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# | Start | End | Original | Translated |
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1 | 00:00:01,653 | 00:00:03,525 | [theme music] | [theme music] |
2 | 00:00:24,894 | 00:00:27,201 | "Loophole Mesa. One mile. | "Loophole Mesa. One mile. |
3 | 00:00:27,288 | 00:00:30,769 | '"Warning, judges and other legal type hombres' | '"Warning, judges and other legal type hombres' |
4 | 00:00:30,856 | 00:00:34,730 | 'keep out! Singed Fowler Means."' | 'keep out! Singed Fowler Means."' |
5 | 00:00:34,817 | 00:00:37,341 | Hmm. It's probably some sorta joke. | Hmm. It's probably some sorta joke. |
6 | 00:00:37,428 | 00:00:39,996 | Be you the circuit judge a-comin' to preside | Be you the circuit judge a-comin' to preside |
7 | 00:00:40,083 | 00:00:43,304 | at the trial of Fowler Means, the bank bandit? Be ya? | at the trial of Fowler Means, the bank bandit? Be ya? |
8 | 00:00:43,391 | 00:00:45,001 | I am. Why? | I am. Why? |
9 | 00:00:45,088 | 00:00:47,351 | Ya mean ya was.Now git! | Ya mean ya was.Now git! |
10 | 00:00:47,438 | 00:00:49,266 | bang bang bang | bang bang bang |
11 | 00:00:49,353 | 00:00:53,140 | Well, I'll be hornswoggled. What did I say? | Well, I'll be hornswoggled. What did I say? |
12 | 00:00:53,227 | 00:00:55,403 | I better hide in here. | I better hide in here. |
13 | 00:00:55,490 | 00:00:57,318 | slam | slam |
14 | 00:00:57,405 | 00:00:59,233 | Whom slammeth my door | Whom slammeth my door |
15 | 00:00:59,320 | 00:01:01,670 | and disturbeth my slumber? | and disturbeth my slumber? |
16 | 00:01:01,757 | 00:01:04,934 | Mayhap an errant breeze, mayhap. | Mayhap an errant breeze, mayhap. |
17 | 00:01:05,021 | 00:01:07,806 | But hold, beneath my sleepin' pad | But hold, beneath my sleepin' pad |
18 | 00:01:07,893 | 00:01:11,723 | 'a pair of boots belonging to a sneakin' cad.' | 'a pair of boots belonging to a sneakin' cad.' |
19 | 00:01:11,810 | 00:01:14,857 | Come out! Emerge, even! | Come out! Emerge, even! |
20 | 00:01:14,944 | 00:01:18,208 | Don't shoot. I-I'm the circuit judge. | Don't shoot. I-I'm the circuit judge. |
21 | 00:01:18,295 | 00:01:20,341 | A short circuit judge. | A short circuit judge. |
22 | 00:01:20,428 | 00:01:22,386 | What are you doin' under a bed? | What are you doin' under a bed? |
23 | 00:01:22,473 | 00:01:24,475 | Shouldn't you be on a bench? | Shouldn't you be on a bench? |
24 | 00:01:24,562 | 00:01:28,523 | Yes, judging Fowler Means the bank bandit. | Yes, judging Fowler Means the bank bandit. |
25 | 00:01:28,610 | 00:01:29,872 | But I can't. | But I can't. |
26 | 00:01:29,959 | 00:01:31,874 | Why not, may I ask? | Why not, may I ask? |
27 | 00:01:31,961 | 00:01:36,226 | On account of, it can get mighty dangerous out there | On account of, it can get mighty dangerous out there |
28 | 00:01:36,313 | 00:01:38,315 | dispensing justice. | dispensing justice. |
29 | 00:01:38,402 | 00:01:43,799 | Ha! If I were judge no criminal the law would smudge. | Ha! If I were judge no criminal the law would smudge. |
30 | 00:01:43,886 | 00:01:47,672 | Why not? You could take my place and split the fee. | Why not? You could take my place and split the fee. |
31 | 00:01:47,759 | 00:01:50,719 | I would deem it an honor to be a your honor. | I would deem it an honor to be a your honor. |
32 | 00:01:50,806 | 00:01:52,634 | I hereby pronounce you | I hereby pronounce you |
33 | 00:01:52,721 | 00:01:54,897 | a deputy circuit judge. | a deputy circuit judge. |
34 | 00:01:54,984 | 00:01:56,203 | I do! | I do! |
35 | 00:01:58,074 | 00:02:01,295 | As your lawyer, Fowler, I can safely say | As your lawyer, Fowler, I can safely say |
36 | 00:02:01,382 | 00:02:03,732 | 'they can't hold ya without a judge.' | 'they can't hold ya without a judge.' |
37 | 00:02:03,819 | 00:02:05,560 | Well, get me out fast. | Well, get me out fast. |
38 | 00:02:05,647 | 00:02:08,519 | I'm way behind in my hold-up schedule. | I'm way behind in my hold-up schedule. |
39 | 00:02:08,606 | 00:02:11,305 | [Snagglepuss] 'Pardon me, if you so will.' | [Snagglepuss] 'Pardon me, if you so will.' |
40 | 00:02:11,392 | 00:02:14,351 | - Huh? - I'm the new circuit judge. | - Huh? - I'm the new circuit judge. |
41 | 00:02:14,438 | 00:02:16,179 | [in unison] The circuit judge? | [in unison] The circuit judge? |
42 | 00:02:16,266 | 00:02:17,876 | 'Indub-bidably.' | 'Indub-bidably.' |
43 | 00:02:17,963 | 00:02:20,792 | Have robe, will gavel. | Have robe, will gavel. |
44 | 00:02:20,879 | 00:02:22,098 | And whom are you? | And whom are you? |
45 | 00:02:22,185 | 00:02:23,795 | I am Onori. | I am Onori. |
46 | 00:02:23,882 | 00:02:26,494 | Onori Cuss the defense attorney. | Onori Cuss the defense attorney. |
47 | 00:02:26,581 | 00:02:27,930 | 'That figures.' | 'That figures.' |
48 | 00:02:28,017 | 00:02:30,976 | See you at the trial, gentlemen. | See you at the trial, gentlemen. |
49 | 00:02:31,063 | 00:02:32,978 | [Fowler] 'Some lawyer.' | [Fowler] 'Some lawyer.' |
50 | 00:02:37,418 | 00:02:40,508 | Will the prosecutin' attorney commence even? | Will the prosecutin' attorney commence even? |
51 | 00:02:40,595 | 00:02:42,510 | He had to leave town. | He had to leave town. |
52 | 00:02:42,597 | 00:02:44,903 | Yeah. He got sudden lead poisonin'. | Yeah. He got sudden lead poisonin'. |
53 | 00:02:44,990 | 00:02:46,644 | [laughing] | [laughing] |
54 | 00:02:46,731 | 00:02:49,169 | Then in the interest of justice | Then in the interest of justice |
55 | 00:02:49,256 | 00:02:51,171 | I shall take his place. | I shall take his place. |
56 | 00:02:52,998 | 00:02:55,479 | Gentlemen of the jury.. Huh? | Gentlemen of the jury.. Huh? |
57 | 00:02:55,566 | 00:02:58,613 | There's a striking resemblance to the prisoner. | There's a striking resemblance to the prisoner. |
58 | 00:02:58,700 | 00:03:00,615 | Look-a-like, even. | Look-a-like, even. |
59 | 00:03:00,702 | 00:03:02,182 | Them my kinfolk. | Them my kinfolk. |
60 | 00:03:02,269 | 00:03:04,793 | We all went to reform school together. | We all went to reform school together. |
61 | 00:03:04,880 | 00:03:08,666 | Also graduated with a third degree, no doubt. | Also graduated with a third degree, no doubt. |
62 | 00:03:08,753 | 00:03:11,321 | [Fowler] 'Yeah. Ha ha ha!' | [Fowler] 'Yeah. Ha ha ha!' |
63 | 00:03:11,408 | 00:03:14,281 | Order in the court! | Order in the court! |
64 | 00:03:14,368 | 00:03:15,978 | Will the prosecutin' attorney | Will the prosecutin' attorney |
65 | 00:03:16,065 | 00:03:19,024 | call his first witness? | call his first witness? |
66 | 00:03:19,111 | 00:03:20,939 | As my first witness, I call | As my first witness, I call |
67 | 00:03:21,026 | 00:03:24,943 | Jake Timid Teller, the banker, to the stand. | Jake Timid Teller, the banker, to the stand. |
68 | 00:03:25,030 | 00:03:26,597 | He also left town. | He also left town. |
69 | 00:03:26,684 | 00:03:29,296 | Also lead poisoning. | Also lead poisoning. |
70 | 00:03:29,383 | 00:03:31,211 | Heavens to habeas corpus! | Heavens to habeas corpus! |
71 | 00:03:31,298 | 00:03:34,649 | You got to have witnesses. | You got to have witnesses. |
72 | 00:03:34,736 | 00:03:38,087 | Yes, Your Lordship. I have a surprise witness. | Yes, Your Lordship. I have a surprise witness. |
73 | 00:03:38,174 | 00:03:40,916 | Will Zelda Scrubbinbrush take the stand? | Will Zelda Scrubbinbrush take the stand? |
74 | 00:03:41,003 | 00:03:43,484 | I'll go get her. | I'll go get her. |
75 | 00:03:43,571 | 00:03:45,573 | - Who's she? - I don't know. | - Who's she? - I don't know. |
76 | 00:03:45,660 | 00:03:48,228 | I am Zelda Scrubbinbrush | I am Zelda Scrubbinbrush |
77 | 00:03:48,315 | 00:03:50,186 | cleaning lady at the bank. | cleaning lady at the bank. |
78 | 00:03:50,273 | 00:03:51,883 | I saw the whole thing. | I saw the whole thing. |
79 | 00:03:51,970 | 00:03:55,539 | There's the man who held up the bank. Fowler Means. | There's the man who held up the bank. Fowler Means. |
80 | 00:03:55,626 | 00:03:57,237 | I object. Your honor.. | I object. Your honor.. |
81 | 00:03:58,673 | 00:04:00,762 | [Zelda] 'Go hiss, you big flapper.' | [Zelda] 'Go hiss, you big flapper.' |
82 | 00:04:00,849 | 00:04:02,633 | Why, if you wasn't a lady, I'd.. | Why, if you wasn't a lady, I'd.. |
83 | 00:04:02,720 | 00:04:04,418 | It just so happens | It just so happens |
84 | 00:04:04,505 | 00:04:06,985 | that my nephew Wild Bill Hickory Stick | that my nephew Wild Bill Hickory Stick |
85 | 00:04:07,072 | 00:04:08,639 | is in town. | is in town. |
86 | 00:04:08,726 | 00:04:11,251 | I'll go fetch him. | I'll go fetch him. |
87 | 00:04:11,338 | 00:04:13,209 | [together] Wild Bill Hickory Sticks? | [together] Wild Bill Hickory Sticks? |
88 | 00:04:13,296 | 00:04:15,080 | Who the heck is he? | Who the heck is he? |
89 | 00:04:15,167 | 00:04:17,344 | [male #1] 'Only the fastest draw in the west' | [male #1] 'Only the fastest draw in the west' |
90 | 00:04:17,431 | 00:04:19,824 | or east even! | or east even! |
91 | 00:04:19,911 | 00:04:23,437 | Fowler Means, I hear you been plum unpolite | Fowler Means, I hear you been plum unpolite |
92 | 00:04:23,524 | 00:04:26,135 | to my Aunt Zelda, true? | to my Aunt Zelda, true? |
93 | 00:04:26,222 | 00:04:28,224 | True, and I'll bet she makes | True, and I'll bet she makes |
94 | 00:04:28,311 | 00:04:31,227 | terrible apple pandowdy. So draw! | terrible apple pandowdy. So draw! |
95 | 00:04:31,314 | 00:04:33,098 | Can't draw on that. | Can't draw on that. |
96 | 00:04:33,185 | 00:04:36,928 | Most obnoxious apple pandowdy in the west! | Most obnoxious apple pandowdy in the west! |
97 | 00:04:37,015 | 00:04:38,452 | Then draw on this. | Then draw on this. |
98 | 00:04:38,539 | 00:04:41,063 | Your Aunt Zelda wears army shoes! | Your Aunt Zelda wears army shoes! |
99 | 00:04:41,150 | 00:04:42,586 | Can't draw, she's got | Can't draw, she's got |
100 | 00:04:42,673 | 00:04:45,763 | the biggest feet ever to stomp the prairie. | the biggest feet ever to stomp the prairie. |
101 | 00:04:45,850 | 00:04:47,852 | Then, uh, your Aunt Zelda's nephew | Then, uh, your Aunt Zelda's nephew |
102 | 00:04:47,939 | 00:04:51,334 | is a low-down sneakin', yellow dog of a polecat. | is a low-down sneakin', yellow dog of a polecat. |
103 | 00:04:51,421 | 00:04:52,727 | Draw! | Draw! |
104 | 00:04:52,814 | 00:04:54,990 | 'Cowdarn ya! Draw!' | 'Cowdarn ya! Draw!' |
105 | 00:04:55,077 | 00:04:56,818 | Can't argue there, pardner. | Can't argue there, pardner. |
106 | 00:04:56,905 | 00:05:00,038 | I'm even too scared to get a haircut. | I'm even too scared to get a haircut. |
107 | 00:05:00,125 | 00:05:02,737 | 'I thought you said you was fast on the draw.' | 'I thought you said you was fast on the draw.' |
108 | 00:05:02,824 | 00:05:04,826 | A slight correction, please. | A slight correction, please. |
109 | 00:05:04,913 | 00:05:07,394 | I'm fast on the withdraw. | I'm fast on the withdraw. |
110 | 00:05:09,526 | 00:05:12,964 | Exit, withdrawing all the way, stage left. | Exit, withdrawing all the way, stage left. |
111 | 00:05:15,576 | 00:05:17,229 | Where do ya think you're goin'? | Where do ya think you're goin'? |
112 | 00:05:17,317 | 00:05:19,710 | That-a-way! | That-a-way! |
113 | 00:05:19,797 | 00:05:20,972 | Stop him, Fowler! | Stop him, Fowler! |
114 | 00:05:21,059 | 00:05:22,234 | It's a pleasure! | It's a pleasure! |
115 | 00:05:22,322 | 00:05:23,497 | bang bang bang | bang bang bang |
116 | 00:05:26,238 | 00:05:29,633 | Caught. Like a rose between two thorns even. | Caught. Like a rose between two thorns even. |
117 | 00:05:29,720 | 00:05:31,505 | clink clink clink | clink clink clink |
118 | 00:05:34,116 | 00:05:37,728 | Gentlemen, may I have one moment of your time, please? | Gentlemen, may I have one moment of your time, please? |
119 | 00:05:37,815 | 00:05:41,384 | If youse must dual, let's observe the rules to wit. | If youse must dual, let's observe the rules to wit. |
120 | 00:05:41,471 | 00:05:43,647 | About face. | About face. |
121 | 00:05:43,734 | 00:05:45,693 | Take ten giant steps. | Take ten giant steps. |
122 | 00:05:45,780 | 00:05:47,956 | [in unison] One, two | [in unison] One, two |
123 | 00:05:48,043 | 00:05:50,088 | three, four.. | three, four.. |
124 | 00:05:50,175 | 00:05:52,656 | Whilst I exit, stage left. | Whilst I exit, stage left. |
125 | 00:05:54,136 | 00:05:55,442 | He's getting away! | He's getting away! |
126 | 00:05:55,529 | 00:05:57,182 | I'll get the turkey varmint! | I'll get the turkey varmint! |
127 | 00:05:57,269 | 00:06:00,882 | Hear, hear! What's the idea? | Hear, hear! What's the idea? |
128 | 00:06:00,969 | 00:06:02,623 | I've a legal mind to run ya in | I've a legal mind to run ya in |
129 | 00:06:02,710 | 00:06:04,973 | for disturbin' the peace even. | for disturbin' the peace even. |
130 | 00:06:05,060 | 00:06:06,888 | But I'll give ya another chance-it. | But I'll give ya another chance-it. |
131 | 00:06:06,975 | 00:06:08,672 | Get out of my court! | Get out of my court! |
132 | 00:06:08,759 | 00:06:10,805 | Oh, yes, sir, Your Honor, sir. | Oh, yes, sir, Your Honor, sir. |
133 | 00:06:10,892 | 00:06:12,110 | Goodbye, sir. | Goodbye, sir. |
134 | 00:06:14,199 | 00:06:17,159 | Now, where were we? Where were we? | Now, where were we? Where were we? |
135 | 00:06:17,246 | 00:06:21,250 | We were tryin' Fowler Means for bank robbery. | We were tryin' Fowler Means for bank robbery. |
136 | 00:06:21,337 | 00:06:24,209 | Oh, yeah. Fowler Means. | Oh, yeah. Fowler Means. |
137 | 00:06:24,296 | 00:06:26,734 | - Take a stand. - He can't. | - Take a stand. - He can't. |
138 | 00:06:26,821 | 00:06:29,171 | Youjust let him go! Thanks! | Youjust let him go! Thanks! |
139 | 00:06:29,258 | 00:06:30,694 | [laughing] | [laughing] |
140 | 00:06:30,781 | 00:06:34,524 | Well, I've been everything else around here. | Well, I've been everything else around here. |
141 | 00:06:34,611 | 00:06:37,440 | I might as well be the accus-ed too. | I might as well be the accus-ed too. |
142 | 00:06:37,527 | 00:06:40,400 | Gentlemen of the jury, how do ya find me? | Gentlemen of the jury, how do ya find me? |
143 | 00:06:40,487 | 00:06:43,490 | Guilty or not guilty? | Guilty or not guilty? |
144 | 00:06:43,577 | 00:06:44,882 | [together] Guilty! | [together] Guilty! |
145 | 00:06:44,969 | 00:06:46,536 | I deserve it. | I deserve it. |
146 | 00:06:48,277 | 00:06:49,757 | I sentence myself | I sentence myself |
147 | 00:06:49,844 | 00:06:52,803 | to 99 years. | to 99 years. |
148 | 00:06:52,890 | 00:06:54,631 | Heavens to Murgatroyd! | Heavens to Murgatroyd! |
149 | 00:06:54,718 | 00:06:56,720 | I've painted myself into a corner. | I've painted myself into a corner. |
150 | 00:06:56,807 | 00:06:59,636 | Exit, fugitive from justice, stage left! | Exit, fugitive from justice, stage left! |
151 | 00:07:01,856 | 00:07:04,467 | Can anybody recommend a cheap lawyer. | Can anybody recommend a cheap lawyer. |
152 | 00:07:04,554 | 00:07:06,164 | Free even. | Free even. |
153 | 00:07:09,603 | 00:07:11,996 | [theme music] | [theme music] |