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# | Start | End | Original | Translated |
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1 | 00:01:09,120 | 00:01:11,150 | JOHN LURIE: So, I have a bird in my room. | JOHN LURIE: So, I have a bird in my room. |
2 | 00:01:11,180 | 00:01:13,030 | He's right there, | He's right there, |
3 | 00:01:13,040 | 00:01:15,030 | and I don't know how to get him out. | and I don't know how to get him out. |
4 | 00:01:15,040 | 00:01:17,210 | And I feel bad for him, 'cause I was chasing him around, | And I feel bad for him, 'cause I was chasing him around, |
5 | 00:01:18,000 | 00:01:20,230 | and now he's all exhausted. It's like-- | and now he's all exhausted. It's like-- |
6 | 00:01:21,010 | 00:01:22,210 | You could see it, 'cause he was like-- | You could see it, 'cause he was like-- |
7 | 00:01:23,000 | 00:01:25,060 | The bird was like... (PANTS) | The bird was like... (PANTS) |
8 | 00:01:25,090 | 00:01:28,210 | He had his mouth wide open, like he was gasping for air. | He had his mouth wide open, like he was gasping for air. |
9 | 00:01:28,230 | 00:01:32,120 | I'm gonna give one last thing. Hey, bird. | I'm gonna give one last thing. Hey, bird. |
10 | 00:01:32,150 | 00:01:34,120 | Can you see him? Erik? | Can you see him? Erik? |
11 | 00:01:34,150 | 00:01:36,180 | -ERIK MOCKUS: Yeah, I think I can see him. -JOHN: Yeah. | -ERIK MOCKUS: Yeah, I think I can see him. -JOHN: Yeah. |
12 | 00:01:36,200 | 00:01:38,070 | JOHN: Yeah, you actually see him? | JOHN: Yeah, you actually see him? |
13 | 00:01:38,090 | 00:01:39,140 | All right, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna | All right, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna |
14 | 00:01:39,150 | 00:01:41,030 | try to get you out of here again. | try to get you out of here again. |
15 | 00:01:41,040 | 00:01:42,210 | I really feel bad about this. | I really feel bad about this. |
16 | 00:01:43,150 | 00:01:45,000 | But here we go. | But here we go. |
17 | 00:01:48,150 | 00:01:51,030 | No, no, no. That's not where you wanna be. | No, no, no. That's not where you wanna be. |
18 | 00:01:51,040 | 00:01:52,150 | You don't wanna be there. | You don't wanna be there. |
19 | 00:01:52,170 | 00:01:54,090 | I'm gonna move this. | I'm gonna move this. |
20 | 00:01:55,030 | 00:01:56,120 | Oh, you're gonna hang on? | Oh, you're gonna hang on? |
21 | 00:01:57,120 | 00:01:59,030 | What do you think is happening? | What do you think is happening? |
22 | 00:02:02,180 | 00:02:03,230 | Oh, come on. | Oh, come on. |
23 | 00:02:07,180 | 00:02:08,220 | Just go outside. | Just go outside. |
24 | 00:02:10,000 | 00:02:11,090 | Outside. | Outside. |
25 | 00:02:11,120 | 00:02:13,210 | See, you come down and fly outside. | See, you come down and fly outside. |
26 | 00:02:13,220 | 00:02:15,090 | I am your friend. (CHUCKLES) | I am your friend. (CHUCKLES) |
27 | 00:02:17,150 | 00:02:19,110 | Where did he go? | Where did he go? |
28 | 00:02:19,120 | 00:02:22,170 | I feel terrible for him. I would just leave it alone. | I feel terrible for him. I would just leave it alone. |
29 | 00:02:22,180 | 00:02:25,090 | I don't wanna-- wanna sleep with here-- in here with him. | I don't wanna-- wanna sleep with here-- in here with him. |
30 | 00:02:27,030 | 00:02:30,000 | (BIRDS SINGING) | (BIRDS SINGING) |
31 | 00:02:32,120 | 00:02:33,150 | So, I live on this... | So, I live on this... |
32 | 00:02:35,060 | 00:02:37,110 | small island in the Caribbean. | small island in the Caribbean. |
33 | 00:02:40,020 | 00:02:43,110 | I've been here for six, almost seven years. | I've been here for six, almost seven years. |
34 | 00:02:47,110 | 00:02:49,120 | This guy Leroy, | This guy Leroy, |
35 | 00:02:49,130 | 00:02:51,000 | I wasn't really well enough to drive, | I wasn't really well enough to drive, |
36 | 00:02:51,020 | 00:02:53,210 | but I was trying to get into the water every day. | but I was trying to get into the water every day. |
37 | 00:02:56,090 | 00:02:57,120 | And Leroy would drive me. | And Leroy would drive me. |
38 | 00:02:57,150 | 00:02:59,020 | He used to live in a different place | He used to live in a different place |
39 | 00:02:59,030 | 00:03:00,130 | way on the top of this hill. | way on the top of this hill. |
40 | 00:03:00,150 | 00:03:03,160 | You go down this dusty road, and there'd be kids playing | You go down this dusty road, and there'd be kids playing |
41 | 00:03:03,180 | 00:03:06,220 | and chickens and baby pigs running on the road. | and chickens and baby pigs running on the road. |
42 | 00:03:07,180 | 00:03:08,220 | Nice up there. | Nice up there. |
43 | 00:03:10,080 | 00:03:11,160 | Leroy would pick me up, | Leroy would pick me up, |
44 | 00:03:11,180 | 00:03:15,210 | and we would drive down the hill to the water. | and we would drive down the hill to the water. |
45 | 00:03:19,030 | 00:03:20,220 | And we kept seeing this guy... | And we kept seeing this guy... |
46 | 00:03:22,130 | 00:03:24,030 | skinny white guy. | skinny white guy. |
47 | 00:03:25,060 | 00:03:26,180 | He must have been 80. | He must have been 80. |
48 | 00:03:28,180 | 00:03:31,150 | And on a bicycle. | And on a bicycle. |
49 | 00:03:31,180 | 00:03:36,000 | And he'd be going up the hill, like "bump-bump-bump-bum--" | And he'd be going up the hill, like "bump-bump-bump-bum--" |
50 | 00:03:36,020 | 00:03:37,060 | I mean just, like... | I mean just, like... |
51 | 00:03:38,090 | 00:03:40,190 | so hard that it was just, like, | so hard that it was just, like, |
52 | 00:03:40,210 | 00:03:43,020 | you would look at him and your mouth would fall open. | you would look at him and your mouth would fall open. |
53 | 00:03:43,030 | 00:03:44,210 | Like, this old guy going up the hill | Like, this old guy going up the hill |
54 | 00:03:45,000 | 00:03:46,150 | in 100-degree weather. | in 100-degree weather. |
55 | 00:03:46,180 | 00:03:49,110 | It's like, how is he doing it? Why is he doing it? | It's like, how is he doing it? Why is he doing it? |
56 | 00:03:49,120 | 00:03:51,130 | You know, like, is he doing it for his health? | You know, like, is he doing it for his health? |
57 | 00:03:53,150 | 00:03:54,220 | Why is he doing it? | Why is he doing it? |
58 | 00:03:57,030 | 00:03:58,150 | And then, one day, he was gone. | And then, one day, he was gone. |
59 | 00:04:00,210 | 00:04:01,210 | We saw him every day, | We saw him every day, |
60 | 00:04:02,000 | 00:04:04,030 | and then one day, we didn't see him anymore. | and then one day, we didn't see him anymore. |
61 | 00:04:05,210 | 00:04:07,030 | And I said to Leroy... | And I said to Leroy... |
62 | 00:04:10,190 | 00:04:12,120 | "Maybe he exploded." | "Maybe he exploded." |
63 | 00:04:16,170 | 00:04:18,100 | And then we used to go to this other place, | And then we used to go to this other place, |
64 | 00:04:18,120 | 00:04:21,100 | into this bay where Leroy didn't like driving 'cause... | into this bay where Leroy didn't like driving 'cause... |
65 | 00:04:22,060 | 00:04:23,120 | it's a bumpy road | it's a bumpy road |
66 | 00:04:23,130 | 00:04:26,120 | and he didn't like his van going down this bumpy, bumpy road. | and he didn't like his van going down this bumpy, bumpy road. |
67 | 00:04:28,050 | 00:04:31,190 | But we'd go there and buy fish when the guys came in. | But we'd go there and buy fish when the guys came in. |
68 | 00:04:31,220 | 00:04:34,040 | Like one in the afternoon, they come in | Like one in the afternoon, they come in |
69 | 00:04:34,060 | 00:04:36,010 | with snapper and lobster. | with snapper and lobster. |
70 | 00:04:36,200 | 00:04:38,180 | And, uh, on the way there... | And, uh, on the way there... |
71 | 00:04:40,000 | 00:04:42,180 | there was this enormous bull. | there was this enormous bull. |
72 | 00:04:42,200 | 00:04:46,060 | I mean, this bull, I'd never seen a bull like this. | I mean, this bull, I'd never seen a bull like this. |
73 | 00:04:46,090 | 00:04:48,060 | Like, twice the size. | Like, twice the size. |
74 | 00:04:48,090 | 00:04:51,000 | Just this majestic beast. | Just this majestic beast. |
75 | 00:04:51,020 | 00:04:54,100 | Just this giant, giant bull. | Just this giant, giant bull. |
76 | 00:04:55,020 | 00:04:56,130 | And he's in this pen. | And he's in this pen. |
77 | 00:04:57,100 | 00:04:58,230 | And there's no houses or barns, | And there's no houses or barns, |
78 | 00:04:59,000 | 00:05:02,000 | anything or anywhere near this-- this bull. | anything or anywhere near this-- this bull. |
79 | 00:05:02,020 | 00:05:03,170 | We don't know who's taking care of him, | We don't know who's taking care of him, |
80 | 00:05:03,180 | 00:05:06,100 | or what he's doing there, or what it's about. | or what he's doing there, or what it's about. |
81 | 00:05:07,020 | 00:05:08,050 | And, uh... | And, uh... |
82 | 00:05:10,120 | 00:05:12,040 | and one day, he was gone. | and one day, he was gone. |
83 | 00:05:13,220 | 00:05:15,180 | And then, he was never there again. | And then, he was never there again. |
84 | 00:05:16,200 | 00:05:18,140 | So, these are the two things that me and Leroy | So, these are the two things that me and Leroy |
85 | 00:05:18,170 | 00:05:21,000 | would talk about, is the size of this bull, | would talk about, is the size of this bull, |
86 | 00:05:21,010 | 00:05:22,020 | and about... | and about... |
87 | 00:05:23,080 | 00:05:24,190 | and the guy on the bicycle. | and the guy on the bicycle. |
88 | 00:05:25,180 | 00:05:28,000 | And then they were just gone. | And then they were just gone. |
89 | 00:05:28,010 | 00:05:32,150 | And we kind of felt... maybe we were responsible | And we kind of felt... maybe we were responsible |
90 | 00:05:32,180 | 00:05:36,000 | for sending them off somewhere. | for sending them off somewhere. |
91 | 00:05:38,200 | 00:05:40,170 | So then we tried talking about... | So then we tried talking about... |
92 | 00:05:43,010 | 00:05:46,150 | people we didn't like, like my evil landlady, | people we didn't like, like my evil landlady, |
93 | 00:05:48,040 | 00:05:50,020 | to see if she would disappear. | to see if she would disappear. |
94 | 00:05:50,220 | 00:05:52,060 | But it didn't work. | But it didn't work. |
95 | 00:05:52,090 | 00:05:53,220 | She never disappeared. | She never disappeared. |
96 | 00:05:57,120 | 00:06:01,000 | And then... up at the top of this hill, | And then... up at the top of this hill, |
97 | 00:06:01,180 | 00:06:04,000 | at the end of the road... | at the end of the road... |
98 | 00:06:04,010 | 00:06:06,190 | there was this guy with a little tiny homemade hibachi | there was this guy with a little tiny homemade hibachi |
99 | 00:06:06,220 | 00:06:08,040 | that would sell chicken. | that would sell chicken. |
100 | 00:06:10,200 | 00:06:13,050 | So, one day, we stopped and we got chicken. | So, one day, we stopped and we got chicken. |
101 | 00:06:14,120 | 00:06:17,020 | And Leroy complained and complained and complained | And Leroy complained and complained and complained |
102 | 00:06:17,050 | 00:06:20,120 | and said, "This is no good. Not enough spice." | and said, "This is no good. Not enough spice." |
103 | 00:06:21,230 | 00:06:24,200 | And, uh... and, uh, he was really angry. | And, uh... and, uh, he was really angry. |
104 | 00:06:24,230 | 00:06:27,220 | He started calling the guy "chicken man" as an insult. | He started calling the guy "chicken man" as an insult. |
105 | 00:06:29,160 | 00:06:31,230 | And then every day, we wouldn't get chicken again | And then every day, we wouldn't get chicken again |
106 | 00:06:32,000 | 00:06:34,020 | 'cause Leroy hated it. I thought it was okay, | 'cause Leroy hated it. I thought it was okay, |
107 | 00:06:34,050 | 00:06:36,110 | but Leroy hated it, so we weren't gonna get it. | but Leroy hated it, so we weren't gonna get it. |
108 | 00:06:37,120 | 00:06:41,060 | And every time we'd drive by, | And every time we'd drive by, |
109 | 00:06:41,070 | 00:06:42,220 | chicken man would wave, | chicken man would wave, |
110 | 00:06:43,120 | 00:06:44,230 | so we would wave back. | so we would wave back. |
111 | 00:06:46,100 | 00:06:48,220 | Except we weren't buying any more chicken. So... | Except we weren't buying any more chicken. So... |
112 | 00:06:50,150 | 00:06:52,120 | chicken man, when we would drive by every day, | chicken man, when we would drive by every day, |
113 | 00:06:52,130 | 00:06:54,140 | he'd be sitting on this road, he'd see us coming, | he'd be sitting on this road, he'd see us coming, |
114 | 00:06:54,170 | 00:06:55,150 | and he would wave. | and he would wave. |
115 | 00:06:55,180 | 00:06:57,130 | And then, the waves got lower and lower, | And then, the waves got lower and lower, |
116 | 00:06:57,150 | 00:07:00,110 | until finally chicken man would just sort of sit there, | until finally chicken man would just sort of sit there, |
117 | 00:07:00,120 | 00:07:03,190 | and we would come by, and he would just kind of go... | and we would come by, and he would just kind of go... |
118 | 00:07:03,220 | 00:07:06,060 | He would barely, like, lift his hand off his lap. | He would barely, like, lift his hand off his lap. |
119 | 00:07:06,070 | 00:07:08,000 | He'd just go... | He'd just go... |
120 | 00:07:08,010 | 00:07:11,120 | And we would wave back with about the same enthusiasm. | And we would wave back with about the same enthusiasm. |
121 | 00:07:15,130 | 00:07:18,120 | And I said to Leroy, I said, "You know what? | And I said to Leroy, I said, "You know what? |
122 | 00:07:18,130 | 00:07:21,000 | I'm gonna not wave to chicken man anymore. | I'm gonna not wave to chicken man anymore. |
123 | 00:07:21,010 | 00:07:22,070 | I'm tired of it." | I'm tired of it." |
124 | 00:07:22,100 | 00:07:25,140 | And Leroy said, "I think he's tired of it, too." | And Leroy said, "I think he's tired of it, too." |
125 | 00:07:25,170 | 00:07:28,060 | And I said, "Well, let's not just stop waving. | And I said, "Well, let's not just stop waving. |
126 | 00:07:28,080 | 00:07:32,020 | Let's stop and tell him we're not gonna wave anymore," | Let's stop and tell him we're not gonna wave anymore," |
127 | 00:07:32,050 | 00:07:34,020 | 'cause it didn't make any sense. | 'cause it didn't make any sense. |
128 | 00:07:34,050 | 00:07:38,070 | And Leroy said, "I think he'd be fine with this arrangement." | And Leroy said, "I think he'd be fine with this arrangement." |
129 | 00:07:38,100 | 00:07:41,000 | So, we're coming up the hill and we're about to go around, | So, we're coming up the hill and we're about to go around, |
130 | 00:07:41,010 | 00:07:42,170 | and then chicken man was gone. | and then chicken man was gone. |
131 | 00:07:44,110 | 00:07:45,220 | And we never saw him again. | And we never saw him again. |
132 | 00:07:48,060 | 00:07:51,000 | So everybody we talked about disappeared. | So everybody we talked about disappeared. |
133 | 00:07:53,140 | 00:07:55,140 | And we didn't see him for years. | And we didn't see him for years. |
134 | 00:07:57,130 | 00:07:59,180 | And then Leroy heard that he got a job | And then Leroy heard that he got a job |
135 | 00:07:59,200 | 00:08:01,120 | on the oil dung truck. | on the oil dung truck. |
136 | 00:08:01,140 | 00:08:03,120 | Oil dung is this... | Oil dung is this... |
137 | 00:08:03,140 | 00:08:07,060 | I mean, they take every carbohydrate in the world, | I mean, they take every carbohydrate in the world, |
138 | 00:08:07,080 | 00:08:11,060 | like breadfruit and-- and rice and potatoes, | like breadfruit and-- and rice and potatoes, |
139 | 00:08:11,080 | 00:08:13,070 | and they put it in a pot. | and they put it in a pot. |
140 | 00:08:13,100 | 00:08:16,060 | It's just like a carbohydrate stew. | It's just like a carbohydrate stew. |
141 | 00:08:16,220 | 00:08:18,000 | And, uh... | And, uh... |
142 | 00:08:18,180 | 00:08:20,000 | and he got a job in a van | and he got a job in a van |
143 | 00:08:20,020 | 00:08:23,060 | that drove around and sold this-- this-- | that drove around and sold this-- this-- |
144 | 00:08:23,070 | 00:08:26,060 | I think it's called oil dung. I don't know what it's called. | I think it's called oil dung. I don't know what it's called. |
145 | 00:08:27,160 | 00:08:29,120 | Uh-- But we didn't see him. | Uh-- But we didn't see him. |
146 | 00:08:32,150 | 00:08:36,040 | And then we're driving home. | And then we're driving home. |
147 | 00:08:36,070 | 00:08:38,110 | Sun's going down, it's beautiful. | Sun's going down, it's beautiful. |
148 | 00:08:38,120 | 00:08:40,030 | Flowers, and kids playing, | Flowers, and kids playing, |
149 | 00:08:40,050 | 00:08:42,200 | and little baby pigs running around. | and little baby pigs running around. |
150 | 00:08:43,120 | 00:08:45,080 | We're driving around, | We're driving around, |
151 | 00:08:45,100 | 00:08:47,150 | and Leroy says, "There's chicken man." | and Leroy says, "There's chicken man." |
152 | 00:08:49,120 | 00:08:50,190 | I don't see chicken man, | I don't see chicken man, |
153 | 00:08:50,210 | 00:08:54,190 | but there's this fat, fat, fat guy. | but there's this fat, fat, fat guy. |
154 | 00:08:56,130 | 00:08:59,040 | I mean, he must have weighed 350 pounds. | I mean, he must have weighed 350 pounds. |
155 | 00:08:59,070 | 00:09:01,000 | Chicken man had been... | Chicken man had been... |
156 | 00:09:01,190 | 00:09:03,190 | I mean, you know, 180, | I mean, you know, 180, |
157 | 00:09:03,210 | 00:09:06,140 | you know, six feet, 190 pounds. | you know, six feet, 190 pounds. |
158 | 00:09:06,160 | 00:09:10,070 | And now, there's this guy at 350 pounds, his back to us, | And now, there's this guy at 350 pounds, his back to us, |
159 | 00:09:10,090 | 00:09:13,220 | walking away on the dusty road, and he weighs 350 pounds. | walking away on the dusty road, and he weighs 350 pounds. |
160 | 00:09:14,000 | 00:09:15,130 | And Leroy says, "There's chicken man." | And Leroy says, "There's chicken man." |
161 | 00:09:15,150 | 00:09:19,020 | And I see this gigantic bear of a man, | And I see this gigantic bear of a man, |
162 | 00:09:19,040 | 00:09:20,130 | but I don't see chicken man. | but I don't see chicken man. |
163 | 00:09:20,150 | 00:09:23,000 | I said, "Where?" He said, "There." | I said, "Where?" He said, "There." |
164 | 00:09:23,170 | 00:09:25,120 | I said, "Where?" | I said, "Where?" |
165 | 00:09:25,130 | 00:09:28,170 | And so we pull up alongside, and it is chicken man. | And so we pull up alongside, and it is chicken man. |
166 | 00:09:28,200 | 00:09:32,190 | And from working on this truck, selling this carbohydrate stew, | And from working on this truck, selling this carbohydrate stew, |
167 | 00:09:32,210 | 00:09:34,200 | he's gained 200 pounds. | he's gained 200 pounds. |
168 | 00:09:36,070 | 00:09:37,190 | And there's a sadness in his eyes, | And there's a sadness in his eyes, |
169 | 00:09:37,210 | 00:09:40,150 | and we look at each other, and our-- our eyes meet... | and we look at each other, and our-- our eyes meet... |
170 | 00:09:41,160 | 00:09:43,170 | and nobody waved. | and nobody waved. |
171 | 00:13:07,210 | 00:13:10,000 | My dad died when I was 17, | My dad died when I was 17, |
172 | 00:13:10,210 | 00:13:11,190 | and I spent a lot-- | and I spent a lot-- |
173 | 00:13:11,210 | 00:13:13,120 | most of the time, I was out of the house. | most of the time, I was out of the house. |
174 | 00:13:13,140 | 00:13:15,130 | I kind of moved out. | I kind of moved out. |
175 | 00:13:15,150 | 00:13:19,070 | And me and my mom would sort of play this game of... | And me and my mom would sort of play this game of... |
176 | 00:13:19,090 | 00:13:22,010 | who needed the other one more. I mean... | who needed the other one more. I mean... |
177 | 00:13:23,230 | 00:13:25,040 | I wanted to be independent. | I wanted to be independent. |
178 | 00:13:25,070 | 00:13:27,080 | She wanted to show that she was needed. | She wanted to show that she was needed. |
179 | 00:13:27,170 | 00:13:29,110 | And, uh... | And, uh... |
180 | 00:13:29,120 | 00:13:31,100 | you know, and then things would get out of control, | you know, and then things would get out of control, |
181 | 00:13:31,120 | 00:13:34,000 | and I'd have to come home and she would wash my laundry, | and I'd have to come home and she would wash my laundry, |
182 | 00:13:34,020 | 00:13:37,020 | and she would, you know, feed me. | and she would, you know, feed me. |
183 | 00:13:40,010 | 00:13:41,110 | I remember-- I remember th-- | I remember-- I remember th-- |
184 | 00:13:41,120 | 00:13:43,120 | Once being in Arby's and thinking, | Once being in Arby's and thinking, |
185 | 00:13:43,130 | 00:13:47,030 | "One day, I'll be able to afford two Arby's." | "One day, I'll be able to afford two Arby's." |
186 | 00:13:47,050 | 00:13:49,110 | But I would go back home, and she would wash my clothes, | But I would go back home, and she would wash my clothes, |
187 | 00:13:49,120 | 00:13:52,110 | and, you know, I'd eat, and then we'd argue about something, | and, you know, I'd eat, and then we'd argue about something, |
188 | 00:13:52,120 | 00:13:53,170 | and I'd leave again. | and I'd leave again. |
189 | 00:13:54,100 | 00:13:55,120 | And, uh... | And, uh... |
190 | 00:14:00,120 | 00:14:02,160 | So, I had rented this apartment from somebody | So, I had rented this apartment from somebody |
191 | 00:14:02,190 | 00:14:03,190 | for, like, three days, | for, like, three days, |
192 | 00:14:03,210 | 00:14:05,150 | and they had a washing machine in the basement, | and they had a washing machine in the basement, |
193 | 00:14:05,170 | 00:14:07,010 | so I washed my own clothes. | so I washed my own clothes. |
194 | 00:14:07,030 | 00:14:08,100 | And when I went back home | And when I went back home |
195 | 00:14:08,120 | 00:14:10,130 | with all my stuff in a duffel bag... | with all my stuff in a duffel bag... |
196 | 00:14:13,000 | 00:14:16,040 | I got up in the morning, I saw my mother had washed my clothes. | I got up in the morning, I saw my mother had washed my clothes. |
197 | 00:14:16,070 | 00:14:18,120 | And I said, "Mom, those were clean." | And I said, "Mom, those were clean." |
198 | 00:14:18,140 | 00:14:20,120 | "Well, they didn't look clean." | "Well, they didn't look clean." |
199 | 00:14:20,140 | 00:14:21,210 | "Well, you didn't have to wash them." | "Well, you didn't have to wash them." |
200 | 00:14:21,230 | 00:14:24,000 | "Yes, yes, they looked filthy, I had to wash them." | "Yes, yes, they looked filthy, I had to wash them." |
201 | 00:14:24,010 | 00:14:25,030 | "Okay." | "Okay." |
202 | 00:14:25,050 | 00:14:28,170 | Then I go and I put on one of my two pairs of pants, | Then I go and I put on one of my two pairs of pants, |
203 | 00:14:28,200 | 00:14:30,120 | and the driver's license, | and the driver's license, |
204 | 00:14:30,130 | 00:14:32,220 | which were paper back then, was ruined. | which were paper back then, was ruined. |
205 | 00:14:34,010 | 00:14:36,000 | "Mom, you ruined my license." | "Mom, you ruined my license." |
206 | 00:14:37,160 | 00:14:39,070 | She says, "Well, all you have to do | She says, "Well, all you have to do |
207 | 00:14:39,090 | 00:14:40,230 | is go to the Registry of Motor Vehicles. | is go to the Registry of Motor Vehicles. |
208 | 00:14:41,000 | 00:14:42,100 | They'll give you another one." | They'll give you another one." |
209 | 00:14:45,230 | 00:14:47,080 | So I go down there. | So I go down there. |
210 | 00:14:47,100 | 00:14:48,210 | I had long hair, | I had long hair, |
211 | 00:14:48,230 | 00:14:50,170 | which was, like, in Western Massachusetts then, | which was, like, in Western Massachusetts then, |
212 | 00:14:50,200 | 00:14:53,110 | there was eight people who had long hair. | there was eight people who had long hair. |
213 | 00:14:53,120 | 00:14:56,110 | And, uh, it was a-- you know, we were the renegades. | And, uh, it was a-- you know, we were the renegades. |
214 | 00:14:56,120 | 00:14:57,230 | It was frowned upon. | It was frowned upon. |
215 | 00:14:58,150 | 00:14:59,220 | And, uh... | And, uh... |
216 | 00:15:03,030 | 00:15:06,000 | They said, "Oh, you have to see Mr. Bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh." | They said, "Oh, you have to see Mr. Bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh." |
217 | 00:15:06,020 | 00:15:07,100 | I think his name was Toadfuck. | I think his name was Toadfuck. |
218 | 00:15:07,120 | 00:15:09,010 | 'Cause I sit down next to this guy, | 'Cause I sit down next to this guy, |
219 | 00:15:09,030 | 00:15:10,040 | and it's just... | and it's just... |
220 | 00:15:11,040 | 00:15:12,050 | he's just this-- | he's just this-- |
221 | 00:15:12,080 | 00:15:14,040 | You know, and it wasn't like he looked like that | You know, and it wasn't like he looked like that |
222 | 00:15:14,070 | 00:15:16,140 | so that's what caused him to act like he did. | so that's what caused him to act like he did. |
223 | 00:15:16,160 | 00:15:21,220 | It was like his mind manifested into the face of Mr. Toadfuck. | It was like his mind manifested into the face of Mr. Toadfuck. |
224 | 00:15:22,000 | 00:15:23,010 | It was just like... | It was just like... |
225 | 00:15:24,150 | 00:15:27,170 | And he starts giving me this shit about... | And he starts giving me this shit about... |
226 | 00:15:27,200 | 00:15:29,100 | (IN DEEP VOICE) "You know, young man, | (IN DEEP VOICE) "You know, young man, |
227 | 00:15:30,020 | 00:15:32,220 | your license is a privilege. | your license is a privilege. |
228 | 00:15:33,000 | 00:15:34,130 | It isn't your right." | It isn't your right." |
229 | 00:15:34,150 | 00:15:37,030 | (IN NORMAL VOICE) And I'm like, "Do I really have to listen to this?" | (IN NORMAL VOICE) And I'm like, "Do I really have to listen to this?" |
230 | 00:15:37,050 | 00:15:38,090 | And then I just-- | And then I just-- |
231 | 00:15:38,220 | 00:15:39,190 | And I-- | And I-- |
232 | 00:15:39,210 | 00:15:43,110 | So I got fed up and I go, | So I got fed up and I go, |
233 | 00:15:43,120 | 00:15:45,020 | "What, is there a fucking problem?" | "What, is there a fucking problem?" |
234 | 00:15:45,040 | 00:15:48,000 | And now, I've cursed. And he's just like, "That's it." | And now, I've cursed. And he's just like, "That's it." |
235 | 00:15:48,010 | 00:15:49,190 | You know, it's like-- And the next thing I know, | You know, it's like-- And the next thing I know, |
236 | 00:15:49,210 | 00:15:52,220 | he must have pushed a button under his desk or something, | he must have pushed a button under his desk or something, |
237 | 00:15:53,000 | 00:15:55,120 | but there's two gigantic security guys | but there's two gigantic security guys |
238 | 00:15:55,130 | 00:15:57,070 | on either side of me, and they pick me up | on either side of me, and they pick me up |
239 | 00:15:57,090 | 00:15:58,230 | and they throw me out on the street | and they throw me out on the street |
240 | 00:15:59,000 | 00:16:01,000 | like a-- like a-- like a drunk, | like a-- like a-- like a drunk, |
241 | 00:16:01,020 | 00:16:03,040 | uh, you know, out of a bar. | uh, you know, out of a bar. |
242 | 00:16:03,070 | 00:16:04,100 | They just throw me out like-- | They just throw me out like-- |
243 | 00:16:04,120 | 00:16:06,040 | I don't think I fell to the ground, but I could've. | I don't think I fell to the ground, but I could've. |
244 | 00:16:06,070 | 00:16:08,100 | I mean, they really threw me out. | I mean, they really threw me out. |
245 | 00:16:08,120 | 00:16:10,000 | So I go back home. | So I go back home. |
246 | 00:16:10,020 | 00:16:11,100 | My mom says, "Did you get your license?" | My mom says, "Did you get your license?" |
247 | 00:16:11,120 | 00:16:13,150 | I said, "No, Mom, they threw me out." | I said, "No, Mom, they threw me out." |
248 | 00:16:15,070 | 00:16:16,130 | "What do you mean, they threw you out?" | "What do you mean, they threw you out?" |
249 | 00:16:16,150 | 00:16:18,000 | "They threw me out." | "They threw me out." |
250 | 00:16:18,170 | 00:16:20,020 | "Well, they can't do that." | "Well, they can't do that." |
251 | 00:16:22,200 | 00:16:24,140 | "They did." "I'm going down there." | "They did." "I'm going down there." |
252 | 00:16:24,160 | 00:16:26,190 | (CHUCKLING) "Okay, Mom, you go down there." | (CHUCKLING) "Okay, Mom, you go down there." |
253 | 00:16:26,210 | 00:16:29,110 | And so she's gone, and I'm waiting. | And so she's gone, and I'm waiting. |
254 | 00:16:30,110 | 00:16:31,140 | And, uh, | And, uh, |
255 | 00:16:31,160 | 00:16:34,200 | I'm starving, waiting for her to come home and feed me. | I'm starving, waiting for her to come home and feed me. |
256 | 00:16:34,220 | 00:16:37,040 | She comes in the house and just walks right by me. | She comes in the house and just walks right by me. |
257 | 00:16:37,220 | 00:16:39,070 | "Mom, what happened?" | "Mom, what happened?" |
258 | 00:16:40,040 | 00:16:42,040 | And she doesn't, you know... | And she doesn't, you know... |
259 | 00:16:42,070 | 00:16:45,160 | "Uh, Mom?" And she's pissed. | "Uh, Mom?" And she's pissed. |
260 | 00:16:45,190 | 00:16:49,030 | "Mom... did you get my license? | "Mom... did you get my license? |
261 | 00:16:49,190 | 00:16:51,050 | Mom, what happened? | Mom, what happened? |
262 | 00:16:53,080 | 00:16:55,000 | Mom, did you get my license?" | Mom, did you get my license?" |
263 | 00:16:56,080 | 00:16:57,130 | "They threw me out." | "They threw me out." |
264 | 00:16:59,000 | 00:17:01,000 | (CHUCKLING) "What do you mean, they threw you out?" | (CHUCKLING) "What do you mean, they threw you out?" |
265 | 00:17:02,020 | 00:17:03,100 | "They threw me out." | "They threw me out." |
266 | 00:17:05,010 | 00:17:08,090 | (LAUGHS) And I was just laughing at her, you know, I-- | (LAUGHS) And I was just laughing at her, you know, I-- |
267 | 00:17:08,110 | 00:17:11,000 | "Wh-- what did you do?" And she wouldn't tell me. | "Wh-- what did you do?" And she wouldn't tell me. |
268 | 00:17:11,010 | 00:17:12,200 | But yeah. | But yeah. |
269 | 00:17:12,220 | 00:17:14,180 | And I just laughed. I mean, she had no idea. | And I just laughed. I mean, she had no idea. |
270 | 00:17:14,200 | 00:17:16,130 | I was so proud of her, | I was so proud of her, |
271 | 00:17:16,150 | 00:17:18,080 | but I never told her then. | but I never told her then. |
272 | 00:17:18,100 | 00:17:20,030 | I guess I'm telling her now. | I guess I'm telling her now. |
273 | 00:17:20,050 | 00:17:22,080 | Yeah, Mom. (LAUGHS) | Yeah, Mom. (LAUGHS) |
274 | 00:17:23,160 | 00:17:25,090 | They threw her out. | They threw her out. |
275 | 00:17:25,110 | 00:17:26,210 | I wonder what she did. | I wonder what she did. |
276 | 00:17:34,060 | 00:17:37,130 | JOHN: Do you mind telling the people at home what a good and fair boss I am? | JOHN: Do you mind telling the people at home what a good and fair boss I am? |