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1 | 00:00:02,520 | 00:00:05,672 | # They say I might as well face the truth | # They say I might as well face the truth |
2 | 00:00:06,120 | 00:00:09,078 | # That I am just too long in the tooth? | # That I am just too long in the tooth? |
3 | 00:00:09,600 | 00:00:12,513 | # So I'm an CAP and weak-knead | # So I'm an CAP and weak-knead |
4 | 00:00:13,040 | 00:00:16,078 | # But I have not yet quite gone to seed | # But I have not yet quite gone to seed |
5 | 00:00:16,480 | 00:00:20,553 | # I may be over the hill now that I have retired | # I may be over the hill now that I have retired |
6 | 00:00:20,640 | 00:00:23,996 | # Fading away but I've not yet expired | # Fading away but I've not yet expired |
7 | 00:00:24,080 | 00:00:27,391 | # clapped out, run down, too old to save | # clapped out, run down, too old to save |
8 | 00:00:27,760 | 00:00:30,115 | # One foot in the grave # | # One foot in the grave # |
9 | 00:00:51,640 | 00:00:53,472 | (SIGHING LOUDLY) | (SIGHING LOUDLY) |
10 | 00:00:58,800 | 00:01:00,632 | Oh, hello. | Oh, hello. |
11 | 00:01:00,720 | 00:01:02,870 | Yes, speaking. | Yes, speaking. |
12 | 00:01:03,640 | 00:01:05,551 | No, no. | No, no. |
13 | 00:01:05,920 | 00:01:08,673 | I've enjoyed listening to the complete works of Rachmaninoff through a plimsoll. | I've enjoyed listening to the complete works of Rachmaninoff through a plimsoll. |
14 | 00:01:08,760 | 00:01:11,195 | It's brightened my day, no end. | It's brightened my day, no end. |
15 | 00:01:12,960 | 00:01:14,314 | Never mind. | Never mind. |
16 | 00:01:16,160 | 00:01:20,597 | Well, it's about this private prosecution you're proposing to take out on my husband | Well, it's about this private prosecution you're proposing to take out on my husband |
17 | 00:01:20,680 | 00:01:25,072 | for an unprovoked physical assault on the 14th of June, this year. | for an unprovoked physical assault on the 14th of June, this year. |
18 | 00:01:25,160 | 00:01:30,599 | To wit, the forcible insertion of a hypodermic syringe into our client's bottom, | To wit, the forcible insertion of a hypodermic syringe into our client's bottom, |
19 | 00:01:31,800 | 00:01:34,155 | occasioning him actual bodily harm. | occasioning him actual bodily harm. |
20 | 00:01:36,040 | 00:01:37,269 | Firstly, | Firstly, |
21 | 00:01:37,720 | 00:01:43,636 | I have to say, I'm amazed how long it's taken you to scrape some kind of case together on this one. | I have to say, I'm amazed how long it's taken you to scrape some kind of case together on this one. |
22 | 00:01:44,040 | 00:01:45,269 | Secondly, | Secondly, |
23 | 00:01:45,360 | 00:01:48,591 | since your client's bottom was being thrust out of a car window | since your client's bottom was being thrust out of a car window |
24 | 00:01:48,680 | 00:01:51,877 | at the time the attack took place, I'd hardly call it unprovoked. | at the time the attack took place, I'd hardly call it unprovoked. |
25 | 00:01:52,520 | 00:01:53,954 | And thirdly, | And thirdly, |
26 | 00:01:54,040 | 00:01:58,034 | as my husband's now been dead for five months, I'd say your chances of getting a conviction | as my husband's now been dead for five months, I'd say your chances of getting a conviction |
27 | 00:01:58,120 | 00:02:00,111 | are not especially high. | are not especially high. |
28 | 00:02:02,160 | 00:02:04,436 | Oh, yes, I most certainly am. | Oh, yes, I most certainly am. |
29 | 00:02:05,160 | 00:02:06,912 | Entirely serious. | Entirely serious. |
30 | 00:02:08,200 | 00:02:11,511 | And if you want to go raking up evidence | And if you want to go raking up evidence |
31 | 00:02:11,600 | 00:02:15,878 | why don't you try finding the piece of scum who sent him flying into the gutter that night | why don't you try finding the piece of scum who sent him flying into the gutter that night |
32 | 00:02:16,000 | 00:02:18,594 | without so much as stopping to see... | without so much as stopping to see... |
33 | 00:02:23,360 | 00:02:25,397 | If you would please, yes. | If you would please, yes. |
34 | 00:02:26,360 | 00:02:27,919 | In the meantime, | In the meantime, |
35 | 00:02:28,000 | 00:02:32,278 | I can just file this away, can I, with all my other legal correspondence. | I can just file this away, can I, with all my other legal correspondence. |
36 | 00:02:32,360 | 00:02:33,680 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
37 | 00:02:40,400 | 00:02:41,720 | Now, then. | Now, then. |
38 | 00:02:42,600 | 00:02:43,999 | What's next? | What's next? |
39 | 00:02:44,280 | 00:02:45,998 | (DOORBELL RINGING) | (DOORBELL RINGING) |
40 | 00:02:47,120 | 00:02:49,031 | Oh, yes. | Oh, yes. |
41 | 00:02:54,680 | 00:02:57,320 | Mr Gundry, do please come in. | Mr Gundry, do please come in. |
42 | 00:03:01,720 | 00:03:05,236 | Mrs Meldrew, how is it? You sounded rather agitated on the phone. | Mrs Meldrew, how is it? You sounded rather agitated on the phone. |
43 | 00:03:05,320 | 00:03:07,960 | Yes, and it's hardly surprising, is it? | Yes, and it's hardly surprising, is it? |
44 | 00:03:08,040 | 00:03:10,111 | The money this is costing me | The money this is costing me |
45 | 00:03:10,200 | 00:03:13,352 | for what I hoped would be a precious | for what I hoped would be a precious |
46 | 00:03:13,440 | 00:03:16,034 | and lasting memorial to my marriage. | and lasting memorial to my marriage. |
47 | 00:03:21,720 | 00:03:25,270 | We did agree on the composition, with you, very slightly foreground... | We did agree on the composition, with you, very slightly foreground... |
48 | 00:03:25,360 | 00:03:27,556 | I'm not talking about the composition. | I'm not talking about the composition. |
49 | 00:03:27,640 | 00:03:29,551 | I'm talking about this. | I'm talking about this. |
50 | 00:03:30,960 | 00:03:34,635 | How many photograph albums did I give you to work from? | How many photograph albums did I give you to work from? |
51 | 00:03:34,720 | 00:03:38,873 | —I'm sorry, I don't quite... —It's Alastair Sim, isn't it? | —I'm sorry, I don't quite... —It's Alastair Sim, isn't it? |
52 | 00:03:42,920 | 00:03:45,878 | Alastair Sim? No, no, no, no, no. | Alastair Sim? No, no, no, no, no. |
53 | 00:03:47,320 | 00:03:49,152 | Do you think? | Do you think? |
54 | 00:03:49,240 | 00:03:53,029 | I don't know why you didn't just put him in drag as the headmistress of St Trinians | I don't know why you didn't just put him in drag as the headmistress of St Trinians |
55 | 00:03:53,120 | 00:03:54,394 | and have done with it. | and have done with it. |
56 | 00:03:54,480 | 00:03:58,792 | No, no. I'm afraid I'll have to take issue with you on that, Mrs Meldrew. | No, no. I'm afraid I'll have to take issue with you on that, Mrs Meldrew. |
57 | 00:03:58,880 | 00:04:03,238 | I mean, Alastair Sim had a much more rascally quality, which was quite different. | I mean, Alastair Sim had a much more rascally quality, which was quite different. |
58 | 00:04:03,320 | 00:04:06,278 | The sort of parts that would now be played by a Bob Hoskins | The sort of parts that would now be played by a Bob Hoskins |
59 | 00:04:06,360 | 00:04:09,273 | or a Freddie Jones, if one thinks of him, | or a Freddie Jones, if one thinks of him, |
60 | 00:04:09,360 | 00:04:12,273 | for example, as Professor Potter in the 567500!" for Scoundrels, | for example, as Professor Potter in the 567500!" for Scoundrels, |
61 | 00:04:12,360 | 00:04:16,718 | Look, I don't want a bloody debate about his film career. | Look, I don't want a bloody debate about his film career. |
62 | 00:04:16,800 | 00:04:21,749 | All I'm saying is, this is not the man I shared 38 years of my life with. | All I'm saying is, this is not the man I shared 38 years of my life with. |
63 | 00:04:22,400 | 00:04:26,109 | And it's not going on my wall looking like that. | And it's not going on my wall looking like that. |
64 | 00:04:26,200 | 00:04:30,717 | So, you can just have another 90, Mr Gundry, | So, you can just have another 90, Mr Gundry, |
65 | 00:04:30,800 | 00:04:32,677 | before I go totally witless. | before I go totally witless. |
66 | 00:04:37,200 | 00:04:39,589 | Oh, Glynis, you're early. | Oh, Glynis, you're early. |
67 | 00:04:39,680 | 00:04:42,240 | Or am I late? Oh, heck! | Or am I late? Oh, heck! |
68 | 00:04:42,440 | 00:04:44,954 | It's okay. Don't panic. | It's okay. Don't panic. |
69 | 00:04:46,280 | 00:04:49,432 | I booked a table for 1:30 but they're very easy at that place. | I booked a table for 1:30 but they're very easy at that place. |
70 | 00:04:49,520 | 00:04:51,750 | Have I missed all the fun and games? | Have I missed all the fun and games? |
71 | 00:04:51,840 | 00:04:53,433 | Oh, don't. | Oh, don't. |
72 | 00:04:53,520 | 00:04:55,636 | You talk about taking over the baton. | You talk about taking over the baton. |
73 | 00:04:55,720 | 00:04:58,758 | Listen, I've just about had a week of it myself. | Listen, I've just about had a week of it myself. |
74 | 00:04:58,840 | 00:05:03,835 | What with Michael's old chum sending me that hideous specimen yesterday morning. | What with Michael's old chum sending me that hideous specimen yesterday morning. |
75 | 00:05:03,920 | 00:05:05,752 | Oh, dear, what's this? | Oh, dear, what's this? |
76 | 00:05:05,840 | 00:05:09,071 | Best left till we're on our coffees, I think. | Best left till we're on our coffees, I think. |
77 | 00:05:09,160 | 00:05:12,676 | I don't know. The problems just don't seem to go away these days, do they? | I don't know. The problems just don't seem to go away these days, do they? |
78 | 00:05:12,760 | 00:05:14,159 | Oh... | Oh... |
79 | 00:05:15,200 | 00:05:17,396 | But then, they never did. | But then, they never did. |
80 | 00:05:18,520 | 00:05:20,431 | VICTOR: Unbelievable! | VICTOR: Unbelievable! |
81 | 00:05:22,560 | 00:05:26,758 | I sometimes think the entire human race has gone completely daffy. | I sometimes think the entire human race has gone completely daffy. |
82 | 00:05:27,640 | 00:05:30,519 | Do you know what they were doing up there at the supermarket | Do you know what they were doing up there at the supermarket |
83 | 00:05:30,600 | 00:05:32,876 | when I called in for your cauliflower? | when I called in for your cauliflower? |
84 | 00:05:32,960 | 00:05:36,669 | Only filming a bloody Christmas commercial for television. | Only filming a bloody Christmas commercial for television. |
85 | 00:05:37,480 | 00:05:39,437 | In the middle of June. | In the middle of June. |
86 | 00:05:40,680 | 00:05:45,356 | Ruddy Santa's elves dancing about and God knows what—not. | Ruddy Santa's elves dancing about and God knows what—not. |
87 | 00:05:45,960 | 00:05:48,759 | They had the whole car park covered in shredded paper | They had the whole car park covered in shredded paper |
88 | 00:05:48,840 | 00:05:53,198 | blowing it about here, there and everywhere to look as if it's snowing. | blowing it about here, there and everywhere to look as if it's snowing. |
89 | 00:05:54,000 | 00:05:55,513 | Look at that. | Look at that. |
90 | 00:05:56,600 | 00:05:59,274 | I hate to think where else it's got to. | I hate to think where else it's got to. |
91 | 00:06:00,600 | 00:06:03,831 | Right up my exhaust, I bet a pound to a penny. | Right up my exhaust, I bet a pound to a penny. |
92 | 00:06:06,600 | 00:06:08,830 | Where did that come from? | Where did that come from? |
93 | 00:06:08,920 | 00:06:11,196 | Oh, it's one Mum did ages ago. | Oh, it's one Mum did ages ago. |
94 | 00:06:12,240 | 00:06:16,871 | Apart from a couple of little rips, it's still in pretty good nick. | Apart from a couple of little rips, it's still in pretty good nick. |
95 | 00:06:16,960 | 00:06:19,600 | I thought I might put an advert in the local. | I thought I might put an advert in the local. |
96 | 00:06:19,680 | 00:06:23,594 | Let's see if there's someone out there who wants to give it a good ho... Oh! | Let's see if there's someone out there who wants to give it a good ho... Oh! |
97 | 00:06:23,680 | 00:06:27,355 | You haven't been to that car boot again? | You haven't been to that car boot again? |
98 | 00:06:27,440 | 00:06:30,319 | What is the point of my having a good clear out | What is the point of my having a good clear out |
99 | 00:06:30,400 | 00:06:33,233 | when you bring back all this junk? | when you bring back all this junk? |
100 | 00:06:36,400 | 00:06:40,189 | You know what I managed to get hold of? Do you remember old Dr Spicer, | You know what I managed to get hold of? Do you remember old Dr Spicer, |
101 | 00:06:40,280 | 00:06:42,954 | dropped dead last year at the Texaco filling station? | dropped dead last year at the Texaco filling station? |
102 | 00:06:43,080 | 00:06:47,551 | Oh, and someone tried to give him the kiss of life with the free air pump. | Oh, and someone tried to give him the kiss of life with the free air pump. |
103 | 00:06:48,320 | 00:06:50,630 | Oh, you're joking. | Oh, you're joking. |
104 | 00:06:51,680 | 00:06:55,913 | Twenty quid was all his daughter wanted for the full bag of tricks. | Twenty quid was all his daughter wanted for the full bag of tricks. |
105 | 00:06:56,000 | 00:06:58,799 | Even got one of those things for testing your blood pressure. | Even got one of those things for testing your blood pressure. |
106 | 00:06:58,880 | 00:07:01,156 | You test my blood pressure. | You test my blood pressure. |
107 | 00:07:03,720 | 00:07:06,360 | I suppose this is going to be the new obsession now, is it? | I suppose this is going to be the new obsession now, is it? |
108 | 00:07:06,440 | 00:07:08,431 | —Sorry? —Ever since you picked up that leaflet | —Sorry? —Ever since you picked up that leaflet |
109 | 00:07:08,520 | 00:07:11,194 | in the post office about heart disease. | in the post office about heart disease. |
110 | 00:07:18,360 | 00:07:19,714 | Nothing. | Nothing. |
111 | 00:07:21,320 | 00:07:22,799 | What does that mean? | What does that mean? |
112 | 00:07:22,880 | 00:07:25,952 | I'm either dead or deaf. | I'm either dead or deaf. |
113 | 00:07:26,040 | 00:07:29,112 | I haven't got much longer for this world, I can tell you that much. | I haven't got much longer for this world, I can tell you that much. |
114 | 00:07:29,200 | 00:07:34,673 | Excuse me. Which one of us actually suffered a coronary last year? I seem to have forgotten. | Excuse me. Which one of us actually suffered a coronary last year? I seem to have forgotten. |
115 | 00:07:35,520 | 00:07:38,717 | Isn't that district nurse of yours coming round this afternoon? | Isn't that district nurse of yours coming round this afternoon? |
116 | 00:07:38,800 | 00:07:40,711 | Ah, she'll give me a quick check. | Ah, she'll give me a quick check. |
117 | 00:07:40,920 | 00:07:43,639 | Just to make sure I'm still ticking over at any rate. | Just to make sure I'm still ticking over at any rate. |
118 | 00:07:43,840 | 00:07:44,830 | We'll see. | We'll see. |
119 | 00:07:46,000 | 00:07:49,118 | How far up's a rectal thermometer meant to go? | How far up's a rectal thermometer meant to go? |
120 | 00:07:50,680 | 00:07:51,829 | What? | What? |
121 | 00:07:54,520 | 00:07:58,115 | 106, this one says. That should be enough. | 106, this one says. That should be enough. |
122 | 00:07:59,560 | 00:08:02,473 | I feel as if I'm burning up to high heaven. | I feel as if I'm burning up to high heaven. |
123 | 00:08:07,640 | 00:08:09,597 | Then we're fine again, then, Mrs Meldrew. | Then we're fine again, then, Mrs Meldrew. |
124 | 00:08:09,680 | 00:08:11,193 | I shan't need to see you again now until... | I shan't need to see you again now until... |
125 | 00:08:11,280 | 00:08:12,350 | (MOBILE PHONE RINGING) | (MOBILE PHONE RINGING) |
126 | 00:08:12,440 | 00:08:14,351 | —Should we say, the 10th of August? —Yes, that's fine. | —Should we say, the 10th of August? —Yes, that's fine. |
127 | 00:08:14,440 | 00:08:17,353 | Excuse us, that'll probably be my nanny. | Excuse us, that'll probably be my nanny. |
128 | 00:08:17,440 | 00:08:19,158 | Hello. | Hello. |
129 | 00:08:19,240 | 00:08:21,880 | Hi, Rachel, what's the prob... | Hi, Rachel, what's the prob... |
130 | 00:08:21,960 | 00:08:24,759 | Oh, really, when did he ring? | Oh, really, when did he ring? |
131 | 00:08:24,840 | 00:08:28,276 | Excuse me, it's a query from my accountant about something. Would you mind if I just...? | Excuse me, it's a query from my accountant about something. Would you mind if I just...? |
132 | 00:08:28,360 | 00:08:32,354 | No, no. I've got to get this stuff out to the dustman, anyway. | No, no. I've got to get this stuff out to the dustman, anyway. |
133 | 00:08:32,440 | 00:08:35,671 | Oh, yes. Well, it's probably on the January bank statement | Oh, yes. Well, it's probably on the January bank statement |
134 | 00:08:35,760 | 00:08:37,797 | which is either in that letter rack | which is either in that letter rack |
135 | 00:08:37,880 | 00:08:40,235 | or on the desk in my bedroom. | or on the desk in my bedroom. |
136 | 00:08:40,400 | 00:08:41,720 | Could you? | Could you? |
137 | 00:08:42,800 | 00:08:44,552 | Mr Meldrew, are you well? | Mr Meldrew, are you well? |
138 | 00:08:44,640 | 00:08:47,473 | Ah, well, I'm hoping so. | Ah, well, I'm hoping so. |
139 | 00:08:47,560 | 00:08:50,518 | I don't know if my wife has said anything to you about my... | I don't know if my wife has said anything to you about my... |
140 | 00:08:50,600 | 00:08:53,877 | Oh, yes. You were a bit concerned about your fitness level. | Oh, yes. You were a bit concerned about your fitness level. |
141 | 00:08:53,960 | 00:08:58,193 | Okay, how long would it take you to just race upstairs, do you think? | Okay, how long would it take you to just race upstairs, do you think? |
142 | 00:09:00,280 | 00:09:02,556 | Yes, I think I can manage that. | Yes, I think I can manage that. |
143 | 00:09:08,720 | 00:09:13,715 | That's about right. Now, if you could very quickly run down it for me then, please. | That's about right. Now, if you could very quickly run down it for me then, please. |
144 | 00:09:17,560 | 00:09:19,676 | Sorry, can you repeat that? | Sorry, can you repeat that? |
145 | 00:09:25,520 | 00:09:27,193 | Yeah, keep going. | Yeah, keep going. |
146 | 00:09:30,320 | 00:09:31,674 | Keep going. | Keep going. |
147 | 00:09:35,920 | 00:09:39,311 | Okay, then. Just try skipping to the bottom. | Okay, then. Just try skipping to the bottom. |
148 | 00:09:39,720 | 00:09:41,518 | (THUMPING ON STAIRS) | (THUMPING ON STAIRS) |
149 | 00:09:43,680 | 00:09:46,911 | Ah, stop there. That's what we want, er... | Ah, stop there. That's what we want, er... |
150 | 00:09:47,520 | 00:09:49,431 | Now, you've gone a bit faint. | Now, you've gone a bit faint. |
151 | 00:09:49,520 | 00:09:51,272 | Yes, just a little. | Yes, just a little. |
152 | 00:09:53,400 | 00:09:56,438 | No, no, I just wanted to check the balance. | No, no, I just wanted to check the balance. |
153 | 00:10:01,640 | 00:10:04,359 | Yep, yep, that's fine. | Yep, yep, that's fine. |
154 | 00:10:05,840 | 00:10:09,993 | If you could very quickly get that off for me, that would be lovely. | If you could very quickly get that off for me, that would be lovely. |
155 | 00:10:13,240 | 00:10:17,279 | Oh, how's the little fellow, by the way? Not playing up at all? | Oh, how's the little fellow, by the way? Not playing up at all? |
156 | 00:10:21,280 | 00:10:23,635 | Is that something else I've got to worry about? | Is that something else I've got to worry about? |
157 | 00:10:23,840 | 00:10:27,674 | No, just stick a first class stamp on it, that'll be fine. | No, just stick a first class stamp on it, that'll be fine. |
158 | 00:10:27,880 | 00:10:29,757 | —\/\/hat? —Bye. | —\/\/hat? —Bye. |
159 | 00:10:31,120 | 00:10:33,680 | Oh, Mr Meldrew. | Oh, Mr Meldrew. |
160 | 00:10:34,520 | 00:10:38,912 | We were saying. Have you thought about taking up jogging at all? | We were saying. Have you thought about taking up jogging at all? |
161 | 00:10:42,920 | 00:10:45,594 | My legs are all seizing up now. | My legs are all seizing up now. |
162 | 00:10:46,400 | 00:10:50,837 | I knew that would happen if I went for that run in the park this evening. | I knew that would happen if I went for that run in the park this evening. |
163 | 00:10:50,920 | 00:10:52,149 | Bloody woman. | Bloody woman. |
164 | 00:10:52,240 | 00:10:54,754 | Should've never listened to her in the first place. | Should've never listened to her in the first place. |
165 | 00:10:54,840 | 00:10:57,480 | MARGARET: You're just not used to the exercise. | MARGARET: You're just not used to the exercise. |
166 | 00:10:57,560 | 00:11:00,279 | I mean, that did my confidence a lot of good, didn't it? | I mean, that did my confidence a lot of good, didn't it? |
167 | 00:11:00,360 | 00:11:03,352 | Being lapped by an over—805 fitness class. | Being lapped by an over—805 fitness class. |
168 | 00:11:04,880 | 00:11:08,475 | Artificial hips clacking away as they went past. | Artificial hips clacking away as they went past. |
169 | 00:11:11,000 | 00:11:14,994 | Bought a drink to cool off and some tramp chucked 50p in my cup. | Bought a drink to cool off and some tramp chucked 50p in my cup. |
170 | 00:11:16,600 | 00:11:18,910 | I mean, what's the point? | I mean, what's the point? |
171 | 00:11:19,000 | 00:11:21,389 | I suppose we've all got to go sometime. | I suppose we've all got to go sometime. |
172 | 00:11:21,480 | 00:11:23,517 | MARGARET: Where, exactly? | MARGARET: Where, exactly? |
173 | 00:11:23,600 | 00:11:24,670 | What do you mean? | What do you mean? |
174 | 00:11:24,760 | 00:11:27,878 | Apparently, old Mrs Gantwood down on the corner | Apparently, old Mrs Gantwood down on the corner |
175 | 00:11:27,960 | 00:11:32,591 | has asked the hospital now if they can just let her husband die with dignity. | has asked the hospital now if they can just let her husband die with dignity. |
176 | 00:11:33,400 | 00:11:36,995 | But he only went in for a cataract operation, didn't he? | But he only went in for a cataract operation, didn't he? |
177 | 00:11:37,080 | 00:11:40,630 | I know, I think she's pushing her luck a bit there, to be honest. | I know, I think she's pushing her luck a bit there, to be honest. |
178 | 00:11:42,640 | 00:11:44,870 | Oh, Victor. | Oh, Victor. |
179 | 00:11:44,960 | 00:11:49,318 | Put that ruddy thing away. You know you haven't got a clue how it works. | Put that ruddy thing away. You know you haven't got a clue how it works. |
180 | 00:11:50,880 | 00:11:52,279 | (HISSING) | (HISSING) |
181 | 00:11:53,240 | 00:11:55,800 | Oh, it's got a ruddy puncture now. | Oh, it's got a ruddy puncture now. |
182 | 00:11:56,320 | 00:11:58,072 | How did that happen? | How did that happen? |
183 | 00:12:00,880 | 00:12:03,110 | Can I smell onions frying? | Can I smell onions frying? |
184 | 00:12:10,520 | 00:12:14,593 | Oh, there's a man there on the corner, setting up a hot dog stand. | Oh, there's a man there on the corner, setting up a hot dog stand. |
185 | 00:12:15,800 | 00:12:18,792 | Two women next to him, lighting candles. | Two women next to him, lighting candles. |
186 | 00:12:19,400 | 00:12:22,279 | What on earth do you suppose that's about? | What on earth do you suppose that's about? |
187 | 00:12:46,360 | 00:12:49,159 | Oi, oi, oi! Where do you think you're going? | Oi, oi, oi! Where do you think you're going? |
188 | 00:12:49,240 | 00:12:53,199 | A lot of people here before you, you know, with worse things to worry about. | A lot of people here before you, you know, with worse things to worry about. |
189 | 00:12:53,280 | 00:12:57,638 | —Pay you to have a little consideration. —Worse things to worry about? | —Pay you to have a little consideration. —Worse things to worry about? |
190 | 00:12:57,960 | 00:13:00,156 | Who are these people? | Who are these people? |
191 | 00:13:00,240 | 00:13:03,358 | This is my house, for goodness sake. | This is my house, for goodness sake. |
192 | 00:13:03,880 | 00:13:05,598 | (BLITHERING) | (BLITHERING) |
193 | 00:13:06,920 | 00:13:08,274 | Excuse me! | Excuse me! |
194 | 00:13:08,880 | 00:13:11,190 | MAN: In you 90. Easy. | MAN: In you 90. Easy. |
195 | 00:13:14,720 | 00:13:16,313 | (GREGORIAN CHANT PLAYING) | (GREGORIAN CHANT PLAYING) |
196 | 00:13:31,800 | 00:13:33,074 | Victor. | Victor. |
197 | 00:13:35,640 | 00:13:39,076 | If you would, Father. Yes, I'd appreciate it. Thank you. | If you would, Father. Yes, I'd appreciate it. Thank you. |
198 | 00:13:39,160 | 00:13:42,391 | Well, speak to me... Wake me up... Anything! | Well, speak to me... Wake me up... Anything! |
199 | 00:13:42,480 | 00:13:44,198 | It's this bloody advert. | It's this bloody advert. |
200 | 00:13:44,280 | 00:13:45,953 | I wish I'd never put it in. | I wish I'd never put it in. |
201 | 00:13:46,040 | 00:13:50,352 | It's not my fault that people twist things round and see what they want to see. | It's not my fault that people twist things round and see what they want to see. |
202 | 00:13:50,440 | 00:13:55,037 | Advert? "Remarkable embroidery of the Virgin Mary. | Advert? "Remarkable embroidery of the Virgin Mary. |
203 | 00:13:55,120 | 00:13:57,077 | "Beautifully hand stitched. | "Beautifully hand stitched. |
204 | 00:13:57,160 | 00:14:00,357 | "Has two small tears under her eyes." | "Has two small tears under her eyes." |
205 | 00:14:02,800 | 00:14:04,871 | What do you want to put that for? | What do you want to put that for? |
206 | 00:14:04,960 | 00:14:09,238 | Two small tears, is what it says. | Two small tears, is what it says. |
207 | 00:14:10,240 | 00:14:12,038 | Just after you left | Just after you left |
208 | 00:14:12,120 | 00:14:15,636 | those two women turned up, said they'd been outside all night | those two women turned up, said they'd been outside all night |
209 | 00:14:15,720 | 00:14:18,314 | praying for a friend of theirs who's in hospital. | praying for a friend of theirs who's in hospital. |
210 | 00:14:18,400 | 00:14:20,914 | First thing this morning, they heard his results were clear. | First thing this morning, they heard his results were clear. |
211 | 00:14:21,080 | 00:14:23,594 | Could they come in and give thanks for the miracle? | Could they come in and give thanks for the miracle? |
212 | 00:14:23,800 | 00:14:26,030 | Well, before I could even gather my thoughts | Well, before I could even gather my thoughts |
213 | 00:14:26,280 | 00:14:28,317 | all this lot started to arrive, | all this lot started to arrive, |
214 | 00:14:28,400 | 00:14:30,710 | like something out of Franco Zeffirelli. | like something out of Franco Zeffirelli. |
215 | 00:14:30,800 | 00:14:35,112 | I've phoned Father Blakey at Sacred Heart. He's going to try and get round here right away. | I've phoned Father Blakey at Sacred Heart. He's going to try and get round here right away. |
216 | 00:14:35,200 | 00:14:38,397 | And let them down gently. Don't ask me how. | And let them down gently. Don't ask me how. |
217 | 00:14:38,480 | 00:14:41,120 | Some more holy water. Would you mind? | Some more holy water. Would you mind? |
218 | 00:14:41,200 | 00:14:42,270 | No. | No. |
219 | 00:14:56,400 | 00:14:58,789 | Faith is a powerful motivator, Mrs Meldrew. | Faith is a powerful motivator, Mrs Meldrew. |
220 | 00:14:58,880 | 00:15:01,394 | It brings out the pilgrim in us all. | It brings out the pilgrim in us all. |
221 | 00:15:01,480 | 00:15:04,598 | However you look at it, this is a most extraordinary occurrence. | However you look at it, this is a most extraordinary occurrence. |
222 | 00:15:04,680 | 00:15:07,513 | Not so extraordinary in this house, I'm afraid. | Not so extraordinary in this house, I'm afraid. |
223 | 00:15:08,040 | 00:15:09,792 | Rather more par for the course. | Rather more par for the course. |
224 | 00:15:09,880 | 00:15:14,033 | Oh, dear. Sounds as if you might welcome a little spiritual comfort yourself, sometime. | Oh, dear. Sounds as if you might welcome a little spiritual comfort yourself, sometime. |
225 | 00:15:14,680 | 00:15:16,671 | Sometime, very possibly. | Sometime, very possibly. |
226 | 00:15:21,320 | 00:15:22,958 | GLYNIS: Margaret. | GLYNIS: Margaret. |
227 | 00:15:26,040 | 00:15:28,839 | Oh, sorry, Glynis. | Oh, sorry, Glynis. |
228 | 00:15:29,440 | 00:15:32,319 | —It's just... —I know. | —It's just... —I know. |
229 | 00:15:33,320 | 00:15:34,958 | Steals up on you, | Steals up on you, |
230 | 00:15:36,120 | 00:15:38,031 | like a knife in the ribs. | like a knife in the ribs. |
231 | 00:15:38,880 | 00:15:41,349 | Ah, and it's so much worse for you. | Ah, and it's so much worse for you. |
232 | 00:15:42,080 | 00:15:43,878 | I mean, with Michael, | I mean, with Michael, |
233 | 00:15:45,280 | 00:15:48,113 | well, you're just trying to fight nature. | well, you're just trying to fight nature. |
234 | 00:15:48,960 | 00:15:50,917 | But what happened to Victor... | But what happened to Victor... |
235 | 00:15:52,960 | 00:15:56,271 | I don't know, Margaret, how you ever deal with that. | I don't know, Margaret, how you ever deal with that. |
236 | 00:15:57,520 | 00:15:59,193 | Oh, I have a way. | Oh, I have a way. |
237 | 00:16:00,920 | 00:16:04,550 | So, what were you saying earlier | So, what were you saying earlier |
238 | 00:16:04,680 | 00:16:06,830 | about a hideous specimen? | about a hideous specimen? |
239 | 00:16:06,920 | 00:16:09,196 | This from his friends at the zoo? | This from his friends at the zoo? |
240 | 00:16:09,280 | 00:16:12,238 | Seventeen years, I think I told you, he worked there as a keeper. | Seventeen years, I think I told you, he worked there as a keeper. |
241 | 00:16:12,320 | 00:16:14,516 | Fifteen, in the reptile house. | Fifteen, in the reptile house. |
242 | 00:16:14,600 | 00:16:18,389 | Snakes, lizards, anything with scales, he could cope with. | Snakes, lizards, anything with scales, he could cope with. |
243 | 00:16:19,520 | 00:16:22,273 | It was people always set his teeth on edge. | It was people always set his teeth on edge. |
244 | 00:16:22,360 | 00:16:23,759 | I think I know the type. | I think I know the type. |
245 | 00:16:23,840 | 00:16:27,071 | Last week, one of his favourite animals died. | Last week, one of his favourite animals died. |
246 | 00:16:29,440 | 00:16:33,638 | They had it made into a coffee table and delivered to our house. | They had it made into a coffee table and delivered to our house. |
247 | 00:16:33,960 | 00:16:37,715 | Somehow, I don't think, it would have made his day. | Somehow, I don't think, it would have made his day. |
248 | 00:16:37,880 | 00:16:39,439 | I know. | I know. |
249 | 00:16:39,520 | 00:16:41,591 | I was just starting to wonder with Victor, | I was just starting to wonder with Victor, |
250 | 00:16:41,680 | 00:16:45,116 | how much torment one man can take in his life. | how much torment one man can take in his life. |
251 | 00:16:46,480 | 00:16:50,838 | It's like the morning, we thought we'd go for a nice little drive to the market in Lanchester. | It's like the morning, we thought we'd go for a nice little drive to the market in Lanchester. |
252 | 00:16:50,920 | 00:16:52,274 | Didn't quite work out? | Didn't quite work out? |
253 | 00:17:00,320 | 00:17:04,473 | Well, at least that bag of medical instruments came in handy in the end. | Well, at least that bag of medical instruments came in handy in the end. |
254 | 00:17:04,560 | 00:17:06,756 | I mean, what sort of brain disorder is it anyway, | I mean, what sort of brain disorder is it anyway, |
255 | 00:17:06,840 | 00:17:10,834 | that makes someone want to stick their bare backside out of a car window | that makes someone want to stick their bare backside out of a car window |
256 | 00:17:10,920 | 00:17:12,752 | at you in the first place. | at you in the first place. |
257 | 00:17:12,840 | 00:17:14,194 | I don't know. | I don't know. |
258 | 00:17:14,280 | 00:17:16,874 | But I don't suppose he'll be doing it again in a hurry. | But I don't suppose he'll be doing it again in a hurry. |
259 | 00:17:16,960 | 00:17:20,749 | After you lobbed that hypodermic syringe into it like Eric Bristow. | After you lobbed that hypodermic syringe into it like Eric Bristow. |
260 | 00:17:22,560 | 00:17:24,995 | He's lucky I didn't have a snooker cue. | He's lucky I didn't have a snooker cue. |
261 | 00:17:25,800 | 00:17:29,031 | Anyway, it brought a bit of colour to his cheeks. | Anyway, it brought a bit of colour to his cheeks. |
262 | 00:17:30,240 | 00:17:33,153 | Bad enough falling asleep in that park with that sun cream lotion on | Bad enough falling asleep in that park with that sun cream lotion on |
263 | 00:17:33,240 | 00:17:36,312 | and getting a face full of grass cuttings. | and getting a face full of grass cuttings. |
264 | 00:17:36,400 | 00:17:39,677 | Walking about like David Bellamy with greenfly. | Walking about like David Bellamy with greenfly. |
265 | 00:17:40,840 | 00:17:44,310 | That couple took one look at me and fell out of their boat. | That couple took one look at me and fell out of their boat. |
266 | 00:17:44,400 | 00:17:49,520 | Heaven knows what they thought, that I had some form of hideous skin disease. | Heaven knows what they thought, that I had some form of hideous skin disease. |
267 | 00:17:49,600 | 00:17:51,955 | Oh, here we go again. | Oh, here we go again. |
268 | 00:17:52,040 | 00:17:56,398 | Look, everywhere under the sun. Look at that. | Look, everywhere under the sun. Look at that. |
269 | 00:17:56,480 | 00:17:59,313 | I wonder who this is from. Postmark Swansea. | I wonder who this is from. Postmark Swansea. |
270 | 00:17:59,520 | 00:18:03,434 | Now, then. What time is that film on, that I want to record? | Now, then. What time is that film on, that I want to record? |
271 | 00:18:04,080 | 00:18:05,718 | :15. | :15. |
272 | 00:18:06,280 | 00:18:10,274 | That just gives me over an hour to open this packet of videos. | That just gives me over an hour to open this packet of videos. |
273 | 00:18:14,840 | 00:18:18,959 | Oh, and why we ever thought it was a good idea to go and visit cousin Ivor... | Oh, and why we ever thought it was a good idea to go and visit cousin Ivor... |
274 | 00:18:19,360 | 00:18:22,478 | I might've known he would just want to show off that new car of his. | I might've known he would just want to show off that new car of his. |
275 | 00:18:22,560 | 00:18:25,552 | Made me feel that mine was just a heap of rust. | Made me feel that mine was just a heap of rust. |
276 | 00:18:26,760 | 00:18:29,752 | Got me to look out of his electronic sun—roof and what happened? | Got me to look out of his electronic sun—roof and what happened? |
277 | 00:18:29,840 | 00:18:33,470 | Ruddy panel jammed against my neck and I get stuck there. | Ruddy panel jammed against my neck and I get stuck there. |
278 | 00:18:34,680 | 00:18:39,675 | I had to go all the way to the fire station with my head poking out the top like a ruddy tank turret. | I had to go all the way to the fire station with my head poking out the top like a ruddy tank turret. |
279 | 00:18:39,760 | 00:18:44,277 | I know. I was there, if you recall. | I know. I was there, if you recall. |
280 | 00:18:44,440 | 00:18:46,431 | Oh, look. This is interesting. | Oh, look. This is interesting. |
281 | 00:18:46,560 | 00:18:49,393 | Do you remember Tom Jones who was on the milk with you? | Do you remember Tom Jones who was on the milk with you? |
282 | 00:18:49,480 | 00:18:52,393 | Thirty odd years ago, when you both worked for Lea Valley Dairies. | Thirty odd years ago, when you both worked for Lea Valley Dairies. |
283 | 00:18:52,480 | 00:18:54,278 | What's he died of? | What's he died of? |
284 | 00:18:54,920 | 00:18:58,117 | Very much alive. He says it's the most amazing thing. | Very much alive. He says it's the most amazing thing. |
285 | 00:18:58,200 | 00:19:02,433 | Next week they're holding a reunion in London for all the old gang. | Next week they're holding a reunion in London for all the old gang. |
286 | 00:19:02,520 | 00:19:06,150 | And they've been desperately trying to get hold of you. | And they've been desperately trying to get hold of you. |
287 | 00:19:06,240 | 00:19:10,552 | "As luck would have it, my daughter still sends the local paper every week | "As luck would have it, my daughter still sends the local paper every week |
288 | 00:19:10,640 | 00:19:13,712 | "and that's where I saw the report of your miracle picture | "and that's where I saw the report of your miracle picture |
289 | 00:19:13,800 | 00:19:16,997 | "which was a miracle in itself because I got straight on to the editor | "which was a miracle in itself because I got straight on to the editor |
290 | 00:19:17,080 | 00:19:18,798 | "who gave me your address." | "who gave me your address." |
291 | 00:19:18,880 | 00:19:20,632 | What sort of reunion? | What sort of reunion? |
292 | 00:19:20,720 | 00:19:22,950 | Oh, you've got to 90, Victor. | Oh, you've got to 90, Victor. |
293 | 00:19:23,040 | 00:19:26,396 | You'll be able to swap stories. Catch up with everyone. | You'll be able to swap stories. Catch up with everyone. |
294 | 00:19:26,480 | 00:19:30,155 | They're all meeting up at a pub called The Strangers Rest | They're all meeting up at a pub called The Strangers Rest |
295 | 00:19:30,240 | 00:19:32,277 | next Friday at 8:00. | next Friday at 8:00. |
296 | 00:19:32,520 | 00:19:34,716 | Derek Baker, Bob Loft, | Derek Baker, Bob Loft, |
297 | 00:19:34,800 | 00:19:37,553 | Limpy Briddock, Herbie Stranks... | Limpy Briddock, Herbie Stranks... |
298 | 00:19:37,640 | 00:19:39,836 | There's a whole list of names here. | There's a whole list of names here. |
299 | 00:19:39,920 | 00:19:42,992 | Limpy Briddock. My God. | Limpy Briddock. My God. |
300 | 00:19:43,760 | 00:19:46,274 | He used to work up the dog track. | He used to work up the dog track. |
301 | 00:19:46,360 | 00:19:49,876 | Until he got his shoelace caught in that electric hare. | Until he got his shoelace caught in that electric hare. |
302 | 00:19:52,480 | 00:19:55,199 | Wonder what he's been up to over all these years. | Wonder what he's been up to over all these years. |
303 | 00:19:55,280 | 00:19:58,318 | Well, go along on Friday, you'll find out. | Well, go along on Friday, you'll find out. |
304 | 00:19:58,400 | 00:20:00,630 | It'll be just what you need. You'll see. | It'll be just what you need. You'll see. |
305 | 00:20:00,720 | 00:20:02,950 | To take you out of yourself. | To take you out of yourself. |
306 | 00:20:06,280 | 00:20:08,794 | FATHER BLAKEY: Let me get that one. | FATHER BLAKEY: Let me get that one. |
307 | 00:20:10,000 | 00:20:11,798 | Oh, Morning. | Oh, Morning. |
308 | 00:20:12,040 | 00:20:14,839 | -Are you well? —I'm fine, Mrs Meldrew. | -Are you well? —I'm fine, Mrs Meldrew. |
309 | 00:20:15,080 | 00:20:17,469 | More importantly, how are you coping? | More importantly, how are you coping? |
310 | 00:20:17,560 | 00:20:19,949 | How long is it now? It's four weeks? | How long is it now? It's four weeks? |
311 | 00:20:20,040 | 00:20:21,599 | And three days. | And three days. |
312 | 00:20:23,160 | 00:20:26,391 | Can I say, this is a very positive thing you've organised here. | Can I say, this is a very positive thing you've organised here. |
313 | 00:20:26,480 | 00:20:28,073 | Cleaning up other people's filth? | Cleaning up other people's filth? |
314 | 00:20:28,160 | 00:20:30,436 | Oh, yes. Gives me no end of pleasure. | Oh, yes. Gives me no end of pleasure. |
315 | 00:20:30,520 | 00:20:32,796 | Victor used to say, it must be a certain kind of person | Victor used to say, it must be a certain kind of person |
316 | 00:20:32,880 | 00:20:36,475 | that regards a lavatory in a toilet as an optional extra. | that regards a lavatory in a toilet as an optional extra. |
317 | 00:20:36,560 | 00:20:39,598 | Yes, well, I've got another recruit for you this morning. | Yes, well, I've got another recruit for you this morning. |
318 | 00:20:39,680 | 00:20:41,830 | Lady rang me up last night. Her name is Glynis. | Lady rang me up last night. Her name is Glynis. |
319 | 00:20:41,920 | 00:20:44,878 | She lost her husband about a week after yourself. | She lost her husband about a week after yourself. |
320 | 00:20:44,960 | 00:20:46,712 | He'd been very ill, I gather, for some time. | He'd been very ill, I gather, for some time. |
321 | 00:20:46,800 | 00:20:47,949 | Morning. | Morning. |
322 | 00:20:48,040 | 00:20:50,714 | Are you Margaret? Glynis Holloway. | Are you Margaret? Glynis Holloway. |
323 | 00:20:50,800 | 00:20:52,916 | I just wondered if you could do with another pair of hands. | I just wondered if you could do with another pair of hands. |
324 | 00:20:53,000 | 00:20:55,150 | Oh, definitely, the more the merrier. | Oh, definitely, the more the merrier. |
325 | 00:20:55,240 | 00:20:57,038 | How about if I start with the vacuum cleaner. | How about if I start with the vacuum cleaner. |
326 | 00:20:58,040 | 00:20:59,030 | Sorry? | Sorry? |
327 | 00:21:01,000 | 00:21:03,037 | Oh, right. | Oh, right. |
328 | 00:21:04,360 | 00:21:07,512 | —You sure you can manage? —Absolutely fine. | —You sure you can manage? —Absolutely fine. |
329 | 00:21:12,440 | 00:21:15,831 | Mrs Meldrew, I know it must be very hard for you right now | Mrs Meldrew, I know it must be very hard for you right now |
330 | 00:21:15,920 | 00:21:18,639 | to find any kind of purpose in the world. | to find any kind of purpose in the world. |
331 | 00:21:20,600 | 00:21:23,240 | I think I see how it works, Father. | I think I see how it works, Father. |
332 | 00:21:23,320 | 00:21:26,233 | We're all just characters, really, aren't we? | We're all just characters, really, aren't we? |
333 | 00:21:26,320 | 00:21:28,675 | In a giant soap opera. | In a giant soap opera. |
334 | 00:21:28,760 | 00:21:32,913 | One by one, God gets bored with us and decides to kill us off. | One by one, God gets bored with us and decides to kill us off. |
335 | 00:21:33,000 | 00:21:37,312 | Victor Meldrew mown down by a hit and run driver on his way home from a party. | Victor Meldrew mown down by a hit and run driver on his way home from a party. |
336 | 00:21:38,280 | 00:21:40,556 | Sounds depressingly plausible. | Sounds depressingly plausible. |
337 | 00:21:41,600 | 00:21:44,672 | A party his wife practically begged him to go to. | A party his wife practically begged him to go to. |
338 | 00:21:44,760 | 00:21:46,512 | Well, you... | Well, you... |
339 | 00:21:46,600 | 00:21:50,639 | You can't go on torturing yourself for something that wasn't your fault. | You can't go on torturing yourself for something that wasn't your fault. |
340 | 00:21:50,720 | 00:21:55,157 | Oh, I'm afraid I can do a lot of things, Father, if I want to. | Oh, I'm afraid I can do a lot of things, Father, if I want to. |
341 | 00:21:55,760 | 00:21:58,639 | Torturing myself is the least of them. | Torturing myself is the least of them. |
342 | 00:21:59,600 | 00:22:05,391 | You ask me how I'm coping. Shall I tell you exactly how I'm coping? | You ask me how I'm coping. Shall I tell you exactly how I'm coping? |
343 | 00:22:06,000 | 00:22:11,200 | By clinging to the hope that one day they find the bastard who was at the wheel of that car | By clinging to the hope that one day they find the bastard who was at the wheel of that car |
344 | 00:22:11,280 | 00:22:15,558 | because if they ever do, I swear to God, I'm going to kill him. | because if they ever do, I swear to God, I'm going to kill him. |
345 | 00:22:16,080 | 00:22:18,674 | With my bare hands, if necessary. | With my bare hands, if necessary. |
346 | 00:22:19,240 | 00:22:21,709 | Then they can do what they like with me. | Then they can do what they like with me. |
347 | 00:22:21,800 | 00:22:24,360 | Trouble with the world nowadays, | Trouble with the world nowadays, |
348 | 00:22:24,440 | 00:22:28,638 | nobody does anything about anything. | nobody does anything about anything. |
349 | 00:22:30,360 | 00:22:32,556 | Victor tried, God knows. | Victor tried, God knows. |
350 | 00:22:32,640 | 00:22:34,677 | And look where it got him. | And look where it got him. |
351 | 00:22:35,680 | 00:22:38,911 | It's all speed and greed. | It's all speed and greed. |
352 | 00:22:40,800 | 00:22:43,235 | And he's probably better out of it. | And he's probably better out of it. |
353 | 00:22:47,440 | 00:22:50,717 | The pain is still raw, Mrs Meldrew. I can see that. | The pain is still raw, Mrs Meldrew. I can see that. |
354 | 00:22:51,120 | 00:22:54,954 | And how can I say I wouldn't feel the same in your shoes, | And how can I say I wouldn't feel the same in your shoes, |
355 | 00:22:55,920 | 00:22:58,799 | but the measure of our strength as human beings | but the measure of our strength as human beings |
356 | 00:22:58,880 | 00:23:01,110 | is the goodness in our hearts. | is the goodness in our hearts. |
357 | 00:23:02,640 | 00:23:07,635 | One day, as impossible as it seems right now, I pray that you'll find that strength. | One day, as impossible as it seems right now, I pray that you'll find that strength. |
358 | 00:23:09,120 | 00:23:10,872 | Strength to forgive. | Strength to forgive. |
359 | 00:23:18,240 | 00:23:19,913 | (BOARD CREAKING) | (BOARD CREAKING) |
360 | 00:23:28,360 | 00:23:30,795 | (LOUD MUSIC AND CHATTERING) | (LOUD MUSIC AND CHATTERING) |
361 | 00:23:45,360 | 00:23:47,397 | (INAUDIBLE) | (INAUDIBLE) |
362 | 00:25:45,240 | 00:25:48,073 | I'd watch that chair, sir. It's a bit unreliable. | I'd watch that chair, sir. It's a bit unreliable. |
363 | 00:25:48,160 | 00:25:50,515 | Are you here for the Lea Valley Dairies reunion? | Are you here for the Lea Valley Dairies reunion? |
364 | 00:25:50,600 | 00:25:55,959 | Yes. I'm afraid I'm a bit on the late side, to be honest. | Yes. I'm afraid I'm a bit on the late side, to be honest. |
365 | 00:25:56,040 | 00:25:58,475 | What with all the trains being up the creek and everything. But... | What with all the trains being up the creek and everything. But... |
366 | 00:25:58,560 | 00:26:01,154 | Right, well, I've got a couple of messages for you here. | Right, well, I've got a couple of messages for you here. |
367 | 00:26:01,240 | 00:26:03,595 | A Mr Tom Jones rang, | A Mr Tom Jones rang, |
368 | 00:26:03,680 | 00:26:08,038 | to say unfortunately, there's been some heavy flooding up on the Welsh coast tonight. | to say unfortunately, there's been some heavy flooding up on the Welsh coast tonight. |
369 | 00:26:08,120 | 00:26:11,317 | Apparently, a male voice choir was swept out to sea. | Apparently, a male voice choir was swept out to sea. |
370 | 00:26:11,560 | 00:26:14,234 | —And the roads are all impassable, so... -Oh, what a shame. | —And the roads are all impassable, so... -Oh, what a shame. |
371 | 00:26:14,320 | 00:26:16,880 | Herbert Stranks is stuck in traffic on the M6 | Herbert Stranks is stuck in traffic on the M6 |
372 | 00:26:16,960 | 00:26:19,679 | and doesn't think he'll be able to get here this side of Christmas. | and doesn't think he'll be able to get here this side of Christmas. |
373 | 00:26:19,760 | 00:26:23,469 | Alex Bendricks is really sorry, but he's had to fly to Hamburg | Alex Bendricks is really sorry, but he's had to fly to Hamburg |
374 | 00:26:23,560 | 00:26:25,119 | on business at the last minute. | on business at the last minute. |
375 | 00:26:25,200 | 00:26:29,512 | And Bob Loft has decided it's too far to drive with his kidneys. | And Bob Loft has decided it's too far to drive with his kidneys. |
376 | 00:26:30,480 | 00:26:33,120 | Right, I won't be seeing any of them this even... | Right, I won't be seeing any of them this even... |
377 | 00:26:33,200 | 00:26:36,875 | Albert Triple joy has had to stay at home because his roof has collapsed. | Albert Triple joy has had to stay at home because his roof has collapsed. |
378 | 00:26:36,960 | 00:26:41,033 | Walter Gook called to say his pacemaker's been recalled by the manufacturer | Walter Gook called to say his pacemaker's been recalled by the manufacturer |
379 | 00:26:41,120 | 00:26:43,873 | due to a lethal design fault. | due to a lethal design fault. |
380 | 00:26:44,200 | 00:26:46,476 | Mr Briddock. Limpy Briddock? | Mr Briddock. Limpy Briddock? |
381 | 00:26:47,200 | 00:26:51,194 | Has had to work overtime, so he's not sure what time he'll be able to make it. | Has had to work overtime, so he's not sure what time he'll be able to make it. |
382 | 00:26:51,280 | 00:26:55,194 | And this one Cheryl took down. I'm not sure I can read her writing. | And this one Cheryl took down. I'm not sure I can read her writing. |
383 | 00:26:55,280 | 00:26:57,351 | Derek Baker, is it? | Derek Baker, is it? |
384 | 00:26:58,000 | 00:27:02,597 | Has got to go and visit his daughter who's recovering from either a Caesarean section | Has got to go and visit his daughter who's recovering from either a Caesarean section |
385 | 00:27:02,680 | 00:27:04,353 | or a Caesar salad. | or a Caesar salad. |
386 | 00:27:05,360 | 00:27:07,397 | A bald transvestite. | A bald transvestite. |
387 | 00:27:07,560 | 00:27:10,234 | Isn't that everybody who was supposed to be coming? | Isn't that everybody who was supposed to be coming? |
388 | 00:27:10,320 | 00:27:13,073 | Hang on, sir. I'll just check for you. | Hang on, sir. I'll just check for you. |
389 | 00:27:13,160 | 00:27:14,514 | Yes, it is. | Yes, it is. |
390 | 00:27:15,400 | 00:27:20,156 | Dinner is served at 9:00, if you'd like to cast your eye over our menu there. | Dinner is served at 9:00, if you'd like to cast your eye over our menu there. |
391 | 00:27:20,480 | 00:27:23,040 | —Or it could be blood transfusion. —Right. | —Or it could be blood transfusion. —Right. |
392 | 00:27:24,560 | 00:27:25,914 | So, I suppose | So, I suppose |
393 | 00:27:26,000 | 00:27:30,039 | Limpy Briddock might still show up if he can get away in time | Limpy Briddock might still show up if he can get away in time |
394 | 00:27:30,120 | 00:27:32,555 | and I haven't seen him for 35 years. | and I haven't seen him for 35 years. |
395 | 00:27:32,640 | 00:27:36,235 | Oh, yes, I'm sure he'll be here well in time for the cabaret, sir. | Oh, yes, I'm sure he'll be here well in time for the cabaret, sir. |
396 | 00:27:36,360 | 00:27:38,590 | I expect... | I expect... |
397 | 00:27:38,680 | 00:27:40,353 | Cabaret? | Cabaret? |
398 | 00:27:40,440 | 00:27:43,319 | Okay, so just to get you in the mood | Okay, so just to get you in the mood |
399 | 00:27:43,400 | 00:27:48,270 | and hopefully to stir a few of those lovely memories of times you've shared together, | and hopefully to stir a few of those lovely memories of times you've shared together, |
400 | 00:27:48,480 | 00:27:52,110 | here are some sounds of the '605. | here are some sounds of the '605. |
401 | 00:27:55,160 | 00:27:58,596 | # Purple haze was in my brain | # Purple haze was in my brain |
402 | 00:27:58,800 | 00:28:02,555 | # Lately things don't seem the same | # Lately things don't seem the same |
403 | 00:28:03,000 | 00:28:06,630 | # Acting funny, but I don't know why | # Acting funny, but I don't know why |
404 | 00:28:07,160 | 00:28:10,755 | # Excuse me while I kiss the sky | # Excuse me while I kiss the sky |
405 | 00:28:14,520 | 00:28:18,514 | # Well, God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son" | # Well, God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son" |
406 | 00:28:18,680 | 00:28:22,639 | # Abe said, "Man, you must be putting me on" | # Abe said, "Man, you must be putting me on" |
407 | 00:28:22,760 | 00:28:24,592 | # God said, "No" | # God said, "No" |
408 | 00:28:24,680 | 00:28:26,637 | # Abe said, "What?" | # Abe said, "What?" |
409 | 00:28:26,720 | 00:28:30,600 | # God said, "You can do what you want, Abe, but | # God said, "You can do what you want, Abe, but |
410 | 00:28:30,680 | 00:28:34,799 | # "The next time you see me coming, you better run" | # "The next time you see me coming, you better run" |
411 | 00:28:38,640 | 00:28:42,110 | # Well, Abe said, "Where do you want this killing done?" | # Well, Abe said, "Where do you want this killing done?" |
412 | 00:28:42,760 | 00:28:47,231 | # God say, "Out on Highway 61" # | # God say, "Out on Highway 61" # |
413 | 00:29:23,920 | 00:29:25,558 | —Thank you. —Thank you. Goodbye. | —Thank you. —Thank you. Goodbye. |
414 | 00:29:36,280 | 00:29:40,558 | VICTOR: Yes. A complete and utter disaster as usual. | VICTOR: Yes. A complete and utter disaster as usual. |
415 | 00:29:40,640 | 00:29:44,918 | Look, I don't want to miss the train. It's supposed to get in at 12:35, so... | Look, I don't want to miss the train. It's supposed to get in at 12:35, so... |
416 | 00:29:45,680 | 00:29:48,559 | Alright. Yes, I'll see you then. | Alright. Yes, I'll see you then. |
417 | 00:29:51,120 | 00:29:53,919 | No, no, no, of course it wasn't your fault. | No, no, no, of course it wasn't your fault. |
418 | 00:29:54,520 | 00:29:56,716 | Anyway, it's over now, so... | Anyway, it's over now, so... |
419 | 00:29:57,040 | 00:29:59,316 | Okay, bye. | Okay, bye. |
420 | 00:30:02,160 | 00:30:04,276 | Things can only get better. | Things can only get better. |
421 | 00:30:04,560 | 00:30:05,959 | "Dear Mrs Holloway, | "Dear Mrs Holloway, |
422 | 00:30:06,120 | 00:30:10,318 | "last Monday morning, the oldest of our giant tortoises, Erasmus, | "last Monday morning, the oldest of our giant tortoises, Erasmus, |
423 | 00:30:10,400 | 00:30:12,960 | "died, aged 119. | "died, aged 119. |
424 | 00:30:14,200 | 00:30:18,478 | "Knowing how fond of him Michael was, we have put together this small keepsake | "Knowing how fond of him Michael was, we have put together this small keepsake |
425 | 00:30:19,280 | 00:30:20,793 | "for you in the workshop. | "for you in the workshop. |
426 | 00:30:20,880 | 00:30:24,475 | "The inside being fully scraped out and sealed with resin. | "The inside being fully scraped out and sealed with resin. |
427 | 00:30:24,640 | 00:30:27,359 | "So, you can use it to store napkins | "So, you can use it to store napkins |
428 | 00:30:27,600 | 00:30:30,353 | "or maybe just grow some form of trailing plant." | "or maybe just grow some form of trailing plant." |
429 | 00:30:31,280 | 00:30:34,352 | Do you know, I have never met anyone else in my life | Do you know, I have never met anyone else in my life |
430 | 00:30:34,440 | 00:30:36,192 | who goes through all this. | who goes through all this. |
431 | 00:30:36,280 | 00:30:38,317 | How on earth did it happen, Glynis? | How on earth did it happen, Glynis? |
432 | 00:30:38,400 | 00:30:41,233 | In the middle of hell, how did we manage to find each other? | In the middle of hell, how did we manage to find each other? |
433 | 00:30:41,560 | 00:30:43,790 | If we're talking about miracles... | If we're talking about miracles... |
434 | 00:30:45,240 | 00:30:47,516 | What? What is it? Is it another migraine? | What? What is it? Is it another migraine? |
435 | 00:30:47,680 | 00:30:51,310 | Oh, it'll pass if I just rest my eyes for a bit. | Oh, it'll pass if I just rest my eyes for a bit. |
436 | 00:30:51,400 | 00:30:53,198 | Yes, or more likely get worse. | Yes, or more likely get worse. |
437 | 00:30:53,880 | 00:30:55,917 | Let me get you some Paracetamol or something. | Let me get you some Paracetamol or something. |
438 | 00:30:56,000 | 00:30:58,355 | I could murder some more of that fruit juice. | I could murder some more of that fruit juice. |
439 | 00:33:06,800 | 00:33:08,120 | Oh, that's lovely. | Oh, that's lovely. |
440 | 00:33:08,640 | 00:33:09,630 | Thanks. | Thanks. |
441 | 00:33:18,600 | 00:33:20,034 | Oh, dear God. | Oh, dear God. |
442 | 00:33:24,040 | 00:33:25,474 | Oh, Margaret. | Oh, Margaret. |
443 | 00:33:26,240 | 00:33:27,514 | Margaret. | Margaret. |
444 | 00:33:33,440 | 00:33:34,953 | What can I say? | What can I say? |
445 | 00:33:37,160 | 00:33:39,720 | What can I possibly say? | What can I possibly say? |
446 | 00:33:44,400 | 00:33:46,073 | I was driving too fast. | I was driving too fast. |
447 | 00:33:47,560 | 00:33:49,198 | Of course I was. | Of course I was. |
448 | 00:33:51,960 | 00:33:54,429 | The hospital had rung up that night | The hospital had rung up that night |
449 | 00:33:58,360 | 00:34:01,000 | to say that Michael might not... | to say that Michael might not... |
450 | 00:34:04,600 | 00:34:06,079 | And I was just... | And I was just... |
451 | 00:34:08,880 | 00:34:11,156 | I mean, I should never have been on the road. | I mean, I should never have been on the road. |
452 | 00:34:20,160 | 00:34:21,195 | I pulled up. | I pulled up. |
453 | 00:34:21,760 | 00:34:23,751 | I swear. | I swear. |
454 | 00:34:24,560 | 00:34:28,599 | I would've gone back, if I hadn't seen your car coming. | I would've gone back, if I hadn't seen your car coming. |
455 | 00:34:33,160 | 00:34:34,753 | What could I do? | What could I do? |
456 | 00:34:35,640 | 00:34:37,517 | I mean, by that time... | I mean, by that time... |
457 | 00:34:39,440 | 00:34:41,351 | What could I have done? | What could I have done? |
458 | 00:34:49,120 | 00:34:53,398 | And to have to live with all that on top of losing Michael. | And to have to live with all that on top of losing Michael. |
459 | 00:35:13,040 | 00:35:15,714 | "Tomorrow, I'll tell her." | "Tomorrow, I'll tell her." |
460 | 00:35:17,840 | 00:35:21,310 | Every night, I have prayed to God for the strength, but... | Every night, I have prayed to God for the strength, but... |
461 | 00:35:30,840 | 00:35:32,433 | I had to find you. | I had to find you. |
462 | 00:35:33,720 | 00:35:37,031 | You might have needed help, money, | You might have needed help, money, |
463 | 00:35:37,880 | 00:35:39,598 | shoulder to cry on. | shoulder to cry on. |
464 | 00:35:42,600 | 00:35:43,749 | Maybe, | Maybe, |
465 | 00:35:45,120 | 00:35:46,599 | just a friend. | just a friend. |
466 | 00:35:53,560 | 00:35:54,709 | I am so sorry. | I am so sorry. |
467 | 00:37:05,280 | 00:37:08,636 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
468 | 00:37:08,720 | 00:37:10,711 | # Riding around in the breeze | # Riding around in the breeze |
469 | 00:37:10,800 | 00:37:14,236 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
470 | 00:37:14,320 | 00:37:16,072 | # If you live the life you please | # If you live the life you please |
471 | 00:37:16,160 | 00:37:20,119 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
472 | 00:37:20,200 | 00:37:21,873 | # Doing the best you can | # Doing the best you can |
473 | 00:37:21,960 | 00:37:25,555 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
474 | 00:37:25,720 | 00:37:27,950 | # As long as you lend a hand | # As long as you lend a hand |
475 | 00:37:30,400 | 00:37:34,280 | # You can sit around and wait for the phone to ring | # You can sit around and wait for the phone to ring |
476 | 00:37:36,040 | 00:37:39,749 | # Waiting for someone to tell you everything | # Waiting for someone to tell you everything |
477 | 00:37:41,800 | 00:37:45,111 | # Sit around and wonder what tomorrow will bring | # Sit around and wonder what tomorrow will bring |
478 | 00:37:46,560 | 00:37:48,676 | # Maybe a diamond ring | # Maybe a diamond ring |
479 | 00:37:49,640 | 00:37:52,917 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
480 | 00:37:53,000 | 00:37:54,718 | # Even if they say you're wrong | # Even if they say you're wrong |
481 | 00:37:54,800 | 00:37:58,589 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
482 | 00:37:58,680 | 00:38:01,035 | # Sometimes you gotta be strong | # Sometimes you gotta be strong |
483 | 00:38:01,120 | 00:38:04,238 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
484 | 00:38:04,320 | 00:38:06,152 | # As long as you got somewhere to lay | # As long as you got somewhere to lay |
485 | 00:38:06,240 | 00:38:10,074 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
486 | 00:38:10,160 | 00:38:12,356 | # Everyday is judgment Day | # Everyday is judgment Day |
487 | 00:38:15,240 | 00:38:18,039 | # Maybe somewhere down the road aways | # Maybe somewhere down the road aways |
488 | 00:38:20,400 | 00:38:24,075 | # You'll think of me and wonder where I am these days | # You'll think of me and wonder where I am these days |
489 | 00:38:26,160 | 00:38:30,074 | # Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays | # Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays |
490 | 00:38:31,720 | 00:38:34,360 | # Purple haze | # Purple haze |
491 | 00:38:34,560 | 00:38:37,200 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
492 | 00:38:37,280 | 00:38:39,669 | # Even when push comes to shove | # Even when push comes to shove |
493 | 00:38:39,760 | 00:38:42,957 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
494 | 00:38:43,040 | 00:38:45,156 | # If you got someone to love | # If you got someone to love |
495 | 00:38:45,240 | 00:38:48,710 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
496 | 00:38:48,800 | 00:38:50,996 | # Everything 'll work out fine | # Everything 'll work out fine |
497 | 00:38:51,080 | 00:38:54,391 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
498 | 00:38:54,480 | 00:38:56,994 | # We're going to the end of the line | # We're going to the end of the line |
499 | 00:38:59,400 | 00:39:03,109 | # Don't have to be ashamed of the car I drive | # Don't have to be ashamed of the car I drive |
500 | 00:39:04,680 | 00:39:08,719 | # I'm just glad to be here, happy to be alive | # I'm just glad to be here, happy to be alive |
501 | 00:39:11,040 | 00:39:14,635 | # It don't matter if you're by my side | # It don't matter if you're by my side |
502 | 00:39:15,920 | 00:39:18,434 | # I'm satisfied | # I'm satisfied |
503 | 00:39:18,520 | 00:39:21,672 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
504 | 00:39:21,760 | 00:39:23,558 | # Even if you're old and grey | # Even if you're old and grey |
505 | 00:39:23,640 | 00:39:27,395 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
506 | 00:39:27,480 | 00:39:29,949 | # You still got something to say | # You still got something to say |
507 | 00:39:30,040 | 00:39:33,158 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
508 | 00:39:33,240 | 00:39:34,992 | # Remember to live and let live | # Remember to live and let live |
509 | 00:39:35,080 | 00:39:39,074 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
510 | 00:39:39,160 | 00:39:41,197 | # The best you can do is forgive | # The best you can do is forgive |
511 | 00:39:41,280 | 00:39:44,750 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
512 | 00:39:44,840 | 00:39:46,558 | # Riding around in the breeze | # Riding around in the breeze |
513 | 00:39:46,640 | 00:39:50,554 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
514 | 00:39:50,640 | 00:39:52,756 | # If you live the life you please | # If you live the life you please |
515 | 00:39:52,840 | 00:39:56,276 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
516 | 00:39:56,360 | 00:39:58,112 | # Even if the sun don't shine | # Even if the sun don't shine |
517 | 00:39:58,200 | 00:40:02,114 | # Well it's all right | # Well it's all right |
518 | 00:40:02,200 | 00:40:05,079 | # We're going to the end of the line # | # We're going to the end of the line # |