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1 00:00:22,460 00:00:24,460 You should go and talk to someone. You should go and talk to someone.
2 00:00:26,860 00:00:28,860 Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping?
3 00:00:31,460 00:00:33,740 There's like, uh, like a service. There's like, uh, like a service.
4 00:00:34,820 00:00:37,140 It's free. You might as well. It's free. You might as well.
5 00:00:43,700 00:00:45,700 Connell? Connell?
6 00:00:46,740 00:00:48,740 Would you like to come with me? Would you like to come with me?
7 00:00:53,740 00:00:58,160 Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
8 00:00:58,260 00:01:01,960 five, four, three, two, one. five, four, three, two, one.
9 00:01:02,060 00:01:04,800 Happy New Year! Happy New Year!
10 00:01:22,660 00:01:24,660 Happy New Year! Happy New Year. Happy New Year! Happy New Year.
11 00:01:26,660 00:01:28,660 Happy New Year, you. Happy New Year, you.
12 00:01:39,060 00:01:40,320 Who is it? Who is it?
13 00:01:40,420 00:01:42,660 Uh, it's just an old school friend. Uh, it's just an old school friend.
14 00:01:45,940 00:01:47,940 You okay? You okay?
15 00:01:50,380 00:01:53,720 Uh, yeah. It's just a Happy New Year thing. Uh, yeah. It's just a Happy New Year thing.
16 00:01:53,820 00:01:55,820 Happy New Year! Happy New Year!
17 00:02:00,540 00:02:02,440 What do you mean? What do you mean?
18 00:02:02,540 00:02:04,480 Are you on your own? Are you on your own?
19 00:02:04,580 00:02:07,260 No, I'm with Helen. What do you mean, a body? No, I'm with Helen. What do you mean, a body?
20 00:02:08,140 00:02:09,240 Whose body, what? Whose body, what?
21 00:02:09,340 00:02:11,320 Rob Hegarty, sweetheart. Rob Hegarty, sweetheart.
22 00:02:11,420 00:02:14,140 They pulled a body out of the river this morning. They pulled a body out of the river this morning.
23 00:02:30,940 00:02:34,580 Okay, why don't we talk about how you're feeling. Okay, why don't we talk about how you're feeling.
24 00:02:38,620 00:02:41,020 Uh, yeah, not great. Uh, yeah, not great.
25 00:02:44,460 00:02:46,460 I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sorry to hear that.
26 00:02:49,100 00:02:51,100 When did you start feeling this way? When did you start feeling this way?
27 00:02:52,100 00:02:53,880 Uh... Uh...
28 00:02:53,980 00:02:55,980 a couple of months ago. a couple of months ago.
29 00:02:56,580 00:02:58,400 January, I suppose. January, I suppose.
30 00:02:58,500 00:03:00,500 Okay. Okay.
31 00:03:02,380 00:03:04,160 Did something happen then, or did it just Did something happen then, or did it just
32 00:03:04,260 00:03:06,260 come out of nowhere, do you feel? come out of nowhere, do you feel?
33 00:03:07,300 00:03:09,940 A friend of mine killed himself in January. A friend of mine killed himself in January.
34 00:03:12,500 00:03:14,500 A friend from school. A friend from school.
35 00:03:17,380 00:03:19,380 I'm very sorry to hear that, Connell. I'm very sorry to hear that, Connell.
36 00:03:20,020 00:03:22,760 We, we hadn't really kept up with each other after college. We, we hadn't really kept up with each other after college.
37 00:03:22,860 00:03:25,000 'Cause he was, uh... 'Cause he was, uh...
38 00:03:25,100 00:03:26,320 He was just back in Sligo He was just back in Sligo
39 00:03:26,420 00:03:28,420 and I was up here and everything, and, um... and I was up here and everything, and, um...
40 00:03:31,580 00:03:34,500 I guess I just feel guilty that I wasn't in touch with him more. I guess I just feel guilty that I wasn't in touch with him more.
41 00:03:35,860 00:03:38,000 I can understand that. I can understand that.
42 00:03:38,100 00:03:40,000 But however you might be feeling about your friend, But however you might be feeling about your friend,
43 00:03:40,100 00:03:42,100 what happened to him is not your fault. what happened to him is not your fault.
44 00:03:43,980 00:03:46,940 You are not responsible for the decisions he made. You are not responsible for the decisions he made.
45 00:03:47,500 00:03:50,220 I never even replied to the last message he sent me. I never even replied to the last message he sent me.
46 00:03:53,580 00:03:55,580 When you lose someone to suicide, When you lose someone to suicide,
47 00:03:56,060 00:03:58,640 it can be natural to wonder if there's any more you could have done it can be natural to wonder if there's any more you could have done
48 00:03:58,740 00:04:00,740 in order to help this person. in order to help this person.
49 00:04:02,380 00:04:04,360 I'm sure everyone in your friend's life I'm sure everyone in your friend's life
50 00:04:04,460 00:04:06,520 is asking themselves the same questions now. is asking themselves the same questions now.
51 00:04:06,620 00:04:08,620 Yeah, but at least other people tried to help him. Yeah, but at least other people tried to help him.
52 00:04:17,660 00:04:19,660 He'd, uh, been drinking a fair bit. He'd, uh, been drinking a fair bit.
53 00:04:20,300 00:04:24,380 He seemed a bit, um...you know, out of sorts, I guess. He seemed a bit, um...you know, out of sorts, I guess.
54 00:04:25,260 00:04:27,320 Right. Right.
55 00:04:27,420 00:04:29,420 Never wanted to go home, you know? Never wanted to go home, you know?
56 00:04:30,260 00:04:32,260 He always wanted one more. He always wanted one more.
57 00:04:33,660 00:04:35,780 Got into a few scraps. Got into a few scraps.
58 00:04:36,420 00:04:40,060 Nothing serious, just...thought it was a laugh. Nothing serious, just...thought it was a laugh.
59 00:04:41,020 00:04:43,020 I tried talking to him, but... I tried talking to him, but...
60 00:05:05,340 00:05:07,340 You look handsome. You look handsome.
61 00:05:31,580 00:05:33,580 Ready, sweetheart? Ready, sweetheart?
62 00:05:49,220 00:05:51,220 Marianne. Marianne.
63 00:06:29,260 00:06:30,640 Thank you. Thank you.
64 00:06:34,860 00:06:36,480 I'm so sorry. Thanks for the colors. I'm so sorry. Thanks for the colors.
65 00:06:36,580 00:06:38,600 You look great. You look great.
66 00:06:38,700 00:06:40,400 Thank you. Thank you.
67 00:06:40,500 00:06:42,480 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
68 00:06:42,580 00:06:44,660 Thanks, love. Thanks for coming. Thanks, love. Thanks for coming.
69 00:06:50,860 00:06:54,380 Connell. Good man, good man. Connell. Good man, good man.
70 00:06:55,460 00:06:57,460 I hear you're doing great things above in Trinity. I hear you're doing great things above in Trinity.
71 00:06:58,540 00:07:00,540 So sorry. Good man. So sorry. Good man.
72 00:07:02,380 00:07:04,380 Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming.
73 00:07:06,620 00:07:08,620 Thank you. Thank you.
74 00:07:37,620 00:07:39,620 How are things? How are things?
75 00:07:40,380 00:07:42,380 Who's this? Uh... Who's this? Uh...
76 00:07:42,900 00:07:44,940 Helen. Uh, this is Eric. Helen. Uh, this is Eric.
77 00:07:46,620 00:07:48,620 Girlfriend, is it? Yeah. Girlfriend, is it? Yeah.
78 00:07:49,900 00:07:51,680 Must be your fault this fella never comes home anymore. Must be your fault this fella never comes home anymore.
79 00:07:51,780 00:07:53,780 No, it's not her fault. It's my fault. No, it's not her fault. It's my fault.
80 00:07:55,500 00:07:57,500 I'm just messing. I'm just messing.
81 00:08:03,820 00:08:05,680 Good of Marianne to come. Good of Marianne to come.
82 00:08:05,780 00:08:07,280 I thought she was off in Sweden or someplace. I thought she was off in Sweden or someplace.
83 00:08:07,380 00:08:09,540 Yeah, she was. She's back for the funeral. Yeah, she was. She's back for the funeral.
84 00:08:10,500 00:08:12,940 She's gone very thin, hasn't she? She's gone very thin, hasn't she?
85 00:08:14,860 00:08:16,800 Here's herself. Here's herself.
86 00:08:16,900 00:08:18,960 Very good to have come all the way from Sweden, Marianne. Very good to have come all the way from Sweden, Marianne.
87 00:08:19,060 00:08:21,060 It's nice to see you. It's nice to see you.
88 00:08:25,980 00:08:27,980 Do you know Helen here? Do you know Helen here?
89 00:08:29,220 00:08:31,380 Course I do. We were in college together. Course I do. We were in college together.
90 00:08:32,420 00:08:34,420 Hello, Helen. Hello, Helen.
91 00:08:35,220 00:08:37,220 It's all friendly, I hope. It's all friendly, I hope.
92 00:08:38,060 00:08:39,640 No rivalry, I mean. No rivalry, I mean.
93 00:08:39,740 00:08:41,740 Behave yourself now. Behave yourself now.
94 00:08:53,420 00:08:55,620 Why didn't you introduce me to any of your friends? Why didn't you introduce me to any of your friends?
95 00:08:58,500 00:09:00,600 I introduced you to Eric, didn't I? I introduced you to Eric, didn't I?
96 00:09:00,700 00:09:02,760 Only after he asked. Only after he asked.
97 00:09:02,860 00:09:05,380 To be honest, you didn't seem like you really wanted him to meet me. To be honest, you didn't seem like you really wanted him to meet me.
98 00:09:11,460 00:09:13,900 If you didn't want me to come, you shouldn't have asked me. If you didn't want me to come, you shouldn't have asked me.
99 00:09:16,140 00:09:18,140 Okay, I'm sorry I asked you, then. Okay, I'm sorry I asked you, then.
100 00:09:19,500 00:09:21,720 What does that mean? What does that mean?
101 00:09:21,820 00:09:23,640 You're sorry I was there? No. You're sorry I was there? No.
102 00:09:23,740 00:09:25,320 I'm saying if you got the wrong impression I'm saying if you got the wrong impression
103 00:09:25,420 00:09:27,540 of what it was gonna be like, then I'm sorry. of what it was gonna be like, then I'm sorry.
104 00:09:29,780 00:09:31,920 You didn't want me there at all, did you? You didn't want me there at all, did you?
105 00:09:32,020 00:09:34,260 I didn't want to be there myself, to be honest. I didn't want to be there myself, to be honest.
106 00:09:35,980 00:09:37,320 Look, I'm sorry you didn't have a good time. Look, I'm sorry you didn't have a good time.
107 00:09:37,420 00:09:38,560 But like, it was a funeral. But like, it was a funeral.
108 00:09:38,660 00:09:40,660 Don't really know what you expected. Don't really know what you expected.
109 00:09:48,140 00:09:50,140 Well, you weren't ignoring Marianne. Well, you weren't ignoring Marianne.
110 00:09:50,540 00:09:52,280 I wasn't ignoring anyone. I wasn't ignoring anyone.
111 00:09:52,380 00:09:54,400 But you just seemed particularly happy to see her. But you just seemed particularly happy to see her.
112 00:09:54,500 00:09:56,360 For fuck's sake, Helen. What? For fuck's sake, Helen. What?
113 00:09:56,460 00:09:58,580 I mean, does every argument have to come back to this? I mean, does every argument have to come back to this?
114 00:10:00,820 00:10:03,200 Our friend just killed himself, and now, you want to start Our friend just killed himself, and now, you want to start
115 00:10:03,300 00:10:05,340 going at me about Marianne. Like, seriously? going at me about Marianne. Like, seriously?
116 00:10:08,020 00:10:10,040 And yeah. And yeah.
117 00:10:10,140 00:10:12,340 I was happy to see her. Does that make me a monster? I was happy to see her. Does that make me a monster?
118 00:10:14,940 00:10:17,640 I've been very sympathetic about Rob and you know that. I've been very sympathetic about Rob and you know that.
119 00:10:17,740 00:10:20,440 But what do you expect me to do? Just pretend I don't notice But what do you expect me to do? Just pretend I don't notice
120 00:10:20,540 00:10:22,000 you're staring at another woman in front of me. you're staring at another woman in front of me.
121 00:10:22,100 00:10:24,920 No, I was not staring at her. You were, in the church. No, I was not staring at her. You were, in the church.
122 00:10:25,020 00:10:27,020 It wasn't intentional. It wasn't intentional.
123 00:10:32,140 00:10:34,140 Why do you have to act so weird around her? Why do you have to act so weird around her?
124 00:10:35,460 00:10:37,740 How I act with her is my normal personality. How I act with her is my normal personality.
125 00:10:38,860 00:10:41,940 I'm...maybe I'm just a weird person. I'm...maybe I'm just a weird person.
126 00:11:11,300 00:11:12,880 Most of you will, I hope, Most of you will, I hope,
127 00:11:12,980 00:11:14,720 have picked up on the fact that... have picked up on the fact that...
128 00:11:25,940 00:11:28,940 This dismantling of the family trope is fairly radical. This dismantling of the family trope is fairly radical.
129 00:11:29,420 00:11:32,800 The constitution itself quite literally defined the Irish... The constitution itself quite literally defined the Irish...
130 00:12:17,140 00:12:19,000 Like I want to be there for you Like I want to be there for you
131 00:12:19,100 00:12:21,660 but you just won't let me. but you just won't let me.
132 00:12:24,260 00:12:26,260 I have tried. I have tried.
133 00:12:27,100 00:12:30,220 And I feel like I'm holding on to other, like, And I feel like I'm holding on to other, like,
134 00:12:30,860 00:12:34,660 frankly legitimate worries or whatever frankly legitimate worries or whatever
135 00:12:35,340 00:12:37,340 that existed before all this. that existed before all this.
136 00:12:38,580 00:12:40,940 Before you felt like this. Before you felt like this.
137 00:12:42,300 00:12:44,440 And I can't sit on them 'cause you're feeling so low. And I can't sit on them 'cause you're feeling so low.
138 00:12:44,540 00:12:46,540 That's just not fair. That's just not fair.
139 00:12:48,380 00:12:50,380 I really care about you. I really care about you.
140 00:12:51,100 00:12:53,100 I hate seeing you like this. I hate seeing you like this.
141 00:12:54,620 00:12:56,740 But I don't think this is working anymore. But I don't think this is working anymore.
142 00:12:59,020 00:13:02,700 I don't know if this was all the way working before, and now... I don't know if this was all the way working before, and now...
143 00:13:04,300 00:13:07,380 all this is just like... all this is just like...
144 00:13:08,300 00:13:10,700 exacerbated it, and... exacerbated it, and...
145 00:13:12,620 00:13:14,620 Okay. Okay.
146 00:13:18,380 00:13:20,380 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
147 00:13:24,060 00:13:26,060 I'm sorry too. I'm sorry too.
148 00:13:35,060 00:13:37,060 Do you have friends here in Dublin? Do you have friends here in Dublin?
149 00:13:38,420 00:13:39,760 Anyone you're close with Anyone you're close with
150 00:13:39,860 00:13:41,940 that you might talk to about how you're feeling. that you might talk to about how you're feeling.
151 00:13:45,420 00:13:47,420 Um... Um...
152 00:13:49,180 00:13:51,000 Niall, maybe. Niall, maybe.
153 00:13:51,100 00:13:53,140 He's the one who told me about this. He's the one who told me about this.
154 00:13:54,780 00:13:56,780 Well, that's good. Well, that's good.
155 00:13:57,380 00:13:59,380 He's looking out for you. He's looking out for you.
156 00:14:00,500 00:14:02,600 Niall. Niall.
157 00:14:02,700 00:14:04,700 Okay. Okay.
158 00:14:05,940 00:14:08,740 I have another friend that I'm pretty close with but, um... I have another friend that I'm pretty close with but, um...
159 00:14:09,820 00:14:11,820 she's on Erasmus this year. she's on Erasmus this year.
160 00:14:16,420 00:14:18,860 I'm sorry. That sounds awful. I'm sorry. That sounds awful.
161 00:14:19,900 00:14:22,560 I liked Helen. Hmm. I liked Helen. Hmm.
162 00:14:22,660 00:14:26,360 I did. I genuinely did. I did. I genuinely did.
163 00:14:26,460 00:14:30,240 I know she wasn't entirely fond of me, but... I know she wasn't entirely fond of me, but...
164 00:14:30,340 00:14:32,340 it's hard to ignore that she made you happy. it's hard to ignore that she made you happy.
165 00:14:32,700 00:14:34,700 I, I don't know. I, I don't know.
166 00:14:35,300 00:14:37,300 I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything.
167 00:14:38,100 00:14:40,100 Then I... Then I...
168 00:14:41,140 00:14:44,240 I find myself crying or having a panic attack I find myself crying or having a panic attack
169 00:14:44,340 00:14:46,780 so presumably, I do feel it. Just, uh... so presumably, I do feel it. Just, uh...
170 00:14:48,580 00:14:50,580 It just doesn't connect. It just doesn't connect.
171 00:14:53,900 00:14:55,900 I understand. I understand.
172 00:14:57,980 00:14:59,980 I know you do. I know you do.
173 00:15:03,340 00:15:05,340 I'm really tired. I'm really tired.
174 00:15:06,940 00:15:08,940 You want to sleep? You want to sleep?
175 00:15:10,100 00:15:12,100 We can keep Skype on. We can keep Skype on.
176 00:15:14,580 00:15:16,580 Carry me over to your bed. Carry me over to your bed.
177 00:16:09,220 00:16:11,220 Is she a friend from college? Is she a friend from college?
178 00:16:11,660 00:16:13,480 We were in school together. We were in school together.
179 00:16:13,580 00:16:17,020 But, uh, she's in Trinity as well. It's Marianne. But, uh, she's in Trinity as well. It's Marianne.
180 00:16:19,820 00:16:22,340 She knew Rob, our friend who died. She knew Rob, our friend who died.
181 00:16:22,780 00:16:24,800 But, um... But, um...
182 00:16:24,900 00:16:26,980 she's away this year, like I said. she's away this year, like I said.
183 00:16:53,460 00:16:55,460 You're awake. You're awake.
184 00:16:57,780 00:16:59,780 Morning. Morning.
185 00:17:11,900 00:17:14,500 Is she someone you might talk with about how you're feeling? Is she someone you might talk with about how you're feeling?
186 00:17:15,660 00:17:17,660 She's been supportive about it. She's been supportive about it.
187 00:17:19,060 00:17:21,060 And she's, um... And she's, um...
188 00:17:24,220 00:17:26,200 She's hard to describe, if you don't know her. She's hard to describe, if you don't know her.
189 00:17:26,300 00:17:28,300 She's, um... She's, um...
190 00:17:29,180 00:17:31,180 she's really smart. she's really smart.
191 00:17:32,260 00:17:34,260 She's a lot smarter than me. She's a lot smarter than me.
192 00:17:36,580 00:17:39,900 We, we see the world in a similar way. And, uh... We, we see the world in a similar way. And, uh...
193 00:17:42,300 00:17:44,360 we've lived our life in the same place. we've lived our life in the same place.
194 00:17:44,460 00:17:46,460 So obviously, it's, um... So obviously, it's, um...
195 00:17:48,860 00:17:50,860 It's a bit different being away from her. It's a bit different being away from her.
196 00:17:53,860 00:17:55,860 It sounds difficult. Mm-hmm. It sounds difficult. Mm-hmm.
197 00:17:58,460 00:18:01,860 I don't really click with a lot of people. I don't really click with a lot of people.
198 00:18:02,500 00:18:04,540 I, I struggle with that, actually. I, I struggle with that, actually.
199 00:18:08,460 00:18:10,600 Do you think that's a new problem? Do you think that's a new problem?
200 00:18:10,700 00:18:14,180 Or is it familiar to you? Or is it familiar to you?
201 00:18:15,180 00:18:17,180 Mm. Mm.
202 00:18:17,980 00:18:20,020 It's, uh, familiar. It's, uh, familiar.
203 00:18:20,900 00:18:22,900 I would say, um... I would say, um...
204 00:18:25,060 00:18:27,100 in school, I definitely felt that in school, I definitely felt that
205 00:18:28,260 00:18:30,500 feeling of isolation or whatever. But, um... feeling of isolation or whatever. But, um...
206 00:18:34,740 00:18:38,060 People seem to like me. Everything, and... People seem to like me. Everything, and...
207 00:18:40,220 00:18:43,260 here, I don't think that, uh... here, I don't think that, uh...
208 00:18:47,180 00:18:49,220 people like me that much. people like me that much.
209 00:18:53,580 00:18:56,260 Uh, like Rob, my friend who, uh... Uh, like Rob, my friend who, uh...
210 00:18:57,940 00:19:00,720 um, I wouldn't say that we clicked um, I wouldn't say that we clicked
211 00:19:00,820 00:19:04,080 on a very deep level or anything. on a very deep level or anything.
212 00:19:04,180 00:19:07,540 But, um, we were friends. But, um, we were friends.
213 00:19:08,940 00:19:10,940 And, uh... And, uh...
214 00:19:11,700 00:19:12,920 I wouldn't say that we had a lot in common I wouldn't say that we had a lot in common
215 00:19:13,020 00:19:15,180 in terms of interests or anything like that. in terms of interests or anything like that.
216 00:19:16,740 00:19:18,520 Definitely not politically, Definitely not politically,
217 00:19:18,620 00:19:21,140 if we ever really examined that. But, um... if we ever really examined that. But, um...
218 00:19:25,940 00:19:27,980 That stuff didn't really matter in school. That stuff didn't really matter in school.
219 00:19:29,740 00:19:31,720 'Cause we were, we were in the same 'Cause we were, we were in the same
220 00:19:31,820 00:19:33,920 group of friends, so, you know? group of friends, so, you know?
221 00:19:34,020 00:19:36,020 I understand that. I understand that.
222 00:19:37,420 00:19:41,660 And, uh, he...he did some stuff that I, uh... And, uh, he...he did some stuff that I, uh...
223 00:19:42,860 00:19:45,760 I wouldn't have been a fan of, in terms of, like with girls. I wouldn't have been a fan of, in terms of, like with girls.
224 00:19:45,860 00:19:47,860 But, uh... But, uh...
225 00:19:51,540 00:19:53,980 We were 18, you know. We just, uh... We were 18, you know. We just, uh...
226 00:19:55,940 00:19:58,300 we acted like idiots, and, uh... we acted like idiots, and, uh...
227 00:20:01,380 00:20:03,200 I think... I think...
228 00:20:03,300 00:20:06,340 I felt a bit alienated with that stuff. I felt a bit alienated with that stuff.
229 00:20:08,500 00:20:10,500 And, uh... And, uh...
230 00:20:13,380 00:20:16,500 I think-I think I thought if I... I think-I think I thought if I...
231 00:20:17,780 00:20:19,780 moved here... moved here...
232 00:20:20,700 00:20:22,700 I'd fit in better. I'd fit in better.
233 00:20:23,460 00:20:25,460 I thought, um... I thought, um...
234 00:20:27,660 00:20:31,100 I'd meet more like-minded people but that just hasn't... I'd meet more like-minded people but that just hasn't...
235 00:20:32,140 00:20:34,140 um... um...
236 00:20:45,100 00:20:49,900 I left Carricklea thinking I could have a different life. I left Carricklea thinking I could have a different life.
237 00:20:54,660 00:20:58,860 But I...I hate it here and... But I...I hate it here and...
238 00:21:00,940 00:21:02,940 I can never go back. I can never go back.
239 00:21:05,300 00:21:07,660 Because those friendships are gone, and... Because those friendships are gone, and...
240 00:21:11,980 00:21:15,940 and Rob is gone and I, I can't see him again. and Rob is gone and I, I can't see him again.
241 00:21:19,900 00:21:21,900 I can't get that life back. I can't get that life back.
242 00:21:22,580 00:21:25,360 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
243 00:21:25,460 00:21:27,460 You don't need to apologize. You don't need to apologize.
244 00:22:28,180 00:22:30,180 She sounds nice. She sounds nice.
245 00:22:30,980 00:22:32,980 Yeah. Sounds good. Yeah. Sounds good.
246 00:22:34,500 00:22:36,560 Yeah. Yeah.
247 00:22:36,660 00:22:38,200 Well done, Niall. Well done, Niall.
248 00:22:42,220 00:22:44,220 How do you feel now? How do you feel now?
249 00:22:45,100 00:22:47,460 Uh, okay. Uh, okay.
250 00:22:47,820 00:22:49,820 Just, um... Just, um...
251 00:22:50,980 00:22:52,980 Flat, I guess. Flat, I guess.
252 00:22:53,940 00:22:55,940 Mm. Mm.
253 00:22:56,340 00:22:58,340 What? What?
254 00:23:01,300 00:23:03,300 Do you ever feel... Do you ever feel...
255 00:23:03,860 00:23:05,880 I don't know. I don't know.
256 00:23:05,980 00:23:07,980 Angry? Angry?
257 00:23:08,740 00:23:10,740 Uh, about? Uh, about?
258 00:23:11,140 00:23:13,200 About Rob. About Rob.
259 00:23:13,300 00:23:16,140 After the funeral, did you feel angry? After the funeral, did you feel angry?
260 00:23:17,340 00:23:19,540 With him? No. With him? No.
261 00:23:20,300 00:23:22,280 No, geez, no. No, geez, no.
262 00:23:22,380 00:23:25,820 I know that's...that people feel that when someone... I know that's...that people feel that when someone...
263 00:23:29,420 00:23:31,420 I couldn't get off Facebook. I couldn't get off Facebook.
264 00:23:33,380 00:23:36,120 Everyone kept commenting on his wall. Everyone kept commenting on his wall.
265 00:23:36,220 00:23:38,300 Yeah. Like, it made me furious. Yeah. Like, it made me furious.
266 00:23:39,100 00:23:41,240 Like, what do they mean? Like, what do they mean?
267 00:23:41,340 00:23:44,960 All these people, like advertising their loss like that. All these people, like advertising their loss like that.
268 00:23:45,060 00:23:48,100 And who's it for? Not Rob, obviously. And who's it for? Not Rob, obviously.
269 00:23:49,260 00:23:50,800 And, like, what's the etiquette there? And, like, what's the etiquette there?
270 00:23:50,900 00:23:53,140 Should I be liking every comment on his wall? Should I be liking every comment on his wall?
271 00:23:53,460 00:23:56,000 Well, it sounds like you've worked through that anger. Well, it sounds like you've worked through that anger.
272 00:23:57,020 00:23:59,020 No. No.
273 00:23:59,540 00:24:03,020 Of course, people can grieve how they want. Of course, people can grieve how they want.
274 00:24:05,260 00:24:07,340 Sorry. I get it. Sorry. I get it.
275 00:24:09,140 00:24:11,140 It feels a bit pointless. It feels a bit pointless.
276 00:24:11,460 00:24:13,460 Yeah, I think that's it. Yeah, I think that's it.
277 00:24:15,140 00:24:17,740 And everyone kept talking about... And everyone kept talking about...
278 00:24:19,460 00:24:21,360 what a great person he was. what a great person he was.
279 00:24:21,460 00:24:25,940 How full of life, what a devoted son, and I get it. How full of life, what a devoted son, and I get it.
280 00:24:27,780 00:24:29,780 But what, was that him? But what, was that him?
281 00:24:32,540 00:24:34,540 No. No.
282 00:24:36,020 00:24:38,020 He was insecure. He was insecure.
283 00:24:39,340 00:24:41,340 Obsessed with being liked. Obsessed with being liked.
284 00:24:41,700 00:24:46,220 I mean, I know I can talk. But... I mean, I know I can talk. But...
285 00:24:52,740 00:24:54,740 I miss you. I miss you.
286 00:24:57,420 00:24:59,420 I miss you, too, Connell. I miss you, too, Connell.
287 00:25:07,060 00:25:09,040 (Everything I Am Is Yours By Villagers) (Everything I Am Is Yours By Villagers)
288 00:25:22,300 00:25:25,620 * I am just a man * * I am just a man *
289 00:25:26,620 00:25:29,780 * Tipping on the wire * * Tipping on the wire *
290 00:25:31,020 00:25:35,360 * Tight rope walking fool * * Tight rope walking fool *
291 00:25:35,460 00:25:38,660 * Balanced on desire * * Balanced on desire *
292 00:25:39,780 00:25:42,860 * I cannot control * * I cannot control *
293 00:25:43,940 00:25:47,420 * These ever changing ways * * These ever changing ways *
294 00:25:48,300 00:25:52,480 * So how can I be sure * * So how can I be sure *
295 00:25:52,580 00:25:55,780 * The feeling will remain * * The feeling will remain *
296 00:25:58,660 00:26:01,380 * But everything I am * * But everything I am *
296 00:25:58,660 00:26:01,380 * But everything I am * * But everything I am *