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1 | 00:00:05,527 | 00:00:08,225 | - Okay. Have fun tonight, sweetheart. | - Okay. Have fun tonight, sweetheart. |
2 | 00:00:08,269 | 00:00:10,358 | Don't stay up too late. Don't do drugs. | Don't stay up too late. Don't do drugs. |
3 | 00:00:10,401 | 00:00:13,056 | And remember, Slenderman's not real. | And remember, Slenderman's not real. |
4 | 00:00:13,100 | 00:00:14,797 | When you thought you saw him in the woods, | When you thought you saw him in the woods, |
5 | 00:00:14,840 | 00:00:17,234 | that was just Jeff Goldblum going for a walk. | that was just Jeff Goldblum going for a walk. |
6 | 00:00:17,278 | 00:00:19,454 | - I'll text you in the morning. - Yeah. | - I'll text you in the morning. - Yeah. |
7 | 00:00:19,497 | 00:00:21,021 | Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. | Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. |
8 | 00:00:21,064 | 00:00:23,066 | Is this a co-ed sleepover? | Is this a co-ed sleepover? |
9 | 00:00:23,110 | 00:00:24,937 | - I told you Sage and Latisse were coming. | - I told you Sage and Latisse were coming. |
10 | 00:00:24,981 | 00:00:26,504 | - Since when are those boy names? | - Since when are those boy names? |
11 | 00:00:26,548 | 00:00:29,377 | When I was growing up, Neil was as crazy as it got. | When I was growing up, Neil was as crazy as it got. |
12 | 00:00:29,420 | 00:00:31,248 | We used to have to spell it on the phone all the time. | We used to have to spell it on the phone all the time. |
13 | 00:00:31,292 | 00:00:32,597 | Hey, kid, come here! - Oh, my God! | Hey, kid, come here! - Oh, my God! |
14 | 00:00:32,641 | 00:00:34,469 | Are you gonna be weird about this? | Are you gonna be weird about this? |
15 | 00:00:34,512 | 00:00:36,340 | It's a Model U.N. sleepover. | It's a Model U.N. sleepover. |
16 | 00:00:36,384 | 00:00:39,256 | - It's just--it's your first co-ed sleepover. | - It's just--it's your first co-ed sleepover. |
17 | 00:00:39,300 | 00:00:41,389 | I feel like we should have had a conversation about it. | I feel like we should have had a conversation about it. |
18 | 00:00:41,432 | 00:00:43,695 | - We've had so many conversations! | - We've had so many conversations! |
19 | 00:00:43,739 | 00:00:47,047 | - You know, Orly, you also have eggs. | - You know, Orly, you also have eggs. |
20 | 00:00:47,090 | 00:00:49,179 | But boys have magical worms. | But boys have magical worms. |
21 | 00:00:49,223 | 00:00:53,488 | Also known as tumescence, it slowly starts-- | Also known as tumescence, it slowly starts-- |
22 | 00:00:53,531 | 00:00:56,056 | See how those dogs are stuck? | See how those dogs are stuck? |
23 | 00:00:56,099 | 00:00:58,362 | I take pride in my talks. | I take pride in my talks. |
24 | 00:00:58,406 | 00:01:00,712 | - Sure, okay, I'm just saying that just because | - Sure, okay, I'm just saying that just because |
25 | 00:01:00,756 | 00:01:02,540 | there's gonna be boys in the same house, | there's gonna be boys in the same house, |
26 | 00:01:02,584 | 00:01:04,629 | doesn't mean we're gonna do anything from that | doesn't mean we're gonna do anything from that |
27 | 00:01:04,673 | 00:01:07,241 | Israeli coloring book that you got me. | Israeli coloring book that you got me. |
28 | 00:01:07,284 | 00:01:10,505 | - Well, these are your decisions to make. | - Well, these are your decisions to make. |
29 | 00:01:10,548 | 00:01:11,854 | But when you do make them, | But when you do make them, |
30 | 00:01:11,897 | 00:01:14,378 | I want it to be with someone special, | I want it to be with someone special, |
31 | 00:01:14,422 | 00:01:16,772 | like it was with me and your mom. | like it was with me and your mom. |
32 | 00:01:16,815 | 00:01:20,254 | Hearts before parts, I always say. | Hearts before parts, I always say. |
33 | 00:01:20,297 | 00:01:23,213 | Nope, I just made that up, but I stand by it. | Nope, I just made that up, but I stand by it. |
34 | 00:01:23,257 | 00:01:24,954 | - Hearts, parts. I got it. | - Hearts, parts. I got it. |
35 | 00:01:24,997 | 00:01:27,304 | - Hearts, parts. | - Hearts, parts. |
36 | 00:01:30,351 | 00:01:31,874 | Hey, kid. - Huh? | Hey, kid. - Huh? |
37 | 00:01:31,917 | 00:01:33,223 | - I see you. | - I see you. |
38 | 00:01:44,626 | 00:01:45,801 | - It seems like we're gonna be here late. | - It seems like we're gonna be here late. |
39 | 00:01:45,844 | 00:01:46,845 | Should we get dinner? | Should we get dinner? |
40 | 00:01:46,889 | 00:01:48,369 | - No, we gotta keep our momentum. | - No, we gotta keep our momentum. |
41 | 00:01:48,412 | 00:01:49,979 | This budget's due Thursday. | This budget's due Thursday. |
42 | 00:01:50,022 | 00:01:54,766 | If you're peckish, I've got a couple of hard-boiled eggs, | If you're peckish, I've got a couple of hard-boiled eggs, |
43 | 00:01:54,810 | 00:01:58,379 | and one of those Tom's savory toothpastes. | and one of those Tom's savory toothpastes. |
44 | 00:01:58,422 | 00:02:00,816 | - Or, we could duck out for din-din tonight? | - Or, we could duck out for din-din tonight? |
45 | 00:02:00,859 | 00:02:02,600 | I hear it's dollar chicken night at Porgy's. | I hear it's dollar chicken night at Porgy's. |
46 | 00:02:02,644 | 00:02:04,036 | - That's too cheap, Jayden. - We're not doing that. | - That's too cheap, Jayden. - We're not doing that. |
47 | 00:02:04,080 | 00:02:05,255 | - I'm just saying, you know? | - I'm just saying, you know? |
48 | 00:02:05,299 | 00:02:06,778 | Sometimes it's actually faster to go out. | Sometimes it's actually faster to go out. |
49 | 00:02:06,822 | 00:02:08,302 | And the food's hotter. | And the food's hotter. |
50 | 00:02:08,345 | 00:02:11,392 | And I get free dessert wings, 'cause it's my birthday. | And I get free dessert wings, 'cause it's my birthday. |
51 | 00:02:11,435 | 00:02:14,612 | - Wait, this is what you're doing for your birthday? | - Wait, this is what you're doing for your birthday? |
52 | 00:02:14,656 | 00:02:18,529 | - Yeah, but it's okay. You know, I love my job. | - Yeah, but it's okay. You know, I love my job. |
53 | 00:02:18,573 | 00:02:21,010 | I don't need to go out. I can turn 40 right here. | I don't need to go out. I can turn 40 right here. |
54 | 00:02:21,053 | 00:02:23,230 | Now, roll me a birthday egg. | Now, roll me a birthday egg. |
55 | 00:02:27,234 | 00:02:29,105 | - Okay, fine. Let's go to Porgy's. | - Okay, fine. Let's go to Porgy's. |
56 | 00:02:29,149 | 00:02:32,064 | - Yes, I'm getting a Sprite! | - Yes, I'm getting a Sprite! |
57 | 00:02:33,979 | 00:02:35,024 | - You think you're gonna be | - You think you're gonna be |
58 | 00:02:35,067 | 00:02:36,330 | needing the car again tonight, sir? | needing the car again tonight, sir? |
59 | 00:02:36,373 | 00:02:39,202 | - Nope--yeah, just a lot of policy to read up on. | - Nope--yeah, just a lot of policy to read up on. |
60 | 00:02:39,246 | 00:02:40,464 | Very dry. | Very dry. |
61 | 00:02:40,508 | 00:02:42,858 | You go out there and have fun for me, Dan. | You go out there and have fun for me, Dan. |
62 | 00:02:42,901 | 00:02:44,207 | - Sounds good, sir. | - Sounds good, sir. |
63 | 00:02:46,644 | 00:02:50,082 | - Hey there, gorgeous. You up? | - Hey there, gorgeous. You up? |
64 | 00:02:55,349 | 00:02:56,567 | - Okay, we did it, you're 40. | - Okay, we did it, you're 40. |
65 | 00:02:56,611 | 00:02:58,700 | Jayden, maybe you get that to go? | Jayden, maybe you get that to go? |
66 | 00:02:58,743 | 00:03:01,703 | What's up, Porgy's? | What's up, Porgy's? |
67 | 00:03:01,746 | 00:03:05,359 | It's Professor Jax coming at you with all the facts! | It's Professor Jax coming at you with all the facts! |
68 | 00:03:05,402 | 00:03:06,621 | Everybody grab a partner, | Everybody grab a partner, |
69 | 00:03:06,664 | 00:03:09,841 | because bar trivia starts right now! | because bar trivia starts right now! |
70 | 00:03:09,885 | 00:03:11,800 | - This place does trivia? I pick Arpi. | - This place does trivia? I pick Arpi. |
71 | 00:03:11,843 | 00:03:13,323 | - Good choice, Mr. Tomás. | - Good choice, Mr. Tomás. |
72 | 00:03:13,367 | 00:03:15,238 | This brain is like a "Hoarders" episode. | This brain is like a "Hoarders" episode. |
73 | 00:03:15,282 | 00:03:17,458 | Once something comes in, it never goes out. | Once something comes in, it never goes out. |
74 | 00:03:17,501 | 00:03:19,242 | The capital of Alaska is Juneau. | The capital of Alaska is Juneau. |
75 | 00:03:19,286 | 00:03:20,722 | Cows have four stomachs. | Cows have four stomachs. |
76 | 00:03:20,765 | 00:03:23,115 | I was wearing a blue sweater the day I saw a man drown. | I was wearing a blue sweater the day I saw a man drown. |
77 | 00:03:23,159 | 00:03:24,856 | - And I was on a TLC documentary | - And I was on a TLC documentary |
78 | 00:03:24,900 | 00:03:26,162 | about child geniuses. | about child geniuses. |
79 | 00:03:26,206 | 00:03:27,250 | It actually ended up being more | It actually ended up being more |
80 | 00:03:27,294 | 00:03:28,338 | about my dad's hidden clown life, | about my dad's hidden clown life, |
81 | 00:03:28,382 | 00:03:29,774 | but still, you two are going down. | but still, you two are going down. |
82 | 00:03:29,818 | 00:03:31,298 | - Tonight's winning team | - Tonight's winning team |
83 | 00:03:31,341 | 00:03:33,996 | gets this one of my son's soccer trophies. | gets this one of my son's soccer trophies. |
84 | 00:03:35,302 | 00:03:38,827 | Which three presidents died on July 4th? | Which three presidents died on July 4th? |
85 | 00:03:38,870 | 00:03:41,090 | - Jefferson, Adams, and Monroe! | - Jefferson, Adams, and Monroe! |
86 | 00:03:41,133 | 00:03:43,266 | - Correct! - What? | - Correct! - What? |
87 | 00:03:43,310 | 00:03:44,702 | You guys didn't grow up with that placemat | You guys didn't grow up with that placemat |
88 | 00:03:44,746 | 00:03:46,182 | of the U.S. presidents and how they died? | of the U.S. presidents and how they died? |
89 | 00:03:46,226 | 00:03:50,142 | - Question two: how long did the Vietnam War last? | - Question two: how long did the Vietnam War last? |
90 | 00:03:50,186 | 00:03:52,232 | - That's a loaded question, Jax. | - That's a loaded question, Jax. |
91 | 00:03:52,275 | 00:03:53,711 | Conflicts in the region predate-- | Conflicts in the region predate-- |
92 | 00:03:53,755 | 00:03:56,279 | - 19 years! - Correct! | - 19 years! - Correct! |
93 | 00:03:56,323 | 00:03:58,238 | - Well, that's a narrow view. | - Well, that's a narrow view. |
94 | 00:03:58,281 | 00:04:00,544 | - Every boyfriend I've ever had wanted to be the first guy | - Every boyfriend I've ever had wanted to be the first guy |
95 | 00:04:00,588 | 00:04:02,416 | to show me "Apocalypse Now." | to show me "Apocalypse Now." |
96 | 00:04:02,459 | 00:04:03,417 | - Yeah! | - Yeah! |
97 | 00:04:03,460 | 00:04:05,549 | - These two robins-- | - These two robins-- |
98 | 00:04:05,593 | 00:04:07,377 | - Kermit's nephew and Dick Grayson! | - Kermit's nephew and Dick Grayson! |
99 | 00:04:07,421 | 00:04:10,119 | That is correct! | That is correct! |
100 | 00:04:10,162 | 00:04:12,295 | This man's got his learning on tonight, folks. | This man's got his learning on tonight, folks. |
101 | 00:04:12,339 | 00:04:13,557 | - I liked "The Muppets." | - I liked "The Muppets." |
102 | 00:04:13,601 | 00:04:16,125 | - Morning. - How's tricks, Kwapis? | - Morning. - How's tricks, Kwapis? |
103 | 00:04:16,168 | 00:04:17,561 | - Tricks are bad, sir. | - Tricks are bad, sir. |
104 | 00:04:17,605 | 00:04:19,737 | There's a picture of you trending on the Internet. | There's a picture of you trending on the Internet. |
105 | 00:04:19,781 | 00:04:22,349 | - What? Who took that? | - What? Who took that? |
106 | 00:04:22,392 | 00:04:26,918 | Oh, must've been the driver from the car service I got her. | Oh, must've been the driver from the car service I got her. |
107 | 00:04:26,962 | 00:04:29,356 | That used to be a noble profession, Jayden. | That used to be a noble profession, Jayden. |
108 | 00:04:29,399 | 00:04:31,532 | - Obviously, I wanna hear all the dirty deets. | - Obviously, I wanna hear all the dirty deets. |
109 | 00:04:31,575 | 00:04:33,795 | How French were the kisses? Did you see her tummy? | How French were the kisses? Did you see her tummy? |
110 | 00:04:33,838 | 00:04:35,057 | - Mmm. | - Mmm. |
111 | 00:04:35,100 | 00:04:37,581 | - Oops, somebody saw some tum! | - Oops, somebody saw some tum! |
112 | 00:04:37,625 | 00:04:39,322 | But Mayor-wise, this isn't great. | But Mayor-wise, this isn't great. |
113 | 00:04:39,366 | 00:04:42,238 | - It's gross! The whole tableau is gross! | - It's gross! The whole tableau is gross! |
114 | 00:04:42,282 | 00:04:44,153 | - Look, guys, | - Look, guys, |
115 | 00:04:44,196 | 00:04:47,896 | Nicole is a very nice age-appropriate lady. | Nicole is a very nice age-appropriate lady. |
116 | 00:04:47,939 | 00:04:49,332 | - She's young enough to be your daughter. | - She's young enough to be your daughter. |
117 | 00:04:49,376 | 00:04:50,594 | - I'm rich, and it's L.A. | - I'm rich, and it's L.A. |
118 | 00:04:50,638 | 00:04:53,031 | And besides, we've known each other for years. | And besides, we've known each other for years. |
119 | 00:04:53,075 | 00:04:54,772 | We actually met-- | We actually met-- |
120 | 00:04:54,816 | 00:04:56,426 | I used to do this thing where I'd walk | I used to do this thing where I'd walk |
121 | 00:04:56,470 | 00:04:58,472 | into a Pilates studio and I'd say, | into a Pilates studio and I'd say, |
122 | 00:04:58,515 | 00:05:01,257 | "Sorry, I thought this was the Bentley dealership." | "Sorry, I thought this was the Bentley dealership." |
123 | 00:05:01,301 | 00:05:02,606 | - Slick! | - Slick! |
124 | 00:05:02,650 | 00:05:04,478 | - And I meet her in secret | - And I meet her in secret |
125 | 00:05:04,521 | 00:05:07,655 | because I don't want Orly to think that I'm-- | because I don't want Orly to think that I'm-- |
126 | 00:05:07,698 | 00:05:10,353 | I don't know, betraying her mom's memory. | I don't know, betraying her mom's memory. |
127 | 00:05:10,397 | 00:05:11,485 | - Well, you're safe. | - Well, you're safe. |
128 | 00:05:11,528 | 00:05:13,313 | I'm sure Orly never looks at the Internet. | I'm sure Orly never looks at the Internet. |
129 | 00:05:15,402 | 00:05:17,447 | "Wow, Dad. | "Wow, Dad. |
130 | 00:05:17,491 | 00:05:19,493 | Nice photo, hypocrite." | Nice photo, hypocrite." |
131 | 00:05:19,536 | 00:05:21,016 | - Who's it from? | - Who's it from? |
132 | 00:05:24,019 | 00:05:25,499 | - I don't feel good about | - I don't feel good about |
133 | 00:05:25,542 | 00:05:27,805 | our trivia performance last night, Mr. Tomás. | our trivia performance last night, Mr. Tomás. |
134 | 00:05:27,849 | 00:05:30,504 | - It was a fluke, a classic "Slumdog Millionaire." | - It was a fluke, a classic "Slumdog Millionaire." |
135 | 00:05:30,547 | 00:05:32,157 | Jayden only knew who Toscanini was because of a picture | Jayden only knew who Toscanini was because of a picture |
136 | 00:05:32,201 | 00:05:33,681 | on the wall at Buca di Beppo. | on the wall at Buca di Beppo. |
137 | 00:05:33,724 | 00:05:35,596 | - Hey guys, I was thinking, let's split up the budget. | - Hey guys, I was thinking, let's split up the budget. |
138 | 00:05:35,639 | 00:05:36,814 | Just do it by seniority. | Just do it by seniority. |
139 | 00:05:36,858 | 00:05:38,381 | Everyone takes a section to proof. | Everyone takes a section to proof. |
140 | 00:05:38,425 | 00:05:39,817 | I don't wanna keep doing late nights. | I don't wanna keep doing late nights. |
141 | 00:05:39,861 | 00:05:41,993 | - Yeah, sure, sounds good. - Great idea. | - Yeah, sure, sounds good. - Great idea. |
142 | 00:05:43,691 | 00:05:46,607 | And I know you two don't want another night like last night. | And I know you two don't want another night like last night. |
143 | 00:05:46,650 | 00:05:48,652 | I bet it's driving you crazy | I bet it's driving you crazy |
144 | 00:05:48,696 | 00:05:50,437 | that me and Jayden beat you. - Jayden and I. | that me and Jayden beat you. - Jayden and I. |
145 | 00:05:50,480 | 00:05:51,960 | - 'Cause you think you're smarter than us. | - 'Cause you think you're smarter than us. |
146 | 00:05:52,003 | 00:05:53,744 | - Only empirically. - You gotta admit. | - Only empirically. - You gotta admit. |
147 | 00:05:53,788 | 00:05:55,180 | You and Kwapis got pretty lucky. | You and Kwapis got pretty lucky. |
148 | 00:05:55,224 | 00:05:56,617 | - Lucky? | - Lucky? |
149 | 00:05:56,660 | 00:05:58,445 | Mikaela Shaw doesn't get lucky. | Mikaela Shaw doesn't get lucky. |
150 | 00:05:58,488 | 00:06:01,709 | I got HPV from a pair of vintage jeans. | I got HPV from a pair of vintage jeans. |
151 | 00:06:01,752 | 00:06:04,364 | You guys think you're so smart? Let's have a rematch. | You guys think you're so smart? Let's have a rematch. |
152 | 00:06:04,407 | 00:06:06,409 | Porgy's, tonight. | Porgy's, tonight. |
153 | 00:06:06,453 | 00:06:08,368 | Or are you dollar chicken? | Or are you dollar chicken? |
154 | 00:06:10,021 | 00:06:11,936 | - Bock, bock. | - Bock, bock. |
155 | 00:06:13,938 | 00:06:15,853 | - Wait, was that a yes or a no? | - Wait, was that a yes or a no? |
156 | 00:06:15,897 | 00:06:18,247 | - See you on the ice. - Porgy's again? | - See you on the ice. - Porgy's again? |
157 | 00:06:18,290 | 00:06:19,988 | My birthday wish came true! | My birthday wish came true! |
158 | 00:06:27,996 | 00:06:30,390 | - Hey, sweetie. I was just about-- | - Hey, sweetie. I was just about-- |
159 | 00:06:30,433 | 00:06:33,218 | - I know you got my text. It says "read," Dad. | - I know you got my text. It says "read," Dad. |
160 | 00:06:33,262 | 00:06:35,482 | - Stupid phone! - I'm just confused. | - Stupid phone! - I'm just confused. |
161 | 00:06:35,525 | 00:06:38,006 | I mean, yesterday, you said that my decisions | I mean, yesterday, you said that my decisions |
162 | 00:06:38,049 | 00:06:39,224 | should always be with some-- | should always be with some-- |
163 | 00:06:39,268 | 00:06:40,748 | - Someone special. And I meant that. | - Someone special. And I meant that. |
164 | 00:06:40,791 | 00:06:42,837 | - Oh, so that was someone special? | - Oh, so that was someone special? |
165 | 00:06:42,880 | 00:06:45,230 | The lady that you called an Uber pool for? | The lady that you called an Uber pool for? |
166 | 00:06:45,274 | 00:06:47,015 | We share an account, Dad. | We share an account, Dad. |
167 | 00:06:47,058 | 00:06:49,060 | - I hate these things! | - I hate these things! |
168 | 00:06:49,104 | 00:06:51,367 | Look, when I said that stuff to you, | Look, when I said that stuff to you, |
169 | 00:06:51,411 | 00:06:54,892 | I was-- I was thinking about Nicole. | I was-- I was thinking about Nicole. |
170 | 00:06:54,936 | 00:06:57,199 | She's very special. | She's very special. |
171 | 00:06:57,242 | 00:06:59,331 | - Oh, my gosh, Dad. Really? | - Oh, my gosh, Dad. Really? |
172 | 00:06:59,375 | 00:07:02,813 | - Yeah, she's my special lady. | - Yeah, she's my special lady. |
173 | 00:07:04,728 | 00:07:07,949 | - If she's special to you, then she's special to me. | - If she's special to you, then she's special to me. |
174 | 00:07:07,992 | 00:07:11,082 | When can I meet her? How about tonight? | When can I meet her? How about tonight? |
175 | 00:07:11,126 | 00:07:12,344 | - Oh--I--yeah. | - Oh--I--yeah. |
176 | 00:07:12,388 | 00:07:14,521 | No, I don't know if tonight's possible. | No, I don't know if tonight's possible. |
177 | 00:07:14,564 | 00:07:20,701 | Yeah, Nicole is a busy professional work woman, and-- | Yeah, Nicole is a busy professional work woman, and-- |
178 | 00:07:20,744 | 00:07:23,268 | - Oh, actually, you know, I can't tonight, either. | - Oh, actually, you know, I can't tonight, either. |
179 | 00:07:23,312 | 00:07:26,097 | Latisse invited me to his lacrosse team's pool party. | Latisse invited me to his lacrosse team's pool party. |
180 | 00:07:26,141 | 00:07:27,664 | He goes to a magnet school for kids | He goes to a magnet school for kids |
181 | 00:07:27,708 | 00:07:29,623 | who were emancipated from their parents. | who were emancipated from their parents. |
182 | 00:07:29,666 | 00:07:32,277 | - Actually, tonight's good. I just remembered. | - Actually, tonight's good. I just remembered. |
183 | 00:07:32,321 | 00:07:36,543 | You should meet Nicole tonight. | You should meet Nicole tonight. |
184 | 00:07:36,586 | 00:07:40,024 | Let's meet Nicole, all right? | Let's meet Nicole, all right? |
185 | 00:07:47,118 | 00:07:48,859 | - May the most intelligent team win. | - May the most intelligent team win. |
186 | 00:07:48,903 | 00:07:51,035 | Meritocracy! | Meritocracy! |
187 | 00:07:51,079 | 00:07:52,472 | - Friendship! Yay! | - Friendship! Yay! |
188 | 00:07:52,515 | 00:07:54,909 | - Tonight's prize is a big one-- | - Tonight's prize is a big one-- |
189 | 00:07:54,952 | 00:07:56,998 | a bassoon! | a bassoon! |
190 | 00:07:57,041 | 00:07:59,348 | Brand new, still in the case, | Brand new, still in the case, |
191 | 00:07:59,391 | 00:08:01,785 | guess how many times my son played it? | guess how many times my son played it? |
192 | 00:08:01,829 | 00:08:05,180 | The correct answer is none! | The correct answer is none! |
193 | 00:08:07,182 | 00:08:10,054 | The first question is in world geography. | The first question is in world geography. |
194 | 00:08:10,098 | 00:08:12,013 | This sub-equatorial country | This sub-equatorial country |
195 | 00:08:12,056 | 00:08:14,885 | is home to the yellow-tailed woolly monkey | is home to the yellow-tailed woolly monkey |
196 | 00:08:14,929 | 00:08:16,931 | and one marmalade-loving bear-- | and one marmalade-loving bear-- |
197 | 00:08:16,974 | 00:08:18,280 | - Peru! 'Cause Paddington. | - Peru! 'Cause Paddington. |
198 | 00:08:18,323 | 00:08:21,109 | - Correct! - Yes! | - Correct! - Yes! |
199 | 00:08:21,152 | 00:08:22,589 | - Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman, Katie Holmes, | - Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman, Katie Holmes, |
200 | 00:08:22,632 | 00:08:23,764 | and Gorgolzop the Elder. | and Gorgolzop the Elder. |
201 | 00:08:23,807 | 00:08:25,200 | - That's it! | - That's it! |
202 | 00:08:25,243 | 00:08:26,810 | - The gum disease, gingivitis! | - The gum disease, gingivitis! |
203 | 00:08:26,854 | 00:08:28,246 | - Correct again! | - Correct again! |
204 | 00:08:28,290 | 00:08:30,379 | - Dr. Arnold Henry Kegel! - Nailed it! | - Dr. Arnold Henry Kegel! - Nailed it! |
205 | 00:08:30,422 | 00:08:32,816 | What is the capital of Alaska-- | What is the capital of Alaska-- |
206 | 00:08:32,860 | 00:08:34,209 | - That'd be Juneau, Jax. | - That'd be Juneau, Jax. |
207 | 00:08:34,252 | 00:08:36,298 | - You didn't let me finish the question. | - You didn't let me finish the question. |
208 | 00:08:36,341 | 00:08:39,040 | What is the capital of Alaska's main export-- | What is the capital of Alaska's main export-- |
209 | 00:08:39,083 | 00:08:43,131 | - Natural gas. - After natural gas? | - Natural gas. - After natural gas? |
210 | 00:08:43,174 | 00:08:45,612 | - Fishes? - Bingo! | - Fishes? - Bingo! |
211 | 00:08:47,352 | 00:08:49,790 | - You need to relax and listen to the whole question. | - You need to relax and listen to the whole question. |
212 | 00:08:49,833 | 00:08:53,837 | - Oh, a man telling me to relax and listen, | - Oh, a man telling me to relax and listen, |
213 | 00:08:53,881 | 00:08:55,143 | that's some fresh lemonade. | that's some fresh lemonade. |
214 | 00:08:55,186 | 00:08:56,579 | Also, saying, "I knew that one," | Also, saying, "I knew that one," |
215 | 00:08:56,623 | 00:08:58,929 | after every question is not helping our score. | after every question is not helping our score. |
216 | 00:08:58,973 | 00:09:00,278 | - Chocolate babies. | - Chocolate babies. |
217 | 00:09:00,322 | 00:09:01,671 | - I knew that one. - Okay. | - I knew that one. - Okay. |
218 | 00:09:01,715 | 00:09:04,413 | This partnership is over. - Fine, forget it! | This partnership is over. - Fine, forget it! |
219 | 00:09:04,456 | 00:09:05,936 | I don't even need another bassoon. | I don't even need another bassoon. |
220 | 00:09:05,980 | 00:09:07,285 | - "King Lear"! | - "King Lear"! |
221 | 00:09:07,329 | 00:09:08,330 | It's what "Empire" was based off. | It's what "Empire" was based off. |
222 | 00:09:08,373 | 00:09:11,115 | - Correct! And we have a winner! | - Correct! And we have a winner! |
223 | 00:09:11,159 | 00:09:13,291 | - Yes! | - Yes! |
224 | 00:09:13,335 | 00:09:15,772 | - Now come on up and get your bassoon. | - Now come on up and get your bassoon. |
225 | 00:09:15,816 | 00:09:18,645 | - I am so glad you could make it for dinner. | - I am so glad you could make it for dinner. |
226 | 00:09:18,688 | 00:09:21,212 | Thank you, and thank you for making it so last minute. | Thank you, and thank you for making it so last minute. |
227 | 00:09:21,256 | 00:09:22,649 | - Oh, I'm into it. | - Oh, I'm into it. |
228 | 00:09:22,692 | 00:09:24,389 | I usually just have gummy bears for dinner | I usually just have gummy bears for dinner |
229 | 00:09:24,433 | 00:09:25,826 | on my way home from work. | on my way home from work. |
230 | 00:09:25,869 | 00:09:27,349 | - Actually, you know, | - Actually, you know, |
231 | 00:09:27,392 | 00:09:28,698 | I thought that we could have a quiet night tonight. | I thought that we could have a quiet night tonight. |
232 | 00:09:28,742 | 00:09:30,047 | - Oh. | - Oh. |
233 | 00:09:30,091 | 00:09:34,008 | - I'm making my specialty-- turkey à la king! | - I'm making my specialty-- turkey à la king! |
234 | 00:09:34,051 | 00:09:36,358 | - Ooh! Yum, yum, yum! | - Ooh! Yum, yum, yum! |
235 | 00:09:36,401 | 00:09:38,578 | - You must be Daddy's special friend. | - You must be Daddy's special friend. |
236 | 00:09:38,621 | 00:09:39,622 | - Oh, hi! | - Oh, hi! |
237 | 00:09:39,666 | 00:09:42,190 | - Nicole, this is my daughter, Orly. | - Nicole, this is my daughter, Orly. |
238 | 00:09:42,233 | 00:09:43,365 | She's joining us for dinner. | She's joining us for dinner. |
239 | 00:09:43,408 | 00:09:45,628 | - Oh, what a fun surprise. | - Oh, what a fun surprise. |
240 | 00:09:45,672 | 00:09:47,456 | - Can I get you a glass of wine? | - Can I get you a glass of wine? |
241 | 00:09:47,499 | 00:09:48,631 | - Yeah. | - Yeah. |
242 | 00:09:48,675 | 00:09:52,679 | - I am so happy that my dad found you. | - I am so happy that my dad found you. |
243 | 00:09:52,722 | 00:09:55,420 | - Thank you, honey. | - Thank you, honey. |
244 | 00:09:57,901 | 00:10:00,556 | Oh, wow, wow, wow! | Oh, wow, wow, wow! |
245 | 00:10:00,600 | 00:10:02,645 | I can't believe I'm meeting your daughter, Neil. | I can't believe I'm meeting your daughter, Neil. |
246 | 00:10:02,689 | 00:10:05,213 | - All right. Here, taste this. | - All right. Here, taste this. |
247 | 00:10:05,256 | 00:10:07,084 | - Wait, does that have meat in it? | - Wait, does that have meat in it? |
248 | 00:10:07,128 | 00:10:08,695 | - It's turkey à la king. | - It's turkey à la king. |
249 | 00:10:08,738 | 00:10:10,000 | - Oh, well, I'm vegan. | - Oh, well, I'm vegan. |
250 | 00:10:10,044 | 00:10:12,133 | - It has the word turkey in it. | - It has the word turkey in it. |
251 | 00:10:12,176 | 00:10:15,223 | - Dad, how could you not know Nicole is vegan? | - Dad, how could you not know Nicole is vegan? |
252 | 00:10:15,266 | 00:10:17,660 | I guess I forgot. | I guess I forgot. |
253 | 00:10:17,704 | 00:10:20,184 | I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Nicole. | I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Nicole. |
254 | 00:10:20,228 | 00:10:24,058 | Is it--is it hot in here? Let me take your jacket. | Is it--is it hot in here? Let me take your jacket. |
255 | 00:10:24,101 | 00:10:27,235 | - Oh, no! Mm. | - Oh, no! Mm. |
256 | 00:10:27,278 | 00:10:30,020 | - Ah, okay. What else can I tell you? | - Ah, okay. What else can I tell you? |
257 | 00:10:30,064 | 00:10:33,937 | Well, Nicole runs a Pilates studio. | Well, Nicole runs a Pilates studio. |
258 | 00:10:33,981 | 00:10:37,419 | - Oh--oh, no, it was Pilates, but we pivoted. | - Oh--oh, no, it was Pilates, but we pivoted. |
259 | 00:10:37,462 | 00:10:40,640 | Now we do fairy birthday parties for adults. | Now we do fairy birthday parties for adults. |
260 | 00:10:40,683 | 00:10:42,076 | - Ah, okay. | - Ah, okay. |
261 | 00:10:42,119 | 00:10:43,947 | - Is it scary to be in love? | - Is it scary to be in love? |
262 | 00:10:46,820 | 00:10:48,082 | - Um, I see-- | - Um, I see-- |
263 | 00:10:48,125 | 00:10:49,997 | I told Orly that | I told Orly that |
264 | 00:10:50,040 | 00:10:54,262 | I think that you and I have a nice connection. | I think that you and I have a nice connection. |
265 | 00:10:54,305 | 00:10:56,873 | - Yeah, for sure. For sure! | - Yeah, for sure. For sure! |
266 | 00:10:56,917 | 00:10:59,615 | - So, how long have you guys known each other? | - So, how long have you guys known each other? |
267 | 00:10:59,659 | 00:11:01,312 | - Um, six years? | - Um, six years? |
268 | 00:11:01,356 | 00:11:03,445 | - Mm-hmm. - Six years? | - Mm-hmm. - Six years? |
269 | 00:11:03,488 | 00:11:06,535 | Wow, I can't believe I haven't met you before. | Wow, I can't believe I haven't met you before. |
270 | 00:11:06,578 | 00:11:10,278 | - Well, Nicole lives in Tarzana. | - Well, Nicole lives in Tarzana. |
271 | 00:11:10,321 | 00:11:12,889 | - Yeah, and your dad lives here. | - Yeah, and your dad lives here. |
272 | 00:11:12,933 | 00:11:15,152 | Wait, do you live here? | Wait, do you live here? |
273 | 00:11:15,196 | 00:11:16,763 | I remember your place being nicer. | I remember your place being nicer. |
274 | 00:11:16,806 | 00:11:20,984 | - Ah, no, no. I moved here because, you know, | - Ah, no, no. I moved here because, you know, |
275 | 00:11:21,028 | 00:11:22,594 | this is where the mayor lives. | this is where the mayor lives. |
276 | 00:11:22,638 | 00:11:25,293 | - Right. You work for the mayor? | - Right. You work for the mayor? |
277 | 00:11:34,911 | 00:11:36,783 | - Well, thank you for coming. | - Well, thank you for coming. |
278 | 00:11:36,826 | 00:11:38,828 | I hope Orly didn't come on too strong. | I hope Orly didn't come on too strong. |
279 | 00:11:38,872 | 00:11:40,874 | - Oh, no, she's a doll. | - Oh, no, she's a doll. |
280 | 00:11:40,917 | 00:11:44,268 | - I made this for you. - Oh. | - I made this for you. - Oh. |
281 | 00:11:44,312 | 00:11:45,966 | Thank you, Orly. | Thank you, Orly. |
282 | 00:11:46,009 | 00:11:47,707 | It's gonna go right on the mini fridge. | It's gonna go right on the mini fridge. |
283 | 00:11:47,750 | 00:11:49,578 | - Oh, look at that. | - Oh, look at that. |
284 | 00:11:49,621 | 00:11:51,972 | - Bye. | - Bye. |
285 | 00:11:54,322 | 00:11:57,281 | - You should be ashamed of yourself! | - You should be ashamed of yourself! |
286 | 00:11:57,325 | 00:11:58,630 | - I should be ashamed? | - I should be ashamed? |
287 | 00:11:58,674 | 00:12:01,459 | You have been slorshing that lady for six years. | You have been slorshing that lady for six years. |
288 | 00:12:01,503 | 00:12:04,201 | - Well, is that a term, or are you messing with me | - Well, is that a term, or are you messing with me |
289 | 00:12:04,245 | 00:12:06,421 | 'cause you know I'm gonna repeat it? | 'cause you know I'm gonna repeat it? |
290 | 00:12:06,464 | 00:12:09,685 | Oh, all right, fine, Orly. Yeah, you got me. | Oh, all right, fine, Orly. Yeah, you got me. |
291 | 00:12:09,729 | 00:12:12,122 | Nicole is parts before hearts. | Nicole is parts before hearts. |
292 | 00:12:12,166 | 00:12:15,038 | But now she thinks this is a real relationship. | But now she thinks this is a real relationship. |
293 | 00:12:15,082 | 00:12:17,475 | I'm gonna have to somehow find a way to dig myself | I'm gonna have to somehow find a way to dig myself |
294 | 00:12:17,519 | 00:12:20,043 | out of this without hurting her feelings. | out of this without hurting her feelings. |
295 | 00:12:20,087 | 00:12:23,786 | And she happens to be one of the neatest ladies that I see. | And she happens to be one of the neatest ladies that I see. |
296 | 00:12:23,830 | 00:12:26,789 | - Wait, there are other ladies you see? | - Wait, there are other ladies you see? |
297 | 00:12:26,833 | 00:12:28,878 | Do you do this every time I'm away? | Do you do this every time I'm away? |
298 | 00:12:28,922 | 00:12:32,099 | - No--what? Hey, you want a new phone? | - No--what? Hey, you want a new phone? |
299 | 00:12:32,142 | 00:12:33,187 | - When I came back from camp, | - When I came back from camp, |
300 | 00:12:33,230 | 00:12:34,971 | and the hot tub was being cleaned? | and the hot tub was being cleaned? |
301 | 00:12:35,015 | 00:12:37,060 | When the eighth-grade ski trip ended early | When the eighth-grade ski trip ended early |
302 | 00:12:37,104 | 00:12:39,497 | and I found all those Diet Coke cans in the sauna? | and I found all those Diet Coke cans in the sauna? |
303 | 00:12:39,541 | 00:12:40,716 | - Mm... | - Mm... |
304 | 00:12:40,760 | 00:12:42,109 | - When I had my wisdom teeth removed, | - When I had my wisdom teeth removed, |
305 | 00:12:42,152 | 00:12:44,328 | and I had that dream about Cheryl Tiegs? | and I had that dream about Cheryl Tiegs? |
306 | 00:12:44,372 | 00:12:47,331 | - No, that was Cheryl Tiegs. - Oh, my God! | - No, that was Cheryl Tiegs. - Oh, my God! |
307 | 00:12:47,375 | 00:12:50,944 | - All right, yes. Yes, I sneak around, Orly, | - All right, yes. Yes, I sneak around, Orly, |
308 | 00:12:50,987 | 00:12:53,163 | 'cause none of these women are good enough to meet you. | 'cause none of these women are good enough to meet you. |
309 | 00:12:53,207 | 00:12:55,252 | - Well, then be sneakier, because I don't wanna | - Well, then be sneakier, because I don't wanna |
310 | 00:12:55,296 | 00:12:57,733 | have to deal with this grossness ever again! | have to deal with this grossness ever again! |
311 | 00:12:57,777 | 00:13:00,083 | - All right. | - All right. |
312 | 00:13:01,868 | 00:13:04,261 | I'm gonna ask you one more question. | I'm gonna ask you one more question. |
313 | 00:13:04,305 | 00:13:08,048 | You didn't buy me that too-big Tinkerbell outfit, did you? | You didn't buy me that too-big Tinkerbell outfit, did you? |
314 | 00:13:10,050 | 00:13:13,880 | You let me sleep in it all summer! | You let me sleep in it all summer! |
315 | 00:13:13,923 | 00:13:15,229 | - Oh, you're mad? | - Oh, you're mad? |
316 | 00:13:15,272 | 00:13:17,492 | She's the one who got fired from Disneyland | She's the one who got fired from Disneyland |
317 | 00:13:17,535 | 00:13:19,059 | for losing the costume! | for losing the costume! |
318 | 00:13:26,675 | 00:13:30,244 | - That was "Shallow" by Bradley Cooper and Stefani Germanotta. | - That was "Shallow" by Bradley Cooper and Stefani Germanotta. |
319 | 00:13:30,287 | 00:13:32,637 | I'm still learning, but I'll pick it up quickly, | I'm still learning, but I'll pick it up quickly, |
320 | 00:13:32,681 | 00:13:34,378 | 'cause I'm kind of a genius. | 'cause I'm kind of a genius. |
321 | 00:13:34,422 | 00:13:36,380 | - Oh, you're about as funny as a heart attack. | - Oh, you're about as funny as a heart attack. |
322 | 00:13:36,424 | 00:13:38,382 | - You're just jealous 'cause I beat you guys, | - You're just jealous 'cause I beat you guys, |
323 | 00:13:38,426 | 00:13:40,167 | despite having Jayden on my team. | despite having Jayden on my team. |
324 | 00:13:40,210 | 00:13:41,821 | - What do you mean, despite? | - What do you mean, despite? |
325 | 00:13:41,864 | 00:13:44,258 | You think I'm some kinda idiot that can't-- | You think I'm some kinda idiot that can't-- |
326 | 00:13:45,302 | 00:13:46,738 | Intentional! | Intentional! |
327 | 00:13:46,782 | 00:13:48,653 | - Jayden, I'm sorry, but come on. | - Jayden, I'm sorry, but come on. |
328 | 00:13:48,697 | 00:13:50,264 | You know I'm LeBron, | You know I'm LeBron, |
329 | 00:13:50,307 | 00:13:53,006 | and you're, like, the Laker Vanessa Hudgens hooked up with. | and you're, like, the Laker Vanessa Hudgens hooked up with. |
330 | 00:13:53,049 | 00:13:55,443 | - I think you mean Kyle Kuzma. You see? | - I think you mean Kyle Kuzma. You see? |
331 | 00:13:55,486 | 00:13:58,359 | You think you were carrying me? I was carrying you! | You think you were carrying me? I was carrying you! |
332 | 00:13:58,402 | 00:14:00,143 | I ran the board on discontinued candies | I ran the board on discontinued candies |
333 | 00:14:00,187 | 00:14:01,797 | and "Playboy" in the '90s. | and "Playboy" in the '90s. |
334 | 00:14:01,841 | 00:14:03,103 | - Ooh, he's got a point. | - Ooh, he's got a point. |
335 | 00:14:03,146 | 00:14:04,887 | Maybe Jayden should get the bassoon. | Maybe Jayden should get the bassoon. |
336 | 00:14:04,931 | 00:14:06,236 | - Hey, here's a question. | - Hey, here's a question. |
337 | 00:14:06,280 | 00:14:08,891 | Who's not on my trivia team anymore--Mikaela! | Who's not on my trivia team anymore--Mikaela! |
338 | 00:14:08,935 | 00:14:10,023 | - You didn't give me a chance to answer. | - You didn't give me a chance to answer. |
339 | 00:14:10,066 | 00:14:11,546 | - Oh, I knew that one! | - Oh, I knew that one! |
340 | 00:14:11,589 | 00:14:13,940 | - Okay, so maybe we settle this definitively tonight! | - Okay, so maybe we settle this definitively tonight! |
341 | 00:14:13,983 | 00:14:15,332 | - Well, I'm free. | - Well, I'm free. |
342 | 00:14:15,376 | 00:14:16,812 | I finished my section of the budget. | I finished my section of the budget. |
343 | 00:14:16,856 | 00:14:18,379 | - Me too. - I did mine. | - Me too. - I did mine. |
344 | 00:14:18,422 | 00:14:19,815 | Okay, it's on tonight. | Okay, it's on tonight. |
345 | 00:14:19,859 | 00:14:23,819 | Our friend Jax is at Canter's Deli Two in Torrance. | Our friend Jax is at Canter's Deli Two in Torrance. |
346 | 00:14:23,863 | 00:14:25,386 | It's every they for themself. | It's every they for themself. |
347 | 00:14:28,302 | 00:14:30,913 | - Wow, wow, wow! | - Wow, wow, wow! |
348 | 00:14:30,957 | 00:14:33,698 | Two days ago, I did not think I would be visiting your office. | Two days ago, I did not think I would be visiting your office. |
349 | 00:14:33,742 | 00:14:36,571 | - Please, sit down. - Okay. | - Please, sit down. - Okay. |
350 | 00:14:37,877 | 00:14:41,706 | So, Nicole. | So, Nicole. |
351 | 00:14:41,750 | 00:14:47,147 | Boy, these last couple of days have been very special. | Boy, these last couple of days have been very special. |
352 | 00:14:47,190 | 00:14:48,931 | - Neil, please stop, stop! | - Neil, please stop, stop! |
353 | 00:14:48,975 | 00:14:50,933 | I can't see you anymore. I'm so sorry. | I can't see you anymore. I'm so sorry. |
354 | 00:14:50,977 | 00:14:54,937 | - Wait, uh, you can't see me? | - Wait, uh, you can't see me? |
355 | 00:14:54,981 | 00:14:56,286 | - Yeah, I mean, you're fun, | - Yeah, I mean, you're fun, |
356 | 00:14:56,330 | 00:14:58,419 | but I don't think of us as a serious match. | but I don't think of us as a serious match. |
357 | 00:14:58,462 | 00:15:00,682 | You're in my phone as "Short Neil." | You're in my phone as "Short Neil." |
358 | 00:15:00,725 | 00:15:02,205 | - You have a taller Neil? | - You have a taller Neil? |
359 | 00:15:02,249 | 00:15:04,033 | - I just think we're at different places in our lives. | - I just think we're at different places in our lives. |
360 | 00:15:04,077 | 00:15:06,644 | Like, you're looking for a stepmom for your kid, | Like, you're looking for a stepmom for your kid, |
361 | 00:15:06,688 | 00:15:08,951 | or a caregiver, someone to drive at night. | or a caregiver, someone to drive at night. |
362 | 00:15:08,995 | 00:15:10,561 | I am not that girl. | I am not that girl. |
363 | 00:15:10,605 | 00:15:14,739 | I drink at night, and I need to honor that part of myself. | I drink at night, and I need to honor that part of myself. |
364 | 00:15:14,783 | 00:15:17,307 | Well, okay. | Well, okay. |
365 | 00:15:17,351 | 00:15:21,137 | Yeah, I respect your decision. - Yeah, okay. | Yeah, I respect your decision. - Yeah, okay. |
366 | 00:15:21,181 | 00:15:22,878 | - Yeah, but just for the record, sit down for a sec. | - Yeah, but just for the record, sit down for a sec. |
367 | 00:15:22,922 | 00:15:24,793 | - Oh, okay. | - Oh, okay. |
368 | 00:15:24,836 | 00:15:27,143 | - That's not what I'm looking for. | - That's not what I'm looking for. |
369 | 00:15:27,187 | 00:15:29,711 | You know, I enjoy a casual good time. | You know, I enjoy a casual good time. |
370 | 00:15:29,754 | 00:15:30,973 | Orly just caught me. | Orly just caught me. |
371 | 00:15:31,017 | 00:15:33,410 | - Look, I get it. Your wife just died. | - Look, I get it. Your wife just died. |
372 | 00:15:33,454 | 00:15:34,542 | - Well, eight years ago. | - Well, eight years ago. |
373 | 00:15:34,585 | 00:15:36,805 | - Oh, and you're still just hooking up? | - Oh, and you're still just hooking up? |
374 | 00:15:36,848 | 00:15:39,764 | You're, like, 60. | You're, like, 60. |
375 | 00:15:39,808 | 00:15:42,506 | - Yes. What I'm trying to say is, | - Yes. What I'm trying to say is, |
376 | 00:15:42,550 | 00:15:45,248 | I'm not looking for a serious relationship either, | I'm not looking for a serious relationship either, |
377 | 00:15:45,292 | 00:15:47,859 | because my priority is Orly. | because my priority is Orly. |
378 | 00:15:47,903 | 00:15:49,644 | - Okay, but you do realize | - Okay, but you do realize |
379 | 00:15:49,687 | 00:15:52,038 | Orly's gonna go off to college in, like, two years, right? | Orly's gonna go off to college in, like, two years, right? |
380 | 00:15:52,081 | 00:15:53,430 | - My God. Don't say that. | - My God. Don't say that. |
381 | 00:15:53,474 | 00:15:55,084 | - Yeah, and you need to make space for yourself, | - Yeah, and you need to make space for yourself, |
382 | 00:15:55,128 | 00:15:56,520 | and your emotional needs. | and your emotional needs. |
383 | 00:15:56,564 | 00:15:59,132 | My friend Carly went through this as a single mom. | My friend Carly went through this as a single mom. |
384 | 00:15:59,175 | 00:16:00,481 | She wouldn't date for years, | She wouldn't date for years, |
385 | 00:16:00,524 | 00:16:02,004 | and then when Baller went off to college, | and then when Baller went off to college, |
386 | 00:16:02,048 | 00:16:04,006 | she was like, "Now what, I'm 31." | she was like, "Now what, I'm 31." |
387 | 00:16:04,050 | 00:16:05,573 | - Well, maybe I should call Carly. | - Well, maybe I should call Carly. |
388 | 00:16:05,616 | 00:16:07,009 | - You do not wanna do that. | - You do not wanna do that. |
389 | 00:16:07,053 | 00:16:08,402 | Carly is married to an MMA fighter now. | Carly is married to an MMA fighter now. |
390 | 00:16:08,445 | 00:16:09,533 | He will kill you. | He will kill you. |
391 | 00:16:09,577 | 00:16:12,319 | But you might wanna ask yourself, | But you might wanna ask yourself, |
392 | 00:16:12,362 | 00:16:16,105 | "Why am I so closed off to the possibility of real love?" | "Why am I so closed off to the possibility of real love?" |
393 | 00:16:16,149 | 00:16:18,020 | I mean, not with me, because I'm too hot | I mean, not with me, because I'm too hot |
394 | 00:16:18,064 | 00:16:19,413 | to be your wife when your eyes go. | to be your wife when your eyes go. |
395 | 00:16:19,456 | 00:16:23,112 | It would be a waste. But, you know, in general. | It would be a waste. But, you know, in general. |
396 | 00:16:23,156 | 00:16:28,030 | - I guess maybe I use Orly as an excuse. | - I guess maybe I use Orly as an excuse. |
397 | 00:16:28,074 | 00:16:30,554 | Because this is easy. | Because this is easy. |
398 | 00:16:30,598 | 00:16:33,383 | - But dating at 72, ah! | - But dating at 72, ah! |
399 | 00:16:33,427 | 00:16:37,344 | - Oh, my God, sweetie. I'm proud of you! | - Oh, my God, sweetie. I'm proud of you! |
400 | 00:16:37,387 | 00:16:40,042 | Also, personal record for me. | Also, personal record for me. |
401 | 00:16:40,086 | 00:16:43,219 | - It's just maybe my ship has sailed. | - It's just maybe my ship has sailed. |
402 | 00:16:43,263 | 00:16:45,830 | - What, are you kidding? You're a catch. | - What, are you kidding? You're a catch. |
403 | 00:16:45,874 | 00:16:48,746 | You're sweet, you're rich. You work for the mayor. | You're sweet, you're rich. You work for the mayor. |
404 | 00:16:48,790 | 00:16:50,052 | - I am the mayor. | - I am the mayor. |
405 | 00:16:50,096 | 00:16:53,577 | Okay. | Okay. |
406 | 00:16:53,621 | 00:16:55,753 | I'm just saying you might be able to find someone | I'm just saying you might be able to find someone |
407 | 00:16:55,797 | 00:16:58,060 | really great, if you open your heart to it. | really great, if you open your heart to it. |
408 | 00:16:58,104 | 00:17:00,019 | - Thank you, Nicole. | - Thank you, Nicole. |
409 | 00:17:00,062 | 00:17:02,238 | And I--you know what, I hope you-- | And I--you know what, I hope you-- |
410 | 00:17:02,282 | 00:17:04,284 | you find the right person too. | you find the right person too. |
411 | 00:17:04,327 | 00:17:06,329 | - Oh, I don't do monogamy. Big Capricorn energy. | - Oh, I don't do monogamy. Big Capricorn energy. |
412 | 00:17:06,373 | 00:17:08,070 | Also, my dad had a secret family. | Also, my dad had a secret family. |
413 | 00:17:08,114 | 00:17:09,941 | Whatever, it's boring. I gotta go. | Whatever, it's boring. I gotta go. |
414 | 00:17:09,985 | 00:17:12,553 | Bye. - Bye. | Bye. - Bye. |
415 | 00:17:24,913 | 00:17:27,176 | - Here all alone? | - Here all alone? |
416 | 00:17:27,220 | 00:17:28,656 | Sad. | Sad. |
417 | 00:17:30,484 | 00:17:33,313 | - Welcome, welcome, quiz heads. How's everybody doing tonight? | - Welcome, welcome, quiz heads. How's everybody doing tonight? |
418 | 00:17:33,356 | 00:17:34,444 | - Get to the heat of the meet, Jax. | - Get to the heat of the meet, Jax. |
419 | 00:17:34,488 | 00:17:35,750 | - Yeah, we're not here for "Host Chat." | - Yeah, we're not here for "Host Chat." |
420 | 00:17:35,793 | 00:17:37,230 | - Sorry, Jax, they're idiots. | - Sorry, Jax, they're idiots. |
421 | 00:17:37,273 | 00:17:38,840 | - Yeah, that's Mikaela. | - Yeah, that's Mikaela. |
422 | 00:17:38,883 | 00:17:42,061 | I think she's on all the apps, but nothing. | I think she's on all the apps, but nothing. |
423 | 00:17:42,104 | 00:17:44,759 | - What did he say? - Doctor Elephant is a she. | - What did he say? - Doctor Elephant is a she. |
424 | 00:17:44,802 | 00:17:46,326 | - What is wrong with you people? | - What is wrong with you people? |
425 | 00:17:46,369 | 00:17:48,545 | Two nights ago, you were all sitting there together | Two nights ago, you were all sitting there together |
426 | 00:17:48,589 | 00:17:50,678 | sharing a dollar chicken like friends. | sharing a dollar chicken like friends. |
427 | 00:17:50,721 | 00:17:52,549 | - We're not friends, we're coworkers. | - We're not friends, we're coworkers. |
428 | 00:17:52,593 | 00:17:53,811 | - And we did not share that chicken. | - And we did not share that chicken. |
429 | 00:17:53,855 | 00:17:55,683 | - It's true. I ate the whole chicken. | - It's true. I ate the whole chicken. |
430 | 00:17:55,726 | 00:17:57,641 | - Oh, now you're at separate tables? | - Oh, now you're at separate tables? |
431 | 00:17:57,685 | 00:18:00,383 | I mean, what is more important, | I mean, what is more important, |
432 | 00:18:00,427 | 00:18:02,081 | your work family, | your work family, |
433 | 00:18:02,124 | 00:18:05,823 | or this brand new glow-in-the dark samurai sword | or this brand new glow-in-the dark samurai sword |
434 | 00:18:05,867 | 00:18:08,130 | that my son says he's "too old" for, | that my son says he's "too old" for, |
435 | 00:18:08,174 | 00:18:12,352 | and if I were "around more, I'd know that"? | and if I were "around more, I'd know that"? |
436 | 00:18:12,395 | 00:18:16,269 | Anyway, that's the prize tonight. | Anyway, that's the prize tonight. |
437 | 00:18:16,312 | 00:18:18,227 | First question! | First question! |
438 | 00:18:18,271 | 00:18:20,621 | Believe it or not, the city of Los Angeles | Believe it or not, the city of Los Angeles |
439 | 00:18:20,664 | 00:18:23,754 | spends $7.3 million every year just on this, | spends $7.3 million every year just on this, |
440 | 00:18:23,798 | 00:18:25,800 | also known as "shoefitti"? | also known as "shoefitti"? |
441 | 00:18:25,843 | 00:18:27,758 | - Cutting down sneakers from electrical wires! | - Cutting down sneakers from electrical wires! |
442 | 00:18:27,802 | 00:18:29,369 | - Correct! - Yes! | - Correct! - Yes! |
443 | 00:18:29,412 | 00:18:31,327 | Street maintenance was in my section of the budget proof. | Street maintenance was in my section of the budget proof. |
444 | 00:18:31,371 | 00:18:34,243 | - What--no, shoefitti removal was in my part. | - What--no, shoefitti removal was in my part. |
445 | 00:18:34,287 | 00:18:35,940 | I proofed pages 1 through 120. | I proofed pages 1 through 120. |
446 | 00:18:35,984 | 00:18:37,768 | We split it up by seniority, | We split it up by seniority, |
447 | 00:18:37,812 | 00:18:40,119 | and Chief of Staff is the highest. | and Chief of Staff is the highest. |
448 | 00:18:40,162 | 00:18:42,773 | - Yeah, but I'm the Chair of the Budget Committee, | - Yeah, but I'm the Chair of the Budget Committee, |
449 | 00:18:42,817 | 00:18:44,166 | so I'm kinda, like, your king. | so I'm kinda, like, your king. |
450 | 00:18:44,210 | 00:18:47,082 | - Are you two serious? I proofed section one. | - Are you two serious? I proofed section one. |
451 | 00:18:47,126 | 00:18:49,693 | I've been at city hall longer than all of you combined. | I've been at city hall longer than all of you combined. |
452 | 00:18:49,737 | 00:18:52,043 | - I thought I could go first because it's my birthday! | - I thought I could go first because it's my birthday! |
453 | 00:18:52,087 | 00:18:54,133 | - Crap on a cracker. - We didn't finish the budget! | - Crap on a cracker. - We didn't finish the budget! |
454 | 00:18:54,176 | 00:18:55,830 | - We've got 400 pages left to go! | - We've got 400 pages left to go! |
455 | 00:18:55,873 | 00:18:58,180 | - It's due tomorrow! | - It's due tomorrow! |
456 | 00:18:59,834 | 00:19:02,141 | Question two! | Question two! |
457 | 00:19:02,184 | 00:19:05,187 | Are my son and I ever gonna be okay? | Are my son and I ever gonna be okay? |
458 | 00:19:05,231 | 00:19:06,710 | - He loves you. | - He loves you. |
459 | 00:19:06,754 | 00:19:08,799 | Just stop taking your feelings about his mom out on him. | Just stop taking your feelings about his mom out on him. |
460 | 00:19:08,843 | 00:19:11,324 | Also, make a consistent schedule and stick to it! | Also, make a consistent schedule and stick to it! |
461 | 00:19:13,543 | 00:19:15,937 | - Oh, wait, wait. Wait a second. | - Oh, wait, wait. Wait a second. |
462 | 00:19:15,980 | 00:19:17,243 | Okay. | Okay. |
463 | 00:19:17,286 | 00:19:19,854 | - Oh, my God. Why are you hugging Mom's urn? | - Oh, my God. Why are you hugging Mom's urn? |
464 | 00:19:19,897 | 00:19:21,682 | - So women know I'm not divorced. | - So women know I'm not divorced. |
465 | 00:19:21,725 | 00:19:23,379 | - This just looks like you murdered Mom, | - This just looks like you murdered Mom, |
466 | 00:19:23,423 | 00:19:25,990 | and are kind of bragging that you got away with it. | and are kind of bragging that you got away with it. |
467 | 00:19:26,034 | 00:19:27,905 | - Good note. | - Good note. |
468 | 00:19:27,949 | 00:19:31,126 | Okay, so, should I show a lot of teeth when I smile? | Okay, so, should I show a lot of teeth when I smile? |
469 | 00:19:31,170 | 00:19:33,694 | I'm kinda proud of my gum health. | I'm kinda proud of my gum health. |
470 | 00:19:33,737 | 00:19:36,175 | - Dad, just be normal. | - Dad, just be normal. |
471 | 00:19:37,741 | 00:19:40,048 | I don't know. | I don't know. |
472 | 00:19:40,091 | 00:19:41,223 | - There he is! | - There he is! |
473 | 00:19:41,267 | 00:19:43,573 | Okay, now where do we wanna put this? | Okay, now where do we wanna put this? |
474 | 00:19:43,617 | 00:19:45,096 | You're the mayor, so you need some privacy. | You're the mayor, so you need some privacy. |
475 | 00:19:45,140 | 00:19:47,055 | - Well, I already signed up for Postmates. | - Well, I already signed up for Postmates. |
476 | 00:19:47,098 | 00:19:51,581 | - Dad, that's a food thing. For restaurants. | - Dad, that's a food thing. For restaurants. |
477 | 00:19:51,625 | 00:19:53,540 | - So when I checked Cuban, Asian, | - So when I checked Cuban, Asian, |
478 | 00:19:53,583 | 00:19:55,455 | and New American, that was all food? | and New American, that was all food? |
479 | 00:19:55,498 | 00:19:56,978 | - Ew, what? | - Ew, what? |
480 | 00:19:57,021 | 00:19:59,894 | Okay, let's try Graya. It's like old people's Raya. | Okay, let's try Graya. It's like old people's Raya. |
481 | 00:19:59,937 | 00:20:02,244 | Let's pick an appropriate age range. | Let's pick an appropriate age range. |
482 | 00:20:02,288 | 00:20:03,680 | 55 to-- | 55 to-- |
483 | 00:20:03,724 | 00:20:05,334 | - 35? - 75. | - 35? - 75. |
484 | 00:20:05,378 | 00:20:06,857 | God. | God. |
485 | 00:20:06,901 | 00:20:10,687 | All right, yes, yes. Go ahead and hit send. | All right, yes, yes. Go ahead and hit send. |
486 | 00:20:10,731 | 00:20:13,647 | - Save, but good job. | - Save, but good job. |
487 | 00:20:13,690 | 00:20:16,084 | I'm really proud of you. | I'm really proud of you. |
488 | 00:20:16,127 | 00:20:19,174 | It's probably Postmates. | It's probably Postmates. |
489 | 00:20:19,218 | 00:20:21,263 | We're gonna be eating a lot of healthy Armenian | We're gonna be eating a lot of healthy Armenian |
490 | 00:20:21,307 | 00:20:22,830 | the next couple of days. | the next couple of days. |
491 | 00:20:22,873 | 00:20:25,354 | Ooh, that's a nice one. | Ooh, that's a nice one. |
492 | 00:20:25,398 | 00:20:27,661 | Hey, ho. | Hey, ho. |
493 | 00:20:27,704 | 00:20:29,271 | - Here's your budget. | - Here's your budget. |
494 | 00:20:29,315 | 00:20:30,925 | Checked, re-checked, | Checked, re-checked, |
495 | 00:20:30,968 | 00:20:33,275 | and then we got a little crazy and checked it again. | and then we got a little crazy and checked it again. |
496 | 00:20:33,319 | 00:20:35,495 | - But the important thing is, we did it together, | - But the important thing is, we did it together, |
497 | 00:20:35,538 | 00:20:37,366 | and we're all the smartest. | and we're all the smartest. |
498 | 00:20:37,410 | 00:20:40,021 | And at midnight, we did Bloody Mary in the mirror! | And at midnight, we did Bloody Mary in the mirror! |
499 | 00:20:40,064 | 00:20:42,806 | - Only Jayden did that, sir, and he soiled himself. | - Only Jayden did that, sir, and he soiled himself. |
500 | 00:20:42,850 | 00:20:45,592 | - I got these out of a lost and found. | - I got these out of a lost and found. |
501 | 00:20:45,635 | 00:20:48,769 | - Hey, Tommy. Ooh! | - Hey, Tommy. Ooh! |
502 | 00:20:48,812 | 00:20:50,901 | Do you usually straighten your hair? | Do you usually straighten your hair? |
503 | 00:20:50,945 | 00:20:53,252 | - Oh, no, no, no, no. | - Oh, no, no, no, no. |
504 | 00:20:53,295 | 00:20:57,125 | She poofed! This is why I left London. | She poofed! This is why I left London. |
505 | 00:20:59,170 | 00:21:01,825 | - Anyway, great job, you guys. Thank you very much. | - Anyway, great job, you guys. Thank you very much. |
506 | 00:21:01,869 | 00:21:05,655 | One tiny note. | One tiny note. |
507 | 00:21:05,699 | 00:21:08,702 | Cover page says "City Bulget." | Cover page says "City Bulget." |
508 | 00:21:08,745 | 00:21:10,486 | Tommy! | Tommy! |
509 | 00:21:10,530 | 00:21:12,923 | - All right, back to work. | - All right, back to work. |
510 | 00:21:12,967 | 00:21:15,839 | Jayden, do your thing. | Jayden, do your thing. |
511 | 00:21:21,600 | 00:21:23,600 | Corrected by == Flatto (subscene.com) == | Corrected by == Flatto (subscene.com) == |