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# | Start | End | Original | Translated |
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1 | 00:00:07,374 | 00:00:09,276 | [cricket chirping] | [cricket chirping] |
2 | 00:00:12,379 | 00:00:13,814 | I don't know why | I don't know why |
3 | 00:00:13,881 | 00:00:16,617 | but this painting always makes me laugh. | but this painting always makes me laugh. |
4 | 00:00:16,717 | 00:00:18,819 | Punch? Judy? Wrap it up. | Punch? Judy? Wrap it up. |
5 | 00:00:18,986 | 00:00:21,555 | It'll look nice in the bathroom. | It'll look nice in the bathroom. |
6 | 00:00:21,722 | 00:00:23,190 | Batgirl: Bathroom? | Batgirl: Bathroom? |
7 | 00:00:25,692 | 00:00:27,060 | [handcuffs clicks] | [handcuffs clicks] |
8 | 00:00:28,862 | 00:00:32,433 | I consider the bathroom more of a library than art gallery. | I consider the bathroom more of a library than art gallery. |
9 | 00:00:33,033 | 00:00:34,334 | [growls] | [growls] |
10 | 00:00:34,401 | 00:00:35,636 | Judy! | Judy! |
11 | 00:00:37,271 | 00:00:39,339 | Huh-uhh! | Huh-uhh! |
12 | 00:00:39,973 | 00:00:41,308 | Unh-uhh! | Unh-uhh! |
13 | 00:00:43,410 | 00:00:47,214 | Someone should frame that move because it was a masterpiece. | Someone should frame that move because it was a masterpiece. |
14 | 00:00:48,282 | 00:00:49,750 | The kids are here | The kids are here |
15 | 00:00:49,817 | 00:00:51,819 | but where's the den mother? | but where's the den mother? |
16 | 00:00:52,586 | 00:00:53,720 | Huh? | Huh? |
17 | 00:00:53,787 | 00:00:55,389 | Hey! Whoa! | Hey! Whoa! |
18 | 00:00:56,490 | 00:00:58,192 | Have you seen my latest piece? | Have you seen my latest piece? |
19 | 00:00:58,258 | 00:01:00,461 | It's called bat-bits on canvas. | It's called bat-bits on canvas. |
20 | 00:01:00,494 | 00:01:02,362 | Ha ha ha! | Ha ha ha! |
21 | 00:01:06,099 | 00:01:08,669 | [theme music playing] | [theme music playing] |
22 | 00:02:13,667 | 00:02:14,768 | [gasping] | [gasping] |
23 | 00:02:16,270 | 00:02:17,337 | Unh! | Unh! |
24 | 00:02:20,173 | 00:02:21,942 | Oops! Gotta run. | Oops! Gotta run. |
25 | 00:02:22,309 | 00:02:24,144 | Ha ha ha! | Ha ha ha! |
26 | 00:02:24,278 | 00:02:26,480 | Ah-ha ha ha! | Ah-ha ha ha! |
27 | 00:02:27,548 | 00:02:29,917 | Don't look at me like that. I'm going to be late! | Don't look at me like that. I'm going to be late! |
28 | 00:02:34,555 | 00:02:37,357 | Ahh-ha ha ha! | Ahh-ha ha ha! |
29 | 00:02:43,263 | 00:02:45,432 | [police radio chatter] | [police radio chatter] |
30 | 00:02:47,601 | 00:02:49,436 | [siren wails] | [siren wails] |
31 | 00:02:52,973 | 00:02:55,709 | Looks like Joker's gonna need some new goons. | Looks like Joker's gonna need some new goons. |
32 | 00:02:55,909 | 00:02:57,644 | See if you two can pick up his trail. | See if you two can pick up his trail. |
33 | 00:02:57,744 | 00:02:58,946 | I'll join you shortly. | I'll join you shortly. |
34 | 00:02:59,079 | 00:03:00,414 | Where are you going? | Where are you going? |
35 | 00:03:00,547 | 00:03:03,350 | I have to deal with a whole other kind of craziness. | I have to deal with a whole other kind of craziness. |
36 | 00:03:14,494 | 00:03:16,863 | Hurry, hurry! Can't miss it! | Hurry, hurry! Can't miss it! |
37 | 00:03:18,899 | 00:03:21,168 | - Yes! - Here's Harley! | - Yes! - Here's Harley! |
38 | 00:03:21,301 | 00:03:23,503 | [audience cheers] | [audience cheers] |
39 | 00:03:27,708 | 00:03:29,843 | Mwah! Hiya, folks. | Mwah! Hiya, folks. |
40 | 00:03:29,977 | 00:03:32,746 | Time for an hour of love and laughter with me, | Time for an hour of love and laughter with me, |
41 | 00:03:32,879 | 00:03:35,048 | Dr. Harleen Quinzel. | Dr. Harleen Quinzel. |
42 | 00:03:35,182 | 00:03:37,484 | [cheering] | [cheering] |
43 | 00:03:40,045 | 00:03:42,322 | With Valentine's Day right around the corner, | With Valentine's Day right around the corner, |
44 | 00:03:42,456 | 00:03:45,192 | Harley's here with helpful advice. | Harley's here with helpful advice. |
45 | 00:03:45,392 | 00:03:46,627 | Talk to me. | Talk to me. |
46 | 00:03:46,760 | 00:03:47,861 | Man: Uh, hi, Harley. | Man: Uh, hi, Harley. |
47 | 00:03:47,995 | 00:03:49,796 | Uh, there's this girl I like-- | Uh, there's this girl I like-- |
48 | 00:03:49,930 | 00:03:51,465 | Three words, Romeo. | Three words, Romeo. |
49 | 00:03:51,598 | 00:03:53,467 | Flowers, flowers, flowers. | Flowers, flowers, flowers. |
50 | 00:03:53,600 | 00:03:55,702 | And never take "No" for an answer. | And never take "No" for an answer. |
51 | 00:03:55,802 | 00:03:57,671 | Have a good 'un, puddin'. | Have a good 'un, puddin'. |
52 | 00:03:58,505 | 00:04:00,574 | What's your query, deary? | What's your query, deary? |
53 | 00:04:00,707 | 00:04:03,377 | Woman: Dr. Quinzel, last week you told a girl named Monica | Woman: Dr. Quinzel, last week you told a girl named Monica |
54 | 00:04:03,543 | 00:04:06,513 | to ignore her parent's wishes and go out with a guy named Stan. | to ignore her parent's wishes and go out with a guy named Stan. |
55 | 00:04:06,647 | 00:04:10,784 | I remember. Two sweet, crazy kids in love. | I remember. Two sweet, crazy kids in love. |
56 | 00:04:10,917 | 00:04:12,653 | - I'm Monica's mother! - Ehh! | - I'm Monica's mother! - Ehh! |
57 | 00:04:12,753 | 00:04:14,154 | Where do you come off telling her... | Where do you come off telling her... |
58 | 00:04:14,287 | 00:04:16,289 | Umm, heh, sorry, folks. | Umm, heh, sorry, folks. |
59 | 00:04:16,423 | 00:04:18,358 | Just some nutcase. | Just some nutcase. |
60 | 00:04:18,558 | 00:04:20,894 | [whispering] I told you to screen those calls. | [whispering] I told you to screen those calls. |
61 | 00:04:21,028 | 00:04:22,896 | We'll be right back. | We'll be right back. |
62 | 00:04:23,030 | 00:04:25,065 | Think loving thoughts. | Think loving thoughts. |
63 | 00:04:28,068 | 00:04:30,203 | Pop psychology at its worst. | Pop psychology at its worst. |
64 | 00:04:30,370 | 00:04:32,339 | That girl's theories are unfounded. | That girl's theories are unfounded. |
65 | 00:04:32,472 | 00:04:34,041 | Her professional manner's a joke. | Her professional manner's a joke. |
66 | 00:04:34,174 | 00:04:37,110 | And her training, if any, is shoddy at best. | And her training, if any, is shoddy at best. |
67 | 00:04:37,244 | 00:04:39,479 | I love this show! | I love this show! |
68 | 00:04:39,579 | 00:04:42,315 | The girl's more screw-loose than me! | The girl's more screw-loose than me! |
69 | 00:04:45,285 | 00:04:48,689 | Oh, Jimmy Herbert, Network Bigwig. | Oh, Jimmy Herbert, Network Bigwig. |
70 | 00:04:48,789 | 00:04:51,058 | What brings you to the set today? | What brings you to the set today? |
71 | 00:04:51,191 | 00:04:54,161 | Let me guess. In search of fashion advice? | Let me guess. In search of fashion advice? |
72 | 00:04:54,261 | 00:04:57,364 | Speaking of advice, what kind are you giving these people? | Speaking of advice, what kind are you giving these people? |
73 | 00:04:57,631 | 00:05:00,167 | Are you questioning me? | Are you questioning me? |
74 | 00:05:00,300 | 00:05:04,805 | Everyone who has an online degree in psychology, please raise your hand. | Everyone who has an online degree in psychology, please raise your hand. |
75 | 00:05:05,939 | 00:05:07,407 | Oh, okay. | Oh, okay. |
76 | 00:05:07,541 | 00:05:09,910 | Then, how about we let the professionals do their job. | Then, how about we let the professionals do their job. |
77 | 00:05:10,043 | 00:05:11,211 | Alright, hon? | Alright, hon? |
78 | 00:05:11,311 | 00:05:13,013 | This show is supposed to help people. | This show is supposed to help people. |
79 | 00:05:13,146 | 00:05:14,815 | You've turned it into a circus. | You've turned it into a circus. |
80 | 00:05:14,915 | 00:05:16,249 | I know! | I know! |
81 | 00:05:16,383 | 00:05:18,085 | And you wanna talk circus? | And you wanna talk circus? |
82 | 00:05:18,151 | 00:05:20,687 | Wait till you see my Valentine's Day special. | Wait till you see my Valentine's Day special. |
83 | 00:05:20,745 | 00:05:21,655 | Look. | Look. |
84 | 00:05:21,788 | 00:05:24,424 | There won't be a Valentine's Day special if you keep this-- | There won't be a Valentine's Day special if you keep this-- |
85 | 00:05:24,524 | 00:05:26,393 | Oopsies! Gotta get back. | Oopsies! Gotta get back. |
86 | 00:05:26,526 | 00:05:28,228 | Latersville. | Latersville. |
87 | 00:05:28,729 | 00:05:32,065 | Welcome back. I've got a real treat for you. | Welcome back. I've got a real treat for you. |
88 | 00:05:32,199 | 00:05:35,535 | An exclusive, very intimate one-on-one | An exclusive, very intimate one-on-one |
89 | 00:05:35,669 | 00:05:38,338 | with Gotham's most elusive bachelor... | with Gotham's most elusive bachelor... |
90 | 00:05:38,872 | 00:05:40,741 | ...Bruce Wayne! | ...Bruce Wayne! |
91 | 00:05:40,874 | 00:05:42,909 | [applause] | [applause] |
92 | 00:05:43,210 | 00:05:45,712 | Mmm, what's cookin', good-lookin'? | Mmm, what's cookin', good-lookin'? |
93 | 00:05:45,846 | 00:05:47,914 | - Well, Dr. Quinzel-- - Ah! | - Well, Dr. Quinzel-- - Ah! |
94 | 00:05:48,048 | 00:05:49,816 | - Oof. Uhh! - Call me Harley. | - Oof. Uhh! - Call me Harley. |
95 | 00:05:49,950 | 00:05:52,385 | - Everyone does. - Okay, Harley. | - Everyone does. - Okay, Harley. |
96 | 00:05:52,486 | 00:05:54,287 | I'd like to talk about the Wayne Foundation's | I'd like to talk about the Wayne Foundation's |
97 | 00:05:54,387 | 00:05:56,289 | Charity Drive for crime victims. | Charity Drive for crime victims. |
98 | 00:05:56,423 | 00:05:59,226 | Oh, civic-minded, too. | Oh, civic-minded, too. |
99 | 00:05:59,359 | 00:06:01,762 | But let's talk about your love life. | But let's talk about your love life. |
100 | 00:06:02,028 | 00:06:03,130 | Now, Harley. | Now, Harley. |
101 | 00:06:03,230 | 00:06:05,799 | You promised I'd have a chance to promote the charity drive. | You promised I'd have a chance to promote the charity drive. |
102 | 00:06:05,932 | 00:06:07,601 | [snoring] | [snoring] |
103 | 00:06:09,035 | 00:06:11,671 | We want the juice, Bruce. | We want the juice, Bruce. |
104 | 00:06:12,372 | 00:06:15,876 | This is your secret life, Bruce Wayne! | This is your secret life, Bruce Wayne! |
105 | 00:06:15,976 | 00:06:17,577 | [cheering] | [cheering] |
106 | 00:06:19,913 | 00:06:21,515 | [alarm ringing] | [alarm ringing] |
107 | 00:06:23,416 | 00:06:25,018 | [glass shatters] | [glass shatters] |
108 | 00:06:25,252 | 00:06:26,987 | - Uh-oh. - Bruce? | - Uh-oh. - Bruce? |
109 | 00:06:27,120 | 00:06:28,522 | Oh, yeah. | Oh, yeah. |
110 | 00:06:28,622 | 00:06:31,525 | You remember Kiki, don't you, Brucey? | You remember Kiki, don't you, Brucey? |
111 | 00:06:31,792 | 00:06:33,326 | [audience jeering] | [audience jeering] |
112 | 00:06:33,460 | 00:06:34,861 | Uucch! | Uucch! |
113 | 00:06:34,995 | 00:06:38,698 | Well, she remembers you and she's dishing the dirt! | Well, she remembers you and she's dishing the dirt! |
114 | 00:06:38,832 | 00:06:40,834 | [audience jeering] | [audience jeering] |
115 | 00:06:40,967 | 00:06:42,469 | He-heh. | He-heh. |
116 | 00:06:42,736 | 00:06:45,071 | He's faced some pretty nasty sneak-attacks | He's faced some pretty nasty sneak-attacks |
117 | 00:06:45,205 | 00:06:46,740 | but nothing like this. | but nothing like this. |
118 | 00:06:46,873 | 00:06:48,241 | We have to save him. | We have to save him. |
119 | 00:06:48,375 | 00:06:49,576 | It's too late, Robin. | It's too late, Robin. |
120 | 00:06:49,709 | 00:06:51,278 | There's nothing we can do. | There's nothing we can do. |
121 | 00:06:51,411 | 00:06:53,547 | So we're having a nice, dinner, and suddenly, he's all | So we're having a nice, dinner, and suddenly, he's all |
122 | 00:06:53,680 | 00:06:55,682 | "I have to see to some important business." | "I have to see to some important business." |
123 | 00:06:55,816 | 00:06:58,852 | Out Bruce Wayne runs, leaving me to pay the check. | Out Bruce Wayne runs, leaving me to pay the check. |
124 | 00:06:58,985 | 00:07:00,420 | [audience boos] | [audience boos] |
125 | 00:07:00,554 | 00:07:01,822 | [sobbing] | [sobbing] |
126 | 00:07:01,955 | 00:07:03,757 | Oh, terrible. | Oh, terrible. |
127 | 00:07:03,890 | 00:07:05,392 | Just terrible. | Just terrible. |
128 | 00:07:05,492 | 00:07:06,927 | [giggling] | [giggling] |
129 | 00:07:07,060 | 00:07:10,430 | About time someone stuck it to that rich oaf. | About time someone stuck it to that rich oaf. |
130 | 00:07:10,564 | 00:07:12,999 | How about we take some calls now? | How about we take some calls now? |
131 | 00:07:13,266 | 00:07:14,901 | [cellphone dials] | [cellphone dials] |
132 | 00:07:16,636 | 00:07:19,372 | Hi-hi, you're on "Heart-to-heart with Harley." | Hi-hi, you're on "Heart-to-heart with Harley." |
133 | 00:07:19,506 | 00:07:21,575 | Joker as Mr. J: Evening, Harley. Mr. J here. | Joker as Mr. J: Evening, Harley. Mr. J here. |
134 | 00:07:21,708 | 00:07:23,076 | Frequent watcher, frequent caller. | Frequent watcher, frequent caller. |
135 | 00:07:23,243 | 00:07:24,611 | Great show tonight! | Great show tonight! |
136 | 00:07:24,744 | 00:07:27,180 | Mr. J, my favorite caller. | Mr. J, my favorite caller. |
137 | 00:07:27,314 | 00:07:29,082 | Nice to hear from you again. | Nice to hear from you again. |
138 | 00:07:29,216 | 00:07:31,251 | Well, I just wanted to say men like Bruce Wayne | Well, I just wanted to say men like Bruce Wayne |
139 | 00:07:31,384 | 00:07:33,253 | deserve to be baked into a giant pie | deserve to be baked into a giant pie |
140 | 00:07:33,386 | 00:07:35,655 | and then launched into the side of a building. | and then launched into the side of a building. |
141 | 00:07:35,789 | 00:07:37,657 | Figuratively speaking, of course. | Figuratively speaking, of course. |
142 | 00:07:37,791 | 00:07:39,426 | [giggling] | [giggling] |
143 | 00:07:40,894 | 00:07:45,031 | Gotta say, your mind works in interesting ways, Mr. J. | Gotta say, your mind works in interesting ways, Mr. J. |
144 | 00:07:45,165 | 00:07:47,033 | I've had enough of this. I'm outta here. | I've had enough of this. I'm outta here. |
145 | 00:07:47,167 | 00:07:49,169 | Uh-oh. Hey! | Uh-oh. Hey! |
146 | 00:07:49,736 | 00:07:51,571 | Hold your horses, Brucey. | Hold your horses, Brucey. |
147 | 00:07:51,705 | 00:07:52,973 | We're not done yet. | We're not done yet. |
148 | 00:07:53,106 | 00:07:55,375 | Oh, yes, you are. I'm sorry, Mr. Wayne. | Oh, yes, you are. I'm sorry, Mr. Wayne. |
149 | 00:07:55,508 | 00:07:58,445 | Neither this woman nor this show will ever trouble you again. | Neither this woman nor this show will ever trouble you again. |
150 | 00:07:58,578 | 00:08:01,014 | You're no psychologist. You're a joke. | You're no psychologist. You're a joke. |
151 | 00:08:01,147 | 00:08:02,749 | - But-- - You're off the air! | - But-- - You're off the air! |
152 | 00:08:02,883 | 00:08:04,851 | Wha... No! | Wha... No! |
153 | 00:08:08,421 | 00:08:10,624 | Oh, the poor kid! Yanked in mid-show. | Oh, the poor kid! Yanked in mid-show. |
154 | 00:08:10,757 | 00:08:12,859 | She'll be an emotional wreck! | She'll be an emotional wreck! |
155 | 00:08:14,995 | 00:08:18,565 | Someone should take advantage of that. | Someone should take advantage of that. |
156 | 00:08:28,008 | 00:08:29,609 | Face it, Harley. | Face it, Harley. |
157 | 00:08:29,743 | 00:08:33,813 | No one's ever gonna take you seriously as a psychologist. | No one's ever gonna take you seriously as a psychologist. |
158 | 00:08:34,147 | 00:08:37,450 | They just can't see past my playful exterior. | They just can't see past my playful exterior. |
159 | 00:08:38,685 | 00:08:40,720 | Story of my life. | Story of my life. |
160 | 00:08:41,721 | 00:08:43,123 | [doorbell rings] | [doorbell rings] |
161 | 00:08:45,992 | 00:08:48,428 | - Hello? - Dr. Quinzel? | - Hello? - Dr. Quinzel? |
162 | 00:08:48,595 | 00:08:51,731 | Joker: Forgive the intrusion, but I just had to meet you. | Joker: Forgive the intrusion, but I just had to meet you. |
163 | 00:08:51,865 | 00:08:54,501 | I'm your number-one fan. | I'm your number-one fan. |
164 | 00:09:02,008 | 00:09:04,077 | I'm Mr. J. | I'm Mr. J. |
165 | 00:09:06,246 | 00:09:07,447 | Huh? | Huh? |
166 | 00:09:13,453 | 00:09:16,656 | Must admit, I'm surprised that you wanted to hang out. | Must admit, I'm surprised that you wanted to hang out. |
167 | 00:09:19,426 | 00:09:22,562 | Most ladies would find my lifestyle... eccentric. | Most ladies would find my lifestyle... eccentric. |
168 | 00:09:22,862 | 00:09:26,633 | Oh, I may act goofy on T.V., but I'm still a doctor. | Oh, I may act goofy on T.V., but I'm still a doctor. |
169 | 00:09:26,766 | 00:09:29,269 | Extreme personalities intrigue me. | Extreme personalities intrigue me. |
170 | 00:09:29,402 | 00:09:31,404 | And an extreme personality like yours | And an extreme personality like yours |
171 | 00:09:31,538 | 00:09:33,873 | might be the ticket to getting back my old show | might be the ticket to getting back my old show |
172 | 00:09:34,007 | 00:09:36,743 | and maybe finally some respect. | and maybe finally some respect. |
173 | 00:09:37,344 | 00:09:38,578 | Ohh. | Ohh. |
174 | 00:09:38,712 | 00:09:40,380 | So you're stringing old Mr. J along | So you're stringing old Mr. J along |
175 | 00:09:40,480 | 00:09:42,315 | just to write some tell-all book? | just to write some tell-all book? |
176 | 00:09:42,449 | 00:09:45,418 | I split the profits with you 50/50. | I split the profits with you 50/50. |
177 | 00:09:46,886 | 00:09:48,488 | Ahh-ha ha ha! | Ahh-ha ha ha! |
178 | 00:09:48,588 | 00:09:50,457 | You've got moxie. | You've got moxie. |
179 | 00:09:50,690 | 00:09:53,326 | I feed moxie to the hyenas. | I feed moxie to the hyenas. |
180 | 00:09:53,560 | 00:09:55,028 | [whistles] | [whistles] |
181 | 00:09:55,161 | 00:09:56,629 | [chittering] | [chittering] |
182 | 00:09:56,796 | 00:09:58,665 | [growling] | [growling] |
183 | 00:10:01,968 | 00:10:03,236 | [gasp] | [gasp] |
184 | 00:10:04,437 | 00:10:05,839 | Sit! | Sit! |
185 | 00:10:06,106 | 00:10:07,841 | [whimpering] | [whimpering] |
186 | 00:10:09,809 | 00:10:11,378 | You're good. | You're good. |
187 | 00:10:11,678 | 00:10:14,581 | Now, what do you say we sit down and, you know, | Now, what do you say we sit down and, you know, |
188 | 00:10:14,714 | 00:10:17,550 | have a heart-to-heart with Harley. | have a heart-to-heart with Harley. |
189 | 00:10:18,718 | 00:10:19,853 | Hmm. | Hmm. |
190 | 00:10:22,122 | 00:10:24,557 | Oh, where do I begin? | Oh, where do I begin? |
191 | 00:10:26,559 | 00:10:29,062 | I guess for as long as I remember, | I guess for as long as I remember, |
192 | 00:10:29,329 | 00:10:32,198 | I always wanted to make people laugh. | I always wanted to make people laugh. |
193 | 00:10:32,499 | 00:10:34,267 | I see. | I see. |
194 | 00:10:39,773 | 00:10:43,276 | The neighbors say they saw the doctor leave freely with Mr. J. | The neighbors say they saw the doctor leave freely with Mr. J. |
195 | 00:10:43,410 | 00:10:45,211 | Wonder what he could want with her? | Wonder what he could want with her? |
196 | 00:10:45,311 | 00:10:47,714 | He saw a vulnerable person he could manipulate. | He saw a vulnerable person he could manipulate. |
197 | 00:10:47,847 | 00:10:50,417 | Someone good for a few laughs, until he got bored. | Someone good for a few laughs, until he got bored. |
198 | 00:10:50,550 | 00:10:51,951 | And join us again next week | And join us again next week |
199 | 00:10:52,085 | 00:10:55,855 | when Batman analyzes the Freudian implications of Penguin's umbrella. | when Batman analyzes the Freudian implications of Penguin's umbrella. |
200 | 00:10:58,391 | 00:11:01,661 | [sniffles] It's bad enough the Network said | [sniffles] It's bad enough the Network said |
201 | 00:11:01,795 | 00:11:04,531 | I wasn't a real psychologist. | I wasn't a real psychologist. |
202 | 00:11:04,664 | 00:11:07,133 | They said I was a joke. | They said I was a joke. |
203 | 00:11:07,500 | 00:11:09,903 | I happen to like jokes. | I happen to like jokes. |
204 | 00:11:12,972 | 00:11:15,141 | Besides, there are worse names. | Besides, there are worse names. |
205 | 00:11:15,241 | 00:11:17,577 | I know. I've been called them. | I know. I've been called them. |
206 | 00:11:17,710 | 00:11:21,181 | Guess we have a few things in common, huh? | Guess we have a few things in common, huh? |
207 | 00:11:24,984 | 00:11:27,720 | You know what two sad sacks like us need? | You know what two sad sacks like us need? |
208 | 00:11:27,987 | 00:11:29,856 | A night on the town! | A night on the town! |
209 | 00:11:30,123 | 00:11:31,491 | I don't know. | I don't know. |
210 | 00:11:31,591 | 00:11:33,693 | That seems awfully unprofessional. | That seems awfully unprofessional. |
211 | 00:11:33,793 | 00:11:36,029 | Consider it research for your book. | Consider it research for your book. |
212 | 00:11:36,162 | 00:11:37,163 | But what if-- | But what if-- |
213 | 00:11:37,297 | 00:11:40,100 | You're seen associating with a certified criminal whack-job? | You're seen associating with a certified criminal whack-job? |
214 | 00:11:41,301 | 00:11:42,735 | A costume! | A costume! |
215 | 00:11:43,703 | 00:11:46,072 | That way, no one will know it's you. | That way, no one will know it's you. |
216 | 00:11:48,208 | 00:11:49,642 | Ha ha! | Ha ha! |
217 | 00:12:02,689 | 00:12:05,024 | Joker: Harleen Quinzel becomes | Joker: Harleen Quinzel becomes |
218 | 00:12:05,158 | 00:12:07,227 | Harley Quinn! | Harley Quinn! |
219 | 00:12:12,899 | 00:12:14,868 | [whistles] | [whistles] |
220 | 00:12:14,968 | 00:12:16,803 | [pants] | [pants] |
221 | 00:12:21,808 | 00:12:23,743 | ♪ Comb your hair and paint and powder ♪ | ♪ Comb your hair and paint and powder ♪ |
222 | 00:12:23,877 | 00:12:25,979 | ♪ You act proud and I'll act prouder ♪ | ♪ You act proud and I'll act prouder ♪ |
223 | 00:12:26,112 | 00:12:28,148 | ♪ You sing loud and I'll sing louder ♪ | ♪ You sing loud and I'll sing louder ♪ |
224 | 00:12:28,248 | 00:12:30,416 | ♪ Tonight we're setting the woods on fire ♪ | ♪ Tonight we're setting the woods on fire ♪ |
225 | 00:12:30,583 | 00:12:32,485 | ♪ You're my gal and I'm your feller ♪ | ♪ You're my gal and I'm your feller ♪ |
226 | 00:12:32,619 | 00:12:34,687 | ♪ Dressed up in your frock of yeller ♪ | ♪ Dressed up in your frock of yeller ♪ |
227 | 00:12:34,821 | 00:12:36,923 | ♪ I look swell but you look sweller ♪ | ♪ I look swell but you look sweller ♪ |
228 | 00:12:37,056 | 00:12:38,892 | ♪ Settin' the woods on fire ♪ | ♪ Settin' the woods on fire ♪ |
229 | 00:12:39,025 | 00:12:41,060 | ♪ We'll take in all the honky-tonks ♪ | ♪ We'll take in all the honky-tonks ♪ |
230 | 00:12:41,194 | 00:12:43,329 | ♪ Tonight we're havin' fun ♪ | ♪ Tonight we're havin' fun ♪ |
231 | 00:12:43,463 | 00:12:45,565 | ♪ We'll show the folks a brand-new dance ♪ | ♪ We'll show the folks a brand-new dance ♪ |
232 | 00:12:45,698 | 00:12:47,734 | ♪ That never has been done ha ♪ | ♪ That never has been done ha ♪ |
233 | 00:12:47,867 | 00:12:49,969 | ♪ I don't care who thinks we're silly ♪ | ♪ I don't care who thinks we're silly ♪ |
234 | 00:12:50,103 | 00:12:52,138 | ♪ You be Daffy and I'll be Dilly ♪ | ♪ You be Daffy and I'll be Dilly ♪ |
235 | 00:12:52,272 | 00:12:54,340 | ♪ We'll order up two bowls of chilly ♪ | ♪ We'll order up two bowls of chilly ♪ |
236 | 00:12:54,507 | 00:12:56,643 | ♪ Settin' the woods on fire ♪ | ♪ Settin' the woods on fire ♪ |
237 | 00:12:57,177 | 00:12:59,746 | ♪ La-la la la la la la la la la ♪ | ♪ La-la la la la la la la la la ♪ |
238 | 00:12:59,879 | 00:13:01,948 | ♪ La la la la la la la ♪ | ♪ La la la la la la la ♪ |
239 | 00:13:02,081 | 00:13:04,117 | ♪ La la la la la la la ♪ | ♪ La la la la la la la ♪ |
240 | 00:13:04,250 | 00:13:05,952 | ♪ La la la la la la la... ♪ | ♪ La la la la la la la... ♪ |
241 | 00:13:06,085 | 00:13:07,820 | [screaming] | [screaming] |
242 | 00:13:08,354 | 00:13:09,656 | Ha ha ha! | Ha ha ha! |
243 | 00:13:10,323 | 00:13:11,824 | ♪ La la la la ♪ | ♪ La la la la ♪ |
244 | 00:13:11,958 | 00:13:15,028 | ♪ La la la la la la la ha ♪ | ♪ La la la la la la la ha ♪ |
245 | 00:13:15,161 | 00:13:17,130 | ♪ I don't care who thinks we're silly ♪ | ♪ I don't care who thinks we're silly ♪ |
246 | 00:13:17,263 | 00:13:19,399 | ♪ You be Daffy and I'll be Dilly ♪ | ♪ You be Daffy and I'll be Dilly ♪ |
247 | 00:13:19,532 | 00:13:21,601 | ♪ We'll order up two bowls of chilly ♪ | ♪ We'll order up two bowls of chilly ♪ |
248 | 00:13:21,734 | 00:13:23,736 | ♪ Settin' the woods on fire ♪♪ | ♪ Settin' the woods on fire ♪♪ |
249 | 00:13:23,903 | 00:13:25,538 | [laughing] | [laughing] |
250 | 00:13:26,372 | 00:13:27,907 | No riders! | No riders! |
251 | 00:13:30,777 | 00:13:31,978 | Ooh! | Ooh! |
252 | 00:13:33,479 | 00:13:35,215 | Ha ha ha! | Ha ha ha! |
253 | 00:13:35,748 | 00:13:37,617 | Aaa-h-h-h! | Aaa-h-h-h! |
254 | 00:13:44,490 | 00:13:46,259 | - Ha ha ha! - Aah-h-h! | - Ha ha ha! - Aah-h-h! |
255 | 00:13:48,094 | 00:13:49,495 | Huh? What was that? | Huh? What was that? |
256 | 00:13:49,629 | 00:13:51,631 | Hi, folks. Don't mind us. | Hi, folks. Don't mind us. |
257 | 00:13:51,764 | 00:13:52,999 | Aah! | Aah! |
258 | 00:13:53,800 | 00:13:55,435 | Some fun, eh, kid? | Some fun, eh, kid? |
259 | 00:13:55,568 | 00:13:58,538 | Has anyone ever survived a night out with you? | Has anyone ever survived a night out with you? |
260 | 00:13:58,671 | 00:14:01,074 | There's a first time for everything. | There's a first time for everything. |
261 | 00:14:02,909 | 00:14:04,644 | Leave him alone! | Leave him alone! |
262 | 00:14:04,911 | 00:14:06,713 | Uhh. Aah! | Uhh. Aah! |
263 | 00:14:07,313 | 00:14:08,648 | Unh! | Unh! |
264 | 00:14:11,117 | 00:14:12,685 | Batman: Dr. Quinzel? | Batman: Dr. Quinzel? |
265 | 00:14:14,220 | 00:14:16,422 | Call me Harley Quinn. | Call me Harley Quinn. |
266 | 00:14:16,889 | 00:14:18,024 | What are you doing? | What are you doing? |
267 | 00:14:18,157 | 00:14:20,059 | - Joker's a psychopath. - Huh? | - Joker's a psychopath. - Huh? |
268 | 00:14:20,159 | 00:14:23,463 | Better than what you are. A third wheel. | Better than what you are. A third wheel. |
269 | 00:14:23,863 | 00:14:25,131 | Huh. | Huh. |
270 | 00:14:25,698 | 00:14:28,134 | Hold this for me, will you? Thanks. | Hold this for me, will you? Thanks. |
271 | 00:14:28,801 | 00:14:30,236 | - Aah! - Aah-ahh! | - Aah! - Aah-ahh! |
272 | 00:14:30,370 | 00:14:31,804 | Here's our floor! | Here's our floor! |
273 | 00:14:32,272 | 00:14:33,539 | Hu-ahh! | Hu-ahh! |
274 | 00:14:35,642 | 00:14:37,277 | Aa-h-h! | Aa-h-h! |
275 | 00:14:37,410 | 00:14:40,747 | Fear not. Salvation is at hand. | Fear not. Salvation is at hand. |
276 | 00:14:41,014 | 00:14:42,849 | Aa-h-h-h! | Aa-h-h-h! |
277 | 00:14:44,050 | 00:14:46,185 | A little trick I borrowed from Penguin. | A little trick I borrowed from Penguin. |
278 | 00:14:46,319 | 00:14:48,855 | Remind me to send him a fish. | Remind me to send him a fish. |
279 | 00:14:52,325 | 00:14:54,761 | Ahh-ha ha ha ha! | Ahh-ha ha ha ha! |
280 | 00:14:56,396 | 00:14:58,197 | [breathing heavily] | [breathing heavily] |
281 | 00:15:06,005 | 00:15:07,740 | Authorities are at a loss to explain | Authorities are at a loss to explain |
282 | 00:15:07,874 | 00:15:10,310 | how the diamond was stolen from the high-security vault | how the diamond was stolen from the high-security vault |
283 | 00:15:10,443 | 00:15:12,745 | and a police investigation is underway. | and a police investigation is underway. |
284 | 00:15:12,879 | 00:15:15,348 | In other news, there is still no official word | In other news, there is still no official word |
285 | 00:15:15,481 | 00:15:18,751 | on the bizarre transformation of Dr. Harleen Quinzel. | on the bizarre transformation of Dr. Harleen Quinzel. |
286 | 00:15:18,885 | 00:15:20,019 | Huh? | Huh? |
287 | 00:15:20,119 | 00:15:21,654 | According to eyewitness accounts, | According to eyewitness accounts, |
288 | 00:15:21,788 | 00:15:23,756 | the doctor has been sporting a new look | the doctor has been sporting a new look |
289 | 00:15:23,856 | 00:15:26,959 | while keeping time with Gotham's most wanted wacko. | while keeping time with Gotham's most wanted wacko. |
290 | 00:15:27,093 | 00:15:30,997 | Noted T.V psychologist Elliott Blaine offered this observation. | Noted T.V psychologist Elliott Blaine offered this observation. |
291 | 00:15:31,130 | 00:15:34,901 | It's no surprise that Dr. Quinzel jumped the track. | It's no surprise that Dr. Quinzel jumped the track. |
292 | 00:15:35,034 | 00:15:37,103 | She was a sad, needy person | She was a sad, needy person |
293 | 00:15:37,236 | 00:15:39,639 | who tried to fill the void in her own soul | who tried to fill the void in her own soul |
294 | 00:15:39,772 | 00:15:43,976 | by dispensing superficial relationship advice to others. | by dispensing superficial relationship advice to others. |
295 | 00:15:44,110 | 00:15:44,977 | What? | What? |
296 | 00:15:45,111 | 00:15:46,779 | I'll have a full profile | I'll have a full profile |
297 | 00:15:46,879 | 00:15:50,383 | of Dr. Quinzel tonight on my prime-time special. | of Dr. Quinzel tonight on my prime-time special. |
298 | 00:15:50,817 | 00:15:52,418 | Ar-r-r-h-h-h! | Ar-r-r-h-h-h! |
299 | 00:15:55,221 | 00:15:57,623 | Unh! You big phony! | Unh! You big phony! |
300 | 00:15:57,724 | 00:16:01,160 | That was supposed to be my Valentine's special! | That was supposed to be my Valentine's special! |
301 | 00:16:01,294 | 00:16:02,662 | Unh! | Unh! |
302 | 00:16:02,795 | 00:16:04,897 | Happy Valentine's Day, kid. | Happy Valentine's Day, kid. |
303 | 00:16:05,031 | 00:16:06,699 | I brought you something. | I brought you something. |
304 | 00:16:06,833 | 00:16:08,101 | What? | What? |
305 | 00:16:14,907 | 00:16:16,209 | Pretty. | Pretty. |
306 | 00:16:16,442 | 00:16:18,878 | Aww, I wanted to give you a present | Aww, I wanted to give you a present |
307 | 00:16:18,978 | 00:16:20,847 | for all the fun we've been having. | for all the fun we've been having. |
308 | 00:16:20,947 | 00:16:22,849 | What is it that you want? | What is it that you want? |
309 | 00:16:23,549 | 00:16:25,818 | Unh! That's what I want! | Unh! That's what I want! |
310 | 00:16:25,952 | 00:16:27,887 | To get even with those jerks. | To get even with those jerks. |
311 | 00:16:28,020 | 00:16:31,624 | I was trying to help people, and now I'm the bad guy? | I was trying to help people, and now I'm the bad guy? |
312 | 00:16:31,758 | 00:16:34,193 | More of an accomplice, actually. | More of an accomplice, actually. |
313 | 00:16:34,494 | 00:16:35,695 | Unh! | Unh! |
314 | 00:16:37,630 | 00:16:39,832 | They should all suffer. | They should all suffer. |
315 | 00:16:42,068 | 00:16:43,770 | Sounds like a hoot! | Sounds like a hoot! |
316 | 00:16:45,905 | 00:16:48,541 | What we have with Harleen Quinzel | What we have with Harleen Quinzel |
317 | 00:16:48,674 | 00:16:52,745 | is a textbook case of a woman deluded by a fantasy image | is a textbook case of a woman deluded by a fantasy image |
318 | 00:16:52,879 | 00:16:55,415 | of herself as a healer and caregiver. | of herself as a healer and caregiver. |
319 | 00:16:55,515 | 00:16:59,252 | Harley: Hey, doc! I've got a text-bookcase for ya! | Harley: Hey, doc! I've got a text-bookcase for ya! |
320 | 00:16:59,852 | 00:17:01,320 | Uhh! | Uhh! |
321 | 00:17:01,421 | 00:17:02,722 | [grunts] | [grunts] |
322 | 00:17:02,889 | 00:17:04,524 | [audience screaming] | [audience screaming] |
323 | 00:17:07,126 | 00:17:09,061 | Hi-hi, Gotham! | Hi-hi, Gotham! |
324 | 00:17:09,195 | 00:17:13,266 | Harley's back for this special farewell show. | Harley's back for this special farewell show. |
325 | 00:17:18,237 | 00:17:19,472 | Unh! | Unh! |
326 | 00:17:19,605 | 00:17:21,140 | [screaming] | [screaming] |
327 | 00:17:24,477 | 00:17:26,379 | [growling] | [growling] |
328 | 00:17:26,479 | 00:17:27,680 | [gasping] | [gasping] |
329 | 00:17:29,949 | 00:17:31,451 | Joker: Yoo-hoo. | Joker: Yoo-hoo. |
330 | 00:17:32,685 | 00:17:34,720 | Keep your seats, people. | Keep your seats, people. |
331 | 00:17:34,821 | 00:17:37,156 | The little lady's just warming up. | The little lady's just warming up. |
332 | 00:17:37,957 | 00:17:40,993 | Aww, that's right, puddin'. | Aww, that's right, puddin'. |
333 | 00:17:41,294 | 00:17:43,930 | I'm going to set the record straight | I'm going to set the record straight |
334 | 00:17:44,063 | 00:17:48,568 | then finish my broadcasting career with a big bang. | then finish my broadcasting career with a big bang. |
335 | 00:17:50,102 | 00:17:51,571 | - Let's go. - What? | - Let's go. - What? |
336 | 00:17:51,704 | 00:17:53,414 | We can't wait for the commercial? | We can't wait for the commercial? |
337 | 00:17:57,643 | 00:18:00,813 | So, you didn't like my show? | So, you didn't like my show? |
338 | 00:18:02,648 | 00:18:04,484 | Well, try this one. | Well, try this one. |
339 | 00:18:04,750 | 00:18:06,018 | [whistles] | [whistles] |
340 | 00:18:06,152 | 00:18:08,020 | [growling] | [growling] |
341 | 00:18:08,120 | 00:18:11,257 | When animals attack people I hate. | When animals attack people I hate. |
342 | 00:18:11,557 | 00:18:13,092 | It's a comedy. | It's a comedy. |
343 | 00:18:13,759 | 00:18:15,928 | [chittering] | [chittering] |
344 | 00:18:16,229 | 00:18:18,264 | Huh! Hah! | Huh! Hah! |
345 | 00:18:19,866 | 00:18:22,335 | You're cancelled. Again. | You're cancelled. Again. |
346 | 00:18:23,369 | 00:18:24,937 | Ar-r-r-r. | Ar-r-r-r. |
347 | 00:18:32,612 | 00:18:33,813 | Huh! | Huh! |
348 | 00:18:36,883 | 00:18:38,885 | Aww, thanks, sweetie. | Aww, thanks, sweetie. |
349 | 00:18:39,018 | 00:18:42,288 | Now drag her outside and Joker gas her or something. | Now drag her outside and Joker gas her or something. |
350 | 00:18:42,421 | 00:18:44,891 | You ordering me around? | You ordering me around? |
351 | 00:18:44,991 | 00:18:46,759 | Don't go too far. | Don't go too far. |
352 | 00:18:46,893 | 00:18:49,996 | I've indulged you only because it amused me. | I've indulged you only because it amused me. |
353 | 00:18:50,129 | 00:18:51,631 | Yes, sir. | Yes, sir. |
354 | 00:18:53,266 | 00:18:55,635 | Hee hee hee. You little imp. | Hee hee hee. You little imp. |
355 | 00:18:55,768 | 00:18:57,737 | I could never stay mad at you. | I could never stay mad at you. |
356 | 00:18:58,905 | 00:19:00,740 | [giggling] | [giggling] |
357 | 00:19:02,875 | 00:19:04,143 | Uh-oh. | Uh-oh. |
358 | 00:19:05,077 | 00:19:06,445 | - Ugh! - Aah! | - Ugh! - Aah! |
359 | 00:19:06,579 | 00:19:08,614 | Uhh, uhh. Ah! | Uhh, uhh. Ah! |
360 | 00:19:10,514 | 00:19:11,851 | - Uhh. - Uhh. | - Uhh. - Uhh. |
361 | 00:19:11,984 | 00:19:13,452 | Rr-r-r-r! | Rr-r-r-r! |
362 | 00:19:13,586 | 00:19:15,221 | - Uhh. - Don't move. | - Uhh. - Don't move. |
363 | 00:19:15,421 | 00:19:16,789 | Very funny. | Very funny. |
364 | 00:19:16,923 | 00:19:19,525 | Unh! Aah! | Unh! Aah! |
365 | 00:19:19,659 | 00:19:22,595 | You bats won't pull the plug on my special. | You bats won't pull the plug on my special. |
366 | 00:19:24,297 | 00:19:25,998 | [screaming] | [screaming] |
367 | 00:19:29,068 | 00:19:30,503 | What have you done? | What have you done? |
368 | 00:19:30,636 | 00:19:33,072 | They sent me down in flames. | They sent me down in flames. |
369 | 00:19:33,205 | 00:19:35,508 | So I'm returning the favor. | So I'm returning the favor. |
370 | 00:19:35,641 | 00:19:37,777 | Ehh-ha ha ha! | Ehh-ha ha ha! |
371 | 00:19:38,878 | 00:19:42,481 | There are three more bombs planted around this building. | There are three more bombs planted around this building. |
372 | 00:19:42,615 | 00:19:46,986 | Once they go, all Gotham broadcasting comes tumblin' down! | Once they go, all Gotham broadcasting comes tumblin' down! |
373 | 00:19:47,119 | 00:19:49,021 | Show the man, Harley! | Show the man, Harley! |
374 | 00:19:51,123 | 00:19:52,224 | Ahh! | Ahh! |
375 | 00:19:52,358 | 00:19:53,626 | Not gonna happen. | Not gonna happen. |
376 | 00:19:54,126 | 00:19:55,461 | Uh-unh. | Uh-unh. |
377 | 00:19:56,896 | 00:19:57,964 | Unh. | Unh. |
378 | 00:19:59,432 | 00:20:00,733 | Ya-a-h-h! | Ya-a-h-h! |
379 | 00:20:04,337 | 00:20:06,238 | I'm okay. Help the audience. | I'm okay. Help the audience. |
380 | 00:20:06,372 | 00:20:07,406 | Unh! | Unh! |
381 | 00:20:07,506 | 00:20:09,408 | [screaming] | [screaming] |
382 | 00:20:14,614 | 00:20:15,748 | Unh. | Unh. |
383 | 00:20:17,984 | 00:20:19,452 | This way, people. | This way, people. |
384 | 00:20:24,156 | 00:20:25,591 | Time to make tracks, boys. | Time to make tracks, boys. |
385 | 00:20:25,691 | 00:20:26,826 | [whistling] | [whistling] |
386 | 00:20:26,926 | 00:20:28,260 | [hyena chittering] | [hyena chittering] |
387 | 00:20:32,598 | 00:20:34,367 | So long, little Harley Quinn. | So long, little Harley Quinn. |
388 | 00:20:34,433 | 00:20:35,701 | It's been fun! | It's been fun! |
389 | 00:20:35,768 | 00:20:37,169 | [metal creaking] | [metal creaking] |
390 | 00:20:39,639 | 00:20:41,240 | [giggling] | [giggling] |
391 | 00:20:54,153 | 00:20:56,022 | [sirens] | [sirens] |
392 | 00:20:59,058 | 00:21:01,694 | The Joker doesn't care about anyone but himself. | The Joker doesn't care about anyone but himself. |
393 | 00:21:01,827 | 00:21:03,996 | He never has, and he never will. | He never has, and he never will. |
394 | 00:21:04,230 | 00:21:07,400 | You'd think a psychologist would know better. | You'd think a psychologist would know better. |
395 | 00:21:17,743 | 00:21:18,944 | Huh? | Huh? |
396 | 00:21:21,514 | 00:21:22,715 | Huh? | Huh? |
397 | 00:21:27,653 | 00:21:30,423 | [squeals] Ha ha ha! | [squeals] Ha ha ha! |
398 | 00:21:34,093 | 00:21:35,861 | [giggling continues] | [giggling continues] |
399 | 00:21:35,961 | 00:21:38,631 | [laughter] | [laughter] |
400 | 00:21:44,904 | 00:21:47,106 | [theme music] | [theme music] |