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1 00:00:00,534 00:00:01,735 [theme music] [theme music]
2 00:00:24,792 00:00:27,428 Cyril D. Snagglepuss Cyril D. Snagglepuss
3 00:00:27,495 00:00:30,764 having completed a course in romantic poetry having completed a course in romantic poetry
4 00:00:30,831 00:00:32,433 at this college of the king at this college of the king
5 00:00:32,500 00:00:35,336 'I present thee with this diploma.' 'I present thee with this diploma.'
6 00:00:35,403 00:00:39,073 Oh, happy day that I might help lovers Oh, happy day that I might help lovers
7 00:00:39,140 00:00:41,175 with my rhymin' folderol. with my rhymin' folderol.
8 00:00:41,242 00:00:45,279 Exit, rhymin' all the way, stage left. Exit, rhymin' all the way, stage left.
9 00:00:46,614 00:00:51,352 "Cyril D. Snagglepuss, P.F.F.L. "Cyril D. Snagglepuss, P.F.F.L.
10 00:00:51,419 00:00:54,188 Poet For Frightened Lovers." Poet For Frightened Lovers."
11 00:00:54,255 00:00:57,258 Mayhap ze Cyril D. Snagglepuss Mayhap ze Cyril D. Snagglepuss
12 00:00:57,325 00:01:01,929 will help me win ze lovely Lady Lavendish. will help me win ze lovely Lady Lavendish.
13 00:01:01,995 00:01:02,996 [knocks on door] [knocks on door]
14 00:01:03,063 00:01:04,832 Heavens to Murgatroyd! Heavens to Murgatroyd!
15 00:01:04,898 00:01:07,235 It's my first customer. It's my first customer.
16 00:01:08,402 00:01:11,071 I am ze Duke Dekiss. I am ze Duke Dekiss.
17 00:01:11,139 00:01:13,274 I come to seek your poetic aid. I come to seek your poetic aid.
18 00:01:13,341 00:01:16,544 And I am Cyril D. Snagglepuss. And I am Cyril D. Snagglepuss.
19 00:01:16,610 00:01:19,113 My poetic pen is at your service. My poetic pen is at your service.
20 00:01:19,180 00:01:25,386 You wish to woo a lady, I take it, but thou art chicken, hmm? You wish to woo a lady, I take it, but thou art chicken, hmm?
21 00:01:25,453 00:01:29,623 My knees do quake at ze mere mention of her name. My knees do quake at ze mere mention of her name.
22 00:01:29,690 00:01:33,060 'She is ze lovely Lady Lavendish.' 'She is ze lovely Lady Lavendish.'
23 00:01:33,127 00:01:36,130 Then I shall win and woo her for ya Then I shall win and woo her for ya
24 00:01:36,197 00:01:37,598 with my poetic pen. with my poetic pen.
25 00:01:37,665 00:01:41,435 For which I shall be forever grateful. For which I shall be forever grateful.
26 00:01:41,502 00:01:45,406 But poets cannot live in gratitude alone, you know. But poets cannot live in gratitude alone, you know.
27 00:01:45,473 00:01:49,943 Take zis mere bag of gold for your services. Take zis mere bag of gold for your services.
28 00:01:50,010 00:01:52,546 And there's nothin' mere about this! And there's nothin' mere about this!
29 00:01:52,613 00:01:56,049 Thanks awfully. Largely, even. Thanks awfully. Largely, even.
30 00:01:56,116 00:01:59,553 Remember woo her in such a manner Remember woo her in such a manner
31 00:01:59,620 00:02:02,790 that she will melt in my eager arms. that she will melt in my eager arms.
32 00:02:02,856 00:02:05,359 Oh, I wilt, I wilt! Oh, I wilt, I wilt!
33 00:02:05,426 00:02:06,994 What's her address? What's her address?
34 00:02:07,060 00:02:10,331 465 Heavenly Lane. 465 Heavenly Lane.
35 00:02:10,398 00:02:14,502 Sitteth yourself down with yon old magazines and wait Sitteth yourself down with yon old magazines and wait
36 00:02:14,568 00:02:19,607 whilst I exit wooin' all the way, stage left. whilst I exit wooin' all the way, stage left.
37 00:02:21,275 00:02:26,514 It 'tis! 465 Heavenly Lane. It 'tis! 465 Heavenly Lane.
38 00:02:26,580 00:02:30,017 Father, I wish to partake of a breath of air. Father, I wish to partake of a breath of air.
39 00:02:30,083 00:02:31,752 I'll be out on the balcony. I'll be out on the balcony.
40 00:02:31,819 00:02:36,490 Ah, I hear the Lady Lavendish's sweet voice. Ah, I hear the Lady Lavendish's sweet voice.
41 00:02:36,557 00:02:39,760 Clarissa, come in off this balcony! Clarissa, come in off this balcony!
42 00:02:39,827 00:02:42,496 You know it won't support your weight. You know it won't support your weight.
43 00:02:42,563 00:02:46,200 Oh, father, just because I happen to be pleasingly plump Oh, father, just because I happen to be pleasingly plump
44 00:02:46,267 00:02:48,702 you have to make a big megillah out of it. you have to make a big megillah out of it.
45 00:02:48,769 00:02:51,339 What light through yon window breaks? What light through yon window breaks?
46 00:02:51,405 00:02:56,043 It is the east and Lady Lavendish is some dish! It is the east and Lady Lavendish is some dish!
47 00:02:56,109 00:02:57,278 [rumbling] [rumbling]
48 00:02:57,345 00:02:58,446 Oh, dear! Oh, dear!
49 00:02:58,512 00:03:00,248 Heavens to earthquake! Heavens to earthquake!
50 00:03:00,314 00:03:02,283 It's the balcony breakin' It's the balcony breakin'
51 00:03:02,350 00:03:04,685 and Lady Lavendish weighs a ton! and Lady Lavendish weighs a ton!
52 00:03:07,087 00:03:09,823 There. That oughta hold an elephant. There. That oughta hold an elephant.
53 00:03:09,890 00:03:13,093 Elephant? Who dares calleth me an elephant? Elephant? Who dares calleth me an elephant?
54 00:03:13,160 00:03:16,497 * I come a-wooin' thee with heart so pure * * I come a-wooin' thee with heart so pure *
55 00:03:16,564 00:03:20,100 * I am lovesick and you're my only cure ** * I am lovesick and you're my only cure **
56 00:03:20,167 00:03:21,769 Who doth yelp and whine Who doth yelp and whine
57 00:03:21,835 00:03:24,872 as though in torment neath my balcony? as though in torment neath my balcony?
58 00:03:24,938 00:03:28,842 Not only does yon buxom belle lack shape Not only does yon buxom belle lack shape
59 00:03:28,909 00:03:31,645 but she also has no ear for music. but she also has no ear for music.
60 00:03:31,712 00:03:35,316 Do I hear the bleatings of a disenchanted donkey? Do I hear the bleatings of a disenchanted donkey?
61 00:03:35,383 00:03:37,585 Nee-ther, neither, my fair lady. Nee-ther, neither, my fair lady.
62 00:03:37,651 00:03:42,590 'Tis I, the Duck Dekiss come to woo ya with lover's rhyme. 'Tis I, the Duck Dekiss come to woo ya with lover's rhyme.
63 00:03:42,656 00:03:45,626 Who, me? Are you sure you have the right address? Who, me? Are you sure you have the right address?
64 00:03:45,693 00:03:48,128 I don't blame ya for bein' doubtful I don't blame ya for bein' doubtful
65 00:03:48,195 00:03:51,465 but this is 465 Heavenly Lane. but this is 465 Heavenly Lane.
66 00:03:51,532 00:03:54,101 It is, it is! Come on, already! It is, it is! Come on, already!
67 00:03:54,167 00:03:55,168 Make with the wooing! Make with the wooing!
68 00:03:55,235 00:03:58,439 Don't rush me. Don't rush me. Don't rush me. Don't rush me.
69 00:03:58,506 00:04:01,141 I gotta considerate the poetic tempo. I gotta considerate the poetic tempo.
70 00:04:01,208 00:04:03,176 (Clarissa) 'Oh, very well.' (Clarissa) 'Oh, very well.'
71 00:04:03,243 00:04:05,713 This poem is my blockbuster. This poem is my blockbuster.
72 00:04:05,779 00:04:08,148 After she hears it, she'll fairly melt After she hears it, she'll fairly melt
73 00:04:08,215 00:04:10,083 in the duke's arms. in the duke's arms.
74 00:04:10,150 00:04:12,152 "What brings me ridin' hence "What brings me ridin' hence
75 00:04:12,219 00:04:14,187 "my poor heart all a-flutter? "my poor heart all a-flutter?
76 00:04:14,254 00:04:16,056 "Is it to build a fence "Is it to build a fence
77 00:04:16,123 00:04:18,191 'or buy a pound of butter?"' 'or buy a pound of butter?"'
78 00:04:18,258 00:04:20,093 Oh! Oh!
79 00:04:20,160 00:04:24,465 "Nay, I come ridin' hence, I don't need a shove. "Nay, I come ridin' hence, I don't need a shove.
80 00:04:24,532 00:04:26,634 '"Tho' the fare was fifty cents' '"Tho' the fare was fifty cents'
81 00:04:26,700 00:04:28,902 'I come to woo my love!"' 'I come to woo my love!"'
82 00:04:28,969 00:04:31,372 Oh! Oh!
83 00:04:31,439 00:04:34,708 I finished my rhyme. Now wilt thou be mine? I finished my rhyme. Now wilt thou be mine?
84 00:04:34,775 00:04:37,411 Art thou kidding? I wilt, I wilt! Art thou kidding? I wilt, I wilt!
85 00:04:37,478 00:04:40,213 Then I shall go and return forthwith. Then I shall go and return forthwith.
86 00:04:40,280 00:04:43,183 I gotta break the news to the duke. I gotta break the news to the duke.
87 00:04:43,250 00:04:47,588 Ha! So the burgling varlet needs Clarissa's balcony. Ha! So the burgling varlet needs Clarissa's balcony.
88 00:04:47,655 00:04:51,425 Huh! Who else could be found in Clarissa's balcony? Huh! Who else could be found in Clarissa's balcony?
89 00:04:51,492 00:04:53,794 Halt, thy thieving knave! Halt, thy thieving knave!
90 00:04:53,861 00:04:59,066 Uh-oh! 'Tis the inevitable, ever-lovin' irate father! Uh-oh! 'Tis the inevitable, ever-lovin' irate father!
91 00:05:00,233 00:05:01,435 En garde! En garde!
92 00:05:01,502 00:05:04,338 Else I slice thee to ribbons! Else I slice thee to ribbons!
93 00:05:04,405 00:05:06,774 Have at it, irate father. Have at it, irate father.
94 00:05:06,840 00:05:09,910 Thinkest thou canst prevent love? Thinkest thou canst prevent love?
95 00:05:09,977 00:05:12,112 clang clang clang clang clang clang
96 00:05:12,179 00:05:14,715 Father, wait! He is no burglar! Father, wait! He is no burglar!
97 00:05:14,782 00:05:17,351 He doth come to win my fair hand. He doth come to win my fair hand.
98 00:05:17,418 00:05:19,987 Don't blow the chance of a lifetime! Don't blow the chance of a lifetime!
99 00:05:20,053 00:05:22,790 What? I don't believe it! What? I don't believe it!
100 00:05:22,856 00:05:26,627 (Snagglepuss) 'Never nonetheless, 'tis true, irate father.' (Snagglepuss) 'Never nonetheless, 'tis true, irate father.'
101 00:05:26,694 00:05:30,130 Who's irate anymore? Take her! Carry her off! Who's irate anymore? Take her! Carry her off!
102 00:05:30,197 00:05:35,035 Eh, on second thought, have her carry you. And lotsa luck. Eh, on second thought, have her carry you. And lotsa luck.
103 00:05:35,102 00:05:39,907 Exit, poetic mission accomplished, stage left. Exit, poetic mission accomplished, stage left.
104 00:05:39,973 00:05:41,274 screech screech
105 00:05:41,341 00:05:43,310 Drop your old magazines, duke. Drop your old magazines, duke.
106 00:05:43,377 00:05:45,879 She's ready, eager even! She's ready, eager even!
107 00:05:45,946 00:05:48,849 You mean ze lovely Lady Lavendish You mean ze lovely Lady Lavendish
108 00:05:48,916 00:05:52,953 is willing to fling herself into my waiting arms? is willing to fling herself into my waiting arms?
109 00:05:53,020 00:05:55,556 Verily, but the question is Verily, but the question is
110 00:05:55,623 00:05:58,125 are your waitin' arms strong enough are your waitin' arms strong enough
111 00:05:58,191 00:05:59,993 to catch your weighty ladyship? to catch your weighty ladyship?
112 00:06:00,060 00:06:04,064 Her frail little wisp of a figure will float Her frail little wisp of a figure will float
113 00:06:04,131 00:06:07,968 gently as a feather into my strong arms. gently as a feather into my strong arms.
114 00:06:08,035 00:06:10,971 'Okay, maybe you know something I don't know.' 'Okay, maybe you know something I don't know.'
115 00:06:11,038 00:06:15,543 I know, I must not tarry lest she change her mind. I know, I must not tarry lest she change her mind.
116 00:06:17,645 00:06:20,380 Come, my frail, sylphlike beauty Come, my frail, sylphlike beauty
117 00:06:20,448 00:06:24,017 and float into my eager arms. and float into my eager arms.
118 00:06:24,084 00:06:27,721 Oh, 'tis time to go. Goodbye, father. Oh, 'tis time to go. Goodbye, father.
119 00:06:27,788 00:06:30,691 My true love awaiteth below. My true love awaiteth below.
120 00:06:31,925 00:06:33,594 crash crash
121 00:06:33,661 00:06:36,063 - Shall we go, my love? - But of course. - Shall we go, my love? - But of course.
122 00:06:36,129 00:06:40,434 After we remove ze balcony from my aching back! After we remove ze balcony from my aching back!
123 00:06:40,501 00:06:41,802 Sacre-idiot! Sacre-idiot!
124 00:06:41,869 00:06:44,638 You are not ze lovely Lady Lavendish. You are not ze lovely Lady Lavendish.
125 00:06:44,705 00:06:46,039 Oh, that skinny thing? Oh, that skinny thing?
126 00:06:46,106 00:06:48,676 She moved last week. We're the new tenants. She moved last week. We're the new tenants.
127 00:06:48,742 00:06:51,712 Besides, what's Lady Lavendish got that I ain't got? Besides, what's Lady Lavendish got that I ain't got?
128 00:06:51,779 00:06:56,049 Me! Exit, broken back, heart and all, stage left! Me! Exit, broken back, heart and all, stage left!
129 00:06:57,485 00:06:59,319 You blundering buffoon! You blundering buffoon!
130 00:06:59,386 00:07:00,821 Take zat! And zat! Take zat! And zat!
131 00:07:00,888 00:07:03,657 Ouch! Yeowch! The duke is a grouch! Ouch! Yeowch! The duke is a grouch!
132 00:07:03,724 00:07:06,927 Ouch! Yeowch! Ouch, yeowch even! Ouch! Yeowch! Ouch, yeowch even!
133 00:07:09,463 00:07:11,599 [theme music] [theme music]