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1 | 00:00:17,208 | 00:00:22,083 | MAN (narrating): In the beginning, God created the universe, | MAN (narrating): In the beginning, God created the universe, |
2 | 00:00:25,375 | 00:00:27,208 | the heavens... | the heavens... |
3 | 00:00:29,083 | 00:00:31,208 | and the Earth. | and the Earth. |
4 | 00:00:37,709 | 00:00:42,750 | Then God created the first nerd. | Then God created the first nerd. |
5 | 00:00:50,959 | 00:00:53,959 | ♪♪ | ♪♪ |
6 | 00:01:04,959 | 00:01:07,083 | (chattering) | (chattering) |
7 | 00:01:12,834 | 00:01:15,875 | I'm going to take note on your champagne glasses. | I'm going to take note on your champagne glasses. |
8 | 00:01:15,959 | 00:01:20,250 | Check the silver service and make sure that it's properly polished. | Check the silver service and make sure that it's properly polished. |
9 | 00:01:20,333 | 00:01:23,375 | Eugene, take this to the kitchen. Make sure the steam tables have arrived. | Eugene, take this to the kitchen. Make sure the steam tables have arrived. |
10 | 00:01:23,458 | 00:01:26,166 | Check on the tablecloths and make sure they're the right color. | Check on the tablecloths and make sure they're the right color. |
11 | 00:01:29,291 | 00:01:31,917 | (continues chattering) | (continues chattering) |
12 | 00:01:32,000 | 00:01:34,250 | Oh, boy. Oh, boy, I don't know. | Oh, boy. Oh, boy, I don't know. |
13 | 00:01:34,333 | 00:01:36,709 | Aaron, relax. You're driving us all crazy. | Aaron, relax. You're driving us all crazy. |
14 | 00:01:36,792 | 00:01:38,875 | This better be a great wedding. | This better be a great wedding. |
15 | 00:01:38,959 | 00:01:42,083 | Every political heavyweight from the party is gonna be there checking me out. | Every political heavyweight from the party is gonna be there checking me out. |
16 | 00:01:42,166 | 00:01:45,750 | Jeanie's wedding is going to be wonderful. Fix your ascot. | Jeanie's wedding is going to be wonderful. Fix your ascot. |
17 | 00:01:45,834 | 00:01:49,875 | How come we never met this guy that Jeanie's marrying? | How come we never met this guy that Jeanie's marrying? |
18 | 00:01:49,959 | 00:01:52,583 | -What's his name again? -Dudley Dawson. | -What's his name again? -Dudley Dawson. |
19 | 00:01:52,667 | 00:01:56,750 | -Yeah. -Hey, I wonder if he's from the Schenectady Dawsons. | -Yeah. -Hey, I wonder if he's from the Schenectady Dawsons. |
20 | 00:01:56,834 | 00:01:59,250 | They're a very powerful family back east. | They're a very powerful family back east. |
21 | 00:01:59,333 | 00:02:01,417 | (snaps fingers) I went to school with Cap Dawson. | (snaps fingers) I went to school with Cap Dawson. |
22 | 00:02:01,500 | 00:02:05,250 | -Talk about your blue bloods. -Isn't it just a little bit strange | -Talk about your blue bloods. -Isn't it just a little bit strange |
23 | 00:02:05,333 | 00:02:09,000 | that Jeanie never brought, uh, what's-his-butt over here before? | that Jeanie never brought, uh, what's-his-butt over here before? |
24 | 00:02:09,083 | 00:02:13,291 | (scoffs) His name is Dudley. They only met three months ago. | (scoffs) His name is Dudley. They only met three months ago. |
25 | 00:02:13,375 | 00:02:15,458 | I know I'd be a shoo-in with the people | I know I'd be a shoo-in with the people |
26 | 00:02:15,542 | 00:02:18,333 | if I could just get those old-money blue bloods to endorse my candidacy. | if I could just get those old-money blue bloods to endorse my candidacy. |
27 | 00:02:18,417 | 00:02:20,917 | And they'd be damn fools not to, Dad, | And they'd be damn fools not to, Dad, |
28 | 00:02:21,000 | 00:02:23,583 | irregardless of the fact that you are nouveau riche. | irregardless of the fact that you are nouveau riche. |
29 | 00:02:28,208 | 00:02:31,917 | Don't you ever use that phrase in this house! | Don't you ever use that phrase in this house! |
30 | 00:02:32,000 | 00:02:37,458 | I am not nouveau riche. I am a self-made businessman. | I am not nouveau riche. I am a self-made businessman. |
31 | 00:02:37,542 | 00:02:40,291 | And I'm not your dad. I'm your father-in-law. Get it? | And I'm not your dad. I'm your father-in-law. Get it? |
32 | 00:02:40,375 | 00:02:44,792 | Right. Self-made businessman. Father-in law. I-I got it. | Right. Self-made businessman. Father-in law. I-I got it. |
33 | 00:02:44,875 | 00:02:47,500 | Can we please stop talking about the campaign for a minute? | Can we please stop talking about the campaign for a minute? |
34 | 00:02:47,583 | 00:02:50,667 | Focus on Jeanie's wedding. That's what's important here. | Focus on Jeanie's wedding. That's what's important here. |
35 | 00:02:50,750 | 00:02:53,041 | Gaylord's right, as usual. | Gaylord's right, as usual. |
36 | 00:02:54,542 | 00:02:58,041 | -WOMAN: Hi, everybody. -Jeanie! | -WOMAN: Hi, everybody. -Jeanie! |
37 | 00:03:00,125 | 00:03:03,625 | -You look wonderful. -Thank you. | -You look wonderful. -Thank you. |
38 | 00:03:03,709 | 00:03:05,542 | I love that outfit. | I love that outfit. |
39 | 00:03:05,625 | 00:03:07,834 | You do? | You do? |
40 | 00:03:07,917 | 00:03:11,375 | -So, you excited? -Oh, yeah. (laughs) | -So, you excited? -Oh, yeah. (laughs) |
41 | 00:03:11,458 | 00:03:14,375 | Where'd you meet... Dudley? | Where'd you meet... Dudley? |
42 | 00:03:14,458 | 00:03:17,750 | Well, at a ham and lima bean cookout. | Well, at a ham and lima bean cookout. |
43 | 00:03:23,542 | 00:03:26,208 | It was an Omega Mu sorority fund-raiser. | It was an Omega Mu sorority fund-raiser. |
44 | 00:03:26,792 | 00:03:28,834 | Oh, ho, ho, sure, sure. The... | Oh, ho, ho, sure, sure. The... |
45 | 00:03:28,917 | 00:03:31,875 | the Schenectady Dawsons are very big with sororities | the Schenectady Dawsons are very big with sororities |
46 | 00:03:31,959 | 00:03:34,166 | and fund-raisers and cookouts. | and fund-raisers and cookouts. |
47 | 00:03:34,250 | 00:03:35,542 | (doorbell ringing) | (doorbell ringing) |
48 | 00:03:35,625 | 00:03:38,667 | All your questions will be answered in a moment. | All your questions will be answered in a moment. |
49 | 00:03:38,750 | 00:03:40,834 | -(knocking) -Oh! | -(knocking) -Oh! |
50 | 00:03:40,917 | 00:03:43,125 | -Booger? -Why'd she call him Booger? | -Booger? -Why'd she call him Booger? |
51 | 00:03:45,125 | 00:03:47,041 | -Baby! -Oh! | -Baby! -Oh! |
52 | 00:03:47,125 | 00:03:49,041 | Oh, honey. | Oh, honey. |
53 | 00:03:49,125 | 00:03:52,417 | Oh... buns. | Oh... buns. |
54 | 00:03:52,500 | 00:03:54,917 | -Give me buns! -(shrieks) | -Give me buns! -(shrieks) |
55 | 00:03:55,000 | 00:03:57,709 | -May I have them, please? -Stop it! | -May I have them, please? -Stop it! |
56 | 00:03:57,792 | 00:03:59,834 | -Give me buns! -Shh! No! Shh! | -Give me buns! -Shh! No! Shh! |
57 | 00:03:59,917 | 00:04:02,709 | Moo! Moo! | Moo! Moo! |
58 | 00:04:02,792 | 00:04:04,208 | My family is waiting to meet you. | My family is waiting to meet you. |
59 | 00:04:04,291 | 00:04:05,500 | (groans) | (groans) |
60 | 00:04:05,583 | 00:04:07,166 | (gasps) Mommy! | (gasps) Mommy! |
61 | 00:04:08,792 | 00:04:10,542 | Tippy! Tippy! | Tippy! Tippy! |
62 | 00:04:10,625 | 00:04:14,291 | -What happened? -Mommy fainted. | -What happened? -Mommy fainted. |
63 | 00:04:14,375 | 00:04:16,583 | Gosh, are you all right, Mrs. Humphrey? | Gosh, are you all right, Mrs. Humphrey? |
64 | 00:04:16,667 | 00:04:17,583 | Yeah, I-- | Yeah, I-- |
65 | 00:04:17,667 | 00:04:19,917 | She'll be fine. Can I ask you a question? | She'll be fine. Can I ask you a question? |
66 | 00:04:20,000 | 00:04:22,709 | Are you from the Schenectady Dawsons, railroad money? | Are you from the Schenectady Dawsons, railroad money? |
67 | 00:04:22,792 | 00:04:24,875 | -Hmm? -Uh, no. | -Hmm? -Uh, no. |
68 | 00:04:24,959 | 00:04:27,750 | The Detroit Dawsons. Sewing machine rental money. | The Detroit Dawsons. Sewing machine rental money. |
69 | 00:04:27,834 | 00:04:33,291 | -There's gonna be an egg. Where's the kitchen? -Oh, to the left! | -There's gonna be an egg. Where's the kitchen? -Oh, to the left! |
70 | 00:04:33,375 | 00:04:36,250 | -Are you all right, Mommy? -Yes, yes, I'm fine. | -Are you all right, Mommy? -Yes, yes, I'm fine. |
71 | 00:04:36,333 | 00:04:38,750 | I don't know what came over me. Oh! | I don't know what came over me. Oh! |
72 | 00:04:38,834 | 00:04:40,709 | Sewing machine rental money? | Sewing machine rental money? |
73 | 00:04:40,792 | 00:04:43,542 | My God, he's a nerd! | My God, he's a nerd! |
74 | 00:04:43,625 | 00:04:45,291 | (all gasp) | (all gasp) |
75 | 00:04:45,375 | 00:04:48,041 | A nerd? How can you tell? | A nerd? How can you tell? |
76 | 00:04:48,125 | 00:04:50,750 | There were a lot of nerds at USC. | There were a lot of nerds at USC. |
77 | 00:04:50,834 | 00:04:53,959 | I can smell a nerd a mile away. | I can smell a nerd a mile away. |
78 | 00:04:54,041 | 00:04:57,291 | Well, I've heard nerds make wonderful husbands. | Well, I've heard nerds make wonderful husbands. |
79 | 00:04:57,375 | 00:05:00,834 | And they're smart too. | And they're smart too. |
80 | 00:05:00,917 | 00:05:03,750 | She's obviously getting even with us for something. | She's obviously getting even with us for something. |
81 | 00:05:06,417 | 00:05:08,750 | -Beef! We need beef! -In there! | -Beef! We need beef! -In there! |
82 | 00:05:11,917 | 00:05:14,333 | That was kind of a rocky start with your family. | That was kind of a rocky start with your family. |
83 | 00:05:14,417 | 00:05:16,458 | Oh, everything's fine. My mom's great. | Oh, everything's fine. My mom's great. |
84 | 00:05:16,542 | 00:05:18,583 | I'm sure she's just overwhelmed from all the excitement. | I'm sure she's just overwhelmed from all the excitement. |
85 | 00:05:18,667 | 00:05:21,834 | -Well then, you don't think it's because they don't like me? -Booger, I love you. | -Well then, you don't think it's because they don't like me? -Booger, I love you. |
86 | 00:05:21,917 | 00:05:26,166 | Well, yeah, I know you-- I got it! I know you do. | Well, yeah, I know you-- I got it! I know you do. |
87 | 00:05:26,250 | 00:05:29,458 | But I was just afraid maybe your "mishpukin'" was thinking you were "mistookin'." | But I was just afraid maybe your "mishpukin'" was thinking you were "mistookin'." |
88 | 00:05:29,542 | 00:05:32,083 | They're gonna love you too, Booger. I know they will. | They're gonna love you too, Booger. I know they will. |
89 | 00:05:32,166 | 00:05:34,500 | -(exhales) -Oh! | -(exhales) -Oh! |
90 | 00:05:34,583 | 00:05:37,458 | Here you go, Mrs. Humphrey. Put this on the--Hey! | Here you go, Mrs. Humphrey. Put this on the--Hey! |
91 | 00:05:37,542 | 00:05:40,125 | -Oh! -(gasps) | -Oh! -(gasps) |
92 | 00:05:40,208 | 00:05:43,333 | BOOGER: Don't move. Don't move. Excuse me. That was clumsy. | BOOGER: Don't move. Don't move. Excuse me. That was clumsy. |
93 | 00:05:43,417 | 00:05:47,834 | -Ahh... -There we go. I've got it. | -Ahh... -There we go. I've got it. |
94 | 00:05:47,917 | 00:05:50,333 | Can I speak to you a second, Jeanie? | Can I speak to you a second, Jeanie? |
95 | 00:05:50,417 | 00:05:52,041 | Sure. | Sure. |
96 | 00:05:56,083 | 00:05:58,834 | Thank you, dear. | Thank you, dear. |
97 | 00:05:58,917 | 00:06:01,041 | It stops the swelling. | It stops the swelling. |
98 | 00:06:06,250 | 00:06:07,500 | Are you pregnant? | Are you pregnant? |
99 | 00:06:07,583 | 00:06:10,041 | Pregnant? No! | Pregnant? No! |
100 | 00:06:10,750 | 00:06:12,917 | You mean, you don't have to marry him? | You mean, you don't have to marry him? |
101 | 00:06:13,125 | 00:06:14,083 | Daddy! | Daddy! |
102 | 00:06:15,291 | 00:06:18,000 | I would like you to come with me to a cult deprogrammer. | I would like you to come with me to a cult deprogrammer. |
103 | 00:06:18,291 | 00:06:21,667 | J-J-J-Just show up there and be open. That's all I ask. | J-J-J-Just show up there and be open. That's all I ask. |
104 | 00:06:23,125 | 00:06:25,041 | I just can't believe you're saying this. | I just can't believe you're saying this. |
105 | 00:06:25,125 | 00:06:26,208 | (whimpers) | (whimpers) |
106 | 00:06:26,291 | 00:06:28,583 | Wh-wh-where are you going? | Wh-wh-where are you going? |
107 | 00:06:28,667 | 00:06:30,917 | This is good stuff I'm telling you. | This is good stuff I'm telling you. |
108 | 00:06:31,000 | 00:06:33,917 | (sobbing) I love Booger! | (sobbing) I love Booger! |
109 | 00:06:34,000 | 00:06:38,250 | And I'm gonna marry him no matter what you think! (sobbing) | And I'm gonna marry him no matter what you think! (sobbing) |
110 | 00:06:38,333 | 00:06:39,917 | Jeanie? | Jeanie? |
111 | 00:06:40,000 | 00:06:42,709 | -Sweetheart, you're overreacting. -(door slams) | -Sweetheart, you're overreacting. -(door slams) |
112 | 00:06:42,792 | 00:06:45,500 | -What did you say to her? -Nothing. | -What did you say to her? -Nothing. |
113 | 00:06:45,583 | 00:06:48,125 | Nothing. We just had a little conversation, that's all. | Nothing. We just had a little conversation, that's all. |
114 | 00:06:48,500 | 00:06:52,250 | Ahh... Can't we all just get along? | Ahh... Can't we all just get along? |
115 | 00:06:52,333 | 00:06:55,875 | She comes home with a guy who looks like he came out of a vending machine, | She comes home with a guy who looks like he came out of a vending machine, |
116 | 00:06:55,959 | 00:06:58,875 | -and I'm the one who's wrong. -TIPPY: Jeanie. Jeanie. | -and I'm the one who's wrong. -TIPPY: Jeanie. Jeanie. |
117 | 00:07:02,333 | 00:07:04,500 | What a world. | What a world. |
118 | 00:07:05,500 | 00:07:06,959 | Hey! | Hey! |
119 | 00:07:08,291 | 00:07:10,625 | Hi. I'm Jeanie's sister, Gaylord. | Hi. I'm Jeanie's sister, Gaylord. |
120 | 00:07:10,709 | 00:07:13,792 | And this is my husband, Chip. Chip Medford. | And this is my husband, Chip. Chip Medford. |
121 | 00:07:13,875 | 00:07:17,125 | Great idea. Having the wedding on Valentine's Day. (laughs) | Great idea. Having the wedding on Valentine's Day. (laughs) |
122 | 00:07:25,208 | 00:07:28,250 | Are you sure your best man knows where we are located? | Are you sure your best man knows where we are located? |
123 | 00:07:28,333 | 00:07:30,875 | Oh, he'll find it all right. | Oh, he'll find it all right. |
124 | 00:07:32,375 | 00:07:35,291 | As a matter of fact, he will be here in exactly | As a matter of fact, he will be here in exactly |
125 | 00:07:35,375 | 00:07:37,291 | seven seconds. | seven seconds. |
126 | 00:07:37,375 | 00:07:40,458 | Five, four, | Five, four, |
127 | 00:07:40,542 | 00:07:43,709 | three, two, one. | three, two, one. |
128 | 00:07:46,542 | 00:07:50,333 | Right on the button. Lewis! | Right on the button. Lewis! |
129 | 00:07:51,500 | 00:07:53,125 | Booger! | Booger! |
130 | 00:07:53,208 | 00:07:55,333 | Pull in here! | Pull in here! |
131 | 00:07:55,417 | 00:07:58,542 | (honks horn) | (honks horn) |
132 | 00:08:04,417 | 00:08:06,709 | (hydraulics brakes hissing) | (hydraulics brakes hissing) |
133 | 00:08:09,166 | 00:08:13,083 | (both laughing) | (both laughing) |
134 | 00:08:13,166 | 00:08:16,625 | -Oh, Booger's wedding. -Yeah! | -Oh, Booger's wedding. -Yeah! |
135 | 00:08:16,709 | 00:08:19,750 | -(singsong) ♪ Booger's gettin' married ♪ -Oh, come on. Stop it! | -(singsong) ♪ Booger's gettin' married ♪ -Oh, come on. Stop it! |
136 | 00:08:19,834 | 00:08:21,834 | Hey, what do you think of the truck? | Hey, what do you think of the truck? |
137 | 00:08:21,917 | 00:08:24,291 | Well... well, I would expect nothing else from the king of the nerds. | Well... well, I would expect nothing else from the king of the nerds. |
138 | 00:08:24,375 | 00:08:26,166 | -It's got everything. -Where's Betty? | -It's got everything. -Where's Betty? |
139 | 00:08:26,250 | 00:08:28,792 | Oh, follow me. | Oh, follow me. |
140 | 00:08:28,875 | 00:08:30,709 | Would you like to see my unborn fetal son? | Would you like to see my unborn fetal son? |
141 | 00:08:30,792 | 00:08:34,000 | -Yeah. -This is a state-of-the-art, remote-activated, | -Yeah. -This is a state-of-the-art, remote-activated, |
142 | 00:08:34,083 | 00:08:37,500 | microwave-transmitted, bilingual, five DB-gain, | microwave-transmitted, bilingual, five DB-gain, |
143 | 00:08:37,583 | 00:08:40,625 | semi-duplex fetal monitor. | semi-duplex fetal monitor. |
144 | 00:08:40,709 | 00:08:43,667 | I can check on the development, the vital signs of my unborn | I can check on the development, the vital signs of my unborn |
145 | 00:08:43,750 | 00:08:46,375 | fetal son from anywhere in the universe. | fetal son from anywhere in the universe. |
146 | 00:08:46,458 | 00:08:48,166 | (laughs) Look. | (laughs) Look. |
147 | 00:08:48,250 | 00:08:50,166 | There's his tinkler. | There's his tinkler. |
148 | 00:08:50,250 | 00:08:52,875 | Just like the old man, huh? | Just like the old man, huh? |
149 | 00:08:52,959 | 00:08:55,250 | (both guffawing) | (both guffawing) |
150 | 00:09:03,667 | 00:09:07,041 | -Booger! -Betty! | -Booger! -Betty! |
151 | 00:09:07,125 | 00:09:11,667 | -What is this? -An Airbus A300 WhisperJet | -What is this? -An Airbus A300 WhisperJet |
152 | 00:09:11,750 | 00:09:16,375 | could land right on our truck, and Betty and our unborn fetal son wouldn't even be hurt. | could land right on our truck, and Betty and our unborn fetal son wouldn't even be hurt. |
153 | 00:09:16,458 | 00:09:18,667 | -Lewis? -Hmm? | -Lewis? -Hmm? |
154 | 00:09:18,750 | 00:09:21,041 | Could you let me out of here? | Could you let me out of here? |
155 | 00:09:21,125 | 00:09:23,834 | -Oh, sure, Betty. -Here. Let me give you a hand. | -Oh, sure, Betty. -Here. Let me give you a hand. |
156 | 00:09:23,917 | 00:09:25,750 | -Thank you. -(hisses) | -Thank you. -(hisses) |
157 | 00:09:25,834 | 00:09:27,917 | (all laughing) | (all laughing) |
158 | 00:09:28,000 | 00:09:30,583 | Hey, so, Booger, how are things going with the in-laws? | Hey, so, Booger, how are things going with the in-laws? |
159 | 00:09:30,667 | 00:09:33,208 | Well, things were going okay, | Well, things were going okay, |
160 | 00:09:33,291 | 00:09:35,709 | until my mother-in-law passed out and cracked her head on the coffee table. | until my mother-in-law passed out and cracked her head on the coffee table. |
161 | 00:09:35,792 | 00:09:36,875 | BOTH: Oh. | BOTH: Oh. |
162 | 00:09:36,959 | 00:09:40,291 | And I don't think my father-in-law likes me at all. | And I don't think my father-in-law likes me at all. |
163 | 00:09:40,625 | 00:09:41,542 | BOTH: Oh. | BOTH: Oh. |
164 | 00:09:41,625 | 00:09:43,709 | He's one of those pretentious, | He's one of those pretentious, |
165 | 00:09:43,792 | 00:09:46,834 | hoity-toity, nouveau riche types. | hoity-toity, nouveau riche types. |
166 | 00:09:47,709 | 00:09:50,041 | -He may be anti-nerd. -(both gasp) | -He may be anti-nerd. -(both gasp) |
167 | 00:09:50,125 | 00:09:52,750 | Oh, no. | Oh, no. |
168 | 00:09:52,834 | 00:09:55,250 | Why does this always have to poke its ugly head out? | Why does this always have to poke its ugly head out? |
169 | 00:09:55,333 | 00:09:58,750 | Indeed. We need to nip this in the bud. | Indeed. We need to nip this in the bud. |
170 | 00:09:58,834 | 00:10:03,417 | Booger, I want you to know I take my job as best man very seriously. | Booger, I want you to know I take my job as best man very seriously. |
171 | 00:10:03,500 | 00:10:06,875 | And I will take care of everything, including Jeanie's old man. | And I will take care of everything, including Jeanie's old man. |
172 | 00:10:06,959 | 00:10:09,792 | Never fear, Skolnick's here. | Never fear, Skolnick's here. |
173 | 00:10:09,875 | 00:10:12,375 | -I love you, you big galoot. -(laughs) | -I love you, you big galoot. -(laughs) |
174 | 00:10:12,458 | 00:10:15,083 | (laughs) I feel better already. | (laughs) I feel better already. |
175 | 00:10:15,166 | 00:10:18,208 | -(horn honks) -Hey, here comes the gang. | -(horn honks) -Hey, here comes the gang. |
176 | 00:10:18,291 | 00:10:21,750 | - ♪ Take one down pass it around ♪ -Hey, guys! | - ♪ Take one down pass it around ♪ -Hey, guys! |
177 | 00:10:21,834 | 00:10:24,583 | ♪ No bottles of beer on the wall ♪ | ♪ No bottles of beer on the wall ♪ |
178 | 00:10:24,667 | 00:10:28,375 | (whooping, chattering) | (whooping, chattering) |
179 | 00:10:33,000 | 00:10:35,834 | -Lamar! -Party, party, party! | -Lamar! -Party, party, party! |
180 | 00:10:35,917 | 00:10:37,166 | Booger! | Booger! |
181 | 00:10:37,250 | 00:10:39,625 | (laughing) | (laughing) |
182 | 00:10:39,709 | 00:10:42,792 | -(camera shutter clicks) -Nerds are here! | -(camera shutter clicks) -Nerds are here! |
183 | 00:10:42,875 | 00:10:45,041 | -Takashi! -Booger! | -Takashi! -Booger! |
184 | 00:10:47,250 | 00:10:50,125 | -Lewis! Hi, Lewis. -Takash, how are you? Good to see you. | -Lewis! Hi, Lewis. -Takash, how are you? Good to see you. |
185 | 00:10:50,208 | 00:10:53,333 | Oh, Betty! Oh, ho, ho! Betty so big. | Oh, Betty! Oh, ho, ho! Betty so big. |
186 | 00:10:53,417 | 00:10:56,583 | -(laughs) -Oh, look at you! | -(laughs) -Oh, look at you! |
187 | 00:10:56,667 | 00:10:59,792 | -Oh, Judy! -Uncle Lewis! | -Oh, Judy! -Uncle Lewis! |
188 | 00:10:59,875 | 00:11:02,750 | -Harold! Good trip? -Ah, ho, it was great. | -Harold! Good trip? -Ah, ho, it was great. |
189 | 00:11:02,834 | 00:11:05,792 | You know, the bus driver said we were the first group ever | You know, the bus driver said we were the first group ever |
190 | 00:11:05,875 | 00:11:08,500 | to make it all the way through "A Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall?" | to make it all the way through "A Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall?" |
191 | 00:11:08,583 | 00:11:11,333 | -(laughing) -BOOGER: Yes! Hey! | -(laughing) -BOOGER: Yes! Hey! |
192 | 00:11:11,417 | 00:11:14,667 | It's been delightful motoring with you. | It's been delightful motoring with you. |
193 | 00:11:14,750 | 00:11:17,500 | Trevor, how was the trip? | Trevor, how was the trip? |
194 | 00:11:17,583 | 00:11:19,625 | I only got carsick twice. | I only got carsick twice. |
195 | 00:11:19,709 | 00:11:22,208 | Oh, ho, ho, ho! I'm proud of you, laddie. | Oh, ho, ho, ho! I'm proud of you, laddie. |
196 | 00:11:22,291 | 00:11:24,041 | (both speaking Spanish) | (both speaking Spanish) |
197 | 00:11:27,291 | 00:11:29,542 | I am--I am just so thrilled you all showed up. | I am--I am just so thrilled you all showed up. |
198 | 00:11:31,542 | 00:11:34,458 | -BOTH: Stan! -Hi, guys. | -BOTH: Stan! -Hi, guys. |
199 | 00:11:34,542 | 00:11:37,375 | -Stan! (laughs) -Booger! | -Stan! (laughs) -Booger! |
200 | 00:11:37,458 | 00:11:40,041 | -Great to see you. -You too. | -Great to see you. -You too. |
201 | 00:11:40,125 | 00:11:42,250 | Oh, Betty, you're gonna make such a pretty mom. | Oh, Betty, you're gonna make such a pretty mom. |
202 | 00:11:44,041 | 00:11:46,125 | Stan, you are such a nerd. | Stan, you are such a nerd. |
203 | 00:11:46,208 | 00:11:49,375 | Yeah, I sure am. I'm selling software up in Silicon Valley. | Yeah, I sure am. I'm selling software up in Silicon Valley. |
204 | 00:11:49,458 | 00:11:51,583 | -Ah, that's fantastic. -Yeah, I've never been happier in my whole life. | -Ah, that's fantastic. -Yeah, I've never been happier in my whole life. |
205 | 00:11:51,667 | 00:11:53,458 | (both guffawing) | (both guffawing) |
206 | 00:11:55,125 | 00:11:58,041 | (chanting) | (chanting) |
207 | 00:11:58,125 | 00:12:01,250 | Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! | Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! |
208 | 00:12:01,333 | 00:12:03,375 | -Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! -(moans) | -Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! -(moans) |
209 | 00:12:03,458 | 00:12:06,083 | Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! | Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! |
210 | 00:12:06,166 | 00:12:08,166 | Nerds! Nerds...Nerds. | Nerds! Nerds...Nerds. |
211 | 00:12:10,166 | 00:12:14,000 | Hey, it looks like you're breaking out. | Hey, it looks like you're breaking out. |
212 | 00:12:14,083 | 00:12:16,792 | What are you talking about? I've always had a perfect complexion. | What are you talking about? I've always had a perfect complexion. |
213 | 00:12:18,083 | 00:12:19,959 | I think you've got the chicken pox. | I think you've got the chicken pox. |
214 | 00:12:27,792 | 00:12:29,542 | Easy on the sauce, Aaron. | Easy on the sauce, Aaron. |
215 | 00:12:29,625 | 00:12:31,750 | You don't think I'm gonna go through this sober? | You don't think I'm gonna go through this sober? |
216 | 00:12:31,834 | 00:12:34,417 | Come on. Relax. It's not as bad as all that. | Come on. Relax. It's not as bad as all that. |
217 | 00:12:34,500 | 00:12:36,959 | What is this dog hair doing here? We don't have a dog. | What is this dog hair doing here? We don't have a dog. |
218 | 00:12:37,041 | 00:12:38,083 | ROMEO: Excuse me. | ROMEO: Excuse me. |
219 | 00:12:38,166 | 00:12:40,542 | Uh, do you prefer the salad forks to be chilled, | Uh, do you prefer the salad forks to be chilled, |
220 | 00:12:40,625 | 00:12:42,709 | or the salad plates or both? | or the salad plates or both? |
221 | 00:12:42,792 | 00:12:45,375 | -Well, I-- -Figure it out. | -Well, I-- -Figure it out. |
222 | 00:12:45,458 | 00:12:47,792 | -Aaron! -Oh, I never. | -Aaron! -Oh, I never. |
223 | 00:12:47,875 | 00:12:52,125 | I cannot work in a vacuum. I need input. I need feedback. | I cannot work in a vacuum. I need input. I need feedback. |
224 | 00:12:52,208 | 00:12:54,583 | -Romeo! Romeo! -(mumbling) | -Romeo! Romeo! -(mumbling) |
225 | 00:12:54,667 | 00:12:57,458 | This is so unfair. | This is so unfair. |
226 | 00:12:57,542 | 00:13:00,250 | No one told me that I would be catering a wedding for a bunch | No one told me that I would be catering a wedding for a bunch |
227 | 00:13:00,333 | 00:13:01,709 | of nerds. | of nerds. |
228 | 00:13:01,792 | 00:13:04,250 | Romeo, don't leave, please. Please, no, no! | Romeo, don't leave, please. Please, no, no! |
229 | 00:13:04,333 | 00:13:07,000 | -MAN: Eugene! Eugene! -(horn honks) | -MAN: Eugene! Eugene! -(horn honks) |
230 | 00:13:15,375 | 00:13:17,083 | (mouthing words) | (mouthing words) |
231 | 00:13:18,875 | 00:13:21,542 | Well, it looks as though the happy event is about to begin. | Well, it looks as though the happy event is about to begin. |
232 | 00:13:22,875 | 00:13:25,667 | I worked hard my whole life. | I worked hard my whole life. |
233 | 00:13:25,750 | 00:13:31,208 | I started out at 13 selling cheap porcelain knickknacks door-to-door. | I started out at 13 selling cheap porcelain knickknacks door-to-door. |
234 | 00:13:31,709 | 00:13:33,583 | You know how hard that is? | You know how hard that is? |
235 | 00:13:34,208 | 00:13:36,125 | After she marries that nose-picking "jibony," | After she marries that nose-picking "jibony," |
236 | 00:13:36,208 | 00:13:38,333 | I can kiss my political career good-bye. | I can kiss my political career good-bye. |
237 | 00:13:39,041 | 00:13:40,792 | -Yeah. -Yeah. | -Yeah. -Yeah. |
238 | 00:13:40,875 | 00:13:44,041 | And you can kiss taking over Humphrey Industries good-bye. | And you can kiss taking over Humphrey Industries good-bye. |
239 | 00:13:46,375 | 00:13:50,166 | LEWIS: Yeah, I know. Maybe he'll let you guys live here. You'll have your own computer room. | LEWIS: Yeah, I know. Maybe he'll let you guys live here. You'll have your own computer room. |
240 | 00:13:51,041 | 00:13:54,083 | You know, there's two days before the wedding. | You know, there's two days before the wedding. |
241 | 00:13:54,166 | 00:13:57,291 | -A lot of things could happen. -Like what? | -A lot of things could happen. -Like what? |
242 | 00:13:57,375 | 00:14:00,875 | Engagements get canceled all the time for all sorts of reasons. | Engagements get canceled all the time for all sorts of reasons. |
243 | 00:14:00,959 | 00:14:03,000 | You mean break up the wedding? | You mean break up the wedding? |
244 | 00:14:03,083 | 00:14:05,834 | We all want what's best for the family. | We all want what's best for the family. |
245 | 00:14:05,917 | 00:14:08,500 | Break up my daughter's wedding? | Break up my daughter's wedding? |
246 | 00:14:08,583 | 00:14:11,291 | Don't even think about it. You-you got a nasty mind, Chip. | Don't even think about it. You-you got a nasty mind, Chip. |
247 | 00:14:11,375 | 00:14:13,834 | I hate when you have a nasty mind. Break up my daughter's wedding. | I hate when you have a nasty mind. Break up my daughter's wedding. |
248 | 00:14:13,917 | 00:14:15,750 | Geez. | Geez. |
249 | 00:14:18,625 | 00:14:23,000 | In addition to ruining any chance of a political career, | In addition to ruining any chance of a political career, |
250 | 00:14:23,083 | 00:14:24,834 | think for one minute... | think for one minute... |
251 | 00:14:24,917 | 00:14:27,583 | what this will do to the family tree. | what this will do to the family tree. |
252 | 00:14:41,500 | 00:14:44,750 | You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, | You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, |
253 | 00:14:44,834 | 00:14:47,333 | but you can't pick your relatives. | but you can't pick your relatives. |
254 | 00:14:52,166 | 00:14:54,166 | Do whatever you have to do. | Do whatever you have to do. |
255 | 00:14:58,834 | 00:15:02,750 | ♪♪ | ♪♪ |
256 | 00:15:05,750 | 00:15:07,542 | Smile pretty. Smile pretty. | Smile pretty. Smile pretty. |
257 | 00:15:07,625 | 00:15:10,166 | -(camera clicks) -Thank you. | -(camera clicks) -Thank you. |
258 | 00:15:10,250 | 00:15:12,709 | Name tags. Name tags, anyone? | Name tags. Name tags, anyone? |
259 | 00:15:12,792 | 00:15:15,041 | TAKASHI: Right there. Right there, a picture. | TAKASHI: Right there. Right there, a picture. |
260 | 00:15:15,125 | 00:15:16,417 | -Excuse me. -(camera clicks) | -Excuse me. -(camera clicks) |
261 | 00:15:16,500 | 00:15:18,917 | Would you like a "Hello. My name is" tag? | Would you like a "Hello. My name is" tag? |
262 | 00:15:19,000 | 00:15:21,083 | How nerdy can you get? | How nerdy can you get? |
263 | 00:15:21,166 | 00:15:24,750 | Lois, what on earth are all these nerds doing here? | Lois, what on earth are all these nerds doing here? |
264 | 00:15:24,834 | 00:15:26,917 | They're Booger's friends. | They're Booger's friends. |
265 | 00:15:27,000 | 00:15:30,417 | (scoffs) Well, Aaron and Tippy must just be sick. | (scoffs) Well, Aaron and Tippy must just be sick. |
266 | 00:15:30,500 | 00:15:32,834 | Oh, Tippy seems okay, but it's killing my brother. | Oh, Tippy seems okay, but it's killing my brother. |
267 | 00:15:35,500 | 00:15:37,583 | Daddy. | Daddy. |
268 | 00:15:37,667 | 00:15:39,500 | Hi. Lewis Skolnick, best man. | Hi. Lewis Skolnick, best man. |
269 | 00:15:41,166 | 00:15:44,709 | -Figures. -Booger is just crazy about your daughter. | -Figures. -Booger is just crazy about your daughter. |
270 | 00:15:44,792 | 00:15:47,792 | He's gonna make a wonderful husband, and that's all that really matters. | He's gonna make a wonderful husband, and that's all that really matters. |
271 | 00:15:47,875 | 00:15:49,917 | -Right. -Y'know, once you get to know Booger, | -Right. -Y'know, once you get to know Booger, |
272 | 00:15:50,000 | 00:15:52,583 | -you'll be very happy with what you see. -(slurping) | -you'll be very happy with what you see. -(slurping) |
273 | 00:15:52,667 | 00:15:55,625 | I'll be very happy when I get away from you. | I'll be very happy when I get away from you. |
274 | 00:15:55,709 | 00:15:58,792 | (guffawing) | (guffawing) |
275 | 00:15:58,875 | 00:16:01,417 | MAN: Aaron, my dear man, I'm so sorry. | MAN: Aaron, my dear man, I'm so sorry. |
276 | 00:16:01,500 | 00:16:04,792 | (chattering continues) | (chattering continues) |
277 | 00:16:04,875 | 00:16:06,834 | You know, Booger, | You know, Booger, |
278 | 00:16:06,917 | 00:16:09,500 | I do sense a bit of friction with your future father-in-law. | I do sense a bit of friction with your future father-in-law. |
279 | 00:16:09,583 | 00:16:11,583 | -Friction? -Mm-hmm. | -Friction? -Mm-hmm. |
280 | 00:16:11,667 | 00:16:13,417 | He hates my guts. | He hates my guts. |
281 | 00:16:15,333 | 00:16:16,333 | Say hi to Stan. | Say hi to Stan. |
282 | 00:16:16,417 | 00:16:18,250 | -(radio clicks) -Stan, this is Lewis. Come in. | -(radio clicks) -Stan, this is Lewis. Come in. |
283 | 00:16:18,333 | 00:16:20,667 | I read you. I read you, Lewis. Over. | I read you. I read you, Lewis. Over. |
284 | 00:16:20,750 | 00:16:23,917 | Yeah, I just wanted to see how you're feeling, man. | Yeah, I just wanted to see how you're feeling, man. |
285 | 00:16:24,000 | 00:16:27,166 | Oh, pretty good. Just such a bummer I got the chicken pox. | Oh, pretty good. Just such a bummer I got the chicken pox. |
286 | 00:16:27,250 | 00:16:30,792 | Y'know, I guess I was just too cool to get them as a kid. (laughs) | Y'know, I guess I was just too cool to get them as a kid. (laughs) |
287 | 00:16:30,875 | 00:16:34,166 | Well, you know, sometimes we just have to play the cards we're dealt with. | Well, you know, sometimes we just have to play the cards we're dealt with. |
288 | 00:16:34,250 | 00:16:38,500 | Yeah. You're always so perceptive, Lewis. I wish I could be like you. | Yeah. You're always so perceptive, Lewis. I wish I could be like you. |
289 | 00:16:38,583 | 00:16:40,542 | Give it time, Stan. Over and out. | Give it time, Stan. Over and out. |
290 | 00:16:43,750 | 00:16:44,583 | (slurping) | (slurping) |
291 | 00:16:44,667 | 00:16:48,166 | Excuse me, Mr. Lewis, Mr. Booger. | Excuse me, Mr. Lewis, Mr. Booger. |
292 | 00:16:48,250 | 00:16:50,875 | Why is that buttocks squished up against the window | Why is that buttocks squished up against the window |
293 | 00:16:50,959 | 00:16:53,166 | -like a pressed Devonshire ham? -(screams) | -like a pressed Devonshire ham? -(screams) |
294 | 00:16:53,250 | 00:16:54,250 | Ogre! | Ogre! |
295 | 00:16:57,583 | 00:17:00,208 | -Lewey! -Ogre! How are you? | -Lewey! -Ogre! How are you? |
296 | 00:17:00,291 | 00:17:02,375 | -How you doing? See it? -Yeah, I saw it. | -How you doing? See it? -Yeah, I saw it. |
297 | 00:17:02,458 | 00:17:04,625 | -That's Ogre. -Oh. | -That's Ogre. -Oh. |
298 | 00:17:04,709 | 00:17:08,333 | -Ogre! Ahhh...! -Little buddy! How you doing? | -Ogre! Ahhh...! -Little buddy! How you doing? |
299 | 00:17:08,417 | 00:17:11,166 | (chanting) | (chanting) |
300 | 00:17:11,250 | 00:17:15,667 | Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! | Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! |
301 | 00:17:15,750 | 00:17:18,333 | This is the worst party we've ever been to. Good night. | This is the worst party we've ever been to. Good night. |
302 | 00:17:18,417 | 00:17:21,917 | This was unbelievable. Thank God my daughter's a lesbian. | This was unbelievable. Thank God my daughter's a lesbian. |
303 | 00:17:23,500 | 00:17:26,083 | -Ogre! Ogre! -Hey, did you see my buns? | -Ogre! Ogre! -Hey, did you see my buns? |
304 | 00:17:26,166 | 00:17:29,166 | -Uh-oh. -What? Who is it? | -Uh-oh. -What? Who is it? |
305 | 00:17:30,500 | 00:17:33,208 | -Mylan Whitfield. -Huh? | -Mylan Whitfield. -Huh? |
306 | 00:17:33,291 | 00:17:35,291 | The chairman of the Republican party. | The chairman of the Republican party. |
307 | 00:17:39,792 | 00:17:42,208 | Nice of you to come, Mylan. Could I get you a drink? | Nice of you to come, Mylan. Could I get you a drink? |
308 | 00:17:42,291 | 00:17:44,875 | The strongest one you've got. | The strongest one you've got. |
309 | 00:17:44,959 | 00:17:48,625 | (belching) | (belching) |
310 | 00:17:51,125 | 00:17:54,125 | (belching continues) | (belching continues) |
311 | 00:17:58,458 | 00:18:02,083 | -I think this is a record. -(continues belching) | -I think this is a record. -(continues belching) |
312 | 00:18:02,166 | 00:18:04,625 | -(all laughing) -OGRE: Still the world's champ. | -(all laughing) -OGRE: Still the world's champ. |
313 | 00:18:06,166 | 00:18:08,583 | -I drink to that. -Heyyy... | -I drink to that. -Heyyy... |
314 | 00:18:08,667 | 00:18:11,792 | Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. | Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. |
315 | 00:18:11,875 | 00:18:14,417 | That's your future son-in-law. | That's your future son-in-law. |
316 | 00:18:14,500 | 00:18:17,667 | And now a very special treat. | And now a very special treat. |
317 | 00:18:19,333 | 00:18:24,083 | -My fiancée's turn. -Oh. | -My fiancée's turn. -Oh. |
318 | 00:18:24,166 | 00:18:28,417 | Oh, no, Jeanie, please. Don't, don't, don't do it, please. Please, don't, please. | Oh, no, Jeanie, please. Don't, don't, don't do it, please. Please, don't, please. |
319 | 00:18:28,500 | 00:18:30,709 | Okay. Okay. | Okay. Okay. |
320 | 00:18:32,792 | 00:18:34,542 | Don't do it, please. Don't do it. | Don't do it, please. Don't do it. |
321 | 00:18:34,625 | 00:18:37,667 | (gulps, belches) | (gulps, belches) |
322 | 00:18:43,959 | 00:18:48,083 | -She's doing a good job. -(mumbling, belches) | -She's doing a good job. -(mumbling, belches) |
323 | 00:18:48,166 | 00:18:50,417 | Booger must be so proud. | Booger must be so proud. |
324 | 00:18:50,500 | 00:18:53,125 | -(belching) -(applause) | -(belching) -(applause) |
325 | 00:18:53,208 | 00:18:55,000 | Wow! Can you believe it? | Wow! Can you believe it? |
326 | 00:18:58,000 | 00:19:01,417 | -Whoo! -She's got the croup. | -Whoo! -She's got the croup. |
327 | 00:19:03,208 | 00:19:07,250 | My Jeanie, she can belch with the best of them. | My Jeanie, she can belch with the best of them. |
328 | 00:19:10,709 | 00:19:12,333 | Hey, your sorority sisters are here. | Hey, your sorority sisters are here. |
329 | 00:19:12,417 | 00:19:14,458 | OGRE: It's the Omega Mu's. | OGRE: It's the Omega Mu's. |
330 | 00:19:14,542 | 00:19:17,709 | (all mooing) | (all mooing) |
331 | 00:19:22,500 | 00:19:25,083 | They're all voters, Mylan. | They're all voters, Mylan. |
332 | 00:19:25,166 | 00:19:27,625 | Booger! Booger! Booger! | Booger! Booger! Booger! |
333 | 00:19:27,709 | 00:19:30,667 | Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. | Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. |
334 | 00:19:30,750 | 00:19:31,667 | (mic feedback) | (mic feedback) |
335 | 00:19:31,750 | 00:19:34,208 | Why are they always chanting? | Why are they always chanting? |
336 | 00:19:35,083 | 00:19:39,333 | You see, the younger generation today, they--they-- | You see, the younger generation today, they--they-- |
337 | 00:19:39,417 | 00:19:41,709 | I think it's kind of fun. | I think it's kind of fun. |
338 | 00:19:41,792 | 00:19:43,250 | You're wearing two different socks. | You're wearing two different socks. |
339 | 00:19:45,208 | 00:19:47,834 | BOOGER: Well, (clears throat) I wanna welcome you all to the wedding | BOOGER: Well, (clears throat) I wanna welcome you all to the wedding |
340 | 00:19:47,917 | 00:19:50,000 | that none of us ever thought would happen. | that none of us ever thought would happen. |
341 | 00:19:50,083 | 00:19:54,125 | -(all cheering) -I guess hell must have frozen over after all. | -(all cheering) -I guess hell must have frozen over after all. |
342 | 00:19:54,208 | 00:19:56,709 | (all laughing) | (all laughing) |
343 | 00:19:56,792 | 00:19:58,250 | Come on now. | Come on now. |
344 | 00:20:00,041 | 00:20:02,166 | -♪♪ (rim shot) -Boom! | -♪♪ (rim shot) -Boom! |
345 | 00:20:02,250 | 00:20:05,959 | But, Jeanie, you don't know about this, | But, Jeanie, you don't know about this, |
346 | 00:20:06,041 | 00:20:09,542 | but I'm going to sing a little song for you. | but I'm going to sing a little song for you. |
347 | 00:20:09,625 | 00:20:14,458 | It's something that I think of whenever I think of you. | It's something that I think of whenever I think of you. |
348 | 00:20:14,959 | 00:20:17,000 | -WOMAN: Awww. -WOMAN #2: So romantic. | -WOMAN: Awww. -WOMAN #2: So romantic. |
349 | 00:20:20,458 | 00:20:21,959 | MAN: Nice spot light. | MAN: Nice spot light. |
350 | 00:20:23,792 | 00:20:26,291 | ♪♪ (keyboard) | ♪♪ (keyboard) |
351 | 00:20:28,458 | 00:20:32,500 | ♪ Jean, Jean ♪ | ♪ Jean, Jean ♪ |
352 | 00:20:32,583 | 00:20:35,291 | ♪ Roses are red ♪ | ♪ Roses are red ♪ |
353 | 00:20:37,625 | 00:20:40,333 | ♪ And all the leaves ♪ | ♪ And all the leaves ♪ |
354 | 00:20:40,417 | 00:20:42,625 | ♪ Have gone green ♪ | ♪ Have gone green ♪ |
355 | 00:20:44,583 | 00:20:48,875 | ♪ And the clouds are so low ♪ | ♪ And the clouds are so low ♪ |
356 | 00:20:48,959 | 00:20:52,500 | ♪ You can touch them and so ♪ | ♪ You can touch them and so ♪ |
357 | 00:20:54,500 | 00:20:57,792 | ♪ Come on out to the meadow ♪ | ♪ Come on out to the meadow ♪ |
358 | 00:20:57,875 | 00:21:00,500 | ♪ Jean ♪ | ♪ Jean ♪ |
359 | 00:21:02,500 | 00:21:06,083 | ♪ Jean, Jean ♪ | ♪ Jean, Jean ♪ |
360 | 00:21:06,166 | 00:21:10,375 | ♪ You're young and alive ♪ | ♪ You're young and alive ♪ |
361 | 00:21:12,500 | 00:21:17,041 | ♪ Come out of your half dreamed dream ♪ | ♪ Come out of your half dreamed dream ♪ |
362 | 00:21:17,125 | 00:21:18,625 | Sorry, Aaron. Gotta go. | Sorry, Aaron. Gotta go. |
363 | 00:21:18,709 | 00:21:20,250 | You will come to the bridal shower? | You will come to the bridal shower? |
364 | 00:21:20,333 | 00:21:23,041 | No can do. Important engagement. | No can do. Important engagement. |
365 | 00:21:23,125 | 00:21:26,208 | ♪ If you will to the top of the hill ♪ | ♪ If you will to the top of the hill ♪ |
366 | 00:21:26,291 | 00:21:27,792 | I thought you were gonna do something. | I thought you were gonna do something. |
367 | 00:21:27,875 | 00:21:28,834 | I'm working on it. | I'm working on it. |
368 | 00:21:28,917 | 00:21:30,917 | I'm gonna start first thing in the morning. | I'm gonna start first thing in the morning. |
369 | 00:21:31,000 | 00:21:32,625 | Start now, doofus. | Start now, doofus. |
370 | 00:21:32,709 | 00:21:36,583 | ♪ Bonnie Jean ♪♪ | ♪ Bonnie Jean ♪♪ |
371 | 00:21:36,667 | 00:21:38,208 | Oh. | Oh. |
372 | 00:21:39,375 | 00:21:41,792 | ♪♪ (piano ends) | ♪♪ (piano ends) |
373 | 00:21:41,875 | 00:21:44,291 | (applause) | (applause) |
374 | 00:21:44,375 | 00:21:46,458 | For those of you in the audience here | For those of you in the audience here |
375 | 00:21:46,542 | 00:21:50,125 | who are blues aficionados, we have a little, uh-- | who are blues aficionados, we have a little, uh-- |
376 | 00:21:50,208 | 00:21:53,125 | It's a little bit dissonant, but I think you'll like it, | It's a little bit dissonant, but I think you'll like it, |
377 | 00:21:53,208 | 00:21:55,917 | 'cause with the fluteophones, it's kind of special. | 'cause with the fluteophones, it's kind of special. |
378 | 00:21:56,000 | 00:21:57,709 | Flutes up. | Flutes up. |
379 | 00:21:59,000 | 00:22:03,125 | A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three. | A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three. |
380 | 00:22:03,208 | 00:22:05,583 | -WOMAN: Even I can't take this. Good night. -♪♪ (playing of key) | -WOMAN: Even I can't take this. Good night. -♪♪ (playing of key) |
381 | 00:22:12,375 | 00:22:16,333 | ♪ Many were the wild notes her merry voice would pour ♪ | ♪ Many were the wild notes her merry voice would pour ♪ |
382 | 00:22:16,417 | 00:22:22,125 | ♪ Many were the blackbirds that wobbled them all ♪ | ♪ Many were the blackbirds that wobbled them all ♪ |
383 | 00:22:22,208 | 00:22:28,208 | TREVOR: ♪ Oh, I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair ♪ | TREVOR: ♪ Oh, I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair ♪ |
384 | 00:22:28,291 | 00:22:32,166 | MAN: ♪ Yo, sexy boy just think of me ♪ | MAN: ♪ Yo, sexy boy just think of me ♪ |
385 | 00:22:32,250 | 00:22:35,208 | ♪ As your love toy Come wind me up ♪ | ♪ As your love toy Come wind me up ♪ |
386 | 00:22:35,291 | 00:22:39,083 | ♪♪ (continues, indistinct) | ♪♪ (continues, indistinct) |
387 | 00:22:41,542 | 00:22:43,458 | JEANIE (laughing): Hi guys! | JEANIE (laughing): Hi guys! |
388 | 00:22:43,542 | 00:22:46,125 | -LEWIS: Hey! -BOOGER: (laughing) | -LEWIS: Hey! -BOOGER: (laughing) |
389 | 00:22:46,208 | 00:22:48,291 | -Hey, can I cut in? -Sure thing. | -Hey, can I cut in? -Sure thing. |
390 | 00:22:50,583 | 00:22:52,583 | BOOGER: If I may. | BOOGER: If I may. |
391 | 00:22:53,583 | 00:22:58,166 | Betty, pregnant women have always made me boggy. | Betty, pregnant women have always made me boggy. |
392 | 00:22:58,250 | 00:23:02,041 | Oh, Booger. You're just incorrigible. | Oh, Booger. You're just incorrigible. |
393 | 00:23:02,125 | 00:23:04,375 | -I try to be. -(laughing) | -I try to be. -(laughing) |
394 | 00:23:04,458 | 00:23:06,250 | Excuse me. | Excuse me. |
395 | 00:23:06,333 | 00:23:10,500 | I just want you to know that I'm really happy for you. | I just want you to know that I'm really happy for you. |
396 | 00:23:10,583 | 00:23:13,375 | Booger lets you be yourself, | Booger lets you be yourself, |
397 | 00:23:13,458 | 00:23:17,083 | and I really like what I see. | and I really like what I see. |
398 | 00:23:17,291 | 00:23:21,041 | I can't believe this is coming out of the mouth of my perfect sister. | I can't believe this is coming out of the mouth of my perfect sister. |
399 | 00:23:21,125 | 00:23:25,166 | Who knows? Maybe this wedding has really brought us together. | Who knows? Maybe this wedding has really brought us together. |
400 | 00:23:27,750 | 00:23:29,208 | I love you, Jeanie. | I love you, Jeanie. |
401 | 00:23:29,291 | 00:23:31,375 | I love you, Gaylord. | I love you, Gaylord. |
402 | 00:23:31,458 | 00:23:34,792 | -(sobbing) -Oh! | -(sobbing) -Oh! |
403 | 00:23:37,792 | 00:23:39,709 | Oh, girls. | Oh, girls. |
404 | 00:23:41,542 | 00:23:44,709 | Once you go nerd, you'll never go back. | Once you go nerd, you'll never go back. |
405 | 00:23:44,792 | 00:23:47,625 | (all laughing) | (all laughing) |
406 | 00:23:48,500 | 00:23:51,500 | I would just die for your cheekbones. | I would just die for your cheekbones. |
407 | 00:23:52,166 | 00:23:53,625 | Oh. | Oh. |
408 | 00:23:58,834 | 00:24:01,000 | Hey, handsome. | Hey, handsome. |
409 | 00:24:03,291 | 00:24:04,667 | Wanna dance? | Wanna dance? |
410 | 00:24:05,458 | 00:24:07,291 | (exhales) Sure. | (exhales) Sure. |
411 | 00:24:17,000 | 00:24:20,000 | BOOGER: Good show, Harold. | BOOGER: Good show, Harold. |
412 | 00:24:23,208 | 00:24:25,834 | MAN: ♪ I wanna be your sexy boy ♪ | MAN: ♪ I wanna be your sexy boy ♪ |
413 | 00:24:25,917 | 00:24:29,667 | ♪ Just think of me as your love toy ♪ | ♪ Just think of me as your love toy ♪ |
414 | 00:24:29,750 | 00:24:32,959 | ♪ Come wind me up Don't need no keys ♪ | ♪ Come wind me up Don't need no keys ♪ |
415 | 00:24:33,041 | 00:24:34,917 | ♪ Just pull the strings ♪ | ♪ Just pull the strings ♪ |
416 | 00:24:35,000 | 00:24:37,792 | What a prenuptial party. | What a prenuptial party. |
417 | 00:24:37,875 | 00:24:41,834 | Really, so enjoyable. Just tremendous. (whistles) | Really, so enjoyable. Just tremendous. (whistles) |
418 | 00:24:41,917 | 00:24:45,792 | ♪ I'll bring you joy I'll make you dance ♪ | ♪ I'll bring you joy I'll make you dance ♪ |
419 | 00:24:45,875 | 00:24:47,792 | ♪ I'll make you shake this sexy boy ♪ | ♪ I'll make you shake this sexy boy ♪ |
420 | 00:24:47,875 | 00:24:51,291 | TIPPY: Jeanie and her friends are having a good time. | TIPPY: Jeanie and her friends are having a good time. |
421 | 00:24:51,375 | 00:24:54,125 | Everybody who's important is gone. | Everybody who's important is gone. |
422 | 00:24:54,208 | 00:24:57,792 | What an embarrassment. No, no, no, look. Your sister's still here. | What an embarrassment. No, no, no, look. Your sister's still here. |
423 | 00:24:57,875 | 00:25:01,125 | ♪♪ (continues, indistinct) | ♪♪ (continues, indistinct) |
424 | 00:25:01,208 | 00:25:04,542 | My sister stays to the end of supermarket openings. | My sister stays to the end of supermarket openings. |
425 | 00:25:04,625 | 00:25:06,959 | BOOGER: Hey, Takashi, whatever happened to Gilbert? | BOOGER: Hey, Takashi, whatever happened to Gilbert? |
426 | 00:25:07,041 | 00:25:08,333 | Mrs. Humphrey, | Mrs. Humphrey, |
427 | 00:25:08,417 | 00:25:09,959 | -Yes? -Can I have this dance? | -Yes? -Can I have this dance? |
428 | 00:25:10,041 | 00:25:12,959 | -Oh, I don't think I could. -I think you could. | -Oh, I don't think I could. -I think you could. |
429 | 00:25:13,041 | 00:25:15,750 | (laughs) There's a little nerd in everyone. | (laughs) There's a little nerd in everyone. |
430 | 00:25:17,417 | 00:25:19,542 | There's no nerd in me, pal. | There's no nerd in me, pal. |
431 | 00:25:19,625 | 00:25:23,500 | ♪ I wanna be your sexy boy ♪ | ♪ I wanna be your sexy boy ♪ |
432 | 00:25:23,583 | 00:25:27,875 | ♪ Believe me I'm the real McCoy ♪ | ♪ Believe me I'm the real McCoy ♪ |
433 | 00:25:27,959 | 00:25:30,458 | -♪♪ (continues, indistinct) -(belches) | -♪♪ (continues, indistinct) -(belches) |
434 | 00:25:30,542 | 00:25:33,375 | Yo! Mama-san! | Yo! Mama-san! |
435 | 00:25:35,250 | 00:25:38,709 | -(kiaiing) -Lois, wait! | -(kiaiing) -Lois, wait! |
436 | 00:25:39,750 | 00:25:41,500 | (shuddering) | (shuddering) |
437 | 00:25:41,583 | 00:25:46,917 | ♪ I wanna be I wanna be your sexy boy ♪ | ♪ I wanna be I wanna be your sexy boy ♪ |
438 | 00:25:47,000 | 00:25:49,458 | ♪ Your sexy boy ♪ | ♪ Your sexy boy ♪ |
439 | 00:25:54,625 | 00:25:56,709 | ♪ Turn out the lights ♪ | ♪ Turn out the lights ♪ |
440 | 00:25:56,792 | 00:25:58,750 | TIPPY: Hey, you nerds really know how to party. | TIPPY: Hey, you nerds really know how to party. |
441 | 00:25:58,834 | 00:26:01,333 | (Lewis guffaws) | (Lewis guffaws) |
442 | 00:26:01,417 | 00:26:03,333 | BOOGER: I'm just getting started, baby. | BOOGER: I'm just getting started, baby. |
443 | 00:26:03,417 | 00:26:06,667 | Romeo, have you seen Chip? | Romeo, have you seen Chip? |
444 | 00:26:06,750 | 00:26:10,834 | Oh, sure, that's exactly what I have on my mind, worrying about where Chip is. | Oh, sure, that's exactly what I have on my mind, worrying about where Chip is. |
445 | 00:26:10,917 | 00:26:14,542 | Oh, gee, where could Chip be? Here, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip. | Oh, gee, where could Chip be? Here, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip. |
446 | 00:26:14,625 | 00:26:17,250 | Here, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip. | Here, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip. |
447 | 00:26:17,333 | 00:26:19,792 | How would you like to lose about 12 teeth? | How would you like to lose about 12 teeth? |
448 | 00:26:20,834 | 00:26:22,792 | Bitch. | Bitch. |
449 | 00:26:29,625 | 00:26:32,083 | CHIP: I'm looking for dirt, scandal, | CHIP: I'm looking for dirt, scandal, |
450 | 00:26:32,166 | 00:26:34,291 | some deviant behavior, | some deviant behavior, |
451 | 00:26:34,375 | 00:26:37,792 | a skeleton in a closet that would be so horrible, | a skeleton in a closet that would be so horrible, |
452 | 00:26:37,875 | 00:26:40,083 | it would break up a wedding. | it would break up a wedding. |
453 | 00:26:40,166 | 00:26:42,208 | And money's no object. | And money's no object. |
454 | 00:26:42,291 | 00:26:44,583 | -(chair squeaks) -How did you find me? | -(chair squeaks) -How did you find me? |
455 | 00:26:44,667 | 00:26:46,417 | Let's just say through a friend. | Let's just say through a friend. |
456 | 00:26:46,500 | 00:26:48,583 | And why do you wanna ruin the wedding? | And why do you wanna ruin the wedding? |
457 | 00:26:48,667 | 00:26:51,417 | Well, my father-in-law's thinking of getting into politics, | Well, my father-in-law's thinking of getting into politics, |
458 | 00:26:51,500 | 00:26:53,542 | and the groom would ruin his chances. | and the groom would ruin his chances. |
459 | 00:26:53,625 | 00:26:56,041 | And if the father-in-law doesn't enter the political arena, | And if the father-in-law doesn't enter the political arena, |
460 | 00:26:56,125 | 00:26:58,250 | you don't take over the family business. | you don't take over the family business. |
461 | 00:26:58,333 | 00:27:03,000 | Yes. Well, I suppose that would happen, but that's not my major concern. | Yes. Well, I suppose that would happen, but that's not my major concern. |
462 | 00:27:04,166 | 00:27:08,291 | -It's nerds, isn't it? -How did you know that? | -It's nerds, isn't it? -How did you know that? |
463 | 00:27:08,375 | 00:27:11,583 | -I'm a detective. -Wow. | -I'm a detective. -Wow. |
464 | 00:27:11,667 | 00:27:15,125 | I had a case with nerds a couple months ago. | I had a case with nerds a couple months ago. |
465 | 00:27:15,208 | 00:27:18,625 | -They can be very slippery. -(chair squeaks) | -They can be very slippery. -(chair squeaks) |
466 | 00:27:18,709 | 00:27:20,458 | How do I know you're any good? | How do I know you're any good? |
467 | 00:27:20,542 | 00:27:22,792 | (sighs) You know the dirt on the royal family? | (sighs) You know the dirt on the royal family? |
468 | 00:27:22,875 | 00:27:24,375 | You? | You? |
469 | 00:27:25,583 | 00:27:27,792 | (laughs) Well, let's do business. | (laughs) Well, let's do business. |
470 | 00:27:27,875 | 00:27:29,542 | -(chair squeaks) -All right. | -(chair squeaks) -All right. |
471 | 00:27:33,750 | 00:27:36,333 | -What's the groom's name? -Uh, Dudley Dawson. | -What's the groom's name? -Uh, Dudley Dawson. |
472 | 00:27:36,417 | 00:27:38,709 | But his friends call him "Booger." | But his friends call him "Booger." |
473 | 00:27:40,250 | 00:27:43,250 | -Well, that's the first thing in our favor. -What-what's that? | -Well, that's the first thing in our favor. -What-what's that? |
474 | 00:27:43,333 | 00:27:48,417 | With a name like Booger, it shouldn't be too hard to get dirt on him. Right? | With a name like Booger, it shouldn't be too hard to get dirt on him. Right? |
475 | 00:27:49,750 | 00:27:51,542 | TREVOR: Good night, Mr. Ogre. | TREVOR: Good night, Mr. Ogre. |
476 | 00:27:53,750 | 00:27:55,709 | OGRE: Good night, Trevor. | OGRE: Good night, Trevor. |
477 | 00:27:55,792 | 00:27:57,959 | TAKASHI: Good night, Lamar. | TAKASHI: Good night, Lamar. |
478 | 00:27:58,041 | 00:28:00,333 | -STAN: Good night, Judy. -JUDY: Good night, Stan. | -STAN: Good night, Judy. -JUDY: Good night, Stan. |
479 | 00:28:00,417 | 00:28:02,542 | LAMAR: Good night, Takashi. | LAMAR: Good night, Takashi. |
480 | 00:28:04,458 | 00:28:05,834 | (toenail clangs in can) | (toenail clangs in can) |
481 | 00:28:05,917 | 00:28:08,333 | -Betty. -Hmm? | -Betty. -Hmm? |
482 | 00:28:08,417 | 00:28:11,333 | Why can't we videotape the birth? | Why can't we videotape the birth? |
483 | 00:28:11,417 | 00:28:14,667 | I just don't want the whole world to see my privates. | I just don't want the whole world to see my privates. |
484 | 00:28:14,750 | 00:28:17,166 | But I've already bought a high-definition, | But I've already bought a high-definition, |
485 | 00:28:17,250 | 00:28:19,542 | Dolby stereo, 3-D helmet cam. | Dolby stereo, 3-D helmet cam. |
486 | 00:28:21,208 | 00:28:23,834 | You know you'll show the video to someone. | You know you'll show the video to someone. |
487 | 00:28:23,917 | 00:28:27,333 | I'm really surprised at you, Betty. | I'm really surprised at you, Betty. |
488 | 00:28:27,417 | 00:28:30,667 | Not having the confidence to think that I wouldn't show the video to someone. | Not having the confidence to think that I wouldn't show the video to someone. |
489 | 00:28:30,750 | 00:28:32,625 | (sighs) | (sighs) |
490 | 00:28:34,959 | 00:28:36,625 | -Maybe I would. -(toenails clanging) | -Maybe I would. -(toenails clanging) |
491 | 00:28:37,959 | 00:28:40,542 | -I probably would. -Hmm. | -I probably would. -Hmm. |
492 | 00:28:40,625 | 00:28:43,875 | I definitely would, but it's only because no one is prouder than I am | I definitely would, but it's only because no one is prouder than I am |
493 | 00:28:43,959 | 00:28:46,542 | of our unborn fetal son. | of our unborn fetal son. |
494 | 00:28:46,625 | 00:28:48,583 | And your privates. (guffaws) | And your privates. (guffaws) |
495 | 00:28:48,667 | 00:28:52,041 | Lewis Tarada Skolnick! | Lewis Tarada Skolnick! |
496 | 00:28:52,125 | 00:28:54,041 | Ow! Betty, I was only kidding. | Ow! Betty, I was only kidding. |
497 | 00:28:54,125 | 00:28:56,667 | -Ow! -Are you all right, honey? | -Ow! -Are you all right, honey? |
498 | 00:28:56,750 | 00:28:59,792 | I'm fine. I just have a little side ache. Ohhh... | I'm fine. I just have a little side ache. Ohhh... |
499 | 00:29:03,291 | 00:29:05,709 | You are so wonderful. | You are so wonderful. |
500 | 00:29:05,792 | 00:29:08,041 | I bet I'm the only woman in America | I bet I'm the only woman in America |
501 | 00:29:08,125 | 00:29:11,709 | to have a certified midwife as a husband. | to have a certified midwife as a husband. |
502 | 00:29:11,792 | 00:29:16,083 | That's because I don't want anybody but me delivering our unborn baby son. | That's because I don't want anybody but me delivering our unborn baby son. |
503 | 00:29:16,166 | 00:29:18,750 | -(giggles) -Hey, Betty. | -(giggles) -Hey, Betty. |
504 | 00:29:18,834 | 00:29:21,583 | -Hmm? -Would you like to have some pickles and ice cream? | -Hmm? -Would you like to have some pickles and ice cream? |
505 | 00:29:21,667 | 00:29:23,458 | Pickles, ice cream. Pickles, ice cream. | Pickles, ice cream. Pickles, ice cream. |
506 | 00:29:23,542 | 00:29:25,750 | I would love some pickles and ice cream. | I would love some pickles and ice cream. |
507 | 00:29:25,834 | 00:29:28,500 | -Oh, yea, Mama. -I'll be right back. | -Oh, yea, Mama. -I'll be right back. |
508 | 00:29:30,834 | 00:29:33,917 | Oh, honey, I don't want you to go now. It's after 3:00. | Oh, honey, I don't want you to go now. It's after 3:00. |
509 | 00:29:34,000 | 00:29:36,792 | If my unborn fetal son and my beloved wife | If my unborn fetal son and my beloved wife |
510 | 00:29:36,875 | 00:29:39,375 | want pickles and ice cream, I don't care what time it is. | want pickles and ice cream, I don't care what time it is. |
511 | 00:29:39,458 | 00:29:41,750 | -(giggles) -Eskimo kiss? | -(giggles) -Eskimo kiss? |
512 | 00:29:41,834 | 00:29:43,917 | -Butterfly. -Eskimo. | -Butterfly. -Eskimo. |
513 | 00:29:44,000 | 00:29:47,166 | -Butterfly. Butterfly. -Eskimo. Eskimo. | -Butterfly. Butterfly. -Eskimo. Eskimo. |
514 | 00:29:50,166 | 00:29:52,750 | I love you, you big nerd. | I love you, you big nerd. |
515 | 00:29:52,834 | 00:29:56,875 | I know you are, but what am I? (guffaws) | I know you are, but what am I? (guffaws) |
516 | 00:29:59,542 | 00:30:02,625 | -Booger. -Hey, Lewis. Where you going? | -Booger. -Hey, Lewis. Where you going? |
517 | 00:30:02,709 | 00:30:05,000 | Oh, I was just gonna take a cruise in the party truck | Oh, I was just gonna take a cruise in the party truck |
518 | 00:30:05,083 | 00:30:06,959 | and get Betty some pickles and ice cream. | and get Betty some pickles and ice cream. |
519 | 00:30:07,041 | 00:30:10,750 | -You're gonna make the best father. -You really think so? | -You're gonna make the best father. -You really think so? |
520 | 00:30:11,709 | 00:30:13,667 | I know so. | I know so. |
521 | 00:30:14,500 | 00:30:15,834 | Hey, you wanna come with? | Hey, you wanna come with? |
522 | 00:30:16,667 | 00:30:18,041 | No. | No. |
523 | 00:30:20,083 | 00:30:22,834 | -Are you feeling all right, Booger? -Lewis... | -Are you feeling all right, Booger? -Lewis... |
524 | 00:30:23,375 | 00:30:25,125 | I'm gonna say something to you | I'm gonna say something to you |
525 | 00:30:25,208 | 00:30:27,542 | that I would never tell anybody else in the world. | that I would never tell anybody else in the world. |
526 | 00:30:32,917 | 00:30:34,834 | I'm a little scared. | I'm a little scared. |
527 | 00:30:34,917 | 00:30:36,917 | Scared? You? | Scared? You? |
528 | 00:30:38,750 | 00:30:40,583 | Well, what are you scared about, Booger? | Well, what are you scared about, Booger? |
529 | 00:30:42,959 | 00:30:46,834 | I've been single a long time, Lewis. | I've been single a long time, Lewis. |
530 | 00:30:46,917 | 00:30:50,250 | I've enjoyed a lot of Mu's. | I've enjoyed a lot of Mu's. |
531 | 00:30:50,875 | 00:30:52,375 | My life has been blessed. | My life has been blessed. |
532 | 00:30:52,458 | 00:30:55,959 | (chuckles) And they've enjoyed you too, pal. (laughs) | (chuckles) And they've enjoyed you too, pal. (laughs) |
533 | 00:30:56,041 | 00:30:58,125 | Now I'm hanging it all up. | Now I'm hanging it all up. |
534 | 00:30:59,375 | 00:31:04,458 | But what happens if I run into a woman who really curdles my blood? | But what happens if I run into a woman who really curdles my blood? |
535 | 00:31:04,542 | 00:31:07,333 | 'Cause you know me, Lewis. You know how it is. | 'Cause you know me, Lewis. You know how it is. |
536 | 00:31:07,417 | 00:31:11,542 | Our eyes meet across a crowded room, and bammo. | Our eyes meet across a crowded room, and bammo. |
537 | 00:31:12,542 | 00:31:15,000 | We're talkin' "nutso" time. | We're talkin' "nutso" time. |
538 | 00:31:15,083 | 00:31:19,041 | Bananas. We're talking out of my brains, | Bananas. We're talking out of my brains, |
539 | 00:31:19,125 | 00:31:22,250 | can't control the faculties, the mind follows the genitals time. | can't control the faculties, the mind follows the genitals time. |
540 | 00:31:22,333 | 00:31:24,375 | Because that's what happens, Lewis, | Because that's what happens, Lewis, |
541 | 00:31:24,458 | 00:31:29,375 | anytime I meet a woman who really makes me wanna take a bath. | anytime I meet a woman who really makes me wanna take a bath. |
542 | 00:31:29,458 | 00:31:33,709 | Well, I have manly urges too, Booger, I mean, like any other red-blooded American male. | Well, I have manly urges too, Booger, I mean, like any other red-blooded American male. |
543 | 00:31:33,792 | 00:31:36,709 | Well, of course you do. How do you handle it? | Well, of course you do. How do you handle it? |
544 | 00:31:36,792 | 00:31:39,250 | I just think of Betty or computers. | I just think of Betty or computers. |
545 | 00:31:39,333 | 00:31:43,000 | No, see, not me. (exhales) | No, see, not me. (exhales) |
546 | 00:31:44,792 | 00:31:49,083 | I'm like a train wreck on the Long Island Railroad. | I'm like a train wreck on the Long Island Railroad. |
547 | 00:31:49,166 | 00:31:54,583 | I may see trouble down the tracks, but this trainman can't pull the switch. | I may see trouble down the tracks, but this trainman can't pull the switch. |
548 | 00:31:54,667 | 00:31:57,083 | Well, nobody likes to party more than I do, Booger. | Well, nobody likes to party more than I do, Booger. |
549 | 00:31:57,166 | 00:31:59,750 | Except for maybe you. | Except for maybe you. |
550 | 00:31:59,834 | 00:32:04,125 | But my life got so much better since I married Betty. And yours is going to too, | But my life got so much better since I married Betty. And yours is going to too, |
551 | 00:32:04,208 | 00:32:06,750 | provided you're ready to compromise | provided you're ready to compromise |
552 | 00:32:06,834 | 00:32:10,083 | and work hard, incredibly hard, on your impending union with Jean. | and work hard, incredibly hard, on your impending union with Jean. |
553 | 00:32:10,166 | 00:32:12,542 | -You have to work really hard, huh? -Uh huh. | -You have to work really hard, huh? -Uh huh. |
554 | 00:32:12,625 | 00:32:14,542 | I mean, it's not any harder than, say, | I mean, it's not any harder than, say, |
555 | 00:32:14,625 | 00:32:16,083 | designing cornering velocities for the Japanese Bullet Train. | designing cornering velocities for the Japanese Bullet Train. |
556 | 00:32:16,166 | 00:32:20,792 | But you should get some sleep. I mean, tomorrow is a huge day for you. | But you should get some sleep. I mean, tomorrow is a huge day for you. |
557 | 00:32:20,875 | 00:32:24,750 | You got the all-you-can-eat nerd bridal shower at the Rump Roast Room at noon. | You got the all-you-can-eat nerd bridal shower at the Rump Roast Room at noon. |
558 | 00:32:24,834 | 00:32:28,875 | And then there's my surprise theme bachelor stag party at night. | And then there's my surprise theme bachelor stag party at night. |
559 | 00:32:28,959 | 00:32:30,875 | You forgot about that, didn't you? | You forgot about that, didn't you? |
560 | 00:32:31,959 | 00:32:33,917 | You're gonna nail me, aren't you? | You're gonna nail me, aren't you? |
561 | 00:32:34,000 | 00:32:37,208 | You're darn tootin'. See ya, Booger. | You're darn tootin'. See ya, Booger. |
562 | 00:32:37,291 | 00:32:40,041 | -Hey, Lewis. -Yeah? | -Hey, Lewis. -Yeah? |
563 | 00:32:41,583 | 00:32:43,041 | Thanks. | Thanks. |
564 | 00:32:45,417 | 00:32:47,250 | I love you, Booger. | I love you, Booger. |
565 | 00:32:48,667 | 00:32:50,542 | I love you too. | I love you too. |
566 | 00:32:57,542 | 00:33:00,583 | ♪♪ | ♪♪ |
567 | 00:33:12,417 | 00:33:14,625 | Bibs, anyone? | Bibs, anyone? |
568 | 00:33:14,709 | 00:33:16,500 | LEWIS: Don't be bashful. It's all you can eat. | LEWIS: Don't be bashful. It's all you can eat. |
569 | 00:33:16,583 | 00:33:20,625 | So, uh, Russia's in, you know, bad shape. | So, uh, Russia's in, you know, bad shape. |
570 | 00:33:20,709 | 00:33:23,709 | Decentralization of the economy and the privatization of industry, | Decentralization of the economy and the privatization of industry, |
571 | 00:33:23,792 | 00:33:26,166 | while, you know, leading to these personal freedoms, | while, you know, leading to these personal freedoms, |
572 | 00:33:26,250 | 00:33:28,500 | it's cost some great hardships. | it's cost some great hardships. |
573 | 00:33:28,583 | 00:33:32,709 | That's why I, Ogre, I think I'm gonna go over there and see if I can help them out. | That's why I, Ogre, I think I'm gonna go over there and see if I can help them out. |
574 | 00:33:32,792 | 00:33:35,083 | You know what I mean? That's no good. | You know what I mean? That's no good. |
575 | 00:33:37,959 | 00:33:40,709 | (laughing) | (laughing) |
576 | 00:33:40,792 | 00:33:42,959 | (gasps) | (gasps) |
577 | 00:33:43,041 | 00:33:46,333 | -What the-- -Say "cheese." | -What the-- -Say "cheese." |
578 | 00:33:46,417 | 00:33:50,250 | -BOTH: Cheese. -TAKASHI: Okay, now stay there, stay there. | -BOTH: Cheese. -TAKASHI: Okay, now stay there, stay there. |
579 | 00:33:52,083 | 00:33:56,291 | -Lewis to Stan, Lewis to Stan. Come in, Stan. -I read you Lewis. Over. | -Lewis to Stan, Lewis to Stan. Come in, Stan. -I read you Lewis. Over. |
580 | 00:33:56,375 | 00:33:59,333 | Uh, listen. This is your 2:00 pox report. How-how you feeling, Stan? | Uh, listen. This is your 2:00 pox report. How-how you feeling, Stan? |
581 | 00:33:59,417 | 00:34:02,291 | Much better now, thanks to Judy. | Much better now, thanks to Judy. |
582 | 00:34:02,375 | 00:34:05,333 | If you don't take care of the pox, they can scab and leave scars. | If you don't take care of the pox, they can scab and leave scars. |
583 | 00:34:05,417 | 00:34:07,875 | -Over and out. -Honey. | -Over and out. -Honey. |
584 | 00:34:07,959 | 00:34:11,208 | -Hmm? -What's Trevor Gulf doing? | -Hmm? -What's Trevor Gulf doing? |
585 | 00:34:11,291 | 00:34:13,875 | I-I think he's mooning us. | I-I think he's mooning us. |
586 | 00:34:13,959 | 00:34:15,834 | That's not a moon. That's the San Joaquin Valley. | That's not a moon. That's the San Joaquin Valley. |
587 | 00:34:15,917 | 00:34:20,041 | -Trevor, no! -Oh, big smile. | -Trevor, no! -Oh, big smile. |
588 | 00:34:20,125 | 00:34:23,917 | Trevor, come on. It isn't nice to moon. | Trevor, come on. It isn't nice to moon. |
589 | 00:34:24,000 | 00:34:27,333 | -Oh, it isn't? -No, it isn't. | -Oh, it isn't? -No, it isn't. |
590 | 00:34:27,417 | 00:34:30,834 | -Mr. Ogre mooned. -Well, you see, Trevor, | -Mr. Ogre mooned. -Well, you see, Trevor, |
591 | 00:34:30,917 | 00:34:33,875 | Mr. Ogre's a converted nerd, okay? | Mr. Ogre's a converted nerd, okay? |
592 | 00:34:33,959 | 00:34:37,875 | He used to be a jock. He's still a little rough around the edges. | He used to be a jock. He's still a little rough around the edges. |
593 | 00:34:37,959 | 00:34:40,458 | Jacques? Is he from France? | Jacques? Is he from France? |
594 | 00:34:42,917 | 00:34:45,375 | (guffaws) | (guffaws) |
595 | 00:34:45,458 | 00:34:49,291 | -My condolences, Aaron. -You gotta take the good with the bad. | -My condolences, Aaron. -You gotta take the good with the bad. |
596 | 00:34:49,375 | 00:34:52,333 | -Sorry, Aaron. -Hey, if it's not one thing, it's another. | -Sorry, Aaron. -Hey, if it's not one thing, it's another. |
597 | 00:34:53,500 | 00:34:55,750 | Mylan, thank you for coming. | Mylan, thank you for coming. |
598 | 00:34:55,834 | 00:34:57,792 | Thank you for sending the limo for me. | Thank you for sending the limo for me. |
599 | 00:34:57,875 | 00:35:00,625 | Thank you for sending the bauble to my secretary. | Thank you for sending the bauble to my secretary. |
600 | 00:35:00,709 | 00:35:03,792 | And the entire party thanks you for sending the check. | And the entire party thanks you for sending the check. |
601 | 00:35:03,875 | 00:35:06,583 | -Just being a good Republican, Mylan. -Hmm, hmm... | -Just being a good Republican, Mylan. -Hmm, hmm... |
602 | 00:35:06,667 | 00:35:08,500 | Come along, dear. | Come along, dear. |
603 | 00:35:09,709 | 00:35:11,792 | Nice seeing you again, Flo. | Nice seeing you again, Flo. |
604 | 00:35:15,333 | 00:35:18,583 | -I've done a little homework on Dudley "Booger" Dawson. -Oh, yeah? | -I've done a little homework on Dudley "Booger" Dawson. -Oh, yeah? |
605 | 00:35:18,667 | 00:35:20,917 | -He's an attorney all right. -Well, that's good. | -He's an attorney all right. -Well, that's good. |
606 | 00:35:21,000 | 00:35:23,041 | A personal injury attorney. | A personal injury attorney. |
607 | 00:35:23,834 | 00:35:25,792 | He's an ambulance chaser? | He's an ambulance chaser? |
608 | 00:35:26,834 | 00:35:28,667 | It just gets worse. | It just gets worse. |
609 | 00:35:29,834 | 00:35:33,166 | -Well, it'll all be over soon. -What are you gonna do? | -Well, it'll all be over soon. -What are you gonna do? |
610 | 00:35:33,250 | 00:35:35,709 | You just get ready for a bombshell. | You just get ready for a bombshell. |
611 | 00:35:39,709 | 00:35:42,291 | Ogre, thanks, man. | Ogre, thanks, man. |
612 | 00:35:42,375 | 00:35:45,417 | That's--That's really thoughtful. | That's--That's really thoughtful. |
613 | 00:35:45,500 | 00:35:47,625 | It was really expensive. (chuckles) | It was really expensive. (chuckles) |
614 | 00:35:47,709 | 00:35:53,041 | So, uh, I guess it's on to Lewis and Betty's present, huh? | So, uh, I guess it's on to Lewis and Betty's present, huh? |
615 | 00:35:59,333 | 00:36:01,625 | -(all gasping) -Oh, wow! | -(all gasping) -Oh, wow! |
616 | 00:36:01,709 | 00:36:05,792 | -WOMAN: Look at that. -A ski exerciser! | -WOMAN: Look at that. -A ski exerciser! |
617 | 00:36:05,875 | 00:36:08,792 | I've been dying for one of these! | I've been dying for one of these! |
618 | 00:36:08,875 | 00:36:12,542 | -Have you? -Boss! | -Have you? -Boss! |
619 | 00:36:12,625 | 00:36:16,125 | They now have anything ever sold on an infomercial. | They now have anything ever sold on an infomercial. |
620 | 00:36:16,208 | 00:36:17,875 | Oh, shut up, Aaron. | Oh, shut up, Aaron. |
621 | 00:36:17,959 | 00:36:21,875 | TAKASHI: Hey, everybody, everybody, Booger's parents are here! | TAKASHI: Hey, everybody, everybody, Booger's parents are here! |
622 | 00:36:21,959 | 00:36:25,208 | Mr. and Mrs. Booger! Mr. and Mrs. Booger! | Mr. and Mrs. Booger! Mr. and Mrs. Booger! |
623 | 00:36:25,291 | 00:36:26,166 | (applause) | (applause) |
624 | 00:36:26,250 | 00:36:29,417 | Mom? Dad! | Mom? Dad! |
625 | 00:36:33,041 | 00:36:35,542 | They look like they just fell off a pickle truck. (laughs) | They look like they just fell off a pickle truck. (laughs) |
626 | 00:36:35,625 | 00:36:36,709 | -Chip! -Ow! | -Chip! -Ow! |
627 | 00:36:36,792 | 00:36:40,667 | Folks, everybody, excuse me. These are my parents. | Folks, everybody, excuse me. These are my parents. |
628 | 00:36:40,750 | 00:36:41,667 | -Oh! -Oh! | -Oh! -Oh! |
629 | 00:36:41,750 | 00:36:43,458 | (shutter clicks) | (shutter clicks) |
630 | 00:36:46,250 | 00:36:49,500 | We're so glad that you're here, Mr. and Mrs. Dawson. | We're so glad that you're here, Mr. and Mrs. Dawson. |
631 | 00:36:49,583 | 00:36:51,667 | (cheering) | (cheering) |
632 | 00:36:53,083 | 00:36:55,917 | I am flabbergasted. | I am flabbergasted. |
633 | 00:36:56,000 | 00:37:00,083 | We would both like to thank all of you from the bottom of our hearts | We would both like to thank all of you from the bottom of our hearts |
634 | 00:37:00,166 | 00:37:03,500 | for this wonderful shower you're throwing us. | for this wonderful shower you're throwing us. |
635 | 00:37:03,583 | 00:37:07,291 | It's probably the first shower he's ever had. (guffaws) | It's probably the first shower he's ever had. (guffaws) |
636 | 00:37:10,834 | 00:37:14,041 | MR. DAWSON: No, he showered regularly. Every other night in the summer, | MR. DAWSON: No, he showered regularly. Every other night in the summer, |
637 | 00:37:14,125 | 00:37:15,959 | and weekly in the winter. | and weekly in the winter. |
638 | 00:37:25,083 | 00:37:29,208 | Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to jump off the dock. | Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to jump off the dock. |
639 | 00:37:29,291 | 00:37:33,583 | -Yeah! -Hold it, everybody. | -Yeah! -Hold it, everybody. |
640 | 00:37:33,667 | 00:37:36,709 | I'd like to offer my toast. | I'd like to offer my toast. |
641 | 00:37:36,792 | 00:37:38,875 | ALL: Yeah. Yeah. | ALL: Yeah. Yeah. |
642 | 00:37:38,959 | 00:37:42,000 | WOMAN: Get the glass. Oh, here, take this. | WOMAN: Get the glass. Oh, here, take this. |
643 | 00:37:43,375 | 00:37:45,041 | To Booger's love child. | To Booger's love child. |
644 | 00:37:49,041 | 00:37:51,166 | Love child? What are - -what are you talking about? | Love child? What are - -what are you talking about? |
645 | 00:37:53,041 | 00:37:55,709 | I'm talking about the daughter you had 12 years ago, | I'm talking about the daughter you had 12 years ago, |
646 | 00:37:55,792 | 00:37:59,583 | out of wedlock, with a young woman in Sandusky, Ohio. | out of wedlock, with a young woman in Sandusky, Ohio. |
647 | 00:37:59,667 | 00:38:02,166 | All right, Booger! Yeah, bud! | All right, Booger! Yeah, bud! |
648 | 00:38:04,542 | 00:38:10,375 | You have a child that my little girl doesn't know about? | You have a child that my little girl doesn't know about? |
649 | 00:38:10,458 | 00:38:13,041 | I am appalled, Booger. Appalled. | I am appalled, Booger. Appalled. |
650 | 00:38:13,125 | 00:38:16,291 | -And so is my wife. Right? See? -But-- | -And so is my wife. Right? See? -But-- |
651 | 00:38:16,375 | 00:38:18,291 | I don't know anything about this. | I don't know anything about this. |
652 | 00:38:18,375 | 00:38:21,125 | I have no child in Sandusky, Ohio. | I have no child in Sandusky, Ohio. |
653 | 00:38:21,208 | 00:38:23,792 | -The hell you don't! -(all gasp) | -The hell you don't! -(all gasp) |
654 | 00:38:23,875 | 00:38:26,583 | This is a fairly specious charge. | This is a fairly specious charge. |
655 | 00:38:26,667 | 00:38:29,166 | Where's your proof, Chip? | Where's your proof, Chip? |
656 | 00:38:29,250 | 00:38:30,959 | Yeah, where's your proof, Chip? | Yeah, where's your proof, Chip? |
657 | 00:38:31,041 | 00:38:32,542 | ALL: Yeah. | ALL: Yeah. |
658 | 00:38:33,750 | 00:38:35,542 | My proof is right here. | My proof is right here. |
659 | 00:38:37,709 | 00:38:41,667 | I'd like you to meet Detective First Class Chad Penrod. | I'd like you to meet Detective First Class Chad Penrod. |
660 | 00:38:41,750 | 00:38:46,250 | Detective Penrod, does Dudley Dawson, alias Booger, | Detective Penrod, does Dudley Dawson, alias Booger, |
661 | 00:38:46,333 | 00:38:51,250 | have or have not a 12-year-old child in Sandusky, Ohio? | have or have not a 12-year-old child in Sandusky, Ohio? |
662 | 00:38:51,333 | 00:38:54,125 | I checked the birth records in Sandusky and found | I checked the birth records in Sandusky and found |
663 | 00:38:54,208 | 00:38:56,667 | that on March 19, 1981, | that on March 19, 1981, |
664 | 00:38:56,750 | 00:38:59,166 | a certain Heidi Dawson | a certain Heidi Dawson |
665 | 00:38:59,250 | 00:39:01,875 | was born to a Miss Cathleen Turtle-- | was born to a Miss Cathleen Turtle-- |
666 | 00:39:01,959 | 00:39:04,959 | Turtletaub and a Mr. Dudley Dawson. | Turtletaub and a Mr. Dudley Dawson. |
667 | 00:39:05,792 | 00:39:08,500 | -Cool. -Wait! | -Cool. -Wait! |
668 | 00:39:08,583 | 00:39:12,000 | If the parents of the alleged love child were never married, | If the parents of the alleged love child were never married, |
669 | 00:39:12,083 | 00:39:16,875 | why isn't the child's name Heidi Turtletaub? | why isn't the child's name Heidi Turtletaub? |
670 | 00:39:16,959 | 00:39:21,291 | Exactly. Why isn't the child's name Heidi Turtletaub? | Exactly. Why isn't the child's name Heidi Turtletaub? |
671 | 00:39:21,375 | 00:39:23,417 | -Yes. -(neck bones crack) | -Yes. -(neck bones crack) |
672 | 00:39:25,750 | 00:39:26,959 | Beats me. | Beats me. |
673 | 00:39:28,000 | 00:39:30,667 | If the child were born to an unmarried mother, | If the child were born to an unmarried mother, |
674 | 00:39:30,750 | 00:39:35,625 | wouldn't the so-said mother have given the aforementioned daughter her last name? | wouldn't the so-said mother have given the aforementioned daughter her last name? |
675 | 00:39:37,208 | 00:39:39,208 | PENROD: Well, I do know this. | PENROD: Well, I do know this. |
676 | 00:39:39,291 | 00:39:42,208 | The child's nickname is Booger. | The child's nickname is Booger. |
677 | 00:39:42,291 | 00:39:44,750 | -(all gasp) -Yeah! | -(all gasp) -Yeah! |
678 | 00:39:45,458 | 00:39:46,875 | I think we should leave, Jeanie. | I think we should leave, Jeanie. |
679 | 00:39:46,959 | 00:39:49,166 | Oh. | Oh. |
680 | 00:39:49,250 | 00:39:52,875 | Do you wanna marry a man who doesn't tell you that he has a child? | Do you wanna marry a man who doesn't tell you that he has a child? |
681 | 00:39:52,959 | 00:39:55,417 | Who knows what he'll lie about next? | Who knows what he'll lie about next? |
682 | 00:39:55,500 | 00:39:58,208 | You saw The Crying Game. | You saw The Crying Game. |
683 | 00:39:58,291 | 00:40:01,083 | How do we know he even is a man? | How do we know he even is a man? |
684 | 00:40:01,166 | 00:40:04,417 | -(gasps) -(all gasping) | -(gasps) -(all gasping) |
685 | 00:40:04,500 | 00:40:07,250 | -LAMAR: Don't you touch me! -Get your hands off me! | -LAMAR: Don't you touch me! -Get your hands off me! |
686 | 00:40:07,333 | 00:40:10,083 | -LAMAR: Don't you touch me! -I caught you red-handed! | -LAMAR: Don't you touch me! -I caught you red-handed! |
687 | 00:40:10,166 | 00:40:12,250 | -LAMAR: Get off of me! -LEWIS: Hey, break it up! | -LAMAR: Get off of me! -LEWIS: Hey, break it up! |
688 | 00:40:12,333 | 00:40:16,041 | -Break it up! -I'm gonna tell everybody! Don't you get me started. | -Break it up! -I'm gonna tell everybody! Don't you get me started. |
689 | 00:40:16,125 | 00:40:18,250 | -I heard-- -Word! | -I heard-- -Word! |
690 | 00:40:18,333 | 00:40:21,333 | I can't believe what got into you two. This is supposed to be a happy occasion. | I can't believe what got into you two. This is supposed to be a happy occasion. |
691 | 00:40:23,458 | 00:40:26,250 | I'm especially surprised at you, Lamar. | I'm especially surprised at you, Lamar. |
692 | 00:40:26,333 | 00:40:28,709 | Now what was going on? | Now what was going on? |
693 | 00:40:28,792 | 00:40:31,542 | Well, Chip was crackin' on Booger's parents. | Well, Chip was crackin' on Booger's parents. |
694 | 00:40:31,625 | 00:40:33,792 | Crackin' on my parents? | Crackin' on my parents? |
695 | 00:40:35,625 | 00:40:37,792 | What kind of cracks, Chip? | What kind of cracks, Chip? |
696 | 00:40:37,875 | 00:40:41,250 | -Booger. -Yeah, what kind? | -Booger. -Yeah, what kind? |
697 | 00:40:41,333 | 00:40:44,917 | -As your best man, I strongly advise you just let it go. -I'm not going to let it go. | -As your best man, I strongly advise you just let it go. -I'm not going to let it go. |
698 | 00:40:45,000 | 00:40:48,083 | On the other hand, I'm prepared to explore other avenues with you as well. | On the other hand, I'm prepared to explore other avenues with you as well. |
699 | 00:40:48,166 | 00:40:51,458 | -What kind of cracks, Chip? -(stammering) | -What kind of cracks, Chip? -(stammering) |
700 | 00:40:51,542 | 00:40:54,959 | Chip said that your mama was so ugly, that the Elephant Man paid to see her. | Chip said that your mama was so ugly, that the Elephant Man paid to see her. |
701 | 00:40:55,041 | 00:40:57,166 | (laughing) | (laughing) |
702 | 00:41:01,375 | 00:41:05,500 | The point is you have a 12-year-old daughter in Sandusky, Ohio! | The point is you have a 12-year-old daughter in Sandusky, Ohio! |
703 | 00:41:05,583 | 00:41:10,625 | This has nothing to do with my having a child in Sandusky, Ohio. | This has nothing to do with my having a child in Sandusky, Ohio. |
704 | 00:41:10,709 | 00:41:12,709 | That isn't what this is about at all. | That isn't what this is about at all. |
705 | 00:41:14,375 | 00:41:17,709 | -This is because I'm a nerd. -(all gasping) | -This is because I'm a nerd. -(all gasping) |
706 | 00:41:19,041 | 00:41:20,834 | And it has been since the beginning. | And it has been since the beginning. |
707 | 00:41:20,917 | 00:41:23,125 | Mm-hmm. | Mm-hmm. |
708 | 00:41:23,208 | 00:41:26,500 | Why else would someone rummage through my private life with a detective? | Why else would someone rummage through my private life with a detective? |
709 | 00:41:26,583 | 00:41:31,458 | And then announce this... detestable fabrication, | And then announce this... detestable fabrication, |
710 | 00:41:31,542 | 00:41:35,166 | this--this tissue of lies | this--this tissue of lies |
711 | 00:41:35,250 | 00:41:38,208 | -on the happiest day of my life? -Oh, Booger. | -on the happiest day of my life? -Oh, Booger. |
712 | 00:41:39,917 | 00:41:42,709 | Hath not a nerd eyes? | Hath not a nerd eyes? |
713 | 00:41:44,417 | 00:41:46,709 | When you prick us, do we not bleed? | When you prick us, do we not bleed? |
714 | 00:41:48,208 | 00:41:51,959 | I am tired of the reckless allegations, | I am tired of the reckless allegations, |
715 | 00:41:52,041 | 00:41:54,208 | the snide snickering, | the snide snickering, |
716 | 00:41:54,291 | 00:41:57,458 | the talking behind backs, the sly innuendos, | the talking behind backs, the sly innuendos, |
717 | 00:41:57,542 | 00:41:59,917 | the looking down on us. | the looking down on us. |
718 | 00:42:03,250 | 00:42:06,458 | We are what we are. | We are what we are. |
719 | 00:42:06,542 | 00:42:08,959 | -Aren't we? -NERDS: We are! | -Aren't we? -NERDS: We are! |
720 | 00:42:09,041 | 00:42:12,500 | -And we're proud of what we are. -NERDS: We are! | -And we're proud of what we are. -NERDS: We are! |
721 | 00:42:12,583 | 00:42:15,875 | And we are not about to allow ourselves | And we are not about to allow ourselves |
722 | 00:42:15,959 | 00:42:18,959 | to be intimidated by a bunch of-- | to be intimidated by a bunch of-- |
723 | 00:42:19,041 | 00:42:22,000 | Booger, don't say it! | Booger, don't say it! |
724 | 00:42:22,083 | 00:42:27,125 | -Say it, Booger! -Nouveau-riche pigs! | -Say it, Booger! -Nouveau-riche pigs! |
725 | 00:42:28,917 | 00:42:30,667 | OGRE: There you go. | OGRE: There you go. |
726 | 00:42:32,250 | 00:42:36,834 | You have... the audacity... | You have... the audacity... |
727 | 00:42:36,917 | 00:42:39,709 | to utter the most... | to utter the most... |
728 | 00:42:39,792 | 00:42:43,125 | morally reprehensible slur to these... | morally reprehensible slur to these... |
729 | 00:42:44,583 | 00:42:47,417 | fine, upstanding, | fine, upstanding, |
730 | 00:42:47,500 | 00:42:49,792 | self-made businesspeople. | self-made businesspeople. |
731 | 00:42:51,834 | 00:42:54,583 | Shame on you, Booger. | Shame on you, Booger. |
732 | 00:42:54,667 | 00:42:56,709 | Shame on all of you nerds. | Shame on all of you nerds. |
733 | 00:42:56,792 | 00:42:58,125 | Ogre, no! | Ogre, no! |
734 | 00:43:08,000 | 00:43:09,709 | -(gasps) -WOMAN: Oh! | -(gasps) -WOMAN: Oh! |
735 | 00:43:09,792 | 00:43:12,041 | The prosecution rests. | The prosecution rests. |
736 | 00:43:12,125 | 00:43:15,000 | I've had it with you nerds! | I've had it with you nerds! |
737 | 00:43:16,667 | 00:43:18,500 | All right, everyone, just cool it! | All right, everyone, just cool it! |
738 | 00:43:22,000 | 00:43:25,208 | -Oh, what the hell. -We've got too much class for this kind of crap. | -Oh, what the hell. -We've got too much class for this kind of crap. |
739 | 00:43:26,333 | 00:43:28,750 | -Booger! -Jeanie! | -Booger! -Jeanie! |
740 | 00:43:28,834 | 00:43:32,375 | -Booger! -TAKASHI: (yells) | -Booger! -TAKASHI: (yells) |
741 | 00:43:33,959 | 00:43:35,458 | Ahhh! | Ahhh! |
742 | 00:43:39,667 | 00:43:41,667 | Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaa! | Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaa! |
743 | 00:43:52,083 | 00:43:54,208 | (woman shrieking) | (woman shrieking) |
744 | 00:44:16,542 | 00:44:19,542 | So you might have a daughter in Sandusky, Ohio, huh? | So you might have a daughter in Sandusky, Ohio, huh? |
745 | 00:44:22,709 | 00:44:25,375 | (sighs) I don't know. | (sighs) I don't know. |
746 | 00:44:26,583 | 00:44:28,500 | It's certainly possible. | It's certainly possible. |
747 | 00:44:30,250 | 00:44:35,250 | God knows my seed is as strong as an Alaskan salmon. | God knows my seed is as strong as an Alaskan salmon. |
748 | 00:44:37,083 | 00:44:39,875 | And I partied pretty hard in the early '80s. | And I partied pretty hard in the early '80s. |
749 | 00:44:41,417 | 00:44:43,208 | In Sandusky? | In Sandusky? |
750 | 00:44:45,083 | 00:44:48,500 | Apart from Akron, I probably spent more time in Sandusky | Apart from Akron, I probably spent more time in Sandusky |
751 | 00:44:48,583 | 00:44:50,583 | than any place on earth. | than any place on earth. |
752 | 00:44:53,250 | 00:44:55,125 | Damn it! | Damn it! |
753 | 00:44:58,417 | 00:45:01,250 | Everything was going so great. Now it's ruined. | Everything was going so great. Now it's ruined. |
754 | 00:45:05,458 | 00:45:07,792 | Ah, Booger. | Ah, Booger. |
755 | 00:45:11,125 | 00:45:13,291 | Your wedding isn't ruined. | Your wedding isn't ruined. |
756 | 00:45:14,834 | 00:45:16,792 | What are you talking about? | What are you talking about? |
757 | 00:45:17,750 | 00:45:21,291 | We just had a food fight. | We just had a food fight. |
758 | 00:45:22,625 | 00:45:26,125 | People don't have... | People don't have... |
759 | 00:45:27,667 | 00:45:31,583 | food fights at their... | food fights at their... |
760 | 00:45:31,667 | 00:45:33,542 | bridal showers! | bridal showers! |
761 | 00:45:33,625 | 00:45:35,583 | But I did. | But I did. |
762 | 00:45:37,000 | 00:45:39,709 | Some nouveau-riche guy, | Some nouveau-riche guy, |
763 | 00:45:39,792 | 00:45:42,417 | looked like he could have been a banker, | looked like he could have been a banker, |
764 | 00:45:42,500 | 00:45:45,542 | is mashing... | is mashing... |
765 | 00:45:45,625 | 00:45:50,458 | handfuls of garni up my nostrils! | handfuls of garni up my nostrils! |
766 | 00:45:52,583 | 00:45:54,667 | (sighs) I know things look bleak. | (sighs) I know things look bleak. |
767 | 00:45:56,000 | 00:45:57,959 | But they've been bleak before. | But they've been bleak before. |
768 | 00:45:58,041 | 00:46:01,083 | Do you remember at Adams College? | Do you remember at Adams College? |
769 | 00:46:01,166 | 00:46:03,291 | We were exiled from the dorms | We were exiled from the dorms |
770 | 00:46:03,375 | 00:46:05,917 | and forced to live in the gymnasium. | and forced to live in the gymnasium. |
771 | 00:46:06,000 | 00:46:08,417 | Do you remember in Fort Lauderdale, | Do you remember in Fort Lauderdale, |
772 | 00:46:08,500 | 00:46:11,917 | when we were persecuted into subjugation and incarcerated? | when we were persecuted into subjugation and incarcerated? |
773 | 00:46:12,000 | 00:46:16,041 | How about when Orrin Price framed me... | How about when Orrin Price framed me... |
774 | 00:46:16,125 | 00:46:18,250 | for embezzling... | for embezzling... |
775 | 00:46:18,333 | 00:46:22,625 | Adams College computer research funds? | Adams College computer research funds? |
776 | 00:46:22,709 | 00:46:27,083 | We may have been subjected to the yoke of nerd oppression before, | We may have been subjected to the yoke of nerd oppression before, |
777 | 00:46:27,166 | 00:46:30,375 | -but we're not gonna be subjected to it again! -(bangs mug) | -but we're not gonna be subjected to it again! -(bangs mug) |
778 | 00:46:31,375 | 00:46:35,250 | This wedding is not over! The son of a gun has just begun! | This wedding is not over! The son of a gun has just begun! |
779 | 00:46:37,667 | 00:46:39,875 | Come on, pal. | Come on, pal. |
780 | 00:46:40,834 | 00:46:43,208 | (crying) | (crying) |
781 | 00:46:44,375 | 00:46:46,375 | (ringing) | (ringing) |
782 | 00:46:51,709 | 00:46:54,917 | BOOGER: Meet me at the Wood Bridge in half an hour. | BOOGER: Meet me at the Wood Bridge in half an hour. |
783 | 00:46:57,875 | 00:46:59,875 | Please? | Please? |
784 | 00:47:02,542 | 00:47:06,250 | - Hello? -(sobs) | - Hello? -(sobs) |
785 | 00:47:06,333 | 00:47:10,500 | I'm sorry. Is this 555-4264? | I'm sorry. Is this 555-4264? |
786 | 00:47:13,000 | 00:47:15,375 | Knock, knock. Is this a private party? | Knock, knock. Is this a private party? |
787 | 00:47:17,291 | 00:47:18,667 | Have a drink, Chip. | Have a drink, Chip. |
788 | 00:47:18,750 | 00:47:21,333 | Thanks, Dad--Aaron. (laughs) | Thanks, Dad--Aaron. (laughs) |
789 | 00:47:21,417 | 00:47:23,834 | (sighs) | (sighs) |
790 | 00:47:23,917 | 00:47:26,583 | I'm taking a lot of flack from this from my wife. | I'm taking a lot of flack from this from my wife. |
791 | 00:47:27,917 | 00:47:30,667 | I thought the, uh, food fight was a nice plus though. | I thought the, uh, food fight was a nice plus though. |
792 | 00:47:30,750 | 00:47:34,291 | This is a career day for you, Chip. | This is a career day for you, Chip. |
793 | 00:47:34,375 | 00:47:39,166 | As a matter of fact, this is the first good thing I could ever remember you doing. | As a matter of fact, this is the first good thing I could ever remember you doing. |
794 | 00:47:39,250 | 00:47:41,542 | Oh, come on. I've done lots of good things. | Oh, come on. I've done lots of good things. |
795 | 00:47:42,291 | 00:47:43,625 | Name one. | Name one. |
796 | 00:47:43,709 | 00:47:47,083 | -Are you serious? -Name one. | -Are you serious? -Name one. |
797 | 00:47:48,917 | 00:47:50,792 | Well, there was, uh-- | Well, there was, uh-- |
798 | 00:47:51,917 | 00:47:55,125 | -Uh-- -You don't do anything and I pay you a fortune. | -Uh-- -You don't do anything and I pay you a fortune. |
799 | 00:47:55,208 | 00:47:56,875 | But look. | But look. |
800 | 00:47:56,959 | 00:47:59,625 | You made up for everything. You're the man | You made up for everything. You're the man |
801 | 00:47:59,959 | 00:48:03,291 | who drove the Booger man out of my daughter's life. | who drove the Booger man out of my daughter's life. |
802 | 00:48:04,792 | 00:48:05,792 | (exhales) | (exhales) |
803 | 00:48:08,083 | 00:48:10,250 | Daddy, I have to talk to you. | Daddy, I have to talk to you. |
804 | 00:48:11,125 | 00:48:12,542 | I'm so confused. | I'm so confused. |
805 | 00:48:14,291 | 00:48:17,333 | First of all, I just wanna thank you for being so concerned about me. | First of all, I just wanna thank you for being so concerned about me. |
806 | 00:48:17,417 | 00:48:19,709 | I know in my heart | I know in my heart |
807 | 00:48:19,792 | 00:48:22,709 | you only want what's best for me, | you only want what's best for me, |
808 | 00:48:22,792 | 00:48:25,083 | no matter what you say or do or how you behave. | no matter what you say or do or how you behave. |
809 | 00:48:25,166 | 00:48:27,458 | JEANIE: (sighs) | JEANIE: (sighs) |
810 | 00:48:28,125 | 00:48:30,959 | I sure do love that Booger though. | I sure do love that Booger though. |
811 | 00:48:31,625 | 00:48:34,583 | I can't believe he's got a kid he never told me about. | I can't believe he's got a kid he never told me about. |
812 | 00:48:38,834 | 00:48:40,917 | (groans) | (groans) |
813 | 00:48:41,000 | 00:48:45,125 | (scoffs) Kids--you gotta love 'em. | (scoffs) Kids--you gotta love 'em. |
814 | 00:48:47,500 | 00:48:48,500 | (exhales) | (exhales) |
815 | 00:48:49,834 | 00:48:53,667 | It, um-- It is true, Chip. | It, um-- It is true, Chip. |
816 | 00:48:54,208 | 00:48:55,375 | Is what true? | Is what true? |
817 | 00:48:57,667 | 00:49:01,583 | That, um, he has a child | That, um, he has a child |
818 | 00:49:01,667 | 00:49:03,792 | with an unwed mother and all that? | with an unwed mother and all that? |
819 | 00:49:03,875 | 00:49:07,417 | Yeah, sure it's true. The detective I hired found it. | Yeah, sure it's true. The detective I hired found it. |
820 | 00:49:07,500 | 00:49:12,083 | Because it, uh-- it wouldn't be good if it wasn't true. | Because it, uh-- it wouldn't be good if it wasn't true. |
821 | 00:49:12,166 | 00:49:17,250 | -It's true. -Then, uh--then it's good. | -It's true. -Then, uh--then it's good. |
822 | 00:49:17,333 | 00:49:21,458 | -'Cause it's true. -Right. If it's true, it's good. | -'Cause it's true. -Right. If it's true, it's good. |
823 | 00:49:21,542 | 00:49:24,291 | And, uh, I feel good about that. (clicks tongue) | And, uh, I feel good about that. (clicks tongue) |
824 | 00:49:24,375 | 00:49:26,166 | Good. | Good. |
825 | 00:49:28,333 | 00:49:31,375 | (birds chirping) | (birds chirping) |
826 | 00:49:46,041 | 00:49:47,750 | (gasps) | (gasps) |
827 | 00:49:47,834 | 00:49:50,208 | -Booger! -Jeanie! | -Booger! -Jeanie! |
828 | 00:49:53,417 | 00:49:56,208 | Let's go to our secret spot so no one will see us. | Let's go to our secret spot so no one will see us. |
829 | 00:49:58,333 | 00:50:02,458 | -I love you, Booger. -Oh, I love you too. | -I love you, Booger. -Oh, I love you too. |
830 | 00:50:02,542 | 00:50:06,625 | But marriage is about trust. No secrets from each other, remember? | But marriage is about trust. No secrets from each other, remember? |
831 | 00:50:06,709 | 00:50:08,750 | I don't have any secrets. | I don't have any secrets. |
832 | 00:50:09,959 | 00:50:12,375 | Well, what about that child in Sandusky, Ohio? | Well, what about that child in Sandusky, Ohio? |
833 | 00:50:12,458 | 00:50:16,083 | I don't have a child in Sandusky, Ohio! | I don't have a child in Sandusky, Ohio! |
834 | 00:50:17,625 | 00:50:20,375 | Well, why would Detective Penrod say that you did? | Well, why would Detective Penrod say that you did? |
835 | 00:50:20,458 | 00:50:22,500 | Well, I don't know! | Well, I don't know! |
836 | 00:50:22,583 | 00:50:25,333 | I don't even know who Detective Penrod is! | I don't even know who Detective Penrod is! |
837 | 00:50:25,417 | 00:50:28,417 | I'm a condemned man and I don't have a child! | I'm a condemned man and I don't have a child! |
838 | 00:50:33,125 | 00:50:34,583 | I believe you, Booger. | I believe you, Booger. |
839 | 00:50:37,250 | 00:50:38,458 | You do? | You do? |
840 | 00:50:38,542 | 00:50:41,500 | Yes, because marriage is about trust. | Yes, because marriage is about trust. |
841 | 00:50:41,583 | 00:50:46,041 | And I trust you... completely. | And I trust you... completely. |
842 | 00:50:46,125 | 00:50:47,583 | BOOGER: (laughs) | BOOGER: (laughs) |
843 | 00:50:49,125 | 00:50:52,709 | All I know is that I love you and I think we should continue the wedding. | All I know is that I love you and I think we should continue the wedding. |
844 | 00:50:52,792 | 00:50:55,750 | Oh, Booger, I-- I don't know what to do. I-- | Oh, Booger, I-- I don't know what to do. I-- |
845 | 00:50:55,834 | 00:51:00,333 | I--I don't know. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore. | I--I don't know. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore. |
846 | 00:51:01,834 | 00:51:03,792 | I, uh-- | I, uh-- |
847 | 00:51:04,625 | 00:51:06,583 | I know it's a day early, but... | I know it's a day early, but... |
848 | 00:51:09,625 | 00:51:11,458 | I'd like you to read my valentine. | I'd like you to read my valentine. |
849 | 00:51:18,792 | 00:51:21,375 | (giggling) | (giggling) |
850 | 00:51:21,458 | 00:51:23,291 | -Open it up. -(laughs) | -Open it up. -(laughs) |
851 | 00:51:24,291 | 00:51:25,792 | A cow. Oh. | A cow. Oh. |
852 | 00:51:30,208 | 00:51:33,291 | "An empty spot was on my heart | "An empty spot was on my heart |
853 | 00:51:33,375 | 00:51:36,583 | until I met you, O Valentine. | until I met you, O Valentine. |
854 | 00:51:36,667 | 00:51:40,125 | Then the spot filled in. My heart was whole. | Then the spot filled in. My heart was whole. |
855 | 00:51:40,208 | 00:51:44,709 | I could love for the first time in my life | I could love for the first time in my life |
856 | 00:51:44,792 | 00:51:47,959 | now that you are going to become | now that you are going to become |
857 | 00:51:51,667 | 00:51:53,625 | my wife." | my wife." |
858 | 00:51:57,834 | 00:52:01,583 | -Ahh, the hell with my dad! -Uh, huh, that's exactly what I'd hoped you'd say. | -Ahh, the hell with my dad! -Uh, huh, that's exactly what I'd hoped you'd say. |
859 | 00:52:01,667 | 00:52:02,625 | (laughing) | (laughing) |
860 | 00:52:02,709 | 00:52:05,417 | (lowing) | (lowing) |
861 | 00:52:05,500 | 00:52:08,125 | -Again. -(laughs) | -Again. -(laughs) |
862 | 00:52:08,208 | 00:52:12,041 | (lowing) | (lowing) |
863 | 00:52:13,709 | 00:52:17,959 | (laughs) Oh, I can't tell you what it does to me to hear you moo again. | (laughs) Oh, I can't tell you what it does to me to hear you moo again. |
864 | 00:52:18,041 | 00:52:21,291 | -(lowing) -(mooing) | -(lowing) -(mooing) |
865 | 00:52:21,375 | 00:52:24,333 | (mooing) | (mooing) |
866 | 00:52:24,417 | 00:52:27,041 | -Oh, ho, ho, Booger! -Jeanie! | -Oh, ho, ho, Booger! -Jeanie! |
867 | 00:52:27,709 | 00:52:31,709 | -(laughs) -(mooing) | -(laughs) -(mooing) |
868 | 00:52:35,875 | 00:52:37,917 | (lawn mower) | (lawn mower) |
869 | 00:52:39,667 | 00:52:42,333 | -It's on! -What's on? | -It's on! -What's on? |
870 | 00:52:42,417 | 00:52:44,959 | The wedding is on again! | The wedding is on again! |
871 | 00:52:45,041 | 00:52:48,917 | First it's on, then it's off. Now it's on again. | First it's on, then it's off. Now it's on again. |
872 | 00:52:49,000 | 00:52:51,166 | I am on an emotional roller coaster. | I am on an emotional roller coaster. |
873 | 00:52:51,250 | 00:52:54,000 | -I am not a yo-yo. -(scoffs) | -I am not a yo-yo. -(scoffs) |
874 | 00:52:54,083 | 00:52:57,125 | -(lawn mower) -(tray slams) | -(lawn mower) -(tray slams) |
875 | 00:53:00,875 | 00:53:04,291 | How can the wedding be on? We all can't even be in the same room together. | How can the wedding be on? We all can't even be in the same room together. |
876 | 00:53:04,375 | 00:53:06,500 | Never in the history of weddings | Never in the history of weddings |
877 | 00:53:06,583 | 00:53:09,458 | has there ever been a clearer case of incompatibility. | has there ever been a clearer case of incompatibility. |
878 | 00:53:09,542 | 00:53:14,291 | Aaron, Jeanie is thrilled. Think about her for once. | Aaron, Jeanie is thrilled. Think about her for once. |
879 | 00:53:14,375 | 00:53:17,667 | I am thinking about her. The man is a liar and a child deserter. | I am thinking about her. The man is a liar and a child deserter. |
880 | 00:53:17,750 | 00:53:20,333 | If she goes through with this wedding, I'm not gonna have anything to do with it! | If she goes through with this wedding, I'm not gonna have anything to do with it! |
881 | 00:53:20,417 | 00:53:22,709 | Zero, nothing, nada, zip! | Zero, nothing, nada, zip! |
882 | 00:53:24,458 | 00:53:25,709 | -(chair ganging) -Ow! | -(chair ganging) -Ow! |
883 | 00:53:25,792 | 00:53:27,375 | (laughing) | (laughing) |
884 | 00:53:27,458 | 00:53:30,959 | Okay, all right. Anybody who feels that Booger could have | Okay, all right. Anybody who feels that Booger could have |
885 | 00:53:31,041 | 00:53:33,834 | an illegitimate child in Sandusky, Ohio, raise your right hands. | an illegitimate child in Sandusky, Ohio, raise your right hands. |
886 | 00:53:38,667 | 00:53:41,000 | (shouts) Opposed? | (shouts) Opposed? |
887 | 00:53:41,083 | 00:53:43,417 | -You don't think it's possible? -No, I do not. | -You don't think it's possible? -No, I do not. |
888 | 00:53:43,500 | 00:53:45,834 | Booger may be Booger, but he always took precautions. | Booger may be Booger, but he always took precautions. |
889 | 00:53:45,917 | 00:53:50,250 | -That is right. He always did wear condoms. -Oh. Condom. | -That is right. He always did wear condoms. -Oh. Condom. |
890 | 00:53:50,333 | 00:53:52,917 | -So he couldn't have a child. -No way. | -So he couldn't have a child. -No way. |
891 | 00:53:53,000 | 00:53:56,709 | (car approaching) | (car approaching) |
892 | 00:53:56,792 | 00:54:00,834 | -Harold, where you going? -LAMAR: I don't know, but I would guess Aunt Lois's. | -Harold, where you going? -LAMAR: I don't know, but I would guess Aunt Lois's. |
893 | 00:54:00,917 | 00:54:03,083 | Are you scoring, Harold? | Are you scoring, Harold? |
894 | 00:54:03,166 | 00:54:06,667 | Well, I certainly wouldn't tell you if I was. | Well, I certainly wouldn't tell you if I was. |
895 | 00:54:06,750 | 00:54:09,917 | But I guarantee ya I ain't going over there for breakfast. | But I guarantee ya I ain't going over there for breakfast. |
896 | 00:54:10,000 | 00:54:12,458 | (all laughing) | (all laughing) |
897 | 00:54:13,458 | 00:54:15,792 | -(tires screeching) -Ya-hoo! | -(tires screeching) -Ya-hoo! |
898 | 00:54:15,875 | 00:54:18,834 | -(horn honking) -(tires squealing) | -(horn honking) -(tires squealing) |
899 | 00:54:20,375 | 00:54:22,959 | -It's on! -BOTH: What's on? | -It's on! -BOTH: What's on? |
900 | 00:54:23,875 | 00:54:25,083 | The wedding! | The wedding! |
901 | 00:54:25,166 | 00:54:28,333 | -(tires screeching) -(horn honking) | -(tires screeching) -(horn honking) |
902 | 00:54:34,333 | 00:54:36,750 | Uh, I-I thought you told me the love child was real. | Uh, I-I thought you told me the love child was real. |
903 | 00:54:36,834 | 00:54:39,709 | I didn't say she was real. I said it was a great idea. | I didn't say she was real. I said it was a great idea. |
904 | 00:54:39,792 | 00:54:44,917 | But it hasn't turned out to be such a great idea, has it? | But it hasn't turned out to be such a great idea, has it? |
905 | 00:54:45,000 | 00:54:49,083 | If Aaron finds out I've lied to him, I'm dead. He's gonna fire me. | If Aaron finds out I've lied to him, I'm dead. He's gonna fire me. |
906 | 00:54:49,166 | 00:54:52,917 | (sighs) Hey, if he fires you, isn't he also cutting off his own daughter? | (sighs) Hey, if he fires you, isn't he also cutting off his own daughter? |
907 | 00:54:53,000 | 00:54:56,750 | He's gonna give her an allowance that I'm not allowed to touch. | He's gonna give her an allowance that I'm not allowed to touch. |
908 | 00:54:56,834 | 00:54:59,375 | Well, (lips smack) that'd do it. | Well, (lips smack) that'd do it. |
909 | 00:54:59,709 | 00:55:01,458 | (moans) | (moans) |
910 | 00:55:01,542 | 00:55:03,917 | Oh, relax will ya. There are plenty of ways to ruin a wedding. | Oh, relax will ya. There are plenty of ways to ruin a wedding. |
911 | 00:55:04,000 | 00:55:05,959 | -Such as? -It's easy. | -Such as? -It's easy. |
912 | 00:55:06,041 | 00:55:07,291 | You know what bachelor parties are like. | You know what bachelor parties are like. |
913 | 00:55:07,375 | 00:55:11,667 | Beautiful women, liquor flowing, raw naked temptation. | Beautiful women, liquor flowing, raw naked temptation. |
914 | 00:55:12,041 | 00:55:14,458 | Booger's bound to succumb. | Booger's bound to succumb. |
915 | 00:55:14,542 | 00:55:17,166 | According to his bio, he's got the self-control of a brahma bull. | According to his bio, he's got the self-control of a brahma bull. |
916 | 00:55:17,250 | 00:55:20,291 | Uhh, how would we, uh-- How would we show proof of this? | Uhh, how would we, uh-- How would we show proof of this? |
917 | 00:55:20,375 | 00:55:22,834 | We'll make one of America's | We'll make one of America's |
918 | 00:55:22,917 | 00:55:26,417 | least funny home videos. | least funny home videos. |
919 | 00:55:26,500 | 00:55:30,250 | -(chuckling) -(chuckling) | -(chuckling) -(chuckling) |
920 | 00:55:31,333 | 00:55:32,375 | Do it. | Do it. |
921 | 00:55:34,208 | 00:55:37,583 | Hey. There's a horse here named Big Booger. | Hey. There's a horse here named Big Booger. |
922 | 00:55:41,083 | 00:55:44,125 | ♪♪ | ♪♪ |
923 | 00:55:48,625 | 00:55:51,834 | (groans) I missed the food fight. | (groans) I missed the food fight. |
924 | 00:55:51,917 | 00:55:54,959 | And now I'm gonna miss Booger's surprise theme bachelor party. | And now I'm gonna miss Booger's surprise theme bachelor party. |
925 | 00:55:55,041 | 00:55:57,667 | Well, not really, Stan. | Well, not really, Stan. |
926 | 00:55:57,750 | 00:56:01,166 | May I present to you and Judy a special Valentine's Day treat. | May I present to you and Judy a special Valentine's Day treat. |
927 | 00:56:01,250 | 00:56:05,500 | Try these on for size, ok? Now, tonight when the bachelor party starts, | Try these on for size, ok? Now, tonight when the bachelor party starts, |
928 | 00:56:05,583 | 00:56:09,834 | you simply turn on the TV, hit the function button on your remote. OK? | you simply turn on the TV, hit the function button on your remote. OK? |
929 | 00:56:09,917 | 00:56:12,208 | And you might not be there, but you'll have the next best thing-- | And you might not be there, but you'll have the next best thing-- |
930 | 00:56:13,208 | 00:56:16,834 | -Skolnick Vision. -(guffaws) | -Skolnick Vision. -(guffaws) |
931 | 00:56:16,917 | 00:56:18,875 | -Bye, guys. -Thanks, Lewis. | -Bye, guys. -Thanks, Lewis. |
932 | 00:56:19,000 | 00:56:21,583 | -Thanks. -(door opens, closes) | -Thanks. -(door opens, closes) |
933 | 00:56:21,667 | 00:56:23,709 | (both guffawing) | (both guffawing) |
934 | 00:56:23,792 | 00:56:26,583 | -♪♪ (dance rock) -(shouting, chattering) | -♪♪ (dance rock) -(shouting, chattering) |
935 | 00:56:28,834 | 00:56:31,750 | -Oh, I made it! -Great shot, Takashi. You know, you owe me another 20 bucks. | -Oh, I made it! -Great shot, Takashi. You know, you owe me another 20 bucks. |
936 | 00:56:31,834 | 00:56:33,500 | -Huh? -Well, sometimes when you win, you lose. | -Huh? -Well, sometimes when you win, you lose. |
937 | 00:56:33,583 | 00:56:34,875 | Now, let's play for your watch. | Now, let's play for your watch. |
938 | 00:56:34,959 | 00:56:37,208 | -Okay, thank you. -You're welcome. (laughs) | -Okay, thank you. -You're welcome. (laughs) |
939 | 00:56:37,291 | 00:56:40,792 | Red ball, middle pocket and you can call me London Fats. (chuckles) | Red ball, middle pocket and you can call me London Fats. (chuckles) |
940 | 00:56:42,250 | 00:56:44,709 | (party favors squealing) | (party favors squealing) |
941 | 00:56:44,792 | 00:56:47,834 | Ah, here you go. A bumper pool tournament! | Ah, here you go. A bumper pool tournament! |
942 | 00:56:47,917 | 00:56:50,542 | I mean, what an original idea for a bachelor party! | I mean, what an original idea for a bachelor party! |
943 | 00:56:50,625 | 00:56:52,875 | I knew that you would love it, Booger. | I knew that you would love it, Booger. |
944 | 00:56:52,959 | 00:56:55,917 | Is there gonna be a girlie show? | Is there gonna be a girlie show? |
945 | 00:56:56,000 | 00:56:58,250 | Mr. Dawson, that would be sexist. | Mr. Dawson, that would be sexist. |
946 | 00:56:58,333 | 00:57:01,583 | Yeah, we believe it's possible to be entertained without demeaning women. | Yeah, we believe it's possible to be entertained without demeaning women. |
947 | 00:57:01,667 | 00:57:05,458 | That's nice. But personally, I'd prefer a little skin. | That's nice. But personally, I'd prefer a little skin. |
948 | 00:57:07,125 | 00:57:10,667 | Hey, hey, fellas, I got winners. (chuckles) | Hey, hey, fellas, I got winners. (chuckles) |
949 | 00:57:12,625 | 00:57:15,709 | He's got a lot of nerve showing his face around here. | He's got a lot of nerve showing his face around here. |
950 | 00:57:15,792 | 00:57:18,375 | -Temper, temper. -Don't worry about it, Booger. | -Temper, temper. -Don't worry about it, Booger. |
951 | 00:57:18,458 | 00:57:21,375 | We got him under 24-hour surveillance. | We got him under 24-hour surveillance. |
952 | 00:57:21,458 | 00:57:24,000 | There's nothing he can do that we don't know about. | There's nothing he can do that we don't know about. |
953 | 00:57:24,500 | 00:57:26,583 | -(laughs) -(laughs) | -(laughs) -(laughs) |
954 | 00:57:26,667 | 00:57:28,709 | Hey, no lofting, Harold! | Hey, no lofting, Harold! |
955 | 00:57:28,792 | 00:57:32,417 | (chanting) Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! | (chanting) Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! |
956 | 00:57:32,500 | 00:57:35,041 | -Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! -(gargles) | -Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! -(gargles) |
957 | 00:57:35,125 | 00:57:38,917 | I really expected Aaron to be here tonight. | I really expected Aaron to be here tonight. |
958 | 00:57:39,000 | 00:57:41,291 | He doesn't want anything to do with the wedding. | He doesn't want anything to do with the wedding. |
959 | 00:57:41,375 | 00:57:44,458 | Well, he might have extended me the courtesy of allowing me to know that. | Well, he might have extended me the courtesy of allowing me to know that. |
960 | 00:57:44,542 | 00:57:46,500 | (chanting) Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! | (chanting) Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! |
961 | 00:57:46,583 | 00:57:49,792 | All right, all right, all right. All right! | All right, all right, all right. All right! |
962 | 00:57:49,875 | 00:57:51,875 | (chanting stops) Nouveau-- | (chanting stops) Nouveau-- |
963 | 00:57:52,917 | 00:57:54,834 | Now, I know we had a little trouble today | Now, I know we had a little trouble today |
964 | 00:57:54,917 | 00:57:57,959 | at the all-you-can-eat nerd bridal shower at the Rump Roast Room at noon, | at the all-you-can-eat nerd bridal shower at the Rump Roast Room at noon, |
965 | 00:57:58,041 | 00:58:00,250 | but, hey, that's behind us now, right? | but, hey, that's behind us now, right? |
966 | 00:58:00,333 | 00:58:02,625 | -We're adults. -Hold it, everybody. | -We're adults. -Hold it, everybody. |
967 | 00:58:02,709 | 00:58:05,750 | -Lewis is right. -(coughs) | -Lewis is right. -(coughs) |
968 | 00:58:05,834 | 00:58:08,834 | Why, even I've been a bit of a recalcitrant during this wedding, | Why, even I've been a bit of a recalcitrant during this wedding, |
969 | 00:58:08,917 | 00:58:12,583 | but now that I've gotten to know... Booger, | but now that I've gotten to know... Booger, |
970 | 00:58:12,667 | 00:58:16,291 | I realize that you and Jeanie are a perfect couple. | I realize that you and Jeanie are a perfect couple. |
971 | 00:58:16,375 | 00:58:20,583 | And I know that it's only the first step, | And I know that it's only the first step, |
972 | 00:58:20,667 | 00:58:24,333 | -♪♪ (dance rock) -but I'm hoping that you will accept... | -♪♪ (dance rock) -but I'm hoping that you will accept... |
973 | 00:58:24,417 | 00:58:27,333 | -MAN: Look at that. -...my dove of peace. | -MAN: Look at that. -...my dove of peace. |
974 | 00:58:27,417 | 00:58:30,750 | -(excited chattering) -(party favors squealing) | -(excited chattering) -(party favors squealing) |
975 | 00:58:33,250 | 00:58:35,750 | -Miss Modem! -(all cheering) | -Miss Modem! -(all cheering) |
976 | 00:58:37,875 | 00:58:41,959 | -Miss Numbers. -Come on! | -Miss Numbers. -Come on! |
977 | 00:58:42,041 | 00:58:43,959 | (sighs) | (sighs) |
978 | 00:58:44,041 | 00:58:46,667 | Miss Mainframe. | Miss Mainframe. |
979 | 00:58:46,750 | 00:58:50,875 | -Leave it to Chip to be sexist. -M-m-me, me, me! | -Leave it to Chip to be sexist. -M-m-me, me, me! |
980 | 00:58:50,959 | 00:58:52,917 | -CHIP: Miss Communication. -(gasps) | -CHIP: Miss Communication. -(gasps) |
981 | 00:58:54,917 | 00:58:57,333 | You know, they are sort of enjoyable. | You know, they are sort of enjoyable. |
982 | 00:58:57,417 | 00:58:59,917 | -CHIP: Miss Floppy Disk. -BOOGER: (moaning) | -CHIP: Miss Floppy Disk. -BOOGER: (moaning) |
983 | 00:59:00,583 | 00:59:04,417 | -(moaning continues) -♪♪ | -(moaning continues) -♪♪ |
984 | 00:59:09,166 | 00:59:11,750 | -I love you! -Come on! | -I love you! -Come on! |
985 | 00:59:11,834 | 00:59:14,625 | -(all shouting) -(party favors squealing) | -(all shouting) -(party favors squealing) |
986 | 00:59:22,583 | 00:59:25,542 | Hey, hey, hey. | Hey, hey, hey. |
987 | 00:59:25,625 | 00:59:28,208 | -I'll take care of him. -Go get him. | -I'll take care of him. -Go get him. |
988 | 00:59:28,291 | 00:59:32,083 | -Hi, Booger. I'm your present. -(growls) | -Hi, Booger. I'm your present. -(growls) |
989 | 00:59:32,166 | 00:59:36,458 | ♪♪ (continues) | ♪♪ (continues) |
990 | 00:59:37,625 | 00:59:40,583 | WOMAN: ♪ You make quiver ♪ | WOMAN: ♪ You make quiver ♪ |
991 | 00:59:40,667 | 00:59:43,291 | (moans) You feel so good! | (moans) You feel so good! |
992 | 00:59:50,166 | 00:59:52,667 | I can't take no more! | I can't take no more! |
993 | 00:59:53,667 | 00:59:56,959 | ♪ You make me quiver ♪ | ♪ You make me quiver ♪ |
994 | 00:59:57,041 | 00:59:59,125 | (both guffawing) | (both guffawing) |
995 | 01:00:01,500 | 01:00:04,417 | MAN: Take it off! | MAN: Take it off! |
996 | 01:00:04,500 | 01:00:06,542 | (cheering) | (cheering) |
997 | 01:00:10,542 | 01:00:12,667 | (guffawing continues) | (guffawing continues) |
998 | 01:00:13,959 | 01:00:17,375 | ♪♪ (music continues) | ♪♪ (music continues) |
999 | 01:00:33,208 | 01:00:35,208 | ♪ You make me quiver ♪ | ♪ You make me quiver ♪ |
1000 | 01:00:35,542 | 01:00:36,500 | (laughing) | (laughing) |
1001 | 01:00:36,583 | 01:00:38,959 | You know, this--this Skolnick Vision is great, | You know, this--this Skolnick Vision is great, |
1002 | 01:00:39,041 | 01:00:43,250 | but, ah, still, it's not like actually being there. | but, ah, still, it's not like actually being there. |
1003 | 01:00:46,542 | 01:00:49,417 | We could have our own stag party, Stan. | We could have our own stag party, Stan. |
1004 | 01:00:51,542 | 01:00:54,375 | ♪♪ (continues) | ♪♪ (continues) |
1005 | 01:00:54,834 | 01:00:58,291 | -(all shouting) -(party favors squealing) | -(all shouting) -(party favors squealing) |
1006 | 01:00:58,375 | 01:01:01,250 | ♪ You make quiver ♪ | ♪ You make quiver ♪ |
1007 | 01:01:04,709 | 01:01:07,709 | ♪♪ (vocalizing) | ♪♪ (vocalizing) |
1008 | 01:01:09,166 | 01:01:10,625 | (laughing) | (laughing) |
1009 | 01:01:10,709 | 01:01:14,000 | ♪ You make quiver ♪ | ♪ You make quiver ♪ |
1010 | 01:01:14,083 | 01:01:15,875 | (all shouting) | (all shouting) |
1011 | 01:01:19,375 | 01:01:20,417 | ♪ Shiver ♪ | ♪ Shiver ♪ |
1012 | 01:01:23,291 | 01:01:26,000 | -(cheering) -(shouting) | -(cheering) -(shouting) |
1013 | 01:01:26,083 | 01:01:28,709 | ♪ You make me quiver ♪ | ♪ You make me quiver ♪ |
1014 | 01:01:28,792 | 01:01:32,709 | -♪♪ (continues) -(cheering) | -♪♪ (continues) -(cheering) |
1015 | 01:01:36,417 | 01:01:38,417 | (laughing) | (laughing) |
1016 | 01:01:42,083 | 01:01:45,291 | We're gonna have some fun. A cool time. | We're gonna have some fun. A cool time. |
1017 | 01:01:46,583 | 01:01:49,709 | (both laughing) | (both laughing) |
1018 | 01:01:49,792 | 01:01:51,959 | -What is all this? -(chuckles) | -What is all this? -(chuckles) |
1019 | 01:01:52,041 | 01:01:54,959 | This is anything that you want it to be, Booger. | This is anything that you want it to be, Booger. |
1020 | 01:01:59,750 | 01:02:03,417 | (whirring) | (whirring) |
1021 | 01:02:03,500 | 01:02:06,542 | -♪♪ (conga drum beating) -ALL: Hey! Hey! | -♪♪ (conga drum beating) -ALL: Hey! Hey! |
1022 | 01:02:06,625 | 01:02:09,417 | Hey! | Hey! |
1023 | 01:02:09,500 | 01:02:11,709 | Hey! Hey! | Hey! Hey! |
1024 | 01:02:11,792 | 01:02:13,583 | Hey! | Hey! |
1025 | 01:02:13,667 | 01:02:17,291 | Hey! Hey! | Hey! Hey! |
1026 | 01:02:20,959 | 01:02:23,333 | Did you do the nasty? | Did you do the nasty? |
1027 | 01:02:26,625 | 01:02:29,041 | I still got it. | I still got it. |
1028 | 01:02:29,125 | 01:02:31,458 | (all shouting, cheering) | (all shouting, cheering) |
1029 | 01:02:33,625 | 01:02:36,125 | -All right, Booger! -♪♪ (conga drum resumes) | -All right, Booger! -♪♪ (conga drum resumes) |
1030 | 01:02:36,208 | 01:02:40,125 | Hey! Hey! Hey! | Hey! Hey! Hey! |
1031 | 01:02:42,208 | 01:02:46,208 | This better be good, Chip, to have woken us up in the middle of the night. | This better be good, Chip, to have woken us up in the middle of the night. |
1032 | 01:02:46,291 | 01:02:50,417 | I just want you all to see what kind of lowlife Jeanie's going to marry. | I just want you all to see what kind of lowlife Jeanie's going to marry. |
1033 | 01:02:50,500 | 01:02:51,875 | BOOGER (on TV): What is all this? | BOOGER (on TV): What is all this? |
1034 | 01:02:51,959 | 01:02:52,959 | Booger? | Booger? |
1035 | 01:02:53,041 | 01:02:57,291 | This is anything you want it to be, Booger. | This is anything you want it to be, Booger. |
1036 | 01:02:57,375 | 01:03:00,417 | It's your last night as a single man. | It's your last night as a single man. |
1037 | 01:03:00,500 | 01:03:02,875 | You're allowed to have a little fun, Booger. | You're allowed to have a little fun, Booger. |
1038 | 01:03:02,959 | 01:03:06,000 | Oh, my God. | Oh, my God. |
1039 | 01:03:07,542 | 01:03:11,625 | -I can't do this. -Everybody's nervous at first. | -I can't do this. -Everybody's nervous at first. |
1040 | 01:03:11,709 | 01:03:16,125 | No, no, no. It's not that I'm nervous. | No, no, no. It's not that I'm nervous. |
1041 | 01:03:16,208 | 01:03:20,000 | I am not nervous. | I am not nervous. |
1042 | 01:03:20,083 | 01:03:22,959 | It's just that, um, | It's just that, um, |
1043 | 01:03:23,041 | 01:03:27,250 | Jeanie and I have a special bond... | Jeanie and I have a special bond... |
1044 | 01:03:27,333 | 01:03:30,583 | and I don't want to break it. | and I don't want to break it. |
1045 | 01:03:32,709 | 01:03:35,000 | Plus, you make me very nervous. | Plus, you make me very nervous. |
1046 | 01:03:37,333 | 01:03:40,750 | So, if it's all right with you, perhaps we could just... | So, if it's all right with you, perhaps we could just... |
1047 | 01:03:42,834 | 01:03:45,792 | sit here for a, for a moment... | sit here for a, for a moment... |
1048 | 01:03:45,875 | 01:03:48,625 | so that the guys outside won't... | so that the guys outside won't... |
1049 | 01:03:48,709 | 01:03:51,250 | think that I'm the sissy that you know me to be. | think that I'm the sissy that you know me to be. |
1050 | 01:03:51,333 | 01:03:53,125 | -(laughs) -(kiss) | -(laughs) -(kiss) |
1051 | 01:03:53,208 | 01:03:57,166 | You're not a sissy, Booger. You're a mensch. | You're not a sissy, Booger. You're a mensch. |
1052 | 01:03:57,250 | 01:04:00,750 | -I think he acted very responsibly. -That's right, Chip. | -I think he acted very responsibly. -That's right, Chip. |
1053 | 01:04:02,583 | 01:04:05,667 | -(smacks butt) -Oh, yes, Mommy! | -(smacks butt) -Oh, yes, Mommy! |
1054 | 01:04:05,750 | 01:04:09,291 | -Oh, God. (laughing) - Oh, I'm feeling better. | -Oh, God. (laughing) - Oh, I'm feeling better. |
1055 | 01:04:09,375 | 01:04:13,834 | -Ooh. -I've been bad. I've been very bad! | -Ooh. -I've been bad. I've been very bad! |
1056 | 01:04:13,917 | 01:04:16,000 | I want a divorce, Chip. | I want a divorce, Chip. |
1057 | 01:04:16,083 | 01:04:19,417 | It must be a mistake. That's not me. | It must be a mistake. That's not me. |
1058 | 01:04:21,542 | 01:04:24,375 | Those nerds did it. I bet they did it on a computer or something. | Those nerds did it. I bet they did it on a computer or something. |
1059 | 01:04:24,458 | 01:04:26,542 | God, the things they can do with computers these days. | God, the things they can do with computers these days. |
1060 | 01:04:26,625 | 01:04:31,250 | No. I'm the one who made the mistake, Chip, when I married you. | No. I'm the one who made the mistake, Chip, when I married you. |
1061 | 01:04:33,291 | 01:04:35,500 | It was a little indiscretion at a bachelor party. | It was a little indiscretion at a bachelor party. |
1062 | 01:04:35,583 | 01:04:38,208 | It's not just the video, Chip! | It's not just the video, Chip! |
1063 | 01:04:38,291 | 01:04:41,500 | It's been all downhill since the honeymoon. | It's been all downhill since the honeymoon. |
1064 | 01:04:41,583 | 01:04:44,875 | You drink too much. You're mentally abusive to me. | You drink too much. You're mentally abusive to me. |
1065 | 01:04:44,959 | 01:04:47,667 | You fool around with other women. | You fool around with other women. |
1066 | 01:04:47,750 | 01:04:50,500 | We have absolutely nothing in common. | We have absolutely nothing in common. |
1067 | 01:04:50,583 | 01:04:53,250 | Well, maybe I could work a little harder. | Well, maybe I could work a little harder. |
1068 | 01:04:53,333 | 01:04:57,625 | It makes me ill to think I've stayed with you as long as I have. | It makes me ill to think I've stayed with you as long as I have. |
1069 | 01:04:58,834 | 01:05:01,834 | (gagging) | (gagging) |
1070 | 01:05:01,917 | 01:05:04,000 | CHIP: Honey? | CHIP: Honey? |
1071 | 01:05:08,417 | 01:05:10,709 | You mind if I spoke to Chip alone? | You mind if I spoke to Chip alone? |
1072 | 01:05:10,792 | 01:05:12,667 | Oh, no, certainly. Come, sweetie. | Oh, no, certainly. Come, sweetie. |
1073 | 01:05:12,750 | 01:05:14,625 | TIPPY: Gaylord! | TIPPY: Gaylord! |
1074 | 01:05:19,917 | 01:05:22,875 | -This isn't good, Chip. -No. | -This isn't good, Chip. -No. |
1075 | 01:05:23,834 | 01:05:25,917 | So I'm gonna kill you, Chip. | So I'm gonna kill you, Chip. |
1076 | 01:05:26,000 | 01:05:29,083 | You made a fool out of my daughter! | You made a fool out of my daughter! |
1077 | 01:05:29,166 | 01:05:31,083 | Aaron, I can explain everything. | Aaron, I can explain everything. |
1078 | 01:05:31,166 | 01:05:33,083 | You lied about the illegitimate child, | You lied about the illegitimate child, |
1079 | 01:05:33,166 | 01:05:35,959 | then you tried to frame Booger and you got caught! | then you tried to frame Booger and you got caught! |
1080 | 01:05:36,041 | 01:05:38,917 | The illegitimate child will be here tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m. | The illegitimate child will be here tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m. |
1081 | 01:05:39,000 | 01:05:41,250 | She's on route right now from Sandusky, Ohio. | She's on route right now from Sandusky, Ohio. |
1082 | 01:05:41,333 | 01:05:44,250 | There is no illegitimate child! You made it all up. | There is no illegitimate child! You made it all up. |
1083 | 01:05:44,333 | 01:05:47,375 | The illegitimate child will be here at 10:00 in the morning! | The illegitimate child will be here at 10:00 in the morning! |
1084 | 01:05:47,458 | 01:05:51,417 | It better be! And you better get my daughter to forgive you, | It better be! And you better get my daughter to forgive you, |
1085 | 01:05:51,500 | 01:05:54,041 | or there's no room for you in this family | or there's no room for you in this family |
1086 | 01:05:54,125 | 01:05:58,208 | or at Humphrey Industries, you pervert creep. | or at Humphrey Industries, you pervert creep. |
1087 | 01:06:00,375 | 01:06:01,458 | (door slams) | (door slams) |
1088 | 01:06:05,417 | 01:06:08,625 | Oh, boy. That was one heck of a stag party last night, Lewis. | Oh, boy. That was one heck of a stag party last night, Lewis. |
1089 | 01:06:08,709 | 01:06:10,959 | I know I'll never forget it. | I know I'll never forget it. |
1090 | 01:06:11,041 | 01:06:14,959 | I especially enjoyed your dance with the woman who removed her clothes, Mr. Booger. | I especially enjoyed your dance with the woman who removed her clothes, Mr. Booger. |
1091 | 01:06:15,041 | 01:06:19,333 | Trevor, remember there's a code of silence about what goes on at a stag party. | Trevor, remember there's a code of silence about what goes on at a stag party. |
1092 | 01:06:19,417 | 01:06:21,959 | -Code of silence? -So, reveal nothing, | -Code of silence? -So, reveal nothing, |
1093 | 01:06:22,041 | 01:06:24,959 | even if you're under hours of interrogation and torture. | even if you're under hours of interrogation and torture. |
1094 | 01:06:25,041 | 01:06:27,667 | Wild horses couldn't drag it out of me. | Wild horses couldn't drag it out of me. |
1095 | 01:06:27,750 | 01:06:31,000 | (chuckles) Who aren't I supposed to tell? | (chuckles) Who aren't I supposed to tell? |
1096 | 01:06:46,625 | 01:06:48,458 | -Lewis. -Huh? | -Lewis. -Huh? |
1097 | 01:06:49,041 | 01:06:50,583 | There were women there, weren't there? | There were women there, weren't there? |
1098 | 01:06:54,083 | 01:06:55,583 | Yes. | Yes. |
1099 | 01:06:59,250 | 01:07:00,583 | Were they pretty? | Were they pretty? |
1100 | 01:07:02,750 | 01:07:03,917 | Yes. | Yes. |
1101 | 01:07:04,792 | 01:07:06,208 | What'd you do with them? | What'd you do with them? |
1102 | 01:07:08,709 | 01:07:11,333 | -The bunny hop. -That's all you did? | -The bunny hop. -That's all you did? |
1103 | 01:07:11,417 | 01:07:14,750 | -Yes. -Was the bunny hop? | -Yes. -Was the bunny hop? |
1104 | 01:07:17,750 | 01:07:20,542 | Okay. You can still be my valentine then. | Okay. You can still be my valentine then. |
1105 | 01:07:24,583 | 01:07:27,709 | Oh, Betty. (sighs) You shouldn't have. | Oh, Betty. (sighs) You shouldn't have. |
1106 | 01:07:27,792 | 01:07:30,208 | -He's so cute. -He plays something too. | -He's so cute. -He plays something too. |
1107 | 01:07:30,291 | 01:07:32,875 | Beautiful. (chuckles) | Beautiful. (chuckles) |
1108 | 01:07:32,959 | 01:07:37,000 | Hey, guys! It's Valentine's Day! | Hey, guys! It's Valentine's Day! |
1109 | 01:07:37,083 | 01:07:39,250 | ALL: Happy Valentine's Day! | ALL: Happy Valentine's Day! |
1110 | 01:07:39,333 | 01:07:41,166 | Happy Valentine's. | Happy Valentine's. |
1111 | 01:07:42,667 | 01:07:46,417 | Aaron, I hope you didn't have anything | Aaron, I hope you didn't have anything |
1112 | 01:07:46,500 | 01:07:49,375 | to do with videotaping Booger at the stag party. | to do with videotaping Booger at the stag party. |
1113 | 01:07:49,458 | 01:07:51,834 | Absolutely not. I wasn't even there. | Absolutely not. I wasn't even there. |
1114 | 01:07:51,917 | 01:07:54,041 | Mm-hmm. | Mm-hmm. |
1115 | 01:07:54,125 | 01:07:57,750 | Aaron, if you don't participate in this wedding | Aaron, if you don't participate in this wedding |
1116 | 01:07:57,834 | 01:08:00,750 | and make your daughter proud of you, | and make your daughter proud of you, |
1117 | 01:08:00,834 | 01:08:02,542 | I'm going to leave you. | I'm going to leave you. |
1118 | 01:08:02,625 | 01:08:05,208 | You would leave me? | You would leave me? |
1119 | 01:08:05,291 | 01:08:08,875 | I have learned a lot from the nerds. Nerds speak their mind. | I have learned a lot from the nerds. Nerds speak their mind. |
1120 | 01:08:08,959 | 01:08:11,750 | And from now on, I'm gonna speak my mind too. | And from now on, I'm gonna speak my mind too. |
1121 | 01:08:11,834 | 01:08:15,458 | If you don't support your daughter during this wedding, I'm outta here. | If you don't support your daughter during this wedding, I'm outta here. |
1122 | 01:08:15,542 | 01:08:17,333 | Fix your ascot. | Fix your ascot. |
1123 | 01:08:18,792 | 01:08:21,709 | It's not like I'm giving up that much. | It's not like I'm giving up that much. |
1124 | 01:08:21,792 | 01:08:23,667 | What is that supposed to mean? | What is that supposed to mean? |
1125 | 01:08:24,166 | 01:08:26,250 | Aaron, | Aaron, |
1126 | 01:08:26,333 | 01:08:29,583 | we haven't had sex since the Bush administration. | we haven't had sex since the Bush administration. |
1127 | 01:08:29,667 | 01:08:33,583 | Well, it's, uh, hard to perform in that way when the Democrats are in power. | Well, it's, uh, hard to perform in that way when the Democrats are in power. |
1128 | 01:08:33,667 | 01:08:35,750 | Ask any guy in this neighborhood. | Ask any guy in this neighborhood. |
1129 | 01:08:35,834 | 01:08:38,417 | That's why the sex hasn't been that hot lately. | That's why the sex hasn't been that hot lately. |
1130 | 01:08:38,500 | 01:08:41,625 | Hot? I'd settle for lukewarm. | Hot? I'd settle for lukewarm. |
1131 | 01:08:41,709 | 01:08:43,542 | Zip your fly. | Zip your fly. |
1132 | 01:08:45,166 | 01:08:46,542 | (zipper screeches) | (zipper screeches) |
1133 | 01:08:47,375 | 01:08:49,125 | Well, it's not all my fault. | Well, it's not all my fault. |
1134 | 01:08:49,208 | 01:08:51,959 | How can I have sex when I have to spend all my time | How can I have sex when I have to spend all my time |
1135 | 01:08:52,041 | 01:08:55,291 | fixing my ascot, zippering my fly and matching my socks? | fixing my ascot, zippering my fly and matching my socks? |
1136 | 01:08:55,375 | 01:08:58,417 | I can't be perfect for you anymore, Tippy. | I can't be perfect for you anymore, Tippy. |
1137 | 01:08:58,500 | 01:09:00,625 | It's too much pressure. | It's too much pressure. |
1138 | 01:09:00,709 | 01:09:04,625 | Aaron. I thought I was helping you. | Aaron. I thought I was helping you. |
1139 | 01:09:04,709 | 01:09:07,417 | I know how much you wanna be accepted by the blue bloods, | I know how much you wanna be accepted by the blue bloods, |
1140 | 01:09:07,500 | 01:09:10,834 | but you don't ever have to be perfect for me. | but you don't ever have to be perfect for me. |
1141 | 01:09:10,917 | 01:09:15,291 | -I don't? -No. | -I don't? -No. |
1142 | 01:09:15,375 | 01:09:19,375 | I just want you to be the imperfect animal I fell in love with. | I just want you to be the imperfect animal I fell in love with. |
1143 | 01:09:20,250 | 01:09:22,500 | You mean it? | You mean it? |
1144 | 01:09:22,583 | 01:09:25,333 | Absolutely. | Absolutely. |
1145 | 01:09:25,417 | 01:09:27,458 | Tippy. | Tippy. |
1146 | 01:09:27,542 | 01:09:29,458 | Aaron. | Aaron. |
1147 | 01:09:29,542 | 01:09:31,500 | Oh, Tippy. | Oh, Tippy. |
1148 | 01:09:31,583 | 01:09:33,333 | Aaron! | Aaron! |
1149 | 01:09:33,417 | 01:09:36,291 | Oh! Oh! Oh! | Oh! Oh! Oh! |
1150 | 01:09:41,083 | 01:09:44,291 | MAN: ♪ Cupid ♪ | MAN: ♪ Cupid ♪ |
1151 | 01:09:44,375 | 01:09:48,458 | ♪ You've got the world upon a string ♪ | ♪ You've got the world upon a string ♪ |
1152 | 01:09:48,542 | 01:09:53,333 | ♪ It's time for armored hearts to sing ♪ | ♪ It's time for armored hearts to sing ♪ |
1153 | 01:09:53,417 | 01:09:57,417 | ♪ So bless these sweet nerd lips ♪ | ♪ So bless these sweet nerd lips ♪ |
1154 | 01:09:59,375 | 01:10:01,959 | ♪ Cupid ♪ | ♪ Cupid ♪ |
1155 | 01:10:02,041 | 01:10:07,166 | ♪ Strike while your arrow's point is sharp ♪ | ♪ Strike while your arrow's point is sharp ♪ |
1156 | 01:10:07,250 | 01:10:12,333 | ♪ Play sweet melodies upon your harp ♪ | ♪ Play sweet melodies upon your harp ♪ |
1157 | 01:10:12,417 | 01:10:16,750 | ♪ Make all their sweet little nerdy dreams come true ♪ | ♪ Make all their sweet little nerdy dreams come true ♪ |
1158 | 01:10:18,625 | 01:10:23,542 | ♪ Give them one more chance ♪ | ♪ Give them one more chance ♪ |
1159 | 01:10:23,625 | 01:10:27,709 | -♪ To breathe in romance ♪ -(guffawing) | -♪ To breathe in romance ♪ -(guffawing) |
1160 | 01:10:27,792 | 01:10:29,834 | ♪ Cupid ♪ | ♪ Cupid ♪ |
1161 | 01:10:29,917 | 01:10:32,166 | Hey, I don't know if you're enjoying your wedding, | Hey, I don't know if you're enjoying your wedding, |
1162 | 01:10:32,250 | 01:10:35,333 | but it's been the best time of my life. | but it's been the best time of my life. |
1163 | 01:10:35,417 | 01:10:37,875 | Nerds. Who knew? | Nerds. Who knew? |
1164 | 01:10:37,959 | 01:10:41,000 | -Where are you? -Well, I'm over at Lois's. | -Where are you? -Well, I'm over at Lois's. |
1165 | 01:10:41,083 | 01:10:44,041 | Well, it's been special. | Well, it's been special. |
1166 | 01:10:44,125 | 01:10:47,041 | And thank God it's all going to end this afternoon. | And thank God it's all going to end this afternoon. |
1167 | 01:10:47,125 | 01:10:49,834 | It's all gonna end right now. | It's all gonna end right now. |
1168 | 01:10:50,792 | 01:10:53,792 | I'd like you to meet Heidi Dawson, your daughter. | I'd like you to meet Heidi Dawson, your daughter. |
1169 | 01:10:56,000 | 01:10:57,667 | Go. | Go. |
1170 | 01:11:08,000 | 01:11:10,041 | -TIPPY: Oh, Aaron! -It's off! | -TIPPY: Oh, Aaron! -It's off! |
1171 | 01:11:10,500 | 01:11:12,083 | (gasps) | (gasps) |
1172 | 01:11:12,166 | 01:11:13,125 | -What's off? -What? | -What's off? -What? |
1173 | 01:11:13,208 | 01:11:14,291 | The wedding! | The wedding! |
1174 | 01:11:15,375 | 01:11:18,000 | Booger's kid turned up. I told you there was a kid. | Booger's kid turned up. I told you there was a kid. |
1175 | 01:11:23,542 | 01:11:27,792 | -Guys, the wedding is off. -(gasps) | -Guys, the wedding is off. -(gasps) |
1176 | 01:11:31,959 | 01:11:34,250 | It's not your fault. | It's not your fault. |
1177 | 01:11:34,333 | 01:11:37,709 | You didn't do anything. You didn't ask to be born. | You didn't do anything. You didn't ask to be born. |
1178 | 01:11:39,250 | 01:11:42,583 | Would you like me to give you a push on those swings? | Would you like me to give you a push on those swings? |
1179 | 01:11:42,667 | 01:11:46,750 | -No, thanks. -Mmm, I'm a pretty good swing pusher. | -No, thanks. -Mmm, I'm a pretty good swing pusher. |
1180 | 01:11:46,834 | 01:11:48,667 | I could give you an over-the-top. | I could give you an over-the-top. |
1181 | 01:11:48,750 | 01:11:51,750 | I'm too old to be pushed on the swings. | I'm too old to be pushed on the swings. |
1182 | 01:11:51,834 | 01:11:55,333 | Oh, right. Yeah, you're too old for that. | Oh, right. Yeah, you're too old for that. |
1183 | 01:11:57,000 | 01:11:59,458 | I used to hate it when people treated me like a baby. | I used to hate it when people treated me like a baby. |
1184 | 01:11:59,542 | 01:12:01,709 | -You did? -Oh, yeah. | -You did? -Oh, yeah. |
1185 | 01:12:02,375 | 01:12:04,041 | So what do you like to do? | So what do you like to do? |
1186 | 01:12:05,083 | 01:12:07,166 | I'm afraid to tell you because | I'm afraid to tell you because |
1187 | 01:12:07,250 | 01:12:10,667 | if you don't like what I like, then you won't like me. | if you don't like what I like, then you won't like me. |
1188 | 01:12:14,333 | 01:12:18,166 | I think... I'm going to like you | I think... I'm going to like you |
1189 | 01:12:18,250 | 01:12:20,125 | no matter what you do, | no matter what you do, |
1190 | 01:12:20,208 | 01:12:23,041 | as long as you live. | as long as you live. |
1191 | 01:12:23,625 | 01:12:25,375 | So there. | So there. |
1192 | 01:12:27,583 | 01:12:29,542 | (tires squealing) | (tires squealing) |
1193 | 01:12:38,208 | 01:12:39,250 | (car door closes) | (car door closes) |
1194 | 01:12:46,291 | 01:12:50,291 | -Booger. -I'm here to see Jeanie. | -Booger. -I'm here to see Jeanie. |
1195 | 01:12:50,375 | 01:12:53,625 | I'm sorry, Booger, but Jeanie doesn't wanna speak with you. | I'm sorry, Booger, but Jeanie doesn't wanna speak with you. |
1196 | 01:12:53,709 | 01:12:55,083 | I would like her to tell me that. | I would like her to tell me that. |
1197 | 01:12:56,875 | 01:13:00,709 | Well, if she doesn't wanna talk with you, she can't very well tell you then, can she? | Well, if she doesn't wanna talk with you, she can't very well tell you then, can she? |
1198 | 01:13:00,792 | 01:13:04,375 | Mrs. Humphrey, I am trying to be civil, but now I am not asking. | Mrs. Humphrey, I am trying to be civil, but now I am not asking. |
1199 | 01:13:04,458 | 01:13:06,583 | I am demanding to see your daughter. | I am demanding to see your daughter. |
1200 | 01:13:06,667 | 01:13:09,208 | Oh, Booger. | Oh, Booger. |
1201 | 01:13:09,291 | 01:13:11,083 | I'm sorry. | I'm sorry. |
1202 | 01:13:26,083 | 01:13:28,542 | Oh, honey, help him. | Oh, honey, help him. |
1203 | 01:13:28,625 | 01:13:32,000 | Booger, every wedding has its crisis. This is yours. | Booger, every wedding has its crisis. This is yours. |
1204 | 01:13:34,417 | 01:13:37,959 | A crisis would be easy compared to this. | A crisis would be easy compared to this. |
1205 | 01:13:45,291 | 01:13:47,250 | Jeanie! | Jeanie! |
1206 | 01:13:47,333 | 01:13:49,333 | Oh, Booger. | Oh, Booger. |
1207 | 01:13:53,375 | 01:13:57,500 | Booger, the groom never stops pursuing his bride. | Booger, the groom never stops pursuing his bride. |
1208 | 01:13:59,667 | 01:14:00,834 | Never. | Never. |
1209 | 01:14:11,458 | 01:14:14,291 | Hey, pal. Hey! Hey! What are you doing? | Hey, pal. Hey! Hey! What are you doing? |
1210 | 01:14:14,375 | 01:14:16,834 | Hey, wait, wait a minute! Hey, wait! (whistles) Hey! | Hey, wait, wait a minute! Hey, wait! (whistles) Hey! |
1211 | 01:14:22,208 | 01:14:24,709 | (groans) | (groans) |
1212 | 01:14:32,375 | 01:14:35,166 | (grunting) | (grunting) |
1213 | 01:14:37,750 | 01:14:39,834 | JEANIE: Oh. | JEANIE: Oh. |
1214 | 01:14:44,583 | 01:14:47,500 | (grunting) | (grunting) |
1215 | 01:14:49,583 | 01:14:50,583 | (exhales) | (exhales) |
1216 | 01:14:51,667 | 01:14:54,166 | -Booger! -Darling! | -Booger! -Darling! |
1217 | 01:14:54,250 | 01:14:56,208 | Whoa! | Whoa! |
1218 | 01:14:59,208 | 01:15:01,458 | So what if I have a child. | So what if I have a child. |
1219 | 01:15:01,542 | 01:15:04,792 | I'm so confused. You know, I just I don't know what to think anymore. | I'm so confused. You know, I just I don't know what to think anymore. |
1220 | 01:15:04,875 | 01:15:07,125 | Oh, marry me, Jeanie. | Oh, marry me, Jeanie. |
1221 | 01:15:07,208 | 01:15:09,458 | I just need a few days to think about it. | I just need a few days to think about it. |
1222 | 01:15:09,542 | 01:15:12,500 | What, not get married on Valentine's Day? | What, not get married on Valentine's Day? |
1223 | 01:15:12,583 | 01:15:15,667 | I'm confused, Booger. I need time! | I'm confused, Booger. I need time! |
1224 | 01:15:15,750 | 01:15:19,000 | There was a time when getting married on Valentine's Day | There was a time when getting married on Valentine's Day |
1225 | 01:15:19,083 | 01:15:22,208 | was the most important thing in the world to us. | was the most important thing in the world to us. |
1226 | 01:15:25,375 | 01:15:27,375 | Please go, Booger. | Please go, Booger. |
1227 | 01:15:27,458 | 01:15:29,458 | Is that what you really want? | Is that what you really want? |
1228 | 01:15:31,083 | 01:15:35,959 | No. Not in my heart and not in my soul, | No. Not in my heart and not in my soul, |
1229 | 01:15:36,041 | 01:15:38,875 | but... I'm just so nuts over this, you know. | but... I'm just so nuts over this, you know. |
1230 | 01:15:38,959 | 01:15:42,458 | It's like I just need a little space. | It's like I just need a little space. |
1231 | 01:15:42,542 | 01:15:45,041 | Please, Booger? | Please, Booger? |
1232 | 01:16:07,083 | 01:16:08,667 | ♪ Jean ♪ | ♪ Jean ♪ |
1233 | 01:16:10,000 | 01:16:12,333 | ♪ The roses ♪ | ♪ The roses ♪ |
1234 | 01:16:12,417 | 01:16:14,583 | ♪ Are red ♪ | ♪ Are red ♪ |
1235 | 01:16:17,458 | 01:16:21,125 | ♪ All the leaves have gone green ♪ | ♪ All the leaves have gone green ♪ |
1236 | 01:16:25,625 | 01:16:29,959 | ♪ And the skies are so low ♪ | ♪ And the skies are so low ♪ |
1237 | 01:16:31,542 | 01:16:33,417 | ♪ You can touch them ♪ | ♪ You can touch them ♪ |
1238 | 01:16:33,500 | 01:16:36,583 | ♪ And so ♪ | ♪ And so ♪ |
1239 | 01:16:36,667 | 01:16:39,750 | BOTH: ♪ Come into my arms ♪ | BOTH: ♪ Come into my arms ♪ |
1240 | 01:16:39,834 | 01:16:43,291 | ♪ Bonnie Jean ♪♪ | ♪ Bonnie Jean ♪♪ |
1241 | 01:16:43,375 | 01:16:46,625 | (giggling) | (giggling) |
1242 | 01:16:47,875 | 01:16:49,917 | It's on! | It's on! |
1243 | 01:16:50,000 | 01:16:52,291 | BOTH: What's on? | BOTH: What's on? |
1244 | 01:16:52,375 | 01:16:54,458 | The wedding! | The wedding! |
1245 | 01:16:58,875 | 01:17:00,792 | Whoo-hoo! | Whoo-hoo! |
1246 | 01:17:03,792 | 01:17:07,083 | (sighs) Ah, I'm so glad the wedding is still on. | (sighs) Ah, I'm so glad the wedding is still on. |
1247 | 01:17:07,166 | 01:17:09,792 | I was so wrong about nerds. | I was so wrong about nerds. |
1248 | 01:17:09,875 | 01:17:12,333 | You know, we nerds believe in forgiveness. | You know, we nerds believe in forgiveness. |
1249 | 01:17:14,208 | 01:17:18,667 | It's unreal how much you remind me of my friend Bing. | It's unreal how much you remind me of my friend Bing. |
1250 | 01:17:21,166 | 01:17:24,417 | I've never met anyone quite like you, Lamar. | I've never met anyone quite like you, Lamar. |
1251 | 01:17:24,500 | 01:17:26,417 | (giggles) | (giggles) |
1252 | 01:17:26,500 | 01:17:28,250 | Well, I'll take that as a compliment. | Well, I'll take that as a compliment. |
1253 | 01:17:29,333 | 01:17:30,834 | It is. | It is. |
1254 | 01:17:44,041 | 01:17:46,208 | -Lewis. -Booger. | -Lewis. -Booger. |
1255 | 01:17:50,750 | 01:17:53,083 | I'm gonna marry Cathleen Turtletaub. | I'm gonna marry Cathleen Turtletaub. |
1256 | 01:17:54,792 | 01:17:57,667 | Who's Cathleen Turtletaub? | Who's Cathleen Turtletaub? |
1257 | 01:17:57,750 | 01:17:59,834 | Heidi's mother. | Heidi's mother. |
1258 | 01:17:59,917 | 01:18:03,333 | But you don't even know Cathleen Turtletaub. | But you don't even know Cathleen Turtletaub. |
1259 | 01:18:03,417 | 01:18:06,417 | I know, but it's the right thing to do. | I know, but it's the right thing to do. |
1260 | 01:18:17,583 | 01:18:19,542 | -(coughs) -(hisses) | -(coughs) -(hisses) |
1261 | 01:18:22,875 | 01:18:25,583 | This really isn't about Cathleen Turtletaub, is it? | This really isn't about Cathleen Turtletaub, is it? |
1262 | 01:18:29,041 | 01:18:31,250 | No, it isn't. | No, it isn't. |
1263 | 01:18:32,125 | 01:18:35,583 | This is about your zapatos becoming muy frío, no? | This is about your zapatos becoming muy frío, no? |
1264 | 01:18:36,083 | 01:18:39,375 | -Lewis. -Booger. | -Lewis. -Booger. |
1265 | 01:18:39,458 | 01:18:43,375 | I didn't go through with it with the stripper last night. | I didn't go through with it with the stripper last night. |
1266 | 01:18:43,458 | 01:18:46,917 | -Oh, yeah, we know. -How do you know? | -Oh, yeah, we know. -How do you know? |
1267 | 01:18:47,000 | 01:18:49,041 | (smacks lips) Well, we kind of figured it out | (smacks lips) Well, we kind of figured it out |
1268 | 01:18:49,125 | 01:18:52,208 | when we edited the videotape to ruin Chip's life. | when we edited the videotape to ruin Chip's life. |
1269 | 01:18:52,291 | 01:18:55,250 | Here I was passing up | Here I was passing up |
1270 | 01:18:55,333 | 01:18:58,834 | this mound of perfect. | this mound of perfect. |
1271 | 01:18:58,917 | 01:19:03,709 | I, who have never passed up anything in my life. | I, who have never passed up anything in my life. |
1272 | 01:19:03,792 | 01:19:07,875 | What is the matter with me, Lewis? | What is the matter with me, Lewis? |
1273 | 01:19:07,959 | 01:19:10,208 | Where has the Booger I have known | Where has the Booger I have known |
1274 | 01:19:10,291 | 01:19:13,583 | and loved... gone? | and loved... gone? |
1275 | 01:19:15,125 | 01:19:19,208 | (clock chiming) | (clock chiming) |
1276 | 01:19:22,834 | 01:19:24,500 | You ready? | You ready? |
1277 | 01:19:26,208 | 01:19:27,125 | Let's do it. | Let's do it. |
1278 | 01:19:27,208 | 01:19:28,291 | (glass hits table) | (glass hits table) |
1279 | 01:19:32,500 | 01:19:35,041 | Please be my valentine. | Please be my valentine. |
1280 | 01:19:35,125 | 01:19:39,208 | You haven't given me a valentine in 10 years and this is what you come up with? | You haven't given me a valentine in 10 years and this is what you come up with? |
1281 | 01:19:39,291 | 01:19:41,166 | Pathetic! | Pathetic! |
1282 | 01:19:44,792 | 01:19:46,834 | (nervous chuckle) | (nervous chuckle) |
1283 | 01:19:52,667 | 01:19:55,125 | (whimpers) | (whimpers) |
1284 | 01:19:55,208 | 01:19:58,667 | Aaron, Tippy, the food fight was a sensational idea! | Aaron, Tippy, the food fight was a sensational idea! |
1285 | 01:19:58,750 | 01:20:01,875 | I'm gonna use the nerd theme at my wedding. (guffaws) | I'm gonna use the nerd theme at my wedding. (guffaws) |
1286 | 01:20:04,542 | 01:20:05,875 | Mylan. | Mylan. |
1287 | 01:20:07,291 | 01:20:10,917 | I'm so sorry for all the trouble that you've experienced with this affair. | I'm so sorry for all the trouble that you've experienced with this affair. |
1288 | 01:20:11,000 | 01:20:13,125 | Thanks for coming to the wedding. | Thanks for coming to the wedding. |
1289 | 01:20:13,208 | 01:20:16,834 | I do not care to judge you, Aaron, on the basis of the hell I've been through. | I do not care to judge you, Aaron, on the basis of the hell I've been through. |
1290 | 01:20:16,917 | 01:20:19,625 | But I trust that it was merely a horrific aberration | But I trust that it was merely a horrific aberration |
1291 | 01:20:19,709 | 01:20:22,500 | and I expect the wedding to be quite different. | and I expect the wedding to be quite different. |
1292 | 01:20:26,041 | 01:20:28,041 | What? | What? |
1293 | 01:20:29,041 | 01:20:31,667 | Oh. | Oh. |
1294 | 01:20:31,750 | 01:20:33,709 | I, uh, trust that'll be enough. | I, uh, trust that'll be enough. |
1295 | 01:20:35,375 | 01:20:38,792 | Wouldn't have missed this wedding for the world. | Wouldn't have missed this wedding for the world. |
1296 | 01:20:38,875 | 01:20:41,792 | LEWIS: Everybody, stand aside! Make way for the groom! | LEWIS: Everybody, stand aside! Make way for the groom! |
1297 | 01:20:41,875 | 01:20:43,834 | (horn beeping) | (horn beeping) |
1298 | 01:20:43,917 | 01:20:46,583 | I would know that horn anywhere. | I would know that horn anywhere. |
1299 | 01:20:51,917 | 01:20:54,375 | -LEWIS: Dad! -U.N.! | -LEWIS: Dad! -U.N.! |
1300 | 01:20:54,458 | 01:20:57,208 | -Hey, how are you? -Hey! | -Hey, how are you? -Hey! |
1301 | 01:20:57,291 | 01:20:59,000 | -Congratulations. -Thank you. | -Congratulations. -Thank you. |
1302 | 01:20:59,083 | 01:21:01,959 | I wouldn't miss a nerd wedding for the world. | I wouldn't miss a nerd wedding for the world. |
1303 | 01:21:02,041 | 01:21:04,375 | -How are you? -Lewis, how are you? | -How are you? -Lewis, how are you? |
1304 | 01:21:04,458 | 01:21:07,375 | -How's my unborn grandson? -You mean your unborn fetal son? | -How's my unborn grandson? -You mean your unborn fetal son? |
1305 | 01:21:07,458 | 01:21:10,375 | (both guffawing) | (both guffawing) |
1306 | 01:21:10,458 | 01:21:12,375 | Emergency! Excuse, please. | Emergency! Excuse, please. |
1307 | 01:21:12,458 | 01:21:14,375 | The bishop has a kidney stone. | The bishop has a kidney stone. |
1308 | 01:21:14,458 | 01:21:16,667 | He no make it to wedding! | He no make it to wedding! |
1309 | 01:21:16,750 | 01:21:20,208 | Wha-how am I supposed to get married without a clergyman? | Wha-how am I supposed to get married without a clergyman? |
1310 | 01:21:20,291 | 01:21:23,166 | -I can marry you. -But I don't love you. | -I can marry you. -But I don't love you. |
1311 | 01:21:23,250 | 01:21:26,375 | Oh. No, no. I took a correspondence course. | Oh. No, no. I took a correspondence course. |
1312 | 01:21:26,458 | 01:21:28,750 | I'm a fully ordained Tilhoonian minister. | I'm a fully ordained Tilhoonian minister. |
1313 | 01:21:28,834 | 01:21:31,375 | -You are? -U.N. | -You are? -U.N. |
1314 | 01:21:31,458 | 01:21:33,291 | (guffawing) | (guffawing) |
1315 | 01:21:43,333 | 01:21:45,959 | (guffawing continues) | (guffawing continues) |
1316 | 01:21:48,250 | 01:21:52,125 | ♪♪ (wedding music) | ♪♪ (wedding music) |
1317 | 01:22:01,792 | 01:22:05,208 | -Hi, Dad. -Shh. (clears throat) | -Hi, Dad. -Shh. (clears throat) |
1318 | 01:22:05,291 | 01:22:07,208 | -♪♪ (organ) -Sorry. | -♪♪ (organ) -Sorry. |
1319 | 01:22:07,291 | 01:22:10,000 | ♪♪ ("Wedding March") | ♪♪ ("Wedding March") |
1320 | 01:22:13,875 | 01:22:17,709 | (guests murmuring) | (guests murmuring) |
1321 | 01:22:17,792 | 01:22:21,542 | -WOMAN #1: Oh, she's just beautiful. -WOMAN #2: Isn't she? | -WOMAN #1: Oh, she's just beautiful. -WOMAN #2: Isn't she? |
1322 | 01:22:21,625 | 01:22:25,208 | I've never seen a nerd wedding I didn't cry at. | I've never seen a nerd wedding I didn't cry at. |
1323 | 01:22:25,291 | 01:22:27,875 | This is just fabulous! (crying) | This is just fabulous! (crying) |
1324 | 01:22:27,959 | 01:22:29,792 | What a weenie. | What a weenie. |
1325 | 01:22:33,959 | 01:22:35,542 | (shutter clicks) | (shutter clicks) |
1326 | 01:22:35,625 | 01:22:37,625 | -(all sigh) -Doesn't she look gorgeous? | -(all sigh) -Doesn't she look gorgeous? |
1327 | 01:22:42,542 | 01:22:45,500 | (both crying) | (both crying) |
1328 | 01:22:55,083 | 01:22:57,500 | (alarm blaring) | (alarm blaring) |
1329 | 01:22:59,041 | 01:23:02,000 | Lewis? | Lewis? |
1330 | 01:23:03,542 | 01:23:06,792 | -Betty, you're having the baby! -Lewis! | -Betty, you're having the baby! -Lewis! |
1331 | 01:23:06,875 | 01:23:10,083 | -Oh. You're having the baby, honey. -Lewis. | -Oh. You're having the baby, honey. -Lewis. |
1332 | 01:23:10,166 | 01:23:13,959 | Booger, quick. You guys. Lamar! Quick, come here! | Booger, quick. You guys. Lamar! Quick, come here! |
1333 | 01:23:14,041 | 01:23:16,625 | LEWIS: Lamar. You guys. Booger. | LEWIS: Lamar. You guys. Booger. |
1334 | 01:23:16,709 | 01:23:18,333 | -Lamar, quick, hurry! -BOOGER: Don't panic! | -Lamar, quick, hurry! -BOOGER: Don't panic! |
1335 | 01:23:18,417 | 01:23:21,333 | Ogre. Ogre. We gotta carry her. | Ogre. Ogre. We gotta carry her. |
1336 | 01:23:21,417 | 01:23:23,458 | Okay. Okay, here we go. | Okay. Okay, here we go. |
1337 | 01:23:23,542 | 01:23:26,166 | -LEWIS: That's it. Careful. -Okay, I got her. | -LEWIS: That's it. Careful. -Okay, I got her. |
1338 | 01:23:26,250 | 01:23:29,792 | -Okay, Lewey! Where, Lewey? -Come on. Follow me. | -Okay, Lewey! Where, Lewey? -Come on. Follow me. |
1339 | 01:23:29,875 | 01:23:33,500 | -ALL: (chattering) -OGRE: Where, Lewey? | -ALL: (chattering) -OGRE: Where, Lewey? |
1340 | 01:23:33,583 | 01:23:36,333 | (alarm continues blaring) | (alarm continues blaring) |
1341 | 01:23:36,417 | 01:23:39,333 | (alarm stops) | (alarm stops) |
1342 | 01:23:39,417 | 01:23:42,542 | LEWIS: Ogre, here. Put her head right here in the chopped liver. | LEWIS: Ogre, here. Put her head right here in the chopped liver. |
1343 | 01:23:42,625 | 01:23:45,583 | -Lewis! -WOMAN: She need an ice pack? | -Lewis! -WOMAN: She need an ice pack? |
1344 | 01:23:47,125 | 01:23:49,500 | Betty, don't push. Don't push, Betty. | Betty, don't push. Don't push, Betty. |
1345 | 01:23:49,583 | 01:23:50,583 | (groans) | (groans) |
1346 | 01:23:51,792 | 01:23:53,500 | ALL (chanting): Betty, don't push. Betty, don't push. | ALL (chanting): Betty, don't push. Betty, don't push. |
1347 | 01:23:53,583 | 01:23:56,291 | -Lewis! -Betty, don't push! Betty, don't push! | -Lewis! -Betty, don't push! Betty, don't push! |
1348 | 01:23:56,375 | 01:23:58,834 | ALL (chanting): Eee-hee-hoo. | ALL (chanting): Eee-hee-hoo. |
1349 | 01:24:04,792 | 01:24:07,875 | Eee-hee-hoo! Eee-hee-hoo! | Eee-hee-hoo! Eee-hee-hoo! |
1350 | 01:24:07,959 | 01:24:10,500 | BOOGER: Heidi, where are you going? | BOOGER: Heidi, where are you going? |
1351 | 01:24:11,166 | 01:24:13,709 | I shouldn't be here. | I shouldn't be here. |
1352 | 01:24:13,792 | 01:24:16,375 | Of course you should be here. | Of course you should be here. |
1353 | 01:24:16,458 | 01:24:20,750 | I'm not really your daughter. Chip got me from an orphanage. | I'm not really your daughter. Chip got me from an orphanage. |
1354 | 01:24:23,667 | 01:24:27,709 | Chip got you in an orphanage? | Chip got you in an orphanage? |
1355 | 01:24:27,792 | 01:24:29,667 | (scoffs) | (scoffs) |
1356 | 01:24:31,291 | 01:24:33,375 | -You, um, -BETTY: (screaming) | -You, um, -BETTY: (screaming) |
1357 | 01:24:33,458 | 01:24:35,542 | rented an orphan? | rented an orphan? |
1358 | 01:24:35,625 | 01:24:38,583 | Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. | Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. |
1359 | 01:24:39,625 | 01:24:42,375 | And I've been under a lot of stress lately. | And I've been under a lot of stress lately. |
1360 | 01:24:42,458 | 01:24:44,667 | -I'm sorry. -(crying) | -I'm sorry. -(crying) |
1361 | 01:24:46,667 | 01:24:48,542 | Daddy, don't! Don't! | Daddy, don't! Don't! |
1362 | 01:24:48,625 | 01:24:49,583 | -(smack) -Ooh! | -(smack) -Ooh! |
1363 | 01:24:49,667 | 01:24:51,917 | -(grunts) -(chanting) Betty, don't push! | -(grunts) -(chanting) Betty, don't push! |
1364 | 01:24:52,000 | 01:24:54,875 | -(screams) -(chanting) Betty, don't scream! | -(screams) -(chanting) Betty, don't scream! |
1365 | 01:24:54,959 | 01:24:58,875 | -Get off our land. -(chanting continues) Betty, don't scream! | -Get off our land. -(chanting continues) Betty, don't scream! |
1366 | 01:24:58,959 | 01:25:01,917 | Aren't you forgetting something? | Aren't you forgetting something? |
1367 | 01:25:02,000 | 01:25:04,083 | The keys to the B.M.W. | The keys to the B.M.W. |
1368 | 01:25:04,166 | 01:25:06,291 | MAN: Cough 'em up. | MAN: Cough 'em up. |
1369 | 01:25:06,375 | 01:25:10,166 | -BETTY: (screaming) -Okay, honey! | -BETTY: (screaming) -Okay, honey! |
1370 | 01:25:13,333 | 01:25:17,667 | -BETTY: It's all your fault, Lewis! -You nerds did this to me. | -BETTY: It's all your fault, Lewis! -You nerds did this to me. |
1371 | 01:25:19,458 | 01:25:21,709 | But I'll get you... | But I'll get you... |
1372 | 01:25:21,792 | 01:25:25,250 | if it's the last thing I do! | if it's the last thing I do! |
1373 | 01:25:25,333 | 01:25:28,125 | -(grunting) -(laughing) | -(grunting) -(laughing) |
1374 | 01:25:28,208 | 01:25:31,083 | -Bye, Chip. -Hmph! | -Bye, Chip. -Hmph! |
1375 | 01:25:31,166 | 01:25:33,125 | MAN: Bye, Chip. (laughter) | MAN: Bye, Chip. (laughter) |
1376 | 01:25:33,208 | 01:25:35,875 | My next husband's going to be a nerd. | My next husband's going to be a nerd. |
1377 | 01:25:40,834 | 01:25:44,500 | I, uh--I would like to make an announcement. | I, uh--I would like to make an announcement. |
1378 | 01:25:44,583 | 01:25:47,250 | -(Betty screams) -I have, uh, | -(Betty screams) -I have, uh, |
1379 | 01:25:48,375 | 01:25:50,083 | been a jerk for this whole wedding. | been a jerk for this whole wedding. |
1380 | 01:25:50,166 | 01:25:53,166 | You certainly have. | You certainly have. |
1381 | 01:25:53,250 | 01:25:55,417 | Well, I've...I-I never been around a nerd before, | Well, I've...I-I never been around a nerd before, |
1382 | 01:25:55,500 | 01:25:58,291 | and I guess, uh-- | and I guess, uh-- |
1383 | 01:25:58,375 | 01:26:00,959 | well, I guess I judged a book by its cover. | well, I guess I judged a book by its cover. |
1384 | 01:26:01,041 | 01:26:04,333 | -(groaning) -Booger. | -(groaning) -Booger. |
1385 | 01:26:06,166 | 01:26:08,750 | I know you and my Jeanie are gonna be very happy together | I know you and my Jeanie are gonna be very happy together |
1386 | 01:26:08,834 | 01:26:11,834 | because you know what you are and you're proud of it. | because you know what you are and you're proud of it. |
1387 | 01:26:15,375 | 01:26:17,125 | Well, I'm, uh, | Well, I'm, uh, |
1388 | 01:26:17,208 | 01:26:20,041 | sick of trying to be something I'm not. | sick of trying to be something I'm not. |
1389 | 01:26:20,125 | 01:26:22,375 | Come on! Push, honey, push! Push! | Come on! Push, honey, push! Push! |
1390 | 01:26:22,458 | 01:26:24,041 | Tippy. | Tippy. |
1391 | 01:26:24,125 | 01:26:26,625 | NERDS (chanting): Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! | NERDS (chanting): Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! |
1392 | 01:26:26,709 | 01:26:30,000 | -I-- -Push, Betty, push! | -I-- -Push, Betty, push! |
1393 | 01:26:30,083 | 01:26:31,959 | I-- | I-- |
1394 | 01:26:34,458 | 01:26:36,792 | I am nouveau riche and I'm proud of it! | I am nouveau riche and I'm proud of it! |
1395 | 01:26:40,750 | 01:26:45,875 | Mylan, if who I am isn't good enough for the Republican party of this state, | Mylan, if who I am isn't good enough for the Republican party of this state, |
1396 | 01:26:45,959 | 01:26:48,000 | then to hell with the nomination! | then to hell with the nomination! |
1397 | 01:26:48,083 | 01:26:51,000 | -And that is the truth! -NERDS: Push, Betty, push! | -And that is the truth! -NERDS: Push, Betty, push! |
1398 | 01:26:51,083 | 01:26:54,000 | The nerds have brought my man back. | The nerds have brought my man back. |
1399 | 01:26:54,083 | 01:26:56,041 | WOMEN: Aw! | WOMEN: Aw! |
1400 | 01:26:56,125 | 01:26:58,166 | -(gasps) -(gasps) | -(gasps) -(gasps) |
1401 | 01:26:58,250 | 01:27:00,375 | -Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! -(screams) | -Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! -(screams) |
1402 | 01:27:00,458 | 01:27:03,709 | -Push, Betty, push! -Wow. | -Push, Betty, push! -Wow. |
1403 | 01:27:03,792 | 01:27:07,125 | Hey, hey, hey. Don't go. | Hey, hey, hey. Don't go. |
1404 | 01:27:12,458 | 01:27:15,542 | What would you say if I said | What would you say if I said |
1405 | 01:27:15,625 | 01:27:18,542 | we should adopt Heidi? | we should adopt Heidi? |
1406 | 01:27:18,625 | 01:27:20,542 | (Betty screams) | (Betty screams) |
1407 | 01:27:20,625 | 01:27:24,041 | I would say that I love you even more than I already do, | I would say that I love you even more than I already do, |
1408 | 01:27:24,125 | 01:27:26,792 | and I didn't think that was possible. | and I didn't think that was possible. |
1409 | 01:27:29,458 | 01:27:32,208 | You gave up what you wanted to tell the truth. | You gave up what you wanted to tell the truth. |
1410 | 01:27:32,291 | 01:27:34,917 | I really admire that quality in a person. | I really admire that quality in a person. |
1411 | 01:27:35,000 | 01:27:38,625 | Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! | Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! |
1412 | 01:27:38,709 | 01:27:42,542 | It's coming! It's coming, Betty! Come on. Push, honey, push! | It's coming! It's coming, Betty! Come on. Push, honey, push! |
1413 | 01:27:42,625 | 01:27:45,333 | -BETTY: (grunting) -(baby crying) | -BETTY: (grunting) -(baby crying) |
1414 | 01:27:47,834 | 01:27:50,959 | (crying continues) | (crying continues) |
1415 | 01:27:51,041 | 01:27:54,750 | Oh. Oh, it's so beautiful. | Oh. Oh, it's so beautiful. |
1416 | 01:27:54,834 | 01:27:57,709 | Our son is born. | Our son is born. |
1417 | 01:27:57,792 | 01:28:00,041 | Kunta Skolnick! | Kunta Skolnick! |
1418 | 01:28:08,166 | 01:28:10,458 | Behold the nerd child. | Behold the nerd child. |
1419 | 01:28:15,000 | 01:28:19,000 | I see before me two souls who desire to be joined together. | I see before me two souls who desire to be joined together. |
1420 | 01:28:19,083 | 01:28:21,166 | There's no greater challenge in life, | There's no greater challenge in life, |
1421 | 01:28:21,250 | 01:28:25,417 | and also, no greater reward. (guffaws) | and also, no greater reward. (guffaws) |
1422 | 01:28:25,500 | 01:28:28,166 | (crying) | (crying) |
1423 | 01:28:30,417 | 01:28:34,583 | Do you, Dudley Dawson, take this woman, Jean Lagarde Humphrey, | Do you, Dudley Dawson, take this woman, Jean Lagarde Humphrey, |
1424 | 01:28:34,667 | 01:28:36,542 | to be your lawful wife? | to be your lawful wife? |
1425 | 01:28:38,083 | 01:28:41,125 | Before I answer that, I just want to say | Before I answer that, I just want to say |
1426 | 01:28:41,208 | 01:28:43,250 | this is the happiest moment of my life. | this is the happiest moment of my life. |
1427 | 01:28:47,417 | 01:28:48,875 | I do. | I do. |
1428 | 01:28:50,083 | 01:28:52,500 | And do you, Jean Lagarde Humphrey, take this man, Dudley Dawson, | And do you, Jean Lagarde Humphrey, take this man, Dudley Dawson, |
1429 | 01:28:52,583 | 01:28:54,583 | to be your lawfully wedded husband? | to be your lawfully wedded husband? |
1430 | 01:28:54,667 | 01:28:56,542 | Excuse me. | Excuse me. |
1431 | 01:28:58,375 | 01:29:01,625 | I'm going to love you till the end of time. | I'm going to love you till the end of time. |
1432 | 01:29:01,709 | 01:29:04,875 | NERDS: (crying) | NERDS: (crying) |
1433 | 01:29:04,959 | 01:29:08,667 | -I do. -Then with the power invested in me | -I do. -Then with the power invested in me |
1434 | 01:29:08,750 | 01:29:12,667 | by the Tilhoon Institute of Home Learning Church, | by the Tilhoon Institute of Home Learning Church, |
1435 | 01:29:12,750 | 01:29:15,250 | I now pronounce you husband and wife. | I now pronounce you husband and wife. |
1436 | 01:29:21,709 | 01:29:23,792 | (guffaws) | (guffaws) |
1437 | 01:29:25,542 | 01:29:27,625 | Ohh! | Ohh! |
1438 | 01:29:34,542 | 01:29:38,333 | Nerds forever! Forever nerds! | Nerds forever! Forever nerds! |
1439 | 01:29:38,417 | 01:29:42,208 | Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! | Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! |
1440 | 01:29:42,291 | 01:29:46,083 | GUESTS (chanting): Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! | GUESTS (chanting): Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! |
1441 | 01:29:46,166 | 01:29:49,125 | ♪♪ (dance rock) | ♪♪ (dance rock) |
1442 | 01:29:53,083 | 01:29:56,458 | ♪♪ (singing in Japanese) | ♪♪ (singing in Japanese) |
1443 | 01:29:57,750 | 01:30:04,792 | ♪♪ (continues singing in Japanese) | ♪♪ (continues singing in Japanese) |
1444 | 01:30:06,792 | 01:30:11,667 | -♪♪ -(cheering, laughing) | -♪♪ -(cheering, laughing) |
1445 | 01:30:15,291 | 01:30:17,583 | Ooh, ooh, ooh. (laughing) | Ooh, ooh, ooh. (laughing) |
1446 | 01:30:23,333 | 01:30:25,959 | Oh, Aaron. | Oh, Aaron. |
1447 | 01:30:26,834 | 01:30:28,834 | (singing in Japanese) | (singing in Japanese) |
1448 | 01:30:30,792 | 01:30:35,458 | TAKASHI: (continues singing in Japanese) | TAKASHI: (continues singing in Japanese) |
1449 | 01:30:47,500 | 01:30:51,417 | ♪♪ | ♪♪ |
1450 | 01:30:51,500 | 01:30:52,709 | Woo! | Woo! |
1451 | 01:30:54,500 | 01:30:55,834 | Ya-hee! | Ya-hee! |
1452 | 01:30:57,333 | 01:30:58,333 | (laughing) | (laughing) |
1453 | 01:30:59,667 | 01:31:03,166 | -(cheering) -Muah! | -(cheering) -Muah! |
1454 | 01:31:05,500 | 01:31:09,792 | ♪♪ (continues in Japanese) | ♪♪ (continues in Japanese) |
1455 | 01:31:09,875 | 01:31:14,125 | TAKASHI (in English): ♪ Darling, I love you ♪ | TAKASHI (in English): ♪ Darling, I love you ♪ |
1456 | 01:31:14,208 | 01:31:17,125 | ♪ Oh, darling ♪ | ♪ Oh, darling ♪ |
1457 | 01:31:17,208 | 01:31:19,250 | ♪ Darling, I love you ♪ | ♪ Darling, I love you ♪ |
1458 | 01:31:19,333 | 01:31:21,583 | ♪ Love you ♪ | ♪ Love you ♪ |
1459 | 01:31:22,542 | 01:31:27,417 | ♪ Darling ♪ | ♪ Darling ♪ |
1460 | 01:31:27,500 | 01:31:31,250 | -(music stops) -(applauding, cheering) | -(music stops) -(applauding, cheering) |
1461 | 01:31:31,333 | 01:31:34,208 | Lewis, thanks for everything. | Lewis, thanks for everything. |
1462 | 01:31:36,375 | 01:31:38,542 | It's gonna be a great year. | It's gonna be a great year. |
1463 | 01:31:40,250 | 01:31:43,333 | (all guffawing) | (all guffawing) |
1464 | 01:31:47,917 | 01:31:49,834 | (chattering) | (chattering) |
1465 | 01:31:49,917 | 01:31:51,709 | Enhanced by Point.360 | Enhanced by Point.360 |