# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:17,208 00:00:22,083 MAN (narrating): In the beginning, God created the universe, MAN (narrating): In the beginning, God created the universe,
2 00:00:25,375 00:00:27,208 the heavens... the heavens...
3 00:00:29,083 00:00:31,208 and the Earth. and the Earth.
4 00:00:37,709 00:00:42,750 Then God created the first nerd. Then God created the first nerd.
5 00:00:50,959 00:00:53,959 ♪♪ ♪♪
6 00:01:04,959 00:01:07,083 (chattering) (chattering)
7 00:01:12,834 00:01:15,875 I'm going to take note on your champagne glasses. I'm going to take note on your champagne glasses.
8 00:01:15,959 00:01:20,250 Check the silver service and make sure that it's properly polished. Check the silver service and make sure that it's properly polished.
9 00:01:20,333 00:01:23,375 Eugene, take this to the kitchen. Make sure the steam tables have arrived. Eugene, take this to the kitchen. Make sure the steam tables have arrived.
10 00:01:23,458 00:01:26,166 Check on the tablecloths and make sure they're the right color. Check on the tablecloths and make sure they're the right color.
11 00:01:29,291 00:01:31,917 (continues chattering) (continues chattering)
12 00:01:32,000 00:01:34,250 Oh, boy. Oh, boy, I don't know. Oh, boy. Oh, boy, I don't know.
13 00:01:34,333 00:01:36,709 Aaron, relax. You're driving us all crazy. Aaron, relax. You're driving us all crazy.
14 00:01:36,792 00:01:38,875 This better be a great wedding. This better be a great wedding.
15 00:01:38,959 00:01:42,083 Every political heavyweight from the party is gonna be there checking me out. Every political heavyweight from the party is gonna be there checking me out.
16 00:01:42,166 00:01:45,750 Jeanie's wedding is going to be wonderful. Fix your ascot. Jeanie's wedding is going to be wonderful. Fix your ascot.
17 00:01:45,834 00:01:49,875 How come we never met this guy that Jeanie's marrying? How come we never met this guy that Jeanie's marrying?
18 00:01:49,959 00:01:52,583 -What's his name again? -Dudley Dawson. -What's his name again? -Dudley Dawson.
19 00:01:52,667 00:01:56,750 -Yeah. -Hey, I wonder if he's from the Schenectady Dawsons. -Yeah. -Hey, I wonder if he's from the Schenectady Dawsons.
20 00:01:56,834 00:01:59,250 They're a very powerful family back east. They're a very powerful family back east.
21 00:01:59,333 00:02:01,417 (snaps fingers) I went to school with Cap Dawson. (snaps fingers) I went to school with Cap Dawson.
22 00:02:01,500 00:02:05,250 -Talk about your blue bloods. -Isn't it just a little bit strange -Talk about your blue bloods. -Isn't it just a little bit strange
23 00:02:05,333 00:02:09,000 that Jeanie never brought, uh, what's-his-butt over here before? that Jeanie never brought, uh, what's-his-butt over here before?
24 00:02:09,083 00:02:13,291 (scoffs) His name is Dudley. They only met three months ago. (scoffs) His name is Dudley. They only met three months ago.
25 00:02:13,375 00:02:15,458 I know I'd be a shoo-in with the people I know I'd be a shoo-in with the people
26 00:02:15,542 00:02:18,333 if I could just get those old-money blue bloods to endorse my candidacy. if I could just get those old-money blue bloods to endorse my candidacy.
27 00:02:18,417 00:02:20,917 And they'd be damn fools not to, Dad, And they'd be damn fools not to, Dad,
28 00:02:21,000 00:02:23,583 irregardless of the fact that you are nouveau riche. irregardless of the fact that you are nouveau riche.
29 00:02:28,208 00:02:31,917 Don't you ever use that phrase in this house! Don't you ever use that phrase in this house!
30 00:02:32,000 00:02:37,458 I am not nouveau riche. I am a self-made businessman. I am not nouveau riche. I am a self-made businessman.
31 00:02:37,542 00:02:40,291 And I'm not your dad. I'm your father-in-law. Get it? And I'm not your dad. I'm your father-in-law. Get it?
32 00:02:40,375 00:02:44,792 Right. Self-made businessman. Father-in law. I-I got it. Right. Self-made businessman. Father-in law. I-I got it.
33 00:02:44,875 00:02:47,500 Can we please stop talking about the campaign for a minute? Can we please stop talking about the campaign for a minute?
34 00:02:47,583 00:02:50,667 Focus on Jeanie's wedding. That's what's important here. Focus on Jeanie's wedding. That's what's important here.
35 00:02:50,750 00:02:53,041 Gaylord's right, as usual. Gaylord's right, as usual.
36 00:02:54,542 00:02:58,041 -WOMAN: Hi, everybody. -Jeanie! -WOMAN: Hi, everybody. -Jeanie!
37 00:03:00,125 00:03:03,625 -You look wonderful. -Thank you. -You look wonderful. -Thank you.
38 00:03:03,709 00:03:05,542 I love that outfit. I love that outfit.
39 00:03:05,625 00:03:07,834 You do? You do?
40 00:03:07,917 00:03:11,375 -So, you excited? -Oh, yeah. (laughs) -So, you excited? -Oh, yeah. (laughs)
41 00:03:11,458 00:03:14,375 Where'd you meet... Dudley? Where'd you meet... Dudley?
42 00:03:14,458 00:03:17,750 Well, at a ham and lima bean cookout. Well, at a ham and lima bean cookout.
43 00:03:23,542 00:03:26,208 It was an Omega Mu sorority fund-raiser. It was an Omega Mu sorority fund-raiser.
44 00:03:26,792 00:03:28,834 Oh, ho, ho, sure, sure. The... Oh, ho, ho, sure, sure. The...
45 00:03:28,917 00:03:31,875 the Schenectady Dawsons are very big with sororities the Schenectady Dawsons are very big with sororities
46 00:03:31,959 00:03:34,166 and fund-raisers and cookouts. and fund-raisers and cookouts.
47 00:03:34,250 00:03:35,542 (doorbell ringing) (doorbell ringing)
48 00:03:35,625 00:03:38,667 All your questions will be answered in a moment. All your questions will be answered in a moment.
49 00:03:38,750 00:03:40,834 -(knocking) -Oh! -(knocking) -Oh!
50 00:03:40,917 00:03:43,125 -Booger? -Why'd she call him Booger? -Booger? -Why'd she call him Booger?
51 00:03:45,125 00:03:47,041 -Baby! -Oh! -Baby! -Oh!
52 00:03:47,125 00:03:49,041 Oh, honey. Oh, honey.
53 00:03:49,125 00:03:52,417 Oh... buns. Oh... buns.
54 00:03:52,500 00:03:54,917 -Give me buns! -(shrieks) -Give me buns! -(shrieks)
55 00:03:55,000 00:03:57,709 -May I have them, please? -Stop it! -May I have them, please? -Stop it!
56 00:03:57,792 00:03:59,834 -Give me buns! -Shh! No! Shh! -Give me buns! -Shh! No! Shh!
57 00:03:59,917 00:04:02,709 Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo!
58 00:04:02,792 00:04:04,208 My family is waiting to meet you. My family is waiting to meet you.
59 00:04:04,291 00:04:05,500 (groans) (groans)
60 00:04:05,583 00:04:07,166 (gasps) Mommy! (gasps) Mommy!
61 00:04:08,792 00:04:10,542 Tippy! Tippy! Tippy! Tippy!
62 00:04:10,625 00:04:14,291 -What happened? -Mommy fainted. -What happened? -Mommy fainted.
63 00:04:14,375 00:04:16,583 Gosh, are you all right, Mrs. Humphrey? Gosh, are you all right, Mrs. Humphrey?
64 00:04:16,667 00:04:17,583 Yeah, I-- Yeah, I--
65 00:04:17,667 00:04:19,917 She'll be fine. Can I ask you a question? She'll be fine. Can I ask you a question?
66 00:04:20,000 00:04:22,709 Are you from the Schenectady Dawsons, railroad money? Are you from the Schenectady Dawsons, railroad money?
67 00:04:22,792 00:04:24,875 -Hmm? -Uh, no. -Hmm? -Uh, no.
68 00:04:24,959 00:04:27,750 The Detroit Dawsons. Sewing machine rental money. The Detroit Dawsons. Sewing machine rental money.
69 00:04:27,834 00:04:33,291 -There's gonna be an egg. Where's the kitchen? -Oh, to the left! -There's gonna be an egg. Where's the kitchen? -Oh, to the left!
70 00:04:33,375 00:04:36,250 -Are you all right, Mommy? -Yes, yes, I'm fine. -Are you all right, Mommy? -Yes, yes, I'm fine.
71 00:04:36,333 00:04:38,750 I don't know what came over me. Oh! I don't know what came over me. Oh!
72 00:04:38,834 00:04:40,709 Sewing machine rental money? Sewing machine rental money?
73 00:04:40,792 00:04:43,542 My God, he's a nerd! My God, he's a nerd!
74 00:04:43,625 00:04:45,291 (all gasp) (all gasp)
75 00:04:45,375 00:04:48,041 A nerd? How can you tell? A nerd? How can you tell?
76 00:04:48,125 00:04:50,750 There were a lot of nerds at USC. There were a lot of nerds at USC.
77 00:04:50,834 00:04:53,959 I can smell a nerd a mile away. I can smell a nerd a mile away.
78 00:04:54,041 00:04:57,291 Well, I've heard nerds make wonderful husbands. Well, I've heard nerds make wonderful husbands.
79 00:04:57,375 00:05:00,834 And they're smart too. And they're smart too.
80 00:05:00,917 00:05:03,750 She's obviously getting even with us for something. She's obviously getting even with us for something.
81 00:05:06,417 00:05:08,750 -Beef! We need beef! -In there! -Beef! We need beef! -In there!
82 00:05:11,917 00:05:14,333 That was kind of a rocky start with your family. That was kind of a rocky start with your family.
83 00:05:14,417 00:05:16,458 Oh, everything's fine. My mom's great. Oh, everything's fine. My mom's great.
84 00:05:16,542 00:05:18,583 I'm sure she's just overwhelmed from all the excitement. I'm sure she's just overwhelmed from all the excitement.
85 00:05:18,667 00:05:21,834 -Well then, you don't think it's because they don't like me? -Booger, I love you. -Well then, you don't think it's because they don't like me? -Booger, I love you.
86 00:05:21,917 00:05:26,166 Well, yeah, I know you-- I got it! I know you do. Well, yeah, I know you-- I got it! I know you do.
87 00:05:26,250 00:05:29,458 But I was just afraid maybe your "mishpukin'" was thinking you were "mistookin'." But I was just afraid maybe your "mishpukin'" was thinking you were "mistookin'."
88 00:05:29,542 00:05:32,083 They're gonna love you too, Booger. I know they will. They're gonna love you too, Booger. I know they will.
89 00:05:32,166 00:05:34,500 -(exhales) -Oh! -(exhales) -Oh!
90 00:05:34,583 00:05:37,458 Here you go, Mrs. Humphrey. Put this on the--Hey! Here you go, Mrs. Humphrey. Put this on the--Hey!
91 00:05:37,542 00:05:40,125 -Oh! -(gasps) -Oh! -(gasps)
92 00:05:40,208 00:05:43,333 BOOGER: Don't move. Don't move. Excuse me. That was clumsy. BOOGER: Don't move. Don't move. Excuse me. That was clumsy.
93 00:05:43,417 00:05:47,834 -Ahh... -There we go. I've got it. -Ahh... -There we go. I've got it.
94 00:05:47,917 00:05:50,333 Can I speak to you a second, Jeanie? Can I speak to you a second, Jeanie?
95 00:05:50,417 00:05:52,041 Sure. Sure.
96 00:05:56,083 00:05:58,834 Thank you, dear. Thank you, dear.
97 00:05:58,917 00:06:01,041 It stops the swelling. It stops the swelling.
98 00:06:06,250 00:06:07,500 Are you pregnant? Are you pregnant?
99 00:06:07,583 00:06:10,041 Pregnant? No! Pregnant? No!
100 00:06:10,750 00:06:12,917 You mean, you don't have to marry him? You mean, you don't have to marry him?
101 00:06:13,125 00:06:14,083 Daddy! Daddy!
102 00:06:15,291 00:06:18,000 I would like you to come with me to a cult deprogrammer. I would like you to come with me to a cult deprogrammer.
103 00:06:18,291 00:06:21,667 J-J-J-Just show up there and be open. That's all I ask. J-J-J-Just show up there and be open. That's all I ask.
104 00:06:23,125 00:06:25,041 I just can't believe you're saying this. I just can't believe you're saying this.
105 00:06:25,125 00:06:26,208 (whimpers) (whimpers)
106 00:06:26,291 00:06:28,583 Wh-wh-where are you going? Wh-wh-where are you going?
107 00:06:28,667 00:06:30,917 This is good stuff I'm telling you. This is good stuff I'm telling you.
108 00:06:31,000 00:06:33,917 (sobbing) I love Booger! (sobbing) I love Booger!
109 00:06:34,000 00:06:38,250 And I'm gonna marry him no matter what you think! (sobbing) And I'm gonna marry him no matter what you think! (sobbing)
110 00:06:38,333 00:06:39,917 Jeanie? Jeanie?
111 00:06:40,000 00:06:42,709 -Sweetheart, you're overreacting. -(door slams) -Sweetheart, you're overreacting. -(door slams)
112 00:06:42,792 00:06:45,500 -What did you say to her? -Nothing. -What did you say to her? -Nothing.
113 00:06:45,583 00:06:48,125 Nothing. We just had a little conversation, that's all. Nothing. We just had a little conversation, that's all.
114 00:06:48,500 00:06:52,250 Ahh... Can't we all just get along? Ahh... Can't we all just get along?
115 00:06:52,333 00:06:55,875 She comes home with a guy who looks like he came out of a vending machine, She comes home with a guy who looks like he came out of a vending machine,
116 00:06:55,959 00:06:58,875 -and I'm the one who's wrong. -TIPPY: Jeanie. Jeanie. -and I'm the one who's wrong. -TIPPY: Jeanie. Jeanie.
117 00:07:02,333 00:07:04,500 What a world. What a world.
118 00:07:05,500 00:07:06,959 Hey! Hey!
119 00:07:08,291 00:07:10,625 Hi. I'm Jeanie's sister, Gaylord. Hi. I'm Jeanie's sister, Gaylord.
120 00:07:10,709 00:07:13,792 And this is my husband, Chip. Chip Medford. And this is my husband, Chip. Chip Medford.
121 00:07:13,875 00:07:17,125 Great idea. Having the wedding on Valentine's Day. (laughs) Great idea. Having the wedding on Valentine's Day. (laughs)
122 00:07:25,208 00:07:28,250 Are you sure your best man knows where we are located? Are you sure your best man knows where we are located?
123 00:07:28,333 00:07:30,875 Oh, he'll find it all right. Oh, he'll find it all right.
124 00:07:32,375 00:07:35,291 As a matter of fact, he will be here in exactly As a matter of fact, he will be here in exactly
125 00:07:35,375 00:07:37,291 seven seconds. seven seconds.
126 00:07:37,375 00:07:40,458 Five, four, Five, four,
127 00:07:40,542 00:07:43,709 three, two, one. three, two, one.
128 00:07:46,542 00:07:50,333 Right on the button. Lewis! Right on the button. Lewis!
129 00:07:51,500 00:07:53,125 Booger! Booger!
130 00:07:53,208 00:07:55,333 Pull in here! Pull in here!
131 00:07:55,417 00:07:58,542 (honks horn) (honks horn)
132 00:08:04,417 00:08:06,709 (hydraulics brakes hissing) (hydraulics brakes hissing)
133 00:08:09,166 00:08:13,083 (both laughing) (both laughing)
134 00:08:13,166 00:08:16,625 -Oh, Booger's wedding. -Yeah! -Oh, Booger's wedding. -Yeah!
135 00:08:16,709 00:08:19,750 -(singsong) ♪ Booger's gettin' married ♪ -Oh, come on. Stop it! -(singsong) ♪ Booger's gettin' married ♪ -Oh, come on. Stop it!
136 00:08:19,834 00:08:21,834 Hey, what do you think of the truck? Hey, what do you think of the truck?
137 00:08:21,917 00:08:24,291 Well... well, I would expect nothing else from the king of the nerds. Well... well, I would expect nothing else from the king of the nerds.
138 00:08:24,375 00:08:26,166 -It's got everything. -Where's Betty? -It's got everything. -Where's Betty?
139 00:08:26,250 00:08:28,792 Oh, follow me. Oh, follow me.
140 00:08:28,875 00:08:30,709 Would you like to see my unborn fetal son? Would you like to see my unborn fetal son?
141 00:08:30,792 00:08:34,000 -Yeah. -This is a state-of-the-art, remote-activated, -Yeah. -This is a state-of-the-art, remote-activated,
142 00:08:34,083 00:08:37,500 microwave-transmitted, bilingual, five DB-gain, microwave-transmitted, bilingual, five DB-gain,
143 00:08:37,583 00:08:40,625 semi-duplex fetal monitor. semi-duplex fetal monitor.
144 00:08:40,709 00:08:43,667 I can check on the development, the vital signs of my unborn I can check on the development, the vital signs of my unborn
145 00:08:43,750 00:08:46,375 fetal son from anywhere in the universe. fetal son from anywhere in the universe.
146 00:08:46,458 00:08:48,166 (laughs) Look. (laughs) Look.
147 00:08:48,250 00:08:50,166 There's his tinkler. There's his tinkler.
148 00:08:50,250 00:08:52,875 Just like the old man, huh? Just like the old man, huh?
149 00:08:52,959 00:08:55,250 (both guffawing) (both guffawing)
150 00:09:03,667 00:09:07,041 -Booger! -Betty! -Booger! -Betty!
151 00:09:07,125 00:09:11,667 -What is this? -An Airbus A300 WhisperJet -What is this? -An Airbus A300 WhisperJet
152 00:09:11,750 00:09:16,375 could land right on our truck, and Betty and our unborn fetal son wouldn't even be hurt. could land right on our truck, and Betty and our unborn fetal son wouldn't even be hurt.
153 00:09:16,458 00:09:18,667 -Lewis? -Hmm? -Lewis? -Hmm?
154 00:09:18,750 00:09:21,041 Could you let me out of here? Could you let me out of here?
155 00:09:21,125 00:09:23,834 -Oh, sure, Betty. -Here. Let me give you a hand. -Oh, sure, Betty. -Here. Let me give you a hand.
156 00:09:23,917 00:09:25,750 -Thank you. -(hisses) -Thank you. -(hisses)
157 00:09:25,834 00:09:27,917 (all laughing) (all laughing)
158 00:09:28,000 00:09:30,583 Hey, so, Booger, how are things going with the in-laws? Hey, so, Booger, how are things going with the in-laws?
159 00:09:30,667 00:09:33,208 Well, things were going okay, Well, things were going okay,
160 00:09:33,291 00:09:35,709 until my mother-in-law passed out and cracked her head on the coffee table. until my mother-in-law passed out and cracked her head on the coffee table.
161 00:09:35,792 00:09:36,875 BOTH: Oh. BOTH: Oh.
162 00:09:36,959 00:09:40,291 And I don't think my father-in-law likes me at all. And I don't think my father-in-law likes me at all.
163 00:09:40,625 00:09:41,542 BOTH: Oh. BOTH: Oh.
164 00:09:41,625 00:09:43,709 He's one of those pretentious, He's one of those pretentious,
165 00:09:43,792 00:09:46,834 hoity-toity, nouveau riche types. hoity-toity, nouveau riche types.
166 00:09:47,709 00:09:50,041 -He may be anti-nerd. -(both gasp) -He may be anti-nerd. -(both gasp)
167 00:09:50,125 00:09:52,750 Oh, no. Oh, no.
168 00:09:52,834 00:09:55,250 Why does this always have to poke its ugly head out? Why does this always have to poke its ugly head out?
169 00:09:55,333 00:09:58,750 Indeed. We need to nip this in the bud. Indeed. We need to nip this in the bud.
170 00:09:58,834 00:10:03,417 Booger, I want you to know I take my job as best man very seriously. Booger, I want you to know I take my job as best man very seriously.
171 00:10:03,500 00:10:06,875 And I will take care of everything, including Jeanie's old man. And I will take care of everything, including Jeanie's old man.
172 00:10:06,959 00:10:09,792 Never fear, Skolnick's here. Never fear, Skolnick's here.
173 00:10:09,875 00:10:12,375 -I love you, you big galoot. -(laughs) -I love you, you big galoot. -(laughs)
174 00:10:12,458 00:10:15,083 (laughs) I feel better already. (laughs) I feel better already.
175 00:10:15,166 00:10:18,208 -(horn honks) -Hey, here comes the gang. -(horn honks) -Hey, here comes the gang.
176 00:10:18,291 00:10:21,750 - ♪ Take one down pass it around ♪ -Hey, guys! - ♪ Take one down pass it around ♪ -Hey, guys!
177 00:10:21,834 00:10:24,583 ♪ No bottles of beer on the wall ♪ ♪ No bottles of beer on the wall ♪
178 00:10:24,667 00:10:28,375 (whooping, chattering) (whooping, chattering)
179 00:10:33,000 00:10:35,834 -Lamar! -Party, party, party! -Lamar! -Party, party, party!
180 00:10:35,917 00:10:37,166 Booger! Booger!
181 00:10:37,250 00:10:39,625 (laughing) (laughing)
182 00:10:39,709 00:10:42,792 -(camera shutter clicks) -Nerds are here! -(camera shutter clicks) -Nerds are here!
183 00:10:42,875 00:10:45,041 -Takashi! -Booger! -Takashi! -Booger!
184 00:10:47,250 00:10:50,125 -Lewis! Hi, Lewis. -Takash, how are you? Good to see you. -Lewis! Hi, Lewis. -Takash, how are you? Good to see you.
185 00:10:50,208 00:10:53,333 Oh, Betty! Oh, ho, ho! Betty so big. Oh, Betty! Oh, ho, ho! Betty so big.
186 00:10:53,417 00:10:56,583 -(laughs) -Oh, look at you! -(laughs) -Oh, look at you!
187 00:10:56,667 00:10:59,792 -Oh, Judy! -Uncle Lewis! -Oh, Judy! -Uncle Lewis!
188 00:10:59,875 00:11:02,750 -Harold! Good trip? -Ah, ho, it was great. -Harold! Good trip? -Ah, ho, it was great.
189 00:11:02,834 00:11:05,792 You know, the bus driver said we were the first group ever You know, the bus driver said we were the first group ever
190 00:11:05,875 00:11:08,500 to make it all the way through "A Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall?" to make it all the way through "A Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall?"
191 00:11:08,583 00:11:11,333 -(laughing) -BOOGER: Yes! Hey! -(laughing) -BOOGER: Yes! Hey!
192 00:11:11,417 00:11:14,667 It's been delightful motoring with you. It's been delightful motoring with you.
193 00:11:14,750 00:11:17,500 Trevor, how was the trip? Trevor, how was the trip?
194 00:11:17,583 00:11:19,625 I only got carsick twice. I only got carsick twice.
195 00:11:19,709 00:11:22,208 Oh, ho, ho, ho! I'm proud of you, laddie. Oh, ho, ho, ho! I'm proud of you, laddie.
196 00:11:22,291 00:11:24,041 (both speaking Spanish) (both speaking Spanish)
197 00:11:27,291 00:11:29,542 I am--I am just so thrilled you all showed up. I am--I am just so thrilled you all showed up.
198 00:11:31,542 00:11:34,458 -BOTH: Stan! -Hi, guys. -BOTH: Stan! -Hi, guys.
199 00:11:34,542 00:11:37,375 -Stan! (laughs) -Booger! -Stan! (laughs) -Booger!
200 00:11:37,458 00:11:40,041 -Great to see you. -You too. -Great to see you. -You too.
201 00:11:40,125 00:11:42,250 Oh, Betty, you're gonna make such a pretty mom. Oh, Betty, you're gonna make such a pretty mom.
202 00:11:44,041 00:11:46,125 Stan, you are such a nerd. Stan, you are such a nerd.
203 00:11:46,208 00:11:49,375 Yeah, I sure am. I'm selling software up in Silicon Valley. Yeah, I sure am. I'm selling software up in Silicon Valley.
204 00:11:49,458 00:11:51,583 -Ah, that's fantastic. -Yeah, I've never been happier in my whole life. -Ah, that's fantastic. -Yeah, I've never been happier in my whole life.
205 00:11:51,667 00:11:53,458 (both guffawing) (both guffawing)
206 00:11:55,125 00:11:58,041 (chanting) (chanting)
207 00:11:58,125 00:12:01,250 Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
208 00:12:01,333 00:12:03,375 -Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! -(moans) -Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! -(moans)
209 00:12:03,458 00:12:06,083 Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
210 00:12:06,166 00:12:08,166 Nerds! Nerds...Nerds. Nerds! Nerds...Nerds.
211 00:12:10,166 00:12:14,000 Hey, it looks like you're breaking out. Hey, it looks like you're breaking out.
212 00:12:14,083 00:12:16,792 What are you talking about? I've always had a perfect complexion. What are you talking about? I've always had a perfect complexion.
213 00:12:18,083 00:12:19,959 I think you've got the chicken pox. I think you've got the chicken pox.
214 00:12:27,792 00:12:29,542 Easy on the sauce, Aaron. Easy on the sauce, Aaron.
215 00:12:29,625 00:12:31,750 You don't think I'm gonna go through this sober? You don't think I'm gonna go through this sober?
216 00:12:31,834 00:12:34,417 Come on. Relax. It's not as bad as all that. Come on. Relax. It's not as bad as all that.
217 00:12:34,500 00:12:36,959 What is this dog hair doing here? We don't have a dog. What is this dog hair doing here? We don't have a dog.
218 00:12:37,041 00:12:38,083 ROMEO: Excuse me. ROMEO: Excuse me.
219 00:12:38,166 00:12:40,542 Uh, do you prefer the salad forks to be chilled, Uh, do you prefer the salad forks to be chilled,
220 00:12:40,625 00:12:42,709 or the salad plates or both? or the salad plates or both?
221 00:12:42,792 00:12:45,375 -Well, I-- -Figure it out. -Well, I-- -Figure it out.
222 00:12:45,458 00:12:47,792 -Aaron! -Oh, I never. -Aaron! -Oh, I never.
223 00:12:47,875 00:12:52,125 I cannot work in a vacuum. I need input. I need feedback. I cannot work in a vacuum. I need input. I need feedback.
224 00:12:52,208 00:12:54,583 -Romeo! Romeo! -(mumbling) -Romeo! Romeo! -(mumbling)
225 00:12:54,667 00:12:57,458 This is so unfair. This is so unfair.
226 00:12:57,542 00:13:00,250 No one told me that I would be catering a wedding for a bunch No one told me that I would be catering a wedding for a bunch
227 00:13:00,333 00:13:01,709 of nerds. of nerds.
228 00:13:01,792 00:13:04,250 Romeo, don't leave, please. Please, no, no! Romeo, don't leave, please. Please, no, no!
229 00:13:04,333 00:13:07,000 -MAN: Eugene! Eugene! -(horn honks) -MAN: Eugene! Eugene! -(horn honks)
230 00:13:15,375 00:13:17,083 (mouthing words) (mouthing words)
231 00:13:18,875 00:13:21,542 Well, it looks as though the happy event is about to begin. Well, it looks as though the happy event is about to begin.
232 00:13:22,875 00:13:25,667 I worked hard my whole life. I worked hard my whole life.
233 00:13:25,750 00:13:31,208 I started out at 13 selling cheap porcelain knickknacks door-to-door. I started out at 13 selling cheap porcelain knickknacks door-to-door.
234 00:13:31,709 00:13:33,583 You know how hard that is? You know how hard that is?
235 00:13:34,208 00:13:36,125 After she marries that nose-picking "jibony," After she marries that nose-picking "jibony,"
236 00:13:36,208 00:13:38,333 I can kiss my political career good-bye. I can kiss my political career good-bye.
237 00:13:39,041 00:13:40,792 -Yeah. -Yeah. -Yeah. -Yeah.
238 00:13:40,875 00:13:44,041 And you can kiss taking over Humphrey Industries good-bye. And you can kiss taking over Humphrey Industries good-bye.
239 00:13:46,375 00:13:50,166 LEWIS: Yeah, I know. Maybe he'll let you guys live here. You'll have your own computer room. LEWIS: Yeah, I know. Maybe he'll let you guys live here. You'll have your own computer room.
240 00:13:51,041 00:13:54,083 You know, there's two days before the wedding. You know, there's two days before the wedding.
241 00:13:54,166 00:13:57,291 -A lot of things could happen. -Like what? -A lot of things could happen. -Like what?
242 00:13:57,375 00:14:00,875 Engagements get canceled all the time for all sorts of reasons. Engagements get canceled all the time for all sorts of reasons.
243 00:14:00,959 00:14:03,000 You mean break up the wedding? You mean break up the wedding?
244 00:14:03,083 00:14:05,834 We all want what's best for the family. We all want what's best for the family.
245 00:14:05,917 00:14:08,500 Break up my daughter's wedding? Break up my daughter's wedding?
246 00:14:08,583 00:14:11,291 Don't even think about it. You-you got a nasty mind, Chip. Don't even think about it. You-you got a nasty mind, Chip.
247 00:14:11,375 00:14:13,834 I hate when you have a nasty mind. Break up my daughter's wedding. I hate when you have a nasty mind. Break up my daughter's wedding.
248 00:14:13,917 00:14:15,750 Geez. Geez.
249 00:14:18,625 00:14:23,000 In addition to ruining any chance of a political career, In addition to ruining any chance of a political career,
250 00:14:23,083 00:14:24,834 think for one minute... think for one minute...
251 00:14:24,917 00:14:27,583 what this will do to the family tree. what this will do to the family tree.
252 00:14:41,500 00:14:44,750 You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose,
253 00:14:44,834 00:14:47,333 but you can't pick your relatives. but you can't pick your relatives.
254 00:14:52,166 00:14:54,166 Do whatever you have to do. Do whatever you have to do.
255 00:14:58,834 00:15:02,750 ♪♪ ♪♪
256 00:15:05,750 00:15:07,542 Smile pretty. Smile pretty. Smile pretty. Smile pretty.
257 00:15:07,625 00:15:10,166 -(camera clicks) -Thank you. -(camera clicks) -Thank you.
258 00:15:10,250 00:15:12,709 Name tags. Name tags, anyone? Name tags. Name tags, anyone?
259 00:15:12,792 00:15:15,041 TAKASHI: Right there. Right there, a picture. TAKASHI: Right there. Right there, a picture.
260 00:15:15,125 00:15:16,417 -Excuse me. -(camera clicks) -Excuse me. -(camera clicks)
261 00:15:16,500 00:15:18,917 Would you like a "Hello. My name is" tag? Would you like a "Hello. My name is" tag?
262 00:15:19,000 00:15:21,083 How nerdy can you get? How nerdy can you get?
263 00:15:21,166 00:15:24,750 Lois, what on earth are all these nerds doing here? Lois, what on earth are all these nerds doing here?
264 00:15:24,834 00:15:26,917 They're Booger's friends. They're Booger's friends.
265 00:15:27,000 00:15:30,417 (scoffs) Well, Aaron and Tippy must just be sick. (scoffs) Well, Aaron and Tippy must just be sick.
266 00:15:30,500 00:15:32,834 Oh, Tippy seems okay, but it's killing my brother. Oh, Tippy seems okay, but it's killing my brother.
267 00:15:35,500 00:15:37,583 Daddy. Daddy.
268 00:15:37,667 00:15:39,500 Hi. Lewis Skolnick, best man. Hi. Lewis Skolnick, best man.
269 00:15:41,166 00:15:44,709 -Figures. -Booger is just crazy about your daughter. -Figures. -Booger is just crazy about your daughter.
270 00:15:44,792 00:15:47,792 He's gonna make a wonderful husband, and that's all that really matters. He's gonna make a wonderful husband, and that's all that really matters.
271 00:15:47,875 00:15:49,917 -Right. -Y'know, once you get to know Booger, -Right. -Y'know, once you get to know Booger,
272 00:15:50,000 00:15:52,583 -you'll be very happy with what you see. -(slurping) -you'll be very happy with what you see. -(slurping)
273 00:15:52,667 00:15:55,625 I'll be very happy when I get away from you. I'll be very happy when I get away from you.
274 00:15:55,709 00:15:58,792 (guffawing) (guffawing)
275 00:15:58,875 00:16:01,417 MAN: Aaron, my dear man, I'm so sorry. MAN: Aaron, my dear man, I'm so sorry.
276 00:16:01,500 00:16:04,792 (chattering continues) (chattering continues)
277 00:16:04,875 00:16:06,834 You know, Booger, You know, Booger,
278 00:16:06,917 00:16:09,500 I do sense a bit of friction with your future father-in-law. I do sense a bit of friction with your future father-in-law.
279 00:16:09,583 00:16:11,583 -Friction? -Mm-hmm. -Friction? -Mm-hmm.
280 00:16:11,667 00:16:13,417 He hates my guts. He hates my guts.
281 00:16:15,333 00:16:16,333 Say hi to Stan. Say hi to Stan.
282 00:16:16,417 00:16:18,250 -(radio clicks) -Stan, this is Lewis. Come in. -(radio clicks) -Stan, this is Lewis. Come in.
283 00:16:18,333 00:16:20,667 I read you. I read you, Lewis. Over. I read you. I read you, Lewis. Over.
284 00:16:20,750 00:16:23,917 Yeah, I just wanted to see how you're feeling, man. Yeah, I just wanted to see how you're feeling, man.
285 00:16:24,000 00:16:27,166 Oh, pretty good. Just such a bummer I got the chicken pox. Oh, pretty good. Just such a bummer I got the chicken pox.
286 00:16:27,250 00:16:30,792 Y'know, I guess I was just too cool to get them as a kid. (laughs) Y'know, I guess I was just too cool to get them as a kid. (laughs)
287 00:16:30,875 00:16:34,166 Well, you know, sometimes we just have to play the cards we're dealt with. Well, you know, sometimes we just have to play the cards we're dealt with.
288 00:16:34,250 00:16:38,500 Yeah. You're always so perceptive, Lewis. I wish I could be like you. Yeah. You're always so perceptive, Lewis. I wish I could be like you.
289 00:16:38,583 00:16:40,542 Give it time, Stan. Over and out. Give it time, Stan. Over and out.
290 00:16:43,750 00:16:44,583 (slurping) (slurping)
291 00:16:44,667 00:16:48,166 Excuse me, Mr. Lewis, Mr. Booger. Excuse me, Mr. Lewis, Mr. Booger.
292 00:16:48,250 00:16:50,875 Why is that buttocks squished up against the window Why is that buttocks squished up against the window
293 00:16:50,959 00:16:53,166 -like a pressed Devonshire ham? -(screams) -like a pressed Devonshire ham? -(screams)
294 00:16:53,250 00:16:54,250 Ogre! Ogre!
295 00:16:57,583 00:17:00,208 -Lewey! -Ogre! How are you? -Lewey! -Ogre! How are you?
296 00:17:00,291 00:17:02,375 -How you doing? See it? -Yeah, I saw it. -How you doing? See it? -Yeah, I saw it.
297 00:17:02,458 00:17:04,625 -That's Ogre. -Oh. -That's Ogre. -Oh.
298 00:17:04,709 00:17:08,333 -Ogre! Ahhh...! -Little buddy! How you doing? -Ogre! Ahhh...! -Little buddy! How you doing?
299 00:17:08,417 00:17:11,166 (chanting) (chanting)
300 00:17:11,250 00:17:15,667 Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!
301 00:17:15,750 00:17:18,333 This is the worst party we've ever been to. Good night. This is the worst party we've ever been to. Good night.
302 00:17:18,417 00:17:21,917 This was unbelievable. Thank God my daughter's a lesbian. This was unbelievable. Thank God my daughter's a lesbian.
303 00:17:23,500 00:17:26,083 -Ogre! Ogre! -Hey, did you see my buns? -Ogre! Ogre! -Hey, did you see my buns?
304 00:17:26,166 00:17:29,166 -Uh-oh. -What? Who is it? -Uh-oh. -What? Who is it?
305 00:17:30,500 00:17:33,208 -Mylan Whitfield. -Huh? -Mylan Whitfield. -Huh?
306 00:17:33,291 00:17:35,291 The chairman of the Republican party. The chairman of the Republican party.
307 00:17:39,792 00:17:42,208 Nice of you to come, Mylan. Could I get you a drink? Nice of you to come, Mylan. Could I get you a drink?
308 00:17:42,291 00:17:44,875 The strongest one you've got. The strongest one you've got.
309 00:17:44,959 00:17:48,625 (belching) (belching)
310 00:17:51,125 00:17:54,125 (belching continues) (belching continues)
311 00:17:58,458 00:18:02,083 -I think this is a record. -(continues belching) -I think this is a record. -(continues belching)
312 00:18:02,166 00:18:04,625 -(all laughing) -OGRE: Still the world's champ. -(all laughing) -OGRE: Still the world's champ.
313 00:18:06,166 00:18:08,583 -I drink to that. -Heyyy... -I drink to that. -Heyyy...
314 00:18:08,667 00:18:11,792 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
315 00:18:11,875 00:18:14,417 That's your future son-in-law. That's your future son-in-law.
316 00:18:14,500 00:18:17,667 And now a very special treat. And now a very special treat.
317 00:18:19,333 00:18:24,083 -My fiancée's turn. -Oh. -My fiancée's turn. -Oh.
318 00:18:24,166 00:18:28,417 Oh, no, Jeanie, please. Don't, don't, don't do it, please. Please, don't, please. Oh, no, Jeanie, please. Don't, don't, don't do it, please. Please, don't, please.
319 00:18:28,500 00:18:30,709 Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
320 00:18:32,792 00:18:34,542 Don't do it, please. Don't do it. Don't do it, please. Don't do it.
321 00:18:34,625 00:18:37,667 (gulps, belches) (gulps, belches)
322 00:18:43,959 00:18:48,083 -She's doing a good job. -(mumbling, belches) -She's doing a good job. -(mumbling, belches)
323 00:18:48,166 00:18:50,417 Booger must be so proud. Booger must be so proud.
324 00:18:50,500 00:18:53,125 -(belching) -(applause) -(belching) -(applause)
325 00:18:53,208 00:18:55,000 Wow! Can you believe it? Wow! Can you believe it?
326 00:18:58,000 00:19:01,417 -Whoo! -She's got the croup. -Whoo! -She's got the croup.
327 00:19:03,208 00:19:07,250 My Jeanie, she can belch with the best of them. My Jeanie, she can belch with the best of them.
328 00:19:10,709 00:19:12,333 Hey, your sorority sisters are here. Hey, your sorority sisters are here.
329 00:19:12,417 00:19:14,458 OGRE: It's the Omega Mu's. OGRE: It's the Omega Mu's.
330 00:19:14,542 00:19:17,709 (all mooing) (all mooing)
331 00:19:22,500 00:19:25,083 They're all voters, Mylan. They're all voters, Mylan.
332 00:19:25,166 00:19:27,625 Booger! Booger! Booger! Booger! Booger! Booger!
333 00:19:27,709 00:19:30,667 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
334 00:19:30,750 00:19:31,667 (mic feedback) (mic feedback)
335 00:19:31,750 00:19:34,208 Why are they always chanting? Why are they always chanting?
336 00:19:35,083 00:19:39,333 You see, the younger generation today, they--they-- You see, the younger generation today, they--they--
337 00:19:39,417 00:19:41,709 I think it's kind of fun. I think it's kind of fun.
338 00:19:41,792 00:19:43,250 You're wearing two different socks. You're wearing two different socks.
339 00:19:45,208 00:19:47,834 BOOGER: Well, (clears throat) I wanna welcome you all to the wedding BOOGER: Well, (clears throat) I wanna welcome you all to the wedding
340 00:19:47,917 00:19:50,000 that none of us ever thought would happen. that none of us ever thought would happen.
341 00:19:50,083 00:19:54,125 -(all cheering) -I guess hell must have frozen over after all. -(all cheering) -I guess hell must have frozen over after all.
342 00:19:54,208 00:19:56,709 (all laughing) (all laughing)
343 00:19:56,792 00:19:58,250 Come on now. Come on now.
344 00:20:00,041 00:20:02,166 -♪♪ (rim shot) -Boom! -♪♪ (rim shot) -Boom!
345 00:20:02,250 00:20:05,959 But, Jeanie, you don't know about this, But, Jeanie, you don't know about this,
346 00:20:06,041 00:20:09,542 but I'm going to sing a little song for you. but I'm going to sing a little song for you.
347 00:20:09,625 00:20:14,458 It's something that I think of whenever I think of you. It's something that I think of whenever I think of you.
348 00:20:14,959 00:20:17,000 -WOMAN: Awww. -WOMAN #2: So romantic. -WOMAN: Awww. -WOMAN #2: So romantic.
349 00:20:20,458 00:20:21,959 MAN: Nice spot light. MAN: Nice spot light.
350 00:20:23,792 00:20:26,291 ♪♪ (keyboard) ♪♪ (keyboard)
351 00:20:28,458 00:20:32,500 ♪ Jean, Jean ♪ ♪ Jean, Jean ♪
352 00:20:32,583 00:20:35,291 ♪ Roses are red ♪ ♪ Roses are red ♪
353 00:20:37,625 00:20:40,333 ♪ And all the leaves ♪ ♪ And all the leaves ♪
354 00:20:40,417 00:20:42,625 ♪ Have gone green ♪ ♪ Have gone green ♪
355 00:20:44,583 00:20:48,875 ♪ And the clouds are so low ♪ ♪ And the clouds are so low ♪
356 00:20:48,959 00:20:52,500 ♪ You can touch them and so ♪ ♪ You can touch them and so ♪
357 00:20:54,500 00:20:57,792 ♪ Come on out to the meadow ♪ ♪ Come on out to the meadow ♪
358 00:20:57,875 00:21:00,500 ♪ Jean ♪ ♪ Jean ♪
359 00:21:02,500 00:21:06,083 ♪ Jean, Jean ♪ ♪ Jean, Jean ♪
360 00:21:06,166 00:21:10,375 ♪ You're young and alive ♪ ♪ You're young and alive ♪
361 00:21:12,500 00:21:17,041 ♪ Come out of your half dreamed dream ♪ ♪ Come out of your half dreamed dream ♪
362 00:21:17,125 00:21:18,625 Sorry, Aaron. Gotta go. Sorry, Aaron. Gotta go.
363 00:21:18,709 00:21:20,250 You will come to the bridal shower? You will come to the bridal shower?
364 00:21:20,333 00:21:23,041 No can do. Important engagement. No can do. Important engagement.
365 00:21:23,125 00:21:26,208 ♪ If you will to the top of the hill ♪ ♪ If you will to the top of the hill ♪
366 00:21:26,291 00:21:27,792 I thought you were gonna do something. I thought you were gonna do something.
367 00:21:27,875 00:21:28,834 I'm working on it. I'm working on it.
368 00:21:28,917 00:21:30,917 I'm gonna start first thing in the morning. I'm gonna start first thing in the morning.
369 00:21:31,000 00:21:32,625 Start now, doofus. Start now, doofus.
370 00:21:32,709 00:21:36,583 ♪ Bonnie Jean ♪♪ ♪ Bonnie Jean ♪♪
371 00:21:36,667 00:21:38,208 Oh. Oh.
372 00:21:39,375 00:21:41,792 ♪♪ (piano ends) ♪♪ (piano ends)
373 00:21:41,875 00:21:44,291 (applause) (applause)
374 00:21:44,375 00:21:46,458 For those of you in the audience here For those of you in the audience here
375 00:21:46,542 00:21:50,125 who are blues aficionados, we have a little, uh-- who are blues aficionados, we have a little, uh--
376 00:21:50,208 00:21:53,125 It's a little bit dissonant, but I think you'll like it, It's a little bit dissonant, but I think you'll like it,
377 00:21:53,208 00:21:55,917 'cause with the fluteophones, it's kind of special. 'cause with the fluteophones, it's kind of special.
378 00:21:56,000 00:21:57,709 Flutes up. Flutes up.
379 00:21:59,000 00:22:03,125 A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three. A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three.
380 00:22:03,208 00:22:05,583 -WOMAN: Even I can't take this. Good night. -♪♪ (playing of key) -WOMAN: Even I can't take this. Good night. -♪♪ (playing of key)
381 00:22:12,375 00:22:16,333 ♪ Many were the wild notes her merry voice would pour ♪ ♪ Many were the wild notes her merry voice would pour ♪
382 00:22:16,417 00:22:22,125 ♪ Many were the blackbirds that wobbled them all ♪ ♪ Many were the blackbirds that wobbled them all ♪
383 00:22:22,208 00:22:28,208 TREVOR: ♪ Oh, I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair ♪ TREVOR: ♪ Oh, I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair ♪
384 00:22:28,291 00:22:32,166 MAN: ♪ Yo, sexy boy just think of me ♪ MAN: ♪ Yo, sexy boy just think of me ♪
385 00:22:32,250 00:22:35,208 ♪ As your love toy Come wind me up ♪ ♪ As your love toy Come wind me up ♪
386 00:22:35,291 00:22:39,083 ♪♪ (continues, indistinct) ♪♪ (continues, indistinct)
387 00:22:41,542 00:22:43,458 JEANIE (laughing): Hi guys! JEANIE (laughing): Hi guys!
388 00:22:43,542 00:22:46,125 -LEWIS: Hey! -BOOGER: (laughing) -LEWIS: Hey! -BOOGER: (laughing)
389 00:22:46,208 00:22:48,291 -Hey, can I cut in? -Sure thing. -Hey, can I cut in? -Sure thing.
390 00:22:50,583 00:22:52,583 BOOGER: If I may. BOOGER: If I may.
391 00:22:53,583 00:22:58,166 Betty, pregnant women have always made me boggy. Betty, pregnant women have always made me boggy.
392 00:22:58,250 00:23:02,041 Oh, Booger. You're just incorrigible. Oh, Booger. You're just incorrigible.
393 00:23:02,125 00:23:04,375 -I try to be. -(laughing) -I try to be. -(laughing)
394 00:23:04,458 00:23:06,250 Excuse me. Excuse me.
395 00:23:06,333 00:23:10,500 I just want you to know that I'm really happy for you. I just want you to know that I'm really happy for you.
396 00:23:10,583 00:23:13,375 Booger lets you be yourself, Booger lets you be yourself,
397 00:23:13,458 00:23:17,083 and I really like what I see. and I really like what I see.
398 00:23:17,291 00:23:21,041 I can't believe this is coming out of the mouth of my perfect sister. I can't believe this is coming out of the mouth of my perfect sister.
399 00:23:21,125 00:23:25,166 Who knows? Maybe this wedding has really brought us together. Who knows? Maybe this wedding has really brought us together.
400 00:23:27,750 00:23:29,208 I love you, Jeanie. I love you, Jeanie.
401 00:23:29,291 00:23:31,375 I love you, Gaylord. I love you, Gaylord.
402 00:23:31,458 00:23:34,792 -(sobbing) -Oh! -(sobbing) -Oh!
403 00:23:37,792 00:23:39,709 Oh, girls. Oh, girls.
404 00:23:41,542 00:23:44,709 Once you go nerd, you'll never go back. Once you go nerd, you'll never go back.
405 00:23:44,792 00:23:47,625 (all laughing) (all laughing)
406 00:23:48,500 00:23:51,500 I would just die for your cheekbones. I would just die for your cheekbones.
407 00:23:52,166 00:23:53,625 Oh. Oh.
408 00:23:58,834 00:24:01,000 Hey, handsome. Hey, handsome.
409 00:24:03,291 00:24:04,667 Wanna dance? Wanna dance?
410 00:24:05,458 00:24:07,291 (exhales) Sure. (exhales) Sure.
411 00:24:17,000 00:24:20,000 BOOGER: Good show, Harold. BOOGER: Good show, Harold.
412 00:24:23,208 00:24:25,834 MAN: ♪ I wanna be your sexy boy ♪ MAN: ♪ I wanna be your sexy boy ♪
413 00:24:25,917 00:24:29,667 ♪ Just think of me as your love toy ♪ ♪ Just think of me as your love toy ♪
414 00:24:29,750 00:24:32,959 ♪ Come wind me up Don't need no keys ♪ ♪ Come wind me up Don't need no keys ♪
415 00:24:33,041 00:24:34,917 ♪ Just pull the strings ♪ ♪ Just pull the strings ♪
416 00:24:35,000 00:24:37,792 What a prenuptial party. What a prenuptial party.
417 00:24:37,875 00:24:41,834 Really, so enjoyable. Just tremendous. (whistles) Really, so enjoyable. Just tremendous. (whistles)
418 00:24:41,917 00:24:45,792 ♪ I'll bring you joy I'll make you dance ♪ ♪ I'll bring you joy I'll make you dance ♪
419 00:24:45,875 00:24:47,792 ♪ I'll make you shake this sexy boy ♪ ♪ I'll make you shake this sexy boy ♪
420 00:24:47,875 00:24:51,291 TIPPY: Jeanie and her friends are having a good time. TIPPY: Jeanie and her friends are having a good time.
421 00:24:51,375 00:24:54,125 Everybody who's important is gone. Everybody who's important is gone.
422 00:24:54,208 00:24:57,792 What an embarrassment. No, no, no, look. Your sister's still here. What an embarrassment. No, no, no, look. Your sister's still here.
423 00:24:57,875 00:25:01,125 ♪♪ (continues, indistinct) ♪♪ (continues, indistinct)
424 00:25:01,208 00:25:04,542 My sister stays to the end of supermarket openings. My sister stays to the end of supermarket openings.
425 00:25:04,625 00:25:06,959 BOOGER: Hey, Takashi, whatever happened to Gilbert? BOOGER: Hey, Takashi, whatever happened to Gilbert?
426 00:25:07,041 00:25:08,333 Mrs. Humphrey, Mrs. Humphrey,
427 00:25:08,417 00:25:09,959 -Yes? -Can I have this dance? -Yes? -Can I have this dance?
428 00:25:10,041 00:25:12,959 -Oh, I don't think I could. -I think you could. -Oh, I don't think I could. -I think you could.
429 00:25:13,041 00:25:15,750 (laughs) There's a little nerd in everyone. (laughs) There's a little nerd in everyone.
430 00:25:17,417 00:25:19,542 There's no nerd in me, pal. There's no nerd in me, pal.
431 00:25:19,625 00:25:23,500 ♪ I wanna be your sexy boy ♪ ♪ I wanna be your sexy boy ♪
432 00:25:23,583 00:25:27,875 ♪ Believe me I'm the real McCoy ♪ ♪ Believe me I'm the real McCoy ♪
433 00:25:27,959 00:25:30,458 -♪♪ (continues, indistinct) -(belches) -♪♪ (continues, indistinct) -(belches)
434 00:25:30,542 00:25:33,375 Yo! Mama-san! Yo! Mama-san!
435 00:25:35,250 00:25:38,709 -(kiaiing) -Lois, wait! -(kiaiing) -Lois, wait!
436 00:25:39,750 00:25:41,500 (shuddering) (shuddering)
437 00:25:41,583 00:25:46,917 ♪ I wanna be I wanna be your sexy boy ♪ ♪ I wanna be I wanna be your sexy boy ♪
438 00:25:47,000 00:25:49,458 ♪ Your sexy boy ♪ ♪ Your sexy boy ♪
439 00:25:54,625 00:25:56,709 ♪ Turn out the lights ♪ ♪ Turn out the lights ♪
440 00:25:56,792 00:25:58,750 TIPPY: Hey, you nerds really know how to party. TIPPY: Hey, you nerds really know how to party.
441 00:25:58,834 00:26:01,333 (Lewis guffaws) (Lewis guffaws)
442 00:26:01,417 00:26:03,333 BOOGER: I'm just getting started, baby. BOOGER: I'm just getting started, baby.
443 00:26:03,417 00:26:06,667 Romeo, have you seen Chip? Romeo, have you seen Chip?
444 00:26:06,750 00:26:10,834 Oh, sure, that's exactly what I have on my mind, worrying about where Chip is. Oh, sure, that's exactly what I have on my mind, worrying about where Chip is.
445 00:26:10,917 00:26:14,542 Oh, gee, where could Chip be? Here, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip. Oh, gee, where could Chip be? Here, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip.
446 00:26:14,625 00:26:17,250 Here, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip. Here, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip.
447 00:26:17,333 00:26:19,792 How would you like to lose about 12 teeth? How would you like to lose about 12 teeth?
448 00:26:20,834 00:26:22,792 Bitch. Bitch.
449 00:26:29,625 00:26:32,083 CHIP: I'm looking for dirt, scandal, CHIP: I'm looking for dirt, scandal,
450 00:26:32,166 00:26:34,291 some deviant behavior, some deviant behavior,
451 00:26:34,375 00:26:37,792 a skeleton in a closet that would be so horrible, a skeleton in a closet that would be so horrible,
452 00:26:37,875 00:26:40,083 it would break up a wedding. it would break up a wedding.
453 00:26:40,166 00:26:42,208 And money's no object. And money's no object.
454 00:26:42,291 00:26:44,583 -(chair squeaks) -How did you find me? -(chair squeaks) -How did you find me?
455 00:26:44,667 00:26:46,417 Let's just say through a friend. Let's just say through a friend.
456 00:26:46,500 00:26:48,583 And why do you wanna ruin the wedding? And why do you wanna ruin the wedding?
457 00:26:48,667 00:26:51,417 Well, my father-in-law's thinking of getting into politics, Well, my father-in-law's thinking of getting into politics,
458 00:26:51,500 00:26:53,542 and the groom would ruin his chances. and the groom would ruin his chances.
459 00:26:53,625 00:26:56,041 And if the father-in-law doesn't enter the political arena, And if the father-in-law doesn't enter the political arena,
460 00:26:56,125 00:26:58,250 you don't take over the family business. you don't take over the family business.
461 00:26:58,333 00:27:03,000 Yes. Well, I suppose that would happen, but that's not my major concern. Yes. Well, I suppose that would happen, but that's not my major concern.
462 00:27:04,166 00:27:08,291 -It's nerds, isn't it? -How did you know that? -It's nerds, isn't it? -How did you know that?
463 00:27:08,375 00:27:11,583 -I'm a detective. -Wow. -I'm a detective. -Wow.
464 00:27:11,667 00:27:15,125 I had a case with nerds a couple months ago. I had a case with nerds a couple months ago.
465 00:27:15,208 00:27:18,625 -They can be very slippery. -(chair squeaks) -They can be very slippery. -(chair squeaks)
466 00:27:18,709 00:27:20,458 How do I know you're any good? How do I know you're any good?
467 00:27:20,542 00:27:22,792 (sighs) You know the dirt on the royal family? (sighs) You know the dirt on the royal family?
468 00:27:22,875 00:27:24,375 You? You?
469 00:27:25,583 00:27:27,792 (laughs) Well, let's do business. (laughs) Well, let's do business.
470 00:27:27,875 00:27:29,542 -(chair squeaks) -All right. -(chair squeaks) -All right.
471 00:27:33,750 00:27:36,333 -What's the groom's name? -Uh, Dudley Dawson. -What's the groom's name? -Uh, Dudley Dawson.
472 00:27:36,417 00:27:38,709 But his friends call him "Booger." But his friends call him "Booger."
473 00:27:40,250 00:27:43,250 -Well, that's the first thing in our favor. -What-what's that? -Well, that's the first thing in our favor. -What-what's that?
474 00:27:43,333 00:27:48,417 With a name like Booger, it shouldn't be too hard to get dirt on him. Right? With a name like Booger, it shouldn't be too hard to get dirt on him. Right?
475 00:27:49,750 00:27:51,542 TREVOR: Good night, Mr. Ogre. TREVOR: Good night, Mr. Ogre.
476 00:27:53,750 00:27:55,709 OGRE: Good night, Trevor. OGRE: Good night, Trevor.
477 00:27:55,792 00:27:57,959 TAKASHI: Good night, Lamar. TAKASHI: Good night, Lamar.
478 00:27:58,041 00:28:00,333 -STAN: Good night, Judy. -JUDY: Good night, Stan. -STAN: Good night, Judy. -JUDY: Good night, Stan.
479 00:28:00,417 00:28:02,542 LAMAR: Good night, Takashi. LAMAR: Good night, Takashi.
480 00:28:04,458 00:28:05,834 (toenail clangs in can) (toenail clangs in can)
481 00:28:05,917 00:28:08,333 -Betty. -Hmm? -Betty. -Hmm?
482 00:28:08,417 00:28:11,333 Why can't we videotape the birth? Why can't we videotape the birth?
483 00:28:11,417 00:28:14,667 I just don't want the whole world to see my privates. I just don't want the whole world to see my privates.
484 00:28:14,750 00:28:17,166 But I've already bought a high-definition, But I've already bought a high-definition,
485 00:28:17,250 00:28:19,542 Dolby stereo, 3-D helmet cam. Dolby stereo, 3-D helmet cam.
486 00:28:21,208 00:28:23,834 You know you'll show the video to someone. You know you'll show the video to someone.
487 00:28:23,917 00:28:27,333 I'm really surprised at you, Betty. I'm really surprised at you, Betty.
488 00:28:27,417 00:28:30,667 Not having the confidence to think that I wouldn't show the video to someone. Not having the confidence to think that I wouldn't show the video to someone.
489 00:28:30,750 00:28:32,625 (sighs) (sighs)
490 00:28:34,959 00:28:36,625 -Maybe I would. -(toenails clanging) -Maybe I would. -(toenails clanging)
491 00:28:37,959 00:28:40,542 -I probably would. -Hmm. -I probably would. -Hmm.
492 00:28:40,625 00:28:43,875 I definitely would, but it's only because no one is prouder than I am I definitely would, but it's only because no one is prouder than I am
493 00:28:43,959 00:28:46,542 of our unborn fetal son. of our unborn fetal son.
494 00:28:46,625 00:28:48,583 And your privates. (guffaws) And your privates. (guffaws)
495 00:28:48,667 00:28:52,041 Lewis Tarada Skolnick! Lewis Tarada Skolnick!
496 00:28:52,125 00:28:54,041 Ow! Betty, I was only kidding. Ow! Betty, I was only kidding.
497 00:28:54,125 00:28:56,667 -Ow! -Are you all right, honey? -Ow! -Are you all right, honey?
498 00:28:56,750 00:28:59,792 I'm fine. I just have a little side ache. Ohhh... I'm fine. I just have a little side ache. Ohhh...
499 00:29:03,291 00:29:05,709 You are so wonderful. You are so wonderful.
500 00:29:05,792 00:29:08,041 I bet I'm the only woman in America I bet I'm the only woman in America
501 00:29:08,125 00:29:11,709 to have a certified midwife as a husband. to have a certified midwife as a husband.
502 00:29:11,792 00:29:16,083 That's because I don't want anybody but me delivering our unborn baby son. That's because I don't want anybody but me delivering our unborn baby son.
503 00:29:16,166 00:29:18,750 -(giggles) -Hey, Betty. -(giggles) -Hey, Betty.
504 00:29:18,834 00:29:21,583 -Hmm? -Would you like to have some pickles and ice cream? -Hmm? -Would you like to have some pickles and ice cream?
505 00:29:21,667 00:29:23,458 Pickles, ice cream. Pickles, ice cream. Pickles, ice cream. Pickles, ice cream.
506 00:29:23,542 00:29:25,750 I would love some pickles and ice cream. I would love some pickles and ice cream.
507 00:29:25,834 00:29:28,500 -Oh, yea, Mama. -I'll be right back. -Oh, yea, Mama. -I'll be right back.
508 00:29:30,834 00:29:33,917 Oh, honey, I don't want you to go now. It's after 3:00. Oh, honey, I don't want you to go now. It's after 3:00.
509 00:29:34,000 00:29:36,792 If my unborn fetal son and my beloved wife If my unborn fetal son and my beloved wife
510 00:29:36,875 00:29:39,375 want pickles and ice cream, I don't care what time it is. want pickles and ice cream, I don't care what time it is.
511 00:29:39,458 00:29:41,750 -(giggles) -Eskimo kiss? -(giggles) -Eskimo kiss?
512 00:29:41,834 00:29:43,917 -Butterfly. -Eskimo. -Butterfly. -Eskimo.
513 00:29:44,000 00:29:47,166 -Butterfly. Butterfly. -Eskimo. Eskimo. -Butterfly. Butterfly. -Eskimo. Eskimo.
514 00:29:50,166 00:29:52,750 I love you, you big nerd. I love you, you big nerd.
515 00:29:52,834 00:29:56,875 I know you are, but what am I? (guffaws) I know you are, but what am I? (guffaws)
516 00:29:59,542 00:30:02,625 -Booger. -Hey, Lewis. Where you going? -Booger. -Hey, Lewis. Where you going?
517 00:30:02,709 00:30:05,000 Oh, I was just gonna take a cruise in the party truck Oh, I was just gonna take a cruise in the party truck
518 00:30:05,083 00:30:06,959 and get Betty some pickles and ice cream. and get Betty some pickles and ice cream.
519 00:30:07,041 00:30:10,750 -You're gonna make the best father. -You really think so? -You're gonna make the best father. -You really think so?
520 00:30:11,709 00:30:13,667 I know so. I know so.
521 00:30:14,500 00:30:15,834 Hey, you wanna come with? Hey, you wanna come with?
522 00:30:16,667 00:30:18,041 No. No.
523 00:30:20,083 00:30:22,834 -Are you feeling all right, Booger? -Lewis... -Are you feeling all right, Booger? -Lewis...
524 00:30:23,375 00:30:25,125 I'm gonna say something to you I'm gonna say something to you
525 00:30:25,208 00:30:27,542 that I would never tell anybody else in the world. that I would never tell anybody else in the world.
526 00:30:32,917 00:30:34,834 I'm a little scared. I'm a little scared.
527 00:30:34,917 00:30:36,917 Scared? You? Scared? You?
528 00:30:38,750 00:30:40,583 Well, what are you scared about, Booger? Well, what are you scared about, Booger?
529 00:30:42,959 00:30:46,834 I've been single a long time, Lewis. I've been single a long time, Lewis.
530 00:30:46,917 00:30:50,250 I've enjoyed a lot of Mu's. I've enjoyed a lot of Mu's.
531 00:30:50,875 00:30:52,375 My life has been blessed. My life has been blessed.
532 00:30:52,458 00:30:55,959 (chuckles) And they've enjoyed you too, pal. (laughs) (chuckles) And they've enjoyed you too, pal. (laughs)
533 00:30:56,041 00:30:58,125 Now I'm hanging it all up. Now I'm hanging it all up.
534 00:30:59,375 00:31:04,458 But what happens if I run into a woman who really curdles my blood? But what happens if I run into a woman who really curdles my blood?
535 00:31:04,542 00:31:07,333 'Cause you know me, Lewis. You know how it is. 'Cause you know me, Lewis. You know how it is.
536 00:31:07,417 00:31:11,542 Our eyes meet across a crowded room, and bammo. Our eyes meet across a crowded room, and bammo.
537 00:31:12,542 00:31:15,000 We're talkin' "nutso" time. We're talkin' "nutso" time.
538 00:31:15,083 00:31:19,041 Bananas. We're talking out of my brains, Bananas. We're talking out of my brains,
539 00:31:19,125 00:31:22,250 can't control the faculties, the mind follows the genitals time. can't control the faculties, the mind follows the genitals time.
540 00:31:22,333 00:31:24,375 Because that's what happens, Lewis, Because that's what happens, Lewis,
541 00:31:24,458 00:31:29,375 anytime I meet a woman who really makes me wanna take a bath. anytime I meet a woman who really makes me wanna take a bath.
542 00:31:29,458 00:31:33,709 Well, I have manly urges too, Booger, I mean, like any other red-blooded American male. Well, I have manly urges too, Booger, I mean, like any other red-blooded American male.
543 00:31:33,792 00:31:36,709 Well, of course you do. How do you handle it? Well, of course you do. How do you handle it?
544 00:31:36,792 00:31:39,250 I just think of Betty or computers. I just think of Betty or computers.
545 00:31:39,333 00:31:43,000 No, see, not me. (exhales) No, see, not me. (exhales)
546 00:31:44,792 00:31:49,083 I'm like a train wreck on the Long Island Railroad. I'm like a train wreck on the Long Island Railroad.
547 00:31:49,166 00:31:54,583 I may see trouble down the tracks, but this trainman can't pull the switch. I may see trouble down the tracks, but this trainman can't pull the switch.
548 00:31:54,667 00:31:57,083 Well, nobody likes to party more than I do, Booger. Well, nobody likes to party more than I do, Booger.
549 00:31:57,166 00:31:59,750 Except for maybe you. Except for maybe you.
550 00:31:59,834 00:32:04,125 But my life got so much better since I married Betty. And yours is going to too, But my life got so much better since I married Betty. And yours is going to too,
551 00:32:04,208 00:32:06,750 provided you're ready to compromise provided you're ready to compromise
552 00:32:06,834 00:32:10,083 and work hard, incredibly hard, on your impending union with Jean. and work hard, incredibly hard, on your impending union with Jean.
553 00:32:10,166 00:32:12,542 -You have to work really hard, huh? -Uh huh. -You have to work really hard, huh? -Uh huh.
554 00:32:12,625 00:32:14,542 I mean, it's not any harder than, say, I mean, it's not any harder than, say,
555 00:32:14,625 00:32:16,083 designing cornering velocities for the Japanese Bullet Train. designing cornering velocities for the Japanese Bullet Train.
556 00:32:16,166 00:32:20,792 But you should get some sleep. I mean, tomorrow is a huge day for you. But you should get some sleep. I mean, tomorrow is a huge day for you.
557 00:32:20,875 00:32:24,750 You got the all-you-can-eat nerd bridal shower at the Rump Roast Room at noon. You got the all-you-can-eat nerd bridal shower at the Rump Roast Room at noon.
558 00:32:24,834 00:32:28,875 And then there's my surprise theme bachelor stag party at night. And then there's my surprise theme bachelor stag party at night.
559 00:32:28,959 00:32:30,875 You forgot about that, didn't you? You forgot about that, didn't you?
560 00:32:31,959 00:32:33,917 You're gonna nail me, aren't you? You're gonna nail me, aren't you?
561 00:32:34,000 00:32:37,208 You're darn tootin'. See ya, Booger. You're darn tootin'. See ya, Booger.
562 00:32:37,291 00:32:40,041 -Hey, Lewis. -Yeah? -Hey, Lewis. -Yeah?
563 00:32:41,583 00:32:43,041 Thanks. Thanks.
564 00:32:45,417 00:32:47,250 I love you, Booger. I love you, Booger.
565 00:32:48,667 00:32:50,542 I love you too. I love you too.
566 00:32:57,542 00:33:00,583 ♪♪ ♪♪
567 00:33:12,417 00:33:14,625 Bibs, anyone? Bibs, anyone?
568 00:33:14,709 00:33:16,500 LEWIS: Don't be bashful. It's all you can eat. LEWIS: Don't be bashful. It's all you can eat.
569 00:33:16,583 00:33:20,625 So, uh, Russia's in, you know, bad shape. So, uh, Russia's in, you know, bad shape.
570 00:33:20,709 00:33:23,709 Decentralization of the economy and the privatization of industry, Decentralization of the economy and the privatization of industry,
571 00:33:23,792 00:33:26,166 while, you know, leading to these personal freedoms, while, you know, leading to these personal freedoms,
572 00:33:26,250 00:33:28,500 it's cost some great hardships. it's cost some great hardships.
573 00:33:28,583 00:33:32,709 That's why I, Ogre, I think I'm gonna go over there and see if I can help them out. That's why I, Ogre, I think I'm gonna go over there and see if I can help them out.
574 00:33:32,792 00:33:35,083 You know what I mean? That's no good. You know what I mean? That's no good.
575 00:33:37,959 00:33:40,709 (laughing) (laughing)
576 00:33:40,792 00:33:42,959 (gasps) (gasps)
577 00:33:43,041 00:33:46,333 -What the-- -Say "cheese." -What the-- -Say "cheese."
578 00:33:46,417 00:33:50,250 -BOTH: Cheese. -TAKASHI: Okay, now stay there, stay there. -BOTH: Cheese. -TAKASHI: Okay, now stay there, stay there.
579 00:33:52,083 00:33:56,291 -Lewis to Stan, Lewis to Stan. Come in, Stan. -I read you Lewis. Over. -Lewis to Stan, Lewis to Stan. Come in, Stan. -I read you Lewis. Over.
580 00:33:56,375 00:33:59,333 Uh, listen. This is your 2:00 pox report. How-how you feeling, Stan? Uh, listen. This is your 2:00 pox report. How-how you feeling, Stan?
581 00:33:59,417 00:34:02,291 Much better now, thanks to Judy. Much better now, thanks to Judy.
582 00:34:02,375 00:34:05,333 If you don't take care of the pox, they can scab and leave scars. If you don't take care of the pox, they can scab and leave scars.
583 00:34:05,417 00:34:07,875 -Over and out. -Honey. -Over and out. -Honey.
584 00:34:07,959 00:34:11,208 -Hmm? -What's Trevor Gulf doing? -Hmm? -What's Trevor Gulf doing?
585 00:34:11,291 00:34:13,875 I-I think he's mooning us. I-I think he's mooning us.
586 00:34:13,959 00:34:15,834 That's not a moon. That's the San Joaquin Valley. That's not a moon. That's the San Joaquin Valley.
587 00:34:15,917 00:34:20,041 -Trevor, no! -Oh, big smile. -Trevor, no! -Oh, big smile.
588 00:34:20,125 00:34:23,917 Trevor, come on. It isn't nice to moon. Trevor, come on. It isn't nice to moon.
589 00:34:24,000 00:34:27,333 -Oh, it isn't? -No, it isn't. -Oh, it isn't? -No, it isn't.
590 00:34:27,417 00:34:30,834 -Mr. Ogre mooned. -Well, you see, Trevor, -Mr. Ogre mooned. -Well, you see, Trevor,
591 00:34:30,917 00:34:33,875 Mr. Ogre's a converted nerd, okay? Mr. Ogre's a converted nerd, okay?
592 00:34:33,959 00:34:37,875 He used to be a jock. He's still a little rough around the edges. He used to be a jock. He's still a little rough around the edges.
593 00:34:37,959 00:34:40,458 Jacques? Is he from France? Jacques? Is he from France?
594 00:34:42,917 00:34:45,375 (guffaws) (guffaws)
595 00:34:45,458 00:34:49,291 -My condolences, Aaron. -You gotta take the good with the bad. -My condolences, Aaron. -You gotta take the good with the bad.
596 00:34:49,375 00:34:52,333 -Sorry, Aaron. -Hey, if it's not one thing, it's another. -Sorry, Aaron. -Hey, if it's not one thing, it's another.
597 00:34:53,500 00:34:55,750 Mylan, thank you for coming. Mylan, thank you for coming.
598 00:34:55,834 00:34:57,792 Thank you for sending the limo for me. Thank you for sending the limo for me.
599 00:34:57,875 00:35:00,625 Thank you for sending the bauble to my secretary. Thank you for sending the bauble to my secretary.
600 00:35:00,709 00:35:03,792 And the entire party thanks you for sending the check. And the entire party thanks you for sending the check.
601 00:35:03,875 00:35:06,583 -Just being a good Republican, Mylan. -Hmm, hmm... -Just being a good Republican, Mylan. -Hmm, hmm...
602 00:35:06,667 00:35:08,500 Come along, dear. Come along, dear.
603 00:35:09,709 00:35:11,792 Nice seeing you again, Flo. Nice seeing you again, Flo.
604 00:35:15,333 00:35:18,583 -I've done a little homework on Dudley "Booger" Dawson. -Oh, yeah? -I've done a little homework on Dudley "Booger" Dawson. -Oh, yeah?
605 00:35:18,667 00:35:20,917 -He's an attorney all right. -Well, that's good. -He's an attorney all right. -Well, that's good.
606 00:35:21,000 00:35:23,041 A personal injury attorney. A personal injury attorney.
607 00:35:23,834 00:35:25,792 He's an ambulance chaser? He's an ambulance chaser?
608 00:35:26,834 00:35:28,667 It just gets worse. It just gets worse.
609 00:35:29,834 00:35:33,166 -Well, it'll all be over soon. -What are you gonna do? -Well, it'll all be over soon. -What are you gonna do?
610 00:35:33,250 00:35:35,709 You just get ready for a bombshell. You just get ready for a bombshell.
611 00:35:39,709 00:35:42,291 Ogre, thanks, man. Ogre, thanks, man.
612 00:35:42,375 00:35:45,417 That's--That's really thoughtful. That's--That's really thoughtful.
613 00:35:45,500 00:35:47,625 It was really expensive. (chuckles) It was really expensive. (chuckles)
614 00:35:47,709 00:35:53,041 So, uh, I guess it's on to Lewis and Betty's present, huh? So, uh, I guess it's on to Lewis and Betty's present, huh?
615 00:35:59,333 00:36:01,625 -(all gasping) -Oh, wow! -(all gasping) -Oh, wow!
616 00:36:01,709 00:36:05,792 -WOMAN: Look at that. -A ski exerciser! -WOMAN: Look at that. -A ski exerciser!
617 00:36:05,875 00:36:08,792 I've been dying for one of these! I've been dying for one of these!
618 00:36:08,875 00:36:12,542 -Have you? -Boss! -Have you? -Boss!
619 00:36:12,625 00:36:16,125 They now have anything ever sold on an infomercial. They now have anything ever sold on an infomercial.
620 00:36:16,208 00:36:17,875 Oh, shut up, Aaron. Oh, shut up, Aaron.
621 00:36:17,959 00:36:21,875 TAKASHI: Hey, everybody, everybody, Booger's parents are here! TAKASHI: Hey, everybody, everybody, Booger's parents are here!
622 00:36:21,959 00:36:25,208 Mr. and Mrs. Booger! Mr. and Mrs. Booger! Mr. and Mrs. Booger! Mr. and Mrs. Booger!
623 00:36:25,291 00:36:26,166 (applause) (applause)
624 00:36:26,250 00:36:29,417 Mom? Dad! Mom? Dad!
625 00:36:33,041 00:36:35,542 They look like they just fell off a pickle truck. (laughs) They look like they just fell off a pickle truck. (laughs)
626 00:36:35,625 00:36:36,709 -Chip! -Ow! -Chip! -Ow!
627 00:36:36,792 00:36:40,667 Folks, everybody, excuse me. These are my parents. Folks, everybody, excuse me. These are my parents.
628 00:36:40,750 00:36:41,667 -Oh! -Oh! -Oh! -Oh!
629 00:36:41,750 00:36:43,458 (shutter clicks) (shutter clicks)
630 00:36:46,250 00:36:49,500 We're so glad that you're here, Mr. and Mrs. Dawson. We're so glad that you're here, Mr. and Mrs. Dawson.
631 00:36:49,583 00:36:51,667 (cheering) (cheering)
632 00:36:53,083 00:36:55,917 I am flabbergasted. I am flabbergasted.
633 00:36:56,000 00:37:00,083 We would both like to thank all of you from the bottom of our hearts We would both like to thank all of you from the bottom of our hearts
634 00:37:00,166 00:37:03,500 for this wonderful shower you're throwing us. for this wonderful shower you're throwing us.
635 00:37:03,583 00:37:07,291 It's probably the first shower he's ever had. (guffaws) It's probably the first shower he's ever had. (guffaws)
636 00:37:10,834 00:37:14,041 MR. DAWSON: No, he showered regularly. Every other night in the summer, MR. DAWSON: No, he showered regularly. Every other night in the summer,
637 00:37:14,125 00:37:15,959 and weekly in the winter. and weekly in the winter.
638 00:37:25,083 00:37:29,208 Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to jump off the dock. Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to jump off the dock.
639 00:37:29,291 00:37:33,583 -Yeah! -Hold it, everybody. -Yeah! -Hold it, everybody.
640 00:37:33,667 00:37:36,709 I'd like to offer my toast. I'd like to offer my toast.
641 00:37:36,792 00:37:38,875 ALL: Yeah. Yeah. ALL: Yeah. Yeah.
642 00:37:38,959 00:37:42,000 WOMAN: Get the glass. Oh, here, take this. WOMAN: Get the glass. Oh, here, take this.
643 00:37:43,375 00:37:45,041 To Booger's love child. To Booger's love child.
644 00:37:49,041 00:37:51,166 Love child? What are - -what are you talking about? Love child? What are - -what are you talking about?
645 00:37:53,041 00:37:55,709 I'm talking about the daughter you had 12 years ago, I'm talking about the daughter you had 12 years ago,
646 00:37:55,792 00:37:59,583 out of wedlock, with a young woman in Sandusky, Ohio. out of wedlock, with a young woman in Sandusky, Ohio.
647 00:37:59,667 00:38:02,166 All right, Booger! Yeah, bud! All right, Booger! Yeah, bud!
648 00:38:04,542 00:38:10,375 You have a child that my little girl doesn't know about? You have a child that my little girl doesn't know about?
649 00:38:10,458 00:38:13,041 I am appalled, Booger. Appalled. I am appalled, Booger. Appalled.
650 00:38:13,125 00:38:16,291 -And so is my wife. Right? See? -But-- -And so is my wife. Right? See? -But--
651 00:38:16,375 00:38:18,291 I don't know anything about this. I don't know anything about this.
652 00:38:18,375 00:38:21,125 I have no child in Sandusky, Ohio. I have no child in Sandusky, Ohio.
653 00:38:21,208 00:38:23,792 -The hell you don't! -(all gasp) -The hell you don't! -(all gasp)
654 00:38:23,875 00:38:26,583 This is a fairly specious charge. This is a fairly specious charge.
655 00:38:26,667 00:38:29,166 Where's your proof, Chip? Where's your proof, Chip?
656 00:38:29,250 00:38:30,959 Yeah, where's your proof, Chip? Yeah, where's your proof, Chip?
657 00:38:31,041 00:38:32,542 ALL: Yeah. ALL: Yeah.
658 00:38:33,750 00:38:35,542 My proof is right here. My proof is right here.
659 00:38:37,709 00:38:41,667 I'd like you to meet Detective First Class Chad Penrod. I'd like you to meet Detective First Class Chad Penrod.
660 00:38:41,750 00:38:46,250 Detective Penrod, does Dudley Dawson, alias Booger, Detective Penrod, does Dudley Dawson, alias Booger,
661 00:38:46,333 00:38:51,250 have or have not a 12-year-old child in Sandusky, Ohio? have or have not a 12-year-old child in Sandusky, Ohio?
662 00:38:51,333 00:38:54,125 I checked the birth records in Sandusky and found I checked the birth records in Sandusky and found
663 00:38:54,208 00:38:56,667 that on March 19, 1981, that on March 19, 1981,
664 00:38:56,750 00:38:59,166 a certain Heidi Dawson a certain Heidi Dawson
665 00:38:59,250 00:39:01,875 was born to a Miss Cathleen Turtle-- was born to a Miss Cathleen Turtle--
666 00:39:01,959 00:39:04,959 Turtletaub and a Mr. Dudley Dawson. Turtletaub and a Mr. Dudley Dawson.
667 00:39:05,792 00:39:08,500 -Cool. -Wait! -Cool. -Wait!
668 00:39:08,583 00:39:12,000 If the parents of the alleged love child were never married, If the parents of the alleged love child were never married,
669 00:39:12,083 00:39:16,875 why isn't the child's name Heidi Turtletaub? why isn't the child's name Heidi Turtletaub?
670 00:39:16,959 00:39:21,291 Exactly. Why isn't the child's name Heidi Turtletaub? Exactly. Why isn't the child's name Heidi Turtletaub?
671 00:39:21,375 00:39:23,417 -Yes. -(neck bones crack) -Yes. -(neck bones crack)
672 00:39:25,750 00:39:26,959 Beats me. Beats me.
673 00:39:28,000 00:39:30,667 If the child were born to an unmarried mother, If the child were born to an unmarried mother,
674 00:39:30,750 00:39:35,625 wouldn't the so-said mother have given the aforementioned daughter her last name? wouldn't the so-said mother have given the aforementioned daughter her last name?
675 00:39:37,208 00:39:39,208 PENROD: Well, I do know this. PENROD: Well, I do know this.
676 00:39:39,291 00:39:42,208 The child's nickname is Booger. The child's nickname is Booger.
677 00:39:42,291 00:39:44,750 -(all gasp) -Yeah! -(all gasp) -Yeah!
678 00:39:45,458 00:39:46,875 I think we should leave, Jeanie. I think we should leave, Jeanie.
679 00:39:46,959 00:39:49,166 Oh. Oh.
680 00:39:49,250 00:39:52,875 Do you wanna marry a man who doesn't tell you that he has a child? Do you wanna marry a man who doesn't tell you that he has a child?
681 00:39:52,959 00:39:55,417 Who knows what he'll lie about next? Who knows what he'll lie about next?
682 00:39:55,500 00:39:58,208 You saw The Crying Game. You saw The Crying Game.
683 00:39:58,291 00:40:01,083 How do we know he even is a man? How do we know he even is a man?
684 00:40:01,166 00:40:04,417 -(gasps) -(all gasping) -(gasps) -(all gasping)
685 00:40:04,500 00:40:07,250 -LAMAR: Don't you touch me! -Get your hands off me! -LAMAR: Don't you touch me! -Get your hands off me!
686 00:40:07,333 00:40:10,083 -LAMAR: Don't you touch me! -I caught you red-handed! -LAMAR: Don't you touch me! -I caught you red-handed!
687 00:40:10,166 00:40:12,250 -LAMAR: Get off of me! -LEWIS: Hey, break it up! -LAMAR: Get off of me! -LEWIS: Hey, break it up!
688 00:40:12,333 00:40:16,041 -Break it up! -I'm gonna tell everybody! Don't you get me started. -Break it up! -I'm gonna tell everybody! Don't you get me started.
689 00:40:16,125 00:40:18,250 -I heard-- -Word! -I heard-- -Word!
690 00:40:18,333 00:40:21,333 I can't believe what got into you two. This is supposed to be a happy occasion. I can't believe what got into you two. This is supposed to be a happy occasion.
691 00:40:23,458 00:40:26,250 I'm especially surprised at you, Lamar. I'm especially surprised at you, Lamar.
692 00:40:26,333 00:40:28,709 Now what was going on? Now what was going on?
693 00:40:28,792 00:40:31,542 Well, Chip was crackin' on Booger's parents. Well, Chip was crackin' on Booger's parents.
694 00:40:31,625 00:40:33,792 Crackin' on my parents? Crackin' on my parents?
695 00:40:35,625 00:40:37,792 What kind of cracks, Chip? What kind of cracks, Chip?
696 00:40:37,875 00:40:41,250 -Booger. -Yeah, what kind? -Booger. -Yeah, what kind?
697 00:40:41,333 00:40:44,917 -As your best man, I strongly advise you just let it go. -I'm not going to let it go. -As your best man, I strongly advise you just let it go. -I'm not going to let it go.
698 00:40:45,000 00:40:48,083 On the other hand, I'm prepared to explore other avenues with you as well. On the other hand, I'm prepared to explore other avenues with you as well.
699 00:40:48,166 00:40:51,458 -What kind of cracks, Chip? -(stammering) -What kind of cracks, Chip? -(stammering)
700 00:40:51,542 00:40:54,959 Chip said that your mama was so ugly, that the Elephant Man paid to see her. Chip said that your mama was so ugly, that the Elephant Man paid to see her.
701 00:40:55,041 00:40:57,166 (laughing) (laughing)
702 00:41:01,375 00:41:05,500 The point is you have a 12-year-old daughter in Sandusky, Ohio! The point is you have a 12-year-old daughter in Sandusky, Ohio!
703 00:41:05,583 00:41:10,625 This has nothing to do with my having a child in Sandusky, Ohio. This has nothing to do with my having a child in Sandusky, Ohio.
704 00:41:10,709 00:41:12,709 That isn't what this is about at all. That isn't what this is about at all.
705 00:41:14,375 00:41:17,709 -This is because I'm a nerd. -(all gasping) -This is because I'm a nerd. -(all gasping)
706 00:41:19,041 00:41:20,834 And it has been since the beginning. And it has been since the beginning.
707 00:41:20,917 00:41:23,125 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
708 00:41:23,208 00:41:26,500 Why else would someone rummage through my private life with a detective? Why else would someone rummage through my private life with a detective?
709 00:41:26,583 00:41:31,458 And then announce this... detestable fabrication, And then announce this... detestable fabrication,
710 00:41:31,542 00:41:35,166 this--this tissue of lies this--this tissue of lies
711 00:41:35,250 00:41:38,208 -on the happiest day of my life? -Oh, Booger. -on the happiest day of my life? -Oh, Booger.
712 00:41:39,917 00:41:42,709 Hath not a nerd eyes? Hath not a nerd eyes?
713 00:41:44,417 00:41:46,709 When you prick us, do we not bleed? When you prick us, do we not bleed?
714 00:41:48,208 00:41:51,959 I am tired of the reckless allegations, I am tired of the reckless allegations,
715 00:41:52,041 00:41:54,208 the snide snickering, the snide snickering,
716 00:41:54,291 00:41:57,458 the talking behind backs, the sly innuendos, the talking behind backs, the sly innuendos,
717 00:41:57,542 00:41:59,917 the looking down on us. the looking down on us.
718 00:42:03,250 00:42:06,458 We are what we are. We are what we are.
719 00:42:06,542 00:42:08,959 -Aren't we? -NERDS: We are! -Aren't we? -NERDS: We are!
720 00:42:09,041 00:42:12,500 -And we're proud of what we are. -NERDS: We are! -And we're proud of what we are. -NERDS: We are!
721 00:42:12,583 00:42:15,875 And we are not about to allow ourselves And we are not about to allow ourselves
722 00:42:15,959 00:42:18,959 to be intimidated by a bunch of-- to be intimidated by a bunch of--
723 00:42:19,041 00:42:22,000 Booger, don't say it! Booger, don't say it!
724 00:42:22,083 00:42:27,125 -Say it, Booger! -Nouveau-riche pigs! -Say it, Booger! -Nouveau-riche pigs!
725 00:42:28,917 00:42:30,667 OGRE: There you go. OGRE: There you go.
726 00:42:32,250 00:42:36,834 You have... the audacity... You have... the audacity...
727 00:42:36,917 00:42:39,709 to utter the most... to utter the most...
728 00:42:39,792 00:42:43,125 morally reprehensible slur to these... morally reprehensible slur to these...
729 00:42:44,583 00:42:47,417 fine, upstanding, fine, upstanding,
730 00:42:47,500 00:42:49,792 self-made businesspeople. self-made businesspeople.
731 00:42:51,834 00:42:54,583 Shame on you, Booger. Shame on you, Booger.
732 00:42:54,667 00:42:56,709 Shame on all of you nerds. Shame on all of you nerds.
733 00:42:56,792 00:42:58,125 Ogre, no! Ogre, no!
734 00:43:08,000 00:43:09,709 -(gasps) -WOMAN: Oh! -(gasps) -WOMAN: Oh!
735 00:43:09,792 00:43:12,041 The prosecution rests. The prosecution rests.
736 00:43:12,125 00:43:15,000 I've had it with you nerds! I've had it with you nerds!
737 00:43:16,667 00:43:18,500 All right, everyone, just cool it! All right, everyone, just cool it!
738 00:43:22,000 00:43:25,208 -Oh, what the hell. -We've got too much class for this kind of crap. -Oh, what the hell. -We've got too much class for this kind of crap.
739 00:43:26,333 00:43:28,750 -Booger! -Jeanie! -Booger! -Jeanie!
740 00:43:28,834 00:43:32,375 -Booger! -TAKASHI: (yells) -Booger! -TAKASHI: (yells)
741 00:43:33,959 00:43:35,458 Ahhh! Ahhh!
742 00:43:39,667 00:43:41,667 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaa! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaa!
743 00:43:52,083 00:43:54,208 (woman shrieking) (woman shrieking)
744 00:44:16,542 00:44:19,542 So you might have a daughter in Sandusky, Ohio, huh? So you might have a daughter in Sandusky, Ohio, huh?
745 00:44:22,709 00:44:25,375 (sighs) I don't know. (sighs) I don't know.
746 00:44:26,583 00:44:28,500 It's certainly possible. It's certainly possible.
747 00:44:30,250 00:44:35,250 God knows my seed is as strong as an Alaskan salmon. God knows my seed is as strong as an Alaskan salmon.
748 00:44:37,083 00:44:39,875 And I partied pretty hard in the early '80s. And I partied pretty hard in the early '80s.
749 00:44:41,417 00:44:43,208 In Sandusky? In Sandusky?
750 00:44:45,083 00:44:48,500 Apart from Akron, I probably spent more time in Sandusky Apart from Akron, I probably spent more time in Sandusky
751 00:44:48,583 00:44:50,583 than any place on earth. than any place on earth.
752 00:44:53,250 00:44:55,125 Damn it! Damn it!
753 00:44:58,417 00:45:01,250 Everything was going so great. Now it's ruined. Everything was going so great. Now it's ruined.
754 00:45:05,458 00:45:07,792 Ah, Booger. Ah, Booger.
755 00:45:11,125 00:45:13,291 Your wedding isn't ruined. Your wedding isn't ruined.
756 00:45:14,834 00:45:16,792 What are you talking about? What are you talking about?
757 00:45:17,750 00:45:21,291 We just had a food fight. We just had a food fight.
758 00:45:22,625 00:45:26,125 People don't have... People don't have...
759 00:45:27,667 00:45:31,583 food fights at their... food fights at their...
760 00:45:31,667 00:45:33,542 bridal showers! bridal showers!
761 00:45:33,625 00:45:35,583 But I did. But I did.
762 00:45:37,000 00:45:39,709 Some nouveau-riche guy, Some nouveau-riche guy,
763 00:45:39,792 00:45:42,417 looked like he could have been a banker, looked like he could have been a banker,
764 00:45:42,500 00:45:45,542 is mashing... is mashing...
765 00:45:45,625 00:45:50,458 handfuls of garni up my nostrils! handfuls of garni up my nostrils!
766 00:45:52,583 00:45:54,667 (sighs) I know things look bleak. (sighs) I know things look bleak.
767 00:45:56,000 00:45:57,959 But they've been bleak before. But they've been bleak before.
768 00:45:58,041 00:46:01,083 Do you remember at Adams College? Do you remember at Adams College?
769 00:46:01,166 00:46:03,291 We were exiled from the dorms We were exiled from the dorms
770 00:46:03,375 00:46:05,917 and forced to live in the gymnasium. and forced to live in the gymnasium.
771 00:46:06,000 00:46:08,417 Do you remember in Fort Lauderdale, Do you remember in Fort Lauderdale,
772 00:46:08,500 00:46:11,917 when we were persecuted into subjugation and incarcerated? when we were persecuted into subjugation and incarcerated?
773 00:46:12,000 00:46:16,041 How about when Orrin Price framed me... How about when Orrin Price framed me...
774 00:46:16,125 00:46:18,250 for embezzling... for embezzling...
775 00:46:18,333 00:46:22,625 Adams College computer research funds? Adams College computer research funds?
776 00:46:22,709 00:46:27,083 We may have been subjected to the yoke of nerd oppression before, We may have been subjected to the yoke of nerd oppression before,
777 00:46:27,166 00:46:30,375 -but we're not gonna be subjected to it again! -(bangs mug) -but we're not gonna be subjected to it again! -(bangs mug)
778 00:46:31,375 00:46:35,250 This wedding is not over! The son of a gun has just begun! This wedding is not over! The son of a gun has just begun!
779 00:46:37,667 00:46:39,875 Come on, pal. Come on, pal.
780 00:46:40,834 00:46:43,208 (crying) (crying)
781 00:46:44,375 00:46:46,375 (ringing) (ringing)
782 00:46:51,709 00:46:54,917 BOOGER: Meet me at the Wood Bridge in half an hour. BOOGER: Meet me at the Wood Bridge in half an hour.
783 00:46:57,875 00:46:59,875 Please? Please?
784 00:47:02,542 00:47:06,250 - Hello? -(sobs) - Hello? -(sobs)
785 00:47:06,333 00:47:10,500 I'm sorry. Is this 555-4264? I'm sorry. Is this 555-4264?
786 00:47:13,000 00:47:15,375 Knock, knock. Is this a private party? Knock, knock. Is this a private party?
787 00:47:17,291 00:47:18,667 Have a drink, Chip. Have a drink, Chip.
788 00:47:18,750 00:47:21,333 Thanks, Dad--Aaron. (laughs) Thanks, Dad--Aaron. (laughs)
789 00:47:21,417 00:47:23,834 (sighs) (sighs)
790 00:47:23,917 00:47:26,583 I'm taking a lot of flack from this from my wife. I'm taking a lot of flack from this from my wife.
791 00:47:27,917 00:47:30,667 I thought the, uh, food fight was a nice plus though. I thought the, uh, food fight was a nice plus though.
792 00:47:30,750 00:47:34,291 This is a career day for you, Chip. This is a career day for you, Chip.
793 00:47:34,375 00:47:39,166 As a matter of fact, this is the first good thing I could ever remember you doing. As a matter of fact, this is the first good thing I could ever remember you doing.
794 00:47:39,250 00:47:41,542 Oh, come on. I've done lots of good things. Oh, come on. I've done lots of good things.
795 00:47:42,291 00:47:43,625 Name one. Name one.
796 00:47:43,709 00:47:47,083 -Are you serious? -Name one. -Are you serious? -Name one.
797 00:47:48,917 00:47:50,792 Well, there was, uh-- Well, there was, uh--
798 00:47:51,917 00:47:55,125 -Uh-- -You don't do anything and I pay you a fortune. -Uh-- -You don't do anything and I pay you a fortune.
799 00:47:55,208 00:47:56,875 But look. But look.
800 00:47:56,959 00:47:59,625 You made up for everything. You're the man You made up for everything. You're the man
801 00:47:59,959 00:48:03,291 who drove the Booger man out of my daughter's life. who drove the Booger man out of my daughter's life.
802 00:48:04,792 00:48:05,792 (exhales) (exhales)
803 00:48:08,083 00:48:10,250 Daddy, I have to talk to you. Daddy, I have to talk to you.
804 00:48:11,125 00:48:12,542 I'm so confused. I'm so confused.
805 00:48:14,291 00:48:17,333 First of all, I just wanna thank you for being so concerned about me. First of all, I just wanna thank you for being so concerned about me.
806 00:48:17,417 00:48:19,709 I know in my heart I know in my heart
807 00:48:19,792 00:48:22,709 you only want what's best for me, you only want what's best for me,
808 00:48:22,792 00:48:25,083 no matter what you say or do or how you behave. no matter what you say or do or how you behave.
809 00:48:25,166 00:48:27,458 JEANIE: (sighs) JEANIE: (sighs)
810 00:48:28,125 00:48:30,959 I sure do love that Booger though. I sure do love that Booger though.
811 00:48:31,625 00:48:34,583 I can't believe he's got a kid he never told me about. I can't believe he's got a kid he never told me about.
812 00:48:38,834 00:48:40,917 (groans) (groans)
813 00:48:41,000 00:48:45,125 (scoffs) Kids--you gotta love 'em. (scoffs) Kids--you gotta love 'em.
814 00:48:47,500 00:48:48,500 (exhales) (exhales)
815 00:48:49,834 00:48:53,667 It, um-- It is true, Chip. It, um-- It is true, Chip.
816 00:48:54,208 00:48:55,375 Is what true? Is what true?
817 00:48:57,667 00:49:01,583 That, um, he has a child That, um, he has a child
818 00:49:01,667 00:49:03,792 with an unwed mother and all that? with an unwed mother and all that?
819 00:49:03,875 00:49:07,417 Yeah, sure it's true. The detective I hired found it. Yeah, sure it's true. The detective I hired found it.
820 00:49:07,500 00:49:12,083 Because it, uh-- it wouldn't be good if it wasn't true. Because it, uh-- it wouldn't be good if it wasn't true.
821 00:49:12,166 00:49:17,250 -It's true. -Then, uh--then it's good. -It's true. -Then, uh--then it's good.
822 00:49:17,333 00:49:21,458 -'Cause it's true. -Right. If it's true, it's good. -'Cause it's true. -Right. If it's true, it's good.
823 00:49:21,542 00:49:24,291 And, uh, I feel good about that. (clicks tongue) And, uh, I feel good about that. (clicks tongue)
824 00:49:24,375 00:49:26,166 Good. Good.
825 00:49:28,333 00:49:31,375 (birds chirping) (birds chirping)
826 00:49:46,041 00:49:47,750 (gasps) (gasps)
827 00:49:47,834 00:49:50,208 -Booger! -Jeanie! -Booger! -Jeanie!
828 00:49:53,417 00:49:56,208 Let's go to our secret spot so no one will see us. Let's go to our secret spot so no one will see us.
829 00:49:58,333 00:50:02,458 -I love you, Booger. -Oh, I love you too. -I love you, Booger. -Oh, I love you too.
830 00:50:02,542 00:50:06,625 But marriage is about trust. No secrets from each other, remember? But marriage is about trust. No secrets from each other, remember?
831 00:50:06,709 00:50:08,750 I don't have any secrets. I don't have any secrets.
832 00:50:09,959 00:50:12,375 Well, what about that child in Sandusky, Ohio? Well, what about that child in Sandusky, Ohio?
833 00:50:12,458 00:50:16,083 I don't have a child in Sandusky, Ohio! I don't have a child in Sandusky, Ohio!
834 00:50:17,625 00:50:20,375 Well, why would Detective Penrod say that you did? Well, why would Detective Penrod say that you did?
835 00:50:20,458 00:50:22,500 Well, I don't know! Well, I don't know!
836 00:50:22,583 00:50:25,333 I don't even know who Detective Penrod is! I don't even know who Detective Penrod is!
837 00:50:25,417 00:50:28,417 I'm a condemned man and I don't have a child! I'm a condemned man and I don't have a child!
838 00:50:33,125 00:50:34,583 I believe you, Booger. I believe you, Booger.
839 00:50:37,250 00:50:38,458 You do? You do?
840 00:50:38,542 00:50:41,500 Yes, because marriage is about trust. Yes, because marriage is about trust.
841 00:50:41,583 00:50:46,041 And I trust you... completely. And I trust you... completely.
842 00:50:46,125 00:50:47,583 BOOGER: (laughs) BOOGER: (laughs)
843 00:50:49,125 00:50:52,709 All I know is that I love you and I think we should continue the wedding. All I know is that I love you and I think we should continue the wedding.
844 00:50:52,792 00:50:55,750 Oh, Booger, I-- I don't know what to do. I-- Oh, Booger, I-- I don't know what to do. I--
845 00:50:55,834 00:51:00,333 I--I don't know. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore. I--I don't know. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore.
846 00:51:01,834 00:51:03,792 I, uh-- I, uh--
847 00:51:04,625 00:51:06,583 I know it's a day early, but... I know it's a day early, but...
848 00:51:09,625 00:51:11,458 I'd like you to read my valentine. I'd like you to read my valentine.
849 00:51:18,792 00:51:21,375 (giggling) (giggling)
850 00:51:21,458 00:51:23,291 -Open it up. -(laughs) -Open it up. -(laughs)
851 00:51:24,291 00:51:25,792 A cow. Oh. A cow. Oh.
852 00:51:30,208 00:51:33,291 "An empty spot was on my heart "An empty spot was on my heart
853 00:51:33,375 00:51:36,583 until I met you, O Valentine. until I met you, O Valentine.
854 00:51:36,667 00:51:40,125 Then the spot filled in. My heart was whole. Then the spot filled in. My heart was whole.
855 00:51:40,208 00:51:44,709 I could love for the first time in my life I could love for the first time in my life
856 00:51:44,792 00:51:47,959 now that you are going to become now that you are going to become
857 00:51:51,667 00:51:53,625 my wife." my wife."
858 00:51:57,834 00:52:01,583 -Ahh, the hell with my dad! -Uh, huh, that's exactly what I'd hoped you'd say. -Ahh, the hell with my dad! -Uh, huh, that's exactly what I'd hoped you'd say.
859 00:52:01,667 00:52:02,625 (laughing) (laughing)
860 00:52:02,709 00:52:05,417 (lowing) (lowing)
861 00:52:05,500 00:52:08,125 -Again. -(laughs) -Again. -(laughs)
862 00:52:08,208 00:52:12,041 (lowing) (lowing)
863 00:52:13,709 00:52:17,959 (laughs) Oh, I can't tell you what it does to me to hear you moo again. (laughs) Oh, I can't tell you what it does to me to hear you moo again.
864 00:52:18,041 00:52:21,291 -(lowing) -(mooing) -(lowing) -(mooing)
865 00:52:21,375 00:52:24,333 (mooing) (mooing)
866 00:52:24,417 00:52:27,041 -Oh, ho, ho, Booger! -Jeanie! -Oh, ho, ho, Booger! -Jeanie!
867 00:52:27,709 00:52:31,709 -(laughs) -(mooing) -(laughs) -(mooing)
868 00:52:35,875 00:52:37,917 (lawn mower) (lawn mower)
869 00:52:39,667 00:52:42,333 -It's on! -What's on? -It's on! -What's on?
870 00:52:42,417 00:52:44,959 The wedding is on again! The wedding is on again!
871 00:52:45,041 00:52:48,917 First it's on, then it's off. Now it's on again. First it's on, then it's off. Now it's on again.
872 00:52:49,000 00:52:51,166 I am on an emotional roller coaster. I am on an emotional roller coaster.
873 00:52:51,250 00:52:54,000 -I am not a yo-yo. -(scoffs) -I am not a yo-yo. -(scoffs)
874 00:52:54,083 00:52:57,125 -(lawn mower) -(tray slams) -(lawn mower) -(tray slams)
875 00:53:00,875 00:53:04,291 How can the wedding be on? We all can't even be in the same room together. How can the wedding be on? We all can't even be in the same room together.
876 00:53:04,375 00:53:06,500 Never in the history of weddings Never in the history of weddings
877 00:53:06,583 00:53:09,458 has there ever been a clearer case of incompatibility. has there ever been a clearer case of incompatibility.
878 00:53:09,542 00:53:14,291 Aaron, Jeanie is thrilled. Think about her for once. Aaron, Jeanie is thrilled. Think about her for once.
879 00:53:14,375 00:53:17,667 I am thinking about her. The man is a liar and a child deserter. I am thinking about her. The man is a liar and a child deserter.
880 00:53:17,750 00:53:20,333 If she goes through with this wedding, I'm not gonna have anything to do with it! If she goes through with this wedding, I'm not gonna have anything to do with it!
881 00:53:20,417 00:53:22,709 Zero, nothing, nada, zip! Zero, nothing, nada, zip!
882 00:53:24,458 00:53:25,709 -(chair ganging) -Ow! -(chair ganging) -Ow!
883 00:53:25,792 00:53:27,375 (laughing) (laughing)
884 00:53:27,458 00:53:30,959 Okay, all right. Anybody who feels that Booger could have Okay, all right. Anybody who feels that Booger could have
885 00:53:31,041 00:53:33,834 an illegitimate child in Sandusky, Ohio, raise your right hands. an illegitimate child in Sandusky, Ohio, raise your right hands.
886 00:53:38,667 00:53:41,000 (shouts) Opposed? (shouts) Opposed?
887 00:53:41,083 00:53:43,417 -You don't think it's possible? -No, I do not. -You don't think it's possible? -No, I do not.
888 00:53:43,500 00:53:45,834 Booger may be Booger, but he always took precautions. Booger may be Booger, but he always took precautions.
889 00:53:45,917 00:53:50,250 -That is right. He always did wear condoms. -Oh. Condom. -That is right. He always did wear condoms. -Oh. Condom.
890 00:53:50,333 00:53:52,917 -So he couldn't have a child. -No way. -So he couldn't have a child. -No way.
891 00:53:53,000 00:53:56,709 (car approaching) (car approaching)
892 00:53:56,792 00:54:00,834 -Harold, where you going? -LAMAR: I don't know, but I would guess Aunt Lois's. -Harold, where you going? -LAMAR: I don't know, but I would guess Aunt Lois's.
893 00:54:00,917 00:54:03,083 Are you scoring, Harold? Are you scoring, Harold?
894 00:54:03,166 00:54:06,667 Well, I certainly wouldn't tell you if I was. Well, I certainly wouldn't tell you if I was.
895 00:54:06,750 00:54:09,917 But I guarantee ya I ain't going over there for breakfast. But I guarantee ya I ain't going over there for breakfast.
896 00:54:10,000 00:54:12,458 (all laughing) (all laughing)
897 00:54:13,458 00:54:15,792 -(tires screeching) -Ya-hoo! -(tires screeching) -Ya-hoo!
898 00:54:15,875 00:54:18,834 -(horn honking) -(tires squealing) -(horn honking) -(tires squealing)
899 00:54:20,375 00:54:22,959 -It's on! -BOTH: What's on? -It's on! -BOTH: What's on?
900 00:54:23,875 00:54:25,083 The wedding! The wedding!
901 00:54:25,166 00:54:28,333 -(tires screeching) -(horn honking) -(tires screeching) -(horn honking)
902 00:54:34,333 00:54:36,750 Uh, I-I thought you told me the love child was real. Uh, I-I thought you told me the love child was real.
903 00:54:36,834 00:54:39,709 I didn't say she was real. I said it was a great idea. I didn't say she was real. I said it was a great idea.
904 00:54:39,792 00:54:44,917 But it hasn't turned out to be such a great idea, has it? But it hasn't turned out to be such a great idea, has it?
905 00:54:45,000 00:54:49,083 If Aaron finds out I've lied to him, I'm dead. He's gonna fire me. If Aaron finds out I've lied to him, I'm dead. He's gonna fire me.
906 00:54:49,166 00:54:52,917 (sighs) Hey, if he fires you, isn't he also cutting off his own daughter? (sighs) Hey, if he fires you, isn't he also cutting off his own daughter?
907 00:54:53,000 00:54:56,750 He's gonna give her an allowance that I'm not allowed to touch. He's gonna give her an allowance that I'm not allowed to touch.
908 00:54:56,834 00:54:59,375 Well, (lips smack) that'd do it. Well, (lips smack) that'd do it.
909 00:54:59,709 00:55:01,458 (moans) (moans)
910 00:55:01,542 00:55:03,917 Oh, relax will ya. There are plenty of ways to ruin a wedding. Oh, relax will ya. There are plenty of ways to ruin a wedding.
911 00:55:04,000 00:55:05,959 -Such as? -It's easy. -Such as? -It's easy.
912 00:55:06,041 00:55:07,291 You know what bachelor parties are like. You know what bachelor parties are like.
913 00:55:07,375 00:55:11,667 Beautiful women, liquor flowing, raw naked temptation. Beautiful women, liquor flowing, raw naked temptation.
914 00:55:12,041 00:55:14,458 Booger's bound to succumb. Booger's bound to succumb.
915 00:55:14,542 00:55:17,166 According to his bio, he's got the self-control of a brahma bull. According to his bio, he's got the self-control of a brahma bull.
916 00:55:17,250 00:55:20,291 Uhh, how would we, uh-- How would we show proof of this? Uhh, how would we, uh-- How would we show proof of this?
917 00:55:20,375 00:55:22,834 We'll make one of America's We'll make one of America's
918 00:55:22,917 00:55:26,417 least funny home videos. least funny home videos.
919 00:55:26,500 00:55:30,250 -(chuckling) -(chuckling) -(chuckling) -(chuckling)
920 00:55:31,333 00:55:32,375 Do it. Do it.
921 00:55:34,208 00:55:37,583 Hey. There's a horse here named Big Booger. Hey. There's a horse here named Big Booger.
922 00:55:41,083 00:55:44,125 ♪♪ ♪♪
923 00:55:48,625 00:55:51,834 (groans) I missed the food fight. (groans) I missed the food fight.
924 00:55:51,917 00:55:54,959 And now I'm gonna miss Booger's surprise theme bachelor party. And now I'm gonna miss Booger's surprise theme bachelor party.
925 00:55:55,041 00:55:57,667 Well, not really, Stan. Well, not really, Stan.
926 00:55:57,750 00:56:01,166 May I present to you and Judy a special Valentine's Day treat. May I present to you and Judy a special Valentine's Day treat.
927 00:56:01,250 00:56:05,500 Try these on for size, ok? Now, tonight when the bachelor party starts, Try these on for size, ok? Now, tonight when the bachelor party starts,
928 00:56:05,583 00:56:09,834 you simply turn on the TV, hit the function button on your remote. OK? you simply turn on the TV, hit the function button on your remote. OK?
929 00:56:09,917 00:56:12,208 And you might not be there, but you'll have the next best thing-- And you might not be there, but you'll have the next best thing--
930 00:56:13,208 00:56:16,834 -Skolnick Vision. -(guffaws) -Skolnick Vision. -(guffaws)
931 00:56:16,917 00:56:18,875 -Bye, guys. -Thanks, Lewis. -Bye, guys. -Thanks, Lewis.
932 00:56:19,000 00:56:21,583 -Thanks. -(door opens, closes) -Thanks. -(door opens, closes)
933 00:56:21,667 00:56:23,709 (both guffawing) (both guffawing)
934 00:56:23,792 00:56:26,583 -♪♪ (dance rock) -(shouting, chattering) -♪♪ (dance rock) -(shouting, chattering)
935 00:56:28,834 00:56:31,750 -Oh, I made it! -Great shot, Takashi. You know, you owe me another 20 bucks. -Oh, I made it! -Great shot, Takashi. You know, you owe me another 20 bucks.
936 00:56:31,834 00:56:33,500 -Huh? -Well, sometimes when you win, you lose. -Huh? -Well, sometimes when you win, you lose.
937 00:56:33,583 00:56:34,875 Now, let's play for your watch. Now, let's play for your watch.
938 00:56:34,959 00:56:37,208 -Okay, thank you. -You're welcome. (laughs) -Okay, thank you. -You're welcome. (laughs)
939 00:56:37,291 00:56:40,792 Red ball, middle pocket and you can call me London Fats. (chuckles) Red ball, middle pocket and you can call me London Fats. (chuckles)
940 00:56:42,250 00:56:44,709 (party favors squealing) (party favors squealing)
941 00:56:44,792 00:56:47,834 Ah, here you go. A bumper pool tournament! Ah, here you go. A bumper pool tournament!
942 00:56:47,917 00:56:50,542 I mean, what an original idea for a bachelor party! I mean, what an original idea for a bachelor party!
943 00:56:50,625 00:56:52,875 I knew that you would love it, Booger. I knew that you would love it, Booger.
944 00:56:52,959 00:56:55,917 Is there gonna be a girlie show? Is there gonna be a girlie show?
945 00:56:56,000 00:56:58,250 Mr. Dawson, that would be sexist. Mr. Dawson, that would be sexist.
946 00:56:58,333 00:57:01,583 Yeah, we believe it's possible to be entertained without demeaning women. Yeah, we believe it's possible to be entertained without demeaning women.
947 00:57:01,667 00:57:05,458 That's nice. But personally, I'd prefer a little skin. That's nice. But personally, I'd prefer a little skin.
948 00:57:07,125 00:57:10,667 Hey, hey, fellas, I got winners. (chuckles) Hey, hey, fellas, I got winners. (chuckles)
949 00:57:12,625 00:57:15,709 He's got a lot of nerve showing his face around here. He's got a lot of nerve showing his face around here.
950 00:57:15,792 00:57:18,375 -Temper, temper. -Don't worry about it, Booger. -Temper, temper. -Don't worry about it, Booger.
951 00:57:18,458 00:57:21,375 We got him under 24-hour surveillance. We got him under 24-hour surveillance.
952 00:57:21,458 00:57:24,000 There's nothing he can do that we don't know about. There's nothing he can do that we don't know about.
953 00:57:24,500 00:57:26,583 -(laughs) -(laughs) -(laughs) -(laughs)
954 00:57:26,667 00:57:28,709 Hey, no lofting, Harold! Hey, no lofting, Harold!
955 00:57:28,792 00:57:32,417 (chanting) Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! (chanting) Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche!
956 00:57:32,500 00:57:35,041 -Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! -(gargles) -Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! -(gargles)
957 00:57:35,125 00:57:38,917 I really expected Aaron to be here tonight. I really expected Aaron to be here tonight.
958 00:57:39,000 00:57:41,291 He doesn't want anything to do with the wedding. He doesn't want anything to do with the wedding.
959 00:57:41,375 00:57:44,458 Well, he might have extended me the courtesy of allowing me to know that. Well, he might have extended me the courtesy of allowing me to know that.
960 00:57:44,542 00:57:46,500 (chanting) Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! (chanting) Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche!
961 00:57:46,583 00:57:49,792 All right, all right, all right. All right! All right, all right, all right. All right!
962 00:57:49,875 00:57:51,875 (chanting stops) Nouveau-- (chanting stops) Nouveau--
963 00:57:52,917 00:57:54,834 Now, I know we had a little trouble today Now, I know we had a little trouble today
964 00:57:54,917 00:57:57,959 at the all-you-can-eat nerd bridal shower at the Rump Roast Room at noon, at the all-you-can-eat nerd bridal shower at the Rump Roast Room at noon,
965 00:57:58,041 00:58:00,250 but, hey, that's behind us now, right? but, hey, that's behind us now, right?
966 00:58:00,333 00:58:02,625 -We're adults. -Hold it, everybody. -We're adults. -Hold it, everybody.
967 00:58:02,709 00:58:05,750 -Lewis is right. -(coughs) -Lewis is right. -(coughs)
968 00:58:05,834 00:58:08,834 Why, even I've been a bit of a recalcitrant during this wedding, Why, even I've been a bit of a recalcitrant during this wedding,
969 00:58:08,917 00:58:12,583 but now that I've gotten to know... Booger, but now that I've gotten to know... Booger,
970 00:58:12,667 00:58:16,291 I realize that you and Jeanie are a perfect couple. I realize that you and Jeanie are a perfect couple.
971 00:58:16,375 00:58:20,583 And I know that it's only the first step, And I know that it's only the first step,
972 00:58:20,667 00:58:24,333 -♪♪ (dance rock) -but I'm hoping that you will accept... -♪♪ (dance rock) -but I'm hoping that you will accept...
973 00:58:24,417 00:58:27,333 -MAN: Look at that. -...my dove of peace. -MAN: Look at that. -...my dove of peace.
974 00:58:27,417 00:58:30,750 -(excited chattering) -(party favors squealing) -(excited chattering) -(party favors squealing)
975 00:58:33,250 00:58:35,750 -Miss Modem! -(all cheering) -Miss Modem! -(all cheering)
976 00:58:37,875 00:58:41,959 -Miss Numbers. -Come on! -Miss Numbers. -Come on!
977 00:58:42,041 00:58:43,959 (sighs) (sighs)
978 00:58:44,041 00:58:46,667 Miss Mainframe. Miss Mainframe.
979 00:58:46,750 00:58:50,875 -Leave it to Chip to be sexist. -M-m-me, me, me! -Leave it to Chip to be sexist. -M-m-me, me, me!
980 00:58:50,959 00:58:52,917 -CHIP: Miss Communication. -(gasps) -CHIP: Miss Communication. -(gasps)
981 00:58:54,917 00:58:57,333 You know, they are sort of enjoyable. You know, they are sort of enjoyable.
982 00:58:57,417 00:58:59,917 -CHIP: Miss Floppy Disk. -BOOGER: (moaning) -CHIP: Miss Floppy Disk. -BOOGER: (moaning)
983 00:59:00,583 00:59:04,417 -(moaning continues) -♪♪ -(moaning continues) -♪♪
984 00:59:09,166 00:59:11,750 -I love you! -Come on! -I love you! -Come on!
985 00:59:11,834 00:59:14,625 -(all shouting) -(party favors squealing) -(all shouting) -(party favors squealing)
986 00:59:22,583 00:59:25,542 Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey.
987 00:59:25,625 00:59:28,208 -I'll take care of him. -Go get him. -I'll take care of him. -Go get him.
988 00:59:28,291 00:59:32,083 -Hi, Booger. I'm your present. -(growls) -Hi, Booger. I'm your present. -(growls)
989 00:59:32,166 00:59:36,458 ♪♪ (continues) ♪♪ (continues)
990 00:59:37,625 00:59:40,583 WOMAN: ♪ You make quiver ♪ WOMAN: ♪ You make quiver ♪
991 00:59:40,667 00:59:43,291 (moans) You feel so good! (moans) You feel so good!
992 00:59:50,166 00:59:52,667 I can't take no more! I can't take no more!
993 00:59:53,667 00:59:56,959 ♪ You make me quiver ♪ ♪ You make me quiver ♪
994 00:59:57,041 00:59:59,125 (both guffawing) (both guffawing)
995 01:00:01,500 01:00:04,417 MAN: Take it off! MAN: Take it off!
996 01:00:04,500 01:00:06,542 (cheering) (cheering)
997 01:00:10,542 01:00:12,667 (guffawing continues) (guffawing continues)
998 01:00:13,959 01:00:17,375 ♪♪ (music continues) ♪♪ (music continues)
999 01:00:33,208 01:00:35,208 ♪ You make me quiver ♪ ♪ You make me quiver ♪
1000 01:00:35,542 01:00:36,500 (laughing) (laughing)
1001 01:00:36,583 01:00:38,959 You know, this--this Skolnick Vision is great, You know, this--this Skolnick Vision is great,
1002 01:00:39,041 01:00:43,250 but, ah, still, it's not like actually being there. but, ah, still, it's not like actually being there.
1003 01:00:46,542 01:00:49,417 We could have our own stag party, Stan. We could have our own stag party, Stan.
1004 01:00:51,542 01:00:54,375 ♪♪ (continues) ♪♪ (continues)
1005 01:00:54,834 01:00:58,291 -(all shouting) -(party favors squealing) -(all shouting) -(party favors squealing)
1006 01:00:58,375 01:01:01,250 ♪ You make quiver ♪ ♪ You make quiver ♪
1007 01:01:04,709 01:01:07,709 ♪♪ (vocalizing) ♪♪ (vocalizing)
1008 01:01:09,166 01:01:10,625 (laughing) (laughing)
1009 01:01:10,709 01:01:14,000 ♪ You make quiver ♪ ♪ You make quiver ♪
1010 01:01:14,083 01:01:15,875 (all shouting) (all shouting)
1011 01:01:19,375 01:01:20,417 ♪ Shiver ♪ ♪ Shiver ♪
1012 01:01:23,291 01:01:26,000 -(cheering) -(shouting) -(cheering) -(shouting)
1013 01:01:26,083 01:01:28,709 ♪ You make me quiver ♪ ♪ You make me quiver ♪
1014 01:01:28,792 01:01:32,709 -♪♪ (continues) -(cheering) -♪♪ (continues) -(cheering)
1015 01:01:36,417 01:01:38,417 (laughing) (laughing)
1016 01:01:42,083 01:01:45,291 We're gonna have some fun. A cool time. We're gonna have some fun. A cool time.
1017 01:01:46,583 01:01:49,709 (both laughing) (both laughing)
1018 01:01:49,792 01:01:51,959 -What is all this? -(chuckles) -What is all this? -(chuckles)
1019 01:01:52,041 01:01:54,959 This is anything that you want it to be, Booger. This is anything that you want it to be, Booger.
1020 01:01:59,750 01:02:03,417 (whirring) (whirring)
1021 01:02:03,500 01:02:06,542 -♪♪ (conga drum beating) -ALL: Hey! Hey! -♪♪ (conga drum beating) -ALL: Hey! Hey!
1022 01:02:06,625 01:02:09,417 Hey! Hey!
1023 01:02:09,500 01:02:11,709 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
1024 01:02:11,792 01:02:13,583 Hey! Hey!
1025 01:02:13,667 01:02:17,291 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
1026 01:02:20,959 01:02:23,333 Did you do the nasty? Did you do the nasty?
1027 01:02:26,625 01:02:29,041 I still got it. I still got it.
1028 01:02:29,125 01:02:31,458 (all shouting, cheering) (all shouting, cheering)
1029 01:02:33,625 01:02:36,125 -All right, Booger! -♪♪ (conga drum resumes) -All right, Booger! -♪♪ (conga drum resumes)
1030 01:02:36,208 01:02:40,125 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
1031 01:02:42,208 01:02:46,208 This better be good, Chip, to have woken us up in the middle of the night. This better be good, Chip, to have woken us up in the middle of the night.
1032 01:02:46,291 01:02:50,417 I just want you all to see what kind of lowlife Jeanie's going to marry. I just want you all to see what kind of lowlife Jeanie's going to marry.
1033 01:02:50,500 01:02:51,875 BOOGER (on TV): What is all this? BOOGER (on TV): What is all this?
1034 01:02:51,959 01:02:52,959 Booger? Booger?
1035 01:02:53,041 01:02:57,291 This is anything you want it to be, Booger. This is anything you want it to be, Booger.
1036 01:02:57,375 01:03:00,417 It's your last night as a single man. It's your last night as a single man.
1037 01:03:00,500 01:03:02,875 You're allowed to have a little fun, Booger. You're allowed to have a little fun, Booger.
1038 01:03:02,959 01:03:06,000 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1039 01:03:07,542 01:03:11,625 -I can't do this. -Everybody's nervous at first. -I can't do this. -Everybody's nervous at first.
1040 01:03:11,709 01:03:16,125 No, no, no. It's not that I'm nervous. No, no, no. It's not that I'm nervous.
1041 01:03:16,208 01:03:20,000 I am not nervous. I am not nervous.
1042 01:03:20,083 01:03:22,959 It's just that, um, It's just that, um,
1043 01:03:23,041 01:03:27,250 Jeanie and I have a special bond... Jeanie and I have a special bond...
1044 01:03:27,333 01:03:30,583 and I don't want to break it. and I don't want to break it.
1045 01:03:32,709 01:03:35,000 Plus, you make me very nervous. Plus, you make me very nervous.
1046 01:03:37,333 01:03:40,750 So, if it's all right with you, perhaps we could just... So, if it's all right with you, perhaps we could just...
1047 01:03:42,834 01:03:45,792 sit here for a, for a moment... sit here for a, for a moment...
1048 01:03:45,875 01:03:48,625 so that the guys outside won't... so that the guys outside won't...
1049 01:03:48,709 01:03:51,250 think that I'm the sissy that you know me to be. think that I'm the sissy that you know me to be.
1050 01:03:51,333 01:03:53,125 -(laughs) -(kiss) -(laughs) -(kiss)
1051 01:03:53,208 01:03:57,166 You're not a sissy, Booger. You're a mensch. You're not a sissy, Booger. You're a mensch.
1052 01:03:57,250 01:04:00,750 -I think he acted very responsibly. -That's right, Chip. -I think he acted very responsibly. -That's right, Chip.
1053 01:04:02,583 01:04:05,667 -(smacks butt) -Oh, yes, Mommy! -(smacks butt) -Oh, yes, Mommy!
1054 01:04:05,750 01:04:09,291 -Oh, God. (laughing) - Oh, I'm feeling better. -Oh, God. (laughing) - Oh, I'm feeling better.
1055 01:04:09,375 01:04:13,834 -Ooh. -I've been bad. I've been very bad! -Ooh. -I've been bad. I've been very bad!
1056 01:04:13,917 01:04:16,000 I want a divorce, Chip. I want a divorce, Chip.
1057 01:04:16,083 01:04:19,417 It must be a mistake. That's not me. It must be a mistake. That's not me.
1058 01:04:21,542 01:04:24,375 Those nerds did it. I bet they did it on a computer or something. Those nerds did it. I bet they did it on a computer or something.
1059 01:04:24,458 01:04:26,542 God, the things they can do with computers these days. God, the things they can do with computers these days.
1060 01:04:26,625 01:04:31,250 No. I'm the one who made the mistake, Chip, when I married you. No. I'm the one who made the mistake, Chip, when I married you.
1061 01:04:33,291 01:04:35,500 It was a little indiscretion at a bachelor party. It was a little indiscretion at a bachelor party.
1062 01:04:35,583 01:04:38,208 It's not just the video, Chip! It's not just the video, Chip!
1063 01:04:38,291 01:04:41,500 It's been all downhill since the honeymoon. It's been all downhill since the honeymoon.
1064 01:04:41,583 01:04:44,875 You drink too much. You're mentally abusive to me. You drink too much. You're mentally abusive to me.
1065 01:04:44,959 01:04:47,667 You fool around with other women. You fool around with other women.
1066 01:04:47,750 01:04:50,500 We have absolutely nothing in common. We have absolutely nothing in common.
1067 01:04:50,583 01:04:53,250 Well, maybe I could work a little harder. Well, maybe I could work a little harder.
1068 01:04:53,333 01:04:57,625 It makes me ill to think I've stayed with you as long as I have. It makes me ill to think I've stayed with you as long as I have.
1069 01:04:58,834 01:05:01,834 (gagging) (gagging)
1070 01:05:01,917 01:05:04,000 CHIP: Honey? CHIP: Honey?
1071 01:05:08,417 01:05:10,709 You mind if I spoke to Chip alone? You mind if I spoke to Chip alone?
1072 01:05:10,792 01:05:12,667 Oh, no, certainly. Come, sweetie. Oh, no, certainly. Come, sweetie.
1073 01:05:12,750 01:05:14,625 TIPPY: Gaylord! TIPPY: Gaylord!
1074 01:05:19,917 01:05:22,875 -This isn't good, Chip. -No. -This isn't good, Chip. -No.
1075 01:05:23,834 01:05:25,917 So I'm gonna kill you, Chip. So I'm gonna kill you, Chip.
1076 01:05:26,000 01:05:29,083 You made a fool out of my daughter! You made a fool out of my daughter!
1077 01:05:29,166 01:05:31,083 Aaron, I can explain everything. Aaron, I can explain everything.
1078 01:05:31,166 01:05:33,083 You lied about the illegitimate child, You lied about the illegitimate child,
1079 01:05:33,166 01:05:35,959 then you tried to frame Booger and you got caught! then you tried to frame Booger and you got caught!
1080 01:05:36,041 01:05:38,917 The illegitimate child will be here tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m. The illegitimate child will be here tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m.
1081 01:05:39,000 01:05:41,250 She's on route right now from Sandusky, Ohio. She's on route right now from Sandusky, Ohio.
1082 01:05:41,333 01:05:44,250 There is no illegitimate child! You made it all up. There is no illegitimate child! You made it all up.
1083 01:05:44,333 01:05:47,375 The illegitimate child will be here at 10:00 in the morning! The illegitimate child will be here at 10:00 in the morning!
1084 01:05:47,458 01:05:51,417 It better be! And you better get my daughter to forgive you, It better be! And you better get my daughter to forgive you,
1085 01:05:51,500 01:05:54,041 or there's no room for you in this family or there's no room for you in this family
1086 01:05:54,125 01:05:58,208 or at Humphrey Industries, you pervert creep. or at Humphrey Industries, you pervert creep.
1087 01:06:00,375 01:06:01,458 (door slams) (door slams)
1088 01:06:05,417 01:06:08,625 Oh, boy. That was one heck of a stag party last night, Lewis. Oh, boy. That was one heck of a stag party last night, Lewis.
1089 01:06:08,709 01:06:10,959 I know I'll never forget it. I know I'll never forget it.
1090 01:06:11,041 01:06:14,959 I especially enjoyed your dance with the woman who removed her clothes, Mr. Booger. I especially enjoyed your dance with the woman who removed her clothes, Mr. Booger.
1091 01:06:15,041 01:06:19,333 Trevor, remember there's a code of silence about what goes on at a stag party. Trevor, remember there's a code of silence about what goes on at a stag party.
1092 01:06:19,417 01:06:21,959 -Code of silence? -So, reveal nothing, -Code of silence? -So, reveal nothing,
1093 01:06:22,041 01:06:24,959 even if you're under hours of interrogation and torture. even if you're under hours of interrogation and torture.
1094 01:06:25,041 01:06:27,667 Wild horses couldn't drag it out of me. Wild horses couldn't drag it out of me.
1095 01:06:27,750 01:06:31,000 (chuckles) Who aren't I supposed to tell? (chuckles) Who aren't I supposed to tell?
1096 01:06:46,625 01:06:48,458 -Lewis. -Huh? -Lewis. -Huh?
1097 01:06:49,041 01:06:50,583 There were women there, weren't there? There were women there, weren't there?
1098 01:06:54,083 01:06:55,583 Yes. Yes.
1099 01:06:59,250 01:07:00,583 Were they pretty? Were they pretty?
1100 01:07:02,750 01:07:03,917 Yes. Yes.
1101 01:07:04,792 01:07:06,208 What'd you do with them? What'd you do with them?
1102 01:07:08,709 01:07:11,333 -The bunny hop. -That's all you did? -The bunny hop. -That's all you did?
1103 01:07:11,417 01:07:14,750 -Yes. -Was the bunny hop? -Yes. -Was the bunny hop?
1104 01:07:17,750 01:07:20,542 Okay. You can still be my valentine then. Okay. You can still be my valentine then.
1105 01:07:24,583 01:07:27,709 Oh, Betty. (sighs) You shouldn't have. Oh, Betty. (sighs) You shouldn't have.
1106 01:07:27,792 01:07:30,208 -He's so cute. -He plays something too. -He's so cute. -He plays something too.
1107 01:07:30,291 01:07:32,875 Beautiful. (chuckles) Beautiful. (chuckles)
1108 01:07:32,959 01:07:37,000 Hey, guys! It's Valentine's Day! Hey, guys! It's Valentine's Day!
1109 01:07:37,083 01:07:39,250 ALL: Happy Valentine's Day! ALL: Happy Valentine's Day!
1110 01:07:39,333 01:07:41,166 Happy Valentine's. Happy Valentine's.
1111 01:07:42,667 01:07:46,417 Aaron, I hope you didn't have anything Aaron, I hope you didn't have anything
1112 01:07:46,500 01:07:49,375 to do with videotaping Booger at the stag party. to do with videotaping Booger at the stag party.
1113 01:07:49,458 01:07:51,834 Absolutely not. I wasn't even there. Absolutely not. I wasn't even there.
1114 01:07:51,917 01:07:54,041 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
1115 01:07:54,125 01:07:57,750 Aaron, if you don't participate in this wedding Aaron, if you don't participate in this wedding
1116 01:07:57,834 01:08:00,750 and make your daughter proud of you, and make your daughter proud of you,
1117 01:08:00,834 01:08:02,542 I'm going to leave you. I'm going to leave you.
1118 01:08:02,625 01:08:05,208 You would leave me? You would leave me?
1119 01:08:05,291 01:08:08,875 I have learned a lot from the nerds. Nerds speak their mind. I have learned a lot from the nerds. Nerds speak their mind.
1120 01:08:08,959 01:08:11,750 And from now on, I'm gonna speak my mind too. And from now on, I'm gonna speak my mind too.
1121 01:08:11,834 01:08:15,458 If you don't support your daughter during this wedding, I'm outta here. If you don't support your daughter during this wedding, I'm outta here.
1122 01:08:15,542 01:08:17,333 Fix your ascot. Fix your ascot.
1123 01:08:18,792 01:08:21,709 It's not like I'm giving up that much. It's not like I'm giving up that much.
1124 01:08:21,792 01:08:23,667 What is that supposed to mean? What is that supposed to mean?
1125 01:08:24,166 01:08:26,250 Aaron, Aaron,
1126 01:08:26,333 01:08:29,583 we haven't had sex since the Bush administration. we haven't had sex since the Bush administration.
1127 01:08:29,667 01:08:33,583 Well, it's, uh, hard to perform in that way when the Democrats are in power. Well, it's, uh, hard to perform in that way when the Democrats are in power.
1128 01:08:33,667 01:08:35,750 Ask any guy in this neighborhood. Ask any guy in this neighborhood.
1129 01:08:35,834 01:08:38,417 That's why the sex hasn't been that hot lately. That's why the sex hasn't been that hot lately.
1130 01:08:38,500 01:08:41,625 Hot? I'd settle for lukewarm. Hot? I'd settle for lukewarm.
1131 01:08:41,709 01:08:43,542 Zip your fly. Zip your fly.
1132 01:08:45,166 01:08:46,542 (zipper screeches) (zipper screeches)
1133 01:08:47,375 01:08:49,125 Well, it's not all my fault. Well, it's not all my fault.
1134 01:08:49,208 01:08:51,959 How can I have sex when I have to spend all my time How can I have sex when I have to spend all my time
1135 01:08:52,041 01:08:55,291 fixing my ascot, zippering my fly and matching my socks? fixing my ascot, zippering my fly and matching my socks?
1136 01:08:55,375 01:08:58,417 I can't be perfect for you anymore, Tippy. I can't be perfect for you anymore, Tippy.
1137 01:08:58,500 01:09:00,625 It's too much pressure. It's too much pressure.
1138 01:09:00,709 01:09:04,625 Aaron. I thought I was helping you. Aaron. I thought I was helping you.
1139 01:09:04,709 01:09:07,417 I know how much you wanna be accepted by the blue bloods, I know how much you wanna be accepted by the blue bloods,
1140 01:09:07,500 01:09:10,834 but you don't ever have to be perfect for me. but you don't ever have to be perfect for me.
1141 01:09:10,917 01:09:15,291 -I don't? -No. -I don't? -No.
1142 01:09:15,375 01:09:19,375 I just want you to be the imperfect animal I fell in love with. I just want you to be the imperfect animal I fell in love with.
1143 01:09:20,250 01:09:22,500 You mean it? You mean it?
1144 01:09:22,583 01:09:25,333 Absolutely. Absolutely.
1145 01:09:25,417 01:09:27,458 Tippy. Tippy.
1146 01:09:27,542 01:09:29,458 Aaron. Aaron.
1147 01:09:29,542 01:09:31,500 Oh, Tippy. Oh, Tippy.
1148 01:09:31,583 01:09:33,333 Aaron! Aaron!
1149 01:09:33,417 01:09:36,291 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
1150 01:09:41,083 01:09:44,291 MAN: ♪ Cupid ♪ MAN: ♪ Cupid ♪
1151 01:09:44,375 01:09:48,458 ♪ You've got the world upon a string ♪ ♪ You've got the world upon a string ♪
1152 01:09:48,542 01:09:53,333 ♪ It's time for armored hearts to sing ♪ ♪ It's time for armored hearts to sing ♪
1153 01:09:53,417 01:09:57,417 ♪ So bless these sweet nerd lips ♪ ♪ So bless these sweet nerd lips ♪
1154 01:09:59,375 01:10:01,959 ♪ Cupid ♪ ♪ Cupid ♪
1155 01:10:02,041 01:10:07,166 ♪ Strike while your arrow's point is sharp ♪ ♪ Strike while your arrow's point is sharp ♪
1156 01:10:07,250 01:10:12,333 ♪ Play sweet melodies upon your harp ♪ ♪ Play sweet melodies upon your harp ♪
1157 01:10:12,417 01:10:16,750 ♪ Make all their sweet little nerdy dreams come true ♪ ♪ Make all their sweet little nerdy dreams come true ♪
1158 01:10:18,625 01:10:23,542 ♪ Give them one more chance ♪ ♪ Give them one more chance ♪
1159 01:10:23,625 01:10:27,709 -♪ To breathe in romance -(guffawing) -♪ To breathe in romance ♪ -(guffawing)
1160 01:10:27,792 01:10:29,834 ♪ Cupid ♪ ♪ Cupid ♪
1161 01:10:29,917 01:10:32,166 Hey, I don't know if you're enjoying your wedding, Hey, I don't know if you're enjoying your wedding,
1162 01:10:32,250 01:10:35,333 but it's been the best time of my life. but it's been the best time of my life.
1163 01:10:35,417 01:10:37,875 Nerds. Who knew? Nerds. Who knew?
1164 01:10:37,959 01:10:41,000 -Where are you? -Well, I'm over at Lois's. -Where are you? -Well, I'm over at Lois's.
1165 01:10:41,083 01:10:44,041 Well, it's been special. Well, it's been special.
1166 01:10:44,125 01:10:47,041 And thank God it's all going to end this afternoon. And thank God it's all going to end this afternoon.
1167 01:10:47,125 01:10:49,834 It's all gonna end right now. It's all gonna end right now.
1168 01:10:50,792 01:10:53,792 I'd like you to meet Heidi Dawson, your daughter. I'd like you to meet Heidi Dawson, your daughter.
1169 01:10:56,000 01:10:57,667 Go. Go.
1170 01:11:08,000 01:11:10,041 -TIPPY: Oh, Aaron! -It's off! -TIPPY: Oh, Aaron! -It's off!
1171 01:11:10,500 01:11:12,083 (gasps) (gasps)
1172 01:11:12,166 01:11:13,125 -What's off? -What? -What's off? -What?
1173 01:11:13,208 01:11:14,291 The wedding! The wedding!
1174 01:11:15,375 01:11:18,000 Booger's kid turned up. I told you there was a kid. Booger's kid turned up. I told you there was a kid.
1175 01:11:23,542 01:11:27,792 -Guys, the wedding is off. -(gasps) -Guys, the wedding is off. -(gasps)
1176 01:11:31,959 01:11:34,250 It's not your fault. It's not your fault.
1177 01:11:34,333 01:11:37,709 You didn't do anything. You didn't ask to be born. You didn't do anything. You didn't ask to be born.
1178 01:11:39,250 01:11:42,583 Would you like me to give you a push on those swings? Would you like me to give you a push on those swings?
1179 01:11:42,667 01:11:46,750 -No, thanks. -Mmm, I'm a pretty good swing pusher. -No, thanks. -Mmm, I'm a pretty good swing pusher.
1180 01:11:46,834 01:11:48,667 I could give you an over-the-top. I could give you an over-the-top.
1181 01:11:48,750 01:11:51,750 I'm too old to be pushed on the swings. I'm too old to be pushed on the swings.
1182 01:11:51,834 01:11:55,333 Oh, right. Yeah, you're too old for that. Oh, right. Yeah, you're too old for that.
1183 01:11:57,000 01:11:59,458 I used to hate it when people treated me like a baby. I used to hate it when people treated me like a baby.
1184 01:11:59,542 01:12:01,709 -You did? -Oh, yeah. -You did? -Oh, yeah.
1185 01:12:02,375 01:12:04,041 So what do you like to do? So what do you like to do?
1186 01:12:05,083 01:12:07,166 I'm afraid to tell you because I'm afraid to tell you because
1187 01:12:07,250 01:12:10,667 if you don't like what I like, then you won't like me. if you don't like what I like, then you won't like me.
1188 01:12:14,333 01:12:18,166 I think... I'm going to like you I think... I'm going to like you
1189 01:12:18,250 01:12:20,125 no matter what you do, no matter what you do,
1190 01:12:20,208 01:12:23,041 as long as you live. as long as you live.
1191 01:12:23,625 01:12:25,375 So there. So there.
1192 01:12:27,583 01:12:29,542 (tires squealing) (tires squealing)
1193 01:12:38,208 01:12:39,250 (car door closes) (car door closes)
1194 01:12:46,291 01:12:50,291 -Booger. -I'm here to see Jeanie. -Booger. -I'm here to see Jeanie.
1195 01:12:50,375 01:12:53,625 I'm sorry, Booger, but Jeanie doesn't wanna speak with you. I'm sorry, Booger, but Jeanie doesn't wanna speak with you.
1196 01:12:53,709 01:12:55,083 I would like her to tell me that. I would like her to tell me that.
1197 01:12:56,875 01:13:00,709 Well, if she doesn't wanna talk with you, she can't very well tell you then, can she? Well, if she doesn't wanna talk with you, she can't very well tell you then, can she?
1198 01:13:00,792 01:13:04,375 Mrs. Humphrey, I am trying to be civil, but now I am not asking. Mrs. Humphrey, I am trying to be civil, but now I am not asking.
1199 01:13:04,458 01:13:06,583 I am demanding to see your daughter. I am demanding to see your daughter.
1200 01:13:06,667 01:13:09,208 Oh, Booger. Oh, Booger.
1201 01:13:09,291 01:13:11,083 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1202 01:13:26,083 01:13:28,542 Oh, honey, help him. Oh, honey, help him.
1203 01:13:28,625 01:13:32,000 Booger, every wedding has its crisis. This is yours. Booger, every wedding has its crisis. This is yours.
1204 01:13:34,417 01:13:37,959 A crisis would be easy compared to this. A crisis would be easy compared to this.
1205 01:13:45,291 01:13:47,250 Jeanie! Jeanie!
1206 01:13:47,333 01:13:49,333 Oh, Booger. Oh, Booger.
1207 01:13:53,375 01:13:57,500 Booger, the groom never stops pursuing his bride. Booger, the groom never stops pursuing his bride.
1208 01:13:59,667 01:14:00,834 Never. Never.
1209 01:14:11,458 01:14:14,291 Hey, pal. Hey! Hey! What are you doing? Hey, pal. Hey! Hey! What are you doing?
1210 01:14:14,375 01:14:16,834 Hey, wait, wait a minute! Hey, wait! (whistles) Hey! Hey, wait, wait a minute! Hey, wait! (whistles) Hey!
1211 01:14:22,208 01:14:24,709 (groans) (groans)
1212 01:14:32,375 01:14:35,166 (grunting) (grunting)
1213 01:14:37,750 01:14:39,834 JEANIE: Oh. JEANIE: Oh.
1214 01:14:44,583 01:14:47,500 (grunting) (grunting)
1215 01:14:49,583 01:14:50,583 (exhales) (exhales)
1216 01:14:51,667 01:14:54,166 -Booger! -Darling! -Booger! -Darling!
1217 01:14:54,250 01:14:56,208 Whoa! Whoa!
1218 01:14:59,208 01:15:01,458 So what if I have a child. So what if I have a child.
1219 01:15:01,542 01:15:04,792 I'm so confused. You know, I just I don't know what to think anymore. I'm so confused. You know, I just I don't know what to think anymore.
1220 01:15:04,875 01:15:07,125 Oh, marry me, Jeanie. Oh, marry me, Jeanie.
1221 01:15:07,208 01:15:09,458 I just need a few days to think about it. I just need a few days to think about it.
1222 01:15:09,542 01:15:12,500 What, not get married on Valentine's Day? What, not get married on Valentine's Day?
1223 01:15:12,583 01:15:15,667 I'm confused, Booger. I need time! I'm confused, Booger. I need time!
1224 01:15:15,750 01:15:19,000 There was a time when getting married on Valentine's Day There was a time when getting married on Valentine's Day
1225 01:15:19,083 01:15:22,208 was the most important thing in the world to us. was the most important thing in the world to us.
1226 01:15:25,375 01:15:27,375 Please go, Booger. Please go, Booger.
1227 01:15:27,458 01:15:29,458 Is that what you really want? Is that what you really want?
1228 01:15:31,083 01:15:35,959 No. Not in my heart and not in my soul, No. Not in my heart and not in my soul,
1229 01:15:36,041 01:15:38,875 but... I'm just so nuts over this, you know. but... I'm just so nuts over this, you know.
1230 01:15:38,959 01:15:42,458 It's like I just need a little space. It's like I just need a little space.
1231 01:15:42,542 01:15:45,041 Please, Booger? Please, Booger?
1232 01:16:07,083 01:16:08,667 ♪ Jean ♪ ♪ Jean ♪
1233 01:16:10,000 01:16:12,333 ♪ The roses ♪ ♪ The roses ♪
1234 01:16:12,417 01:16:14,583 ♪ Are red ♪ ♪ Are red ♪
1235 01:16:17,458 01:16:21,125 ♪ All the leaves have gone green ♪ ♪ All the leaves have gone green ♪
1236 01:16:25,625 01:16:29,959 ♪ And the skies are so low ♪ ♪ And the skies are so low ♪
1237 01:16:31,542 01:16:33,417 ♪ You can touch them ♪ ♪ You can touch them ♪
1238 01:16:33,500 01:16:36,583 ♪ And so ♪ ♪ And so ♪
1239 01:16:36,667 01:16:39,750 BOTH: ♪ Come into my arms ♪ BOTH: ♪ Come into my arms ♪
1240 01:16:39,834 01:16:43,291 ♪ Bonnie Jean ♪♪ ♪ Bonnie Jean ♪♪
1241 01:16:43,375 01:16:46,625 (giggling) (giggling)
1242 01:16:47,875 01:16:49,917 It's on! It's on!
1243 01:16:50,000 01:16:52,291 BOTH: What's on? BOTH: What's on?
1244 01:16:52,375 01:16:54,458 The wedding! The wedding!
1245 01:16:58,875 01:17:00,792 Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
1246 01:17:03,792 01:17:07,083 (sighs) Ah, I'm so glad the wedding is still on. (sighs) Ah, I'm so glad the wedding is still on.
1247 01:17:07,166 01:17:09,792 I was so wrong about nerds. I was so wrong about nerds.
1248 01:17:09,875 01:17:12,333 You know, we nerds believe in forgiveness. You know, we nerds believe in forgiveness.
1249 01:17:14,208 01:17:18,667 It's unreal how much you remind me of my friend Bing. It's unreal how much you remind me of my friend Bing.
1250 01:17:21,166 01:17:24,417 I've never met anyone quite like you, Lamar. I've never met anyone quite like you, Lamar.
1251 01:17:24,500 01:17:26,417 (giggles) (giggles)
1252 01:17:26,500 01:17:28,250 Well, I'll take that as a compliment. Well, I'll take that as a compliment.
1253 01:17:29,333 01:17:30,834 It is. It is.
1254 01:17:44,041 01:17:46,208 -Lewis. -Booger. -Lewis. -Booger.
1255 01:17:50,750 01:17:53,083 I'm gonna marry Cathleen Turtletaub. I'm gonna marry Cathleen Turtletaub.
1256 01:17:54,792 01:17:57,667 Who's Cathleen Turtletaub? Who's Cathleen Turtletaub?
1257 01:17:57,750 01:17:59,834 Heidi's mother. Heidi's mother.
1258 01:17:59,917 01:18:03,333 But you don't even know Cathleen Turtletaub. But you don't even know Cathleen Turtletaub.
1259 01:18:03,417 01:18:06,417 I know, but it's the right thing to do. I know, but it's the right thing to do.
1260 01:18:17,583 01:18:19,542 -(coughs) -(hisses) -(coughs) -(hisses)
1261 01:18:22,875 01:18:25,583 This really isn't about Cathleen Turtletaub, is it? This really isn't about Cathleen Turtletaub, is it?
1262 01:18:29,041 01:18:31,250 No, it isn't. No, it isn't.
1263 01:18:32,125 01:18:35,583 This is about your zapatos becoming muy frío, no? This is about your zapatos becoming muy frío, no?
1264 01:18:36,083 01:18:39,375 -Lewis. -Booger. -Lewis. -Booger.
1265 01:18:39,458 01:18:43,375 I didn't go through with it with the stripper last night. I didn't go through with it with the stripper last night.
1266 01:18:43,458 01:18:46,917 -Oh, yeah, we know. -How do you know? -Oh, yeah, we know. -How do you know?
1267 01:18:47,000 01:18:49,041 (smacks lips) Well, we kind of figured it out (smacks lips) Well, we kind of figured it out
1268 01:18:49,125 01:18:52,208 when we edited the videotape to ruin Chip's life. when we edited the videotape to ruin Chip's life.
1269 01:18:52,291 01:18:55,250 Here I was passing up Here I was passing up
1270 01:18:55,333 01:18:58,834 this mound of perfect. this mound of perfect.
1271 01:18:58,917 01:19:03,709 I, who have never passed up anything in my life. I, who have never passed up anything in my life.
1272 01:19:03,792 01:19:07,875 What is the matter with me, Lewis? What is the matter with me, Lewis?
1273 01:19:07,959 01:19:10,208 Where has the Booger I have known Where has the Booger I have known
1274 01:19:10,291 01:19:13,583 and loved... gone? and loved... gone?
1275 01:19:15,125 01:19:19,208 (clock chiming) (clock chiming)
1276 01:19:22,834 01:19:24,500 You ready? You ready?
1277 01:19:26,208 01:19:27,125 Let's do it. Let's do it.
1278 01:19:27,208 01:19:28,291 (glass hits table) (glass hits table)
1279 01:19:32,500 01:19:35,041 Please be my valentine. Please be my valentine.
1280 01:19:35,125 01:19:39,208 You haven't given me a valentine in 10 years and this is what you come up with? You haven't given me a valentine in 10 years and this is what you come up with?
1281 01:19:39,291 01:19:41,166 Pathetic! Pathetic!
1282 01:19:44,792 01:19:46,834 (nervous chuckle) (nervous chuckle)
1283 01:19:52,667 01:19:55,125 (whimpers) (whimpers)
1284 01:19:55,208 01:19:58,667 Aaron, Tippy, the food fight was a sensational idea! Aaron, Tippy, the food fight was a sensational idea!
1285 01:19:58,750 01:20:01,875 I'm gonna use the nerd theme at my wedding. (guffaws) I'm gonna use the nerd theme at my wedding. (guffaws)
1286 01:20:04,542 01:20:05,875 Mylan. Mylan.
1287 01:20:07,291 01:20:10,917 I'm so sorry for all the trouble that you've experienced with this affair. I'm so sorry for all the trouble that you've experienced with this affair.
1288 01:20:11,000 01:20:13,125 Thanks for coming to the wedding. Thanks for coming to the wedding.
1289 01:20:13,208 01:20:16,834 I do not care to judge you, Aaron, on the basis of the hell I've been through. I do not care to judge you, Aaron, on the basis of the hell I've been through.
1290 01:20:16,917 01:20:19,625 But I trust that it was merely a horrific aberration But I trust that it was merely a horrific aberration
1291 01:20:19,709 01:20:22,500 and I expect the wedding to be quite different. and I expect the wedding to be quite different.
1292 01:20:26,041 01:20:28,041 What? What?
1293 01:20:29,041 01:20:31,667 Oh. Oh.
1294 01:20:31,750 01:20:33,709 I, uh, trust that'll be enough. I, uh, trust that'll be enough.
1295 01:20:35,375 01:20:38,792 Wouldn't have missed this wedding for the world. Wouldn't have missed this wedding for the world.
1296 01:20:38,875 01:20:41,792 LEWIS: Everybody, stand aside! Make way for the groom! LEWIS: Everybody, stand aside! Make way for the groom!
1297 01:20:41,875 01:20:43,834 (horn beeping) (horn beeping)
1298 01:20:43,917 01:20:46,583 I would know that horn anywhere. I would know that horn anywhere.
1299 01:20:51,917 01:20:54,375 -LEWIS: Dad! -U.N.! -LEWIS: Dad! -U.N.!
1300 01:20:54,458 01:20:57,208 -Hey, how are you? -Hey! -Hey, how are you? -Hey!
1301 01:20:57,291 01:20:59,000 -Congratulations. -Thank you. -Congratulations. -Thank you.
1302 01:20:59,083 01:21:01,959 I wouldn't miss a nerd wedding for the world. I wouldn't miss a nerd wedding for the world.
1303 01:21:02,041 01:21:04,375 -How are you? -Lewis, how are you? -How are you? -Lewis, how are you?
1304 01:21:04,458 01:21:07,375 -How's my unborn grandson? -You mean your unborn fetal son? -How's my unborn grandson? -You mean your unborn fetal son?
1305 01:21:07,458 01:21:10,375 (both guffawing) (both guffawing)
1306 01:21:10,458 01:21:12,375 Emergency! Excuse, please. Emergency! Excuse, please.
1307 01:21:12,458 01:21:14,375 The bishop has a kidney stone. The bishop has a kidney stone.
1308 01:21:14,458 01:21:16,667 He no make it to wedding! He no make it to wedding!
1309 01:21:16,750 01:21:20,208 Wha-how am I supposed to get married without a clergyman? Wha-how am I supposed to get married without a clergyman?
1310 01:21:20,291 01:21:23,166 -I can marry you. -But I don't love you. -I can marry you. -But I don't love you.
1311 01:21:23,250 01:21:26,375 Oh. No, no. I took a correspondence course. Oh. No, no. I took a correspondence course.
1312 01:21:26,458 01:21:28,750 I'm a fully ordained Tilhoonian minister. I'm a fully ordained Tilhoonian minister.
1313 01:21:28,834 01:21:31,375 -You are? -U.N. -You are? -U.N.
1314 01:21:31,458 01:21:33,291 (guffawing) (guffawing)
1315 01:21:43,333 01:21:45,959 (guffawing continues) (guffawing continues)
1316 01:21:48,250 01:21:52,125 ♪♪ (wedding music) ♪♪ (wedding music)
1317 01:22:01,792 01:22:05,208 -Hi, Dad. -Shh. (clears throat) -Hi, Dad. -Shh. (clears throat)
1318 01:22:05,291 01:22:07,208 -♪♪ (organ) -Sorry. -♪♪ (organ) -Sorry.
1319 01:22:07,291 01:22:10,000 ♪♪ ("Wedding March") ♪♪ ("Wedding March")
1320 01:22:13,875 01:22:17,709 (guests murmuring) (guests murmuring)
1321 01:22:17,792 01:22:21,542 -WOMAN #1: Oh, she's just beautiful. -WOMAN #2: Isn't she? -WOMAN #1: Oh, she's just beautiful. -WOMAN #2: Isn't she?
1322 01:22:21,625 01:22:25,208 I've never seen a nerd wedding I didn't cry at. I've never seen a nerd wedding I didn't cry at.
1323 01:22:25,291 01:22:27,875 This is just fabulous! (crying) This is just fabulous! (crying)
1324 01:22:27,959 01:22:29,792 What a weenie. What a weenie.
1325 01:22:33,959 01:22:35,542 (shutter clicks) (shutter clicks)
1326 01:22:35,625 01:22:37,625 -(all sigh) -Doesn't she look gorgeous? -(all sigh) -Doesn't she look gorgeous?
1327 01:22:42,542 01:22:45,500 (both crying) (both crying)
1328 01:22:55,083 01:22:57,500 (alarm blaring) (alarm blaring)
1329 01:22:59,041 01:23:02,000 Lewis? Lewis?
1330 01:23:03,542 01:23:06,792 -Betty, you're having the baby! -Lewis! -Betty, you're having the baby! -Lewis!
1331 01:23:06,875 01:23:10,083 -Oh. You're having the baby, honey. -Lewis. -Oh. You're having the baby, honey. -Lewis.
1332 01:23:10,166 01:23:13,959 Booger, quick. You guys. Lamar! Quick, come here! Booger, quick. You guys. Lamar! Quick, come here!
1333 01:23:14,041 01:23:16,625 LEWIS: Lamar. You guys. Booger. LEWIS: Lamar. You guys. Booger.
1334 01:23:16,709 01:23:18,333 -Lamar, quick, hurry! -BOOGER: Don't panic! -Lamar, quick, hurry! -BOOGER: Don't panic!
1335 01:23:18,417 01:23:21,333 Ogre. Ogre. We gotta carry her. Ogre. Ogre. We gotta carry her.
1336 01:23:21,417 01:23:23,458 Okay. Okay, here we go. Okay. Okay, here we go.
1337 01:23:23,542 01:23:26,166 -LEWIS: That's it. Careful. -Okay, I got her. -LEWIS: That's it. Careful. -Okay, I got her.
1338 01:23:26,250 01:23:29,792 -Okay, Lewey! Where, Lewey? -Come on. Follow me. -Okay, Lewey! Where, Lewey? -Come on. Follow me.
1339 01:23:29,875 01:23:33,500 -ALL: (chattering) -OGRE: Where, Lewey? -ALL: (chattering) -OGRE: Where, Lewey?
1340 01:23:33,583 01:23:36,333 (alarm continues blaring) (alarm continues blaring)
1341 01:23:36,417 01:23:39,333 (alarm stops) (alarm stops)
1342 01:23:39,417 01:23:42,542 LEWIS: Ogre, here. Put her head right here in the chopped liver. LEWIS: Ogre, here. Put her head right here in the chopped liver.
1343 01:23:42,625 01:23:45,583 -Lewis! -WOMAN: She need an ice pack? -Lewis! -WOMAN: She need an ice pack?
1344 01:23:47,125 01:23:49,500 Betty, don't push. Don't push, Betty. Betty, don't push. Don't push, Betty.
1345 01:23:49,583 01:23:50,583 (groans) (groans)
1346 01:23:51,792 01:23:53,500 ALL (chanting): Betty, don't push. Betty, don't push. ALL (chanting): Betty, don't push. Betty, don't push.
1347 01:23:53,583 01:23:56,291 -Lewis! -Betty, don't push! Betty, don't push! -Lewis! -Betty, don't push! Betty, don't push!
1348 01:23:56,375 01:23:58,834 ALL (chanting): Eee-hee-hoo. ALL (chanting): Eee-hee-hoo.
1349 01:24:04,792 01:24:07,875 Eee-hee-hoo! Eee-hee-hoo! Eee-hee-hoo! Eee-hee-hoo!
1350 01:24:07,959 01:24:10,500 BOOGER: Heidi, where are you going? BOOGER: Heidi, where are you going?
1351 01:24:11,166 01:24:13,709 I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be here.
1352 01:24:13,792 01:24:16,375 Of course you should be here. Of course you should be here.
1353 01:24:16,458 01:24:20,750 I'm not really your daughter. Chip got me from an orphanage. I'm not really your daughter. Chip got me from an orphanage.
1354 01:24:23,667 01:24:27,709 Chip got you in an orphanage? Chip got you in an orphanage?
1355 01:24:27,792 01:24:29,667 (scoffs) (scoffs)
1356 01:24:31,291 01:24:33,375 -You, um, -BETTY: (screaming) -You, um, -BETTY: (screaming)
1357 01:24:33,458 01:24:35,542 rented an orphan? rented an orphan?
1358 01:24:35,625 01:24:38,583 Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
1359 01:24:39,625 01:24:42,375 And I've been under a lot of stress lately. And I've been under a lot of stress lately.
1360 01:24:42,458 01:24:44,667 -I'm sorry. -(crying) -I'm sorry. -(crying)
1361 01:24:46,667 01:24:48,542 Daddy, don't! Don't! Daddy, don't! Don't!
1362 01:24:48,625 01:24:49,583 -(smack) -Ooh! -(smack) -Ooh!
1363 01:24:49,667 01:24:51,917 -(grunts) -(chanting) Betty, don't push! -(grunts) -(chanting) Betty, don't push!
1364 01:24:52,000 01:24:54,875 -(screams) -(chanting) Betty, don't scream! -(screams) -(chanting) Betty, don't scream!
1365 01:24:54,959 01:24:58,875 -Get off our land. -(chanting continues) Betty, don't scream! -Get off our land. -(chanting continues) Betty, don't scream!
1366 01:24:58,959 01:25:01,917 Aren't you forgetting something? Aren't you forgetting something?
1367 01:25:02,000 01:25:04,083 The keys to the B.M.W. The keys to the B.M.W.
1368 01:25:04,166 01:25:06,291 MAN: Cough 'em up. MAN: Cough 'em up.
1369 01:25:06,375 01:25:10,166 -BETTY: (screaming) -Okay, honey! -BETTY: (screaming) -Okay, honey!
1370 01:25:13,333 01:25:17,667 -BETTY: It's all your fault, Lewis! -You nerds did this to me. -BETTY: It's all your fault, Lewis! -You nerds did this to me.
1371 01:25:19,458 01:25:21,709 But I'll get you... But I'll get you...
1372 01:25:21,792 01:25:25,250 if it's the last thing I do! if it's the last thing I do!
1373 01:25:25,333 01:25:28,125 -(grunting) -(laughing) -(grunting) -(laughing)
1374 01:25:28,208 01:25:31,083 -Bye, Chip. -Hmph! -Bye, Chip. -Hmph!
1375 01:25:31,166 01:25:33,125 MAN: Bye, Chip. (laughter) MAN: Bye, Chip. (laughter)
1376 01:25:33,208 01:25:35,875 My next husband's going to be a nerd. My next husband's going to be a nerd.
1377 01:25:40,834 01:25:44,500 I, uh--I would like to make an announcement. I, uh--I would like to make an announcement.
1378 01:25:44,583 01:25:47,250 -(Betty screams) -I have, uh, -(Betty screams) -I have, uh,
1379 01:25:48,375 01:25:50,083 been a jerk for this whole wedding. been a jerk for this whole wedding.
1380 01:25:50,166 01:25:53,166 You certainly have. You certainly have.
1381 01:25:53,250 01:25:55,417 Well, I've...I-I never been around a nerd before, Well, I've...I-I never been around a nerd before,
1382 01:25:55,500 01:25:58,291 and I guess, uh-- and I guess, uh--
1383 01:25:58,375 01:26:00,959 well, I guess I judged a book by its cover. well, I guess I judged a book by its cover.
1384 01:26:01,041 01:26:04,333 -(groaning) -Booger. -(groaning) -Booger.
1385 01:26:06,166 01:26:08,750 I know you and my Jeanie are gonna be very happy together I know you and my Jeanie are gonna be very happy together
1386 01:26:08,834 01:26:11,834 because you know what you are and you're proud of it. because you know what you are and you're proud of it.
1387 01:26:15,375 01:26:17,125 Well, I'm, uh, Well, I'm, uh,
1388 01:26:17,208 01:26:20,041 sick of trying to be something I'm not. sick of trying to be something I'm not.
1389 01:26:20,125 01:26:22,375 Come on! Push, honey, push! Push! Come on! Push, honey, push! Push!
1390 01:26:22,458 01:26:24,041 Tippy. Tippy.
1391 01:26:24,125 01:26:26,625 NERDS (chanting): Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! NERDS (chanting): Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push!
1392 01:26:26,709 01:26:30,000 -I-- -Push, Betty, push! -I-- -Push, Betty, push!
1393 01:26:30,083 01:26:31,959 I-- I--
1394 01:26:34,458 01:26:36,792 I am nouveau riche and I'm proud of it! I am nouveau riche and I'm proud of it!
1395 01:26:40,750 01:26:45,875 Mylan, if who I am isn't good enough for the Republican party of this state, Mylan, if who I am isn't good enough for the Republican party of this state,
1396 01:26:45,959 01:26:48,000 then to hell with the nomination! then to hell with the nomination!
1397 01:26:48,083 01:26:51,000 -And that is the truth! -NERDS: Push, Betty, push! -And that is the truth! -NERDS: Push, Betty, push!
1398 01:26:51,083 01:26:54,000 The nerds have brought my man back. The nerds have brought my man back.
1399 01:26:54,083 01:26:56,041 WOMEN: Aw! WOMEN: Aw!
1400 01:26:56,125 01:26:58,166 -(gasps) -(gasps) -(gasps) -(gasps)
1401 01:26:58,250 01:27:00,375 -Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! -(screams) -Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! -(screams)
1402 01:27:00,458 01:27:03,709 -Push, Betty, push! -Wow. -Push, Betty, push! -Wow.
1403 01:27:03,792 01:27:07,125 Hey, hey, hey. Don't go. Hey, hey, hey. Don't go.
1404 01:27:12,458 01:27:15,542 What would you say if I said What would you say if I said
1405 01:27:15,625 01:27:18,542 we should adopt Heidi? we should adopt Heidi?
1406 01:27:18,625 01:27:20,542 (Betty screams) (Betty screams)
1407 01:27:20,625 01:27:24,041 I would say that I love you even more than I already do, I would say that I love you even more than I already do,
1408 01:27:24,125 01:27:26,792 and I didn't think that was possible. and I didn't think that was possible.
1409 01:27:29,458 01:27:32,208 You gave up what you wanted to tell the truth. You gave up what you wanted to tell the truth.
1410 01:27:32,291 01:27:34,917 I really admire that quality in a person. I really admire that quality in a person.
1411 01:27:35,000 01:27:38,625 Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push!
1412 01:27:38,709 01:27:42,542 It's coming! It's coming, Betty! Come on. Push, honey, push! It's coming! It's coming, Betty! Come on. Push, honey, push!
1413 01:27:42,625 01:27:45,333 -BETTY: (grunting) -(baby crying) -BETTY: (grunting) -(baby crying)
1414 01:27:47,834 01:27:50,959 (crying continues) (crying continues)
1415 01:27:51,041 01:27:54,750 Oh. Oh, it's so beautiful. Oh. Oh, it's so beautiful.
1416 01:27:54,834 01:27:57,709 Our son is born. Our son is born.
1417 01:27:57,792 01:28:00,041 Kunta Skolnick! Kunta Skolnick!
1418 01:28:08,166 01:28:10,458 Behold the nerd child. Behold the nerd child.
1419 01:28:15,000 01:28:19,000 I see before me two souls who desire to be joined together. I see before me two souls who desire to be joined together.
1420 01:28:19,083 01:28:21,166 There's no greater challenge in life, There's no greater challenge in life,
1421 01:28:21,250 01:28:25,417 and also, no greater reward. (guffaws) and also, no greater reward. (guffaws)
1422 01:28:25,500 01:28:28,166 (crying) (crying)
1423 01:28:30,417 01:28:34,583 Do you, Dudley Dawson, take this woman, Jean Lagarde Humphrey, Do you, Dudley Dawson, take this woman, Jean Lagarde Humphrey,
1424 01:28:34,667 01:28:36,542 to be your lawful wife? to be your lawful wife?
1425 01:28:38,083 01:28:41,125 Before I answer that, I just want to say Before I answer that, I just want to say
1426 01:28:41,208 01:28:43,250 this is the happiest moment of my life. this is the happiest moment of my life.
1427 01:28:47,417 01:28:48,875 I do. I do.
1428 01:28:50,083 01:28:52,500 And do you, Jean Lagarde Humphrey, take this man, Dudley Dawson, And do you, Jean Lagarde Humphrey, take this man, Dudley Dawson,
1429 01:28:52,583 01:28:54,583 to be your lawfully wedded husband? to be your lawfully wedded husband?
1430 01:28:54,667 01:28:56,542 Excuse me. Excuse me.
1431 01:28:58,375 01:29:01,625 I'm going to love you till the end of time. I'm going to love you till the end of time.
1432 01:29:01,709 01:29:04,875 NERDS: (crying) NERDS: (crying)
1433 01:29:04,959 01:29:08,667 -I do. -Then with the power invested in me -I do. -Then with the power invested in me
1434 01:29:08,750 01:29:12,667 by the Tilhoon Institute of Home Learning Church, by the Tilhoon Institute of Home Learning Church,
1435 01:29:12,750 01:29:15,250 I now pronounce you husband and wife. I now pronounce you husband and wife.
1436 01:29:21,709 01:29:23,792 (guffaws) (guffaws)
1437 01:29:25,542 01:29:27,625 Ohh! Ohh!
1438 01:29:34,542 01:29:38,333 Nerds forever! Forever nerds! Nerds forever! Forever nerds!
1439 01:29:38,417 01:29:42,208 Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
1440 01:29:42,291 01:29:46,083 GUESTS (chanting): Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! GUESTS (chanting): Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
1441 01:29:46,166 01:29:49,125 ♪♪ (dance rock) ♪♪ (dance rock)
1442 01:29:53,083 01:29:56,458 ♪♪ (singing in Japanese) ♪♪ (singing in Japanese)
1443 01:29:57,750 01:30:04,792 ♪♪ (continues singing in Japanese) ♪♪ (continues singing in Japanese)
1444 01:30:06,792 01:30:11,667 -♪♪ -(cheering, laughing) -♪♪ -(cheering, laughing)
1445 01:30:15,291 01:30:17,583 Ooh, ooh, ooh. (laughing) Ooh, ooh, ooh. (laughing)
1446 01:30:23,333 01:30:25,959 Oh, Aaron. Oh, Aaron.
1447 01:30:26,834 01:30:28,834 (singing in Japanese) (singing in Japanese)
1448 01:30:30,792 01:30:35,458 TAKASHI: (continues singing in Japanese) TAKASHI: (continues singing in Japanese)
1449 01:30:47,500 01:30:51,417 ♪♪ ♪♪
1450 01:30:51,500 01:30:52,709 Woo! Woo!
1451 01:30:54,500 01:30:55,834 Ya-hee! Ya-hee!
1452 01:30:57,333 01:30:58,333 (laughing) (laughing)
1453 01:30:59,667 01:31:03,166 -(cheering) -Muah! -(cheering) -Muah!
1454 01:31:05,500 01:31:09,792 ♪♪ (continues in Japanese) ♪♪ (continues in Japanese)
1455 01:31:09,875 01:31:14,125 TAKASHI (in English): ♪ Darling, I love you ♪ TAKASHI (in English): ♪ Darling, I love you ♪
1456 01:31:14,208 01:31:17,125 ♪ Oh, darling ♪ ♪ Oh, darling ♪
1457 01:31:17,208 01:31:19,250 ♪ Darling, I love you ♪ ♪ Darling, I love you ♪
1458 01:31:19,333 01:31:21,583 ♪ Love you ♪ ♪ Love you ♪
1459 01:31:22,542 01:31:27,417 ♪ Darling ♪ ♪ Darling ♪
1460 01:31:27,500 01:31:31,250 -(music stops) -(applauding, cheering) -(music stops) -(applauding, cheering)
1461 01:31:31,333 01:31:34,208 Lewis, thanks for everything. Lewis, thanks for everything.
1462 01:31:36,375 01:31:38,542 It's gonna be a great year. It's gonna be a great year.
1463 01:31:40,250 01:31:43,333 (all guffawing) (all guffawing)
1464 01:31:47,917 01:31:49,834 (chattering) (chattering)
1465 01:31:49,917 01:31:51,709 Enhanced by Point.360 Enhanced by Point.360