# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:02,520 00:00:05,672 # They say I might as well face the truth # They say I might as well face the truth
2 00:00:06,120 00:00:09,078 # That I am just too long in the tooth? # That I am just too long in the tooth?
3 00:00:09,600 00:00:12,513 # So I'm an CAP and weak-knead # So I'm an CAP and weak-knead
4 00:00:13,040 00:00:16,078 # But I have not yet quite gone to seed # But I have not yet quite gone to seed
5 00:00:16,480 00:00:20,553 # I may be over the hill now that I have retired # I may be over the hill now that I have retired
6 00:00:20,640 00:00:23,996 # Fading away but I've not yet expired # Fading away but I've not yet expired
7 00:00:24,080 00:00:27,391 # clapped out, run down, too old to save # clapped out, run down, too old to save
8 00:00:27,760 00:00:30,115 # One foot in the grave # # One foot in the grave #
9 00:00:51,640 00:00:53,472 (SIGHING LOUDLY) (SIGHING LOUDLY)
10 00:00:58,800 00:01:00,632 Oh, hello. Oh, hello.
11 00:01:00,720 00:01:02,870 Yes, speaking. Yes, speaking.
12 00:01:03,640 00:01:05,551 No, no. No, no.
13 00:01:05,920 00:01:08,673 I've enjoyed listening to the complete works of Rachmaninoff through a plimsoll. I've enjoyed listening to the complete works of Rachmaninoff through a plimsoll.
14 00:01:08,760 00:01:11,195 It's brightened my day, no end. It's brightened my day, no end.
15 00:01:12,960 00:01:14,314 Never mind. Never mind.
16 00:01:16,160 00:01:20,597 Well, it's about this private prosecution you're proposing to take out on my husband Well, it's about this private prosecution you're proposing to take out on my husband
17 00:01:20,680 00:01:25,072 for an unprovoked physical assault on the 14th of June, this year. for an unprovoked physical assault on the 14th of June, this year.
18 00:01:25,160 00:01:30,599 To wit, the forcible insertion of a hypodermic syringe into our client's bottom, To wit, the forcible insertion of a hypodermic syringe into our client's bottom,
19 00:01:31,800 00:01:34,155 occasioning him actual bodily harm. occasioning him actual bodily harm.
20 00:01:36,040 00:01:37,269 Firstly, Firstly,
21 00:01:37,720 00:01:43,636 I have to say, I'm amazed how long it's taken you to scrape some kind of case together on this one. I have to say, I'm amazed how long it's taken you to scrape some kind of case together on this one.
22 00:01:44,040 00:01:45,269 Secondly, Secondly,
23 00:01:45,360 00:01:48,591 since your client's bottom was being thrust out of a car window since your client's bottom was being thrust out of a car window
24 00:01:48,680 00:01:51,877 at the time the attack took place, I'd hardly call it unprovoked. at the time the attack took place, I'd hardly call it unprovoked.
25 00:01:52,520 00:01:53,954 And thirdly, And thirdly,
26 00:01:54,040 00:01:58,034 as my husband's now been dead for five months, I'd say your chances of getting a conviction as my husband's now been dead for five months, I'd say your chances of getting a conviction
27 00:01:58,120 00:02:00,111 are not especially high. are not especially high.
28 00:02:02,160 00:02:04,436 Oh, yes, I most certainly am. Oh, yes, I most certainly am.
29 00:02:05,160 00:02:06,912 Entirely serious. Entirely serious.
30 00:02:08,200 00:02:11,511 And if you want to go raking up evidence And if you want to go raking up evidence
31 00:02:11,600 00:02:15,878 why don't you try finding the piece of scum who sent him flying into the gutter that night why don't you try finding the piece of scum who sent him flying into the gutter that night
32 00:02:16,000 00:02:18,594 without so much as stopping to see... without so much as stopping to see...
33 00:02:23,360 00:02:25,397 If you would please, yes. If you would please, yes.
34 00:02:26,360 00:02:27,919 In the meantime, In the meantime,
35 00:02:28,000 00:02:32,278 I can just file this away, can I, with all my other legal correspondence. I can just file this away, can I, with all my other legal correspondence.
36 00:02:32,360 00:02:33,680 Thank you. Thank you.
37 00:02:40,400 00:02:41,720 Now, then. Now, then.
38 00:02:42,600 00:02:43,999 What's next? What's next?
39 00:02:44,280 00:02:45,998 (DOORBELL RINGING) (DOORBELL RINGING)
40 00:02:47,120 00:02:49,031 Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
41 00:02:54,680 00:02:57,320 Mr Gundry, do please come in. Mr Gundry, do please come in.
42 00:03:01,720 00:03:05,236 Mrs Meldrew, how is it? You sounded rather agitated on the phone. Mrs Meldrew, how is it? You sounded rather agitated on the phone.
43 00:03:05,320 00:03:07,960 Yes, and it's hardly surprising, is it? Yes, and it's hardly surprising, is it?
44 00:03:08,040 00:03:10,111 The money this is costing me The money this is costing me
45 00:03:10,200 00:03:13,352 for what I hoped would be a precious for what I hoped would be a precious
46 00:03:13,440 00:03:16,034 and lasting memorial to my marriage. and lasting memorial to my marriage.
47 00:03:21,720 00:03:25,270 We did agree on the composition, with you, very slightly foreground... We did agree on the composition, with you, very slightly foreground...
48 00:03:25,360 00:03:27,556 I'm not talking about the composition. I'm not talking about the composition.
49 00:03:27,640 00:03:29,551 I'm talking about this. I'm talking about this.
50 00:03:30,960 00:03:34,635 How many photograph albums did I give you to work from? How many photograph albums did I give you to work from?
51 00:03:34,720 00:03:38,873 —I'm sorry, I don't quite... —It's Alastair Sim, isn't it? —I'm sorry, I don't quite... —It's Alastair Sim, isn't it?
52 00:03:42,920 00:03:45,878 Alastair Sim? No, no, no, no, no. Alastair Sim? No, no, no, no, no.
53 00:03:47,320 00:03:49,152 Do you think? Do you think?
54 00:03:49,240 00:03:53,029 I don't know why you didn't just put him in drag as the headmistress of St Trinians I don't know why you didn't just put him in drag as the headmistress of St Trinians
55 00:03:53,120 00:03:54,394 and have done with it. and have done with it.
56 00:03:54,480 00:03:58,792 No, no. I'm afraid I'll have to take issue with you on that, Mrs Meldrew. No, no. I'm afraid I'll have to take issue with you on that, Mrs Meldrew.
57 00:03:58,880 00:04:03,238 I mean, Alastair Sim had a much more rascally quality, which was quite different. I mean, Alastair Sim had a much more rascally quality, which was quite different.
58 00:04:03,320 00:04:06,278 The sort of parts that would now be played by a Bob Hoskins The sort of parts that would now be played by a Bob Hoskins
59 00:04:06,360 00:04:09,273 or a Freddie Jones, if one thinks of him, or a Freddie Jones, if one thinks of him,
60 00:04:09,360 00:04:12,273 for example, as Professor Potter in the 567500!" for Scoundrels, for example, as Professor Potter in the 567500!" for Scoundrels,
61 00:04:12,360 00:04:16,718 Look, I don't want a bloody debate about his film career. Look, I don't want a bloody debate about his film career.
62 00:04:16,800 00:04:21,749 All I'm saying is, this is not the man I shared 38 years of my life with. All I'm saying is, this is not the man I shared 38 years of my life with.
63 00:04:22,400 00:04:26,109 And it's not going on my wall looking like that. And it's not going on my wall looking like that.
64 00:04:26,200 00:04:30,717 So, you can just have another 90, Mr Gundry, So, you can just have another 90, Mr Gundry,
65 00:04:30,800 00:04:32,677 before I go totally witless. before I go totally witless.
66 00:04:37,200 00:04:39,589 Oh, Glynis, you're early. Oh, Glynis, you're early.
67 00:04:39,680 00:04:42,240 Or am I late? Oh, heck! Or am I late? Oh, heck!
68 00:04:42,440 00:04:44,954 It's okay. Don't panic. It's okay. Don't panic.
69 00:04:46,280 00:04:49,432 I booked a table for 1:30 but they're very easy at that place. I booked a table for 1:30 but they're very easy at that place.
70 00:04:49,520 00:04:51,750 Have I missed all the fun and games? Have I missed all the fun and games?
71 00:04:51,840 00:04:53,433 Oh, don't. Oh, don't.
72 00:04:53,520 00:04:55,636 You talk about taking over the baton. You talk about taking over the baton.
73 00:04:55,720 00:04:58,758 Listen, I've just about had a week of it myself. Listen, I've just about had a week of it myself.
74 00:04:58,840 00:05:03,835 What with Michael's old chum sending me that hideous specimen yesterday morning. What with Michael's old chum sending me that hideous specimen yesterday morning.
75 00:05:03,920 00:05:05,752 Oh, dear, what's this? Oh, dear, what's this?
76 00:05:05,840 00:05:09,071 Best left till we're on our coffees, I think. Best left till we're on our coffees, I think.
77 00:05:09,160 00:05:12,676 I don't know. The problems just don't seem to go away these days, do they? I don't know. The problems just don't seem to go away these days, do they?
78 00:05:12,760 00:05:14,159 Oh... Oh...
79 00:05:15,200 00:05:17,396 But then, they never did. But then, they never did.
80 00:05:18,520 00:05:20,431 VICTOR: Unbelievable! VICTOR: Unbelievable!
81 00:05:22,560 00:05:26,758 I sometimes think the entire human race has gone completely daffy. I sometimes think the entire human race has gone completely daffy.
82 00:05:27,640 00:05:30,519 Do you know what they were doing up there at the supermarket Do you know what they were doing up there at the supermarket
83 00:05:30,600 00:05:32,876 when I called in for your cauliflower? when I called in for your cauliflower?
84 00:05:32,960 00:05:36,669 Only filming a bloody Christmas commercial for television. Only filming a bloody Christmas commercial for television.
85 00:05:37,480 00:05:39,437 In the middle of June. In the middle of June.
86 00:05:40,680 00:05:45,356 Ruddy Santa's elves dancing about and God knows what—not. Ruddy Santa's elves dancing about and God knows what—not.
87 00:05:45,960 00:05:48,759 They had the whole car park covered in shredded paper They had the whole car park covered in shredded paper
88 00:05:48,840 00:05:53,198 blowing it about here, there and everywhere to look as if it's snowing. blowing it about here, there and everywhere to look as if it's snowing.
89 00:05:54,000 00:05:55,513 Look at that. Look at that.
90 00:05:56,600 00:05:59,274 I hate to think where else it's got to. I hate to think where else it's got to.
91 00:06:00,600 00:06:03,831 Right up my exhaust, I bet a pound to a penny. Right up my exhaust, I bet a pound to a penny.
92 00:06:06,600 00:06:08,830 Where did that come from? Where did that come from?
93 00:06:08,920 00:06:11,196 Oh, it's one Mum did ages ago. Oh, it's one Mum did ages ago.
94 00:06:12,240 00:06:16,871 Apart from a couple of little rips, it's still in pretty good nick. Apart from a couple of little rips, it's still in pretty good nick.
95 00:06:16,960 00:06:19,600 I thought I might put an advert in the local. I thought I might put an advert in the local.
96 00:06:19,680 00:06:23,594 Let's see if there's someone out there who wants to give it a good ho... Oh! Let's see if there's someone out there who wants to give it a good ho... Oh!
97 00:06:23,680 00:06:27,355 You haven't been to that car boot again? You haven't been to that car boot again?
98 00:06:27,440 00:06:30,319 What is the point of my having a good clear out What is the point of my having a good clear out
99 00:06:30,400 00:06:33,233 when you bring back all this junk? when you bring back all this junk?
100 00:06:36,400 00:06:40,189 You know what I managed to get hold of? Do you remember old Dr Spicer, You know what I managed to get hold of? Do you remember old Dr Spicer,
101 00:06:40,280 00:06:42,954 dropped dead last year at the Texaco filling station? dropped dead last year at the Texaco filling station?
102 00:06:43,080 00:06:47,551 Oh, and someone tried to give him the kiss of life with the free air pump. Oh, and someone tried to give him the kiss of life with the free air pump.
103 00:06:48,320 00:06:50,630 Oh, you're joking. Oh, you're joking.
104 00:06:51,680 00:06:55,913 Twenty quid was all his daughter wanted for the full bag of tricks. Twenty quid was all his daughter wanted for the full bag of tricks.
105 00:06:56,000 00:06:58,799 Even got one of those things for testing your blood pressure. Even got one of those things for testing your blood pressure.
106 00:06:58,880 00:07:01,156 You test my blood pressure. You test my blood pressure.
107 00:07:03,720 00:07:06,360 I suppose this is going to be the new obsession now, is it? I suppose this is going to be the new obsession now, is it?
108 00:07:06,440 00:07:08,431 —Sorry? —Ever since you picked up that leaflet —Sorry? —Ever since you picked up that leaflet
109 00:07:08,520 00:07:11,194 in the post office about heart disease. in the post office about heart disease.
110 00:07:18,360 00:07:19,714 Nothing. Nothing.
111 00:07:21,320 00:07:22,799 What does that mean? What does that mean?
112 00:07:22,880 00:07:25,952 I'm either dead or deaf. I'm either dead or deaf.
113 00:07:26,040 00:07:29,112 I haven't got much longer for this world, I can tell you that much. I haven't got much longer for this world, I can tell you that much.
114 00:07:29,200 00:07:34,673 Excuse me. Which one of us actually suffered a coronary last year? I seem to have forgotten. Excuse me. Which one of us actually suffered a coronary last year? I seem to have forgotten.
115 00:07:35,520 00:07:38,717 Isn't that district nurse of yours coming round this afternoon? Isn't that district nurse of yours coming round this afternoon?
116 00:07:38,800 00:07:40,711 Ah, she'll give me a quick check. Ah, she'll give me a quick check.
117 00:07:40,920 00:07:43,639 Just to make sure I'm still ticking over at any rate. Just to make sure I'm still ticking over at any rate.
118 00:07:43,840 00:07:44,830 We'll see. We'll see.
119 00:07:46,000 00:07:49,118 How far up's a rectal thermometer meant to go? How far up's a rectal thermometer meant to go?
120 00:07:50,680 00:07:51,829 What? What?
121 00:07:54,520 00:07:58,115 106, this one says. That should be enough. 106, this one says. That should be enough.
122 00:07:59,560 00:08:02,473 I feel as if I'm burning up to high heaven. I feel as if I'm burning up to high heaven.
123 00:08:07,640 00:08:09,597 Then we're fine again, then, Mrs Meldrew. Then we're fine again, then, Mrs Meldrew.
124 00:08:09,680 00:08:11,193 I shan't need to see you again now until... I shan't need to see you again now until...
125 00:08:11,280 00:08:12,350 (MOBILE PHONE RINGING) (MOBILE PHONE RINGING)
126 00:08:12,440 00:08:14,351 —Should we say, the 10th of August? —Yes, that's fine. —Should we say, the 10th of August? —Yes, that's fine.
127 00:08:14,440 00:08:17,353 Excuse us, that'll probably be my nanny. Excuse us, that'll probably be my nanny.
128 00:08:17,440 00:08:19,158 Hello. Hello.
129 00:08:19,240 00:08:21,880 Hi, Rachel, what's the prob... Hi, Rachel, what's the prob...
130 00:08:21,960 00:08:24,759 Oh, really, when did he ring? Oh, really, when did he ring?
131 00:08:24,840 00:08:28,276 Excuse me, it's a query from my accountant about something. Would you mind if I just...? Excuse me, it's a query from my accountant about something. Would you mind if I just...?
132 00:08:28,360 00:08:32,354 No, no. I've got to get this stuff out to the dustman, anyway. No, no. I've got to get this stuff out to the dustman, anyway.
133 00:08:32,440 00:08:35,671 Oh, yes. Well, it's probably on the January bank statement Oh, yes. Well, it's probably on the January bank statement
134 00:08:35,760 00:08:37,797 which is either in that letter rack which is either in that letter rack
135 00:08:37,880 00:08:40,235 or on the desk in my bedroom. or on the desk in my bedroom.
136 00:08:40,400 00:08:41,720 Could you? Could you?
137 00:08:42,800 00:08:44,552 Mr Meldrew, are you well? Mr Meldrew, are you well?
138 00:08:44,640 00:08:47,473 Ah, well, I'm hoping so. Ah, well, I'm hoping so.
139 00:08:47,560 00:08:50,518 I don't know if my wife has said anything to you about my... I don't know if my wife has said anything to you about my...
140 00:08:50,600 00:08:53,877 Oh, yes. You were a bit concerned about your fitness level. Oh, yes. You were a bit concerned about your fitness level.
141 00:08:53,960 00:08:58,193 Okay, how long would it take you to just race upstairs, do you think? Okay, how long would it take you to just race upstairs, do you think?
142 00:09:00,280 00:09:02,556 Yes, I think I can manage that. Yes, I think I can manage that.
143 00:09:08,720 00:09:13,715 That's about right. Now, if you could very quickly run down it for me then, please. That's about right. Now, if you could very quickly run down it for me then, please.
144 00:09:17,560 00:09:19,676 Sorry, can you repeat that? Sorry, can you repeat that?
145 00:09:25,520 00:09:27,193 Yeah, keep going. Yeah, keep going.
146 00:09:30,320 00:09:31,674 Keep going. Keep going.
147 00:09:35,920 00:09:39,311 Okay, then. Just try skipping to the bottom. Okay, then. Just try skipping to the bottom.
148 00:09:39,720 00:09:41,518 (THUMPING ON STAIRS) (THUMPING ON STAIRS)
149 00:09:43,680 00:09:46,911 Ah, stop there. That's what we want, er... Ah, stop there. That's what we want, er...
150 00:09:47,520 00:09:49,431 Now, you've gone a bit faint. Now, you've gone a bit faint.
151 00:09:49,520 00:09:51,272 Yes, just a little. Yes, just a little.
152 00:09:53,400 00:09:56,438 No, no, I just wanted to check the balance. No, no, I just wanted to check the balance.
153 00:10:01,640 00:10:04,359 Yep, yep, that's fine. Yep, yep, that's fine.
154 00:10:05,840 00:10:09,993 If you could very quickly get that off for me, that would be lovely. If you could very quickly get that off for me, that would be lovely.
155 00:10:13,240 00:10:17,279 Oh, how's the little fellow, by the way? Not playing up at all? Oh, how's the little fellow, by the way? Not playing up at all?
156 00:10:21,280 00:10:23,635 Is that something else I've got to worry about? Is that something else I've got to worry about?
157 00:10:23,840 00:10:27,674 No, just stick a first class stamp on it, that'll be fine. No, just stick a first class stamp on it, that'll be fine.
158 00:10:27,880 00:10:29,757 —\/\/hat? —Bye. —\/\/hat? —Bye.
159 00:10:31,120 00:10:33,680 Oh, Mr Meldrew. Oh, Mr Meldrew.
160 00:10:34,520 00:10:38,912 We were saying. Have you thought about taking up jogging at all? We were saying. Have you thought about taking up jogging at all?
161 00:10:42,920 00:10:45,594 My legs are all seizing up now. My legs are all seizing up now.
162 00:10:46,400 00:10:50,837 I knew that would happen if I went for that run in the park this evening. I knew that would happen if I went for that run in the park this evening.
163 00:10:50,920 00:10:52,149 Bloody woman. Bloody woman.
164 00:10:52,240 00:10:54,754 Should've never listened to her in the first place. Should've never listened to her in the first place.
165 00:10:54,840 00:10:57,480 MARGARET: You're just not used to the exercise. MARGARET: You're just not used to the exercise.
166 00:10:57,560 00:11:00,279 I mean, that did my confidence a lot of good, didn't it? I mean, that did my confidence a lot of good, didn't it?
167 00:11:00,360 00:11:03,352 Being lapped by an over—805 fitness class. Being lapped by an over—805 fitness class.
168 00:11:04,880 00:11:08,475 Artificial hips clacking away as they went past. Artificial hips clacking away as they went past.
169 00:11:11,000 00:11:14,994 Bought a drink to cool off and some tramp chucked 50p in my cup. Bought a drink to cool off and some tramp chucked 50p in my cup.
170 00:11:16,600 00:11:18,910 I mean, what's the point? I mean, what's the point?
171 00:11:19,000 00:11:21,389 I suppose we've all got to go sometime. I suppose we've all got to go sometime.
172 00:11:21,480 00:11:23,517 MARGARET: Where, exactly? MARGARET: Where, exactly?
173 00:11:23,600 00:11:24,670 What do you mean? What do you mean?
174 00:11:24,760 00:11:27,878 Apparently, old Mrs Gantwood down on the corner Apparently, old Mrs Gantwood down on the corner
175 00:11:27,960 00:11:32,591 has asked the hospital now if they can just let her husband die with dignity. has asked the hospital now if they can just let her husband die with dignity.
176 00:11:33,400 00:11:36,995 But he only went in for a cataract operation, didn't he? But he only went in for a cataract operation, didn't he?
177 00:11:37,080 00:11:40,630 I know, I think she's pushing her luck a bit there, to be honest. I know, I think she's pushing her luck a bit there, to be honest.
178 00:11:42,640 00:11:44,870 Oh, Victor. Oh, Victor.
179 00:11:44,960 00:11:49,318 Put that ruddy thing away. You know you haven't got a clue how it works. Put that ruddy thing away. You know you haven't got a clue how it works.
180 00:11:50,880 00:11:52,279 (HISSING) (HISSING)
181 00:11:53,240 00:11:55,800 Oh, it's got a ruddy puncture now. Oh, it's got a ruddy puncture now.
182 00:11:56,320 00:11:58,072 How did that happen? How did that happen?
183 00:12:00,880 00:12:03,110 Can I smell onions frying? Can I smell onions frying?
184 00:12:10,520 00:12:14,593 Oh, there's a man there on the corner, setting up a hot dog stand. Oh, there's a man there on the corner, setting up a hot dog stand.
185 00:12:15,800 00:12:18,792 Two women next to him, lighting candles. Two women next to him, lighting candles.
186 00:12:19,400 00:12:22,279 What on earth do you suppose that's about? What on earth do you suppose that's about?
187 00:12:46,360 00:12:49,159 Oi, oi, oi! Where do you think you're going? Oi, oi, oi! Where do you think you're going?
188 00:12:49,240 00:12:53,199 A lot of people here before you, you know, with worse things to worry about. A lot of people here before you, you know, with worse things to worry about.
189 00:12:53,280 00:12:57,638 —Pay you to have a little consideration. —Worse things to worry about? —Pay you to have a little consideration. —Worse things to worry about?
190 00:12:57,960 00:13:00,156 Who are these people? Who are these people?
191 00:13:00,240 00:13:03,358 This is my house, for goodness sake. This is my house, for goodness sake.
192 00:13:03,880 00:13:05,598 (BLITHERING) (BLITHERING)
193 00:13:06,920 00:13:08,274 Excuse me! Excuse me!
194 00:13:08,880 00:13:11,190 MAN: In you 90. Easy. MAN: In you 90. Easy.
195 00:13:14,720 00:13:16,313 (GREGORIAN CHANT PLAYING) (GREGORIAN CHANT PLAYING)
196 00:13:31,800 00:13:33,074 Victor. Victor.
197 00:13:35,640 00:13:39,076 If you would, Father. Yes, I'd appreciate it. Thank you. If you would, Father. Yes, I'd appreciate it. Thank you.
198 00:13:39,160 00:13:42,391 Well, speak to me... Wake me up... Anything! Well, speak to me... Wake me up... Anything!
199 00:13:42,480 00:13:44,198 It's this bloody advert. It's this bloody advert.
200 00:13:44,280 00:13:45,953 I wish I'd never put it in. I wish I'd never put it in.
201 00:13:46,040 00:13:50,352 It's not my fault that people twist things round and see what they want to see. It's not my fault that people twist things round and see what they want to see.
202 00:13:50,440 00:13:55,037 Advert? "Remarkable embroidery of the Virgin Mary. Advert? "Remarkable embroidery of the Virgin Mary.
203 00:13:55,120 00:13:57,077 "Beautifully hand stitched. "Beautifully hand stitched.
204 00:13:57,160 00:14:00,357 "Has two small tears under her eyes." "Has two small tears under her eyes."
205 00:14:02,800 00:14:04,871 What do you want to put that for? What do you want to put that for?
206 00:14:04,960 00:14:09,238 Two small tears, is what it says. Two small tears, is what it says.
207 00:14:10,240 00:14:12,038 Just after you left Just after you left
208 00:14:12,120 00:14:15,636 those two women turned up, said they'd been outside all night those two women turned up, said they'd been outside all night
209 00:14:15,720 00:14:18,314 praying for a friend of theirs who's in hospital. praying for a friend of theirs who's in hospital.
210 00:14:18,400 00:14:20,914 First thing this morning, they heard his results were clear. First thing this morning, they heard his results were clear.
211 00:14:21,080 00:14:23,594 Could they come in and give thanks for the miracle? Could they come in and give thanks for the miracle?
212 00:14:23,800 00:14:26,030 Well, before I could even gather my thoughts Well, before I could even gather my thoughts
213 00:14:26,280 00:14:28,317 all this lot started to arrive, all this lot started to arrive,
214 00:14:28,400 00:14:30,710 like something out of Franco Zeffirelli. like something out of Franco Zeffirelli.
215 00:14:30,800 00:14:35,112 I've phoned Father Blakey at Sacred Heart. He's going to try and get round here right away. I've phoned Father Blakey at Sacred Heart. He's going to try and get round here right away.
216 00:14:35,200 00:14:38,397 And let them down gently. Don't ask me how. And let them down gently. Don't ask me how.
217 00:14:38,480 00:14:41,120 Some more holy water. Would you mind? Some more holy water. Would you mind?
218 00:14:41,200 00:14:42,270 No. No.
219 00:14:56,400 00:14:58,789 Faith is a powerful motivator, Mrs Meldrew. Faith is a powerful motivator, Mrs Meldrew.
220 00:14:58,880 00:15:01,394 It brings out the pilgrim in us all. It brings out the pilgrim in us all.
221 00:15:01,480 00:15:04,598 However you look at it, this is a most extraordinary occurrence. However you look at it, this is a most extraordinary occurrence.
222 00:15:04,680 00:15:07,513 Not so extraordinary in this house, I'm afraid. Not so extraordinary in this house, I'm afraid.
223 00:15:08,040 00:15:09,792 Rather more par for the course. Rather more par for the course.
224 00:15:09,880 00:15:14,033 Oh, dear. Sounds as if you might welcome a little spiritual comfort yourself, sometime. Oh, dear. Sounds as if you might welcome a little spiritual comfort yourself, sometime.
225 00:15:14,680 00:15:16,671 Sometime, very possibly. Sometime, very possibly.
226 00:15:21,320 00:15:22,958 GLYNIS: Margaret. GLYNIS: Margaret.
227 00:15:26,040 00:15:28,839 Oh, sorry, Glynis. Oh, sorry, Glynis.
228 00:15:29,440 00:15:32,319 —It's just... —I know. —It's just... —I know.
229 00:15:33,320 00:15:34,958 Steals up on you, Steals up on you,
230 00:15:36,120 00:15:38,031 like a knife in the ribs. like a knife in the ribs.
231 00:15:38,880 00:15:41,349 Ah, and it's so much worse for you. Ah, and it's so much worse for you.
232 00:15:42,080 00:15:43,878 I mean, with Michael, I mean, with Michael,
233 00:15:45,280 00:15:48,113 well, you're just trying to fight nature. well, you're just trying to fight nature.
234 00:15:48,960 00:15:50,917 But what happened to Victor... But what happened to Victor...
235 00:15:52,960 00:15:56,271 I don't know, Margaret, how you ever deal with that. I don't know, Margaret, how you ever deal with that.
236 00:15:57,520 00:15:59,193 Oh, I have a way. Oh, I have a way.
237 00:16:00,920 00:16:04,550 So, what were you saying earlier So, what were you saying earlier
238 00:16:04,680 00:16:06,830 about a hideous specimen? about a hideous specimen?
239 00:16:06,920 00:16:09,196 This from his friends at the zoo? This from his friends at the zoo?
240 00:16:09,280 00:16:12,238 Seventeen years, I think I told you, he worked there as a keeper. Seventeen years, I think I told you, he worked there as a keeper.
241 00:16:12,320 00:16:14,516 Fifteen, in the reptile house. Fifteen, in the reptile house.
242 00:16:14,600 00:16:18,389 Snakes, lizards, anything with scales, he could cope with. Snakes, lizards, anything with scales, he could cope with.
243 00:16:19,520 00:16:22,273 It was people always set his teeth on edge. It was people always set his teeth on edge.
244 00:16:22,360 00:16:23,759 I think I know the type. I think I know the type.
245 00:16:23,840 00:16:27,071 Last week, one of his favourite animals died. Last week, one of his favourite animals died.
246 00:16:29,440 00:16:33,638 They had it made into a coffee table and delivered to our house. They had it made into a coffee table and delivered to our house.
247 00:16:33,960 00:16:37,715 Somehow, I don't think, it would have made his day. Somehow, I don't think, it would have made his day.
248 00:16:37,880 00:16:39,439 I know. I know.
249 00:16:39,520 00:16:41,591 I was just starting to wonder with Victor, I was just starting to wonder with Victor,
250 00:16:41,680 00:16:45,116 how much torment one man can take in his life. how much torment one man can take in his life.
251 00:16:46,480 00:16:50,838 It's like the morning, we thought we'd go for a nice little drive to the market in Lanchester. It's like the morning, we thought we'd go for a nice little drive to the market in Lanchester.
252 00:16:50,920 00:16:52,274 Didn't quite work out? Didn't quite work out?
253 00:17:00,320 00:17:04,473 Well, at least that bag of medical instruments came in handy in the end. Well, at least that bag of medical instruments came in handy in the end.
254 00:17:04,560 00:17:06,756 I mean, what sort of brain disorder is it anyway, I mean, what sort of brain disorder is it anyway,
255 00:17:06,840 00:17:10,834 that makes someone want to stick their bare backside out of a car window that makes someone want to stick their bare backside out of a car window
256 00:17:10,920 00:17:12,752 at you in the first place. at you in the first place.
257 00:17:12,840 00:17:14,194 I don't know. I don't know.
258 00:17:14,280 00:17:16,874 But I don't suppose he'll be doing it again in a hurry. But I don't suppose he'll be doing it again in a hurry.
259 00:17:16,960 00:17:20,749 After you lobbed that hypodermic syringe into it like Eric Bristow. After you lobbed that hypodermic syringe into it like Eric Bristow.
260 00:17:22,560 00:17:24,995 He's lucky I didn't have a snooker cue. He's lucky I didn't have a snooker cue.
261 00:17:25,800 00:17:29,031 Anyway, it brought a bit of colour to his cheeks. Anyway, it brought a bit of colour to his cheeks.
262 00:17:30,240 00:17:33,153 Bad enough falling asleep in that park with that sun cream lotion on Bad enough falling asleep in that park with that sun cream lotion on
263 00:17:33,240 00:17:36,312 and getting a face full of grass cuttings. and getting a face full of grass cuttings.
264 00:17:36,400 00:17:39,677 Walking about like David Bellamy with greenfly. Walking about like David Bellamy with greenfly.
265 00:17:40,840 00:17:44,310 That couple took one look at me and fell out of their boat. That couple took one look at me and fell out of their boat.
266 00:17:44,400 00:17:49,520 Heaven knows what they thought, that I had some form of hideous skin disease. Heaven knows what they thought, that I had some form of hideous skin disease.
267 00:17:49,600 00:17:51,955 Oh, here we go again. Oh, here we go again.
268 00:17:52,040 00:17:56,398 Look, everywhere under the sun. Look at that. Look, everywhere under the sun. Look at that.
269 00:17:56,480 00:17:59,313 I wonder who this is from. Postmark Swansea. I wonder who this is from. Postmark Swansea.
270 00:17:59,520 00:18:03,434 Now, then. What time is that film on, that I want to record? Now, then. What time is that film on, that I want to record?
271 00:18:04,080 00:18:05,718 :15. :15.
272 00:18:06,280 00:18:10,274 That just gives me over an hour to open this packet of videos. That just gives me over an hour to open this packet of videos.
273 00:18:14,840 00:18:18,959 Oh, and why we ever thought it was a good idea to go and visit cousin Ivor... Oh, and why we ever thought it was a good idea to go and visit cousin Ivor...
274 00:18:19,360 00:18:22,478 I might've known he would just want to show off that new car of his. I might've known he would just want to show off that new car of his.
275 00:18:22,560 00:18:25,552 Made me feel that mine was just a heap of rust. Made me feel that mine was just a heap of rust.
276 00:18:26,760 00:18:29,752 Got me to look out of his electronic sun—roof and what happened? Got me to look out of his electronic sun—roof and what happened?
277 00:18:29,840 00:18:33,470 Ruddy panel jammed against my neck and I get stuck there. Ruddy panel jammed against my neck and I get stuck there.
278 00:18:34,680 00:18:39,675 I had to go all the way to the fire station with my head poking out the top like a ruddy tank turret. I had to go all the way to the fire station with my head poking out the top like a ruddy tank turret.
279 00:18:39,760 00:18:44,277 I know. I was there, if you recall. I know. I was there, if you recall.
280 00:18:44,440 00:18:46,431 Oh, look. This is interesting. Oh, look. This is interesting.
281 00:18:46,560 00:18:49,393 Do you remember Tom Jones who was on the milk with you? Do you remember Tom Jones who was on the milk with you?
282 00:18:49,480 00:18:52,393 Thirty odd years ago, when you both worked for Lea Valley Dairies. Thirty odd years ago, when you both worked for Lea Valley Dairies.
283 00:18:52,480 00:18:54,278 What's he died of? What's he died of?
284 00:18:54,920 00:18:58,117 Very much alive. He says it's the most amazing thing. Very much alive. He says it's the most amazing thing.
285 00:18:58,200 00:19:02,433 Next week they're holding a reunion in London for all the old gang. Next week they're holding a reunion in London for all the old gang.
286 00:19:02,520 00:19:06,150 And they've been desperately trying to get hold of you. And they've been desperately trying to get hold of you.
287 00:19:06,240 00:19:10,552 "As luck would have it, my daughter still sends the local paper every week "As luck would have it, my daughter still sends the local paper every week
288 00:19:10,640 00:19:13,712 "and that's where I saw the report of your miracle picture "and that's where I saw the report of your miracle picture
289 00:19:13,800 00:19:16,997 "which was a miracle in itself because I got straight on to the editor "which was a miracle in itself because I got straight on to the editor
290 00:19:17,080 00:19:18,798 "who gave me your address." "who gave me your address."
291 00:19:18,880 00:19:20,632 What sort of reunion? What sort of reunion?
292 00:19:20,720 00:19:22,950 Oh, you've got to 90, Victor. Oh, you've got to 90, Victor.
293 00:19:23,040 00:19:26,396 You'll be able to swap stories. Catch up with everyone. You'll be able to swap stories. Catch up with everyone.
294 00:19:26,480 00:19:30,155 They're all meeting up at a pub called The Strangers Rest They're all meeting up at a pub called The Strangers Rest
295 00:19:30,240 00:19:32,277 next Friday at 8:00. next Friday at 8:00.
296 00:19:32,520 00:19:34,716 Derek Baker, Bob Loft, Derek Baker, Bob Loft,
297 00:19:34,800 00:19:37,553 Limpy Briddock, Herbie Stranks... Limpy Briddock, Herbie Stranks...
298 00:19:37,640 00:19:39,836 There's a whole list of names here. There's a whole list of names here.
299 00:19:39,920 00:19:42,992 Limpy Briddock. My God. Limpy Briddock. My God.
300 00:19:43,760 00:19:46,274 He used to work up the dog track. He used to work up the dog track.
301 00:19:46,360 00:19:49,876 Until he got his shoelace caught in that electric hare. Until he got his shoelace caught in that electric hare.
302 00:19:52,480 00:19:55,199 Wonder what he's been up to over all these years. Wonder what he's been up to over all these years.
303 00:19:55,280 00:19:58,318 Well, go along on Friday, you'll find out. Well, go along on Friday, you'll find out.
304 00:19:58,400 00:20:00,630 It'll be just what you need. You'll see. It'll be just what you need. You'll see.
305 00:20:00,720 00:20:02,950 To take you out of yourself. To take you out of yourself.
306 00:20:06,280 00:20:08,794 FATHER BLAKEY: Let me get that one. FATHER BLAKEY: Let me get that one.
307 00:20:10,000 00:20:11,798 Oh, Morning. Oh, Morning.
308 00:20:12,040 00:20:14,839 -Are you well? —I'm fine, Mrs Meldrew. -Are you well? —I'm fine, Mrs Meldrew.
309 00:20:15,080 00:20:17,469 More importantly, how are you coping? More importantly, how are you coping?
310 00:20:17,560 00:20:19,949 How long is it now? It's four weeks? How long is it now? It's four weeks?
311 00:20:20,040 00:20:21,599 And three days. And three days.
312 00:20:23,160 00:20:26,391 Can I say, this is a very positive thing you've organised here. Can I say, this is a very positive thing you've organised here.
313 00:20:26,480 00:20:28,073 Cleaning up other people's filth? Cleaning up other people's filth?
314 00:20:28,160 00:20:30,436 Oh, yes. Gives me no end of pleasure. Oh, yes. Gives me no end of pleasure.
315 00:20:30,520 00:20:32,796 Victor used to say, it must be a certain kind of person Victor used to say, it must be a certain kind of person
316 00:20:32,880 00:20:36,475 that regards a lavatory in a toilet as an optional extra. that regards a lavatory in a toilet as an optional extra.
317 00:20:36,560 00:20:39,598 Yes, well, I've got another recruit for you this morning. Yes, well, I've got another recruit for you this morning.
318 00:20:39,680 00:20:41,830 Lady rang me up last night. Her name is Glynis. Lady rang me up last night. Her name is Glynis.
319 00:20:41,920 00:20:44,878 She lost her husband about a week after yourself. She lost her husband about a week after yourself.
320 00:20:44,960 00:20:46,712 He'd been very ill, I gather, for some time. He'd been very ill, I gather, for some time.
321 00:20:46,800 00:20:47,949 Morning. Morning.
322 00:20:48,040 00:20:50,714 Are you Margaret? Glynis Holloway. Are you Margaret? Glynis Holloway.
323 00:20:50,800 00:20:52,916 I just wondered if you could do with another pair of hands. I just wondered if you could do with another pair of hands.
324 00:20:53,000 00:20:55,150 Oh, definitely, the more the merrier. Oh, definitely, the more the merrier.
325 00:20:55,240 00:20:57,038 How about if I start with the vacuum cleaner. How about if I start with the vacuum cleaner.
326 00:20:58,040 00:20:59,030 Sorry? Sorry?
327 00:21:01,000 00:21:03,037 Oh, right. Oh, right.
328 00:21:04,360 00:21:07,512 —You sure you can manage? —Absolutely fine. —You sure you can manage? —Absolutely fine.
329 00:21:12,440 00:21:15,831 Mrs Meldrew, I know it must be very hard for you right now Mrs Meldrew, I know it must be very hard for you right now
330 00:21:15,920 00:21:18,639 to find any kind of purpose in the world. to find any kind of purpose in the world.
331 00:21:20,600 00:21:23,240 I think I see how it works, Father. I think I see how it works, Father.
332 00:21:23,320 00:21:26,233 We're all just characters, really, aren't we? We're all just characters, really, aren't we?
333 00:21:26,320 00:21:28,675 In a giant soap opera. In a giant soap opera.
334 00:21:28,760 00:21:32,913 One by one, God gets bored with us and decides to kill us off. One by one, God gets bored with us and decides to kill us off.
335 00:21:33,000 00:21:37,312 Victor Meldrew mown down by a hit and run driver on his way home from a party. Victor Meldrew mown down by a hit and run driver on his way home from a party.
336 00:21:38,280 00:21:40,556 Sounds depressingly plausible. Sounds depressingly plausible.
337 00:21:41,600 00:21:44,672 A party his wife practically begged him to go to. A party his wife practically begged him to go to.
338 00:21:44,760 00:21:46,512 Well, you... Well, you...
339 00:21:46,600 00:21:50,639 You can't go on torturing yourself for something that wasn't your fault. You can't go on torturing yourself for something that wasn't your fault.
340 00:21:50,720 00:21:55,157 Oh, I'm afraid I can do a lot of things, Father, if I want to. Oh, I'm afraid I can do a lot of things, Father, if I want to.
341 00:21:55,760 00:21:58,639 Torturing myself is the least of them. Torturing myself is the least of them.
342 00:21:59,600 00:22:05,391 You ask me how I'm coping. Shall I tell you exactly how I'm coping? You ask me how I'm coping. Shall I tell you exactly how I'm coping?
343 00:22:06,000 00:22:11,200 By clinging to the hope that one day they find the bastard who was at the wheel of that car By clinging to the hope that one day they find the bastard who was at the wheel of that car
344 00:22:11,280 00:22:15,558 because if they ever do, I swear to God, I'm going to kill him. because if they ever do, I swear to God, I'm going to kill him.
345 00:22:16,080 00:22:18,674 With my bare hands, if necessary. With my bare hands, if necessary.
346 00:22:19,240 00:22:21,709 Then they can do what they like with me. Then they can do what they like with me.
347 00:22:21,800 00:22:24,360 Trouble with the world nowadays, Trouble with the world nowadays,
348 00:22:24,440 00:22:28,638 nobody does anything about anything. nobody does anything about anything.
349 00:22:30,360 00:22:32,556 Victor tried, God knows. Victor tried, God knows.
350 00:22:32,640 00:22:34,677 And look where it got him. And look where it got him.
351 00:22:35,680 00:22:38,911 It's all speed and greed. It's all speed and greed.
352 00:22:40,800 00:22:43,235 And he's probably better out of it. And he's probably better out of it.
353 00:22:47,440 00:22:50,717 The pain is still raw, Mrs Meldrew. I can see that. The pain is still raw, Mrs Meldrew. I can see that.
354 00:22:51,120 00:22:54,954 And how can I say I wouldn't feel the same in your shoes, And how can I say I wouldn't feel the same in your shoes,
355 00:22:55,920 00:22:58,799 but the measure of our strength as human beings but the measure of our strength as human beings
356 00:22:58,880 00:23:01,110 is the goodness in our hearts. is the goodness in our hearts.
357 00:23:02,640 00:23:07,635 One day, as impossible as it seems right now, I pray that you'll find that strength. One day, as impossible as it seems right now, I pray that you'll find that strength.
358 00:23:09,120 00:23:10,872 Strength to forgive. Strength to forgive.
359 00:23:18,240 00:23:19,913 (BOARD CREAKING) (BOARD CREAKING)
360 00:23:28,360 00:23:30,795 (LOUD MUSIC AND CHATTERING) (LOUD MUSIC AND CHATTERING)
361 00:23:45,360 00:23:47,397 (INAUDIBLE) (INAUDIBLE)
362 00:25:45,240 00:25:48,073 I'd watch that chair, sir. It's a bit unreliable. I'd watch that chair, sir. It's a bit unreliable.
363 00:25:48,160 00:25:50,515 Are you here for the Lea Valley Dairies reunion? Are you here for the Lea Valley Dairies reunion?
364 00:25:50,600 00:25:55,959 Yes. I'm afraid I'm a bit on the late side, to be honest. Yes. I'm afraid I'm a bit on the late side, to be honest.
365 00:25:56,040 00:25:58,475 What with all the trains being up the creek and everything. But... What with all the trains being up the creek and everything. But...
366 00:25:58,560 00:26:01,154 Right, well, I've got a couple of messages for you here. Right, well, I've got a couple of messages for you here.
367 00:26:01,240 00:26:03,595 A Mr Tom Jones rang, A Mr Tom Jones rang,
368 00:26:03,680 00:26:08,038 to say unfortunately, there's been some heavy flooding up on the Welsh coast tonight. to say unfortunately, there's been some heavy flooding up on the Welsh coast tonight.
369 00:26:08,120 00:26:11,317 Apparently, a male voice choir was swept out to sea. Apparently, a male voice choir was swept out to sea.
370 00:26:11,560 00:26:14,234 —And the roads are all impassable, so... -Oh, what a shame. —And the roads are all impassable, so... -Oh, what a shame.
371 00:26:14,320 00:26:16,880 Herbert Stranks is stuck in traffic on the M6 Herbert Stranks is stuck in traffic on the M6
372 00:26:16,960 00:26:19,679 and doesn't think he'll be able to get here this side of Christmas. and doesn't think he'll be able to get here this side of Christmas.
373 00:26:19,760 00:26:23,469 Alex Bendricks is really sorry, but he's had to fly to Hamburg Alex Bendricks is really sorry, but he's had to fly to Hamburg
374 00:26:23,560 00:26:25,119 on business at the last minute. on business at the last minute.
375 00:26:25,200 00:26:29,512 And Bob Loft has decided it's too far to drive with his kidneys. And Bob Loft has decided it's too far to drive with his kidneys.
376 00:26:30,480 00:26:33,120 Right, I won't be seeing any of them this even... Right, I won't be seeing any of them this even...
377 00:26:33,200 00:26:36,875 Albert Triple joy has had to stay at home because his roof has collapsed. Albert Triple joy has had to stay at home because his roof has collapsed.
378 00:26:36,960 00:26:41,033 Walter Gook called to say his pacemaker's been recalled by the manufacturer Walter Gook called to say his pacemaker's been recalled by the manufacturer
379 00:26:41,120 00:26:43,873 due to a lethal design fault. due to a lethal design fault.
380 00:26:44,200 00:26:46,476 Mr Briddock. Limpy Briddock? Mr Briddock. Limpy Briddock?
381 00:26:47,200 00:26:51,194 Has had to work overtime, so he's not sure what time he'll be able to make it. Has had to work overtime, so he's not sure what time he'll be able to make it.
382 00:26:51,280 00:26:55,194 And this one Cheryl took down. I'm not sure I can read her writing. And this one Cheryl took down. I'm not sure I can read her writing.
383 00:26:55,280 00:26:57,351 Derek Baker, is it? Derek Baker, is it?
384 00:26:58,000 00:27:02,597 Has got to go and visit his daughter who's recovering from either a Caesarean section Has got to go and visit his daughter who's recovering from either a Caesarean section
385 00:27:02,680 00:27:04,353 or a Caesar salad. or a Caesar salad.
386 00:27:05,360 00:27:07,397 A bald transvestite. A bald transvestite.
387 00:27:07,560 00:27:10,234 Isn't that everybody who was supposed to be coming? Isn't that everybody who was supposed to be coming?
388 00:27:10,320 00:27:13,073 Hang on, sir. I'll just check for you. Hang on, sir. I'll just check for you.
389 00:27:13,160 00:27:14,514 Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
390 00:27:15,400 00:27:20,156 Dinner is served at 9:00, if you'd like to cast your eye over our menu there. Dinner is served at 9:00, if you'd like to cast your eye over our menu there.
391 00:27:20,480 00:27:23,040 —Or it could be blood transfusion. —Right. —Or it could be blood transfusion. —Right.
392 00:27:24,560 00:27:25,914 So, I suppose So, I suppose
393 00:27:26,000 00:27:30,039 Limpy Briddock might still show up if he can get away in time Limpy Briddock might still show up if he can get away in time
394 00:27:30,120 00:27:32,555 and I haven't seen him for 35 years. and I haven't seen him for 35 years.
395 00:27:32,640 00:27:36,235 Oh, yes, I'm sure he'll be here well in time for the cabaret, sir. Oh, yes, I'm sure he'll be here well in time for the cabaret, sir.
396 00:27:36,360 00:27:38,590 I expect... I expect...
397 00:27:38,680 00:27:40,353 Cabaret? Cabaret?
398 00:27:40,440 00:27:43,319 Okay, so just to get you in the mood Okay, so just to get you in the mood
399 00:27:43,400 00:27:48,270 and hopefully to stir a few of those lovely memories of times you've shared together, and hopefully to stir a few of those lovely memories of times you've shared together,
400 00:27:48,480 00:27:52,110 here are some sounds of the '605. here are some sounds of the '605.
401 00:27:55,160 00:27:58,596 # Purple haze was in my brain # Purple haze was in my brain
402 00:27:58,800 00:28:02,555 # Lately things don't seem the same # Lately things don't seem the same
403 00:28:03,000 00:28:06,630 # Acting funny, but I don't know why # Acting funny, but I don't know why
404 00:28:07,160 00:28:10,755 # Excuse me while I kiss the sky # Excuse me while I kiss the sky
405 00:28:14,520 00:28:18,514 # Well, God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son" # Well, God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son"
406 00:28:18,680 00:28:22,639 # Abe said, "Man, you must be putting me on" # Abe said, "Man, you must be putting me on"
407 00:28:22,760 00:28:24,592 # God said, "No" # God said, "No"
408 00:28:24,680 00:28:26,637 # Abe said, "What?" # Abe said, "What?"
409 00:28:26,720 00:28:30,600 # God said, "You can do what you want, Abe, but # God said, "You can do what you want, Abe, but
410 00:28:30,680 00:28:34,799 # "The next time you see me coming, you better run" # "The next time you see me coming, you better run"
411 00:28:38,640 00:28:42,110 # Well, Abe said, "Where do you want this killing done?" # Well, Abe said, "Where do you want this killing done?"
412 00:28:42,760 00:28:47,231 # God say, "Out on Highway 61" # # God say, "Out on Highway 61" #
413 00:29:23,920 00:29:25,558 —Thank you. —Thank you. Goodbye. —Thank you. —Thank you. Goodbye.
414 00:29:36,280 00:29:40,558 VICTOR: Yes. A complete and utter disaster as usual. VICTOR: Yes. A complete and utter disaster as usual.
415 00:29:40,640 00:29:44,918 Look, I don't want to miss the train. It's supposed to get in at 12:35, so... Look, I don't want to miss the train. It's supposed to get in at 12:35, so...
416 00:29:45,680 00:29:48,559 Alright. Yes, I'll see you then. Alright. Yes, I'll see you then.
417 00:29:51,120 00:29:53,919 No, no, no, of course it wasn't your fault. No, no, no, of course it wasn't your fault.
418 00:29:54,520 00:29:56,716 Anyway, it's over now, so... Anyway, it's over now, so...
419 00:29:57,040 00:29:59,316 Okay, bye. Okay, bye.
420 00:30:02,160 00:30:04,276 Things can only get better. Things can only get better.
421 00:30:04,560 00:30:05,959 "Dear Mrs Holloway, "Dear Mrs Holloway,
422 00:30:06,120 00:30:10,318 "last Monday morning, the oldest of our giant tortoises, Erasmus, "last Monday morning, the oldest of our giant tortoises, Erasmus,
423 00:30:10,400 00:30:12,960 "died, aged 119. "died, aged 119.
424 00:30:14,200 00:30:18,478 "Knowing how fond of him Michael was, we have put together this small keepsake "Knowing how fond of him Michael was, we have put together this small keepsake
425 00:30:19,280 00:30:20,793 "for you in the workshop. "for you in the workshop.
426 00:30:20,880 00:30:24,475 "The inside being fully scraped out and sealed with resin. "The inside being fully scraped out and sealed with resin.
427 00:30:24,640 00:30:27,359 "So, you can use it to store napkins "So, you can use it to store napkins
428 00:30:27,600 00:30:30,353 "or maybe just grow some form of trailing plant." "or maybe just grow some form of trailing plant."
429 00:30:31,280 00:30:34,352 Do you know, I have never met anyone else in my life Do you know, I have never met anyone else in my life
430 00:30:34,440 00:30:36,192 who goes through all this. who goes through all this.
431 00:30:36,280 00:30:38,317 How on earth did it happen, Glynis? How on earth did it happen, Glynis?
432 00:30:38,400 00:30:41,233 In the middle of hell, how did we manage to find each other? In the middle of hell, how did we manage to find each other?
433 00:30:41,560 00:30:43,790 If we're talking about miracles... If we're talking about miracles...
434 00:30:45,240 00:30:47,516 What? What is it? Is it another migraine? What? What is it? Is it another migraine?
435 00:30:47,680 00:30:51,310 Oh, it'll pass if I just rest my eyes for a bit. Oh, it'll pass if I just rest my eyes for a bit.
436 00:30:51,400 00:30:53,198 Yes, or more likely get worse. Yes, or more likely get worse.
437 00:30:53,880 00:30:55,917 Let me get you some Paracetamol or something. Let me get you some Paracetamol or something.
438 00:30:56,000 00:30:58,355 I could murder some more of that fruit juice. I could murder some more of that fruit juice.
439 00:33:06,800 00:33:08,120 Oh, that's lovely. Oh, that's lovely.
440 00:33:08,640 00:33:09,630 Thanks. Thanks.
441 00:33:18,600 00:33:20,034 Oh, dear God. Oh, dear God.
442 00:33:24,040 00:33:25,474 Oh, Margaret. Oh, Margaret.
443 00:33:26,240 00:33:27,514 Margaret. Margaret.
444 00:33:33,440 00:33:34,953 What can I say? What can I say?
445 00:33:37,160 00:33:39,720 What can I possibly say? What can I possibly say?
446 00:33:44,400 00:33:46,073 I was driving too fast. I was driving too fast.
447 00:33:47,560 00:33:49,198 Of course I was. Of course I was.
448 00:33:51,960 00:33:54,429 The hospital had rung up that night The hospital had rung up that night
449 00:33:58,360 00:34:01,000 to say that Michael might not... to say that Michael might not...
450 00:34:04,600 00:34:06,079 And I was just... And I was just...
451 00:34:08,880 00:34:11,156 I mean, I should never have been on the road. I mean, I should never have been on the road.
452 00:34:20,160 00:34:21,195 I pulled up. I pulled up.
453 00:34:21,760 00:34:23,751 I swear. I swear.
454 00:34:24,560 00:34:28,599 I would've gone back, if I hadn't seen your car coming. I would've gone back, if I hadn't seen your car coming.
455 00:34:33,160 00:34:34,753 What could I do? What could I do?
456 00:34:35,640 00:34:37,517 I mean, by that time... I mean, by that time...
457 00:34:39,440 00:34:41,351 What could I have done? What could I have done?
458 00:34:49,120 00:34:53,398 And to have to live with all that on top of losing Michael. And to have to live with all that on top of losing Michael.
459 00:35:13,040 00:35:15,714 "Tomorrow, I'll tell her." "Tomorrow, I'll tell her."
460 00:35:17,840 00:35:21,310 Every night, I have prayed to God for the strength, but... Every night, I have prayed to God for the strength, but...
461 00:35:30,840 00:35:32,433 I had to find you. I had to find you.
462 00:35:33,720 00:35:37,031 You might have needed help, money, You might have needed help, money,
463 00:35:37,880 00:35:39,598 shoulder to cry on. shoulder to cry on.
464 00:35:42,600 00:35:43,749 Maybe, Maybe,
465 00:35:45,120 00:35:46,599 just a friend. just a friend.
466 00:35:53,560 00:35:54,709 I am so sorry. I am so sorry.
467 00:37:05,280 00:37:08,636 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
468 00:37:08,720 00:37:10,711 # Riding around in the breeze # Riding around in the breeze
469 00:37:10,800 00:37:14,236 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
470 00:37:14,320 00:37:16,072 # If you live the life you please # If you live the life you please
471 00:37:16,160 00:37:20,119 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
472 00:37:20,200 00:37:21,873 # Doing the best you can # Doing the best you can
473 00:37:21,960 00:37:25,555 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
474 00:37:25,720 00:37:27,950 # As long as you lend a hand # As long as you lend a hand
475 00:37:30,400 00:37:34,280 # You can sit around and wait for the phone to ring # You can sit around and wait for the phone to ring
476 00:37:36,040 00:37:39,749 # Waiting for someone to tell you everything # Waiting for someone to tell you everything
477 00:37:41,800 00:37:45,111 # Sit around and wonder what tomorrow will bring # Sit around and wonder what tomorrow will bring
478 00:37:46,560 00:37:48,676 # Maybe a diamond ring # Maybe a diamond ring
479 00:37:49,640 00:37:52,917 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
480 00:37:53,000 00:37:54,718 # Even if they say you're wrong # Even if they say you're wrong
481 00:37:54,800 00:37:58,589 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
482 00:37:58,680 00:38:01,035 # Sometimes you gotta be strong # Sometimes you gotta be strong
483 00:38:01,120 00:38:04,238 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
484 00:38:04,320 00:38:06,152 # As long as you got somewhere to lay # As long as you got somewhere to lay
485 00:38:06,240 00:38:10,074 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
486 00:38:10,160 00:38:12,356 # Everyday is judgment Day # Everyday is judgment Day
487 00:38:15,240 00:38:18,039 # Maybe somewhere down the road aways # Maybe somewhere down the road aways
488 00:38:20,400 00:38:24,075 # You'll think of me and wonder where I am these days # You'll think of me and wonder where I am these days
489 00:38:26,160 00:38:30,074 # Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays # Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays
490 00:38:31,720 00:38:34,360 # Purple haze # Purple haze
491 00:38:34,560 00:38:37,200 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
492 00:38:37,280 00:38:39,669 # Even when push comes to shove # Even when push comes to shove
493 00:38:39,760 00:38:42,957 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
494 00:38:43,040 00:38:45,156 # If you got someone to love # If you got someone to love
495 00:38:45,240 00:38:48,710 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
496 00:38:48,800 00:38:50,996 # Everything 'll work out fine # Everything 'll work out fine
497 00:38:51,080 00:38:54,391 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
498 00:38:54,480 00:38:56,994 # We're going to the end of the line # We're going to the end of the line
499 00:38:59,400 00:39:03,109 # Don't have to be ashamed of the car I drive # Don't have to be ashamed of the car I drive
500 00:39:04,680 00:39:08,719 # I'm just glad to be here, happy to be alive # I'm just glad to be here, happy to be alive
501 00:39:11,040 00:39:14,635 # It don't matter if you're by my side # It don't matter if you're by my side
502 00:39:15,920 00:39:18,434 # I'm satisfied # I'm satisfied
503 00:39:18,520 00:39:21,672 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
504 00:39:21,760 00:39:23,558 # Even if you're old and grey # Even if you're old and grey
505 00:39:23,640 00:39:27,395 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
506 00:39:27,480 00:39:29,949 # You still got something to say # You still got something to say
507 00:39:30,040 00:39:33,158 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
508 00:39:33,240 00:39:34,992 # Remember to live and let live # Remember to live and let live
509 00:39:35,080 00:39:39,074 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
510 00:39:39,160 00:39:41,197 # The best you can do is forgive # The best you can do is forgive
511 00:39:41,280 00:39:44,750 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
512 00:39:44,840 00:39:46,558 # Riding around in the breeze # Riding around in the breeze
513 00:39:46,640 00:39:50,554 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
514 00:39:50,640 00:39:52,756 # If you live the life you please # If you live the life you please
515 00:39:52,840 00:39:56,276 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
516 00:39:56,360 00:39:58,112 # Even if the sun don't shine # Even if the sun don't shine
517 00:39:58,200 00:40:02,114 # Well it's all right # Well it's all right
518 00:40:02,200 00:40:05,079 # We're going to the end of the line # # We're going to the end of the line #