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# | Start | End | Original | Translated |
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1 | 00:00:01,877 | 00:00:03,497 | [crowd booing] | [crowd booing] |
2 | 00:00:03,586 | 00:00:05,706 | [whistle blows] | [whistle blows] |
3 | 00:00:06,507 | 00:00:07,967 | [Arlo] You're hearing AFC Richmond | [Arlo] You're hearing AFC Richmond |
4 | 00:00:08,050 | 00:00:10,180 | being booed lustily by their home fans, | being booed lustily by their home fans, |
5 | 00:00:10,260 | 00:00:13,470 | and you have to say, not without good reason. | and you have to say, not without good reason. |
6 | 00:00:13,972 | 00:00:15,812 | 2-0. We're better than that! | 2-0. We're better than that! |
7 | 00:00:16,683 | 00:00:20,193 | Jamie. Jamie. Sorry, I didn't put that cross where you wanted it. | Jamie. Jamie. Sorry, I didn't put that cross where you wanted it. |
8 | 00:00:21,104 | 00:00:22,114 | Ah. Forget it, mate. | Ah. Forget it, mate. |
9 | 00:00:22,189 | 00:00:24,689 | Hey, would it be too forward if I gave you some advice | Hey, would it be too forward if I gave you some advice |
10 | 00:00:24,775 | 00:00:26,735 | that might help improve your game a bit? | that might help improve your game a bit? |
11 | 00:00:26,818 | 00:00:27,818 | No. Please, anything. | No. Please, anything. |
12 | 00:00:27,903 | 00:00:31,283 | What you need to do is get yourself a time machine, and go back to the moment | What you need to do is get yourself a time machine, and go back to the moment |
13 | 00:00:31,365 | 00:00:34,485 | when your mom was about to fuck a sad little man with no athletic talent. | when your mom was about to fuck a sad little man with no athletic talent. |
14 | 00:00:34,576 | 00:00:39,246 | Pull her off him, fly her to Argentina, and drop her onto Maradona's cock. | Pull her off him, fly her to Argentina, and drop her onto Maradona's cock. |
15 | 00:00:41,124 | 00:00:42,334 | Hope that helps, mate. | Hope that helps, mate. |
16 | 00:00:43,252 | 00:00:44,502 | Right, that's it. | Right, that's it. |
17 | 00:00:45,212 | 00:00:47,012 | I'm done with you being a prick to everyone. | I'm done with you being a prick to everyone. |
18 | 00:00:47,589 | 00:00:48,759 | Ooh. | Ooh. |
19 | 00:00:48,841 | 00:00:53,511 | So, either I beat up an old man, or I let an old man beat me up. | So, either I beat up an old man, or I let an old man beat me up. |
20 | 00:00:56,557 | 00:00:57,557 | Fuck it. Let's go. | Fuck it. Let's go. |
21 | 00:00:58,016 | 00:01:00,096 | [Roy] Fucking-- [indistinct shouting] | [Roy] Fucking-- [indistinct shouting] |
22 | 00:01:00,185 | 00:01:02,975 | -Hey, hey, hey! -[players shouting] | -Hey, hey, hey! -[players shouting] |
23 | 00:01:03,647 | 00:01:05,267 | Easy, easy, easy now! | Easy, easy, easy now! |
24 | 00:01:05,357 | 00:01:07,357 | Coach, tell these boys what the first rule of my fight club is. | Coach, tell these boys what the first rule of my fight club is. |
25 | 00:01:07,442 | 00:01:10,322 | -No fight club! -No fight club. Okay? You understand? | -No fight club! -No fight club. Okay? You understand? |
26 | 00:01:11,029 | 00:01:14,199 | For the love of Pistol Pete, y'all. We still got a second half to play. | For the love of Pistol Pete, y'all. We still got a second half to play. |
27 | 00:01:14,283 | 00:01:16,123 | Now, please, sit down. Everybody. | Now, please, sit down. Everybody. |
28 | 00:01:18,579 | 00:01:20,079 | Gaffer saved you, old man. | Gaffer saved you, old man. |
29 | 00:01:24,209 | 00:01:25,589 | Call me old... | Call me old... |
30 | 00:01:26,879 | 00:01:27,879 | one more time. | one more time. |
31 | 00:01:27,963 | 00:01:29,763 | [player takes deep breath] | [player takes deep breath] |
32 | 00:01:32,050 | 00:01:33,050 | Sorry... | Sorry... |
33 | 00:01:34,678 | 00:01:35,888 | granddad. | granddad. |
34 | 00:01:35,971 | 00:01:38,601 | -I'll fucking kill you! -[all shouting] | -I'll fucking kill you! -[all shouting] |
35 | 00:01:38,682 | 00:01:40,772 | [theme music plays] | [theme music plays] |
36 | 00:02:00,871 | 00:02:06,341 | Table four is done and shall from now on be known as the boring table. | Table four is done and shall from now on be known as the boring table. |
37 | 00:02:06,960 | 00:02:08,790 | But that's where I'm sitting. | But that's where I'm sitting. |
38 | 00:02:08,878 | 00:02:09,878 | Oh. | Oh. |
39 | 00:02:09,963 | 00:02:13,763 | Ugh. I haven't placed Elaine Kenner. Awful woman. | Ugh. I haven't placed Elaine Kenner. Awful woman. |
40 | 00:02:13,842 | 00:02:17,262 | She won't be attending tonight. She was kicked in the face by her horse. | She won't be attending tonight. She was kicked in the face by her horse. |
41 | 00:02:17,346 | 00:02:19,426 | Oh. That poor thing. Is the horse okay? | Oh. That poor thing. Is the horse okay? |
42 | 00:02:20,557 | 00:02:22,807 | -[whistle blows] -[Ted] Mm-mm-mm. | -[whistle blows] -[Ted] Mm-mm-mm. |
43 | 00:02:23,352 | 00:02:25,852 | Looks like we still got ourselves a team divided here. | Looks like we still got ourselves a team divided here. |
44 | 00:02:26,522 | 00:02:28,272 | Coach, you know what I'm thinkin' about right now? | Coach, you know what I'm thinkin' about right now? |
45 | 00:02:28,357 | 00:02:30,727 | -West Side Story? -You know it. Sharks and Jets. | -West Side Story? -You know it. Sharks and Jets. |
46 | 00:02:30,817 | 00:02:31,817 | You think these fellas | You think these fellas |
47 | 00:02:31,902 | 00:02:34,702 | could solve their problems with a dance-off at a gymnasium? [chuckles] | could solve their problems with a dance-off at a gymnasium? [chuckles] |
48 | 00:02:34,780 | 00:02:36,410 | Course, if memory serves, | Course, if memory serves, |
49 | 00:02:36,490 | 00:02:40,040 | Riff and Bernardo ended up getting knifed to death at that particular event. | Riff and Bernardo ended up getting knifed to death at that particular event. |
50 | 00:02:40,118 | 00:02:42,328 | No, they didn't die until the rumble afterwards. | No, they didn't die until the rumble afterwards. |
51 | 00:02:42,412 | 00:02:43,502 | Oh, right. Right, right, right. | Oh, right. Right, right, right. |
52 | 00:02:43,580 | 00:02:45,580 | When I was 15, I was understudy for Anita. | When I was 15, I was understudy for Anita. |
53 | 00:02:46,667 | 00:02:48,917 | -All-boys school. -Hmm. | -All-boys school. -Hmm. |
54 | 00:02:49,002 | 00:02:51,712 | We have peeled yet another juicy layer of the Nathan onion. | We have peeled yet another juicy layer of the Nathan onion. |
55 | 00:02:52,130 | 00:02:54,380 | -[Rebecca] Coach Beard! -Uh-oh. | -[Rebecca] Coach Beard! -Uh-oh. |
56 | 00:02:54,466 | 00:02:58,796 | For dinner tonight, it's either chicken or steak! | For dinner tonight, it's either chicken or steak! |
57 | 00:02:58,887 | 00:03:00,347 | You can't tick both! | You can't tick both! |
58 | 00:03:00,848 | 00:03:01,968 | Okay! | Okay! |
59 | 00:03:02,057 | 00:03:03,477 | Busted. | Busted. |
60 | 00:03:03,559 | 00:03:04,689 | And Ted! | And Ted! |
61 | 00:03:04,768 | 00:03:05,938 | Uh-oh. | Uh-oh. |
62 | 00:03:06,019 | 00:03:09,309 | -Yeah! -I need to know who your plus-one is! | -Yeah! -I need to know who your plus-one is! |
63 | 00:03:09,398 | 00:03:12,188 | Oh, well, that'd be, uh, Mr. Two Entrées here. | Oh, well, that'd be, uh, Mr. Two Entrées here. |
64 | 00:03:12,276 | 00:03:14,946 | No, he's already bringing a date! | No, he's already bringing a date! |
65 | 00:03:18,073 | 00:03:19,323 | Hey, you free tonight? | Hey, you free tonight? |
66 | 00:03:19,700 | 00:03:21,910 | -Oh, I'm free every night, yeah. -Okay. | -Oh, I'm free every night, yeah. -Okay. |
67 | 00:03:21,994 | 00:03:24,124 | -I'm gonna bring Nathan! -Who? | -I'm gonna bring Nathan! -Who? |
68 | 00:03:24,496 | 00:03:26,616 | Nate the Great! He's gonna be my date! | Nate the Great! He's gonna be my date! |
69 | 00:03:26,707 | 00:03:29,587 | And for obvious reasons, we'd love to be at table eight! | And for obvious reasons, we'd love to be at table eight! |
70 | 00:03:30,294 | 00:03:31,304 | No! | No! |
71 | 00:03:31,879 | 00:03:33,459 | And Beard, you're having chicken! | And Beard, you're having chicken! |
72 | 00:03:37,092 | 00:03:38,512 | -[knocking] -[Ted] Hey, boss. | -[knocking] -[Ted] Hey, boss. |
73 | 00:03:38,594 | 00:03:40,644 | Ooh! Pajama Friday? Wish I woulda known. | Ooh! Pajama Friday? Wish I woulda known. |
74 | 00:03:40,721 | 00:03:42,641 | Oh, you're gonna get a kick outta this story. | Oh, you're gonna get a kick outta this story. |
75 | 00:03:42,723 | 00:03:44,933 | -When I was 17-- -Ted, let me just stop you there | -When I was 17-- -Ted, let me just stop you there |
76 | 00:03:45,017 | 00:03:47,387 | before you tell me a folksy anecdote about you and pajamas. | before you tell me a folksy anecdote about you and pajamas. |
77 | 00:03:47,477 | 00:03:49,307 | Okay. When you change your mind, just let me know, | Okay. When you change your mind, just let me know, |
78 | 00:03:49,396 | 00:03:51,186 | 'cause this one is a doozy. | 'cause this one is a doozy. |
79 | 00:03:51,773 | 00:03:53,863 | Sorry, was there anything you needed? 'Cause I'm really-- | Sorry, was there anything you needed? 'Cause I'm really-- |
80 | 00:03:53,942 | 00:03:56,992 | I was wondering if me, Roy and Jamie could all sit at the same table tonight. | I was wondering if me, Roy and Jamie could all sit at the same table tonight. |
81 | 00:03:57,070 | 00:03:58,070 | -Is that possible? -Yes. | -Is that possible? -Yes. |
82 | 00:03:58,155 | 00:04:00,945 | Great! 'Cause I got some fences I need to mend, and I think that might do the trick. | Great! 'Cause I got some fences I need to mend, and I think that might do the trick. |
83 | 00:04:01,033 | 00:04:02,953 | -Ted, I just said yes. -Right. | -Ted, I just said yes. -Right. |
84 | 00:04:03,785 | 00:04:06,115 | Oh, God, that one's absolutely beautiful, but... | Oh, God, that one's absolutely beautiful, but... |
85 | 00:04:07,456 | 00:04:09,366 | I don't think I can get away with that anymore. | I don't think I can get away with that anymore. |
86 | 00:04:09,458 | 00:04:11,378 | Sure you could. Fashion's all about confidence. | Sure you could. Fashion's all about confidence. |
87 | 00:04:11,460 | 00:04:14,420 | If I didn't have any confidence, I never would've worn pajamas to my prom | If I didn't have any confidence, I never would've worn pajamas to my prom |
88 | 00:04:14,505 | 00:04:15,875 | and ended up in jail the rest of that night. | and ended up in jail the rest of that night. |
89 | 00:04:15,964 | 00:04:17,844 | But you don't wanna hear that story, so I ain't gonna tell it. | But you don't wanna hear that story, so I ain't gonna tell it. |
90 | 00:04:17,925 | 00:04:19,175 | You know what? I'll get outta your hair. | You know what? I'll get outta your hair. |
91 | 00:04:19,259 | 00:04:21,799 | You're probably all revved up because of the big shindig, right? | You're probably all revved up because of the big shindig, right? |
92 | 00:04:21,887 | 00:04:23,307 | No, no, no. I'm absolutely fine. | No, no, no. I'm absolutely fine. |
93 | 00:04:23,388 | 00:04:26,138 | I mean, even when Rupert and I were running the gala together, | I mean, even when Rupert and I were running the gala together, |
94 | 00:04:26,225 | 00:04:28,055 | I did most of the work myself. | I did most of the work myself. |
95 | 00:04:28,143 | 00:04:29,603 | So, uh, I'm not revved up at all. | So, uh, I'm not revved up at all. |
96 | 00:04:29,686 | 00:04:32,556 | I'm actually, really, feeling quite mellow. | I'm actually, really, feeling quite mellow. |
97 | 00:04:32,648 | 00:04:34,858 | Good afternoon. We have a huge problem. | Good afternoon. We have a huge problem. |
98 | 00:04:34,942 | 00:04:37,822 | Our musical guest, Robbie Williams, has canceled. | Our musical guest, Robbie Williams, has canceled. |
99 | 00:04:37,903 | 00:04:38,903 | God! | God! |
100 | 00:04:38,987 | 00:04:40,107 | Oh, no. Who is that? | Oh, no. Who is that? |
101 | 00:04:40,197 | 00:04:44,947 | No, no, no. That's absolutely fine. It's not a problem. Let me just think. | No, no, no. That's absolutely fine. It's not a problem. Let me just think. |
102 | 00:04:45,035 | 00:04:47,195 | All right, here's what we're going to do, Higgins. | All right, here's what we're going to do, Higgins. |
103 | 00:04:47,287 | 00:04:50,367 | Tonight, when I tell everyone that Robbie has canceled, | Tonight, when I tell everyone that Robbie has canceled, |
104 | 00:04:50,457 | 00:04:54,087 | by then it won't matter because you will have found someone better. | by then it won't matter because you will have found someone better. |
105 | 00:04:54,461 | 00:04:56,171 | -There ya are. -Right. | -There ya are. -Right. |
106 | 00:04:56,255 | 00:05:00,085 | I am a world-class problem solver. | I am a world-class problem solver. |
107 | 00:05:00,175 | 00:05:03,545 | There it is. Oh. You got it. Oh. Catch it! Yep! Ho! Look at that! | There it is. Oh. You got it. Oh. Catch it! Yep! Ho! Look at that! |
108 | 00:05:04,555 | 00:05:06,135 | You got this, Higgins! | You got this, Higgins! |
109 | 00:05:06,223 | 00:05:08,183 | And Rebecca's grateful for all your hard work! | And Rebecca's grateful for all your hard work! |
110 | 00:05:08,267 | 00:05:09,267 | [Higgins] Thank you, Ted! | [Higgins] Thank you, Ted! |
111 | 00:05:14,982 | 00:05:15,982 | Mm. | Mm. |
112 | 00:05:16,984 | 00:05:18,494 | No. I hate it, babe. | No. I hate it, babe. |
113 | 00:05:18,569 | 00:05:21,779 | It's just not me. There's no hood, no zips. | It's just not me. There's no hood, no zips. |
114 | 00:05:21,864 | 00:05:23,034 | There's no graffiti. | There's no graffiti. |
115 | 00:05:25,409 | 00:05:26,489 | No graffiti. | No graffiti. |
116 | 00:05:27,077 | 00:05:29,037 | Mad. I look like a banker. | Mad. I look like a banker. |
117 | 00:05:29,121 | 00:05:31,581 | Not with trousers that tight around the crotch, you don't. | Not with trousers that tight around the crotch, you don't. |
118 | 00:05:31,665 | 00:05:34,285 | Fine. I look like a banker with a great cock. | Fine. I look like a banker with a great cock. |
119 | 00:05:34,376 | 00:05:36,456 | Babe, if those existed, we wouldn't be together. | Babe, if those existed, we wouldn't be together. |
120 | 00:05:37,713 | 00:05:39,423 | [Jamie scoffs] Whatever. | [Jamie scoffs] Whatever. |
121 | 00:05:39,840 | 00:05:40,840 | [Keeley] Okay. | [Keeley] Okay. |
122 | 00:05:40,924 | 00:05:44,724 | Look, you're gonna get more endorsements when you start embracing high fashion. | Look, you're gonna get more endorsements when you start embracing high fashion. |
123 | 00:05:44,803 | 00:05:46,563 | I'm just trying to help build up your brand. | I'm just trying to help build up your brand. |
124 | 00:05:47,681 | 00:05:49,391 | Jamie, no. What are you doing? | Jamie, no. What are you doing? |
125 | 00:05:49,474 | 00:05:50,684 | I'm doing... | I'm doing... |
126 | 00:05:51,852 | 00:05:52,902 | style. | style. |
127 | 00:05:53,770 | 00:05:57,150 | Yeah, people don't know it, but I'm good at this fashion shit. | Yeah, people don't know it, but I'm good at this fashion shit. |
128 | 00:05:57,232 | 00:05:59,612 | -Are you? -Yeah, I'm like a progeny. | -Are you? -Yeah, I'm like a progeny. |
129 | 00:05:59,985 | 00:06:01,025 | Oh, yeah? | Oh, yeah? |
130 | 00:06:01,820 | 00:06:03,320 | Oi. Down, boy. | Oi. Down, boy. |
131 | 00:06:04,239 | 00:06:05,409 | -[panting] -Mm-hmm. | -[panting] -Mm-hmm. |
132 | 00:06:05,490 | 00:06:07,240 | That's a good boy. Find the treat, yeah. | That's a good boy. Find the treat, yeah. |
133 | 00:06:09,828 | 00:06:11,158 | Hey, hon. | Hey, hon. |
134 | 00:06:11,246 | 00:06:14,366 | Shoot, I was hoping I'd catch ya. Uh, got your message. | Shoot, I was hoping I'd catch ya. Uh, got your message. |
135 | 00:06:14,458 | 00:06:17,458 | Playing a little phone tag, it appears. And you are now it. | Playing a little phone tag, it appears. And you are now it. |
136 | 00:06:17,961 | 00:06:19,711 | Um-- Oh, hey. Guess what. | Um-- Oh, hey. Guess what. |
137 | 00:06:19,796 | 00:06:21,966 | I'm wearing the suit you told me I should bring. | I'm wearing the suit you told me I should bring. |
138 | 00:06:22,049 | 00:06:24,469 | You were right, as always. [chuckles] | You were right, as always. [chuckles] |
139 | 00:06:24,551 | 00:06:29,521 | Uh, yeah. Okay, so, uh, that's it. I love-- I miss ya. | Uh, yeah. Okay, so, uh, that's it. I love-- I miss ya. |
140 | 00:06:29,598 | 00:06:32,138 | And, uh, just go ahead and give the little guy a squeeze for me. | And, uh, just go ahead and give the little guy a squeeze for me. |
141 | 00:06:32,226 | 00:06:33,636 | I'll talk to you soon. Bye. | I'll talk to you soon. Bye. |
142 | 00:06:33,727 | 00:06:35,347 | [playing rock music] | [playing rock music] |
143 | 00:06:35,771 | 00:06:37,401 | Hey. All right, now. | Hey. All right, now. |
144 | 00:06:37,481 | 00:06:39,151 | Gotta love a troubadour. | Gotta love a troubadour. |
145 | 00:06:39,233 | 00:06:40,323 | Here we go. | Here we go. |
146 | 00:06:41,985 | 00:06:43,945 | Holy moly, look at you. Whoo! | Holy moly, look at you. Whoo! |
147 | 00:06:44,029 | 00:06:45,489 | -Hope I'm not too early. -No. | -Hope I'm not too early. -No. |
148 | 00:06:45,572 | 00:06:47,372 | Or too late. I was trying to go for somewhere in between. | Or too late. I was trying to go for somewhere in between. |
149 | 00:06:47,449 | 00:06:49,279 | Yeah, no. You threaded that needle perfectly, Nate. | Yeah, no. You threaded that needle perfectly, Nate. |
150 | 00:06:49,368 | 00:06:50,538 | -Oh, good. -Yeah, nailed it. | -Oh, good. -Yeah, nailed it. |
151 | 00:06:51,119 | 00:06:52,789 | Hey, let me ask you something. | Hey, let me ask you something. |
152 | 00:06:52,871 | 00:06:55,211 | Are you one of those guys that likes it if your friends tell you | Are you one of those guys that likes it if your friends tell you |
153 | 00:06:55,290 | 00:06:58,210 | -you got a piece of food in your teeth? -Oh, absolutely, yeah. | -you got a piece of food in your teeth? -Oh, absolutely, yeah. |
154 | 00:06:58,293 | 00:07:01,053 | Okay, good. 'Cause that suit does not fit at all. | Okay, good. 'Cause that suit does not fit at all. |
155 | 00:07:01,129 | 00:07:02,549 | -Really? -Yeah. | -Really? -Yeah. |
156 | 00:07:02,631 | 00:07:05,761 | [groans] I was gonna buy one, but, you know, they're so expensive. | [groans] I was gonna buy one, but, you know, they're so expensive. |
157 | 00:07:05,843 | 00:07:07,683 | -I just thought I'd borrow my dad's. -Oh, I hear ya. | -I just thought I'd borrow my dad's. -Oh, I hear ya. |
158 | 00:07:08,262 | 00:07:10,432 | Hey. We'll make a little pit stop. Come on, follow me. | Hey. We'll make a little pit stop. Come on, follow me. |
159 | 00:07:10,514 | 00:07:11,354 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
160 | 00:07:14,476 | 00:07:15,686 | [photographers clamoring] | [photographers clamoring] |
161 | 00:07:16,812 | 00:07:18,862 | What you lookin' at? Hmm? Hmm? | What you lookin' at? Hmm? Hmm? |
162 | 00:07:18,939 | 00:07:22,439 | You boys all right? How's my suit? All good? Yeah? | You boys all right? How's my suit? All good? Yeah? |
163 | 00:07:22,526 | 00:07:23,736 | This is great. [laughs] | This is great. [laughs] |
164 | 00:07:23,819 | 00:07:26,489 | Hey, uh, thank you, guys, so much for taking my picture. | Hey, uh, thank you, guys, so much for taking my picture. |
165 | 00:07:26,572 | 00:07:28,822 | -What are your names? -[clamoring] | -What are your names? -[clamoring] |
166 | 00:07:28,907 | 00:07:31,237 | So you're Jerry, and you're Dave. | So you're Jerry, and you're Dave. |
167 | 00:07:31,326 | 00:07:33,196 | What you all came for. | What you all came for. |
168 | 00:07:33,287 | 00:07:35,707 | Left eyebrow. Right eyebrow. | Left eyebrow. Right eyebrow. |
169 | 00:07:36,331 | 00:07:37,541 | Confused look. | Confused look. |
170 | 00:07:39,126 | 00:07:41,126 | Yeah, now for the one that you'll actually use. | Yeah, now for the one that you'll actually use. |
171 | 00:07:41,211 | 00:07:43,011 | [photographer] That's it, darling. How about a kiss? | [photographer] That's it, darling. How about a kiss? |
172 | 00:07:46,466 | 00:07:47,756 | [Keeley chuckles] | [Keeley chuckles] |
173 | 00:07:47,843 | 00:07:50,053 | -Romance is not dead. -Guys, sorry, sorry. I just-- | -Romance is not dead. -Guys, sorry, sorry. I just-- |
174 | 00:07:50,137 | 00:07:51,757 | -Gonna let them take a picture. -Oh, yeah. Yeah. | -Gonna let them take a picture. -Oh, yeah. Yeah. |
175 | 00:07:51,847 | 00:07:53,267 | I just need to get inside. Okay. | I just need to get inside. Okay. |
176 | 00:07:53,891 | 00:07:55,731 | [photographer 2] Rebecca, over here! | [photographer 2] Rebecca, over here! |
177 | 00:07:55,809 | 00:07:57,849 | -[photographer 3] Nice, ladies. -Rebecca, over here! | -[photographer 3] Nice, ladies. -Rebecca, over here! |
178 | 00:07:57,936 | 00:07:59,976 | -[photographer 3] You look perfect. -[photographer 2] Now, look to your left. | -[photographer 3] You look perfect. -[photographer 2] Now, look to your left. |
179 | 00:08:00,063 | 00:08:01,063 | I hate this part. | I hate this part. |
180 | 00:08:01,148 | 00:08:03,278 | -[photographer 3] Miss Welton. -[photographer 2] Lovely. Nice. | -[photographer 3] Miss Welton. -[photographer 2] Lovely. Nice. |
181 | 00:08:03,358 | 00:08:04,688 | Hey. | Hey. |
182 | 00:08:04,776 | 00:08:06,736 | Just put one foot in front of the other, yeah? | Just put one foot in front of the other, yeah? |
183 | 00:08:06,820 | 00:08:09,780 | And then put your hand on your hip and make, like, a claw shape. | And then put your hand on your hip and make, like, a claw shape. |
184 | 00:08:10,324 | 00:08:11,534 | It's the most flattering. | It's the most flattering. |
185 | 00:08:12,701 | 00:08:14,451 | -Rebecca, give us a smile. -Rebecca! | -Rebecca, give us a smile. -Rebecca! |
186 | 00:08:14,536 | 00:08:16,036 | [photographers clamoring] | [photographers clamoring] |
187 | 00:08:16,121 | 00:08:17,581 | [shutters clicking] | [shutters clicking] |
188 | 00:08:17,664 | 00:08:20,294 | Aw, look at her. She's fucking fit! | Aw, look at her. She's fucking fit! |
189 | 00:08:20,375 | 00:08:22,285 | [laughs] | [laughs] |
190 | 00:08:22,377 | 00:08:24,957 | [jazz music playing] | [jazz music playing] |
191 | 00:08:30,886 | 00:08:33,046 | [music continues] | [music continues] |
192 | 00:08:34,222 | 00:08:36,182 | Don't strut. Let the suit do the work. | Don't strut. Let the suit do the work. |
193 | 00:08:39,727 | 00:08:40,897 | Yoo-hoo. | Yoo-hoo. |
194 | 00:08:41,813 | 00:08:44,023 | Ted Lasso. My God. | Ted Lasso. My God. |
195 | 00:08:44,107 | 00:08:45,227 | Right back at ya, boss. | Right back at ya, boss. |
196 | 00:08:45,317 | 00:08:47,317 | I had a hunch you were gonna pick this dress. | I had a hunch you were gonna pick this dress. |
197 | 00:08:47,402 | 00:08:49,322 | And may I say, you are wearing the heck out of it. | And may I say, you are wearing the heck out of it. |
198 | 00:08:49,821 | 00:08:50,821 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
199 | 00:08:50,906 | 00:08:53,276 | Check out Nate. Looking pretty dapper himself, huh? | Check out Nate. Looking pretty dapper himself, huh? |
200 | 00:08:53,367 | 00:08:54,487 | Great to see you again. | Great to see you again. |
201 | 00:08:54,576 | 00:08:56,366 | -Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. | -Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. |
202 | 00:08:57,579 | 00:08:59,999 | -If you'll both excuse me. -[Ted] Absolutely, yeah. Go do your thing. | -If you'll both excuse me. -[Ted] Absolutely, yeah. Go do your thing. |
203 | 00:09:01,500 | 00:09:03,500 | Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Look, there's Beard over there. | Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Look, there's Beard over there. |
204 | 00:09:03,919 | 00:09:05,839 | -That's his new gal, Jane. -[Nathan] Oh. | -That's his new gal, Jane. -[Nathan] Oh. |
205 | 00:09:05,921 | 00:09:08,341 | Yeah, they met at his Friday night chess club. | Yeah, they met at his Friday night chess club. |
206 | 00:09:08,423 | 00:09:10,223 | Apparently, they liked each other's moves. | Apparently, they liked each other's moves. |
207 | 00:09:10,300 | 00:09:11,840 | [chuckles] | [chuckles] |
208 | 00:09:12,803 | 00:09:13,973 | Oh, that wasn't a joke. | Oh, that wasn't a joke. |
209 | 00:09:14,054 | 00:09:15,064 | Was it not? | Was it not? |
210 | 00:09:15,556 | 00:09:16,556 | Oh, I guess it kinda was. | Oh, I guess it kinda was. |
211 | 00:09:16,640 | 00:09:21,560 | -[photographers clamoring] -No. No. Fuck off. Fuck you. No. No. | -[photographers clamoring] -No. No. Fuck off. Fuck you. No. No. |
212 | 00:09:22,521 | 00:09:23,521 | Yeah, I know. | Yeah, I know. |
213 | 00:09:27,109 | 00:09:29,439 | This is gonna be so uncomfortable. | This is gonna be so uncomfortable. |
214 | 00:09:29,528 | 00:09:32,658 | -I'm switching tables. -No, no, no. Hey. Come on back here. | -I'm switching tables. -No, no, no. Hey. Come on back here. |
215 | 00:09:32,739 | 00:09:33,779 | This is my doing. | This is my doing. |
216 | 00:09:33,866 | 00:09:36,076 | I parent trapped y'all. Take a seat. | I parent trapped y'all. Take a seat. |
217 | 00:09:38,662 | 00:09:41,832 | Now, listen. You two knuckleheads have split our locker room in half. | Now, listen. You two knuckleheads have split our locker room in half. |
218 | 00:09:41,915 | 00:09:43,455 | And when it comes to locker rooms, | And when it comes to locker rooms, |
219 | 00:09:43,542 | 00:09:45,542 | I like 'em just like my mother's bathing suits. | I like 'em just like my mother's bathing suits. |
220 | 00:09:45,627 | 00:09:47,417 | I only wanna see 'em in one piece, you hear? | I only wanna see 'em in one piece, you hear? |
221 | 00:09:47,504 | 00:09:48,714 | So we're fixing this. | So we're fixing this. |
222 | 00:09:48,797 | 00:09:50,797 | Tell me what's the biggest issue you got with each other. Go. | Tell me what's the biggest issue you got with each other. Go. |
223 | 00:09:50,883 | 00:09:52,053 | He's a piece of shit. | He's a piece of shit. |
224 | 00:09:52,134 | 00:09:54,804 | If his brain was on fire, I wouldn't piss in his ear. | If his brain was on fire, I wouldn't piss in his ear. |
225 | 00:09:54,887 | 00:09:57,217 | Well, hey. You don't need to be best friends to be great teammates. | Well, hey. You don't need to be best friends to be great teammates. |
226 | 00:09:57,306 | 00:10:00,386 | Think about Shaq and Kobe, right? Lennon and McCartney. | Think about Shaq and Kobe, right? Lennon and McCartney. |
227 | 00:10:00,475 | 00:10:02,685 | Heck, even Woody and Buzz got under each other's plastic. | Heck, even Woody and Buzz got under each other's plastic. |
228 | 00:10:02,769 | 00:10:03,939 | Wasn't Woody made out of cloth? | Wasn't Woody made out of cloth? |
229 | 00:10:04,021 | 00:10:06,111 | I appreciate you, Nate, but now's not the time. | I appreciate you, Nate, but now's not the time. |
230 | 00:10:06,773 | 00:10:08,983 | You know what all those dynamic duos had in common? | You know what all those dynamic duos had in common? |
231 | 00:10:09,067 | 00:10:10,147 | Mutual respect. | Mutual respect. |
232 | 00:10:10,777 | 00:10:13,857 | Y'all gotta find some common ground. So who wants to get the ball rollin'? | Y'all gotta find some common ground. So who wants to get the ball rollin'? |
233 | 00:10:13,947 | 00:10:15,197 | I do. | I do. |
234 | 00:10:16,074 | 00:10:20,204 | Nate, that's a very nice suit. I think you look chic. | Nate, that's a very nice suit. I think you look chic. |
235 | 00:10:20,287 | 00:10:24,457 | Oh, thank you. It's actually only the second suit I've ever owned. | Oh, thank you. It's actually only the second suit I've ever owned. |
236 | 00:10:24,541 | 00:10:27,591 | The first one was my suit when I was a naked baby. | The first one was my suit when I was a naked baby. |
237 | 00:10:31,215 | 00:10:33,125 | Sorry, it's funny when Ted says it. I-- | Sorry, it's funny when Ted says it. I-- |
238 | 00:10:33,217 | 00:10:34,547 | Well, the term "birthday suit" | Well, the term "birthday suit" |
239 | 00:10:34,635 | 00:10:36,675 | -woulda helped you a ton there, yeah. -Oh, God, yeah. | -woulda helped you a ton there, yeah. -Oh, God, yeah. |
240 | 00:10:36,762 | 00:10:39,352 | Come on, let's try this again, all right? Hey, Jamie. You wanna go? | Come on, let's try this again, all right? Hey, Jamie. You wanna go? |
241 | 00:10:39,431 | 00:10:40,971 | -Pass. -[chuckles] | -Pass. -[chuckles] |
242 | 00:10:41,850 | 00:10:43,390 | -Roy. -He's a piece of shit. | -Roy. -He's a piece of shit. |
243 | 00:10:43,477 | 00:10:45,517 | You're gonna stick with that, huh? Okay. | You're gonna stick with that, huh? Okay. |
244 | 00:10:45,604 | 00:10:47,984 | Here's an idea that's gonna help a little or hurt a whole lot. | Here's an idea that's gonna help a little or hurt a whole lot. |
245 | 00:10:48,065 | 00:10:49,185 | Who needs a drink? | Who needs a drink? |
246 | 00:10:53,237 | 00:10:54,567 | [Higgins inhales] | [Higgins inhales] |
247 | 00:10:54,655 | 00:10:56,155 | Any progress with the musical guest? | Any progress with the musical guest? |
248 | 00:10:56,240 | 00:10:57,780 | I've talked to a number of agents | I've talked to a number of agents |
249 | 00:10:57,866 | 00:11:01,826 | and made a fairly extensive list of those who cannot make it. | and made a fairly extensive list of those who cannot make it. |
250 | 00:11:01,912 | 00:11:03,752 | Process of elimination. We're on our way. | Process of elimination. We're on our way. |
251 | 00:11:07,000 | 00:11:08,170 | Hey, there she is. | Hey, there she is. |
252 | 00:11:09,586 | 00:11:11,046 | Oh, you're working on your speech, huh? | Oh, you're working on your speech, huh? |
253 | 00:11:11,755 | 00:11:15,375 | Rupert was always very good at the public speaking part. | Rupert was always very good at the public speaking part. |
254 | 00:11:15,467 | 00:11:16,887 | Hey, here's a little trick of the trade. | Hey, here's a little trick of the trade. |
255 | 00:11:16,969 | 00:11:20,429 | Just make fun of yourself right off the bat, a little joke. | Just make fun of yourself right off the bat, a little joke. |
256 | 00:11:20,514 | 00:11:21,524 | Folks will love that. | Folks will love that. |
257 | 00:11:21,598 | 00:11:24,388 | Okay, so, what should I make fun of myself about? | Okay, so, what should I make fun of myself about? |
258 | 00:11:24,476 | 00:11:28,516 | [inhales] Right, right, right. [stammers] Um... | [inhales] Right, right, right. [stammers] Um... |
259 | 00:11:30,732 | 00:11:35,152 | You know-- You know what would be, uh-- No. Okay. | You know-- You know what would be, uh-- No. Okay. |
260 | 00:11:35,237 | 00:11:37,237 | You're not gonna walk into that one, are you, Ted? | You're not gonna walk into that one, are you, Ted? |
261 | 00:11:37,322 | 00:11:39,492 | No, ma'am. Nope, nope, nope. Okay. | No, ma'am. Nope, nope, nope. Okay. |
262 | 00:11:40,951 | 00:11:42,161 | Good luck though. | Good luck though. |
263 | 00:11:43,453 | 00:11:46,673 | Oh, oh, oh. You know what? I thought of something. No, no, no. | Oh, oh, oh. You know what? I thought of something. No, no, no. |
264 | 00:11:47,457 | 00:11:49,997 | -Queen to rook four. -Ooh. | -Queen to rook four. -Ooh. |
265 | 00:11:50,085 | 00:11:52,335 | Wait, are y'all playing a game without a board? | Wait, are y'all playing a game without a board? |
266 | 00:11:53,547 | 00:11:56,007 | [whispering] Sorry to interrupt. My fault. Sorry. Carry on. | [whispering] Sorry to interrupt. My fault. Sorry. Carry on. |
267 | 00:11:57,634 | 00:11:59,644 | -Knight to king five. -[chuckles] | -Knight to king five. -[chuckles] |
268 | 00:12:00,429 | 00:12:01,429 | [Coach Beard chuckles] | [Coach Beard chuckles] |
269 | 00:12:01,513 | 00:12:03,563 | [cheers, applause] | [cheers, applause] |
270 | 00:12:04,600 | 00:12:05,770 | Good evening, | Good evening, |
271 | 00:12:05,851 | 00:12:10,651 | and welcome to the Tenth Annual Benefit for Underprivileged Children. | and welcome to the Tenth Annual Benefit for Underprivileged Children. |
272 | 00:12:11,064 | 00:12:15,614 | If I could hug each of you as a thank you for your kind donations, well... | If I could hug each of you as a thank you for your kind donations, well... |
273 | 00:12:16,528 | 00:12:19,568 | I probably wouldn't because, as we all know, I'm not much of a hugger. | I probably wouldn't because, as we all know, I'm not much of a hugger. |
274 | 00:12:19,656 | 00:12:21,576 | [guests laughing] | [guests laughing] |
275 | 00:12:21,658 | 00:12:25,828 | Now, I do hope you've all brought your checkbooks with you for our auction later. | Now, I do hope you've all brought your checkbooks with you for our auction later. |
276 | 00:12:25,913 | 00:12:31,843 | Because you can all bid on our very own Richmond players. | Because you can all bid on our very own Richmond players. |
277 | 00:12:31,919 | 00:12:33,839 | -[chuckles] -[guests cheer] | -[chuckles] -[guests cheer] |
278 | 00:12:34,296 | 00:12:39,716 | Same rule as always, no hanky-panky unless the player signs a waiver. | Same rule as always, no hanky-panky unless the player signs a waiver. |
279 | 00:12:39,801 | 00:12:40,801 | [guests laughing] | [guests laughing] |
280 | 00:12:41,470 | 00:12:42,470 | Rupert? | Rupert? |
281 | 00:12:43,847 | 00:12:44,887 | Hello, darling. | Hello, darling. |
282 | 00:12:44,973 | 00:12:47,813 | What a... lovely surprise. | What a... lovely surprise. |
283 | 00:12:47,893 | 00:12:49,903 | Oh. Weren't you expecting me? | Oh. Weren't you expecting me? |
284 | 00:12:51,396 | 00:12:53,146 | Only 'cause you RSVP'd no. | Only 'cause you RSVP'd no. |
285 | 00:12:53,232 | 00:12:56,492 | Well, one of the perks of being a wealthy good-for-nothing. | Well, one of the perks of being a wealthy good-for-nothing. |
286 | 00:12:56,568 | 00:12:59,778 | Sometimes my nights just magically free up. | Sometimes my nights just magically free up. |
287 | 00:12:59,863 | 00:13:02,823 | -[guests laugh] -Ooh. May I? Thank you. | -[guests laugh] -Ooh. May I? Thank you. |
288 | 00:13:03,575 | 00:13:09,365 | Gals and gents, with your help, we raised £800,000 last year. | Gals and gents, with your help, we raised £800,000 last year. |
289 | 00:13:09,456 | 00:13:11,456 | [cheers, applause] | [cheers, applause] |
290 | 00:13:11,542 | 00:13:14,292 | And this year, hopefully even more. | And this year, hopefully even more. |
291 | 00:13:14,378 | 00:13:18,508 | Well, I know I'm crashing your party, but I so badly wanna help. | Well, I know I'm crashing your party, but I so badly wanna help. |
292 | 00:13:18,590 | 00:13:21,300 | My fingers and toes are crossed that you will have me. | My fingers and toes are crossed that you will have me. |
293 | 00:13:21,385 | 00:13:22,385 | Of course. | Of course. |
294 | 00:13:23,136 | 00:13:24,886 | Uh, let's get him a seat at the boring table. | Uh, let's get him a seat at the boring table. |
295 | 00:13:24,972 | 00:13:27,272 | -Oh-ho! [chuckles] -[Rebecca] Only joking. | -Oh-ho! [chuckles] -[Rebecca] Only joking. |
296 | 00:13:27,349 | 00:13:29,599 | Table four. Rupert Mannion, everyone. | Table four. Rupert Mannion, everyone. |
297 | 00:13:29,685 | 00:13:32,435 | [cheering] | [cheering] |
298 | 00:13:37,067 | 00:13:38,147 | Thanks, doll. | Thanks, doll. |
299 | 00:13:44,199 | 00:13:45,529 | Oh, my God. | Oh, my God. |
300 | 00:13:46,535 | 00:13:48,035 | -Thank you. -Oh, that-- | -Thank you. -Oh, that-- |
301 | 00:13:48,120 | 00:13:51,420 | -[Isaac laughs] -Nathe, Nathe, Nathe. Come on. | -[Isaac laughs] -Nathe, Nathe, Nathe. Come on. |
302 | 00:13:51,498 | 00:13:53,458 | Look, guys, this is a brand-new suit. | Look, guys, this is a brand-new suit. |
303 | 00:13:53,542 | 00:13:56,212 | Rather than messing with me tonight, can you just get me two times tomorrow? | Rather than messing with me tonight, can you just get me two times tomorrow? |
304 | 00:13:56,295 | 00:13:57,835 | Roy said we're not allowed anymore. | Roy said we're not allowed anymore. |
305 | 00:13:57,921 | 00:14:00,761 | He fucking headbutted me. I'm still dizzy half the time. | He fucking headbutted me. I'm still dizzy half the time. |
306 | 00:14:00,841 | 00:14:02,471 | The doctors told me not to drink. | The doctors told me not to drink. |
307 | 00:14:05,846 | 00:14:08,676 | [slurps] Ah! Shit. | [slurps] Ah! Shit. |
308 | 00:14:08,765 | 00:14:10,475 | Yet another reason shirts exist. | Yet another reason shirts exist. |
309 | 00:14:10,559 | 00:14:13,479 | Shut up, it's not funny. Burned my nipple. | Shut up, it's not funny. Burned my nipple. |
310 | 00:14:13,562 | 00:14:16,272 | [gasps] I wish I was that ice cube. | [gasps] I wish I was that ice cube. |
311 | 00:14:17,024 | 00:14:20,154 | Mm? I will be bidding for a night with you. | Mm? I will be bidding for a night with you. |
312 | 00:14:20,527 | 00:14:22,357 | Oh. Thanks, love. Uh-- | Oh. Thanks, love. Uh-- |
313 | 00:14:22,446 | 00:14:25,986 | Yeah, it's, um, it's just a date though. It's not a whole night. So... | Yeah, it's, um, it's just a date though. It's not a whole night. So... |
314 | 00:14:26,074 | 00:14:27,914 | We'll see. [chuckles] | We'll see. [chuckles] |
315 | 00:14:28,577 | 00:14:29,747 | Mate, I've done these before. | Mate, I've done these before. |
316 | 00:14:29,828 | 00:14:32,618 | If she bids over 3,000, you will have to fuck her. | If she bids over 3,000, you will have to fuck her. |
317 | 00:14:32,706 | 00:14:34,166 | [Keeley chuckles] | [Keeley chuckles] |
318 | 00:14:34,249 | 00:14:36,539 | -Is that true? -You don't have to go all the way. | -Is that true? -You don't have to go all the way. |
319 | 00:14:37,336 | 00:14:38,876 | Just, like, some of the way. | Just, like, some of the way. |
320 | 00:14:39,630 | 00:14:40,800 | Fingering. | Fingering. |
321 | 00:14:42,925 | 00:14:44,965 | [laughs] | [laughs] |
322 | 00:14:45,052 | 00:14:46,722 | Fuck you. Fuck this table. | Fuck you. Fuck this table. |
323 | 00:14:47,346 | 00:14:49,056 | Jamie, it was a joke. | Jamie, it was a joke. |
324 | 00:14:49,431 | 00:14:51,771 | It was a joke. Jamie. | It was a joke. Jamie. |
325 | 00:14:53,477 | 00:14:54,597 | What happened now? | What happened now? |
326 | 00:14:55,771 | 00:14:59,111 | Just the usual. Jamie being a little bitch prima donna. | Just the usual. Jamie being a little bitch prima donna. |
327 | 00:15:00,901 | 00:15:02,441 | Roy, let me ask you something. | Roy, let me ask you something. |
328 | 00:15:02,528 | 00:15:04,148 | What were you like when you were 23? | What were you like when you were 23? |
329 | 00:15:04,696 | 00:15:06,656 | Playing in this league, making all that money. | Playing in this league, making all that money. |
330 | 00:15:08,033 | 00:15:10,293 | -Little bitch prima donna. -Yeah. | -Little bitch prima donna. -Yeah. |
331 | 00:15:10,911 | 00:15:13,831 | You know how they say that "youth is wasted on the young"? | You know how they say that "youth is wasted on the young"? |
332 | 00:15:15,582 | 00:15:18,672 | Well, I say don't let the wisdom of age be wasted on you. | Well, I say don't let the wisdom of age be wasted on you. |
333 | 00:15:20,087 | 00:15:21,127 | [Rebecca] Ted? | [Rebecca] Ted? |
334 | 00:15:23,465 | 00:15:26,215 | I just came up with that. I feel pretty good about it. | I just came up with that. I feel pretty good about it. |
335 | 00:15:32,599 | 00:15:35,059 | I just wanted to say thanks for talking to Colin and Isaac. | I just wanted to say thanks for talking to Colin and Isaac. |
336 | 00:15:35,143 | 00:15:36,773 | Why is your face so close to mine? | Why is your face so close to mine? |
337 | 00:15:36,854 | 00:15:39,944 | Well, my initial plan was to hug you, but I just chickened out just now. | Well, my initial plan was to hug you, but I just chickened out just now. |
338 | 00:15:40,774 | 00:15:41,784 | Right. | Right. |
339 | 00:15:46,280 | 00:15:47,950 | -Okay, we're done. -Yeah. | -Okay, we're done. -Yeah. |
340 | 00:15:48,031 | 00:15:50,281 | [Rupert laughs] | [Rupert laughs] |
341 | 00:15:50,367 | 00:15:52,907 | Ted, I'd like to introduce you to Rupert Mannion. | Ted, I'd like to introduce you to Rupert Mannion. |
342 | 00:15:52,995 | 00:15:55,535 | -Mr. Mannion, how are you? -Oh. It's Rupert, Ted. | -Mr. Mannion, how are you? -Oh. It's Rupert, Ted. |
343 | 00:15:55,622 | 00:15:58,252 | Especially for the man who's managing my club. | Especially for the man who's managing my club. |
344 | 00:15:59,293 | 00:16:00,503 | Used to be your club. | Used to be your club. |
345 | 00:16:00,586 | 00:16:04,086 | Oh, of course, of course, but... it's still my club in here, love. | Oh, of course, of course, but... it's still my club in here, love. |
346 | 00:16:04,882 | 00:16:06,802 | Love of a sports team is a lifetime obsession. | Love of a sports team is a lifetime obsession. |
347 | 00:16:06,884 | 00:16:07,724 | -[Rupert] Yeah. -Yeah. | -[Rupert] Yeah. -Yeah. |
348 | 00:16:07,801 | 00:16:09,551 | Kinda like your best friend's older sister, right? | Kinda like your best friend's older sister, right? |
349 | 00:16:09,928 | 00:16:10,928 | Hey, but do me a favor. | Hey, but do me a favor. |
350 | 00:16:11,013 | 00:16:13,723 | If you're ever in Kansas City and come across a fella named Tom Dineen, | If you're ever in Kansas City and come across a fella named Tom Dineen, |
351 | 00:16:13,807 | 00:16:15,017 | don't tell him I said that. | don't tell him I said that. |
352 | 00:16:15,100 | 00:16:16,940 | [Rupert laughs] | [Rupert laughs] |
353 | 00:16:17,019 | 00:16:18,769 | I love that. | I love that. |
354 | 00:16:19,646 | 00:16:22,066 | I don't love our last two losses though. | I don't love our last two losses though. |
355 | 00:16:22,149 | 00:16:23,399 | -Horrible showing. -Yeah. | -Horrible showing. -Yeah. |
356 | 00:16:23,483 | 00:16:24,783 | [Rupert] Had to say it, wish I didn't. | [Rupert] Had to say it, wish I didn't. |
357 | 00:16:24,860 | 00:16:27,700 | It's okay. Who knows? Maybe we'll turn it around, huh? | It's okay. Who knows? Maybe we'll turn it around, huh? |
358 | 00:16:28,405 | 00:16:31,115 | Oh, my God. I believe you. | Oh, my God. I believe you. |
359 | 00:16:31,200 | 00:16:32,280 | Do you believe him? | Do you believe him? |
360 | 00:16:35,662 | 00:16:38,002 | Night's gonna take a turn for the worse if you say no. | Night's gonna take a turn for the worse if you say no. |
361 | 00:16:38,081 | 00:16:40,251 | [chuckles] Of course I believe in Ted. | [chuckles] Of course I believe in Ted. |
362 | 00:16:41,210 | 00:16:42,960 | He's exactly what we've needed. | He's exactly what we've needed. |
363 | 00:16:44,671 | 00:16:46,381 | Not too much champagne now, dear. | Not too much champagne now, dear. |
364 | 00:16:46,465 | 00:16:48,505 | Gotta stay sharp for the auction. | Gotta stay sharp for the auction. |
365 | 00:16:49,635 | 00:16:50,795 | Why don't you do the auction? | Why don't you do the auction? |
366 | 00:16:51,512 | 00:16:53,312 | No, I couldn't. This is your night. | No, I couldn't. This is your night. |
367 | 00:16:53,388 | 00:16:56,268 | -We both know they'd rather see you. -[Rupert chuckles] | -We both know they'd rather see you. -[Rupert chuckles] |
368 | 00:16:56,350 | 00:16:59,140 | And besides, it's... for the children. | And besides, it's... for the children. |
369 | 00:16:59,853 | 00:17:01,063 | For the children. | For the children. |
370 | 00:17:04,107 | 00:17:06,607 | Right. If you'll excuse me, I need to speak to the other guests. | Right. If you'll excuse me, I need to speak to the other guests. |
371 | 00:17:07,027 | 00:17:08,687 | I must say, I love that dress. | I must say, I love that dress. |
372 | 00:17:09,112 | 00:17:10,112 | Oh. | Oh. |
373 | 00:17:10,196 | 00:17:11,316 | It's very youthful. | It's very youthful. |
374 | 00:17:12,156 | 00:17:14,656 | Good for you for getting back out there looking like that. | Good for you for getting back out there looking like that. |
375 | 00:17:15,743 | 00:17:16,743 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
376 | 00:17:19,122 | 00:17:20,122 | Excuse me. | Excuse me. |
377 | 00:17:20,874 | 00:17:21,924 | Ted. | Ted. |
378 | 00:17:22,334 | 00:17:24,554 | It's been a hard year for her. Is she okay? | It's been a hard year for her. Is she okay? |
379 | 00:17:24,627 | 00:17:26,167 | -Oh, yeah, she's great. -Mm. | -Oh, yeah, she's great. -Mm. |
380 | 00:17:26,255 | 00:17:29,585 | You know, a lot of moving pieces putting together a thing like this though. | You know, a lot of moving pieces putting together a thing like this though. |
381 | 00:17:30,342 | 00:17:34,012 | And then she had this fella... Robbie Williams cancel on her and-- | And then she had this fella... Robbie Williams cancel on her and-- |
382 | 00:17:34,096 | 00:17:35,096 | -Robbie? -Yeah. | -Robbie? -Yeah. |
383 | 00:17:35,180 | 00:17:36,930 | -Well, he's an old pal of mine. -Mm. | -Well, he's an old pal of mine. -Mm. |
384 | 00:17:37,015 | 00:17:39,845 | I'm happy to text him. I bet you I can get his ass over here. | I'm happy to text him. I bet you I can get his ass over here. |
385 | 00:17:40,227 | 00:17:41,847 | I-- I bet she'd love it. | I-- I bet she'd love it. |
386 | 00:17:42,437 | 00:17:45,227 | I'll go, uh, track her down and, uh, run it up the flagpole, huh? | I'll go, uh, track her down and, uh, run it up the flagpole, huh? |
387 | 00:17:45,983 | 00:17:47,823 | I'm sorry. That's an expression from back home. | I'm sorry. That's an expression from back home. |
388 | 00:17:47,901 | 00:17:50,861 | -Just means I'm gonna ask her. -Fabulous. Showtime. | -Just means I'm gonna ask her. -Fabulous. Showtime. |
389 | 00:17:50,946 | 00:17:52,156 | All right, go get 'em. | All right, go get 'em. |
390 | 00:17:52,781 | 00:17:55,531 | Can I get something stronger, like a Jack on the rocks or something? | Can I get something stronger, like a Jack on the rocks or something? |
391 | 00:17:55,617 | 00:17:58,367 | A double and a single in one. A triple. | A double and a single in one. A triple. |
392 | 00:17:58,453 | 00:17:59,793 | [guests tapping glasses] | [guests tapping glasses] |
393 | 00:17:59,872 | 00:18:03,002 | Ladies and gentlemen, slight change in plans. | Ladies and gentlemen, slight change in plans. |
394 | 00:18:03,083 | 00:18:07,173 | I have been cajoled into being your auctioneer for this evening. | I have been cajoled into being your auctioneer for this evening. |
395 | 00:18:07,254 | 00:18:09,384 | [cheering] | [cheering] |
396 | 00:18:09,464 | 00:18:13,434 | And our first victim is Jamie Tartt. | And our first victim is Jamie Tartt. |
397 | 00:18:17,055 | 00:18:18,385 | Babe, you have to win me. | Babe, you have to win me. |
398 | 00:18:18,473 | 00:18:20,523 | I can't bid on my own boyfriend. I'll look pathetic. | I can't bid on my own boyfriend. I'll look pathetic. |
399 | 00:18:20,601 | 00:18:22,521 | Babe, it's 2020. Women can do anything. | Babe, it's 2020. Women can do anything. |
400 | 00:18:22,603 | 00:18:25,113 | No, it's not happening. Come on, you look hot. Go up there! | No, it's not happening. Come on, you look hot. Go up there! |
401 | 00:18:25,189 | 00:18:29,689 | Look at him, folks. Young, gorgeous, charming. The bastard. | Look at him, folks. Young, gorgeous, charming. The bastard. |
402 | 00:18:29,776 | 00:18:32,646 | -[guests laugh] -So, we'll start with £5,000. | -[guests laugh] -So, we'll start with £5,000. |
403 | 00:18:32,738 | 00:18:34,318 | I want him, Rupert. | I want him, Rupert. |
404 | 00:18:34,406 | 00:18:37,616 | Ooh. Five thousand from Cheryl Barnaby. | Ooh. Five thousand from Cheryl Barnaby. |
405 | 00:18:37,701 | 00:18:40,331 | Richmond's premier breeder of Shetland ponies. | Richmond's premier breeder of Shetland ponies. |
406 | 00:18:40,412 | 00:18:42,162 | Do we hear six? | Do we hear six? |
407 | 00:18:44,082 | 00:18:45,212 | Six thousand. | Six thousand. |
408 | 00:18:45,292 | 00:18:46,752 | Oh. Six. Thank you. | Oh. Six. Thank you. |
409 | 00:18:46,835 | 00:18:49,835 | -Seven thousand. -Seven thousand. | -Seven thousand. -Seven thousand. |
410 | 00:18:49,922 | 00:18:51,262 | Ten thousand. | Ten thousand. |
411 | 00:18:51,340 | 00:18:53,050 | -[guests gasping] -Oh! | -[guests gasping] -Oh! |
412 | 00:18:53,133 | 00:18:54,553 | Stunning. | Stunning. |
413 | 00:18:54,635 | 00:18:57,675 | Uh, and that applies to the bid and the bidder. | Uh, and that applies to the bid and the bidder. |
414 | 00:18:57,763 | 00:19:00,023 | I don't think so. | I don't think so. |
415 | 00:19:01,099 | 00:19:03,019 | -Twelve thousand pounds. -Fourteen thousand. | -Twelve thousand pounds. -Fourteen thousand. |
416 | 00:19:03,101 | 00:19:04,601 | [Rupert] Fourteen thousand! | [Rupert] Fourteen thousand! |
417 | 00:19:04,686 | 00:19:05,806 | Sixteen thousand. | Sixteen thousand. |
418 | 00:19:05,896 | 00:19:07,016 | Eighteen. | Eighteen. |
419 | 00:19:07,481 | 00:19:10,321 | [Rupert] Eighteen thousand. Do I hear any advance? | [Rupert] Eighteen thousand. Do I hear any advance? |
420 | 00:19:10,400 | 00:19:12,280 | Yeah. Twenty-five thousand. | Yeah. Twenty-five thousand. |
421 | 00:19:12,361 | 00:19:17,371 | -[guests gasping] -Twenty-five thousand! Going once. Twice. | -[guests gasping] -Twenty-five thousand! Going once. Twice. |
422 | 00:19:17,449 | 00:19:19,199 | -Sold to Keeley Jones. -[cheers, applause] | -Sold to Keeley Jones. -[cheers, applause] |
423 | 00:19:19,284 | 00:19:24,214 | Why spend the time with your boyfriend for free when you can have him for 25 grand? | Why spend the time with your boyfriend for free when you can have him for 25 grand? |
424 | 00:19:24,289 | 00:19:25,709 | -[laughs] -[mouthing] You owe me. | -[laughs] -[mouthing] You owe me. |
425 | 00:19:29,711 | 00:19:33,171 | Hey. There you are. Getting a little fresh air, huh? | Hey. There you are. Getting a little fresh air, huh? |
426 | 00:19:33,257 | 00:19:37,507 | Yeah. Those rickshaw bike things are so silly, but they do look like fun. | Yeah. Those rickshaw bike things are so silly, but they do look like fun. |
427 | 00:19:37,594 | 00:19:38,434 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
428 | 00:19:38,512 | 00:19:40,222 | -You ever been on one? -No, ma'am. | -You ever been on one? -No, ma'am. |
429 | 00:19:40,305 | 00:19:44,805 | My wife and I once rented one of those tandem bikes on vacation a while back. | My wife and I once rented one of those tandem bikes on vacation a while back. |
430 | 00:19:44,893 | 00:19:48,193 | Not the best experience. She broke her arm and I actually, uh... | Not the best experience. She broke her arm and I actually, uh... |
431 | 00:19:48,272 | 00:19:51,782 | Well, I chipped a tooth, and I bruised my perineum. Oof. | Well, I chipped a tooth, and I bruised my perineum. Oof. |
432 | 00:19:54,194 | 00:19:56,454 | -Hey, you okay? -Oh, it's just... | -Hey, you okay? -Oh, it's just... |
433 | 00:19:57,906 | 00:19:59,116 | That man, he knows me. | That man, he knows me. |
434 | 00:20:00,367 | 00:20:04,197 | I used to think his blunt honesty was noble rather than what it really is. | I used to think his blunt honesty was noble rather than what it really is. |
435 | 00:20:04,288 | 00:20:05,288 | Which is just... | Which is just... |
436 | 00:20:07,583 | 00:20:10,293 | the cruelest way of hiding his own insecurities. | the cruelest way of hiding his own insecurities. |
437 | 00:20:11,461 | 00:20:13,921 | He'd say wear this, eat that. | He'd say wear this, eat that. |
438 | 00:20:16,758 | 00:20:18,298 | And I listened. | And I listened. |
439 | 00:20:19,511 | 00:20:20,891 | But now I'm alone. | But now I'm alone. |
440 | 00:20:22,556 | 00:20:25,926 | I'm alone, Ted. Just like he said I would be if I left. | I'm alone, Ted. Just like he said I would be if I left. |
441 | 00:20:30,272 | 00:20:31,692 | I don't want to be alone. | I don't want to be alone. |
442 | 00:20:36,528 | 00:20:39,318 | Hey. It's okay. Okay. | Hey. It's okay. Okay. |
443 | 00:20:40,574 | 00:20:41,834 | [sobs] | [sobs] |
444 | 00:20:48,707 | 00:20:49,707 | [horn squeaks] | [horn squeaks] |
445 | 00:20:52,836 | 00:20:56,716 | You wanna hop on this thing and get the heck outta Dodge? Come on. | You wanna hop on this thing and get the heck outta Dodge? Come on. |
446 | 00:20:56,798 | 00:20:57,928 | I wish. | I wish. |
447 | 00:20:59,218 | 00:21:00,838 | Not right now. Thank you though. | Not right now. Thank you though. |
448 | 00:21:01,845 | 00:21:02,845 | [horn squeaks] | [horn squeaks] |
449 | 00:21:04,973 | 00:21:07,183 | Has he-- Has he started the auction? | Has he-- Has he started the auction? |
450 | 00:21:07,643 | 00:21:08,643 | Yeah, yeah. | Yeah, yeah. |
451 | 00:21:08,727 | 00:21:11,647 | Good. I'm glad he's done that. We'll get much more money. | Good. I'm glad he's done that. We'll get much more money. |
452 | 00:21:12,940 | 00:21:15,070 | No matter what he does, they just love him. | No matter what he does, they just love him. |
453 | 00:21:18,278 | 00:21:21,028 | -You wanna head back in? -No, you go ahead. | -You wanna head back in? -No, you go ahead. |
454 | 00:21:21,698 | 00:21:22,698 | I need to freshen up. | I need to freshen up. |
455 | 00:21:22,783 | 00:21:26,753 | I probably look like Robert Smith after he's woken up from a nap. | I probably look like Robert Smith after he's woken up from a nap. |
456 | 00:21:26,828 | 00:21:30,118 | -[chuckles] Very emotional man. Yeah. -[chuckles] | -[chuckles] Very emotional man. Yeah. -[chuckles] |
457 | 00:21:30,207 | 00:21:31,377 | Okay, I'll see you inside. | Okay, I'll see you inside. |
458 | 00:21:34,670 | 00:21:36,960 | [jazz music playing] | [jazz music playing] |
459 | 00:21:43,303 | 00:21:44,303 | When I was coming up, | When I was coming up, |
460 | 00:21:44,388 | 00:21:46,808 | there was this old geezer at the club, Doug Stashwick. | there was this old geezer at the club, Doug Stashwick. |
461 | 00:21:46,890 | 00:21:48,980 | He was always on me. Hated each other. | He was always on me. Hated each other. |
462 | 00:21:49,601 | 00:21:51,731 | -You wanna know how we won the league? -No. | -You wanna know how we won the league? -No. |
463 | 00:21:52,396 | 00:21:54,726 | It was the same shit Yankee Doodle was peddling. | It was the same shit Yankee Doodle was peddling. |
464 | 00:21:54,815 | 00:21:57,105 | He sat me down and he said, "Let's get it all out there. | He sat me down and he said, "Let's get it all out there. |
465 | 00:21:57,192 | 00:22:00,072 | You tell me why I'm a prick, and I'll tell you why you are." | You tell me why I'm a prick, and I'll tell you why you are." |
466 | 00:22:02,406 | 00:22:04,316 | -You're a nasty bastard-- -No, I'm going first. | -You're a nasty bastard-- -No, I'm going first. |
467 | 00:22:05,742 | 00:22:08,872 | Even though I know I should pass to you... | Even though I know I should pass to you... |
468 | 00:22:10,038 | 00:22:11,868 | you're so selfish and arrogant. | you're so selfish and arrogant. |
469 | 00:22:11,957 | 00:22:14,077 | Every time I do, it makes me want to fucking puke. | Every time I do, it makes me want to fucking puke. |
470 | 00:22:16,587 | 00:22:20,257 | You know, I had a poster of you on my wall when I was a kid. | You know, I had a poster of you on my wall when I was a kid. |
471 | 00:22:21,758 | 00:22:23,588 | Used to love watching you play. | Used to love watching you play. |
472 | 00:22:25,721 | 00:22:28,351 | But you're not the player that you used to be, | But you're not the player that you used to be, |
473 | 00:22:28,432 | 00:22:30,682 | and just because you won a few trophies, | and just because you won a few trophies, |
474 | 00:22:30,767 | 00:22:33,847 | you walk around here expecting everyone to kiss your ring. | you walk around here expecting everyone to kiss your ring. |
475 | 00:22:36,815 | 00:22:39,895 | -Yeah, I can be like that. -[chuckles] | -Yeah, I can be like that. -[chuckles] |
476 | 00:22:45,699 | 00:22:47,619 | Now's the bit where you admit to what I said. | Now's the bit where you admit to what I said. |
477 | 00:22:48,368 | 00:22:50,118 | -I don't wanna. -[scoffs] | -I don't wanna. -[scoffs] |
478 | 00:22:51,997 | 00:22:53,207 | Even if it is just... | Even if it is just... |
479 | 00:22:54,666 | 00:22:55,746 | a little bit true. | a little bit true. |
480 | 00:23:01,215 | 00:23:03,295 | You and that Doug bloke, you ever become friends? | You and that Doug bloke, you ever become friends? |
481 | 00:23:03,383 | 00:23:05,433 | Fuck no. I hope he's dead. | Fuck no. I hope he's dead. |
482 | 00:23:05,511 | 00:23:06,891 | [chuckles] | [chuckles] |
483 | 00:23:07,638 | 00:23:08,758 | To you dying. | To you dying. |
484 | 00:23:09,389 | 00:23:11,139 | [chuckles] | [chuckles] |
485 | 00:23:11,225 | 00:23:12,425 | Such a prick. | Such a prick. |
486 | 00:23:12,518 | 00:23:15,558 | [men laughing] | [men laughing] |
487 | 00:23:15,646 | 00:23:16,896 | Howdy, partner. | Howdy, partner. |
488 | 00:23:16,980 | 00:23:18,520 | [both chuckle] | [both chuckle] |
489 | 00:23:18,607 | 00:23:21,777 | So, you ask Rebecca what she thought about texting Robbie? | So, you ask Rebecca what she thought about texting Robbie? |
490 | 00:23:22,361 | 00:23:25,781 | You know what? I couldn't find her. I say don't worry about it. | You know what? I couldn't find her. I say don't worry about it. |
491 | 00:23:25,864 | 00:23:28,454 | If you change your mind, say the word and-- [imitates whooshing] sent. | If you change your mind, say the word and-- [imitates whooshing] sent. |
492 | 00:23:28,534 | 00:23:30,874 | He'll be right over. Top up. | He'll be right over. Top up. |
493 | 00:23:31,578 | 00:23:33,708 | Hey, Rupert, something just occurred to me. | Hey, Rupert, something just occurred to me. |
494 | 00:23:33,789 | 00:23:37,249 | If you could've texted Robbie Williams asking him to come tonight... | If you could've texted Robbie Williams asking him to come tonight... |
495 | 00:23:38,794 | 00:23:42,174 | you could've probably just as easily asked him not to come. | you could've probably just as easily asked him not to come. |
496 | 00:23:43,090 | 00:23:44,420 | [chuckles] | [chuckles] |
497 | 00:23:44,508 | 00:23:47,428 | Well, now, that would've made me a real piece of shit, wouldn't it? | Well, now, that would've made me a real piece of shit, wouldn't it? |
498 | 00:23:53,767 | 00:23:57,687 | Hey, Ted. Uh, do you think Rebecca knows what the real Adele looks like? | Hey, Ted. Uh, do you think Rebecca knows what the real Adele looks like? |
499 | 00:23:58,897 | 00:24:01,147 | I need to go on a little adventure, and I need a copilot. | I need to go on a little adventure, and I need a copilot. |
500 | 00:24:01,233 | 00:24:03,863 | -And you want me? -Yeah. Forget the rest, I need the best. | -And you want me? -Yeah. Forget the rest, I need the best. |
501 | 00:24:03,944 | 00:24:06,204 | -Come on, follow me. -[gags] | -Come on, follow me. -[gags] |
502 | 00:24:10,826 | 00:24:13,116 | -Thank you, by the way. -Huh? | -Thank you, by the way. -Huh? |
503 | 00:24:13,537 | 00:24:17,617 | The, um, red carpet photos are already online, | The, um, red carpet photos are already online, |
504 | 00:24:17,708 | 00:24:21,338 | and I actually look all right for once. | and I actually look all right for once. |
505 | 00:24:21,420 | 00:24:22,920 | Oh. Glad to help. | Oh. Glad to help. |
506 | 00:24:26,592 | 00:24:27,632 | -Keeley? -Mm-hmm? | -Keeley? -Mm-hmm? |
507 | 00:24:27,718 | 00:24:28,718 | I think you should know | I think you should know |
508 | 00:24:28,802 | 00:24:32,642 | that the young woman that was bidding on Jamie was actually his other plus-one. | that the young woman that was bidding on Jamie was actually his other plus-one. |
509 | 00:24:34,850 | 00:24:36,440 | Cheeky little prick. | Cheeky little prick. |
510 | 00:24:39,897 | 00:24:42,397 | -Can I have a sip of your drink? -Oh, yes. | -Can I have a sip of your drink? -Oh, yes. |
511 | 00:24:42,482 | 00:24:43,612 | Thanks. | Thanks. |
512 | 00:24:43,692 | 00:24:46,532 | [groans] In anything else, I hate olives. | [groans] In anything else, I hate olives. |
513 | 00:24:46,612 | 00:24:50,822 | I think the little, like, orange clitoris thing is really freaky. | I think the little, like, orange clitoris thing is really freaky. |
514 | 00:24:51,533 | 00:24:52,703 | [sips] | [sips] |
515 | 00:24:53,911 | 00:24:55,951 | -Have you ever dated a footballer? -[chuckles] | -Have you ever dated a footballer? -[chuckles] |
516 | 00:24:56,371 | 00:24:58,371 | -What? -Sorry. | -What? -Sorry. |
517 | 00:24:58,957 | 00:25:02,247 | I shouldn't laugh. It sounds... judgy. | I shouldn't laugh. It sounds... judgy. |
518 | 00:25:02,336 | 00:25:04,456 | No, it's okay. You are a bit judgy. | No, it's okay. You are a bit judgy. |
519 | 00:25:04,546 | 00:25:07,546 | So when I was 18, I dated a footballer that was 23. | So when I was 18, I dated a footballer that was 23. |
520 | 00:25:08,717 | 00:25:13,007 | [sighs] Now I'm close to 30, and I am still dating a 23-year-old footballer. | [sighs] Now I'm close to 30, and I am still dating a 23-year-old footballer. |
521 | 00:25:13,096 | 00:25:15,966 | [chuckles] I'm Leonardo DiCaprio. | [chuckles] I'm Leonardo DiCaprio. |
522 | 00:25:17,851 | 00:25:19,021 | They are pretty fun though. | They are pretty fun though. |
523 | 00:25:20,103 | 00:25:22,523 | Simple, rich, fit. | Simple, rich, fit. |
524 | 00:25:22,606 | 00:25:24,316 | What about accountable? | What about accountable? |
525 | 00:25:25,025 | 00:25:26,025 | What do you mean? | What do you mean? |
526 | 00:25:26,610 | 00:25:29,780 | Well, I mean, everyone makes mistakes, but... | Well, I mean, everyone makes mistakes, but... |
527 | 00:25:31,657 | 00:25:34,277 | I was married to a man for 12 years | I was married to a man for 12 years |
528 | 00:25:34,993 | 00:25:38,543 | who never once took responsibility for any single one of them. | who never once took responsibility for any single one of them. |
529 | 00:25:48,006 | 00:25:49,166 | Hi. | Hi. |
530 | 00:25:49,258 | 00:25:50,258 | -Hi. -I'm Keeley. | -Hi. -I'm Keeley. |
531 | 00:25:50,342 | 00:25:51,342 | Hi, I'm Bex. | Hi, I'm Bex. |
532 | 00:25:51,426 | 00:25:53,216 | -Really nice to meet you, Bex. -Nice to meet you. | -Really nice to meet you, Bex. -Nice to meet you. |
533 | 00:25:53,303 | 00:25:55,393 | Do you mind if I just have a minute on my own with this one? | Do you mind if I just have a minute on my own with this one? |
534 | 00:25:55,472 | 00:25:58,232 | [Bex] Yeah, sure. Lovely to meet you. | [Bex] Yeah, sure. Lovely to meet you. |
535 | 00:25:59,768 | 00:26:01,058 | She your new girlfriend? | She your new girlfriend? |
536 | 00:26:01,144 | 00:26:04,774 | Relax, babe. It's all part of the branding plan, innit? | Relax, babe. It's all part of the branding plan, innit? |
537 | 00:26:04,857 | 00:26:07,777 | If I've got two women bidding on me, it makes me look more valuable. | If I've got two women bidding on me, it makes me look more valuable. |
538 | 00:26:07,860 | 00:26:08,940 | Do you know what I mean? | Do you know what I mean? |
539 | 00:26:09,778 | 00:26:11,608 | -It's fucking smart, eh? -[applause] | -It's fucking smart, eh? -[applause] |
540 | 00:26:11,697 | 00:26:17,447 | And now, the only former Champions League winner on the menu, say hello to Roy Kent. | And now, the only former Champions League winner on the menu, say hello to Roy Kent. |
541 | 00:26:17,536 | 00:26:18,576 | Granddad. | Granddad. |
542 | 00:26:21,081 | 00:26:26,341 | And the highest bidder gets to spend a day at a swanky hotel by the pool | And the highest bidder gets to spend a day at a swanky hotel by the pool |
543 | 00:26:26,420 | 00:26:29,970 | drinking frozen daiquiris and soaking up the rays-- | drinking frozen daiquiris and soaking up the rays-- |
544 | 00:26:30,048 | 00:26:32,258 | No, we said there's no daiquiris and no rays. | No, we said there's no daiquiris and no rays. |
545 | 00:26:32,342 | 00:26:33,552 | -[guests laugh] -[Rupert] Um... | -[guests laugh] -[Rupert] Um... |
546 | 00:26:34,094 | 00:26:37,314 | There's not gonna be a fucking pool either. We're not leaving SW14. | There's not gonna be a fucking pool either. We're not leaving SW14. |
547 | 00:26:37,389 | 00:26:40,059 | You looked so jealous. It was so cool. | You looked so jealous. It was so cool. |
548 | 00:26:40,142 | 00:26:42,022 | Oh, you think jealousy is cool, do you? | Oh, you think jealousy is cool, do you? |
549 | 00:26:42,102 | 00:26:43,602 | Don't know, babe. I don't get jealous. | Don't know, babe. I don't get jealous. |
550 | 00:26:43,687 | 00:26:47,067 | Well, can we have 100 quid for what's turning out to be a very boring date? | Well, can we have 100 quid for what's turning out to be a very boring date? |
551 | 00:26:47,524 | 00:26:49,744 | -All right. A thousand pounds. -Oh. | -All right. A thousand pounds. -Oh. |
552 | 00:26:49,818 | 00:26:53,738 | -Uh, any advances on that? -Two thousand pounds! | -Uh, any advances on that? -Two thousand pounds! |
553 | 00:26:53,822 | 00:26:57,082 | Ooh! Cheryl's got fire inside her. | Ooh! Cheryl's got fire inside her. |
554 | 00:26:57,159 | 00:27:00,079 | -Three thousand pounds. -Babe, you're just embarrassing yourself. | -Three thousand pounds. -Babe, you're just embarrassing yourself. |
555 | 00:27:00,704 | 00:27:02,624 | Four thousand pounds! | Four thousand pounds! |
556 | 00:27:02,706 | 00:27:03,786 | Five thousand! | Five thousand! |
557 | 00:27:04,541 | 00:27:06,841 | Six thousand pounds. | Six thousand pounds. |
558 | 00:27:06,919 | 00:27:08,879 | -[Rupert] Any advance on six? -I'm sorry. I'm sorry. | -[Rupert] Any advance on six? -I'm sorry. I'm sorry. |
559 | 00:27:10,088 | 00:27:12,048 | [Rupert] Okay, sold to Cheryl. | [Rupert] Okay, sold to Cheryl. |
560 | 00:27:12,132 | 00:27:13,682 | Whoo-hoo! | Whoo-hoo! |
561 | 00:27:19,723 | 00:27:24,733 | That concludes the auction, apart from one small surprise. | That concludes the auction, apart from one small surprise. |
562 | 00:27:25,604 | 00:27:31,534 | I am personally donating £1 million to the cause. | I am personally donating £1 million to the cause. |
563 | 00:27:34,154 | 00:27:35,164 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
564 | 00:27:35,656 | 00:27:37,446 | Thank you very much. Thank you. | Thank you very much. Thank you. |
565 | 00:27:37,533 | 00:27:43,713 | And that, I believe, gets Rebecca over her goal of 800,000. Thank you. | And that, I believe, gets Rebecca over her goal of 800,000. Thank you. |
566 | 00:27:47,459 | 00:27:48,789 | For the children, eh? | For the children, eh? |
567 | 00:27:53,507 | 00:27:55,507 | [cheers, applause] | [cheers, applause] |
568 | 00:28:00,556 | 00:28:01,636 | Rebecca. | Rebecca. |
569 | 00:28:01,723 | 00:28:05,643 | This here is Cam Cole. He's an undiscovered mega-talent. | This here is Cam Cole. He's an undiscovered mega-talent. |
570 | 00:28:05,727 | 00:28:07,187 | Go on, Cam. Show 'em what you got. | Go on, Cam. Show 'em what you got. |
571 | 00:28:11,441 | 00:28:12,441 | Are you insane? | Are you insane? |
572 | 00:28:12,526 | 00:28:16,486 | Hey, Rebecca. You do not wanna judge this book by its cover right here, okay? | Hey, Rebecca. You do not wanna judge this book by its cover right here, okay? |
573 | 00:28:17,865 | 00:28:18,865 | Oh, the hell with it. | Oh, the hell with it. |
574 | 00:28:20,200 | 00:28:21,620 | -[applause] -Ooh. Yes. | -[applause] -Ooh. Yes. |
575 | 00:28:22,911 | 00:28:27,921 | Hello again. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that, uh... | Hello again. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that, uh... |
576 | 00:28:29,209 | 00:28:33,299 | Robbie Williams is unable to be here tonight due to an emergency. | Robbie Williams is unable to be here tonight due to an emergency. |
577 | 00:28:33,380 | 00:28:38,220 | But we have a brilliant replacement for you who you are just going to love. | But we have a brilliant replacement for you who you are just going to love. |
578 | 00:28:38,302 | 00:28:41,182 | Or, at least, have lots to talk about on the way home. | Or, at least, have lots to talk about on the way home. |
579 | 00:28:41,263 | 00:28:47,603 | Uh, all the way from outside... please welcome Cam something. | Uh, all the way from outside... please welcome Cam something. |
580 | 00:28:48,478 | 00:28:50,608 | [scattered applause] | [scattered applause] |
581 | 00:28:54,818 | 00:28:56,108 | -[microphone squeals] -Oh, bollocks. | -[microphone squeals] -Oh, bollocks. |
582 | 00:28:57,696 | 00:28:58,696 | What does that mean? | What does that mean? |
583 | 00:28:59,656 | 00:29:02,366 | [playing rock music] | [playing rock music] |
584 | 00:29:12,961 | 00:29:18,591 | ♪ Mama, sweet mama nature Please forgive us and what we've done ♪ | ♪ Mama, sweet mama nature Please forgive us and what we've done ♪ |
585 | 00:29:21,553 | 00:29:23,893 | Can we just forget about the game and go and have a dance? | Can we just forget about the game and go and have a dance? |
586 | 00:29:24,598 | 00:29:26,678 | Queen to king five. Checkmate. | Queen to king five. Checkmate. |
587 | 00:29:27,684 | 00:29:28,694 | [scoffs] | [scoffs] |
588 | 00:29:31,438 | 00:29:33,728 | -[song continues] -[cheering] | -[song continues] -[cheering] |
589 | 00:29:33,815 | 00:29:36,775 | ♪ We've gone and hurt our mama ♪ | ♪ We've gone and hurt our mama ♪ |
590 | 00:29:36,860 | 00:29:40,070 | ♪ And her wrath has begun ♪ | ♪ And her wrath has begun ♪ |
591 | 00:30:02,970 | 00:30:06,010 | ♪ 'Cause I'm a good boy to my mama ♪ | ♪ 'Cause I'm a good boy to my mama ♪ |
592 | 00:30:09,101 | 00:30:13,811 | ♪ But ♪ | ♪ But ♪ |
593 | 00:30:13,897 | 00:30:19,027 | ♪ I've got bad siblings ♪ | ♪ I've got bad siblings ♪ |
594 | 00:30:21,780 | 00:30:23,780 | -[song ends] -[cheering] | -[song ends] -[cheering] |
595 | 00:30:27,536 | 00:30:29,116 | -[woman] Thank you so much. -[Rebecca] Oh, you're so welcome. | -[woman] Thank you so much. -[Rebecca] Oh, you're so welcome. |
596 | 00:30:29,204 | 00:30:31,254 | -[woman] We really had a great time. -Thank you so much. | -[woman] We really had a great time. -Thank you so much. |
597 | 00:30:32,291 | 00:30:33,421 | Good night. | Good night. |
598 | 00:30:33,959 | 00:30:36,669 | Thank you again for such an unbelievable donation. | Thank you again for such an unbelievable donation. |
599 | 00:30:36,753 | 00:30:38,513 | -See you again next year. -Can't wait. | -See you again next year. -Can't wait. |
600 | 00:30:45,470 | 00:30:46,680 | [Ted] What a charmer, huh? | [Ted] What a charmer, huh? |
601 | 00:30:47,347 | 00:30:48,387 | [Rebecca] Indeed. | [Rebecca] Indeed. |
602 | 00:30:48,849 | 00:30:49,769 | [Ted] Hmm. | [Ted] Hmm. |
603 | 00:30:51,268 | 00:30:55,188 | You may think that you're the only one that can see who he really is... | You may think that you're the only one that can see who he really is... |
604 | 00:30:56,690 | 00:30:57,690 | but you're not. | but you're not. |
605 | 00:31:04,823 | 00:31:06,333 | Oh, boy. You all right, buddy? | Oh, boy. You all right, buddy? |
606 | 00:31:08,410 | 00:31:10,250 | -Quick. -All right. | -Quick. -All right. |
607 | 00:31:10,329 | 00:31:11,329 | Fun night. | Fun night. |
608 | 00:31:12,915 | 00:31:15,125 | Hey, wait, hold on. Slow down, Coach. | Hey, wait, hold on. Slow down, Coach. |
609 | 00:31:15,209 | 00:31:16,919 | [typing] | [typing] |
610 | 00:31:19,171 | 00:31:20,961 | Will you stop being mad at me now? | Will you stop being mad at me now? |
611 | 00:31:22,549 | 00:31:23,509 | Mm? | Mm? |
612 | 00:31:24,009 | 00:31:25,219 | I'm sorry, babe. | I'm sorry, babe. |
613 | 00:31:27,638 | 00:31:29,888 | Do you even know what you're sorry for, Jamie? | Do you even know what you're sorry for, Jamie? |
614 | 00:31:29,973 | 00:31:31,603 | [sighs] You always ask me that. | [sighs] You always ask me that. |
615 | 00:31:32,392 | 00:31:34,522 | Hey, do me a favor. | Hey, do me a favor. |
616 | 00:31:34,603 | 00:31:36,613 | Don't use me as a prop in your little fights. | Don't use me as a prop in your little fights. |
617 | 00:31:37,564 | 00:31:38,734 | Made me feel like an idiot. | Made me feel like an idiot. |
618 | 00:31:41,068 | 00:31:42,898 | I'm sorry. I-- | I'm sorry. I-- |
619 | 00:31:43,445 | 00:31:44,655 | I shouldn't have done that. | I shouldn't have done that. |
620 | 00:31:45,906 | 00:31:46,906 | Thanks. | Thanks. |
621 | 00:31:47,533 | 00:31:49,873 | No one was bidding on you anyway, mate. Just fuck off. | No one was bidding on you anyway, mate. Just fuck off. |
622 | 00:31:51,411 | 00:31:52,411 | Go on. | Go on. |
623 | 00:31:56,667 | 00:31:58,207 | What are you saying sorry to him for? | What are you saying sorry to him for? |
624 | 00:31:58,710 | 00:32:00,710 | Being accountable matters, Jamie. | Being accountable matters, Jamie. |
625 | 00:32:01,547 | 00:32:02,547 | [scoffs] | [scoffs] |
626 | 00:32:03,674 | 00:32:04,684 | We're done. | We're done. |
627 | 00:32:06,093 | 00:32:07,093 | I'll see you around. | I'll see you around. |
628 | 00:32:10,931 | 00:32:11,931 | Whatever. | Whatever. |
629 | 00:32:18,438 | 00:32:20,568 | Excuse me, can I take these? | Excuse me, can I take these? |
630 | 00:32:20,649 | 00:32:21,649 | Two? | Two? |
631 | 00:32:23,318 | 00:32:24,528 | [grunts] | [grunts] |
632 | 00:32:24,611 | 00:32:27,031 | [pop music playing] | [pop music playing] |
633 | 00:32:31,451 | 00:32:33,121 | Do you wanna go get, like, really drunk? | Do you wanna go get, like, really drunk? |
634 | 00:32:33,537 | 00:32:36,247 | -Yes, I do. -Then we can go rob a bank or something. | -Yes, I do. -Then we can go rob a bank or something. |
635 | 00:32:43,005 | 00:32:45,045 | Michelle and Henry are coming out next weekend. | Michelle and Henry are coming out next weekend. |
636 | 00:32:45,132 | 00:32:46,512 | -Hey, that's great, Coach. -Yeah. | -Hey, that's great, Coach. -Yeah. |
637 | 00:32:47,217 | 00:32:49,507 | So come on, tell me about you and Jane. What happened? | So come on, tell me about you and Jane. What happened? |
638 | 00:32:49,595 | 00:32:51,215 | [sighs] I did it again. | [sighs] I did it again. |
639 | 00:32:51,305 | 00:32:54,015 | -Put the game before the dame, huh? -Yup. | -Put the game before the dame, huh? -Yup. |
640 | 00:32:54,099 | 00:32:55,639 | When are you gonna learn, Coach? | When are you gonna learn, Coach? |
641 | 00:32:55,726 | 00:32:58,186 | -[Keeley shouts] -[horn squeaks] | -[Keeley shouts] -[horn squeaks] |
642 | 00:32:58,270 | 00:33:00,860 | [both laugh] | [both laugh] |
643 | 00:33:01,190 | 00:33:04,360 | [song continues] | [song continues] |