# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:02,000 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX Downloaded from YTS.MX
2 00:00:08,000 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
3 00:00:20,411 00:00:22,283 "Today is the first dayof school. "Today is the first dayof school.
4 00:00:22,587 00:00:26,026 Mom says senior year's magic' cause that's the year she met Dad. Mom says senior year's magic' cause that's the year she met Dad.
5 00:00:26,852 00:00:29,507 I don't expect to meetthe man I'll marry or anything, I don't expect to meetthe man I'll marry or anything,
6 00:00:30,030 00:00:32,728 but it'd be nice to be swept off my feet but it'd be nice to be swept off my feet
7 00:00:32,771 00:00:34,164 and consumed by passion." and consumed by passion."
8 00:00:35,470 00:00:37,994 ♪ Some girls Get all the action ♪ ♪ Some girls Get all the action ♪
9 00:00:38,038 00:00:42,085 ♪ They like to get around They got a reputation ♪ ♪ They like to get around They got a reputation ♪
10 00:00:43,695 00:00:45,784 ♪ I'm on the outside ♪ I'm on the outside
11 00:00:46,524 00:00:50,615 ♪ I hear the things they say ♪ ♪ I hear the things they say ♪
12 00:00:51,051 00:00:52,965 ♪ I don't wanna talk about it ♪ ♪ I don't wanna talk about it ♪
13 00:00:53,662 00:00:55,620 ♪ I don't wanna hear about it ♪ ♪ I don't wanna hear about it ♪
14 00:00:56,839 00:00:59,668 ♪ I just wanna find out For myself ♪ ♪ I just wanna find out For myself ♪
15 00:00:59,711 00:01:01,452 ♪ I want experience ♪ I want experience
16 00:01:02,540 00:01:04,281 ♪ My own experience ♪ My own experience
17 00:01:05,369 00:01:06,892 ♪ I want experience ♪ I want experience
18 00:01:08,285 00:01:09,982 ♪ My own experience ♪ My own experience
19 00:01:14,987 00:01:17,468 ♪ Most boys Are telling stories ♪ ♪ Most boys Are telling stories ♪
20 00:01:17,512 00:01:21,951 ♪ About the things they do They want a reputation ♪ ♪ About the things they do They want a reputation ♪
21 00:01:22,995 00:01:25,694 ♪ Another notch On their belts tonight ♪ ♪ Another notch On their belts tonight ♪
22 00:01:26,347 00:01:30,264 ♪ That's all they're living for It's just a frustration ♪ ♪ That's all they're living for It's just a frustration ♪
23 00:01:30,829 00:01:32,788 ♪ I don't wanna talk about it ♪ ♪ I don't wanna talk about it ♪
24 00:01:33,615 00:01:35,269 ♪ I don't wanna hear about it ♪ ♪ I don't wanna hear about it ♪
25 00:01:36,748 00:01:39,447 ♪ I just wanna find out For myself ♪ ♪ I just wanna find out For myself ♪
26 00:01:39,708 00:01:41,362 ♪ I want experience ♪ ♪ I want experience ♪
27 00:01:42,667 00:01:44,234 ♪ My own experience ♪ My own experience
28 00:01:58,335 00:02:00,598 Now don't be late to your first class. Now don't be late to your first class.
29 00:02:00,642 00:02:01,643 I won't. I won't.
30 00:02:03,732 00:02:05,081 Meet me here at three. Meet me here at three.
31 00:02:05,429 00:02:06,517 Hi! Hi!
32 00:02:06,561 00:02:09,085 Hey, Melanie! How you doin'? Hey, Melanie! How you doin'?
33 00:02:09,129 00:02:10,130 I'm so nervous! I'm so nervous!
34 00:02:11,479 00:02:13,394 Listen, you gotta get your own wheels, man. Listen, you gotta get your own wheels, man.
35 00:02:13,742 00:02:15,135 You're not gonna snag any guys You're not gonna snag any guys
36 00:02:15,178 00:02:16,919 if your dad drives you to school every day. if your dad drives you to school every day.
37 00:02:16,962 00:02:18,094 That's all there is to it. That's all there is to it.
38 00:02:19,922 00:02:22,054 Shit! Shit, man! Shit! Shit, man!
39 00:02:22,098 00:02:23,055 -Asshole! -Drive much? -Asshole! -Drive much?
40 00:02:31,542 00:02:33,153 This is our senior year, Les, This is our senior year, Les,
41 00:02:33,196 00:02:34,589 it's time to cultivate a new image. it's time to cultivate a new image.
42 00:02:34,632 00:02:37,069 I was just reading that preppiesare out and yuppies, I was just reading that preppiesare out and yuppies,
43 00:02:37,113 00:02:38,854 Young Urban Professionals, are in. Young Urban Professionals, are in.
44 00:02:38,897 00:02:41,073 -Maybe we should go on the pill.-Mm-hmm. -Maybe we should go on the pill.-Mm-hmm.
45 00:02:41,117 00:02:43,946 That's Douglas! Douglas Duldorf. That's Douglas! Douglas Duldorf.
46 00:02:45,295 00:02:46,427 Les, there's Max! Les, there's Max!
47 00:02:46,470 00:02:47,993 Oh, what a species! Oh, what a species!
48 00:02:48,777 00:02:50,257 Oh, is that Hindenberg? Oh, is that Hindenberg?
49 00:02:52,607 00:02:53,521 Check it out... Check it out...
50 00:02:54,609 00:02:56,959 Mel, you don't even have-- I mean, did you remember to take your vitamins? Mel, you don't even have-- I mean, did you remember to take your vitamins?
51 00:02:57,002 00:02:58,743 Can you imagine having to take the pill too? Can you imagine having to take the pill too?
52 00:03:06,447 00:03:08,100 Here, don't forget your retainer. Here, don't forget your retainer.
53 00:03:08,840 00:03:09,754 Thanks. Thanks.
54 00:03:11,582 00:03:14,194 Bye, Daddy, you don't have to pick me up tonight. Bye, Daddy, you don't have to pick me up tonight.
55 00:03:15,282 00:03:16,500 You want some bubble gum? You want some bubble gum?
56 00:03:16,544 00:03:17,545 Oh, yeah, thanks. Oh, yeah, thanks.
57 00:03:20,809 00:03:22,376 She made an appointment with the gyno, She made an appointment with the gyno,
58 00:03:22,419 00:03:23,855 so I could get the pill. so I could get the pill.
59 00:03:23,899 00:03:25,292 At least your mom talks about it, At least your mom talks about it,
60 00:03:25,683 00:03:28,295 mine just left a book about the birds and the bees on my bed. mine just left a book about the birds and the bees on my bed.
61 00:03:29,383 00:03:30,732 She must be new. She must be new.
62 00:03:30,993 00:03:32,560 I already hate her guts. I already hate her guts.
63 00:03:34,126 00:03:36,433 Yeah, there is something strange about that girl. Yeah, there is something strange about that girl.
64 00:03:40,089 00:03:43,005 Girls! Girls, may I have your attention please? Girls! Girls, may I have your attention please?
65 00:03:44,963 00:03:47,139 - Wow, you got it now! - Wow, you got it now!
66 00:03:47,183 00:03:50,404 -This is the male sex organ. -This is the male sex organ.
67 00:03:50,447 00:03:51,883 Gee, I thought it was a snow cone. Gee, I thought it was a snow cone.
68 00:03:51,927 00:03:53,145 -Shut up! -Shut up!
69 00:03:53,450 00:03:56,148 Consider it the enemy! Consider it the enemy!
70 00:03:57,367 00:03:59,151 Hey, man, it's not like you're unique. Hey, man, it's not like you're unique.
71 00:03:59,195 00:04:01,458 Lotta guys our age haven't been laid. Lotta guys our age haven't been laid.
72 00:04:01,502 00:04:04,809 Look, I gave her a couple of these and she raped me, right in the john, huh? Look, I gave her a couple of these and she raped me, right in the john, huh?
73 00:04:05,288 00:04:08,248 -That guy looks 14, Max.-He was probably hallucinating. -That guy looks 14, Max.-He was probably hallucinating.
74 00:04:08,900 00:04:10,815 Everybody's gettin' it but me. Everybody's gettin' it but me.
75 00:04:18,214 00:04:20,608 She's gotta be new. I couldn't have missed those. She's gotta be new. I couldn't have missed those.
76 00:04:21,348 00:04:24,351 Alan! Alan!
77 00:04:27,963 00:04:29,443 So, did you get laid this summer? So, did you get laid this summer?
78 00:04:31,401 00:04:33,751 -Max! How do you fare, buddy? -Good, good. -Max! How do you fare, buddy? -Good, good.
79 00:04:34,404 00:04:35,971 Hey, Max, who's the shadow? Hey, Max, who's the shadow?
80 00:04:36,014 00:04:38,408 Oh, this is Farouk. He's stayingat my place this semester. Oh, this is Farouk. He's stayingat my place this semester.
81 00:04:38,452 00:04:40,192 No shit! All right! No shit! All right!
82 00:04:41,063 00:04:42,238 Gimme five, man! Gimme five, man!
83 00:04:42,891 00:04:44,849 All right, I give you five dollars. All right, I give you five dollars.
84 00:04:45,546 00:04:48,897 No, no, no. "Give me five," that's a greeting. No, no, no. "Give me five," that's a greeting.
85 00:04:48,940 00:04:50,681 Yeah, you see, it's like this. Yeah, you see, it's like this.
86 00:04:53,902 00:04:56,818 I get you now, Max. I get you now, Max.
87 00:04:57,122 00:04:59,168 Go on, give to me, five. Go on, give to me, five.
88 00:05:00,561 00:05:03,128 You, you give to me five. You, you give to me five.
89 00:05:07,045 00:05:09,309 Very funny to be here in the United States. Very funny to be here in the United States.
90 00:05:11,354 00:05:12,312 Hi. Hi.
91 00:05:17,447 00:05:18,796 You catch the new principal? You catch the new principal?
92 00:05:18,840 00:05:20,711 I heard he used to run a military school. I heard he used to run a military school.
93 00:05:20,755 00:05:22,017 A jarhead. A jarhead.
94 00:05:22,060 00:05:23,453 Looks more like a potatohead to me. Looks more like a potatohead to me.
95 00:05:24,541 00:05:26,761 -Carp. -Hey, Max, how's it goin'? -Carp. -Hey, Max, how's it goin'?
96 00:05:26,804 00:05:29,024 -Good, Carp.-So, uh, you like America, huh? -Good, Carp.-So, uh, you like America, huh?
97 00:05:31,026 00:05:34,769 Your run-of-the-mill VD is curable. Your run-of-the-mill VD is curable.
98 00:05:37,119 00:05:39,687 Herpes comes with a lifetime guarantee! Herpes comes with a lifetime guarantee!
99 00:05:40,992 00:05:42,254 So just remember this. So just remember this.
100 00:05:43,560 00:05:45,040 You can eat all the apples you like, You can eat all the apples you like,
101 00:05:45,083 00:05:47,259 but sooner or later you're gonna bite the worm! but sooner or later you're gonna bite the worm!
102 00:05:47,303 00:05:48,783 Virginity has its advantages. Virginity has its advantages.
103 00:05:49,044 00:05:51,829 Not for me. This is my last yearas a celibate. Not for me. This is my last yearas a celibate.
104 00:05:51,873 00:05:53,918 I haven't forgotten what it's like... I haven't forgotten what it's like...
105 00:05:54,658 00:05:56,138 to be young and horny. to be young and horny.
106 00:05:57,444 00:06:00,272 Just don't forget those aren't squirt guns you're packin', Just don't forget those aren't squirt guns you're packin',
107 00:06:00,316 00:06:02,013 and you're not shootin' blanks! and you're not shootin' blanks!
108 00:06:03,145 00:06:06,148 It only takes one shot to ruin your lives. It only takes one shot to ruin your lives.
109 00:06:07,192 00:06:08,977 Not to mention the girl's. Not to mention the girl's.
110 00:06:10,892 00:06:15,984 If anyone ever did that to one of my girls, I'd... If anyone ever did that to one of my girls, I'd...
111 00:06:18,987 00:06:21,772 I'd have his balls for lunch. I'd have his balls for lunch.
112 00:06:25,036 00:06:26,473 -Attention. -Attention.
113 00:06:26,995 00:06:29,389 - Attention, please! - Attention, please!
114 00:06:30,172 00:06:32,304 Attention, the bell has rung. Attention, the bell has rung.
115 00:06:35,656 00:06:38,572 This semester we'll be studying animal reproduction. This semester we'll be studying animal reproduction.
116 00:06:39,268 00:06:43,446 We will start with single cell organisms and we will progress through the animal kingdom We will start with single cell organisms and we will progress through the animal kingdom
117 00:06:43,490 00:06:47,885 focusing on the reproductivecycles of spirogyra, flatworms, focusing on the reproductivecycles of spirogyra, flatworms,
118 00:06:48,190 00:06:51,889 -squids, cats and man. - Maybe an older woman. -squids, cats and man. - Maybe an older woman.
119 00:06:52,194 00:06:54,631 I'm sure you'll all share my breathless excitement I'm sure you'll all share my breathless excitement
120 00:06:54,675 00:06:56,459 as we strip away the mysteries as we strip away the mysteries
121 00:06:56,503 00:06:59,375 surrounding the biological process of reproduction. surrounding the biological process of reproduction.
122 00:06:59,680 00:07:02,813 May I tell you, class, that in your enjoyment of this class, May I tell you, class, that in your enjoyment of this class,
123 00:07:02,857 00:07:05,686 you will be limited only by your imagination. you will be limited only by your imagination.
124 00:07:05,990 00:07:08,079 -I sincerely believe... -Hi, I'm Liz... -I sincerely believe... -Hi, I'm Liz...
125 00:07:08,123 00:07:10,038 - ...that in order to know biology... -Simpson. - ...that in order to know biology... -Simpson.
126 00:07:10,081 00:07:12,083 - ...one must do biology. -What class is that for? - ...one must do biology. -What class is that for?
127 00:07:12,127 00:07:13,563 Let's embark on this adventure. Let's embark on this adventure.
128 00:07:13,607 00:07:15,739 Let us begin our first laboratory experiment. Let us begin our first laboratory experiment.
129 00:07:15,783 00:07:18,350 Uh, it's just sort of somethingI picked up. Uh, it's just sort of somethingI picked up.
130 00:07:18,394 00:07:19,874 Looks like it might be good. Looks like it might be good.
131 00:07:20,875 00:07:24,487 Stephanie Graham and Mil Table, station one. Stephanie Graham and Mil Table, station one.
132 00:07:24,531 00:07:27,316 Jackie Freemanand John Bergdahl, station two. Jackie Freemanand John Bergdahl, station two.
133 00:07:28,491 00:07:31,538 Alan Holt and Leslie Hindenberg, station three. Alan Holt and Leslie Hindenberg, station three.
134 00:07:31,581 00:07:35,237 Ah, beg me for more, you brazen wench. Ah, beg me for more, you brazen wench.
135 00:07:36,194 00:07:37,239 Alan? Alan?
136 00:07:38,980 00:07:39,981 Alan Holt? Alan Holt?
137 00:07:40,547 00:07:42,940 Yes, Alan Holt, you're at lab station three Yes, Alan Holt, you're at lab station three
138 00:07:42,984 00:07:44,115 with Leslie Hindenberg, thank you. with Leslie Hindenberg, thank you.
139 00:07:45,203 00:07:46,553 -Hi. -Hi. -Hi. -Hi.
140 00:07:49,294 00:07:51,906 I'm sure you're all sharemy awe at the way a single cell I'm sure you're all sharemy awe at the way a single cell
141 00:07:51,949 00:07:54,952 can reproduce and reproduce, again and again. can reproduce and reproduce, again and again.
142 00:07:54,996 00:07:57,955 -Like the Osmond family. -Like the Osmond family.
143 00:07:57,999 00:08:01,263 Even the most innocuous looking substances can be... Even the most innocuous looking substances can be...
144 00:08:01,611 00:08:04,484 well, they can be teeming with fertile microorganisms. well, they can be teeming with fertile microorganisms.
145 00:08:05,528 00:08:07,269 I will now come around to every couple I will now come around to every couple
146 00:08:07,312 00:08:10,402 and give you your very own bread molds. and give you your very own bread molds.
147 00:08:12,666 00:08:14,319 Hey, it's lunch time! Hey, it's lunch time!
148 00:08:14,363 00:08:16,278 Got any peanut butter moldto go with this? Got any peanut butter moldto go with this?
149 00:08:19,629 00:08:22,458 Uh, salami mold, some lettuce mold? Uh, salami mold, some lettuce mold?
150 00:08:25,200 00:08:26,636 Look who's comin'. Look who's comin'.
151 00:08:28,595 00:08:30,727 Alan, will you light my Bunsen burner? Alan, will you light my Bunsen burner?
152 00:08:31,162 00:08:32,990 I don't think I can handle it alone. I don't think I can handle it alone.
153 00:08:35,515 00:08:37,255 "Alan, would you light my Bunsen burner?" "Alan, would you light my Bunsen burner?"
154 00:08:48,832 00:08:51,443 Three times a dollar fifty is four-fifty, right? Three times a dollar fifty is four-fifty, right?
155 00:08:51,487 00:08:53,358 -Mm-hmm. -Think they'll stay out later? -Mm-hmm. -Think they'll stay out later?
156 00:08:53,750 00:08:55,535 Jenny, did you put that in the washer? Jenny, did you put that in the washer?
157 00:08:56,840 00:08:59,234 It's my bra! She snitched my bra! It's my bra! She snitched my bra!
158 00:08:59,277 00:09:00,714 -It fits. -You wish. -It fits. -You wish.
159 00:09:00,757 00:09:02,106 Take it off, Jenny. Take it off, Jenny.
160 00:09:02,150 00:09:04,021 You'll get a training bra when you're thirteen. You'll get a training bra when you're thirteen.
161 00:09:04,065 00:09:06,807 I'm the only one in PE who still wears an undershirt. I'm the only one in PE who still wears an undershirt.
162 00:09:07,547 00:09:09,679 I didn't get a bra till I was fourteen. I didn't get a bra till I was fourteen.
163 00:09:10,245 00:09:13,291 Nobody escorted me on my first babysitting job. Nobody escorted me on my first babysitting job.
164 00:09:13,727 00:09:15,598 But your father drove by the house every hour. But your father drove by the house every hour.
165 00:09:15,642 00:09:18,427 Only to make sure no boys were hiding in the bushes. Only to make sure no boys were hiding in the bushes.
166 00:09:18,688 00:09:22,823 If Dixie-D cup doesn't move it,we're gonna be late! Jenny!! If Dixie-D cup doesn't move it,we're gonna be late! Jenny!!
167 00:09:23,258 00:09:24,520 You don't have to shout. You don't have to shout.
168 00:09:24,564 00:09:26,261 -Whoa, there! -Whoa, there!
169 00:09:27,175 00:09:28,393 What about dinner? What about dinner?
170 00:09:28,742 00:09:30,004 I'm on a diet. I'm on a diet.
171 00:09:30,047 00:09:32,267 Sounds like anorexia to me. Sounds like anorexia to me.
172 00:09:32,310 00:09:34,443 Does your pitiful existence have to revolve Does your pitiful existence have to revolve
173 00:09:34,486 00:09:36,053 around bugging me, twit-brain? around bugging me, twit-brain?
174 00:09:36,097 00:09:39,056 Mom! She called me a twit-brain. Mom! She called me a twit-brain.
175 00:09:39,100 00:09:41,450 There are better words in the dictionary, Leslie. There are better words in the dictionary, Leslie.
176 00:09:41,842 00:09:43,626 What kind of people are these Stonemans? What kind of people are these Stonemans?
177 00:09:44,018 00:09:46,455 Who cares? We're spending the evening with their infant. Who cares? We're spending the evening with their infant.
178 00:09:47,630 00:09:50,720 I'll call you every hour or so,make sure everything's A-OK! I'll call you every hour or so,make sure everything's A-OK!
179 00:09:50,981 00:09:52,679 - Bye! - Bye! - Bye! - Bye!
180 00:09:53,810 00:09:55,420 ...because you never know ...because you never know
181 00:09:55,464 00:09:56,683 if you'll take a blow. if you'll take a blow.
182 00:09:58,075 00:10:00,295 It's so quiet when the girls are gone. It's so quiet when the girls are gone.
183 00:10:00,817 00:10:03,603 You'll get that 24-hour protection and comfort... You'll get that 24-hour protection and comfort...
184 00:10:22,099 00:10:24,841 So, then she asked me to light her Bunsen burner. So, then she asked me to light her Bunsen burner.
185 00:10:24,885 00:10:26,974 -Is that a good sign? -Sounds hot to me. -Is that a good sign? -Sounds hot to me.
186 00:10:27,539 00:10:29,193 What, are you waiting for a formal invitation? What, are you waiting for a formal invitation?
187 00:10:30,107 00:10:32,544 Maybe bio's her bad subject or something. Maybe bio's her bad subject or something.
188 00:10:32,893 00:10:35,025 My own brother, a sexual retard. My own brother, a sexual retard.
189 00:10:36,679 00:10:38,768 All I think about all day is sex. All I think about all day is sex.
190 00:10:38,812 00:10:39,943 That's a good sign. That's a good sign.
191 00:10:40,988 00:10:43,643 I look at everybody and I think:"They know what it's like." I look at everybody and I think:"They know what it's like."
192 00:10:43,947 00:10:47,603 I've got this huge black hole in my life, you know? I've got this huge black hole in my life, you know?
193 00:10:48,430 00:10:49,387 No. No.
194 00:10:50,911 00:10:53,696 Why aren't girls as horny as I am? It's just not fair. Why aren't girls as horny as I am? It's just not fair.
195 00:10:53,740 00:10:54,697 What can I say? What can I say?
196 00:10:55,263 00:10:57,744 Sex is a stacked deck and women hold all the cards. Sex is a stacked deck and women hold all the cards.
197 00:10:57,787 00:10:59,093 Better get used to it. Better get used to it.
198 00:10:59,963 00:11:00,921 Dinko. Dinko.
199 00:11:03,140 00:11:06,666 'Bout time I put this goddamn machine out of its misery. 'Bout time I put this goddamn machine out of its misery.
200 00:11:12,976 00:11:13,890 Bad attitude. Bad attitude.
201 00:11:14,369 00:11:15,239 Good arm. Good arm.
202 00:11:16,284 00:11:17,633 Feelin' better, Sunshine? Feelin' better, Sunshine?
203 00:11:17,677 00:11:19,200 I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead.
204 00:11:24,901 00:11:27,295 Well, Doctor Ranada's got just your prescription. Well, Doctor Ranada's got just your prescription.
205 00:11:27,338 00:11:29,819 Look, I just tossed my cookies, okay? Look, I just tossed my cookies, okay?
206 00:11:29,863 00:11:32,387 I mean, enough is enough. Really! I mean, enough is enough. Really!
207 00:11:34,476 00:11:38,610 She's a slow starter,but there's a tiger in her tank. She's a slow starter,but there's a tiger in her tank.
208 00:11:40,264 00:11:42,527 That guy wrote the book on how to strike out. That guy wrote the book on how to strike out.
209 00:11:43,790 00:11:45,095 Bet he's been laid though. Bet he's been laid though.
210 00:11:45,139 00:11:47,532 Your time will come, think positive. Your time will come, think positive.
211 00:11:47,576 00:11:48,969 Now, what about your bio partner? Now, what about your bio partner?
212 00:11:49,491 00:11:51,841 Leslie Hindenberg's my bio partner. Leslie Hindenberg's my bio partner.
213 00:11:51,885 00:11:53,060 Coach Kong's daughter? Coach Kong's daughter?
214 00:11:54,278 00:11:55,845 Hope she's not built like her old man. Hope she's not built like her old man.
215 00:11:55,889 00:11:58,021 -Oh, no, she's a fox! -Well, so, hit on her. -Oh, no, she's a fox! -Well, so, hit on her.
216 00:12:01,155 00:12:03,723 You're right. I like your nose where it is. You're right. I like your nose where it is.
217 00:12:04,114 00:12:06,638 These are supposed to be the best years of my life. These are supposed to be the best years of my life.
218 00:12:07,074 00:12:08,989 Maybe if you went blonde, or something. Maybe if you went blonde, or something.
219 00:12:09,598 00:12:12,209 We'd still be stuck with the same geeky guys. We'd still be stuck with the same geeky guys.
220 00:12:13,080 00:12:15,169 Wait a minute, Les, I see a ray of hope. Wait a minute, Les, I see a ray of hope.
221 00:12:15,430 00:12:19,303 God, the man of my dreams is alive and well on KBBZ. God, the man of my dreams is alive and well on KBBZ.
222 00:12:19,651 00:12:21,001 God, what a turn on. God, what a turn on.
223 00:12:21,741 00:12:23,351 ...as he proved late last night ...as he proved late last night
224 00:12:23,394 00:12:25,135 when he rolled his wheelchair out of the VA hospital when he rolled his wheelchair out of the VA hospital
225 00:12:25,179 00:12:26,963 and onto the San Diego freeway on-ramp. and onto the San Diego freeway on-ramp.
226 00:12:27,572 00:12:29,487 He's a little too "Ken doll" for me. He's a little too "Ken doll" for me.
227 00:12:29,531 00:12:32,186 I mean, there's no pain or passion in his face. I mean, there's no pain or passion in his face.
228 00:12:32,229 00:12:33,274 He's too perfect. He's too perfect.
229 00:12:33,317 00:12:35,450 Oh, I'm not above perfection. Oh, I'm not above perfection.
230 00:12:35,929 00:12:38,061 Ted Vincent is my man. Ted Vincent is my man.
231 00:12:39,193 00:12:41,064 You won't believe this, she's got a vibrator. You won't believe this, she's got a vibrator.
232 00:12:42,413 00:12:43,632 Good work, Les, she's on a roll. Good work, Les, she's on a roll.
233 00:12:43,675 00:12:46,026 -What's it for? -Curling your hair. -What's it for? -Curling your hair.
234 00:12:46,678 00:12:48,637 I wonder if Ted's into electronics? I wonder if Ted's into electronics?
235 00:12:49,507 00:12:51,118 Earth to Les! Earth to Les!
236 00:12:51,161 00:12:53,816 Listen, I gotta go.The Gestapo's gonna be calling, Listen, I gotta go.The Gestapo's gonna be calling,
237 00:12:53,860 00:12:56,210 -checking up on me. -OK, I'll catch you later. -checking up on me. -OK, I'll catch you later.
238 00:13:08,570 00:13:09,484 Cancer? Cancer?
239 00:13:31,985 00:13:33,943 It's no joke, Mel! It's no joke, Mel!
240 00:13:33,987 00:13:36,641 It looks exactly like a classic melanoma. It looks exactly like a classic melanoma.
241 00:13:36,685 00:13:38,774 Have you forgotten your cold last spring? Have you forgotten your cold last spring?
242 00:13:38,818 00:13:40,384 You swore it was TB. You swore it was TB.
243 00:13:40,428 00:13:42,473 It was a severe case of strep, Mel. It was a severe case of strep, Mel.
244 00:13:42,517 00:13:44,562 And, besides, melanoma's different. And, besides, melanoma's different.
245 00:13:44,606 00:13:47,087 For starters, it's almost always fatal. For starters, it's almost always fatal.
246 00:13:53,833 00:13:55,312 I haven't seen you in a long time. I haven't seen you in a long time.
247 00:13:55,922 00:13:56,923 How's your mother? How's your mother?
248 00:13:57,184 00:13:58,576 -She's fine. -Good. -She's fine. -Good.
249 00:13:58,620 00:14:02,102 Now, let me check the, uh... the area of the mole. Now, let me check the, uh... the area of the mole.
250 00:14:05,932 00:14:08,282 I'm only checking for raised areas. I'm only checking for raised areas.
251 00:14:09,065 00:14:10,980 Doesn't look like an ordinary mole does it? Doesn't look like an ordinary mole does it?
252 00:14:11,459 00:14:13,156 Don't be an alarmist, Leslie. Don't be an alarmist, Leslie.
253 00:14:14,375 00:14:16,246 I'm only checking for coloration. I'm only checking for coloration.
254 00:14:17,726 00:14:18,901 Oh... Oh...
255 00:14:20,685 00:14:22,426 Looks pretty dark and sinister, huh? Looks pretty dark and sinister, huh?
256 00:14:22,470 00:14:25,125 Now, now, Leslie, although you're fair-skinned Now, now, Leslie, although you're fair-skinned
257 00:14:25,168 00:14:27,083 and prone to the ill-fated melanoma... and prone to the ill-fated melanoma...
258 00:14:28,041 00:14:30,043 -this is only lentigo. -Huh? -this is only lentigo. -Huh?
259 00:14:30,957 00:14:33,307 Medical terminology for harmless spots. Medical terminology for harmless spots.
260 00:14:34,090 00:14:35,309 Prone to melanoma? Prone to melanoma?
261 00:14:35,787 00:14:38,094 Leslie, you're a very healthyyoung lady who worries too much. Leslie, you're a very healthyyoung lady who worries too much.
262 00:14:38,747 00:14:40,053 You can get dressed now. You can get dressed now.
263 00:14:41,184 00:14:45,188 But if it would be reassuring, you could come back in a month But if it would be reassuring, you could come back in a month
264 00:14:45,232 00:14:48,539 and I'll check your entire body. Bye. and I'll check your entire body. Bye.
265 00:14:50,672 00:14:53,849 I told you not to buy plants at gas stations. I told you not to buy plants at gas stations.
266 00:14:53,893 00:14:55,764 But she looked so healthy! But she looked so healthy!
267 00:14:56,156 00:14:57,635 Maybe if I talk to her... Maybe if I talk to her...
268 00:14:57,679 00:14:59,202 Talking can't save hernow, Bernice. Talking can't save hernow, Bernice.
269 00:14:59,246 00:15:00,812 But she's not dead yet! But she's not dead yet!
270 00:15:00,856 00:15:02,118 It's only a matter of time. It's only a matter of time.
271 00:15:02,162 00:15:04,033 Granted, she's got a great pair of bulbs, Granted, she's got a great pair of bulbs,
272 00:15:04,077 00:15:06,122 but she's going to wither and die before the new year. but she's going to wither and die before the new year.
273 00:15:11,606 00:15:12,912 Are you all right, dear? Are you all right, dear?
274 00:15:13,477 00:15:14,652 I guess not. I guess not.
275 00:15:16,741 00:15:18,439 So, I says to Porter, if you ask me, So, I says to Porter, if you ask me,
276 00:15:18,482 00:15:20,354 the foreign kid's not playin' with a full deck. the foreign kid's not playin' with a full deck.
277 00:15:22,356 00:15:26,882 Never knows what team he's on. Says we all look alike. Never knows what team he's on. Says we all look alike.
278 00:15:27,578 00:15:29,754 Dad, did I ever tell you how proud I am of you? Dad, did I ever tell you how proud I am of you?
279 00:15:30,059 00:15:32,627 I mean, even though I complain about how embarrassing it is I mean, even though I complain about how embarrassing it is
280 00:15:32,670 00:15:36,587 to be in the same school... everyone respects you so much. to be in the same school... everyone respects you so much.
281 00:15:39,460 00:15:40,852 I give it my best shot. I give it my best shot.
282 00:15:42,767 00:15:47,468 Leslie, your mother makes sure you get the four basic food groups, Leslie, your mother makes sure you get the four basic food groups,
283 00:15:47,511 00:15:48,730 and you're trashing three of them. and you're trashing three of them.
284 00:15:50,471 00:15:54,823 Mom... it's so beautiful that every day Mom... it's so beautiful that every day
285 00:15:54,866 00:15:56,172 you go to all this effort. you go to all this effort.
286 00:15:57,913 00:15:59,436 It's just that I've lost my appetite. It's just that I've lost my appetite.
287 00:15:59,784 00:16:01,438 That's very sweet, Leslie. That's very sweet, Leslie.
288 00:16:01,482 00:16:03,571 Also, very suspicious. Also, very suspicious.
289 00:16:03,963 00:16:06,182 Jennifer, you and I have certainly had our problems. Jennifer, you and I have certainly had our problems.
290 00:16:07,531 00:16:10,404 Would you feel better if I gave you my new silver bangles? Would you feel better if I gave you my new silver bangles?
291 00:16:10,447 00:16:12,275 The ones I'm not allowed to breathe on? The ones I'm not allowed to breathe on?
292 00:16:12,623 00:16:14,321 Silver bangles aren't worth fighting over, Silver bangles aren't worth fighting over,
293 00:16:14,364 00:16:16,105 no matter how expensive they are. no matter how expensive they are.
294 00:16:16,714 00:16:18,978 -I'll take them! -You're welcome. -I'll take them! -You're welcome.
295 00:16:19,369 00:16:20,936 I'll clear the table now. I'll clear the table now.
296 00:16:26,289 00:16:28,944 Am I the only one who finds this creepy? Am I the only one who finds this creepy?
297 00:16:32,078 00:16:33,862 Your attention, please! Your attention, please!
298 00:16:34,384 00:16:36,996 This administration is not amused... This administration is not amused...
299 00:16:37,039 00:16:39,694 -...by the attack on our very own Venus in the quad. -...by the attack on our very own Venus in the quad.
300 00:16:40,434 00:16:41,652 You like this shit, huh? You like this shit, huh?
301 00:16:42,001 00:16:44,003 Mm, I like this shit very much. Mm, I like this shit very much.
302 00:16:45,178 00:16:47,789 In America it's considered the highest of compliments In America it's considered the highest of compliments
303 00:16:47,832 00:16:49,530 to say to your hostess after a good meal: to say to your hostess after a good meal:
304 00:16:49,791 00:16:51,445 "Thank you for the shit." "Thank you for the shit."
305 00:16:51,488 00:16:53,012 How you-- how you say that? How you-- how you say that?
306 00:16:53,490 00:16:55,318 Thank you for the shit. Thank you for the shit.
307 00:16:55,362 00:16:56,798 Thank you for the shit. Thank you for the shit.
308 00:16:56,841 00:16:57,973 Hello, Farouk. Hello, Farouk.
309 00:17:00,671 00:17:02,673 Some girls go for the exotic type. Some girls go for the exotic type.
310 00:17:02,717 00:17:05,720 Yeah, Farouk, let us knowif she's a moaner or a screamer. Yeah, Farouk, let us knowif she's a moaner or a screamer.
311 00:17:05,763 00:17:08,375 Hey, I had a screamer once. She shattered her own glasses. Hey, I had a screamer once. She shattered her own glasses.
312 00:17:08,940 00:17:10,812 Don't you talk about anything but sex? Don't you talk about anything but sex?
313 00:17:10,855 00:17:12,118 What else is there, Ed? What else is there, Ed?
314 00:17:12,988 00:17:14,816 That's a tough one, Pittman. That's a tough one, Pittman.
315 00:17:14,859 00:17:16,209 Don't pull a muscle working on it. Don't pull a muscle working on it.
316 00:17:17,862 00:17:20,126 Just stopped by to warn you that you're Chairman Just stopped by to warn you that you're Chairman
317 00:17:20,169 00:17:21,953 of the Christmas Dance Committeethis year. of the Christmas Dance Committeethis year.
318 00:17:22,650 00:17:24,260 Tell me when you getthe committee put together. Tell me when you getthe committee put together.
319 00:17:25,044 00:17:27,872 Oh, feel free to resume your insightful discussion. Oh, feel free to resume your insightful discussion.
320 00:17:29,135 00:17:30,136 Mutant. Mutant.
321 00:17:30,440 00:17:32,616 Yeah, another example of virgin brain rot. Yeah, another example of virgin brain rot.
322 00:17:33,008 00:17:35,054 Don't let that happen to you, okay? Don't let that happen to you, okay?
323 00:17:35,793 00:17:37,404 How's it goin', Farouk? How's it goin', Farouk?
324 00:17:39,841 00:17:41,930 Don't look now, but here comes the lady Don't look now, but here comes the lady
325 00:17:41,973 00:17:43,671 that gives new meaning to the word hard-on. that gives new meaning to the word hard-on.
326 00:17:44,193 00:17:47,414 Uh, this is your lucky day.I saved this seat just for you. Uh, this is your lucky day.I saved this seat just for you.
327 00:17:47,457 00:17:49,459 Sit on it, pal! Hello, Alan. Sit on it, pal! Hello, Alan.
328 00:17:50,156 00:17:51,244 Hi. Hi.
329 00:17:51,287 00:17:53,637 Say, uh... aren't you in my bio class? Say, uh... aren't you in my bio class?
330 00:17:53,681 00:17:54,856 I hadn't noticed. I hadn't noticed.
331 00:17:54,899 00:17:56,205 Why don't you sit down, take a seat? Why don't you sit down, take a seat?
332 00:17:56,249 00:17:57,380 I'm bad but I don't bite. I'm bad but I don't bite.
333 00:17:57,424 00:17:59,426 I do! I definitely bite! Come on, Alan. I do! I definitely bite! Come on, Alan.
334 00:18:05,127 00:18:07,956 Hey, Alan, who's the guy with the bow tie? Hey, Alan, who's the guy with the bow tie?
335 00:18:08,609 00:18:12,787 ...we've got funds for holidays,Hawaiian luaus, Vancouver cruises. ...we've got funds for holidays,Hawaiian luaus, Vancouver cruises.
336 00:18:12,830 00:18:15,094 Oh, everybody calls him Mushroom Malone. Oh, everybody calls him Mushroom Malone.
337 00:18:15,137 00:18:19,750 -Mm-hmm. Bet I can guess why. -Mm-hmm. Bet I can guess why.
338 00:18:20,011 00:18:24,581 Any student caught with a substance commonly known as Wacky Glue, Any student caught with a substance commonly known as Wacky Glue,
339 00:18:24,625 00:18:27,106 will be subject to severe disciplinary action. will be subject to severe disciplinary action.
340 00:18:27,149 00:18:28,803 Score one for the Wacky Glue Phantom. Score one for the Wacky Glue Phantom.
341 00:18:34,200 00:18:36,898 I can make you a great deal, you'll love it. I can make you a great deal, you'll love it.
342 00:18:39,030 00:18:41,424 I'm not kidding, it's great stuff! I'm not kidding, it's great stuff!
343 00:18:41,468 00:18:42,425 You'll love it. You'll love it.
344 00:18:43,122 00:18:47,038 It's all so unreal. I feel like I ought to do something. It's all so unreal. I feel like I ought to do something.
345 00:18:47,082 00:18:48,866 There's nothing anybody can do now. There's nothing anybody can do now.
346 00:18:49,215 00:18:52,479 I'll just go on pretending nothing's happened. I'll just go on pretending nothing's happened.
347 00:18:53,219 00:18:55,525 Cram a lifetime into three months. Cram a lifetime into three months.
348 00:18:56,091 00:18:57,832 There's so much I wanna experience. There's so much I wanna experience.
349 00:18:57,875 00:19:00,051 -You mean? -I always said I'd wait -You mean? -I always said I'd wait
350 00:19:00,095 00:19:03,229 for the love of my life, but I guess I'll have to settle for... for the love of my life, but I guess I'll have to settle for...
351 00:19:03,794 00:19:04,926 ...sex! ...sex!
352 00:19:05,709 00:19:08,886 I gotta know if it's worth all the time we spend talking about it. I gotta know if it's worth all the time we spend talking about it.
353 00:19:09,322 00:19:13,064 Bad news, my research says the first time's never the best. Bad news, my research says the first time's never the best.
354 00:19:13,108 00:19:16,155 Unless you go for someone really experienced. Unless you go for someone really experienced.
355 00:19:16,198 00:19:19,070 It might be sweet if it was the first time for both of us. It might be sweet if it was the first time for both of us.
356 00:19:19,114 00:19:21,986 It might be the pits. I've heardit's harder than it looks. It might be the pits. I've heardit's harder than it looks.
357 00:19:22,378 00:19:25,468 Yeah, really? Two dozen Shriners with rubbers? Yeah, really? Two dozen Shriners with rubbers?
358 00:19:25,512 00:19:29,037 Later, babe, I think I just sawa major league pair of yapo. Later, babe, I think I just sawa major league pair of yapo.
359 00:19:38,699 00:19:40,222 Let's go. Let's go.
360 00:19:44,183 00:19:45,401 She's weird! She's weird!
361 00:19:46,402 00:19:48,752 I hear they call you Mushroom. Got any? I hear they call you Mushroom. Got any?
362 00:19:49,057 00:19:51,451 Wanna speak up?They didn't hear you in Nevada. Wanna speak up?They didn't hear you in Nevada.
363 00:19:51,494 00:19:53,714 I figured with a name like that you must be advertising. I figured with a name like that you must be advertising.
364 00:19:53,757 00:19:56,499 Would you sit down? Only takesone narc to ruin your whole day. Would you sit down? Only takesone narc to ruin your whole day.
365 00:19:56,804 00:19:57,718 Really? Really?
366 00:20:02,244 00:20:03,332 Gnarly. Gnarly.
367 00:20:14,604 00:20:16,650 Doesn't this ever strike you as absurd? Doesn't this ever strike you as absurd?
368 00:20:16,693 00:20:17,607 What? What?
369 00:20:18,260 00:20:21,481 All these adolescents, desperate for human contact. All these adolescents, desperate for human contact.
370 00:20:22,264 00:20:23,352 You mean horny? You mean horny?
371 00:20:24,179 00:20:26,703 Isolating themselves in their own little prisons on wheels. Isolating themselves in their own little prisons on wheels.
372 00:20:26,747 00:20:29,576 Like a thousand lonely little worlds doing a mating relay Like a thousand lonely little worlds doing a mating relay
373 00:20:29,619 00:20:31,186 down the highway of life. down the highway of life.
374 00:20:33,667 00:20:35,843 Hey, catch that, tits and drugs. Hey, catch that, tits and drugs.
375 00:20:35,886 00:20:37,148 Give me a break. Give me a break.
376 00:20:38,019 00:20:40,151 Max! I love you. Max! I love you.
377 00:20:41,370 00:20:42,980 Pittman, you lunatic. Pittman, you lunatic.
378 00:20:43,633 00:20:45,461 You know, you think too much, that's your problem. You know, you think too much, that's your problem.
379 00:20:45,505 00:20:47,637 You could use a problem like that, Max. You could use a problem like that, Max.
380 00:20:49,987 00:20:50,901 Leslie! Leslie!
381 00:20:52,033 00:20:55,819 Fate is calling you, Les, and getting a busy signal. Fate is calling you, Les, and getting a busy signal.
382 00:20:56,167 00:20:57,995 Think Max, Leslie. Think Max, Leslie.
383 00:20:58,431 00:21:00,476 Oh, sometimes he gets this look in his eyes. Oh, sometimes he gets this look in his eyes.
384 00:21:01,129 00:21:04,350 I mean, this is a man who knowswhere to find your G-spot. I mean, this is a man who knowswhere to find your G-spot.
385 00:21:04,393 00:21:06,830 Oh, Mel, I couldn't find my G-spot. Oh, Mel, I couldn't find my G-spot.
386 00:21:07,701 00:21:10,617 I kissed him once in the second grade. I kissed him once in the second grade.
387 00:21:11,008 00:21:12,749 Oh, he was hot even then. Oh, he was hot even then.
388 00:21:13,968 00:21:16,187 He's not interested in me, Mel. He's not interested in me, Mel.
389 00:21:16,231 00:21:17,754 Well you gotta be gutsy, Les. Well you gotta be gutsy, Les.
390 00:21:18,059 00:21:19,974 Just call him up and ask him out. Just call him up and ask him out.
391 00:21:20,844 00:21:22,585 All he can say is: "No way, José." All he can say is: "No way, José."
392 00:21:23,020 00:21:25,196 Right, then I just die of embarrassment. Right, then I just die of embarrassment.
393 00:21:25,240 00:21:27,068 Like, what have you got to lose? Like, what have you got to lose?
394 00:21:31,159 00:21:33,074 - Hey, Max. -How you doin'? - Hey, Max. -How you doin'?
395 00:21:34,249 00:21:37,078 "Is it too much to askfor someone dark and mysterious, "Is it too much to askfor someone dark and mysterious,
396 00:21:37,470 00:21:40,603 who reads and would talk aboutlife all night by candle light? who reads and would talk aboutlife all night by candle light?
397 00:21:42,170 00:21:45,260 I guess I'd better face reality, boys are so immature. I guess I'd better face reality, boys are so immature.
398 00:21:45,652 00:21:48,785 I'll get a diaphragm, settle for no-frills sex." I'll get a diaphragm, settle for no-frills sex."
399 00:22:01,320 00:22:03,974 Well, why don't you take the floor, Farouk? Well, why don't you take the floor, Farouk?
400 00:22:04,018 00:22:05,715 And I'll get the main dish. And I'll get the main dish.
401 00:22:08,805 00:22:10,459 Oh, she means it's your turn to talk. Oh, she means it's your turn to talk.
402 00:22:10,894 00:22:12,069 Oh, uh... Oh, uh...
403 00:22:15,421 00:22:18,772 I... I like United States, very much. I... I like United States, very much.
404 00:22:21,775 00:22:24,691 Uh, the people, very, very funny to meet me. Uh, the people, very, very funny to meet me.
405 00:22:28,999 00:22:30,610 It's okay, sit down, Farouk. It's okay, sit down, Farouk.
406 00:22:31,175 00:22:33,569 I have spent all day I have spent all day
407 00:22:33,613 00:22:36,355 preparing your favorite native dish, Farouk. preparing your favorite native dish, Farouk.
408 00:22:38,008 00:22:40,315 Stuffed beef heart. Stuffed beef heart.
409 00:22:49,150 00:22:53,502 I... You make me very funny to be here with you, I... You make me very funny to be here with you,
410 00:22:53,850 00:22:57,419 in America, my new family in United States. in America, my new family in United States.
411 00:22:57,463 00:23:00,204 I want to say to you now, as my best friend, Max I want to say to you now, as my best friend, Max
412 00:23:00,248 00:23:03,512 teach me to say... thank you, teach me to say... thank you,
413 00:23:03,860 00:23:05,993 thank you very much for this shit! thank you very much for this shit!
414 00:23:13,043 00:23:15,045 They're all Wacky Glued, sir. They're all Wacky Glued, sir.
415 00:23:15,568 00:23:18,092 Damn terrorists. This means war, Earl. Damn terrorists. This means war, Earl.
416 00:23:18,397 00:23:19,398 No quarter given. No quarter given.
417 00:23:28,494 00:23:32,106 Salamahega... ...roba. Salamahega... ...roba.
418 00:23:32,149 00:23:35,239 Aw, hell, is Farduke here? Aw, hell, is Farduke here?
419 00:23:35,501 00:23:36,589 He's always late! He's always late!
420 00:23:37,111 00:23:39,200 It's Farouk, Coach. And it's prayer time in Mecca. It's Farouk, Coach. And it's prayer time in Mecca.
421 00:23:41,724 00:23:42,769 Listen up! Listen up!
422 00:23:45,032 00:23:46,729 It took a long time It took a long time
423 00:23:47,077 00:23:49,906 to get funding for this new wrestling mat. to get funding for this new wrestling mat.
424 00:23:51,517 00:23:53,954 I want to see you treating it like your mom's best carpet. I want to see you treating it like your mom's best carpet.
425 00:23:57,697 00:23:58,654 Carpenter! Carpenter!
426 00:24:00,090 00:24:01,570 Hey, don't hurt him, Carp. Hey, don't hurt him, Carp.
427 00:24:01,831 00:24:03,050 Get him, Carp. Get him, Carp.
428 00:24:06,096 00:24:09,056 First time I did it was on my mom's best carpet. First time I did it was on my mom's best carpet.
429 00:24:09,099 00:24:11,145 Left some rude rug burns on my knees. Left some rude rug burns on my knees.
430 00:24:11,406 00:24:14,409 A small price to pay. I'd do it on asphalt. A small price to pay. I'd do it on asphalt.
431 00:24:14,453 00:24:16,367 Oh, you like pain with your pleasure? Oh, you like pain with your pleasure?
432 00:24:16,411 00:24:19,283 Hit on Hindenberg, she's the pleasure and he's the pain. Hit on Hindenberg, she's the pleasure and he's the pain.
433 00:24:19,327 00:24:22,417 Leslie? I wouldn't kick her outof bed for eating crackers. Leslie? I wouldn't kick her outof bed for eating crackers.
434 00:24:26,813 00:24:27,944 Holt! Holt!
435 00:24:28,989 00:24:31,034 Since you don't need to listen to this, Since you don't need to listen to this,
436 00:24:31,513 00:24:33,863 why don't you demonstrate a take-down on Pittman? why don't you demonstrate a take-down on Pittman?
437 00:24:34,734 00:24:37,650 But Coach, he outweighs me by a hundred pounds. But Coach, he outweighs me by a hundred pounds.
438 00:24:38,259 00:24:39,826 -This is ridiculous! -This is ridiculous!
439 00:24:40,870 00:24:42,306 Easy, I don't wanna hurt you, Pittman. Easy, I don't wanna hurt you, Pittman.
440 00:24:44,570 00:24:47,268 Come on, you guys, this ain't no sock hop. Come on, you guys, this ain't no sock hop.
441 00:24:47,703 00:24:50,053 -Come on! Come on! Come on! -Want blood? -Come on! Come on! Come on! -Want blood?
442 00:24:50,097 00:24:51,707 Get the leadout, come on now! Get the leadout, come on now!
443 00:24:52,099 00:24:53,404 - Shit! - Shit!
444 00:24:55,885 00:24:58,235 Oh, wow man, I'm sorry about your face. Oh, wow man, I'm sorry about your face.
445 00:24:58,845 00:25:00,847 Get him off the mat! Get some towels! Get him off the mat! Get some towels!
446 00:25:00,890 00:25:02,152 Stop that bleeding! Stop that bleeding!
447 00:25:02,196 00:25:03,806 It's too late, Coach, I think he's dead. It's too late, Coach, I think he's dead.
448 00:25:03,850 00:25:06,330 No, you idiot, my mat! No, you idiot, my mat!
449 00:25:21,171 00:25:23,783 How about it, Max? Do I have the stuff to be a blue flamer? How about it, Max? Do I have the stuff to be a blue flamer?
450 00:25:24,044 00:25:25,959 Well, you got the gas, Carp. Well, you got the gas, Carp.
451 00:25:26,002 00:25:27,308 Uh, how 'bout a car? Uh, how 'bout a car?
452 00:25:27,830 00:25:29,353 Well, Dad says I can have it back Well, Dad says I can have it back
453 00:25:29,397 00:25:30,746 as soon as I pay for the paint job. as soon as I pay for the paint job.
454 00:25:31,138 00:25:33,314 So, cough up the bucks, and then we'll talk. So, cough up the bucks, and then we'll talk.
455 00:25:33,619 00:25:34,707 Okay. Okay.
456 00:25:36,622 00:25:40,364 Alan, do you think your brothercould get me a job over at the Lorelei? Alan, do you think your brothercould get me a job over at the Lorelei?
457 00:25:40,408 00:25:42,976 -Please? -I'll see what I can do. -Please? -I'll see what I can do.
458 00:25:43,019 00:25:45,718 I can hardly wait to see what happens when you meet... I can hardly wait to see what happens when you meet...
459 00:25:46,109 00:25:49,373 the fascinating flatworm. the fascinating flatworm.
460 00:25:49,417 00:25:51,985 Like the sea squirt, it can reproduce asexually. Like the sea squirt, it can reproduce asexually.
461 00:25:52,028 00:25:55,684 Sometimes, the tail decides notto follow the head and presto! Sometimes, the tail decides notto follow the head and presto!
462 00:25:57,207 00:25:59,514 The worm's torn in two. This is self-mutilation. The worm's torn in two. This is self-mutilation.
463 00:25:59,862 00:26:02,125 Each part then regenerates a whole worm. Each part then regenerates a whole worm.
464 00:26:02,169 00:26:05,302 Reproduction has taken place asexually. Reproduction has taken place asexually.
465 00:26:06,608 00:26:07,740 Oh, here he is. Oh, here he is.
466 00:26:07,783 00:26:09,002 Eric March. Eric March.
467 00:26:10,830 00:26:14,007 Eric March, this is your fourthtardy this week. Eric March, this is your fourthtardy this week.
468 00:26:14,485 00:26:16,357 Please go to your lab station immediately. Please go to your lab station immediately.
469 00:26:16,400 00:26:17,880 Yeah, we be cutting some worms. Yeah, we be cutting some worms.
470 00:26:20,535 00:26:22,755 Violent effect, man, real New Wave. Violent effect, man, real New Wave.
471 00:26:25,279 00:26:27,803 Hey, yo, Hindenberg. Why don't you sit down Hey, yo, Hindenberg. Why don't you sit down
472 00:26:27,847 00:26:29,675 and take a load off your mind? and take a load off your mind?
473 00:26:31,415 00:26:33,983 -Damn it, Pittman! -Damn it, Pittman!
474 00:26:34,027 00:26:35,202 Mr. Pittman! Mr. Pittman!
475 00:26:35,724 00:26:41,121 Mr. Pittman, please.Please give me that... balloon. Mr. Pittman, please.Please give me that... balloon.
476 00:26:48,476 00:26:50,565 You may now begin to mutilate your flatworms. You may now begin to mutilate your flatworms.
477 00:26:56,745 00:26:58,747 So, you're scoping out the new girl, eh? So, you're scoping out the new girl, eh?
478 00:26:58,791 00:26:59,835 Who? Who?
479 00:26:59,879 00:27:01,271 The one with the X-rated bod. The one with the X-rated bod.
480 00:27:01,924 00:27:03,883 No, I was talkin' to Sharon. No, I was talkin' to Sharon.
481 00:27:07,887 00:27:10,280 The guy's unconscious, she's all yours. The guy's unconscious, she's all yours.
482 00:27:10,585 00:27:13,109 You snooze, you lose. Go. You snooze, you lose. Go.
483 00:27:18,462 00:27:19,855 So, what do you think of Nixon? So, what do you think of Nixon?
484 00:27:19,899 00:27:21,683 So far, it's mayo on white all the way, So far, it's mayo on white all the way,
485 00:27:21,727 00:27:23,293 and I thought Cleveland was straight. and I thought Cleveland was straight.
486 00:27:23,598 00:27:26,122 Try eatin' your lunch on the football field someday. Try eatin' your lunch on the football field someday.
487 00:27:26,166 00:27:28,603 If the wind's blowin' just righthalf the town gets stoned. If the wind's blowin' just righthalf the town gets stoned.
488 00:27:28,647 00:27:30,605 How 'bout you, buddy, do you puff up? How 'bout you, buddy, do you puff up?
489 00:27:31,171 00:27:33,608 No, that stuff kinda puts me to sleep. No, that stuff kinda puts me to sleep.
490 00:27:33,956 00:27:37,177 Uh-huh, no puff-puff, huh? Uh-huh, no puff-puff, huh?
491 00:27:37,525 00:27:39,309 You always look so spacey. You always look so spacey.
492 00:27:39,701 00:27:42,443 I guess I'm just naturally hard-- high. I guess I'm just naturally hard-- high.
493 00:27:43,487 00:27:45,315 Well, that's okay too, I guess. Well, that's okay too, I guess.
494 00:27:45,925 00:27:48,884 Excuse me, people get stoned Excuse me, people get stoned
495 00:27:49,189 00:27:50,581 for doing something such as this? for doing something such as this?
496 00:27:50,625 00:27:53,672 It seems cruel and unusual punishment. It seems cruel and unusual punishment.
497 00:27:53,715 00:27:56,152 No, Farouk, getting stoned is like smoking pot. No, Farouk, getting stoned is like smoking pot.
498 00:27:56,196 00:27:57,763 -Grass? -Yeah. -Grass? -Yeah.
499 00:27:57,806 00:27:58,677 Oh. Oh.
500 00:28:01,027 00:28:02,724 My dad was talking about you last night. My dad was talking about you last night.
501 00:28:02,768 00:28:03,986 He said you're pro material. He said you're pro material.
502 00:28:04,508 00:28:05,640 Yeah, I have a good arm. Yeah, I have a good arm.
503 00:28:06,032 00:28:08,861 He says you really stand out, a real team leader. He says you really stand out, a real team leader.
504 00:28:09,513 00:28:10,601 He said that? He said that?
505 00:28:10,645 00:28:12,473 He treats me like pond scum He treats me like pond scum
506 00:28:12,516 00:28:13,822 'cause I won't go out for football. 'cause I won't go out for football.
507 00:28:13,866 00:28:15,519 Oh, you've got it all wrong. Oh, you've got it all wrong.
508 00:28:15,563 00:28:17,739 You remind him of him when he was younger. You remind him of him when he was younger.
509 00:28:17,783 00:28:18,871 He really likes you. He really likes you.
510 00:28:19,175 00:28:20,307 Could have fooled me. Could have fooled me.
511 00:28:21,003 00:28:23,397 So, I was thinking thatif you're not doing anything So, I was thinking thatif you're not doing anything
512 00:28:23,440 00:28:24,790 Friday night, maybe we could go out. Friday night, maybe we could go out.
513 00:28:26,487 00:28:30,360 Yeah, that sounds okay, exceptthat my Trans-Am's in the shop. Yeah, that sounds okay, exceptthat my Trans-Am's in the shop.
514 00:28:31,013 00:28:33,320 That's OK, I'll pick you up in my vulva-- Volvo. That's OK, I'll pick you up in my vulva-- Volvo.
515 00:28:34,756 00:28:36,062 In that case, you're on. In that case, you're on.
516 00:28:41,502 00:28:43,112 Her vulva! Her vulva!
517 00:28:45,636 00:28:47,116 So, how'd you make out with Liz? So, how'd you make out with Liz?
518 00:28:47,595 00:28:49,815 -I think she's a loadie. -So? -I think she's a loadie. -So?
519 00:28:50,424 00:28:52,426 Just can't get the hang of these worms. Just can't get the hang of these worms.
520 00:28:52,731 00:28:54,950 There's less resistance when they're semi-conscious. There's less resistance when they're semi-conscious.
521 00:28:58,432 00:29:02,044 We now return to... Sands of Time. We now return to... Sands of Time.
522 00:29:04,394 00:29:07,528 Why, Matt. This is a surprise. Can I get you a drink? Why, Matt. This is a surprise. Can I get you a drink?
523 00:29:07,571 00:29:10,836 Max? Max, I need to talk to you, honey. Max? Max, I need to talk to you, honey.
524 00:29:10,879 00:29:13,360 I am very concerned about Farouk. I am very concerned about Farouk.
525 00:29:13,403 00:29:16,319 -He's been slightly under the weather lately. -He's been slightly under the weather lately.
526 00:29:17,059 00:29:20,802 And... and I'm afraid he feels somehow different from the rest of you boys. And... and I'm afraid he feels somehow different from the rest of you boys.
527 00:29:20,846 00:29:23,587 Face it, Mom, how many guys at Nixon pray during fourth period? Face it, Mom, how many guys at Nixon pray during fourth period?
528 00:29:24,197 00:29:27,809 Well, as his AFS sponsor,I can't help feeling responsible Well, as his AFS sponsor,I can't help feeling responsible
529 00:29:27,853 00:29:29,637 for the way he'll remember the United States. for the way he'll remember the United States.
530 00:29:30,159 00:29:33,249 These are impressionshe will carry with him for life. These are impressionshe will carry with him for life.
531 00:29:33,641 00:29:35,904 Perhaps you should ask him to join your bridge club. Perhaps you should ask him to join your bridge club.
532 00:29:35,948 00:29:37,950 I want you to take him with you tonight, Max. I want you to take him with you tonight, Max.
533 00:29:37,993 00:29:39,125 I have a date tonight! I have a date tonight!
534 00:29:39,647 00:29:41,388 And I don't know about in Abu Dhabi, And I don't know about in Abu Dhabi,
535 00:29:41,431 00:29:44,608 but in the good old USA, only two people at a time go on a date. but in the good old USA, only two people at a time go on a date.
536 00:29:45,218 00:29:48,525 Farouk hasn't had one singledate since he's been here, Max. Farouk hasn't had one singledate since he's been here, Max.
537 00:29:48,569 00:29:51,137 Well, I can't imagine why. He's had more offers in three weeks Well, I can't imagine why. He's had more offers in three weeks
538 00:29:51,180 00:29:52,181 than I've had in three years. than I've had in three years.
539 00:29:52,791 00:29:55,271 Please. Reach out, Max. Please. Reach out, Max.
540 00:29:56,272 00:29:58,405 Oh, hello, you must be Leslie. Oh, hello, you must be Leslie.
541 00:29:58,448 00:29:59,319 Hi, Mrs. Holt. Hi, Mrs. Holt.
542 00:30:01,451 00:30:03,323 -Hi, Max. -Hi. -Hi, Max. -Hi.
543 00:30:05,499 00:30:06,674 You mind if Farouk joins us? You mind if Farouk joins us?
544 00:30:11,287 00:30:15,074 In Abu Dhabi, women sit in ass of car. In Abu Dhabi, women sit in ass of car.
545 00:30:16,118 00:30:17,554 Fascinating, Farouk. Fascinating, Farouk.
546 00:30:23,125 00:30:24,213 Peaceful pastures. Peaceful pastures.
547 00:30:43,885 00:30:44,930 Is this our destination? Is this our destination?
548 00:30:45,713 00:30:48,194 Ah, yes, Peaceful Pastures. Max tell me all about this place. Ah, yes, Peaceful Pastures. Max tell me all about this place.
549 00:30:48,237 00:30:49,543 It's where people come, park the car It's where people come, park the car
550 00:30:49,586 00:30:50,892 and make sneaky sex, no? and make sneaky sex, no?
551 00:30:53,677 00:30:55,244 You might not believe this, You might not believe this,
552 00:30:55,288 00:30:58,073 but I come here a lot to meditate about life and death. but I come here a lot to meditate about life and death.
553 00:30:59,205 00:31:00,946 Could we talk about something else? Could we talk about something else?
554 00:31:13,436 00:31:16,787 Um, in Abu Dhabi, we have a game. Um, in Abu Dhabi, we have a game.
555 00:31:17,179 00:31:21,618 It's called, uh, how you say... "Sit on the Bottle." It's called, uh, how you say... "Sit on the Bottle."
556 00:31:22,184 00:31:23,969 Farouk, isn't it prayer time in Abu Dhabi? Farouk, isn't it prayer time in Abu Dhabi?
557 00:31:24,012 00:31:25,796 No, no, no, no, sun is down. No, no, no, no, sun is down.
558 00:31:26,319 00:31:28,016 It's up in Abu Dhabi. It's up in Abu Dhabi.
559 00:31:28,799 00:31:31,715 Oh, oh, okay, I get you now, Max. Oh, oh, okay, I get you now, Max.
560 00:31:32,194 00:31:33,152 I go pray. I go pray.
561 00:31:33,587 00:31:36,677 I go pray the coach not find out. I go pray the coach not find out.
562 00:31:42,074 00:31:43,727 I thought he'd never take the hint. I thought he'd never take the hint.
563 00:31:44,685 00:31:46,339 Let's not waste any more time. Let's not waste any more time.
564 00:31:48,080 00:31:52,171 Uh, Leslie, uh, this might notbe the time to mention it but... Uh, Leslie, uh, this might notbe the time to mention it but...
565 00:31:52,214 00:31:54,129 Um... Um...
566 00:31:55,478 00:31:58,481 Your father said that he would castrate anybody that laid a hand on you. Your father said that he would castrate anybody that laid a hand on you.
567 00:31:58,525 00:31:59,874 Oh, you know he didn't mean it. Oh, you know he didn't mean it.
568 00:31:59,918 00:32:03,095 Oh. Well, um, me and the guys, Oh. Well, um, me and the guys,
569 00:32:03,399 00:32:04,357 we weren't sure. we weren't sure.
570 00:32:05,097 00:32:06,925 Max, we're all alone. Max, we're all alone.
571 00:32:07,186 00:32:09,101 We may never pass this way again. We may never pass this way again.
572 00:32:09,840 00:32:11,755 Let's not talk about Daddy. Let's not talk about Daddy.
573 00:32:31,471 00:32:32,646 Oh shit. Oh shit.
574 00:32:35,736 00:32:37,564 It's about time he goes for my bra. It's about time he goes for my bra.
575 00:32:40,480 00:32:42,482 Oh, my God, the hook's in the front. Oh, my God, the hook's in the front.
576 00:32:46,051 00:32:47,966 He'll never figure this out. He'll never figure this out.
577 00:32:51,447 00:32:53,928 Oh, God, now he thinks I do this for a living. Oh, God, now he thinks I do this for a living.
578 00:32:56,887 00:32:59,803 My hip bone is killing me. My hip bone is killing me.
579 00:33:13,165 00:33:15,254 OK, looks like he's gonna take the plunge. OK, looks like he's gonna take the plunge.
580 00:33:16,864 00:33:18,997 Brace yourself for rapture. Brace yourself for rapture.
581 00:33:19,345 00:33:22,957 - Oh, Leslie! Oh no! - Oh, Leslie! Oh no!
582 00:33:23,001 00:33:25,133 Oh, no, no, no! Oh, no, no, no!
583 00:33:29,355 00:33:31,618 I can't believe this, my dad is gonna kill me. I can't believe this, my dad is gonna kill me.
584 00:33:31,661 00:33:34,447 - No, he's gonna kill me! - Holy shit. - No, he's gonna kill me! - Holy shit.
585 00:33:35,013 00:33:38,190 Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
586 00:33:40,714 00:33:42,498 Come on, you're slowin' down, Holt! Come on, you're slowin' down, Holt!
587 00:33:42,933 00:33:47,068 I told him. Leslie Hindenberg is lethal nookie. I told him. Leslie Hindenberg is lethal nookie.
588 00:33:47,634 00:33:49,070 What a way to go. What a way to go.
589 00:33:52,378 00:33:55,294 Come on, Holt, up! Get on, move it, come on! Come on, Holt, up! Get on, move it, come on!
590 00:33:56,208 00:33:58,471 Cross over, come on, come on! Cross over, come on, come on!
591 00:34:00,516 00:34:03,215 Even if I do get off restriction before I die, Even if I do get off restriction before I die,
592 00:34:03,563 00:34:05,695 no guy will ever come near me again. no guy will ever come near me again.
593 00:34:05,739 00:34:07,219 I think you're overreacting. I think you're overreacting.
594 00:34:07,262 00:34:10,483 You didn't see my dad. We're talking Godzilla on PCP. You didn't see my dad. We're talking Godzilla on PCP.
595 00:34:10,526 00:34:12,093 The Volvo is demo'd. The Volvo is demo'd.
596 00:34:12,398 00:34:14,617 That's nothing compared to what he did to Max! That's nothing compared to what he did to Max!
597 00:34:14,922 00:34:16,750 Okay, write off the guys at Nixon. Okay, write off the guys at Nixon.
598 00:34:16,793 00:34:17,925 Who else do you know? Who else do you know?
599 00:34:18,926 00:34:20,754 There's always Richard from Filmore. There's always Richard from Filmore.
600 00:34:21,059 00:34:22,973 You mean, Richard, Pittman's brother? You mean, Richard, Pittman's brother?
601 00:34:23,539 00:34:25,672 You guys broke up two years ago. You guys broke up two years ago.
602 00:34:25,715 00:34:28,022 Only because I wouldn't let him get past second base. Only because I wouldn't let him get past second base.
603 00:34:28,283 00:34:31,373 Ha. I thought it was because he had the personality of a bobby-pin. Ha. I thought it was because he had the personality of a bobby-pin.
604 00:34:32,026 00:34:34,072 He wanted me desperately, Mel. He wanted me desperately, Mel.
605 00:34:34,855 00:34:36,813 And he doesn't have my dad for PE. And he doesn't have my dad for PE.
606 00:34:39,077 00:34:40,295 Isn't that Liz? Isn't that Liz?
607 00:34:40,339 00:34:42,906 God, who'd ever thoughther dad's a cop? God, who'd ever thoughther dad's a cop?
608 00:34:42,950 00:34:44,517 No wonder she's so wild. No wonder she's so wild.
609 00:34:45,126 00:34:46,475 - Hi, girls! - Hi, girls!
610 00:34:52,699 00:34:54,179 You know what the estimate is? You know what the estimate is?
611 00:34:55,136 00:34:56,442 Twelve hundred big ones. Twelve hundred big ones.
612 00:34:57,051 00:34:59,271 But she's been so angelic this past month. But she's been so angelic this past month.
613 00:34:59,314 00:35:01,229 Doing the dishes without being asked. Doing the dishes without being asked.
614 00:35:01,273 00:35:03,927 She even offered to polish my spoon collection. She even offered to polish my spoon collection.
615 00:35:05,277 00:35:06,452 A graveyard. A graveyard.
616 00:35:07,496 00:35:10,456 What in the hell were they doingin a goddamn graveyard? What in the hell were they doingin a goddamn graveyard?
617 00:35:10,717 00:35:13,415 They were teaching Farouk the American way of death, like she said. They were teaching Farouk the American way of death, like she said.
618 00:35:13,459 00:35:15,113 Now, what would the three of them do? Now, what would the three of them do?
619 00:35:16,549 00:35:18,638 I know what I'd do in a graveyard with you. I know what I'd do in a graveyard with you.
620 00:35:22,207 00:35:23,512 Oh, Lester. Oh, Lester.
621 00:35:23,773 00:35:28,474 Lester, she's been so, so good this past month. Lester, she's been so, so good this past month.
622 00:35:28,517 00:35:32,086 I just, I just hate to... to ruin it. I just, I just hate to... to ruin it.
623 00:35:32,347 00:35:35,176 You know? Take her off restriction. You know? Take her off restriction.
624 00:35:35,437 00:35:36,612 Oh, Lester. Oh, Lester.
625 00:35:36,960 00:35:38,919 Oh, June... Oh, June...
626 00:35:40,442 00:35:43,141 You know when you do this to me,you always get your way. You know when you do this to me,you always get your way.
627 00:35:48,189 00:35:51,323 "Young white male seeks bisexual white female twins "Young white male seeks bisexual white female twins
628 00:35:51,366 00:35:52,976 with taste for parmesan cheese." with taste for parmesan cheese."
629 00:35:53,020 00:35:54,282 -Check it out. -Check it out.
630 00:35:54,717 00:35:56,589 Sometimes it's easier to do it with a stranger. Sometimes it's easier to do it with a stranger.
631 00:35:57,329 00:35:58,982 You're not suggesting I'm this desperate? You're not suggesting I'm this desperate?
632 00:35:59,418 00:36:01,768 No. Just 'cause it's Date Night USA No. Just 'cause it's Date Night USA
633 00:36:01,811 00:36:03,857 and you're spending it with your brother here at the Lorelei. and you're spending it with your brother here at the Lorelei.
634 00:36:05,554 00:36:07,208 "Have uniform, will travel. "Have uniform, will travel.
635 00:36:08,253 00:36:12,126 Experienced nurse seeks inexperienced male for hands-on training. Experienced nurse seeks inexperienced male for hands-on training.
636 00:36:12,692 00:36:16,086 Call Inga at 555-5756." Call Inga at 555-5756."
637 00:36:16,130 00:36:17,218 Gimme my zombie. Gimme my zombie.
638 00:36:19,002 00:36:20,830 Eight hours in this hell hole Eight hours in this hell hole
639 00:36:20,874 00:36:23,398 for five dollars and sixty-three cents. for five dollars and sixty-three cents.
640 00:36:23,442 00:36:26,314 Cheer up, Sunshine, didn't Ranada say something about a raise? Cheer up, Sunshine, didn't Ranada say something about a raise?
641 00:36:26,358 00:36:30,100 Oh, that slimy cheesebag, he wants to talk it over in a room. Oh, that slimy cheesebag, he wants to talk it over in a room.
642 00:36:30,405 00:36:33,191 Man, he tries anything, I mace his face. Man, he tries anything, I mace his face.
643 00:36:35,671 00:36:38,152 Look at it this way, at leastthe nurse would be enthusiastic. Look at it this way, at leastthe nurse would be enthusiastic.
644 00:36:47,944 00:36:48,989 Hello. Hello.
645 00:36:49,032 00:36:51,905 Hello, may I please speak to Inga? Hello, may I please speak to Inga?
646 00:36:52,210 00:36:53,733 Jah, this is Inga Borg. Jah, this is Inga Borg.
647 00:36:54,429 00:36:56,823 Uh, yeah, I'm calling about your ad in the.... Uh, yeah, I'm calling about your ad in the....
648 00:36:58,128 00:37:01,480 Jah, sure. What is your name? How old are you? Jah, sure. What is your name? How old are you?
649 00:37:01,523 00:37:03,873 And, uh, do you have any infectious diseases? And, uh, do you have any infectious diseases?
650 00:37:03,917 00:37:05,614 Uh, my name is Alan. Uh, my name is Alan.
651 00:37:06,180 00:37:09,836 I'll be 18 in June and I don't have herpes. I'll be 18 in June and I don't have herpes.
652 00:37:09,879 00:37:12,404 Uh, tonight is available, can you get a room? Uh, tonight is available, can you get a room?
653 00:37:12,447 00:37:13,970 Not now, Gunnar. Not now, Gunnar.
654 00:37:14,014 00:37:14,928 Uh... Uh...
655 00:37:15,189 00:37:17,060 Just come to lounge at the Lorelei Just come to lounge at the Lorelei
656 00:37:17,104 00:37:19,237 and ask the bartender for the room number. and ask the bartender for the room number.
657 00:37:19,280 00:37:20,194 Goodbye. Goodbye.
658 00:37:25,199 00:37:28,028 So, how does one go about getting a room? So, how does one go about getting a room?
659 00:37:28,855 00:37:30,160 Gimme a shooter. Gimme a shooter.
660 00:37:31,597 00:37:33,903 You know, I spent an hour in the john in 319, You know, I spent an hour in the john in 319,
661 00:37:33,947 00:37:35,296 and it's still backed up! and it's still backed up!
662 00:37:35,688 00:37:38,821 I have had enoughof this roach motel for one day. I have had enoughof this roach motel for one day.
663 00:37:44,349 00:37:47,134 Three nineteen is yours. Get the master key from Carp. Three nineteen is yours. Get the master key from Carp.
664 00:37:47,439 00:37:48,570 Where's he now? Where's he now?
665 00:37:52,661 00:37:53,967 Does that answer your question? Does that answer your question?
666 00:37:55,403 00:37:56,578 I wonder what's keeping Inga. I wonder what's keeping Inga.
667 00:37:56,622 00:37:58,841 I'll go see if the coast is clear, okay? I'll go see if the coast is clear, okay?
668 00:38:05,413 00:38:07,154 Good evening, Mr. Ranada. Good evening, Mr. Ranada.
669 00:38:07,197 00:38:08,808 Is everything under control, Carpenter? Is everything under control, Carpenter?
670 00:38:08,851 00:38:11,376 It's all hunky-dory, sir. Except for the toilet. It's all hunky-dory, sir. Except for the toilet.
671 00:38:11,419 00:38:12,942 I wouldn't go in there if I were you! I wouldn't go in there if I were you!
672 00:38:13,378 00:38:16,511 -Carpenter!-Sir, I can explain everything. -Carpenter!-Sir, I can explain everything.
673 00:38:16,555 00:38:18,208 I see you been talkin' to Sunshine. I see you been talkin' to Sunshine.
674 00:38:18,644 00:38:20,820 I really dig the bubbly, nice touch, kid. I really dig the bubbly, nice touch, kid.
675 00:38:21,429 00:38:22,996 I aim to please, sir. I aim to please, sir.
676 00:38:23,039 00:38:24,171 TV workin'? TV workin'?
677 00:38:24,737 00:38:27,130 Shit-sape, sir. I mean, ship-sate! Shit-sape, sir. I mean, ship-sate!
678 00:38:27,174 00:38:28,523 Whatever, Carpenter, whatever. Whatever, Carpenter, whatever.
679 00:38:29,132 00:38:32,614 When you see Sunshine, tell her Mr. Goodbar is waitin' on her. When you see Sunshine, tell her Mr. Goodbar is waitin' on her.
680 00:38:33,572 00:38:36,139 OK, pronto, sir. Have a swell evening, now. OK, pronto, sir. Have a swell evening, now.
681 00:38:39,012 00:38:41,057 Let it beat and let it bleed. Let it beat and let it bleed.
682 00:38:51,981 00:38:54,593 I don't believe it. I don't believe it.
683 00:38:57,596 00:39:01,034 ♪ I'm a sentimental kinda guy ♪ I'm a sentimental kinda guy
684 00:39:01,077 00:39:03,253 ♪ Kinda timid Even a little shy ♪ ♪ Kinda timid Even a little shy ♪
685 00:39:03,297 00:39:04,864 -Oh, God. -Oh, God.
686 00:39:09,956 00:39:11,784 You're early, my little raisinette. You're early, my little raisinette.
687 00:39:12,437 00:39:14,700 Oh, no, I always come on time. Oh, no, I always come on time.
688 00:39:14,743 00:39:15,614 Jesus. Jesus.
689 00:39:16,354 00:39:18,443 If only all women could say the same. If only all women could say the same.
690 00:39:22,272 00:39:24,274 You dressed up for Doctor Ranada, You dressed up for Doctor Ranada,
691 00:39:24,318 00:39:25,711 I like that. I like that.
692 00:39:25,754 00:39:27,887 You sound older than you did on the phone. You sound older than you did on the phone.
693 00:39:30,019 00:39:30,977 Sunshine? Sunshine?
694 00:39:31,673 00:39:32,761 Alan? Alan?
695 00:39:34,589 00:39:35,808 What the hell. What the hell.
696 00:39:38,332 00:39:39,464 Prick. Prick.
697 00:39:41,074 00:39:42,336 You want something else, Sunshine? You want something else, Sunshine?
698 00:39:42,597 00:39:44,033 On the house, of course. On the house, of course.
699 00:39:44,512 00:39:46,209 Okay, hit me. Okay, hit me.
700 00:39:49,387 00:39:51,563 I have not had so much fun, I have not had so much fun,
701 00:39:51,606 00:39:54,653 since Ranada broke his pinky in the cash register. since Ranada broke his pinky in the cash register.
702 00:39:56,742 00:39:58,874 Too bad it wasn't his schlong. Too bad it wasn't his schlong.
703 00:40:00,223 00:40:02,617 - Jah! - Jah!
704 00:40:02,661 00:40:04,663 You respond well to discipline. You respond well to discipline.
705 00:40:09,668 00:40:10,843 Don't panic! Don't panic!
706 00:40:11,931 00:40:13,802 Do it more, you bitch. Do it more, you bitch.
707 00:40:13,846 00:40:15,804 - God. - God.
708 00:40:23,029 00:40:25,118 No! No! Oh, jah! No! No! Oh, jah!
709 00:40:34,910 00:40:37,391 -Are you all right? -Are you all right?
710 00:40:38,261 00:40:39,654 God damn you, Carpenter. God damn you, Carpenter.
711 00:40:53,233 00:40:58,107 The male squid swims frantically searching for a female to mate with. The male squid swims frantically searching for a female to mate with.
712 00:40:58,673 00:41:00,022 The story of my life. The story of my life.
713 00:41:00,370 00:41:03,461 Then the squid slips one of his long, supple tentacles Then the squid slips one of his long, supple tentacles
714 00:41:03,504 00:41:05,114 deep inside his own mantle, deep inside his own mantle,
715 00:41:05,419 00:41:09,162 and withdraws several gelatinous packages of sperm. and withdraws several gelatinous packages of sperm.
716 00:41:09,641 00:41:11,338 Commonly known as jerking off. Commonly known as jerking off.
717 00:41:11,599 00:41:16,386 "He then thrusts his sperm deepinto the female's body cavity." "He then thrusts his sperm deepinto the female's body cavity."
718 00:41:16,778 00:41:18,780 Mmm, how romantic. Mmm, how romantic.
719 00:41:19,172 00:41:20,521 What happened to foreplay? What happened to foreplay?
720 00:41:20,782 00:41:26,440 The finale of this oceanic orgy.Yes, class, unfortunately, The finale of this oceanic orgy.Yes, class, unfortunately,
721 00:41:26,832 00:41:28,660 all the squid expire. all the squid expire.
722 00:41:28,703 00:41:31,227 Hey, Max, sounds like you and Hindenberg. Hey, Max, sounds like you and Hindenberg.
723 00:41:31,489 00:41:32,620 Lights. Lights.
724 00:41:33,316 00:41:34,666 Mr. Pittman. Mr. Pittman.
725 00:41:35,275 00:41:38,539 Simply breathtaking, gave me goose pimples. Simply breathtaking, gave me goose pimples.
726 00:41:38,887 00:41:41,150 Almost makes you wanna be a squid. Almost makes you wanna be a squid.
727 00:41:41,803 00:41:44,589 All right, class, let's get to our lab stations. All right, class, let's get to our lab stations.
728 00:41:48,723 00:41:50,986 Hey, Liz, where's your retainer? Hey, Liz, where's your retainer?
729 00:41:51,030 00:41:52,118 Shut up, kid! Shut up, kid!
730 00:41:54,250 00:41:56,383 Max, Pittman says the Blue Flamers Max, Pittman says the Blue Flamers
731 00:41:56,426 00:41:58,385 are having their meeting at the drive-in this weekend. are having their meeting at the drive-in this weekend.
732 00:41:58,428 00:41:59,342 So? So?
733 00:41:59,952 00:42:04,086 Well, I paid off the paint job.I can get my dad's car! Well, I paid off the paint job.I can get my dad's car!
734 00:42:04,130 00:42:05,914 Well, we'll take that into consideration, Carp, Well, we'll take that into consideration, Carp,
735 00:42:05,958 00:42:07,307 whenever we discuss membership. whenever we discuss membership.
736 00:42:07,350 00:42:09,657 All right, class, today you'll start dissecting All right, class, today you'll start dissecting
737 00:42:09,701 00:42:10,963 your very own squid. your very own squid.
738 00:42:11,311 00:42:14,227 After removing its mantle, be sure to determine its sex. After removing its mantle, be sure to determine its sex.
739 00:42:14,270 00:42:16,708 And class, please be very careful with the gonads. And class, please be very careful with the gonads.
740 00:42:16,969 00:42:18,492 They're quite delicate. They're quite delicate.
741 00:42:18,840 00:42:20,450 You actually ate one of those? You actually ate one of those?
742 00:42:20,494 00:42:24,063 Ah, squid. It's very good with ink. Ah, squid. It's very good with ink.
743 00:42:24,106 00:42:25,978 I'll try anything, once. I'll try anything, once.
744 00:42:26,021 00:42:28,154 Anything? I'll take you up on that this weekend. Anything? I'll take you up on that this weekend.
745 00:42:28,589 00:42:31,287 You mean, like go out or somethin'? You mean, like go out or somethin'?
746 00:42:31,331 00:42:32,811 Well, I was thinking about it. Well, I was thinking about it.
747 00:42:32,854 00:42:34,943 There's something I'd like to talk to you about, alone. There's something I'd like to talk to you about, alone.
748 00:42:34,987 00:42:37,380 It may be important. It's very important. It may be important. It's very important.
749 00:42:37,424 00:42:39,034 It's more important than you think. It's more important than you think.
750 00:42:39,644 00:42:41,689 -Friday night okay? -Perfect. -Friday night okay? -Perfect.
751 00:42:49,349 00:42:50,480 Hello? Hello?
752 00:42:50,524 00:42:52,134 Hello, may I please speak to Richard? Hello, may I please speak to Richard?
753 00:42:52,178 00:42:53,266 Just a minute, dear. Just a minute, dear.
754 00:42:53,309 00:42:54,702 - Les? - Les?
755 00:42:58,227 00:42:59,533 Hello, Richard? Hello, Richard?
756 00:42:59,577 00:43:01,448 Hi, this is Leslie Hindenberg. Hi, this is Leslie Hindenberg.
757 00:43:02,928 00:43:04,451 Yeah, long time no see. Yeah, long time no see.
758 00:43:06,061 00:43:07,715 The reason I'm calling is... The reason I'm calling is...
759 00:43:08,150 00:43:11,371 I got to thinkin' about how muchfun we used to have together. I got to thinkin' about how muchfun we used to have together.
760 00:43:12,938 00:43:15,854 And I thought maybe you'd like to get together, And I thought maybe you'd like to get together,
761 00:43:15,897 00:43:19,292 you know, for old times' sake. Like maybe this weekend? you know, for old times' sake. Like maybe this weekend?
762 00:43:22,948 00:43:26,212 Oh, I think we have lots to talk about, you know? Oh, I think we have lots to talk about, you know?
763 00:43:26,255 00:43:29,432 -I've matured a lot, Richard. -I've matured a lot, Richard.
764 00:43:30,085 00:43:32,174 Sure, I'll return your Van Halen records. Sure, I'll return your Van Halen records.
765 00:43:33,132 00:43:35,134 Okay, great. I'll see you then. Okay, great. I'll see you then.
766 00:43:36,657 00:43:38,659 -Bye. -Talk about hard up! -Bye. -Talk about hard up!
767 00:43:38,703 00:43:41,270 Isn't he the one with the personality of a bobby-pin? Isn't he the one with the personality of a bobby-pin?
768 00:43:41,706 00:43:44,273 I've changed, Jennifer, I'm sure he has too. I've changed, Jennifer, I'm sure he has too.
769 00:43:44,317 00:43:47,146 Now, get out of here. Out, out, out! Now, get out of here. Out, out, out!
770 00:43:47,189 00:43:49,235 Fine! Fine!
771 00:43:53,631 00:43:56,851 Michael, the girls in the Flower brothel won't disappoint you. Michael, the girls in the Flower brothel won't disappoint you.
772 00:43:58,070 00:43:58,984 The car! The car!
773 00:44:11,039 00:44:12,258 Is there something wrong? Is there something wrong?
774 00:44:13,563 00:44:15,827 Afraid so, Alan. I have something I have to tell you. Afraid so, Alan. I have something I have to tell you.
775 00:44:15,870 00:44:17,263 It's Mushroom Malone, isn't it? It's Mushroom Malone, isn't it?
776 00:44:17,829 00:44:19,569 No, it's worse than Mushroom. No, it's worse than Mushroom.
777 00:44:29,841 00:44:34,410 -Is something wrong? -Just... hold me, Richard. -Is something wrong? -Just... hold me, Richard.
778 00:44:39,328 00:44:40,503 Leslie, uh.... Leslie, uh....
779 00:44:40,982 00:44:43,724 You used to love it when I... kissed your neck, remember? You used to love it when I... kissed your neck, remember?
780 00:44:45,030 00:44:48,642 And I remember when you used to kiss my ears. And I remember when you used to kiss my ears.
781 00:44:48,903 00:44:50,513 It drove me crazy. It drove me crazy.
782 00:44:51,993 00:44:53,168 Ow! Ow!
783 00:44:54,082 00:44:55,605 When did you pierce your ears? When did you pierce your ears?
784 00:44:56,432 00:44:58,434 Hey, fasten your seatbelts, Flamers! Hey, fasten your seatbelts, Flamers!
785 00:44:58,478 00:45:00,741 I had Brussels sprouts, baked beans, I had Brussels sprouts, baked beans,
786 00:45:00,785 00:45:02,787 -and date bars for dinner. -and date bars for dinner.
787 00:45:03,309 00:45:05,920 I hadSwedish meatballs, lentil loaf, I hadSwedish meatballs, lentil loaf,
788 00:45:05,964 00:45:09,010 marinated artichokes, bon-bons with prune whip! marinated artichokes, bon-bons with prune whip!
789 00:45:10,751 00:45:13,711 Max, tell me now. What is this Blue Flamers? Max, tell me now. What is this Blue Flamers?
790 00:45:14,276 00:45:16,670 I'm not who you think I am. There's a lot you don't know about me, I'm not who you think I am. There's a lot you don't know about me,
791 00:45:16,714 00:45:17,802 a great deal, very much. a great deal, very much.
792 00:45:18,237 00:45:20,195 Why pry? I know all I need to know. Why pry? I know all I need to know.
793 00:45:20,239 00:45:21,327 No, you don't know. No, you don't know.
794 00:45:21,370 00:45:22,850 -I do know. -You may not wanna know. -I do know. -You may not wanna know.
795 00:45:22,894 00:45:24,765 What could I possible know that would make me know you What could I possible know that would make me know you
796 00:45:24,809 00:45:25,810 better than I know you now? better than I know you now?
797 00:45:26,680 00:45:30,118 Alan, I'm a narc. Police Officer. Alan, I'm a narc. Police Officer.
798 00:45:30,423 00:45:31,946 When I finish my assignment at Nixon, When I finish my assignment at Nixon,
799 00:45:32,381 00:45:34,253 Mushroom and 36 others are gonna be busted on Monday, Mushroom and 36 others are gonna be busted on Monday,
800 00:45:34,296 00:45:36,124 and I'll be starting over againsomewhere else. and I'll be starting over againsomewhere else.
801 00:45:36,168 00:45:38,083 Another high school,another district, another town. Another high school,another district, another town.
802 00:45:38,126 00:45:39,432 That's what it means to be a narc. That's what it means to be a narc.
803 00:45:39,954 00:45:42,087 You're the only one I'm gonna miss when I'm gone, Alan. You're the only one I'm gonna miss when I'm gone, Alan.
804 00:45:42,478 00:45:44,872 Those pill heads and pot heads deserve what they get. Those pill heads and pot heads deserve what they get.
805 00:45:44,916 00:45:46,482 A one-way ticket to the slammer. A one-way ticket to the slammer.
806 00:45:48,746 00:45:51,183 Is anybody gonna know that it was me? Is anybody gonna know that it was me?
807 00:45:51,444 00:45:52,837 Not unless you tell 'em. Not unless you tell 'em.
808 00:45:52,880 00:45:55,404 Oh, no chance in hell. I can keep a secret. Oh, no chance in hell. I can keep a secret.
809 00:45:56,623 00:45:58,103 I knew I could trust you, Alan. I knew I could trust you, Alan.
810 00:45:58,712 00:46:01,541 And I had to tell you because, well, And I had to tell you because, well,
811 00:46:01,584 00:46:03,543 even though I'm 30 and you're 17, even though I'm 30 and you're 17,
812 00:46:03,586 00:46:05,458 I'm really attracted to you, Alan. I'm really attracted to you, Alan.
813 00:46:06,851 00:46:08,069 Of course, having sex with a minor Of course, having sex with a minor
814 00:46:08,591 00:46:10,332 could get me off the force and I have my career to consider. could get me off the force and I have my career to consider.
815 00:46:11,159 00:46:13,727 But honestly, Alan, I get all hot and weak when I'm kissing you. But honestly, Alan, I get all hot and weak when I'm kissing you.
816 00:46:14,641 00:46:16,730 Let's not talk about wasted youth, Alan. Let's not talk about wasted youth, Alan.
817 00:46:16,774 00:46:20,603 Kiss me again and I'll throw this badge out the window and live for the now. Kiss me again and I'll throw this badge out the window and live for the now.
818 00:46:22,649 00:46:25,173 Um, Liz, that is your name, isn't it? Um, Liz, that is your name, isn't it?
819 00:46:25,478 00:46:28,698 It's Kathy. Reagan, no relation. It's Kathy. Reagan, no relation.
820 00:46:30,004 00:46:31,789 I think I just wanna go home. I think I just wanna go home.
821 00:46:40,101 00:46:42,364 - Anybody got a light? - Light, light. - Anybody got a light? - Light, light.
822 00:46:47,369 00:46:48,980 To the eternal blue flame. To the eternal blue flame.
823 00:46:49,023 00:46:50,459 To the eternal blue flame. To the eternal blue flame.
824 00:46:50,503 00:46:51,547 To the eternal blue flame. To the eternal blue flame.
825 00:46:55,029 00:46:56,074 Max, Max! Max, Max!
826 00:46:59,642 00:47:01,514 - Elmer, let's go. - I'm doin' it. - Elmer, let's go. - I'm doin' it.
827 00:47:04,473 00:47:06,301 Wait, wait, I think I've got one. Wait, wait, I think I've got one.
828 00:47:06,345 00:47:07,737 Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
829 00:47:07,781 00:47:08,956 It's probably a little poop! It's probably a little poop!
830 00:47:09,000 00:47:10,523 Yeah a little poo, yeah! Yeah a little poo, yeah!
831 00:47:11,567 00:47:13,308 Oh, my God. Look at that! Oh, my God. Look at that!
832 00:47:13,352 00:47:15,397 Huh? Ah... Huh? Ah...
833 00:47:15,441 00:47:16,746 He's on fire! He's on fire!
834 00:47:17,530 00:47:18,836 - Jerks. - Jerks.
835 00:47:20,707 00:47:22,622 You're sick! You guys are sick! You're sick! You guys are sick!
836 00:47:24,624 00:47:26,452 I really wanna make it up to you. I really wanna make it up to you.
837 00:47:27,453 00:47:28,846 Leslie, you don't have to do that. Leslie, you don't have to do that.
838 00:47:29,411 00:47:31,674 But I want to, Richard. I want you. But I want to, Richard. I want you.
839 00:47:32,240 00:47:36,592 I want... I wanna let you do everything I wouldn't let you do before. I want... I wanna let you do everything I wouldn't let you do before.
840 00:47:36,636 00:47:37,724 Everything! Everything!
841 00:47:38,333 00:47:40,205 Leslie! Leslie, I'm... Leslie! Leslie, I'm...
842 00:47:40,466 00:47:43,295 I'm involved with somebody else,right now. I'm involved with somebody else,right now.
843 00:47:44,252 00:47:46,298 I don't care if you marry her,Richard, I don't care if you marry her,Richard,
844 00:47:46,864 00:47:48,561 I just wanna have you once. I just wanna have you once.
845 00:47:50,737 00:47:52,043 Leslie, I can't! Leslie, I can't!
846 00:47:53,218 00:47:54,828 Yes, you can, Richard. Yes, you can, Richard.
847 00:47:56,874 00:48:00,834 Remember how you used to always want me to... Remember how you used to always want me to...
848 00:48:01,139 00:48:04,403 What are you doing?Leslie, he wouldn't understand! What are you doing?Leslie, he wouldn't understand!
849 00:48:05,447 00:48:06,579 He? He?
850 00:48:17,677 00:48:20,288 Yeah, man, I feel mother lode settin' in. Yeah, man, I feel mother lode settin' in.
851 00:48:20,332 00:48:22,160 I'm with you, I'm with you. I'm with you, I'm with you.
852 00:48:29,863 00:48:30,951 Decent. Decent.
853 00:48:38,437 00:48:41,396 "What's wrong with me, anyway? I never break out. "What's wrong with me, anyway? I never break out.
854 00:48:41,831 00:48:43,268 I use a deodorant. I use a deodorant.
855 00:48:43,659 00:48:45,879 People say I have a cute personality. People say I have a cute personality.
856 00:48:46,706 00:48:50,275 But my sex appeal's enough to turn my old boyfriend off women. But my sex appeal's enough to turn my old boyfriend off women.
857 00:48:51,754 00:48:55,845 I'm trying to be an easy lay. Doesn't that count anymore?" I'm trying to be an easy lay. Doesn't that count anymore?"
858 00:48:56,629 00:48:58,022 - Get in there! - Get in there!
859 00:49:01,460 00:49:03,027 Pittman, get your ass up here! Pittman, get your ass up here!
860 00:49:03,418 00:49:04,942 Don't take it personally, Les. Don't take it personally, Les.
861 00:49:05,377 00:49:07,205 According to my mom, a lot of guys these days According to my mom, a lot of guys these days
862 00:49:07,248 00:49:09,076 can't get it up and get it in. can't get it up and get it in.
863 00:49:09,120 00:49:12,427 For years, my dad's been telling me teenage boys want just one thing. For years, my dad's been telling me teenage boys want just one thing.
864 00:49:12,688 00:49:14,386 I always thought he meant girls. I always thought he meant girls.
865 00:49:14,647 00:49:17,563 Hey, Sharon, Miss Bismark says everyone suits up, Hey, Sharon, Miss Bismark says everyone suits up,
866 00:49:17,824 00:49:19,260 even if you are menstruating. even if you are menstruating.
867 00:49:20,044 00:49:21,306 I hate that word. I hate that word.
868 00:49:21,784 00:49:25,310 My mom always says:"Is Aunt Tilly coming to visit?" My mom always says:"Is Aunt Tilly coming to visit?"
869 00:49:25,353 00:49:27,355 --Mine just calls it "the curse." --Mine just calls it "the curse."
870 00:49:28,052 00:49:29,009 Girls. Girls.
871 00:49:58,125 00:49:59,822 Wanna catch pneumonia? Wanna catch pneumonia?
872 00:50:15,490 00:50:18,276 Is it my imagination, or is Sharon Mondo pregnant? Is it my imagination, or is Sharon Mondo pregnant?
873 00:50:18,711 00:50:20,104 You don't know that for sure. You don't know that for sure.
874 00:50:21,757 00:50:23,716 Oh, yeah. Maybe it's just a tumor. Oh, yeah. Maybe it's just a tumor.
875 00:50:24,064 00:50:25,544 Not funny, Mel. Not funny, Mel.
876 00:50:25,979 00:50:27,154 I wonder who the daddy is. I wonder who the daddy is.
877 00:50:27,850 00:50:30,027 Moby Dick! Moby Dick!
878 00:50:30,766 00:50:32,551 Give it a rest, Pittman! Give it a rest, Pittman!
879 00:50:38,644 00:50:41,473 That does it, Pittman! We're gonna see Porter right now! That does it, Pittman! We're gonna see Porter right now!
880 00:50:43,214 00:50:45,129 OK, this is it! D-Day. OK, this is it! D-Day.
881 00:50:45,172 00:50:48,306 All right, but listen now.I want you to remember your radio mic. All right, but listen now.I want you to remember your radio mic.
882 00:50:48,741 00:50:51,265 You got guys sittin' in a van about two blocks from here, You got guys sittin' in a van about two blocks from here,
883 00:50:51,309 00:50:52,571 if you get in any kind of trouble. if you get in any kind of trouble.
884 00:50:58,881 00:51:00,231 Sharon, what's going on? Sharon, what's going on?
885 00:51:00,274 00:51:01,667 Oh, I'm leaving school. Oh, I'm leaving school.
886 00:51:02,668 00:51:04,496 Potatohead acted like I was contagious. Potatohead acted like I was contagious.
887 00:51:05,584 00:51:08,717 I said: "Look buddy, there's no way you're gonna catch what I've got." I said: "Look buddy, there's no way you're gonna catch what I've got."
888 00:51:09,588 00:51:11,633 - You're kicked out?- He said school policy. - You're kicked out?- He said school policy.
889 00:51:11,677 00:51:14,419 Can transfer to night school. I said: "What about my job at the med center?" Can transfer to night school. I said: "What about my job at the med center?"
890 00:51:14,462 00:51:16,377 -He said, take it like a man. -He said, take it like a man.
891 00:51:16,421 00:51:18,336 That's not fair, ruin your whole life! That's not fair, ruin your whole life!
892 00:51:18,379 00:51:20,164 Who's talking fair? We're in high school. Who's talking fair? We're in high school.
893 00:51:21,078 00:51:22,862 Correction, I was in high school. Correction, I was in high school.
894 00:51:23,167 00:51:25,647 -So, uh, who's the father? -Just a guy. -So, uh, who's the father? -Just a guy.
895 00:51:26,039 00:51:27,910 He said: "I can't deal with this." He said: "I can't deal with this."
896 00:51:27,954 00:51:29,303 I said: "That's cool with me." I said: "That's cool with me."
897 00:51:30,565 00:51:32,785 Sharon, you don't have to tell me this if it'’s too personal, Sharon, you don't have to tell me this if it'’s too personal,
898 00:51:32,828 00:51:34,700 but is it any good the first time? but is it any good the first time?
899 00:51:35,440 00:51:38,399 It wasn't great, but we did it again and it got better. It wasn't great, but we did it again and it got better.
900 00:51:38,443 00:51:40,880 Really? Wow. Really? Wow.
901 00:51:42,621 00:51:44,231 Do you really want this baby? Do you really want this baby?
902 00:51:44,275 00:51:46,625 Well, part of me says: "What a drag." Well, part of me says: "What a drag."
903 00:51:46,668 00:51:49,106 Another part says: "You're a big girl, Sharon, Another part says: "You're a big girl, Sharon,
904 00:51:49,149 00:51:51,064 you can handle this." And besides, you can handle this." And besides,
905 00:51:51,108 00:51:52,370 then I'll have someone to talk to. then I'll have someone to talk to.
906 00:51:52,805 00:51:53,893 God. God.
907 00:51:54,372 00:51:56,461 I just wish the father would call once in a while. I just wish the father would call once in a while.
908 00:51:56,765 00:51:58,898 I'll probably never see him now that I'm out of here. I'll probably never see him now that I'm out of here.
909 00:51:58,941 00:52:01,118 -You're not out of here yet! -You're not out of here yet!
910 00:52:02,336 00:52:03,381 What do you mean? What do you mean?
911 00:52:25,359 00:52:27,056 "I've been very selfish. "I've been very selfish.
912 00:52:27,361 00:52:30,190 I've been thinking sex was more important than anything. I've been thinking sex was more important than anything.
913 00:52:30,756 00:52:33,628 I want to leave my mark in thisworld and it must be more I want to leave my mark in thisworld and it must be more
914 00:52:33,672 00:52:35,935 than a wet spot in somebody's backseat." than a wet spot in somebody's backseat."
915 00:52:41,723 00:52:45,205 Definitely the work of a genius. But is it art? Definitely the work of a genius. But is it art?
916 00:52:45,249 00:52:46,554 Smells like Wacky Glue to me. Smells like Wacky Glue to me.
917 00:52:51,255 00:52:52,430 Holy Jesus. Holy Jesus.
918 00:52:55,128 00:52:58,000 Certainly, Sharon has a constitutional right to graduate, Certainly, Sharon has a constitutional right to graduate,
919 00:52:58,262 00:53:00,612 but she can do that at night school as I told her. but she can do that at night school as I told her.
920 00:53:00,655 00:53:03,136 But, she's not a threat to anybody else's education. But, she's not a threat to anybody else's education.
921 00:53:03,789 00:53:06,400 High school is not a democracy, Leslie! High school is not a democracy, Leslie!
922 00:53:07,009 00:53:08,837 Think of it as the Marines. Think of it as the Marines.
923 00:53:09,229 00:53:11,013 Would the Russians take us seriously Would the Russians take us seriously
924 00:53:11,057 00:53:13,102 if we let the non-coms call the shots? Hell no! if we let the non-coms call the shots? Hell no!
925 00:53:14,278 00:53:17,411 First they'd... they'd laugh their heads off. First they'd... they'd laugh their heads off.
926 00:53:18,151 00:53:20,284 And then, they'd air-mail the big one. And then, they'd air-mail the big one.
927 00:53:20,588 00:53:22,721 I don't wanna start a war, Mr. Porter. I don't wanna start a war, Mr. Porter.
928 00:53:23,025 00:53:25,680 I'd just like to see Sharon graduate with the rest of us. I'd just like to see Sharon graduate with the rest of us.
929 00:53:25,724 00:53:28,857 But you bend over to accommodate one individual, But you bend over to accommodate one individual,
930 00:53:28,901 00:53:31,338 and the next thing you know,you can't sit down for a month! and the next thing you know,you can't sit down for a month!
931 00:53:35,647 00:53:36,822 You know what's going on out there? You know what's going on out there?
932 00:53:38,432 00:53:39,694 No, I don't know. No, I don't know.
933 00:53:45,483 00:53:46,397 OK. OK.
934 00:53:52,098 00:53:54,840 Tears of joy streamed from little Tammy Larson's one eye, the other day, Tears of joy streamed from little Tammy Larson's one eye, the other day,
935 00:53:54,883 00:53:56,972 when Santa Claus paid an early visit to her hospital bed. when Santa Claus paid an early visit to her hospital bed.
936 00:53:57,799 00:54:00,628 Potatohead has no principles, just regulations. Potatohead has no principles, just regulations.
937 00:54:00,672 00:54:01,586 Hold it, Les. Hold it, Les.
938 00:54:01,890 00:54:04,197 The love of my life is speaking to me. The love of my life is speaking to me.
939 00:54:04,458 00:54:07,113 The twinkle in Santa's eye will be just a memory for Tammy. The twinkle in Santa's eye will be just a memory for Tammy.
940 00:54:07,156 00:54:09,071 So, there's a man with principles. So, there's a man with principles.
941 00:54:09,115 00:54:10,290 You can see it in his eyes. You can see it in his eyes.
942 00:54:10,334 00:54:11,422 ...may save her sight. ...may save her sight.
943 00:54:11,813 00:54:13,467 The Larsons, however, have already exhausted... The Larsons, however, have already exhausted...
944 00:54:13,511 00:54:14,947 Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
945 00:54:16,992 00:54:18,864 The lights will get dimmer and dimmer for tiny Tammy The lights will get dimmer and dimmer for tiny Tammy
946 00:54:18,907 00:54:22,781 until the final blackout, unless-- unless you and I... until the final blackout, unless-- unless you and I...
947 00:54:23,347 00:54:25,392 I knew you'd understand, Mr. Vincent. I knew you'd understand, Mr. Vincent.
948 00:54:25,436 00:54:27,699 It's a tragic story that needs to be heard. It's a tragic story that needs to be heard.
949 00:54:27,742 00:54:28,656 Me? Me?
950 00:54:29,788 00:54:32,181 I'm a highly placed person at Nixon, I'm a highly placed person at Nixon,
951 00:54:32,225 00:54:34,183 you can just think of me as Deep Throat. you can just think of me as Deep Throat.
952 00:54:38,187 00:54:39,363 Meet you in person? Meet you in person?
953 00:54:40,320 00:54:42,583 At the Lorelei? All right. At the Lorelei? All right.
954 00:54:45,238 00:54:46,457 Goodbye, Mr. Vincent. Goodbye, Mr. Vincent.
955 00:54:47,719 00:54:48,633 Ted. Ted.
956 00:54:49,764 00:54:52,245 Did you hear that? He said: "Just call me Ted!" Did you hear that? He said: "Just call me Ted!"
957 00:54:52,289 00:54:54,856 Oh, my God! I'm so happy for you, I could kill you! Oh, my God! I'm so happy for you, I could kill you!
958 00:54:56,162 00:54:57,555 Oh, God. What am I going to wear? Oh, God. What am I going to wear?
959 00:54:58,512 00:54:59,948 Think sophisticated, Les. Think sophisticated, Les.
960 00:54:59,992 00:55:03,343 If he finds out "highly placed"means a senior at Nixon, If he finds out "highly placed"means a senior at Nixon,
961 00:55:03,387 00:55:05,171 he'll never lay a hand on you. he'll never lay a hand on you.
962 00:55:05,476 00:55:06,825 You think I could pull it off? You think I could pull it off?
963 00:55:07,739 00:55:09,001 Let him do that. Let him do that.
964 00:55:14,441 00:55:16,269 Leslie, I ache for that girl. Leslie, I ache for that girl.
965 00:55:16,835 00:55:19,968 But these days,it takes a fucking quadriplegic But these days,it takes a fucking quadriplegic
966 00:55:20,012 00:55:21,709 to wring those tear ducts in TV-land. to wring those tear ducts in TV-land.
967 00:55:22,014 00:55:23,494 But even though she's not a quad, But even though she's not a quad,
968 00:55:24,059 00:55:26,105 if you'd seen her cleaning out her locker, if you'd seen her cleaning out her locker,
969 00:55:26,148 00:55:29,282 cleaning out her dreams. It would break your heart. cleaning out her dreams. It would break your heart.
970 00:55:29,326 00:55:32,372 Hey, relax, huh? Relax. Hey, relax, huh? Relax.
971 00:55:33,155 00:55:34,635 Let's not start a downer here. Let's not start a downer here.
972 00:55:35,201 00:55:36,071 Come on. Come on.
973 00:55:36,768 00:55:40,685 Just relax, surrenderto your shoulder blades, Leslie. Just relax, surrenderto your shoulder blades, Leslie.
974 00:55:41,381 00:55:45,080 Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
975 00:55:46,343 00:55:47,387 Yeah, really. Yeah, really.
976 00:55:48,083 00:55:49,737 Esalen taught me to feel, Leslie. Esalen taught me to feel, Leslie.
977 00:55:51,391 00:55:53,828 Now, I suck up life like a new born baby. Now, I suck up life like a new born baby.
978 00:55:55,003 00:55:57,832 When I make love, and I make love, Leslie, When I make love, and I make love, Leslie,
979 00:55:57,876 00:56:02,576 I don't screw anymore, I go all the way to infinity. I don't screw anymore, I go all the way to infinity.
980 00:56:05,449 00:56:07,102 I think you and I could find infinity, I think you and I could find infinity,
981 00:56:07,146 00:56:08,713 maybe three or four times tonight. maybe three or four times tonight.
982 00:56:10,454 00:56:13,065 Excuse me a minute, I have to use the bathroom. Excuse me a minute, I have to use the bathroom.
983 00:56:14,762 00:56:16,721 Hey, I'll order champagne for blast-off. Hey, I'll order champagne for blast-off.
984 00:56:16,764 00:56:17,939 That would be wonderful. That would be wonderful.
985 00:56:25,207 00:56:28,385 Hey, Mr. Dinko, we ain't runnin'a day care center here. Hey, Mr. Dinko, we ain't runnin'a day care center here.
986 00:56:28,428 00:56:29,908 But boss, he's my kid-- But boss, he's my kid--
987 00:56:30,343 00:56:33,259 It's okay! Maybe the Sheraton'sa better place for the Christmas Ball. It's okay! Maybe the Sheraton'sa better place for the Christmas Ball.
988 00:56:33,694 00:56:36,784 Whoa, whoa! Why didn't you tell me this was a business call? Whoa, whoa! Why didn't you tell me this was a business call?
989 00:56:37,219 00:56:40,092 -Here, give the kid a drink. -Hey, 'bout time, Carp. -Here, give the kid a drink. -Hey, 'bout time, Carp.
990 00:56:41,223 00:56:42,921 302 needs a bottle of champagne. 302 needs a bottle of champagne.
991 00:56:42,964 00:56:45,489 - It's halfway there. -No, it's right here. - It's halfway there. -No, it's right here.
992 00:56:48,100 00:56:49,580 What kind of budget you workin' with? What kind of budget you workin' with?
993 00:56:52,060 00:56:54,976 Wow, Ted Vincent! Wow, Ted Vincent!
994 00:56:55,368 00:56:56,500 There you are, kid. There you are, kid.
995 00:56:57,457 00:56:59,111 -Thanks, sir. -Hey! -Thanks, sir. -Hey!
996 00:57:01,330 00:57:02,680 -Thanks. -Sorry. -Thanks. -Sorry.
997 00:57:17,825 00:57:18,870 You know, Leslie... You know, Leslie...
998 00:57:20,219 00:57:22,743 people like that patheticbellboy think I have everything. people like that patheticbellboy think I have everything.
999 00:57:23,396 00:57:28,445 Nobody sees the heartache that goes with being so handsome and famous. Nobody sees the heartache that goes with being so handsome and famous.
1000 00:57:28,967 00:57:31,752 "Hold the diaphragm down, and press the opposite sides "Hold the diaphragm down, and press the opposite sides
1001 00:57:31,796 00:57:34,538 of the rim together between the thumb and third finger." of the rim together between the thumb and third finger."
1002 00:57:39,543 00:57:41,675 Boy, this one's a mother. Boy, this one's a mother.
1003 00:57:45,200 00:57:48,290 Come on, Les, millions of women do this every day. Come on, Les, millions of women do this every day.
1004 00:57:51,685 00:57:55,080 I'll bet you do everything with a savage intensity. I'll bet you do everything with a savage intensity.
1005 00:57:55,994 00:57:57,169 I know I do. I know I do.
1006 00:58:03,784 00:58:06,134 What are you doing so intensely in there? What are you doing so intensely in there?
1007 00:58:11,575 00:58:13,664 Just have a check in by the fifteenth. Just have a check in by the fifteenth.
1008 00:58:13,707 00:58:15,361 And don't worry about the food, And don't worry about the food,
1009 00:58:15,404 00:58:17,145 our meatballs are the talk of the town. our meatballs are the talk of the town.
1010 00:58:17,450 00:58:19,104 Especially at poison control. Especially at poison control.
1011 00:58:19,147 00:58:21,149 You found the way to his heart, kid. You found the way to his heart, kid.
1012 00:58:21,193 00:58:23,935 -Where's Carp? -I know where he is. -Where's Carp? -I know where he is.
1013 00:58:23,978 00:58:24,979 Follow me. Follow me.
1014 00:58:33,031 00:58:33,988 Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
1015 00:58:34,032 00:58:35,294 He's in here. He's in here.
1016 00:58:45,609 00:58:48,350 Jeez, I gotta fix this bastard. Jeez, I gotta fix this bastard.
1017 00:58:49,134 00:58:51,919 Carp? Come out, come out, where ever you are. Carp? Come out, come out, where ever you are.
1018 00:58:51,963 00:58:53,921 I think he's in the back. I think he's in the back.
1019 00:58:54,443 00:58:56,402 You can't really hear anything back there. You can't really hear anything back there.
1020 00:58:57,446 00:58:58,317 Carp? Carp?
1021 00:59:08,588 00:59:10,938 Ah, at last. Ah, at last.
1022 00:59:12,244 00:59:13,724 I thought maybe you fell in. I thought maybe you fell in.
1023 00:59:15,116 00:59:16,117 Ambrosia? Ambrosia?
1024 00:59:17,075 00:59:18,076 Thank you. Thank you.
1025 00:59:24,909 00:59:26,563 Climb aboard the magic carpet. Climb aboard the magic carpet.
1026 00:59:40,054 00:59:41,360 Can we turn down the lights? Can we turn down the lights?
1027 00:59:43,405 00:59:47,235 I just want to make it... special, you know, romantic. I just want to make it... special, you know, romantic.
1028 00:59:50,325 00:59:52,719 You're here, Leslie, that's makes you special. You're here, Leslie, that's makes you special.
1029 00:59:53,024 00:59:54,373 And I'm a special guy. And I'm a special guy.
1030 00:59:57,681 01:00:00,553 I was hoping it would meanas much to you as it does to me. I was hoping it would meanas much to you as it does to me.
1031 01:00:00,597 01:00:02,337 It does, it means a lot to me. It does, it means a lot to me.
1032 01:00:02,990 01:00:04,339 I cancelled a bunny for you. I cancelled a bunny for you.
1033 01:00:04,731 01:00:06,080 But let's not talk about me. But let's not talk about me.
1034 01:00:12,783 01:00:15,133 Listen, don't be so uptight, kid. Listen, don't be so uptight, kid.
1035 01:00:15,394 01:00:17,004 You got nothin' to worry about. You got nothin' to worry about.
1036 01:00:17,048 01:00:20,834 I simply want you to relax, lay back and enjoy. I simply want you to relax, lay back and enjoy.
1037 01:00:21,095 01:00:24,969 Just let old Roberta take complete charge here. Just let old Roberta take complete charge here.
1038 01:00:25,360 01:00:26,579 Do I have a choice? Do I have a choice?
1039 01:00:26,971 01:00:30,322 Now, the first thing we're gonna do is drop the drawers. Now, the first thing we're gonna do is drop the drawers.
1040 01:00:30,365 01:00:31,279 That's okay. That's okay.
1041 01:00:31,802 01:00:35,153 You gotta peel the banana before you can eat it. You gotta peel the banana before you can eat it.
1042 01:00:35,457 01:00:37,068 You don't mess around, do you? You don't mess around, do you?
1043 01:00:37,111 01:00:39,897 I take my men like I take my liquor, I take my men like I take my liquor,
1044 01:00:39,940 01:00:42,029 straight and hard. straight and hard.
1045 01:00:43,901 01:00:45,642 Come on, come on. Come on, come on.
1046 01:00:47,513 01:00:50,211 Hey now, just wait a second here. Hey now, just wait a second here.
1047 01:00:55,913 01:01:01,962 Nothing personal, precious, but I've seen the heartache of herpes. Nothing personal, precious, but I've seen the heartache of herpes.
1048 01:01:04,356 01:01:07,576 I can't, this is all wrong.I don't even know why I'm here. I can't, this is all wrong.I don't even know why I'm here.
1049 01:01:07,620 01:01:09,100 I thought you wanted to help Sharon. I thought you wanted to help Sharon.
1050 01:01:09,143 01:01:10,536 I do, but not like this. I do, but not like this.
1051 01:01:10,579 01:01:13,757 Now, look.You do for me and I do for you. Now, look.You do for me and I do for you.
1052 01:01:13,800 01:01:15,584 That's what good sex is all about. That's what good sex is all about.
1053 01:01:16,281 01:01:19,240 Oh, please, don't. I really never thought it would come to this. Oh, please, don't. I really never thought it would come to this.
1054 01:01:20,067 01:01:21,590 Baby, you haven't seen anything yet. Baby, you haven't seen anything yet.
1055 01:01:21,634 01:01:22,766 I'm gonna take you to Mars! I'm gonna take you to Mars!
1056 01:01:24,419 01:01:26,247 I'm 17-years-old, Mr. Vincent, I'm 17-years-old, Mr. Vincent,
1057 01:01:26,291 01:01:27,553 and you can take it to Uranus! and you can take it to Uranus!
1058 01:01:27,596 01:01:28,641 You're 17? You're 17?
1059 01:01:28,685 01:01:30,251 And even if I never turn 18, And even if I never turn 18,
1060 01:01:30,295 01:01:31,818 I'm gonna get Sharon back in school, I'm gonna get Sharon back in school,
1061 01:01:31,862 01:01:33,080 with or without your help! with or without your help!
1062 01:01:33,385 01:01:35,387 Hey, now, look, there's no need to panic. Hey, now, look, there's no need to panic.
1063 01:01:36,562 01:01:38,738 You know, I'm dying to do that story on your friend. You know, I'm dying to do that story on your friend.
1064 01:01:38,782 01:01:41,654 Pregnant teenager, no future. Wow! What a hook! Pregnant teenager, no future. Wow! What a hook!
1065 01:01:42,611 01:01:44,265 Do you think I can get some air in here? Do you think I can get some air in here?
1066 01:01:44,570 01:01:47,529 Sheesh, you really know how to kill a mood, kid. Sheesh, you really know how to kill a mood, kid.
1067 01:01:54,536 01:01:57,888 Like I said, don't do much for the atmosphere. Like I said, don't do much for the atmosphere.
1068 01:02:00,499 01:02:02,196 That's okay, kid! That's okay, kid!
1069 01:02:02,675 01:02:05,373 Whenever you're ready, you know where to find me. Whenever you're ready, you know where to find me.
1070 01:02:11,945 01:02:15,035 You're just too much woman, Roberta. You're just too much woman, Roberta.
1071 01:02:16,515 01:02:18,691 You're just too hot to handle. You're just too hot to handle.
1072 01:02:25,742 01:02:28,962 Hi, tiger. Listen, sweetie, I'm over here at the Lorelei Hi, tiger. Listen, sweetie, I'm over here at the Lorelei
1073 01:02:29,006 01:02:30,877 and I'm holding a ticket to paradise. and I'm holding a ticket to paradise.
1074 01:02:31,182 01:02:32,444 Can you meet me in 45 minutes? Can you meet me in 45 minutes?
1075 01:02:33,271 01:02:34,141 Ciao. Ciao.
1076 01:02:38,755 01:02:39,799 Yeah! Yeah!
1077 01:02:43,542 01:02:44,891 Alan, what are you doing here? Alan, what are you doing here?
1078 01:02:44,935 01:02:46,458 Uh, just lookin' for the Carp. Uh, just lookin' for the Carp.
1079 01:02:46,501 01:02:47,720 He's never around when you need him. He's never around when you need him.
1080 01:02:48,199 01:02:49,287 What are you doin' here? What are you doin' here?
1081 01:02:49,330 01:02:51,593 Um, my Aunt Tilly's coming to visit. Um, my Aunt Tilly's coming to visit.
1082 01:02:52,246 01:02:54,727 She's a cleanliness fanatic.I was checking the rooms. She's a cleanliness fanatic.I was checking the rooms.
1083 01:02:54,771 01:02:57,034 Yeah, I guess so. Hey, you want me to walk you to your car? Yeah, I guess so. Hey, you want me to walk you to your car?
1084 01:02:57,077 01:02:59,210 You never know who's gonna jump you in a place like this. You never know who's gonna jump you in a place like this.
1085 01:02:59,253 01:03:02,909 Well, it seems that Mr. Bones iscaught up in the holiday spirit. Well, it seems that Mr. Bones iscaught up in the holiday spirit.
1086 01:03:05,999 01:03:07,174 Highly amusing. Highly amusing.
1087 01:03:09,046 01:03:11,439 Stuck on you with Wacky Glue, Miss Post. Stuck on you with Wacky Glue, Miss Post.
1088 01:03:13,572 01:03:15,182 Leave him alone, he's blind. Leave him alone, he's blind.
1089 01:03:15,835 01:03:17,532 So much for Mr. Bones' humerus. So much for Mr. Bones' humerus.
1090 01:03:29,631 01:03:31,764 The old man got himself pretty dead, eh, Max? The old man got himself pretty dead, eh, Max?
1091 01:03:35,072 01:03:36,334 That might have been a critical call That might have been a critical call
1092 01:03:36,377 01:03:37,552 and now we'll never know. and now we'll never know.
1093 01:03:38,510 01:03:42,122 I've obtained a delightful filmon the reproductive system of the horny toad. I've obtained a delightful filmon the reproductive system of the horny toad.
1094 01:03:42,166 01:03:45,430 Please be advised that this material will be covered in Friday's quiz. Please be advised that this material will be covered in Friday's quiz.
1095 01:03:56,397 01:03:59,052 Now that we've all had our fun,perhaps someone other than I Now that we've all had our fun,perhaps someone other than I
1096 01:03:59,096 01:04:01,054 might hoist the projector into place. might hoist the projector into place.
1097 01:04:01,098 01:04:02,795 Please, Ed help me, now. Please, Ed help me, now.
1098 01:04:33,260 01:04:35,523 Ready to roll when you are, Ms. Post. Ready to roll when you are, Ms. Post.
1099 01:04:35,567 01:04:38,570 Pay close attention when the male mounts the female's back. Pay close attention when the male mounts the female's back.
1100 01:04:38,613 01:04:40,659 At his touch she releases thousands of eggs, At his touch she releases thousands of eggs,
1101 01:04:40,702 01:04:44,532 as they come tumbling out of herhe spews sperm all over them. as they come tumbling out of herhe spews sperm all over them.
1102 01:04:45,185 01:04:48,797 I think that you'll agreewith me that in some ways theircourtship is almost elegant. I think that you'll agreewith me that in some ways theircourtship is almost elegant.
1103 01:04:51,452 01:04:55,500 Oh, my... no, no, no, no! I know this isn't right. Oh, my... no, no, no, no! I know this isn't right.
1104 01:04:55,543 01:04:57,110 I ordered A Tale of Two Toads. I ordered A Tale of Two Toads.
1105 01:05:02,072 01:05:04,335 I've seen this one before at my cousin's stag party. I've seen this one before at my cousin's stag party.
1106 01:05:05,684 01:05:06,728 You're an animal! You're an animal!
1107 01:05:07,512 01:05:09,688 You, you people, you're all animals! You, you people, you're all animals!
1108 01:05:10,167 01:05:11,951 You're a disgrace to evolution! You're a disgrace to evolution!
1109 01:05:20,742 01:05:24,181 Oh, Mr. Porter, I just can't take it anymore. Oh, Mr. Porter, I just can't take it anymore.
1110 01:05:24,224 01:05:26,923 I just can't take it! I wanna go back to pre-school I just can't take it! I wanna go back to pre-school
1111 01:05:26,966 01:05:29,229 where sex is a three-letter wordthat nobody understands! where sex is a three-letter wordthat nobody understands!
1112 01:05:29,273 01:05:30,927 Easy, Ms. Post! Get a grip on yourself! Easy, Ms. Post! Get a grip on yourself!
1113 01:05:31,492 01:05:33,190 Earl, you'd better check it out. Earl, you'd better check it out.
1114 01:05:33,233 01:05:34,147 Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
1115 01:05:34,191 01:05:35,366 It was horrible! It was horrible! It was horrible! It was horrible!
1116 01:05:35,409 01:05:36,976 I mean,I know it's a natural function, I mean,I know it's a natural function,
1117 01:05:37,020 01:05:38,717 birds do it, bees do it, everybody does it, birds do it, bees do it, everybody does it,
1118 01:05:38,760 01:05:41,328 but it's all they think about! It's all I think about. but it's all they think about! It's all I think about.
1119 01:05:41,372 01:05:43,026 Come on! Snap out of it, Ms. Post! Come on! Snap out of it, Ms. Post!
1120 01:05:43,504 01:05:45,942 Come on! Heads up! Heads up! Come on! Heads up! Heads up!
1121 01:05:45,985 01:05:48,292 Shoulders back! Suck in that gut! Shoulders back! Suck in that gut!
1122 01:05:48,335 01:05:49,380 Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
1123 01:05:49,771 01:05:52,035 'Cause you've got to stop behaving like a woman! 'Cause you've got to stop behaving like a woman!
1124 01:05:52,600 01:05:56,126 In this outfit, you are an officer! You got that? In this outfit, you are an officer! You got that?
1125 01:05:56,604 01:05:57,736 Oh, yes, sir. Oh, yes, sir.
1126 01:05:57,779 01:06:00,478 Well, pull it together! Take that hill. Well, pull it together! Take that hill.
1127 01:06:01,479 01:06:03,655 Thank you, sir. I'll do my best, sir. Thank you, sir. I'll do my best, sir.
1128 01:06:03,698 01:06:04,612 Yes. Yes.
1129 01:06:09,922 01:06:10,923 Women! Women!
1130 01:06:13,360 01:06:14,535 Our school system. Our school system.
1131 01:06:14,971 01:06:17,234 It's designed to make productive citizens, of our youth. It's designed to make productive citizens, of our youth.
1132 01:06:17,277 01:06:18,322 Or is it? Or is it?
1133 01:06:18,365 01:06:19,627 Did I miss anything? Did I miss anything?
1134 01:06:19,671 01:06:21,499 Shh, Ted Vincent's on, honey. Shh, Ted Vincent's on, honey.
1135 01:06:21,542 01:06:22,891 Sharon attends classes at the med center. Sharon attends classes at the med center.
1136 01:06:23,153 01:06:25,024 She is intelligent, she is ambitious, She is intelligent, she is ambitious,
1137 01:06:25,285 01:06:27,984 she is also pregnant. And there's the rub. she is also pregnant. And there's the rub.
1138 01:06:28,375 01:06:31,291 It seems that the school system would rather see Sharon on the welfare role, It seems that the school system would rather see Sharon on the welfare role,
1139 01:06:31,335 01:06:32,989 than attending classes at Nixon. than attending classes at Nixon.
1140 01:06:33,032 01:06:36,340 Does the school system care that this destroys her dreams Does the school system care that this destroys her dreams
1141 01:06:36,383 01:06:37,602 of a career in health services? of a career in health services?
1142 01:06:38,081 01:06:39,560 But Sharon's classmates do. Meet the people responsible But Sharon's classmates do. Meet the people responsible
1143 01:06:39,604 01:06:41,432 -for bringing this to our attention. -There she is. -for bringing this to our attention. -There she is.
1144 01:06:41,475 01:06:44,435 Leslie Hindenberg and Melanie Taylor. Leslie Hindenberg and Melanie Taylor.
1145 01:06:45,044 01:06:46,872 Miss Hindenberg, Community Close-up would like to know Miss Hindenberg, Community Close-up would like to know
1146 01:06:46,915 01:06:49,527 why, in this age of apathy, you cared enough to get involved? why, in this age of apathy, you cared enough to get involved?
1147 01:06:49,875 01:06:52,051 I saw a wrong and tried to right it. I saw a wrong and tried to right it.
1148 01:06:52,573 01:06:54,097 We hate all injustice. We hate all injustice.
1149 01:06:54,488 01:06:56,490 Weren't you worried that your actions Weren't you worried that your actions
1150 01:06:56,534 01:06:58,318 might label you as a little trouble maker? might label you as a little trouble maker?
1151 01:06:59,493 01:07:01,234 It just didn't seem important. It just didn't seem important.
1152 01:07:02,148 01:07:04,498 I think what Miss Hindenberg is trying to say I think what Miss Hindenberg is trying to say
1153 01:07:04,542 01:07:06,457 is that she had the compassion to put her own future is that she had the compassion to put her own future
1154 01:07:06,500 01:07:08,024 on the line for her friend. on the line for her friend.
1155 01:07:08,067 01:07:09,938 Not many of us would be so unselfish. Not many of us would be so unselfish.
1156 01:07:09,982 01:07:11,853 Not many of us have only six weeks to live. Not many of us have only six weeks to live.
1157 01:07:13,029 01:07:14,595 Leslie wants to use her final days Leslie wants to use her final days
1158 01:07:14,639 01:07:16,162 -to do something for mankind. -Melanie! -to do something for mankind. -Melanie!
1159 01:07:16,728 01:07:18,991 We'll be right back with more on this inspirational story, We'll be right back with more on this inspirational story,
1160 01:07:19,035 01:07:21,167 live and exclusively onCommunity Close-up. live and exclusively onCommunity Close-up.
1161 01:07:22,125 01:07:23,735 We'll be right back with more news We'll be right back with more news
1162 01:07:23,778 01:07:24,953 after a word from our sponsor. after a word from our sponsor.
1163 01:07:25,432 01:07:27,521 That's just the question I was going to ask you! That's just the question I was going to ask you!
1164 01:07:27,913 01:07:29,523 What's wrong with your daughter? What's wrong with your daughter?
1165 01:07:29,567 01:07:31,612 How the hell should I know? You're the doctor! How the hell should I know? You're the doctor!
1166 01:07:31,960 01:07:34,267 It's a harmless mole, she's not going die. It's a harmless mole, she's not going die.
1167 01:07:34,659 01:07:35,573 She's not? She's not?
1168 01:07:36,139 01:07:37,879 No, and I did not tell her she was going to die. No, and I did not tell her she was going to die.
1169 01:07:37,923 01:07:40,752 -You didn't? -No, Leslie's fine. Goodnight. -You didn't? -No, Leslie's fine. Goodnight.
1170 01:07:43,668 01:07:45,974 Somebody's got some explaining to do! Somebody's got some explaining to do!
1171 01:07:46,018 01:07:48,107 I knew it was too good to be true. I knew it was too good to be true.
1172 01:07:49,326 01:07:51,023 But I overheard Dr. Fox say-- But I overheard Dr. Fox say--
1173 01:07:51,067 01:07:52,633 It's only a mole, damn it! It's only a mole, damn it!
1174 01:07:52,677 01:07:54,548 They're rarely fatal, honey. They're rarely fatal, honey.
1175 01:07:54,592 01:07:56,855 Wait till everyone at school finds out. Wait till everyone at school finds out.
1176 01:07:56,898 01:07:59,162 If you tell anyone I'm gonna live, I'll kill you. If you tell anyone I'm gonna live, I'll kill you.
1177 01:08:00,772 01:08:04,167 Hey, Hinden-- Leslie. Give me five, buddy. Hey, Hinden-- Leslie. Give me five, buddy.
1178 01:08:05,255 01:08:07,996 Hey, you did good, you know. I'm real proud of you. Hey, you did good, you know. I'm real proud of you.
1179 01:08:08,040 01:08:10,738 Thanks. I'm sure you'd've done the same thing. Thanks. I'm sure you'd've done the same thing.
1180 01:08:10,782 01:08:14,046 Hell, no, I'd probably be too busy tryin' to get laid or something. Hell, no, I'd probably be too busy tryin' to get laid or something.
1181 01:08:14,090 01:08:17,615 Hey, Leslie, Leslie. I was just thinkin' Hey, Leslie, Leslie. I was just thinkin'
1182 01:08:17,658 01:08:19,747 I'm really gonna miss that look on your face, I'm really gonna miss that look on your face,
1183 01:08:19,791 01:08:21,445 you know, when you get really pissed-off. you know, when you get really pissed-off.
1184 01:08:22,141 01:08:25,101 Thanks, Tim, but the doctor says I might be in remission. Thanks, Tim, but the doctor says I might be in remission.
1185 01:08:30,454 01:08:33,892 Miss Hindenberg? My deepest sympathy. Miss Hindenberg? My deepest sympathy.
1186 01:08:34,632 01:08:38,026 And may it ease your mind to know that Sharon will be coming back. And may it ease your mind to know that Sharon will be coming back.
1187 01:08:38,418 01:08:39,463 That's great. That's great.
1188 01:08:41,465 01:08:42,727 No prints, sir. No prints, sir.
1189 01:08:44,685 01:08:45,860 Nice fish. Nice fish.
1190 01:08:46,513 01:08:47,775 No, Max. No, Max.
1191 01:08:47,819 01:08:48,907 Mr. Holt! Mr. Holt!
1192 01:08:50,300 01:08:52,258 Oh, you're a real comedian, aren't you, son? Oh, you're a real comedian, aren't you, son?
1193 01:08:52,606 01:08:54,304 I like to laugh, if that's what you mean. I like to laugh, if that's what you mean.
1194 01:08:54,826 01:08:57,350 All right, son. If that's the way you wanna play it. All right, son. If that's the way you wanna play it.
1195 01:08:57,394 01:08:59,657 You just remember that I've got you under surveillance. You just remember that I've got you under surveillance.
1196 01:08:59,700 01:09:01,833 Sooner or later, you're gonna step into your own glue, Sooner or later, you're gonna step into your own glue,
1197 01:09:02,094 01:09:03,965 and it'll be my turn to laugh! and it'll be my turn to laugh!
1198 01:09:04,314 01:09:05,532 Ha, ha! Ha, ha!
1199 01:09:12,670 01:09:15,368 No lie, Allison, she never was gonna die. No lie, Allison, she never was gonna die.
1200 01:09:15,629 01:09:17,936 That's what her little sister told my little sister. That's what her little sister told my little sister.
1201 01:09:18,458 01:09:20,504 Hi, Candy. Thanks for the card. Hi, Candy. Thanks for the card.
1202 01:09:20,939 01:09:23,202 Hold onto it. Someday you might even die for real. Hold onto it. Someday you might even die for real.
1203 01:09:27,946 01:09:30,296 Some people will do anything for attention. Some people will do anything for attention.
1204 01:09:38,391 01:09:39,610 -Hi, Les. -Hi. -Hi, Les. -Hi.
1205 01:09:40,219 01:09:42,917 I can't believe what you did, telling everybody you were dying. I can't believe what you did, telling everybody you were dying.
1206 01:09:42,961 01:09:44,876 I mean, everybody was saying: "What a geek." I mean, everybody was saying: "What a geek."
1207 01:09:44,919 01:09:46,573 I said: "There goes a true friend." I said: "There goes a true friend."
1208 01:09:49,533 01:09:53,319 Well, well, well, if it isn't the girl who would not die. Well, well, well, if it isn't the girl who would not die.
1209 01:09:55,669 01:09:59,195 In Abu Dhabi, nobody die. You just come back in a different body. In Abu Dhabi, nobody die. You just come back in a different body.
1210 01:09:59,238 01:10:02,676 Yeah, Hindenberg, next time come back with a boob-job. Yeah, Hindenberg, next time come back with a boob-job.
1211 01:10:02,720 01:10:07,507 Now class, today we climax our adventure with a look at human reproduction. Now class, today we climax our adventure with a look at human reproduction.
1212 01:10:08,291 01:10:09,727 Unlike the promiscuous alley cat, Unlike the promiscuous alley cat,
1213 01:10:10,075 01:10:12,120 humans may mate for love. humans may mate for love.
1214 01:10:12,469 01:10:14,079 In the process of careful selection, In the process of careful selection,
1215 01:10:14,122 01:10:16,908 humans can increase the odds of passing on desirable genes. humans can increase the odds of passing on desirable genes.
1216 01:10:16,951 01:10:19,084 - Like big tits! - Like big tits!
1217 01:10:20,477 01:10:21,565 Thank you, Mr. Pittman. Thank you, Mr. Pittman.
1218 01:10:21,869 01:10:23,915 For instance, can you do this? For instance, can you do this?
1219 01:10:26,091 01:10:28,093 You'll find that some of you can touch the tip or your nose You'll find that some of you can touch the tip or your nose
1220 01:10:28,136 01:10:29,877 with your tongue and some of yousimply cannot. with your tongue and some of yousimply cannot.
1221 01:10:30,226 01:10:34,012 I can. Why don't you try, and then look around and graph the results. I can. Why don't you try, and then look around and graph the results.
1222 01:10:35,143 01:10:36,406 Go ahead. Try it. Go ahead. Try it.
1223 01:10:37,276 01:10:38,973 Hey, Leslie, glad to see you're still around Hey, Leslie, glad to see you're still around
1224 01:10:39,017 01:10:41,802 to pass your genes onto some little Hindenberger. to pass your genes onto some little Hindenberger.
1225 01:10:44,849 01:10:46,242 Thank you, Mr. Pittman. Thank you, Mr. Pittman.
1226 01:10:49,462 01:10:52,465 "It's all I can do to get out of bed and live through another day. "It's all I can do to get out of bed and live through another day.
1227 01:10:53,249 01:10:56,208 When they started laughing, part of me died. When they started laughing, part of me died.
1228 01:10:56,861 01:10:59,385 All I can do is pretend I don't care, All I can do is pretend I don't care,
1229 01:10:59,429 01:11:02,345 and move to outer Mongolia when I graduate." and move to outer Mongolia when I graduate."
1230 01:11:10,788 01:11:12,920 I can't stand the silent treatment. I can't stand the silent treatment.
1231 01:11:13,443 01:11:15,575 Yell at me if you want, but say something. Yell at me if you want, but say something.
1232 01:11:15,619 01:11:17,621 Too late to kiss up now, rat face. Too late to kiss up now, rat face.
1233 01:11:17,969 01:11:20,363 As far as I'm concerned, I'm now an only child. As far as I'm concerned, I'm now an only child.
1234 01:11:20,406 01:11:22,016 Mom's really worried about you. Mom's really worried about you.
1235 01:11:22,843 01:11:24,932 She and Dad are talkin' about shrinks. She and Dad are talkin' about shrinks.
1236 01:11:25,237 01:11:26,499 Unnecessary. Unnecessary.
1237 01:11:27,457 01:11:29,720 Tomorrow night's the Christmas Ball. Tomorrow night's the Christmas Ball.
1238 01:11:29,763 01:11:31,156 Ask me if I care. Ask me if I care.
1239 01:11:31,591 01:11:34,986 But Leslie, you were doing a lot more living But Leslie, you were doing a lot more living
1240 01:11:35,378 01:11:36,988 when you thought you were dying. when you thought you were dying.
1241 01:11:37,771 01:11:40,208 Now that you're living, you act like you're dead. Now that you're living, you act like you're dead.
1242 01:11:41,340 01:11:43,560 That's so heavy,I don't know if I can grasp it. That's so heavy,I don't know if I can grasp it.
1243 01:11:44,387 01:11:47,433 I thought high school's supposedto be the neatest time time in a girl's life. I thought high school's supposedto be the neatest time time in a girl's life.
1244 01:11:48,260 01:11:50,001 Whatever gave you that idea? Whatever gave you that idea?
1245 01:11:52,046 01:11:54,701 I can't believe what my mother had the gall to serve for dinner last night. I can't believe what my mother had the gall to serve for dinner last night.
1246 01:11:55,354 01:11:57,748 Roast lamb's head marinated in olive oil. Roast lamb's head marinated in olive oil.
1247 01:11:58,314 01:12:01,795 I almost puked. Farouk, he loved it. I almost puked. Farouk, he loved it.
1248 01:12:03,231 01:12:04,711 What smut are you reading now? What smut are you reading now?
1249 01:12:06,496 01:12:09,934 Whoa, we're talkin' serious desperation, here, Alan. Whoa, we're talkin' serious desperation, here, Alan.
1250 01:12:12,415 01:12:14,373 Can I see it when you're finished? I sure could use it. Can I see it when you're finished? I sure could use it.
1251 01:12:14,417 01:12:16,462 Ha, ha, don't make me laugh. Ha, ha, don't make me laugh.
1252 01:12:16,506 01:12:19,204 No, no, really! Guess how many times I've scored this year. No, no, really! Guess how many times I've scored this year.
1253 01:12:19,247 01:12:20,988 No thanks, it'll only depress me. No thanks, it'll only depress me.
1254 01:12:21,598 01:12:25,210 Zero. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Nil and void. Zero. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Nil and void.
1255 01:12:26,472 01:12:28,953 Farouk moved in and my social life moved out. Farouk moved in and my social life moved out.
1256 01:12:28,996 01:12:30,650 I can't go anywhere alone, now. I can't go anywhere alone, now.
1257 01:12:31,259 01:12:33,827 Except for the john, and even that's not safe. Except for the john, and even that's not safe.
1258 01:12:33,871 01:12:35,089 The guy doesn't knock. The guy doesn't knock.
1259 01:12:35,133 01:12:36,526 I'm gonna die a virgin, Max. I'm gonna die a virgin, Max.
1260 01:12:36,874 01:12:40,878 I'm lookin' forward to fiftyyears plus of today's celibacy. I'm lookin' forward to fiftyyears plus of today's celibacy.
1261 01:13:04,902 01:13:07,557 ♪ Last night I thought About you and me ♪ ♪ Last night I thought About you and me ♪
1262 01:13:08,862 01:13:12,344 ♪ And about that shiny little Engagement ring ♪ ♪ And about that shiny little Engagement ring ♪
1263 01:13:12,388 01:13:16,043 ♪ You never call me And it's making me cry ♪ ♪ You never call me And it's making me cry ♪
1264 01:13:16,087 01:13:18,655 ♪ You never call me And I wanna die ♪ ♪ You never call me And I wanna die ♪
1265 01:13:19,786 01:13:22,398 ♪ But then this morning When I checked the mail ♪ ♪ But then this morning When I checked the mail ♪
1266 01:13:23,703 01:13:26,924 ♪ Just one more ad About the evening sale ♪ ♪ Just one more ad About the evening sale ♪
1267 01:13:27,403 01:13:30,667 ♪ Just breaks my heart 'Cause you did not Send a letter ♪ ♪ Just breaks my heart 'Cause you did not Send a letter ♪
1268 01:13:31,189 01:13:34,801 ♪ My friends are sayin': "Boy, better just forget her" ♪ ♪ My friends are sayin': "Boy, better just forget her" ♪
1269 01:13:34,845 01:13:36,020 ♪ 'Cause you never ♪ 'Cause you never
1270 01:13:36,542 01:13:38,675 Hey, Hindenberg, you're lookinga little pasty there aren't you? Hey, Hindenberg, you're lookinga little pasty there aren't you?
1271 01:13:38,936 01:13:41,852 Say, uh, you're not gonna croak on us again, are you? Say, uh, you're not gonna croak on us again, are you?
1272 01:13:42,505 01:13:44,898 ♪ You never call me On the telephone ♪ ♪ You never call me On the telephone ♪
1273 01:13:46,204 01:13:49,425 ♪ You never call me And I'm so alone ♪ ♪ You never call me And I'm so alone ♪
1274 01:13:53,516 01:13:56,736 ♪ Maybe someday I'll get you back again ♪ ♪ Maybe someday I'll get you back again ♪
1275 01:13:56,780 01:14:00,000 ♪ There ain't no tellin' When I might be a winner ♪ ♪ There ain't no tellin' When I might be a winner ♪
1276 01:14:01,480 01:14:04,004 ♪ Maybe someday I'll make you understand ♪ ♪ Maybe someday I'll make you understand ♪
1277 01:14:04,048 01:14:07,486 ♪ You can't ever live Without me ♪ ♪ You can't ever live Without me ♪
1278 01:14:07,530 01:14:11,751 ♪ No, I play guitar And I sing in a band ♪ ♪ No, I play guitar And I sing in a band ♪
1279 01:14:11,795 01:14:14,798 ♪ There ain't no reason Why you shouldn't like me ♪ ♪ There ain't no reason Why you shouldn't like me ♪
1280 01:14:15,799 01:14:19,193 ♪ Last time I saw you You were walkin' hand in hand ♪ ♪ Last time I saw you You were walkin' hand in hand ♪
1281 01:14:19,237 01:14:22,153 ♪ With some other guy That I'd never seen before ♪ ♪ With some other guy That I'd never seen before ♪
1282 01:14:22,501 01:14:23,894 ♪ And you never ♪ ♪ And you never ♪
1283 01:14:26,200 01:14:27,941 ♪ You never call me ♪ You never call me
1284 01:14:29,987 01:14:32,642 ♪ You never call me On the telephone ♪ ♪ You never call me On the telephone ♪
1285 01:14:33,817 01:14:37,081 ♪ You never call me And I'm so alone ♪ ♪ You never call me And I'm so alone ♪
1286 01:14:54,925 01:14:58,319 ♪ I took you dancing On your birthday in Harlem ♪ ♪ I took you dancing On your birthday in Harlem ♪
1287 01:14:58,363 01:15:01,584 ♪ And I don't like dancing But I knew you would ♪ ♪ And I don't like dancing But I knew you would ♪
1288 01:15:02,193 01:15:04,500 ♪ You left me standing By the disco... ♪ ♪ You left me standing By the disco... ♪
1289 01:15:04,543 01:15:06,197 They make 'em that big in Abu Dhabi? They make 'em that big in Abu Dhabi?
1290 01:15:07,024 01:15:09,592 Breath test patrol, can youtouch your finger to your nose? Breath test patrol, can youtouch your finger to your nose?
1291 01:15:09,635 01:15:11,071 Cool it, Mel, you wanna get us busted? Cool it, Mel, you wanna get us busted?
1292 01:15:11,115 01:15:12,116 Bribe me, I'm easy. Bribe me, I'm easy.
1293 01:15:12,464 01:15:14,727 I feel so happy, Max. That give me good head. I feel so happy, Max. That give me good head.
1294 01:15:14,771 01:15:15,902 Yeah, if only it could. Yeah, if only it could.
1295 01:15:16,294 01:15:18,688 The only thing I need to make this party just perfect, The only thing I need to make this party just perfect,
1296 01:15:18,731 01:15:20,777 is a beautiful woman to love me. is a beautiful woman to love me.
1297 01:15:20,820 01:15:21,995 Yeah, I can relate. Yeah, I can relate.
1298 01:15:22,039 01:15:23,910 They're not hard to find if you look, Max. They're not hard to find if you look, Max.
1299 01:15:23,954 01:15:26,522 She may be just a step away, just waiting for you to ask her to dance. She may be just a step away, just waiting for you to ask her to dance.
1300 01:15:27,479 01:15:29,525 ♪ You never call me ♪ You never call me
1301 01:15:31,396 01:15:33,920 ♪ You never call me On the telephone ♪ ♪ You never call me On the telephone ♪
1302 01:15:34,921 01:15:37,576 ♪ You never call me ♪ You never call me
1303 01:15:38,838 01:15:42,059 ♪ You never never never ♪ You never never never
1304 01:15:43,321 01:15:45,236 Hi, Leslie. Lookin' good. Hi, Leslie. Lookin' good.
1305 01:15:45,497 01:15:46,498 Want some punch? Want some punch?
1306 01:15:51,329 01:15:53,200 Carp, you got meat sauce in it. Carp, you got meat sauce in it.
1307 01:15:53,244 01:15:54,462 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1308 01:15:55,028 01:15:56,290 OK, here we go. OK, here we go.
1309 01:15:57,074 01:15:58,118 That's good. That's good.
1310 01:15:58,641 01:15:59,555 Okay. Okay.
1311 01:15:59,990 01:16:01,426 -Carp? -Yeah. -Carp? -Yeah.
1312 01:16:01,948 01:16:03,123 How you doin'? How you doin'?
1313 01:16:03,167 01:16:05,038 Oh, I'm doin' great. Have a good day. Oh, I'm doin' great. Have a good day.
1314 01:16:13,656 01:16:15,788 -You wanna dance? -Sure. -You wanna dance? -Sure.
1315 01:16:30,977 01:16:32,979 Even trade, Carp.Two of these babies for a room. Even trade, Carp.Two of these babies for a room.
1316 01:16:33,458 01:16:35,721 Those? Um, red pills give me hives. Those? Um, red pills give me hives.
1317 01:16:37,201 01:16:39,595 -Aren't you on probation? -That's the point, man! -Aren't you on probation? -That's the point, man!
1318 01:16:39,638 01:16:42,119 I can't party in public these days. I can't party in public these days.
1319 01:16:42,380 01:16:44,991 Hey, Ms. Post! Are you havin' a good time? Hey, Ms. Post! Are you havin' a good time?
1320 01:16:45,035 01:16:46,950 Oh, yes, thank you very much, Mr. Holt, I am. Oh, yes, thank you very much, Mr. Holt, I am.
1321 01:16:47,603 01:16:50,693 Mr. Holt, might I have some of that ethanol tucked under your coat, there? Mr. Holt, might I have some of that ethanol tucked under your coat, there?
1322 01:16:52,085 01:16:53,130 Yeah. Yeah.
1323 01:16:54,044 01:16:55,001 Cheers. Cheers.
1324 01:16:57,047 01:16:58,091 You like it? You like it?
1325 01:16:58,135 01:16:59,919 Very fine, carry on. Very fine, carry on.
1326 01:17:00,572 01:17:04,315 Melanie, I give you box of candyand then you go out with me. Melanie, I give you box of candyand then you go out with me.
1327 01:17:04,837 01:17:07,100 Thanks anyway, but chocolate makes me break out. Thanks anyway, but chocolate makes me break out.
1328 01:17:07,144 01:17:08,101 Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
1329 01:17:11,148 01:17:12,192 It's 104! It's 104!
1330 01:17:26,990 01:17:28,469 Great genes! Great genes!
1331 01:17:31,690 01:17:34,084 These bells are giving me a migraine. These bells are giving me a migraine.
1332 01:17:35,563 01:17:36,564 Excuse me. Excuse me.
1333 01:17:37,783 01:17:39,132 What's your name? What's your name?
1334 01:17:39,742 01:17:40,656 Dinko. Dinko.
1335 01:17:41,134 01:17:45,182 Mr. Dinko, would you like to dance with me? Mr. Dinko, would you like to dance with me?
1336 01:17:48,838 01:17:49,882 I love this woman. I love this woman.
1337 01:17:51,841 01:17:54,104 Love is a four letter word. Love is a four letter word.
1338 01:17:55,192 01:17:58,499 -Guess who. -It sure ain't Santa Claus. -Guess who. -It sure ain't Santa Claus.
1339 01:18:36,755 01:18:39,976 No shit, I met some great connections in drug school. No shit, I met some great connections in drug school.
1340 01:18:40,585 01:18:42,108 You name it, I can get it. You name it, I can get it.
1341 01:18:43,327 01:18:45,285 No thanks, I never touch that stuff. No thanks, I never touch that stuff.
1342 01:18:45,764 01:18:47,853 Hey, mellow out, Edstein! Hey, mellow out, Edstein!
1343 01:18:48,332 01:18:49,463 Sit down and party. Sit down and party.
1344 01:18:50,029 01:18:51,683 Thanks, I like the view from here. Thanks, I like the view from here.
1345 01:18:54,468 01:18:56,601 Oh, you change your mind? Oh, you change your mind?
1346 01:19:01,127 01:19:04,000 I mean, it changed the way I looked at things, I mean, it changed the way I looked at things,
1347 01:19:04,043 01:19:06,176 like the meaning of life, death and sex. like the meaning of life, death and sex.
1348 01:19:06,219 01:19:07,481 You left out love. You left out love.
1349 01:19:08,091 01:19:10,093 I didn't think I had time for that. I didn't think I had time for that.
1350 01:19:10,746 01:19:14,445 Yeah, me neither.I just wanted to get laid. Yeah, me neither.I just wanted to get laid.
1351 01:19:14,488 01:19:15,838 You mean, you haven't either? You mean, you haven't either?
1352 01:19:21,191 01:19:24,890 When I was a girl, we learned Latin in school When I was a girl, we learned Latin in school
1353 01:19:24,934 01:19:26,936 and sex in the streets. and sex in the streets.
1354 01:19:27,501 01:19:31,114 Now how are they gonna learn Latin in the streets? Now how are they gonna learn Latin in the streets?
1355 01:19:32,376 01:19:34,813 Well, I'll have to think about that one, Mrs. Fish. Well, I'll have to think about that one, Mrs. Fish.
1356 01:19:36,336 01:19:38,382 Will you excuse me, just for a moment? Will you excuse me, just for a moment?
1357 01:19:38,425 01:19:39,731 Just a moment. Just a moment.
1358 01:19:45,824 01:19:47,870 -Damn it! -Damn it!
1359 01:19:48,435 01:19:50,786 Melanie, you need new clothes. Melanie, you need new clothes.
1360 01:19:51,308 01:19:53,571 I buy you dress, you go out with me. I buy you dress, you go out with me.
1361 01:19:54,572 01:19:56,966 See, Max, Farouk's got the right idea. See, Max, Farouk's got the right idea.
1362 01:19:57,357 01:19:58,837 All you have to do is ask. All you have to do is ask.
1363 01:19:59,359 01:20:01,361 Give her an offer she can't refuse. Give her an offer she can't refuse.
1364 01:20:01,405 01:20:07,106 Melanie, I buy you Mercedes, you go out with me. Melanie, I buy you Mercedes, you go out with me.
1365 01:20:07,367 01:20:09,979 Hey, come off it, Farouk, you cannot buy her a Mercedes. Hey, come off it, Farouk, you cannot buy her a Mercedes.
1366 01:20:10,240 01:20:15,506 Yes, I can, Max. I have, uh, four in Abu Dhabi. Yes, I can, Max. I have, uh, four in Abu Dhabi.
1367 01:20:15,549 01:20:17,638 And many, many travelers'’ checks. And many, many travelers'’ checks.
1368 01:20:18,335 01:20:20,380 Then, what are youdoin' ridin' around with me? Then, what are youdoin' ridin' around with me?
1369 01:20:20,816 01:20:21,991 I like you, Max. I like you, Max.
1370 01:20:22,513 01:20:24,341 Besides, I have chauffeur in Abu Dhabi. Besides, I have chauffeur in Abu Dhabi.
1371 01:20:25,516 01:20:29,172 Gee, Farouk, I didn't know youwere into expensive German cars. Gee, Farouk, I didn't know youwere into expensive German cars.
1372 01:20:32,218 01:20:36,092 Okay, okay, God, but from now on, Okay, okay, God, but from now on,
1373 01:20:36,135 01:20:41,271 I set my own shifts, at 4.50 an hour, plus tips. I set my own shifts, at 4.50 an hour, plus tips.
1374 01:20:41,314 01:20:42,228 You got it. You got it.
1375 01:20:48,626 01:20:50,933 Excuse me. Wrong room. Excuse me. Wrong room.
1376 01:20:52,456 01:20:56,634 Damn that Carpenter, come on.I swore he said room 105 was.... Damn that Carpenter, come on.I swore he said room 105 was....
1377 01:21:00,377 01:21:04,033 Hey, buddy, know where I can get some ice in this roach motel? Hey, buddy, know where I can get some ice in this roach motel?
1378 01:21:04,294 01:21:05,991 Carpenter! Carpenter!
1379 01:21:06,862 01:21:08,037 Give me that bucket. Give me that bucket.
1380 01:21:09,908 01:21:11,127 Gimme the bucket! Gimme the bucket!
1381 01:21:11,431 01:21:14,173 Oh! Gimme the bucket, you break it, you pay for it! Oh! Gimme the bucket, you break it, you pay for it!
1382 01:21:14,217 01:21:17,698 Hey Carp, do somethin',this guy's got a burr up his butt. Hey Carp, do somethin',this guy's got a burr up his butt.
1383 01:21:17,742 01:21:19,657 Gimme that bucket! Gimme that bucket!
1384 01:21:20,310 01:21:21,267 Now, Carpenter... Now, Carpenter...
1385 01:21:24,053 01:21:25,445 Hey, now, what's going on in here? Hey, now, what's going on in here?
1386 01:21:33,671 01:21:35,412 Hey, man, turn out the lights. Hey, man, turn out the lights.
1387 01:21:35,455 01:21:38,415 I'm gonna personally turn out the lights on everyone of you punks I'm gonna personally turn out the lights on everyone of you punks
1388 01:21:38,458 01:21:39,938 if you don't get the hell out! if you don't get the hell out!
1389 01:21:39,982 01:21:41,853 Mister, why so tense? Mister, why so tense?
1390 01:21:41,897 01:21:42,854 Out! Out!
1391 01:21:47,946 01:21:50,601 I'd still be in the closet, if Inga hadn't suggested I'd still be in the closet, if Inga hadn't suggested
1392 01:21:50,644 01:21:52,081 to try a new therapy in the shower. to try a new therapy in the shower.
1393 01:21:52,733 01:21:55,736 When you're talk about it, it makes it seem less painful. When you're talk about it, it makes it seem less painful.
1394 01:21:56,172 01:21:57,913 See this? We're laughin' about it. See this? We're laughin' about it.
1395 01:21:57,956 01:22:00,045 I mean, in school you always look so serious. I mean, in school you always look so serious.
1396 01:22:00,611 01:22:02,308 I didn't think you noticed. I didn't think you noticed.
1397 01:22:02,613 01:22:05,268 I thought it took someonelike Liz to get your attention. I thought it took someonelike Liz to get your attention.
1398 01:22:05,311 01:22:06,443 Now, if I looked like her... Now, if I looked like her...
1399 01:22:07,313 01:22:08,924 I like the way you look better. I like the way you look better.
1400 01:22:23,547 01:22:26,245 I think we got some celebrating to do. I think we got some celebrating to do.
1401 01:22:26,289 01:22:27,812 Okay, you're gonna pay for this. Okay, you're gonna pay for this.
1402 01:22:27,855 01:22:29,335 I'm gonna call the cops! I'm gonna call the cops!
1403 01:22:30,554 01:22:35,559 Hey, Carp, man, I'm really sorry. I just wanted to get some ice. Hey, Carp, man, I'm really sorry. I just wanted to get some ice.
1404 01:22:41,391 01:22:43,045 I know a good place to park. I know a good place to park.
1405 01:22:43,088 01:22:45,221 I'll park anywhere in a Mercedes. I'll park anywhere in a Mercedes.
1406 01:22:47,701 01:22:51,140 I want to make some toast for you, Max. I want to make some toast for you, Max.
1407 01:22:51,183 01:22:53,881 My best friend in United States. My best friend in United States.
1408 01:22:53,925 01:22:57,015 -Thank you for your hostilities.-It was nothing. -Thank you for your hostilities.-It was nothing.
1409 01:22:57,624 01:23:00,932 Well, I owe Max so many nothings. Well, I owe Max so many nothings.
1410 01:23:03,108 01:23:06,285 I mean, until tonight, talking to girls was like... I mean, until tonight, talking to girls was like...
1411 01:23:06,720 01:23:09,245 relating to aliens from outer space. relating to aliens from outer space.
1412 01:23:09,767 01:23:13,336 You seem to clue in on what I'm saying before I've even said it. You seem to clue in on what I'm saying before I've even said it.
1413 01:23:21,648 01:23:23,563 Hey, Alan, come on in, man! Hey, Alan, come on in, man!
1414 01:23:32,964 01:23:36,446 Leslie, would you like to... Leslie, would you like to...
1415 01:23:59,425 01:24:01,514 - Hey, what room was that? - 104. - Hey, what room was that? - 104.
1416 01:24:01,558 01:24:02,950 Let's get up there. Let's get up there.
1417 01:24:02,994 01:24:05,214 You guys, it's the police! You guys, it's the police!
1418 01:24:05,257 01:24:08,260 Deja vu,man. Time to boogie. Deja vu,man. Time to boogie.
1419 01:24:24,189 01:24:25,495 I don't believe this. I don't believe this.
1420 01:24:25,538 01:24:30,195 Here I am all alone with a beautiful woman... Here I am all alone with a beautiful woman...
1421 01:24:31,283 01:24:33,546 and I could be happy just talkin' all night long. and I could be happy just talkin' all night long.
1422 01:24:34,547 01:24:35,853 We could just talk. We could just talk.
1423 01:24:36,506 01:24:37,376 No! No!
1424 01:24:54,611 01:24:57,744 -It's a bust! -It's a bust!
1425 01:25:14,587 01:25:16,111 They've got us, Maxwell! They've got us, Maxwell!
1426 01:25:16,720 01:25:19,462 Oh, just one last kiss before they lock us up. Oh, just one last kiss before they lock us up.
1427 01:25:25,685 01:25:26,686 Just one? Just one?
1428 01:25:28,079 01:25:29,733 Let me work on this door. Let me work on this door.
1429 01:25:31,604 01:25:33,040 To ensure privacy. To ensure privacy.
1430 01:25:33,693 01:25:34,825 What do you mean? What do you mean?
1431 01:25:44,139 01:25:45,488 You're the phantom? You're the phantom?
1432 01:25:45,749 01:25:48,578 I don't reveal myself to just anybody. I don't reveal myself to just anybody.
1433 01:25:49,144 01:25:50,275 Neither do I. Neither do I.
1434 01:26:19,261 01:26:22,481 ♪ Here's to this moment In my life ♪ ♪ Here's to this moment In my life ♪
1435 01:26:22,873 01:26:26,268 ♪ When only my heart Can say what's right ♪ ♪ When only my heart Can say what's right ♪
1436 01:26:26,311 01:26:31,621 ♪ I hear a voice from somewhere Deep inside ♪ ♪ I hear a voice from somewhere Deep inside ♪
1437 01:26:33,449 01:26:36,974 ♪ Here's to the person I'll become ♪ ♪ Here's to the person I'll become ♪
1438 01:26:37,017 01:26:40,456 ♪ After the battle's Finally won ♪ ♪ After the battle's Finally won ♪
1439 01:26:40,499 01:26:46,201 ♪ I can look back and say I gave my all ♪ ♪ I can look back and say I gave my all ♪
1440 01:26:46,462 01:26:50,770 ♪ I know My dreams are coming true ♪ ♪ I know My dreams are coming true ♪
1441 01:26:51,771 01:26:54,731 ♪ I'll be sharing them all With you ♪ ♪ I'll be sharing them all With you ♪
1442 01:26:57,212 01:26:58,822 ♪ Forever ♪ Forever
1443 01:27:00,650 01:27:01,912 ♪ Tonight ♪ Tonight
1444 01:27:02,739 01:27:05,263 ♪ We're reaching for the stars ♪ ♪ We're reaching for the stars ♪
1445 01:27:06,046 01:27:09,136 ♪ They'll be shining Wherever we are ♪ ♪ They'll be shining Wherever we are ♪
1446 01:27:11,400 01:27:13,576 ♪ Forever ♪ Forever
1447 01:27:16,274 01:27:19,321 ♪ I know the future's Looking bright ♪ ♪ I know the future's Looking bright ♪
1448 01:27:19,973 01:27:23,020 ♪ Though it won't happen Overnight ♪ ♪ Though it won't happen Overnight ♪
1449 01:27:23,281 01:27:28,373 ♪ It feels so good I'm on my way ♪ ♪ It feels so good I'm on my way ♪
1450 01:27:29,635 01:27:33,813 ♪ Here's to a life With no regrets ♪ ♪ Here's to a life With no regrets ♪
1451 01:27:34,074 01:27:37,687 ♪ I couldn't live With something less ♪ ♪ I couldn't live With something less ♪
1452 01:27:37,730 01:27:43,214 ♪ I wanna go on With my head up high ♪ ♪ I wanna go on With my head up high ♪
1453 01:27:43,475 01:27:48,045 ♪ I know My dreams are coming true ♪ ♪ I know My dreams are coming true ♪
1454 01:27:48,915 01:27:51,875 ♪ I'll be sharing them all With you ♪ ♪ I'll be sharing them all With you ♪
1455 01:27:54,181 01:27:55,705 ♪ Forever ♪ Forever
1456 01:27:57,576 01:28:02,233 ♪ Tonight We're reaching for the stars ♪ ♪ Tonight We're reaching for the stars ♪
1457 01:28:03,060 01:28:06,281 ♪ They'll be shining Wherever we are ♪ ♪ They'll be shining Wherever we are ♪
1458 01:28:08,587 01:28:10,546 ♪ Forever ♪ Forever
1459 01:28:26,301 01:28:30,696 ♪ I know My dreams are coming true ♪ ♪ I know My dreams are coming true ♪
1460 01:28:31,349 01:28:34,657 ♪ I'll be sharing them all With you ♪ ♪ I'll be sharing them all With you ♪
1461 01:28:36,963 01:28:39,009 ♪ Forever ♪ Forever
1462 01:28:40,358 01:28:45,320 ♪ Tonight We're reaching for the stars ♪ ♪ Tonight We're reaching for the stars ♪
1463 01:28:45,711 01:28:48,932
1463 01:28:45,711 01:28:48,932