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1 | 00:00:04,700 | 00:00:07,417 | - Okay. Have fun tonight, sweetheart. | - Okay. Have fun tonight, sweetheart. |
2 | 00:00:07,461 | 00:00:09,565 | Don't stay up too late. Don't do drugs. | Don't stay up too late. Don't do drugs. |
3 | 00:00:09,608 | 00:00:12,282 | And remember, Slenderman's not real. | And remember, Slenderman's not real. |
4 | 00:00:12,326 | 00:00:14,035 | When you thought you saw him in the woods, | When you thought you saw him in the woods, |
5 | 00:00:14,078 | 00:00:16,489 | that was just Jeff Goldblum going for a walk. | that was just Jeff Goldblum going for a walk. |
6 | 00:00:16,533 | 00:00:18,724 | - I'll text you in the morning. - Yeah. | - I'll text you in the morning. - Yeah. |
7 | 00:00:18,768 | 00:00:20,302 | Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. | Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. |
8 | 00:00:20,346 | 00:00:22,362 | Is this a co-ed sleepover? | Is this a co-ed sleepover? |
9 | 00:00:22,406 | 00:00:24,246 | - I told you Sage and Latisse were coming. | - I told you Sage and Latisse were coming. |
10 | 00:00:24,290 | 00:00:25,824 | - Since when are those boy names? | - Since when are those boy names? |
11 | 00:00:25,868 | 00:00:28,717 | When I was growing up, Neil was as crazy as it got. | When I was growing up, Neil was as crazy as it got. |
12 | 00:00:28,760 | 00:00:30,601 | We used to have to spell it on the phone all the time. | We used to have to spell it on the phone all the time. |
13 | 00:00:30,645 | 00:00:31,959 | Hey, kid, come here! - Oh, my God! | Hey, kid, come here! - Oh, my God! |
14 | 00:00:32,004 | 00:00:33,844 | Are you gonna be weird about this? | Are you gonna be weird about this? |
15 | 00:00:33,888 | 00:00:35,728 | It's a Model U.N. sleepover. | It's a Model U.N. sleepover. |
16 | 00:00:35,773 | 00:00:38,665 | - It's just--it's your first co-ed sleepover. | - It's just--it's your first co-ed sleepover. |
17 | 00:00:38,709 | 00:00:40,813 | I feel like we should have had a conversation about it. | I feel like we should have had a conversation about it. |
18 | 00:00:40,856 | 00:00:43,135 | - We've had so many conversations! | - We've had so many conversations! |
19 | 00:00:43,179 | 00:00:46,510 | - You know, Orly, you also have eggs. | - You know, Orly, you also have eggs. |
20 | 00:00:46,554 | 00:00:48,657 | But boys have magical worms. | But boys have magical worms. |
21 | 00:00:48,701 | 00:00:52,996 | Also known as tumescence, it slowly starts-- | Also known as tumescence, it slowly starts-- |
22 | 00:00:53,040 | 00:00:55,582 | See how those dogs are stuck? | See how those dogs are stuck? |
23 | 00:00:55,626 | 00:00:57,904 | I take pride in my talks. | I take pride in my talks. |
24 | 00:00:57,949 | 00:01:00,271 | - Sure, okay, I'm just saying that just because | - Sure, okay, I'm just saying that just because |
25 | 00:01:00,315 | 00:01:02,112 | there's gonna be boys in the same house, | there's gonna be boys in the same house, |
26 | 00:01:02,156 | 00:01:04,215 | doesn't mean we're gonna do anything from that | doesn't mean we're gonna do anything from that |
27 | 00:01:04,259 | 00:01:06,845 | Israeli coloring book that you got me. | Israeli coloring book that you got me. |
28 | 00:01:06,889 | 00:01:10,132 | - Well, these are your decisions to make. | - Well, these are your decisions to make. |
29 | 00:01:10,176 | 00:01:11,491 | But when you do make them, | But when you do make them, |
30 | 00:01:11,534 | 00:01:14,032 | I want it to be with someone special, | I want it to be with someone special, |
31 | 00:01:14,077 | 00:01:16,443 | like it was with me and your mom. | like it was with me and your mom. |
32 | 00:01:16,486 | 00:01:19,949 | Hearts before parts, I always say. | Hearts before parts, I always say. |
33 | 00:01:19,993 | 00:01:22,929 | Nope, I just made that up, but I stand by it. | Nope, I just made that up, but I stand by it. |
34 | 00:01:22,973 | 00:01:24,682 | - Hearts, parts. I got it. | - Hearts, parts. I got it. |
35 | 00:01:24,726 | 00:01:27,049 | - Hearts, parts. | - Hearts, parts. |
36 | 00:01:30,117 | 00:01:31,651 | Hey, kid. - Huh? | Hey, kid. - Huh? |
37 | 00:01:31,694 | 00:01:33,009 | - I see you. | - I see you. |
38 | 00:01:44,492 | 00:01:45,675 | - It seems like we're gonna be here late. | - It seems like we're gonna be here late. |
39 | 00:01:45,718 | 00:01:46,726 | Should we get dinner? | Should we get dinner? |
40 | 00:01:46,771 | 00:01:48,261 | - No, we gotta keep our momentum. | - No, we gotta keep our momentum. |
41 | 00:01:48,304 | 00:01:49,882 | This budget's due Thursday. | This budget's due Thursday. |
42 | 00:01:49,925 | 00:01:54,703 | If you're peckish, I've got a couple of hard-boiled eggs, | If you're peckish, I've got a couple of hard-boiled eggs, |
43 | 00:01:54,747 | 00:01:58,341 | and one of those Tom's savory toothpastes. | and one of those Tom's savory toothpastes. |
44 | 00:01:58,384 | 00:02:00,795 | - Or, we could duck out for din-din tonight? | - Or, we could duck out for din-din tonight? |
45 | 00:02:00,838 | 00:02:02,591 | I hear it's dollar chicken night at Porgy's. | I hear it's dollar chicken night at Porgy's. |
46 | 00:02:02,636 | 00:02:04,037 | - That's too cheap, Jayden. - We're not doing that. | - That's too cheap, Jayden. - We're not doing that. |
47 | 00:02:04,082 | 00:02:05,265 | - I'm just saying, you know? | - I'm just saying, you know? |
48 | 00:02:05,309 | 00:02:06,799 | Sometimes it's actually faster to go out. | Sometimes it's actually faster to go out. |
49 | 00:02:06,843 | 00:02:08,333 | And the food's hotter. | And the food's hotter. |
50 | 00:02:08,377 | 00:02:11,445 | And I get free dessert wings, 'cause it's my birthday. | And I get free dessert wings, 'cause it's my birthday. |
51 | 00:02:11,488 | 00:02:14,687 | - Wait, this is what you're doing for your birthday? | - Wait, this is what you're doing for your birthday? |
52 | 00:02:14,732 | 00:02:18,632 | - Yeah, but it's okay. You know, I love my job. | - Yeah, but it's okay. You know, I love my job. |
53 | 00:02:18,676 | 00:02:21,130 | I don't need to go out. I can turn 40 right here. | I don't need to go out. I can turn 40 right here. |
54 | 00:02:21,173 | 00:02:23,366 | Now, roll me a birthday egg. | Now, roll me a birthday egg. |
55 | 00:02:27,398 | 00:02:29,282 | - Okay, fine. Let's go to Porgy's. | - Okay, fine. Let's go to Porgy's. |
56 | 00:02:29,326 | 00:02:32,261 | - Yes, I'm getting a Sprite! | - Yes, I'm getting a Sprite! |
57 | 00:02:34,190 | 00:02:35,242 | - You think you're gonna be | - You think you're gonna be |
58 | 00:02:35,285 | 00:02:36,557 | needing the car again tonight, sir? | needing the car again tonight, sir? |
59 | 00:02:36,600 | 00:02:39,449 | - Nope--yeah, just a lot of policy to read up on. | - Nope--yeah, just a lot of policy to read up on. |
60 | 00:02:39,494 | 00:02:40,720 | Very dry. | Very dry. |
61 | 00:02:40,764 | 00:02:43,131 | You go out there and have fun for me, Dan. | You go out there and have fun for me, Dan. |
62 | 00:02:43,174 | 00:02:44,489 | - Sounds good, sir. | - Sounds good, sir. |
63 | 00:02:46,943 | 00:02:50,405 | - Hey there, gorgeous. You up? | - Hey there, gorgeous. You up? |
64 | 00:02:55,709 | 00:02:56,936 | - Okay, we did it, you're 40. | - Okay, we did it, you're 40. |
65 | 00:02:56,980 | 00:02:59,084 | Jayden, maybe you get that to go? | Jayden, maybe you get that to go? |
66 | 00:02:59,127 | 00:03:02,108 | What's up, Porgy's? | What's up, Porgy's? |
67 | 00:03:02,151 | 00:03:05,789 | It's Professor Jax coming at you with all the facts! | It's Professor Jax coming at you with all the facts! |
68 | 00:03:05,832 | 00:03:07,060 | Everybody grab a partner, | Everybody grab a partner, |
69 | 00:03:07,103 | 00:03:10,302 | because bar trivia starts right now! | because bar trivia starts right now! |
70 | 00:03:10,347 | 00:03:12,275 | - This place does trivia? I pick Arpi. | - This place does trivia? I pick Arpi. |
71 | 00:03:12,318 | 00:03:13,809 | - Good choice, Mr. Tomás. | - Good choice, Mr. Tomás. |
72 | 00:03:13,853 | 00:03:15,737 | This brain is like a "Hoarders" episode. | This brain is like a "Hoarders" episode. |
73 | 00:03:15,781 | 00:03:17,973 | Once something comes in, it never goes out. | Once something comes in, it never goes out. |
74 | 00:03:18,016 | 00:03:19,769 | The capital of Alaska is Juneau. | The capital of Alaska is Juneau. |
75 | 00:03:19,813 | 00:03:21,260 | Cows have four stomachs. | Cows have four stomachs. |
76 | 00:03:21,303 | 00:03:23,669 | I was wearing a blue sweater the day I saw a man drown. | I was wearing a blue sweater the day I saw a man drown. |
77 | 00:03:23,714 | 00:03:25,422 | - And I was on a TLC documentary | - And I was on a TLC documentary |
78 | 00:03:25,467 | 00:03:26,738 | about child geniuses. | about child geniuses. |
79 | 00:03:26,782 | 00:03:27,833 | It actually ended up being more | It actually ended up being more |
80 | 00:03:27,877 | 00:03:28,929 | about my dad's hidden clown life, | about my dad's hidden clown life, |
81 | 00:03:28,973 | 00:03:30,375 | but still, you two are going down. | but still, you two are going down. |
82 | 00:03:30,419 | 00:03:31,909 | - Tonight's winning team | - Tonight's winning team |
83 | 00:03:31,953 | 00:03:34,626 | gets this one of my son's soccer trophies. | gets this one of my son's soccer trophies. |
84 | 00:03:35,941 | 00:03:39,491 | Which three presidents died on July 4th? | Which three presidents died on July 4th? |
85 | 00:03:39,534 | 00:03:41,770 | - Jefferson, Adams, and Monroe! | - Jefferson, Adams, and Monroe! |
86 | 00:03:41,813 | 00:03:43,961 | - Correct! - What? | - Correct! - What? |
87 | 00:03:44,005 | 00:03:45,407 | You guys didn't grow up with that placemat | You guys didn't grow up with that placemat |
88 | 00:03:45,451 | 00:03:46,897 | of the U.S. presidents and how they died? | of the U.S. presidents and how they died? |
89 | 00:03:46,942 | 00:03:50,885 | - Question two: how long did the Vietnam War last? | - Question two: how long did the Vietnam War last? |
90 | 00:03:50,929 | 00:03:52,990 | - That's a loaded question, Jax. | - That's a loaded question, Jax. |
91 | 00:03:53,033 | 00:03:54,479 | Conflicts in the region predate-- | Conflicts in the region predate-- |
92 | 00:03:54,523 | 00:03:57,065 | - 19 years! - Correct! | - 19 years! - Correct! |
93 | 00:03:57,109 | 00:03:59,038 | - Well, that's a narrow view. | - Well, that's a narrow view. |
94 | 00:03:59,081 | 00:04:01,360 | - Every boyfriend I've ever had wanted to be the first guy | - Every boyfriend I've ever had wanted to be the first guy |
95 | 00:04:01,404 | 00:04:03,245 | to show me "Apocalypse Now." | to show me "Apocalypse Now." |
96 | 00:04:03,288 | 00:04:04,253 | - Yeah! | - Yeah! |
97 | 00:04:04,296 | 00:04:06,400 | - These two robins-- | - These two robins-- |
98 | 00:04:06,444 | 00:04:08,241 | - Kermit's nephew and Dick Grayson! | - Kermit's nephew and Dick Grayson! |
99 | 00:04:08,285 | 00:04:11,002 | That is correct! | That is correct! |
100 | 00:04:11,045 | 00:04:13,193 | This man's got his learning on tonight, folks. | This man's got his learning on tonight, folks. |
101 | 00:04:13,237 | 00:04:14,464 | - I liked "The Muppets." | - I liked "The Muppets." |
102 | 00:04:14,508 | 00:04:17,050 | - Morning. - How's tricks, Kwapis? | - Morning. - How's tricks, Kwapis? |
103 | 00:04:17,093 | 00:04:18,496 | - Tricks are bad, sir. | - Tricks are bad, sir. |
104 | 00:04:18,540 | 00:04:20,687 | There's a picture of you trending on the Internet. | There's a picture of you trending on the Internet. |
105 | 00:04:20,731 | 00:04:23,317 | - What? Who took that? | - What? Who took that? |
106 | 00:04:23,361 | 00:04:27,918 | Oh, must've been the driver from the car service I got her. | Oh, must've been the driver from the car service I got her. |
107 | 00:04:27,963 | 00:04:30,373 | That used to be a noble profession, Jayden. | That used to be a noble profession, Jayden. |
108 | 00:04:30,417 | 00:04:32,564 | - Obviously, I wanna hear all the dirty deets. | - Obviously, I wanna hear all the dirty deets. |
109 | 00:04:32,608 | 00:04:34,843 | How French were the kisses? Did you see her tummy? | How French were the kisses? Did you see her tummy? |
110 | 00:04:34,887 | 00:04:36,114 | - Mmm. | - Mmm. |
111 | 00:04:36,157 | 00:04:38,656 | - Oops, somebody saw some tum! | - Oops, somebody saw some tum! |
112 | 00:04:38,700 | 00:04:40,409 | But Mayor-wise, this isn't great. | But Mayor-wise, this isn't great. |
113 | 00:04:40,453 | 00:04:43,345 | - It's gross! The whole tableau is gross! | - It's gross! The whole tableau is gross! |
114 | 00:04:43,390 | 00:04:45,274 | - Look, guys, | - Look, guys, |
115 | 00:04:45,317 | 00:04:49,043 | Nicole is a very nice age-appropriate lady. | Nicole is a very nice age-appropriate lady. |
116 | 00:04:49,086 | 00:04:50,489 | - She's young enough to be your daughter. | - She's young enough to be your daughter. |
117 | 00:04:50,533 | 00:04:51,760 | - I'm rich, and it's L.A. | - I'm rich, and it's L.A. |
118 | 00:04:51,804 | 00:04:54,214 | And besides, we've known each other for years. | And besides, we've known each other for years. |
119 | 00:04:54,258 | 00:04:55,967 | We actually met-- | We actually met-- |
120 | 00:04:56,011 | 00:04:57,633 | I used to do this thing where I'd walk | I used to do this thing where I'd walk |
121 | 00:04:57,677 | 00:04:59,693 | into a Pilates studio and I'd say, | into a Pilates studio and I'd say, |
122 | 00:04:59,736 | 00:05:02,497 | "Sorry, I thought this was the Bentley dealership." | "Sorry, I thought this was the Bentley dealership." |
123 | 00:05:02,542 | 00:05:03,856 | - Slick! | - Slick! |
124 | 00:05:03,900 | 00:05:05,741 | - And I meet her in secret | - And I meet her in secret |
125 | 00:05:05,784 | 00:05:08,940 | because I don't want Orly to think that I'm-- | because I don't want Orly to think that I'm-- |
126 | 00:05:08,983 | 00:05:11,657 | I don't know, betraying her mom's memory. | I don't know, betraying her mom's memory. |
127 | 00:05:11,701 | 00:05:12,797 | - Well, you're safe. | - Well, you're safe. |
128 | 00:05:12,840 | 00:05:14,638 | I'm sure Orly never looks at the Internet. | I'm sure Orly never looks at the Internet. |
129 | 00:05:16,741 | 00:05:18,800 | "Wow, Dad. | "Wow, Dad. |
130 | 00:05:18,845 | 00:05:20,861 | Nice photo, hypocrite." | Nice photo, hypocrite." |
131 | 00:05:20,904 | 00:05:22,394 | - Who's it from? | - Who's it from? |
132 | 00:05:25,418 | 00:05:26,909 | - I don't feel good about | - I don't feel good about |
133 | 00:05:26,952 | 00:05:29,231 | our trivia performance last night, Mr. Tomás. | our trivia performance last night, Mr. Tomás. |
134 | 00:05:29,275 | 00:05:31,949 | - It was a fluke, a classic "Slumdog Millionaire." | - It was a fluke, a classic "Slumdog Millionaire." |
135 | 00:05:31,992 | 00:05:33,613 | Jayden only knew who Toscanini was because of a picture | Jayden only knew who Toscanini was because of a picture |
136 | 00:05:33,658 | 00:05:35,148 | on the wall at Buca di Beppo. | on the wall at Buca di Beppo. |
137 | 00:05:35,191 | 00:05:37,076 | - Hey guys, I was thinking, let's split up the budget. | - Hey guys, I was thinking, let's split up the budget. |
138 | 00:05:37,120 | 00:05:38,303 | Just do it by seniority. | Just do it by seniority. |
139 | 00:05:38,347 | 00:05:39,881 | Everyone takes a section to proof. | Everyone takes a section to proof. |
140 | 00:05:39,925 | 00:05:41,327 | I don't wanna keep doing late nights. | I don't wanna keep doing late nights. |
141 | 00:05:41,371 | 00:05:43,518 | - Yeah, sure, sounds good. - Great idea. | - Yeah, sure, sounds good. - Great idea. |
142 | 00:05:45,228 | 00:05:48,164 | And I know you two don't want another night like last night. | And I know you two don't want another night like last night. |
143 | 00:05:48,208 | 00:05:50,224 | I bet it's driving you crazy | I bet it's driving you crazy |
144 | 00:05:50,268 | 00:05:52,021 | that me and Jayden beat you. - Jayden and I. | that me and Jayden beat you. - Jayden and I. |
145 | 00:05:52,064 | 00:05:53,555 | - 'Cause you think you're smarter than us. | - 'Cause you think you're smarter than us. |
146 | 00:05:53,598 | 00:05:55,351 | - Only empirically. - You gotta admit. | - Only empirically. - You gotta admit. |
147 | 00:05:55,396 | 00:05:56,797 | You and Kwapis got pretty lucky. | You and Kwapis got pretty lucky. |
148 | 00:05:56,842 | 00:05:58,244 | - Lucky? | - Lucky? |
149 | 00:05:58,288 | 00:06:00,085 | Mikaela Shaw doesn't get lucky. | Mikaela Shaw doesn't get lucky. |
150 | 00:06:00,128 | 00:06:03,372 | I got HPV from a pair of vintage jeans. | I got HPV from a pair of vintage jeans. |
151 | 00:06:03,415 | 00:06:06,045 | You guys think you're so smart? Let's have a rematch. | You guys think you're so smart? Let's have a rematch. |
152 | 00:06:06,089 | 00:06:08,105 | Porgy's, tonight. | Porgy's, tonight. |
153 | 00:06:08,149 | 00:06:10,077 | Or are you dollar chicken? | Or are you dollar chicken? |
154 | 00:06:11,742 | 00:06:13,670 | - Bock, bock. | - Bock, bock. |
155 | 00:06:15,686 | 00:06:17,615 | - Wait, was that a yes or a no? | - Wait, was that a yes or a no? |
156 | 00:06:17,659 | 00:06:20,025 | - See you on the ice. - Porgy's again? | - See you on the ice. - Porgy's again? |
157 | 00:06:20,069 | 00:06:21,779 | My birthday wish came true! | My birthday wish came true! |
158 | 00:06:29,843 | 00:06:32,253 | - Hey, sweetie. I was just about-- | - Hey, sweetie. I was just about-- |
159 | 00:06:32,297 | 00:06:35,101 | - I know you got my text. It says "read," Dad. | - I know you got my text. It says "read," Dad. |
160 | 00:06:35,145 | 00:06:37,381 | - Stupid phone! - I'm just confused. | - Stupid phone! - I'm just confused. |
161 | 00:06:37,424 | 00:06:39,923 | I mean, yesterday, you said that my decisions | I mean, yesterday, you said that my decisions |
162 | 00:06:39,966 | 00:06:41,149 | should always be with some-- | should always be with some-- |
163 | 00:06:41,193 | 00:06:42,684 | - Someone special. And I meant that. | - Someone special. And I meant that. |
164 | 00:06:42,727 | 00:06:44,787 | - Oh, so that was someone special? | - Oh, so that was someone special? |
165 | 00:06:44,831 | 00:06:47,197 | The lady that you called an Uber pool for? | The lady that you called an Uber pool for? |
166 | 00:06:47,241 | 00:06:48,995 | We share an account, Dad. | We share an account, Dad. |
167 | 00:06:49,038 | 00:06:51,054 | - I hate these things! | - I hate these things! |
168 | 00:06:51,098 | 00:06:53,377 | Look, when I said that stuff to you, | Look, when I said that stuff to you, |
169 | 00:06:53,421 | 00:06:56,927 | I was-- I was thinking about Nicole. | I was-- I was thinking about Nicole. |
170 | 00:06:56,971 | 00:06:59,250 | She's very special. | She's very special. |
171 | 00:06:59,293 | 00:07:01,397 | - Oh, my gosh, Dad. Really? | - Oh, my gosh, Dad. Really? |
172 | 00:07:01,441 | 00:07:04,903 | - Yeah, she's my special lady. | - Yeah, she's my special lady. |
173 | 00:07:06,831 | 00:07:10,075 | - If she's special to you, then she's special to me. | - If she's special to you, then she's special to me. |
174 | 00:07:10,118 | 00:07:13,230 | When can I meet her? How about tonight? | When can I meet her? How about tonight? |
175 | 00:07:13,274 | 00:07:14,501 | - Oh--I--yeah. | - Oh--I--yeah. |
176 | 00:07:14,545 | 00:07:16,693 | No, I don't know if tonight's possible. | No, I don't know if tonight's possible. |
177 | 00:07:16,736 | 00:07:22,916 | Yeah, Nicole is a busy professional work woman, and-- | Yeah, Nicole is a busy professional work woman, and-- |
178 | 00:07:22,959 | 00:07:25,501 | - Oh, actually, you know, I can't tonight, either. | - Oh, actually, you know, I can't tonight, either. |
179 | 00:07:25,545 | 00:07:28,350 | Latisse invited me to his lacrosse team's pool party. | Latisse invited me to his lacrosse team's pool party. |
180 | 00:07:28,394 | 00:07:29,928 | He goes to a magnet school for kids | He goes to a magnet school for kids |
181 | 00:07:29,972 | 00:07:31,900 | who were emancipated from their parents. | who were emancipated from their parents. |
182 | 00:07:31,944 | 00:07:34,573 | - Actually, tonight's good. I just remembered. | - Actually, tonight's good. I just remembered. |
183 | 00:07:34,617 | 00:07:38,869 | You should meet Nicole tonight. | You should meet Nicole tonight. |
184 | 00:07:38,912 | 00:07:42,374 | Let's meet Nicole, all right? | Let's meet Nicole, all right? |
185 | 00:07:49,518 | 00:07:51,271 | - May the most intelligent team win. | - May the most intelligent team win. |
186 | 00:07:51,315 | 00:07:53,462 | Meritocracy! | Meritocracy! |
187 | 00:07:53,506 | 00:07:54,909 | - Friendship! Yay! | - Friendship! Yay! |
188 | 00:07:54,952 | 00:07:57,363 | - Tonight's prize is a big one-- | - Tonight's prize is a big one-- |
189 | 00:07:57,407 | 00:07:59,467 | a bassoon! | a bassoon! |
190 | 00:07:59,510 | 00:08:01,833 | Brand new, still in the case, | Brand new, still in the case, |
191 | 00:08:01,877 | 00:08:04,287 | guess how many times my son played it? | guess how many times my son played it? |
192 | 00:08:04,332 | 00:08:07,706 | The correct answer is none! | The correct answer is none! |
193 | 00:08:09,722 | 00:08:12,614 | The first question is in world geography. | The first question is in world geography. |
194 | 00:08:12,658 | 00:08:14,587 | This sub-equatorial country | This sub-equatorial country |
195 | 00:08:14,630 | 00:08:17,479 | is home to the yellow-tailed woolly monkey | is home to the yellow-tailed woolly monkey |
196 | 00:08:17,523 | 00:08:19,539 | and one marmalade-loving bear-- | and one marmalade-loving bear-- |
197 | 00:08:19,582 | 00:08:20,898 | - Peru! 'Cause Paddington. | - Peru! 'Cause Paddington. |
198 | 00:08:20,941 | 00:08:23,746 | - Correct! - Yes! | - Correct! - Yes! |
199 | 00:08:23,790 | 00:08:25,237 | - Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman, Katie Holmes, | - Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman, Katie Holmes, |
200 | 00:08:25,280 | 00:08:26,420 | and Gorgolzop the Elder. | and Gorgolzop the Elder. |
201 | 00:08:26,463 | 00:08:27,866 | - That's it! | - That's it! |
202 | 00:08:27,909 | 00:08:29,487 | - The gum disease, gingivitis! | - The gum disease, gingivitis! |
203 | 00:08:29,532 | 00:08:30,933 | - Correct again! | - Correct again! |
204 | 00:08:30,978 | 00:08:33,081 | - Dr. Arnold Henry Kegel! - Nailed it! | - Dr. Arnold Henry Kegel! - Nailed it! |
205 | 00:08:33,124 | 00:08:35,535 | What is the capital of Alaska-- | What is the capital of Alaska-- |
206 | 00:08:35,579 | 00:08:36,938 | - That'd be Juneau, Jax. | - That'd be Juneau, Jax. |
207 | 00:08:36,981 | 00:08:39,042 | - You didn't let me finish the question. | - You didn't let me finish the question. |
208 | 00:08:39,085 | 00:08:41,803 | What is the capital of Alaska's main export-- | What is the capital of Alaska's main export-- |
209 | 00:08:41,846 | 00:08:45,922 | - Natural gas. - After natural gas? | - Natural gas. - After natural gas? |
210 | 00:08:45,966 | 00:08:48,421 | - Fishes? - Bingo! | - Fishes? - Bingo! |
211 | 00:08:50,173 | 00:08:52,628 | - You need to relax and listen to the whole question. | - You need to relax and listen to the whole question. |
212 | 00:08:52,671 | 00:08:56,703 | - Oh, a man telling me to relax and listen, | - Oh, a man telling me to relax and listen, |
213 | 00:08:56,747 | 00:08:58,018 | that's some fresh lemonade. | that's some fresh lemonade. |
214 | 00:08:58,062 | 00:08:59,464 | Also, saying, "I knew that one," | Also, saying, "I knew that one," |
215 | 00:08:59,509 | 00:09:01,831 | after every question is not helping our score. | after every question is not helping our score. |
216 | 00:09:01,875 | 00:09:03,189 | - Chocolate babies. | - Chocolate babies. |
217 | 00:09:03,233 | 00:09:04,592 | - I knew that one. - Okay. | - I knew that one. - Okay. |
218 | 00:09:04,636 | 00:09:07,353 | This partnership is over. - Fine, forget it! | This partnership is over. - Fine, forget it! |
219 | 00:09:07,396 | 00:09:08,887 | I don't even need another bassoon. | I don't even need another bassoon. |
220 | 00:09:08,931 | 00:09:10,245 | - "King Lear"! | - "King Lear"! |
221 | 00:09:10,289 | 00:09:11,297 | It's what "Empire" was based off. | It's what "Empire" was based off. |
222 | 00:09:11,341 | 00:09:14,102 | - Correct! And we have a winner! | - Correct! And we have a winner! |
223 | 00:09:14,146 | 00:09:16,293 | - Yes! | - Yes! |
224 | 00:09:16,337 | 00:09:18,791 | - Now come on up and get your bassoon. | - Now come on up and get your bassoon. |
225 | 00:09:18,836 | 00:09:21,685 | - I am so glad you could make it for dinner. | - I am so glad you could make it for dinner. |
226 | 00:09:21,728 | 00:09:24,269 | Thank you, and thank you for making it so last minute. | Thank you, and thank you for making it so last minute. |
227 | 00:09:24,314 | 00:09:25,717 | - Oh, I'm into it. | - Oh, I'm into it. |
228 | 00:09:25,760 | 00:09:27,469 | I usually just have gummy bears for dinner | I usually just have gummy bears for dinner |
229 | 00:09:27,513 | 00:09:28,916 | on my way home from work. | on my way home from work. |
230 | 00:09:28,959 | 00:09:30,449 | - Actually, you know, | - Actually, you know, |
231 | 00:09:30,493 | 00:09:31,808 | I thought that we could have a quiet night tonight. | I thought that we could have a quiet night tonight. |
232 | 00:09:31,852 | 00:09:33,166 | - Oh. | - Oh. |
233 | 00:09:33,211 | 00:09:37,155 | - I'm making my specialty-- turkey à la king! | - I'm making my specialty-- turkey à la king! |
234 | 00:09:37,198 | 00:09:39,521 | - Ooh! Yum, yum, yum! | - Ooh! Yum, yum, yum! |
235 | 00:09:39,565 | 00:09:41,757 | - You must be Daddy's special friend. | - You must be Daddy's special friend. |
236 | 00:09:41,800 | 00:09:42,808 | - Oh, hi! | - Oh, hi! |
237 | 00:09:42,853 | 00:09:45,394 | - Nicole, this is my daughter, Orly. | - Nicole, this is my daughter, Orly. |
238 | 00:09:45,437 | 00:09:46,577 | She's joining us for dinner. | She's joining us for dinner. |
239 | 00:09:46,621 | 00:09:48,856 | - Oh, what a fun surprise. | - Oh, what a fun surprise. |
240 | 00:09:48,900 | 00:09:50,697 | - Can I get you a glass of wine? | - Can I get you a glass of wine? |
241 | 00:09:50,740 | 00:09:51,880 | - Yeah. | - Yeah. |
242 | 00:09:51,924 | 00:09:55,956 | - I am so happy that my dad found you. | - I am so happy that my dad found you. |
243 | 00:09:56,000 | 00:09:58,717 | - Thank you, honey. | - Thank you, honey. |
244 | 00:10:01,215 | 00:10:03,889 | Oh, wow, wow, wow! | Oh, wow, wow, wow! |
245 | 00:10:03,933 | 00:10:05,992 | I can't believe I'm meeting your daughter, Neil. | I can't believe I'm meeting your daughter, Neil. |
246 | 00:10:06,036 | 00:10:08,578 | - All right. Here, taste this. | - All right. Here, taste this. |
247 | 00:10:08,621 | 00:10:10,462 | - Wait, does that have meat in it? | - Wait, does that have meat in it? |
248 | 00:10:10,506 | 00:10:12,084 | - It's turkey à la king. | - It's turkey à la king. |
249 | 00:10:12,128 | 00:10:13,399 | - Oh, well, I'm vegan. | - Oh, well, I'm vegan. |
250 | 00:10:13,443 | 00:10:15,546 | - It has the word turkey in it. | - It has the word turkey in it. |
251 | 00:10:15,590 | 00:10:18,658 | - Dad, how could you not know Nicole is vegan? | - Dad, how could you not know Nicole is vegan? |
252 | 00:10:18,701 | 00:10:21,112 | I guess I forgot. | I guess I forgot. |
253 | 00:10:21,156 | 00:10:23,654 | I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Nicole. | I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Nicole. |
254 | 00:10:23,698 | 00:10:27,555 | Is it--is it hot in here? Let me take your jacket. | Is it--is it hot in here? Let me take your jacket. |
255 | 00:10:27,598 | 00:10:30,754 | - Oh, no! Mm. | - Oh, no! Mm. |
256 | 00:10:30,797 | 00:10:33,558 | - Ah, okay. What else can I tell you? | - Ah, okay. What else can I tell you? |
257 | 00:10:33,603 | 00:10:37,503 | Well, Nicole runs a Pilates studio. | Well, Nicole runs a Pilates studio. |
258 | 00:10:37,547 | 00:10:41,009 | - Oh--oh, no, it was Pilates, but we pivoted. | - Oh--oh, no, it was Pilates, but we pivoted. |
259 | 00:10:41,053 | 00:10:44,253 | Now we do fairy birthday parties for adults. | Now we do fairy birthday parties for adults. |
260 | 00:10:44,296 | 00:10:45,699 | - Ah, okay. | - Ah, okay. |
261 | 00:10:45,742 | 00:10:47,583 | - Is it scary to be in love? | - Is it scary to be in love? |
262 | 00:10:50,476 | 00:10:51,747 | - Um, I see-- | - Um, I see-- |
263 | 00:10:51,790 | 00:10:53,675 | I told Orly that | I told Orly that |
264 | 00:10:53,718 | 00:10:57,970 | I think that you and I have a nice connection. | I think that you and I have a nice connection. |
265 | 00:10:58,013 | 00:11:00,599 | - Yeah, for sure. For sure! | - Yeah, for sure. For sure! |
266 | 00:11:00,644 | 00:11:03,360 | - So, how long have you guys known each other? | - So, how long have you guys known each other? |
267 | 00:11:03,405 | 00:11:05,069 | - Um, six years? | - Um, six years? |
268 | 00:11:05,114 | 00:11:07,217 | - Mm-hmm. - Six years? | - Mm-hmm. - Six years? |
269 | 00:11:07,260 | 00:11:10,329 | Wow, I can't believe I haven't met you before. | Wow, I can't believe I haven't met you before. |
270 | 00:11:10,372 | 00:11:14,098 | - Well, Nicole lives in Tarzana. | - Well, Nicole lives in Tarzana. |
271 | 00:11:14,141 | 00:11:16,727 | - Yeah, and your dad lives here. | - Yeah, and your dad lives here. |
272 | 00:11:16,771 | 00:11:19,006 | Wait, do you live here? | Wait, do you live here? |
273 | 00:11:19,050 | 00:11:20,628 | I remember your place being nicer. | I remember your place being nicer. |
274 | 00:11:20,672 | 00:11:24,879 | - Ah, no, no. I moved here because, you know, | - Ah, no, no. I moved here because, you know, |
275 | 00:11:24,923 | 00:11:26,500 | this is where the mayor lives. | this is where the mayor lives. |
276 | 00:11:26,544 | 00:11:29,218 | - Right. You work for the mayor? | - Right. You work for the mayor? |
277 | 00:11:38,903 | 00:11:40,788 | - Well, thank you for coming. | - Well, thank you for coming. |
278 | 00:11:40,832 | 00:11:42,847 | I hope Orly didn't come on too strong. | I hope Orly didn't come on too strong. |
279 | 00:11:42,892 | 00:11:44,908 | - Oh, no, she's a doll. | - Oh, no, she's a doll. |
280 | 00:11:44,951 | 00:11:48,326 | - I made this for you. - Oh. | - I made this for you. - Oh. |
281 | 00:11:48,370 | 00:11:50,035 | Thank you, Orly. | Thank you, Orly. |
282 | 00:11:50,079 | 00:11:51,789 | It's gonna go right on the mini fridge. | It's gonna go right on the mini fridge. |
283 | 00:11:51,832 | 00:11:53,673 | - Oh, look at that. | - Oh, look at that. |
284 | 00:11:53,716 | 00:11:56,083 | - Bye. | - Bye. |
285 | 00:11:58,450 | 00:12:01,429 | - You should be ashamed of yourself! | - You should be ashamed of yourself! |
286 | 00:12:01,474 | 00:12:02,788 | - I should be ashamed? | - I should be ashamed? |
287 | 00:12:02,832 | 00:12:05,637 | You have been slorshing that lady for six years. | You have been slorshing that lady for six years. |
288 | 00:12:05,681 | 00:12:08,398 | - Well, is that a term, or are you messing with me | - Well, is that a term, or are you messing with me |
289 | 00:12:08,442 | 00:12:10,633 | 'cause you know I'm gonna repeat it? | 'cause you know I'm gonna repeat it? |
290 | 00:12:10,677 | 00:12:13,920 | Oh, all right, fine, Orly. Yeah, you got me. | Oh, all right, fine, Orly. Yeah, you got me. |
291 | 00:12:13,965 | 00:12:16,374 | Nicole is parts before hearts. | Nicole is parts before hearts. |
292 | 00:12:16,419 | 00:12:19,311 | But now she thinks this is a real relationship. | But now she thinks this is a real relationship. |
293 | 00:12:19,355 | 00:12:21,765 | I'm gonna have to somehow find a way to dig myself | I'm gonna have to somehow find a way to dig myself |
294 | 00:12:21,809 | 00:12:24,351 | out of this without hurting her feelings. | out of this without hurting her feelings. |
295 | 00:12:24,395 | 00:12:28,120 | And she happens to be one of the neatest ladies that I see. | And she happens to be one of the neatest ladies that I see. |
296 | 00:12:28,164 | 00:12:31,144 | - Wait, there are other ladies you see? | - Wait, there are other ladies you see? |
297 | 00:12:31,188 | 00:12:33,247 | Do you do this every time I'm away? | Do you do this every time I'm away? |
298 | 00:12:33,292 | 00:12:36,491 | - No--what? Hey, you want a new phone? | - No--what? Hey, you want a new phone? |
299 | 00:12:36,534 | 00:12:37,586 | - When I came back from camp, | - When I came back from camp, |
300 | 00:12:37,630 | 00:12:39,383 | and the hot tub was being cleaned? | and the hot tub was being cleaned? |
301 | 00:12:39,427 | 00:12:41,487 | When the eighth-grade ski trip ended early | When the eighth-grade ski trip ended early |
302 | 00:12:41,531 | 00:12:43,941 | and I found all those Diet Coke cans in the sauna? | and I found all those Diet Coke cans in the sauna? |
303 | 00:12:43,985 | 00:12:45,168 | - Mm... | - Mm... |
304 | 00:12:45,212 | 00:12:46,571 | - When I had my wisdom teeth removed, | - When I had my wisdom teeth removed, |
305 | 00:12:46,614 | 00:12:48,805 | and I had that dream about Cheryl Tiegs? | and I had that dream about Cheryl Tiegs? |
306 | 00:12:48,850 | 00:12:51,829 | - No, that was Cheryl Tiegs. - Oh, my God! | - No, that was Cheryl Tiegs. - Oh, my God! |
307 | 00:12:51,874 | 00:12:55,468 | - All right, yes. Yes, I sneak around, Orly, | - All right, yes. Yes, I sneak around, Orly, |
308 | 00:12:55,511 | 00:12:57,702 | 'cause none of these women are good enough to meet you. | 'cause none of these women are good enough to meet you. |
309 | 00:12:57,746 | 00:12:59,806 | - Well, then be sneakier, because I don't wanna | - Well, then be sneakier, because I don't wanna |
310 | 00:12:59,850 | 00:13:02,304 | have to deal with this grossness ever again! | have to deal with this grossness ever again! |
311 | 00:13:02,348 | 00:13:04,671 | - All right. | - All right. |
312 | 00:13:06,468 | 00:13:08,878 | I'm gonna ask you one more question. | I'm gonna ask you one more question. |
313 | 00:13:08,922 | 00:13:12,691 | You didn't buy me that too-big Tinkerbell outfit, did you? | You didn't buy me that too-big Tinkerbell outfit, did you? |
314 | 00:13:14,707 | 00:13:18,564 | You let me sleep in it all summer! | You let me sleep in it all summer! |
315 | 00:13:18,607 | 00:13:19,922 | - Oh, you're mad? | - Oh, you're mad? |
316 | 00:13:19,966 | 00:13:22,201 | She's the one who got fired from Disneyland | She's the one who got fired from Disneyland |
317 | 00:13:22,245 | 00:13:23,779 | for losing the costume! | for losing the costume! |
318 | 00:13:31,448 | 00:13:35,042 | - That was "Shallow" by Bradley Cooper and Stefani Germanotta. | - That was "Shallow" by Bradley Cooper and Stefani Germanotta. |
319 | 00:13:35,086 | 00:13:37,452 | I'm still learning, but I'll pick it up quickly, | I'm still learning, but I'll pick it up quickly, |
320 | 00:13:37,496 | 00:13:39,205 | 'cause I'm kind of a genius. | 'cause I'm kind of a genius. |
321 | 00:13:39,250 | 00:13:41,221 | - Oh, you're about as funny as a heart attack. | - Oh, you're about as funny as a heart attack. |
322 | 00:13:41,266 | 00:13:43,237 | - You're just jealous 'cause I beat you guys, | - You're just jealous 'cause I beat you guys, |
323 | 00:13:43,282 | 00:13:45,035 | despite having Jayden on my team. | despite having Jayden on my team. |
324 | 00:13:45,078 | 00:13:46,700 | - What do you mean, despite? | - What do you mean, despite? |
325 | 00:13:46,744 | 00:13:49,154 | You think I'm some kinda idiot that can't-- | You think I'm some kinda idiot that can't-- |
326 | 00:13:50,206 | 00:13:51,652 | Intentional! | Intentional! |
327 | 00:13:51,696 | 00:13:53,580 | - Jayden, I'm sorry, but come on. | - Jayden, I'm sorry, but come on. |
328 | 00:13:53,624 | 00:13:55,202 | You know I'm LeBron, | You know I'm LeBron, |
329 | 00:13:55,246 | 00:13:57,963 | and you're, like, the Laker Vanessa Hudgens hooked up with. | and you're, like, the Laker Vanessa Hudgens hooked up with. |
330 | 00:13:58,007 | 00:14:00,418 | - I think you mean Kyle Kuzma. You see? | - I think you mean Kyle Kuzma. You see? |
331 | 00:14:00,461 | 00:14:03,354 | You think you were carrying me? I was carrying you! | You think you were carrying me? I was carrying you! |
332 | 00:14:03,397 | 00:14:05,150 | I ran the board on discontinued candies | I ran the board on discontinued candies |
333 | 00:14:05,195 | 00:14:06,816 | and "Playboy" in the '90s. | and "Playboy" in the '90s. |
334 | 00:14:06,860 | 00:14:08,131 | - Ooh, he's got a point. | - Ooh, he's got a point. |
335 | 00:14:08,174 | 00:14:09,928 | Maybe Jayden should get the bassoon. | Maybe Jayden should get the bassoon. |
336 | 00:14:09,972 | 00:14:11,286 | - Hey, here's a question. | - Hey, here's a question. |
337 | 00:14:11,330 | 00:14:13,960 | Who's not on my trivia team anymore--Mikaela! | Who's not on my trivia team anymore--Mikaela! |
338 | 00:14:14,004 | 00:14:15,099 | - You didn't give me a chance to answer. | - You didn't give me a chance to answer. |
339 | 00:14:15,143 | 00:14:16,633 | - Oh, I knew that one! | - Oh, I knew that one! |
340 | 00:14:16,676 | 00:14:19,044 | - Okay, so maybe we settle this definitively tonight! | - Okay, so maybe we settle this definitively tonight! |
341 | 00:14:19,087 | 00:14:20,446 | - Well, I'm free. | - Well, I'm free. |
342 | 00:14:20,490 | 00:14:21,936 | I finished my section of the budget. | I finished my section of the budget. |
343 | 00:14:21,980 | 00:14:23,514 | - Me too. - I did mine. | - Me too. - I did mine. |
344 | 00:14:23,557 | 00:14:24,960 | Okay, it's on tonight. | Okay, it's on tonight. |
345 | 00:14:25,004 | 00:14:28,992 | Our friend Jax is at Canter's Deli Two in Torrance. | Our friend Jax is at Canter's Deli Two in Torrance. |
346 | 00:14:29,036 | 00:14:30,570 | It's every they for themself. | It's every they for themself. |
347 | 00:14:33,506 | 00:14:36,135 | - Wow, wow, wow! | - Wow, wow, wow! |
348 | 00:14:36,180 | 00:14:38,940 | Two days ago, I did not think I would be visiting your office. | Two days ago, I did not think I would be visiting your office. |
349 | 00:14:38,984 | 00:14:41,833 | - Please, sit down. - Okay. | - Please, sit down. - Okay. |
350 | 00:14:43,148 | 00:14:47,004 | So, Nicole. | So, Nicole. |
351 | 00:14:47,048 | 00:14:52,483 | Boy, these last couple of days have been very special. | Boy, these last couple of days have been very special. |
352 | 00:14:52,526 | 00:14:54,279 | - Neil, please stop, stop! | - Neil, please stop, stop! |
353 | 00:14:54,324 | 00:14:56,295 | I can't see you anymore. I'm so sorry. | I can't see you anymore. I'm so sorry. |
354 | 00:14:56,340 | 00:15:00,327 | - Wait, uh, you can't see me? | - Wait, uh, you can't see me? |
355 | 00:15:00,372 | 00:15:01,686 | - Yeah, I mean, you're fun, | - Yeah, I mean, you're fun, |
356 | 00:15:01,730 | 00:15:03,834 | but I don't think of us as a serious match. | but I don't think of us as a serious match. |
357 | 00:15:03,877 | 00:15:06,113 | You're in my phone as "Short Neil." | You're in my phone as "Short Neil." |
358 | 00:15:06,156 | 00:15:07,646 | - You have a taller Neil? | - You have a taller Neil? |
359 | 00:15:07,691 | 00:15:09,487 | - I just think we're at different places in our lives. | - I just think we're at different places in our lives. |
360 | 00:15:09,531 | 00:15:12,116 | Like, you're looking for a stepmom for your kid, | Like, you're looking for a stepmom for your kid, |
361 | 00:15:12,161 | 00:15:14,439 | or a caregiver, someone to drive at night. | or a caregiver, someone to drive at night. |
362 | 00:15:14,484 | 00:15:16,061 | I am not that girl. | I am not that girl. |
363 | 00:15:16,105 | 00:15:20,268 | I drink at night, and I need to honor that part of myself. | I drink at night, and I need to honor that part of myself. |
364 | 00:15:20,312 | 00:15:22,854 | Well, okay. | Well, okay. |
365 | 00:15:22,898 | 00:15:26,711 | Yeah, I respect your decision. - Yeah, okay. | Yeah, I respect your decision. - Yeah, okay. |
366 | 00:15:26,755 | 00:15:28,464 | - Yeah, but just for the record, sit down for a sec. | - Yeah, but just for the record, sit down for a sec. |
367 | 00:15:28,508 | 00:15:30,392 | - Oh, okay. | - Oh, okay. |
368 | 00:15:30,435 | 00:15:32,759 | - That's not what I'm looking for. | - That's not what I'm looking for. |
369 | 00:15:32,803 | 00:15:35,344 | You know, I enjoy a casual good time. | You know, I enjoy a casual good time. |
370 | 00:15:35,388 | 00:15:36,615 | Orly just caught me. | Orly just caught me. |
371 | 00:15:36,660 | 00:15:39,069 | - Look, I get it. Your wife just died. | - Look, I get it. Your wife just died. |
372 | 00:15:39,114 | 00:15:40,209 | - Well, eight years ago. | - Well, eight years ago. |
373 | 00:15:40,253 | 00:15:42,488 | - Oh, and you're still just hooking up? | - Oh, and you're still just hooking up? |
374 | 00:15:42,531 | 00:15:45,468 | You're, like, 60. | You're, like, 60. |
375 | 00:15:45,512 | 00:15:48,229 | - Yes. What I'm trying to say is, | - Yes. What I'm trying to say is, |
376 | 00:15:48,273 | 00:15:50,990 | I'm not looking for a serious relationship either, | I'm not looking for a serious relationship either, |
377 | 00:15:51,034 | 00:15:53,619 | because my priority is Orly. | because my priority is Orly. |
378 | 00:15:53,664 | 00:15:55,417 | - Okay, but you do realize | - Okay, but you do realize |
379 | 00:15:55,460 | 00:15:57,828 | Orly's gonna go off to college in, like, two years, right? | Orly's gonna go off to college in, like, two years, right? |
380 | 00:15:57,871 | 00:15:59,229 | - My God. Don't say that. | - My God. Don't say that. |
381 | 00:15:59,274 | 00:16:00,895 | - Yeah, and you need to make space for yourself, | - Yeah, and you need to make space for yourself, |
382 | 00:16:00,939 | 00:16:02,341 | and your emotional needs. | and your emotional needs. |
383 | 00:16:02,385 | 00:16:04,971 | My friend Carly went through this as a single mom. | My friend Carly went through this as a single mom. |
384 | 00:16:05,014 | 00:16:06,330 | She wouldn't date for years, | She wouldn't date for years, |
385 | 00:16:06,373 | 00:16:07,863 | and then when Baller went off to college, | and then when Baller went off to college, |
386 | 00:16:07,908 | 00:16:09,879 | she was like, "Now what, I'm 31." | she was like, "Now what, I'm 31." |
387 | 00:16:09,924 | 00:16:11,457 | - Well, maybe I should call Carly. | - Well, maybe I should call Carly. |
388 | 00:16:11,500 | 00:16:12,903 | - You do not wanna do that. | - You do not wanna do that. |
389 | 00:16:12,948 | 00:16:14,306 | Carly is married to an MMA fighter now. | Carly is married to an MMA fighter now. |
390 | 00:16:14,349 | 00:16:15,445 | He will kill you. | He will kill you. |
391 | 00:16:15,489 | 00:16:18,250 | But you might wanna ask yourself, | But you might wanna ask yourself, |
392 | 00:16:18,294 | 00:16:22,063 | "Why am I so closed off to the possibility of real love?" | "Why am I so closed off to the possibility of real love?" |
393 | 00:16:22,107 | 00:16:23,991 | I mean, not with me, because I'm too hot | I mean, not with me, because I'm too hot |
394 | 00:16:24,035 | 00:16:25,394 | to be your wife when your eyes go. | to be your wife when your eyes go. |
395 | 00:16:25,437 | 00:16:29,119 | It would be a waste. But, you know, in general. | It would be a waste. But, you know, in general. |
396 | 00:16:29,163 | 00:16:34,071 | - I guess maybe I use Orly as an excuse. | - I guess maybe I use Orly as an excuse. |
397 | 00:16:34,115 | 00:16:36,613 | Because this is easy. | Because this is easy. |
398 | 00:16:36,657 | 00:16:39,462 | - But dating at 72, ah! | - But dating at 72, ah! |
399 | 00:16:39,506 | 00:16:43,450 | - Oh, my God, sweetie. I'm proud of you! | - Oh, my God, sweetie. I'm proud of you! |
400 | 00:16:43,494 | 00:16:46,167 | Also, personal record for me. | Also, personal record for me. |
401 | 00:16:46,211 | 00:16:49,366 | - It's just maybe my ship has sailed. | - It's just maybe my ship has sailed. |
402 | 00:16:49,411 | 00:16:51,996 | - What, are you kidding? You're a catch. | - What, are you kidding? You're a catch. |
403 | 00:16:52,040 | 00:16:54,932 | You're sweet, you're rich. You work for the mayor. | You're sweet, you're rich. You work for the mayor. |
404 | 00:16:54,976 | 00:16:56,247 | - I am the mayor. | - I am the mayor. |
405 | 00:16:56,291 | 00:16:59,797 | Okay. | Okay. |
406 | 00:16:59,841 | 00:17:01,988 | I'm just saying you might be able to find someone | I'm just saying you might be able to find someone |
407 | 00:17:02,032 | 00:17:04,311 | really great, if you open your heart to it. | really great, if you open your heart to it. |
408 | 00:17:04,355 | 00:17:06,284 | - Thank you, Nicole. | - Thank you, Nicole. |
409 | 00:17:06,327 | 00:17:08,518 | And I--you know what, I hope you-- | And I--you know what, I hope you-- |
410 | 00:17:08,563 | 00:17:10,579 | you find the right person too. | you find the right person too. |
411 | 00:17:10,622 | 00:17:12,638 | - Oh, I don't do monogamy. Big Capricorn energy. | - Oh, I don't do monogamy. Big Capricorn energy. |
412 | 00:17:12,682 | 00:17:14,391 | Also, my dad had a secret family. | Also, my dad had a secret family. |
413 | 00:17:14,435 | 00:17:16,275 | Whatever, it's boring. I gotta go. | Whatever, it's boring. I gotta go. |
414 | 00:17:16,319 | 00:17:18,905 | Bye. - Bye. | Bye. - Bye. |
415 | 00:17:31,352 | 00:17:33,631 | - Here all alone? | - Here all alone? |
416 | 00:17:33,675 | 00:17:35,121 | Sad. | Sad. |
417 | 00:17:36,962 | 00:17:39,811 | - Welcome, welcome, quiz heads. How's everybody doing tonight? | - Welcome, welcome, quiz heads. How's everybody doing tonight? |
418 | 00:17:39,854 | 00:17:40,949 | - Get to the heat of the meet, Jax. | - Get to the heat of the meet, Jax. |
419 | 00:17:40,994 | 00:17:42,265 | - Yeah, we're not here for "Host Chat." | - Yeah, we're not here for "Host Chat." |
420 | 00:17:42,308 | 00:17:43,755 | - Sorry, Jax, they're idiots. | - Sorry, Jax, they're idiots. |
421 | 00:17:43,798 | 00:17:45,376 | - Yeah, that's Mikaela. | - Yeah, that's Mikaela. |
422 | 00:17:45,419 | 00:17:48,620 | I think she's on all the apps, but nothing. | I think she's on all the apps, but nothing. |
423 | 00:17:48,663 | 00:17:51,337 | - What did he say? - Doctor Elephant is a she. | - What did he say? - Doctor Elephant is a she. |
424 | 00:17:51,380 | 00:17:52,914 | - What is wrong with you people? | - What is wrong with you people? |
425 | 00:17:52,958 | 00:17:55,149 | Two nights ago, you were all sitting there together | Two nights ago, you were all sitting there together |
426 | 00:17:55,193 | 00:17:57,297 | sharing a dollar chicken like friends. | sharing a dollar chicken like friends. |
427 | 00:17:57,340 | 00:17:59,181 | - We're not friends, we're coworkers. | - We're not friends, we're coworkers. |
428 | 00:17:59,225 | 00:18:00,452 | - And we did not share that chicken. | - And we did not share that chicken. |
429 | 00:18:00,496 | 00:18:02,337 | - It's true. I ate the whole chicken. | - It's true. I ate the whole chicken. |
430 | 00:18:02,380 | 00:18:04,309 | - Oh, now you're at separate tables? | - Oh, now you're at separate tables? |
431 | 00:18:04,353 | 00:18:07,070 | I mean, what is more important, | I mean, what is more important, |
432 | 00:18:07,114 | 00:18:08,780 | your work family, | your work family, |
433 | 00:18:08,823 | 00:18:12,548 | or this brand new glow-in-the dark samurai sword | or this brand new glow-in-the dark samurai sword |
434 | 00:18:12,592 | 00:18:14,871 | that my son says he's "too old" for, | that my son says he's "too old" for, |
435 | 00:18:14,915 | 00:18:19,122 | and if I were "around more, I'd know that"? | and if I were "around more, I'd know that"? |
436 | 00:18:19,166 | 00:18:23,067 | Anyway, that's the prize tonight. | Anyway, that's the prize tonight. |
437 | 00:18:23,110 | 00:18:25,038 | First question! | First question! |
438 | 00:18:25,083 | 00:18:27,449 | Believe it or not, the city of Los Angeles | Believe it or not, the city of Los Angeles |
439 | 00:18:27,493 | 00:18:30,604 | spends $7.3 million every year just on this, | spends $7.3 million every year just on this, |
440 | 00:18:30,648 | 00:18:32,664 | also known as "shoefitti"? | also known as "shoefitti"? |
441 | 00:18:32,708 | 00:18:34,636 | - Cutting down sneakers from electrical wires! | - Cutting down sneakers from electrical wires! |
442 | 00:18:34,680 | 00:18:36,258 | - Correct! - Yes! | - Correct! - Yes! |
443 | 00:18:36,302 | 00:18:38,230 | Street maintenance was in my section of the budget proof. | Street maintenance was in my section of the budget proof. |
444 | 00:18:38,274 | 00:18:41,166 | - What--no, shoefitti removal was in my part. | - What--no, shoefitti removal was in my part. |
445 | 00:18:41,211 | 00:18:42,875 | I proofed pages 1 through 120. | I proofed pages 1 through 120. |
446 | 00:18:42,920 | 00:18:44,716 | We split it up by seniority, | We split it up by seniority, |
447 | 00:18:44,760 | 00:18:47,084 | and Chief of Staff is the highest. | and Chief of Staff is the highest. |
448 | 00:18:47,127 | 00:18:49,756 | - Yeah, but I'm the Chair of the Budget Committee, | - Yeah, but I'm the Chair of the Budget Committee, |
449 | 00:18:49,800 | 00:18:51,159 | so I'm kinda, like, your king. | so I'm kinda, like, your king. |
450 | 00:18:51,203 | 00:18:54,095 | - Are you two serious? I proofed section one. | - Are you two serious? I proofed section one. |
451 | 00:18:54,140 | 00:18:56,724 | I've been at city hall longer than all of you combined. | I've been at city hall longer than all of you combined. |
452 | 00:18:56,769 | 00:18:59,091 | - I thought I could go first because it's my birthday! | - I thought I could go first because it's my birthday! |
453 | 00:18:59,135 | 00:19:01,195 | - Crap on a cracker. - We didn't finish the budget! | - Crap on a cracker. - We didn't finish the budget! |
454 | 00:19:01,239 | 00:19:02,904 | - We've got 400 pages left to go! | - We've got 400 pages left to go! |
455 | 00:19:02,948 | 00:19:05,271 | - It's due tomorrow! | - It's due tomorrow! |
456 | 00:19:06,936 | 00:19:09,259 | Question two! | Question two! |
457 | 00:19:09,303 | 00:19:12,327 | Are my son and I ever gonna be okay? | Are my son and I ever gonna be okay? |
458 | 00:19:12,371 | 00:19:13,860 | - He loves you. | - He loves you. |
459 | 00:19:13,905 | 00:19:15,964 | Just stop taking your feelings about his mom out on him. | Just stop taking your feelings about his mom out on him. |
460 | 00:19:16,008 | 00:19:18,507 | Also, make a consistent schedule and stick to it! | Also, make a consistent schedule and stick to it! |
461 | 00:19:20,741 | 00:19:23,152 | - Oh, wait, wait. Wait a second. | - Oh, wait, wait. Wait a second. |
462 | 00:19:23,195 | 00:19:24,467 | Okay. | Okay. |
463 | 00:19:24,510 | 00:19:27,096 | - Oh, my God. Why are you hugging Mom's urn? | - Oh, my God. Why are you hugging Mom's urn? |
464 | 00:19:27,140 | 00:19:28,937 | - So women know I'm not divorced. | - So women know I'm not divorced. |
465 | 00:19:28,980 | 00:19:30,646 | - This just looks like you murdered Mom, | - This just looks like you murdered Mom, |
466 | 00:19:30,690 | 00:19:33,275 | and are kind of bragging that you got away with it. | and are kind of bragging that you got away with it. |
467 | 00:19:33,319 | 00:19:35,204 | - Good note. | - Good note. |
468 | 00:19:35,248 | 00:19:38,447 | Okay, so, should I show a lot of teeth when I smile? | Okay, so, should I show a lot of teeth when I smile? |
469 | 00:19:38,491 | 00:19:41,033 | I'm kinda proud of my gum health. | I'm kinda proud of my gum health. |
470 | 00:19:41,076 | 00:19:43,531 | - Dad, just be normal. | - Dad, just be normal. |
471 | 00:19:45,108 | 00:19:47,431 | I don't know. | I don't know. |
472 | 00:19:47,475 | 00:19:48,615 | - There he is! | - There he is! |
473 | 00:19:48,659 | 00:19:50,981 | Okay, now where do we wanna put this? | Okay, now where do we wanna put this? |
474 | 00:19:51,025 | 00:19:52,515 | You're the mayor, so you need some privacy. | You're the mayor, so you need some privacy. |
475 | 00:19:52,559 | 00:19:54,487 | - Well, I already signed up for Postmates. | - Well, I already signed up for Postmates. |
476 | 00:19:54,531 | 00:19:59,045 | - Dad, that's a food thing. For restaurants. | - Dad, that's a food thing. For restaurants. |
477 | 00:19:59,089 | 00:20:01,018 | - So when I checked Cuban, Asian, | - So when I checked Cuban, Asian, |
478 | 00:20:01,061 | 00:20:02,946 | and New American, that was all food? | and New American, that was all food? |
479 | 00:20:02,989 | 00:20:04,480 | - Ew, what? | - Ew, what? |
480 | 00:20:04,523 | 00:20:07,416 | Okay, let's try Graya. It's like old people's Raya. | Okay, let's try Graya. It's like old people's Raya. |
481 | 00:20:07,459 | 00:20:09,783 | Let's pick an appropriate age range. | Let's pick an appropriate age range. |
482 | 00:20:09,827 | 00:20:11,229 | 55 to-- | 55 to-- |
483 | 00:20:11,273 | 00:20:12,894 | - 35? - 75. | - 35? - 75. |
484 | 00:20:12,939 | 00:20:14,428 | God. | God. |
485 | 00:20:14,472 | 00:20:18,285 | All right, yes, yes. Go ahead and hit send. | All right, yes, yes. Go ahead and hit send. |
486 | 00:20:18,329 | 00:20:21,265 | - Save, but good job. | - Save, but good job. |
487 | 00:20:21,309 | 00:20:23,719 | I'm really proud of you. | I'm really proud of you. |
488 | 00:20:23,763 | 00:20:26,831 | It's probably Postmates. | It's probably Postmates. |
489 | 00:20:26,875 | 00:20:28,935 | We're gonna be eating a lot of healthy Armenian | We're gonna be eating a lot of healthy Armenian |
490 | 00:20:28,979 | 00:20:30,513 | the next couple of days. | the next couple of days. |
491 | 00:20:30,556 | 00:20:33,054 | Ooh, that's a nice one. | Ooh, that's a nice one. |
492 | 00:20:33,098 | 00:20:35,377 | Hey, ho. | Hey, ho. |
493 | 00:20:35,421 | 00:20:36,999 | - Here's your budget. | - Here's your budget. |
494 | 00:20:37,043 | 00:20:38,664 | Checked, re-checked, | Checked, re-checked, |
495 | 00:20:38,707 | 00:20:41,031 | and then we got a little crazy and checked it again. | and then we got a little crazy and checked it again. |
496 | 00:20:41,075 | 00:20:43,266 | - But the important thing is, we did it together, | - But the important thing is, we did it together, |
497 | 00:20:43,309 | 00:20:45,150 | and we're all the smartest. | and we're all the smartest. |
498 | 00:20:45,194 | 00:20:47,824 | And at midnight, we did Bloody Mary in the mirror! | And at midnight, we did Bloody Mary in the mirror! |
499 | 00:20:47,867 | 00:20:50,628 | - Only Jayden did that, sir, and he soiled himself. | - Only Jayden did that, sir, and he soiled himself. |
500 | 00:20:50,672 | 00:20:53,434 | - I got these out of a lost and found. | - I got these out of a lost and found. |
501 | 00:20:53,477 | 00:20:56,633 | - Hey, Tommy. Ooh! | - Hey, Tommy. Ooh! |
502 | 00:20:56,676 | 00:20:58,780 | Do you usually straighten your hair? | Do you usually straighten your hair? |
503 | 00:20:58,824 | 00:21:01,147 | - Oh, no, no, no, no. | - Oh, no, no, no, no. |
504 | 00:21:01,190 | 00:21:05,047 | She poofed! This is why I left London. | She poofed! This is why I left London. |
505 | 00:21:07,107 | 00:21:09,780 | - Anyway, great job, you guys. Thank you very much. | - Anyway, great job, you guys. Thank you very much. |
506 | 00:21:09,824 | 00:21:13,637 | One tiny note. | One tiny note. |
507 | 00:21:13,681 | 00:21:16,705 | Cover page says "City Bulget." | Cover page says "City Bulget." |
508 | 00:21:16,748 | 00:21:18,502 | Tommy! | Tommy! |
509 | 00:21:18,546 | 00:21:20,956 | - All right, back to work. | - All right, back to work. |
510 | 00:21:21,000 | 00:21:23,892 | Jayden, do your thing. | Jayden, do your thing. |
511 | 00:21:29,693 | 00:21:31,707 | Corrected by == Flatto (subscene.com) == | Corrected by == Flatto (subscene.com) == |