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# | Start | End | Original | Translated |
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1 | 00:00:07,433 | 00:00:09,000 | [shrill music] | [shrill music] |
2 | 00:00:10,734 | 00:00:11,800 | The two of us | The two of us |
3 | 00:00:11,834 | 00:00:14,133 | we're going to go inside a tunnel. | we're going to go inside a tunnel. |
4 | 00:00:14,166 | 00:00:15,667 | Seems like we're getting closer. | Seems like we're getting closer. |
5 | 00:00:15,700 | 00:00:17,200 | Closer to what? | Closer to what? |
6 | 00:00:17,233 | 00:00:19,400 | [screams] | [screams] |
7 | 00:00:21,667 | 00:00:24,166 | The next award goes to worst comedian of the year. | The next award goes to worst comedian of the year. |
8 | 00:00:24,200 | 00:00:26,500 | This guy's not funny at all. | This guy's not funny at all. |
9 | 00:00:26,533 | 00:00:27,400 | Congratulations. | Congratulations. |
10 | 00:00:27,433 | 00:00:28,900 | [laughter] | [laughter] |
11 | 00:00:28,934 | 00:00:30,233 | [shrill scream] | [shrill scream] |
12 | 00:00:30,266 | 00:00:31,066 | Fucking bitch! | Fucking bitch! |
13 | 00:00:31,100 | 00:00:32,266 | They're all laughing! | They're all laughing! |
14 | 00:00:32,300 | 00:00:33,800 | No, no, no, no no... | No, no, no, no no... |
15 | 00:00:33,834 | 00:00:35,000 | [female] This is Dragos. | [female] This is Dragos. |
16 | 00:00:35,033 | 00:00:37,867 | He's a world famous knife thrower. | He's a world famous knife thrower. |
17 | 00:00:37,900 | 00:00:39,467 | Was he calling you by his wife's name? | Was he calling you by his wife's name? |
18 | 00:00:39,500 | 00:00:41,767 | He said I reminded him of her. | He said I reminded him of her. |
19 | 00:00:41,800 | 00:00:43,333 | [foreign yelling] | [foreign yelling] |
20 | 00:00:43,367 | 00:00:44,734 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
21 | 00:00:44,767 | 00:00:45,834 | [female] Oh God! | [female] Oh God! |
22 | 00:00:45,867 | 00:00:48,333 | [fast tense music] | [fast tense music] |
23 | 00:00:48,367 | 00:00:49,166 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
24 | 00:00:49,200 | 00:00:51,500 | [screaming] | [screaming] |
25 | 00:00:53,900 | 00:00:54,734 | Do it again! | Do it again! |
26 | 00:00:56,266 | 00:00:57,767 | Fear is funny. | Fear is funny. |
27 | 00:00:58,934 | 00:01:03,300 | [ominous music and heart beating] | [ominous music and heart beating] |
28 | 00:01:03,333 | 00:01:04,767 | I'm Tracy Morgan, | I'm Tracy Morgan, |
29 | 00:01:04,800 | 00:01:07,367 | and it's time for another mind blurring episode | and it's time for another mind blurring episode |
30 | 00:01:07,400 | 00:01:08,834 | of Scare Tactics. | of Scare Tactics. |
31 | 00:01:08,867 | 00:01:10,100 | You give us your friends, | You give us your friends, |
32 | 00:01:10,133 | 00:01:12,333 | and we make their dreams come true! | and we make their dreams come true! |
33 | 00:01:12,367 | 00:01:13,333 | And by dreams, | And by dreams, |
34 | 00:01:13,367 | 00:01:15,066 | I mean nightmares. | I mean nightmares. |
35 | 00:01:15,066 | 00:01:16,667 | First nightmare goes out to Adam. | First nightmare goes out to Adam. |
36 | 00:01:16,700 | 00:01:19,834 | Adam's friend Aaron knows he wants to be a TV star, | Adam's friend Aaron knows he wants to be a TV star, |
37 | 00:01:19,867 | 00:01:22,066 | so he got him on a new reality show | so he got him on a new reality show |
38 | 00:01:22,066 | 00:01:24,400 | about a Rock and Roll exterminator. | about a Rock and Roll exterminator. |
39 | 00:01:24,433 | 00:01:26,467 | I wanna see Adam | I wanna see Adam |
40 | 00:01:26,500 | 00:01:27,333 | on the floor | on the floor |
41 | 00:01:27,367 | 00:01:29,166 | crying in tears. | crying in tears. |
42 | 00:01:29,200 | 00:01:30,867 | Sometimes he likes to like, | Sometimes he likes to like, |
43 | 00:01:30,900 | 00:01:33,500 | pull a little, like, scams on me. | pull a little, like, scams on me. |
44 | 00:01:33,533 | 00:01:35,667 | It's time for me to get my revenge on him. | It's time for me to get my revenge on him. |
45 | 00:01:35,700 | 00:01:38,266 | The extermination game is simple, Adam. | The extermination game is simple, Adam. |
46 | 00:01:38,300 | 00:01:39,533 | Just pick your spots. | Just pick your spots. |
47 | 00:01:39,567 | 00:01:40,700 | Set your traps, | Set your traps, |
48 | 00:01:40,734 | 00:01:42,333 | and try to avoid getting mauled | and try to avoid getting mauled |
49 | 00:01:42,367 | 00:01:44,266 | by the thing that lives in a tunnel. | by the thing that lives in a tunnel. |
50 | 00:01:45,700 | 00:01:47,700 | [rock music] | [rock music] |
51 | 00:01:47,734 | 00:01:48,967 | Yo, what's up? | Yo, what's up? |
52 | 00:01:49,066 | 00:01:51,300 | It's me, Mean Dean, the pest killing machine! | It's me, Mean Dean, the pest killing machine! |
53 | 00:01:52,300 | 00:01:54,266 | With me today is my partner Adam. | With me today is my partner Adam. |
54 | 00:01:54,300 | 00:01:55,800 | Tell them what for, Adam! | Tell them what for, Adam! |
55 | 00:01:55,834 | 00:01:59,200 | I'm MadAdam, I'm ready to see those creepy crawlers. | I'm MadAdam, I'm ready to see those creepy crawlers. |
56 | 00:01:59,233 | 00:02:01,166 | I have no idea what I'm getting myself into, | I have no idea what I'm getting myself into, |
57 | 00:02:01,200 | 00:02:03,433 | but it's going to be a wild ride. | but it's going to be a wild ride. |
58 | 00:02:03,467 | 00:02:04,667 | The two of us, | The two of us, |
59 | 00:02:04,700 | 00:02:05,734 | we're going to go inside a tunnel | we're going to go inside a tunnel |
60 | 00:02:05,767 | 00:02:07,300 | underneath this huge mansion. | underneath this huge mansion. |
61 | 00:02:07,333 | 00:02:10,800 | And we're gonna find out where the problem lies. | And we're gonna find out where the problem lies. |
62 | 00:02:10,834 | 00:02:12,467 | [air guitars] | [air guitars] |
63 | 00:02:12,500 | 00:02:13,734 | BAM! | BAM! |
64 | 00:02:13,767 | 00:02:17,066 | Well, I inherited this house a few months ago, | Well, I inherited this house a few months ago, |
65 | 00:02:17,066 | 00:02:18,633 | when my dad passed away. | when my dad passed away. |
66 | 00:02:18,667 | 00:02:21,100 | I can hear weird noises, sometimes. | I can hear weird noises, sometimes. |
67 | 00:02:21,133 | 00:02:23,500 | Sometimes I feel like I hear... | Sometimes I feel like I hear... |
68 | 00:02:23,533 | 00:02:24,734 | voices? | voices? |
69 | 00:02:24,767 | 00:02:26,133 | My cat actually has gone missing. | My cat actually has gone missing. |
70 | 00:02:26,166 | 00:02:27,767 | -Aw. -She's like the cutest cat. | -Aw. -She's like the cutest cat. |
71 | 00:02:27,800 | 00:02:29,066 | She's had the cutest meow. | She's had the cutest meow. |
72 | 00:02:29,100 | 00:02:30,433 | I'm just really missing her. | I'm just really missing her. |
73 | 00:02:30,467 | 00:02:31,900 | Me and Mad Adam, | Me and Mad Adam, |
74 | 00:02:31,934 | 00:02:33,166 | we're going to get to the Rock and Roll bottom of this. | we're going to get to the Rock and Roll bottom of this. |
75 | 00:02:33,200 | 00:02:34,900 | [air guitars] | [air guitars] |
76 | 00:02:34,934 | 00:02:35,934 | BAM! | BAM! |
77 | 00:02:35,967 | 00:02:37,066 | First! | First! |
78 | 00:02:37,066 | 00:02:38,433 | [rat squeaks] | [rat squeaks] |
79 | 00:02:38,467 | 00:02:39,300 | -Hi Sammy. -Oh God! | -Hi Sammy. -Oh God! |
80 | 00:02:39,333 | 00:02:40,834 | I have trained her | I have trained her |
81 | 00:02:40,867 | 00:02:42,667 | to do some reconnaissance. | to do some reconnaissance. |
82 | 00:02:42,700 | 00:02:43,600 | You see this thing? | You see this thing? |
83 | 00:02:43,633 | 00:02:44,967 | This is a lipstick camera, | This is a lipstick camera, |
84 | 00:02:45,066 | 00:02:46,066 | if there are any rats in that tunnel, | if there are any rats in that tunnel, |
85 | 00:02:46,066 | 00:02:47,066 | she's gonna find them. | she's gonna find them. |
86 | 00:02:47,100 | 00:02:49,400 | [rock music] | [rock music] |
87 | 00:02:49,433 | 00:02:50,233 | So here we are. | So here we are. |
88 | 00:02:50,266 | 00:02:51,734 | We're inside the tunnel | We're inside the tunnel |
89 | 00:02:51,767 | 00:02:53,667 | under this very old mansion. | under this very old mansion. |
90 | 00:02:53,700 | 00:02:55,100 | Let's go, let's go down here. | Let's go, let's go down here. |
91 | 00:02:57,734 | 00:02:58,834 | Oh no. | Oh no. |
92 | 00:02:58,867 | 00:03:00,667 | [dramatic stinger] Whoa! | [dramatic stinger] Whoa! |
93 | 00:03:00,700 | 00:03:01,533 | What's that? | What's that? |
94 | 00:03:02,467 | 00:03:03,900 | You tell me. | You tell me. |
95 | 00:03:03,934 | 00:03:05,500 | The owner's cat? | The owner's cat? |
96 | 00:03:05,533 | 00:03:06,734 | Not too close | Not too close |
97 | 00:03:06,767 | 00:03:08,066 | just don't get any disease on ya'. | just don't get any disease on ya'. |
98 | 00:03:08,066 | 00:03:10,667 | [grunts] Something must have hurt it. | [grunts] Something must have hurt it. |
99 | 00:03:10,700 | 00:03:12,400 | Something must have hurt it, I agree. | Something must have hurt it, I agree. |
100 | 00:03:12,433 | 00:03:13,667 | It looks chewed. | It looks chewed. |
101 | 00:03:13,700 | 00:03:15,133 | Alright, let's go. | Alright, let's go. |
102 | 00:03:15,166 | 00:03:18,100 | [unsettling music] | [unsettling music] |
103 | 00:03:19,300 | 00:03:21,400 | Okay, looks like Sammy's gone down that way. | Okay, looks like Sammy's gone down that way. |
104 | 00:03:21,433 | 00:03:22,266 | Let's go. | Let's go. |
105 | 00:03:23,200 | 00:03:24,734 | [metal rattling] | [metal rattling] |
106 | 00:03:24,767 | 00:03:26,467 | [chains clinking] | [chains clinking] |
107 | 00:03:26,500 | 00:03:27,367 | Yep. | Yep. |
108 | 00:03:27,400 | 00:03:28,367 | Okay. | Okay. |
109 | 00:03:28,400 | 00:03:29,800 | Adam, do you see what I see? | Adam, do you see what I see? |
110 | 00:03:31,433 | 00:03:32,700 | [dramatic stinger] | [dramatic stinger] |
111 | 00:03:32,734 | 00:03:34,934 | Well it's feathers, it has to be a bird. | Well it's feathers, it has to be a bird. |
112 | 00:03:34,967 | 00:03:36,967 | Like is someone bringing here their... | Like is someone bringing here their... |
113 | 00:03:37,066 | 00:03:38,266 | dinner. | dinner. |
114 | 00:03:38,300 | 00:03:40,600 | Okay, let's proceed with caution, okay Adam? | Okay, let's proceed with caution, okay Adam? |
115 | 00:03:42,767 | 00:03:44,066 | There's a big one. | There's a big one. |
116 | 00:03:44,066 | 00:03:44,900 | What's that? | What's that? |
117 | 00:03:47,233 | 00:03:49,400 | I'm thinking about how big is this | I'm thinking about how big is this |
118 | 00:03:49,433 | 00:03:50,734 | killer. | killer. |
119 | 00:03:50,767 | 00:03:52,467 | Looks fresh. | Looks fresh. |
120 | 00:03:52,500 | 00:03:54,934 | Look at this Adam, you see those gloves on the ground? | Look at this Adam, you see those gloves on the ground? |
121 | 00:03:54,967 | 00:03:56,200 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
122 | 00:03:56,233 | 00:03:57,066 | Why would there be gloves down here? | Why would there be gloves down here? |
123 | 00:03:57,066 | 00:03:58,200 | It's a person. | It's a person. |
124 | 00:03:58,233 | 00:03:59,567 | So we have blood. | So we have blood. |
125 | 00:03:59,600 | 00:04:00,734 | Feathers. | Feathers. |
126 | 00:04:00,767 | 00:04:01,600 | Rat. | Rat. |
127 | 00:04:01,633 | 00:04:02,767 | Gloves. | Gloves. |
128 | 00:04:02,800 | 00:04:03,900 | This seems like we're getting closer. | This seems like we're getting closer. |
129 | 00:04:03,934 | 00:04:06,900 | Yeah, but closer to what? | Yeah, but closer to what? |
130 | 00:04:06,934 | 00:04:07,767 | To our answer. | To our answer. |
131 | 00:04:09,567 | 00:04:10,367 | What's that? | What's that? |
132 | 00:04:10,400 | 00:04:12,300 | I don't know. | I don't know. |
133 | 00:04:12,333 | 00:04:14,066 | I'm kinda freaked out a little bit, right now. | I'm kinda freaked out a little bit, right now. |
134 | 00:04:14,066 | 00:04:16,166 | [laughs nervously] Sammy's down there. | [laughs nervously] Sammy's down there. |
135 | 00:04:16,200 | 00:04:17,333 | [rat squeaking] | [rat squeaking] |
136 | 00:04:17,367 | 00:04:18,633 | What is that? | What is that? |
137 | 00:04:20,734 | 00:04:22,500 | [Dean kisses] Sammy? | [Dean kisses] Sammy? |
138 | 00:04:22,533 | 00:04:23,433 | Hey! | Hey! |
139 | 00:04:23,467 | 00:04:26,133 | [kisses] | [kisses] |
140 | 00:04:26,166 | 00:04:29,233 | [squeak and yells] | [squeak and yells] |
141 | 00:04:29,266 | 00:04:32,166 | [panicked screams] | [panicked screams] |
142 | 00:04:39,367 | 00:04:40,967 | Fucking door's locked man! | Fucking door's locked man! |
143 | 00:04:41,066 | 00:04:44,166 | [pained yelling] | [pained yelling] |
144 | 00:04:44,200 | 00:04:45,600 | [wood cracking] | [wood cracking] |
145 | 00:04:45,633 | 00:04:46,834 | [screams] | [screams] |
146 | 00:04:46,867 | 00:04:50,600 | [manic laughter and screams] | [manic laughter and screams] |
147 | 00:04:52,367 | 00:04:53,700 | Are you scared? | Are you scared? |
148 | 00:04:53,734 | 00:04:54,533 | Yes! | Yes! |
149 | 00:04:54,567 | 00:04:55,700 | You shouldn't be! | You shouldn't be! |
150 | 00:04:55,734 | 00:04:57,200 | [theatrical scary music] | [theatrical scary music] |
151 | 00:04:57,233 | 00:04:59,400 | You're on Scare Tactics. | You're on Scare Tactics. |
152 | 00:04:59,433 | 00:05:02,266 | [annoyed exhales] | [annoyed exhales] |
153 | 00:05:03,300 | 00:05:04,900 | I can't take off this. | I can't take off this. |
154 | 00:05:04,934 | 00:05:06,433 | Your friend Aaron set you up. | Your friend Aaron set you up. |
155 | 00:05:06,467 | 00:05:07,600 | [groans] | [groans] |
156 | 00:05:07,633 | 00:05:08,767 | No way. | No way. |
157 | 00:05:09,934 | 00:05:11,066 | What did you think was gonna happen? | What did you think was gonna happen? |
158 | 00:05:11,066 | 00:05:12,400 | I was going to be eaten alive. | I was going to be eaten alive. |
159 | 00:05:12,433 | 00:05:13,834 | [laughs] | [laughs] |
160 | 00:05:13,867 | 00:05:15,967 | The door was never locked, that was just acting. | The door was never locked, that was just acting. |
161 | 00:05:16,066 | 00:05:18,734 | You can try it right now, if you'd like. | You can try it right now, if you'd like. |
162 | 00:05:18,767 | 00:05:21,834 | [sighs and laughter] | [sighs and laughter] |
163 | 00:05:23,066 | 00:05:24,600 | Sucker! [laughs] | Sucker! [laughs] |
164 | 00:05:24,633 | 00:05:26,600 | Are you now thinking about pest control as a job? | Are you now thinking about pest control as a job? |
165 | 00:05:26,633 | 00:05:27,867 | No. | No. |
166 | 00:05:27,900 | 00:05:28,734 | I don't want to go into a basement for a while. | I don't want to go into a basement for a while. |
167 | 00:05:28,767 | 00:05:30,867 | [laughs] | [laughs] |
168 | 00:05:32,500 | 00:05:34,066 | Well Adam, | Well Adam, |
169 | 00:05:34,066 | 00:05:36,133 | looks like you're not cut out to be an exterminator. | looks like you're not cut out to be an exterminator. |
170 | 00:05:36,166 | 00:05:37,333 | On the bright side, | On the bright side, |
171 | 00:05:37,367 | 00:05:39,533 | you do have a talent for screaming! | you do have a talent for screaming! |
172 | 00:05:39,567 | 00:05:40,700 | There's no money in that, | There's no money in that, |
173 | 00:05:40,734 | 00:05:43,066 | but it makes my show better. | but it makes my show better. |
174 | 00:05:43,066 | 00:05:44,433 | Coming up: | Coming up: |
175 | 00:05:44,467 | 00:05:46,834 | The next award goes to worst comedian of the year. | The next award goes to worst comedian of the year. |
176 | 00:05:46,867 | 00:05:48,300 | Congratulations. [hysterical laughter] | Congratulations. [hysterical laughter] |
177 | 00:05:48,333 | 00:05:49,533 | [blows raspberry] | [blows raspberry] |
178 | 00:05:49,567 | 00:05:51,667 | Some guys just can't take a joke. | Some guys just can't take a joke. |
179 | 00:05:51,700 | 00:05:52,800 | Fucking bitch! | Fucking bitch! |
180 | 00:05:52,834 | 00:05:54,266 | They're all laughing! | They're all laughing! |
181 | 00:05:54,300 | 00:05:55,400 | This is crazy... | This is crazy... |
182 | 00:05:55,433 | 00:05:56,834 | Are you calling me crazy? | Are you calling me crazy? |
183 | 00:05:56,867 | 00:05:57,834 | -No, no, no, not you. -Are you saying I'm crazy? | -No, no, no, not you. -Are you saying I'm crazy? |
184 | 00:05:57,867 | 00:05:58,667 | No, no no... | No, no no... |
185 | 00:05:58,700 | 00:06:01,233 | [shrill music] | [shrill music] |
186 | 00:06:02,967 | 00:06:05,967 | [suspenseful music] | [suspenseful music] |
187 | 00:06:06,867 | 00:06:08,433 | Now taking center stage, | Now taking center stage, |
188 | 00:06:08,467 | 00:06:10,100 | it's our new pal Keelon! | it's our new pal Keelon! |
189 | 00:06:10,133 | 00:06:13,400 | Keelon was looking to break into show business. | Keelon was looking to break into show business. |
190 | 00:06:13,433 | 00:06:15,633 | So his cousin Joe helped him get a job | So his cousin Joe helped him get a job |
191 | 00:06:15,667 | 00:06:17,433 | at a comedy award show. | at a comedy award show. |
192 | 00:06:17,467 | 00:06:20,166 | Keelon's always putting me in some real sticky situations. | Keelon's always putting me in some real sticky situations. |
193 | 00:06:20,200 | 00:06:21,066 | He's a funny guy; | He's a funny guy; |
194 | 00:06:21,066 | 00:06:22,266 | He likes to tell jokes. | He likes to tell jokes. |
195 | 00:06:22,300 | 00:06:23,900 | He likes to play jokes and pranks. | He likes to play jokes and pranks. |
196 | 00:06:23,934 | 00:06:25,400 | So you know what, Keelon? | So you know what, Keelon? |
197 | 00:06:25,433 | 00:06:27,900 | This is payback and we'll see how you handle that. | This is payback and we'll see how you handle that. |
198 | 00:06:27,934 | 00:06:29,800 | Keelon, a couple of things you gotta know | Keelon, a couple of things you gotta know |
199 | 00:06:29,834 | 00:06:31,533 | about working with comedians; | about working with comedians; |
200 | 00:06:31,567 | 00:06:32,967 | Bombing is bad, | Bombing is bad, |
201 | 00:06:33,066 | 00:06:34,066 | killing is good! | killing is good! |
202 | 00:06:34,100 | 00:06:36,066 | Except for when it's bad. | Except for when it's bad. |
203 | 00:06:36,066 | 00:06:37,433 | Like right now. | Like right now. |
204 | 00:06:39,467 | 00:06:40,700 | [female] So as you can see, | [female] So as you can see, |
205 | 00:06:40,734 | 00:06:42,400 | it's an intimate event. | it's an intimate event. |
206 | 00:06:42,433 | 00:06:45,400 | I am the creator of Komedy with a K magazine, | I am the creator of Komedy with a K magazine, |
207 | 00:06:45,433 | 00:06:47,066 | and tonight we're having our first annual | and tonight we're having our first annual |
208 | 00:06:47,100 | 00:06:48,200 | Comedy Awards. | Comedy Awards. |
209 | 00:06:48,233 | 00:06:49,700 | -So, you'll notice the cameras. -Yes. | -So, you'll notice the cameras. -Yes. |
210 | 00:06:49,734 | 00:06:51,266 | We'll be streamed live to the internet. | We'll be streamed live to the internet. |
211 | 00:06:51,300 | 00:06:52,834 | -I'll be here. -Are you a comedy fan? | -I'll be here. -Are you a comedy fan? |
212 | 00:06:52,867 | 00:06:54,667 | -I am, I am. -Yeah? | -I am, I am. -Yeah? |
213 | 00:06:54,700 | 00:06:55,934 | I don't have too many jokes myself, | I don't have too many jokes myself, |
214 | 00:06:55,967 | 00:06:57,433 | but you know, I'm going to try. | but you know, I'm going to try. |
215 | 00:06:57,467 | 00:06:59,367 | Well why don't we head up and I'll show you everything. | Well why don't we head up and I'll show you everything. |
216 | 00:06:59,400 | 00:07:01,667 | So if I can get you to just station yourself here. | So if I can get you to just station yourself here. |
217 | 00:07:01,700 | 00:07:03,867 | -Right here? -Thank you so much, Keelon. | -Right here? -Thank you so much, Keelon. |
218 | 00:07:04,967 | 00:07:07,867 | [dark piano music] | [dark piano music] |
219 | 00:07:08,934 | 00:07:09,867 | What's your name? | What's your name? |
220 | 00:07:09,900 | 00:07:10,700 | -Keelon. -Marty. | -Keelon. -Marty. |
221 | 00:07:10,734 | 00:07:11,533 | -Marty? -Yeah. | -Marty? -Yeah. |
222 | 00:07:11,567 | 00:07:12,734 | Alright, nice to meet you. | Alright, nice to meet you. |
223 | 00:07:12,767 | 00:07:13,734 | So these are the trophies, huh? | So these are the trophies, huh? |
224 | 00:07:13,767 | 00:07:15,266 | -Yes, it appears so. -Wow. | -Yes, it appears so. -Wow. |
225 | 00:07:15,300 | 00:07:17,133 | Where's the best one? | Where's the best one? |
226 | 00:07:17,166 | 00:07:20,133 | -I believe this is the one. -Alright, now, let me see it. | -I believe this is the one. -Alright, now, let me see it. |
227 | 00:07:22,066 | 00:07:24,133 | [kisses] [laughs] | [kisses] [laughs] |
228 | 00:07:24,166 | 00:07:27,100 | I see you really want that one. | I see you really want that one. |
229 | 00:07:27,133 | 00:07:29,200 | [tense music] | [tense music] |
230 | 00:07:29,233 | 00:07:31,400 | -See you later. -Alright. | -See you later. -Alright. |
231 | 00:07:32,767 | 00:07:33,934 | Welcome, everyone | Welcome, everyone |
232 | 00:07:33,967 | 00:07:36,834 | to the first annual Komedy with a K Magazine | to the first annual Komedy with a K Magazine |
233 | 00:07:36,867 | 00:07:37,900 | Comedy Awards. | Comedy Awards. |
234 | 00:07:37,934 | 00:07:39,767 | [cheers and applause] | [cheers and applause] |
235 | 00:07:39,800 | 00:07:41,367 | This is being streamed live on the internet, | This is being streamed live on the internet, |
236 | 00:07:41,400 | 00:07:43,967 | so there's going to be people all over the world watching. | so there's going to be people all over the world watching. |
237 | 00:07:44,066 | 00:07:46,266 | For a big award, we wanted to have a big star. | For a big award, we wanted to have a big star. |
238 | 00:07:46,300 | 00:07:48,467 | Please welcome, Tracy Morgan! | Please welcome, Tracy Morgan! |
239 | 00:07:48,500 | 00:07:49,400 | [applause] | [applause] |
240 | 00:07:49,433 | 00:07:51,266 | Hey, Komedy with a K Magazine. | Hey, Komedy with a K Magazine. |
241 | 00:07:51,300 | 00:07:53,133 | This is Tracy Morgan, | This is Tracy Morgan, |
242 | 00:07:53,166 | 00:07:54,834 | and I'm here to present the award | and I'm here to present the award |
243 | 00:07:54,867 | 00:07:56,767 | for best comedian of the year. | for best comedian of the year. |
244 | 00:07:56,800 | 00:07:58,200 | Now y'all not paying me enough | Now y'all not paying me enough |
245 | 00:07:58,233 | 00:07:59,533 | to go through all the nominees. | to go through all the nominees. |
246 | 00:07:59,567 | 00:08:01,633 | So I'mma get right down to it. | So I'mma get right down to it. |
247 | 00:08:01,667 | 00:08:02,900 | The winner is... | The winner is... |
248 | 00:08:03,934 | 00:08:05,500 | Matt Tosoni. | Matt Tosoni. |
249 | 00:08:05,533 | 00:08:09,133 | [cheers and applause] | [cheers and applause] |
250 | 00:08:09,166 | 00:08:10,433 | [chair clatters] | [chair clatters] |
251 | 00:08:10,467 | 00:08:12,266 | [Matt] Aw man, thank you very much | [Matt] Aw man, thank you very much |
252 | 00:08:12,300 | 00:08:13,767 | for giving me this, uh, goblet. | for giving me this, uh, goblet. |
253 | 00:08:13,800 | 00:08:15,900 | This is perfect, cause I've been looking everywhere | This is perfect, cause I've been looking everywhere |
254 | 00:08:15,934 | 00:08:18,166 | for something to put on that dream coaster at home. | for something to put on that dream coaster at home. |
255 | 00:08:18,200 | 00:08:19,600 | [laughs] | [laughs] |
256 | 00:08:19,633 | 00:08:21,333 | Yeah, why don't you put something on your fucking face. | Yeah, why don't you put something on your fucking face. |
257 | 00:08:21,367 | 00:08:23,967 | [crowd booing] | [crowd booing] |
258 | 00:08:25,166 | 00:08:26,600 | Um, so... | Um, so... |
259 | 00:08:26,633 | 00:08:29,200 | Uh, thank you very much guys, for the award! | Uh, thank you very much guys, for the award! |
260 | 00:08:29,233 | 00:08:31,633 | [claps] | [claps] |
261 | 00:08:31,667 | 00:08:34,066 | The next award goes to Worst Comedian of the Year. | The next award goes to Worst Comedian of the Year. |
262 | 00:08:34,066 | 00:08:36,934 | This guy's not funny at all. | This guy's not funny at all. |
263 | 00:08:36,967 | 00:08:38,166 | The winner is... | The winner is... |
264 | 00:08:39,166 | 00:08:40,734 | Marty Schram! | Marty Schram! |
265 | 00:08:40,767 | 00:08:42,467 | [cheers and laughter] | [cheers and laughter] |
266 | 00:08:42,500 | 00:08:44,834 | [blows raspberry] | [blows raspberry] |
267 | 00:08:44,867 | 00:08:46,200 | You suck, Marty! | You suck, Marty! |
268 | 00:08:48,066 | 00:08:49,433 | Congratulations, Marty. | Congratulations, Marty. |
269 | 00:08:51,767 | 00:08:53,066 | Wow, looks like this is | Wow, looks like this is |
270 | 00:08:53,066 | 00:08:55,066 | the biggest fucking joke of the night. | the biggest fucking joke of the night. |
271 | 00:08:55,100 | 00:08:56,166 | Uh, eat me. | Uh, eat me. |
272 | 00:08:56,200 | 00:08:57,233 | [crowd booing] | [crowd booing] |
273 | 00:08:57,266 | 00:08:58,533 | You're gonna regret this. | You're gonna regret this. |
274 | 00:09:01,767 | 00:09:03,266 | It's getting a little too real in here for me, | It's getting a little too real in here for me, |
275 | 00:09:03,300 | 00:09:04,967 | so why don't we take a fifteen minute intermission? | so why don't we take a fifteen minute intermission? |
276 | 00:09:05,066 | 00:09:06,066 | Thanks so much guys. | Thanks so much guys. |
277 | 00:09:07,233 | 00:09:08,133 | Why don't you come with me, | Why don't you come with me, |
278 | 00:09:08,166 | 00:09:09,300 | we're just gonna set up some | we're just gonna set up some |
279 | 00:09:09,333 | 00:09:10,567 | -refreshments for everybody. -Okay | -refreshments for everybody. -Okay |
280 | 00:09:12,834 | 00:09:14,734 | If you could take all the labels off of these; | If you could take all the labels off of these; |
281 | 00:09:14,767 | 00:09:16,066 | If they take them back in that room, | If they take them back in that room, |
282 | 00:09:16,066 | 00:09:17,300 | we just can't have the labels on for camera. | we just can't have the labels on for camera. |
283 | 00:09:17,333 | 00:09:18,800 | -Okay, all of them? -Yeah. | -Okay, all of them? -Yeah. |
284 | 00:09:18,834 | 00:09:21,934 | I'll be right back, I'll just be like five minutes. | I'll be right back, I'll just be like five minutes. |
285 | 00:09:21,967 | 00:09:24,633 | [ominous music] | [ominous music] |
286 | 00:09:25,767 | 00:09:28,066 | [Marty] Said that's fucking bullshit! | [Marty] Said that's fucking bullshit! |
287 | 00:09:28,066 | 00:09:30,900 | [screams and thud] | [screams and thud] |
288 | 00:09:30,934 | 00:09:33,300 | [shrill stinger] | [shrill stinger] |
289 | 00:09:33,333 | 00:09:34,500 | Fucking bitch! | Fucking bitch! |
290 | 00:09:35,734 | 00:09:37,266 | They're all laughing! | They're all laughing! |
291 | 00:09:37,300 | 00:09:39,066 | No, no, no, no, no... | No, no, no, no, no... |
292 | 00:09:39,066 | 00:09:40,700 | Shut your Goddamn mouth! | Shut your Goddamn mouth! |
293 | 00:09:40,734 | 00:09:42,300 | -No, are you okay? -You were laughing at me! | -No, are you okay? -You were laughing at me! |
294 | 00:09:42,333 | 00:09:43,467 | I saw you laughing at me! | I saw you laughing at me! |
295 | 00:09:43,500 | 00:09:45,066 | Hey, man! | Hey, man! |
296 | 00:09:45,066 | 00:09:46,266 | Come on, like... | Come on, like... |
297 | 00:09:46,300 | 00:09:47,100 | You thought it was pretty funny. | You thought it was pretty funny. |
298 | 00:09:47,133 | 00:09:48,066 | You make me laugh. | You make me laugh. |
299 | 00:09:48,066 | 00:09:49,433 | This is crazy. | This is crazy. |
300 | 00:09:49,467 | 00:09:50,734 | -Are you calling me crazy? -No, no, no, not you! | -Are you calling me crazy? -No, no, no, not you! |
301 | 00:09:50,767 | 00:09:51,967 | -Are you saying I'm crazy? -No, no, no. | -Are you saying I'm crazy? -No, no, no. |
302 | 00:09:52,066 | 00:09:54,066 | -You know what else is crazy? -Marty, | -You know what else is crazy? -Marty, |
303 | 00:09:54,100 | 00:09:55,200 | Marty, just put that down. | Marty, just put that down. |
304 | 00:09:55,233 | 00:09:56,900 | I'll show you something that's crazy! | I'll show you something that's crazy! |
305 | 00:09:56,934 | 00:09:58,066 | Look at the TV! | Look at the TV! |
306 | 00:09:58,934 | 00:09:59,767 | Look! | Look! |
307 | 00:10:01,233 | 00:10:02,100 | Are you scared? | Are you scared? |
308 | 00:10:03,000 | 00:10:04,100 | You shouldn't be. | You shouldn't be. |
309 | 00:10:05,333 | 00:10:06,934 | You're on Scare Tactics. | You're on Scare Tactics. |
310 | 00:10:08,834 | 00:10:10,367 | Your cousin Joe set you up. | Your cousin Joe set you up. |
311 | 00:10:12,133 | 00:10:13,500 | Okay. | Okay. |
312 | 00:10:14,433 | 00:10:16,333 | So, you guys are crazy. | So, you guys are crazy. |
313 | 00:10:16,367 | 00:10:17,300 | No, seriously. | No, seriously. |
314 | 00:10:17,333 | 00:10:18,133 | [laughs] | [laughs] |
315 | 00:10:18,166 | 00:10:20,033 | This is crazy. | This is crazy. |
316 | 00:10:20,066 | 00:10:22,400 | Ah, we got you [laughter] | Ah, we got you [laughter] |
317 | 00:10:22,433 | 00:10:25,633 | -Dog, come on. -They had you dancing! | -Dog, come on. -They had you dancing! |
318 | 00:10:25,667 | 00:10:27,433 | So on a scale of one to 10. | So on a scale of one to 10. |
319 | 00:10:27,467 | 00:10:28,767 | When shit was going down, | When shit was going down, |
320 | 00:10:28,800 | 00:10:29,600 | how scared were you? | how scared were you? |
321 | 00:10:29,633 | 00:10:30,834 | I would say 10, yeah. | I would say 10, yeah. |
322 | 00:10:30,867 | 00:10:31,767 | You had me. | You had me. |
323 | 00:10:31,800 | 00:10:32,800 | And trust me, Tracy Morgan | And trust me, Tracy Morgan |
324 | 00:10:32,834 | 00:10:33,834 | if I got beat up, | if I got beat up, |
325 | 00:10:33,867 | 00:10:35,033 | it would have been on you. | it would have been on you. |
326 | 00:10:35,066 | 00:10:37,133 | [laughs] | [laughs] |
327 | 00:10:38,800 | 00:10:40,467 | The jokes on you, Keelon, | The jokes on you, Keelon, |
328 | 00:10:40,500 | 00:10:41,767 | and as a thank you, | and as a thank you, |
329 | 00:10:41,800 | 00:10:43,934 | if you ever want to come to one of my shows. | if you ever want to come to one of my shows. |
330 | 00:10:43,967 | 00:10:45,000 | You can buy a ticket | You can buy a ticket |
331 | 00:10:45,033 | 00:10:47,300 | like everybody else. | like everybody else. |
332 | 00:10:47,333 | 00:10:48,266 | Up next: | Up next: |
333 | 00:10:48,300 | 00:10:49,567 | [female] This is Dragos. | [female] This is Dragos. |
334 | 00:10:49,600 | 00:10:51,800 | He is a world famous knife thrower. | He is a world famous knife thrower. |
335 | 00:10:51,834 | 00:10:53,834 | [sharpening knife] | [sharpening knife] |
336 | 00:10:53,867 | 00:10:55,600 | A professional knife thrower; | A professional knife thrower; |
337 | 00:10:55,633 | 00:10:57,734 | Who's way off target. | Who's way off target. |
338 | 00:10:57,767 | 00:10:59,834 | -Oh my God! -Oh my God! | -Oh my God! -Oh my God! |
339 | 00:10:59,867 | 00:11:01,433 | [foreign yelling] | [foreign yelling] |
340 | 00:11:01,467 | 00:11:02,266 | [gasps] Oh my God! | [gasps] Oh my God! |
341 | 00:11:02,300 | 00:11:05,300 | [suspenseful music] | [suspenseful music] |
342 | 00:11:06,900 | 00:11:10,567 | [suspenseful music] | [suspenseful music] |
343 | 00:11:10,600 | 00:11:13,367 | Well, if it isn't my girl Maria. | Well, if it isn't my girl Maria. |
344 | 00:11:13,400 | 00:11:15,100 | Maria's friend Hamza set her up | Maria's friend Hamza set her up |
345 | 00:11:15,133 | 00:11:18,834 | to help a knife thrower rehearse for his big comeback tour. | to help a knife thrower rehearse for his big comeback tour. |
346 | 00:11:18,867 | 00:11:20,600 | I'm going to put my friend Maria on Scare Tactics, | I'm going to put my friend Maria on Scare Tactics, |
347 | 00:11:20,633 | 00:11:21,934 | because I need to exact revenge on her | because I need to exact revenge on her |
348 | 00:11:21,967 | 00:11:23,500 | for two years worth of pranks played on me. | for two years worth of pranks played on me. |
349 | 00:11:23,533 | 00:11:25,133 | Today is all about | Today is all about |
350 | 00:11:25,166 | 00:11:27,233 | getting back at her in one fell swoop. | getting back at her in one fell swoop. |
351 | 00:11:27,266 | 00:11:29,066 | Now Maria, I want you to know, | Now Maria, I want you to know, |
352 | 00:11:29,100 | 00:11:31,200 | even though you'll be stuck in a room | even though you'll be stuck in a room |
353 | 00:11:31,233 | 00:11:33,734 | with a man who throws razor sharp knives, | with a man who throws razor sharp knives, |
354 | 00:11:33,767 | 00:11:35,066 | it's okay! | it's okay! |
355 | 00:11:35,066 | 00:11:36,900 | He's a trained professional. | He's a trained professional. |
356 | 00:11:36,934 | 00:11:40,133 | Unfortunately, he stopped taking his medication. | Unfortunately, he stopped taking his medication. |
357 | 00:11:40,166 | 00:11:41,066 | Sorry. | Sorry. |
358 | 00:11:42,500 | 00:11:45,633 | [mysterious music] | [mysterious music] |
359 | 00:11:45,667 | 00:11:47,133 | [female] So come on in here. | [female] So come on in here. |
360 | 00:11:49,100 | 00:11:50,934 | I am a talent manager, | I am a talent manager, |
361 | 00:11:50,967 | 00:11:53,400 | and I manage a gentleman by the name of Dragos. | and I manage a gentleman by the name of Dragos. |
362 | 00:11:53,433 | 00:11:55,467 | He is a world famous | He is a world famous |
363 | 00:11:55,500 | 00:11:57,500 | internationally known knife thrower. | internationally known knife thrower. |
364 | 00:11:58,700 | 00:12:00,367 | As you can see this is his rehearsal space. | As you can see this is his rehearsal space. |
365 | 00:12:00,400 | 00:12:02,533 | [drum beat] | [drum beat] |
366 | 00:12:02,567 | 00:12:05,400 | He's practicing for a comeback tour. | He's practicing for a comeback tour. |
367 | 00:12:05,433 | 00:12:06,900 | You're going to work with our caterer, Scott. | You're going to work with our caterer, Scott. |
368 | 00:12:06,934 | 00:12:08,133 | So if you want to come, | So if you want to come, |
369 | 00:12:08,166 | 00:12:09,667 | Maria just have a seat on the stool there. | Maria just have a seat on the stool there. |
370 | 00:12:09,700 | 00:12:11,066 | And then, uh... | And then, uh... |
371 | 00:12:11,066 | 00:12:13,900 | I think Scott should be around here somewhere. | I think Scott should be around here somewhere. |
372 | 00:12:13,934 | 00:12:14,834 | Cool. | Cool. |
373 | 00:12:14,867 | 00:12:16,300 | We have a showcase for promoters | We have a showcase for promoters |
374 | 00:12:16,333 | 00:12:17,533 | later this evening. | later this evening. |
375 | 00:12:17,567 | 00:12:18,567 | We want to make sure that they're | We want to make sure that they're |
376 | 00:12:18,600 | 00:12:19,567 | still on board. | still on board. |
377 | 00:12:19,600 | 00:12:20,800 | That kind of thing. | That kind of thing. |
378 | 00:12:20,834 | 00:12:22,266 | Oh, and the last thing I do have to mention is, | Oh, and the last thing I do have to mention is, |
379 | 00:12:22,300 | 00:12:23,500 | he has medication, | he has medication, |
380 | 00:12:23,533 | 00:12:25,133 | he really needs to just keep calm | he really needs to just keep calm |
381 | 00:12:25,166 | 00:12:26,367 | and keep loose and everything. | and keep loose and everything. |
382 | 00:12:26,400 | 00:12:27,533 | That's what these do, which is great. | That's what these do, which is great. |
383 | 00:12:27,567 | 00:12:28,633 | Okay | Okay |
384 | 00:12:28,667 | 00:12:29,834 | Don't bring up his wife. | Don't bring up his wife. |
385 | 00:12:29,867 | 00:12:31,066 | She passed away, | She passed away, |
386 | 00:12:31,100 | 00:12:32,633 | and he's kind of sensitive about it. | and he's kind of sensitive about it. |
387 | 00:12:32,667 | 00:12:34,967 | -Okay. -This is Dragos. | -Okay. -This is Dragos. |
388 | 00:12:35,066 | 00:12:36,400 | Dragos, this is Maria. | Dragos, this is Maria. |
389 | 00:12:36,433 | 00:12:37,767 | She's going to be helping us out here today. | She's going to be helping us out here today. |
390 | 00:12:37,800 | 00:12:38,700 | Hi. | Hi. |
391 | 00:12:38,734 | 00:12:39,934 | So if you have anything | So if you have anything |
392 | 00:12:39,967 | 00:12:40,967 | or anything you need or whatever, | or anything you need or whatever, |
393 | 00:12:41,066 | 00:12:42,133 | just ask Maria. | just ask Maria. |
394 | 00:12:42,166 | 00:12:43,600 | She's more than happy to help you out. | She's more than happy to help you out. |
395 | 00:12:43,633 | 00:12:46,233 | Yes, I will let her know if I need anything. | Yes, I will let her know if I need anything. |
396 | 00:12:46,266 | 00:12:47,600 | Okay, great. | Okay, great. |
397 | 00:12:47,633 | 00:12:48,600 | So you know, a little intense. | So you know, a little intense. |
398 | 00:12:48,633 | 00:12:50,633 | -Okay, cool. -Alright | -Okay, cool. -Alright |
399 | 00:12:50,667 | 00:12:51,467 | Thanks, Maria. | Thanks, Maria. |
400 | 00:12:51,500 | 00:12:52,333 | I'll be back. | I'll be back. |
401 | 00:12:52,367 | 00:12:53,166 | I'll check on you in a few minutes. | I'll check on you in a few minutes. |
402 | 00:12:53,200 | 00:12:54,467 | Okay. | Okay. |
403 | 00:12:54,500 | 00:12:57,200 | [knife scraping] | [knife scraping] |
404 | 00:12:58,934 | 00:13:00,266 | [blows] | [blows] |
405 | 00:13:02,967 | 00:13:04,233 | [sighs] It's been a long time | [sighs] It's been a long time |
406 | 00:13:04,266 | 00:13:05,100 | since I have... | since I have... |
407 | 00:13:06,200 | 00:13:08,367 | Preformed for others. | Preformed for others. |
408 | 00:13:08,400 | 00:13:10,734 | They want Dragos to do | They want Dragos to do |
409 | 00:13:10,767 | 00:13:12,200 | what Dragos does not want to do. | what Dragos does not want to do. |
410 | 00:13:12,233 | 00:13:13,400 | Well you should definitely do | Well you should definitely do |
411 | 00:13:13,433 | 00:13:14,900 | what you love doing. | what you love doing. |
412 | 00:13:16,266 | 00:13:17,934 | That's what my wife said to me. | That's what my wife said to me. |
413 | 00:13:18,967 | 00:13:20,567 | See her. | See her. |
414 | 00:13:20,600 | 00:13:21,967 | Is that her? | Is that her? |
415 | 00:13:22,066 | 00:13:22,934 | It's Gordana, my wife. | It's Gordana, my wife. |
416 | 00:13:22,967 | 00:13:23,767 | My love. | My love. |
417 | 00:13:23,800 | 00:13:25,133 | Oh she's beautiful. | Oh she's beautiful. |
418 | 00:13:26,333 | 00:13:28,400 | You see the eyes, they look like you. | You see the eyes, they look like you. |
419 | 00:13:30,834 | 00:13:33,834 | [suspenseful music] | [suspenseful music] |
420 | 00:13:37,867 | 00:13:39,700 | Why don't you take your medication? | Why don't you take your medication? |
421 | 00:13:39,734 | 00:13:40,700 | No, thank you. | No, thank you. |
422 | 00:13:40,734 | 00:13:41,633 | Are you sure? | Are you sure? |
423 | 00:13:41,667 | 00:13:43,233 | You don't want your pills? | You don't want your pills? |
424 | 00:13:44,600 | 00:13:45,500 | Hey guys, how's it going? | Hey guys, how's it going? |
425 | 00:13:45,533 | 00:13:47,066 | Hi, not bad. | Hi, not bad. |
426 | 00:13:47,066 | 00:13:49,533 | I've, [mutters] don't feel ready. | I've, [mutters] don't feel ready. |
427 | 00:13:49,567 | 00:13:50,533 | You don't feel ready? | You don't feel ready? |
428 | 00:13:50,567 | 00:13:51,767 | I'm nervous, right? | I'm nervous, right? |
429 | 00:13:53,066 | 00:13:54,500 | Did he take his medication? | Did he take his medication? |
430 | 00:13:55,667 | 00:13:56,900 | Um, no. | Um, no. |
431 | 00:13:56,934 | 00:13:58,500 | Gordana, I took the medication. | Gordana, I took the medication. |
432 | 00:13:58,533 | 00:13:59,367 | That's Maria. | That's Maria. |
433 | 00:14:00,266 | 00:14:01,500 | That's what I said. | That's what I said. |
434 | 00:14:01,533 | 00:14:03,100 | Maria, I took the medication, right? | Maria, I took the medication, right? |
435 | 00:14:03,133 | 00:14:05,467 | Okay, we're gonna go and grab the other pills, | Okay, we're gonna go and grab the other pills, |
436 | 00:14:05,500 | 00:14:06,300 | -from the van. -Okay, sure. | -from the van. -Okay, sure. |
437 | 00:14:06,333 | 00:14:07,667 | Thanks guys! | Thanks guys! |
438 | 00:14:07,700 | 00:14:08,867 | So you just get him set up, eating, | So you just get him set up, eating, |
439 | 00:14:08,900 | 00:14:10,500 | and then you can head out too, okay? | and then you can head out too, okay? |
440 | 00:14:10,533 | 00:14:11,333 | Forget the food. | Forget the food. |
441 | 00:14:11,367 | 00:14:13,066 | You will assist me. | You will assist me. |
442 | 00:14:13,066 | 00:14:14,800 | Target Practice. | Target Practice. |
443 | 00:14:14,834 | 00:14:17,100 | Was he calling you by his wife's name? | Was he calling you by his wife's name? |
444 | 00:14:17,133 | 00:14:18,066 | Yeah he was. | Yeah he was. |
445 | 00:14:18,066 | 00:14:21,266 | He said I reminded him of her? | He said I reminded him of her? |
446 | 00:14:21,300 | 00:14:23,467 | Oh no. | Oh no. |
447 | 00:14:23,500 | 00:14:25,700 | What happened to her? | What happened to her? |
448 | 00:14:25,734 | 00:14:27,367 | He pierced her aorta with a knife, | He pierced her aorta with a knife, |
449 | 00:14:27,400 | 00:14:30,633 | and she bled to death in front of about 15,000 people. | and she bled to death in front of about 15,000 people. |
450 | 00:14:31,533 | 00:14:33,867 | [screaming] | [screaming] |
451 | 00:14:37,700 | 00:14:39,500 | [dramatic music] | [dramatic music] |
452 | 00:14:39,533 | 00:14:40,834 | -Oh my God, oh my God! -Oh my God! | -Oh my God, oh my God! -Oh my God! |
453 | 00:14:40,867 | 00:14:41,934 | We gotta get him down. | We gotta get him down. |
454 | 00:14:41,967 | 00:14:43,734 | -We gotta get him down! -Hamza! | -We gotta get him down! -Hamza! |
455 | 00:14:43,767 | 00:14:44,900 | -Oh my gosh! -Oh my God! | -Oh my gosh! -Oh my God! |
456 | 00:14:44,934 | 00:14:47,767 | Oh my God, Hamza, are you okay? | Oh my God, Hamza, are you okay? |
457 | 00:14:47,800 | 00:14:49,066 | I can't even get this fucking thing out of here. | I can't even get this fucking thing out of here. |
458 | 00:14:49,100 | 00:14:50,133 | Step away! | Step away! |
459 | 00:14:50,166 | 00:14:51,266 | Hey, hey, hey! | Hey, hey, hey! |
460 | 00:14:51,300 | 00:14:52,133 | Leave him. | Leave him. |
461 | 00:14:52,166 | 00:14:53,500 | This has nothing to do with them, okay! | This has nothing to do with them, okay! |
462 | 00:14:53,533 | 00:14:54,400 | We're going to let them go, | We're going to let them go, |
463 | 00:14:54,433 | 00:14:55,467 | and you and I are going to clear this up. | and you and I are going to clear this up. |
464 | 00:14:55,500 | 00:14:56,700 | This is between me and Gordana! | This is between me and Gordana! |
465 | 00:14:56,734 | 00:14:57,900 | She's not Gordana, your wife is dead. | She's not Gordana, your wife is dead. |
466 | 00:14:57,934 | 00:14:58,834 | You killed her! | You killed her! |
467 | 00:14:58,867 | 00:14:59,867 | No, you killed her! | No, you killed her! |
468 | 00:14:59,900 | 00:15:01,800 | [yells in foreign language] | [yells in foreign language] |
469 | 00:15:01,834 | 00:15:03,133 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
470 | 00:15:03,166 | 00:15:04,066 | Oh God! | Oh God! |
471 | 00:15:05,600 | 00:15:06,600 | You. | You. |
472 | 00:15:06,633 | 00:15:08,200 | Gordana. | Gordana. |
473 | 00:15:08,233 | 00:15:10,700 | You can be my new target, yes? | You can be my new target, yes? |
474 | 00:15:10,734 | 00:15:11,934 | I'm not Gordana. | I'm not Gordana. |
475 | 00:15:11,967 | 00:15:14,100 | You are Gordana, you make me great again! | You are Gordana, you make me great again! |
476 | 00:15:14,133 | 00:15:15,100 | Please just let us go. | Please just let us go. |
477 | 00:15:15,133 | 00:15:16,200 | -Please -Let you go? | -Please -Let you go? |
478 | 00:15:16,233 | 00:15:17,467 | I just got you back, Gordana. | I just got you back, Gordana. |
479 | 00:15:17,500 | 00:15:19,600 | -I'm not Gordana. -Yes you are! | -I'm not Gordana. -Yes you are! |
480 | 00:15:19,633 | 00:15:21,667 | Put your arms out for me, Gordana! | Put your arms out for me, Gordana! |
481 | 00:15:21,700 | 00:15:22,934 | I can't. | I can't. |
482 | 00:15:22,967 | 00:15:23,934 | Are you scared? | Are you scared? |
483 | 00:15:23,967 | 00:15:25,166 | Are you scared, Gordana? | Are you scared, Gordana? |
484 | 00:15:27,333 | 00:15:28,500 | Please don't be scared. | Please don't be scared. |
485 | 00:15:29,433 | 00:15:31,166 | You're on Scare Tactics. | You're on Scare Tactics. |
486 | 00:15:31,200 | 00:15:32,967 | [whines] | [whines] |
487 | 00:15:33,066 | 00:15:34,834 | Your friend Hamza set you up. | Your friend Hamza set you up. |
488 | 00:15:37,166 | 00:15:38,100 | What? | What? |
489 | 00:15:38,133 | 00:15:41,700 | [laughs] Oh my God! | [laughs] Oh my God! |
490 | 00:15:41,734 | 00:15:42,834 | I was terrified. | I was terrified. |
491 | 00:15:44,066 | 00:15:46,066 | Like if he thinks I'm his wife, then I'm dead. | Like if he thinks I'm his wife, then I'm dead. |
492 | 00:15:46,066 | 00:15:47,467 | [laughs] | [laughs] |
493 | 00:15:47,500 | 00:15:49,367 | So what did you think of your friend's acting? | So what did you think of your friend's acting? |
494 | 00:15:49,400 | 00:15:51,700 | Oh, he's pretty good. [laughs] | Oh, he's pretty good. [laughs] |
495 | 00:15:51,734 | 00:15:52,734 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
496 | 00:15:54,967 | 00:15:56,133 | Funny thing is, | Funny thing is, |
497 | 00:15:56,166 | 00:15:58,133 | right after Maria found out Hamza set her up | right after Maria found out Hamza set her up |
498 | 00:15:58,166 | 00:16:01,100 | she wanted to be a knife thrower. | she wanted to be a knife thrower. |
499 | 00:16:01,133 | 00:16:02,133 | Coming up: | Coming up: |
500 | 00:16:02,166 | 00:16:03,400 | This is like my first time | This is like my first time |
501 | 00:16:03,433 | 00:16:05,300 | I'm going out on a date with someone. | I'm going out on a date with someone. |
502 | 00:16:05,333 | 00:16:07,100 | I love so much my daughters. | I love so much my daughters. |
503 | 00:16:07,133 | 00:16:08,667 | I want everything for them. | I want everything for them. |
504 | 00:16:08,700 | 00:16:10,800 | A blind date from heaven | A blind date from heaven |
505 | 00:16:10,834 | 00:16:12,300 | leads to a night in hell. | leads to a night in hell. |
506 | 00:16:13,166 | 00:16:14,867 | Come in, come in. | Come in, come in. |
507 | 00:16:14,900 | 00:16:16,100 | [chuckles] | [chuckles] |
508 | 00:16:16,133 | 00:16:18,533 | I'm so flattered your first date is with me. | I'm so flattered your first date is with me. |
509 | 00:16:18,567 | 00:16:19,467 | And me. | And me. |
510 | 00:16:19,500 | 00:16:20,400 | No it's with me. | No it's with me. |
511 | 00:16:20,433 | 00:16:23,433 | [suspenseful music] | [suspenseful music] |
512 | 00:16:25,633 | 00:16:29,400 | [suspenseful music] | [suspenseful music] |
513 | 00:16:29,433 | 00:16:31,767 | Let's get things started with Pratik. | Let's get things started with Pratik. |
514 | 00:16:31,800 | 00:16:34,800 | Pratik's friend Josh set him up on a blind date. | Pratik's friend Josh set him up on a blind date. |
515 | 00:16:34,834 | 00:16:38,367 | He's always kind of had that practical joke side of him. | He's always kind of had that practical joke side of him. |
516 | 00:16:38,400 | 00:16:40,233 | I always told him, I'd get him back. | I always told him, I'd get him back. |
517 | 00:16:40,266 | 00:16:42,467 | I'm hoping for a really scared look, | I'm hoping for a really scared look, |
518 | 00:16:42,500 | 00:16:44,367 | and just shock. | and just shock. |
519 | 00:16:44,400 | 00:16:45,967 | Now about this date, Pratik. | Now about this date, Pratik. |
520 | 00:16:46,066 | 00:16:49,100 | I bet you were hoping to meet a girl with a nice pair. | I bet you were hoping to meet a girl with a nice pair. |
521 | 00:16:49,133 | 00:16:51,934 | Well, this girl is a nice pair. | Well, this girl is a nice pair. |
522 | 00:16:51,967 | 00:16:53,100 | You'll see what I mean. | You'll see what I mean. |
523 | 00:16:53,967 | 00:16:56,300 | [suspenseful music] | [suspenseful music] |
524 | 00:16:56,333 | 00:16:57,633 | I'm glad you came. | I'm glad you came. |
525 | 00:16:57,667 | 00:16:59,467 | Tell me about yourself, Pratik. | Tell me about yourself, Pratik. |
526 | 00:16:59,500 | 00:17:01,066 | I don't... | I don't... |
527 | 00:17:01,066 | 00:17:03,400 | This is my first time I'm going on a date with someone. | This is my first time I'm going on a date with someone. |
528 | 00:17:03,433 | 00:17:05,166 | I love so much my daughters. | I love so much my daughters. |
529 | 00:17:05,200 | 00:17:07,066 | I want everything for them. | I want everything for them. |
530 | 00:17:07,100 | 00:17:09,233 | My daughter Anastasia, | My daughter Anastasia, |
531 | 00:17:09,266 | 00:17:12,233 | ah, she is the light of my life. | ah, she is the light of my life. |
532 | 00:17:12,266 | 00:17:13,767 | Wait there, okay. | Wait there, okay. |
533 | 00:17:15,266 | 00:17:16,066 | Alright. | Alright. |
534 | 00:17:16,100 | 00:17:18,900 | Ah, come in, come in! | Ah, come in, come in! |
535 | 00:17:18,934 | 00:17:21,200 | [chuckles] | [chuckles] |
536 | 00:17:24,967 | 00:17:26,633 | Here, let me move this chair. | Here, let me move this chair. |
537 | 00:17:26,667 | 00:17:27,633 | -Hi. -Hi there. | -Hi. -Hi there. |
538 | 00:17:27,667 | 00:17:28,633 | There you go. | There you go. |
539 | 00:17:28,667 | 00:17:30,567 | -I'm Pratik. -Hi, Anastasia. | -I'm Pratik. -Hi, Anastasia. |
540 | 00:17:30,600 | 00:17:32,400 | [father] Pratik and Anastasia! | [father] Pratik and Anastasia! |
541 | 00:17:32,433 | 00:17:33,533 | -Andreana. -Hi Pratik, | -Andreana. -Hi Pratik, |
542 | 00:17:33,567 | 00:17:34,633 | -nice to meet you. -Pratik, | -nice to meet you. -Pratik, |
543 | 00:17:34,667 | 00:17:36,367 | do you like the dress? | do you like the dress? |
544 | 00:17:36,400 | 00:17:39,066 | -Show the dress! [laughs] -It's a beautiful dress. | -Show the dress! [laughs] -It's a beautiful dress. |
545 | 00:17:41,467 | 00:17:42,300 | Please, sit. | Please, sit. |
546 | 00:17:43,633 | 00:17:45,133 | I'm going to leave you for a little bit. | I'm going to leave you for a little bit. |
547 | 00:17:45,166 | 00:17:46,233 | Get to know eachother. | Get to know eachother. |
548 | 00:17:46,266 | 00:17:47,567 | Okay, be good, ja? | Okay, be good, ja? |
549 | 00:17:48,667 | 00:17:49,467 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
550 | 00:17:49,500 | 00:17:52,133 | [dramatic music] | [dramatic music] |
551 | 00:17:56,100 | 00:17:58,166 | Like, what do you do? | Like, what do you do? |
552 | 00:17:58,200 | 00:18:00,367 | I love music and I like | I love music and I like |
553 | 00:18:00,400 | 00:18:02,967 | floral arranging and stuff like that. | floral arranging and stuff like that. |
554 | 00:18:03,066 | 00:18:04,367 | [sneezes] | [sneezes] |
555 | 00:18:04,400 | 00:18:07,800 | -Ugh, disgusting. -You're disgusting. | -Ugh, disgusting. -You're disgusting. |
556 | 00:18:07,834 | 00:18:09,066 | Stop touching me! | Stop touching me! |
557 | 00:18:09,100 | 00:18:11,633 | You're like a cyst that I wanna lance! | You're like a cyst that I wanna lance! |
558 | 00:18:11,667 | 00:18:12,667 | My whole life! | My whole life! |
559 | 00:18:12,700 | 00:18:14,400 | Stop it! | Stop it! |
560 | 00:18:14,433 | 00:18:16,800 | I'm so flattered your first date is with me. | I'm so flattered your first date is with me. |
561 | 00:18:16,834 | 00:18:17,633 | And me. | And me. |
562 | 00:18:17,667 | 00:18:18,567 | No, it's with me. | No, it's with me. |
563 | 00:18:18,600 | 00:18:20,200 | It's not with you, it's with me. | It's not with you, it's with me. |
564 | 00:18:20,233 | 00:18:22,133 | Do you like making out? | Do you like making out? |
565 | 00:18:24,066 | 00:18:24,834 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
566 | 00:18:26,300 | 00:18:28,967 | I am not gonna watch you make out. | I am not gonna watch you make out. |
567 | 00:18:29,066 | 00:18:30,066 | I hate you! | I hate you! |
568 | 00:18:30,066 | 00:18:31,233 | I hate you! [struggled yell] Stop! | I hate you! [struggled yell] Stop! |
569 | 00:18:31,266 | 00:18:33,066 | I should have eaten you in the womb! | I should have eaten you in the womb! |
570 | 00:18:33,066 | 00:18:34,367 | Ugh, I hate you! [choking] | Ugh, I hate you! [choking] |
571 | 00:18:34,400 | 00:18:35,467 | -Excuse me? -Go to sleep! | -Excuse me? -Go to sleep! |
572 | 00:18:35,500 | 00:18:36,400 | No! | No! |
573 | 00:18:36,433 | 00:18:37,734 | It'll just be a second! | It'll just be a second! |
574 | 00:18:37,767 | 00:18:39,166 | Go to sleep! | Go to sleep! |
575 | 00:18:39,200 | 00:18:40,066 | Stop it. | Stop it. |
576 | 00:18:42,367 | 00:18:43,533 | [sighs] Sorry. | [sighs] Sorry. |
577 | 00:18:43,567 | 00:18:45,367 | What's going on? | What's going on? |
578 | 00:18:45,400 | 00:18:46,600 | What's happening? | What's happening? |
579 | 00:18:46,633 | 00:18:48,233 | What have you done to my daughters? | What have you done to my daughters? |
580 | 00:18:49,600 | 00:18:51,166 | Anastasia asked me if I | Anastasia asked me if I |
581 | 00:18:53,066 | 00:18:54,200 | like to make out, but... | like to make out, but... |
582 | 00:18:54,233 | 00:18:56,467 | He thinks I'm a monster! | He thinks I'm a monster! |
583 | 00:18:56,500 | 00:18:58,767 | No, I don't think you're a monster! | No, I don't think you're a monster! |
584 | 00:18:58,800 | 00:19:00,633 | I want to marry him, daddy. | I want to marry him, daddy. |
585 | 00:19:01,500 | 00:19:03,333 | Stand on your feet. | Stand on your feet. |
586 | 00:19:03,367 | 00:19:05,367 | Andre, give me the ring. | Andre, give me the ring. |
587 | 00:19:05,400 | 00:19:07,467 | [whines] | [whines] |
588 | 00:19:09,233 | 00:19:11,066 | You put this ring to her hand now. | You put this ring to her hand now. |
589 | 00:19:11,066 | 00:19:12,367 | [squeals] Pratik. | [squeals] Pratik. |
590 | 00:19:12,400 | 00:19:14,100 | -Can I talk to my parents? -Take the ring. | -Can I talk to my parents? -Take the ring. |
591 | 00:19:14,133 | 00:19:14,967 | Take it. | Take it. |
592 | 00:19:16,400 | 00:19:17,567 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
593 | 00:19:17,600 | 00:19:18,834 | Come on! | Come on! |
594 | 00:19:18,867 | 00:19:20,233 | You want to be happy, get down on your knee! | You want to be happy, get down on your knee! |
595 | 00:19:25,800 | 00:19:26,734 | Will you marry me? | Will you marry me? |
596 | 00:19:26,767 | 00:19:27,600 | Yes! | Yes! |
597 | 00:19:29,433 | 00:19:31,934 | [father chuckles] | [father chuckles] |
598 | 00:19:31,967 | 00:19:33,967 | We go to Moscow tonight! | We go to Moscow tonight! |
599 | 00:19:34,066 | 00:19:36,333 | [tense music] | [tense music] |
600 | 00:19:36,367 | 00:19:37,467 | The wedding is tonight. | The wedding is tonight. |
601 | 00:19:37,500 | 00:19:38,533 | -We go to airport... -Uh, can I | -We go to airport... -Uh, can I |
602 | 00:19:38,567 | 00:19:39,900 | can we go to India first? | can we go to India first? |
603 | 00:19:39,934 | 00:19:41,600 | -After. -No. | -After. -No. |
604 | 00:19:41,633 | 00:19:44,066 | We go tonight, wedding tomorrow. | We go tonight, wedding tomorrow. |
605 | 00:19:44,100 | 00:19:45,300 | [Anastasia] And then tomorrow night | [Anastasia] And then tomorrow night |
606 | 00:19:45,333 | 00:19:47,900 | we start our family! | we start our family! |
607 | 00:19:47,934 | 00:19:49,900 | This is like so fast. | This is like so fast. |
608 | 00:19:49,934 | 00:19:52,433 | I'm just, really scared right now. | I'm just, really scared right now. |
609 | 00:19:52,467 | 00:19:54,233 | Have you changed your mind? | Have you changed your mind? |
610 | 00:19:54,266 | 00:19:55,433 | No! | No! |
611 | 00:19:55,467 | 00:19:57,133 | He's changing his mind! [sobbing] | He's changing his mind! [sobbing] |
612 | 00:19:57,166 | 00:19:58,500 | -Hey. -I'm not. | -Hey. -I'm not. |
613 | 00:19:59,934 | 00:20:01,567 | Do you want to marry my daughter, yes or no? | Do you want to marry my daughter, yes or no? |
614 | 00:20:01,600 | 00:20:04,300 | I think it's too soon to decide for me. | I think it's too soon to decide for me. |
615 | 00:20:04,333 | 00:20:06,333 | Be a man and say no! | Be a man and say no! |
616 | 00:20:07,266 | 00:20:08,433 | No. | No. |
617 | 00:20:08,467 | 00:20:10,667 | Okay, then I have another choice for you. | Okay, then I have another choice for you. |
618 | 00:20:10,700 | 00:20:12,500 | I am going to put you... | I am going to put you... |
619 | 00:20:17,367 | 00:20:18,967 | On Scare Tactics. | On Scare Tactics. |
620 | 00:20:20,834 | 00:20:23,200 | Your friend Josh set you up. | Your friend Josh set you up. |
621 | 00:20:25,033 | 00:20:27,100 | [laughs] | [laughs] |
622 | 00:20:30,233 | 00:20:31,066 | Aw! | Aw! |
623 | 00:20:35,467 | 00:20:38,934 | [playful laughter] | [playful laughter] |
624 | 00:20:38,967 | 00:20:40,133 | I deserve it. | I deserve it. |
625 | 00:20:40,166 | 00:20:42,533 | Oh! [chuckles] | Oh! [chuckles] |
626 | 00:20:42,567 | 00:20:45,633 | Thank you very much, for the roller coaster ride. | Thank you very much, for the roller coaster ride. |
627 | 00:20:48,000 | 00:20:49,233 | That's it for now. | That's it for now. |
628 | 00:20:49,266 | 00:20:51,333 | 'Till next time, watch your backs, people. | 'Till next time, watch your backs, people. |
629 | 00:20:51,367 | 00:20:53,300 | Or this could happen to you. | Or this could happen to you. |
630 | 00:20:53,333 | 00:20:55,633 | [screaming] | [screaming] |
631 | 00:20:59,100 | 00:21:00,200 | [wailing] | [wailing] |
632 | 00:21:00,233 | 00:21:01,066 | Fucking bitch! | Fucking bitch! |
633 | 00:21:01,100 | 00:21:02,166 | They're all laughing! | They're all laughing! |
634 | 00:21:02,200 | 00:21:03,867 | No, no, no, no, no, no. | No, no, no, no, no, no. |
635 | 00:21:03,900 | 00:21:05,367 | I should have eaten you in the womb! | I should have eaten you in the womb! |
636 | 00:21:05,400 | 00:21:06,867 | -Ugh I hate you! -Excuse me? | -Ugh I hate you! -Excuse me? |
637 | 00:21:06,900 | 00:21:08,166 | We go to Moscow tonight! | We go to Moscow tonight! |
638 | 00:21:08,200 | 00:21:11,166 | This is like, so fast, and I'm just | This is like, so fast, and I'm just |
639 | 00:21:11,200 | 00:21:12,934 | really scared right now. | really scared right now. |
640 | 00:21:12,967 | 00:21:14,200 | -Oh my God. -Oh my God, | -Oh my God. -Oh my God, |
641 | 00:21:14,233 | 00:21:15,100 | We gotta get him down, we gotta get him down! | We gotta get him down, we gotta get him down! |
642 | 00:21:15,133 | 00:21:16,433 | Hamza! | Hamza! |
643 | 00:21:16,467 | 00:21:17,367 | Oh my God. | Oh my God. |
644 | 00:21:17,400 | 00:21:19,100 | Oh my God, Hamza, are you okay? | Oh my God, Hamza, are you okay? |
645 | 00:21:19,133 | 00:21:20,900 | [yells in foreign language] | [yells in foreign language] |
646 | 00:21:20,934 | 00:21:23,934 | -Oh my God! -[female] Oh God! | -Oh my God! -[female] Oh God! |
647 | 00:21:23,967 | 00:21:24,800 | See ya! | See ya! |
648 | 00:21:26,367 | 00:21:29,266 | [Mysterious music] | [Mysterious music] |