This tool is beta test, If You got some problem please contact us
# | Start | End | Original | Translated |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | 00:00:02,367 | 00:00:05,518 | # They say I might as well face the truth | # They say I might as well face the truth |
2 | 00:00:05,727 | 00:00:08,878 | # That I am just too long in the tooth | # That I am just too long in the tooth |
3 | 00:00:09,287 | 00:00:12,484 | # So I'm an OAP and weak-kneed | # So I'm an OAP and weak-kneed |
4 | 00:00:12,767 | 00:00:15,839 | # But I have not yet quite gone to seed | # But I have not yet quite gone to seed |
5 | 00:00:16,167 | 00:00:20,365 | # I may be over the hill now that I have retired | # I may be over the hill now that I have retired |
6 | 00:00:20,447 | 00:00:23,803 | # Fading away but I've not yet expired | # Fading away but I've not yet expired |
7 | 00:00:23,887 | 00:00:27,357 | # Clapped out, run down, too old to save | # Clapped out, run down, too old to save |
8 | 00:00:27,527 | 00:00:31,361 | # One foot in the grave # | # One foot in the grave # |
9 | 00:00:33,087 | 00:00:35,317 | (RAIN PATTERING) | (RAIN PATTERING) |
10 | 00:00:43,127 | 00:00:46,483 | Well, that's that over for another year | Well, that's that over for another year |
11 | 00:00:47,287 | 00:00:51,724 | The joyous ritual of our annual pilgrimage to see Great-Aunt Joyce | The joyous ritual of our annual pilgrimage to see Great-Aunt Joyce |
12 | 00:00:52,607 | 00:00:56,156 | It gets more like entering a mummy's tomb every time we go there | It gets more like entering a mummy's tomb every time we go there |
13 | 00:00:56,247 | 00:00:59,717 | Is it my imagination or has it got cold in here? | Is it my imagination or has it got cold in here? |
14 | 00:01:00,327 | 00:01:03,478 | Still, these will be a real godsend, won't they? | Still, these will be a real godsend, won't they? |
15 | 00:01:04,127 | 00:01:06,925 | A pair of gloves with six fingers in each hand | A pair of gloves with six fingers in each hand |
16 | 00:01:09,487 | 00:01:11,717 | Trying to tell me I'd grow into them | Trying to tell me I'd grow into them |
17 | 00:01:13,647 | 00:01:17,526 | What's she gonna knit for me next time? A balaclava with two heads? | What's she gonna knit for me next time? A balaclava with two heads? |
18 | 00:01:18,327 | 00:01:21,125 | Yes Well, if you ever get to that age | Yes Well, if you ever get to that age |
19 | 00:01:22,247 | 00:01:25,364 | Oh! For the love of my | Oh! For the love of my |
20 | 00:01:25,447 | 00:01:26,562 | What is it? What's | What is it? What's |
21 | 00:01:26,647 | 00:01:29,844 | Why did I open my bloody mouth! | Why did I open my bloody mouth! |
22 | 00:01:30,847 | 00:01:35,637 | Why did I even think it would be a good idea to say it needed repapering! | Why did I even think it would be a good idea to say it needed repapering! |
23 | 00:01:35,767 | 00:01:37,917 | I must want my head testing | I must want my head testing |
24 | 00:01:38,327 | 00:01:40,079 | Can't understand it | Can't understand it |
25 | 00:01:40,287 | 00:01:43,165 | Put enough paste on this to sink a battleship | Put enough paste on this to sink a battleship |
26 | 00:01:44,087 | 00:01:48,046 | Slapping it here, there and everywhere, like Charlie Drake in the Sistine Chapel | Slapping it here, there and everywhere, like Charlie Drake in the Sistine Chapel |
27 | 00:01:49,447 | 00:01:51,119 | What are we gonna do with this? | What are we gonna do with this? |
28 | 00:01:51,247 | 00:01:53,966 | Save it till we need a giant Elastoplast? | Save it till we need a giant Elastoplast? |
29 | 00:01:55,407 | 00:01:59,400 | There are some of those refuse bags in the shed You'd better bring half a dozen | There are some of those refuse bags in the shed You'd better bring half a dozen |
30 | 00:01:59,647 | 00:02:01,080 | (LIGHT SNORING) | (LIGHT SNORING) |
31 | 00:02:03,000 | 00:02:09,074 | Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today | Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today |
32 | 00:02:11,327 | 00:02:12,476 | Look at that | Look at that |
33 | 00:02:12,567 | 00:02:14,444 | Just slept right through it | Just slept right through it |
34 | 00:02:15,847 | 00:02:19,840 | I'm telling you, if she has to spend another night here, I may have to kill her | I'm telling you, if she has to spend another night here, I may have to kill her |
35 | 00:02:19,927 | 00:02:21,246 | I mean it | I mean it |
36 | 00:02:21,327 | 00:02:24,444 | Yes Well, she's had a lot of upset this last week | Yes Well, she's had a lot of upset this last week |
37 | 00:02:24,527 | 00:02:26,677 | I mean, you wouldn't like it if your flat was flooded | I mean, you wouldn't like it if your flat was flooded |
38 | 00:02:26,767 | 00:02:29,201 | and you had nowhere else to stay | and you had nowhere else to stay |
39 | 00:02:31,807 | 00:02:33,035 | Jean | Jean |
40 | 00:02:34,087 | 00:02:35,076 | Jean! | Jean! |
41 | 00:02:35,607 | 00:02:37,996 | Oh, for a stick of dynamite | Oh, for a stick of dynamite |
42 | 00:02:38,207 | 00:02:39,526 | Jean! | Jean! |
43 | 00:02:40,527 | 00:02:42,245 | What's happened? | What's happened? |
44 | 00:02:42,607 | 00:02:44,359 | Has there been an earthquake? | Has there been an earthquake? |
45 | 00:02:44,447 | 00:02:47,405 | No It's just Victor's paper's come down | No It's just Victor's paper's come down |
46 | 00:02:47,567 | 00:02:49,285 | Here, hang on a second | Here, hang on a second |
47 | 00:02:49,447 | 00:02:54,805 | Oh Oh, what a shame, after all the work he put into it this morning | Oh Oh, what a shame, after all the work he put into it this morning |
48 | 00:02:55,567 | 00:02:57,239 | Oh, is it so late already? | Oh, is it so late already? |
49 | 00:02:58,647 | 00:03:02,162 | Those antihistamines are making me a bit dopey I think | Those antihistamines are making me a bit dopey I think |
50 | 00:03:02,807 | 00:03:04,081 | Yes | Yes |
51 | 00:03:05,407 | 00:03:08,763 | Anyway, you have a nice time over there? | Anyway, you have a nice time over there? |
52 | 00:03:08,927 | 00:03:12,397 | -How was she? -Yeah Well, same as usual | -How was she? -Yeah Well, same as usual |
53 | 00:03:13,207 | 00:03:15,198 | Where have the curtains gone? | Where have the curtains gone? |
54 | 00:03:15,287 | 00:03:17,960 | Oh, yes I took them down to the dry cleaners for you | Oh, yes I took them down to the dry cleaners for you |
55 | 00:03:18,047 | 00:03:20,436 | And the ones in the front bedroom | And the ones in the front bedroom |
56 | 00:03:20,607 | 00:03:22,882 | Talk about long overdue for a wash | Talk about long overdue for a wash |
57 | 00:03:25,767 | 00:03:28,156 | Did they come to take that picture back? | Did they come to take that picture back? |
58 | 00:03:28,967 | 00:03:30,036 | Picture? | Picture? |
59 | 00:03:31,007 | 00:03:35,239 | The enlargement we had done at the photo shop that went horribly wrong | The enlargement we had done at the photo shop that went horribly wrong |
60 | 00:03:35,327 | 00:03:39,798 | -They said they'd pick it up about 4:00 -Oh, yes, yes I remember now, yes | -They said they'd pick it up about 4:00 -Oh, yes, yes I remember now, yes |
61 | 00:03:40,887 | 00:03:42,206 | No, they didn't | No, they didn't |
62 | 00:03:44,247 | 00:03:47,796 | Unless it was them at the front door when I was in the bath | Unless it was them at the front door when I was in the bath |
63 | 00:03:48,207 | 00:03:49,925 | About 4:00 time | About 4:00 time |
64 | 00:03:51,207 | 00:03:53,801 | Oh, and I turned off the central heating | Oh, and I turned off the central heating |
65 | 00:03:54,007 | 00:03:57,602 | I didn't think it was helping Nicky's tummy bug | I didn't think it was helping Nicky's tummy bug |
66 | 00:03:59,047 | 00:04:00,036 | Wasn't it? | Wasn't it? |
67 | 00:04:00,167 | 00:04:03,921 | No, according to my book, it's not very good for cockatiels | No, according to my book, it's not very good for cockatiels |
68 | 00:04:04,007 | 00:04:06,475 | Too much hot air with no moisture | Too much hot air with no moisture |
69 | 00:04:06,567 | 00:04:12,119 | No, quite good for drying out wallpaper possibly, but not for his little tummy | No, quite good for drying out wallpaper possibly, but not for his little tummy |
70 | 00:04:14,207 | 00:04:17,677 | Anyway, I better be getting on up now, then | Anyway, I better be getting on up now, then |
71 | 00:04:17,767 | 00:04:19,598 | Take my face off | Take my face off |
72 | 00:04:19,687 | 00:04:21,643 | See you in the morning, Margaret | See you in the morning, Margaret |
73 | 00:04:21,807 | 00:04:23,081 | Night, Jean! | Night, Jean! |
74 | 00:04:35,927 | 00:04:40,523 | Now she'll be in that bloody bathroom for an hour and a half taking her face off | Now she'll be in that bloody bathroom for an hour and a half taking her face off |
75 | 00:04:41,647 | 00:04:45,322 | With a bottle of hydrochloric acid, we could do it in 1 0 seconds | With a bottle of hydrochloric acid, we could do it in 1 0 seconds |
76 | 00:04:47,007 | 00:04:50,716 | There's a lot worse than her You've just got to have a bit of patience | There's a lot worse than her You've just got to have a bit of patience |
77 | 00:04:53,127 | 00:04:56,961 | So, it seems to be doing the trick then, does it? | So, it seems to be doing the trick then, does it? |
78 | 00:04:57,047 | 00:04:58,196 | What's that? | What's that? |
79 | 00:04:58,287 | 00:05:01,484 | This, whatever it is that person does to your feet, | This, whatever it is that person does to your feet, |
80 | 00:05:01,567 | 00:05:04,161 | that quack you've started going to in Banbury Crescent | that quack you've started going to in Banbury Crescent |
81 | 00:05:04,247 | 00:05:08,798 | She's not a quack It's called reflexology It's a recognised science | She's not a quack It's called reflexology It's a recognised science |
82 | 00:05:09,047 | 00:05:14,246 | She just stimulates different parts of your foot and it reduces all your anxiety and stress | She just stimulates different parts of your foot and it reduces all your anxiety and stress |
83 | 00:05:14,687 | 00:05:16,245 | You come away | You come away |
84 | 00:05:16,327 | 00:05:19,205 | ready to cope with life's little problems | ready to cope with life's little problems |
85 | 00:05:26,567 | 00:05:28,239 | It'll never last | It'll never last |
86 | 00:05:30,047 | 00:05:32,402 | VICTOR: You cocky little bastard! | VICTOR: You cocky little bastard! |
87 | 00:05:33,327 | 00:05:35,045 | (VICTOR YELLING) | (VICTOR YELLING) |
88 | 00:05:35,127 | 00:05:37,641 | You know what you can do with it as well, don't you? | You know what you can do with it as well, don't you? |
89 | 00:05:37,767 | 00:05:41,123 | I don't care! What about my bloody marigolds? | I don't care! What about my bloody marigolds? |
90 | 00:06:01,167 | 00:06:02,395 | Morning | Morning |
91 | 00:06:02,487 | 00:06:05,957 | Just thought I'd get some of the filth out of these cupboards for you | Just thought I'd get some of the filth out of these cupboards for you |
92 | 00:06:07,007 | 00:06:09,601 | Well, I don't suppose you get the time, do you? | Well, I don't suppose you get the time, do you? |
93 | 00:06:09,767 | 00:06:12,520 | I mean, you couldn't hope to keep this place spotless | I mean, you couldn't hope to keep this place spotless |
94 | 00:06:12,607 | 00:06:14,837 | and I wouldn't expect it of you | and I wouldn't expect it of you |
95 | 00:06:14,927 | 00:06:19,557 | I take it there's still no news, then, of when you could move back into your flat? | I take it there's still no news, then, of when you could move back into your flat? |
96 | 00:06:19,647 | 00:06:20,716 | Oh, no | Oh, no |
97 | 00:06:20,807 | 00:06:25,835 | Well, obviously they can't start pumping it out until the rains have let out | Well, obviously they can't start pumping it out until the rains have let out |
98 | 00:06:26,887 | 00:06:27,876 | No | No |
99 | 00:06:30,087 | 00:06:33,682 | Oh, yes! Any time you like, matey! | Oh, yes! Any time you like, matey! |
100 | 00:06:33,847 | 00:06:35,724 | Whenever you like! | Whenever you like! |
101 | 00:06:39,127 | 00:06:40,401 | Unbelievable | Unbelievable |
102 | 00:06:40,967 | 00:06:43,117 | -Did you see what he'd done? -Who? | -Did you see what he'd done? -Who? |
103 | 00:06:43,207 | 00:06:46,005 | That chimney sweep working number 1 2 across the road | That chimney sweep working number 1 2 across the road |
104 | 00:06:46,087 | 00:06:48,840 | He'd only stuck his van in our bloody front lawn | He'd only stuck his van in our bloody front lawn |
105 | 00:06:49,847 | 00:06:52,407 | I'll give him ''nowhere else to park'' | I'll give him ''nowhere else to park'' |
106 | 00:06:52,487 | 00:06:53,966 | Cocky bastard | Cocky bastard |
107 | 00:06:55,127 | 00:06:59,040 | He wasn't going to move it either if I hadn't threatened to let his tyres down | He wasn't going to move it either if I hadn't threatened to let his tyres down |
108 | 00:06:59,687 | 00:07:03,077 | Sweep his chimney for him next time he tries that lark | Sweep his chimney for him next time he tries that lark |
109 | 00:07:03,407 | 00:07:06,683 | Oh, is that this morning's local? | Oh, is that this morning's local? |
110 | 00:07:07,407 | 00:07:11,685 | ''Exclusive Pics from MP's gay love nest'' | ''Exclusive Pics from MP's gay love nest'' |
111 | 00:07:12,127 | 00:07:13,924 | More rubbish they've dug up | More rubbish they've dug up |
112 | 00:07:14,767 | 00:07:18,157 | Now then, now then, where are we | Now then, now then, where are we |
113 | 00:07:18,287 | 00:07:21,324 | I don't suppose for one second that they printed | I don't suppose for one second that they printed |
114 | 00:07:21,967 | 00:07:24,640 | Oh, success | Oh, success |
115 | 00:07:25,367 | 00:07:28,643 | -What? Is your letter in there, then? -Yes | -What? Is your letter in there, then? -Yes |
116 | 00:07:29,567 | 00:07:35,039 | Oh, can you believe this? Listen to this | Oh, can you believe this? Listen to this |
117 | 00:07:36,087 | 00:07:38,203 | ''On Monday night, I wrote to your paper | ''On Monday night, I wrote to your paper |
118 | 00:07:38,287 | 00:07:41,438 | ''complaining about supermarket trolleys in public lavatories | ''complaining about supermarket trolleys in public lavatories |
119 | 00:07:41,527 | 00:07:44,519 | ''I was somewhat alarmed to find my letter signed | ''I was somewhat alarmed to find my letter signed |
120 | 00:07:44,727 | 00:07:48,606 | ''Polly the Penguin of the Oswestry Park Bird Sanctuary | ''Polly the Penguin of the Oswestry Park Bird Sanctuary |
121 | 00:07:49,567 | 00:07:53,037 | ''While elsewhere on the page was a report incorrectly stating | ''While elsewhere on the page was a report incorrectly stating |
122 | 00:07:53,127 | 00:07:56,722 | ''that I'd just laid a five-pound egg for the first time in captivity | ''that I'd just laid a five-pound egg for the first time in captivity |
123 | 00:07:57,967 | 00:08:02,438 | ''Greater accuracy by your proofreaders in future will be much appreciated'' | ''Greater accuracy by your proofreaders in future will be much appreciated'' |
124 | 00:08:02,767 | 00:08:04,200 | Well, that's what you wrote, wasn't it? | Well, that's what you wrote, wasn't it? |
125 | 00:08:04,287 | 00:08:07,199 | Yes, that's what I wrote, but look what's underneath | Yes, that's what I wrote, but look what's underneath |
126 | 00:08:07,287 | 00:08:13,362 | ''Yours sincerely, Mildred Herring, 1 3 Bolsover House, Hemlock Street'' | ''Yours sincerely, Mildred Herring, 1 3 Bolsover House, Hemlock Street'' |
127 | 00:08:16,207 | 00:08:19,677 | I mean, I don't believe How do they make these mistakes? | I mean, I don't believe How do they make these mistakes? |
128 | 00:08:19,967 | 00:08:22,037 | Who the hell's Mildred Herring? | Who the hell's Mildred Herring? |
129 | 00:08:23,967 | 00:08:26,083 | I think she's the editor, isn't she? | I think she's the editor, isn't she? |
130 | 00:08:26,487 | 00:08:28,443 | Yes, look Up here | Yes, look Up here |
131 | 00:08:29,167 | 00:08:33,683 | ''If you have any views about local matters please send them to the editor, | ''If you have any views about local matters please send them to the editor, |
132 | 00:08:33,767 | 00:08:36,759 | ''Victor Meldrew, 1 9 River Bank'' | ''Victor Meldrew, 1 9 River Bank'' |
133 | 00:08:37,647 | 00:08:40,161 | They've done it again Exactly the same thing | They've done it again Exactly the same thing |
134 | 00:08:40,247 | 00:08:41,680 | Bloody paper | Bloody paper |
135 | 00:08:41,767 | 00:08:46,124 | I mean, how do they make these mistakes? I don't know why I bother | I mean, how do they make these mistakes? I don't know why I bother |
136 | 00:08:46,287 | 00:08:49,882 | Oh! Oh! What in the name of bloody hell! | Oh! Oh! What in the name of bloody hell! |
137 | 00:08:54,447 | 00:08:57,996 | -Leave it, Jean Don't touch it I'll do it -Oh, oh, oh! | -Leave it, Jean Don't touch it I'll do it -Oh, oh, oh! |
138 | 00:09:03,247 | 00:09:06,717 | I didn't know I still had this ruddy thing | I didn't know I still had this ruddy thing |
139 | 00:09:07,007 | 00:09:09,396 | And the points are all rusty as | And the points are all rusty as |
140 | 00:09:09,887 | 00:09:11,605 | When did you last have a tetanus? | When did you last have a tetanus? |
141 | 00:09:12,887 | 00:09:14,559 | -Let me see -Oh | -Let me see -Oh |
142 | 00:09:15,047 | 00:09:16,685 | (VICTOR GROANING) | (VICTOR GROANING) |
143 | 00:09:20,007 | 00:09:25,320 | Just stand there and don't panic I think we've got some lint upstairs | Just stand there and don't panic I think we've got some lint upstairs |
144 | 00:09:27,167 | 00:09:28,759 | Don't panic | Don't panic |
145 | 00:09:30,767 | 00:09:33,679 | Just when I was beginning to relax a bit as well | Just when I was beginning to relax a bit as well |
146 | 00:09:33,767 | 00:09:36,440 | VICTOR: Oh, if it's not one thing, it's another | VICTOR: Oh, if it's not one thing, it's another |
147 | 00:09:37,207 | 00:09:40,438 | So it's up to that bloody hospital now, I suppose | So it's up to that bloody hospital now, I suppose |
148 | 00:09:40,527 | 00:09:42,757 | Hang around there for three hours | Hang around there for three hours |
149 | 00:09:48,007 | 00:09:52,205 | I mean, if you can't come down to breakfast without getting a spike up your | I mean, if you can't come down to breakfast without getting a spike up your |
150 | 00:09:53,207 | 00:09:54,959 | What in the name of God | What in the name of God |
151 | 00:09:55,047 | 00:10:00,121 | Oh, yes, how extremely side-splittingly funny That's just about the level of your kind | Oh, yes, how extremely side-splittingly funny That's just about the level of your kind |
152 | 00:10:17,647 | 00:10:20,957 | Morning, Mr Meldrew You need a map? | Morning, Mr Meldrew You need a map? |
153 | 00:10:21,567 | 00:10:22,556 | Oh | Oh |
154 | 00:10:23,927 | 00:10:25,155 | No | No |
155 | 00:10:25,927 | 00:10:28,282 | Bit of a maze at the moment, isn't it? | Bit of a maze at the moment, isn't it? |
156 | 00:10:28,887 | 00:10:31,447 | Just up here getting a tetanus booster | Just up here getting a tetanus booster |
157 | 00:10:32,527 | 00:10:34,597 | So, what about | So, what about |
158 | 00:10:35,447 | 00:10:39,838 | Oh, yes, fine thank you Yes, I'm only in for an overnight, not before time | Oh, yes, fine thank you Yes, I'm only in for an overnight, not before time |
159 | 00:10:40,007 | 00:10:43,124 | My foreskin's been on the waiting list nearly three years now | My foreskin's been on the waiting list nearly three years now |
160 | 00:10:44,727 | 00:10:47,002 | Has it? Yes, oh | Has it? Yes, oh |
161 | 00:10:47,087 | 00:10:49,476 | Terrible when you get stuck in a bottleneck like that | Terrible when you get stuck in a bottleneck like that |
162 | 00:10:51,567 | 00:10:52,841 | I beg your pardon? | I beg your pardon? |
163 | 00:10:52,927 | 00:10:55,361 | I wasn't sorry to see the back of it, I don't mind saying | I wasn't sorry to see the back of it, I don't mind saying |
164 | 00:10:55,447 | 00:10:57,722 | Actually, I'm glad I bumped into you, | Actually, I'm glad I bumped into you, |
165 | 00:10:57,807 | 00:11:00,799 | only we've got a bit of a do on at home tomorrow night | only we've got a bit of a do on at home tomorrow night |
166 | 00:11:00,887 | 00:11:04,243 | It's the annual knees-up of the Dixon of Dock Green Appreciation Society | It's the annual knees-up of the Dixon of Dock Green Appreciation Society |
167 | 00:11:04,327 | 00:11:08,445 | and things can sometimes get a bit merry round about 9:30 | and things can sometimes get a bit merry round about 9:30 |
168 | 00:11:08,527 | 00:11:13,999 | So, do feel free to bang on the wall, won't you? I'd hate to think we were causing a nuisance | So, do feel free to bang on the wall, won't you? I'd hate to think we were causing a nuisance |
169 | 00:11:14,087 | 00:11:17,159 | Ah, yes Well, I'm sure we shouldn't do that | Ah, yes Well, I'm sure we shouldn't do that |
170 | 00:11:17,247 | 00:11:21,445 | Anyway, better see if I can find my way out now, I suppose | Anyway, better see if I can find my way out now, I suppose |
171 | 00:11:21,527 | 00:11:24,280 | And good luck with the other | And good luck with the other |
172 | 00:11:24,367 | 00:11:25,959 | Oh, thank you very much | Oh, thank you very much |
173 | 00:11:26,047 | 00:11:29,278 | Can you see down the end where they've taken all the plaster off? | Can you see down the end where they've taken all the plaster off? |
174 | 00:11:30,247 | 00:11:31,475 | Hmm? | Hmm? |
175 | 00:11:31,807 | 00:11:34,480 | Turn right there and you'll be out in the car park | Turn right there and you'll be out in the car park |
176 | 00:11:37,727 | 00:11:39,604 | Oh, yes | Oh, yes |
177 | 00:11:40,127 | 00:11:42,357 | All right, thanks | All right, thanks |
178 | 00:11:45,327 | 00:11:47,363 | (MUSIC PLAYING ON TV) | (MUSIC PLAYING ON TV) |
179 | 00:11:51,687 | 00:11:54,997 | Well, that was as clear as mud | Well, that was as clear as mud |
180 | 00:11:55,967 | 00:11:59,721 | Two and a half hours and I still haven't the faintest idea what it was all about | Two and a half hours and I still haven't the faintest idea what it was all about |
181 | 00:12:00,727 | 00:12:02,797 | You can't beat a good mystery | You can't beat a good mystery |
182 | 00:12:05,767 | 00:12:09,442 | Yes, but, I mean, who did it then, in the end? | Yes, but, I mean, who did it then, in the end? |
183 | 00:12:14,007 | 00:12:17,079 | The short fat one with the ginger moustache | The short fat one with the ginger moustache |
184 | 00:12:17,207 | 00:12:18,879 | How could it have been her? | How could it have been her? |
185 | 00:12:21,207 | 00:12:25,359 | She fell out of a helicopter halfway through going over Cheddar Gorge | She fell out of a helicopter halfway through going over Cheddar Gorge |
186 | 00:12:25,647 | 00:12:29,162 | Ah, but you never saw her hit the ground, did you? | Ah, but you never saw her hit the ground, did you? |
187 | 00:12:29,247 | 00:12:30,885 | That's where they were clever | That's where they were clever |
188 | 00:12:34,527 | 00:12:38,122 | VICTOR: Half the time you couldn't even work out who they were meant to be | VICTOR: Half the time you couldn't even work out who they were meant to be |
189 | 00:12:40,047 | 00:12:43,198 | And another thing, if that man who looked like David Dimbleby | And another thing, if that man who looked like David Dimbleby |
190 | 00:12:43,287 | 00:12:45,243 | was supposed to know who the killer was, | was supposed to know who the killer was, |
191 | 00:12:45,327 | 00:12:49,115 | why did he arrange to meet him under a bridge at 3:30 in the morning? | why did he arrange to meet him under a bridge at 3:30 in the morning? |
192 | 00:12:49,727 | 00:12:52,844 | And who was that dwarf in the bowler hat | And who was that dwarf in the bowler hat |
193 | 00:12:52,927 | 00:12:55,999 | that came running through the woods in slow motion? | that came running through the woods in slow motion? |
194 | 00:12:56,087 | 00:12:58,647 | Never did find out what that was all about | Never did find out what that was all about |
195 | 00:12:59,607 | 00:13:02,121 | Ah, it's only a story | Ah, it's only a story |
196 | 00:13:03,047 | 00:13:07,723 | Oh, are you going for another session with your reflexologist tomorrow? | Oh, are you going for another session with your reflexologist tomorrow? |
197 | 00:13:08,087 | 00:13:09,486 | In Banbury Crescent? | In Banbury Crescent? |
198 | 00:13:09,567 | 00:13:11,603 | Hmm, I was planning to, yes | Hmm, I was planning to, yes |
199 | 00:13:11,687 | 00:13:15,726 | Only, I wondered if you'd just pop by the flat for me | Only, I wondered if you'd just pop by the flat for me |
200 | 00:13:15,807 | 00:13:18,275 | and pick up a few clothes | and pick up a few clothes |
201 | 00:13:18,607 | 00:13:20,916 | I've written a list out here | I've written a list out here |
202 | 00:13:23,327 | 00:13:25,477 | -There we are -Yes, I expect so | -There we are -Yes, I expect so |
203 | 00:13:26,367 | 00:13:30,042 | How exactly does it work again, this treatment? | How exactly does it work again, this treatment? |
204 | 00:13:30,407 | 00:13:33,797 | I was wondering if I ought to book myself a few sessions | I was wondering if I ought to book myself a few sessions |
205 | 00:13:33,887 | 00:13:36,003 | Well, there's nothing much to it really | Well, there's nothing much to it really |
206 | 00:13:36,087 | 00:13:41,115 | Just lie back and close your eyes and you go off into a kind of trance | Just lie back and close your eyes and you go off into a kind of trance |
207 | 00:13:41,607 | 00:13:47,045 | Then she just manipulates different bits of your feet with her little finger, | Then she just manipulates different bits of your feet with her little finger, |
208 | 00:13:47,127 | 00:13:50,802 | and then 20 minutes later, you come away and it's wonderful | and then 20 minutes later, you come away and it's wonderful |
209 | 00:13:51,127 | 00:13:53,800 | Feeling all relaxed and tickety | Feeling all relaxed and tickety |
210 | 00:14:00,047 | 00:14:04,279 | Why did those detectives ask David Dimbleby for his sperm? | Why did those detectives ask David Dimbleby for his sperm? |
211 | 00:14:06,847 | 00:14:09,486 | To eliminate him from their inquiries | To eliminate him from their inquiries |
212 | 00:14:11,527 | 00:14:12,642 | Oh, I see | Oh, I see |
213 | 00:14:13,247 | 00:14:16,876 | The police can use sperm now as a way of fingerprinting people | The police can use sperm now as a way of fingerprinting people |
214 | 00:14:21,367 | 00:14:24,518 | I don't see what was wrong with the old ink pads | I don't see what was wrong with the old ink pads |
215 | 00:14:26,567 | 00:14:28,762 | They used to serve the purpose | They used to serve the purpose |
216 | 00:14:31,927 | 00:14:34,964 | How is Nicky's tummy today? Did you take him up to the bird hospital? | How is Nicky's tummy today? Did you take him up to the bird hospital? |
217 | 00:14:35,047 | 00:14:38,562 | Yes They put him on to some antibiotic millet, | Yes They put him on to some antibiotic millet, |
218 | 00:14:38,647 | 00:14:40,956 | which is supposed to be very good | which is supposed to be very good |
219 | 00:14:44,447 | 00:14:46,119 | This is nice | This is nice |
220 | 00:14:46,207 | 00:14:49,324 | Not that I can taste it with my allergy of course | Not that I can taste it with my allergy of course |
221 | 00:14:50,127 | 00:14:51,924 | Might be absolutely horrible | Might be absolutely horrible |
222 | 00:14:54,607 | 00:14:57,075 | But I'm sure it's really delicious | But I'm sure it's really delicious |
223 | 00:15:00,607 | 00:15:03,963 | So, whose head was that in the fridge? | So, whose head was that in the fridge? |
224 | 00:15:04,167 | 00:15:07,796 | That never fitted into the plot, either, as far as I could see | That never fitted into the plot, either, as far as I could see |
225 | 00:15:07,887 | 00:15:10,526 | That was her boyfriend, wasn't it? | That was her boyfriend, wasn't it? |
226 | 00:15:10,607 | 00:15:12,518 | So who killed him, then? | So who killed him, then? |
227 | 00:15:12,607 | 00:15:13,722 | Nobody | Nobody |
228 | 00:15:13,807 | 00:15:16,321 | I thought he was supposed to have committed suicide | I thought he was supposed to have committed suicide |
229 | 00:15:18,127 | 00:15:20,766 | What, and then stuck his own head in the fridge? | What, and then stuck his own head in the fridge? |
230 | 00:15:22,887 | 00:15:25,526 | How on earth are you meant to fathom these things out? | How on earth are you meant to fathom these things out? |
231 | 00:15:25,607 | 00:15:29,566 | I mean, you say it's just a story but there's got to be some point to it all | I mean, you say it's just a story but there's got to be some point to it all |
232 | 00:15:29,647 | 00:15:33,162 | I mean, you can't just have a lot of weird things all happening for no reason | I mean, you can't just have a lot of weird things all happening for no reason |
233 | 00:15:33,247 | 00:15:34,600 | Why not? | Why not? |
234 | 00:15:36,807 | 00:15:41,927 | Well, because Otherwise nothing that happens would make any sense | Well, because Otherwise nothing that happens would make any sense |
235 | 00:15:43,407 | 00:15:44,396 | No | No |
236 | 00:17:00,607 | 00:17:01,960 | (DUCK QUACKING) | (DUCK QUACKING) |
237 | 00:17:21,367 | 00:17:22,766 | ''Dear editor, | ''Dear editor, |
238 | 00:17:22,847 | 00:17:26,920 | ''I wonder if through your columns I might express | ''I wonder if through your columns I might express |
239 | 00:17:27,007 | 00:17:30,158 | ''my concern about several loose paving slabs | ''my concern about several loose paving slabs |
240 | 00:17:30,247 | 00:17:33,762 | ''outside the off-licence in Gosport Terrace'' | ''outside the off-licence in Gosport Terrace'' |
241 | 00:17:34,327 | 00:17:36,318 | Oh, yes, I agree with that one | Oh, yes, I agree with that one |
242 | 00:17:37,007 | 00:17:39,521 | I wish I was the editor of that thing | I wish I was the editor of that thing |
243 | 00:17:40,487 | 00:17:43,718 | There's a few letters I'd print in it straightaway, I'll tell you | There's a few letters I'd print in it straightaway, I'll tell you |
244 | 00:17:44,727 | 00:17:50,916 | ''Dear Mr Meldrew, I was utterly appalled by your front page article this week | ''Dear Mr Meldrew, I was utterly appalled by your front page article this week |
245 | 00:17:52,167 | 00:17:56,683 | ''featuring photos of our local MP and his partner | ''featuring photos of our local MP and his partner |
246 | 00:17:56,847 | 00:17:59,236 | ''taken through a bedroom window | ''taken through a bedroom window |
247 | 00:17:59,327 | 00:18:02,922 | ''There is no justification for this blatant invasion of privacy'' | ''There is no justification for this blatant invasion of privacy'' |
248 | 00:18:03,407 | 00:18:06,240 | Oh, yes, a lot of letters about that one | Oh, yes, a lot of letters about that one |
249 | 00:18:07,047 | 00:18:10,483 | When you cleaned this cage out this morning | When you cleaned this cage out this morning |
250 | 00:18:10,567 | 00:18:11,636 | Yes? | Yes? |
251 | 00:18:11,727 | 00:18:14,560 | Are you sure you closed the door properly? | Are you sure you closed the door properly? |
252 | 00:18:14,727 | 00:18:16,524 | Why, what are you | Why, what are you |
253 | 00:18:17,687 | 00:18:18,915 | Oh, my God! | Oh, my God! |
254 | 00:18:19,007 | 00:18:20,918 | Oh, Nicky | Oh, Nicky |
255 | 00:18:21,007 | 00:18:22,156 | Nicky! | Nicky! |
256 | 00:18:22,247 | 00:18:23,726 | Where is he? | Where is he? |
257 | 00:18:24,567 | 00:18:28,401 | Oh, my God! I knew this would happen some day | Oh, my God! I knew this would happen some day |
258 | 00:18:28,487 | 00:18:30,045 | -Oh, where are you, Nicky? -No, no | -Oh, where are you, Nicky? -No, no |
259 | 00:18:30,127 | 00:18:33,119 | Now, keep calm, Mrs Warboys We don't know he fled | Now, keep calm, Mrs Warboys We don't know he fled |
260 | 00:18:33,207 | 00:18:34,606 | Mrs Warboys! | Mrs Warboys! |
261 | 00:18:35,767 | 00:18:38,201 | No, Mrs Warboys I'm sorry but no | No, Mrs Warboys I'm sorry but no |
262 | 00:18:38,367 | 00:18:40,961 | I just thought I saw something fluttering up there | I just thought I saw something fluttering up there |
263 | 00:18:41,047 | 00:18:42,639 | I'm not climbing up another bloody tree | I'm not climbing up another bloody tree |
264 | 00:18:42,727 | 00:18:45,605 | just to bring down a piece of soggy white toilet paper | just to bring down a piece of soggy white toilet paper |
265 | 00:18:45,687 | 00:18:48,281 | I mean, how did it get up there anyway? | I mean, how did it get up there anyway? |
266 | 00:18:49,687 | 00:18:51,917 | What if he's been eaten by a cat? | What if he's been eaten by a cat? |
267 | 00:18:52,007 | 00:18:54,043 | Well, at least he'll be in the dry | Well, at least he'll be in the dry |
268 | 00:18:54,127 | 00:18:58,279 | Can you just give me the keys so we can get back indoors? I feel like a drowned rat | Can you just give me the keys so we can get back indoors? I feel like a drowned rat |
269 | 00:18:58,767 | 00:19:00,359 | Key, Mr Meldrew? | Key, Mr Meldrew? |
270 | 00:19:01,567 | 00:19:05,879 | This morning, you asked if you could borrow my key for the day so you could | This morning, you asked if you could borrow my key for the day so you could |
271 | 00:19:07,367 | 00:19:10,200 | I left it on the hall table for you to | I left it on the hall table for you to |
272 | 00:19:15,447 | 00:19:16,721 | Brilliant! | Brilliant! |
273 | 00:19:18,247 | 00:19:21,557 | -Margaret will be back soon -Not for another hour, she won't | -Margaret will be back soon -Not for another hour, she won't |
274 | 00:19:22,367 | 00:19:24,676 | I'm not staying here to freeze to death | I'm not staying here to freeze to death |
275 | 00:19:35,047 | 00:19:39,199 | NICK: Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear Sounds like a right old to-do, doesn't it? | NICK: Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear Sounds like a right old to-do, doesn't it? |
276 | 00:19:39,287 | 00:19:43,644 | Anyway, now you're inside, you can get dried off and come inside and join in the fun | Anyway, now you're inside, you can get dried off and come inside and join in the fun |
277 | 00:19:44,247 | 00:19:47,956 | Everybody, this is Mr Meldrew from next door | Everybody, this is Mr Meldrew from next door |
278 | 00:19:48,047 | 00:19:50,641 | and his friend Mrs Warboys | and his friend Mrs Warboys |
279 | 00:19:50,727 | 00:19:53,480 | They've been looking for their cockatiel and got locked out of the house, | They've been looking for their cockatiel and got locked out of the house, |
280 | 00:19:53,567 | 00:19:55,046 | if you can believe such a thing | if you can believe such a thing |
281 | 00:19:55,127 | 00:19:56,446 | What do we say to them? | What do we say to them? |
282 | 00:19:56,527 | 00:19:57,721 | Evening all | Evening all |
283 | 00:19:58,967 | 00:20:03,802 | Now, would either of you like a nice, strong drop of whisky to warm yourselves up? | Now, would either of you like a nice, strong drop of whisky to warm yourselves up? |
284 | 00:20:03,887 | 00:20:06,481 | Oh, yes, that wouldn't go amiss, thank you very much | Oh, yes, that wouldn't go amiss, thank you very much |
285 | 00:20:06,567 | 00:20:10,321 | No, no, no, you have to say, ''No, thank you, sir Not while I'm on duty'' | No, no, no, you have to say, ''No, thank you, sir Not while I'm on duty'' |
286 | 00:20:10,407 | 00:20:12,318 | It's all just part of the silliness | It's all just part of the silliness |
287 | 00:20:12,407 | 00:20:15,604 | Mr Christmas, would you pop through and put the kettle on again, will you? | Mr Christmas, would you pop through and put the kettle on again, will you? |
288 | 00:20:15,687 | 00:20:19,236 | And now, Mr Partridge and Mr Gallimore, if you'd both like to budge up, | And now, Mr Partridge and Mr Gallimore, if you'd both like to budge up, |
289 | 00:20:19,327 | 00:20:21,238 | so that they can sit down | so that they can sit down |
290 | 00:20:21,327 | 00:20:23,841 | There we are That's the ticket | There we are That's the ticket |
291 | 00:20:24,007 | 00:20:26,840 | Oh, now, I don't know if you're into party games at all, | Oh, now, I don't know if you're into party games at all, |
292 | 00:20:27,007 | 00:20:29,999 | but we were just in the middle of a bout of hangman, | but we were just in the middle of a bout of hangman, |
293 | 00:20:30,127 | 00:20:32,004 | so do feel free to join in | so do feel free to join in |
294 | 00:20:32,087 | 00:20:35,045 | Now, whose go was It was yours, Mr Gallimore, I think | Now, whose go was It was yours, Mr Gallimore, I think |
295 | 00:20:36,007 | 00:20:36,996 | G | G |
296 | 00:20:37,127 | 00:20:40,039 | No, no, I don't think he's going to make it, is he? | No, no, I don't think he's going to make it, is he? |
297 | 00:20:40,127 | 00:20:42,766 | Mr Meldrew, you care to have a stab at it at all? | Mr Meldrew, you care to have a stab at it at all? |
298 | 00:21:17,847 | 00:21:19,678 | NICK: See you very soon | NICK: See you very soon |
299 | 00:21:25,607 | 00:21:27,916 | Where have you been until this hour? | Where have you been until this hour? |
300 | 00:21:29,207 | 00:21:31,641 | God, 9:20 | God, 9:20 |
301 | 00:21:32,167 | 00:21:33,964 | I'm ready for a bath | I'm ready for a bath |
302 | 00:21:34,327 | 00:21:35,919 | Is that this evening's local? | Is that this evening's local? |
303 | 00:21:36,007 | 00:21:39,556 | Don't expect they've printed that second correction yet | Don't expect they've printed that second correction yet |
304 | 00:21:39,647 | 00:21:42,115 | I went for a drink with Meg after work | I went for a drink with Meg after work |
305 | 00:21:42,727 | 00:21:46,242 | -I did ring but, of course, there was no answer -JEAN: Oh, you're back! | -I did ring but, of course, there was no answer -JEAN: Oh, you're back! |
306 | 00:21:48,447 | 00:21:50,165 | Can you believe it? | Can you believe it? |
307 | 00:21:50,687 | 00:21:52,917 | All the time we've been out searching for | All the time we've been out searching for |
308 | 00:21:53,007 | 00:21:55,282 | Oh, you little terror | Oh, you little terror |
309 | 00:21:55,647 | 00:21:58,525 | We've been climbing up trees and everything | We've been climbing up trees and everything |
310 | 00:21:59,447 | 00:22:02,245 | Come along, let's get you upstairs | Come along, let's get you upstairs |
311 | 00:22:03,607 | 00:22:06,599 | My God! | My God! |
312 | 00:22:09,087 | 00:22:13,239 | I feel as though I've been up the Amazon and back today, I do straight | I feel as though I've been up the Amazon and back today, I do straight |
313 | 00:22:13,367 | 00:22:14,356 | Oh, yes | Oh, yes |
314 | 00:22:15,487 | 00:22:18,957 | The old tension coming on again, is it? | The old tension coming on again, is it? |
315 | 00:22:20,407 | 00:22:25,435 | I expect you need another session with your reflexologist in Banbury Crescent | I expect you need another session with your reflexologist in Banbury Crescent |
316 | 00:22:26,207 | 00:22:29,916 | Quite soothing, is it, the treatment you get up there? | Quite soothing, is it, the treatment you get up there? |
317 | 00:22:30,007 | 00:22:31,235 | Yes Why? | Yes Why? |
318 | 00:22:32,007 | 00:22:34,919 | As you're lying on a bed with your eyes closed, | As you're lying on a bed with your eyes closed, |
319 | 00:22:35,007 | 00:22:37,646 | drifting into a trance | drifting into a trance |
320 | 00:22:38,007 | 00:22:42,398 | Quite soothing as she runs her little finger over your feet | Quite soothing as she runs her little finger over your feet |
321 | 00:22:42,607 | 00:22:44,757 | I told you, yes Why? | I told you, yes Why? |
322 | 00:22:45,407 | 00:22:48,444 | And you're quite sure, are you, | And you're quite sure, are you, |
323 | 00:22:48,527 | 00:22:51,200 | that it's her little finger she's using? | that it's her little finger she's using? |
324 | 00:22:51,287 | 00:22:53,881 | -Yes, of course What do you mean? -Oh! | -Yes, of course What do you mean? -Oh! |
325 | 00:22:54,487 | 00:22:56,717 | Just something I read in here | Just something I read in here |
326 | 00:22:57,447 | 00:22:59,278 | In this article | In this article |
327 | 00:22:59,767 | 00:23:03,726 | on the growing problem of suburban prostitution | on the growing problem of suburban prostitution |
328 | 00:23:05,167 | 00:23:08,045 | I wonder if this strikes a chord at all | I wonder if this strikes a chord at all |
329 | 00:23:08,327 | 00:23:13,685 | ''An interview with bored housewife Vicky, 32, | ''An interview with bored housewife Vicky, 32, |
330 | 00:23:14,327 | 00:23:17,763 | ''who entertains a wide variety of clients | ''who entertains a wide variety of clients |
331 | 00:23:17,887 | 00:23:22,085 | ''behind the lace curtains of her bungalow in Banbury Crescent | ''behind the lace curtains of her bungalow in Banbury Crescent |
332 | 00:23:24,087 | 00:23:28,558 | '''I get all kinds coming round, young and old | '''I get all kinds coming round, young and old |
333 | 00:23:29,047 | 00:23:33,484 | '''They all look normal but you'd be surprised at the things they ask you to do | '''They all look normal but you'd be surprised at the things they ask you to do |
334 | 00:23:33,927 | 00:23:38,682 | '''One bloke likes me walking across his back in high-heeled shoes | '''One bloke likes me walking across his back in high-heeled shoes |
335 | 00:23:38,927 | 00:23:41,805 | '''Another, elderly gent, | '''Another, elderly gent, |
336 | 00:23:41,887 | 00:23:46,324 | '''pays me just to stroke the soles of his feet with my breasts | '''pays me just to stroke the soles of his feet with my breasts |
337 | 00:23:52,527 | 00:23:55,200 | '''I suppose it takes all sorts''' | '''I suppose it takes all sorts''' |
338 | 00:23:56,647 | 00:23:58,046 | (STUTTERING) | (STUTTERING) |
339 | 00:23:58,127 | 00:24:00,687 | Just remind me, will you, | Just remind me, will you, |
340 | 00:24:00,767 | 00:24:03,964 | how this all started in the first place? | how this all started in the first place? |
341 | 00:24:04,727 | 00:24:06,080 | Hmm? | Hmm? |
342 | 00:24:06,647 | 00:24:10,765 | Well, it was, uh, Big Jeff at the chip shop | Well, it was, uh, Big Jeff at the chip shop |
343 | 00:24:11,127 | 00:24:14,483 | He said he went to this woman who had a magic touch with feet | He said he went to this woman who had a magic touch with feet |
344 | 00:24:14,647 | 00:24:19,243 | And he got rid of all his stress and tension and did I want her telephone number? | And he got rid of all his stress and tension and did I want her telephone number? |
345 | 00:24:19,327 | 00:24:24,321 | So you went round and asked if she would do the same for you | So you went round and asked if she would do the same for you |
346 | 00:24:24,407 | 00:24:25,806 | as she did for him? | as she did for him? |
347 | 00:24:25,887 | 00:24:28,526 | Well, yes, I mean, I just | Well, yes, I mean, I just |
348 | 00:24:28,967 | 00:24:31,242 | I don't know what to say | I don't know what to say |
349 | 00:24:31,407 | 00:24:34,763 | ''Come away all relaxed and tickety'' | ''Come away all relaxed and tickety'' |
350 | 00:24:36,607 | 00:24:38,916 | Five times you've | Five times you've |
351 | 00:24:39,007 | 00:24:42,636 | But, I mean, where did I get the idea that she was a reflexologist? | But, I mean, where did I get the idea that she was a reflexologist? |
352 | 00:24:42,727 | 00:24:45,958 | Where do you get any of your ideas, Victor? | Where do you get any of your ideas, Victor? |
353 | 00:24:46,127 | 00:24:48,721 | You tell me, because I just | You tell me, because I just |
354 | 00:24:49,087 | 00:24:50,076 | I | I |
355 | 00:24:50,167 | 00:24:52,727 | Nobody would believe it, would they? | Nobody would believe it, would they? |
356 | 00:24:52,807 | 00:24:56,243 | That someone could lie there with a nipple between their toes | That someone could lie there with a nipple between their toes |
357 | 00:24:56,327 | 00:24:58,363 | and not even realise | and not even realise |
358 | 00:24:58,847 | 00:25:02,396 | And you talk about things making sense! | And you talk about things making sense! |
359 | 00:25:04,047 | 00:25:07,119 | Well, I mean, I don't understand | Well, I mean, I don't understand |
360 | 00:25:07,327 | 00:25:08,476 | I mean, she just | I mean, she just |
361 | 00:25:08,567 | 00:25:10,285 | (EXCLAIMS) | (EXCLAIMS) |
362 | 00:25:10,487 | 00:25:14,002 | My punctures are giving me gyp again | My punctures are giving me gyp again |
363 | 00:25:14,087 | 00:25:17,204 | I suppose I'd better go and put some ointment on them | I suppose I'd better go and put some ointment on them |
364 | 00:25:17,447 | 00:25:20,245 | Look, Margaret, I'm | Look, Margaret, I'm |
365 | 00:25:32,967 | 00:25:37,916 | Ah, well, that's a happy ending, isn't it? | Ah, well, that's a happy ending, isn't it? |
366 | 00:25:38,007 | 00:25:39,645 | After all | After all |
367 | 00:25:41,407 | 00:25:44,524 | I wonder where he'd got to all that while | I wonder where he'd got to all that while |
368 | 00:25:44,607 | 00:25:48,122 | I suppose it'll just have to remain a mystery like a lot of | I suppose it'll just have to remain a mystery like a lot of |
369 | 00:25:50,167 | 00:25:53,239 | -Oh, excuse me -Not getting any better, then? | -Oh, excuse me -Not getting any better, then? |
370 | 00:25:53,327 | 00:25:55,636 | -Sorry? -Your hay fever | -Sorry? -Your hay fever |
371 | 00:25:56,327 | 00:25:58,636 | Oh, no I'm fine with pollen | Oh, no I'm fine with pollen |
372 | 00:25:58,727 | 00:26:00,797 | That's not the problem at all | That's not the problem at all |
373 | 00:26:00,887 | 00:26:03,321 | It's the feathers that set me off | It's the feathers that set me off |
374 | 00:26:04,927 | 00:26:06,326 | Feathers? | Feathers? |
375 | 00:26:06,407 | 00:26:09,797 | Yes, I've always been cursed with that since I was a girl | Yes, I've always been cursed with that since I was a girl |
376 | 00:26:10,487 | 00:26:15,038 | Then why on earth have you got a bird as a pet if you're allergic to feathers? | Then why on earth have you got a bird as a pet if you're allergic to feathers? |
377 | 00:26:16,527 | 00:26:19,041 | Never really thought about it like that | Never really thought about it like that |
378 | 00:26:21,527 | 00:26:25,042 | The pleasure it gives me and the companionship | The pleasure it gives me and the companionship |
379 | 00:26:25,127 | 00:26:27,118 | are the important things | are the important things |
380 | 00:26:27,727 | 00:26:31,925 | Well, I mean, you put up with all the misery, don't you? | Well, I mean, you put up with all the misery, don't you? |
381 | 00:26:32,607 | 00:26:34,518 | If it's something you love | If it's something you love |
382 | 00:26:41,207 | 00:26:44,677 | -You ready for a cup of tea? -Oh, yes, Jean | -You ready for a cup of tea? -Oh, yes, Jean |
383 | 00:26:44,767 | 00:26:46,758 | I could just do with that | I could just do with that |
384 | 00:26:56,167 | 00:26:58,886 | (MUSIC PLAYING ON TV) | (MUSIC PLAYING ON TV) |
385 | 00:27:12,607 | 00:27:14,279 | Victor! | Victor! |
386 | 00:27:14,367 | 00:27:18,599 | What is it? I'll be down in just a second as soon as I've done this | What is it? I'll be down in just a second as soon as I've done this |
387 | 00:27:27,087 | 00:27:31,080 | MAN: In five Two | MAN: In five Two |
388 | 00:27:31,767 | 00:27:35,316 | Tonight, as the furore mounts over a local newspaper's | Tonight, as the furore mounts over a local newspaper's |
389 | 00:27:35,407 | 00:27:38,797 | unwarranted intrusion into the privacy of its MP, | unwarranted intrusion into the privacy of its MP, |
390 | 00:27:38,887 | 00:27:42,960 | we give the paper's editor, Victor Meldrew, a taste of his own medicine | we give the paper's editor, Victor Meldrew, a taste of his own medicine |
391 | 00:27:43,087 | 00:27:47,558 | We ask the question, ''You can dish it out to others, but can you take it yourself?'' | We ask the question, ''You can dish it out to others, but can you take it yourself?'' |
392 | 00:27:57,127 | 00:28:00,278 | # They say I might as well face the truth | # They say I might as well face the truth |
393 | 00:28:00,367 | 00:28:03,359 | # That I am just too long in the tooth | # That I am just too long in the tooth |
394 | 00:28:04,047 | 00:28:07,039 | # I've started to deteriorate | # I've started to deteriorate |
395 | 00:28:07,367 | 00:28:10,757 | #And now I've passed my own sell-by date | #And now I've passed my own sell-by date |
396 | 00:28:11,087 | 00:28:14,204 | # Oh, I am no spring chicken, it's true | # Oh, I am no spring chicken, it's true |
397 | 00:28:14,287 | 00:28:17,643 | # I have to pop my teeth in to chew | # I have to pop my teeth in to chew |
398 | 00:28:17,727 | 00:28:21,083 | #And my old knees have started to knock | #And my old knees have started to knock |
399 | 00:28:21,487 | 00:28:24,638 | # I've just got too many miles on the clock | # I've just got too many miles on the clock |
400 | 00:28:24,847 | 00:28:28,556 | # So I'm a wrinkly, crinkly, set in my ways | # So I'm a wrinkly, crinkly, set in my ways |
401 | 00:28:28,687 | 00:28:32,396 | # It's true that my body has seen better days | # It's true that my body has seen better days |
402 | 00:28:32,487 | 00:28:36,002 | # But give me half a chance and I can still misbehave | # But give me half a chance and I can still misbehave |
403 | 00:28:36,167 | 00:28:38,681 | # One foot in the grave | # One foot in the grave |
404 | 00:28:39,687 | 00:28:42,360 | # One foot in the grave # | # One foot in the grave # |
404 | 00:28:39,687 | 00:28:42,360 | # One foot in the grave # | # One foot in the grave # |