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#	Start	End	Original	Translated
1	00:00:08,768	00:00:11,436	[WHIRRING, GUNSHOT]	[WHIRRING, GUNSHOT]
2	00:00:13,438	00:00:16,475	[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]	[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
3	00:00:19,240	00:00:24,240	Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org M_I_SForEver	Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org M_I_SForEver
4	00:00:31,824	00:00:33,860	GAFFIGAN: Most movies... You ever talk about a movie	GAFFIGAN: Most movies... You ever talk about a movie
5	00:00:33,893	00:00:36,929	with someone that happens to have read the book?	with someone that happens to have read the book?
6	00:00:36,963	00:00:38,196	They're always so condescending.	They're always so condescending.
7	00:00:38,230	00:00:41,400	"Oh, the book was much better."	"Oh, the book was much better."
8	00:00:41,433	00:00:44,804	"Oh, really? What I enjoyed about the movie... no reading."	"Oh, really? What I enjoyed about the movie... no reading."
9	00:00:47,006	00:00:48,875	I'm thinking about getting a pet.	I'm thinking about getting a pet.
10	00:00:48,908	00:00:51,209	I'mma get a dog. You know, that's what I'mma get.	I'mma get a dog. You know, that's what I'mma get.
11	00:00:51,243	00:00:54,312	I don't like cats. I don't... Cats don't do anything.	I don't like cats. I don't... Cats don't do anything.
12	00:00:54,346	00:00:57,750	They don't... They don't have any responsibilities.	They don't... They don't have any responsibilities.
13	00:00:57,784	00:01:01,286	No, really, come on, you never heard of a guard cat.	No, really, come on, you never heard of a guard cat.
14	00:01:01,319	00:01:03,355	Or a bomb-sniffing cat.	Or a bomb-sniffing cat.
15	00:01:03,388	00:01:05,457	Or a seeing-eye cat.	Or a seeing-eye cat.
16	00:01:05,490	00:01:07,526	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
17	00:01:17,870	00:01:22,541	Pop Tarts... Can there be a simpler food item?	Pop Tarts... Can there be a simpler food item?
18	00:01:22,574	00:01:24,576	Directions on Pop Tarts. Like, if they weren't there,	Directions on Pop Tarts. Like, if they weren't there,
19	00:01:24,609	00:01:26,012	would somebody, like, put the box down?	would somebody, like, put the box down?
20	00:01:26,045	00:01:28,681	"What? I...	"What? I...
21	00:01:28,715	00:01:31,684	How do I get that goodness in me?"	How do I get that goodness in me?"
22	00:01:31,718	00:01:33,720	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
23	00:01:33,753	00:01:37,556	CHO: I told my mother when I was 14 I wanted to be a comedian.	CHO: I told my mother when I was 14 I wanted to be a comedian.
24	00:01:37,589	00:01:42,461	And she said, "Oh, maybe it's better if you just die."	And she said, "Oh, maybe it's better if you just die."
25	00:01:42,494	00:01:43,896	MANISCALCO: I like Italian delis.	MANISCALCO: I like Italian delis.
26	00:01:43,930	00:01:45,832	There's just no options.	There's just no options.
27	00:01:45,865	00:01:48,868	It just says sandwich.	It just says sandwich.
28	00:01:48,901	00:01:50,602	And there's a guy in there cutting the meat.	And there's a guy in there cutting the meat.
29	00:01:50,636	00:01:54,339	"It's going to be good."	"It's going to be good."
30	00:01:56,642	00:01:58,477	You know, when you get older, you don't know you older	You know, when you get older, you don't know you older
31	00:01:58,510	00:02:00,278	because the old stuff just happen to you.	because the old stuff just happen to you.
32	00:02:00,312	00:02:02,447	Like, you be pouring cereal and your knee will go out.	Like, you be pouring cereal and your knee will go out.
33	00:02:02,481	00:02:03,983	You'll go, "Oh."	You'll go, "Oh."
34	00:02:08,821	00:02:10,589	MULANEY: I was bullied when I was a little kid.	MULANEY: I was bullied when I was a little kid.
35	00:02:10,622	00:02:14,493	I was bullied when I was in school for being Asian-American.	I was bullied when I was in school for being Asian-American.
36	00:02:14,526	00:02:17,997	The biggest problem with that is that I am not Asian-American.	The biggest problem with that is that I am not Asian-American.
37	00:02:18,030	00:02:20,767	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
38	00:02:20,800	00:02:21,968	JOST: I feel like I'm	JOST: I feel like I'm
39	00:02:22,001	00:02:24,871	a reasonably intelligent human being.	a reasonably intelligent human being.
40	00:02:24,904	00:02:28,708	And I'd say it probably took me about six years	And I'd say it probably took me about six years
41	00:02:28,741	00:02:31,576	to realize that will.i.am	to realize that will.i.am
42	00:02:31,610	00:02:36,381	was just William with dots in it.	was just William with dots in it.
43	00:02:36,414	00:02:38,017	Anyone else have that same...	Anyone else have that same...
44	00:02:38,050	00:02:41,788	I feel like half of you right now are like, "Oh, my God.	I feel like half of you right now are like, "Oh, my God.
45	00:02:41,821	00:02:43,956	It's William with dots in it."	It's William with dots in it."
46	00:02:43,990	00:02:46,926	It's the little things we miss.	It's the little things we miss.
47	00:02:54,366	00:02:55,467	Emcee: Alright, guys, we're gonna	Emcee: Alright, guys, we're gonna
48	00:02:55,500	00:02:57,069	keep the comedy rolling here.	keep the comedy rolling here.
49	00:02:57,103	00:02:59,071	But just reminder, we got 25-cent wings	But just reminder, we got 25-cent wings
50	00:02:59,105	00:03:00,873	for the next 30 minutes	for the next 30 minutes
51	00:03:00,907	00:03:02,909	and beer buckets till 10:00.	and beer buckets till 10:00.
52	00:03:02,942	00:03:06,344	Next up is one of my favorites here at the open mic.	Next up is one of my favorites here at the open mic.
53	00:03:06,378	00:03:10,448	Put your hands together for Will Chu.	Put your hands together for Will Chu.
54	00:03:10,482	00:03:11,918	[APPLAUSE]	[APPLAUSE]
55	00:03:11,951	00:03:13,719	WILL: Every time I go to a Chinese restaurant,	WILL: Every time I go to a Chinese restaurant,
56	00:03:13,753	00:03:15,121	this is what all of my friends do to me.	this is what all of my friends do to me.
57	00:03:15,154	00:03:18,623	They're like, "Will, Will, order in Mandarin.	They're like, "Will, Will, order in Mandarin.
58	00:03:18,658	00:03:20,126	It's gonna sound hilarious.	It's gonna sound hilarious.
59	00:03:20,159	00:03:22,427	Order in Mandarin, bro. They got to hook it up."	Order in Mandarin, bro. They got to hook it up."
60	00:03:22,460	00:03:24,931	I'm like, "Bro, we're in Panda Express.	I'm like, "Bro, we're in Panda Express.
61	00:03:24,964	00:03:27,432	Her name tag says Consuela on it.	Her name tag says Consuela on it.
62	00:03:27,465	00:03:29,669	I don't think that's a Mandarin name.	I don't think that's a Mandarin name.
63	00:03:29,702	00:03:32,370	Like, what do you expect, if I order in Mandarin	Like, what do you expect, if I order in Mandarin
64	00:03:32,404	00:03:34,640	some ninja's going to pop up from behind the kitchens	some ninja's going to pop up from behind the kitchens
65	00:03:34,674	00:03:37,609	just like, 'Poof, here's your Kung Pao panda penis'"?	just like, 'Poof, here's your Kung Pao panda penis'"?
66	00:03:37,643	00:03:38,978	You know?	You know?
67	00:03:39,011	00:03:40,713	I took this tall girl to a concert, right?	I took this tall girl to a concert, right?
68	00:03:40,746	00:03:42,982	I couldn't see anything, so I was miserable.	I couldn't see anything, so I was miserable.
69	00:03:43,015	00:03:44,784	I couldn't see anything.	I couldn't see anything.
70	00:03:44,817	00:03:47,053	So I just looked up at her. I'm like, "Hey, pick me up."	So I just looked up at her. I'm like, "Hey, pick me up."
71	00:03:47,086	00:03:50,756	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
72	00:03:50,790	00:03:54,660	People are using their phone for everything except as a phone.	People are using their phone for everything except as a phone.
73	00:03:54,694	00:03:56,394	You have to text now.	You have to text now.
74	00:03:56,428	00:04:01,100	I was okay with emojis because it used to be yellow.	I was okay with emojis because it used to be yellow.
75	00:04:01,133	00:04:03,401	And I was pretty okay with that.	And I was pretty okay with that.
76	00:04:03,435	00:04:05,671	It should just stay that way.	It should just stay that way.
77	00:04:05,705	00:04:07,874	Now they have like five shades of different colors, right?	Now they have like five shades of different colors, right?
78	00:04:07,907	00:04:09,541	It's confusing.	It's confusing.
79	00:04:09,574	00:04:11,711	I was trying to text my black friend a thumbs up.	I was trying to text my black friend a thumbs up.
80	00:04:11,744	00:04:13,612	I wasn't sure if I should text him my thumbs up	I wasn't sure if I should text him my thumbs up
81	00:04:13,646	00:04:14,747	or his thumbs up.	or his thumbs up.
82	00:04:14,780	00:04:16,615	I never texted him back.	I never texted him back.
83	00:04:16,649	00:04:18,918	Thank you, guys, that's my time. I'm Will Chu.	Thank you, guys, that's my time. I'm Will Chu.
84	00:04:18,951	00:04:21,787	[APPLAUSE]	[APPLAUSE]
85	00:04:21,821	00:04:24,456	Keep it going. Yeah.	Keep it going. Yeah.
86	00:04:24,489	00:04:26,125	Good job.	Good job.
87	00:04:26,158	00:04:28,160	Thank you for waiting it out.	Thank you for waiting it out.
88	00:04:28,194	00:04:29,862	I got some jokes for you.	I got some jokes for you.
89	00:04:29,896	00:04:32,999	You ever notice how long a giraffe's neck is?	You ever notice how long a giraffe's neck is?
90	00:04:33,032	00:04:37,203	- Yeah? - Giraffe scarfs.	- Yeah? - Giraffe scarfs.
91	00:04:37,236	00:04:39,972	Sore throats. You use that. It's cute.	Sore throats. You use that. It's cute.
92	00:04:40,006	00:04:42,108	I'll... I'll try it out.	I'll... I'll try it out.
93	00:04:42,141	00:04:44,476	Oh, God, I'm full.	Oh, God, I'm full.
94	00:04:44,509	00:04:46,712	Thanks for coming.	Thanks for coming.
95	00:04:46,746	00:04:48,147	- Hey, Quinn. - Dude.	- Hey, Quinn. - Dude.
96	00:04:48,180	00:04:49,715	Dude, love your bringer.	Dude, love your bringer.
97	00:04:49,749	00:04:51,183	What retirement home did you get him from?	What retirement home did you get him from?
98	00:04:51,217	00:04:53,551	It's gotten so bad I have to invite my neighbors.	It's gotten so bad I have to invite my neighbors.
99	00:04:53,585	00:04:56,621	I'm so sick of asking people to pay to come watch me.	I'm so sick of asking people to pay to come watch me.
100	00:04:56,656	00:04:58,658	I wish I was doing "The Tonight Show,"	I wish I was doing "The Tonight Show,"
101	00:04:58,691	00:05:00,760	but you gotta keep working to take a bigger shot.	but you gotta keep working to take a bigger shot.
102	00:05:00,793	00:05:03,162	- And here we are. - Emcee: Show him some love.	- And here we are. - Emcee: Show him some love.
103	00:05:03,195	00:05:04,897	Watch me destroy.	Watch me destroy.
104	00:05:07,934	00:05:10,169	What's up, what's up, what's up? Make some noise.	What's up, what's up, what's up? Make some noise.
105	00:05:10,202	00:05:12,238	Keep it going for Will.	Keep it going for Will.
106	00:05:12,271	00:05:14,240	Your bringer didn't pay his tab.	Your bringer didn't pay his tab.
107	00:05:14,273	00:05:15,741	Are you serious?	Are you serious?
108	00:05:15,775	00:05:18,110	Yeah. And don't run the light again.	Yeah. And don't run the light again.
109	00:05:18,144	00:05:19,611	QUINN: ...Asian doctor.	QUINN: ...Asian doctor.
110	00:05:19,645	00:05:21,247	I've never seen an Asian vet.	I've never seen an Asian vet.
111	00:05:21,280	00:05:23,481	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
112	00:05:26,252	00:05:27,687	WILL: How was school?	WILL: How was school?
113	00:05:27,720	00:05:29,789	JEN: Getting them to dissect frogs was fun.	JEN: Getting them to dissect frogs was fun.
114	00:05:29,822	00:05:32,457	Getting them to wash their hands was not.	Getting them to wash their hands was not.
115	00:05:39,632	00:05:42,234	Yo, that's my ranch, right?	Yo, that's my ranch, right?
116	00:05:42,268	00:05:44,136	Yes.	Yes.
117	00:05:44,170	00:05:48,007	They asked if you wanted a side of ranch and you said no, right?	They asked if you wanted a side of ranch and you said no, right?
118	00:05:48,040	00:05:49,141	Yes.	Yes.
119	00:05:49,175	00:05:52,745	Then why are you using my ranch?	Then why are you using my ranch?
120	00:05:52,778	00:05:54,914	I knew you would get a side of ranch so I didn't have to.	I knew you would get a side of ranch so I didn't have to.
121	00:05:54,947	00:05:57,950	You are frugal. Like a old Chinese woman.	You are frugal. Like a old Chinese woman.
122	00:05:57,984	00:05:59,885	[BOTH LAUGH]	[BOTH LAUGH]
123	00:05:59,919	00:06:01,954	Speaking of which, I ordered us	Speaking of which, I ordered us
124	00:06:01,988	00:06:04,690	the 42-ounce bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.	the 42-ounce bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.
125	00:06:04,724	00:06:06,926	Why didn't you just buy four 10-ounce bags?	Why didn't you just buy four 10-ounce bags?
126	00:06:06,959	00:06:09,028	- How is that a fun Instagram? - Doing it for the Gram.	- How is that a fun Instagram? - Doing it for the Gram.
127	00:06:09,061	00:06:12,298	JEN: Mm-hmm.	JEN: Mm-hmm.
128	00:06:12,331	00:06:17,069	Hey, I just want to say I really enjoy my time with you.	Hey, I just want to say I really enjoy my time with you.
129	00:06:17,103	00:06:18,671	You make me laugh.	You make me laugh.
130	00:06:18,704	00:06:21,073	It's nice to know we're moving forward together.	It's nice to know we're moving forward together.
131	00:06:21,107	00:06:23,275	I agree.	I agree.
132	00:06:26,312	00:06:28,647	Not only are you gorgeous,	Not only are you gorgeous,
133	00:06:28,681	00:06:31,017	but I love that you eat like an eighth grader.	but I love that you eat like an eighth grader.
134	00:06:31,050	00:06:32,752	[LAUGHS]	[LAUGHS]
135	00:06:40,760	00:06:42,294	- MAN: Comedy Cellar. - WILL: Hi. I'm calling	- MAN: Comedy Cellar. - WILL: Hi. I'm calling
136	00:06:42,328	00:06:44,562	in regards to auditioning to becoming a regular.	in regards to auditioning to becoming a regular.
137	00:06:44,596	00:06:45,931	MAN: You have to have two recommendations	MAN: You have to have two recommendations
138	00:06:45,965	00:06:47,700	from two existing regulars. Who are they?	from two existing regulars. Who are they?
139	00:06:47,733	00:06:49,135	- WILL: Two existing? - MAN: Look, I got to go.	- WILL: Two existing? - MAN: Look, I got to go.
140	00:06:49,168	00:06:51,704	- Hello? Hello? - [DIAL TONE]	- Hello? Hello? - [DIAL TONE]
141	00:06:51,737	00:06:54,774	[SIGHS] Hey, Gary, can I borrow a pen?	[SIGHS] Hey, Gary, can I borrow a pen?
142	00:06:55,908	00:06:58,144	[GROANS]	[GROANS]
143	00:06:58,177	00:07:01,347	Boom. What's going on with that windshield claim?	Boom. What's going on with that windshield claim?
144	00:07:01,380	00:07:02,748	I was trying to wrap it up.	I was trying to wrap it up.
145	00:07:02,782	00:07:04,350	[IMITATES BUZZER] Wrong.	[IMITATES BUZZER] Wrong.
146	00:07:04,383	00:07:07,887	Do or do not. There is no...	Do or do not. There is no...
147	00:07:07,920	00:07:11,257	- T-There is no...? - There is no try.	- T-There is no...? - There is no try.
148	00:07:11,290	00:07:14,727	Try. Yoda. "Empire Strikes Back."	Try. Yoda. "Empire Strikes Back."
149	00:07:14,760	00:07:16,762	Looking good there, Gary.	Looking good there, Gary.
150	00:07:18,931	00:07:22,301	Yeah. Getting dirty today. I love it.	Yeah. Getting dirty today. I love it.
151	00:07:22,334	00:07:24,303	I just got a six-car pileup in from Indy.	I just got a six-car pileup in from Indy.
152	00:07:24,336	00:07:26,939	It's a mess. It's a mess. So that's been expedited,	It's a mess. It's a mess. So that's been expedited,
153	00:07:26,972	00:07:28,808	which means you're getting it expedited.	which means you're getting it expedited.
154	00:07:28,841	00:07:31,811	So I'm going to need these folders ASAP.	So I'm going to need these folders ASAP.
155	00:07:31,844	00:07:34,180	Oh, and, Will, remember I want all this stuff	Oh, and, Will, remember I want all this stuff
156	00:07:34,213	00:07:36,816	in Times New Roman at 14 point.	in Times New Roman at 14 point.
157	00:07:46,892	00:07:48,661	♪ Look up ♪	♪ Look up ♪
158	00:07:48,694	00:07:51,197	I'm trying to get my set ready to audition.	I'm trying to get my set ready to audition.
159	00:07:51,230	00:07:54,300	- Right. So, what's your plan? - WILL: I don't know.	- Right. So, what's your plan? - WILL: I don't know.
160	00:07:54,333	00:07:56,368	It's hard to get stage time with no credits.	It's hard to get stage time with no credits.
161	00:07:56,402	00:07:58,838	I've been looking for options other than Mickey's.	I've been looking for options other than Mickey's.
162	00:07:58,871	00:08:00,206	There just hasn't been anything.	There just hasn't been anything.
163	00:08:00,239	00:08:02,274	♪ I don't remember ♪	♪ I don't remember ♪
164	00:08:02,308	00:08:06,946	♪ 'Cause it's been forever since we felt good ♪	♪ 'Cause it's been forever since we felt good ♪
165	00:08:06,979	00:08:08,647	Sorry, Quinn is texting me.	Sorry, Quinn is texting me.
166	00:08:08,681	00:08:10,716	He's at the open mic and he said it's packed.	He's at the open mic and he said it's packed.
167	00:08:10,749	00:08:13,419	It's packed? You should go.	It's packed? You should go.
168	00:08:13,452	00:08:15,955	Here you go. Thanks.	Here you go. Thanks.
169	00:08:15,988	00:08:20,893	Oh, great choice. This is my favorite bear.	Oh, great choice. This is my favorite bear.
170	00:08:20,926	00:08:23,095	It's nice to see someone happy at work.	It's nice to see someone happy at work.
171	00:08:23,129	00:08:25,865	You know, when I think about my job, the only silver lining	You know, when I think about my job, the only silver lining
172	00:08:25,898	00:08:29,101	is I can't possibly hang myself in the cubicle.	is I can't possibly hang myself in the cubicle.
173	00:08:29,135	00:08:30,970	- Not funny. - Well, I thought about it.	- Not funny. - Well, I thought about it.
174	00:08:31,003	00:08:33,038	With three walls, you actually can't.	With three walls, you actually can't.
175	00:08:33,072	00:08:34,940	- JEN: Hey. - Okay, but all I'm saying	- JEN: Hey. - Okay, but all I'm saying
176	00:08:34,974	00:08:37,276	is I don't think my mother and father came here and sacrificed	is I don't think my mother and father came here and sacrificed
177	00:08:37,309	00:08:40,246	so I can end up shorting people on insurance claims.	so I can end up shorting people on insurance claims.
178	00:08:40,279	00:08:41,947	I want to be a working comic.	I want to be a working comic.
179	00:08:41,981	00:08:44,383	Basically I look at the road ahead of me right now	Basically I look at the road ahead of me right now
180	00:08:44,416	00:08:45,951	and it's in a cubicle selling things	and it's in a cubicle selling things
181	00:08:45,985	00:08:47,253	I don't believe in.	I don't believe in.
182	00:08:47,286	00:08:48,787	I'd rather see my name on the marquee,	I'd rather see my name on the marquee,
183	00:08:48,821	00:08:50,923	something I can get excited about.	something I can get excited about.
184	00:08:50,956	00:08:54,026	And enjoy, you know? Something I'm proud of.	And enjoy, you know? Something I'm proud of.
185	00:08:54,059	00:08:56,962	Oh, for an additional $6, you can get this put in.	Oh, for an additional $6, you can get this put in.
186	00:08:56,996	00:08:59,265	$6? Does it have Bluetooth?	$6? Does it have Bluetooth?
187	00:08:59,298	00:09:00,933	[CHUCKLES]	[CHUCKLES]
188	00:09:00,966	00:09:02,835	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
189	00:09:02,868	00:09:05,070	I tell you, my girlfriend caught me the other day.	I tell you, my girlfriend caught me the other day.
190	00:09:05,104	00:09:07,473	Caught me the other... just, you know what, it's just...	Caught me the other... just, you know what, it's just...
191	00:09:07,506	00:09:09,441	She just caught me. I'm secure about it.	She just caught me. I'm secure about it.
192	00:09:09,475	00:09:13,779	You just gotta keep your cool. Just do this, alright?	You just gotta keep your cool. Just do this, alright?
193	00:09:13,812	00:09:15,915	"You're next, bitch.	"You're next, bitch.
194	00:09:15,948	00:09:17,850	You like that? You like that?"	You like that? You like that?"
195	00:09:17,883	00:09:19,084	Yes, and ladies, I know it's small.	Yes, and ladies, I know it's small.
196	00:09:19,118	00:09:20,853	Joey. Joey.	Joey. Joey.
197	00:09:20,886	00:09:23,222	QUINN: But it's how the pencil writes, bitch, alright?	QUINN: But it's how the pencil writes, bitch, alright?
198	00:09:23,255	00:09:26,091	Mine can write in cursive, alright? Calligraphy.	Mine can write in cursive, alright? Calligraphy.
199	00:09:26,125	00:09:29,395	Hey. Thank you. So, Quinn wrote my name down earlier.	Hey. Thank you. So, Quinn wrote my name down earlier.
200	00:09:29,428	00:09:30,829	When can I get on?	When can I get on?
201	00:09:30,863	00:09:33,299	Well, I'm not making any promises.	Well, I'm not making any promises.
202	00:09:33,332	00:09:37,770	Sometimes I think maybe you light me just a little early.	Sometimes I think maybe you light me just a little early.
203	00:09:37,803	00:09:39,838	Well, that's when it's not going well.	Well, that's when it's not going well.
204	00:09:39,872	00:09:41,307	That's how you can tell that.	That's how you can tell that.
205	00:09:41,340	00:09:43,042	You're going to get a light at two minutes,	You're going to get a light at two minutes,
206	00:09:43,075	00:09:44,376	and then you're going to get another light.	and then you're going to get another light.
207	00:09:44,410	00:09:46,812	And the second light means get off the stage.	And the second light means get off the stage.
208	00:09:46,845	00:09:48,113	Can I go up soon?	Can I go up soon?
209	00:09:48,147	00:09:50,115	EMCEE: Keep it going for Quinn, y'all.	EMCEE: Keep it going for Quinn, y'all.
210	00:09:50,149	00:09:51,750	[SIGHS] Good set, Quinn.	[SIGHS] Good set, Quinn.
211	00:09:51,784	00:09:53,018	-Hey, thanks, pal.	-Hey, thanks, pal.
212	00:09:53,052	00:09:56,222	Hey. Oh, that was so good.	Hey. Oh, that was so good.
213	00:09:56,255	00:09:58,390	Aren't you just the cutest little thing?	Aren't you just the cutest little thing?
214	00:09:58,424	00:10:03,996	Oh, well, this cute little thing is a big bad boy.	Oh, well, this cute little thing is a big bad boy.
215	00:10:04,029	00:10:07,166	With needs that are adult like a careless whisper	With needs that are adult like a careless whisper
216	00:10:07,199	00:10:09,001	- and some booze. - WOMAN: Okay.	- and some booze. - WOMAN: Okay.
217	00:10:09,034	00:10:12,204	Do you boys want to come join us for '80s night at the Tavern?	Do you boys want to come join us for '80s night at the Tavern?
218	00:10:12,238	00:10:15,074	Oh, want to? Yeah. Dude, we'd love to.	Oh, want to? Yeah. Dude, we'd love to.
219	00:10:15,107	00:10:17,476	No, no, I got to hang out until my set.	No, no, I got to hang out until my set.
220	00:10:17,509	00:10:19,044	- But thanks. - Aww.	- But thanks. - Aww.
221	00:10:19,078	00:10:21,480	What a card. Swipe left. [LAUGHS]	What a card. Swipe left. [LAUGHS]
222	00:10:21,513	00:10:25,251	Well, nice meeting you. Let's go sit.	Well, nice meeting you. Let's go sit.
223	00:10:25,284	00:10:27,219	Are you fucking kidding me?	Are you fucking kidding me?
224	00:10:27,253	00:10:28,354	Look at these two.	Look at these two.
225	00:10:28,387	00:10:31,957	Quinn, I got a girlfriend.	Quinn, I got a girlfriend.
226	00:10:31,991	00:10:35,394	Full disclosure, I can't close without you, okay?	Full disclosure, I can't close without you, okay?
227	00:10:35,427	00:10:38,197	It's like wherever Laverne goes, Shirley follows.	It's like wherever Laverne goes, Shirley follows.
228	00:10:38,230	00:10:39,498	Dude, I need you.	Dude, I need you.
229	00:10:39,531	00:10:41,800	Okay, okay, I see where this is going.	Okay, okay, I see where this is going.
230	00:10:41,834	00:10:43,836	Why don't you just get one of the Joeys to be your wingman?	Why don't you just get one of the Joeys to be your wingman?
231	00:10:43,869	00:10:46,238	Go fuck yourself. No, dude, those fucking jabronis?	Go fuck yourself. No, dude, those fucking jabronis?
232	00:10:46,272	00:10:47,573	Look at that guy.	Look at that guy.
233	00:10:47,606	00:10:49,041	Dude, dude, neither of them have money,	Dude, dude, neither of them have money,
234	00:10:49,074	00:10:50,409	and I'll end up paying for their drinks.	and I'll end up paying for their drinks.
235	00:10:50,442	00:10:52,177	Plus I'm pretty sure they do a lot of coke,	Plus I'm pretty sure they do a lot of coke,
236	00:10:52,211	00:10:53,512	which I can't afford.	which I can't afford.
237	00:10:53,545	00:10:56,015	So please hang out with me for one beer.	So please hang out with me for one beer.
238	00:10:56,048	00:10:59,518	- Joey. - Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.	- Joey. - Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
239	00:10:59,551	00:11:01,120	- Hey Quinn. - Hey, dawg.	- Hey Quinn. - Hey, dawg.
240	00:11:01,153	00:11:03,022	Hey. Spot me a brewski?	Hey. Spot me a brewski?
241	00:11:03,055	00:11:05,491	- Yeah, sure, dawg. Sure. - Oh, hey.	- Yeah, sure, dawg. Sure. - Oh, hey.
242	00:11:05,524	00:11:07,559	You girls like blow?	You girls like blow?
243	00:11:07,593	00:11:13,299	Would you rather drink a bucket of human feces or not?	Would you rather drink a bucket of human feces or not?
244	00:11:13,332	00:11:15,334	Which one would you choose?	Which one would you choose?
245	00:11:15,367	00:11:17,403	Hey, Mickey, what time is my...	Hey, Mickey, what time is my...
246	00:11:17,436	00:11:19,071	- Hey, Joey? - Hey, what's up, Joey?	- Hey, Joey? - Hey, what's up, Joey?
247	00:11:19,104	00:11:21,273	Hey, a Jew and an Italian go into business together.	Hey, a Jew and an Italian go into business together.
248	00:11:21,307	00:11:23,242	- Uh-oh. - Who loses?	- Uh-oh. - Who loses?
249	00:11:23,275	00:11:24,343	I don't know. Who?	I don't know. Who?
250	00:11:24,376	00:11:26,145	- The government. - Oh, come on.	- The government. - Oh, come on.
251	00:11:26,178	00:11:27,913	Hey, Mick, so when can I get on?	Hey, Mick, so when can I get on?
252	00:11:27,946	00:11:29,515	I'm looking at this right now,	I'm looking at this right now,
253	00:11:29,548	00:11:31,884	and I don't see that anybody gave your name at the door.	and I don't see that anybody gave your name at the door.
254	00:11:31,917	00:11:35,154	You know the deal. Two paying customers to see you,	You know the deal. Two paying customers to see you,
255	00:11:35,187	00:11:37,022	and then you get to do five minutes.	and then you get to do five minutes.
256	00:11:37,056	00:11:39,124	Mickey, I'm running out of friends.	Mickey, I'm running out of friends.
257	00:11:39,158	00:11:40,926	Not my problem.	Not my problem.
258	00:11:40,959	00:11:41,927	I'll bring four people next week	I'll bring four people next week
259	00:11:41,960	00:11:43,630	if you just give me a few minutes on stage.	if you just give me a few minutes on stage.
260	00:11:43,663	00:11:45,264	Will, if I make an exception for you,	Will, if I make an exception for you,
261	00:11:45,297	00:11:47,333	then I have to make an exception for everybody else	then I have to make an exception for everybody else
262	00:11:47,366	00:11:49,368	that wanders in and goes, "I don't have any friends.	that wanders in and goes, "I don't have any friends.
263	00:11:49,401	00:11:52,037	- I don't have any friends." - Mickey, Mickey, I promise.	- I don't have any friends." - Mickey, Mickey, I promise.
264	00:11:52,071	00:11:54,173	Four people. Please.	Four people. Please.
265	00:11:54,206	00:11:56,075	To you, this is a show.	To you, this is a show.
266	00:11:56,108	00:11:58,277	To me, this is a business.	To me, this is a business.
267	00:11:58,310	00:11:59,646	Please?	Please?
268	00:11:59,679	00:12:01,180	No.	No.
269	00:12:01,213	00:12:03,849	[GUITAR PLAYING]	[GUITAR PLAYING]
270	00:12:05,685	00:12:07,086	You guys ready to rock?	You guys ready to rock?
271	00:12:07,119	00:12:09,121	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
272	00:12:12,257	00:12:14,960	This microphone needs Viagra. What?	This microphone needs Viagra. What?
273	00:12:18,297	00:12:19,498	MAN: What clubs have you played?	MAN: What clubs have you played?
274	00:12:19,531	00:12:21,066	Just open mics.	Just open mics.
275	00:12:21,100	00:12:22,901	MAN: You don't have any credits, I can't book you.	MAN: You don't have any credits, I can't book you.
276	00:12:22,935	00:12:24,903	I can't get credits if I can't get up.	I can't get credits if I can't get up.
277	00:12:24,937	00:12:26,905	[RAP MUSIC PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]	[RAP MUSIC PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]
278	00:12:26,939	00:12:29,975	[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS, CHEERING]	[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS, CHEERING]
279	00:12:59,138	00:13:00,406	Jose.	Jose.
280	00:13:00,439	00:13:02,975	Can you turn down the music, please?	Can you turn down the music, please?
281	00:13:09,248	00:13:10,449	WOMAN: Rockview Insurance, may I help you?	WOMAN: Rockview Insurance, may I help you?
282	00:13:10,482	00:13:13,686	WILL: No, I understand.	WILL: No, I understand.
283	00:13:13,720	00:13:15,454	Yes, Mr. Kominsky.	Yes, Mr. Kominsky.
284	00:13:15,487	00:13:17,222	Did you get me these pens?	Did you get me these pens?
285	00:13:20,292	00:13:22,561	We have all the information we need.	We have all the information we need.
286	00:13:22,594	00:13:24,530	Okay, you want to talk to a supervisor?	Okay, you want to talk to a supervisor?
287	00:13:24,563	00:13:26,231	Yeah, that's not a problem.	Yeah, that's not a problem.
288	00:13:28,434	00:13:30,202	[SPLAT!]	[SPLAT!]
289	00:13:32,538	00:13:36,341	[SIGHS] I never win.	[SIGHS] I never win.
290	00:13:41,013	00:13:43,549	[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]	[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]
291	00:13:50,189	00:13:52,624	Don't stop.	Don't stop.
292	00:13:52,659	00:13:54,293	Don't stop?	Don't stop?
293	00:13:54,326	00:13:55,628	Believing.	Believing.
294	00:13:55,662	00:13:59,331	Hanford, California, Steven Perry... Journey.	Hanford, California, Steven Perry... Journey.
295	00:14:02,201	00:14:04,303	Round two of the sushi. Ciao.	Round two of the sushi. Ciao.
296	00:14:04,336	00:14:06,739	[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]	[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]
297	00:14:08,607	00:14:11,043	[LINE RINGS]	[LINE RINGS]
298	00:14:11,076	00:14:19,686	Yo, fuck faaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... wait for it... aace.	Yo, fuck faaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... wait for it... aace.
299	00:14:19,719	00:14:21,654	Well, number one, go fuck yourself.	Well, number one, go fuck yourself.
300	00:14:21,688	00:14:23,589	The Joeys ruined everything,	The Joeys ruined everything,
301	00:14:23,622	00:14:27,159	and now they owe me 85 bucks I'll never see again.	and now they owe me 85 bucks I'll never see again.
302	00:14:27,192	00:14:31,029	I am headed up to Detroit to open up for Steven Gold.	I am headed up to Detroit to open up for Steven Gold.
303	00:14:31,063	00:14:33,633	So that means I can't emcee the Pennsylvania Improv	So that means I can't emcee the Pennsylvania Improv
304	00:14:33,666	00:14:35,133	from tonight through Sunday.	from tonight through Sunday.
305	00:14:35,167	00:14:36,468	So the manager asked me	So the manager asked me
306	00:14:36,502	00:14:39,071	if I could recommend a comic last minute.	if I could recommend a comic last minute.
307	00:14:39,104	00:14:42,709	- I said you. He said great. - Oh, wow.	- I said you. He said great. - Oh, wow.
308	00:14:42,742	00:14:46,713	This is a major opportunity, alright? If you kill it...	This is a major opportunity, alright? If you kill it...
309	00:14:46,746	00:14:48,648	Well, I got all these claims that I got to file.	Well, I got all these claims that I got to file.
310	00:14:48,681	00:14:51,283	Chip Fontaine is a made man.	Chip Fontaine is a made man.
311	00:14:51,316	00:14:53,218	He's the manager, and he books	He's the manager, and he books
312	00:14:53,252	00:14:55,187	not only the Pennsylvania Improv,	not only the Pennsylvania Improv,
313	00:14:55,220	00:14:56,622	but 12 more clubs.	but 12 more clubs.
314	00:14:56,656	00:14:59,224	He's also a chatty Kathy, and word will get out	He's also a chatty Kathy, and word will get out
315	00:14:59,258	00:15:00,793	to all the other clubs.	to all the other clubs.
316	00:15:00,827	00:15:03,095	It's just like figure skating. It's a small world.	It's just like figure skating. It's a small world.
317	00:15:03,128	00:15:04,563	Figure skating?	Figure skating?
318	00:15:04,596	00:15:06,465	QUINN: Hey, you got your childhood, I got mine, okay?	QUINN: Hey, you got your childhood, I got mine, okay?
319	00:15:06,498	00:15:08,400	Dude, if Chip likes you,	Dude, if Chip likes you,
320	00:15:08,433	00:15:09,769	you're in the rotation and you go full-time.	you're in the rotation and you go full-time.
321	00:15:09,802	00:15:11,638	You take this weekend and you get started,	You take this weekend and you get started,
322	00:15:11,671	00:15:13,238	you're on your way, man.	you're on your way, man.
323	00:15:13,272	00:15:15,507	- I just don't know if I'm ready. - Oh, I get it.	- I just don't know if I'm ready. - Oh, I get it.
324	00:15:15,541	00:15:20,680	No, you are horribly scared and terrified and you fear failure.	No, you are horribly scared and terrified and you fear failure.
325	00:15:20,713	00:15:22,849	I-I get it. I get it.	I-I get it. I get it.
326	00:15:22,882	00:15:24,684	I'm not scared. I said I'm not ready.	I'm not scared. I said I'm not ready.
327	00:15:24,717	00:15:26,385	There's a big difference. Okay?	There's a big difference. Okay?
328	00:15:26,418	00:15:28,387	I don't wanna just take this opportunity and bomb.	I don't wanna just take this opportunity and bomb.
329	00:15:28,420	00:15:30,790	I was scared too, but ever since I took the big leap,	I was scared too, but ever since I took the big leap,
330	00:15:30,823	00:15:33,292	even on my worst fucking day, I thank God	even on my worst fucking day, I thank God
331	00:15:33,325	00:15:36,261	I'm not selling anybody a 2012 Kia Sorento.	I'm not selling anybody a 2012 Kia Sorento.
332	00:15:36,295	00:15:39,264	Chances like this don't happen every day.	Chances like this don't happen every day.
333	00:15:39,298	00:15:40,800	If you don't take this shot,	If you don't take this shot,
334	00:15:40,833	00:15:42,669	dude, you might as well quit stand-up	dude, you might as well quit stand-up
335	00:15:42,702	00:15:45,103	and, like, remain in your cubicle	and, like, remain in your cubicle
336	00:15:45,137	00:15:47,606	and your living Geico commercial.	and your living Geico commercial.
337	00:15:47,640	00:15:49,207	And, well, I didn't tell you the best part.	And, well, I didn't tell you the best part.
338	00:15:49,241	00:15:50,677	You'll never guess who's headlining.	You'll never guess who's headlining.
339	00:15:50,710	00:15:55,414	He's literally your favorite TV star of all time.	He's literally your favorite TV star of all time.
340	00:15:55,447	00:15:56,816	MAN: There's one meaningful question.	MAN: There's one meaningful question.
341	00:15:56,849	00:15:58,383	Have you reached your full potential?	Have you reached your full potential?
342	00:15:58,417	00:15:59,819	Don't... Don't think about it.	Don't... Don't think about it.
343	00:15:59,852	00:16:01,453	Don't think about what the answer is,	Don't think about what the answer is,
344	00:16:01,486	00:16:02,822	I'll tell you the answer. The answer is...	I'll tell you the answer. The answer is...
345	00:16:02,855	00:16:04,456	Here are a pile of claims from the six-car pileup.	Here are a pile of claims from the six-car pileup.
346	00:16:04,489	00:16:08,260	Hey, my ace in the hole. I love it, I love it.	Hey, my ace in the hole. I love it, I love it.
347	00:16:08,293	00:16:10,162	Look, Barry, I got the work done	Look, Barry, I got the work done
348	00:16:10,195	00:16:12,598	so I would like to take tomorrow off.	so I would like to take tomorrow off.
349	00:16:13,700	00:16:15,902	[LAUGHS] Will.	[LAUGHS] Will.
350	00:16:15,935	00:16:18,270	Will, Will, Will, Will, Will.	Will, Will, Will, Will, Will.
351	00:16:18,303	00:16:20,472	When you reach the end of your rope, you...	When you reach the end of your rope, you...
352	00:16:21,674	00:16:24,209	Uh, what are you talking about?	Uh, what are you talking about?
353	00:16:24,242	00:16:27,914	When you reach the end of your rope, you...?	When you reach the end of your rope, you...?
354	00:16:27,947	00:16:30,883	- You get more rope? - [IMITATES BUZZER] Wrong.	- You get more rope? - [IMITATES BUZZER] Wrong.
355	00:16:30,917	00:16:32,351	When you reach the end of your rope,	When you reach the end of your rope,
356	00:16:32,384	00:16:34,721	you tie it in a knot and you hang on.	you tie it in a knot and you hang on.
357	00:16:34,754	00:16:36,188	It's Thomas Jefferson.	It's Thomas Jefferson.
358	00:16:36,221	00:16:37,522	You should know that.	You should know that.
359	00:16:37,556	00:16:39,792	I need to take tomorrow off.	I need to take tomorrow off.
360	00:16:39,826	00:16:44,797	In our world, as you know, there are accidents.	In our world, as you know, there are accidents.
361	00:16:44,831	00:16:46,699	We don't control them,	We don't control them,
362	00:16:46,733	00:16:49,702	but we can control what we do about them.	but we can control what we do about them.
363	00:16:51,838	00:16:54,741	I'm not asking you, Barry. I'm taking tomorrow off.	I'm not asking you, Barry. I'm taking tomorrow off.
364	00:16:54,774	00:16:56,475	It's very important to me.	It's very important to me.
365	00:16:56,508	00:16:59,746	Will, what's important to you is keeping your job.	Will, what's important to you is keeping your job.
366	00:16:59,779	00:17:03,650	So let's turn the beat around, see you show up tomorrow	So let's turn the beat around, see you show up tomorrow
367	00:17:03,683	00:17:05,217	with a little more passion on your face,	with a little more passion on your face,
368	00:17:05,250	00:17:06,551	and knock out some of those claims.	and knock out some of those claims.
369	00:17:06,585	00:17:08,620	Capiche?	Capiche?
370	00:17:08,655	00:17:09,922	I won't be back tomorrow.	I won't be back tomorrow.
371	00:17:12,659	00:17:14,326	I'm done. I quit.	I'm done. I quit.
372	00:17:14,359	00:17:15,895	[IMITATES BUZZER] Wrong.	[IMITATES BUZZER] Wrong.
373	00:17:15,928	00:17:17,562	I can't do that anymore, okay?	I can't do that anymore, okay?
374	00:17:17,596	00:17:19,498	Seriously, it's over.	Seriously, it's over.
375	00:17:19,531	00:17:21,701	I'm done. I quit.	I'm done. I quit.
376	00:17:21,734	00:17:25,203	Hey, if you think I'm giving you a good recommendation,	Hey, if you think I'm giving you a good recommendation,
377	00:17:25,237	00:17:26,471	you're crazy.	you're crazy.
378	00:17:26,505	00:17:27,707	[LINE RINGS]	[LINE RINGS]
379	00:17:27,740	00:17:28,875	QUINN: Hey, cupcake.	QUINN: Hey, cupcake.
380	00:17:28,908	00:17:30,375	I'm 100% in.	I'm 100% in.
381	00:17:30,409	00:17:32,277	- In for what? - The gig this weekend.	- In for what? - The gig this weekend.
382	00:17:32,310	00:17:33,646	Oh, my God. Sorry, dude.	Oh, my God. Sorry, dude.
383	00:17:33,680	00:17:35,815	I... You made it sound like you weren't coming.	I... You made it sound like you weren't coming.
384	00:17:35,848	00:17:37,516	You gotta be kidding me, right?	You gotta be kidding me, right?
385	00:17:37,549	00:17:38,918	I wish you had called even just five minutes ago.	I wish you had called even just five minutes ago.
386	00:17:38,951	00:17:41,821	I literally just booked the Joeys.	I literally just booked the Joeys.
387	00:17:41,854	00:17:45,323	Oh, my God. I'm getting physically sick to my stomach.	Oh, my God. I'm getting physically sick to my stomach.
388	00:17:47,325	00:17:49,261	This is going to absolutely cripple me.	This is going to absolutely cripple me.
389	00:17:49,294	00:17:51,931	Quinn, do... do you know what I just did here?	Quinn, do... do you know what I just did here?
390	00:17:51,964	00:17:56,703	[LAUGHING] Dude, I'm sorry. I can't do this to you, man.	[LAUGHING] Dude, I'm sorry. I can't do this to you, man.
391	00:17:56,736	00:17:58,503	Oh, my God.	Oh, my God.
392	00:17:58,537	00:18:00,405	You think I'd book the fucking Joeys?	You think I'd book the fucking Joeys?
393	00:18:00,439	00:18:01,741	Dude, I was just about to call you.	Dude, I was just about to call you.
394	00:18:01,774	00:18:03,241	Congrats.	Congrats.
395	00:18:03,275	00:18:06,411	[LAUGHS] You're an asshole, Quinn.	[LAUGHS] You're an asshole, Quinn.
396	00:18:06,445	00:18:09,514	Yeah, an asshole who got you a fucking sweet gig.	Yeah, an asshole who got you a fucking sweet gig.
397	00:18:16,856	00:18:18,958	QUINN: Look, I'll be in contact with the Pennsylvania Club.	QUINN: Look, I'll be in contact with the Pennsylvania Club.
398	00:18:18,991	00:18:21,828	They'll put you up at the condo.	They'll put you up at the condo.
399	00:18:21,861	00:18:24,296	Show time today. You better get moving.	Show time today. You better get moving.
400	00:18:24,329	00:18:26,298	You are making the right call, buddy.	You are making the right call, buddy.
401	00:18:31,738	00:18:35,474	Billy G? At an improv? That's a big deal.	Billy G? At an improv? That's a big deal.
402	00:18:35,507	00:18:37,844	That's pretty good.	That's pretty good.
403	00:18:37,877	00:18:39,311	JEN: Knock them dead. Kill them.	JEN: Knock them dead. Kill them.
404	00:18:39,344	00:18:40,913	Is that what you say? Break a leg.	Is that what you say? Break a leg.
405	00:18:43,082	00:18:45,685	Big fan. Huge fan.	Big fan. Huge fan.
406	00:18:45,718	00:18:47,887	Nice to meet you, Mr. G.	Nice to meet you, Mr. G.
407	00:18:47,920	00:18:52,859	Hi, I'm Will Chu. I'm your opening act.	Hi, I'm Will Chu. I'm your opening act.
408	00:18:57,529	00:18:58,965	Oh, Billy.	Oh, Billy.
409	00:18:58,998	00:19:01,266	Oh, my God, it's so good to be here.	Oh, my God, it's so good to be here.
410	00:19:03,568	00:19:05,805	I've been waiting all my life for this moment.	I've been waiting all my life for this moment.
411	00:19:12,511	00:19:15,280	What's up, Pennsylvania Improv?	What's up, Pennsylvania Improv?
412	00:19:21,087	00:19:22,454	[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]	[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
413	00:19:22,487	00:19:25,524	[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]	[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
414	00:20:02,862	00:20:04,931	[MUSIC STOPS]	[MUSIC STOPS]
415	00:20:04,964	00:20:09,802	Hi. I'm Will. Will Chu. I'm the emcee.	Hi. I'm Will. Will Chu. I'm the emcee.
416	00:20:09,836	00:20:13,471	Actually, since we're talking names, my name is spelt C-H-U.	Actually, since we're talking names, my name is spelt C-H-U.
417	00:20:13,505	00:20:16,709	Ah, so you asking me to run up on the ladder	Ah, so you asking me to run up on the ladder
418	00:20:16,742	00:20:18,811	and change your name?	and change your name?
419	00:20:18,845	00:20:21,080	Wondering, um, can I get the keys to the condo?	Wondering, um, can I get the keys to the condo?
420	00:20:21,113	00:20:23,149	Is the manager around?	Is the manager around?
421	00:20:23,182	00:20:26,953	TT to Charlie Money.	TT to Charlie Money.
422	00:20:26,986	00:20:29,387	Yeah, Chip will be here in just a minute.	Yeah, Chip will be here in just a minute.
423	00:20:29,421	00:20:32,825	Well, this is my house. I protect my house.	Well, this is my house. I protect my house.
424	00:20:34,927	00:20:36,863	Oh, hey.	Oh, hey.
425	00:20:36,896	00:20:38,496	Must be Will. Chip.	Must be Will. Chip.
426	00:20:38,530	00:20:40,432	Nice to meet you. Thanks for having me.	Nice to meet you. Thanks for having me.
427	00:20:40,465	00:20:42,034	You can recommended,	You can recommended,
428	00:20:42,068	00:20:43,903	so if you want to make this more than a one-time thing,	so if you want to make this more than a one-time thing,
429	00:20:43,936	00:20:46,005	I'm going to need you to keep the crowd on track,	I'm going to need you to keep the crowd on track,
430	00:20:46,038	00:20:47,539	handle the hecklers,	handle the hecklers,
431	00:20:47,572	00:20:50,475	and most importantly make the audience laugh.	and most importantly make the audience laugh.
432	00:20:50,508	00:20:52,845	- Yeah. - Big laughs, okay?	- Yeah. - Big laughs, okay?
433	00:20:52,879	00:20:56,716	Got it. And thank you. I appreciate this weekend.	Got it. And thank you. I appreciate this weekend.
434	00:20:56,749	00:20:58,550	Y-You don't know what it means to me.	Y-You don't know what it means to me.
435	00:21:04,556	00:21:06,192	By the way, you're going to be sharing the condo this weekend	By the way, you're going to be sharing the condo this weekend
436	00:21:06,225	00:21:07,727	with our feature, Chris Palmer.	with our feature, Chris Palmer.
437	00:21:07,760	00:21:09,862	- Awesome. - Well, you say that now.	- Awesome. - Well, you say that now.
438	00:21:09,896	00:21:11,130	Let's see how you feel on Sunday.	Let's see how you feel on Sunday.
439	00:21:11,163	00:21:12,798	WILL: Why is that?	WILL: Why is that?
440	00:21:12,832	00:21:15,668	Look, Will, Chris is going to show you things	Look, Will, Chris is going to show you things
441	00:21:15,701	00:21:17,703	that you can't unsee.	that you can't unsee.
442	00:21:17,737	00:21:19,171	And when he does, I want you to call me.	And when he does, I want you to call me.
443	00:21:19,205	00:21:22,174	I'm going to give you my number.	I'm going to give you my number.
444	00:21:22,208	00:21:24,810	If you need help or a shoulder to cry on,	If you need help or a shoulder to cry on,
445	00:21:24,844	00:21:26,544	or even a place to stay,	or even a place to stay,
446	00:21:26,578	00:21:29,447	because Chris can get a little rowdy,	because Chris can get a little rowdy,
447	00:21:29,481	00:21:31,516	I want you to reach out.	I want you to reach out.
448	00:21:31,549	00:21:33,085	Sure.	Sure.
449	00:21:33,119	00:21:35,888	Here. What's your number?	Here. What's your number?
450	00:21:35,922	00:21:39,025	No, I'll put it in. Here.	No, I'll put it in. Here.
451	00:21:39,058	00:21:41,661	That was easy, huh?	That was easy, huh?
452	00:21:41,694	00:21:42,929	Call me.	Call me.
453	00:21:42,962	00:21:44,797	Call me right now so I have your number.	Call me right now so I have your number.
454	00:21:44,830	00:21:46,832	- Oh. Yeah. - [CELLPHONE VIBRATES]	- Oh. Yeah. - [CELLPHONE VIBRATES]
455	00:21:46,866	00:21:49,434	Great. I'm vibrating.	Great. I'm vibrating.
456	00:21:54,506	00:21:55,908	Must be you.	Must be you.
457	00:21:55,942	00:21:58,177	Cool.	Cool.
458	00:21:58,210	00:22:00,079	So it begins.	So it begins.
459	00:22:02,982	00:22:05,217	♪ Where's the party at? ♪	♪ Where's the party at? ♪
460	00:22:05,251	00:22:06,752	♪ It's going down now ♪	♪ It's going down now ♪
461	00:22:06,786	00:22:07,820	♪ We can't hear you ♪	♪ We can't hear you ♪
462	00:22:07,853	00:22:08,955	♪ Party people ♪	♪ Party people ♪
463	00:22:08,988	00:22:10,923	Hello?	Hello?
464	00:22:10,957	00:22:12,658	Hello?	Hello?
465	00:22:12,692	00:22:16,662	Whoa. Don't you fucking knock?	Whoa. Don't you fucking knock?
466	00:22:16,696	00:22:18,764	What kind of a dickhole barges in somewhere	What kind of a dickhole barges in somewhere
467	00:22:18,798	00:22:20,666	like he owns the place, huh?	like he owns the place, huh?
468	00:22:20,700	00:22:21,701	Huh?	Huh?
469	00:22:21,734	00:22:23,836	I'm... fucking with you.	I'm... fucking with you.
470	00:22:23,869	00:22:25,271	What's up, man? You Will?	What's up, man? You Will?
471	00:22:25,304	00:22:26,772	Chris. How are you, bro?	Chris. How are you, bro?
472	00:22:26,806	00:22:27,974	- Great to meet you. - Good, man.	- Great to meet you. - Good, man.
473	00:22:28,007	00:22:29,675	We're going to have a great weekend.	We're going to have a great weekend.
474	00:22:29,709	00:22:30,876	Your first time here?	Your first time here?
475	00:22:30,910	00:22:33,679	First time in any real club.	First time in any real club.
476	00:22:33,713	00:22:34,780	So I'm just a little bit nervous.	So I'm just a little bit nervous.
477	00:22:34,814	00:22:36,082	Oh, no, no, no, no. Why?	Oh, no, no, no, no. Why?
478	00:22:36,115	00:22:38,284	Did Chip start flirting with you?	Did Chip start flirting with you?
479	00:22:38,317	00:22:39,885	Oh, was that what it was?	Oh, was that what it was?
480	00:22:39,919	00:22:41,619	Yeah, yeah, just don't give him your number.	Yeah, yeah, just don't give him your number.
481	00:22:41,654	00:22:43,856	You'll be fine.	You'll be fine.
482	00:22:43,889	00:22:45,091	♪ It's going down now ♪	♪ It's going down now ♪
483	00:22:45,124	00:22:46,859	♪ We can't hear you ♪	♪ We can't hear you ♪
484	00:22:46,892	00:22:48,526	CHRIS: And over there's the hot tub.	CHRIS: And over there's the hot tub.
485	00:22:48,560	00:22:49,895	Just fucking around, there's no hot tub.	Just fucking around, there's no hot tub.
486	00:22:49,929	00:22:51,697	Anyway, this is the condo.	Anyway, this is the condo.
487	00:22:51,731	00:22:53,833	I took this bedroom, so the other one's yours, alright?	I took this bedroom, so the other one's yours, alright?
488	00:22:53,866	00:22:55,868	Awesome. I'm gonna take a shower.	Awesome. I'm gonna take a shower.
489	00:22:55,901	00:22:57,303	You want to head to the club after that?	You want to head to the club after that?
490	00:22:57,336	00:23:00,072	Fuck yeah, Will. Fuck yes, I do.	Fuck yeah, Will. Fuck yes, I do.
491	00:23:03,642	00:23:05,845	Hey, yo, don't use that shampoo by the way.	Hey, yo, don't use that shampoo by the way.
492	00:23:05,878	00:23:07,279	Sometimes dudes jizz in it	Sometimes dudes jizz in it
493	00:23:07,313	00:23:09,682	just to fuck with guys for the following week.	just to fuck with guys for the following week.
494	00:23:09,715	00:23:11,250	- You serious? - CHRIS: Yeah.	- You serious? - CHRIS: Yeah.
495	00:23:11,283	00:23:13,652	Hey, you ever been to the Warhol Museum?	Hey, you ever been to the Warhol Museum?
496	00:23:13,686	00:23:15,087	I've always wanted to check it out.	I've always wanted to check it out.
497	00:23:15,121	00:23:16,155	Want to go tomorrow?	Want to go tomorrow?
498	00:23:16,188	00:23:17,289	Yeah, sure.	Yeah, sure.
499	00:23:17,323	00:23:18,590	Fuck yeah.	Fuck yeah.
500	00:23:18,623	00:23:19,925	Dibs first shower.	Dibs first shower.
501	00:23:37,243	00:23:38,844	RICKY: Welcome to the world-famous	RICKY: Welcome to the world-famous
502	00:23:38,878	00:23:40,346	Improv Thursday night.	Improv Thursday night.
503	00:23:40,379	00:23:42,181	Make some noise.	Make some noise.
504	00:23:42,214	00:23:46,252	Who's ready for a great show tonight?	Who's ready for a great show tonight?
505	00:23:46,285	00:23:49,288	Okay, just a reminder to keep your talking to a minimum	Okay, just a reminder to keep your talking to a minimum
506	00:23:49,321	00:23:51,690	and your laughter to a maximum.	and your laughter to a maximum.
507	00:23:51,724	00:23:53,292	Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be starting the show	Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be starting the show
508	00:23:53,325	00:23:55,194	in just a few minutes.	in just a few minutes.
509	00:23:55,227	00:23:58,197	- Ooh, long time, Rachel. Hello. - RICKY: Just letting you know	- Ooh, long time, Rachel. Hello. - RICKY: Just letting you know
510	00:23:58,230	00:24:00,733	we'd like you to turn your cellphones to silent.	we'd like you to turn your cellphones to silent.
511	00:24:00,766	00:24:03,769	There's no video or flash photography during the show.	There's no video or flash photography during the show.
512	00:24:03,803	00:24:06,238	Be sure to sign up for our e-mail list.	Be sure to sign up for our e-mail list.
513	00:24:06,272	00:24:08,240	The cards are on your tables.	The cards are on your tables.
514	00:24:15,314	00:24:17,249	You okay, bro?	You okay, bro?
515	00:24:17,283	00:24:20,186	Oh, yeah, yeah. I just... just a little nervous.	Oh, yeah, yeah. I just... just a little nervous.
516	00:24:20,219	00:24:21,754	That is like the biggest audience	That is like the biggest audience
517	00:24:21,787	00:24:23,722	- I've ever performed for. - Dude, don't be nervous.	- I've ever performed for. - Dude, don't be nervous.
518	00:24:23,756	00:24:25,658	Fuck those people out there. Just do you.	Fuck those people out there. Just do you.
519	00:24:25,691	00:24:27,159	- Chris. - Holy shit.	- Chris. - Holy shit.
520	00:24:27,193	00:24:29,161	I heard Chris. How you doing, man?	I heard Chris. How you doing, man?
521	00:24:29,195	00:24:30,963	- I'm good. - I'm still kind of hungover	- I'm good. - I'm still kind of hungover
522	00:24:30,996	00:24:32,665	from the last time we chilled out.	from the last time we chilled out.
523	00:24:32,698	00:24:34,166	Oh, yeah, Ricky that's called a bender, my friend.	Oh, yeah, Ricky that's called a bender, my friend.
524	00:24:34,200	00:24:35,768	RICKY: Probably right.	RICKY: Probably right.
525	00:24:35,801	00:24:38,971	Yo, you still fucking with that cheerleader?	Yo, you still fucking with that cheerleader?
526	00:24:39,004	00:24:41,874	The blonde one with the half-shaved head?	The blonde one with the half-shaved head?
527	00:24:43,976	00:24:45,678	God bless you, Chris.	God bless you, Chris.
528	00:24:45,711	00:24:47,213	What up, man? I'm Ricky.	What up, man? I'm Ricky.
529	00:24:47,246	00:24:48,247	I'm Will. I'm the emcee.	I'm Will. I'm the emcee.
530	00:24:48,280	00:24:50,382	I'm the sound guy, man. Cool.	I'm the sound guy, man. Cool.
531	00:24:50,416	00:24:53,085	Alright, what kind of intro music you guys want?	Alright, what kind of intro music you guys want?
532	00:24:53,119	00:24:55,321	- Surprise me, bud. - What about you?	- Surprise me, bud. - What about you?
533	00:24:55,354	00:24:56,989	Something by the Killers?	Something by the Killers?
534	00:24:57,022	00:24:59,291	Alright, cool. You know, Chip loves the Killers, man.	Alright, cool. You know, Chip loves the Killers, man.
535	00:24:59,325	00:25:02,261	You know what? Why don't you pick something?	You know what? Why don't you pick something?
536	00:25:02,294	00:25:04,196	- Anything but the Killers. - You sure?	- Anything but the Killers. - You sure?
537	00:25:04,230	00:25:08,434	- Yeah. Absolutely. - Alright. Cool.	- Yeah. Absolutely. - Alright. Cool.
538	00:25:08,467	00:25:10,269	What do you want for your intro?	What do you want for your intro?
539	00:25:10,302	00:25:12,738	You can say clubs and colleges.	You can say clubs and colleges.
540	00:25:12,771	00:25:15,307	What clubs?	What clubs?
541	00:25:15,341	00:25:16,809	Uh, what colleges?	Uh, what colleges?
542	00:25:16,842	00:25:19,078	Um...	Um...
543	00:25:19,111	00:25:21,780	So I'll just keep it plain and simple, just clubs and colleges.	So I'll just keep it plain and simple, just clubs and colleges.
544	00:25:21,814	00:25:23,415	Gonna keep it broad, you know. Sounds good.	Gonna keep it broad, you know. Sounds good.
545	00:25:23,449	00:25:25,851	Alright, listen, guys, Will, you're doing 12,	Alright, listen, guys, Will, you're doing 12,
546	00:25:25,885	00:25:27,319	Chris, you're doing 25.	Chris, you're doing 25.
547	00:25:27,353	00:25:29,021	You get a two-minute light each,	You get a two-minute light each,
548	00:25:29,054	00:25:31,390	and it's a big red light right at the back of the wall.	and it's a big red light right at the back of the wall.
549	00:25:31,423	00:25:33,092	You can't miss it, alright?	You can't miss it, alright?
550	00:25:33,125	00:25:34,293	Is it that wall?	Is it that wall?
551	00:25:34,326	00:25:35,828	Have a good show, y'all. Peace.	Have a good show, y'all. Peace.
552	00:25:35,861	00:25:39,098	- Love you, buddy. - Love you too, nigga.	- Love you, buddy. - Love you too, nigga.
553	00:25:39,131	00:25:41,767	- Did he just call you... nigga? - I love it.	- Did he just call you... nigga? - I love it.
554	00:25:44,003	00:25:45,204	What do you want for your intro?	What do you want for your intro?
555	00:25:45,237	00:25:47,406	Oh, same just clubs and colleges.	Oh, same just clubs and colleges.
556	00:25:47,439	00:25:49,875	Which clubs and colleges have you done?	Which clubs and colleges have you done?
557	00:25:49,909	00:25:53,712	Oh, let's see, I've done like 28 improvs, Funny Bones,	Oh, let's see, I've done like 28 improvs, Funny Bones,
558	00:25:53,746	00:25:55,414	and I did... I did the NACA Conference.	and I did... I did the NACA Conference.
559	00:25:55,447	00:25:58,884	That's like 30 colleges last year.	That's like 30 colleges last year.
560	00:25:58,918	00:26:01,720	- Good... Good for you. - Thank you very much.	- Good... Good for you. - Thank you very much.
561	00:26:01,754	00:26:04,490	RICKY: Thursday night, make some noise.	RICKY: Thursday night, make some noise.
562	00:26:04,523	00:26:06,392	- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] - [BREATHING DEEPLY]	- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] - [BREATHING DEEPLY]
563	00:26:06,425	00:26:09,295	Alright, buddy, here we go.	Alright, buddy, here we go.
564	00:26:09,328	00:26:11,463	RICKY: Give it for your headliner this evening, Billy G.	RICKY: Give it for your headliner this evening, Billy G.
565	00:26:11,497	00:26:15,334	- To a great show. - To a great show.	- To a great show. - To a great show.
566	00:26:15,367	00:26:19,071	And your future act, Chris Palmer.	And your future act, Chris Palmer.
567	00:26:19,104	00:26:20,739	Now, ladies and gentlemen,	Now, ladies and gentlemen,
568	00:26:20,773	00:26:23,042	please give a Pennsylvania Improv welcome	please give a Pennsylvania Improv welcome
569	00:26:23,075	00:26:24,977	to your host and emcee for the evening.	to your host and emcee for the evening.
570	00:26:25,010	00:26:27,880	You know your opening act from clubs and colleges,	You know your opening act from clubs and colleges,
571	00:26:27,913	00:26:31,317	please welcome Will Chu.	please welcome Will Chu.
572	00:26:31,350	00:26:37,056	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
573	00:26:37,089	00:26:40,326	What's up, Pennsylvania? How you guys doing?	What's up, Pennsylvania? How you guys doing?
574	00:26:40,359	00:26:44,163	Alright. Awesome, awesome crowd tonight.	Alright. Awesome, awesome crowd tonight.
575	00:26:44,196	00:26:46,065	Is everybody here from Pennsylvania?	Is everybody here from Pennsylvania?
576	00:26:46,098	00:26:48,334	- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] - Awesome.	- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] - Awesome.
577	00:26:48,367	00:26:51,036	Lot of pretty girls from Pennsylvania, am I right?	Lot of pretty girls from Pennsylvania, am I right?
578	00:26:51,070	00:26:53,205	Yeah, not... not here but in downtown, you know.	Yeah, not... not here but in downtown, you know.
579	00:26:53,239	00:26:55,941	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
580	00:26:55,975	00:26:58,544	You know, dating... dating is totally different now, right?	You know, dating... dating is totally different now, right?
581	00:26:58,577	00:27:00,980	Like, I know... I know where I stand.	Like, I know... I know where I stand.
582	00:27:01,013	00:27:05,551	Like, I am... I'm, like, cute. I'm not like the macho guy.	Like, I am... I'm, like, cute. I'm not like the macho guy.
583	00:27:05,584	00:27:07,353	You know, I wish I could be that guy.	You know, I wish I could be that guy.
584	00:27:07,386	00:27:09,355	Like, I'm really good looking...	Like, I'm really good looking...
585	00:27:09,388	00:27:12,224	if you're into anime.	if you're into anime.
586	00:27:12,258	00:27:16,095	That's the level that I'm at, you know?	That's the level that I'm at, you know?
587	00:27:16,128	00:27:18,897	I can't even go to the beach with my shirt off, right?	I can't even go to the beach with my shirt off, right?
588	00:27:18,931	00:27:22,368	Like, look, don't get me wrong, ladies, I'm in shape, okay?	Like, look, don't get me wrong, ladies, I'm in shape, okay?
589	00:27:22,401	00:27:26,505	But I'm just a small guy with really nice hair.	But I'm just a small guy with really nice hair.
590	00:27:26,538	00:27:30,042	So from the back, I look like a really hot Asian chick.	So from the back, I look like a really hot Asian chick.
591	00:27:30,075	00:27:31,877	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
592	00:27:31,910	00:27:35,848	And from the front, I look like a really hot Asian chick.	And from the front, I look like a really hot Asian chick.
593	00:27:35,881	00:27:37,516	Thank you guys. That's my time. I'm Will Chu.	Thank you guys. That's my time. I'm Will Chu.
594	00:27:37,549	00:27:41,587	I will be your host tonight.	I will be your host tonight.
595	00:27:41,620	00:27:44,123	Pennsylvania, are you guys ready for your next comedian?	Pennsylvania, are you guys ready for your next comedian?
596	00:27:44,156	00:27:45,858	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
597	00:27:45,891	00:27:48,560	Alright, you've seen him at clubs and colleges.	Alright, you've seen him at clubs and colleges.
598	00:27:48,594	00:27:51,964	Let's give it up for Chris Palmer.	Let's give it up for Chris Palmer.
599	00:27:51,997	00:27:54,166	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
600	00:28:11,350	00:28:14,320	What the fuck is up, Pennsylvania Improv?	What the fuck is up, Pennsylvania Improv?
601	00:28:14,353	00:28:16,622	Make some fucking noise.	Make some fucking noise.
602	00:28:16,656	00:28:17,990	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
603	00:28:18,023	00:28:21,060	Oh, my God. Fantastic.	Oh, my God. Fantastic.
604	00:28:21,093	00:28:23,295	Let me... Anybody in here single?	Let me... Anybody in here single?
605	00:28:23,329	00:28:25,097	[SCATTERED CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[SCATTERED CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
606	00:28:25,130	00:28:26,865	Anybody in here married?	Anybody in here married?
607	00:28:26,899	00:28:28,400	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
608	00:28:28,434	00:28:30,402	That is the first time the married people	That is the first time the married people
609	00:28:30,436	00:28:33,439	have ever been more enthusiastic.	have ever been more enthusiastic.
610	00:28:33,472	00:28:36,041	Well, good, so there's some good marriages in here?	Well, good, so there's some good marriages in here?
611	00:28:36,075	00:28:37,276	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
612	00:28:37,309	00:28:39,044	You guys? I heard you guys are...	You guys? I heard you guys are...
613	00:28:39,078	00:28:40,879	oh, he did this.	oh, he did this.
614	00:28:40,913	00:28:43,282	He went like this. Not a good sign.	He went like this. Not a good sign.
615	00:28:43,315	00:28:44,583	Great.	Great.
616	00:28:44,616	00:28:47,419	Are we ever going to see a good headline	Are we ever going to see a good headline
617	00:28:47,453	00:28:50,522	that starts with the words "a Florida man"?	that starts with the words "a Florida man"?
618	00:28:50,556	00:28:52,991	[CELLPHONE GAME BEEPING]	[CELLPHONE GAME BEEPING]
619	00:28:53,025	00:28:57,062	Hi. I'm Will, and I just want to say what an absolute honor	Hi. I'm Will, and I just want to say what an absolute honor
620	00:28:57,096	00:28:59,498	it is to be working with you.	it is to be working with you.
621	00:28:59,531	00:29:04,303	And "Oh, Billy."	And "Oh, Billy."
622	00:29:04,336	00:29:06,472	I'm going to ask you not to do that, okay?	I'm going to ask you not to do that, okay?
623	00:29:06,505	00:29:08,173	Okay. Yes. Noted.	Okay. Yes. Noted.
624	00:29:08,207	00:29:10,109	About my intro.	About my intro.
625	00:29:10,142	00:29:11,644	Just say "You know our headliner	Just say "You know our headliner
626	00:29:11,678	00:29:14,413	from his numerous appearances on 'The Tonight Show, '	from his numerous appearances on 'The Tonight Show, '
627	00:29:14,446	00:29:17,983	his best-selling book that's for sale after the show on sale.	his best-selling book that's for sale after the show on sale.
628	00:29:18,016	00:29:19,418	I got you this time.	I got you this time.
629	00:29:19,451	00:29:22,054	Of course the TV show, 'Oh, That Billy.'	Of course the TV show, 'Oh, That Billy.'
630	00:29:22,087	00:29:23,489	Ladies and gentlemen, Billy G."	Ladies and gentlemen, Billy G."
631	00:29:23,522	00:29:25,290	You got it?	You got it?
632	00:29:25,324	00:29:27,192	- Write it down. - Yeah.	- Write it down. - Yeah.
633	00:29:27,226	00:29:29,595	"The Tonight Show," book on sale,	"The Tonight Show," book on sale,
634	00:29:29,629	00:29:31,497	I got you this time,	I got you this time,
635	00:29:31,530	00:29:33,633	"Oh, That Billy."	"Oh, That Billy."
636	00:29:33,666	00:29:36,335	I'm sorry. Can I borrow a pen?	I'm sorry. Can I borrow a pen?
637	00:29:36,368	00:29:39,071	Thank you. Close that door on the way out.	Thank you. Close that door on the way out.
638	00:29:39,104	00:29:41,206	- Thank you so much. - Okay.	- Thank you so much. - Okay.
639	00:29:41,240	00:29:43,942	[CELLPHONE GAME BEEPING]	[CELLPHONE GAME BEEPING]
640	00:29:43,976	00:29:46,713	You have to be careful these days	You have to be careful these days
641	00:29:46,746	00:29:49,381	with what you're watching on TV	with what you're watching on TV
642	00:29:49,415	00:29:51,550	when you're talking to your lady. Okay?	when you're talking to your lady. Okay?
643	00:29:51,583	00:29:54,654	A little while back, I was dating a wonderful young lady.	A little while back, I was dating a wonderful young lady.
644	00:29:54,687	00:29:56,656	She called me on the phone and I picked it up,	She called me on the phone and I picked it up,
645	00:29:56,689	00:29:58,457	and after about a minute she goes,	and after about a minute she goes,
646	00:29:58,490	00:30:00,727	"Who the fuck is over at your apartment?"	"Who the fuck is over at your apartment?"
647	00:30:00,760	00:30:02,561	And I was like, "What are you talking about?"	And I was like, "What are you talking about?"
648	00:30:02,594	00:30:05,998	And she was like, "Somebody is screaming, somebody is moaning."	And she was like, "Somebody is screaming, somebody is moaning."
649	00:30:06,031	00:30:09,435	I said, "Babe, I am watching singles ladies tennis.	I said, "Babe, I am watching singles ladies tennis.
650	00:30:09,468	00:30:14,006	Maria Sharapova screams like a hyena when she plays.	Maria Sharapova screams like a hyena when she plays.
651	00:30:14,039	00:30:15,441	Thank God you didn't call me five minutes ago.	Thank God you didn't call me five minutes ago.
652	00:30:15,474	00:30:17,276	I was watching mixed doubles.	I was watching mixed doubles.
653	00:30:17,309	00:30:19,278	Would have sounded like a goddamn orgy in here."	Would have sounded like a goddamn orgy in here."
654	00:30:19,311	00:30:22,181	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
655	00:30:22,214	00:30:23,482	Fantastic.	Fantastic.
656	00:30:23,515	00:30:25,517	- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] - That's fucking right.	- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] - That's fucking right.
657	00:30:25,551	00:30:28,053	Hey, deejay, kick that track.	Hey, deejay, kick that track.
658	00:30:30,389	00:30:33,292	Guys, I'm gonna be selling merch back there.	Guys, I'm gonna be selling merch back there.
659	00:30:33,325	00:30:35,461	The T-shirts say "Getting Chrissy with it."	The T-shirts say "Getting Chrissy with it."
660	00:30:35,494	00:30:37,630	And a couple of you will have the great souvenir	And a couple of you will have the great souvenir
661	00:30:37,664	00:30:39,431	of actually getting Chrissy with it.	of actually getting Chrissy with it.
662	00:30:39,465	00:30:41,166	Thank you very much, good night.	Thank you very much, good night.
663	00:30:41,200	00:30:44,069	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
664	00:30:47,105	00:30:51,410	One more time for Chris Palmer, ladies and gentlemen.	One more time for Chris Palmer, ladies and gentlemen.
665	00:30:51,443	00:30:53,680	Pennsylvania, you guys ready for your headliner?	Pennsylvania, you guys ready for your headliner?
666	00:30:53,713	00:30:56,181	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
667	00:30:56,215	00:30:59,485	You've seen him on his numerous appearances	You've seen him on his numerous appearances
668	00:30:59,518	00:31:01,353	on "Oh, That Billy."	on "Oh, That Billy."
669	00:31:01,386	00:31:04,490	And, uh, his book... best-selling book	And, uh, his book... best-selling book
670	00:31:04,523	00:31:07,559	is for sale after the show, "The Tonight Show."	is for sale after the show, "The Tonight Show."
671	00:31:07,593	00:31:10,062	And, um...	And, um...
672	00:31:10,095	00:31:12,699	And... And of course you know him from his TV show,	And... And of course you know him from his TV show,
673	00:31:12,732	00:31:16,034	"I Got You This Time."	"I Got You This Time."
674	00:31:16,068	00:31:18,170	Let's give it up for Billy G.	Let's give it up for Billy G.
675	00:31:18,203	00:31:21,240	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
676	00:31:25,210	00:31:27,579	Couldn't find that pen, huh?	Couldn't find that pen, huh?
677	00:31:36,388	00:31:38,357	What's up, Pennsylvania? How you doing?	What's up, Pennsylvania? How you doing?
678	00:31:38,390	00:31:41,159	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
679	00:31:41,193	00:31:42,662	One, two, three...	One, two, three...
680	00:31:42,695	00:31:44,631	AUDIENCE: "Oh, Billy."	AUDIENCE: "Oh, Billy."
681	00:31:44,664	00:31:46,265	BILLY: "Oh, Billy."	BILLY: "Oh, Billy."
682	00:31:46,298	00:31:48,033	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
683	00:31:55,140	00:31:57,242	I was born Billiard Goulet...	I was born Billiard Goulet...
684	00:31:57,276	00:31:58,645	Those two right there, please.	Those two right there, please.
685	00:31:58,678	00:32:02,414	And papa was a rolling stone, was he not?	And papa was a rolling stone, was he not?
686	00:32:02,447	00:32:04,717	Everybody goes, "Why go by Billy G?"	Everybody goes, "Why go by Billy G?"
687	00:32:04,751	00:32:07,219	And I said, "If your name was Billiard, wouldn't you?"	And I said, "If your name was Billiard, wouldn't you?"
688	00:32:07,252	00:32:09,321	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
689	00:32:09,354	00:32:11,623	Nobody wants to be behind the 9 ball...	Nobody wants to be behind the 9 ball...
690	00:32:11,658	00:32:13,760	Will, let's go get a drink, buddy.	Will, let's go get a drink, buddy.
691	00:32:13,793	00:32:15,628	- Well, I'm watching Billy. - Oh, I know.	- Well, I'm watching Billy. - Oh, I know.
692	00:32:15,662	00:32:17,329	We're not going to leave the club or anything.	We're not going to leave the club or anything.
693	00:32:17,362	00:32:19,164	We're just going to watch him from the back there.	We're just going to watch him from the back there.
694	00:32:19,197	00:32:21,500	Trust me, you're going to be sick of his act by Sunday too.	Trust me, you're going to be sick of his act by Sunday too.
695	00:32:21,533	00:32:22,735	BILLY: You got kids?	BILLY: You got kids?
696	00:32:22,769	00:32:25,270	I got kids all different ages, man.	I got kids all different ages, man.
697	00:32:25,304	00:32:27,707	I got one daughter who just got out of college.	I got one daughter who just got out of college.
698	00:32:27,740	00:32:29,374	And you can applause for that.	And you can applause for that.
699	00:32:29,408	00:32:31,343	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
700	00:32:31,376	00:32:33,780	She didn't... She didn't graduate or anything.	She didn't... She didn't graduate or anything.
701	00:32:33,813	00:32:34,881	She just got out.	She just got out.
702	00:32:34,914	00:32:36,816	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
703	00:32:36,849	00:32:38,350	Oh, my God.	Oh, my God.
704	00:32:38,383	00:32:40,853	Holy shit, you killed it, Chris.	Holy shit, you killed it, Chris.
705	00:32:40,887	00:32:43,790	You too. That fucking elevator bit's a killer.	You too. That fucking elevator bit's a killer.
706	00:32:43,823	00:32:45,557	You know, they do sexting.	You know, they do sexting.
707	00:32:45,591	00:32:47,292	I tried to do that with my girl, you know?	I tried to do that with my girl, you know?
708	00:32:47,326	00:32:49,561	I'll try sexting her. I said the other day,	I'll try sexting her. I said the other day,
709	00:32:49,595	00:32:52,197	I was like, "Hey, baby, what's up?"	I was like, "Hey, baby, what's up?"
710	00:32:52,230	00:32:56,301	You know? "Daddy about to pull up," you know?	You know? "Daddy about to pull up," you know?
711	00:32:56,335	00:32:58,671	"I might want to...."	"I might want to...."
712	00:32:58,705	00:33:00,907	She texts me back, "Pick up some bread."	She texts me back, "Pick up some bread."
713	00:33:00,940	00:33:03,141	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
714	00:33:03,175	00:33:04,844	Hey, Chrissy, I got Billy G	Hey, Chrissy, I got Billy G
715	00:33:04,877	00:33:06,746	doing four radio stations tomorrow.	doing four radio stations tomorrow.
716	00:33:06,779	00:33:09,414	But one station still wants a comic for their Friday funnies.	But one station still wants a comic for their Friday funnies.
717	00:33:09,448	00:33:11,818	So I need you to get up at 7:00 AM and do press for me.	So I need you to get up at 7:00 AM and do press for me.
718	00:33:11,851	00:33:12,885	CHRIS: 7:00 AM?	CHRIS: 7:00 AM?
719	00:33:12,919	00:33:14,887	Yeah, if you want to keep working at my club, yeah.	Yeah, if you want to keep working at my club, yeah.
720	00:33:14,921	00:33:18,457	Can I bring Will?	Can I bring Will?
721	00:33:18,490	00:33:20,893	Yeah, if that helps you get up for a 7:00 AM wake up.	Yeah, if that helps you get up for a 7:00 AM wake up.
722	00:33:20,927	00:33:23,428	Sure. Ricky will pick you up.	Sure. Ricky will pick you up.
723	00:33:23,462	00:33:27,399	Will, I got my eyes and ears on you.	Will, I got my eyes and ears on you.
724	00:33:27,432	00:33:30,402	[BILLY SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]	[BILLY SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
725	00:33:30,435	00:33:33,505	See you at 7:00 AM.	See you at 7:00 AM.
726	00:33:33,538	00:33:35,440	- I've never done radio before. - Don't worry about it.	- I've never done radio before. - Don't worry about it.
727	00:33:35,474	00:33:37,576	It's easy. You just do a joke or two from your act.	It's easy. You just do a joke or two from your act.
728	00:33:37,609	00:33:38,878	Piece of cake.	Piece of cake.
729	00:33:38,911	00:33:41,246	Oh, we're in business, buddy. Hello.	Oh, we're in business, buddy. Hello.
730	00:33:41,279	00:33:43,415	Excuse me, I'm here to redeem my coupon.	Excuse me, I'm here to redeem my coupon.
731	00:33:43,448	00:33:45,685	Good for one free drink with a comedian.	Good for one free drink with a comedian.
732	00:33:45,718	00:33:48,387	- Hope it's good for two. - Take a look at that.	- Hope it's good for two. - Take a look at that.
733	00:33:48,420	00:33:51,390	Yes, it is. Not valid in Hawaii or Alaska.	Yes, it is. Not valid in Hawaii or Alaska.
734	00:33:51,423	00:33:53,492	I'm Chris. This is my friend Will.	I'm Chris. This is my friend Will.
735	00:33:53,525	00:33:55,260	- You guys were so funny. - Like, we're dead.	- You guys were so funny. - Like, we're dead.
736	00:33:55,293	00:33:57,730	Like sick funny, like we're not alive, yeah.	Like sick funny, like we're not alive, yeah.
737	00:33:57,764	00:34:00,800	And I tell you what, my own son, on a count of three,	And I tell you what, my own son, on a count of three,
738	00:34:00,833	00:34:02,601	he came off the breast and he said...	he came off the breast and he said...
739	00:34:02,635	00:34:04,971	AUDIENCE: "Oh, Billy.,"	AUDIENCE: "Oh, Billy.,"
740	00:34:05,004	00:34:08,206	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
741	00:34:11,010	00:34:13,612	"Oh, Billy."	"Oh, Billy."
742	00:34:13,646	00:34:16,949	Hey, that's my time, guys.	Hey, that's my time, guys.
743	00:34:16,983	00:34:19,886	Thank you, Pennsylvania.	Thank you, Pennsylvania.
744	00:34:19,919	00:34:22,287	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
745	00:34:27,894	00:34:30,328	Oh, Billy, you killed it tonight.	Oh, Billy, you killed it tonight.
746	00:34:30,362	00:34:32,230	[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]	[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
747	00:34:32,264	00:34:34,734	[MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]	[MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]
748	00:34:34,767	00:34:37,269	"Oh, Billy."	"Oh, Billy."
749	00:34:37,302	00:34:39,872	Bro, it is time for the night shift to begin.	Bro, it is time for the night shift to begin.
750	00:34:39,906	00:34:43,408	We, and I mean we, are heading next door to the pub.	We, and I mean we, are heading next door to the pub.
751	00:34:43,442	00:34:45,577	But don't we have radio first thing in the morning tomorrow?	But don't we have radio first thing in the morning tomorrow?
752	00:34:45,610	00:34:47,847	I mean, maybe we should stay fresh and just kind of chill.	I mean, maybe we should stay fresh and just kind of chill.
753	00:34:47,880	00:34:50,582	Dude, did you just rock your first fucking improv?	Dude, did you just rock your first fucking improv?
754	00:34:50,615	00:34:52,350	- I think so. - Yeah, you did.	- I think so. - Yeah, you did.
755	00:34:52,384	00:34:54,954	Oh, my God, you are, like, so hilarious.	Oh, my God, you are, like, so hilarious.
756	00:34:54,987	00:34:57,322	CHRIS: So I think we should take a victory lap.	CHRIS: So I think we should take a victory lap.
757	00:34:57,355	00:34:59,025	Besides, you'd be the first comic I've ever met	Besides, you'd be the first comic I've ever met
758	00:34:59,058	00:35:00,960	who wants to go to bed after a great set.	who wants to go to bed after a great set.
759	00:35:00,993	00:35:02,594	Aren't you fucking wired, bro?	Aren't you fucking wired, bro?
760	00:35:02,628	00:35:04,396	- A little bit. - A little bit?	- A little bit. - A little bit?
761	00:35:04,429	00:35:06,398	And, like, comedy, like, for me, like, I'm just going to say,	And, like, comedy, like, for me, like, I'm just going to say,
762	00:35:06,431	00:35:09,501	like, I've never even noticed, but comedy is, like, so funny.	like, I've never even noticed, but comedy is, like, so funny.
763	00:35:09,534	00:35:12,905	That's a fantastic observation. These two are very astute.	That's a fantastic observation. These two are very astute.
764	00:35:12,939	00:35:14,974	Okay, okay, I kind of just want to talk to Billy	Okay, okay, I kind of just want to talk to Billy
765	00:35:15,007	00:35:16,341	for a little bit.	for a little bit.
766	00:35:16,374	00:35:17,977	Suit yourself.	Suit yourself.
767	00:35:18,010	00:35:20,579	Meet me there, okay?	Meet me there, okay?
768	00:35:20,612	00:35:23,315	- WOMAN: Hold my hand. - Yes, you got it.	- WOMAN: Hold my hand. - Yes, you got it.
769	00:35:28,888	00:35:30,489	[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]	[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]
770	00:35:30,522	00:35:32,491	Hey, you. How's things?	Hey, you. How's things?
771	00:35:32,524	00:35:35,494	Well, the condo makes my place look like the Four Seasons.	Well, the condo makes my place look like the Four Seasons.
772	00:35:35,527	00:35:38,463	That nice, huh? How'd your set go?	That nice, huh? How'd your set go?
773	00:35:38,497	00:35:40,032	- I'm still standing. - JEN: Give me more.	- I'm still standing. - JEN: Give me more.
774	00:35:40,066	00:35:42,300	- How's Billy G? - Oh, boy.	- How's Billy G? - Oh, boy.
775	00:35:42,334	00:35:43,803	What?	What?
776	00:35:43,836	00:35:46,773	I messed up his intro tonight. I'm going to fix it.	I messed up his intro tonight. I'm going to fix it.
777	00:35:46,806	00:35:48,841	I don't know, I don't want to talk about it right now.	I don't know, I don't want to talk about it right now.
778	00:35:48,875	00:35:50,442	You'll get it right tomorrow.	You'll get it right tomorrow.
779	00:35:50,475	00:35:52,044	WILL: I still don't want to talk about it.	WILL: I still don't want to talk about it.
780	00:35:52,078	00:35:54,412	You know? It's just kind of fresh and painful right now.	You know? It's just kind of fresh and painful right now.
781	00:35:54,446	00:35:56,716	- How are you? - Good. Good.	- How are you? - Good. Good.
782	00:35:56,749	00:35:59,417	Long day, but still have to finish my lesson plan	Long day, but still have to finish my lesson plan
783	00:35:59,451	00:36:01,954	and grade 32 book reports on "Oh, the Places You'll Go."	and grade 32 book reports on "Oh, the Places You'll Go."
784	00:36:01,988	00:36:03,756	And throw away 18 macaroni necklaces	And throw away 18 macaroni necklaces
785	00:36:03,790	00:36:05,390	that have been in my car for three weeks.	that have been in my car for three weeks.
786	00:36:05,423	00:36:08,795	Nice. You can make mac and cheese out of those.	Nice. You can make mac and cheese out of those.
787	00:36:08,828	00:36:10,428	JEN: Look, I'm going to head to bed.	JEN: Look, I'm going to head to bed.
788	00:36:10,462	00:36:11,898	- Love you. - I love you.	- Love you. - I love you.
789	00:36:17,003	00:36:20,338	[CHEERING]	[CHEERING]
790	00:36:20,372	00:36:23,643	Oh, sorry.	Oh, sorry.
791	00:36:23,676	00:36:25,377	- Hey. - Here he is.	- Hey. - Here he is.
792	00:36:25,410	00:36:26,913	Let's get to work, dude.	Let's get to work, dude.
793	00:36:26,946	00:36:29,015	So just a heads up, I actually have a girl back home.	So just a heads up, I actually have a girl back home.
794	00:36:29,048	00:36:31,616	Oh, you know what? Just a heads up, so do I, yeah.	Oh, you know what? Just a heads up, so do I, yeah.
795	00:36:31,651	00:36:35,554	Back in Miami. And Indy, Toledo, and Austin.	Back in Miami. And Indy, Toledo, and Austin.
796	00:36:35,587	00:36:38,057	And I've got one right out there too. Mm.	And I've got one right out there too. Mm.
797	00:36:38,090	00:36:39,725	Just keep her friend busy for me, okay?	Just keep her friend busy for me, okay?
798	00:36:39,759	00:36:41,794	That's all I ask. Just be a wingman.	That's all I ask. Just be a wingman.
799	00:36:43,963	00:36:46,065	Come on. Come on, buddy.	Come on. Come on, buddy.
800	00:36:46,098	00:36:47,800	How long were you going to make me wait?	How long were you going to make me wait?
801	00:36:47,834	00:36:49,735	Oh, I'm sorry, are we having our first fight?	Oh, I'm sorry, are we having our first fight?
802	00:36:49,769	00:36:52,939	- Are we married? - Mm-hmm.	- Are we married? - Mm-hmm.
803	00:36:52,972	00:36:56,943	I love a guy that can make me laugh.	I love a guy that can make me laugh.
804	00:36:56,976	00:36:59,444	Oh, okay, okay. So actually, I have a girlfriend.	Oh, okay, okay. So actually, I have a girlfriend.
805	00:36:59,477	00:37:01,914	That's cool. I have a boyfriend.	That's cool. I have a boyfriend.
806	00:37:01,948	00:37:04,449	[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]	[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
807	00:37:07,787	00:37:09,121	Thanks, I'm okay.	Thanks, I'm okay.
808	00:37:09,155	00:37:11,523	Got you. Not the kissing kind.	Got you. Not the kissing kind.
809	00:37:11,556	00:37:12,892	WILL: Oh, okay.	WILL: Oh, okay.
810	00:37:12,925	00:37:16,028	That is my cue to exit.	That is my cue to exit.
811	00:37:16,062	00:37:19,397	Nice meeting you. Bye-bye.	Nice meeting you. Bye-bye.
812	00:37:20,099	00:37:22,768	Megan. Megan.	Megan. Megan.
813	00:37:22,802	00:37:24,569	Hey, shy guy.	Hey, shy guy.
814	00:37:24,603	00:37:26,706	Where are all the party peoples?	Where are all the party peoples?
815	00:37:26,739	00:37:28,506	Whoo!	Whoo!
816	00:37:28,540	00:37:29,709	[SIGHS]	[SIGHS]
817	00:37:29,742	00:37:32,410	Will, I'm so sorry to do this.	Will, I'm so sorry to do this.
818	00:37:32,444	00:37:34,113	Can you actually make sure Sophie gets home okay?	Can you actually make sure Sophie gets home okay?
819	00:37:34,146	00:37:37,482	She's way too wasted to take a cab by herself.	She's way too wasted to take a cab by herself.
820	00:37:37,515	00:37:40,186	Oh, and shit, that was funny on stage before	Oh, and shit, that was funny on stage before
821	00:37:40,219	00:37:43,421	with the jokes, so good... good job.	with the jokes, so good... good job.
822	00:37:43,455	00:37:44,556	You're the best, bud.	You're the best, bud.
823	00:37:44,589	00:37:45,858	Second best.	Second best.
824	00:37:45,892	00:37:48,861	He's the best.	He's the best.
825	00:37:48,895	00:37:50,495	Where is everyone?	Where is everyone?
826	00:37:50,528	00:37:51,931	Hi.	Hi.
827	00:37:51,964	00:37:52,999	Hello.	Hello.
828	00:37:53,032	00:37:56,434	Hello.	Hello.
829	00:37:56,468	00:37:57,703	So, where to, kids?	So, where to, kids?
830	00:37:57,737	00:37:58,971	Where do you live?	Where do you live?
831	00:37:59,005	00:38:02,708	Um, um, um, um, 267 Wildwood Lane.	Um, um, um, um, 267 Wildwood Lane.
832	00:38:02,742	00:38:05,477	267 Wildwood Lane, and we're coming right back here.	267 Wildwood Lane, and we're coming right back here.
833	00:38:05,510	00:38:06,879	- So two stops. - We're coming right back here.	- So two stops. - We're coming right back here.
834	00:38:06,913	00:38:09,115	- Wildwood Lanes. - SOPHIE: Whoo!	- Wildwood Lanes. - SOPHIE: Whoo!
835	00:38:09,148	00:38:11,651	That's a bit of a trip. I'm going to need cash up front.	That's a bit of a trip. I'm going to need cash up front.
836	00:38:11,684	00:38:12,718	SOPHIE: Going to need cash up front.	SOPHIE: Going to need cash up front.
837	00:38:12,752	00:38:13,986	- What? - Yeah.	- What? - Yeah.
838	00:38:14,020	00:38:15,888	That's what the man said.	That's what the man said.
839	00:38:15,922	00:38:18,658	Más, cabron.	Más, cabron.
840	00:38:18,691	00:38:20,993	- Are you fucking kidding me? - Yeah, más means more.	- Are you fucking kidding me? - Yeah, más means more.
841	00:38:21,027	00:38:22,828	Más. More.	Más. More.
842	00:38:22,862	00:38:24,462	Come on, let's go.	Come on, let's go.
843	00:38:24,496	00:38:25,665	Let's go!	Let's go!
844	00:38:25,698	00:38:26,799	[ENGINE STARTS]	[ENGINE STARTS]
845	00:38:32,838	00:38:35,540	WILL: How far are we?	WILL: How far are we?
846	00:38:35,573	00:38:37,009	Are you sure this is where you live?	Are you sure this is where you live?
847	00:38:37,043	00:38:39,511	SOPHIE: What even is time?	SOPHIE: What even is time?
848	00:38:39,544	00:38:42,048	WILL: Are we on a dirt road?	WILL: Are we on a dirt road?
849	00:38:55,194	00:38:57,529	Okay, looks like, uh, this is it.	Okay, looks like, uh, this is it.
850	00:38:57,562	00:39:00,232	This place is weird, man.	This place is weird, man.
851	00:39:00,266	00:39:02,101	Oh, I'm home. Come on in.	Oh, I'm home. Come on in.
852	00:39:02,134	00:39:04,203	No, no, no, I got an early thing tomorrow in the morning.	No, no, no, I got an early thing tomorrow in the morning.
853	00:39:04,236	00:39:05,871	Come on. Hungry?	Come on. Hungry?
854	00:39:05,905	00:39:08,207	- I have Hot Pockets. - No, no, no, no thanks.	- I have Hot Pockets. - No, no, no, no thanks.
855	00:39:08,240	00:39:10,209	Oh, my God. Okay.	Oh, my God. Okay.
856	00:39:10,242	00:39:11,509	I got it.	I got it.
857	00:39:11,543	00:39:13,646	Okay. She...	Okay. She...
858	00:39:13,679	00:39:15,648	- [SOPHIE LAUGHING] - Shit.	- [SOPHIE LAUGHING] - Shit.
859	00:39:15,681	00:39:17,950	Shit.	Shit.
860	00:39:17,984	00:39:19,185	Okay, I'm just going to help her in.	Okay, I'm just going to help her in.
861	00:39:19,218	00:39:20,219	I'll be right back.	I'll be right back.
862	00:39:20,252	00:39:21,954	I have a bad feeling about this.	I have a bad feeling about this.
863	00:39:21,988	00:39:23,823	Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.	Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
864	00:39:23,856	00:39:25,623	Getting some bad vibes around here.	Getting some bad vibes around here.
865	00:39:25,658	00:39:27,793	Stay right here. I'll be right back.	Stay right here. I'll be right back.
866	00:39:27,827	00:39:29,295	- My knight in shining armor. - [ENGINE STARTS]	- My knight in shining armor. - [ENGINE STARTS]
867	00:39:29,328	00:39:32,064	No, no, no, come on.	No, no, no, come on.
868	00:39:32,098	00:39:34,033	Hey, where you going?	Hey, where you going?
869	00:39:34,066	00:39:36,002	Fuck, he has my phone.	Fuck, he has my phone.
870	00:39:36,035	00:39:40,172	Yes, 267 Wildwood Lanes, okay?	Yes, 267 Wildwood Lanes, okay?
871	00:39:40,206	00:39:41,907	- I need to get out of here. - Happy new year!	- I need to get out of here. - Happy new year!
872	00:39:41,941	00:39:44,143	So if anybody can come get me in just under 45 minutes,	So if anybody can come get me in just under 45 minutes,
873	00:39:44,176	00:39:46,012	I'll pay them double, okay?	I'll pay them double, okay?
874	00:39:46,045	00:39:48,114	Okay?	Okay?
875	00:39:48,147	00:39:50,716	Haven't seen my phone, have you?	Haven't seen my phone, have you?
876	00:39:50,750	00:39:52,018	- Unh-unh. - [COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]	- Unh-unh. - [COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
877	00:39:52,051	00:39:54,253	- [TELEPHONE CLATTERS] - Damn it.	- [TELEPHONE CLATTERS] - Damn it.
878	00:39:54,286	00:39:57,289	[SOPHIE LAUGHS]	[SOPHIE LAUGHS]
879	00:39:57,323	00:40:00,726	You really packing some heat there, huh?	You really packing some heat there, huh?
880	00:40:00,760	00:40:02,094	Yeah. [LAUGHS]	Yeah. [LAUGHS]
881	00:40:02,128	00:40:05,965	No, I'm just talking about the guns, but...	No, I'm just talking about the guns, but...
882	00:40:05,998	00:40:07,933	Yeah.	Yeah.
883	00:40:07,967	00:40:10,136	Give me that dick.	Give me that dick.
884	00:40:12,872	00:40:14,807	[LAUGHS]	[LAUGHS]
885	00:40:14,840	00:40:17,843	Psyche. It's not even loaded.	Psyche. It's not even loaded.
886	00:40:17,877	00:40:20,046	- WILL: But you are. - Shut up.	- WILL: But you are. - Shut up.
887	00:40:20,079	00:40:21,613	Just a little.	Just a little.
888	00:40:21,647	00:40:23,082	WILL: I really need to get out of here.	WILL: I really need to get out of here.
889	00:40:23,115	00:40:25,084	Promise I won't tell anybody.	Promise I won't tell anybody.
890	00:40:25,117	00:40:28,020	You know what, no, no, I-I've asked you nicely already.	You know what, no, no, I-I've asked you nicely already.
891	00:40:28,054	00:40:30,622	- Okay, let's just... - [VEHICLE APPROACHES]	- Okay, let's just... - [VEHICLE APPROACHES]
892	00:40:30,656	00:40:32,858	- [SIREN CHIRPS] - Holy shit.	- [SIREN CHIRPS] - Holy shit.
893	00:40:32,892	00:40:35,361	- What? - My boyfriend's here.	- What? - My boyfriend's here.
894	00:40:35,394	00:40:36,862	- What? - He'll kill you.	- What? - He'll kill you.
895	00:40:36,896	00:40:38,664	Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.	Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
896	00:40:48,941	00:40:50,643	Bye.	Bye.
897	00:40:50,676	00:40:52,577	- [SIREN CHIRPS] - Baby.	- [SIREN CHIRPS] - Baby.
898	00:40:54,346	00:40:56,614	MAN: Somebody call?	MAN: Somebody call?
899	00:40:56,649	00:41:00,252	A really dirty girl?	A really dirty girl?
900	00:41:00,286	00:41:03,823	That pussy better be as tight as it was when I left this morning.	That pussy better be as tight as it was when I left this morning.
901	00:41:03,856	00:41:07,326	[SOPHIE LAUGHS]	[SOPHIE LAUGHS]
902	00:41:07,359	00:41:09,628	MAN: Christ.	MAN: Christ.
903	00:41:09,662	00:41:10,963	That was a long-ass day.	That was a long-ass day.
904	00:41:10,996	00:41:13,365	10 hours of non-stop bullshit.	10 hours of non-stop bullshit.
905	00:41:13,399	00:41:15,868	I need it. Let's lock and load.	I need it. Let's lock and load.
906	00:41:15,901	00:41:19,738	SOPHIE: I'm on it. Let's do it.	SOPHIE: I'm on it. Let's do it.
907	00:41:19,772	00:41:22,942	MAN: Oh, yes.	MAN: Oh, yes.
908	00:41:22,975	00:41:26,178	Yes.	Yes.
909	00:41:26,212	00:41:28,380	Oh, God, yes.	Oh, God, yes.
910	00:41:30,116	00:41:32,418	[GUN COCKS]	[GUN COCKS]
911	00:41:32,451	00:41:34,120	Oh, baby.	Oh, baby.
912	00:41:34,153	00:41:36,288	[GUNSHOTS]	[GUNSHOTS]
913	00:41:49,735	00:41:51,036	Could have been you.	Could have been you.
914	00:41:53,205	00:41:54,907	MAN: What?	MAN: What?
915	00:41:57,042	00:41:58,811	C-Could you have been you.	C-Could you have been you.
916	00:41:58,844	00:42:01,981	Like... like, um, like the 50 Cent song	Like... like, um, like the 50 Cent song
917	00:42:02,014	00:42:05,851	because you love 50 and I love 50.	because you love 50 and I love 50.
918	00:42:05,885	00:42:08,187	And that's just what I always think about	And that's just what I always think about
919	00:42:08,220	00:42:10,156	when I'm taking care of my man.	when I'm taking care of my man.
920	00:42:10,189	00:42:12,224	Oh, baby. Let's get horizontal,	Oh, baby. Let's get horizontal,
921	00:42:12,258	00:42:14,126	then tomorrow Red Lobster.	then tomorrow Red Lobster.
922	00:42:14,160	00:42:15,394	Yay!	Yay!
923	00:42:15,427	00:42:17,096	Get up here.	Get up here.
924	00:42:17,129	00:42:21,400	[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]	[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
925	00:42:21,834	00:42:24,370	[OWL HOOTS]	[OWL HOOTS]
926	00:42:34,980	00:42:36,215	Sorry about that, man.	Sorry about that, man.
927	00:42:36,248	00:42:38,417	I was a bit creeped out back there.	I was a bit creeped out back there.
928	00:42:38,450	00:42:40,886	[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]	[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]
929	00:42:40,920	00:42:43,189	- This is yours. - Holy shit, thank you.	- This is yours. - Holy shit, thank you.
930	00:42:43,222	00:42:45,024	Don't thank me. Thank your friend Chip.	Don't thank me. Thank your friend Chip.
931	00:42:45,057	00:42:47,893	He called you like 12 times on the phone.	He called you like 12 times on the phone.
932	00:42:47,927	00:42:50,062	- Chip. - Come on, let's go, man.	- Chip. - Come on, let's go, man.
933	00:42:50,095	00:42:51,430	WILL: I've got radio in the morning.	WILL: I've got radio in the morning.
934	00:42:51,463	00:42:53,199	Yeah, and I'm Jeff Gordon.	Yeah, and I'm Jeff Gordon.
935	00:43:01,540	00:43:03,075	I'm sorry you had to see this,	I'm sorry you had to see this,
936	00:43:03,108	00:43:05,144	but a gal's gotta have her beauty routine.	but a gal's gotta have her beauty routine.
937	00:43:05,177	00:43:07,046	Don't look at me, I'm hideous.	Don't look at me, I'm hideous.
938	00:43:07,079	00:43:08,247	Night, Chris.	Night, Chris.
939	00:43:08,280	00:43:09,748	CHRIS: Love you, bud.	CHRIS: Love you, bud.
940	00:43:16,155	00:43:19,191	- [KNOCK ON DOOR] - Where's my little guy?	- [KNOCK ON DOOR] - Where's my little guy?
941	00:43:19,225	00:43:21,260	Where's my little guy?	Where's my little guy?
942	00:43:21,293	00:43:23,028	Will, it's radio time.	Will, it's radio time.
943	00:43:23,062	00:43:24,797	Come on, you sweet little pea pea.	Come on, you sweet little pea pea.
944	00:43:24,830	00:43:27,366	[GROANS]	[GROANS]
945	00:43:27,399	00:43:28,834	CHRIS: Let's do it.	CHRIS: Let's do it.
946	00:43:28,867	00:43:33,806	[PUNK MUSIC PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]	[PUNK MUSIC PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]
947	00:43:33,839	00:43:37,509	WILL: The cop was there the whole time.	WILL: The cop was there the whole time.
948	00:43:37,543	00:43:41,080	And it was insane. Just staring. And...	And it was insane. Just staring. And...
949	00:43:41,113	00:43:44,149	CHRIS: Holy shit, dude, that is a crazy story.	CHRIS: Holy shit, dude, that is a crazy story.
950	00:43:44,183	00:43:46,885	I'm sorry I left you with her, but that's fucking funny.	I'm sorry I left you with her, but that's fucking funny.
951	00:43:46,919	00:43:48,988	Fuck you, Chris.	Fuck you, Chris.
952	00:43:49,021	00:43:51,090	Hey, yo, I got to stay back here	Hey, yo, I got to stay back here
953	00:43:51,123	00:43:52,258	but I got to handle some shit, alright?	but I got to handle some shit, alright?
954	00:43:52,291	00:43:54,026	Alright.	Alright.
955	00:44:05,871	00:44:07,339	Chris, hey. Hey, baby.	Chris, hey. Hey, baby.
956	00:44:07,373	00:44:09,108	Randy's psyched to have you back on the show, man.	Randy's psyched to have you back on the show, man.
957	00:44:09,141	00:44:10,843	- We all are. - Thank you.	- We all are. - Thank you.
958	00:44:10,876	00:44:12,011	I haven't seeing you since...	I haven't seeing you since...
959	00:44:12,044	00:44:13,512	Oh, my God, last time I saw you,	Oh, my God, last time I saw you,
960	00:44:13,545	00:44:15,347	did you end up hooking up with that blonde?	did you end up hooking up with that blonde?
961	00:44:15,381	00:44:17,182	- Blonde? - The doctor, the blonde,	- Blonde? - The doctor, the blonde,
962	00:44:17,216	00:44:18,484	the hot-ass blonde.	the hot-ass blonde.
963	00:44:18,517	00:44:20,853	- Not sure I remember. - You don't re...	- Not sure I remember. - You don't re...
964	00:44:20,886	00:44:23,989	Jesus Christ, I'd remember her for the rest of my life.	Jesus Christ, I'd remember her for the rest of my life.
965	00:44:24,023	00:44:25,424	- Who is this? - Oh, this is Will.	- Who is this? - Oh, this is Will.
966	00:44:25,457	00:44:26,859	He is emceeing this weekend.	He is emceeing this weekend.
967	00:44:26,892	00:44:28,560	Super funny guy. Is there room for him?	Super funny guy. Is there room for him?
968	00:44:28,594	00:44:30,929	Yeah. You got to share a mic, though.	Yeah. You got to share a mic, though.
969	00:44:30,963	00:44:32,298	[DOOR OPENS]	[DOOR OPENS]
970	00:44:32,331	00:44:33,599	CHRIS: It's alright.	CHRIS: It's alright.
971	00:44:33,633	00:44:37,269	[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]	[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
972	00:44:37,303	00:44:40,339	RANDY: And we're back from the break, y'alls guys.	RANDY: And we're back from the break, y'alls guys.
973	00:44:40,372	00:44:43,008	Our next guest can be seen yuk-yuking it up this weeked	Our next guest can be seen yuk-yuking it up this weeked
974	00:44:43,042	00:44:46,111	at the Pennsylvania Improv with headliner Billy G.	at the Pennsylvania Improv with headliner Billy G.
975	00:44:46,145	00:44:50,482	For WGHS's Friday funnies sponsored by Kirby's Donuts,	For WGHS's Friday funnies sponsored by Kirby's Donuts,
976	00:44:50,516	00:44:55,020	please welcome my good buddy Chris Palmer and...	please welcome my good buddy Chris Palmer and...
977	00:44:55,054	00:44:56,889	Will. Will Chu.	Will. Will Chu.
978	00:44:56,922	00:44:58,457	Welcome to the Morning Zoo, fellas.	Welcome to the Morning Zoo, fellas.
979	00:44:58,490	00:45:00,559	Oh, you know, Randy let me just say	Oh, you know, Randy let me just say
980	00:45:00,592	00:45:03,028	from the bottom of my heart, you're welcome.	from the bottom of my heart, you're welcome.
981	00:45:03,062	00:45:05,397	- [LAUGHTER] - [MONKEY HOOTS]	- [LAUGHTER] - [MONKEY HOOTS]
982	00:45:05,431	00:45:06,932	Well, Chris, last time you were in town,	Well, Chris, last time you were in town,
983	00:45:06,965	00:45:09,234	I went and saw your set. It was hilarious.	I went and saw your set. It was hilarious.
984	00:45:09,268	00:45:10,536	The ladies really dig this guy.	The ladies really dig this guy.
985	00:45:10,569	00:45:12,104	- We love him. - Thank you again.	- We love him. - Thank you again.
986	00:45:12,137	00:45:13,505	You know, when I came back from that show,	You know, when I came back from that show,
987	00:45:13,539	00:45:15,341	I was telling these guys about your Florida bit,	I was telling these guys about your Florida bit,
988	00:45:15,374	00:45:18,210	and I was hoping you would grace us with it.	and I was hoping you would grace us with it.
989	00:45:18,243	00:45:19,912	For you, anything.	For you, anything.
990	00:45:19,945	00:45:22,014	Yeah, Florida man, so Florida man,	Yeah, Florida man, so Florida man,
991	00:45:22,047	00:45:24,350	are we ever going to see a headline	are we ever going to see a headline
992	00:45:24,383	00:45:27,252	that's good that has the phrase "a Florida man"?	that's good that has the phrase "a Florida man"?
993	00:45:27,286	00:45:28,320	You guys know what I'm talking about?	You guys know what I'm talking about?
994	00:45:28,354	00:45:30,255	It's always "a Florida man	It's always "a Florida man
995	00:45:30,289	00:45:33,325	claims his wife was kidnapped by holograms."	claims his wife was kidnapped by holograms."
996	00:45:33,359	00:45:36,929	Or "a Florida man set fire to his apartment complex	Or "a Florida man set fire to his apartment complex
997	00:45:36,962	00:45:39,264	because his landlord told him to stop masturbating	because his landlord told him to stop masturbating
998	00:45:39,298	00:45:42,034	in front his windows." I mean, what's next?	in front his windows." I mean, what's next?
999	00:45:42,067	00:45:46,939	"A Florida man saves another Florida man from a Florida man"?	"A Florida man saves another Florida man from a Florida man"?
1000	00:45:46,972	00:45:49,007	Love it, love it. I love it.	Love it, love it. I love it.
1001	00:45:49,041	00:45:50,609	[SIREN WHOOPS]	[SIREN WHOOPS]
1002	00:45:50,643	00:45:52,044	Did you guys know that	Did you guys know that
1003	00:45:52,077	00:45:54,380	Ponce de Leon discovered Florida?	Ponce de Leon discovered Florida?
1004	00:45:54,413	00:45:57,616	So he was looking for the fountain of youth,	So he was looking for the fountain of youth,
1005	00:45:57,650	00:46:00,986	and I don't know if you guys have been to Florida lately,	and I don't know if you guys have been to Florida lately,
1006	00:46:01,019	00:46:03,322	but it's not definitely not in Florida.	but it's not definitely not in Florida.
1007	00:46:04,323	00:46:07,126	[CRICKETS CHIRP]	[CRICKETS CHIRP]
1008	00:46:07,159	00:46:09,361	So, uh, Will, what's going on in your world?	So, uh, Will, what's going on in your world?
1009	00:46:09,395	00:46:12,564	Oh, well, this guy had a little adventure last night,	Oh, well, this guy had a little adventure last night,
1010	00:46:12,598	00:46:13,700	right, pal?	right, pal?
1011	00:46:13,733	00:46:15,300	I don't think I want to talk...	I don't think I want to talk...
1012	00:46:15,334	00:46:17,069	Come on, it's live radio. Give us something, buddy.	Come on, it's live radio. Give us something, buddy.
1013	00:46:17,102	00:46:18,937	- Dish. - Have at it.	- Dish. - Have at it.
1014	00:46:18,971	00:46:22,474	I ended up in a cab with a very nice young lady last night.	I ended up in a cab with a very nice young lady last night.
1015	00:46:22,508	00:46:24,476	And she was trying to hook up with me.	And she was trying to hook up with me.
1016	00:46:24,510	00:46:26,512	But I have a girlfriend back...	But I have a girlfriend back...
1017	00:46:26,545	00:46:30,115	- VAL: Uh-oh. - And then what happened?	- VAL: Uh-oh. - And then what happened?
1018	00:46:30,149	00:46:33,185	So I jumped out of a window of her trailer	So I jumped out of a window of her trailer
1019	00:46:33,218	00:46:37,256	because her boyfriend pulled up and he was a police officer.	because her boyfriend pulled up and he was a police officer.
1020	00:46:37,289	00:46:41,093	And let's just say he really knows	And let's just say he really knows
1021	00:46:41,126	00:46:43,228	how to blow off some steam.	how to blow off some steam.
1022	00:46:43,262	00:46:47,399	[CRICKETS CHIRPING]	[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
1023	00:46:47,433	00:46:50,235	Like, he... he knows how to blow off some steam.	Like, he... he knows how to blow off some steam.
1024	00:46:50,269	00:46:52,037	MAN: We heard it.	MAN: We heard it.
1025	00:46:52,070	00:46:53,706	RANDY: Okay, Will, this is the Friday funnies.	RANDY: Okay, Will, this is the Friday funnies.
1026	00:46:53,740	00:46:57,509	Why don't you try giving us something funny?	Why don't you try giving us something funny?
1027	00:46:57,543	00:46:59,611	Okay, so I'm from Ohio.	Okay, so I'm from Ohio.
1028	00:46:59,646	00:47:02,347	- Boo. - Come on.	- Boo. - Come on.
1029	00:47:02,381	00:47:05,350	- Originally I was from Kansas. - That's not funny either.	- Originally I was from Kansas. - That's not funny either.
1030	00:47:05,384	00:47:06,653	RANDY: Alright, let's check in with Bill	RANDY: Alright, let's check in with Bill
1031	00:47:06,686	00:47:08,520	and hear about this weekend's weather.	and hear about this weekend's weather.
1032	00:47:08,554	00:47:10,556	Okay, this weekend's forecast,	Okay, this weekend's forecast,
1033	00:47:10,589	00:47:12,191	going to be a good one, Zoo Crew.	going to be a good one, Zoo Crew.
1034	00:47:12,224	00:47:13,726	- Friday... - What am I looking at here?	- Friday... - What am I looking at here?
1035	00:47:13,760	00:47:15,360	'Cause I want to be prepared.	'Cause I want to be prepared.
1036	00:47:15,394	00:47:17,996	Alright, Friday is sunny with a high of 70 degrees.	Alright, Friday is sunny with a high of 70 degrees.
1037	00:47:18,030	00:47:21,300	Whoo, cotton T's, capri pants, open-toed sandals, ladies SPF15.	Whoo, cotton T's, capri pants, open-toed sandals, ladies SPF15.
1038	00:47:21,333	00:47:24,236	BILL: Saturday is sunny with a high of 76 degrees.	BILL: Saturday is sunny with a high of 76 degrees.
1039	00:47:24,269	00:47:27,740	Tank top, cut-offs, flip-flops, SPF30.	Tank top, cut-offs, flip-flops, SPF30.
1040	00:47:27,774	00:47:30,576	And Sunday, we got a high of 82 degrees.	And Sunday, we got a high of 82 degrees.
1041	00:47:30,609	00:47:34,346	VAL: I'm calling sports bra, no bottoms, barefoot, SPF50.	VAL: I'm calling sports bra, no bottoms, barefoot, SPF50.
1042	00:47:34,379	00:47:37,717	- You rock, Bill. - No, Val, you rock.	- You rock, Bill. - No, Val, you rock.
1043	00:47:37,750	00:47:39,051	What's the news?	What's the news?
1044	00:47:39,084	00:47:40,586	- Huey Lewis. - Huey Lewis.	- Huey Lewis. - Huey Lewis.
1045	00:47:40,619	00:47:42,521	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
1046	00:47:42,554	00:47:43,790	VAL: Back to you, Randy.	VAL: Back to you, Randy.
1047	00:47:43,823	00:47:45,624	Alright, as you know, Friday funnies	Alright, as you know, Friday funnies
1048	00:47:45,658	00:47:47,493	is brought to you by Kirby's Donuts	is brought to you by Kirby's Donuts
1049	00:47:47,526	00:47:49,027	and I love them. We all do.	and I love them. We all do.
1050	00:47:49,061	00:47:50,395	Stop by and see them.	Stop by and see them.
1051	00:47:50,429	00:47:52,297	And as a matter of fact, during the next break	And as a matter of fact, during the next break
1052	00:47:52,331	00:47:54,566	I will finally sink my teeth into that éclair	I will finally sink my teeth into that éclair
1053	00:47:54,600	00:47:57,737	that I've been eying for the past 45 minutes.	that I've been eying for the past 45 minutes.
1054	00:47:57,770	00:48:00,172	Big thanks to Kirby's Donuts.	Big thanks to Kirby's Donuts.
1055	00:48:00,205	00:48:03,275	And a big thanks to Chris and Willie from the Improv.	And a big thanks to Chris and Willie from the Improv.
1056	00:48:03,308	00:48:05,277	Go see them this weekend. They're performing with Billy G.	Go see them this weekend. They're performing with Billy G.
1057	00:48:05,310	00:48:09,314	We will be right back.	We will be right back.
1058	00:48:09,348	00:48:11,049	Boom. Alright.	Boom. Alright.
1059	00:48:11,083	00:48:13,452	RANDY: Hey, thanks for coming in, fellas.	RANDY: Hey, thanks for coming in, fellas.
1060	00:48:13,485	00:48:15,822	Alright.	Alright.
1061	00:48:15,855	00:48:17,289	What the fuck?	What the fuck?
1062	00:48:20,693	00:48:22,528	Did you eat my éclair?	Did you eat my éclair?
1063	00:48:24,831	00:48:26,532	Yes.	Yes.
1064	00:48:26,565	00:48:29,134	I'm... I'm... I'm sorry I didn't know it was yours.	I'm... I'm... I'm sorry I didn't know it was yours.
1065	00:48:29,167	00:48:30,402	I can just go get another one.	I can just go get another one.
1066	00:48:30,435	00:48:32,504	Like... Like, do you want me to go get another one for you?	Like... Like, do you want me to go get another one for you?
1067	00:48:32,538	00:48:33,605	Hey, thanks for coming in, Chris.	Hey, thanks for coming in, Chris.
1068	00:48:33,640	00:48:35,407	Always good to see you, buddy.	Always good to see you, buddy.
1069	00:48:35,440	00:48:37,309	Was it at Wrigley's Donuts? I'm so sorry. I really didn't...	Was it at Wrigley's Donuts? I'm so sorry. I really didn't...
1070	00:48:37,342	00:48:40,212	- Hey, other comic. - You're on a roll, my friend.	- Hey, other comic. - You're on a roll, my friend.
1071	00:48:40,245	00:48:41,547	[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]	[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
1072	00:48:47,452	00:48:50,255	- CHRIS: Dude. - RICKY: [LAUGHING] Whoa.	- CHRIS: Dude. - RICKY: [LAUGHING] Whoa.
1073	00:48:50,289	00:48:51,523	You had chocolate on your face	You had chocolate on your face
1074	00:48:51,557	00:48:53,492	the whole time he was yelling at you.	the whole time he was yelling at you.
1075	00:48:53,525	00:48:56,261	They got a picture of it online too, dawg.	They got a picture of it online too, dawg.
1076	00:48:56,295	00:48:57,496	What?	What?
1077	00:48:57,529	00:48:58,765	Oh, come... That is uncalled for.	Oh, come... That is uncalled for.
1078	00:48:58,798	00:49:02,635	- Oh, nice. - Yeah.	- Oh, nice. - Yeah.
1079	00:49:02,669	00:49:04,837	I could look at this all day.	I could look at this all day.
1080	00:49:04,871	00:49:06,138	WILL: Let's get out of here, man.	WILL: Let's get out of here, man.
1081	00:49:06,171	00:49:07,539	- Okay. - Yeah, of course.	- Okay. - Yeah, of course.
1082	00:49:07,573	00:49:09,308	- Dude, we got you. - RANDY: Hey guys.	- Dude, we got you. - RANDY: Hey guys.
1083	00:49:09,341	00:49:11,744	I love Chris Palmer. Great comic, great comic.	I love Chris Palmer. Great comic, great comic.
1084	00:49:11,778	00:49:14,413	Comes in, funny. Just funny.	Comes in, funny. Just funny.
1085	00:49:14,446	00:49:17,850	I mean, I love everyone. I'll give anyone a shot.	I mean, I love everyone. I'll give anyone a shot.
1086	00:49:17,884	00:49:19,418	Some guys just don't get it.	Some guys just don't get it.
1087	00:49:19,451	00:49:21,153	Some guys just don't know the game.	Some guys just don't know the game.
1088	00:49:21,186	00:49:22,521	- BILL: Who? - VAL: Who?	- BILL: Who? - VAL: Who?
1089	00:49:22,554	00:49:24,389	That douche, that open mic douche.	That douche, that open mic douche.
1090	00:49:24,423	00:49:26,625	Walt, Willie, Wally, whatever his name was.	Walt, Willie, Wally, whatever his name was.
1091	00:49:26,659	00:49:28,627	- BILL: Who cares. - He comes in here...	- BILL: Who cares. - He comes in here...
1092	00:49:28,661	00:49:30,195	- VAL: Not funny. - BILL: Unh-unh.	- VAL: Not funny. - BILL: Unh-unh.
1093	00:49:30,228	00:49:31,864	- Can you just turn that down? - Sure, sure.	- Can you just turn that down? - Sure, sure.
1094	00:49:31,898	00:49:33,565	- [VOLUME INCREASES] - RANDY: So he comes in here,	- [VOLUME INCREASES] - RANDY: So he comes in here,
1095	00:49:33,599	00:49:35,534	stinks up the place with a horrible joke.	stinks up the place with a horrible joke.
1096	00:49:35,567	00:49:38,136	BILL: Every time he talked, it was just, "Ugh, who cares?"	BILL: Every time he talked, it was just, "Ugh, who cares?"
1097	00:49:38,170	00:49:39,672	RANDY: You know, he's got no future in comedy.	RANDY: You know, he's got no future in comedy.
1098	00:49:39,706	00:49:42,574	No charisma. Chris has charisma. And then...	No charisma. Chris has charisma. And then...
1099	00:49:42,608	00:49:44,343	Okay, maybe just change the channel.	Okay, maybe just change the channel.
1100	00:49:44,376	00:49:46,211	- Yeah, of course. - Course.	- Yeah, of course. - Course.
1101	00:49:46,244	00:49:48,614	RANDY: He ate the only thing I wanted in that box of donuts.	RANDY: He ate the only thing I wanted in that box of donuts.
1102	00:49:48,648	00:49:50,582	I looked forward to it all week.	I looked forward to it all week.
1103	00:49:50,616	00:49:53,485	And that little bitch ate it. He ate it. His jokes ate it.	And that little bitch ate it. He ate it. His jokes ate it.
1104	00:49:53,518	00:49:56,588	His jokes stunk. Stink, stank, stunk.	His jokes stunk. Stink, stank, stunk.
1105	00:49:56,622	00:49:58,725	- BILL: It smells so bad in here. - VAL: I feel sick.	- BILL: It smells so bad in here. - VAL: I feel sick.
1106	00:49:58,758	00:50:00,660	So if you want to see a great show this weekend	So if you want to see a great show this weekend
1107	00:50:00,693	00:50:03,328	at the Improv, go see Billy G and Chris Palmer.	at the Improv, go see Billy G and Chris Palmer.
1108	00:50:03,362	00:50:04,797	But if the show starts at 8:00,	But if the show starts at 8:00,
1109	00:50:04,831	00:50:07,599	show up at at 8:15 after that "comedian" is done.	show up at at 8:15 after that "comedian" is done.
1110	00:50:07,634	00:50:09,869	- BILL: Ugh. - RANDY: With his awful comedy.	- BILL: Ugh. - RANDY: With his awful comedy.
1111	00:50:09,902	00:50:11,570	Or if you do show up, matter of fact,	Or if you do show up, matter of fact,
1112	00:50:11,603	00:50:13,673	if you do show up, boo him.	if you do show up, boo him.
1113	00:50:13,706	00:50:15,742	You know why? Because Ohio sucks.	You know why? Because Ohio sucks.
1114	00:50:15,775	00:50:19,478	Boo that pig from Ohio that ate my goddamn éclair.	Boo that pig from Ohio that ate my goddamn éclair.
1115	00:50:19,511	00:50:20,813	- BILL: Boo. Boo him. - VAL: Boo.	- BILL: Boo. Boo him. - VAL: Boo.
1116	00:50:20,847	00:50:22,214	Checking traffic...	Checking traffic...
1117	00:50:22,247	00:50:24,383	[LAUGHS]	[LAUGHS]
1118	00:50:24,416	00:50:27,920	Ohhh.	Ohhh.
1119	00:50:27,954	00:50:29,856	Oh, shit.	Oh, shit.
1120	00:50:37,229	00:50:38,965	Chris, thanks for waking up early to do press.	Chris, thanks for waking up early to do press.
1121	00:50:38,998	00:50:42,267	- Sure thing. - Will.	- Sure thing. - Will.
1122	00:50:42,300	00:50:43,736	You're on a short leash.	You're on a short leash.
1123	00:50:43,770	00:50:45,604	Well, I-I didn't know he was going to get...	Well, I-I didn't know he was going to get...
1124	00:50:45,638	00:50:48,641	That was live on the radio. The whole city heard it.	That was live on the radio. The whole city heard it.
1125	00:50:48,675	00:50:50,208	This is my business.	This is my business.
1126	00:50:50,242	00:50:52,344	And you made my business look really bad.	And you made my business look really bad.
1127	00:50:52,377	00:50:54,479	Well, I thought maybe I was just making myself	Well, I thought maybe I was just making myself
1128	00:50:54,513	00:50:57,784	- look really bad and... - And you're working at my club,	- look really bad and... - And you're working at my club,
1129	00:50:57,817	00:51:00,753	hence my club looks bad.	hence my club looks bad.
1130	00:51:00,787	00:51:02,454	That's strike one, Will.	That's strike one, Will.
1131	00:51:09,629	00:51:11,263	That was pretty bad, huh?	That was pretty bad, huh?
1132	00:51:11,296	00:51:13,365	Eh, just have some great sets. He'll get over it.	Eh, just have some great sets. He'll get over it.
1133	00:51:13,398	00:51:14,566	You think so?	You think so?
1134	00:51:14,599	00:51:17,536	Eh, 50/50.	Eh, 50/50.
1135	00:51:17,569	00:51:20,405	Whew. Lunch, Willy boy. My treat, baby.	Whew. Lunch, Willy boy. My treat, baby.
1136	00:51:20,439	00:51:23,341	♪ Oh, yeah, baby ♪	♪ Oh, yeah, baby ♪
1137	00:51:23,375	00:51:24,811	CHRIS: So, look, want to go into the city tomorrow	CHRIS: So, look, want to go into the city tomorrow
1138	00:51:24,844	00:51:26,545	and hit up that Warhol Museum?	and hit up that Warhol Museum?
1139	00:51:26,578	00:51:27,914	WILL: Yeah, sure.	WILL: Yeah, sure.
1140	00:51:27,947	00:51:30,683	My God.	My God.
1141	00:51:30,717	00:51:33,786	So there's coleslaw and fries inside of the sandwich?	So there's coleslaw and fries inside of the sandwich?
1142	00:51:33,820	00:51:35,353	How did you find this place?	How did you find this place?
1143	00:51:35,387	00:51:37,289	Well, when you're on the road 40 weeks a year,	Well, when you're on the road 40 weeks a year,
1144	00:51:37,322	00:51:38,825	you get to know the spots.	you get to know the spots.
1145	00:51:38,858	00:51:42,294	Philly, Geno's cheese steaks. Cinci, Skyline chilli.	Philly, Geno's cheese steaks. Cinci, Skyline chilli.
1146	00:51:42,327	00:51:43,963	D.C., Ben's Chili Bowl.	D.C., Ben's Chili Bowl.
1147	00:51:43,996	00:51:46,632	San Jose, Original Joe's.	San Jose, Original Joe's.
1148	00:51:46,666	00:51:49,902	Plus there's a lot of ass in here.	Plus there's a lot of ass in here.
1149	00:51:49,936	00:51:52,437	- She is so hot. - I think she can hear you.	- She is so hot. - I think she can hear you.
1150	00:51:52,471	00:51:54,306	Oh, I hope so.	Oh, I hope so.
1151	00:51:54,339	00:51:56,008	How about you? How do you write?	How about you? How do you write?
1152	00:51:56,042	00:51:57,810	CHRIS: Well, I think of something that I think is funny,	CHRIS: Well, I think of something that I think is funny,
1153	00:51:57,844	00:51:59,544	and then I go on stage and I talk about it.	and then I go on stage and I talk about it.
1154	00:51:59,578	00:52:00,713	And then I talk until they laugh.	And then I talk until they laugh.
1155	00:52:00,747	00:52:02,982	- That's it. Easy. - That's brave.	- That's it. Easy. - That's brave.
1156	00:52:03,015	00:52:04,984	I-I don't know if I can trust myself that much.	I-I don't know if I can trust myself that much.
1157	00:52:05,017	00:52:06,719	I need to plan everything out.	I need to plan everything out.
1158	00:52:06,753	00:52:08,721	Well, look, I got three weeks left on the road,	Well, look, I got three weeks left on the road,
1159	00:52:08,755	00:52:11,289	and then I am moving to L.A., baby.	and then I am moving to L.A., baby.
1160	00:52:11,323	00:52:12,658	- L.A.? - CHRIS: Mm-hmm.	- L.A.? - CHRIS: Mm-hmm.
1161	00:52:12,692	00:52:13,893	Why not New York City?	Why not New York City?
1162	00:52:13,926	00:52:16,996	So you make 50 bucks a show emceeing.	So you make 50 bucks a show emceeing.
1163	00:52:17,029	00:52:18,597	And then you're going to emcee for a few years	And then you're going to emcee for a few years
1164	00:52:18,631	00:52:20,599	to build your way up to featuring like me.	to build your way up to featuring like me.
1165	00:52:20,633	00:52:22,334	And then you do that for a few years,	And then you do that for a few years,
1166	00:52:22,367	00:52:23,870	making a 100 bucks a show, which is still shit money.	making a 100 bucks a show, which is still shit money.
1167	00:52:23,903	00:52:25,604	And then you're going to want to headline	And then you're going to want to headline
1168	00:52:25,638	00:52:27,039	to make the big bucks, right?	to make the big bucks, right?
1169	00:52:27,073	00:52:29,008	Well, nobody's going to book you to headline	Well, nobody's going to book you to headline
1170	00:52:29,041	00:52:30,643	unless you've got a TV credit.	unless you've got a TV credit.
1171	00:52:30,676	00:52:31,944	And you don't get a TV credit	And you don't get a TV credit
1172	00:52:31,978	00:52:34,412	unless you go to New York or L.A.	unless you go to New York or L.A.
1173	00:52:34,446	00:52:35,982	And L.A. has sunshine.	And L.A. has sunshine.
1174	00:52:36,015	00:52:38,684	Plus L.A.'s the big show, okay? And I'm ready for it.	Plus L.A.'s the big show, okay? And I'm ready for it.
1175	00:52:38,718	00:52:41,721	Get me an agent, be seen, kill it.	Get me an agent, be seen, kill it.
1176	00:52:41,754	00:52:44,489	Then you got fuck you money. It's mailbox money, okay?	Then you got fuck you money. It's mailbox money, okay?
1177	00:52:44,523	00:52:47,927	You get a Lambo, pussy all the time.	You get a Lambo, pussy all the time.
1178	00:52:47,960	00:52:49,929	That's it. What about you? What's your plan?	That's it. What about you? What's your plan?
1179	00:52:49,962	00:52:51,898	I just recently went all in on stand-up.	I just recently went all in on stand-up.
1180	00:52:51,931	00:52:54,100	So that's why this weekend is so important to me.	So that's why this weekend is so important to me.
1181	00:52:54,133	00:52:56,636	I'm hoping Chip will book me again.	I'm hoping Chip will book me again.
1182	00:52:56,669	00:52:58,037	Hey, ever work with Billy G before?	Hey, ever work with Billy G before?
1183	00:52:58,070	00:52:59,839	Once, a long time ago.	Once, a long time ago.
1184	00:52:59,872	00:53:01,473	Look, I liked that dude when I was a kid,	Look, I liked that dude when I was a kid,
1185	00:53:01,506	00:53:04,076	but he hasn't done shit in what, 15 years?	but he hasn't done shit in what, 15 years?
1186	00:53:04,110	00:53:05,577	Well, I think he's incredible.	Well, I think he's incredible.
1187	00:53:05,610	00:53:07,647	Look, Will, I get it. He's done shit.	Look, Will, I get it. He's done shit.
1188	00:53:07,680	00:53:09,882	Great. He's yesterday.	Great. He's yesterday.
1189	00:53:09,916	00:53:11,818	We are tomorrow.	We are tomorrow.
1190	00:53:11,851	00:53:13,853	But he's accomplished what every comic wants.	But he's accomplished what every comic wants.
1191	00:53:13,886	00:53:16,555	He has an hour special that everybody can quote.	He has an hour special that everybody can quote.
1192	00:53:16,588	00:53:18,758	He has a TV show that runs 24 hours a day.	He has a TV show that runs 24 hours a day.
1193	00:53:18,791	00:53:20,358	The guy's a TV star.	The guy's a TV star.
1194	00:53:20,392	00:53:21,994	Was a TV star.	Was a TV star.
1195	00:53:22,028	00:53:23,996	Well, he's still an idol of mine.	Well, he's still an idol of mine.
1196	00:53:26,632	00:53:28,466	Holy cow, what is it?	Holy cow, what is it?
1197	00:53:28,500	00:53:30,402	Planet of the eights in here?	Planet of the eights in here?
1198	00:53:32,171	00:53:33,806	See what I did with the title of the movie?	See what I did with the title of the movie?
1199	00:53:33,840	00:53:35,141	Yeah, that's "Planet of the Apes,"	Yeah, that's "Planet of the Apes,"
1200	00:53:35,174	00:53:36,843	- planet of the eights. - Uh-huh.	- planet of the eights. - Uh-huh.
1201	00:53:36,876	00:53:38,811	- Yeah, that's a good one. - He got it.	- Yeah, that's a good one. - He got it.
1202	00:53:44,750	00:53:46,152	CHIP: William, last night,	CHIP: William, last night,
1203	00:53:46,185	00:53:48,553	I went to my favorite late-night noodle spot.	I went to my favorite late-night noodle spot.
1204	00:53:48,587	00:53:51,489	And I must have butt dialed you five or six times.	And I must have butt dialed you five or six times.
1205	00:53:51,523	00:53:53,159	I-I didn't even notice.	I-I didn't even notice.
1206	00:53:53,192	00:53:58,130	You didn't notice that I called you 6, 8, 12 times?	You didn't notice that I called you 6, 8, 12 times?
1207	00:53:58,164	00:54:01,000	Well, I, like, lost my phone for a while.	Well, I, like, lost my phone for a while.
1208	00:54:01,033	00:54:04,637	My cat, Tchaikovsky, died.	My cat, Tchaikovsky, died.
1209	00:54:08,440	00:54:09,809	Have a great show.	Have a great show.
1210	00:54:09,842	00:54:11,409	Thank you.	Thank you.
1211	00:54:11,443	00:54:13,045	RICKY: Friday night, let me hear you.	RICKY: Friday night, let me hear you.
1212	00:54:13,079	00:54:16,115	Who's ready for a great show tonight?	Who's ready for a great show tonight?
1213	00:54:16,148	00:54:17,817	It's called duck l'orange.	It's called duck l'orange.
1214	00:54:17,850	00:54:19,517	I'll let you make it for me sometime.	I'll let you make it for me sometime.
1215	00:54:19,551	00:54:21,787	I'm fucking around. I'll make it for you.	I'm fucking around. I'll make it for you.
1216	00:54:21,821	00:54:23,656	Yo, there's my guy.	Yo, there's my guy.
1217	00:54:23,689	00:54:24,924	Hey, buddy.	Hey, buddy.
1218	00:54:24,957	00:54:27,459	Two shows tonight. Let's kill it.	Two shows tonight. Let's kill it.
1219	00:54:27,492	00:54:29,695	I think maybe I should wait until the second show.	I think maybe I should wait until the second show.
1220	00:54:29,729	00:54:32,597	It's your first weekend, bud. Let's do this.	It's your first weekend, bud. Let's do this.
1221	00:54:32,632	00:54:35,935	Boom. Mm.	Boom. Mm.
1222	00:54:35,968	00:54:38,871	Alrighty. Love it.	Alrighty. Love it.
1223	00:54:38,905	00:54:41,506	RICKY: Show your love for your emcee for the night.	RICKY: Show your love for your emcee for the night.
1224	00:54:41,539	00:54:44,043	He does clubs and colleges all over the city.	He does clubs and colleges all over the city.
1225	00:54:44,076	00:54:47,213	Put your hands together for Will Chu.	Put your hands together for Will Chu.
1226	00:54:47,246	00:54:50,816	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1227	00:54:50,850	00:54:52,985	Hey.	Hey.
1228	00:54:53,019	00:54:55,755	What's up, Pennsylvania? How you guys doing tonight?	What's up, Pennsylvania? How you guys doing tonight?
1229	00:54:55,788	00:54:57,757	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1230	00:54:57,790	00:55:01,861	Awesome. What a beautiful crowd, right?	Awesome. What a beautiful crowd, right?
1231	00:55:01,894	00:55:06,165	I see a lot of pretty girls here in Pennsylvania.	I see a lot of pretty girls here in Pennsylvania.
1232	00:55:06,198	00:55:08,466	Not really here but, like, in downtown, so...	Not really here but, like, in downtown, so...
1233	00:55:08,500	00:55:11,637	But you guys are okay. You guys are okay.	But you guys are okay. You guys are okay.
1234	00:55:11,671	00:55:14,506	But I think there's one thing we can all agree on, right?	But I think there's one thing we can all agree on, right?
1235	00:55:14,539	00:55:18,044	- MAN: Ohio sucks. - MAN: What?	- MAN: Ohio sucks. - MAN: What?
1236	00:55:18,077	00:55:19,845	Friday funnies.	Friday funnies.
1237	00:55:19,879	00:55:21,781	That was a good one.	That was a good one.
1238	00:55:21,814	00:55:23,683	Alright, let's try this one more time.	Alright, let's try this one more time.
1239	00:55:23,716	00:55:25,251	I think, as I was saying,	I think, as I was saying,
1240	00:55:25,284	00:55:28,020	I think there's one thing we can all agree on, is dating.	I think there's one thing we can all agree on, is dating.
1241	00:55:28,054	00:55:29,922	Dating is just a little different now, right?	Dating is just a little different now, right?
1242	00:55:29,956	00:55:32,725	CHRIS: Everybody made it out of their cubicle.	CHRIS: Everybody made it out of their cubicle.
1243	00:55:32,758	00:55:35,695	Hey, Billy. It was awesome watching your set last night.	Hey, Billy. It was awesome watching your set last night.
1244	00:55:35,728	00:55:38,931	You know that bit about your kids and breastfeeding?	You know that bit about your kids and breastfeeding?
1245	00:55:38,965	00:55:41,267	That's one of my all-time favorite bits.	That's one of my all-time favorite bits.
1246	00:55:41,300	00:55:42,935	Thanks.	Thanks.
1247	00:55:42,969	00:55:45,738	So, hey, um, I was just wondering,	So, hey, um, I was just wondering,
1248	00:55:45,771	00:55:47,673	tomorrow can I maybe take you out for lunch	tomorrow can I maybe take you out for lunch
1249	00:55:47,707	00:55:50,076	and just ask you for some advice?	and just ask you for some advice?
1250	00:55:50,109	00:55:51,811	You know, like, about stand-up?	You know, like, about stand-up?
1251	00:55:57,549	00:56:01,253	"Tonight Show," book for sale after the show,	"Tonight Show," book for sale after the show,
1252	00:56:01,287	00:56:04,090	"I got you this time," "Oh, That Billy."	"I got you this time," "Oh, That Billy."
1253	00:56:07,259	00:56:08,894	Thanks.	Thanks.
1254	00:56:08,928	00:56:11,563	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
1255	00:56:11,596	00:56:12,965	CHRIS: Anybody do some day drinking today?	CHRIS: Anybody do some day drinking today?
1256	00:56:12,999	00:56:14,834	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1257	00:56:14,867	00:56:18,070	The dude passed out in the back, that's my kind of day drinker.	The dude passed out in the back, that's my kind of day drinker.
1258	00:56:18,104	00:56:19,571	- Hell yeah. - Hey, what's up, man?	- Hell yeah. - Hey, what's up, man?
1259	00:56:19,604	00:56:21,539	- Hey, man. - You hanging after the show?	- Hey, man. - You hanging after the show?
1260	00:56:21,573	00:56:22,975	- Sure. - Cool. You smoke?	- Sure. - Cool. You smoke?
1261	00:56:23,009	00:56:24,677	- Not really. - Blow?	- Not really. - Blow?
1262	00:56:24,710	00:56:25,878	Definitely not.	Definitely not.
1263	00:56:25,911	00:56:27,313	Alright. Try and go to a strip club?	Alright. Try and go to a strip club?
1264	00:56:27,346	00:56:30,316	- It's not really my speed. - Oh, you pop pills?	- It's not really my speed. - Oh, you pop pills?
1265	00:56:30,349	00:56:33,285	Ricky, I feel like I'm not a great hang for you.	Ricky, I feel like I'm not a great hang for you.
1266	00:56:33,319	00:56:36,022	- I'll break you. - Sir, are you guys married?	- I'll break you. - Sir, are you guys married?
1267	00:56:36,055	00:56:38,623	Yep, you don't seem too sure, okay.	Yep, you don't seem too sure, okay.
1268	00:56:38,657	00:56:40,026	Hell yeah, Pennsylvania,	Hell yeah, Pennsylvania,
1269	00:56:40,059	00:56:42,728	you guys are dirty as shit, and I love it.	you guys are dirty as shit, and I love it.
1270	00:56:42,762	00:56:44,562	Give it up for yourselves, everybody.	Give it up for yourselves, everybody.
1271	00:56:44,596	00:56:46,932	- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] - Yeah.	- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] - Yeah.
1272	00:56:46,966	00:56:49,335	Deejay, kick that jam one more time.	Deejay, kick that jam one more time.
1273	00:56:49,368	00:56:52,604	Peace you all. Love you.	Peace you all. Love you.
1274	00:56:52,638	00:56:55,573	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1275	00:56:55,607	00:56:57,943	One more time, Chris Palmer, ladies and gentlemen.	One more time, Chris Palmer, ladies and gentlemen.
1276	00:57:01,247	00:57:03,282	I can't go to a Chinese restaurant	I can't go to a Chinese restaurant
1277	00:57:03,315	00:57:05,317	with white people anymore.	with white people anymore.
1278	00:57:05,351	00:57:08,954	No, seriously, every time I go to the Chinese restaurant	No, seriously, every time I go to the Chinese restaurant
1279	00:57:08,988	00:57:11,090	it's... wait, hang on, hang on.	it's... wait, hang on, hang on.
1280	00:57:11,123	00:57:13,092	Is she... She's seriously on her phone right now.	Is she... She's seriously on her phone right now.
1281	00:57:13,125	00:57:15,661	Do you guys see this? Hello?	Do you guys see this? Hello?
1282	00:57:15,694	00:57:18,731	Miss, that's got to be an important phone call.	Miss, that's got to be an important phone call.
1283	00:57:18,764	00:57:20,633	Hang on a minute. Who are you talking to?	Hang on a minute. Who are you talking to?
1284	00:57:20,666	00:57:24,703	Who you... Let me get that. Hang on, hang on. Hang on.	Who you... Let me get that. Hang on, hang on. Hang on.
1285	00:57:24,737	00:57:28,707	Hello, sir. I'm assuming it's a sir.	Hello, sir. I'm assuming it's a sir.
1286	00:57:28,741	00:57:32,011	No, it's not. Oh, hey, ma'am, how are you?	No, it's not. Oh, hey, ma'am, how are you?
1287	00:57:32,044	00:57:33,646	WOMAN: Who is this?	WOMAN: Who is this?
1288	00:57:33,679	00:57:37,283	This is a comedian that you don't know about.	This is a comedian that you don't know about.
1289	00:57:37,316	00:57:38,818	Does your friend have a boyfriend?	Does your friend have a boyfriend?
1290	00:57:38,851	00:57:40,252	Yeah, his name is Tim.	Yeah, his name is Tim.
1291	00:57:40,286	00:57:41,821	- And what's your name, sir? - HANK: Hank.	- And what's your name, sir? - HANK: Hank.
1292	00:57:41,854	00:57:44,824	- Ohhh. Who is Hank? - WOMAN: Who is Hank?	- Ohhh. Who is Hank? - WOMAN: Who is Hank?
1293	00:57:44,857	00:57:46,358	Who is Hank? I don't know.	Who is Hank? I don't know.
1294	00:57:46,392	00:57:48,928	Erica is sitting next to a handsome man named Hank.	Erica is sitting next to a handsome man named Hank.
1295	00:57:48,961	00:57:51,931	Is she married? Like, should somebody know about this?	Is she married? Like, should somebody know about this?
1296	00:57:51,964	00:57:53,899	This getting scandalous, guys.	This getting scandalous, guys.
1297	00:57:53,933	00:57:55,201	Alright, Pennsylvania Improv,	Alright, Pennsylvania Improv,
1298	00:57:55,234	00:57:56,902	are you guys ready for your headliner?	are you guys ready for your headliner?
1299	00:57:56,936	00:57:59,672	- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] - Okay, you've seen him	- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] - Okay, you've seen him
1300	00:57:59,705	00:58:02,341	in his numerous appearances on "The Tonight Show,"	in his numerous appearances on "The Tonight Show,"
1301	00:58:02,374	00:58:05,010	and you read his book, the national best-seller,	and you read his book, the national best-seller,
1302	00:58:05,044	00:58:06,779	"I Got You This Time."	"I Got You This Time."
1303	00:58:06,812	00:58:09,048	And of course you know him for his own television show,	And of course you know him for his own television show,
1304	00:58:09,081	00:58:10,282	"Oh, That Billy."	"Oh, That Billy."
1305	00:58:10,316	00:58:13,185	Let's give it up for Billy G!	Let's give it up for Billy G!
1306	00:58:13,219	00:58:15,254	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1307	00:58:24,263	00:58:25,698	- Alright, enjoy that book now. - CHRIS: Trust me,	- Alright, enjoy that book now. - CHRIS: Trust me,
1308	00:58:25,731	00:58:27,066	- you can't afford me. - Okay.	- you can't afford me. - Okay.
1309	00:58:27,099	00:58:28,400	CHRIS: I would come and strip for your friend,	CHRIS: I would come and strip for your friend,
1310	00:58:28,434	00:58:30,202	but it ain't going to happen. It's too steep.	but it ain't going to happen. It's too steep.
1311	00:58:30,236	00:58:32,138	Hey, Will, come here a second.	Hey, Will, come here a second.
1312	00:58:32,171	00:58:33,873	I'll catch up with you guys.	I'll catch up with you guys.
1313	00:58:33,906	00:58:35,841	- Yes, sir? - Lunch tomorrow.	- Yes, sir? - Lunch tomorrow.
1314	00:58:35,875	00:58:37,943	- Seriously? - Dougherty's at noon.	- Seriously? - Dougherty's at noon.
1315	00:58:37,977	00:58:39,378	Absolutely. I will... I'll be there.	Absolutely. I will... I'll be there.
1316	00:58:39,411	00:58:43,149	- Yeah, yeah, yeah, noon. - It's a date.	- Yeah, yeah, yeah, noon. - It's a date.
1317	00:58:43,182	00:58:45,384	No, it's just food and conversation.	No, it's just food and conversation.
1318	00:58:45,417	00:58:47,887	- It's not a date. - WILL: Sorry, that was stupid.	- It's not a date. - WILL: Sorry, that was stupid.
1319	00:58:47,920	00:58:50,055	It's not a date. But I'll see you there.	It's not a date. But I'll see you there.
1320	00:58:53,325	00:58:55,794	Seriously, he said lunch tomorrow.	Seriously, he said lunch tomorrow.
1321	00:58:55,828	00:58:58,364	[CHEERING]	[CHEERING]
1322	00:58:58,397	00:59:02,234	Cool. Will, every weekend, God willing,	Cool. Will, every weekend, God willing,
1323	00:59:02,268	00:59:04,803	one of your shows will have a bachelorette party.	one of your shows will have a bachelorette party.
1324	00:59:04,837	00:59:07,940	[CHEERING]	[CHEERING]
1325	00:59:07,973	00:59:10,976	- Will, I'm fucking again. - Good for you.	- Will, I'm fucking again. - Good for you.
1326	00:59:11,010	00:59:12,211	Thank you.	Thank you.
1327	00:59:19,852	00:59:23,055	Alright, I can do that to you.	Alright, I can do that to you.
1328	00:59:23,088	00:59:24,356	Alright, see you, bud.	Alright, see you, bud.
1329	00:59:24,390	00:59:27,459	♪ You don't know where I have been ♪	♪ You don't know where I have been ♪
1330	00:59:27,493	00:59:32,731	♪ You don't know where I have been ♪	♪ You don't know where I have been ♪
1331	00:59:32,765	00:59:36,435	- [LOUD THUMP] - [ALL GROAN]	- [LOUD THUMP] - [ALL GROAN]
1332	00:59:36,468	00:59:39,471	Will, where the fuck you been, man?	Will, where the fuck you been, man?
1333	00:59:39,505	00:59:41,307	- Right here. - Anyhoo, I'm about to go to	- Right here. - Anyhoo, I'm about to go to
1334	00:59:41,340	00:59:43,042	Slappy's Mess and the strip club.	Slappy's Mess and the strip club.
1335	00:59:43,075	00:59:45,110	- You trying to roll? - I'm good.	- You trying to roll? - I'm good.
1336	00:59:45,144	00:59:46,845	You want some ecstasy?	You want some ecstasy?
1337	00:59:46,879	00:59:49,481	- Is everything okay back home? - I'mma hug you now.	- Is everything okay back home? - I'mma hug you now.
1338	00:59:49,515	00:59:52,051	Okay.	Okay.
1339	00:59:52,084	00:59:53,485	Thank you.	Thank you.
1340	01:00:08,167	01:00:10,069	Doing the, uh, Siberian tiger thing.	Doing the, uh, Siberian tiger thing.
1341	01:00:10,102	01:00:12,938	You read about this? Mmm.	You read about this? Mmm.
1342	01:00:12,972	01:00:15,941	One meal a day. It's supposed to simulate what they do.	One meal a day. It's supposed to simulate what they do.
1343	01:00:15,975	01:00:18,143	[SMOOCHES] Love you, bud.	[SMOOCHES] Love you, bud.
1344	01:00:26,418	01:00:28,120	[DOOR OPENS]	[DOOR OPENS]
1345	01:00:28,153	01:00:34,793	- [BELL DINGS] - MAN: Pick up.	- [BELL DINGS] - MAN: Pick up.
1346	01:00:34,827	01:00:36,095	Hey, Billy.	Hey, Billy.
1347	01:00:36,128	01:00:39,265	Let me ask you something.	Let me ask you something.
1348	01:00:39,298	01:00:41,233	Why do you want to do this?	Why do you want to do this?
1349	01:00:41,267	01:00:43,936	I grew up watching stand-up.	I grew up watching stand-up.
1350	01:00:43,969	01:00:45,304	My dad loves stand-up.	My dad loves stand-up.
1351	01:00:45,337	01:00:47,106	And that's all we did.	And that's all we did.
1352	01:00:47,139	01:00:49,241	You know some kids, like, they bond with their dads	You know some kids, like, they bond with their dads
1353	01:00:49,275	01:00:51,510	watching baseball, basketball?	watching baseball, basketball?
1354	01:00:51,543	01:00:53,879	We watched stand-up. We watched Eddie Murphy,	We watched stand-up. We watched Eddie Murphy,
1355	01:00:53,912	01:00:55,547	we watched you, we watched Billy G.	we watched you, we watched Billy G.
1356	01:00:55,581	01:00:59,084	Like, when I was 8 years old, that was, like, my shit, man.	Like, when I was 8 years old, that was, like, my shit, man.
1357	01:00:59,118	01:01:01,487	- BILLY: Yeah. - And, I mean,	- BILLY: Yeah. - And, I mean,
1358	01:01:01,520	01:01:04,523	I've always wanted to be a stand-up.	I've always wanted to be a stand-up.
1359	01:01:04,556	01:01:07,259	I just... I just love it.	I just... I just love it.
1360	01:01:07,293	01:01:09,862	How much you work a night?	How much you work a night?
1361	01:01:09,895	01:01:11,997	I do like a 12-minute set.	I do like a 12-minute set.
1362	01:01:12,031	01:01:15,901	12 minutes? That's it?	12 minutes? That's it?
1363	01:01:15,934	01:01:17,303	So how much time do you think	So how much time do you think
1364	01:01:17,336	01:01:20,572	that the people who come see our shows work?	that the people who come see our shows work?
1365	01:01:20,606	01:01:23,242	Every week? What do you think they work a day?	Every week? What do you think they work a day?
1366	01:01:23,275	01:01:25,511	- Eight hours a day? - Eight hours.	- Eight hours a day? - Eight hours.
1367	01:01:25,544	01:01:27,579	- Yeah. - Five days a week.	- Yeah. - Five days a week.
1368	01:01:27,613	01:01:31,383	Alright, so now do you think that you deserve a shot	Alright, so now do you think that you deserve a shot
1369	01:01:31,417	01:01:33,485	before you go and do 12 minutes?	before you go and do 12 minutes?
1370	01:01:33,519	01:01:35,621	When somebody's been working all week?	When somebody's been working all week?
1371	01:01:35,655	01:01:37,589	If you put it that way, no, I guess not.	If you put it that way, no, I guess not.
1372	01:01:37,623	01:01:39,892	No, you do not deserve a shot.	No, you do not deserve a shot.
1373	01:01:39,925	01:01:41,560	You want to be a party guy,	You want to be a party guy,
1374	01:01:41,593	01:01:43,929	turn up, as the kids say...	turn up, as the kids say...
1375	01:01:43,962	01:01:45,030	that's what y'all say, right?	that's what y'all say, right?
1376	01:01:45,064	01:01:46,565	"I'm going to turn up."	"I'm going to turn up."
1377	01:01:46,598	01:01:48,400	And that's fine. You know, some people come down,	And that's fine. You know, some people come down,
1378	01:01:48,434	01:01:50,469	that's all they want to do is have a good time,	that's all they want to do is have a good time,
1379	01:01:50,502	01:01:53,405	hang out in the green room, get laid, you know?	hang out in the green room, get laid, you know?
1380	01:01:53,439	01:01:55,240	And eat some Cheetos.	And eat some Cheetos.
1381	01:01:55,274	01:01:57,109	But you got to respect that audience.	But you got to respect that audience.
1382	01:01:57,142	01:01:59,278	Do your job first.	Do your job first.
1383	01:01:59,311	01:02:01,180	Mmm.	Mmm.
1384	01:02:01,213	01:02:02,281	This alright, right here, man.	This alright, right here, man.
1385	01:02:02,314	01:02:05,084	You ever had some of this?	You ever had some of this?
1386	01:02:05,117	01:02:06,452	Taste that.	Taste that.
1387	01:02:06,485	01:02:08,087	Take a little bite here.	Take a little bite here.
1388	01:02:08,120	01:02:09,455	See, get that up in you.	See, get that up in you.
1389	01:02:09,488	01:02:11,023	- Mmm. - What?	- Mmm. - What?
1390	01:02:11,056	01:02:13,492	- Oh, my God. - Yeah. [CHUCKLES]	- Oh, my God. - Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
1391	01:02:13,525	01:02:15,427	Do you have any advice for, like, a young comic?	Do you have any advice for, like, a young comic?
1392	01:02:15,461	01:02:17,896	Like, what should I be doing?	Like, what should I be doing?
1393	01:02:17,930	01:02:21,233	I'mma tell you two things.	I'mma tell you two things.
1394	01:02:21,266	01:02:23,636	- Write it down. - Okay.	- Write it down. - Okay.
1395	01:02:23,670	01:02:26,505	Be...	Be...
1396	01:02:26,538	01:02:29,141	funny.	funny.
1397	01:02:29,174	01:02:30,643	Funny.	Funny.
1398	01:02:30,677	01:02:33,579	[LAUGHS]	[LAUGHS]
1399	01:02:33,612	01:02:38,685	I'm fucking with you, man.	I'm fucking with you, man.
1400	01:02:38,718	01:02:40,619	- I wrote it down. - I'm fucking with you.	- I wrote it down. - I'm fucking with you.
1401	01:02:40,653	01:02:44,156	Okay, look, no, but for real. Two things.	Okay, look, no, but for real. Two things.
1402	01:02:44,189	01:02:46,959	Write and get on stage.	Write and get on stage.
1403	01:02:46,992	01:02:50,062	- That's it? - That's it.	- That's it? - That's it.
1404	01:02:50,095	01:02:52,531	Yeah, I'm actually working on this bit. So it's about...	Yeah, I'm actually working on this bit. So it's about...
1405	01:02:52,564	01:02:54,099	Look, I don't want to hear about your bits.	Look, I don't want to hear about your bits.
1406	01:02:54,133	01:02:55,501	I don't want to hear about your bits.	I don't want to hear about your bits.
1407	01:02:55,534	01:02:57,637	Good for you. You got a new bit, great.	Good for you. You got a new bit, great.
1408	01:02:57,670	01:02:59,204	Keep working on it. Work it out.	Keep working on it. Work it out.
1409	01:02:59,238	01:03:01,708	But don't... don't tell me about no bits.	But don't... don't tell me about no bits.
1410	01:03:01,741	01:03:03,375	Okay.	Okay.
1411	01:03:03,409	01:03:06,178	So you want to know when do you become a comic?	So you want to know when do you become a comic?
1412	01:03:06,211	01:03:08,313	Most young kids, they believe	Most young kids, they believe
1413	01:03:08,347	01:03:10,315	it's about when they a headliner, right?	it's about when they a headliner, right?
1414	01:03:10,349	01:03:13,051	Even being a headliner don't mean you a comic.	Even being a headliner don't mean you a comic.
1415	01:03:13,085	01:03:15,487	When you find your own point of view,	When you find your own point of view,
1416	01:03:15,521	01:03:18,257	get your own voice, get selfish with that shit.	get your own voice, get selfish with that shit.
1417	01:03:18,290	01:03:20,693	Get... Say stuff that means something to you on the inside	Get... Say stuff that means something to you on the inside
1418	01:03:20,727	01:03:22,194	and make you laugh.	and make you laugh.
1419	01:03:22,227	01:03:24,664	Larry the Cable Guy. Gaffigan.	Larry the Cable Guy. Gaffigan.
1420	01:03:24,697	01:03:26,331	Chris Rock. Katt Williams.	Chris Rock. Katt Williams.
1421	01:03:26,365	01:03:28,967	When I say these names, you can already envision	When I say these names, you can already envision
1422	01:03:29,001	01:03:30,402	- their audience, right? - Mm-hmm.	- their audience, right? - Mm-hmm.
1423	01:03:30,436	01:03:32,337	That's 'cause they talking to their audience.	That's 'cause they talking to their audience.
1424	01:03:32,371	01:03:34,406	They audience find them. That's what you got to do.	They audience find them. That's what you got to do.
1425	01:03:34,440	01:03:36,208	Find your voice.	Find your voice.
1426	01:03:36,241	01:03:40,012	You find your voice, your audience will find you.	You find your voice, your audience will find you.
1427	01:03:40,045	01:03:44,049	And that's when you're a comedian.	And that's when you're a comedian.
1428	01:03:44,082	01:03:45,451	What about you?	What about you?
1429	01:03:45,484	01:03:47,519	The funny thing is when I first started this,	The funny thing is when I first started this,
1430	01:03:47,553	01:03:51,089	I used to think that I had to make them laugh	I used to think that I had to make them laugh
1431	01:03:51,123	01:03:53,091	so that I could feel good.	so that I could feel good.
1432	01:03:53,125	01:03:57,095	But over time, I realized that I make them laugh	But over time, I realized that I make them laugh
1433	01:03:57,129	01:03:59,331	so that they feel good.	so that they feel good.
1434	01:03:59,364	01:04:01,433	It's the best job in the world.	It's the best job in the world.
1435	01:04:03,670	01:04:05,103	Give you one other thing real quick.	Give you one other thing real quick.
1436	01:04:05,137	01:04:06,238	Write this down.	Write this down.
1437	01:04:06,271	01:04:10,242	Billy is leaving.	Billy is leaving.
1438	01:04:10,275	01:04:11,644	Yeah.	Yeah.
1439	01:04:13,378	01:04:16,014	[DOOR OPENS]	[DOOR OPENS]
1440	01:04:21,220	01:04:23,255	Willy boy.	Willy boy.
1441	01:04:23,288	01:04:24,590	What's up, bro?	What's up, bro?
1442	01:04:24,623	01:04:26,225	I'm working out this new joke tonight.	I'm working out this new joke tonight.
1443	01:04:26,258	01:04:27,760	So I just want to run it over a couple...	So I just want to run it over a couple...
1444	01:04:27,794	01:04:31,563	Yeah, don't try out new jokes on a Saturday, bud.	Yeah, don't try out new jokes on a Saturday, bud.
1445	01:04:31,597	01:04:34,199	Do that Sunday or Thursday, not tonight.	Do that Sunday or Thursday, not tonight.
1446	01:04:34,233	01:04:40,305	RICKY: Good evening, and welcome to the world-famous Improv.	RICKY: Good evening, and welcome to the world-famous Improv.
1447	01:04:40,339	01:04:44,243	Saturday night, make some noise.	Saturday night, make some noise.
1448	01:04:44,276	01:04:47,412	I said, Saturday night, make some noise.	I said, Saturday night, make some noise.
1449	01:04:47,446	01:04:48,480	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1450	01:04:48,514	01:04:50,382	Now, please welcome to the stage	Now, please welcome to the stage
1451	01:04:50,415	01:04:52,084	your emcee for the night.	your emcee for the night.
1452	01:04:52,117	01:04:54,186	He does clubs and colleges.	He does clubs and colleges.
1453	01:04:54,219	01:04:57,155	Put your hands together for Will Chu.	Put your hands together for Will Chu.
1454	01:04:57,189	01:05:01,193	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1455	01:05:01,226	01:05:05,063	Hey, what's up?	Hey, what's up?
1456	01:05:05,097	01:05:07,099	What's up, Pennsylvania?	What's up, Pennsylvania?
1457	01:05:07,132	01:05:09,736	How you guys doing?	How you guys doing?
1458	01:05:09,769	01:05:12,337	Alright. Are we having fun tonight?	Alright. Are we having fun tonight?
1459	01:05:12,371	01:05:15,574	Are you guys ready for some comedy?	Are you guys ready for some comedy?
1460	01:05:15,607	01:05:16,776	Alright.	Alright.
1461	01:05:16,809	01:05:18,845	I see a lot of pretty girls here in Pennsylvania, right?	I see a lot of pretty girls here in Pennsylvania, right?
1462	01:05:18,878	01:05:21,413	- Am I right? Yeah. - [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	- Am I right? Yeah. - [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1463	01:05:21,446	01:05:23,415	Not really here but, like, in downtown, you know?	Not really here but, like, in downtown, you know?
1464	01:05:23,448	01:05:26,318	MEN: Ohio sucks. Ohio sucks.	MEN: Ohio sucks. Ohio sucks.
1465	01:05:26,351	01:05:28,520	[SCATTERED CHUCKLES]	[SCATTERED CHUCKLES]
1466	01:05:28,554	01:05:32,090	Alright, oh, geez. Sorry.	Alright, oh, geez. Sorry.
1467	01:05:35,193	01:05:36,663	Hello?	Hello?
1468	01:05:36,696	01:05:39,231	Alright, Pennsylvania, you guys ready to have some fun?	Alright, Pennsylvania, you guys ready to have some fun?
1469	01:05:39,264	01:05:41,533	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1470	01:05:41,567	01:05:44,403	Okay, I want to talk about myself tonight.	Okay, I want to talk about myself tonight.
1471	01:05:44,436	01:05:50,142	And my... my... my father...	And my... my... my father...
1472	01:05:50,175	01:05:52,244	Actually, my... my... my girlfriend...	Actually, my... my... my girlfriend...
1473	01:05:52,277	01:05:53,512	so I have a girlfriend.	so I have a girlfriend.
1474	01:05:53,545	01:05:56,148	She's a teacher. And most people they...	She's a teacher. And most people they...
1475	01:05:56,181	01:05:59,719	they usually say teachers are underpaid, right?	they usually say teachers are underpaid, right?
1476	01:05:59,752	01:06:02,789	But I think they're actually overpaid.	But I think they're actually overpaid.
1477	01:06:02,822	01:06:05,190	[SCATTERED CHUCKLES]	[SCATTERED CHUCKLES]
1478	01:06:05,223	01:06:06,893	That's a joke obviously. I don't... I don't...	That's a joke obviously. I don't... I don't...
1479	01:06:06,926	01:06:14,232	I'm not getting political here or anything.	I'm not getting political here or anything.
1480	01:06:14,266	01:06:16,703	You know, my... my... my girlfriend called me out.	You know, my... my... my girlfriend called me out.
1481	01:06:16,736	01:06:19,137	I've been a little bit of a bummer lately.	I've been a little bit of a bummer lately.
1482	01:06:19,171	01:06:22,341	And so she said if I was a city,	And so she said if I was a city,
1483	01:06:22,374	01:06:23,876	I would be like Seattle.	I would be like Seattle.
1484	01:06:28,580	01:06:30,182	It's...	It's...
1485	01:06:30,215	01:06:35,253	You know, it's... it's, like, rainy and it's dark.	You know, it's... it's, like, rainy and it's dark.
1486	01:06:35,287	01:06:38,825	And it just...	And it just...
1487	01:06:38,858	01:06:42,194	Well, so I was thinking about this.	Well, so I was thinking about this.
1488	01:06:42,227	01:06:46,431	I'm like, "Okay, what if I was to upgrade to a city?	I'm like, "Okay, what if I was to upgrade to a city?
1489	01:06:46,465	01:06:47,934	What city would I upgrade to, right?	What city would I upgrade to, right?
1490	01:06:47,967	01:06:49,736	If it's not for Seattle,	If it's not for Seattle,
1491	01:06:49,769	01:06:54,606	then maybe I can upgrade to Flint, Michigan."	then maybe I can upgrade to Flint, Michigan."
1492	01:06:54,641	01:06:56,643	- That's... - What the fuck is he doing?	- That's... - What the fuck is he doing?
1493	01:06:56,676	01:06:57,910	- He's dying. - WILL: Or, you know, what if	- He's dying. - WILL: Or, you know, what if
1494	01:06:57,944	01:07:00,479	I really upgrade, like I-I-I hit it big,	I really upgrade, like I-I-I hit it big,
1495	01:07:00,512	01:07:02,280	and... and then I make it to,	and... and then I make it to,
1496	01:07:02,314	01:07:04,616	I don't know, like, uh... like Cleveland, right?	I don't know, like, uh... like Cleveland, right?
1497	01:07:04,651	01:07:06,218	Ohio.	Ohio.
1498	01:07:06,251	01:07:07,854	MAN: I wish you would go back to Cleveland.	MAN: I wish you would go back to Cleveland.
1499	01:07:07,887	01:07:09,421	Even Flint.	Even Flint.
1500	01:07:11,623	01:07:15,627	Okay. Actually, this weekend,	Okay. Actually, this weekend,
1501	01:07:15,662	01:07:18,530	I-I was going to go to Columbus with my girlfriend.	I-I was going to go to Columbus with my girlfriend.
1502	01:07:18,563	01:07:21,500	You should go meet her right now. Please.	You should go meet her right now. Please.
1503	01:07:21,533	01:07:23,936	Just... Just head there now.	Just... Just head there now.
1504	01:07:23,970	01:07:26,238	Well, let's...	Well, let's...
1505	01:07:26,271	01:07:27,606	Light him. Light him.	Light him. Light him.
1506	01:07:27,640	01:07:30,208	Where... Where is it? Here? I'm doing it.	Where... Where is it? Here? I'm doing it.
1507	01:07:30,242	01:07:32,812	Are you guys ready for your next comedian?	Are you guys ready for your next comedian?
1508	01:07:32,845	01:07:33,913	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1509	01:07:33,946	01:07:36,883	Okay.	Okay.
1510	01:07:36,916	01:07:38,751	CHIP: What the fuck happened?	CHIP: What the fuck happened?
1511	01:07:38,785	01:07:41,788	- I am so sorry. - On a Saturday night?	- I am so sorry. - On a Saturday night?
1512	01:07:41,821	01:07:43,656	I was just trying to get personal with my mat...	I was just trying to get personal with my mat...
1513	01:07:43,690	01:07:45,758	Don't get per... What... It's not "Dr. Phil."	Don't get per... What... It's not "Dr. Phil."
1514	01:07:45,792	01:07:47,259	That's your second strike.	That's your second strike.
1515	01:07:47,292	01:07:48,761	You know what happens on the third.	You know what happens on the third.
1516	01:07:48,795	01:07:50,863	- It won't happen again. - Yeah, it certainly won't.	- It won't happen again. - Yeah, it certainly won't.
1517	01:07:50,897	01:07:52,632	Because I'm cutting your time on the next show.	Because I'm cutting your time on the next show.
1518	01:07:52,665	01:07:54,634	You're getting five minutes, that's it,	You're getting five minutes, that's it,
1519	01:07:54,667	01:07:56,401	and bring up the guest spot.	and bring up the guest spot.
1520	01:07:56,435	01:07:58,905	Got it.	Got it.
1521	01:07:58,938	01:08:01,741	[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]	[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
1522	01:08:01,774	01:08:03,876	Fuck.	Fuck.
1523	01:08:03,910	01:08:06,679	- Yo, thanks, man. Thanks. - Alright, how you doing, man?	- Yo, thanks, man. Thanks. - Alright, how you doing, man?
1524	01:08:06,713	01:08:09,281	- Big fan. - Thank you guys for coming out.	- Big fan. - Thank you guys for coming out.
1525	01:08:09,314	01:08:11,483	- Sorry. - Whoa.	- Sorry. - Whoa.
1526	01:08:11,516	01:08:14,319	Thanks for the flashback, my man.	Thanks for the flashback, my man.
1527	01:08:14,352	01:08:16,956	Well, you told me to write more about myself	Well, you told me to write more about myself
1528	01:08:16,989	01:08:18,523	so I just thought, you know...	so I just thought, you know...
1529	01:08:18,557	01:08:21,560	Yeah. I also said be funny.	Yeah. I also said be funny.
1530	01:08:21,593	01:08:24,697	- Jesus. - You're the emcee, you know?	- Jesus. - You're the emcee, you know?
1531	01:08:24,731	01:08:26,598	Supposed to warm the place up, you know?	Supposed to warm the place up, you know?
1532	01:08:26,632	01:08:27,867	Yeah, but I never dealt with hecklers.	Yeah, but I never dealt with hecklers.
1533	01:08:27,900	01:08:29,568	Do a little crowd work or something.	Do a little crowd work or something.
1534	01:08:29,601	01:08:31,336	I don't know if I'm that good with crowd work yet.	I don't know if I'm that good with crowd work yet.
1535	01:08:31,369	01:08:32,604	What about the other night?	What about the other night?
1536	01:08:32,638	01:08:34,506	The lady with the phone. That was funny.	The lady with the phone. That was funny.
1537	01:08:34,539	01:08:36,709	Well, that actually happened, so I was just kind of reacting.	Well, that actually happened, so I was just kind of reacting.
1538	01:08:36,743	01:08:39,879	Exactly. Crowd work. Reacting.	Exactly. Crowd work. Reacting.
1539	01:08:39,912	01:08:43,415	Hey, Will, come here.	Hey, Will, come here.
1540	01:08:43,448	01:08:44,717	Sorry.	Sorry.
1541	01:08:44,751	01:08:46,786	Hey, guys, how are you?	Hey, guys, how are you?
1542	01:08:46,819	01:08:48,520	Brooke Bailey... she's going to run her	Brooke Bailey... she's going to run her
1543	01:08:48,553	01:08:49,989	"Tonight Show" set for next week.	"Tonight Show" set for next week.
1544	01:08:50,022	01:08:52,725	Don't fuck up her intro too, okay?	Don't fuck up her intro too, okay?
1545	01:08:52,759	01:08:55,661	- Okay. - Okay.	- Okay. - Okay.
1546	01:08:55,695	01:08:57,462	Wow, "Tonight Show," congrats. I'm Will.	Wow, "Tonight Show," congrats. I'm Will.
1547	01:08:57,496	01:08:59,031	- Hi. Brooke. - Nice to meet you.	- Hi. Brooke. - Nice to meet you.
1548	01:08:59,065	01:09:00,733	You too.	You too.
1549	01:09:00,767	01:09:03,301	So is there anything you want me to say for your intro?	So is there anything you want me to say for your intro?
1550	01:09:03,335	01:09:05,838	You can just say the Comedy Cavalcade Tour	You can just say the Comedy Cavalcade Tour
1551	01:09:05,872	01:09:07,073	and then I'm doing "The Tonight Show"	and then I'm doing "The Tonight Show"
1552	01:09:07,106	01:09:08,941	- on Thursday. - Okay, cool.	- on Thursday. - Okay, cool.
1553	01:09:08,975	01:09:11,711	Finally sold two fucking T-shirts.	Finally sold two fucking T-shirts.
1554	01:09:11,744	01:09:14,747	Making it rain, baby. Holy shit.	Making it rain, baby. Holy shit.
1555	01:09:14,781	01:09:16,783	- Brooke, what's going on? - Hi. How's it going?	- Brooke, what's going on? - Hi. How's it going?
1556	01:09:16,816	01:09:18,785	- So, you doing time? - BROOKE: I am doing time.	- So, you doing time? - BROOKE: I am doing time.
1557	01:09:18,818	01:09:20,485	She's doing "The Tonight Show" on Thursday.	She's doing "The Tonight Show" on Thursday.
1558	01:09:20,519	01:09:22,420	What? Then we got to celebrate.	What? Then we got to celebrate.
1559	01:09:22,454	01:09:23,823	- BILLY: Oh, wow. - Ohh!	- BILLY: Oh, wow. - Ohh!
1560	01:09:23,856	01:09:25,490	The lovely Miss Bailey.	The lovely Miss Bailey.
1561	01:09:25,524	01:09:26,692	- How are you? - Good to see you.	- How are you? - Good to see you.
1562	01:09:26,726	01:09:27,960	Oh, goodness.	Oh, goodness.
1563	01:09:27,994	01:09:29,361	Heard you got "The Tonight Show."	Heard you got "The Tonight Show."
1564	01:09:29,394	01:09:31,030	- Yeah. - I called Jimmy, alright?	- Yeah. - I called Jimmy, alright?
1565	01:09:31,063	01:09:32,832	- I told him to take care of you. - You're the best.	- I told him to take care of you. - You're the best.
1566	01:09:32,865	01:09:34,901	- Thank you. - Well, I mean, you deserve it.	- Thank you. - Well, I mean, you deserve it.
1567	01:09:34,934	01:09:36,903	You're talented. You work hard. Come on.	You're talented. You work hard. Come on.
1568	01:09:36,936	01:09:38,905	Like I told you, I said first thing first...	Like I told you, I said first thing first...
1569	01:09:38,938	01:09:40,438	No, what you would always say to me	No, what you would always say to me
1570	01:09:40,472	01:09:42,541	is don't write down jokes in your phone.	is don't write down jokes in your phone.
1571	01:09:42,574	01:09:44,644	Always write it on a piece of paper with a pen	Always write it on a piece of paper with a pen
1572	01:09:44,677	01:09:46,078	because it makes it more personal.	because it makes it more personal.
1573	01:09:46,112	01:09:47,747	BILLY: Doing your thing, super talented.	BILLY: Doing your thing, super talented.
1574	01:09:47,780	01:09:48,915	You deserve this.	You deserve this.
1575	01:09:48,948	01:09:52,517	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1576	01:09:52,551	01:09:55,688	Put your hands together for Will Chu.	Put your hands together for Will Chu.
1577	01:09:55,721	01:09:57,023	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1578	01:09:57,056	01:09:59,025	What's up?	What's up?
1579	01:09:59,058	01:10:02,394	Packed house tonight on a Saturday.	Packed house tonight on a Saturday.
1580	01:10:02,427	01:10:04,797	A lot of pretty girls in Pennsylvania, am I right?	A lot of pretty girls in Pennsylvania, am I right?
1581	01:10:04,831	01:10:06,464	- Look at them. - [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	- Look at them. - [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1582	01:10:06,498	01:10:09,836	MEN: Ohio sucks. Ohio sucks.	MEN: Ohio sucks. Ohio sucks.
1583	01:10:09,869	01:10:12,370	Ohio sucks.	Ohio sucks.
1584	01:10:13,605	01:10:17,076	Okay.	Okay.
1585	01:10:17,109	01:10:20,813	How are you guys doing?	How are you guys doing?
1586	01:10:20,847	01:10:22,748	Mother and daughter?	Mother and daughter?
1587	01:10:22,782	01:10:24,449	BOTH: Yeah.	BOTH: Yeah.
1588	01:10:24,482	01:10:27,552	- Where's... Where's Dad? - Oh, he's not with us.	- Where's... Where's Dad? - Oh, he's not with us.
1589	01:10:27,586	01:10:30,990	Okay. Is he, like, fishing? Or bowling?	Okay. Is he, like, fishing? Or bowling?
1590	01:10:31,023	01:10:32,457	He's dead.	He's dead.
1591	01:10:32,490	01:10:33,893	MAN: Ohio sucks.	MAN: Ohio sucks.
1592	01:10:37,596	01:10:40,498	Nice, uh, pretzels, right?	Nice, uh, pretzels, right?
1593	01:10:40,532	01:10:43,568	- He is not funny. - Not at all.	- He is not funny. - Not at all.
1594	01:10:43,602	01:10:46,438	Father and daughter.	Father and daughter.
1595	01:10:46,471	01:10:50,442	Father and son, right? That's cool.	Father and son, right? That's cool.
1596	01:10:50,475	01:10:53,612	Do you like to eat chicken wings?	Do you like to eat chicken wings?
1597	01:10:53,646	01:10:55,513	Why... W-What's up with...	Why... W-What's up with...
1598	01:10:58,718	01:11:01,486	You know if you split improv into two words,	You know if you split improv into two words,
1599	01:11:01,519	01:11:03,990	it's kind of like I'm pro,	it's kind of like I'm pro,
1600	01:11:04,023	01:11:06,659	with a V at the end.	with a V at the end.
1601	01:11:11,063	01:11:12,698	Are you guys ready for your next comedian?	Are you guys ready for your next comedian?
1602	01:11:12,732	01:11:17,136	- Yeah. - Yes.	- Yeah. - Yes.
1603	01:11:17,169	01:11:20,106	Thanks. Hi, everybody.	Thanks. Hi, everybody.
1604	01:11:20,139	01:11:22,440	- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] - Hello. Hi.	- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] - Hello. Hi.
1605	01:11:22,474	01:11:24,176	Wow, thank you, thank you.	Wow, thank you, thank you.
1606	01:11:24,210	01:11:27,079	Give it up for, Will.	Give it up for, Will.
1607	01:11:27,113	01:11:28,981	It's good to be here.	It's good to be here.
1608	01:11:29,015	01:11:32,617	I did not Uber here. I do not Uber.	I did not Uber here. I do not Uber.
1609	01:11:32,652	01:11:34,486	All my guy friends want me to take an Uber	All my guy friends want me to take an Uber
1610	01:11:34,519	01:11:36,588	whenever I'm scared to walk to my car,	whenever I'm scared to walk to my car,
1611	01:11:36,621	01:11:37,823	take an Uber, it's super safe.	take an Uber, it's super safe.
1612	01:11:37,857	01:11:39,959	For who? Why... Why is it safe?	For who? Why... Why is it safe?
1613	01:11:39,992	01:11:41,559	All my guy friends are like, "What do you mean?	All my guy friends are like, "What do you mean?
1614	01:11:41,593	01:11:42,695	There's a rating system."	There's a rating system."
1615	01:11:42,728	01:11:44,897	Oh, really? Is that what was wrong with hitchhiking?	Oh, really? Is that what was wrong with hitchhiking?
1616	01:11:44,931	01:11:47,900	There was no rating system?	There was no rating system?
1617	01:11:47,934	01:11:50,136	I feel like all my mother ever said to me	I feel like all my mother ever said to me
1618	01:11:50,169	01:11:51,871	was "do not talk to strangers."	was "do not talk to strangers."
1619	01:11:51,904	01:11:54,674	Now every night I get in the car with one,	Now every night I get in the car with one,
1620	01:11:54,707	01:11:56,976	I show him where I live,	I show him where I live,
1621	01:11:57,009	01:11:58,978	and then I eat his candy.	and then I eat his candy.
1622	01:11:59,011	01:12:03,916	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
1623	01:12:03,950	01:12:06,953	- Yeah, of course, of course. - Thank you so much.	- Yeah, of course, of course. - Thank you so much.
1624	01:12:06,986	01:12:08,654	- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] - Oh, yes.	- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] - Oh, yes.
1625	01:12:08,688	01:12:10,122	- Thanks. - WOMAN: Bye.	- Thanks. - WOMAN: Bye.
1626	01:12:10,156	01:12:11,757	CHRIS: I don't know, actually,	CHRIS: I don't know, actually,
1627	01:12:11,791	01:12:14,727	if there are different belts in kickboxing.	if there are different belts in kickboxing.
1628	01:12:14,760	01:12:16,528	I just do the YouTube videos.	I just do the YouTube videos.
1629	01:12:16,561	01:12:19,464	Yo, let's definitely hit up that Warhol tomorrow, okay?	Yo, let's definitely hit up that Warhol tomorrow, okay?
1630	01:12:26,005	01:12:28,540	Uh, look, Chip, I'm... I'm sorry about...	Uh, look, Chip, I'm... I'm sorry about...
1631	01:12:28,573	01:12:30,109	Not now, Will. I think we can both agree	Not now, Will. I think we can both agree
1632	01:12:30,142	01:12:32,678	that stand-up's not in the cards for you.	that stand-up's not in the cards for you.
1633	01:12:32,712	01:12:34,680	Can't think of any reason for you to come out tomorrow night,	Can't think of any reason for you to come out tomorrow night,
1634	01:12:34,714	01:12:36,983	but thanks for coming in.	but thanks for coming in.
1635	01:12:41,921	01:12:42,955	COP: Hey.	COP: Hey.
1636	01:12:42,989	01:12:44,123	What?	What?
1637	01:12:44,156	01:12:46,092	COP: You the comedian?	COP: You the comedian?
1638	01:12:46,125	01:12:47,827	Apparently not.	Apparently not.
1639	01:12:47,860	01:12:52,098	Are you the comedian Will Chu who was on the radio?	Are you the comedian Will Chu who was on the radio?
1640	01:12:52,131	01:12:54,566	Look, man, I know Ohio sucks, alright?	Look, man, I know Ohio sucks, alright?
1641	01:12:54,599	01:12:58,971	Will Chu who told a story on the radio	Will Chu who told a story on the radio
1642	01:12:59,005	01:13:03,042	where you ended up in a trailer with a girl who had a boyfriend?	where you ended up in a trailer with a girl who had a boyfriend?
1643	01:13:03,075	01:13:06,078	And you were in my fucking home, drinking my beers?	And you were in my fucking home, drinking my beers?
1644	01:13:06,112	01:13:09,081	When I found two open beers, I couldn't understand	When I found two open beers, I couldn't understand
1645	01:13:09,115	01:13:11,851	why does my girl have two open beers?	why does my girl have two open beers?
1646	01:13:11,884	01:13:14,220	I don't get it. Are you that Will Chu	I don't get it. Are you that Will Chu
1647	01:13:14,253	01:13:17,990	who lives at 223 Clark Street in Steubenville?	who lives at 223 Clark Street in Steubenville?
1648	01:13:18,024	01:13:19,759	It is too late to say no?	It is too late to say no?
1649	01:13:19,792	01:13:21,127	Ow!	Ow!
1650	01:13:21,160	01:13:22,995	I never laid my hands on her.	I never laid my hands on her.
1651	01:13:23,029	01:13:25,297	COP: No shit.	COP: No shit.
1652	01:13:25,331	01:13:26,999	And by the way, no one will fucking believe you	And by the way, no one will fucking believe you
1653	01:13:27,033	01:13:29,702	if you tell them what I did. I've done it a bunch.	if you tell them what I did. I've done it a bunch.
1654	01:13:34,240	01:13:37,777	[WILL SIGHS]	[WILL SIGHS]
1655	01:13:37,810	01:13:39,245	JEN: What's up? You've reached Jen.	JEN: What's up? You've reached Jen.
1656	01:13:39,278	01:13:40,780	Well, not actually. I'm not here.	Well, not actually. I'm not here.
1657	01:13:40,813	01:13:41,814	You know what to do.	You know what to do.
1658	01:13:41,847	01:13:43,315	[BEEP]	[BEEP]
1659	01:13:43,349	01:13:44,650	WILL: Hey, babe.	WILL: Hey, babe.
1660	01:13:44,683	01:13:46,719	I just got back.	I just got back.
1661	01:13:46,752	01:13:49,822	Thought I'd give you a call.	Thought I'd give you a call.
1662	01:13:49,855	01:13:51,690	Things are going pretty okay here.	Things are going pretty okay here.
1663	01:13:54,660	01:13:59,265	Y-You know what, maybe... maybe it's not so good.	Y-You know what, maybe... maybe it's not so good.
1664	01:13:59,298	01:14:02,968	Actually, it's a pretty fucking horrible night.	Actually, it's a pretty fucking horrible night.
1665	01:14:05,738	01:14:09,642	Maybe stand-up is just not really in the cards, you know?	Maybe stand-up is just not really in the cards, you know?
1666	01:14:09,675	01:14:12,945	Maybe I just don't have it.	Maybe I just don't have it.
1667	01:14:14,980	01:14:16,248	Bye.	Bye.
1668	01:14:18,818	01:14:20,252	[SIGHS]	[SIGHS]
1669	01:14:31,230	01:14:33,699	[SIGHS]	[SIGHS]
1670	01:14:50,850	01:14:54,619	- [BEE] - BILLY: Hey, Will. Lunch.	- [BEE] - BILLY: Hey, Will. Lunch.
1671	01:14:58,824	01:15:01,927	[DOOR OPENS]	[DOOR OPENS]
1672	01:15:06,866	01:15:11,036	BILLY: Hey.	BILLY: Hey.
1673	01:15:11,070	01:15:12,738	Oh.	Oh.
1674	01:15:12,771	01:15:14,807	Whoa.	Whoa.
1675	01:15:14,840	01:15:17,409	Whoa, man, what happened to your eye?	Whoa, man, what happened to your eye?
1676	01:15:17,443	01:15:19,712	Well, a cop punched me in the face	Well, a cop punched me in the face
1677	01:15:19,745	01:15:21,247	because I was hanging out with his girl.	because I was hanging out with his girl.
1678	01:15:21,280	01:15:24,083	[LAUGHS] That's fucking awesome.	[LAUGHS] That's fucking awesome.
1679	01:15:24,116	01:15:26,051	That's fucking awesome.	That's fucking awesome.
1680	01:15:26,085	01:15:29,855	[LAUGHS]	[LAUGHS]
1681	01:15:29,889	01:15:32,858	Yeah, well, just getting something to eat,	Yeah, well, just getting something to eat,
1682	01:15:32,892	01:15:34,894	then I'm hitting the road.	then I'm hitting the road.
1683	01:15:34,927	01:15:38,297	Whoa, wait... wait a minute. What about tonight?	Whoa, wait... wait a minute. What about tonight?
1684	01:15:41,200	01:15:42,434	There's no tonight.	There's no tonight.
1685	01:15:42,468	01:15:44,737	I'm heading back to Ohio.	I'm heading back to Ohio.
1686	01:15:44,770	01:15:47,306	Didn't you quit your job to do this?	Didn't you quit your job to do this?
1687	01:15:47,339	01:15:50,843	Yeah, but you saw what I did last night.	Yeah, but you saw what I did last night.
1688	01:15:50,876	01:15:53,779	Yeah, you bombed. Bombed hard, too.	Yeah, you bombed. Bombed hard, too.
1689	01:15:53,812	01:15:56,749	Shit, your ass should be on a TSA watch list.	Shit, your ass should be on a TSA watch list.
1690	01:15:56,782	01:16:00,286	Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Will Chu.	Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Will Chu.
1691	01:16:00,319	01:16:02,421	WILL: Chip said I'm done.	WILL: Chip said I'm done.
1692	01:16:02,454	01:16:04,290	Chip said?	Chip said?
1693	01:16:04,323	01:16:06,859	Chip said you're done? What about you?	Chip said you're done? What about you?
1694	01:16:06,892	01:16:08,294	You... You say it's over?	You... You say it's over?
1695	01:16:08,327	01:16:11,163	Man, you know what?	Man, you know what?
1696	01:16:11,197	01:16:13,232	Go on. Go on. Get the fuck out of here, man.	Go on. Go on. Get the fuck out of here, man.
1697	01:16:13,265	01:16:15,067	If that's all it takes, go ahead on.	If that's all it takes, go ahead on.
1698	01:16:15,100	01:16:18,904	Bye. Bye. Who gives a damn?	Bye. Bye. Who gives a damn?
1699	01:16:18,938	01:16:21,373	You saw me. It went terrible.	You saw me. It went terrible.
1700	01:16:21,407	01:16:22,975	You actually should be proud of yourself.	You actually should be proud of yourself.
1701	01:16:23,008	01:16:24,410	Y-You going quick.	Y-You going quick.
1702	01:16:24,443	01:16:26,345	You... You... You actually quit your job, man.	You... You... You actually quit your job, man.
1703	01:16:26,378	01:16:28,047	Quit your job, drove your ass down here.	Quit your job, drove your ass down here.
1704	01:16:28,080	01:16:30,916	Been getting on the stage. You're actually doing it.	Been getting on the stage. You're actually doing it.
1705	01:16:30,950	01:16:32,751	One, two bad shows, and now that's it.	One, two bad shows, and now that's it.
1706	01:16:32,785	01:16:34,019	That's all it take?	That's all it take?
1707	01:16:34,053	01:16:36,055	Ain't the last no you going to get.	Ain't the last no you going to get.
1708	01:16:36,088	01:16:37,489	You're going to hear a whole avalanche	You're going to hear a whole avalanche
1709	01:16:37,523	01:16:39,391	of no's you stay in this business.	of no's you stay in this business.
1710	01:16:39,425	01:16:41,827	There's going to be shows that you want going to be a no.	There's going to be shows that you want going to be a no.
1711	01:16:41,860	01:16:43,229	You're going to get shows that you're hired on,	You're going to get shows that you're hired on,
1712	01:16:43,262	01:16:45,197	they're going to fire you.	they're going to fire you.
1713	01:16:45,231	01:16:47,466	You're going to have things that your friends book	You're going to have things that your friends book
1714	01:16:47,499	01:16:49,134	that you thought you should book	that you thought you should book
1715	01:16:49,168	01:16:50,903	because you believe you funnier than they are.	because you believe you funnier than they are.
1716	01:16:50,936	01:16:52,171	You're going to write a new joke,	You're going to write a new joke,
1717	01:16:52,204	01:16:54,273	you're going to be out on that stage, you're going to try it,	you're going to be out on that stage, you're going to try it,
1718	01:16:54,306	01:16:55,541	and that audience is going to be like,	and that audience is going to be like,
1719	01:16:55,574	01:16:57,977	"No, I want to hear all the old shit."	"No, I want to hear all the old shit."
1720	01:16:58,010	01:17:03,282	But guess what is more powerful than all of those no's.	But guess what is more powerful than all of those no's.
1721	01:17:03,315	01:17:05,117	Your belief in yourself.	Your belief in yourself.
1722	01:17:07,119	01:17:09,388	You know, what happened to you last night, sure,	You know, what happened to you last night, sure,
1723	01:17:09,421	01:17:11,257	it's the worst thing that can happen to a comic.	it's the worst thing that can happen to a comic.
1724	01:17:11,290	01:17:15,227	You bombed. And in a spectacular fashion.	You bombed. And in a spectacular fashion.
1725	01:17:15,261	01:17:19,231	I mean, boom.	I mean, boom.
1726	01:17:19,265	01:17:20,432	You in pain?	You in pain?
1727	01:17:20,466	01:17:24,370	No, not really. Just a shiner.	No, not really. Just a shiner.
1728	01:17:24,403	01:17:27,873	No, no, no, you in pain.	No, no, no, you in pain.
1729	01:17:27,906	01:17:29,975	You in pain, I'm in pain.	You in pain, I'm in pain.
1730	01:17:30,009	01:17:32,978	That's... That's what the life of a comic is, man.	That's... That's what the life of a comic is, man.
1731	01:17:33,012	01:17:35,481	We take our pain. We got to find that stuff.	We take our pain. We got to find that stuff.
1732	01:17:35,514	01:17:37,216	That's what we take on stage.	That's what we take on stage.
1733	01:17:37,249	01:17:40,119	When we find that pain, got to learn to embrace it.	When we find that pain, got to learn to embrace it.
1734	01:17:40,152	01:17:42,488	Take what's personal and you give it to that audience,	Take what's personal and you give it to that audience,
1735	01:17:42,521	01:17:44,490	and it makes them laugh.	and it makes them laugh.
1736	01:17:44,523	01:17:49,194	But the thing about stand-up, son, you listening?	But the thing about stand-up, son, you listening?
1737	01:17:49,228	01:17:53,198	Is that you have a chance to be better today	Is that you have a chance to be better today
1738	01:17:53,232	01:17:54,933	than you was yesterday.	than you was yesterday.
1739	01:18:04,877	01:18:06,345	It's another show tonight.	It's another show tonight.
1740	01:18:16,322	01:18:19,325	If he was the one that's, like, doing the...	If he was the one that's, like, doing the...
1741	01:18:19,358	01:18:25,431	If he's like, "Ohio sucks," first... first and...	If he's like, "Ohio sucks," first... first and...
1742	01:18:25,464	01:18:29,068	If you think about it, like, Neil... Neil Armstrong...	If you think about it, like, Neil... Neil Armstrong...
1743	01:18:37,910	01:18:40,145	- [BEEP] - JEN: Hey. I got your message.	- [BEEP] - JEN: Hey. I got your message.
1744	01:18:40,179	01:18:42,147	So you had a bad weekend.	So you had a bad weekend.
1745	01:18:42,181	01:18:45,484	You don't give up on something you love that much so quickly.	You don't give up on something you love that much so quickly.
1746	01:18:45,517	01:18:47,886	Give me a call. We can talk about it.	Give me a call. We can talk about it.
1747	01:18:47,920	01:18:51,523	I'm here for you, Will. I believe in you. I love you.	I'm here for you, Will. I believe in you. I love you.
1748	01:19:03,535	01:19:06,071	Hey, Will, glad to see you.	Hey, Will, glad to see you.
1749	01:19:06,105	01:19:08,474	- You are? - Yeah, you just reminded me	- You are? - Yeah, you just reminded me
1750	01:19:08,507	01:19:10,476	I'm supposed to take your name down from the marquee.	I'm supposed to take your name down from the marquee.
1751	01:19:10,509	01:19:13,245	Okay, about that, is Chip here?	Okay, about that, is Chip here?
1752	01:19:13,278	01:19:14,947	MAN: Yeah, he's in the office.	MAN: Yeah, he's in the office.
1753	01:19:14,980	01:19:16,683	- Can I talk to him? - Yeah.	- Can I talk to him? - Yeah.
1754	01:19:16,716	01:19:20,152	T Dog for Captain Crunch.	T Dog for Captain Crunch.
1755	01:19:20,185	01:19:22,287	Yeah, little kamikaze's here to see you.	Yeah, little kamikaze's here to see you.
1756	01:19:22,321	01:19:25,391	Yeah.	Yeah.
1757	01:19:25,424	01:19:27,192	Hey, Chip.	Hey, Chip.
1758	01:19:27,226	01:19:29,061	I was going to text you. We need to settle up.	I was going to text you. We need to settle up.
1759	01:19:29,094	01:19:30,362	Before you say anything,	Before you say anything,
1760	01:19:30,396	01:19:35,134	I'm here begging you for one last set.	I'm here begging you for one last set.
1761	01:19:35,167	01:19:36,969	What happened to your face?	What happened to your face?
1762	01:19:37,002	01:19:40,038	I had a really, really rough night.	I had a really, really rough night.
1763	01:19:40,072	01:19:41,974	I don't give a shit, Will.	I don't give a shit, Will.
1764	01:19:42,007	01:19:44,476	This is all I got, man. Stand-up is all I got.	This is all I got, man. Stand-up is all I got.
1765	01:19:44,510	01:19:47,546	Then you don't got much because you're not good at stand-up.	Then you don't got much because you're not good at stand-up.
1766	01:19:47,579	01:19:49,649	I started off okay, right?	I started off okay, right?
1767	01:19:49,682	01:19:52,618	Let me just finish the weekend the same way I started.	Let me just finish the weekend the same way I started.
1768	01:19:52,652	01:19:54,253	And if I'm really no good,	And if I'm really no good,
1769	01:19:54,286	01:19:57,289	then you'll never hear from me again.	then you'll never hear from me again.
1770	01:19:57,322	01:19:59,458	Please. I promise.	Please. I promise.
1771	01:20:04,329	01:20:06,265	One last spot.	One last spot.
1772	01:20:06,298	01:20:09,334	Yes, thank you. Thank you, Chip.	Yes, thank you. Thank you, Chip.
1773	01:20:12,337	01:20:14,072	Okay.	Okay.
1774	01:20:16,643	01:20:20,612	RICKY: Welcome to the world-famous Improv.	RICKY: Welcome to the world-famous Improv.
1775	01:20:20,647	01:20:23,248	Sunday night, make some noise.	Sunday night, make some noise.
1776	01:20:23,282	01:20:27,052	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1777	01:20:27,085	01:20:29,121	CHRIS: Dude, what the fuck?	CHRIS: Dude, what the fuck?
1778	01:20:29,154	01:20:32,424	This fucking cock wad I sold a T-shirt to last night	This fucking cock wad I sold a T-shirt to last night
1779	01:20:32,458	01:20:34,560	just came up to me in the lobby wanting to return it.	just came up to me in the lobby wanting to return it.
1780	01:20:34,593	01:20:37,062	Who the fuck returns a T-shirt?	Who the fuck returns a T-shirt?
1781	01:20:37,095	01:20:38,363	I'm sorry to hear that.	I'm sorry to hear that.
1782	01:20:38,397	01:20:40,065	Anyway, buddy, I'm telling you,	Anyway, buddy, I'm telling you,
1783	01:20:40,098	01:20:42,401	that fucking shiner looks so dope.	that fucking shiner looks so dope.
1784	01:20:42,434	01:20:44,704	You are going to be like a chick magnet tonight.	You are going to be like a chick magnet tonight.
1785	01:20:44,737	01:20:47,372	Anyway, bro, grand finale tonight.	Anyway, bro, grand finale tonight.
1786	01:20:47,406	01:20:49,308	I'm pumped to hear what's in that book, buddy.	I'm pumped to hear what's in that book, buddy.
1787	01:20:49,341	01:20:51,176	You're going to kill it.	You're going to kill it.
1788	01:20:51,210	01:20:54,346	- WILL: Thanks. - You got it, bro.	- WILL: Thanks. - You got it, bro.
1789	01:20:54,379	01:20:56,482	My "pleazh."	My "pleazh."
1790	01:20:56,515	01:20:58,417	Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be starting the show	Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be starting the show
1791	01:20:58,450	01:21:00,118	in just a few moments.	in just a few moments.
1792	01:21:00,152	01:21:03,222	There's no video or flash photography during the show.	There's no video or flash photography during the show.
1793	01:21:08,695	01:21:11,129	Now, before we get started, I got to let you know	Now, before we get started, I got to let you know
1794	01:21:11,163	01:21:12,632	to keep your talking to a minimum	to keep your talking to a minimum
1795	01:21:12,665	01:21:15,033	but your laughter to a maximum.	but your laughter to a maximum.
1796	01:21:15,067	01:21:16,736	Who's ready for a good show tonight?	Who's ready for a good show tonight?
1797	01:21:16,769	01:21:18,570	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1798	01:21:18,604	01:21:20,072	I can't hear you.	I can't hear you.
1799	01:21:20,105	01:21:22,541	Who's ready for a good show tonight?	Who's ready for a good show tonight?
1800	01:21:22,574	01:21:25,244	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1801	01:21:25,277	01:21:29,615	Put your hands together for Will Chu.	Put your hands together for Will Chu.
1802	01:21:29,649	01:21:31,751	♪ Tell me ♪	♪ Tell me ♪
1803	01:21:31,784	01:21:34,386	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1804	01:21:34,419	01:21:36,789	What's up, Pennsylvania?	What's up, Pennsylvania?
1805	01:21:36,823	01:21:39,191	- How you guys doing? - [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	- How you guys doing? - [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1806	01:21:39,224	01:21:40,626	Awesome.	Awesome.
1807	01:21:40,660	01:21:44,363	So, as you guys can tell, I got this black eye.	So, as you guys can tell, I got this black eye.
1808	01:21:44,396	01:21:46,532	The reason is when I went outside the other day...	The reason is when I went outside the other day...
1809	01:21:46,565	01:21:51,270	MEN: Ohio sucks. Ohio sucks. Ohio sucks.	MEN: Ohio sucks. Ohio sucks. Ohio sucks.
1810	01:21:53,572	01:21:57,376	Okay.	Okay.
1811	01:21:57,409	01:21:59,578	Ohio sucks, right?	Ohio sucks, right?
1812	01:21:59,611	01:22:01,113	Ohio sucks.	Ohio sucks.
1813	01:22:01,146	01:22:02,414	Ohio sucks.	Ohio sucks.
1814	01:22:02,447	01:22:03,850	Everybody, why don't everybody do it?	Everybody, why don't everybody do it?
1815	01:22:03,883	01:22:08,387	ALL: Ohio sucks, Ohio sucks, Ohio sucks.	ALL: Ohio sucks, Ohio sucks, Ohio sucks.
1816	01:22:08,420	01:22:11,791	Yeah, you know what? M-Maybe these guys are right.	Yeah, you know what? M-Maybe these guys are right.
1817	01:22:11,824	01:22:14,092	Ohio does kind of suck, right?	Ohio does kind of suck, right?
1818	01:22:14,126	01:22:16,461	Is there anybody from Ohio?	Is there anybody from Ohio?
1819	01:22:16,495	01:22:18,096	Good, yeah, there's a reason why.	Good, yeah, there's a reason why.
1820	01:22:18,130	01:22:19,699	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
1821	01:22:19,732	01:22:22,702	Right, look, look, actually, actually, if you think about it,	Right, look, look, actually, actually, if you think about it,
1822	01:22:22,735	01:22:25,270	Ohio is where legends are born.	Ohio is where legends are born.
1823	01:22:25,304	01:22:26,371	Legends, right?	Legends, right?
1824	01:22:26,405	01:22:27,372	If you think about it,	If you think about it,
1825	01:22:27,406	01:22:29,408	we got the Wright Brothers,	we got the Wright Brothers,
1826	01:22:29,441	01:22:31,811	first in flight... from Ohio.	first in flight... from Ohio.
1827	01:22:31,844	01:22:34,546	John Glenn, first man in space,	John Glenn, first man in space,
1828	01:22:34,580	01:22:37,249	from Ohio, right?	from Ohio, right?
1829	01:22:37,282	01:22:42,421	Neil Armstrong, first man on the moon... from Ohio.	Neil Armstrong, first man on the moon... from Ohio.
1830	01:22:42,454	01:22:45,490	So if history has taught us anything,	So if history has taught us anything,
1831	01:22:45,524	01:22:49,428	it's taught us that men will do anything	it's taught us that men will do anything
1832	01:22:49,461	01:22:52,164	to get the fuck up out of Ohio.	to get the fuck up out of Ohio.
1833	01:22:52,197	01:22:55,367	- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] - Right? Right?	- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] - Right? Right?
1834	01:22:57,402	01:22:59,872	So maybe it does suck, I don't know.	So maybe it does suck, I don't know.
1835	01:22:59,906	01:23:02,541	I don't know. Right?	I don't know. Right?
1836	01:23:05,243	01:23:07,714	So my dad passed away a few years ago.	So my dad passed away a few years ago.
1837	01:23:07,747	01:23:09,281	Not to bum anybody out.	Not to bum anybody out.
1838	01:23:09,314	01:23:11,383	People die all the time, even Asians.	People die all the time, even Asians.
1839	01:23:11,416	01:23:13,720	- It's okay. - [LAUGHTER]	- It's okay. - [LAUGHTER]
1840	01:23:13,753	01:23:15,187	You know, we don't age but we die.	You know, we don't age but we die.
1841	01:23:15,220	01:23:16,923	It's okay, it's fine.	It's okay, it's fine.
1842	01:23:16,956	01:23:19,859	So stand-up was like me and my father's thing.	So stand-up was like me and my father's thing.
1843	01:23:19,892	01:23:21,694	We actually grew up watching Billy G,	We actually grew up watching Billy G,
1844	01:23:21,728	01:23:24,664	your headliner tonight, give it up for Billy G, right?	your headliner tonight, give it up for Billy G, right?
1845	01:23:24,697	01:23:26,198	And I always wondered, like,	And I always wondered, like,
1846	01:23:26,231	01:23:27,900	is he, like, watching me from upstairs?	is he, like, watching me from upstairs?
1847	01:23:27,934	01:23:29,702	That's what people say all the time, right?	That's what people say all the time, right?
1848	01:23:29,736	01:23:31,738	Is he watching me work?	Is he watching me work?
1849	01:23:31,771	01:23:35,374	Is he watching me when I'm just drinking coffee in the morning?	Is he watching me when I'm just drinking coffee in the morning?
1850	01:23:35,407	01:23:38,410	Is he watching me when I'm masturbating?	Is he watching me when I'm masturbating?
1851	01:23:38,443	01:23:41,279	You know? 'Cause he's probably got a lot of footage of that.	You know? 'Cause he's probably got a lot of footage of that.
1852	01:23:41,313	01:23:42,815	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
1853	01:23:42,849	01:23:44,717	Hey, what if he's here tonight watching me from upstairs	Hey, what if he's here tonight watching me from upstairs
1854	01:23:44,751	01:23:46,218	and he's looking at me and he's like,	and he's looking at me and he's like,
1855	01:23:46,251	01:23:49,354	"Man, that is my son doing stand-up.	"Man, that is my son doing stand-up.
1856	01:23:49,388	01:23:52,557	My only son doing stand-up comedy.	My only son doing stand-up comedy.
1857	01:23:52,591	01:23:54,559	And I must say,	And I must say,
1858	01:23:54,593	01:23:56,361	I'd rather watch him masturbate."	I'd rather watch him masturbate."
1859	01:23:56,395	01:23:59,699	[LAUGHTER]	[LAUGHTER]
1860	01:23:59,732	01:24:03,268	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1861	01:24:03,301	01:24:04,569	Ohio sucks.	Ohio sucks.
1862	01:24:04,603	01:24:06,471	ALL: Ohio sucks.	ALL: Ohio sucks.
1863	01:24:06,505	01:24:08,240	Ohio sucks.	Ohio sucks.
1864	01:24:08,273	01:24:11,309	[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, AND APPLAUSE]	[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, AND APPLAUSE]
1865	01:24:44,944	01:24:46,813	WILL: Hey.	WILL: Hey.
1866	01:24:48,981	01:24:52,752	I just want to thank you for letting me do my last set.	I just want to thank you for letting me do my last set.
1867	01:24:52,785	01:24:54,987	Here is your check.	Here is your check.
1868	01:24:55,021	01:24:58,024	[SIGHS]	[SIGHS]
1869	01:24:58,057	01:25:02,294	This weekend means more to me than any amount of money.	This weekend means more to me than any amount of money.
1870	01:25:02,327	01:25:03,628	CHIP: So...	CHIP: So...
1871	01:25:03,663	01:25:05,898	this is me telling you...	this is me telling you...
1872	01:25:09,869	01:25:14,306	I need an emcee in two weeks in Kansas City.	I need an emcee in two weeks in Kansas City.
1873	01:25:14,339	01:25:16,876	- You free? - Absolutely.	- You free? - Absolutely.
1874	01:25:16,909	01:25:18,778	I'm in.	I'm in.
1875	01:25:18,811	01:25:22,849	And I think we confirmed that you've got my cellphone number.	And I think we confirmed that you've got my cellphone number.
1876	01:25:22,882	01:25:26,318	Let's just do e-mail. It's a little more professional.	Let's just do e-mail. It's a little more professional.
1877	01:25:26,351	01:25:29,989	Okay, but you know you can call me anytime you want.	Okay, but you know you can call me anytime you want.
1878	01:25:30,022	01:25:31,590	Thanks, sir.	Thanks, sir.
1879	01:25:31,623	01:25:34,593	Thanks, Chip.	Thanks, Chip.
1880	01:25:34,626	01:25:35,995	So it begins.	So it begins.
1881	01:25:36,028	01:25:38,798	Whew. So it begins.	Whew. So it begins.
1882	01:25:45,037	01:25:48,007	Deejay: You know your opening act from the Pennsylvania Improv	Deejay: You know your opening act from the Pennsylvania Improv
1883	01:25:48,040	01:25:50,375	and other clubs and colleges.	and other clubs and colleges.
1884	01:25:50,408	01:25:54,379	Give it up for Will Chu.	Give it up for Will Chu.
1885	01:25:54,412	01:25:57,349	Kansas City, how you guys doing?	Kansas City, how you guys doing?
1886	01:25:57,382	01:25:59,752	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]	[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1887	01:26:04,456	01:26:06,324	You know, I used to be a full-time physician.	You know, I used to be a full-time physician.
1888	01:26:06,358	01:26:08,627	And I was doing stand-up comedy on the side.	And I was doing stand-up comedy on the side.
1889	01:26:08,661	01:26:12,932	And, uh, I was always scared to make that next step.	And, uh, I was always scared to make that next step.
1890	01:26:12,965	01:26:15,067	I was a waiter. It was the greatest job ever.	I was a waiter. It was the greatest job ever.
1891	01:26:15,101	01:26:17,402	I officially never quit.	I officially never quit.
1892	01:26:17,435	01:26:19,038	I just took a leave of absence.	I just took a leave of absence.
1893	01:26:19,071	01:26:23,009	I still have my name tag to this day... true story.	I still have my name tag to this day... true story.
1894	01:26:23,042	01:26:24,744	If this shit don't work out,	If this shit don't work out,
1895	01:26:24,777	01:26:27,847	I'm going back to Golden Corral in Tallahassee.	I'm going back to Golden Corral in Tallahassee.
1896	01:26:27,880	01:26:31,050	My first night doing stand-up, I actually did really well.	My first night doing stand-up, I actually did really well.
1897	01:26:31,083	01:26:32,685	Like, by accident.	Like, by accident.
1898	01:26:32,718	01:26:35,353	And then I bombed for like two years after that	And then I bombed for like two years after that
1899	01:26:35,387	01:26:38,825	before I was, you know, able to get laughs again.	before I was, you know, able to get laughs again.
1900	01:26:38,858	01:26:42,394	I was terrible. Horrible. Just horrendous.	I was terrible. Horrible. Just horrendous.
1901	01:26:42,427	01:26:43,763	You got five minutes,	You got five minutes,
1902	01:26:43,796	01:26:46,933	and I think I did four at the most maybe.	and I think I did four at the most maybe.
1903	01:26:46,966	01:26:48,835	And the second time, I did three.	And the second time, I did three.
1904	01:26:48,868	01:26:52,071	You would have thought I would have gotten longer,	You would have thought I would have gotten longer,
1905	01:26:52,104	01:26:53,505	but I actually got shorter.	but I actually got shorter.
1906	01:26:53,538	01:26:55,942	I did some editing.	I did some editing.
1907	01:26:55,975	01:26:57,542	So yeah, I guess it was kind of hard.	So yeah, I guess it was kind of hard.
1908	01:26:57,576	01:27:01,413	But it was fun because I loved it.	But it was fun because I loved it.
1909	01:27:01,446	01:27:05,483	And I guess if I looked at it logically,	And I guess if I looked at it logically,
1910	01:27:05,517	01:27:07,153	I probably wouldn't have done it.	I probably wouldn't have done it.
1911	01:27:07,186	01:27:08,721	[LAUGHS]	[LAUGHS]
1912	01:27:08,754	01:27:11,791	[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]	[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
1913	01:27:11,876	01:27:16,876	Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org	Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org
1914	01:27:25,171	01:27:28,440	♪ Gonna fight, fight, fight ♪	♪ Gonna fight, fight, fight ♪
1915	01:27:28,473	01:27:31,010	♪ It's gonna be alright ♪	♪ It's gonna be alright ♪
1916	01:27:31,043	01:27:33,813	♪ What things I'm gonna work out ♪	♪ What things I'm gonna work out ♪
1917	01:27:36,816	01:27:39,618	♪ Gonna overcome ♪	♪ Gonna overcome ♪
1918	01:27:39,652	01:27:42,188	♪ God's will be done ♪	♪ God's will be done ♪
1919	01:27:42,221	01:27:47,960	♪ Things are gonna work out, yeah ♪	♪ Things are gonna work out, yeah ♪
1920	01:27:47,994	01:27:50,897	♪ Brand-new day ♪	♪ Brand-new day ♪
1921	01:27:50,930	01:27:53,933	♪ You know that I love you ♪	♪ You know that I love you ♪
1922	01:27:53,966	01:27:57,469	♪ Brand-new day ♪	♪ Brand-new day ♪
1923	01:27:57,502	01:27:59,571	♪ You know I'm thinkin' of you ♪	♪ You know I'm thinkin' of you ♪
1924	01:27:59,604	01:28:02,574	♪ Brand-new day ♪	♪ Brand-new day ♪
1925	01:28:02,607	01:28:05,610	♪ You know that I love you ♪	♪ You know that I love you ♪
1926	01:28:05,645	01:28:06,979	♪ It's okay ♪	♪ It's okay ♪
1927	01:28:07,013	01:28:10,750	♪ And I'm always thinkin' of you, yeah ♪	♪ And I'm always thinkin' of you, yeah ♪
1928	01:28:10,783	01:28:14,153	♪ Brand-new day ♪	♪ Brand-new day ♪
1929	01:28:14,186	01:28:16,588	♪ We got to find a way ♪	♪ We got to find a way ♪
1930	01:28:16,621	01:28:20,760	♪ Find a way ♪	♪ Find a way ♪
1931	01:28:20,793	01:28:22,494	♪ Said it's a brand-new day ♪	♪ Said it's a brand-new day ♪
1932	01:28:22,527	01:28:25,965	♪ Brand-new day ♪	♪ Brand-new day ♪
1933	01:28:25,998	01:28:27,867	♪ It's okay, yeah ♪	♪ It's okay, yeah ♪
1934	01:28:27,900	01:28:29,501	♪ It's okay ♪	♪ It's okay ♪
1935	01:28:29,534	01:28:34,006	♪ It's okay ♪	♪ It's okay ♪
1936	01:30:10,770	01:30:11,837	[SONG ENDS]	[SONG ENDS]