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# | Start | End | Original | Translated |
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1 | 00:00:00,001 | 00:00:02,914 | [ROCK MUSIC] | [ROCK MUSIC] |
2 | 00:00:02,939 | 00:00:05,781 | ♪♪ | ♪♪ |
3 | 00:00:06,000 | 00:00:07,382 | Driver is a young male. | Driver is a young male. |
4 | 00:00:07,407 | 00:00:10,252 | Appears to be having a seizure. Ambulance requested. | Appears to be having a seizure. Ambulance requested. |
5 | 00:00:10,277 | 00:00:12,858 | Yeah, these beats make me wanna rage! | Yeah, these beats make me wanna rage! |
6 | 00:00:12,883 | 00:00:14,980 | Grab me another vodka soda, bee-yatch! | Grab me another vodka soda, bee-yatch! |
7 | 00:00:15,005 | 00:00:16,403 | Don't see that every day, huh? | Don't see that every day, huh? |
8 | 00:00:17,284 | 00:00:19,102 | Does that make you jelly, dawg? | Does that make you jelly, dawg? |
9 | 00:00:19,127 | 00:00:21,131 | - Is this a concussion thing? - Sir, can your hear me? | - Is this a concussion thing? - Sir, can your hear me? |
10 | 00:00:21,155 | 00:00:22,844 | Ooh, ooh! Bloop-bloop. | Ooh, ooh! Bloop-bloop. |
11 | 00:00:22,869 | 00:00:24,125 | Phew, pew-pew! [BLOWS RASPBERRIES] | Phew, pew-pew! [BLOWS RASPBERRIES] |
12 | 00:00:24,149 | 00:00:25,943 | You gotta admit he's got some great moves. | You gotta admit he's got some great moves. |
13 | 00:00:25,968 | 00:00:29,017 | He looks like he's on a new synthetic club drug called Blast. | He looks like he's on a new synthetic club drug called Blast. |
14 | 00:00:29,042 | 00:00:31,648 | The user hallucinates a complete nightclub setting. | The user hallucinates a complete nightclub setting. |
15 | 00:00:31,673 | 00:00:32,840 | Lights, sound, everything. | Lights, sound, everything. |
16 | 00:00:32,865 | 00:00:33,872 | Yeah! | Yeah! |
17 | 00:00:33,897 | 00:00:35,718 | It's your boy Mr. Toasty! | It's your boy Mr. Toasty! |
18 | 00:00:35,743 | 00:00:37,277 | I'm putting this on the Gram! | I'm putting this on the Gram! |
19 | 00:00:37,302 | 00:00:38,480 | I've heard of this stuff. | I've heard of this stuff. |
20 | 00:00:38,505 | 00:00:40,800 | It's like 75 bucks per dose. Kind of pricey. | It's like 75 bucks per dose. Kind of pricey. |
21 | 00:00:40,825 | 00:00:42,192 | I mean, yes and no. | I mean, yes and no. |
22 | 00:00:42,216 | 00:00:44,394 | Once you factor in cover charge, bottle service. | Once you factor in cover charge, bottle service. |
23 | 00:00:44,418 | 00:00:45,728 | Plus the cost of an Uber. | Plus the cost of an Uber. |
24 | 00:00:45,753 | 00:00:46,997 | - It adds up. - What are we gonna do? | - It adds up. - What are we gonna do? |
25 | 00:00:47,021 | 00:00:48,599 | Maybe we have to wait until the song ends? | Maybe we have to wait until the song ends? |
26 | 00:00:48,623 | 00:00:50,509 | All right, I say we go in slowly | All right, I say we go in slowly |
27 | 00:00:50,534 | 00:00:51,801 | and pull him out gently. | and pull him out gently. |
28 | 00:00:51,826 | 00:00:53,028 | - Okay. - Come on, man. | - Okay. - Come on, man. |
29 | 00:00:53,053 | 00:00:54,053 | Come with us. | Come with us. |
30 | 00:00:54,078 | 00:00:57,123 | [DANCE MUSIC] | [DANCE MUSIC] |
31 | 00:00:57,148 | 00:01:01,148 | ♪♪ | ♪♪ |
32 | 00:01:02,198 | 00:01:04,109 | Whoo! | Whoo! |
33 | 00:01:04,134 | 00:01:09,887 | ♪♪ | ♪♪ |
34 | 00:01:10,166 | 00:01:11,261 | - Oh! - Stop. | - Oh! - Stop. |
35 | 00:01:11,286 | 00:01:12,689 | - Whoa! - All right, dude! | - Whoa! - All right, dude! |
36 | 00:01:12,714 | 00:01:14,224 | Hey! St... calm down! | Hey! St... calm down! |
37 | 00:01:14,248 | 00:01:15,704 | Lucy, you must have some moves to get a guy | Lucy, you must have some moves to get a guy |
38 | 00:01:15,728 | 00:01:16,729 | to leave the club with you. | to leave the club with you. |
39 | 00:01:16,753 | 00:01:18,373 | Excuse me, Ike. | Excuse me, Ike. |
40 | 00:01:19,116 | 00:01:21,470 | Hey, buddy, has anyone ever told you | Hey, buddy, has anyone ever told you |
41 | 00:01:21,495 | 00:01:23,464 | you look like a young Tony Stark? | you look like a young Tony Stark? |
42 | 00:01:23,499 | 00:01:25,835 | - [GRUNTS] - BOTH: Oh! | - [GRUNTS] - BOTH: Oh! |
43 | 00:01:25,860 | 00:01:26,860 | [COUGHS] | [COUGHS] |
44 | 00:01:27,140 | 00:01:28,838 | BOTH: Oh! Oh! Oh! | BOTH: Oh! Oh! Oh! |
45 | 00:01:28,863 | 00:01:30,930 | - [HORN HONKS] - Whoo! | - [HORN HONKS] - Whoo! |
46 | 00:01:30,955 | 00:01:33,078 | I wonder what happens on a second date. | I wonder what happens on a second date. |
47 | 00:01:33,668 | 00:01:34,978 | Are you okay? | Are you okay? |
48 | 00:01:35,003 | 00:01:37,924 | [FOREIGNER'S "HOT BLOODED"] | [FOREIGNER'S "HOT BLOODED"] |
49 | 00:01:37,949 | 00:01:41,949 | ♪♪ | ♪♪ |
50 | 00:01:42,421 | 00:01:45,306 | ♪ Well, I'm hot blooded ♪ | ♪ Well, I'm hot blooded ♪ |
51 | 00:01:45,331 | 00:01:47,857 | ♪ Check it and see ♪ | ♪ Check it and see ♪ |
52 | 00:01:47,882 | 00:01:51,795 | ♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪ | ♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪ |
53 | 00:01:51,820 | 00:01:54,167 | Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com | Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com |
54 | 00:01:55,089 | 00:01:57,805 | [MELLOW MUSIC] | [MELLOW MUSIC] |
55 | 00:01:57,830 | 00:02:00,337 | - Oh! - There she is! | - Oh! - There she is! |
56 | 00:02:00,362 | 00:02:02,672 | Lucy McConky, Judo Probie! | Lucy McConky, Judo Probie! |
57 | 00:02:02,697 | 00:02:04,198 | Wow. That's quite a neck-shiner. | Wow. That's quite a neck-shiner. |
58 | 00:02:04,223 | 00:02:05,289 | You know what? Rub some dirt in it. | You know what? Rub some dirt in it. |
59 | 00:02:05,313 | 00:02:07,344 | - You'll be fine. - Does that hurt at all, Luce? | - You'll be fine. - Does that hurt at all, Luce? |
60 | 00:02:07,369 | 00:02:08,813 | [DEEP VOICE] Only when I breathe or swallow. | [DEEP VOICE] Only when I breathe or swallow. |
61 | 00:02:08,837 | 00:02:11,280 | - ALL: Whoa! - What's that all about? | - ALL: Whoa! - What's that all about? |
62 | 00:02:11,305 | 00:02:13,217 | When the zonked-out driver whacked me in the throat, | When the zonked-out driver whacked me in the throat, |
63 | 00:02:13,241 | 00:02:14,489 | he contused my larynx. | he contused my larynx. |
64 | 00:02:14,514 | 00:02:16,286 | The doctor said I should be better in a week or two. | The doctor said I should be better in a week or two. |
65 | 00:02:16,310 | 00:02:18,022 | You're gonna sound like that for two weeks? | You're gonna sound like that for two weeks? |
66 | 00:02:18,046 | 00:02:19,352 | Yeah, give or take a couple of days, | Yeah, give or take a couple of days, |
67 | 00:02:19,376 | 00:02:21,838 | but he said it's gonna get worse before it gets better. | but he said it's gonna get worse before it gets better. |
68 | 00:02:21,863 | 00:02:23,493 | I can't wait for it to get worse. | I can't wait for it to get worse. |
69 | 00:02:23,518 | 00:02:25,365 | It's a little disturbing. | It's a little disturbing. |
70 | 00:02:25,390 | 00:02:27,749 | Are you crazy, Chief? This is entertaining as hell. | Are you crazy, Chief? This is entertaining as hell. |
71 | 00:02:27,774 | 00:02:29,300 | Hey, do the movie trailer voice for him. | Hey, do the movie trailer voice for him. |
72 | 00:02:29,324 | 00:02:30,657 | Ooh! | Ooh! |
73 | 00:02:31,117 | 00:02:33,557 | In a world full of fear, | In a world full of fear, |
74 | 00:02:33,582 | 00:02:36,305 | where right is wrong and up is down, | where right is wrong and up is down, |
75 | 00:02:36,330 | 00:02:39,732 | one man has the courage to take on the system. | one man has the courage to take on the system. |
76 | 00:02:39,757 | 00:02:41,644 | - Oh! - Whoa! | - Oh! - Whoa! |
77 | 00:02:41,669 | 00:02:43,403 | - Oh, no way! - Oh! | - Oh, no way! - Oh! |
78 | 00:02:43,428 | 00:02:46,164 | Do, uh, "Autobots, transform and roll out!" | Do, uh, "Autobots, transform and roll out!" |
79 | 00:02:46,189 | 00:02:48,652 | Autobots, transform and roll out! | Autobots, transform and roll out! |
80 | 00:02:48,676 | 00:02:51,254 | Oh! Optimus Prime is here! | Oh! Optimus Prime is here! |
81 | 00:02:51,279 | 00:02:53,409 | Beef. It's what's for dinner. | Beef. It's what's for dinner. |
82 | 00:02:53,434 | 00:02:55,615 | Beef. It's what's for dinner. | Beef. It's what's for dinner. |
83 | 00:02:55,640 | 00:02:58,261 | - [LAUGHS] - Yes! | - [LAUGHS] - Yes! |
84 | 00:02:58,286 | 00:02:59,730 | Okay, come on. Let's go, everybody. | Okay, come on. Let's go, everybody. |
85 | 00:02:59,754 | 00:03:01,674 | Back to work. Come on. Let's go. | Back to work. Come on. Let's go. |
86 | 00:03:02,148 | 00:03:03,317 | Oh, there he is. | Oh, there he is. |
87 | 00:03:03,342 | 00:03:04,987 | Oh, Ka'ponko. There you are! | Oh, Ka'ponko. There you are! |
88 | 00:03:05,012 | 00:03:08,204 | - Are you all right? - Hey, hey, hey, hey. | - Are you all right? - Hey, hey, hey, hey. |
89 | 00:03:08,229 | 00:03:10,273 | Hey, hey, hey. Yes, yes. | Hey, hey, hey. Yes, yes. |
90 | 00:03:10,298 | 00:03:11,405 | I'm fine. Why? | I'm fine. Why? |
91 | 00:03:11,430 | 00:03:12,876 | We heard there was a big scuffle | We heard there was a big scuffle |
92 | 00:03:12,901 | 00:03:14,500 | after that car crash this morning. | after that car crash this morning. |
93 | 00:03:14,525 | 00:03:15,969 | Uh, how did you hear about that? | Uh, how did you hear about that? |
94 | 00:03:15,994 | 00:03:17,611 | Well, your sister and I saw it on the internet. | Well, your sister and I saw it on the internet. |
95 | 00:03:17,635 | 00:03:19,342 | It's all over that Nextdoor neighborhood app. | It's all over that Nextdoor neighborhood app. |
96 | 00:03:19,366 | 00:03:20,496 | They said that the firefighters | They said that the firefighters |
97 | 00:03:20,520 | 00:03:23,086 | were being attacked by somebody on synthetic party drugs. | were being attacked by somebody on synthetic party drugs. |
98 | 00:03:23,111 | 00:03:24,954 | I heard the guy lifted up a car! | I heard the guy lifted up a car! |
99 | 00:03:24,979 | 00:03:27,606 | You guys have to get off that Nextdoor app, okay? | You guys have to get off that Nextdoor app, okay? |
100 | 00:03:27,631 | 00:03:30,331 | No, you need to leave the firefighting business. | No, you need to leave the firefighting business. |
101 | 00:03:30,356 | 00:03:31,755 | It's too dangerous. | It's too dangerous. |
102 | 00:03:31,780 | 00:03:33,697 | One of these days, you're gonna get yourself killed. | One of these days, you're gonna get yourself killed. |
103 | 00:03:33,721 | 00:03:34,832 | Okay, well, why don't you | Okay, well, why don't you |
104 | 00:03:34,856 | 00:03:36,423 | stick to your day job, Kailani? | stick to your day job, Kailani? |
105 | 00:03:36,448 | 00:03:37,942 | Because I've already got a mother. | Because I've already got a mother. |
106 | 00:03:37,967 | 00:03:39,679 | [LAUGHTER] | [LAUGHTER] |
107 | 00:03:39,704 | 00:03:41,905 | - Oh, I made it light. - Very funny. | - Oh, I made it light. - Very funny. |
108 | 00:03:41,930 | 00:03:44,241 | Now, are you going to come to the salon tonight? | Now, are you going to come to the salon tonight? |
109 | 00:03:44,266 | 00:03:45,642 | Yes, of course. I'll see you tonight. | Yes, of course. I'll see you tonight. |
110 | 00:03:45,666 | 00:03:47,412 | - Okay, we'll see you tonight. - Okay. Okay. | - Okay, we'll see you tonight. - Okay. Okay. |
111 | 00:03:47,437 | 00:03:48,845 | Okay, Mom! | Okay, Mom! |
112 | 00:03:48,870 | 00:03:50,780 | - Hey. - Whoa. | - Hey. - Whoa. |
113 | 00:03:50,805 | 00:03:52,405 | Please be careful out there. | Please be careful out there. |
114 | 00:03:52,540 | 00:03:55,100 | Okay. Stop worrying. | Okay. Stop worrying. |
115 | 00:03:55,125 | 00:03:56,310 | Okay. | Okay. |
116 | 00:03:56,335 | 00:03:58,623 | What's the matter with you, fart-face, Mom? | What's the matter with you, fart-face, Mom? |
117 | 00:03:58,925 | 00:04:01,324 | - I'll see you guys tonight. - Be careful. | - I'll see you guys tonight. - Be careful. |
118 | 00:04:01,349 | 00:04:02,548 | ♪♪ | ♪♪ |
119 | 00:04:02,573 | 00:04:04,716 | Eddie! Come here. | Eddie! Come here. |
120 | 00:04:04,741 | 00:04:06,280 | Chiefy, what's up? | Chiefy, what's up? |
121 | 00:04:06,305 | 00:04:08,926 | Did you order that tetherball pole like I asked? | Did you order that tetherball pole like I asked? |
122 | 00:04:08,957 | 00:04:10,734 | See, I can't tell if you're serious about that or not. | See, I can't tell if you're serious about that or not. |
123 | 00:04:10,758 | 00:04:12,002 | - Tetherball? - Yeah. | - Tetherball? - Yeah. |
124 | 00:04:12,026 | 00:04:13,625 | I love tetherball. It's great for morale. | I love tetherball. It's great for morale. |
125 | 00:04:13,649 | 00:04:15,806 | It's great for cardio. It's consistently rated one of | It's great for cardio. It's consistently rated one of |
126 | 00:04:15,830 | 00:04:17,408 | the most wholesome activities in the United States. | the most wholesome activities in the United States. |
127 | 00:04:17,432 | 00:04:19,239 | - You play tetherball? - I love tetherball. | - You play tetherball? - I love tetherball. |
128 | 00:04:19,264 | 00:04:20,694 | - I'm gonna order it... - Okay. | - I'm gonna order it... - Okay. |
129 | 00:04:20,719 | 00:04:22,612 | And pay with station money at this moment | And pay with station money at this moment |
130 | 00:04:22,637 | 00:04:24,547 | if you officially authorize it. | if you officially authorize it. |
131 | 00:04:24,681 | 00:04:25,809 | Authorized. | Authorized. |
132 | 00:04:25,834 | 00:04:28,351 | Now, because Lucy required medical attention, | Now, because Lucy required medical attention, |
133 | 00:04:28,376 | 00:04:30,079 | I have to file traumatic event paperwork. | I have to file traumatic event paperwork. |
134 | 00:04:30,104 | 00:04:31,794 | Oh, I find all paperwork traumatic. | Oh, I find all paperwork traumatic. |
135 | 00:04:31,819 | 00:04:33,823 | [LAUGHS] I'll be here all week. | [LAUGHS] I'll be here all week. |
136 | 00:04:33,848 | 00:04:35,869 | But seriously, folks, | But seriously, folks, |
137 | 00:04:35,894 | 00:04:37,805 | we have to have a critical incident stress debriefing. | we have to have a critical incident stress debriefing. |
138 | 00:04:37,829 | 00:04:39,028 | Who's gonna lead that? | Who's gonna lead that? |
139 | 00:04:39,053 | 00:04:41,565 | The designated peer counselor, me. | The designated peer counselor, me. |
140 | 00:04:41,589 | 00:04:44,434 | I find it amazing that you are the station peer counselor. | I find it amazing that you are the station peer counselor. |
141 | 00:04:44,458 | 00:04:46,637 | I find it amazing that I have to remind you | I find it amazing that I have to remind you |
142 | 00:04:46,661 | 00:04:48,519 | that I am woke AF. | that I am woke AF. |
143 | 00:04:48,544 | 00:04:49,551 | I don't know what that means. | I don't know what that means. |
144 | 00:04:49,575 | 00:04:51,776 | It means I am very in touch with my feelings, | It means I am very in touch with my feelings, |
145 | 00:04:51,800 | 00:04:54,350 | and I'm gonna help everyone else get there too. | and I'm gonna help everyone else get there too. |
146 | 00:04:54,478 | 00:04:56,245 | Okay, I guess we've come a long way | Okay, I guess we've come a long way |
147 | 00:04:56,270 | 00:04:57,737 | from the suck-it-up machismo days. | from the suck-it-up machismo days. |
148 | 00:04:57,762 | 00:04:59,073 | - Yeah. - You know what? | - Yeah. - You know what? |
149 | 00:04:59,098 | 00:05:00,461 | Don't spend too much time on this Lucy thing. | Don't spend too much time on this Lucy thing. |
150 | 00:05:00,485 | 00:05:01,674 | It's not that big of a deal. | It's not that big of a deal. |
151 | 00:05:01,699 | 00:05:03,632 | I'm gonna take as much time as needed, okay? | I'm gonna take as much time as needed, okay? |
152 | 00:05:03,657 | 00:05:05,255 | It's important for us to talk about this stuff. | It's important for us to talk about this stuff. |
153 | 00:05:05,279 | 00:05:06,746 | Okay. You're right. You're right. | Okay. You're right. You're right. |
154 | 00:05:06,771 | 00:05:08,458 | Don't forget about that tetherball pole! | Don't forget about that tetherball pole! |
155 | 00:05:08,927 | 00:05:11,260 | Yes, I'd like to make an appointment for a pap smear | Yes, I'd like to make an appointment for a pap smear |
156 | 00:05:11,285 | 00:05:12,662 | and a mammogram. | and a mammogram. |
157 | 00:05:12,687 | 00:05:15,789 | It's for me. Lucy McConky. | It's for me. Lucy McConky. |
158 | 00:05:17,103 | 00:05:19,602 | No. I'm Lucy McConky. | No. I'm Lucy McConky. |
159 | 00:05:19,627 | 00:05:21,536 | [LAUGHTER] | [LAUGHTER] |
160 | 00:05:21,561 | 00:05:23,872 | "I'm Lucifer McConky." [LAUGHTER] | "I'm Lucifer McConky." [LAUGHTER] |
161 | 00:05:23,897 | 00:05:24,935 | Heads up, everybody. | Heads up, everybody. |
162 | 00:05:24,960 | 00:05:26,500 | Because of this morning's accident, | Because of this morning's accident, |
163 | 00:05:26,525 | 00:05:28,878 | we have to have a critical incident stress debriefing. | we have to have a critical incident stress debriefing. |
164 | 00:05:28,903 | 00:05:31,248 | So we need to talk to a peer counselor. | So we need to talk to a peer counselor. |
165 | 00:05:31,273 | 00:05:32,483 | It's now S.O.P. | It's now S.O.P. |
166 | 00:05:32,507 | 00:05:34,594 | Aw, is it really necessary for this one, though, Chief? | Aw, is it really necessary for this one, though, Chief? |
167 | 00:05:34,618 | 00:05:36,962 | Yeah, I'm the one who got hurt, and I think it's hilarious. | Yeah, I'm the one who got hurt, and I think it's hilarious. |
168 | 00:05:36,987 | 00:05:38,663 | Then all you need to do is talk to the counselor. | Then all you need to do is talk to the counselor. |
169 | 00:05:38,687 | 00:05:40,090 | Well, who's the peer counselor? | Well, who's the peer counselor? |
170 | 00:05:40,114 | 00:05:42,238 | Some touchy-feely dude in a cardigan sweater. | Some touchy-feely dude in a cardigan sweater. |
171 | 00:05:42,263 | 00:05:43,701 | - Guaranteed. - [CHUCKLES] | - Guaranteed. - [CHUCKLES] |
172 | 00:05:43,726 | 00:05:45,344 | "I'm Dr. Benjamin Nesmith, | "I'm Dr. Benjamin Nesmith, |
173 | 00:05:45,369 | 00:05:48,157 | and I'm here to get you in touch with your emotions." | and I'm here to get you in touch with your emotions." |
174 | 00:05:48,758 | 00:05:51,300 | My name is Dr. Leslie Tenderheart, | My name is Dr. Leslie Tenderheart, |
175 | 00:05:51,325 | 00:05:53,211 | and we gonna use these two here dolls | and we gonna use these two here dolls |
176 | 00:05:53,236 | 00:05:54,990 | to act out our emotions, okay? | to act out our emotions, okay? |
177 | 00:05:55,015 | 00:05:56,682 | I'm the peer counselor. | I'm the peer counselor. |
178 | 00:05:56,707 | 00:05:58,041 | [LAUGHTER] | [LAUGHTER] |
179 | 00:05:58,066 | 00:05:59,465 | That would be amazing. | That would be amazing. |
180 | 00:05:59,490 | 00:06:01,703 | I don't think you get what the riff is, Cap. | I don't think you get what the riff is, Cap. |
181 | 00:06:01,736 | 00:06:03,904 | You're supposed to come up with, like, a wimpy name | You're supposed to come up with, like, a wimpy name |
182 | 00:06:03,929 | 00:06:05,206 | and a... and a voice. | and a... and a voice. |
183 | 00:06:05,231 | 00:06:07,480 | - You're missing the riff. - I am missing the riff, aren't I? | - You're missing the riff. - I am missing the riff, aren't I? |
184 | 00:06:07,504 | 00:06:08,679 | I got the riff. | I got the riff. |
185 | 00:06:08,704 | 00:06:10,987 | But I'm the certified peer counselor for this station. | But I'm the certified peer counselor for this station. |
186 | 00:06:11,012 | 00:06:12,730 | I am gonna lead the sessions. | I am gonna lead the sessions. |
187 | 00:06:12,755 | 00:06:14,933 | I mean, there's no way I can take Captain seriously | I mean, there's no way I can take Captain seriously |
188 | 00:06:14,958 | 00:06:16,225 | as a therapist. | as a therapist. |
189 | 00:06:16,250 | 00:06:17,649 | How does this make you feel? | How does this make you feel? |
190 | 00:06:17,674 | 00:06:20,802 | How does this make you feel? Ayy! | How does this make you feel? Ayy! |
191 | 00:06:20,827 | 00:06:21,865 | Here's your choice. | Here's your choice. |
192 | 00:06:21,890 | 00:06:22,891 | You can wrap hoses all day | You can wrap hoses all day |
193 | 00:06:22,915 | 00:06:24,719 | or you can drink coffee and chat with me. | or you can drink coffee and chat with me. |
194 | 00:06:24,744 | 00:06:27,336 | I guess it's Eddie Penisi, Peer Counselor! | I guess it's Eddie Penisi, Peer Counselor! |
195 | 00:06:27,361 | 00:06:29,250 | Tuesdays at 9:00 on the Discovery Channel. | Tuesdays at 9:00 on the Discovery Channel. |
196 | 00:06:29,275 | 00:06:32,341 | - Ooh, yes. - That voice is so good! | - Ooh, yes. - That voice is so good! |
197 | 00:06:35,468 | 00:06:37,147 | So how do you guys feel about | So how do you guys feel about |
198 | 00:06:37,171 | 00:06:38,907 | what happened this morning? | what happened this morning? |
199 | 00:06:40,552 | 00:06:42,819 | No? Okay, I'll make it easier. | No? Okay, I'll make it easier. |
200 | 00:06:42,844 | 00:06:44,317 | Just one word. | Just one word. |
201 | 00:06:44,342 | 00:06:47,521 | One word to describe how you felt when Lucy got belted. | One word to describe how you felt when Lucy got belted. |
202 | 00:06:47,546 | 00:06:49,553 | - Hungry. - Gassy. | - Hungry. - Gassy. |
203 | 00:06:49,578 | 00:06:51,244 | - Badass. - Itchy. | - Badass. - Itchy. |
204 | 00:06:51,269 | 00:06:52,843 | All right. Come on, guys. Let's go. Come on. | All right. Come on, guys. Let's go. Come on. |
205 | 00:06:52,867 | 00:06:54,336 | No, no. That's okay, Chief. | No, no. That's okay, Chief. |
206 | 00:06:54,361 | 00:06:56,458 | I used to be like this too. It's part of the process. | I used to be like this too. It's part of the process. |
207 | 00:06:56,483 | 00:06:58,017 | Let's just ease into it. | Let's just ease into it. |
208 | 00:06:58,145 | 00:07:00,369 | We can talk about whatever's on your minds. | We can talk about whatever's on your minds. |
209 | 00:07:00,394 | 00:07:02,595 | Jeez, I mean, I... I guess can jump in | Jeez, I mean, I... I guess can jump in |
210 | 00:07:02,620 | 00:07:06,289 | and say, uh, my parents never bought me | and say, uh, my parents never bought me |
211 | 00:07:06,314 | 00:07:07,524 | a ten-speed bicycle. | a ten-speed bicycle. |
212 | 00:07:07,549 | 00:07:09,868 | - Oh! - Oh, what a life, Ike! | - Oh! - Oh, what a life, Ike! |
213 | 00:07:09,893 | 00:07:12,181 | - Oh, my God! - Oh, that's sad. | - Oh, my God! - Oh, that's sad. |
214 | 00:07:12,206 | 00:07:14,006 | I guess I'll also go then. I mean... | I guess I'll also go then. I mean... |
215 | 00:07:14,031 | 00:07:16,920 | I can't eat dessert unless I finish my dinner. | I can't eat dessert unless I finish my dinner. |
216 | 00:07:16,945 | 00:07:18,388 | - No! - [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] | - No! - [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] |
217 | 00:07:18,412 | 00:07:19,990 | That's getting deep right there! | That's getting deep right there! |
218 | 00:07:20,014 | 00:07:21,579 | All right, I got something. | All right, I got something. |
219 | 00:07:21,604 | 00:07:22,884 | I've never seen "Breaking Bad," | I've never seen "Breaking Bad," |
220 | 00:07:22,909 | 00:07:24,510 | and I'm afraid that if I watch it now, | and I'm afraid that if I watch it now, |
221 | 00:07:24,535 | 00:07:26,146 | it's gonna feel overhyped. | it's gonna feel overhyped. |
222 | 00:07:27,689 | 00:07:29,929 | - BOTH: Are you kidding me? - Are you kidding me right now? | - BOTH: Are you kidding me? - Are you kidding me right now? |
223 | 00:07:29,953 | 00:07:31,802 | [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] | [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] |
224 | 00:07:31,826 | 00:07:33,537 | It is literally the greatest show | It is literally the greatest show |
225 | 00:07:33,561 | 00:07:35,004 | in the history of television. | in the history of television. |
226 | 00:07:35,029 | 00:07:37,007 | You mean as far as modern television, right? | You mean as far as modern television, right? |
227 | 00:07:37,031 | 00:07:38,409 | Don't start with the "Punky Brewster" stuff. | Don't start with the "Punky Brewster" stuff. |
228 | 00:07:38,433 | 00:07:40,944 | - It still holds up, man! - Andy, "Punky Brewster" | - It still holds up, man! - Andy, "Punky Brewster" |
229 | 00:07:40,969 | 00:07:42,146 | is not better than "Breaking Bad." | is not better than "Breaking Bad." |
230 | 00:07:42,170 | 00:07:43,369 | Okay, agree to disagree. | Okay, agree to disagree. |
231 | 00:07:43,394 | 00:07:44,948 | Lucy, have you seen "Punky Brewster"? | Lucy, have you seen "Punky Brewster"? |
232 | 00:07:44,973 | 00:07:46,296 | - No. - You've never seen | - No. - You've never seen |
233 | 00:07:46,321 | 00:07:48,539 | - "Punky Brewster"? - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | - "Punky Brewster"? - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. |
234 | 00:07:48,564 | 00:07:50,964 | [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] | [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] |
235 | 00:07:50,989 | 00:07:52,922 | ♪♪ | ♪♪ |
236 | 00:07:52,947 | 00:07:54,709 | Mmm! Wow, Mom! | Mmm! Wow, Mom! |
237 | 00:07:54,734 | 00:07:56,311 | This buffalo poi is amazing. | This buffalo poi is amazing. |
238 | 00:07:56,336 | 00:07:57,914 | You've gotta start selling this stuff. | You've gotta start selling this stuff. |
239 | 00:07:57,939 | 00:07:59,389 | No way, Jose! | No way, Jose! |
240 | 00:07:59,414 | 00:08:00,723 | - [RIP] - Oh! | - [RIP] - Oh! |
241 | 00:08:00,748 | 00:08:02,832 | That's a secret family recipe. | That's a secret family recipe. |
242 | 00:08:02,857 | 00:08:04,933 | So you're gonna find a safer job? | So you're gonna find a safer job? |
243 | 00:08:04,958 | 00:08:06,921 | [SCOFFS] What are you talking about, Kailani? | [SCOFFS] What are you talking about, Kailani? |
244 | 00:08:06,946 | 00:08:08,772 | I'm not gonna stop being a firefighter. | I'm not gonna stop being a firefighter. |
245 | 00:08:08,797 | 00:08:10,574 | Well, if you think we were gonna wax your butt | Well, if you think we were gonna wax your butt |
246 | 00:08:10,598 | 00:08:12,722 | for your open-casket funeral, then you're mistaken! | for your open-casket funeral, then you're mistaken! |
247 | 00:08:12,747 | 00:08:13,747 | Whoa, whoa! | Whoa, whoa! |
248 | 00:08:13,772 | 00:08:15,605 | What's going on with you, Kailani? | What's going on with you, Kailani? |
249 | 00:08:15,630 | 00:08:17,809 | And why would you think that people would see my naked butt | And why would you think that people would see my naked butt |
250 | 00:08:17,833 | 00:08:20,517 | in an open-casket funeral? [CHUCKLES] | in an open-casket funeral? [CHUCKLES] |
251 | 00:08:20,542 | 00:08:22,957 | There's something that you need to know, Ka'ponko. | There's something that you need to know, Ka'ponko. |
252 | 00:08:22,982 | 00:08:24,165 | Uh, this morning when we thought | Uh, this morning when we thought |
253 | 00:08:24,189 | 00:08:25,522 | something happened to you, | something happened to you, |
254 | 00:08:25,547 | 00:08:28,256 | we realized that it would be a tragedy | we realized that it would be a tragedy |
255 | 00:08:28,282 | 00:08:30,475 | if... if you died without knowing the truth. | if... if you died without knowing the truth. |
256 | 00:08:30,500 | 00:08:32,244 | Wait. What truth? | Wait. What truth? |
257 | 00:08:32,487 | 00:08:33,797 | Uh... | Uh... |
258 | 00:08:33,822 | 00:08:35,939 | I am not your mother. | I am not your mother. |
259 | 00:08:36,238 | 00:08:38,104 | Kailani is. | Kailani is. |
260 | 00:08:38,872 | 00:08:40,626 | [SCOFFS] Okay, what is this? | [SCOFFS] Okay, what is this? |
261 | 00:08:40,651 | 00:08:42,445 | "Star Wars"? "I am not your mother." | "Star Wars"? "I am not your mother." |
262 | 00:08:42,470 | 00:08:44,474 | I had you when I was just 16 years old. | I had you when I was just 16 years old. |
263 | 00:08:44,499 | 00:08:47,500 | So we decided it would be best if we raised you | So we decided it would be best if we raised you |
264 | 00:08:47,525 | 00:08:49,525 | thinking she was your mother and I was your sister. | thinking she was your mother and I was your sister. |
265 | 00:08:52,422 | 00:08:54,083 | Are you serious? | Are you serious? |
266 | 00:08:54,307 | 00:08:56,219 | And the man that you know as Cousin Bill | And the man that you know as Cousin Bill |
267 | 00:08:56,244 | 00:08:57,891 | is actually your father. | is actually your father. |
268 | 00:08:57,916 | 00:08:59,614 | That's why he gives you a five dollar bill | That's why he gives you a five dollar bill |
269 | 00:08:59,639 | 00:09:00,691 | in your birthday card every year. | in your birthday card every year. |
270 | 00:09:00,715 | 00:09:03,119 | Why did you wait to tell me after the accident? | Why did you wait to tell me after the accident? |
271 | 00:09:03,144 | 00:09:04,929 | Well, it was a family secret! | Well, it was a family secret! |
272 | 00:09:04,954 | 00:09:06,896 | No, no. Buffalo poi is a family secret. | No, no. Buffalo poi is a family secret. |
273 | 00:09:06,921 | 00:09:08,298 | This is something bigger than that. | This is something bigger than that. |
274 | 00:09:08,322 | 00:09:09,967 | You just have to get over it, all right? | You just have to get over it, all right? |
275 | 00:09:09,991 | 00:09:11,620 | The sooner we stop talking about this, | The sooner we stop talking about this, |
276 | 00:09:11,645 | 00:09:12,978 | the sooner we can move on. | the sooner we can move on. |
277 | 00:09:13,003 | 00:09:14,781 | We just started talking about this! | We just started talking about this! |
278 | 00:09:14,806 | 00:09:16,583 | That's just the way it is. | That's just the way it is. |
279 | 00:09:16,608 | 00:09:18,373 | Do not touch me! | Do not touch me! |
280 | 00:09:18,867 | 00:09:21,383 | Ow, ow, ow! | Ow, ow, ow! |
281 | 00:09:21,408 | 00:09:23,208 | [RIP] | [RIP] |
282 | 00:09:23,445 | 00:09:25,582 | My asshole... | My asshole... |
283 | 00:09:32,998 | 00:09:35,224 | [ROCK MUSIC] | [ROCK MUSIC] |
284 | 00:09:35,249 | 00:09:36,249 | All right, everybody, | All right, everybody, |
285 | 00:09:36,274 | 00:09:38,201 | let's take this session very seriously | let's take this session very seriously |
286 | 00:09:38,226 | 00:09:40,937 | and not say things we think Eddie wants to hear | and not say things we think Eddie wants to hear |
287 | 00:09:40,962 | 00:09:43,430 | because we want to get it over with. | because we want to get it over with. |
288 | 00:09:43,658 | 00:09:45,125 | Huh? | Huh? |
289 | 00:09:45,150 | 00:09:46,963 | Counselor Penisi, take it away. | Counselor Penisi, take it away. |
290 | 00:09:46,988 | 00:09:49,189 | Great intro, Chief. Thank you very much. | Great intro, Chief. Thank you very much. |
291 | 00:09:49,214 | 00:09:50,792 | Lucy's accident reminded me | Lucy's accident reminded me |
292 | 00:09:50,817 | 00:09:52,661 | that firefighters are vulnerable. | that firefighters are vulnerable. |
293 | 00:09:52,686 | 00:09:54,553 | Anybody else feel that way? | Anybody else feel that way? |
294 | 00:09:55,013 | 00:09:56,314 | Look, I know we're all a bunch | Look, I know we're all a bunch |
295 | 00:09:56,338 | 00:09:58,032 | of tough sons-of-bitches here. | of tough sons-of-bitches here. |
296 | 00:09:58,057 | 00:10:00,450 | We help people, so we don't need help. | We help people, so we don't need help. |
297 | 00:10:00,475 | 00:10:02,212 | We shouldn't have insecurities. | We shouldn't have insecurities. |
298 | 00:10:02,237 | 00:10:04,454 | So let me tell you about my insecurity. | So let me tell you about my insecurity. |
299 | 00:10:04,479 | 00:10:05,930 | All right, you may not know this, | All right, you may not know this, |
300 | 00:10:05,955 | 00:10:07,812 | but I have always been neurotic | but I have always been neurotic |
301 | 00:10:07,837 | 00:10:09,775 | about being on the shorter side | about being on the shorter side |
302 | 00:10:09,800 | 00:10:11,060 | by firefighter standards. | by firefighter standards. |
303 | 00:10:11,085 | 00:10:12,463 | - Hey. - Oh, come on. | - Hey. - Oh, come on. |
304 | 00:10:12,487 | 00:10:13,846 | - You should play basketball. - Yeah, right. | - You should play basketball. - Yeah, right. |
305 | 00:10:13,870 | 00:10:16,666 | Okay, but when I was starting out, | Okay, but when I was starting out, |
306 | 00:10:16,691 | 00:10:18,201 | I wanted to be respected. | I wanted to be respected. |
307 | 00:10:18,226 | 00:10:20,857 | Especially 'cause my dad was a hot shot within the department. | Especially 'cause my dad was a hot shot within the department. |
308 | 00:10:20,882 | 00:10:23,229 | I was afraid that a lot of the older guys | I was afraid that a lot of the older guys |
309 | 00:10:23,254 | 00:10:25,588 | were gonna make fun of me for being short. | were gonna make fun of me for being short. |
310 | 00:10:26,815 | 00:10:29,986 | And truthfully, some of 'em did. | And truthfully, some of 'em did. |
311 | 00:10:30,233 | 00:10:32,767 | So I... | So I... |
312 | 00:10:34,509 | 00:10:37,887 | Made love to a lot of their wives and girlfriends. | Made love to a lot of their wives and girlfriends. |
313 | 00:10:37,912 | 00:10:39,179 | And that helped. | And that helped. |
314 | 00:10:39,204 | 00:10:41,372 | That helped a lot, actually. | That helped a lot, actually. |
315 | 00:10:42,032 | 00:10:43,475 | Now I feel bad about it | Now I feel bad about it |
316 | 00:10:43,500 | 00:10:46,496 | because I threw some A game around town. | because I threw some A game around town. |
317 | 00:10:46,686 | 00:10:49,356 | I gotta tell you, I've never spoken about that, but... | I gotta tell you, I've never spoken about that, but... |
318 | 00:10:49,381 | 00:10:51,064 | [SIGHS] | [SIGHS] |
319 | 00:10:51,089 | 00:10:53,947 | It feels really good to get off my chest. | It feels really good to get off my chest. |
320 | 00:10:53,972 | 00:10:56,213 | I had a weird dream last night. | I had a weird dream last night. |
321 | 00:10:56,411 | 00:10:58,611 | Still pretty shaken up about it. | Still pretty shaken up about it. |
322 | 00:10:59,100 | 00:11:00,966 | I was on a train. | I was on a train. |
323 | 00:11:01,069 | 00:11:02,869 | It was going really fast, | It was going really fast, |
324 | 00:11:02,894 | 00:11:05,448 | and we were approaching a tunnel. | and we were approaching a tunnel. |
325 | 00:11:05,473 | 00:11:07,513 | And just as we were about to enter it, | And just as we were about to enter it, |
326 | 00:11:07,541 | 00:11:09,679 | the train went into reverse, | the train went into reverse, |
327 | 00:11:10,344 | 00:11:12,286 | and it backed out of the tunnel. | and it backed out of the tunnel. |
328 | 00:11:13,153 | 00:11:17,107 | And then it lurched itself back into the tunnel. | And then it lurched itself back into the tunnel. |
329 | 00:11:17,132 | 00:11:18,824 | And it was totally out of control. | And it was totally out of control. |
330 | 00:11:18,849 | 00:11:21,525 | It was moving forward and backward. | It was moving forward and backward. |
331 | 00:11:21,550 | 00:11:23,332 | Forward and backward. | Forward and backward. |
332 | 00:11:23,357 | 00:11:25,121 | - That's a sex dream. - No, it wasn't. | - That's a sex dream. - No, it wasn't. |
333 | 00:11:25,159 | 00:11:26,562 | It was terrifying. | It was terrifying. |
334 | 00:11:26,587 | 00:11:29,095 | And then to make matters worse, | And then to make matters worse, |
335 | 00:11:29,120 | 00:11:30,846 | somebody spilt their milk all over me. | somebody spilt their milk all over me. |
336 | 00:11:30,871 | 00:11:32,982 | Okay, thank you. Thank you, Granny. | Okay, thank you. Thank you, Granny. |
337 | 00:11:33,007 | 00:11:34,250 | Trains can be scary. | Trains can be scary. |
338 | 00:11:34,275 | 00:11:36,287 | - Um... - Yeah. | - Um... - Yeah. |
339 | 00:11:37,369 | 00:11:39,082 | As an exotic dancer, | As an exotic dancer, |
340 | 00:11:39,107 | 00:11:41,908 | sometimes I feel subjectified. | sometimes I feel subjectified. |
341 | 00:11:41,933 | 00:11:43,043 | Objectified. | Objectified. |
342 | 00:11:43,068 | 00:11:44,224 | No, no. Subjectified. | No, no. Subjectified. |
343 | 00:11:44,249 | 00:11:47,356 | Like I'm just subject to all this constant attention | Like I'm just subject to all this constant attention |
344 | 00:11:47,381 | 00:11:48,554 | by beautiful women. | by beautiful women. |
345 | 00:11:48,579 | 00:11:50,891 | They wanna give me money and, you know, | They wanna give me money and, you know, |
346 | 00:11:50,916 | 00:11:53,567 | like, a fur coat or an Xbox. | like, a fur coat or an Xbox. |
347 | 00:11:53,592 | 00:11:54,872 | Why don't you just quit? | Why don't you just quit? |
348 | 00:11:54,897 | 00:11:56,673 | 'Cause I love the money. | 'Cause I love the money. |
349 | 00:11:57,659 | 00:11:59,769 | I guess, and the attention. | I guess, and the attention. |
350 | 00:11:59,794 | 00:12:01,370 | Like for instance, okay, | Like for instance, okay, |
351 | 00:12:01,395 | 00:12:03,307 | the other day, this lady paid me | the other day, this lady paid me |
352 | 00:12:03,331 | 00:12:05,149 | to paint her daughter's bedroom | to paint her daughter's bedroom |
353 | 00:12:05,174 | 00:12:06,666 | wearing nothing but a G-string. | wearing nothing but a G-string. |
354 | 00:12:06,691 | 00:12:09,060 | So I did it, and I'm like, "Okay, wait. | So I did it, and I'm like, "Okay, wait. |
355 | 00:12:09,085 | 00:12:12,916 | Am I a dancer, or am I a painter?" | Am I a dancer, or am I a painter?" |
356 | 00:12:12,941 | 00:12:14,232 | You know? | You know? |
357 | 00:12:14,257 | 00:12:16,235 | Like, I was having an indemnity crisis. | Like, I was having an indemnity crisis. |
358 | 00:12:16,260 | 00:12:18,107 | - Identity crisis. - No, indemnity. | - Identity crisis. - No, indemnity. |
359 | 00:12:18,132 | 00:12:19,590 | Like if I felt like if I did a poor job | Like if I felt like if I did a poor job |
360 | 00:12:19,614 | 00:12:21,652 | painting her bedroom, I'd be held financially responsible. | painting her bedroom, I'd be held financially responsible. |
361 | 00:12:21,676 | 00:12:23,250 | Okay. Good share, Ike. | Okay. Good share, Ike. |
362 | 00:12:23,275 | 00:12:24,928 | Speaking of daughters, | Speaking of daughters, |
363 | 00:12:24,953 | 00:12:28,154 | Terry, let's talk about the Lucy incident. | Terry, let's talk about the Lucy incident. |
364 | 00:12:28,400 | 00:12:30,600 | My sister is my mother! | My sister is my mother! |
365 | 00:12:30,641 | 00:12:31,905 | Say again? | Say again? |
366 | 00:12:31,930 | 00:12:33,653 | After the Lucy incident, | After the Lucy incident, |
367 | 00:12:33,678 | 00:12:37,540 | my mother and sister were so worried about me dying | my mother and sister were so worried about me dying |
368 | 00:12:37,565 | 00:12:39,832 | that they confessed that my sister had me | that they confessed that my sister had me |
369 | 00:12:39,857 | 00:12:41,352 | when she was 16, | when she was 16, |
370 | 00:12:41,377 | 00:12:44,370 | and they've been pretending that I'm her little brother. | and they've been pretending that I'm her little brother. |
371 | 00:12:44,395 | 00:12:47,173 | - Whoa. - No, woe is me. | - Whoa. - No, woe is me. |
372 | 00:12:47,198 | 00:12:49,532 | Because my whole childhood is twisted. | Because my whole childhood is twisted. |
373 | 00:12:49,599 | 00:12:51,910 | Also I just realized that I went to senior prom | Also I just realized that I went to senior prom |
374 | 00:12:51,935 | 00:12:53,642 | with my mom. | with my mom. |
375 | 00:12:53,914 | 00:12:56,225 | And I've been getting my butt waxed this whole time | And I've been getting my butt waxed this whole time |
376 | 00:12:56,250 | 00:12:57,650 | by my grandmother! | by my grandmother! |
377 | 00:12:57,675 | 00:12:59,829 | Can we just circle back to the... the prom thing? | Can we just circle back to the... the prom thing? |
378 | 00:12:59,854 | 00:13:02,767 | Did you say you went to senior prom with your sister? | Did you say you went to senior prom with your sister? |
379 | 00:13:02,791 | 00:13:04,056 | The worst part about it | The worst part about it |
380 | 00:13:04,081 | 00:13:06,836 | is that I can't even talk about it. | is that I can't even talk about it. |
381 | 00:13:06,861 | 00:13:08,928 | They just want me to forget it | They just want me to forget it |
382 | 00:13:08,953 | 00:13:10,931 | and don't make it a big deal. | and don't make it a big deal. |
383 | 00:13:10,956 | 00:13:13,068 | Hang on, they won't even let you talk about it? | Hang on, they won't even let you talk about it? |
384 | 00:13:13,093 | 00:13:14,644 | No, Cap! | No, Cap! |
385 | 00:13:14,669 | 00:13:17,390 | They just say, "Push it down, Ka'ponko! | They just say, "Push it down, Ka'ponko! |
386 | 00:13:17,415 | 00:13:19,050 | Push it down!" | Push it down!" |
387 | 00:13:19,075 | 00:13:22,244 | Andy, you need to have it out with them tonight. | Andy, you need to have it out with them tonight. |
388 | 00:13:22,475 | 00:13:23,707 | - [RIPS] - Ah! | - [RIPS] - Ah! |
389 | 00:13:23,732 | 00:13:26,044 | I don't understand why you won't help me process this. | I don't understand why you won't help me process this. |
390 | 00:13:26,069 | 00:13:27,791 | Don't you see how hard this is for me? | Don't you see how hard this is for me? |
391 | 00:13:27,816 | 00:13:29,527 | This must be your first Brazilian. | This must be your first Brazilian. |
392 | 00:13:29,551 | 00:13:31,897 | Yeah, this patch is way stubborn. | Yeah, this patch is way stubborn. |
393 | 00:13:31,922 | 00:13:33,526 | - Ah! - Come on! | - Ah! - Come on! |
394 | 00:13:33,551 | 00:13:35,329 | When I was 12 years old looking through | When I was 12 years old looking through |
395 | 00:13:35,354 | 00:13:37,667 | the peephole into my sister's room, I was actually | the peephole into my sister's room, I was actually |
396 | 00:13:37,692 | 00:13:39,644 | watching my mother hook up with her boyfriend. | watching my mother hook up with her boyfriend. |
397 | 00:13:39,669 | 00:13:41,560 | You know what, this is hard for me, too, all right? | You know what, this is hard for me, too, all right? |
398 | 00:13:41,584 | 00:13:44,355 | Yesterday I was a mother, today I'm a grandmother. | Yesterday I was a mother, today I'm a grandmother. |
399 | 00:13:44,380 | 00:13:46,214 | I'm too young to be a grandmother! | I'm too young to be a grandmother! |
400 | 00:13:46,239 | 00:13:47,342 | - [RIPS] - Okay. | - [RIPS] - Okay. |
401 | 00:13:47,367 | 00:13:48,934 | Feet, back, nipples done. | Feet, back, nipples done. |
402 | 00:13:48,959 | 00:13:50,149 | Come on! | Come on! |
403 | 00:13:50,174 | 00:13:51,411 | Sorry for the distractions. | Sorry for the distractions. |
404 | 00:13:51,436 | 00:13:53,279 | My son was just leaving! | My son was just leaving! |
405 | 00:13:53,304 | 00:13:54,478 | I'm not going anywhere. | I'm not going anywhere. |
406 | 00:13:54,503 | 00:13:56,285 | Oh! Whew! | Oh! Whew! |
407 | 00:13:56,310 | 00:13:58,743 | Hiya, Myawani. Whew! | Hiya, Myawani. Whew! |
408 | 00:13:58,768 | 00:14:00,533 | You mom-sister and grandma-mom | You mom-sister and grandma-mom |
409 | 00:14:00,558 | 00:14:01,756 | give good wax. | give good wax. |
410 | 00:14:01,781 | 00:14:03,292 | And great family drama. | And great family drama. |
411 | 00:14:03,317 | 00:14:04,517 | Better than the soap operas | Better than the soap operas |
412 | 00:14:04,542 | 00:14:06,362 | I watch at home with my mother. | I watch at home with my mother. |
413 | 00:14:06,387 | 00:14:08,187 | See you girls next month. | See you girls next month. |
414 | 00:14:08,684 | 00:14:10,414 | I have no mother. | I have no mother. |
415 | 00:14:10,741 | 00:14:12,369 | I have no grandma either. | I have no grandma either. |
416 | 00:14:12,394 | 00:14:14,438 | Wha... [SCOFFS] | Wha... [SCOFFS] |
417 | 00:14:14,462 | 00:14:16,997 | - Do a cow. - Moo! | - Do a cow. - Moo! |
418 | 00:14:17,022 | 00:14:18,527 | [LAUGHTER] | [LAUGHTER] |
419 | 00:14:18,552 | 00:14:21,174 | - Do a frog. - Ribbit! Ribbit! | - Do a frog. - Ribbit! Ribbit! |
420 | 00:14:21,199 | 00:14:22,899 | Oh, a gorilla, a gorilla! Do a gorilla! | Oh, a gorilla, a gorilla! Do a gorilla! |
421 | 00:14:22,924 | 00:14:24,914 | Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! | Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! |
422 | 00:14:24,939 | 00:14:26,650 | [LAUGHTER] | [LAUGHTER] |
423 | 00:14:26,674 | 00:14:31,013 | [COUGHING] | [COUGHING] |
424 | 00:14:31,745 | 00:14:32,993 | Hey, Chief, we still going | Hey, Chief, we still going |
425 | 00:14:33,018 | 00:14:34,795 | furniture shopping together this weekend? | furniture shopping together this weekend? |
426 | 00:14:34,820 | 00:14:38,128 | Uh, my weekend's starting to fill up a little bit. | Uh, my weekend's starting to fill up a little bit. |
427 | 00:14:38,152 | 00:14:40,986 | I got some things with your sisters I've gotta do... | I got some things with your sisters I've gotta do... |
428 | 00:14:41,011 | 00:14:42,161 | What? We made plans. | What? We made plans. |
429 | 00:14:42,186 | 00:14:44,273 | And I thought we could go do karaoke afterwards. | And I thought we could go do karaoke afterwards. |
430 | 00:14:44,298 | 00:14:45,768 | Is your voice getting lower? | Is your voice getting lower? |
431 | 00:14:45,793 | 00:14:48,357 | Yeah, I told you it was gonna get worse before it got better. | Yeah, I told you it was gonna get worse before it got better. |
432 | 00:14:48,382 | 00:14:50,765 | [GRUNTING, COUGHING] | [GRUNTING, COUGHING] |
433 | 00:14:50,790 | 00:14:52,475 | You hear that? I just... | You hear that? I just... |
434 | 00:14:52,500 | 00:14:53,673 | I think I just heard | I think I just heard |
435 | 00:14:53,698 | 00:14:55,409 | some pizza rolls in the microwave. | some pizza rolls in the microwave. |
436 | 00:14:55,434 | 00:14:56,938 | The one in my office. | The one in my office. |
437 | 00:14:56,963 | 00:14:58,582 | Uh, I'm just gonna... | Uh, I'm just gonna... |
438 | 00:14:58,666 | 00:15:00,533 | I'm gonna grab them. | I'm gonna grab them. |
439 | 00:15:00,589 | 00:15:02,389 | I'll be right back. | I'll be right back. |
440 | 00:15:02,595 | 00:15:04,353 | We have pizza rolls? | We have pizza rolls? |
441 | 00:15:04,378 | 00:15:05,890 | Hey, Chief, bring some back! | Hey, Chief, bring some back! |
442 | 00:15:06,947 | 00:15:08,205 | Terry, Terry, Terry, Terry. | Terry, Terry, Terry, Terry. |
443 | 00:15:08,230 | 00:15:09,508 | Hang on. | Hang on. |
444 | 00:15:10,888 | 00:15:12,562 | I'd love it if you'd share today. | I'd love it if you'd share today. |
445 | 00:15:12,587 | 00:15:14,219 | Why? I wasn't even at the accident. | Why? I wasn't even at the accident. |
446 | 00:15:14,244 | 00:15:15,765 | The accident involved your daughter. | The accident involved your daughter. |
447 | 00:15:15,790 | 00:15:18,103 | - I'm fine, Eddie. - I know. I know. | - I'm fine, Eddie. - I know. I know. |
448 | 00:15:18,128 | 00:15:20,370 | Sometimes there's things hiding inside | Sometimes there's things hiding inside |
449 | 00:15:20,395 | 00:15:21,527 | that we don't know about | that we don't know about |
450 | 00:15:21,552 | 00:15:23,014 | that come out when we talk about them. | that come out when we talk about them. |
451 | 00:15:23,038 | 00:15:24,175 | You want me to share right now? | You want me to share right now? |
452 | 00:15:24,199 | 00:15:25,442 | Is that what you want? Huh? | Is that what you want? Huh? |
453 | 00:15:25,467 | 00:15:27,578 | Okay. [MOCKS CRYING] | Okay. [MOCKS CRYING] |
454 | 00:15:27,602 | 00:15:29,790 | I can't believe you haven't ordered the tetherball pole! | I can't believe you haven't ordered the tetherball pole! |
455 | 00:15:29,814 | 00:15:32,014 | [MOCKS CRYING] Is that what you want? | [MOCKS CRYING] Is that what you want? |
456 | 00:15:32,039 | 00:15:34,674 | - For me to cry? - Terry, please. | - For me to cry? - Terry, please. |
457 | 00:15:34,699 | 00:15:36,837 | - I've seen you cry a million times. - Bullshit! | - I've seen you cry a million times. - Bullshit! |
458 | 00:15:36,862 | 00:15:38,455 | You cried when Ichiro retired. | You cried when Ichiro retired. |
459 | 00:15:38,480 | 00:15:39,953 | - Prove it. - I have it on video. | - Prove it. - I have it on video. |
460 | 00:15:39,978 | 00:15:42,010 | You're lucky I'm even sitting in on those sessions. | You're lucky I'm even sitting in on those sessions. |
461 | 00:15:42,035 | 00:15:44,594 | Why don't you go use your Oprah routine with Andy? | Why don't you go use your Oprah routine with Andy? |
462 | 00:15:44,619 | 00:15:46,515 | Focus on people with real problems, | Focus on people with real problems, |
463 | 00:15:46,540 | 00:15:47,820 | 'cause I don't have any. | 'cause I don't have any. |
464 | 00:15:49,130 | 00:15:50,729 | Okay. | Okay. |
465 | 00:15:53,061 | 00:15:54,156 | Okay, gang, | Okay, gang, |
466 | 00:15:54,181 | 00:15:55,739 | we're gonna try something a little different today. | we're gonna try something a little different today. |
467 | 00:15:55,763 | 00:15:57,141 | We're gonna do some roleplaying. | We're gonna do some roleplaying. |
468 | 00:15:57,165 | 00:15:58,669 | - Ooh. - Kinky. | - Ooh. - Kinky. |
469 | 00:15:58,694 | 00:16:00,837 | And I brought some special guests. | And I brought some special guests. |
470 | 00:16:01,394 | 00:16:03,154 | Ladies, come on in. | Ladies, come on in. |
471 | 00:16:03,983 | 00:16:05,885 | Whoa. Super kinky. | Whoa. Super kinky. |
472 | 00:16:05,910 | 00:16:07,417 | Hey, what is this? | Hey, what is this? |
473 | 00:16:07,442 | 00:16:09,187 | Don't worry. You don't have to do anything. | Don't worry. You don't have to do anything. |
474 | 00:16:09,212 | 00:16:10,754 | I just want you to watch, okay? | I just want you to watch, okay? |
475 | 00:16:10,779 | 00:16:12,422 | Come on. Guys, come on up here. | Come on. Guys, come on up here. |
476 | 00:16:12,447 | 00:16:13,747 | Ladies, go have a seat. | Ladies, go have a seat. |
477 | 00:16:15,117 | 00:16:16,552 | - Okay, Ikie. - Yeah. | - Okay, Ikie. - Yeah. |
478 | 00:16:16,577 | 00:16:19,028 | - You are gonna play Kailani. - Oh, cool! | - You are gonna play Kailani. - Oh, cool! |
479 | 00:16:19,053 | 00:16:20,098 | [MIMICS GUNS SHOOTING] | [MIMICS GUNS SHOOTING] |
480 | 00:16:20,122 | 00:16:22,765 | Granny, you're gonna play grandma. | Granny, you're gonna play grandma. |
481 | 00:16:22,790 | 00:16:23,988 | It is such an honor. | It is such an honor. |
482 | 00:16:24,013 | 00:16:26,245 | Andy, you're gonna be you, okay? | Andy, you're gonna be you, okay? |
483 | 00:16:26,270 | 00:16:27,605 | Now you can say what you want to say. | Now you can say what you want to say. |
484 | 00:16:27,629 | 00:16:30,670 | Uh, should we do the accents, or is that problematic? | Uh, should we do the accents, or is that problematic? |
485 | 00:16:30,695 | 00:16:32,094 | Your choice. | Your choice. |
486 | 00:16:32,400 | 00:16:33,577 | We weren't sure. | We weren't sure. |
487 | 00:16:33,601 | 00:16:35,200 | I don't think this is gonna end well. | I don't think this is gonna end well. |
488 | 00:16:35,225 | 00:16:37,329 | You've hurt me on so many levels. | You've hurt me on so many levels. |
489 | 00:16:37,354 | 00:16:39,783 | One, that you've kept it from me. | One, that you've kept it from me. |
490 | 00:16:39,808 | 00:16:42,475 | And two, that we can't even talk about it. | And two, that we can't even talk about it. |
491 | 00:16:43,277 | 00:16:44,925 | [JAMAICAN ACCENT] Don't worry about it, brah! | [JAMAICAN ACCENT] Don't worry about it, brah! |
492 | 00:16:44,949 | 00:16:47,347 | What's your favorite wax technique? | What's your favorite wax technique? |
493 | 00:16:47,558 | 00:16:49,402 | [JAMAICAN ACCENT] Up and down, side to side. | [JAMAICAN ACCENT] Up and down, side to side. |
494 | 00:16:49,427 | 00:16:51,438 | - It don't matter. - Wrong. | - It don't matter. - Wrong. |
495 | 00:16:51,463 | 00:16:54,044 | You apply the wax in the direction the hair grows, | You apply the wax in the direction the hair grows, |
496 | 00:16:54,069 | 00:16:55,465 | then you pull bottom to top. | then you pull bottom to top. |
497 | 00:16:55,490 | 00:16:56,784 | - Get it right! - Okay. | - Get it right! - Okay. |
498 | 00:16:56,809 | 00:16:58,081 | Keep going. Keep going. | Keep going. Keep going. |
499 | 00:16:58,106 | 00:17:00,870 | I feel like I've missed out on having a real relationship | I feel like I've missed out on having a real relationship |
500 | 00:17:00,895 | 00:17:02,005 | with you, Mom. | with you, Mom. |
501 | 00:17:02,030 | 00:17:03,807 | Stuff it down, man! | Stuff it down, man! |
502 | 00:17:03,920 | 00:17:06,072 | Push it down, Ka'ponko! | Push it down, Ka'ponko! |
503 | 00:17:06,097 | 00:17:07,833 | Me never chat with you about this! | Me never chat with you about this! |
504 | 00:17:07,858 | 00:17:09,880 | That's a terrible Hawaiian accent. | That's a terrible Hawaiian accent. |
505 | 00:17:09,904 | 00:17:11,709 | You sound Jamaican, you racist. | You sound Jamaican, you racist. |
506 | 00:17:11,734 | 00:17:13,773 | Wait, whoa! I'm not racist! | Wait, whoa! I'm not racist! |
507 | 00:17:13,798 | 00:17:15,885 | - Says you! - I am not racist. | - Says you! - I am not racist. |
508 | 00:17:15,910 | 00:17:17,621 | Guys, stand closer. Where you going? | Guys, stand closer. Where you going? |
509 | 00:17:17,645 | 00:17:19,089 | Keep going. Keep going. | Keep going. Keep going. |
510 | 00:17:19,113 | 00:17:20,133 | I'm not racist. | I'm not racist. |
511 | 00:17:20,158 | 00:17:21,825 | Why can't we talk about this? | Why can't we talk about this? |
512 | 00:17:21,850 | 00:17:23,173 | We're family. | We're family. |
513 | 00:17:23,198 | 00:17:26,301 | No time to talk. Have to wax a sensitive area. | No time to talk. Have to wax a sensitive area. |
514 | 00:17:26,326 | 00:17:28,640 | [IRISH ACCENT] That's right. And I've got to wax | [IRISH ACCENT] That's right. And I've got to wax |
515 | 00:17:28,665 | 00:17:31,102 | a little soul patch into me customer. | a little soul patch into me customer. |
516 | 00:17:31,127 | 00:17:32,396 | Enough, okay? | Enough, okay? |
517 | 00:17:32,421 | 00:17:33,988 | I did not close down shop | I did not close down shop |
518 | 00:17:34,013 | 00:17:35,304 | during lunch rush | during lunch rush |
519 | 00:17:35,329 | 00:17:37,129 | to watch amateur improv. | to watch amateur improv. |
520 | 00:17:37,154 | 00:17:38,787 | Let's go, Kailani. | Let's go, Kailani. |
521 | 00:17:39,968 | 00:17:42,203 | Wait. M... | Wait. M... |
522 | 00:17:43,755 | 00:17:45,066 | You okay, buddy? | You okay, buddy? |
523 | 00:17:45,091 | 00:17:48,537 | Actually, I feel fantastic. | Actually, I feel fantastic. |
524 | 00:17:48,562 | 00:17:51,263 | Like it or not, they heard what I had to say. | Like it or not, they heard what I had to say. |
525 | 00:17:51,779 | 00:17:54,101 | - Awesome. - Okay. | - Awesome. - Okay. |
526 | 00:17:54,126 | 00:17:55,525 | Chief and Lucy, your turn. | Chief and Lucy, your turn. |
527 | 00:17:55,550 | 00:17:57,728 | - Sweet! - Uh, no thanks. | - Sweet! - Uh, no thanks. |
528 | 00:17:57,752 | 00:17:59,156 | It really hurts me that you can't stand | It really hurts me that you can't stand |
529 | 00:17:59,180 | 00:18:00,793 | - the sound of my voice. - What are you talking about? | - the sound of my voice. - What are you talking about? |
530 | 00:18:00,817 | 00:18:02,933 | I love your voice; you sound like the guy who used to host | I love your voice; you sound like the guy who used to host |
531 | 00:18:02,957 | 00:18:04,535 | Soul Train... Granny, what was that guy's name? | Soul Train... Granny, what was that guy's name? |
532 | 00:18:04,559 | 00:18:06,804 | Why would I know the name of the guy who hosted Soul Train? | Why would I know the name of the guy who hosted Soul Train? |
533 | 00:18:06,828 | 00:18:08,539 | Oh! [CHUCKLES] Right. | Oh! [CHUCKLES] Right. |
534 | 00:18:08,563 | 00:18:10,738 | Oh, it's 'cause I dream about trains? | Oh, it's 'cause I dream about trains? |
535 | 00:18:10,763 | 00:18:12,971 | That's it. You're the train guy. | That's it. You're the train guy. |
536 | 00:18:12,996 | 00:18:14,193 | Let's switch it up. | Let's switch it up. |
537 | 00:18:14,218 | 00:18:16,498 | Lucy, you be Chief. Chief, you be Lucy. | Lucy, you be Chief. Chief, you be Lucy. |
538 | 00:18:16,523 | 00:18:18,215 | Lucy, start it off. | Lucy, start it off. |
539 | 00:18:18,804 | 00:18:20,962 | Okay, um... | Okay, um... |
540 | 00:18:21,658 | 00:18:24,229 | Don't interrupt! I know everything! | Don't interrupt! I know everything! |
541 | 00:18:24,254 | 00:18:25,822 | I'm the chief, and I'm your dad! | I'm the chief, and I'm your dad! |
542 | 00:18:25,847 | 00:18:26,994 | And the answer is no! | And the answer is no! |
543 | 00:18:27,019 | 00:18:28,597 | No, no, no, no, no! | No, no, no, no, no! |
544 | 00:18:28,622 | 00:18:30,180 | Oh, that's your imitation of me? | Oh, that's your imitation of me? |
545 | 00:18:30,205 | 00:18:31,448 | - That's it, huh? - Mm-hmm. | - That's it, huh? - Mm-hmm. |
546 | 00:18:31,473 | 00:18:32,777 | I can play this game too. | I can play this game too. |
547 | 00:18:32,802 | 00:18:34,438 | I can do this. All right. | I can do this. All right. |
548 | 00:18:34,463 | 00:18:36,106 | Hey, my name's Lucy, | Hey, my name's Lucy, |
549 | 00:18:36,131 | 00:18:37,597 | and I'm the reckless probie | and I'm the reckless probie |
550 | 00:18:37,622 | 00:18:40,036 | who doesn't care how our actions affect other people! | who doesn't care how our actions affect other people! |
551 | 00:18:40,061 | 00:18:43,329 | Maybe I should find a safer job like accounting! | Maybe I should find a safer job like accounting! |
552 | 00:18:44,909 | 00:18:47,453 | - That was awesome. - Yeah, good impression, Chief. | - That was awesome. - Yeah, good impression, Chief. |
553 | 00:18:47,478 | 00:18:48,979 | - [BUZZER BLARES] - DISPATCHER: Station 24. | - [BUZZER BLARES] - DISPATCHER: Station 24. |
554 | 00:18:49,003 | 00:18:51,808 | Man on a ledge. 1113 Harrison Avenue. | Man on a ledge. 1113 Harrison Avenue. |
555 | 00:18:51,833 | 00:18:53,583 | All right, this is bullshit. | All right, this is bullshit. |
556 | 00:18:53,608 | 00:18:54,919 | Do you even know what you're doing? | Do you even know what you're doing? |
557 | 00:18:54,943 | 00:18:57,077 | - Yes, I do. - Then what does Andy's mom | - Yes, I do. - Then what does Andy's mom |
558 | 00:18:57,102 | 00:18:58,855 | and sister have to do with Lucy's accident? | and sister have to do with Lucy's accident? |
559 | 00:18:58,880 | 00:19:00,936 | Lucy's accident is what made Andy's | Lucy's accident is what made Andy's |
560 | 00:19:00,961 | 00:19:02,926 | mom and grandma tell him the truth. | mom and grandma tell him the truth. |
561 | 00:19:02,951 | 00:19:04,619 | All right, you know what? We're done with this. | All right, you know what? We're done with this. |
562 | 00:19:04,643 | 00:19:05,960 | No, we're done when I say we're done. | No, we're done when I say we're done. |
563 | 00:19:05,984 | 00:19:07,162 | No, we're done now! | No, we're done now! |
564 | 00:19:07,187 | 00:19:09,017 | No, we're done when I say we're done. | No, we're done when I say we're done. |
565 | 00:19:09,423 | 00:19:11,135 | - Where are you going? - I'm going on a call. | - Where are you going? - I'm going on a call. |
566 | 00:19:11,159 | 00:19:12,331 | - Well, so am I! - Oh, you're coming? | - Well, so am I! - Oh, you're coming? |
567 | 00:19:12,355 | 00:19:14,728 | - Yeah, I'm coming! - About time! | - Yeah, I'm coming! - About time! |
568 | 00:19:16,955 | 00:19:19,495 | Just leave me alone, please! | Just leave me alone, please! |
569 | 00:19:19,520 | 00:19:22,412 | Can you please let a man die in peace? | Can you please let a man die in peace? |
570 | 00:19:22,832 | 00:19:24,915 | Leave me alone! I'm gonna jump! | Leave me alone! I'm gonna jump! |
571 | 00:19:24,940 | 00:19:26,883 | I'm gonna do it! I swear! | I'm gonna do it! I swear! |
572 | 00:19:26,908 | 00:19:30,421 | Go away! Leave me alone, okay? | Go away! Leave me alone, okay? |
573 | 00:19:30,445 | 00:19:32,689 | Car one on the scene. Car one in command. | Car one on the scene. Car one in command. |
574 | 00:19:32,713 | 00:19:36,226 | Go away! Leave me alone, okay? | Go away! Leave me alone, okay? |
575 | 00:19:36,251 | 00:19:37,847 | Get out of here! Please! | Get out of here! Please! |
576 | 00:19:37,872 | 00:19:39,380 | Go away! | Go away! |
577 | 00:19:40,293 | 00:19:43,294 | Hey, folks, I need you to step back! | Hey, folks, I need you to step back! |
578 | 00:19:43,524 | 00:19:46,347 | - [SIGHS] - Leave me alone! | - [SIGHS] - Leave me alone! |
579 | 00:19:46,928 | 00:19:48,999 | - [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] - Who's going up there? | - [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] - Who's going up there? |
580 | 00:19:49,024 | 00:19:50,908 | I am, obviously. I'm the most qualified. | I am, obviously. I'm the most qualified. |
581 | 00:19:50,932 | 00:19:51,974 | Hold on a second. | Hold on a second. |
582 | 00:19:51,999 | 00:19:53,388 | I've talked to a few jumpers in my day. | I've talked to a few jumpers in my day. |
583 | 00:19:53,412 | 00:19:55,511 | - Okay, so you go. - You want me to? | - Okay, so you go. - You want me to? |
584 | 00:19:55,536 | 00:19:57,203 | Yeah, if you're so good at it, you go. | Yeah, if you're so good at it, you go. |
585 | 00:19:57,228 | 00:19:58,605 | Fine. I will go. | Fine. I will go. |
586 | 00:19:58,630 | 00:20:00,650 | Okay, stop chattering and start laddering. | Okay, stop chattering and start laddering. |
587 | 00:20:00,675 | 00:20:02,104 | - I'm in charge here! - Good. | - I'm in charge here! - Good. |
588 | 00:20:02,129 | 00:20:03,716 | - Stop looking at me! - Be safe, Chief. | - Stop looking at me! - Be safe, Chief. |
589 | 00:20:03,741 | 00:20:05,521 | Stop telling me what to do. | Stop telling me what to do. |
590 | 00:20:05,546 | 00:20:08,259 | [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] | [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] |
591 | 00:20:08,283 | 00:20:10,080 | Get off of that thing, man! | Get off of that thing, man! |
592 | 00:20:12,778 | 00:20:14,030 | Stay away, man! | Stay away, man! |
593 | 00:20:14,055 | 00:20:15,935 | I'm not kidding! Back off, man! | I'm not kidding! Back off, man! |
594 | 00:20:16,625 | 00:20:19,305 | Stay away, man! I'm gonna jump! | Stay away, man! I'm gonna jump! |
595 | 00:20:19,330 | 00:20:21,823 | - I just wanna talk. - Okay, well, I don't! | - I just wanna talk. - Okay, well, I don't! |
596 | 00:20:22,098 | 00:20:23,940 | - I wanna be alone. - I get it. | - I wanna be alone. - I get it. |
597 | 00:20:23,965 | 00:20:25,542 | I'm the strong, silent type too. | I'm the strong, silent type too. |
598 | 00:20:25,566 | 00:20:27,278 | Oh, yeah? Like Ryan Gosling? | Oh, yeah? Like Ryan Gosling? |
599 | 00:20:27,302 | 00:20:28,924 | - I don't know who that is. - What? | - I don't know who that is. - What? |
600 | 00:20:28,949 | 00:20:30,547 | It's America's handsome boy, man! | It's America's handsome boy, man! |
601 | 00:20:30,571 | 00:20:32,683 | - Come on. "La La Land"? - Never heard of it. | - Come on. "La La Land"? - Never heard of it. |
602 | 00:20:32,707 | 00:20:34,200 | You never heard of "La La Land"? | You never heard of "La La Land"? |
603 | 00:20:34,225 | 00:20:36,137 | - What about "The Notebook"? - You're losing me now. | - What about "The Notebook"? - You're losing me now. |
604 | 00:20:36,161 | 00:20:37,942 | It's a masterpiece, sir! | It's a masterpiece, sir! |
605 | 00:20:37,967 | 00:20:39,809 | - I'm more of a Stallone guy. - Who? | - I'm more of a Stallone guy. - Who? |
606 | 00:20:39,834 | 00:20:41,558 | How do you not know who Stallone is? | How do you not know who Stallone is? |
607 | 00:20:41,582 | 00:20:43,558 | How do you not know who Ryan Gosling is? | How do you not know who Ryan Gosling is? |
608 | 00:20:43,583 | 00:20:44,895 | I feel like we're not connecting here. | I feel like we're not connecting here. |
609 | 00:20:44,919 | 00:20:47,056 | No, we're not, okay? Just go away, please! | No, we're not, okay? Just go away, please! |
610 | 00:20:47,081 | 00:20:48,564 | You're pissing me off, man! | You're pissing me off, man! |
611 | 00:20:48,589 | 00:20:49,834 | Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! | Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! |
612 | 00:20:49,976 | 00:20:51,019 | You married? | You married? |
613 | 00:20:51,044 | 00:20:53,369 | My wife ran off with my business partner | My wife ran off with my business partner |
614 | 00:20:53,394 | 00:20:54,794 | after embezzling a million dollars | after embezzling a million dollars |
615 | 00:20:54,819 | 00:20:56,840 | from my frozen yogurt franchise. | from my frozen yogurt franchise. |
616 | 00:20:56,865 | 00:20:58,219 | Hence the roof! | Hence the roof! |
617 | 00:20:58,244 | 00:20:59,609 | Okay. | Okay. |
618 | 00:20:59,634 | 00:21:02,178 | I like frozen yogurt more than I thought I would. | I like frozen yogurt more than I thought I would. |
619 | 00:21:02,203 | 00:21:03,470 | Cool! | Cool! |
620 | 00:21:03,495 | 00:21:05,450 | [SIGHS] You got kids? | [SIGHS] You got kids? |
621 | 00:21:05,474 | 00:21:07,740 | - I got three boys. - Hey, I got three girls. | - I got three boys. - Hey, I got three girls. |
622 | 00:21:07,765 | 00:21:09,245 | You know, they say boys are made | You know, they say boys are made |
623 | 00:21:09,270 | 00:21:11,899 | when the wife has an orgasm during conception, so... | when the wife has an orgasm during conception, so... |
624 | 00:21:11,924 | 00:21:13,390 | People have told me that. It's not true. | People have told me that. It's not true. |
625 | 00:21:13,414 | 00:21:14,658 | - It's true. - It's not true. | - It's true. - It's not true. |
626 | 00:21:14,683 | 00:21:15,861 | - Google it! - There's no evidence. | - Google it! - There's no evidence. |
627 | 00:21:15,885 | 00:21:17,527 | You could Bing it too. Same results. | You could Bing it too. Same results. |
628 | 00:21:17,552 | 00:21:18,796 | There's no proof of that fact. | There's no proof of that fact. |
629 | 00:21:18,820 | 00:21:20,274 | I proved it three times. | I proved it three times. |
630 | 00:21:20,299 | 00:21:22,148 | All right, regardless, okay, we both got kids. | All right, regardless, okay, we both got kids. |
631 | 00:21:22,173 | 00:21:24,285 | Matter of fact, that's my oldest right down there. | Matter of fact, that's my oldest right down there. |
632 | 00:21:24,310 | 00:21:25,802 | The firefighter on the end. | The firefighter on the end. |
633 | 00:21:25,827 | 00:21:27,425 | You ever worried she'll get hurt on the job? | You ever worried she'll get hurt on the job? |
634 | 00:21:27,449 | 00:21:28,671 | Every day. | Every day. |
635 | 00:21:28,696 | 00:21:30,855 | Matter of fact, she just got hit in the throat. | Matter of fact, she just got hit in the throat. |
636 | 00:21:30,880 | 00:21:33,326 | Now she sounds like an old timey jazz singer. | Now she sounds like an old timey jazz singer. |
637 | 00:21:33,351 | 00:21:35,842 | Hey, I need you guys back behind the car! | Hey, I need you guys back behind the car! |
638 | 00:21:35,867 | 00:21:37,627 | Wow. Like Morgan Freeman. | Wow. Like Morgan Freeman. |
639 | 00:21:37,652 | 00:21:39,616 | Just every time I hear it, it reminds me that | Just every time I hear it, it reminds me that |
640 | 00:21:39,640 | 00:21:40,751 | if she hadn't followed in my footsteps, | if she hadn't followed in my footsteps, |
641 | 00:21:40,775 | 00:21:42,007 | she wouldn't be in harm's way. | she wouldn't be in harm's way. |
642 | 00:21:42,032 | 00:21:43,944 | Hey, we can't protect our kids forever, man. | Hey, we can't protect our kids forever, man. |
643 | 00:21:43,969 | 00:21:46,557 | I just don't wanna feel afraid and guilty | I just don't wanna feel afraid and guilty |
644 | 00:21:46,581 | 00:21:48,632 | for as long as she's a firefighter. | for as long as she's a firefighter. |
645 | 00:21:48,657 | 00:21:50,352 | We all feel that way about our kids. | We all feel that way about our kids. |
646 | 00:21:50,377 | 00:21:51,710 | It's normal. | It's normal. |
647 | 00:21:51,735 | 00:21:54,430 | You should talk to somebody about it before you end up, | You should talk to somebody about it before you end up, |
648 | 00:21:54,455 | 00:21:56,798 | you know, taking a dive off of a Bordstrom. | you know, taking a dive off of a Bordstrom. |
649 | 00:21:56,823 | 00:21:59,666 | - You sound like Eddie. - Eddie sounds woke AF. | - You sound like Eddie. - Eddie sounds woke AF. |
650 | 00:21:59,691 | 00:22:00,874 | I'm not gonna tell him that. | I'm not gonna tell him that. |
651 | 00:22:00,899 | 00:22:02,412 | Gosh, your depression is making me feel better | Gosh, your depression is making me feel better |
652 | 00:22:02,436 | 00:22:04,561 | about my problems. [CHUCKLES] | about my problems. [CHUCKLES] |
653 | 00:22:04,824 | 00:22:06,889 | Who would've thought that? [LAUGHS] | Who would've thought that? [LAUGHS] |
654 | 00:22:06,914 | 00:22:08,312 | I was just about to jump off a building. | I was just about to jump off a building. |
655 | 00:22:08,336 | 00:22:10,290 | Now I'm laughing. [LAUGHING] | Now I'm laughing. [LAUGHING] |
656 | 00:22:10,678 | 00:22:12,516 | Thank you, man. Hey, can I get a hug? | Thank you, man. Hey, can I get a hug? |
657 | 00:22:12,541 | 00:22:14,785 | - I don't think that's a good idea. - Come on, man. Please? | - I don't think that's a good idea. - Come on, man. Please? |
658 | 00:22:14,809 | 00:22:16,482 | - Let me just get you down safely. - I feel like we connected there. | - Let me just get you down safely. - I feel like we connected there. |
659 | 00:22:16,506 | 00:22:18,553 | - Come on! Bring it in! - Just hold on. Let's not... | - Come on! Bring it in! - Just hold on. Let's not... |
660 | 00:22:18,578 | 00:22:20,338 | - Get in here. I need it, man. - No, don't... | - Get in here. I need it, man. - No, don't... |
661 | 00:22:20,889 | 00:22:24,260 | - Hey, hey! - [YELLS] | - Hey, hey! - [YELLS] |
662 | 00:22:24,285 | 00:22:26,966 | [OVERLAPPING SHOUTS] | [OVERLAPPING SHOUTS] |
663 | 00:22:28,089 | 00:22:29,322 | ALL: Oh! | ALL: Oh! |
664 | 00:22:29,824 | 00:22:32,813 | Whoo! Whee! | Whoo! Whee! |
665 | 00:22:33,111 | 00:22:34,672 | That was amazing! | That was amazing! |
666 | 00:22:34,697 | 00:22:37,604 | Hey, your team really knows how to talk a guy down. | Hey, your team really knows how to talk a guy down. |
667 | 00:22:37,629 | 00:22:40,313 | Free yogurt for everybody! | Free yogurt for everybody! |
668 | 00:22:40,338 | 00:22:42,569 | [SIGHS] Oh, oh! | [SIGHS] Oh, oh! |
669 | 00:22:42,594 | 00:22:43,620 | I'm sorry. | I'm sorry. |
670 | 00:22:43,645 | 00:22:45,494 | I love you. I was wrong. | I love you. I was wrong. |
671 | 00:22:45,519 | 00:22:48,684 | - And I love your voice. - Thanks, Dad. | - And I love your voice. - Thanks, Dad. |
672 | 00:22:48,709 | 00:22:51,331 | Chief, you forgot to secure your safety belt. | Chief, you forgot to secure your safety belt. |
673 | 00:22:51,356 | 00:22:53,138 | Yeah, well, too bad. We're having a moment here. | Yeah, well, too bad. We're having a moment here. |
674 | 00:22:53,162 | 00:22:54,825 | But we're gonna have a safety belt refresher course. | But we're gonna have a safety belt refresher course. |
675 | 00:22:54,849 | 00:22:56,120 | - We'll talk about it later. - Okay. | - We'll talk about it later. - Okay. |
676 | 00:22:56,144 | 00:22:57,145 | - My daughter. - By the way, | - My daughter. - By the way, |
677 | 00:22:57,169 | 00:22:58,750 | you got 10s across the board for your dive. | you got 10s across the board for your dive. |
678 | 00:22:58,774 | 00:23:00,152 | Thank you! | Thank you! |
679 | 00:23:00,455 | 00:23:02,499 | Ka'ponko! Oh, my goodness! | Ka'ponko! Oh, my goodness! |
680 | 00:23:02,523 | 00:23:04,301 | Thank God you're okay! | Thank God you're okay! |
681 | 00:23:04,325 | 00:23:06,916 | Hey, hey! Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay! | Hey, hey! Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay! |
682 | 00:23:06,941 | 00:23:08,386 | Hey! I'm okay! | Hey! I'm okay! |
683 | 00:23:08,411 | 00:23:09,655 | The Nextdoor app said there was a guy | The Nextdoor app said there was a guy |
684 | 00:23:09,679 | 00:23:11,119 | who was gonna jump off a building. | who was gonna jump off a building. |
685 | 00:23:11,144 | 00:23:13,843 | We figured it was you because you're such an emotional mess! | We figured it was you because you're such an emotional mess! |
686 | 00:23:13,868 | 00:23:15,402 | I have every right to be a mess. | I have every right to be a mess. |
687 | 00:23:15,427 | 00:23:17,290 | - I know. - You do? | - I know. - You do? |
688 | 00:23:17,315 | 00:23:20,116 | Yeah, I was talking to my 2:00 about it, | Yeah, I was talking to my 2:00 about it, |
689 | 00:23:20,141 | 00:23:22,186 | and she told me I was being a crazy person. | and she told me I was being a crazy person. |
690 | 00:23:22,210 | 00:23:24,411 | She was right. I was wrong, all right? | She was right. I was wrong, all right? |
691 | 00:23:24,436 | 00:23:26,614 | We can work through this together! | We can work through this together! |
692 | 00:23:26,639 | 00:23:27,994 | Aww! | Aww! |
693 | 00:23:29,649 | 00:23:32,016 | Oh, hi, Andy's mom. Hi, Andy's grandma. | Oh, hi, Andy's mom. Hi, Andy's grandma. |
694 | 00:23:33,136 | 00:23:34,598 | Is Ike still single? | Is Ike still single? |
695 | 00:23:34,623 | 00:23:36,333 | - I think so. - Sweet. | - I think so. - Sweet. |
696 | 00:23:36,357 | 00:23:38,925 | - I could hit that. - Eww. | - I could hit that. - Eww. |
697 | 00:23:40,649 | 00:23:44,718 | [SOFT R&B MUSIC] | [SOFT R&B MUSIC] |
698 | 00:23:45,273 | 00:23:47,745 | ♪ I wanna tell you, baby ♪ | ♪ I wanna tell you, baby ♪ |
699 | 00:23:48,169 | 00:23:50,368 | ♪ What you meant to me ♪ | ♪ What you meant to me ♪ |
700 | 00:23:51,310 | 00:23:53,950 | ♪ All those good times we shared ♪ | ♪ All those good times we shared ♪ |
701 | 00:23:57,424 | 00:24:00,717 | ♪ All the love that we have for each other ♪ | ♪ All the love that we have for each other ♪ |
702 | 00:24:02,202 | 00:24:03,826 | Okay. Come on, Luce. | Okay. Come on, Luce. |
703 | 00:24:03,851 | 00:24:05,330 | Rubber match! Let's go! | Rubber match! Let's go! |
704 | 00:24:05,355 | 00:24:06,864 | [SIGHS, REGULAR VOICE] Man. | [SIGHS, REGULAR VOICE] Man. |
705 | 00:24:06,889 | 00:24:08,659 | I really miss my old voice. | I really miss my old voice. |
706 | 00:24:08,684 | 00:24:10,794 | I was the talk of the karaoke circuit. | I was the talk of the karaoke circuit. |
707 | 00:24:10,819 | 00:24:13,832 | [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] | [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] |
708 | 00:24:13,857 | 00:24:17,107 | [YELLS] | [YELLS] |
709 | 00:24:17,132 | 00:24:19,027 | [VOICE DEEPENS] | [VOICE DEEPENS] |
710 | 00:24:19,052 | 00:24:20,296 | You okay? | You okay? |
711 | 00:24:20,321 | 00:24:21,816 | [DEEP VOICE] Chief. | [DEEP VOICE] Chief. |
712 | 00:24:21,841 | 00:24:24,032 | You are my father! | You are my father! |
713 | 00:24:24,057 | 00:24:25,768 | [LAUGHTER] | [LAUGHTER] |
714 | 00:24:25,793 | 00:24:27,193 | That's awesome. | That's awesome. |
715 | 00:24:28,968 | 00:24:30,857 | It's funny 'cause it's true. | It's funny 'cause it's true. |