# Start End Original Translated
1 00:01:09,120 00:01:11,150 JOHN LURIE: So, I have a bird in my room. JOHN LURIE: So, I have a bird in my room.
2 00:01:11,180 00:01:13,030 He's right there, He's right there,
3 00:01:13,040 00:01:15,030 and I don't know how to get him out. and I don't know how to get him out.
4 00:01:15,040 00:01:17,210 And I feel bad for him, 'cause I was chasing him around, And I feel bad for him, 'cause I was chasing him around,
5 00:01:18,000 00:01:20,230 and now he's all exhausted. It's like-- and now he's all exhausted. It's like--
6 00:01:21,010 00:01:22,210 You could see it, 'cause he was like-- You could see it, 'cause he was like--
7 00:01:23,000 00:01:25,060 The bird was like... (PANTS) The bird was like... (PANTS)
8 00:01:25,090 00:01:28,210 He had his mouth wide open, like he was gasping for air. He had his mouth wide open, like he was gasping for air.
9 00:01:28,230 00:01:32,120 I'm gonna give one last thing. Hey, bird. I'm gonna give one last thing. Hey, bird.
10 00:01:32,150 00:01:34,120 Can you see him? Erik? Can you see him? Erik?
11 00:01:34,150 00:01:36,180 -ERIK MOCKUS: Yeah, I think I can see him. -JOHN: Yeah. -ERIK MOCKUS: Yeah, I think I can see him. -JOHN: Yeah.
12 00:01:36,200 00:01:38,070 JOHN: Yeah, you actually see him? JOHN: Yeah, you actually see him?
13 00:01:38,090 00:01:39,140 All right, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna All right, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna
14 00:01:39,150 00:01:41,030 try to get you out of here again. try to get you out of here again.
15 00:01:41,040 00:01:42,210 I really feel bad about this. I really feel bad about this.
16 00:01:43,150 00:01:45,000 But here we go. But here we go.
17 00:01:48,150 00:01:51,030 No, no, no. That's not where you wanna be. No, no, no. That's not where you wanna be.
18 00:01:51,040 00:01:52,150 You don't wanna be there. You don't wanna be there.
19 00:01:52,170 00:01:54,090 I'm gonna move this. I'm gonna move this.
20 00:01:55,030 00:01:56,120 Oh, you're gonna hang on? Oh, you're gonna hang on?
21 00:01:57,120 00:01:59,030 What do you think is happening? What do you think is happening?
22 00:02:02,180 00:02:03,230 Oh, come on. Oh, come on.
23 00:02:07,180 00:02:08,220 Just go outside. Just go outside.
24 00:02:10,000 00:02:11,090 Outside. Outside.
25 00:02:11,120 00:02:13,210 See, you come down and fly outside. See, you come down and fly outside.
26 00:02:13,220 00:02:15,090 I am your friend. (CHUCKLES) I am your friend. (CHUCKLES)
27 00:02:17,150 00:02:19,110 Where did he go? Where did he go?
28 00:02:19,120 00:02:22,170 I feel terrible for him. I would just leave it alone. I feel terrible for him. I would just leave it alone.
29 00:02:22,180 00:02:25,090 I don't wanna-- wanna sleep with here-- in here with him. I don't wanna-- wanna sleep with here-- in here with him.
30 00:02:27,030 00:02:30,000 (BIRDS SINGING) (BIRDS SINGING)
31 00:02:32,120 00:02:33,150 So, I live on this... So, I live on this...
32 00:02:35,060 00:02:37,110 small island in the Caribbean. small island in the Caribbean.
33 00:02:40,020 00:02:43,110 I've been here for six, almost seven years. I've been here for six, almost seven years.
34 00:02:47,110 00:02:49,120 This guy Leroy, This guy Leroy,
35 00:02:49,130 00:02:51,000 I wasn't really well enough to drive, I wasn't really well enough to drive,
36 00:02:51,020 00:02:53,210 but I was trying to get into the water every day. but I was trying to get into the water every day.
37 00:02:56,090 00:02:57,120 And Leroy would drive me. And Leroy would drive me.
38 00:02:57,150 00:02:59,020 He used to live in a different place He used to live in a different place
39 00:02:59,030 00:03:00,130 way on the top of this hill. way on the top of this hill.
40 00:03:00,150 00:03:03,160 You go down this dusty road, and there'd be kids playing You go down this dusty road, and there'd be kids playing
41 00:03:03,180 00:03:06,220 and chickens and baby pigs running on the road. and chickens and baby pigs running on the road.
42 00:03:07,180 00:03:08,220 Nice up there. Nice up there.
43 00:03:10,080 00:03:11,160 Leroy would pick me up, Leroy would pick me up,
44 00:03:11,180 00:03:15,210 and we would drive down the hill to the water. and we would drive down the hill to the water.
45 00:03:19,030 00:03:20,220 And we kept seeing this guy... And we kept seeing this guy...
46 00:03:22,130 00:03:24,030 skinny white guy. skinny white guy.
47 00:03:25,060 00:03:26,180 He must have been 80. He must have been 80.
48 00:03:28,180 00:03:31,150 And on a bicycle. And on a bicycle.
49 00:03:31,180 00:03:36,000 And he'd be going up the hill, like "bump-bump-bump-bum--" And he'd be going up the hill, like "bump-bump-bump-bum--"
50 00:03:36,020 00:03:37,060 I mean just, like... I mean just, like...
51 00:03:38,090 00:03:40,190 so hard that it was just, like, so hard that it was just, like,
52 00:03:40,210 00:03:43,020 you would look at him and your mouth would fall open. you would look at him and your mouth would fall open.
53 00:03:43,030 00:03:44,210 Like, this old guy going up the hill Like, this old guy going up the hill
54 00:03:45,000 00:03:46,150 in 100-degree weather. in 100-degree weather.
55 00:03:46,180 00:03:49,110 It's like, how is he doing it? Why is he doing it? It's like, how is he doing it? Why is he doing it?
56 00:03:49,120 00:03:51,130 You know, like, is he doing it for his health? You know, like, is he doing it for his health?
57 00:03:53,150 00:03:54,220 Why is he doing it? Why is he doing it?
58 00:03:57,030 00:03:58,150 And then, one day, he was gone. And then, one day, he was gone.
59 00:04:00,210 00:04:01,210 We saw him every day, We saw him every day,
60 00:04:02,000 00:04:04,030 and then one day, we didn't see him anymore. and then one day, we didn't see him anymore.
61 00:04:05,210 00:04:07,030 And I said to Leroy... And I said to Leroy...
62 00:04:10,190 00:04:12,120 "Maybe he exploded." "Maybe he exploded."
63 00:04:16,170 00:04:18,100 And then we used to go to this other place, And then we used to go to this other place,
64 00:04:18,120 00:04:21,100 into this bay where Leroy didn't like driving 'cause... into this bay where Leroy didn't like driving 'cause...
65 00:04:22,060 00:04:23,120 it's a bumpy road it's a bumpy road
66 00:04:23,130 00:04:26,120 and he didn't like his van going down this bumpy, bumpy road. and he didn't like his van going down this bumpy, bumpy road.
67 00:04:28,050 00:04:31,190 But we'd go there and buy fish when the guys came in. But we'd go there and buy fish when the guys came in.
68 00:04:31,220 00:04:34,040 Like one in the afternoon, they come in Like one in the afternoon, they come in
69 00:04:34,060 00:04:36,010 with snapper and lobster. with snapper and lobster.
70 00:04:36,200 00:04:38,180 And, uh, on the way there... And, uh, on the way there...
71 00:04:40,000 00:04:42,180 there was this enormous bull. there was this enormous bull.
72 00:04:42,200 00:04:46,060 I mean, this bull, I'd never seen a bull like this. I mean, this bull, I'd never seen a bull like this.
73 00:04:46,090 00:04:48,060 Like, twice the size. Like, twice the size.
74 00:04:48,090 00:04:51,000 Just this majestic beast. Just this majestic beast.
75 00:04:51,020 00:04:54,100 Just this giant, giant bull. Just this giant, giant bull.
76 00:04:55,020 00:04:56,130 And he's in this pen. And he's in this pen.
77 00:04:57,100 00:04:58,230 And there's no houses or barns, And there's no houses or barns,
78 00:04:59,000 00:05:02,000 anything or anywhere near this-- this bull. anything or anywhere near this-- this bull.
79 00:05:02,020 00:05:03,170 We don't know who's taking care of him, We don't know who's taking care of him,
80 00:05:03,180 00:05:06,100 or what he's doing there, or what it's about. or what he's doing there, or what it's about.
81 00:05:07,020 00:05:08,050 And, uh... And, uh...
82 00:05:10,120 00:05:12,040 and one day, he was gone. and one day, he was gone.
83 00:05:13,220 00:05:15,180 And then, he was never there again. And then, he was never there again.
84 00:05:16,200 00:05:18,140 So, these are the two things that me and Leroy So, these are the two things that me and Leroy
85 00:05:18,170 00:05:21,000 would talk about, is the size of this bull, would talk about, is the size of this bull,
86 00:05:21,010 00:05:22,020 and about... and about...
87 00:05:23,080 00:05:24,190 and the guy on the bicycle. and the guy on the bicycle.
88 00:05:25,180 00:05:28,000 And then they were just gone. And then they were just gone.
89 00:05:28,010 00:05:32,150 And we kind of felt... maybe we were responsible And we kind of felt... maybe we were responsible
90 00:05:32,180 00:05:36,000 for sending them off somewhere. for sending them off somewhere.
91 00:05:38,200 00:05:40,170 So then we tried talking about... So then we tried talking about...
92 00:05:43,010 00:05:46,150 people we didn't like, like my evil landlady, people we didn't like, like my evil landlady,
93 00:05:48,040 00:05:50,020 to see if she would disappear. to see if she would disappear.
94 00:05:50,220 00:05:52,060 But it didn't work. But it didn't work.
95 00:05:52,090 00:05:53,220 She never disappeared. She never disappeared.
96 00:05:57,120 00:06:01,000 And then... up at the top of this hill, And then... up at the top of this hill,
97 00:06:01,180 00:06:04,000 at the end of the road... at the end of the road...
98 00:06:04,010 00:06:06,190 there was this guy with a little tiny homemade hibachi there was this guy with a little tiny homemade hibachi
99 00:06:06,220 00:06:08,040 that would sell chicken. that would sell chicken.
100 00:06:10,200 00:06:13,050 So, one day, we stopped and we got chicken. So, one day, we stopped and we got chicken.
101 00:06:14,120 00:06:17,020 And Leroy complained and complained and complained And Leroy complained and complained and complained
102 00:06:17,050 00:06:20,120 and said, "This is no good. Not enough spice." and said, "This is no good. Not enough spice."
103 00:06:21,230 00:06:24,200 And, uh... and, uh, he was really angry. And, uh... and, uh, he was really angry.
104 00:06:24,230 00:06:27,220 He started calling the guy "chicken man" as an insult. He started calling the guy "chicken man" as an insult.
105 00:06:29,160 00:06:31,230 And then every day, we wouldn't get chicken again And then every day, we wouldn't get chicken again
106 00:06:32,000 00:06:34,020 'cause Leroy hated it. I thought it was okay, 'cause Leroy hated it. I thought it was okay,
107 00:06:34,050 00:06:36,110 but Leroy hated it, so we weren't gonna get it. but Leroy hated it, so we weren't gonna get it.
108 00:06:37,120 00:06:41,060 And every time we'd drive by, And every time we'd drive by,
109 00:06:41,070 00:06:42,220 chicken man would wave, chicken man would wave,
110 00:06:43,120 00:06:44,230 so we would wave back. so we would wave back.
111 00:06:46,100 00:06:48,220 Except we weren't buying any more chicken. So... Except we weren't buying any more chicken. So...
112 00:06:50,150 00:06:52,120 chicken man, when we would drive by every day, chicken man, when we would drive by every day,
113 00:06:52,130 00:06:54,140 he'd be sitting on this road, he'd see us coming, he'd be sitting on this road, he'd see us coming,
114 00:06:54,170 00:06:55,150 and he would wave. and he would wave.
115 00:06:55,180 00:06:57,130 And then, the waves got lower and lower, And then, the waves got lower and lower,
116 00:06:57,150 00:07:00,110 until finally chicken man would just sort of sit there, until finally chicken man would just sort of sit there,
117 00:07:00,120 00:07:03,190 and we would come by, and he would just kind of go... and we would come by, and he would just kind of go...
118 00:07:03,220 00:07:06,060 He would barely, like, lift his hand off his lap. He would barely, like, lift his hand off his lap.
119 00:07:06,070 00:07:08,000 He'd just go... He'd just go...
120 00:07:08,010 00:07:11,120 And we would wave back with about the same enthusiasm. And we would wave back with about the same enthusiasm.
121 00:07:15,130 00:07:18,120 And I said to Leroy, I said, "You know what? And I said to Leroy, I said, "You know what?
122 00:07:18,130 00:07:21,000 I'm gonna not wave to chicken man anymore. I'm gonna not wave to chicken man anymore.
123 00:07:21,010 00:07:22,070 I'm tired of it." I'm tired of it."
124 00:07:22,100 00:07:25,140 And Leroy said, "I think he's tired of it, too." And Leroy said, "I think he's tired of it, too."
125 00:07:25,170 00:07:28,060 And I said, "Well, let's not just stop waving. And I said, "Well, let's not just stop waving.
126 00:07:28,080 00:07:32,020 Let's stop and tell him we're not gonna wave anymore," Let's stop and tell him we're not gonna wave anymore,"
127 00:07:32,050 00:07:34,020 'cause it didn't make any sense. 'cause it didn't make any sense.
128 00:07:34,050 00:07:38,070 And Leroy said, "I think he'd be fine with this arrangement." And Leroy said, "I think he'd be fine with this arrangement."
129 00:07:38,100 00:07:41,000 So, we're coming up the hill and we're about to go around, So, we're coming up the hill and we're about to go around,
130 00:07:41,010 00:07:42,170 and then chicken man was gone. and then chicken man was gone.
131 00:07:44,110 00:07:45,220 And we never saw him again. And we never saw him again.
132 00:07:48,060 00:07:51,000 So everybody we talked about disappeared. So everybody we talked about disappeared.
133 00:07:53,140 00:07:55,140 And we didn't see him for years. And we didn't see him for years.
134 00:07:57,130 00:07:59,180 And then Leroy heard that he got a job And then Leroy heard that he got a job
135 00:07:59,200 00:08:01,120 on the oil dung truck. on the oil dung truck.
136 00:08:01,140 00:08:03,120 Oil dung is this... Oil dung is this...
137 00:08:03,140 00:08:07,060 I mean, they take every carbohydrate in the world, I mean, they take every carbohydrate in the world,
138 00:08:07,080 00:08:11,060 like breadfruit and-- and rice and potatoes, like breadfruit and-- and rice and potatoes,
139 00:08:11,080 00:08:13,070 and they put it in a pot. and they put it in a pot.
140 00:08:13,100 00:08:16,060 It's just like a carbohydrate stew. It's just like a carbohydrate stew.
141 00:08:16,220 00:08:18,000 And, uh... And, uh...
142 00:08:18,180 00:08:20,000 and he got a job in a van and he got a job in a van
143 00:08:20,020 00:08:23,060 that drove around and sold this-- this-- that drove around and sold this-- this--
144 00:08:23,070 00:08:26,060 I think it's called oil dung. I don't know what it's called. I think it's called oil dung. I don't know what it's called.
145 00:08:27,160 00:08:29,120 Uh-- But we didn't see him. Uh-- But we didn't see him.
146 00:08:32,150 00:08:36,040 And then we're driving home. And then we're driving home.
147 00:08:36,070 00:08:38,110 Sun's going down, it's beautiful. Sun's going down, it's beautiful.
148 00:08:38,120 00:08:40,030 Flowers, and kids playing, Flowers, and kids playing,
149 00:08:40,050 00:08:42,200 and little baby pigs running around. and little baby pigs running around.
150 00:08:43,120 00:08:45,080 We're driving around, We're driving around,
151 00:08:45,100 00:08:47,150 and Leroy says, "There's chicken man." and Leroy says, "There's chicken man."
152 00:08:49,120 00:08:50,190 I don't see chicken man, I don't see chicken man,
153 00:08:50,210 00:08:54,190 but there's this fat, fat, fat guy. but there's this fat, fat, fat guy.
154 00:08:56,130 00:08:59,040 I mean, he must have weighed 350 pounds. I mean, he must have weighed 350 pounds.
155 00:08:59,070 00:09:01,000 Chicken man had been... Chicken man had been...
156 00:09:01,190 00:09:03,190 I mean, you know, 180, I mean, you know, 180,
157 00:09:03,210 00:09:06,140 you know, six feet, 190 pounds. you know, six feet, 190 pounds.
158 00:09:06,160 00:09:10,070 And now, there's this guy at 350 pounds, his back to us, And now, there's this guy at 350 pounds, his back to us,
159 00:09:10,090 00:09:13,220 walking away on the dusty road, and he weighs 350 pounds. walking away on the dusty road, and he weighs 350 pounds.
160 00:09:14,000 00:09:15,130 And Leroy says, "There's chicken man." And Leroy says, "There's chicken man."
161 00:09:15,150 00:09:19,020 And I see this gigantic bear of a man, And I see this gigantic bear of a man,
162 00:09:19,040 00:09:20,130 but I don't see chicken man. but I don't see chicken man.
163 00:09:20,150 00:09:23,000 I said, "Where?" He said, "There." I said, "Where?" He said, "There."
164 00:09:23,170 00:09:25,120 I said, "Where?" I said, "Where?"
165 00:09:25,130 00:09:28,170 And so we pull up alongside, and it is chicken man. And so we pull up alongside, and it is chicken man.
166 00:09:28,200 00:09:32,190 And from working on this truck, selling this carbohydrate stew, And from working on this truck, selling this carbohydrate stew,
167 00:09:32,210 00:09:34,200 he's gained 200 pounds. he's gained 200 pounds.
168 00:09:36,070 00:09:37,190 And there's a sadness in his eyes, And there's a sadness in his eyes,
169 00:09:37,210 00:09:40,150 and we look at each other, and our-- our eyes meet... and we look at each other, and our-- our eyes meet...
170 00:09:41,160 00:09:43,170 and nobody waved. and nobody waved.
171 00:13:07,210 00:13:10,000 My dad died when I was 17, My dad died when I was 17,
172 00:13:10,210 00:13:11,190 and I spent a lot-- and I spent a lot--
173 00:13:11,210 00:13:13,120 most of the time, I was out of the house. most of the time, I was out of the house.
174 00:13:13,140 00:13:15,130 I kind of moved out. I kind of moved out.
175 00:13:15,150 00:13:19,070 And me and my mom would sort of play this game of... And me and my mom would sort of play this game of...
176 00:13:19,090 00:13:22,010 who needed the other one more. I mean... who needed the other one more. I mean...
177 00:13:23,230 00:13:25,040 I wanted to be independent. I wanted to be independent.
178 00:13:25,070 00:13:27,080 She wanted to show that she was needed. She wanted to show that she was needed.
179 00:13:27,170 00:13:29,110 And, uh... And, uh...
180 00:13:29,120 00:13:31,100 you know, and then things would get out of control, you know, and then things would get out of control,
181 00:13:31,120 00:13:34,000 and I'd have to come home and she would wash my laundry, and I'd have to come home and she would wash my laundry,
182 00:13:34,020 00:13:37,020 and she would, you know, feed me. and she would, you know, feed me.
183 00:13:40,010 00:13:41,110 I remember-- I remember th-- I remember-- I remember th--
184 00:13:41,120 00:13:43,120 Once being in Arby's and thinking, Once being in Arby's and thinking,
185 00:13:43,130 00:13:47,030 "One day, I'll be able to afford two Arby's." "One day, I'll be able to afford two Arby's."
186 00:13:47,050 00:13:49,110 But I would go back home, and she would wash my clothes, But I would go back home, and she would wash my clothes,
187 00:13:49,120 00:13:52,110 and, you know, I'd eat, and then we'd argue about something, and, you know, I'd eat, and then we'd argue about something,
188 00:13:52,120 00:13:53,170 and I'd leave again. and I'd leave again.
189 00:13:54,100 00:13:55,120 And, uh... And, uh...
190 00:14:00,120 00:14:02,160 So, I had rented this apartment from somebody So, I had rented this apartment from somebody
191 00:14:02,190 00:14:03,190 for, like, three days, for, like, three days,
192 00:14:03,210 00:14:05,150 and they had a washing machine in the basement, and they had a washing machine in the basement,
193 00:14:05,170 00:14:07,010 so I washed my own clothes. so I washed my own clothes.
194 00:14:07,030 00:14:08,100 And when I went back home And when I went back home
195 00:14:08,120 00:14:10,130 with all my stuff in a duffel bag... with all my stuff in a duffel bag...
196 00:14:13,000 00:14:16,040 I got up in the morning, I saw my mother had washed my clothes. I got up in the morning, I saw my mother had washed my clothes.
197 00:14:16,070 00:14:18,120 And I said, "Mom, those were clean." And I said, "Mom, those were clean."
198 00:14:18,140 00:14:20,120 "Well, they didn't look clean." "Well, they didn't look clean."
199 00:14:20,140 00:14:21,210 "Well, you didn't have to wash them." "Well, you didn't have to wash them."
200 00:14:21,230 00:14:24,000 "Yes, yes, they looked filthy, I had to wash them." "Yes, yes, they looked filthy, I had to wash them."
201 00:14:24,010 00:14:25,030 "Okay." "Okay."
202 00:14:25,050 00:14:28,170 Then I go and I put on one of my two pairs of pants, Then I go and I put on one of my two pairs of pants,
203 00:14:28,200 00:14:30,120 and the driver's license, and the driver's license,
204 00:14:30,130 00:14:32,220 which were paper back then, was ruined. which were paper back then, was ruined.
205 00:14:34,010 00:14:36,000 "Mom, you ruined my license." "Mom, you ruined my license."
206 00:14:37,160 00:14:39,070 She says, "Well, all you have to do She says, "Well, all you have to do
207 00:14:39,090 00:14:40,230 is go to the Registry of Motor Vehicles. is go to the Registry of Motor Vehicles.
208 00:14:41,000 00:14:42,100 They'll give you another one." They'll give you another one."
209 00:14:45,230 00:14:47,080 So I go down there. So I go down there.
210 00:14:47,100 00:14:48,210 I had long hair, I had long hair,
211 00:14:48,230 00:14:50,170 which was, like, in Western Massachusetts then, which was, like, in Western Massachusetts then,
212 00:14:50,200 00:14:53,110 there was eight people who had long hair. there was eight people who had long hair.
213 00:14:53,120 00:14:56,110 And, uh, it was a-- you know, we were the renegades. And, uh, it was a-- you know, we were the renegades.
214 00:14:56,120 00:14:57,230 It was frowned upon. It was frowned upon.
215 00:14:58,150 00:14:59,220 And, uh... And, uh...
216 00:15:03,030 00:15:06,000 They said, "Oh, you have to see Mr. Bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh." They said, "Oh, you have to see Mr. Bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh."
217 00:15:06,020 00:15:07,100 I think his name was Toadfuck. I think his name was Toadfuck.
218 00:15:07,120 00:15:09,010 'Cause I sit down next to this guy, 'Cause I sit down next to this guy,
219 00:15:09,030 00:15:10,040 and it's just... and it's just...
220 00:15:11,040 00:15:12,050 he's just this-- he's just this--
221 00:15:12,080 00:15:14,040 You know, and it wasn't like he looked like that You know, and it wasn't like he looked like that
222 00:15:14,070 00:15:16,140 so that's what caused him to act like he did. so that's what caused him to act like he did.
223 00:15:16,160 00:15:21,220 It was like his mind manifested into the face of Mr. Toadfuck. It was like his mind manifested into the face of Mr. Toadfuck.
224 00:15:22,000 00:15:23,010 It was just like... It was just like...
225 00:15:24,150 00:15:27,170 And he starts giving me this shit about... And he starts giving me this shit about...
226 00:15:27,200 00:15:29,100 (IN DEEP VOICE) "You know, young man, (IN DEEP VOICE) "You know, young man,
227 00:15:30,020 00:15:32,220 your license is a privilege. your license is a privilege.
228 00:15:33,000 00:15:34,130 It isn't your right." It isn't your right."
229 00:15:34,150 00:15:37,030 (IN NORMAL VOICE) And I'm like, "Do I really have to listen to this?" (IN NORMAL VOICE) And I'm like, "Do I really have to listen to this?"
230 00:15:37,050 00:15:38,090 And then I just-- And then I just--
231 00:15:38,220 00:15:39,190 And I-- And I--
232 00:15:39,210 00:15:43,110 So I got fed up and I go, So I got fed up and I go,
233 00:15:43,120 00:15:45,020 "What, is there a fucking problem?" "What, is there a fucking problem?"
234 00:15:45,040 00:15:48,000 And now, I've cursed. And he's just like, "That's it." And now, I've cursed. And he's just like, "That's it."
235 00:15:48,010 00:15:49,190 You know, it's like-- And the next thing I know, You know, it's like-- And the next thing I know,
236 00:15:49,210 00:15:52,220 he must have pushed a button under his desk or something, he must have pushed a button under his desk or something,
237 00:15:53,000 00:15:55,120 but there's two gigantic security guys but there's two gigantic security guys
238 00:15:55,130 00:15:57,070 on either side of me, and they pick me up on either side of me, and they pick me up
239 00:15:57,090 00:15:58,230 and they throw me out on the street and they throw me out on the street
240 00:15:59,000 00:16:01,000 like a-- like a-- like a drunk, like a-- like a-- like a drunk,
241 00:16:01,020 00:16:03,040 uh, you know, out of a bar. uh, you know, out of a bar.
242 00:16:03,070 00:16:04,100 They just throw me out like-- They just throw me out like--
243 00:16:04,120 00:16:06,040 I don't think I fell to the ground, but I could've. I don't think I fell to the ground, but I could've.
244 00:16:06,070 00:16:08,100 I mean, they really threw me out. I mean, they really threw me out.
245 00:16:08,120 00:16:10,000 So I go back home. So I go back home.
246 00:16:10,020 00:16:11,100 My mom says, "Did you get your license?" My mom says, "Did you get your license?"
247 00:16:11,120 00:16:13,150 I said, "No, Mom, they threw me out." I said, "No, Mom, they threw me out."
248 00:16:15,070 00:16:16,130 "What do you mean, they threw you out?" "What do you mean, they threw you out?"
249 00:16:16,150 00:16:18,000 "They threw me out." "They threw me out."
250 00:16:18,170 00:16:20,020 "Well, they can't do that." "Well, they can't do that."
251 00:16:22,200 00:16:24,140 "They did." "I'm going down there." "They did." "I'm going down there."
252 00:16:24,160 00:16:26,190 (CHUCKLING) "Okay, Mom, you go down there." (CHUCKLING) "Okay, Mom, you go down there."
253 00:16:26,210 00:16:29,110 And so she's gone, and I'm waiting. And so she's gone, and I'm waiting.
254 00:16:30,110 00:16:31,140 And, uh, And, uh,
255 00:16:31,160 00:16:34,200 I'm starving, waiting for her to come home and feed me. I'm starving, waiting for her to come home and feed me.
256 00:16:34,220 00:16:37,040 She comes in the house and just walks right by me. She comes in the house and just walks right by me.
257 00:16:37,220 00:16:39,070 "Mom, what happened?" "Mom, what happened?"
258 00:16:40,040 00:16:42,040 And she doesn't, you know... And she doesn't, you know...
259 00:16:42,070 00:16:45,160 "Uh, Mom?" And she's pissed. "Uh, Mom?" And she's pissed.
260 00:16:45,190 00:16:49,030 "Mom... did you get my license? "Mom... did you get my license?
261 00:16:49,190 00:16:51,050 Mom, what happened? Mom, what happened?
262 00:16:53,080 00:16:55,000 Mom, did you get my license?" Mom, did you get my license?"
263 00:16:56,080 00:16:57,130 "They threw me out." "They threw me out."
264 00:16:59,000 00:17:01,000 (CHUCKLING) "What do you mean, they threw you out?" (CHUCKLING) "What do you mean, they threw you out?"
265 00:17:02,020 00:17:03,100 "They threw me out." "They threw me out."
266 00:17:05,010 00:17:08,090 (LAUGHS) And I was just laughing at her, you know, I-- (LAUGHS) And I was just laughing at her, you know, I--
267 00:17:08,110 00:17:11,000 "Wh-- what did you do?" And she wouldn't tell me. "Wh-- what did you do?" And she wouldn't tell me.
268 00:17:11,010 00:17:12,200 But yeah. But yeah.
269 00:17:12,220 00:17:14,180 And I just laughed. I mean, she had no idea. And I just laughed. I mean, she had no idea.
270 00:17:14,200 00:17:16,130 I was so proud of her, I was so proud of her,
271 00:17:16,150 00:17:18,080 but I never told her then. but I never told her then.
272 00:17:18,100 00:17:20,030 I guess I'm telling her now. I guess I'm telling her now.
273 00:17:20,050 00:17:22,080 Yeah, Mom. (LAUGHS) Yeah, Mom. (LAUGHS)
274 00:17:23,160 00:17:25,090 They threw her out. They threw her out.
275 00:17:25,110 00:17:26,210 I wonder what she did. I wonder what she did.
276 00:17:34,060 00:17:37,130 JOHN: Do you mind telling the people at home what a good and fair boss I am? JOHN: Do you mind telling the people at home what a good and fair boss I am?