# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:06,840 00:00:09,132 Lisa Cramlin here with Graham Paul, Lisa Cramlin here with Graham Paul,
2 00:00:09,134 00:00:12,219 breaking down this afternoon's Richmond-Arsenal match. breaking down this afternoon's Richmond-Arsenal match.
3 00:00:12,221 00:00:14,471 - Welcome, Graham. - Pleasure to be here, Lisa. - Welcome, Graham. - Pleasure to be here, Lisa.
4 00:00:14,473 00:00:17,037 [LISA] So today was another tough day [LISA] So today was another tough day
5 00:00:17,039 00:00:19,976 for Roy Kent in a stretch of bad days. for Roy Kent in a stretch of bad days.
6 00:00:19,978 00:00:23,438 - In his last nine games, Kent has had... - [BUBBLING] - In his last nine games, Kent has had... - [BUBBLING]
7 00:00:23,440 00:00:25,857 ... while his turnovers have nearly doubled. ... while his turnovers have nearly doubled.
8 00:00:25,859 00:00:29,778 And today, it was an ignominious own goal... And today, it was an ignominious own goal...
9 00:00:29,780 00:00:30,862 There you are. There you are.
10 00:00:30,864 00:00:32,113 [ROY] Everyone gone? [ROY] Everyone gone?
11 00:00:32,115 00:00:34,324 Yes, sir. Well, except Rojas. Yes, sir. Well, except Rojas.
12 00:00:34,326 00:00:36,952 Darn kid's out on the practice pitch still doing drills. Darn kid's out on the practice pitch still doing drills.
13 00:00:36,954 00:00:38,578 [ROY] What a fucking asshole. [ROY] What a fucking asshole.
14 00:00:38,580 00:00:39,915 - Right? [CHUCKLES] - Yeah. - Right? [CHUCKLES] - Yeah.
15 00:00:41,583 00:00:43,166 [TED SIGHS] [TED SIGHS]
16 00:00:43,168 00:00:45,126 Somebody order a Roy on the rocks, huh? Somebody order a Roy on the rocks, huh?
17 00:00:45,128 00:00:47,045 How we doing in here? Whoo! How we doing in here? Whoo!
18 00:00:47,047 00:00:48,713 That is cold, man. That is cold, man.
19 00:00:48,715 00:00:52,008 Just looking at you in there is making me all chilly inside. [CHUCKLES] Just looking at you in there is making me all chilly inside. [CHUCKLES]
20 00:00:52,010 00:00:53,343 [TV CONTINUES, INDISTINCT] [TV CONTINUES, INDISTINCT]
21 00:00:53,345 00:00:56,221 Can you just tell me I fucked up and then go? Can you just tell me I fucked up and then go?
22 00:00:56,223 00:00:57,848 Not gonna do that, bud. Not gonna do that, bud.
23 00:00:57,850 00:01:00,141 I lost us the game. I'm a piece of shit. I lost us the game. I'm a piece of shit.
24 00:01:00,143 00:01:03,103 Easy now. You had a bad day. Big whoop. Easy now. You had a bad day. Big whoop.
25 00:01:03,105 00:01:04,436 "Big whoop"? "Big whoop"?
26 00:01:04,438 00:01:07,148 Yeah, big whoop. [CHUCKLES] Yeah, big whoop. [CHUCKLES]
27 00:01:07,150 00:01:09,860 You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet.
28 00:01:09,862 00:01:12,487 I don't wanna hear it. All right? I don't wanna hear it. All right?
29 00:01:12,489 00:01:17,035 So just, you know, knock it off. Go easy on yourself. Okay? So just, you know, knock it off. Go easy on yourself. Okay?
30 00:01:18,328 00:01:21,707 Hey. I got your back. Ain't nothing gonna change that. Hey. I got your back. Ain't nothing gonna change that.
31 00:01:22,749 00:01:25,419 Look at you in there, looking like a brunette Oscar the Grouch. Look at you in there, looking like a brunette Oscar the Grouch.
32 00:01:26,503 00:01:28,130 - On or off? - Off. - On or off? - Off.
33 00:01:30,424 00:01:33,383 [GRAHAM] You gotta stop holding on, Roy, please, for us, for you. [GRAHAM] You gotta stop holding on, Roy, please, for us, for you.
34 00:01:33,385 00:01:34,676 Let it go. Let it go.
35 00:01:34,678 00:01:36,178 - [LISA] There you go. - [DANI] Hola, Roy. - [LISA] There you go. - [DANI] Hola, Roy.
36 00:01:36,180 00:01:38,096 [LISA] We're taking a break. When we return, [LISA] We're taking a break. When we return,
37 00:01:38,098 00:01:41,892 we'll take a look at Jamie Tartt's brilliant day for Manchester City. we'll take a look at Jamie Tartt's brilliant day for Manchester City.
38 00:01:41,894 00:01:47,314 [DANI SINGING IN SPANISH] [DANI SINGING IN SPANISH]
39 00:01:47,316 00:01:49,318 [BUBBLING] [BUBBLING]
40 00:01:50,944 00:01:53,030 [THEME MUSIC PLAYS] [THEME MUSIC PLAYS]
41 00:02:12,382 00:02:15,636 That's it. Right there. Yep. Beautiful. That's it. Right there. Yep. Beautiful.
42 00:02:18,430 00:02:21,181 Oh, snap. Watch your back, Kate Moss. Oh, snap. Watch your back, Kate Moss.
43 00:02:21,183 00:02:23,934 There's a new bad girl on the British modeling scene. There's a new bad girl on the British modeling scene.
44 00:02:23,936 00:02:26,728 - Huh? Yeah? - [WOMAN] Okay, I think we've got it. - Huh? Yeah? - [WOMAN] Okay, I think we've got it.
45 00:02:26,730 00:02:29,358 Brought these in case you need a little biscuit boost. Yeah? Brought these in case you need a little biscuit boost. Yeah?
46 00:02:33,278 00:02:36,029 Man, oh, man. You get nervous doing this kind of stuff? Man, oh, man. You get nervous doing this kind of stuff?
47 00:02:36,031 00:02:38,532 It's a profile on women in football. It's not a big deal. It's a profile on women in football. It's not a big deal.
48 00:02:38,534 00:02:41,868 There's, like, four of us: me, Karen, Delia and Posh Spice. There's, like, four of us: me, Karen, Delia and Posh Spice.
49 00:02:41,870 00:02:44,788 Oh, come on, now. Being a role model's a huge deal. Oh, come on, now. Being a role model's a huge deal.
50 00:02:44,790 00:02:45,791 Don't you realize that Don't you realize that
51 00:02:45,793 00:02:47,749 there's probably a little girl out there somewhere there's probably a little girl out there somewhere
52 00:02:47,751 00:02:51,086 rocking a tiny eggplant-colored power suit, rocking a tiny eggplant-colored power suit,
53 00:02:51,088 00:02:54,130 and she's just dreaming about becoming a sports executive someday. and she's just dreaming about becoming a sports executive someday.
54 00:02:54,132 00:02:56,007 She's gonna read this article and she's gonna think, She's gonna read this article and she's gonna think,
55 00:02:56,009 00:03:00,262 "Holy smokes. My dreams are possible". "Holy smokes. My dreams are possible".
56 00:03:00,264 00:03:01,660 In this scenario of yours, In this scenario of yours,
57 00:03:01,662 00:03:04,057 little girls read The Football Financial Quarterly? little girls read The Football Financial Quarterly?
58 00:03:04,059 00:03:05,851 Well, who knows? Little girls are mysterious. Well, who knows? Little girls are mysterious.
59 00:03:05,853 00:03:07,477 - [CHUCKLES] - And silly and powerful. - [CHUCKLES] - And silly and powerful.
60 00:03:07,479 00:03:10,230 I gave up trying to figure them out years ago. I gave up trying to figure them out years ago.
61 00:03:10,232 00:03:12,107 Tell you what, I wish Higgins was here to see this, Tell you what, I wish Higgins was here to see this,
62 00:03:12,109 00:03:13,944 'cause he'd be real happy for you too. 'cause he'd be real happy for you too.
63 00:03:15,070 00:03:16,486 I don't know about that, Ted. I don't know about that, Ted.
64 00:03:16,488 00:03:18,530 When Higgins decided to quit, he made it quite clear When Higgins decided to quit, he made it quite clear
65 00:03:18,532 00:03:20,240 what he thought about me, and it wasn't supportive. what he thought about me, and it wasn't supportive.
66 00:03:20,242 00:03:21,243 [IMITATES BUZZER] Nope. [IMITATES BUZZER] Nope.
67 00:03:21,245 00:03:24,035 I'm filing that under stinkin' thinkin' right there. Okay? I'm filing that under stinkin' thinkin' right there. Okay?
68 00:03:24,037 00:03:25,745 I guarantee you, he'll come around. I guarantee you, he'll come around.
69 00:03:25,747 00:03:27,664 - Right. I'm changing the subject. - Go ahead. - Right. I'm changing the subject. - Go ahead.
70 00:03:27,666 00:03:30,125 How's the team morale going into the final weekend? How's the team morale going into the final weekend?
71 00:03:30,127 00:03:33,503 I mean, I'm still heartbroken about the last loss. I mean, I'm still heartbroken about the last loss.
72 00:03:33,505 00:03:34,506 Are you? Are you?
73 00:03:35,340 00:03:37,215 - Of course. - Ah. - Of course. - Ah.
74 00:03:37,217 00:03:38,884 - Hey, Keeley. - Hi, Ted. - Hey, Keeley. - Hi, Ted.
75 00:03:38,886 00:03:41,803 Hey, did those marketing folks from Tom Ford ever get back to you? Hey, did those marketing folks from Tom Ford ever get back to you?
76 00:03:41,805 00:03:43,138 Yeah, they did. Yeah, they did.
77 00:03:43,140 00:03:45,533 They said they're gonna stick with the models they already have. They said they're gonna stick with the models they already have.
78 00:03:45,535 00:03:46,558 Aw, nuts. Aw, nuts.
79 00:03:46,560 00:03:48,018 I know. But they did say I know. But they did say
80 00:03:48,020 00:03:50,770 that if they ever do an everyman campaign or something satirical, that if they ever do an everyman campaign or something satirical,
81 00:03:50,772 00:03:51,855 your name's on their list. your name's on their list.
82 00:03:51,857 00:03:54,316 All right. There you go. That's not bad. All right. There you go. That's not bad.
83 00:03:54,318 00:03:55,878 Can I borrow you for a second, Rebecca? Can I borrow you for a second, Rebecca?
84 00:03:59,945 00:04:01,613 - Come on. - [REBECCA SIGHS] - Come on. - [REBECCA SIGHS]
85 00:04:05,996 00:04:08,138 My God, it smells of feet in here. My God, it smells of feet in here.
86 00:04:08,140 00:04:10,373 I mean, it just... it just hits you immediately, doesn't it? I mean, it just... it just hits you immediately, doesn't it?
87 00:04:10,375 00:04:13,960 It's hot. Like feet funk, right up your nose. Can you smell it? It's hot. Like feet funk, right up your nose. Can you smell it?
88 00:04:13,962 00:04:16,253 You're being a right floppy cock, Rebecca. You're being a right floppy cock, Rebecca.
89 00:04:16,255 00:04:17,714 Why haven't you told Ted yet? Why haven't you told Ted yet?
90 00:04:17,716 00:04:19,216 Oh, I'm going to. Oh, I'm going to.
91 00:04:19,218 00:04:20,218 When? When?
92 00:04:21,053 00:04:23,053 [SIGHS] Imagine doing something unforgivable [SIGHS] Imagine doing something unforgivable
93 00:04:23,055 00:04:24,221 to someone who doesn't deserve it to someone who doesn't deserve it
94 00:04:24,223 00:04:26,598 and then having to look them in the eye and tell them what you've done. and then having to look them in the eye and tell them what you've done.
95 00:04:26,600 00:04:28,975 I don't have to imagine. I've done it. I don't have to imagine. I've done it.
96 00:04:28,977 00:04:31,469 Year Eight, I took a shit in Joanna Wellington's locker. Year Eight, I took a shit in Joanna Wellington's locker.
97 00:04:31,471 00:04:32,729 I apologized, I apologized,
98 00:04:32,731 00:04:34,044 I was uninvited to her birthday party, I was uninvited to her birthday party,
99 00:04:34,046 00:04:35,899 and then we patched it up a week later. and then we patched it up a week later.
100 00:04:35,901 00:04:38,109 Just fucking tell him. Just fucking tell him.
101 00:04:38,111 00:04:40,153 Sorry, why did you do a shit in her locker? Sorry, why did you do a shit in her locker?
102 00:04:40,155 00:04:42,239 I don't know. I was 13. I don't know. I was 13.
103 00:04:42,241 00:04:47,118 What? Teenage girls are, like, mysterious and dark and dangerous. What? Teenage girls are, like, mysterious and dark and dangerous.
104 00:04:47,120 00:04:48,620 - All right. - That is not the point! - All right. - That is not the point!
105 00:04:48,622 00:04:50,539 - Okay. - Oh, God. - Okay. - Oh, God.
106 00:04:50,541 00:04:52,042 Sorry. Um, wow. Sorry. Um, wow.
107 00:04:53,794 00:04:56,277 I know women like shoes, but, girls, come on, this is silly. I know women like shoes, but, girls, come on, this is silly.
108 00:04:56,279 00:04:58,839 [CHUCKLES] Sorry, that was really sexist. [CHUCKLES] Sorry, that was really sexist.
109 00:04:58,841 00:05:01,258 Um, I just wasn't expecting there to be anyone in here. Um, I just wasn't expecting there to be anyone in here.
110 00:05:01,260 00:05:02,843 Um, but you are in here, and that's great. Um, but you are in here, and that's great.
111 00:05:02,845 00:05:05,514 Take as long as you need. Yeah. I'll go. Sorry. Take as long as you need. Yeah. I'll go. Sorry.
112 00:05:07,099 00:05:09,266 I mean, what would be the point of telling Ted now? I mean, what would be the point of telling Ted now?
113 00:05:09,268 00:05:10,767 It doesn't change anything. It doesn't change anything.
114 00:05:10,769 00:05:12,354 It would change how I feel about you. It would change how I feel about you.
115 00:05:16,066 00:05:18,483 [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
116 00:05:18,485 00:05:21,903 You know, David, we got one final game this season against Man City, You know, David, we got one final game this season against Man City,
117 00:05:21,905 00:05:24,948 and our goal is to go out like Willie Nelson, on a high. and our goal is to go out like Willie Nelson, on a high.
118 00:05:24,950 00:05:26,241 - Yeah? - [REPORTERS CHUCKLE] - Yeah? - [REPORTERS CHUCKLE]
119 00:05:26,243 00:05:28,201 Oh, how about Trent Crimm? Oh, how about Trent Crimm?
120 00:05:28,203 00:05:31,454 And if memory serves, you're from the Daily Planet, yeah? And if memory serves, you're from the Daily Planet, yeah?
121 00:05:31,456 00:05:32,873 Trent Crimm, The Independent. Trent Crimm, The Independent.
122 00:05:32,875 00:05:35,417 Ah, yes. That's the one. Okay. What's your question, Trent? Ah, yes. That's the one. Okay. What's your question, Trent?
123 00:05:35,419 00:05:38,088 Many of your young players have improved during your tenure. Many of your young players have improved during your tenure.
124 00:05:38,922 00:05:40,380 Then there's Roy Kent. Then there's Roy Kent.
125 00:05:40,382 00:05:43,466 He played dismally last match. Thoughts? He played dismally last match. Thoughts?
126 00:05:43,468 00:05:46,061 Well, I think you could ask Roy himself. Well, I think you could ask Roy himself.
127 00:05:46,063 00:05:47,971 He'd tell you it wasn't his best day. He'd tell you it wasn't his best day.
128 00:05:47,973 00:05:49,264 But I'll let you know right now But I'll let you know right now
129 00:05:49,266 00:05:52,017 that Roy Kent is the backbone of this team. that Roy Kent is the backbone of this team.
130 00:05:52,019 00:05:53,602 All right, let's mix it up in here a little. All right, let's mix it up in here a little.
131 00:05:53,604 00:05:56,521 If you're an introvert, I want y'all to raise your hand. If you're an introvert, I want y'all to raise your hand.
132 00:05:56,523 00:05:58,440 You guys get the next few questions. You guys get the next few questions.
133 00:05:58,442 00:05:59,841 Ah! That was a trick! Ah! That was a trick!
134 00:05:59,843 00:06:00,989 If y'all were really introverts, If y'all were really introverts,
135 00:06:00,991 00:06:02,736 you would've been quiet as a church mouse. you would've been quiet as a church mouse.
136 00:06:02,738 00:06:04,843 Unless that church was Westboro Baptist. Unless that church was Westboro Baptist.
137 00:06:04,845 00:06:06,241 Those turkeys won't shut up. Those turkeys won't shut up.
138 00:06:09,244 00:06:11,745 Hi, guys. What's up? Hi, guys. What's up?
139 00:06:11,747 00:06:13,580 Please have a seat. Please have a seat.
140 00:06:13,582 00:06:14,583 Okay. Okay.
141 00:06:18,170 00:06:20,754 I feel like y'all are about to do some improv comedy I feel like y'all are about to do some improv comedy
142 00:06:20,756 00:06:22,439 or tell me that you're dating each other. or tell me that you're dating each other.
143 00:06:22,441 00:06:26,343 Either one's cool with me. 'Cause your suggestion is ally. Either one's cool with me. 'Cause your suggestion is ally.
144 00:06:26,345 00:06:28,803 We have to take Roy out of the starting lineup. We have to take Roy out of the starting lineup.
145 00:06:28,805 00:06:30,514 I see. Okay. I see. Okay.
146 00:06:30,516 00:06:31,848 It wasn't just one bad game, Coach. It wasn't just one bad game, Coach.
147 00:06:31,850 00:06:33,058 [NATHAN] He's showing his age, [NATHAN] He's showing his age,
148 00:06:33,060 00:06:35,560 and he's made significant mistakes in each of the last five matches. and he's made significant mistakes in each of the last five matches.
149 00:06:35,562 00:06:37,896 We just haven't been bitten in the ass by them yet. We just haven't been bitten in the ass by them yet.
150 00:06:37,898 00:06:39,940 But yesterday our butts had teeth marks. But yesterday our butts had teeth marks.
151 00:06:39,942 00:06:42,903 Deep ones. The kind you usually have to pay for. Deep ones. The kind you usually have to pay for.
152 00:06:45,155 00:06:46,238 Hmm. Hmm.
153 00:06:46,240 00:06:47,324 [PHONE VIBRATES] [PHONE VIBRATES]
154 00:06:50,661 00:06:52,160 [CLICKS TONGUE] [CLICKS TONGUE]
155 00:06:52,162 00:06:53,163 [GRUNTS] [GRUNTS]
156 00:06:54,414 00:06:58,291 Guys... I'm not benching Roy. Guys... I'm not benching Roy.
157 00:06:58,293 00:06:59,584 He's our captain. He's our captain.
158 00:06:59,586 00:07:03,715 But I want you to know that I value each of your opinions. But I want you to know that I value each of your opinions.
159 00:07:04,967 00:07:06,260 Even when they're wrong. Even when they're wrong.
160 00:07:08,053 00:07:09,853 I was really hoping it was going to be improv. I was really hoping it was going to be improv.
161 00:07:11,557 00:07:12,891 I'm Audi 5000. I'm Audi 5000.
162 00:07:19,898 00:07:22,524 - You paid someone to bite you? - No, of course not. - You paid someone to bite you? - No, of course not.
163 00:07:22,526 00:07:23,733 Oh, sorry. I... Oh, sorry. I...
164 00:07:23,735 00:07:24,736 Been paid. Been paid.
165 00:07:30,325 00:07:31,449 [STAMMERS] Where? [STAMMERS] Where?
166 00:07:31,451 00:07:33,952 [RHYTHMIC KNOCKING] [RHYTHMIC KNOCKING]
167 00:07:33,954 00:07:35,163 Hey. What's up? Hey. What's up?
168 00:07:35,956 00:07:38,415 I have something I need to tell you. I have something I need to tell you.
169 00:07:38,417 00:07:39,918 I'm all ears. [CHUCKLES] I'm all ears. [CHUCKLES]
170 00:07:41,253 00:07:42,961 [GRUNTS, IMITATES THUD] [GRUNTS, IMITATES THUD]
171 00:07:42,963 00:07:44,963 Right, I'm not gonna beat around the bush. Right, I'm not gonna beat around the bush.
172 00:07:44,965 00:07:48,058 I'm just gonna... get straight to the point. I'm just gonna... get straight to the point.
173 00:07:48,060 00:07:49,926 No faffing around, 'cause that's just annoying, No faffing around, 'cause that's just annoying,
174 00:07:49,928 00:07:51,720 and definitely no procrastinating. and definitely no procrastinating.
175 00:07:51,722 00:07:53,889 Procrast... Procrast... That's a good word, isn't it? Procrast... Procrast... That's a good word, isn't it?
176 00:07:53,891 00:07:56,725 Procrastinating. Pro... Procrastinating. Procrastinating. Pro... Procrastinating.
177 00:07:56,727 00:07:58,560 Huh. I wonder what the etymology of that word is. Huh. I wonder what the etymology of that word is.
178 00:07:58,562 00:08:03,148 Obviously, "pro", very good, but "crast"? Crast... Obviously, "pro", very good, but "crast"? Crast...
179 00:08:03,150 00:08:05,233 I have no idea. Hey! Why don't we look it up? I have no idea. Hey! Why don't we look it up?
180 00:08:05,235 00:08:08,153 - Have you got a dictionary? - Not on me. Are you doing okay? - Have you got a dictionary? - Not on me. Are you doing okay?
181 00:08:08,155 00:08:09,487 - Me? - Yeah. - Me? - Yeah.
182 00:08:09,489 00:08:11,489 I'm brilliant! I'm brilliant!
183 00:08:11,491 00:08:13,909 Yeah, I am top of the pops. Yeah, I am top of the pops.
184 00:08:13,911 00:08:16,036 [SCATS, TAPS DESK] [SCATS, TAPS DESK]
185 00:08:16,038 00:08:18,121 Ted, do you think you could do this later? Ted, do you think you could do this later?
186 00:08:18,123 00:08:20,874 Yeah, sure. No problem. I'll just hit the rewind button. Yeah, sure. No problem. I'll just hit the rewind button.
187 00:08:20,876 00:08:23,587 [IMITATING TAPE REWINDING] [IMITATING TAPE REWINDING]
188 00:08:26,048 00:08:27,341 [CHUCKLES] [CHUCKLES]
189 00:08:28,675 00:08:30,884 [RHYTHMIC KNOCKING] [RHYTHMIC KNOCKING]
190 00:08:30,886 00:08:34,888 Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
191 00:08:34,890 00:08:36,681 Just do it. Just do it. I'm a big girl. Just do it. Just do it. I'm a big girl.
192 00:08:36,683 00:08:38,807 I can fucking just... Just tidy up your mess. I can fucking just... Just tidy up your mess.
193 00:08:38,809 00:08:41,522 Tidy up your mess. Right. Oh, God. Tidy up your mess. Right. Oh, God.
194 00:08:42,898 00:08:44,525 [SINGSONG] Surprise. [SINGSONG] Surprise.
195 00:08:45,609 00:08:47,526 - Rupert. - You seem anxious. - Rupert. - You seem anxious.
196 00:08:47,528 00:08:48,818 Where's, uh, where's Higgins? Where's, uh, where's Higgins?
197 00:08:48,820 00:08:50,237 Uh, I fired him. Uh, I fired him.
198 00:08:50,239 00:08:52,697 Why? Higgins is first class. Why? Higgins is first class.
199 00:08:52,699 00:08:54,824 Except the only negative about the man Except the only negative about the man
200 00:08:54,826 00:08:57,244 was that whenever he borrowed a pen from me, was that whenever he borrowed a pen from me,
201 00:08:57,246 00:09:00,582 he would nibble the top like some anxious little puppy. he would nibble the top like some anxious little puppy.
202 00:09:01,792 00:09:02,874 Good boy. Good boy.
203 00:09:02,876 00:09:04,125 Yeah, well, he's gone. Yeah, well, he's gone.
204 00:09:04,127 00:09:07,838 Shame. Oh, well. Maybe he'll accept my offer now. Shame. Oh, well. Maybe he'll accept my offer now.
205 00:09:07,840 00:09:10,507 Look, Rupert, are you here to try and buy back the club or... Look, Rupert, are you here to try and buy back the club or...
206 00:09:10,509 00:09:12,563 No, I wanted to tell you something No, I wanted to tell you something
207 00:09:12,565 00:09:15,011 before you heard it somewhere else. before you heard it somewhere else.
208 00:09:15,013 00:09:17,015 Bex and I are having a baby. Bex and I are having a baby.
209 00:09:18,725 00:09:20,519 [SINGSONG] Surprise, again. [SINGSONG] Surprise, again.
210 00:09:21,854 00:09:23,314 But you always said that... But you always said that...
211 00:09:23,316 00:09:25,814 I thought we could be mature about this. I thought we could be mature about this.
212 00:09:25,816 00:09:27,315 [CHUCKLES] [CHUCKLES]
213 00:09:27,317 00:09:28,775 Oh, you're mature enough, all right. Oh, you're mature enough, all right.
214 00:09:28,777 00:09:32,362 You're nearly 70, and you're having a baby? You're nearly 70, and you're having a baby?
215 00:09:32,364 00:09:35,323 I mean, what are you, a character from the fucking Bible? I mean, what are you, a character from the fucking Bible?
216 00:09:35,325 00:09:36,834 When your kid hits puberty, When your kid hits puberty,
217 00:09:36,836 00:09:39,786 you'll be nothing but a pile of dust and a black Amex card. you'll be nothing but a pile of dust and a black Amex card.
218 00:09:39,788 00:09:40,954 Now, now, darling. Now, now, darling.
219 00:09:40,956 00:09:42,163 Don't call me that. Don't call me that.
220 00:09:42,165 00:09:45,417 People change. I do want a child. People change. I do want a child.
221 00:09:45,419 00:09:48,881 I just suppose I... I didn't want one with... I just suppose I... I didn't want one with...
222 00:09:50,340 00:09:51,425 Before. Before.
223 00:09:53,177 00:09:54,489 I mean, in the end, I mean, in the end,
224 00:09:54,491 00:09:57,439 it's just about being with the right person, isn't it? it's just about being with the right person, isn't it?
225 00:10:00,559 00:10:01,641 Of course. Of course.
226 00:10:01,643 00:10:04,146 Oh, I'm so glad I got to tell you this in person. Oh, I'm so glad I got to tell you this in person.
227 00:10:05,272 00:10:08,773 I would have hated for you to read it in the press. I would have hated for you to read it in the press.
228 00:10:08,775 00:10:11,067 Good luck against Man City. Good luck against Man City.
229 00:10:11,069 00:10:13,739 [PIANO MUSIC PLAYING] [PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
230 00:10:25,626 00:10:27,669 [MAN SINGING] [MAN SINGING]
231 00:10:39,056 00:10:41,475 [PLAYERS CHATTERING] [PLAYERS CHATTERING]
232 00:10:46,355 00:10:48,524 - [SONG CONTINUES] - [CHATTERING STOPS] - [SONG CONTINUES] - [CHATTERING STOPS]
233 00:10:51,818 00:10:53,401 [CHATTERING RESUMES] [CHATTERING RESUMES]
234 00:10:53,403 00:10:54,613 [SIGHS] [SIGHS]
235 00:10:57,282 00:10:59,324 I have something I need to tell you. I have something I need to tell you.
236 00:10:59,326 00:11:02,160 Mm. Déjà vu. [CHUCKLES] Mm. Déjà vu. [CHUCKLES]
237 00:11:02,162 00:11:04,081 I'm a fucking bitch. I'm a fucking bitch.
238 00:11:04,957 00:11:06,291 Nope, that's new. Nope, that's new.
239 00:11:10,212 00:11:11,463 Ted, I lied to you. Ted, I lied to you.
240 00:11:13,298 00:11:15,884 I hired you because I wanted this team to lose. I hired you because I wanted this team to lose.
241 00:11:16,718 00:11:18,426 I wanted you to fail, I wanted you to fail,
242 00:11:18,428 00:11:21,014 and I sabotaged you every chance I've had. and I sabotaged you every chance I've had.
243 00:11:22,391 00:11:24,621 It was me who hired that photographer It was me who hired that photographer
244 00:11:24,623 00:11:26,562 to take the photo of you and Keeley. to take the photo of you and Keeley.
245 00:11:27,354 00:11:30,168 I set up the interview with Trent Crimm, I set up the interview with Trent Crimm,
246 00:11:30,170 00:11:33,149 hoping that he would humiliate you. hoping that he would humiliate you.
247 00:11:33,151 00:11:37,112 And I instigated the transfer of Jamie Tartt, And I instigated the transfer of Jamie Tartt,
248 00:11:37,114 00:11:38,740 even though you'd asked me not to. even though you'd asked me not to.
249 00:11:40,659 00:11:43,139 This club is all that Rupert has ever cared about, This club is all that Rupert has ever cared about,
250 00:11:43,141 00:11:44,705 and I wanted to destroy it. and I wanted to destroy it.
251 00:11:45,497 00:11:50,627 To cause him as much pain and suffering as he has caused me. To cause him as much pain and suffering as he has caused me.
252 00:11:51,420 00:11:55,591 And I didn't care who I used or who I hurt. And I didn't care who I used or who I hurt.
253 00:11:57,009 00:12:01,221 All you good people just trying to make a difference. All you good people just trying to make a difference.
254 00:12:03,098 00:12:04,641 [CRYING] Ted, I'm so sorry. [CRYING] Ted, I'm so sorry.
255 00:12:07,936 00:12:08,937 Mm. Mm.
256 00:12:16,528 00:12:19,531 If you want to quit or call the press, I'll completely understand. If you want to quit or call the press, I'll completely understand.
257 00:12:22,743 00:12:23,911 I forgive you. I forgive you.
258 00:12:25,162 00:12:27,704 You... What? Why? You... What? Why?
259 00:12:27,706 00:12:28,957 Divorce is hard. Divorce is hard.
260 00:12:30,792 00:12:32,626 It doesn't matter if you're the one leaving It doesn't matter if you're the one leaving
261 00:12:32,628 00:12:35,923 or if... you're the one who got left. or if... you're the one who got left.
262 00:12:36,924 00:12:38,675 It makes folks do crazy things. It makes folks do crazy things.
263 00:12:40,302 00:12:43,887 Hell, I'm coaching soccer for heaven's sake. In London. Hell, I'm coaching soccer for heaven's sake. In London.
264 00:12:43,889 00:12:45,307 [CHUCKLES] I mean, that's nuts. [CHUCKLES] I mean, that's nuts.
265 00:12:46,517 00:12:48,642 - [SIGHS] - [REBECCA EXHALES] - [SIGHS] - [REBECCA EXHALES]
266 00:12:48,644 00:12:49,645 Yeah. Yeah.
267 00:12:50,521 00:12:52,773 But this job you gave me has changed my life. But this job you gave me has changed my life.
268 00:12:55,025 00:12:57,861 It gave me the distance I needed to see what was really going on. It gave me the distance I needed to see what was really going on.
269 00:13:00,030 00:13:01,323 Yeah, but you and me... Yeah, but you and me...
270 00:13:03,283 00:13:04,284 We're okay. We're okay.
271 00:13:10,749 00:13:11,832 Ted. Ted.
272 00:13:11,834 00:13:14,115 Come on, just shake this hand. My arm's starting to get... Come on, just shake this hand. My arm's starting to get...
273 00:13:15,295 00:13:16,672 [TED CHUCKLES] [TED CHUCKLES]
274 00:13:19,842 00:13:23,426 You know, I think that if you care about someone You know, I think that if you care about someone
275 00:13:23,428 00:13:26,680 and you got a little love in your heart, and you got a little love in your heart,
276 00:13:26,682 00:13:29,140 there ain't nothing you can't get through together. there ain't nothing you can't get through together.
277 00:13:29,142 00:13:30,310 You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?
278 00:13:34,815 00:13:36,984 You're not just talking about us now, are you? You're not just talking about us now, are you?
279 00:13:38,068 00:13:40,696 Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe. Maybe not.
280 00:13:42,614 00:13:43,790 Okay. Okay.
281 00:13:43,792 00:13:45,782 I'm gonna go change for practice... uh, training. I'm gonna go change for practice... uh, training.
282 00:13:45,784 00:13:47,701 Whatever. Who cares? Whatever. Who cares?
283 00:13:47,703 00:13:49,621 Nice seeing you down here, boss. Nice seeing you down here, boss.
284 00:13:50,581 00:13:51,999 You liven up the place. You liven up the place.
285 00:13:56,278 00:13:58,295 All right, let's get it going, huh? [BLOWS WHISTLE] All right, let's get it going, huh? [BLOWS WHISTLE]
286 00:13:58,297 00:14:00,755 Let's go. Gather up. Come on, now. Let's go. Gather up. Come on, now.
287 00:14:00,757 00:14:03,383 All right, fellas, you gotta remember, your body is like day-old rice. All right, fellas, you gotta remember, your body is like day-old rice.
288 00:14:03,385 00:14:05,760 If it ain't warmed up properly, something real bad could happen. If it ain't warmed up properly, something real bad could happen.
289 00:14:05,762 00:14:07,512 Oh, food poisoning is no joke, Coach. Oh, food poisoning is no joke, Coach.
290 00:14:07,514 00:14:09,389 One time, I was being sick, One time, I was being sick,
291 00:14:09,391 00:14:11,391 and at the same time, I was having diarrhea. and at the same time, I was having diarrhea.
292 00:14:11,393 00:14:14,019 Mm. Yep. That'll happen. Anybody else wanna share? Mm. Yep. That'll happen. Anybody else wanna share?
293 00:14:14,021 00:14:16,897 To be able to do both those things at the same time? To be able to do both those things at the same time?
294 00:14:16,899 00:14:18,982 The body is a miracle. The body is a miracle.
295 00:14:18,984 00:14:21,026 Yeah. Good perspective. I appreciate that. Yeah. Good perspective. I appreciate that.
296 00:14:21,028 00:14:23,653 So, fellas, we all know speed is important. So, fellas, we all know speed is important.
297 00:14:23,655 00:14:26,281 But being able to stop and change directions quickly? But being able to stop and change directions quickly?
298 00:14:26,283 00:14:29,159 Well, that's like Kanye's 808s & Heartbreak. Well, that's like Kanye's 808s & Heartbreak.
299 00:14:29,161 00:14:30,785 It don't get nearly enough credit. It don't get nearly enough credit.
300 00:14:30,787 00:14:33,187 Okay, so let's line up on these cones Nate put out. Let's go. Okay, so let's line up on these cones Nate put out. Let's go.
301 00:14:34,499 00:14:35,582 All right, here's the deal. All right, here's the deal.
302 00:14:35,584 00:14:39,294 Last one to start, stop, then start again is a rotten egg. Let's do it. Last one to start, stop, then start again is a rotten egg. Let's do it.
303 00:14:39,296 00:14:41,215 - [BLOWS WHISTLE] - [PLAYERS SHOUTING] - [BLOWS WHISTLE] - [PLAYERS SHOUTING]
304 00:14:42,549 00:14:44,869 Hey, Coach, I thought of a joke this morning in the shower. Hey, Coach, I thought of a joke this morning in the shower.
305 00:14:46,303 00:14:48,096 What does a British owl say? What does a British owl say?
306 00:14:51,642 00:14:52,962 Coach, what does a British owl... Coach, what does a British owl...
307 00:14:55,229 00:14:56,349 I was saying earlier that... I was saying earlier that...
308 00:14:57,981 00:15:01,107 You're acting like I'm chasing you with a booger or something. You're acting like I'm chasing you with a booger or something.
309 00:15:01,109 00:15:03,176 Okay. All right. I see what's going on here. Okay. All right. I see what's going on here.
310 00:15:03,178 00:15:04,286 This is about Roy, ain't it? This is about Roy, ain't it?
311 00:15:04,288 00:15:06,467 So you gonna give me the cold shoulder and the silent treatment. So you gonna give me the cold shoulder and the silent treatment.
312 00:15:06,469 00:15:07,989 That's a combo. That's a combo.
313 00:15:07,991 00:15:09,449 Does it come with a medium drink? Does it come with a medium drink?
314 00:15:09,451 00:15:11,326 [CHUCKLES] [CHUCKLES]
315 00:15:11,328 00:15:12,911 Fine. Fine.
316 00:15:12,913 00:15:15,705 Hey, Nate, what does a British owl say? Hey, Nate, what does a British owl say?
317 00:15:15,707 00:15:18,458 Oh, you gonna do that move where you act like you don't hear me Oh, you gonna do that move where you act like you don't hear me
318 00:15:18,460 00:15:19,918 and then you just walk away, huh? and then you just walk away, huh?
319 00:15:19,920 00:15:20,921 Yeah. Yeah.
320 00:15:21,964 00:15:24,047 Oh, it's like that now, huh? Oh, it's like that now, huh?
321 00:15:24,049 00:15:25,695 Heck with both of you guys. Heck with both of you guys.
322 00:15:25,697 00:15:27,717 I'm just gonna focus up here on practice. I'm just gonna focus up here on practice.
323 00:15:27,719 00:15:30,055 There you go, Dani. Dig in, baby. Come on. There you go, Dani. Dig in, baby. Come on.
324 00:15:31,348 00:15:32,988 - [ROY] Fuck. - [TED] It's all right, Roy. - [ROY] Fuck. - [TED] It's all right, Roy.
325 00:15:33,892 00:15:35,809 - [ROY] Fuck! - [COLIN] Keep up, Roy! - [ROY] Fuck! - [COLIN] Keep up, Roy!
326 00:15:35,811 00:15:37,561 - [TED] You got this, Roy. - [ROY] Fuck! - [TED] You got this, Roy. - [ROY] Fuck!
327 00:15:37,563 00:15:40,524 That's it. Swear it out, Roy. Swear it out. That's it. Swear it out, Roy. Swear it out.
328 00:15:42,651 00:15:43,944 [GRUNTS] [GRUNTS]
329 00:15:44,987 00:15:46,572 Mm. Shoot. Mm. Shoot.
330 00:15:47,364 00:15:48,991 Okay. Mm. Okay. Mm.
331 00:15:52,995 00:15:53,996 Okay. Okay.
332 00:16:05,465 00:16:08,886 [UPRIGHT BASS PLAYING] [UPRIGHT BASS PLAYING]
333 00:16:12,514 00:16:13,930 [MAN] Ooh. [MAN] Ooh.
334 00:16:13,932 00:16:16,435 - [UPRIGHT BASS CONTINUES] - Ahh! - [UPRIGHT BASS CONTINUES] - Ahh!
335 00:16:26,236 00:16:27,237 Yeah. Yeah.
336 00:16:28,447 00:16:30,113 Whoa. Whoa.
337 00:16:30,115 00:16:31,781 [SCREAMS, YELPS] [SCREAMS, YELPS]
338 00:16:31,783 00:16:33,702 [BREATHES HEAVILY] [BREATHES HEAVILY]
339 00:16:37,456 00:16:38,874 [TED] There you are. [TED] There you are.
340 00:16:43,545 00:16:44,546 [TED EXHALES] [TED EXHALES]
341 00:16:45,506 00:16:46,507 Hey. Hey.
342 00:16:48,592 00:16:51,051 There's, um, a lot of other seats. There's, um, a lot of other seats.
343 00:16:51,053 00:16:53,345 Well, yeah, this is what my ticket says. Well, yeah, this is what my ticket says.
344 00:16:53,347 00:16:54,765 [CHUCKLES] [CHUCKLES]
345 00:16:55,724 00:16:57,849 [SIGHS] How you doing, Roy? [SIGHS] How you doing, Roy?
346 00:16:57,851 00:16:59,518 [ROY] Fine. You? [ROY] Fine. You?
347 00:16:59,520 00:17:01,144 [TED] Oh, good, good, yeah. [TED] Oh, good, good, yeah.
348 00:17:01,146 00:17:03,104 Oh. I saw this video online Oh. I saw this video online
349 00:17:03,106 00:17:07,317 of a, um, a kitten and a little baby chicken becoming friends of a, um, a kitten and a little baby chicken becoming friends
350 00:17:07,319 00:17:09,068 and just hanging out together. and just hanging out together.
351 00:17:09,070 00:17:11,154 It was... Well, here, let me show it to you. I got it right here. It was... Well, here, let me show it to you. I got it right here.
352 00:17:11,156 00:17:12,780 What's this about? What's this about?
353 00:17:12,782 00:17:14,284 [CHUCKLES] [CHUCKLES]
354 00:17:15,702 00:17:17,598 It's funny, 'cause whenever my mom It's funny, 'cause whenever my mom
355 00:17:17,600 00:17:19,578 has something tough to talk about with me, has something tough to talk about with me,
356 00:17:19,580 00:17:23,500 she'll, um... you know, she'll start it off saying something she'll, um... you know, she'll start it off saying something
357 00:17:23,502 00:17:27,587 about, I don't know, something weird, something overtly nice. about, I don't know, something weird, something overtly nice.
358 00:17:27,589 00:17:29,798 And, uh, yeah, I just thought the idea And, uh, yeah, I just thought the idea
359 00:17:29,800 00:17:33,762 of a cat and a bird being all simpatico was nice. of a cat and a bird being all simpatico was nice.
360 00:17:39,059 00:17:41,503 Look, Roy, we've been talking about Look, Roy, we've been talking about
361 00:17:41,505 00:17:42,936 the starting lineup against Man City... the starting lineup against Man City...
362 00:17:42,938 00:17:44,688 Don't you dare. You're not fucking benching me. Don't you dare. You're not fucking benching me.
363 00:17:44,690 00:17:46,105 Well, no. I'm just talking here, Roy. I... Well, no. I'm just talking here, Roy. I...
364 00:17:46,107 00:17:47,524 Yeah, talking. That's all you do is talk. Yeah, talking. That's all you do is talk.
365 00:17:47,526 00:17:49,651 Talking all that bullshit about how you've got my back. Talking all that bullshit about how you've got my back.
366 00:17:49,653 00:17:51,903 - No. Hey, I do have your back. - Bullshit! - No. Hey, I do have your back. - Bullshit!
367 00:17:51,905 00:17:54,447 You pretended to be a man of your word. You're fucking full of shit. You pretended to be a man of your word. You're fucking full of shit.
368 00:17:54,449 00:17:57,077 You can go fuck yourself. Fuck you! You can go fuck yourself. Fuck you!
369 00:18:04,710 00:18:06,211 [SIGHS] [SIGHS]
370 00:18:11,049 00:18:12,382 [PLUCKS BASS STRING] [PLUCKS BASS STRING]
371 00:18:12,384 00:18:14,678 There are a lot of surprises happening here. There are a lot of surprises happening here.
372 00:18:16,638 00:18:18,930 Like that tiny little beard. Like that tiny little beard.
373 00:18:18,932 00:18:23,476 It's called a Van Dyke after the 17th century Flemish painter. It's called a Van Dyke after the 17th century Flemish painter.
374 00:18:23,478 00:18:26,273 - Oh. Right. - And I think it makes me look how I feel. - Oh. Right. - And I think it makes me look how I feel.
375 00:18:27,024 00:18:28,356 Chill. Chill.
376 00:18:28,358 00:18:30,609 How does Mrs. Higgins feel about it? How does Mrs. Higgins feel about it?
377 00:18:30,611 00:18:32,652 She hates it with a white-hot intensity. She hates it with a white-hot intensity.
378 00:18:32,654 00:18:34,198 [CHUCKLES] [CHUCKLES]
379 00:18:35,407 00:18:36,909 Right. Look... Right. Look...
380 00:18:38,202 00:18:41,328 I came clean to Ted. I told him everything. I came clean to Ted. I told him everything.
381 00:18:41,330 00:18:42,787 Oh. Oh.
382 00:18:42,789 00:18:43,872 How did that go? How did that go?
383 00:18:43,874 00:18:47,167 You know what the little shit did? He forgave me. You know what the little shit did? He forgave me.
384 00:18:47,169 00:18:49,421 - [HIGGINS] Fucking asshole. - I know. - [HIGGINS] Fucking asshole. - I know.
385 00:18:50,547 00:18:53,798 But that's not actually why I'm here. But that's not actually why I'm here.
386 00:18:53,800 00:18:55,511 I wanted to apologize to you for... I wanted to apologize to you for...
387 00:18:57,304 00:18:58,553 treating you so poorly treating you so poorly
388 00:18:58,555 00:19:00,201 and forcing you to be an accomplice and forcing you to be an accomplice
389 00:19:00,203 00:19:02,599 in my moronically childish scheme. in my moronically childish scheme.
390 00:19:02,601 00:19:05,727 I am truly sorry, Higgins. I am truly sorry, Higgins.
391 00:19:05,729 00:19:06,730 [EXHALES] [EXHALES]
392 00:19:08,524 00:19:09,650 Wow. Uh... Wow. Uh...
393 00:19:10,943 00:19:13,070 Thank... Thank you, Rebecca. Thank... Thank you, Rebecca.
394 00:19:15,239 00:19:17,405 I lost my way for a minute. I lost my way for a minute.
395 00:19:17,407 00:19:19,032 Yeah. Yeah.
396 00:19:19,034 00:19:20,035 But I'm on the road back. But I'm on the road back.
397 00:19:20,786 00:19:22,869 I can tell. You know what, it suits you. I can tell. You know what, it suits you.
398 00:19:22,871 00:19:24,412 Unlike that beard. Ooh! Unlike that beard. Ooh!
399 00:19:24,414 00:19:25,580 Oh. Oh.
400 00:19:25,582 00:19:27,960 Sorry. Had to. [CHUCKLES] Sorry. Had to. [CHUCKLES]
401 00:19:29,878 00:19:31,253 [HEADPHONES: ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] [HEADPHONES: ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
402 00:19:31,255 00:19:34,172 I don't think I've ever had a child in my house before. I don't think I've ever had a child in my house before.
403 00:19:34,174 00:19:35,717 - What about Jamie? - [KEELEY CHUCKLES] - What about Jamie? - [KEELEY CHUCKLES]
404 00:19:37,094 00:19:39,177 Oh, we can't let her go snooping around though. Oh, we can't let her go snooping around though.
405 00:19:39,179 00:19:41,304 I don't want her to find my vibrator. I don't want her to find my vibrator.
406 00:19:41,306 00:19:44,474 Yeah, that's gonna be a problem. Her mum said no electronics. Yeah, that's gonna be a problem. Her mum said no electronics.
407 00:19:44,476 00:19:45,853 [LAUGHS] [LAUGHS]
408 00:19:48,188 00:19:50,482 So, how are you doing? So, how are you doing?
409 00:19:51,358 00:19:52,359 Fine. Fine.
410 00:19:55,529 00:19:58,071 [KEELEY] I do kind of think kids are pretty incredible. [KEELEY] I do kind of think kids are pretty incredible.
411 00:19:58,073 00:20:00,282 I mean, she's got new teeth that push out her old teeth. I mean, she's got new teeth that push out her old teeth.
412 00:20:00,284 00:20:02,075 The body is a miracle. The body is a miracle.
413 00:20:02,077 00:20:03,785 You know, the last time I was on the bench... You know, the last time I was on the bench...
414 00:20:03,787 00:20:05,370 Oh, you are ready to talk about real stuff. Oh, you are ready to talk about real stuff.
415 00:20:05,372 00:20:06,663 That's great. That's great.
416 00:20:06,665 00:20:09,668 Um, wait one second. Um, wait one second.
417 00:20:11,795 00:20:12,796 Come sit here. Come sit here.
418 00:20:17,843 00:20:18,927 Take this. Take this.
419 00:20:19,720 00:20:22,389 Okay, we're both ready. Lay it on me. Okay, we're both ready. Lay it on me.
420 00:20:25,109 00:20:27,559 Roy Kent has been the best player on every team he's been on Roy Kent has been the best player on every team he's been on
421 00:20:27,561 00:20:28,977 since he was a kid. since he was a kid.
422 00:20:28,979 00:20:31,396 I like being Roy Kent. I like being Roy Kent.
423 00:20:31,398 00:20:33,127 I don't know if I can handle just being I don't know if I can handle just being
424 00:20:33,129 00:20:35,901 some loser has-been called Roy. some loser has-been called Roy.
425 00:20:35,903 00:20:39,571 "All right, Roy?" Yeah. "What you been up to?" Fuck all. "All right, Roy?" Yeah. "What you been up to?" Fuck all.
426 00:20:39,573 00:20:44,534 God. I think men who feel sorry for themselves are so sexy. God. I think men who feel sorry for themselves are so sexy.
427 00:20:44,536 00:20:47,162 - Stop it. - No, seriously. I do. - Stop it. - No, seriously. I do.
428 00:20:47,164 00:20:50,332 And if you start telling me how hard it is playing a game for a living, And if you start telling me how hard it is playing a game for a living,
429 00:20:50,334 00:20:51,374 I think I might come. I think I might come.
430 00:20:51,376 00:20:53,045 It's not just a game to me. It's not just a game to me.
431 00:20:54,046 00:20:56,254 It's all I've ever known. It's all I've ever known.
432 00:20:56,256 00:20:57,923 It's who I am. It's who I am.
433 00:20:57,925 00:20:59,508 It's all I am. It's all I am.
434 00:20:59,510 00:21:02,093 Phoebe? Phoebe? Phoebe? Phoebe?
435 00:21:02,095 00:21:03,639 Can you come here for a second? Can you come here for a second?
436 00:21:06,975 00:21:09,726 You were right. Zeppelin is amazing. You were right. Zeppelin is amazing.
437 00:21:09,728 00:21:11,144 Wait till you hear Cream. Wait till you hear Cream.
438 00:21:11,146 00:21:14,149 But first, I need you to close your eyes for me, yeah? But first, I need you to close your eyes for me, yeah?
439 00:21:15,150 00:21:17,734 Okay. Can you describe your Uncle Roy? Okay. Can you describe your Uncle Roy?
440 00:21:17,736 00:21:21,196 Everything that you can think of. Go. Everything that you can think of. Go.
441 00:21:21,198 00:21:25,075 Well, he's my uncle. His beard is scratchy. Well, he's my uncle. His beard is scratchy.
442 00:21:25,077 00:21:27,452 He buys me ice cream. He buys me ice cream.
443 00:21:27,454 00:21:28,872 He swears a lot. He swears a lot.
444 00:21:29,831 00:21:32,207 He's really funny. He's really funny.
445 00:21:32,209 00:21:34,586 And I love him. And I love him.
446 00:21:36,755 00:21:38,465 Well done, Phoebe. Well done, Phoebe.
447 00:21:39,424 00:21:42,302 See? I didn't hear anything about being a footballer. See? I didn't hear anything about being a footballer.
448 00:21:43,136 00:21:45,639 Who gives a shit what she has to say? She's six. Who gives a shit what she has to say? She's six.
449 00:21:46,473 00:21:50,308 The point is, you don't know what people think about Roy Kent. The point is, you don't know what people think about Roy Kent.
450 00:21:50,310 00:21:54,398 Secondly, all that matters, Roy Kent, is what you think about Roy. Secondly, all that matters, Roy Kent, is what you think about Roy.
451 00:22:06,618 00:22:09,327 That your old girl playing chess with some other bloke? That your old girl playing chess with some other bloke?
452 00:22:09,329 00:22:11,371 - Yep. - That's fucking brutal. - Yep. - That's fucking brutal.
453 00:22:11,373 00:22:13,540 She's just playing her game. She's just playing her game.
454 00:22:13,542 00:22:15,125 You stay strong, you hear? You stay strong, you hear?
455 00:22:15,127 00:22:16,503 You're a beautiful man. You're a beautiful man.
456 00:22:20,007 00:22:21,091 [TED] Hey, fellas. [TED] Hey, fellas.
457 00:22:25,429 00:22:27,929 Well, that's a lot of pints just for us. Well, that's a lot of pints just for us.
458 00:22:27,931 00:22:30,140 I thought you might've had a tough time with Roy. I thought you might've had a tough time with Roy.
459 00:22:30,142 00:22:32,454 Coach, you are a natural-born caregiver. Coach, you are a natural-born caregiver.
460 00:22:32,456 00:22:34,188 Like Chief from Cuckoo's Nest. Like Chief from Cuckoo's Nest.
461 00:22:35,022 00:22:36,899 I was always more of a Taber guy. I was always more of a Taber guy.
462 00:22:40,903 00:22:42,464 But if I'm being honest, But if I'm being honest,
463 00:22:42,466 00:22:44,656 I actually never got around to telling Roy. I actually never got around to telling Roy.
464 00:22:45,574 00:22:46,822 Now, don't give me those eyes. Now, don't give me those eyes.
465 00:22:46,824 00:22:48,452 He figured it out all on his own. He figured it out all on his own.
466 00:22:49,674 00:22:51,925 I can see you're happy now, but don't be. I can see you're happy now, but don't be.
467 00:22:51,927 00:22:54,220 'Cause I've been thinking about it and, um... 'Cause I've been thinking about it and, um...
468 00:22:54,222 00:22:56,974 well, I'm starting Roy against Man City and that's that. well, I'm starting Roy against Man City and that's that.
469 00:22:56,976 00:22:59,936 Look, putting him on the bench wouldn't just be humiliating to him, Look, putting him on the bench wouldn't just be humiliating to him,
470 00:22:59,938 00:23:03,023 it could actually affect his livelihood. it could actually affect his livelihood.
471 00:23:03,025 00:23:04,278 And you know better than anyone And you know better than anyone
472 00:23:04,280 00:23:05,717 that all this ain't about winning to me. that all this ain't about winning to me.
473 00:23:05,719 00:23:07,469 'Cause that ain't how we measure success, right? 'Cause that ain't how we measure success, right?
474 00:23:07,471 00:23:08,929 Damn it, it is! Damn it, it is!
475 00:23:08,931 00:23:10,682 - [CHATTERING STOPS] - [PATRONS GASP] - [CHATTERING STOPS] - [PATRONS GASP]
476 00:23:13,352 00:23:16,937 Hey. Who put a firecracker up your butt and lit it? Hey. Who put a firecracker up your butt and lit it?
477 00:23:16,939 00:23:19,856 You did! And I'm sick of it. You did! And I'm sick of it.
478 00:23:19,858 00:23:22,337 Look, I understood this mission when we were in Kansas. Look, I understood this mission when we were in Kansas.
479 00:23:22,339 00:23:23,944 But those were kids and these are professionals But those were kids and these are professionals
480 00:23:23,946 00:23:25,529 and winning does matter to them. and winning does matter to them.
481 00:23:25,531 00:23:28,242 And it matters to me. And that's okay. And it matters to me. And that's okay.
482 00:23:29,409 00:23:32,120 - Ain't that right, Mae? - A-fucking-men it is. - Ain't that right, Mae? - A-fucking-men it is.
483 00:23:35,082 00:23:37,040 How do you not get it? Losing has repercussions. How do you not get it? Losing has repercussions.
484 00:23:37,042 00:23:38,583 We lose, we get relegated. We lose, we get relegated.
485 00:23:38,585 00:23:41,795 We get relegated, this is over and we will have built nothing. We get relegated, this is over and we will have built nothing.
486 00:23:41,797 00:23:44,414 And if you wanna pick a player's feelings over a coach's duty And if you wanna pick a player's feelings over a coach's duty
487 00:23:44,416 00:23:45,425 to make a point... to make a point...
488 00:23:47,010 00:23:48,846 I don't wanna drink with someone that selfish. I don't wanna drink with someone that selfish.
489 00:23:54,226 00:23:56,810 That was the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. That was the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life.
490 00:23:56,812 00:23:58,520 Get your things. Get your things.
491 00:23:58,522 00:24:00,023 She's been toying with you. She's been toying with you.
492 00:24:00,941 00:24:03,110 Checkmate, mate. Checkmate, mate.
493 00:24:05,153 00:24:07,698 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
494 00:24:21,628 00:24:23,630 [SONG CONTINUES] [SONG CONTINUES]
495 00:24:34,057 00:24:35,809 [HORN HONKS] [HORN HONKS]
496 00:24:44,067 00:24:45,734 - I'm good. - You got a nut allergy? - I'm good. - You got a nut allergy?
497 00:24:45,736 00:24:47,861 I got a finger allergy. I got a finger allergy.
498 00:24:47,863 00:24:50,739 What else have I got to offer you here? We got red wine. What else have I got to offer you here? We got red wine.
499 00:24:50,741 00:24:51,823 We got tea. We got tea.
500 00:24:51,825 00:24:53,408 Ooh. Ooh.
501 00:24:53,410 00:24:54,951 Two-day-old pasta water. Two-day-old pasta water.
502 00:24:54,953 00:24:56,246 Tea's fine. Tea's fine.
503 00:24:57,331 00:24:59,331 Look, I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself. Look, I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself.
504 00:24:59,333 00:25:02,461 - Eh, la-di-da. - I'm usually better at hiding my anger. - Eh, la-di-da. - I'm usually better at hiding my anger.
505 00:25:03,837 00:25:05,253 You think so, huh? You think so, huh?
506 00:25:05,255 00:25:06,379 Mm. Mm.
507 00:25:06,381 00:25:07,964 Know thyself. Know thyself.
508 00:25:07,966 00:25:09,343 Rest in peace, Socrates. Rest in peace, Socrates.
509 00:25:12,221 00:25:14,596 Told my niece I might not be playing. Told my niece I might not be playing.
510 00:25:14,598 00:25:17,015 She asked if we could go get ice cream. She asked if we could go get ice cream.
511 00:25:17,017 00:25:20,268 Well, hey, at least you had someone you could talk to, right? Well, hey, at least you had someone you could talk to, right?
512 00:25:20,270 00:25:21,353 How was the ice cream? How was the ice cream?
513 00:25:21,355 00:25:23,146 Good. It's fucking ice cream. Good. It's fucking ice cream.
514 00:25:23,148 00:25:25,273 Yeah, right? Ice cream's the best. Yeah, right? Ice cream's the best.
515 00:25:25,275 00:25:27,609 It's kinda like seeing Billy Joel perform live, you know? It's kinda like seeing Billy Joel perform live, you know?
516 00:25:27,611 00:25:29,069 It never disappoints. It never disappoints.
517 00:25:29,071 00:25:32,113 - Mm-hmm. - It does give me the toots though. - Mm-hmm. - It does give me the toots though.
518 00:25:32,115 00:25:33,865 The ice cream, not Billy Joel. The ice cream, not Billy Joel.
519 00:25:33,867 00:25:36,263 I asked her if she was still gonna watch the match I asked her if she was still gonna watch the match
520 00:25:36,265 00:25:37,786 if I wasn't playing. if I wasn't playing.
521 00:25:37,788 00:25:38,870 [TED] Yeah? [TED] Yeah?
522 00:25:38,872 00:25:40,350 Little shit said yes. Little shit said yes.
523 00:25:40,352 00:25:43,208 Didn't even blink. Just straight into my face. Didn't even blink. Just straight into my face.
524 00:25:43,210 00:25:45,961 - Well, hey. That's showbiz, ain't it? - Mm. - Well, hey. That's showbiz, ain't it? - Mm.
525 00:25:45,963 00:25:48,380 I promised myself I was never gonna watch Fresh Prince again I promised myself I was never gonna watch Fresh Prince again
526 00:25:48,382 00:25:49,881 when they swapped out Aunt Vivs. when they swapped out Aunt Vivs.
527 00:25:49,883 00:25:52,843 But truth be told, as long as they let Carlton do his thing, But truth be told, as long as they let Carlton do his thing,
528 00:25:52,845 00:25:55,220 I was always gonna take a minute and just sit right there. I was always gonna take a minute and just sit right there.
529 00:25:55,222 00:25:57,430 Sidebar: Alfonso Ribeiro, Sidebar: Alfonso Ribeiro,
530 00:25:57,432 00:26:01,560 the greatest physical comedian of the 19th, 20th and 21st century. the greatest physical comedian of the 19th, 20th and 21st century.
531 00:26:01,562 00:26:02,771 Case in point right here. Case in point right here.
532 00:26:04,064 00:26:05,689 Iconic, yeah? Iconic, yeah?
533 00:26:05,691 00:26:06,835 I never know how to react I never know how to react
534 00:26:06,837 00:26:08,733 when a grown man does the Carlton in front of me. when a grown man does the Carlton in front of me.
535 00:26:08,735 00:26:11,236 You could see a silhouette doing this, you know exactly what it is, You could see a silhouette doing this, you know exactly what it is,
536 00:26:11,238 00:26:12,674 you know exactly who's doing it. you know exactly who's doing it.
537 00:26:12,676 00:26:15,448 It is the one, the only, Alfonso... It is the one, the only, Alfonso...
538 00:26:15,450 00:26:18,076 - [WOMAN POUNDS FLOOR] Knock it off! - Sorry, Ms. Shipley! - [WOMAN POUNDS FLOOR] Knock it off! - Sorry, Ms. Shipley!
539 00:26:18,078 00:26:20,161 It has been a whole thing this last week. It has been a whole thing this last week.
540 00:26:20,163 00:26:23,039 [SIGHS] Anyway. You know what we could do? [SIGHS] Anyway. You know what we could do?
541 00:26:23,041 00:26:24,457 You've been hurt off and on all season. You've been hurt off and on all season.
542 00:26:24,459 00:26:27,419 Why don't we just say you're injured, you can't play? No shame in that. Why don't we just say you're injured, you can't play? No shame in that.
543 00:26:27,421 00:26:29,923 That would help protect my stock if I wanna move next season. That would help protect my stock if I wanna move next season.
544 00:26:30,716 00:26:32,799 Maybe to a club that actually wants to start me. Maybe to a club that actually wants to start me.
545 00:26:32,801 00:26:33,884 Come on. Come on.
546 00:26:33,886 00:26:38,889 What if, God forbid, I end up having to play in fucking America, What if, God forbid, I end up having to play in fucking America,
547 00:26:38,891 00:26:40,724 where I'd dominate, by the way. where I'd dominate, by the way.
548 00:26:40,726 00:26:43,435 They'd be like, "Oh, is this football then?" They'd be like, "Oh, is this football then?"
549 00:26:43,437 00:26:46,021 Well, obviously, my preference would be to have you there. Well, obviously, my preference would be to have you there.
550 00:26:46,023 00:26:48,148 At practice tomorrow and the game. At practice tomorrow and the game.
551 00:26:48,150 00:26:51,528 But hey, you gotta do what's right for you. But hey, you gotta do what's right for you.
552 00:26:58,493 00:26:59,494 Can I think about it? Can I think about it?
553 00:27:00,454 00:27:02,789 I'd call you a big dummy, poo-poo face if you didn't. I'd call you a big dummy, poo-poo face if you didn't.
554 00:27:09,213 00:27:10,339 [GROANS] [GROANS]
555 00:27:11,173 00:27:14,341 Be honest with me. It's a prank, right? The tea. Be honest with me. It's a prank, right? The tea.
556 00:27:14,343 00:27:16,238 Like, when us tourist folks aren't around, Like, when us tourist folks aren't around,
557 00:27:16,240 00:27:17,802 y'all know this tastes like garbage. y'all know this tastes like garbage.
558 00:27:17,804 00:27:20,096 No. I love it. No. I love it.
559 00:27:20,098 00:27:21,808 You don't love it. It's pigeon sweat. You don't love it. It's pigeon sweat.
560 00:27:22,768 00:27:23,769 [EXHALES] [EXHALES]
561 00:27:25,437 00:27:28,230 Mm. Horrible. Horrible. Mm. Horrible. Horrible.
562 00:27:28,232 00:27:29,648 - [HIGGINS] Yeah. - [REBECCA CHUCKLES] - [HIGGINS] Yeah. - [REBECCA CHUCKLES]
563 00:27:29,650 00:27:31,782 No, get rid of the small one and bring back the tall one. No, get rid of the small one and bring back the tall one.
564 00:27:31,784 00:27:33,797 - He's got bigger hands. - Bing-bong! - He's got bigger hands. - Bing-bong!
565 00:27:33,799 00:27:36,446 It's biscuits o'clock. [CHUCKLES] It's biscuits o'clock. [CHUCKLES]
566 00:27:36,448 00:27:38,667 - Higgins! You're back! - Yeah! - Higgins! You're back! - Yeah!
567 00:27:38,669 00:27:40,345 All right. Well, hey, All right. Well, hey,
568 00:27:40,347 00:27:42,577 I know I may be a little too old-school for some folks, I know I may be a little too old-school for some folks,
569 00:27:42,579 00:27:44,955 but I'm gonna say it anyway. Hell to the yeah. but I'm gonna say it anyway. Hell to the yeah.
570 00:27:44,957 00:27:47,040 - Good to see you. - Nice to see you too. - Good to see you. - Nice to see you too.
571 00:27:47,042 00:27:49,209 - Here you go, boss. Those are yours. - Thank you, Ted. - Here you go, boss. Those are yours. - Thank you, Ted.
572 00:27:49,211 00:27:51,336 - [TED] Mm-hmm. - Oh, you've got to try one of these. - [TED] Mm-hmm. - Oh, you've got to try one of these.
573 00:27:51,338 00:27:52,566 Oh, no, he does not. Oh, no, he does not.
574 00:27:52,568 00:27:54,923 Caring is sharing, but I brought Higgins his own. Caring is sharing, but I brought Higgins his own.
575 00:27:54,925 00:27:56,341 - What? - [TED CHUCKLES] - What? - [TED CHUCKLES]
576 00:27:56,343 00:27:57,384 How did you know? How did you know?
577 00:27:57,386 00:27:59,177 Well, I had a hunch you were gonna be here. Well, I had a hunch you were gonna be here.
578 00:27:59,179 00:28:00,730 - Yeah. [CHUCKLES] - Oh, wow. - Yeah. [CHUCKLES] - Oh, wow.
579 00:28:00,732 00:28:02,732 Actually, those were for Trent Crimm's daughter. Actually, those were for Trent Crimm's daughter.
580 00:28:02,734 00:28:03,735 She turns three today. She turns three today.
581 00:28:03,737 00:28:05,662 But it means more to me if you had 'em. But it means more to me if you had 'em.
582 00:28:05,664 00:28:07,123 What? No. No, no. Come on. What? No. No, no. Come on.
583 00:28:07,125 00:28:08,728 No. It's okay. She won't remember. No. It's okay. She won't remember.
584 00:28:08,730 00:28:10,480 Oh, Ted, you've already told her? Oh, Ted, you've already told her?
585 00:28:10,482 00:28:12,190 Yeah, weeks ago. She's been looking forward to it. Yeah, weeks ago. She's been looking forward to it.
586 00:28:12,192 00:28:14,317 But she's three. She'll bounce right back. It'll be fine. But she's three. She'll bounce right back. It'll be fine.
587 00:28:14,319 00:28:16,069 - No way. - No, no. I insist. I insist. - No way. - No, no. I insist. I insist.
588 00:28:16,071 00:28:18,029 I'm screwing with you. I'm just messing around. I'm screwing with you. I'm just messing around.
589 00:28:18,031 00:28:20,866 I predicted this whole thing, and I made those myself for you. I predicted this whole thing, and I made those myself for you.
590 00:28:20,868 00:28:22,409 Oh. Thank you. Oh. Thank you.
591 00:28:22,411 00:28:24,128 [BOTH BABBLING] [BOTH BABBLING]
592 00:28:24,130 00:28:26,872 Okay, y'all. I'll see you in a little bit, okay? Let's go, Greyhounds. Okay, y'all. I'll see you in a little bit, okay? Let's go, Greyhounds.
593 00:28:26,874 00:28:28,665 - Whoo! - [REBECCA CHUCKLES] - Whoo! - [REBECCA CHUCKLES]
594 00:28:28,667 00:28:30,792 Yeah, these are definitely for a little girl. Yeah, these are definitely for a little girl.
595 00:28:30,794 00:28:33,295 Maybe he thinks you're silly and playful and mysterious. Maybe he thinks you're silly and playful and mysterious.
596 00:28:33,297 00:28:34,462 Oh, sure. Oh, sure.
597 00:28:34,464 00:28:35,924 [CHATTERING] [CHATTERING]
598 00:28:48,911 00:28:51,663 Okay, fellas! Need y'all to listen up. Okay, fellas! Need y'all to listen up.
599 00:28:53,108 00:28:54,276 Coach. Coach.
600 00:28:55,569 00:28:56,570 Coach. Coach.
601 00:29:00,657 00:29:02,908 - Now... - I know now's not the best time, Coach, - Now... - I know now's not the best time, Coach,
602 00:29:02,910 00:29:04,680 but I have been feeling physically sick but I have been feeling physically sick
603 00:29:04,682 00:29:06,620 since walking away from you the other day. since walking away from you the other day.
604 00:29:06,622 00:29:08,246 Plus last night, I had a horrible nightmare Plus last night, I had a horrible nightmare
605 00:29:08,248 00:29:10,373 that I was pecking you to death like a crow. that I was pecking you to death like a crow.
606 00:29:10,375 00:29:12,042 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
607 00:29:12,044 00:29:15,128 It's okay, Nate. We're all good in the hood, all right? It's okay, Nate. We're all good in the hood, all right?
608 00:29:15,130 00:29:16,796 - Oh, yeah. - But hey, but do me a favor. - Oh, yeah. - But hey, but do me a favor.
609 00:29:16,798 00:29:18,235 Try to apologize to me in your dream Try to apologize to me in your dream
610 00:29:18,237 00:29:19,441 so we're good on that side of things too. so we're good on that side of things too.
611 00:29:19,443 00:29:21,009 - Oh, yeah. Of course. - Thank you. - Oh, yeah. Of course. - Thank you.
612 00:29:21,011 00:29:23,803 Now, fellas, we got ourselves a heck of a match comin' up, yeah? Now, fellas, we got ourselves a heck of a match comin' up, yeah?
613 00:29:23,805 00:29:24,888 [PLAYERS MURMUR] [PLAYERS MURMUR]
614 00:29:24,890 00:29:26,610 And what I'm gonna need from all of y'all... And what I'm gonna need from all of y'all...
615 00:29:36,777 00:29:38,318 Sorry, mate. Sorry, mate.
616 00:29:38,320 00:29:41,573 My six-year-old niece found my girlfriend's vibrator. My six-year-old niece found my girlfriend's vibrator.
617 00:29:43,016 00:29:44,741 So I had to take her to get her ears pierced So I had to take her to get her ears pierced
618 00:29:44,743 00:29:46,493 in an attempt to erase the memory. in an attempt to erase the memory.
619 00:29:46,495 00:29:48,578 [PLAYERS MURMURING] [PLAYERS MURMURING]
620 00:29:48,580 00:29:49,831 Been there. Been there.
621 00:29:50,749 00:29:51,832 Can I say something? Can I say something?
622 00:29:51,834 00:29:53,460 Floor is yours, Captain. Floor is yours, Captain.
623 00:29:54,545 00:29:55,629 [SIGHS] [SIGHS]
624 00:29:57,339 00:30:00,215 Second team's gonna kick first team's fucking asses today. Second team's gonna kick first team's fucking asses today.
625 00:30:00,217 00:30:03,303 [CHATTERING, LAUGHING] [CHATTERING, LAUGHING]
626 00:30:09,434 00:30:11,079 All right, fellas! Finish getting ready, All right, fellas! Finish getting ready,
627 00:30:11,081 00:30:12,561 and then we'll do what the man says. and then we'll do what the man says.
628 00:30:12,563 00:30:14,323 We'll settle this out on the pitch. Let's go. We'll settle this out on the pitch. Let's go.
629 00:30:17,568 00:30:20,443 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
630 00:30:20,445 00:30:22,614 [MUSIC CONTINUES] [MUSIC CONTINUES]
630 00:30:20,445 00:30:22,614 [MUSIC CONTINUES] [MUSIC CONTINUES]