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# | Start | End | Original | Translated |
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1 | 00:00:10,967 | 00:00:13,333 | It's a family plot, | It's a family plot, |
2 | 00:00:13,367 | 00:00:15,300 | we found a dead chicken on one of the graves | we found a dead chicken on one of the graves |
3 | 00:00:15,333 | 00:00:16,500 | [screams] | [screams] |
4 | 00:00:16,533 | 00:00:17,767 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
5 | 00:00:17,800 | 00:00:19,767 | Do you wanna come with me to the spirit world? | Do you wanna come with me to the spirit world? |
6 | 00:00:19,800 | 00:00:21,367 | Oh God! | Oh God! |
7 | 00:00:21,867 | 00:00:24,266 | The interesting thing about the Dayton Fly, | The interesting thing about the Dayton Fly, |
8 | 00:00:24,300 | 00:00:25,700 | is that they're carnivorous. | is that they're carnivorous. |
9 | 00:00:25,734 | 00:00:26,567 | Oh, for real? | Oh, for real? |
10 | 00:00:28,200 | 00:00:30,667 | [screams] | [screams] |
11 | 00:00:30,700 | 00:00:33,467 | Today is my daughter Olivia's fifth birthday party. | Today is my daughter Olivia's fifth birthday party. |
12 | 00:00:33,500 | 00:00:34,767 | You're gonna be doing a clown show. | You're gonna be doing a clown show. |
13 | 00:00:34,800 | 00:00:37,066 | There's no party, he's fucking crazy. | There's no party, he's fucking crazy. |
14 | 00:00:39,000 | 00:00:42,333 | [screams] Oh my God. | [screams] Oh my God. |
15 | 00:00:42,367 | 00:00:44,266 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
16 | 00:00:44,300 | 00:00:46,300 | [screams] | [screams] |
17 | 00:00:46,333 | 00:00:47,133 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
18 | 00:00:47,166 | 00:00:48,200 | [screams] | [screams] |
19 | 00:00:48,233 | 00:00:49,367 | Do it again! | Do it again! |
20 | 00:00:50,700 | 00:00:52,200 | Fear is funny. | Fear is funny. |
21 | 00:00:57,600 | 00:00:59,266 | Whassup, people!? | Whassup, people!? |
22 | 00:00:59,300 | 00:01:00,800 | I hope you're sitting down. | I hope you're sitting down. |
23 | 00:01:00,834 | 00:01:02,834 | 'Cause watching TV when you're standing up | 'Cause watching TV when you're standing up |
24 | 00:01:02,867 | 00:01:04,266 | is very uncomfortable. | is very uncomfortable. |
25 | 00:01:04,300 | 00:01:06,133 | It's time for Scare Tactics! | It's time for Scare Tactics! |
26 | 00:01:06,166 | 00:01:07,533 | Let's get it started. | Let's get it started. |
27 | 00:01:07,567 | 00:01:09,767 | Say hi to our new friend, Christina. | Say hi to our new friend, Christina. |
28 | 00:01:09,800 | 00:01:12,367 | Christina's pal Daniel loves her so much, | Christina's pal Daniel loves her so much, |
29 | 00:01:12,400 | 00:01:13,533 | that he got her a position | that he got her a position |
30 | 00:01:13,567 | 00:01:15,600 | as a security guard at a cemetery. | as a security guard at a cemetery. |
31 | 00:01:15,633 | 00:01:17,133 | What a pal! | What a pal! |
32 | 00:01:17,166 | 00:01:19,100 | I've known Christina for probably eight years now, | I've known Christina for probably eight years now, |
33 | 00:01:19,133 | 00:01:21,567 | and throughout the years she's just | and throughout the years she's just |
34 | 00:01:21,600 | 00:01:23,700 | the feistiest girl I know by far. | the feistiest girl I know by far. |
35 | 00:01:23,734 | 00:01:24,867 | She's a crazy girl. | She's a crazy girl. |
36 | 00:01:24,900 | 00:01:26,300 | This is gonna be good. | This is gonna be good. |
37 | 00:01:26,333 | 00:01:28,066 | And don't worry Christina, | And don't worry Christina, |
38 | 00:01:28,066 | 00:01:29,900 | if you and your coworker get lonely, | if you and your coworker get lonely, |
39 | 00:01:29,934 | 00:01:32,066 | I know there are lots of crazy zombies | I know there are lots of crazy zombies |
40 | 00:01:32,100 | 00:01:35,066 | who will be more than happy to join you. | who will be more than happy to join you. |
41 | 00:01:35,066 | 00:01:35,900 | Enjoy! | Enjoy! |
42 | 00:01:40,400 | 00:01:41,767 | [Christina] Is this a cemetery? | [Christina] Is this a cemetery? |
43 | 00:01:41,800 | 00:01:42,967 | [security guard] Yeah. | [security guard] Yeah. |
44 | 00:01:43,066 | 00:01:43,834 | Hop in. | Hop in. |
45 | 00:01:46,467 | 00:01:48,834 | It's a family plot. | It's a family plot. |
46 | 00:01:48,867 | 00:01:51,066 | And it's a family from Haiti. | And it's a family from Haiti. |
47 | 00:01:51,066 | 00:01:52,066 | Oh. | Oh. |
48 | 00:01:52,066 | 00:01:54,300 | I think it's been here since the 1830s, actually. | I think it's been here since the 1830s, actually. |
49 | 00:01:54,333 | 00:01:57,500 | We've had a lot of problems with teenagers, primarily. | We've had a lot of problems with teenagers, primarily. |
50 | 00:01:57,533 | 00:01:58,467 | Do they come here and-- | Do they come here and-- |
51 | 00:01:58,500 | 00:02:00,166 | Come here, drink, | Come here, drink, |
52 | 00:02:01,133 | 00:02:02,867 | vandalize, there's been a lot of vandalizing. | vandalize, there's been a lot of vandalizing. |
53 | 00:02:02,900 | 00:02:06,133 | Last week we found a dead chicken | Last week we found a dead chicken |
54 | 00:02:06,166 | 00:02:07,066 | on one of the graves. | on one of the graves. |
55 | 00:02:07,066 | 00:02:07,934 | Really? | Really? |
56 | 00:02:07,967 | 00:02:08,800 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
57 | 00:02:08,834 | 00:02:10,066 | Oh my gosh. | Oh my gosh. |
58 | 00:02:10,066 | 00:02:11,066 | So, you know, a few different things. | So, you know, a few different things. |
59 | 00:02:11,066 | 00:02:12,533 | That's kinda creepy. | That's kinda creepy. |
60 | 00:02:12,567 | 00:02:14,100 | This is what we use to log. | This is what we use to log. |
61 | 00:02:14,133 | 00:02:14,967 | Okay. | Okay. |
62 | 00:02:15,066 | 00:02:15,967 | So just press the red button, | So just press the red button, |
63 | 00:02:16,066 | 00:02:16,800 | Okay. | Okay. |
64 | 00:02:16,834 | 00:02:17,800 | And just describe what you see. | And just describe what you see. |
65 | 00:02:17,834 | 00:02:18,834 | Oh, shit. | Oh, shit. |
66 | 00:02:18,867 | 00:02:19,700 | Oh my God. | Oh my God. |
67 | 00:02:22,300 | 00:02:23,700 | We're spotting a homeless person, | We're spotting a homeless person, |
68 | 00:02:23,734 | 00:02:25,934 | oh my gosh, he's sprinkling something on a grave. | oh my gosh, he's sprinkling something on a grave. |
69 | 00:02:26,900 | 00:02:28,400 | [security guard] God's sake. | [security guard] God's sake. |
70 | 00:02:29,433 | 00:02:30,367 | He's sprinkling... | He's sprinkling... |
71 | 00:02:32,934 | 00:02:34,066 | -Oh my God-- -Why's he-- | -Oh my God-- -Why's he-- |
72 | 00:02:34,066 | 00:02:35,266 | He's walking away now. | He's walking away now. |
73 | 00:02:36,767 | 00:02:38,100 | Alright, I'm gonna go check it out. | Alright, I'm gonna go check it out. |
74 | 00:02:38,133 | 00:02:39,066 | How do I talk to you? | How do I talk to you? |
75 | 00:02:39,066 | 00:02:40,300 | Okay, so press the button, | Okay, so press the button, |
76 | 00:02:40,333 | 00:02:41,400 | check, check, check. | check, check, check. |
77 | 00:02:41,433 | 00:02:42,233 | Did you hear me? | Did you hear me? |
78 | 00:02:42,266 | 00:02:43,066 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
79 | 00:02:43,100 | 00:02:43,934 | If you see anything, let me know. | If you see anything, let me know. |
80 | 00:02:43,967 | 00:02:44,867 | Coolio. | Coolio. |
81 | 00:02:44,900 | 00:02:45,700 | Okay? I'll be right back. | Okay? I'll be right back. |
82 | 00:02:45,734 | 00:02:46,567 | Okay. | Okay. |
83 | 00:02:49,734 | 00:02:52,934 | [spooky sound effect] | [spooky sound effect] |
84 | 00:03:00,100 | 00:03:01,533 | There's someone walking back. | There's someone walking back. |
85 | 00:03:02,667 | 00:03:03,533 | [security guard] Is it the guy? | [security guard] Is it the guy? |
86 | 00:03:03,567 | 00:03:05,467 | Girl, girl, girl. | Girl, girl, girl. |
87 | 00:03:05,500 | 00:03:06,934 | She's circling round all the gravestones | She's circling round all the gravestones |
88 | 00:03:06,967 | 00:03:09,600 | like she's doing a spell or something. | like she's doing a spell or something. |
89 | 00:03:09,633 | 00:03:10,734 | [chanting in an ancient language] | [chanting in an ancient language] |
90 | 00:03:10,767 | 00:03:11,667 | [security guard] Like a what? | [security guard] Like a what? |
91 | 00:03:11,700 | 00:03:12,900 | Hold on, I'm coming back, okay? | Hold on, I'm coming back, okay? |
92 | 00:03:12,934 | 00:03:14,133 | I'm just up the path, I'll be right back. | I'm just up the path, I'll be right back. |
93 | 00:03:14,166 | 00:03:15,734 | I can't describe this, come here! | I can't describe this, come here! |
94 | 00:03:15,767 | 00:03:17,600 | [chanting in an ancient language] | [chanting in an ancient language] |
95 | 00:03:17,633 | 00:03:19,867 | She's singing, she's saying a chant. | She's singing, she's saying a chant. |
96 | 00:03:22,667 | 00:03:23,867 | Where are you? | Where are you? |
97 | 00:03:23,900 | 00:03:26,100 | [security guard] I was up the path, hold on. | [security guard] I was up the path, hold on. |
98 | 00:03:26,133 | 00:03:28,533 | She's walking back now, walking out of the grave. | She's walking back now, walking out of the grave. |
99 | 00:03:28,567 | 00:03:30,100 | Hurry, hurry, hurry! | Hurry, hurry, hurry! |
100 | 00:03:30,133 | 00:03:31,533 | [security guard] Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming. | [security guard] Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming. |
101 | 00:03:31,567 | 00:03:32,834 | Where are you? | Where are you? |
102 | 00:03:32,867 | 00:03:33,667 | [startling noise] | [startling noise] |
103 | 00:03:33,700 | 00:03:34,667 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
104 | 00:03:34,700 | 00:03:35,500 | Did I miss her? | Did I miss her? |
105 | 00:03:35,533 | 00:03:36,367 | What happened? | What happened? |
106 | 00:03:36,400 | 00:03:37,300 | She's right there, she went that way. | She's right there, she went that way. |
107 | 00:03:37,333 | 00:03:38,300 | Okay. | Okay. |
108 | 00:03:38,333 | 00:03:41,900 | She looked very, like, from the old witchcraft. | She looked very, like, from the old witchcraft. |
109 | 00:03:41,934 | 00:03:42,734 | Come on. | Come on. |
110 | 00:03:42,767 | 00:03:43,967 | Yeah, like Voodoo! | Yeah, like Voodoo! |
111 | 00:03:44,066 | 00:03:45,433 | I'll check it out, where did she go? | I'll check it out, where did she go? |
112 | 00:03:45,467 | 00:03:46,667 | Like, over-- | Like, over-- |
113 | 00:03:46,700 | 00:03:49,133 | Just stay in here, keep the doors locked. | Just stay in here, keep the doors locked. |
114 | 00:03:49,166 | 00:03:50,367 | Be careful. | Be careful. |
115 | 00:03:50,400 | 00:03:51,367 | [security guard] Can you just point out to me | [security guard] Can you just point out to me |
116 | 00:03:51,400 | 00:03:52,500 | where she was? | where she was? |
117 | 00:03:52,533 | 00:03:54,100 | Walk right, | Walk right, |
118 | 00:03:56,133 | 00:03:57,066 | This? | This? |
119 | 00:03:57,100 | 00:03:58,367 | More, more, more, more, more, | More, more, more, more, more, |
120 | 00:03:58,400 | 00:04:00,367 | more, more. | more, more. |
121 | 00:04:00,400 | 00:04:02,166 | Right there, she was in front of it. | Right there, she was in front of it. |
122 | 00:04:02,200 | 00:04:04,533 | Looks like there's blood all over here. | Looks like there's blood all over here. |
123 | 00:04:04,567 | 00:04:07,500 | [sinister whispering] | [sinister whispering] |
124 | 00:04:07,533 | 00:04:08,767 | [groaning] | [groaning] |
125 | 00:04:08,800 | 00:04:10,300 | [security guard screams] | [security guard screams] |
126 | 00:04:10,333 | 00:04:11,166 | Christina! | Christina! |
127 | 00:04:11,200 | 00:04:12,633 | Christina! | Christina! |
128 | 00:04:12,667 | 00:04:13,867 | Andy! | Andy! |
129 | 00:04:13,900 | 00:04:15,166 | Christina! | Christina! |
130 | 00:04:15,200 | 00:04:16,166 | Aah! | Aah! |
131 | 00:04:16,200 | 00:04:17,500 | Andy! | Andy! |
132 | 00:04:17,533 | 00:04:19,533 | [growling] | [growling] |
133 | 00:04:19,567 | 00:04:20,367 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
134 | 00:04:20,400 | 00:04:21,233 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
135 | 00:04:22,333 | 00:04:23,300 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
136 | 00:04:23,333 | 00:04:24,300 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
137 | 00:04:24,333 | 00:04:25,367 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
138 | 00:04:25,400 | 00:04:26,367 | [screams] | [screams] |
139 | 00:04:26,400 | 00:04:27,967 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
140 | 00:04:28,066 | 00:04:29,633 | [yells] | [yells] |
141 | 00:04:29,667 | 00:04:31,133 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
142 | 00:04:31,166 | 00:04:32,533 | Do you want to come with me to the spirit world? | Do you want to come with me to the spirit world? |
143 | 00:04:32,567 | 00:04:33,800 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
144 | 00:04:33,834 | 00:04:34,700 | I'd like to take you. | I'd like to take you. |
145 | 00:04:34,734 | 00:04:36,066 | No! | No! |
146 | 00:04:36,066 | 00:04:37,266 | No! | No! |
147 | 00:04:37,300 | 00:04:39,233 | I'd like to take you, and put you | I'd like to take you, and put you |
148 | 00:04:39,266 | 00:04:40,734 | on Scare Tactics. | on Scare Tactics. |
149 | 00:04:46,467 | 00:04:48,233 | I'm so scared, oh my God. | I'm so scared, oh my God. |
150 | 00:04:48,266 | 00:04:50,500 | [witchy woman] Your friend Daniel set you up. | [witchy woman] Your friend Daniel set you up. |
151 | 00:04:50,533 | 00:04:51,600 | Oh my God. | Oh my God. |
152 | 00:04:52,066 | 00:04:52,834 | Hey, Tina. | Hey, Tina. |
153 | 00:04:52,867 | 00:04:54,333 | Oh my goodness. | Oh my goodness. |
154 | 00:04:54,367 | 00:04:55,834 | I hate you! | I hate you! |
155 | 00:04:55,867 | 00:04:58,066 | You knew this entire time? | You knew this entire time? |
156 | 00:04:58,066 | 00:05:00,066 | I got you. | I got you. |
157 | 00:05:00,100 | 00:05:01,667 | I've never seen someone scream so loud. | I've never seen someone scream so loud. |
158 | 00:05:01,700 | 00:05:03,734 | Person there, she was throwing chickens at me here, | Person there, she was throwing chickens at me here, |
159 | 00:05:03,767 | 00:05:05,066 | and he was right there, | and he was right there, |
160 | 00:05:05,066 | 00:05:06,367 | what the fuck did you expect me to be doing! | what the fuck did you expect me to be doing! |
161 | 00:05:06,400 | 00:05:08,133 | I need the chicken! | I need the chicken! |
162 | 00:05:08,166 | 00:05:09,967 | I wanted to throw the chicken in your face. | I wanted to throw the chicken in your face. |
163 | 00:05:10,066 | 00:05:12,133 | Oh my God, you guys scared the shit out of me. | Oh my God, you guys scared the shit out of me. |
164 | 00:05:14,767 | 00:05:15,900 | Whoa! | Whoa! |
165 | 00:05:15,934 | 00:05:17,433 | Keep it down Christina! | Keep it down Christina! |
166 | 00:05:17,467 | 00:05:19,633 | All that screaming is gonna wake the dead! | All that screaming is gonna wake the dead! |
167 | 00:05:19,667 | 00:05:21,600 | Oh wait, it already did. | Oh wait, it already did. |
168 | 00:05:22,667 | 00:05:23,567 | Coming up: | Coming up: |
169 | 00:05:23,600 | 00:05:24,900 | Do you believe in fate? | Do you believe in fate? |
170 | 00:05:24,934 | 00:05:25,800 | I believe? | I believe? |
171 | 00:05:25,834 | 00:05:26,734 | Oh, totally. | Oh, totally. |
172 | 00:05:26,767 | 00:05:28,300 | A blind date from heaven | A blind date from heaven |
173 | 00:05:28,333 | 00:05:30,867 | leads to a night in hell. | leads to a night in hell. |
174 | 00:05:30,900 | 00:05:32,567 | Father, son, the holy spirit. | Father, son, the holy spirit. |
175 | 00:05:32,600 | 00:05:35,967 | [yelling in tongues] | [yelling in tongues] |
176 | 00:05:36,066 | 00:05:36,800 | Whoa, hey, hey, hey! | Whoa, hey, hey, hey! |
177 | 00:05:36,834 | 00:05:37,734 | Oh, hey, hey! | Oh, hey, hey! |
178 | 00:05:45,700 | 00:05:48,300 | Say hello to my boy Paolo. | Say hello to my boy Paolo. |
179 | 00:05:48,333 | 00:05:50,734 | Paolo's friend Dave hooked him up on a blind date | Paolo's friend Dave hooked him up on a blind date |
180 | 00:05:50,767 | 00:05:52,400 | with a beautiful woman. | with a beautiful woman. |
181 | 00:05:52,433 | 00:05:55,166 | I wanna set up my friend Paolo on Scare Tactics | I wanna set up my friend Paolo on Scare Tactics |
182 | 00:05:55,200 | 00:05:58,567 | because I know he's always on guard and whatnot, | because I know he's always on guard and whatnot, |
183 | 00:05:58,600 | 00:06:03,166 | and women are usually what lets his guard down. | and women are usually what lets his guard down. |
184 | 00:06:03,200 | 00:06:06,567 | I wanna set him up and see if he can handle it. | I wanna set him up and see if he can handle it. |
185 | 00:06:06,600 | 00:06:08,700 | Now Paolo, this girl's ex boyfriend | Now Paolo, this girl's ex boyfriend |
186 | 00:06:08,734 | 00:06:09,934 | is the jealous type. | is the jealous type. |
187 | 00:06:09,967 | 00:06:12,266 | He's also the Satan-worshiping type. | He's also the Satan-worshiping type. |
188 | 00:06:12,300 | 00:06:14,066 | And if you know what's good for you, | And if you know what's good for you, |
189 | 00:06:14,066 | 00:06:16,633 | you'll be the get the hell out of there ASAP type. | you'll be the get the hell out of there ASAP type. |
190 | 00:06:21,200 | 00:06:22,266 | I saw a picture of you and I thought | I saw a picture of you and I thought |
191 | 00:06:22,300 | 00:06:23,800 | you were absolutely gorgeous | you were absolutely gorgeous |
192 | 00:06:23,834 | 00:06:25,400 | and I wanted to meet you, so, | and I wanted to meet you, so, |
193 | 00:06:25,433 | 00:06:26,367 | -thanks for coming. -Really? | -thanks for coming. -Really? |
194 | 00:06:26,400 | 00:06:27,300 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
195 | 00:06:27,333 | 00:06:28,767 | Alright, well, thank you. | Alright, well, thank you. |
196 | 00:06:28,800 | 00:06:31,600 | Tell me about yourself, what do people say about you? | Tell me about yourself, what do people say about you? |
197 | 00:06:31,633 | 00:06:33,133 | When they see me they say, | When they see me they say, |
198 | 00:06:33,166 | 00:06:35,233 | "Oh, this guy's really the type shy." | "Oh, this guy's really the type shy." |
199 | 00:06:36,467 | 00:06:37,667 | Sorry, "shy type." | Sorry, "shy type." |
200 | 00:06:37,700 | 00:06:39,133 | Now I'm mumbling, you know. | Now I'm mumbling, you know. |
201 | 00:06:39,166 | 00:06:40,600 | [laughs] | [laughs] |
202 | 00:06:40,633 | 00:06:42,467 | seeing how gorgeous you are and I'm talking [laughs] | seeing how gorgeous you are and I'm talking [laughs] |
203 | 00:06:42,500 | 00:06:43,633 | You're so cute. | You're so cute. |
204 | 00:06:43,667 | 00:06:44,900 | I'm talking like I'm-- | I'm talking like I'm-- |
205 | 00:06:44,934 | 00:06:46,767 | No, I'm interested, it's been a long time | No, I'm interested, it's been a long time |
206 | 00:06:46,800 | 00:06:48,433 | since I've gotten to, you know-- | since I've gotten to, you know-- |
207 | 00:06:48,467 | 00:06:49,367 | A conversation-- | A conversation-- |
208 | 00:06:49,400 | 00:06:50,900 | Yeah, chat with a nice guy. | Yeah, chat with a nice guy. |
209 | 00:06:52,467 | 00:06:53,667 | Thank you so much. | Thank you so much. |
210 | 00:06:53,700 | 00:06:55,066 | You up for a good night tonight? | You up for a good night tonight? |
211 | 00:06:55,066 | 00:06:56,567 | Mm-hm, I was looking forward to it. | Mm-hm, I was looking forward to it. |
212 | 00:06:56,600 | 00:06:59,066 | It's already a blast, having a talk with you, | It's already a blast, having a talk with you, |
213 | 00:06:59,066 | 00:07:00,400 | having this fine dinner-- | having this fine dinner-- |
214 | 00:07:00,433 | 00:07:02,300 | Do you want me to tell you a little bit about-- | Do you want me to tell you a little bit about-- |
215 | 00:07:02,333 | 00:07:03,133 | A little bit about yourself? | A little bit about yourself? |
216 | 00:07:03,166 | 00:07:03,967 | Sure, why not. | Sure, why not. |
217 | 00:07:04,066 | 00:07:04,900 | Tit for tat? | Tit for tat? |
218 | 00:07:04,934 | 00:07:05,734 | Yep, sure. | Yep, sure. |
219 | 00:07:05,767 | 00:07:06,967 | Go ahead. | Go ahead. |
220 | 00:07:07,066 | 00:07:09,867 | Well, let me tell you why I'm in this house. | Well, let me tell you why I'm in this house. |
221 | 00:07:09,900 | 00:07:11,700 | I was in a relationship for three years, | I was in a relationship for three years, |
222 | 00:07:11,734 | 00:07:13,633 | I was really young when I met this guy, | I was really young when I met this guy, |
223 | 00:07:13,667 | 00:07:16,867 | and this was his house, and I ended up with it. | and this was his house, and I ended up with it. |
224 | 00:07:16,900 | 00:07:18,300 | So that's why I live here. | So that's why I live here. |
225 | 00:07:18,333 | 00:07:20,834 | [phone rings] | [phone rings] |
226 | 00:07:22,100 | 00:07:23,467 | Do you just wanna wait til that stops? | Do you just wanna wait til that stops? |
227 | 00:07:23,500 | 00:07:25,066 | Would you mind answering it? | Would you mind answering it? |
228 | 00:07:25,100 | 00:07:26,700 | I mean, maybe tell them I'm not here. | I mean, maybe tell them I'm not here. |
229 | 00:07:26,734 | 00:07:28,166 | Whoever it is, I don't care. | Whoever it is, I don't care. |
230 | 00:07:28,200 | 00:07:29,100 | Alright? | Alright? |
231 | 00:07:29,133 | 00:07:30,200 | Yeah, that'd be great, thanks. | Yeah, that'd be great, thanks. |
232 | 00:07:30,233 | 00:07:31,567 | Hello, good evening? | Hello, good evening? |
233 | 00:07:31,600 | 00:07:33,367 | [male voice] Who are you? | [male voice] Who are you? |
234 | 00:07:33,400 | 00:07:34,900 | Carlo. | Carlo. |
235 | 00:07:34,934 | 00:07:35,734 | [male voice] Carlo. | [male voice] Carlo. |
236 | 00:07:35,767 | 00:07:36,967 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
237 | 00:07:37,066 | 00:07:37,834 | [male voice] That's all I need to know. | [male voice] That's all I need to know. |
238 | 00:07:37,867 | 00:07:39,066 | Alright. | Alright. |
239 | 00:07:39,066 | 00:07:41,066 | [male voice] [speaks in tongues] | [male voice] [speaks in tongues] |
240 | 00:07:43,867 | 00:07:45,066 | Who was it? | Who was it? |
241 | 00:07:45,066 | 00:07:46,967 | I don't know I think that was your ex. | I don't know I think that was your ex. |
242 | 00:07:47,066 | 00:07:48,066 | Oh no, that's impossible. | Oh no, that's impossible. |
243 | 00:07:48,100 | 00:07:50,567 | He is away and out of my life. | He is away and out of my life. |
244 | 00:07:50,600 | 00:07:53,066 | Damn, I think he just cursed on me. | Damn, I think he just cursed on me. |
245 | 00:07:53,066 | 00:07:55,166 | That was him, that was a picture of him. | That was him, that was a picture of him. |
246 | 00:07:56,467 | 00:07:58,734 | I don't ever wanna be that girl again. | I don't ever wanna be that girl again. |
247 | 00:07:58,767 | 00:08:02,800 | He believed in some really dark stuff. | He believed in some really dark stuff. |
248 | 00:08:02,834 | 00:08:04,066 | Can I be honest with you? | Can I be honest with you? |
249 | 00:08:04,066 | 00:08:05,233 | Sure. | Sure. |
250 | 00:08:05,266 | 00:08:08,633 | I was basically kept in this house. | I was basically kept in this house. |
251 | 00:08:08,667 | 00:08:11,066 | No, no, so you were just kept in this house? | No, no, so you were just kept in this house? |
252 | 00:08:12,934 | 00:08:13,767 | Okay. | Okay. |
253 | 00:08:15,166 | 00:08:17,066 | Do you believe in fate? | Do you believe in fate? |
254 | 00:08:17,066 | 00:08:17,834 | Do I believe? | Do I believe? |
255 | 00:08:17,867 | 00:08:18,900 | Oh, totally, yep! | Oh, totally, yep! |
256 | 00:08:18,934 | 00:08:19,834 | Do you wanna do something fun? | Do you wanna do something fun? |
257 | 00:08:19,867 | 00:08:21,533 | I can read palms and stuff. | I can read palms and stuff. |
258 | 00:08:21,567 | 00:08:22,400 | No way! | No way! |
259 | 00:08:22,433 | 00:08:23,567 | Yeah! | Yeah! |
260 | 00:08:23,600 | 00:08:24,533 | I've always wanted to try that. | I've always wanted to try that. |
261 | 00:08:24,567 | 00:08:26,066 | Let me see. | Let me see. |
262 | 00:08:26,066 | 00:08:27,700 | This is your life line, so this basically tells you | This is your life line, so this basically tells you |
263 | 00:08:27,734 | 00:08:28,934 | how long you're going to live. | how long you're going to live. |
264 | 00:08:28,967 | 00:08:29,767 | Okay? | Okay? |
265 | 00:08:29,800 | 00:08:31,233 | Okay. | Okay. |
266 | 00:08:31,266 | 00:08:32,100 | Let's try to connect our life lines and see what happens. | Let's try to connect our life lines and see what happens. |
267 | 00:08:32,133 | 00:08:33,333 | Do you feel an energy? | Do you feel an energy? |
268 | 00:08:34,300 | 00:08:35,100 | Yeah! | Yeah! |
269 | 00:08:35,133 | 00:08:35,934 | Can I have a hug? | Can I have a hug? |
270 | 00:08:35,967 | 00:08:36,800 | Yeah, come here. | Yeah, come here. |
271 | 00:08:38,400 | 00:08:40,567 | [screams] | [screams] |
272 | 00:08:42,900 | 00:08:43,900 | Oh, Jesus. | Oh, Jesus. |
273 | 00:08:47,233 | 00:08:48,700 | Oh my God, it's him. | Oh my God, it's him. |
274 | 00:08:48,734 | 00:08:50,166 | It's him, come on. | It's him, come on. |
275 | 00:08:50,200 | 00:08:51,066 | Holy-- | Holy-- |
276 | 00:08:54,467 | 00:08:56,200 | Are you the one they call Carlo? | Are you the one they call Carlo? |
277 | 00:08:57,266 | 00:08:58,066 | Yeah, yeah. | Yeah, yeah. |
278 | 00:08:58,100 | 00:08:58,934 | Or is it Paolo? | Or is it Paolo? |
279 | 00:09:00,900 | 00:09:02,066 | No more lies. | No more lies. |
280 | 00:09:02,100 | 00:09:03,400 | What are you doing here? | What are you doing here? |
281 | 00:09:03,433 | 00:09:04,967 | They said that they got rid of you. | They said that they got rid of you. |
282 | 00:09:05,066 | 00:09:06,467 | No, no, no, no, no, no, no. | No, no, no, no, no, no, no. |
283 | 00:09:07,333 | 00:09:08,867 | You know better than that. | You know better than that. |
284 | 00:09:08,900 | 00:09:11,967 | He's gonna protect me, and you're gonna leave. | He's gonna protect me, and you're gonna leave. |
285 | 00:09:12,066 | 00:09:12,834 | It's true, right? | It's true, right? |
286 | 00:09:14,133 | 00:09:15,400 | You gonna protect her? | You gonna protect her? |
287 | 00:09:15,433 | 00:09:16,700 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
288 | 00:09:16,734 | 00:09:18,066 | Alright. | Alright. |
289 | 00:09:18,100 | 00:09:19,667 | With God. | With God. |
290 | 00:09:19,700 | 00:09:22,767 | You brought a man with a cross into my house? | You brought a man with a cross into my house? |
291 | 00:09:22,800 | 00:09:23,667 | I did. | I did. |
292 | 00:09:23,700 | 00:09:25,200 | God protects him! | God protects him! |
293 | 00:09:26,400 | 00:09:27,200 | Can you-- | Can you-- |
294 | 00:09:27,233 | 00:09:28,166 | Holy snap! | Holy snap! |
295 | 00:09:28,200 | 00:09:29,200 | [ex] Say a prayer. | [ex] Say a prayer. |
296 | 00:09:30,600 | 00:09:33,500 | [both] Father, Son, the Holy Spirit. | [both] Father, Son, the Holy Spirit. |
297 | 00:09:33,533 | 00:09:36,700 | [speaking in tongues] | [speaking in tongues] |
298 | 00:09:43,834 | 00:09:44,667 | Stop it, man. | Stop it, man. |
299 | 00:09:45,734 | 00:09:46,567 | Oh! | Oh! |
300 | 00:09:50,300 | 00:09:51,834 | [ex] I want you to witness the power. | [ex] I want you to witness the power. |
301 | 00:09:55,333 | 00:09:56,166 | No! | No! |
302 | 00:09:58,867 | 00:09:59,667 | [sobbing] | [sobbing] |
303 | 00:09:59,700 | 00:10:01,000 | Oh, hey, hey, hey! | Oh, hey, hey, hey! |
304 | 00:10:01,033 | 00:10:02,033 | Oh, hey, hey, hey! | Oh, hey, hey, hey! |
305 | 00:10:02,066 | 00:10:02,867 | Oh! | Oh! |
306 | 00:10:02,900 | 00:10:03,700 | [cries] | [cries] |
307 | 00:10:03,734 | 00:10:06,066 | [spluttering] | [spluttering] |
308 | 00:10:06,100 | 00:10:07,800 | Do you wanna save her right now? | Do you wanna save her right now? |
309 | 00:10:07,834 | 00:10:09,300 | Oh yeah! | Oh yeah! |
310 | 00:10:09,333 | 00:10:12,233 | Look man, there's blood and everything, holy crap! | Look man, there's blood and everything, holy crap! |
311 | 00:10:12,266 | 00:10:14,767 | [screams] | [screams] |
312 | 00:10:14,800 | 00:10:16,266 | I'm giving you a choice. | I'm giving you a choice. |
313 | 00:10:16,300 | 00:10:17,467 | Will you agree? | Will you agree? |
314 | 00:10:17,500 | 00:10:18,900 | That what? | That what? |
315 | 00:10:18,934 | 00:10:20,066 | [screams] | [screams] |
316 | 00:10:20,100 | 00:10:22,066 | I would agree that what? | I would agree that what? |
317 | 00:10:22,100 | 00:10:24,000 | To go on Scare Tactics. | To go on Scare Tactics. |
318 | 00:10:27,467 | 00:10:28,266 | Surprise. | Surprise. |
319 | 00:10:28,300 | 00:10:29,200 | Whoa! | Whoa! |
320 | 00:10:29,233 | 00:10:30,467 | Your friend Dave set you up. | Your friend Dave set you up. |
321 | 00:10:32,700 | 00:10:34,633 | Freaking Dave, whoa! | Freaking Dave, whoa! |
322 | 00:10:34,667 | 00:10:36,834 | Oh my God. | Oh my God. |
323 | 00:10:36,867 | 00:10:38,467 | You! [laughs] | You! [laughs] |
324 | 00:10:38,500 | 00:10:40,500 | You're gonna need this, bro. | You're gonna need this, bro. |
325 | 00:10:40,533 | 00:10:42,100 | You just gave me, | You just gave me, |
326 | 00:10:42,133 | 00:10:42,934 | that was totally, | that was totally, |
327 | 00:10:42,967 | 00:10:43,867 | oh, amigo, thanks! | oh, amigo, thanks! |
328 | 00:10:45,533 | 00:10:46,667 | I was scared as hell. | I was scared as hell. |
329 | 00:10:46,700 | 00:10:48,266 | Whoa I'm sweating, bro! | Whoa I'm sweating, bro! |
330 | 00:10:48,300 | 00:10:49,100 | Oh my goodness! | Oh my goodness! |
331 | 00:10:49,133 | 00:10:49,934 | Good job! | Good job! |
332 | 00:10:49,967 | 00:10:51,500 | Thank you so much. | Thank you so much. |
333 | 00:10:51,533 | 00:10:52,667 | Hey, whoa. | Hey, whoa. |
334 | 00:10:52,700 | 00:10:54,400 | Whoa, sorry. | Whoa, sorry. |
335 | 00:10:54,433 | 00:10:55,834 | I was joking. | I was joking. |
336 | 00:10:55,867 | 00:10:57,433 | Guys, I'm really sweating, you guys had me! | Guys, I'm really sweating, you guys had me! |
337 | 00:10:57,467 | 00:10:58,567 | Oh my goodness! | Oh my goodness! |
338 | 00:11:00,233 | 00:11:01,433 | Oh, Paolo. | Oh, Paolo. |
339 | 00:11:01,467 | 00:11:03,100 | Next time you go on a blind date, | Next time you go on a blind date, |
340 | 00:11:03,133 | 00:11:05,633 | I'd recommend you bring flowers. | I'd recommend you bring flowers. |
341 | 00:11:05,667 | 00:11:06,667 | And a priest. | And a priest. |
342 | 00:11:07,533 | 00:11:08,934 | Up next: | Up next: |
343 | 00:11:08,967 | 00:11:11,500 | We've actually discovered a new species of fly. | We've actually discovered a new species of fly. |
344 | 00:11:11,533 | 00:11:12,400 | Oh. | Oh. |
345 | 00:11:12,433 | 00:11:13,567 | We're calling it the Amazonian Ash Fly, | We're calling it the Amazonian Ash Fly, |
346 | 00:11:13,600 | 00:11:16,100 | because it was my discovery. | because it was my discovery. |
347 | 00:11:16,133 | 00:11:20,133 | A scientist who still needs to work out the bugs. | A scientist who still needs to work out the bugs. |
348 | 00:11:20,166 | 00:11:22,734 | These flies will go in any orifice. | These flies will go in any orifice. |
349 | 00:11:22,767 | 00:11:24,934 | [screams] | [screams] |
350 | 00:11:33,367 | 00:11:34,734 | I want you all to meet Akim. | I want you all to meet Akim. |
351 | 00:11:35,734 | 00:11:38,834 | Akim's friend Orlando told him he'd be assisting | Akim's friend Orlando told him he'd be assisting |
352 | 00:11:38,867 | 00:11:41,433 | a scientist who works with insects. | a scientist who works with insects. |
353 | 00:11:41,467 | 00:11:43,734 | Hmm, fascinating. | Hmm, fascinating. |
354 | 00:11:43,767 | 00:11:46,266 | I wanna set up my friend Akim on Scare Tactics | I wanna set up my friend Akim on Scare Tactics |
355 | 00:11:46,300 | 00:11:47,967 | just 'cause we're like brothers, I call him my brother. | just 'cause we're like brothers, I call him my brother. |
356 | 00:11:48,066 | 00:11:49,166 | I call him my little brother. | I call him my little brother. |
357 | 00:11:49,200 | 00:11:50,100 | We prank each other all the time! | We prank each other all the time! |
358 | 00:11:50,133 | 00:11:51,367 | [laughs] | [laughs] |
359 | 00:11:51,400 | 00:11:53,233 | That's just part of the relationship. | That's just part of the relationship. |
360 | 00:11:53,266 | 00:11:55,500 | It's gonna be classic, I'm gonna be laughing so hard. | It's gonna be classic, I'm gonna be laughing so hard. |
361 | 00:11:55,533 | 00:11:56,567 | [laughs] | [laughs] |
362 | 00:11:56,600 | 00:11:58,500 | I'm probably not gonna stop laughing til next week. | I'm probably not gonna stop laughing til next week. |
363 | 00:11:58,533 | 00:12:01,200 | Now Akim, you gotta be careful today. | Now Akim, you gotta be careful today. |
364 | 00:12:01,233 | 00:12:02,633 | 'Cause you're gonna be working with some | 'Cause you're gonna be working with some |
365 | 00:12:02,667 | 00:12:04,433 | deadly, meat-eating flies. | deadly, meat-eating flies. |
366 | 00:12:04,467 | 00:12:06,066 | And don't take this the wrong way, | And don't take this the wrong way, |
367 | 00:12:06,066 | 00:12:08,567 | but you look delicious! | but you look delicious! |
368 | 00:12:12,133 | 00:12:13,367 | I'm Dr. Ash. | I'm Dr. Ash. |
369 | 00:12:13,400 | 00:12:15,367 | I'm a scientist whose specialty is insects. | I'm a scientist whose specialty is insects. |
370 | 00:12:15,400 | 00:12:16,367 | Okay. | Okay. |
371 | 00:12:16,400 | 00:12:18,633 | We've actually discovered a new species of fly, | We've actually discovered a new species of fly, |
372 | 00:12:18,667 | 00:12:19,533 | Oh. | Oh. |
373 | 00:12:19,567 | 00:12:20,767 | We're calling it the Amazonian Ash Fly, | We're calling it the Amazonian Ash Fly, |
374 | 00:12:20,800 | 00:12:22,934 | because it was my discovery. | because it was my discovery. |
375 | 00:12:22,967 | 00:12:26,734 | So, I have an assistant, but he's late, as he tends to be, | So, I have an assistant, but he's late, as he tends to be, |
376 | 00:12:26,767 | 00:12:29,433 | so I'm a little bit irritated about that. | so I'm a little bit irritated about that. |
377 | 00:12:29,467 | 00:12:30,934 | Oh, okay. | Oh, okay. |
378 | 00:12:30,967 | 00:12:32,967 | All I'm gonna need you to do is just take a test tube, | All I'm gonna need you to do is just take a test tube, |
379 | 00:12:33,066 | 00:12:34,433 | label each one-- | label each one-- |
380 | 00:12:34,467 | 00:12:35,900 | That's for record purposes, yeah? | That's for record purposes, yeah? |
381 | 00:12:35,934 | 00:12:36,800 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
382 | 00:12:36,834 | 00:12:37,867 | -Awesome! -No problem. | -Awesome! -No problem. |
383 | 00:12:39,066 | 00:12:41,233 | [humming] | [humming] |
384 | 00:12:42,667 | 00:12:44,967 | Oh hey, pleased to meet you, I'm Robert. | Oh hey, pleased to meet you, I'm Robert. |
385 | 00:12:45,066 | 00:12:45,800 | Akim. | Akim. |
386 | 00:12:45,834 | 00:12:46,633 | How's it going? | How's it going? |
387 | 00:12:46,667 | 00:12:47,600 | It's going well. | It's going well. |
388 | 00:12:47,633 | 00:12:48,734 | What's she got you doing? | What's she got you doing? |
389 | 00:12:48,767 | 00:12:52,734 | She was telling me that she had found the Ash Flies in-- | She was telling me that she had found the Ash Flies in-- |
390 | 00:12:52,767 | 00:12:53,900 | What? | What? |
391 | 00:12:53,934 | 00:12:54,734 | Huh? | Huh? |
392 | 00:12:54,767 | 00:12:55,567 | The Ash Flies? | The Ash Flies? |
393 | 00:12:55,600 | 00:12:56,633 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
394 | 00:12:56,667 | 00:12:57,934 | They're actually called the Amazonian Dayton Flies. | They're actually called the Amazonian Dayton Flies. |
395 | 00:12:57,967 | 00:12:58,767 | Oh yeah? | Oh yeah? |
396 | 00:12:58,800 | 00:12:59,734 | After me, yeah. | After me, yeah. |
397 | 00:12:59,767 | 00:13:01,367 | My full name's Robert Dayton. | My full name's Robert Dayton. |
398 | 00:13:01,400 | 00:13:02,200 | Robert Dayton? | Robert Dayton? |
399 | 00:13:02,233 | 00:13:03,433 | Oh, okay. | Oh, okay. |
400 | 00:13:03,467 | 00:13:05,166 | So, I'm the one who found them, so. | So, I'm the one who found them, so. |
401 | 00:13:06,300 | 00:13:07,400 | Come on, I'll show ya. | Come on, I'll show ya. |
402 | 00:13:08,600 | 00:13:09,400 | Ooh. | Ooh. |
403 | 00:13:09,433 | 00:13:10,266 | Yeah, this is them! | Yeah, this is them! |
404 | 00:13:13,400 | 00:13:15,900 | The interesting thing about the Dayton Fly, | The interesting thing about the Dayton Fly, |
405 | 00:13:15,934 | 00:13:17,567 | is that they're carnivorous. | is that they're carnivorous. |
406 | 00:13:17,600 | 00:13:18,433 | Oh, for real? | Oh, for real? |
407 | 00:13:18,467 | 00:13:19,433 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
408 | 00:13:19,467 | 00:13:22,166 | We have been starving these guys for two weeks. | We have been starving these guys for two weeks. |
409 | 00:13:22,200 | 00:13:26,500 | They're very, very hungry. [laughs] | They're very, very hungry. [laughs] |
410 | 00:13:27,767 | 00:13:28,600 | Oh hi, Robert. | Oh hi, Robert. |
411 | 00:13:28,633 | 00:13:30,400 | Nice of you to join us. | Nice of you to join us. |
412 | 00:13:30,433 | 00:13:34,233 | I see Robert's showing you the Ash Fly. | I see Robert's showing you the Ash Fly. |
413 | 00:13:34,266 | 00:13:35,166 | Dayton Fly. | Dayton Fly. |
414 | 00:13:35,200 | 00:13:36,400 | Okay, he's still on this. | Okay, he's still on this. |
415 | 00:13:36,433 | 00:13:38,734 | I went all the way out on that branch | I went all the way out on that branch |
416 | 00:13:38,767 | 00:13:40,367 | to catch this Dayton Fly. | to catch this Dayton Fly. |
417 | 00:13:40,400 | 00:13:43,100 | You were four feet over the ground. | You were four feet over the ground. |
418 | 00:13:43,133 | 00:13:44,667 | Robert, feed 'em in a couple of minutes, | Robert, feed 'em in a couple of minutes, |
419 | 00:13:44,700 | 00:13:46,367 | Akim, let's go back and we'll finish up | Akim, let's go back and we'll finish up |
420 | 00:13:46,400 | 00:13:47,367 | the test tubes and stuff like that, okay? | the test tubes and stuff like that, okay? |
421 | 00:13:47,400 | 00:13:48,600 | Alright, cool. | Alright, cool. |
422 | 00:13:48,633 | 00:13:50,500 | I feel completely unprofessional right now. | I feel completely unprofessional right now. |
423 | 00:13:50,533 | 00:13:52,166 | I'm so sorry. | I'm so sorry. |
424 | 00:13:52,200 | 00:13:54,066 | Don't you think this is an important discovery? | Don't you think this is an important discovery? |
425 | 00:13:54,066 | 00:13:56,467 | It's a brand new species, like you said, right? | It's a brand new species, like you said, right? |
426 | 00:13:56,500 | 00:13:57,433 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
427 | 00:13:57,467 | 00:14:00,133 | [Robert yells] Ah jeez! | [Robert yells] Ah jeez! |
428 | 00:14:00,166 | 00:14:01,200 | He's in trouble! | He's in trouble! |
429 | 00:14:01,233 | 00:14:03,166 | Oh, he's such a klutz. | Oh, he's such a klutz. |
430 | 00:14:03,200 | 00:14:04,967 | What'd you do, man? | What'd you do, man? |
431 | 00:14:05,066 | 00:14:05,900 | Oh, my goodness. | Oh, my goodness. |
432 | 00:14:05,934 | 00:14:07,600 | I was just feeding it, I-- | I was just feeding it, I-- |
433 | 00:14:07,633 | 00:14:09,600 | We need a first aid kit. | We need a first aid kit. |
434 | 00:14:09,633 | 00:14:10,500 | Where's Dr. Ash? | Where's Dr. Ash? |
435 | 00:14:10,533 | 00:14:11,400 | [Dr. Ash] Robert? | [Dr. Ash] Robert? |
436 | 00:14:11,433 | 00:14:12,333 | What! | What! |
437 | 00:14:12,367 | 00:14:13,400 | I've had enough of this. | I've had enough of this. |
438 | 00:14:13,433 | 00:14:15,333 | It is too many accidents, to many fuck ups, alright? | It is too many accidents, to many fuck ups, alright? |
439 | 00:14:15,367 | 00:14:16,967 | You're out. | You're out. |
440 | 00:14:17,066 | 00:14:17,800 | She just fired you? | She just fired you? |
441 | 00:14:17,834 | 00:14:20,266 | This is my fly. | This is my fly. |
442 | 00:14:20,300 | 00:14:21,934 | The Dayton Fly. | The Dayton Fly. |
443 | 00:14:21,967 | 00:14:23,500 | [Dr. Ash] You are fired. | [Dr. Ash] You are fired. |
444 | 00:14:23,533 | 00:14:26,700 | [Robert] You know what, I don't give a shit anymore. | [Robert] You know what, I don't give a shit anymore. |
445 | 00:14:26,734 | 00:14:27,834 | [yells] | [yells] |
446 | 00:14:27,867 | 00:14:29,100 | [Dr. Ash] What are you doing? | [Dr. Ash] What are you doing? |
447 | 00:14:29,133 | 00:14:30,900 | They're very smart, what are you doing? | They're very smart, what are you doing? |
448 | 00:14:30,934 | 00:14:32,066 | He's just, he's going crazy. | He's just, he's going crazy. |
449 | 00:14:32,066 | 00:14:32,934 | Jesus. | Jesus. |
450 | 00:14:32,967 | 00:14:34,233 | Hit the emergency button! | Hit the emergency button! |
451 | 00:14:35,266 | 00:14:36,467 | [alarm sounds] Oh no, ah man! | [alarm sounds] Oh no, ah man! |
452 | 00:14:36,500 | 00:14:37,834 | -I don't believe this. -We're in lockdown. | -I don't believe this. -We're in lockdown. |
453 | 00:14:37,867 | 00:14:40,500 | These flies will go in any orifice. | These flies will go in any orifice. |
454 | 00:14:40,533 | 00:14:43,100 | They will eat your flesh from the inside out. | They will eat your flesh from the inside out. |
455 | 00:14:43,133 | 00:14:44,200 | You want the repellent? | You want the repellent? |
456 | 00:14:44,233 | 00:14:45,066 | Spray it! | Spray it! |
457 | 00:14:45,100 | 00:14:46,500 | I'm spraying it, man. | I'm spraying it, man. |
458 | 00:14:46,533 | 00:14:49,266 | Do not inhale the spray, it is highly toxic. | Do not inhale the spray, it is highly toxic. |
459 | 00:14:49,300 | 00:14:51,333 | -Put the mask on! -Put on the mask! | -Put the mask on! -Put on the mask! |
460 | 00:14:51,367 | 00:14:52,567 | Oh my goodness me. | Oh my goodness me. |
461 | 00:14:52,600 | 00:14:53,500 | Gimme the damn spray, man! | Gimme the damn spray, man! |
462 | 00:14:53,533 | 00:14:54,700 | [Robert] Spray 'em down! | [Robert] Spray 'em down! |
463 | 00:14:56,333 | 00:14:58,066 | They will get into your sinus cavity | They will get into your sinus cavity |
464 | 00:14:58,066 | 00:14:59,533 | and then burrow their way out. | and then burrow their way out. |
465 | 00:15:01,066 | 00:15:03,367 | They're swarming, man, I don't believe this. | They're swarming, man, I don't believe this. |
466 | 00:15:03,400 | 00:15:04,266 | Ow! | Ow! |
467 | 00:15:04,300 | 00:15:05,100 | Oh no. | Oh no. |
468 | 00:15:05,133 | 00:15:05,967 | No, no. | No, no. |
469 | 00:15:08,133 | 00:15:10,300 | [yelling] | [yelling] |
470 | 00:15:14,233 | 00:15:16,066 | Shit, is he dead? | Shit, is he dead? |
471 | 00:15:16,066 | 00:15:18,500 | Akim, there is only one way out of this. | Akim, there is only one way out of this. |
472 | 00:15:18,533 | 00:15:20,100 | What's the one way? | What's the one way? |
473 | 00:15:20,133 | 00:15:21,200 | I have to put you-- | I have to put you-- |
474 | 00:15:22,433 | 00:15:23,400 | What's the one way? | What's the one way? |
475 | 00:15:23,433 | 00:15:24,834 | On Scare Tactics. | On Scare Tactics. |
476 | 00:15:27,700 | 00:15:28,834 | Oh. | Oh. |
477 | 00:15:28,867 | 00:15:30,967 | Your friend Orlando set you up. | Your friend Orlando set you up. |
478 | 00:15:31,066 | 00:15:32,867 | Son of a gun! | Son of a gun! |
479 | 00:15:32,900 | 00:15:34,166 | [laughing] | [laughing] |
480 | 00:15:34,200 | 00:15:35,667 | get out of my face, guy! | get out of my face, guy! |
481 | 00:15:35,700 | 00:15:37,133 | [laughing] | [laughing] |
482 | 00:15:37,166 | 00:15:40,400 | You shoulda seen your face! [laughs] | You shoulda seen your face! [laughs] |
483 | 00:15:40,433 | 00:15:42,900 | I was in with carnivorous flies. | I was in with carnivorous flies. |
484 | 00:15:42,934 | 00:15:44,600 | Carnivorous flies! | Carnivorous flies! |
485 | 00:15:46,166 | 00:15:47,467 | I thought I woulda died. | I thought I woulda died. |
486 | 00:15:48,633 | 00:15:52,600 | Tracy Morgan, you scared the bejesus out of me. | Tracy Morgan, you scared the bejesus out of me. |
487 | 00:15:52,633 | 00:15:53,767 | I hate you so much! | I hate you so much! |
488 | 00:15:56,066 | 00:15:58,166 | No need to be angry Akim! | No need to be angry Akim! |
489 | 00:15:58,200 | 00:16:01,734 | You're alive, you're a TV star, win-win! | You're alive, you're a TV star, win-win! |
490 | 00:16:01,767 | 00:16:02,967 | Still to come: | Still to come: |
491 | 00:16:03,066 | 00:16:04,200 | Basically you guys are just gonna be | Basically you guys are just gonna be |
492 | 00:16:04,233 | 00:16:06,066 | putting together some loot bags and | putting together some loot bags and |
493 | 00:16:06,100 | 00:16:08,367 | you're gonna be doing a clown show. | you're gonna be doing a clown show. |
494 | 00:16:08,400 | 00:16:09,600 | That looks awesome. | That looks awesome. |
495 | 00:16:09,633 | 00:16:11,967 | Yeah, I'm a clown. | Yeah, I'm a clown. |
496 | 00:16:12,066 | 00:16:13,500 | Need to liven up the party? | Need to liven up the party? |
497 | 00:16:13,533 | 00:16:14,567 | Send in the clowns! | Send in the clowns! |
498 | 00:16:14,600 | 00:16:15,433 | Honk honk! | Honk honk! |
499 | 00:16:17,934 | 00:16:19,133 | [clown] Oh my God! | [clown] Oh my God! |
500 | 00:16:19,166 | 00:16:21,066 | You're gonna stay and you're gonna perform. | You're gonna stay and you're gonna perform. |
501 | 00:16:21,066 | 00:16:21,834 | Okay, okay. | Okay, okay. |
502 | 00:16:21,867 | 00:16:22,867 | [host] Make this party perfect. | [host] Make this party perfect. |
503 | 00:16:30,734 | 00:16:33,133 | Who feels like clowning around with Giorgio? | Who feels like clowning around with Giorgio? |
504 | 00:16:33,166 | 00:16:34,734 | I do! | I do! |
505 | 00:16:34,767 | 00:16:36,834 | Giorgio's buddy, Mike, got him an opportunity | Giorgio's buddy, Mike, got him an opportunity |
506 | 00:16:36,867 | 00:16:38,667 | to make some easy money. | to make some easy money. |
507 | 00:16:38,700 | 00:16:40,667 | All he's gotta do is help out and perform | All he's gotta do is help out and perform |
508 | 00:16:40,700 | 00:16:43,066 | at a kid's birthday party. | at a kid's birthday party. |
509 | 00:16:43,066 | 00:16:44,934 | I wanna put Giorgio on Scare Tactics | I wanna put Giorgio on Scare Tactics |
510 | 00:16:44,967 | 00:16:47,700 | because he's always annoying people with his guitar. | because he's always annoying people with his guitar. |
511 | 00:16:47,734 | 00:16:49,800 | He made us suffer, so we're gonna make him suffer | He made us suffer, so we're gonna make him suffer |
512 | 00:16:49,834 | 00:16:51,367 | on Scare Tactics. | on Scare Tactics. |
513 | 00:16:51,400 | 00:16:55,400 | Giorgio, this is gonna be one unforgettable celebration. | Giorgio, this is gonna be one unforgettable celebration. |
514 | 00:16:55,433 | 00:16:59,333 | I'm talking balloon animals, clowns, and a birthday girl | I'm talking balloon animals, clowns, and a birthday girl |
515 | 00:16:59,367 | 00:17:02,066 | who only exists in her father's demented mind. | who only exists in her father's demented mind. |
516 | 00:17:05,567 | 00:17:08,400 | Today is my daughter Olivia's fifth birthday party. | Today is my daughter Olivia's fifth birthday party. |
517 | 00:17:08,433 | 00:17:09,867 | I've been working on it for months, | I've been working on it for months, |
518 | 00:17:09,900 | 00:17:12,934 | like I literally put months of time and work in it. | like I literally put months of time and work in it. |
519 | 00:17:12,967 | 00:17:14,233 | Basically you guys are just gonna be | Basically you guys are just gonna be |
520 | 00:17:14,266 | 00:17:15,767 | putting together some loot bags, | putting together some loot bags, |
521 | 00:17:15,800 | 00:17:18,066 | and you're gonna be doing a clown show. | and you're gonna be doing a clown show. |
522 | 00:17:18,100 | 00:17:19,967 | I shoulda brought my guitar or something. | I shoulda brought my guitar or something. |
523 | 00:17:20,066 | 00:17:22,066 | Oh man, that woulda been amazing. | Oh man, that woulda been amazing. |
524 | 00:17:22,066 | 00:17:23,266 | Oh, that's too bad, yeah. | Oh, that's too bad, yeah. |
525 | 00:17:23,300 | 00:17:24,500 | Yeah, I coulda brought mine too, | Yeah, I coulda brought mine too, |
526 | 00:17:24,533 | 00:17:25,633 | we coulda totally jammed or whatever. | we coulda totally jammed or whatever. |
527 | 00:17:25,667 | 00:17:26,533 | That woulda been awesome. | That woulda been awesome. |
528 | 00:17:26,567 | 00:17:27,367 | Ha! | Ha! |
529 | 00:17:27,400 | 00:17:28,367 | I love parties! | I love parties! |
530 | 00:17:28,400 | 00:17:30,066 | I mean, Olivia loves parties. | I mean, Olivia loves parties. |
531 | 00:17:31,266 | 00:17:32,066 | Ssh. | Ssh. |
532 | 00:17:32,100 | 00:17:33,266 | Ssh. | Ssh. |
533 | 00:17:33,300 | 00:17:34,266 | Back in a sec. | Back in a sec. |
534 | 00:17:34,300 | 00:17:35,133 | Okay. | Okay. |
535 | 00:17:39,300 | 00:17:41,767 | What do you think of that guy? | What do you think of that guy? |
536 | 00:17:41,800 | 00:17:43,834 | Sort of thinking of | Sort of thinking of |
537 | 00:17:43,867 | 00:17:44,934 | unstable. | unstable. |
538 | 00:17:44,967 | 00:17:47,467 | Like, unhinged? [laughs] | Like, unhinged? [laughs] |
539 | 00:17:47,500 | 00:17:49,567 | These are so fun, have you ever done one of these? | These are so fun, have you ever done one of these? |
540 | 00:17:49,600 | 00:17:50,400 | No. | No. |
541 | 00:17:50,433 | 00:17:51,233 | Do it. | Do it. |
542 | 00:17:51,266 | 00:17:52,100 | Yeah, yeah, yeah. | Yeah, yeah, yeah. |
543 | 00:17:53,533 | 00:17:54,767 | [both laugh] | [both laugh] |
544 | 00:17:54,800 | 00:17:55,734 | Okay. | Okay. |
545 | 00:17:55,767 | 00:17:57,200 | Got the costumes. | Got the costumes. |
546 | 00:17:57,233 | 00:17:58,433 | Oh great! | Oh great! |
547 | 00:17:58,467 | 00:18:01,066 | Did someone fire off a confetti cannon? | Did someone fire off a confetti cannon? |
548 | 00:18:03,300 | 00:18:04,200 | Oh yeah, we were-- | Oh yeah, we were-- |
549 | 00:18:04,233 | 00:18:05,900 | Yeah, it's not for you. | Yeah, it's not for you. |
550 | 00:18:09,233 | 00:18:10,066 | Okay. | Okay. |
551 | 00:18:15,600 | 00:18:16,767 | What was that? | What was that? |
552 | 00:18:19,734 | 00:18:20,900 | He gave me a weird stare. | He gave me a weird stare. |
553 | 00:18:20,934 | 00:18:22,166 | Oh it's so crazy. | Oh it's so crazy. |
554 | 00:18:22,200 | 00:18:24,633 | I don't know, I'm just gonna go with the flow. | I don't know, I'm just gonna go with the flow. |
555 | 00:18:24,667 | 00:18:25,567 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
556 | 00:18:25,600 | 00:18:27,433 | I think we just put this on over our clothes. | I think we just put this on over our clothes. |
557 | 00:18:30,800 | 00:18:33,066 | There you go, that looks awesome! | There you go, that looks awesome! |
558 | 00:18:33,066 | 00:18:34,367 | I am a clown. | I am a clown. |
559 | 00:18:34,400 | 00:18:36,266 | What do you want on your face? | What do you want on your face? |
560 | 00:18:36,300 | 00:18:37,233 | Like a happy face? | Like a happy face? |
561 | 00:18:37,266 | 00:18:38,967 | Yeah that's probably good. | Yeah that's probably good. |
562 | 00:18:39,066 | 00:18:40,400 | [small voice] Open the door! | [small voice] Open the door! |
563 | 00:18:40,433 | 00:18:41,633 | What was that? | What was that? |
564 | 00:18:41,667 | 00:18:42,900 | [small voice] Can you open the door? | [small voice] Can you open the door? |
565 | 00:18:42,934 | 00:18:44,667 | Please open the door. | Please open the door. |
566 | 00:18:46,667 | 00:18:48,367 | [clown] Oh my God! | [clown] Oh my God! |
567 | 00:18:48,400 | 00:18:50,900 | I've been in there for days. | I've been in there for days. |
568 | 00:18:50,934 | 00:18:54,066 | There's no party, he's fucking crazy! | There's no party, he's fucking crazy! |
569 | 00:18:55,667 | 00:18:57,467 | Ssh, you shouldn't be yelling that then, | Ssh, you shouldn't be yelling that then, |
570 | 00:18:57,500 | 00:18:58,567 | if he really is crazy. | if he really is crazy. |
571 | 00:18:58,600 | 00:18:59,734 | Oh my God. | Oh my God. |
572 | 00:18:59,767 | 00:19:01,300 | No, can you please be quiet then, | No, can you please be quiet then, |
573 | 00:19:01,333 | 00:19:03,533 | 'cause if we're in serious danger you can't be yelling. | 'cause if we're in serious danger you can't be yelling. |
574 | 00:19:03,567 | 00:19:04,900 | No, no, no! | No, no, no! |
575 | 00:19:04,934 | 00:19:06,100 | I don't know if he's over there! | I don't know if he's over there! |
576 | 00:19:06,133 | 00:19:07,500 | No, please, stop yelling! | No, please, stop yelling! |
577 | 00:19:07,533 | 00:19:08,767 | I don't wanna stay here! | I don't wanna stay here! |
578 | 00:19:08,800 | 00:19:10,066 | [screams] | [screams] |
579 | 00:19:10,100 | 00:19:11,100 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
580 | 00:19:14,200 | 00:19:17,200 | I told her she couldn't leave until the party was perfect! | I told her she couldn't leave until the party was perfect! |
581 | 00:19:20,867 | 00:19:22,066 | You're gonna stay and you're gonna perform! | You're gonna stay and you're gonna perform! |
582 | 00:19:22,066 | 00:19:23,066 | Okay, okay. | Okay, okay. |
583 | 00:19:23,100 | 00:19:24,066 | Make this party perfect. | Make this party perfect. |
584 | 00:19:24,066 | 00:19:25,100 | Do some balloon animals! | Do some balloon animals! |
585 | 00:19:25,133 | 00:19:25,967 | Okay. | Okay. |
586 | 00:19:29,300 | 00:19:30,667 | Hurry up! | Hurry up! |
587 | 00:19:30,700 | 00:19:31,500 | We're doing it, okay? | We're doing it, okay? |
588 | 00:19:31,533 | 00:19:32,433 | We're doing it! | We're doing it! |
589 | 00:19:32,467 | 00:19:33,433 | [confetti cannon explodes] | [confetti cannon explodes] |
590 | 00:19:33,467 | 00:19:34,433 | [yells] Oh my God. | [yells] Oh my God. |
591 | 00:19:34,467 | 00:19:35,266 | You! | You! |
592 | 00:19:35,300 | 00:19:36,100 | Get over here right now! | Get over here right now! |
593 | 00:19:36,133 | 00:19:37,600 | Get over here! | Get over here! |
594 | 00:19:37,633 | 00:19:39,066 | Okay, okay. | Okay, okay. |
595 | 00:19:39,066 | 00:19:39,934 | Shake my hand. | Shake my hand. |
596 | 00:19:41,233 | 00:19:43,233 | [yells] | [yells] |
597 | 00:19:44,467 | 00:19:47,867 | [intense music] | [intense music] |
598 | 00:19:47,900 | 00:19:48,867 | You're on a show! | You're on a show! |
599 | 00:19:48,900 | 00:19:49,700 | This is a TV show! | This is a TV show! |
600 | 00:19:49,734 | 00:19:51,133 | Giorgio it's a joke! | Giorgio it's a joke! |
601 | 00:19:51,166 | 00:19:53,200 | It's just a joke, it was all a joke. | It's just a joke, it was all a joke. |
602 | 00:19:53,233 | 00:19:54,700 | You're on Scare Tactics! | You're on Scare Tactics! |
603 | 00:19:55,367 | 00:19:57,934 | [host] You're okay, your friend Mike set you up! | [host] You're okay, your friend Mike set you up! |
604 | 00:19:57,967 | 00:20:00,734 | Seriously, your face is priceless. | Seriously, your face is priceless. |
605 | 00:20:00,767 | 00:20:02,133 | I'm sorry though, it was all a joke. | I'm sorry though, it was all a joke. |
606 | 00:20:02,166 | 00:20:03,600 | Will you come back? | Will you come back? |
607 | 00:20:03,633 | 00:20:06,300 | I thought that was a survival test right there. | I thought that was a survival test right there. |
608 | 00:20:06,333 | 00:20:08,433 | So what did you think just happened? | So what did you think just happened? |
609 | 00:20:08,467 | 00:20:10,667 | I thought I was in a horror movie right now. | I thought I was in a horror movie right now. |
610 | 00:20:10,700 | 00:20:11,633 | I was like, | I was like, |
611 | 00:20:12,600 | 00:20:14,066 | oh my God. | oh my God. |
612 | 00:20:14,100 | 00:20:15,567 | [laughs] | [laughs] |
613 | 00:20:16,567 | 00:20:17,400 | Man! | Man! |
614 | 00:20:18,834 | 00:20:19,667 | Come here, give me a hug. | Come here, give me a hug. |
615 | 00:20:19,700 | 00:20:20,500 | You would! | You would! |
616 | 00:20:20,533 | 00:20:21,533 | What the fuck, dude! | What the fuck, dude! |
617 | 00:20:21,567 | 00:20:22,767 | Wow. | Wow. |
618 | 00:20:22,800 | 00:20:24,767 | People always think that these things are | People always think that these things are |
619 | 00:20:24,800 | 00:20:26,734 | actually acted out and stuff, | actually acted out and stuff, |
620 | 00:20:26,767 | 00:20:28,033 | like reality TV's not real. | like reality TV's not real. |
621 | 00:20:28,066 | 00:20:29,867 | That definitely felt real and I definitely | That definitely felt real and I definitely |
622 | 00:20:29,900 | 00:20:31,800 | thought I was gonna die. | thought I was gonna die. |
623 | 00:20:34,200 | 00:20:35,800 | Wait a second Giorgio! | Wait a second Giorgio! |
624 | 00:20:35,834 | 00:20:37,400 | I thought I'd seen everything! | I thought I'd seen everything! |
625 | 00:20:37,433 | 00:20:40,100 | But a birthday clown with a bad case of the runs? | But a birthday clown with a bad case of the runs? |
626 | 00:20:40,133 | 00:20:42,000 | You take the cake! | You take the cake! |
627 | 00:20:42,033 | 00:20:43,367 | That's it for now. | That's it for now. |
628 | 00:20:43,400 | 00:20:46,000 | Until next time, sleep with one eye open, baby. | Until next time, sleep with one eye open, baby. |
629 | 00:20:46,033 | 00:20:47,433 | Or this could happen to you. | Or this could happen to you. |
630 | 00:20:48,834 | 00:20:50,400 | Andy! | Andy! |
631 | 00:20:50,433 | 00:20:51,233 | [growls] | [growls] |
632 | 00:20:51,266 | 00:20:52,166 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
633 | 00:20:52,200 | 00:20:53,233 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
634 | 00:20:53,266 | 00:20:54,066 | [growls] | [growls] |
635 | 00:20:54,100 | 00:20:54,900 | Oh God! | Oh God! |
636 | 00:20:54,934 | 00:20:55,834 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
637 | 00:20:55,867 | 00:20:57,166 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
638 | 00:20:57,200 | 00:20:58,333 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
639 | 00:20:58,367 | 00:20:59,767 | Oh my God! | Oh my God! |
640 | 00:20:59,800 | 00:21:00,967 | Hurry up! | Hurry up! |
641 | 00:21:01,066 | 00:21:01,967 | We're doing it, okay? | We're doing it, okay? |
642 | 00:21:02,066 | 00:21:02,800 | We're doing it! | We're doing it! |
643 | 00:21:02,834 | 00:21:03,667 | [confetti cannon explodes] | [confetti cannon explodes] |
644 | 00:21:03,700 | 00:21:04,633 | [yells] Oh my God. | [yells] Oh my God. |
645 | 00:21:04,667 | 00:21:05,834 | Stop, stop! | Stop, stop! |
646 | 00:21:05,867 | 00:21:07,567 | Giorgio, Giorgio, stop, it was all a joke. | Giorgio, Giorgio, stop, it was all a joke. |
647 | 00:21:07,600 | 00:21:09,934 | [yelling in tongues] | [yelling in tongues] |
648 | 00:21:09,967 | 00:21:10,800 | Holy! | Holy! |
649 | 00:21:11,633 | 00:21:12,767 | Oh, hey, hey, hey! | Oh, hey, hey, hey! |
650 | 00:21:12,800 | 00:21:13,800 | Oh, hey, hey, hey! | Oh, hey, hey, hey! |
651 | 00:21:13,834 | 00:21:15,633 | Look man, there's blood and everything, holy crap! | Look man, there's blood and everything, holy crap! |
652 | 00:21:15,667 | 00:21:16,867 | [Robert] Spray 'em down! | [Robert] Spray 'em down! |
653 | 00:21:16,900 | 00:21:18,333 | They will get into your sinus cavity | They will get into your sinus cavity |
654 | 00:21:18,367 | 00:21:19,734 | and then burrow their way out. | and then burrow their way out. |
655 | 00:21:19,767 | 00:21:21,800 | [yells] | [yells] |
656 | 00:21:21,834 | 00:21:23,500 | What's the one way? | What's the one way? |
657 | 00:21:23,533 | 00:21:24,767 | See ya. | See ya. |