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#	Start	End	Original	Translated
1	00:00:33,301	00:00:34,632	'S wonderful	'S wonderful
2	00:00:35,637	00:00:37,764	'S marvelous	'S marvelous
3	00:00:38,974	00:00:41,272	You should care	You should care
4	00:00:41,309	00:00:42,640	For me	For me
5	00:00:44,479	00:00:46,947	'S awful nice	'S awful nice
6	00:00:46,982	00:00:49,951	'S paradise	'S paradise
7	00:00:49,985	00:00:52,613	'S what I love	'S what I love
8	00:00:52,654	00:00:55,214	To see	To see
9	00:00:55,257	00:00:57,350	You make	You make
10	00:00:57,392	00:01:01,294	My life so glamorous	My life so glamorous
11	00:01:01,329	00:01:05,663	You can't blame me for feeling amorous	You can't blame me for feeling amorous
12	00:01:06,668	00:01:09,660	Now, is this a bit of terrific, hmm?	Now, is this a bit of terrific, hmm?
13	00:01:11,006	00:01:15,466	Last night, she was banging on my door for 45 minutes...	Last night, she was banging on my door for 45 minutes...
14	00:01:15,510	00:01:16,534	but I wouldn't let her out.	but I wouldn't let her out.
15	00:01:25,387	00:01:27,878	'S wonderful	'S wonderful
16	00:01:27,923	00:01:31,154	'S marvelous	'S marvelous
17	00:01:31,193	00:01:38,361	That you should care for me	That you should care for me
18	00:01:43,538	00:01:45,506	Don't worry. I'll get the mail.	Don't worry. I'll get the mail.
19	00:01:45,540	00:01:46,837	I'll get it.	I'll get it.
20	00:01:46,875	00:01:49,503	Uh-oh. Speaking of my mo...	Uh-oh. Speaking of my mo...
21	00:01:49,544	00:01:50,806	I have an amazing mother.	I have an amazing mother.
22	00:01:50,846	00:01:55,010	You know, she's 85 years old, and she don't need glasses.	You know, she's 85 years old, and she don't need glasses.
23	00:01:55,050	00:01:56,108	She drinks right out of the bottle.	She drinks right out of the bottle.
24	00:01:58,053	00:01:59,748	She don't even open them anymore.	She don't even open them anymore.
25	00:01:59,788	00:02:01,119	She goes right through the label.	She goes right through the label.
26	00:02:03,992	00:02:05,459	Oh, and drinking?	Oh, and drinking?
27	00:02:05,494	00:02:07,462	My doctor said, "Stop drinking"...	My doctor said, "Stop drinking"...
28	00:02:07,496	00:02:09,555	so I'm not gonna drink anymore.	so I'm not gonna drink anymore.
29	00:02:09,598	00:02:12,965	I'm gonna freeze it now and eat it like a Popsicle.	I'm gonna freeze it now and eat it like a Popsicle.
30	00:02:17,439	00:02:19,964	'S wonderful	'S wonderful
31	00:02:20,008	00:02:22,977	'S marvelous	'S marvelous
32	00:02:23,011	00:02:25,479	You should care	You should care
33	00:02:25,514	00:02:26,481	For me	For me
34	00:02:26,515	00:02:27,982	2, 3, 4.	2, 3, 4.
35	00:02:28,016	00:02:30,985	'S awful nice	'S awful nice
36	00:02:31,019	00:02:33,487	'S paradise	'S paradise
37	00:02:33,522	00:02:36,320	'S what I love	'S what I love
38	00:02:36,358	00:02:37,985	To see	To see
39	00:02:38,026	00:02:39,994	I guess you all know this is my last night here.	I guess you all know this is my last night here.
40	00:02:40,028	00:02:41,495	Tomorrow morning I'm going to Hollywood...	Tomorrow morning I'm going to Hollywood...
41	00:02:41,530	00:02:42,656	and make a new picture...	and make a new picture...
42	00:02:42,697	00:02:45,291	me, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr...	me, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr...
43	00:02:45,333	00:02:46,891	and Joey Bishop...	and Joey Bishop...
44	00:02:46,935	00:02:48,368	called "Little Women."	called "Little Women."
45	00:02:50,038	00:02:52,006	But before that, I'm gonna do a TV special...	But before that, I'm gonna do a TV special...
46	00:02:52,040	00:02:53,507	with Mr. Bing Crosby.	with Mr. Bing Crosby.
47	00:02:53,542	00:02:55,601	Now, why Bing works so hard, I'll never know.	Now, why Bing works so hard, I'll never know.
48	00:02:55,644	00:02:58,010	He's got $21 million...	He's got $21 million...
49	00:02:58,046	00:02:59,638	on him.	on him.
50	00:03:10,091	00:03:12,059	My dear	My dear
51	00:03:12,093	00:03:15,722	It's four-leaf clover time	It's four-leaf clover time
52	00:03:15,764	00:03:19,598	From now on, my heart's working overtime	From now on, my heart's working overtime
53	00:03:21,603	00:03:23,036	I don't care who you are, fat man.	I don't care who you are, fat man.
54	00:03:23,071	00:03:24,902	You get them reindeers off my roof.	You get them reindeers off my roof.
55	00:03:27,075	00:03:29,737	'S wonderful	'S wonderful
56	00:03:29,778	00:03:32,576	'S marvelous	'S marvelous
57	00:03:32,614	00:03:34,741	That you should care	That you should care
58	00:03:34,783	00:03:39,618	For me	For me
59	00:03:40,622	00:03:42,089	Good night! Good night!	Good night! Good night!
60	00:03:42,123	00:03:43,954	See you next year!	See you next year!
61	00:03:48,296	00:03:49,923	Great, Dino. Only great.	Great, Dino. Only great.
62	00:03:49,965	00:03:51,830	They were rolling in the aisles.	They were rolling in the aisles.
63	00:03:51,866	00:03:54,164	Why didn't somebody take their dice away?	Why didn't somebody take their dice away?
64	00:03:55,470	00:03:56,494	Dino.	Dino.
65	00:03:56,538	00:03:57,505	Hmm?	Hmm?
66	00:03:57,539	00:03:59,370	Am I going to see you before you leave?	Am I going to see you before you leave?
67	00:03:59,407	00:04:00,931	Just one last nightcap?	Just one last nightcap?
68	00:04:00,976	00:04:02,034	You got it.	You got it.
69	00:04:02,077	00:04:04,068	I'll be in my room.	I'll be in my room.
70	00:04:04,112	00:04:05,579	Keep your hat on.	Keep your hat on.
71	00:04:07,582	00:04:09,049	What's her name? Mitzi?	What's her name? Mitzi?
72	00:04:09,084	00:04:10,551	No, no. Sylvia.	No, no. Sylvia.
73	00:04:10,585	00:04:11,677	Sylvia.	Sylvia.
74	00:04:11,720	00:04:13,711	This one is Mitzi.	This one is Mitzi.
75	00:04:13,755	00:04:14,722	Dino.	Dino.
76	00:04:14,756	00:04:15,723	Hmm?	Hmm?
77	00:04:15,757	00:04:17,725	Are we going to get together tonight?	Are we going to get together tonight?
78	00:04:17,759	00:04:19,852	Just one for the road, huh?	Just one for the road, huh?
79	00:04:19,894	00:04:20,883	It's a must.	It's a must.
80	00:04:20,929	00:04:22,988	My room later, OK?	My room later, OK?
81	00:04:23,999	00:04:25,967	This is beginning to look like Custer's last stand.	This is beginning to look like Custer's last stand.
82	00:04:26,001	00:04:26,968	Like what?	Like what?
83	00:04:27,002	00:04:28,970	Because it isn't just Sylvia and Mitzi.	Because it isn't just Sylvia and Mitzi.
84	00:04:29,004	00:04:30,335	There are all those other Indians.	There are all those other Indians.
85	00:04:30,372	00:04:31,737	You've got Janet in the dressing room...	You've got Janet in the dressing room...
86	00:04:31,773	00:04:33,172	Juicy Lucy up in your suite...	Juicy Lucy up in your suite...
87	00:04:33,208	00:04:34,175	and those German twins...	and those German twins...
88	00:04:34,209	00:04:35,437	waiting for you in the steam room.	waiting for you in the steam room.
89	00:04:35,477	00:04:36,603	That's the whole idea.	That's the whole idea.
90	00:04:36,645	00:04:38,977	Now that I got everybody stashed away, I can beat it.	Now that I got everybody stashed away, I can beat it.
91	00:04:39,014	00:04:40,982	So you pack my stuff and put it in the car.	So you pack my stuff and put it in the car.
92	00:04:41,016	00:04:42,278	You're going to leave just like that,	You're going to leave just like that,
93	00:04:42,317	00:04:43,614	without saying good-bye?	without saying good-bye?
94	00:04:43,652	00:04:44,983	Damn right, because if I start saying good-bye...	Damn right, because if I start saying good-bye...
95	00:04:45,020	00:04:45,987	to all these dames,	to all these dames,
96	00:04:46,021	00:04:48,546	you'll have to carry me out of here...	you'll have to carry me out of here...
97	00:04:48,590	00:04:52,390	what's left of me... in a cigar box...	what's left of me... in a cigar box...
98	00:04:52,427	00:04:53,689	baby.	baby.
99	00:05:35,103	00:05:36,570	What's the matter?	What's the matter?
100	00:05:36,604	00:05:38,435	That Sinatra kid missing again?	That Sinatra kid missing again?
101	00:05:38,473	00:05:40,441	We had a bad pileup down the highway.	We had a bad pileup down the highway.
102	00:05:40,475	00:05:42,568	You'll have to take the detour.	You'll have to take the detour.
103	00:05:42,610	00:05:43,907	Where does that lead to?	Where does that lead to?
104	00:05:43,945	00:05:47,381	You come out at Barstow, by way of Warm Springs...	You come out at Barstow, by way of Warm Springs...
105	00:05:47,415	00:05:50,248	Paradise Valley, and Climax.	Paradise Valley, and Climax.
106	00:05:50,285	00:05:51,775	That's the only way to go.	That's the only way to go.
107	00:06:37,332	00:06:38,299	Fill 'er up?	Fill 'er up?
108	00:06:38,333	00:06:40,858	Yeah. No, no. Over here.	Yeah. No, no. Over here.
109	00:06:47,342	00:06:49,674	Anything else?	Anything else?
110	00:06:49,711	00:06:51,144	No, thanks.	No, thanks.
111	00:06:53,882	00:06:56,612	Hey! You forgot your green stamps!	Hey! You forgot your green stamps!
112	00:07:03,124	00:07:04,216	Hi, Barney!	Hi, Barney!
113	00:07:49,904	00:07:55,237	Deedle, deedle, deedle	Deedle, deedle, deedle
114	00:07:55,276	00:07:57,938	Deedle, deedle, d...	Deedle, deedle, d...
115	00:07:57,979	00:07:59,412	No, no, Mulligan.	No, no, Mulligan.
116	00:07:59,447	00:08:01,745	You've got an extra deedle in there.	You've got an extra deedle in there.
117	00:08:01,783	00:08:03,751	It's six deedles, not seven.	It's six deedles, not seven.
118	00:08:03,785	00:08:06,754	Let's not monkey around with Beethoven, shall we?	Let's not monkey around with Beethoven, shall we?
119	00:08:06,788	00:08:08,722	Once more.	Once more.
120	00:08:11,759	00:08:12,726	Orville.	Orville.
121	00:08:12,760	00:08:14,227	Yes, dear?	Yes, dear?
122	00:08:14,262	00:08:15,559	What's the matter?	What's the matter?
123	00:08:18,766	00:08:21,257	Please, dear, not now.	Please, dear, not now.
124	00:09:15,023	00:09:17,253	Mulligan, not only do you have a tin ear...	Mulligan, not only do you have a tin ear...
125	00:09:17,292	00:09:18,418	you have lead fingers.	you have lead fingers.
126	00:09:18,459	00:09:20,324	Whoever told you to take up the piano?	Whoever told you to take up the piano?
127	00:09:20,361	00:09:21,760	You did, sir.	You did, sir.
128	00:09:21,796	00:09:24,196	Well, I need the money, but what's your excuse?	Well, I need the money, but what's your excuse?
129	00:09:24,232	00:09:26,996	It says here molto espressione...	It says here molto espressione...
130	00:09:27,035	00:09:29,094	which means with much expression...	which means with much expression...
131	00:09:29,137	00:09:31,697	with feeling, with heart.	with feeling, with heart.
132	00:09:54,762	00:09:56,889	From the top again.	From the top again.
133	00:10:26,394	00:10:29,124	A-natural!	A-natural!
134	00:10:32,900	00:10:34,197	Just a minute, you.	Just a minute, you.
135	00:10:34,235	00:10:35,202	Oh, hi there, Mr. Spooner.	Oh, hi there, Mr. Spooner.
136	00:10:35,236	00:10:36,225	Don't you "hi there" me.	Don't you "hi there" me.
137	00:10:36,270	00:10:38,966	I know your type, sneaking around to back doors.	I know your type, sneaking around to back doors.
138	00:10:39,007	00:10:40,497	All right, let's have it.	All right, let's have it.
139	00:10:40,541	00:10:41,667	Have what?	Have what?
140	00:10:41,709	00:10:42,676	That note my wife left you.	That note my wife left you.
141	00:10:42,710	00:10:45,270	You must think I'm blind or stupid or something.	You must think I'm blind or stupid or something.
142	00:10:45,313	00:10:47,440	Oh, yeah, the... sure. The note.	Oh, yeah, the... sure. The note.
143	00:10:47,482	00:10:50,144	She wanted, uh, two quarts of milk and a dozen eggs.	She wanted, uh, two quarts of milk and a dozen eggs.
144	00:10:50,184	00:10:53,950	A likely story.	A likely story.
145	00:10:53,988	00:10:57,651	"Two quarts of milk. One dozen eggs."	"Two quarts of milk. One dozen eggs."
146	00:10:57,692	00:10:58,954	What's it all about?	What's it all about?
147	00:10:58,993	00:11:00,392	I'll tell you what it's all about.	I'll tell you what it's all about.
148	00:11:00,428	00:11:01,656	It's about, um...	It's about, um...
149	00:11:01,696	00:11:02,720	buttermilk!	buttermilk!
150	00:11:02,764	00:11:03,958	And she forgot to order buttermilk.	And she forgot to order buttermilk.
151	00:11:03,998	00:11:04,965	She always forgets.	She always forgets.
152	00:11:04,999	00:11:06,990	She doesn't like buttermilk, but I like buttermilk.	She doesn't like buttermilk, but I like buttermilk.
153	00:11:07,035	00:11:08,400	There's nothing like buttermilk...	There's nothing like buttermilk...
154	00:11:08,436	00:11:10,961	especially if you have a lazy colon.	especially if you have a lazy colon.
155	00:11:11,005	00:11:12,370	Excuse me.	Excuse me.
156	00:11:33,294	00:11:34,693	No, no, no, Mulligan.	No, no, no, Mulligan.
157	00:11:34,729	00:11:36,458	Now you're leaving out a deedle.	Now you're leaving out a deedle.
158	00:11:36,497	00:11:38,522	There are six deedles, not five.	There are six deedles, not five.
159	00:11:38,566	00:11:40,056	Orville!	Orville!
160	00:11:46,841	00:11:48,775	Yes, lambchop?	Yes, lambchop?
161	00:11:48,810	00:11:51,005	Zip me up, will you, please?	Zip me up, will you, please?
162	00:11:51,045	00:11:52,012	Going somewhere?	Going somewhere?
163	00:11:52,046	00:11:53,308	Yes, and I'm late.	Yes, and I'm late.
164	00:11:53,347	00:11:54,746	I don't want to keep him waiting.	I don't want to keep him waiting.
165	00:11:54,782	00:11:57,444	Of course not. Him? Whom?	Of course not. Him? Whom?
166	00:11:57,485	00:11:58,611	The dentist.	The dentist.
167	00:11:58,653	00:12:00,143	Oh. You got a toothache?	Oh. You got a toothache?
168	00:12:00,188	00:12:01,621	No. Time to have my teeth cleaned.	No. Time to have my teeth cleaned.
169	00:12:01,656	00:12:02,816	You just had them cleaned.	You just had them cleaned.
170	00:12:02,857	00:12:04,154	I have to go in every three months.	I have to go in every three months.
171	00:12:04,192	00:12:07,252	Dr. Sheldrake says I have very tender gums.	Dr. Sheldrake says I have very tender gums.
172	00:12:07,295	00:12:09,855	Oh, he does, does he?	Oh, he does, does he?
173	00:12:09,897	00:12:11,125	Bye, darling.	Bye, darling.
174	00:12:11,165	00:12:12,632	Bye.	Bye.
175	00:12:12,667	00:12:13,998	Where did you get those flowers?	Where did you get those flowers?
176	00:12:14,035	00:12:15,696	They're from Johnnie.	They're from Johnnie.
177	00:12:17,105	00:12:19,164	I picked them myself.	I picked them myself.
178	00:12:19,207	00:12:20,538	Isn't he sweet?	Isn't he sweet?
179	00:12:20,575	00:12:21,769	Yes, isn't he?	Yes, isn't he?
180	00:12:21,809	00:12:23,640	Well, I'm off.	Well, I'm off.
181	00:12:23,678	00:12:25,509	See you, Johnnie.	See you, Johnnie.
182	00:13:06,087	00:13:08,180	How old are you, Mulligan?	How old are you, Mulligan?
183	00:13:08,222	00:13:10,452	Fourteen... going on fifteen.	Fourteen... going on fifteen.
184	00:13:14,595	00:13:16,688	Pretty big for your age, aren't you?	Pretty big for your age, aren't you?
185	00:13:16,731	00:13:18,562	That's what they tell me.	That's what they tell me.
186	00:13:24,806	00:13:26,671	You stay away from my wife, do you hear me?	You stay away from my wife, do you hear me?
187	00:13:26,707	00:13:27,674	What?	What?
188	00:13:27,708	00:13:29,232	Pussyfooting around behind my back!	Pussyfooting around behind my back!
189	00:13:29,277	00:13:31,302	Bringing flowers to a married woman!	Bringing flowers to a married woman!
190	00:13:31,345	00:13:32,903	Let go of me!	Let go of me!
191	00:13:40,788	00:13:42,722	You ought to be horsewhipped!	You ought to be horsewhipped!
192	00:13:47,261	00:13:50,230	And don't you ever come back here again...	And don't you ever come back here again...
193	00:13:51,232	00:13:52,290	you teenage wolf!	you teenage wolf!
194	00:13:54,001	00:13:56,367	You male Lolita!	You male Lolita!
195	00:13:57,572	00:13:58,732	Orville!	Orville!
196	00:13:59,807	00:14:01,468	Hey, you, Orville!	Hey, you, Orville!
197	00:14:11,819	00:14:15,482	Listen to this! I think I got it. I...	Listen to this! I think I got it. I...
198	00:14:15,523	00:14:18,253	Are you ready? I'm a poached egg.	Are you ready? I'm a poached egg.
199	00:14:18,292	00:14:19,259	You're a what?	You're a what?
200	00:14:19,293	00:14:20,453	I'm a poached egg.	I'm a poached egg.
201	00:14:20,494	00:14:22,155	That's it... the title of the song.	That's it... the title of the song.
202	00:14:22,196	00:14:23,163	What song?	What song?
203	00:14:23,197	00:14:24,221	The one you played me yesterday.	The one you played me yesterday.
204	00:14:25,933	00:14:26,922	Oh, that one.	Oh, that one.
205	00:14:26,968	00:14:27,957	I got the whole lyric worked out.	I got the whole lyric worked out.
206	00:14:28,002	00:14:28,969	You want to hear it?	You want to hear it?
207	00:14:29,003	00:14:29,970	Not now, Barney.	Not now, Barney.
208	00:14:30,004	00:14:30,971	I got other things on my mind.	I got other things on my mind.
209	00:14:31,005	00:14:31,972	Oh, come on. Come on.	Oh, come on. Come on.
210	00:14:32,006	00:14:32,973	I'm not in the mood.	I'm not in the mood.
211	00:14:33,007	00:14:34,565	It's a dilly, I'll tell you.	It's a dilly, I'll tell you.
212	00:14:34,609	00:14:36,634	Give me a pickup.	Give me a pickup.
213	00:14:39,847	00:14:41,872	I'm a poached egg	I'm a poached egg
214	00:14:41,916	00:14:43,349	Without a piece of toast	Without a piece of toast
215	00:14:43,384	00:14:45,614	Yorkshire pudding	Yorkshire pudding
216	00:14:45,653	00:14:46,950	Without a beef to roast	Without a beef to roast
217	00:14:46,988	00:14:48,979	I'm a haunted house	I'm a haunted house
218	00:14:49,023	00:14:51,014	That hasn't got a ghost	That hasn't got a ghost
219	00:14:51,058	00:14:53,219	When I'm without you	When I'm without you
220	00:14:53,261	00:14:54,387	Brilliant?	Brilliant?
221	00:14:55,396	00:14:57,387	I'm a mousetrap	I'm a mousetrap
222	00:14:57,431	00:14:58,898	Without a piece of cheese	Without a piece of cheese
223	00:14:58,933	00:15:00,992	I'm Vienna	I'm Vienna
224	00:15:01,035	00:15:02,502	Without the Viennese	Without the Viennese
225	00:15:02,536	00:15:04,663	I'm da Vinci	I'm da Vinci
226	00:15:04,705	00:15:06,605	Without the Mona Lis	Without the Mona Lis
227	00:15:06,641	00:15:07,869	When I'm...	When I'm...
228	00:15:07,909	00:15:09,570	Mona Lis?	Mona Lis?
229	00:15:09,610	00:15:11,510	That's what makes it...	That's what makes it...
230	00:15:11,545	00:15:13,035	the irregularity...	the irregularity...
231	00:15:13,080	00:15:16,447	that unexpected little twist.	that unexpected little twist.
232	00:15:16,484	00:15:18,475	Keep playing.	Keep playing.
233	00:15:18,519	00:15:20,384	It's ridiculous.	It's ridiculous.
234	00:15:20,421	00:15:21,445	What do you mean ridiculous?	What do you mean ridiculous?
235	00:15:21,489	00:15:23,821	I mean this whole songwriting business.	I mean this whole songwriting business.
236	00:15:23,858	00:15:25,883	What are we knocking ourselves out for?	What are we knocking ourselves out for?
237	00:15:25,927	00:15:26,951	We must have written fifty songs by now.	We must have written fifty songs by now.
238	00:15:26,994	00:15:27,961	Sixty-two.	Sixty-two.
239	00:15:27,995	00:15:29,826	And what's happened? Nothing.	And what's happened? Nothing.
240	00:15:29,864	00:15:31,024	We write them. I copy them.	We write them. I copy them.
241	00:15:31,065	00:15:32,692	We send them out to all the publishers...	We send them out to all the publishers...
242	00:15:32,733	00:15:34,860	and the record companies and the singers...	and the record companies and the singers...
243	00:15:34,902	00:15:36,426	Tony Bennett, Barbra Streisand...	Tony Bennett, Barbra Streisand...
244	00:15:36,470	00:15:38,335	Nat "King" Cole, the Four Freshmen.	Nat "King" Cole, the Four Freshmen.
245	00:15:38,372	00:15:40,169	And do we ever hear from any of them?	And do we ever hear from any of them?
246	00:15:40,207	00:15:41,970	No! They just steal the stamps...	No! They just steal the stamps...
247	00:15:42,009	00:15:44,375	from the return self-addressed envelopes.	from the return self-addressed envelopes.
248	00:15:44,412	00:15:46,437	Are we gonna go through that again?	Are we gonna go through that again?
249	00:15:46,480	00:15:47,777	Irving Berlin wrote a hundred songs...	Irving Berlin wrote a hundred songs...
250	00:15:47,815	00:15:50,409	before he hit it with "Alexander's Ragtime Band."	before he hit it with "Alexander's Ragtime Band."
251	00:15:50,451	00:15:53,386	And what about George Gershwin and Richard Rodgers?	And what about George Gershwin and Richard Rodgers?
252	00:15:53,421	00:15:54,547	But they were professionals...	But they were professionals...
253	00:15:54,588	00:15:58,251	and we're amateurs buried here in Climax, Nevada.	and we're amateurs buried here in Climax, Nevada.
254	00:15:58,292	00:16:00,351	Where do you think Cole Porter came from?	Where do you think Cole Porter came from?
255	00:16:00,394	00:16:01,884	Peru, Indiana.	Peru, Indiana.
256	00:16:01,929	00:16:04,056	Hank Mancini? Aliquippa, Pennsylvania.	Hank Mancini? Aliquippa, Pennsylvania.
257	00:16:04,098	00:16:06,396	Johnny Mercer? Savannah, Georgia.	Johnny Mercer? Savannah, Georgia.
258	00:16:06,434	00:16:09,733	And he only won four Academy Awards.	And he only won four Academy Awards.
259	00:16:09,770	00:16:11,965	So play!	So play!
260	00:16:14,942	00:16:16,910	I'm Las Vegas	I'm Las Vegas
261	00:16:16,944	00:16:18,377	Without a slot machine	Without a slot machine
262	00:16:18,412	00:16:20,471	I'm a gypsy	I'm a gypsy
263	00:16:20,514	00:16:21,947	Without a tambourine	Without a tambourine
264	00:16:21,983	00:16:23,951	I'm Napoleon	I'm Napoleon
265	00:16:23,985	00:16:25,748	Without a Josephine	Without a Josephine
266	00:16:25,786	00:16:28,084	When I'm without you	When I'm without you
267	00:16:28,122	00:16:31,182	Gets better all the time, huh?	Gets better all the time, huh?
268	00:16:31,225	00:16:33,250	I'm a doctor	I'm a doctor
269	00:16:33,294	00:16:34,727	Without a single pill	Without a single pill
270	00:16:34,762	00:16:36,787	I'm a lawyer	I'm a lawyer
271	00:16:36,831	00:16:38,321	Who never drew a will	Who never drew a will
272	00:16:38,366	00:16:39,993	I'm a dentist	I'm a dentist
273	00:16:40,034	00:16:42,195	Without a tooth to fill	Without a tooth to fill
274	00:16:42,236	00:16:43,294	When I'm...	When I'm...
275	00:16:47,008	00:16:48,942	Tender gums.	Tender gums.
276	00:16:48,976	00:16:52,173	That's a hell of a thing to say to a married woman.	That's a hell of a thing to say to a married woman.
277	00:16:52,213	00:16:54,807	Oh, what are you talking about?	Oh, what are you talking about?
278	00:16:54,849	00:16:56,146	It's that new dentist.	It's that new dentist.
279	00:16:56,183	00:16:57,650	I can't keep her away from the place.	I can't keep her away from the place.
280	00:16:57,685	00:16:59,585	She's there right now, in the chair.	She's there right now, in the chair.
281	00:16:59,620	00:17:02,180	He's tilting her all the way back.	He's tilting her all the way back.
282	00:17:02,223	00:17:03,952	He's giving her laughing gas.	He's giving her laughing gas.
283	00:17:03,991	00:17:06,152	She's laughing. He's laughing, too!	She's laughing. He's laughing, too!
284	00:17:06,193	00:17:07,990	They're both laughing... at me!	They're both laughing... at me!
285	00:17:08,029	00:17:08,996	Relax, will you, Orville?	Relax, will you, Orville?
286	00:17:09,030	00:17:10,190	You'll drive yourself crazy.	You'll drive yourself crazy.
287	00:17:10,231	00:17:11,391	Dr. Sheldrake.	Dr. Sheldrake.
288	00:17:11,432	00:17:12,456	Sheldrake.	Sheldrake.
289	00:17:12,500	00:17:13,831	Dr. Sheldrake. Dr. Sheldrake.	Dr. Sheldrake. Dr. Sheldrake.
290	00:17:13,868	00:17:14,857	Sheldrake.	Sheldrake.
291	00:17:16,103	00:17:18,503	Did you hear the one about the nearsighted turtle...	Did you hear the one about the nearsighted turtle...
292	00:17:18,539	00:17:20,336	who fell in love with a helmet?	who fell in love with a helmet?
293	00:17:25,780	00:17:28,510	Then there's the one about the nearsighted snake...	Then there's the one about the nearsighted snake...
294	00:17:28,549	00:17:30,210	who proposed to a piece of rope!	who proposed to a piece of rope!
295	00:17:34,255	00:17:35,722	Hello?	Hello?
296	00:17:35,756	00:17:37,383	This is Dr. Sheldrake.	This is Dr. Sheldrake.
297	00:17:37,425	00:17:39,154	I told you. Listen to them.	I told you. Listen to them.
298	00:17:42,296	00:17:43,763	I know what you're laughing at...	I know what you're laughing at...
299	00:17:43,798	00:17:44,765	you and my wife,	you and my wife,
300	00:17:44,799	00:17:47,359	and I'm going to report you to the Dental Association!	and I'm going to report you to the Dental Association!
301	00:17:47,401	00:17:50,131	Who is this?	Who is this?
302	00:17:50,171	00:17:51,468	This is the husband...	This is the husband...
303	00:17:51,505	00:17:52,597	and you're not kidding me for a second.	and you're not kidding me for a second.
304	00:17:52,640	00:17:54,870	I know what you're doing to her.	I know what you're doing to her.
305	00:17:54,909	00:17:58,037	I'm putting an inlay in her lower left bicuspid.	I'm putting an inlay in her lower left bicuspid.
306	00:17:58,079	00:18:01,105	I thought so. Let me talk to her.	I thought so. Let me talk to her.
307	00:18:01,148	00:18:03,412	Mrs. Mulligan, your husband on the phone.	Mrs. Mulligan, your husband on the phone.
308	00:18:03,451	00:18:04,418	Mrs. Mulligan?	Mrs. Mulligan?
309	00:18:04,452	00:18:05,544	I don't want to talk to Mrs. Mulligan.	I don't want to talk to Mrs. Mulligan.
310	00:18:05,586	00:18:07,554	I want to talk to Mrs. Spooner!	I want to talk to Mrs. Spooner!
311	00:18:07,588	00:18:09,749	Mrs. Spooner? She isn't here.	Mrs. Spooner? She isn't here.
312	00:18:09,790	00:18:11,883	Her appointment isn't till next Wednesday.	Her appointment isn't till next Wednesday.
313	00:18:11,926	00:18:13,757	Next Wednesday?	Next Wednesday?
314	00:18:13,794	00:18:16,456	Oh! I'll give her the message when she comes home.	Oh! I'll give her the message when she comes home.
315	00:18:16,497	00:18:19,694	You were right. I was worrying about nothing.	You were right. I was worrying about nothing.
316	00:18:19,733	00:18:21,257	She isn't even there.	She isn't even there.
317	00:18:21,302	00:18:22,735	You nut!	You nut!
318	00:18:25,372	00:18:27,431	I'm a bullfight	I'm a bullfight
319	00:18:27,475	00:18:28,874	Without a matador	Without a matador
320	00:18:28,909	00:18:30,934	I'm a heckler	I'm a heckler
321	00:18:30,978	00:18:32,445	Who never gets the floor	Who never gets the floor
322	00:18:32,480	00:18:34,345	Casanova	Casanova
323	00:18:34,381	00:18:36,178	The night he didn't score	The night he didn't score
324	00:18:36,217	00:18:37,206	Each time...	Each time...
325	00:18:38,853	00:18:41,219	Why isn't she there? Where is she?	Why isn't she there? Where is she?
326	00:18:41,255	00:18:42,222	Why was she lying to me?	Why was she lying to me?
327	00:18:42,256	00:18:44,087	Oh, for heaven's sakes, Orville.	Oh, for heaven's sakes, Orville.
328	00:18:44,125	00:18:45,717	It's Johnnie Mulligan, of course.	It's Johnnie Mulligan, of course.
329	00:18:45,759	00:18:47,386	His mother's at the dentist...	His mother's at the dentist...
330	00:18:47,428	00:18:49,396	he's at home alone, and she's with him!	he's at home alone, and she's with him!
331	00:18:49,430	00:18:52,797	Johnnie Mulligan? Come off it. He ain't even shaving yet.	Johnnie Mulligan? Come off it. He ain't even shaving yet.
332	00:18:56,737	00:19:00,673	The milkman! He's shaving. It must be some kind of code.	The milkman! He's shaving. It must be some kind of code.
333	00:19:00,708	00:19:02,938	A dozen eggs... that's twelve.	A dozen eggs... that's twelve.
334	00:19:02,977	00:19:05,411	They're meeting behind the dairy at 12:00.	They're meeting behind the dairy at 12:00.
335	00:19:05,446	00:19:07,141	Now you're running amok.	Now you're running amok.
336	00:19:07,181	00:19:09,149	You can't go around suspecting everybody.	You can't go around suspecting everybody.
337	00:19:11,118	00:19:13,177	Sometimes I'm not even so sure about you.	Sometimes I'm not even so sure about you.
338	00:19:13,220	00:19:14,312	Me?	Me?
339	00:19:14,355	00:19:16,255	I'm scared, Barney. I'll tell you, I'm scared.	I'm scared, Barney. I'll tell you, I'm scared.
340	00:19:16,290	00:19:17,882	I'm married to the prettiest girl in town...	I'm married to the prettiest girl in town...
341	00:19:17,925	00:19:19,153	and she's gonna leave me one of these days.	and she's gonna leave me one of these days.
342	00:19:19,193	00:19:20,160	I just know it.	I just know it.
343	00:19:20,194	00:19:21,422	- She will? - Yes, she will.	- She will? - Yes, she will.
344	00:19:21,462	00:19:23,430	And you know why? Because you're a nobody.	And you know why? Because you're a nobody.
345	00:19:23,464	00:19:25,432	Giving piano lessons for a buck and a quarter.	Giving piano lessons for a buck and a quarter.
346	00:19:25,466	00:19:28,128	Maybe once a week you play a wedding or a funeral.	Maybe once a week you play a wedding or a funeral.
347	00:19:28,169	00:19:29,500	Big deal.	Big deal.
348	00:19:29,537	00:19:32,438	Why, a beautiful girl like that, she should be spoiled.	Why, a beautiful girl like that, she should be spoiled.
349	00:19:32,473	00:19:34,532	A touch of mink, fun in Acapulco...	A touch of mink, fun in Acapulco...
350	00:19:34,575	00:19:35,701	breakfast at Tiffany's!	breakfast at Tiffany's!
351	00:19:35,743	00:19:36,971	Fat chance.	Fat chance.
352	00:19:37,011	00:19:39,946	Orville, all it takes is one hit, just one hit.	Orville, all it takes is one hit, just one hit.
353	00:19:39,980	00:19:41,413	"How Much is That Doggie in the Window?"...	"How Much is That Doggie in the Window?"...
354	00:19:41,448	00:19:42,437	three million records.	three million records.
355	00:19:42,483	00:19:45,247	"White Christmas"... eight million records.	"White Christmas"... eight million records.
356	00:19:45,286	00:19:48,016	You think Irving Berlin's afraid of losing his wife?	You think Irving Berlin's afraid of losing his wife?
357	00:19:48,055	00:19:49,022	No, I guess not.	No, I guess not.
358	00:19:49,056	00:19:50,148	That's why you got to keep	That's why you got to keep
359	00:19:50,191	00:19:51,988	putting those nickels in the slot.	putting those nickels in the slot.
360	00:19:52,026	00:19:54,824	Because you never know when you're gonna hit the jackpot.	Because you never know when you're gonna hit the jackpot.
361	00:19:54,862	00:19:57,524	Yeah. I guess so.	Yeah. I guess so.
362	00:19:57,565	00:19:59,726	Well, then, let's go.	Well, then, let's go.
363	00:20:02,369	00:20:04,098	I'm a poached egg	I'm a poached egg
364	00:20:04,138	00:20:05,503	Without a piece of toast	Without a piece of toast
365	00:20:05,539	00:20:07,302	Yorkshire pudding	Yorkshire pudding
366	00:20:07,341	00:20:08,831	Without a beef to roast	Without a beef to roast
367	00:20:08,876	00:20:10,673	I'm a haunted house	I'm a haunted house
368	00:20:10,711	00:20:12,201	That hasn't got a ghost	That hasn't got a ghost
369	00:20:12,246	00:20:14,737	When I'm without you	When I'm without you
370	00:20:20,621	00:20:21,588	I'm a mousetrap	I'm a mousetrap
371	00:20:21,622	00:20:23,920	Hey! Hey!	Hey! Hey!
372	00:20:23,958	00:20:25,425	I'm Vienna	I'm Vienna
373	00:20:25,459	00:20:26,448	Without the Viennese	Without the Viennese
374	00:20:26,493	00:20:27,619	I'm da Vinci	I'm da Vinci
375	00:20:28,629	00:20:30,096	Without the Mona Lis	Without the Mona Lis
376	00:20:30,130	00:20:31,722	When I'm without you	When I'm without you
377	00:20:31,765	00:20:33,460	You know, I'm beginning to like that Mona Lis.	You know, I'm beginning to like that Mona Lis.
378	00:20:33,500	00:20:34,626	What did I tell you?	What did I tell you?
379	00:20:37,471	00:20:40,804	Aw, hold it, mister! I'm coming.	Aw, hold it, mister! I'm coming.
380	00:20:40,841	00:20:42,741	Stay with it, will you?	Stay with it, will you?
381	00:20:51,385	00:20:52,511	What'll it be?	What'll it be?
382	00:20:52,553	00:20:56,387	A shave and a haircut. The works, baby.	A shave and a haircut. The works, baby.
383	00:21:13,507	00:21:14,496	Hey.	Hey.
384	00:21:15,509	00:21:16,476	What's the matter?	What's the matter?
385	00:21:16,510	00:21:17,534	You know who you are?	You know who you are?
386	00:21:17,578	00:21:19,978	Sure. I'm the greatest. I'm the prettiest.	Sure. I'm the greatest. I'm the prettiest.
387	00:21:20,014	00:21:22,073	Y-y...	Y-y...
388	00:21:22,116	00:21:23,947	What do you do for cigarettes around here, huh?	What do you do for cigarettes around here, huh?
389	00:21:23,984	00:21:26,885	- Cigarettes? - Yeah.	- Cigarettes? - Yeah.
390	00:21:26,920	00:21:28,285	Hmm.	Hmm.
391	00:21:32,159	00:21:33,922	Or...	Or...
392	00:21:33,961	00:21:35,258	Orville!	Orville!
393	00:21:35,296	00:21:37,594	Hey, Orville!	Hey, Orville!
394	00:21:42,169	00:21:44,137	Come here quick!	Come here quick!
395	00:21:45,906	00:21:47,533	You know, I've been here for five years...	You know, I've been here for five years...
396	00:21:47,574	00:21:49,633	but this is the first time that anybody...	but this is the first time that anybody...
397	00:21:49,677	00:21:50,837	oh, sure, back in '61...	oh, sure, back in '61...
398	00:21:50,878	00:21:52,937	Liberace pulled in here with a flat tire...	Liberace pulled in here with a flat tire...
399	00:21:52,980	00:21:57,246	but we never had anybody that's somebody like you.	but we never had anybody that's somebody like you.
400	00:21:57,284	00:21:58,911	Where's the men's room?	Where's the men's room?
401	00:22:01,088	00:22:02,055	Oh.	Oh.
402	00:22:02,089	00:22:03,283	Wait a minute.	Wait a minute.
403	00:22:03,324	00:22:04,916	I want you to meet a friend of mine.	I want you to meet a friend of mine.
404	00:22:04,958	00:22:06,448	Orville, look who we got here!	Orville, look who we got here!
405	00:22:06,493	00:22:07,960	Who?	Who?
406	00:22:07,995	00:22:10,190	It's Dino!	It's Dino!
407	00:22:10,230	00:22:12,460	Oh! How do you do?	Oh! How do you do?
408	00:22:12,499	00:22:13,466	This is Orville Spooner.	This is Orville Spooner.
409	00:22:13,500	00:22:16,094	He plays the piano and the organ at the church.	He plays the piano and the organ at the church.
410	00:22:16,136	00:22:17,865	Oh, he's a terrific musician.	Oh, he's a terrific musician.
411	00:22:17,905	00:22:18,872	Well...	Well...
412	00:22:18,906	00:22:19,873	the face is familiar.	the face is familiar.
413	00:22:19,907	00:22:21,067	Oh?	Oh?
414	00:22:21,108	00:22:22,632	Not yours, his.	Not yours, his.
415	00:22:22,676	00:22:23,836	Oh.	Oh.
416	00:22:23,877	00:22:26,209	OK if I go to the john now?	OK if I go to the john now?
417	00:22:30,917	00:22:33,886	Orville, this is it. This is our jackpot.	Orville, this is it. This is our jackpot.
418	00:22:33,920	00:22:36,548	Remember "That's Amore"?.. top single for 37 weeks.	Remember "That's Amore"?.. top single for 37 weeks.
419	00:22:36,590	00:22:37,887	Or "Memories are Made of This"?..	Or "Memories are Made of This"?..
420	00:22:37,924	00:22:40,154	over two million copies!	over two million copies!
421	00:22:40,193	00:22:42,525	And he's got his own recording company.	And he's got his own recording company.
422	00:22:42,562	00:22:44,325	I'll run over and get some of our songs!	I'll run over and get some of our songs!
423	00:22:44,364	00:22:45,763	No, no, no. That's not the way to do it.	No, no, no. That's not the way to do it.
424	00:22:45,799	00:22:47,323	You got to be more subtle.	You got to be more subtle.
425	00:22:47,367	00:22:48,891	Subtle?	Subtle?
426	00:22:48,935	00:22:51,267	Just start singing him one of our tunes, casual-like.	Just start singing him one of our tunes, casual-like.
427	00:22:51,304	00:22:52,999	Or hum a little. Catch his ear.	Or hum a little. Catch his ear.
428	00:22:53,039	00:22:54,028	I see.	I see.
429	00:22:54,074	00:22:56,406	What are you waiting for? Go!	What are you waiting for? Go!
430	00:23:07,220	00:23:08,778	I'm a poached egg	I'm a poached egg
431	00:23:08,822	00:23:10,380	Without a piece of toast	Without a piece of toast
432	00:23:10,423	00:23:11,754	Yorkshire pudding	Yorkshire pudding
433	00:23:11,791	00:23:13,224	Without a beef to roast	Without a beef to roast
434	00:23:13,260	00:23:15,023	I'm a haunted house	I'm a haunted house
435	00:23:15,061	00:23:16,585	That hasn't got a ghost	That hasn't got a ghost
436	00:23:16,630	00:23:18,996	When I'm without you	When I'm without you
437	00:23:32,712	00:23:34,407	I'm a western	I'm a western
438	00:23:34,447	00:23:36,347	Without a hitching post	Without a hitching post
439	00:23:36,383	00:23:39,409	There's paper towels in the ladies' room.	There's paper towels in the ladies' room.
440	00:23:55,802	00:23:57,565	I'm a mousetrap	I'm a mousetrap
441	00:23:57,604	00:23:59,003	Without a piece of cheese	Without a piece of cheese
442	00:23:59,039	00:24:00,631	I'm da Vinci	I'm da Vinci
443	00:24:00,674	00:24:02,266	Without the Mona Lis	Without the Mona Lis
444	00:24:02,309	00:24:04,402	Mona Lis?	Mona Lis?
445	00:24:12,685	00:24:13,982	I'm Las Vegas	I'm Las Vegas
446	00:24:14,020	00:24:15,282	Without a slot machine	Without a slot machine
447	00:24:15,321	00:24:16,720	I'm Napoleon	I'm Napoleon
448	00:24:16,756	00:24:18,417	Without a Josephine	Without a Josephine
449	00:24:18,458	00:24:19,516	What's with him?	What's with him?
450	00:24:19,559	00:24:21,390	Catchy tune, isn't it? We wrote it together.	Catchy tune, isn't it? We wrote it together.
451	00:24:21,427	00:24:22,689	- No. - Yeah.	- No. - Yeah.
452	00:24:22,728	00:24:24,195	We're gonna call it "I'm a Poached Egg."	We're gonna call it "I'm a Poached Egg."
453	00:24:24,230	00:24:28,564	I'm a poached... cuckoo. How much do I owe you?	I'm a poached... cuckoo. How much do I owe you?
454	00:24:28,601	00:24:30,694	$5.15. Too bad you're in such a hurry...	$5.15. Too bad you're in such a hurry...
455	00:24:30,736	00:24:32,704	because if we had just a little more time...	because if we had just a little more time...
456	00:24:32,738	00:24:34,205	Here you are.	Here you are.
457	00:24:34,240	00:24:37,835	100? Oh, I can't change this. I'll have to run to the bank.	100? Oh, I can't change this. I'll have to run to the bank.
458	00:24:37,877	00:24:39,538	Why don't you have a cup of coffee with Orville?	Why don't you have a cup of coffee with Orville?
459	00:24:39,579	00:24:40,546	Get acquainted.	Get acquainted.
460	00:24:40,580	00:24:41,604	We've got a lot of songs...	We've got a lot of songs...
461	00:24:41,647	00:24:44,047	and they really sound better on the piano.	and they really sound better on the piano.
462	00:24:44,083	00:24:45,277	Uh, just a minute.	Uh, just a minute.
463	00:24:45,318	00:24:47,218	Here, here. Here's $10.	Here, here. Here's $10.
464	00:24:47,253	00:24:48,914	Keep the change.	Keep the change.
465	00:24:50,756	00:24:51,848	Oh, wait!	Oh, wait!
466	00:24:51,891	00:24:54,519	I forgot to check the oil.	I forgot to check the oil.
467	00:24:54,560	00:24:57,120	You know, uh, "I Left My Heart in San Francisco?"	You know, uh, "I Left My Heart in San Francisco?"
468	00:24:57,163	00:24:58,255	Big hit, right?	Big hit, right?
469	00:24:58,297	00:24:59,264	They stole it from us.	They stole it from us.
470	00:24:59,298	00:25:00,196	Is that so?	Is that so?
471	00:25:00,233	00:25:01,700	We wrote it first, only it was called...	We wrote it first, only it was called...
472	00:25:01,734	00:25:03,326	"I Left My Heart in San Diego."	"I Left My Heart in San Diego."
473	00:25:03,369	00:25:05,803	Exactly the same idea.	Exactly the same idea.
474	00:25:05,838	00:25:07,897	We just missed by a few miles.	We just missed by a few miles.
475	00:25:10,943	00:25:12,467	All set.	All set.
476	00:25:12,512	00:25:14,480	We also have an Italian-type song...	We also have an Italian-type song...
477	00:25:14,514	00:25:16,004	like "Volare," only better.	like "Volare," only better.
478	00:25:16,048	00:25:17,743	It would be just perfect for you.	It would be just perfect for you.
479	00:25:17,783	00:25:18,750	Shove it in an envelope...	Shove it in an envelope...
480	00:25:18,784	00:25:20,479	and send it to my office in Hollywood.	and send it to my office in Hollywood.
481	00:25:21,487	00:25:23,318	Oh, no. All you guys want to do...	Oh, no. All you guys want to do...
482	00:25:23,356	00:25:26,348	is steal those return stamps!	is steal those return stamps!
483	00:25:26,392	00:25:31,227	Aww, the hell with him. He sings flat anyway.	Aww, the hell with him. He sings flat anyway.
484	00:25:31,264	00:25:33,630	Flat, sharp, or round... he sells, doesn't he?	Flat, sharp, or round... he sells, doesn't he?
485	00:25:33,666	00:25:35,463	Yeah. I guess we muffed it.	Yeah. I guess we muffed it.
486	00:25:35,501	00:25:38,299	Who knows when we'll get a chance like this again?	Who knows when we'll get a chance like this again?
487	00:25:38,337	00:25:40,771	Oh, I'd say in about three minutes.	Oh, I'd say in about three minutes.
488	00:25:40,806	00:25:41,773	Three minutes?	Three minutes?
489	00:25:41,807	00:25:43,240	I disconnected his fuel line.	I disconnected his fuel line.
490	00:25:43,276	00:25:44,265	He's got enough gas in the carburetor...	He's got enough gas in the carburetor...
491	00:25:44,310	00:25:47,143	to go a couple blocks.	to go a couple blocks.
492	00:25:47,179	00:25:48,146	Cuckoo!	Cuckoo!
493	00:25:48,180	00:25:49,147	Yeah. Right now he's stalled...	Yeah. Right now he's stalled...
494	00:25:49,181	00:25:50,739	on the corner of Citrus and Yucca.	on the corner of Citrus and Yucca.
495	00:25:50,783	00:25:52,341	He's going into Pringle's hardware store.	He's going into Pringle's hardware store.
496	00:25:52,385	00:25:54,410	He's asking if he could use the phone.	He's asking if he could use the phone.
497	00:25:54,453	00:25:57,889	We should be hearing from him in about ten seconds.	We should be hearing from him in about ten seconds.
498	00:25:57,924	00:26:02,293	Five, four, three, two, one.	Five, four, three, two, one.
499	00:26:03,896	00:26:06,194	You answer it. I'll get the tow truck.	You answer it. I'll get the tow truck.
500	00:26:12,338	00:26:14,431	Barney's Service Station.	Barney's Service Station.
501	00:26:14,473	00:26:19,433	Oh, hello there. Of course I remember you.	Oh, hello there. Of course I remember you.
502	00:26:19,478	00:26:21,605	What seems to be the trouble?	What seems to be the trouble?
503	00:26:52,912	00:26:55,039	What is this, a gag or something?	What is this, a gag or something?
504	00:26:55,081	00:26:56,605	A gag?	A gag?
505	00:26:56,649	00:26:58,480	You're sure you didn't mess around with that motor?	You're sure you didn't mess around with that motor?
506	00:26:58,517	00:27:00,485	That's a terrible thing to say.	That's a terrible thing to say.
507	00:27:00,519	00:27:02,714	Well, what's wrong with it?	Well, what's wrong with it?
508	00:27:02,755	00:27:05,781	Look. If this is your attitude, I'm not even gonna tell you.	Look. If this is your attitude, I'm not even gonna tell you.
509	00:27:05,825	00:27:07,520	He's a factory-trained mechanic.	He's a factory-trained mechanic.
510	00:27:07,560	00:27:09,528	That's like being a doctor. You got to take an oath.	That's like being a doctor. You got to take an oath.
511	00:27:09,562	00:27:11,496	All right, doc, what's the word?	All right, doc, what's the word?
512	00:27:13,366	00:27:14,856	You know anything about cars?	You know anything about cars?
513	00:27:14,900	00:27:18,996	Me? I need a copilot to turn on the windshield wiper.	Me? I need a copilot to turn on the windshield wiper.
514	00:27:19,038	00:27:20,062	The left intake valve is cracked...	The left intake valve is cracked...
515	00:27:20,106	00:27:22,233	on account of that double camshaft...	on account of that double camshaft...
516	00:27:22,274	00:27:24,242	because of the internal combustion.	because of the internal combustion.
517	00:27:24,276	00:27:25,402	That bad?	That bad?
518	00:27:25,444	00:27:28,345	It happens once in a while. You know these Italian cars.	It happens once in a while. You know these Italian cars.
519	00:27:28,381	00:27:29,939	Well, don't stand there talking to each other.	Well, don't stand there talking to each other.
520	00:27:29,982	00:27:32,314	Fix it!	Fix it!
521	00:27:32,351	00:27:33,943	"Fix it," he says.	"Fix it," he says.
522	00:27:35,054	00:27:37,045	I have to send to L.A. For a new part...	I have to send to L.A. For a new part...
523	00:27:37,089	00:27:38,147	and if they don't have it, it has to come...	and if they don't have it, it has to come...
524	00:27:38,190	00:27:39,589	from the distributor in New York...	from the distributor in New York...
525	00:27:39,625	00:27:40,683	and if he doesn't have it...	and if he doesn't have it...
526	00:27:40,726	00:27:43,490	it has to come from the factory in Milan.	it has to come from the factory in Milan.
527	00:27:43,529	00:27:44,496	Milan?	Milan?
528	00:27:44,530	00:27:46,259	That's ridiculous. He's a busy man.	That's ridiculous. He's a busy man.
529	00:27:46,298	00:27:47,390	You bet I am.	You bet I am.
530	00:27:47,433	00:27:49,333	I got to get back and do a television special.	I got to get back and do a television special.
531	00:27:49,868	00:27:51,563	Oh, really? What channel?	Oh, really? What channel?
532	00:27:51,603	00:27:53,161	What the hell difference does it make?	What the hell difference does it make?
533	00:27:53,205	00:27:54,297	I want to watch it.	I want to watch it.
534	00:27:54,339	00:27:55,306	Well, we'll watch it together...	Well, we'll watch it together...
535	00:27:55,340	00:27:56,773	because I'll probably still be here.	because I'll probably still be here.
536	00:27:56,808	00:28:00,244	Quiet, will you? Let me think.	Quiet, will you? Let me think.
537	00:28:00,279	00:28:01,746	What I could do is take a valve...	What I could do is take a valve...
538	00:28:01,780	00:28:04,408	from that old Chevy and grind it down to fit.	from that old Chevy and grind it down to fit.
539	00:28:04,449	00:28:05,916	That should get you to Hollywood.	That should get you to Hollywood.
540	00:28:05,951	00:28:07,043	He knows his business.	He knows his business.
541	00:28:07,085	00:28:08,245	And how long will that take?	And how long will that take?
542	00:28:08,287	00:28:09,481	Well, if I work all night...	Well, if I work all night...
543	00:28:09,521	00:28:11,614	I can have it for you first thing in the morning.	I can have it for you first thing in the morning.
544	00:28:11,657	00:28:13,284	You mean I got to spend the night in this dump?	You mean I got to spend the night in this dump?
545	00:28:13,325	00:28:15,316	They just opened a brand-new motel here.	They just opened a brand-new motel here.
546	00:28:15,360	00:28:17,260	He wouldn't like it. It stinks.	He wouldn't like it. It stinks.
547	00:28:17,296	00:28:18,263	How can you say that?	How can you say that?
548	00:28:18,297	00:28:20,288	It's got all the modern conveniences.	It's got all the modern conveniences.
549	00:28:20,332	00:28:21,299	Didn't you hear what happened?	Didn't you hear what happened?
550	00:28:21,333	00:28:22,300	A skunk got into the air conditioning.	A skunk got into the air conditioning.
551	00:28:22,334	00:28:23,392	I don't care where I sleep.	I don't care where I sleep.
552	00:28:23,435	00:28:25,369	Just find me an empty pool table.	Just find me an empty pool table.
553	00:28:25,404	00:28:26,871	I'm sure Mr. Spooner would be glad...	I'm sure Mr. Spooner would be glad...
554	00:28:26,905	00:28:28,099	to put you up for the night.	to put you up for the night.
555	00:28:28,140	00:28:29,334	Wouldn't you, Orville?	Wouldn't you, Orville?
556	00:28:29,374	00:28:31,865	Me? Oh, of course I would.	Me? Oh, of course I would.
557	00:28:31,910	00:28:33,207	He's got a spare room...	He's got a spare room...
558	00:28:33,245	00:28:35,304	and it's right across the street.	and it's right across the street.
559	00:28:35,347	00:28:38,282	His wife... oh, his wife's a great cook.	His wife... oh, his wife's a great cook.
560	00:28:38,317	00:28:39,477	I get the scene.	I get the scene.
561	00:28:39,518	00:28:40,746	This way.	This way.
562	00:28:40,786	00:28:42,651	No, not you. You stay here...	No, not you. You stay here...
563	00:28:42,688	00:28:45,384	and start grinding that little grabber.	and start grinding that little grabber.
564	00:28:45,424	00:28:47,187	Come on. Let's go.	Come on. Let's go.
565	00:28:54,299	00:28:56,358	Tell me, since we're both in the same racket...	Tell me, since we're both in the same racket...
566	00:28:56,401	00:28:57,663	Tin Pan Alley...	Tin Pan Alley...
567	00:28:57,703	00:29:00,831	don't you think that rock'n'roll is on the way out?	don't you think that rock'n'roll is on the way out?
568	00:29:00,872	00:29:02,863	They're just not writing them the way they used to...	They're just not writing them the way they used to...
569	00:29:02,908	00:29:04,899	I mean those evergreens like "Star Dust"	I mean those evergreens like "Star Dust"
570	00:29:04,943	00:29:06,274	and "Melancholy Baby."	and "Melancholy Baby."
571	00:29:06,311	00:29:08,211	Look, let's cut out all the small talk.	Look, let's cut out all the small talk.
572	00:29:08,247	00:29:09,373	I'm bushed.	I'm bushed.
573	00:29:11,250	00:29:12,410	It's real quiet here.	It's real quiet here.
574	00:29:12,451	00:29:13,918	You can take a nice long nap...	You can take a nice long nap...
575	00:29:13,952	00:29:16,420	then we'll have some dinner, and afterwards...	then we'll have some dinner, and afterwards...
576	00:29:16,455	00:29:18,946	we can sit around the piano and sing some songs.	we can sit around the piano and sing some songs.
577	00:29:18,991	00:29:20,481	Is that the only action in this town?	Is that the only action in this town?
578	00:29:20,525	00:29:22,015	Oh, no. There's a bowling alley.	Oh, no. There's a bowling alley.
579	00:29:22,060	00:29:24,153	Or you can stand outside Pringle's hardware store...	Or you can stand outside Pringle's hardware store...
580	00:29:24,196	00:29:26,255	and watch color television in the window.	and watch color television in the window.
581	00:29:26,298	00:29:27,492	Hey, you're not reading me right, pal.	Hey, you're not reading me right, pal.
582	00:29:27,532	00:29:29,329	What's with the broads around here?	What's with the broads around here?
583	00:29:29,368	00:29:32,337	Broads? Oh, you mean action action.	Broads? Oh, you mean action action.
584	00:29:32,371	00:29:34,896	Yeah. It's a habit with me, like breathing.	Yeah. It's a habit with me, like breathing.
585	00:29:34,940	00:29:36,737	I should have known from the gossip columns.	I should have known from the gossip columns.
586	00:29:36,775	00:29:38,174	Well, it's not that I like to.	Well, it's not that I like to.
587	00:29:38,210	00:29:40,371	You see, I have to because if I skip one night...	You see, I have to because if I skip one night...
588	00:29:40,412	00:29:42,437	I wake up the next morning with such a headache.	I wake up the next morning with such a headache.
589	00:29:42,481	00:29:44,176	Oh.	Oh.
590	00:29:44,216	00:29:46,514	No, no. This is our bedroom.	No, no. This is our bedroom.
591	00:29:46,551	00:29:48,178	You're in there.	You're in there.
592	00:29:55,260	00:29:56,454	This is it...	This is it...
593	00:29:56,495	00:29:59,487	a sort of a combination sewing room and guest room.	a sort of a combination sewing room and guest room.
594	00:30:02,534	00:30:04,229	You ought to have this tuned.	You ought to have this tuned.
595	00:30:04,269	00:30:05,429	Tuned?	Tuned?
596	00:30:06,271	00:30:08,000	About your problem... you know...	About your problem... you know...
597	00:30:08,040	00:30:09,473	that headache you were talking about...	that headache you were talking about...
598	00:30:09,508	00:30:12,136	maybe you ought to try the Belly Button.	maybe you ought to try the Belly Button.
599	00:30:12,177	00:30:13,166	The what?	The what?
600	00:30:13,211	00:30:15,702	There's this roadhouse just outside town...	There's this roadhouse just outside town...
601	00:30:15,747	00:30:16,805	called the Belly Button.	called the Belly Button.
602	00:30:16,848	00:30:19,043	They've got these cocktail waitresses.	They've got these cocktail waitresses.
603	00:30:19,084	00:30:20,108	They're very friendly.	They're very friendly.
604	00:30:20,152	00:30:22,143	At least, that's what I hear. I've never been there myself.	At least, that's what I hear. I've never been there myself.
605	00:30:22,187	00:30:23,711	After all, I'm a married man.	After all, I'm a married man.
606	00:30:26,325	00:30:27,314	This your wife?	This your wife?
607	00:30:27,359	00:30:28,792	Yes, sir. Her name is lambchop.	Yes, sir. Her name is lambchop.
608	00:30:28,827	00:30:31,489	It's really Zelda. I call her lambchop.	It's really Zelda. I call her lambchop.
609	00:30:31,530	00:30:32,656	How about that?	How about that?
610	00:30:32,698	00:30:35,360	She sews and she knits and she puts up preserves.	She sews and she knits and she puts up preserves.
611	00:30:35,400	00:30:38,267	And she grows her own parsley.	And she grows her own parsley.
612	00:30:38,303	00:30:39,668	Must be a great girl all around.	Must be a great girl all around.
613	00:30:39,705	00:30:41,832	Oh, she is.	Oh, she is.
614	00:30:41,873	00:30:44,364	You lucky dog!	You lucky dog!
615	00:30:50,482	00:30:52,245	Well, I guess you're all set here.	Well, I guess you're all set here.
616	00:30:52,284	00:30:53,512	You know where everything is.	You know where everything is.
617	00:30:53,552	00:30:56,146	It takes a few minutes for the hot water to get hot.	It takes a few minutes for the hot water to get hot.
618	00:30:56,188	00:30:59,589	And if there's anything else you want...	And if there's anything else you want...
619	00:30:59,624	00:31:00,989	bye now.	bye now.
620	00:31:26,151	00:31:27,118	Oh, hello, darling.	Oh, hello, darling.
621	00:31:27,152	00:31:28,414	Hello.	Hello.
622	00:31:28,453	00:31:29,715	Sorry I'm late.	Sorry I'm late.
623	00:31:29,755	00:31:33,452	Dr. Sheldrake sends you his regards.	Dr. Sheldrake sends you his regards.
624	00:31:33,492	00:31:35,289	That's nice.	That's nice.
625	00:31:35,327	00:31:36,294	How'd it go there?	How'd it go there?
626	00:31:36,328	00:31:38,091	- Where? - At the dentist.	- Where? - At the dentist.
627	00:31:38,130	00:31:39,290	Oh, fine. Fine.	Oh, fine. Fine.
628	00:31:39,331	00:31:40,298	Did he hurt you?	Did he hurt you?
629	00:31:40,332	00:31:43,199	No. But he thinks he'll have to pull my wisdom tooth.	No. But he thinks he'll have to pull my wisdom tooth.
630	00:31:45,404	00:31:46,996	You're lying, Zelda.	You're lying, Zelda.
631	00:31:47,038	00:31:48,369	Well, maybe he can save it.	Well, maybe he can save it.
632	00:31:48,407	00:31:49,999	You weren't at the dentist at all.	You weren't at the dentist at all.
633	00:31:50,041	00:31:52,009	Your appointment isn't till next Tuesday.	Your appointment isn't till next Tuesday.
634	00:31:52,043	00:31:53,010	It's next Wednesday.	It's next Wednesday.
635	00:31:53,044	00:31:54,511	So where were you today?	So where were you today?
636	00:31:54,546	00:31:56,537	If you must know, I was at my mother's.	If you must know, I was at my mother's.
637	00:31:56,581	00:31:57,605	On a Saturday?	On a Saturday?
638	00:31:57,649	00:31:59,344	Isn't that when she works at the blood bank?	Isn't that when she works at the blood bank?
639	00:31:59,384	00:32:01,352	Orville, I'm not going to answer any more questions.	Orville, I'm not going to answer any more questions.
640	00:32:01,386	00:32:03,047	You haven't answered any so far.	You haven't answered any so far.
641	00:32:03,088	00:32:04,953	I'm sick and tired of you spying on me...	I'm sick and tired of you spying on me...
642	00:32:04,990	00:32:06,014	and cross-examining me...	and cross-examining me...
643	00:32:06,057	00:32:07,684	and checking the mileage on my car.	and checking the mileage on my car.
644	00:32:07,726	00:32:09,387	Don't change the subject.	Don't change the subject.
645	00:32:09,428	00:32:10,554	I have myself vaccinated...	I have myself vaccinated...
646	00:32:10,595	00:32:12,187	and right away you want to know who bit me.	and right away you want to know who bit me.
647	00:32:12,230	00:32:14,027	All right, who bit you?	All right, who bit you?
648	00:32:14,065	00:32:18,263	I mean, where were you? And what's in that box?	I mean, where were you? And what's in that box?
649	00:32:19,271	00:32:20,670	You really want me to tell you?	You really want me to tell you?
650	00:32:20,705	00:32:22,696	Yes.	Yes.
651	00:32:22,741	00:32:24,538	It's a present for my lover.	It's a present for my lover.
652	00:32:24,576	00:32:27,306	Oh! Oh, it is, huh?	Oh! Oh, it is, huh?
653	00:32:40,692	00:32:42,284	It's today?	It's today?
654	00:32:42,327	00:32:43,988	September 30th.	September 30th.
655	00:32:44,029	00:32:46,793	I thought it was the 31st.	I thought it was the 31st.
656	00:32:46,832	00:32:49,562	It was going to be a surprise, and now you've spoiled it.	It was going to be a surprise, and now you've spoiled it.
657	00:32:49,601	00:32:52,468	I'm sorry, darling. I guess I'm a monster.	I'm sorry, darling. I guess I'm a monster.
658	00:32:52,504	00:32:53,630	Yes, you are.	Yes, you are.
659	00:32:53,672	00:32:55,162	I don't know why you put up with me.	I don't know why you put up with me.
660	00:32:55,207	00:32:56,174	I don't, either.	I don't, either.
661	00:32:56,208	00:32:58,233	Talk about mental cruelty.	Talk about mental cruelty.
662	00:32:58,276	00:32:59,243	Jealousy.	Jealousy.
663	00:32:59,277	00:33:03,145	Suspicion, nagging, and cross-examining.	Suspicion, nagging, and cross-examining.
664	00:33:03,181	00:33:04,205	Do you want to know why I'm late?	Do you want to know why I'm late?
665	00:33:04,249	00:33:05,739	You don't have to explain.	You don't have to explain.
666	00:33:05,784	00:33:07,445	Because of those idiots at the bakery.	Because of those idiots at the bakery.
667	00:33:07,486	00:33:10,421	I ordered pistachio cake, and they made it chocolate.	I ordered pistachio cake, and they made it chocolate.
668	00:33:10,455	00:33:12,082	I know how you hate chocolate.	I know how you hate chocolate.
669	00:33:12,123	00:33:14,591	Pistachio, chocolate... who cares?	Pistachio, chocolate... who cares?
670	00:33:14,626	00:33:16,651	I love you.	I love you.
671	00:33:16,695	00:33:18,253	Actually, I didn't mind waiting	Actually, I didn't mind waiting
672	00:33:18,296	00:33:20,662	because otherwise I never would have seen him.	because otherwise I never would have seen him.
673	00:33:20,699	00:33:21,961	Who?	Who?
674	00:33:22,000	00:33:23,433	I looked out the window...	I looked out the window...
675	00:33:23,468	00:33:27,063	and there he was, driving by in his car.	and there he was, driving by in his car.
676	00:33:27,105	00:33:28,663	Who?	Who?
677	00:33:28,707	00:33:32,040	He wore sunglasses, and he needed a shave...	He wore sunglasses, and he needed a shave...
678	00:33:32,077	00:33:35,046	but I recognized him anyway.	but I recognized him anyway.
679	00:33:35,080	00:33:36,513	Who?	Who?
680	00:33:40,118	00:33:41,483	Dino?	Dino?
681	00:33:41,520	00:33:43,044	I nearly fainted.	I nearly fainted.
682	00:33:43,088	00:33:45,488	I've been crazy about him since I was 16.	I've been crazy about him since I was 16.
683	00:33:45,524	00:33:46,491	You never told me.	You never told me.
684	00:33:46,525	00:33:48,720	I used to be president of his fan club...	I used to be president of his fan club...
685	00:33:48,760	00:33:50,352	and secretary-treasurer.	and secretary-treasurer.
686	00:33:50,395	00:33:51,487	There were just two of us...	There were just two of us...
687	00:33:51,530	00:33:53,430	me and Rosalie Schultz, but she chickened out...	me and Rosalie Schultz, but she chickened out...
688	00:33:53,465	00:33:54,591	and went over to Mitch Miller.	and went over to Mitch Miller.
689	00:33:54,633	00:33:56,498	I don't blame her.	I don't blame her.
690	00:33:56,535	00:33:59,629	Imagine, Dino in person... driving down Citrus Avenue.	Imagine, Dino in person... driving down Citrus Avenue.
691	00:33:59,671	00:34:02,105	You must be imagining it. It's ridiculous.	You must be imagining it. It's ridiculous.
692	00:34:02,140	00:34:04,665	What would a guy like that be doing in Climax?	What would a guy like that be doing in Climax?
693	00:34:04,709	00:34:06,540	Anyway, I read somewhere that he's in Hollywood.	Anyway, I read somewhere that he's in Hollywood.
694	00:34:06,578	00:34:07,943	Television or something. What are you doing?	Television or something. What are you doing?
695	00:34:07,979	00:34:08,946	I just want to play "Volare."	I just want to play "Volare."
696	00:34:08,980	00:34:09,947	Oh, no, you don't.	Oh, no, you don't.
697	00:34:09,981	00:34:11,005	Why not?	Why not?
698	00:34:11,049	00:34:12,983	You never know who's going to barge in.	You never know who's going to barge in.
699	00:34:13,018	00:34:14,144	Who?	Who?
700	00:34:14,185	00:34:17,348	I don't know. Rosalie Schultz, Mitch Miller, anybody.	I don't know. Rosalie Schultz, Mitch Miller, anybody.
701	00:34:17,389	00:34:20,324	And besides, I don't want a strange man singing to you.	And besides, I don't want a strange man singing to you.
702	00:34:20,358	00:34:21,347	There you go again.	There you go again.
703	00:34:21,393	00:34:25,796	I mean, after all, it is our anniversary.	I mean, after all, it is our anniversary.
704	00:34:29,834	00:34:31,461	I've got another surprise for you.	I've got another surprise for you.
705	00:34:31,503	00:34:32,663	Another?	Another?
706	00:34:32,704	00:34:33,966	You'll love it.	You'll love it.
707	00:34:34,005	00:34:36,235	I'd better go in the sewing room and finish it.	I'd better go in the sewing room and finish it.
708	00:34:36,274	00:34:37,502	You do that.	You do that.
709	00:34:43,281	00:34:45,181	Sewing room!	Sewing room!
710	00:34:45,216	00:34:48,276	Zelda. Wait!	Zelda. Wait!
711	00:34:48,320	00:34:49,582	What are you going in there for?	What are you going in there for?
712	00:34:49,621	00:34:50,849	I have some sewing to do.	I have some sewing to do.
713	00:34:50,889	00:34:52,254	What sewing?	What sewing?
714	00:34:52,290	00:34:53,552	It's a secret.	It's a secret.
715	00:34:53,592	00:34:55,253	You know I don't like secrets.	You know I don't like secrets.
716	00:34:55,293	00:34:56,317	All right, if you insist.	All right, if you insist.
717	00:34:56,361	00:34:58,852	I'm making myself a black chiffon negligee.	I'm making myself a black chiffon negligee.
718	00:34:58,897	00:35:00,364	I just have to put the lace on the collar.	I just have to put the lace on the collar.
719	00:35:00,398	00:35:02,457	I want it to be ready for tonight.	I want it to be ready for tonight.
720	00:35:02,500	00:35:05,298	You don't need lace on the collar.	You don't need lace on the collar.
721	00:35:05,337	00:35:08,101	You don't even need a negligee.	You don't even need a negligee.
722	00:35:08,139	00:35:10,607	And we don't have to wait for tonight.	And we don't have to wait for tonight.
723	00:35:15,146	00:35:16,443	I have no more lessons today...	I have no more lessons today...
724	00:35:16,481	00:35:18,711	and we're all alone in the house...	and we're all alone in the house...
725	00:35:18,750	00:35:19,717	so why don't we...	so why don't we...
726	00:35:19,751	00:35:21,912	In the middle of the afternoon?	In the middle of the afternoon?
727	00:35:21,953	00:35:23,682	That's what makes it...	That's what makes it...
728	00:35:23,722	00:35:25,519	the irregularity...	the irregularity...
729	00:35:25,557	00:35:27,582	that unexpected little twist.	that unexpected little twist.
730	00:35:27,626	00:35:30,356	Orville, have you been reading "Playboy" again?	Orville, have you been reading "Playboy" again?
731	00:35:30,395	00:35:31,862	You just relax.	You just relax.
732	00:35:31,896	00:35:34,865	I'll be with you in a minute, lambchop.	I'll be with you in a minute, lambchop.
733	00:36:19,810	00:36:20,868	I was just coming to see you.	I was just coming to see you.
734	00:36:20,912	00:36:21,936	Look what I got...	Look what I got...
735	00:36:21,979	00:36:23,674	all the Italian food they had at the market.	all the Italian food they had at the market.
736	00:36:23,714	00:36:26,239	Macaroni, parmigiana, frozen pizza, chianti.	Macaroni, parmigiana, frozen pizza, chianti.
737	00:36:26,284	00:36:27,251	Forget it.	Forget it.
738	00:36:27,285	00:36:28,309	That's what he likes.	That's what he likes.
739	00:36:28,352	00:36:29,341	You'll gonna give him an Italian dinner...	You'll gonna give him an Italian dinner...
740	00:36:29,387	00:36:30,718	play him our Italian song.	play him our Italian song.
741	00:36:30,755	00:36:33,053	Oh, no. He's gonna get into his Italian car and beat it!	Oh, no. He's gonna get into his Italian car and beat it!
742	00:36:33,090	00:36:34,079	What do you mean?	What do you mean?
743	00:36:34,125	00:36:36,184	I don't want him in the house. We got to get rid of him.	I don't want him in the house. We got to get rid of him.
744	00:36:36,227	00:36:37,194	After all the trouble we went to?	After all the trouble we went to?
745	00:36:37,228	00:36:39,219	- You heard me. - Why?	- You heard me. - Why?
746	00:36:39,263	00:36:40,389	Because he's a sex maniac.	Because he's a sex maniac.
747	00:36:40,431	00:36:41,625	So what? That's his problem.	So what? That's his problem.
748	00:36:41,666	00:36:43,964	But it's my wife! He's already after her.	But it's my wife! He's already after her.
749	00:36:44,001	00:36:46,469	And what's worse, she's crazy about him, too.	And what's worse, she's crazy about him, too.
750	00:36:46,504	00:36:49,996	Oh. What's wrong with that? He likes her. She likes him.	Oh. What's wrong with that? He likes her. She likes him.
751	00:36:50,041	00:36:51,303	So while you're plugging the songs...	So while you're plugging the songs...
752	00:36:51,342	00:36:53,333	she's sort of putting him in the mood.	she's sort of putting him in the mood.
753	00:36:53,377	00:36:55,436	Why, you miserable...	Why, you miserable...
754	00:36:55,479	00:36:57,447	are you suggesting that I use my wife?	are you suggesting that I use my wife?
755	00:36:57,481	00:36:59,745	Watch that chianti.	Watch that chianti.
756	00:36:59,784	00:37:01,411	I don't care if I never sell a song.	I don't care if I never sell a song.
757	00:37:01,452	00:37:03,977	I'd rather starve first because I love my wife.	I'd rather starve first because I love my wife.
758	00:37:04,021	00:37:05,420	I adore her. I worship her.	I adore her. I worship her.
759	00:37:05,456	00:37:06,480	Don't you trust her?	Don't you trust her?
760	00:37:06,524	00:37:09,391	No. Excuse me.	No. Excuse me.
761	00:37:40,558	00:37:42,389	Hurry up, playboy.	Hurry up, playboy.
762	00:37:49,100	00:37:51,398	It is no use arguing, Barney.	It is no use arguing, Barney.
763	00:37:51,435	00:37:54,302	Just reconnect his fuel line and... pssst.	Just reconnect his fuel line and... pssst.
764	00:37:54,338	00:37:56,363	Well, not so fast.	Well, not so fast.
765	00:37:57,575	00:37:59,600	Why do we have to get rid of him?	Why do we have to get rid of him?
766	00:37:59,644	00:38:01,612	Why don't we get rid of her?	Why don't we get rid of her?
767	00:38:01,646	00:38:02,613	Zelda?	Zelda?
768	00:38:02,647	00:38:04,274	Sure. Just send her away for the night...	Sure. Just send her away for the night...
769	00:38:04,315	00:38:05,373	if you're so worried.	if you're so worried.
770	00:38:05,416	00:38:06,906	Send her away. That's already better...	Send her away. That's already better...
771	00:38:06,951	00:38:08,145	but it won't work.	but it won't work.
772	00:38:08,185	00:38:09,152	Why not?	Why not?
773	00:38:09,186	00:38:10,778	Didn't you hear what I said?	Didn't you hear what I said?
774	00:38:10,821	00:38:13,153	This guy is only interested in action.	This guy is only interested in action.
775	00:38:13,190	00:38:14,350	He's not going to spend the night here...	He's not going to spend the night here...
776	00:38:14,392	00:38:17,486	just with me, eating macaroni and listening to our songs.	just with me, eating macaroni and listening to our songs.
777	00:38:17,528	00:38:18,927	He's going to be at the Belly Button...	He's going to be at the Belly Button...
778	00:38:18,963	00:38:21,295	looking for broads.	looking for broads.
779	00:38:21,332	00:38:22,993	Hold it. Hold it, hold it.	Hold it. Hold it, hold it.
780	00:38:23,034	00:38:24,763	Why does he have to go to the Belly Button?	Why does he have to go to the Belly Button?
781	00:38:24,802	00:38:26,997	Why don't we bring the Belly Button to him?	Why don't we bring the Belly Button to him?
782	00:38:27,038	00:38:28,300	Now you're going too fast.	Now you're going too fast.
783	00:38:28,339	00:38:29,431	Once Zelda's out of the way...	Once Zelda's out of the way...
784	00:38:29,473	00:38:31,441	we pick up one of those cocktail waitresses...	we pick up one of those cocktail waitresses...
785	00:38:31,475	00:38:32,464	and get her over here.	and get her over here.
786	00:38:32,510	00:38:34,034	Mmm. That'll keep him in the house.	Mmm. That'll keep him in the house.
787	00:38:34,078	00:38:35,375	How am I going to explain it to him?	How am I going to explain it to him?
788	00:38:35,413	00:38:37,404	That I was afraid he was going to make a pass at my wife...	That I was afraid he was going to make a pass at my wife...
789	00:38:37,448	00:38:38,710	so we got him a chippy instead?	so we got him a chippy instead?
790	00:38:38,749	00:38:40,910	You don't have to explain anything.	You don't have to explain anything.
791	00:38:40,951	00:38:43,943	Just introduce her as your wife.	Just introduce her as your wife.
792	00:38:43,988	00:38:45,683	What?	What?
793	00:38:45,723	00:38:46,883	Does he know what Zelda looks like?	Does he know what Zelda looks like?
794	00:38:46,924	00:38:48,357	- No, but... - Then that's it.	- No, but... - Then that's it.
795	00:38:48,392	00:38:51,259	He's going to get all the action he wants.	He's going to get all the action he wants.
796	00:38:51,295	00:38:53,422	Barney, you're sick!	Barney, you're sick!
797	00:38:53,464	00:38:56,661	Uh-huh. He can tickle her and pinch her...	Uh-huh. He can tickle her and pinch her...
798	00:38:56,701	00:38:59,363	grab her, wrestle with her.	grab her, wrestle with her.
799	00:39:01,005	00:39:02,529	Excuse me.	Excuse me.
800	00:39:50,811	00:39:53,041	Nice little lambchop.	Nice little lambchop.
801	00:39:56,217	00:39:57,844	Coming, Orville.	Coming, Orville.
802	00:39:59,754	00:40:01,585	All right, all right.	All right, all right.
803	00:40:01,622	00:40:02,646	So it's a great idea.	So it's a great idea.
804	00:40:02,690	00:40:04,658	But just tell me one thing if you're so clever...	But just tell me one thing if you're so clever...
805	00:40:04,692	00:40:06,250	how do I get rid of my wife?	how do I get rid of my wife?
806	00:40:06,293	00:40:08,853	That's the easiest part. Hit her.	That's the easiest part. Hit her.
807	00:40:08,896	00:40:09,988	Hit her?	Hit her?
808	00:40:10,030	00:40:12,396	Or start an argument or get her sore at you.	Or start an argument or get her sore at you.
809	00:40:12,433	00:40:15,800	Shove a grapefruit in her face. There's lots of ways.	Shove a grapefruit in her face. There's lots of ways.
810	00:40:15,836	00:40:17,531	You want me to louse up my marriage?	You want me to louse up my marriage?
811	00:40:17,571	00:40:19,436	It's just for one night.	It's just for one night.
812	00:40:19,473	00:40:21,464	So she cries a little. She goes home to her mother.	So she cries a little. She goes home to her mother.
813	00:40:21,509	00:40:22,976	And tomorrow morning you can explain...	And tomorrow morning you can explain...
814	00:40:23,010	00:40:23,999	the whole thing to her.	the whole thing to her.
815	00:40:24,044	00:40:25,705	You buy her a nice present.	You buy her a nice present.
816	00:40:25,746	00:40:27,008	By that time, you can afford it...	By that time, you can afford it...
817	00:40:27,047	00:40:29,481	because we'll have sold all those songs.	because we'll have sold all those songs.
818	00:40:29,517	00:40:32,645	You mean for no reason at all... a grapefruit?	You mean for no reason at all... a grapefruit?
819	00:40:32,686	00:40:34,381	Right in the kisser.	Right in the kisser.
820	00:40:34,422	00:40:35,411	Oh, I couldn't do that.	Oh, I couldn't do that.
821	00:40:35,456	00:40:36,855	You've got to because you love her.	You've got to because you love her.
822	00:40:36,891	00:40:38,984	It's for her own good.	It's for her own good.
823	00:40:39,026	00:40:40,254	Orville!	Orville!
824	00:40:41,629	00:40:44,154	Good luck. And you better get her out of here fast...	Good luck. And you better get her out of here fast...
825	00:40:44,198	00:40:45,460	because I'm on my way to the Belly Button...	because I'm on my way to the Belly Button...
826	00:40:45,499	00:40:47,364	to pick up that dame.	to pick up that dame.
827	00:40:53,107	00:40:54,472	Orville!	Orville!
828	00:40:56,510	00:41:00,412	Oh, Barney brought this... a little anniversary present.	Oh, Barney brought this... a little anniversary present.
829	00:41:00,448	00:41:01,506	Why did you get dressed again?	Why did you get dressed again?
830	00:41:01,549	00:41:02,641	Again?	Again?
831	00:41:02,683	00:41:04,014	After you took a shower.	After you took a shower.
832	00:41:04,051	00:41:06,451	I did? Oh, of course.	I did? Oh, of course.
833	00:41:06,487	00:41:09,888	And I got dressed again because I was feeling chilly.	And I got dressed again because I was feeling chilly.
834	00:41:09,924	00:41:11,949	You certainly didn't act chilly.	You certainly didn't act chilly.
835	00:41:11,992	00:41:12,959	When?	When?
836	00:41:12,993	00:41:14,585	When I was in the shower.	When I was in the shower.
837	00:41:14,628	00:41:17,096	I thought you were going to climb right in with me.	I thought you were going to climb right in with me.
838	00:41:17,131	00:41:20,828	You did? I mean, did I?	You did? I mean, did I?
839	00:41:20,868	00:41:24,668	We could save a lot of money on our water bill. Hmm?	We could save a lot of money on our water bill. Hmm?
840	00:41:24,705	00:41:25,967	Hmm.	Hmm.
841	00:41:26,006	00:41:27,473	Look what I dug up.	Look what I dug up.
842	00:41:27,508	00:41:28,475	What?	What?
843	00:41:28,509	00:41:29,976	Our wedding pictures.	Our wedding pictures.
844	00:41:30,010	00:41:33,673	Oh? Just let me get rid of this stuff.	Oh? Just let me get rid of this stuff.
845	00:41:33,714	00:41:35,079	All right.	All right.
846	00:41:46,727	00:41:48,319	Hey, you.	Hey, you.
847	00:41:49,363	00:41:51,354	Beethoven.	Beethoven.
848	00:41:55,536	00:41:58,232	When am I going to meet that wife of yours?	When am I going to meet that wife of yours?
849	00:41:58,272	00:42:00,900	She's taking a nap because she just took a shower...	She's taking a nap because she just took a shower...
850	00:42:00,941	00:42:02,966	but I guess you know that.	but I guess you know that.
851	00:42:03,010	00:42:05,410	Did you say she grows her own parsley?	Did you say she grows her own parsley?
852	00:42:05,446	00:42:07,744	Yes. You'll have some for dinner.	Yes. You'll have some for dinner.
853	00:42:07,781	00:42:09,510	That's when you'll meet her... at dinner.	That's when you'll meet her... at dinner.
854	00:42:09,550	00:42:11,916	I think I'll catch a little shut-eye myself...	I think I'll catch a little shut-eye myself...
855	00:42:11,952	00:42:14,011	so I can be nice and fresh.	so I can be nice and fresh.
856	00:42:14,054	00:42:15,612	Fresh?	Fresh?
857	00:42:15,656	00:42:19,490	I have a hunch this may turn out to be a big night.	I have a hunch this may turn out to be a big night.
858	00:43:03,870	00:43:07,169	Come here, darling. You'll get a kick out of these.	Come here, darling. You'll get a kick out of these.
859	00:43:07,207	00:43:08,868	Out of what?	Out of what?
860	00:43:08,909	00:43:11,173	Our wedding pictures. Remember that day?	Our wedding pictures. Remember that day?
861	00:43:11,211	00:43:15,045	Do I? It was the worst day of my life.	Do I? It was the worst day of my life.
862	00:43:15,082	00:43:16,640	I thought it was beautiful.	I thought it was beautiful.
863	00:43:16,683	00:43:18,412	Oh, you did?	Oh, you did?
864	00:43:18,452	00:43:19,419	It was just that you tried to do...	It was just that you tried to do...
865	00:43:19,453	00:43:21,648	too many things at the same time.	too many things at the same time.
866	00:43:21,688	00:43:22,780	Whoever heard of a bridegroom...	Whoever heard of a bridegroom...
867	00:43:22,823	00:43:26,953	playing the organ at his own wedding?	playing the organ at his own wedding?
868	00:43:26,993	00:43:29,257	Look at mother... crying her eyes out.	Look at mother... crying her eyes out.
869	00:43:29,296	00:43:33,528	I'm glad you brought that up.	I'm glad you brought that up.
870	00:43:33,567	00:43:36,502	You want to know how I feel about your mother?	You want to know how I feel about your mother?
871	00:43:36,536	00:43:37,503	No.	No.
872	00:43:37,537	00:43:40,802	All right, I'll tell you. She makes me throw up.	All right, I'll tell you. She makes me throw up.
873	00:43:40,841	00:43:42,934	The way she treats your father.	The way she treats your father.
874	00:43:42,976	00:43:45,376	And you know what she looks like?	And you know what she looks like?
875	00:43:45,412	00:43:46,504	Godzilla!	Godzilla!
876	00:43:46,546	00:43:47,945	Now, now, Orville.	Now, now, Orville.
877	00:43:47,981	00:43:49,539	Now, now, what?	Now, now, what?
878	00:43:49,583	00:43:51,175	Mother may be a little difficult, but...	Mother may be a little difficult, but...
879	00:43:51,218	00:43:53,345	Difficult? She's impossible.	Difficult? She's impossible.
880	00:43:53,386	00:43:57,755	A mean, vicious, loud-mouthed, interfering old bag!	A mean, vicious, loud-mouthed, interfering old bag!
881	00:43:57,791	00:44:00,282	Now, what do you think of that?	Now, what do you think of that?
882	00:44:00,327	00:44:03,296	Well, basically I have to agree with you.	Well, basically I have to agree with you.
883	00:44:03,330	00:44:04,661	You do?	You do?
884	00:44:04,698	00:44:07,496	Why do you think I got married? To get away from her.	Why do you think I got married? To get away from her.
885	00:44:07,534	00:44:11,061	Oh, so that's the reason why you married me.	Oh, so that's the reason why you married me.
886	00:44:11,104	00:44:15,598	Not the only reason. I also love you.	Not the only reason. I also love you.
887	00:44:15,642	00:44:17,769	Oh.	Oh.
888	00:44:17,811	00:44:21,247	Here are some pictures from our honeymoon.	Here are some pictures from our honeymoon.
889	00:44:21,281	00:44:23,249	Honeymoon?	Honeymoon?
890	00:44:23,283	00:44:26,912	Boy, was that ever a flop.	Boy, was that ever a flop.
891	00:44:26,953	00:44:28,318	I wouldn't say that.	I wouldn't say that.
892	00:44:28,355	00:44:31,051	Oh, you wouldn't?	Oh, you wouldn't?
893	00:44:31,091	00:44:34,219	I'll admit the first night was a little disappointing...	I'll admit the first night was a little disappointing...
894	00:44:34,261	00:44:35,319	when they didn't have a room for us...	when they didn't have a room for us...
895	00:44:35,362	00:44:37,227	and we had to sleep out in your old rambler.	and we had to sleep out in your old rambler.
896	00:44:38,465	00:44:40,592	It was a Volkswagen.	It was a Volkswagen.
897	00:44:40,634	00:44:41,862	Darling, here's a picture.	Darling, here's a picture.
898	00:44:41,902	00:44:43,426	It was a rambler, a blue rambler.	It was a rambler, a blue rambler.
899	00:44:43,470	00:44:45,995	It was pink.	It was pink.
900	00:44:46,039	00:44:47,006	Don't tell me.	Don't tell me.
901	00:44:47,040	00:44:48,530	Of course it was blue...	Of course it was blue...
902	00:44:48,575	00:44:50,338	exactly the same color as my eyes.	exactly the same color as my eyes.
903	00:44:50,377	00:44:54,108	Your eyes are pink.	Your eyes are pink.
904	00:44:54,147	00:44:56,479	What are you talking about? I have blue eyes.	What are you talking about? I have blue eyes.
905	00:44:56,516	00:44:57,813	I say they're pink.	I say they're pink.
906	00:44:57,851	00:45:00,684	You want to make something of it?	You want to make something of it?
907	00:45:00,720	00:45:04,417	Orville, what is this... some kind of a new game?	Orville, what is this... some kind of a new game?
908	00:45:06,726	00:45:08,421	I wonder who that could be.	I wonder who that could be.
909	00:45:13,466	00:45:14,899	Good afternoon, Mrs. Spooner.	Good afternoon, Mrs. Spooner.
910	00:45:14,935	00:45:15,924	May we come in?	May we come in?
911	00:45:15,969	00:45:17,664	Of course, Reverend.	Of course, Reverend.
912	00:45:18,738	00:45:19,727	Hello, Mrs. Spooner.	Hello, Mrs. Spooner.
913	00:45:19,773	00:45:20,740	Mrs. Mulligan.	Mrs. Mulligan.
914	00:45:20,774	00:45:21,763	- Hi, Zelda. - Hi, Rosalie.	- Hi, Zelda. - Hi, Rosalie.
915	00:45:21,808	00:45:23,901	We hate to intrude on you like this...	We hate to intrude on you like this...
916	00:45:23,944	00:45:25,206	but we're collecting signatures...	but we're collecting signatures...
917	00:45:25,245	00:45:27,338	for a petition urging the city council...	for a petition urging the city council...
918	00:45:27,380	00:45:30,144	to close down that dreadful place...	to close down that dreadful place...
919	00:45:30,183	00:45:32,276	if the ladies will forgive my language...	if the ladies will forgive my language...
920	00:45:32,319	00:45:35,482	the Belly Button.	the Belly Button.
921	00:45:35,522	00:45:39,390	Of course. We'll be glad to sign, won't we, Orville?	Of course. We'll be glad to sign, won't we, Orville?
922	00:45:39,426	00:45:40,757	We will?	We will?
923	00:45:40,794	00:45:44,821	Well, it's a disgrace, a cesspool...	Well, it's a disgrace, a cesspool...
924	00:45:44,864	00:45:46,263	a blot on our community.	a blot on our community.
925	00:45:46,299	00:45:49,029	I understand they let minors use the cigarette machine.	I understand they let minors use the cigarette machine.
926	00:45:49,069	00:45:51,333	Rosalie and I went in there to investigate...	Rosalie and I went in there to investigate...
927	00:45:51,371	00:45:53,032	and two strange men approached us...	and two strange men approached us...
928	00:45:53,073	00:45:54,904	and offered to buy us Bloody Marys.	and offered to buy us Bloody Marys.
929	00:45:54,941	00:45:56,704	I got the distinct impression	I got the distinct impression
930	00:45:56,743	00:45:59,109	that there's love for sale on the premises.	that there's love for sale on the premises.
931	00:45:59,145	00:46:05,243	"Love For Sale," Cole Porter... a million and a half copies.	"Love For Sale," Cole Porter... a million and a half copies.
932	00:46:05,285	00:46:08,277	Well, what are we waiting for? Who's got a fountain pen?	Well, what are we waiting for? Who's got a fountain pen?
933	00:46:17,397	00:46:19,797	Oh, I see you're celebrating your anniversary.	Oh, I see you're celebrating your anniversary.
934	00:46:19,833	00:46:20,822	Our fifth.	Our fifth.
935	00:46:20,867	00:46:22,528	What a lovely cake.	What a lovely cake.
936	00:46:22,569	00:46:23,558	Pistachio?	Pistachio?
937	00:46:23,603	00:46:24,797	Would you like a piece?	Would you like a piece?
938	00:46:24,838	00:46:26,829	I wouldn't want you to spoil it.	I wouldn't want you to spoil it.
939	00:46:26,873	00:46:29,103	Oh, well, maybe just a little piece.	Oh, well, maybe just a little piece.
940	00:46:29,142	00:46:31,133	In that case, I'll have a little piece, too.	In that case, I'll have a little piece, too.
941	00:46:31,177	00:46:32,144	Reverend?	Reverend?
942	00:46:32,178	00:46:33,145	No, thank you.	No, thank you.
943	00:46:33,179	00:46:34,407	Cholesterol, you know.	Cholesterol, you know.
944	00:46:34,447	00:46:36,677	Thank you.	Thank you.
945	00:46:36,716	00:46:40,015	However, if you happen to have half a grapefruit.	However, if you happen to have half a grapefruit.
946	00:46:42,589	00:46:46,753	Well, actually, I was saving it for my wife.	Well, actually, I was saving it for my wife.
947	00:47:16,589	00:47:18,318	What do you say, Barney?	What do you say, Barney?
948	00:47:20,760	00:47:21,749	Is Polly working today?	Is Polly working today?
949	00:47:21,795	00:47:23,285	- Sure. - Where?	- Sure. - Where?
950	00:47:23,330	00:47:27,027	She's gone back to being a blond again.	She's gone back to being a blond again.
951	00:47:34,607	00:47:36,438	Hey, Polly, we were just wondering...	Hey, Polly, we were just wondering...
952	00:47:36,476	00:47:39,206	how do you get that thing to stay in there?	how do you get that thing to stay in there?
953	00:47:39,245	00:47:40,507	I glue it in.	I glue it in.
954	00:47:40,547	00:47:42,276	Ha ha ha!	Ha ha ha!
955	00:47:43,483	00:47:46,111	What would happen if I unglued it?	What would happen if I unglued it?
956	00:47:46,152	00:47:48,052	You'd get beer in your eye.	You'd get beer in your eye.
957	00:47:48,088	00:47:49,248	From there?	From there?
958	00:47:49,289	00:47:51,985	From here.	From here.
959	00:48:03,937	00:48:06,098	Look, Bertha, you still want those new seat covers...	Look, Bertha, you still want those new seat covers...
960	00:48:06,139	00:48:07,538	in your station wagon?	in your station wagon?
961	00:48:07,574	00:48:08,563	Why?	Why?
962	00:48:08,608	00:48:10,769	I'll give them to you for half price...	I'll give them to you for half price...
963	00:48:10,810	00:48:12,209	if you'll do me a little favor.	if you'll do me a little favor.
964	00:48:12,245	00:48:13,872	Like what?	Like what?
965	00:48:16,716	00:48:19,742	It's OK with me if it's OK with Polly.	It's OK with me if it's OK with Polly.
966	00:48:19,786	00:48:21,117	Muah!	Muah!
967	00:48:27,427	00:48:30,885	Listen, Polly, I got a proposition for you.	Listen, Polly, I got a proposition for you.
968	00:48:30,930	00:48:33,057	Step back. Here comes a big one.	Step back. Here comes a big one.
969	00:48:34,234	00:48:35,201	Gesundheit.	Gesundheit.
970	00:48:35,235	00:48:36,930	Like I said, I got a proposition.	Like I said, I got a proposition.
971	00:48:36,970	00:48:37,937	I need you.	I need you.
972	00:48:37,971	00:48:38,995	Right now?	Right now?
973	00:48:39,038	00:48:40,005	It's an emergency.	It's an emergency.
974	00:48:40,039	00:48:41,631	Yeah, it must be.	Yeah, it must be.
975	00:48:41,674	00:48:44,142	Actually, it's not for me. It's for a friend of mine.	Actually, it's not for me. It's for a friend of mine.
976	00:48:44,177	00:48:45,940	He's giving a little party. It's an all-night job.	He's giving a little party. It's an all-night job.
977	00:48:45,979	00:48:47,537	I just got on duty.	I just got on duty.
978	00:48:47,580	00:48:49,548	I won't be through till 1:00 in the morning.	I won't be through till 1:00 in the morning.
979	00:48:49,582	00:48:51,743	It's OK. I talked to Big Bertha.	It's OK. I talked to Big Bertha.
980	00:48:51,785	00:48:52,979	It's all fixed.	It's all fixed.
981	00:48:53,019	00:48:54,782	You better get yourself another girl.	You better get yourself another girl.
982	00:48:54,821	00:48:57,517	I'm coming down with this cold, and I feel lousy.	I'm coming down with this cold, and I feel lousy.
983	00:48:57,557	00:48:59,718	Well, if you want to pass up 25 bucks.	Well, if you want to pass up 25 bucks.
984	00:48:59,759	00:49:02,227	- How much? - 25 bucks.	- How much? - 25 bucks.
985	00:49:02,262	00:49:04,253	Huh?	Huh?
986	00:49:04,297	00:49:05,525	Suddenly I feel better.	Suddenly I feel better.
987	00:49:06,566	00:49:08,193	Atta girl. Let's go.	Atta girl. Let's go.
988	00:49:08,234	00:49:09,565	Don't you want me to change my clothes first?	Don't you want me to change my clothes first?
989	00:49:09,602	00:49:10,933	Come on. I got my motor running.	Come on. I got my motor running.
990	00:49:10,970	00:49:12,232	At least let me put on a coat.	At least let me put on a coat.
991	00:49:12,272	00:49:13,239	What for?	What for?
992	00:49:13,273	00:49:15,207	Do you want me to catch pneumonia?	Do you want me to catch pneumonia?
993	00:49:15,241	00:49:16,640	On an outside job like this...	On an outside job like this...
994	00:49:16,676	00:49:18,303	I'm not covered by any Blue Cross.	I'm not covered by any Blue Cross.
995	00:49:18,344	00:49:19,436	Ok, but step on it.	Ok, but step on it.
996	00:49:19,479	00:49:20,503	I'll pick you up around the back.	I'll pick you up around the back.
997	00:49:20,547	00:49:21,571	Yeah.	Yeah.
998	00:49:33,693	00:49:36,491	Bang! Bang! Bang!	Bang! Bang! Bang!
999	00:50:07,527	00:50:08,585	Here's your dinner, Sam.	Here's your dinner, Sam.
1000	00:50:09,596	00:50:11,962	I won't be home till late.	I won't be home till late.
1001	00:50:11,998	00:50:13,192	Polly!	Polly!
1002	00:50:13,233	00:50:15,895	I'm coming!	I'm coming!
1003	00:50:15,935	00:50:18,130	Now, don't stay up all night watching TV.	Now, don't stay up all night watching TV.
1004	00:50:18,171	00:50:19,297	It's not good for your eyes.	It's not good for your eyes.
1005	00:50:24,010	00:50:25,443	Are you kidding?	Are you kidding?
1006	00:50:25,478	00:50:27,503	I'm not going in any truck.	I'm not going in any truck.
1007	00:50:27,547	00:50:31,813	Listen to her... Princess Grace. Get your keister in here!	Listen to her... Princess Grace. Get your keister in here!
1008	00:50:31,851	00:50:34,877	You know what you are? No gentleman.	You know what you are? No gentleman.
1009	00:50:34,921	00:50:37,014	Come on! Come on!	Come on! Come on!
1010	00:50:37,056	00:50:38,489	OK.	OK.
1011	00:50:56,409	00:50:58,639	Say, what kind of party is this anyway?	Say, what kind of party is this anyway?
1012	00:50:58,678	00:51:00,669	My friend will explain the whole thing to you.	My friend will explain the whole thing to you.
1013	00:51:00,713	00:51:02,408	What are you so worried about?	What are you so worried about?
1014	00:51:02,448	00:51:05,611	Well, the last time I took a job like this was July 4th.	Well, the last time I took a job like this was July 4th.
1015	00:51:05,652	00:51:07,210	It was one of those bachelor barbecues...	It was one of those bachelor barbecues...
1016	00:51:07,253	00:51:10,950	with fireworks and everything, and they raffled me off.	with fireworks and everything, and they raffled me off.
1017	00:51:10,990	00:51:12,582	I went for $83.	I went for $83.
1018	00:51:13,760	00:51:15,660	Except the next day, the check bounced...	Except the next day, the check bounced...
1019	00:51:15,695	00:51:19,028	so all I got out of it was a case of poison ivy.	so all I got out of it was a case of poison ivy.
1020	00:51:24,470	00:51:26,870	Thank you, Mrs. Spooner.	Thank you, Mrs. Spooner.
1021	00:51:26,906	00:51:27,873	Bye, Rosalie.	Bye, Rosalie.
1022	00:51:27,907	00:51:29,033	Happy anniversary, Zelda.	Happy anniversary, Zelda.
1023	00:51:29,075	00:51:30,804	Come, come, ladies. We have a lot of work to do.	Come, come, ladies. We have a lot of work to do.
1024	00:51:30,843	00:51:33,175	We need another 400 signatures.	We need another 400 signatures.
1025	00:51:36,015	00:51:37,243	Reverend.	Reverend.
1026	00:51:39,586	00:51:41,019	Are you sure you don't need some help?	Are you sure you don't need some help?
1027	00:51:41,054	00:51:42,988	After all, 400 signatures.	After all, 400 signatures.
1028	00:51:43,022	00:51:44,512	Why don't you take my wife along?	Why don't you take my wife along?
1029	00:51:44,557	00:51:45,990	She's very good at this sort of thing.	She's very good at this sort of thing.
1030	00:51:46,025	00:51:47,083	Oh, I wouldn't think of it.	Oh, I wouldn't think of it.
1031	00:51:47,126	00:51:48,889	Not on your anniversary.	Not on your anniversary.
1032	00:51:51,297	00:51:52,924	This way, playboy.	This way, playboy.
1033	00:52:03,776	00:52:07,109	In case there are any more petitions.	In case there are any more petitions.
1034	00:52:07,146	00:52:08,238	Yeah.	Yeah.
1035	00:52:12,318	00:52:13,546	Now...	Now...
1036	00:52:13,586	00:52:15,213	Where were we?	Where were we?
1037	00:52:16,956	00:52:20,255	You know, this town isn't going to be the same...	You know, this town isn't going to be the same...
1038	00:52:20,293	00:52:23,524	if they close down the Belly Button.	if they close down the Belly Button.
1039	00:52:23,563	00:52:24,552	Why should you care?	Why should you care?
1040	00:52:24,597	00:52:25,928	Why should I care?	Why should I care?
1041	00:52:25,965	00:52:27,933	I happen to be their biggest customer.	I happen to be their biggest customer.
1042	00:52:27,967	00:52:28,934	You?	You?
1043	00:52:28,968	00:52:30,458	All those nights when you thought...	All those nights when you thought...
1044	00:52:30,503	00:52:32,494	I was at choir practice or bowling...	I was at choir practice or bowling...
1045	00:52:32,538	00:52:34,802	or watching color television outside Pringle's...	or watching color television outside Pringle's...
1046	00:52:34,841	00:52:36,570	I was really at the Belly Button.	I was really at the Belly Button.
1047	00:52:36,609	00:52:37,906	Doing what?	Doing what?
1048	00:52:37,944	00:52:40,742	Using that cigarette machine, drinking Mary Bloodies...	Using that cigarette machine, drinking Mary Bloodies...
1049	00:52:40,780	00:52:42,941	and a lot of other things, but I'd rather not talk about it...	and a lot of other things, but I'd rather not talk about it...
1050	00:52:42,982	00:52:45,712	because you'll just get sore and walk out on me.	because you'll just get sore and walk out on me.
1051	00:52:45,752	00:52:47,014	What other things?	What other things?
1052	00:52:47,053	00:52:48,350	You may think I'm sort of a square...	You may think I'm sort of a square...
1053	00:52:48,388	00:52:51,221	but ask any of those cocktail waitresses there...	but ask any of those cocktail waitresses there...
1054	00:52:51,257	00:52:54,283	I am a swinger.	I am a swinger.
1055	00:52:54,327	00:52:55,589	Sure you are.	Sure you are.
1056	00:52:55,628	00:52:58,062	I wouldn't have it any other way.	I wouldn't have it any other way.
1057	00:53:12,145	00:53:15,512	Poor Zelda. I guess the wife is always the last to know.	Poor Zelda. I guess the wife is always the last to know.
1058	00:53:15,548	00:53:16,537	Know what?	Know what?
1059	00:53:16,582	00:53:19,312	For your information, I have been playing around for years.	For your information, I have been playing around for years.
1060	00:53:19,352	00:53:20,376	Oh?	Oh?
1061	00:53:20,420	00:53:21,580	And not just with those waitresses...	And not just with those waitresses...
1062	00:53:21,621	00:53:23,020	with some of your best friends.	with some of your best friends.
1063	00:53:23,056	00:53:24,045	Like who?	Like who?
1064	00:53:24,090	00:53:26,081	Well, I'm too much of a gentleman to mention names...	Well, I'm too much of a gentleman to mention names...
1065	00:53:26,125	00:53:27,285	but last Thanksgiving...	but last Thanksgiving...
1066	00:53:27,326	00:53:29,590	there was a little incident in the organ loft.	there was a little incident in the organ loft.
1067	00:53:29,629	00:53:31,927	Oh, you and Rosalie Schultz.	Oh, you and Rosalie Schultz.
1068	00:53:31,964	00:53:32,953	How did you know?	How did you know?
1069	00:53:32,999	00:53:35,399	She told me all about it. We had a big laugh.	She told me all about it. We had a big laugh.
1070	00:53:35,435	00:53:36,459	You mean, you were discussing...	You mean, you were discussing...
1071	00:53:36,502	00:53:37,935	my sex life with another woman...	my sex life with another woman...
1072	00:53:37,970	00:53:39,198	and laughing about it?	and laughing about it?
1073	00:53:39,238	00:53:40,398	What sex life?	What sex life?
1074	00:53:40,440	00:53:41,907	So you chased her up the bell tower.	So you chased her up the bell tower.
1075	00:53:41,941	00:53:44,136	It just so happens that she chased me.	It just so happens that she chased me.
1076	00:53:44,177	00:53:46,907	What difference does it make? Nobody caught anybody.	What difference does it make? Nobody caught anybody.
1077	00:53:46,946	00:53:48,573	And anyway, I trust you.	And anyway, I trust you.
1078	00:53:48,614	00:53:50,605	You trust me?	You trust me?
1079	00:53:50,650	00:53:52,982	That's a lousy thing to say about your husband.	That's a lousy thing to say about your husband.
1080	00:53:53,019	00:53:55,487	Don't you think I'm attractive to other women?	Don't you think I'm attractive to other women?
1081	00:53:55,521	00:53:57,853	You're attractive to me.	You're attractive to me.
1082	00:53:58,891	00:54:00,552	So come to bed.	So come to bed.
1083	00:54:03,429	00:54:04,657	Oh, no.	Oh, no.
1084	00:54:04,697	00:54:06,164	You're not going to weasel out of it.	You're not going to weasel out of it.
1085	00:54:06,199	00:54:08,599	The truth is, you don't give a damn about me...	The truth is, you don't give a damn about me...
1086	00:54:08,634	00:54:11,068	because if you did, you'd be jealous.	because if you did, you'd be jealous.
1087	00:54:11,104	00:54:12,571	You'd fight for me.	You'd fight for me.
1088	00:54:12,605	00:54:14,470	It's the most primitive emotion there is.	It's the most primitive emotion there is.
1089	00:54:14,507	00:54:15,769	You take the Watusis.	You take the Watusis.
1090	00:54:15,808	00:54:18,038	I read all about it in the "National Geographic"...	I read all about it in the "National Geographic"...
1091	00:54:18,077	00:54:19,772	in Dr. Sheldrake's office.	in Dr. Sheldrake's office.
1092	00:54:19,812	00:54:21,575	If a Watusi wife catches another woman...	If a Watusi wife catches another woman...
1093	00:54:21,614	00:54:23,639	with a Watusi husband, you know what she does?	with a Watusi husband, you know what she does?
1094	00:54:23,683	00:54:26,277	She buries her in sand up to her neck...	She buries her in sand up to her neck...
1095	00:54:26,319	00:54:28,412	and smears honey all over her head...	and smears honey all over her head...
1096	00:54:28,454	00:54:30,513	and lets the red ants loose on her.	and lets the red ants loose on her.
1097	00:54:30,556	00:54:32,581	But what do you do when Rosalie Schultz...	But what do you do when Rosalie Schultz...
1098	00:54:32,625	00:54:34,286	tries to steal your husband?	tries to steal your husband?
1099	00:54:34,327	00:54:36,591	You give her a piece of pistachio cake!	You give her a piece of pistachio cake!
1100	00:54:36,629	00:54:38,824	Well, if that's all you care about me...	Well, if that's all you care about me...
1101	00:54:38,865	00:54:39,889	I've had it.	I've had it.
1102	00:54:39,932	00:54:42,127	I'm not staying here another minute.	I'm not staying here another minute.
1103	00:54:42,168	00:54:44,500	Where do you think you're going?	Where do you think you're going?
1104	00:54:44,537	00:54:46,505	I'm going home to mother.	I'm going home to mother.
1105	00:54:49,175	00:54:53,168	Orville! Wait a minute. What are you doing?	Orville! Wait a minute. What are you doing?
1106	00:54:53,212	00:54:54,873	That's right. What am I doing?	That's right. What am I doing?
1107	00:54:54,914	00:54:56,108	It's the other way around.	It's the other way around.
1108	00:54:56,149	00:54:58,208	You're going home to your mother.	You're going home to your mother.
1109	00:54:58,251	00:55:00,685	Darling, what's the matter with you?	Darling, what's the matter with you?
1110	00:55:00,720	00:55:02,585	All day you've been trying to pick a fight.	All day you've been trying to pick a fight.
1111	00:55:02,622	00:55:03,850	It's for your own good.	It's for your own good.
1112	00:55:03,890	00:55:05,881	There isn't room enough here for the three of us.	There isn't room enough here for the three of us.
1113	00:55:05,925	00:55:07,256	The three of us?	The three of us?
1114	00:55:07,293	00:55:10,456	I mean the four of us. Out you go.	I mean the four of us. Out you go.
1115	00:55:10,496	00:55:13,021	Orville, you're not making any sense.	Orville, you're not making any sense.
1116	00:55:13,065	00:55:15,795	This is me, your wife. Zelda, remember?	This is me, your wife. Zelda, remember?
1117	00:55:15,835	00:55:17,097	Five years ago today...	Five years ago today...
1118	00:55:17,136	00:55:20,037	we promised to love, honor, and cherish each other...	we promised to love, honor, and cherish each other...
1119	00:55:20,072	00:55:21,266	and you were so nervous...	and you were so nervous...
1120	00:55:21,307	00:55:23,741	you put the ring on the minister's finger.	you put the ring on the minister's finger.
1121	00:55:23,776	00:55:28,042	Oh, cut out that sentimental slush!	Oh, cut out that sentimental slush!
1122	00:55:28,080	00:55:29,479	Out!	Out!
1123	00:55:29,515	00:55:30,539	Oh...	Oh...
1124	00:55:33,452	00:55:35,647	Don't cry, lambchop. Please.	Don't cry, lambchop. Please.
1125	00:55:35,688	00:55:37,315	Maybe I'm not making any sense now...	Maybe I'm not making any sense now...
1126	00:55:37,356	00:55:38,653	but I'll make a lot of sense tomorrow...	but I'll make a lot of sense tomorrow...
1127	00:55:38,691	00:55:40,158	when I explain the whole thing.	when I explain the whole thing.
1128	00:55:40,193	00:55:41,182	Don't bother!	Don't bother!
1129	00:55:41,227	00:55:43,092	Tomorrow or any other time!	Tomorrow or any other time!
1130	00:55:51,304	00:55:53,101	Zelda!	Zelda!
1131	00:56:11,424	00:56:15,190	Nice timing, Orville. Now we're cooking.	Nice timing, Orville. Now we're cooking.
1132	00:56:15,228	00:56:19,688	I wish I were in hell with my back broken.	I wish I were in hell with my back broken.
1133	00:56:19,732	00:56:22,496	Just wait till you see what I brought for dessert.	Just wait till you see what I brought for dessert.
1134	00:56:23,870	00:56:25,735	This is Polly.	This is Polly.
1135	00:56:28,608	00:56:29,597	My friend Orville.	My friend Orville.
1136	00:56:29,642	00:56:30,939	Hi.	Hi.
1137	00:56:30,977	00:56:32,569	Not here.	Not here.
1138	00:56:32,612	00:56:34,170	You want the whole neighborhood to know?	You want the whole neighborhood to know?
1139	00:56:34,213	00:56:36,078	Get her in the house.	Get her in the house.
1140	00:56:36,115	00:56:37,309	That's some welcome.	That's some welcome.
1141	00:56:37,350	00:56:39,910	Stop beefing. This is cash on the line...	Stop beefing. This is cash on the line...
1142	00:56:39,952	00:56:41,579	and no poison ivy.	and no poison ivy.
1143	00:56:41,621	00:56:43,213	Come on. Come on.	Come on. Come on.
1144	00:56:52,498	00:56:55,262	You got a wastepaper basket someplace?	You got a wastepaper basket someplace?
1145	00:56:57,536	00:56:58,969	Well, what do you think of her?	Well, what do you think of her?
1146	00:56:59,004	00:57:00,904	I guess she's all right, but I wouldn't know.	I guess she's all right, but I wouldn't know.
1147	00:57:00,939	00:57:04,807	You can take my word for it. She's a pistol, a real pistol.	You can take my word for it. She's a pistol, a real pistol.
1148	00:57:04,843	00:57:05,901	Say, what is this?	Say, what is this?
1149	00:57:05,944	00:57:07,673	You brought me all the way here on approval?	You brought me all the way here on approval?
1150	00:57:07,713	00:57:10,113	No, no. You got a deal. Right?	No, no. You got a deal. Right?
1151	00:57:10,149	00:57:11,480	Oh, sure. We've gone this far.	Oh, sure. We've gone this far.
1152	00:57:11,517	00:57:12,950	We may as well go through with it.	We may as well go through with it.
1153	00:57:12,985	00:57:14,714	Don't force yourself, mister.	Don't force yourself, mister.
1154	00:57:14,753	00:57:16,220	Oh, I didn't mean it that way.	Oh, I didn't mean it that way.
1155	00:57:16,255	00:57:17,313	I think you're most attractive...	I think you're most attractive...
1156	00:57:17,356	00:57:19,085	and you're going to do a very good job.	and you're going to do a very good job.
1157	00:57:19,124	00:57:21,251	What does he want now, references?	What does he want now, references?
1158	00:57:21,293	00:57:23,386	Simmer down. You, too...	Simmer down. You, too...
1159	00:57:23,429	00:57:25,192	because it's gonna work out just great.	because it's gonna work out just great.
1160	00:57:25,230	00:57:26,629	I hope so.	I hope so.
1161	00:57:26,665	00:57:28,599	Don't bet on it, hon.	Don't bet on it, hon.
1162	00:57:28,634	00:57:29,760	I better leave you alone now.	I better leave you alone now.
1163	00:57:29,802	00:57:30,826	Do you have to?	Do you have to?
1164	00:57:30,869	00:57:32,359	I'm supposed to be grinding that valve.	I'm supposed to be grinding that valve.
1165	00:57:33,972	00:57:35,098	And one more thing...	And one more thing...
1166	00:57:35,140	00:57:37,472	you got all night, so take it easy.	you got all night, so take it easy.
1167	00:57:37,509	00:57:39,568	You don't have to start on the piano right away.	You don't have to start on the piano right away.
1168	00:57:39,611	00:57:43,547	Build up to it slowly.	Build up to it slowly.
1169	00:57:43,582	00:57:45,277	Know what I mean?	Know what I mean?
1170	00:57:45,317	00:57:46,648	Maybe while you have dinner...	Maybe while you have dinner...
1171	00:57:46,685	00:57:48,482	you can sneak it into the conversation.	you can sneak it into the conversation.
1172	00:57:48,520	00:57:51,421	And then after dinner, you can really go all out.	And then after dinner, you can really go all out.
1173	00:57:58,996	00:58:00,964	Well, shall we get organized?	Well, shall we get organized?
1174	00:58:00,998	00:58:04,456	Look, I'm a good sport... I mean, you could ask anybody...	Look, I'm a good sport... I mean, you could ask anybody...
1175	00:58:04,501	00:58:06,867	but none of that crazy stuff, huh?	but none of that crazy stuff, huh?
1176	00:58:06,903	00:58:08,666	You see, I got this bad cold.	You see, I got this bad cold.
1177	00:58:08,705	00:58:11,936	Did you ever hear of anybody with a... with a good cold?	Did you ever hear of anybody with a... with a good cold?
1178	00:58:11,975	00:58:13,203	Huh.	Huh.
1179	00:58:15,012	00:58:17,003	It's a nice place you got here.	It's a nice place you got here.
1180	00:58:17,047	00:58:18,480	Oh, you'll like it.	Oh, you'll like it.
1181	00:58:18,515	00:58:20,983	It's not very big, but it's clean.	It's not very big, but it's clean.
1182	00:58:21,018	00:58:22,485	What is?	What is?
1183	00:58:22,519	00:58:23,986	What is what?	What is what?
1184	00:58:24,021	00:58:26,615	I don't know. You brought it up.	I don't know. You brought it up.
1185	00:58:28,091	00:58:30,218	First thing you have to do is get out of those clothes.	First thing you have to do is get out of those clothes.
1186	00:58:30,260	00:58:32,490	Just like that?	Just like that?
1187	00:58:33,029	00:58:33,996	You're so right.	You're so right.
1188	00:58:34,030	00:58:36,897	First thing, we'd better make sure my wife isn't coming back.	First thing, we'd better make sure my wife isn't coming back.
1189	00:58:36,933	00:58:38,730	Yeah. I think we better.	Yeah. I think we better.
1190	00:58:47,610	00:58:49,737	You realize if it weren't for venetian blinds...	You realize if it weren't for venetian blinds...
1191	00:58:49,779	00:58:51,269	it would be curtains for all of us?	it would be curtains for all of us?
1192	00:58:51,314	00:58:53,248	I guess you can't be too careful...	I guess you can't be too careful...
1193	00:58:53,283	00:58:54,875	a man in your position.	a man in your position.
1194	00:58:54,918	00:58:56,249	My position?	My position?
1195	00:58:56,286	00:58:57,719	Oh, I recognized you right away.	Oh, I recognized you right away.
1196	00:58:57,754	00:59:00,416	I see you at church every Sunday playing the organ.	I see you at church every Sunday playing the organ.
1197	00:59:01,491	00:59:02,958	You go to church?	You go to church?
1198	00:59:02,992	00:59:04,152	All of us girls go.	All of us girls go.
1199	00:59:04,194	00:59:06,458	Big Bertha takes us in the station wagon.	Big Bertha takes us in the station wagon.
1200	00:59:06,496	00:59:08,157	Well, you know what they say...	Well, you know what they say...
1201	00:59:08,198	00:59:10,223	the family that prays together...	the family that prays together...
1202	00:59:10,266	00:59:13,997	It's just that Bertha thinks it's good for public relations.	It's just that Bertha thinks it's good for public relations.
1203	00:59:16,039	00:59:17,506	We mustn't wake him up, not yet...	We mustn't wake him up, not yet...
1204	00:59:17,540	00:59:18,973	because if he catches on, we'll be dead.	because if he catches on, we'll be dead.
1205	00:59:19,008	00:59:19,975	Who?	Who?
1206	00:59:20,009	00:59:20,976	Barney and me.	Barney and me.
1207	00:59:21,010	00:59:22,568	No, I mean, who's gonna catch on?	No, I mean, who's gonna catch on?
1208	00:59:22,612	00:59:23,874	Nobody, I hope.	Nobody, I hope.
1209	00:59:23,913	00:59:25,813	So, shall we...	So, shall we...
1210	00:59:25,848	00:59:27,145	Oh, OK.	Oh, OK.
1211	00:59:27,183	00:59:28,150	No, no.	No, no.
1212	00:59:28,184	00:59:31,915	Not in here. In the bedroom.	Not in here. In the bedroom.
1213	00:59:31,955	00:59:33,286	You name it.	You name it.
1214	00:59:38,027	00:59:40,222	Don't mind me if I'm a little nervous...	Don't mind me if I'm a little nervous...
1215	00:59:40,263	00:59:41,821	but so much depends on this.	but so much depends on this.
1216	00:59:41,864	00:59:42,990	I just hope we can swing it.	I just hope we can swing it.
1217	00:59:43,032	00:59:44,124	We'll do our best.	We'll do our best.
1218	00:59:44,167	00:59:45,395	Thank you.	Thank you.
1219	00:59:47,103	00:59:50,197	Now if you'll just put on one of my wife's dresses.	Now if you'll just put on one of my wife's dresses.
1220	00:59:51,307	00:59:52,433	What for?	What for?
1221	00:59:52,475	00:59:54,102	That's the only way it'll work.	That's the only way it'll work.
1222	00:59:54,143	00:59:56,304	We've got to pretend you're my wife.	We've got to pretend you're my wife.
1223	00:59:58,481	01:00:01,279	What are you, some kind of a weirdie?	What are you, some kind of a weirdie?
1224	01:00:01,317	01:00:02,579	Didn't Barney tell you?	Didn't Barney tell you?
1225	01:00:02,619	01:00:05,087	He didn't tell me to expect anything like this.	He didn't tell me to expect anything like this.
1226	01:00:06,089	01:00:07,750	I'm getting out of here.	I'm getting out of here.
1227	01:00:07,790	01:00:08,916	Now just a second.	Now just a second.
1228	01:00:08,958	01:00:11,324	You know, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.	You know, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
1229	01:00:11,361	01:00:12,953	All those people in the congregation...	All those people in the congregation...
1230	01:00:12,996	01:00:15,692	do they know what you're doing the other six days of the week?	do they know what you're doing the other six days of the week?
1231	01:00:15,732	01:00:16,790	You don't understand.	You don't understand.
1232	01:00:16,833	01:00:19,734	It's not for me. It's for him.	It's not for me. It's for him.
1233	01:00:19,769	01:00:20,861	Who's him?	Who's him?
1234	01:00:20,903	01:00:23,463	Back there. He's asleep.	Back there. He's asleep.
1235	01:00:23,506	01:00:26,634	What are we playing, musical chairs?	What are we playing, musical chairs?
1236	01:00:26,676	01:00:28,974	Barney says it's not for him, it's for a friend of his.	Barney says it's not for him, it's for a friend of his.
1237	01:00:29,012	01:00:31,776	Now you say it's not for you, it's for a friend of yours.	Now you say it's not for you, it's for a friend of yours.
1238	01:00:31,814	01:00:33,247	Oh, but he's not exactly a friend.	Oh, but he's not exactly a friend.
1239	01:00:33,283	01:00:34,750	It's more like a business promotion...	It's more like a business promotion...
1240	01:00:34,784	01:00:36,547	and he likes action all the time.	and he likes action all the time.
1241	01:00:36,586	01:00:39,555	I got nothing against that, but not with Zelda.	I got nothing against that, but not with Zelda.
1242	01:00:39,589	01:00:41,216	Oh. Who's Zelda?	Oh. Who's Zelda?
1243	01:00:41,257	01:00:42,451	You are.	You are.
1244	01:00:42,492	01:00:43,789	Me?	Me?
1245	01:00:43,826	01:00:46,158	It's my wife, but tonight you're her...	It's my wife, but tonight you're her...
1246	01:00:46,195	01:00:48,493	so you're Zelda.	so you're Zelda.
1247	01:00:48,531	01:00:50,999	What did I get myself into?	What did I get myself into?
1248	01:00:51,034	01:00:53,195	Oh, you just wait till you find out who he is.	Oh, you just wait till you find out who he is.
1249	01:00:53,236	01:00:54,203	You'll flip.	You'll flip.
1250	01:00:54,237	01:00:55,431	Huh. I will?	Huh. I will?
1251	01:00:55,471	01:00:56,768	Oh, boy.	Oh, boy.
1252	01:00:56,806	01:00:58,831	So who can it be... Richard Burton?	So who can it be... Richard Burton?
1253	01:00:58,875	01:01:03,039	No, but you're getting warm. Here, try this.	No, but you're getting warm. Here, try this.
1254	01:01:03,079	01:01:06,242	It may be a little tight, but that can't hurt any.	It may be a little tight, but that can't hurt any.
1255	01:01:19,295	01:01:20,762	What's the matter now?	What's the matter now?
1256	01:01:20,797	01:01:22,230	I lost my navel.	I lost my navel.
1257	01:01:22,265	01:01:23,960	Where?	Where?
1258	01:01:24,000	01:01:26,230	I think it rolled under there.	I think it rolled under there.
1259	01:01:55,764	01:01:57,026	Where am I?	Where am I?
1260	01:01:57,066	01:01:58,226	In Climax.	In Climax.
1261	01:01:58,267	01:01:59,393	Where?	Where?
1262	01:01:59,435	01:02:00,402	Don't you remember?	Don't you remember?
1263	01:02:00,436	01:02:02,199	You had that cracked valve?	You had that cracked valve?
1264	01:02:02,238	01:02:03,796	Beethoven?	Beethoven?
1265	01:02:03,839	01:02:05,067	Oh.	Oh.
1266	01:02:05,107	01:02:06,369	What time is it?	What time is it?
1267	01:02:06,408	01:02:09,707	Oh, it's only 4:00, so why don't you go back to sleep?	Oh, it's only 4:00, so why don't you go back to sleep?
1268	01:02:14,783	01:02:17,013	What are you doing down there, anyway?	What are you doing down there, anyway?
1269	01:02:17,052	01:02:19,350	I'm looking for my wife's navel.	I'm looking for my wife's navel.
1270	01:02:19,388	01:02:20,582	Oh.	Oh.
1271	01:03:13,575	01:03:15,042	Looks real nice, Polly.	Looks real nice, Polly.
1272	01:03:15,076	01:03:17,544	Thanks, and the name is Zelda.	Thanks, and the name is Zelda.
1273	01:03:17,579	01:03:19,046	Oh, yes, of course.	Oh, yes, of course.
1274	01:03:19,080	01:03:21,048	Hey, candles.	Hey, candles.
1275	01:03:21,082	01:03:23,550	I found them in the drawer.	I found them in the drawer.
1276	01:03:23,585	01:03:26,850	For intimate dining, candlelight is a romantic must.	For intimate dining, candlelight is a romantic must.
1277	01:03:26,888	01:03:27,877	Oh?	Oh?
1278	01:03:27,923	01:03:29,049	I used to read up on all that stuff...	I used to read up on all that stuff...
1279	01:03:29,090	01:03:30,648	in Ladies' Home Journal...	in Ladies' Home Journal...
1280	01:03:30,692	01:03:33,957	what every bride should know, how to keep your husband happy.	what every bride should know, how to keep your husband happy.
1281	01:03:33,995	01:03:36,463	Say, maybe we should have some place cards.	Say, maybe we should have some place cards.
1282	01:03:36,498	01:03:37,465	I don't think so.	I don't think so.
1283	01:03:37,499	01:03:39,262	There's just the three of us.	There's just the three of us.
1284	01:03:41,603	01:03:43,366	Tell me, how did you and I meet?	Tell me, how did you and I meet?
1285	01:03:43,405	01:03:44,770	What do you mean? Barney brought you.	What do you mean? Barney brought you.
1286	01:03:44,806	01:03:46,273	Oh, no. You and Zelda.	Oh, no. You and Zelda.
1287	01:03:46,308	01:03:47,297	I'm Zelda, remember?	I'm Zelda, remember?
1288	01:03:47,342	01:03:49,037	How did we meet, in case it comes up?	How did we meet, in case it comes up?
1289	01:03:49,077	01:03:50,874	Oh. Well, you were singing in the choir...	Oh. Well, you were singing in the choir...
1290	01:03:50,912	01:03:54,109	and I noticed you right away because you were always off-key.	and I noticed you right away because you were always off-key.
1291	01:03:54,149	01:03:56,083	Hmm. So you kept me after hours.	Hmm. So you kept me after hours.
1292	01:03:56,117	01:03:58,017	I wanted to, but your mother used to watch us like a hawk.	I wanted to, but your mother used to watch us like a hawk.
1293	01:03:58,053	01:03:59,020	She never liked me much.	She never liked me much.
1294	01:03:59,054	01:04:00,021	So?	So?
1295	01:04:00,055	01:04:01,886	So in order to ingratiate myself...	So in order to ingratiate myself...
1296	01:04:01,923	01:04:03,413	you see, she works at the blood bank...	you see, she works at the blood bank...
1297	01:04:03,458	01:04:06,916	I'd go in three times a week and give a pint of blood.	I'd go in three times a week and give a pint of blood.
1298	01:04:06,962	01:04:08,327	Three pints a week?	Three pints a week?
1299	01:04:08,363	01:04:09,591	Well, the other days, I'd sneak over...	Well, the other days, I'd sneak over...
1300	01:04:09,631	01:04:12,759	to the hospital in Silver City and get a transfusion.	to the hospital in Silver City and get a transfusion.
1301	01:04:12,801	01:04:16,794	Boy, you must have been nuts about me.	Boy, you must have been nuts about me.
1302	01:04:16,838	01:04:18,271	I certainly was.	I certainly was.
1303	01:04:18,306	01:04:22,800	And, uh, how did you propose to me?	And, uh, how did you propose to me?
1304	01:04:22,844	01:04:25,574	Well, I wrote this love song...	Well, I wrote this love song...
1305	01:04:25,614	01:04:28,048	and one afternoon while I was tuning your piano...	and one afternoon while I was tuning your piano...
1306	01:04:28,083	01:04:31,519	I played it to you, and that did it.	I played it to you, and that did it.
1307	01:04:33,588	01:04:34,612	Imagine...	Imagine...
1308	01:04:34,656	01:04:37,250	somebody writing a whole song for you.	somebody writing a whole song for you.
1309	01:04:38,760	01:04:42,389	You know, when I was in high school...	You know, when I was in high school...
1310	01:04:42,430	01:04:43,897	there was this boy.	there was this boy.
1311	01:04:43,932	01:04:46,025	He used to write me poems.	He used to write me poems.
1312	01:04:46,067	01:04:47,398	What kind of poems?	What kind of poems?
1313	01:04:47,435	01:04:50,996	In chalk, on sidewalks and fences.	In chalk, on sidewalks and fences.
1314	01:04:51,039	01:04:53,599	Why, I had to go all over town erasing them.	Why, I had to go all over town erasing them.
1315	01:04:54,609	01:04:56,634	Polly... I mean, Zelda...	Polly... I mean, Zelda...
1316	01:04:56,678	01:04:58,646	keep an eye on the meat sauce, will you?	keep an eye on the meat sauce, will you?
1317	01:04:58,680	01:04:59,704	Sure.	Sure.
1318	01:04:59,748	01:05:01,875	I hate to put you to work like this...	I hate to put you to work like this...
1319	01:05:01,917	01:05:02,941	I mean, like a housewife.	I mean, like a housewife.
1320	01:05:02,984	01:05:04,076	Oh, I enjoy it.	Oh, I enjoy it.
1321	01:05:04,119	01:05:05,552	As a matter of fact...	As a matter of fact...
1322	01:05:05,587	01:05:07,214	I was almost a wife once myself.	I was almost a wife once myself.
1323	01:05:07,255	01:05:08,381	Almost?	Almost?
1324	01:05:08,423	01:05:11,085	That's how I happened to wind up in nevada.	That's how I happened to wind up in nevada.
1325	01:05:11,126	01:05:12,525	Where are you from?	Where are you from?
1326	01:05:12,561	01:05:14,722	Jersey City, New Jersey.	Jersey City, New Jersey.
1327	01:05:14,763	01:05:17,527	I was working at the Plaza Hotel as a manicurist...	I was working at the Plaza Hotel as a manicurist...
1328	01:05:17,566	01:05:20,535	and I had this 1,200 bucks my father left me.	and I had this 1,200 bucks my father left me.
1329	01:05:20,569	01:05:23,197	So I was going to open a little beauty shop... my own.	So I was going to open a little beauty shop... my own.
1330	01:05:23,238	01:05:25,399	Then I met this guy.	Then I met this guy.
1331	01:05:26,908	01:05:28,375	This needs more salt.	This needs more salt.
1332	01:05:28,410	01:05:29,377	What guy?	What guy?
1333	01:05:29,411	01:05:34,371	He was a salesman, a hula hoop salesman.	He was a salesman, a hula hoop salesman.
1334	01:05:34,416	01:05:35,849	Remember those things?	Remember those things?
1335	01:05:40,822	01:05:42,687	He wanted to marry me.	He wanted to marry me.
1336	01:05:45,193	01:05:46,558	That figures.	That figures.
1337	01:05:48,663	01:05:50,563	So I bought this secondhand car and trailer.	So I bought this secondhand car and trailer.
1338	01:05:50,599	01:05:53,193	We drove to Nevada, spent the night here.	We drove to Nevada, spent the night here.
1339	01:05:53,234	01:05:57,432	The next day, we were supposed to go to Vegas and get hitched.	The next day, we were supposed to go to Vegas and get hitched.
1340	01:05:57,472	01:06:00,066	Could use some pepper, too.	Could use some pepper, too.
1341	01:06:00,108	01:06:01,666	What happened?	What happened?
1342	01:06:01,710	01:06:03,473	When I woke up in the morning...	When I woke up in the morning...
1343	01:06:03,511	01:06:05,945	the guy was gone, and the car was gone.	the guy was gone, and the car was gone.
1344	01:06:05,981	01:06:07,881	That was it.	That was it.
1345	01:06:07,916	01:06:11,283	You know anybody who can use six dozen plastic hula hoops?	You know anybody who can use six dozen plastic hula hoops?
1346	01:06:11,319	01:06:13,219	They come in assorted colors.	They come in assorted colors.
1347	01:06:13,254	01:06:15,882	You mean he just took off?	You mean he just took off?
1348	01:06:15,924	01:06:18,324	Eh, I should have known he was a fink.	Eh, I should have known he was a fink.
1349	01:06:18,360	01:06:20,157	He had small moons.	He had small moons.
1350	01:06:20,195	01:06:21,856	He had what?	He had what?
1351	01:06:21,896	01:06:25,832	You know, small moons on the fingernails.	You know, small moons on the fingernails.
1352	01:06:27,836	01:06:30,464	Now, you, for instance, you got big moons.	Now, you, for instance, you got big moons.
1353	01:06:30,505	01:06:31,699	Is that good?	Is that good?
1354	01:06:31,740	01:06:33,537	It means you're a gentleman.	It means you're a gentleman.
1355	01:06:33,575	01:06:34,872	When you're a manicurist,	When you're a manicurist,
1356	01:06:34,909	01:06:35,876	you can tell a lot about people...	you can tell a lot about people...
1357	01:06:35,910	01:06:37,400	just from their hands.	just from their hands.
1358	01:06:37,445	01:06:39,174	I never had a manicure in my life.	I never had a manicure in my life.
1359	01:06:39,214	01:06:40,875	Nobody in this town has.	Nobody in this town has.
1360	01:06:40,915	01:06:42,974	That's why I had to take a job at the Belly Button...	That's why I had to take a job at the Belly Button...
1361	01:06:43,018	01:06:45,714	trying to scrape up enough money to get another car.	trying to scrape up enough money to get another car.
1362	01:06:45,754	01:06:47,551	But something always seems to happen.	But something always seems to happen.
1363	01:06:47,589	01:06:49,318	I guess I'm stuck here for good.	I guess I'm stuck here for good.
1364	01:06:49,357	01:06:52,724	A girl like you... I'm sure you'll find some nice guy.	A girl like you... I'm sure you'll find some nice guy.
1365	01:06:52,761	01:06:55,559	Not a chance, unless I get out of this place.	Not a chance, unless I get out of this place.
1366	01:06:55,597	01:06:59,795	Around here, I'm just somebody the bartender recommends.	Around here, I'm just somebody the bartender recommends.
1367	01:06:59,834	01:07:01,324	"Try Polly the Pistol."	"Try Polly the Pistol."
1368	01:07:01,369	01:07:03,963	'S marvelous	'S marvelous
1369	01:07:04,005	01:07:05,472	You should care	You should care
1370	01:07:07,075	01:07:09,305	'S paradise	'S paradise
1371	01:07:20,522	01:07:24,754	'S awful nice, woo, pow	'S awful nice, woo, pow
1372	01:07:24,793	01:07:25,782	Paradise	Paradise
1373	01:07:27,128	01:07:28,095	Let's get ready.	Let's get ready.
1374	01:07:28,129	01:07:29,426	He'll be out in a minute.	He'll be out in a minute.
1375	01:07:29,464	01:07:31,022	I know that voice from someplace.	I know that voice from someplace.
1376	01:07:31,066	01:07:32,795	Of course you do. He's a singer.	Of course you do. He's a singer.
1377	01:07:32,834	01:07:33,801	Who?	Who?
1378	01:07:33,835	01:07:35,325	Now don't flip.	Now don't flip.
1379	01:07:35,370	01:07:36,394	Well, who is it?	Well, who is it?
1380	01:07:36,438	01:07:38,030	It's Dino.	It's Dino.
1381	01:07:38,073	01:07:39,040	Dino?	Dino?
1382	01:07:39,074	01:07:40,041	That's right.	That's right.
1383	01:07:40,075	01:07:41,042	Hmm.	Hmm.
1384	01:07:41,076	01:07:42,168	I like Andy Williams better.	I like Andy Williams better.
1385	01:07:42,210	01:07:44,337	Shh! For heaven's sake, watch it.	Shh! For heaven's sake, watch it.
1386	01:07:44,379	01:07:45,346	You're supposed to be nice to him.	You're supposed to be nice to him.
1387	01:07:45,380	01:07:47,371	Don't worry. I know my job.	Don't worry. I know my job.
1388	01:07:47,415	01:07:49,474	Now let me look at you.	Now let me look at you.
1389	01:07:49,517	01:07:51,610	Maybe we'd better open a couple of buttons.	Maybe we'd better open a couple of buttons.
1390	01:07:51,653	01:07:54,019	Your wife wouldn't do that.	Your wife wouldn't do that.
1391	01:07:54,055	01:07:56,046	I guess not.	I guess not.
1392	01:07:56,091	01:07:58,389	Oh, the ring. You should have a ring.	Oh, the ring. You should have a ring.
1393	01:07:58,426	01:07:59,893	Here, put this on.	Here, put this on.
1394	01:08:01,396	01:08:03,626	You suppose there's a law against this?	You suppose there's a law against this?
1395	01:08:03,665	01:08:05,098	Against what?	Against what?
1396	01:08:05,133	01:08:07,124	Wearing a ring without a license.	Wearing a ring without a license.
1397	01:08:07,168	01:08:08,226	Don't be silly.	Don't be silly.
1398	01:08:08,269	01:08:10,100	Come on, let's go into the living room.	Come on, let's go into the living room.
1399	01:08:12,507	01:08:15,135	Domestic, domestic.	Domestic, domestic.
1400	01:08:15,176	01:08:17,041	We've got to make it look domestic.	We've got to make it look domestic.
1401	01:08:17,078	01:08:20,377	You sit here, and I'll sit here.	You sit here, and I'll sit here.
1402	01:08:22,584	01:08:24,449	No, that's not domestic enough.	No, that's not domestic enough.
1403	01:08:25,687	01:08:28,622	You knit, and I'll read.	You knit, and I'll read.
1404	01:08:28,656	01:08:32,057	Uh... uh, I don't know how to knit.	Uh... uh, I don't know how to knit.
1405	01:08:33,228	01:08:35,992	Well, then you read, and I'll knit.	Well, then you read, and I'll knit.
1406	01:08:37,565	01:08:40,227	No, that's no good.	No, that's no good.
1407	01:08:40,268	01:08:42,133	Now, let me see...	Now, let me see...
1408	01:08:44,606	01:08:47,097	'S wonderful	'S wonderful
1409	01:08:47,142	01:08:50,043	'S marvelous	'S marvelous
1410	01:08:50,078	01:08:54,105	You should care for me	You should care for me
1411	01:08:54,149	01:08:57,277	Mmm, 's awful nice	Mmm, 's awful nice
1412	01:08:57,318	01:08:59,252	Paradise	Paradise
1413	01:09:00,522	01:09:02,888	Hard to see	Hard to see
1414	01:09:21,109	01:09:23,100	Pardon me.	Pardon me.
1415	01:09:23,144	01:09:24,805	Is this the way to Disneyland?	Is this the way to Disneyland?
1416	01:09:26,781	01:09:29,011	Oh, we didn't hear you.	Oh, we didn't hear you.
1417	01:09:30,051	01:09:32,417	This is my wife Zelda.	This is my wife Zelda.
1418	01:09:32,454	01:09:33,751	Howdy, ma'am.	Howdy, ma'am.
1419	01:09:33,788	01:09:35,881	My husband told me you were staying with us.	My husband told me you were staying with us.
1420	01:09:35,924	01:09:37,516	What a delightful surprise.	What a delightful surprise.
1421	01:09:37,559	01:09:38,548	Zelda has all your records.	Zelda has all your records.
1422	01:09:38,593	01:09:40,254	She's a big fan of yours.	She's a big fan of yours.
1423	01:09:40,295	01:09:41,455	I'm a big fan of hers.	I'm a big fan of hers.
1424	01:09:41,496	01:09:43,054	I picked these on the way here.	I picked these on the way here.
1425	01:09:43,098	01:09:45,464	Oh, they're lovely.	Oh, they're lovely.
1426	01:09:45,500	01:09:47,195	Cocktail time. What would you like?	Cocktail time. What would you like?
1427	01:09:47,235	01:09:49,931	Martini? Old fashioned? Vodka on the rocks?	Martini? Old fashioned? Vodka on the rocks?
1428	01:09:49,971	01:09:50,938	No, thanks.	No, thanks.
1429	01:09:50,972	01:09:52,030	Nothing to drink?	Nothing to drink?
1430	01:09:52,073	01:09:54,041	Just a bowl of bourbon and some crackers.	Just a bowl of bourbon and some crackers.
1431	01:09:54,075	01:09:55,975	Bourbon. Good idea.	Bourbon. Good idea.
1432	01:09:56,010	01:09:57,341	How about you, Zelda?	How about you, Zelda?
1433	01:09:57,379	01:09:59,609	Uh, do we have any buttermilk in the house?	Uh, do we have any buttermilk in the house?
1434	01:09:59,647	01:10:01,410	Buttermilk! Coming right up.	Buttermilk! Coming right up.
1435	01:10:06,688	01:10:07,655	Well, just don't...	Well, just don't...
1436	01:10:07,689	01:10:10,852	stand there, you two. Talk.	stand there, you two. Talk.
1437	01:10:10,892	01:10:12,484	Mingle.	Mingle.
1438	01:10:14,095	01:10:15,562	Uh, tell me something.	Uh, tell me something.
1439	01:10:15,597	01:10:17,497	Anything.	Anything.
1440	01:10:17,532	01:10:19,329	How'd you happen to get stranded here?	How'd you happen to get stranded here?
1441	01:10:19,367	01:10:20,925	Oh, just lucky, I guess.	Oh, just lucky, I guess.
1442	01:10:23,605	01:10:25,232	Oops.	Oops.
1443	01:10:25,273	01:10:27,503	You know, that dress dummy don't do you justice...	You know, that dress dummy don't do you justice...
1444	01:10:27,542	01:10:29,169	even with all the padding.	even with all the padding.
1445	01:10:29,210	01:10:31,303	I suppose I've put on a few pounds.	I suppose I've put on a few pounds.
1446	01:10:31,346	01:10:32,711	Well, don't you worry about it.	Well, don't you worry about it.
1447	01:10:32,747	01:10:33,714	As far as I'm concerned...	As far as I'm concerned...
1448	01:10:33,748	01:10:36,478	there couldn't be enough of you...	there couldn't be enough of you...
1449	01:10:36,518	01:10:37,985	baby.	baby.
1450	01:10:38,019	01:10:39,008	Huh.	Huh.
1451	01:10:39,053	01:10:41,578	How much do you think she weighs?	How much do you think she weighs?
1452	01:10:48,997	01:10:50,362	Guess.	Guess.
1453	01:10:54,669	01:10:55,658	May I?	May I?
1454	01:10:56,671	01:10:57,831	Help yourself.	Help yourself.
1455	01:11:06,314	01:11:07,406	115.	115.
1456	01:11:07,449	01:11:09,349	Guess again.	Guess again.
1457	01:11:09,384	01:11:11,545	Glad to.	Glad to.
1458	01:11:17,192	01:11:18,159	120?	120?
1459	01:11:18,193	01:11:19,922	You're getting warm.	You're getting warm.
1460	01:11:19,961	01:11:21,553	Oh, boy.	Oh, boy.
1461	01:11:23,598	01:11:25,589	Oh, that's close enough.	Oh, that's close enough.
1462	01:11:30,205	01:11:31,604	How much you think I weigh?	How much you think I weigh?
1463	01:11:35,743	01:11:36,971	Go ahead, lambchop.	Go ahead, lambchop.
1464	01:11:37,011	01:11:38,239	Take a crack at it.	Take a crack at it.
1465	01:11:38,279	01:11:39,678	Yeah.	Yeah.
1466	01:11:39,714	01:11:41,773	1731/2.	1731/2.
1467	01:11:41,816	01:11:43,750	That's not fair.	That's not fair.
1468	01:11:43,785	01:11:45,685	Right on the nose.	Right on the nose.
1469	01:11:45,720	01:11:46,687	Skol.	Skol.
1470	01:11:46,721	01:11:47,688	What?	What?
1471	01:11:47,722	01:11:48,689	Skol!	Skol!
1472	01:11:48,723	01:11:50,088	Sure, it's cold. It's got ice in it.	Sure, it's cold. It's got ice in it.
1473	01:11:52,193	01:11:53,751	Funny! Funny!	Funny! Funny!
1474	01:11:57,866	01:12:01,097	Well, drink up and be somebody.	Well, drink up and be somebody.
1475	01:12:01,135	01:12:02,602	Why don't we sit down?	Why don't we sit down?
1476	01:12:02,637	01:12:03,604	Why don't we?	Why don't we?
1477	01:12:03,638	01:12:07,938	Ah, lambchop, Dino, and I'll sit back here.	Ah, lambchop, Dino, and I'll sit back here.
1478	01:12:07,976	01:12:09,671	Where'd you get this crazy couch?	Where'd you get this crazy couch?
1479	01:12:09,711	01:12:11,508	Oh, it's been in the family for years.	Oh, it's been in the family for years.
1480	01:12:11,546	01:12:13,275	It's a love seat.	It's a love seat.
1481	01:12:13,314	01:12:16,181	Love seat? For three?	Love seat? For three?
1482	01:12:16,217	01:12:17,775	Victorian, you know.	Victorian, you know.
1483	01:12:17,819	01:12:20,617	Two lovers and a chaperone, but that didn't stop anyone.	Two lovers and a chaperone, but that didn't stop anyone.
1484	01:12:20,655	01:12:23,715	It was usually an old lady, half-deaf, half-blind...	It was usually an old lady, half-deaf, half-blind...
1485	01:12:23,758	01:12:26,386	sitting there and... knitting.	sitting there and... knitting.
1486	01:12:27,595	01:12:28,892	Knitting?	Knitting?
1487	01:12:28,930	01:12:30,090	It's good therapy.	It's good therapy.
1488	01:12:30,131	01:12:31,564	I took it up when I quit smoking.	I took it up when I quit smoking.
1489	01:12:31,599	01:12:32,566	It keeps my hands busy.	It keeps my hands busy.
1490	01:12:32,600	01:12:33,567	You know what they say...	You know what they say...
1491	01:12:33,601	01:12:36,627	the devil finds work for idle hands.	the devil finds work for idle hands.
1492	01:12:56,858	01:12:59,019	What are you knitting?	What are you knitting?
1493	01:12:59,060	01:13:00,527	A sock.	A sock.
1494	01:13:00,562	01:13:02,154	With a turtleneck?	With a turtleneck?
1495	01:13:08,403	01:13:10,064	He's got small moons.	He's got small moons.
1496	01:13:10,104	01:13:11,071	Oh?	Oh?
1497	01:13:11,105	01:13:12,072	I got what?	I got what?
1498	01:13:12,106	01:13:13,573	Oh, it's this theory my wife has.	Oh, it's this theory my wife has.
1499	01:13:13,608	01:13:15,473	If you've got small moons on your nails...	If you've got small moons on your nails...
1500	01:13:15,510	01:13:17,444	you're a gentleman and a scholar.	you're a gentleman and a scholar.
1501	01:13:17,478	01:13:18,445	Interesting.	Interesting.
1502	01:13:18,479	01:13:20,174	Now, you take me. I've got big moons.	Now, you take me. I've got big moons.
1503	01:13:20,214	01:13:23,411	That means I'm a fink.	That means I'm a fink.
1504	01:13:25,053	01:13:26,987	Well, you're only half right about me.	Well, you're only half right about me.
1505	01:13:27,021	01:13:28,249	I'm no scholar.	I'm no scholar.
1506	01:13:28,289	01:13:31,258	Knit one, purl two.	Knit one, purl two.
1507	01:13:31,292	01:13:34,455	Hmm. Something around here smells good.	Hmm. Something around here smells good.
1508	01:13:34,495	01:13:35,826	It's the meat sauce.	It's the meat sauce.
1509	01:13:35,863	01:13:37,057	It's making my mouth water.	It's making my mouth water.
1510	01:13:37,098	01:13:38,497	We also got you some pizza.	We also got you some pizza.
1511	01:13:38,533	01:13:40,933	How about a little antipasto?	How about a little antipasto?
1512	01:13:45,373	01:13:47,739	You'll spoil your appetite.	You'll spoil your appetite.
1513	01:13:47,775	01:13:48,935	You want to bet?	You want to bet?
1514	01:13:52,747	01:13:54,112	Damn!	Damn!
1515	01:13:54,148	01:13:55,479	What's the matter?	What's the matter?
1516	01:13:55,516	01:13:56,710	I've dropped a stitch.	I've dropped a stitch.
1517	01:13:56,751	01:13:58,150	Oh.	Oh.
1518	01:13:59,921	01:14:03,357	You know, you can lose a hand that way.	You know, you can lose a hand that way.
1519	01:14:06,327	01:14:10,661	Did you hear the story about the girl and the lobster?	Did you hear the story about the girl and the lobster?
1520	01:14:10,698	01:14:12,029	No. How does it go?	No. How does it go?
1521	01:14:12,066	01:14:14,034	Well, this girl was sitting in a movie house...	Well, this girl was sitting in a movie house...
1522	01:14:14,068	01:14:16,161	and this guy sat down next to her...	and this guy sat down next to her...
1523	01:14:16,204	01:14:17,694	and they were sitting in the dark...	and they were sitting in the dark...
1524	01:14:17,739	01:14:19,502	and they were watching the picture, see...	and they were watching the picture, see...
1525	01:14:19,540	01:14:21,872	and suddenly she felt something...	and suddenly she felt something...
1526	01:14:21,909	01:14:23,638	crawling up her leg and pinched her.	crawling up her leg and pinched her.
1527	01:14:23,678	01:14:24,645	Ah!	Ah!
1528	01:14:24,679	01:14:25,771	Go on.	Go on.
1529	01:14:25,813	01:14:27,075	Then she felt something crawling again...	Then she felt something crawling again...
1530	01:14:27,115	01:14:28,275	and pinched her again.	and pinched her again.
1531	01:14:28,316	01:14:31,012	She said, "What is the idea of you pinching me?"	She said, "What is the idea of you pinching me?"
1532	01:14:31,052	01:14:34,783	And he said, "Well, it wasn't me.	And he said, "Well, it wasn't me.
1533	01:14:34,822	01:14:35,880	It was my lobster."	It was my lobster."
1534	01:14:35,923	01:14:38,016	His lobster?	His lobster?
1535	01:14:38,059	01:14:39,686	He explained it. He said...	He explained it. He said...
1536	01:14:39,727	01:14:41,558	"A friend of mine gave me a live lobster"...	"A friend of mine gave me a live lobster"...
1537	01:14:41,596	01:14:42,756	and I said, "Gee, that's wonderful.	and I said, "Gee, that's wonderful.
1538	01:14:42,797	01:14:43,991	"I think I'll take it home for dinner."	"I think I'll take it home for dinner."
1539	01:14:44,032	01:14:46,227	He said, "No, it already had dinner.	He said, "No, it already had dinner.
1540	01:14:46,267	01:14:47,928	"Why don't you take it to a movie?"	"Why don't you take it to a movie?"
1541	01:14:50,705	01:14:54,402	Take it to a movie!	Take it to a movie!
1542	01:14:54,442	01:14:55,966	...to a movie.	...to a movie.
1543	01:14:56,010	01:14:58,478	I told you. He's a funny man.	I told you. He's a funny man.
1544	01:14:58,513	01:14:59,912	Yeah. Funny.	Yeah. Funny.
1545	01:15:03,451	01:15:04,611	You got any more stories like that?	You got any more stories like that?
1546	01:15:04,652	01:15:05,846	Yeah. I got...	Yeah. I got...
1547	01:15:05,887	01:15:08,117	Oh, yeah. There was the one about this doctor, you see.	Oh, yeah. There was the one about this doctor, you see.
1548	01:15:08,156	01:15:10,818	He was examining a girl's knee, and he said...	He was examining a girl's knee, and he said...
1549	01:15:10,858	01:15:14,294	"What's a joint like this doing on a pretty girl like you?"	"What's a joint like this doing on a pretty girl like you?"
1550	01:15:16,564	01:15:19,226	Oh! Oh, I got to remember that one.	Oh! Oh, I got to remember that one.
1551	01:15:21,102	01:15:24,071	Excuse me. I've got something on the stove.	Excuse me. I've got something on the stove.
1552	01:15:27,675	01:15:29,575	I think this belongs to you.	I think this belongs to you.
1553	01:15:29,610	01:15:32,738	Me. You. What's the difference?	Me. You. What's the difference?
1554	01:15:32,780	01:15:33,747	Maybe I'd better help you.	Maybe I'd better help you.
1555	01:15:33,781	01:15:34,748	No, no, no, no.	No, no, no, no.
1556	01:15:34,782	01:15:36,750	You stay right where you are, lambchop.	You stay right where you are, lambchop.
1557	01:15:36,784	01:15:37,751	Make him feel at home.	Make him feel at home.
1558	01:15:37,785	01:15:40,413	Show him a little western hospitality.	Show him a little western hospitality.
1559	01:15:41,556	01:15:44,719	We don't want him to have a headache tomorrow.	We don't want him to have a headache tomorrow.
1560	01:15:50,732	01:15:53,963	What is this, Candid Camera?	What is this, Candid Camera?
1561	01:15:54,001	01:15:58,062	You must think my husband is sort of, uh, peculiar.	You must think my husband is sort of, uh, peculiar.
1562	01:15:58,106	01:15:59,630	Oh, no. As a matter of fact...	Oh, no. As a matter of fact...
1563	01:15:59,674	01:16:01,574	I'm getting very fond of him.	I'm getting very fond of him.
1564	01:16:01,609	01:16:02,803	So am I.	So am I.
1565	01:16:02,844	01:16:04,835	And I'm crazy about his wife.	And I'm crazy about his wife.
1566	01:16:04,879	01:16:06,779	Do you know what I'd like right now?	Do you know what I'd like right now?
1567	01:16:06,814	01:16:10,910	Sure. Another bowl of bourbon and crackers.	Sure. Another bowl of bourbon and crackers.
1568	01:16:12,320	01:16:13,378	Tell me something.	Tell me something.
1569	01:16:13,421	01:16:15,685	Anything.	Anything.
1570	01:16:15,723	01:16:18,817	How come he calls you lambchop?	How come he calls you lambchop?
1571	01:16:18,860	01:16:22,887	Maybe it's because I wear paper panties.	Maybe it's because I wear paper panties.
1572	01:16:22,930	01:16:25,364	Paper panties?	Paper panties?
1573	01:16:25,399	01:16:27,890	I also wear a gold ring.	I also wear a gold ring.
1574	01:16:33,574	01:16:35,269	Talk about finks.	Talk about finks.
1575	01:16:35,309	01:16:37,243	This guy's got no moons at all.	This guy's got no moons at all.
1576	01:16:37,278	01:16:38,472	Never mind the moons.	Never mind the moons.
1577	01:16:38,513	01:16:40,708	You should be out there entertaining him.	You should be out there entertaining him.
1578	01:16:40,748	01:16:43,342	What right has he got to treat your wife like that?	What right has he got to treat your wife like that?
1579	01:16:43,384	01:16:44,715	It's a good thing you're not my wife...	It's a good thing you're not my wife...
1580	01:16:44,752	01:16:46,879	or I'd throw him out of the house.	or I'd throw him out of the house.
1581	01:16:47,922	01:16:49,753	Yeah.	Yeah.
1582	01:16:49,791	01:16:52,658	Oh, I'm sorry.	Oh, I'm sorry.
1583	01:16:55,763	01:16:58,288	Paper panties. Ooh.	Paper panties. Ooh.
1584	01:17:03,704	01:17:06,639	Hot stuff. Don't touch.	Hot stuff. Don't touch.
1585	01:17:06,674	01:17:08,403	I can't help myself.	I can't help myself.
1586	01:17:08,442	01:17:11,138	How would you like a macaroni shampoo?	How would you like a macaroni shampoo?
1587	01:17:11,179	01:17:12,203	Anything you say, baby.	Anything you say, baby.
1588	01:17:12,246	01:17:15,807	Sprinkle me with parmesan. Stab me with a breadstick.	Sprinkle me with parmesan. Stab me with a breadstick.
1589	01:17:15,850	01:17:18,114	You're quite an operator, aren't you?	You're quite an operator, aren't you?
1590	01:17:18,152	01:17:20,143	Well, not really, but all we have is just this one night...	Well, not really, but all we have is just this one night...
1591	01:17:20,188	01:17:21,348	so I have to work fast.	so I have to work fast.
1592	01:17:21,389	01:17:24,119	It's sort of an emergency operation.	It's sort of an emergency operation.
1593	01:17:25,126	01:17:28,254	It's that little old winemaker, me!	It's that little old winemaker, me!
1594	01:17:28,296	01:17:30,264	Sit down. Sit down.	Sit down. Sit down.
1595	01:17:30,298	01:17:32,129	You didn't have to go to all this trouble.	You didn't have to go to all this trouble.
1596	01:17:32,166	01:17:33,929	What trouble? I'm very grateful.	What trouble? I'm very grateful.
1597	01:17:33,968	01:17:36,334	You see, this is our fifth wedding anniversary...	You see, this is our fifth wedding anniversary...
1598	01:17:36,370	01:17:37,928	and I forgot to buy my wife a present...	and I forgot to buy my wife a present...
1599	01:17:37,972	01:17:40,463	so instead, she's getting you.	so instead, she's getting you.
1600	01:17:45,346	01:17:46,313	You know what they say...	You know what they say...
1601	01:17:46,347	01:17:49,748	white wine with fish, red wine with lambchop.	white wine with fish, red wine with lambchop.
1602	01:17:58,358	01:18:02,158	Believe me, it's the best thing that could've happened to you.	Believe me, it's the best thing that could've happened to you.
1603	01:18:02,195	01:18:04,857	If I told you once, I told you a thousand times...	If I told you once, I told you a thousand times...
1604	01:18:04,898	01:18:07,423	don't marry him.	don't marry him.
1605	01:18:07,467	01:18:09,458	Orville J. Spooner.	Orville J. Spooner.
1606	01:18:09,502	01:18:11,197	You know what the "j" stands for? Jerk.	You know what the "j" stands for? Jerk.
1607	01:18:11,238	01:18:13,297	That's what he is, a jerk.	That's what he is, a jerk.
1608	01:18:13,340	01:18:15,740	Never made more than sixty dollars a week in his life.	Never made more than sixty dollars a week in his life.
1609	01:18:15,775	01:18:18,175	No ambition, no future.	No ambition, no future.
1610	01:18:18,211	01:18:19,872	When I think that you could've married...	When I think that you could've married...
1611	01:18:19,913	01:18:23,849	Wally Coates... Dr. Wallace Coates...	Wally Coates... Dr. Wallace Coates...
1612	01:18:23,884	01:18:27,684	the second-most-successful chiropractor in Carson City.	the second-most-successful chiropractor in Carson City.
1613	01:18:27,721	01:18:30,451	Henry, stop rocking.	Henry, stop rocking.
1614	01:18:30,490	01:18:34,688	Or take Tom Pringle. He was dying to marry you.	Or take Tom Pringle. He was dying to marry you.
1615	01:18:34,728	01:18:38,858	Only the president of the Junior Chamber of Commerce...	Only the president of the Junior Chamber of Commerce...
1616	01:18:38,899	01:18:42,027	but you let Gladys Bukitsch grab him off.	but you let Gladys Bukitsch grab him off.
1617	01:18:42,068	01:18:43,729	Gladys Bukitsch.	Gladys Bukitsch.
1618	01:18:43,770	01:18:48,139	Four foot six, bad complexion, pigeon-toed.	Four foot six, bad complexion, pigeon-toed.
1619	01:18:48,174	01:18:50,472	I could cry.	I could cry.
1620	01:18:50,510	01:18:52,239	You know what he did for her folks?	You know what he did for her folks?
1621	01:18:52,279	01:18:54,941	Bought them a house in Del Webb's Sun City.	Bought them a house in Del Webb's Sun City.
1622	01:18:54,981	01:18:56,642	So now they're retired...	So now they're retired...
1623	01:18:56,683	01:19:00,619	playing shuffleboard with the other senior citizens.	playing shuffleboard with the other senior citizens.
1624	01:19:00,654	01:19:02,349	Oh, Zelda, Zelda...	Oh, Zelda, Zelda...
1625	01:19:02,389	01:19:03,651	what a mess you made of your life.	what a mess you made of your life.
1626	01:19:03,690	01:19:05,885	That's enough, Mamie. Now leave her alone.	That's enough, Mamie. Now leave her alone.
1627	01:19:05,926	01:19:08,292	Did you say something?	Did you say something?
1628	01:19:08,328	01:19:10,091	Not recently.	Not recently.
1629	01:19:10,130	01:19:12,860	First thing tomorrow, you go and see a lawyer...	First thing tomorrow, you go and see a lawyer...
1630	01:19:12,899	01:19:17,927	Charlie Green, whom you also could've married.	Charlie Green, whom you also could've married.
1631	01:19:17,971	01:19:21,270	You'll have no problem getting a divorce.	You'll have no problem getting a divorce.
1632	01:19:21,308	01:19:22,275	Just wait till I get up there...	Just wait till I get up there...
1633	01:19:22,309	01:19:24,800	and tell the judge how he treated me...	and tell the judge how he treated me...
1634	01:19:24,844	01:19:27,005	slamming the piano cover on my hand...	slamming the piano cover on my hand...
1635	01:19:27,047	01:19:30,744	just because I said he was a no-talent slob.	just because I said he was a no-talent slob.
1636	01:19:32,452	01:19:33,419	Where are you going?	Where are you going?
1637	01:19:33,453	01:19:35,148	Home.	Home.
1638	01:19:35,188	01:19:36,519	Back to Orville?	Back to Orville?
1639	01:19:36,556	01:19:38,114	Yes, mother.	Yes, mother.
1640	01:19:38,158	01:19:40,285	He's so right about you.	He's so right about you.
1641	01:19:40,327	01:19:42,352	You're a mean, loud-mouthed...	You're a mean, loud-mouthed...
1642	01:19:42,395	01:19:45,421	interfering old...	interfering old...
1643	01:19:45,465	01:19:46,989	you want to know what he calls you?	you want to know what he calls you?
1644	01:19:47,033	01:19:48,898	What?	What?
1645	01:19:48,935	01:19:50,664	I better not tell you.	I better not tell you.
1646	01:19:52,772	01:19:54,797	Godzilla?	Godzilla?
1647	01:19:59,512	01:20:02,345	I'd like to propose a toast to my beloved wife...	I'd like to propose a toast to my beloved wife...
1648	01:20:02,382	01:20:03,815	who has stood by me so valiantly...	who has stood by me so valiantly...
1649	01:20:03,850	01:20:06,114	for the last five hours... five years...	for the last five hours... five years...
1650	01:20:06,152	01:20:07,779	and to our distinguished guest...	and to our distinguished guest...
1651	01:20:07,821	01:20:09,982	star of stage, screen, and television...	star of stage, screen, and television...
1652	01:20:10,023	01:20:11,422	a man who needs no introduction...	a man who needs no introduction...
1653	01:20:11,458	01:20:13,016	where is he?	where is he?
1654	01:20:13,059	01:20:15,425	He dropped his napkin again.	He dropped his napkin again.
1655	01:20:17,330	01:20:19,924	It seems I have a very slippery lap.	It seems I have a very slippery lap.
1656	01:20:19,966	01:20:21,797	Slippery lap.	Slippery lap.
1657	01:20:21,835	01:20:23,097	Cheers!	Cheers!
1658	01:20:23,136	01:20:25,434	Oh! In the words of Rossani Brazzi...	Oh! In the words of Rossani Brazzi...
1659	01:20:25,472	01:20:28,930	grazie, grazie.	grazie, grazie.
1660	01:20:28,975	01:20:31,068	Uh, shall we move into the living room?	Uh, shall we move into the living room?
1661	01:20:31,111	01:20:32,601	You go ahead.	You go ahead.
1662	01:20:32,645	01:20:34,010	I'll clear the table.	I'll clear the table.
1663	01:20:34,047	01:20:35,344	No, no, Zelda. Not yet.	No, no, Zelda. Not yet.
1664	01:20:35,382	01:20:36,371	Let's not break up the party.	Let's not break up the party.
1665	01:20:36,416	01:20:37,883	Oh, I'm with you.	Oh, I'm with you.
1666	01:20:37,917	01:20:41,478	Oh, you don't mind if I, uh, bring along a friend?	Oh, you don't mind if I, uh, bring along a friend?
1667	01:20:41,521	01:20:44,115	As long as you don't bring your lobster.	As long as you don't bring your lobster.
1668	01:20:44,157	01:20:46,091	Funny! Funny!	Funny! Funny!
1669	01:20:46,126	01:20:48,253	All right. Everybody line up for a square dance.	All right. Everybody line up for a square dance.
1670	01:20:48,294	01:20:50,228	Square dance?	Square dance?
1671	01:20:50,263	01:20:53,824	We got wine, we got women, and we got songs.	We got wine, we got women, and we got songs.
1672	01:20:53,867	01:20:55,027	What would you like to hear?	What would you like to hear?
1673	01:20:55,068	01:20:56,592	Well, do you know Old Man River?	Well, do you know Old Man River?
1674	01:20:56,636	01:20:58,934	Darling, why don't you play one of your own songs.	Darling, why don't you play one of your own songs.
1675	01:20:58,972	01:20:59,939	One of mine?	One of mine?
1676	01:20:59,973	01:21:02,066	Oh, I wouldn't want to impose on our guest.	Oh, I wouldn't want to impose on our guest.
1677	01:21:02,108	01:21:04,941	Well, how about "Cuddle Up a Little Closer"?	Well, how about "Cuddle Up a Little Closer"?
1678	01:21:04,978	01:21:07,276	I'm sorry, but we have a request from a lady...	I'm sorry, but we have a request from a lady...
1679	01:21:07,313	01:21:08,371	in the balcony.	in the balcony.
1680	01:21:08,415	01:21:09,382	Let's see now.	Let's see now.
1681	01:21:09,416	01:21:11,384	There's this little Italian number we wrote...	There's this little Italian number we wrote...
1682	01:21:11,418	01:21:13,318	which may be of some interest to you.	which may be of some interest to you.
1683	01:21:19,192	01:21:22,525	Every day I sit and pray I	Every day I sit and pray I
1684	01:21:22,562	01:21:25,030	Win you over soon	Win you over soon
1685	01:21:25,065	01:21:27,659	Say yes, won't you?	Say yes, won't you?
1686	01:21:27,700	01:21:29,167	Do you, don't you	Do you, don't you
1687	01:21:29,202	01:21:32,660	Want this world in tune?	Want this world in tune?
1688	01:21:32,705	01:21:36,106	What does it take to persuade you?	What does it take to persuade you?
1689	01:21:36,142	01:21:42,172	And how much more must I serenade you?	And how much more must I serenade you?
1690	01:21:42,215	01:21:45,048	Listen to me, Sophia	Listen to me, Sophia
1691	01:21:45,085	01:21:48,646	Have you any idea	Have you any idea
1692	01:21:48,688	01:21:51,748	How much you mean to me-a?	How much you mean to me-a?
1693	01:21:51,791	01:21:55,887	How much, you'll never know	How much, you'll never know
1694	01:21:55,929	01:21:59,330	If I'm all agitato	If I'm all agitato
1695	01:21:59,365	01:22:03,131	Every heartstring vibrato	Every heartstring vibrato
1696	01:22:03,169	01:22:07,162	Every look passionato	Every look passionato
1697	01:22:07,207	01:22:10,574	Who but you made me so?	Who but you made me so?
1698	01:22:10,610	01:22:14,637	It's love, it's love, crescendo	It's love, it's love, crescendo
1699	01:22:14,681	01:22:19,641	Never, ever diminuendo	Never, ever diminuendo
1700	01:22:19,686	01:22:23,144	Say the word, Sweet Sophia	Say the word, Sweet Sophia
1701	01:22:23,189	01:22:27,148	Or from earth I resign	Or from earth I resign
1702	01:22:27,193	01:22:30,720	Oh, Sophia, be mine	Oh, Sophia, be mine
1703	01:22:32,699	01:22:35,964	Well? What do you think of it, huh?	Well? What do you think of it, huh?
1704	01:22:36,002	01:22:38,835	Oh, it's a grabber, a real grabber.	Oh, it's a grabber, a real grabber.
1705	01:22:38,872	01:22:39,839	It is?	It is?
1706	01:22:39,873	01:22:41,431	Takes one to know one.	Takes one to know one.
1707	01:22:41,474	01:22:42,771	What a great piece of material.	What a great piece of material.
1708	01:22:42,809	01:22:44,936	Boy, what I could do with it.	Boy, what I could do with it.
1709	01:22:46,045	01:22:48,104	You mean you like the song?	You mean you like the song?
1710	01:22:48,148	01:22:49,672	What song? Oh, yeah.	What song? Oh, yeah.
1711	01:22:49,716	01:22:51,343	It's another "Arrivederci, Roma."	It's another "Arrivederci, Roma."
1712	01:22:51,384	01:22:52,351	I'll take it.	I'll take it.
1713	01:22:52,385	01:22:53,352	You'll take it?	You'll take it?
1714	01:22:53,386	01:22:54,944	He'll take it!	He'll take it!
1715	01:22:54,988	01:22:57,081	Did you hear that, darling? He'll take it!	Did you hear that, darling? He'll take it!
1716	01:22:57,157	01:23:00,092	Oh! Stay right where you are, lambchop.	Oh! Stay right where you are, lambchop.
1717	01:23:00,126	01:23:01,115	Play it again.	Play it again.
1718	01:23:01,161	01:23:02,651	Yes, indeedy!	Yes, indeedy!
1719	01:23:11,804	01:23:15,137	Listen to me, Sophia	Listen to me, Sophia
1720	01:23:15,175	01:23:17,075	Have you any idea	Have you any idea
1721	01:23:18,678	01:23:22,136	How much you mean to me-a?	How much you mean to me-a?
1722	01:23:22,182	01:23:24,980	Every day more and more	Every day more and more
1723	01:23:25,018	01:23:28,818	You're sweeter than spumoni	You're sweeter than spumoni
1724	01:23:28,855	01:23:33,417	Sweeter even than zabaglione	Sweeter even than zabaglione
1725	01:23:33,459	01:23:36,485	Say the word, sweet Sophia	Say the word, sweet Sophia
1726	01:23:36,529	01:23:40,260	Let our hearts intertwine	Let our hearts intertwine
1727	01:23:40,300	01:23:42,200	Oh, Sophia, be mine	Oh, Sophia, be mine
1728	01:23:51,511	01:23:53,479	Ole!	Ole!
1729	01:23:53,513	01:23:55,640	Sweet Sophia, be mine	Sweet Sophia, be mine
1730	01:23:55,682	01:23:57,843	Let that honeymoon shine	Let that honeymoon shine
1731	01:23:58,918	01:24:01,546	Pluck the grape from the vine	Pluck the grape from the vine
1732	01:24:02,589	01:24:03,556	Let our hearts	Let our hearts
1733	01:24:03,590	01:24:06,354	Let our hearts intertwine	Let our hearts intertwine
1734	01:24:06,392	01:24:09,225	And put your love on the line	And put your love on the line
1735	01:24:09,262	01:24:11,628	Sweet Sophia, be mine	Sweet Sophia, be mine
1736	01:24:11,664	01:24:14,428	Let the honeymoon shine	Let the honeymoon shine
1737	01:24:14,467	01:24:16,059	Paper panties.	Paper panties.
1738	01:24:21,808	01:24:23,708	Or from earth I resign	Or from earth I resign
1739	01:24:25,511	01:24:27,172	Oh, Sophia, be mine	Oh, Sophia, be mine
1740	01:24:29,281	01:24:30,942	What's going on in there?	What's going on in there?
1741	01:24:33,051	01:24:35,315	Zelda, you're not supposed to be here.	Zelda, you're not supposed to be here.
1742	01:24:35,354	01:24:36,844	Why not? This is my house...	Why not? This is my house...
1743	01:24:36,888	01:24:38,651	and that's my husband, the swinger!	and that's my husband, the swinger!
1744	01:24:38,690	01:24:40,817	Now, now, Zelda, take it easy. I know this looks pretty bad.	Now, now, Zelda, take it easy. I know this looks pretty bad.
1745	01:24:40,859	01:24:43,157	That miserable liar, he was telling me the truth.	That miserable liar, he was telling me the truth.
1746	01:24:43,195	01:24:45,390	No, he wasn't. I mean, the truth is...	No, he wasn't. I mean, the truth is...
1747	01:24:45,430	01:24:47,125	Look, Zelda. There are certain things...	Look, Zelda. There are certain things...
1748	01:24:47,165	01:24:49,190	a man cannot ask his wife to do.	a man cannot ask his wife to do.
1749	01:24:49,234	01:24:51,498	Like what? You mean, now she's gonna drink out of his shoe?	Like what? You mean, now she's gonna drink out of his shoe?
1750	01:24:51,536	01:24:52,662	Oh, she'll do anything.	Oh, she'll do anything.
1751	01:24:52,704	01:24:54,535	You see, she's getting twenty-five bucks.	You see, she's getting twenty-five bucks.
1752	01:24:54,573	01:24:55,540	Twenty-five bucks?	Twenty-five bucks?
1753	01:24:55,574	01:24:57,474	It's an all-night job.	It's an all-night job.
1754	01:24:57,509	01:25:00,103	Well, if that doesn't kill him, I will!	Well, if that doesn't kill him, I will!
1755	01:25:00,145	01:25:02,079	Now, don't blame Orville.	Now, don't blame Orville.
1756	01:25:02,114	01:25:03,411	Actually, the whole thing was my idea...	Actually, the whole thing was my idea...
1757	01:25:03,448	01:25:05,075	I mean, throwing you out of the house.	I mean, throwing you out of the house.
1758	01:25:05,117	01:25:06,106	It was?	It was?
1759	01:25:06,151	01:25:07,778	And that girl... Orville didn't even know her.	And that girl... Orville didn't even know her.
1760	01:25:07,819	01:25:09,446	I brought her around and introduced her to him.	I brought her around and introduced her to him.
1761	01:25:09,488	01:25:10,512	You did?	You did?
1762	01:25:10,555	01:25:11,715	And don't worry about the money it's costing...	And don't worry about the money it's costing...
1763	01:25:11,757	01:25:13,622	because Orville and I, we're going halfsies on this.	because Orville and I, we're going halfsies on this.
1764	01:25:13,659	01:25:14,853	You are?	You are?
1765	01:25:16,328	01:25:17,727	OK, Zelda, hit me if you want to...	OK, Zelda, hit me if you want to...
1766	01:25:17,763	01:25:19,390	but please don't go in there.	but please don't go in there.
1767	01:25:19,431	01:25:20,693	You'll spoil everything.	You'll spoil everything.
1768	01:25:20,732	01:25:22,495	I wouldn't dream of it.	I wouldn't dream of it.
1769	01:25:22,534	01:25:24,627	Atta girl. Now you go back to your mother's...	Atta girl. Now you go back to your mother's...
1770	01:25:24,670	01:25:25,796	until tomorrow morning.	until tomorrow morning.
1771	01:25:25,837	01:25:28,829	I'm going, all right, but not to my mother.	I'm going, all right, but not to my mother.
1772	01:25:35,614	01:25:36,638	Oh, whew.	Oh, whew.
1773	01:25:36,682	01:25:38,946	Ole!	Ole!
1774	01:25:38,984	01:25:41,646	Oh, sweet Sophia, be mine	Oh, sweet Sophia, be mine
1775	01:25:41,687	01:25:43,484	Or from earth I resign	Or from earth I resign
1776	01:25:43,522	01:25:44,511	Let's...	Let's...
1777	01:25:48,660	01:25:50,890	Pardon me. Pardon me.	Pardon me. Pardon me.
1778	01:25:50,929	01:25:53,557	Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I just got carried away.	Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I just got carried away.
1779	01:25:53,598	01:25:54,565	Here.	Here.
1780	01:25:54,599	01:25:55,827	Don't mind me. Go right ahead.	Don't mind me. Go right ahead.
1781	01:25:55,867	01:25:58,131	Western hospitality.	Western hospitality.
1782	01:25:58,170	01:26:00,900	Listen to me, Sophia	Listen to me, Sophia
1783	01:26:00,939	01:26:03,237	Do you realize this is the first song we ever sold?	Do you realize this is the first song we ever sold?
1784	01:26:03,275	01:26:04,674	It's a good thing that valve cracked...	It's a good thing that valve cracked...
1785	01:26:04,710	01:26:05,802	or I'd have never heard it.	or I'd have never heard it.
1786	01:26:05,844	01:26:09,541	Yeah, and I never would have met him... I mean you.	Yeah, and I never would have met him... I mean you.
1787	01:26:09,581	01:26:11,913	Now, look, here's... Orville, kiddo...	Now, look, here's... Orville, kiddo...
1788	01:26:11,950	01:26:14,077	I'll need one copy for my television producer...	I'll need one copy for my television producer...
1789	01:26:14,119	01:26:16,314	and my orchestra leader and my arranger...	and my orchestra leader and my arranger...
1790	01:26:16,355	01:26:17,754	and for the guys from the agency.	and for the guys from the agency.
1791	01:26:17,789	01:26:18,756	Let's see.	Let's see.
1792	01:26:18,790	01:26:21,486	I'll need maybe, like, uh, twelve copies.	I'll need maybe, like, uh, twelve copies.
1793	01:26:21,526	01:26:22,493	How many?	How many?
1794	01:26:22,527	01:26:23,551	I hate to do this to you...	I hate to do this to you...
1795	01:26:23,595	01:26:24,653	but since I'm leaving in the morning...	but since I'm leaving in the morning...
1796	01:26:24,696	01:26:27,494	you'll have to stay up all night making copies.	you'll have to stay up all night making copies.
1797	01:26:27,532	01:26:29,090	Did you say twelve?	Did you say twelve?
1798	01:26:29,134	01:26:31,125	And don't you worry about me or your wife...	And don't you worry about me or your wife...
1799	01:26:31,169	01:26:32,830	we won't bother you.	we won't bother you.
1800	01:26:32,871	01:26:37,035	Maybe we'll go in the garden, and she'll show me her parsley.	Maybe we'll go in the garden, and she'll show me her parsley.
1801	01:26:38,643	01:26:39,701	Here we are. Sophia.	Here we are. Sophia.
1802	01:26:39,745	01:26:42,771	Twelve copies. Isn't that lucky?	Twelve copies. Isn't that lucky?
1803	01:26:44,383	01:26:45,782	Yeah.	Yeah.
1804	01:26:45,817	01:26:47,478	How lucky can you get?	How lucky can you get?
1805	01:26:47,519	01:26:48,679	Oh!	Oh!
1806	01:26:51,957	01:26:53,686	All right, lambchop. Refill the shoes...	All right, lambchop. Refill the shoes...
1807	01:26:53,725	01:26:55,488	and let's have a little more music.	and let's have a little more music.
1808	01:26:55,527	01:26:57,256	What would you like to hear now?	What would you like to hear now?
1809	01:26:57,295	01:26:58,660	"Taps."	"Taps."
1810	01:26:58,697	01:27:00,665	Would you be interested in a nice little waltz?	Would you be interested in a nice little waltz?
1811	01:27:00,699	01:27:03,031	"When it's Pussy Willow Time in Picardy."	"When it's Pussy Willow Time in Picardy."
1812	01:27:03,068	01:27:04,729	I don't think I could do it justice.	I don't think I could do it justice.
1813	01:27:04,770	01:27:06,863	Here's something more lively... what you'd call a novelty.	Here's something more lively... what you'd call a novelty.
1814	01:27:06,905	01:27:08,930	"I'm Taking Mom to the Junior Prom...	"I'm Taking Mom to the Junior Prom...
1815	01:27:08,974	01:27:11,204	"'Cause She's a Better Twister Than my Sister."	"'Cause She's a Better Twister Than my Sister."
1816	01:27:11,243	01:27:13,302	Gets you right here.	Gets you right here.
1817	01:27:14,780	01:27:17,112	Oh, this is it. It's a ballad.	Oh, this is it. It's a ballad.
1818	01:27:17,149	01:27:18,878	I wrote it for Zelda when we were dating.	I wrote it for Zelda when we were dating.
1819	01:27:18,917	01:27:21,408	It means a lot to us.	It means a lot to us.
1820	01:27:40,372	01:27:41,339	Hello?	Hello?
1821	01:27:41,373	01:27:43,603	Orville, are you out of your mind?	Orville, are you out of your mind?
1822	01:27:43,642	01:27:45,701	What are you trying to do, ruin us?	What are you trying to do, ruin us?
1823	01:27:45,744	01:27:48,178	What do you mean? I'm doing great.	What do you mean? I'm doing great.
1824	01:27:48,213	01:27:49,305	I just sold him the Italian number.	I just sold him the Italian number.
1825	01:27:49,347	01:27:51,110	You didn't sell anything.	You didn't sell anything.
1826	01:27:51,149	01:27:52,514	The broad sold it.	The broad sold it.
1827	01:27:52,551	01:27:53,848	So get out of the house, already.	So get out of the house, already.
1828	01:27:53,885	01:27:56,251	Leave the two of them alone.	Leave the two of them alone.
1829	01:27:56,288	01:27:57,550	Oh?	Oh?
1830	01:27:57,589	01:27:58,556	Oh.	Oh.
1831	01:27:58,590	01:28:02,151	Make some excuse and beat it, or we'll blow the whole deal.	Make some excuse and beat it, or we'll blow the whole deal.
1832	01:28:02,194	01:28:03,422	Roger.	Roger.
1833	01:28:06,431	01:28:08,797	Oh, that was Roger from the bowling alley.	Oh, that was Roger from the bowling alley.
1834	01:28:08,834	01:28:10,062	I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you.	I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you.
1835	01:28:10,101	01:28:11,363	Bad news?	Bad news?
1836	01:28:11,403	01:28:13,598	I forgot this is Saturday... bowling night.	I forgot this is Saturday... bowling night.
1837	01:28:13,638	01:28:15,333	Why didn't you remind me, Zelda?	Why didn't you remind me, Zelda?
1838	01:28:15,373	01:28:17,000	I'm sorry.	I'm sorry.
1839	01:28:17,042	01:28:18,532	You see, I'm on the Climax team.	You see, I'm on the Climax team.
1840	01:28:18,577	01:28:21,102	We've got this big grudge match against Silver City.	We've got this big grudge match against Silver City.
1841	01:28:21,146	01:28:23,307	So I'm afraid I'll have to leave you alone.	So I'm afraid I'll have to leave you alone.
1842	01:28:23,348	01:28:24,940	What are you afraid of?	What are you afraid of?
1843	01:28:24,983	01:28:26,678	Nothing, really.	Nothing, really.
1844	01:28:26,718	01:28:28,447	I'm sure you'll look after my wife...	I'm sure you'll look after my wife...
1845	01:28:28,487	01:28:30,512	and she'll look after you.	and she'll look after you.
1846	01:28:30,555	01:28:31,817	Excuse me.	Excuse me.
1847	01:28:36,094	01:28:39,791	Something tells me we're gonna have a ball.	Something tells me we're gonna have a ball.
1848	01:28:40,799	01:28:42,232	Won't we, lambchop?	Won't we, lambchop?
1849	01:28:55,747	01:28:58,545	Oh! The way these matches drag on...	Oh! The way these matches drag on...
1850	01:28:58,583	01:29:01,848	I may be gone for hours, so don't even wait up for me.	I may be gone for hours, so don't even wait up for me.
1851	01:29:01,887	01:29:02,911	We'll be rooting for you.	We'll be rooting for you.
1852	01:29:06,424	01:29:08,619	No, darling. E flat.	No, darling. E flat.
1853	01:29:10,729	01:29:13,027	Would you play it for me before you go?	Would you play it for me before you go?
1854	01:29:13,064	01:29:16,431	I haven't heard it for a long time.	I haven't heard it for a long time.
1855	01:29:17,702	01:29:18,691	Sure.	Sure.
1856	01:29:20,539	01:29:22,564	You don't want to miss the first inning...	You don't want to miss the first inning...
1857	01:29:22,607	01:29:24,973	or the first chukker or whatever you call it.	or the first chukker or whatever you call it.
1858	01:29:25,010	01:29:26,170	Just one chorus.	Just one chorus.
1859	01:29:33,885	01:29:36,513	All the livelong day	All the livelong day
1860	01:29:36,555	01:29:40,013	And the long, long night	And the long, long night
1861	01:29:40,058	01:29:43,653	What do I do-oo-oo?	What do I do-oo-oo?
1862	01:29:43,695	01:29:47,859	Dream about you-oo-oo	Dream about you-oo-oo
1863	01:29:47,899	01:29:53,929	Felt this way the first time you came in sight	Felt this way the first time you came in sight
1864	01:29:53,972	01:30:01,105	Suddenly my gloomy old sky turned magically bright	Suddenly my gloomy old sky turned magically bright
1865	01:30:02,314	01:30:06,148	You'll find we're perfect casting	You'll find we're perfect casting
1866	01:30:06,184	01:30:09,642	You and I	You and I
1867	01:30:09,688	01:30:13,146	With love that's everlasting	With love that's everlasting
1868	01:30:13,191	01:30:15,659	Will I leave you ever?	Will I leave you ever?
1869	01:30:15,694	01:30:18,993	Never, never, never	Never, never, never
1870	01:30:19,030	01:30:26,664	All I live for now is to hold you tight	All I live for now is to hold you tight
1871	01:30:26,705	01:30:29,674	All the livelong day	All the livelong day
1872	01:30:29,708	01:30:34,611	And the long, long night	And the long, long night
1873	01:30:45,223	01:30:47,191	Waiteress!	Waiteress!
1874	01:30:47,225	01:30:49,557	Hey, waiteress!	Hey, waiteress!
1875	01:30:55,233	01:30:57,224	Another Bloody Mary...	Another Bloody Mary...
1876	01:30:59,170	01:31:03,573	and drinks for everybody in the orchestra.	and drinks for everybody in the orchestra.
1877	01:31:06,444	01:31:08,207	Fellas!	Fellas!
1878	01:31:08,246	01:31:10,840	Hey, fellas.	Hey, fellas.
1879	01:31:10,882	01:31:13,373	Play "Melancholy Baby."	Play "Melancholy Baby."
1880	01:31:23,161	01:31:24,685	Fellas...	Fellas...
1881	01:31:24,729	01:31:26,594	didn't you hear me?	didn't you hear me?
1882	01:31:26,631	01:31:30,158	I said, play "Melancholy Baby."	I said, play "Melancholy Baby."
1883	01:31:30,201	01:31:32,169	Come on now, everybody.	Come on now, everybody.
1884	01:31:32,203	01:31:34,034	Shape up!	Shape up!
1885	01:31:39,210	01:31:40,700	Eighty-six.	Eighty-six.
1886	01:31:43,214	01:31:46,672	Look, honey, don't you think you had enough?	Look, honey, don't you think you had enough?
1887	01:31:46,718	01:31:48,208	No.	No.
1888	01:31:51,222	01:31:52,689	It's my anniversary.	It's my anniversary.
1889	01:31:52,724	01:31:55,192	I've been married five years today.	I've been married five years today.
1890	01:31:55,226	01:31:58,195	Now, why don't you go home and celebrate with your husband?	Now, why don't you go home and celebrate with your husband?
1891	01:31:58,229	01:32:00,629	Oh, no. He's busy.	Oh, no. He's busy.
1892	01:32:00,665	01:32:03,133	You know, I could have married...	You know, I could have married...
1893	01:32:03,168	01:32:06,137	the second-most-successful chiropractor in Carson City.	the second-most-successful chiropractor in Carson City.
1894	01:32:06,171	01:32:11,165	Instead, I married Orville J... "j" for jerk... Spooner.	Instead, I married Orville J... "j" for jerk... Spooner.
1895	01:32:15,180	01:32:17,011	I think I'm going to be sick.	I think I'm going to be sick.
1896	01:32:17,048	01:32:19,448	Uh-huh. All right, but not in here, honey.	Uh-huh. All right, but not in here, honey.
1897	01:32:19,484	01:32:21,543	Come on.	Come on.
1898	01:32:21,586	01:32:23,645	That's it. Grab her.	That's it. Grab her.
1899	01:32:23,688	01:32:25,383	That's a girl.	That's a girl.
1900	01:32:28,693	01:32:30,661	Sick, sick, sick.	Sick, sick, sick.
1901	01:32:30,695	01:32:32,424	Shall I call a cab?	Shall I call a cab?
1902	01:32:32,464	01:32:34,432	We can't send her home in this condition.	We can't send her home in this condition.
1903	01:32:34,466	01:32:35,763	Don't you know who she is?	Don't you know who she is?
1904	01:32:35,800	01:32:37,028	I've seen her in church.	I've seen her in church.
1905	01:32:37,068	01:32:38,035	She's the organist's wife...	She's the organist's wife...
1906	01:32:38,069	01:32:39,934	and we're in enough trouble already.	and we're in enough trouble already.
1907	01:32:39,971	01:32:40,960	This way.	This way.
1908	01:32:49,214	01:32:50,272	Bang.	Bang.
1909	01:32:58,156	01:32:59,589	Where's this plane going to?	Where's this plane going to?
1910	01:32:59,624	01:33:00,648	This isn't a plane.	This isn't a plane.
1911	01:33:00,692	01:33:02,284	You're in Polly's trailer.	You're in Polly's trailer.
1912	01:33:02,327	01:33:03,658	Hello, Polly.	Hello, Polly.
1913	01:33:03,695	01:33:04,662	She's gone for the night.	She's gone for the night.
1914	01:33:04,696	01:33:07,130	You can sleep it off here.	You can sleep it off here.
1915	01:33:07,165	01:33:08,632	Hang on, everybody.	Hang on, everybody.
1916	01:33:08,666	01:33:10,657	Fasten your seat belts.	Fasten your seat belts.
1917	01:33:25,250	01:33:29,311	No chance you're taking chances	No chance you're taking chances
1918	01:33:29,354	01:33:33,154	Taking me on	Taking me on
1919	01:33:33,191	01:33:37,150	Believe me when this man says	Believe me when this man says
1920	01:33:37,195	01:33:41,154	Summer, spring, and fall-time	Summer, spring, and fall-time
1921	01:33:41,199	01:33:45,158	You're my one and all-time	You're my one and all-time
1922	01:33:45,203	01:33:51,870	All I live for now is to hold you tight	All I live for now is to hold you tight
1923	01:33:54,546	01:33:57,674	All the livelong day	All the livelong day
1924	01:33:57,715	01:34:03,654	And the long, long night	And the long, long night
1925	01:34:05,156	01:34:06,680	I bet it would sound even prettier...	I bet it would sound even prettier...
1926	01:34:06,724	01:34:10,125	with like... like twenty violins.	with like... like twenty violins.
1927	01:34:10,161	01:34:12,925	And a whole chorus of voices.	And a whole chorus of voices.
1928	01:34:18,670	01:34:20,638	Well, time to go.	Well, time to go.
1929	01:34:20,672	01:34:21,639	Go where?	Go where?
1930	01:34:21,673	01:34:22,640	Bowling.	Bowling.
1931	01:34:22,674	01:34:24,642	Oh. Have a good time.	Oh. Have a good time.
1932	01:34:24,676	01:34:27,144	No, not me. You, remember?	No, not me. You, remember?
1933	01:34:27,178	01:34:29,146	You got a match.	You got a match.
1934	01:34:29,180	01:34:30,647	Oh, sure.	Oh, sure.
1935	01:34:30,682	01:34:33,651	No. A bowling match against Silver City.	No. A bowling match against Silver City.
1936	01:34:33,685	01:34:35,653	And don't worry about the songs.	And don't worry about the songs.
1937	01:34:35,687	01:34:36,915	I'll buy this one, too.	I'll buy this one, too.
1938	01:34:36,955	01:34:38,980	Oh, I'm sorry. It's not for sale.	Oh, I'm sorry. It's not for sale.
1939	01:34:41,159	01:34:42,990	You can have "Sophia" or any of the others.	You can have "Sophia" or any of the others.
1940	01:34:43,027	01:34:44,654	What "Sophia"?	What "Sophia"?
1941	01:34:44,696	01:34:47,164	That Italian number you were so crazy about.	That Italian number you were so crazy about.
1942	01:34:47,198	01:34:48,324	Oh, that.	Oh, that.
1943	01:34:48,366	01:34:50,163	I don't think we should talk business now.	I don't think we should talk business now.
1944	01:34:50,201	01:34:52,431	I can see you two have different things on your minds.	I can see you two have different things on your minds.
1945	01:34:52,470	01:34:53,835	So we'll discuss it some other time.	So we'll discuss it some other time.
1946	01:34:53,872	01:34:55,100	Like when?	Like when?
1947	01:34:55,139	01:34:57,164	Oh, the next time I come through town...	Oh, the next time I come through town...
1948	01:34:57,208	01:34:59,108	on my way from Vegas...	on my way from Vegas...
1949	01:34:59,143	01:35:01,976	if there's a detour and if my car breaks down.	if there's a detour and if my car breaks down.
1950	01:35:02,013	01:35:03,002	Fair enough.	Fair enough.
1951	01:35:03,047	01:35:04,742	I don't think that's fair at all.	I don't think that's fair at all.
1952	01:35:04,782	01:35:06,613	Bye.	Bye.
1953	01:35:06,651	01:35:08,482	Hold it.	Hold it.
1954	01:35:11,656	01:35:14,523	Orville, you better run along...	Orville, you better run along...
1955	01:35:14,559	01:35:18,120	'cause it's not fair to yourself or to your team.	'cause it's not fair to yourself or to your team.
1956	01:35:18,162	01:35:19,629	My team?	My team?
1957	01:35:19,664	01:35:21,962	Why, Barney and everybody.	Why, Barney and everybody.
1958	01:35:22,967	01:35:25,629	You don't want to let them down, do you?	You don't want to let them down, do you?
1959	01:35:25,670	01:35:27,661	I guess I shouldn't.	I guess I shouldn't.
1960	01:35:28,673	01:35:33,167	Oh, uh, you better put this on. It gets chilly later.	Oh, uh, you better put this on. It gets chilly later.
1961	01:35:35,179	01:35:37,147	She worries about me.	She worries about me.
1962	01:35:37,181	01:35:40,014	That's what a wife is for.	That's what a wife is for.
1963	01:35:41,686	01:35:43,677	Will you be all right, darling?	Will you be all right, darling?
1964	01:35:43,721	01:35:44,688	Well, of course she will.	Well, of course she will.
1965	01:35:44,722	01:35:46,952	I'll help her with the dishes and everything.	I'll help her with the dishes and everything.
1966	01:35:46,991	01:35:50,222	After all, we don't want her to have ants in the morning.	After all, we don't want her to have ants in the morning.
1967	01:35:53,698	01:35:56,428	Are you sure you want to be alone with this guy?	Are you sure you want to be alone with this guy?
1968	01:35:56,467	01:35:59,868	Look, mister, I got a job to do, and you're in the way.	Look, mister, I got a job to do, and you're in the way.
1969	01:36:01,940	01:36:03,430	Good-bye, darling.	Good-bye, darling.
1970	01:36:13,950	01:36:15,417	Come on.	Come on.
1971	01:36:15,451	01:36:17,442	Come on!	Come on!
1972	01:36:21,958	01:36:22,925	What took you so long?	What took you so long?
1973	01:36:22,959	01:36:25,621	I thought I'd have to come in and drag you out.	I thought I'd have to come in and drag you out.
1974	01:36:27,964	01:36:29,932	I've been doing some thinking.	I've been doing some thinking.
1975	01:36:29,966	01:36:31,024	Now, before he records that song...	Now, before he records that song...
1976	01:36:31,067	01:36:33,297	his lawyers are gonna send us a contract...	his lawyers are gonna send us a contract...
1977	01:36:33,336	01:36:35,429	standard royalties, a set a copy...	standard royalties, a set a copy...
1978	01:36:35,471	01:36:36,938	but we hold out...	but we hold out...
1979	01:36:36,973	01:36:38,099	because if we can get another of our songs...	because if we can get another of our songs...
1980	01:36:38,140	01:36:41,234	on the other side of the record, that doubles our royalties.	on the other side of the record, that doubles our royalties.
1981	01:36:41,277	01:36:43,939	Why let somebody else cash in on our hit?	Why let somebody else cash in on our hit?
1982	01:36:43,980	01:36:47,074	And if it's a big hit, maybe he'll do the whole album.	And if it's a big hit, maybe he'll do the whole album.
1983	01:36:47,116	01:36:50,882	"Dino Sings Millsap and Spooner."	"Dino Sings Millsap and Spooner."
1984	01:36:50,920	01:36:52,945	All right. So it's Spooner and Millsap.	All right. So it's Spooner and Millsap.
1985	01:36:52,989	01:36:55,924	Who cares so long as it sells a million copies?	Who cares so long as it sells a million copies?
1986	01:36:55,958	01:36:57,448	Then we get a gold record.	Then we get a gold record.
1987	01:36:57,493	01:36:59,324	Maybe we win a Grammy award.	Maybe we win a Grammy award.
1988	01:36:59,362	01:37:01,296	Then come the personal appearances...	Then come the personal appearances...
1989	01:37:01,330	01:37:02,729	Ed Sullivan!	Ed Sullivan!
1990	01:37:02,765	01:37:04,995	Policemen are holding the crowds back.	Policemen are holding the crowds back.
1991	01:37:05,034	01:37:06,365	Ooh! Ooh!	Ooh! Ooh!
1992	01:37:06,402	01:37:07,562	They're throwing jellybeans at us.	They're throwing jellybeans at us.
1993	01:37:07,603	01:37:09,730	He's got a hell of a nerve.	He's got a hell of a nerve.
1994	01:37:09,772	01:37:10,739	Huh?	Huh?
1995	01:37:10,773	01:37:13,606	Does he really think he can buy my wife for a song?	Does he really think he can buy my wife for a song?
1996	01:37:13,642	01:37:15,007	What wife? What are you talking about?	What wife? What are you talking about?
1997	01:37:15,044	01:37:16,011	She's not your wife.	She's not your wife.
1998	01:37:16,045	01:37:19,242	Him and his rat pack, they think they own the earth...	Him and his rat pack, they think they own the earth...
1999	01:37:19,281	01:37:22,079	riding around in their white chariots raping and looting...	riding around in their white chariots raping and looting...
2000	01:37:22,118	01:37:23,949	and wearing cuffs on their sleeves.	and wearing cuffs on their sleeves.
2001	01:37:23,986	01:37:25,214	Orville, pull yourself together.	Orville, pull yourself together.
2002	01:37:25,254	01:37:27,245	To them, we're just a bunch of squares...	To them, we're just a bunch of squares...
2003	01:37:27,289	01:37:28,551	straight men, civilians!	straight men, civilians!
2004	01:37:28,591	01:37:30,081	Any time they want to move in...	Any time they want to move in...
2005	01:37:30,126	01:37:31,923	we're supposed to run up the white flag...	we're supposed to run up the white flag...
2006	01:37:31,961	01:37:35,453	hand over our homes and our wives and our liquor!	hand over our homes and our wives and our liquor!
2007	01:37:36,632	01:37:38,930	Oh, no, you don't!	Oh, no, you don't!
2008	01:37:38,968	01:37:40,959	Orville!	Orville!
2009	01:38:05,795	01:38:07,353	Forget something?	Forget something?
2010	01:38:07,396	01:38:10,024	So you're helping my wife with the dishes?	So you're helping my wife with the dishes?
2011	01:38:10,066	01:38:13,558	Ha! Who's washing, and who's drying?	Ha! Who's washing, and who's drying?
2012	01:38:13,602	01:38:17,060	One thing I can't stand is a sneaky husband.	One thing I can't stand is a sneaky husband.
2013	01:38:17,106	01:38:19,074	Big Hollywood hotshot.	Big Hollywood hotshot.
2014	01:38:19,108	01:38:21,668	You think you can walk in here and snap your fingers...	You think you can walk in here and snap your fingers...
2015	01:38:21,710	01:38:24,144	and I'll serve my wife to you on a silver platter...	and I'll serve my wife to you on a silver platter...
2016	01:38:24,180	01:38:26,341	with an apple in her mouth.	with an apple in her mouth.
2017	01:38:26,382	01:38:27,679	Get out of here.	Get out of here.
2018	01:38:27,716	01:38:30,150	Orville, please!	Orville, please!
2019	01:38:30,186	01:38:31,915	He doesn't mean it.	He doesn't mean it.
2020	01:38:31,954	01:38:33,717	You heard me.	You heard me.
2021	01:38:33,756	01:38:36,224	O-u-t.	O-u-t.
2022	01:38:36,258	01:38:37,225	Out!	Out!
2023	01:38:37,259	01:38:38,487	Take it easy. E-a-z-y.	Take it easy. E-a-z-y.
2024	01:38:38,527	01:38:40,995	Get out of here, or I'll throw you out.	Get out of here, or I'll throw you out.
2025	01:38:41,030	01:38:42,998	I'm going to count to five.	I'm going to count to five.
2026	01:38:43,032	01:38:45,057	One, two...	One, two...
2027	01:38:45,101	01:38:46,966	What happened to western hospitality?	What happened to western hospitality?
2028	01:38:47,002	01:38:48,060	Four...	Four...
2029	01:38:48,104	01:38:49,594	five.	five.
2030	01:38:53,609	01:38:55,270	Orville!	Orville!
2031	01:38:57,279	01:38:59,770	Stop it, both of you!	Stop it, both of you!
2032	01:39:10,993	01:39:13,689	Are you all right? Don't mind him.	Are you all right? Don't mind him.
2033	01:39:13,729	01:39:15,629	He gets these fits once in a while.	He gets these fits once in a while.
2034	01:39:15,664	01:39:17,825	He just goes crazy and starts attacking people...	He just goes crazy and starts attacking people...
2035	01:39:17,867	01:39:19,698	milkmen and dentists and pupils and...	milkmen and dentists and pupils and...
2036	01:39:19,735	01:39:20,702	Oh.	Oh.
2037	01:39:20,736	01:39:23,204	Are you hurt? Is anything broken?	Are you hurt? Is anything broken?
2038	01:39:23,239	01:39:24,706	No. I'm OK...	No. I'm OK...
2039	01:39:24,740	01:39:28,232	but I'm gonna have such a headache tomorrow.	but I'm gonna have such a headache tomorrow.
2040	01:39:32,181	01:39:35,673	If you want action, buddy, go to the Belly Button...	If you want action, buddy, go to the Belly Button...
2041	01:39:35,718	01:39:38,949	but don't try to muscle in on a happy home.	but don't try to muscle in on a happy home.
2042	01:39:45,261	01:39:46,728	Is my car ready?	Is my car ready?
2043	01:39:46,762	01:39:47,888	Just about.	Just about.
2044	01:39:47,930	01:39:49,591	Look. This isn't going to make...	Look. This isn't going to make...
2045	01:39:49,632	01:39:51,259	any difference about the song, is it?	any difference about the song, is it?
2046	01:39:51,300	01:39:53,325	I mean, you still like it?	I mean, you still like it?
2047	01:39:53,369	01:39:54,336	Where is that place?	Where is that place?
2048	01:39:54,370	01:39:55,337	What place?	What place?
2049	01:39:55,371	01:39:57,839	The Belly Button.	The Belly Button.
2050	01:40:01,710	01:40:03,177	The swine.	The swine.
2051	01:40:03,212	01:40:05,203	I fixed him good.	I fixed him good.
2052	01:40:07,216	01:40:08,683	Big idiot.	Big idiot.
2053	01:40:08,717	01:40:10,685	I'll say he is.	I'll say he is.
2054	01:40:10,719	01:40:12,983	I mean you.	I mean you.
2055	01:40:13,022	01:40:15,718	You fixed yourself good.	You fixed yourself good.
2056	01:40:15,758	01:40:17,191	You had everything going for you...	You had everything going for you...
2057	01:40:17,226	01:40:18,557	and you went and loused it up.	and you went and loused it up.
2058	01:40:18,594	01:40:19,686	Why?	Why?
2059	01:40:19,728	01:40:22,424	I didn't want him to think you were a pushover.	I didn't want him to think you were a pushover.
2060	01:40:22,464	01:40:24,398	What difference does it make?	What difference does it make?
2061	01:40:24,433	01:40:27,197	One man more or less in my life.	One man more or less in my life.
2062	01:40:29,438	01:40:31,963	I'm Polly the Pistol, remember?	I'm Polly the Pistol, remember?
2063	01:40:32,007	01:40:35,101	I come highly recommended by the bartender.	I come highly recommended by the bartender.
2064	01:40:35,144	01:40:38,204	Well, I'm not the bartender, and you're not Polly...	Well, I'm not the bartender, and you're not Polly...
2065	01:40:38,247	01:40:39,475	not tonight.	not tonight.
2066	01:40:40,015	01:40:43,951	Tonight, we're Mr. And Mrs. Orville J. Spooner.	Tonight, we're Mr. And Mrs. Orville J. Spooner.
2067	01:40:51,727	01:40:53,251	Look at this mess.	Look at this mess.
2068	01:40:57,666	01:40:59,099	What does the "j" stand for?	What does the "j" stand for?
2069	01:40:59,134	01:41:00,123	James?	James?
2070	01:41:01,103	01:41:02,695	No.	No.
2071	01:41:04,206	01:41:05,673	Joseph?	Joseph?
2072	01:41:05,707	01:41:07,197	Uh-uh.	Uh-uh.
2073	01:41:08,710	01:41:10,200	Jasper?	Jasper?
2074	01:41:12,047	01:41:13,537	Jeremiah.	Jeremiah.
2075	01:41:14,716	01:41:17,412	I'm sorry I asked.	I'm sorry I asked.
2076	01:41:29,097	01:41:30,894	Don't throw that away.	Don't throw that away.
2077	01:41:30,932	01:41:33,196	There may be a deposit on it.	There may be a deposit on it.
2078	01:41:33,235	01:41:34,725	All right, dear.	All right, dear.
2079	01:42:01,196	01:42:03,790	Cold getting worse?	Cold getting worse?
2080	01:42:03,832	01:42:05,925	It's not my cold.	It's not my cold.
2081	01:42:10,205	01:42:13,174	It's been a long day, hasn't it?	It's been a long day, hasn't it?
2082	01:42:13,208	01:42:14,698	Yes, dear.	Yes, dear.
2083	01:42:29,224	01:42:31,317	Coming, Mrs. Spooner?	Coming, Mrs. Spooner?
2084	01:43:27,215	01:43:30,150	Hey, pal. Those gorgeous cocktail waitresses...	Hey, pal. Those gorgeous cocktail waitresses...
2085	01:43:30,185	01:43:31,311	I heard so much about...	I heard so much about...
2086	01:43:31,353	01:43:32,320	Yes, sir?	Yes, sir?
2087	01:43:32,354	01:43:33,321	Where are they?	Where are they?
2088	01:43:33,355	01:43:34,686	This is it.	This is it.
2089	01:43:34,723	01:43:35,690	You must be kidding.	You must be kidding.
2090	01:43:35,724	01:43:37,589	I've seen better navels on oranges.	I've seen better navels on oranges.
2091	01:43:37,626	01:43:39,218	Take that redhead over there.	Take that redhead over there.
2092	01:43:39,261	01:43:41,195	She was runner-up to Miss Nevada.	She was runner-up to Miss Nevada.
2093	01:43:41,229	01:43:43,493	What year? Come on, pal.	What year? Come on, pal.
2094	01:43:43,531	01:43:45,192	Where do you keep the real stuff?	Where do you keep the real stuff?
2095	01:43:45,233	01:43:48,066	The most popular one around here is Polly the Pistol.	The most popular one around here is Polly the Pistol.
2096	01:43:48,103	01:43:49,365	Polly the Pistol?	Polly the Pistol?
2097	01:43:49,404	01:43:51,372	You can't go wrong with her.	You can't go wrong with her.
2098	01:43:51,406	01:43:53,374	Fastest draw in the west.	Fastest draw in the west.
2099	01:43:53,408	01:43:55,876	Now you're talking. Where is she?	Now you're talking. Where is she?
2100	01:43:55,911	01:43:57,776	Must be her night off.	Must be her night off.
2101	01:43:57,812	01:43:58,972	Oh, that's too bad...	Oh, that's too bad...
2102	01:43:59,014	01:44:01,448	because I'd sure like to shoot it out with her.	because I'd sure like to shoot it out with her.
2103	01:44:01,483	01:44:03,041	Why don't you try the trailer?	Why don't you try the trailer?
2104	01:44:03,084	01:44:05,314	That's where she lives, right behind the place.	That's where she lives, right behind the place.
2105	01:44:05,353	01:44:06,320	Which way?	Which way?
2106	01:44:06,354	01:44:07,651	That-a-way.	That-a-way.
2107	01:44:07,689	01:44:08,656	That way?	That way?
2108	01:44:08,690	01:44:11,158	Well, if I'm not back by morning...	Well, if I'm not back by morning...
2109	01:44:11,192	01:44:12,557	you send a posse out after me.	you send a posse out after me.
2110	01:44:35,717	01:44:36,706	Bang!	Bang!
2111	01:44:45,560	01:44:47,050	Open up!	Open up!
2112	01:44:49,030	01:44:50,224	I know you're in there.	I know you're in there.
2113	01:44:52,200	01:44:56,102	We got the place surrounded, and I'm coming in to get you.	We got the place surrounded, and I'm coming in to get you.
2114	01:44:57,105	01:44:59,972	Who is it?	Who is it?
2115	01:45:00,008	01:45:02,602	The Lone Ranger.	The Lone Ranger.
2116	01:45:04,679	01:45:06,146	What do you want?	What do you want?
2117	01:45:06,181	01:45:07,910	I told you. I'm lone.	I told you. I'm lone.
2118	01:45:07,949	01:45:10,144	I'm so lone like you wouldn't believe.	I'm so lone like you wouldn't believe.
2119	01:45:10,185	01:45:12,278	Go away!	Go away!
2120	01:45:12,320	01:45:15,653	That's no way to treat a customer.	That's no way to treat a customer.
2121	01:45:15,690	01:45:17,749	Where do you keep your glasses?	Where do you keep your glasses?
2122	01:45:22,731	01:45:28,192	Are you going to get out, or do I have to call for help?	Are you going to get out, or do I have to call for help?
2123	01:45:28,236	01:45:32,104	From what I hear, you don't need any help, Polly baby.	From what I hear, you don't need any help, Polly baby.
2124	01:45:35,209	01:45:36,767	You're...	You're...
2125	01:45:36,810	01:45:37,777	you're Dino.	you're Dino.
2126	01:45:37,811	01:45:39,904	No names, please.	No names, please.
2127	01:45:39,947	01:45:42,347	I thought I saw you driving through town.	I thought I saw you driving through town.
2128	01:45:42,383	01:45:44,351	I didn't make it. My car broke down.	I didn't make it. My car broke down.
2129	01:45:44,385	01:45:46,853	They put me up with some piano teacher.	They put me up with some piano teacher.
2130	01:45:46,887	01:45:49,321	Piano... Orville Spooner?	Piano... Orville Spooner?
2131	01:45:49,356	01:45:51,256	That's the joker.	That's the joker.
2132	01:45:53,727	01:45:55,718	What an evening.	What an evening.
2133	01:45:55,763	01:45:56,821	What happened?	What happened?
2134	01:45:56,864	01:45:59,196	Ah, these amateurs, what they won't do to sell a song.	Ah, these amateurs, what they won't do to sell a song.
2135	01:45:59,233	01:46:00,791	He kept throwing his wife at me.	He kept throwing his wife at me.
2136	01:46:00,834	01:46:01,823	His wife?	His wife?
2137	01:46:01,869	01:46:03,632	Yeah. Get the scene?	Yeah. Get the scene?
2138	01:46:03,670	01:46:04,796	I'm beginning to.	I'm beginning to.
2139	01:46:04,838	01:46:06,897	Not a bad-looking dame, if you like home cooking...	Not a bad-looking dame, if you like home cooking...
2140	01:46:06,940	01:46:08,601	but me, I like to eat out...	but me, I like to eat out...
2141	01:46:08,642	01:46:10,473	you know, Chinese one night...	you know, Chinese one night...
2142	01:46:10,511	01:46:12,240	a little French cuisine another...	a little French cuisine another...
2143	01:46:12,279	01:46:15,214	and a little delicatessen in between.	and a little delicatessen in between.
2144	01:46:15,249	01:46:16,876	Drink up, baby.	Drink up, baby.
2145	01:46:18,618	01:46:20,609	What song did he play you?	What song did he play you?
2146	01:46:20,654	01:46:22,781	"Sophia"?	"Sophia"?
2147	01:46:22,822	01:46:24,255	How did you know?	How did you know?
2148	01:46:24,291	01:46:26,122	Did you like it?	Did you like it?
2149	01:46:26,159	01:46:27,717	I need another Italian song...	I need another Italian song...
2150	01:46:27,761	01:46:29,991	like a giraffe needs a strep throat.	like a giraffe needs a strep throat.
2151	01:46:31,865	01:46:34,265	Well, I think Orville has a lot of talent.	Well, I think Orville has a lot of talent.
2152	01:46:34,301	01:46:36,064	You know him?	You know him?
2153	01:46:37,070	01:46:38,935	See him almost every night.	See him almost every night.
2154	01:46:38,972	01:46:40,405	He's one of my regulars.	He's one of my regulars.
2155	01:46:42,275	01:46:45,301	That mousy little guy with the Beethoven on his chest?	That mousy little guy with the Beethoven on his chest?
2156	01:46:45,345	01:46:47,711	No. He's a real swinger.	No. He's a real swinger.
2157	01:46:48,715	01:46:51,047	What do you think you're doing?	What do you think you're doing?
2158	01:46:52,052	01:46:53,076	Guess.	Guess.
2159	01:46:56,356	01:46:58,881	No coaching from the audience.	No coaching from the audience.
2160	01:46:59,893	01:47:04,091	Look. You don't understand. This is my night off.	Look. You don't understand. This is my night off.
2161	01:47:05,498	01:47:07,398	Well, it's my night on, Polly, baby...	Well, it's my night on, Polly, baby...
2162	01:47:07,434	01:47:11,097	and if you're worried about money, I tip large.	and if you're worried about money, I tip large.
2163	01:47:18,745	01:47:23,307	Anyway, in my opinion, you're all wrong for it.	Anyway, in my opinion, you're all wrong for it.
2164	01:47:23,350	01:47:26,342	I'm all wrong for what?	I'm all wrong for what?
2165	01:47:26,386	01:47:27,512	That song.	That song.
2166	01:47:27,554	01:47:28,612	I told Orville he should send it...	I told Orville he should send it...
2167	01:47:28,655	01:47:30,282	to Bobby Darin or Elvis.	to Bobby Darin or Elvis.
2168	01:47:30,323	01:47:31,551	Elvis who?	Elvis who?
2169	01:47:31,591	01:47:33,559	I suppose you never heard of the Beatles, either.	I suppose you never heard of the Beatles, either.
2170	01:47:33,593	01:47:36,528	Oh, sure, and I can sing better than all three of them.	Oh, sure, and I can sing better than all three of them.
2171	01:47:36,563	01:47:37,621	There are four of them.	There are four of them.
2172	01:47:37,664	01:47:38,722	Oh, haven't you heard?	Oh, haven't you heard?
2173	01:47:38,765	01:47:40,232	One of them got his hair caught in his guitar...	One of them got his hair caught in his guitar...
2174	01:47:40,266	01:47:41,699	and was electrocuted.	and was electrocuted.
2175	01:47:41,735	01:47:43,396	You can make jokes about them...	You can make jokes about them...
2176	01:47:43,436	01:47:45,336	but they're young and they're popular...	but they're young and they're popular...
2177	01:47:45,372	01:47:46,896	while you...	while you...
2178	01:47:46,940	01:47:48,805	What about me?	What about me?
2179	01:47:48,842	01:47:51,106	Let's face it. You're over the hill.	Let's face it. You're over the hill.
2180	01:47:51,144	01:47:53,237	Sure do know how to hurt a fella.	Sure do know how to hurt a fella.
2181	01:47:53,279	01:47:54,837	I'm sorry, but can you imagine...	I'm sorry, but can you imagine...
2182	01:47:54,881	01:47:56,872	what Jack Jones could do with that song?	what Jack Jones could do with that song?
2183	01:47:56,916	01:47:58,042	What?	What?
2184	01:47:58,084	01:48:00,882	Listen to me, Sophia	Listen to me, Sophia
2185	01:48:00,920	01:48:02,353	Have you any idea	Have you any idea
2186	01:48:02,389	01:48:03,356	Now look, lady.	Now look, lady.
2187	01:48:03,390	01:48:04,414	You may have heard a lot of singers...	You may have heard a lot of singers...
2188	01:48:04,457	01:48:07,517	but you ain't heard nothing sung till you heard me sung it.	but you ain't heard nothing sung till you heard me sung it.
2189	01:48:07,560	01:48:10,688	Oh, listen to me, Sophia	Oh, listen to me, Sophia
2190	01:48:10,730	01:48:13,699	Have you any idea	Have you any idea
2191	01:48:13,733	01:48:17,692	How much you mean to me-a?	How much you mean to me-a?
2192	01:48:17,737	01:48:22,401	How much, you'll never know	How much, you'll never know
2193	01:48:22,442	01:48:24,171	Then, of course, there's Robert Goulet.	Then, of course, there's Robert Goulet.
2194	01:48:24,210	01:48:27,145	If I'm all agitato	If I'm all agitato
2195	01:48:27,180	01:48:29,978	Every heartstring vibrato	Every heartstring vibrato
2196	01:48:30,016	01:48:33,918	Every kiss passionato	Every kiss passionato
2197	01:48:33,953	01:48:35,284	And Eddie Fisher.	And Eddie Fisher.
2198	01:48:35,321	01:48:38,654	Oh, Sophia, be mine	Oh, Sophia, be mine
2199	01:48:38,692	01:48:42,389	Sweet Sophia, be mine	Sweet Sophia, be mine
2200	01:49:26,773	01:49:29,640	Oh, Sophia, be mine	Oh, Sophia, be mine
2201	01:49:30,643	01:49:33,168	Sweet Sophia, be mine	Sweet Sophia, be mine
2202	01:49:53,566	01:49:55,033	Dino!	Dino!
2203	01:49:55,068	01:49:58,504	Hey, Dino! Dino!	Hey, Dino! Dino!
2204	01:49:58,538	01:50:00,028	Dino!	Dino!
2205	01:50:30,003	01:50:33,996	Well, good-bye, Mr. Spooner.	Well, good-bye, Mr. Spooner.
2206	01:50:36,009	01:50:37,977	What's the matter?	What's the matter?
2207	01:50:38,011	01:50:39,979	I'm contemplating.	I'm contemplating.
2208	01:50:40,013	01:50:41,480	Contemplating what?	Contemplating what?
2209	01:50:41,514	01:50:42,981	Suicide.	Suicide.
2210	01:50:43,016	01:50:44,984	What are you talking about?	What are you talking about?
2211	01:50:45,018	01:50:46,485	Look at me...	Look at me...
2212	01:50:46,519	01:50:49,977	yesterday, a solid citizen, a blood donor...	yesterday, a solid citizen, a blood donor...
2213	01:50:50,023	01:50:55,984	a signer of petitions, and today, the way of all flesh.	a signer of petitions, and today, the way of all flesh.
2214	01:50:56,029	01:51:02,059	Nonsense. You spent the night with Mrs. Spooner, remember?	Nonsense. You spent the night with Mrs. Spooner, remember?
2215	01:51:02,101	01:51:03,466	Yeah.	Yeah.
2216	01:51:04,470	01:51:05,960	That's right.	That's right.
2217	01:51:07,974	01:51:09,407	Here you are.	Here you are.
2218	01:51:09,442	01:51:10,932	What's that?	What's that?
2219	01:51:10,977	01:51:12,103	It's your pay.	It's your pay.
2220	01:51:12,145	01:51:15,046	You know, the deal we made? Twenty-five dollars?	You know, the deal we made? Twenty-five dollars?
2221	01:51:15,081	01:51:18,448	You wouldn't pay your wife, would you?	You wouldn't pay your wife, would you?
2222	01:51:18,484	01:51:20,679	But you need the money if you're saving up for that car.	But you need the money if you're saving up for that car.
2223	01:51:20,720	01:51:21,687	What car?	What car?
2224	01:51:21,721	01:51:23,348	I gave up on that a long time ago.	I gave up on that a long time ago.
2225	01:51:23,389	01:51:25,254	I'll never get out of this town.	I'll never get out of this town.
2226	01:51:25,291	01:51:26,588	Don't say that.	Don't say that.
2227	01:51:26,626	01:51:28,116	Oh, you don't have to worry.	Oh, you don't have to worry.
2228	01:51:28,161	01:51:30,493	If we ever run into each other...	If we ever run into each other...
2229	01:51:30,530	01:51:33,465	I'll pretend I never even met you.	I'll pretend I never even met you.
2230	01:51:33,499	01:51:34,989	Thanks.	Thanks.
2231	01:51:36,502	01:51:38,493	Nice to have met you.	Nice to have met you.
2232	01:51:40,006	01:51:43,464	I wish there were something I could do for you.	I wish there were something I could do for you.
2233	01:51:43,509	01:51:45,477	You've done a lot.	You've done a lot.
2234	01:51:45,511	01:51:49,777	For instance, you cured me of my cold.	For instance, you cured me of my cold.
2235	01:51:49,816	01:51:51,181	Bye.	Bye.
2236	01:52:13,473	01:52:16,806	You're just in time. I'm making coffee.	You're just in time. I'm making coffee.
2237	01:52:17,911	01:52:19,538	Would you like some?	Would you like some?
2238	01:52:20,747	01:52:22,442	Don't look so surprised.	Don't look so surprised.
2239	01:52:22,482	01:52:25,212	You took my place last night, so I took yours.	You took my place last night, so I took yours.
2240	01:52:25,251	01:52:27,014	It's that simple.	It's that simple.
2241	01:52:29,322	01:52:30,789	Oh, then you must be Mrs...	Oh, then you must be Mrs...
2242	01:52:30,823	01:52:32,120	That's right.	That's right.
2243	01:52:32,158	01:52:33,819	Where do you keep the cups?	Where do you keep the cups?
2244	01:52:39,265	01:52:43,292	Look. Whatever your husband did, he did it for you.	Look. Whatever your husband did, he did it for you.
2245	01:52:43,336	01:52:46,328	Whatever I did, I did it for him.	Whatever I did, I did it for him.
2246	01:52:48,841	01:52:51,002	I've never stayed in a trailer before.	I've never stayed in a trailer before.
2247	01:52:51,044	01:52:53,103	It's really quite cozy.	It's really quite cozy.
2248	01:52:53,146	01:52:56,707	I liked your house, especially that big kitchen.	I liked your house, especially that big kitchen.
2249	01:52:56,749	01:52:58,307	I made waffles this morning.	I made waffles this morning.
2250	01:52:58,351	01:53:00,285	I'll bet there was no syrup.	I'll bet there was no syrup.
2251	01:53:00,320	01:53:02,811	I opened up a jar of your preserves.	I opened up a jar of your preserves.
2252	01:53:02,855	01:53:07,258	You know, it was sort of fun being a wife for a night.	You know, it was sort of fun being a wife for a night.
2253	01:53:07,293	01:53:08,760	And for one night...	And for one night...
2254	01:53:08,795	01:53:11,764	it was fun being Polly the Pistol.	it was fun being Polly the Pistol.
2255	01:53:11,798	01:53:13,891	Oh.	Oh.
2256	01:53:13,933	01:53:15,798	This belongs to you.	This belongs to you.
2257	01:53:15,835	01:53:16,824	Me?	Me?
2258	01:53:18,805	01:53:20,432	Five hundred dollars?	Five hundred dollars?
2259	01:53:20,473	01:53:22,771	Large spender from out of town.	Large spender from out of town.
2260	01:53:22,809	01:53:25,300	Why don't I ever meet anybody like that?	Why don't I ever meet anybody like that?
2261	01:53:25,345	01:53:26,437	I think you did...	I think you did...
2262	01:53:26,479	01:53:27,878	but you were married at the time.	but you were married at the time.
2263	01:53:27,914	01:53:31,816	You really want to give this to me?	You really want to give this to me?
2264	01:53:31,851	01:53:34,820	I'll swap you for that ring.	I'll swap you for that ring.
2265	01:53:34,854	01:53:39,814	Oh, sorry. I forgot.	Oh, sorry. I forgot.
2266	01:53:39,859	01:53:41,793	And if you should find a loose navel...	And if you should find a loose navel...
2267	01:53:41,828	01:53:44,592	floating around the house, it's mine.	floating around the house, it's mine.
2268	01:53:44,630	01:53:46,996	I'm not going back home.	I'm not going back home.
2269	01:53:47,033	01:53:48,227	You're not?	You're not?
2270	01:53:48,267	01:53:49,825	I'm moving in with my folks.	I'm moving in with my folks.
2271	01:53:51,437	01:53:52,961	Maybe I shouldn't butt in...	Maybe I shouldn't butt in...
2272	01:53:53,006	01:53:55,531	but I think you're making a mistake.	but I think you're making a mistake.
2273	01:53:55,575	01:54:00,512	If I were you... and I was... I wouldn't leave Orville.	If I were you... and I was... I wouldn't leave Orville.
2274	01:54:00,546	01:54:04,744	A woman without a man is like a trailer without a car.	A woman without a man is like a trailer without a car.
2275	01:54:04,784	01:54:06,251	You ain't going nowhere.	You ain't going nowhere.
2276	01:54:06,285	01:54:10,517	So when you find a good guy, you should stick to him.	So when you find a good guy, you should stick to him.
2277	01:54:10,556	01:54:14,424	I deal with married men all the time, the heels.	I deal with married men all the time, the heels.
2278	01:54:14,460	01:54:17,918	Believe me, you got a wonderful husband.	Believe me, you got a wonderful husband.
2279	01:54:17,964	01:54:21,263	I know that, but he'll be an even better husband...	I know that, but he'll be an even better husband...
2280	01:54:21,300	01:54:22,460	when I get through with him.	when I get through with him.
2281	01:54:26,806	01:54:29,673	What was that about a loose navel?	What was that about a loose navel?
2282	01:55:12,418	01:55:14,147	- Hi there, Mr. Spooner. - Hi.	- Hi there, Mr. Spooner. - Hi.
2283	01:55:14,186	01:55:15,210	Mrs. Spooner around?	Mrs. Spooner around?
2284	01:55:15,254	01:55:16,744	- Why? - I was just wondering.	- Why? - I was just wondering.
2285	01:55:16,789	01:55:18,586	For the last three days, she hasn't ordered anything...	For the last three days, she hasn't ordered anything...
2286	01:55:18,624	01:55:20,421	no milk, no butter, no eggs.	no milk, no butter, no eggs.
2287	01:55:20,459	01:55:23,053	Well, we've been eating out.	Well, we've been eating out.
2288	01:55:23,095	01:55:24,619	I... I mean, she's been eating out.	I... I mean, she's been eating out.
2289	01:55:24,664	01:55:25,653	As a matter of fact...	As a matter of fact...
2290	01:55:25,698	01:55:26,722	she's been living out with her parents...	she's been living out with her parents...
2291	01:55:26,766	01:55:28,597	but it's only temporary.	but it's only temporary.
2292	01:55:28,634	01:55:30,499	Just a little misunderstanding.	Just a little misunderstanding.
2293	01:55:30,536	01:55:32,629	You know how it is with married...	You know how it is with married...
2294	01:55:33,673	01:55:35,538	none of your damn business!	none of your damn business!
2295	01:56:41,340	01:56:42,967	Oh, it's you.	Oh, it's you.
2296	01:56:43,008	01:56:45,135	Didn't I tell you to stay away from here?	Didn't I tell you to stay away from here?
2297	01:56:45,177	01:56:47,077	Wait a minute, Orville. I've got a message for you.	Wait a minute, Orville. I've got a message for you.
2298	01:56:47,113	01:56:48,842	Big genius.	Big genius.
2299	01:56:48,881	01:56:50,371	"We're going to be rich," you said.	"We're going to be rich," you said.
2300	01:56:50,416	01:56:52,407	"Just get rid of your wife for one night."	"Just get rid of your wife for one night."
2301	01:56:52,451	01:56:54,681	Well, I got rid of her, all right. Permanently!	Well, I got rid of her, all right. Permanently!
2302	01:56:54,720	01:56:55,687	She doesn't want to see me.	She doesn't want to see me.
2303	01:56:55,721	01:56:56,847	She doesn't want to talk to me.	She doesn't want to talk to me.
2304	01:56:56,889	01:56:58,117	That's what I'm trying to tell you.	That's what I'm trying to tell you.
2305	01:56:58,157	01:56:59,715	I've got a message from Zelda.	I've got a message from Zelda.
2306	01:56:59,759	01:57:02,785	You fat, miserable, no-good slob!	You fat, miserable, no-good slob!
2307	01:57:02,828	01:57:04,056	Get lost!	Get lost!
2308	01:57:08,667	01:57:09,895	What message?	What message?
2309	01:57:09,935	01:57:11,562	So I'm a fat slob, huh?	So I'm a fat slob, huh?
2310	01:57:11,604	01:57:12,901	Well, come on. Come on.	Well, come on. Come on.
2311	01:57:12,938	01:57:14,496	I just talked to Zelda.	I just talked to Zelda.
2312	01:57:14,540	01:57:15,632	She wants to see you.	She wants to see you.
2313	01:57:15,674	01:57:17,107	- She does? - Uh-huh.	- She does? - Uh-huh.
2314	01:57:17,143	01:57:18,838	Oh, you beautiful man!	Oh, you beautiful man!
2315	01:57:18,878	01:57:20,140	Where? When?	Where? When?
2316	01:57:20,179	01:57:22,739	8:00 tonight at her lawyer's.	8:00 tonight at her lawyer's.
2317	01:57:22,782	01:57:23,749	Her lawyer?	Her lawyer?
2318	01:57:23,783	01:57:25,182	Charlie Green. You know, upstairs...	Charlie Green. You know, upstairs...
2319	01:57:25,217	01:57:26,946	over Pringle's hardware store.	over Pringle's hardware store.
2320	01:57:26,986	01:57:27,953	Why?	Why?
2321	01:57:27,987	01:57:30,012	Why do you think? Divorce.	Why do you think? Divorce.
2322	01:57:30,055	01:57:31,283	Divorce?	Divorce?
2323	01:57:31,323	01:57:33,257	Oh, Barney, this is crazy. I love her.	Oh, Barney, this is crazy. I love her.
2324	01:57:33,292	01:57:34,452	I know...	I know...
2325	01:57:34,493	01:57:37,690	but that's the way she wants it.	but that's the way she wants it.
2326	01:57:37,730	01:57:40,699	Why don't you just bring me a five-gallon can of gasoline...	Why don't you just bring me a five-gallon can of gasoline...
2327	01:57:40,733	01:57:41,700	and a match?	and a match?
2328	01:57:41,734	01:57:43,065	That's no way to talk...	That's no way to talk...
2329	01:57:43,102	01:57:44,592	because I'm gonna be there, too...	because I'm gonna be there, too...
2330	01:57:44,637	01:57:46,070	as a witness.	as a witness.
2331	01:57:46,105	01:57:48,300	Oh, good.	Oh, good.
2332	01:57:48,340	01:57:50,205	Then you can swear how it was all your idea...	Then you can swear how it was all your idea...
2333	01:57:50,242	01:57:51,470	that you put me up to it.	that you put me up to it.
2334	01:57:51,510	01:57:53,137	You don't understand, Orville.	You don't understand, Orville.
2335	01:57:53,179	01:57:56,114	I'm going to be a witness for her.	I'm going to be a witness for her.
2336	01:57:56,148	01:57:57,274	For her?	For her?
2337	01:57:57,316	01:58:00,683	The way you treated that poor girl.	The way you treated that poor girl.
2338	01:58:00,719	01:58:03,711	You shouldn't have done it, Orville.	You shouldn't have done it, Orville.
2339	01:58:03,756	01:58:05,519	I shouldn't?	I shouldn't?
2340	01:58:05,558	01:58:09,050	Why, you fat, miserable slob.	Why, you fat, miserable slob.
2341	01:58:09,094	01:58:12,257	See you at the lawyer's at 8:00 sharp.	See you at the lawyer's at 8:00 sharp.
2342	01:58:43,262	01:58:45,890	Zelda, before we go up there, I've got to talk to you.	Zelda, before we go up there, I've got to talk to you.
2343	01:58:45,931	01:58:47,592	I warn you, you're not to make any statements...	I warn you, you're not to make any statements...
2344	01:58:47,633	01:58:49,362	except in the presence of your lawyer.	except in the presence of your lawyer.
2345	01:58:49,401	01:58:50,800	You shut up!	You shut up!
2346	01:58:50,836	01:58:52,861	The way I treated you was unforgivable...	The way I treated you was unforgivable...
2347	01:58:52,905	01:58:53,963	but if you'll forgive me...	but if you'll forgive me...
2348	01:58:54,006	01:58:55,701	everything will be different from now on.	everything will be different from now on.
2349	01:58:55,741	01:58:56,935	There will be no more jealousy...	There will be no more jealousy...
2350	01:58:56,976	01:58:59,604	no more suspicion, no more cross-examining.	no more suspicion, no more cross-examining.
2351	01:58:59,645	01:59:01,112	And your eyes are not pink.	And your eyes are not pink.
2352	01:59:01,146	01:59:02,977	Too little and too late.	Too little and too late.
2353	01:59:03,015	01:59:05,245	We've drawn up a temporary property settlement.	We've drawn up a temporary property settlement.
2354	01:59:05,284	01:59:06,512	You get the piano...	You get the piano...
2355	01:59:06,552	01:59:08,986	the pictures of Beethoven, and the classical records.	the pictures of Beethoven, and the classical records.
2356	01:59:09,021	01:59:12,548	She gets the popular records, the bed, and the love seat.	She gets the popular records, the bed, and the love seat.
2357	01:59:12,591	01:59:14,058	Let's go.	Let's go.
2358	01:59:14,093	01:59:16,527	Zelda, remember five years ago...	Zelda, remember five years ago...
2359	01:59:16,562	01:59:18,553	when we exchanged wedding rings...	when we exchanged wedding rings...
2360	01:59:18,597	01:59:22,590	we promised for richer, poorer, better, worse?	we promised for richer, poorer, better, worse?
2361	01:59:22,635	01:59:24,034	Where is your ring?	Where is your ring?
2362	01:59:24,069	01:59:26,594	My ring? Oh, yeah.	My ring? Oh, yeah.
2363	01:59:26,639	01:59:28,903	You want to know where it is?	You want to know where it is?
2364	01:59:28,941	01:59:29,908	It's in the shower.	It's in the shower.
2365	01:59:29,942	01:59:31,409	Slipped off, went down the drain.	Slipped off, went down the drain.
2366	01:59:31,443	01:59:33,604	You see, I've lost a lot of weight since you left.	You see, I've lost a lot of weight since you left.
2367	01:59:35,414	01:59:36,574	What's that song they're playing?	What's that song they're playing?
2368	01:59:36,615	01:59:37,843	Stick to the subject...	Stick to the subject...
2369	01:59:37,883	01:59:39,214	the case of the missing ring.	the case of the missing ring.
2370	01:59:39,251	01:59:40,809	Don't worry, Zelda. I'll get it back.	Don't worry, Zelda. I'll get it back.
2371	01:59:40,853	01:59:43,344	Maybe with a string and a piece of chewing gum...	Maybe with a string and a piece of chewing gum...
2372	01:59:43,389	01:59:46,187	or better yet, we'll... we'll call a plumber.	or better yet, we'll... we'll call a plumber.
2373	01:59:50,129	01:59:53,257	Either that's "Sophia," or somebody stole it from us.	Either that's "Sophia," or somebody stole it from us.
2374	01:59:53,299	01:59:55,358	And now, the star of our show...	And now, the star of our show...
2375	01:59:55,401	01:59:57,892	direct from a successful appearance at the bar...	direct from a successful appearance at the bar...
2376	01:59:57,937	01:59:59,131	Dino.	Dino.
2377	01:59:59,171	02:00:00,638	Dino?	Dino?
2378	02:00:03,475	02:00:06,808	Listen to me, Sophia	Listen to me, Sophia
2379	02:00:08,013	02:00:10,743	Have you any idea	Have you any idea
2380	02:00:12,084	02:00:16,145	How much you mean to me-a?	How much you mean to me-a?
2381	02:00:16,188	02:00:19,419	How much, you'll never know	How much, you'll never know
2382	02:00:20,826	02:00:23,920	If I'm all agitato	If I'm all agitato
2383	02:00:25,030	02:00:28,591	Every heartstring vibrato	Every heartstring vibrato
2384	02:00:28,634	02:00:29,828	I don't understand it.	I don't understand it.
2385	02:00:29,868	02:00:31,529	Why would he sing our song after what I did to him?	Why would he sing our song after what I did to him?
2386	02:00:31,570	02:00:33,094	I guess the bigger they are...	I guess the bigger they are...
2387	02:00:33,138	02:00:34,605	the nicer they are.	the nicer they are.
2388	02:00:34,640	02:00:36,972	Who but you made me so?	Who but you made me so?
2389	02:00:37,009	02:00:39,170	Look at it. It's on all twelve sets!	Look at it. It's on all twelve sets!
2390	02:00:39,211	02:00:41,008	Twelve sets, my eye.	Twelve sets, my eye.
2391	02:00:41,046	02:00:43,207	Thirty million people are watching this show.	Thirty million people are watching this show.
2392	02:00:43,248	02:00:46,149	A Nielsen rating of 21.7.	A Nielsen rating of 21.7.
2393	02:00:46,185	02:00:47,914	Did you hear that, darling? Do you know what this means?	Did you hear that, darling? Do you know what this means?
2394	02:00:47,953	02:00:49,011	Sure.	Sure.
2395	02:00:49,054	02:00:50,715	I'll have Charlie Green ask for more alimony.	I'll have Charlie Green ask for more alimony.
2396	02:00:50,756	02:00:52,656	- Zelda! - Shh.	- Zelda! - Shh.
2397	02:00:52,691	02:00:54,556	I can't hear my words.	I can't hear my words.
2398	02:00:54,593	02:00:58,996	Or from earth I resign	Or from earth I resign
2399	02:00:59,031	02:01:03,593	Oh, Sophia, be mine	Oh, Sophia, be mine
2400	02:01:09,908	02:01:12,172	Thank you. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.	Thank you. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
2401	02:01:12,211	02:01:14,543	Now, isn't it a gas, that song?	Now, isn't it a gas, that song?
2402	02:01:14,580	02:01:15,740	Found it myself...	Found it myself...
2403	02:01:15,781	02:01:17,908	and there's an interesting story behind it.	and there's an interesting story behind it.
2404	02:01:17,950	02:01:20,043	I was on my way back from Vegas...	I was on my way back from Vegas...
2405	02:01:20,085	02:01:23,248	and I stopped in a place called Climax, Nevada.	and I stopped in a place called Climax, Nevada.
2406	02:01:23,288	02:01:24,585	Lovely little town...	Lovely little town...
2407	02:01:24,623	02:01:27,114	and I heard one of the natives humming a tune...	and I heard one of the natives humming a tune...
2408	02:01:27,159	02:01:30,754	and as I drove away, that melody kept haunting me...	and as I drove away, that melody kept haunting me...
2409	02:01:30,796	02:01:31,785	you know...	you know...
2410	02:01:31,830	02:01:34,560	so I turned around and went back...	so I turned around and went back...
2411	02:01:34,600	02:01:36,932	and there were these two amateur songwriters...	and there were these two amateur songwriters...
2412	02:01:36,969	02:01:39,938	Miller and Spoonsap, uh, Moonsap and Spiller.	Miller and Spoonsap, uh, Moonsap and Spiller.
2413	02:01:39,972	02:01:42,065	Millsap and Spooner.	Millsap and Spooner.
2414	02:01:42,107	02:01:43,972	Spooner and Millsap.	Spooner and Millsap.
2415	02:01:44,009	02:01:45,135	Well, anyway...	Well, anyway...
2416	02:01:45,177	02:01:47,645	I stayed up all night listening to their songs...	I stayed up all night listening to their songs...
2417	02:01:47,679	02:01:49,146	and tonight, you're hearing one of them...	and tonight, you're hearing one of them...
2418	02:01:49,181	02:01:50,148	for the first time...	for the first time...
2419	02:01:50,182	02:01:51,206	which just goes to prove...	which just goes to prove...
2420	02:01:51,250	02:01:53,081	that if you've got what it takes...	that if you've got what it takes...
2421	02:01:53,118	02:01:56,383	sooner or later, somebody will take what you've got...	sooner or later, somebody will take what you've got...
2422	02:01:56,422	02:01:57,787	baby.	baby.
2423	02:01:57,823	02:02:01,384	Listen to me, Sophia	Listen to me, Sophia
2424	02:02:02,428	02:02:04,726	Have you any idea	Have you any idea
2425	02:02:05,831	02:02:07,355	Can we have your autographs?	Can we have your autographs?
2426	02:02:07,399	02:02:08,957	This way, please.	This way, please.
2427	02:02:10,869	02:02:12,598	How much, you'll never know	How much, you'll never know
2428	02:02:12,638	02:02:16,404	Imagine, just this morning, he was checking my mother's oil.	Imagine, just this morning, he was checking my mother's oil.
2429	02:02:16,442	02:02:18,467	I bet you're going to make, like, a million dollars.	I bet you're going to make, like, a million dollars.
2430	02:02:18,510	02:02:21,638	Who cares? In our bracket, the government gets most of it.	Who cares? In our bracket, the government gets most of it.
2431	02:02:21,680	02:02:23,307	Will you sign this for me?	Will you sign this for me?
2432	02:02:24,817	02:02:26,580	Can't we try again, lambchop?	Can't we try again, lambchop?
2433	02:02:26,618	02:02:27,744	How would it look when Barney and I...	How would it look when Barney and I...
2434	02:02:27,786	02:02:28,844	are on "The Ed Sullivan Show"...	are on "The Ed Sullivan Show"...
2435	02:02:28,887	02:02:30,354	and he wants you to stand up and take a bow...	and he wants you to stand up and take a bow...
2436	02:02:30,389	02:02:32,084	and you're not in the audience?	and you're not in the audience?
2437	02:02:32,124	02:02:33,887	You can always get someone to take my place.	You can always get someone to take my place.
2438	02:02:33,926	02:02:35,018	Who'll know the difference?	Who'll know the difference?
2439	02:02:35,060	02:02:36,994	Yeah.	Yeah.
2440	02:02:37,029	02:02:38,155	What do you mean?	What do you mean?
2441	02:02:38,197	02:02:39,562	Will you sign this for me?	Will you sign this for me?
2442	02:02:39,598	02:02:40,690	- Me, too. - Here.	- Me, too. - Here.
2443	02:02:40,732	02:02:41,756	- Me, too. - Me, too.	- Me, too. - Me, too.
2444	02:02:49,475	02:02:51,841	Listen to me, Sophia	Listen to me, Sophia
2445	02:02:51,877	02:02:53,401	He's no Valentino	He's no Valentino
2446	02:02:53,445	02:02:55,743	Have you any idea	Have you any idea
2447	02:02:55,781	02:02:57,146	But there's no one we know	But there's no one we know
2448	02:02:57,182	02:02:59,946	How much you mean to me-a?	How much you mean to me-a?
2449	02:02:59,985	02:03:01,145	Who can love like Dino	Who can love like Dino
2450	02:03:01,186	02:03:03,780	Oh, Sophia, be mine	Oh, Sophia, be mine
2451	02:03:05,324	02:03:07,792	All the others were so-so	All the others were so-so
2452	02:03:07,826	02:03:09,316	Skinny like a pony	Skinny like a pony
2453	02:03:09,361	02:03:11,852	Not a one amoroso	Not a one amoroso
2454	02:03:11,897	02:03:13,364	Thin as macaroni	Thin as macaroni
2455	02:03:13,398	02:03:16,390	But with you, I'm aglow	But with you, I'm aglow
2456	02:03:16,435	02:03:17,902	Bang, bang.	Bang, bang.
2457	02:03:17,936	02:03:20,700	Only you I adore	Only you I adore
2458	02:03:21,707	02:03:26,110	She's sweeter than spumoni	She's sweeter than spumoni
2459	02:03:26,145	02:03:27,942	She's a manicurist I met.	She's a manicurist I met.
2460	02:03:27,980	02:03:29,948	I had my nails done while you were gone.	I had my nails done while you were gone.
2461	02:03:29,982	02:03:31,916	- I'm not asking any questions. - That's right.	- I'm not asking any questions. - That's right.
2462	02:03:31,950	02:03:33,508	There's going to be no more questions.	There's going to be no more questions.
2463	02:03:33,552	02:03:35,417	Here. You'd better put this on.	Here. You'd better put this on.
2464	02:03:35,454	02:03:36,944	My ring.	My ring.
2465	02:03:36,989	02:03:38,479	When our hearts intertwine	When our hearts intertwine
2466	02:03:38,524	02:03:39,491	Where did you get it?	Where did you get it?
2467	02:03:39,525	02:03:40,890	No questions, remember?	No questions, remember?
2468	02:03:40,926	02:03:42,689	Oh, Sophia, be mine	Oh, Sophia, be mine
2469	02:03:42,728	02:03:44,218	I must be going out of my mind.	I must be going out of my mind.
2470	02:03:44,263	02:03:46,288	I can't figure out any of this.	I can't figure out any of this.
2471	02:03:46,331	02:03:47,855	Any of what?	Any of what?
2472	02:03:47,900	02:03:51,427	I mean, the ring and the song and the car and Dino.	I mean, the ring and the song and the car and Dino.
2473	02:03:51,470	02:03:53,370	How would you?	How would you?
2474	02:03:53,405	02:03:54,394	When did she?	When did she?
2475	02:03:54,439	02:03:55,838	Why would he?	Why would he?
2476	02:03:57,242	02:03:59,142	Kiss me, stupid.	Kiss me, stupid.
2477	02:04:01,113	02:04:10,283	Oh, Sophia, be mine	Oh, Sophia, be mine