# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:03,487 00:00:06,047 # Once in every lifetime # Once in every lifetime
2 00:00:06,207 00:00:08,721 # Comes a love like this # Comes a love like this
3 00:00:08,887 00:00:11,196 # I need you, you need me # I need you, you need me
4 00:00:11,367 00:00:13,835 # Oh, my darling, can't you see? # Oh, my darling, can't you see?
5 00:00:16,047 00:00:18,038 # Darling, we're the Young Ones # Darling, we're the Young Ones
6 00:00:19,127 00:00:21,163 # The Young Ones # The Young Ones
7 00:00:21,327 00:00:23,477 # (RICK) Shouldn't be afraid # (RICK) Shouldn't be afraid
8 00:00:24,407 00:00:26,125 # To live # To live
9 00:00:26,287 00:00:27,561 # Love # Love
10 00:00:27,727 00:00:29,558 # There's a song to be sung # There's a song to be sung
11 00:00:29,727 00:00:32,241 # 'Cause we may not be the Young Ones # 'Cause we may not be the Young Ones
12 00:00:32,407 00:00:34,284 # Very long... # # Very long... #
13 00:00:42,327 00:00:45,524 (RICK) Oh, bloody heck! Is this the new house? (RICK) Oh, bloody heck! Is this the new house?
14 00:00:45,687 00:00:47,518 (NEIL) I think it's beautiful. (NEIL) I think it's beautiful.
15 00:00:47,687 00:00:49,757 (MIKE) Makes a change from the old one. (MIKE) Makes a change from the old one.
16 00:00:49,927 00:00:52,122 (VYVYAN) It's not razed to the ground. (VYVYAN) It's not razed to the ground.
17 00:00:52,287 00:00:54,676 (RICK) It looks like a gigantic lavatory! (RICK) It looks like a gigantic lavatory!
18 00:00:54,847 00:00:58,965 Be fair. It's got a letterbox. That'll come in really useful. Be fair. It's got a letterbox. That'll come in really useful.
19 00:00:59,127 00:01:01,118 (RICK) What for? (RICK) What for?
20 00:01:01,287 00:01:04,643 - Looking out of when people knock. - Nice front door. - Looking out of when people knock. - Nice front door.
21 00:01:04,807 00:01:09,323 - We had one in the last house. - But it was nailed to the ceiling! - We had one in the last house. - But it was nailed to the ceiling!
22 00:01:09,487 00:01:13,560 - It had to be done. - Yeah, I had to...I was drunk. - It had to be done. - Yeah, I had to...I was drunk.
23 00:01:13,727 00:01:15,718 Just give me the key. Just give me the key.
24 00:01:21,367 00:01:24,996 Now, watch this very closely. Now, watch this very closely.
25 00:01:30,647 00:01:34,037 You see? I used to be a cat burglar. You see? I used to be a cat burglar.
26 00:01:34,207 00:01:35,959 I didn't know that. I didn't know that.
27 00:01:36,167 00:01:41,002 Yeah, I've got a Swiss bank account with 2,000 cats in it! Come on! Yeah, I've got a Swiss bank account with 2,000 cats in it! Come on!
28 00:01:45,647 00:01:50,323 - More bloody students! - Shut up and put some clothes on! - More bloody students! - Shut up and put some clothes on!
29 00:01:54,447 00:01:56,915 Wow, look at all these letters! Wow, look at all these letters!
30 00:01:57,087 00:02:00,841 Mr Balowski said the last lot only moved out yesterday. Mr Balowski said the last lot only moved out yesterday.
31 00:02:01,007 00:02:04,204 - They did. They were illiterate. - They were philosophy students. - They did. They were illiterate. - They were philosophy students.
32 00:02:04,367 00:02:06,323 So? So?
33 00:02:06,487 00:02:09,524 Anyway, they're probably bills. Anyway, they're probably bills.
34 00:02:10,767 00:02:13,327 Who's Bill? Who's Bill?
35 00:02:15,167 00:02:17,556 - This is my bedroom! - Oh, yeah? - This is my bedroom! - Oh, yeah?
36 00:02:17,727 00:02:20,116 I was here first! I was here first!
37 00:02:21,407 00:02:25,036 - Got any witnesses? - I don't need any. Get out! - Got any witnesses? - I don't need any. Get out!
38 00:02:25,207 00:02:26,560 No! No!
39 00:02:26,727 00:02:28,718 Get...out! Get...out!
40 00:02:37,127 00:02:41,120 This must be my bedroom - all my clothes are here. This must be my bedroom - all my clothes are here.
41 00:02:45,047 00:02:47,481 No, they're not, Vyvyan. No, they're not, Vyvyan.
42 00:02:55,847 00:02:58,884 - Right, have the bedroom! - It's not mine. - Right, have the bedroom! - It's not mine.
43 00:02:59,047 00:03:01,038 - Yes, it is. - It isn't. - Yes, it is. - It isn't.
44 00:03:01,207 00:03:03,880 - You said it was yours. - So did you. - You said it was yours. - So did you.
45 00:03:04,047 00:03:05,844 - I didn't. - Did! - I didn't. - Did!
46 00:03:06,007 00:03:07,326 - Didn't! - Did! - Didn't! - Did!
47 00:03:07,487 00:03:10,320 Didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't! Didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't!
48 00:03:12,447 00:03:14,597 Neil, your bedroom's on fire! Neil, your bedroom's on fire!
49 00:03:14,767 00:03:17,361 I thought this was my bedroom. I thought this was my bedroom.
50 00:03:17,527 00:03:19,518 Oh, no! Oh, no!
51 00:03:22,767 00:03:25,361 - This is my bedroom! - Caption. - This is my bedroom! - Caption.
52 00:03:25,527 00:03:27,165 Thank you. Thank you.
53 00:04:03,447 00:04:06,564 (GIRL ON TAPE) Oh, MikeI Oh, no, don"t stopI (GIRL ON TAPE) Oh, MikeI Oh, no, don"t stopI
54 00:04:06,727 00:04:09,560 Oh, oh, yeahI Oh, yeahI Oh, oh, yeahI Oh, yeahI
55 00:04:16,367 00:04:17,800 Hi, kid. Hi, kid.
56 00:04:23,887 00:04:26,799 - You're Buddy Holly. - That's right! - You're Buddy Holly. - That's right!
57 00:04:26,967 00:04:30,403 You know, I just love your English beetles. You know, I just love your English beetles.
58 00:04:30,567 00:04:34,401 After 20 years of the suckers, I ain't got much choice. After 20 years of the suckers, I ain't got much choice.
59 00:04:36,487 00:04:41,402 - I thought you were dead. - It ain't harmed my career any! - I thought you were dead. - It ain't harmed my career any!
60 00:04:41,567 00:04:46,197 No, oh, no... You got any new material? No, oh, no... You got any new material?
61 00:04:46,367 00:04:51,600 It just so happens I've been writing a song up here, concerning my diet, It just so happens I've been writing a song up here, concerning my diet,
62 00:04:51,767 00:04:54,440 called ''Coo, Coo, Daddy Longlegs''. Wanna hear it? called ''Coo, Coo, Daddy Longlegs''. Wanna hear it?
63 00:04:54,607 00:04:56,598 - Oh, yeah! - Right now? - Oh, yeah! - Right now?
64 00:04:56,767 00:04:59,520 There's no point hanging around. There's no point hanging around.
65 00:05:05,327 00:05:09,206 # Saturday night hanging around for a bite # Saturday night hanging around for a bite
66 00:05:09,367 00:05:12,245 # Find a real cutey with the dustmite blues... # # Find a real cutey with the dustmite blues... #
67 00:05:12,407 00:05:14,716 Records and tapes. Records and tapes.
68 00:05:14,887 00:05:16,878 Videos. Videos.
69 00:05:17,047 00:05:18,719 Overseas sales. Overseas sales.
70 00:05:18,887 00:05:20,798 Cable TV. Cable TV.
71 00:05:20,967 00:05:24,084 Plus 60% McCartney, 40% me. Plus 60% McCartney, 40% me.
72 00:05:24,247 00:05:27,239 There's gotta be 25 million in this. There's gotta be 25 million in this.
73 00:05:28,007 00:05:31,283 # Cranefly pie with a mosquito side salad # Cranefly pie with a mosquito side salad
74 00:05:31,447 00:05:34,837 # 23 years on a meat-free diet # 23 years on a meat-free diet
75 00:05:35,007 00:05:38,443 # Beetles, crickets gonna get you sickies # Beetles, crickets gonna get you sickies
76 00:05:38,607 00:05:41,917 # Here's a little sucker and you ought to try it # Here's a little sucker and you ought to try it
77 00:05:42,087 00:05:45,716 # Coo, coo, Daddy Longlegs # Coo, coo, Daddy Longlegs
78 00:05:45,887 00:05:49,402 # Hope it makes more money than ''Peggy Sue'' # Hope it makes more money than ''Peggy Sue''
79 00:05:49,567 00:05:51,364 # Ha, ha, ha... # # Ha, ha, ha... #
80 00:05:51,807 00:05:53,399 Aaaargh! Aaaargh!
81 00:06:02,247 00:06:04,602 I'll get a few quid on the guitar. I'll get a few quid on the guitar.
82 00:06:08,007 00:06:13,843 Lucky they told me my room was on fire. I might've gone to sleep and burned to death. Lucky they told me my room was on fire. I might've gone to sleep and burned to death.
83 00:06:14,007 00:06:19,365 Not that I sleep much anyway, 'cause I spend my time in the kitchen. Not that I sleep much anyway, 'cause I spend my time in the kitchen.
84 00:06:19,527 00:06:22,519 Hello, kitchen, hello! Hello, kitchen, hello!
85 00:06:22,687 00:06:24,359 My name's Neil. My name's Neil.
86 00:06:24,527 00:06:28,964 Don't bother remembering it, 'cause I'll be dead soon anyway. Don't bother remembering it, 'cause I'll be dead soon anyway.
87 00:06:33,247 00:06:34,566 Great! Great!
88 00:06:36,607 00:06:40,520 The only thing left is the teapot, and that's filthy. The only thing left is the teapot, and that's filthy.
89 00:06:40,687 00:06:45,442 Thanks, Mr Balowski, for the oldest, dirtiest teapot in the world! Thanks, Mr Balowski, for the oldest, dirtiest teapot in the world!
90 00:06:50,247 00:06:52,238 Oh, wow! Oh, wow!
91 00:06:52,887 00:06:55,685 Just look at all this mess. Just look at all this mess.
92 00:06:55,847 00:07:01,126 I wish, just once, just once, this wouldn't happen to me. I wish, just once, just once, this wouldn't happen to me.
93 00:07:06,287 00:07:09,006 Oh...yeah... Oh...yeah...
94 00:07:09,647 00:07:11,319 That's very Zen. That's very Zen.
95 00:07:11,927 00:07:13,326 Hi, Neil. Hi, Neil.
96 00:07:14,207 00:07:18,723 Is this some sort of sick joke? Why isn't supper ready? Is this some sort of sick joke? Why isn't supper ready?
97 00:07:18,887 00:07:22,197 - You haven't done a thing! - Sorry, Vyvyan. - You haven't done a thing! - Sorry, Vyvyan.
98 00:07:22,367 00:07:25,677 Considering none of you helped me unpack or do anything, Considering none of you helped me unpack or do anything,
99 00:07:25,847 00:07:28,998 and considering I'm not feeling very well today actually, and considering I'm not feeling very well today actually,
100 00:07:29,167 00:07:30,919 no, it's not ready. no, it's not ready.
101 00:07:31,087 00:07:36,002 I haven't got six pairs of hands. I wish I had, but I haven't. I haven't got six pairs of hands. I wish I had, but I haven't.
102 00:07:37,407 00:07:39,398 Oh, wow, I have! Oh, wow, I have!
103 00:07:42,567 00:07:44,205 Yes...yeah! Yes...yeah!
104 00:07:44,367 00:07:46,801 Yeah, of course. Yeah! Yeah, of course. Yeah!
105 00:07:46,967 00:07:50,516 I've got six pairs of hands! Look, it's amazing! I've got six pairs of hands! Look, it's amazing!
106 00:07:50,687 00:07:54,805 Neil, where's that emergency tin of spaghetti hoops we brought? Neil, where's that emergency tin of spaghetti hoops we brought?
107 00:07:54,967 00:07:59,119 Rick, Rick! You're gonna freak, man! Rick, Rick! You're gonna freak, man!
108 00:08:01,047 00:08:03,880 You haven't even made the tea, Neil! You haven't even made the tea, Neil!
109 00:08:04,047 00:08:05,366 Neil? Neil?
110 00:08:06,287 00:08:10,075 Brilliant! I'll have to make my own bloody tea! Brilliant! I'll have to make my own bloody tea!
111 00:08:10,247 00:08:13,683 Rick, come and look at this! You're gonna freak! Rick, come and look at this! You're gonna freak!
112 00:08:14,607 00:08:16,882 (GENIE) Aaargh! (GENIE) Aaargh!
113 00:08:17,567 00:08:21,321 I've got six pairs of hands! I'm Krishna! I've got six pairs of hands! I'm Krishna!
114 00:08:22,087 00:08:25,238 Dear, oh, dear. You'd do anything to impress me. Dear, oh, dear. You'd do anything to impress me.
115 00:08:25,407 00:08:27,318 Where's Vyvyan? Where's Vyvyan?
116 00:08:30,087 00:08:31,406 Vyvyan! Vyvyan!
117 00:08:32,247 00:08:34,477 There you are, Vyvyan. There you are, Vyvyan.
118 00:08:34,647 00:08:37,286 - Could I have a word with you? - No. - Could I have a word with you? - No.
119 00:08:37,447 00:08:40,280 Just a little piece of information. Just a little piece of information.
120 00:08:40,447 00:08:44,520 Why did you throw the toilet out of the window? Why did you throw the toilet out of the window?
121 00:08:44,687 00:08:48,726 - To lower the rent. - Yes, of course. Stupid old me! - To lower the rent. - Yes, of course. Stupid old me!
122 00:08:48,887 00:08:52,846 Just one other thing. What are you talking about? Just one other thing. What are you talking about?
123 00:08:53,007 00:08:58,081 Now we can go to the rent tribunal. You pay less for an outside lavvy. Now we can go to the rent tribunal. You pay less for an outside lavvy.
124 00:08:58,247 00:09:01,205 Really? Well, I don't believe you. Really? Well, I don't believe you.
125 00:09:01,367 00:09:05,997 You did it on purpose 'cause you know I've a runny bottom. You did it on purpose 'cause you know I've a runny bottom.
126 00:09:06,927 00:09:09,885 Is Neil gonna make the supper or not? Is Neil gonna make the supper or not?
127 00:09:10,047 00:09:15,360 You better ask him that! I'm a bit more interested in my bottom! You better ask him that! I'm a bit more interested in my bottom!
128 00:09:15,927 00:09:19,681 Neil! Neil! Let's not beat about the bush... Neil! Neil! Let's not beat about the bush...
129 00:09:19,847 00:09:23,283 Will you make supper, or shall I kick your teeth in? Will you make supper, or shall I kick your teeth in?
130 00:09:23,447 00:09:26,564 - Where you going with that sack? - Nowhere. - Where you going with that sack? - Nowhere.
131 00:09:26,727 00:09:29,525 - Is that your dirty washing? - No! - Is that your dirty washing? - No!
132 00:09:29,687 00:09:32,679 We should take all our washing when we go to the launderette. We should take all our washing when we go to the launderette.
133 00:09:32,847 00:09:35,964 What about the People's Charter we drew up? What about the People's Charter we drew up?
134 00:09:36,127 00:09:38,357 Right, laundry... Right, laundry...
135 00:09:38,527 00:09:39,846 Right... Right...
136 00:09:40,007 00:09:43,602 ''None of the guys, no matter what, ''None of the guys, no matter what,
137 00:09:43,767 00:09:47,043 ''not even if they've been eaten by wild dogs...'' ''not even if they've been eaten by wild dogs...''
138 00:09:47,207 00:09:48,845 That's my clause! That's my clause!
139 00:09:49,567 00:09:54,595 ''..shall go to the launderette, without collecting everyone's gear.'' ''..shall go to the launderette, without collecting everyone's gear.''
140 00:09:54,767 00:09:56,962 Clause 83. Clause 83.
141 00:09:58,807 00:10:02,197 - ''Except for Mike.'' Sorry. - That's all right. - ''Except for Mike.'' Sorry. - That's all right.
142 00:10:02,367 00:10:06,758 I'm not going to the launderette, I'm going to the cellar...with a stiff. I'm not going to the launderette, I'm going to the cellar...with a stiff.
143 00:10:06,927 00:10:09,316 Know what I mean? Know what I mean?
144 00:10:13,647 00:10:17,117 Well, that's fair enough, then. Well, that's fair enough, then.
145 00:10:17,287 00:10:19,278 He gets worse by the minute. He gets worse by the minute.
146 00:10:19,447 00:10:21,438 At least he's not doing the washing. At least he's not doing the washing.
147 00:10:21,607 00:10:26,601 Neil, I'll give you three seconds to make supper, starting now! Neil, I'll give you three seconds to make supper, starting now!
148 00:10:26,767 00:10:28,758 Three seconds? Three seconds?
149 00:10:29,647 00:10:30,966 One! One!
150 00:10:32,207 00:10:33,526 Two! Two!
151 00:10:34,527 00:10:38,884 - What do you fancy, Vyv? - Three! Where's my supper? - What do you fancy, Vyv? - Three! Where's my supper?
152 00:10:39,047 00:10:41,880 It's not quite finished yet, actually... It's not quite finished yet, actually...
153 00:10:44,247 00:10:48,365 That's right, Neil, yes! Lounge around, have a good time! That's right, Neil, yes! Lounge around, have a good time!
154 00:10:48,527 00:10:51,803 While we starve to death! Beatnik! While we starve to death! Beatnik!
155 00:10:51,967 00:10:55,403 And you've broken my favourite plate! And you've broken my favourite plate!
156 00:10:55,567 00:10:58,957 Suppose we'll have to cook our own supper. Suppose we'll have to cook our own supper.
157 00:11:04,807 00:11:06,923 - What was that? - What? - What was that? - What?
158 00:11:09,327 00:11:10,965 Nothing. Nothing.
159 00:11:11,127 00:11:14,483 My mind's beginning to play tricks with me. My mind's beginning to play tricks with me.
160 00:11:14,647 00:11:17,605 I thought we were lying on a raft just now. I thought we were lying on a raft just now.
161 00:11:19,687 00:11:21,803 You should take it easy. You should take it easy.
162 00:11:21,967 00:11:24,481 You must be working too hard. You must be working too hard.
163 00:11:26,727 00:11:29,719 - Bloody hot, isn't it? - It is. - Bloody hot, isn't it? - It is.
164 00:11:31,407 00:11:34,956 Should get a lower wattage bulb. Should get a lower wattage bulb.
165 00:11:36,127 00:11:38,721 Help! We're sinking! We're sinking! Help! We're sinking! We're sinking!
166 00:11:38,887 00:11:44,007 Relax. We're not sinking. We're not sinking. Relax. We're not sinking. We're not sinking.
167 00:11:45,927 00:11:48,919 I'll get some fresh air in here. I'll get some fresh air in here.
168 00:11:51,127 00:11:53,800 (SEAGULLS SCREECHING) (SEAGULLS SCREECHING)
169 00:11:59,047 00:12:01,242 Oh, that's better. Oh, that's better.
170 00:12:09,367 00:12:10,766 Er...? Er...?
171 00:12:10,927 00:12:12,599 What's the matter? What's the matter?
172 00:12:12,767 00:12:14,758 Nothing, nothing. Nothing, nothing.
173 00:12:15,447 00:12:18,166 Can you swim at all? Can you swim at all?
174 00:12:18,327 00:12:19,646 What?! What?!
175 00:12:19,807 00:12:22,241 - I was just wondering. - Wondering? - I was just wondering. - Wondering?
176 00:12:22,407 00:12:25,319 I wondered if you'd swim to the chemists I wondered if you'd swim to the chemists
177 00:12:25,487 00:12:28,160 and get me something for my hallucinations. and get me something for my hallucinations.
178 00:12:29,087 00:12:30,918 Have you had one, too? Have you had one, too?
179 00:12:31,087 00:12:35,160 Either that or the whole town has flooded. Either that or the whole town has flooded.
180 00:12:36,007 00:12:37,326 No... No...
181 00:12:37,487 00:12:41,082 You're right, we've been working too hard. You're right, we've been working too hard.
182 00:12:41,247 00:12:44,000 I haven't had a holiday for over a year. I haven't had a holiday for over a year.
183 00:12:44,167 00:12:46,681 What about this? What about this?
184 00:12:46,847 00:12:48,599 You what? You what?
185 00:12:48,767 00:12:51,235 This, a holiday? This, a holiday?
186 00:12:51,407 00:12:54,638 Two weeks in a cellar under a lightbulb?! Two weeks in a cellar under a lightbulb?!
187 00:12:55,447 00:12:59,156 - Well, it was all I could get. - All you could get! - Well, it was all I could get. - All you could get!
188 00:12:59,327 00:13:02,478 - Do me a favour! - What? - Do me a favour! - What?
189 00:13:02,647 00:13:06,799 Check and see if that really was an hallucination outside. Check and see if that really was an hallucination outside.
190 00:13:14,807 00:13:16,365 How'd you get here? How'd you get here?
191 00:13:16,527 00:13:20,440 You'd have to ask my parents, they wouldn't tell me. You'd have to ask my parents, they wouldn't tell me.
192 00:13:20,607 00:13:23,758 Would you mind looking after my buddy? Would you mind looking after my buddy?
193 00:13:25,247 00:13:29,559 All right, so it was a bad joke. But then death isn't funny! All right, so it was a bad joke. But then death isn't funny!
194 00:13:33,167 00:13:35,556 This is revolting! This is revolting!
195 00:13:36,367 00:13:41,122 It's amazing what you can come up with with just flour and water. It's amazing what you can come up with with just flour and water.
196 00:13:42,607 00:13:44,757 Yeah...glue! Yeah...glue!
197 00:13:53,807 00:13:56,685 What is that little white dot? What is that little white dot?
198 00:13:57,487 00:13:59,603 It's a little white dot. It's a little white dot.
199 00:13:59,767 00:14:01,917 Oh, very clever! Oh, very clever!
200 00:14:02,087 00:14:05,079 Must be a really old telly. Must be a really old telly.
201 00:14:05,247 00:14:06,646 What, hippie? What, hippie?
202 00:14:07,487 00:14:10,479 Look, it's a sign, that little white dot. Look, it's a sign, that little white dot.
203 00:14:10,647 00:14:13,957 It means something really heavy. It means something really heavy.
204 00:14:14,127 00:14:17,961 It means there's no more telly. It means there's no more telly.
205 00:14:18,127 00:14:21,039 It's time to go to bed. It's time to go to bed.
206 00:14:25,087 00:14:30,639 I'm going upstairs now to finish my astrological star chart. I'm going upstairs now to finish my astrological star chart.
207 00:14:40,207 00:14:43,085 Has anyone ever been even slightly interested Has anyone ever been even slightly interested
208 00:14:43,247 00:14:46,876 in anything you ever say or do, Neil? in anything you ever say or do, Neil?
209 00:14:48,447 00:14:50,165 Fascist! Fascist!
210 00:14:52,647 00:14:55,923 Oh... Are you going to bed, Vyvyan? Oh... Are you going to bed, Vyvyan?
211 00:14:56,087 00:15:00,080 No. I'm gonna watch the dot for a bit longer. No. I'm gonna watch the dot for a bit longer.
212 00:15:01,327 00:15:05,366 Wish we had a video, then I could watch it in the morning. Wish we had a video, then I could watch it in the morning.
213 00:15:07,127 00:15:09,800 Oh, well. Nightie-night! Oh, well. Nightie-night!
214 00:15:10,847 00:15:14,044 (ANNOUNCER) And don"t forget to unplug your set. (ANNOUNCER) And don"t forget to unplug your set.
215 00:15:14,207 00:15:17,563 - Why? (ANNOUNCER) "Cause it"ll blow up. - Why? (ANNOUNCER) "Cause it"ll blow up.
216 00:15:18,327 00:15:19,726 Great! Great!
217 00:15:25,087 00:15:27,601 It's never gonna blow up. It's never gonna blow up.
218 00:15:27,767 00:15:30,520 I think I'll play ''Murder in the Dark''. I think I'll play ''Murder in the Dark''.
219 00:15:30,687 00:15:32,757 (BANGING AND CRASHING) (BANGING AND CRASHING)
220 00:15:39,487 00:15:41,955 I could've made a fortune if I'd turned pro. I could've made a fortune if I'd turned pro.
221 00:15:42,127 00:15:44,482 But for me, it's the sport that matters. But for me, it's the sport that matters.
222 00:15:44,647 00:15:49,243 - Neil, can you throw my ball back? - Oh...OK. - Neil, can you throw my ball back? - Oh...OK.
223 00:15:49,687 00:15:51,678 (WINDOW SMASHING) (WINDOW SMASHING)
224 00:15:51,847 00:15:53,565 Howzat?! Howzat?!
225 00:15:55,167 00:15:56,725 Aaargh! Aaargh!
226 00:15:56,887 00:15:58,206 Aaargh! Aaargh!
227 00:15:59,087 00:16:02,636 Aaargh! Who's been using my toothpaste? Aaargh! Who's been using my toothpaste?
228 00:16:02,807 00:16:05,241 Vyv was typing and used it as Tippex. Vyv was typing and used it as Tippex.
229 00:16:05,407 00:16:07,079 Bastard! Bastard!
230 00:16:10,887 00:16:15,278 - Why are you outside my room? - There's only the floor to sit on. - Why are you outside my room? - There's only the floor to sit on.
231 00:16:15,447 00:16:19,918 Very funny! It's clever to laugh when three million people are on the dole? Very funny! It's clever to laugh when three million people are on the dole?
232 00:16:20,087 00:16:22,078 Yeah. Yeah.
233 00:16:22,487 00:16:25,160 Move away, I want to get in my room. Move away, I want to get in my room.
234 00:16:25,327 00:16:27,397 - You're not dressed for it. - What? - You're not dressed for it. - What?
235 00:16:27,567 00:16:29,842 All right, I won't stand on convention. All right, I won't stand on convention.
236 00:16:30,007 00:16:34,364 - That'll be a fiver for the room. - �5 to get in my own room?! - That'll be a fiver for the room. - �5 to get in my own room?!
237 00:16:34,527 00:16:37,485 What, have you turned it into a roller disco? What, have you turned it into a roller disco?
238 00:16:37,647 00:16:39,638 Uncanny! Uncanny!
239 00:16:40,367 00:16:43,484 Look, do you mind all just going, please? Look, do you mind all just going, please?
240 00:16:43,647 00:16:47,276 Sorry to be a party pooper, but I want get undressed. Sorry to be a party pooper, but I want get undressed.
241 00:16:47,447 00:16:51,645 Look, man. Either strut your stuff or bog off! Look, man. Either strut your stuff or bog off!
242 00:16:51,807 00:16:53,798 Right! This is it! Right! This is it!
243 00:16:53,967 00:16:56,162 Everybody listen to me! Everybody listen to me!
244 00:16:56,327 00:16:58,443 Watch it! Watch it! Watch it! Watch it!
245 00:17:07,287 00:17:10,723 Sorry, guv'nor. Apples and pears, tit for tat! Sorry, guv'nor. Apples and pears, tit for tat!
246 00:17:10,887 00:17:14,323 And I was at Violet's funeral. And I was at Violet's funeral.
247 00:17:14,487 00:17:19,959 This little Herbert has been bothering the gentlemen and ladies, This little Herbert has been bothering the gentlemen and ladies,
248 00:17:20,127 00:17:24,484 whilst they were shaking their booties, know what I mean? whilst they were shaking their booties, know what I mean?
249 00:17:24,647 00:17:27,798 Gentle, Slobber, I don't want the punters getting upset. Gentle, Slobber, I don't want the punters getting upset.
250 00:17:27,967 00:17:30,197 Mike, you bastard! Mike, you bastard!
251 00:17:30,367 00:17:33,643 (NEIL) Next time, throw the paper out, too, Vyvyan! (NEIL) Next time, throw the paper out, too, Vyvyan!
252 00:17:33,807 00:17:37,038 - Neil, help! - I can't, Rick. - Neil, help! - I can't, Rick.
253 00:17:37,207 00:17:42,327 Because now is the time to finish painting my astrological chart. Because now is the time to finish painting my astrological chart.
254 00:17:43,727 00:17:47,083 That'll do, Slobber. That'll do. That'll do, Slobber. That'll do.
255 00:17:47,247 00:17:52,685 I'm sorry. If I was to make an exception, who'd respect me then? I'm sorry. If I was to make an exception, who'd respect me then?
256 00:17:52,847 00:17:55,998 I'm going to call the pigs, actually. See what they'll say. I'm going to call the pigs, actually. See what they'll say.
257 00:17:56,167 00:17:59,364 Wise up, Rick, this world is like a burnt steak. Wise up, Rick, this world is like a burnt steak.
258 00:17:59,527 00:18:04,476 Small, tough and the chips are always stacked against you. Small, tough and the chips are always stacked against you.
259 00:18:06,207 00:18:10,519 You're always so pleased with yourself! So bloody clever! You're always so pleased with yourself! So bloody clever!
260 00:18:10,687 00:18:13,804 Yeah. I've arranged for you to share Neil's bedroom. Yeah. I've arranged for you to share Neil's bedroom.
261 00:18:13,967 00:18:18,324 What?! I'm not sharing a room with that rubber johnny! What?! I'm not sharing a room with that rubber johnny!
262 00:18:19,327 00:18:21,204 All right, Neil, shut up. All right, Neil, shut up.
263 00:18:21,367 00:18:23,881 I tossed a coin for the bed, and you lost! I tossed a coin for the bed, and you lost!
264 00:18:24,047 00:18:27,483 Completely fair, ask Mike. So shut up! Completely fair, ask Mike. So shut up!
265 00:18:27,647 00:18:29,922 OK, Rick. OK, Rick.
266 00:18:30,087 00:18:32,601 What? What did you just say? What? What did you just say?
267 00:18:32,767 00:18:35,725 - You just called me a bastard. - No. - You just called me a bastard. - No.
268 00:18:35,887 00:18:41,996 You better not, 'cause me, Mike and Vyvyan are pretty sick of you. You better not, 'cause me, Mike and Vyvyan are pretty sick of you.
269 00:18:42,527 00:18:45,087 Urgh! Why are your sheets all sticky? Urgh! Why are your sheets all sticky?
270 00:18:45,247 00:18:49,035 - It's probably just the red paint. - But... Aaargh! - It's probably just the red paint. - But... Aaargh!
271 00:18:51,047 00:18:52,480 OK, Neil? OK, Neil?
272 00:18:52,647 00:18:57,482 It may seem heavy-handed for �1.50, but I expect to get my loans back. It may seem heavy-handed for �1.50, but I expect to get my loans back.
273 00:18:58,247 00:19:02,604 (VYVYAN) I've struck oil! We're gonna be rich! I found oil in the cellar. (VYVYAN) I've struck oil! We're gonna be rich! I found oil in the cellar.
274 00:19:02,767 00:19:05,042 - For heaven's sake! - Easy, easy! - For heaven's sake! - Easy, easy!
275 00:19:05,207 00:19:07,084 Spill the beans, Vyv. Spill the beans, Vyv.
276 00:19:07,247 00:19:10,796 It's very simple. I was playing ''Murder in the Dark'' in the cellar. It's very simple. I was playing ''Murder in the Dark'' in the cellar.
277 00:19:10,967 00:19:15,563 I was getting bored, so I thought, ''I'll crack the floor with my head.'' I was getting bored, so I thought, ''I'll crack the floor with my head.''
278 00:19:15,727 00:19:17,957 Then, this huge spurt of oil came out. Then, this huge spurt of oil came out.
279 00:19:18,127 00:19:20,357 This could be very big. Family-size. This could be very big. Family-size.
280 00:19:20,527 00:19:23,917 - Tonight we sleep on it. - What? All four on one spurt? - Tonight we sleep on it. - What? All four on one spurt?
281 00:19:24,087 00:19:28,046 We're gonna be rich. House meeting, tomorrow, 9 o'clock, broom cupboard. We're gonna be rich. House meeting, tomorrow, 9 o'clock, broom cupboard.
282 00:19:28,207 00:19:33,235 Neil? I want that �1.50 by Wednesday or another moose dies. Neil? I want that �1.50 by Wednesday or another moose dies.
283 00:19:47,087 00:19:52,878 Dear me, Mum. I know our job is to serve the young gentlemen. Dear me, Mum. I know our job is to serve the young gentlemen.
284 00:19:53,047 00:19:57,802 But I'm sure young Master Neil do treat us rough. But I'm sure young Master Neil do treat us rough.
285 00:19:57,967 00:20:00,925 So he should, Lucy, for we love it. So he should, Lucy, for we love it.
286 00:20:01,087 00:20:03,601 The complete negation of our personality, The complete negation of our personality,
287 00:20:03,767 00:20:06,964 the mind-numbing servility and the 18-hour day, the mind-numbing servility and the 18-hour day,
288 00:20:07,127 00:20:11,166 and we expect no reward but a staircase over our heads. and we expect no reward but a staircase over our heads.
289 00:20:11,327 00:20:14,399 Oh, dear, yes, Lucy. We love it. Oh, dear, yes, Lucy. We love it.
290 00:20:14,567 00:20:19,118 The personal abuse is our lot, and the further back you go, the better. The personal abuse is our lot, and the further back you go, the better.
291 00:20:19,527 00:20:23,361 Now, everyone, the masters are coming to beat us. Now, everyone, the masters are coming to beat us.
292 00:20:23,527 00:20:28,078 Not a peep out of you, or you'll have me to answer to! Not a peep out of you, or you'll have me to answer to!
293 00:20:39,687 00:20:41,006 Tsk! Tsk!
294 00:20:42,807 00:20:47,597 Strange that Mike wants a meeting in here. I've never been here before. Strange that Mike wants a meeting in here. I've never been here before.
295 00:20:47,767 00:20:50,759 That's because this is where we keep the cleaning stuff. That's because this is where we keep the cleaning stuff.
296 00:20:50,927 00:20:54,522 No, it's because we only moved in here yesterday! No, it's because we only moved in here yesterday!
297 00:20:54,687 00:20:58,760 I'm surprised anyone except me knows this place even exists. I'm surprised anyone except me knows this place even exists.
298 00:20:58,927 00:21:04,047 Because although to you lot I seem to have as much importance as... Because although to you lot I seem to have as much importance as...
299 00:21:04,207 00:21:05,925 Erm... As a...? Erm... As a...?
300 00:21:06,087 00:21:07,918 - A hippie! - A hippie. - A hippie! - A hippie.
301 00:21:08,087 00:21:12,717 - It's me that does all the cleaning. - Moan, moan, boring! - It's me that does all the cleaning. - Moan, moan, boring!
302 00:21:12,887 00:21:16,880 Just because you do a little bit of housework! Just because you do a little bit of housework!
303 00:21:17,047 00:21:20,357 What? A little bit? All right... What? A little bit? All right...
304 00:21:20,527 00:21:23,644 - House meeting. - This IS a house meeting! - House meeting. - This IS a house meeting!
305 00:21:23,807 00:21:27,561 That's what I'm saying. Is it? Where's Mike and Vyvyan? That's what I'm saying. Is it? Where's Mike and Vyvyan?
306 00:21:27,727 00:21:33,040 Late! We're only on time because you kept me awake all night ringing bells. Late! We're only on time because you kept me awake all night ringing bells.
307 00:21:33,207 00:21:37,564 Listen, man, sleep gives you cancer. Everyone knows that. Listen, man, sleep gives you cancer. Everyone knows that.
308 00:21:37,727 00:21:42,562 Listen, do you know the difference between you and some Number Twos? Listen, do you know the difference between you and some Number Twos?
309 00:21:42,727 00:21:45,002 Nothing! Nothing!
310 00:21:45,167 00:21:49,319 - Oh, stop crying! - I've got dust in my sinuses. - Oh, stop crying! - I've got dust in my sinuses.
311 00:21:49,487 00:21:52,684 That'll teach you to stop skiving on the cleaning! That'll teach you to stop skiving on the cleaning!
312 00:21:52,847 00:21:54,644 - Oh, no... - What? - Oh, no... - What?
313 00:21:54,807 00:21:56,923 - I'm gonna sneeze. - Neil, no! - I'm gonna sneeze. - Neil, no!
314 00:21:57,087 00:21:59,726 - I am. I always do. - No! - I am. I always do. - No!
315 00:22:07,287 00:22:10,279 Sorry about that, it always happens. Sorry about that, it always happens.
316 00:22:11,927 00:22:14,521 Here they are, El Presidente! Here they are, El Presidente!
317 00:22:15,447 00:22:17,756 Stop the insurgence! Stop the insurgence!
318 00:22:18,367 00:22:22,076 I'll teach you to try and assassinate the President. I'll teach you to try and assassinate the President.
319 00:22:22,247 00:22:24,238 El Presidente! El Presidente!
320 00:22:27,367 00:22:31,599 - What the ruddy heck is going on? - Shut your face, traitor. - What the ruddy heck is going on? - Shut your face, traitor.
321 00:22:33,807 00:22:35,638 Ha! Missed both my legs! Ha! Missed both my legs!
322 00:22:35,807 00:22:37,126 Shut up! Shut up!
323 00:22:38,367 00:22:41,677 Who's been sticking chewing gum on the floor? Who's been sticking chewing gum on the floor?
324 00:22:42,127 00:22:44,595 - Silence. - Silence! - Silence. - Silence!
325 00:22:46,527 00:22:48,757 - Gentlemen, good morning. - Good morning. - Gentlemen, good morning. - Good morning.
326 00:22:48,927 00:22:53,284 Glad you all made it, 'cause if not, you wouldn't be here. Glad you all made it, 'cause if not, you wouldn't be here.
327 00:22:53,447 00:22:57,360 - Why were you in the broom cupboard? - Good question! - Why were you in the broom cupboard? - Good question!
328 00:22:57,527 00:22:59,483 For a house meeting. For a house meeting.
329 00:22:59,647 00:23:02,002 - Impossible. - Impossible! - Impossible. - Impossible!
330 00:23:03,407 00:23:07,639 Because Colonel Vyvyan and I had a house meeting 15 minutes ago. Because Colonel Vyvyan and I had a house meeting 15 minutes ago.
331 00:23:07,807 00:23:09,957 I'm afraid, under the new regulations, I'm afraid, under the new regulations,
332 00:23:10,127 00:23:12,721 non-attendance is punishable by death. non-attendance is punishable by death.
333 00:23:12,887 00:23:15,355 Ha-ha-ha! Death! Ha-ha-ha! Death!
334 00:23:16,527 00:23:20,122 I'd overlook this, but unfortunately you are responsible I'd overlook this, but unfortunately you are responsible
335 00:23:20,287 00:23:22,596 for certain other criminal activity. for certain other criminal activity.
336 00:23:22,767 00:23:25,076 - Namely loitering with intent... - Good one! - Namely loitering with intent... - Good one!
337 00:23:25,247 00:23:26,919 ..conspiring in the broom cupboard... ..conspiring in the broom cupboard...
338 00:23:27,087 00:23:28,406 Brilliant! Brilliant!
339 00:23:28,567 00:23:31,525 ..damaging police equipment. ..damaging police equipment.
340 00:23:32,967 00:23:35,003 However, I, El Presidente... However, I, El Presidente...
341 00:23:35,167 00:23:36,759 Viva El Presidente! Viva El Presidente!
342 00:23:37,687 00:23:41,202 I'm prepared to offer a free amnesty, if you behave I'm prepared to offer a free amnesty, if you behave
343 00:23:41,367 00:23:44,962 and go down to the cellar and dig up the oil. and go down to the cellar and dig up the oil.
344 00:23:45,127 00:23:48,085 Fascist junta! Fascist junta!
345 00:23:48,727 00:23:52,356 You do want to be incredibly rich, don't you? You do want to be incredibly rich, don't you?
346 00:23:52,527 00:23:55,803 Yes, but why can't you dig as well? Yes, but why can't you dig as well?
347 00:23:55,967 00:23:58,640 - That is fab, Rick. - Fab! - That is fab, Rick. - Fab!
348 00:23:58,807 00:24:01,560 So what do I say to the Saudis? So what do I say to the Saudis?
349 00:24:01,727 00:24:07,120 ''Hello, King Faud, I've got a sample of oil for you...all over my shirt. ''Hello, King Faud, I've got a sample of oil for you...all over my shirt.
350 00:24:07,287 00:24:11,565 ''You wouldn't have a tin of Swarfega about the palace, your mightiness?'' ''You wouldn't have a tin of Swarfega about the palace, your mightiness?''
351 00:24:11,727 00:24:14,560 Wise up, he'd chop my hands off! Wise up, he'd chop my hands off!
352 00:24:14,727 00:24:18,720 Don't say that about the Arabs, you'll get us into trouble. Don't say that about the Arabs, you'll get us into trouble.
353 00:24:18,887 00:24:20,764 Your magnificence. Your magnificence.
354 00:24:20,927 00:24:24,078 The British Foreign Secretary has arrived, The British Foreign Secretary has arrived,
355 00:24:24,247 00:24:27,762 to offer his apology for recent press criticism to offer his apology for recent press criticism
356 00:24:27,927 00:24:29,997 of our alleged cruelty. of our alleged cruelty.
357 00:24:30,167 00:24:31,919 I will see him now. I will see him now.
358 00:24:32,087 00:24:35,636 Which bit of him would you like to see first? Which bit of him would you like to see first?
359 00:24:44,887 00:24:47,355 (BONE SPLINTERS) Sorry, Vyv. (BONE SPLINTERS) Sorry, Vyv.
360 00:24:58,447 00:25:00,358 That's OK, Neil. That's OK, Neil.
361 00:25:00,527 00:25:04,122 It was bound to happen sooner or later. It was bound to happen sooner or later.
362 00:25:11,047 00:25:13,800 You all right, Vyvyan? You all right, Vyvyan?
363 00:25:15,247 00:25:16,566 Vyvyan? Vyvyan?
364 00:25:18,007 00:25:19,406 Great! Great!
365 00:25:19,567 00:25:22,035 This is it! I've waited two hours. This is it! I've waited two hours.
366 00:25:22,207 00:25:25,279 - It's a revolution! - What do you mean, revolution? - It's a revolution! - What do you mean, revolution?
367 00:25:25,447 00:25:28,405 Revolution, blood runs, flags wave. Revolution, blood runs, flags wave.
368 00:25:28,567 00:25:32,003 Throw down your tools and throw up a barricade! Throw down your tools and throw up a barricade!
369 00:25:32,167 00:25:35,523 Come on, run into the Winter Palace... Winter Palace, Come on, run into the Winter Palace... Winter Palace,
370 00:25:35,687 00:25:38,804 and stand on tables waving bits of paper at each other. and stand on tables waving bits of paper at each other.
371 00:25:38,967 00:25:40,719 - Yes! - Yes! - Yes! - Yes!
372 00:25:40,887 00:25:43,765 ''Are you the Tsar?'' ''Yes, I am, actually.'' ''Are you the Tsar?'' ''Yes, I am, actually.''
373 00:25:43,927 00:25:46,566 BANG! BANG! ''Tough luck, fascist!'' BANG! BANG! ''Tough luck, fascist!''
374 00:25:46,727 00:25:50,242 ''That's what happens to people who aren't working class.'' ''That's what happens to people who aren't working class.''
375 00:25:50,407 00:25:53,444 Yes, yes, Neil. Listen, I've got everything ready. Yes, yes, Neil. Listen, I've got everything ready.
376 00:25:53,607 00:25:58,806 In ten minutes, there'll be a rock 'n' roll benefit in our room. In ten minutes, there'll be a rock 'n' roll benefit in our room.
377 00:25:58,967 00:26:02,562 Right at the climax, the oppressed working classes of this house, Right at the climax, the oppressed working classes of this house,
378 00:26:02,727 00:26:04,365 that's you, mainly, that's you, mainly,
379 00:26:04,527 00:26:07,644 will rise up and seize control of the state. will rise up and seize control of the state.
380 00:26:07,807 00:26:09,684 Brilliant! Revolution! Brilliant! Revolution!
381 00:26:09,847 00:26:13,044 Watch out, Norman Tebbitt! Come on! Watch out, Norman Tebbitt! Come on!
382 00:26:15,727 00:26:18,082 Aaargh! Urgh! Aaargh! Urgh!
383 00:26:18,247 00:26:22,957 - I wish they wouldn't do that. - It's passage of time, Rick. - I wish they wouldn't do that. - It's passage of time, Rick.
384 00:26:28,167 00:26:31,796 Who are you? I wanna watch ''Postman Pat''. Who are you? I wanna watch ''Postman Pat''.
385 00:26:32,927 00:26:34,565 The band, ''Radical Posture''. The band, ''Radical Posture''.
386 00:26:34,727 00:26:37,958 And my name's Alexei Yuri Gagarin Siege of Stalingrad And my name's Alexei Yuri Gagarin Siege of Stalingrad
387 00:26:38,127 00:26:40,595 Glorious Five-Year Plan Sputnik Tractor Glorious Five-Year Plan Sputnik Tractor
388 00:26:40,767 00:26:43,679 Moscow Dynamo Back Four Balowski. Moscow Dynamo Back Four Balowski.
389 00:26:43,847 00:26:46,645 Dad was a bit of a communist, know what I mean? Dad was a bit of a communist, know what I mean?
390 00:26:46,807 00:26:50,117 You're the spitting image of our landlord, Jerzei. You're the spitting image of our landlord, Jerzei.
391 00:26:50,287 00:26:52,482 Yeah, he's my uncle, actually. Yeah, he's my uncle, actually.
392 00:26:52,647 00:26:55,480 That's incredible! You're as like as two peas. That's incredible! You're as like as two peas.
393 00:26:55,647 00:26:58,639 I hate that expression. It's so patronising. I hate that expression. It's so patronising.
394 00:26:58,807 00:27:00,126 Yes. Yes.
395 00:27:00,287 00:27:05,156 It's the sort of vegetablist comment you'd expect from a dictator. It's the sort of vegetablist comment you'd expect from a dictator.
396 00:27:06,927 00:27:12,524 Well, this is it. The rock 'n' roll benefit for the oppressed workers... Well, this is it. The rock 'n' roll benefit for the oppressed workers...
397 00:27:13,847 00:27:16,884 Hi, Mike... What are you doing here? Hi, Mike... What are you doing here?
398 00:27:17,047 00:27:19,356 Never mind me, who are they? Never mind me, who are they?
399 00:27:19,527 00:27:21,961 Oh, blimey! Oh, blimey!
400 00:27:22,967 00:27:26,880 Search me. Perhaps they're friends who've just popped in to... Search me. Perhaps they're friends who've just popped in to...
401 00:27:27,047 00:27:29,641 ..play a rehearsal or something. ..play a rehearsal or something.
402 00:27:29,807 00:27:33,595 - Want to go and lie down? - I think I'd better. - Want to go and lie down? - I think I'd better.
403 00:27:37,127 00:27:38,446 Great! Great!
404 00:27:39,327 00:27:40,680 Hi, Sputnik. Hi, Sputnik.
405 00:27:40,847 00:27:43,566 Or can I call you ''Comrade''? Or can I call you ''Comrade''?
406 00:27:43,727 00:27:46,924 You know the plan? At the peak of the gig... You know the plan? At the peak of the gig...
407 00:27:47,087 00:27:50,477 ..you incite the masses, and we burn the Reichstag. ..you incite the masses, and we burn the Reichstag.
408 00:27:50,647 00:27:55,038 We burn Mike's room, anyway. And then, hey, presto! Revolution! We burn Mike's room, anyway. And then, hey, presto! Revolution!
409 00:27:55,207 00:27:58,597 Stuff the revolution, where's my 200 quid? Stuff the revolution, where's my 200 quid?
410 00:27:58,767 00:28:00,086 Er...yeah. Er...yeah.
411 00:28:00,247 00:28:03,319 I better sell some tickets, hadn't I? I better sell some tickets, hadn't I?
412 00:28:07,767 00:28:09,564 Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
413 00:28:10,807 00:28:12,126 Tickets! Tickets!
414 00:28:13,207 00:28:14,526 Anybody? Anybody?
415 00:28:15,687 00:28:18,406 Probably stuck in a queue or something! Probably stuck in a queue or something!
416 00:28:22,127 00:28:26,006 Neil...did you actually pay to get in? Neil...did you actually pay to get in?
417 00:28:26,167 00:28:28,886 No, I'm the oppressed workers, remember? No, I'm the oppressed workers, remember?
418 00:28:29,047 00:28:31,720 Yes, but this is a benefit gig. Yes, but this is a benefit gig.
419 00:28:31,887 00:28:34,196 The tickets are �200 each. The tickets are �200 each.
420 00:28:34,367 00:28:37,040 �200? That's nearly a term's grant. �200? That's nearly a term's grant.
421 00:28:37,207 00:28:40,961 This benefit is for you. In aid of you. To help you. This benefit is for you. In aid of you. To help you.
422 00:28:41,127 00:28:44,756 And you won't even pay for it. How self-centred! �200! And you won't even pay for it. How self-centred! �200!
423 00:28:44,927 00:28:47,646 I've only got 50p. I've only got 50p.
424 00:28:47,807 00:28:50,037 That'll have to do. That'll have to do.
425 00:28:50,207 00:28:53,438 It better be good, this Norman Tebbitt. It better be good, this Norman Tebbitt.
426 00:28:54,847 00:28:58,601 Whoa! OK, yeah. Great to be here at this benefit! Whoa! OK, yeah. Great to be here at this benefit!
427 00:28:58,767 00:29:00,564 Whoa! Yeah! Whoa! Yeah!
428 00:29:00,727 00:29:06,165 I'm feeling really, whoa! OK, yeah. You feeling OK, right! I'm feeling really, whoa! OK, yeah. You feeling OK, right!
429 00:29:07,487 00:29:09,045 Whoa! All right, yeah! Whoa! All right, yeah!
430 00:29:10,247 00:29:15,116 This is funky, like one big empty room here, yeah! This is funky, like one big empty room here, yeah!
431 00:29:15,687 00:29:17,279 Whoa! All right! OK! Whoa! All right! OK!
432 00:29:17,847 00:29:22,443 We're gonna do a number recently in the charts about racial harmony. We're gonna do a number recently in the charts about racial harmony.
433 00:29:22,607 00:29:28,318 About black and white people living in harmony together on pianos! About black and white people living in harmony together on pianos!
434 00:29:30,327 00:29:33,364 I might be a bit stupid, like, I might be a bit stupid, like,
435 00:29:33,527 00:29:37,805 but I know that pianos aren't gonna solve nothing, know what I mean? but I know that pianos aren't gonna solve nothing, know what I mean?
436 00:29:37,967 00:29:41,437 One thing unites us, that we all have in common, One thing unites us, that we all have in common,
437 00:29:41,607 00:29:44,963 what is it, that one thing? what is it, that one thing?
438 00:29:45,127 00:29:48,915 # It's not class or ideology Colour, creed or roots # It's not class or ideology Colour, creed or roots
439 00:29:49,087 00:29:52,682 # The only thing that unites us Is Dr Marten's boots # The only thing that unites us Is Dr Marten's boots
440 00:29:52,847 00:29:56,681 # Dr Marten gave boots to the world So that everybody could be free # Dr Marten gave boots to the world So that everybody could be free
441 00:29:56,847 00:30:02,285 # They're classless, matchless Waterproof and retail for only �19.99 # They're classless, matchless Waterproof and retail for only �19.99
442 00:30:02,887 00:30:06,402 # Soon everyone'll be wearing Those boots with the airflow soles # Soon everyone'll be wearing Those boots with the airflow soles
443 00:30:06,567 00:30:10,401 # Your boots will have a meeting And your boots will take control # Your boots will have a meeting And your boots will take control
444 00:30:10,567 00:30:14,082 # Thanks to Dr Marten Everybody moves to one beat # Thanks to Dr Marten Everybody moves to one beat
445 00:30:14,247 00:30:18,160 # Thanks to Dr Marten They'll be dancing in the street # Thanks to Dr Marten They'll be dancing in the street
446 00:30:18,327 00:30:21,364 # Now, don't you want me? # Now, don't you want me?
447 00:30:24,927 00:30:27,805 # OK, boots, do your stuff # OK, boots, do your stuff
448 00:30:47,607 00:30:51,236 # Dr Marten's, Dr Marten's, Dr Marten's boots # Dr Marten's, Dr Marten's, Dr Marten's boots
449 00:30:51,407 00:30:55,082 # Dr Marten's, Dr Marten's, Dr Marten's boots # Dr Marten's, Dr Marten's, Dr Marten's boots
450 00:30:55,247 00:30:59,286 # Dr Marten's, Dr Marten's, Dr Marten's boots! # # Dr Marten's, Dr Marten's, Dr Marten's boots! #
451 00:31:00,247 00:31:03,717 Boring! Don't you has-beens read the NME? Boring! Don't you has-beens read the NME?
452 00:31:03,887 00:31:05,798 What happened to the revolution? What happened to the revolution?
453 00:31:05,967 00:31:10,119 God! You'd think ''Devil Woman'' had never been written! God! You'd think ''Devil Woman'' had never been written!
454 00:31:10,287 00:31:13,279 What are you two doing? You should be digging for oil. What are you two doing? You should be digging for oil.
455 00:31:13,447 00:31:18,760 You realise all this loafing around has cost us one day of being rich. You realise all this loafing around has cost us one day of being rich.
456 00:31:18,927 00:31:20,246 What? What?
457 00:31:20,407 00:31:22,921 Goodness! Is that the time? Goodness! Is that the time?
458 00:32:14,367 00:32:18,280 By the way, it was a complete lie about the oil. By the way, it was a complete lie about the oil.