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# | Start | End | Original | Translated |
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1 | 00:00:02,478 | 00:00:05,390 | # They say I might as well face the truth | # They say I might as well face the truth |
2 | 00:00:05,918 | 00:00:08,955 | # That I am just too long in the tooth | # That I am just too long in the tooth |
3 | 00:00:09,198 | 00:00:12,235 | # So I'm an OAP and weak-kneed | # So I'm an OAP and weak-kneed |
4 | 00:00:12,798 | 00:00:15,790 | # But I have not yet quite gone to seed | # But I have not yet quite gone to seed |
5 | 00:00:16,278 | 00:00:20,237 | # I may be over the hill now that I have retired | # I may be over the hill now that I have retired |
6 | 00:00:20,438 | 00:00:23,828 | # Fading away but I've not yet expired | # Fading away but I've not yet expired |
7 | 00:00:23,918 | 00:00:27,194 | # Clapped out, run down, too old to save | # Clapped out, run down, too old to save |
8 | 00:00:27,398 | 00:00:30,310 | # One foot in the grave # | # One foot in the grave # |
9 | 00:00:33,278 | 00:00:35,746 | VICTOR: The absolute limit, that was | VICTOR: The absolute limit, that was |
10 | 00:00:35,838 | 00:00:38,033 | You wouldn't believe that anyone could pick their nose | You wouldn't believe that anyone could pick their nose |
11 | 00:00:38,118 | 00:00:41,110 | all the way through Dances With Wolves, would you? | all the way through Dances With Wolves, would you? |
12 | 00:00:41,198 | 00:00:44,156 | Three and a half hours I had to sit next to that | Three and a half hours I had to sit next to that |
13 | 00:00:44,238 | 00:00:47,594 | It was always the right nostril, he never touched the left one | It was always the right nostril, he never touched the left one |
14 | 00:00:47,678 | 00:00:49,669 | Always the one on my side | Always the one on my side |
15 | 00:00:49,758 | 00:00:52,397 | You'd think he was digging the Channel Tunnel | You'd think he was digging the Channel Tunnel |
16 | 00:00:52,478 | 00:00:54,275 | (KEYS CLINKING) | (KEYS CLINKING) |
17 | 00:00:54,358 | 00:00:57,031 | Come on, what's the matter? I'm ruddy freezing out here | Come on, what's the matter? I'm ruddy freezing out here |
18 | 00:00:57,118 | 00:01:01,987 | MARGARET: It won't turn It's jammed again, bloody thing! | MARGARET: It won't turn It's jammed again, bloody thing! |
19 | 00:01:02,158 | 00:01:04,353 | You're joking, surely Here, give it here | You're joking, surely Here, give it here |
20 | 00:01:04,438 | 00:01:08,317 | I managed it this morning by jiggling it slightly to the | I managed it this morning by jiggling it slightly to the |
21 | 00:01:10,038 | 00:01:11,187 | Bugger | Bugger |
22 | 00:01:11,718 | 00:01:13,709 | Turn, for God's sake | Turn, for God's sake |
23 | 00:01:13,878 | 00:01:17,348 | MARGARET: £260 we paid for this! | MARGARET: £260 we paid for this! |
24 | 00:01:17,438 | 00:01:21,556 | For a complete set of new locks so secure even we can't get in | For a complete set of new locks so secure even we can't get in |
25 | 00:01:22,638 | 00:01:25,198 | Good old Yellow Pages | Good old Yellow Pages |
26 | 00:01:31,478 | 00:01:33,150 | God Almighty | God Almighty |
27 | 00:01:33,238 | 00:01:38,517 | If I get through this alive, I'm never going to get anyone in to do anything ever again | If I get through this alive, I'm never going to get anyone in to do anything ever again |
28 | 00:01:38,918 | 00:01:39,907 | (GASPS) | (GASPS) |
29 | 00:01:39,998 | 00:01:43,877 | Oh, I've got ruddy cramp now all down my left side | Oh, I've got ruddy cramp now all down my left side |
30 | 00:01:43,958 | 00:01:45,277 | (GRUNTING) | (GRUNTING) |
31 | 00:01:45,518 | 00:01:47,031 | (PHONE RINGING) | (PHONE RINGING) |
32 | 00:01:53,878 | 00:01:54,993 | What? | What? |
33 | 00:01:57,918 | 00:01:59,715 | Yes, I know there is | Yes, I know there is |
34 | 00:02:00,038 | 00:02:01,915 | Yes, I know | Yes, I know |
35 | 00:02:02,238 | 00:02:03,466 | It's me | It's me |
36 | 00:02:03,878 | 00:02:07,393 | Yes, I'm on a ladder, going through my own bedroom window | Yes, I'm on a ladder, going through my own bedroom window |
37 | 00:02:08,918 | 00:02:10,874 | Why the hell do you think I'm doing it? | Why the hell do you think I'm doing it? |
38 | 00:02:10,958 | 00:02:13,597 | All because the lady loves Milk Tray? | All because the lady loves Milk Tray? |
39 | 00:02:13,678 | 00:02:15,953 | Pull your blinds and go back to bed | Pull your blinds and go back to bed |
40 | 00:02:17,318 | 00:02:19,513 | The mentality of some people | The mentality of some people |
41 | 00:02:20,918 | 00:02:22,237 | Are you all right? | Are you all right? |
42 | 00:02:22,318 | 00:02:24,912 | Hang on while I put some pillows down | Hang on while I put some pillows down |
43 | 00:02:25,158 | 00:02:27,547 | Yes, if you would It'll be a big help | Yes, if you would It'll be a big help |
44 | 00:02:28,158 | 00:02:29,750 | Just | Just |
45 | 00:02:31,798 | 00:02:33,834 | How the hell did you get back in? | How the hell did you get back in? |
46 | 00:02:33,918 | 00:02:38,196 | Oh, yes, well, I managed to jiggle it about somehow or other in the end | Oh, yes, well, I managed to jiggle it about somehow or other in the end |
47 | 00:02:38,398 | 00:02:40,389 | Funny, isn't it? It suddenly turned | Funny, isn't it? It suddenly turned |
48 | 00:02:40,478 | 00:02:41,513 | Funny? | Funny? |
49 | 00:02:41,598 | 00:02:46,547 | Yes, sometimes I wonder just how much priceless hilarity I can take in one evening | Yes, sometimes I wonder just how much priceless hilarity I can take in one evening |
50 | 00:02:48,000 | 00:02:54,074 | Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today | Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today |
51 | 00:02:58,558 | 00:03:02,710 | Why is it that no matter how long you stand there shaking it, | Why is it that no matter how long you stand there shaking it, |
52 | 00:03:04,158 | 00:03:07,594 | there's always one last drip that you have to dab off | there's always one last drip that you have to dab off |
53 | 00:03:08,358 | 00:03:10,553 | with a sheet of toilet paper? | with a sheet of toilet paper? |
54 | 00:03:11,398 | 00:03:15,186 | It's one of those strange facts of life you can never work out | It's one of those strange facts of life you can never work out |
55 | 00:03:16,558 | 00:03:20,710 | Did you say you would pick up the makings of that casserole for me this morning? | Did you say you would pick up the makings of that casserole for me this morning? |
56 | 00:03:20,798 | 00:03:22,993 | Oh, I suppose if I have to | Oh, I suppose if I have to |
57 | 00:03:23,078 | 00:03:27,310 | Run the gauntlet again with that woman at the greengrocers who seems to fancy me | Run the gauntlet again with that woman at the greengrocers who seems to fancy me |
58 | 00:03:27,398 | 00:03:31,471 | The one that keeps wrapping up my vegetables in a suggestive manner | The one that keeps wrapping up my vegetables in a suggestive manner |
59 | 00:03:31,558 | 00:03:33,071 | Wrapping up your what? | Wrapping up your what? |
60 | 00:03:33,158 | 00:03:36,594 | It's got so I'm afraid to go in there and ask for a parsnip | It's got so I'm afraid to go in there and ask for a parsnip |
61 | 00:03:36,678 | 00:03:41,115 | Got back last week and found lipstick marks on the end of a spring onion | Got back last week and found lipstick marks on the end of a spring onion |
62 | 00:03:41,558 | 00:03:44,630 | -What's that all about? -What are you talking | -What's that all about? -What are you talking |
63 | 00:03:45,078 | 00:03:47,273 | Are you talking about Millicent in the greengrocers? | Are you talking about Millicent in the greengrocers? |
64 | 00:03:47,358 | 00:03:50,475 | Millicent Miles fancies you? | Millicent Miles fancies you? |
65 | 00:03:50,558 | 00:03:52,833 | Oh, God, she must be desperate! | Oh, God, she must be desperate! |
66 | 00:03:53,278 | 00:03:55,269 | I'm not imagining it | I'm not imagining it |
67 | 00:03:55,358 | 00:03:59,670 | I can feel her mentally skinning my beetroot every time she looks at me | I can feel her mentally skinning my beetroot every time she looks at me |
68 | 00:03:59,958 | 00:04:02,631 | I mean, you would think that a woman of her age might | I mean, you would think that a woman of her age might |
69 | 00:04:02,718 | 00:04:04,310 | (GASPING) | (GASPING) |
70 | 00:04:08,998 | 00:04:10,272 | (GROANING) | (GROANING) |
71 | 00:04:10,598 | 00:04:12,156 | What have you done now? | What have you done now? |
72 | 00:04:12,238 | 00:04:16,629 | I've just put Olbas Oil on that You know it stings to high heaven | I've just put Olbas Oil on that You know it stings to high heaven |
73 | 00:04:16,718 | 00:04:19,073 | Stings? It's nearly taken my eye out | Stings? It's nearly taken my eye out |
74 | 00:04:19,158 | 00:04:21,194 | (DOORBELL RINGING) | (DOORBELL RINGING) |
75 | 00:04:25,838 | 00:04:30,434 | Take your life in your hands every time you blow your nose in this house | Take your life in your hands every time you blow your nose in this house |
76 | 00:04:34,038 | 00:04:36,313 | Oh, shit | Oh, shit |
77 | 00:04:41,798 | 00:04:43,231 | -Morning -Morning | -Morning -Morning |
78 | 00:04:43,318 | 00:04:45,513 | Thank you Thank you | Thank you Thank you |
79 | 00:04:46,118 | 00:04:47,153 | Ah! | Ah! |
80 | 00:04:47,238 | 00:04:49,877 | My tickets for Wembley, Thursday night | My tickets for Wembley, Thursday night |
81 | 00:04:50,878 | 00:04:52,516 | Now, what's this? | Now, what's this? |
82 | 00:04:55,838 | 00:05:00,116 | Surely not that new pair of gloves I sent away for | Surely not that new pair of gloves I sent away for |
83 | 00:05:01,758 | 00:05:06,309 | Oh, in the name of sanity, what's this? | Oh, in the name of sanity, what's this? |
84 | 00:05:06,998 | 00:05:10,547 | Can't anyone get anything right anymore? | Can't anyone get anything right anymore? |
85 | 00:05:12,438 | 00:05:13,666 | (SIGHING) | (SIGHING) |
86 | 00:05:29,918 | 00:05:31,636 | (DOORKNOB RATTLING) | (DOORKNOB RATTLING) |
87 | 00:06:13,638 | 00:06:14,832 | (SPLUTTERING) | (SPLUTTERING) |
88 | 00:06:14,918 | 00:06:17,386 | I do not believe it! | I do not believe it! |
89 | 00:06:17,478 | 00:06:19,275 | What's happened now? | What's happened now? |
90 | 00:06:19,718 | 00:06:22,107 | Someone's just stolen our fridge | Someone's just stolen our fridge |
91 | 00:06:22,958 | 00:06:24,710 | Just Just then | Just Just then |
92 | 00:06:24,918 | 00:06:27,990 | When I went upstairs, as bold as brass, they must just have come | When I went upstairs, as bold as brass, they must just have come |
93 | 00:06:28,078 | 00:06:29,511 | (SPLUTTERING) | (SPLUTTERING) |
94 | 00:06:34,438 | 00:06:35,427 | Stolen? The fridge? | Stolen? The fridge? |
95 | 00:06:35,518 | 00:06:37,031 | (PHONE RINGING) | (PHONE RINGING) |
96 | 00:06:40,878 | 00:06:41,993 | ||
98 | 97 | 00:06:43,398 --> 00:06:44,672 Speaking | 00:06:43,398 --> 00:06:44,672 Speaking | |
97 | 00:06:45,038 | 00:06:46,107 | Yes | Yes |
98 | 00:06:48,598 | 00:06:49,997 | Oh, my God | Oh, my God |
99 | 00:06:51,678 | 00:06:53,191 | Well | Well |
100 | 00:06:53,278 | 00:06:56,873 | Do they know what ward she's in or anything? | Do they know what ward she's in or anything? |
101 | 00:06:57,678 | 00:06:59,908 | Ah, right Bye | Ah, right Bye |
102 | 00:06:59,998 | 00:07:03,627 | Just saw the top of it disappearing down the road in a truck | Just saw the top of it disappearing down the road in a truck |
103 | 00:07:03,718 | 00:07:08,473 | I mean, can you believe that? Can you actually believe that? | I mean, can you believe that? Can you actually believe that? |
104 | 00:07:09,038 | 00:07:10,869 | Jean's had an accident | Jean's had an accident |
105 | 00:07:10,958 | 00:07:13,518 | What? When? What, a bad one? | What? When? What, a bad one? |
106 | 00:07:13,598 | 00:07:16,670 | Last night On her way back from her sister's in Blackpool | Last night On her way back from her sister's in Blackpool |
107 | 00:07:16,758 | 00:07:19,113 | The car went off the road into a ditch | The car went off the road into a ditch |
108 | 00:07:19,198 | 00:07:22,315 | They've taken her up the General so | They've taken her up the General so |
109 | 00:07:22,758 | 00:07:25,477 | I'll meet you up there in my lunch hour, all right? | I'll meet you up there in my lunch hour, all right? |
110 | 00:07:29,278 | 00:07:30,597 | Oh, hello | Oh, hello |
111 | 00:07:30,798 | 00:07:33,710 | Don't worry She's not as bad as she looks Most of it's superficial | Don't worry She's not as bad as she looks Most of it's superficial |
112 | 00:07:33,798 | 00:07:36,232 | The main thing is this nasty crack all the way round her jaw | The main thing is this nasty crack all the way round her jaw |
113 | 00:07:36,318 | 00:07:38,912 | So, I'm afraid she won't really be able to speak to you at all | So, I'm afraid she won't really be able to speak to you at all |
114 | 00:07:38,998 | 00:07:41,307 | Oh, really? Oh, dear | Oh, really? Oh, dear |
115 | 00:07:41,398 | 00:07:46,552 | Oh, and her spirits are very low I think she could definitely do with some cheering up | Oh, and her spirits are very low I think she could definitely do with some cheering up |
116 | 00:07:48,918 | 00:07:49,907 | Uh | Uh |
117 | 00:07:50,078 | 00:07:53,593 | I don't suppose you know if you'll be out by Christmas or not? | I don't suppose you know if you'll be out by Christmas or not? |
118 | 00:07:53,678 | 00:07:55,236 | (MUMBLING) | (MUMBLING) |
119 | 00:07:55,518 | 00:07:56,837 | Sorry? | Sorry? |
120 | 00:07:58,358 | 00:08:00,553 | Hang on, I've got a pen here | Hang on, I've got a pen here |
121 | 00:08:05,918 | 00:08:07,271 | What's this? | What's this? |
122 | 00:08:07,598 | 00:08:09,236 | ''Commode'' What | ''Commode'' What |
123 | 00:08:09,318 | 00:08:11,115 | You mean, you want to | You mean, you want to |
124 | 00:08:11,198 | 00:08:12,313 | (MUMBLING) | (MUMBLING) |
125 | 00:08:12,398 | 00:08:15,390 | Oh, well, just hang on a second, then | Oh, well, just hang on a second, then |
126 | 00:08:19,718 | 00:08:21,310 | Oh, excuse me | Oh, excuse me |
127 | 00:08:23,278 | 00:08:24,870 | JEAN: Margaret! | JEAN: Margaret! |
128 | 00:08:31,598 | 00:08:33,077 | Thanks for coming | Thanks for coming |
129 | 00:08:34,398 | 00:08:36,389 | They said you were in a private room | They said you were in a private room |
130 | 00:08:36,598 | 00:08:40,068 | I was at first It's like musical chairs in this place | I was at first It's like musical chairs in this place |
131 | 00:08:40,438 | 00:08:43,271 | All right, you just put your arm around me | All right, you just put your arm around me |
132 | 00:08:43,878 | 00:08:45,197 | That's it | That's it |
133 | 00:08:46,598 | 00:08:47,917 | That's it | That's it |
134 | 00:08:52,198 | 00:08:53,916 | Easier, please | Easier, please |
135 | 00:08:57,078 | 00:08:59,433 | Oh, read that Read all these | Oh, read that Read all these |
136 | 00:08:59,678 | 00:09:02,112 | Oh, I tell you what I did do up there | Oh, I tell you what I did do up there |
137 | 00:09:02,198 | 00:09:07,318 | Guess what? On my very first day, I won first prize in a competition | Guess what? On my very first day, I won first prize in a competition |
138 | 00:09:08,198 | 00:09:11,986 | In Louis Tussaud's You know, the big waxwork museum on the front | In Louis Tussaud's You know, the big waxwork museum on the front |
139 | 00:09:12,078 | 00:09:15,593 | -In Blackpool? -Guess who bought the winning lottery ticket | -In Blackpool? -Guess who bought the winning lottery ticket |
140 | 00:09:15,838 | 00:09:17,476 | So what did you win? | So what did you win? |
141 | 00:09:17,558 | 00:09:21,756 | Well, I had a choice of £500 in cash | Well, I had a choice of £500 in cash |
142 | 00:09:21,838 | 00:09:23,715 | £500! | £500! |
143 | 00:09:23,798 | 00:09:25,993 | or, now don't laugh, | or, now don't laugh, |
144 | 00:09:26,958 | 00:09:30,348 | a chance to have a waxwork made of myself, | a chance to have a waxwork made of myself, |
145 | 00:09:30,438 | 00:09:35,034 | all properly modelled with casts and everything, by one of their experts | all properly modelled with casts and everything, by one of their experts |
146 | 00:09:35,438 | 00:09:36,996 | Right | Right |
147 | 00:09:39,958 | 00:09:41,710 | Which did you choose? | Which did you choose? |
148 | 00:09:42,518 | 00:09:44,952 | And then, now can you believe this? | And then, now can you believe this? |
149 | 00:09:45,478 | 00:09:49,790 | Some bastard forces open the back door and waltzes away with our fridge | Some bastard forces open the back door and waltzes away with our fridge |
150 | 00:09:51,638 | 00:09:54,596 | Well, I suppose I better be moving | Well, I suppose I better be moving |
151 | 00:09:54,798 | 00:09:57,631 | I don't know what's happened to Margaret today, I'm sure | I don't know what's happened to Margaret today, I'm sure |
152 | 00:09:57,718 | 00:09:58,787 | Oh! | Oh! |
153 | 00:09:58,878 | 00:10:01,836 | Your favourite TV programme will just be starting, won't it? | Your favourite TV programme will just be starting, won't it? |
154 | 00:10:01,918 | 00:10:04,386 | Let me just switch that on for you | Let me just switch that on for you |
155 | 00:10:04,678 | 00:10:06,748 | (NEIGHBOURS THEME TUNE ON TV) | (NEIGHBOURS THEME TUNE ON TV) |
156 | 00:10:08,678 | 00:10:10,828 | Well, I'll see you again, I expect | Well, I'll see you again, I expect |
157 | 00:10:10,918 | 00:10:14,115 | All right And I hope you're feeling better soon | All right And I hope you're feeling better soon |
158 | 00:10:14,478 | 00:10:17,754 | Goodbye, Mrs Warboys Goodbye | Goodbye, Mrs Warboys Goodbye |
159 | 00:10:18,318 | 00:10:19,637 | (GROANING) | (GROANING) |
160 | 00:10:27,358 | 00:10:28,837 | VICTOR: Oh, wonderful | VICTOR: Oh, wonderful |
161 | 00:10:28,918 | 00:10:32,149 | That's all we need, isn't it? A wax dummy of Mrs Warboys cluttering up the house | That's all we need, isn't it? A wax dummy of Mrs Warboys cluttering up the house |
162 | 00:10:32,238 | 00:10:34,308 | What on earth possessed her, for goodness sake? | What on earth possessed her, for goodness sake? |
163 | 00:10:34,398 | 00:10:36,468 | It's being sent down on Thursday | It's being sent down on Thursday |
164 | 00:10:36,558 | 00:10:41,109 | And she won't be there to take delivery of it Oh, what else was I supposed to say? | And she won't be there to take delivery of it Oh, what else was I supposed to say? |
165 | 00:10:41,198 | 00:10:44,076 | We could always stick it upstairs in the spare room or somewhere | We could always stick it upstairs in the spare room or somewhere |
166 | 00:10:44,158 | 00:10:46,194 | Yes, well, let's just keep it away from the radiator | Yes, well, let's just keep it away from the radiator |
167 | 00:10:46,278 | 00:10:48,951 | or she might start dripping through the floorboards | or she might start dripping through the floorboards |
168 | 00:10:51,478 | 00:10:53,628 | Oh, yes Do you really? | Oh, yes Do you really? |
169 | 00:10:53,878 | 00:10:56,790 | I seem to remember you swore on your grandmother's grave | I seem to remember you swore on your grandmother's grave |
170 | 00:10:56,878 | 00:10:58,789 | to come round yesterday | to come round yesterday |
171 | 00:10:58,918 | 00:11:01,432 | Pity she's not buried in quicksand | Pity she's not buried in quicksand |
172 | 00:11:02,878 | 00:11:03,993 | What? | What? |
173 | 00:11:04,158 | 00:11:07,275 | Because we can't open the front or the back now | Because we can't open the front or the back now |
174 | 00:11:07,358 | 00:11:10,191 | It took us half an hour to get this locked again properly yesterday | It took us half an hour to get this locked again properly yesterday |
175 | 00:11:10,278 | 00:11:12,917 | And now the key has broken off | And now the key has broken off |
176 | 00:11:12,998 | 00:11:15,831 | Are you listening to a cricket match there? | Are you listening to a cricket match there? |
177 | 00:11:15,918 | 00:11:17,271 | (DOORBELL RINGING) | (DOORBELL RINGING) |
178 | 00:11:17,358 | 00:11:19,918 | Oh, can you hold on a minute, please? | Oh, can you hold on a minute, please? |
179 | 00:11:20,878 | 00:11:22,231 | Just a sec | Just a sec |
180 | 00:11:27,918 | 00:11:28,907 | Oh | Oh |
181 | 00:11:29,358 | 00:11:32,270 | Don't worry, I haven't come for your fridge | Don't worry, I haven't come for your fridge |
182 | 00:11:32,358 | 00:11:34,474 | Hello Good morning How are you? | Hello Good morning How are you? |
183 | 00:11:34,558 | 00:11:37,948 | I'm afraid we're still trying to get those locks sorted out, actually | I'm afraid we're still trying to get those locks sorted out, actually |
184 | 00:11:38,038 | 00:11:39,915 | Bad as the one on the back of my van, then | Bad as the one on the back of my van, then |
185 | 00:11:39,998 | 00:11:43,070 | Someone had that off last week It's the age we live in | Someone had that off last week It's the age we live in |
186 | 00:11:43,158 | 00:11:45,433 | Anyway, me darling, I've got your maris pipers out here | Anyway, me darling, I've got your maris pipers out here |
187 | 00:11:45,518 | 00:11:47,349 | -I won't be a tick -Oh, right, right | -I won't be a tick -Oh, right, right |
188 | 00:11:48,438 | 00:11:50,554 | Uh, are you still there? Hello? | Uh, are you still there? Hello? |
189 | 00:11:50,638 | 00:11:51,991 | Yes Right | Yes Right |
190 | 00:11:52,238 | 00:11:54,069 | And you've got my address there? | And you've got my address there? |
191 | 00:11:54,158 | 00:11:57,195 | Yes, it's Victor Meldrew, care of Alcatraz | Yes, it's Victor Meldrew, care of Alcatraz |
192 | 00:11:59,478 | 00:12:01,150 | No, no, no What are you doing? Hold on | No, no, no What are you doing? Hold on |
193 | 00:12:01,238 | 00:12:03,229 | It's all right, Victor, I'm a big girl | It's all right, Victor, I'm a big girl |
194 | 00:12:03,318 | 00:12:05,878 | -I've got it -I think I can manage Oh! | -I've got it -I think I can manage Oh! |
195 | 00:12:05,958 | 00:12:07,835 | Oh, I'm sorry | Oh, I'm sorry |
196 | 00:12:07,918 | 00:12:11,672 | If it's not one thing, it's another with me just lately | If it's not one thing, it's another with me just lately |
197 | 00:12:11,758 | 00:12:13,157 | Don't worry | Don't worry |
198 | 00:12:13,718 | 00:12:16,232 | What with yesterday in the pub | What with yesterday in the pub |
199 | 00:12:16,318 | 00:12:18,593 | A young girl went for my purse | A young girl went for my purse |
200 | 00:12:18,678 | 00:12:21,750 | Just stuck her hand under the table and grabbed hold of it | Just stuck her hand under the table and grabbed hold of it |
201 | 00:12:21,838 | 00:12:23,715 | Poor old Piers, is he okay? | Poor old Piers, is he okay? |
202 | 00:12:28,518 | 00:12:29,871 | Your husband? | Your husband? |
203 | 00:12:30,158 | 00:12:32,353 | I lost my husband five years ago | I lost my husband five years ago |
204 | 00:12:33,638 | 00:12:36,311 | Oh, uh Sorry | Oh, uh Sorry |
205 | 00:12:36,678 | 00:12:39,317 | We weren't that close towards the end | We weren't that close towards the end |
206 | 00:12:39,478 | 00:12:41,946 | I think you get a feeling, don't you? | I think you get a feeling, don't you? |
207 | 00:12:42,038 | 00:12:44,836 | When something's there and when it isn't | When something's there and when it isn't |
208 | 00:12:53,518 | 00:12:55,236 | Morning, Millicent | Morning, Millicent |
209 | 00:12:55,358 | 00:12:57,952 | You know the back door of your van's wide open? | You know the back door of your van's wide open? |
210 | 00:12:58,038 | 00:13:01,951 | Mrs Aylesbury's boys are out there practising dropkicks with an aubergine | Mrs Aylesbury's boys are out there practising dropkicks with an aubergine |
211 | 00:13:02,038 | 00:13:03,266 | Oh, they're not | Oh, they're not |
212 | 00:13:03,358 | 00:13:06,111 | -Well, I'll love you and leave you then, Victor -Yes | -Well, I'll love you and leave you then, Victor -Yes |
213 | 00:13:06,198 | 00:13:08,553 | You can settle up with me next week | You can settle up with me next week |
214 | 00:13:11,558 | 00:13:12,957 | What happened to this? | What happened to this? |
215 | 00:13:13,038 | 00:13:16,747 | The thread in the middle section's broken I think we'll have to get a new one | The thread in the middle section's broken I think we'll have to get a new one |
216 | 00:13:16,838 | 00:13:18,112 | Oh, right | Oh, right |
217 | 00:13:18,198 | 00:13:20,587 | Well, perhaps we can have a look the next time we're | Well, perhaps we can have a look the next time we're |
218 | 00:13:20,678 | 00:13:24,387 | Oh, my God When did this arrive? | Oh, my God When did this arrive? |
219 | 00:13:24,478 | 00:13:27,675 | Oh, yes, just after you went round the corner, 1 0:30 | Oh, yes, just after you went round the corner, 1 0:30 |
220 | 00:13:28,678 | 00:13:31,397 | Haven't you opened it yet to have a look? | Haven't you opened it yet to have a look? |
221 | 00:13:31,478 | 00:13:33,946 | I'm afraid I have Yes | I'm afraid I have Yes |
222 | 00:13:34,678 | 00:13:35,747 | And? | And? |
223 | 00:13:42,678 | 00:13:46,717 | -I'll go and see to the potatoes -Right | -I'll go and see to the potatoes -Right |
224 | 00:13:48,158 | 00:13:51,275 | Six hours of just sitting here waiting | Six hours of just sitting here waiting |
225 | 00:13:51,558 | 00:13:54,675 | Well, I've had enough of this bloody caper now | Well, I've had enough of this bloody caper now |
226 | 00:13:54,878 | 00:13:58,507 | Have you been wiping up the cheese grater with this again? | Have you been wiping up the cheese grater with this again? |
227 | 00:13:58,718 | 00:14:01,676 | 5:00, it was obvious he wasn't coming Rang up the shop | 5:00, it was obvious he wasn't coming Rang up the shop |
228 | 00:14:01,758 | 00:14:05,433 | ''Oh, I'm sorry, he's gone home now And it's his day off tomorrow'' | ''Oh, I'm sorry, he's gone home now And it's his day off tomorrow'' |
229 | 00:14:05,518 | 00:14:08,476 | I'll give him a bloody day off, ruddy locksmiths | I'll give him a bloody day off, ruddy locksmiths |
230 | 00:14:12,238 | 00:14:15,071 | MARGARET: What time train are you catching tomorrow? | MARGARET: What time train are you catching tomorrow? |
231 | 00:14:15,158 | 00:14:17,626 | 5:55, we're all meeting at the station | 5:55, we're all meeting at the station |
232 | 00:14:17,718 | 00:14:19,470 | Kick-off's 7:30 | Kick-off's 7:30 |
233 | 00:14:19,558 | 00:14:24,871 | Which should just be fine, give me time this afternoon to run one or two little errands | Which should just be fine, give me time this afternoon to run one or two little errands |
234 | 00:14:27,078 | 00:14:29,034 | What sort of errands? | What sort of errands? |
235 | 00:14:44,318 | 00:14:46,468 | -Yeah? -Good afternoon Mr Laverick? | -Yeah? -Good afternoon Mr Laverick? |
236 | 00:14:46,758 | 00:14:50,831 | Of Laverick Locks and Bolts for all your household security needs? | Of Laverick Locks and Bolts for all your household security needs? |
237 | 00:14:50,918 | 00:14:53,273 | -Yeah -Ah Sorry to trouble you, my name is Meldrew | -Yeah -Ah Sorry to trouble you, my name is Meldrew |
238 | 00:14:53,358 | 00:14:57,351 | We've spoken several times on the phone about some work you did for me last Friday | We've spoken several times on the phone about some work you did for me last Friday |
239 | 00:14:58,358 | 00:15:02,510 | Mr Meldrew! How are you? I haven't forgotten you | Mr Meldrew! How are you? I haven't forgotten you |
240 | 00:15:02,598 | 00:15:04,714 | Only, we've had a few problems at the office this week | Only, we've had a few problems at the office this week |
241 | 00:15:04,798 | 00:15:07,187 | I can only apologise most sincerely | I can only apologise most sincerely |
242 | 00:15:07,278 | 00:15:09,951 | and I promise someone will be around first thing tomorrow morning, | and I promise someone will be around first thing tomorrow morning, |
243 | 00:15:10,038 | 00:15:11,915 | on my absolute word of honour | on my absolute word of honour |
244 | 00:15:11,998 | 00:15:15,752 | Yes, well, I'm afraid I'm not really interested in your word of honour, Mr Laverick | Yes, well, I'm afraid I'm not really interested in your word of honour, Mr Laverick |
245 | 00:15:15,838 | 00:15:18,398 | I waited in all day for you four times now | I waited in all day for you four times now |
246 | 00:15:18,478 | 00:15:22,437 | and, to be honest, I'm not prepared to be pissed around any longer | and, to be honest, I'm not prepared to be pissed around any longer |
247 | 00:15:22,518 | 00:15:24,110 | Awful midges | Awful midges |
248 | 00:15:24,198 | 00:15:27,634 | If I were you, I'd keep this door shut before they get everywhere | If I were you, I'd keep this door shut before they get everywhere |
249 | 00:15:27,718 | 00:15:28,946 | What | What |
250 | 00:15:29,038 | 00:15:30,710 | (LAVERICK SPLUTTERING) | (LAVERICK SPLUTTERING) |
251 | 00:15:30,798 | 00:15:33,073 | You won't want them in your porch, either, will you? | You won't want them in your porch, either, will you? |
252 | 00:15:33,158 | 00:15:37,117 | There we are That's all nice and secure for you, isn't it? | There we are That's all nice and secure for you, isn't it? |
253 | 00:15:37,198 | 00:15:39,632 | You demented fool! What the hell are you playing at? | You demented fool! What the hell are you playing at? |
254 | 00:15:39,718 | 00:15:44,189 | It's all right Your wife will probably let you back in when she gets | It's all right Your wife will probably let you back in when she gets |
255 | 00:15:44,278 | 00:15:47,873 | Oh, no, I tell a lie Didn't someone say that you lived on your own? | Oh, no, I tell a lie Didn't someone say that you lived on your own? |
256 | 00:15:47,958 | 00:15:49,869 | Yes, of course they did | Yes, of course they did |
257 | 00:15:51,438 | 00:15:55,954 | In that case, you'll very probably be wanting this back | In that case, you'll very probably be wanting this back |
258 | 00:15:56,038 | 00:15:58,108 | Give me back the bloody key! | Give me back the bloody key! |
259 | 00:15:58,198 | 00:16:02,589 | I'm sorry? Oh, what, you mean you'd like it posted through the letterbox? | I'm sorry? Oh, what, you mean you'd like it posted through the letterbox? |
260 | 00:16:03,118 | 00:16:05,678 | -Yes! -Yes, what? | -Yes! -Yes, what? |
261 | 00:16:07,758 | 00:16:08,907 | Yes | Yes |
262 | 00:16:10,678 | 00:16:12,191 | please | please |
263 | 00:16:12,718 | 00:16:15,471 | Righty-o, then There we are | Righty-o, then There we are |
264 | 00:16:19,758 | 00:16:22,067 | I've put a first class stamp on it, | I've put a first class stamp on it, |
265 | 00:16:23,558 | 00:16:25,992 | so it should be with you first thing in the morning | so it should be with you first thing in the morning |
266 | 00:16:26,078 | 00:16:29,673 | Oh, and in the meantime, be very careful of that umbrella plant | Oh, and in the meantime, be very careful of that umbrella plant |
267 | 00:16:29,758 | 00:16:31,555 | They don't like a lot of water | They don't like a lot of water |
268 | 00:16:40,558 | 00:16:42,310 | (BRAKES SQUEAKING) | (BRAKES SQUEAKING) |
269 | 00:16:42,398 | 00:16:45,595 | -MILLICENT: Cheer up, it may never happen -Oh | -MILLICENT: Cheer up, it may never happen -Oh |
270 | 00:16:45,758 | 00:16:49,307 | Can I give you a lift anywhere? You'll be waiting there till doomsday | Can I give you a lift anywhere? You'll be waiting there till doomsday |
271 | 00:16:49,398 | 00:16:52,595 | I know I'm supposed to be catching a train at 6:00 | I know I'm supposed to be catching a train at 6:00 |
272 | 00:16:56,158 | 00:17:00,356 | Let's see if we can squeeze you in the back, then Shouldn't take more than 1 0 minutes | Let's see if we can squeeze you in the back, then Shouldn't take more than 1 0 minutes |
273 | 00:17:08,038 | 00:17:12,668 | Sorry about all this palaver I'll get around to fixing it one of these days | Sorry about all this palaver I'll get around to fixing it one of these days |
274 | 00:17:14,918 | 00:17:17,193 | If you can find a space between the collies | If you can find a space between the collies |
275 | 00:17:17,278 | 00:17:19,508 | I'm sorry I'm all a bit chocker at the moment | I'm sorry I'm all a bit chocker at the moment |
276 | 00:17:19,598 | 00:17:23,716 | Yes, well, I don't think I'll be bothered about that, so long as I get there | Yes, well, I don't think I'll be bothered about that, so long as I get there |
277 | 00:17:23,798 | 00:17:27,268 | In? There you are You get yourself comfy, Victor | In? There you are You get yourself comfy, Victor |
278 | 00:17:27,358 | 00:17:29,428 | I've got one quick call on the way | I've got one quick call on the way |
279 | 00:17:29,518 | 00:17:31,110 | We'll have bags of time | We'll have bags of time |
280 | 00:18:14,478 | 00:18:18,391 | Hello, Mad, it's only me Are you well today? | Hello, Mad, it's only me Are you well today? |
281 | 00:18:19,878 | 00:18:21,675 | (VICTOR SHOUTING) | (VICTOR SHOUTING) |
282 | 00:18:25,558 | 00:18:27,310 | (KNOCKING ON DOOR) | (KNOCKING ON DOOR) |
283 | 00:18:29,758 | 00:18:31,157 | Anyone home? | Anyone home? |
284 | 00:18:33,558 | 00:18:38,109 | Oh, I see you've managed to get that lock off, then, from the back door at last | Oh, I see you've managed to get that lock off, then, from the back door at last |
285 | 00:18:39,638 | 00:18:40,912 | Margaret? | Margaret? |
286 | 00:18:42,198 | 00:18:43,472 | Margaret? | Margaret? |
287 | 00:18:45,798 | 00:18:47,026 | (SIGHING) | (SIGHING) |
288 | 00:18:58,638 | 00:19:01,391 | Margaret? What are you | Margaret? What are you |
289 | 00:19:05,558 | 00:19:07,150 | Oh, Jean | Oh, Jean |
290 | 00:19:08,678 | 00:19:12,717 | -When did you come out? -Oh, they turfed me out a couple of hours ago, | -When did you come out? -Oh, they turfed me out a couple of hours ago, |
291 | 00:19:12,798 | 00:19:14,789 | said they needed the bed | said they needed the bed |
292 | 00:19:15,318 | 00:19:18,628 | Naturally, I couldn't wait to get round here and | Naturally, I couldn't wait to get round here and |
293 | 00:19:19,398 | 00:19:21,912 | Well, where is it? | Well, where is it? |
294 | 00:19:23,118 | 00:19:26,713 | Ah Um, we put it in the spare room | Ah Um, we put it in the spare room |
295 | 00:19:35,278 | 00:19:40,636 | What can I say, Victor? Didn't I say things keep happening just lately? | What can I say, Victor? Didn't I say things keep happening just lately? |
296 | 00:19:40,718 | 00:19:42,515 | I'm really so sorry | I'm really so sorry |
297 | 00:19:43,118 | 00:19:45,757 | Your big trip to Wembley and everything | Your big trip to Wembley and everything |
298 | 00:19:45,838 | 00:19:47,715 | and it's all my fault | and it's all my fault |
299 | 00:19:48,278 | 00:19:50,746 | Yes, well | Yes, well |
300 | 00:20:02,718 | 00:20:07,075 | Look, it's not the same, no way it's the same, | Look, it's not the same, no way it's the same, |
301 | 00:20:07,438 | 00:20:10,669 | but if you wanna stop off at my place and watch it on the box, | but if you wanna stop off at my place and watch it on the box, |
302 | 00:20:10,758 | 00:20:14,194 | -you're more than welcome -It's not on the box | -you're more than welcome -It's not on the box |
303 | 00:20:14,278 | 00:20:17,315 | On satellite it is On the sports channel | On satellite it is On the sports channel |
304 | 00:20:17,678 | 00:20:22,706 | I mean, it's the very least I can do for you, after everything | I mean, it's the very least I can do for you, after everything |
305 | 00:20:31,078 | 00:20:32,636 | Funny, isn't it? | Funny, isn't it? |
306 | 00:20:33,598 | 00:20:37,955 | For the best part of a month I've been dying for this moment and now | For the best part of a month I've been dying for this moment and now |
307 | 00:20:39,438 | 00:20:43,556 | I must have been out of my tiny mind | I must have been out of my tiny mind |
308 | 00:20:43,998 | 00:20:47,308 | to think that anyone would want this in their house | to think that anyone would want this in their house |
309 | 00:20:48,118 | 00:20:50,507 | Other than to scare away the rats | Other than to scare away the rats |
310 | 00:20:52,118 | 00:20:56,191 | -It's absolutely hideous -It's a very good likeness, though | -It's absolutely hideous -It's a very good likeness, though |
311 | 00:21:02,598 | 00:21:06,830 | Well, it's nice, the way they've caught your smile and everything | Well, it's nice, the way they've caught your smile and everything |
312 | 00:21:07,798 | 00:21:09,789 | Yes Well | Yes Well |
313 | 00:21:11,158 | 00:21:14,434 | -What day do the dustmen come round here? -Friday | -What day do the dustmen come round here? -Friday |
314 | 00:21:18,758 | 00:21:20,953 | I'll give you a ring sometime, then | I'll give you a ring sometime, then |
315 | 00:21:21,398 | 00:21:24,549 | -Wait You can't leave it -Good night, Margaret | -Wait You can't leave it -Good night, Margaret |
316 | 00:21:29,038 | 00:21:32,667 | COMMENTATOR: (ON TV) I'm afraid we have to say that on the day, | COMMENTATOR: (ON TV) I'm afraid we have to say that on the day, |
317 | 00:21:32,758 | 00:21:37,149 | neither side really managed to find the reserves of form or character | neither side really managed to find the reserves of form or character |
318 | 00:21:37,238 | 00:21:40,594 | that were needed to lift this match out of the doldrums. | that were needed to lift this match out of the doldrums. |
319 | 00:21:41,638 | 00:21:43,117 | (SIGHING) | (SIGHING) |
320 | 00:21:43,758 | 00:21:46,795 | I don't suppose I missed very much in the end | I don't suppose I missed very much in the end |
321 | 00:21:53,598 | 00:21:57,910 | So, you're going to leave me now, are you? All on my own? | So, you're going to leave me now, are you? All on my own? |
322 | 00:21:58,798 | 00:21:59,947 | Sorry? | Sorry? |
323 | 00:22:01,878 | 00:22:03,789 | Oh, yes | Oh, yes |
324 | 00:22:03,918 | 00:22:07,877 | I thought I'd walk home and get some fresh air | I thought I'd walk home and get some fresh air |
325 | 00:22:07,958 | 00:22:12,907 | Oh, I don't know The scrapes we get into, the pair of us | Oh, I don't know The scrapes we get into, the pair of us |
326 | 00:22:13,638 | 00:22:17,426 | I suppose we're very much alike really, when it comes to it | I suppose we're very much alike really, when it comes to it |
327 | 00:22:21,918 | 00:22:24,113 | Anyway, bedtime | Anyway, bedtime |
328 | 00:22:26,278 | 00:22:27,757 | Hm? | Hm? |
329 | 00:22:27,838 | 00:22:31,956 | If you're going to walk out on me, there's not much to stay up for | If you're going to walk out on me, there's not much to stay up for |
330 | 00:22:34,038 | 00:22:35,073 | No | No |
331 | 00:23:06,758 | 00:23:08,476 | (TELEPHONE RINGING) | (TELEPHONE RINGING) |
332 | 00:23:19,798 | 00:23:21,117 | ||
335 | 334 | 00:23:21,198 --> 00:23:24,713 Hello, Margaret? It's Millicent from the greengrocers | 00:23:21,198 --> 00:23:24,713 Hello, Margaret? It's Millicent from the greengrocers | |
333 | 00:23:24,798 | 00:23:26,356 | Victor still not home yet? | Victor still not home yet? |
334 | 00:23:26,918 | 00:23:31,548 | Uh, no He's in London with some friends for the football I don't imagine he'll be | Uh, no He's in London with some friends for the football I don't imagine he'll be |
335 | 00:23:32,238 | 00:23:33,591 | How did you know that? | How did you know that? |
336 | 00:23:33,678 | 00:23:38,069 | Ah Well, I don't suppose there's any point in trying to keep it from you | Ah Well, I don't suppose there's any point in trying to keep it from you |
337 | 00:23:38,158 | 00:23:41,912 | I'm afraid your husband didn't actually go to London tonight | I'm afraid your husband didn't actually go to London tonight |
338 | 00:23:42,238 | 00:23:44,672 | He's been here, at my place | He's been here, at my place |
339 | 00:23:45,518 | 00:23:48,396 | I don't think I need to paint a picture, do I? | I don't think I need to paint a picture, do I? |
340 | 00:23:48,478 | 00:23:52,107 | Suffice to say, it was a lot more fun than football | Suffice to say, it was a lot more fun than football |
341 | 00:24:15,238 | 00:24:16,910 | You're back early | You're back early |
342 | 00:24:18,358 | 00:24:19,791 | Oh, yes | Oh, yes |
343 | 00:24:21,398 | 00:24:24,947 | Margaret, I can't believe what I've done | Margaret, I can't believe what I've done |
344 | 00:24:26,038 | 00:24:30,714 | It was one of those stupid moments of weakness that | It was one of those stupid moments of weakness that |
345 | 00:24:33,718 | 00:24:38,030 | -Would you like to tell me about it? -Not really | -Would you like to tell me about it? -Not really |
346 | 00:24:38,118 | 00:24:40,313 | Tell me about it! | Tell me about it! |
347 | 00:24:47,518 | 00:24:50,112 | I locked that locksmith in his porch | I locked that locksmith in his porch |
348 | 00:24:52,278 | 00:24:56,066 | -What? -I went round to see him, locked him in his porch, | -What? -I went round to see him, locked him in his porch, |
349 | 00:24:56,158 | 00:24:59,116 | took the key away and posted it back to him | took the key away and posted it back to him |
350 | 00:24:59,998 | 00:25:02,717 | I suppose I must be cracking up altogether now | I suppose I must be cracking up altogether now |
351 | 00:25:03,478 | 00:25:07,551 | Locksmith? I'm talking about Millicent! | Locksmith? I'm talking about Millicent! |
352 | 00:25:08,478 | 00:25:13,950 | I've just had her on the phone telling me that you've been round at her house tonight | I've just had her on the phone telling me that you've been round at her house tonight |
353 | 00:25:14,358 | 00:25:17,156 | Oh, yeah, well, yes, I'm afraid she gave me a lift | Oh, yeah, well, yes, I'm afraid she gave me a lift |
354 | 00:25:17,238 | 00:25:19,706 | and the van was towed away so I missed the train, | and the van was towed away so I missed the train, |
355 | 00:25:19,798 | 00:25:22,710 | so I ended up watching the match in her house on Sky | so I ended up watching the match in her house on Sky |
356 | 00:25:22,798 | 00:25:26,108 | Well What's she been saying to you? | Well What's she been saying to you? |
357 | 00:25:27,678 | 00:25:32,229 | Victor, look me in the eyes and tell me | Victor, look me in the eyes and tell me |
358 | 00:25:32,318 | 00:25:36,869 | nothing happened between you and Millicent tonight | nothing happened between you and Millicent tonight |
359 | 00:25:42,518 | 00:25:45,112 | Nothing happened between us | Nothing happened between us |
360 | 00:25:45,838 | 00:25:47,954 | Absolutely nothing | Absolutely nothing |
361 | 00:25:54,398 | 00:25:55,672 | Margaret? | Margaret? |
362 | 00:26:00,438 | 00:26:01,837 | (DOOR SLAMS) | (DOOR SLAMS) |
363 | 00:26:02,398 | 00:26:03,990 | (DOORBELL RINGING) | (DOORBELL RINGING) |
364 | 00:26:10,358 | 00:26:13,714 | -Hello, Millicent -Oh! So, what have you come to tell me? | -Hello, Millicent -Oh! So, what have you come to tell me? |
365 | 00:26:13,798 | 00:26:16,710 | -I suppose he's denied the whole thing -Well, of course | -I suppose he's denied the whole thing -Well, of course |
366 | 00:26:16,798 | 00:26:19,437 | -I mean, naturally, he's going to deny it -Naturally | -I mean, naturally, he's going to deny it -Naturally |
367 | 00:26:19,518 | 00:26:22,078 | -Because it never happened -Never | -Because it never happened -Never |
368 | 00:26:22,158 | 00:26:25,309 | -You're not telling me you believe him? -That's right, Millicent | -You're not telling me you believe him? -That's right, Millicent |
369 | 00:26:25,398 | 00:26:28,151 | My God! He's got you well-trained | My God! He's got you well-trained |
370 | 00:26:28,318 | 00:26:32,072 | No It's called trust, Millicent | No It's called trust, Millicent |
371 | 00:26:32,678 | 00:26:36,512 | You should try looking it up in the dictionary sometime It's next to ''trollop'' | You should try looking it up in the dictionary sometime It's next to ''trollop'' |
372 | 00:26:37,238 | 00:26:40,071 | Oh, so I imagined the whole thing, did I? | Oh, so I imagined the whole thing, did I? |
373 | 00:26:40,158 | 00:26:43,468 | That your husband came upstairs and got into bed with me tonight? | That your husband came upstairs and got into bed with me tonight? |
374 | 00:26:43,558 | 00:26:46,789 | Imagined? No Invented | Imagined? No Invented |
375 | 00:26:47,198 | 00:26:50,873 | Because, unfortunately, the evening didn't quite go the way you planned, did it? | Because, unfortunately, the evening didn't quite go the way you planned, did it? |
376 | 00:26:50,958 | 00:26:52,755 | The way I planned? | The way I planned? |
377 | 00:26:54,158 | 00:26:57,195 | The one thing I never took you for, Margaret, was gullible | The one thing I never took you for, Margaret, was gullible |
378 | 00:26:57,278 | 00:26:59,951 | I mean, I really thought you were stronger than that | I mean, I really thought you were stronger than that |
379 | 00:27:00,038 | 00:27:01,357 | Yes? | Yes? |
380 | 00:27:01,798 | 00:27:05,677 | Well, we'll see, won't we, just how strong I am? | Well, we'll see, won't we, just how strong I am? |
381 | 00:27:09,398 | 00:27:13,186 | And in future, we'll be getting our potatoes from Sainsbury's | And in future, we'll be getting our potatoes from Sainsbury's |
382 | 00:27:16,558 | 00:27:18,071 | (URINATING) | (URINATING) |
383 | 00:27:19,558 | 00:27:23,153 | Unbelievable the way people are sometimes | Unbelievable the way people are sometimes |
384 | 00:27:23,958 | 00:27:28,429 | I suppose I should have known I was dicing with death there from the word go | I suppose I should have known I was dicing with death there from the word go |
385 | 00:27:28,518 | 00:27:30,270 | How's your stomach? | How's your stomach? |
386 | 00:27:30,358 | 00:27:34,431 | Yes Much better than it was when I was being sick in her bathroom | Yes Much better than it was when I was being sick in her bathroom |
387 | 00:27:34,518 | 00:27:38,477 | An hour and a half in the back of that van with all those rotting onions | An hour and a half in the back of that van with all those rotting onions |
388 | 00:27:38,558 | 00:27:40,867 | and then all those brandies | and then all those brandies |
389 | 00:27:40,958 | 00:27:43,233 | It's a wonder I've got any stomach left | It's a wonder I've got any stomach left |
390 | 00:27:47,278 | 00:27:51,908 | Still, I suppose it all says quite a lot about us when you think about it | Still, I suppose it all says quite a lot about us when you think about it |
391 | 00:27:52,238 | 00:27:56,390 | I mean, there aren't many wives who'd forgive me for going round to her house in the first place, | I mean, there aren't many wives who'd forgive me for going round to her house in the first place, |
392 | 00:27:56,478 | 00:27:58,469 | even just to watch football | even just to watch football |
393 | 00:27:58,558 | 00:28:00,037 | Wouldn't they? | Wouldn't they? |
394 | 00:28:00,118 | 00:28:03,349 | I mean, at least we're a bit more mature than that | I mean, at least we're a bit more mature than that |
395 | 00:28:04,518 | 00:28:05,507 | Yes | Yes |
396 | 00:28:09,678 | 00:28:11,350 | (VICTOR SCREAMING) | (VICTOR SCREAMING) |
397 | 00:28:17,078 | 00:28:20,388 | # They say I might as well face the truth | # They say I might as well face the truth |
398 | 00:28:20,478 | 00:28:23,788 | # That I am just too long in the tooth | # That I am just too long in the tooth |
399 | 00:28:23,878 | 00:28:27,109 | # I've started to deteriorate | # I've started to deteriorate |
400 | 00:28:27,198 | 00:28:30,713 | #And now I've passed my own sell-by date | #And now I've passed my own sell-by date |
401 | 00:28:30,798 | 00:28:34,268 | # Oh, I am no spring chicken, it's true | # Oh, I am no spring chicken, it's true |
402 | 00:28:34,358 | 00:28:37,668 | # I have to pop my teeth in to chew | # I have to pop my teeth in to chew |
403 | 00:28:37,758 | 00:28:41,148 | #And my old knees have started to knock | #And my old knees have started to knock |
404 | 00:28:41,238 | 00:28:44,355 | # I've just got too many miles on the clock | # I've just got too many miles on the clock |
405 | 00:28:44,518 | 00:28:48,557 | # So I'm a wrinkly, crinkly, set in my ways | # So I'm a wrinkly, crinkly, set in my ways |
406 | 00:28:48,638 | 00:28:52,074 | # It's true that my body has seen better days | # It's true that my body has seen better days |
407 | 00:28:52,158 | 00:28:55,867 | # But give me half a chance and I can still misbehave | # But give me half a chance and I can still misbehave |
408 | 00:28:56,358 | 00:28:58,918 | # One foot in the grave | # One foot in the grave |
409 | 00:28:59,678 | 00:29:02,397 | # One foot in the grave # | # One foot in the grave # |
409 | 00:28:59,678 | 00:29:02,397 | # One foot in the grave # | # One foot in the grave # |