# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:02,446 00:00:05,244 # Once in every lifetime # Once in every lifetime
2 00:00:05,926 00:00:08,440 # Comes a love like this # Comes a love like this
3 00:00:08,606 00:00:11,166 # Oh, I need you, you need me, # Oh, I need you, you need me,
4 00:00:11,326 00:00:13,886 # Oh, my darling, can't you see? # Oh, my darling, can't you see?
5 00:00:15,846 00:00:17,837 # Darling, we're the Young Ones # Darling, we're the Young Ones
6 00:00:19,286 00:00:20,605 # The Young Ones # The Young Ones
7 00:00:21,166 00:00:23,282 # (RICK) Shouldn't be afraid # (RICK) Shouldn't be afraid
8 00:00:24,646 00:00:27,285 # To live, love # To live, love
9 00:00:27,446 00:00:29,914 # There's a song to be sung # There's a song to be sung
10 00:00:30,086 00:00:34,045 # 'Cause we may not be the Young Ones very long # # 'Cause we may not be the Young Ones very long #
11 00:00:37,326 00:00:39,920 Come on, Neil, stick it on the fridge. Come on, Neil, stick it on the fridge.
12 00:00:40,086 00:00:44,602 Michael'll be here any minute. No, wrong direction. Fridge! Michael'll be here any minute. No, wrong direction. Fridge!
13 00:00:44,766 00:00:48,395 Just stick it up on the top. On the top. Quickly! Just stick it up on the top. On the top. Quickly!
14 00:00:49,566 00:00:53,115 - Oh, terrific (!) - The whole back's come off. - Oh, terrific (!) - The whole back's come off.
15 00:00:53,286 00:00:55,516 That's Michael's television, you... That's Michael's television, you...
16 00:01:13,046 00:01:17,085 Well, what do you think, Mike? Pretty tidy, eh? Well, what do you think, Mike? Pretty tidy, eh?
17 00:01:17,446 00:01:21,485 Not a bad job. Seeing as how it took 16 hours of continuous hard labour Not a bad job. Seeing as how it took 16 hours of continuous hard labour
18 00:01:21,646 00:01:26,162 without help from certain unnamed people, i.e. Vyvyan and Neil. without help from certain unnamed people, i.e. Vyvyan and Neil.
19 00:01:26,326 00:01:30,035 - I resent that. - Oh, shut up, you never stop talking! - I resent that. - Oh, shut up, you never stop talking!
20 00:01:30,206 00:01:35,326 - That's what stopped us working! - All right, all right, it's not bad at all. - That's what stopped us working! - All right, all right, it's not bad at all.
21 00:01:36,166 00:01:37,918 (MIKE) Ah-ah! (MIKE) Ah-ah!
22 00:01:38,246 00:01:40,157 What's that? What's that?
23 00:01:40,326 00:01:43,124 - (Vyvyan!) - Er, that's Vyvyan's job. - (Vyvyan!) - Er, that's Vyvyan's job.
24 00:01:43,286 00:01:48,155 And making the punch. He's only doing two jobs 'cause he hasn't got many friends. And making the punch. He's only doing two jobs 'cause he hasn't got many friends.
25 00:01:49,686 00:01:51,802 He's got loads of friends! He's got loads of friends!
26 00:01:51,966 00:01:55,720 Yes, but apparently he doesn't like any of them. Yes, but apparently he doesn't like any of them.
27 00:01:58,966 00:02:03,039 Is that why you haven't done anything, Neil? 'Cause you haven't got any friends? Is that why you haven't done anything, Neil? 'Cause you haven't got any friends?
28 00:02:03,206 00:02:06,562 - You know I've got a friend! - Oh, really? - You know I've got a friend! - Oh, really?
29 00:02:06,726 00:02:10,082 Yes, really, and he's gonna be here very soon. Yes, really, and he's gonna be here very soon.
30 00:02:10,246 00:02:14,603 Well, he better hurry if he doesn't wanna miss the party. 15 minutes and counting. Well, he better hurry if he doesn't wanna miss the party. 15 minutes and counting.
31 00:02:14,766 00:02:19,237 15 minutes? Look, this is Vyvyan's job! We're never going to be ready in time! 15 minutes? Look, this is Vyvyan's job! We're never going to be ready in time!
32 00:02:19,406 00:02:21,476 I'm right here! I'm right here!
33 00:02:21,646 00:02:25,355 I thought the vacuum looked a bit weak so I souped it up a bit. I thought the vacuum looked a bit weak so I souped it up a bit.
34 00:02:25,526 00:02:29,314 That's very good, Vyvyan. Although, it could be very bad. That's very good, Vyvyan. Although, it could be very bad.
35 00:02:29,486 00:02:31,602 Depends how you look at it. Depends how you look at it.
36 00:02:31,766 00:02:36,282 Not so good if you're a bit of dirt, but who is? Shall I do it, then? Not so good if you're a bit of dirt, but who is? Shall I do it, then?
37 00:02:36,446 00:02:38,437 That seems the only reasonable course. That seems the only reasonable course.
38 00:02:38,606 00:02:42,155 (ENGINE ROARS INTO ACTION) (ENGINE ROARS INTO ACTION)
39 00:02:47,926 00:02:49,996 (ENGINE STOPS) (ENGINE STOPS)
40 00:02:50,166 00:02:53,795 That's absolutely brilliant! You can't get any cleaner than that! That's absolutely brilliant! You can't get any cleaner than that!
41 00:02:55,006 00:02:59,363 - You've destroyed a section of the floor. - Cleaned it, Michael. - You've destroyed a section of the floor. - Cleaned it, Michael.
42 00:02:59,526 00:03:03,519 We can quibble over terms. Suffice it to say, that is one hell of a sucker. We can quibble over terms. Suffice it to say, that is one hell of a sucker.
43 00:03:03,686 00:03:07,281 - And I don't mean it's easily fooled. - It certainly can suck! - And I don't mean it's easily fooled. - It certainly can suck!
44 00:03:10,366 00:03:12,084 Stop it! Stop it!
45 00:03:12,246 00:03:14,521 It's stopped! The bag must be full. It's stopped! The bag must be full.
46 00:03:19,886 00:03:22,605 Thought so. I better empty it. Thought so. I better empty it.
47 00:03:26,526 00:03:30,724 - No! - Oh, wow! Neil! Nice one, man! - No! - Oh, wow! Neil! Nice one, man!
48 00:03:31,606 00:03:34,598 I haven't seen you since Glastonbury. How are you? I haven't seen you since Glastonbury. How are you?
49 00:03:34,766 00:03:38,281 Well, I've just been sucked up by a vacuum cleaner. Well, I've just been sucked up by a vacuum cleaner.
50 00:03:38,446 00:03:41,756 Then someone tried to knife me, but apart from that, Then someone tried to knife me, but apart from that,
51 00:03:41,926 00:03:44,440 - really terrible, actually. - Bummer! - really terrible, actually. - Bummer!
52 00:03:44,606 00:03:46,995 Yeah. Have you got any decent food? Yeah. Have you got any decent food?
53 00:03:47,686 00:03:49,961 Neil, who is this? What is it doing? Neil, who is this? What is it doing?
54 00:03:50,126 00:03:53,960 Oh, this is Neil, Rick, Rick, Neil. Just don't bring him down... Oh, this is Neil, Rick, Rick, Neil. Just don't bring him down...
55 00:03:54,126 00:03:57,004 - It's a hippie, isn't it? - Yeah. - It's a hippie, isn't it? - Yeah.
56 00:03:57,166 00:03:59,316 This isn't a youth hostel, you know! This isn't a youth hostel, you know!
57 00:03:59,486 00:04:02,796 Neil, my barely adequate psychic defences are crumbling! Neil, my barely adequate psychic defences are crumbling!
58 00:04:02,966 00:04:05,161 Look, just tell it to get out! Look, just tell it to get out!
59 00:04:05,326 00:04:08,363 This is worse than my birthday! This is worse than my birthday!
60 00:04:09,926 00:04:12,281 (JAZZ PIANO ) (JAZZ PIANO )
61 00:04:12,446 00:04:16,644 - You lookin' for me? - Hey, big boy, lookin' for action? - You lookin' for me? - Hey, big boy, lookin' for action?
62 00:04:16,806 00:04:20,003 I'm dyin' for a coffee, it would save my life. I'm dyin' for a coffee, it would save my life.
63 00:04:20,166 00:04:25,001 You wanna drink with me? It helps you for...forget. You wanna drink with me? It helps you for...forget.
64 00:04:34,246 00:04:41,163 # I been picked up by the cops So many times gone by # I been picked up by the cops So many times gone by
65 00:04:41,606 00:04:45,121 # They grill ya for an hour # They grill ya for an hour
66 00:04:45,286 00:04:48,881 # And they say you're gonna fry-y-y # And they say you're gonna fry-y-y
67 00:04:49,046 00:04:52,675 # I been skinned alive and purified # I been skinned alive and purified
68 00:04:52,846 00:04:56,759 # And cut up with a knife, oh, # And cut up with a knife, oh,
69 00:04:56,926 00:05:02,717 # I've just got to ketchup with my life # # I've just got to ketchup with my life #
70 00:05:09,006 00:05:12,681 - Where is he? - Probably shopping for decent food. - Where is he? - Probably shopping for decent food.
71 00:05:12,846 00:05:16,634 - You've vapourised my only friend, right? - No, I haven't. - You've vapourised my only friend, right? - No, I haven't.
72 00:05:16,806 00:05:20,355 That is the domestic equivalent of a black hole. You are not to use it. That is the domestic equivalent of a black hole. You are not to use it.
73 00:05:20,526 00:05:23,245 - But... - You're not to use it! - But... - You're not to use it!
74 00:05:23,406 00:05:25,840 Poof. Poof.
75 00:05:27,486 00:05:30,046 (MALE AND FEMALE GROAN) (MALE AND FEMALE GROAN)
76 00:05:30,206 00:05:32,879 - How was it for you, darling? - Electric! - How was it for you, darling? - Electric!
77 00:05:37,326 00:05:41,205 Don't eat the cornflakes, Rick, there's only one each! Don't eat the cornflakes, Rick, there's only one each!
78 00:05:41,366 00:05:43,755 You haven't made the lentil nibbles! You haven't made the lentil nibbles!
79 00:05:43,926 00:05:47,760 Oh, yeah, I know I mentioned the idea, like, in embryo, Oh, yeah, I know I mentioned the idea, like, in embryo,
80 00:05:47,926 00:05:50,759 but I could only get wooden cocktail sticks but I could only get wooden cocktail sticks
81 00:05:50,926 00:05:53,645 and why should trees die for our party? and why should trees die for our party?
82 00:05:54,246 00:05:58,637 Oh, and I suppose it's OK if a few hundred students die of starvation Oh, and I suppose it's OK if a few hundred students die of starvation
83 00:05:58,806 00:06:01,479 because you didn't do your share! because you didn't do your share!
84 00:06:01,646 00:06:05,002 There's plenty of henna dip, Rick. (DOORBELL) There's plenty of henna dip, Rick. (DOORBELL)
85 00:06:06,126 00:06:09,163 It's only 7.20! I don't know anyone that unfashionable! It's only 7.20! I don't know anyone that unfashionable!
86 00:06:09,326 00:06:13,319 It can't be one of my friends 'cause, er, well, he's here, somewhere. It can't be one of my friends 'cause, er, well, he's here, somewhere.
87 00:06:13,486 00:06:15,363 (RING) (RING)
88 00:06:15,526 00:06:17,756 Oh, Christmas trees! Oh, Christmas trees!
89 00:06:17,926 00:06:21,282 If it's one of Vyvyan's friends, I shall show them the door! If it's one of Vyvyan's friends, I shall show them the door!
90 00:06:21,446 00:06:24,438 I should think they can see it already. I should think they can see it already.
91 00:06:26,206 00:06:29,642 Oh, ha, ha, Neil! Big bloody joke! Oh, ha, ha, Neil! Big bloody joke!
92 00:06:33,086 00:06:36,556 Hello! I come from God and he said... Hello! I come from God and he said...
93 00:06:36,726 00:06:40,799 AGH! Get off! My foot! Let me in! AGH! Get off! My foot! Let me in!
94 00:06:42,246 00:06:47,001 It's a miracle! Just a moment ago, I was a useless cripple! It's a miracle! Just a moment ago, I was a useless cripple!
95 00:06:47,166 00:06:50,124 But now I can run and dance and skip! But now I can run and dance and skip!
96 00:06:50,286 00:06:53,756 Oh, thank you, God! Thank you, baby Jesus! Oh, thank you, God! Thank you, baby Jesus!
97 00:06:53,926 00:06:55,882 Look, what do you want? Look, what do you want?
98 00:06:56,046 00:06:58,196 I come from the Archangel Gabriel. I come from the Archangel Gabriel.
99 00:06:58,366 00:07:03,440 Yes, he with wings of driven snow and eyes aflame! Yes, he with wings of driven snow and eyes aflame!
100 00:07:03,606 00:07:08,157 - I bring good news for mankind. - Well, I'm afraid I don't believe in God. - I bring good news for mankind. - Well, I'm afraid I don't believe in God.
101 00:07:08,326 00:07:11,443 How do you know his name, smartass?! How do you know his name, smartass?!
102 00:07:12,486 00:07:16,843 Repent! Everyone, repent! Accept Jesus! Repent! Everyone, repent! Accept Jesus!
103 00:07:17,006 00:07:20,601 I don't mean, ''Everyone except Jesus, repent.'' I don't mean, ''Everyone except Jesus, repent.''
104 00:07:20,766 00:07:25,521 I mean, ''Accept Jesus into your life and repent at the same time.'' I mean, ''Accept Jesus into your life and repent at the same time.''
105 00:07:26,406 00:07:29,125 Have you said yes, hippie? Have you said yes, hippie?
106 00:07:29,286 00:07:32,642 Oh...well, I do a lot of yoga. Oh...well, I do a lot of yoga.
107 00:07:32,806 00:07:36,037 Come, brother, let us pray together. Come, brother, let us pray together.
108 00:07:38,486 00:07:41,922 Look, do you mind going? If we'd wanted you to come in, Look, do you mind going? If we'd wanted you to come in,
109 00:07:42,086 00:07:45,715 we might've said something like, ''Oh, hi, Christian, come in!'' we might've said something like, ''Oh, hi, Christian, come in!''
110 00:07:45,886 00:07:49,083 But we didn't! So go take a running jump! But we didn't! So go take a running jump!
111 00:07:49,246 00:07:55,116 No, thank you. I'm going to sit right down here until we've all been saved. No, thank you. I'm going to sit right down here until we've all been saved.
112 00:07:56,846 00:07:58,802 - Ugh! - Oh, no! - Ugh! - Oh, no!
113 00:07:58,966 00:08:01,799 Don't look at me, I'm an agnostic! Don't look at me, I'm an agnostic!
114 00:08:03,086 00:08:08,444 - The Day of Judgement is nigh! (MIKE) Day of Judgement? - The Day of Judgement is nigh! (MIKE) Day of Judgement?
115 00:08:08,606 00:08:11,678 - Do I get a prize? - Agh! A locust! - Do I get a prize? - Agh! A locust!
116 00:08:11,846 00:08:14,519 - I'm supposed to be an ant. - Repent! - I'm supposed to be an ant. - Repent!
117 00:08:14,686 00:08:17,325 OK, how about you and me and the 'oly Ghost OK, how about you and me and the 'oly Ghost
118 00:08:17,486 00:08:21,161 go upstairs for a closer look at those moral understays, eh? go upstairs for a closer look at those moral understays, eh?
119 00:08:26,166 00:08:28,236 This should get things going! This should get things going!
120 00:08:28,406 00:08:29,998 (SLURPING) (SLURPING)
121 00:08:34,526 00:08:37,996 Behold...the Beast! Behold...the Beast!
122 00:08:39,046 00:08:41,037 Hello. Hello.
123 00:08:41,646 00:08:44,718 - Now is the worrying time! - Yes, it is, rather. - Now is the worrying time! - Yes, it is, rather.
124 00:08:44,886 00:08:47,320 - Woe! Woe! - Woe...woe... - Woe! Woe! - Woe...woe...
125 00:08:47,486 00:08:51,957 Armageddon and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Armageddon and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
126 00:08:52,126 00:08:54,082 (THUNDERCLAP) (THUNDERCLAP)
127 00:08:54,246 00:08:57,443 (Woman ) FamineI PestilenceI DeathI (Woman ) FamineI PestilenceI DeathI
128 00:08:57,606 00:09:00,200 And the other one... And the other one...
129 00:09:00,366 00:09:03,676 (HORSES NEIGH) (HORSES NEIGH)
130 00:09:04,366 00:09:06,721 Is that a seagull? Is that a seagull?
131 00:09:07,286 00:09:10,244 Famine, is that seagull a seagull? Famine, is that seagull a seagull?
132 00:09:10,406 00:09:13,603 No, Pestilence, it's a dog. No, Pestilence, it's a dog.
133 00:09:13,766 00:09:16,075 A flying dog? A flying dog?
134 00:09:16,246 00:09:19,283 Flying, er, catapult. Flying, er, catapult.
135 00:09:19,446 00:09:22,643 Flying catapult? Flying catapult?
136 00:09:22,806 00:09:25,559 - Erm... - Oh, I'm famished! - Erm... - Oh, I'm famished!
137 00:09:25,726 00:09:29,560 - So what's new? - Microchip technology. - So what's new? - Microchip technology.
138 00:09:29,726 00:09:35,722 Microchip technology...it's quite a... a new thing, isn't it? Microchip technology...it's quite a... a new thing, isn't it?
139 00:09:35,886 00:09:37,558 Really... Really...
140 00:09:38,246 00:09:41,921 There's nothing so boring as waiting for the Apocalypse. There's nothing so boring as waiting for the Apocalypse.
141 00:09:42,086 00:09:44,884 Well, except for that film. Well, except for that film.
142 00:09:45,046 00:09:49,005 - What film? - ''Chitty Chitty Bang Bang''. - What film? - ''Chitty Chitty Bang Bang''.
143 00:09:49,646 00:09:53,924 - There's bored for you. - Oh, God, I'm bored. - There's bored for you. - Oh, God, I'm bored.
144 00:09:54,086 00:09:57,044 God, I am bored. (THUNDERCLAP) God, I am bored. (THUNDERCLAP)
145 00:09:57,206 00:10:03,156 - Travel Scrabble, anybody? - No, put it over there with the others. - Travel Scrabble, anybody? - No, put it over there with the others.
146 00:10:05,686 00:10:08,075 Sometimes God can be so unimaginative. Sometimes God can be so unimaginative.
147 00:10:08,246 00:10:11,477 He's worried about his son, isn't he? He's worried about his son, isn't he?
148 00:10:11,646 00:10:15,355 - What? - He's a Born Again Christian. - What? - He's a Born Again Christian.
149 00:10:16,166 00:10:19,556 Want a game of Travel Scrabble, Death? Want a game of Travel Scrabble, Death?
150 00:10:19,726 00:10:23,435 Death? You want a game of Travel Scrabble? Death? You want a game of Travel Scrabble?
151 00:10:27,566 00:10:31,241 - He's dead. - I'll be dead soon if I don't eat. - He's dead. - I'll be dead soon if I don't eat.
152 00:10:31,406 00:10:35,035 How about a bloody sandwich? (THUNDERCLAP) How about a bloody sandwich? (THUNDERCLAP)
153 00:10:35,206 00:10:37,436 See this? See this?
154 00:10:40,406 00:10:44,365 And I beheld a medium-sized group of people And I beheld a medium-sized group of people
155 00:10:44,526 00:10:48,360 running around madly, waving their hands and shrieking, running around madly, waving their hands and shrieking,
156 00:10:48,526 00:10:53,202 ''Twelve score oxen have spent over a year in the same field!'' ''Twelve score oxen have spent over a year in the same field!''
157 00:11:06,126 00:11:08,594 Well, that's typical! Well, that's typical!
158 00:11:09,886 00:11:13,083 Five minutes to go till the most important party of my life Five minutes to go till the most important party of my life
159 00:11:13,246 00:11:16,158 and the house has been wrecked by a gigantic sandwich! and the house has been wrecked by a gigantic sandwich!
160 00:11:16,326 00:11:19,636 Well, at least it means there'll be something to eat now. Well, at least it means there'll be something to eat now.
161 00:11:21,246 00:11:23,282 - Eugh! - What? - Eugh! - What?
162 00:11:23,446 00:11:25,437 It's meat! It's meat!
163 00:11:26,286 00:11:30,996 Listen, get this cleared up before the guests arrive or you're in trouble! Listen, get this cleared up before the guests arrive or you're in trouble!
164 00:11:31,166 00:11:34,238 (DOORBELL RINGS) You're in trouble! (DOORBELL RINGS) You're in trouble!
165 00:11:35,486 00:11:38,444 - Who the hell are you? - Hi, Rick, we're here for the party. - Who the hell are you? - Hi, Rick, we're here for the party.
166 00:11:41,006 00:11:42,837 It doesn't start for five minutes! It doesn't start for five minutes!
167 00:11:43,006 00:11:46,157 I told you 7.30! Are you calling me a liar? I told you 7.30! Are you calling me a liar?
168 00:11:46,326 00:11:51,161 - We can go to the pub. - That's right, piss off to the pub. - We can go to the pub. - That's right, piss off to the pub.
169 00:11:51,326 00:11:54,841 - I thought you were my friends. - It's only five minutes. - I thought you were my friends. - It's only five minutes.
170 00:11:55,006 00:11:58,282 ''It's only five minutes!'' Tell that to Roger Bannister! ''It's only five minutes!'' Tell that to Roger Bannister!
171 00:11:59,406 00:12:02,762 - Roger, it's only five minutes. - Oh, really? How interesting. - Roger, it's only five minutes. - Oh, really? How interesting.
172 00:12:02,926 00:12:05,042 (DOORBELL) (DOORBELL)
173 00:12:05,206 00:12:08,801 - Is this Mike's house? - He is a member of the commune, yes. - Is this Mike's house? - He is a member of the commune, yes.
174 00:12:08,966 00:12:12,197 Oh, come in, then, make yourselves at bloody home! Oh, come in, then, make yourselves at bloody home!
175 00:12:13,006 00:12:15,725 - It's a bit smelly! - Smells like a gents. - It's a bit smelly! - Smells like a gents.
176 00:12:15,886 00:12:18,320 - Gent's what? - Wait, wait! - Gent's what? - Wait, wait!
177 00:12:18,486 00:12:20,875 Sit over there till the party's ready! Sit over there till the party's ready!
178 00:12:22,686 00:12:25,678 Italian chair designers are so uncompromising now. Italian chair designers are so uncompromising now.
179 00:12:25,846 00:12:28,406 Yeah, looks like a sandwich. Yeah, looks like a sandwich.
180 00:12:28,566 00:12:31,842 What on earth do you think you're doing?! What on earth do you think you're doing?!
181 00:12:32,006 00:12:34,395 - Well... - Just put that down! - Well... - Just put that down!
182 00:12:34,566 00:12:38,764 Three minutes to go! Are you an alcoholic or something?! Three minutes to go! Are you an alcoholic or something?!
183 00:12:38,926 00:12:41,156 This isn't a refugee camp! This isn't a refugee camp!
184 00:12:43,366 00:12:46,085 (DOORBELL) Stay there! Nobody move! (DOORBELL) Stay there! Nobody move!
185 00:12:50,486 00:12:52,602 Hi, girls. Hi, girls.
186 00:12:54,886 00:12:56,842 Didn't hurt at all! Didn't hurt at all!
187 00:12:57,366 00:13:00,039 Wanna see how many press-ups I can do? Wanna see how many press-ups I can do?
188 00:13:03,366 00:13:05,482 Christ's sake! Christ's sake!
189 00:13:07,446 00:13:10,643 Oh... Hello, Dr Morrison! Oh... Hello, Dr Morrison!
190 00:13:11,126 00:13:14,118 I didn't think you'd make it. Oh, thanks. I didn't think you'd make it. Oh, thanks.
191 00:13:14,286 00:13:17,995 I'm glad you did. I've been meaning to talk to you about Trotsky. I'm glad you did. I've been meaning to talk to you about Trotsky.
192 00:13:18,166 00:13:21,841 I've got some trousers like yours. Great, aren't they? I've got some trousers like yours. Great, aren't they?
193 00:13:22,006 00:13:24,998 - Yeah. - Oh, look at me being stupid. Come in. - Yeah. - Oh, look at me being stupid. Come in.
194 00:13:25,166 00:13:27,726 - How did you get here? - In my car. - How did you get here? - In my car.
195 00:13:27,886 00:13:29,877 Huh, amazing! Huh, amazing!
196 00:13:31,166 00:13:34,397 Erm...do you know everyone? Erm... Erm...do you know everyone? Erm...
197 00:13:34,566 00:13:36,557 Can I get you a drink? Can I get you a drink?
198 00:13:36,726 00:13:39,286 - Yeah, beer. - Right. Small cup? - Yeah, beer. - Right. Small cup?
199 00:13:39,446 00:13:42,199 Hi, John. Hi, Sue. Hi, John. Hi, Sue.
200 00:13:43,646 00:13:45,477 Hi! Hi!
201 00:13:45,646 00:13:48,797 Jim Morrison, Sociology. Jim Morrison, Sociology.
202 00:13:48,966 00:13:51,878 Hey, nobody's drinking. Hey, nobody's drinking.
203 00:13:52,046 00:13:54,685 The party hasn't started yet. The party hasn't started yet.
204 00:13:55,446 00:13:57,755 Rick, has the party not started yet? Rick, has the party not started yet?
205 00:13:57,926 00:14:01,362 Er, yes, yes, of course it has! Er, yes, yes, of course it has!
206 00:14:01,526 00:14:06,236 I don't know what's wrong with you lot! First you don't want a drink, then you do! I don't know what's wrong with you lot! First you don't want a drink, then you do!
207 00:14:06,406 00:14:08,840 You're all completely potty! You're all completely potty!
208 00:14:09,006 00:14:11,440 Here, get stuck into that lot! Here, get stuck into that lot!
209 00:14:14,086 00:14:17,681 Oh, that's my flatmate, Vyvyan. Hi, Vyvyan, what are you doing? Oh, that's my flatmate, Vyvyan. Hi, Vyvyan, what are you doing?
210 00:14:18,206 00:14:21,596 Shut up, you girl! (RICK LAUGHS LOUDLY) Shut up, you girl! (RICK LAUGHS LOUDLY)
211 00:14:22,326 00:14:25,443 He's incredible! I'm not a girl at all! He's incredible! I'm not a girl at all!
212 00:14:26,726 00:14:30,162 Mind you, we're all pretty potty in this house! Mind you, we're all pretty potty in this house!
213 00:14:30,326 00:14:34,524 Last night, we were all watching the TV, it was a programme we liked, Last night, we were all watching the TV, it was a programme we liked,
214 00:14:34,686 00:14:39,077 and we were just watching it and right in the middle, I got up and turned it off! and we were just watching it and right in the middle, I got up and turned it off!
215 00:14:39,606 00:14:41,085 Mad! Mad!
216 00:14:42,406 00:14:45,079 I don't care what I do, y'know. I don't care what I do, y'know.
217 00:14:45,246 00:14:48,716 Unless it's work or anything like that, you know. Unless it's work or anything like that, you know.
218 00:14:48,886 00:14:52,037 Last Wednesday, we stayed up till 1 o'clock in the morning. Last Wednesday, we stayed up till 1 o'clock in the morning.
219 00:14:54,766 00:14:57,519 OK! Pop music! Let's go! OK! Pop music! Let's go!
220 00:14:57,686 00:15:00,405 Anyone here like the Human League? Anyone here like the Human League?
221 00:15:00,566 00:15:02,522 OK! OK!
222 00:15:02,686 00:15:05,280 (MUSIC PLAYS QUIETLY) (MUSIC PLAYS QUIETLY)
223 00:15:09,486 00:15:13,399 Right, the music's too loud! The neighbours have been complaining! Right, the music's too loud! The neighbours have been complaining!
224 00:15:13,966 00:15:16,878 You just watch your step, sonny! You just watch your step, sonny!
225 00:15:24,446 00:15:27,597 - Phew! - Pigs, huh! - Phew! - Pigs, huh!
226 00:15:27,766 00:15:31,998 - Fascists! - Yeah! I'd really like to join the police! - Fascists! - Yeah! I'd really like to join the police!
227 00:15:32,166 00:15:33,884 Shut up! Shut up!
228 00:15:36,526 00:15:39,996 - Er...anyone got a straight? - A what? - Er...anyone got a straight? - A what?
229 00:15:40,166 00:15:43,317 - A cigarette. - Oh, sure. - A cigarette. - Oh, sure.
230 00:15:43,486 00:15:45,397 Oh, great bag! Oh, great bag!
231 00:15:45,566 00:15:48,319 It's great, isn't it? In here, are they? It's great, isn't it? In here, are they?
232 00:15:48,486 00:15:51,239 Look, it's tinted! Amazing! Look, it's tinted! Amazing!
233 00:15:52,006 00:15:54,156 You've bought me a present! You've bought me a present!
234 00:15:55,086 00:15:57,805 What is it? What do you do with it? What is it? What do you do with it?
235 00:15:57,966 00:16:00,799 No, don't tell me, don't tell me, I'll guess. No, don't tell me, don't tell me, I'll guess.
236 00:16:02,886 00:16:05,195 It's a telescope! It's a telescope!
237 00:16:06,086 00:16:09,522 A telescope with a mouse in it! Brilliant! A telescope with a mouse in it! Brilliant!
238 00:16:10,246 00:16:12,396 Dumdy, dumdy, dumdy, dum! Dumdy, dumdy, dumdy, dum!
239 00:16:12,566 00:16:16,002 Hello, Rhiannon, are you glad you could come to the party? Hello, Rhiannon, are you glad you could come to the party?
240 00:16:17,686 00:16:19,642 Have a drink, mousey! Have a drink, mousey!
241 00:16:23,846 00:16:26,076 (RICK) Oh, it's gone all big. (RICK) Oh, it's gone all big.
242 00:16:27,486 00:16:30,159 I'll get a tissue, it's all right. I'll get a tissue, it's all right.
243 00:16:30,326 00:16:32,794 There's a whole box in here! They're called... There's a whole box in here! They're called...
244 00:16:33,886 00:16:36,400 I think I'd better go to the lavatory. I think I'd better go to the lavatory.
245 00:16:39,526 00:16:43,075 - Is that the time? - No, the clock's broken. - Is that the time? - No, the clock's broken.
246 00:16:44,046 00:16:48,198 The hands keep whizzing round fast. It's only half past seven. The hands keep whizzing round fast. It's only half past seven.
247 00:16:50,686 00:16:53,325 - Hi, Mike! - Not yet, but I soon will be! - Hi, Mike! - Not yet, but I soon will be!
248 00:16:55,766 00:16:57,961 (TRUMPET NOISE) (TRUMPET NOISE)
249 00:17:01,766 00:17:03,757 Hello! Hello!
250 00:17:05,286 00:17:08,676 I must say, student parties are not what they used to be. I must say, student parties are not what they used to be.
251 00:17:11,006 00:17:14,316 Oh, wow! This is so uncool! Oh, wow! This is so uncool!
252 00:17:14,966 00:17:19,039 Wow! What is this stuff? Tobacco or...Pink Floyd? Wow! What is this stuff? Tobacco or...Pink Floyd?
253 00:17:19,766 00:17:22,803 Cryogenics! Nice one, man! Cryogenics! Nice one, man!
254 00:17:22,966 00:17:25,036 Let's see if it really works. Let's see if it really works.
255 00:17:26,446 00:17:29,006 (DOORBELL RINGS) Is that the front door? (DOORBELL RINGS) Is that the front door?
256 00:17:29,166 00:17:31,555 No, the front door's in the hall. No, the front door's in the hall.
257 00:17:32,406 00:17:36,843 - Hadn't someone better answer it? - I'll go and see what the question is! - Hadn't someone better answer it? - I'll go and see what the question is!
258 00:17:37,846 00:17:41,077 (LAUGHS) Go and see what the question is! (LAUGHS) Go and see what the question is!
259 00:17:41,246 00:17:42,964 That's marvellous! That's marvellous!
260 00:17:44,406 00:17:49,639 (BURPS) All right, mate! 'Ere, I'm sorry I ain't got no drink, (BURPS) All right, mate! 'Ere, I'm sorry I ain't got no drink,
261 00:17:49,806 00:17:52,878 I had some but I drank it all in the off-licence. I had some but I drank it all in the off-licence.
262 00:17:53,046 00:17:57,437 Tommy Balowski. Look, I've told your cousin Jerzei and now I'm telling you, Tommy Balowski. Look, I've told your cousin Jerzei and now I'm telling you,
263 00:17:57,606 00:18:00,040 if I want trouble, I'll call the police. Get lost! if I want trouble, I'll call the police. Get lost!
264 00:18:00,206 00:18:02,401 I am lost. That's why I'm here. I am lost. That's why I'm here.
265 00:18:02,566 00:18:04,761 - Can I use your toilet? - No. - Can I use your toilet? - No.
266 00:18:04,926 00:18:08,885 - I thought not so I pissed in your garden. - Go away! - I thought not so I pissed in your garden. - Go away!
267 00:18:09,046 00:18:12,118 - Eh, you know me! - Oh, yeah. - Eh, you know me! - Oh, yeah.
268 00:18:12,286 00:18:14,117 Who am I? Who am I?
269 00:18:14,286 00:18:17,596 - You're you. - Right. Wanna make somethin' of it? - You're you. - Right. Wanna make somethin' of it?
270 00:18:17,766 00:18:20,963 I don't, but if you want a fight, Neil's in the lounge. I don't, but if you want a fight, Neil's in the lounge.
271 00:18:21,126 00:18:24,277 - Are you threatening me? - Are you looking for teeth in a basket? - Are you threatening me? - Are you looking for teeth in a basket?
272 00:18:25,086 00:18:28,715 - There you are. - Cheers, I've been looking for them. - There you are. - Cheers, I've been looking for them.
273 00:18:56,766 00:19:00,395 - Looks like the party's started. - I'm looking for my prince. - Looks like the party's started. - I'm looking for my prince.
274 00:19:00,566 00:19:04,798 Maybe they're upstairs with my etchings, darling. Please, this way! Maybe they're upstairs with my etchings, darling. Please, this way!
275 00:19:06,126 00:19:10,165 Look, Neil! Look, everybody! This is supposed to be a party! Look, Neil! Look, everybody! This is supposed to be a party!
276 00:19:10,326 00:19:12,715 So for flip's sake start having fun! So for flip's sake start having fun!
277 00:19:12,886 00:19:16,162 The pigs smashed the hi-fi, we've got no music. The pigs smashed the hi-fi, we've got no music.
278 00:19:16,326 00:19:19,716 No music, my braces! What about Rip, Rig and Panic? No music, my braces! What about Rip, Rig and Panic?
279 00:19:26,806 00:19:30,321 # You're my kind of climate Swing lost paradise # You're my kind of climate Swing lost paradise
280 00:19:30,486 00:19:33,956 # Your touch, your smell, you can tell, I ain't talkin' 'bout heaven or hell # Your touch, your smell, you can tell, I ain't talkin' 'bout heaven or hell
281 00:19:34,126 00:19:37,641 # You're my kind of climate Swing lost paradise # You're my kind of climate Swing lost paradise
282 00:19:37,806 00:19:41,242 # Met a Mexican in the kitchen Rule your life by the dice # Met a Mexican in the kitchen Rule your life by the dice
283 00:19:49,446 00:19:52,438 # You got a crazy disposition # You got a crazy disposition
284 00:19:53,366 00:19:56,358 # And you always challenge tradition # And you always challenge tradition
285 00:19:56,526 00:20:00,041 # Better to travel than ever arrive Being together, side by side # Better to travel than ever arrive Being together, side by side
286 00:20:04,006 00:20:07,521 # Lost in a climate called loneliness It's a crime of passion, deep repression # Lost in a climate called loneliness It's a crime of passion, deep repression
287 00:20:11,486 00:20:15,161 # What's that whisper in your blood? The heat within rising # What's that whisper in your blood? The heat within rising
288 00:20:30,046 00:20:33,561 # You're my kind of climate Swing lost paradise # You're my kind of climate Swing lost paradise
289 00:20:33,726 00:20:37,275 # Your touch, your smell, you can tell I ain't talkin' bout heaven or hell # Your touch, your smell, you can tell I ain't talkin' bout heaven or hell
290 00:20:37,446 00:20:40,995 # You're my kind of climate Swing lost paradise # You're my kind of climate Swing lost paradise
291 00:20:41,166 00:20:44,841 # Met a Mexican in the kitchen Rule your life by the dice # # Met a Mexican in the kitchen Rule your life by the dice #
292 00:20:48,606 00:20:50,039 Yeah. OK. Yeah. OK.
293 00:20:50,366 00:20:54,518 Er, the pubs just closed so the rest of the guests should be here any moment. Er, the pubs just closed so the rest of the guests should be here any moment.
294 00:20:55,886 00:20:58,002 (LOUD CHEERING, MUSIC) (LOUD CHEERING, MUSIC)
295 00:21:13,526 00:21:17,724 Hi, Fisher, what do you want to know? Better be ready for some angry vibes! Hi, Fisher, what do you want to know? Better be ready for some angry vibes!
296 00:21:19,406 00:21:22,603 Ah! Political activist, eh? Ah! Political activist, eh?
297 00:21:24,886 00:21:30,085 - What's the last thing you blew up? - A rubber johnny, in the Union bar! - What's the last thing you blew up? - A rubber johnny, in the Union bar!
298 00:21:30,246 00:21:32,396 It was hilarious, everybody thought so. It was hilarious, everybody thought so.
299 00:21:32,566 00:21:37,686 Yeah, look... Next Tuesday, I'm gonna blow up a Panda in Croydon. Yeah, look... Next Tuesday, I'm gonna blow up a Panda in Croydon.
300 00:21:37,846 00:21:41,475 Yeah, right on! Bloody zoos! Who needs 'em? Yeah, right on! Bloody zoos! Who needs 'em?
301 00:21:42,846 00:21:45,758 No, a police car, you terminal wally! No, a police car, you terminal wally!
302 00:21:45,926 00:21:48,724 - Oh, the pigs? - Bastards! - Oh, the pigs? - Bastards!
303 00:21:48,886 00:21:50,956 Yeah! (SNORTS) Yeah! (SNORTS)
304 00:21:51,126 00:21:54,402 Specially the few bad apples that spoil their spotless image. Specially the few bad apples that spoil their spotless image.
305 00:21:54,566 00:21:58,878 If pigs could fly, Scotland Yard would be London's third airport! If pigs could fly, Scotland Yard would be London's third airport!
306 00:21:59,206 00:22:01,276 Here, listen. Here, listen.
307 00:22:01,446 00:22:05,564 I got everything ready. All I need is a plan, a bomb I got everything ready. All I need is a plan, a bomb
308 00:22:05,726 00:22:07,762 and a dedicated accomplice. and a dedicated accomplice.
309 00:22:07,926 00:22:09,996 Are you in? Are you in?
310 00:22:10,166 00:22:13,556 - You spilt your drink! - I know, I was getting bored. - You spilt your drink! - I know, I was getting bored.
311 00:22:13,726 00:22:15,876 Shall I get you another one? Cinzano? Shall I get you another one? Cinzano?
312 00:22:20,366 00:22:25,520 All right, matey? All right, I'll tell ya, I got ''war'' tattooed on this hand, All right, matey? All right, I'll tell ya, I got ''war'' tattooed on this hand,
313 00:22:25,686 00:22:28,598 and ''peace'' on this hand. and ''peace'' on this hand.
314 00:22:28,766 00:22:32,839 I got ''The Brothers Karamazov'' tattooed down me spine. I got ''The Brothers Karamazov'' tattooed down me spine.
315 00:22:33,006 00:22:36,919 But you can't see that 'cause, erm, I got me shirt on, you know. But you can't see that 'cause, erm, I got me shirt on, you know.
316 00:22:37,086 00:22:41,477 - Well, isn't it painful? - Nah, it's polyester and cotton. - Well, isn't it painful? - Nah, it's polyester and cotton.
317 00:22:42,246 00:22:45,079 No, I mean, like, having tattoos. No, I mean, like, having tattoos.
318 00:22:45,246 00:22:47,202 Nah! Nah!
319 00:22:47,806 00:22:49,842 Naaaaah! Naaaaah!
320 00:22:50,006 00:22:53,919 Naaaah! Nah, nah, God bless ya, nah. Naaaah! Nah, nah, God bless ya, nah.
321 00:22:54,086 00:22:58,602 It's not painful, it's just like having red-hot needles stuck under your skin. It's not painful, it's just like having red-hot needles stuck under your skin.
322 00:22:59,926 00:23:03,760 I once wrote a shopping list on the back of my hand. I once wrote a shopping list on the back of my hand.
323 00:23:04,846 00:23:07,679 - It was a stupid thing to do. - Why? - It was a stupid thing to do. - Why?
324 00:23:07,846 00:23:10,883 It was half-day closing. It was half-day closing.
325 00:23:11,246 00:23:13,760 - Are you a virgin? - No! No! - Are you a virgin? - No! No!
326 00:23:13,926 00:23:17,077 I'm not asking, I'm just using it as a term of abuse. I'm not asking, I'm just using it as a term of abuse.
327 00:23:17,246 00:23:19,396 You want your face flattened... You want your face flattened...
328 00:23:19,566 00:23:24,515 - Hi, Warlock! - Here, mate, get your lips round this. - Hi, Warlock! - Here, mate, get your lips round this.
329 00:23:24,686 00:23:27,120 Oh, oh, thanks, man. Oh, oh, thanks, man.
330 00:23:27,286 00:23:30,198 (DOORBELL RINGS) Oh, that's the front door. (DOORBELL RINGS) Oh, that's the front door.
331 00:23:30,366 00:23:33,324 I'll, er, I'll catch up with you in a minute. I'll, er, I'll catch up with you in a minute.
332 00:23:33,486 00:23:36,683 All right, pal, I'll be looking for you... All right, pal, I'll be looking for you...
333 00:23:38,606 00:23:41,040 Oh, no, what if it's the pigs? Oh, no, what if it's the pigs?
334 00:23:41,566 00:23:44,205 I'll just have to... I'll just have to...
335 00:23:48,486 00:23:50,317 All right, mate? All right, mate?
336 00:23:50,486 00:23:53,637 I'm, er...quite friendly with Norman. I'm, er...quite friendly with Norman.
337 00:23:53,806 00:23:56,081 No, not Norman, what's his name? Dave. No, not Norman, what's his name? Dave.
338 00:23:56,246 00:24:02,037 No, Keith, yeah, Dogger, he's a mate of, er, Del's, Mitch, yeah. No, Keith, yeah, Dogger, he's a mate of, er, Del's, Mitch, yeah.
339 00:24:02,926 00:24:07,283 Well, you know, more'n friendly, really. I'm, er, his brother. Well, you know, more'n friendly, really. I'm, er, his brother.
340 00:24:08,326 00:24:11,079 Oh, yeah, I'm his brother too! Oh, yeah, I'm his brother too!
341 00:24:11,246 00:24:13,362 We was in a car crash together. We was in a car crash together.
342 00:24:14,446 00:24:16,562 You know Chopper Chan, don't ya... You know Chopper Chan, don't ya...
343 00:24:16,726 00:24:19,194 Not Chopper, Jen... Not Chopper, Jen...
344 00:24:19,366 00:24:22,517 - Big Jen? Yeah? I'm his dad. - Her dad. - Big Jen? Yeah? I'm his dad. - Her dad.
345 00:24:22,686 00:24:26,235 - Yeah, her dad too. - Well, her dad's cousins. - Yeah, her dad too. - Well, her dad's cousins.
346 00:24:26,406 00:24:28,795 Cousins of who? Cousins of who?
347 00:24:28,966 00:24:31,002 All right! How you doing? (NEIL CHOKES) All right! How you doing? (NEIL CHOKES)
348 00:24:32,446 00:24:34,880 All right, see you later, then. All right, see you later, then.
349 00:24:35,046 00:24:37,480 I must be losing my touch. I must be losing my touch.
350 00:24:38,566 00:24:41,205 (Don't think we're gonna get in.) (Don't think we're gonna get in.)
351 00:24:41,366 00:24:43,641 (Think he's a hippie?) (Think he's a hippie?)
352 00:24:43,806 00:24:46,718 - Try something else, yeah? - All right. - Try something else, yeah? - All right.
353 00:24:50,086 00:24:53,681 You gonna let us in, or am I gonna have to call you an ambulance? You gonna let us in, or am I gonna have to call you an ambulance?
354 00:24:59,286 00:25:01,356 Bloody hell! Bloody hell!
355 00:25:15,286 00:25:17,754 Have a bang of this number, man. Have a bang of this number, man.
356 00:25:31,246 00:25:33,441 (GATECRASHER) Did you see that? (GATECRASHER) Did you see that?
357 00:25:33,606 00:25:36,996 (ASTRONAUT) This is just like that record by David Bowie. (ASTRONAUT) This is just like that record by David Bowie.
358 00:25:37,166 00:25:41,523 - What? The Jean Genie? - YesI - What? The Jean Genie? - YesI
359 00:25:41,686 00:25:44,962 Hey, look, the Planet Earth is blue and there"s nothing we can do. Hey, look, the Planet Earth is blue and there"s nothing we can do.
360 00:26:20,726 00:26:24,162 - Nice trip, man? - Far out, man. - Nice trip, man? - Far out, man.
361 00:26:24,326 00:26:26,760 Get down there! Are you frit? Get down there! Are you frit?
362 00:26:26,926 00:26:30,396 I ain't frit of nothin'! There's something down here already. I ain't frit of nothin'! There's something down here already.
363 00:26:31,446 00:26:36,679 Cor, thanks, guv, I've been stuck down there since the late 19th Century. Cor, thanks, guv, I've been stuck down there since the late 19th Century.
364 00:26:38,046 00:26:43,279 Good evening. My name's Philip and, er, this is Torquil. Good evening. My name's Philip and, er, this is Torquil.
365 00:26:43,446 00:26:49,521 Yeah, we was just looking for my tie-pin which an eagle stole when I was asleep. Yeah, we was just looking for my tie-pin which an eagle stole when I was asleep.
366 00:26:49,686 00:26:53,474 - Santa, I'm free! - You what? - Santa, I'm free! - You what?
367 00:26:53,646 00:26:56,319 Don't give us that Santa Claus routine. Don't give us that Santa Claus routine.
368 00:26:56,486 00:26:59,558 We've known for some time now that he don't exist. We've known for some time now that he don't exist.
369 00:26:59,726 00:27:01,637 - What? - I'll tell you later. - What? - I'll tell you later.
370 00:27:01,806 00:27:05,640 Not for the last 100 years or so. He's been stuck down there. Not for the last 100 years or so. He's been stuck down there.
371 00:27:05,806 00:27:09,685 Look... I'm getting well miffed with you. Look... I'm getting well miffed with you.
372 00:27:09,846 00:27:13,043 You gonna get off or have I gotta open the medicine cupboard? You gonna get off or have I gotta open the medicine cupboard?
373 00:27:13,206 00:27:16,676 How dare you! I'm a well-respected fictional character! How dare you! I'm a well-respected fictional character!
374 00:27:18,206 00:27:23,280 - Expensive-looking dress, doll. - It was a present from my godmother. - Expensive-looking dress, doll. - It was a present from my godmother.
375 00:27:24,166 00:27:26,441 Would you like me to put my hand here? Would you like me to put my hand here?
376 00:27:26,606 00:27:30,804 No, I have to go. My stepsisters will be wondering where I am. No, I have to go. My stepsisters will be wondering where I am.
377 00:27:30,966 00:27:34,481 No, stay, doll, it's only just midnight. No, stay, doll, it's only just midnight.
378 00:27:34,646 00:27:36,318 What?! What?!
379 00:27:37,446 00:27:38,765 Doll? Doll?
380 00:27:38,926 00:27:43,556 That's nothing! I kissed two girls on the lips last week! That's nothing! I kissed two girls on the lips last week!
381 00:27:43,726 00:27:47,082 Lying toe-rag! Why ain't you pregnant, then? Lying toe-rag! Why ain't you pregnant, then?
382 00:27:47,246 00:27:49,316 Well, I might be! Well, I might be!
383 00:27:49,486 00:27:53,365 But I don't care! I don't care if I live or die, mate! But I don't care! I don't care if I live or die, mate!
384 00:27:53,526 00:27:58,600 I had this friend, right...and he killed himself for the insurance money. I had this friend, right...and he killed himself for the insurance money.
385 00:27:58,766 00:28:00,802 How much did he make? How much did he make?
386 00:28:00,966 00:28:03,719 Nothing. Only third party. Nothing. Only third party.
387 00:28:03,886 00:28:07,765 - I've just been wrecking the bathroom! - Ha! Terrific! - I've just been wrecking the bathroom! - Ha! Terrific!
388 00:28:07,926 00:28:12,681 - But it's your house, Vyv. - Yeah, but it's a party, innit? - But it's your house, Vyv. - Yeah, but it's a party, innit?
389 00:28:13,086 00:28:17,682 Oh, hi! I'm Collins. I'm from the Entertainment Committee and I was... Oh, hi! I'm Collins. I'm from the Entertainment Committee and I was...
390 00:28:17,846 00:28:20,644 Hello, mate! Hello, my mate...! Hello, mate! Hello, my mate...!
391 00:28:20,806 00:28:24,879 - Sorry? - You and me against the world, mate! - Sorry? - You and me against the world, mate!
392 00:28:25,046 00:28:28,755 The bastards, eh? We'll get 'em, eh? The bastards, eh? We'll get 'em, eh?
393 00:28:28,926 00:28:32,396 'Ere, come 'ere, come 'ere, come 'ere. 'Ere, come 'ere, come 'ere, come 'ere.
394 00:28:32,566 00:28:34,875 I'll tell ya something, right. I'll tell ya something, right.
395 00:28:35,046 00:28:38,482 Between you and me, I think I'm gonna be sick! Between you and me, I think I'm gonna be sick!
396 00:28:39,486 00:28:43,957 I've got a great idea! Why don't we set off all the fire extinguishers?! I've got a great idea! Why don't we set off all the fire extinguishers?!
397 00:28:44,126 00:28:45,445 Yeah! Yeah!
398 00:28:46,086 00:28:48,998 No, wait! Back! Back! No, wait! Back! Back!
399 00:28:50,686 00:28:53,200 We haven't got any fire extinguishers. We haven't got any fire extinguishers.
400 00:28:53,846 00:28:56,155 Hi! I'm Colllns. Hi! I'm Colllns.
401 00:28:56,326 00:29:01,195 I'm from Ents and I've been asked to compile jokes for this year's Rag Mag. I'm from Ents and I've been asked to compile jokes for this year's Rag Mag.
402 00:29:01,366 00:29:05,154 Do you know any good jokes? It's for charity, you know. Do you know any good jokes? It's for charity, you know.
403 00:29:05,726 00:29:07,956 Yeah! Here's a good one. Yeah! Here's a good one.
404 00:29:09,286 00:29:12,483 Here, you and you, put him on that stretcher, Here, you and you, put him on that stretcher,
405 00:29:12,646 00:29:16,559 and put his feet in the fire. You, bring me my surgical kit! and put his feet in the fire. You, bring me my surgical kit!
406 00:29:16,726 00:29:20,719 I've thought of a great new party game! Dissection! I've thought of a great new party game! Dissection!
407 00:29:20,886 00:29:22,444 You stay there! You stay there!
408 00:29:22,606 00:29:25,040 Scalpel! Scalpel!
409 00:29:26,486 00:29:28,442 Down the chimney, you runt! Down the chimney, you runt!
410 00:29:28,606 00:29:30,801 Bloody students! Bloody students!
411 00:29:31,446 00:29:33,721 (GATECRASHER) Help! (GATECRASHER) Help!
412 00:29:36,166 00:29:40,717 - HELP! HELP! - Help, I'm stuck! - HELP! HELP! - Help, I'm stuck!
413 00:29:40,886 00:29:43,195 Get me an aspirin! Get me an aspirin!
414 00:29:43,366 00:29:47,484 You seen my new girlfriend, with the expensive dress? You seen my new girlfriend, with the expensive dress?
415 00:29:47,646 00:29:49,364 I've made her a present. I've made her a present.
416 00:29:55,566 00:29:58,239 I don't know! We're so decadent! I don't know! We're so decadent!
417 00:29:58,406 00:30:02,319 - Ho-de-ho! Ho-de-ho! - Fascist! - Ho-de-ho! Ho-de-ho! - Fascist!
418 00:30:02,486 00:30:05,159 (THUD ON WALL) That'll be the neighbours! (THUD ON WALL) That'll be the neighbours!
419 00:30:05,326 00:30:08,045 Shut up, you old witch! Shut up, you old witch!
420 00:30:10,326 00:30:14,683 - Oh, dear, oh, dear! - Has something happened? - Oh, dear, oh, dear! - Has something happened?
421 00:30:14,846 00:30:19,715 I don't like people who stick blunt objects forcefully into my ear. I don't like people who stick blunt objects forcefully into my ear.
422 00:30:19,886 00:30:23,117 - It's terrible when that happens. - Yeah, terrible. - It's terrible when that happens. - Yeah, terrible.
423 00:30:23,286 00:30:26,483 Perhaps you'd like to help us...beat you up! Perhaps you'd like to help us...beat you up!
424 00:30:26,646 00:30:28,443 Eh? Eh?
425 00:30:28,606 00:30:30,915 Kill the hippie! Kill the hippie!
426 00:30:31,086 00:30:33,122 (SCREAMING AND SHOUTING) (SCREAMING AND SHOUTING)
427 00:30:38,966 00:30:42,003 STOP IT! YOU'RE ALL HOOLIGANS! STOP IT! YOU'RE ALL HOOLIGANS!
428 00:30:42,166 00:30:44,919 Don't hit me! I'm a vegetarian, man! Don't hit me! I'm a vegetarian, man!
429 00:30:49,806 00:30:53,640 Oh...! Oh, it was all a dream. Oh...! Oh, it was all a dream.
430 00:30:54,046 00:30:55,923 Fancy that. Phew! Fancy that. Phew!
431 00:31:42,366 00:31:44,755 Kill the hippieI Kill the hippieI
432 00:31:44,926 00:31:47,235 Oh, no! This is the dream! Oh, no! This is the dream!
433 00:31:47,406 00:31:48,885 (SCREAMING) (SCREAMING)