# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:04,086 00:00:05,916 [birds chirping] [birds chirping]
2 00:00:12,596 00:00:14,886 [alarm buzzing] [alarm buzzing]
3 00:00:14,973 00:00:17,983 [rock music playing] [rock music playing]
4 00:00:28,695 00:00:30,905 [song continues] [song continues]
5 00:00:39,998 00:00:41,168 Whoo! Whoo!
6 00:00:49,675 00:00:51,295 Fuck! Fuck!
7 00:00:54,429 00:00:56,849 -Siri, call Shithead. -[phone beeps] -Siri, call Shithead. -[phone beeps]
8 00:00:58,475 00:01:00,435 -[phone rings] -Oh! -[phone rings] -Oh!
9 00:01:02,896 00:01:03,896 [with mouth full] Good morning. [with mouth full] Good morning.
10 00:01:03,981 00:01:06,861 [Rebecca] There is nothing in The Sun about Ted and Keeley. [Rebecca] There is nothing in The Sun about Ted and Keeley.
11 00:01:06,942 00:01:08,862 Nothing. Are you in your office? Nothing. Are you in your office?
12 00:01:08,944 00:01:10,154 Of course I am. Of course I am.
13 00:01:10,237 00:01:11,237 Then get up here now. Then get up here now.
14 00:01:11,822 00:01:12,992 [sighs] [sighs]
15 00:01:13,448 00:01:15,368 Bye, boys. Tell Mum I love her. Bye, boys. Tell Mum I love her.
16 00:01:16,285 00:01:18,195 Knock, knock. Hey, boss, I don't know about you, Knock, knock. Hey, boss, I don't know about you,
17 00:01:18,287 00:01:20,747 but I had an absolute peach of a Sunday. but I had an absolute peach of a Sunday.
18 00:01:20,831 00:01:22,751 -Here you go. [chuckles] -[sniffs] -Here you go. [chuckles] -[sniffs]
19 00:01:23,709 00:01:25,249 Yeah, finally saw Big Ben. Yeah, finally saw Big Ben.
20 00:01:25,335 00:01:27,585 Boy, I thought I'd seen the biggest clock there was. Boy, I thought I'd seen the biggest clock there was.
21 00:01:27,671 00:01:29,421 When I was a kid, my folks took me When I was a kid, my folks took me
22 00:01:29,506 00:01:32,006 to the Allen-Bradley Clock Tower up there in Milwaukee. to the Allen-Bradley Clock Tower up there in Milwaukee.
23 00:01:32,092 00:01:33,762 They ended up leaving me there all by myself. They ended up leaving me there all by myself.
24 00:01:33,844 00:01:36,764 Yeah, three hours and 42 minutes. You know how I know that? Yeah, three hours and 42 minutes. You know how I know that?
25 00:01:36,847 00:01:38,137 You were staring at a clock? You were staring at a clock?
26 00:01:38,223 00:01:40,523 I was staring at a clock. That's exactly right. Yeah, bingo. I was staring at a clock. That's exactly right. Yeah, bingo.
27 00:01:40,601 00:01:41,811 That's a little bit of a mystery puzzle. That's a little bit of a mystery puzzle.
28 00:01:41,894 00:01:43,404 You figured it out right away. You're a sharp cookie. You figured it out right away. You're a sharp cookie.
29 00:01:43,478 00:01:44,478 -Ted. -Yeah. -Ted. -Yeah.
30 00:01:44,563 00:01:46,903 Speaking as we were mere moments ago, about time, Speaking as we were mere moments ago, about time,
31 00:01:46,982 00:01:48,692 I unfortunately don't have any. I unfortunately don't have any.
32 00:01:48,775 00:01:50,565 I have a branding meeting, so... I have a branding meeting, so...
33 00:01:50,652 00:01:52,532 Oh. I always feel so bad for the cows, Oh. I always feel so bad for the cows,
34 00:01:52,613 00:01:54,783 but you gotta do it otherwise they get lost. but you gotta do it otherwise they get lost.
35 00:01:59,119 00:02:00,119 That was a branding joke. That was a branding joke.
36 00:02:00,204 00:02:01,504 If we were in Kansas right now, If we were in Kansas right now,
37 00:02:01,580 00:02:04,250 I'd just be sitting here waiting for you to finish laughing. Yeah. I'd just be sitting here waiting for you to finish laughing. Yeah.
38 00:02:05,292 00:02:06,502 I'll see ya tomorrow, okay? I'll see ya tomorrow, okay?
39 00:02:06,585 00:02:09,455 -Okay. Counting the minutes. -Yeah, there you are. -Okay. Counting the minutes. -Yeah, there you are.
40 00:02:09,922 00:02:12,172 [theme music plays] [theme music plays]
41 00:02:30,901 00:02:34,401 All right. Let's see what we got here. I've got this fella up here, the goalie. All right. Let's see what we got here. I've got this fella up here, the goalie.
42 00:02:34,488 00:02:36,658 Then all these guys over here, okay? Then all these guys over here, okay?
43 00:02:36,740 00:02:39,410 And going over here, going over that way. And going over here, going over that way.
44 00:02:40,327 00:02:42,077 This son of a gun's gonna go all the way down here. This son of a gun's gonna go all the way down here.
45 00:02:45,207 00:02:47,627 Crystal Palace kicked our booties last week. Crystal Palace kicked our booties last week.
46 00:02:48,252 00:02:50,712 And this here, is our current offense that we are running, And this here, is our current offense that we are running,
47 00:02:50,796 00:02:52,876 and I think it stinks! and I think it stinks!
48 00:02:52,965 00:02:53,965 [blows raspberry] [blows raspberry]
49 00:02:54,049 00:02:55,339 [grunts] Get rid of it. [grunts] Get rid of it.
50 00:02:57,594 00:03:01,644 Now, you might be wondering why'd I draw all that up there just to erase it. Now, you might be wondering why'd I draw all that up there just to erase it.
51 00:03:01,723 00:03:03,853 And that is because I believe in symbolic gestures. And that is because I believe in symbolic gestures.
52 00:03:04,560 00:03:06,440 -[yawning] As do I. -Whoa! -[yawning] As do I. -Whoa!
53 00:03:06,520 00:03:08,110 What time did you get home last night? What time did you get home last night?
54 00:03:08,772 00:03:10,572 -Didn't. -Really? Oh. -Didn't. -Really? Oh.
55 00:03:10,649 00:03:11,649 Nah. Nah.
56 00:03:11,733 00:03:14,073 [Ted] Now, look, our whole offense right now is all give-and-go. [Ted] Now, look, our whole offense right now is all give-and-go.
57 00:03:14,152 00:03:16,662 Give the ball to Jamie and everyone else can go to hell. Give the ball to Jamie and everyone else can go to hell.
58 00:03:16,738 00:03:19,578 So, I am officially on the prowl for any new ideas, you hear? So, I am officially on the prowl for any new ideas, you hear?
59 00:03:19,658 00:03:20,658 Oh. Oh.
60 00:03:22,286 00:03:23,616 -You got something, Nate? -Uh, no. -You got something, Nate? -Uh, no.
61 00:03:24,079 00:03:25,999 Uh, so... [stammers] Uh, so... [stammers]
62 00:03:26,081 00:03:28,331 No. No. God, no. Never mind, I'm sorry. No. No. God, no. Never mind, I'm sorry.
63 00:03:28,417 00:03:30,917 Come on now. You're one of us. Let's go. Fire away. What do you got? Come on now. You're one of us. Let's go. Fire away. What do you got?
64 00:03:31,003 00:03:33,713 Okay, right. Well, it's just, um... No, other pocket. Okay, right. Well, it's just, um... No, other pocket.
65 00:03:33,797 00:03:35,587 It's just something that I thought of. It's just something that I thought of.
66 00:03:35,674 00:03:36,684 Um... Um...
67 00:03:37,426 00:03:39,136 Sorry. Jesus. Sorry. Jesus.
68 00:03:39,803 00:03:41,053 Not that one. Not that one.
69 00:03:41,138 00:03:43,268 You know what, it's not even very good. You know what, it's not even very good.
70 00:03:43,348 00:03:45,388 It's probably really bad. It's embarrassing even. It's probably really bad. It's embarrassing even.
71 00:03:45,475 00:03:46,475 -I just-- -Sorry, Nate. -I just-- -Sorry, Nate.
72 00:03:46,560 00:03:49,400 I have a real tricky time hearing folks that don't believe in themselves. I have a real tricky time hearing folks that don't believe in themselves.
73 00:03:49,479 00:03:50,729 I'm gonna ask you real quick again. I'm gonna ask you real quick again.
74 00:03:50,814 00:03:52,944 -Do you think this idea will work? -Yeah, I do. -Do you think this idea will work? -Yeah, I do.
75 00:03:53,025 00:03:53,855 Whoa! Whoa!
76 00:03:53,942 00:03:56,032 -Why you screaming at us, Nate? -Oh, God! -Why you screaming at us, Nate? -Oh, God!
77 00:03:56,111 00:03:57,701 We're right here. We're right here.
78 00:03:58,155 00:03:59,985 All right, come on now. Walk us through it. All right, come on now. Walk us through it.
79 00:04:00,782 00:04:03,202 Okay. So, I thought if we started the attack on the wing, Okay. So, I thought if we started the attack on the wing,
80 00:04:03,285 00:04:04,615 Jamie could run through nearside, Jamie could run through nearside,
81 00:04:04,703 00:04:07,413 then when the defense follows, Sam could fill his spot. then when the defense follows, Sam could fill his spot.
82 00:04:07,497 00:04:09,247 So, use Jamie as a decoy? So, use Jamie as a decoy?
83 00:04:09,333 00:04:10,583 No. [chuckles] No. [chuckles]
84 00:04:11,126 00:04:14,166 No. Well, yeah, in-- Yeah, in this case, yes. No. Well, yeah, in-- Yeah, in this case, yes.
85 00:04:15,047 00:04:16,337 Let's give it a shot. Let's give it a shot.
86 00:04:18,175 00:04:19,335 What, you're gonna use my play? What, you're gonna use my play?
87 00:04:19,426 00:04:21,636 Yeah. I mean, we're gonna try it on, see if it fits. Yeah. I mean, we're gonna try it on, see if it fits.
88 00:04:21,720 00:04:23,060 You know, it might not. You know, it might not.
89 00:04:23,138 00:04:25,928 Then again, it might be a very flattering silhouette, Then again, it might be a very flattering silhouette,
90 00:04:26,016 00:04:27,806 and I might wear it right outta the store. and I might wear it right outta the store.
91 00:04:27,893 00:04:29,653 Makes me feel good and I start to strut. Makes me feel good and I start to strut.
92 00:04:30,354 00:04:32,904 I'm like, "Ooh, I like this. I like the way this makes me feel." I'm like, "Ooh, I like this. I like the way this makes me feel."
93 00:04:32,981 00:04:34,271 Show him your strut, Coach. Show him your strut, Coach.
94 00:04:34,358 00:04:37,188 Yeah, there you go. Oh, yeah. Yep, that's how to strut. Yeah, there you go. Oh, yeah. Yep, that's how to strut.
95 00:04:37,277 00:04:38,817 Let me see you strut, Nate. Come on. Let me see you strut, Nate. Come on.
96 00:04:40,197 00:04:42,067 There you go, Nate. Yeah, that's one way to do it. There you go, Nate. Yeah, that's one way to do it.
97 00:04:42,157 00:04:43,277 There you go. There you go.
98 00:04:44,076 00:04:45,616 You look a little angry, but that's all right. You look a little angry, but that's all right.
99 00:04:45,702 00:04:47,372 That's my fault. I forgot the pitch is right this way. That's my fault. I forgot the pitch is right this way.
100 00:04:47,454 00:04:48,874 Come on, let's go. Strut this way. Here we go. Come on, let's go. Strut this way. Here we go.
101 00:04:48,956 00:04:50,116 Still strutting. Still strutting.
102 00:04:50,207 00:04:51,997 -I'll see you later. Yeah. -Yeah. -I'll see you later. Yeah. -Yeah.
103 00:04:54,127 00:04:56,507 Ted! Hey, um, have you got a minute? Ted! Hey, um, have you got a minute?
104 00:04:56,588 00:04:59,678 -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything okay? -Yeah, yeah. No, it's fine, yeah. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything okay? -Yeah, yeah. No, it's fine, yeah.
105 00:05:02,261 00:05:04,851 -It's not fine. Everything's shit. -Oh, no. -It's not fine. Everything's shit. -Oh, no.
106 00:05:04,930 00:05:07,310 This was gonna be the front page of The Sun today. This was gonna be the front page of The Sun today.
107 00:05:07,391 00:05:09,311 "Manager Shags Star Player's Girlfriend." "Manager Shags Star Player's Girlfriend."
108 00:05:10,060 00:05:11,770 I think a more accurate headline would be, I think a more accurate headline would be,
109 00:05:11,854 00:05:15,574 "Manager Innocently Feeds Young Woman Whose Relationship Does Not Define Her." "Manager Innocently Feeds Young Woman Whose Relationship Does Not Define Her."
110 00:05:15,649 00:05:17,149 Ted, this is really bad! Ted, this is really bad!
111 00:05:17,234 00:05:20,324 Except I look insanely fit in this picture. Except I look insanely fit in this picture.
112 00:05:21,405 00:05:23,065 Yeah, no, it's beautiful light. Yeah, no, it's beautiful light.
113 00:05:23,156 00:05:25,736 My friend who works at the paper said he can hold this story for one day My friend who works at the paper said he can hold this story for one day
114 00:05:25,826 00:05:27,196 -as a favor. -Mm-hmm. -as a favor. -Mm-hmm.
115 00:05:27,286 00:05:30,536 When this shit hits, Jamie is going to go mental. When this shit hits, Jamie is going to go mental.
116 00:05:30,622 00:05:32,082 There's going to be photographers all over us. There's going to be photographers all over us.
117 00:05:32,165 00:05:32,995 Right, right. Right, right.
118 00:05:33,083 00:05:34,963 The next picture of me will not be this perfect. The next picture of me will not be this perfect.
119 00:05:35,043 00:05:37,923 I am gonna be mid-sneeze face, like-- [gasp] I am gonna be mid-sneeze face, like-- [gasp]
120 00:05:39,590 00:05:40,800 [exhales] [exhales]
121 00:05:40,883 00:05:42,723 -Guess what the headline will be. -Gesundheit? -Guess what the headline will be. -Gesundheit?
122 00:05:42,801 00:05:45,011 "Jamie's Tart Breaks Tartt's Heart." "Jamie's Tart Breaks Tartt's Heart."
123 00:05:45,762 00:05:47,432 -Did you just come up with that? -Yeah. -Did you just come up with that? -Yeah.
124 00:05:47,514 00:05:49,644 -Everyone would read that. -Of course they would. -Everyone would read that. -Of course they would.
125 00:05:49,725 00:05:52,015 You have no idea the power of rhyming in this goddamn country. You have no idea the power of rhyming in this goddamn country.
126 00:05:52,102 00:05:53,152 Yeah. Yeah.
127 00:05:53,228 00:05:55,858 Oh, "Lasso Makes Passo and Creates Team Fiasco." Oh, "Lasso Makes Passo and Creates Team Fiasco."
128 00:05:56,315 00:05:57,935 Whoa. Keeley's got bars. Whoa. Keeley's got bars.
129 00:05:58,025 00:06:01,025 Yeah, I'm cute as a button and I can rhyme my ass off. Yeah, I'm cute as a button and I can rhyme my ass off.
130 00:06:01,987 00:06:03,907 God, it's no wonder they want to destroy me. God, it's no wonder they want to destroy me.
131 00:06:04,781 00:06:05,911 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
132 00:06:08,619 00:06:10,039 [stammers] [stammers]
133 00:06:12,581 00:06:14,461 Sorry, it took me so long to get up the stairs. Sorry, it took me so long to get up the stairs.
134 00:06:14,541 00:06:18,551 I was... stopped to talk by about a hundred people. I was... stopped to talk by about a hundred people.
135 00:06:18,629 00:06:19,959 Still nothing. Still nothing.
136 00:06:20,047 00:06:22,087 Get someone to run the story about Ted and Keeley. Get someone to run the story about Ted and Keeley.
137 00:06:22,174 00:06:23,184 [knocking] [knocking]
138 00:06:23,258 00:06:26,678 -Hey, boss. -Ted! And Keeley. Hello. -Hey, boss. -Ted! And Keeley. Hello.
139 00:06:26,762 00:06:29,012 Hey, I found that in the hall. Yeah. Hey, I found that in the hall. Yeah.
140 00:06:29,097 00:06:31,097 So, we got ourselves a situation here. So, we got ourselves a situation here.
141 00:06:31,183 00:06:32,733 Go ahead, show her the picture, yeah. Go ahead, show her the picture, yeah.
142 00:06:33,393 00:06:36,403 See? And the fucking Sun is running it tomorrow. See? And the fucking Sun is running it tomorrow.
143 00:06:36,480 00:06:37,690 Honestly, these people, Honestly, these people,
144 00:06:37,773 00:06:40,653 they just have no regard for people's privacy and dignity. they just have no regard for people's privacy and dignity.
145 00:06:40,734 00:06:44,324 Yeah, I'm gonna find the piece of shit that took this and who hired them. Yeah, I'm gonna find the piece of shit that took this and who hired them.
146 00:06:44,404 00:06:45,914 No, no. Not necessary. No, no. Not necessary.
147 00:06:45,989 00:06:49,369 I know the owner of the paper. I can get this stopped with a phone call. I know the owner of the paper. I can get this stopped with a phone call.
148 00:06:50,494 00:06:52,914 Really? Oh, my God. Thank you. Really? Oh, my God. Thank you.
149 00:06:52,996 00:06:54,246 See, what I tell ya, huh? See, what I tell ya, huh?
150 00:06:54,331 00:06:57,211 This woman right here is strong, confident and powerful. This woman right here is strong, confident and powerful.
151 00:06:57,292 00:07:00,212 Boss, I tell ya, I'd hate to see you and Michelle Obama arm wrestle, Boss, I tell ya, I'd hate to see you and Michelle Obama arm wrestle,
152 00:07:00,295 00:07:02,255 but I wouldn't be able to take my eyes off it either. but I wouldn't be able to take my eyes off it either.
153 00:07:02,339 00:07:04,089 Oh. That's not a compliment I've had before. Oh. That's not a compliment I've had before.
154 00:07:04,758 00:07:08,008 -You do have perfect action figure-y arms. -Yeah. -You do have perfect action figure-y arms. -Yeah.
155 00:07:08,470 00:07:11,140 There's another one. Anyway, glad to help. There's another one. Anyway, glad to help.
156 00:07:11,223 00:07:13,103 -All right. Yeah. -Thank you. -All right. Yeah. -Thank you.
157 00:07:13,183 00:07:15,353 -Okay. -[Ted] See y'all later. -Okay. -[Ted] See y'all later.
158 00:07:16,019 00:07:17,019 [door closes] [door closes]
159 00:07:17,104 00:07:19,064 There's no way she can trace that photo back to me, can she? There's no way she can trace that photo back to me, can she?
160 00:07:19,565 00:07:21,395 -[winces] Yes. -What do you mean "yes"? -[winces] Yes. -What do you mean "yes"?
161 00:07:22,192 00:07:24,192 Did you not use an alias or a burner phone? Did you not use an alias or a burner phone?
162 00:07:24,278 00:07:29,578 I'm not a spy, Rebecca. I'm just the director of football operations. I'm not a spy, Rebecca. I'm just the director of football operations.
163 00:07:29,658 00:07:31,738 And equally proficient at both. And equally proficient at both.
164 00:07:31,827 00:07:34,537 Well, thank you. Wait... Well, thank you. Wait...
165 00:07:35,998 00:07:38,708 Okay, here we go. Sam lays it for Dickson. Okay, here we go. Sam lays it for Dickson.
166 00:07:38,792 00:07:39,672 Okay, nice touch. Okay, nice touch.
167 00:07:42,087 00:07:43,877 [Coach Beard] Switch to Bumbercatch. [Coach Beard] Switch to Bumbercatch.
168 00:07:44,339 00:07:46,549 Jamie decoys through. Jamie decoys through.
169 00:07:46,633 00:07:48,763 -Sam wide open. -[Ted] There it is! -Sam wide open. -[Ted] There it is!
170 00:07:48,844 00:07:51,104 [players cheering] [players cheering]
171 00:07:51,180 00:07:52,930 Whoo! Whoo!
172 00:07:56,435 00:07:58,185 Nice play, Nate. How you feel? Nice play, Nate. How you feel?
173 00:07:58,270 00:08:01,520 I just don't know. So many new feelings. Yeah. I just don't know. So many new feelings. Yeah.
174 00:08:01,607 00:08:03,027 Kinda like getting your first pube, right? Kinda like getting your first pube, right?
175 00:08:03,108 00:08:04,478 -Yeah. What? -Here we go. [blows whistle] -Yeah. What? -Here we go. [blows whistle]
176 00:08:04,568 00:08:06,948 All right. Hey. Nice work. All right. Hey. Nice work.
177 00:08:07,029 00:08:08,029 Okay, now, gentlemen, Okay, now, gentlemen,
178 00:08:08,113 00:08:09,623 here's the other thing we're gonna start focusing on. here's the other thing we're gonna start focusing on.
179 00:08:09,698 00:08:11,908 Making quicker transitions from offense to defense. Making quicker transitions from offense to defense.
180 00:08:11,992 00:08:15,122 Y'all gotta start making your hellos goodbyes. You understand? Y'all gotta start making your hellos goodbyes. You understand?
181 00:08:15,204 00:08:17,254 Easiest way to get that done well is to do it well. Easiest way to get that done well is to do it well.
182 00:08:17,331 00:08:20,081 But aside from that, you gotta be in great shape, right? But aside from that, you gotta be in great shape, right?
183 00:08:20,167 00:08:23,127 So, we are all gonna run two laps around this field. So, we are all gonna run two laps around this field.
184 00:08:23,212 00:08:26,552 Anyone who loses to me has to run four more. Let's go! Anyone who loses to me has to run four more. Let's go!
185 00:08:27,132 00:08:30,052 -Okay, come on. What you got? -[player] What's going on? -Okay, come on. What you got? -[player] What's going on?
186 00:08:30,135 00:08:31,965 [players shouting] [players shouting]
187 00:08:32,054 00:08:34,064 [chuckles] [chuckles]
188 00:08:34,139 00:08:36,059 [Ted] You're catching up. Don't cut that corner! [Ted] You're catching up. Don't cut that corner!
189 00:08:36,140 00:08:38,100 Come on. You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man. Come on. You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man.
190 00:08:38,184 00:08:39,524 [Jamie] Faster, boys! [Jamie] Faster, boys!
191 00:08:41,730 00:08:43,570 -Look at his face. -Colin, Isaac, please stop. -Look at his face. -Colin, Isaac, please stop.
192 00:08:43,982 00:08:45,652 Yeah, it really hurts now. It really hurts. Yeah, it really hurts now. It really hurts.
193 00:08:45,734 00:08:47,954 Be careful, Colin, now. That's our new coach. Be careful, Colin, now. That's our new coach.
194 00:08:48,028 00:08:49,698 -[Colin] Oh, right, boyo. -[Isaac] Yeah. -[Colin] Oh, right, boyo. -[Isaac] Yeah.
195 00:08:49,780 00:08:50,950 Sorry, gaffer. Sorry, gaffer.
196 00:08:52,074 00:08:53,534 -Thank you. -[laughs] -Thank you. -[laughs]
197 00:08:54,201 00:08:56,831 -[chattering] -[Ted] Whoo! -[chattering] -[Ted] Whoo!
198 00:08:56,912 00:08:59,252 Okay, way to run out there today, fellas. Okay, way to run out there today, fellas.
199 00:08:59,331 00:09:01,211 You guys are much faster than me. You guys are much faster than me.
200 00:09:01,291 00:09:02,881 -[camera clicks] -Except Coach Beard. -[camera clicks] -Except Coach Beard.
201 00:09:02,960 00:09:05,170 What's going on? I thought you ran track in high school or something. What's going on? I thought you ran track in high school or something.
202 00:09:05,254 00:09:06,264 -Chess team, Coach. -Mm-hmm. -Chess team, Coach. -Mm-hmm.
203 00:09:06,338 00:09:07,508 Illinois State Champs, baby. Illinois State Champs, baby.
204 00:09:07,589 00:09:09,379 Okay, yeah. Illinois is a state, fellas. Okay, yeah. Illinois is a state, fellas.
205 00:09:09,466 00:09:12,296 Uh, one last thing, there are some gifts up in y'all's lockers. Uh, one last thing, there are some gifts up in y'all's lockers.
206 00:09:12,386 00:09:14,806 In your little cubbies up there. So, hope you enjoy 'em. In your little cubbies up there. So, hope you enjoy 'em.
207 00:09:28,569 00:09:29,899 It's a fucking book. It's a fucking book.
208 00:09:40,581 00:09:41,711 Nice one, bitch boy. Nice one, bitch boy.
209 00:09:46,253 00:09:47,383 [knocking] [knocking]
210 00:09:48,338 00:09:50,258 -Hey. -Yeah, I just thought you should know -Hey. -Yeah, I just thought you should know
211 00:09:50,340 00:09:52,930 that your boy Nathan's being harassed every single day that your boy Nathan's being harassed every single day
212 00:09:53,010 00:09:56,010 by Jamie and his little... side-pricks. by Jamie and his little... side-pricks.
213 00:09:56,722 00:09:58,352 -Right. -So you know already? -Right. -So you know already?
214 00:09:58,432 00:09:59,472 Yep. Yep.
215 00:09:59,558 00:10:01,138 So, you'll take care of it? So, you'll take care of it?
216 00:10:01,226 00:10:02,306 No. No.
217 00:10:03,687 00:10:04,767 What the fuck? What the fuck?
218 00:10:04,855 00:10:07,815 Roy, I learned two pretty big lessons Roy, I learned two pretty big lessons
219 00:10:07,900 00:10:10,820 on the rough-and-tumble playgrounds of Brookridge Elementary School. on the rough-and-tumble playgrounds of Brookridge Elementary School.
220 00:10:11,486 00:10:14,486 One, if little Ronnie Fowch offers you a candy bar, One, if little Ronnie Fowch offers you a candy bar,
221 00:10:14,573 00:10:17,083 you immediately say no, and you get the hell outta there. you immediately say no, and you get the hell outta there.
222 00:10:17,659 00:10:18,909 'Cause there's a good chance 'Cause there's a good chance
223 00:10:18,994 00:10:22,124 that little son of a gun has just pooped inside of a Butterfinger wrapper. that little son of a gun has just pooped inside of a Butterfinger wrapper.
224 00:10:22,831 00:10:25,211 No one ever saw him do it, but a couple people ate it. No one ever saw him do it, but a couple people ate it.
225 00:10:25,292 00:10:28,422 Number two, if the teacher tells the bully not to pick on someone, Number two, if the teacher tells the bully not to pick on someone,
226 00:10:28,504 00:10:29,844 it's just gonna make it worse. it's just gonna make it worse.
227 00:10:29,922 00:10:31,382 So, you're not gonna do anything? So, you're not gonna do anything?
228 00:10:32,216 00:10:33,336 No. No.
229 00:10:33,425 00:10:34,425 [scoffs] [scoffs]
230 00:10:39,223 00:10:40,433 Why you winding him up? Why you winding him up?
231 00:10:41,141 00:10:42,181 He's the one, Coach. He's the one, Coach.
232 00:10:42,267 00:10:44,307 If we're gonna make an impact here, If we're gonna make an impact here,
233 00:10:44,394 00:10:47,654 the first domino that needs to fall is right inside that man's heart. the first domino that needs to fall is right inside that man's heart.
234 00:10:57,616 00:10:58,616 Yes. Yes.
235 00:11:00,035 00:11:03,745 -Jamie, can I ask you something? -It's 40 kilos. I do three sets of ten. -Jamie, can I ask you something? -It's 40 kilos. I do three sets of ten.
236 00:11:04,331 00:11:08,791 And then I alternate between bis... [grunts] and tris. And then I alternate between bis... [grunts] and tris.
237 00:11:08,877 00:11:11,457 I don't give a shit what you lift, you little pretty boy. I don't give a shit what you lift, you little pretty boy.
238 00:11:11,547 00:11:13,217 Yeah, you do, 'cause you asked. Yeah, you do, 'cause you asked.
239 00:11:14,216 00:11:15,546 Can you curl 40 kilos? Can you curl 40 kilos?
240 00:11:15,634 00:11:17,514 No, but I can use your balls as a speed bag. No, but I can use your balls as a speed bag.
241 00:11:17,594 00:11:19,724 -Do you wanna try that? -Not especially. -Do you wanna try that? -Not especially.
242 00:11:20,430 00:11:22,560 Do you even understand the influence you have on this team? Do you even understand the influence you have on this team?
243 00:11:22,641 00:11:24,481 -I'm the shit, yeah. -No, you're a bellend. -I'm the shit, yeah. -No, you're a bellend.
244 00:11:24,560 00:11:28,060 But because your right foot was kissed by God the boys look up to you. But because your right foot was kissed by God the boys look up to you.
245 00:11:28,146 00:11:29,686 It's made me question my own faith. It's made me question my own faith.
246 00:11:30,190 00:11:31,480 So, when they pick on Nate... So, when they pick on Nate...
247 00:11:31,567 00:11:33,067 [chuckles] [chuckles]
248 00:11:33,151 00:11:34,281 ...and you laugh... ...and you laugh...
249 00:11:34,820 00:11:35,820 Yeah. Yeah.
250 00:11:35,904 00:11:37,454 ...they think it's okay. ...they think it's okay.
251 00:11:37,531 00:11:41,291 Right, 'cause Nate's a weak baby and he can't do anything about it. Right, 'cause Nate's a weak baby and he can't do anything about it.
252 00:11:41,702 00:11:43,372 [chuckling] [chuckling]
253 00:11:46,248 00:11:48,748 Yeah, all right. I'll take care of it. Nate's a good lad. Yeah, all right. I'll take care of it. Nate's a good lad.
254 00:11:49,168 00:11:50,248 Good. Good.
255 00:11:51,670 00:11:52,920 Hey, Roy. You comin' to the club tonight? Hey, Roy. You comin' to the club tonight?
256 00:11:53,005 00:11:54,205 Hold on, will you be there? Hold on, will you be there?
257 00:11:54,298 00:11:56,378 -Of course, bruv. -Then fuck no. -Of course, bruv. -Then fuck no.
258 00:11:57,926 00:11:59,506 Colin, Isaac, come here. Colin, Isaac, come here.
259 00:12:01,054 00:12:02,854 You know how you two are always messing with Nate? You know how you two are always messing with Nate?
260 00:12:02,931 00:12:04,101 -Yeah. -Yeah. -Yeah. -Yeah.
261 00:12:07,769 00:12:09,269 Keep it up. Makes me laugh. Keep it up. Makes me laugh.
262 00:12:16,195 00:12:17,195 [clears throat] [clears throat]
263 00:12:17,279 00:12:19,359 -Good morning, Higgins. -Oh, good morning. I was just-- -Good morning, Higgins. -Oh, good morning. I was just--
264 00:12:19,448 00:12:21,908 Waiting at the entrance so I'd see you were here on time. Waiting at the entrance so I'd see you were here on time.
265 00:12:21,992 00:12:24,242 Exactly. You seem in good spirits. Exactly. You seem in good spirits.
266 00:12:24,328 00:12:26,908 Yes, I am. I've just realized something. Yes, I am. I've just realized something.
267 00:12:26,997 00:12:28,917 Who cares if we can't run that picture? Who cares if we can't run that picture?
268 00:12:28,999 00:12:30,879 The bigger issue is that the local community The bigger issue is that the local community
269 00:12:30,959 00:12:33,419 is getting behind the team no matter how badly they play. is getting behind the team no matter how badly they play.
270 00:12:33,504 00:12:34,464 Mm. Mm.
271 00:12:34,546 00:12:36,376 It is an outstanding fan base. It is an outstanding fan base.
272 00:12:36,465 00:12:39,005 Yes, one I believe I can put an end to. Yes, one I believe I can put an end to.
273 00:12:39,092 00:12:40,802 Hooray. [chuckles] Hooray. [chuckles]
274 00:12:40,886 00:12:42,096 [Rebecca] No. [Rebecca] No.
275 00:12:42,179 00:12:44,139 Okay. I'll go back there. Okay. I'll go back there.
276 00:12:44,223 00:12:46,273 -[Ted] Here you go. -[Rebecca] Thank you. -[Ted] Here you go. -[Rebecca] Thank you.
277 00:12:46,350 00:12:48,560 So, I spoke to the owner of The Sun. So, I spoke to the owner of The Sun.
278 00:12:48,644 00:12:49,854 You spoke to God? You spoke to God?
279 00:12:50,479 00:12:51,859 -No, the newspaper. -Oh, right. -No, the newspaper. -Oh, right.
280 00:12:51,939 00:12:55,529 And he has agreed to not run the photo of you and Keeley. And he has agreed to not run the photo of you and Keeley.
281 00:12:56,151 00:13:00,161 -MVP! MVP! MVP! -[chuckles] -MVP! MVP! MVP! -[chuckles]
282 00:13:00,239 00:13:02,409 -Left leg! Whoo! Right leg, not as good! -Okay. -Left leg! Whoo! Right leg, not as good! -Okay.
283 00:13:02,491 00:13:04,081 -Yeah! -Yes. Okay, thank you, Ted. -Yeah! -Yes. Okay, thank you, Ted.
284 00:13:04,159 00:13:05,829 Sorry. Yeah, no. You were saying. Go ahead. Sorry. Yeah, no. You were saying. Go ahead.
285 00:13:05,911 00:13:06,911 In exchange, In exchange,
286 00:13:06,995 00:13:10,365 I've agreed for his more reputable newspaper, The Independent, I've agreed for his more reputable newspaper, The Independent,
287 00:13:10,457 00:13:11,957 to do a profile on you. to do a profile on you.
288 00:13:12,042 00:13:13,342 "One-on-One with Coach Lasso." "One-on-One with Coach Lasso."
289 00:13:13,418 00:13:14,498 Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay.
290 00:13:14,586 00:13:17,126 -The writer will be Trent Crimm. -Hmm. -The writer will be Trent Crimm. -Hmm.
291 00:13:17,214 00:13:20,224 And he's very good, and the supporters really listen to him. And he's very good, and the supporters really listen to him.
292 00:13:20,300 00:13:22,680 Oh, no. I know Trent, yeah. He's a tough cookie. Oh, no. I know Trent, yeah. He's a tough cookie.
293 00:13:22,761 00:13:24,971 -Really? -Yeah, but that's okay. -Really? -Yeah, but that's okay.
294 00:13:25,055 00:13:26,555 You know what you do with tough cookies, don't ya? You know what you do with tough cookies, don't ya?
295 00:13:26,640 00:13:29,020 -No. -Dip 'em in milk. [chuckles] -No. -Dip 'em in milk. [chuckles]
296 00:13:29,101 00:13:30,311 [chuckles] [chuckles]
297 00:13:30,394 00:13:32,104 [Ted] All right, let's run that new one. [Ted] All right, let's run that new one.
298 00:13:32,187 00:13:33,897 [players chattering] [players chattering]
299 00:13:36,483 00:13:37,823 Hey, there he is. Hey, there he is.
300 00:13:37,901 00:13:39,861 Hello, Coach Ted Lasso from America. Hello, Coach Ted Lasso from America.
301 00:13:39,945 00:13:42,275 Hello, Trent Crimm from The Independent. Hello, Trent Crimm from The Independent.
302 00:13:42,364 00:13:44,324 Hey, excited to spend the day with ya. Gonna be fun. Hey, excited to spend the day with ya. Gonna be fun.
303 00:13:44,408 00:13:45,778 And please, call me Ted. And please, call me Ted.
304 00:13:46,785 00:13:48,035 All right, let's go! All right, let's go!
305 00:13:48,704 00:13:50,874 [players shouting] [players shouting]
306 00:13:53,876 00:13:54,956 [Ted] Wide open. [Ted] Wide open.
307 00:13:55,043 00:13:56,883 -[player] Yeah! -[Ted] Ooh! Snuck it by him. -[player] Yeah! -[Ted] Ooh! Snuck it by him.
308 00:13:59,631 00:14:01,841 -[players cheering] -[blows whistle] -[players cheering] -[blows whistle]
309 00:14:03,468 00:14:04,968 Thataway, Sammy. How'd that feel? Thataway, Sammy. How'd that feel?
310 00:14:05,053 00:14:07,683 Oh, wonderful, Coach. I felt that one in my penis. Oh, wonderful, Coach. I felt that one in my penis.
311 00:14:07,764 00:14:09,644 Yeah. No, that sounds about right. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. No, that sounds about right. That's good. Yeah.
312 00:14:09,725 00:14:12,225 Hey, Jamie, you gotta sell that run-through hard, baby. Hey, Jamie, you gotta sell that run-through hard, baby.
313 00:14:12,311 00:14:13,981 Make the defense believe you. Watch, like this. Make the defense believe you. Watch, like this.
314 00:14:14,062 00:14:15,612 Ball! Ball! Give me the ball! Ball! Ball! Give me the ball!
315 00:14:15,689 00:14:18,529 I want the ball! Give me the ball! I would like the ball, please! I want the ball! Give me the ball! I would like the ball, please!
316 00:14:18,609 00:14:19,609 Make it a performance. Make it a performance.
317 00:14:19,693 00:14:21,953 I want you winning an Oscar at the ESPYs next year. I want you winning an Oscar at the ESPYs next year.
318 00:14:22,029 00:14:23,359 You want me to run decoy? You want me to run decoy?
319 00:14:23,447 00:14:24,407 Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's right.
320 00:14:24,489 00:14:25,449 It's a joke. It's a joke.
321 00:14:25,949 00:14:28,449 Unfortunately for you, though, no one thinks it's funny. Unfortunately for you, though, no one thinks it's funny.
322 00:14:28,535 00:14:29,535 That true? That true?
323 00:14:29,620 00:14:32,160 Um, agree to disagree. I find it hilarious. Um, agree to disagree. I find it hilarious.
324 00:14:32,247 00:14:33,537 I thought it was funnier than Step Brothers. I thought it was funnier than Step Brothers.
325 00:14:33,624 00:14:34,504 Ooh. High praise. Ooh. High praise.
326 00:14:35,000 00:14:36,790 That scene where the bunk bed collapses... That scene where the bunk bed collapses...
327 00:14:37,211 00:14:39,461 I used to think that was the funniest thing I'd ever seen, I used to think that was the funniest thing I'd ever seen,
328 00:14:39,546 00:14:40,546 but then I just saw that. but then I just saw that.
329 00:14:40,631 00:14:42,631 And now I'm gonna have to rethink my order of what I think is And now I'm gonna have to rethink my order of what I think is
330 00:14:42,716 00:14:43,836 the funniest thing I've ever seen. the funniest thing I've ever seen.
331 00:14:43,926 00:14:47,216 Yeah, that's when sports and art combine, as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, that's when sports and art combine, as far as I'm concerned.
332 00:14:47,304 00:14:49,104 All right, fellas, let's run it again. Let's go. All right, fellas, let's run it again. Let's go.
333 00:14:49,181 00:14:50,181 Cheers. Cheers.
334 00:14:51,475 00:14:53,185 Yeah, they're getting it. They're getting it. Yeah, they're getting it. They're getting it.
335 00:14:53,268 00:14:55,398 Interesting play, Ted. Did you come up with this? Interesting play, Ted. Did you come up with this?
336 00:14:55,479 00:14:56,479 Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no.
337 00:14:56,563 00:14:58,733 This is all cooked up by our very own Nate the Great. This is all cooked up by our very own Nate the Great.
338 00:14:59,358 00:15:00,478 Who's "Nate the Great"? Who's "Nate the Great"?
339 00:15:01,443 00:15:02,443 Oh, yeah. There he is. Oh, yeah. There he is.
340 00:15:03,153 00:15:05,783 Someone's been walking their dog here. Found another poo. Someone's been walking their dog here. Found another poo.
341 00:15:06,323 00:15:07,323 Okay. Okay.
342 00:15:08,116 00:15:09,986 What exactly does "Nate the Great" do? What exactly does "Nate the Great" do?
343 00:15:10,494 00:15:11,914 I'm not exactly sure what his title is. I'm not exactly sure what his title is.
344 00:15:11,995 00:15:13,575 Hey, Coach. What is Nate's job around here? Hey, Coach. What is Nate's job around here?
345 00:15:13,664 00:15:15,424 -Kit man. -There you go. Kit man. -Kit man. -There you go. Kit man.
346 00:15:16,542 00:15:19,462 Do you mean to tell me you're entrusting a Premier League team's attack Do you mean to tell me you're entrusting a Premier League team's attack
347 00:15:19,545 00:15:20,495 to the kit man? to the kit man?
348 00:15:20,587 00:15:23,127 That young fellow's forgotten more about this sport than I'll ever know. That young fellow's forgotten more about this sport than I'll ever know.
349 00:15:23,215 00:15:25,335 [chuckles] Heck, might be a genius. [chuckles] Heck, might be a genius.
350 00:15:25,425 00:15:26,675 Anything to add, Coach? Anything to add, Coach?
351 00:15:26,760 00:15:27,760 Good kid. Good kid.
352 00:15:29,346 00:15:30,346 Boy, oh boy. Boy, oh boy.
353 00:15:30,430 00:15:32,220 If you knew Coach Beard, you'd know what a big deal that was. If you knew Coach Beard, you'd know what a big deal that was.
354 00:15:32,307 00:15:34,557 You mean that, don't you? Whoa. You mean that, don't you? Whoa.
355 00:15:35,060 00:15:36,560 Well, hell. There's your story right there. Well, hell. There's your story right there.
356 00:15:36,645 00:15:39,645 Got a headline and everything. "Man Nods Head." Got a headline and everything. "Man Nods Head."
357 00:15:39,731 00:15:40,861 Watch your back, Gay Talese. Watch your back, Gay Talese.
358 00:15:40,941 00:15:44,991 There's a new iconic profile about to be typed up by one Trent Crimm. There's a new iconic profile about to be typed up by one Trent Crimm.
359 00:15:45,070 00:15:46,450 Tighten up those lines! Tighten up those lines!
360 00:15:47,281 00:15:48,371 Let 'em know, Coach. Let 'em know, Coach.
361 00:15:50,784 00:15:51,794 Come on. Come on.
362 00:15:52,995 00:15:53,995 Get a towel. Get a towel.
363 00:15:54,079 00:15:55,999 -[Nathan] Oh, God. No, no, no. -[Colin] Get a towel. -[Nathan] Oh, God. No, no, no. -[Colin] Get a towel.
364 00:15:56,081 00:15:59,041 -Let go. Please, God. Stop it. No. -[Roy] Oi, oi! -Let go. Please, God. Stop it. No. -[Roy] Oi, oi!
365 00:15:59,126 00:16:00,626 What the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you doing?
366 00:16:01,420 00:16:03,050 Jamie not talk to you about leaving him alone? Jamie not talk to you about leaving him alone?
367 00:16:07,176 00:16:08,836 Fuck's sake. Fuck's sake.
368 00:16:14,892 00:16:16,482 [wolf whistle] [wolf whistle]
369 00:16:17,978 00:16:20,108 -You look like you've forgotten something. -Hi, Keeley. -You look like you've forgotten something. -Hi, Keeley.
370 00:16:20,189 00:16:22,939 I'm looking for your prick boyfriend. You know how to pick 'em, don't ya? I'm looking for your prick boyfriend. You know how to pick 'em, don't ya?
371 00:16:23,025 00:16:26,815 Um, didn't your last girlfriend steal your Rolex and sell it for drug money? Um, didn't your last girlfriend steal your Rolex and sell it for drug money?
372 00:16:26,904 00:16:29,494 So? I don't need a phone and a watch. So? I don't need a phone and a watch.
373 00:16:30,282 00:16:32,872 Look, I didn't sign up to be your boyfriend's minder, okay? Look, I didn't sign up to be your boyfriend's minder, okay?
374 00:16:32,951 00:16:35,791 But the new gaffer's trying to make me feel responsible But the new gaffer's trying to make me feel responsible
375 00:16:35,871 00:16:39,371 for fucking Nate, whose last name I don't even know. for fucking Nate, whose last name I don't even know.
376 00:16:39,458 00:16:40,628 It's Barnes. It's Barnes.
377 00:16:40,709 00:16:41,749 No. It's Shelley. No. It's Shelley.
378 00:16:41,835 00:16:42,835 [chuckling] Yeah, I know. [chuckling] Yeah, I know.
379 00:16:42,920 00:16:44,210 I don't like being tricked. I don't like being tricked.
380 00:16:44,296 00:16:48,126 Not by you and not by, [mocking] "Howdy y'all, cowboys. Not by you and not by, [mocking] "Howdy y'all, cowboys.
381 00:16:48,217 00:16:51,137 My name is Ted Lasso and I'm from Kansas." My name is Ted Lasso and I'm from Kansas."
382 00:16:51,220 00:16:52,680 [imitates gunshots] [imitates gunshots]
383 00:16:53,514 00:16:56,184 Wow, you're, like, really, really bad at impressions, man. Wow, you're, like, really, really bad at impressions, man.
384 00:16:56,266 00:17:01,226 I know he's trying to push my buttons, but I cannot be manipulated. I know he's trying to push my buttons, but I cannot be manipulated.
385 00:17:01,313 00:17:04,323 Come on. I could push all of your buttons right now if I wanted to. Come on. I could push all of your buttons right now if I wanted to.
386 00:17:04,398 00:17:06,278 -No, you couldn't, Keeley-- -I think, actually, I could. -No, you couldn't, Keeley-- -I think, actually, I could.
387 00:17:06,359 00:17:08,529 -You couldn't, Keeley-- No, Keeley. -What was that? I can't seem to hear you. -You couldn't, Keeley-- No, Keeley. -What was that? I can't seem to hear you.
388 00:17:08,612 00:17:10,742 -Keeley, if you would listen to me-- -I'm trying to listen to you. -Keeley, if you would listen to me-- -I'm trying to listen to you.
389 00:17:10,821 00:17:12,071 -I could tell you why-- -So tell me. -I could tell you why-- -So tell me.
390 00:17:13,032 00:17:14,702 Is that making you mad? Is that making you mad?
391 00:17:15,618 00:17:16,618 No. No.
392 00:17:17,579 00:17:18,579 No. No.
393 00:17:21,708 00:17:26,088 [mocking] "I'm Roy Kent and I get paid to play a game, [mocking] "I'm Roy Kent and I get paid to play a game,
394 00:17:26,171 00:17:28,421 but I'm mad all the time." but I'm mad all the time."
395 00:17:28,507 00:17:29,757 [grunts] [grunts]
396 00:17:30,884 00:17:32,224 [chuckles] [chuckles]
397 00:17:34,179 00:17:35,429 That's actually pretty good. That's actually pretty good.
398 00:17:43,814 00:17:45,074 -Hey, Trent. -Mm? -Hey, Trent. -Mm?
399 00:17:45,148 00:17:47,398 -You know who you remind me of right now? -No. Who? -You know who you remind me of right now? -No. Who?
400 00:17:47,484 00:17:48,994 One of them robot vacuums. One of them robot vacuums.
401 00:17:49,987 00:17:51,817 Just kinda wandering around looking for dirt. Just kinda wandering around looking for dirt.
402 00:17:51,905 00:17:53,565 -Roomba. -That's the one. -Roomba. -That's the one.
403 00:17:54,283 00:17:55,833 -Actually, I have a question. -Mm-hmm. -Actually, I have a question. -Mm-hmm.
404 00:17:55,909 00:17:57,869 After your resounding loss to Crystal Palace, After your resounding loss to Crystal Palace,
405 00:17:57,953 00:18:00,713 one of your players said there was a party in the locker room. one of your players said there was a party in the locker room.
406 00:18:00,789 00:18:03,829 Do you feel it sends the right message having a party after a loss? Do you feel it sends the right message having a party after a loss?
407 00:18:04,960 00:18:08,380 Well, Trent, I've never really concerned myself too much with wins and losses. Well, Trent, I've never really concerned myself too much with wins and losses.
408 00:18:08,463 00:18:10,513 Now that's a quote I'll probably use. Now that's a quote I'll probably use.
409 00:18:10,591 00:18:11,591 You should get going. You should get going.
410 00:18:12,217 00:18:13,887 Hey, will you let Roy know we're heading out soon? Hey, will you let Roy know we're heading out soon?
411 00:18:13,969 00:18:15,219 -Copy. -Thanks, Coach. -Copy. -Thanks, Coach.
412 00:18:15,304 00:18:18,474 You wanna tag along? We're gonna go speak to some schoolkids. You wanna tag along? We're gonna go speak to some schoolkids.
413 00:18:18,557 00:18:20,057 Oh, what a coincidence. Oh, what a coincidence.
414 00:18:20,142 00:18:23,272 The day of our interview you just happen to be visiting a local school. The day of our interview you just happen to be visiting a local school.
415 00:18:23,353 00:18:25,733 Well, that's the funny thing about coincidences, ain't it? Well, that's the funny thing about coincidences, ain't it?
416 00:18:26,523 00:18:27,823 Sometimes they just happen. Sometimes they just happen.
417 00:18:28,734 00:18:29,904 Come on now. Come on now.
418 00:18:30,819 00:18:32,569 -[knocking] -Come in. -[knocking] -Come in.
419 00:18:32,654 00:18:35,994 I just wanted to come and thank you again for stopping that picture from running. I just wanted to come and thank you again for stopping that picture from running.
420 00:18:36,575 00:18:37,825 And I bought you a present. And I bought you a present.
421 00:18:42,289 00:18:43,419 Made me think of you. Made me think of you.
422 00:18:44,374 00:18:45,924 It's strong and a bit prickly. It's strong and a bit prickly.
423 00:18:49,254 00:18:51,094 You know, I've decided to not be scared of you anymore. You know, I've decided to not be scared of you anymore.
424 00:18:51,715 00:18:52,835 I didn't know you were. I didn't know you were.
425 00:18:52,925 00:18:54,885 Oh, yeah. I was, like, fucking terrified of you. Oh, yeah. I was, like, fucking terrified of you.
426 00:18:54,968 00:18:57,678 My God, Jamie would have been so pissed off My God, Jamie would have been so pissed off
427 00:18:57,763 00:19:00,063 with reporters poking around in our love life. [groans] with reporters poking around in our love life. [groans]
428 00:19:01,099 00:19:03,479 I don't know why I'm telling you. You know all about that, don't you? I don't know why I'm telling you. You know all about that, don't you?
429 00:19:03,560 00:19:05,060 Remember when you got divorced? Remember when you got divorced?
430 00:19:05,562 00:19:06,692 It rings a bell. It rings a bell.
431 00:19:06,772 00:19:08,692 Yeah, I mean, didn't it, like, make you really mad Yeah, I mean, didn't it, like, make you really mad
432 00:19:08,774 00:19:10,444 that they went after you and not Rupert? that they went after you and not Rupert?
433 00:19:10,526 00:19:13,146 'Cause he was the one that cheated and he came across like Prince Charming. 'Cause he was the one that cheated and he came across like Prince Charming.
434 00:19:13,237 00:19:15,527 It really pissed me off. It really pissed me off.
435 00:19:16,448 00:19:18,908 Well, the press are never awful to men. Well, the press are never awful to men.
436 00:19:19,451 00:19:22,621 No one ever pays a fortune for a photo of a naked man on a yacht in Mallorca No one ever pays a fortune for a photo of a naked man on a yacht in Mallorca
437 00:19:22,704 00:19:23,914 a week after his divorce. a week after his divorce.
438 00:19:23,997 00:19:26,247 Whoa. That's like a very specific scenario. Whoa. That's like a very specific scenario.
439 00:19:26,333 00:19:28,963 Oh, my God. That means there's a picture of you naked on a yacht. Oh, my God. That means there's a picture of you naked on a yacht.
440 00:19:29,044 00:19:30,004 Can I see it? Is it here? Can I see it? Is it here?
441 00:19:30,087 00:19:33,337 Come on. You wouldn't have said something if you weren't dying to show someone. Come on. You wouldn't have said something if you weren't dying to show someone.
442 00:19:33,882 00:19:34,882 Please. Please.
443 00:19:35,884 00:19:36,934 [sighs] [sighs]
444 00:19:37,010 00:19:40,390 It was taken from a helicopter while I was sunbathing. It was taken from a helicopter while I was sunbathing.
445 00:19:40,472 00:19:41,972 [gasps] [gasps]
446 00:19:42,057 00:19:44,137 Holy shit, Rebecca. Holy shit, Rebecca.
447 00:19:44,685 00:19:46,055 Are those your real tits? Are those your real tits?
448 00:19:46,144 00:19:48,524 I feel like a teenage boy. I can't stop staring at them. I feel like a teenage boy. I can't stop staring at them.
449 00:19:48,605 00:19:50,355 Where did you get those? Where did you get those?
450 00:19:50,440 00:19:51,530 My mum. My mum.
451 00:19:51,608 00:19:53,358 I can't believe you stopped this from running. I can't believe you stopped this from running.
452 00:19:53,443 00:19:54,743 I would have shown everyone. I would have shown everyone.
453 00:19:54,820 00:19:57,660 Right. I-I really need to get on. Right. I-I really need to get on.
454 00:19:58,490 00:19:59,780 Oh, sorry. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah.
455 00:20:00,242 00:20:01,242 Thank you. Thank you.
456 00:20:02,077 00:20:03,367 [Keeley clears throat] [Keeley clears throat]
457 00:20:04,913 00:20:05,963 Bye. Bye.
458 00:20:06,707 00:20:07,707 Shoes. Shoes.
459 00:20:08,542 00:20:10,252 Shoes. Yes. Shoes. Yes.
460 00:20:11,712 00:20:13,212 Wow, you really blew my brains out Wow, you really blew my brains out
461 00:20:13,297 00:20:15,257 with those beautiful breasts of yours, Rebecca. with those beautiful breasts of yours, Rebecca.
462 00:20:17,426 00:20:19,466 -[school bell rings] -[chattering] -[school bell rings] -[chattering]
463 00:20:28,520 00:20:30,440 -[clears throat] -[chattering stops] -[clears throat] -[chattering stops]
464 00:20:30,522 00:20:32,862 When I first saw our school football squad, When I first saw our school football squad,
465 00:20:33,609 00:20:36,819 I didn't think that Richmond Primary would win a single game, I didn't think that Richmond Primary would win a single game,
466 00:20:37,404 00:20:39,784 much less the league championship. much less the league championship.
467 00:20:40,407 00:20:42,407 [cheering] [cheering]
468 00:20:46,955 00:20:48,575 [applause stops] [applause stops]
469 00:20:48,665 00:20:53,205 To celebrate, please welcome the new manager of AFC Richmond, To celebrate, please welcome the new manager of AFC Richmond,
470 00:20:53,295 00:20:54,795 Ed Lasso. Ed Lasso.
471 00:20:54,880 00:20:56,470 [scattered applause] [scattered applause]
472 00:20:57,299 00:20:58,799 Thank you. I appreciate you. Thank you. I appreciate you.
473 00:20:58,884 00:21:01,224 All right. Hey, gang. How y'all doing? All right. Hey, gang. How y'all doing?
474 00:21:02,179 00:21:04,009 -[boy] Wanker. -Jacob. -[boy] Wanker. -Jacob.
475 00:21:04,097 00:21:05,267 [laughter] [laughter]
476 00:21:05,766 00:21:06,846 It's all right. It's all right.
477 00:21:06,934 00:21:08,814 Uh, look, I just wanted to come down Uh, look, I just wanted to come down
478 00:21:08,894 00:21:11,024 and congratulate y'all on a heck of a season. and congratulate y'all on a heck of a season.
479 00:21:11,104 00:21:14,274 But hey, I know someone else who's really excited to meet all of ya. But hey, I know someone else who's really excited to meet all of ya.
480 00:21:14,358 00:21:15,938 So if you please help me welcome So if you please help me welcome
481 00:21:16,026 00:21:19,856 the captain of your AFC Richmond squad, Roy Kent. the captain of your AFC Richmond squad, Roy Kent.
482 00:21:19,947 00:21:22,317 [cheering] [cheering]
483 00:21:22,407 00:21:25,237 [chanting] Roy! Roy! Roy! Roy! [chanting] Roy! Roy! Roy! Roy!
484 00:21:25,786 00:21:27,406 Right. [clears throat] Right. [clears throat]
485 00:21:27,496 00:21:32,076 Never been much for public speaking or school, really. Never been much for public speaking or school, really.
486 00:21:32,793 00:21:34,593 Always seemed like a waste of time to me. Always seemed like a waste of time to me.
487 00:21:36,880 00:21:38,920 -[boy sniffles] -[girl coughs] -[boy sniffles] -[girl coughs]
488 00:21:39,007 00:21:41,257 Why don't we get out of this stuffy auditorium, Why don't we get out of this stuffy auditorium,
489 00:21:41,343 00:21:43,473 go out on the pitch and have a proper fuck-about? go out on the pitch and have a proper fuck-about?
490 00:21:43,554 00:21:45,144 [gasping] [gasping]
491 00:21:46,056 00:21:48,676 [cheering, screaming] [cheering, screaming]
492 00:21:56,066 00:21:57,816 I think it's really cool you do this. I think it's really cool you do this.
493 00:21:57,901 00:21:59,951 Only doing it 'cause my fucking niece goes here. Only doing it 'cause my fucking niece goes here.
494 00:22:00,028 00:22:02,608 -Oh, yeah? Which one is she? -That idiot. -Oh, yeah? Which one is she? -That idiot.
495 00:22:06,285 00:22:07,535 Oh, boy, here she comes. Oh, boy, here she comes.
496 00:22:08,287 00:22:09,617 Can we do headers, Uncle Roy? Can we do headers, Uncle Roy?
497 00:22:09,705 00:22:10,995 Yeah, all right. Come on then. Yeah, all right. Come on then.
498 00:22:12,124 00:22:13,794 All right. Come on, you lot. Line up. All right. Come on, you lot. Line up.
499 00:22:13,876 00:22:15,746 Heads. Lovely. Heads. Lovely.
500 00:22:15,836 00:22:17,546 Next. Go. Perfect. Next. Go. Perfect.
501 00:22:17,629 00:22:19,169 Next. Heads. Next. Heads.
502 00:22:19,840 00:22:20,840 Next. Next.
503 00:22:23,385 00:22:24,795 Well done. Next. Well done. Next.
504 00:22:27,139 00:22:28,139 Ooh, ooh! Ooh, ooh!
505 00:22:28,223 00:22:30,563 Next. Sweet. Next. Sweet.
506 00:22:30,976 00:22:32,056 Lovely. I liked it. Lovely. I liked it.
507 00:22:33,937 00:22:35,187 -Good. -Roy, come on. -Good. -Roy, come on.
508 00:22:35,272 00:22:37,072 You hop in there, show 'em how it's done. I'll do a couple. You hop in there, show 'em how it's done. I'll do a couple.
509 00:22:37,149 00:22:38,439 How you doing? Ready? Come on. How you doing? Ready? Come on.
510 00:22:38,525 00:22:40,025 Ooh, that's the spot. Come on. Ooh, that's the spot. Come on.
511 00:22:40,110 00:22:42,240 Here we go, Phoebe. Let's see what you got. Here we go, Phoebe. Let's see what you got.
512 00:22:42,321 00:22:45,161 Hey, nice catch. We might have ourselves a goalie. [grunts] Hey, nice catch. We might have ourselves a goalie. [grunts]
513 00:22:45,240 00:22:47,280 [groans] Boy, oh boy. That was right in the button. [groans] Boy, oh boy. That was right in the button.
514 00:22:47,367 00:22:48,287 Aah. Aah.
515 00:22:48,785 00:22:49,615 Good job, Phoebe. Good job, Phoebe.
516 00:22:50,662 00:22:52,002 [school bell rings] [school bell rings]
517 00:22:54,791 00:22:56,421 [Ted] Oh! Oh boy. [Ted] Oh! Oh boy.
518 00:22:56,502 00:22:57,922 Sorry about the blood there. Sorry about the blood there.
519 00:22:59,421 00:23:00,421 There you go. There you go.
520 00:23:00,506 00:23:01,756 Don't use it to clone me. Don't use it to clone me.
521 00:23:01,840 00:23:04,050 Nice meeting you. Take care now. Nice meeting you. Take care now.
522 00:23:05,260 00:23:07,760 That's the longest anyone's ever stayed for something like this. That's the longest anyone's ever stayed for something like this.
523 00:23:07,846 00:23:09,596 -Hey, thanks for having us. -Cheers. -Hey, thanks for having us. -Cheers.
524 00:23:09,681 00:23:10,681 Thanks again. Thanks again.
525 00:23:11,183 00:23:13,193 [laughs] Roy, that was a blast. [laughs] Roy, that was a blast.
526 00:23:13,268 00:23:15,728 And I tell you what, that niece of yours is a real cutie patootie. And I tell you what, that niece of yours is a real cutie patootie.
527 00:23:15,812 00:23:19,902 Enough. I've had it with your mind games and your stupid gifts. Enough. I've had it with your mind games and your stupid gifts.
528 00:23:19,983 00:23:22,403 I mean, what even is A Wrinkle in Time? I mean, what even is A Wrinkle in Time?
529 00:23:22,486 00:23:24,106 It's a lovely novel. It's a lovely novel.
530 00:23:24,196 00:23:27,236 It's the story of a young girl's struggle with the burden of leadership It's the story of a young girl's struggle with the burden of leadership
531 00:23:27,324 00:23:28,664 as she journeys through space. as she journeys through space.
532 00:23:29,618 00:23:30,618 Yeah. That's it. Yeah. That's it.
533 00:23:32,204 00:23:33,794 Am I supposed to be the little girl? Am I supposed to be the little girl?
534 00:23:34,331 00:23:35,421 I'd like you to be. I'd like you to be.
535 00:23:36,375 00:23:38,165 Right. None of this matters. Right. None of this matters.
536 00:23:38,252 00:23:40,382 'Cause I'm just doing what everyone in this town is doing, 'Cause I'm just doing what everyone in this town is doing,
537 00:23:40,462 00:23:42,382 and I'm counting down the days until you're gone. and I'm counting down the days until you're gone.
538 00:23:42,464 00:23:44,474 Trent, you're a colossal prick. You always have been. Trent, you're a colossal prick. You always have been.
539 00:23:46,260 00:23:47,510 Phoebe, come on. Phoebe, come on.
540 00:23:53,600 00:23:55,560 -Are you hungry? -Hmm. -Are you hungry? -Hmm.
541 00:23:56,019 00:23:57,019 [Trent] Little tradition. [Trent] Little tradition.
542 00:23:59,481 00:24:01,071 Let battle commence. Let battle commence.
543 00:24:01,525 00:24:02,725 Ted Lasso? Ted Lasso?
544 00:24:02,818 00:24:05,198 -Hey there, Ollie. -Leave it out. What are you doing here? -Hey there, Ollie. -Leave it out. What are you doing here?
545 00:24:05,279 00:24:06,739 Well, I mean, you invited me, remember? Well, I mean, you invited me, remember?
546 00:24:06,822 00:24:08,822 I invite every person who's been in my car. I invite every person who's been in my car.
547 00:24:08,907 00:24:11,367 Oh. Hey, Ollie. This is my friend Trent. Oh. Hey, Ollie. This is my friend Trent.
548 00:24:11,451 00:24:13,501 -Trent, this is my buddy Ollie. -Pleased to meet you. -Trent, this is my buddy Ollie. -Pleased to meet you.
549 00:24:13,579 00:24:15,789 Congrats. You both just met a cool person. Congrats. You both just met a cool person.
550 00:24:15,873 00:24:18,043 [laughs] Right, gentlemen. You know what you're having? [laughs] Right, gentlemen. You know what you're having?
551 00:24:18,625 00:24:20,495 Yeah. Well, you know, whatever the chef recommends. Yeah. Well, you know, whatever the chef recommends.
552 00:24:20,586 00:24:24,046 Uh, that would be my father-in-law. Are you okay with a little bit of spice? Uh, that would be my father-in-law. Are you okay with a little bit of spice?
553 00:24:24,131 00:24:26,471 Have him make it for us like we're a couple members of the family. Have him make it for us like we're a couple members of the family.
554 00:24:26,550 00:24:28,140 [chuckles] You're a brave man. [chuckles] You're a brave man.
555 00:24:31,138 00:24:33,018 Oh, man. Mad respect. Oh, man. Mad respect.
556 00:24:33,098 00:24:35,268 That might not be the wisest of choices. That might not be the wisest of choices.
557 00:24:36,727 00:24:38,807 [Ollie] Here you go, boys. [exhales] [Ollie] Here you go, boys. [exhales]
558 00:24:38,896 00:24:40,146 -Dig in. -[Ted] Can't wait. -Dig in. -[Ted] Can't wait.
559 00:24:40,230 00:24:42,320 The smell's already deep inside my brain. The smell's already deep inside my brain.
560 00:24:42,399 00:24:44,939 -Gonna love it. -I appreciate it. -Gonna love it. -I appreciate it.
561 00:24:45,027 00:24:47,737 I can't imagine they have good Indian food in Kansas. I can't imagine they have good Indian food in Kansas.
562 00:24:47,821 00:24:50,371 Oh, I have no idea. I've never had Indian food. Oh, I have no idea. I've never had Indian food.
563 00:24:57,039 00:24:59,369 -Whoo! -Ooh. -Whoo! -Ooh.
564 00:25:00,375 00:25:02,035 -[chuckles] -[Trent grunts] -[chuckles] -[Trent grunts]
565 00:25:02,127 00:25:03,707 Wow, that-- I mean, that's hot. Wow, that-- I mean, that's hot.
566 00:25:03,795 00:25:06,835 Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Feel like I'm about to breathe fire. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Feel like I'm about to breathe fire.
567 00:25:07,216 00:25:08,756 [Trent clears throat] [Trent clears throat]
568 00:25:08,842 00:25:09,932 I don't think I can eat that. I don't think I can eat that.
569 00:25:10,802 00:25:13,012 What? No, no, no. Come on now. We gotta put a decent dent in this, What? No, no, no. Come on now. We gotta put a decent dent in this,
570 00:25:13,096 00:25:15,386 otherwise we're gonna embarrass Ollie in front of his family. otherwise we're gonna embarrass Ollie in front of his family.
571 00:25:15,933 00:25:19,063 -No, really, I can't. -Come on, just dump it on my plate. -No, really, I can't. -Come on, just dump it on my plate.
572 00:25:19,853 00:25:20,943 [exhales] [exhales]
573 00:25:21,021 00:25:22,651 Yeah, yeah. You're good. Yeah, yeah. You're good.
574 00:25:22,731 00:25:25,321 So, if you love Kansas so much, why did you-- So, if you love Kansas so much, why did you--
575 00:25:26,109 00:25:30,199 Why did you leave to coach a sport you can barely-- you know anything about? Why did you leave to coach a sport you can barely-- you know anything about?
576 00:25:30,280 00:25:31,280 Was it just the money? Was it just the money?
577 00:25:31,865 00:25:33,575 Wait, I'm supposed to be getting paid? Wait, I'm supposed to be getting paid?
578 00:25:33,659 00:25:34,829 Are you enjoying the food? Are you enjoying the food?
579 00:25:35,285 00:25:37,115 Tell your father-in-law it's perfect. Tell your father-in-law it's perfect.
580 00:25:37,204 00:25:39,084 Ha! Dad! He says it's perfect! Ha! Dad! He says it's perfect!
581 00:25:41,041 00:25:42,081 -Ted. -Mm-hmm? -Ted. -Mm-hmm?
582 00:25:42,167 00:25:43,787 What you're doing is irresponsible. What you're doing is irresponsible.
583 00:25:44,253 00:25:46,263 This club actually means something to this town. This club actually means something to this town.
584 00:25:46,839 00:25:47,879 I know that. I know that.
585 00:25:47,965 00:25:48,965 I do. I do.
586 00:25:49,591 00:25:51,131 Trent, what do you love? Trent, what do you love?
587 00:25:53,220 00:25:54,220 Is it writing? Is it writing?
588 00:25:55,389 00:25:56,219 -Yes. -Yeah. -Yes. -Yeah.
589 00:25:56,306 00:25:57,806 Well, good, 'cause you're darn good at it. Well, good, 'cause you're darn good at it.
590 00:25:58,225 00:25:59,425 -Thank you. -You're welcome. -Thank you. -You're welcome.
591 00:25:59,518 00:26:01,438 Me? I love coaching. Me? I love coaching.
592 00:26:02,020 00:26:03,150 Now, I'm gonna say this again Now, I'm gonna say this again
593 00:26:03,230 00:26:05,770 just so you didn't think it was a mistake the first time I said it. just so you didn't think it was a mistake the first time I said it.
594 00:26:05,858 00:26:08,028 For me, success is not about the wins and losses. For me, success is not about the wins and losses.
595 00:26:08,610 00:26:11,280 It's about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves It's about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves
596 00:26:11,363 00:26:12,363 on and off the field. on and off the field.
597 00:26:12,865 00:26:14,275 And it ain't always easy, Trent, And it ain't always easy, Trent,
598 00:26:14,366 00:26:18,036 but neither is growing up without someone believing in you. but neither is growing up without someone believing in you.
599 00:26:19,705 00:26:20,825 Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this.
600 00:26:21,874 00:26:23,544 Is my tongue still in my mouth? Is my tongue still in my mouth?
601 00:26:23,625 00:26:26,035 'Cause I am about to hallucinate from all the heat here. 'Cause I am about to hallucinate from all the heat here.
602 00:26:29,047 00:26:30,047 I really should go. I really should go.
603 00:26:31,175 00:26:33,545 -Deadlines and all. -Hey, gotta do the work. -Deadlines and all. -Hey, gotta do the work.
604 00:26:33,635 00:26:34,885 Hey, I'll say this though. Hey, I'll say this though.
605 00:26:34,970 00:26:37,140 I really enjoyed getting to spend this time with you, Trent. I really enjoyed getting to spend this time with you, Trent.
606 00:26:38,265 00:26:39,465 You actually mean that, don't you? You actually mean that, don't you?
607 00:26:39,892 00:26:40,892 Yeah. Yeah.
608 00:26:41,894 00:26:42,814 Yeah. Yeah.
609 00:26:44,188 00:26:45,558 -Thank you. -You're welcome. -Thank you. -You're welcome.
610 00:26:46,106 00:26:46,936 [Ollie] You all right? [Ollie] You all right?
611 00:26:48,025 00:26:50,025 Normally, one dish is plenty, Normally, one dish is plenty,
612 00:26:50,110 00:26:52,780 but we know how you Americans like to eat, innit? but we know how you Americans like to eat, innit?
613 00:26:53,405 00:26:55,365 -Let's do it, huh? -[both chuckle] -Let's do it, huh? -[both chuckle]
614 00:26:55,449 00:26:56,579 Try that one. Try that one.
615 00:26:57,242 00:26:58,292 [exhales] [exhales]
616 00:27:00,704 00:27:01,714 Whoo! Whoo!
617 00:27:03,373 00:27:06,133 -Beautiful, right? -It's beyond beautiful. It's hot. -Beautiful, right? -It's beyond beautiful. It's hot.
618 00:27:08,837 00:27:10,877 "Mrs. Which's voice was grave. "Mrs. Which's voice was grave.
619 00:27:11,673 00:27:13,183 'What do you understand?' 'What do you understand?'
620 00:27:14,051 00:27:15,471 'That it has to be me. 'That it has to be me.
621 00:27:16,303 00:27:17,763 Can't be anyone else.'" Can't be anyone else.'"
622 00:27:22,267 00:27:23,347 Fuck! Fuck!
623 00:27:24,144 00:27:26,154 That's a bad word, Uncle Roy. That's a bad word, Uncle Roy.
624 00:27:26,230 00:27:27,900 Oh, mind your own business, Phoebe. Oh, mind your own business, Phoebe.
625 00:27:32,277 00:27:33,277 Be good. Be good.
626 00:27:33,362 00:27:34,362 [kisses] [kisses]
627 00:27:38,242 00:27:39,452 [sighs] [sighs]
628 00:27:40,786 00:27:43,996 -Yes? -I have an advance copy of the article. -Yes? -I have an advance copy of the article.
629 00:27:45,582 00:27:48,632 -Read it to me. -Title: "Wayward Ted." -Read it to me. -Title: "Wayward Ted."
630 00:27:49,336 00:27:52,416 "Whatever you think of Ted Lasso as a football coach, "Whatever you think of Ted Lasso as a football coach,
631 00:27:52,506 00:27:56,216 I assure you, the truth is harder to swallow." I assure you, the truth is harder to swallow."
632 00:27:56,301 00:27:59,011 -Hey, how you doing? -Good. How's your nose, Coach? -Hey, how you doing? -Good. How's your nose, Coach?
633 00:27:59,096 00:28:01,556 -It's fine. Thank you for asking. -[Higgins] "And swallow you must, -It's fine. Thank you for asking. -[Higgins] "And swallow you must,
634 00:28:01,640 00:28:04,060 because Ted is out there in the community because Ted is out there in the community
635 00:28:04,142 00:28:07,862 either bravely or stupidly facing the music." either bravely or stupidly facing the music."
636 00:28:07,938 00:28:10,018 -Hey, fellas. How you doing? -"That's for you to decide." -Hey, fellas. How you doing? -"That's for you to decide."
637 00:28:10,107 00:28:11,857 Piss off, wanker! Piss off, wanker!
638 00:28:11,942 00:28:13,112 [grunts] [grunts]
639 00:28:13,819 00:28:15,399 -Hi. -Yeah. -Hi. -Yeah.
640 00:28:15,487 00:28:17,027 -Stop it. -Every time. -Stop it. -Every time.
641 00:28:17,114 00:28:19,414 [Higgins] "And yes, he's in over his head. [Higgins] "And yes, he's in over his head.
642 00:28:19,491 00:28:23,701 He insisted twice that he didn't care if Richmond won or lost. He insisted twice that he didn't care if Richmond won or lost.
643 00:28:23,787 00:28:28,247 But if the Lasso way is wrong, it's hard to imagine being right." But if the Lasso way is wrong, it's hard to imagine being right."
644 00:28:29,501 00:28:30,711 Mm. Mm.
645 00:28:30,794 00:28:32,134 Why have you stopped reading? Why have you stopped reading?
646 00:28:32,212 00:28:33,212 [stammers] [stammers]
647 00:28:33,297 00:28:37,177 Please do me the favor of remembering that these aren't my words, it's Trent Crimm. Please do me the favor of remembering that these aren't my words, it's Trent Crimm.
648 00:28:38,051 00:28:39,051 Keep going. Keep going.
649 00:28:40,262 00:28:42,512 -"In a business that celebrates ego, -[Trent] ...celebrates ego, -"In a business that celebrates ego, -[Trent] ...celebrates ego,
650 00:28:42,598 00:28:43,968 -Ted reins his in." -Ted reins his in. -Ted reins his in." -Ted reins his in.
651 00:28:44,057 00:28:48,477 [Trent] His coaching style is subtle. It never hits you over the head. [Trent] His coaching style is subtle. It never hits you over the head.
652 00:28:48,562 00:28:51,612 Hello, Roy. I didn't know it was a retirement party. Hello, Roy. I didn't know it was a retirement party.
653 00:28:51,690 00:28:53,730 -[Roy grunts] -[gasps] -[Roy grunts] -[gasps]
654 00:28:53,817 00:28:54,817 Shit! Shit!
655 00:28:55,319 00:28:56,569 Stop messing with Nate! Stop messing with Nate!
656 00:28:57,321 00:28:58,781 Now, I don't know which one of you I nutted, Now, I don't know which one of you I nutted,
657 00:28:58,864 00:29:00,244 'cause I don't see so well at night anymore, 'cause I don't see so well at night anymore,
658 00:29:00,324 00:29:01,374 but that goes for all of you! but that goes for all of you!
659 00:29:02,159 00:29:05,999 [Trent] Slowly growing until you can no longer ignore its presence. [Trent] Slowly growing until you can no longer ignore its presence.
660 00:29:06,914 00:29:08,084 Vanilla vodka. Vanilla vodka.
661 00:29:09,291 00:29:10,291 Such a child. Such a child.
662 00:29:12,669 00:29:13,799 Keeley. Keeley.
663 00:29:13,879 00:29:14,879 Roy. Roy.
664 00:29:15,506 00:29:18,336 [Trent] Whether that means allowing followers to become leaders... [Trent] Whether that means allowing followers to become leaders...
665 00:29:18,425 00:29:20,005 [rumbling] [rumbling]
666 00:29:20,093 00:29:23,313 ...or in a show of respect, eating food so spicy ...or in a show of respect, eating food so spicy
667 00:29:23,388 00:29:26,558 it's sure to wreak massive havoc on his intestinal system. it's sure to wreak massive havoc on his intestinal system.
668 00:29:26,642 00:29:27,942 Keys, keys, keys. Keys, keys, keys.
669 00:29:28,018 00:29:30,018 -[keys jingle] -Okay, here we go. Oh boy. Oh boy. -[keys jingle] -Okay, here we go. Oh boy. Oh boy.
670 00:29:30,103 00:29:32,773 [Trent] And though I believe that Ted Lasso will fail here [Trent] And though I believe that Ted Lasso will fail here
671 00:29:32,856 00:29:35,896 and Richmond will suffer the embarrassment of relegation, and Richmond will suffer the embarrassment of relegation,
672 00:29:37,027 00:29:38,857 -I won't gloat when it happens. -[exhales] -I won't gloat when it happens. -[exhales]
673 00:29:40,030 00:29:42,070 Because I can't help but root for him. Because I can't help but root for him.
674 00:29:42,783 00:29:45,333 [groans] Fuck! [groans] Fuck!
675 00:29:46,954 00:29:49,964 [classical music playing] [classical music playing]