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1 | 00:00:22,460 | 00:00:24,460 | You should go and talk to someone. | You should go and talk to someone. |
2 | 00:00:26,860 | 00:00:28,860 | Are you sleeping? | Are you sleeping? |
3 | 00:00:31,460 | 00:00:33,740 | There's like, uh, like a service. | There's like, uh, like a service. |
4 | 00:00:34,820 | 00:00:37,140 | It's free. You might as well. | It's free. You might as well. |
5 | 00:00:43,700 | 00:00:45,700 | Connell? | Connell? |
6 | 00:00:46,740 | 00:00:48,740 | Would you like to come with me? | Would you like to come with me? |
7 | 00:00:53,740 | 00:00:58,160 | Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, | Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, |
8 | 00:00:58,260 | 00:01:01,960 | five, four, three, two, one. | five, four, three, two, one. |
9 | 00:01:02,060 | 00:01:04,800 | Happy New Year! | Happy New Year! |
10 | 00:01:22,660 | 00:01:24,660 | Happy New Year! Happy New Year. | Happy New Year! Happy New Year. |
11 | 00:01:26,660 | 00:01:28,660 | Happy New Year, you. | Happy New Year, you. |
12 | 00:01:39,060 | 00:01:40,320 | Who is it? | Who is it? |
13 | 00:01:40,420 | 00:01:42,660 | Uh, it's just an old school friend. | Uh, it's just an old school friend. |
14 | 00:01:45,940 | 00:01:47,940 | You okay? | You okay? |
15 | 00:01:50,380 | 00:01:53,720 | Uh, yeah. It's just a Happy New Year thing. | Uh, yeah. It's just a Happy New Year thing. |
16 | 00:01:53,820 | 00:01:55,820 | Happy New Year! | Happy New Year! |
17 | 00:02:00,540 | 00:02:02,440 | What do you mean? | What do you mean? |
18 | 00:02:02,540 | 00:02:04,480 | Are you on your own? | Are you on your own? |
19 | 00:02:04,580 | 00:02:07,260 | No, I'm with Helen. What do you mean, a body? | No, I'm with Helen. What do you mean, a body? |
20 | 00:02:08,140 | 00:02:09,240 | Whose body, what? | Whose body, what? |
21 | 00:02:09,340 | 00:02:11,320 | Rob Hegarty, sweetheart. | Rob Hegarty, sweetheart. |
22 | 00:02:11,420 | 00:02:14,140 | They pulled a body out of the river this morning. | They pulled a body out of the river this morning. |
23 | 00:02:30,940 | 00:02:34,580 | Okay, why don't we talk about how you're feeling. | Okay, why don't we talk about how you're feeling. |
24 | 00:02:38,620 | 00:02:41,020 | Uh, yeah, not great. | Uh, yeah, not great. |
25 | 00:02:44,460 | 00:02:46,460 | I'm sorry to hear that. | I'm sorry to hear that. |
26 | 00:02:49,100 | 00:02:51,100 | When did you start feeling this way? | When did you start feeling this way? |
27 | 00:02:52,100 | 00:02:53,880 | Uh... | Uh... |
28 | 00:02:53,980 | 00:02:55,980 | a couple of months ago. | a couple of months ago. |
29 | 00:02:56,580 | 00:02:58,400 | January, I suppose. | January, I suppose. |
30 | 00:02:58,500 | 00:03:00,500 | Okay. | Okay. |
31 | 00:03:02,380 | 00:03:04,160 | Did something happen then, or did it just | Did something happen then, or did it just |
32 | 00:03:04,260 | 00:03:06,260 | come out of nowhere, do you feel? | come out of nowhere, do you feel? |
33 | 00:03:07,300 | 00:03:09,940 | A friend of mine killed himself in January. | A friend of mine killed himself in January. |
34 | 00:03:12,500 | 00:03:14,500 | A friend from school. | A friend from school. |
35 | 00:03:17,380 | 00:03:19,380 | I'm very sorry to hear that, Connell. | I'm very sorry to hear that, Connell. |
36 | 00:03:20,020 | 00:03:22,760 | We, we hadn't really kept up with each other after college. | We, we hadn't really kept up with each other after college. |
37 | 00:03:22,860 | 00:03:25,000 | 'Cause he was, uh... | 'Cause he was, uh... |
38 | 00:03:25,100 | 00:03:26,320 | He was just back in Sligo | He was just back in Sligo |
39 | 00:03:26,420 | 00:03:28,420 | and I was up here and everything, and, um... | and I was up here and everything, and, um... |
40 | 00:03:31,580 | 00:03:34,500 | I guess I just feel guilty that I wasn't in touch with him more. | I guess I just feel guilty that I wasn't in touch with him more. |
41 | 00:03:35,860 | 00:03:38,000 | I can understand that. | I can understand that. |
42 | 00:03:38,100 | 00:03:40,000 | But however you might be feeling about your friend, | But however you might be feeling about your friend, |
43 | 00:03:40,100 | 00:03:42,100 | what happened to him is not your fault. | what happened to him is not your fault. |
44 | 00:03:43,980 | 00:03:46,940 | You are not responsible for the decisions he made. | You are not responsible for the decisions he made. |
45 | 00:03:47,500 | 00:03:50,220 | I never even replied to the last message he sent me. | I never even replied to the last message he sent me. |
46 | 00:03:53,580 | 00:03:55,580 | When you lose someone to suicide, | When you lose someone to suicide, |
47 | 00:03:56,060 | 00:03:58,640 | it can be natural to wonder if there's any more you could have done | it can be natural to wonder if there's any more you could have done |
48 | 00:03:58,740 | 00:04:00,740 | in order to help this person. | in order to help this person. |
49 | 00:04:02,380 | 00:04:04,360 | I'm sure everyone in your friend's life | I'm sure everyone in your friend's life |
50 | 00:04:04,460 | 00:04:06,520 | is asking themselves the same questions now. | is asking themselves the same questions now. |
51 | 00:04:06,620 | 00:04:08,620 | Yeah, but at least other people tried to help him. | Yeah, but at least other people tried to help him. |
52 | 00:04:17,660 | 00:04:19,660 | He'd, uh, been drinking a fair bit. | He'd, uh, been drinking a fair bit. |
53 | 00:04:20,300 | 00:04:24,380 | He seemed a bit, um...you know, out of sorts, I guess. | He seemed a bit, um...you know, out of sorts, I guess. |
54 | 00:04:25,260 | 00:04:27,320 | Right. | Right. |
55 | 00:04:27,420 | 00:04:29,420 | Never wanted to go home, you know? | Never wanted to go home, you know? |
56 | 00:04:30,260 | 00:04:32,260 | He always wanted one more. | He always wanted one more. |
57 | 00:04:33,660 | 00:04:35,780 | Got into a few scraps. | Got into a few scraps. |
58 | 00:04:36,420 | 00:04:40,060 | Nothing serious, just...thought it was a laugh. | Nothing serious, just...thought it was a laugh. |
59 | 00:04:41,020 | 00:04:43,020 | I tried talking to him, but... | I tried talking to him, but... |
60 | 00:05:05,340 | 00:05:07,340 | You look handsome. | You look handsome. |
61 | 00:05:31,580 | 00:05:33,580 | Ready, sweetheart? | Ready, sweetheart? |
62 | 00:05:49,220 | 00:05:51,220 | Marianne. | Marianne. |
63 | 00:06:29,260 | 00:06:30,640 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
64 | 00:06:34,860 | 00:06:36,480 | I'm so sorry. Thanks for the colors. | I'm so sorry. Thanks for the colors. |
65 | 00:06:36,580 | 00:06:38,600 | You look great. | You look great. |
66 | 00:06:38,700 | 00:06:40,400 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
67 | 00:06:40,500 | 00:06:42,480 | I'm so sorry. | I'm so sorry. |
68 | 00:06:42,580 | 00:06:44,660 | Thanks, love. Thanks for coming. | Thanks, love. Thanks for coming. |
69 | 00:06:50,860 | 00:06:54,380 | Connell. Good man, good man. | Connell. Good man, good man. |
70 | 00:06:55,460 | 00:06:57,460 | I hear you're doing great things above in Trinity. | I hear you're doing great things above in Trinity. |
71 | 00:06:58,540 | 00:07:00,540 | So sorry. Good man. | So sorry. Good man. |
72 | 00:07:02,380 | 00:07:04,380 | Thanks for coming. | Thanks for coming. |
73 | 00:07:06,620 | 00:07:08,620 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
74 | 00:07:37,620 | 00:07:39,620 | How are things? | How are things? |
75 | 00:07:40,380 | 00:07:42,380 | Who's this? Uh... | Who's this? Uh... |
76 | 00:07:42,900 | 00:07:44,940 | Helen. Uh, this is Eric. | Helen. Uh, this is Eric. |
77 | 00:07:46,620 | 00:07:48,620 | Girlfriend, is it? Yeah. | Girlfriend, is it? Yeah. |
78 | 00:07:49,900 | 00:07:51,680 | Must be your fault this fella never comes home anymore. | Must be your fault this fella never comes home anymore. |
79 | 00:07:51,780 | 00:07:53,780 | No, it's not her fault. It's my fault. | No, it's not her fault. It's my fault. |
80 | 00:07:55,500 | 00:07:57,500 | I'm just messing. | I'm just messing. |
81 | 00:08:03,820 | 00:08:05,680 | Good of Marianne to come. | Good of Marianne to come. |
82 | 00:08:05,780 | 00:08:07,280 | I thought she was off in Sweden or someplace. | I thought she was off in Sweden or someplace. |
83 | 00:08:07,380 | 00:08:09,540 | Yeah, she was. She's back for the funeral. | Yeah, she was. She's back for the funeral. |
84 | 00:08:10,500 | 00:08:12,940 | She's gone very thin, hasn't she? | She's gone very thin, hasn't she? |
85 | 00:08:14,860 | 00:08:16,800 | Here's herself. | Here's herself. |
86 | 00:08:16,900 | 00:08:18,960 | Very good to have come all the way from Sweden, Marianne. | Very good to have come all the way from Sweden, Marianne. |
87 | 00:08:19,060 | 00:08:21,060 | It's nice to see you. | It's nice to see you. |
88 | 00:08:25,980 | 00:08:27,980 | Do you know Helen here? | Do you know Helen here? |
89 | 00:08:29,220 | 00:08:31,380 | Course I do. We were in college together. | Course I do. We were in college together. |
90 | 00:08:32,420 | 00:08:34,420 | Hello, Helen. | Hello, Helen. |
91 | 00:08:35,220 | 00:08:37,220 | It's all friendly, I hope. | It's all friendly, I hope. |
92 | 00:08:38,060 | 00:08:39,640 | No rivalry, I mean. | No rivalry, I mean. |
93 | 00:08:39,740 | 00:08:41,740 | Behave yourself now. | Behave yourself now. |
94 | 00:08:53,420 | 00:08:55,620 | Why didn't you introduce me to any of your friends? | Why didn't you introduce me to any of your friends? |
95 | 00:08:58,500 | 00:09:00,600 | I introduced you to Eric, didn't I? | I introduced you to Eric, didn't I? |
96 | 00:09:00,700 | 00:09:02,760 | Only after he asked. | Only after he asked. |
97 | 00:09:02,860 | 00:09:05,380 | To be honest, you didn't seem like you really wanted him to meet me. | To be honest, you didn't seem like you really wanted him to meet me. |
98 | 00:09:11,460 | 00:09:13,900 | If you didn't want me to come, you shouldn't have asked me. | If you didn't want me to come, you shouldn't have asked me. |
99 | 00:09:16,140 | 00:09:18,140 | Okay, I'm sorry I asked you, then. | Okay, I'm sorry I asked you, then. |
100 | 00:09:19,500 | 00:09:21,720 | What does that mean? | What does that mean? |
101 | 00:09:21,820 | 00:09:23,640 | You're sorry I was there? No. | You're sorry I was there? No. |
102 | 00:09:23,740 | 00:09:25,320 | I'm saying if you got the wrong impression | I'm saying if you got the wrong impression |
103 | 00:09:25,420 | 00:09:27,540 | of what it was gonna be like, then I'm sorry. | of what it was gonna be like, then I'm sorry. |
104 | 00:09:29,780 | 00:09:31,920 | You didn't want me there at all, did you? | You didn't want me there at all, did you? |
105 | 00:09:32,020 | 00:09:34,260 | I didn't want to be there myself, to be honest. | I didn't want to be there myself, to be honest. |
106 | 00:09:35,980 | 00:09:37,320 | Look, I'm sorry you didn't have a good time. | Look, I'm sorry you didn't have a good time. |
107 | 00:09:37,420 | 00:09:38,560 | But like, it was a funeral. | But like, it was a funeral. |
108 | 00:09:38,660 | 00:09:40,660 | Don't really know what you expected. | Don't really know what you expected. |
109 | 00:09:48,140 | 00:09:50,140 | Well, you weren't ignoring Marianne. | Well, you weren't ignoring Marianne. |
110 | 00:09:50,540 | 00:09:52,280 | I wasn't ignoring anyone. | I wasn't ignoring anyone. |
111 | 00:09:52,380 | 00:09:54,400 | But you just seemed particularly happy to see her. | But you just seemed particularly happy to see her. |
112 | 00:09:54,500 | 00:09:56,360 | For fuck's sake, Helen. What? | For fuck's sake, Helen. What? |
113 | 00:09:56,460 | 00:09:58,580 | I mean, does every argument have to come back to this? | I mean, does every argument have to come back to this? |
114 | 00:10:00,820 | 00:10:03,200 | Our friend just killed himself, and now, you want to start | Our friend just killed himself, and now, you want to start |
115 | 00:10:03,300 | 00:10:05,340 | going at me about Marianne. Like, seriously? | going at me about Marianne. Like, seriously? |
116 | 00:10:08,020 | 00:10:10,040 | And yeah. | And yeah. |
117 | 00:10:10,140 | 00:10:12,340 | I was happy to see her. Does that make me a monster? | I was happy to see her. Does that make me a monster? |
118 | 00:10:14,940 | 00:10:17,640 | I've been very sympathetic about Rob and you know that. | I've been very sympathetic about Rob and you know that. |
119 | 00:10:17,740 | 00:10:20,440 | But what do you expect me to do? Just pretend I don't notice | But what do you expect me to do? Just pretend I don't notice |
120 | 00:10:20,540 | 00:10:22,000 | you're staring at another woman in front of me. | you're staring at another woman in front of me. |
121 | 00:10:22,100 | 00:10:24,920 | No, I was not staring at her. You were, in the church. | No, I was not staring at her. You were, in the church. |
122 | 00:10:25,020 | 00:10:27,020 | It wasn't intentional. | It wasn't intentional. |
123 | 00:10:32,140 | 00:10:34,140 | Why do you have to act so weird around her? | Why do you have to act so weird around her? |
124 | 00:10:35,460 | 00:10:37,740 | How I act with her is my normal personality. | How I act with her is my normal personality. |
125 | 00:10:38,860 | 00:10:41,940 | I'm...maybe I'm just a weird person. | I'm...maybe I'm just a weird person. |
126 | 00:11:11,300 | 00:11:12,880 | Most of you will, I hope, | Most of you will, I hope, |
127 | 00:11:12,980 | 00:11:14,720 | have picked up on the fact that... | have picked up on the fact that... |
128 | 00:11:25,940 | 00:11:28,940 | This dismantling of the family trope is fairly radical. | This dismantling of the family trope is fairly radical. |
129 | 00:11:29,420 | 00:11:32,800 | The constitution itself quite literally defined the Irish... | The constitution itself quite literally defined the Irish... |
130 | 00:12:17,140 | 00:12:19,000 | Like I want to be there for you | Like I want to be there for you |
131 | 00:12:19,100 | 00:12:21,660 | but you just won't let me. | but you just won't let me. |
132 | 00:12:24,260 | 00:12:26,260 | I have tried. | I have tried. |
133 | 00:12:27,100 | 00:12:30,220 | And I feel like I'm holding on to other, like, | And I feel like I'm holding on to other, like, |
134 | 00:12:30,860 | 00:12:34,660 | frankly legitimate worries or whatever | frankly legitimate worries or whatever |
135 | 00:12:35,340 | 00:12:37,340 | that existed before all this. | that existed before all this. |
136 | 00:12:38,580 | 00:12:40,940 | Before you felt like this. | Before you felt like this. |
137 | 00:12:42,300 | 00:12:44,440 | And I can't sit on them 'cause you're feeling so low. | And I can't sit on them 'cause you're feeling so low. |
138 | 00:12:44,540 | 00:12:46,540 | That's just not fair. | That's just not fair. |
139 | 00:12:48,380 | 00:12:50,380 | I really care about you. | I really care about you. |
140 | 00:12:51,100 | 00:12:53,100 | I hate seeing you like this. | I hate seeing you like this. |
141 | 00:12:54,620 | 00:12:56,740 | But I don't think this is working anymore. | But I don't think this is working anymore. |
142 | 00:12:59,020 | 00:13:02,700 | I don't know if this was all the way working before, and now... | I don't know if this was all the way working before, and now... |
143 | 00:13:04,300 | 00:13:07,380 | all this is just like... | all this is just like... |
144 | 00:13:08,300 | 00:13:10,700 | exacerbated it, and... | exacerbated it, and... |
145 | 00:13:12,620 | 00:13:14,620 | Okay. | Okay. |
146 | 00:13:18,380 | 00:13:20,380 | I'm sorry. | I'm sorry. |
147 | 00:13:24,060 | 00:13:26,060 | I'm sorry too. | I'm sorry too. |
148 | 00:13:35,060 | 00:13:37,060 | Do you have friends here in Dublin? | Do you have friends here in Dublin? |
149 | 00:13:38,420 | 00:13:39,760 | Anyone you're close with | Anyone you're close with |
150 | 00:13:39,860 | 00:13:41,940 | that you might talk to about how you're feeling. | that you might talk to about how you're feeling. |
151 | 00:13:45,420 | 00:13:47,420 | Um... | Um... |
152 | 00:13:49,180 | 00:13:51,000 | Niall, maybe. | Niall, maybe. |
153 | 00:13:51,100 | 00:13:53,140 | He's the one who told me about this. | He's the one who told me about this. |
154 | 00:13:54,780 | 00:13:56,780 | Well, that's good. | Well, that's good. |
155 | 00:13:57,380 | 00:13:59,380 | He's looking out for you. | He's looking out for you. |
156 | 00:14:00,500 | 00:14:02,600 | Niall. | Niall. |
157 | 00:14:02,700 | 00:14:04,700 | Okay. | Okay. |
158 | 00:14:05,940 | 00:14:08,740 | I have another friend that I'm pretty close with but, um... | I have another friend that I'm pretty close with but, um... |
159 | 00:14:09,820 | 00:14:11,820 | she's on Erasmus this year. | she's on Erasmus this year. |
160 | 00:14:16,420 | 00:14:18,860 | I'm sorry. That sounds awful. | I'm sorry. That sounds awful. |
161 | 00:14:19,900 | 00:14:22,560 | I liked Helen. Hmm. | I liked Helen. Hmm. |
162 | 00:14:22,660 | 00:14:26,360 | I did. I genuinely did. | I did. I genuinely did. |
163 | 00:14:26,460 | 00:14:30,240 | I know she wasn't entirely fond of me, but... | I know she wasn't entirely fond of me, but... |
164 | 00:14:30,340 | 00:14:32,340 | it's hard to ignore that she made you happy. | it's hard to ignore that she made you happy. |
165 | 00:14:32,700 | 00:14:34,700 | I, I don't know. | I, I don't know. |
166 | 00:14:35,300 | 00:14:37,300 | I don't feel anything. | I don't feel anything. |
167 | 00:14:38,100 | 00:14:40,100 | Then I... | Then I... |
168 | 00:14:41,140 | 00:14:44,240 | I find myself crying or having a panic attack | I find myself crying or having a panic attack |
169 | 00:14:44,340 | 00:14:46,780 | so presumably, I do feel it. Just, uh... | so presumably, I do feel it. Just, uh... |
170 | 00:14:48,580 | 00:14:50,580 | It just doesn't connect. | It just doesn't connect. |
171 | 00:14:53,900 | 00:14:55,900 | I understand. | I understand. |
172 | 00:14:57,980 | 00:14:59,980 | I know you do. | I know you do. |
173 | 00:15:03,340 | 00:15:05,340 | I'm really tired. | I'm really tired. |
174 | 00:15:06,940 | 00:15:08,940 | You want to sleep? | You want to sleep? |
175 | 00:15:10,100 | 00:15:12,100 | We can keep Skype on. | We can keep Skype on. |
176 | 00:15:14,580 | 00:15:16,580 | Carry me over to your bed. | Carry me over to your bed. |
177 | 00:16:09,220 | 00:16:11,220 | Is she a friend from college? | Is she a friend from college? |
178 | 00:16:11,660 | 00:16:13,480 | We were in school together. | We were in school together. |
179 | 00:16:13,580 | 00:16:17,020 | But, uh, she's in Trinity as well. It's Marianne. | But, uh, she's in Trinity as well. It's Marianne. |
180 | 00:16:19,820 | 00:16:22,340 | She knew Rob, our friend who died. | She knew Rob, our friend who died. |
181 | 00:16:22,780 | 00:16:24,800 | But, um... | But, um... |
182 | 00:16:24,900 | 00:16:26,980 | she's away this year, like I said. | she's away this year, like I said. |
183 | 00:16:53,460 | 00:16:55,460 | You're awake. | You're awake. |
184 | 00:16:57,780 | 00:16:59,780 | Morning. | Morning. |
185 | 00:17:11,900 | 00:17:14,500 | Is she someone you might talk with about how you're feeling? | Is she someone you might talk with about how you're feeling? |
186 | 00:17:15,660 | 00:17:17,660 | She's been supportive about it. | She's been supportive about it. |
187 | 00:17:19,060 | 00:17:21,060 | And she's, um... | And she's, um... |
188 | 00:17:24,220 | 00:17:26,200 | She's hard to describe, if you don't know her. | She's hard to describe, if you don't know her. |
189 | 00:17:26,300 | 00:17:28,300 | She's, um... | She's, um... |
190 | 00:17:29,180 | 00:17:31,180 | she's really smart. | she's really smart. |
191 | 00:17:32,260 | 00:17:34,260 | She's a lot smarter than me. | She's a lot smarter than me. |
192 | 00:17:36,580 | 00:17:39,900 | We, we see the world in a similar way. And, uh... | We, we see the world in a similar way. And, uh... |
193 | 00:17:42,300 | 00:17:44,360 | we've lived our life in the same place. | we've lived our life in the same place. |
194 | 00:17:44,460 | 00:17:46,460 | So obviously, it's, um... | So obviously, it's, um... |
195 | 00:17:48,860 | 00:17:50,860 | It's a bit different being away from her. | It's a bit different being away from her. |
196 | 00:17:53,860 | 00:17:55,860 | It sounds difficult. Mm-hmm. | It sounds difficult. Mm-hmm. |
197 | 00:17:58,460 | 00:18:01,860 | I don't really click with a lot of people. | I don't really click with a lot of people. |
198 | 00:18:02,500 | 00:18:04,540 | I, I struggle with that, actually. | I, I struggle with that, actually. |
199 | 00:18:08,460 | 00:18:10,600 | Do you think that's a new problem? | Do you think that's a new problem? |
200 | 00:18:10,700 | 00:18:14,180 | Or is it familiar to you? | Or is it familiar to you? |
201 | 00:18:15,180 | 00:18:17,180 | Mm. | Mm. |
202 | 00:18:17,980 | 00:18:20,020 | It's, uh, familiar. | It's, uh, familiar. |
203 | 00:18:20,900 | 00:18:22,900 | I would say, um... | I would say, um... |
204 | 00:18:25,060 | 00:18:27,100 | in school, I definitely felt that | in school, I definitely felt that |
205 | 00:18:28,260 | 00:18:30,500 | feeling of isolation or whatever. But, um... | feeling of isolation or whatever. But, um... |
206 | 00:18:34,740 | 00:18:38,060 | People seem to like me. Everything, and... | People seem to like me. Everything, and... |
207 | 00:18:40,220 | 00:18:43,260 | here, I don't think that, uh... | here, I don't think that, uh... |
208 | 00:18:47,180 | 00:18:49,220 | people like me that much. | people like me that much. |
209 | 00:18:53,580 | 00:18:56,260 | Uh, like Rob, my friend who, uh... | Uh, like Rob, my friend who, uh... |
210 | 00:18:57,940 | 00:19:00,720 | um, I wouldn't say that we clicked | um, I wouldn't say that we clicked |
211 | 00:19:00,820 | 00:19:04,080 | on a very deep level or anything. | on a very deep level or anything. |
212 | 00:19:04,180 | 00:19:07,540 | But, um, we were friends. | But, um, we were friends. |
213 | 00:19:08,940 | 00:19:10,940 | And, uh... | And, uh... |
214 | 00:19:11,700 | 00:19:12,920 | I wouldn't say that we had a lot in common | I wouldn't say that we had a lot in common |
215 | 00:19:13,020 | 00:19:15,180 | in terms of interests or anything like that. | in terms of interests or anything like that. |
216 | 00:19:16,740 | 00:19:18,520 | Definitely not politically, | Definitely not politically, |
217 | 00:19:18,620 | 00:19:21,140 | if we ever really examined that. But, um... | if we ever really examined that. But, um... |
218 | 00:19:25,940 | 00:19:27,980 | That stuff didn't really matter in school. | That stuff didn't really matter in school. |
219 | 00:19:29,740 | 00:19:31,720 | 'Cause we were, we were in the same | 'Cause we were, we were in the same |
220 | 00:19:31,820 | 00:19:33,920 | group of friends, so, you know? | group of friends, so, you know? |
221 | 00:19:34,020 | 00:19:36,020 | I understand that. | I understand that. |
222 | 00:19:37,420 | 00:19:41,660 | And, uh, he...he did some stuff that I, uh... | And, uh, he...he did some stuff that I, uh... |
223 | 00:19:42,860 | 00:19:45,760 | I wouldn't have been a fan of, in terms of, like with girls. | I wouldn't have been a fan of, in terms of, like with girls. |
224 | 00:19:45,860 | 00:19:47,860 | But, uh... | But, uh... |
225 | 00:19:51,540 | 00:19:53,980 | We were 18, you know. We just, uh... | We were 18, you know. We just, uh... |
226 | 00:19:55,940 | 00:19:58,300 | we acted like idiots, and, uh... | we acted like idiots, and, uh... |
227 | 00:20:01,380 | 00:20:03,200 | I think... | I think... |
228 | 00:20:03,300 | 00:20:06,340 | I felt a bit alienated with that stuff. | I felt a bit alienated with that stuff. |
229 | 00:20:08,500 | 00:20:10,500 | And, uh... | And, uh... |
230 | 00:20:13,380 | 00:20:16,500 | I think-I think I thought if I... | I think-I think I thought if I... |
231 | 00:20:17,780 | 00:20:19,780 | moved here... | moved here... |
232 | 00:20:20,700 | 00:20:22,700 | I'd fit in better. | I'd fit in better. |
233 | 00:20:23,460 | 00:20:25,460 | I thought, um... | I thought, um... |
234 | 00:20:27,660 | 00:20:31,100 | I'd meet more like-minded people but that just hasn't... | I'd meet more like-minded people but that just hasn't... |
235 | 00:20:32,140 | 00:20:34,140 | um... | um... |
236 | 00:20:45,100 | 00:20:49,900 | I left Carricklea thinking I could have a different life. | I left Carricklea thinking I could have a different life. |
237 | 00:20:54,660 | 00:20:58,860 | But I...I hate it here and... | But I...I hate it here and... |
238 | 00:21:00,940 | 00:21:02,940 | I can never go back. | I can never go back. |
239 | 00:21:05,300 | 00:21:07,660 | Because those friendships are gone, and... | Because those friendships are gone, and... |
240 | 00:21:11,980 | 00:21:15,940 | and Rob is gone and I, I can't see him again. | and Rob is gone and I, I can't see him again. |
241 | 00:21:19,900 | 00:21:21,900 | I can't get that life back. | I can't get that life back. |
242 | 00:21:22,580 | 00:21:25,360 | I'm sorry. | I'm sorry. |
243 | 00:21:25,460 | 00:21:27,460 | You don't need to apologize. | You don't need to apologize. |
244 | 00:22:28,180 | 00:22:30,180 | She sounds nice. | She sounds nice. |
245 | 00:22:30,980 | 00:22:32,980 | Yeah. Sounds good. | Yeah. Sounds good. |
246 | 00:22:34,500 | 00:22:36,560 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
247 | 00:22:36,660 | 00:22:38,200 | Well done, Niall. | Well done, Niall. |
248 | 00:22:42,220 | 00:22:44,220 | How do you feel now? | How do you feel now? |
249 | 00:22:45,100 | 00:22:47,460 | Uh, okay. | Uh, okay. |
250 | 00:22:47,820 | 00:22:49,820 | Just, um... | Just, um... |
251 | 00:22:50,980 | 00:22:52,980 | Flat, I guess. | Flat, I guess. |
252 | 00:22:53,940 | 00:22:55,940 | Mm. | Mm. |
253 | 00:22:56,340 | 00:22:58,340 | What? | What? |
254 | 00:23:01,300 | 00:23:03,300 | Do you ever feel... | Do you ever feel... |
255 | 00:23:03,860 | 00:23:05,880 | I don't know. | I don't know. |
256 | 00:23:05,980 | 00:23:07,980 | Angry? | Angry? |
257 | 00:23:08,740 | 00:23:10,740 | Uh, about? | Uh, about? |
258 | 00:23:11,140 | 00:23:13,200 | About Rob. | About Rob. |
259 | 00:23:13,300 | 00:23:16,140 | After the funeral, did you feel angry? | After the funeral, did you feel angry? |
260 | 00:23:17,340 | 00:23:19,540 | With him? No. | With him? No. |
261 | 00:23:20,300 | 00:23:22,280 | No, geez, no. | No, geez, no. |
262 | 00:23:22,380 | 00:23:25,820 | I know that's...that people feel that when someone... | I know that's...that people feel that when someone... |
263 | 00:23:29,420 | 00:23:31,420 | I couldn't get off Facebook. | I couldn't get off Facebook. |
264 | 00:23:33,380 | 00:23:36,120 | Everyone kept commenting on his wall. | Everyone kept commenting on his wall. |
265 | 00:23:36,220 | 00:23:38,300 | Yeah. Like, it made me furious. | Yeah. Like, it made me furious. |
266 | 00:23:39,100 | 00:23:41,240 | Like, what do they mean? | Like, what do they mean? |
267 | 00:23:41,340 | 00:23:44,960 | All these people, like advertising their loss like that. | All these people, like advertising their loss like that. |
268 | 00:23:45,060 | 00:23:48,100 | And who's it for? Not Rob, obviously. | And who's it for? Not Rob, obviously. |
269 | 00:23:49,260 | 00:23:50,800 | And, like, what's the etiquette there? | And, like, what's the etiquette there? |
270 | 00:23:50,900 | 00:23:53,140 | Should I be liking every comment on his wall? | Should I be liking every comment on his wall? |
271 | 00:23:53,460 | 00:23:56,000 | Well, it sounds like you've worked through that anger. | Well, it sounds like you've worked through that anger. |
272 | 00:23:57,020 | 00:23:59,020 | No. | No. |
273 | 00:23:59,540 | 00:24:03,020 | Of course, people can grieve how they want. | Of course, people can grieve how they want. |
274 | 00:24:05,260 | 00:24:07,340 | Sorry. I get it. | Sorry. I get it. |
275 | 00:24:09,140 | 00:24:11,140 | It feels a bit pointless. | It feels a bit pointless. |
276 | 00:24:11,460 | 00:24:13,460 | Yeah, I think that's it. | Yeah, I think that's it. |
277 | 00:24:15,140 | 00:24:17,740 | And everyone kept talking about... | And everyone kept talking about... |
278 | 00:24:19,460 | 00:24:21,360 | what a great person he was. | what a great person he was. |
279 | 00:24:21,460 | 00:24:25,940 | How full of life, what a devoted son, and I get it. | How full of life, what a devoted son, and I get it. |
280 | 00:24:27,780 | 00:24:29,780 | But what, was that him? | But what, was that him? |
281 | 00:24:32,540 | 00:24:34,540 | No. | No. |
282 | 00:24:36,020 | 00:24:38,020 | He was insecure. | He was insecure. |
283 | 00:24:39,340 | 00:24:41,340 | Obsessed with being liked. | Obsessed with being liked. |
284 | 00:24:41,700 | 00:24:46,220 | I mean, I know I can talk. But... | I mean, I know I can talk. But... |
285 | 00:24:52,740 | 00:24:54,740 | I miss you. | I miss you. |
286 | 00:24:57,420 | 00:24:59,420 | I miss you, too, Connell. | I miss you, too, Connell. |
287 | 00:25:07,060 | 00:25:09,040 | (Everything I Am Is Yours By Villagers) | (Everything I Am Is Yours By Villagers) |
288 | 00:25:22,300 | 00:25:25,620 | * I am just a man * | * I am just a man * |
289 | 00:25:26,620 | 00:25:29,780 | * Tipping on the wire * | * Tipping on the wire * |
290 | 00:25:31,020 | 00:25:35,360 | * Tight rope walking fool * | * Tight rope walking fool * |
291 | 00:25:35,460 | 00:25:38,660 | * Balanced on desire * | * Balanced on desire * |
292 | 00:25:39,780 | 00:25:42,860 | * I cannot control * | * I cannot control * |
293 | 00:25:43,940 | 00:25:47,420 | * These ever changing ways * | * These ever changing ways * |
294 | 00:25:48,300 | 00:25:52,480 | * So how can I be sure * | * So how can I be sure * |
295 | 00:25:52,580 | 00:25:55,780 | * The feeling will remain * | * The feeling will remain * |
296 | 00:25:58,660 | 00:26:01,380 | * But everything I am * | * But everything I am * |
296 | 00:25:58,660 | 00:26:01,380 | * But everything I am * | * But everything I am * |