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1 00:00:16,200 00:00:21,200 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull M_I_SForEver Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull M_I_SForEver
2 00:01:10,212 00:01:11,246 Thank you. Thank you.
3 00:01:11,279 00:01:11,914 Hello? Hello?
4 00:01:12,815 00:01:13,850 Hey, Miriam. Hey, Miriam.
5 00:01:14,884 00:01:16,919 10:30, is he not home yet? 10:30, is he not home yet?
6 00:01:19,589 00:01:21,490 Yeah, he's supposed to come straight home. Yeah, he's supposed to come straight home.
7 00:01:21,523 00:01:24,961 Okay, let me call Lindsay and see if he's at Ryan's house. Okay, let me call Lindsay and see if he's at Ryan's house.
8 00:01:24,994 00:01:26,729 Okay, I'll call you right back. Okay, I'll call you right back.
9 00:01:27,797 00:01:28,631 Dammit, Gregory. Dammit, Gregory.
10 00:01:44,714 00:01:46,849 Hi Lindsay, it's Beth. Hi Lindsay, it's Beth.
11 00:01:46,883 00:01:48,584 I'm just wondering if the boys are at your place I'm just wondering if the boys are at your place
12 00:01:48,618 00:01:50,218 because Gregory's not at home and he was supposed because Gregory's not at home and he was supposed
13 00:01:50,252 00:01:51,754 to be home about an hour ago. to be home about an hour ago.
14 00:01:51,788 00:01:54,389 So just call me back on my cell when you can, bye. So just call me back on my cell when you can, bye.
15 00:02:26,589 00:02:28,356 Want more? Want more?
16 00:02:28,390 00:02:29,257 I'm good. I'm good.
17 00:02:29,291 00:02:29,892 Sure? Sure?
18 00:02:29,926 00:02:30,893 Mhmm. Mhmm.
19 00:02:30,927 00:02:31,961 Check? Check?
20 00:02:33,361 00:02:33,963 Yeah. Yeah.
21 00:02:36,799 00:02:37,633 Actually, Actually,
22 00:02:40,368 00:02:42,571 could you sell me a bottle? could you sell me a bottle?
23 00:02:42,605 00:02:43,873 Hello? Hello?
24 00:02:44,974 00:02:46,008 Shit. Shit.
25 00:02:49,746 00:02:51,948 Can you give me those? Can you give me those?
26 00:02:56,919 00:02:59,421 Yeah, all right. All right. Yeah, all right. All right.
27 00:02:59,454 00:03:00,923 I got something down here. I got something down here.
28 00:03:03,960 00:03:04,894 How's that? How's that?
29 00:03:05,962 00:03:07,063 - Work? - Yeah. - Work? - Yeah.
30 00:03:07,096 00:03:08,563 I'll get you a bag. I'll get you a bag.
31 00:03:08,598 00:03:10,032 Thanks. Thanks.
32 00:03:23,846 00:03:24,981 There you go. There you go.
33 00:03:25,014 00:03:26,015 Get some change. Get some change.
34 00:03:26,048 00:03:27,049 No, that's all yours. No, that's all yours.
35 00:03:27,083 00:03:27,984 No, come on. No, come on.
36 00:03:28,017 00:03:29,585 No, the tip's on you man. No, the tip's on you man.
37 00:03:29,619 00:03:30,418 You sure? You sure?
38 00:03:30,452 00:03:31,821 Yeah, thanks. Yeah, thanks.
39 00:03:31,854 00:03:32,955 Thanks, bro. Thanks, bro.
40 00:03:34,489 00:03:36,324 Have a good night. Have a good night.
41 00:03:36,358 00:03:36,993 You too. You too.
42 00:03:38,060 00:03:39,528 Hi Miriam, sorry, Hi Miriam, sorry,
43 00:03:39,561 00:03:41,097 my phone died. my phone died.
44 00:03:41,130 00:03:44,700 Okay, I just walked into work, any news? Okay, I just walked into work, any news?
45 00:03:46,434 00:03:47,369 Okay, well. Okay, well.
46 00:03:48,604 00:03:49,605 Oh shit, can you hold on one second? Oh shit, can you hold on one second?
47 00:04:15,998 00:04:17,033 Okay. Okay.
48 00:04:36,052 00:04:37,419 Hello? Hello?
49 00:04:37,452 00:04:38,855 Hi, I'm so, Hi, I'm so,
50 00:04:38,888 00:04:40,857 so sorry, I forgot to disarm the security system. so sorry, I forgot to disarm the security system.
51 00:04:41,924 00:04:42,992 Okay, I'm here. Okay, I'm here.
52 00:04:43,025 00:04:44,894 I'm gonna find a charger, I'm gonna find a charger,
53 00:04:44,927 00:04:45,761 plug in my phone, plug in my phone,
54 00:04:45,795 00:04:46,929 call Ryan's mom back, call Ryan's mom back,
55 00:04:46,963 00:04:48,598 see if he's there. see if he's there.
56 00:04:48,631 00:04:51,167 And actually, in the meantime can you call me back And actually, in the meantime can you call me back
57 00:04:51,200 00:04:55,370 at 866-555-8221? at 866-555-8221?
58 00:04:57,139 00:05:01,043 Yeah, it's 555-8221. Yeah, it's 555-8221.
59 00:05:02,011 00:05:05,447 Okay and I know I'm a broken record at this point, Okay and I know I'm a broken record at this point,
60 00:05:05,480 00:05:08,050 Miriam, but I don't know why he didn't come home. Miriam, but I don't know why he didn't come home.
61 00:05:09,151 00:05:10,686 He was supposed to be there so. He was supposed to be there so.
62 00:05:13,856 00:05:15,423 You are a godsend. You are a godsend.
63 00:05:16,225 00:05:19,161 Okay, I'll call you the second I hear anything. Okay, I'll call you the second I hear anything.
64 00:05:19,195 00:05:20,663 Okay, bye-bye. Okay, bye-bye.
65 00:09:13,929 00:09:15,731 Hi Jeff, it's Beth. Hi Jeff, it's Beth.
66 00:09:15,764 00:09:20,302 Look, I have a thing that might not be a thing Look, I have a thing that might not be a thing
67 00:09:20,336 00:09:23,038 but I was just wondering if there was anyone else available but I was just wondering if there was anyone else available
68 00:09:23,072 00:09:24,406 to come in tonight to cover me? to come in tonight to cover me?
69 00:09:26,442 00:09:27,776 Yeah, just call me back at work, Yeah, just call me back at work,
70 00:09:27,810 00:09:29,211 I'm here, bye. I'm here, bye.
71 00:10:32,174 00:10:33,108 Hey, it's Emily. Hey, it's Emily.
72 00:10:33,142 00:10:34,343 Leave a message after the beep. Leave a message after the beep.
73 00:10:34,376 00:10:35,744 You know what to do. You know what to do.
74 00:12:29,425 00:12:31,160 Fucking kidding me. Fucking kidding me.
75 00:12:45,974 00:12:47,176 Hey Miriam, is he home? Hey Miriam, is he home?
76 00:12:49,579 00:12:50,580 Miriam? Miriam?
77 00:12:52,314 00:12:53,115 Hello? Hello?
78 00:13:10,633 00:13:12,234 Hi Miriam, did you just call? Hi Miriam, did you just call?
79 00:13:13,135 00:13:14,671 Oh. Oh.
80 00:13:14,704 00:13:16,538 Okay, is he home? Okay, is he home?
81 00:13:18,608 00:13:19,441 Okay. Okay.
82 00:13:20,376 00:13:22,645 I'll talk to you soon, I guess. I'll talk to you soon, I guess.
83 00:13:22,679 00:13:24,681 Okay thanks, yeah, bye. Okay thanks, yeah, bye.
84 00:13:57,146 00:13:57,946 Hi, you've reached Hi, you've reached
85 00:13:59,214 00:14:01,016 Our business hours are Monday to Friday, Our business hours are Monday to Friday,
86 00:14:01,049 00:14:02,217 08:00 a.m. to 05:00 p.m.. 08:00 a.m. to 05:00 p.m..
87 00:14:50,767 00:14:51,567 Hello? Hello?
88 00:14:52,702 00:14:53,703 Miriam? Miriam?
89 00:14:53,736 00:14:55,070 Hello. Hello.
90 00:14:55,103 00:14:56,405 Hello. Hello.
91 00:14:56,438 00:14:58,407 Sorry sir, we're closed. Sorry sir, we're closed.
92 00:15:00,442 00:15:01,711 You're closed? You're closed?
93 00:15:03,580 00:15:07,015 Yeah, the night programs don't even go this late Yeah, the night programs don't even go this late
94 00:15:07,049 00:15:09,451 and I'm only here a few nights a week. and I'm only here a few nights a week.
95 00:15:11,754 00:15:13,623 You're a volunteer? You're a volunteer?
96 00:15:14,556 00:15:15,692 Well, with what they pay me it kind Well, with what they pay me it kind
97 00:15:15,725 00:15:17,326 of feels like it, yes. of feels like it, yes.
98 00:15:19,829 00:15:24,066 Okay, but are you working tonight? Okay, but are you working tonight?
99 00:15:24,099 00:15:28,303 Yeah, but I actually don't usually answer the phones. Yeah, but I actually don't usually answer the phones.
100 00:15:30,740 00:15:31,774 Okay. Okay.
101 00:15:33,141 00:15:33,743 Sir? Sir?
102 00:15:35,143 00:15:37,179 Who's answering the phones? Who's answering the phones?
103 00:15:37,212 00:15:38,681 No one, no one tonight. No one, no one tonight.
104 00:15:42,752 00:15:43,753 Sir, Sir,
105 00:15:44,621 00:15:47,122 can I take a message for you or something? can I take a message for you or something?
106 00:15:48,357 00:15:49,558 A message? A message?
107 00:15:49,592 00:15:51,126 Yeah, they'll call you back tomorrow Yeah, they'll call you back tomorrow
108 00:15:51,159 00:15:53,596 or I guess when they're in next. or I guess when they're in next.
109 00:15:54,697 00:15:56,799 People leave messages? People leave messages?
110 00:15:56,833 00:15:58,066 Yeah. Yeah.
111 00:15:59,669 00:16:01,370 What do they say, What do they say,
112 00:16:01,403 00:16:02,639 I need help? I need help?
113 00:16:03,706 00:16:04,540 Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure.
114 00:16:06,275 00:16:08,210 And then you call people back? And then you call people back?
115 00:16:08,243 00:16:08,845 Well, I don't. Well, I don't.
116 00:16:08,878 00:16:09,712 I'm just a student. I'm just a student.
117 00:16:12,882 00:16:14,449 Like you're in training? Like you're in training?
118 00:16:14,483 00:16:15,350 Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.
119 00:16:15,384 00:16:17,052 I'm in a program here. I'm in a program here.
120 00:16:18,855 00:16:20,088 Sir? Sir?
121 00:16:21,791 00:16:23,225 I'm sorry. I'm confused. I'm sorry. I'm confused.
122 00:16:24,594 00:16:27,496 You're in training but you're by yourself You're in training but you're by yourself
123 00:16:28,598 00:16:30,198 and you don't answer the phone so and you don't answer the phone so
124 00:16:34,303 00:16:35,772 what if people call? what if people call?
125 00:16:36,839 00:16:38,173 It's not my problem. It's not my problem.
126 00:16:38,206 00:16:39,308 They'll leave a message. They'll leave a message.
127 00:16:39,341 00:16:40,777 Look, listen sir, Look, listen sir,
128 00:16:40,810 00:16:41,711 I need to leave this line open in case someone calls me I need to leave this line open in case someone calls me
129 00:16:41,744 00:16:43,580 about my son. about my son.
130 00:16:43,613 00:16:45,247 Is your son okay? Is your son okay?
131 00:16:45,280 00:16:47,316 He won't be if he doesn't get his ass home. He won't be if he doesn't get his ass home.
132 00:16:49,686 00:16:50,820 And how old is he? And how old is he?
133 00:16:52,855 00:16:54,156 He is 12 He is 12
134 00:16:55,658 00:16:56,893 going on 20. going on 20.
135 00:17:00,495 00:17:01,396 Troublemaker? Troublemaker?
136 00:17:01,430 00:17:02,765 No, not exactly. No, not exactly.
137 00:17:05,167 00:17:08,136 He when to go see a movie with his friend He when to go see a movie with his friend
138 00:17:08,170 00:17:10,840 and now he's not home to watch his little brother and now he's not home to watch his little brother
139 00:17:10,873 00:17:14,476 and my sitter has to stay late and I don't even pay her, and my sitter has to stay late and I don't even pay her,
140 00:17:14,509 00:17:16,579 so that makes me feel terrible. so that makes me feel terrible.
141 00:17:20,817 00:17:21,618 Hello? Hello?
142 00:17:21,651 00:17:22,551 It sounds like... It sounds like...
143 00:17:23,586 00:17:24,587 Well, you know what, Well, you know what,
144 00:17:24,621 00:17:26,388 spaghetti nights are supposed to be so simple. spaghetti nights are supposed to be so simple.
145 00:17:27,356 00:17:28,791 What is spaghetti night? What is spaghetti night?
146 00:17:28,825 00:17:30,258 Oh, it's something that me Oh, it's something that me
147 00:17:30,292 00:17:31,694 and my parents do every Thursday but and my parents do every Thursday but
148 00:17:32,929 00:17:35,865 being a single mom with two jobs and school, being a single mom with two jobs and school,
149 00:17:35,898 00:17:37,532 it doesn't always pan out. it doesn't always pan out.
150 00:17:39,201 00:17:40,770 Well, I mean, Well, I mean,
151 00:17:40,803 00:17:42,605 it's just spaghetti. it's just spaghetti.
152 00:17:42,639 00:17:43,606 I'm sure they'll get over it. I'm sure they'll get over it.
153 00:17:43,640 00:17:45,273 No, that's not the thing. No, that's not the thing.
154 00:17:45,307 00:17:47,577 They rotate picking activities every week They rotate picking activities every week
155 00:17:47,610 00:17:49,946 and Gregory really wanted to go see the ballgame and Gregory really wanted to go see the ballgame
156 00:17:49,979 00:17:53,215 and my friend got us tickets I could never afford and my friend got us tickets I could never afford
157 00:17:53,248 00:17:55,417 and of course someone called me in to come to work and of course someone called me in to come to work
158 00:17:55,450 00:17:56,886 and I really need the cash. and I really need the cash.
159 00:17:59,722 00:18:01,289 But he got to see a movie? But he got to see a movie?
160 00:18:01,323 00:18:03,660 Yeah, that I had to pay for, Yeah, that I had to pay for,
161 00:18:03,693 00:18:05,928 and his friend out of guilt. and his friend out of guilt.
162 00:18:05,962 00:18:07,730 Plus popcorn, you know. Plus popcorn, you know.
163 00:18:07,764 00:18:08,965 Come to think of it, Come to think of it,
164 00:18:08,998 00:18:10,767 I'm not even making that much extra money I'm not even making that much extra money
165 00:18:10,800 00:18:12,902 on this shift so I should've just said no. on this shift so I should've just said no.
166 00:18:15,537 00:18:17,305 I'm so sorry, sir. I'm so sorry, sir.
167 00:18:18,941 00:18:21,611 I completely just unloaded on you there. I completely just unloaded on you there.
168 00:18:21,644 00:18:22,879 That's okay, That's okay,
169 00:18:24,312 00:18:25,882 kids have that effect. kids have that effect.
170 00:18:25,915 00:18:27,249 Yeah, you have kids? Yeah, you have kids?
171 00:18:28,283 00:18:28,918 I used to. I used to.
172 00:18:29,852 00:18:30,887 Used to? Used to?
173 00:18:30,920 00:18:32,889 How old is your other boy? How old is your other boy?
174 00:18:32,922 00:18:33,990 He's seven. He's seven.
175 00:18:34,023 00:18:37,794 Look sir, can I take a message for you or something? Look sir, can I take a message for you or something?
176 00:18:43,398 00:18:48,004 I was just calling the number to talk to someone. I was just calling the number to talk to someone.
177 00:18:48,037 00:18:50,439 Can you hold on one second? Can you hold on one second?
178 00:18:56,012 00:18:56,846 Hello? Hello?
179 00:18:58,480 00:19:00,950 Hi Jeff, yes, it's Beth. Hi Jeff, yes, it's Beth.
180 00:19:00,983 00:19:04,519 Look, I have a thing with my son. Look, I have a thing with my son.
181 00:19:04,553 00:19:08,991 He's not home and I was just wondering if there was anybody He's not home and I was just wondering if there was anybody
182 00:19:09,025 00:19:10,960 that could come in and cover my shift tonight that could come in and cover my shift tonight
183 00:19:10,993 00:19:12,695 in case I have to go find him? in case I have to go find him?
184 00:19:16,999 00:19:18,567 Yeah, just hold on one second. Yeah, just hold on one second.
185 00:19:34,416 00:19:37,820 Miriam, just checking is he home? Miriam, just checking is he home?
186 00:19:38,921 00:19:40,923 Okay, I'll call you back later. Okay, I'll call you back later.
187 00:19:41,924 00:19:42,959 Yeah. Yeah.
188 00:19:45,393 00:19:46,796 Jeff, he is not home. Jeff, he is not home.
189 00:19:48,865 00:19:49,699 I know. I know.
190 00:19:52,835 00:19:54,402 Yeah. Yeah.
191 00:19:54,436 00:19:55,270 Okay. Okay.
192 00:19:57,106 00:19:59,307 I'll talk to you soon, bye. I'll talk to you soon, bye.
193 00:21:01,137 00:21:02,038 Oh fuck, shit. Oh fuck, shit.
194 00:21:15,685 00:21:16,518 Hello? Hello?
195 00:21:20,590 00:21:21,423 Hello? Hello?
196 00:21:22,792 00:21:23,626 Hello? Hello?
197 00:21:25,094 00:21:26,329 Sir, I'm sorry. Sir, I'm sorry.
198 00:21:29,031 00:21:30,032 Hello? Hello?
199 00:21:30,066 00:21:30,900 Hello. Hello.
200 00:21:31,801 00:21:33,401 Yes, I'm sorry. Yes, I'm sorry.
201 00:21:35,570 00:21:37,439 What is this? What is this?
202 00:21:37,472 00:21:38,074 Excuse me? Excuse me?
203 00:21:46,949 00:21:51,386 Is this 1866-555-8221? Is this 1866-555-8221?
204 00:21:52,188 00:21:53,388 Yeah. Yeah.
205 00:21:56,659 00:21:57,727 Where did I call? Where did I call?
206 00:21:57,760 00:21:58,560 Gateway. Gateway.
207 00:21:59,662 00:22:00,462 What's that? What's that?
208 00:22:00,495 00:22:01,597 Gateway Career Center. Gateway Career Center.
209 00:22:07,837 00:22:08,671 What's so funny? What's so funny?
210 00:22:11,140 00:22:14,010 I've been staring at that number for a long time. I've been staring at that number for a long time.
211 00:22:14,043 00:22:14,877 Okay. Okay.
212 00:22:17,545 00:22:19,148 They got up one of those posters? They got up one of those posters?
213 00:22:19,181 00:22:20,548 Oh yeah, the bus ads. Oh yeah, the bus ads.
214 00:22:22,484 00:22:23,119 No, No,
215 00:22:26,155 00:22:26,956 one of those, one of those,
216 00:22:28,824 00:22:29,692 you're not alone, you're not alone,
217 00:22:31,060 00:22:31,894 if you need help if you need help
218 00:22:33,963 00:22:34,964 call this number? call this number?
219 00:22:37,667 00:22:38,566 I'm sorry, sir, I'm sorry, sir,
220 00:22:38,601 00:22:39,635 what do you need help with? what do you need help with?
221 00:22:43,139 00:22:44,506 Today's a bad day. Today's a bad day.
222 00:22:47,143 00:22:48,844 It's been a pretty shitty year and It's been a pretty shitty year and
223 00:22:52,782 00:22:54,684 I just didn't wanna feel alone. I just didn't wanna feel alone.
224 00:22:59,121 00:23:00,790 You were calling a helpline? You were calling a helpline?
225 00:23:01,958 00:23:02,792 Yeah. Yeah.
226 00:23:03,960 00:23:04,794 I thought so. I thought so.
227 00:23:06,195 00:23:07,029 Just Just
228 00:23:09,531 00:23:11,033 wanna be talking with someone. wanna be talking with someone.
229 00:23:20,776 00:23:21,577 Hello? Hello?
230 00:23:21,610 00:23:22,244 Yes. Yes.
231 00:23:24,013 00:23:25,214 I thought maybe you hung up on me. I thought maybe you hung up on me.
232 00:23:25,247 00:23:26,115 No. No. No. No.
233 00:23:29,652 00:23:31,854 I just, I didn't know what to say. I just, I didn't know what to say.
234 00:23:33,956 00:23:34,924 Is your son okay? Is your son okay?
235 00:23:36,225 00:23:37,059 What? What?
236 00:23:38,060 00:23:42,231 Your son, you said you were waiting for someone Your son, you said you were waiting for someone
237 00:23:42,264 00:23:44,266 to call about him and then you put me on hold. to call about him and then you put me on hold.
238 00:23:44,300 00:23:46,602 I know, I was just calling someone I know, I was just calling someone
239 00:23:46,635 00:23:48,104 to cover my shift tonight. to cover my shift tonight.
240 00:23:49,872 00:23:54,744 Well, I sincerely hope that everything's okay Well, I sincerely hope that everything's okay
241 00:23:54,777 00:23:55,644 with your son. with your son.
242 00:23:55,678 00:23:57,246 Sir, are you okay? Sir, are you okay?
243 00:23:57,279 00:23:58,814 You're slurring your words. You're slurring your words.
244 00:24:00,783 00:24:02,184 I was at the bar earlier. I was at the bar earlier.
245 00:24:04,120 00:24:05,553 Okay, so your drunk? Okay, so your drunk?
246 00:24:06,722 00:24:08,224 I can't even tell anymore. I can't even tell anymore.
247 00:24:09,025 00:24:11,127 Are you sure that's a good idea? Are you sure that's a good idea?
248 00:24:14,730 00:24:15,563 Yeah. Yeah.
249 00:24:17,833 00:24:18,634 Okay. Okay.
250 00:24:18,667 00:24:20,302 You go out much? You go out much?
251 00:24:20,336 00:24:21,170 No. No.
252 00:24:22,671 00:24:25,941 No, I don't have the time or the money. No, I don't have the time or the money.
253 00:24:27,343 00:24:30,212 The money part I get but don't anyone tell you The money part I get but don't anyone tell you
254 00:24:30,246 00:24:33,015 that you don't have time to drink. that you don't have time to drink.
255 00:24:34,183 00:24:35,351 I spend most of my time working I spend most of my time working
256 00:24:35,384 00:24:38,120 so I can make a better life for my boys who I never see. so I can make a better life for my boys who I never see.
257 00:24:38,154 00:24:40,122 So I hope they appreciate that one day. So I hope they appreciate that one day.
258 00:24:41,991 00:24:42,825 They will They will
259 00:24:44,860 00:24:45,895 and then they won't. and then they won't.
260 00:24:48,964 00:24:52,234 And after therapy they might again. And after therapy they might again.
261 00:24:52,268 00:24:53,669 Please don't say that. Please don't say that.
262 00:24:56,338 00:24:58,374 Therapy was the only hope I had for my daughter Therapy was the only hope I had for my daughter
263 00:24:58,407 00:24:59,574 to talk to me. to talk to me.
264 00:25:00,643 00:25:02,578 Your daughter doesn't talk to you? Your daughter doesn't talk to you?
265 00:25:03,679 00:25:05,581 Yeah, she lives in another city. Yeah, she lives in another city.
266 00:25:06,582 00:25:09,618 Oh, is that why you said you used to have kids? Oh, is that why you said you used to have kids?
267 00:25:12,955 00:25:13,789 Is it? Is it?
268 00:25:14,890 00:25:15,724 No. No.
269 00:25:17,193 00:25:18,327 I had a son. I had a son.
270 00:25:19,395 00:25:20,229 Okay. Okay.
271 00:25:23,299 00:25:24,133 He died. He died.
272 00:25:26,001 00:25:27,336 I'm so, so sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
273 00:25:27,369 00:25:31,407 No don't. No don't.
274 00:25:31,440 00:25:35,711 Some days it feels like it was a lifetime ago Some days it feels like it was a lifetime ago
275 00:25:38,280 00:25:39,315 today. today.
276 00:25:41,717 00:25:43,619 It was four years ago today. It was four years ago today.
277 00:25:48,023 00:25:48,858 I mean, I mean,
278 00:25:49,892 00:25:50,826 I can't imagine. I can't imagine.
279 00:25:52,761 00:25:54,330 If anything happened tot my boys... If anything happened tot my boys...
280 00:25:58,367 00:25:59,368 You'd drink a lot, You'd drink a lot,
281 00:25:59,401 00:26:00,236 call a helpline? call a helpline?
282 00:26:02,304 00:26:03,806 Yeah, I probably would. Yeah, I probably would.
283 00:26:06,709 00:26:08,144 So you're drinking right now? So you're drinking right now?
284 00:26:10,079 00:26:10,913 No. No.
285 00:26:12,281 00:26:13,115 Okay. Okay.
286 00:26:14,783 00:26:16,018 What's your name? What's your name?
287 00:26:17,820 00:26:18,687 Scott. Scott.
288 00:26:18,721 00:26:19,989 Scott, Scott,
289 00:26:20,022 00:26:20,856 hi Scott. hi Scott.
290 00:26:22,491 00:26:24,026 Wait, why do you need my name? Wait, why do you need my name?
291 00:26:24,059 00:26:26,128 I just wanna know who I'm talking to. I just wanna know who I'm talking to.
292 00:26:30,966 00:26:33,869 I'm sorry, you're working and I'm bothering you. I'm sorry, you're working and I'm bothering you.
293 00:26:33,903 00:26:35,404 No Scott, it's totally fine. No Scott, it's totally fine.
294 00:26:36,372 00:26:37,406 Scott, Scott,
295 00:26:43,846 00:26:45,848 do you have anyone else that you could talk do you have anyone else that you could talk
296 00:26:45,881 00:26:48,117 to like friends or family? to like friends or family?
297 00:26:48,150 00:26:51,320 No, my family doesn't want anything to do with me. No, my family doesn't want anything to do with me.
298 00:26:51,353 00:26:53,722 Co-workers or a girlfriend? Co-workers or a girlfriend?
299 00:26:55,424 00:26:57,726 You think someone calls a suicide hotline if You think someone calls a suicide hotline if
300 00:26:59,061 00:27:00,462 people care about them? people care about them?
301 00:27:03,999 00:27:05,467 Are you thinking about suicide? Are you thinking about suicide?
302 00:27:11,240 00:27:13,842 - I should let you go. - Scott, no. - I should let you go. - Scott, no.
303 00:27:13,876 00:27:15,444 It's absolutely fine. It's absolutely fine.
304 00:27:17,379 00:27:18,747 Do you think about that a lot? Do you think about that a lot?
305 00:27:18,781 00:27:19,915 Did you get your shift covered? Did you get your shift covered?
306 00:27:22,952 00:27:23,786 No. No.
307 00:27:26,422 00:27:28,257 I actually should keep cleaning. I actually should keep cleaning.
308 00:27:30,426 00:27:31,460 Cleaning? Cleaning?
309 00:27:35,030 00:27:36,498 I clean the college. I clean the college.
310 00:27:39,468 00:27:40,736 You're the janitor? You're the janitor?
311 00:27:42,171 00:27:44,873 Well, night custodian if you wanna get technical. Well, night custodian if you wanna get technical.
312 00:27:46,175 00:27:48,244 Okay, so talking to a student's perfectly fine Okay, so talking to a student's perfectly fine
313 00:27:48,277 00:27:50,913 but if she happens to moonlight scrubbing toilets, but if she happens to moonlight scrubbing toilets,
314 00:27:50,946 00:27:51,847 that's where you draw the line? that's where you draw the line?
315 00:27:51,880 00:27:54,516 No, I'm laughing at me. No, I'm laughing at me.
316 00:27:54,550 00:27:55,384 Why? Why?
317 00:27:57,019 00:27:58,187 Hang on a second. Hang on a second.
318 00:28:05,294 00:28:07,463 Believe me, I've been unemployed for years. Believe me, I've been unemployed for years.
319 00:28:08,598 00:28:10,466 I've got no room to judge. I've got no room to judge.
320 00:28:10,499 00:28:13,802 Okay, so you don't work? Okay, so you don't work?
321 00:28:13,836 00:28:14,970 No, not for a while. No, not for a while.
322 00:28:16,305 00:28:17,806 And what did you used to do? And what did you used to do?
323 00:28:18,474 00:28:20,476 I was a corporate asshole. I was a corporate asshole.
324 00:28:21,910 00:28:23,312 Okay. Okay.
325 00:28:23,345 00:28:25,014 If I tried to explain If I tried to explain
326 00:28:25,047 00:28:28,417 what my job was I'd put us both to sleep. what my job was I'd put us both to sleep.
327 00:28:30,986 00:28:33,889 Your boys, Your boys,
328 00:28:33,922 00:28:35,592 what does their dad do? what does their dad do?
329 00:28:35,625 00:28:37,326 Oh, I don't know. Oh, I don't know.
330 00:28:37,359 00:28:40,095 I mean, my wild guess would be absolutely nothing. I mean, my wild guess would be absolutely nothing.
331 00:28:41,563 00:28:43,565 He's not around? He's not around?
332 00:28:43,600 00:28:44,433 No. No.
333 00:28:46,435 00:28:47,503 He left about 30 seconds He left about 30 seconds
334 00:28:47,536 00:28:50,472 after I found out I was pregnant with my second boy. after I found out I was pregnant with my second boy.
335 00:28:51,974 00:28:53,208 If I could divorce him, If I could divorce him,
336 00:28:54,611 00:28:55,811 trust me, I would. trust me, I would.
337 00:28:57,279 00:28:58,414 I just have to find him. I just have to find him.
338 00:28:58,447 00:29:01,850 You can divorce him and you don't have to find him. You can divorce him and you don't have to find him.
339 00:29:02,551 00:29:04,153 How does that work? How does that work?
340 00:29:04,186 00:29:07,356 My wife divorced me without me sighing a damn thing. My wife divorced me without me sighing a damn thing.
341 00:29:07,389 00:29:08,223 Oh, Oh,
342 00:29:09,091 00:29:10,192 well that's good news. well that's good news.
343 00:29:11,594 00:29:15,097 Not about you getting divorced but you know what I mean. Not about you getting divorced but you know what I mean.
344 00:29:15,130 00:29:17,533 Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah, I know what you mean.
345 00:29:20,603 00:29:22,237 So So
346 00:29:22,271 00:29:23,839 you were married? you were married?
347 00:29:24,840 00:29:27,509 That's a very important step towards divorce. That's a very important step towards divorce.
348 00:29:28,544 00:29:29,378 Right, Right,
349 00:29:30,379 00:29:32,081 and what was she like, your ex? and what was she like, your ex?
350 00:29:34,183 00:29:36,352 Amanda? Amanda?
351 00:29:36,385 00:29:38,087 Yeah, Amanda. Yeah, Amanda.
352 00:29:38,120 00:29:39,254 She was She was
353 00:29:41,090 00:29:42,091 complicated. complicated.
354 00:29:44,560 00:29:47,029 Well, was she a good mom at least? Well, was she a good mom at least?
355 00:29:48,665 00:29:49,898 The best. The best.
356 00:29:51,200 00:29:52,167 And And
357 00:29:52,201 00:29:53,869 your daughter lives with her? your daughter lives with her?
358 00:29:57,573 00:29:58,907 I can't do this. I can't do this.
359 00:30:00,376 00:30:01,210 Scott? Scott?
360 00:30:03,112 00:30:03,946 Hello? Hello?
361 00:30:07,717 00:30:08,550 Scott? Scott?
362 00:30:12,221 00:30:14,056 Scott, I can hear you. Scott, I can hear you.
363 00:30:16,492 00:30:18,628 You know, I never really had a beat You know, I never really had a beat
364 00:30:18,661 00:30:20,663 on Amanda the whole time we were married. on Amanda the whole time we were married.
365 00:30:20,697 00:30:21,598 Look Scott... Look Scott...
366 00:30:22,965 00:30:24,601 Yeah. Yeah.
367 00:30:24,634 00:30:26,068 I really wanna talk to you I really wanna talk to you
368 00:30:26,101 00:30:29,037 but you can't just put the phone down like that, but you can't just put the phone down like that,
369 00:30:29,071 00:30:30,707 it kind of scares me. it kind of scares me.
370 00:30:30,740 00:30:32,508 You know what I mean? You know what I mean?
371 00:30:35,177 00:30:36,011 Sorry. Sorry.
372 00:30:38,046 00:30:38,648 Hello? Hello?
373 00:30:43,519 00:30:46,388 She was always one step ahead of me on everything. She was always one step ahead of me on everything.
374 00:30:48,625 00:30:50,058 It's like she knew stuff. It's like she knew stuff.
375 00:30:51,059 00:30:52,494 Like a psychic? Like a psychic?
376 00:30:53,429 00:30:54,463 Almost. Almost.
377 00:31:00,670 00:31:02,705 It was hard to describe. It was hard to describe.
378 00:31:02,739 00:31:04,273 I asked her about it once. I asked her about it once.
379 00:31:05,742 00:31:07,309 She told me I had no idea what I was talking about. She told me I had no idea what I was talking about.
380 00:31:07,342 00:31:10,212 But then she shot me this look that said, But then she shot me this look that said,
381 00:31:10,245 00:31:11,648 I know exactly what you're talking about. I know exactly what you're talking about.
382 00:31:11,681 00:31:13,348 You'll never figure me out. You'll never figure me out.
383 00:31:15,417 00:31:16,586 It's was kind of sexy. It's was kind of sexy.
384 00:31:18,153 00:31:19,622 You got something to chase after. You got something to chase after.
385 00:31:22,291 00:31:24,493 Then it started to feel more like a trap. Then it started to feel more like a trap.
386 00:31:26,261 00:31:28,197 She'd give me one of those knowing looks She'd give me one of those knowing looks
387 00:31:28,230 00:31:31,634 and I'd start wracking my brain trying to figure out and I'd start wracking my brain trying to figure out
388 00:31:31,668 00:31:32,702 what I'd done. what I'd done.
389 00:31:34,737 00:31:38,675 You know, like those shows where people confess You know, like those shows where people confess
390 00:31:38,708 00:31:40,610 to committing a crime they never committed to committing a crime they never committed
391 00:31:40,643 00:31:44,781 'cause the police have them so spun around, 'cause the police have them so spun around,
392 00:31:44,814 00:31:46,783 convinced of their own guilt that they go, convinced of their own guilt that they go,
393 00:31:46,816 00:31:49,017 oh shit, maybe I did do something. oh shit, maybe I did do something.
394 00:31:49,051 00:31:51,453 So did you do something? So did you do something?
395 00:31:56,225 00:31:57,025 No. No.
396 00:32:01,631 00:32:03,499 - What do you mean? - I'm sorry. - What do you mean? - I'm sorry.
397 00:32:03,532 00:32:05,602 Scott, do you have any hobbies? Scott, do you have any hobbies?
398 00:32:07,536 00:32:08,370 Hobbies? Hobbies?
399 00:32:09,505 00:32:11,573 Yeah, things that you like to do? Yeah, things that you like to do?
400 00:32:13,843 00:32:15,177 I like to make cocktails. I like to make cocktails.
401 00:32:15,845 00:32:16,679 Okay. Okay.
402 00:32:17,814 00:32:18,681 You like cocktails? You like cocktails?
403 00:32:19,749 00:32:21,283 Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Sure.
404 00:32:22,451 00:32:24,119 Ever had a Manhattan? Ever had a Manhattan?
405 00:32:24,152 00:32:25,320 No, I don't think so. No, I don't think so.
406 00:32:25,354 00:32:26,656 What's a Manhattan? What's a Manhattan?
407 00:32:26,689 00:32:30,425 A Manhattan in my opinion is the best drink A Manhattan in my opinion is the best drink
408 00:32:30,459 00:32:34,496 to order at a new bar or if you got a new bartender to order at a new bar or if you got a new bartender
409 00:32:35,698 00:32:38,333 'cause it's simple but it's easy to mess up. 'cause it's simple but it's easy to mess up.
410 00:32:39,602 00:32:40,803 If they make you a good Manhattan you If they make you a good Manhattan you
411 00:32:40,837 00:32:44,039 could pretty much trust them with any other drink they make. could pretty much trust them with any other drink they make.
412 00:32:44,707 00:32:45,642 There's only a few ingredients. There's only a few ingredients.
413 00:32:45,675 00:32:48,176 - You have one new message. - It's whiskey. - You have one new message. - It's whiskey.
414 00:32:48,210 00:32:49,545 Hi, it's Lindsay. Hi, it's Lindsay.
415 00:32:49,579 00:32:51,313 Sorry I missed you earlier. Sorry I missed you earlier.
416 00:32:51,346 00:32:52,514 The boys aren't here. The boys aren't here.
417 00:32:52,548 00:32:54,817 Let me know if they turn up there and I'll do the same. Let me know if they turn up there and I'll do the same.
418 00:32:54,851 00:32:56,051 Okay, bye. Okay, bye.
419 00:33:00,890 00:33:01,658 Why? Why?
420 00:33:02,625 00:33:04,694 'Cause you bruise the alcohol. 'Cause you bruise the alcohol.
421 00:33:04,727 00:33:06,295 That's a real thing? That's a real thing?
422 00:33:06,328 00:33:07,830 Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
423 00:33:07,864 00:33:09,799 How do you bruise the alcohol? How do you bruise the alcohol?
424 00:33:11,366 00:33:12,301 Well, I mean, Well, I mean,
425 00:33:13,235 00:33:14,436 it's just a term. it's just a term.
426 00:33:14,469 00:33:17,807 It means you cause the alcohol to oxidize. It means you cause the alcohol to oxidize.
427 00:33:18,808 00:33:22,411 Some people say it makes the drink taste sharper but Some people say it makes the drink taste sharper but
428 00:33:22,444 00:33:23,746 those people are idiots. those people are idiots.
429 00:33:25,347 00:33:27,750 Well, you'll have to make me one sometime. Well, you'll have to make me one sometime.
430 00:33:29,852 00:33:31,086 Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
431 00:33:32,889 00:33:35,123 Do you have any other hobbies? Do you have any other hobbies?
432 00:33:37,760 00:33:38,795 No, not really. No, not really.
433 00:33:39,929 00:33:40,863 What about things What about things
434 00:33:42,932 00:33:45,133 you and Amanda like to do, travel? you and Amanda like to do, travel?
435 00:33:45,802 00:33:47,102 Amanda, Amanda,
436 00:33:48,638 00:33:50,873 she was always smarter than me she was always smarter than me
437 00:33:53,810 00:33:55,778 and she knew it too. and she knew it too.
438 00:33:55,812 00:33:58,413 She would push all my buttons. She would push all my buttons.
439 00:34:01,249 00:34:04,119 It was like she knew things about me before even I did. It was like she knew things about me before even I did.
440 00:34:05,287 00:34:06,121 Like what? Like what?
441 00:34:08,625 00:34:10,359 Like Katie. Like Katie.
442 00:34:10,392 00:34:11,226 Who's Katie? Who's Katie?
443 00:34:12,194 00:34:15,430 This woman who started at my work. This woman who started at my work.
444 00:34:16,365 00:34:17,332 - Okay. - She was - Okay. - She was
445 00:34:18,333 00:34:19,368 young and young and
446 00:34:20,402 00:34:21,236 pretty pretty
447 00:34:22,805 00:34:24,439 and all the guys took notice. and all the guys took notice.
448 00:34:26,709 00:34:27,944 And thinking back, And thinking back,
449 00:34:27,977 00:34:28,945 I'm not really sure she was that pretty I'm not really sure she was that pretty
450 00:34:28,978 00:34:32,347 or if it was that thing where someone seems hot or if it was that thing where someone seems hot
451 00:34:32,381 00:34:35,484 because they're hotter than everyone else at work. because they're hotter than everyone else at work.
452 00:34:35,517 00:34:36,719 Yeah. Yeah.
453 00:34:36,753 00:34:37,820 And then you put them out in the real world And then you put them out in the real world
454 00:34:37,854 00:34:41,456 and they may not even be in the top 20%, you know. and they may not even be in the top 20%, you know.
455 00:34:41,490 00:34:45,427 Yeah, well I've definitely known a few guys like that. Yeah, well I've definitely known a few guys like that.
456 00:34:46,294 00:34:46,929 See. See.
457 00:34:48,798 00:34:49,632 Anyway, Anyway,
458 00:34:50,900 00:34:53,301 Katie had been at work for maybe a month Katie had been at work for maybe a month
459 00:34:53,335 00:34:56,371 before we had this big Christmas party. before we had this big Christmas party.
460 00:34:57,674 00:35:00,409 Amanda took one look at her and said, Amanda took one look at her and said,
461 00:35:00,442 00:35:01,376 watch out for that one, watch out for that one,
462 00:35:01,410 00:35:02,210 she likes you. she likes you.
463 00:35:05,615 00:35:06,949 I thought she was crazy. I thought she was crazy.
464 00:35:08,584 00:35:10,620 Then the next week at work the guys from the county came up Then the next week at work the guys from the county came up
465 00:35:10,653 00:35:13,488 and said Katie was asking about me after the party. and said Katie was asking about me after the party.
466 00:35:13,522 00:35:14,857 Okay. Okay.
467 00:35:15,925 00:35:16,993 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
468 00:35:17,026 00:35:20,328 Then I started taking the long way from my office Then I started taking the long way from my office
469 00:35:20,362 00:35:21,363 to the break room, to the break room,
470 00:35:22,031 00:35:23,599 decided to go past her desk decided to go past her desk
471 00:35:25,333 00:35:28,537 and make eye contact and she'd smile and make eye contact and she'd smile
472 00:35:30,305 00:35:32,574 and that would be it. and that would be it.
473 00:35:32,608 00:35:34,911 And then she'd say hello and And then she'd say hello and
474 00:35:35,812 00:35:36,913 I'd say hello. I'd say hello.
475 00:35:39,015 00:35:41,851 And before you know it I'm spending 20 minutes a day And before you know it I'm spending 20 minutes a day
476 00:35:43,986 00:35:45,454 talking to her at her desk. talking to her at her desk.
477 00:35:47,522 00:35:49,625 And what would you guys talk about? And what would you guys talk about?
478 00:35:51,961 00:35:53,295 I couldn't even tell you. I couldn't even tell you.
479 00:35:55,031 00:35:56,565 It's what we didn't talk about. It's what we didn't talk about.
480 00:35:58,333 00:36:03,238 I hadn't had so much sexual tension with someone ever, I hadn't had so much sexual tension with someone ever,
481 00:36:04,573 00:36:05,675 not even with Amanda. not even with Amanda.
482 00:36:07,076 00:36:10,580 Probably because we had sex the night we met, Probably because we had sex the night we met,
483 00:36:10,613 00:36:12,347 hard to build tension like that. hard to build tension like that.
484 00:36:15,317 00:36:16,719 So did you have an affair? So did you have an affair?
485 00:36:18,621 00:36:19,454 What? What?
486 00:36:21,389 00:36:22,024 Jesus. Jesus.
487 00:36:24,060 00:36:25,293 I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
488 00:36:25,928 00:36:26,929 did you? did you?
489 00:36:27,964 00:36:28,998 No. No.
490 00:36:29,932 00:36:30,767 Oh. Oh.
491 00:36:31,834 00:36:36,038 I mean, I thought about it. I mean, I thought about it.
492 00:36:36,072 00:36:37,372 - Right. - Too much. - Right. - Too much.
493 00:36:40,877 00:36:44,714 I decided going out for drinks with the guys after work I decided going out for drinks with the guys after work
494 00:36:44,747 00:36:48,050 'cause I knew Katie would go. 'cause I knew Katie would go.
495 00:36:48,084 00:36:49,417 Well, it sounds like you Well, it sounds like you
496 00:36:49,451 00:36:50,920 and Katie had a really good connection. and Katie had a really good connection.
497 00:36:53,421 00:36:56,324 Have you talked to her recently or reached out? Have you talked to her recently or reached out?
498 00:36:57,325 00:37:00,395 When Amanda found out Katie was one of the guys she... When Amanda found out Katie was one of the guys she...
499 00:37:03,599 00:37:04,432 She what? She what?
500 00:37:06,135 00:37:09,605 I mean, I knew I was probably doing something wrong but I mean, I knew I was probably doing something wrong but
501 00:37:11,506 00:37:12,875 Amanda made me feel like Amanda made me feel like
502 00:37:13,810 00:37:16,378 I robbed a bank or something. I robbed a bank or something.
503 00:37:18,648 00:37:19,715 So what did you do? So what did you do?
504 00:37:21,550 00:37:22,852 Stopped going out after work. Stopped going out after work.
505 00:37:22,885 00:37:24,887 I didn't really have much of a choice. I didn't really have much of a choice.
506 00:37:24,921 00:37:26,622 No, that's probably a good idea. No, that's probably a good idea.
507 00:37:29,959 00:37:32,327 So that's what my ex was like. So that's what my ex was like.
508 00:37:33,629 00:37:35,497 Then why did you guys get divorced? Then why did you guys get divorced?
509 00:37:38,533 00:37:39,367 She couldn't, She couldn't,
510 00:37:43,172 00:37:44,040 after our son. after our son.
511 00:37:45,741 00:37:46,576 After what? After what?
512 00:37:47,542 00:37:48,376 What about you, What about you,
513 00:37:49,779 00:37:53,115 your baby daddy sounds like a real piece of shit. your baby daddy sounds like a real piece of shit.
514 00:37:53,149 00:37:57,019 Was he always that way or did he slowly become Was he always that way or did he slowly become
515 00:37:57,053 00:37:59,021 that way like the rest of us? that way like the rest of us?
516 00:37:59,055 00:38:00,089 No. No.
517 00:38:01,691 00:38:02,859 You know what, You know what,
518 00:38:02,892 00:38:04,026 we were really young when we met. we were really young when we met.
519 00:38:05,027 00:38:06,796 He was my first love and He was my first love and
520 00:38:10,132 00:38:12,567 I held onto that a lot longer than I should have. I held onto that a lot longer than I should have.
521 00:38:14,469 00:38:15,104 Yeah. Yeah.
522 00:38:16,939 00:38:21,409 Men are sometimes pre-programed to disappoint. Men are sometimes pre-programed to disappoint.
523 00:38:21,443 00:38:22,078 Well, Well,
524 00:38:23,779 00:38:25,147 you don't sound so bad, Scott. you don't sound so bad, Scott.
525 00:38:26,983 00:38:28,416 I'm worse. I'm worse.
526 00:38:30,052 00:38:31,153 Why do you say that? Why do you say that?
527 00:38:32,520 00:38:33,956 That's what I've been told. That's what I've been told.
528 00:38:35,457 00:38:36,626 Yeah, by who, Amanda? Yeah, by who, Amanda?
529 00:38:38,194 00:38:39,427 Her too. Her too.
530 00:38:42,632 00:38:43,465 Scott, Scott,
531 00:38:50,572 00:38:51,539 why did you call why did you call
532 00:38:53,910 00:38:54,844 a helpline tonight? a helpline tonight?
533 00:38:59,181 00:39:00,116 You can talk to me. You can talk to me.
534 00:39:03,986 00:39:07,623 We can take advantage of the anomenity that we have. We can take advantage of the anomenity that we have.
535 00:39:09,058 00:39:10,960 The anonymity? The anonymity?
536 00:39:12,494 00:39:14,897 Whatever, you know what I mean. Whatever, you know what I mean.
537 00:39:15,998 00:39:17,199 It's It's
538 00:39:17,233 00:39:18,634 much freer to talk much freer to talk
539 00:39:18,668 00:39:20,535 to someone without any history or judgment. to someone without any history or judgment.
540 00:39:23,272 00:39:26,175 You sound like one of those helplines. You sound like one of those helplines.
541 00:39:27,710 00:39:28,945 But I'm being serious. But I'm being serious.
542 00:39:31,814 00:39:32,648 I know. I know.
543 00:39:37,887 00:39:39,454 So you had a son? So you had a son?
544 00:39:43,592 00:39:44,226 Yes. Yes.
545 00:39:45,962 00:39:46,796 And And
546 00:39:49,165 00:39:49,999 how old was he how old was he
547 00:39:54,270 00:39:55,570 when he died? when he died?
548 00:40:01,043 00:40:01,877 Scott? Scott?
549 00:40:03,045 00:40:03,879 Scott? Scott?
550 00:40:06,015 00:40:07,049 Scott? Scott?
551 00:40:09,652 00:40:10,485 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
552 00:40:12,288 00:40:13,923 Scott, if you can hear me, Scott, if you can hear me,
553 00:40:13,956 00:40:15,490 I didn't mean... I didn't mean...
554 00:40:16,892 00:40:17,727 Shit. Shit.
555 00:40:35,277 00:40:37,980 Hi there, what can I do to help you tonight? Hi there, what can I do to help you tonight?
556 00:40:38,014 00:40:42,985 Hi, I'm on the phone with someone who I think is depressed Hi, I'm on the phone with someone who I think is depressed
557 00:40:43,886 00:40:45,154 and might harm themselves and might harm themselves
558 00:40:45,187 00:40:47,256 and I feel like anything I say may set them off, and I feel like anything I say may set them off,
559 00:40:47,289 00:40:49,825 so I'm not really sure what to do. so I'm not really sure what to do.
560 00:40:49,859 00:40:52,261 Make sure they agree that they aren't going Make sure they agree that they aren't going
561 00:40:52,294 00:40:53,162 to harm themselves. to harm themselves.
562 00:40:53,195 00:40:54,897 Okay. Okay.
563 00:40:54,930 00:40:56,332 Keep them on the phone until you're sure Keep them on the phone until you're sure
564 00:40:56,365 00:40:57,666 that they are safe. that they are safe.
565 00:40:57,700 00:40:59,201 Okay, and how do I do that? Okay, and how do I do that?
566 00:41:00,036 00:41:01,771 Are they still on the line now? Are they still on the line now?
567 00:41:01,804 00:41:03,305 I made a deal with the universe. I made a deal with the universe.
568 00:41:03,339 00:41:04,240 What? What?
569 00:41:04,273 00:41:05,608 As I was saying, As I was saying,
570 00:41:05,641 00:41:06,876 make sure you keep them on the phone line. make sure you keep them on the phone line.
571 00:41:06,909 00:41:08,044 That's number one. That's number one.
572 00:41:08,077 00:41:12,782 I called the helpline so they can talk me out of it. I called the helpline so they can talk me out of it.
573 00:41:15,851 00:41:19,288 I'd say the universe has made itself perfectly clear. I'd say the universe has made itself perfectly clear.
574 00:41:20,189 00:41:21,757 Talk you out of what, Scott? Talk you out of what, Scott?
575 00:41:24,660 00:41:25,294 Scott, Scott,
576 00:41:27,329 00:41:29,331 are you thinking about killing yourself? are you thinking about killing yourself?
577 00:41:31,133 00:41:32,234 Just letting go. Just letting go.
578 00:41:34,003 00:41:35,037 Letting go of what? Letting go of what?
579 00:41:37,306 00:41:38,573 Everything. Everything.
580 00:41:40,743 00:41:41,577 Fear, Fear,
581 00:41:42,778 00:41:43,612 hope, hope,
582 00:41:45,381 00:41:46,182 just just
583 00:41:48,284 00:41:49,285 accepting. accepting.
584 00:41:51,020 00:41:52,321 Accepting what, Scott? Accepting what, Scott?
585 00:41:54,290 00:41:55,724 That no one wants me here. That no one wants me here.
586 00:41:55,758 00:41:57,293 No, I want you here. No, I want you here.
587 00:41:58,294 00:41:59,695 You don't know me. You don't know me.
588 00:41:59,728 00:42:00,896 No, but I do. No, but I do.
589 00:42:01,897 00:42:04,333 I do want you here and I know that your daughter I do want you here and I know that your daughter
590 00:42:04,366 00:42:06,068 - would want you here. - No, she doesn't. - would want you here. - No, she doesn't.
591 00:42:06,102 00:42:06,936 Yes, she would. Yes, she would.
592 00:42:08,404 00:42:12,675 Scott, when I was young my father abandoned our family Scott, when I was young my father abandoned our family
593 00:42:12,708 00:42:13,642 and I hated him. and I hated him.
594 00:42:15,244 00:42:17,113 But there was always a little part of me But there was always a little part of me
595 00:42:17,146 00:42:19,381 that wished he was still around. that wished he was still around.
596 00:42:19,415 00:42:23,719 And I know that your daughter feels that way too. And I know that your daughter feels that way too.
597 00:42:24,820 00:42:25,988 Not anymore. Not anymore.
598 00:42:27,857 00:42:28,691 How old is she? How old is she?
599 00:42:31,694 00:42:32,328 17. 17.
600 00:42:33,896 00:42:35,030 She's graduating. She's graduating.
601 00:42:35,064 00:42:36,298 That's exciting. That's exciting.
602 00:42:37,466 00:42:39,135 She asked me not to be there. She asked me not to be there.
603 00:42:43,038 00:42:43,873 She said that? She said that?
604 00:42:45,407 00:42:48,043 That's the thing no one tells you about rock bottom, That's the thing no one tells you about rock bottom,
605 00:42:48,077 00:42:49,178 it doesn't exist. it doesn't exist.
606 00:42:50,312 00:42:51,680 There's just There's just
607 00:42:52,648 00:42:55,151 harder levels buried underneath all the shit and harder levels buried underneath all the shit and
608 00:42:56,418 00:43:00,322 they break you into a million pieces they break you into a million pieces
609 00:43:01,891 00:43:03,192 and you just keep... and you just keep...
610 00:43:07,229 00:43:09,365 Scott, I'm not really sure what you mean. Scott, I'm not really sure what you mean.
611 00:43:11,367 00:43:13,903 She sent me a letter a few months ago. She sent me a letter a few months ago.
612 00:43:13,936 00:43:15,437 Okay, she sent you a letter. Okay, she sent you a letter.
613 00:43:16,438 00:43:19,942 That's great, maybe that's just how she wants That's great, maybe that's just how she wants
614 00:43:19,975 00:43:21,177 to communicate with you. to communicate with you.
615 00:43:22,311 00:43:23,445 I don't think so. I don't think so.
616 00:43:24,947 00:43:26,182 Why would you say that? Why would you say that?
617 00:43:28,250 00:43:29,418 I tried writing her back. I tried writing her back.
618 00:43:30,452 00:43:31,687 Okay, and? Okay, and?
619 00:43:33,822 00:43:34,456 They all came back, They all came back,
620 00:43:34,490 00:43:35,958 return to sender. return to sender.
621 00:43:36,892 00:43:38,060 All of them? All of them?
622 00:43:38,928 00:43:40,095 Yeah. Yeah.
623 00:43:40,129 00:43:41,764 Did you have the right address? Did you have the right address?
624 00:43:43,299 00:43:44,400 Yes. Yes.
625 00:43:44,433 00:43:45,968 Sorry. Sorry.
626 00:43:46,001 00:43:47,903 I recognized the handwriting on the envelopes I recognized the handwriting on the envelopes
627 00:43:50,539 00:43:53,309 and she said everything she wanted to say. and she said everything she wanted to say.
628 00:43:55,978 00:43:57,213 And what did she say? And what did she say?
629 00:43:59,048 00:43:59,848 Nothing. Nothing.
630 00:44:06,488 00:44:07,323 Scott? Scott?
631 00:44:10,092 00:44:12,528 You want me to read you the letter? You want me to read you the letter?
632 00:44:12,561 00:44:14,230 You don't have to. You don't have to.
633 00:44:15,331 00:44:18,000 No, I'll read you the letter. No, I'll read you the letter.
634 00:44:18,033 00:44:18,867 Okay. Okay.
635 00:44:26,175 00:44:27,776 Dad, Dad,
636 00:44:27,810 00:44:30,112 with my graduation approaching, with my graduation approaching,
637 00:44:30,145 00:44:31,347 I've been really thinking about it I've been really thinking about it
638 00:44:31,380 00:44:33,415 and I'm asking you not to attend. and I'm asking you not to attend.
639 00:44:34,917 00:44:37,786 Mom and I are just starting to be happy again Mom and I are just starting to be happy again
640 00:44:37,820 00:44:40,356 and every time you come around it cancels that out. and every time you come around it cancels that out.
641 00:44:41,457 00:44:43,525 Mom cries for days afterwards. Mom cries for days afterwards.
642 00:44:45,561 00:44:49,798 And you're always drunk and it's embarrassing. And you're always drunk and it's embarrassing.
643 00:44:51,867 00:44:53,869 All my friends know about you and Dylan. All my friends know about you and Dylan.
644 00:44:56,606 00:44:58,540 I hate the way they look at you. I hate the way they look at you.
645 00:45:00,476 00:45:02,411 It makes me look at you different too. It makes me look at you different too.
646 00:45:06,081 00:45:07,483 I'm going to college in the fall I'm going to college in the fall
647 00:45:09,251 00:45:10,786 where no one knows me. where no one knows me.
648 00:45:12,254 00:45:16,458 I can just me Emily and not that poor girl I can just me Emily and not that poor girl
649 00:45:16,492 00:45:17,860 or that man's other kid or that man's other kid
650 00:45:20,429 00:45:21,563 or Dylan's sister. or Dylan's sister.
651 00:45:24,933 00:45:26,502 I need that. I need that.
652 00:45:26,535 00:45:28,804 I'm sorry if this hurts you I'm sorry if this hurts you
653 00:45:29,739 00:45:31,940 but I have to start looking out for myself. but I have to start looking out for myself.
654 00:45:34,476 00:45:36,912 Signed, Emily Brooks. Signed, Emily Brooks.
655 00:45:39,081 00:45:41,517 She's going by her mom's maiden name now, that's fun. She's going by her mom's maiden name now, that's fun.
656 00:45:43,986 00:45:46,589 Why would she say all those things? Why would she say all those things?
657 00:45:46,623 00:45:48,190 Because she hates me. Because she hates me.
658 00:45:48,223 00:45:49,558 No. No.
659 00:45:49,592 00:45:52,595 No Scott, I'm sure she doesn't hate you. No Scott, I'm sure she doesn't hate you.
660 00:45:52,629 00:45:54,396 I'm sure she's hurting. I'm sure she's hurting.
661 00:45:54,430 00:45:56,098 I'm the one that's hurting her. I'm the one that's hurting her.
662 00:45:57,066 00:45:58,367 Why are you hurting her? Why are you hurting her?
663 00:45:59,968 00:46:00,869 It's not her fault. It's not her fault.
664 00:46:00,903 00:46:03,138 She will listen to her mom She will listen to her mom
665 00:46:03,172 00:46:06,008 and aunts say nothing good about me, and aunts say nothing good about me,
666 00:46:07,242 00:46:09,545 even I'm starting to believe it. even I'm starting to believe it.
667 00:46:09,579 00:46:10,846 Believe what? Believe what?
668 00:46:12,114 00:46:13,449 I'm a monster. I'm a monster.
669 00:46:15,050 00:46:16,285 I'm a terrible person, I'm a terrible person,
670 00:46:16,318 00:46:19,288 a failure as a father. a failure as a father.
671 00:46:19,321 00:46:20,122 Scott. Scott.
672 00:46:20,155 00:46:21,090 I was in the car too, I was in the car too,
673 00:46:21,123 00:46:22,391 did you know that? did you know that?
674 00:46:22,424 00:46:24,126 What car? What car?
675 00:46:24,159 00:46:27,262 I was in a coma for five days. I was in a coma for five days.
676 00:46:28,497 00:46:29,632 Amanda had to make the decision Amanda had to make the decision
677 00:46:29,666 00:46:33,603 to take Dylan off life support while I was in a coma and to take Dylan off life support while I was in a coma and
678 00:46:35,170 00:46:37,072 she never forgave me for that, she never forgave me for that,
679 00:46:38,574 00:46:40,075 among other things. among other things.
680 00:46:40,109 00:46:41,611 I'm so, so sorry Scott. I'm so, so sorry Scott.
681 00:46:47,650 00:46:48,585 I don't know I don't know
682 00:46:48,618 00:46:50,052 - what to say. - Did you know - what to say. - Did you know
683 00:46:50,085 00:46:51,086 that the Sazerac was the first cocktail? that the Sazerac was the first cocktail?
684 00:46:51,954 00:46:53,055 What? What?
685 00:46:53,088 00:46:55,991 Yeah, it was invented in New Orleans. Yeah, it was invented in New Orleans.
686 00:46:56,024 00:47:00,562 This guy, Peychaud or however you pronounce that, This guy, Peychaud or however you pronounce that,
687 00:47:00,597 00:47:03,265 he was selling these bitters and he mixed it he was selling these bitters and he mixed it
688 00:47:03,298 00:47:06,168 with French brandy and made the first cocktail. with French brandy and made the first cocktail.
689 00:47:06,201 00:47:07,569 Scott. Scott.
690 00:47:07,604 00:47:08,638 What? What?
691 00:47:12,742 00:47:16,311 Do you think it would be useful to talk about your son? Do you think it would be useful to talk about your son?
692 00:47:19,148 00:47:19,982 No. No.
693 00:47:22,652 00:47:24,052 Dylan was your son? Dylan was your son?
694 00:47:26,388 00:47:27,222 Yes. Yes.
695 00:47:30,993 00:47:32,327 And And
696 00:47:32,361 00:47:33,362 how old was he? how old was he?
697 00:47:39,769 00:47:42,271 I'm done talking about him. I'm done talking about him.
698 00:47:42,304 00:47:43,539 Why? Why?
699 00:47:43,572 00:47:45,941 I've talked about him enough for 10 lifetimes. I've talked about him enough for 10 lifetimes.
700 00:47:46,743 00:47:49,511 I talk about him with my parents. I talk about him with my parents.
701 00:47:49,545 00:47:52,314 I talked about him with my brothers. I talked about him with my brothers.
702 00:47:52,347 00:47:54,450 I talked about him with the guys at AA. I talked about him with the guys at AA.
703 00:47:56,586 00:47:58,588 The only one who won't talk to me about him is Amanda The only one who won't talk to me about him is Amanda
704 00:47:58,621 00:48:01,089 because she blames me. because she blames me.
705 00:48:01,123 00:48:02,458 Why does Amanda blame you? Why does Amanda blame you?
706 00:48:05,728 00:48:06,995 I was out after work. I was out after work.
707 00:48:08,698 00:48:12,534 I hadn't gone out in months and I only went I hadn't gone out in months and I only went
708 00:48:12,568 00:48:14,369 because I knew Katie would be there. because I knew Katie would be there.
709 00:48:15,672 00:48:17,774 Amanda called to say she was running late Amanda called to say she was running late
710 00:48:17,807 00:48:19,676 and couldn't get Dylan from soccer practice and couldn't get Dylan from soccer practice
711 00:48:19,709 00:48:20,610 and could I do it? and could I do it?
712 00:48:22,144 00:48:23,746 I knew there'd be a fight if I... I knew there'd be a fight if I...
713 00:48:25,180 00:48:29,719 Okay, but that doesn't make it your fault. Okay, but that doesn't make it your fault.
714 00:48:29,752 00:48:32,554 He wasn't wearing a seatbelt. He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
715 00:48:34,156 00:48:36,626 He was complaining about it choking him He was complaining about it choking him
716 00:48:36,659 00:48:38,360 and I probably just let it go. and I probably just let it go.
717 00:48:40,295 00:48:42,564 It wasn't far from the soccer field to the house. It wasn't far from the soccer field to the house.
718 00:48:42,599 00:48:44,767 Yeah, and accidents happen, you know. Yeah, and accidents happen, you know.
719 00:48:44,801 00:48:46,101 No, no, no, no, No, no, no, no,
720 00:48:46,134 00:48:47,604 - don't say that. - But it's true, Scott. - don't say that. - But it's true, Scott.
721 00:48:47,637 00:48:49,505 You don't get to say that to me. You don't get to say that to me.
722 00:48:49,538 00:48:51,641 People say stupid shit like that to me People say stupid shit like that to me
723 00:48:51,674 00:48:52,709 - all the time. - I'm sorry, Scott. - all the time. - I'm sorry, Scott.
724 00:48:52,742 00:48:54,510 - I'm just trying to help you. - Accidents happen. - I'm just trying to help you. - Accidents happen.
725 00:48:54,543 00:48:56,345 It happens for a reason. It happens for a reason.
726 00:48:56,378 00:48:57,780 God works in mysterious ways. God works in mysterious ways.
727 00:48:57,814 00:48:59,047 Well, fuck you. Well, fuck you.
728 00:48:59,081 00:49:00,415 It should've been me that died. It should've been me that died.
729 00:49:00,449 00:49:01,784 It should've been me. It should've been me.
730 00:49:01,818 00:49:04,721 Why do I get to go on living, huh? Why do I get to go on living, huh?
731 00:49:07,189 00:49:08,023 Scott? Scott?
732 00:49:09,458 00:49:10,425 Scott? Scott?
733 00:49:13,730 00:49:15,330 Scott? Scott?
734 00:49:15,364 00:49:16,198 Hello? Hello?
735 00:49:17,165 00:49:17,800 Hello? Hello?
736 00:49:20,369 00:49:21,169 Hello? Hello?
737 00:49:22,471 00:49:23,305 Shit. Shit.
738 00:49:25,107 00:49:25,742 F. F.
739 00:49:49,599 00:49:52,702 Come on, you fucking coward. Come on, you fucking coward.
740 00:49:52,735 00:49:53,770 Come on. Come on.
741 00:49:55,337 00:49:57,205 911, what's your emergency? 911, what's your emergency?
742 00:49:57,239 00:50:00,208 Hi, I just got off the phone with someone Hi, I just got off the phone with someone
743 00:50:00,242 00:50:02,812 who I think might be planning to kill themselves who I think might be planning to kill themselves
744 00:50:02,845 00:50:05,314 and I'm just not sure what to do. and I'm just not sure what to do.
745 00:50:05,347 00:50:06,415 Okay ma'am, where is he? Okay ma'am, where is he?
746 00:50:06,448 00:50:07,617 He's at his house. He's at his house.
747 00:50:07,650 00:50:11,186 What's the address? What's the address?
748 00:50:11,219 00:50:12,622 I don't know. I don't know.
749 00:50:12,655 00:50:15,157 Do you have his phone number? Do you have his phone number?
750 00:50:15,190 00:50:16,893 No, I don't. No, I don't.
751 00:50:16,926 00:50:18,861 What is his name? What is his name?
752 00:50:18,895 00:50:20,597 His name is Scott. His name is Scott.
753 00:50:20,630 00:50:22,331 Scott, last name? Scott, last name?
754 00:50:23,498 00:50:24,634 - I don't know. - I'm sorry ma'am, - I don't know. - I'm sorry ma'am,
755 00:50:24,667 00:50:25,635 if you don't know his full name, if you don't know his full name,
756 00:50:25,668 00:50:28,705 his address or any his address or any
757 00:50:28,738 00:50:30,339 No, I understand what you're saying No, I understand what you're saying
758 00:50:30,372 00:50:32,174 but you don't understand, okay. but you don't understand, okay.
759 00:50:32,207 00:50:36,646 He called me and now he hung up and I don't know what to do. He called me and now he hung up and I don't know what to do.
760 00:50:36,679 00:50:38,146 Ma'am, if he calls again get an address Ma'am, if he calls again get an address
761 00:50:38,180 00:50:39,414 so we can send some help. so we can send some help.
762 00:50:39,448 00:50:40,783 Right now I have to keep this line open, okay. Right now I have to keep this line open, okay.
763 00:50:40,817 00:50:41,951 No, please? No, please?
764 00:50:41,985 00:50:43,886 Ma'am, I have to keep this line open. Ma'am, I have to keep this line open.
765 00:50:43,920 00:50:46,288 No, but please just help me, No, but please just help me,
766 00:50:46,321 00:50:47,456 I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
767 00:50:51,794 00:50:53,462 Are you still there? Are you still there?
768 00:50:54,864 00:50:57,767 Ma'am? Ma'am?
769 00:51:43,378 00:51:44,212 Okay. Okay.
770 00:52:43,906 00:52:44,874 Hello? Hello?
771 00:52:44,907 00:52:46,475 Hi, Amanda Brooks? Hi, Amanda Brooks?
772 00:52:46,508 00:52:47,375 Yes, who is this? Yes, who is this?
773 00:52:47,409 00:52:48,945 Yes hi, Yes hi,
774 00:52:48,978 00:52:52,949 my name is Beth and I was just wondering my name is Beth and I was just wondering
775 00:52:52,982 00:52:54,951 if your ex-husband's name is Scott? if your ex-husband's name is Scott?
776 00:52:54,984 00:52:56,719 I don't have anything to do with him anymore. I don't have anything to do with him anymore.
777 00:52:56,753 00:52:58,921 I completely understand that but I just wanna let you know I completely understand that but I just wanna let you know
778 00:52:58,955 00:53:01,323 that I have an emergency. that I have an emergency.
779 00:53:01,356 00:53:02,658 I have to go. I have to go.
780 00:53:02,692 00:53:03,525 Please don't. Please don't.
781 00:53:32,088 00:53:33,321 Scott. Scott.
782 00:53:42,464 00:53:43,266 Okay. Okay.
783 00:54:58,107 00:54:59,075 Hey, it's Emily. Hey, it's Emily.
784 00:54:59,108 00:55:00,142 Leave a message after the beep. Leave a message after the beep.
785 00:55:00,176 00:55:01,978 You know what to do. You know what to do.
786 00:55:06,048 00:55:07,750 Hi Em, it's dad. Hi Em, it's dad.
787 00:55:09,752 00:55:10,586 You home? You home?
788 00:55:16,592 00:55:17,525 I love you. I love you.
789 00:55:21,964 00:55:22,798 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
790 00:55:27,169 00:55:28,536 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
791 00:56:51,287 00:56:53,122 God, please, please. God, please, please.
792 00:56:57,259 00:56:58,493 Hello? Hello?
793 00:57:00,663 00:57:01,297 Hello? Hello?
794 00:57:01,330 00:57:02,530 Sorry I yelled. Sorry I yelled.
795 00:57:05,968 00:57:07,737 - Sorry. - What'd you say? - Sorry. - What'd you say?
796 00:57:07,770 00:57:09,271 I'm sorry I yelled. I'm sorry I yelled.
797 00:57:11,307 00:57:12,708 No, that's fine. No, that's fine.
798 00:57:15,011 00:57:17,246 I was just really upset that you hung up. I was just really upset that you hung up.
799 00:57:18,881 00:57:19,782 I didn't. I didn't.
800 00:57:21,584 00:57:24,020 I accidentally pulled the phone cord out I accidentally pulled the phone cord out
801 00:57:24,053 00:57:24,887 of the wall. of the wall.
802 00:57:27,656 00:57:31,160 Okay Scott, do you think you could give me your number Okay Scott, do you think you could give me your number
803 00:57:31,193 00:57:33,062 in case we get disconnected again? in case we get disconnected again?
804 00:57:33,095 00:57:34,597 Have you ever had a Rob Roy? Have you ever had a Rob Roy?
805 00:57:36,332 00:57:38,134 No. No.
806 00:57:38,167 00:57:41,270 It's like a Manhattan but you make it with Scotch. It's like a Manhattan but you make it with Scotch.
807 00:57:43,039 00:57:44,940 It was actually invented in Manhattan. It was actually invented in Manhattan.
808 00:57:46,075 00:57:48,978 The bartender named it after a opera The bartender named it after a opera
809 00:57:49,011 00:57:50,880 about a Scottish folk hero. about a Scottish folk hero.
810 00:57:51,914 00:57:52,748 Scott, Scott,
811 00:57:55,284 00:57:56,652 are you still drinking? are you still drinking?
812 00:57:59,622 00:58:00,256 Maybe. Maybe.
813 00:58:02,224 00:58:05,895 Do you think that we could keep talking Do you think that we could keep talking
814 00:58:05,928 00:58:07,196 without anymore drinks? without anymore drinks?
815 00:58:09,231 00:58:11,300 Do you think that's a good idea? Do you think that's a good idea?
816 00:58:11,333 00:58:12,168 Yeah. Yeah.
817 00:58:17,006 00:58:17,840 Hello? Hello?
818 00:58:19,742 00:58:22,011 Do you ever think about what happens when we die? Do you ever think about what happens when we die?
819 00:58:23,345 00:58:24,580 No. No.
820 00:58:25,281 00:58:27,917 No, I don't. No, I don't.
821 00:58:27,950 00:58:28,784 I do I do
822 00:58:30,686 00:58:31,320 all the time. all the time.
823 00:58:35,257 00:58:37,827 Scott, maybe we can talk about something else Scott, maybe we can talk about something else
824 00:58:37,860 00:58:40,129 like your daughter and maybe where she's going. like your daughter and maybe where she's going.
825 00:58:40,162 00:58:44,700 Do you never think about what happens when you die? Do you never think about what happens when you die?
826 00:58:48,671 00:58:51,607 No, I don't really like to think about that. No, I don't really like to think about that.
827 00:58:53,776 00:58:56,912 Nobody likes to think about the bad shit happening. Nobody likes to think about the bad shit happening.
828 00:58:58,714 00:59:01,117 That's why no one knows what to do when it does. That's why no one knows what to do when it does.
829 00:59:03,919 00:59:05,387 Scott, what's your address? Scott, what's your address?
830 00:59:08,357 00:59:10,159 I don't believe in hell, I don't believe in hell,
831 00:59:12,461 00:59:15,898 unless this is it which it makes sense. unless this is it which it makes sense.
832 00:59:16,866 00:59:18,734 Scott, where do you live? Scott, where do you live?
833 00:59:18,767 00:59:20,970 I think Einstein was close. I think Einstein was close.
834 00:59:22,438 00:59:23,939 Einstein? Einstein?
835 00:59:23,973 00:59:25,941 Einstein said that Einstein said that
836 00:59:25,975 00:59:28,944 "Energy can't be created or destroyed," so "Energy can't be created or destroyed," so
837 00:59:30,346 00:59:35,351 I figure our energy just keeps on going after we kick it. I figure our energy just keeps on going after we kick it.
838 00:59:38,354 00:59:39,388 Scott, look... Scott, look...
839 00:59:39,421 00:59:40,990 It just keeps on going, It just keeps on going,
840 00:59:42,458 00:59:44,894 doing whatever it was doing before I got here, I guess. doing whatever it was doing before I got here, I guess.
841 00:59:44,927 00:59:46,762 Scott, I want you to listen okay. Scott, I want you to listen okay.
842 00:59:48,197 00:59:49,198 - I know I could never - I've never remembered - I know I could never - I've never remembered
843 00:59:49,231 00:59:52,034 - stuff from before. - Understand how this feels. - stuff from before. - Understand how this feels.
844 00:59:52,067 00:59:56,205 But it's in a different language. But it's in a different language.
845 00:59:56,238 00:59:57,373 Scott, I know Scott, I know
846 00:59:57,406 01:00:00,176 - that you were the driver. - Or frequency or something. - that you were the driver. - Or frequency or something.
847 01:00:00,209 01:00:02,444 And I know that you were drunk. And I know that you were drunk.
848 01:00:02,478 01:00:05,414 And I know that you feel hopeless right now And I know that you feel hopeless right now
849 01:00:08,250 01:00:09,385 but I want you to know but I want you to know
850 01:00:10,486 01:00:11,820 Like how a radio can get Like how a radio can get
851 01:00:11,854 01:00:12,922 - all the stations - That you don't have - all the stations - That you don't have
852 01:00:12,955 01:00:14,089 - to be ashamed - But it has to be tuned - to be ashamed - But it has to be tuned
853 01:00:14,123 01:00:15,191 - to the right ones. - And that I would like - to the right ones. - And that I would like
854 01:00:15,224 01:00:17,159 to talk to you so if you could give me your number to talk to you so if you could give me your number
855 01:00:17,193 01:00:20,196 for your address I would love to come meet you face to face. for your address I would love to come meet you face to face.
856 01:00:22,164 01:00:23,799 Maybe I could come over tomorrow? Maybe I could come over tomorrow?
857 01:00:24,900 01:00:26,735 No, I can't tomorrow. No, I can't tomorrow.
858 01:00:26,769 01:00:27,403 Why? Why?
859 01:00:29,872 01:00:31,173 Why can't you tomorrow? Why can't you tomorrow?
860 01:00:34,543 01:00:39,748 I figured if there was something after this world that I figured if there was something after this world that
861 01:00:40,382 01:00:42,151 - Scott. - Our loved ones - Scott. - Our loved ones
862 01:00:42,184 01:00:46,188 or whomever would send messages or whomever would send messages
863 01:00:47,456 01:00:48,857 - or signals. - Scott, when you weren't - or signals. - Scott, when you weren't
864 01:00:48,891 01:00:50,492 on the phone I was really worried about you. on the phone I was really worried about you.
865 01:00:51,360 01:00:54,363 - Then I thought, well - Okay, and I want you - Then I thought, well - Okay, and I want you
866 01:00:54,396 01:00:57,333 - to know that I'm here - What would I do, maybe they - to know that I'm here - What would I do, maybe they
867 01:00:57,366 01:00:59,401 If you need someone to listen and that you don't If you need someone to listen and that you don't
868 01:00:59,435 01:01:01,804 - have to feel ashamed. - Send them and - have to feel ashamed. - Send them and
869 01:01:01,837 01:01:04,373 we just don't have the right radio to hear it. we just don't have the right radio to hear it.
870 01:01:05,541 01:01:06,508 Scott, Scott,
871 01:01:08,310 01:01:09,511 can you just answer me? can you just answer me?
872 01:01:09,545 01:01:11,413 Like to be in the middle of nowhere Like to be in the middle of nowhere
873 01:01:13,182 01:01:15,050 and just trying to send those messages and just trying to send those messages
874 01:01:15,084 01:01:16,552 - and know that no one's - Scott, I need you - and know that no one's - Scott, I need you
875 01:01:16,586 01:01:19,355 - to tell me where you live? - Gonna hear them. - to tell me where you live? - Gonna hear them.
876 01:01:20,322 01:01:21,156 Okay. Okay.
877 01:01:22,524 01:01:26,128 Maybe it's like when we send stuff into space. Maybe it's like when we send stuff into space.
878 01:01:27,597 01:01:28,732 Scott, I would like to come over and meet you. Scott, I would like to come over and meet you.
879 01:01:28,764 01:01:33,936 We don't know who or if anyone's ever gonna hear us. We don't know who or if anyone's ever gonna hear us.
880 01:01:38,240 01:01:39,074 Scott? Scott?
881 01:01:40,943 01:01:42,544 - Scott there's still so much. - Unless they do - Scott there's still so much. - Unless they do
882 01:01:42,579 01:01:45,547 and they send a message back it would be long and they send a message back it would be long
883 01:01:45,582 01:01:46,448 after we're gone. after we're gone.
884 01:01:46,482 01:01:48,150 Scott, there's still so much Scott, there's still so much
885 01:01:48,183 01:01:49,118 - I don't know about you - Our children's children - I don't know about you - Our children's children
886 01:01:49,151 01:01:50,352 And I would like to get And I would like to get
887 01:01:50,386 01:01:51,588 to know you a little bit more, okay. to know you a little bit more, okay.
888 01:01:51,621 01:01:54,156 They'll be the ones that hear them. They'll be the ones that hear them.
889 01:01:56,358 01:01:57,860 And it'll be just like it is now. And it'll be just like it is now.
890 01:02:01,096 01:02:03,499 - Just like what is? - Just like there was nothing. - Just like what is? - Just like there was nothing.
891 01:02:03,532 01:02:05,868 Scott, there isn't nothing, okay. Scott, there isn't nothing, okay.
892 01:02:08,103 01:02:08,937 I'm here I'm here
893 01:02:10,472 01:02:13,576 and I wanna talk to you, okay, and I wanna talk to you, okay,
894 01:02:13,610 01:02:16,412 and I want you to know that I care about you, okay, and I want you to know that I care about you, okay,
895 01:02:20,983 01:02:22,284 and that you're not alone. and that you're not alone.
896 01:02:23,952 01:02:25,387 You're so nice. You're so nice.
897 01:02:28,891 01:02:33,896 I wish I could talk to someone who didn't know for once, I wish I could talk to someone who didn't know for once,
898 01:02:39,435 01:02:40,569 who didn't see me like that. who didn't see me like that.
899 01:02:40,603 01:02:41,470 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
900 01:02:42,672 01:02:44,607 Just one last time. Just one last time.
901 01:02:44,641 01:02:47,242 Scott please don't say things like that, okay. Scott please don't say things like that, okay.
902 01:02:48,243 01:02:49,078 Okay? Okay?
903 01:02:50,379 01:02:52,014 You don't have to say things like that, You don't have to say things like that,
904 01:02:52,047 01:02:53,248 okay, you're safe. okay, you're safe.
905 01:02:55,317 01:02:56,452 And I care about you, And I care about you,
906 01:02:56,485 01:02:57,453 I really do. I really do.
907 01:02:59,988 01:03:01,423 No, you don't. No, you don't.
908 01:03:01,457 01:03:02,991 You don't have to be ashamed. You don't have to be ashamed.
909 01:03:07,262 01:03:08,864 I should've had the affair, I should've had the affair,
910 01:03:11,033 01:03:12,101 you were right. you were right.
911 01:03:12,134 01:03:13,369 Why would you say that? Why would you say that?
912 01:03:15,971 01:03:17,607 And planned stuff with Katie, And planned stuff with Katie,
913 01:03:17,640 01:03:19,007 everything would be okay. everything would be okay.
914 01:03:19,041 01:03:21,977 Scott, don't say things like that okay. Scott, don't say things like that okay.
915 01:03:22,010 01:03:23,979 That's not true. That's not true.
916 01:03:24,012 01:03:25,381 It's true. It's true.
917 01:03:25,414 01:03:27,449 No. No.
918 01:03:27,483 01:03:28,450 Amanda Amanda
919 01:03:30,386 01:03:31,520 would divorce me would divorce me
920 01:03:33,288 01:03:38,293 and we would've talked and and we would've talked and
921 01:03:38,961 01:03:41,296 Emily would probably disown me. Emily would probably disown me.
922 01:03:43,733 01:03:45,934 But Dylan would still be alive. But Dylan would still be alive.
923 01:03:49,371 01:03:50,172 Scott. Scott.
924 01:03:50,205 01:03:51,440 Don't you worry. Don't you worry.
925 01:03:51,473 01:03:53,576 I want you to know that you don't have I want you to know that you don't have
926 01:03:53,610 01:03:55,277 to feel hopeless, okay. to feel hopeless, okay.
927 01:03:57,680 01:04:00,015 Can you just tell me that you're gonna be okay? Can you just tell me that you're gonna be okay?
928 01:04:01,718 01:04:03,653 Can you say those words to me? Can you say those words to me?
929 01:04:03,686 01:04:04,987 Who cares? Who cares?
930 01:04:05,020 01:04:05,622 I care. I care.
931 01:04:05,655 01:04:07,156 No you don't. No you don't.
932 01:04:07,189 01:04:09,425 I really, really do care. I really, really do care.
933 01:04:10,627 01:04:11,927 I really do. I really do.
934 01:04:20,670 01:04:21,671 Okay? Okay?
935 01:04:21,704 01:04:24,306 I don't feel good. I don't feel good.
936 01:04:24,339 01:04:26,175 You don't feel good? You don't feel good?
937 01:04:29,077 01:04:30,713 No. The pills. No. The pills.
938 01:04:30,747 01:04:31,547 What? What?
939 01:04:36,418 01:04:38,187 Scott, did you take pills? Scott, did you take pills?
940 01:04:40,122 01:04:40,956 Scott? Scott?
941 01:04:43,158 01:04:45,060 Scott, did you take pills? Scott, did you take pills?
942 01:04:46,061 01:04:46,696 Scott? Scott?
943 01:04:48,330 01:04:50,733 Scott, please answer me okay? Scott, please answer me okay?
944 01:04:51,768 01:04:53,001 Scott? Scott?
945 01:04:54,737 01:04:56,138 Scott, are you okay? Scott, are you okay?
946 01:04:58,207 01:04:59,776 Scott? Scott?
947 01:05:06,749 01:05:09,284 Scott, just talk to me okay. Scott, just talk to me okay.
948 01:05:09,985 01:05:12,655 You're gonna be okay, I promise. You're gonna be okay, I promise.
949 01:05:12,689 01:05:14,356 - I promise. - Hello? - I promise. - Hello?
950 01:05:14,389 01:05:15,758 Hi Amanda, please don't hang up. Hi Amanda, please don't hang up.
951 01:05:15,792 01:05:17,794 Please, I have Scott on the other line Please, I have Scott on the other line
952 01:05:17,827 01:05:19,696 and I need his address, okay. and I need his address, okay.
953 01:05:19,729 01:05:20,730 I already told you, I already told you,
954 01:05:20,763 01:05:22,064 - I don't have his address. - I understand that - I don't have his address. - I understand that
955 01:05:22,097 01:05:23,365 but this is an emergency. but this is an emergency.
956 01:05:23,398 01:05:26,703 I think he's gonna kill himself, please. I think he's gonna kill himself, please.
957 01:05:26,736 01:05:27,670 You need to call the police. You need to call the police.
958 01:05:27,704 01:05:29,238 I did call the police. I did call the police.
959 01:05:29,271 01:05:32,307 They need an address or a phone number, They need an address or a phone number,
960 01:05:32,341 01:05:33,509 okay, Amanda. okay, Amanda.
961 01:05:33,542 01:05:34,811 I do not have an address I do not have an address
962 01:05:34,844 01:05:36,579 or phone number, I'm sorry. or phone number, I'm sorry.
963 01:05:36,613 01:05:38,781 Please, you don't understand. Please, you don't understand.
964 01:05:38,815 01:05:39,716 I don't have it. I don't have it.
965 01:05:39,749 01:05:40,783 There's nothing I can do, There's nothing I can do,
966 01:05:40,817 01:05:41,784 - I don't have it. - Scott? - I don't have it. - Scott?
967 01:05:42,685 01:05:43,753 Amanda, please. Amanda, please.
968 01:05:44,821 01:05:46,689 Emily, is Emily there? Emily, is Emily there?
969 01:05:46,723 01:05:47,824 How do you know Emily? How do you know Emily?
970 01:05:47,857 01:05:48,758 She wrote him a letter. She wrote him a letter.
971 01:05:48,791 01:05:50,392 She has his address, She has his address,
972 01:05:50,425 01:05:51,426 please go get her. please go get her.
973 01:05:51,460 01:05:52,427 What? What?
974 01:05:52,461 01:05:54,162 - Go get her. - Okay. Okay. - Go get her. - Okay. Okay.
975 01:05:54,196 01:05:55,598 - Scott? - Emily? - Scott? - Emily?
976 01:05:55,632 01:05:57,232 - What? - Did you write - What? - Did you write
977 01:05:57,266 01:05:59,067 - a letter to your dad? - Scott, I'm here okay. - a letter to your dad? - Scott, I'm here okay.
978 01:05:59,101 01:06:00,569 - Why? - 'Cause this random lady - Why? - 'Cause this random lady
979 01:06:00,603 01:06:02,271 on the phone is saying you wrote a letter to your dad. on the phone is saying you wrote a letter to your dad.
980 01:06:02,304 01:06:03,806 She needs his address, She needs his address,
981 01:06:03,840 01:06:06,208 apparently you know it 'cause you've written letters to him. apparently you know it 'cause you've written letters to him.
982 01:06:06,241 01:06:07,677 Amanda, please hurry up. Amanda, please hurry up.
983 01:06:07,710 01:06:10,145 Just give me a second. Just give me a second.
984 01:06:10,178 01:06:11,581 Please hurry up. Please hurry up.
985 01:06:11,614 01:06:12,715 Scott, just say something. Scott, just say something.
986 01:06:12,749 01:06:13,683 She did write a letter She did write a letter
987 01:06:13,716 01:06:15,150 and I didn't know she had. and I didn't know she had.
988 01:06:15,183 01:06:18,220 Yes, just give me the address please? Yes, just give me the address please?
989 01:06:18,253 01:06:20,657 1474 Main Street, 1474 Main Street,
990 01:06:20,690 01:06:21,824 Upper Midwest Side Upper Midwest Side
991 01:06:21,858 01:06:22,859 1722 Cherio Hill. 1722 Cherio Hill.
992 01:06:22,892 01:06:24,526 Yes. Okay. Yes. Okay.
993 01:06:24,560 01:06:26,663 Sorry, I didn't know she was sending him letters. Sorry, I didn't know she was sending him letters.
994 01:06:26,696 01:06:27,864 You'd have to talk to her. You'd have to talk to her.
995 01:06:33,703 01:06:35,270 Scott? Scott?
996 01:06:35,304 01:06:36,305 Scott? Scott?
997 01:06:36,338 01:06:37,472 Say something, okay. Say something, okay.
998 01:06:37,506 01:06:38,741 Just tell me you're gonna be okay. Just tell me you're gonna be okay.
999 01:06:38,775 01:06:39,842 911, what's your emergency? 911, what's your emergency?
1000 01:06:39,876 01:06:42,110 You have to send an ambulance to 1474 Main Street, You have to send an ambulance to 1474 Main Street,
1001 01:06:42,144 01:06:43,713 Apartment 1722 Cherio. Apartment 1722 Cherio.
1002 01:06:43,746 01:06:45,347 Please hurry up. Please hurry up.
1003 01:06:45,380 01:06:46,616 Just please state your emergency? Just please state your emergency?
1004 01:06:46,649 01:06:48,718 Yes, I'm currently on the phone with someone Yes, I'm currently on the phone with someone
1005 01:06:48,751 01:06:51,654 who I think is trying to kill themselves. who I think is trying to kill themselves.
1006 01:06:51,688 01:06:53,690 He took a lot of pills and he's been drinking He took a lot of pills and he's been drinking
1007 01:06:53,723 01:06:56,124 and he's not responding so please hurry. and he's not responding so please hurry.
1008 01:06:56,158 01:06:56,793 What's his name? What's his name?
1009 01:06:56,826 01:06:57,894 His name is Scott. His name is Scott.
1010 01:06:59,596 01:07:00,797 Scott Richardson. Scott Richardson.
1011 01:07:00,830 01:07:02,297 Okay, just repeat the address? Okay, just repeat the address?
1012 01:07:02,331 01:07:04,734 Yes, it's 1474 Main Street, Yes, it's 1474 Main Street,
1013 01:07:07,937 01:07:10,205 Apartment 1722 Cherry Hill. Apartment 1722 Cherry Hill.
1014 01:07:11,841 01:07:13,408 Please just hurry. Please just hurry.
1015 01:07:13,442 01:07:14,911 You don't understand. You don't understand.
1016 01:07:14,944 01:07:17,179 Are you on the phone with him right now? Are you on the phone with him right now?
1017 01:07:17,212 01:07:18,380 Yes, I'm currently on the phone Yes, I'm currently on the phone
1018 01:07:18,413 01:07:19,749 but he's not responding to me. but he's not responding to me.
1019 01:07:19,782 01:07:21,516 I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
1020 01:07:21,550 01:07:22,551 Please stay calm. Please stay calm.
1021 01:07:22,585 01:07:23,552 Help is on its way right now. Help is on its way right now.
1022 01:07:23,586 01:07:25,788 Yes, thank you. Yes, thank you.
1023 01:07:25,822 01:07:26,656 Scott? Scott?
1024 01:07:27,857 01:07:28,891 Scott? Scott?
1025 01:07:30,292 01:07:32,394 Scott, just talk to me. Scott, just talk to me.
1026 01:07:32,427 01:07:33,696 Just say something, okay. Just say something, okay.
1027 01:07:33,730 01:07:36,531 Tell me that you're gonna be okay. Tell me that you're gonna be okay.
1028 01:07:37,900 01:07:39,334 Say those words, Say those words,
1029 01:07:39,368 01:07:42,304 just tell me you're gonna be okay? just tell me you're gonna be okay?
1030 01:07:42,337 01:07:43,171 Scott? Scott?
1031 01:07:47,242 01:07:48,310 Scott? Scott?
1032 01:07:49,612 01:07:52,782 Scott, who are you talking to? Scott, who are you talking to?
1033 01:07:52,815 01:07:53,650 Scott? Scott?
1034 01:07:55,217 01:07:57,954 Scott, just say are you gonna be okay? Scott, just say are you gonna be okay?
1035 01:07:57,987 01:08:00,823 Scott, please don't do this to me. Scott, please don't do this to me.
1036 01:08:02,357 01:08:05,193 Please don't do this to me, Scott. Please don't do this to me, Scott.
1037 01:08:07,229 01:08:08,831 Scott, just think about Emily, Scott, just think about Emily,
1038 01:08:08,865 01:08:11,901 okay, she doesn't want you to go. okay, she doesn't want you to go.
1039 01:08:11,934 01:08:14,169 She doesn't want you to go. She doesn't want you to go.
1040 01:08:17,439 01:08:18,273 Scott? Scott?
1041 01:08:20,409 01:08:22,812 Scott, please don't go. Scott, please don't go.
1042 01:08:22,845 01:08:23,680 Scott? Scott?
1043 01:08:27,817 01:08:29,952 Scott, say something please? Scott, say something please?
1044 01:08:36,959 01:08:38,193 Scott. Scott.
1045 01:08:39,461 01:08:41,964 Scott, help is on the way, okay. Scott, help is on the way, okay.
1046 01:08:41,998 01:08:43,866 Help is on the way. Help is on the way.
1047 01:08:43,900 01:08:45,702 If you can hear me, If you can hear me,
1048 01:08:45,735 01:08:47,970 they're coming to help you. they're coming to help you.
1049 01:08:50,006 01:08:52,909 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
1050 01:08:52,942 01:08:54,944 I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
1051 01:08:59,314 01:08:59,949 Scott! Scott!
1052 01:09:04,053 01:09:06,823 Please, please, please, please. Please, please, please, please.
1053 01:09:10,960 01:09:11,794 Scott? Scott?
1054 01:09:15,031 01:09:15,865 Scott? Scott?
1055 01:09:20,002 01:09:21,904 Scott, answer the door. Scott, answer the door.
1056 01:09:23,472 01:09:24,907 Scott, go answer the door. Scott, go answer the door.
1057 01:09:24,941 01:09:26,308 Please, they're there to help you. Please, they're there to help you.
1058 01:09:26,341 01:09:28,243 Please answer the door. Please answer the door.
1059 01:09:39,088 01:09:41,824 Hello? Hello?
1060 01:09:41,858 01:09:44,627 Hello? Hello?
1061 01:09:44,660 01:09:45,494 Oh my God. Oh my God.
1062 01:09:50,565 01:09:51,399 Oh my God. Oh my God.
1063 01:09:53,770 01:09:55,537 Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
1064 01:10:09,752 01:10:14,757 Oh my God. Oh my God.
1065 01:10:50,860 01:10:51,661 Hello? Hello?
1066 01:10:53,562 01:10:55,031 Hi baby. Hi baby.
1067 01:10:55,064 01:10:55,865 No. No.
1068 01:10:57,099 01:10:58,466 No I'm not mad. No I'm not mad.
1069 01:10:59,434 01:11:00,736 No. No.
1070 01:11:00,770 01:11:02,437 Just happy you're home. Just happy you're home.
1071 01:11:06,042 01:11:08,110 I'm just happy you're home. I'm just happy you're home.
1072 01:11:11,047 01:11:12,081 Yeah. Yeah.
1073 01:11:13,515 01:11:16,384 I know, I'll be home soon okay baby. I know, I'll be home soon okay baby.
1074 01:11:16,418 01:11:17,053 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1075 01:11:18,988 01:11:19,889 Yeah, I love you. Yeah, I love you.
1076 01:11:22,424 01:11:24,727 Can you say it back to me, please? Can you say it back to me, please?
1077 01:11:32,434 01:11:34,402 Okay, I'll talk to you soon baby. Okay, I'll talk to you soon baby.
1078 01:11:36,739 01:11:37,572 Bye. Bye.
1079 01:12:47,607 01:12:52,607 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull