# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:00,125 00:00:03,208 (film reel whirring) (film reel whirring)
2 00:00:07,106 00:00:09,643 (relaxing music) (relaxing music)
3 00:00:09,643 00:00:14,643 ♪ What is sadness, boy ♪ ♪ What is sadness, boy ♪
4 00:00:18,578 00:00:23,578 ♪ But this broken wretch ♪ ♪ But this broken wretch ♪
5 00:00:27,064 00:00:32,064 ♪ I'm suspended high above ♪ ♪ I'm suspended high above ♪
6 00:00:35,769 00:00:39,352 ♪ Don't look down, my love ♪ ♪ Don't look down, my love ♪
7 00:00:44,840 00:00:49,840 (car engine roaring) (upbeat music) (car engine roaring) (upbeat music)
8 00:00:51,003 00:00:53,920 (trolley rattling) (trolley rattling)
9 00:01:03,676 00:01:08,676 - [Immi Voiceover] (sighing) So much guilt. - [Immi Voiceover] (sighing) So much guilt.
10 00:01:13,883 00:01:17,382 Okay, relax, it's just a good looking guy Okay, relax, it's just a good looking guy
11 00:01:17,382 00:01:19,718 who's maybe checking you out. who's maybe checking you out.
12 00:01:19,718 00:01:21,528 Don't get ahead of yourself. Don't get ahead of yourself.
13 00:01:21,528 00:01:22,906 This is only the exact way This is only the exact way
14 00:01:22,906 00:01:25,739 that every romantic comedy starts. that every romantic comedy starts.
15 00:01:30,757 00:01:32,489 My soulmate. My soulmate.
16 00:01:32,489 00:01:34,281 This is it, Immi the vegan, This is it, Immi the vegan,
17 00:01:34,281 00:01:35,927 the first day of the rest of your life the first day of the rest of your life
18 00:01:35,927 00:01:37,923 with the man of your... with the man of your...
19 00:01:37,923 00:01:38,756 Ew. Ew.
20 00:01:45,109 00:01:47,359 - It's the shoes, isn't it? - It's the shoes, isn't it?
21 00:01:51,159 00:01:52,083 - Doesn't help. - Doesn't help.
22 00:01:52,083 00:01:55,247 (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
23 00:01:55,247 00:01:57,111 - [News Reader] Shocking video footage has emerged - [News Reader] Shocking video footage has emerged
24 00:01:57,111 00:02:01,010 of a man in a vegan t-shirt being accosted by a vegan woman of a man in a vegan t-shirt being accosted by a vegan woman
25 00:02:01,010 00:02:02,684 late last night. late last night.
26 00:02:02,684 00:02:06,760 Statistics show that presently 72% of vegans are women, Statistics show that presently 72% of vegans are women,
27 00:02:06,760 00:02:08,698 causing the worst vegan man drought causing the worst vegan man drought
28 00:02:08,698 00:02:11,798 in the history of New Zealand. in the history of New Zealand.
29 00:02:11,798 00:02:14,881 ♪ What to say to you ♪ ♪ What to say to you ♪
30 00:02:24,454 00:02:28,573 ♪ It's always sunny where you are from ♪ ♪ It's always sunny where you are from ♪
31 00:02:28,573 00:02:32,293 ♪ I know ♪ ♪ I know ♪
32 00:02:32,293 00:02:35,358 ♪ It's lonely, oh ♪ ♪ It's lonely, oh ♪
33 00:02:35,358 00:02:37,738 - Ah, what is wrong with guys? - Ah, what is wrong with guys?
34 00:02:37,738 00:02:42,091 ♪ I'll take you away to that summer ♪ ♪ I'll take you away to that summer ♪
35 00:02:42,091 00:02:44,711 (dramatic music) (dramatic music)
36 00:02:44,711 00:02:47,461 (Matt whistling) (Matt whistling)
37 00:02:48,573 00:02:49,740 - Jane Austin. - Jane Austin.
38 00:02:52,059 00:02:54,141 Why, I do declare. Why, I do declare.
39 00:02:54,141 00:02:57,260 What are you doing in celestial mechanics? What are you doing in celestial mechanics?
40 00:02:57,260 00:03:02,093 You don't even a Dewey number. (laughing) You don't even a Dewey number. (laughing)
41 00:03:30,430 00:03:31,847 Is someone there? Is someone there?
42 00:03:34,250 00:03:37,750 Matt, more returns, Matt, and before I go, Matt, more returns, Matt, and before I go,
43 00:03:38,797 00:03:40,258 I thought I ought to let you know I thought I ought to let you know
44 00:03:40,258 00:03:43,889 that the job at the front desk has become vacant. that the job at the front desk has become vacant.
45 00:03:43,889 00:03:46,722 - I've always dreamed of working on the front desk. - I've always dreamed of working on the front desk.
46 00:03:46,722 00:03:48,992 I could give book recommendations I could give book recommendations
47 00:03:48,992 00:03:50,115 and encourage people to read and encourage people to read
48 00:03:50,115 00:03:52,574 about the Red Army's desperate battles on the Eastern Front about the Red Army's desperate battles on the Eastern Front
49 00:03:52,574 00:03:53,568 of World War II. of World War II.
50 00:03:53,568 00:03:56,200 - The library frowns upon making book recommendations, - The library frowns upon making book recommendations,
51 00:03:56,200 00:03:59,167 especially regarding battles on the Eastern Front. especially regarding battles on the Eastern Front.
52 00:03:59,167 00:04:00,834 You know that, Matt. You know that, Matt.
53 00:04:04,912 00:04:07,505 Still, I think you should seriously consider Still, I think you should seriously consider
54 00:04:07,505 00:04:09,338 applying for the role. applying for the role.
55 00:04:12,531 00:04:13,505 - Yes. - Yes.
56 00:04:13,505 00:04:16,175 ♪ Take you away to where the sun shines ♪ ♪ Take you away to where the sun shines ♪
57 00:04:16,175 00:04:18,157 ♪ So bright, so bright ♪ ♪ So bright, so bright ♪
58 00:04:18,157 00:04:20,955 ♪ You can stare at the stars at night ♪ ♪ You can stare at the stars at night ♪
59 00:04:20,955 00:04:22,456 - "Hey, Immi the Vegan. - "Hey, Immi the Vegan.
60 00:04:22,456 00:04:23,960 "I'm a musician too. "I'm a musician too.
61 00:04:23,960 00:04:25,985 "I play the viola. "I play the viola.
62 00:04:25,985 00:04:28,389 "Like you, I prefer to watch music live. "Like you, I prefer to watch music live.
63 00:04:28,389 00:04:29,222 "Don't you think the experience "Don't you think the experience
64 00:04:29,222 00:04:31,381 "is way more genuine that way? "is way more genuine that way?
65 00:04:31,381 00:04:33,971 "I'd be interested in meeting up if you are?" "I'd be interested in meeting up if you are?"
66 00:04:33,971 00:04:36,996 Question mark, smiley face. Question mark, smiley face.
67 00:04:36,996 00:04:40,389 "BTW, I also have some meat you'd like to eat." "BTW, I also have some meat you'd like to eat."
68 00:04:40,389 00:04:41,889 Aw. Aw.
69 00:04:41,889 00:04:44,176 (door creaking) (door creaking)
70 00:04:44,176 00:04:45,810 - Hey. - Hi. - Hey. - Hi.
71 00:04:45,810 00:04:46,997 - What you doing? - What you doing?
72 00:04:46,997 00:04:48,706 - Having terrible luck with online dating. - Having terrible luck with online dating.
73 00:04:48,706 00:04:49,706 - Great, aw. - Great, aw.
74 00:04:51,317 00:04:54,551 - Do you know how many dicks I've seen since I signed up? - Do you know how many dicks I've seen since I signed up?
75 00:04:54,551 00:04:55,384 128. 128.
76 00:04:56,592 00:04:58,718 128 dicks, Matt. 128 dicks, Matt.
77 00:04:58,718 00:05:01,551 - That's a lot, but online dating? - That's a lot, but online dating?
78 00:05:03,390 00:05:04,540 Why would you do that? Why would you do that?
79 00:05:04,540 00:05:06,315 - I don't know. - I don't know.
80 00:05:06,315 00:05:07,898 To find a nice guy? To find a nice guy?
81 00:05:10,007 00:05:13,080 Sure, I'm a strong, independent, feminist, eco-friendly, Sure, I'm a strong, independent, feminist, eco-friendly,
82 00:05:13,080 00:05:15,514 ultra-creative, vegan warrior, but I'd also like-- ultra-creative, vegan warrior, but I'd also like--
83 00:05:15,514 00:05:16,404 - Dicks? - Dicks?
84 00:05:16,404 00:05:20,230 - Well, yeah, but don't have to be so crass about it. - Well, yeah, but don't have to be so crass about it.
85 00:05:20,230 00:05:24,006 - Yeah, but online dating's so 2015. - Yeah, but online dating's so 2015.
86 00:05:24,006 00:05:26,809 Isn't meeting somebody in real life and getting to know them Isn't meeting somebody in real life and getting to know them
87 00:05:26,809 00:05:28,857 as a friend first so much better? as a friend first so much better?
88 00:05:28,857 00:05:31,606 Then they can just consensually show you their dick, Then they can just consensually show you their dick,
89 00:05:31,606 00:05:36,406 not in a pic, in real life, a solicited non-pic dick not in a pic, in real life, a solicited non-pic dick
90 00:05:36,406 00:05:38,439 that you picked. that you picked.
91 00:05:38,439 00:05:39,577 - I'm thinking of giving up on it anyway. - I'm thinking of giving up on it anyway.
92 00:05:39,577 00:05:40,793 - Dick? - Dick?
93 00:05:40,793 00:05:42,872 - No, Matt, online dating. - No, Matt, online dating.
94 00:05:42,872 00:05:44,729 - Oh, yeah, of course. - Oh, yeah, of course.
95 00:05:44,729 00:05:46,503 I got you this. I got you this.
96 00:05:46,503 00:05:49,109 (paper rustling) (paper rustling)
97 00:05:49,109 00:05:51,251 They do an open mic once a week. They do an open mic once a week.
98 00:05:51,251 00:05:52,839 You should give it a go. You should give it a go.
99 00:05:52,839 00:05:54,697 - Nah. - Why not? - Nah. - Why not?
100 00:05:54,697 00:05:56,087 Your songs are really powerful. Your songs are really powerful.
101 00:05:56,087 00:05:58,228 - I don't know if I could get up front of all those people. - I don't know if I could get up front of all those people.
102 00:05:58,228 00:06:00,277 - Oh, you'd be surprised at how few people actually come - Oh, you'd be surprised at how few people actually come
103 00:06:00,277 00:06:03,256 to these things, and, hey, I'm performing tonight to these things, and, hey, I'm performing tonight
104 00:06:03,256 00:06:05,430 at Club Slam, which is end-of-year poetry event. at Club Slam, which is end-of-year poetry event.
105 00:06:05,430 00:06:06,263 You should come. You should come.
106 00:06:06,263 00:06:08,815 - [Announcer] And now our headlining act, - [Announcer] And now our headlining act,
107 00:06:08,815 00:06:13,398 whose songs are 100% plant-based and cruelty free, whose songs are 100% plant-based and cruelty free,
108 00:06:14,537 00:06:18,375 Immi the-- - So you'll be there, right? Immi the-- - So you'll be there, right?
109 00:06:18,375 00:06:20,540 - What? - Tonight. - What? - Tonight.
110 00:06:20,540 00:06:24,734 It's only the biggest slam poetry event of the year. It's only the biggest slam poetry event of the year.
111 00:06:24,734 00:06:27,651 - Yeah, sure, dick pics, dick pics. - Yeah, sure, dick pics, dick pics.
112 00:06:31,233 00:06:35,871 ♪ I don't want your meat on my plate ♪ ♪ I don't want your meat on my plate ♪
113 00:06:35,871 00:06:38,078 ♪ Or in my mouth ♪ ♪ Or in my mouth ♪
114 00:06:38,078 00:06:41,089 ♪ I just want to meet you ♪ ♪ I just want to meet you ♪
115 00:06:41,089 00:06:45,377 ♪ At the park or at my house ♪ ♪ At the park or at my house ♪
116 00:06:45,377 00:06:47,315 ♪ Just because you like Netflix ♪ ♪ Just because you like Netflix ♪
117 00:06:47,315 00:06:49,986 ♪ And I like chick flicks ♪ ♪ And I like chick flicks ♪
118 00:06:49,986 00:06:52,113 ♪ Doesn't mean I want your dick pics ♪ ♪ Doesn't mean I want your dick pics ♪
119 00:06:52,113 00:06:55,863 ♪ Online dating really sucks ♪ ♪ Online dating really sucks ♪
120 00:07:00,339 00:07:05,029 I feel like there was somewhere I'm supposed to be. I feel like there was somewhere I'm supposed to be.
121 00:07:05,029 00:07:06,467 ♪ Feeling more hopeful ♪ ♪ Feeling more hopeful ♪
122 00:07:06,467 00:07:08,003 ♪ I've had a wee sing ♪ ♪ I've had a wee sing ♪
123 00:07:08,003 00:07:09,603 ♪ I won't see their thing ♪ ♪ I won't see their thing ♪
124 00:07:09,603 00:07:11,525 ♪ When I hear the next ping ♪ ♪ When I hear the next ping ♪
125 00:07:11,525 00:07:16,525 (laptop dinging) (upbeat music) (laptop dinging) (upbeat music)
126 00:07:17,394 00:07:19,311 GreenBean, sounds sexy. GreenBean, sounds sexy.
127 00:07:22,162 00:07:23,662 GreenBean is sexy. GreenBean is sexy.
128 00:07:27,690 00:07:32,357 ♪ The world turns longer than it should ♪ ♪ The world turns longer than it should ♪
129 00:07:35,333 00:07:38,833 - Okay, please welcome to the stage, Matt. - Okay, please welcome to the stage, Matt.
130 00:07:39,782 00:07:42,740 (crowd clapping) (crowd clapping)
131 00:07:42,740 00:07:44,487 - Hello, everyone. - Hello, everyone.
132 00:07:44,487 00:07:47,404 This poem's called World War II II. This poem's called World War II II.
133 00:07:52,823 00:07:56,240 The flame was alive, but only in my mind. The flame was alive, but only in my mind.
134 00:07:58,345 00:08:01,928 My love for her burned like Dresden in '45. My love for her burned like Dresden in '45.
135 00:08:03,081 00:08:07,817 I launched a pincer movement to encircle her heart, I launched a pincer movement to encircle her heart,
136 00:08:07,817 00:08:12,817 but my hopes froze like bones on the steps of Stalingrad. but my hopes froze like bones on the steps of Stalingrad.
137 00:08:13,205 00:08:16,505 To her, I'm Switzerland, a neutral friend To her, I'm Switzerland, a neutral friend
138 00:08:16,505 00:08:20,857 till the bitter end, except without any money, till the bitter end, except without any money,
139 00:08:20,857 00:08:25,234 and woe is me, I'm not even any good at poetry. and woe is me, I'm not even any good at poetry.
140 00:08:25,234 00:08:30,234 - (clicking) Yeah, at least you got that right. - (clicking) Yeah, at least you got that right.
141 00:08:34,677 00:08:38,288 - Our love rose like Warsaw in '44. - Our love rose like Warsaw in '44.
142 00:08:38,288 00:08:42,833 - I think I might rise and leave, because this guy is awful. - I think I might rise and leave, because this guy is awful.
143 00:08:42,833 00:08:45,408 - Steady on, this is a safe place, - Steady on, this is a safe place,
144 00:08:45,408 00:08:48,510 where we encourage and support our brothers and sisters where we encourage and support our brothers and sisters
145 00:08:48,510 00:08:50,689 of the spoken word. of the spoken word.
146 00:08:50,689 00:08:52,913 - Come on, mate, he's terrible. - Come on, mate, he's terrible.
147 00:08:52,913 00:08:56,433 Does anyone want this man to finish his poem? Does anyone want this man to finish his poem?
148 00:08:56,433 00:08:57,266 A friend? A friend?
149 00:08:57,266 00:08:58,487 An acquaintance? An acquaintance?
150 00:08:58,487 00:09:01,300 A single person, who's come here to watch him today? A single person, who's come here to watch him today?
151 00:09:01,300 00:09:02,467 Just one hand. Just one hand.
152 00:09:05,492 00:09:06,742 - Sandwich guy? - Sandwich guy?
153 00:09:10,949 00:09:13,436 Where are you, Immi the Vegan? Where are you, Immi the Vegan?
154 00:09:13,436 00:09:18,436 (audience clicking) (dramatic music) (audience clicking) (dramatic music)
155 00:09:36,387 00:09:37,623 - Thanks, Matt. - Thanks, Matt.
156 00:09:37,623 00:09:40,727 Now, we do take audience feedback very seriously Now, we do take audience feedback very seriously
157 00:09:40,727 00:09:42,648 here at Club Slamwich, here at Club Slamwich,
158 00:09:42,648 00:09:45,981 so hopefully he'll never be coming back. so hopefully he'll never be coming back.
159 00:09:48,067 00:09:50,650 (solemn music) (solemn music)
160 00:09:57,250 00:10:00,701 ♪ Oh, Lord, I've seen ♪ ♪ Oh, Lord, I've seen ♪
161 00:10:00,701 00:10:04,004 ♪ What brings me here ♪ ♪ What brings me here ♪
162 00:10:04,004 00:10:08,421 ♪ It's a mother to all along the way ♪ ♪ It's a mother to all along the way ♪
163 00:10:10,933 00:10:11,850 - A tavern? - A tavern?
164 00:10:14,193 00:10:16,466 ♪ Will age with me ♪ (car door clicking) ♪ ♪ Will age with me ♪ (car door clicking) ♪
165 00:10:16,466 00:10:17,299 Thanks. Thanks.
166 00:10:18,591 00:10:19,474 - Hi. - Hi. - Hi. - Hi.
167 00:10:19,474 00:10:21,356 - Hi, you must be Immi. - Yes. - Hi, you must be Immi. - Yes.
168 00:10:21,356 00:10:23,849 - Nice to meet you. (kissing) - Nice to meet you. (kissing)
169 00:10:23,849 00:10:25,516 My name's GreenBean. My name's GreenBean.
170 00:10:27,413 00:10:31,391 - Nice to meet you, GreenBean. - It's nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, GreenBean. - It's nice to meet you.
171 00:10:31,391 00:10:32,703 - Is this where you come often? - Is this where you come often?
172 00:10:32,703 00:10:34,547 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's great. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's great.
173 00:10:34,547 00:10:39,547 ♪ And the boys were waiting, gazing ♪ ♪ And the boys were waiting, gazing ♪
174 00:10:39,650 00:10:42,227 ♪ I don't want your sausage ♪ ♪ I don't want your sausage ♪
175 00:10:42,227 00:10:43,711 ♪ It'll cause a blockage ♪ ♪ It'll cause a blockage ♪
176 00:10:43,711 00:10:45,841 ♪ Call the toxicologist ♪ ♪ Call the toxicologist ♪
177 00:10:45,841 00:10:48,208 ♪ I just want you to meet with me ♪ ♪ I just want you to meet with me ♪
178 00:10:48,208 00:10:50,018 ♪ Not for your meat, you see ♪ ♪ Not for your meat, you see ♪
179 00:10:50,018 00:10:52,639 ♪ We'll have a cup of tea ♪ ♪ We'll have a cup of tea ♪
180 00:10:52,639 00:10:54,332 ♪ Just 'cause I'm free in the PM's ♪ ♪ Just 'cause I'm free in the PM's ♪
181 00:10:54,332 00:10:56,383 ♪ And most weekends ♪ ♪ And most weekends ♪
182 00:10:56,383 00:10:58,595 ♪ Doesn't mean you can sign to my DM's ♪ ♪ Doesn't mean you can sign to my DM's ♪
183 00:10:58,595 00:11:02,345 ♪ Online dating really sucks ♪ ♪ Online dating really sucks ♪
184 00:11:11,378 00:11:13,961 (solemn music) (solemn music)
185 00:11:17,703 00:11:20,370 (phone buzzing) (phone buzzing)
186 00:11:37,185 00:11:39,714 - Not even any chips. - Not even any chips.
187 00:11:39,714 00:11:41,892 I thought you said this place had great vegan food. I thought you said this place had great vegan food.
188 00:11:41,892 00:11:45,483 Oh, yeah, they have heaps of vegetarian options. Oh, yeah, they have heaps of vegetarian options.
189 00:11:45,483 00:11:47,104 - It's not the same. - Isn't it? - It's not the same. - Isn't it?
190 00:11:47,104 00:11:49,104 - No. - Sorry, excuse me. - No. - Sorry, excuse me.
191 00:11:50,045 00:11:50,878 Hi. Hi.
192 00:11:54,129 00:11:55,737 - Hi, sorry to be a hassle. - Hi, sorry to be a hassle.
193 00:11:55,737 00:11:59,645 Can any of these meals we made vegan? Can any of these meals we made vegan?
194 00:11:59,645 00:12:02,478 - I'll go and check with the chef. - I'll go and check with the chef.
195 00:12:04,692 00:12:05,613 (cutlery banging) (cutlery banging)
196 00:12:05,613 00:12:07,179 - [Chef] Aw, fuck you. - [Chef] Aw, fuck you.
197 00:12:07,179 00:12:08,941 No, fuck you, okay? No, fuck you, okay?
198 00:12:08,941 00:12:10,860 Not another fucking vegan. Not another fucking vegan.
199 00:12:10,860 00:12:15,392 I have had it with these fucking pie-minded, idealistic, I have had it with these fucking pie-minded, idealistic,
200 00:12:15,392 00:12:18,989 hipster bullshit people destroying my art. hipster bullshit people destroying my art.
201 00:12:18,989 00:12:20,906 Absolutely fucking not. Absolutely fucking not.
202 00:12:28,429 00:12:29,795 - Not a problem. - Not a problem.
203 00:12:29,795 00:12:31,708 We can do that for you. We can do that for you.
204 00:12:31,708 00:12:33,598 - I really appreciate it. - I really appreciate it.
205 00:12:33,598 00:12:36,170 - Can I also grab the lamb curry please? - Can I also grab the lamb curry please?
206 00:12:36,170 00:12:37,451 Just hold the vegetables. Just hold the vegetables.
207 00:12:37,451 00:12:39,083 - Excellent choice. - Excellent choice.
208 00:12:39,083 00:12:42,158 The lamb curry's particularly tender this evening. The lamb curry's particularly tender this evening.
209 00:12:42,158 00:12:42,991 - Oh. - Oh.
210 00:12:43,845 00:12:46,622 - I thought you'd at least be vegetarian? - I thought you'd at least be vegetarian?
211 00:12:46,622 00:12:47,518 - Sorry? - Sorry?
212 00:12:47,518 00:12:49,755 - Your profile name, GreenBean31? - Your profile name, GreenBean31?
213 00:12:49,755 00:12:51,002 - Yeah, nah, I just chose that name - Yeah, nah, I just chose that name
214 00:12:51,002 00:12:54,552 'cause I hate vegetables, especially green beans. 'cause I hate vegetables, especially green beans.
215 00:12:54,552 00:12:57,240 - One lamb curry and one special meal. - One lamb curry and one special meal.
216 00:12:57,240 00:13:01,734 Don't worry, it'll definitely be gluten-free. Don't worry, it'll definitely be gluten-free.
217 00:13:01,734 00:13:02,567 - Vegan? - Vegan?
218 00:13:09,567 00:13:12,317 (relaxing music) (relaxing music)
219 00:13:13,257 00:13:14,142 (plate banging) (plate banging)
220 00:13:14,142 00:13:16,725 Of course, a salad. - Thank you. Of course, a salad. - Thank you.
221 00:13:22,518 00:13:25,268 (dramatic music) (dramatic music)
222 00:13:31,664 00:13:34,497 (whimsical music) (whimsical music)
223 00:13:40,211 00:13:41,832 Looks healthy. Looks healthy.
224 00:13:41,832 00:13:42,665 - [Immi Voiceover] Yeah, it's healthy - [Immi Voiceover] Yeah, it's healthy
225 00:13:42,665 00:13:44,998 'cause it's a fucking salad. 'cause it's a fucking salad.
226 00:13:50,125 00:13:52,110 - How would you like your steaks, sir? - How would you like your steaks, sir?
227 00:13:52,110 00:13:54,263 Rare, bloody as hell, still moving? Rare, bloody as hell, still moving?
228 00:13:54,263 00:13:55,680 - Ssh. - But, sir, - Ssh. - But, sir,
229 00:13:56,688 00:14:00,840 you ordered the rib eye? - Give me the number 46. you ordered the rib eye? - Give me the number 46.
230 00:14:00,840 00:14:04,211 (relaxing music) (relaxing music)
231 00:14:04,211 00:14:06,878 (menu rustling) (menu rustling)
232 00:14:22,468 00:14:24,371 - Are you sure you don't want some? - Are you sure you don't want some?
233 00:14:24,371 00:14:29,371 I'm pretty sure there's no meat in a sundae. (laughing) I'm pretty sure there's no meat in a sundae. (laughing)
234 00:14:29,794 00:14:34,544 - Number 46, sir, whole fried chicken stuffed with bacon. - Number 46, sir, whole fried chicken stuffed with bacon.
235 00:14:36,878 00:14:39,628 (plate smashing) (plate smashing)
236 00:14:41,645 00:14:44,145 Sir, you dropped your chicken. Sir, you dropped your chicken.
237 00:14:48,045 00:14:51,295 - Hey, is that a Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo poster? - Hey, is that a Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo poster?
238 00:14:56,998 00:14:58,826 They've got a gig coming up. They've got a gig coming up.
239 00:14:58,826 00:15:00,308 - [GreenBean] So you like your Yo Yo Yo Yo? - [GreenBean] So you like your Yo Yo Yo Yo?
240 00:15:00,308 00:15:01,459 - I do. - Nice. - I do. - Nice.
241 00:15:01,459 00:15:04,376 - Yeah. - They're good, I like that. - Yeah. - They're good, I like that.
242 00:15:08,004 00:15:08,837 Excuse me. Excuse me.
243 00:15:16,222 00:15:17,692 ♪ Man peeing ♪ ♪ Man peeing ♪
244 00:15:17,692 00:15:20,114 ♪ Men peeing ♪ ♪ It's out of frame ♪ ♪ Men peeing ♪ ♪ It's out of frame ♪
245 00:15:20,114 00:15:22,355 ♪ But you know what you aren't seeing ♪ ♪ But you know what you aren't seeing ♪
246 00:15:22,355 00:15:24,159 ♪ Man being ♪ ♪ Man being ♪
247 00:15:24,159 00:15:27,076 ♪ And having dicks ♪ ♪ And having dicks ♪
248 00:15:30,146 00:15:32,874 - Here on a date? - Yeah, I am. - Here on a date? - Yeah, I am.
249 00:15:32,874 00:15:34,261 You? - No, no, You? - No, no,
250 00:15:34,261 00:15:37,243 I prefer dining alone, eating whatever I want I prefer dining alone, eating whatever I want
251 00:15:37,243 00:15:38,227 whenever I want. whenever I want.
252 00:15:38,227 00:15:40,723 Some people are such fussy eaters. Some people are such fussy eaters.
253 00:15:40,723 00:15:41,556 - It's funny. - It's funny.
254 00:15:41,556 00:15:44,045 My date's actually a vegan. My date's actually a vegan.
255 00:15:44,045 00:15:47,703 - They are the worst. - I know, right? - They are the worst. - I know, right?
256 00:15:47,703 00:15:49,647 - So many rules. - Yeah, no meats. - So many rules. - Yeah, no meats.
257 00:15:49,647 00:15:53,897 - No meat, fish, eggs, dairy, leather, wool, honey. - No meat, fish, eggs, dairy, leather, wool, honey.
258 00:15:55,010 00:15:58,236 - Yeah, it's crazy. - I mean, sure, - Yeah, it's crazy. - I mean, sure,
259 00:15:58,236 00:16:00,571 the environmental evidence alone suggests the environmental evidence alone suggests
260 00:16:00,571 00:16:02,653 we should be significantly reducing, we should be significantly reducing,
261 00:16:02,653 00:16:06,028 if not completely cutting out our meat, if not completely cutting out our meat,
262 00:16:06,028 00:16:08,383 but who cares about the environment? but who cares about the environment?
263 00:16:08,383 00:16:10,269 Fuck the planet. - Fuck the planet, yeah. Fuck the planet. - Fuck the planet, yeah.
264 00:16:10,269 00:16:12,331 - Fuck it, and you know what they say? - Fuck it, and you know what they say?
265 00:16:12,331 00:16:15,748 Once you go vegan, you never go un-vegan. Once you go vegan, you never go un-vegan.
266 00:16:17,289 00:16:18,872 It's like a tattoo. It's like a tattoo.
267 00:16:19,755 00:16:23,755 I'd run if I was you. - Seriously considering it. I'd run if I was you. - Seriously considering it.
268 00:16:25,993 00:16:28,873 But on the other hand, she's hot, and I have some meat But on the other hand, she's hot, and I have some meat
269 00:16:28,873 00:16:30,815 she might like to eat, yeah. she might like to eat, yeah.
270 00:16:30,815 00:16:35,101 All right, good chat. (laughing) All right, good chat. (laughing)
271 00:16:35,101 00:16:39,184 - Yes, it did look like quite a substantial meal. - Yes, it did look like quite a substantial meal.
272 00:16:47,184 00:16:50,160 - I had a really good time tonight. - I had a really good time tonight.
273 00:16:50,160 00:16:51,134 - Thanks. - Thanks.
274 00:16:51,134 00:16:53,884 (relaxing music) (relaxing music)
275 00:17:02,941 00:17:04,441 - Shall we? - What? - Shall we? - What?
276 00:17:10,637 00:17:11,637 Meat breath. Meat breath.
277 00:17:26,253 00:17:28,836 (solemn music) (solemn music)
278 00:17:34,624 00:17:37,291 (door knocking) (door knocking)
279 00:17:41,315 00:17:43,683 - Hey, I was just out for a walk - Hey, I was just out for a walk
280 00:17:43,683 00:17:45,994 and I saw your light was on. and I saw your light was on.
281 00:17:45,994 00:17:49,363 I thought I'd swing by. - It's midnight, Matt. I thought I'd swing by. - It's midnight, Matt.
282 00:17:49,363 00:17:50,383 - Yeah, can I come in? - Yeah, can I come in?
283 00:17:50,383 00:17:52,768 'Cause it's quite cold. 'Cause it's quite cold.
284 00:17:52,768 00:17:54,367 - You were right about online dating. - You were right about online dating.
285 00:17:54,367 00:17:56,608 I just had the worst date ever. I just had the worst date ever.
286 00:17:56,608 00:17:57,441 - Oh, no. - Oh, no.
287 00:17:58,784 00:18:00,798 - I just don't know if I can date-- - I just don't know if I can date--
288 00:18:00,798 00:18:02,240 - A meat-eater. - A meat-eater.
289 00:18:02,240 00:18:05,952 - Yeah, plus he couldn't even get my name right. - Yeah, plus he couldn't even get my name right.
290 00:18:05,952 00:18:09,472 He called me Immi, and obviously it's... He called me Immi, and obviously it's...
291 00:18:09,472 00:18:13,359 - [Both] Immi the Vegan, the whole thing. - [Both] Immi the Vegan, the whole thing.
292 00:18:13,359 00:18:16,526 - Thank you, I'm glad you came around. - Thank you, I'm glad you came around.
293 00:18:23,024 00:18:27,534 - Would've been nice to have seen you at my poetry event. - Would've been nice to have seen you at my poetry event.
294 00:18:27,534 00:18:28,867 - You know what? - You know what?
295 00:18:29,902 00:18:33,264 I should have a vegan potluck to attract vegan men, I should have a vegan potluck to attract vegan men,
296 00:18:33,264 00:18:34,347 a honey trap. a honey trap.
297 00:18:35,615 00:18:36,448 No. No.
298 00:18:38,078 00:18:39,728 An agave syrup trap. An agave syrup trap.
299 00:18:39,728 00:18:42,645 (depressing music) (depressing music)
300 00:18:46,384 00:18:48,152 ♪ Eating out ♪ ♪ Eating out ♪
301 00:18:48,152 00:18:49,672 ♪ Eating out ♪ ♪ Eating out ♪
302 00:18:49,672 00:18:52,727 ♪ Eating out as a vegan ♪ ♪ Eating out as a vegan ♪
303 00:18:52,727 00:18:56,058 ♪ Clam chowder, frankfurters, pork, beef bangers ♪ ♪ Clam chowder, frankfurters, pork, beef bangers ♪
304 00:18:56,058 00:18:56,891 ♪ No thanks ♪ ♪ No thanks ♪
305 00:18:56,891 00:18:59,212 ♪ Uh-uh, no thanks ♪ ♪ Uh-uh, no thanks ♪
306 00:18:59,212 00:19:00,748 ♪ But my appetite is big ♪ ♪ But my appetite is big ♪
307 00:19:00,748 00:19:02,203 ♪ I'll eat all night if I think ♪ ♪ I'll eat all night if I think ♪
308 00:19:02,203 00:19:07,101 ♪ That it's right ♪ ♪ That it's right ♪
309 00:19:07,101 00:19:11,156 ♪ Come on, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me ♪ ♪ Come on, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me ♪
310 00:19:11,156 00:19:14,982 ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me ♪ ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me ♪
311 00:19:14,982 00:19:18,649 ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, ♪ ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, ♪
312 00:19:18,649 00:19:21,482 (emotional music) (emotional music)
313 00:19:40,742 00:19:43,283 - Have you ever tried making your own tofu? - Have you ever tried making your own tofu?
314 00:19:43,283 00:19:47,300 - No, I haven't tried making my own tofu. - No, I haven't tried making my own tofu.
315 00:19:47,300 00:19:48,930 Vegans. Vegans.
316 00:19:48,930 00:19:51,057 (door knocking) (door knocking)
317 00:19:51,057 00:19:52,890 - A man. - A vegan man. - A man. - A vegan man.
318 00:19:57,971 00:19:59,363 - Hi. - This is turning - Hi. - This is turning
319 00:19:59,363 00:20:00,788 into a real clam fest. into a real clam fest.
320 00:20:00,788 00:20:04,291 What's the vegan equivalent of a clam fest? What's the vegan equivalent of a clam fest?
321 00:20:04,291 00:20:07,380 (plate banging) (plate banging)
322 00:20:07,380 00:20:08,492 Are you sure it's vegan? Are you sure it's vegan?
323 00:20:08,492 00:20:11,101 It looks a little realistic. It looks a little realistic.
324 00:20:11,101 00:20:12,877 - I brought a list of the ingredients. - I brought a list of the ingredients.
325 00:20:12,877 00:20:16,701 - Oh, hang on, I brought my vegan scanner. - Oh, hang on, I brought my vegan scanner.
326 00:20:16,701 00:20:19,534 (machine beeping) (machine beeping)
327 00:20:24,061 00:20:25,478 - [Machine] Safe. - [Machine] Safe.
328 00:20:26,655 00:20:29,298 - 'Cause I already had a bite. - 'Cause I already had a bite.
329 00:20:29,298 00:20:32,626 - Hey, hey. - Oh my God, it's a vegan man. - Hey, hey. - Oh my God, it's a vegan man.
330 00:20:32,626 00:20:34,459 - [Machine] He's cool. - [Machine] He's cool.
331 00:20:35,665 00:20:36,816 - Did you make that? - Did you make that?
332 00:20:36,816 00:20:39,041 - Yeah, I've started baking. - Yeah, I've started baking.
333 00:20:39,041 00:20:40,079 It's my first attempt. It's my first attempt.
334 00:20:40,079 00:20:42,496 Dig in, ladies, don't be shy. Dig in, ladies, don't be shy.
335 00:20:48,089 00:20:50,922 (machine beeping) (machine beeping)
336 00:20:58,140 00:21:01,807 - [Machine] Warning, only 99.98% vegan. - [Machine] Warning, only 99.98% vegan.
337 00:21:03,849 00:21:05,172 - Did that scanner just talk? - Did that scanner just talk?
338 00:21:05,172 00:21:06,265 - Yes. - You brought something - Yes. - You brought something
339 00:21:06,265 00:21:09,509 that's not vegan. - Yes it is, I made it myself. that's not vegan. - Yes it is, I made it myself.
340 00:21:09,509 00:21:10,662 - What's in it, scanner? - What's in it, scanner?
341 00:21:10,662 00:21:11,712 - [Machine] Cochineal. - [Machine] Cochineal.
342 00:21:11,712 00:21:14,379 (woman gasping) (woman gasping)
343 00:21:15,810 00:21:16,643 - Cochi-what? - Cochi-what?
344 00:21:16,643 00:21:19,005 - The red coloring made from beetles. - The red coloring made from beetles.
345 00:21:19,005 00:21:21,566 What vegan doesn't know that? What vegan doesn't know that?
346 00:21:21,566 00:21:23,047 - Actually, Matt's not vegan. - Actually, Matt's not vegan.
347 00:21:23,047 00:21:25,728 (woman gasping) (woman gasping)
348 00:21:25,728 00:21:27,145 - [Machine] Gasp. - [Machine] Gasp.
349 00:21:28,591 00:21:30,508 - Well, I'm ve-curious. - Well, I'm ve-curious.
350 00:21:33,346 00:21:35,929 It's just beetles. - Oh my God. It's just beetles. - Oh my God.
351 00:21:37,570 00:21:39,234 - [Machine] You are pure evil. - [Machine] You are pure evil.
352 00:21:39,234 00:21:41,996 You have spilled the blood of the innocent beetle. You have spilled the blood of the innocent beetle.
353 00:21:41,996 00:21:43,079 You must pay. You must pay.
354 00:21:43,999 00:21:47,263 Vegans and non-vegans cannot co-exist. Vegans and non-vegans cannot co-exist.
355 00:21:47,263 00:21:49,093 The great war is coming. The great war is coming.
356 00:21:49,093 00:21:50,607 - That's it. - If you strike me down, - That's it. - If you strike me down,
357 00:21:50,607 00:21:54,866 I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
358 00:21:54,866 00:21:58,303 ♪ What did a beetle ever do to you ♪ ♪ What did a beetle ever do to you ♪
359 00:21:58,303 00:22:01,482 ♪ Why do you hate it so much ♪ ♪ Why do you hate it so much ♪
360 00:22:01,482 00:22:02,415 - [Vegan Woman] Oh, yeah, - [Vegan Woman] Oh, yeah,
361 00:22:02,415 00:22:03,909 I've washed my hands about 10 times. I've washed my hands about 10 times.
362 00:22:03,909 00:22:06,293 - [Vegan Woman] I know, can still smell it, beetles. - [Vegan Woman] I know, can still smell it, beetles.
363 00:22:06,293 00:22:09,477 - Oh, good God, those poor beetles. - Oh, good God, those poor beetles.
364 00:22:09,477 00:22:10,980 - I know. - I know.
365 00:22:10,980 00:22:14,563 - I think this would be a great opportunity - I think this would be a great opportunity
366 00:22:15,672 00:22:17,801 for you to practice singing in front of people. for you to practice singing in front of people.
367 00:22:17,801 00:22:19,776 - I'm not at all prepared. - Yes, you are. - I'm not at all prepared. - Yes, you are.
368 00:22:19,776 00:22:21,761 I've heard you sing. I've heard you sing.
369 00:22:21,761 00:22:23,506 - Nah. - If you can't do this - Nah. - If you can't do this
370 00:22:23,506 00:22:25,316 in front of a few close friends, in front of a few close friends,
371 00:22:25,316 00:22:27,505 how are you ever going to become the self-made singer, how are you ever going to become the self-made singer,
372 00:22:27,505 00:22:29,064 songwriter, social media superstar songwriter, social media superstar
373 00:22:29,064 00:22:32,661 that we both know you're destined to be. that we both know you're destined to be.
374 00:22:32,661 00:22:36,898 - Okay, I'll play a couple of songs in the background - Okay, I'll play a couple of songs in the background
375 00:22:36,898 00:22:38,049 but don't make a big deal out of this. but don't make a big deal out of this.
376 00:22:38,049 00:22:39,699 - Quiet, everyone. - Matt. - Quiet, everyone. - Matt.
377 00:22:39,699 00:22:40,942 - It's okay, it's okay. - It's okay, it's okay.
378 00:22:40,942 00:22:43,221 Will you shut the fuck up please? Will you shut the fuck up please?
379 00:22:43,221 00:22:47,304 Immi the Vegan's about to play some of her songs. Immi the Vegan's about to play some of her songs.
380 00:22:54,452 00:22:55,285 - Ah. - Ah.
381 00:22:57,603 00:23:00,353 (relaxing music) (relaxing music)
382 00:23:22,631 00:23:24,740 - Oh, hey, everyone, is this the vegan potluck? - Oh, hey, everyone, is this the vegan potluck?
383 00:23:24,740 00:23:26,386 - Hi, yes it is. - Hi, yes it is.
384 00:23:26,386 00:23:27,969 I'm Immi the Vegan. I'm Immi the Vegan.
385 00:23:27,969 00:23:30,636 - Hi, Sean, Sean the Also Vegan. - Hi, Sean, Sean the Also Vegan.
386 00:23:31,553 00:23:33,742 - You are? - You are? - You are? - You are?
387 00:23:33,742 00:23:35,214 - Yeah, I am. - Yeah, I am.
388 00:23:35,214 00:23:36,354 - Well, that's great, - Well, that's great,
389 00:23:36,354 00:23:39,009 but Immi the Vegan was just about to play a song actually, but Immi the Vegan was just about to play a song actually,
390 00:23:39,009 00:23:42,401 so maybe you could take a seat. so maybe you could take a seat.
391 00:23:42,401 00:23:43,982 - I am so, so sorry. - I am so, so sorry.
392 00:23:43,982 00:23:45,489 I didn't mean to interrupt anything. I didn't mean to interrupt anything.
393 00:23:45,489 00:23:46,580 - No, it's fine. - No, it's fine.
394 00:23:46,580 00:23:48,018 I was feeling nervous anyway. I was feeling nervous anyway.
395 00:23:48,018 00:23:49,455 - Maybe I could play with ya? - Maybe I could play with ya?
396 00:23:49,455 00:23:52,351 - I don't think that's a great idea. - I don't think that's a great idea.
397 00:23:52,351 00:23:54,098 - I don't know many songs. - I don't know many songs.
398 00:23:54,098 00:23:55,251 - Just play one of your own. - Just play one of your own.
399 00:23:55,251 00:23:57,084 I'll follow your lead. I'll follow your lead.
400 00:23:58,293 00:23:59,126 - Okay. - Okay.
401 00:24:01,285 00:24:04,118 (energetic music) (energetic music)
402 00:24:09,071 00:24:13,062 ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪ ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪
403 00:24:13,062 00:24:16,885 ♪ All I want is a vegan man ♪ ♪ All I want is a vegan man ♪
404 00:24:16,885 00:24:21,109 ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪ ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪
405 00:24:21,109 00:24:25,426 ♪ All I want is a vegan man ♪ ♪ All I want is a vegan man ♪
406 00:24:25,426 00:24:27,462 ♪ He knows I'm not that into meat ♪ ♪ He knows I'm not that into meat ♪
407 00:24:27,462 00:24:29,379 ♪ His cucumber looks just as sweet ♪ ♪ His cucumber looks just as sweet ♪
408 00:24:29,379 00:24:33,157 ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪ ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪
409 00:24:33,157 00:24:35,493 ♪ When he's cooking, he turns up the heat ♪ ♪ When he's cooking, he turns up the heat ♪
410 00:24:35,493 00:24:37,319 ♪ He knows the ingredients that I can eat ♪ ♪ He knows the ingredients that I can eat ♪
411 00:24:37,319 00:24:41,545 ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪ ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪
412 00:24:41,545 00:24:46,545 ♪ Maybe I'll meet him at the falafel shop ♪ ♪ Maybe I'll meet him at the falafel shop ♪
413 00:24:47,116 00:24:49,264 ♪ No kebabs ♪ ♪ No kebabs ♪
414 00:24:49,264 00:24:52,866 ♪ Maybe I'll meet him buying tofu ♪ ♪ Maybe I'll meet him buying tofu ♪
415 00:24:52,866 00:24:53,699 - That clicking. - That clicking.
416 00:24:53,699 00:24:55,151 ♪ A stranger to me ♪ ♪ A stranger to me ♪
417 00:24:55,151 00:25:00,126 ♪ Not a friend I'd usually go to ♪ ♪ Not a friend I'd usually go to ♪
418 00:25:00,126 00:25:01,807 ♪ Only a man who's anti-meat ♪ ♪ Only a man who's anti-meat ♪
419 00:25:01,807 00:25:04,281 ♪ Will sample these delicious treats ♪ ♪ Will sample these delicious treats ♪
420 00:25:04,281 00:25:05,549 - No exceptions. - No exceptions.
421 00:25:05,549 00:25:10,549 ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪ ♪ A vegan man, a vegan man ♪
422 00:25:10,673 00:25:13,115 ♪ (indistinct) ♪ ♪ (indistinct) ♪
423 00:25:13,115 00:25:18,115 ♪ Different to the one mentioned in that song ♪ ♪ Different to the one mentioned in that song ♪
424 00:25:18,326 00:25:20,027 - Sorry, I thought we were doing a... - Sorry, I thought we were doing a...
425 00:25:20,027 00:25:21,110 Never mind. Never mind.
426 00:25:21,110 00:25:23,046 - You're amazing. - You are. - You're amazing. - You are.
427 00:25:23,046 00:25:24,440 - No, you are. - No, you are.
428 00:25:24,440 00:25:26,167 - Well, I've always said that you were. - Well, I've always said that you were.
429 00:25:26,167 00:25:28,291 - You might've heard of my band actually. - You might've heard of my band actually.
430 00:25:28,291 00:25:31,791 I'm the lead guitarist for Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo. I'm the lead guitarist for Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo.
431 00:25:33,768 00:25:35,268 - That is so cool. - That is so cool.
432 00:25:37,741 00:25:39,239 - All right, listen up, everybody. - All right, listen up, everybody.
433 00:25:39,239 00:25:41,428 I've got an announcement to make. I've got an announcement to make.
434 00:25:41,428 00:25:46,407 I've thought long and hard and I've come to a decision. I've thought long and hard and I've come to a decision.
435 00:25:46,407 00:25:48,084 I'm going full vegan. I'm going full vegan.
436 00:25:48,084 00:25:50,834 (women cheering) (women cheering)
437 00:25:52,152 00:25:53,069 - Oh, Matt. - Oh, Matt.
438 00:25:54,381 00:25:56,964 (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
439 00:26:01,132 00:26:03,965 (energetic music) (energetic music)
440 00:26:06,215 00:26:08,649 ♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪ ♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪
441 00:26:08,649 00:26:10,731 ♪ Ee i ee i o ♪ ♪ Ee i ee i o ♪
442 00:26:10,731 00:26:15,731 ♪ And on that farm, he had a cabbage ♪ ♪ And on that farm, he had a cabbage ♪
443 00:26:17,256 00:26:19,399 ♪ Ee i ee i o ♪ ♪ Ee i ee i o ♪
444 00:26:19,399 00:26:20,715 ♪ With a munch, munch here ♪ ♪ With a munch, munch here ♪
445 00:26:20,715 00:26:22,025 ♪ And a crunch, crunch there ♪ ♪ And a crunch, crunch there ♪
446 00:26:22,025 00:26:24,640 ♪ Coleslaw, sauerkraut, chop suey, (indistinct) ♪ ♪ Coleslaw, sauerkraut, chop suey, (indistinct) ♪
447 00:26:24,640 00:26:26,956 ♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪ ♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪
448 00:26:26,956 00:26:29,456 ♪ Ee i ee i o ♪ ♪ Ee i ee i o ♪
449 00:26:31,220 00:26:33,163 What, it's a song. What, it's a song.
450 00:26:33,163 00:26:36,124 (relaxing music) (relaxing music)
451 00:26:36,124 00:26:41,124 ♪ What is sadness, boy ♪ ♪ What is sadness, boy ♪
452 00:26:45,220 00:26:50,220 ♪ But this broken wretch ♪ ♪ But this broken wretch ♪
453 00:26:53,573 00:26:58,573 ♪ I'm suspended high above ♪ ♪ I'm suspended high above ♪
454 00:27:02,324 00:27:05,907 ♪ Don't look down, my love ♪ ♪ Don't look down, my love ♪
455 00:27:16,607 00:27:17,984 ♪ We've gone back in time ♪ ♪ We've gone back in time ♪
456 00:27:17,984 00:27:19,359 ♪ Don't be confused ♪ ♪ Don't be confused ♪
457 00:27:19,359 00:27:20,612 ♪ We did it on purpose ♪ ♪ We did it on purpose ♪
458 00:27:20,612 00:27:22,564 ♪ We can choose what we show you ♪ ♪ We can choose what we show you ♪
459 00:27:22,564 00:27:25,509 ♪ In episode one, we showed where Matt works ♪ ♪ In episode one, we showed where Matt works ♪
460 00:27:25,509 00:27:28,266 ♪ This is the day after that ♪ ♪ This is the day after that ♪
461 00:27:28,266 00:27:30,099 - Matt. - Hi, Prudence. - Matt. - Hi, Prudence.
462 00:27:32,106 00:27:33,268 Here's my CV. Here's my CV.
463 00:27:33,268 00:27:37,058 You can call my referee if you'd like but it'll just be you. You can call my referee if you'd like but it'll just be you.
464 00:27:37,058 00:27:38,916 - Thank you, Matt. - Thank you, Matt.
465 00:27:38,916 00:27:41,460 The CV was merely a formality but we're all looking forward The CV was merely a formality but we're all looking forward
466 00:27:41,460 00:27:42,886 to having you move upstairs. to having you move upstairs.
467 00:27:42,886 00:27:45,113 - Can I practice now? - Absolutely not. - Can I practice now? - Absolutely not.
468 00:27:45,113 00:27:46,280 - Okay. - Sean. - Okay. - Sean.
469 00:27:47,792 00:27:49,371 Matt, this is Sean. Matt, this is Sean.
470 00:27:49,371 00:27:51,996 He is going to be replacing you in the basement. He is going to be replacing you in the basement.
471 00:27:51,996 00:27:53,393 - Lovely to meet you, Matthew. - Lovely to meet you, Matthew.
472 00:27:53,393 00:27:55,054 - Don't I know you from somewhere? - Don't I know you from somewhere?
473 00:27:55,054 00:27:56,861 - No, I don't think so. - No, I don't think so.
474 00:27:56,861 00:27:58,155 - Matt will show you what to do. - Matt will show you what to do.
475 00:27:58,155 00:28:00,905 He is a very experienced shelver. He is a very experienced shelver.
476 00:28:05,950 00:28:06,783 Matt? Matt?
477 00:28:07,902 00:28:10,594 Don't you have some work to be getting on with? Don't you have some work to be getting on with?
478 00:28:10,594 00:28:14,427 - Oh, yes, sorry, Prudence, yes, sorry, sorry. - Oh, yes, sorry, Prudence, yes, sorry, sorry.
479 00:28:17,121 00:28:21,905 - (laughing) Look, I know the front desk position's - (laughing) Look, I know the front desk position's
480 00:28:21,905 00:28:24,460 been filled already, but just in case, been filled already, but just in case,
481 00:28:24,460 00:28:25,723 here's a copy of my CV here's a copy of my CV
482 00:28:25,723 00:28:30,390 and I've left a little something on top for you as well. and I've left a little something on top for you as well.
483 00:28:31,392 00:28:32,225 - Thank you. - Thank you.
484 00:28:32,225 00:28:34,975 (dramatic music) (dramatic music)
485 00:28:58,682 00:29:01,682 (creature clicking) (creature clicking)
486 00:29:05,189 00:29:08,389 (door creaking) (door creaking)
487 00:29:08,389 00:29:09,622 - Hey. - Hey.
488 00:29:09,622 00:29:12,018 ♪ Speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy ♪ ♪ Speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy ♪
489 00:29:12,018 00:29:13,755 ♪ Speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy ♪ ♪ Speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy ♪
490 00:29:13,755 00:29:14,588 ♪ Speedy ♪ ♪ Speedy ♪
491 00:29:14,588 00:29:16,597 - I should have a vegan potluck to attract vegan men. - I should have a vegan potluck to attract vegan men.
492 00:29:16,597 00:29:19,180 (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
493 00:29:39,812 00:29:42,295 - Excellent choice, sir, - Excellent choice, sir,
494 00:29:42,295 00:29:45,699 but have you considered "Blood Red Snow"? but have you considered "Blood Red Snow"?
495 00:29:45,699 00:29:48,250 A harrowing firsthand account of a sniper A harrowing firsthand account of a sniper
496 00:29:48,250 00:29:50,084 on the Eastern Front of World War II. on the Eastern Front of World War II.
497 00:29:50,084 00:29:50,917 - Matt. - Matt.
498 00:29:54,726 00:29:56,684 - Sorry, Prudence. - Sorry, Prudence.
499 00:29:56,684 00:29:59,351 I came up here to give you this. I came up here to give you this.
500 00:30:02,782 00:30:05,598 - That was very unnecessary, Matt. - That was very unnecessary, Matt.
501 00:30:05,598 00:30:09,024 - Well, I just know how much you love muffins. - Well, I just know how much you love muffins.
502 00:30:09,024 00:30:10,846 - Cupcakes, Matt. - Cupcakes, Matt.
503 00:30:10,846 00:30:12,179 I like cupcakes. I like cupcakes.
504 00:30:13,614 00:30:15,596 - I thought it was the same. - I thought it was the same.
505 00:30:15,596 00:30:20,142 - Sean, how is everything going in the basement? - Sean, how is everything going in the basement?
506 00:30:20,142 00:30:21,645 - Great, thank you, - Great, thank you,
507 00:30:21,645 00:30:25,456 but can you believe that Matt here accidentally ordered but can you believe that Matt here accidentally ordered
508 00:30:25,456 00:30:27,743 an entire shelf from ascending to descending, an entire shelf from ascending to descending,
509 00:30:27,743 00:30:29,343 instead of descending to ascending? instead of descending to ascending?
510 00:30:29,343 00:30:32,211 it's made a mockery of the entire Dewey Decimal System. it's made a mockery of the entire Dewey Decimal System.
511 00:30:32,211 00:30:35,211 (both men laughing) (both men laughing)
512 00:30:38,556 00:30:41,546 - That was a test for the training. - That was a test for the training.
513 00:30:41,546 00:30:43,071 Well done, Sean. Well done, Sean.
514 00:30:43,071 00:30:44,977 - Well, anyway, I'd better get back to it. - Well, anyway, I'd better get back to it.
515 00:30:44,977 00:30:48,694 Lots of things to fix down there, and I almost forgot, Lots of things to fix down there, and I almost forgot,
516 00:30:48,694 00:30:50,527 but these are for you. but these are for you.
517 00:30:54,134 00:30:55,051 - Cupcakes. - Cupcakes.
518 00:30:56,566 00:30:58,626 They're my favorite. They're my favorite.
519 00:30:58,626 00:31:01,709 - Fantastic, anyway, I've gotta dash. - Fantastic, anyway, I've gotta dash.
520 00:31:04,515 00:31:07,765 - I really thought this would come off. - I really thought this would come off.
521 00:31:10,066 00:31:12,242 Hey, hey. - It's a vegan man. Hey, hey. - It's a vegan man.
522 00:31:12,242 00:31:13,731 - Actually, Matt's not vegan. - Actually, Matt's not vegan.
523 00:31:13,731 00:31:14,735 (woman gasping) (woman gasping)
524 00:31:14,735 00:31:15,568 - [Machine] Gasp. - [Machine] Gasp.
525 00:31:15,568 00:31:17,493 ♪ Speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy ♪ ♪ Speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy, speedy ♪
526 00:31:17,493 00:31:18,690 ♪ Speedy, speedy ♪ ♪ Speedy, speedy ♪
527 00:31:18,690 00:31:21,124 - All right, listen up, everybody. - All right, listen up, everybody.
528 00:31:21,124 00:31:22,818 I'm going full vegan. I'm going full vegan.
529 00:31:22,818 00:31:27,592 (woman cheering) ♪ It's a good day to get out of bed ♪ (woman cheering) ♪ It's a good day to get out of bed ♪
530 00:31:27,592 00:31:29,440 ♪ It's a good day to put on your socks ♪ ♪ It's a good day to put on your socks ♪
531 00:31:29,440 00:31:33,262 ♪ And get on your shoes ♪ ♪ And get on your shoes ♪
532 00:31:33,262 00:31:35,809 ♪ It's a good time to be alive ♪ ♪ The sun is shining ♪ ♪ It's a good time to be alive ♪ ♪ The sun is shining ♪
533 00:31:35,809 00:31:40,043 ♪ It's heating up the world and it's warming up you too ♪ ♪ It's heating up the world and it's warming up you too ♪
534 00:31:40,043 00:31:42,775 ♪ You have everything you need right here ♪ ♪ You have everything you need right here ♪
535 00:31:42,775 00:31:43,628 ♪ Right now ♪ ♪ Right now ♪
536 00:31:43,628 00:31:47,257 ♪ You have everything you need right there in your fridge ♪ ♪ You have everything you need right there in your fridge ♪
537 00:31:47,257 00:31:51,067 ♪ You have apples and carrots, capsicum and coconuts ♪ ♪ You have apples and carrots, capsicum and coconuts ♪
538 00:31:51,067 00:31:54,464 ♪ You have blueberries and broad beans, tofu and broccoli ♪ ♪ You have blueberries and broad beans, tofu and broccoli ♪
539 00:31:54,464 00:31:55,827 Are you veganing at me? Are you veganing at me?
540 00:31:55,827 00:31:58,294 Are you veganing at me? Are you veganing at me?
541 00:31:58,294 00:31:59,592 ♪ You have those packets of rice ♪ ♪ You have those packets of rice ♪
542 00:31:59,592 00:32:01,419 ♪ You just heat up in the microwave ♪ ♪ You just heat up in the microwave ♪
543 00:32:01,419 00:32:05,140 Well, who the hell else are you veganing at? Well, who the hell else are you veganing at?
544 00:32:05,140 00:32:08,807 (Matt imitates gun banging) (Matt imitates gun banging)
545 00:32:10,405 00:32:12,822 - Hot dogs, get your hot dog. - Hot dogs, get your hot dog.
546 00:32:14,727 00:32:16,583 Hot dogs here. Hot dogs here.
547 00:32:16,583 00:32:18,439 What about you, sir? What about you, sir?
548 00:32:18,439 00:32:22,468 You look like you could do with a nice, tasty, You look like you could do with a nice, tasty,
549 00:32:22,468 00:32:24,468 meaty hot dog? meaty hot dog?
550 00:32:24,468 00:32:26,823 We've got all kinds of hot dogs. We've got all kinds of hot dogs.
551 00:32:26,823 00:32:28,359 We've got chicken hot dogs. We've got chicken hot dogs.
552 00:32:28,359 00:32:29,235 We've got pork hot dogs. We've got pork hot dogs.
553 00:32:29,235 00:32:31,485 We've got venison hot dogs. We've got venison hot dogs.
554 00:32:33,184 00:32:35,824 First one's on the house. First one's on the house.
555 00:32:35,824 00:32:38,982 Fundraising to save the animals. Fundraising to save the animals.
556 00:32:38,982 00:32:41,732 (dramatic music) (dramatic music)
557 00:33:16,856 00:33:17,689 - Matt? - Matt?
558 00:33:24,614 00:33:25,652 You know what today is right? You know what today is right?
559 00:33:25,652 00:33:26,688 - Eggs. - Eggs.
560 00:33:26,688 00:33:27,521 What? What?
561 00:33:27,521 00:33:29,049 - It's your one month vegan anniversary. - It's your one month vegan anniversary.
562 00:33:29,049 00:33:29,882 It's amazing. It's amazing.
563 00:33:29,882 00:33:31,112 I'll throw you a party. I'll throw you a party.
564 00:33:31,112 00:33:34,415 - Oh, you don't need to do that. How about just dinner? - Oh, you don't need to do that. How about just dinner?
565 00:33:34,415 00:33:36,125 Just you and me, like a date? Just you and me, like a date?
566 00:33:36,125 00:33:38,239 - Have it at my house, it'll be great. - Have it at my house, it'll be great.
567 00:33:38,239 00:33:41,520 We'll have vegan chicken nuggets, vegan fish fingers, We'll have vegan chicken nuggets, vegan fish fingers,
568 00:33:41,520 00:33:43,708 burgers with vegan beef patties. burgers with vegan beef patties.
569 00:33:43,708 00:33:45,791 - Sounds good, excuse me. - Sounds good, excuse me.
570 00:33:48,853 00:33:51,436 (Matt panting) (Matt panting)
571 00:33:53,771 00:33:56,044 "When the temptation is strong, "When the temptation is strong,
572 00:33:56,044 00:33:58,410 "focus on the thought of tofu." "focus on the thought of tofu."
573 00:33:58,410 00:34:01,993 Tofu, boiled tofu, mashed tofu, fried tofu. Tofu, boiled tofu, mashed tofu, fried tofu.
574 00:34:03,628 00:34:04,858 Why isn't this working? Why isn't this working?
575 00:34:04,858 00:34:06,775 Why isn't this working? Why isn't this working?
576 00:34:08,715 00:34:10,585 It's not what it looks like. It's not what it looks like.
577 00:34:10,585 00:34:11,585 I'm a vegan. I'm a vegan.
578 00:34:13,579 00:34:17,246 Hello, my name's Matt, and I'm a meat-eater. Hello, my name's Matt, and I'm a meat-eater.
579 00:34:18,183 00:34:20,016 - [Group] Hello, Matt. - [Group] Hello, Matt.
580 00:34:21,243 00:34:25,884 - I've been off the animal products for 30 days now, - I've been off the animal products for 30 days now,
581 00:34:25,884 00:34:29,256 but to be honest, it's not going that well. but to be honest, it's not going that well.
582 00:34:29,256 00:34:31,964 Every day is a struggle. Every day is a struggle.
583 00:34:31,964 00:34:34,797 I find my mind drifting back to... I find my mind drifting back to...
584 00:34:35,943 00:34:38,276 - It's okay, Matt, carry on. - It's okay, Matt, carry on.
585 00:34:41,496 00:34:45,224 - I do everything it says in "Managing Your Meat." - I do everything it says in "Managing Your Meat."
586 00:34:45,224 00:34:46,641 I visualize tofu. I visualize tofu.
587 00:34:47,821 00:34:52,648 I think of the harm that I've caused all the cows and sheep. I think of the harm that I've caused all the cows and sheep.
588 00:34:52,648 00:34:57,231 When I feel like KFC, I call my sponsor, but it's hard. When I feel like KFC, I call my sponsor, but it's hard.
589 00:34:58,089 00:34:59,590 (emotional music) (emotional music)
590 00:34:59,590 00:35:01,632 It's really hard. It's really hard.
591 00:35:01,632 00:35:04,817 - Thanks for sharing, take a seat. - Thanks for sharing, take a seat.
592 00:35:04,817 00:35:05,758 - I'm sorry, Matt, - I'm sorry, Matt,
593 00:35:05,758 00:35:09,823 but we have given the job to somebody else. but we have given the job to somebody else.
594 00:35:09,823 00:35:11,265 - What? - What?
595 00:35:11,265 00:35:15,199 - There was just somebody better suited for the position, - There was just somebody better suited for the position,
596 00:35:15,199 00:35:18,616 someone with customer service experience. someone with customer service experience.
597 00:35:20,044 00:35:22,794 (dramatic music) (dramatic music)
598 00:35:24,942 00:35:26,494 - And I know it's against the rules - And I know it's against the rules
599 00:35:26,494 00:35:29,726 but I have a really great World War II book to recommend, but I have a really great World War II book to recommend,
600 00:35:29,726 00:35:32,859 really dives into the nitty gritty of the Eastern Front, really dives into the nitty gritty of the Eastern Front,
601 00:35:32,859 00:35:33,692 but don't tell anyone. but don't tell anyone.
602 00:35:33,692 00:35:35,442 It can be our secret. It can be our secret.
603 00:35:41,561 00:35:44,144 (solemn music) (solemn music)
604 00:36:01,773 00:36:04,273 (Matt crying) (Matt crying)
605 00:36:14,218 00:36:18,005 (creature clicking) (creature clicking)
606 00:36:18,005 00:36:20,922 (mysterious music) (mysterious music)
607 00:36:22,037 00:36:24,278 - You're not real. - You're not real.
608 00:36:24,278 00:36:26,424 You're just a manifestation of my insecurities You're just a manifestation of my insecurities
609 00:36:26,424 00:36:28,003 about vegan expectation about vegan expectation
610 00:36:28,003 00:36:29,769 and the crippling anxiety brought about and the crippling anxiety brought about
611 00:36:29,769 00:36:34,436 by being clicked off stage during my poetry performance. by being clicked off stage during my poetry performance.
612 00:36:40,816 00:36:43,483 No. (screaming) No. (screaming)
613 00:37:10,033 00:37:14,870 ♪ Matt, Matty Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt ♪ ♪ Matt, Matty Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt ♪
614 00:37:14,870 00:37:16,965 ♪ I worked in the library ♪ ♪ I worked in the library ♪
615 00:37:16,965 00:37:18,885 ♪ It seemed weirdly unrelated ♪ ♪ It seemed weirdly unrelated ♪
616 00:37:18,885 00:37:20,868 ♪ Then I fought the monster ♪ ♪ Then I fought the monster ♪
617 00:37:20,868 00:37:23,503 ♪ It was living in the basement ♪ ♪ It was living in the basement ♪
618 00:37:23,503 00:37:25,330 ♪ Muffins and cupcakes ♪ ♪ Muffins and cupcakes ♪
619 00:37:25,330 00:37:27,428 ♪ You can see my frustration ♪ ♪ You can see my frustration ♪
620 00:37:27,428 00:37:29,139 ♪ I lost my dream job ♪ ♪ I lost my dream job ♪
621 00:37:29,139 00:37:32,056 ♪ I spent the day ♪ ♪ I spent the day ♪
622 00:37:33,263 00:37:35,680 I just realized I can't sing. I just realized I can't sing.
623 00:37:43,860 00:37:46,360 (eerie music) (eerie music)
624 00:38:02,508 00:38:04,194 (door creaking) (door creaking)
625 00:38:04,194 00:38:06,777 (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
626 00:38:13,010 00:38:13,843 - Matt. - Matt.
627 00:38:15,192 00:38:18,123 - [Group] Happy veganniversary. - [Group] Happy veganniversary.
628 00:38:18,123 00:38:20,539 (group cheering) (group cheering)
629 00:38:20,539 00:38:22,956 - Okay, all right, yay, okay. - Okay, all right, yay, okay.
630 00:38:24,490 00:38:29,082 - I thought you weren't going to make it to your own party. - I thought you weren't going to make it to your own party.
631 00:38:29,082 00:38:33,249 - Here I am, wouldn't miss it for the world, okay. - Here I am, wouldn't miss it for the world, okay.
632 00:38:34,168 00:38:35,918 - Okay, go celebrate. - Okay, go celebrate.
633 00:38:37,400 00:38:40,233 (emotional music) (emotional music)
634 00:38:58,918 00:39:01,835 (group chattering) (group chattering)
635 00:39:06,423 00:39:09,256 (fruit crunching) (fruit crunching)
636 00:39:13,779 00:39:16,196 - Sean? - Matthew, guess what? - Sean? - Matthew, guess what?
637 00:39:17,235 00:39:19,202 - What? - Immi the Vegan - What? - Immi the Vegan
638 00:39:19,202 00:39:22,262 is going to be opening for the next Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo gig. is going to be opening for the next Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo gig.
639 00:39:22,262 00:39:24,246 - What? - She's opening for us - What? - She's opening for us
640 00:39:24,246 00:39:26,021 and I'm going to help her rehearse. and I'm going to help her rehearse.
641 00:39:26,021 00:39:31,021 I've got some great exercises to help warm up her throat. I've got some great exercises to help warm up her throat.
642 00:39:31,023 00:39:33,690 (Matt laughing) (Matt laughing)
643 00:39:37,162 00:39:39,912 (group laughing) (group laughing)
644 00:39:53,507 00:39:56,036 ♪ It's such a sad meal ♪ ♪ It's such a sad meal ♪
645 00:39:56,036 00:39:57,252 ♪ Deep in your bowl ♪ ♪ Deep in your bowl ♪
646 00:39:57,252 00:39:59,620 ♪ A kind of pale grew ♪ ♪ A kind of pale grew ♪
647 00:39:59,620 00:40:00,973 ♪ Barely nothing at all ♪ ♪ Barely nothing at all ♪
648 00:40:00,973 00:40:03,143 ♪ Within your bowl ♪ ♪ Within your bowl ♪
649 00:40:03,143 00:40:07,817 ♪ I'll place lentils within your bowl ♪ ♪ I'll place lentils within your bowl ♪
650 00:40:07,817 00:40:08,953 (group laughing) (group laughing)
651 00:40:08,953 00:40:11,771 ♪ It's such a bad taste ♪ ♪ It's such a bad taste ♪
652 00:40:11,771 00:40:13,720 ♪ Caught in your teeth ♪ ♪ Caught in your teeth ♪
653 00:40:13,720 00:40:15,469 ♪ Swallow it down ♪ ♪ Swallow it down ♪
654 00:40:15,469 00:40:16,880 ♪ Pretending it's beef ♪ ♪ Pretending it's beef ♪
655 00:40:16,880 00:40:18,765 ♪ Within your mouth ♪ ♪ Within your mouth ♪
656 00:40:18,765 00:40:23,765 ♪ I'll place lentils within your mouth ♪ ♪ I'll place lentils within your mouth ♪
657 00:40:24,671 00:40:26,736 ♪ And as the taste improves ♪ ♪ And as the taste improves ♪
658 00:40:26,736 00:40:29,008 ♪ It tastes less like goo ♪ ♪ It tastes less like goo ♪
659 00:40:29,008 00:40:30,666 ♪ Every thought is gone ♪ ♪ Every thought is gone ♪
660 00:40:30,666 00:40:35,273 ♪ Of the meals you like to eat ♪ ♪ Of the meals you like to eat ♪
661 00:40:35,273 00:40:39,058 ♪ And I'll be there for you ♪ ♪ And I'll be there for you ♪
662 00:40:39,058 00:40:44,058 ♪ There's no more meat around ♪ ♪ There's no more meat around ♪
663 00:40:46,671 00:40:51,671 ♪ There's no more meat around ♪ ♪ There's no more meat around ♪
664 00:40:54,752 00:40:58,585 ♪ There's no more meat around ♪ ♪ There's no more meat around ♪
665 00:41:04,110 00:41:06,693 (Matt panting) (Matt panting)
666 00:41:10,659 00:41:13,909 - [Sean] (indistinct). - [Sean] (indistinct).
667 00:41:15,462 00:41:17,545 Sean, what are you doing? Sean, what are you doing?
668 00:41:19,765 00:41:23,598 You're sharing your celery with another woman. You're sharing your celery with another woman.
669 00:41:25,205 00:41:27,872 (Sean clicking) (Sean clicking)
670 00:41:30,662 00:41:32,412 - You're the clicker. - You're the clicker.
671 00:41:33,842 00:41:35,384 You're the clicker? You're the clicker?
672 00:41:35,384 00:41:36,564 - That's right, Matthew. - That's right, Matthew.
673 00:41:36,564 00:41:40,465 I am, and if you tell Inni the Vegan about any of this, I am, and if you tell Inni the Vegan about any of this,
674 00:41:40,465 00:41:42,897 I'll make sure you lose your precious shelving job. I'll make sure you lose your precious shelving job.
675 00:41:42,897 00:41:46,703 - (gasping) You're a bad vegan. - (gasping) You're a bad vegan.
676 00:41:46,703 00:41:51,703 - Well, at least I'm a real vegan, Matthew. (clicking) - Well, at least I'm a real vegan, Matthew. (clicking)
677 00:41:57,310 00:41:59,893 (door banging) (door banging)
678 00:42:17,387 00:42:18,220 (door knocking) (door knocking)
679 00:42:18,220 00:42:20,303 - Matt, are you in there? - Matt, are you in there?
680 00:42:25,117 00:42:29,058 What's that smell? - Nothing, just shitting. What's that smell? - Nothing, just shitting.
681 00:42:29,058 00:42:31,191 (energetic music) (energetic music)
682 00:42:31,191 00:42:34,314 (air freshener spraying) (air freshener spraying)
683 00:42:34,314 00:42:36,252 - Are you okay? - Are you okay?
684 00:42:36,252 00:42:39,085 (toilet flushing) (toilet flushing)
685 00:42:47,217 00:42:49,384 Matt, where are you going? Matt, where are you going?
686 00:42:51,009 00:42:53,842 (emotional music) (emotional music)
687 00:42:59,551 00:43:01,551 Hey, why'd you run away? Hey, why'd you run away?
688 00:43:03,583 00:43:06,980 Wow, you chose a really cinematic spot. Wow, you chose a really cinematic spot.
689 00:43:06,980 00:43:09,830 - I just come here when I'm sad, Immi the Vegan. - I just come here when I'm sad, Immi the Vegan.
690 00:43:09,830 00:43:12,372 I don't think in terms of production value. I don't think in terms of production value.
691 00:43:12,372 00:43:14,127 - Why are you sad? - Why are you sad?
692 00:43:14,127 00:43:17,651 - Because you chose Sean over me, that arrogant, slimy fuck. - Because you chose Sean over me, that arrogant, slimy fuck.
693 00:43:17,651 00:43:20,068 - Over you, what do you mean? - Over you, what do you mean?
694 00:43:21,729 00:43:24,673 - I just saw him sharing celery with another woman. - I just saw him sharing celery with another woman.
695 00:43:24,673 00:43:26,068 - Sean would never share celery. - Sean would never share celery.
696 00:43:26,068 00:43:27,136 That's an awful thing to say. That's an awful thing to say.
697 00:43:27,136 00:43:28,945 - He's also the one who's been ironically clicking me - He's also the one who's been ironically clicking me
698 00:43:28,945 00:43:31,028 off stage at slam poetry. off stage at slam poetry.
699 00:43:32,128 00:43:34,705 - Are you angry because he got the promotion over you? - Are you angry because he got the promotion over you?
700 00:43:34,705 00:43:37,200 - Muffins and cupcakes are basically the same thing. - Muffins and cupcakes are basically the same thing.
701 00:43:37,200 00:43:38,784 There's pretty much no difference. There's pretty much no difference.
702 00:43:38,784 00:43:42,618 - Actually, there is quite a big difference. - Actually, there is quite a big difference.
703 00:43:42,618 00:43:44,704 Is that a meat kebab? Is that a meat kebab?
704 00:43:44,704 00:43:46,650 - Yes, it's a meat kebab. - Yes, it's a meat kebab.
705 00:43:46,650 00:43:47,855 I've been eating meat. I've been eating meat.
706 00:43:47,855 00:43:50,258 Meat is yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Meat is yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
707 00:43:50,258 00:43:51,520 it's not a crime. it's not a crime.
708 00:43:51,520 00:43:53,020 Ah, what the fuck? Ah, what the fuck?
709 00:43:53,886 00:43:55,996 - I just threw this huge party for you. - I just threw this huge party for you.
710 00:43:55,996 00:43:57,452 Now you've ruined everything. Now you've ruined everything.
711 00:43:57,452 00:43:59,991 - Yeah, that kebab cost seven bucks. - Yeah, that kebab cost seven bucks.
712 00:43:59,991 00:44:03,324 - I'll pay you back when I'm less angry. - I'll pay you back when I'm less angry.
713 00:44:06,348 00:44:09,795 ♪ Matt, you ate a meat kebab ♪ ♪ Matt, you ate a meat kebab ♪
714 00:44:09,795 00:44:13,131 ♪ Ruining the best friendship I've ever had ♪ ♪ Ruining the best friendship I've ever had ♪
715 00:44:13,131 00:44:15,638 ♪ I thought we were in this together ♪ ♪ I thought we were in this together ♪
716 00:44:15,638 00:44:19,222 ♪ Throwing up the vegan sign forever ♪ ♪ Throwing up the vegan sign forever ♪
717 00:44:19,222 00:44:20,839 Maybe we could've had... Maybe we could've had...
718 00:44:20,839 00:44:23,306 ♪ Something more ♪ ♪ Something more ♪
719 00:44:23,306 00:44:26,382 ♪ Something, something more ♪ ♪ Something, something more ♪
720 00:44:26,382 00:44:29,664 ♪ I've been such a stupid fool ♪ ♪ I've been such a stupid fool ♪
721 00:44:29,664 00:44:32,879 ♪ She's just not that into me ♪ ♪ She's just not that into me ♪
722 00:44:32,879 00:44:37,879 ♪ She didn't even notice my severe head injury ♪ ♪ She didn't even notice my severe head injury ♪
723 00:44:38,420 00:44:40,707 - Ouch, and I just wanted... - Ouch, and I just wanted...
724 00:44:40,707 00:44:43,041 ♪ Something more ♪ ♪ Something more ♪
725 00:44:43,041 00:44:45,043 ♪ Something, something more ♪ ♪ Something, something more ♪
726 00:44:45,043 00:44:46,929 ♪ So what, I'm not vegan ♪ ♪ So what, I'm not vegan ♪
727 00:44:46,929 00:44:48,528 ♪ You're not vegan ♪ ♪ You're not vegan ♪
728 00:44:48,528 00:44:50,225 ♪ So we see things differently ♪ ♪ So we see things differently ♪
729 00:44:50,225 00:44:51,767 ♪ But we are what we eat ♪ ♪ But we are what we eat ♪
730 00:44:51,767 00:44:53,069 ♪ Does this mean it's not meant to be ♪ ♪ Does this mean it's not meant to be ♪
731 00:44:53,069 00:44:54,867 ♪ I don't know what I'm feeling ♪ ♪ I don't know what I'm feeling ♪
732 00:44:54,867 00:44:56,957 ♪ Can't you just accept me for me ♪ ♪ Can't you just accept me for me ♪
733 00:44:56,957 00:44:59,516 ♪ Did you lie about the celery ♪ ♪ Did you lie about the celery ♪
734 00:44:59,516 00:45:01,811 - Maybe we could have had... - Maybe we could have had...
735 00:45:01,811 00:45:04,243 ♪ Something more ♪ ♪ Something more ♪
736 00:45:04,243 00:45:07,910 ♪ Something, something more ♪ ♪ Something, something more ♪
737 00:45:14,591 00:45:17,235 ♪ When you throw your friends a party ♪ ♪ When you throw your friends a party ♪
738 00:45:17,235 00:45:19,795 ♪ And they show up really late ♪ ♪ And they show up really late ♪
739 00:45:19,795 00:45:22,287 ♪ And they see the food you made them ♪ ♪ And they see the food you made them ♪
740 00:45:22,287 00:45:24,861 ♪ And they chuck up on their plate ♪ ♪ And they chuck up on their plate ♪
741 00:45:24,861 00:45:29,658 ♪ 'Cause they don't like your vegan food ♪ ♪ 'Cause they don't like your vegan food ♪
742 00:45:29,658 00:45:34,511 ♪ No, they don't like your vegan food ♪ ♪ No, they don't like your vegan food ♪
743 00:45:34,511 00:45:38,850 ♪ They don't know that they're being rude ♪ ♪ They don't know that they're being rude ♪
744 00:45:38,850 00:45:40,405 ♪ When they tell you they personally can't stand ♪ ♪ When they tell you they personally can't stand ♪
745 00:45:40,405 00:45:41,631 ♪ What's (indistinct) ♪ ♪ What's (indistinct) ♪
746 00:45:41,631 00:45:43,090 ♪ But settle for hiding in your cat's litter box ♪ ♪ But settle for hiding in your cat's litter box ♪
747 00:45:43,090 00:45:45,923 ♪ Your vegan food ♪ ♪ Your vegan food ♪
748 00:45:55,379 00:45:56,962 Hey, Sean, it's me. Hey, Sean, it's me.
749 00:45:58,495 00:45:59,328 Hey, where are you? Hey, where are you?
750 00:45:59,328 00:46:01,340 I thought that we were going to be rehearsing today. I thought that we were going to be rehearsing today.
751 00:46:01,340 00:46:03,087 I'm kind of nervous. I'm kind of nervous.
752 00:46:03,087 00:46:05,203 Anyway, please call me. Anyway, please call me.
753 00:46:05,203 00:46:07,924 (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
754 00:46:07,924 00:46:09,591 It's Immi the Vegan. It's Immi the Vegan.
755 00:46:13,929 00:46:16,363 Scanner, should I be worried? Scanner, should I be worried?
756 00:46:16,363 00:46:19,987 - [Machine] He's vegan, therefore entirely trustworthy. - [Machine] He's vegan, therefore entirely trustworthy.
757 00:46:19,987 00:46:21,987 - That's what I thought. - That's what I thought.
758 00:46:23,360 00:46:24,943 - [Machine] Danger. - [Machine] Danger.
759 00:46:26,608 00:46:27,441 - Oh, no. - Oh, no.
760 00:46:29,468 00:46:32,217 ♪ Facing your monster ♪ ♪ Facing your monster ♪
761 00:46:32,217 00:46:35,920 ♪ Or your MEA sponsor ♪ ♪ Or your MEA sponsor ♪
762 00:46:35,920 00:46:38,749 ♪ It's only hallucination ♪ ♪ It's only hallucination ♪
763 00:46:38,749 00:46:41,885 ♪ Unless you give into temptation ♪ ♪ Unless you give into temptation ♪
764 00:46:41,885 00:46:44,607 ♪ Unless you give into temptation ♪ ♪ Unless you give into temptation ♪
765 00:46:44,607 00:46:48,774 ♪ Unless you give into temptation ♪ ♪ Unless you give into temptation ♪
766 00:46:52,061 00:46:55,144 - Okay, Matt, pull yourself together. - Okay, Matt, pull yourself together.
767 00:46:56,272 00:47:00,591 Only eight hours in this dimly lit, poorly ventilated room Only eight hours in this dimly lit, poorly ventilated room
768 00:47:00,591 00:47:03,178 with a vicious monster. with a vicious monster.
769 00:47:03,178 00:47:04,605 Nobody likes their job. Nobody likes their job.
770 00:47:04,605 00:47:07,232 (creature clicking) (creature clicking)
771 00:47:07,232 00:47:10,065 Sean, what are you doing down here Sean, what are you doing down here
772 00:47:11,023 00:47:12,864 and who's on the front desk? and who's on the front desk?
773 00:47:12,864 00:47:15,614 (dramatic music) (dramatic music)
774 00:47:16,893 00:47:18,030 It's the monster. It's the monster.
775 00:47:18,030 00:47:19,280 Sean, look out. Sean, look out.
776 00:47:31,284 00:47:33,951 (books banging) (books banging)
777 00:47:42,744 00:47:44,324 There's a monster in the basement There's a monster in the basement
778 00:47:44,324 00:47:45,866 and Sean's been feeding it. and Sean's been feeding it.
779 00:47:45,866 00:47:46,699 - Yes? - Yes?
780 00:47:48,962 00:47:51,795 - You knew about this? - Of course. - You knew about this? - Of course.
781 00:47:56,629 00:47:58,242 - I quit. - I quit.
782 00:47:58,242 00:48:01,557 ♪ I still love you ♪ ♪ I still love you ♪
783 00:48:01,557 00:48:06,094 ♪ Always love you ♪ ♪ Always love you ♪
784 00:48:06,094 00:48:10,344 ♪ Though you don't know how I feel ♪ ♪ Though you don't know how I feel ♪
785 00:48:12,059 00:48:14,059 - Matt. - Immi the Vegan. - Matt. - Immi the Vegan.
786 00:48:15,583 00:48:18,378 - How are you? - I just quit my job. - How are you? - I just quit my job.
787 00:48:18,378 00:48:19,211 - How come? - How come?
788 00:48:19,211 00:48:22,074 - There was a monster living in the basement. - There was a monster living in the basement.
789 00:48:22,074 00:48:24,698 How's the music going? - I've got that gig tonight, How's the music going? - I've got that gig tonight,
790 00:48:24,698 00:48:29,615 you know, with Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo, but I just broke my ukulele. you know, with Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo, but I just broke my ukulele.
791 00:48:31,753 00:48:33,402 I'm not feeling very confident. I'm not feeling very confident.
792 00:48:33,402 00:48:36,138 - You'll be great, you always are. - You'll be great, you always are.
793 00:48:36,138 00:48:40,190 ♪ Impossible, impossible, impossible, impossible ♪ ♪ Impossible, impossible, impossible, impossible ♪
794 00:48:40,190 00:48:42,320 ♪ For us ♪ ♪ For us ♪
795 00:48:42,320 00:48:45,903 - Hey, Matt, it was really nice to see you. - Hey, Matt, it was really nice to see you.
796 00:48:47,453 00:48:50,495 ♪ I still love you ♪ ♪ I still love you ♪
797 00:48:50,495 00:48:55,296 ♪ Always love you ♪ ♪ Always love you ♪
798 00:48:55,296 00:48:59,089 ♪ Though I've got to wonder why ♪ ♪ Though I've got to wonder why ♪
799 00:48:59,089 00:49:01,377 - I had a set back earlier today after I saw someone - I had a set back earlier today after I saw someone
800 00:49:01,377 00:49:03,455 who's a real trigger for me. who's a real trigger for me.
801 00:49:03,455 00:49:05,455 I binged on jelly beans. I binged on jelly beans.
802 00:49:07,905 00:49:12,905 ♪ And I've tried to stop, I've tried ♪ ♪ And I've tried to stop, I've tried ♪
803 00:49:15,184 00:49:20,184 ♪ Is it really toxic masculinity ♪ ♪ Is it really toxic masculinity ♪
804 00:49:23,707 00:49:27,216 ♪ Just seems so impossible, impossible, impossible ♪ ♪ Just seems so impossible, impossible, impossible ♪
805 00:49:27,216 00:49:32,033 ♪ Impossible that you ♪ ♪ Impossible that you ♪
806 00:49:32,033 00:49:37,033 ♪ That you'd just not be into me ♪ ♪ That you'd just not be into me ♪
807 00:49:41,298 00:49:46,298 ♪ Into me ♪ ♪ Into me ♪
808 00:49:47,410 00:49:50,160 ♪ Be into me, oh ♪ ♪ Be into me, oh ♪
809 00:49:52,818 00:49:53,651 - Sean. - Sean.
810 00:49:55,858 00:49:57,294 - I'll see you later, okay? - I'll see you later, okay?
811 00:49:57,294 00:49:58,127 See you later. See you later.
812 00:49:58,127 00:50:00,214 - I've been looking all over for you. - I've been looking all over for you.
813 00:50:00,214 00:50:01,413 I thought we were rehearsing today? I thought we were rehearsing today?
814 00:50:01,413 00:50:03,013 Didn't you get my messages? Didn't you get my messages?
815 00:50:03,013 00:50:05,540 - No, my phone was off. - No, my phone was off.
816 00:50:05,540 00:50:06,957 - Oh, who's that? - Oh, who's that?
817 00:50:09,764 00:50:11,412 - That? - That?
818 00:50:11,412 00:50:13,251 No one, no one at all. No one, no one at all.
819 00:50:13,251 00:50:17,168 Anyway, I am going to go inside to get a drink. Anyway, I am going to go inside to get a drink.
820 00:50:20,032 00:50:20,865 - Celery. - Celery.
821 00:50:22,130 00:50:24,899 What's this? - It's just a snack. What's this? - It's just a snack.
822 00:50:24,899 00:50:28,227 - There's lipstick on it. - What is this? - There's lipstick on it. - What is this?
823 00:50:28,227 00:50:29,831 The celery inquisition? The celery inquisition?
824 00:50:29,831 00:50:31,732 - You've been sharing your celery with another woman, - You've been sharing your celery with another woman,
825 00:50:31,732 00:50:32,732 haven't you? haven't you?
826 00:50:33,921 00:50:36,563 - You're starting to become a real drag, Immi. - You're starting to become a real drag, Immi.
827 00:50:36,563 00:50:37,873 You know what? You know what?
828 00:50:37,873 00:50:40,029 I don't think we've got room for you on the bill tonight I don't think we've got room for you on the bill tonight
829 00:50:40,029 00:50:41,105 after all. after all.
830 00:50:41,105 00:50:43,408 Why don't you just go home? Why don't you just go home?
831 00:50:43,408 00:50:46,289 - But I've been practicing for weeks. - But I've been practicing for weeks.
832 00:50:46,289 00:50:49,206 - And you didn't even get any good. - And you didn't even get any good.
833 00:50:51,827 00:50:54,410 (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
834 00:50:58,686 00:51:00,826 ♪ Celery ♪ ♪ Celery ♪
835 00:51:00,826 00:51:05,826 ♪ Chewing on you works off calories ♪ ♪ Chewing on you works off calories ♪
836 00:51:06,249 00:51:08,311 ♪ And can't you see ♪ ♪ And can't you see ♪
837 00:51:08,311 00:51:13,311 ♪ That (indistinct) an allegory ♪ ♪ That (indistinct) an allegory ♪
838 00:51:15,642 00:51:16,642 - Thank you. - Thank you.
839 00:51:19,460 00:51:22,635 - (sighing) Matt. - (sighing) Matt.
840 00:51:22,635 00:51:25,771 - What's wrong? - I'm not playing. - What's wrong? - I'm not playing.
841 00:51:25,771 00:51:27,760 - Oh, no, it's okay, I've got you a new ukulele. - Oh, no, it's okay, I've got you a new ukulele.
842 00:51:27,760 00:51:28,593 See? See?
843 00:51:30,120 00:51:34,620 - That's really sweet but obviously I already got one. - That's really sweet but obviously I already got one.
844 00:51:35,543 00:51:38,423 - I already threw away the receipt. - I already threw away the receipt.
845 00:51:38,423 00:51:40,966 - Sean doesn't want me to play. - Sean doesn't want me to play.
846 00:51:40,966 00:51:42,633 He says I'm no good. He says I'm no good.
847 00:51:45,384 00:51:48,616 - I'd like to check in my ukulele please. - I'd like to check in my ukulele please.
848 00:51:48,616 00:51:51,449 (energetic music) (energetic music)
849 00:51:58,487 00:52:02,058 ♪ My sad, sad song ♪ ♪ My sad, sad song ♪
850 00:52:02,058 00:52:06,103 ♪ I'm a fool, I knew it all along ♪ ♪ I'm a fool, I knew it all along ♪
851 00:52:06,103 00:52:09,751 ♪ For a moment, I thought that I could ♪ ♪ For a moment, I thought that I could ♪
852 00:52:09,751 00:52:13,528 ♪ But I didn't even get any good ♪ ♪ But I didn't even get any good ♪
853 00:52:13,528 00:52:16,028 (Immi crying) (Immi crying)
854 00:52:35,006 00:52:38,006 (audience cheering) (audience cheering)
855 00:52:45,515 00:52:46,352 - Sorry, everyone, - Sorry, everyone,
856 00:52:46,352 00:52:49,632 but the opening act tonight has pulled out. but the opening act tonight has pulled out.
857 00:52:49,632 00:52:51,550 (audience booing) (audience booing)
858 00:52:51,550 00:52:54,512 Yeah, yeah, very unprofessional, I know, Yeah, yeah, very unprofessional, I know,
859 00:52:54,512 00:52:57,106 but I can assure you that they will not be opening but I can assure you that they will not be opening
860 00:52:57,106 00:52:59,189 for Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo again. for Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo again.
861 00:53:00,190 00:53:05,190 - [Audience] Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo, Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo, Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo. - [Audience] Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo, Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo, Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo.
862 00:53:06,241 00:53:09,662 - So naturally there's been a slight change of plans, - So naturally there's been a slight change of plans,
863 00:53:09,662 00:53:13,162 but I can assure you everything is still-- but I can assure you everything is still--
864 00:53:14,912 00:53:18,672 - No, no, no, no, no, Sean has been misinformed. - No, no, no, no, no, Sean has been misinformed.
865 00:53:18,672 00:53:21,291 The opening act is here and ready to rock. The opening act is here and ready to rock.
866 00:53:21,291 00:53:24,124 (audience booing) (audience booing)
867 00:53:27,097 00:53:29,359 - [Audience] Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, - [Audience] Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight,
868 00:53:29,359 00:53:32,216 fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight
869 00:53:32,216 00:53:34,961 fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight,
870 00:53:34,961 00:53:36,044 fight, fight. fight, fight.
871 00:53:37,057 00:53:37,954 - My eye. - My eye.
872 00:53:37,954 00:53:42,482 What have you done to me? (screaming) What have you done to me? (screaming)
873 00:53:42,482 00:53:44,300 - You can do it, Immi the Vegan. - You can do it, Immi the Vegan.
874 00:53:44,300 00:53:45,717 Visit me in jail. Visit me in jail.
875 00:53:47,235 00:53:48,068 Visit me. Visit me.
876 00:53:55,057 00:53:58,307 (microphone squealing) (microphone squealing)
877 00:54:00,886 00:54:04,433 - Hi, everyone, I'm Immi the Vegan. - Hi, everyone, I'm Immi the Vegan.
878 00:54:04,433 00:54:07,266 (audience booing) (audience booing)
879 00:54:10,656 00:54:12,739 I'm here to play my song. I'm here to play my song.
880 00:54:13,666 00:54:16,416 It's called "Vegan Love Forever". It's called "Vegan Love Forever".
881 00:54:22,995 00:54:27,361 ♪ On Monday, I searched for love ♪ ♪ On Monday, I searched for love ♪
882 00:54:27,361 00:54:31,679 ♪ In a shop, down a supermarket aisle ♪ ♪ In a shop, down a supermarket aisle ♪
883 00:54:31,679 00:54:35,648 ♪ On Tuesday, I was in a rush ♪ ♪ On Tuesday, I was in a rush ♪
884 00:54:35,648 00:54:37,875 ♪ Wednesday, I gave up ♪ ♪ Wednesday, I gave up ♪
885 00:54:37,875 00:54:40,000 ♪ Thursday, I had tonsillitis ♪ ♪ Thursday, I had tonsillitis ♪
886 00:54:40,000 00:54:45,000 ♪ All those stories tell you that true love is there to find ♪ ♪ All those stories tell you that true love is there to find ♪
887 00:54:48,320 00:54:52,466 ♪ I just wanna happy ending ♪ ♪ I just wanna happy ending ♪
888 00:54:52,466 00:54:56,580 ♪ Vegan love forever ♪ ♪ Vegan love forever ♪
889 00:54:56,580 00:55:00,721 ♪ Friday, I met a guy ♪ ♪ Friday, I met a guy ♪
890 00:55:00,721 00:55:02,581 ♪ Who plays guitar ♪ ♪ Who plays guitar ♪
891 00:55:02,581 00:55:04,895 ♪ His dancing makes me smile ♪ ♪ His dancing makes me smile ♪
892 00:55:04,895 00:55:08,273 ♪ Saturday, he didn't call ♪ ♪ Saturday, he didn't call ♪
893 00:55:08,273 00:55:11,191 ♪ And that's not all ♪ ♪ And that's not all ♪
894 00:55:11,191 00:55:13,350 ♪ Turns out he has reptile blood ♪ ♪ Turns out he has reptile blood ♪
895 00:55:13,350 00:55:15,054 ♪ All those stories ♪ ♪ All those stories ♪
896 00:55:15,054 00:55:17,305 - No, don't, don't, don't, don't touch it. - No, don't, don't, don't, don't touch it.
897 00:55:17,305 00:55:21,461 ♪ True love is there to find ♪ ♪ True love is there to find ♪
898 00:55:21,461 00:55:25,767 ♪ I just wanna happy fucking ending ♪ ♪ I just wanna happy fucking ending ♪
899 00:55:25,767 00:55:30,767 ♪ With what, who, how, ever ♪ ♪ With what, who, how, ever ♪
900 00:55:30,846 00:55:34,443 ♪ It's Sunday ♪ ♪ It's Sunday ♪
901 00:55:34,443 00:55:37,017 ♪ It's Sunday with you ♪ ♪ It's Sunday with you ♪
902 00:55:37,017 00:55:40,362 ♪ Oh, it's Sunday ♪ ♪ Oh, it's Sunday ♪
903 00:55:40,362 00:55:41,979 ♪ It's Sunday ♪ ♪ It's Sunday ♪
904 00:55:41,979 00:55:44,441 ♪ It's Sunday ♪ ♪ It's Sunday ♪
905 00:55:44,441 00:55:49,441 ♪ I didn't see you before but then you were there ♪ ♪ I didn't see you before but then you were there ♪
906 00:55:49,908 00:55:52,908 (audience clapping) (audience clapping)
907 00:56:01,718 00:56:03,166 - I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet, - I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet,
908 00:56:03,166 00:56:06,333 but your vegan kids are gonna love it. but your vegan kids are gonna love it.
909 00:56:12,544 00:56:15,294 (relaxing music) (relaxing music)
910 00:56:22,990 00:56:25,657 (door knocking) (door knocking)
911 00:56:28,187 00:56:29,803 - Hi. - Hey. - Hi. - Hey.
912 00:56:29,803 00:56:31,725 - Just wanted to check you were out of jail. - Just wanted to check you were out of jail.
913 00:56:31,725 00:56:34,642 - No, my court hearing's on Monday. - No, my court hearing's on Monday.
914 00:56:38,159 00:56:40,300 I hope Sean regains vision in that eye, I hope Sean regains vision in that eye,
915 00:56:40,300 00:56:44,967 'cause that looked a lot more serious than I'd intended. 'cause that looked a lot more serious than I'd intended.
916 00:56:45,886 00:56:47,997 - I'm sorry, Matt. - I'm sorry, Matt.
917 00:56:47,997 00:56:50,895 - It's okay. - No, it's not. - It's okay. - No, it's not.
918 00:56:50,895 00:56:52,495 I meant to call you and I didn't. I meant to call you and I didn't.
919 00:56:52,495 00:56:55,271 I came on really strong about that vegan stuff. I came on really strong about that vegan stuff.
920 00:56:55,271 00:56:57,498 I was just super excited, I was just super excited,
921 00:56:57,498 00:57:00,050 and you were totally right about Sean. and you were totally right about Sean.
922 00:57:00,050 00:57:02,283 I took you for granted. I took you for granted.
923 00:57:02,283 00:57:04,545 You've always been there for me. You've always been there for me.
924 00:57:04,545 00:57:06,128 Are you okay? - Yup. Are you okay? - Yup.
925 00:57:07,472 00:57:11,807 - I realize now that veganism hasn't come that easy to you, - I realize now that veganism hasn't come that easy to you,
926 00:57:11,807 00:57:13,394 but I really appreciate the effort. but I really appreciate the effort.
927 00:57:13,394 00:57:15,279 - Well, I've ditched dairy though - Well, I've ditched dairy though
928 00:57:15,279 00:57:17,132 and I'm still going to my Meat Eaters Anonymous meetings, and I'm still going to my Meat Eaters Anonymous meetings,
929 00:57:17,132 00:57:20,188 so that's got to give me some brownie points, right? so that's got to give me some brownie points, right?
930 00:57:20,188 00:57:21,771 Are brownies vegan? Are brownies vegan?
931 00:57:25,308 00:57:26,891 What are you doing? What are you doing?
932 00:57:28,316 00:57:29,149 - What? - What?
933 00:57:30,566 00:57:33,533 I thought that's where the moment was leading to, I thought that's where the moment was leading to,
934 00:57:33,533 00:57:35,949 the classic rom-com scenario? the classic rom-com scenario?
935 00:57:35,949 00:57:39,371 - No, you put me through hell and now you think - No, you put me through hell and now you think
936 00:57:39,371 00:57:41,948 because you make one kind of half-assed apology because you make one kind of half-assed apology
937 00:57:41,948 00:57:45,448 right towards the end, that that makes everything okay? right towards the end, that that makes everything okay?
938 00:57:45,448 00:57:48,531 I think I need to be alone right now. I think I need to be alone right now.
939 00:57:49,662 00:57:51,902 (door banging) (door banging)
940 00:57:51,902 00:57:54,735 (emotional music) (emotional music)
941 00:58:10,782 00:58:13,918 ♪ Oh, what's happening here ♪ ♪ Oh, what's happening here ♪
942 00:58:13,918 00:58:16,828 ♪ You were so desperate, but now you're cavalier ♪ ♪ You were so desperate, but now you're cavalier ♪
943 00:58:16,828 00:58:19,981 ♪ These are mixed messages you're sending ♪ ♪ These are mixed messages you're sending ♪
944 00:58:19,981 00:58:23,275 ♪ It's such an unsatisfying ending ♪ ♪ It's such an unsatisfying ending ♪
945 00:58:23,275 00:58:26,620 ♪ I just have to walk away ♪ ♪ I just have to walk away ♪
946 00:58:26,620 00:58:29,645 ♪ I've had a shitter of a day ♪ ♪ I've had a shitter of a day ♪
947 00:58:29,645 00:58:33,835 ♪ And I'm not just some actor in your play ♪ ♪ And I'm not just some actor in your play ♪
948 00:58:33,835 00:58:35,598 ♪ That just ain't it ♪ ♪ That just ain't it ♪
949 00:58:35,598 00:58:40,176 ♪ Chief, let's kill that motif ♪ ♪ Chief, let's kill that motif ♪
950 00:58:40,176 00:58:43,022 ♪ Right now, the storyline is pending ♪ ♪ Right now, the storyline is pending ♪
951 00:58:43,022 00:58:48,022 ♪ We'll cut to a Marvel-style post credit ending ♪ ♪ We'll cut to a Marvel-style post credit ending ♪
952 00:58:52,859 00:58:57,678 - Now, we all hoped he was never coming back, but, well, - Now, we all hoped he was never coming back, but, well,
953 00:58:57,678 00:58:59,095 here he is, Matt. here he is, Matt.
954 00:59:00,320 00:59:03,320 (audience clapping) (audience clapping)
955 00:59:08,384 00:59:10,166 This poem's called Immi the Vegan, This poem's called Immi the Vegan,
956 00:59:10,166 00:59:12,499 dedicated to Immi the Vegan. dedicated to Immi the Vegan.
957 00:59:14,352 00:59:18,624 The story so far is of a story just begun. The story so far is of a story just begun.
958 00:59:18,624 00:59:23,111 There was a battle inside me, but now it has been won, There was a battle inside me, but now it has been won,
959 00:59:23,111 00:59:25,174 and I wonder what will happen now, and I wonder what will happen now,
960 00:59:25,174 00:59:28,118 trekking forward into unknown territory. trekking forward into unknown territory.
961 00:59:28,118 00:59:31,868 A truce, a treaty, or perhaps something more, A truce, a treaty, or perhaps something more,
962 00:59:33,620 00:59:35,554 something more. something more.
963 00:59:35,554 00:59:38,221 (Sean clicking) (Sean clicking)
964 00:59:39,988 00:59:41,962 (audience clicking) (audience clicking)
965 00:59:41,962 00:59:43,228 - What are you all doing? - What are you all doing?
966 00:59:43,228 00:59:44,811 God, stop clicking. God, stop clicking.
967 00:59:47,183 00:59:48,126 How's this even a thing? How's this even a thing?
968 00:59:48,126 00:59:50,044 It doesn't even make sense. It doesn't even make sense.
969 00:59:50,044 00:59:54,028 Stop being such dicks and let him finish his poem. Stop being such dicks and let him finish his poem.
970 00:59:54,028 00:59:58,361 It's about me, after all, the whole story, about me, It's about me, after all, the whole story, about me,
971 01:00:01,678 01:00:05,516 even the parts in the library, which I never visited. even the parts in the library, which I never visited.
972 01:00:05,516 01:00:08,190 I hear there was a monster. I hear there was a monster.
973 01:00:08,190 01:00:10,349 It's probably in the poem. It's probably in the poem.
974 01:00:10,349 01:00:11,536 It's about me. It's about me.
975 01:00:11,536 01:00:14,286 (relaxing music) (relaxing music)
976 01:00:33,753 01:00:35,358 What are you still doing here? What are you still doing here?
977 01:00:35,358 01:00:36,191 It's over. It's over.
978 01:00:38,635 01:00:39,802 Close the app. Close the app.
979 01:00:40,781 01:00:43,644 We already had a post credit scene, remember? We already had a post credit scene, remember?
980 01:00:43,644 01:00:46,282 I looked at the camera, I smiled. I looked at the camera, I smiled.
981 01:00:46,282 01:00:47,699 That was the end. That was the end.
982 01:00:49,267 01:00:51,756 Oh, would you like some more? Oh, would you like some more?
983 01:00:51,756 01:00:54,879 I do have some pretty good stories about tofu. I do have some pretty good stories about tofu.
984 01:00:54,879 01:00:56,907 Come on, I'll tell you all about it. Come on, I'll tell you all about it.
985 01:00:56,907 01:00:59,657 Come on, come on, tofu, come on. Come on, come on, tofu, come on.