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# | Start | End | Original | Translated |
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1 | 00:00:06,540 | 00:00:07,790 | Excuse me, I.D., please. | Excuse me, I.D., please. |
2 | 00:00:07,790 | 00:00:08,500 | I.D.? | I.D.? |
3 | 00:00:08,500 | 00:00:11,000 | That's cute. | That's cute. |
4 | 00:00:11,000 | 00:00:12,670 | I'm Jack Gordon. | I'm Jack Gordon. |
5 | 00:00:12,670 | 00:00:15,330 | There's my I.D. right there. | There's my I.D. right there. |
6 | 00:00:15,330 | 00:00:16,960 | Where? | Where? |
7 | 00:00:16,960 | 00:00:19,330 | There's one guy in the photo! | There's one guy in the photo! |
8 | 00:00:19,330 | 00:00:21,670 | Oh, you wish you were that guy! | Oh, you wish you were that guy! |
9 | 00:00:23,040 | 00:00:25,000 | I didn't know they allowed pets in the office now. | I didn't know they allowed pets in the office now. |
10 | 00:00:25,000 | 00:00:26,620 | Or is that one of those special dogs | Or is that one of those special dogs |
11 | 00:00:26,620 | 00:00:28,330 | that weird people can take anywhere? | that weird people can take anywhere? |
12 | 00:00:28,330 | 00:00:31,330 | You're not allowed to ask if it's an... | You're not allowed to ask if it's an... |
13 | 00:00:31,330 | 00:00:33,460 | emotional support animal. | emotional support animal. |
14 | 00:00:34,750 | 00:00:36,500 | I think I have my answer. | I think I have my answer. |
15 | 00:00:36,500 | 00:00:38,790 | Jack Gordon? | Jack Gordon? |
16 | 00:00:38,790 | 00:00:41,000 | It is so incredible to meet you. | It is so incredible to meet you. |
17 | 00:00:41,000 | 00:00:42,960 | I'm Clark, online content curator. | I'm Clark, online content curator. |
18 | 00:00:42,960 | 00:00:45,920 | Hi, Clark, obviously made-up job title. | Hi, Clark, obviously made-up job title. |
19 | 00:00:45,920 | 00:00:47,830 | You're the reason I got into outdoor journalism. | You're the reason I got into outdoor journalism. |
20 | 00:00:47,830 | 00:00:48,790 | I heard you were coming in today, | I heard you were coming in today, |
21 | 00:00:48,790 | 00:00:50,040 | so I reread your book! | so I reread your book! |
22 | 00:00:50,040 | 00:00:52,170 | That's a penis. | That's a penis. |
23 | 00:00:52,170 | 00:00:54,000 | Mason! Sorry. | Mason! Sorry. |
24 | 00:00:54,000 | 00:00:56,250 | Hey, do you mind stopping by the digital department? | Hey, do you mind stopping by the digital department? |
25 | 00:00:56,250 | 00:00:57,670 | I'm actually supposed to meet Roland, so... | I'm actually supposed to meet Roland, so... |
26 | 00:00:57,670 | 00:00:58,830 | Oh nice, it's on the way. | Oh nice, it's on the way. |
27 | 00:00:58,830 | 00:01:00,830 | By the way, I got the same Moab boots | By the way, I got the same Moab boots |
28 | 00:01:00,830 | 00:01:02,500 | you called "life savers" | you called "life savers" |
29 | 00:01:02,500 | 00:01:04,670 | when you were stranded in Denali National Park. | when you were stranded in Denali National Park. |
30 | 00:01:04,670 | 00:01:07,620 | Oh, you do a lot of mountain climbing in midtown Chicago? | Oh, you do a lot of mountain climbing in midtown Chicago? |
31 | 00:01:07,620 | 00:01:08,830 | None-- my feet are crazy sweaty! | None-- my feet are crazy sweaty! |
32 | 00:01:08,830 | 00:01:09,830 | Come on! | Come on! |
33 | 00:01:12,330 | 00:01:15,290 | Guys, this is the Jack Gordon! | Guys, this is the Jack Gordon! |
34 | 00:01:15,290 | 00:01:17,500 | Jack, this is our social influencer, Emma. | Jack, this is our social influencer, Emma. |
35 | 00:01:17,500 | 00:01:20,500 | Oh, my God, you're a legend, I can't believe you're here. | Oh, my God, you're a legend, I can't believe you're here. |
36 | 00:01:21,830 | 00:01:23,670 | That's actually pretty excited for her. | That's actually pretty excited for her. |
37 | 00:01:23,670 | 00:01:25,500 | And this is our digital conversation specialist, | And this is our digital conversation specialist, |
38 | 00:01:25,500 | 00:01:26,960 | Mason. | Mason. |
39 | 00:01:26,960 | 00:01:28,000 | Oh, Mason. | Oh, Mason. |
40 | 00:01:28,000 | 00:01:29,330 | It's nice to put a face to the penis. | It's nice to put a face to the penis. |
41 | 00:01:29,330 | 00:01:31,000 | Not always. | Not always. |
42 | 00:01:35,000 | 00:01:36,000 | Uh...? | Uh...? |
43 | 00:01:36,000 | 00:01:37,670 | Oh, let me help you with this pack here. | Oh, let me help you with this pack here. |
44 | 00:01:37,670 | 00:01:38,670 | Oh! | Oh! |
45 | 00:01:38,670 | 00:01:41,170 | The new EV-2! | The new EV-2! |
46 | 00:01:41,170 | 00:01:43,790 | I didn't know this bad boy was out. | I didn't know this bad boy was out. |
47 | 00:01:45,330 | 00:01:48,500 | There's a sick kid in there wearing a diaper. | There's a sick kid in there wearing a diaper. |
48 | 00:01:48,500 | 00:01:49,540 | That's Zeb. | That's Zeb. |
49 | 00:01:49,540 | 00:01:51,040 | He can't leave the tent for 30 days. | He can't leave the tent for 30 days. |
50 | 00:01:51,040 | 00:01:52,420 | We got a 24/7 video feed. | We got a 24/7 video feed. |
51 | 00:01:52,420 | 00:01:54,250 | Meals, bathroom, everything | Meals, bathroom, everything |
52 | 00:01:54,250 | 00:01:55,420 | in that tent. | in that tent. |
53 | 00:01:55,420 | 00:01:57,000 | Also, Zeb's demo-ing this new underwear | Also, Zeb's demo-ing this new underwear |
54 | 00:01:57,000 | 00:01:58,250 | that's so rad, they claim | that's so rad, they claim |
55 | 00:01:58,250 | 00:01:59,540 | you don't have to change them for two weeks. | you don't have to change them for two weeks. |
56 | 00:01:59,540 | 00:02:03,460 | Yeah, those aren't working out. | Yeah, those aren't working out. |
57 | 00:02:03,460 | 00:02:06,420 | And good news, we just had our most retweeted online poll: | And good news, we just had our most retweeted online poll: |
58 | 00:02:06,420 | 00:02:09,040 | "Best Outdoor Gear for the Zombie Apocalypse." | "Best Outdoor Gear for the Zombie Apocalypse." |
59 | 00:02:09,040 | 00:02:10,420 | Yeah, nailed it! | Yeah, nailed it! |
60 | 00:02:10,420 | 00:02:12,290 | Can you guess the number one zombie-killing tool? | Can you guess the number one zombie-killing tool? |
61 | 00:02:12,290 | 00:02:14,830 | Uh, remembering zombies don't exist? | Uh, remembering zombies don't exist? |
62 | 00:02:14,830 | 00:02:16,500 | No, it was tent spikes, | No, it was tent spikes, |
63 | 00:02:16,500 | 00:02:19,540 | but we didn't give you enough time. | but we didn't give you enough time. |
64 | 00:02:19,540 | 00:02:22,290 | Oh, yes, tent spikes, you're so right, | Oh, yes, tent spikes, you're so right, |
65 | 00:02:22,290 | 00:02:23,920 | and so diverse. | and so diverse. |
66 | 00:02:26,040 | 00:02:30,330 | So, good luck with your curating and pooping and genital photos. | So, good luck with your curating and pooping and genital photos. |
67 | 00:02:31,670 | 00:02:33,620 | I'm gonna go see the guy who runs the real magazine. | I'm gonna go see the guy who runs the real magazine. |
68 | 00:02:33,620 | 00:02:35,790 | I'll think of you on my flight to Patagonia. | I'll think of you on my flight to Patagonia. |
69 | 00:02:37,460 | 00:02:38,830 | Not as smart as he thinks. | Not as smart as he thinks. |
70 | 00:02:38,830 | 00:02:41,330 | Patagonia's, like, three blocks away. | Patagonia's, like, three blocks away. |
71 | 00:02:43,120 | 00:02:45,000 | Roland! | Roland! |
72 | 00:02:45,000 | 00:02:45,830 | Jack! | Jack! |
73 | 00:02:45,830 | 00:02:47,000 | Jack! | Jack! |
74 | 00:02:47,000 | 00:02:49,500 | Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack! | Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack! |
75 | 00:02:52,460 | 00:02:55,830 | "The bird a nest, the spider a web, | "The bird a nest, the spider a web, |
76 | 00:02:55,830 | 00:02:58,830 | man... friendship." | man... friendship." |
77 | 00:02:58,830 | 00:03:03,670 | "It takes two to make a thing go right." | "It takes two to make a thing go right." |
78 | 00:03:03,670 | 00:03:07,000 | Oh, I've missed you, Jack. | Oh, I've missed you, Jack. |
79 | 00:03:07,000 | 00:03:08,960 | Sorry to have pulled you out of the wild. | Sorry to have pulled you out of the wild. |
80 | 00:03:08,960 | 00:03:10,460 | I know you don't like that. | I know you don't like that. |
81 | 00:03:10,460 | 00:03:13,330 | What can I get you to restore your aging spirit? | What can I get you to restore your aging spirit? |
82 | 00:03:13,330 | 00:03:15,120 | Oh, I'll have what you're having. | Oh, I'll have what you're having. |
83 | 00:03:15,120 | 00:03:17,670 | Then you'll be having your third scotch of the morning. | Then you'll be having your third scotch of the morning. |
84 | 00:03:18,830 | 00:03:20,170 | I never saw this. | I never saw this. |
85 | 00:03:20,170 | 00:03:21,500 | Your sherpa thanked you? | Your sherpa thanked you? |
86 | 00:03:21,500 | 00:03:22,920 | Oh, Pasang, yes, yes. | Oh, Pasang, yes, yes. |
87 | 00:03:22,920 | 00:03:24,830 | I carried him down K2. | I carried him down K2. |
88 | 00:03:24,830 | 00:03:28,290 | I get more credit for that than I deserve, to be honest. | I get more credit for that than I deserve, to be honest. |
89 | 00:03:28,290 | 00:03:29,790 | It was either him or my backpack, | It was either him or my backpack, |
90 | 00:03:29,790 | 00:03:33,120 | and he weighed considerably less than my pack. | and he weighed considerably less than my pack. |
91 | 00:03:33,120 | 00:03:35,830 | They are a tiny, tiny people. | They are a tiny, tiny people. |
92 | 00:03:40,920 | 00:03:43,920 | Roland, you okay? | Roland, you okay? |
93 | 00:03:43,920 | 00:03:45,250 | Well, to be honest, Jack, | Well, to be honest, Jack, |
94 | 00:03:45,250 | 00:03:47,330 | not everything is rosy at the ranch. | not everything is rosy at the ranch. |
95 | 00:03:47,330 | 00:03:50,330 | This month is our last print issue. | This month is our last print issue. |
96 | 00:03:50,330 | 00:03:51,830 | The magazine is done? | The magazine is done? |
97 | 00:03:51,830 | 00:03:54,290 | No, like Newsweek and many others, | No, like Newsweek and many others, |
98 | 00:03:54,290 | 00:03:56,250 | it will continue as a website. | it will continue as a website. |
99 | 00:03:56,250 | 00:03:58,500 | So the magazine is done. | So the magazine is done. |
100 | 00:03:58,500 | 00:04:00,170 | Not without a fight. | Not without a fight. |
101 | 00:04:00,170 | 00:04:04,170 | To that end, I've considerably beefed up our online resources. | To that end, I've considerably beefed up our online resources. |
102 | 00:04:04,170 | 00:04:05,920 | "Resources" is a strong word | "Resources" is a strong word |
103 | 00:04:05,920 | 00:04:08,500 | for the digital daycare division I just met. | for the digital daycare division I just met. |
104 | 00:04:08,500 | 00:04:10,670 | Walk with me. | Walk with me. |
105 | 00:04:10,670 | 00:04:13,170 | My boy, you know how much you mean to this magazine. | My boy, you know how much you mean to this magazine. |
106 | 00:04:13,170 | 00:04:15,830 | This walk is suddenly feeling very Green Mile to me. | This walk is suddenly feeling very Green Mile to me. |
107 | 00:04:15,830 | 00:04:17,420 | How can I best put it? | How can I best put it? |
108 | 00:04:17,420 | 00:04:21,830 | There's a German folktale called "Der Wolf Auf Seinem Totenbett," | There's a German folktale called "Der Wolf Auf Seinem Totenbett," |
109 | 00:04:21,830 | 00:04:24,830 | and I would tell it to you now, | and I would tell it to you now, |
110 | 00:04:24,830 | 00:04:26,920 | but this hallway is shorter than I remember | but this hallway is shorter than I remember |
111 | 00:04:26,920 | 00:04:28,500 | and we're already here. | and we're already here. |
112 | 00:04:28,500 | 00:04:29,330 | Where? | Where? |
113 | 00:04:29,330 | 00:04:32,330 | Behold, your new assignment! | Behold, your new assignment! |
114 | 00:04:32,330 | 00:04:34,040 | Jack! Hey, look! | Jack! Hey, look! |
115 | 00:04:34,040 | 00:04:35,830 | I tied my own knot! | I tied my own knot! |
116 | 00:04:47,670 | 00:04:48,960 | You're pulling me from the field? | You're pulling me from the field? |
117 | 00:04:48,960 | 00:04:50,250 | When were you going to tell me? | When were you going to tell me? |
118 | 00:04:50,250 | 00:04:51,540 | Well, I was hoping to weave it | Well, I was hoping to weave it |
119 | 00:04:51,540 | 00:04:53,250 | into that German folktale, | into that German folktale, |
120 | 00:04:53,250 | 00:04:57,920 | but I still can't get over how short that hallway is. | but I still can't get over how short that hallway is. |
121 | 00:04:57,920 | 00:05:01,040 | Look, I need you here desperately, Jack. | Look, I need you here desperately, Jack. |
122 | 00:05:01,040 | 00:05:03,500 | You're the voice of the magazine. | You're the voice of the magazine. |
123 | 00:05:03,500 | 00:05:06,040 | Those young kids, they're smart, yes, | Those young kids, they're smart, yes, |
124 | 00:05:06,040 | 00:05:07,500 | but they don't know what to write about. | but they don't know what to write about. |
125 | 00:05:07,500 | 00:05:08,830 | Yeah, I've seen the website. | Yeah, I've seen the website. |
126 | 00:05:08,830 | 00:05:11,120 | "Best Three Ways to Drink Your Own Urine"? | "Best Three Ways to Drink Your Own Urine"? |
127 | 00:05:12,540 | 00:05:13,920 | There is no best way. | There is no best way. |
128 | 00:05:13,920 | 00:05:15,500 | BOTH: You just drink it. | BOTH: You just drink it. |
129 | 00:05:16,790 | 00:05:18,290 | Hi, Dad. | Hi, Dad. |
130 | 00:05:18,290 | 00:05:20,000 | Jack? Hi. | Jack? Hi. |
131 | 00:05:20,000 | 00:05:21,000 | Brooke, hi! | Brooke, hi! |
132 | 00:05:21,000 | 00:05:22,330 | Wow. | Wow. |
133 | 00:05:22,330 | 00:05:23,960 | Hi. | Hi. |
134 | 00:05:23,960 | 00:05:25,920 | I haven't seen you | I haven't seen you |
135 | 00:05:25,920 | 00:05:29,120 | since you showed up to the company retreat. | since you showed up to the company retreat. |
136 | 00:05:29,120 | 00:05:32,330 | Yeah, when we were paired together with those trust falls. | Yeah, when we were paired together with those trust falls. |
137 | 00:05:32,330 | 00:05:33,750 | Yes, that went well. | Yes, that went well. |
138 | 00:05:33,750 | 00:05:35,670 | It was a lot of tYeah. | It was a lot of tYeah. |
139 | 00:05:35,670 | 00:05:37,040 | Crazy amount of trust. | Crazy amount of trust. |
140 | 00:05:37,040 | 00:05:39,500 | A whole night of trust. | A whole night of trust. |
141 | 00:05:39,500 | 00:05:40,830 | I didn't realize you'd be doing all that falling. | I didn't realize you'd be doing all that falling. |
142 | 00:05:40,830 | 00:05:42,040 | Did you have some sort of protection? | Did you have some sort of protection? |
143 | 00:05:42,040 | 00:05:42,790 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
144 | 00:05:42,790 | 00:05:43,670 | She made me. | She made me. |
145 | 00:05:44,960 | 00:05:46,120 | You look great. | You look great. |
146 | 00:05:46,120 | 00:05:48,420 | Married life is treating you well. | Married life is treating you well. |
147 | 00:05:48,420 | 00:05:49,540 | Not married yet. | Not married yet. |
148 | 00:05:49,540 | 00:05:50,830 | Still engaged. | Still engaged. |
149 | 00:05:50,830 | 00:05:53,170 | Long engagements, always a good sign. | Long engagements, always a good sign. |
150 | 00:05:53,170 | 00:05:55,290 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
151 | 00:05:55,290 | 00:05:58,330 | So, is this "Take Your Daughter to Work Day"? | So, is this "Take Your Daughter to Work Day"? |
152 | 00:05:58,330 | 00:06:01,290 | No, I'm actually helping my dad run the magazine now. | No, I'm actually helping my dad run the magazine now. |
153 | 00:06:01,290 | 00:06:03,540 | Oh, so I'd be working with her? | Oh, so I'd be working with her? |
154 | 00:06:03,540 | 00:06:04,330 | With her? | With her? |
155 | 00:06:04,330 | 00:06:06,000 | No, no, no, no. | No, no, no, no. |
156 | 00:06:06,000 | 00:06:08,500 | No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. |
157 | 00:06:08,500 | 00:06:10,040 | No, for her. | No, for her. |
158 | 00:06:11,330 | 00:06:13,000 | It's quite simple, Jack. | It's quite simple, Jack. |
159 | 00:06:13,000 | 00:06:14,040 | You know the magazine. | You know the magazine. |
160 | 00:06:14,040 | 00:06:15,250 | Brooke, unlike the pair of us, | Brooke, unlike the pair of us, |
161 | 00:06:15,250 | 00:06:17,330 | knows how to engage with those youngsters. | knows how to engage with those youngsters. |
162 | 00:06:17,330 | 00:06:19,120 | So I need you both. | So I need you both. |
163 | 00:06:19,120 | 00:06:23,920 | It takes two to make a thing go... correctly, yes? | It takes two to make a thing go... correctly, yes? |
164 | 00:06:23,920 | 00:06:25,750 | But I don't belong here. | But I don't belong here. |
165 | 00:06:25,750 | 00:06:27,670 | I can help you more if I'm out there, | I can help you more if I'm out there, |
166 | 00:06:27,670 | 00:06:29,120 | getting you stories. | getting you stories. |
167 | 00:06:29,120 | 00:06:31,000 | Jack, there is no more "out there." | Jack, there is no more "out there." |
168 | 00:06:31,000 | 00:06:34,120 | Every adventure magazine is cutting back on field reporting. | Every adventure magazine is cutting back on field reporting. |
169 | 00:06:34,120 | 00:06:36,420 | I wouldn't be asking if I didn't think you were our last chance. | I wouldn't be asking if I didn't think you were our last chance. |
170 | 00:06:36,420 | 00:06:39,670 | It doesn't sound like you're asking. | It doesn't sound like you're asking. |
171 | 00:06:39,670 | 00:06:41,460 | Oh, I can make anything sound like a question. | Oh, I can make anything sound like a question. |
172 | 00:06:43,000 | 00:06:44,330 | Jack, you owe me? | Jack, you owe me? |
173 | 00:06:44,330 | 00:06:46,170 | You must do this? | You must do this? |
174 | 00:06:46,170 | 00:06:49,000 | Or you'll be fired? | Or you'll be fired? |
175 | 00:06:51,330 | 00:06:52,500 | Ugh. | Ugh. |
176 | 00:06:52,500 | 00:06:53,330 | Jack! | Jack! |
177 | 00:06:53,330 | 00:06:55,330 | Clark, what is that? | Clark, what is that? |
178 | 00:06:55,330 | 00:06:57,170 | We tried some roadkill recipe on the camping stove | We tried some roadkill recipe on the camping stove |
179 | 00:06:57,170 | 00:06:59,500 | and it turns out possum is super oily. | and it turns out possum is super oily. |
180 | 00:06:59,500 | 00:07:01,500 | Well, at least I can't smell Zeb. | Well, at least I can't smell Zeb. |
181 | 00:07:01,500 | 00:07:03,290 | ZEB: That makes one of us. | ZEB: That makes one of us. |
182 | 00:07:03,290 | 00:07:05,040 | Jack and I just met with Roland, | Jack and I just met with Roland, |
183 | 00:07:05,040 | 00:07:07,040 | and it looks like starting from tomorrow, | and it looks like starting from tomorrow, |
184 | 00:07:07,040 | 00:07:08,920 | Jack is gonna be supervising you guys. | Jack is gonna be supervising you guys. |
185 | 00:07:08,920 | 00:07:10,540 | Yes! | Yes! |
186 | 00:07:10,540 | 00:07:13,170 | Wait, I got passed over for a promotion again? | Wait, I got passed over for a promotion again? |
187 | 00:07:13,170 | 00:07:14,460 | What do I have to do? | What do I have to do? |
188 | 00:07:14,460 | 00:07:16,500 | I've been here eight weeks! | I've been here eight weeks! |
189 | 00:07:17,830 | 00:07:21,170 | Roland just wants Jack here to share his expertise | Roland just wants Jack here to share his expertise |
190 | 00:07:21,170 | 00:07:23,250 | on the magazine with you guys. | on the magazine with you guys. |
191 | 00:07:23,250 | 00:07:25,290 | And of course, on the outdoors. | And of course, on the outdoors. |
192 | 00:07:25,290 | 00:07:27,250 | Yeah, but what's his digital media footprint? | Yeah, but what's his digital media footprint? |
193 | 00:07:27,250 | 00:07:29,790 | He has no Twitter, no Facebook... | He has no Twitter, no Facebook... |
194 | 00:07:29,790 | 00:07:32,000 | It's like he doesn't exist. | It's like he doesn't exist. |
195 | 00:07:34,040 | 00:07:36,500 | Oh, but he does have a website from 1996. | Oh, but he does have a website from 1996. |
196 | 00:07:39,540 | 00:07:41,500 | How old are you? | How old are you? |
197 | 00:07:41,500 | 00:07:44,290 | Because that baby's old enough to have its own baby now. | Because that baby's old enough to have its own baby now. |
198 | 00:07:45,670 | 00:07:48,500 | You're like the human version of dial-up. | You're like the human version of dial-up. |
199 | 00:07:48,500 | 00:07:49,920 | Don't worry about it, Jack. | Don't worry about it, Jack. |
200 | 00:07:49,920 | 00:07:52,000 | I'm going to set up your Instagram account right now. | I'm going to set up your Instagram account right now. |
201 | 00:07:52,000 | 00:07:52,330 | Please don't do that. | Please don't do that. |
202 | 00:07:52,330 | 00:07:53,330 | Too late. | Too late. |
203 | 00:07:53,330 | 00:07:54,500 | My mom's already following you. | My mom's already following you. |
204 | 00:07:54,500 | 00:07:55,500 | Great. | Great. |
205 | 00:07:55,500 | 00:07:57,170 | Okay, Jack, why don't you start | Okay, Jack, why don't you start |
206 | 00:07:57,170 | 00:07:59,830 | by telling these guys what the magazine means to you? | by telling these guys what the magazine means to you? |
207 | 00:07:59,830 | 00:08:01,040 | Okay, yeah. | Okay, yeah. |
208 | 00:08:01,040 | 00:08:03,500 | Well, I think it's about getting out: | Well, I think it's about getting out: |
209 | 00:08:03,500 | 00:08:05,040 | getting out of your house, out of the city, | getting out of your house, out of the city, |
210 | 00:08:05,040 | 00:08:06,500 | out of your ruts... | out of your ruts... |
211 | 00:08:06,500 | 00:08:08,790 | Maybe we should change the name of the magazine to Out. | Maybe we should change the name of the magazine to Out. |
212 | 00:08:08,790 | 00:08:11,250 | Well, Out is already a gay magazine. | Well, Out is already a gay magazine. |
213 | 00:08:11,250 | 00:08:13,750 | Uh, you're not allowed to say that anymore. | Uh, you're not allowed to say that anymore. |
214 | 00:08:13,750 | 00:08:16,420 | No, Out is a real gay magazine. | No, Out is a real gay magazine. |
215 | 00:08:16,420 | 00:08:19,040 | Ooh, now he's calling it real gay. | Ooh, now he's calling it real gay. |
216 | 00:08:20,330 | 00:08:21,920 | No, it's an actual gay magazine. | No, it's an actual gay magazine. |
217 | 00:08:21,920 | 00:08:23,170 | Ask Mason. | Ask Mason. |
218 | 00:08:27,500 | 00:08:28,670 | Why me? | Why me? |
219 | 00:08:33,670 | 00:08:35,460 | Because, uh... | Because, uh... |
220 | 00:08:40,000 | 00:08:42,170 | Are you saying I'm gay, Jack? | Are you saying I'm gay, Jack? |
221 | 00:08:42,170 | 00:08:45,000 | I don't, uh... | I don't, uh... |
222 | 00:08:45,000 | 00:08:47,250 | Bandana? That's... | Bandana? That's... |
223 | 00:08:48,830 | 00:08:50,290 | I'm just messing with you, man! | I'm just messing with you, man! |
224 | 00:08:53,170 | 00:08:54,500 | So you are? | So you are? |
225 | 00:08:54,500 | 00:08:55,830 | Are you seriously asking me? | Are you seriously asking me? |
226 | 00:08:55,830 | 00:08:57,500 | No! | No! |
227 | 00:09:01,000 | 00:09:02,540 | Jack! | Jack! |
228 | 00:09:02,540 | 00:09:03,620 | I heard you were back in town. | I heard you were back in town. |
229 | 00:09:03,620 | 00:09:04,960 | You did? How? | You did? How? |
230 | 00:09:04,960 | 00:09:06,250 | Your Instagram. | Your Instagram. |
231 | 00:09:06,250 | 00:09:09,960 | Eddie, what's different about this place? | Eddie, what's different about this place? |
232 | 00:09:09,960 | 00:09:11,330 | Oh, that's right-- customers. | Oh, that's right-- customers. |
233 | 00:09:11,330 | 00:09:15,500 | Dude, I raised the price of PBR by a dollar | Dude, I raised the price of PBR by a dollar |
234 | 00:09:15,500 | 00:09:17,250 | and more of these kids came. | and more of these kids came. |
235 | 00:09:17,250 | 00:09:20,040 | Then I raised it to six dollars a can. | Then I raised it to six dollars a can. |
236 | 00:09:20,040 | 00:09:21,500 | There was a line out the door. | There was a line out the door. |
237 | 00:09:23,040 | 00:09:23,790 | How long are you in town for? | How long are you in town for? |
238 | 00:09:23,790 | 00:09:24,920 | I don't know. | I don't know. |
239 | 00:09:24,920 | 00:09:26,750 | They're trying to keep me in the office, | They're trying to keep me in the office, |
240 | 00:09:26,750 | 00:09:28,790 | and I have to work for Brooke. | and I have to work for Brooke. |
241 | 00:09:28,790 | 00:09:29,670 | Trust fall Brooke? | Trust fall Brooke? |
242 | 00:09:29,670 | 00:09:30,670 | Mm-hmm. | Mm-hmm. |
243 | 00:09:30,670 | 00:09:32,290 | That means you slept with your boss. | That means you slept with your boss. |
244 | 00:09:32,290 | 00:09:33,620 | That's hot. | That's hot. |
245 | 00:09:33,620 | 00:09:34,920 | And I should know. | And I should know. |
246 | 00:09:34,920 | 00:09:36,920 | I'm my own boss. | I'm my own boss. |
247 | 00:09:36,920 | 00:09:39,620 | Thank you for that imagery. | Thank you for that imagery. |
248 | 00:09:39,620 | 00:09:41,120 | I gotta get out of there. | I gotta get out of there. |
249 | 00:09:41,120 | 00:09:43,960 | I just spent the last few hours faxing my résumé everywhere. | I just spent the last few hours faxing my résumé everywhere. |
250 | 00:09:43,960 | 00:09:45,250 | Faxing, huh? | Faxing, huh? |
251 | 00:09:45,250 | 00:09:47,040 | Your pager didn't blow up? | Your pager didn't blow up? |
252 | 00:09:47,040 | 00:09:49,330 | Eddie, I don't need it from you. | Eddie, I don't need it from you. |
253 | 00:09:49,330 | 00:09:50,620 | I've been getting it all day | I've been getting it all day |
254 | 00:09:50,620 | 00:09:51,790 | from these stupid 20-somethings. | from these stupid 20-somethings. |
255 | 00:09:51,790 | 00:09:52,960 | Shh! Hey, hey. | Shh! Hey, hey. |
256 | 00:09:52,960 | 00:09:53,960 | Go back to your phones. | Go back to your phones. |
257 | 00:09:55,460 | 00:09:57,830 | They're smarter than you think they are. | They're smarter than you think they are. |
258 | 00:09:57,830 | 00:09:59,670 | They hustle and know how to make money, | They hustle and know how to make money, |
259 | 00:09:59,670 | 00:10:03,960 | which is why I can charge $12 for ironic Spam sandwiches. | which is why I can charge $12 for ironic Spam sandwiches. |
260 | 00:10:03,960 | 00:10:05,670 | Eddie, are we old? | Eddie, are we old? |
261 | 00:10:05,670 | 00:10:06,830 | No! | No! |
262 | 00:10:06,830 | 00:10:08,500 | You're younger than they make you feel. | You're younger than they make you feel. |
263 | 00:10:08,500 | 00:10:12,830 | Look, if you really want to test how old and out of it you are, | Look, if you really want to test how old and out of it you are, |
264 | 00:10:12,830 | 00:10:16,000 | I found a test on BuzzFeed that can measure your age | I found a test on BuzzFeed that can measure your age |
265 | 00:10:16,000 | 00:10:18,460 | to almost 90% certainty. | to almost 90% certainty. |
266 | 00:10:18,460 | 00:10:21,170 | Oh, like the replicant test in Blade Runner? | Oh, like the replicant test in Blade Runner? |
267 | 00:10:21,170 | 00:10:22,170 | Pencils down. | Pencils down. |
268 | 00:10:22,170 | 00:10:23,170 | You're old. | You're old. |
269 | 00:10:27,000 | 00:10:28,330 | BROOKE: Good morning, everyone. | BROOKE: Good morning, everyone. |
270 | 00:10:28,330 | 00:10:31,170 | We need some digital tie-ins to your piece | We need some digital tie-ins to your piece |
271 | 00:10:31,170 | 00:10:32,330 | on the bears. | on the bears. |
272 | 00:10:32,330 | 00:10:34,290 | So Jack, why don't you start | So Jack, why don't you start |
273 | 00:10:34,290 | 00:10:36,170 | by inspiring us with your experience? | by inspiring us with your experience? |
274 | 00:10:36,170 | 00:10:37,830 | Oh, all right. | Oh, all right. |
275 | 00:10:37,830 | 00:10:39,500 | Well, Kodiak Island | Well, Kodiak Island |
276 | 00:10:39,500 | 00:10:41,500 | is the largest island off the coast of Alaska... | is the largest island off the coast of Alaska... |
277 | 00:10:41,500 | 00:10:42,670 | Got it! | Got it! |
278 | 00:10:42,670 | 00:10:44,000 | A slide show link: | A slide show link: |
279 | 00:10:44,000 | 00:10:46,330 | "Five Things to Do If You're Attacked by a Bear." | "Five Things to Do If You're Attacked by a Bear." |
280 | 00:10:46,330 | 00:10:47,830 | That's good, Jack, this is totally your thing. | That's good, Jack, this is totally your thing. |
281 | 00:10:47,830 | 00:10:48,830 | What do you think? | What do you think? |
282 | 00:10:48,830 | 00:10:51,000 | Oh, well, obviously bear spray. | Oh, well, obviously bear spray. |
283 | 00:10:51,000 | 00:10:52,000 | No, there is no bear spray. | No, there is no bear spray. |
284 | 00:10:52,000 | 00:10:53,170 | The attack's already on. | The attack's already on. |
285 | 00:10:53,170 | 00:10:55,170 | DiCaprio versus Bear! | DiCaprio versus Bear! |
286 | 00:10:56,500 | 00:10:59,170 | Jack, just name one thing to do if a bear attacks. | Jack, just name one thing to do if a bear attacks. |
287 | 00:10:59,170 | 00:11:01,000 | Die. | Die. |
288 | 00:11:04,330 | 00:11:06,040 | You die. | You die. |
289 | 00:11:08,540 | 00:11:11,580 | I've seen it. | I've seen it. |
290 | 00:11:11,580 | 00:11:14,960 | ZEB: Maybe change the list to "Top One Thing to Do"? | ZEB: Maybe change the list to "Top One Thing to Do"? |
291 | 00:11:15,620 | 00:11:18,460 | Guys, Roland wanted me to get you to write stories | Guys, Roland wanted me to get you to write stories |
292 | 00:11:18,460 | 00:11:20,250 | that inspire people. | that inspire people. |
293 | 00:11:20,250 | 00:11:22,330 | Now, I lived on Kodiak Island | Now, I lived on Kodiak Island |
294 | 00:11:22,330 | 00:11:24,790 | with bear cubs that were coming out of hibernation | with bear cubs that were coming out of hibernation |
295 | 00:11:24,790 | 00:11:26,920 | for the very first time. | for the very first time. |
296 | 00:11:26,920 | 00:11:29,330 | Very few people have ever seen this. | Very few people have ever seen this. |
297 | 00:11:29,330 | 00:11:31,040 | I just found these bears playing in someone's swimming pool. | I just found these bears playing in someone's swimming pool. |
298 | 00:11:31,040 | 00:11:32,330 | That's pretty cool. | That's pretty cool. |
299 | 00:11:36,040 | 00:11:37,960 | No, guys, this is not what I'm talking about! | No, guys, this is not what I'm talking about! |
300 | 00:11:37,960 | 00:11:40,170 | I'm talking about a majestic species | I'm talking about a majestic species |
301 | 00:11:40,170 | 00:11:41,540 | on the brink of extinction. | on the brink of extinction. |
302 | 00:11:41,540 | 00:11:43,330 | You guys don't know what it's like | You guys don't know what it's like |
303 | 00:11:43,330 | 00:11:45,830 | to look at a creature that is the last of its kind. | to look at a creature that is the last of its kind. |
304 | 00:11:45,830 | 00:11:48,040 | ALL: Yeah, we do. | ALL: Yeah, we do. |
305 | 00:11:50,830 | 00:11:52,920 | Okay, this was a really good meeting, guys. | Okay, this was a really good meeting, guys. |
306 | 00:11:52,920 | 00:11:54,170 | Thank you so much... | Thank you so much... |
307 | 00:11:54,170 | 00:11:56,290 | You're all so... confident. | You're all so... confident. |
308 | 00:11:57,620 | 00:11:58,830 | You went to good schools. | You went to good schools. |
309 | 00:11:58,830 | 00:12:00,920 | You played on winning teams. | You played on winning teams. |
310 | 00:12:00,920 | 00:12:02,920 | We only won two games that year. | We only won two games that year. |
311 | 00:12:02,920 | 00:12:04,330 | You're holding a huge trophy. | You're holding a huge trophy. |
312 | 00:12:04,330 | 00:12:05,670 | Uh, yeah, we got that | Uh, yeah, we got that |
313 | 00:12:05,670 | 00:12:08,000 | 'cause we all tried really hard. | 'cause we all tried really hard. |
314 | 00:12:08,000 | 00:12:10,500 | Yeah, well, so did the team that won! | Yeah, well, so did the team that won! |
315 | 00:12:10,500 | 00:12:12,040 | Trophies are for winners. | Trophies are for winners. |
316 | 00:12:12,040 | 00:12:13,830 | Ew. | Ew. |
317 | 00:12:14,960 | 00:12:17,170 | Clark, what are you doing? | Clark, what are you doing? |
318 | 00:12:17,170 | 00:12:18,290 | I'm listening. | I'm listening. |
319 | 00:12:18,290 | 00:12:20,170 | I'm just setting up for my podcast. | I'm just setting up for my podcast. |
320 | 00:12:20,170 | 00:12:21,960 | You've got a podcast? | You've got a podcast? |
321 | 00:12:21,960 | 00:12:23,420 | About what? | About what? |
322 | 00:12:23,420 | 00:12:24,830 | I interview people. | I interview people. |
323 | 00:12:24,830 | 00:12:27,500 | Who are you interviewing today? | Who are you interviewing today? |
324 | 00:12:27,500 | 00:12:28,420 | Mason. | Mason. |
325 | 00:12:30,420 | 00:12:33,750 | And what are you interviewing Mason about? | And what are you interviewing Mason about? |
326 | 00:12:35,290 | 00:12:36,500 | His podcast. | His podcast. |
327 | 00:12:36,500 | 00:12:38,290 | All right, stop this! | All right, stop this! |
328 | 00:12:38,290 | 00:12:39,290 | Stop this right now! | Stop this right now! |
329 | 00:12:39,290 | 00:12:40,330 | This is work! | This is work! |
330 | 00:12:40,330 | 00:12:42,120 | You guys always expect work to be fun. | You guys always expect work to be fun. |
331 | 00:12:42,120 | 00:12:44,500 | You can't just post animal videos | You can't just post animal videos |
332 | 00:12:44,500 | 00:12:45,830 | and call it journalism. | and call it journalism. |
333 | 00:12:45,830 | 00:12:47,620 | You can't take a word, remove some vowels, | You can't take a word, remove some vowels, |
334 | 00:12:47,620 | 00:12:49,960 | and think it's a great app. | and think it's a great app. |
335 | 00:12:49,960 | 00:12:50,960 | And Clark, | And Clark, |
336 | 00:12:50,960 | 00:12:52,250 | get a podcast | get a podcast |
337 | 00:12:52,250 | 00:12:53,670 | when you have something to say. | when you have something to say. |
338 | 00:12:53,670 | 00:12:56,250 | In fact, you should have the first silent podcast | In fact, you should have the first silent podcast |
339 | 00:12:56,250 | 00:12:57,790 | because up to this point, | because up to this point, |
340 | 00:12:57,790 | 00:13:01,420 | you have said nothing that improves on silence. | you have said nothing that improves on silence. |
341 | 00:13:02,750 | 00:13:04,420 | That's a really good idea. | That's a really good idea. |
342 | 00:13:12,000 | 00:13:13,500 | Mr. Gordon, do you realize | Mr. Gordon, do you realize |
343 | 00:13:13,500 | 00:13:15,120 | why this meeting has been called between you, | why this meeting has been called between you, |
344 | 00:13:15,120 | 00:13:17,170 | human resources, our general counsel, | human resources, our general counsel, |
345 | 00:13:17,170 | 00:13:18,460 | and your superior? | and your superior? |
346 | 00:13:21,960 | 00:13:24,120 | Because I made Clark cry. | Because I made Clark cry. |
347 | 00:13:24,120 | 00:13:26,000 | You made Clark cry. | You made Clark cry. |
348 | 00:13:26,000 | 00:13:28,620 | You created a hostile work environment | You created a hostile work environment |
349 | 00:13:28,620 | 00:13:30,170 | which puts our company in jeopardy of a lawsuit. | which puts our company in jeopardy of a lawsuit. |
350 | 00:13:31,170 | 00:13:32,290 | Hah! | Hah! |
351 | 00:13:32,290 | 00:13:33,290 | Uh... | Uh... |
352 | 00:13:36,830 | 00:13:40,580 | Young adults today are a very delicate group. | Young adults today are a very delicate group. |
353 | 00:13:40,580 | 00:13:43,290 | We offer an entire class on how to deal with them. | We offer an entire class on how to deal with them. |
354 | 00:13:43,290 | 00:13:46,500 | Is the class called, "I Was Born in the "90s, Wahhhhh"? | Is the class called, "I Was Born in the "90s, Wahhhhh"? |
355 | 00:13:46,500 | 00:13:50,290 | Look, we're both getting up there in years. | Look, we're both getting up there in years. |
356 | 00:13:53,920 | 00:13:55,080 | It's frustrating. | It's frustrating. |
357 | 00:13:55,080 | 00:13:56,750 | Sometimes, I want to beat them senseless | Sometimes, I want to beat them senseless |
358 | 00:13:56,750 | 00:13:58,920 | with their selfie sticks. | with their selfie sticks. |
359 | 00:14:02,290 | 00:14:04,040 | But they're the only reason any of us | But they're the only reason any of us |
360 | 00:14:04,040 | 00:14:06,500 | are still employed right now, so get used to it. | are still employed right now, so get used to it. |
361 | 00:14:08,210 | 00:14:10,920 | Jolly good. | Jolly good. |
362 | 00:14:10,920 | 00:14:14,380 | Human resources and a lawyer on your second day. | Human resources and a lawyer on your second day. |
363 | 00:14:14,380 | 00:14:16,670 | Save something for the Christmas party. | Save something for the Christmas party. |
364 | 00:14:17,920 | 00:14:19,420 | Roland, I feel terrible saying this, | Roland, I feel terrible saying this, |
365 | 00:14:19,420 | 00:14:21,080 | but I can't do this. | but I can't do this. |
366 | 00:14:21,080 | 00:14:23,040 | Ah. | Ah. |
367 | 00:14:23,040 | 00:14:26,080 | Do you know remember the story behind this severed rope? | Do you know remember the story behind this severed rope? |
368 | 00:14:26,080 | 00:14:26,920 | No. | No. |
369 | 00:14:28,250 | 00:14:31,000 | No, neither do I. | No, neither do I. |
370 | 00:14:31,000 | 00:14:33,880 | Still, I'm sure you can work with those kids. | Still, I'm sure you can work with those kids. |
371 | 00:14:33,880 | 00:14:34,790 | I tried. | I tried. |
372 | 00:14:34,790 | 00:14:35,790 | I'm sorry. | I'm sorry. |
373 | 00:14:35,790 | 00:14:37,580 | Shame. | Shame. |
374 | 00:14:37,580 | 00:14:39,580 | It would have been good for you. | It would have been good for you. |
375 | 00:14:39,580 | 00:14:44,170 | "Twilight and evening bell, and after that, the dark. | "Twilight and evening bell, and after that, the dark. |
376 | 00:14:44,170 | 00:14:50,040 | And may there be no sadness of farewell when I embark." | And may there be no sadness of farewell when I embark." |
377 | 00:14:52,170 | 00:14:53,920 | That line called for a dramatic exit, | That line called for a dramatic exit, |
378 | 00:14:53,920 | 00:14:55,750 | but it is my office, so get out. | but it is my office, so get out. |
379 | 00:14:59,920 | 00:15:01,250 | So that's it? | So that's it? |
380 | 00:15:01,250 | 00:15:02,540 | You're just gonna leave for good? | You're just gonna leave for good? |
381 | 00:15:02,540 | 00:15:03,920 | Oh, I'm sorry, | Oh, I'm sorry, |
382 | 00:15:03,920 | 00:15:06,540 | do you need me to submit an official resignation tweet? | do you need me to submit an official resignation tweet? |
383 | 00:15:06,540 | 00:15:08,920 | Yes, I'm leaving for good. | Yes, I'm leaving for good. |
384 | 00:15:13,790 | 00:15:15,420 | Jack, my dad needs you here. | Jack, my dad needs you here. |
385 | 00:15:15,420 | 00:15:16,500 | No, he needs you. | No, he needs you. |
386 | 00:15:16,500 | 00:15:17,580 | You can do everything. | You can do everything. |
387 | 00:15:17,580 | 00:15:18,420 | You're smart, | You're smart, |
388 | 00:15:18,420 | 00:15:19,710 | you're beautiful, | you're beautiful, |
389 | 00:15:19,710 | 00:15:21,040 | you say "shedule." | you say "shedule." |
390 | 00:15:21,710 | 00:15:23,040 | Where are you going to go? | Where are you going to go? |
391 | 00:15:23,040 | 00:15:26,170 | You can't keep doing this lone wolf thing forever. | You can't keep doing this lone wolf thing forever. |
392 | 00:15:26,170 | 00:15:27,170 | Why not? | Why not? |
393 | 00:15:27,170 | 00:15:28,210 | That's what lone wolves do. | That's what lone wolves do. |
394 | 00:15:28,210 | 00:15:29,250 | That's what I've always done. | That's what I've always done. |
395 | 00:15:29,250 | 00:15:30,580 | Look at me posing with all my friends. | Look at me posing with all my friends. |
396 | 00:15:33,250 | 00:15:34,750 | I'm not going to change, and I'm fine with that. | I'm not going to change, and I'm fine with that. |
397 | 00:15:34,750 | 00:15:36,250 | Oh, really? | Oh, really? |
398 | 00:15:36,250 | 00:15:38,290 | That's not what you told me that night at the retreat. | That's not what you told me that night at the retreat. |
399 | 00:15:38,290 | 00:15:41,000 | Well, we said a lot of things that night we didn't mean, | Well, we said a lot of things that night we didn't mean, |
400 | 00:15:41,000 | 00:15:42,500 | like, "This is my last mojito." | like, "This is my last mojito." |
401 | 00:15:42,500 | 00:15:44,170 | "I'm gonna go back to my room." | "I'm gonna go back to my room." |
402 | 00:15:44,170 | 00:15:46,790 | "Don't use that, that's been in your wallet for years." | "Don't use that, that's been in your wallet for years." |
403 | 00:15:48,790 | 00:15:50,250 | And "I'll call you." | And "I'll call you." |
404 | 00:15:50,250 | 00:15:52,040 | I did call you! | I did call you! |
405 | 00:15:52,040 | 00:15:53,290 | Yes, it was a few days later, | Yes, it was a few days later, |
406 | 00:15:53,290 | 00:15:55,000 | but by then, you were already running away. | but by then, you were already running away. |
407 | 00:15:55,000 | 00:15:56,500 | I can't exist in this world, | I can't exist in this world, |
408 | 00:15:56,500 | 00:15:58,580 | and I can't get through to those kids. | and I can't get through to those kids. |
409 | 00:15:58,580 | 00:16:00,040 | You were once that kid to my dad, | You were once that kid to my dad, |
410 | 00:16:00,040 | 00:16:01,250 | and he got through to you. | and he got through to you. |
411 | 00:16:01,250 | 00:16:02,750 | Now he just needs you to prove | Now he just needs you to prove |
412 | 00:16:02,750 | 00:16:05,540 | that the outside world is more than something on a screen. | that the outside world is more than something on a screen. |
413 | 00:16:05,540 | 00:16:08,290 | Oh, Brooke, I never thought about it that way. | Oh, Brooke, I never thought about it that way. |
414 | 00:16:08,290 | 00:16:09,920 | You mean I could forge a lasting, | You mean I could forge a lasting, |
415 | 00:16:09,920 | 00:16:12,290 | meaningful relationship with the younger generation? | meaningful relationship with the younger generation? |
416 | 00:16:12,290 | 00:16:13,750 | And who knows? | And who knows? |
417 | 00:16:13,750 | 00:16:15,920 | Even though I'm the teacher, maybe I could end up... | Even though I'm the teacher, maybe I could end up... |
418 | 00:16:15,920 | 00:16:17,210 | Blah, blah, blah! | Blah, blah, blah! |
419 | 00:16:19,290 | 00:16:20,420 | What's wrong? | What's wrong? |
420 | 00:16:20,420 | 00:16:21,500 | How was work? | How was work? |
421 | 00:16:21,500 | 00:16:22,420 | Awful. | Awful. |
422 | 00:16:22,420 | 00:16:23,580 | I hurt a millennial's feelings. | I hurt a millennial's feelings. |
423 | 00:16:23,580 | 00:16:24,790 | When are their feelings not hurt? | When are their feelings not hurt? |
424 | 00:16:24,790 | 00:16:26,170 | Hey! | Hey! |
425 | 00:16:26,170 | 00:16:28,380 | See? | See? |
426 | 00:16:28,380 | 00:16:30,290 | Nachos, on the house. | Nachos, on the house. |
427 | 00:16:33,790 | 00:16:35,170 | Clay? | Clay? |
428 | 00:16:35,170 | 00:16:36,420 | Clark. | Clark. |
429 | 00:16:39,750 | 00:16:41,380 | What are you doing here? | What are you doing here? |
430 | 00:16:41,380 | 00:16:43,080 | I heard you might be leaving and it was all my fault | I heard you might be leaving and it was all my fault |
431 | 00:16:43,080 | 00:16:44,880 | for crying, so I just wanted to say | for crying, so I just wanted to say |
432 | 00:16:44,880 | 00:16:47,080 | I do not deserve to walk in your shoes. | I do not deserve to walk in your shoes. |
433 | 00:16:47,080 | 00:16:49,540 | This is totally unnecessary. | This is totally unnecessary. |
434 | 00:16:49,540 | 00:16:52,210 | And you should have brought a second pair of shoes. | And you should have brought a second pair of shoes. |
435 | 00:16:52,210 | 00:16:54,750 | Look, Jack, you were right about what you said before. | Look, Jack, you were right about what you said before. |
436 | 00:16:54,750 | 00:16:57,080 | I don't know why I have a podcast. | I don't know why I have a podcast. |
437 | 00:16:57,080 | 00:16:58,540 | I have nothing important to say. | I have nothing important to say. |
438 | 00:16:58,540 | 00:17:01,380 | But you do, and you inspire people. | But you do, and you inspire people. |
439 | 00:17:01,380 | 00:17:03,040 | We need that around the office. | We need that around the office. |
440 | 00:17:03,040 | 00:17:04,540 | I know I talk a big game, | I know I talk a big game, |
441 | 00:17:04,540 | 00:17:05,880 | but I sort of don't know what I'm doing. | but I sort of don't know what I'm doing. |
442 | 00:17:08,170 | 00:17:09,790 | I posted one of your old Galápagos stories, | I posted one of your old Galápagos stories, |
443 | 00:17:09,790 | 00:17:11,170 | like, two hours ago | like, two hours ago |
444 | 00:17:11,170 | 00:17:13,290 | and it has 200,000 views so far. | and it has 200,000 views so far. |
445 | 00:17:13,290 | 00:17:15,380 | Whoa, 200,000? | Whoa, 200,000? |
446 | 00:17:15,380 | 00:17:16,210 | It's pretty weak. | It's pretty weak. |
447 | 00:17:16,210 | 00:17:17,420 | Slow your roll, bro. | Slow your roll, bro. |
448 | 00:17:18,580 | 00:17:19,880 | But it was just getting started, | But it was just getting started, |
449 | 00:17:19,880 | 00:17:21,170 | and it triggered a crowdfunding campaign | and it triggered a crowdfunding campaign |
450 | 00:17:21,170 | 00:17:23,290 | to help save the turtles-- take a look. | to help save the turtles-- take a look. |
451 | 00:17:23,290 | 00:17:24,250 | That's a penis. | That's a penis. |
452 | 00:17:24,250 | 00:17:26,290 | Damn it, Mason! | Damn it, Mason! |
453 | 00:17:26,290 | 00:17:28,580 | Look, I get it, you care-- thank you. | Look, I get it, you care-- thank you. |
454 | 00:17:28,580 | 00:17:30,920 | And I don't want to disappoint Roland either. | And I don't want to disappoint Roland either. |
455 | 00:17:30,920 | 00:17:32,290 | No, no, no, Roland's gonna be fine. | No, no, no, Roland's gonna be fine. |
456 | 00:17:32,290 | 00:17:34,500 | It was Brooke's idea to bring you back from the field. | It was Brooke's idea to bring you back from the field. |
457 | 00:17:34,500 | 00:17:36,290 | It was Brooke's idea? | It was Brooke's idea? |
458 | 00:17:36,290 | 00:17:38,250 | Yeah, she's the one who convinced him to call you in. | Yeah, she's the one who convinced him to call you in. |
459 | 00:17:40,250 | 00:17:42,080 | Thank you for telling me that. | Thank you for telling me that. |
460 | 00:17:42,080 | 00:17:46,170 | And look, these incredibly sweaty things are yours | And look, these incredibly sweaty things are yours |
461 | 00:17:46,170 | 00:17:48,210 | and you should wear them. | and you should wear them. |
462 | 00:17:48,210 | 00:17:50,250 | Hey, I got an opening tomorrow for my podcast if you wanna... | Hey, I got an opening tomorrow for my podcast if you wanna... |
463 | 00:17:50,250 | 00:17:51,420 | Don't push it. | Don't push it. |
464 | 00:18:04,750 | 00:18:07,920 | Yeah, I'd get out of there if I were you, too. | Yeah, I'd get out of there if I were you, too. |
465 | 00:18:10,920 | 00:18:11,710 | Whoa! | Whoa! |
466 | 00:18:11,710 | 00:18:13,540 | That must have been dirty and smelly. | That must have been dirty and smelly. |
467 | 00:18:13,540 | 00:18:16,040 | Is there any other way? | Is there any other way? |
468 | 00:18:18,580 | 00:18:20,880 | Thank you for coming back. | Thank you for coming back. |
469 | 00:18:20,880 | 00:18:22,420 | My dad will be very happy. | My dad will be very happy. |
470 | 00:18:22,420 | 00:18:23,210 | Mm. | Mm. |
471 | 00:18:23,210 | 00:18:24,210 | Just your dad? | Just your dad? |
472 | 00:18:24,210 | 00:18:25,380 | Yes. | Yes. |
473 | 00:18:25,380 | 00:18:26,080 | Hmm? | Hmm? |
474 | 00:18:26,080 | 00:18:27,250 | Yes! | Yes! |
475 | 00:18:27,250 | 00:18:28,250 | Okay. | Okay. |
476 | 00:18:28,250 | 00:18:30,040 | Good morning, you guys. | Good morning, you guys. |
477 | 00:18:30,040 | 00:18:32,750 | I need to start with an apology. | I need to start with an apology. |
478 | 00:18:32,750 | 00:18:34,250 | No, no, it's okay, I forgive you! | No, no, it's okay, I forgive you! |
479 | 00:18:34,250 | 00:18:35,790 | We hashed it out last night. | We hashed it out last night. |
480 | 00:18:35,790 | 00:18:37,080 | We hang out outside of work. | We hang out outside of work. |
481 | 00:18:37,080 | 00:18:39,750 | It's cool, don't make a big deal about it. | It's cool, don't make a big deal about it. |
482 | 00:18:39,750 | 00:18:42,420 | I know you guys always have to have fun at work, | I know you guys always have to have fun at work, |
483 | 00:18:42,420 | 00:18:44,420 | so I thought I'd bring you | so I thought I'd bring you |
484 | 00:18:44,420 | 00:18:46,170 | some of the real world that I keep talking about, | some of the real world that I keep talking about, |
485 | 00:18:46,170 | 00:18:49,710 | courtesy of the Illinois Wildlife Conservatory. | courtesy of the Illinois Wildlife Conservatory. |
486 | 00:18:51,000 | 00:18:52,500 | ALL: Aw! | ALL: Aw! |
487 | 00:18:52,500 | 00:18:53,750 | You guys, | You guys, |
488 | 00:18:53,750 | 00:18:55,750 | can we put away the phones for one second? | can we put away the phones for one second? |
489 | 00:18:55,750 | 00:18:57,210 | I swear this will be an experience | I swear this will be an experience |
490 | 00:18:57,210 | 00:18:59,080 | even without recording it. | even without recording it. |
491 | 00:18:59,080 | 00:19:00,790 | So, this is Henry. | So, this is Henry. |
492 | 00:19:00,790 | 00:19:04,750 | His species has had quite a bit of trouble recently, | His species has had quite a bit of trouble recently, |
493 | 00:19:04,750 | 00:19:08,920 | but with a little bit of help, he's gonna learn how to adapt. | but with a little bit of help, he's gonna learn how to adapt. |
494 | 00:19:08,920 | 00:19:10,080 | Wow, you know, in a way, | Wow, you know, in a way, |
495 | 00:19:10,080 | 00:19:11,250 | that's a lot like what's happening... | that's a lot like what's happening... |
496 | 00:19:11,250 | 00:19:12,710 | You draw a parallel right now, | You draw a parallel right now, |
497 | 00:19:12,710 | 00:19:15,040 | I will tear both your arms off and beat you with them. | I will tear both your arms off and beat you with them. |
498 | 00:19:16,210 | 00:19:17,920 | So, what do you think? Any ideas? | So, what do you think? Any ideas? |
499 | 00:19:17,920 | 00:19:19,580 | We could set up an interactive fact sheet | We could set up an interactive fact sheet |
500 | 00:19:19,580 | 00:19:21,080 | to chart his weight and growth. | to chart his weight and growth. |
501 | 00:19:21,080 | 00:19:23,250 | Our site can auto-route to the donation page. | Our site can auto-route to the donation page. |
502 | 00:19:23,250 | 00:19:25,080 | CLARK: And each page will have a link | CLARK: And each page will have a link |
503 | 00:19:25,080 | 00:19:26,000 | to one of Jack's essays | to one of Jack's essays |
504 | 00:19:26,000 | 00:19:27,250 | about tracking the bears in their habitat. | about tracking the bears in their habitat. |
505 | 00:19:27,250 | 00:19:29,710 | And I will tell my friends to read these links | And I will tell my friends to read these links |
506 | 00:19:29,710 | 00:19:31,290 | when I see them. | when I see them. |
507 | 00:19:31,290 | 00:19:32,710 | In person. | In person. |
508 | 00:19:34,040 | 00:19:37,210 | So, Roland, what do you think? | So, Roland, what do you think? |
509 | 00:19:37,210 | 00:19:39,210 | Wonderful! | Wonderful! |
510 | 00:19:39,210 | 00:19:41,750 | Wonderful bear. | Wonderful bear. |
511 | 00:19:41,750 | 00:19:43,420 | I know you were talking, | I know you were talking, |
512 | 00:19:43,420 | 00:19:45,920 | but I'm afraid I didn't hear a single word any of you said. | but I'm afraid I didn't hear a single word any of you said. |
513 | 00:19:45,920 | 00:19:47,750 | It sounded enthusiastic, though, and motivated, | It sounded enthusiastic, though, and motivated, |
514 | 00:19:47,750 | 00:19:49,710 | so well done, good job. | so well done, good job. |
515 | 00:19:49,710 | 00:19:50,920 | Now, | Now, |
516 | 00:19:50,920 | 00:19:52,250 | Henry and I are going down | Henry and I are going down |
517 | 00:19:52,250 | 00:19:53,670 | for our nap. | for our nap. |
518 | 00:19:53,670 | 00:19:56,000 | I put some scotch in his milk. | I put some scotch in his milk. |
519 | 00:19:56,000 | 00:19:58,460 | Thank you all so much. | Thank you all so much. |
520 | 00:19:58,460 | 00:20:00,790 | It means the world to me, you know that. | It means the world to me, you know that. |
521 | 00:20:00,790 | 00:20:02,210 | Come on, Henry. | Come on, Henry. |
522 | 00:20:04,210 | 00:20:07,330 | Well, kids, that was okay. | Well, kids, that was okay. |
523 | 00:20:08,540 | 00:20:12,710 | Not great, not even really that good, but... | Not great, not even really that good, but... |
524 | 00:20:12,710 | 00:20:13,710 | But! | But! |
525 | 00:20:13,710 | 00:20:15,710 | We did all try really hard, | We did all try really hard, |
526 | 00:20:15,710 | 00:20:18,210 | and I think you know what that means. | and I think you know what that means. |
527 | 00:20:18,210 | 00:20:19,210 | Trophies?! | Trophies?! |
528 | 00:20:19,210 | 00:20:20,540 | Uh-huh! | Uh-huh! |
529 | 00:20:24,790 | 00:20:26,040 | Here you go. | Here you go. |
530 | 00:20:27,290 | 00:20:28,960 | I'm just gonna give him part of it. | I'm just gonna give him part of it. |
531 | 00:20:28,960 | 00:20:30,710 | I don't feel like he really participated. | I don't feel like he really participated. |
532 | 00:20:38,040 | 00:20:41,290 | Mr. Gordon, do you realize why we're here again? | Mr. Gordon, do you realize why we're here again? |
533 | 00:20:42,580 | 00:20:45,000 | I brought a bear into the office. | I brought a bear into the office. |
534 | 00:20:45,000 | 00:20:46,000 | You brought | You brought |
535 | 00:20:46,000 | 00:20:49,080 | a bear into the office. | a bear into the office. |
536 | 00:20:49,080 | 00:20:50,880 | And? | And? |
537 | 00:20:50,880 | 00:20:53,330 | And it ate Esther's support animal. | And it ate Esther's support animal. |
538 | 00:20:57,170 | 00:20:58,790 | Um... hmm! | Um... hmm! |