# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:00,534 00:00:03,104 [theme music] [theme music]
2 00:00:20,388 00:00:22,490 "The South Seas are calling you "The South Seas are calling you
3 00:00:22,556 00:00:25,659 to spend a glorious sun-filled vacation." to spend a glorious sun-filled vacation."
4 00:00:25,726 00:00:30,731 Neath the swaying palms, kissed by the gentle trade winds Neath the swaying palms, kissed by the gentle trade winds
5 00:00:30,798 00:00:32,433 nuzzled even. nuzzled even.
6 00:00:33,867 00:00:37,238 Oh, ignoble fate, which doth shrink my purse Oh, ignoble fate, which doth shrink my purse
7 00:00:37,305 00:00:39,407 and swallowed my desires. and swallowed my desires.
8 00:00:39,473 00:00:43,043 In other words, I got a champagne taste In other words, I got a champagne taste
9 00:00:43,111 00:00:45,246 with a soda pop bank account. with a soda pop bank account.
10 00:00:47,548 00:00:49,817 jingle jingle jingle jingle
11 00:00:49,883 00:00:51,385 Heavens to poorhouse! Heavens to poorhouse!
12 00:00:51,452 00:00:55,223 I haven't got enough to get me to an irrigation ditch I haven't got enough to get me to an irrigation ditch
13 00:00:55,289 00:00:57,891 much less, to the South Seas. much less, to the South Seas.
14 00:00:57,958 00:01:00,761 (man on radio) 'Friend, are you feeling a little pinched?' (man on radio) 'Friend, are you feeling a little pinched?'
15 00:01:00,828 00:01:03,297 'Would a little money ease the pain?' 'Would a little money ease the pain?'
16 00:01:03,364 00:01:06,334 'That extra cash for those little extra things' 'That extra cash for those little extra things'
17 00:01:06,400 00:01:08,436 'you've always wanted, hmm?' 'you've always wanted, hmm?'
18 00:01:08,502 00:01:09,937 Yes, yes. Yes, yes.
19 00:01:10,003 00:01:12,306 'Or a vacation, a new car?' 'Or a vacation, a new car?'
20 00:01:12,373 00:01:14,175 'Five hundred pounds of putty.' 'Five hundred pounds of putty.'
21 00:01:14,242 00:01:16,444 How's about a South Seas cruise? How's about a South Seas cruise?
22 00:01:16,510 00:01:19,113 'Yes, even a South Seas cruise.' 'Yes, even a South Seas cruise.'
23 00:01:19,180 00:01:22,049 How do I get the money? How do I get the ditto? How do I get the money? How do I get the ditto?
24 00:01:22,116 00:01:23,551 'By simply letting us' 'By simply letting us'
25 00:01:23,617 00:01:26,320 'build another room on your home.' 'build another room on your home.'
26 00:01:26,387 00:01:29,157 'Then all you have to do is sit back' 'Then all you have to do is sit back'
27 00:01:29,223 00:01:30,658 'and collect the rent.' 'and collect the rent.'
28 00:01:30,724 00:01:31,892 I get it. I get it.
29 00:01:31,959 00:01:34,195 Then I stand up and use the money Then I stand up and use the money
30 00:01:34,262 00:01:35,963 for a South Seas cruise. for a South Seas cruise.
31 00:01:36,029 00:01:40,201 'Not until you pay us $10,000 for building you the room.' 'Not until you pay us $10,000 for building you the room.'
32 00:01:40,268 00:01:43,504 Nothin' doin'. I'll build my own room. Nothin' doin'. I'll build my own room.
33 00:01:43,571 00:01:47,841 And thereby eliminate the middle man, little man. And thereby eliminate the middle man, little man.
34 00:01:49,177 00:01:51,545 thud thud thud thud
35 00:01:51,612 00:01:56,417 As cozy a little rental unit as you'll find anywheres. As cozy a little rental unit as you'll find anywheres.
36 00:01:58,452 00:02:02,323 Let the money roll in, so that I may soon be kissed Let the money roll in, so that I may soon be kissed
37 00:02:02,390 00:02:06,059 nuzzled even by the gentle trade winds. nuzzled even by the gentle trade winds.
38 00:02:06,126 00:02:08,462 - Hello. - Huh? - Hello. - Huh?
39 00:02:08,529 00:02:11,098 I see you got a little ol' vacancy. I see you got a little ol' vacancy.
40 00:02:11,165 00:02:14,001 Heavens to Hilton. It's a tenant. Heavens to Hilton. It's a tenant.
41 00:02:14,067 00:02:15,669 Welcome. Welcome.
42 00:02:17,104 00:02:19,139 My little ol' name is Lila My little ol' name is Lila
43 00:02:19,207 00:02:21,542 but I'm new to your fair suburb. but I'm new to your fair suburb.
44 00:02:21,609 00:02:24,945 She's a undoubtedly a school teacher She's a undoubtedly a school teacher
45 00:02:25,012 00:02:27,648 or some such intellectual careerist. or some such intellectual careerist.
46 00:02:27,715 00:02:30,384 I can tell by the cut of her giblets. I can tell by the cut of her giblets.
47 00:02:31,852 00:02:36,023 I'm sure you'll find the accommodations accommodatable. I'm sure you'll find the accommodations accommodatable.
48 00:02:36,089 00:02:40,361 Hmm, looks like early American distress period Hmm, looks like early American distress period
49 00:02:40,428 00:02:41,495 but I'll take it. but I'll take it.
50 00:02:41,562 00:02:43,664 Observe the spaciousness of yonder-- Observe the spaciousness of yonder--
51 00:02:43,731 00:02:47,568 (Lila) 'So this is your closet? Looks small to me.' (Lila) 'So this is your closet? Looks small to me.'
52 00:02:47,635 00:02:48,569 Closet? Closet?
53 00:02:48,636 00:02:51,305 Madam, for your information Madam, for your information
54 00:02:51,372 00:02:54,208 that is the crystal room. that is the crystal room.
55 00:02:54,275 00:02:56,344 I prefer this one. I prefer this one.
56 00:02:56,410 00:02:57,845 Heavens to rental unit. Heavens to rental unit.
57 00:02:57,911 00:03:01,882 I've been duplexed. Evacuated even. I've been duplexed. Evacuated even.
58 00:03:01,949 00:03:04,151 What a hobo! What a hobo!
59 00:03:04,218 00:03:06,153 'Just look at that leaky faucet.' 'Just look at that leaky faucet.'
60 00:03:06,220 00:03:07,521 Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
61 00:03:07,588 00:03:09,957 Uh, now, there's a little matter of finance Uh, now, there's a little matter of finance
62 00:03:10,023 00:03:11,292 I'd like to discuss. I'd like to discuss.
63 00:03:11,359 00:03:12,860 Oh, you would, eh? Oh, you would, eh?
64 00:03:12,926 00:03:14,828 Embarrassin' I know. Embarrassin' I know.
65 00:03:14,895 00:03:19,199 But I'm willing to risk it for $6 rent, a week. But I'm willing to risk it for $6 rent, a week.
66 00:03:19,267 00:03:22,570 Six dollars a week? For this junkyard? Six dollars a week? For this junkyard?
67 00:03:22,636 00:03:26,407 I'm not giving you one cent till you fix that leaky faucet. I'm not giving you one cent till you fix that leaky faucet.
68 00:03:26,474 00:03:28,742 That's final. That's final.
69 00:03:28,809 00:03:32,246 A few simple twists of the wrench should suffice. A few simple twists of the wrench should suffice.
70 00:03:32,313 00:03:33,981 [grunting] [grunting]
71 00:03:35,249 00:03:37,385 Try not to be so noisy. Try not to be so noisy.
72 00:03:37,451 00:03:39,687 Can't you see I'm trying to read? Can't you see I'm trying to read?
73 00:03:39,753 00:03:41,489 splash splash
74 00:03:42,856 00:03:47,461 Heavens to lawsuit! I better do somethin' and fast. Heavens to lawsuit! I better do somethin' and fast.
75 00:03:48,296 00:03:49,997 pop pop
76 00:03:50,063 00:03:51,932 There. The flood's over. There. The flood's over.
77 00:03:51,999 00:03:55,369 Oh, I'm gonna report you to the housing authority Oh, I'm gonna report you to the housing authority
78 00:03:55,436 00:03:57,705 and to my lawyer, and to the mayor. and to my lawyer, and to the mayor.
79 00:03:57,771 00:03:59,540 Whatever for? Whatever for?
80 00:03:59,607 00:04:03,444 I was merely demonstratin' our new horizontal shower. I was merely demonstratin' our new horizontal shower.
81 00:04:03,511 00:04:05,579 It's the latest rage. It's the latest rage.
82 00:04:05,646 00:04:09,182 If you're so up to date, how come this beat-up looking TV If you're so up to date, how come this beat-up looking TV
83 00:04:09,249 00:04:11,485 has no electric wire to plug in? has no electric wire to plug in?
84 00:04:11,552 00:04:13,721 It's a priceless antique model. It's a priceless antique model.
85 00:04:13,787 00:04:17,358 It runs on gas. Should I light it for you? It runs on gas. Should I light it for you?
86 00:04:17,425 00:04:20,328 Mayhap, we could get George Washington Mayhap, we could get George Washington
87 00:04:20,394 00:04:22,129 crossin' the Delaware. crossin' the Delaware.
88 00:04:22,195 00:04:26,734 Never mind, move that piano. I don't like it there. Never mind, move that piano. I don't like it there.
89 00:04:26,800 00:04:29,337 Then it shall be moved, forthwith. Then it shall be moved, forthwith.
90 00:04:30,871 00:04:32,806 'Fifthwith even.' 'Fifthwith even.'
91 00:04:32,873 00:04:37,244 - Where do you wish it? - Hmm. Let me see. - Where do you wish it? - Hmm. Let me see.
92 00:04:37,311 00:04:39,847 I think it would look nice over there. I think it would look nice over there.
93 00:04:39,913 00:04:42,350 No, no, it will look better over there. No, no, it will look better over there.
94 00:04:42,416 00:04:44,318 'No, over there.' 'No, over there.'
95 00:04:44,385 00:04:46,354 'No, there.' 'No, there.'
96 00:04:46,420 00:04:48,756 'No, no, not there, there.' 'No, no, not there, there.'
97 00:04:49,657 00:04:52,460 'No, that's not quite it.' 'No, that's not quite it.'
98 00:04:52,526 00:04:54,462 Heavens to slip discs! Heavens to slip discs!
99 00:04:54,528 00:04:57,264 Hercules wouldn't believe this. Hercules wouldn't believe this.
100 00:04:57,331 00:04:59,232 thud thud
101 00:04:59,299 00:05:01,669 Well, what are you doing down there? Well, what are you doing down there?
102 00:05:01,735 00:05:05,339 I'm looking for the last chord, what else? I'm looking for the last chord, what else?
103 00:05:05,406 00:05:07,908 What kind of a landlord are you anyway? What kind of a landlord are you anyway?
104 00:05:07,975 00:05:11,545 'I ask you for a little favor and you lie down on the job.' 'I ask you for a little favor and you lie down on the job.'
105 00:05:11,612 00:05:14,982 'As a paying tenant, I demand certain rights.' 'As a paying tenant, I demand certain rights.'
106 00:05:15,048 00:05:17,651 'And believe me, unless you fix things up 'And believe me, unless you fix things up
107 00:05:17,718 00:05:19,753 'around here, I'm going to--' 'around here, I'm going to--'
108 00:05:19,820 00:05:21,154 Oh, shut up! Oh, shut up!
109 00:05:21,221 00:05:22,556 What did you say? What did you say?
110 00:05:22,623 00:05:26,193 I said, and I quote, "Oh, shut up!" I said, and I quote, "Oh, shut up!"
111 00:05:26,259 00:05:28,396 [sobbing] [sobbing]
112 00:05:30,197 00:05:32,332 Just because a little ol' girl Just because a little ol' girl
113 00:05:32,400 00:05:34,935 likes to live in nice surroundings. likes to live in nice surroundings.
114 00:05:35,002 00:05:37,104 [sobbing] [sobbing]
115 00:05:37,170 00:05:39,039 Hey! Hold it. Hey! Hold it.
116 00:05:39,106 00:05:41,809 I'm sorry. I apologize. I'm sorry. I apologize.
117 00:05:41,875 00:05:46,179 What can I do to make it more nicely surrounded for ya? What can I do to make it more nicely surrounded for ya?
118 00:05:46,246 00:05:49,517 Well, to begin with, I'd like the place painted. Well, to begin with, I'd like the place painted.
119 00:05:52,520 00:05:55,523 There! The abode is painted. There! The abode is painted.
120 00:05:55,589 00:05:57,991 Some new drapes would be chic. Some new drapes would be chic.
121 00:05:59,359 00:06:02,563 There! Chic drapes, akimbo. There! Chic drapes, akimbo.
122 00:06:02,630 00:06:06,400 Some comfy furniture would make it more comfy. Some comfy furniture would make it more comfy.
123 00:06:06,467 00:06:09,403 Comfy furniture it is. Comfy furniture it is.
124 00:06:09,470 00:06:12,139 Well, this is getting to be more like it. Well, this is getting to be more like it.
125 00:06:12,205 00:06:13,507 [sighs] [sighs]
126 00:06:13,574 00:06:16,176 'Except, of course, I want new landscaping' 'Except, of course, I want new landscaping'
127 00:06:16,243 00:06:18,378 'a patio and two swimming pools.' 'a patio and two swimming pools.'
128 00:06:18,446 00:06:21,782 Two swimming pools? Whatever for? Two swimming pools? Whatever for?
129 00:06:21,849 00:06:24,384 Well, I have to have one for rinsing, don't I? Well, I have to have one for rinsing, don't I?
130 00:06:24,452 00:06:25,819 Don't I? Don't I? Don't I? Don't I?
131 00:06:25,886 00:06:28,822 Heavens to broken records! It will never end. Heavens to broken records! It will never end.
132 00:06:28,889 00:06:31,324 Well, don't just stand there, get busy. Well, don't just stand there, get busy.
133 00:06:31,391 00:06:33,226 I'm just dying for a cool dip. I'm just dying for a cool dip.
134 00:06:33,293 00:06:35,629 One cool dip.. One cool dip..
135 00:06:35,696 00:06:37,097 '...comin' right up.' '...comin' right up.'
136 00:06:37,164 00:06:38,298 'Pronto even.' 'Pronto even.'
137 00:06:38,365 00:06:39,366 pop pop
138 00:06:39,433 00:06:42,135 Aah! Aah!
139 00:06:42,202 00:06:46,474 And on that high note, I take leave of the landlord biz. And on that high note, I take leave of the landlord biz.
140 00:06:46,540 00:06:49,409 Exit to the rental unit, stage left. Exit to the rental unit, stage left.
141 00:06:52,279 00:06:53,280 splash splash
142 00:06:53,346 00:06:55,916 South Sea Islands, here I come. South Sea Islands, here I come.
143 00:06:55,983 00:06:58,786 * Kiss me gentle trade winds * * Kiss me gentle trade winds *
144 00:06:58,852 00:07:02,723 * 'Neath the swaying columns ** * 'Neath the swaying columns **
145 00:07:05,292 00:07:07,427 [theme music] [theme music]