# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:00,877 00:00:02,503 Previously on Z Nation Previously on Z Nation
2 00:00:02,544 00:00:04,963 Made it myself. I call it the Z Whacker. Made it myself. I call it the Z Whacker.
3 00:00:05,004 00:00:06,298 Hey, I think I know those dudes. Hey, I think I know those dudes.
4 00:00:06,339 00:00:07,549 Oh my God. Is that... Oh my God. Is that...
5 00:00:07,591 00:00:08,300 Doc! Doc!
6 00:00:08,342 00:00:09,801 Well I'll be damned! Well I'll be damned!
7 00:00:09,843 00:00:11,137 Sketchy and Skeezy? Sketchy and Skeezy?
8 00:00:11,178 00:00:12,804 Where the hell'd you find all that stuff? Where the hell'd you find all that stuff?
9 00:00:12,846 00:00:14,890 Oh yeah, we stayed in Memphis for a bit. Oh yeah, we stayed in Memphis for a bit.
10 00:00:15,015 00:00:17,309 Happened by a little bitty place. Maybe you've heard of it. Happened by a little bitty place. Maybe you've heard of it.
11 00:00:17,352 00:00:19,062 Former home of the King. Former home of the King.
12 00:00:19,103 00:00:20,355 You looted Graceland? You looted Graceland?
13 00:00:20,396 00:00:21,856 We cleaned the place out! We cleaned the place out!
14 00:00:21,897 00:00:23,147 So the way I see it, So the way I see it,
15 00:00:23,190 00:00:23,899 We got to split up. We got to split up.
16 00:00:23,942 00:00:26,027 Oh man. I hate when we split up. Oh man. I hate when we split up.
17 00:00:26,068 00:00:29,196 I get it. But we've got to get to Lucy before Murphy does. I get it. But we've got to get to Lucy before Murphy does.
18 00:01:12,989 00:01:14,908 Come on, Doc. Let me trim your beard. Come on, Doc. Let me trim your beard.
19 00:01:14,950 00:01:17,870 Will you stop already? You're giving me a complex. Will you stop already? You're giving me a complex.
20 00:01:17,912 00:01:19,787 You know sometimes your eyebrows look like furry caterpillars. You know sometimes your eyebrows look like furry caterpillars.
21 00:01:19,829 00:01:21,748 But do I say anything? No. But do I say anything? No.
22 00:01:21,792 00:01:25,420 10K always trims mine. And I always trim his. 10K always trims mine. And I always trim his.
23 00:01:26,253 00:01:28,757 That is too disturbing to even think about right now. That is too disturbing to even think about right now.
24 00:01:28,798 00:01:30,799 You know, if a man can't let himself go You know, if a man can't let himself go
25 00:01:30,841 00:01:34,302 during a zombie apocalypse, then what's the point of having one? during a zombie apocalypse, then what's the point of having one?
26 00:01:34,344 00:01:36,807 One word. Enders. One word. Enders.
27 00:01:36,847 00:01:38,891 One day you stop doing your eyebrows. One day you stop doing your eyebrows.
28 00:01:38,933 00:01:41,393 The next, you're just hair and lice. The next, you're just hair and lice.
29 00:01:41,435 00:01:43,730 And you're held together by a loincloth. And you're held together by a loincloth.
30 00:01:43,772 00:01:45,272 Thanks for the visual. Thanks for the visual.
31 00:01:45,314 00:01:48,817 Hi-ya. It's Kaya in the Sky-a. Hi-ya. It's Kaya in the Sky-a.
32 00:01:48,859 00:01:52,447 Spinning hits from the 2000s, 1990s, 1890s. Spinning hits from the 2000s, 1990s, 1890s.
33 00:01:52,487 00:01:54,114 Basically whatever I want. Basically whatever I want.
34 00:01:54,156 00:01:56,658 Here's another one for Operation Bite Mark. Here's another one for Operation Bite Mark.
35 00:01:56,700 00:01:57,784 Wherever you are. Wherever you are.
36 00:01:57,826 00:01:59,162 We gotta find a transmitter We gotta find a transmitter
37 00:01:59,203 00:02:00,912 and get in touch with CZ and his friend. and get in touch with CZ and his friend.
38 00:02:00,954 00:02:02,290 Let him know what the plan is. Let him know what the plan is.
39 00:02:02,331 00:02:04,167 Yeah, and somebody needs to tell miss Kaya Yeah, and somebody needs to tell miss Kaya
40 00:02:04,207 00:02:07,920 to play some Jimi Hendrix and Bob Dylan and Hank Williams Jr. to play some Jimi Hendrix and Bob Dylan and Hank Williams Jr.
41 00:02:07,962 00:02:10,923 Well, I think the Murphy Mobile has done bit the dust. Well, I think the Murphy Mobile has done bit the dust.
42 00:02:10,965 00:02:14,592 It is beyond my capabilities as a doctor to save. It is beyond my capabilities as a doctor to save.
43 00:02:14,634 00:02:16,469 I wish Warren was here. I wish Warren was here.
44 00:02:16,512 00:02:18,305 I wish everybody was here. I wish everybody was here.
45 00:02:21,224 00:02:22,352 Do you hear that? Do you hear that?
46 00:02:22,393 00:02:23,687 Addy, I'm an old man. Addy, I'm an old man.
47 00:02:23,728 00:02:26,771 I've been shooting a lot of guns. I don't hear shit. I've been shooting a lot of guns. I don't hear shit.
48 00:02:28,525 00:02:31,443 But I do hear that. But I do hear that.
49 00:02:46,167 00:02:47,710 Good sign? Bad sign? Good sign? Bad sign?
50 00:02:47,752 00:02:49,336 Be ready for anything. Be ready for anything.
51 00:02:50,879 00:02:54,508 Well who is this? The President of the Apocalypse? Well who is this? The President of the Apocalypse?
52 00:02:56,051 00:02:59,805 Hello, friends. Trouble on the highway of life? Hello, friends. Trouble on the highway of life?
53 00:02:59,847 00:03:02,516 Wait a minute. I know that voice. Wait a minute. I know that voice.
54 00:03:02,766 00:03:05,978 And I know that beard. What's going on, Doc? And I know that beard. What's going on, Doc?
55 00:03:06,020 00:03:08,856 Sweet Zombie Jesus, it's Sketchy McClaine. Sweet Zombie Jesus, it's Sketchy McClaine.
56 00:03:09,106 00:03:10,189 Wassup Doc? Wassup Doc?
57 00:03:10,567 00:03:12,776 And Skeezy too? And Skeezy too?
58 00:03:12,818 00:03:14,486 Man, I thought you two were dead for sure. Man, I thought you two were dead for sure.
59 00:03:14,527 00:03:15,987 I can't believe it. I can't believe it.
60 00:03:16,030 00:03:17,240 What kinda luck is that? What kinda luck is that?
61 00:03:17,865 00:03:18,782 Dumb luck. Dumb luck.
62 00:03:25,247 00:03:27,500 ♪ Have mercy ♪ ♪ Have mercy ♪
63 00:03:29,293 00:03:35,048 ♪ Oh, have mercy ♪ ♪ Oh, have mercy ♪
64 00:03:42,056 00:03:45,893 An electro-wacker, huh? Aren't you the crafty one? An electro-wacker, huh? Aren't you the crafty one?
65 00:03:45,935 00:03:47,562 Have you patented this? Have you patented this?
66 00:03:47,603 00:03:49,021 No. Why? No. Why?
67 00:03:49,062 00:03:50,314 Nothing. Nothing.
68 00:03:51,064 00:03:52,400 Nothing. Nothing.
69 00:03:53,943 00:03:55,861 Okay. Careful with that. Okay. Careful with that.
70 00:03:55,902 00:03:56,902 Gimme. Gimme.
71 00:04:02,242 00:04:03,745 Oh, thanks. Oh, thanks.
72 00:04:03,787 00:04:04,870 Wow. Wow.
73 00:04:04,912 00:04:05,997 Fruit. Fruit.
74 00:04:06,247 00:04:08,539 Breakfast is the most important drink of the day. Breakfast is the most important drink of the day.
75 00:04:08,581 00:04:09,875 And for the lady? And for the lady?
76 00:04:09,917 00:04:10,960 Who'd you steal the limo from? Who'd you steal the limo from?
77 00:04:11,002 00:04:12,711 Oh, we commandeered this vehicle Oh, we commandeered this vehicle
78 00:04:12,752 00:04:14,879 from the Bill Clinton Presidential Museum from the Bill Clinton Presidential Museum
79 00:04:14,921 00:04:15,757 in Little Rock. in Little Rock.
80 00:04:15,798 00:04:17,216 This is Bill Clinton's limo? This is Bill Clinton's limo?
81 00:04:17,257 00:04:19,052 One and only. Bonafide. One and only. Bonafide.
82 00:04:19,093 00:04:21,802 You wouldn't believe the stuff we found in the seat cushions. You wouldn't believe the stuff we found in the seat cushions.
83 00:04:21,845 00:04:25,098 Remember when that stuff was all anybody cared about? Remember when that stuff was all anybody cared about?
84 00:04:25,516 00:04:26,932 Those were the days. Those were the days.
85 00:04:29,853 00:04:31,062 So, what about you? So, what about you?
86 00:04:31,105 00:04:34,567 I hear your man Murphy's running a long con out of Spokane. I hear your man Murphy's running a long con out of Spokane.
87 00:04:34,608 00:04:36,776 So you're working for him now, hmm? So you're working for him now, hmm?
88 00:04:36,817 00:04:37,778 Nope. Nope.
89 00:04:37,944 00:04:39,487 No, we're headed to Wall Drug. No, we're headed to Wall Drug.
90 00:04:39,529 00:04:41,947 Heard some folks up there are making a go of it. Heard some folks up there are making a go of it.
91 00:04:41,992 00:04:43,533 They got supplies and water. They got supplies and water.
92 00:04:43,951 00:04:45,745 How coincidental. That's where we're headed. How coincidental. That's where we're headed.
93 00:04:47,038 00:04:47,829 Thanks, darlin'. Thanks, darlin'.
94 00:04:47,872 00:04:49,415 Looks like we're ready to go. Looks like we're ready to go.
95 00:04:49,456 00:04:50,333 Gentlemen. Gentlemen.
96 00:04:51,125 00:04:54,752 Hey, hey. Hold on now. Look. You two have been drinking. Hey, hey. Hold on now. Look. You two have been drinking.
97 00:04:54,795 00:04:56,922 So stay here. Relax. I'll drive it in for you. So stay here. Relax. I'll drive it in for you.
98 00:04:56,963 00:04:59,007 We're all going to the same place, huh? We're all going to the same place, huh?
99 00:04:59,050 00:04:59,966 What's the catch? What's the catch?
100 00:05:00,132 00:05:00,968 Addy. Addy.
101 00:05:01,009 00:05:03,262 Addidale, if I may use your full name. Addidale, if I may use your full name.
102 00:05:03,302 00:05:04,012 That's not my name. That's not my name.
103 00:05:04,055 00:05:04,971 Addidale. Addidale.
104 00:05:05,012 00:05:08,475 Fate has reunited us. And for that I thank it. Fate has reunited us. And for that I thank it.
105 00:05:08,516 00:05:12,021 But if you have no trust in the quixotic gods of Eros, But if you have no trust in the quixotic gods of Eros,
106 00:05:12,062 00:05:15,524 have some trust in friendship. Because I am now have some trust in friendship. Because I am now
107 00:05:15,567 00:05:17,985 and will always be your friend. and will always be your friend.
108 00:05:18,737 00:05:20,987 And friends don't let friends drink and drive. And friends don't let friends drink and drive.
109 00:05:21,029 00:05:22,697 Even in the Apocalypse. Even in the Apocalypse.
110 00:05:23,072 00:05:25,367 I regret this already. I regret this already.
111 00:05:25,410 00:05:27,327 You lay it on kinda thick, bro. You lay it on kinda thick, bro.
112 00:05:27,370 00:05:28,829 I meant every word, Abigail. I meant every word, Abigail.
113 00:05:31,915 00:05:33,834 So, who's the muscle? So, who's the muscle?
114 00:05:33,877 00:05:36,920 Oh, Gina and Tina? Presidential motorcade. Oh, Gina and Tina? Presidential motorcade.
115 00:05:37,088 00:05:38,923 I can introduce you if you want. I can introduce you if you want.
116 00:05:39,214 00:05:42,134 Oh brother, they're real energetic. Oh brother, they're real energetic.
117 00:05:43,677 00:05:44,427 Woo! Woo!
118 00:05:47,682 00:05:49,307 Did he say presidential motorcade? Did he say presidential motorcade?
119 00:05:51,226 00:05:53,353 What are these knuckleheads up to this time? What are these knuckleheads up to this time?
120 00:05:53,394 00:05:55,187 Best not to think about it too much. Best not to think about it too much.
121 00:05:55,230 00:05:57,233 Let's just enjoy the ride. Let's just enjoy the ride.
122 00:06:45,237 00:06:46,990 Hey. Wear these, would ya? Hey. Wear these, would ya?
123 00:06:50,995 00:06:52,704 This another one of your scams? This another one of your scams?
124 00:06:52,747 00:06:55,958 I-it's not a scam if the actual President is doing it. I-it's not a scam if the actual President is doing it.
125 00:06:56,083 00:06:57,000 President? President?
126 00:06:57,752 00:06:59,877 President of the United States of America? President of the United States of America?
127 00:06:59,920 00:07:02,257 You heard right, Addilicious. You heard right, Addilicious.
128 00:07:04,925 00:07:07,887 Straight from his battles with the zombies in Congress, Straight from his battles with the zombies in Congress,
129 00:07:07,927 00:07:11,723 the 357th President of the United States, the 357th President of the United States,
130 00:07:11,764 00:07:15,937 Thurston Howell the Fourth! Thurston Howell the Fourth!
131 00:07:16,937 00:07:18,187 Thurston Howell? Thurston Howell?
132 00:07:18,605 00:07:20,064 That's the dude from "Gilligan's Island." That's the dude from "Gilligan's Island."
133 00:07:20,107 00:07:21,817 That's my actual real name. That's my actual real name.
134 00:07:21,858 00:07:23,401 Of course it is. Of course it is.
135 00:07:23,442 00:07:24,944 Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen.
136 00:07:24,987 00:07:28,781 Making America, America again. Making America, America again.
137 00:07:28,824 00:07:34,163 Your President! Your President!
138 00:07:35,204 00:07:38,000 My people! Fellow citizens. My people! Fellow citizens.
139 00:07:38,166 00:07:39,377 It is I, It is I,
140 00:07:39,502 00:07:42,588 your humble but fearless leader. your humble but fearless leader.
141 00:07:42,629 00:07:45,007 Sorry El Presidente. It looks like nobody's here. Sorry El Presidente. It looks like nobody's here.
142 00:07:45,048 00:07:48,593 Nah, we get this all the time. They're hiding. Nah, we get this all the time. They're hiding.
143 00:07:48,634 00:07:50,470 They're smart sensible people. They're smart sensible people.
144 00:07:50,512 00:07:53,850 Who can blame them really, given the rising tide of crime. Who can blame them really, given the rising tide of crime.
145 00:07:53,891 00:07:57,187 Perhaps some entertainment for the masses. Skeezy. Perhaps some entertainment for the masses. Skeezy.
146 00:08:07,153 00:08:08,447 What? What?
147 00:08:23,586 00:08:25,548 Well they sure are energetic. Well they sure are energetic.
148 00:08:32,011 00:08:33,013 Oh my God. Oh my God.
149 00:08:34,347 00:08:35,850 Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid.
150 00:08:35,892 00:08:38,851 We're here to make this planet great again. We're here to make this planet great again.
151 00:08:40,352 00:08:41,980 Can I kill them yet? Please. Can I kill them yet? Please.
152 00:08:42,022 00:08:43,106 Look. Look.
153 00:08:43,190 00:08:47,653 Come on out! You, I see you. Come on out. Come on out! You, I see you. Come on out.
154 00:08:49,738 00:08:52,783 Don't be afraid. I'm here for you. Don't be afraid. I'm here for you.
155 00:08:53,200 00:08:55,243 You're gonna make it. You're gonna make it.
156 00:08:56,787 00:08:57,663 What's your name? What's your name?
157 00:08:57,705 00:08:59,873 They call me the Mayor. They call me the Mayor.
158 00:09:00,875 00:09:02,293 Miss Mayor. Miss Mayor.
159 00:09:03,876 00:09:07,340 The United States Government thanks you for your service. The United States Government thanks you for your service.
160 00:09:07,381 00:09:09,716 Oh, may I introduce my Chief of Staff. Oh, may I introduce my Chief of Staff.
161 00:09:09,758 00:09:11,509 This is Wendle Lincoln Jefferson. This is Wendle Lincoln Jefferson.
162 00:09:11,552 00:09:14,596 He's my right hand man and spiritual advisor. He's my right hand man and spiritual advisor.
163 00:09:14,638 00:09:18,142 I think faith is so important in these end times. I think faith is so important in these end times.
164 00:09:23,562 00:09:24,940 Miss Mayor. Miss Mayor.
165 00:09:25,273 00:09:26,774 Citizens of Wall Drug. Citizens of Wall Drug.
166 00:09:26,817 00:09:29,903 My fellow what's left of Americans. My fellow what's left of Americans.
167 00:09:29,945 00:09:32,865 Today marks the first time I've visited your fair berg. Today marks the first time I've visited your fair berg.
168 00:09:32,907 00:09:35,743 And I'm here to report the State of the Union. And I'm here to report the State of the Union.
169 00:09:35,784 00:09:37,243 Let's be honest. Let's be honest.
170 00:09:37,620 00:09:39,413 We've seen better days. We've seen better days.
171 00:09:39,455 00:09:40,748 He is actually doing it. He is actually doing it.
172 00:09:40,789 00:09:43,042 He's actually pretending to be the President. He's actually pretending to be the President.
173 00:09:43,082 00:09:44,543 They're actually listening. They're actually listening.
174 00:09:44,585 00:09:45,919 I'm sure you've all heard I'm sure you've all heard
175 00:09:45,961 00:09:48,712 the President of the United States is dead. the President of the United States is dead.
176 00:09:48,754 00:09:51,549 And that the American government ran off howling in the night And that the American government ran off howling in the night
177 00:09:51,591 00:09:54,927 like so many coyotes. Which is all true. like so many coyotes. Which is all true.
178 00:09:54,970 00:09:58,932 So admittedly what we can expect this fiscal year is pretty low. So admittedly what we can expect this fiscal year is pretty low.
179 00:10:00,100 00:10:01,476 Well this won't last long. Well this won't last long.
180 00:10:01,518 00:10:02,727 Hopefully though, Hopefully though,
181 00:10:02,769 00:10:03,769 together, together,
182 00:10:03,812 00:10:07,442 in partnership, we can rebuild our infrastructure. in partnership, we can rebuild our infrastructure.
183 00:10:07,482 00:10:09,610 And get America working again! And get America working again!
184 00:10:12,779 00:10:15,908 Revitalizing our storied Postal Service. Revitalizing our storied Postal Service.
185 00:10:17,326 00:10:18,995 And most importantly, And most importantly,
186 00:10:19,452 00:10:22,246 controlling that most aggressive threat. controlling that most aggressive threat.
187 00:10:22,288 00:10:24,250 That socialist zombie menace! That socialist zombie menace!
188 00:10:28,461 00:10:29,962 Zombie assassin! Zombie assassin!
189 00:10:30,172 00:10:31,298 Security! Security!
190 00:10:39,722 00:10:40,975 Mercy Mercy
191 00:10:41,142 00:10:42,518 and good riddance. and good riddance.
192 00:10:42,976 00:10:44,644 Zombie scum. Zombie scum.
193 00:10:44,977 00:10:46,480 They just keep coming, don't they? They just keep coming, don't they?
194 00:10:46,522 00:10:49,692 It all starts to feel like a lost cause, doesn't it? It all starts to feel like a lost cause, doesn't it?
195 00:10:49,817 00:10:51,152 But you know, But you know,
196 00:10:51,192 00:10:54,197 maybe being President in this crazy Apocalypse maybe being President in this crazy Apocalypse
197 00:10:54,238 00:10:56,407 is just another lost cause. is just another lost cause.
198 00:10:56,572 00:10:57,450 Still, Still,
199 00:10:57,491 00:11:00,659 I'm willing to lay my life down for you. I'm willing to lay my life down for you.
200 00:11:00,995 00:11:01,912 Why? Why?
201 00:11:02,705 00:11:04,789 Because lost causes are worth dying for! Because lost causes are worth dying for!
202 00:11:05,664 00:11:06,707 America! America!
203 00:11:12,715 00:11:14,966 Hook, line, and sinker. They love him. Hook, line, and sinker. They love him.
204 00:11:17,052 00:11:18,845 Are you all right, Mr. President? Are you all right, Mr. President?
205 00:11:19,429 00:11:20,429 I'm okay. I'm okay.
206 00:11:24,101 00:11:25,476 Let me kiss your baby. Let me kiss your baby.
207 00:11:25,518 00:11:26,312 Come here. Come here.
208 00:11:27,352 00:11:29,315 Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, Jesus Christ.
209 00:11:44,955 00:11:47,917 Mr. Smith goes to the Apocalypse. Mr. Smith goes to the Apocalypse.
210 00:11:52,922 00:11:55,381 I was a cashier here back pre-Z. I was a cashier here back pre-Z.
211 00:11:55,924 00:11:57,842 Should've seen it then. Should've seen it then.
212 00:11:57,884 00:11:59,595 Not much left now. Not much left now.
213 00:11:59,886 00:12:02,514 The fire burned most of it down Day One. The fire burned most of it down Day One.
214 00:12:02,557 00:12:05,142 And the pharmacy and kitchen were raided. And the pharmacy and kitchen were raided.
215 00:12:05,182 00:12:06,226 When the well dried up, When the well dried up,
216 00:12:06,268 00:12:09,687 most of the survivors drifted off the Rosebud down the road. most of the survivors drifted off the Rosebud down the road.
217 00:12:09,730 00:12:12,023 We're all that's left here in South Dakota. We're all that's left here in South Dakota.
218 00:12:12,065 00:12:14,942 Us and a few travelers, such as yourself. Us and a few travelers, such as yourself.
219 00:12:15,402 00:12:16,861 So you're cleaned out? So you're cleaned out?
220 00:12:16,903 00:12:18,529 Well, not completely. Well, not completely.
221 00:12:18,572 00:12:23,618 We manage to trade the remaining décor for food and supplies. We manage to trade the remaining décor for food and supplies.
222 00:12:23,659 00:12:25,788 Guns, ammo, medical supplies. Guns, ammo, medical supplies.
223 00:12:25,830 00:12:28,081 Even in the Apocalypse, folks love kitsch. Even in the Apocalypse, folks love kitsch.
224 00:12:28,123 00:12:30,876 Truer words were never spoke. Truer words were never spoke.
225 00:12:30,918 00:12:31,876 Well? Well?
226 00:12:31,918 00:12:33,128 No sign of a radio. No sign of a radio.
227 00:12:33,169 00:12:35,754 Well I won't say it wasn't worth it cuz it wasn't. Well I won't say it wasn't worth it cuz it wasn't.
228 00:12:35,798 00:12:38,341 You know they're gonna rip these people off, right? You know they're gonna rip these people off, right?
229 00:12:38,383 00:12:39,884 I know. Do we care? I know. Do we care?
230 00:12:39,927 00:12:42,386 Well we're on a mission. I'm sorry. Excuse me. Well we're on a mission. I'm sorry. Excuse me.
231 00:12:42,427 00:12:43,471 Mr. President. Mr. President.
232 00:12:43,513 00:12:45,432 Mr. President. Please help us. Mr. President. Please help us.
233 00:12:45,472 00:12:47,893 Well of course. Help is my middle name. Well of course. Help is my middle name.
234 00:12:47,934 00:12:49,144 What can I do for you? What can I do for you?
235 00:12:49,187 00:12:52,731 The old man that attacked you, the Z in the loafers. The old man that attacked you, the Z in the loafers.
236 00:12:52,773 00:12:56,277 He was sick before he turned. Like my husband is sick. He was sick before he turned. Like my husband is sick.
237 00:12:57,486 00:13:00,197 Sorry to hear that. Here, smile for the camera. Sorry to hear that. Here, smile for the camera.
238 00:13:01,115 00:13:01,907 Okay. Okay.
239 00:13:01,947 00:13:03,741 Just leave your information with my man here, and Just leave your information with my man here, and
240 00:13:03,783 00:13:06,745 we'll send you a signed copy for just a small donation we'll send you a signed copy for just a small donation
241 00:13:06,787 00:13:07,913 at our Gold Jubilee level. at our Gold Jubilee level.
242 00:13:07,955 00:13:09,956 Give her pin. Good luck. Give her pin. Good luck.
243 00:13:10,832 00:13:13,626 You don't act very Presidential. You don't act very Presidential.
244 00:13:13,876 00:13:15,294 This ought to be good. This ought to be good.
245 00:13:17,965 00:13:20,549 Excuse me, Mrs.? Excuse me, Mrs.?
246 00:13:20,799 00:13:21,802 Erin. Erin.
247 00:13:21,884 00:13:22,595 Erin. Erin.
248 00:13:22,636 00:13:24,346 So I'm a doctor, sort of. So I'm a doctor, sort of.
249 00:13:24,388 00:13:25,638 Can you help me? Can you help me?
250 00:13:25,679 00:13:28,182 Sure. I'll be happy to do what I can. Sure. I'll be happy to do what I can.
251 00:13:28,225 00:13:29,268 Hey. Hey.
252 00:13:29,309 00:13:30,809 You gonna... You gonna...
253 00:13:33,687 00:13:37,482 I'm gonna watch Tweedledee and Tweedledumbass. I'm gonna watch Tweedledee and Tweedledumbass.
254 00:13:37,527 00:13:39,778 How do we know you are who you say you are? How do we know you are who you say you are?
255 00:13:39,820 00:13:42,947 Madame Mayor. I don't often like to brandish my credentials, Madame Mayor. I don't often like to brandish my credentials,
256 00:13:42,990 00:13:44,575 but you've left me no choice. but you've left me no choice.
257 00:13:44,991 00:13:47,493 Wendle. Football, please. Wendle. Football, please.
258 00:13:47,745 00:13:50,621 Or should I say, nuclear football. Or should I say, nuclear football.
259 00:13:50,663 00:13:52,832 The codes are in here. Uh-huh. The codes are in here. Uh-huh.
260 00:13:52,875 00:13:54,960 Who voted for you? I didn't. Who voted for you? I didn't.
261 00:13:55,001 00:13:56,878 Wendle. Papers, please. Wendle. Papers, please.
262 00:13:58,379 00:14:00,548 Who voted for me? Nobody did. Who voted for me? Nobody did.
263 00:14:00,590 00:14:03,967 I'm 192nd in the line of succession. I'm 192nd in the line of succession.
264 00:14:04,009 00:14:05,971 Back before the Apocalypse, pre-Z I was the Back before the Apocalypse, pre-Z I was the
265 00:14:06,013 00:14:09,057 Assistant Fish and Game Warden for the District of Columbia. Assistant Fish and Game Warden for the District of Columbia.
266 00:14:09,097 00:14:12,852 Now everybody from the President to my boss is dead. Now everybody from the President to my boss is dead.
267 00:14:13,019 00:14:14,855 What are your qualifications? What are your qualifications?
268 00:14:15,022 00:14:16,106 I'm alive. I'm alive.
269 00:14:18,024 00:14:19,817 I see you're not convinced. I see you're not convinced.
270 00:14:19,860 00:14:21,861 Okay. The garments. Okay. The garments.
271 00:14:24,029 00:14:24,822 Ugh. Ugh.
272 00:14:24,865 00:14:27,200 Normally only the First Lady gets to see this. Normally only the First Lady gets to see this.
273 00:14:27,241 00:14:28,034 Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus.
274 00:14:28,076 00:14:30,495 Sadly, last year we had to mercy her. Sadly, last year we had to mercy her.
275 00:14:30,537 00:14:34,039 Of course, I'm always looking for a Second Lady. Of course, I'm always looking for a Second Lady.
276 00:14:36,710 00:14:38,544 We keep them quarantined in here. We keep them quarantined in here.
277 00:14:39,211 00:14:40,337 How long's this been going on? How long's this been going on?
278 00:14:40,379 00:14:42,674 People started getting sick a week ago. People started getting sick a week ago.
279 00:14:42,716 00:14:43,883 It moves fast. It moves fast.
280 00:14:43,966 00:14:47,511 Once they drop, it takes about 48 hours before they... Once they drop, it takes about 48 hours before they...
281 00:14:47,552 00:14:51,182 This is my husband. He's been this way since yesterday. This is my husband. He's been this way since yesterday.
282 00:14:52,057 00:14:52,934 Shhh. Shhh.
283 00:15:00,067 00:15:02,277 It's okay. It's okay, baby. It's okay. It's okay, baby.
284 00:15:03,736 00:15:04,904 He's a doctor. He's a doctor.
285 00:15:05,822 00:15:07,908 Look at his eyes. Look at his eyes.
286 00:15:13,580 00:15:16,957 I've seen some weird shit, but I've never seen that before. I've seen some weird shit, but I've never seen that before.
287 00:15:19,503 00:15:20,962 They all have it. They all have it.
288 00:15:24,383 00:15:25,967 It's the first sign that something's wrong. It's the first sign that something's wrong.
289 00:15:26,009 00:15:28,386 Well have any of these folks been bitten? Well have any of these folks been bitten?
290 00:15:28,427 00:15:30,304 Any strange Zs in the neighborhood? Any strange Zs in the neighborhood?
291 00:15:30,346 00:15:32,139 Nothing that we know of. Nothing that we know of.
292 00:15:32,642 00:15:34,309 Can you do anything? Can you do anything?
293 00:15:34,351 00:15:36,562 Well, if it's a virus, there's really nothing you can do Well, if it's a virus, there's really nothing you can do
294 00:15:36,602 00:15:39,565 but quarantine the victims and hope it runs its course. but quarantine the victims and hope it runs its course.
295 00:15:39,606 00:15:40,940 But this eye thing, But this eye thing,
296 00:15:40,982 00:15:42,860 I don't know what it means. I don't know what it means.
297 00:15:46,613 00:15:49,282 Well, thanks anyway. Well, thanks anyway.
298 00:15:50,658 00:15:51,826 Sorry. Sorry.
299 00:16:00,960 00:16:02,128 Thank you. Thank you.
300 00:16:02,169 00:16:05,006 Thank you so much. Oh, oh goodness. Thank you so much. Oh, oh goodness.
301 00:16:07,008 00:16:07,967 How'd it go? How'd it go?
302 00:16:08,009 00:16:09,970 That's some kinda funky Apocalyptic juju. That's some kinda funky Apocalyptic juju.
303 00:16:10,011 00:16:12,096 Just really not a lot I can do. Just really not a lot I can do.
304 00:16:12,138 00:16:13,014 Yikes. Yikes.
305 00:16:13,057 00:16:14,932 Citizens of Wall Drug. Citizens of Wall Drug.
306 00:16:14,975 00:16:16,768 I've toured your fine community, I've toured your fine community,
307 00:16:16,809 00:16:20,812 and I've broken bread with your people. And I must say and I've broken bread with your people. And I must say
308 00:16:20,855 00:16:25,152 Wall Drug is a vital and wholly American enterprise. Wall Drug is a vital and wholly American enterprise.
309 00:16:28,988 00:16:29,865 But, But,
310 00:16:30,322 00:16:31,950 there's fear here. there's fear here.
311 00:16:31,991 00:16:33,951 And that's no good, my friends. And that's no good, my friends.
312 00:16:33,993 00:16:35,995 Because fear turns us into monsters. Because fear turns us into monsters.
313 00:16:36,038 00:16:40,167 No less violent than the Enders, and no more alive than the Zs. No less violent than the Enders, and no more alive than the Zs.
314 00:16:40,332 00:16:43,878 I don't want you to be afraid. Not ever again. I don't want you to be afraid. Not ever again.
315 00:16:44,211 00:16:45,212 And that And that
316 00:16:45,254 00:16:47,465 is why I'm asking for your help is why I'm asking for your help
317 00:16:47,506 00:16:51,595 to make America, America again! to make America, America again!
318 00:16:53,388 00:16:54,221 America! America!
319 00:16:55,847 00:16:56,807 Help me Help me
320 00:16:56,850 00:17:00,269 build a wall to keep the zombies out. build a wall to keep the zombies out.
321 00:17:00,394 00:17:03,065 And I'm gonna make the Zs build it! And I'm gonna make the Zs build it!
322 00:17:06,109 00:17:09,488 Today, I'm asking you to help me Today, I'm asking you to help me
323 00:17:09,529 00:17:13,491 in ridding this great nation of that zombie scourge forever! in ridding this great nation of that zombie scourge forever!
324 00:17:18,788 00:17:21,875 Dig, if you will, this picture. Dig, if you will, this picture.
325 00:17:24,877 00:17:26,337 A wall. A wall.
326 00:17:26,380 00:17:29,883 Stretching from the Grand Coulee Dam to the Mississippi River. Stretching from the Grand Coulee Dam to the Mississippi River.
327 00:17:29,924 00:17:34,430 Keeping us safe within, and the zombies without. Keeping us safe within, and the zombies without.
328 00:17:39,224 00:17:41,394 Safety is freedom. Safety is freedom.
329 00:17:41,436 00:17:43,230 Freedom is greatness. Freedom is greatness.
330 00:17:43,271 00:17:46,275 Let's make America America again! Let's make America America again!
331 00:17:46,317 00:17:47,400 Woo! Woo!
332 00:17:50,319 00:17:53,240 But, in order to build this wall, But, in order to build this wall,
333 00:17:53,615 00:17:54,950 we're gonna need funding. we're gonna need funding.
334 00:17:55,075 00:17:57,952 Whatever you can give us for trade, Whatever you can give us for trade,
335 00:17:57,994 00:18:02,457 whether that be guns or ammo or alcohol or pills. whether that be guns or ammo or alcohol or pills.
336 00:18:02,498 00:18:04,291 No donation is too small No donation is too small
337 00:18:04,333 00:18:06,795 or too large. I mean don't hold back. or too large. I mean don't hold back.
338 00:18:07,252 00:18:08,297 Oh, baby. Oh, baby.
339 00:18:09,087 00:18:11,258 Your mother would be proud. Thank you. Your mother would be proud. Thank you.
340 00:18:11,592 00:18:12,549 That's right. That's right.
341 00:18:12,592 00:18:13,718 Don't be shy. Don't be shy.
342 00:18:13,759 00:18:16,221 God will welcome you with a warm embrace. God will welcome you with a warm embrace.
343 00:18:16,262 00:18:18,932 It's a small price to pay for security. It's a small price to pay for security.
344 00:18:18,972 00:18:22,768 Remember the more you give, the higher the wall. Remember the more you give, the higher the wall.
345 00:18:22,936 00:18:24,269 Oh no. Please don't. He's not... Oh no. Please don't. He's not...
346 00:18:24,311 00:18:26,522 At least he's doing something. At least he's doing something.
347 00:18:26,981 00:18:29,692 Somebody's finally giving us hope. Somebody's finally giving us hope.
348 00:18:53,717 00:18:56,595 What a day for patriotism, huh! What a day for patriotism, huh!
349 00:18:56,636 00:18:57,511 Yeah! Yeah!
350 00:19:04,561 00:19:07,605 You know, it's like my mother used to tell me, You know, it's like my mother used to tell me,
351 00:19:07,646 00:19:09,525 during our early morning walks with God, during our early morning walks with God,
352 00:19:10,982 00:19:13,487 Owww! A shoe! Owww! A shoe!
353 00:19:14,194 00:19:17,156 And there's more where that came from, you heel. And there's more where that came from, you heel.
354 00:19:17,365 00:19:19,325 And who the hell are you? And who the hell are you?
355 00:19:19,535 00:19:22,162 John J. Lannister. Your next President. John J. Lannister. Your next President.
356 00:19:23,872 00:19:26,123 Okay. Things are getting ugly. That's our cue. Okay. Things are getting ugly. That's our cue.
357 00:19:26,164 00:19:28,292 I thought you said this garbage-fire was dead? I thought you said this garbage-fire was dead?
358 00:19:28,335 00:19:29,335 I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened.
359 00:19:29,376 00:19:30,877 I saw the Zs take him down by the dumpster. I saw the Zs take him down by the dumpster.
360 00:19:30,920 00:19:34,592 Nobody could have got away from that. Nobody. Nobody could have got away from that. Nobody.
361 00:19:44,934 00:19:46,436 What's wrong? What's wrong?
362 00:19:47,603 00:19:48,646 Doc? Doc?
363 00:19:48,688 00:19:50,522 This illness that's going around, This illness that's going around,
364 00:19:50,565 00:19:52,067 it reminds me of Black Summer. it reminds me of Black Summer.
365 00:19:53,067 00:19:54,653 I've seen this sort of thing wipe out whole cities I've seen this sort of thing wipe out whole cities
366 00:19:54,694 00:19:56,153 in a matter of days. in a matter of days.
367 00:19:56,194 00:19:57,696 So you're not ready to go? So you're not ready to go?
368 00:19:57,738 00:20:01,116 There's still time to find out what is making these folks sick. There's still time to find out what is making these folks sick.
369 00:20:01,701 00:20:05,454 And what if we get sick? Is that worth the risk? And what if we get sick? Is that worth the risk?
370 00:20:05,704 00:20:09,291 Why save the world if there's nobody left to enjoy it? Why save the world if there's nobody left to enjoy it?
371 00:20:22,555 00:20:23,640 Rope. Rope.
372 00:20:24,642 00:20:25,767 Duct tape. Duct tape.
373 00:20:26,643 00:20:27,643 Car battery. Car battery.
374 00:20:29,061 00:20:30,063 Gator clips. Gator clips.
375 00:20:31,397 00:20:32,565 Cattle prod. Cattle prod.
376 00:20:51,460 00:20:54,420 You stole my business model. You stole my limo. You stole my business model. You stole my limo.
377 00:20:54,461 00:20:58,549 And, lowest of all, you stole my Pom Pom girls! And, lowest of all, you stole my Pom Pom girls!
378 00:20:58,592 00:21:01,720 Gina and Tina are Pom Pom women. Gina and Tina are Pom Pom women.
379 00:21:01,761 00:21:04,430 And that attitude right there is the reason you lost them. And that attitude right there is the reason you lost them.
380 00:21:04,471 00:21:07,099 I should never have pulled you out of that anthill in Boise! I should never have pulled you out of that anthill in Boise!
381 00:21:07,142 00:21:09,393 Why don't you just leave, short fingers. Why don't you just leave, short fingers.
382 00:21:10,269 00:21:11,480 You little fascist. You little fascist.
383 00:21:19,696 00:21:21,029 Give it back. Give it back.
384 00:21:22,615 00:21:24,282 It smells like cheese! It smells like cheese!
385 00:21:24,826 00:21:26,076 Gina and Tina. Gina and Tina.
386 00:21:26,117 00:21:27,412 Gina and Tina, everybody. Gina and Tina, everybody.
387 00:21:32,458 00:21:35,554 Tell you what, you just don't see talent like that anymore. Tell you what, you just don't see talent like that anymore.
388 00:21:35,556 00:21:36,587 Nope. Nope.
389 00:21:36,630 00:21:39,257 Well, it's been a pleasure. We've got to go now. Well, it's been a pleasure. We've got to go now.
390 00:21:39,298 00:21:41,509 Cuz we've got a wall to build. Cuz we've got a wall to build.
391 00:21:41,551 00:21:44,261 Plus, the zombies will wait for no man. Plus, the zombies will wait for no man.
392 00:21:44,303 00:21:47,097 Not even the President of the United States. Not even the President of the United States.
393 00:21:47,140 00:21:49,142 Mark my words, though. Mark my words, though.
394 00:21:49,182 00:21:51,686 Four score and seven years from now, Four score and seven years from now,
395 00:21:51,728 00:21:54,521 you're gonna see that wall. you're gonna see that wall.
396 00:21:54,563 00:21:55,522 Okay? Okay?
397 00:21:55,565 00:21:57,482 Okay, let's go. Let's go. Okay, let's go. Let's go.
398 00:21:58,402 00:22:00,153 Now hold on there, Mr. President. Now hold on there, Mr. President.
399 00:22:00,319 00:22:03,281 You can't just leave with all these good folks' stuff. You can't just leave with all these good folks' stuff.
400 00:22:03,323 00:22:05,700 Not without a vote. That's undemocratic. Not without a vote. That's undemocratic.
401 00:22:05,741 00:22:08,369 Well this isn't stuff. These are donations. Well this isn't stuff. These are donations.
402 00:22:08,412 00:22:10,454 That's very democratic. That's very democratic.
403 00:22:10,497 00:22:12,623 Well these people don't want to be told Well these people don't want to be told
404 00:22:12,664 00:22:14,333 to just follow some old jackass. to just follow some old jackass.
405 00:22:14,375 00:22:16,335 They want to vote for one. They want to vote for one.
406 00:22:16,377 00:22:17,877 Citizens of Wall Drug. Citizens of Wall Drug.
407 00:22:17,920 00:22:21,007 You deserve a choice, and now you have one. Because I, You deserve a choice, and now you have one. Because I,
408 00:22:21,048 00:22:24,384 John J. Lannister, hereby announce my candidacy. John J. Lannister, hereby announce my candidacy.
409 00:22:24,426 00:22:25,636 You can't run for President. You can't run for President.
410 00:22:25,678 00:22:27,471 It isn't an election season. It isn't an election season.
411 00:22:27,512 00:22:29,140 You don't have a platform. You don't have a platform.
412 00:22:29,182 00:22:30,474 Platforms don't matter, son. Platforms don't matter, son.
413 00:22:30,517 00:22:32,309 Just the men standing on them. Just the men standing on them.
414 00:22:32,352 00:22:33,436 Don't worry, Tina. Don't worry, Tina.
415 00:22:33,978 00:22:36,188 You're with us now. And we'll never leave you, baby. You're with us now. And we'll never leave you, baby.
416 00:22:36,230 00:22:40,192 But now that you mention it, I do in fact have a plan. But now that you mention it, I do in fact have a plan.
417 00:22:40,234 00:22:42,487 And everybody's gonna love it because And everybody's gonna love it because
418 00:22:42,528 00:22:45,406 it's a vast improvement over my opponent's untenable it's a vast improvement over my opponent's untenable
419 00:22:45,448 00:22:46,741 wall nonsense. wall nonsense.
420 00:22:46,782 00:22:48,285 I present to you I present to you
421 00:22:48,867 00:22:50,452 a series a series
422 00:22:51,037 00:22:53,832 of very large of very large
423 00:22:53,873 00:22:55,041 holes. holes.
424 00:22:56,041 00:22:59,502 Now, we use criminals as bait to attract the zombies. Now, we use criminals as bait to attract the zombies.
425 00:22:59,545 00:23:03,174 The Zs fall into the holes and eat the criminals. The Zs fall into the holes and eat the criminals.
426 00:23:03,217 00:23:04,174 It's a twofer! It's a twofer!
427 00:23:06,134 00:23:07,386 Hold on. Hold on.
428 00:23:07,636 00:23:09,221 Not so fast. Not so fast.
429 00:23:09,555 00:23:11,390 Let's hear this guy out. Let's hear this guy out.
430 00:23:11,932 00:23:14,059 Well, I propose a debate. Well, I propose a debate.
431 00:23:14,102 00:23:17,021 To prove the better plan and the better man. To prove the better plan and the better man.
432 00:23:17,063 00:23:18,397 Winner takes all. Winner takes all.
433 00:23:18,440 00:23:20,607 Donations go to the better candidate. Donations go to the better candidate.
434 00:23:20,982 00:23:23,444 I mean, what do you say, Mr. President? I mean, what do you say, Mr. President?
435 00:23:23,487 00:23:25,321 Unless of course you're scared? Unless of course you're scared?
436 00:23:25,779 00:23:28,782 Yes. Yeah, of course. Debate. Yes. Yeah, of course. Debate.
437 00:23:28,825 00:23:31,619 I nominate Wendy Lincoln Jefferson, my associate, I nominate Wendy Lincoln Jefferson, my associate,
438 00:23:31,662 00:23:33,247 as the moderator. as the moderator.
439 00:23:33,288 00:23:35,789 Nah, I don't think so. We need someone neutral. Nah, I don't think so. We need someone neutral.
440 00:23:35,832 00:23:38,460 Someone without a stake in the game. Someone without a stake in the game.
441 00:23:38,501 00:23:41,462 Someone who really doesn't care about any of this. Someone who really doesn't care about any of this.
442 00:23:42,005 00:23:44,048 You. You.
443 00:23:44,089 00:23:47,009 You. There. With the eyebrows. You. There. With the eyebrows.
444 00:23:50,012 00:23:53,474 All right, you mansplaining political hacks. All right, you mansplaining political hacks.
445 00:23:53,517 00:23:56,102 You wanna play? I'm game. You wanna play? I'm game.
446 00:23:57,019 00:23:58,396 My first question is... My first question is...
447 00:23:58,438 00:24:01,607 Point of order. I believe we start with opening statements. Point of order. I believe we start with opening statements.
448 00:24:01,650 00:24:03,734 Wall. Holes. Wall. Holes.
449 00:24:03,777 00:24:05,653 The American public gets it. The American public gets it.
450 00:24:05,694 00:24:07,904 My first question is to both candidates. My first question is to both candidates.
451 00:24:07,946 00:24:10,991 Isn't it true that you are both shameless con artists Isn't it true that you are both shameless con artists
452 00:24:11,032 00:24:14,327 trying to rip off the very communities you purport to help? trying to rip off the very communities you purport to help?
453 00:24:14,369 00:24:15,497 It's a gotcha question. It's a gotcha question.
454 00:24:15,663 00:24:16,914 That's a gotcha question. That's a gotcha question.
455 00:24:16,957 00:24:19,583 Miss Lady. I hear what you're saying. Miss Lady. I hear what you're saying.
456 00:24:19,625 00:24:21,335 And I understand where you're coming from And I understand where you're coming from
457 00:24:21,376 00:24:23,797 as a woman in the press corp. as a woman in the press corp.
458 00:24:23,837 00:24:28,008 I did not have con artist relations with this man. I did not have con artist relations with this man.
459 00:24:28,384 00:24:31,261 But, when I get those zombies down on their knees But, when I get those zombies down on their knees
460 00:24:31,303 00:24:32,680 putting those low bricks in the wall... putting those low bricks in the wall...
461 00:24:32,721 00:24:36,267 Oh yeah, yeah. How you gonna get zombies to build a wall? Oh yeah, yeah. How you gonna get zombies to build a wall?
462 00:24:36,307 00:24:40,438 Zombies cannot be trained. As President, you should know that. Zombies cannot be trained. As President, you should know that.
463 00:24:40,480 00:24:43,317 Lannister, you small-fingered fool. Lannister, you small-fingered fool.
464 00:24:43,357 00:24:46,612 Why don't you quit flimflamming with your jibber jabber for once Why don't you quit flimflamming with your jibber jabber for once
465 00:24:46,653 00:24:48,488 and say what you really think. and say what you really think.
466 00:24:48,696 00:24:51,323 He doesn't think America deserves a wall! He doesn't think America deserves a wall!
467 00:24:51,365 00:24:54,451 He doesn't think America's good enough for a wall! He doesn't think America's good enough for a wall!
468 00:24:54,492 00:24:55,452 He hates America! He hates America!
469 00:24:55,494 00:24:57,454 No, no, no! I love America! No, no, no! I love America!
470 00:24:57,497 00:24:59,623 It's business as usual politicians, It's business as usual politicians,
471 00:24:59,664 00:25:01,710 like my opponent, that I hate. like my opponent, that I hate.
472 00:25:01,751 00:25:03,795 So you've changed your mind on America now, huh? So you've changed your mind on America now, huh?
473 00:25:03,836 00:25:04,627 No. No.
474 00:25:04,670 00:25:07,964 Flip-flop. Flip-flop. Do you see what's happening here, folks? Flip-flop. Flip-flop. Do you see what's happening here, folks?
475 00:25:17,017 00:25:17,767 Help! Help!
476 00:25:18,393 00:25:19,434 Somebody! Somebody!
477 00:25:20,019 00:25:21,269 Hey, hey. Wait. Hey, hey. Wait.
478 00:25:21,353 00:25:24,397 And I've killed plenty of Zs with my massive hands. And I've killed plenty of Zs with my massive hands.
479 00:25:24,440 00:25:26,067 Binders of 'em. Binders of 'em.
480 00:25:26,107 00:25:27,027 Please! Please!
481 00:25:27,402 00:25:28,487 They're coming! They're coming!
482 00:25:28,528 00:25:30,529 Frankly, my hands are too large. Frankly, my hands are too large.
483 00:25:30,571 00:25:33,031 Will you shut up and let him speak. What's wrong? Will you shut up and let him speak. What's wrong?
484 00:25:33,073 00:25:35,451 The sickness, it killed them all. The sickness, it killed them all.
485 00:25:36,787 00:25:38,413 Everybody in Rosebud is dead. Everybody in Rosebud is dead.
486 00:25:38,579 00:25:39,497 Rosebud? Rosebud?
487 00:25:39,538 00:25:40,664 The nearest town. The nearest town.
488 00:25:40,707 00:25:42,708 It's our only source of water within a hundred miles. It's our only source of water within a hundred miles.
489 00:25:42,750 00:25:45,502 If something's happened to cut off our water supply... If something's happened to cut off our water supply...
490 00:25:45,545 00:25:48,212 The whole town's turned freaky Z! The whole town's turned freaky Z!
491 00:25:57,390 00:25:59,977 Mr. President, do something! Mr. President, do something!
492 00:26:01,894 00:26:07,025 This news is dire. But now is the time we stand together. This news is dire. But now is the time we stand together.
493 00:26:07,067 00:26:09,234 Nobody and nothing's gonna kill you. Nobody and nothing's gonna kill you.
494 00:26:10,112 00:26:12,071 Cuz I'm gonna kill 'em first! Cuz I'm gonna kill 'em first!
495 00:26:22,748 00:26:23,500 Look! Look!
496 00:26:30,589 00:26:31,464 I'll kill it! I'll kill it!
497 00:26:32,092 00:26:34,259 I'm gonna kill it even harder! I'm gonna kill it even harder!
498 00:26:35,595 00:26:37,721 Hey, if I don't come back, kill Lannister. Hey, if I don't come back, kill Lannister.
499 00:26:37,762 00:26:38,765 Happily. Happily.
500 00:26:47,772 00:26:48,775 Oh, wait. Oh, wait.
501 00:26:52,444 00:26:53,946 Hey. Hey.
502 00:27:01,369 00:27:02,747 I give you mercy. I give you mercy.
503 00:27:10,712 00:27:13,007 Idiots, come on! Idiots, come on!
504 00:27:20,682 00:27:22,932 A little help here, guys! A little help here, guys!
505 00:27:41,492 00:27:42,827 Doctor? Doctor?
506 00:27:44,829 00:27:45,998 He's gone. He's gone.
507 00:27:46,248 00:27:48,000 You can stop now. You can stop now.
508 00:27:57,384 00:27:59,386 Don't worry. You're safe. Don't worry. You're safe.
509 00:27:59,511 00:28:00,387 I killed him. I killed him.
510 00:28:00,430 00:28:03,849 Ladies and gentlemen. The President of the United States! Ladies and gentlemen. The President of the United States!
511 00:28:04,767 00:28:06,309 Oh, nah. It was nothing! Oh, nah. It was nothing!
512 00:28:06,352 00:28:09,188 I killed three of them in a single blow. I killed three of them in a single blow.
513 00:28:09,230 00:28:10,065 He's lying! He's lying!
514 00:28:10,106 00:28:12,400 And there's plenty more where that came from! And there's plenty more where that came from!
515 00:28:12,442 00:28:13,317 He's lying! He's lying!
516 00:28:13,357 00:28:15,528 Oh, come here. Come here. Oh, come here. Come here.
517 00:28:32,627 00:28:33,922 And remember, And remember,
518 00:28:34,212 00:28:36,714 no matter how much they beg... no matter how much they beg...
519 00:28:37,883 00:28:39,551 No mercy! No mercy!
520 00:29:00,823 00:29:03,116 God loves the idea of a wall. God loves the idea of a wall.
521 00:29:03,157 00:29:04,867 Admit it. You're soft on Zs. Admit it. You're soft on Zs.
522 00:29:04,910 00:29:09,207 You hear the way he says that? So glottal, as if he's foreign. You hear the way he says that? So glottal, as if he's foreign.
523 00:29:09,248 00:29:11,375 What about you, Mr. President? What about you, Mr. President?
524 00:29:11,416 00:29:13,292 Yes, my delicate dandelion? Yes, my delicate dandelion?
525 00:29:13,335 00:29:15,547 What have you done for this country? What have you done for this country?
526 00:29:15,587 00:29:18,048 If we still even have one left. If we still even have one left.
527 00:29:18,089 00:29:20,468 In all of this time, since day one, In all of this time, since day one,
528 00:29:20,509 00:29:22,553 not a single law has been passed. not a single law has been passed.
529 00:29:22,595 00:29:25,055 There's been no example of the government There's been no example of the government
530 00:29:25,096 00:29:26,722 making peoples' lives better. making peoples' lives better.
531 00:29:26,765 00:29:29,393 America has gone to the zombies. America has gone to the zombies.
532 00:29:29,434 00:29:33,606 So I ask you again, what have you done? So I ask you again, what have you done?
533 00:29:40,363 00:29:41,446 Umm. Umm.
534 00:29:41,823 00:29:44,907 When was the last time any of you paid taxes? When was the last time any of you paid taxes?
535 00:29:44,950 00:29:46,617 Thanks, Howell. You're welcome! Thanks, Howell. You're welcome!
536 00:29:51,457 00:29:53,542 Debate's over! Time to vote! Debate's over! Time to vote!
537 00:30:58,522 00:31:00,442 Hello? Hello?
538 00:31:28,553 00:31:30,472 Ugh. Ugh.
539 00:32:22,442 00:32:23,482 And in conclusion, And in conclusion,
540 00:32:23,525 00:32:26,444 a vote for me is a vote for the wall. a vote for me is a vote for the wall.
541 00:32:26,487 00:32:29,198 And a death knell to the zombie menace! And a death knell to the zombie menace!
542 00:32:29,448 00:32:30,450 Yeah. Yeah.
543 00:32:31,950 00:32:35,244 Do we want another four years like the last four years? Do we want another four years like the last four years?
544 00:32:35,287 00:32:37,248 I don't, and I don't think you do either. I don't, and I don't think you do either.
545 00:32:37,289 00:32:40,917 My opponent talks a big game. He talks a big game. My opponent talks a big game. He talks a big game.
546 00:32:40,960 00:32:45,255 I don't trust big game. What I trust are large holes. I don't trust big game. What I trust are large holes.
547 00:32:45,297 00:32:48,424 Large holes that zombies cannot climb out of. Large holes that zombies cannot climb out of.
548 00:32:48,467 00:32:50,428 And criminals that get eaten. And criminals that get eaten.
549 00:32:50,470 00:32:54,972 It's a twofer. So vote for me, John J. Lannister. It's a twofer. So vote for me, John J. Lannister.
550 00:32:55,015 00:32:56,267 Businessman. Businessman.
551 00:32:56,307 00:32:57,477 Patriot. Patriot.
552 00:32:58,143 00:32:59,311 And human. And human.
553 00:33:06,609 00:33:08,528 Listen to me, everybody! Listen to me, everybody!
554 00:33:08,569 00:33:10,321 Don't drink the water! Don't drink the water!
555 00:33:10,365 00:33:13,491 The reservoir in Rosebud was contaminated by a dead zombie. The reservoir in Rosebud was contaminated by a dead zombie.
556 00:33:13,532 00:33:15,827 The zombie's head was stuck in the water filter. The zombie's head was stuck in the water filter.
557 00:33:15,869 00:33:17,997 And God only knows what kind of poisons And God only knows what kind of poisons
558 00:33:18,038 00:33:19,957 are leaking into your water supply. are leaking into your water supply.
559 00:33:19,998 00:33:21,708 Just don't drink the water! Just don't drink the water!
560 00:33:21,750 00:33:25,127 That's our only source of water for hundreds of miles! That's our only source of water for hundreds of miles!
561 00:33:25,170 00:33:26,172 We'll die without it. We'll die without it.
562 00:33:26,212 00:33:28,007 You're already dying. You're already dying.
563 00:33:28,048 00:33:32,261 We're in the middle of nowhere. What are we supposed to do? We're in the middle of nowhere. What are we supposed to do?
564 00:33:38,017 00:33:38,727 I drank the water. I drank the water.
565 00:33:38,768 00:33:39,684 We drank it too! We drank it too!
566 00:33:39,727 00:33:42,396 Oh God, I think I can still taste zombie! Oh God, I think I can still taste zombie!
567 00:33:42,438 00:33:44,147 It's not the water. It can't be. It's not the water. It can't be.
568 00:33:44,190 00:33:47,317 Everyone's been drinking it, and not everyone is sick. Everyone's been drinking it, and not everyone is sick.
569 00:33:47,359 00:33:49,319 This zombie stuff is very unpredictable. This zombie stuff is very unpredictable.
570 00:33:49,362 00:33:51,654 Trust me. I've seen a lot of crazy shit. Trust me. I've seen a lot of crazy shit.
571 00:33:51,696 00:33:53,490 How do we know if you're right? How do we know if you're right?
572 00:33:53,531 00:33:56,867 What if you're wrong and we die of thirst when we have water? What if you're wrong and we die of thirst when we have water?
573 00:33:56,910 00:33:58,829 How disgustingly predictable! How disgustingly predictable!
574 00:33:58,872 00:34:00,329 In this time of strife, In this time of strife,
575 00:34:00,372 00:34:04,417 Howell and his cohorts are using fear tactics to manipulate you, Howell and his cohorts are using fear tactics to manipulate you,
576 00:34:04,460 00:34:05,836 the electorate. the electorate.
577 00:34:05,877 00:34:08,005 You, Sir, are an unelected bureaucrat. You, Sir, are an unelected bureaucrat.
578 00:34:08,047 00:34:10,842 And this is a prime example of government overreach. And this is a prime example of government overreach.
579 00:34:10,882 00:34:14,887 Okay? I say if the people want their water, let them have it. Okay? I say if the people want their water, let them have it.
580 00:34:14,927 00:34:17,181 Let the consumer decide. Am I right? Let the consumer decide. Am I right?
581 00:34:17,222 00:34:18,347 You're insane! You're insane!
582 00:34:18,389 00:34:20,349 I'm trying to help these people live. I'm trying to help these people live.
583 00:34:20,391 00:34:22,103 Mr. President? Mr. President?
584 00:34:22,144 00:34:23,394 What do you think? What do you think?
585 00:34:27,983 00:34:29,402 Doc. Doc.
586 00:34:30,902 00:34:32,487 There's no proof. There's no proof.
587 00:34:33,072 00:34:35,449 You haven't proven beyond a reasonable doubt You haven't proven beyond a reasonable doubt
588 00:34:35,492 00:34:38,994 that that water was poisoned. It still needs more study. that that water was poisoned. It still needs more study.
589 00:34:42,498 00:34:43,581 Doc. Doc.
590 00:34:44,125 00:34:46,001 Without the proof, it... Without the proof, it...
591 00:34:47,795 00:34:49,463 It wouldn't be prudent. It wouldn't be prudent.
592 00:34:50,632 00:34:52,342 Sorry, Doc. This is science. Sorry, Doc. This is science.
593 00:34:52,675 00:34:54,427 You know, screw you guys. You know, screw you guys.
594 00:34:54,467 00:34:57,429 If you all want to die, drink the water! If you all want to die, drink the water!
595 00:34:57,472 00:34:58,262 Mayor! Mayor!
596 00:34:59,514 00:35:02,099 Unfounded scientific intervention Unfounded scientific intervention
597 00:35:02,143 00:35:05,061 is how we ended up with the zombie apocalypse is how we ended up with the zombie apocalypse
598 00:35:05,103 00:35:06,355 in the first place. in the first place.
599 00:35:07,815 00:35:09,525 This is real. This is real.
600 00:35:09,942 00:35:11,485 These people are in danger. These people are in danger.
601 00:35:11,527 00:35:14,737 This is not another one of your cons. Be a decent person. This is not another one of your cons. Be a decent person.
602 00:35:14,780 00:35:16,614 Drop the act. Drop the act.
603 00:35:21,452 00:35:24,456 The vote, Sketchy. The loot. Come on. The vote, Sketchy. The loot. Come on.
604 00:35:28,501 00:35:30,128 Come on. Come on.
605 00:35:30,797 00:35:32,507 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
606 00:35:33,382 00:35:34,467 Wow. Wow.
607 00:35:36,342 00:35:40,514 Turn in your ballots, citizens. Polls are closed! Turn in your ballots, citizens. Polls are closed!
608 00:35:48,480 00:35:51,608 I don't know why you're working so hard. It's over. I don't know why you're working so hard. It's over.
609 00:35:51,650 00:35:54,027 We're dying. The whole world is dying. We're dying. The whole world is dying.
610 00:35:54,070 00:35:56,987 Maggie, there are people out there trying to help you. Maggie, there are people out there trying to help you.
611 00:35:57,030 00:35:58,322 Help everybody. Help everybody.
612 00:35:58,364 00:36:00,032 People you don't even know. People you don't even know.
613 00:36:00,074 00:36:04,163 All you got to do is stay alive and let them finish the job. All you got to do is stay alive and let them finish the job.
614 00:36:04,204 00:36:06,456 Now, if there's poison in your system, Now, if there's poison in your system,
615 00:36:06,498 00:36:10,711 this charcoal will bind to it and keep it from being absorbed this charcoal will bind to it and keep it from being absorbed
616 00:36:13,172 00:36:14,422 Will this work? Will this work?
617 00:36:14,547 00:36:17,552 I don't know. I saw it on "Naked and Afraid." I don't know. I saw it on "Naked and Afraid."
618 00:36:17,592 00:36:21,512 But it's worth a try. Sorry, it's not gonna taste very good. But it's worth a try. Sorry, it's not gonna taste very good.
619 00:36:23,222 00:36:24,724 Bon appétit. Bon appétit.
620 00:36:26,684 00:36:28,061 Maggie? Maggie?
621 00:36:28,436 00:36:29,605 Are you okay? Are you okay?
622 00:36:39,907 00:36:41,492 Hey. Hey.
623 00:36:41,532 00:36:43,159 I want to be a good person. It's just... I want to be a good person. It's just...
624 00:36:43,202 00:36:45,327 Then maybe you should be. Then maybe you should be.
625 00:36:45,369 00:36:47,248 And the first vote goes to... And the first vote goes to...
626 00:36:49,041 00:36:50,541 Stop the vote! Stop the vote!
627 00:36:52,711 00:36:55,547 These men are con artists! These men are con artists!
628 00:36:57,467 00:37:00,427 Uh oh. Z Partiers. Uh oh. Z Partiers.
629 00:37:08,936 00:37:10,394 Let me look at you. Let me look at you.
630 00:37:14,233 00:37:16,402 Hey, your eyes, they're starting to clear up. Hey, your eyes, they're starting to clear up.
631 00:37:16,443 00:37:18,902 I'm starting to feel more like myself. I'm starting to feel more like myself.
632 00:37:18,947 00:37:20,072 Yeah? Yeah?
633 00:37:20,487 00:37:21,989 The water. The water.
634 00:37:22,492 00:37:24,117 You were right. You were right.
635 00:37:25,242 00:37:27,244 Thanks to the zombies, Thanks to the zombies,
636 00:37:27,288 00:37:31,958 America is truly the land of the free and the home of the badass. America is truly the land of the free and the home of the badass.
637 00:37:32,335 00:37:34,670 There is no president here. There is no president here.
638 00:37:34,920 00:37:38,632 These men are treasonous charlatans. These men are treasonous charlatans.
639 00:37:38,672 00:37:41,467 They came in their limo, ripped off our town, They came in their limo, ripped off our town,
640 00:37:41,510 00:37:44,347 and took all our supplies as donations. and took all our supplies as donations.
641 00:37:46,097 00:37:49,101 What do you have to say for yourselves? What do you have to say for yourselves?
642 00:37:50,811 00:37:52,186 I say... I say...
643 00:37:59,777 00:38:04,449 I say you were never so happy as when we rode off with your shit. I say you were never so happy as when we rode off with your shit.
644 00:38:47,409 00:38:48,617 Politics as usual. Politics as usual.
645 00:38:52,581 00:38:54,458 I think we've outstayed our welcome. I think we've outstayed our welcome.
646 00:38:54,500 00:38:57,628 It's about time. Politics always makes me feel so dirty. It's about time. Politics always makes me feel so dirty.
647 00:39:09,012 00:39:11,557 Quit shooting at each other! We've got Zs! Quit shooting at each other! We've got Zs!
648 00:39:28,367 00:39:29,452 Gina! Tina! Gina! Tina!
649 00:39:30,617 00:39:31,369 Look out! Look out!
650 00:39:39,043 00:39:39,878 Yeah, time to go. Yeah, time to go.
651 00:39:39,920 00:39:41,505 Well what about the others? Well what about the others?
652 00:39:41,547 00:39:42,547 Lucy. Lucy.
653 00:39:45,717 00:39:47,010 They'll be okay. They'll be okay.
654 00:39:49,972 00:39:51,347 She's got it covered. She's got it covered.
655 00:39:51,389 00:39:52,347 Yeah, come on. Yeah, come on.
656 00:40:09,949 00:40:10,699 Let's go. Let's go! Let's go. Let's go!
657 00:40:10,742 00:40:11,784 Gina. Gina.
658 00:40:12,077 00:40:15,163 Tina. I can't leave without my Gitina. Tina. I can't leave without my Gitina.
659 00:40:20,126 00:40:21,628 Okay, we can go. Okay, we can go.
660 00:40:31,304 00:40:32,847 Doc! Addy! Wait up! Doc! Addy! Wait up!
661 00:40:34,307 00:40:35,099 Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
662 00:41:01,293 00:41:02,251 My stuff! My stuff!
663 00:41:05,882 00:41:06,632 Oh! Oh!
664 00:41:06,672 00:41:07,465 Woo! Woo!
665 00:41:08,092 00:41:09,050 You wanna get involved? You wanna get involved?
666 00:41:09,510 00:41:11,137 Nah. I hate politics. Nah. I hate politics.
667 00:41:27,862 00:41:29,280 Hey, covergirl. Hey, covergirl.
668 00:41:29,322 00:41:32,407 What happened to staying well- groomed during the Apocalypse? What happened to staying well- groomed during the Apocalypse?
669 00:41:34,409 00:41:36,119 Nevermind. Shutting up. Nevermind. Shutting up.
670 00:41:36,161 00:41:37,411 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
671 00:41:38,579 00:41:40,706 Can we just find Lucy, Can we just find Lucy,
672 00:41:40,748 00:41:44,085 make the vaccine, and get this Apocalypse over with? make the vaccine, and get this Apocalypse over with?
673 00:41:58,349 00:42:03,396 Here's the last of the charcoal. Crazy. But somehow it works. Here's the last of the charcoal. Crazy. But somehow it works.
674 00:42:03,605 00:42:05,273 Here you go. Here you go.
675 00:42:14,032 00:42:15,199 You moving on? You moving on?
676 00:42:15,242 00:42:17,827 Can't stay here. But we can stay together. Can't stay here. But we can stay together.
677 00:42:17,869 00:42:19,371 You should come with us. You should come with us.
678 00:42:19,913 00:42:21,748 Who won the election, anyway? Who won the election, anyway?
679 00:42:22,248 00:42:24,460 Everyone wrote in the same thing. Everyone wrote in the same thing.
680 00:42:24,876 00:42:26,878 That weed doctor. That weed doctor.