# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:05,041 00:00:07,542 ♪ Look at that sun Look at that sky ♪ ♪ Look at that sun Look at that sky ♪
2 00:00:07,625 00:00:09,959 ♪ Look at my sweater vest I look so fly ♪ ♪ Look at my sweater vest I look so fly ♪
3 00:00:10,041 00:00:12,458 ♪ Look at that mailbox Look at that tree ♪ ♪ Look at that mailbox Look at that tree ♪
4 00:00:12,542 00:00:15,166 ♪ It's about as beautiful as it can be ♪ ♪ It's about as beautiful as it can be ♪
5 00:00:15,250 00:00:17,667 ♪ Whoa ♪ Whoa
6 00:00:17,750 00:00:20,166 ♪ Today is gonna be exceptional ♪ ♪ Today is gonna be exceptional ♪
7 00:00:20,250 00:00:22,291 ♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪ ♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪
8 00:00:22,375 00:00:25,000 ♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪ ♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪
9 00:00:25,291 00:00:30,166 ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪ ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
10 00:00:30,667 00:00:32,500 ♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪ ♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪
11 00:00:32,583 00:00:35,333 ♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪ ♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪
12 00:00:41,000 00:00:45,583 So you're saying the word "cowboy" has nothing to do with cows or boys? So you're saying the word "cowboy" has nothing to do with cows or boys?
13 00:00:45,667 00:00:47,500 Absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing.
14 00:00:47,834 00:00:49,250 -Hey, Milo. -Hey, guys. -Hey, Milo. -Hey, guys.
15 00:00:49,333 00:00:50,583 Hey, Milo's friends. Hey, Milo's friends.
16 00:00:50,667 00:00:51,750 Oh, hi, Dr. D. Oh, hi, Dr. D.
17 00:00:51,834 00:00:52,834 What are you doing here? What are you doing here?
18 00:00:52,917 00:00:54,250 He's shadowing me today. He's shadowing me today.
19 00:00:54,333 00:00:57,917 Yeah, long story, you see, bad things happen to me all the time. Yeah, long story, you see, bad things happen to me all the time.
20 00:00:58,000 00:01:00,750 Seriously, it's practically my own Murphy's Law. Seriously, it's practically my own Murphy's Law.
21 00:01:00,959 00:01:04,083 Like Doof's Law or Heinz' Law. Like Doof's Law or Heinz' Law.
22 00:01:04,166 00:01:07,333 Heinz' Law. It's like coleslaw but Heinz' Law. Heinz' Law. It's like coleslaw but Heinz' Law.
23 00:01:07,583 00:01:08,792 I should market that. I should market that.
24 00:01:08,875 00:01:11,166 ♪ If you're looking for a food You can take on a picnic ♪ ♪ If you're looking for a food You can take on a picnic ♪
25 00:01:11,250 00:01:13,041 ♪ Try Heinz ' Law ♪ ♪ Try Heinz ' Law ♪
26 00:01:13,125 00:01:15,166 It's 30% horseradish. It's 30% horseradish.
27 00:01:15,709 00:01:16,875 So anyway... So anyway...
28 00:01:17,542 00:01:20,709 Right. So I just thought maybe I could tag along Right. So I just thought maybe I could tag along
29 00:01:20,792 00:01:22,792 and see how the kid deals with it. and see how the kid deals with it.
30 00:01:22,875 00:01:25,750 So you're just gonna come to school with us today? So you're just gonna come to school with us today?
31 00:01:25,834 00:01:26,667 Yep. Yep.
32 00:01:26,750 00:01:29,625 You still don't have a job or something else you should be doing? You still don't have a job or something else you should be doing?
33 00:01:29,709 00:01:30,959 Nope. Nope.
34 00:01:33,208 00:01:34,917 [wind whistling] [wind whistling]
35 00:01:37,709 00:01:39,709 Did I tell you guys about how I was raised by ocelots? Did I tell you guys about how I was raised by ocelots?
36 00:01:39,792 00:01:41,792 -Oh, here's the bus. -Thank goodness. -Oh, here's the bus. -Thank goodness.
37 00:01:42,875 00:01:46,125 So Milo. This whole Murphy's Law thing... So Milo. This whole Murphy's Law thing...
38 00:01:46,208 00:01:49,959 How carefully have you been able to track the frequency, duration and intensity How carefully have you been able to track the frequency, duration and intensity
39 00:01:50,041 00:01:52,875 of occurrence? 'Cause I've been doing that with my own negative events. of occurrence? 'Cause I've been doing that with my own negative events.
40 00:01:55,291 00:01:58,500 This is when a giant ball of tin foil ripped the roof off my building. This is when a giant ball of tin foil ripped the roof off my building.
41 00:01:58,583 00:02:00,709 Here's the first time I blew up, and then, uh... Here's the first time I blew up, and then, uh...
42 00:02:00,959 00:02:02,875 This is where I got tied to that birthday... This is where I got tied to that birthday...
43 00:02:02,959 00:02:06,625 Oh, here's where I opened a ream of paper in a school bus and crashed into a subway. Oh, here's where I opened a ream of paper in a school bus and crashed into a subway.
44 00:02:07,625 00:02:10,750 This time I wouldn't have had the time to add it to the list, This time I wouldn't have had the time to add it to the list,
45 00:02:10,834 00:02:12,166 but it was the first time that happened. but it was the first time that happened.
46 00:02:15,125 00:02:17,375 Ah, the bus fairy got my letter! Ah, the bus fairy got my letter!
47 00:02:17,458 00:02:19,917 So was that Murphy's Law? So was that Murphy's Law?
48 00:02:20,000 00:02:22,208 Nope. That was all you. Nope. That was all you.
49 00:02:23,750 00:02:26,750 But if it was Murphy's Law, how would you deal with it? But if it was Murphy's Law, how would you deal with it?
50 00:02:26,834 00:02:28,875 I just stay calm and lead everyone to the surface. I just stay calm and lead everyone to the surface.
51 00:02:28,959 00:02:31,834 And we're walking. We're walking. And we're walking. We're walking.
52 00:02:31,917 00:02:35,291 Interesting. See, I would've continued with the thing that I was doing. Interesting. See, I would've continued with the thing that I was doing.
53 00:02:35,375 00:02:38,542 Opening a ream of paper in a school bus so it crashes into the subway? Opening a ream of paper in a school bus so it crashes into the subway?
54 00:02:38,625 00:02:41,083 Yeah, that's right, and I would just keep doing that Yeah, that's right, and I would just keep doing that
55 00:02:41,166 00:02:42,667 until I got thwarted, but hey, until I got thwarted, but hey,
56 00:02:42,750 00:02:45,000 that's why I'm here, right? To live and learn. that's why I'm here, right? To live and learn.
57 00:02:46,291 00:02:48,834 So what's on the docket here for PE class? So what's on the docket here for PE class?
58 00:02:48,917 00:02:51,917 What kinda of crazy shenanigans can we expect? What kinda of crazy shenanigans can we expect?
59 00:02:52,000 00:02:54,208 Is it a barrage of flaming volleyballs? Is it a barrage of flaming volleyballs?
60 00:02:54,291 00:02:56,667 A marauding band of lacrosse sticks? A marauding band of lacrosse sticks?
61 00:02:56,750 00:02:58,500 Actually, all we do is stretch. Actually, all we do is stretch.
62 00:02:58,583 00:03:00,709 Yeah, the coach is never here on Wednesday mornings. Yeah, the coach is never here on Wednesday mornings.
63 00:03:00,792 00:03:02,542 I wonder where he goes. I wonder where he goes.
64 00:03:05,291 00:03:06,834 [Coach] Okay, I'll start. [Coach] Okay, I'll start.
65 00:03:06,917 00:03:09,250 Hello, my name is Coach, Hello, my name is Coach,
66 00:03:09,333 00:03:12,625 and I believe we are being visited by extraterrestrial entities. and I believe we are being visited by extraterrestrial entities.
67 00:03:12,959 00:03:14,542 Oh, that's true as turkey. Oh, that's true as turkey.
68 00:03:14,625 00:03:16,500 You're preaching to the choir. You're preaching to the choir.
69 00:03:17,000 00:03:19,959 Seriously, y'all shouldn't be here. You don't get the room till 10:30. Seriously, y'all shouldn't be here. You don't get the room till 10:30.
70 00:03:20,041 00:03:21,041 Oh. Oh.
71 00:03:21,125 00:03:23,291 ♪ Sorry ♪ ♪ Sorry ♪
72 00:03:24,750 00:03:27,458 So anyway, [clears throat] about two weeks ago, So anyway, [clears throat] about two weeks ago,
73 00:03:27,542 00:03:29,875 I was parked by the side of the road, see? I was parked by the side of the road, see?
74 00:03:29,959 00:03:31,625 Shut my eyes for a few seconds... Shut my eyes for a few seconds...
75 00:03:31,709 00:03:32,709 -[horn sounds] -[snoring] -[horn sounds] -[snoring]
76 00:03:33,875 00:03:37,458 And the next thing I knew, an entire hour had passed by. And the next thing I knew, an entire hour had passed by.
77 00:03:38,458 00:03:40,166 [both] Missing time. [both] Missing time.
78 00:03:40,250 00:03:42,667 Was there a bright light? Were you immobilized? Was there a bright light? Were you immobilized?
79 00:03:42,750 00:03:46,125 Did they examine you in horrible, demeaning ways? Did they examine you in horrible, demeaning ways?
80 00:03:47,000 00:03:50,583 Excuse me, is this the Konsortium Of Other Worldly Knowledge Seekers? Excuse me, is this the Konsortium Of Other Worldly Knowledge Seekers?
81 00:03:50,667 00:03:51,959 That's us. That's us.
82 00:03:52,041 00:03:53,667 Oh, yes. I see. Oh, yes. I see.
83 00:03:54,083 00:03:56,542 Just one question. You spelt "Consortium" with a "K". Just one question. You spelt "Consortium" with a "K".
84 00:03:56,625 00:03:58,417 You realize that's a "C", yes? You realize that's a "C", yes?
85 00:03:58,500 00:03:59,917 Yeah but then it would spell "cooks." Yeah but then it would spell "cooks."
86 00:04:00,000 00:04:01,500 And we are not cooks. And we are not cooks.
87 00:04:01,834 00:04:04,291 I mean except for Evan. He actually is a cook. I mean except for Evan. He actually is a cook.
88 00:04:04,375 00:04:06,166 Well, technically, I'm a sous chef. Well, technically, I'm a sous chef.
89 00:04:06,250 00:04:07,375 That's true as turkey. That's true as turkey.
90 00:04:07,458 00:04:09,583 Ironically, a dish I do not cook. Ironically, a dish I do not cook.
91 00:04:11,000 00:04:13,458 Wow. You know, when I was in middle school, Wow. You know, when I was in middle school,
92 00:04:13,542 00:04:15,750 we didn't have things like computers and cell phones, we didn't have things like computers and cell phones,
93 00:04:15,834 00:04:17,750 or indoor plumbing. Or indoor anything, really. or indoor plumbing. Or indoor anything, really.
94 00:04:17,834 00:04:21,208 We went to school outside where teachers would just throw pine cones at us. We went to school outside where teachers would just throw pine cones at us.
95 00:04:24,709 00:04:26,667 Hey, that must be your bad Hey, that must be your bad
96 00:04:26,750 00:04:29,041 because if it was Heinz' Law, it would've hit me right on... because if it was Heinz' Law, it would've hit me right on...
97 00:04:30,000 00:04:31,709 -See? See, like that. -[crash] -See? See, like that. -[crash]
98 00:04:32,458 00:04:34,125 Okay, now it's not believable. Okay, now it's not believable.
99 00:04:34,375 00:04:35,375 [crash] [crash]
100 00:04:35,875 00:04:39,083 [Doofenshmirtz] Seriously, how many ceiling fans are there in that one spot? [Doofenshmirtz] Seriously, how many ceiling fans are there in that one spot?
101 00:04:40,041 00:04:41,792 Nice work with the inflatable, by the way. Nice work with the inflatable, by the way.
102 00:04:41,875 00:04:46,458 Is that your go-to move? Your MO? Your Murphy Operandi? Is that your go-to move? Your MO? Your Murphy Operandi?
103 00:04:46,542 00:04:48,125 Well, not specifically a raft, Well, not specifically a raft,
104 00:04:48,208 00:04:52,000 but it is important to be prepared for any eventuality. but it is important to be prepared for any eventuality.
105 00:04:52,083 00:04:54,458 That's why I asked you to pack your own backpack. That's why I asked you to pack your own backpack.
106 00:04:54,542 00:04:55,709 So what did you bring? So what did you bring?
107 00:04:55,792 00:04:57,083 I got all kinds of things. I got all kinds of things.
108 00:04:57,166 00:04:59,083 I got a waffle-into- pancake-anator. I got a waffle-into- pancake-anator.
109 00:04:59,166 00:05:00,792 I got a gorilla shave-anator. I got a gorilla shave-anator.
110 00:05:00,875 00:05:02,667 I got a cube that makes pink foam. I got a cube that makes pink foam.
111 00:05:02,750 00:05:05,333 Okay, class. Eyes up here on my desk. Okay, class. Eyes up here on my desk.
112 00:05:05,458 00:05:07,625 My beautiful, pitiful desk. My beautiful, pitiful desk.
113 00:05:07,709 00:05:10,166 Today we'll be working with the Bunsen burner. Today we'll be working with the Bunsen burner.
114 00:05:10,250 00:05:11,333 So... So...
115 00:05:11,792 00:05:12,875 [shrieks] [shrieks]
116 00:05:12,959 00:05:14,750 Murphy's Law! I got this one! Murphy's Law! I got this one!
117 00:05:14,834 00:05:16,625 [explosion] [explosion]
118 00:05:17,417 00:05:21,333 Okay, so the fire's out, but hey, guys, don't get that stuff in your mouth. Okay, so the fire's out, but hey, guys, don't get that stuff in your mouth.
119 00:05:21,417 00:05:23,291 It's 70% horseradish. It's 70% horseradish.
120 00:05:24,417 00:05:26,667 [man] Are you sure you're in the right place? [man] Are you sure you're in the right place?
121 00:05:26,750 00:05:28,834 Yes, well, I was hoping to exchange some information, Yes, well, I was hoping to exchange some information,
122 00:05:28,917 00:05:30,041 but clearly I've made a mistake. but clearly I've made a mistake.
123 00:05:30,125 00:05:34,375 You fellas continue with your hootenanny or whatever this is. You fellas continue with your hootenanny or whatever this is.
124 00:05:34,458 00:05:36,959 No, no, please. Join us. No, no, please. Join us.
125 00:05:37,041 00:05:40,083 Mr. Chaffy was about to speak. Mr. Chaffy... Mr. Chaffy was about to speak. Mr. Chaffy...
126 00:05:40,166 00:05:44,125 It was because of those aliens that I got this bruise on my head. It was because of those aliens that I got this bruise on my head.
127 00:05:45,166 00:05:47,125 I remember it all so clear. I remember it all so clear.
128 00:05:47,208 00:05:49,792 They had me strapped to some sort of examining table. They had me strapped to some sort of examining table.
129 00:05:50,125 00:05:52,667 There were two of them. Maybe three. There were two of them. Maybe three.
130 00:05:52,750 00:05:56,625 Maybe more than that. A couple more. No, maybe less. Maybe more than that. A couple more. No, maybe less.
131 00:05:57,083 00:05:59,750 Well, there were less than six, I know that. Well, there were less than six, I know that.
132 00:05:59,834 00:06:02,166 They were freakishly tall and gray. They were freakishly tall and gray.
133 00:06:02,417 00:06:06,291 I think maybe green. Maybe greenish-gray. I think maybe green. Maybe greenish-gray.
134 00:06:06,375 00:06:09,875 They could read my mind. They were getting into my brain. They could read my mind. They were getting into my brain.
135 00:06:09,959 00:06:11,375 And I couldn't take it any longer! And I couldn't take it any longer!
136 00:06:11,458 00:06:12,542 [screaming] [screaming]
137 00:06:12,625 00:06:13,625 [clangs] [clangs]
138 00:06:15,291 00:06:16,875 And I woke up with this bruise. And I woke up with this bruise.
139 00:06:16,959 00:06:19,834 And that's a sure sign of an alien abduction. And that's a sure sign of an alien abduction.
140 00:06:19,917 00:06:20,917 True as turkey. True as turkey.
141 00:06:21,000 00:06:22,667 There's no other explanation. There's no other explanation.
142 00:06:22,750 00:06:26,875 Fascinating. Now, can you tell me exactly where and when you had your encounter? Fascinating. Now, can you tell me exactly where and when you had your encounter?
143 00:06:26,959 00:06:30,041 No, no, what is said in group, stays in group. No, no, what is said in group, stays in group.
144 00:06:30,125 00:06:33,125 Not everyone here is comfortable announcing their experiences to the world. Not everyone here is comfortable announcing their experiences to the world.
145 00:06:33,208 00:06:36,125 How about you Mr. Fancy Pants, what's your story? How about you Mr. Fancy Pants, what's your story?
146 00:06:36,208 00:06:40,250 Hold on to your hats, gentlemen, and prepare to have your minds blown! Hold on to your hats, gentlemen, and prepare to have your minds blown!
147 00:06:43,750 00:06:46,834 I mean those of you who have one to blow. I mean those of you who have one to blow.
148 00:06:47,166 00:06:48,625 [Doofenshmirtz] You maybe right, Milo. [Doofenshmirtz] You maybe right, Milo.
149 00:06:48,709 00:06:50,458 The key to everything is the backpack. The key to everything is the backpack.
150 00:06:50,542 00:06:51,792 I think I... I think I...
151 00:06:52,083 00:06:53,291 Hey, someone could trip. Hey, someone could trip.
152 00:06:53,542 00:06:55,291 Back away from the dangerous spheroid. Back away from the dangerous spheroid.
153 00:06:55,375 00:06:56,667 I could just pick it up... I could just pick it up...
154 00:06:56,750 00:06:59,458 Behold! The Shrinkinator! Behold! The Shrinkinator!
155 00:06:59,542 00:07:01,625 [zaps laser] [zaps laser]
156 00:07:03,667 00:07:06,583 It's supposed to shrink, I don't know why it got so big... It's supposed to shrink, I don't know why it got so big...
157 00:07:06,667 00:07:09,625 Or I don't know why it's moving on its own volition! Or I don't know why it's moving on its own volition!
158 00:07:10,917 00:07:13,792 ♪ Sometimes it looks like There is no solution ♪ ♪ Sometimes it looks like There is no solution ♪
159 00:07:13,875 00:07:17,542 ♪ You wish you had A stronger constitution ♪ ♪ You wish you had A stronger constitution ♪
160 00:07:17,625 00:07:20,667 ♪ Don't have to worry 'Bout mistakes you made ♪ ♪ Don't have to worry 'Bout mistakes you made ♪
161 00:07:20,750 00:07:23,709 ♪ When life gives you lemons, You make lemonade ♪ ♪ When life gives you lemons, You make lemonade ♪
162 00:07:25,250 00:07:27,458 ♪ Hey, whatcha gonna do? ♪ ♪ Hey, whatcha gonna do? ♪
163 00:07:27,542 00:07:30,709 ♪ There's gotta be something That'll get you through ♪ ♪ There's gotta be something That'll get you through ♪
164 00:07:31,041 00:07:36,709 ♪ The world is gonna shake you But don't you let it break you in two ♪ ♪ The world is gonna shake you But don't you let it break you in two ♪
165 00:07:36,792 00:07:38,125 ♪ Oh yeah ♪ ♪ Oh yeah ♪
166 00:07:38,208 00:07:41,792 ♪ You can schedule and plan, But you gotta understand ♪ ♪ You can schedule and plan, But you gotta understand ♪
167 00:07:41,875 00:07:44,417 ♪ You're never really in control ♪ ♪ You're never really in control ♪
168 00:07:44,500 00:07:48,792 ♪ You gotta learn to let go And just roll with it ♪ ♪ You gotta learn to let go And just roll with it ♪
169 00:07:49,208 00:07:51,542 Ah, see, it was working. Ah, see, it was working.
170 00:07:51,625 00:07:54,375 I just missed. I didn't make the ball bigger. I just missed. I didn't make the ball bigger.
171 00:07:55,083 00:07:57,667 I made the school and us smaller. I made the school and us smaller.
172 00:07:57,750 00:08:00,917 See? It worked. It's working, it's... See? It worked. It's working, it's...
173 00:08:01,083 00:08:02,917 It's functioning properly, at least. It's functioning properly, at least.
174 00:08:04,500 00:08:06,709 Wait a minute. Where's the school? Wait a minute. Where's the school?
175 00:08:07,291 00:08:08,417 [laser zaps] [laser zaps]
176 00:08:08,500 00:08:11,583 [yelling] [yelling]
177 00:08:13,625 00:08:16,458 Oh, no, not the ducks! Not the ducks! Oh, no, not the ducks! Not the ducks!
178 00:08:16,750 00:08:19,041 What I'm about to tell you is top secret. What I'm about to tell you is top secret.
179 00:08:19,959 00:08:24,000 There's a clandestine government agency that deals with interstellar visitors. There's a clandestine government agency that deals with interstellar visitors.
180 00:08:24,083 00:08:25,208 [all] I knew it. [all] I knew it.
181 00:08:25,291 00:08:27,208 The government has been covertly covering up The government has been covertly covering up
182 00:08:27,291 00:08:29,125 the existence of aliens altogether. the existence of aliens altogether.
183 00:08:29,208 00:08:30,792 [all] I knew it! [all] I knew it!
184 00:08:30,875 00:08:34,625 To the point that they appoint people to pick up the extraterrestrial's garbage. To the point that they appoint people to pick up the extraterrestrial's garbage.
185 00:08:37,125 00:08:38,709 Now, that's just crazy. Now, that's just crazy.
186 00:08:39,083 00:08:42,417 How stupid do you think we are? Nobody would do that. How stupid do you think we are? Nobody would do that.
187 00:08:42,500 00:08:46,458 No, it's true. I worked for the government agency PIG. No, it's true. I worked for the government agency PIG.
188 00:08:46,542 00:08:47,625 PIG? PIG?
189 00:08:47,709 00:08:49,417 Paranormal Investigation Group. Paranormal Investigation Group.
190 00:08:49,625 00:08:53,208 Actually, I worked for the subdivision of that group which is also called PIG, Actually, I worked for the subdivision of that group which is also called PIG,
191 00:08:53,291 00:08:55,125 but it stands for Purveyors of Intergalactic Garbage. but it stands for Purveyors of Intergalactic Garbage.
192 00:08:55,208 00:08:56,375 But you get the idea. But you get the idea.
193 00:08:56,458 00:08:59,208 And once I proved the real danger to my boss, Mr. Blanc... And once I proved the real danger to my boss, Mr. Blanc...
194 00:08:59,291 00:09:01,417 Your boss who makes you pick up trash. Your boss who makes you pick up trash.
195 00:09:01,500 00:09:03,000 Yes, but you're missing the point. Yes, but you're missing the point.
196 00:09:03,250 00:09:05,709 Which is what? That you're some kinda alien garbage man? Which is what? That you're some kinda alien garbage man?
197 00:09:05,792 00:09:08,083 No, I mean... Yes, but in a way, but... No, I mean... Yes, but in a way, but...
198 00:09:08,166 00:09:09,709 Are you makin' fun of us? Are you makin' fun of us?
199 00:09:09,792 00:09:12,875 No, I'm not making fun of you and believe me, that's taken a lot of restraint, No, I'm not making fun of you and believe me, that's taken a lot of restraint,
200 00:09:12,959 00:09:16,041 because your gentlemen are absolutely... because your gentlemen are absolutely...
201 00:09:19,875 00:09:20,875 [Diogee barks] [Diogee barks]
202 00:09:20,959 00:09:24,417 Diogee, go home. You shouldn't be at school. Diogee, go home. You shouldn't be at school.
203 00:09:24,500 00:09:26,959 Oh, wait. Domestic animal who's in the classroom. Oh, wait. Domestic animal who's in the classroom.
204 00:09:27,041 00:09:28,875 Total candidate for Murphy's Law. Total candidate for Murphy's Law.
205 00:09:28,959 00:09:32,000 I got this. Time for the go-home-inator. I got this. Time for the go-home-inator.
206 00:09:34,291 00:09:35,709 Is everyone beholding? Is everyone beholding?
207 00:09:35,792 00:09:36,792 [laser zaps] [laser zaps]
208 00:09:45,083 00:09:46,834 Okay, I'm going home. Okay, I'm going home.
209 00:09:47,166 00:09:48,542 [patient groans] [patient groans]
210 00:09:49,625 00:09:50,917 [organ plays] [organ plays]
211 00:09:51,000 00:09:52,166 [crowd cheering] [crowd cheering]
212 00:09:56,875 00:09:58,041 Uh. Safe. I guess. Uh. Safe. I guess.
213 00:09:58,625 00:10:01,625 Mark my words. Something strange is afoot. Mark my words. Something strange is afoot.
214 00:10:01,709 00:10:04,291 There is more going on here than anyone is telling you. There is more going on here than anyone is telling you.
215 00:10:04,375 00:10:06,333 The aliens are among us! The aliens are among us!
216 00:10:06,583 00:10:10,875 He knows too much. We must remove him from the equation. He knows too much. We must remove him from the equation.
217 00:10:16,375 00:10:18,291 Wait. Why are we going home? Wait. Why are we going home?
218 00:10:19,959 00:10:21,458 [barks] [barks]
219 00:10:22,208 00:10:25,542 Yes! Another victory over Murphy's Law! Yes! Another victory over Murphy's Law!
220 00:10:25,625 00:10:26,917 Victory dance! Victory dance!
221 00:10:27,000 00:10:27,959 [upbeat music playing] [upbeat music playing]
222 00:10:28,041 00:10:29,458 Yeah, that's right. I got it. Yeah, that's right. I got it.
223 00:10:29,542 00:10:32,166 I got it. Look at me, mama. I got it. Look at me, mama.
224 00:10:32,250 00:10:34,083 I'm like a cereal commercial from the '80s. I'm like a cereal commercial from the '80s.
225 00:10:34,166 00:10:35,417 Ow! Ow!
226 00:10:37,375 00:10:38,583 I give up, Milo. I give up, Milo.
227 00:10:38,709 00:10:41,834 I packed my backpack, I tried to do everything you do, I packed my backpack, I tried to do everything you do,
228 00:10:41,917 00:10:45,250 but I was still unable to deal with all the bad stuff that happened. but I was still unable to deal with all the bad stuff that happened.
229 00:10:45,333 00:10:48,500 You know, you can seriously limit the number of bad things that happen to you You know, you can seriously limit the number of bad things that happen to you
230 00:10:48,583 00:10:51,542 by thinking things through a little better, Dr. D. by thinking things through a little better, Dr. D.
231 00:10:51,625 00:10:55,375 Thinking things through? A little better? Thinking things through? A little better?
232 00:10:55,917 00:10:57,291 Dr. D? Dr. D?
233 00:10:57,959 00:10:59,083 Hmm. Hmm.
234 00:10:59,542 00:11:01,417 [wind whistling] [wind whistling]
235 00:11:02,166 00:11:03,542 Yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen. Yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen.
236 00:11:03,625 00:11:06,125 ♪ It's my world and we're All livin' in it ♪ ♪ It's my world and we're All livin' in it ♪
237 00:11:11,709 00:11:15,667 Maintaining minimum safe distance from designate Milo Murphy. Maintaining minimum safe distance from designate Milo Murphy.
238 00:11:15,750 00:11:18,917 Negative probability ions. Moderate. Negative probability ions. Moderate.
239 00:11:19,000 00:11:21,000 I already sent you that form twice. I already sent you that form twice.
240 00:11:21,625 00:11:24,250 I know people say triplicate, but nobody knows what that means. I know people say triplicate, but nobody knows what that means.
241 00:11:24,333 00:11:26,542 Why do I need to send you a form if I'm already... Why do I need to send you a form if I'm already...
242 00:11:26,625 00:11:29,125 Look. I'm just trying to command an intergalactic space fleet. Look. I'm just trying to command an intergalactic space fleet.
243 00:11:29,208 00:11:31,250 So if somebody from maintenance could just come up... So if somebody from maintenance could just come up...
244 00:11:31,333 00:11:33,917 -[line disconnects] -Hello? Hello. -[line disconnects] -Hello? Hello.
245 00:11:34,000 00:11:37,041 Pilot, where are my field agents? They should've been here by now. Pilot, where are my field agents? They should've been here by now.
246 00:11:39,792 00:11:41,125 Another one for the books, bro! Another one for the books, bro!
247 00:11:41,208 00:11:45,750 Gentlemen. Impressive camouflage, you are my very best. Gentlemen. Impressive camouflage, you are my very best.
248 00:11:45,834 00:11:46,917 My favorites. My favorites.
249 00:11:47,000 00:11:48,792 Oh, wait. We have more. Oh, wait. We have more.
250 00:11:50,959 00:11:52,875 Yeah, no. No cows this time. Yeah, no. No cows this time.
251 00:11:53,750 00:11:56,291 But I do need your special talents. But I do need your special talents.
252 00:11:56,375 00:11:57,458 Well, we are your favorites. Well, we are your favorites.
253 00:11:57,542 00:12:00,166 You said it, we didn't. We said after you said it, You said it, we didn't. We said after you said it,
254 00:12:00,250 00:12:01,875 -but we were just agreeing with you. -[clears throat] -but we were just agreeing with you. -[clears throat]
255 00:12:01,959 00:12:04,750 I need you to recover a biological tissue sample I need you to recover a biological tissue sample
256 00:12:04,834 00:12:07,583 from Earth human designate Milo Murphy. from Earth human designate Milo Murphy.
257 00:12:09,166 00:12:11,875 May I say, ma'am... Uh, no, ma'am. May I say, ma'am... Uh, no, ma'am.
258 00:12:11,959 00:12:13,667 With respect, ma'am. This is what happened With respect, ma'am. This is what happened
259 00:12:13,750 00:12:15,291 when we were just trying to observe him. when we were just trying to observe him.
260 00:12:18,875 00:12:22,500 And that's exactly why I'm sending the two of you. And that's exactly why I'm sending the two of you.
261 00:12:23,083 00:12:25,000 My favorites. My favorites.
262 00:12:25,333 00:12:26,291 [both gulp] [both gulp]
263 00:12:26,375 00:12:27,750 We're still her favorites. We're still her favorites.
264 00:12:27,834 00:12:28,875 She said it first. She said it first.
265 00:12:34,500 00:12:37,667 I just hope he gets better soon. For his sake and for ours. I just hope he gets better soon. For his sake and for ours.
266 00:12:37,750 00:12:40,083 I actually had to take the bus to school today. I actually had to take the bus to school today.
267 00:12:40,166 00:12:42,417 I'm boring myself just talking about it. I'm boring myself just talking about it.
268 00:12:42,500 00:12:44,875 -Hey, Mrs. Murphy. -Hey, kids. -Hey, Mrs. Murphy. -Hey, kids.
269 00:12:45,458 00:12:48,792 Milo's upstairs. Thanks for bringing his homework by. Milo's upstairs. Thanks for bringing his homework by.
270 00:12:48,875 00:12:49,834 So how bad is he? So how bad is he?
271 00:12:49,917 00:12:52,041 Oh, I think he'll be fine by tomorrow. Oh, I think he'll be fine by tomorrow.
272 00:12:52,125 00:12:55,291 Usually, Murphy's Law tends to ebb a bit when Milo is sick. Usually, Murphy's Law tends to ebb a bit when Milo is sick.
273 00:12:55,375 00:12:57,500 So it's a good time for him to rest up. So it's a good time for him to rest up.
274 00:12:57,583 00:12:59,458 And the rest of us to get some work done. And the rest of us to get some work done.
275 00:12:59,542 00:13:04,458 I'm making a costume based on the Guark Captain from episode 264b of season 10... I'm making a costume based on the Guark Captain from episode 264b of season 10...
276 00:13:04,542 00:13:05,959 And that's our cue. And that's our cue.
277 00:13:07,250 00:13:08,250 [knocking at door] [knocking at door]
278 00:13:08,333 00:13:09,625 Come in. Come in.
279 00:13:11,625 00:13:12,709 How's it going, guys? How's it going, guys?
280 00:13:12,792 00:13:15,000 We're leaving. We just brought your homework. We're leaving. We just brought your homework.
281 00:13:15,583 00:13:17,000 Oh, goodie. Oh, goodie.
282 00:13:17,083 00:13:20,000 No! Don't come any closer. I mean don't get up. No! Don't come any closer. I mean don't get up.
283 00:13:25,792 00:13:28,875 Feel better, patient zero. Be strong. Feel better, patient zero. Be strong.
284 00:13:30,208 00:13:33,542 Feel better soon. It's boring out here without you. Feel better soon. It's boring out here without you.
285 00:13:38,417 00:13:40,083 -Nailed it. -Yeah, we did. -Nailed it. -Yeah, we did.
286 00:13:43,917 00:13:46,667 ♪ Agent P ♪ ♪ Agent P ♪
287 00:13:51,917 00:13:55,834 Ah, Perry the Platypus, how domestic of you to stop by. Ah, Perry the Platypus, how domestic of you to stop by.
288 00:13:55,917 00:13:57,500 What do you think of my new digs? What do you think of my new digs?
289 00:13:57,583 00:14:00,959 I know you've seen the place before, but look, I put up a new sign. I know you've seen the place before, but look, I put up a new sign.
290 00:14:01,250 00:14:04,041 Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated, see? Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated, see?
291 00:14:04,125 00:14:07,458 ♪ Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated ♪ ♪ Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated ♪
292 00:14:07,875 00:14:10,083 I have no idea where that comes from. I have no idea where that comes from.
293 00:14:10,417 00:14:12,417 Anyway I'm serious about this "good" thing. Anyway I'm serious about this "good" thing.
294 00:14:12,500 00:14:15,417 And I'm so glad you're here. I want your feedback on something. And I'm so glad you're here. I want your feedback on something.
295 00:14:16,125 00:14:20,417 I'm thinking of creating an alter ego like "Do-gooder Doof." I'm thinking of creating an alter ego like "Do-gooder Doof."
296 00:14:20,500 00:14:22,208 Like a superhero kind of thing. Like a superhero kind of thing.
297 00:14:22,625 00:14:25,333 I have to admit. I did go buy a costume, I have to admit. I did go buy a costume,
298 00:14:25,750 00:14:28,583 and there it is right over by the shed. and there it is right over by the shed.
299 00:14:28,667 00:14:31,291 And I may have tried it on just to see if it fits. And I may have tried it on just to see if it fits.
300 00:14:31,375 00:14:33,709 And I did take Diogee for a walk with it on, And I did take Diogee for a walk with it on,
301 00:14:33,792 00:14:35,208 but I must admit, all modesty aside, but I must admit, all modesty aside,
302 00:14:35,291 00:14:38,542 I cut quite a dashing figure in it. Right, Diogee? I cut quite a dashing figure in it. Right, Diogee?
303 00:14:38,625 00:14:42,291 Right? Right? Oh, what does he know, he's just a dog. Right? Right? Oh, what does he know, he's just a dog.
304 00:14:42,375 00:14:44,250 You know, I'm gonna put on the costume again. You know, I'm gonna put on the costume again.
305 00:14:44,542 00:14:46,625 You can be my sidekick. What do you say? You can be my sidekick. What do you say?
306 00:14:46,709 00:14:51,041 Do-gooder Doof, and his platypus partner in... Not... Not crime... Do-gooder Doof, and his platypus partner in... Not... Not crime...
307 00:14:51,125 00:14:52,792 In, in some other thing. In, in some other thing.
308 00:14:53,083 00:14:55,750 Some good thing. I'm sure there are plenty of good things Some good thing. I'm sure there are plenty of good things
309 00:14:55,834 00:14:58,875 you and I and my inators can do together. you and I and my inators can do together.
310 00:15:00,750 00:15:04,000 Do-gooder Doof. I'm gonna go put on the costume. Do-gooder Doof. I'm gonna go put on the costume.
311 00:15:04,083 00:15:07,000 I don't know why it's chicken-themed. That's all they had at the store. I don't know why it's chicken-themed. That's all they had at the store.
312 00:15:12,667 00:15:16,667 Thank you once again, Agent P, for keeping an eye on Doofenshmirtz. Thank you once again, Agent P, for keeping an eye on Doofenshmirtz.
313 00:15:16,917 00:15:20,208 Even doing good, he's dangerous, so I know you have your work cut out for you. Even doing good, he's dangerous, so I know you have your work cut out for you.
314 00:15:20,291 00:15:22,375 In the meantime, Carl wanted me to give you these. In the meantime, Carl wanted me to give you these.
315 00:15:22,625 00:15:24,875 They taste better than they look. They taste better than they look.
316 00:15:25,625 00:15:26,834 That's not saying much. That's not saying much.
317 00:15:32,375 00:15:35,166 The quicker we get to the second level where the Milo designate is, The quicker we get to the second level where the Milo designate is,
318 00:15:35,250 00:15:36,875 the faster we can... the faster we can...
319 00:15:40,417 00:15:43,041 Okay, who put the sundial in the living room? Okay, who put the sundial in the living room?
320 00:15:44,041 00:15:46,792 And for that matter, when did we get a sundial? And for that matter, when did we get a sundial?
321 00:15:53,041 00:15:54,583 I'm running out of impressions. I'm running out of impressions.
322 00:15:54,667 00:15:56,458 Dude, I'm running out of breath. Dude, I'm running out of breath.
323 00:15:56,542 00:15:57,542 [both gasp] [both gasp]
324 00:15:58,375 00:16:00,375 [sniffing] [sniffing]
325 00:16:02,333 00:16:03,291 Copycat. Copycat.
326 00:16:03,375 00:16:04,375 What? I panicked. What? I panicked.
327 00:16:07,208 00:16:08,917 Hey, Diogee. Are you hungry? Hey, Diogee. Are you hungry?
328 00:16:28,000 00:16:30,333 ♪ Ah yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Ah yeah, yeah ♪
329 00:16:30,417 00:16:34,500 ♪ He's got noble intentions But his recent inventions ♪ ♪ He's got noble intentions But his recent inventions ♪
330 00:16:34,583 00:16:38,041 ♪ Just highlight his Messed up planning skills ♪ ♪ Just highlight his Messed up planning skills ♪
331 00:16:38,125 00:16:41,667 ♪ He's just trying to do good And do the things that he should ♪ ♪ He's just trying to do good And do the things that he should ♪
332 00:16:41,750 00:16:45,542 ♪ But if you see him coming You might wanna head for the hills ♪ ♪ But if you see him coming You might wanna head for the hills ♪
333 00:16:45,625 00:16:49,166 ♪ Don't wanna start a fight, He's trying to do what's right ♪ ♪ Don't wanna start a fight, He's trying to do what's right ♪
334 00:16:49,250 00:16:52,625 ♪ So we oughta wish him success ♪ ♪ So we oughta wish him success ♪
335 00:16:52,709 00:16:56,750 ♪ I know his feeling's right, Don't wanna seem myopic ♪ ♪ I know his feeling's right, Don't wanna seem myopic ♪
336 00:16:56,834 00:17:02,041 ♪ But he's really making Such a spill ♪ ♪ But he's really making Such a spill ♪
337 00:17:02,333 00:17:05,792 ♪ He's a Do-gooder Doof, He's trying to help you out ♪ ♪ He's a Do-gooder Doof, He's trying to help you out ♪
338 00:17:05,875 00:17:09,709 ♪ But it's not the kind of Help that you need or want ♪ ♪ But it's not the kind of Help that you need or want ♪
339 00:17:09,792 00:17:13,208 ♪ No, he's not the kind of Hero that you dreamed about ♪ ♪ No, he's not the kind of Hero that you dreamed about ♪
340 00:17:13,291 00:17:18,166 ♪ He's like an idiot savant But without the savant ♪ ♪ He's like an idiot savant But without the savant ♪
341 00:17:18,250 00:17:20,208 ♪ He's a Do-gooder Doof ♪ ♪ He's a Do-gooder Doof ♪
342 00:17:20,291 00:17:21,542 ♪ Yes, he is ♪ ♪ Yes, he is ♪
343 00:17:21,625 00:17:23,583 ♪ He's a Do-gooder Doof ♪ ♪ He's a Do-gooder Doof ♪
344 00:17:24,291 00:17:26,083 ♪ Oh yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Oh yeah, yeah ♪
345 00:17:26,166 00:17:29,083 ♪ He's a Do-gooder Doof He's a Do-gooder Doof ♪ ♪ He's a Do-gooder Doof He's a Do-gooder Doof ♪
346 00:17:29,166 00:17:30,709 ♪ He's a Do-gooder Doof ♪ ♪ He's a Do-gooder Doof ♪
347 00:17:30,792 00:17:32,375 ♪ Oh, no, no ♪ ♪ Oh, no, no ♪
348 00:17:36,875 00:17:38,375 [both] Blecch! [both] Blecch!
349 00:17:39,125 00:17:41,166 It ate food out of my mouth. It ate food out of my mouth.
350 00:17:41,250 00:17:44,333 I think it licked my tongue. Does that mean we're married now? I think it licked my tongue. Does that mean we're married now?
351 00:17:44,583 00:17:46,125 [snarling] [snarling]
352 00:17:46,834 00:17:48,166 What is it, boy? What is it, boy?
353 00:17:48,375 00:17:50,542 [Diogee barking] [Diogee barking]
354 00:17:50,625 00:17:52,500 I'm just taking a soup to Milo. I'm just taking a soup to Milo.
355 00:18:01,750 00:18:02,917 [snarling] [snarling]
356 00:18:05,375 00:18:07,500 Come on, buddy. Let's let him sleep, okay? Come on, buddy. Let's let him sleep, okay?
357 00:18:08,542 00:18:10,458 [whimpering] [whimpering]
358 00:18:14,667 00:18:16,041 Ahh! Ahh!
359 00:18:17,333 00:18:18,792 This is terrible! This is terrible!
360 00:18:18,875 00:18:20,000 This house is a deathtrap! This house is a deathtrap!
361 00:18:20,500 00:18:23,792 All right, all right. Just keep it down, okay? All right, all right. Just keep it down, okay?
362 00:18:23,875 00:18:25,458 World's bossiest dog. World's bossiest dog.
363 00:18:25,542 00:18:27,792 [Diogee barking] [Diogee barking]
364 00:18:31,208 00:18:32,709 No! Stay away from my mouth! No! Stay away from my mouth!
365 00:18:33,375 00:18:34,583 [Milo muttering] [Milo muttering]
366 00:18:34,667 00:18:36,125 [barking] [barking]
367 00:18:38,917 00:18:40,542 The window! Let's get outta here! The window! Let's get outta here!
368 00:18:46,208 00:18:47,709 It's worse than it looks! It's worse than it looks!
369 00:18:51,000 00:18:52,458 Abort the mission! Abort the mission!
370 00:18:52,709 00:18:56,041 No, silly, that's not what they smell like. No, silly, that's not what they smell like.
371 00:18:57,458 00:18:59,917 -Moo! -We're a cow, moo, see? -Moo! -We're a cow, moo, see?
372 00:19:01,083 00:19:02,709 Throw me outta here! Throw me outta here!
373 00:19:09,792 00:19:10,917 [barking] [barking]
374 00:19:17,166 00:19:18,625 Amateurs! Amateurs!
375 00:19:18,709 00:19:21,208 I'll get the tissue sample myself. I'll get the tissue sample myself.
376 00:19:21,917 00:19:23,917 At least we're her favorite amateurs. At least we're her favorite amateurs.
377 00:19:28,625 00:19:31,375 I think this Doof gooder thing is working out. I think this Doof gooder thing is working out.
378 00:19:31,792 00:19:34,959 Thank you, Agent P. From the entire tri-state area. Thank you, Agent P. From the entire tri-state area.
379 00:19:35,041 00:19:38,500 We did do a good job, didn't we... Hey, what are you doing here, Francis? We did do a good job, didn't we... Hey, what are you doing here, Francis?
380 00:19:38,583 00:19:40,625 Oh! Bad timing. Must be getting rusty. Oh! Bad timing. Must be getting rusty.
381 00:19:40,875 00:19:44,250 Wait a minute, Perry the Platypus. Are you working right now? Wait a minute, Perry the Platypus. Are you working right now?
382 00:19:45,583 00:19:48,500 But we were saving the city together, one good deed at a time. But we were saving the city together, one good deed at a time.
383 00:19:48,583 00:19:51,458 We were pals. We were... [sighs] We were pals. We were... [sighs]
384 00:19:51,792 00:19:53,750 Sorry, Doof, regardless of your good intentions, Sorry, Doof, regardless of your good intentions,
385 00:19:54,000 00:19:55,750 your inators are doing what they always do. your inators are doing what they always do.
386 00:19:55,834 00:19:57,542 Causing trouble and wreaking havoc. Causing trouble and wreaking havoc.
387 00:19:57,625 00:20:00,250 The only reason it's not worse is because Agent P has been there, The only reason it's not worse is because Agent P has been there,
388 00:20:00,333 00:20:02,792 every step of the way, cleaning up your messes. every step of the way, cleaning up your messes.
389 00:20:03,333 00:20:06,083 [stammers] Is, is that true, Perry the Platypus? [stammers] Is, is that true, Perry the Platypus?
390 00:20:06,417 00:20:09,125 I'll, uh, I'll see myself out. I'll, uh, I'll see myself out.
391 00:20:10,458 00:20:14,542 I thought you were my friend, Perry the Platypus, but you're not. I thought you were my friend, Perry the Platypus, but you're not.
392 00:20:14,625 00:20:17,709 You're my babysitter. That's it, Perry the Platypus. We are through. You're my babysitter. That's it, Perry the Platypus. We are through.
393 00:20:18,125 00:20:21,875 I know we've had our rough patches before, everyone does, but this time I know we've had our rough patches before, everyone does, but this time
394 00:20:22,625 00:20:25,917 you hurt me, Perry the Platypus! you hurt me, Perry the Platypus!
395 00:20:26,000 00:20:28,125 You hurt me! You hurt me!
396 00:20:29,000 00:20:32,291 ♪ Agent P ♪ ♪ Agent P ♪
397 00:20:32,375 00:20:33,917 Did he like my cookies? Did he like my cookies?
398 00:20:34,000 00:20:35,750 Nobody likes your cookies, Carl. Nobody likes your cookies, Carl.
399 00:20:39,959 00:20:40,959 [takes deep breath] [takes deep breath]
400 00:20:50,834 00:20:52,166 [sniffing] [sniffing]
401 00:20:57,500 00:21:00,000 Ah, I love you too, Mom. Ah, I love you too, Mom.
402 00:21:04,875 00:21:06,250 [snarling] [snarling]
403 00:21:16,375 00:21:18,834 The negative probability ion's reading is off the chart. The negative probability ion's reading is off the chart.
404 00:21:18,917 00:21:22,291 We've never seen anything like it. He is the one, ma'am. We've never seen anything like it. He is the one, ma'am.
405 00:21:22,375 00:21:24,959 We're ready for phase two. We're ready for phase two.
406 00:21:25,041 00:21:28,166 The abduction of Milo Murphy. The abduction of Milo Murphy.
407 00:21:28,500 00:21:29,875 [sneezes] [sneezes]
408 00:21:29,959 00:21:32,166 ♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪ ♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪
409 00:21:32,834 00:21:35,291 ♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪ ♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪
410 00:21:35,375 00:21:37,750 ♪ Oh, thanks, everybody That is so motivational ♪ ♪ Oh, thanks, everybody That is so motivational ♪
411 00:21:37,834 00:21:40,291 ♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪ ♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪
412 00:21:42,792 00:21:45,667 ♪ Whoa ♪ ♪ Whoa ♪
413 00:21:45,750 00:21:49,083 ♪ I'm not sitting here Watching the world turn ♪ ♪ I'm not sitting here Watching the world turn ♪
414 00:21:49,166 00:21:50,583 ♪ You know I'd rather spin it ♪ ♪ You know I'd rather spin it ♪
415 00:21:50,667 00:21:52,792 ♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪ ♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪
416 00:21:52,875 00:21:55,125 ♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪ ♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪