# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:01,315 00:00:03,107 Welcome to "Everlasting." Welcome to "Everlasting."
2 00:00:03,117 00:00:04,708 Let's go, people. Let's go, people.
3 00:00:04,718 00:00:07,252 I want nudity, 911 calls, cat fights. I want nudity, 911 calls, cat fights.
4 00:00:07,288 00:00:09,313 Get me some good TV. Get me some good TV.
5 00:00:09,323 00:00:10,981 Your suitor, Adam Cromwell! Your suitor, Adam Cromwell!
6 00:00:10,991 00:00:13,556 There's a lot of eyes on you. You're the first black suitor. There's a lot of eyes on you. You're the first black suitor.
7 00:00:13,567 00:00:15,204 I need my dragon. I need my dragon.
8 00:00:15,215 00:00:17,173 I create conditions for things to happen. I create conditions for things to happen.
9 00:00:17,184 00:00:20,324 Listen to everything I say and just repeat after me. Listen to everything I say and just repeat after me.
10 00:00:20,334 00:00:21,659 Will you marry me? Will you marry me?
11 00:00:21,669 00:00:23,059 Love is swell... Love is swell...
12 00:00:23,069 00:00:24,952 but it is not something you build a life around. but it is not something you build a life around.
13 00:00:24,963 00:00:26,280 How many times have you made me How many times have you made me
14 00:00:26,291 00:00:27,998 look like a fool in front of these people? look like a fool in front of these people?
15 00:00:28,008 00:00:30,300 You want to demote me? You demote me to my face. You want to demote me? You demote me to my face.
16 00:00:32,578 00:00:34,637 - Are you taking your meds? - Don't do that, Mom. - Are you taking your meds? - Don't do that, Mom.
17 00:00:34,647 00:00:35,972 I'm sorry you feel judged. I'm sorry you feel judged.
18 00:00:35,982 00:00:37,373 - So it's okay. - Don't shrink me. - So it's okay. - Don't shrink me.
19 00:00:37,383 00:00:38,958 You want to come home with me? You want to come home with me?
20 00:00:38,969 00:00:40,376 Quinn, what is it? Quinn, what is it?
21 00:00:40,386 00:00:41,977 You want kids, and I can't have them. You want kids, and I can't have them.
22 00:00:41,987 00:00:43,979 I won't be anybody's disappointment. I won't be anybody's disappointment.
23 00:00:43,989 00:00:46,382 Chet? What the hell are you doing here? Chet? What the hell are you doing here?
24 00:00:46,392 00:00:48,250 I'm taking my kingdom back. I'm taking my kingdom back.
25 00:00:48,260 00:00:49,819 What in the hell are you guys doing? What in the hell are you guys doing?
26 00:00:49,829 00:00:51,271 I'm putting someone else in charge. I'm putting someone else in charge.
27 00:00:51,282 00:00:53,055 Coleman Wasserman, come in here please. Coleman Wasserman, come in here please.
28 00:00:53,065 00:00:55,057 He is the one in charge now. He is the one in charge now.
29 00:00:55,067 00:00:56,758 I'm not gonna let you touch this place. I'm not gonna let you touch this place.
30 00:00:56,768 00:00:58,660 I'm a reporter. That woman Mary, I'm a reporter. That woman Mary,
31 00:00:58,670 00:01:00,930 who jumped off the roof last year, that was a murder. who jumped off the roof last year, that was a murder.
32 00:01:00,940 00:01:03,866 Coleman knows about Mary, and he's about to expose us. Coleman knows about Mary, and he's about to expose us.
33 00:01:03,876 00:01:05,428 Right now, we really have to stop him. Right now, we really have to stop him.
34 00:01:05,439 00:01:07,415 You don't ever have to worry about them again. You don't ever have to worry about them again.
35 00:01:07,426 00:01:08,759 I told you I'd do anything. I told you I'd do anything.
36 00:01:09,980 00:01:11,997 We have live breaking news at 11:00. We have live breaking news at 11:00.
37 00:01:12,008 00:01:14,469 Emergency crews are on the scene of a single-car accident Emergency crews are on the scene of a single-car accident
38 00:01:14,480 00:01:16,247 at Baywood Canyon Road. at Baywood Canyon Road.
39 00:01:17,808 00:01:20,449 Lies are what kill us. Lies are what kill us.
40 00:01:20,459 00:01:24,919 The stress of keeping up those lies is poison. The stress of keeping up those lies is poison.
41 00:01:24,929 00:01:29,398 Every lie we tell is one step closer to the grave. Every lie we tell is one step closer to the grave.
42 00:01:49,119 00:01:50,778 Rachel! Rachel!
43 00:01:50,788 00:01:52,354 Surprise! Surprise!
44 00:01:53,591 00:01:57,651 So, this is what you've been doing for the past six months? So, this is what you've been doing for the past six months?
45 00:01:57,661 00:02:00,988 Floating in the water and tending goats? Floating in the water and tending goats?
46 00:02:00,998 00:02:03,056 Yeah, I'm, uh... Yeah, I'm, uh...
47 00:02:03,066 00:02:05,492 I'm committed to this healing practice I'm committed to this healing practice
48 00:02:05,502 00:02:07,327 called "Essential Honesty." called "Essential Honesty."
49 00:02:07,337 00:02:08,661 What? What?
50 00:02:08,671 00:02:12,673 I mean, I'm doing my own version of it, but it's like, no lies... ever. I mean, I'm doing my own version of it, but it's like, no lies... ever.
51 00:02:13,843 00:02:16,436 Wait. Is that really what you thought your problem was? Wait. Is that really what you thought your problem was?
52 00:02:16,446 00:02:17,516 Lying? Lying?
53 00:02:19,416 00:02:22,909 When I first got here, I was just producing people all the time. When I first got here, I was just producing people all the time.
54 00:02:22,919 00:02:25,620 Manipulating them into giving me what I wanted. Manipulating them into giving me what I wanted.
55 00:02:29,859 00:02:31,250 It's part of my program. It's part of my program.
56 00:02:31,260 00:02:33,152 I write down all the lies I've ever told. I write down all the lies I've ever told.
57 00:02:33,162 00:02:36,455 Then I tally up the days that I've been lie-free. Then I tally up the days that I've been lie-free.
58 00:02:36,465 00:02:38,925 I'm on a sober streak. I'm on a sober streak.
59 00:02:38,935 00:02:43,162 Huh. Well, that's interesting. Huh. Well, that's interesting.
60 00:02:43,172 00:02:46,365 But, um... But, um...
61 00:02:46,375 00:02:48,801 I have a better idea. I have a better idea.
62 00:02:48,811 00:02:53,972 Quinn, look, I know that we said six months, but... Quinn, look, I know that we said six months, but...
63 00:02:53,982 00:02:55,340 I'm in a really good place. I'm in a really good place.
64 00:02:55,350 00:02:56,809 Well, I'm not. Well, I'm not.
65 00:02:56,819 00:03:00,512 "Everlasting" is about to be canceled for real. "Everlasting" is about to be canceled for real.
66 00:03:00,522 00:03:01,847 What? What?
67 00:03:01,857 00:03:03,982 Yes. They can't get any advertisers Yes. They can't get any advertisers
68 00:03:03,992 00:03:06,217 because of the whole PR nightmare last season. because of the whole PR nightmare last season.
69 00:03:06,227 00:03:09,387 I mean, people who used to dry-hump my leg at parties I mean, people who used to dry-hump my leg at parties
70 00:03:09,397 00:03:11,656 now won't even call me back. now won't even call me back.
71 00:03:11,666 00:03:14,392 I need "Everlasting" to be back up and running I need "Everlasting" to be back up and running
72 00:03:14,402 00:03:16,569 so that I can build my empire. so that I can build my empire.
73 00:03:23,544 00:03:25,570 Fine. Fine.
74 00:03:25,580 00:03:26,846 You want me to say it? You want me to say it?
75 00:03:31,218 00:03:32,852 I need you. I need you.
76 00:03:35,089 00:03:36,514 I miss you. I miss you.
77 00:03:44,060 00:03:46,822 - Synced and corrected by Shazi89 - - www.addic7ed.com - - Synced and corrected by Shazi89 - - www.addic7ed.com -
78 00:03:46,833 00:03:48,892 She's the female Elon Musk. She's the female Elon Musk.
79 00:03:48,902 00:03:51,695 She's hot, sexy, smart, She's hot, sexy, smart,
80 00:03:51,705 00:03:53,364 but single. but single.
81 00:03:53,374 00:03:55,607 It's a plague of our generation. It's a plague of our generation.
82 00:03:59,345 00:04:01,771 Women like her, they do everything right... Women like her, they do everything right...
83 00:04:01,781 00:04:04,007 got banging careers, got banging careers,
84 00:04:04,017 00:04:05,575 they've been on every dating app... they've been on every dating app...
85 00:04:05,585 00:04:07,844 but the more successful they get, but the more successful they get,
86 00:04:07,854 00:04:10,279 the harder it is to find the right guy. the harder it is to find the right guy.
87 00:04:10,289 00:04:12,382 - Sounds depressing. - More like real. - Sounds depressing. - More like real.
88 00:04:12,392 00:04:15,618 This is the truth of the world out there. This is the truth of the world out there.
89 00:04:15,628 00:04:17,628 This could finally be our Emmy. This could finally be our Emmy.
90 00:04:19,298 00:04:21,891 - An Emmy? - How about we just make our days? - An Emmy? - How about we just make our days?
91 00:04:21,901 00:04:24,127 Or how about we start with something simple, like, Or how about we start with something simple, like,
92 00:04:24,137 00:04:26,562 I- I don't know, nobody dies. I- I don't know, nobody dies.
93 00:04:26,572 00:04:27,763 How about that? How about that?
94 00:04:27,773 00:04:29,698 Serena is our girl. Serena is our girl.
95 00:04:29,708 00:04:31,366 She's the feminist suitress. She's the feminist suitress.
96 00:04:31,376 00:04:33,869 - Feminist? - Okay, listen, Gary. - Feminist? - Okay, listen, Gary.
97 00:04:33,879 00:04:36,605 I know the brass upstairs is busting your balls I know the brass upstairs is busting your balls
98 00:04:36,615 00:04:37,973 about all this pink-hat, about all this pink-hat,
99 00:04:37,983 00:04:40,075 female-empowerment crap and quotas. female-empowerment crap and quotas.
100 00:04:40,085 00:04:41,911 Serena ticks off a lot of boxes. Serena ticks off a lot of boxes.
101 00:04:41,921 00:04:43,612 I can get them off your back. I can get them off your back.
102 00:04:43,622 00:04:46,114 You do realize that your career's on life support, right? You do realize that your career's on life support, right?
103 00:04:46,124 00:04:48,417 - Yes, Gary. - But we covered for you. - Yes, Gary. - But we covered for you.
104 00:04:48,427 00:04:50,919 We let you throw Wagerstein under the bus. We let you throw Wagerstein under the bus.
105 00:04:50,929 00:04:54,089 But people like you cannot make the same mistake twice. But people like you cannot make the same mistake twice.
106 00:04:54,099 00:04:56,591 You mean women like me. You mean women like me.
107 00:04:56,601 00:04:59,094 Chet can live his life like a walking bozo parade... Chet can live his life like a walking bozo parade...
108 00:04:59,104 00:05:00,728 - Hey. Hey! - But me, I'm one and done. - Hey. Hey! - But me, I'm one and done.
109 00:05:00,738 00:05:03,164 All right, all right, right. Listen, it's a go. All right, all right, right. Listen, it's a go.
110 00:05:03,174 00:05:05,900 But if this goes south, like last year, But if this goes south, like last year,
111 00:05:05,910 00:05:07,443 you're fired. you're fired.
112 00:05:10,982 00:05:13,007 An Emmy? Nice touch. An Emmy? Nice touch.
113 00:05:13,017 00:05:15,595 I meant it, Quinn. I got to start thinking what I'm leaving I meant it, Quinn. I got to start thinking what I'm leaving
114 00:05:15,606 00:05:18,512 behind for my son, especially since I can't see him since the, uh... behind for my son, especially since I can't see him since the, uh...
115 00:05:18,522 00:05:20,081 You kidnapped him? You kidnapped him?
116 00:05:20,091 00:05:23,451 I want him to know what I did with my life. I want him to know what I did with my life.
117 00:05:23,461 00:05:26,153 - Okay. - Hey, guys. - Okay. - Hey, guys.
118 00:05:26,163 00:05:27,955 What about Maddie? You bringing her back? What about Maddie? You bringing her back?
119 00:05:27,965 00:05:30,265 Why do you care about Madison? Why do you care about Madison?
120 00:05:32,336 00:05:33,860 Ugh, you didn't. Ugh, you didn't.
121 00:05:33,870 00:05:35,329 Maddie's the future, Quinn. Maddie's the future, Quinn.
122 00:05:35,339 00:05:37,330 You need her. You need her.
123 00:05:37,340 00:05:40,575 Great. Thanks, Gary. Great. Thanks, Gary.
124 00:05:51,634 00:05:53,946 You shouldn't have worn shorts. Get off of channel 1. You shouldn't have worn shorts. Get off of channel 1.
125 00:05:53,956 00:05:56,483 Hey, Rach. How's it going? Hey, Rach. How's it going?
126 00:05:56,493 00:05:58,184 Oh, kind of freaking out. Oh, kind of freaking out.
127 00:05:58,194 00:06:00,353 Ooh, I can't breathe. Ooh, I can't breathe.
128 00:06:00,363 00:06:01,795 And I've got my period. And I've got my period.
129 00:06:01,806 00:06:03,436 - It's pretty heavy, actually. - Gross. - It's pretty heavy, actually. - Gross.
130 00:06:03,447 00:06:05,639 Yeah, but you know what? I'm gonna be fine. I'm gonna make it through. Yeah, but you know what? I'm gonna be fine. I'm gonna make it through.
131 00:06:05,650 00:06:07,860 - I always do. - Cool, it's nice to see you, too. - I always do. - Cool, it's nice to see you, too.
132 00:06:07,870 00:06:09,294 - I need you to... - It's not. - I need you to... - It's not.
133 00:06:09,304 00:06:11,063 - It's not what? - Nice to see me. - It's not what? - Nice to see me.
134 00:06:11,073 00:06:12,730 Dan, come on. Let's just cut the crap. Dan, come on. Let's just cut the crap.
135 00:06:12,741 00:06:14,399 Let's just be totally honest, okay? Let's just be totally honest, okay?
136 00:06:14,409 00:06:16,301 - Okay. - We can't stand each other. - Okay. - We can't stand each other.
137 00:06:16,311 00:06:17,637 I wouldn't say that. I mean... I wouldn't say that. I mean...
138 00:06:17,647 00:06:21,091 Just tell the truth. It's gonna make you feel so much better, I swear. Just tell the truth. It's gonna make you feel so much better, I swear.
139 00:06:21,684 00:06:23,042 Okay, all right, yeah. Okay, all right, yeah.
140 00:06:23,052 00:06:26,077 It's, uh... It's kind of terrifying to see you. It's, uh... It's kind of terrifying to see you.
141 00:06:26,087 00:06:27,646 - Right? - Totally stresses me out. - Right? - Totally stresses me out.
142 00:06:27,656 00:06:28,833 - Right? See? - Yeah. - Right? See? - Yeah.
143 00:06:28,844 00:06:30,525 Okay, great. This is great. Let's keep this up. Okay, great. This is great. Let's keep this up.
144 00:06:30,536 00:06:31,750 It does feel good. It does feel good.
145 00:06:31,760 00:06:33,218 - I could actually... - Is that... - I could actually... - Is that...
146 00:06:33,228 00:06:34,586 Is that "Essential Honesty"? Is that "Essential Honesty"?
147 00:06:34,596 00:06:36,888 That... Do... Do it on me. Do it on me. That... Do... Do it on me. Do it on me.
148 00:06:36,898 00:06:38,423 No, Chet. It's not a party trick. No, Chet. It's not a party trick.
149 00:06:38,433 00:06:39,758 It's my life. It's my life.
150 00:06:39,768 00:06:41,826 Come on, little weirdo. Come on, little weirdo.
151 00:06:41,836 00:06:44,428 Don't call me that, please. Don't call me that, please.
152 00:06:44,438 00:06:46,597 What, "little weirdo"? It's a term of endearment. What, "little weirdo"? It's a term of endearment.
153 00:06:46,607 00:06:49,233 Okay, well, it's not funny 'cause it flips me out. Okay, well, it's not funny 'cause it flips me out.
154 00:06:49,243 00:06:51,536 Come on. I want to know what you think about me. Come on. I want to know what you think about me.
155 00:06:51,546 00:06:53,271 Tell me the truth. Tell me the truth.
156 00:06:54,883 00:06:57,341 Fine. Um... Fine. Um...
157 00:06:57,351 00:07:00,378 you are an overpaid, uh, incompetent man-baby you are an overpaid, uh, incompetent man-baby
158 00:07:00,388 00:07:01,779 who's riding on the backs of women who's riding on the backs of women
159 00:07:01,789 00:07:03,714 who do all of your work for you. who do all of your work for you.
160 00:07:03,724 00:07:06,184 You're too dumb to know how pathetic it is You're too dumb to know how pathetic it is
161 00:07:06,194 00:07:09,253 that we had to use you to push Serena through to the network that we had to use you to push Serena through to the network
162 00:07:09,263 00:07:11,622 just because you were born with a dick. just because you were born with a dick.
163 00:07:11,632 00:07:14,425 And I never understood what Quinn saw in your fat, sweaty, And I never understood what Quinn saw in your fat, sweaty,
164 00:07:14,435 00:07:16,894 drug-addled ass, but whatever it was, drug-addled ass, but whatever it was,
165 00:07:16,904 00:07:18,962 you wasted the best years of her life you wasted the best years of her life
166 00:07:18,972 00:07:21,765 and destroyed the one person who is ever gonna care about you. and destroyed the one person who is ever gonna care about you.
167 00:07:21,775 00:07:23,901 Hey, Rachel! Hey, Rachel!
168 00:07:23,911 00:07:26,044 So, that's the truth. So, that's the truth.
169 00:07:28,949 00:07:31,441 I'm gonna go get my walkie now. I'm gonna go get my walkie now.
170 00:07:31,451 00:07:34,578 Get back to work! Stop standing around! Get back to work! Stop standing around!
171 00:07:34,588 00:07:36,879 Don't worry about it, okay? Don't worry about it, okay?
172 00:07:36,889 00:07:39,749 It's just a phase. She'll be out of it in a week. It's just a phase. She'll be out of it in a week.
173 00:07:39,759 00:07:43,160 Hope she doesn't kill somebody between now and then. Hope she doesn't kill somebody between now and then.
174 00:07:45,098 00:07:46,456 Oh, hey, Rachel, listen, I... Oh, hey, Rachel, listen, I...
175 00:07:46,466 00:07:47,869 Five minutes, Graham. Five minutes. Five minutes, Graham. Five minutes.
176 00:07:47,880 00:07:49,382 - Thank you, Rachel. - You're welcome. - Thank you, Rachel. - You're welcome.
177 00:07:49,393 00:07:51,211 - Hey, Quinn. - Graham, just the Spanx on. - Hey, Quinn. - Graham, just the Spanx on.
178 00:07:51,222 00:07:53,378 - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Hey, loose cannon. - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Hey, loose cannon.
179 00:07:53,389 00:07:55,631 Um, would you like to explain to me Um, would you like to explain to me
180 00:07:55,641 00:07:57,433 what the hell happened out there? what the hell happened out there?
181 00:07:57,443 00:07:59,936 That was just the cleansing fire of truth. That was just the cleansing fire of truth.
182 00:07:59,946 00:08:01,570 - Oh, okay. - Mm. - Oh, okay. - Mm.
183 00:08:01,580 00:08:05,073 Well, I am going to need you to get your shit together Well, I am going to need you to get your shit together
184 00:08:05,083 00:08:07,075 because Chet is still your boss, because Chet is still your boss,
185 00:08:07,085 00:08:08,644 and, like it or not, Gary trusts him. and, like it or not, Gary trusts him.
186 00:08:08,654 00:08:10,346 - Of course he does. - And look, - Of course he does. - And look,
187 00:08:10,356 00:08:13,649 I really appreciate you standing up for me back there, I really appreciate you standing up for me back there,
188 00:08:13,659 00:08:15,618 seriously, but I'm fine. seriously, but I'm fine.
189 00:08:15,628 00:08:17,394 I'm fine, too. I'm fine, too.
190 00:08:18,797 00:08:19,929 Okay. Okay.
191 00:08:20,633 00:08:21,823 Jay! Jay!
192 00:08:21,833 00:08:23,933 Hi! Hi!
193 00:08:25,575 00:08:26,826 - Hi. - Wow! - Hi. - Wow!
194 00:08:26,837 00:08:28,964 They, like, really did a number on you at that cult. They, like, really did a number on you at that cult.
195 00:08:28,974 00:08:30,531 It's not a cult. It's a farm. It's not a cult. It's a farm.
196 00:08:30,541 00:08:32,768 It's the same thing. Rachel, it's the same thing. It's the same thing. Rachel, it's the same thing.
197 00:08:32,778 00:08:34,225 - Hey, welcome home, by the way. - It's a cult. - Hey, welcome home, by the way. - It's a cult.
198 00:08:34,236 00:08:35,798 I set up our meeting for that pitch, so, I set up our meeting for that pitch, so,
199 00:08:35,814 00:08:37,842 as soon as we're up and running, let me know what you got. as soon as we're up and running, let me know what you got.
200 00:08:37,853 00:08:38,939 Great. Great.
201 00:08:38,949 00:08:40,341 The pitch? The pitch?
202 00:08:40,351 00:08:42,042 Daddy's getting on up out of here, girl. Daddy's getting on up out of here, girl.
203 00:08:42,052 00:08:43,478 What's the show about? What's the show about?
204 00:08:43,488 00:08:45,380 Not a clue. Not a clue.
205 00:08:46,658 00:08:48,115 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
206 00:08:48,125 00:08:49,350 Is that Madison? Is that Madison?
207 00:08:49,360 00:08:50,618 What happened to the pigtails? What happened to the pigtails?
208 00:08:50,628 00:08:52,820 Did you hear she sold a pilot? Did you hear she sold a pilot?
209 00:08:52,830 00:08:54,221 - Slut. - Slut. - Slut. - Slut.
210 00:08:54,231 00:08:55,499 Rachel. Rachel.
211 00:08:55,510 00:08:57,683 - I'll see you later. - Suitress is on the driveway. - I'll see you later. - Suitress is on the driveway.
212 00:09:03,007 00:09:04,564 Serena. Serena.
213 00:09:04,574 00:09:06,000 - Hey. - Hi. - Hey. - Hi.
214 00:09:06,010 00:09:08,836 So good to see you again. I just... I... So good to see you again. I just... I...
215 00:09:08,846 00:09:10,504 I honestly can't even believe you're here. I honestly can't even believe you're here.
216 00:09:10,514 00:09:13,005 - You're such a catch. We're so lucky. - God, really? - You're such a catch. We're so lucky. - God, really?
217 00:09:13,016 00:09:15,639 Yeah. Let's leave the bags here. Someone will come get them. Yeah. Let's leave the bags here. Someone will come get them.
218 00:09:15,650 00:09:18,845 I mean, you're investing in every single start-up that's, I mean, you're investing in every single start-up that's,
219 00:09:18,855 00:09:21,047 I think, gonna change the world. I think, gonna change the world.
220 00:09:21,057 00:09:22,582 I... Fingers crossed. I... Fingers crossed.
221 00:09:22,592 00:09:24,351 - You are very sweet. - Yeah. - You are very sweet. - Yeah.
222 00:09:24,361 00:09:26,353 Oh, I can't believe I'm actually here. Oh, I can't believe I'm actually here.
223 00:09:26,363 00:09:29,856 I'm putting my career on hold for six weeks, but I just... I'm putting my career on hold for six weeks, but I just...
224 00:09:29,866 00:09:31,891 I just decided that it is the best way I just decided that it is the best way
225 00:09:31,901 00:09:33,827 to maximize my dating flow. to maximize my dating flow.
226 00:09:34,795 00:09:36,487 Super romantic. Super romantic.
227 00:09:36,498 00:09:38,198 Oh, you know, I'm just being practical. Oh, you know, I'm just being practical.
228 00:09:38,208 00:09:41,734 Hey, before we go in there, how does this work? Hey, before we go in there, how does this work?
229 00:09:41,744 00:09:44,370 Do you guys... You give me head shots and résumés on the guys? Do you guys... You give me head shots and résumés on the guys?
230 00:09:44,380 00:09:47,251 Oh, no, no. We just pick them for you. It's old-school, yenta-style. Oh, no, no. We just pick them for you. It's old-school, yenta-style.
231 00:09:47,262 00:09:48,941 - Okay, seriously? - Seriously. - Okay, seriously? - Seriously.
232 00:09:48,951 00:09:51,076 I don't get to Google them, or, you know, I don't get to Google them, or, you know,
233 00:09:51,086 00:09:53,415 Facebook-stalk their last five girlfriends or anything? Facebook-stalk their last five girlfriends or anything?
234 00:09:53,426 00:09:54,912 - Hey... - One second. Thanks so much. - Hey... - One second. Thanks so much.
235 00:09:54,923 00:09:56,281 Yep. Yep.
236 00:09:56,291 00:09:58,177 Um, you don't seem like a bullshitter. Um, you don't seem like a bullshitter.
237 00:09:58,188 00:09:59,719 I'm currently not. I'm currently not.
238 00:09:59,729 00:10:01,519 Okay, good. Okay, good.
239 00:10:01,529 00:10:02,963 I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're here.
240 00:10:04,066 00:10:05,332 Rachel. Rachel.
241 00:10:08,203 00:10:10,295 Uh... nap time. Uh... nap time.
242 00:10:10,305 00:10:12,184 Let's go, lady. Let's go. Let's go, lady. Let's go.
243 00:10:12,195 00:10:14,074 Can we talk for a second? Can we talk for a second?
244 00:10:16,044 00:10:17,869 What the hell is Jeremy doing here? What the hell is Jeremy doing here?
245 00:10:17,879 00:10:19,623 Not blowing up our lives. Not blowing up our lives.
246 00:10:19,634 00:10:20,920 Really? Speak for yourself. Really? Speak for yourself.
247 00:10:20,931 00:10:23,274 Rachel... we have to keep him close. Rachel... we have to keep him close.
248 00:10:23,284 00:10:24,642 He's a liability out there. He's a liability out there.
249 00:10:24,652 00:10:26,745 No, Quinn, he is a liability in here. No, Quinn, he is a liability in here.
250 00:10:26,755 00:10:27,945 Come in. Come in.
251 00:10:27,955 00:10:29,914 Rachel. Rachel.
252 00:10:29,924 00:10:31,716 Just hear me out, okay? Just hear me out, okay?
253 00:10:31,726 00:10:34,285 I know there's no excuse for how I was last season. I know there's no excuse for how I was last season.
254 00:10:34,295 00:10:36,787 But I'm... I'm sober. But I'm... I'm sober.
255 00:10:36,797 00:10:38,822 And I've been through anger-management classes, And I've been through anger-management classes,
256 00:10:38,832 00:10:41,259 and I'm just so sorry. and I'm just so sorry.
257 00:10:41,269 00:10:43,633 Hitting you is the worst thing that I've ever done. Hitting you is the worst thing that I've ever done.
258 00:10:43,644 00:10:44,929 That's the worst thing you've ever done?! That's the worst thing you've ever done?!
259 00:10:44,940 00:10:46,797 Hey! Okay, okay, okay! Enough. Hey! Okay, okay, okay! Enough.
260 00:10:46,807 00:10:50,333 Perception is reality. Perception is reality.
261 00:10:50,343 00:10:52,503 And right now, the perception is And right now, the perception is
262 00:10:52,513 00:10:56,306 that there was a terrible car crash at the end of last season. that there was a terrible car crash at the end of last season.
263 00:10:56,316 00:10:58,582 So, that is what happened. So, that is what happened.
264 00:10:58,593 00:11:03,491 It was an accident, and we are all in this together. It was an accident, and we are all in this together.
265 00:11:03,502 00:11:05,314 And I've been thinking about this, and... And I've been thinking about this, and...
266 00:11:06,993 00:11:09,560 I think we need a pact, something binding. I think we need a pact, something binding.
267 00:11:11,464 00:11:13,156 - A blood oath. - No, that is ridiculous. - A blood oath. - No, that is ridiculous.
268 00:11:13,166 00:11:16,259 Hey, listen, we got to do something so little weirdo Hey, listen, we got to do something so little weirdo
269 00:11:16,269 00:11:19,529 and her "Essential Honesty" doesn't destroy all of us. and her "Essential Honesty" doesn't destroy all of us.
270 00:11:19,539 00:11:20,919 This isn't even hygienic. This isn't even hygienic.
271 00:11:20,930 00:11:23,013 Hygienic? You want to go to jail? Hygienic? You want to go to jail?
272 00:11:32,184 00:11:33,275 Fine. Fine.
273 00:11:37,957 00:11:39,348 I'm in. I'm in.
274 00:11:40,625 00:11:42,017 You're insane, Chet. You're insane, Chet.
275 00:11:42,027 00:11:44,519 This works, Quinn. Bring it in. This works, Quinn. Bring it in.
276 00:11:46,565 00:11:53,628 We vow to stay essentially silent about this one thing. We vow to stay essentially silent about this one thing.
277 00:11:53,638 00:11:55,472 Rachel, Serena won't go to set. Rachel, Serena won't go to set.
278 00:11:59,711 00:12:01,002 This color is fabulous. This color is fabulous.
279 00:12:01,012 00:12:02,136 Great job. Get out. Great job. Get out.
280 00:12:02,146 00:12:03,580 Okay. Okay.
281 00:12:05,750 00:12:07,476 I look like a stripper mermaid. I look like a stripper mermaid.
282 00:12:07,486 00:12:09,978 What? Are you kidding me? You look amazing. What? Are you kidding me? You look amazing.
283 00:12:09,988 00:12:12,180 I'd bang you standing up if I swung that way. I'd bang you standing up if I swung that way.
284 00:12:12,190 00:12:13,747 Rachel, tell the truth. Rachel, tell the truth.
285 00:12:13,757 00:12:16,025 Do I or do I not look like a stripper mermaid? Do I or do I not look like a stripper mermaid?
286 00:12:19,959 00:12:22,495 I mean, this is how all the girls on these shows dress, okay? I mean, this is how all the girls on these shows dress, okay?
287 00:12:22,506 00:12:23,757 Sequins pop. Sequins pop.
288 00:12:23,767 00:12:25,726 Cleavage communicates a certain... Cleavage communicates a certain...
289 00:12:25,737 00:12:29,405 willingness to participate in the process. willingness to participate in the process.
290 00:12:30,207 00:12:32,833 No. I brought my own dress. I'll wear that. No. I brought my own dress. I'll wear that.
291 00:12:32,843 00:12:35,603 That'd be great, if you were accepting the Nobel Prize, That'd be great, if you were accepting the Nobel Prize,
292 00:12:35,613 00:12:37,170 not trying to catch a husband. not trying to catch a husband.
293 00:12:37,180 00:12:39,051 Okay, I don't even know how to talk to people Okay, I don't even know how to talk to people
294 00:12:39,062 00:12:40,574 with my tits out this far. with my tits out this far.
295 00:12:40,584 00:12:41,876 Well, good news... Well, good news...
296 00:12:41,886 00:12:43,819 No one's gonna be listening. Just staring. No one's gonna be listening. Just staring.
297 00:12:45,455 00:12:47,047 Come on, Rachel. Come on, Rachel.
298 00:12:51,061 00:12:53,420 Ugh. I can't believe I let you talk me into her. Ugh. I can't believe I let you talk me into her.
299 00:12:53,430 00:12:56,023 Garage door down. Garage door down.
300 00:12:56,033 00:12:57,092 Who's this guy? Who's this guy?
301 00:12:57,103 00:12:59,426 Oh yes. Oh yes.
302 00:12:59,436 00:13:00,760 Hello, everybody. Hello, everybody.
303 00:13:00,770 00:13:02,529 This is Dr. Simon. This is Dr. Simon.
304 00:13:02,539 00:13:04,463 He is our new shrink. He is our new shrink.
305 00:13:04,473 00:13:07,066 He's a little more qualified than Wag. He's a little more qualified than Wag.
306 00:13:07,076 00:13:08,535 Enjoy him, please. Enjoy him, please.
307 00:13:08,545 00:13:10,021 Yeah, okay, cameras in place already. Yeah, okay, cameras in place already.
308 00:13:10,032 00:13:11,704 - How do I look? - Yeah, you look great. - How do I look? - Yeah, you look great.
309 00:13:11,715 00:13:13,606 - You got your Spanx on, right? - All right. - You got your Spanx on, right? - All right.
310 00:13:13,625 00:13:15,775 You are fat. That's why you're wearing a corset. You are fat. That's why you're wearing a corset.
311 00:13:15,785 00:13:17,410 On your call, madam. On your call, madam.
312 00:13:17,420 00:13:19,912 Are we ready to get this sausage party started, people? Are we ready to get this sausage party started, people?
313 00:13:19,922 00:13:21,247 - Whoo. - Yeah. - Whoo. - Yeah.
314 00:13:21,257 00:13:24,083 May they all be blessed with thick dicks May they all be blessed with thick dicks
315 00:13:24,093 00:13:26,652 and even thicker heads of hair. and even thicker heads of hair.
316 00:13:29,998 00:13:31,924 Hello, America. Hello, America.
317 00:13:31,934 00:13:34,355 Welcome back to "Everlasting." Welcome back to "Everlasting."
318 00:13:34,366 00:13:37,162 Please cue the first man-wagon. Please cue the first man-wagon.
319 00:13:37,172 00:13:38,379 Bringing in car one. Bringing in car one.
320 00:13:38,390 00:13:39,932 Who's coming in? Who's coming in?
321 00:13:39,942 00:13:42,935 The A-Team... Owen, Jasper, and Alexi. The A-Team... Owen, Jasper, and Alexi.
322 00:13:42,945 00:13:44,436 Doc, you are up. Doc, you are up.
323 00:13:44,446 00:13:46,805 Please give us some shrink dirt on these dudes. Please give us some shrink dirt on these dudes.
324 00:13:48,550 00:13:50,074 Uh, no, sorry. Uh, no, sorry.
325 00:13:50,084 00:13:52,255 I don't break patient/client privilege. I don't break patient/client privilege.
326 00:13:52,266 00:13:53,778 - Oh, okay. - Ever. - Oh, okay. - Ever.
327 00:13:53,788 00:13:55,180 Oh, that is good. That's cute. Oh, that is good. That's cute.
328 00:13:55,190 00:13:57,215 Dude, why the hell are you even here, then? Dude, why the hell are you even here, then?
329 00:13:57,225 00:13:58,739 Leave it be, Jay. Leave it be, Jay.
330 00:13:58,750 00:14:01,786 - It's fine. - America would love to know... - It's fine. - America would love to know...
331 00:14:01,796 00:14:03,355 Why is Serena dressed like a nun? Why is Serena dressed like a nun?
332 00:14:03,365 00:14:05,523 Because she dresses for other women, Because she dresses for other women,
333 00:14:05,533 00:14:07,725 which is why she's still single. which is why she's still single.
334 00:14:07,735 00:14:10,028 Let's, uh, start with car number one. Let's, uh, start with car number one.
335 00:14:10,038 00:14:12,186 And, uh, this is Owen. And, uh, this is Owen.
336 00:14:12,197 00:14:13,959 He could have left his helmet at home. He could have left his helmet at home.
337 00:14:13,970 00:14:15,733 We get he's a fireman. We get he's a fireman.
338 00:14:15,743 00:14:17,568 My God, you're gorgeous. My God, you're gorgeous.
339 00:14:18,813 00:14:20,137 - This is Riley. - Oh. - This is Riley. - Oh.
340 00:14:20,148 00:14:21,414 My baby girl. My baby girl.
341 00:14:21,425 00:14:23,250 Oh, wait. Does his daughter have cancer? Oh, wait. Does his daughter have cancer?
342 00:14:23,261 00:14:25,275 - No cancer. - Oh, damn it. - No cancer. - Oh, damn it.
343 00:14:25,286 00:14:27,278 Mm. She's beautiful. Mm. She's beautiful.
344 00:14:27,288 00:14:28,922 Thank you. You're sweet. Thank you. You're sweet.
345 00:14:28,933 00:14:29,977 She's my heart. She's my heart.
346 00:14:29,988 00:14:32,211 And I always lead with my heart, so... And I always lead with my heart, so...
347 00:14:32,222 00:14:36,319 Bam! My single fireman is going all the way! Bam! My single fireman is going all the way!
348 00:14:36,330 00:14:38,822 - Ooh, ooh, ooh! - Okay, calm down there, sparky, - Ooh, ooh, ooh! - Okay, calm down there, sparky,
349 00:14:38,832 00:14:41,158 'cause next up, we have Jasper... 'cause next up, we have Jasper...
350 00:14:41,168 00:14:44,627 White boy, Wall Street- by-way-of-London perfection. White boy, Wall Street- by-way-of-London perfection.
351 00:14:44,637 00:14:47,931 So, they told me that you are incredible. So, they told me that you are incredible.
352 00:14:48,952 00:14:51,068 I'm here to find out if that's true. I'm here to find out if that's true.
353 00:14:51,078 00:14:55,023 Oh, I'm sorry. Did... Did Jasper just neg her? Oh, I'm sorry. Did... Did Jasper just neg her?
354 00:14:55,034 00:14:56,672 That was really hot. That was really hot.
355 00:14:56,683 00:14:58,741 Mm, or kind of like rich-boy douchey. Mm, or kind of like rich-boy douchey.
356 00:14:58,751 00:15:00,276 It's such a fine line. It's such a fine line.
357 00:15:00,286 00:15:02,445 Ooh, I guess this means you ain't the only one Ooh, I guess this means you ain't the only one
358 00:15:02,455 00:15:04,414 with a wifey, bitch, so I will take this. with a wifey, bitch, so I will take this.
359 00:15:04,424 00:15:06,316 Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
360 00:15:06,326 00:15:10,352 Next up, we have my man-candy, Alexi. Next up, we have my man-candy, Alexi.
361 00:15:10,362 00:15:13,089 Oh, yeah. Cue the music. Oh, yeah. Cue the music.
362 00:15:13,099 00:15:15,157 Hello, handsome. Hello, handsome.
363 00:15:21,574 00:15:23,165 - That's a gay person. - No, I wish. - That's a gay person. - No, I wish.
364 00:15:23,175 00:15:25,968 He's the James Dean of the dance world. He's the James Dean of the dance world.
365 00:15:25,978 00:15:27,536 He got kicked out of IBT. He got kicked out of IBT.
366 00:15:27,546 00:15:29,504 Yeah, had a huge coke problem. Yeah, had a huge coke problem.
367 00:15:29,514 00:15:31,506 - We were so lucky we got him. - So lucky. - We were so lucky we got him. - So lucky.
368 00:15:31,516 00:15:34,443 I saw you dance with Misty Copeland I saw you dance with Misty Copeland
369 00:15:34,453 00:15:35,944 at the Balanchine Tribute. at the Balanchine Tribute.
370 00:15:35,954 00:15:37,646 You were spectacular. You were spectacular.
371 00:15:37,656 00:15:39,514 I'm glad you liked it. I'm glad you liked it.
372 00:15:39,524 00:15:40,982 I don't remember it. I don't remember it.
373 00:15:40,992 00:15:42,884 I love this guy. I love this guy.
374 00:15:42,894 00:15:45,887 Next, we have Rachel Goldberg's wet dream. Next, we have Rachel Goldberg's wet dream.
375 00:15:45,897 00:15:48,193 - Ooh. - Behold August. - Ooh. - Behold August.
376 00:15:48,204 00:15:50,458 - Nice to meet you, too. - He just got back from Africa. - Nice to meet you, too. - He just got back from Africa.
377 00:15:50,468 00:15:52,084 He volunteers for the Peace Corps. He volunteers for the Peace Corps.
378 00:15:52,095 00:15:53,951 Yeah, but he has a man-bun. Yeah, but he has a man-bun.
379 00:15:53,962 00:15:58,666 I have a gift from the villagers I lived with in Kenya. I have a gift from the villagers I lived with in Kenya.
380 00:15:58,676 00:16:01,360 Oh, my God. He's so soulful and intelligent. Oh, my God. He's so soulful and intelligent.
381 00:16:01,371 00:16:02,438 Okay. Okay.
382 00:16:02,449 00:16:04,188 So, how long till you bed this dude, Rach? So, how long till you bed this dude, Rach?
383 00:16:04,199 00:16:05,673 I'm not gonna bed him. I'm not gonna bed him.
384 00:16:05,683 00:16:07,841 I'm not. I'm actually celibate. I'm not. I'm actually celibate.
385 00:16:09,353 00:16:12,299 - Yeah, right. - Yes, it's part of my program. - Yeah, right. - Yes, it's part of my program.
386 00:16:12,310 00:16:13,981 Just trying to keep it together here. Just trying to keep it together here.
387 00:16:13,991 00:16:15,516 Okay, that'll last. Okay, that'll last.
388 00:16:15,526 00:16:17,484 Next we have Norman. Next we have Norman.
389 00:16:17,494 00:16:19,052 Oh! Look at that guy. Oh! Look at that guy.
390 00:16:19,062 00:16:21,054 - A wee little man. - He's so little and cute. - A wee little man. - He's so little and cute.
391 00:16:21,064 00:16:22,823 Norman, Kentucky Derby jockey. Norman, Kentucky Derby jockey.
392 00:16:22,833 00:16:24,299 - Hello. - Hello. - Hello. - Hello.
393 00:16:24,310 00:16:26,536 - Lovely to meet you. - Nice to meet you. - Lovely to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
394 00:16:26,904 00:16:30,430 Ooh, Serena is pissed. Ooh, Serena is pissed.
395 00:16:30,440 00:16:31,776 Is he looking for love Is he looking for love
396 00:16:31,787 00:16:34,815 or just someone to take him for a ride on the Matterhorn? or just someone to take him for a ride on the Matterhorn?
397 00:16:34,826 00:16:36,517 What are we gonna do with this shorty? What are we gonna do with this shorty?
398 00:16:36,528 00:16:38,908 We're gonna have to pair him up with the tallest guy here, We're gonna have to pair him up with the tallest guy here,
399 00:16:38,919 00:16:41,007 see if we can get his Napoleon complex going. see if we can get his Napoleon complex going.
400 00:16:41,017 00:16:43,276 Maybe he'll get in a fistfight by episode two. Maybe he'll get in a fistfight by episode two.
401 00:16:43,286 00:16:45,512 He'll be, like, swinging right for the belly button. He'll be, like, swinging right for the belly button.
402 00:16:45,522 00:16:47,280 Nice job, Madison. Nice job, Madison.
403 00:16:47,290 00:16:48,704 - Good TV. - You're such a kiss ass. - Good TV. - You're such a kiss ass.
404 00:16:48,715 00:16:50,116 All right, everybody. All right, everybody.
405 00:16:50,126 00:16:51,684 We have a lot to prove We have a lot to prove
406 00:16:51,694 00:16:53,385 and I've got a lot to lose. and I've got a lot to lose.
407 00:16:53,395 00:16:55,955 So, let's make sure that Miss Fancy-Pants... So, let's make sure that Miss Fancy-Pants...
408 00:16:55,965 00:16:58,527 Has a drink in her hands at all times. Has a drink in her hands at all times.
409 00:16:58,538 00:17:01,121 We got to rip that stick out from her ass. We got to rip that stick out from her ass.
410 00:17:01,132 00:17:02,582 Am I right? Go! Am I right? Go!
411 00:17:02,593 00:17:05,363 It's gonna be a great season. Let's do this! It's gonna be a great season. Let's do this!
412 00:17:05,389 00:17:08,382 Oh, God. Please let us have a great season. Oh, God. Please let us have a great season.
413 00:17:10,145 00:17:11,866 Your last shrink Your last shrink
414 00:17:11,877 00:17:14,926 actually gave you guys confidential information? actually gave you guys confidential information?
415 00:17:14,937 00:17:16,996 - Yeah, pretty much. - That's disgusting. - Yeah, pretty much. - That's disgusting.
416 00:17:17,007 00:17:19,082 Hey, listen hat's off, man. Hey, listen hat's off, man.
417 00:17:19,093 00:17:20,839 You're a real-ass shrink. That's something. You're a real-ass shrink. That's something.
418 00:17:20,850 00:17:22,229 That's what it says on the business card. That's what it says on the business card.
419 00:17:22,240 00:17:23,302 How'd you end up here? How'd you end up here?
420 00:17:23,313 00:17:24,804 I just needed a change, you know. I just needed a change, you know.
421 00:17:24,814 00:17:26,673 I was working as a corporate crisis counselor I was working as a corporate crisis counselor
422 00:17:26,683 00:17:28,241 for the last decade... for the last decade...
423 00:17:28,251 00:17:30,243 clients who were at a breaking point. clients who were at a breaking point.
424 00:17:30,253 00:17:32,278 Meaning what, exactly? Meaning what, exactly?
425 00:17:32,288 00:17:34,522 I solve problems... quickly. I solve problems... quickly.
426 00:17:36,693 00:17:38,284 - Really? - Yeah. - Really? - Yeah.
427 00:17:38,294 00:17:39,752 You any good at it? You any good at it?
428 00:17:39,762 00:17:41,854 Usually, yeah. Usually, yeah.
429 00:17:41,864 00:17:45,032 Usually. That sounds like a story. Usually. That sounds like a story.
430 00:17:46,702 00:17:50,163 My last client was a, uh, Wall Street trader My last client was a, uh, Wall Street trader
431 00:17:50,173 00:17:52,198 facing significant stress from work, facing significant stress from work,
432 00:17:52,208 00:17:53,466 as well as a family breakup. as well as a family breakup.
433 00:17:54,201 00:17:56,701 And so, what, you resolved his issues? And so, what, you resolved his issues?
434 00:17:57,188 00:17:58,454 Not exactly. Not exactly.
435 00:18:00,389 00:18:02,339 He went postal. He went postal.
436 00:18:03,210 00:18:05,477 Shot and killed his colleague... Shot and killed his colleague...
437 00:18:05,487 00:18:06,753 under my care. under my care.
438 00:18:09,692 00:18:11,349 Wow. Wow.
439 00:18:11,359 00:18:17,489 You see? You're not the only who can be... essentially honest. You see? You're not the only who can be... essentially honest.
440 00:18:17,499 00:18:19,733 Rachel? Rachel? Rachel? Rachel?
441 00:18:19,744 00:18:21,560 - Yeah, I'm trying. - A jockey? Seriously? - Yeah, I'm trying. - A jockey? Seriously?
442 00:18:21,570 00:18:23,976 - We're gonna have to talk about this. - Hey, Serena, uh, - We're gonna have to talk about this. - Hey, Serena, uh,
443 00:18:23,987 00:18:26,387 we got to get you in there. You want to just come with me? we got to get you in there. You want to just come with me?
444 00:18:26,398 00:18:28,122 - This is sparkling cider, right? - Sure is. - This is sparkling cider, right? - Sure is.
445 00:18:28,133 00:18:30,134 No booze tonight. Tell everyone. I mean, all the people. No booze tonight. Tell everyone. I mean, all the people.
446 00:18:30,144 00:18:31,645 I told everyone. I told everybody. I told everyone. I told everybody.
447 00:18:31,656 00:18:32,804 It's perfect. Wing it. It's perfect. Wing it.
448 00:18:32,814 00:18:34,405 Okay, guys. Okay, guys.
449 00:18:34,415 00:18:37,508 Um, to a superior and effective season. Um, to a superior and effective season.
450 00:18:38,531 00:18:41,980 - All right. - And all the dicks just went limp. - All right. - And all the dicks just went limp.
451 00:18:41,990 00:18:43,514 - Na zdorovie. - Bravo. - Na zdorovie. - Bravo.
452 00:18:43,524 00:18:45,483 Cheers. Cheers.
453 00:18:45,493 00:18:47,384 Ugh, she's boring. Goldberg, go. Ugh, she's boring. Goldberg, go.
454 00:18:47,394 00:18:48,860 Make my pussy wet now! Make my pussy wet now!
455 00:18:52,050 00:18:54,443 I'm a rancher, not just a cowboy. I'm a rancher, not just a cowboy.
456 00:18:54,453 00:18:56,257 Oh, hoping you're not a vegetarian. Oh, hoping you're not a vegetarian.
457 00:18:56,268 00:18:58,413 No, no, no. I love a good rib eye. No, no, no. I love a good rib eye.
458 00:18:58,424 00:18:59,851 I bet you do. I bet you do.
459 00:18:59,862 00:19:01,646 Will you excuse me for just one second? Will you excuse me for just one second?
460 00:19:01,657 00:19:03,482 - Yeah. Right on. - Okay. Thanks. - Yeah. Right on. - Okay. Thanks.
461 00:19:03,492 00:19:06,551 Want to introduce you to Zach. He has 3 1/2 million followers. Want to introduce you to Zach. He has 3 1/2 million followers.
462 00:19:06,562 00:19:08,422 That's so many. It's so nice to meet you. That's so many. It's so nice to meet you.
463 00:19:08,433 00:19:10,327 Can you give me just one second, really quick? Can you give me just one second, really quick?
464 00:19:10,338 00:19:11,689 Can I talk to you for a second? Can I talk to you for a second?
465 00:19:11,699 00:19:13,691 - So, Rachel. - Yes? - So, Rachel. - Yes?
466 00:19:13,701 00:19:15,744 What are you doing with Norman? He's clearly here What are you doing with Norman? He's clearly here
467 00:19:15,755 00:19:17,794 as a sight guy, which is cruel. as a sight guy, which is cruel.
468 00:19:17,805 00:19:20,595 Come on. So many women find jockeys attractive. Come on. So many women find jockeys attractive.
469 00:19:20,606 00:19:21,660 I have done my research. I have done my research.
470 00:19:21,671 00:19:23,426 I know that you have backup guys in the hotel somewhere. I know that you have backup guys in the hotel somewhere.
471 00:19:23,437 00:19:26,003 Please get rid of Norman and get me someone real. Please get rid of Norman and get me someone real.
472 00:19:26,013 00:19:28,025 - We can't. But... - Please get me someone real. - We can't. But... - Please get me someone real.
473 00:19:28,036 00:19:31,976 Rachel, honestly... in heels, I'm like a foot taller than him. Rachel, honestly... in heels, I'm like a foot taller than him.
474 00:19:31,986 00:19:34,645 Can you honestly tell me that makes sense? Can you honestly tell me that makes sense?
475 00:19:38,192 00:19:40,284 You're right, okay? You're right, okay?
476 00:19:40,294 00:19:42,486 - He is here for entertainment. - Thank you. - He is here for entertainment. - Thank you.
477 00:19:42,496 00:19:44,355 But he is very good for the show. But he is very good for the show.
478 00:19:44,365 00:19:45,990 I don't care about the show. I don't care about the show.
479 00:19:46,000 00:19:49,226 Okay, Norman gives us at least three episodes of story, Okay, Norman gives us at least three episodes of story,
480 00:19:49,236 00:19:53,163 so I am just asking you, okay, as a favor to me, so I am just asking you, okay, as a favor to me,
481 00:19:53,173 00:19:55,366 can you please, just, don't cut him? can you please, just, don't cut him?
482 00:19:55,376 00:19:57,333 Okay. Okay.
483 00:19:57,343 00:19:59,569 - Jasper. - What is going on, superstar? - Jasper. - What is going on, superstar?
484 00:19:59,579 00:20:01,571 You want to, like, get in there? You want to, like, get in there?
485 00:20:01,581 00:20:05,709 Yes. I am, uh... deep in that. Yes. I am, uh... deep in that.
486 00:20:05,719 00:20:07,143 Okay, check this, Quinn. Okay, check this, Quinn.
487 00:20:07,153 00:20:08,717 Are you not having fun, Are you not having fun,
488 00:20:08,728 00:20:11,414 or you're just a stand-on-the-sidelines kind of guy? or you're just a stand-on-the-sidelines kind of guy?
489 00:20:11,424 00:20:14,917 Oh, no. I'm not at all a stand-on-the-sidelines kind of guy. Oh, no. I'm not at all a stand-on-the-sidelines kind of guy.
490 00:20:14,927 00:20:17,520 I run my own private equity firm, which specializes in alt... I run my own private equity firm, which specializes in alt...
491 00:20:17,530 00:20:20,209 Alternative energy. Yes, I Googled you. Alternative energy. Yes, I Googled you.
492 00:20:20,220 00:20:22,685 - What the... - Where did you get a phone? - What the... - Where did you get a phone?
493 00:20:22,696 00:20:23,860 Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.
494 00:20:23,871 00:20:26,985 I convinced some 19-year-old P.A. from Kansas to let me use his. I convinced some 19-year-old P.A. from Kansas to let me use his.
495 00:20:26,996 00:20:30,860 Uh, which one of you numb-nuts is from Kansas? Uh, which one of you numb-nuts is from Kansas?
496 00:20:30,871 00:20:32,248 Uh, go for Tommy. Uh, go for Tommy.
497 00:20:32,259 00:20:33,850 Oh, hi, Tommy. Oh, hi, Tommy.
498 00:20:33,860 00:20:35,252 You're fired! You're fired!
499 00:20:35,262 00:20:37,321 Ha ha! First one of the night. Ha ha! First one of the night.
500 00:20:37,331 00:20:39,189 - Feels good. - I have to ask you... - Feels good. - I have to ask you...
501 00:20:40,290 00:20:42,958 What are you doing here on this show? What are you doing here on this show?
502 00:20:42,969 00:20:44,328 Same thing as you. Same thing as you.
503 00:20:44,338 00:20:46,029 Oh, you're looking for a husband. Oh, you're looking for a husband.
504 00:20:46,039 00:20:47,931 - I am, yes. You'd heard. - Oh! - I am, yes. You'd heard. - Oh!
505 00:20:47,941 00:20:49,632 Do you know where I could find anybody? Do you know where I could find anybody?
506 00:20:49,642 00:20:52,803 There's a few eligible bachelors around. There's a few eligible bachelors around.
507 00:20:52,813 00:20:54,771 Oh, very charming now all of a sudden. Oh, very charming now all of a sudden.
508 00:20:54,781 00:20:56,139 I went on a trip last year. I went on a trip last year.
509 00:20:56,149 00:20:58,400 I took myself on a heli-skiing tour in Niseko. I took myself on a heli-skiing tour in Niseko.
510 00:20:58,411 00:21:00,977 - I don't know if you've ever been... - Yes, I love Japan. - I don't know if you've ever been... - Yes, I love Japan.
511 00:21:00,987 00:21:02,279 I just came from there. I just came from there.
512 00:21:02,289 00:21:05,147 Well, it was incredible... really. Well, it was incredible... really.
513 00:21:05,157 00:21:06,482 Champagne powder, Champagne powder,
514 00:21:06,492 00:21:07,883 biggest flakes you have ever seen. biggest flakes you have ever seen.
515 00:21:07,893 00:21:09,652 Endless ancient pines. Endless ancient pines.
516 00:21:09,662 00:21:14,083 Really, my senses were just overwhelmed with... with beauty. Really, my senses were just overwhelmed with... with beauty.
517 00:21:15,034 00:21:16,992 But I looked around, and I realized But I looked around, and I realized
518 00:21:17,002 00:21:20,570 that it was just me and a bunch of strangers on a tour. that it was just me and a bunch of strangers on a tour.
519 00:21:24,009 00:21:26,802 I don't ever want to feel that alone again. I don't ever want to feel that alone again.
520 00:21:26,812 00:21:29,038 And... panty drop. And... panty drop.
521 00:21:29,048 00:21:30,583 Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
522 00:21:30,594 00:21:33,042 Now all of America wants to marry him. Now all of America wants to marry him.
523 00:21:33,952 00:21:35,677 What are we gonna do about that? What are we gonna do about that?
524 00:21:36,671 00:21:37,777 Indeed. Indeed.
525 00:21:37,788 00:21:40,314 Well, I think you're going to take me Well, I think you're going to take me
526 00:21:40,324 00:21:42,157 on the first one-on-one date. on the first one-on-one date.
527 00:21:46,111 00:21:49,389 Well, then, I think you're gonna have to earn it. Well, then, I think you're gonna have to earn it.
528 00:21:50,415 00:21:52,314 I will. I will.
529 00:21:54,636 00:21:56,214 Hey, Serena. Hey, Serena.
530 00:21:56,870 00:21:58,265 - Hey. - Hi. - Hey. - Hi.
531 00:21:58,275 00:22:00,050 Wow. I'm glad I caught you. Wow. I'm glad I caught you.
532 00:22:00,061 00:22:02,114 I mean, this is a kind of crowded field here. I mean, this is a kind of crowded field here.
533 00:22:02,125 00:22:04,335 Yes, there are a lot of interesting guys here. Yes, there are a lot of interesting guys here.
534 00:22:04,381 00:22:06,206 I'm only interested in you. I'm only interested in you.
535 00:22:06,216 00:22:08,746 Norman, can I talk to you for just a quick second? Norman, can I talk to you for just a quick second?
536 00:22:08,757 00:22:09,910 Yeah. Yeah.
537 00:22:09,920 00:22:13,179 And this is where magic happens. And this is where magic happens.
538 00:22:13,189 00:22:14,547 Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
539 00:22:14,557 00:22:17,684 Wow. There are just, like, so many screens. Wow. There are just, like, so many screens.
540 00:22:17,694 00:22:19,719 I don't even know where to look. I don't even know where to look.
541 00:22:19,729 00:22:20,953 Uh, excuse me. Uh, excuse me.
542 00:22:20,963 00:22:22,555 Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry.
543 00:22:22,565 00:22:23,723 - I... - Here. - I... - Here.
544 00:22:23,733 00:22:26,005 Oh, you must be Quinn. Oh, you must be Quinn.
545 00:22:26,016 00:22:29,362 I've heard so much about you. I'm Crystal. I've heard so much about you. I'm Crystal.
546 00:22:29,372 00:22:31,297 Okay. Okay.
547 00:22:31,307 00:22:35,134 Oh, um I am a student of Chet's. Oh, um I am a student of Chet's.
548 00:22:35,620 00:22:37,776 And girlfriend. You don't have to be embarrassed. And girlfriend. You don't have to be embarrassed.
549 00:22:37,787 00:22:40,851 I'm not embarrassed. I'm trying to be professional. I'm not embarrassed. I'm trying to be professional.
550 00:22:40,862 00:22:43,542 I'm so super impressed by what you do. I'm so super impressed by what you do.
551 00:22:43,552 00:22:46,278 And what do you do, Crystal? And what do you do, Crystal?
552 00:22:46,646 00:22:48,337 I am a model. I am a model.
553 00:22:48,348 00:22:51,108 Swimsuits mostly, but that's just to put me through... Swimsuits mostly, but that's just to put me through...
554 00:22:51,118 00:22:52,977 Calgrove? Calgrove?
555 00:22:52,987 00:22:54,476 Extension, but... Extension, but...
556 00:22:54,487 00:22:56,013 Fantastic. Fantastic.
557 00:22:56,023 00:22:57,982 Listen, I-I don't want to waste your time. Listen, I-I don't want to waste your time.
558 00:22:57,992 00:23:00,985 - Well, we've got all night. - No, I mean, on the show. - Well, we've got all night. - No, I mean, on the show.
559 00:23:00,995 00:23:04,488 T-The producers want me to keep you, but it's a novelty thing. T-The producers want me to keep you, but it's a novelty thing.
560 00:23:04,498 00:23:06,657 They're not taking you seriously. They're not taking you seriously.
561 00:23:06,667 00:23:08,659 Not taking me seriously? I'm an elite athlete. Not taking me seriously? I'm an elite athlete.
562 00:23:08,669 00:23:12,028 I know, I know, which is why I don't want them playing you for laughs. I know, I know, which is why I don't want them playing you for laughs.
563 00:23:12,038 00:23:15,165 Oh, well, thank you. I-I appreciate that. Oh, well, thank you. I-I appreciate that.
564 00:23:15,175 00:23:18,701 So... I'm gonna cut you right now. So... I'm gonna cut you right now.
565 00:23:18,711 00:23:20,369 - What?! - What? - What?! - What?
566 00:23:20,379 00:23:22,338 No! Cut! Cut! Cut! No! Cut! Cut! Cut!
567 00:23:22,348 00:23:23,673 This is unbelievable. This is unbelievable.
568 00:23:25,814 00:23:28,037 - What the hell is she doing? - Hey, listen, I told her. - What the hell is she doing? - Hey, listen, I told her.
569 00:23:28,048 00:23:29,174 I asked her not to cut him. I asked her not to cut him.
570 00:23:29,185 00:23:31,468 - You asked her? That's so sweet of you. - Rachel. - You asked her? That's so sweet of you. - Rachel.
571 00:23:31,479 00:23:33,883 I'm sorry. Don't talk to her. Talk to me. I'm sorry. Don't talk to her. Talk to me.
572 00:23:33,893 00:23:36,151 Fine. I told Rachel I want a backup guy. Fine. I told Rachel I want a backup guy.
573 00:23:36,161 00:23:37,795 Now you have to get me one. Now you have to get me one.
574 00:23:38,603 00:23:39,622 I'll handle it, okay? I'll handle it, okay?
575 00:23:39,633 00:23:41,608 Yeah, you'd better 'cause this is your choice. Yeah, you'd better 'cause this is your choice.
576 00:23:41,619 00:23:43,392 You get her under control. You get her under control.
577 00:23:43,402 00:23:44,660 Hey. Hey.
578 00:23:44,670 00:23:46,729 Uh... are you okay? Uh... are you okay?
579 00:23:46,739 00:23:48,230 I don't know. I don't know.
580 00:23:48,240 00:23:49,732 Can I get you a drink? Can I get you a drink?
581 00:23:49,742 00:23:51,233 Actually, can you get me out of here? Actually, can you get me out of here?
582 00:23:51,243 00:23:52,500 Yeah. Yeah.
583 00:23:52,510 00:23:53,568 - Great. - Yeah. - Great. - Yeah.
584 00:23:53,578 00:23:56,705 I told you, she's smart. We can't handle her the same way. I told you, she's smart. We can't handle her the same way.
585 00:23:56,715 00:23:59,582 - I mean, you would never stand for... - She is not me. - I mean, you would never stand for... - She is not me.
586 00:24:01,987 00:24:04,246 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
587 00:24:04,256 00:24:06,849 Is that why you're doing this? Is that why you're doing this?
588 00:24:06,859 00:24:08,983 Is that why you picked her? Is that why you picked her?
589 00:24:08,993 00:24:11,219 Look at me. Look at me.
590 00:24:11,229 00:24:14,322 She is not the avatar for you or me She is not the avatar for you or me
591 00:24:14,332 00:24:17,024 nor is she the ambassador for smart women everywhere. nor is she the ambassador for smart women everywhere.
592 00:24:17,034 00:24:20,194 She is the star of a reality television show She is the star of a reality television show
593 00:24:20,204 00:24:22,330 that I have to make work. that I have to make work.
594 00:24:22,340 00:24:23,865 I know. I know.
595 00:24:23,875 00:24:26,200 The most feminist thing you could do right now The most feminist thing you could do right now
596 00:24:26,210 00:24:28,677 is help me. is help me.
597 00:24:33,522 00:24:36,089 Oh, wow. Look at that view. Oh, wow. Look at that view.
598 00:24:39,351 00:24:42,374 I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It's... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It's...
599 00:24:43,288 00:24:44,513 - O... - Owen! - O... - Owen!
600 00:24:44,523 00:24:46,080 - Uh-huh. - Owen. - Uh-huh. - Owen.
601 00:24:46,090 00:24:47,682 - Yes. - Hi. - Yes. - Hi.
602 00:24:47,692 00:24:50,685 I'm here to date you. I'm here to date you.
603 00:24:50,695 00:24:52,954 Oh, God. This is... Oh, God. This is...
604 00:24:52,964 00:24:55,623 Oh, this is all so overwhelming. Oh, this is all so overwhelming.
605 00:24:55,633 00:24:59,321 Really? You seem so confident. Really? You seem so confident.
606 00:24:59,332 00:25:00,928 I-I don't know. I would have thought I-I don't know. I would have thought
607 00:25:00,938 00:25:02,782 this was just another Monday night for you. this was just another Monday night for you.
608 00:25:02,793 00:25:06,268 Okay, listen... my life is a lot more boring than people think. Okay, listen... my life is a lot more boring than people think.
609 00:25:06,279 00:25:09,022 - Mm. - I mean, 26 first dates - Mm. - I mean, 26 first dates
610 00:25:09,033 00:25:12,192 all at the same time is a lot. all at the same time is a lot.
611 00:25:12,202 00:25:14,628 Yeah, I know the feeling. Yeah, I know the feeling.
612 00:25:14,638 00:25:17,631 We had some bad nights when I was stationed in Fallujah. We had some bad nights when I was stationed in Fallujah.
613 00:25:17,641 00:25:20,034 I got separated from my company. I got separated from my company.
614 00:25:20,044 00:25:22,469 Saved a little boy from being killed. Saved a little boy from being killed.
615 00:25:22,479 00:25:24,671 - It was just... - All right, all right. Okay. - It was just... - All right, all right. Okay.
616 00:25:24,681 00:25:26,706 I'm... I'm a jerk. I'm... I'm a jerk.
617 00:25:26,716 00:25:28,074 Nah. Nah.
618 00:25:28,084 00:25:32,178 This place is all a bit much for me, too. This place is all a bit much for me, too.
619 00:25:32,188 00:25:33,847 - Pretty simple guy. - Oh, yeah? - Pretty simple guy. - Oh, yeah?
620 00:25:33,857 00:25:37,684 Just a simple guy who fought for his country Just a simple guy who fought for his country
621 00:25:37,694 00:25:41,487 and now rescues little old ladies from burning buildings. and now rescues little old ladies from burning buildings.
622 00:25:41,497 00:25:43,656 Well, sometimes it is kittens. Well, sometimes it is kittens.
623 00:25:43,666 00:25:44,890 Of course it is. Of course it is.
624 00:25:48,337 00:25:50,896 Thank you for the jailbreak. Thank you for the jailbreak.
625 00:25:50,906 00:25:53,507 You're very welcome. My pleasure. You're very welcome. My pleasure.
626 00:25:56,679 00:26:00,948 I think this is the part where I'm supposed to kiss you. I think this is the part where I'm supposed to kiss you.
627 00:26:02,585 00:26:05,678 So, why don't you? So, why don't you?
628 00:26:20,130 00:26:22,506 Hey, Quinn, um, we haven't really had a chance to talk yet. Hey, Quinn, um, we haven't really had a chance to talk yet.
629 00:26:22,517 00:26:23,525 Haven't we? Haven't we?
630 00:26:23,536 00:26:25,263 I'm just grateful that you asked me back. I'm just grateful that you asked me back.
631 00:26:25,273 00:26:26,814 And I want you to know, what happened with Gary, And I want you to know, what happened with Gary,
632 00:26:26,825 00:26:28,649 it was a one-time thing. I met him at a party. it was a one-time thing. I met him at a party.
633 00:26:28,660 00:26:29,934 No. No.
634 00:26:29,944 00:26:32,070 You made sure you did. You made sure you did.
635 00:26:32,080 00:26:33,304 Okay. Okay.
636 00:26:33,314 00:26:35,607 Well, that's over. Well, that's over.
637 00:26:35,617 00:26:38,242 And your respect means everything to me. And your respect means everything to me.
638 00:26:38,252 00:26:41,278 And I don't want you to think that I'm just my pussy. And I don't want you to think that I'm just my pussy.
639 00:26:43,324 00:26:44,916 Then prove it. Then prove it.
640 00:26:44,926 00:26:46,283 Where the hell is Rachel? Where the hell is Rachel?
641 00:26:46,293 00:26:48,419 And where the hell is my suitress?! And where the hell is my suitress?!
642 00:26:48,429 00:26:49,987 Find her! Find her!
643 00:26:49,997 00:26:51,922 That was very fun. That was very fun.
644 00:26:51,932 00:26:54,592 - Thank you for springing me. - Ah, you're welcome. - Thank you for springing me. - Ah, you're welcome.
645 00:26:54,602 00:26:56,826 Okay. What the hell are you doing out here? Okay. What the hell are you doing out here?
646 00:26:56,837 00:26:59,630 - Can we hitch a ride? - Yes, you can. - Can we hitch a ride? - Yes, you can.
647 00:26:59,640 00:27:01,332 Hey, you. Hey, you.
648 00:27:01,342 00:27:02,966 Don't ever sneak off campus again. Don't ever sneak off campus again.
649 00:27:02,976 00:27:04,909 - Okay. - Bye. - Okay. - Bye.
650 00:27:06,846 00:27:08,713 We just kissed. Can you believe it? We just kissed. Can you believe it?
651 00:27:08,724 00:27:11,650 Yes, I can. You know, I'm the one that hand-picked him for you. Yes, I can. You know, I'm the one that hand-picked him for you.
652 00:27:11,661 00:27:13,243 Why are you mad at me? Why are you mad at me?
653 00:27:13,253 00:27:14,845 You just can't have first kisses You just can't have first kisses
654 00:27:14,855 00:27:16,947 or anything else important off-camera, okay? or anything else important off-camera, okay?
655 00:27:16,957 00:27:19,815 Yeah, well, I can't promise that that's not gonna happen, Rachel. Yeah, well, I can't promise that that's not gonna happen, Rachel.
656 00:27:19,825 00:27:21,751 Okay, you know what, Serena? Okay, you know what, Serena?
657 00:27:21,761 00:27:23,159 If you don't play ball, If you don't play ball,
658 00:27:23,170 00:27:25,190 Quinn is gonna screw you just to have a good story. Quinn is gonna screw you just to have a good story.
659 00:27:25,201 00:27:27,990 Oh, please, I watched the last six seasons in two weeks. Oh, please, I watched the last six seasons in two weeks.
660 00:27:28,000 00:27:29,234 She always protects the star. She always protects the star.
661 00:27:29,245 00:27:32,460 No, she always protects the show, okay? No, she always protects the show, okay?
662 00:27:32,471 00:27:33,862 We've had bad-boy suitors before. We've had bad-boy suitors before.
663 00:27:33,873 00:27:36,523 You think she's gonna think twice before turning you into a bitch? You think she's gonna think twice before turning you into a bitch?
664 00:27:36,534 00:27:37,554 How could she do that? How could she do that?
665 00:27:37,565 00:27:40,249 By airing the footage of you cutting Norman in the opening night, By airing the footage of you cutting Norman in the opening night,
666 00:27:40,260 00:27:42,271 not even having the decency not even having the decency
667 00:27:42,281 00:27:44,339 to wait for the elimination ceremony. to wait for the elimination ceremony.
668 00:27:44,349 00:27:46,375 You are smart, pretty, and successful. You are smart, pretty, and successful.
669 00:27:46,385 00:27:48,610 Half of America already hates you. Half of America already hates you.
670 00:27:48,620 00:27:50,813 I mean, if that footage gets out, you better hope I mean, if that footage gets out, you better hope
671 00:27:50,823 00:27:52,181 your future husband is back there, your future husband is back there,
672 00:27:52,191 00:27:53,515 that he's one of those 26 guys. that he's one of those 26 guys.
673 00:27:53,525 00:27:55,284 Otherwise, I mean, you're screwed. Otherwise, I mean, you're screwed.
674 00:27:55,294 00:27:58,152 Yes, America is gonna know exactly who you are, Yes, America is gonna know exactly who you are,
675 00:27:58,162 00:28:01,121 but just no guy is ever gonna want to date you, but just no guy is ever gonna want to date you,
676 00:28:01,131 00:28:02,598 like, ever. like, ever.
677 00:28:04,968 00:28:06,860 So, what do I do? So, what do I do?
678 00:28:06,870 00:28:09,230 You kiss Norman. You kiss Norman.
679 00:28:09,240 00:28:10,798 What? Why? What? Why?
680 00:28:10,808 00:28:12,700 Listen, because, if you kiss the short guy... Listen, because, if you kiss the short guy...
681 00:28:12,710 00:28:14,367 the least expected guy here... the least expected guy here...
682 00:28:14,377 00:28:16,036 you instantly make yourself likeable you instantly make yourself likeable
683 00:28:16,046 00:28:18,038 and you get America rooting for you again. and you get America rooting for you again.
684 00:28:18,048 00:28:20,732 Yes, or I make myself an enormous joke. Yes, or I make myself an enormous joke.
685 00:28:20,742 00:28:23,703 - Come on. This is not part of the plan. - Your plans are for shit. - Come on. This is not part of the plan. - Your plans are for shit.
686 00:28:23,713 00:28:26,346 You're on a reality show trying to find a husband. You're on a reality show trying to find a husband.
687 00:28:29,259 00:28:32,260 You have done everything else, and it hasn't worked. You have done everything else, and it hasn't worked.
688 00:28:35,031 00:28:37,532 Just give me a chance to make this right for you. Just give me a chance to make this right for you.
689 00:28:41,605 00:28:43,738 I'm gonna need a drink. I'm gonna need a drink.
690 00:28:47,577 00:28:49,982 Yeah, yeah, I feel stupid, and I'm pissed. Yeah, yeah, I feel stupid, and I'm pissed.
691 00:28:49,993 00:28:52,263 I-I got a producer saying that. that I need to shut up. I-I got a producer saying that. that I need to shut up.
692 00:28:52,274 00:28:54,620 - I got another one ignoring me. - Yes, get her drinking. - I got another one ignoring me. - Yes, get her drinking.
693 00:28:54,631 00:28:56,576 Give her another shot. Make her take another one. Give her another shot. Make her take another one.
694 00:28:56,587 00:28:58,045 - the butt of the joke here. - Hi, Norman. - the butt of the joke here. - Hi, Norman.
695 00:28:58,056 00:29:00,318 - This is ridiculous. - Can I talk to you for a second? - This is ridiculous. - Can I talk to you for a second?
696 00:29:00,904 00:29:03,017 So, uh... So, uh...
697 00:29:03,027 00:29:06,102 I just... I know I made a mistake earlier, I just... I know I made a mistake earlier,
698 00:29:06,113 00:29:08,188 and I-I didn't mean to cut you. and I-I didn't mean to cut you.
699 00:29:08,198 00:29:10,657 I made a rush to judgment. I made a rush to judgment.
700 00:29:10,668 00:29:12,930 - Uh, thank you. - Yeah. - Uh, thank you. - Yeah.
701 00:29:12,941 00:29:14,761 Thank you for saying that. I appreciate it. Thank you for saying that. I appreciate it.
702 00:29:14,771 00:29:16,201 It shouldn't surprise me, though. It shouldn't surprise me, though.
703 00:29:16,212 00:29:18,443 Honestly, I'm pretty used to being underestimated. Honestly, I'm pretty used to being underestimated.
704 00:29:18,454 00:29:20,516 Most people don't even realize the strength it takes Most people don't even realize the strength it takes
705 00:29:20,532 00:29:22,002 to harness a thoroughbred. I mean... to harness a thoroughbred. I mean...
706 00:29:22,012 00:29:24,070 Oh! Yes. Oh! Yes.
707 00:29:24,080 00:29:26,940 Ride that pony, Missy. Ride it. Ride that pony, Missy. Ride it.
708 00:29:26,950 00:29:28,330 Nice work, Rachel. Nice work, Rachel.
709 00:29:28,341 00:29:30,010 You're a wild little filly, aren't you? You're a wild little filly, aren't you?
710 00:29:33,122 00:29:35,214 Get them off. Get them off.
711 00:29:35,224 00:29:37,517 Come on. Come on. Yeah! Come on. Come on. Yeah!
712 00:29:52,641 00:29:54,541 Whoo! Whoo!
713 00:30:12,393 00:30:14,452 Here's to you, Goldie. Nice work. Here's to you, Goldie. Nice work.
714 00:30:14,462 00:30:18,389 That ass is officially stick-free. That ass is officially stick-free.
715 00:30:19,135 00:30:20,307 Yes. Yes.
716 00:30:25,306 00:30:27,598 Okay. Looks like you got enough there, Okay. Looks like you got enough there,
717 00:30:27,608 00:30:30,501 and she's clearly had way too much to drink. and she's clearly had way too much to drink.
718 00:30:30,511 00:30:32,336 I'm not really comfortable with this. I'm not really comfortable with this.
719 00:30:32,346 00:30:34,671 Well, you better get comfortable, okay? Well, you better get comfortable, okay?
720 00:30:34,681 00:30:36,582 This is how we make the show work. This is how we make the show work.
721 00:30:42,155 00:30:44,780 I can feel you guys. What? I can feel you guys. What?
722 00:30:45,665 00:30:48,484 Okay. Okay. Fine. Fine. Okay. Okay. Fine. Fine.
723 00:30:48,495 00:30:50,754 We're running out of hard night anyways. We're running out of hard night anyways.
724 00:30:51,283 00:30:54,440 Bunch of pussies. Cut, cut, cut. Bunch of pussies. Cut, cut, cut.
725 00:30:54,451 00:30:56,093 All right, go on, Goldberg. All right, go on, Goldberg.
726 00:30:56,103 00:30:58,628 Go get Miss Fancy-Pants ready for the elimination ceremony. Go get Miss Fancy-Pants ready for the elimination ceremony.
727 00:31:00,873 00:31:02,198 Serena? Serena?
728 00:31:02,208 00:31:03,966 Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
729 00:31:12,652 00:31:14,310 Dude, oh, my God! Oh, my God! Dude, oh, my God! Oh, my God!
730 00:31:14,320 00:31:15,645 Okay. Stop. Okay. Stop.
731 00:31:15,655 00:31:17,446 Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.
732 00:31:17,456 00:31:19,515 Okay, let's go. Okay, let's go.
733 00:31:19,525 00:31:21,117 Oh my... Oh my...
734 00:31:21,127 00:31:23,480 Okay, I just told you to kiss the guy. Okay, I just told you to kiss the guy.
735 00:31:23,491 00:31:26,225 I know. And then I just did that. I know. And then I just did that.
736 00:31:27,539 00:31:28,724 Um... Um...
737 00:31:28,734 00:31:30,793 - Um... - Oh, my God. - Um... - Oh, my God.
738 00:31:30,803 00:31:32,636 Okay, come here. It's okay. Come on. Okay, come here. It's okay. Come on.
739 00:31:40,011 00:31:41,870 - There you go. - Oh. - There you go. - Oh.
740 00:31:41,880 00:31:44,753 - Oh, I don't know what happened. - Oh, my God. Don't worry about it. - Oh, I don't know what happened. - Oh, my God. Don't worry about it.
741 00:31:44,764 00:31:48,143 - It happens to the best of us. - So not like me. - It happens to the best of us. - So not like me.
742 00:31:48,153 00:31:49,744 Maybe it was something I ate. Maybe it was something I ate.
743 00:31:49,754 00:31:52,147 Oh, I don't know. You think it was all that tequila you ate Oh, I don't know. You think it was all that tequila you ate
744 00:31:52,157 00:31:53,381 - on that empty stomach? - No. - on that empty stomach? - No.
745 00:31:53,391 00:31:54,816 Rachel, you don't understand. Rachel, you don't understand.
746 00:31:54,826 00:31:58,653 I... I never do this. I... I never do this.
747 00:31:58,663 00:32:00,689 I mean, I don't... I mean, I don't...
748 00:32:00,699 00:32:04,192 I don't even kiss guys until the third date. I don't even kiss guys until the third date.
749 00:32:04,202 00:32:07,094 I don't text first. I don't... I don't use emojis. I don't text first. I don't... I don't use emojis.
750 00:32:07,104 00:32:10,800 I mean, my mother gave me a copy of the rules in sixth grade. I mean, my mother gave me a copy of the rules in sixth grade.
751 00:32:10,811 00:32:13,000 God. How could I do that? God. How could I do that?
752 00:32:13,010 00:32:15,835 Are you kidding me? Come on. You're like everybody else on this planet. Are you kidding me? Come on. You're like everybody else on this planet.
753 00:32:15,846 00:32:18,272 You are screwed up and lonely and figuring it out. You are screwed up and lonely and figuring it out.
754 00:32:18,282 00:32:20,708 Yeah, maybe your friends are like that. Yeah, maybe your friends are like that.
755 00:32:20,718 00:32:25,278 My friends are all married to very beautiful people My friends are all married to very beautiful people
756 00:32:25,288 00:32:28,215 who went to incredible schools who went to incredible schools
757 00:32:28,225 00:32:31,152 and made sensible real-estate investments and made sensible real-estate investments
758 00:32:31,163 00:32:32,963 for their future kids. for their future kids.
759 00:32:36,633 00:32:39,892 Do you have any idea what it feels like Do you have any idea what it feels like
760 00:32:39,902 00:32:44,772 to walk into Sunday brunch full of those couples... to walk into Sunday brunch full of those couples...
761 00:32:45,859 00:32:46,890 Alone? Alone?
762 00:32:49,412 00:32:51,705 I don't. I don't.
763 00:32:51,715 00:32:53,715 But I can imagine it feels like shit. But I can imagine it feels like shit.
764 00:32:57,486 00:33:03,315 The weird thing is, I did everything right. The weird thing is, I did everything right.
765 00:33:03,325 00:33:06,660 I did everything just like them. I did everything just like them.
766 00:33:08,998 00:33:11,231 My friends say that I'm too picky... My friends say that I'm too picky...
767 00:33:13,454 00:33:16,555 that no guy is good enough. that no guy is good enough.
768 00:33:18,741 00:33:20,674 But the truth is... But the truth is...
769 00:33:23,646 00:33:25,679 nobody picks me. nobody picks me.
770 00:33:27,348 00:33:30,142 Look, you listen to me. Look, you listen to me.
771 00:33:30,152 00:33:32,978 You're incredible. You're incredible.
772 00:33:32,988 00:33:36,014 You deserve to find somebody who loves you just the way you are. You deserve to find somebody who loves you just the way you are.
773 00:33:36,024 00:33:38,250 I promise. I promise.
774 00:33:38,260 00:33:40,226 I'm gonna make that happen. I'm gonna make that happen.
775 00:33:42,363 00:33:44,129 - Thank you. - Mm-hmm. - Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
776 00:33:54,692 00:33:57,660 Okay. Let's do this. Okay. Let's do this.
777 00:34:00,856 00:34:03,379 Tonight, half of you will say goodbye, Tonight, half of you will say goodbye,
778 00:34:03,390 00:34:05,619 while the other half of you will say hello while the other half of you will say hello
779 00:34:05,629 00:34:08,788 to a brand-new slow watch. to a brand-new slow watch.
780 00:34:08,798 00:34:13,325 With its sole 24-hour dial, the slow Jo is proof With its sole 24-hour dial, the slow Jo is proof
781 00:34:13,335 00:34:18,164 that minimalism and luxury can go hand in hand. that minimalism and luxury can go hand in hand.
782 00:34:18,174 00:34:20,025 Was that your idea, these commercials? Was that your idea, these commercials?
783 00:34:20,036 00:34:22,434 - You're welcome. - Serena, the floor is yours. - You're welcome. - Serena, the floor is yours.
784 00:34:22,444 00:34:24,637 It's been a really great evening. It's been a really great evening.
785 00:34:24,647 00:34:27,339 And I'm thrilled that you're all here, And I'm thrilled that you're all here,
786 00:34:27,349 00:34:29,316 and I look forward to what comes next. and I look forward to what comes next.
787 00:34:31,153 00:34:32,844 August. August.
788 00:34:32,854 00:34:34,146 Okay, yes. Okay, yes.
789 00:34:34,156 00:34:35,455 Saw that coming. Saw that coming.
790 00:34:36,458 00:34:40,452 - Alexi. - Yeah, sexy Alexi, get it. - Alexi. - Yeah, sexy Alexi, get it.
791 00:34:40,462 00:34:42,688 - Warren. - The cowboy. - Warren. - The cowboy.
792 00:34:42,698 00:34:46,058 Fly-over state, people, fly-over states. Fly-over state, people, fly-over states.
793 00:34:46,068 00:34:48,326 Zach. Zach.
794 00:34:48,336 00:34:51,228 - Yes! - Are we gonna have to bring his nanny? - Yes! - Are we gonna have to bring his nanny?
795 00:34:51,239 00:34:53,401 - Preston. - Oh, oh, he could be his nanny. - Preston. - Oh, oh, he could be his nanny.
796 00:34:53,412 00:34:54,465 Perfect. Perfect.
797 00:34:54,475 00:34:57,468 - Jasper. - Jasper. Thank you. - Jasper. - Jasper. Thank you.
798 00:34:57,479 00:34:59,576 He is perfect, isn't he? He is perfect, isn't he?
799 00:34:59,587 00:35:01,451 Don't screw that up, Jay. Don't screw that up, Jay.
800 00:35:04,919 00:35:07,645 - Owen. - Okay, Rachel. You got one. - Owen. - Okay, Rachel. You got one.
801 00:35:07,655 00:35:09,314 I want you to know that our moment tonight I want you to know that our moment tonight
802 00:35:09,324 00:35:11,416 was really great. was really great.
803 00:35:11,426 00:35:13,251 Probably one of the best. Probably one of the best.
804 00:35:13,261 00:35:16,386 Oh, isn't that sweet? Oh, isn't that sweet?
805 00:35:16,396 00:35:20,191 Oh, look at the big balls on that little fella. Oh, look at the big balls on that little fella.
806 00:35:20,201 00:35:22,727 You know, jockeys have... There's a lot of testosterone You know, jockeys have... There's a lot of testosterone
807 00:35:22,737 00:35:24,494 in a concentrated area. in a concentrated area.
808 00:35:24,504 00:35:26,670 Well, I got to hand to him. He does have swagger. Well, I got to hand to him. He does have swagger.
809 00:35:26,681 00:35:28,999 That must have been one hell of a kiss. That must have been one hell of a kiss.
810 00:35:29,009 00:35:31,768 Look, nice work, Rachel. Nice work. Look, nice work, Rachel. Nice work.
811 00:35:31,778 00:35:34,157 This is gonna be a great season. This is gonna be a great season.
812 00:35:34,168 00:35:36,301 This is the last watch of the night. This is the last watch of the night.
813 00:35:42,422 00:35:43,747 Billy. Billy.
814 00:35:43,757 00:35:48,017 Are you kidding me? What the hell? Are you kidding me? What the hell?
815 00:35:48,027 00:35:49,886 Well, guys, um... Well, guys, um...
816 00:35:49,896 00:35:51,454 Now, how did that happen, Rachel? Now, how did that happen, Rachel?
817 00:35:51,464 00:35:53,957 that concludes our elimination ceremony that concludes our elimination ceremony
818 00:35:53,967 00:35:55,666 this evening. this evening.
819 00:35:57,213 00:35:58,545 Hey. Hey.
820 00:35:59,127 00:36:02,889 Ah, so you cut Norman anyway. Ah, so you cut Norman anyway.
821 00:36:02,900 00:36:04,819 - I did. - Why did you do that? - I did. - Why did you do that?
822 00:36:04,830 00:36:07,489 So he wouldn't be around and tell anybody you guys had sex? So he wouldn't be around and tell anybody you guys had sex?
823 00:36:07,499 00:36:10,859 No, I cut Norman because he's never gonna be my husband. No, I cut Norman because he's never gonna be my husband.
824 00:36:10,869 00:36:13,236 I made a mistake, obviously, I made a mistake, obviously,
825 00:36:13,247 00:36:15,347 but I assure you, it will never happen again. but I assure you, it will never happen again.
826 00:36:22,147 00:36:25,173 The truth is, I'm a shark. I am very ambitious. The truth is, I'm a shark. I am very ambitious.
827 00:36:25,183 00:36:27,261 I'm really, really good at my job I'm really, really good at my job
828 00:36:27,272 00:36:29,178 and I don't want to have to apologize for that. and I don't want to have to apologize for that.
829 00:36:29,189 00:36:31,379 - Okay, no. Just cut. - Everything that I've wanted... - Okay, no. Just cut. - Everything that I've wanted...
830 00:36:31,389 00:36:32,714 - I've achieved. - Cut, cut, cut. - I've achieved. - Cut, cut, cut.
831 00:36:32,724 00:36:34,482 Nobody's gonna want to jerk off to that. Nobody's gonna want to jerk off to that.
832 00:36:34,492 00:36:36,884 Who jerks off to "Everlasting"? Who jerks off to "Everlasting"?
833 00:36:37,654 00:36:39,279 Who doesn't? Who doesn't?
834 00:36:39,290 00:36:40,428 I don't know. I don't know.
835 00:36:40,439 00:36:43,050 Are you really gonna be here every day? Are you really gonna be here every day?
836 00:36:43,061 00:36:45,286 I mean, you already pitched Serena to the network. I mean, you already pitched Serena to the network.
837 00:36:45,296 00:36:48,122 You brought your girlfriend by for opening night. You brought your girlfriend by for opening night.
838 00:36:48,132 00:36:50,324 Isn't your work here done? Isn't your work here done?
839 00:36:50,334 00:36:51,943 I'm just getting started. I'm just getting started.
840 00:36:51,954 00:36:54,294 I'm serious about this Emmy thing, Quinn. I'm serious about this Emmy thing, Quinn.
841 00:36:54,305 00:36:56,330 Oh, sure. That makes sense. Oh, sure. That makes sense.
842 00:36:56,340 00:36:58,600 This whole mid-life crisis thing. This whole mid-life crisis thing.
843 00:36:58,611 00:37:00,490 It's not a crisis, Quinnie. It's not a crisis, Quinnie.
844 00:37:00,501 00:37:02,093 It's an awakening. It's an awakening.
845 00:37:02,286 00:37:05,779 Okay, but I mean, come on. Okay, but I mean, come on.
846 00:37:06,016 00:37:07,282 Crystal? Crystal?
847 00:37:09,690 00:37:11,423 It's just easier, Quinn. It's just easier, Quinn.
848 00:37:13,154 00:37:14,420 She's easier. She's easier.
849 00:37:35,542 00:37:37,067 What is this? What is this?
850 00:37:37,078 00:37:38,549 - Hey. - Hey. - Hey. - Hey.
851 00:37:38,560 00:37:40,618 Uh Uh
852 00:37:40,629 00:37:42,557 I know this is gonna sound pretentious, I know this is gonna sound pretentious,
853 00:37:42,568 00:37:45,160 but my room is just too confining. but my room is just too confining.
854 00:37:45,171 00:37:48,401 You know, I'm used to sleeping out under the stars, You know, I'm used to sleeping out under the stars,
855 00:37:48,412 00:37:50,304 you know, fresh air. you know, fresh air.
856 00:37:50,315 00:37:51,403 You should try it sometime. You should try it sometime.
857 00:37:51,414 00:37:53,294 You know, I was actually thinking about joining You know, I was actually thinking about joining
858 00:37:53,305 00:37:54,920 the Peace Corps for a while, too, there. the Peace Corps for a while, too, there.
859 00:37:54,930 00:37:56,288 - Oh, yeah? - But then, you know, - Oh, yeah? - But then, you know,
860 00:37:56,298 00:37:57,723 life got in the way or whatever. life got in the way or whatever.
861 00:37:57,733 00:37:59,524 - So, but yeah. - Yeah. Yeah, it does that. - So, but yeah. - Yeah. Yeah, it does that.
862 00:37:59,534 00:38:01,727 Anyway, where were you thinking of going? Anyway, where were you thinking of going?
863 00:38:01,737 00:38:03,295 I was thinking about Africa. I was thinking about Africa.
864 00:38:03,305 00:38:05,930 Oh, man. I love Africa. Oh, man. I love Africa.
865 00:38:05,940 00:38:07,799 - It's amazing, right? - Yeah, it is. - It's amazing, right? - Yeah, it is.
866 00:38:07,809 00:38:10,302 I mean, people talk about it, but when you go there, I mean, people talk about it, but when you go there,
867 00:38:10,312 00:38:11,970 it's just beyond your comprehension. it's just beyond your comprehension.
868 00:38:11,980 00:38:14,038 - Rachel? - So much... - Rachel? - So much...
869 00:38:14,048 00:38:15,261 Hey. Hey.
870 00:38:15,667 00:38:16,916 You got a second? You got a second?
871 00:38:18,455 00:38:20,222 - See ya. - Yeah. - See ya. - Yeah.
872 00:38:21,489 00:38:22,691 Hey. Hey.
873 00:38:22,991 00:38:25,583 Okay, just listen to me. I... Look, I'm serious about the work Okay, just listen to me. I... Look, I'm serious about the work
874 00:38:25,594 00:38:27,317 that I've been doing on myself, Rachel. I wouldn't... that I've been doing on myself, Rachel. I wouldn't...
875 00:38:27,328 00:38:29,821 Will you stop? Honestly, you are an insane person. Will you stop? Honestly, you are an insane person.
876 00:38:29,831 00:38:31,489 I don't care about what rehab you've done. I don't care about what rehab you've done.
877 00:38:31,499 00:38:33,223 Do you understand? Do you understand?
878 00:38:33,233 00:38:35,593 Dude, you killed two people. Dude, you killed two people.
879 00:38:35,603 00:38:36,615 Rachel. Rachel.
880 00:38:36,626 00:38:39,730 What? I mean, what were you thinking? How do you even do that? What? I mean, what were you thinking? How do you even do that?
881 00:38:42,242 00:38:43,742 Because you told me to. Because you told me to.
882 00:38:45,579 00:38:46,612 What? What?
883 00:38:49,082 00:38:51,850 No way. No way. I was upset. No way. No way. I was upset.
884 00:38:53,453 00:38:54,744 I was venting to you. I was venting to you.
885 00:38:54,754 00:38:56,230 Come on, Rach. You know me. Come on, Rach. You know me.
886 00:38:56,241 00:38:58,415 You knew that I'd do something. You wanted me to. You knew that I'd do something. You wanted me to.
887 00:38:58,425 00:39:00,650 No. No. No. No.
888 00:39:00,660 00:39:03,061 I did it to keep you out of jail, Rachel. I did it to keep you out of jail, Rachel.
889 00:39:05,465 00:39:06,856 'Cause I still love you. 'Cause I still love you.
890 00:39:06,866 00:39:08,866 DR. - Hey. DR. - Hey.
891 00:39:10,734 00:39:11,890 Everything okay? Everything okay?
892 00:39:13,840 00:39:15,965 Yeah. Everything's fine. Yeah. Everything's fine.
893 00:39:15,975 00:39:17,241 - Yeah? - Mm-hmm. - Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
894 00:39:19,612 00:39:20,878 I'll see you, Rach. I'll see you, Rach.
895 00:39:23,015 00:39:24,116 Yeah. Yeah.
896 00:39:24,347 00:39:28,049 Listen, um, I just want to make sure you're all right. Listen, um, I just want to make sure you're all right.
897 00:39:30,132 00:39:32,059 Really? Why do you even care, okay? Really? Why do you even care, okay?
898 00:39:32,070 00:39:33,570 You're not even here for me. You're not even here for me.
899 00:39:40,435 00:39:41,935 Are you here for me? Are you here for me?
900 00:39:46,011 00:39:48,003 - Oh, my God. - Okay, Ra... - Oh, my God. - Okay, Ra...
901 00:40:03,588 00:40:05,813 Ooh. Ooh.
902 00:40:10,228 00:40:11,819 So, how's she doing? So, how's she doing?
903 00:40:11,829 00:40:14,095 She got really drunk on the first night, She got really drunk on the first night,
904 00:40:14,106 00:40:15,990 made out with a guy, and then cut him. made out with a guy, and then cut him.
905 00:40:16,000 00:40:19,167 Not the suitress... Quinn. Not the suitress... Quinn.
906 00:40:21,338 00:40:23,163 I don't think she's got it anymore. I don't think she's got it anymore.
907 00:40:23,173 00:40:25,307 - Oh, really. - Unh-unh. - Oh, really. - Unh-unh.
908 00:40:30,281 00:40:33,107 So... do you want to jump to the part So... do you want to jump to the part
909 00:40:33,117 00:40:36,343 where she starts talking about her dream wedding or...? where she starts talking about her dream wedding or...?
910 00:40:36,353 00:40:37,878 No. No.
911 00:40:37,888 00:40:39,346 Go back. Go back.
912 00:40:41,292 00:40:42,535 Okay. Okay.
913 00:40:42,546 00:40:44,418 I'm really, really good at my job, I'm really, really good at my job,
914 00:40:44,428 00:40:46,953 and I don't want to have to apologize for that. and I don't want to have to apologize for that.
915 00:40:46,963 00:40:48,629 Put that in. Put that in.
916 00:40:49,621 00:40:50,956 Are you sure? Are you sure?
917 00:40:50,966 00:40:52,324 Absolutely. Absolutely.
918 00:40:54,247 00:40:56,551 - Synced and corrected by Shazi89 - - www.addic7ed.com - - Synced and corrected by Shazi89 - - www.addic7ed.com -