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1 00:00:09,202 00:00:10,018 RED vs. BLUE RED vs. BLUE
2 00:01:21,744 00:01:24,673 SEASON ONE SEASON ONE
3 00:01:33,725 00:01:34,225 Hey. Hey.
4 00:01:34,934 00:01:35,171 Yeah? Yeah?
5 00:01:35,398 00:01:37,170 You ever wonder why we're here? You ever wonder why we're here?
6 00:01:37,724 00:01:38,724 It's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it. It's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it.
7 00:01:38,737 00:01:39,747 Why are we here? Why are we here?
8 00:01:42,302 00:01:46,823 I mean, are we the product of... some cosmic coincidence or, is I mean, are we the product of... some cosmic coincidence or, is
9 00:01:46,824 00:01:50,720 there really a God... watching everything? You know, with a plan there really a God... watching everything? You know, with a plan
10 00:01:50,721 00:01:55,326 for us and stuff. I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night. for us and stuff. I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night.
11 00:01:55,783 00:01:57,516 ... ...
12 00:01:57,742 00:01:59,330 ... ...
13 00:01:59,791 00:02:02,107 What? I meant why are we out here, in this canyon? What? I meant why are we out here, in this canyon?
14 00:02:02,524 00:02:05,525 Oh, uh... yeah. Oh, uh... yeah.
15 00:02:06,124 00:02:07,485 What was all that stuff about God? What was all that stuff about God?
16 00:02:07,681 00:02:09,637 Uh... hm? Nothing. Uh... hm? Nothing.
17 00:02:09,839 00:02:11,682 You wanna talk about it? You wanna talk about it?
18 00:02:11,775 00:02:12,275 No No
19 00:02:12,507 00:02:13,202 You sure? You sure?
20 00:02:13,742 00:02:14,242 Yeah. Yeah.
21 00:02:14,954 00:02:17,919 Seriously though, why are we out here? Far as I can tell, it's Seriously though, why are we out here? Far as I can tell, it's
22 00:02:17,945 00:02:21,097 just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere, with no way in or out. just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere, with no way in or out.
23 00:02:21,495 00:02:21,995 Mhm. Mhm.
24 00:02:22,264 00:02:24,209 And the only reason that we set up a red base here, And the only reason that we set up a red base here,
25 00:02:24,222 00:02:26,178 is because they have a blue base over there. is because they have a blue base over there.
26 00:02:26,204 00:02:27,988 And the only reason they have a blue base over And the only reason they have a blue base over
27 00:02:28,001 00:02:29,795 there is because we have a red base here. there is because we have a red base here.
28 00:02:30,033 00:02:32,028 Yeah, that's because we're fighting each other. Yeah, that's because we're fighting each other.
29 00:02:32,514 00:02:36,355 No no, but I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and they were to come take our No no, but I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and they were to come take our
30 00:02:36,381 00:02:38,267 base, they would have two bases in the base, they would have two bases in the
31 00:02:38,280 00:02:40,176 middle of a box canyon. Whoop de fucking do! middle of a box canyon. Whoop de fucking do!
32 00:02:40,477 00:02:42,678 What's up with that anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight What's up with that anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight
33 00:02:42,695 00:02:44,615 some aliens. Next thing I know Master Chief blows some aliens. Next thing I know Master Chief blows
34 00:02:44,618 00:02:46,579 up the whole Covenant armada, and I'm stuck in the up the whole Covenant armada, and I'm stuck in the
35 00:02:46,605 00:02:50,732 middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of blue guys. middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of blue guys.
36 00:02:54,445 00:02:55,247 What're they doing? What're they doing?
37 00:02:55,857 00:02:56,668 What? What?
38 00:02:57,353 00:02:58,564 I said what're they doing now? I said what're they doing now?
39 00:02:58,890 00:03:01,933 God damn, I'm getting so sick of answering that question! God damn, I'm getting so sick of answering that question!
40 00:03:02,171 00:03:04,314 Hey you have the fucking rifle, I can't see shit. Don't bitch at Hey you have the fucking rifle, I can't see shit. Don't bitch at
41 00:03:04,315 00:03:06,370 me because I'm not going to just sit up here and play with my dick me because I'm not going to just sit up here and play with my dick
42 00:03:06,815 00:03:10,632 Okay, okay look: They're just standing there, and talking, okay? Okay, okay look: They're just standing there, and talking, okay?
43 00:03:11,629 00:03:12,683 That's all they're doing. That's all That's all they're doing. That's all
44 00:03:12,684 00:03:15,505 they ever do, is just stand there and talk. they ever do, is just stand there and talk.
45 00:03:15,506 00:03:18,121 That's what they were doing last week, that's what they That's what they were doing last week, that's what they
46 00:03:18,122 00:03:19,966 were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. were doing when you asked me five minutes ago.
47 00:03:20,114 00:03:23,930 So five minutes from now, when you ask me "What're they So five minutes from now, when you ask me "What're they
48 00:03:23,931 00:03:27,310 doing?" my answer's gonna be "They're still just doing?" my answer's gonna be "They're still just
49 00:03:27,311 00:03:29,921 talking, and they're still just standing there!" talking, and they're still just standing there!"
50 00:03:31,501 00:03:34,524 ...What're they talking about? ...What're they talking about?
51 00:03:35,622 00:03:38,981 You know what? I fucking hate you. You know what? I fucking hate you.
52 00:03:39,740 00:03:42,914 Talk about a waste of resources. I mean, we should be out there Talk about a waste of resources. I mean, we should be out there
53 00:03:42,940 00:03:46,163 finding new and intelligent forms of life. You know, fight them. finding new and intelligent forms of life. You know, fight them.
54 00:03:46,317 00:03:48,932 Yeah, no shit. That's why they should put us in charge. Yeah, no shit. That's why they should put us in charge.
55 00:03:49,205 00:03:51,801 Ladies! Front and center, on the double! Ladies! Front and center, on the double!
56 00:03:52,364 00:03:53,370 Fuck Fuck
57 00:03:53,537 00:03:54,037 Yes sir! Yes sir!
58 00:03:54,593 00:03:57,965 Hurry up ladies, this ain't no ice cream social! Hurry up ladies, this ain't no ice cream social!
59 00:03:58,433 00:03:59,843 Ice cream social? Ice cream social?
60 00:04:00,358 00:04:08,329 Stop the pillow-talk you two. Anyone want to guess, why I gathered you here, today? Stop the pillow-talk you two. Anyone want to guess, why I gathered you here, today?
61 00:04:09,147 00:04:11,805 Um, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home? Um, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?
62 00:04:12,323 00:04:16,295 That's exactly it, private. War's over. We won. That's exactly it, private. War's over. We won.
63 00:04:16,308 00:04:20,291 Turns out you're the big hero, and we're gonna Turns out you're the big hero, and we're gonna
64 00:04:20,292 00:04:24,097 hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the
65 00:04:24,123 00:04:28,165 float, and Simmons here, is in charge of CONFETTI float, and Simmons here, is in charge of CONFETTI
66 00:04:28,746 00:04:30,148 I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir. I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir.
67 00:04:30,633 00:04:33,449 God dammit private, shut your mouth or else I'll God dammit private, shut your mouth or else I'll
68 00:04:33,462 00:04:36,288 have Simmons slit your throat while you're asleep! have Simmons slit your throat while you're asleep!
69 00:04:36,519 00:04:38,028 Oh, I'd do it too. Oh, I'd do it too.
70 00:04:38,232 00:04:44,566 I know you would Simmons... good man. Couple of things today, ladies: I know you would Simmons... good man. Couple of things today, ladies:
71 00:04:44,567 00:04:49,538 Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number 1. Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number 1.
72 00:04:50,135 00:04:52,119 Crap, we're getting a rookie. Crap, we're getting a rookie.
73 00:04:52,740 00:04:58,780 That's right dead man. Our new recruit will be here within the week. But today, we That's right dead man. Our new recruit will be here within the week. But today, we
74 00:04:58,781 00:05:02,328 received the first part of our shipment from Command. received the first part of our shipment from Command.
75 00:05:02,341 00:05:05,898 Lopez... bring up the vehicle. Lopez... bring up the vehicle.
76 00:05:10,327 00:05:10,748 Shotgun! Shotgun!
77 00:05:10,749 00:05:11,823 Shotgun! Fuck! Shotgun! Fuck!
78 00:05:12,488 00:05:16,554 May I introduce, our new light reconnaissance vehicle. It has May I introduce, our new light reconnaissance vehicle. It has
79 00:05:16,580 00:05:21,832 four inch armor plating, maaag buffer suspension, a mounted four inch armor plating, maaag buffer suspension, a mounted
80 00:05:21,833 00:05:25,624 machine gunner position, and total seating for three. machine gunner position, and total seating for three.
81 00:05:25,650 00:05:33,309 Gentlemen, this is the M12-LRV! I like to call it the Warthog. Gentlemen, this is the M12-LRV! I like to call it the Warthog.
82 00:05:34,013 00:05:35,128 Why 'Warthog' sir? Why 'Warthog' sir?
83 00:05:35,516 00:05:39,938 Because M12-LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son. Because M12-LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son.
84 00:05:40,545 00:05:44,787 No, but... why 'Warthog'? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig... No, but... why 'Warthog'? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig...
85 00:05:45,407 00:05:46,262 Say that again? Say that again?
86 00:05:46,630 00:05:48,109 I think it looks more like a puma. I think it looks more like a puma.
87 00:05:48,842 00:05:50,134 What in sam hell is a puma? What in sam hell is a puma?
88 00:05:50,770 00:05:52,250 Uh... you mean like the shoe company? Uh... you mean like the shoe company?
89 00:05:52,801 00:05:56,207 No, like a puma. It's a big cat. Like a lion. No, like a puma. It's a big cat. Like a lion.
90 00:05:57,010 00:05:58,087 You're making that up. You're making that up.
91 00:05:58,626 00:06:00,264 I'm telling you, it's a real animal! I'm telling you, it's a real animal!
92 00:06:00,856 00:06:03,604 Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal. Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal.
93 00:06:04,085 00:06:04,585 Yes sir! Yes sir!
94 00:06:04,926 00:06:08,914 Look, see these two tow hooks? They look like tusks. Look, see these two tow hooks? They look like tusks.
95 00:06:08,927 00:06:12,926 And what kind of animal has tusks? And what kind of animal has tusks?
96 00:06:13,537 00:06:14,557 A walrus. A walrus.
97 00:06:15,272 00:06:17,498 Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals? Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?
98 00:06:20,179 00:06:21,193 What is that thing? What is that thing?
99 00:06:21,577 00:06:24,058 I don't know, but it looks like uh... looks like they got some I don't know, but it looks like uh... looks like they got some
100 00:06:24,084 00:06:26,682 kinda car down there. We'd better get back to base and report it. kinda car down there. We'd better get back to base and report it.
101 00:06:26,867 00:06:28,199 A car? How come they get a car? A car? How come they get a car?
102 00:06:28,574 00:06:32,858 What are you complaining about man? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop. What are you complaining about man? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop.
103 00:06:33,286 00:06:34,686 You can't pick up chicks in a tank. You can't pick up chicks in a tank.
104 00:06:35,641 00:06:38,771 Oh, you know what, you could bitch about anything, couldn't you. Oh, you know what, you could bitch about anything, couldn't you.
105 00:06:38,797 00:06:41,540 We're gonna get a tank, and you're worried about chicks. We're gonna get a tank, and you're worried about chicks.
106 00:06:42,121 00:06:45,125 What chicks are we gonna pick up man!? For in.., and secondly, how What chicks are we gonna pick up man!? For in.., and secondly, how
107 00:06:45,138 00:06:48,152 are we gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that? are we gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?
108 00:06:48,686 00:06:49,878 Well what kind of car is it? Well what kind of car is it?
109 00:06:49,879 00:06:52,456 I don't know, I've never seen a car that looks like that I don't know, I've never seen a car that looks like that
110 00:06:52,469 00:06:55,056 before, it looks like a uh... like a big cat of some kind. before, it looks like a uh... like a big cat of some kind.
111 00:06:57,241 00:06:58,133 ...what, like a puma? ...what, like a puma?
112 00:06:58,364 00:06:58,850 Yeah man, there ya go. Yeah man, there ya go.
113 00:06:58,851 00:07:03,019 So unless anybody else has any more mythical creatures to suggest as a name So unless anybody else has any more mythical creatures to suggest as a name
114 00:07:03,485 00:07:09,316 for the new vehicle, we're gonna stick with 'the Warthog'. How about it Grif? for the new vehicle, we're gonna stick with 'the Warthog'. How about it Grif?
115 00:07:09,751 00:07:11,493 No sir, no more suggestions. No sir, no more suggestions.
116 00:07:11,494 00:07:14,069 Are you sure? How 'bout Bigfoot? Are you sure? How 'bout Bigfoot?
117 00:07:14,340 00:07:14,929 That's okay. That's okay.
118 00:07:15,371 00:07:15,871 Unicorn? Unicorn?
119 00:07:16,135 00:07:18,303 No really, I'm... I'm cool. No really, I'm... I'm cool.
120 00:07:18,591 00:07:19,188 Sasquatch? Sasquatch?
121 00:07:19,581 00:07:20,453 Leprechaun? Leprechaun?
122 00:07:20,454 00:07:22,055 Hey, he doesn't need any help man... Hey, he doesn't need any help man...
123 00:07:22,736 00:07:23,376 Phoenix! Phoenix!
124 00:07:23,627 00:07:25,247 Huh... Christ. Huh... Christ.
125 00:07:25,248 00:07:29,494 Hey Simmons, what's the name of that Mexican lizard, eats all the goats? Hey Simmons, what's the name of that Mexican lizard, eats all the goats?
126 00:07:29,854 00:07:31,463 Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, sir! Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, sir!
127 00:07:31,589 00:07:37,117 Hey Grif! Chupathingie, how 'bout that? I like it! Got a ring to it... Hey Grif! Chupathingie, how 'bout that? I like it! Got a ring to it...
128 00:07:41,190 00:07:42,670 Hey that's not exactly what happened. Hey that's not exactly what happened.
129 00:07:42,758 00:07:45,731 Yes it is. You said "I'm not going to the Vegas Quadrant," and Yes it is. You said "I'm not going to the Vegas Quadrant," and
130 00:07:45,744 00:07:48,728 then the next thing I know you're in an escape pod headed for- then the next thing I know you're in an escape pod headed for-
131 00:07:48,729 00:07:50,017 Excuse me uh, sirs. Excuse me uh, sirs.
132 00:07:50,495 00:07:51,095 Sirs? Sirs?
133 00:07:51,346 00:07:52,059 Ah crap. Ah crap.
134 00:07:52,382 00:07:54,236 I was told to report to Blood Gulch Outpost I was told to report to Blood Gulch Outpost
135 00:07:54,249 00:07:56,113 Number One and speak to whoever's in charge? Number One and speak to whoever's in charge?
136 00:07:56,272 00:07:58,182 Sorry man, Sarge is at Command getting orders. Sorry man, Sarge is at Command getting orders.
137 00:07:58,195 00:08:00,115 Ain't nobody in charge today. Ain't nobody in charge today.
138 00:08:00,294 00:08:03,376 Actually private, he left me in charge while he's gone. Actually private, he left me in charge while he's gone.
139 00:08:03,683 00:08:05,330 You are such a kiss-ass. You are such a kiss-ass.
140 00:08:05,495 00:08:09,483 Also, he told me if I had any trouble from you I should... Also, he told me if I had any trouble from you I should...
141 00:08:09,496 00:08:13,495 "Git in the Warthog, 'nd crush yer head like a tomato-can." "Git in the Warthog, 'nd crush yer head like a tomato-can."
142 00:08:16,681 00:08:18,772 That's the worst impression I've ever heard. That's the worst impression I've ever heard.
143 00:08:19,015 00:08:20,881 Okay rookie, what's your story? Okay rookie, what's your story?
144 00:08:21,042 00:08:24,381 Private Donut reporting for duty, sir. I'm ready to fight some aliens. Private Donut reporting for duty, sir. I'm ready to fight some aliens.
145 00:08:24,852 00:08:28,380 Couple things here, rookie. First off, private Donut? I think Couple things here, rookie. First off, private Donut? I think
146 00:08:28,393 00:08:31,932 somebody needs a new nickname. Secondly, what's with the armor color? somebody needs a new nickname. Secondly, what's with the armor color?
147 00:08:32,338 00:08:33,991 This is the standard issue red. This is the standard issue red.
148 00:08:34,170 00:08:36,102 Yeah, I know. Listen. Yeah, I know. Listen.
149 00:08:36,128 00:08:39,468 Only two kinds of people wear standard issue armor: officers and recruits. Only two kinds of people wear standard issue armor: officers and recruits.
150 00:08:39,468 00:08:43,416 And since you're not threatening to gut me like a fish, you're probably not an officer. And since you're not threatening to gut me like a fish, you're probably not an officer.
151 00:08:43,416 00:08:44,940 Well, he's wearing red armor... Well, he's wearing red armor...
152 00:08:45,313 00:08:49,469 No, my armor is maroon. Your armor is red. No, my armor is maroon. Your armor is red.
153 00:08:49,470 00:08:51,190 Well, how do I get a different color armor? Well, how do I get a different color armor?
154 00:08:51,752 00:08:54,165 I bet the blues don't have to put up with this kind of crap. I bet the blues don't have to put up with this kind of crap.
155 00:08:55,124 00:08:59,062 So I say to the guy, "how're you gonna get the tank down to So I say to the guy, "how're you gonna get the tank down to
156 00:08:59,075 00:09:03,023 the planet?" And he goes, "I'll just put it on the ship" the planet?" And he goes, "I'll just put it on the ship"
157 00:09:03,024 00:09:07,012 and I go, "if you've got a ship that can carry a tank, and I go, "if you've got a ship that can carry a tank,
158 00:09:07,025 00:09:11,024 why not just put guns on the ship and use it instead?" why not just put guns on the ship and use it instead?"
159 00:09:11,888 00:09:13,118 Hey kid. Hey kid.
160 00:09:13,119 00:09:15,555 You're ruining the moment. Shut up. You're ruining the moment. Shut up.
161 00:09:15,731 00:09:19,300 Oh. Okay. You got it man! Oh. Okay. You got it man!
162 00:09:19,990 00:09:24,491 You know what? I could blow up the whole God damn world with this thing. You know what? I could blow up the whole God damn world with this thing.
163 00:09:25,389 00:09:27,556 Okay, Private Donut, here's the deal. Okay, Private Donut, here's the deal.
164 00:09:27,557 00:09:30,428 I just refuse to call him Private Donut! I just refuse to call him Private Donut!
165 00:09:30,429 00:09:33,962 We've got a very important mission for you. You think you can handle it? We've got a very important mission for you. You think you can handle it?
166 00:09:33,963 00:09:34,778 Absolutely! Absolutely!
167 00:09:34,966 00:09:38,804 We need you to go to the store, and get two quarts of Elbow Grease. We need you to go to the store, and get two quarts of Elbow Grease.
168 00:09:39,536 00:09:42,940 Yeah and um, pick up some Headlight Fluid for the Puma too. Yeah and um, pick up some Headlight Fluid for the Puma too.
169 00:09:43,271 00:09:44,054 The what? The what?
170 00:09:44,280 00:09:45,120 He means the Warthog. He means the Warthog.
171 00:09:45,230 00:09:47,284 You do know where the store is, right rookie? You do know where the store is, right rookie?
172 00:09:47,427 00:09:51,383 What? Yeah, yeah, of course I do. Sure, no problem. What? Yeah, yeah, of course I do. Sure, no problem.
173 00:09:51,498 00:09:53,138 Well, get going then. Well, get going then.
174 00:09:55,236 00:09:56,114 Other way. Other way.
175 00:09:56,115 00:09:58,269 I knew that. Just, got turned around, that's all. I knew that. Just, got turned around, that's all.
176 00:10:01,362 00:10:03,722 How long do you think until he figures out there's no store? How long do you think until he figures out there's no store?
177 00:10:03,931 00:10:05,274 I say, at least a week. I say, at least a week.
178 00:10:08,085 00:10:11,294 Elbow Grease, how stupid do they think I am? Once I get back to Elbow Grease, how stupid do they think I am? Once I get back to
179 00:10:11,307 00:10:14,526 base with that Headlight Fluid, I'm gonna talk to the Sargeant. base with that Headlight Fluid, I'm gonna talk to the Sargeant.
180 00:10:14,849 00:10:18,264 You know what? Forget what I said before. We can definitely pick You know what? Forget what I said before. We can definitely pick
181 00:10:18,277 00:10:21,703 up chicks in this thing. Probably two or three chicks a piece. up chicks in this thing. Probably two or three chicks a piece.
182 00:10:22,297 00:10:26,179 Oh man, listen to you. What're you gonna do with two chicks? Oh man, listen to you. What're you gonna do with two chicks?
183 00:10:26,416 00:10:30,492 Church, women are like Voltron. The more you can hook up, the better it gets. Church, women are like Voltron. The more you can hook up, the better it gets.
184 00:10:31,175 00:10:32,919 You think that we were too mean to the kid? You think that we were too mean to the kid?
185 00:10:33,481 00:10:35,369 Nah, he'll just wander around on the cliffs for a few hours. Nah, he'll just wander around on the cliffs for a few hours.
186 00:10:35,382 00:10:37,281 What's the worst that could happen? What's the worst that could happen?
187 00:10:37,989 00:10:42,089 Finally, there it is. OH SWEET, THEY SELL TANKS! Finally, there it is. OH SWEET, THEY SELL TANKS!
188 00:10:42,779 00:10:45,018 Yeah I'll let you in on a little secret, I've uh... Yeah I'll let you in on a little secret, I've uh...
189 00:10:45,031 00:10:47,280 I've actually got a girl back home. I've actually got a girl back home.
190 00:10:47,740 00:10:49,251 Oh yeah? Girlfriend or wife? Oh yeah? Girlfriend or wife?
191 00:10:49,341 00:10:53,279 No, man, she's just my girlfriend, ya know? We were gonna get No, man, she's just my girlfriend, ya know? We were gonna get
192 00:10:53,292 00:10:57,241 married, but I got shipped out, and... ah, you know how it works. married, but I got shipped out, and... ah, you know how it works.
193 00:10:57,332 00:10:59,632 Oh, well, you gonna marry her when you get back? Oh, well, you gonna marry her when you get back?
194 00:10:59,690 00:11:02,458 I'm not gonna get married. My dad always said I'm not gonna get married. My dad always said
195 00:11:02,471 00:11:05,250 "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
196 00:11:05,352 00:11:09,660 Hey rookie... did you just call my girlfriend a cow? Hey rookie... did you just call my girlfriend a cow?
197 00:11:09,661 00:11:11,320 No, I think he called her a slut! No, I think he called her a slut!
198 00:11:11,574 00:11:15,744 I'll tell you what newb, I could sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend I'll tell you what newb, I could sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend
199 00:11:15,745 00:11:20,853 all day long, but as it turns out, I got a lot more important job for you to do. all day long, but as it turns out, I got a lot more important job for you to do.
200 00:11:20,979 00:11:21,650 Great. Great.
201 00:11:21,651 00:11:23,903 See, we've got this General. See, we've got this General.
202 00:11:23,904 00:11:25,995 Right, the general guy. Right, the general guy.
203 00:11:26,166 00:11:29,634 Who likes to come by and make random inspections of bases. Who likes to come by and make random inspections of bases.
204 00:11:29,647 00:11:33,126 So what I'm gonna have you do, is I'm gonna have So what I'm gonna have you do, is I'm gonna have
205 00:11:33,127 00:11:35,401 you go in the base, and stand right next to the flag you go in the base, and stand right next to the flag
206 00:11:35,402 00:11:38,123 at attention, just in case he decides to come by. at attention, just in case he decides to come by.
207 00:11:38,350 00:11:39,786 When is he coming by? When is he coming by?
208 00:11:39,787 00:11:43,246 We never know. Could be today, could be a week from now. We never know. Could be today, could be a week from now.
209 00:11:43,344 00:11:45,815 You want me to stand at attention for a week? You want me to stand at attention for a week?
210 00:11:46,020 00:11:49,530 You know, you don't sound very grateful. This is the most important You know, you don't sound very grateful. This is the most important
211 00:11:49,531 00:11:53,051 job at the whole base. You're gonna be right there with the flag. job at the whole base. You're gonna be right there with the flag.
212 00:11:53,552 00:11:55,405 What's so important about the flag? What's so important about the flag?
213 00:11:55,500 00:11:59,094 Oh, come on, don't they teach you guys anything in training? Oh, come on, don't they teach you guys anything in training?
214 00:11:59,246 00:12:03,069 They didn't tell us anything about a flag. Why is it so important? They didn't tell us anything about a flag. Why is it so important?
215 00:12:03,163 00:12:05,412 Because it's the flag, man, you know, it's the f... Because it's the flag, man, you know, it's the f...
216 00:12:05,425 00:12:07,685 it's the flag, it's... it's the flag, it's...
217 00:12:07,686 00:12:11,252 Tucker, you tell him why the flag is so important. Tucker, you tell him why the flag is so important.
218 00:12:11,327 00:12:18,513 Well, it's... it's complicated. Wuh... It's blue, we're blue Well, it's... it's complicated. Wuh... It's blue, we're blue
219 00:12:18,802 00:12:23,250 It's just important, okay, trust us. So when the General comes It's just important, okay, trust us. So when the General comes
220 00:12:23,251 00:12:25,896 by, the first thing he's gonna want to do is inspect the flag. by, the first thing he's gonna want to do is inspect the flag.
221 00:12:26,195 00:12:26,811 Right. Right.
222 00:12:26,952 00:12:32,851 So just go in there, you know, far away from us, and wait for him. So just go in there, you know, far away from us, and wait for him.
223 00:12:35,655 00:12:37,263 Uh how will I know when I see him? Uh how will I know when I see him?
224 00:12:37,494 00:12:39,834 There's only three of us out here, rookie. He's There's only three of us out here, rookie. He's
225 00:12:39,835 00:12:41,880 gonna be the guy that doesn't look like one of us. gonna be the guy that doesn't look like one of us.
226 00:12:42,269 00:12:44,248 Now get in there, and don't come out! Now get in there, and don't come out!
227 00:12:45,551 00:12:47,926 Man, that guy is dumber than you are. Man, that guy is dumber than you are.
228 00:12:48,066 00:12:50,485 You mean he's dumber than you are. You mean he's dumber than you are.
229 00:12:50,585 00:12:53,860 Wow, Tucker, that was a great come-back. Wow, Tucker, that was a great come-back.
230 00:12:54,502 00:12:56,845 Uh, mister Church? Sir? Uh, mister Church? Sir?
231 00:12:57,235 00:13:01,358 Oh my God, WHAT!? Tucker, I swear, I'm gonna kill him! Oh my God, WHAT!? Tucker, I swear, I'm gonna kill him!
232 00:13:01,532 00:13:04,504 Sorry about calling your girl a slut... Sorry about calling your girl a slut...
233 00:13:04,747 00:13:10,079 ROOKIE! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY, GET IN THERE! ROOKIE! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY, GET IN THERE!
234 00:13:10,229 00:13:11,873 Uh-huh huh huh huh Uh-huh huh huh huh
235 00:13:12,220 00:13:14,001 Tucker, are you laughing at me? Tucker, are you laughing at me?
236 00:13:14,049 00:13:16,783 Excuse me, sir, can I ask you a question? Excuse me, sir, can I ask you a question?
237 00:13:16,784 00:13:23,421 Dear God in Heaven, rookie, if I turn around, and you are not inside, I... Dear God in Heaven, rookie, if I turn around, and you are not inside, I...
238 00:13:23,735 00:13:26,011 I can't be held responsible for what I'm gonna do to you! I can't be held responsible for what I'm gonna do to you!
239 00:13:26,150 00:13:26,904 What did I do? What did I do?
240 00:13:27,005 00:13:27,505 One... One...
241 00:13:27,694 00:13:28,764 Aw, gimme a break. Aw, gimme a break.
242 00:13:29,018 00:13:29,638 TWO! TWO!
243 00:13:29,765 00:13:30,433 Fine. Fine.
244 00:13:34,359 00:13:36,197 Wow... you got here fast. Wow... you got here fast.
245 00:13:36,388 00:13:39,148 Why is everyone so freakin' rude in this canyon. Why is everyone so freakin' rude in this canyon.
246 00:13:39,286 00:13:41,289 I'm not sir, what can I do for you? I'm not sir, what can I do for you?
247 00:13:41,437 00:13:44,516 Finally, someone with a little respect around here. Finally, someone with a little respect around here.
248 00:13:44,596 00:13:47,760 Yes Sir! I assume you're here because of this... Yes Sir! I assume you're here because of this...
249 00:13:48,185 00:13:50,305 Wait, is this all you have? Wait, is this all you have?
250 00:13:50,598 00:13:52,204 Uh, yes sir, that's it! Uh, yes sir, that's it!
251 00:13:52,605 00:13:57,518 Aw man, this figures. Shit. What about Elbow Grease? Aw man, this figures. Shit. What about Elbow Grease?
252 00:13:57,713 00:13:58,555 Uhhmmmm... Uhhmmmm...
253 00:13:58,749 00:14:00,231 Headlight Fluid? Headlight Fluid?
254 00:14:00,351 00:14:02,559 No, all we have is this flag. No, all we have is this flag.
255 00:14:02,915 00:14:06,300 Well, I can't go back empty handed... I guess I'll take that. Well, I can't go back empty handed... I guess I'll take that.
256 00:14:06,870 00:14:10,538 Sure... that makes sense. I guess. Sure... that makes sense. I guess.
257 00:14:11,427 00:14:15,350 Man, they're gonna give me so much shit for coming back with just this stupid flag. Man, they're gonna give me so much shit for coming back with just this stupid flag.
258 00:14:15,351 00:14:18,141 Well, enough gabbing out of us, let's take this bad Well, enough gabbing out of us, let's take this bad
259 00:14:18,142 00:14:20,635 boy out for a spin. Go ahead and hop in, Tucker. boy out for a spin. Go ahead and hop in, Tucker.
260 00:14:20,780 00:14:23,362 Me? I can't drive that thing. Me? I can't drive that thing.
261 00:14:23,459 00:14:25,639 You're telling me you're not Armor Certified? You're telling me you're not Armor Certified?
262 00:14:25,918 00:14:28,808 I ca-I don't even know how to use the fucking sniper rifle. I ca-I don't even know how to use the fucking sniper rifle.
263 00:14:28,997 00:14:30,316 Don't you know how to drive that? Don't you know how to drive that?
264 00:14:30,317 00:14:35,006 No! Holy Crap! WHO IS RUNNING THIS ARMY!? No! Holy Crap! WHO IS RUNNING THIS ARMY!?
265 00:14:35,427 00:14:42,313 Hey! Just wanted to let you know, the General stopped by, and picked up the flag! Hey! Just wanted to let you know, the General stopped by, and picked up the flag!
266 00:14:42,536 00:14:47,941 Yeah. Okay. Whatever moron! Why would they give us a tank, if nobody here Yeah. Okay. Whatever moron! Why would they give us a tank, if nobody here
267 00:14:47,942 00:14:53,106 knows how to drive the damn thing? ...wait a second... what did he just say? knows how to drive the damn thing? ...wait a second... what did he just say?
268 00:14:56,042 00:14:59,369 Let me get this straight... you gave this guy our flag. Let me get this straight... you gave this guy our flag.
269 00:14:59,925 00:15:00,704 Is that bad? Is that bad?
270 00:15:00,705 00:15:04,546 Bad? Oh no, that's not bad. Next time he comes over, why Bad? Oh no, that's not bad. Next time he comes over, why
271 00:15:04,547 00:15:06,821 don't you just help him blow up the whole God damn base? don't you just help him blow up the whole God damn base?
272 00:15:07,488 00:15:08,395 There, there he is. There, there he is.
273 00:15:08,632 00:15:15,690 Where... oh, yeah, oh, I got him. He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs. Where... oh, yeah, oh, I got him. He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs.
274 00:15:15,948 00:15:18,271 He must be one smart son of a bitch. He must be one smart son of a bitch.
275 00:15:18,812 00:15:23,645 Oh, man, I am so freakin' lost. Where the hell is the base? Oh, man, I am so freakin' lost. Where the hell is the base?
276 00:15:23,646 00:15:28,453 Oh, shit... Hey Tucker, look at his armor. It's Red. Oh, shit... Hey Tucker, look at his armor. It's Red.
277 00:15:28,972 00:15:31,275 Oh man, that means it's their Sargeant. Oh man, that means it's their Sargeant.
278 00:15:31,510 00:15:36,476 Well, that makes sense. At least now we know how he got by our defences. Well, that makes sense. At least now we know how he got by our defences.
279 00:15:36,852 00:15:40,355 Uh you know, he came in the back door where you guys were standing. Uh you know, he came in the back door where you guys were standing.
280 00:15:40,356 00:15:42,031 Yeah, okay, well let's take him out then. Yeah, okay, well let's take him out then.
281 00:15:42,370 00:15:46,360 Roger that. Okay, say goodnight Sarge. Roger that. Okay, say goodnight Sarge.
282 00:15:49,672 00:15:50,911 Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch!
283 00:15:51,982 00:15:52,946 Aw crap. Aw crap.
284 00:15:55,002 00:15:55,844 ...what? ...what?
285 00:15:56,177 00:15:59,661 You're really not very good with that thing, are you. You're really not very good with that thing, are you.
286 00:16:00,123 00:16:05,309 Hey! It's me! Don't shoot! I'm the guy that bought the flag, remember!? Hey! It's me! Don't shoot! I'm the guy that bought the flag, remember!?
287 00:16:05,688 00:16:09,445 Oh great, now he's taunting us. That's just embarassing. Oh great, now he's taunting us. That's just embarassing.
288 00:16:09,446 00:16:13,951 Alright, that's it, I've had it. Rookie, you stay here. Me and Tucker, Alright, that's it, I've had it. Rookie, you stay here. Me and Tucker,
289 00:16:13,952 00:16:16,775 we'll head through the teleporter, we'll cut him off at the pass. we'll head through the teleporter, we'll cut him off at the pass.
290 00:16:17,400 00:16:17,687 Right! Right!
291 00:16:17,688 00:16:19,592 Tucker, you ready? Let's go. Tucker, you ready? Let's go.
292 00:16:20,015 00:16:22,497 There is no way I'm going through that thing. There is no way I'm going through that thing.
293 00:16:22,678 00:16:25,318 Tucker, we don't have time for this. Why would Tucker, we don't have time for this. Why would
294 00:16:25,319 00:16:27,238 they give us a teleporter if it doesn't work? they give us a teleporter if it doesn't work?
295 00:16:27,343 00:16:30,922 I don't know, why would they give us a tank that no one can drive? I don't know, why would they give us a tank that no one can drive?
296 00:16:31,081 00:16:33,810 We already tested the teleporter, remember? We already tested the teleporter, remember?
297 00:16:33,956 00:16:35,662 We threw rocks through it! We threw rocks through it!
298 00:16:35,803 00:16:39,708 Yeah, and, so what? The rocks came out the other side, didn't they? Yeah, and, so what? The rocks came out the other side, didn't they?
299 00:16:39,894 00:16:43,201 Yeah, but they were all hot, and covered with black stuff. Yeah, but they were all hot, and covered with black stuff.
300 00:16:43,615 00:16:45,203 Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about
301 00:16:45,204 00:16:47,571 then, you're afraid of a little black stuff. then, you're afraid of a little black stuff.
302 00:16:47,572 00:16:51,058 Yes. I am. I am afraid of black stuff. Yes. I am. I am afraid of black stuff.
303 00:16:51,135 00:16:54,451 Tucker, I almost hate to do this to you. Tucker, I almost hate to do this to you.
304 00:16:54,614 00:16:55,594 You wouldn't... You wouldn't...
305 00:16:55,738 00:16:59,703 You know, I look at it this way: either A, we go through there, and get the You know, I look at it this way: either A, we go through there, and get the
306 00:16:59,704 00:17:05,422 flag back, or B, we stay here, and I get to kill you. Either way, I win. flag back, or B, we stay here, and I get to kill you. Either way, I win.
307 00:17:05,837 00:17:08,787 For the record, I want you to know, rocks aren't people. For the record, I want you to know, rocks aren't people.
308 00:17:08,927 00:17:11,602 Duly noted. Now get in there. Duly noted. Now get in there.
309 00:17:11,822 00:17:17,519 Crap... Alright. One, two... Crap... Alright. One, two...
310 00:17:32,769 00:17:35,610 ...Huh, he didn't come out the other side... ...Huh, he didn't come out the other side...
311 00:17:36,056 00:17:40,731 Yeeeaaaahhhhh, I've uh, I've decided I'm not gonna use the teleporter. Yeeeaaaahhhhh, I've uh, I've decided I'm not gonna use the teleporter.
312 00:17:42,917 00:17:45,448 Okay, Rookie, you stay here! I'll be back with the flag! Okay, Rookie, you stay here! I'll be back with the flag!
313 00:17:46,356 00:17:48,354 I still have no idea what you're talking about. I still have no idea what you're talking about.
314 00:17:48,774 00:17:50,005 I didn't hear any shots. I didn't hear any shots.
315 00:17:50,006 00:17:54,151 I'm telling you, it was four shots. Like bam, bam, bam. I'm telling you, it was four shots. Like bam, bam, bam.
316 00:17:54,389 00:17:56,681 Wait a second, that's only three bams. Wait a second, that's only three bams.
317 00:17:56,925 00:18:02,137 Bam. Wait a second, we've got a blue guy on the move out there. Bam. Wait a second, we've got a blue guy on the move out there.
318 00:18:02,280 00:18:03,334 Where's he headed? Where's he headed?
319 00:18:04,218 00:18:09,325 Oh crap... It... it's Donut. And he's got something... Oh crap... It... it's Donut. And he's got something...
320 00:18:10,267 00:18:10,907 It looks like... It looks like...
321 00:18:12,637 00:18:14,955 Simmons. get the Warthog. Simmons. get the Warthog.
322 00:18:15,203 00:18:16,222 Heh, you mean the Puma? Heh, you mean the Puma?
323 00:18:16,924 00:18:17,424 Freeze! Freeze!
324 00:18:19,192 00:18:22,054 Hey, why the hell are you shooting at me? You coulda hit me, dick! Hey, why the hell are you shooting at me? You coulda hit me, dick!
325 00:18:22,405 00:18:25,359 Can it. Don't try to play stupid with me, Sarge I know Can it. Don't try to play stupid with me, Sarge I know
326 00:18:25,360 00:18:28,035 who ya are We've been spying on you for three weeks now. who ya are We've been spying on you for three weeks now.
327 00:18:28,220 00:18:31,284 I just got here two hours ago. And I'm not a Sargeant, I'm a Private. I just got here two hours ago. And I'm not a Sargeant, I'm a Private.
328 00:18:31,618 00:18:33,138 Wait a minute you're not the Sargeant! Wait a minute you're not the Sargeant!
329 00:18:33,287 00:18:35,037 Yeah, that's what I just said. Yeah, that's what I just said.
330 00:18:35,276 00:18:37,580 Well then how the hell did you manage to steal our flag? Well then how the hell did you manage to steal our flag?
331 00:18:37,715 00:18:40,812 Steal? I have no idea what the hell you're talking about! Steal? I have no idea what the hell you're talking about!
332 00:18:41,068 00:18:41,624 THREE! THREE!
333 00:18:41,658 00:18:42,479 JESUS! JESUS!
334 00:18:42,480 00:18:44,788 HOLY SHIT! Who is this guy? HOLY SHIT! Who is this guy?
335 00:18:44,841 00:18:48,912 What in the hell!? Tucker? Is that you? What in the hell!? Tucker? Is that you?
336 00:18:48,913 00:18:50,908 How did you get up here ahead of me? How did you get up here ahead of me?
337 00:18:51,104 00:18:52,642 And what's with that black shit on your armor? And what's with that black shit on your armor?
338 00:18:52,812 00:18:54,476 Hey. Freeze Sarge! Hey. Freeze Sarge!
339 00:18:54,595 00:18:57,629 Would you stop calling me a Sargeant, I'm still just a Private. Would you stop calling me a Sargeant, I'm still just a Private.
340 00:18:57,731 00:19:05,731 The Sarge is still a Private? Oh. My. God. The teleporter sent me back in time. The Sarge is still a Private? Oh. My. God. The teleporter sent me back in time.
341 00:19:05,944 00:19:08,343 Sorry Lopez, we need the jeep. Sorry Lopez, we need the jeep.
342 00:19:08,523 00:19:09,355 I'll take gunner... I'll take gunner...
343 00:19:11,192 00:19:13,219 ...Let's roll... ...Let's roll...
344 00:19:13,220 00:19:15,180 How do you turn off the fucking radio in this car? How do you turn off the fucking radio in this car?
345 00:19:14,542 00:19:16,582 Don't worry Lopez, I'll bring her back in one piece. Don't worry Lopez, I'll bring her back in one piece.
346 00:19:17,168 00:19:20,623 Look, I know you don't know me, but you have to believe what I'm about to tell you. Look, I know you don't know me, but you have to believe what I'm about to tell you.
347 00:19:20,716 00:19:26,491 Some time in your future I get stationed here in Blood Gulch, and we meet. And this Some time in your future I get stationed here in Blood Gulch, and we meet. And this
348 00:19:26,492 00:19:31,256 guy here, he gets promoted to Sargeant of the Red Army, and we spy on them. And they guy here, he gets promoted to Sargeant of the Red Army, and we spy on them. And they
349 00:19:31,257 00:19:35,533 get this new jeep, and I'm like "There is no way you can pick up chicks in a tank!" get this new jeep, and I'm like "There is no way you can pick up chicks in a tank!"
350 00:19:36,026 00:19:39,216 Tucker? What the fuck are you babbling about? Tucker? What the fuck are you babbling about?
351 00:19:39,420 00:19:43,747 I know all this sounds crazy, but he eventually becomes a Sargeant, and then I know all this sounds crazy, but he eventually becomes a Sargeant, and then
352 00:19:43,748 00:19:47,320 one day we get a tank, and he comes and steals a flag while we're distracted. one day we get a tank, and he comes and steals a flag while we're distracted.
353 00:19:47,321 00:19:48,864 Is this guy a retard? Is this guy a retard?
354 00:19:49,259 00:19:54,756 Red? Shut up. Tucker? Listen to me. Ya haven't gone back in time, okay? Red? Shut up. Tucker? Listen to me. Ya haven't gone back in time, okay?
355 00:19:54,994 00:19:59,699 This is the guy who stole the flag, he's just not the Sargeant. Turns out, This is the guy who stole the flag, he's just not the Sargeant. Turns out,
356 00:19:59,827 00:20:03,629 he's just some dumb rookie, who happens to have the same color armor as him. he's just some dumb rookie, who happens to have the same color armor as him.
357 00:20:03,849 00:20:05,731 He got in somehow, just g... He got in somehow, just g...
358 00:20:05,832 00:20:09,062 For God's sakes, WHAT IS THAT MUSIC!? For God's sakes, WHAT IS THAT MUSIC!?
359 00:20:09,418 00:20:10,654 Woohoo! Woohoo!
360 00:20:10,904 00:20:13,381 Holy-Son of a bitch! Run! Jesus! Run! Holy-Son of a bitch! Run! Jesus! Run!
361 00:20:13,581 00:20:15,233 The jeep followed me back in time! The jeep followed me back in time!
362 00:20:17,595 00:20:19,638 Ah! Git! The ah! Eeh! Ah! Git! The ah! Eeh!
363 00:20:19,639 00:20:21,290 What the hell is going on here? What the hell is going on here?
364 00:20:21,291 00:20:24,161 You know what, I honestly have no idea what's going on. You know what, I honestly have no idea what's going on.
365 00:20:24,162 00:20:26,934 I think everyone in this canyon is absolutely insane. I think everyone in this canyon is absolutely insane.
366 00:20:27,405 00:20:28,331 How did you get their flag? How did you get their flag?
367 00:20:28,332 00:20:30,061 I don't know, I just asked for it. I don't know, I just asked for it.
368 00:20:30,325 00:20:31,458 Wait, that worked? Wait, that worked?
369 00:20:32,245 00:20:34,072 I guess. Is it not supposed to? I guess. Is it not supposed to?
370 00:20:34,305 00:20:36,765 I don't know, we, we never even thought to try that. I don't know, we, we never even thought to try that.
371 00:20:36,766 00:20:39,035 Just take the flag to the base, I'll explain there. Just take the flag to the base, I'll explain there.
372 00:20:39,036 00:20:40,772 Not until someone tells me what the fuck is goi- Not until someone tells me what the fuck is goi-
373 00:20:40,773 00:20:42,314 There's no time to explain, rookie! Just take the There's no time to explain, rookie! Just take the
374 00:20:42,315 00:20:44,760 flag, and go to base! I'll explain everything there. flag, and go to base! I'll explain everything there.
375 00:20:44,976 00:20:46,151 Fine...! Fine...!
376 00:20:49,617 00:20:51,513 Hungh, back to our base, dumbass! Hungh, back to our base, dumbass!
377 00:20:51,821 00:20:54,894 Uh, I know, I just got turned around, that's all. Uh, I know, I just got turned around, that's all.
378 00:20:58,605 00:20:58,971 Oh man, that's not good. Oh man, that's not good.
379 00:20:58,972 00:21:00,702 Oh my God that jeep has a really big gun. Oh my God that jeep has a really big gun.
380 00:21:04,981 00:21:10,264 Stay here... Tank... Stay here... Tank... Ah, screw it. Stay here... Tank... Stay here... Tank... Ah, screw it.
381 00:21:16,915 00:21:20,398 Well, we'll just wait here. That thing's gotta run outta bullets some time... Well, we'll just wait here. That thing's gotta run outta bullets some time...
382 00:21:26,362 00:21:28,362 My God, doesn't that thing ever run out of bullets? My God, doesn't that thing ever run out of bullets?
383 00:21:28,385 00:21:31,702 You know, in hindsight, we should have brought the tank. You know, in hindsight, we should have brought the tank.
384 00:21:32,129 00:21:37,063 Hey, Tucker, what good is a tank gonna do us if nobody here knows how to drive it? Hey, Tucker, what good is a tank gonna do us if nobody here knows how to drive it?
385 00:21:37,538 00:21:40,555 Yeah, I can see how hiding behind a rock is a much better strategy. Yeah, I can see how hiding behind a rock is a much better strategy.
386 00:21:41,790 00:21:46,616 Well, yeah, but... oh man, I guess I gotta give that one to ya. Well, yeah, but... oh man, I guess I gotta give that one to ya.
387 00:21:52,358 00:21:55,360 Hello, and thank you for activating the M808V Hello, and thank you for activating the M808V
388 00:21:55,361 00:21:58,858 Main Battle Tank. You may call me Sheila. Main Battle Tank. You may call me Sheila.
389 00:21:59,264 00:22:02,740 Hello. Sheila. Big tank lady. Hello. Sheila. Big tank lady.
390 00:22:03,000 00:22:05,633 Would you like me to run the tutorial program? Would you like me to run the tutorial program?
391 00:22:05,943 00:22:08,328 Oh, that'd be very nice. Thank you. Oh, that'd be very nice. Thank you.
392 00:22:08,329 00:22:14,352 Tutorial program activated. This program is intended to instruct non-certified Tutorial program activated. This program is intended to instruct non-certified
393 00:22:14,353 00:22:17,959 personnel in the use of the Scorpion class tank. personnel in the use of the Scorpion class tank.
394 00:22:19,136 00:22:20,619 Let's begin with some driving. Let's begin with some driving.
395 00:22:21,387 00:22:22,095 Okay. Okay.
396 00:22:22,726 00:22:26,412 Simmons. SIMMONS! Simmons. SIMMONS!
397 00:22:29,116 00:22:30,749 Man, that thing is loud. Man, that thing is loud.
398 00:22:32,949 00:22:33,611 WHAT? WHAT?
399 00:22:34,676 00:22:36,647 Come on, let's sneak around the back of the rock and get 'em out. Come on, let's sneak around the back of the rock and get 'em out.
400 00:22:37,123 00:22:38,467 OKAY. OKAY.
401 00:22:38,468 00:22:41,956 Keep it down! Jesus. Let's go, before they figure out what's going on. Keep it down! Jesus. Let's go, before they figure out what's going on.
402 00:22:42,399 00:22:45,309 Now that you've mastered driving the M808V, Now that you've mastered driving the M808V,
403 00:22:46,161 00:22:48,347 let's move on to some of the safety features. let's move on to some of the safety features.
404 00:22:48,790 00:22:50,758 No, no, wait, go back! No, no, wait, go back!
405 00:22:51,684 00:22:54,282 Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions? Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?
406 00:23:00,608 00:23:02,618 (whispering) Psst, hey, they stopped firing. (whispering) Psst, hey, they stopped firing.
407 00:23:03,307 00:23:04,456 Why are you whispering? Why are you whispering?
408 00:23:04,633 00:23:06,832 (whispering) Uhm... I don't know. (whispering) Uhm... I don't know.
409 00:23:08,585 00:23:11,281 Aw, crap, I don't think we're gonna be able to get around this way. Aw, crap, I don't think we're gonna be able to get around this way.
410 00:23:11,691 00:23:14,409 Tell me again, uh, why did we get out of the jeep? Tell me again, uh, why did we get out of the jeep?
411 00:23:14,410 00:23:17,884 Well, I guess it was this or sit there and watch you shoot rocks all day long. Well, I guess it was this or sit there and watch you shoot rocks all day long.
412 00:23:17,980 00:23:19,765 Well at least that was fun. Well at least that was fun.
413 00:23:23,527 00:23:27,819 Hoolyy crap. What in God's name is that thing? Hoolyy crap. What in God's name is that thing?
414 00:23:29,574 00:23:32,259 Tucker, don't be stupid. They're just trying to draw us out. Tucker, don't be stupid. They're just trying to draw us out.
415 00:23:33,834 00:23:36,119 No they're not, look: they left the jeep. They're gone. No they're not, look: they left the jeep. They're gone.
416 00:23:37,492 00:23:39,974 Well, I don't know about this. It seems pretty fishy, but... Well, I don't know about this. It seems pretty fishy, but...
417 00:23:40,518 00:23:42,383 alright screw it, let's go get it. alright screw it, let's go get it.
418 00:23:44,625 00:23:47,650 Dude hold still. I don't think it sees us. Dude hold still. I don't think it sees us.
419 00:23:55,244 00:23:56,540 Why is it just sitting there? Why is it just sitting there?
420 00:23:57,168 00:24:01,660 Just trying to mess with our heads. Let's get back to the Warthog. Just trying to mess with our heads. Let's get back to the Warthog.
421 00:24:02,143 00:24:05,430 This tank is equipped with an auto-fire sequence, that This tank is equipped with an auto-fire sequence, that
422 00:24:05,745 00:24:08,618 can be activated by pressing the auto-fire button. can be activated by pressing the auto-fire button.
423 00:24:09,020 00:24:11,836 Auto-fire, auto-fire, here, here! No, wait... Auto-fire, auto-fire, here, here! No, wait...
424 00:24:12,454 00:24:14,094 okay that's more a switch than a button... okay that's more a switch than a button...
425 00:24:15,915 00:24:19,384 Okay, you ready? Let's do this on three. One... Okay, you ready? Let's do this on three. One...
426 00:24:19,603 00:24:23,145 Wait. On three? Or three and then go? Wait. On three? Or three and then go?
427 00:24:23,400 00:24:26,357 On three. It's always faster to go on three. On three. It's always faster to go on three.
428 00:24:26,358 00:24:28,413 Okay, okay. On three. Okay, okay. On three.
429 00:24:28,414 00:24:28,941 Here! Here!
430 00:24:29,109 00:24:33,444 Tutorial deactivated. Auto-fire sequence activated. Tutorial deactivated. Auto-fire sequence activated.
431 00:24:33,817 00:24:34,483 Ready? Ready?
432 00:24:34,484 00:24:35,825 Acquiring target. Acquiring target.
433 00:24:36,262 00:24:38,344 I'm going for the jeep. Cover me. I'm going for the jeep. Cover me.
434 00:24:38,345 00:24:38,845 One... One...
435 00:24:42,489 00:24:43,577 Target acquired. Target acquired.
436 00:24:44,784 00:24:46,851 Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit... Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit...
437 00:24:46,852 00:24:47,352 Two... Two...
438 00:24:48,130 00:24:49,082 Target locked. Target locked.
439 00:24:51,329 00:24:51,829 Three! Three!
440 00:24:53,106 00:24:54,936 Oh, you back-stabbing cock bite! Oh, you back-stabbing cock bite!
441 00:24:54,937 00:24:56,719 Firing main cannon. Firing main cannon.
442 00:24:59,724 00:25:00,642 Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch!
443 00:25:00,643 00:25:01,560 SON OF A BITCH! SON OF A BITCH!
444 00:25:02,113 00:25:03,133 Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch!
445 00:25:03,764 00:25:05,057 Firing main cannon. Firing main cannon.
446 00:25:07,844 00:25:08,876 Firing main cannon. Firing main cannon.
447 00:25:08,877 00:25:09,377 Dammit! Dammit!
448 00:25:11,993 00:25:13,347 Firing main cannon. Firing main cannon.
449 00:25:15,799 00:25:17,188 Hey dude, the jeep blew up. Hey dude, the jeep blew up.
450 00:25:17,403 00:25:20,056 No kidding. Thanks for the update, Tucker. No kidding. Thanks for the update, Tucker.
451 00:25:20,057 00:25:21,533 Firing main cannon. Firing main cannon.
452 00:25:21,534 00:25:24,294 Hey, I have a great idea. Let's get out of the Hey, I have a great idea. Let's get out of the
453 00:25:24,295 00:25:26,840 jeep, and sneak around the back of the rock. jeep, and sneak around the back of the rock.
454 00:25:28,388 00:25:29,594 Great plan you idiot! Great plan you idiot!
455 00:25:32,352 00:25:35,789 All targets eliminated. Acquiring new target. All targets eliminated. Acquiring new target.
456 00:25:36,848 00:25:39,523 Hey Tucker, look at this, man: it's the rookie! Hey Tucker, look at this, man: it's the rookie!
457 00:25:39,675 00:25:42,323 And he brought tank out to scare off the reds. And he brought tank out to scare off the reds.
458 00:25:42,573 00:25:43,471 What? No way! What? No way!
459 00:25:44,422 00:25:48,469 Hey rookie, good job man! Why didn't you tell us you knew how to drive the tank? Hey rookie, good job man! Why didn't you tell us you knew how to drive the tank?
460 00:25:49,288 00:25:50,581 New target acquired. New target acquired.
461 00:25:51,707 00:25:53,825 That's not a target. That's Church. That's not a target. That's Church.
462 00:25:54,284 00:25:58,418 Yeah, that's right, it's me, Church! What's going on, man! Yeah, that's right, it's me, Church! What's going on, man!
463 00:25:58,797 00:25:59,651 Target locked. Target locked.
464 00:26:00,225 00:26:04,794 What? No. Target unlock. Unlock! Please help me nice lady. What? No. Target unlock. Unlock! Please help me nice lady.
465 00:26:05,463 00:26:07,208 Firing main cannon. Firing main cannon.
466 00:26:07,343 00:26:08,442 Uh oh... Uh oh...
467 00:26:08,913 00:26:09,520 Uh oh... Uh oh...
468 00:26:09,829 00:26:13,023 What? Oh, son of a bi- What? Oh, son of a bi-
469 00:26:16,088 00:26:21,148 Holy fuck! Church, are you okay? Talk to me, Church! Holy fuck! Church, are you okay? Talk to me, Church!
470 00:26:22,106 00:26:24,679 You shot Church, you team-killing fucktard! You shot Church, you team-killing fucktard!
471 00:26:24,969 00:26:27,488 Auto-fire sequence deactivated. Auto-fire sequence deactivated.
472 00:26:27,489 00:26:30,187 Tucker! ...Tucker! Tucker! ...Tucker!
473 00:26:30,188 00:26:32,616 Church! It's going to be okay, man. Church! It's going to be okay, man.
474 00:26:32,617 00:26:36,985 No. Ah... I'm na, I'm not gonna make it. No. Ah... I'm na, I'm not gonna make it.
475 00:26:37,176 00:26:41,374 Tucker, there's something I need to tell you. Tucker, there's something I need to tell you.
476 00:26:42,242 00:26:42,885 What is it? What is it?
477 00:26:42,886 00:26:46,929 I just want you to know, I always hated you. I just want you to know, I always hated you.
478 00:26:47,543 00:26:49,360 I always hated you the most. I always hated you the most.
479 00:26:49,361 00:26:52,070 Yeah, I know you did. Now hurry up and die, you prick. Yeah, I know you did. Now hurry up and die, you prick.
480 00:26:52,211 00:26:56,367 Okay. Hierh! Blueah. Okay. Hierh! Blueah.
481 00:26:59,617 00:27:00,370 What happened? What happened?
482 00:27:00,371 00:27:05,148 Big... Tank... Shooting... Whooooh! Big... Tank... Shooting... Whooooh!
483 00:27:06,020 00:27:08,648 Damn, man, we only ran like three hundred feet. Damn, man, we only ran like three hundred feet.
484 00:27:08,868 00:27:10,477 You are really out of shape. You are really out of shape.
485 00:27:10,976 00:27:12,555 Fuck... You... Fuck... You...
486 00:27:12,832 00:27:13,928 Where's your car? Where's your car?
487 00:27:14,236 00:27:17,517 General Patton here had a great strategy to leave it behind. General Patton here had a great strategy to leave it behind.
488 00:27:18,009 00:27:20,170 Hey, it would have worked if that tank hadn't shown up. Hey, it would have worked if that tank hadn't shown up.
489 00:27:20,699 00:27:25,721 You lost the jeep? Oh man, Lopez is gonna be pissed. Where is it? You lost the jeep? Oh man, Lopez is gonna be pissed. Where is it?
490 00:27:28,808 00:27:29,705 What the hell? What the hell?
491 00:27:32,039 00:27:32,859 Holy crap! What the hell is that thing? Holy crap! What the hell is that thing?
492 00:27:33,328 00:27:34,495 That's the tank! That's the tank!
493 00:27:35,285 00:27:38,295 Hey uh, Grif uh, you wanna hold the flag for a little bit? Hey uh, Grif uh, you wanna hold the flag for a little bit?
494 00:27:38,296 00:27:39,890 No, keep that away from me! No, keep that away from me!
495 00:27:42,298 00:27:43,698 Why do you keep firing at the jeep? Why do you keep firing at the jeep?
496 00:27:44,106 00:27:45,161 Because it's locked on! Because it's locked on!
497 00:27:45,348 00:27:46,658 Target locked. Target locked.
498 00:27:46,659 00:27:47,584 Well unlock it. Well unlock it.
499 00:27:47,834 00:27:50,198 Last time I unlocked it, I KILLED CHURCH! Last time I unlocked it, I KILLED CHURCH!
500 00:27:50,685 00:27:54,007 Oh, right... keep shooting the jeep then. Oh, right... keep shooting the jeep then.
501 00:27:54,817 00:27:58,679 I hate to be the one to point this out guys, but I think we're screwed. I hate to be the one to point this out guys, but I think we're screwed.
502 00:27:59,311 00:28:02,005 Yeah. I have to agree with the rookie on this one. Yeah. I have to agree with the rookie on this one.
503 00:28:02,683 00:28:07,249 Blood Gulch Outpost Number One. Come in, Blood Gulch Blood Gulch Outpost Number One. Come in, Blood Gulch
504 00:28:07,250 00:28:10,784 Outpost, come in. Do you read me? This is Sargeant- Outpost, come in. Do you read me? This is Sargeant-
505 00:28:10,785 00:28:12,796 Oh my God, Sarge, is that you? Oh my God, Sarge, is that you?
506 00:28:12,797 00:28:17,627 Roger that, Private. I am currently in-bound to your position from Command. Roger that, Private. I am currently in-bound to your position from Command.
507 00:28:17,903 00:28:19,780 Sir, this is Simmons. Sir, this is Simmons.
508 00:28:20,178 00:28:23,348 Hello Simmons. I hope everything's gone alright while I've been gone. Hello Simmons. I hope everything's gone alright while I've been gone.
509 00:28:23,637 00:28:26,588 Actually sir, things are kind of hectic right now. The new rookie Actually sir, things are kind of hectic right now. The new rookie
510 00:28:26,589 00:28:29,831 arrived, and somehow he managed to infiltrate the blue base, and now arrived, and somehow he managed to infiltrate the blue base, and now
511 00:28:29,832 00:28:32,976 we have their flag, the Warthog is damaged, one of their guys is we have their flag, the Warthog is damaged, one of their guys is
512 00:28:32,977 00:28:36,542 dead, and there's this huge fucking tank about to destroy our base. dead, and there's this huge fucking tank about to destroy our base.
513 00:28:42,020 00:28:43,732 ...Am I talkin' to the right base? ...Am I talkin' to the right base?
514 00:28:44,115 00:28:47,200 Sarge, we, are going, to die here. Sarge, we, are going, to die here.
515 00:28:47,714 00:28:53,257 Well then hold tight boys. I think I gotta solution to your little 'tank' problem. Well then hold tight boys. I think I gotta solution to your little 'tank' problem.
516 00:28:54,354 00:28:55,300 Uh oh. Uh oh.
517 00:28:58,770 00:29:02,596 Hey Caboose, you might wanna get out of the tank. Like right now. Hey Caboose, you might wanna get out of the tank. Like right now.
518 00:29:02,982 00:29:04,783 I can't figure out how to get this thing open! I can't figure out how to get this thing open!
519 00:29:04,981 00:29:06,202 Night vision engaged. Night vision engaged.
520 00:29:06,701 00:29:07,788 Rookie, get out now. Rookie, get out now.
521 00:29:08,466 00:29:13,696 Okay, open the duh, okay, I, Sheila, will you please open the door? Okay, open the duh, okay, I, Sheila, will you please open the door?
522 00:29:13,835 00:29:15,830 Driver canopy open. Driver canopy open.
523 00:29:16,540 00:29:20,347 Thank you for using the M808V main battle ta- Thank you for using the M808V main battle ta-
524 00:29:21,517 00:29:23,618 Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap running, running, running. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap running, running, running.
525 00:29:24,443 00:29:26,357 Man, that was close. Man, that was close.
526 00:29:26,633 00:29:28,870 Look at your tank though. Look at your tank though.
527 00:29:29,742 00:29:37,742 I'm scared Dave. Will I dream? Daisy... Daaaaiisyyyyyy... I'm scared Dave. Will I dream? Daisy... Daaaaiisyyyyyy...
528 00:29:39,012 00:29:42,814 Sheeeeiilaaaaa! Noooooo! Sheeeeiilaaaaa! Noooooo!
529 00:29:42,815 00:29:48,058 What? No! Sheila! Sheila! Wait... who's Sheila? What? No! Sheila! Sheila! Wait... who's Sheila?
530 00:29:49,153 00:29:53,230 Sheila's the lady in the tank. She was my friend... Sheila's the lady in the tank. She was my friend...
531 00:29:54,129 00:29:56,729 Oh, dude! I knew you could pick up chicks in a tank! Oh, dude! I knew you could pick up chicks in a tank!
532 00:29:59,833 00:30:03,372 Come in Blue Command. This is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. Do you read me? Come in Blue Command. This is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. Do you read me?
533 00:30:04,039 00:30:06,770 Okay, that is the last of it, your armor is clean now. Okay, that is the last of it, your armor is clean now.
534 00:30:07,213 00:30:09,438 Did you get all the black stuff off? Did you get all the black stuff off?
535 00:30:09,439 00:30:11,675 This is Blue Command, come in Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. This is Blue Command, come in Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha.
536 00:30:11,948 00:30:13,941 Hello! Command! We need help. Hello! Command! We need help.
537 00:30:14,315 00:30:16,655 Roger that, Blood Gulch, what is your request? Roger that, Blood Gulch, what is your request?
538 00:30:17,106 00:30:19,694 I don't know what the technical military term is for it, I don't know what the technical military term is for it,
539 00:30:19,695 00:30:22,514 but uh, we're pretty fucked up down here. We need men! but uh, we're pretty fucked up down here. We need men!
540 00:30:23,196 00:30:25,821 ...Dude, how long have you guys been down there? ...Dude, how long have you guys been down there?
541 00:30:26,247 00:30:29,543 No, no no, naw, it-not like that. We need more men to help us. No, no no, naw, it-not like that. We need more men to help us.
542 00:30:30,113 00:30:32,143 Roger that. Did you get the tank we sent? Roger that. Did you get the tank we sent?
543 00:30:32,738 00:30:34,663 Yeah, that got blown up too. Yeah, that got blown up too.
544 00:30:35,040 00:30:36,940 Wow. Sucks to be you. Wow. Sucks to be you.
545 00:30:37,230 00:30:38,065 Yeah, we know. Yeah, we know.
546 00:30:38,066 00:30:40,684 Okay, here's what I can do. The nearest blue Okay, here's what I can do. The nearest blue
547 00:30:40,685 00:30:42,747 forces can be there in sixteen days, or I- forces can be there in sixteen days, or I-
548 00:30:42,954 00:30:45,820 Sixteen days!? That's almost two weeks! Sixteen days!? That's almost two weeks!
549 00:30:45,966 00:30:49,425 Or I can hire a nearby freelancer and get him there within a few hours. Or I can hire a nearby freelancer and get him there within a few hours.
550 00:30:49,643 00:30:51,735 I like the 'in an hour' one. I like the 'in an hour' one.
551 00:30:51,985 00:30:55,647 Yeah, me too. Roger that Command, we prefer the quicker solution. Yeah, me too. Roger that Command, we prefer the quicker solution.
552 00:30:55,648 00:30:57,923 10-4 Blood Gulch, we will contact freelancer 10-4 Blood Gulch, we will contact freelancer
553 00:30:57,924 00:31:00,821 Tex, and have him there post-haste. Command out. Tex, and have him there post-haste. Command out.
554 00:31:01,165 00:31:02,885 Whoever he is, make sure he can fix a tank. Whoever he is, make sure he can fix a tank.
555 00:31:03,444 00:31:04,245 What's a freelancer? What's a freelancer?
556 00:31:04,425 00:31:07,473 Freelancers are independant, they're not red or blue. They're Freelancers are independant, they're not red or blue. They're
557 00:31:07,474 00:31:10,259 just guns for hire, who'll fight for whoever has the most money. just guns for hire, who'll fight for whoever has the most money.
558 00:31:10,538 00:31:12,837 Like a mercenary. Like a mercenary.
559 00:31:12,838 00:31:15,036 Right. Or like your mom, when the rent's due. Right. Or like your mom, when the rent's due.
560 00:31:16,257 00:31:17,058 ...oh, that's funny. ...oh, that's funny.
561 00:31:17,608 00:31:18,913 Yeah, you didn't think that was too obvious? Yeah, you didn't think that was too obvious?
562 00:31:19,107 00:31:21,040 No no, no no, that was, that was good. No no, no no, that was, that was good.
563 00:31:21,041 00:31:25,483 Tucker... Tuuuckerrr... Tucker... Tuuuckerrr...
564 00:31:25,692 00:31:26,876 Who the hell are you? Who the hell are you?
565 00:31:27,105 00:31:33,313 I am the ghost of Chuuuurch... and I've come back with a waaarniiing... I am the ghost of Chuuuurch... and I've come back with a waaarniiing...
566 00:31:34,081 00:31:38,517 You're not Church... Church is blue. You're white. You're not Church... Church is blue. You're white.
567 00:31:38,741 00:31:43,808 Rookie, shut up, man. I'm a freakin' ghost! Have you ever seen a blue ghost before? Rookie, shut up, man. I'm a freakin' ghost! Have you ever seen a blue ghost before?
568 00:31:45,584 00:31:46,609 Yeah, that's definitely him. Yeah, that's definitely him.
569 00:31:46,610 00:31:48,290 Now I gotta start all over again... (ahem) Now I gotta start all over again... (ahem)
570 00:31:49,407 00:31:55,968 Tucker... Tuuuckerrr... I've come back with a waaarniiing... Tucker... Tuuuckerrr... I've come back with a waaarniiing...
571 00:31:56,304 00:31:57,903 Is it really necessary to do the voice? Is it really necessary to do the voice?
572 00:31:58,135 00:31:59,673 Yeah, it's kinda annoying. Yeah, it's kinda annoying.
573 00:32:00,208 00:32:03,302 Fine. Okay, here's the deal. I've come back from the Fine. Okay, here's the deal. I've come back from the
574 00:32:03,303 00:32:06,418 dead to give you a warning about Tex. Don't let - dead to give you a warning about Tex. Don't let -
575 00:32:06,419 00:32:07,331 What's the warning? What's the warning?
576 00:32:07,332 00:32:10,117 Shut up for one second, and I'll tell you. Shut up for one second, and I'll tell you.
577 00:32:10,525 00:32:11,140 Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry.
578 00:32:11,141 00:32:14,630 Seriously, man, I mean, I'm coming back from the great beyond here. Seriously, man, I mean, I'm coming back from the great beyond here.
579 00:32:14,631 00:32:17,117 You think this is easy? It's not. It's You think this is easy? It's not. It's
580 00:32:17,118 00:32:18,884 not like I just, you know just pop in and out whenever not like I just, you know just pop in and out whenever
581 00:32:18,885 00:32:20,771 I feel like it, it takes a lot of concentration. I feel like it, it takes a lot of concentration.
582 00:32:21,243 00:32:21,812 Sorry. Sorry.
583 00:32:21,813 00:32:24,506 I mean, it's bad enough that you killed me to begin with, but now I mean, it's bad enough that you killed me to begin with, but now
584 00:32:24,507 00:32:26,856 I come back and I can't even get a word in edgewise, man... I come back and I can't even get a word in edgewise, man...
585 00:32:28,617 00:32:31,514 Okay. Here's the deal. Okay. Here's the deal.
586 00:32:31,515 00:32:32,416 Is this the warning? Is this the warning?
587 00:32:32,697 00:32:36,842 Alright, that's it, I swear to God, Caboose, your ass is haunted. Alright, that's it, I swear to God, Caboose, your ass is haunted.
588 00:32:37,333 00:32:39,295 When we're done here, I'm gonna haunt you. When we're done here, I'm gonna haunt you.
589 00:32:39,750 00:32:41,230 Yeah, you're even starting to bug me. Yeah, you're even starting to bug me.
590 00:32:41,655 00:32:44,791 Okay, Tucker. You remember that I told you I was stationed on Okay, Tucker. You remember that I told you I was stationed on
591 00:32:44,792 00:32:48,176 Sidewinder before they transfered me here to Blood Gulch, right? Sidewinder before they transfered me here to Blood Gulch, right?
592 00:32:48,177 00:32:48,512 No. No.
593 00:32:48,513 00:32:51,228 Sidewinder, isn't that the ice planet? Sidewinder, isn't that the ice planet?
594 00:32:51,229 00:32:52,113 Yes. Yes.
595 00:32:52,114 00:32:53,528 Cool, what was that like? Cool, what was that like?
596 00:32:53,887 00:32:55,945 Um... it was cold. Um... it was cold.
597 00:32:55,946 00:32:57,143 That's it? Just cold? That's it? Just cold?
598 00:32:57,342 00:33:00,723 What do you want from me, a poem? It's a planet made What do you want from me, a poem? It's a planet made
599 00:33:00,724 00:33:05,515 entirely out of ice. It's really, fuckin', cold. entirely out of ice. It's really, fuckin', cold.
600 00:33:05,841 00:33:06,962 Would you just let him talk? Would you just let him talk?
601 00:33:07,582 00:33:10,345 Alright, well, one day when I was there, Alright, well, one day when I was there,
602 00:33:10,586 00:33:13,888 everything was just like normal. I remember, I was everything was just like normal. I remember, I was
603 00:33:13,889 00:33:16,485 out on patrol with my partner Jimmy. That Jimmy out on patrol with my partner Jimmy. That Jimmy
604 00:33:16,486 00:33:18,559 was a real good kid, everybody liked him. was a real good kid, everybody liked him.
605 00:33:18,829 00:33:20,309 Do you think I was a good kid Church? Do you think I was a good kid Church?
606 00:33:20,384 00:33:25,109 Tucker, don't get jealous man, just listen to the story, okay? Like I said, Tucker, don't get jealous man, just listen to the story, okay? Like I said,
607 00:33:25,110 00:33:28,846 guys were hanging around, waitin' for some action, bitching about the cold... guys were hanging around, waitin' for some action, bitching about the cold...
608 00:33:29,016 00:33:31,163 Man, it's fucking cold. Man, it's fucking cold.
609 00:33:31,164 00:33:32,627 I hope we get some action. I hope we get some action.
610 00:33:32,628 00:33:34,459 Anyway, Jimmy was in the middle of telling me Anyway, Jimmy was in the middle of telling me
611 00:33:34,460 00:33:36,235 all about this girlfriend he had back home. all about this girlfriend he had back home.
612 00:33:36,705 00:33:40,779 Yep, soon as I get back, I'm gonna get down on one knee and ask her to marry me. Yep, soon as I get back, I'm gonna get down on one knee and ask her to marry me.
613 00:33:40,952 00:33:42,858 And that's when Tex showed up. And that's when Tex showed up.
614 00:33:45,203 00:33:48,625 Private Mickey was the first to go. He was halfway across the base Private Mickey was the first to go. He was halfway across the base
615 00:33:48,626 00:33:51,082 when all of a sudden he just started screaming bloody murder. when all of a sudden he just started screaming bloody murder.
616 00:33:51,294 00:33:53,084 Bloody murder! Bloody murder! Bloody murder! Bloody murder!
617 00:33:53,326 00:33:55,443 The whole thing was over before it even started. The whole thing was over before it even started.
618 00:33:58,617 00:34:02,189 Poor Jimmy was the last one to go. Tex walked up to him, pulled Poor Jimmy was the last one to go. Tex walked up to him, pulled
619 00:34:02,190 00:34:05,238 Jimmy's skull right out of his head and beat him to death with it. Jimmy's skull right out of his head and beat him to death with it.
620 00:34:05,432 00:34:08,300 Wait a second... how do you beat someone to death with Wait a second... how do you beat someone to death with
621 00:34:08,422 00:34:11,579 their own skull? That doesn't seem physically possible. their own skull? That doesn't seem physically possible.
622 00:34:12,203 00:34:14,048 That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming. That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.
623 00:34:14,163 00:34:16,281 This doesn't seem physically possible! This doesn't seem physically possible!
624 00:34:16,948 00:34:19,026 Eeeeggh, blehhhhh. Eeeeggh, blehhhhh.
625 00:34:19,027 00:34:24,246 Bottom line is: these freelancers, they're bad news, and Tex is one of the worst. Bottom line is: these freelancers, they're bad news, and Tex is one of the worst.
626 00:34:24,247 00:34:26,620 If he's such a badass, why didn't he kill you? If he's such a badass, why didn't he kill you?
627 00:34:26,621 00:34:30,225 To tell you I don't know why I'm not dead. Could've killed me at any point. To tell you I don't know why I'm not dead. Could've killed me at any point.
628 00:34:31,482 00:34:34,472 But maybe it's because Tex and I have run in to each other once before. But maybe it's because Tex and I have run in to each other once before.
629 00:34:34,473 00:34:35,220 Where? Where?
630 00:34:35,440 00:34:39,562 You uh, you remember that girl I told you about back home? Well, You uh, you remember that girl I told you about back home? Well,
631 00:34:39,770 00:34:43,535 let's just say that Tex is the real reason why we never got married. let's just say that Tex is the real reason why we never got married.
632 00:34:43,922 00:34:46,363 Guys, I'm fading fast and I don't know when I'll be back. Guys, I'm fading fast and I don't know when I'll be back.
633 00:34:46,775 00:34:49,768 Just listen to my warning: don't let Tex get involved here. Just listen to my warning: don't let Tex get involved here.
634 00:34:49,769 00:34:50,444 Okay. Okay.
635 00:34:50,445 00:34:55,186 I mean it Tucker. No fighting, no scouting, nothing. You'll regret it I mean it Tucker. No fighting, no scouting, nothing. You'll regret it
636 00:34:56,215 00:34:58,786 So, Tex and Church were after the same girl. So, Tex and Church were after the same girl.
637 00:34:59,574 00:35:01,123 I told you his girlfriend was a slut. I told you his girlfriend was a slut.
638 00:35:11,022 00:35:13,061 And then I thought, you know, we could sneak And then I thought, you know, we could sneak
639 00:35:13,062 00:35:15,347 around the side while they were hiding behind the around the side while they were hiding behind the
640 00:35:15,348 00:35:18,372 rock, but uh, well that's when the tank showed up rock, but uh, well that's when the tank showed up
641 00:35:18,373 00:35:21,439 and, shit just started blowin' up. I don't know. and, shit just started blowin' up. I don't know.
642 00:35:23,850 00:35:29,721 Grif, do you have any Godly idea how much this piece of equipment costs? Grif, do you have any Godly idea how much this piece of equipment costs?
643 00:35:30,419 00:35:35,155 Ah, I don't know, what like uh, ten, ten twenty, twenty-five bucks, maybe? Ah, I don't know, what like uh, ten, ten twenty, twenty-five bucks, maybe?
644 00:35:36,049 00:35:37,850 Uh, yeu, you're gonna kill me now, aren't you. Uh, yeu, you're gonna kill me now, aren't you.
645 00:35:37,943 00:35:41,771 Tell you what, Grif, I'm a fair man. I'll give you a ten second Tell you what, Grif, I'm a fair man. I'll give you a ten second
646 00:35:42,258 00:35:45,139 head start here before I let Lopez do anything he wants to ya. head start here before I let Lopez do anything he wants to ya.
647 00:35:46,211 00:35:50,529 Guys, I just want you to know. I'm really, really sorry here, and Guys, I just want you to know. I'm really, really sorry here, and
648 00:35:50,530 00:35:53,130 Five Mississippi. Six Mississippi. Five Mississippi. Six Mississippi.
649 00:35:53,596 00:35:55,589 Okay uh, I guess I better get going then. Okay uh, I guess I better get going then.
650 00:35:59,127 00:36:01,368 Hey guys, that's not funny. Somebody could get hurt here. Hey guys, that's not funny. Somebody could get hurt here.
651 00:36:03,867 00:36:07,630 That's basically it sir, they have five guys over there and a big jeep. That's basically it sir, they have five guys over there and a big jeep.
652 00:36:08,087 00:36:09,673 And your flag. And your flag.
653 00:36:10,493 00:36:11,609 Right, that too. Right, that too.
654 00:36:14,639 00:36:18,404 Uh, hey, Tex? I don't know what it's been like at your other bases, Uh, hey, Tex? I don't know what it's been like at your other bases,
655 00:36:18,791 00:36:22,118 but we try not to use other soldiers as target practice here. but we try not to use other soldiers as target practice here.
656 00:36:24,436 00:36:26,040 I'm scared. I'm scared.
657 00:36:28,498 00:36:31,595 So, you've got the Special Forces black armor, I see. So, you've got the Special Forces black armor, I see.
658 00:36:32,058 00:36:33,818 Were you in the Special Forces at some point? Were you in the Special Forces at some point?
659 00:36:36,173 00:36:39,563 Yeah, I used to have black armor too. It was black Yeah, I used to have black armor too. It was black
660 00:36:39,564 00:36:41,533 because I got this stuff all over it from th- because I got this stuff all over it from th-
661 00:36:42,022 00:36:44,155 Oh, okay, you gotta go? I'll see you later. Oh, okay, you gotta go? I'll see you later.
662 00:36:45,568 00:36:47,774 I don't think he likes you. I don't think he likes you.
663 00:36:48,609 00:36:49,593 Thanks. Thanks.
664 00:36:51,533 00:36:52,859 Where are you going? Where are you going?
665 00:36:53,524 00:36:58,634 Red base. Kill everybody. Get the flag back. Red base. Kill everybody. Get the flag back.
666 00:37:00,385 00:37:07,666 Uh... Okay! We'll just stay here and guard the trans... porter... Uh... Okay! We'll just stay here and guard the trans... porter...
667 00:37:09,329 00:37:11,999 So, Sarge thought my strategy had merit, but was poorly So, Sarge thought my strategy had merit, but was poorly
668 00:37:12,362 00:37:16,749 executed, probably because somebody didn't believe in it. executed, probably because somebody didn't believe in it.
669 00:37:16,750 00:37:19,363 Bullshit. He told me he thought you were a retarded Bullshit. He told me he thought you were a retarded
670 00:37:19,364 00:37:21,484 monkey, and he's gonna suspend your weapon privileges. monkey, and he's gonna suspend your weapon privileges.
671 00:37:22,026 00:37:25,796 Hey since I captured the flag, d'you think they'll give me my own color armor now? Hey since I captured the flag, d'you think they'll give me my own color armor now?
672 00:37:26,251 00:37:28,116 What do you mean 'captured'? You thought you What do you mean 'captured'? You thought you
673 00:37:28,347 00:37:29,867 were buying it at the store, you idiot. were buying it at the store, you idiot.
674 00:37:30,377 00:37:31,762 Still, you think there's a shot? Still, you think there's a shot?
675 00:37:31,763 00:37:34,444 Maybe they'll give you Grif's armor, since he destroyed the Warthog. Maybe they'll give you Grif's armor, since he destroyed the Warthog.
676 00:37:34,705 00:37:38,267 Hyeah, heh-wait... you don't... you don't think they'd do that, do you? Hyeah, heh-wait... you don't... you don't think they'd do that, do you?
677 00:37:39,300 00:37:42,736 Try connectin' that hose to that metal thingie there. Try connectin' that hose to that metal thingie there.
678 00:37:43,015 00:37:45,322 I think that's what's makin' that rattle. I think that's what's makin' that rattle.
679 00:37:46,982 00:37:48,781 Ah think I'll let you do it. Ah think I'll let you do it.
680 00:37:52,762 00:37:54,883 What the... What was that? What the... What was that?
681 00:37:55,771 00:37:58,415 Simmons, what's going on? What's over there? Simmons, what's going on? What's over there?
682 00:37:59,071 00:38:00,632 I thought I saw something for a second. I thought I saw something for a second.
683 00:38:04,301 00:38:07,502 Hey rookie, tuck the flag somewhere safe until we can figure out what's goin' on. Hey rookie, tuck the flag somewhere safe until we can figure out what's goin' on.
684 00:38:08,050 00:38:10,615 Good idea. I was sick of carrying this thing anyway. Good idea. I was sick of carrying this thing anyway.
685 00:38:13,362 00:38:14,609 Did you hear that? Did you hear that?
686 00:38:14,610 00:38:15,433 Yeah. Yeah.
687 00:38:15,434 00:38:17,677 (whispering) Hey! What's going on? (whispering) Hey! What's going on?
688 00:38:21,198 00:38:22,215 What the fuck? What the fuck?
689 00:38:22,555 00:38:24,422 What? What?
690 00:38:24,839 00:38:25,599 What is that thing? What is that thing?
691 00:38:26,022 00:38:26,628 What thing? What thing?
692 00:38:26,629 00:38:28,217 There's something on your head... There's something on your head...
693 00:38:28,513 00:38:30,337 What, is it a spider? Get it off! What, is it a spider? Get it off!
694 00:38:30,338 00:38:32,851 No, it's not a spider, it's, like a... blue thing. No, it's not a spider, it's, like a... blue thing.
695 00:38:34,235 00:38:36,153 What, like a blue spider? Get it off! What, like a blue spider? Get it off!
696 00:38:36,154 00:38:41,055 It's not a spider, calm down. It's some kinda, fuzzy pulsating thing. It's not a spider, calm down. It's some kinda, fuzzy pulsating thing.
697 00:38:41,056 00:38:43,089 That doesn't sound much better than a spider. That doesn't sound much better than a spider.
698 00:38:43,366 00:38:44,201 Does it hurt? Does it hurt?
699 00:38:44,202 00:38:44,702 No... No...
700 00:38:45,142 00:38:46,558 Maybe we should try to take it off. Maybe we should try to take it off.
701 00:38:46,559 00:38:48,198 Good idea. Go for it. Good idea. Go for it.
702 00:38:48,476 00:38:52,864 Me? By "we" I meant "you." Asshole. Me? By "we" I meant "you." Asshole.
703 00:38:52,865 00:38:55,860 Well somebody needs to get it off. Look, it might be dangerous. Well somebody needs to get it off. Look, it might be dangerous.
704 00:38:57,285 00:38:58,280 Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch!
705 00:39:01,170 00:39:02,106 Son... where'd he go? Son... where'd he go?
706 00:39:03,087 00:39:04,807 Don't kill me, I'm too good looking to die! Don't kill me, I'm too good looking to die!
707 00:39:06,423 00:39:10,221 Man... he is really kicking their asses. Man... he is really kicking their asses.
708 00:39:10,222 00:39:13,337 How come I never get the fucking sniper rifle? How come I never get the fucking sniper rifle?
709 00:39:15,500 00:39:18,250 I'm really glad Tex is on our team and not theirs. I'm really glad Tex is on our team and not theirs.
710 00:39:18,783 00:39:20,263 Sure makes things a lot easier on us. Sure makes things a lot easier on us.
711 00:39:20,619 00:39:25,522 Yeah. I think switching Tex for Church was a good trade. Yeah. I think switching Tex for Church was a good trade.
712 00:39:25,523 00:39:28,802 It definitely seems like your killing Church is starting to work out for us. It definitely seems like your killing Church is starting to work out for us.
713 00:39:29,412 00:39:31,958 Ya know ya think so? You know, I was gonna say Ya know ya think so? You know, I was gonna say
714 00:39:31,959 00:39:36,141 something but uh, well you know, uh... nuh... something but uh, well you know, uh... nuh...
715 00:39:37,358 00:39:38,340 Did Tex get in the base? Did Tex get in the base?
716 00:39:42,248 00:39:42,748 Yeah. Yeah.
717 00:39:45,454 00:39:47,596 Blue team, flag returned. Blue team, flag returned.
718 00:39:48,363 00:39:50,147 What the... who said that? What the... who said that?
719 00:39:50,148 00:39:53,671 Sorry, that was me. I uh, I guess I had something Sorry, that was me. I uh, I guess I had something
720 00:39:53,672 00:39:56,548 stuck in my throat. Your flag is back, by the way. stuck in my throat. Your flag is back, by the way.
721 00:39:56,943 00:39:58,569 Hey... it's Church. Hey... it's Church.
722 00:39:59,253 00:40:01,133 Yeah, it's me. Hey Caboose. Yeah, it's me. Hey Caboose.
723 00:40:01,134 00:40:03,664 Hey Church, what're you up to? Hey Church, what're you up to?
724 00:40:04,022 00:40:07,620 Caboose, ah-huh-huh, I'm not really here to make small-talk, okay? Caboose, ah-huh-huh, I'm not really here to make small-talk, okay?
725 00:40:08,059 00:40:09,779 How'd you guys manage to get your flag back? How'd you guys manage to get your flag back?
726 00:40:10,284 00:40:14,464 Wh, what? Oh, th, that flag? We've always had that. Wh, what? Oh, th, that flag? We've always had that.
727 00:40:14,813 00:40:17,458 Tucker, who do you think you're trying to fool? Tucker, who do you think you're trying to fool?
728 00:40:17,459 00:40:20,496 Hey wait a second... Where's Tex? Hey wait a second... Where's Tex?
729 00:40:21,154 00:40:23,383 I'm not really sure, he said he was gonna go to I'm not really sure, he said he was gonna go to
730 00:40:23,384 00:40:26,325 the store, something about uh, Elbow Grease. the store, something about uh, Elbow Grease.
731 00:40:26,326 00:40:30,293 Oh great. This is so typical! What was the one Oh great. This is so typical! What was the one
732 00:40:30,294 00:40:33,179 thing I told you guys the last time I appeared? thing I told you guys the last time I appeared?
733 00:40:33,602 00:40:35,590 That Sidewinder is cold!? That Sidewinder is cold!?
734 00:40:35,892 00:40:40,621 Nuhhhh, what was the other one thing I told you? Nuhhhh, what was the other one thing I told you?
735 00:40:40,945 00:40:42,408 Not to let him get involved? Not to let him get involved?
736 00:40:42,630 00:40:44,736 Right. And what did you do? Right. And what did you do?
737 00:40:45,693 00:40:47,664 We let him get involved. We let him get involved.
738 00:40:47,665 00:40:50,104 And not just a little involved, how involved? And not just a little involved, how involved?
739 00:40:50,415 00:40:52,861 Very, very involved. Very, very involved.
740 00:40:53,299 00:40:53,983 Freeze. Freeze.
741 00:40:57,552 00:40:58,911 Drop your weapon. Drop your weapon.
742 00:41:00,767 00:41:02,060 Hey buddy. Hey buddy.
743 00:41:02,538 00:41:03,188 What. What.
744 00:41:03,189 00:41:06,896 You really better hope the first one knocks me out. You really better hope the first one knocks me out.
745 00:41:09,578 00:41:14,578 Ow, what the... My freakin' head. Jesus. Ow, what the... My freakin' head. Jesus.
746 00:41:16,391 00:41:20,237 He's hurt, Grif. He'll make it, but we need to get him some help fast. He's hurt, Grif. He'll make it, but we need to get him some help fast.
747 00:41:21,269 00:41:24,234 Yeah, yeah hold on one second. What happened here? Yeah, yeah hold on one second. What happened here?
748 00:41:24,235 00:41:25,577 W-First Donut's head W-First Donut's head
749 00:41:25,578 00:41:30,498 exploded, and then you fainted, and then some black thing showed up and started- exploded, and then you fainted, and then some black thing showed up and started-
750 00:41:30,499 00:41:34,578 Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. I did not faint, something knocked me out. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. I did not faint, something knocked me out.
751 00:41:34,969 00:41:38,375 Okay fine, keep lying to yourself. Whatever helps you sleep at night. Okay fine, keep lying to yourself. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
752 00:41:38,903 00:41:41,435 Man, just go find Sarge, we need to get Donut outta here. Man, just go find Sarge, we need to get Donut outta here.
753 00:41:42,813 00:41:47,195 Yeah sure, oh, and uh, I'm fine by the way, thanks for asking. Yeah sure, oh, and uh, I'm fine by the way, thanks for asking.
754 00:41:47,894 00:41:50,148 Whatever, noone likes you anyway. Whatever, noone likes you anyway.
755 00:41:51,806 00:41:59,806 Yep, he's definitely captured... Or dead... Captured or dead... Yep, he's definitely captured... Or dead... Captured or dead...
756 00:42:00,651 00:42:04,011 Or captured and dead! Or captured and dead!
757 00:42:04,012 00:42:06,757 Oh, well that's just perfect! Oh, well that's just perfect!
758 00:42:06,758 00:42:10,357 What? What is your problem? Why do you even care if he's captured, What? What is your problem? Why do you even care if he's captured,
759 00:42:10,358 00:42:13,147 I thought you hated that guy anyway, for stealing your girlfriend? I thought you hated that guy anyway, for stealing your girlfriend?
760 00:42:14,076 00:42:18,487 I never said I hated Tex. I just said that I never said I hated Tex. I just said that
761 00:42:18,488 00:42:21,465 she was the reason why we never got married. she was the reason why we never got married.
762 00:42:21,466 00:42:22,652 She? She?
763 00:42:23,179 00:42:25,683 Sarge, we need to get Donut air-lifted outta here. Sarge, we need to get Donut air-lifted outta here.
764 00:42:26,154 00:42:30,165 Could you put that in a memo, and entitle it "Shit I already know!" Could you put that in a memo, and entitle it "Shit I already know!"
765 00:42:30,527 00:42:34,397 Get on the horn with Command! Well, look who's up. Get on the horn with Command! Well, look who's up.
766 00:42:34,629 00:42:36,398 Rise 'n' shine, buttercup. Rise 'n' shine, buttercup.
767 00:42:41,151 00:42:48,015 Oh great... you broke my voice filter. You cock biting fucktards! Oh great... you broke my voice filter. You cock biting fucktards!
768 00:42:48,624 00:42:52,851 Ah-ha! I knew it! Only a chick could give me a headache this big! Ah-ha! I knew it! Only a chick could give me a headache this big!
769 00:42:52,852 00:42:54,787 How long have you guys been out here? How long have you guys been out here?
770 00:42:54,788 00:42:57,536 Let me get this straight... you're telling me that the guy that Let me get this straight... you're telling me that the guy that
771 00:42:57,537 00:43:00,929 showed up here, scared the living shit out of us, shot at Caboose showed up here, scared the living shit out of us, shot at Caboose
772 00:43:01,191 00:43:04,437 and beat the hell out of the reds wasn't a guy at all? That he was a chick? and beat the hell out of the reds wasn't a guy at all? That he was a chick?
773 00:43:04,802 00:43:07,128 And on top of that, she was your ex-girlfriend? And on top of that, she was your ex-girlfriend?
774 00:43:07,579 00:43:10,040 In a nutshell, yes. That's an excellent summary. In a nutshell, yes. That's an excellent summary.
775 00:43:10,476 00:43:13,116 I should have known... She didn't like me... I should have known... She didn't like me...
776 00:43:14,236 00:43:16,584 Girls, never, like me. Girls, never, like me.
777 00:43:16,585 00:43:18,638 Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you. Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you.
778 00:43:18,874 00:43:20,268 I like me... I like me...
779 00:43:20,269 00:43:22,771 I don't think I've seen a girl that mean before. Are you sure I don't think I've seen a girl that mean before. Are you sure
780 00:43:22,772 00:43:27,064 she's a chick? And not a guy? Or like, part guy part shark? she's a chick? And not a guy? Or like, part guy part shark?
781 00:43:27,594 00:43:29,919 I'm pretty sure I'd know if Tex was a guy. And I'm I'm pretty sure I'd know if Tex was a guy. And I'm
782 00:43:29,920 00:43:32,395 definitely sure I would know if she was part shark. definitely sure I would know if she was part shark.
783 00:43:32,396 00:43:37,397 Way, oh, wait oh wait. If she's a girl, then why is she named Tex? Way, oh, wait oh wait. If she's a girl, then why is she named Tex?
784 00:43:37,398 00:43:40,234 Uh... because she's from Texas. Uh... because she's from Texas.
785 00:43:42,016 00:43:45,985 Trust me, it makes sense. And you can't blame her for being Trust me, it makes sense. And you can't blame her for being
786 00:43:45,986 00:43:48,857 so aggressive. It's not entirely her fault to begin with. so aggressive. It's not entirely her fault to begin with.
787 00:43:48,858 00:43:52,871 Right. You should blame God. First he makes hangovers, and now, half Right. You should blame God. First he makes hangovers, and now, half
788 00:43:52,872 00:43:55,598 women, half sharks that won't even sleep with me. women, half sharks that won't even sleep with me.
789 00:43:55,913 00:43:57,512 Thanks for nothing, God! Thanks for nothing, God!
790 00:43:57,513 00:44:00,812 Will you shut up with that? She got recruited in to some kind of Will you shut up with that? She got recruited in to some kind of
791 00:44:00,813 00:44:04,915 weird experimental program back during basic where, they infused her weird experimental program back during basic where, they infused her
792 00:44:04,916 00:44:08,359 armor with this really aggressive A.I. I'm not really sure how it all armor with this really aggressive A.I. I'm not really sure how it all
793 00:44:08,360 00:44:11,771 works, but all I know is it made her meaner and tougher than hell. works, but all I know is it made her meaner and tougher than hell.
794 00:44:11,954 00:44:16,619 A.I... What's the A stand for? A.I... What's the A stand for?
795 00:44:16,851 00:44:17,924 Artificial. Artificial.
796 00:44:19,596 00:44:20,919 ...What's the I- ...What's the I-
797 00:44:20,920 00:44:22,532 Intelligence. Intelligence.
798 00:44:22,533 00:44:24,750 Ooohhhhhhhhh what was the A again? Ooohhhhhhhhh what was the A again?
799 00:44:24,751 00:44:25,969 Let's move on. Let's move on.
800 00:44:25,970 00:44:31,141 So, the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer. So, the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer.
801 00:44:31,471 00:44:34,788 But underneath it all she's really just a sweet, down-home girl? But underneath it all she's really just a sweet, down-home girl?
802 00:44:34,789 00:44:37,871 Oh hell no. She's always been a rotten bitch, it's just Oh hell no. She's always been a rotten bitch, it's just
803 00:44:37,872 00:44:40,476 now she's a rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements. now she's a rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements.
804 00:44:40,477 00:44:43,134 Wow. Sounds like you really won the lottery with that one. Wow. Sounds like you really won the lottery with that one.
805 00:44:43,491 00:44:45,981 Good catch there buddy, she's a keeper. Good catch there buddy, she's a keeper.
806 00:44:46,671 00:44:49,831 So how're you doing, Caboose? Are you following any of this whatsoever? So how're you doing, Caboose? Are you following any of this whatsoever?
807 00:44:49,842 00:44:55,922 I think so... That guy Tex is really a robot, and I think so... That guy Tex is really a robot, and
808 00:44:55,923 00:45:02,211 you're his boyfriend. So that makes you... a gay robot. you're his boyfriend. So that makes you... a gay robot.
809 00:45:03,665 00:45:07,546 Yeah... that's right... I'm a gay robot. Yeah... that's right... I'm a gay robot.
810 00:45:08,697 00:45:11,001 So, you're a girl, huh? So, you're a girl, huh?
811 00:45:13,335 00:45:14,928 Just ignore him, that's what I do. Just ignore him, that's what I do.
812 00:45:15,319 00:45:17,849 Not so tough now that we unloaded your weapon, are ya... Not so tough now that we unloaded your weapon, are ya...
813 00:45:18,144 00:45:21,088 Hey punk, I don't need a weapon to kill you. Hey punk, I don't need a weapon to kill you.
814 00:45:21,089 00:45:23,667 Yeah, right. What're you gonna do, punch me? Yeah, right. What're you gonna do, punch me?
815 00:45:25,393 00:45:26,892 Aaah, not the face! Aaah, not the face!
816 00:45:26,893 00:45:31,480 Well don't worry, because I have a great plan for how we're gonna rescue Tex. Well don't worry, because I have a great plan for how we're gonna rescue Tex.
817 00:45:31,481 00:45:36,755 A plan? Oh, man, I hate plans. That means we're gonna have to do stuff. A plan? Oh, man, I hate plans. That means we're gonna have to do stuff.
818 00:45:37,142 00:45:40,340 Can't we just have a strategy, or ...mission statement? Can't we just have a strategy, or ...mission statement?
819 00:45:40,341 00:45:43,472 I just need you guys to run a distraction, while I spring Tex. I just need you guys to run a distraction, while I spring Tex.
820 00:45:43,895 00:45:47,956 Distraction? Heh. That sounds a lot like "decoy." Distraction? Heh. That sounds a lot like "decoy."
821 00:45:48,319 00:45:51,419 The way I see it, the reds have absolutely no idea how many The way I see it, the reds have absolutely no idea how many
822 00:45:51,420 00:45:54,408 freelancers we have out here. So all I need from the two freelancers we have out here. So all I need from the two
823 00:45:54,409 00:45:56,820 of you, is to run around in the middle of the canyon, of you, is to run around in the middle of the canyon,
824 00:45:57,059 00:46:00,129 wearing black armor, while I sneak in the back of the base. wearing black armor, while I sneak in the back of the base.
825 00:46:00,642 00:46:04,798 Sounds good. But Church, where the hell are we gonna get two suits of black armor? Sounds good. But Church, where the hell are we gonna get two suits of black armor?
826 00:46:07,959 00:46:09,695 ...Oh fuckberries... ...Oh fuckberries...
827 00:46:13,341 00:46:14,631 Are you okay, Tucker? Are you okay, Tucker?
828 00:46:14,632 00:46:15,611 Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah, I'm fine.
829 00:46:17,593 00:46:18,778 Come on Caboose! Come on Caboose!
830 00:46:19,048 00:46:20,392 Does it hurt?! Does it hurt?!
831 00:46:20,393 00:46:21,539 No, not at all! No, not at all!
832 00:46:22,130 00:46:24,436 Okay! Here I come! Okay! Here I come!
833 00:46:26,291 00:46:27,545 Does it hurt for real? Does it hurt for real?
834 00:46:27,546 00:46:29,428 Oho, yeah. Big time. Oho, yeah. Big time.
835 00:46:32,265 00:46:33,923 Owwchie. Owwchie.
836 00:46:35,587 00:46:37,030 You lied to me. You lied to me.
837 00:46:37,031 00:46:42,832 Ah, dammit. Lopez. C'm'ere. Do you see something out there? Ah, dammit. Lopez. C'm'ere. Do you see something out there?
838 00:46:46,360 00:46:48,123 There's no L in it, it's pronounced both. There's no L in it, it's pronounced both.
839 00:46:48,124 00:46:50,890 That's what I'm saying. Bolth. That's what I'm saying. Bolth.
840 00:46:50,891 00:46:51,594 Both. Both.
841 00:46:51,595 00:46:54,072 You sound like such an ass the way you say it. You sound like such an ass the way you say it.
842 00:46:54,073 00:46:58,593 Grif! Quit your yammering and get your kicker up here. Need some help. Grif! Quit your yammering and get your kicker up here. Need some help.
843 00:46:59,171 00:47:01,955 Got more of them Special Ops fellas headed toward the base. Got more of them Special Ops fellas headed toward the base.
844 00:47:02,274 00:47:06,504 As in... more than one? Uh, maybe we should both go, sir. As in... more than one? Uh, maybe we should both go, sir.
845 00:47:06,839 00:47:08,144 Both. Both.
846 00:47:08,145 00:47:10,499 Seriously man, like an ass. Seriously man, like an ass.
847 00:47:10,972 00:47:14,639 Well, well. Another brilliant idea from the thinktank. Well, well. Another brilliant idea from the thinktank.
848 00:47:14,930 00:47:16,414 Why don't you both come up. Leave Why don't you both come up. Leave
849 00:47:16,415 00:47:19,333 the prisoner alone. We could just put her on the prisoner alone. We could just put her on
850 00:47:19,334 00:47:21,501 the honor system, have her guard herself. the honor system, have her guard herself.
851 00:47:21,502 00:47:22,398 Good point sir. Good point sir.
852 00:47:22,637 00:47:25,155 YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT IT IS! Now get your ass up YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT IT IS! Now get your ass up
853 00:47:25,156 00:47:27,638 here, we got just enough time for me to spraypaint here, we got just enough time for me to spraypaint
854 00:47:27,639 00:47:32,183 the bullseye on your back... Ah, by bullseye I the bullseye on your back... Ah, by bullseye I
855 00:47:32,443 00:47:36,793 of course mean camouflage. Now move it, cupcake. of course mean camouflage. Now move it, cupcake.
856 00:47:37,573 00:47:39,791 Yeah... I'll be right up. Yeah... I'll be right up.
857 00:47:40,365 00:47:44,953 Hey Tucker, come in man, are you there? This is Church, it's working. The orange Hey Tucker, come in man, are you there? This is Church, it's working. The orange
858 00:47:44,954 00:47:50,610 one is coming out of the base. I repeat, the orange one is coming out of the base. one is coming out of the base. I repeat, the orange one is coming out of the base.
859 00:47:51,084 00:47:52,054 Roger that. Roger that.
860 00:47:52,055 00:47:54,943 Oh, oh oh oh, Tucker, Tucker Tucker. Is that, is that Church? Oh, oh oh oh, Tucker, Tucker Tucker. Is that, is that Church?
861 00:47:55,151 00:47:59,426 Tell him, that I... I said... for me to say hi? Tell him, that I... I said... for me to say hi?
862 00:47:59,427 00:48:02,120 Whoa wait wait, hey. What? I missed that, Caboose Whoa wait wait, hey. What? I missed that, Caboose
863 00:48:02,121 00:48:04,916 was talking to me. Shut up man, I'm on the radio. was talking to me. Shut up man, I'm on the radio.
864 00:48:05,756 00:48:07,408 I said, just keep movin- I said, just keep movin-
865 00:48:07,409 00:48:09,375 I'm not yelling, I'm just telling you to let me I'm not yelling, I'm just telling you to let me
866 00:48:09,376 00:48:12,377 finish talking to Church... No, I'll tell him finish talking to Church... No, I'll tell him
867 00:48:12,378 00:48:16,144 you said 'hi' later. No you can't talk to him. How you said 'hi' later. No you can't talk to him. How
868 00:48:16,145 00:48:18,301 could you possibly talk to him on my headset? could you possibly talk to him on my headset?
869 00:48:18,624 00:48:23,417 Oh my God. I can't believe I actually died for this war. Oh my God. I can't believe I actually died for this war.
870 00:48:25,117 00:48:26,471 I don't see any... I don't see any...
871 00:48:26,751 00:48:28,988 Uh uh, yep, there's one. Uh uh, yep, there's one.
872 00:48:31,784 00:48:33,751 Why is he just standing there? Why is he just standing there?
873 00:48:33,752 00:48:37,003 Caboose, get behind the rock. They can still see you. Caboose, get behind the rock. They can still see you.
874 00:48:37,004 00:48:40,837 They can't see me. I can't see them! They can't see me. I can't see them!
875 00:48:41,008 00:48:43,420 That's because you're facing the rock. That's because you're facing the rock.
876 00:48:43,719 00:48:45,057 Oh. Right. Oh. Right.
877 00:48:46,049 00:48:48,197 Real smooth, dipshit. Real smooth, dipshit.
878 00:48:48,198 00:48:52,356 They're definitely Special Ops. I ain't seen troop movements They're definitely Special Ops. I ain't seen troop movements
879 00:48:52,357 00:48:55,827 this coordinated since my days on Sidewi... geekagerger! this coordinated since my days on Sidewi... geekagerger!
880 00:48:55,947 00:48:57,825 Sir, are you okay? Sir, are you okay?
881 00:48:58,729 00:49:01,185 Uh, who you talking to, Red, me? Uh, who you talking to, Red, me?
882 00:49:01,501 00:49:06,641 No. I'm talking to Lopez. Because, you know, that's real rewarding. No. I'm talking to Lopez. Because, you know, that's real rewarding.
883 00:49:08,517 00:49:09,976 Hey, what'd I tell you about that? Hey, what'd I tell you about that?
884 00:49:10,062 00:49:16,245 Oh, uh I, I'm fine, that's... I'm just so mad about, these uh, God Oh, uh I, I'm fine, that's... I'm just so mad about, these uh, God
885 00:49:16,246 00:49:20,181 damn blues out here. 'tslike I'm so God damn mad, I could spit! damn blues out here. 'tslike I'm so God damn mad, I could spit!
886 00:49:23,702 00:49:27,098 ...Um, sir? Did you just spit inside your own helmet? ...Um, sir? Did you just spit inside your own helmet?
887 00:49:27,099 00:49:29,902 Uh, yeah. I guess I did. Uh, yeah. I guess I did.
888 00:49:29,903 00:49:31,192 Permission to speak freely, sir? Permission to speak freely, sir?
889 00:49:31,193 00:49:32,115 Go ahead. Go ahead.
890 00:49:32,116 00:49:33,557 That's really fucking gross. That's really fucking gross.
891 00:49:33,558 00:49:34,560 Hey Tucker? Hey Tucker?
892 00:49:34,561 00:49:35,372 What? What?
893 00:49:35,787 00:49:39,997 I'm having a really good time... with... you. I'm having a really good time... with... you.
894 00:49:39,998 00:49:41,295 That's great, Caboose. That's great, Caboose.
895 00:49:41,296 00:49:44,703 Yeah, it's like we're real soldiers. Yeah, it's like we're real soldiers.
896 00:49:45,025 00:49:47,240 Would you please go hide behind another rock? Would you please go hide behind another rock?
897 00:49:49,233 00:49:51,640 Hey man. What's up yo? Hey man. What's up yo?
898 00:49:51,911 00:49:55,816 Uh... hey... what's going on out there sir? Uh... hey... what's going on out there sir?
899 00:49:56,213 00:49:59,937 What's uh, why, nothin'. Why would you ask if something's wrong? What's uh, why, nothin'. Why would you ask if something's wrong?
900 00:49:59,938 00:50:02,665 I think that's a perfectly normal question in a time of war. I think that's a perfectly normal question in a time of war.
901 00:50:02,943 00:50:07,003 Yeah well, I don't know. You're starting to act kinda suspicious Yeah well, I don't know. You're starting to act kinda suspicious
902 00:50:07,004 00:50:11,412 there, ...other red guy. So I'm keeping my eye on you. there, ...other red guy. So I'm keeping my eye on you.
903 00:50:11,413 00:50:13,312 Sarge, I'm starting to think that- Sarge, I'm starting to think that-
904 00:50:13,587 00:50:15,393 Ow, geez, the back of my head! Ow, geez, the back of my head!
905 00:50:15,394 00:50:16,776 What the hell are you doing!? What the hell are you doing!?
906 00:50:17,307 00:50:20,542 Tex! It's me, Church! I've come to rescue you. Tex! It's me, Church! I've come to rescue you.
907 00:50:20,738 00:50:22,472 You're kind of short to be Church. You're kind of short to be Church.
908 00:50:22,634 00:50:25,423 What? Oh yeah, right. The armor. What? Oh yeah, right. The armor.
909 00:50:25,424 00:50:33,281 Harurgh! What in sam Hell? Where the-Who spit on my visor? Harurgh! What in sam Hell? Where the-Who spit on my visor?
910 00:50:33,653 00:50:37,173 Tex, there's not much time to explain, so I'm just gonna give you the summary here, okay? Tex, there's not much time to explain, so I'm just gonna give you the summary here, okay?
911 00:50:37,324 00:50:41,788 I'm a spirit now, and I'm trapped in the physical world. I possessed this red guy, so that I'm a spirit now, and I'm trapped in the physical world. I possessed this red guy, so that
912 00:50:41,789 00:50:45,969 I could sneak in to the base and rescue you, while the rest of our guys run around out I could sneak in to the base and rescue you, while the rest of our guys run around out
913 00:50:45,970 00:50:48,010 in the middle of the canyon, dressed in black armor, in the middle of the canyon, dressed in black armor,
914 00:50:48,152 00:50:50,032 that they got from going through the teleporter. that they got from going through the teleporter.
915 00:50:50,885 00:50:51,385 ...Okay. ...Okay.
916 00:50:51,653 00:50:56,003 What... that's it? Okay? You're not surprised by any of this? What... that's it? Okay? You're not surprised by any of this?
917 00:50:56,248 00:50:58,970 No, it pretty much all makes sense. No, it pretty much all makes sense.
918 00:50:58,971 00:51:01,498 Not even the whole "Church is a ghost" thing? Not even the whole "Church is a ghost" thing?
919 00:51:01,499 00:51:02,822 That didn't do anything for ya? That didn't do anything for ya?
920 00:51:02,823 00:51:05,166 I can see right through you, it's pretty obvious... I can see right through you, it's pretty obvious...
921 00:51:05,723 00:51:08,444 Okay, well, let me hop back in this guy and we'll get outta here. Okay, well, let me hop back in this guy and we'll get outta here.
922 00:51:09,694 00:51:10,548 Harurghk! Harurghk!
923 00:51:11,069 00:51:12,229 What're you doing? What're you doing?
924 00:51:12,230 00:51:20,230 One of the reds has Tex. I'm going to shoot him, and kill him, and free Tex. One of the reds has Tex. I'm going to shoot him, and kill him, and free Tex.
925 00:51:21,675 00:51:26,426 Then Church will forgive me for killing him, and we will be friends. Then Church will forgive me for killing him, and we will be friends.
926 00:51:28,022 00:51:31,374 Oh, come on, you don't actually believe any of that, do you? Oh, come on, you don't actually believe any of that, do you?
927 00:51:31,748 00:51:35,632 Ohhh, we're gonna be best friends. Ohhh, we're gonna be best friends.
928 00:51:36,023 00:51:39,019 Alright, I'll make one more distraction, then you run up Alright, I'll make one more distraction, then you run up
929 00:51:39,020 00:51:44,940 to the teleporter, and escape. Ready? One... Two... Three! to the teleporter, and escape. Ready? One... Two... Three!
930 00:51:45,665 00:51:52,907 What the? Where did my body go? Oh, you've gotta be KIDDING me! What the? Where did my body go? Oh, you've gotta be KIDDING me!
931 00:51:52,908 00:51:53,995 Tucker did it! Tucker did it!
932 00:51:55,472 00:51:56,549 (echoing) Hello? (echoing) Hello?
933 00:52:03,855 00:52:06,605 Hello? I said hello? Hello? I said hello?
934 00:52:08,569 00:52:11,011 Hel-o. Is anybody out here? Hel-o. Is anybody out here?
935 00:52:12,201 00:52:15,712 Holy cow, would you stop yelling? I'm here. Holy cow, would you stop yelling? I'm here.
936 00:52:17,632 00:52:19,073 What is this place? What is this place?
937 00:52:19,544 00:52:25,153 Well, that's... kinda hard to explain. Uhm... Well, that's... kinda hard to explain. Uhm...
938 00:52:25,154 00:52:28,971 You were shot in the head, buddy. So, here you are. You were shot in the head, buddy. So, here you are.
939 00:52:29,832 00:52:30,954 Am I dead? Am I dead?
940 00:52:31,295 00:52:35,749 Are you dead, well, yeah, that's how I ended up here. Are you dead, well, yeah, that's how I ended up here.
941 00:52:35,963 00:52:37,873 Are you some kinda Angel? Are you some kinda Angel?
942 00:52:38,275 00:52:39,826 Aheh heh heh... am I an angel.. Aheh heh heh... am I an angel..
943 00:52:40,930 00:52:45,008 Uh, yeah, actually, I am, I'm an Angel. Um, do you wanna go to Heaven? Uh, yeah, actually, I am, I'm an Angel. Um, do you wanna go to Heaven?
944 00:52:45,009 00:52:47,068 'Cause it's, like, ten bucks to get in. 'Cause it's, like, ten bucks to get in.
945 00:52:47,069 00:52:51,738 Well I uh, I didn't really bring any, I mean, my wallet's back in the car. Well I uh, I didn't really bring any, I mean, my wallet's back in the car.
946 00:52:51,739 00:52:54,650 Hey you don't have it there, huh? Well uh, that's too bad. Hey you don't have it there, huh? Well uh, that's too bad.
947 00:52:55,748 00:52:58,137 Pretty crappy reason to be damned to Hell for an eternity. Pretty crappy reason to be damned to Hell for an eternity.
948 00:52:58,138 00:52:59,451 I don't remember dyin' I don't remember dyin'
949 00:52:59,932 00:53:03,708 Yeah, that's my fault too. I was... sort of possessing your Yeah, that's my fault too. I was... sort of possessing your
950 00:53:03,709 00:53:06,914 body at the time that you were shot. Sorry about that. body at the time that you were shot. Sorry about that.
951 00:53:06,915 00:53:09,221 Hold on a second, that ain't fair. Hold on a second, that ain't fair.
952 00:53:09,222 00:53:13,799 Not fair? Yeah, join the fricking club. I got shot by my own tank. Not fair? Yeah, join the fricking club. I got shot by my own tank.
953 00:53:14,376 00:53:15,774 Target locked. Target locked.
954 00:53:16,437 00:53:21,244 Oh ha ha, very funny Sheila. Shut up. You know I still haven't forgiven you. I didn't Oh ha ha, very funny Sheila. Shut up. You know I still haven't forgiven you. I didn't
955 00:53:21,245 00:53:26,359 say you could talk to me yet. Go there and get, go, get, go for the base. Shoo, shoo! say you could talk to me yet. Go there and get, go, get, go for the base. Shoo, shoo!
956 00:53:31,747 00:53:35,997 Sarge! Don't you give up on me soldier, do you hear me? I'm ordering you! Sarge! Don't you give up on me soldier, do you hear me? I'm ordering you!
957 00:53:35,998 00:53:38,505 Who is that? Who's there? Who is that? Who's there?
958 00:53:38,506 00:53:40,141 Looks like your guys are trying to save you. Looks like your guys are trying to save you.
959 00:53:40,142 00:53:43,872 You gotta breathe, man! You gotta pull through! Come on, Sarge! You gotta breathe, man! You gotta pull through! Come on, Sarge!
960 00:53:44,204 00:53:47,104 That is not the way you were trained to do that, Private! That is not the way you were trained to do that, Private!
961 00:53:47,330 00:53:48,535 He can't hear you. He can't hear you.
962 00:53:48,536 00:53:51,931 Grif, this isn't working. We have to try something else. Grif, this isn't working. We have to try something else.
963 00:53:51,932 00:53:54,046 If he gives you mouth to mouth, I'm leaving. If he gives you mouth to mouth, I'm leaving.
964 00:53:55,308 00:53:57,008 ...Maybe you should give him mouth to mouth. ...Maybe you should give him mouth to mouth.
965 00:53:57,009 00:53:58,226 I'm leaving. I'm leaving.
966 00:53:58,227 00:54:01,169 I can't believe how hard they're trying to save me. I can't believe how hard they're trying to save me.
967 00:54:01,170 00:54:04,718 Why wouldn't they? I mean, my team didn't, but, why wouldn't yours? Why wouldn't they? I mean, my team didn't, but, why wouldn't yours?
968 00:54:04,719 00:54:06,477 I thought they didn't like me. I thought they didn't like me.
969 00:54:06,803 00:54:09,990 Aw, don't sell yourself short. I don't even know ya, and Aw, don't sell yourself short. I don't even know ya, and
970 00:54:09,991 00:54:12,626 here I am about to guide you to Heaven for only five bucks. here I am about to guide you to Heaven for only five bucks.
971 00:54:12,627 00:54:17,439 Hold on, if you're an Angel, how come you ain't got no wings? Hold on, if you're an Angel, how come you ain't got no wings?
972 00:54:17,440 00:54:19,895 Because nobody rang a bell, ah heh heh heh. Because nobody rang a bell, ah heh heh heh.
973 00:54:19,896 00:54:21,712 Seriously, do you have the money or don't you? Seriously, do you have the money or don't you?
974 00:54:21,713 00:54:26,399 Oh I feel the worst about Grif. I always made fun of him. Oh I feel the worst about Grif. I always made fun of him.
975 00:54:27,361 00:54:31,458 I never even told him, he was my son. I never even told him, he was my son.
976 00:54:31,459 00:54:34,198 No way, the orange guy is your son? No way, the orange guy is your son?
977 00:54:34,199 00:54:37,836 Naw, I just wanted to screw with him one last time. Naw, I just wanted to screw with him one last time.
978 00:54:37,837 00:54:41,638 But now I'll never get that chance. But now I'll never get that chance.
979 00:54:42,100 00:54:44,751 He's breathing! We saved Sarge! He's breathing! We saved Sarge!
980 00:54:44,752 00:54:45,907 I'm what? I'm what?
981 00:54:45,908 00:54:46,836 He's what? He's what?
982 00:54:47,666 00:54:51,416 Well I'll be a monkey's... they saved me. Well I'll be a monkey's... they saved me.
983 00:54:52,470 00:54:56,470 What? No, come back! We need to even the sides! What? No, come back! We need to even the sides!
984 00:54:56,471 00:55:02,570 Thanks for your help, wingless Angel fella! Will I remember any of this? Thanks for your help, wingless Angel fella! Will I remember any of this?
985 00:55:03,371 00:55:05,494 Yes, but only if you give me two dollars! Yes, but only if you give me two dollars!
986 00:55:08,450 00:55:11,895 There. What... what happened here? There. What... what happened here?
987 00:55:12,312 00:55:15,850 Sir, you got shot in the head, so we gave you CPR and saved you, sir. Sir, you got shot in the head, so we gave you CPR and saved you, sir.
988 00:55:16,028 00:55:19,095 I always believed in you, Simmons. I always believed in you, Simmons.
989 00:55:19,096 00:55:22,416 Uh, actually, it's Grif you should thank sir. Uh, actually, it's Grif you should thank sir.
990 00:55:22,417 00:55:23,307 He did all the work. He did all the work.
991 00:55:23,625 00:55:24,715 Grif? Grif?
992 00:55:25,031 00:55:25,951 Yes sir. Yes sir.
993 00:55:27,091 00:55:31,766 Grif, why in Hell would you give somebody CPR for a bullet Grif, why in Hell would you give somebody CPR for a bullet
994 00:55:31,767 00:55:35,897 wound in the head!? That doesn't make a lick of sense. wound in the head!? That doesn't make a lick of sense.
995 00:55:36,090 00:55:38,873 You're welcome, sir. You're welcome, sir.
996 00:55:39,124 00:55:44,775 I mean it's all so damn inconsistent. What would you do if they stabbed me in the toe, rub my neck with aloe vera? I mean it's all so damn inconsistent. What would you do if they stabbed me in the toe, rub my neck with aloe vera?
997 00:55:47,318 00:55:49,745 Dude, this is sweet! Command was so happy that I got Dude, this is sweet! Command was so happy that I got
998 00:55:49,969 00:55:52,589 the blue flag, they gave me my own color armor! the blue flag, they gave me my own color armor!
999 00:55:55,667 00:55:57,126 Uh... hey Donut? Uh... hey Donut?
1000 00:55:57,480 00:55:57,955 What? What?
1001 00:55:57,956 00:55:59,824 Um, about your armor... Um, about your armor...
1002 00:56:00,039 00:56:01,306 What about it? What about it?
1003 00:56:01,307 00:56:07,477 How do I put this... Your armor is, um... It's a little, um... How do I put this... Your armor is, um... It's a little, um...
1004 00:56:08,407 00:56:10,090 Grif, uh, you wanna help me out here? Grif, uh, you wanna help me out here?
1005 00:56:10,349 00:56:13,067 It's pink. Your armor is fricking pink! It's pink. Your armor is fricking pink!
1006 00:56:13,383 00:56:16,547 Yeah, that's it. Pink. Yeah, that's it. Pink.
1007 00:56:16,728 00:56:18,680 Pink, my armor's not pink. Pink, my armor's not pink.
1008 00:56:18,826 00:56:19,823 Pink. Pink.
1009 00:56:19,824 00:56:21,672 Yeah, definitely pink. Yeah, definitely pink.
1010 00:56:22,002 00:56:26,208 You guys are colorblind. Why would they give me pink armor? You guys are colorblind. Why would they give me pink armor?
1011 00:56:26,463 00:56:28,649 Hey, donask, dontell. Hey, donask, dontell.
1012 00:56:28,965 00:56:31,230 Heh, that's not funny. Heh, that's not funny.
1013 00:56:31,231 00:56:33,787 It's a little funny. It's a little funny.
1014 00:56:33,788 00:56:38,127 Look at it, it's not pink. It's like uh... a lightish red. Look at it, it's not pink. It's like uh... a lightish red.
1015 00:56:38,690 00:56:41,700 Guess what: they already have a color for lightish red. Guess what: they already have a color for lightish red.
1016 00:56:41,701 00:56:43,511 You know what it's called? Pink. You know what it's called? Pink.
1017 00:56:44,859 00:56:46,058 I hate you guys. I hate you guys.
1018 00:56:46,944 00:56:51,492 Well hello, dirtbags... and a fine hello to you, madam. Well hello, dirtbags... and a fine hello to you, madam.
1019 00:56:51,678 00:56:53,312 It's light red. It's light red.
1020 00:56:54,366 00:56:56,421 Don't get your panties in a wad there, Barbie. Don't get your panties in a wad there, Barbie.
1021 00:56:57,822 00:56:59,329 Do you have a package for me? Do you have a package for me?
1022 00:56:59,731 00:57:00,548 Yessir. Yessir.
1023 00:57:00,669 00:57:01,730 Excellent. Excellent.
1024 00:57:01,731 00:57:04,080 They said this speech unit should work with Lopez. They said this speech unit should work with Lopez.
1025 00:57:05,260 00:57:06,617 Speech unit? Speech unit?
1026 00:57:06,618 00:57:07,476 Here you go. Here you go.
1027 00:57:07,834 00:57:11,252 Affirmative. Command was fresh out of speech modules Affirmative. Command was fresh out of speech modules
1028 00:57:11,253 00:57:14,181 when I first started building Lopez, but once I when I first started building Lopez, but once I
1029 00:57:14,182 00:57:17,276 get this baby installed, I'll finally have someone get this baby installed, I'll finally have someone
1030 00:57:17,277 00:57:21,355 intelligent to talk to... No offense, Simmons. intelligent to talk to... No offense, Simmons.
1031 00:57:21,927 00:57:23,808 Oh, don't worry, I know who you meant sir. Oh, don't worry, I know who you meant sir.
1032 00:57:23,809 00:57:26,358 Wait a second, Lopez is a robot? Wait a second, Lopez is a robot?
1033 00:57:26,359 00:57:29,044 Of course he is. You didn't notice that he never talks? Of course he is. You didn't notice that he never talks?
1034 00:57:29,045 00:57:31,424 I just thought he was a really quiet guy. I just thought he was a really quiet guy.
1035 00:57:31,982 00:57:36,580 And the fact that he sleeps standing up and drinks motor oil didn't get your attention. And the fact that he sleeps standing up and drinks motor oil didn't get your attention.
1036 00:57:36,581 00:57:39,139 Well I, I did think the motor oil thing was a bit odd... Well I, I did think the motor oil thing was a bit odd...
1037 00:57:39,699 00:57:41,681 Uh, I just thought he was trying to impress me. Uh, I just thought he was trying to impress me.
1038 00:57:41,947 00:57:45,780 Hey, sir. You really should ground yourself before handling that card. Hey, sir. You really should ground yourself before handling that card.
1039 00:57:46,063 00:57:46,981 How come? How come?
1040 00:57:46,982 00:57:49,204 Because static could damage the card. Because static could damage the card.
1041 00:57:49,205 00:57:52,687 Come on. That's an urban legend they use to sell those stupid bracelets. Come on. That's an urban legend they use to sell those stupid bracelets.
1042 00:57:53,791 00:57:57,272 And I suppose pop rocks and soda's gonna make my stomach blow up! And I suppose pop rocks and soda's gonna make my stomach blow up!
1043 00:57:57,599 00:57:58,540 Yow! Yow!
1044 00:57:58,816 00:58:01,176 Sir. I won't say I told you so, sir. Sir. I won't say I told you so, sir.
1045 00:58:01,531 00:58:05,774 Good. I'd hate to make Strawberry Shortcake here my new favorite Private. Good. I'd hate to make Strawberry Shortcake here my new favorite Private.
1046 00:58:05,910 00:58:08,702 It's not pink, it's lightish red! It's not pink, it's lightish red!
1047 00:58:10,163 00:58:16,093 Ah, man, uh, you know, this stuff does not come off easy? Ah, man, uh, you know, this stuff does not come off easy?
1048 00:58:16,619 00:58:20,698 Yeah, this was a lot easier when we were cleaning just my armor. Yeah, this was a lot easier when we were cleaning just my armor.
1049 00:58:20,699 00:58:25,457 Yeah, I know that, that's I think because you know uh, you didn't do anything. Yeah, I know that, that's I think because you know uh, you didn't do anything.
1050 00:58:26,009 00:58:28,520 I'm sorry, what? It's kind of hard to hear you I'm sorry, what? It's kind of hard to hear you
1051 00:58:28,521 00:58:30,554 over the sound of your constant team-killing. over the sound of your constant team-killing.
1052 00:58:30,828 00:58:34,526 Ah, ah, aaahhhh ha ha ha ha ah yeah, ah yeah Ah, ah, aaahhhh ha ha ha ha ah yeah, ah yeah
1053 00:58:34,527 00:58:38,834 aha, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh... Don't make me mad. aha, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh... Don't make me mad.
1054 00:58:38,835 00:58:43,403 So, what happened to me anyway? I recall something about a spider on my head? So, what happened to me anyway? I recall something about a spider on my head?
1055 00:58:43,542 00:58:45,587 Right. That was a grenade. Right. That was a grenade.
1056 00:58:45,588 00:58:50,197 And the last thing I remember, is a loud bang, and then Simmons fainting... And the last thing I remember, is a loud bang, and then Simmons fainting...
1057 00:58:50,519 00:58:52,007 Ha! Told you so! Ha! Told you so!
1058 00:58:52,014 00:58:53,300 I did not faint. I did not faint.
1059 00:58:54,106 00:59:00,242 Done and done. Lopez. Activate speech unit! Done and done. Lopez. Activate speech unit!
1060 00:59:02,243 00:59:09,059 Buenos días. Y la gracias da por activar mi función del discurso. Soy el número de Buenos días. Y la gracias da por activar mi función del discurso. Soy el número de
1061 00:59:09,060 00:59:12,476 modelo cero uno cero uno uno tres... modelo cero uno cero uno uno tres...
1062 00:59:12,477 00:59:14,957 Am I the only one not understanding any of this? Am I the only one not understanding any of this?
1063 00:59:15,297 00:59:16,982 Me llamo es Lopez. Me llamo es Lopez.
1064 00:59:16,983 00:59:20,843 Lopez, he just said Lopez! I understood that. Lopez, he just said Lopez! I understood that.
1065 00:59:21,173 00:59:22,611 I can speak Spanish! I can speak Spanish!
1066 00:59:23,142 00:59:26,896 Lopez. Speak, English. Lopez. Speak, English.
1067 00:59:27,641 00:59:33,117 Mi procesador Inglés tiene malfunctioned. Sé habla solamente español. Mi procesador Inglés tiene malfunctioned. Sé habla solamente español.
1068 00:59:33,319 00:59:37,588 Huh, I think you shorted out his speech unit with that static, sir. Huh, I think you shorted out his speech unit with that static, sir.
1069 00:59:38,366 00:59:41,148 Maybe Princess Peach here picked up the wrong model. Maybe Princess Peach here picked up the wrong model.
1070 00:59:41,275 00:59:44,297 Seriously dude. For the last time. Not pink. Seriously dude. For the last time. Not pink.
1071 00:59:44,298 00:59:50,562 Lopez. I order you to speak a language we understand. Lopez. I order you to speak a language we understand.
1072 00:59:50,804 00:59:51,973 Negativo. Negativo.
1073 00:59:51,974 00:59:59,974 Well this is just dandy. Lopez. How, do, we, fix, your, speech, u, -nit? Well this is just dandy. Lopez. How, do, we, fix, your, speech, u, -nit?
1074 01:00:03,047 01:00:06,324 Why are you talking so slow? He understands us just fine. Why are you talking so slow? He understands us just fine.
1075 01:00:06,325 01:00:08,202 Maybe you should try listening slower. Maybe you should try listening slower.
1076 01:00:08,491 01:00:11,123 Lopez, would you like to shoot Grif? Lopez, would you like to shoot Grif?
1077 01:00:11,220 01:00:13,566 Sí señor. Gracias. Sí señor. Gracias.
1078 01:00:15,494 01:00:17,560 As far as I'm concerned, I'm square with you. As far as I'm concerned, I'm square with you.
1079 01:00:18,079 01:00:22,172 I saved you from a life of imprisonment. How the hell are you square with me? I saved you from a life of imprisonment. How the hell are you square with me?
1080 01:00:23,632 01:00:26,885 Because I didn't kill you back at Sidewinder. Because I didn't kill you back at Sidewinder.
1081 01:00:28,240 01:00:29,910 You know, I don't really see how not killing You know, I don't really see how not killing
1082 01:00:29,911 01:00:32,859 somebody is the same thing as doing them a favor. somebody is the same thing as doing them a favor.
1083 01:00:33,732 01:00:37,161 Well, if you don't appreciate it, I could just kill you right now. Well, if you don't appreciate it, I could just kill you right now.
1084 01:00:37,162 01:00:40,892 No you can't, I'm already dead, bitch! I guess the joke's on you! No you can't, I'm already dead, bitch! I guess the joke's on you!
1085 01:00:40,893 01:00:48,893 Stop it! Stop fighting. Can't you see that you're tearing us apart? WHAT ABOUT US? Stop it! Stop fighting. Can't you see that you're tearing us apart? WHAT ABOUT US?
1086 01:00:50,093 01:00:51,415 What about you? What about you?
1087 01:00:51,690 01:00:58,018 We helped you too. And what do we get? Nothing! We helped you too. And what do we get? Nothing!
1088 01:00:58,019 01:00:59,155 Well yeah, but... Well yeah, but...
1089 01:00:59,156 01:01:01,443 Yeah, but nothin'. He's got a point. Yeah, but nothin'. He's got a point.
1090 01:01:01,724 01:01:03,468 I did help them get the flag back. I did help them get the flag back.
1091 01:01:03,753 01:01:07,565 Yeah, but you were paid to do that. We rescued you as a favor. We could have just Yeah, but you were paid to do that. We rescued you as a favor. We could have just
1092 01:01:07,566 01:01:10,738 let you rot in the red army prison, it wouldn't have made any difference to us. let you rot in the red army prison, it wouldn't have made any difference to us.
1093 01:01:11,315 01:01:14,962 Fine, I'll stay here as long as it takes to help you guys win this thing. Fine, I'll stay here as long as it takes to help you guys win this thing.
1094 01:01:15,724 01:01:19,692 As soon as I have, I'm outta here. What do you need me to do? As soon as I have, I'm outta here. What do you need me to do?
1095 01:01:20,112 01:01:23,453 I have no idea. If you knew how to fix a tank, I would have you do that. I have no idea. If you knew how to fix a tank, I would have you do that.
1096 01:01:23,918 01:01:24,899 ...okay. ...okay.
1097 01:01:25,398 01:01:30,713 Wait, you know how to fix Sheila? ...I love you. Wait, you know how to fix Sheila? ...I love you.
1098 01:01:30,714 01:01:34,675 Entonces la décias "tu nos pesos más, yo peso más." Entonces la décias "tu nos pesos más, yo peso más."
1099 01:01:34,676 01:01:38,174 Entonces pusieron los de nuestros cuerpos sobre la Entonces pusieron los de nuestros cuerpos sobre la
1100 01:01:38,175 01:01:41,597 escala y fue determinado quién tenía el peso más grande. escala y fue determinado quién tenía el peso más grande.
1101 01:01:41,709 01:01:46,092 Después de eso me llamarían Lopez la Pesado. Después de eso me llamarían Lopez la Pesado.
1102 01:01:46,444 01:01:49,485 Man. First he doesn't talk at all, and now we Man. First he doesn't talk at all, and now we
1103 01:01:49,486 01:01:51,421 can't get him to shut up. What's he saying? can't get him to shut up. What's he saying?
1104 01:01:51,728 01:01:52,942 What're you asking me for? What're you asking me for?
1105 01:01:53,088 01:01:57,797 Well you know, because you're of uh, a Latino persuasion. Well you know, because you're of uh, a Latino persuasion.
1106 01:01:57,983 01:02:00,700 Simmons isn't a Spanish name, you dumbass. I'm Dutch Irish. Simmons isn't a Spanish name, you dumbass. I'm Dutch Irish.
1107 01:02:00,832 01:02:01,926 But I thought- But I thought-
1108 01:02:01,927 01:02:02,630 What. What.
1109 01:02:02,765 01:02:04,197 Eh, never mind. Eh, never mind.
1110 01:02:06,538 01:02:07,663 ...I'm from Iowa. ...I'm from Iowa.
1111 01:02:07,664 01:02:08,860 Nobody cares! Nobody cares!
1112 01:02:12,557 01:02:15,108 Okay, take it easy guys, when I was over at Okay, take it easy guys, when I was over at
1113 01:02:15,109 01:02:16,982 the red base, I saw that they've already got the red base, I saw that they've already got
1114 01:02:16,983 01:02:19,825 their jeep fixed. So whatever you do, don't let their jeep fixed. So whatever you do, don't let
1115 01:02:19,826 01:02:22,875 'em see us before we get Sheila back online. 'em see us before we get Sheila back online.
1116 01:02:23,582 01:02:27,833 Okay, okay. Even if we get Sheila fixed, how are we going Okay, okay. Even if we get Sheila fixed, how are we going
1117 01:02:27,834 01:02:30,829 to turn her over, I mean it's not as if we could just lift! to turn her over, I mean it's not as if we could just lift!
1118 01:02:32,527 01:02:36,311 Oh. She is a very strong lady. Oh. She is a very strong lady.
1119 01:02:37,082 01:02:39,550 I'm the one that's the least visible, so I'm gonna head up here to higher I'm the one that's the least visible, so I'm gonna head up here to higher
1120 01:02:39,551 01:02:43,472 ground, I'll keep an eye on the red base. If I see anything, I'll let you know. ground, I'll keep an eye on the red base. If I see anything, I'll let you know.
1121 01:02:43,737 01:02:45,564 Great, I'll come with you! Great, I'll come with you!
1122 01:02:45,854 01:02:47,635 That kinda defeats the purpose, Caboose. That kinda defeats the purpose, Caboose.
1123 01:02:48,452 01:02:53,013 Okay. What if I'm really... really... Okay. What if I'm really... really...
1124 01:02:53,935 01:02:54,757 quiet? quiet?
1125 01:02:55,299 01:02:58,394 Do you even understand what the term 'visibility' means? Do you even understand what the term 'visibility' means?
1126 01:02:58,395 01:03:03,005 Ah hah hah, uhh.... good one Church. Ah hah hah, uhh.... good one Church.
1127 01:03:03,006 01:03:04,911 Seriously. You don't know what it means, do you. Seriously. You don't know what it means, do you.
1128 01:03:05,083 01:03:06,354 Uh no. Uh no.
1129 01:03:07,337 01:03:11,624 Caboose, just stay here man, and try not to swallow your tongue or anything like that. Caboose, just stay here man, and try not to swallow your tongue or anything like that.
1130 01:03:12,498 01:03:15,244 Just watch the red base, and tell us if you see any movement. Just watch the red base, and tell us if you see any movement.
1131 01:03:17,749 01:03:21,030 So, I suppose if you're helping us, you're not as mean as I thought. So, I suppose if you're helping us, you're not as mean as I thought.
1132 01:03:21,619 01:03:25,568 I wouldn't say I'm mean, I just get hired to do mean things. I wouldn't say I'm mean, I just get hired to do mean things.
1133 01:03:25,569 01:03:27,025 Yeah, but you like it. Yeah, but you like it.
1134 01:03:27,892 01:03:30,166 Well I think it's important to enjoy what you do. Well I think it's important to enjoy what you do.
1135 01:03:30,167 01:03:37,118 So let's say I paid you to kill Caboose. You would still do it, right? So let's say I paid you to kill Caboose. You would still do it, right?
1136 01:03:37,119 01:03:38,887 Even though you're supposed to be helping us? Even though you're supposed to be helping us?
1137 01:03:39,860 01:03:44,007 Is this a hypothetical discussion, or should we start talking numbers? Is this a hypothetical discussion, or should we start talking numbers?
1138 01:03:44,008 01:03:46,241 Yeah, I don't wanna talk about this any more. Yeah, I don't wanna talk about this any more.
1139 01:03:46,242 01:03:47,460 Hey Tucker! Hey Tucker!
1140 01:03:47,461 01:03:48,130 What!? What!?
1141 01:03:48,131 01:03:50,771 What the hell is my body still doing up here? What the hell is my body still doing up here?
1142 01:03:50,772 01:03:53,536 That's part of being dead, Church. Your body doesn't really move That's part of being dead, Church. Your body doesn't really move
1143 01:03:53,537 01:03:56,806 around much any more. Maybe you haven't fully grasped the concept yet. around much any more. Maybe you haven't fully grasped the concept yet.
1144 01:03:56,807 01:03:58,806 Alright, well let me rephrase that then. Why Alright, well let me rephrase that then. Why
1145 01:03:58,807 01:04:01,349 in the hell haven't you buried my body yet? in the hell haven't you buried my body yet?
1146 01:04:01,350 01:04:05,152 Buried? With what? All we have are pistols and rifles. Buried? With what? All we have are pistols and rifles.
1147 01:04:05,490 01:04:07,811 What do you want me to do, shoot you a grave? What do you want me to do, shoot you a grave?
1148 01:04:07,812 01:04:09,826 Well then how about shipping me back home. You Well then how about shipping me back home. You
1149 01:04:09,827 01:04:12,367 know, let the loved ones pay a little respect. know, let the loved ones pay a little respect.
1150 01:04:12,368 01:04:16,150 Well Church, here's your girlfriend. Tex, as one of Well Church, here's your girlfriend. Tex, as one of
1151 01:04:16,151 01:04:19,259 Church's loved ones, would you like to pay your respects? Church's loved ones, would you like to pay your respects?
1152 01:04:22,300 01:04:25,404 That was a stirring eulogy. Rest in peace, good buddy! That was a stirring eulogy. Rest in peace, good buddy!
1153 01:04:34,669 01:04:35,744 I am not happy about this. I am not happy about this.
1154 01:04:36,368 01:04:43,149 I have an idea... I have an idea! I have an idea... I have an idea!
1155 01:04:43,150 01:04:46,474 Yeah, we heard you the first time, Caboose, we were just ignoring you. Yeah, we heard you the first time, Caboose, we were just ignoring you.
1156 01:04:46,475 01:04:49,541 Since you possessed that red guy, and took control Since you possessed that red guy, and took control
1157 01:04:49,542 01:04:54,620 of him, why don't you just possess your own body? of him, why don't you just possess your own body?
1158 01:04:55,030 01:04:59,208 Oh I see, so that way I would be living inside of my own dead body. Oh I see, so that way I would be living inside of my own dead body.
1159 01:04:59,671 01:05:00,189 Yes. Yes.
1160 01:05:00,300 01:05:05,303 Unable to move, just, laying there, rotting in the sun for all eternity. Unable to move, just, laying there, rotting in the sun for all eternity.
1161 01:05:05,304 01:05:06,395 Yes. Yes.
1162 01:05:06,396 01:05:08,887 Okay Caboose, I'll be sure to get right on that. Okay Caboose, I'll be sure to get right on that.
1163 01:05:09,375 01:05:11,360 I think you are a mean ghost. I think you are a mean ghost.
1164 01:05:11,361 01:05:12,558 Dude, you really stink. Dude, you really stink.
1165 01:05:13,302 01:05:13,802 What? What?
1166 01:05:14,222 01:05:15,960 Your body, it stinks. Your body, it stinks.
1167 01:05:16,329 01:05:20,156 Tucker, the first chance we get, you are going to bury my body. Tucker, the first chance we get, you are going to bury my body.
1168 01:05:20,599 01:05:23,343 Quit your bitching, nothing's going to happen to it. Quit your bitching, nothing's going to happen to it.
1169 01:05:23,344 01:05:26,642 It's a freaking indignity! My body fought hard for It's a freaking indignity! My body fought hard for
1170 01:05:26,643 01:05:29,726 this army, and it deserves to be laid to rest. this army, and it deserves to be laid to rest.
1171 01:05:30,161 01:05:33,828 Get over it, you're already dead. What's the worst that could happen now? Get over it, you're already dead. What's the worst that could happen now?
1172 01:05:34,246 01:05:40,497 Hey, Church, look, birds! Why are they flying around in circles? Hey, Church, look, birds! Why are they flying around in circles?
1173 01:05:40,498 01:05:41,892 Nuh, God. Nuh, God.
1174 01:05:42,695 01:05:49,410 Okay, I'll go again. I spy something, that begins with... Okay, I'll go again. I spy something, that begins with...
1175 01:05:49,411 01:05:50,312 Dirt. Dirt.
1176 01:05:50,313 01:05:51,643 Damn! How did you- Damn! How did you-
1177 01:05:51,644 01:05:53,975 Well, because you did rock last time. That's Well, because you did rock last time. That's
1178 01:05:53,976 01:05:56,470 all that's out here, is rock and dirt. all that's out here, is rock and dirt.
1179 01:05:57,285 01:05:59,394 Yeah, this canyon sucks. Yeah, this canyon sucks.
1180 01:05:59,395 01:06:01,971 How long do you figure until Tex fixes the tank? How long do you figure until Tex fixes the tank?
1181 01:06:02,244 01:06:05,194 Not much longer, she said it's going pretty well. The gun's Not much longer, she said it's going pretty well. The gun's
1182 01:06:05,195 01:06:07,239 almost working, and then she'll get it moving again. almost working, and then she'll get it moving again.
1183 01:06:07,240 01:06:08,981 Oh, that's just fantastic. Oh, that's just fantastic.
1184 01:06:09,495 01:06:11,000 Why would that upset you? Why would that upset you?
1185 01:06:11,001 01:06:13,202 Because as soon as she gets the tank online, she's gonna Because as soon as she gets the tank online, she's gonna
1186 01:06:13,231 01:06:15,854 use it against the reds, and they're all gonna die. use it against the reds, and they're all gonna die.
1187 01:06:15,977 01:06:17,670 The reds dying is a good thing. The reds dying is a good thing.
1188 01:06:17,938 01:06:23,293 No Tucker, it's not a good thing. As soon as we beat the reds, Tex is outta here. No Tucker, it's not a good thing. As soon as we beat the reds, Tex is outta here.
1189 01:06:24,042 01:06:27,282 And I still haven't figured out a way to get that A.I. out of her head. And I still haven't figured out a way to get that A.I. out of her head.
1190 01:06:27,283 01:06:28,924 A.I. A.I.
1191 01:06:28,925 01:06:32,553 Shut up, Caboose. And if I don't get it out before she leaves... Shut up, Caboose. And if I don't get it out before she leaves...
1192 01:06:32,554 01:06:34,443 If she leaves you won't ever find her again. If she leaves you won't ever find her again.
1193 01:06:34,444 01:06:35,269 Right. Right.
1194 01:06:35,270 01:06:36,453 So what're you gonna do? So what're you gonna do?
1195 01:06:36,715 01:06:39,619 I guess I'm gonna do the only thing that I can do. I guess I'm gonna do the only thing that I can do.
1196 01:06:40,013 01:06:42,677 I have to warn the reds before she fixes the tank. I have to warn the reds before she fixes the tank.
1197 01:06:42,769 01:06:44,305 You're switching sides? You're switching sides?
1198 01:06:44,306 01:06:46,759 Sorry guys. I don't have much choice. Sorry guys. I don't have much choice.
1199 01:06:47,195 01:06:54,067 Church, uh, wha, what happens when the reds out here, to stop Church, uh, wha, what happens when the reds out here, to stop
1200 01:06:54,384 01:06:59,365 Tex, and then they come also with guns and they find us? Tex, and then they come also with guns and they find us?
1201 01:06:59,661 01:07:03,389 I'll try to help you as best I can. Good luck guys. I'll try to help you as best I can. Good luck guys.
1202 01:07:04,366 01:07:07,058 Does this mean I should try to kill Church now? Does this mean I should try to kill Church now?
1203 01:07:07,059 01:07:10,732 I tell you what. Kill me. I promise not to come back. I tell you what. Kill me. I promise not to come back.
1204 01:07:12,874 01:07:16,009 Hey! Look at this! Hey! Look at this!
1205 01:07:16,383 01:07:17,193 No. No.
1206 01:07:17,194 01:07:20,680 They have, a girl. They have a girl! They have, a girl. They have a girl!
1207 01:07:20,838 01:07:21,918 A what? A what?
1208 01:07:21,919 01:07:24,499 A girl, a girl! Look, pink armor! A girl, a girl! Look, pink armor!
1209 01:07:24,712 01:07:27,388 Oh man, how come they get a girl? Oh man, how come they get a girl?
1210 01:07:27,823 01:07:30,089 Uh, you guys realize that I'm a chick, right? Uh, you guys realize that I'm a chick, right?
1211 01:07:30,090 01:07:33,009 And that I'm standin' right here? And that I'm standin' right here?
1212 01:07:33,010 01:07:36,161 Yeah Tex, but when we say a girl, we mean a girl girl. Yeah Tex, but when we say a girl, we mean a girl girl.
1213 01:07:36,659 01:07:38,300 And what the hell does that mean? And what the hell does that mean?
1214 01:07:39,046 01:07:39,546 Nothing! Nothing!
1215 01:07:41,995 01:07:44,888 Wait a second. If Tex heard that, do you think she Wait a second. If Tex heard that, do you think she
1216 01:07:44,889 01:07:47,434 heard Church's secret plan to warn the reds about her? heard Church's secret plan to warn the reds about her?
1217 01:07:47,435 01:07:53,141 I don't know... but I think I know how to find out. I don't know... but I think I know how to find out.
1218 01:07:54,866 01:08:01,628 Hey... Tex! Uh... Did you hear Church's secret plan Hey... Tex! Uh... Did you hear Church's secret plan
1219 01:08:01,629 01:08:06,636 to tell the reds that you were fixing the tank? to tell the reds that you were fixing the tank?
1220 01:08:12,063 01:08:17,472 I don't think she knows... I don't think she knows...
1221 01:08:24,274 01:08:24,957 Hey. Hey.
1222 01:08:25,193 01:08:25,995 Yeah? Yeah?
1223 01:08:26,173 01:08:27,649 You ever wonder why we're here? You ever wonder why we're here?
1224 01:08:28,661 01:08:33,132 No. I never, ever wonder why we're here. Semper Fi, bitch. No. I never, ever wonder why we're here. Semper Fi, bitch.
1225 01:08:33,570 01:08:34,912 Keegakergerk! Keegakergerk!
1226 01:08:34,982 01:08:36,713 What? What's wrong with Lopez? What? What's wrong with Lopez?
1227 01:08:36,714 01:08:37,618 I don't care. I don't care.
1228 01:08:37,619 01:08:39,542 Hey, Lopez, uh... you okay man? Hey, Lopez, uh... you okay man?
1229 01:08:48,963 01:08:50,690 Um... Sure... Um... Sure...
1230 01:08:56,827 01:08:59,894 Aw, crap. Caboose, she's almost done fixing Sheila. Aw, crap. Caboose, she's almost done fixing Sheila.
1231 01:08:59,895 01:09:02,145 I better radio Church and tell him what's going on. I better radio Church and tell him what's going on.
1232 01:09:02,304 01:09:06,866 Oh, oh, oh, Tucker please, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, please- Oh, oh, oh, Tucker please, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, please-
1233 01:09:06,867 01:09:08,944 Yes, you can be the one who radios Church. Yes, you can be the one who radios Church.
1234 01:09:09,113 01:09:10,619 Thanks man. Thanks man.
1235 01:09:11,728 01:09:18,390 Calling Church. Come in Church. This is your Calling Church. Come in Church. This is your
1236 01:09:18,391 01:09:22,367 close, personal friend, Private O'Malley. close, personal friend, Private O'Malley.
1237 01:09:22,368 01:09:25,267 O'Malley? You said your name was Caboose. O'Malley? You said your name was Caboose.
1238 01:09:25,268 01:09:27,358 I never said that, you guys did! I never said that, you guys did!
1239 01:09:27,359 01:09:28,815 Why didn't you correct us? Why didn't you correct us?
1240 01:09:28,939 01:09:31,072 Because I didn't want to be difficult. Because I didn't want to be difficult.
1241 01:09:31,435 01:09:36,727 Come in Private Church. Do you copy. Soldier unit Tex Come in Private Church. Do you copy. Soldier unit Tex
1242 01:09:36,728 01:09:41,128 almost has the armor vehicle situation rectified. almost has the armor vehicle situation rectified.
1243 01:09:41,484 01:09:46,798 Okay. We require verification of your... mission... Okay. We require verification of your... mission...
1244 01:09:46,962 01:09:51,710 ness. (clears throat) How is your progression? ness. (clears throat) How is your progression?
1245 01:10:01,250 01:10:02,776 ...He says he wants to talk to you. ...He says he wants to talk to you.
1246 01:10:03,028 01:10:06,885 Thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank. Thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank.
1247 01:10:07,053 01:10:10,167 Oh shit. We got trouble. Oh shit. We got trouble.
1248 01:10:10,322 01:10:14,419 Un tanque... grrrande. Un tanque... grrrande.
1249 01:10:14,420 01:10:18,990 Hey. I think if you're gonna live in this country, you should speak the language. Hey. I think if you're gonna live in this country, you should speak the language.
1250 01:10:18,991 01:10:21,291 What country? We're on an alien planet. What country? We're on an alien planet.
1251 01:10:21,292 01:10:22,531 What're you, a Communist? What're you, a Communist?
1252 01:10:23,571 01:10:24,682 Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch!
1253 01:10:24,683 01:10:25,480 Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch!
1254 01:10:25,556 01:10:27,316 ¡MADRE DE DIOS! ¡MADRE DE DIOS!
1255 01:10:27,814 01:10:30,543 Okay, I'm getting really sick of asking people Okay, I'm getting really sick of asking people
1256 01:10:30,544 01:10:32,184 what's going on through that sniper rifle. what's going on through that sniper rifle.
1257 01:10:32,373 01:10:34,069 Church is getting mad at us. Church is getting mad at us.
1258 01:10:34,270 01:10:37,181 Ohhhhh. Well that's a nice change of pace. Ohhhhh. Well that's a nice change of pace.
1259 01:10:37,454 01:10:40,889 Simmons. I'm coming around in the Warthog. Get Simmons. I'm coming around in the Warthog. Get
1260 01:10:40,890 01:10:43,480 ready to take the gunner position when I come by. ready to take the gunner position when I come by.
1261 01:10:43,481 01:10:44,456 Roger that. Roger that.
1262 01:10:45,386 01:10:47,204 I'll uh... I'll stay here. I'll uh... I'll stay here.
1263 01:10:47,509 01:10:50,327 Yeah. Stay here, and guard this cement ramp. Yeah. Stay here, and guard this cement ramp.
1264 01:10:50,328 01:10:52,191 It's vital to our success. It's vital to our success.
1265 01:10:54,213 01:10:55,378 Alright, I'm on board. Alright, I'm on board.
1266 01:10:55,379 01:10:57,195 Alright, here's the plan- Alright, here's the plan-
1267 01:10:57,583 01:10:58,747 JUNEBUG! JUNEBUG!
1268 01:11:02,110 01:11:05,403 Wow, back so soon? You guys win the war already? Wow, back so soon? You guys win the war already?
1269 01:11:06,011 01:11:09,025 Yeah, uh, did you want to finish telling me the plan now, Sarge? Yeah, uh, did you want to finish telling me the plan now, Sarge?
1270 01:11:09,026 01:11:14,472 If we survive this, I'm gonna kill both of ya. Slowly. If we survive this, I'm gonna kill both of ya. Slowly.
1271 01:11:15,833 01:11:19,220 Uh, hey Simmons? By the way. The ramp is secure. Uh, hey Simmons? By the way. The ramp is secure.
1272 01:11:19,221 01:11:20,704 Target locked. Target locked.
1273 01:11:21,782 01:11:23,754 Hey, what're you guys doin' up here!? Hey, what're you guys doin' up here!?
1274 01:11:23,755 01:11:25,415 That chick in the black armor's back! That chick in the black armor's back!
1275 01:11:25,416 01:11:28,511 What chick, the one that stuck the grenade to my head? What chick, the one that stuck the grenade to my head?
1276 01:11:28,512 01:11:29,564 That's the one. That's the one.
1277 01:11:29,565 01:11:32,890 The same chick whose fault it is that I'm stuck in this light red armor? The same chick whose fault it is that I'm stuck in this light red armor?
1278 01:11:32,891 01:11:35,939 Donut, I understand the need to safeguard your masculinity, Donut, I understand the need to safeguard your masculinity,
1279 01:11:35,940 01:11:39,129 but really dude. It's a whole lot faster just to say pink. but really dude. It's a whole lot faster just to say pink.
1280 01:11:39,130 01:11:41,938 Ohhuw. Oh I been waiting for this. Ohhuw. Oh I been waiting for this.
1281 01:11:42,272 01:11:46,447 Hey Bitch! Remember me!? I saved something for ya! Hey Bitch! Remember me!? I saved something for ya!
1282 01:11:56,563 01:11:59,728 Man, that girl's got a really good arm. Man, that girl's got a really good arm.
1283 01:11:59,998 01:12:02,287 Aw crap! Aw crap!
1284 01:12:02,830 01:12:06,718 Hell yeah! Three points, you dirty whore! Hell yeah! Three points, you dirty whore!
1285 01:12:08,880 01:12:10,485 ¡Dios mío, no! ¡Dios mío, no!
1286 01:12:11,891 01:12:13,279 ¡Tejas, Tejas! ¡Tejas, Tejas!
1287 01:12:13,521 01:12:15,369 Uh... where's Lopez going? Uh... where's Lopez going?
1288 01:12:15,575 01:12:22,627 To fight the enemy, head on, in hand to hand combat. Mano e mano. To fight the enemy, head on, in hand to hand combat. Mano e mano.
1289 01:12:22,628 01:12:28,865 What a brave little compadre. Lopez, I never understood a word you said. What a brave little compadre. Lopez, I never understood a word you said.
1290 01:12:28,866 01:12:34,645 But I do know one thing. You hated Grif, and that's the But I do know one thing. You hated Grif, and that's the
1291 01:12:34,646 01:12:41,379 most important thing there is. Adios, amigo... Adios. most important thing there is. Adios, amigo... Adios.
1292 01:12:41,854 01:12:43,342 Shouldn't we help him? Shouldn't we help him?
1293 01:12:43,343 01:12:47,461 Naw... That would just ruin the moment. Naw... That would just ruin the moment.
1294 01:12:48,486 01:12:53,084 Church, is that you? It, it's gone, Church. Church, is that you? It, it's gone, Church.
1295 01:12:53,156 01:12:58,738 The A.I., it's gone. Thank you. Heeeee, bleah... The A.I., it's gone. Thank you. Heeeee, bleah...
1296 01:12:58,739 01:13:02,017 Crap. Church is gonna be pissed, and now he's got a body Crap. Church is gonna be pissed, and now he's got a body
1297 01:13:02,018 01:13:05,394 to kick our ass. Come on Caboose, let's get back to base. to kick our ass. Come on Caboose, let's get back to base.
1298 01:13:05,558 01:13:08,887 I told you, my name isn't Caboose... I told you, my name isn't Caboose...
1299 01:13:11,100 01:13:14,892 My name... is... O'Malley... My name... is... O'Malley...
1300 01:13:14,917 01:13:19,728 © 2013 GV © 2013 GV