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1 00:00:16,100 00:00:17,350 (TURN UP THE RADIO PLAYING) (TURN UP THE RADIO PLAYING)
2 00:00:31,949 00:00:33,324 MAN: (SINGING) Turn it up! MAN: (SINGING) Turn it up!
3 00:00:54,638 00:00:58,141 Turn up the radio Turn up the radio
4 00:00:58,934 00:01:02,937 I need the music Give me some more I need the music Give me some more
5 00:01:03,897 00:01:05,565 NICK: Come on, Boots, you have three minutes left. NICK: Come on, Boots, you have three minutes left.
6 00:01:05,649 00:01:08,735 You can do this. You came to me, remember? You can do this. You came to me, remember?
7 00:01:08,819 00:01:10,987 It's not about losing weight. It's about a lifestyle change. It's not about losing weight. It's about a lifestyle change.
8 00:01:11,071 00:01:12,196 (CELL PHONE RINGING) (CELL PHONE RINGING)
9 00:01:12,281 00:01:13,322 (BARKING) (BARKING)
10 00:01:18,370 00:01:20,496 Nick, you have a customer. Nick, you have a customer.
11 00:01:21,290 00:01:22,623 Like we practiced. Like we practiced.
12 00:01:22,708 00:01:24,542 Right away, Terry. Right away, Terry.
13 00:01:27,713 00:01:29,172 'Sup, dawg? 'Sup, dawg?
14 00:01:30,674 00:01:32,633 Oh. Ha! Funny. Oh. Ha! Funny.
15 00:01:32,718 00:01:33,843 It's the name of the store. It's the name of the store.
16 00:01:34,011 00:01:35,136 What can I do for you, man? What can I do for you, man?
17 00:01:35,220 00:01:38,097 Bono has been doing this for three days. Bono has been doing this for three days.
18 00:01:38,348 00:01:39,348 (MOANING) (MOANING)
19 00:01:39,433 00:01:40,641 It's fucking disgusting. It's fucking disgusting.
20 00:01:40,726 00:01:41,726 Bring him up here. Bring him up here.
21 00:01:41,810 00:01:43,436 Bono, Bono, come. Bono, Bono, come.
22 00:01:43,520 00:01:44,520 Bono, up! Bono, up!
23 00:01:44,605 00:01:46,272 Don't yell at him like that. Don't yell at him like that.
24 00:01:46,690 00:01:48,649 Okay. Okay. Cool. You're gonna... Okay. Okay. Cool. You're gonna...
25 00:01:48,734 00:01:50,568 I might just look... I might just look...
26 00:01:53,030 00:01:54,071 (WHIMPERS) (WHIMPERS)
27 00:01:56,909 00:01:58,409 Do I know you? Do I know you?
28 00:01:58,535 00:01:59,744 I know you. I know you.
29 00:01:59,828 00:02:01,746 You're the singer from Chocolate Lipstick. You're the singer from Chocolate Lipstick.
30 00:02:01,830 00:02:03,539 You guys used to play at the Jam Shack on Friday nights. You guys used to play at the Jam Shack on Friday nights.
31 00:02:03,624 00:02:05,041 Damn! You remember that? Damn! You remember that?
32 00:02:05,125 00:02:06,209 You were so good. Yeah. You were so good. Yeah.
33 00:02:06,293 00:02:07,543 Oh, my God, you still singing? Oh, my God, you still singing?
34 00:02:07,628 00:02:10,129 Nah. That was a long time ago. Nah. That was a long time ago.
35 00:02:10,214 00:02:12,465 Wow! What are you doing now? Wow! What are you doing now?
36 00:02:13,884 00:02:16,260 You get shit out of dogs' asses. You get shit out of dogs' asses.
37 00:02:16,512 00:02:18,221 That's great. That's great.
38 00:02:18,555 00:02:20,181 You own a BMW? You own a BMW?
39 00:02:20,599 00:02:22,475 Yeah, can you tell? Yeah, can you tell?
40 00:02:24,978 00:02:26,354 (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
41 00:02:26,438 00:02:27,855 Good boy. Good boy.
42 00:02:28,899 00:02:30,691 (ON ANSWERING MACHINE) Adam, it's Lou. Don't hang up, okay? (ON ANSWERING MACHINE) Adam, it's Lou. Don't hang up, okay?
43 00:02:30,776 00:02:32,735 It's not about money. It's about making money. It's not about money. It's about making money.
44 00:02:32,820 00:02:34,403 You and me, buddy. You and me, buddy.
45 00:02:34,488 00:02:35,822 LILY: Hi, it's me. LILY: Hi, it's me.
46 00:02:35,906 00:02:38,825 So, I did everything according to your stupid fucking plan. So, I did everything according to your stupid fucking plan.
47 00:02:38,909 00:02:40,660 I took everything with the yellow stickers I took everything with the yellow stickers
48 00:02:40,744 00:02:43,871 and I left you everything with the red stickers. and I left you everything with the red stickers.
49 00:02:45,082 00:02:47,208 There was some stuff in your closet with no stickers, There was some stuff in your closet with no stickers,
50 00:02:47,292 00:02:49,669 so I threw that in a pile and burned it in the backyard. so I threw that in a pile and burned it in the backyard.
51 00:02:49,753 00:02:50,795 (LILY CHUCKLING) (LILY CHUCKLING)
52 00:02:50,879 00:02:52,672 Seemed like the right thing to do. Seemed like the right thing to do.
53 00:02:52,756 00:02:55,007 And thank you for claiming that empty plastic bottle. And thank you for claiming that empty plastic bottle.
54 00:02:55,092 00:02:57,802 I was prepared to fight you on that one. I was prepared to fight you on that one.
55 00:02:58,262 00:03:00,847 Anyway, I left you something on the counter. Anyway, I left you something on the counter.
56 00:03:00,931 00:03:03,599 It's from the heart. It's from the heart.
57 00:03:03,851 00:03:05,017 (ADAM SIGHS) (ADAM SIGHS)
58 00:03:05,936 00:03:08,646 Oh, and one last thing. Um... Oh, and one last thing. Um...
59 00:03:08,856 00:03:12,608 The TV had a red sticker on it, but I took it anyway. The TV had a red sticker on it, but I took it anyway.
60 00:03:13,068 00:03:14,235 (CHOKING) (CHOKING)
61 00:03:14,319 00:03:15,611 Bye. Bye.
62 00:03:16,363 00:03:18,447 JACOB: Just keeping my head down. JACOB: Just keeping my head down.
63 00:03:21,451 00:03:26,038 Not getting shivved today. Let's knock these reps out. Mmm! Mmm! Not getting shivved today. Let's knock these reps out. Mmm! Mmm!
64 00:03:30,043 00:03:32,962 Turn on a light, Jake. Open a window. Turn on a light, Jake. Open a window.
65 00:03:33,046 00:03:35,756 Go outdoors. Jesus Christ! Go outdoors. Jesus Christ!
66 00:03:35,841 00:03:37,466 Why don't you get out of the house this weekend, huh? Why don't you get out of the house this weekend, huh?
67 00:03:37,593 00:03:40,636 What should I do out of the house, Uncle Adam? What should I do out of the house, Uncle Adam?
68 00:03:40,971 00:03:43,055 I don't know. Anything that corresponds with reality. I don't know. Anything that corresponds with reality.
69 00:03:43,140 00:03:45,558 Apply for a job. Maybe try to go to college. Apply for a job. Maybe try to go to college.
70 00:03:45,642 00:03:47,268 I don't know. That all sounds kind of overrated. I don't know. That all sounds kind of overrated.
71 00:03:47,352 00:03:48,895 You don't like it, you can move back in with your mom. You don't like it, you can move back in with your mom.
72 00:03:48,979 00:03:51,022 No, I can't actually. She moved in with her new boyfriend. No, I can't actually. She moved in with her new boyfriend.
73 00:03:51,106 00:03:52,857 I will not be anywhere near that. I will not be anywhere near that.
74 00:03:52,941 00:03:54,025 She moved in with him? She moved in with him?
75 00:03:54,109 00:03:55,860 Yeah, the taxidermist. Yeah, the taxidermist.
76 00:03:56,778 00:03:58,863 The taxidermist is stuffing my mother. The taxidermist is stuffing my mother.
77 00:03:58,947 00:04:00,031 Ugh! Kelly. Ugh! Kelly.
78 00:04:00,115 00:04:02,450 She's your sister. You should call her once in a while. Check in. She's your sister. You should call her once in a while. Check in.
79 00:04:02,534 00:04:04,452 Well, maybe she should check in with me. Ever think of that? Well, maybe she should check in with me. Ever think of that?
80 00:04:04,536 00:04:05,870 JACOB: Yeah. That's interesting. JACOB: Yeah. That's interesting.
81 00:04:05,954 00:04:07,622 Listen, I've got a big court date in a few minutes. Listen, I've got a big court date in a few minutes.
82 00:04:07,706 00:04:09,582 If I miss it, I'm kind of screwed. Why do you waste your time If I miss it, I'm kind of screwed. Why do you waste your time
83 00:04:09,666 00:04:11,042 with that Second Life bullshit? with that Second Life bullshit?
84 00:04:11,126 00:04:13,294 Look at you, you're still in jail. You were in jail last week. Look at you, you're still in jail. You were in jail last week.
85 00:04:13,378 00:04:15,463 Yeah. I'm a prisoner. It's called "doing hard time." Yeah. I'm a prisoner. It's called "doing hard time."
86 00:04:15,547 00:04:17,131 Can't you be like a warrior or a shaman Can't you be like a warrior or a shaman
87 00:04:17,215 00:04:18,424 or an Orc or some shit like that? or an Orc or some shit like that?
88 00:04:18,508 00:04:20,593 No, no. In life, you make choices, No, no. In life, you make choices,
89 00:04:20,677 00:04:22,428 and if you screw up you have to pay for those choices. and if you screw up you have to pay for those choices.
90 00:04:22,512 00:04:24,847 You're 20 years old, you haven't made an important choice in your life. You're 20 years old, you haven't made an important choice in your life.
91 00:04:24,932 00:04:27,600 What are you mad about? What is this? What are you mad about? What is this?
92 00:04:28,894 00:04:30,937 I don't know if you noticed, but Lily moved out. I don't know if you noticed, but Lily moved out.
93 00:04:31,021 00:04:32,855 Is that what all the shuffling was? Is that what all the shuffling was?
94 00:04:32,940 00:04:34,023 Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
95 00:04:34,650 00:04:36,359 What did you do? What did you do?
96 00:04:37,945 00:04:39,820 I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything.
97 00:04:44,117 00:04:46,327 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO)
98 00:04:46,411 00:04:47,536 (TIRES SQUEALING) (TIRES SQUEALING)
99 00:04:55,545 00:04:57,296 (HOME SWEET HOME PLAYING) (HOME SWEET HOME PLAYING)
100 00:04:57,381 00:04:59,173 No fucking way! No fucking way!
101 00:05:05,222 00:05:08,265 (SINGING) You know I'm a dreamer (SINGING) You know I'm a dreamer
102 00:05:08,850 00:05:12,144 But my heart's of gold But my heart's of gold
103 00:05:12,229 00:05:15,356 I had to run away high I had to run away high
104 00:05:15,440 00:05:20,444 So I wouldn't come home low Just when things went... So I wouldn't come home low Just when things went...
105 00:05:25,534 00:05:29,203 ...song And you'll never be left all alone ...song And you'll never be left all alone
106 00:05:29,287 00:05:30,538 (ENGINE REVVING) (ENGINE REVVING)
107 00:05:30,706 00:05:36,585 I'm on my way I'm on my way
108 00:05:36,670 00:05:40,172 Home sweet home Home sweet home
109 00:05:41,049 00:05:46,012 Tonight, tonight I'm on my way Tonight, tonight I'm on my way
110 00:05:46,096 00:05:49,849 Home sweet home Home sweet home
111 00:05:50,058 00:05:52,685 MALE NARRATOR: (ON TV) Even among the gentle prairie squirrels, MALE NARRATOR: (ON TV) Even among the gentle prairie squirrels,
112 00:05:52,769 00:05:53,769 (CELL PHONE RINGING) (CELL PHONE RINGING)
113 00:05:53,854 00:05:56,397 The mate-less male is subjected to a humiliating ritual. The mate-less male is subjected to a humiliating ritual.
114 00:05:59,526 00:06:00,776 Hello. Hello.
115 00:06:01,778 00:06:02,987 What? What?
116 00:06:06,366 00:06:07,658 Fuck! Fuck!
117 00:06:11,079 00:06:12,496 NICK: Hey. Adam. NICK: Hey. Adam.
118 00:06:13,415 00:06:15,332 What's happening, man? Hey. What's happening, man? Hey.
119 00:06:15,417 00:06:16,792 You all right? You all right?
120 00:06:18,962 00:06:20,421 Hi, Courtney. Hey, how you doing? Hi, Courtney. Hey, how you doing?
121 00:06:20,505 00:06:22,173 Nice to see you. You, too. Nice to see you. You, too.
122 00:06:22,257 00:06:23,883 Yeah. Not here. Yeah. Not here.
123 00:06:23,967 00:06:25,384 Long time. Long time.
124 00:06:25,469 00:06:27,261 Yeah. You know... Yeah. You know...
125 00:06:27,971 00:06:29,805 Work's been crazy and... Work's been crazy and...
126 00:06:29,890 00:06:32,058 I know. I called a couple of times. I know. I called a couple of times.
127 00:06:32,142 00:06:33,225 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
128 00:06:33,977 00:06:35,436 Very, very busy. Very, very busy.
129 00:06:35,520 00:06:37,938 You think this is a real situation You think this is a real situation
130 00:06:38,023 00:06:40,691 or just one of his bullshit episodes? or just one of his bullshit episodes?
131 00:06:40,776 00:06:42,276 I don't know. I don't know.
132 00:06:42,486 00:06:43,694 You never know with Lou. You never know with Lou.
133 00:06:43,779 00:06:45,905 Well, hey, Adam, how's your girlfriend? Well, hey, Adam, how's your girlfriend?
134 00:06:45,989 00:06:47,573 Oh, really bad. Oh, really bad.
135 00:06:48,033 00:06:49,283 Okay. Okay.
136 00:06:51,661 00:06:52,870 Happy times. Happy times.
137 00:06:52,954 00:06:55,831 Hi, folks. I'm Dr. Jeff. Lou's resting. Hi, folks. I'm Dr. Jeff. Lou's resting.
138 00:06:55,916 00:06:58,918 He's denying that it was a suicide attempt and medically he's stable, He's denying that it was a suicide attempt and medically he's stable,
139 00:06:59,002 00:07:00,544 so legally we can't keep him here. so legally we can't keep him here.
140 00:07:00,629 00:07:02,922 But we do think that he should be monitored for a few days. But we do think that he should be monitored for a few days.
141 00:07:03,006 00:07:04,590 Does he have any family? Does he have any family?
142 00:07:04,674 00:07:06,175 Lou's family all kind of hate him. Lou's family all kind of hate him.
143 00:07:06,259 00:07:09,178 Okay. Well, then I guess it's up to you guys, his friends. Okay. Well, then I guess it's up to you guys, his friends.
144 00:07:09,262 00:07:11,347 You are his friends, right? You are his friends, right?
145 00:07:13,517 00:07:14,975 It's like that friend who's the asshole. It's like that friend who's the asshole.
146 00:07:15,060 00:07:16,685 But he's our asshole, you know? But he's our asshole, you know?
147 00:07:16,770 00:07:17,978 Right. Right.
148 00:07:18,355 00:07:19,522 Yeah. Yeah.
149 00:07:23,485 00:07:25,861 WOMAN: (ON PA) Dr. Jefferies to radiology. WOMAN: (ON PA) Dr. Jefferies to radiology.
150 00:07:26,446 00:07:28,739 (WHISPERING) Lou. Why would he do this? (WHISPERING) Lou. Why would he do this?
151 00:07:29,116 00:07:31,367 Why? I mean, make a list. Why? I mean, make a list.
152 00:07:31,451 00:07:33,410 He's an alcoholic, he's divorced. He's an alcoholic, he's divorced.
153 00:07:33,495 00:07:35,412 Wife ran off with that Jamaican guy. Wife ran off with that Jamaican guy.
154 00:07:35,497 00:07:38,374 He's failed at every jive-ass money hustle he's ever tried. He's failed at every jive-ass money hustle he's ever tried.
155 00:07:38,458 00:07:40,042 ADAM: He's in a mountain of debt. ADAM: He's in a mountain of debt.
156 00:07:40,127 00:07:41,168 NICK: He hates his mother. NICK: He hates his mother.
157 00:07:41,253 00:07:42,753 He hates himself. He hates everybody. He hates himself. He hates everybody.
158 00:07:42,838 00:07:44,088 He has erectile dysfunction. He has erectile dysfunction.
159 00:07:44,172 00:07:45,339 He's got halitosis. He's got halitosis.
160 00:07:45,423 00:07:46,924 He's got that runt ball. He's got that runt ball.
161 00:07:47,008 00:07:48,008 Huh. Huh.
162 00:07:48,093 00:07:50,553 He said one of his balls was shriveled up... He said one of his balls was shriveled up...
163 00:07:50,637 00:07:51,804 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
164 00:07:51,888 00:07:53,430 ...like a spoiled grape. ...like a spoiled grape.
165 00:07:53,515 00:07:55,891 Wasn't it that quarterback on the Bears Wasn't it that quarterback on the Bears
166 00:07:55,976 00:07:58,060 who had his ball crushed on the field. Right? who had his ball crushed on the field. Right?
167 00:07:58,145 00:07:59,645 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
168 00:07:59,729 00:08:02,481 Right, right. '82? Yeah, yeah. Right, right. '82? Yeah, yeah.
169 00:08:02,566 00:08:03,732 He came back from that, though. He came back from that, though.
170 00:08:03,817 00:08:04,859 Strong as ever. Strong as ever.
171 00:08:04,943 00:08:05,943 Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.
172 00:08:06,027 00:08:07,194 But I don't know about Lou. But I don't know about Lou.
173 00:08:07,279 00:08:08,821 It's just like... No. It's just like... No.
174 00:08:08,905 00:08:11,824 (SIGHS) It's just like an accumulation of punishment. (SIGHS) It's just like an accumulation of punishment.
175 00:08:11,908 00:08:12,908 Fuck you guys. Fuck you guys.
176 00:08:12,993 00:08:13,993 Oh! Hey! Oh! Hey!
177 00:08:14,077 00:08:15,995 There he is. Hey. There he is. Hey.
178 00:08:16,079 00:08:18,581 I can fucking hear everything you're saying, all right? I can fucking hear everything you're saying, all right?
179 00:08:18,665 00:08:21,083 Look who's awake. What's up, man? Look who's awake. What's up, man?
180 00:08:22,002 00:08:23,627 Hey. Hey, man. Hey. Hey, man.
181 00:08:23,920 00:08:24,920 What's up? What's up?
182 00:08:25,005 00:08:27,840 You look just like my friend Nick. You look just like my friend Nick.
183 00:08:28,550 00:08:30,009 And you look like my friend Adam. And you look like my friend Adam.
184 00:08:30,093 00:08:31,343 But you wouldn't be those guys because But you wouldn't be those guys because
185 00:08:31,428 00:08:32,595 I've been calling and calling them, I've been calling and calling them,
186 00:08:32,679 00:08:33,679 and they haven't returned my calls. and they haven't returned my calls.
187 00:08:33,763 00:08:35,431 So, listen, Violator. So, listen, Violator.
188 00:08:36,600 00:08:38,684 Me and Nick got a little surprise for you. Me and Nick got a little surprise for you.
189 00:08:38,768 00:08:41,520 Something special that the three of us can do. Something special that the three of us can do.
190 00:08:41,605 00:08:42,897 Come on. You guys. Come on. You guys.
191 00:08:43,023 00:08:44,273 ADAM: Are you curious? No! ADAM: Are you curious? No!
192 00:08:44,357 00:08:46,692 I didn't fucking try and kill myself. I didn't fucking try and kill myself.
193 00:08:46,776 00:08:49,486 If I wanted to kill myself, I'd fucking kill myself. If I wanted to kill myself, I'd fucking kill myself.
194 00:08:49,571 00:08:50,738 I'd be awesome at it. I'd be awesome at it.
195 00:08:50,822 00:08:52,531 A shotgun to the dick. A shotgun to the dick.
196 00:08:53,158 00:08:54,366 I'm glad you didn't do it. I'm glad you didn't do it.
197 00:08:54,451 00:08:56,869 It's good to see you guys, anyway. It's good to see you guys, anyway.
198 00:08:58,997 00:09:02,041 So, just out of curiosity, what's the surprise? So, just out of curiosity, what's the surprise?
199 00:09:02,125 00:09:03,667 Tell him. Tell him.
200 00:09:04,044 00:09:06,712 Ko-di-ak... Ko-di-ak...
201 00:09:07,339 00:09:08,380 ...Valley. ...Valley.
202 00:09:08,465 00:09:09,548 No fucking way! No fucking way!
203 00:09:09,633 00:09:10,633 NICK: Yes, sir. ADAM: Yeah. NICK: Yes, sir. ADAM: Yeah.
204 00:09:10,717 00:09:12,676 Fucking K-Vals? Holy shit! Fucking K-Vals? Holy shit!
205 00:09:12,761 00:09:14,136 Yes, sir. Bang! Yes, sir. Bang!
206 00:09:14,387 00:09:17,056 We fucking ski, right? We fucking rage. We fucking ski, right? We fucking rage.
207 00:09:17,140 00:09:18,349 Chimney Point at the end of the night Chimney Point at the end of the night
208 00:09:18,433 00:09:21,936 with a bottle of scotch to wash it all down. Oh! with a bottle of scotch to wash it all down. Oh!
209 00:09:22,354 00:09:24,813 And you guys are paying for the whole thing? And you guys are paying for the whole thing?
210 00:09:25,440 00:09:26,482 Sure. Yep. Sure. Yep.
211 00:09:26,566 00:09:27,566 Let's go tonight. Let's go tonight.
212 00:09:27,651 00:09:28,651 We go tomorrow. We go tomorrow.
213 00:09:28,735 00:09:29,735 Let's go now. Let's go now. Let's go now. Let's go now.
214 00:09:29,819 00:09:32,029 I just got to get rid of this thing. It's really uncomfortable. I just got to get rid of this thing. It's really uncomfortable.
215 00:09:32,113 00:09:33,280 You should wait for the nurse or something. You should wait for the nurse or something.
216 00:09:33,365 00:09:34,782 (GRUNTING) I got it. I got it. (GRUNTING) I got it. I got it.
217 00:09:34,866 00:09:35,866 Hold on, Lou. No, no, no, no. Hold on, Lou. No, no, no, no.
218 00:09:35,951 00:09:38,369 Let somebody do that for you. Let somebody do that for you.
219 00:09:38,828 00:09:39,870 (GRUNTING) (GRUNTING)
220 00:09:42,332 00:09:43,374 (EXCLAIMING) (EXCLAIMING)
221 00:09:46,836 00:09:48,379 Oh, shit. God. Oh, shit. God.
222 00:09:48,463 00:09:49,505 Did I get that on you? Did I get that on you?
223 00:09:49,589 00:09:50,798 Yes, you did. Damn it! Yes, you did. Damn it!
224 00:09:50,882 00:09:53,509 It's only pee. Relax, it's only pee. It's only pee. Relax, it's only pee.
225 00:09:58,431 00:09:59,431 There's Lou. There's Lou.
226 00:09:59,516 00:10:00,808 JACOB: Good, he's drinking already. JACOB: Good, he's drinking already.
227 00:10:00,892 00:10:02,351 Look at this shit. Look at this shit.
228 00:10:02,435 00:10:04,687 Do you remember when I was 12 and he tried to bite me? Do you remember when I was 12 and he tried to bite me?
229 00:10:04,771 00:10:07,356 Yeah, but he... You had that coming. Yeah, but he... You had that coming.
230 00:10:08,149 00:10:10,025 Hey, Violator. NICK: Lou. Hey, Violator. NICK: Lou.
231 00:10:10,110 00:10:12,027 What the fuck is he doing here? What the fuck is he doing here?
232 00:10:12,112 00:10:13,279 It's nice to see you, too, Lou. It's nice to see you, too, Lou.
233 00:10:13,363 00:10:16,031 (IN MOCKING TONE) "Nice to see you, too, Lou." Fuck you, Jacob. (IN MOCKING TONE) "Nice to see you, too, Lou." Fuck you, Jacob.
234 00:10:16,116 00:10:17,950 You suck and you know it. You suck and you know it.
235 00:10:18,034 00:10:20,286 You just ruined my fucking weekend. You just ruined my fucking weekend.
236 00:10:30,046 00:10:33,299 Hey, Lily will come back. Trust me. Hey, Lily will come back. Trust me.
237 00:10:33,800 00:10:35,467 No, she won't. LOU: No, she won't. No, she won't. LOU: No, she won't.
238 00:10:35,552 00:10:36,844 No, she won't. No, she won't. No, she won't. No, she won't.
239 00:10:36,928 00:10:38,679 She basically thinks I'm an asshole, you know? She basically thinks I'm an asshole, you know?
240 00:10:38,763 00:10:40,681 Like a completely self-absorbed, delusional... Like a completely self-absorbed, delusional...
241 00:10:40,765 00:10:42,433 She's got a point. ...narcissistic. She's got a point. ...narcissistic.
242 00:10:42,517 00:10:43,976 Fuck you. LOU: You're better off. Fuck you. LOU: You're better off.
243 00:10:44,060 00:10:46,228 Take my word for it. Look at me. Take my word for it. Look at me.
244 00:10:46,313 00:10:48,564 Fuck wives, man. Fuck kids. Fuck wives, man. Fuck kids.
245 00:10:48,648 00:10:50,983 Lock it down or they will take everything from you. Lock it down or they will take everything from you.
246 00:10:52,861 00:10:55,571 God damn it! Who the fuck are you texting with? God damn it! Who the fuck are you texting with?
247 00:10:55,655 00:10:56,739 Just a friend of mine. Just a friend of mine.
248 00:10:56,823 00:10:58,574 Male or fucking female? Male or fucking female?
249 00:10:58,658 00:11:01,618 For your information, I've had a lot of girlfriends. For your information, I've had a lot of girlfriends.
250 00:11:01,703 00:11:02,703 Hot ones. Hot ones.
251 00:11:02,787 00:11:05,456 You have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones. You have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones.
252 00:11:05,749 00:11:07,708 (LAUGHING) (LAUGHING)
253 00:11:09,878 00:11:11,837 Hey, hey, hey, check this out. Hey, hey, hey, check this out.
254 00:11:11,921 00:11:13,839 I brought a regulation bar for tubbing tonight. I brought a regulation bar for tubbing tonight.
255 00:11:13,923 00:11:14,965 ADAM: Nice. ADAM: Nice.
256 00:11:15,050 00:11:18,093 I've got vodka, fucking Tequilles O'Neals. I've got vodka, fucking Tequilles O'Neals.
257 00:11:18,970 00:11:21,221 You guys are gonna love this. Check this out. You guys are gonna love this. Check this out.
258 00:11:21,306 00:11:22,473 Chernobly. Chernobly.
259 00:11:22,557 00:11:23,932 It's like the Russian Red Bull. It's like the Russian Red Bull.
260 00:11:24,017 00:11:25,559 It's got shit in it that's not even legal here. It's got shit in it that's not even legal here.
261 00:11:25,643 00:11:27,061 Like what shit? Like what shit?
262 00:11:27,312 00:11:28,854 How the fuck am I supposed to know, dude? How the fuck am I supposed to know, dude?
263 00:11:28,938 00:11:30,606 But it's illegal. But it's illegal.
264 00:11:30,690 00:11:31,940 Hey, why didn't we just go to Pinnacle? Hey, why didn't we just go to Pinnacle?
265 00:11:32,025 00:11:33,567 It would have taken, like, half the time. It would have taken, like, half the time.
266 00:11:33,651 00:11:35,569 You wanna go to Kodiak Valley, trust me. You wanna go to Kodiak Valley, trust me.
267 00:11:35,653 00:11:36,904 You're at the right age for it. You're at the right age for it.
268 00:11:36,988 00:11:38,238 Really? Really?
269 00:11:38,323 00:11:41,241 Yeah. Nobody gets carded and everybody gets laid. Yeah. Nobody gets carded and everybody gets laid.
270 00:11:41,701 00:11:45,871 MEN: (CHANTING) K-Val! K-Val! K-Val! K-Val! K-Val! K-Val! MEN: (CHANTING) K-Val! K-Val! K-Val! K-Val! K-Val! K-Val!
271 00:11:45,955 00:11:47,664 Oh, shit! K-Val! Oh, shit! K-Val!
272 00:11:47,749 00:11:48,791 (ALL WHOOPING) (ALL WHOOPING)
273 00:11:53,004 00:11:55,422 This? This is the coolest town ever? This? This is the coolest town ever?
274 00:11:56,549 00:11:58,300 LOU: Fuck! That used to be Papa Enzo's. LOU: Fuck! That used to be Papa Enzo's.
275 00:11:59,844 00:12:02,096 I broke up with Jenny Stedmeyer there. I broke up with Jenny Stedmeyer there.
276 00:12:02,180 00:12:03,430 What made you break up with her, again? What made you break up with her, again?
277 00:12:03,515 00:12:05,974 I don't know. We swapped virginities junior year. I don't know. We swapped virginities junior year.
278 00:12:06,059 00:12:07,684 All we did was listen to records and have sex. All we did was listen to records and have sex.
279 00:12:07,769 00:12:10,396 And she was epic, I mean she was... She was epic. And she was epic, I mean she was... She was epic.
280 00:12:10,480 00:12:11,563 Yeah, man. She was hot. Yeah, man. She was hot.
281 00:12:11,648 00:12:13,482 And then when I broke up with her, she was so mad, And then when I broke up with her, she was so mad,
282 00:12:13,566 00:12:15,818 she practically stabbed me in the eye with a fork. she practically stabbed me in the eye with a fork.
283 00:12:15,902 00:12:17,945 Actually, she did stab me in the eye with a fork. Actually, she did stab me in the eye with a fork.
284 00:12:18,029 00:12:19,196 She was a one-percenter, man. She was a one-percenter, man.
285 00:12:19,280 00:12:20,280 Yeah. Yeah.
286 00:12:20,365 00:12:21,698 All downhill from there. All downhill from there.
287 00:12:22,325 00:12:24,952 That was a big one. First love. That was a big one. First love.
288 00:12:25,036 00:12:26,286 The one that got away. The one that got away.
289 00:12:26,371 00:12:28,330 MEN: The great white buffalo. MEN: The great white buffalo.
290 00:12:28,415 00:12:29,581 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
291 00:12:29,666 00:12:31,166 The great what? The great what?
292 00:12:31,251 00:12:33,043 BOTH: (WHISPERING) Great white buffalo. BOTH: (WHISPERING) Great white buffalo.
293 00:12:33,128 00:12:35,129 Why are you guys whispering? Why are you guys whispering?
294 00:12:35,213 00:12:37,131 BOTH: (WHISPERING) Great white buffalo. BOTH: (WHISPERING) Great white buffalo.
295 00:12:37,215 00:12:39,842 That was really helpful, you guys. Thank you. That was really helpful, you guys. Thank you.
296 00:12:46,975 00:12:48,642 JACOB: Look at this place. JACOB: Look at this place.
297 00:12:48,726 00:12:50,436 I'm gonna make a prediction right now. I'm gonna make a prediction right now.
298 00:12:50,520 00:12:52,146 One of us is gonna start writing a novel, One of us is gonna start writing a novel,
299 00:12:52,230 00:12:53,772 and then we all get snowed in, and then we all get snowed in,
300 00:12:53,857 00:12:56,358 and then Lou's gonna ax murder all of us. and then Lou's gonna ax murder all of us.
301 00:12:57,735 00:12:59,236 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) (INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
302 00:13:01,239 00:13:02,781 NICK: Motherfuck. NICK: Motherfuck.
303 00:13:02,866 00:13:04,408 What's that smell? What's that smell?
304 00:13:04,492 00:13:05,451 Fucking cats. Fucking cats.
305 00:13:05,535 00:13:06,577 (MEOWING) (MEOWING)
306 00:13:06,661 00:13:09,496 JACOB: Kind of a lot of cats. This sucks. JACOB: Kind of a lot of cats. This sucks.
307 00:13:09,706 00:13:10,873 MAN: Hi. Hi. MAN: Hi. Hi.
308 00:13:11,291 00:13:12,749 You got a reservation You got a reservation
309 00:13:12,834 00:13:14,585 (CLEARING THROAT) For Webber-Agnew? (CLEARING THROAT) For Webber-Agnew?
310 00:13:14,669 00:13:16,128 Sorry. What was that name again? Sorry. What was that name again?
311 00:13:16,212 00:13:18,755 Webber-Agnew. Webber and Agnew. Webber-Agnew. Webber and Agnew.
312 00:13:19,382 00:13:20,757 I got a "Nick Webber-Agnew." I got a "Nick Webber-Agnew."
313 00:13:20,842 00:13:23,469 I'm sorry, excuse me. What? What did you just say? I'm sorry, excuse me. What? What did you just say?
314 00:13:23,553 00:13:24,595 Webber-Agnew? Webber-Agnew?
315 00:13:24,679 00:13:26,889 Webber-fucking-Agnew? Webber-fucking-Agnew?
316 00:13:27,474 00:13:29,975 You took your wife's last name? You're a fucking hyphenate? You took your wife's last name? You're a fucking hyphenate?
317 00:13:30,059 00:13:32,227 A lot of dudes are doing it. It's progressive. A lot of dudes are doing it. It's progressive.
318 00:13:32,312 00:13:33,979 No. No dudes are doing it. No. No dudes are doing it.
319 00:13:34,063 00:13:35,731 You look like a progressive guy. Is that progressive? You look like a progressive guy. Is that progressive?
320 00:13:35,815 00:13:37,399 Would you do that? No. No. Would you do that? No. No.
321 00:13:37,484 00:13:39,026 And he has a goatee. And he has a goatee.
322 00:13:39,694 00:13:40,694 (BELL RINGS) (BELL RINGS)
323 00:13:41,196 00:13:42,362 (CART CREAKING) (CART CREAKING)
324 00:13:42,906 00:13:44,490 LOU: Does this guy seem a little imbalanced to you? LOU: Does this guy seem a little imbalanced to you?
325 00:13:44,574 00:13:45,574 NICK: No. Come on. NICK: No. Come on.
326 00:13:45,658 00:13:46,909 JACOB: He's right there. Shut up. JACOB: He's right there. Shut up.
327 00:13:48,870 00:13:50,370 Let me give you a hand with that. Let me give you a hand with that.
328 00:13:50,455 00:13:51,622 Hey! Hey!
329 00:13:51,706 00:13:54,416 I am not going to tell you again! I am not going to tell you again!
330 00:13:57,420 00:13:58,962 I can handle it. I can handle it.
331 00:13:59,714 00:14:01,173 LOU: This guy's a fucking dick. LOU: This guy's a fucking dick.
332 00:14:01,257 00:14:03,383 NICK: Shh. He's disabled. JACOB: He can hear you. NICK: Shh. He's disabled. JACOB: He can hear you.
333 00:14:03,468 00:14:05,594 So what? He's exempt from common fucking courtesy So what? He's exempt from common fucking courtesy
334 00:14:05,678 00:14:07,095 'cause he can't start a round of applause? 'cause he can't start a round of applause?
335 00:14:07,430 00:14:08,514 (DOORS CREAKING) (DOORS CREAKING)
336 00:14:08,598 00:14:10,098 He's gotta jerk off one-handed? He's gotta jerk off one-handed?
337 00:14:10,183 00:14:12,226 I mean, I certainly don't take my hands I mean, I certainly don't take my hands
338 00:14:12,310 00:14:13,977 and I put them together and oil them up... and I put them together and oil them up...
339 00:14:14,062 00:14:17,022 Hey, 420. Our old room. Check it out. Hey, 420. Our old room. Check it out.
340 00:14:18,775 00:14:19,983 NICK: That's okay man. Oh! Those are mine. NICK: That's okay man. Oh! Those are mine.
341 00:14:20,068 00:14:21,735 I'll just get those. I'll just get those.
342 00:14:28,660 00:14:32,621 This is the part where you tip the guy that helped you out. This is the part where you tip the guy that helped you out.
343 00:14:32,914 00:14:35,332 (LAUGHING) I'm not the guy that... (LAUGHING) I'm not the guy that...
344 00:14:35,416 00:14:36,583 Nick, pay the man something. Nick, pay the man something.
345 00:14:36,668 00:14:37,876 I got it. Don't worry. I got it. Don't worry.
346 00:14:37,961 00:14:39,127 ADAM: This place looks like shit! ADAM: This place looks like shit!
347 00:14:39,212 00:14:41,338 NICK: What happened to that guy? NICK: What happened to that guy?
348 00:14:41,839 00:14:44,508 Check this shit out. It's still there. Check this shit out. It's still there.
349 00:14:44,842 00:14:47,135 Adam sucks cocks 'n' dicks. Adam sucks cocks 'n' dicks.
350 00:14:47,804 00:14:49,346 ADAM: It's your best work. ADAM: It's your best work.
351 00:14:49,430 00:14:50,806 Fucking burned you. Fucking burned you.
352 00:14:51,766 00:14:52,724 Burned! Burned!
353 00:14:52,809 00:14:53,892 Hey, guys, come take a look at this. Hey, guys, come take a look at this.
354 00:14:53,977 00:14:55,894 We got a hot tub. We got a hot tub.
355 00:14:56,938 00:14:57,896 (ALL EXCLAIMING) (ALL EXCLAIMING)
356 00:14:57,981 00:14:59,773 NICK: Sweet Jesus! ADAM: Poor little fella. NICK: Sweet Jesus! ADAM: Poor little fella.
357 00:14:59,857 00:15:01,984 This is obviously unacceptable, right? This is obviously unacceptable, right?
358 00:15:02,068 00:15:04,820 We call downstairs, get somebody to fix this? We call downstairs, get somebody to fix this?
359 00:15:04,904 00:15:06,029 Is anybody else hungry? Is anybody else hungry?
360 00:15:08,616 00:15:10,492 A little school spirit this time, huh? A little school spirit this time, huh?
361 00:15:10,618 00:15:12,452 We're in, man. Just play it like you fucking mean it. We're in, man. Just play it like you fucking mean it.
362 00:15:12,537 00:15:14,371 Like that. Yeah. Like that. Yeah.
363 00:15:15,498 00:15:19,376 Yes, I would like to get a hooker to fuck me and my friends. Yes, I would like to get a hooker to fuck me and my friends.
364 00:15:20,128 00:15:22,296 What? Adam, I'm not doing that. What? Adam, I'm not doing that.
365 00:15:22,380 00:15:23,547 Whatever, semantics. Whatever, semantics.
366 00:15:23,631 00:15:27,593 I want an escort to escort our penises into her vagina. I want an escort to escort our penises into her vagina.
367 00:15:28,803 00:15:30,887 I want the girl in the picture, too. I want the girl in the picture, too.
368 00:15:30,972 00:15:33,265 No tomfoolery. Wake her up, I don't care. No tomfoolery. Wake her up, I don't care.
369 00:15:33,349 00:15:34,558 Will you listen to him? Will you listen to him?
370 00:15:34,642 00:15:35,809 Does she do four? Does she do four?
371 00:15:35,893 00:15:37,603 What about three? What about three?
372 00:15:37,687 00:15:39,271 Okay. Jacob, you're out. Okay. Good. Okay. Jacob, you're out. Okay. Good.
373 00:15:39,355 00:15:40,939 I need $3,000. I need $3,000.
374 00:15:41,024 00:15:42,024 I'm not in. I'm married. I'm not in. I'm married.
375 00:15:42,108 00:15:45,360 Adam, I need $2,000. Me and you, buddy. Come on. Adam, I need $2,000. Me and you, buddy. Come on.
376 00:15:45,445 00:15:46,570 I'm out there, Violator. I'm out there, Violator.
377 00:15:46,654 00:15:48,113 Can I call you back, sir? Can I call you back, sir?
378 00:15:48,197 00:15:50,282 Okay. Thank you. Bye. Sir? Okay. Thank you. Bye. Sir?
379 00:15:50,366 00:15:52,743 Let's do something fun. Let's create a memory, huh? Let's do something fun. Let's create a memory, huh?
380 00:15:52,827 00:15:55,412 Let's get some cocaine and break into a school. Let's get some cocaine and break into a school.
381 00:15:55,496 00:15:58,123 Or steal a cop car or some shit, huh? Or steal a cop car or some shit, huh?
382 00:15:58,207 00:15:59,791 Do you have Ritalin? No. Do you have Ritalin? No.
383 00:15:59,876 00:16:03,712 Don't fucking lie to me. Every one of you people have Ritalin. Don't fucking lie to me. Every one of you people have Ritalin.
384 00:16:03,796 00:16:04,838 No, I don't. No, I don't.
385 00:16:04,922 00:16:06,506 I'm sorry. You probably do have Ritalin. I'm sorry. You probably do have Ritalin.
386 00:16:06,591 00:16:07,924 I have some Ativan, but it's different. I have some Ativan, but it's different.
387 00:16:08,009 00:16:09,509 Let's stick it up our asses. ADAM: Just give it to him. Let's stick it up our asses. ADAM: Just give it to him.
388 00:16:09,594 00:16:11,011 No. It's not a suppository. No. It's not a suppository.
389 00:16:11,095 00:16:13,805 It doesn't matter. You crush it, you put it in a warm paper towel, It doesn't matter. You crush it, you put it in a warm paper towel,
390 00:16:13,890 00:16:16,475 run it under warm some water and you stick it right up your ass. That works. run it under warm some water and you stick it right up your ass. That works.
391 00:16:16,559 00:16:17,934 You put the paper towel up your ass, too? You put the paper towel up your ass, too?
392 00:16:18,061 00:16:19,394 LOU: You crush up the... Hey, I got an idea, LOU: You crush up the... Hey, I got an idea,
393 00:16:19,437 00:16:20,854 why don't we just play quarters? LOU: What? why don't we just play quarters? LOU: What?
394 00:16:20,938 00:16:23,649 I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do. I'm getting really sad. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do. I'm getting really sad.
395 00:16:23,733 00:16:25,150 You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about?
396 00:16:25,234 00:16:27,486 I'm gonna go to the bathroom and be alone with my own thoughts. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and be alone with my own thoughts.
397 00:16:27,570 00:16:28,987 Who knows what's gonna happen up there. Who knows what's gonna happen up there.
398 00:16:29,072 00:16:30,072 Who knows what's gonna happen. Who knows what's gonna happen.
399 00:16:30,156 00:16:31,698 You better plan something fun. You better plan something fun.
400 00:16:31,783 00:16:33,200 (SLAMS PHONE) (SLAMS PHONE)
401 00:16:33,826 00:16:35,160 Jesus! Jesus!
402 00:16:35,620 00:16:37,371 Pussies. I'm going dancing. Pussies. I'm going dancing.
403 00:16:37,455 00:16:39,790 I don't know, man. Maybe coming here was a bad idea. I don't know, man. Maybe coming here was a bad idea.
404 00:16:39,874 00:16:43,669 Yeah. If he kills himself, can we go home? Yeah. If he kills himself, can we go home?
405 00:16:43,753 00:16:45,087 Hard to believe this is the very room Hard to believe this is the very room
406 00:16:45,171 00:16:47,589 we had some of the best weekends of our lives. we had some of the best weekends of our lives.
407 00:16:47,674 00:16:50,050 Really? In this room right here? Really? In this room right here?
408 00:16:51,260 00:16:52,594 How? How?
409 00:16:52,679 00:16:55,889 We were young. We had momentum. We were winning. We were young. We had momentum. We were winning.
410 00:16:57,350 00:16:59,017 We were best friends. We were best friends.
411 00:16:59,102 00:17:00,519 What do you mean, "were" best friends? What do you mean, "were" best friends?
412 00:17:00,603 00:17:03,355 You know what I mean, man. Everybody seemed to care more. You know what I mean, man. Everybody seemed to care more.
413 00:17:03,439 00:17:05,857 Everything seemed to matter more back then. Everything seemed to matter more back then.
414 00:17:05,942 00:17:07,234 Whatever. Whatever.
415 00:17:18,287 00:17:20,664 LOU: Check it out. They must have fixed it. LOU: Check it out. They must have fixed it.
416 00:17:21,582 00:17:22,916 Come on! Come on!
417 00:17:23,751 00:17:25,544 How's the water, Violator? LOU: Oh, man. How's the water, Violator? LOU: Oh, man.
418 00:17:25,628 00:17:28,630 You guys gotta get in here. It's gonna fucking change you. You guys gotta get in here. It's gonna fucking change you.
419 00:17:28,715 00:17:30,257 Wait, why are you naked? Wait, why are you naked?
420 00:17:30,341 00:17:31,383 JACOB: You're all getting naked? JACOB: You're all getting naked?
421 00:17:31,467 00:17:32,676 Yep. Yep.
422 00:17:32,760 00:17:33,802 You don't think it's a little weird, You don't think it's a little weird,
423 00:17:33,886 00:17:35,053 a bunch of guys just piling up a bunch of guys just piling up
424 00:17:35,138 00:17:36,388 in a big bathtub together, naked? in a big bathtub together, naked?
425 00:17:36,472 00:17:38,765 LOU: Are you afraid that some of these people might see you? LOU: Are you afraid that some of these people might see you?
426 00:17:38,850 00:17:40,225 I'm sorry. If I'm being honest, I'm sorry. If I'm being honest,
427 00:17:40,309 00:17:43,603 I'm not totally comfortable being around a bunch of other naked dudes. I'm not totally comfortable being around a bunch of other naked dudes.
428 00:17:43,688 00:17:45,188 It's called male bonding, okay? It's called male bonding, okay?
429 00:17:45,273 00:17:47,524 Haven't you even seen Wild Hogs? Haven't you even seen Wild Hogs?
430 00:17:47,608 00:17:48,984 Fine, get us some snacks. Fine, get us some snacks.
431 00:17:49,068 00:17:50,694 You know what? Fuck it. You know what? Fuck it.
432 00:17:50,778 00:17:51,737 (ALL HUMMING) (ALL HUMMING)
433 00:17:51,821 00:17:53,530 I'm leaving my underwear on. I'm leaving my underwear on.
434 00:17:53,614 00:17:55,449 Yeah. Yeah. Very nice. Shut up! Yeah. Yeah. Very nice. Shut up!
435 00:17:56,075 00:17:57,200 (ALL CHEERING) (ALL CHEERING)
436 00:17:57,994 00:18:00,245 Damn, it's good to be here with you all again, man. Damn, it's good to be here with you all again, man.
437 00:18:00,371 00:18:02,289 It's good to be back here with you guys. Yep. It's good to be back here with you guys. Yep.
438 00:18:02,373 00:18:03,915 I want to toast to the good times. I want to toast to the good times.
439 00:18:04,000 00:18:06,960 And you, too, young blood. Come on in, here. And you, too, young blood. Come on in, here.
440 00:18:08,504 00:18:09,713 ALL: Yeah! ALL: Yeah!
441 00:18:09,797 00:18:11,131 (LOUDER THAN A BOMB PLAYING) (LOUDER THAN A BOMB PLAYING)
442 00:18:11,424 00:18:13,175 MAN: (SINGING) This style seems wild MAN: (SINGING) This style seems wild
443 00:18:13,259 00:18:15,093 Wait before you treat me like a stepchild Wait before you treat me like a stepchild
444 00:18:15,178 00:18:16,970 Let me tell you why they got me on file Let me tell you why they got me on file
445 00:18:17,054 00:18:18,430 'Cause I give you what you lack 'Cause I give you what you lack
446 00:18:18,514 00:18:21,433 Come right and exact I stand accused of doing harm Come right and exact I stand accused of doing harm
447 00:18:21,517 00:18:22,934 'Cause I'm louder than a bomb 'Cause I'm louder than a bomb
448 00:18:23,019 00:18:25,812 Come on Come on, louder Come on Come on, louder
449 00:18:25,897 00:18:27,272 Come on Come on Come on Come on
450 00:18:27,356 00:18:28,857 ADAM: Go, Violator! I'm gonna throw up. ADAM: Go, Violator! I'm gonna throw up.
451 00:18:28,941 00:18:30,942 ADAM: Snap out of it! Out the tub! Out the tub! ADAM: Snap out of it! Out the tub! Out the tub!
452 00:18:31,027 00:18:32,486 I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good.
453 00:18:33,696 00:18:37,199 I am a rock hard trooper To the bone, the bone, the bone I am a rock hard trooper To the bone, the bone, the bone
454 00:18:37,283 00:18:39,576 Full grown Consider me stone Full grown Consider me stone
455 00:18:39,660 00:18:41,953 Once again and I say it for you to know Once again and I say it for you to know
456 00:18:42,038 00:18:44,039 The troop is always ready I yell "Geronimo" The troop is always ready I yell "Geronimo"
457 00:18:44,123 00:18:46,166 Your CIA, you see I ain't kiddin' Your CIA, you see I ain't kiddin'
458 00:18:46,250 00:18:48,293 Both King and X They got rid of both Both King and X They got rid of both
459 00:18:48,377 00:18:50,003 (LAUGHING) (LAUGHING)
460 00:18:51,506 00:18:53,715 And not the braggin' or boastin' and plus And not the braggin' or boastin' and plus
461 00:18:53,800 00:18:55,342 It ain't no secret why they're tappin' my phone It ain't no secret why they're tappin' my phone
462 00:18:55,426 00:18:57,135 Although I can't keep it a secret Although I can't keep it a secret
463 00:18:57,220 00:18:58,887 So I decided to kick it, yo So I decided to kick it, yo
464 00:18:58,971 00:19:00,096 And yes it weighs a ton And yes it weighs a ton
465 00:19:00,181 00:19:01,139 I say it once again I say it once again
466 00:19:01,224 00:19:03,099 Tappin' my phone They never leave me alone Tappin' my phone They never leave me alone
467 00:19:03,184 00:19:04,267 (YELLING) (YELLING)
468 00:19:04,560 00:19:06,561 'Cause I'm louder than a bomb 'Cause I'm louder than a bomb
469 00:19:23,871 00:19:25,747 Hey, little buddy. Hey, little buddy.
470 00:19:26,874 00:19:28,083 (ADAM SHUSHING) (ADAM SHUSHING)
471 00:19:34,674 00:19:35,799 Dude. Dude.
472 00:19:38,553 00:19:40,637 Where did the squirrel go? Where did the squirrel go?
473 00:19:42,181 00:19:44,015 LOU: Yeah. Yeah! LOU: Yeah. Yeah!
474 00:19:44,600 00:19:45,934 This is the black diamond? Shit. This is the black diamond? Shit.
475 00:19:45,977 00:19:47,227 Terrifying. That's all you got? Terrifying. That's all you got?
476 00:19:47,353 00:19:49,187 NICK: I don't remember this. ADAM: What do you think, boys? NICK: I don't remember this. ADAM: What do you think, boys?
477 00:19:49,313 00:19:50,355 Tips down. Tips down.
478 00:19:50,439 00:19:52,440 Tips fucking down, right away. Tips fucking down, right away.
479 00:19:52,567 00:19:53,900 Let's ride. Let's ride.
480 00:19:55,820 00:19:56,987 (ALL EXCLAIMING) (ALL EXCLAIMING)
481 00:20:06,414 00:20:08,290 I feel 19 again! I feel 19 again!
482 00:20:11,961 00:20:13,587 What is that? What is that?
483 00:20:14,088 00:20:15,213 Stop it, Lou. Stop it, Lou.
484 00:20:15,298 00:20:16,882 (IN MOCKING TONE) Stop it, Lou! (IN MOCKING TONE) Stop it, Lou!
485 00:20:19,218 00:20:20,302 Whoo! Whoo!
486 00:20:22,305 00:20:23,263 Coming through! Coming through!
487 00:20:23,347 00:20:24,890 You goddamn kids! You goddamn kids!
488 00:20:29,896 00:20:31,104 Slow down! Hey! Slow down! Hey!
489 00:20:31,188 00:20:33,523 Yard sale, bitches! Yard sale, bitches!
490 00:20:38,195 00:20:39,321 (ALL GRUNTING) (ALL GRUNTING)
491 00:20:44,827 00:20:45,994 (ALL SCREAMING) (ALL SCREAMING)
492 00:20:54,670 00:20:55,837 (ALL GROANING) (ALL GROANING)
493 00:20:56,297 00:20:57,464 NICK: Fuck! NICK: Fuck!
494 00:21:00,676 00:21:01,760 We dead. We dead.
495 00:21:01,844 00:21:04,429 Are you guys alive? Holy fuck. Are you guys alive? Holy fuck.
496 00:21:05,014 00:21:08,975 By all counts we should be pretty fucked up right now, but I... By all counts we should be pretty fucked up right now, but I...
497 00:21:09,352 00:21:10,435 I kind of feel great. I kind of feel great.
498 00:21:10,519 00:21:11,895 I feel crazy right now. I feel crazy right now.
499 00:21:11,979 00:21:13,563 I feel fantastic! I feel fantastic!
500 00:21:13,648 00:21:16,316 I wanna fuck something! I wanna fuck something!
501 00:21:16,943 00:21:18,109 (ECHOING) (ECHOING)
502 00:21:20,321 00:21:21,613 There they are. There they are.
503 00:21:21,697 00:21:23,114 I see it, Chaz. Thanks. I see it, Chaz. Thanks.
504 00:21:23,199 00:21:24,616 (ALL WHOOPING) (ALL WHOOPING)
505 00:21:24,700 00:21:26,743 What is that one plank thing that guy's got? What is that one plank thing that guy's got?
506 00:21:26,827 00:21:29,496 I don't care. It's going up his ass. I don't care. It's going up his ass.
507 00:21:31,749 00:21:33,667 NICK: Way to go, rookie! NICK: Way to go, rookie!
508 00:21:34,335 00:21:35,794 Wow! Nice. Wow! Nice.
509 00:21:36,379 00:21:37,921 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa... Whoa! Whoa! Whoa...
510 00:21:39,882 00:21:42,717 Those are the kind of ski shenanigans I don't allow on my mountain. Those are the kind of ski shenanigans I don't allow on my mountain.
511 00:21:42,802 00:21:44,719 CHAZ: Yeah. Come on, guys. CHAZ: Yeah. Come on, guys.
512 00:21:45,513 00:21:47,055 What are you looking at, Nancy? What are you looking at, Nancy?
513 00:21:47,139 00:21:48,723 No. I mean... No. I mean...
514 00:21:49,558 00:21:53,228 JACOB: Hey, look, it's the douche bag from Karate Kid III. JACOB: Hey, look, it's the douche bag from Karate Kid III.
515 00:21:57,108 00:21:58,775 (MUTTERS) I know that guy. (MUTTERS) I know that guy.
516 00:22:21,132 00:22:22,215 Hey, guys. Hey, guys.
517 00:22:22,299 00:22:24,884 Is there some kind of weird retro thing going on this weekend? Is there some kind of weird retro thing going on this weekend?
518 00:22:24,969 00:22:26,261 Can't get any bars. Can't get any bars.
519 00:22:26,345 00:22:28,763 Morty! Yeah, it's Chuck. Morty! Yeah, it's Chuck.
520 00:22:28,848 00:22:31,016 You're never gonna believe where I'm calling you from, man. You're never gonna believe where I'm calling you from, man.
521 00:22:31,100 00:22:34,269 I'm on a mountain on my phone! Yeah. I'm on a mountain on my phone! Yeah.
522 00:22:35,062 00:22:37,981 Yeah, well, a bet's a bet. I want my $2. Yeah, well, a bet's a bet. I want my $2.
523 00:22:43,404 00:22:45,822 I'm telling you, something weird is going on. I'm telling you, something weird is going on.
524 00:22:45,906 00:22:47,907 DAVID BOWIE: (ON TV) Demand your MTV. DAVID BOWIE: (ON TV) Demand your MTV.
525 00:22:48,701 00:22:50,869 I want my MTV. I want my MTV.
526 00:22:51,203 00:22:52,662 (THE SAFETY DANCE PLAYING) (THE SAFETY DANCE PLAYING)
527 00:22:52,747 00:22:58,710 MAN: (SINGING) S-A-F-E-T-Y MAN: (SINGING) S-A-F-E-T-Y
528 00:22:58,961 00:23:01,629 Safe, dance! Safe, dance!
529 00:23:06,343 00:23:08,136 I love your hair. I love your hair.
530 00:23:10,264 00:23:11,765 I have a question. I have a question.
531 00:23:11,849 00:23:13,933 ...can still tell me that's true. ...can still tell me that's true.
532 00:23:14,018 00:23:17,353 But the facts and the evidence tell me it is... But the facts and the evidence tell me it is...
533 00:23:18,064 00:23:19,439 (VOICES DISTORTING) (VOICES DISTORTING)
534 00:23:27,198 00:23:28,740 Dude is rocking a cassette player. Dude is rocking a cassette player.
535 00:23:28,824 00:23:30,700 Just relax. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation Just relax. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation
536 00:23:30,826 00:23:32,118 for all this shit. Don't fucking tell me to relax. for all this shit. Don't fucking tell me to relax.
537 00:23:32,203 00:23:33,536 I said relax for a minute. I said relax for a minute.
538 00:23:33,621 00:23:35,038 Leg warmers? Leg warmers?
539 00:23:35,289 00:23:36,664 Jheri curl? Jheri curl?
540 00:23:36,749 00:23:38,124 "Where's the beef?" "Where's the beef?"
541 00:23:38,209 00:23:41,336 Excuse me, miss, what color is Michael Jackson? Excuse me, miss, what color is Michael Jackson?
542 00:23:42,004 00:23:43,254 Black. Black.
543 00:23:43,339 00:23:44,506 (SCREAMING) (SCREAMING)
544 00:23:48,219 00:23:50,720 JACOB: Hold on! Sorry. Excuse me. Sorry. JACOB: Hold on! Sorry. Excuse me. Sorry.
545 00:23:52,389 00:23:53,389 Nick, come on, man! Nick! Nick! Nick, come on, man! Nick! Nick!
546 00:23:53,474 00:23:54,474 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) (KNOCKING AT DOOR)
547 00:23:54,558 00:23:55,642 NICK: Who the fuck is that? NICK: Who the fuck is that?
548 00:23:55,726 00:23:56,976 That's probably Ashton Kolchak right now That's probably Ashton Kolchak right now
549 00:23:57,061 00:23:59,145 telling us we've been punked or whatever. telling us we've been punked or whatever.
550 00:23:59,230 00:24:01,022 Okay. Come on. Come on. Okay. Come on. Come on.
551 00:24:05,319 00:24:07,779 Hey. Hey, guys. I've got your luggage. Hey. Hey, guys. I've got your luggage.
552 00:24:08,322 00:24:10,532 He's got both arms. Get him! He's got both arms. Get him!
553 00:24:10,866 00:24:11,991 (ALL YELLING) (ALL YELLING)
554 00:24:14,578 00:24:16,454 What? JACOB: Check his arm. What? JACOB: Check his arm.
555 00:24:16,539 00:24:18,581 Are you raping? Wait! Hold on! Are we raping him? Are you raping? Wait! Hold on! Are we raping him?
556 00:24:18,666 00:24:19,833 Nobody's raping anybody! Nobody's raping anybody!
557 00:24:19,917 00:24:21,626 Where's your missing arm, motherfucker? Where's your missing arm, motherfucker?
558 00:24:21,710 00:24:24,003 Hey! God! That's my arm! Hey! God! That's my arm!
559 00:24:24,088 00:24:25,588 NICK: It's fake! It's real! NICK: It's fake! It's real!
560 00:24:25,673 00:24:28,174 It's got freckles on it and shit! It's got freckles on it and shit!
561 00:24:36,934 00:24:38,810 Do I really got to be the asshole that says Do I really got to be the asshole that says
562 00:24:38,894 00:24:41,396 we got in this thing and went back in time? we got in this thing and went back in time?
563 00:24:41,480 00:24:44,732 It must be some kind of hot tub time machine. It must be some kind of hot tub time machine.
564 00:24:47,736 00:24:49,195 Wow, my old stuff. Wow, my old stuff.
565 00:24:49,280 00:24:50,655 Look at this shit, man. Look at this shit, man.
566 00:24:50,739 00:24:51,823 You have a bong? You have a bong?
567 00:24:51,907 00:24:52,991 I did. I did.
568 00:24:53,075 00:24:55,326 "Eddie Lives." This shirt got me so much fucking pussy. "Eddie Lives." This shirt got me so much fucking pussy.
569 00:24:55,411 00:24:56,578 NICK: You wanna see what got a lot of pussy? NICK: You wanna see what got a lot of pussy?
570 00:24:56,662 00:24:57,745 JACOB: What's the tape recorder for? JACOB: What's the tape recorder for?
571 00:24:57,830 00:24:58,955 ADAM: Recording tape. I gotta take a piss. ADAM: Recording tape. I gotta take a piss.
572 00:24:59,081 00:25:00,498 This jacket right here, baby. Holy fuck! This jacket right here, baby. Holy fuck!
573 00:25:00,583 00:25:01,875 JACOB: What are you, Hunter S. Thompson? JACOB: What are you, Hunter S. Thompson?
574 00:25:01,959 00:25:03,960 ADAM: I thought I was. JACOB: Is that coke? ADAM: I thought I was. JACOB: Is that coke?
575 00:25:04,044 00:25:05,962 NICK: What the fuck you think it is? Baby powder? NICK: What the fuck you think it is? Baby powder?
576 00:25:06,046 00:25:07,130 JACOB: Wait. How is this happening? JACOB: Wait. How is this happening?
577 00:25:07,214 00:25:10,175 Can we talk about this for a minute? Can we talk about this for a minute?
578 00:25:14,096 00:25:17,473 Holy fuck! Winterfest '86. We were here, man. Holy fuck! Winterfest '86. We were here, man.
579 00:25:17,558 00:25:18,933 Guys. ADAM: We are here. Guys. ADAM: We are here.
580 00:25:19,018 00:25:20,101 What if we run into ourselves? What if we run into ourselves?
581 00:25:20,186 00:25:21,227 Guys! Guys!
582 00:25:21,312 00:25:24,522 We see ourselves and we blow up and explode or some shit. We see ourselves and we blow up and explode or some shit.
583 00:25:24,607 00:25:25,690 LOU: Get in here! LOU: Get in here!
584 00:25:25,774 00:25:26,941 Didn't you all fucking see Timecop? Didn't you all fucking see Timecop?
585 00:25:27,026 00:25:28,943 God damn it! Get the fuck in here right now! God damn it! Get the fuck in here right now!
586 00:25:29,028 00:25:30,904 Nobody wants to see your giant shit, Lou. Nobody wants to see your giant shit, Lou.
587 00:25:30,988 00:25:32,447 ADAM: What, man? ADAM: What, man?
588 00:25:43,876 00:25:46,419 Yeah, we're not gonna run into ourselves. Yeah, we're not gonna run into ourselves.
589 00:25:46,503 00:25:47,629 We are ourselves. We are ourselves.
590 00:25:47,713 00:25:50,340 Why are we in our young bodies and you in your regular body? Why are we in our young bodies and you in your regular body?
591 00:25:50,424 00:25:51,382 I don't know. I don't know.
592 00:25:51,467 00:25:52,634 Shouldn't you be invisible? Shouldn't you be invisible?
593 00:25:52,718 00:25:54,302 Or swimming around some guy's ball sack? Or swimming around some guy's ball sack?
594 00:25:54,386 00:25:57,555 I know. Because you guys exist here and I don't. I know. Because you guys exist here and I don't.
595 00:25:58,724 00:26:00,725 Hey, why are you flickering? Hey, why are you flickering?
596 00:26:00,809 00:26:02,227 What? What? What? Who flickered? What? What? What? Who flickered?
597 00:26:02,311 00:26:04,103 He did. He's flickering. He did. He's flickering.
598 00:26:04,188 00:26:05,563 I need you to touch my arm or something I need you to touch my arm or something
599 00:26:05,648 00:26:06,731 to see if I'm still real, okay? to see if I'm still real, okay?
600 00:26:06,815 00:26:09,817 Just see if you can put your hand through me. Just see if you can put your hand through me.
601 00:26:10,444 00:26:11,486 (EXCLAIMS) (EXCLAIMS)
602 00:26:12,363 00:26:13,529 Okay. Okay.
603 00:26:13,948 00:26:15,198 That's good. That's good.
604 00:26:15,282 00:26:19,035 I'm physically still here. That's good, I think. I'm physically still here. That's good, I think.
605 00:26:20,746 00:26:22,330 You look like Kid 'N Play. You look like Kid 'N Play.
606 00:26:22,414 00:26:24,540 That's actually two people. That's actually two people.
607 00:26:27,169 00:26:28,878 ADAM: I knew this trip was a bad idea. ADAM: I knew this trip was a bad idea.
608 00:26:28,963 00:26:31,422 Every time I hang out with you, man, it's some kind of shit storm. Every time I hang out with you, man, it's some kind of shit storm.
609 00:26:31,507 00:26:33,049 I got guilted into coming on this trip I got guilted into coming on this trip
610 00:26:33,133 00:26:34,592 and now I'm back in the fucking '80s. and now I'm back in the fucking '80s.
611 00:26:34,677 00:26:35,760 And I hate this decade! And I hate this decade!
612 00:26:35,844 00:26:37,262 Maybe it's your fucking fault! Maybe it's your fucking fault!
613 00:26:37,346 00:26:40,014 You're a fucking insurance salesman, you're practically the devil. You're a fucking insurance salesman, you're practically the devil.
614 00:26:40,099 00:26:42,308 Guys! This is scientifically possible. Guys! This is scientifically possible.
615 00:26:42,393 00:26:45,853 Oh, my God. Okay, Professor Hawking, tell me in your robot voice Oh, my God. Okay, Professor Hawking, tell me in your robot voice
616 00:26:45,938 00:26:47,605 how this is scientifically possible. how this is scientifically possible.
617 00:26:47,690 00:26:49,399 All right, I write Stargate fan fiction, All right, I write Stargate fan fiction,
618 00:26:49,483 00:26:51,317 so I think I know what I'm talking about right now. so I think I know what I'm talking about right now.
619 00:26:51,402 00:26:53,987 I seriously almost passed out, you're such a dork. I seriously almost passed out, you're such a dork.
620 00:26:54,071 00:26:56,739 Okay. The tub is obviously some kind of energy vortex, right? Okay. The tub is obviously some kind of energy vortex, right?
621 00:26:56,824 00:26:57,865 Like a black hole. Like a black hole.
622 00:26:57,950 00:27:00,034 But, instead of being in space, But, instead of being in space,
623 00:27:01,078 00:27:02,745 it's in a hot tub. it's in a hot tub.
624 00:27:02,830 00:27:05,748 Time is not linear, we just perceive it that way! Time is not linear, we just perceive it that way!
625 00:27:05,874 00:27:07,583 What? (YELLS) Like The Terminator! What? (YELLS) Like The Terminator!
626 00:27:07,668 00:27:09,627 It's cyclical, right? It's cyclical, right?
627 00:27:09,712 00:27:12,338 The machines send Schwarzenegger back to kill Sarah Connor The machines send Schwarzenegger back to kill Sarah Connor
628 00:27:12,423 00:27:14,299 so that John Connor could never be born. so that John Connor could never be born.
629 00:27:14,383 00:27:17,218 But if John Connor don't send Michael Biehn back to protect her, But if John Connor don't send Michael Biehn back to protect her,
630 00:27:17,303 00:27:21,556 then they never fuck, and John Connor ain't born in the first place! then they never fuck, and John Connor ain't born in the first place!
631 00:27:22,057 00:27:23,641 It checks out. Yeah, that's pretty good. It checks out. Yeah, that's pretty good.
632 00:27:23,726 00:27:26,311 Wait, wait, check the fucking drawer. See if the carving's there. Wait, wait, check the fucking drawer. See if the carving's there.
633 00:27:26,395 00:27:28,563 Check the fucking drawer. Check the fucking drawer.
634 00:27:29,481 00:27:30,898 ADAM: Fuck! ADAM: Fuck!
635 00:27:33,193 00:27:34,193 It's gone. It's gone.
636 00:27:34,278 00:27:35,320 (SIGHING) (SIGHING)
637 00:27:35,404 00:27:36,446 This shit is real. This shit is real.
638 00:27:36,530 00:27:38,740 The carving you made 20 years ago, The carving you made 20 years ago,
639 00:27:38,824 00:27:40,742 about me sucking cocks and dicks, about me sucking cocks and dicks,
640 00:27:41,910 00:27:43,911 it's not there. Wait. it's not there. Wait.
641 00:27:44,538 00:27:45,705 Is "cocks" still there? Is "cocks" still there?
642 00:27:45,789 00:27:47,248 Nothing. I mean, it's not there. Nothing. I mean, it's not there.
643 00:27:47,333 00:27:48,416 What about "dicks"? What about "dicks"?
644 00:27:48,500 00:27:51,127 Neither "cocks," nor "dicks," nor "sucks." Neither "cocks," nor "dicks," nor "sucks."
645 00:27:51,211 00:27:52,754 Oh, God! Oh, God!
646 00:27:53,255 00:27:56,632 That's it. We stuck in the fucking '80s! That's it. We stuck in the fucking '80s!
647 00:27:57,176 00:27:59,552 How am I supposed to get a job? How am I supposed to get a job?
648 00:28:00,095 00:28:01,721 I'm so scared. I'm so scared.
649 00:28:02,222 00:28:03,389 (EXCLAIMS) (EXCLAIMS)
650 00:28:03,474 00:28:05,183 Looks like you burned out your... Looks like you burned out your...
651 00:28:05,267 00:28:08,019 Heck, you fried your timing crossover. Heck, you fried your timing crossover.
652 00:28:09,855 00:28:11,064 Would you mind putting that down, sir, Would you mind putting that down, sir,
653 00:28:11,148 00:28:14,275 that coal shovel, before somebody gets hurt? that coal shovel, before somebody gets hurt?
654 00:28:15,319 00:28:16,819 Did somebody call you? Did somebody call you?
655 00:28:16,904 00:28:18,362 Excuse me one minute. Excuse me one minute.
656 00:28:18,447 00:28:19,447 (FARTS) (FARTS)
657 00:28:23,827 00:28:25,495 Who ever calls us? Who ever calls us?
658 00:28:25,579 00:28:26,579 (LAUGHING) (LAUGHING)
659 00:28:26,663 00:28:29,582 And who answers when the call comes from within? Huh? And who answers when the call comes from within? Huh?
660 00:28:31,126 00:28:35,505 I thought maybe I could pull the part from one of the other tubs. I thought maybe I could pull the part from one of the other tubs.
661 00:28:35,589 00:28:39,050 But it turns out this is a very special model that you have here. But it turns out this is a very special model that you have here.
662 00:28:39,134 00:28:41,427 You've got to be very careful, I tell you. You've got to be very careful, I tell you.
663 00:28:41,512 00:28:46,265 One little thing is changed, the whole system can go haywire. One little thing is changed, the whole system can go haywire.
664 00:28:46,350 00:28:48,309 Do you understand what I'm saying? Do you understand what I'm saying?
665 00:28:48,393 00:28:50,520 The whole system can go haywire The whole system can go haywire
666 00:28:50,604 00:28:52,855 if you change one little thing. if you change one little thing.
667 00:28:53,273 00:28:56,192 Wait a minute. We need that to get back in time? Wait a minute. We need that to get back in time?
668 00:28:56,276 00:28:57,318 Well, you're back here. Well, you're back here.
669 00:28:57,402 00:29:01,114 I mean, I can tell you've all been to Kodiak Valley before. I mean, I can tell you've all been to Kodiak Valley before.
670 00:29:01,198 00:29:02,657 I haven't. Maybe not her, I haven't. Maybe not her,
671 00:29:02,741 00:29:05,243 but I know that you were here. but I know that you were here.
672 00:29:05,327 00:29:07,870 You know what's going on here, don't you, old man? You know what's going on here, don't you, old man?
673 00:29:07,955 00:29:09,163 Yes, I do. Yes, I do.
674 00:29:09,248 00:29:12,083 Your tub is on the fritz. It'd behoove you to fix it. Your tub is on the fritz. It'd behoove you to fix it.
675 00:29:12,167 00:29:13,209 (HOT TUB STARTING UP) (HOT TUB STARTING UP)
676 00:29:13,293 00:29:14,502 What? What?
677 00:29:14,628 00:29:16,170 It's working. It's working.
678 00:29:19,675 00:29:21,551 NICK: Damn. I think it's still broke. NICK: Damn. I think it's still broke.
679 00:29:21,635 00:29:22,718 Shit. Shit.
680 00:29:24,221 00:29:25,263 JACOB: Where'd he go? JACOB: Where'd he go?
681 00:29:25,347 00:29:27,140 That motherfucker's in on it, man. That motherfucker's in on it, man.
682 00:29:27,224 00:29:28,891 What was all that cryptic shit he was saying What was all that cryptic shit he was saying
683 00:29:28,976 00:29:30,101 about not changing one little thing? about not changing one little thing?
684 00:29:30,185 00:29:32,603 I know exactly what he meant. He was talking about the butterfly effect. I know exactly what he meant. He was talking about the butterfly effect.
685 00:29:32,688 00:29:34,105 That was a great fucking movie. That was a great fucking movie.
686 00:29:34,189 00:29:36,649 One little change has a ripple effect One little change has a ripple effect
687 00:29:36,733 00:29:38,109 and it affects everything else. and it affects everything else.
688 00:29:38,193 00:29:40,111 Like, a butterfly floats its wings Like, a butterfly floats its wings
689 00:29:40,195 00:29:43,781 and Tokyo explodes, or there's a tsunami in, like, somewhere. and Tokyo explodes, or there's a tsunami in, like, somewhere.
690 00:29:43,866 00:29:45,867 Dude, yes, exactly. Or you step on a bug Dude, yes, exactly. Or you step on a bug
691 00:29:45,951 00:29:47,910 and the fucking Internet's never invented. and the fucking Internet's never invented.
692 00:29:47,995 00:29:50,454 Then you have to talk to girls with your mouth. Then you have to talk to girls with your mouth.
693 00:29:50,539 00:29:52,957 Yeah. I was more concerned about bigger consequences, Yeah. I was more concerned about bigger consequences,
694 00:29:53,041 00:29:54,292 like me not being born. like me not being born.
695 00:29:54,376 00:29:55,793 Oh, yeah. No, I don't care about that. Oh, yeah. No, I don't care about that.
696 00:29:55,878 00:29:58,296 The point is, what did we do 20 years ago? The point is, what did we do 20 years ago?
697 00:29:58,380 00:29:59,630 Let's figure it out right now. Let's figure it out right now.
698 00:29:59,715 00:30:02,508 We gotta do the exact same thing. We gotta do the exact same thing.
699 00:30:02,593 00:30:04,302 I had that gig. That's right. I had that gig. That's right.
700 00:30:04,386 00:30:07,555 You got up on stage and you were wildly mediocre. You got up on stage and you were wildly mediocre.
701 00:30:07,639 00:30:08,973 And that led to nothing of a career. And that led to nothing of a career.
702 00:30:09,057 00:30:11,601 Okay, first of all, fuck you, motherfucker! Okay, first of all, fuck you, motherfucker!
703 00:30:11,685 00:30:14,812 I could have had a career, but I got married and I went a different way. I could have had a career, but I got married and I went a different way.
704 00:30:14,938 00:30:16,314 Which way is that? The way that sucked? Which way is that? The way that sucked?
705 00:30:16,398 00:30:17,773 Didn't you also bang that groupie? Didn't you also bang that groupie?
706 00:30:17,858 00:30:19,525 What was her name? Tara. What was her name? Tara.
707 00:30:19,610 00:30:22,320 You banged her. You got to go do that again. You banged her. You got to go do that again.
708 00:30:22,404 00:30:25,740 I did do that. But, fuck, no, I'm married! I did do that. But, fuck, no, I'm married!
709 00:30:26,074 00:30:27,617 I can't go around banging girls in hot tubs. I can't go around banging girls in hot tubs.
710 00:30:27,701 00:30:31,078 Nick, it's 1986. You can't cheat on someone you don't know yet. Nick, it's 1986. You can't cheat on someone you don't know yet.
711 00:30:31,163 00:30:33,414 You haven't even met Courtney. You haven't even met Courtney.
712 00:30:33,498 00:30:35,666 Lucifer, itinerary please. Lucifer, itinerary please.
713 00:30:35,751 00:30:36,751 Uh... Nothing really happened. Uh... Nothing really happened.
714 00:30:36,835 00:30:38,628 I actually fucked a chick, too. So I'll just do that. I actually fucked a chick, too. So I'll just do that.
715 00:30:38,712 00:30:40,922 I seem to remember you getting your ass whooped. I seem to remember you getting your ass whooped.
716 00:30:41,006 00:30:42,048 (LAUGHING) (LAUGHING)
717 00:30:42,132 00:30:43,674 ADAM: Oh, yeah. NICK: That's right. ADAM: Oh, yeah. NICK: That's right.
718 00:30:43,759 00:30:46,594 That ski patrol dude pummeled you like it was his job. That ski patrol dude pummeled you like it was his job.
719 00:30:46,678 00:30:47,762 Yeah, no. I don't remember it that way. Yeah, no. I don't remember it that way.
720 00:30:47,846 00:30:48,888 I do. I do.
721 00:30:48,972 00:30:51,474 Yeah. He fucked you up. You cried and peed. Yeah. He fucked you up. You cried and peed.
722 00:30:51,558 00:30:54,518 Fuck this, man! This is fucking bullshit! Fuck this, man! This is fucking bullshit!
723 00:30:54,603 00:30:56,604 Would you just think of somebody other than yourself, man? Would you just think of somebody other than yourself, man?
724 00:30:56,730 00:30:57,730 There's four of us. There's four of us.
725 00:30:57,814 00:30:59,732 It's the fucking '80s, guys! It's the fucking '80s, guys!
726 00:30:59,816 00:31:02,526 Let's do what we wanna do. Free love! Let's do what we wanna do. Free love!
727 00:31:02,611 00:31:04,278 JACOB: That's the '60s, dipshit. JACOB: That's the '60s, dipshit.
728 00:31:04,363 00:31:06,322 No, we had, like, Reagan and AIDS. No, we had, like, Reagan and AIDS.
729 00:31:06,406 00:31:08,282 Let's get the fuck out of here, okay? Let's get the fuck out of here, okay?
730 00:31:08,367 00:31:09,700 Do the right thing, Violator. Do the right thing, Violator.
731 00:31:09,785 00:31:12,620 God damn it! This is fucking bullshit! God damn it! This is fucking bullshit!
732 00:31:12,704 00:31:14,705 Tonight's the night you broke up with Jenny Stedmeyer. Tonight's the night you broke up with Jenny Stedmeyer.
733 00:31:14,790 00:31:15,998 Shit. LOU: Yeah, you got stabbed Shit. LOU: Yeah, you got stabbed
734 00:31:16,083 00:31:18,042 in the fucking eyeball tonight! in the fucking eyeball tonight!
735 00:31:18,627 00:31:20,795 Hey, man, do you want backup? Hey, man, do you want backup?
736 00:31:20,879 00:31:22,338 I can't, the butterflies won't let me. I can't, the butterflies won't let me.
737 00:31:22,464 00:31:23,839 JENNY: Yo, Adam? You guys in there? (KNOCKING AT DOOR) JENNY: Yo, Adam? You guys in there? (KNOCKING AT DOOR)
738 00:31:23,924 00:31:25,132 Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
739 00:31:28,011 00:31:30,096 There you are. Hey! There you are. Hey!
740 00:31:30,180 00:31:32,682 How come you guys didn't meet us at the chair lift this morning? How come you guys didn't meet us at the chair lift this morning?
741 00:31:32,766 00:31:33,891 You were going to show me some moves. You were going to show me some moves.
742 00:31:33,976 00:31:36,435 Hi, baby. I missed you. Hi, baby. I missed you.
743 00:31:38,939 00:31:40,523 I must have forgot. I must have forgot.
744 00:31:40,607 00:31:42,650 Perv. That's from Mandy. Perv. That's from Mandy.
745 00:31:43,026 00:31:44,527 Hey, new guy. What's up? Hey. Hey, new guy. What's up? Hey.
746 00:31:44,611 00:31:46,988 So we're in 214. I'm gonna go get ready. So we're in 214. I'm gonna go get ready.
747 00:31:47,072 00:31:48,364 Okay. Meet me in my room, okay? Okay. Meet me in my room, okay?
748 00:31:48,448 00:31:49,865 Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
749 00:31:50,158 00:31:52,076 Love the PJs, Nick. You look hot. Love the PJs, Nick. You look hot.
750 00:31:54,121 00:31:55,997 Poison's tonight. Poison's tonight.
751 00:31:56,081 00:31:57,206 Wow! Wow!
752 00:31:57,291 00:31:59,083 I don't remember her being that fucking beautiful. I don't remember her being that fucking beautiful.
753 00:31:59,167 00:32:02,753 And tight. She's so tight. And tight. She's so tight.
754 00:32:02,838 00:32:03,921 She's really fucking tight! She's really fucking tight!
755 00:32:04,006 00:32:05,339 She's the great white buffalo, man. She's the great white buffalo, man.
756 00:32:05,424 00:32:06,674 Great white buffalo. Great white buffalo. Great white buffalo. Great white buffalo.
757 00:32:06,758 00:32:08,384 Don't start that. Don't start that.
758 00:32:08,468 00:32:09,927 Great white buffalo. Great white buffalo. Great white buffalo. Great white buffalo.
759 00:32:10,012 00:32:10,970 Why did I ever break up with her? Why did I ever break up with her?
760 00:32:11,054 00:32:12,096 Why would I break up with her? Why would I break up with her?
761 00:32:12,180 00:32:13,180 JACOB: Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. JACOB: Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
762 00:32:13,265 00:32:14,932 'Cause you have to do it again. Right? 'Cause you have to do it again. Right?
763 00:32:15,017 00:32:16,642 Right, right, right. Right, right, right.
764 00:32:16,727 00:32:18,019 JACOB: All right. We're all gonna meet back here. JACOB: All right. We're all gonna meet back here.
765 00:32:18,103 00:32:20,187 Hopefully that hot tub's fixed and we can get the fuck out of here. Hopefully that hot tub's fixed and we can get the fuck out of here.
766 00:32:20,272 00:32:21,772 Okay, let's party like it's 1986. Okay, let's party like it's 1986.
767 00:32:21,857 00:32:22,982 All right. On three? All right. On three?
768 00:32:23,066 00:32:24,066 One, two, three... One, two, three... One, two, three... One, two, three...
769 00:32:24,151 00:32:25,901 Hot tub time machine! Wait... Hot tub time machine! Wait...
770 00:32:25,986 00:32:26,986 What are we... What's the... What are we... What's the...
771 00:32:27,070 00:32:28,070 Who said, "Hot tub time machine?" Who said, "Hot tub time machine?"
772 00:32:28,155 00:32:29,322 We didn't tell you about the new thing, with our hands? We didn't tell you about the new thing, with our hands?
773 00:32:29,406 00:32:30,906 No. On three, we always... No. On three, we always...
774 00:32:30,991 00:32:32,283 From now on, we're gonna say, "Hot tub time machine." From now on, we're gonna say, "Hot tub time machine."
775 00:32:32,367 00:32:33,617 I told you, I think that's fucking stupid. I told you, I think that's fucking stupid.
776 00:32:33,702 00:32:34,702 You were in the bathroom. You were in the bathroom.
777 00:32:34,786 00:32:35,786 No, but this is a real bonding event for us. No, but this is a real bonding event for us.
778 00:32:35,871 00:32:36,871 This doesn't happen all the time. This doesn't happen all the time.
779 00:32:36,955 00:32:38,331 Come on. I'm telling you, it's stupid. Come on. I'm telling you, it's stupid.
780 00:32:38,415 00:32:39,623 Do it once. Do what you want to do. Do it once. Do what you want to do.
781 00:32:39,708 00:32:40,916 It would have been 3-to-1 anyway. It would have been 3-to-1 anyway.
782 00:32:41,001 00:32:42,293 ALL: One, two, three... ALL: One, two, three...
783 00:32:42,377 00:32:43,461 ...hot tub time machine! ...hot tub time machine!
784 00:32:43,545 00:32:44,712 It felt good. Admit it. It felt good. Admit it.
785 00:32:47,174 00:32:48,382 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) (POP MUSIC PLAYING)
786 00:32:55,682 00:32:56,891 Hey! Hey!
787 00:32:58,352 00:33:00,644 Let's get this party started! Let's get this party started!
788 00:33:01,271 00:33:03,397 Who is carrying me home tonight? Who is carrying me home tonight?
789 00:33:03,857 00:33:04,899 Mom? Mom?
790 00:33:04,983 00:33:06,442 Sweet fucking Lord. Sweet fucking Lord.
791 00:33:06,526 00:33:07,610 Kelly. Kelly.
792 00:33:07,694 00:33:08,819 Hey, bro, Nicholas. Hey, bro, Nicholas.
793 00:33:08,904 00:33:09,945 Hey, girl. Hey, girl.
794 00:33:10,030 00:33:11,030 Who's the geek? Who's the geek?
795 00:33:11,114 00:33:12,156 He's your son. He's your son.
796 00:33:12,240 00:33:13,199 (LAUGHING) (LAUGHING)
797 00:33:13,283 00:33:14,950 That's not appropriate. That's not appropriate.
798 00:33:15,035 00:33:16,410 JACOB: I'm sun... Sunshine. JACOB: I'm sun... Sunshine.
799 00:33:16,495 00:33:17,536 Sunshine. Sunshine.
800 00:33:17,621 00:33:18,662 'Cause I'm here to brighten your day. 'Cause I'm here to brighten your day.
801 00:33:18,747 00:33:21,082 That's Jacob. Your... That's Jacob. Your...
802 00:33:21,416 00:33:22,708 He's totally cool. He's totally cool.
803 00:33:22,793 00:33:23,793 He doesn't look cool. He doesn't look cool.
804 00:33:23,877 00:33:26,837 He's not that cool. Hey, Kelly. He's not that cool. Hey, Kelly.
805 00:33:26,922 00:33:28,881 Lou Dorchen. Yeah... Lou Dorchen. Yeah...
806 00:33:28,965 00:33:30,007 You don't remember this? You don't remember this?
807 00:33:30,092 00:33:31,050 I don't remember everything. I don't remember everything.
808 00:33:31,134 00:33:33,094 What the fuck, man? This is freaking me the fuck out. What the fuck, man? This is freaking me the fuck out.
809 00:33:33,178 00:33:34,637 You freak out every time you leave the basement. You freak out every time you leave the basement.
810 00:33:34,721 00:33:35,888 All right, kiddies, get your snow boots on All right, kiddies, get your snow boots on
811 00:33:35,972 00:33:38,265 because tonight there is gonna be a blizzard. because tonight there is gonna be a blizzard.
812 00:33:38,350 00:33:40,017 Really? It looked pretty clear out. Really? It looked pretty clear out.
813 00:33:40,102 00:33:42,311 Anybody wanna go for a little sleigh ride? Anybody wanna go for a little sleigh ride?
814 00:33:42,396 00:33:45,898 You can't do cocaine! It's so unhealthy for you. You can't do cocaine! It's so unhealthy for you.
815 00:33:45,982 00:33:47,191 Kelly, in public? Kelly, in public?
816 00:33:47,275 00:33:48,317 Whatever. Whatever.
817 00:33:48,402 00:33:50,027 I'm gonna go to a party at the ski patrol house, I'm gonna go to a party at the ski patrol house,
818 00:33:50,112 00:33:51,570 I'm gonna find a sexy instructor I'm gonna find a sexy instructor
819 00:33:51,655 00:33:54,115 and I'm gonna wax his fucking pole. and I'm gonna wax his fucking pole.
820 00:33:54,199 00:33:56,617 Later, homos. Don't drink my fucking drink. Later, homos. Don't drink my fucking drink.
821 00:33:56,701 00:33:57,785 Ugh! Ugh!
822 00:33:59,079 00:34:00,037 Hey, Adam? Hey, Adam?
823 00:34:00,122 00:34:03,499 What she means is that she works at the ski rental place, right? What she means is that she works at the ski rental place, right?
824 00:34:03,583 00:34:05,751 And that's her job, is cleaning the poles. And that's her job, is cleaning the poles.
825 00:34:05,836 00:34:08,337 I could be off, but I think it's in reference to blowing a dude. I could be off, but I think it's in reference to blowing a dude.
826 00:34:08,422 00:34:11,382 Thank you, Nick. But that's... You don't need to... Thank you, Nick. But that's... You don't need to...
827 00:34:11,466 00:34:12,883 Or fucking a dude. Because the wax, Or fucking a dude. Because the wax,
828 00:34:12,968 00:34:15,136 it can be interpreted either way. it can be interpreted either way.
829 00:34:15,220 00:34:17,555 She was a free spirit, you know? She was a free spirit, you know?
830 00:34:17,639 00:34:21,475 Or maybe she's the pole and there's two dudes that she's waxing. Or maybe she's the pole and there's two dudes that she's waxing.
831 00:34:21,560 00:34:24,186 Let's just get it done, man. Come on. Let's just get it done, man. Come on.
832 00:34:24,896 00:34:26,063 Hey, Lou. What? Hey, Lou. What?
833 00:34:26,148 00:34:29,066 Did my mom, like, sleep with a bunch of dudes? Did my mom, like, sleep with a bunch of dudes?
834 00:34:29,151 00:34:30,151 I don't know. Shut up. I don't know. Shut up.
835 00:34:30,235 00:34:31,610 But she seems kind of slutty, right? But she seems kind of slutty, right?
836 00:34:31,695 00:34:33,988 Does she seem that way to you? Does she seem that way to you?
837 00:34:34,072 00:34:35,906 It's just, she never told me who my dad is. It's just, she never told me who my dad is.
838 00:34:35,991 00:34:37,408 It could be any one of these guys. It could be any one of these guys.
839 00:34:37,492 00:34:39,535 'Cause I was born, like, nine months from now. 'Cause I was born, like, nine months from now.
840 00:34:39,619 00:34:41,203 Yeah? So what does that mean? Yeah? So what does that mean?
841 00:34:41,288 00:34:42,580 It means do the math, dipshit. It means do the math, dipshit.
842 00:34:42,664 00:34:44,707 I could have been conceived this weekend. I could have been conceived this weekend.
843 00:34:44,833 00:34:46,500 Oh, shit. Check this out. Oh, shit. Check this out.
844 00:34:46,585 00:34:49,587 That's that fucking bellhop. I hate that guy. That's that fucking bellhop. I hate that guy.
845 00:34:50,839 00:34:53,507 This must be where he loses the arm! This must be where he loses the arm!
846 00:34:55,260 00:34:56,552 (CROWD CHEERING) (CROWD CHEERING)
847 00:34:56,636 00:34:58,387 Shit! PHIL: Thank you! Shit! PHIL: Thank you!
848 00:34:58,472 00:35:00,181 I think we should tell him. This is gruesome. I think we should tell him. This is gruesome.
849 00:35:00,265 00:35:01,265 Don't you dare fucking tell him. Don't you dare fucking tell him.
850 00:35:01,349 00:35:04,185 You'll screw the time thing up. You'll screw the time thing up.
851 00:35:09,399 00:35:10,524 (YELLING) (YELLING)
852 00:35:11,443 00:35:12,526 (CROWD GASPING) (CROWD GASPING)
853 00:35:13,987 00:35:15,613 (SAW WHIRRING) (SAW WHIRRING)
854 00:35:16,740 00:35:17,781 Yeah! Yeah!
855 00:35:17,866 00:35:18,824 (ALL CHEERING) (ALL CHEERING)
856 00:35:18,909 00:35:19,909 Yes! Yes!
857 00:35:19,993 00:35:21,035 What the fuck? What the fuck?
858 00:35:21,870 00:35:23,037 Yeah! Yeah!
859 00:35:24,414 00:35:27,708 Boo! We just got fucking robbed. Boo! We just got fucking robbed.
860 00:35:27,792 00:35:28,918 What are you talking about? What are you talking about?
861 00:35:29,002 00:35:30,169 He's great, man. Come on! He's great, man. Come on!
862 00:35:31,046 00:35:32,296 (WHISPERS) Jenny. (WHISPERS) Jenny.
863 00:35:33,798 00:35:34,798 Jenny? Jenny?
864 00:35:34,883 00:35:36,717 JENNY: I'm in the bathroom. Come in. JENNY: I'm in the bathroom. Come in.
865 00:35:37,677 00:35:39,220 What do you think? What do you think?
866 00:35:39,304 00:35:40,804 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
867 00:35:40,889 00:35:42,765 What? Do I look fat? What? Do I look fat?
868 00:35:43,558 00:35:46,060 No. You look really beautiful. No. You look really beautiful.
869 00:35:46,520 00:35:47,603 (SIGHING) (SIGHING)
870 00:35:47,687 00:35:50,314 Aw! Thank you. Aw! Thank you.
871 00:35:53,193 00:35:54,652 How about me, do I look different? How about me, do I look different?
872 00:35:54,736 00:35:56,403 Do I look kind of older? Do I look kind of older?
873 00:35:57,113 00:35:58,280 No. No.
874 00:35:59,199 00:36:01,075 You look cute, though. You look cute, though.
875 00:36:01,409 00:36:03,160 God, I can't stop thinking about last night. God, I can't stop thinking about last night.
876 00:36:03,245 00:36:05,454 It was like frigging hot. It was like frigging hot.
877 00:36:05,539 00:36:08,374 It was? What did we do? I don't remember. It was? What did we do? I don't remember.
878 00:36:08,708 00:36:11,544 You lasted, like, 10 minutes. You lasted, like, 10 minutes.
879 00:36:11,836 00:36:13,003 (CHUCKLES) Oh! (CHUCKLES) Oh!
880 00:36:13,171 00:36:14,588 Good, good. Good, good.
881 00:36:15,006 00:36:16,173 And I was good. And I was good.
882 00:36:16,258 00:36:20,344 I think I came. I think. I can't even tell you what it was like. I think I came. I think. I can't even tell you what it was like.
883 00:36:20,428 00:36:23,138 I got some vague recollection of that. I got some vague recollection of that.
884 00:36:23,765 00:36:25,349 Wanna maybe just sit and talk for a minute? Wanna maybe just sit and talk for a minute?
885 00:36:25,433 00:36:26,725 "Talk." "Talk."
886 00:36:26,810 00:36:30,854 Well, I mean, you know, it's just so good to see you again. Well, I mean, you know, it's just so good to see you again.
887 00:36:34,818 00:36:36,777 It's not you. It's me. It's not you. It's me.
888 00:36:38,321 00:36:39,405 (EXCLAIMS) (EXCLAIMS)
889 00:36:41,616 00:36:42,866 Lamp. Lamp.
890 00:36:43,451 00:36:46,078 You know what, I think we should go to Poison now. You know what, I think we should go to Poison now.
891 00:36:46,162 00:36:47,371 You're weird today. You're weird today.
892 00:36:47,455 00:36:49,206 I know. You are funny. I know. You are funny.
893 00:36:49,291 00:36:50,249 Let me just get dressed. Let me just get dressed.
894 00:36:50,333 00:36:51,875 Okay. Okay.
895 00:36:53,420 00:36:54,420 Wow! Wow!
896 00:36:55,630 00:36:57,131 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
897 00:36:58,717 00:37:00,009 Oh, man! Oh, man!
898 00:37:00,552 00:37:02,052 This is trippy. This is trippy.
899 00:37:02,137 00:37:03,721 What's up? What's up?
900 00:37:03,972 00:37:07,600 Man, I can't even remember the last time I saw you guys. Man, I can't even remember the last time I saw you guys.
901 00:37:08,351 00:37:09,727 Yesterday. Yesterday.
902 00:37:10,562 00:37:12,730 Oh, yeah. Yesterday. Oh, yeah. Yesterday.
903 00:37:15,442 00:37:16,525 Yep. Yep.
904 00:37:21,656 00:37:25,159 It's not cheating. It's not cheating. It's 1986. It's not cheating. It's not cheating. It's 1986.
905 00:37:25,285 00:37:26,702 You don't even know Courtney yet. You don't even know Courtney yet.
906 00:37:28,997 00:37:30,581 You know, it's okay if you're scared, Lou. You know, it's okay if you're scared, Lou.
907 00:37:30,665 00:37:33,167 I'm not scared, idiot. I'm fucking pissed. I'm not scared, idiot. I'm fucking pissed.
908 00:37:33,251 00:37:34,918 I have a full head of hair and a functioning penis, I have a full head of hair and a functioning penis,
909 00:37:35,003 00:37:37,171 and I'm looking for some guy to drill me in the fucking jaw. and I'm looking for some guy to drill me in the fucking jaw.
910 00:37:37,255 00:37:38,756 (SIGHS) We're not gonna find him here, anyway. (SIGHS) We're not gonna find him here, anyway.
911 00:37:38,840 00:37:40,132 I don't even remember what he looks like. I don't even remember what he looks like.
912 00:37:44,846 00:37:46,430 Walk much, faggot? Sorry. Walk much, faggot? Sorry.
913 00:37:46,514 00:37:48,098 What? No, don't touch me. The fuck, you're sorry. What? No, don't touch me. The fuck, you're sorry.
914 00:37:48,183 00:37:50,142 You scuffed up my Jordans. You scuffed up my Jordans.
915 00:37:51,186 00:37:54,563 You wanna go for it? Come on, take a shot, pussy. Wanna party? You wanna go for it? Come on, take a shot, pussy. Wanna party?
916 00:37:54,648 00:37:56,523 (ECHOING) Wanna be a hero? (ECHOING) Wanna be a hero?
917 00:37:56,691 00:37:58,817 And here it comes. And here it comes.
918 00:38:02,572 00:38:05,991 Yeah, you gonna cry? You gonna cry, titty baby? Yeah, you gonna cry? You gonna cry, titty baby?
919 00:38:06,076 00:38:09,620 You gonna fucking cry? Look at him he's crying. You gonna fucking cry? Look at him he's crying.
920 00:38:09,704 00:38:11,914 Your fucking bag is mine now. Your fucking bag is mine now.
921 00:38:12,666 00:38:14,041 Is that it? Is that it?
922 00:38:14,250 00:38:15,668 No. No.
923 00:38:15,752 00:38:17,503 No, I yell back at him No, I yell back at him
924 00:38:17,587 00:38:19,421 and I challenge him to a rematch at midnight saying, and I challenge him to a rematch at midnight saying,
925 00:38:19,506 00:38:20,881 "You bring your friends and I'll bring mine." "You bring your friends and I'll bring mine."
926 00:38:20,965 00:38:22,424 And my friends don't fucking show up. And my friends don't fucking show up.
927 00:38:22,509 00:38:24,677 So I get pummeled by six guys instead of one. So I get pummeled by six guys instead of one.
928 00:38:24,761 00:38:27,388 All right, fantastic. Let's do this. All right, fantastic. Let's do this.
929 00:38:29,224 00:38:31,392 Lou, come on. You have to. Lou, come on. You have to.
930 00:38:33,728 00:38:35,229 Hey, Blaine. Hey, Blaine.
931 00:38:35,897 00:38:38,440 Is that all you got? Pussy. Is that all you got? Pussy.
932 00:38:40,568 00:38:41,610 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
933 00:38:41,694 00:38:44,238 NICK: Oh, God. Yeah. NICK: Oh, God. Yeah.
934 00:38:45,365 00:38:47,991 I'll never go back. I'll never go back. I'll never go back. I'll never go back.
935 00:38:48,076 00:38:49,118 (SOBBING) (SOBBING)
936 00:38:50,161 00:38:51,745 Are you crying? Are you crying?
937 00:38:52,247 00:38:53,414 No. No.
938 00:38:53,498 00:38:55,916 It's the water splashing my face from all the fucking. It's the water splashing my face from all the fucking.
939 00:38:56,584 00:38:57,751 Okay, good. Okay, good.
940 00:38:58,128 00:39:01,422 Because I thought you were crying, and I was like... Because I thought you were crying, and I was like...
941 00:39:01,714 00:39:02,840 Yeah! Yeah!
942 00:39:02,924 00:39:04,425 I'm sorry, Courtney. I'm sorry, Courtney.
943 00:39:04,509 00:39:06,301 It's Tara. Courtney! It's Tara. Courtney!
944 00:39:06,386 00:39:07,344 Tara. Tara. Tara. Tara.
945 00:39:07,429 00:39:08,846 Courtney! Courtney! Courtney! Courtney!
946 00:39:08,930 00:39:11,348 No, seriously, my name is Tara. No, seriously, my name is Tara.
947 00:39:11,599 00:39:13,767 No, my wife, my wife. No, my wife, my wife.
948 00:39:15,103 00:39:16,103 You're married? You're married?
949 00:39:16,271 00:39:18,647 No, I'm not married. Not now, anyway. No, I'm not married. Not now, anyway.
950 00:39:18,731 00:39:21,400 I will be. She's nine right now. I will be. She's nine right now.
951 00:39:27,031 00:39:30,117 Can I tell you something that I haven't told anybody? Can I tell you something that I haven't told anybody?
952 00:39:30,618 00:39:32,244 She cheated on me. She cheated on me.
953 00:39:33,955 00:39:35,706 I found a e-mail. I found a e-mail.
954 00:39:36,291 00:39:38,208 And now every time I look at her, And now every time I look at her,
955 00:39:38,293 00:39:40,377 all I can see is her getting rammed by all I can see is her getting rammed by
956 00:39:40,462 00:39:43,714 some faceless dude with a better body and a bigger dick. some faceless dude with a better body and a bigger dick.
957 00:39:43,798 00:39:46,216 Truth of it is, I can't even bring myself to say anything Truth of it is, I can't even bring myself to say anything
958 00:39:46,301 00:39:48,969 because I just love her so fucking much. because I just love her so fucking much.
959 00:39:50,305 00:39:53,223 I don't even know if I can live without her cheating ass. I don't even know if I can live without her cheating ass.
960 00:39:53,308 00:39:54,892 Hey, what's an e-mail? Hey, what's an e-mail?
961 00:39:54,976 00:39:56,727 That's not the point! That's not the point!
962 00:39:57,479 00:40:00,564 JACOB: Seems like you might've took one defensive swing against him. JACOB: Seems like you might've took one defensive swing against him.
963 00:40:00,648 00:40:03,734 I mean, honestly, what the fuck, man? That was... I mean, honestly, what the fuck, man? That was...
964 00:40:03,818 00:40:07,070 I don't know how you've lived with yourself all these years. I don't know how you've lived with yourself all these years.
965 00:40:07,155 00:40:08,739 It was pathetic. It was pathetic.
966 00:40:08,823 00:40:11,408 It was pathetic. You couldn't have kicked him from the ground? It was pathetic. You couldn't have kicked him from the ground?
967 00:40:11,493 00:40:12,993 What happened? What happened?
968 00:40:16,080 00:40:17,164 Uh... Uh...
969 00:40:17,749 00:40:20,584 This is a crazy story. I got hit by a truck. This is a crazy story. I got hit by a truck.
970 00:40:21,085 00:40:22,669 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
971 00:40:22,754 00:40:25,297 Trying to save a baby deer, if you can believe that. Trying to save a baby deer, if you can believe that.
972 00:40:25,381 00:40:26,465 Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
973 00:40:26,549 00:40:28,842 Is there anything that I can do? Are you okay? Is there anything that I can do? Are you okay?
974 00:40:28,927 00:40:30,052 (CLEARS THROAT) (CLEARS THROAT)
975 00:40:30,720 00:40:33,805 Oh, my God. No, I'm fine. This is nothing. Oh, my God. No, I'm fine. This is nothing.
976 00:40:33,890 00:40:36,266 You know what? Come with me. I'm gonna take care of you. You know what? Come with me. I'm gonna take care of you.
977 00:40:36,351 00:40:37,684 And bring your friend. And bring your friend.
978 00:40:37,769 00:40:38,852 No, we can't. No, we can't.
979 00:40:38,895 00:40:40,604 We'd love to, but we can't. We can, we can. We'd love to, but we can't. We can, we can.
980 00:40:40,688 00:40:42,564 We should probably go check on that deer, actually. We should probably go check on that deer, actually.
981 00:40:42,649 00:40:43,690 No, we can go. We can go. No, we can go. We can go.
982 00:40:44,400 00:40:45,484 (TALK DIRTY TO ME PLAYING) (PEOPLE CHEERING) (TALK DIRTY TO ME PLAYING) (PEOPLE CHEERING)
983 00:40:45,568 00:40:47,778 (SINGING) I know you cannot wait (SINGING) I know you cannot wait
984 00:40:47,862 00:40:49,905 Wait to see me, too Wait to see me, too
985 00:40:49,989 00:40:51,198 Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
986 00:40:51,282 00:40:53,450 This is like the best song ever! This is like the best song ever!
987 00:40:53,535 00:40:54,701 Maybe not ever. Maybe not ever.
988 00:40:54,786 00:40:55,869 (WHOOPING) (WHOOPING)
989 00:40:56,246 00:40:57,913 At the drive-in At the drive-in
990 00:40:57,997 00:40:59,623 God, he's so hot! God, he's so hot!
991 00:40:59,707 00:41:01,959 In the old man's Ford In the old man's Ford
992 00:41:02,043 00:41:04,503 Behind the bushes Behind the bushes
993 00:41:04,671 00:41:06,129 Can I get 3,000 beers? Can I get 3,000 beers?
994 00:41:06,214 00:41:08,173 Until I'm screaming for more Until I'm screaming for more
995 00:41:08,258 00:41:10,384 Down the basement Down the basement
996 00:41:12,220 00:41:14,304 MAN: Who's next? Who's next for the beer luge? MAN: Who's next? Who's next for the beer luge?
997 00:41:14,389 00:41:16,640 This guy! This guy's next! He wants it so bad. This guy! This guy's next! He wants it so bad.
998 00:41:16,724 00:41:17,724 You can do it, man. You can do it, man.
999 00:41:17,809 00:41:18,976 He wants it. He wants it.
1000 00:41:19,060 00:41:20,352 (ALL CLAMORING) (ALL CLAMORING)
1001 00:41:21,729 00:41:24,356 CROWD: (CHANTING) Luge! Luge! Luge! Luge! Luge! Luge! CROWD: (CHANTING) Luge! Luge! Luge! Luge! Luge! Luge!
1002 00:41:26,025 00:41:27,150 (CROWD CHEERS) (CROWD CHEERS)
1003 00:41:28,111 00:41:32,281 That was so lame. That wasn't, like, even violent a little bit. That was so lame. That wasn't, like, even violent a little bit.
1004 00:41:32,365 00:41:34,157 Who are you, and why did you do that to me? Who are you, and why did you do that to me?
1005 00:41:34,242 00:41:37,202 Why? Because you looked like you needed a luge. Why? Because you looked like you needed a luge.
1006 00:41:37,287 00:41:39,329 I'm Adam. I'm April. I'm Adam. I'm April.
1007 00:41:39,414 00:41:40,414 How are you doing? How are you doing?
1008 00:41:40,498 00:41:41,665 All right. All right.
1009 00:41:41,749 00:41:43,333 What brings you here? What brings you here?
1010 00:41:43,418 00:41:44,459 Hot tub. Hot tub.
1011 00:41:44,544 00:41:45,544 Huh. Huh.
1012 00:41:45,628 00:41:47,379 You? Poison. You? Poison.
1013 00:41:47,964 00:41:49,756 Right. That band. Poison. Right. That band. Poison.
1014 00:41:49,924 00:41:52,968 I'm a journalist. I'm covering the band for Spin magazine. I'm a journalist. I'm covering the band for Spin magazine.
1015 00:41:53,052 00:41:54,511 You don't really look like you're the type. You don't really look like you're the type.
1016 00:41:54,596 00:41:57,514 The Poison type? God, no. I'm not. I'm really not. The Poison type? God, no. I'm not. I'm really not.
1017 00:41:57,599 00:41:59,683 I basically just got onto this bus I basically just got onto this bus
1018 00:41:59,767 00:42:03,729 and it took me here, to goddamn Winterfest. and it took me here, to goddamn Winterfest.
1019 00:42:03,980 00:42:05,439 JENNY: Adam! JENNY: Adam!
1020 00:42:06,149 00:42:07,274 Whoo! Whoo!
1021 00:42:07,734 00:42:09,484 You know what? I can't talk to you. You know what? I can't talk to you.
1022 00:42:09,569 00:42:10,652 You can't? You can't?
1023 00:42:10,737 00:42:12,404 But I'm awesome. I can guarantee that. But I'm awesome. I can guarantee that.
1024 00:42:12,488 00:42:15,157 I'm sure. You see, I have to walk in the exact same footsteps. I'm sure. You see, I have to walk in the exact same footsteps.
1025 00:42:15,241 00:42:17,034 This didn't happen. This didn't happen.
1026 00:42:17,118 00:42:18,744 Well, it kind of happened. Well, it kind of happened.
1027 00:42:18,828 00:42:19,870 I wish it did. I wish it did.
1028 00:42:19,954 00:42:21,538 I just saw it happen. It really didn't. I just saw it happen. It really didn't.
1029 00:42:21,623 00:42:23,415 Yeah. No, I contributed. Yeah. No, I contributed.
1030 00:42:23,499 00:42:24,666 I wish it did. I wish it did.
1031 00:42:24,751 00:42:25,834 All right. All right.
1032 00:42:26,461 00:42:27,461 See you. See you.
1033 00:42:28,129 00:42:29,379 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
1034 00:42:32,550 00:42:36,094 I brought you some ice. It'll make you feel better. I brought you some ice. It'll make you feel better.
1035 00:42:36,262 00:42:37,846 Let's see that. Let's see that.
1036 00:42:38,473 00:42:39,473 Feel better? Feel better?
1037 00:42:39,557 00:42:41,600 That ice does make me feel better. That ice does make me feel better.
1038 00:42:42,143 00:42:43,310 (CLEARING THROAT) (CLEARING THROAT)
1039 00:42:43,728 00:42:45,228 (COUGHS) Butterflies. (COUGHS) Butterflies.
1040 00:42:45,313 00:42:48,148 Hey, you know what? I just remembered I gotta meet a guy. Hey, you know what? I just remembered I gotta meet a guy.
1041 00:42:48,232 00:42:49,399 No, no. Wait. No, no. Wait.
1042 00:42:49,484 00:42:50,609 (LAUGHING) (LAUGHING)
1043 00:42:50,693 00:42:52,653 No, you can't go. No, you can't go.
1044 00:42:52,820 00:42:54,488 'Cause guess what? 'Cause guess what?
1045 00:42:54,572 00:42:55,614 What? What?
1046 00:42:55,698 00:42:57,658 I only do two at a time. I only do two at a time.
1047 00:42:58,451 00:42:59,451 What do you mean? What do you mean?
1048 00:42:59,535 00:43:00,952 What do I mean? What do I mean?
1049 00:43:04,499 00:43:06,291 There those are. There those are.
1050 00:43:06,584 00:43:08,251 LOU: Yeah, let's do this. LOU: Yeah, let's do this.
1051 00:43:08,336 00:43:09,920 Him first? Okay. Him first? Okay.
1052 00:43:10,004 00:43:11,463 It's your thing. I don't wanna tell you what to do. It's your thing. I don't wanna tell you what to do.
1053 00:43:11,547 00:43:12,589 (PHONE RINGING) (PHONE RINGING)
1054 00:43:12,674 00:43:14,549 Hold on, I gotta get the phone. Hold on, I gotta get the phone.
1055 00:43:15,760 00:43:18,679 Hello? Mom? Hello? Mom?
1056 00:43:19,013 00:43:20,013 What? What?
1057 00:43:20,098 00:43:21,223 I wanna know what the doctor said. I wanna know what the doctor said.
1058 00:43:21,307 00:43:23,684 Lou? Lou, we can't do this. Lou? Lou, we can't do this.
1059 00:43:23,768 00:43:24,935 Yes, we can. Yes, we can.
1060 00:43:25,019 00:43:26,311 No, this didn't happen. No, this didn't happen.
1061 00:43:26,396 00:43:27,396 We can't do this. Yes, we can. We can't do this. Yes, we can.
1062 00:43:27,522 00:43:29,106 This didn't happen in the past. Yes, it did. Shut up. This didn't happen in the past. Yes, it did. Shut up.
1063 00:43:29,190 00:43:31,024 This did not fucking happen in the past. This did not fucking happen in the past.
1064 00:43:31,109 00:43:32,901 You shut the fuck up, please. You shut the fuck up, please.
1065 00:43:32,985 00:43:34,611 We're gonna make, like, Hitler president or something. We're gonna make, like, Hitler president or something.
1066 00:43:34,696 00:43:36,279 We can't do this. We can't do this.
1067 00:43:36,364 00:43:40,033 Look, can you be fucking normal? Please? Look, can you be fucking normal? Please?
1068 00:43:40,118 00:43:42,119 Every young man's fantasy is to have a three-way. Every young man's fantasy is to have a three-way.
1069 00:43:42,245 00:43:44,287 Not with another fucking guy. It's still a three-way. Not with another fucking guy. It's still a three-way.
1070 00:43:44,372 00:43:46,039 What about the policy of the butterfly effect? What about the policy of the butterfly effect?
1071 00:43:46,124 00:43:48,750 The butterfly effect can suck my nuts! The butterfly effect can suck my nuts!
1072 00:43:49,711 00:43:52,629 Look, we're gonna have sex with this girl, okay? Look, we're gonna have sex with this girl, okay?
1073 00:43:52,797 00:43:54,798 You, me, together. You, me, together.
1074 00:43:55,550 00:43:57,759 Enough of this queer shit. Let's get the mood right. Enough of this queer shit. Let's get the mood right.
1075 00:43:57,844 00:43:58,969 (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING ON TAPE) (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING ON TAPE)
1076 00:43:59,053 00:44:00,137 All right. Look, right there. All right. Look, right there.
1077 00:44:00,221 00:44:01,221 What? What?
1078 00:44:01,305 00:44:03,932 You don't wanna seem overzealous with a full-on rager. You don't wanna seem overzealous with a full-on rager.
1079 00:44:04,016 00:44:05,976 You don't want to insult the woman, either. You don't want to insult the woman, either.
1080 00:44:06,060 00:44:08,937 You're gonna wanna get at least a half-a-chub going, right? You're gonna wanna get at least a half-a-chub going, right?
1081 00:44:09,021 00:44:10,397 Look at me. No. Look at me. No.
1082 00:44:10,481 00:44:11,732 Look at that. No. Look at that. No.
1083 00:44:11,816 00:44:13,817 Look at how, like, perfect that is. Look at how, like, perfect that is.
1084 00:44:13,901 00:44:15,902 I'm not gonna fucking look. I'm not gonna fucking look.
1085 00:44:16,821 00:44:17,863 Look, look. Here. Look, look. Here.
1086 00:44:17,947 00:44:18,989 What the fuck, man? What the fuck, man?
1087 00:44:20,241 00:44:21,908 I'm out of here. Come on, Jake, I'm out of here. Come on, Jake,
1088 00:44:22,034 00:44:23,702 I was just getting you started. Don't care! I was just getting you started. Don't care!
1089 00:44:23,786 00:44:24,786 Guys do that. Guys do that.
1090 00:44:24,871 00:44:26,580 No one does that! (DOOR SLAMS) No one does that! (DOOR SLAMS)
1091 00:44:26,831 00:44:28,415 Hey. Onesies? Hey. Onesies?
1092 00:44:31,252 00:44:32,502 Sorry. Sorry.
1093 00:44:33,004 00:44:34,254 Okay, cool. I'm out of here. Okay, cool. I'm out of here.
1094 00:44:36,591 00:44:37,674 (EXCLAIMING) (EXCLAIMING)
1095 00:44:41,763 00:44:42,888 Hey. Hey.
1096 00:44:42,972 00:44:44,973 How did it go with Jenny? How did it go with Jenny?
1097 00:44:45,057 00:44:46,224 (JENNY WHOOPING) (JENNY WHOOPING)
1098 00:44:46,309 00:44:47,476 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1099 00:44:49,103 00:44:52,898 Oh, my God. Whoo! Why aren't you dancing? Oh, my God. Whoo! Why aren't you dancing?
1100 00:44:53,566 00:44:54,900 Whoa! What's your name? Whoa! What's your name?
1101 00:44:54,984 00:44:56,943 That's Jacob. That's Jenny. That's Jacob. That's Jenny.
1102 00:44:58,571 00:45:00,113 What the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you doing?
1103 00:45:00,156 00:45:01,615 You're supposed to break up with her! I know. You're supposed to break up with her! I know.
1104 00:45:01,699 00:45:03,200 No, no, no. Just check it out, okay? No, no, no. Just check it out, okay?
1105 00:45:03,284 00:45:05,160 Maybe she's the key to something. Maybe she's the key to something.
1106 00:45:05,244 00:45:07,746 And I messed it up when I broke up with her before, And I messed it up when I broke up with her before,
1107 00:45:07,830 00:45:10,123 and now the universe is giving me another crack at it. and now the universe is giving me another crack at it.
1108 00:45:10,208 00:45:13,001 And if you thought you could really start over And if you thought you could really start over
1109 00:45:13,085 00:45:14,586 and do something totally different, and do something totally different,
1110 00:45:14,670 00:45:16,254 you wouldn't even consider it? you wouldn't even consider it?
1111 00:45:16,339 00:45:17,672 You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right.
1112 00:45:17,757 00:45:18,715 You think so? Really? You think so? Really?
1113 00:45:18,800 00:45:19,966 No. Fuck, no! No. Fuck, no!
1114 00:45:20,051 00:45:21,301 Come on! Come on!
1115 00:45:23,846 00:45:25,096 What do you mean, you didn't do it? What do you mean, you didn't do it?
1116 00:45:25,181 00:45:26,640 I'm getting to it. I'm getting to it.
1117 00:45:26,724 00:45:28,808 No, we were supposed to do everything that we did. No, we were supposed to do everything that we did.
1118 00:45:28,893 00:45:29,893 That's what I remember. That's what I remember.
1119 00:45:29,977 00:45:31,394 Yeah, Adam, what the fuck, man? Yeah, Adam, what the fuck, man?
1120 00:45:31,479 00:45:32,604 You were supposed to fucking dump her. You were supposed to fucking dump her.
1121 00:45:32,688 00:45:35,148 You think I liked getting my ass fucked up and down the entire street? You think I liked getting my ass fucked up and down the entire street?
1122 00:45:35,274 00:45:36,650 Because I didn't. It's not that I'm not gonna do it, Because I didn't. It's not that I'm not gonna do it,
1123 00:45:36,734 00:45:38,485 I just haven't done it yet. There's a big difference. I just haven't done it yet. There's a big difference.
1124 00:45:38,569 00:45:39,736 Look at my face, dude. Look at my face, dude.
1125 00:45:39,820 00:45:41,488 Look at my fucking face! Drink me in. Look at my fucking face! Drink me in.
1126 00:45:41,572 00:45:42,989 You think I wouldn't have liked to have changed this? You think I wouldn't have liked to have changed this?
1127 00:45:43,074 00:45:46,409 Shut the fuck up, Lou. You tried to rope me into a three-way. Shut the fuck up, Lou. You tried to rope me into a three-way.
1128 00:45:46,494 00:45:47,536 What? Did you? What? Did you?
1129 00:45:47,620 00:45:48,745 No. Yes. No. Yes.
1130 00:45:48,829 00:45:50,163 Lou! Did you? Lou! Did you?
1131 00:45:50,248 00:45:53,416 I didn't fuck that girl. Okay? I didn't fuck that girl. Okay?
1132 00:45:53,584 00:45:56,628 Because I'm committed to not changing the past. Because I'm committed to not changing the past.
1133 00:45:56,837 00:45:58,046 Right. It had nothing to do with her Right. It had nothing to do with her
1134 00:45:58,130 00:45:59,673 wanting to be a Chinese finger trap. wanting to be a Chinese finger trap.
1135 00:45:59,757 00:46:01,716 And I'm not saying that because she was Asian. And I'm not saying that because she was Asian.
1136 00:46:01,801 00:46:04,177 So you're telling me I cheated on my wife for no reason. So you're telling me I cheated on my wife for no reason.
1137 00:46:04,262 00:46:05,262 (IMITATING BABY CRYING) (IMITATING BABY CRYING)
1138 00:46:05,346 00:46:06,388 ADAM: Just relax, okay? ADAM: Just relax, okay?
1139 00:46:06,472 00:46:08,014 I'm gonna do it. I just haven't done it yet! I'm gonna do it. I just haven't done it yet!
1140 00:46:08,099 00:46:09,099 You're unbelievable. You're unbelievable.
1141 00:46:09,183 00:46:10,934 Hey, Nick, can I ask you a question? Yes. Hey, Nick, can I ask you a question? Yes.
1142 00:46:11,018 00:46:12,811 Does this seem like it's all about Adam again? Does this seem like it's all about Adam again?
1143 00:46:12,895 00:46:15,188 Yeah, just like Cincinnati. Yeah, just like Cincinnati.
1144 00:46:15,856 00:46:17,524 What? You gonna bring that up? What? You gonna bring that up?
1145 00:46:17,608 00:46:19,901 We said we weren't gonna talk about Cincinnati ever, okay? We said we weren't gonna talk about Cincinnati ever, okay?
1146 00:46:19,986 00:46:22,779 Is this why you have that shoebox in your closet that says "Cincinnati"? Is this why you have that shoebox in your closet that says "Cincinnati"?
1147 00:46:22,863 00:46:23,863 Yeah. Yeah.
1148 00:46:23,948 00:46:25,031 What? That's fucking admissible! What? That's fucking admissible!
1149 00:46:25,116 00:46:26,700 You keep it in the closet? You keep it in the closet?
1150 00:46:26,784 00:46:29,160 What was I supposed to do with it? You can't bury those things. What was I supposed to do with it? You can't bury those things.
1151 00:46:29,245 00:46:30,870 And you wrote "Cincinnati" on it? And you wrote "Cincinnati" on it?
1152 00:46:30,955 00:46:33,873 How do I know which one it's supposed to be? How do I know which one it's supposed to be?
1153 00:46:34,208 00:46:35,250 Is it a fetus? Is it a fetus?
1154 00:46:35,334 00:46:36,710 My friends are ridiculous. My friends are ridiculous.
1155 00:46:36,794 00:46:38,128 Why are we still talking about this? Why are we still talking about this?
1156 00:46:38,212 00:46:40,088 Okay, we said we would never talk about that. Okay, we said we would never talk about that.
1157 00:46:40,172 00:46:43,466 By the way, where does it say in the fucking friendship handbook By the way, where does it say in the fucking friendship handbook
1158 00:46:43,551 00:46:47,095 that you are the only one who is allowed any fucking problems? that you are the only one who is allowed any fucking problems?
1159 00:46:47,179 00:46:49,264 I forgot that it says in the asshole handbook I forgot that it says in the asshole handbook
1160 00:46:49,348 00:46:52,100 that you can just fuck over your friends whenever you want! that you can just fuck over your friends whenever you want!
1161 00:46:52,184 00:46:53,810 Actually, it would say that in the asshole handbook Actually, it would say that in the asshole handbook
1162 00:46:53,894 00:46:55,312 if it was, like, guidelines for being an asshole, if it was, like, guidelines for being an asshole,
1163 00:46:55,396 00:46:56,855 that's what it would say. NICK: Why wouldn't it say that that's what it would say. NICK: Why wouldn't it say that
1164 00:46:56,939 00:46:58,064 in the asshole handbook? Yeah, it would say in the asshole handbook? Yeah, it would say
1165 00:46:58,149 00:46:59,316 to fuck your friends. "Fuck over your friends." to fuck your friends. "Fuck over your friends."
1166 00:46:59,400 00:47:00,692 No, no, no. JACOB: Have you ever read a book? No, no, no. JACOB: Have you ever read a book?
1167 00:47:00,776 00:47:04,029 You're right. I'm sorry, my bad. You guys are right. You're right. I'm sorry, my bad. You guys are right.
1168 00:47:04,196 00:47:06,489 But if you're changing the fucking past, okay, But if you're changing the fucking past, okay,
1169 00:47:06,574 00:47:08,908 then I'm changing the fucking past, all right? then I'm changing the fucking past, all right?
1170 00:47:08,993 00:47:10,452 No! Lou! No! Lou!
1171 00:47:10,536 00:47:13,038 Okay! We're in the game! I like this. Okay! We're in the game! I like this.
1172 00:47:13,122 00:47:14,873 I didn't change anything yet, I just didn't do it. I didn't change anything yet, I just didn't do it.
1173 00:47:14,957 00:47:16,124 And if we're changing shit, And if we're changing shit,
1174 00:47:16,208 00:47:18,126 you better be there at midnight to get my fucking back. you better be there at midnight to get my fucking back.
1175 00:47:18,210 00:47:19,586 Done. ADAM: I'll be there. Done. ADAM: I'll be there.
1176 00:47:19,670 00:47:22,088 JACOB: Guys! Guys! Come on, man. Talk to me about this! JACOB: Guys! Guys! Come on, man. Talk to me about this!
1177 00:47:22,173 00:47:23,673 LOU: Fuck off. Fuck! LOU: Fuck off. Fuck!
1178 00:47:23,758 00:47:25,050 I'll be back in a minute. Where are you going? I'll be back in a minute. Where are you going?
1179 00:47:25,134 00:47:26,217 I gotta go. I'm getting out of here. I gotta go. I'm getting out of here.
1180 00:47:26,302 00:47:28,011 No, no, Adam, listen to me, please. No, no, Adam, listen to me, please.
1181 00:47:28,095 00:47:30,513 Jenny Stedmeyer is not your fucking destiny, okay? Jenny Stedmeyer is not your fucking destiny, okay?
1182 00:47:30,598 00:47:31,723 She's just some girl. She's just some girl.
1183 00:47:31,807 00:47:33,850 Some girl you dated in high school, okay? Some girl you dated in high school, okay?
1184 00:47:33,934 00:47:35,518 I know! I just got some emotions coming up. I know! I just got some emotions coming up.
1185 00:47:35,603 00:47:36,936 I got some feelings that I got to deal with. I got some feelings that I got to deal with.
1186 00:47:37,021 00:47:39,022 I'm gonna do it. I believe in you. You're awesome. I'm gonna do it. I believe in you. You're awesome.
1187 00:47:39,106 00:47:40,690 You know what? That's fine. Everybody just take off! You know what? That's fine. Everybody just take off!
1188 00:47:40,775 00:47:41,983 I don't need to be born. I don't need to be born.
1189 00:47:42,068 00:47:45,278 I'll just go find the repairman myself and fix the time machine. I'll just go find the repairman myself and fix the time machine.
1190 00:47:46,280 00:47:48,657 That's the dumbest thing I've said in a while. That's the dumbest thing I've said in a while.
1191 00:47:49,158 00:47:50,158 (BUZZING) (BUZZING)
1192 00:47:50,993 00:47:52,535 You made the best decision of your life, You made the best decision of your life,
1193 00:47:52,620 00:47:54,037 choosing me as your friend over Adam. choosing me as your friend over Adam.
1194 00:47:54,121 00:47:55,580 NICK: I'm pretty sure that's not what's going on here. NICK: I'm pretty sure that's not what's going on here.
1195 00:47:55,665 00:47:57,624 LOU: Don't be afraid. I'm gonna treat you right. LOU: Don't be afraid. I'm gonna treat you right.
1196 00:47:57,958 00:47:59,501 Daddy's gonna take care of you. PHIL: Whoa! Daddy's gonna take care of you. PHIL: Whoa!
1197 00:47:59,627 00:48:00,669 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
1198 00:48:00,753 00:48:03,338 Here we go. It's like a slow-motion guillotine. Here we go. It's like a slow-motion guillotine.
1199 00:48:03,422 00:48:04,756 (GRUNTING) (GRUNTING)
1200 00:48:05,132 00:48:07,300 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) What the F-ing fuck? (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) What the F-ing fuck?
1201 00:48:10,221 00:48:11,388 (EXHALES) (EXHALES)
1202 00:48:15,643 00:48:18,144 LOU: Here we go. Here we go. Round two. LOU: Here we go. Here we go. Round two.
1203 00:48:18,479 00:48:19,521 (GRUNTING) (GRUNTING)
1204 00:48:19,897 00:48:20,897 Should we help him? Should we help him?
1205 00:48:20,981 00:48:22,273 No. No. This is his destiny. No. No. This is his destiny.
1206 00:48:26,779 00:48:27,862 (BOTH YELLING) (BOTH YELLING)
1207 00:48:28,656 00:48:29,614 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
1208 00:48:29,699 00:48:30,740 Fuck you! Fuck you!
1209 00:48:30,825 00:48:32,617 Did it happen? No. Did it happen? No.
1210 00:48:33,994 00:48:35,412 (BREATHING HEAVILY) (BREATHING HEAVILY)
1211 00:48:35,996 00:48:37,330 If that guy doesn't lose his arm soon, If that guy doesn't lose his arm soon,
1212 00:48:37,415 00:48:39,582 I'm gonna fucking take it from him myself. I'm gonna fucking take it from him myself.
1213 00:48:39,750 00:48:40,750 Man! Man!
1214 00:48:45,381 00:48:46,840 Blaine! Blaine!
1215 00:48:47,007 00:48:49,092 Come on down, man. Have a brewski with us. Come on down, man. Have a brewski with us.
1216 00:48:49,176 00:48:50,218 There's a party. There's a party.
1217 00:48:50,302 00:48:53,304 BLAINE: "No foreign army has ever occupied American soil. BLAINE: "No foreign army has ever occupied American soil.
1218 00:48:53,389 00:48:54,848 "Until now." "Until now."
1219 00:48:55,224 00:48:56,683 Watching Red Dawn again, or... Watching Red Dawn again, or...
1220 00:48:56,851 00:48:58,643 Wolverines! Wolverines!
1221 00:48:59,520 00:49:00,937 They're Ruskies. They're Ruskies.
1222 00:49:01,021 00:49:02,939 And these are their secret Commie weapons. And these are their secret Commie weapons.
1223 00:49:03,023 00:49:04,441 What are you talking about? What are you talking about?
1224 00:49:04,525 00:49:06,234 Look at this stuff, man. Look at this stuff, man.
1225 00:49:06,318 00:49:09,237 They could be spies or something. They could be spies or something.
1226 00:49:09,405 00:49:11,114 I don't know, Blaine. I mean, they seem a little young I don't know, Blaine. I mean, they seem a little young
1227 00:49:11,198 00:49:12,615 to be spies, you know. to be spies, you know.
1228 00:49:12,700 00:49:13,867 Come on, Chaz. Come on, Chaz.
1229 00:49:14,702 00:49:17,495 They could be some kind of 21 Jump Street They could be some kind of 21 Jump Street
1230 00:49:17,663 00:49:19,998 spy battalion-type dudes. spy battalion-type dudes.
1231 00:49:21,917 00:49:25,211 Yeah. Yeah. Or not at all, you know? There's also that. Yeah. Yeah. Or not at all, you know? There's also that.
1232 00:49:25,671 00:49:27,088 What the fuck is this? What the fuck is this?
1233 00:49:28,257 00:49:29,299 ADAM: There's something I wanna talk to you about. ADAM: There's something I wanna talk to you about.
1234 00:49:29,383 00:49:31,718 It's something I'm supposed to do but I don't wanna do. It's something I'm supposed to do but I don't wanna do.
1235 00:49:31,802 00:49:32,969 You know why? Okay, Adam. But... You know why? Okay, Adam. But...
1236 00:49:33,053 00:49:36,473 Because I was thinking about how good we are together, right? Because I was thinking about how good we are together, right?
1237 00:49:36,599 00:49:38,808 Don't you think? I really think so. Okay. Don't you think? I really think so. Okay.
1238 00:49:38,893 00:49:40,935 And I was talking about the future and I was thinking about, And I was talking about the future and I was thinking about,
1239 00:49:41,020 00:49:43,146 well, my future is this way and maybe it could be this way. well, my future is this way and maybe it could be this way.
1240 00:49:43,230 00:49:45,315 I know I'm rambling now. God, you're so beautiful. I know I'm rambling now. God, you're so beautiful.
1241 00:49:45,399 00:49:46,816 But we got along so great and... But we got along so great and...
1242 00:49:46,901 00:49:48,526 What is that? What is that?
1243 00:49:49,028 00:49:51,571 It's a note I wrote to you. You should read it. It's a note I wrote to you. You should read it.
1244 00:49:51,864 00:49:53,907 Right now? Okay. Yeah. Right now? Okay. Yeah.
1245 00:49:53,991 00:49:57,494 "Dear Adam, you're a super-terrific guy and I love you. "Dear Adam, you're a super-terrific guy and I love you.
1246 00:49:57,620 00:49:58,745 Aw! Aw!
1247 00:49:59,163 00:50:00,455 "And that's why this is so hard for me. "And that's why this is so hard for me.
1248 00:50:00,539 00:50:03,958 "You're one of the most amazing people that I've ever met. I can't..." "You're one of the most amazing people that I've ever met. I can't..."
1249 00:50:04,126 00:50:07,545 Are you breaking up with me? That's what this... This is a break-up note? Are you breaking up with me? That's what this... This is a break-up note?
1250 00:50:07,922 00:50:09,172 I'm sorry, Adam. I'm sorry, Adam.
1251 00:50:09,256 00:50:11,674 All these years! You stabbed me in the eye with a fucking fork All these years! You stabbed me in the eye with a fucking fork
1252 00:50:11,759 00:50:13,510 and you were gonna break up with me anyway? and you were gonna break up with me anyway?
1253 00:50:13,594 00:50:14,677 Is that what you're saying to me? Is that what you're saying to me?
1254 00:50:14,762 00:50:15,804 I did what? I did what?
1255 00:50:15,888 00:50:18,723 Why are you breaking up with me? That's not how this works. Why are you breaking up with me? That's not how this works.
1256 00:50:19,391 00:50:21,851 You're such a great guy and you're gonna find the right girl, You're such a great guy and you're gonna find the right girl,
1257 00:50:21,936 00:50:23,144 but it's not me. but it's not me.
1258 00:50:23,229 00:50:26,898 And everybody knows what a big deal you're gonna be some day. And everybody knows what a big deal you're gonna be some day.
1259 00:50:27,942 00:50:31,277 No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not anybody. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not anybody.
1260 00:50:31,445 00:50:35,114 Adam, okay. It's not you, it's me. Adam, okay. It's not you, it's me.
1261 00:50:36,951 00:50:39,577 I say that to you. You don't say that to me. I say that to you. You don't say that to me.
1262 00:50:39,662 00:50:41,538 That's not how this works. That's not how this works.
1263 00:50:41,622 00:50:44,624 Do you know what happens to you if we don't go back? Do you know what happens to you if we don't go back?
1264 00:50:45,251 00:50:46,292 You end up with Billy Lavatino. You end up with Billy Lavatino.
1265 00:50:46,377 00:50:47,377 I like him. I like him.
1266 00:50:47,461 00:50:50,380 You may like him, but then you end up pregnant with, like, trucker hips, You may like him, but then you end up pregnant with, like, trucker hips,
1267 00:50:50,464 00:50:52,173 and you have a baby with Billy Lavatino, and you have a baby with Billy Lavatino,
1268 00:50:52,258 00:50:54,133 and you're addicted to Weight Watchers, you little bitch. and you're addicted to Weight Watchers, you little bitch.
1269 00:50:54,260 00:50:56,010 What did you just call me? Take this fucking back! What did you just call me? Take this fucking back!
1270 00:50:56,095 00:50:58,429 Don't you... Jesus! Don't you... Jesus!
1271 00:50:58,722 00:50:59,889 (CROWD GASPING) (CROWD GASPING)
1272 00:50:59,974 00:51:01,140 (GROANING) (GROANING)
1273 00:51:01,600 00:51:03,017 I don't get fat! I don't get fat!
1274 00:51:03,978 00:51:04,978 MAN: Gross! MAN: Gross!
1275 00:51:09,233 00:51:12,151 If we're changing shit, we gotta be taking advantage of shit. If we're changing shit, we gotta be taking advantage of shit.
1276 00:51:12,319 00:51:14,320 No. Mulligan. No. Mulligan.
1277 00:51:14,822 00:51:16,155 No mulligan. Come on! No mulligan. Come on!
1278 00:51:16,240 00:51:17,782 You had, like, five mulligans. Dude. You had, like, five mulligans. Dude.
1279 00:51:17,950 00:51:20,076 I'm not talking about bad stuff, either, okay? I'm not talking about bad stuff, either, okay?
1280 00:51:20,160 00:51:21,202 I'm just talking about good stuff. I'm just talking about good stuff.
1281 00:51:21,287 00:51:24,914 Like keeping Manimal on the air, you know? Like keeping Manimal on the air, you know?
1282 00:51:24,999 00:51:26,207 Or preventing Miley Cyrus. Or preventing Miley Cyrus.
1283 00:51:26,292 00:51:27,917 Preventing her from what? Preventing her from what?
1284 00:51:28,002 00:51:29,210 Just preventing her. Just preventing her.
1285 00:51:29,295 00:51:32,088 MALE ANNOUNCER: (ON TV) And there's the catch! First down! MALE ANNOUNCER: (ON TV) And there's the catch! First down!
1286 00:51:32,172 00:51:33,506 (ALL CHEERING) (ALL CHEERING)
1287 00:51:37,344 00:51:38,761 Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
1288 00:51:39,430 00:51:40,638 I know this game. I know this game.
1289 00:51:40,723 00:51:41,848 Yeah? Yeah?
1290 00:51:41,932 00:51:43,766 Yeah. This is the Denver-Cleveland playoff game. Yeah. This is the Denver-Cleveland playoff game.
1291 00:51:43,934 00:51:45,518 This is the fucking Drive, man. This is the fucking Drive, man.
1292 00:51:45,603 00:51:46,686 Yeah? Yeah?
1293 00:51:48,689 00:51:50,189 I know what we're gonna do. I know what we're gonna do.
1294 00:51:52,151 00:51:54,110 (I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS PLAYING) (I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS PLAYING)
1295 00:51:56,864 00:51:59,532 Adam, hey. You're back. Awesome. Adam, hey. You're back. Awesome.
1296 00:51:59,992 00:52:02,243 What's going on here? Where are the guys? What's going on here? Where are the guys?
1297 00:52:03,370 00:52:04,871 What's this? Read it. What's this? Read it.
1298 00:52:05,039 00:52:07,665 "Dear Adam, you are a super-terrific guy and I love you, "Dear Adam, you are a super-terrific guy and I love you,
1299 00:52:07,750 00:52:11,461 "which is why this is so hard for me. I cherish our friendship." "which is why this is so hard for me. I cherish our friendship."
1300 00:52:12,171 00:52:13,296 (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS)
1301 00:52:13,380 00:52:14,964 She broke up with you? She broke up with you?
1302 00:52:15,132 00:52:17,508 And you still fucking got stabbed in the eye? And you still fucking got stabbed in the eye?
1303 00:52:17,885 00:52:19,552 Leave me alone. Get out of here. Leave me alone. Get out of here.
1304 00:52:19,762 00:52:21,596 What are you doing here? You writing poetry? What are you doing here? You writing poetry?
1305 00:52:21,680 00:52:23,556 Just leave me alone and get out of here. No. Just leave me alone and get out of here. No.
1306 00:52:23,641 00:52:25,308 You're writing fucking break-up poetry. You're writing fucking break-up poetry.
1307 00:52:25,392 00:52:27,727 All right, I'm writing break-up poetry, okay? All right, I'm writing break-up poetry, okay?
1308 00:52:28,729 00:52:30,188 Because my heart hurts. Because my heart hurts.
1309 00:52:30,397 00:52:31,439 She stabbed me in my heart and my eye. She stabbed me in my heart and my eye.
1310 00:52:31,523 00:52:32,523 Holy shit, you're wasted. Holy shit, you're wasted.
1311 00:52:32,608 00:52:35,944 Look, I've had like two wine kills, Captain Buzzcooler. Look, I've had like two wine kills, Captain Buzzcooler.
1312 00:52:36,028 00:52:37,695 God. You're fucked up. God. You're fucked up.
1313 00:52:39,031 00:52:41,824 "Jenny's eyes, like a gypsy's lies Cut right through the night "Jenny's eyes, like a gypsy's lies Cut right through the night
1314 00:52:41,909 00:52:44,118 "Now those eyes are another guy's And I'm alone with my pain" "Now those eyes are another guy's And I'm alone with my pain"
1315 00:52:44,203 00:52:45,328 That was clean. That was clean.
1316 00:52:45,412 00:52:47,413 Are you shitting me with this, Adam? Are you shitting me with this, Adam?
1317 00:52:48,749 00:52:49,958 Look, you can recite it straight Look, you can recite it straight
1318 00:52:50,042 00:52:51,417 or to the tune of Sweet Child O' Mine. or to the tune of Sweet Child O' Mine.
1319 00:52:51,502 00:52:52,585 It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
1320 00:52:52,670 00:52:56,005 Are these mushrooms? Did you eat these mushrooms, Adam? Are these mushrooms? Did you eat these mushrooms, Adam?
1321 00:52:56,090 00:52:58,633 I like to eat them, you know? A couple of them. I like to eat them, you know? A couple of them.
1322 00:52:58,717 00:53:00,426 Holy fuck, man, you gotta stay straight! Holy fuck, man, you gotta stay straight!
1323 00:53:00,552 00:53:02,428 You gotta help me get the guys back! Just relax. You gotta help me get the guys back! Just relax.
1324 00:53:02,513 00:53:04,263 You know, it's not always about my emotional journey. You know, it's not always about my emotional journey.
1325 00:53:04,348 00:53:05,848 It could be about yours. Put the coke down! It could be about yours. Put the coke down!
1326 00:53:05,933 00:53:07,433 God damn it, you little fucker! Give it to me! God damn it, you little fucker! Give it to me!
1327 00:53:07,518 00:53:10,186 Don't you fucking get it? I'm not gonna be fucking born! Don't you fucking get it? I'm not gonna be fucking born!
1328 00:53:10,270 00:53:11,604 (EXPLOSION) (EXPLOSION)
1329 00:53:13,816 00:53:16,442 How much worse can it get? How much worse can it get?
1330 00:53:16,610 00:53:18,236 What? The '80s? What? The '80s?
1331 00:53:18,821 00:53:20,697 New part shorted out another part. New part shorted out another part.
1332 00:53:20,781 00:53:22,699 I hope we can get that thing working before dawn. I hope we can get that thing working before dawn.
1333 00:53:22,783 00:53:23,866 Wait, wait, hold on, Wait, wait, hold on,
1334 00:53:23,951 00:53:25,743 is that when the time portal closes, at dawn? is that when the time portal closes, at dawn?
1335 00:53:25,828 00:53:27,203 That's when the party's over. That's when the party's over.
1336 00:53:27,287 00:53:28,705 Fuck you, man. Listen. Fuck you, man. Listen.
1337 00:53:28,789 00:53:31,207 I am at my wit's end with him, so you gotta level with me. I am at my wit's end with him, so you gotta level with me.
1338 00:53:31,291 00:53:33,584 Are you the mystical time-travel guide-guy or not? Are you the mystical time-travel guide-guy or not?
1339 00:53:33,669 00:53:35,920 Don't you put your hands on me, young lady! Don't you put your hands on me, young lady!
1340 00:53:37,089 00:53:38,965 I'm just trying to do my job, here. I'm just trying to do my job, here.
1341 00:53:39,049 00:53:41,134 Fuck, hold on. Quit eating mushrooms, man! Fuck, hold on. Quit eating mushrooms, man!
1342 00:53:41,260 00:53:42,969 I wanna have a few more. I wanna have a few more.
1343 00:53:45,305 00:53:48,307 What the fuck is happening to me? I can't... What the fuck is happening to me? I can't...
1344 00:53:49,143 00:53:50,143 Dawn. Dawn.
1345 00:53:50,227 00:53:51,519 (THUNDER CRASHING) (THUNDER CRASHING)
1346 00:53:53,981 00:53:55,064 Hey, Adam. Hey, Adam.
1347 00:53:55,149 00:53:58,067 All right, so anyway, the repairman's doing his thing. All right, so anyway, the repairman's doing his thing.
1348 00:53:58,152 00:53:59,360 I'm gonna go find Nick and Lou, I'm gonna go find Nick and Lou,
1349 00:53:59,445 00:54:00,862 and you stay right here. Okay? and you stay right here. Okay?
1350 00:54:00,946 00:54:01,904 I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna stay.
1351 00:54:01,989 00:54:03,573 You got it, but you can't leave. You got it, but you can't leave.
1352 00:54:03,657 00:54:06,159 I can't move, because I'm broken. I can't move, because I'm broken.
1353 00:54:06,952 00:54:08,786 Man, you and my mom are so fucked. Man, you and my mom are so fucked.
1354 00:54:09,705 00:54:10,955 (INHALES DEEPLY) (INHALES DEEPLY)
1355 00:54:11,040 00:54:12,498 Hungry. Hungry.
1356 00:54:14,168 00:54:15,168 Evening. Evening.
1357 00:54:15,252 00:54:16,419 You've got two arms. You've got two arms.
1358 00:54:17,171 00:54:19,088 But you're not going to. You're gonna lose one. But you're not going to. You're gonna lose one.
1359 00:54:19,673 00:54:20,715 What? What?
1360 00:54:20,799 00:54:22,175 You're gonna lose that arm. You're gonna lose that arm.
1361 00:54:24,178 00:54:25,553 (LAUGHING) You're one of those joker guys. (LAUGHING) You're one of those joker guys.
1362 00:54:25,637 00:54:26,679 Right. Right. Right. Right.
1363 00:54:26,764 00:54:29,432 I don't care if you put that arm in a steel fucking vault, I don't care if you put that arm in a steel fucking vault,
1364 00:54:29,516 00:54:31,184 that arm's coming off! that arm's coming off!
1365 00:54:31,518 00:54:32,810 You're gonna lose your arm. You're gonna lose your arm.
1366 00:54:32,895 00:54:34,270 You're gonna lose your arm! You're gonna lose your arm!
1367 00:54:34,354 00:54:35,646 I'm gonna rape you. I'm gonna rape you! I'm gonna rape you. I'm gonna rape you!
1368 00:54:35,731 00:54:37,899 I'm gonna rape you. I'm gonna rape you. I'm gonna rape you. I'm gonna rape you.
1369 00:54:37,983 00:54:39,650 Have a great night. Okay. Have a great night. Okay.
1370 00:54:39,985 00:54:41,694 MALE ANNOUNCER: (ON TV) ...to the end zone. Touchdown Cleveland! MALE ANNOUNCER: (ON TV) ...to the end zone. Touchdown Cleveland!
1371 00:54:41,945 00:54:43,112 (ALL EXCLAIMING) (ALL EXCLAIMING)
1372 00:54:44,323 00:54:46,157 LOU: Pay up, suckers! Pay up! LOU: Pay up, suckers! Pay up!
1373 00:54:46,241 00:54:49,660 How does he do it? How is he right all the time? How does he do it? How is he right all the time?
1374 00:54:49,745 00:54:51,412 Let me ask you something, McFly. Let me ask you something, McFly.
1375 00:54:52,206 00:54:53,456 How you getting so lucky? How you getting so lucky?
1376 00:54:53,540 00:54:55,541 I know the fucking future, douche bag. I know the fucking future, douche bag.
1377 00:54:55,709 00:54:57,335 Really? One more bet. Really? One more bet.
1378 00:54:57,419 00:55:00,088 Ricky, come on. You said one more and then you'd be done. Ricky, come on. You said one more and then you'd be done.
1379 00:55:00,380 00:55:02,632 I also said to shut the fuck up. Remember that? I also said to shut the fuck up. Remember that?
1380 00:55:02,716 00:55:04,592 Okay, I love you. Shut the fuck up. Okay, I love you. Shut the fuck up.
1381 00:55:04,802 00:55:05,968 By the way, I love your coat. By the way, I love your coat.
1382 00:55:06,053 00:55:07,887 I don't give a shit about animals, either, so... I don't give a shit about animals, either, so...
1383 00:55:08,388 00:55:09,847 One more bet. High stakes. One more bet. High stakes.
1384 00:55:09,932 00:55:12,433 All right. All right. Bring it on, Spader. All right. All right. Bring it on, Spader.
1385 00:55:12,518 00:55:14,060 Bring it on, Jo-Jo. Bring it on, Jo-Jo.
1386 00:55:14,186 00:55:15,978 I bet Elway throws a touchdown pass I bet Elway throws a touchdown pass
1387 00:55:16,063 00:55:17,897 with 37 seconds left on the clock. with 37 seconds left on the clock.
1388 00:55:18,065 00:55:20,316 Fat chance, asshole. Elway's done nothing all day. Fat chance, asshole. Elway's done nothing all day.
1389 00:55:20,400 00:55:23,694 Well then, in the spirit of high stakes, let's make it interesting. Well then, in the spirit of high stakes, let's make it interesting.
1390 00:55:23,779 00:55:24,821 Let's make it interesting. Let's make it interesting.
1391 00:55:24,905 00:55:28,491 If I win, your wife gives me a blowjob. If I win, your wife gives me a blowjob.
1392 00:55:28,909 00:55:30,118 RICKY: Really? RICKY: Really?
1393 00:55:30,202 00:55:31,369 A classy one. A classy one.
1394 00:55:34,164 00:55:35,790 Hey, screw you, kid. Hey, okay, Hey, screw you, kid. Hey, okay,
1395 00:55:35,874 00:55:38,209 and if you win, name your price. and if you win, name your price.
1396 00:55:39,753 00:55:41,754 Touchdown pass at 37 seconds, exactly? Touchdown pass at 37 seconds, exactly?
1397 00:55:41,839 00:55:43,256 LOU: Exactly. LOU: Exactly.
1398 00:55:44,049 00:55:45,258 Fine. Fine.
1399 00:55:45,509 00:55:46,926 You lose, I take all your winnings. You lose, I take all your winnings.
1400 00:55:47,010 00:55:48,052 Done. Done.
1401 00:55:48,137 00:55:49,512 And you give your buddy a blowjob. And you give your buddy a blowjob.
1402 00:55:49,596 00:55:51,514 What? Hell, no. What? Hell, no.
1403 00:55:51,598 00:55:52,765 Wow! Wow!
1404 00:55:52,850 00:55:53,933 Deal. Deal? Deal. Deal?
1405 00:55:53,976 00:55:55,726 Well done. I like your style. I like your style. Well done. I like your style. I like your style.
1406 00:55:55,811 00:55:56,894 He's very creative. He's very creative.
1407 00:55:56,979 00:55:59,397 I don't like you taking liberties with my dick. I don't like you taking liberties with my dick.
1408 00:55:59,565 00:56:01,023 Relax, okay? Relax, okay?
1409 00:56:01,108 00:56:03,609 We know the fucking future. We can't lose. We know the fucking future. We can't lose.
1410 00:56:06,572 00:56:10,616 Hey. Hey, there. What are you doing? Hey. Hey, there. What are you doing?
1411 00:56:11,368 00:56:12,827 Hi. Hey. Hi. Hey.
1412 00:56:13,662 00:56:15,246 Okay, how's the view from down there? Okay, how's the view from down there?
1413 00:56:18,125 00:56:19,125 (SIGHS) (SIGHS)
1414 00:56:19,209 00:56:20,626 It's nice. It's nice.
1415 00:56:22,296 00:56:23,504 Adam, right? Adam, right?
1416 00:56:24,715 00:56:25,840 Yeah. Yeah.
1417 00:56:25,924 00:56:27,383 Why are you bleeding in the snow? Why are you bleeding in the snow?
1418 00:56:27,467 00:56:28,593 That? No, I... That? No, I...
1419 00:56:28,677 00:56:31,304 I got stabbed in the face with a fork. I got stabbed in the face with a fork.
1420 00:56:31,847 00:56:34,807 I saw it coming and I avoided it. I mean, I didn't avoid it. I saw it coming and I avoided it. I mean, I didn't avoid it.
1421 00:56:35,017 00:56:37,935 It just happened again to me in a slightly different way. It just happened again to me in a slightly different way.
1422 00:56:38,395 00:56:41,522 Boy, I really wish I knew what the fuck you were talking about. Boy, I really wish I knew what the fuck you were talking about.
1423 00:56:43,192 00:56:45,735 All the choices we make in our life, they're pointless. All the choices we make in our life, they're pointless.
1424 00:56:45,819 00:56:47,695 There's no escaping the inevitable. There's no escaping the inevitable.
1425 00:56:48,197 00:56:49,655 I don't know, man. I don't know, man.
1426 00:56:52,326 00:56:55,912 So, you're saying that your whole entire life is predetermined to suck, So, you're saying that your whole entire life is predetermined to suck,
1427 00:56:55,996 00:56:57,205 no matter what you do? no matter what you do?
1428 00:56:57,289 00:56:58,706 It's not the way I want it, but... It's not the way I want it, but...
1429 00:56:58,874 00:57:01,459 Kind of seems like a really, really good excuse Kind of seems like a really, really good excuse
1430 00:57:01,543 00:57:04,629 to do something totally amazing right now, tonight. to do something totally amazing right now, tonight.
1431 00:57:06,089 00:57:07,298 Like what? Like what?
1432 00:57:07,966 00:57:12,136 Like perhaps hang out with a girl that you just met Like perhaps hang out with a girl that you just met
1433 00:57:12,221 00:57:14,597 before her bus has to leave in two hours? before her bus has to leave in two hours?
1434 00:57:15,182 00:57:16,265 Right-o. Right-o.
1435 00:57:17,267 00:57:18,976 I thought you said we were going to get some food. I thought you said we were going to get some food.
1436 00:57:19,061 00:57:22,021 We are. We're about to get some food. We are. We're about to get some food.
1437 00:57:22,105 00:57:24,690 I'm pretty hungry, actually. I'm pretty hungry, actually.
1438 00:57:24,858 00:57:27,109 Damn it. They forgot to leave the key. Damn it. They forgot to leave the key.
1439 00:57:27,277 00:57:28,361 Who did? Who did?
1440 00:57:28,445 00:57:31,906 Carol and Stan Stapleton. They're my friends. They live here, Carol and Stan Stapleton. They're my friends. They live here,
1441 00:57:31,990 00:57:34,784 and I housesit for them when they go to Nepal, sometimes. and I housesit for them when they go to Nepal, sometimes.
1442 00:57:34,952 00:57:36,827 I thought you said you came in here on a bus. I thought you said you came in here on a bus.
1443 00:57:36,912 00:57:39,997 They usually do leave, like, a side door open. They usually do leave, like, a side door open.
1444 00:57:40,207 00:57:42,041 They do? So let me... I'll be right back. They do? So let me... I'll be right back.
1445 00:57:42,376 00:57:43,376 Okay. Okay.
1446 00:57:43,710 00:57:44,752 (GLASS SHATTERING) (GLASS SHATTERING)
1447 00:57:44,836 00:57:46,712 APRIL: Yep, it's unlocked. APRIL: Yep, it's unlocked.
1448 00:57:51,468 00:57:52,677 Cheers. Cheers.
1449 00:57:53,220 00:57:55,388 So which one's Carol? So which one's Carol?
1450 00:57:58,350 00:57:59,642 Carol's on the left. Carol's on the left.
1451 00:58:00,811 00:58:03,062 MALE ANNOUNCER: Elway's last stand. 45 seconds left on the clock. MALE ANNOUNCER: Elway's last stand. 45 seconds left on the clock.
1452 00:58:03,397 00:58:05,815 I'm really good at getting head. You'll see. I'm really good at getting head. You'll see.
1453 00:58:07,067 00:58:08,484 Elway takes the snap. Go, baby. Elway takes the snap. Go, baby.
1454 00:58:08,568 00:58:11,821 He fades back. Elway fires. He's got Jackson open. He fades back. Elway fires. He's got Jackson open.
1455 00:58:11,905 00:58:13,656 He's impossibly open! He's impossibly open!
1456 00:58:13,740 00:58:15,324 Wait, what's this? Vermin? Wait, what's this? Vermin?
1457 00:58:15,409 00:58:16,909 No, no, no! I know this squirrel. No, no, no! I know this squirrel.
1458 00:58:16,994 00:58:18,995 That's a magic fucking squirrel. This doesn't count. That's a magic fucking squirrel. This doesn't count.
1459 00:58:19,079 00:58:20,371 He's distracted by a wild squirrel! He's distracted by a wild squirrel!
1460 00:58:20,455 00:58:21,497 LOU: What the fuck? LOU: What the fuck?
1461 00:58:21,581 00:58:24,458 Incomplete! Game's over! Cleveland wins! Incomplete! Game's over! Cleveland wins!
1462 00:58:24,543 00:58:26,794 The Dawg Pound is going to the Super Bowl. The Dawg Pound is going to the Super Bowl.
1463 00:58:26,878 00:58:28,004 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
1464 00:58:28,088 00:58:29,547 I've never seen anything like it! I've never seen anything like it!
1465 00:58:30,882 00:58:32,008 He did it. Got to go! He did it. Got to go!
1466 00:58:32,092 00:58:33,509 Congratulations. Look at all that money. Congratulations. Look at all that money.
1467 00:58:33,593 00:58:36,804 I was kidding about the blowjob thing. Obviously, we're comedians. I was kidding about the blowjob thing. Obviously, we're comedians.
1468 00:58:36,888 00:58:38,389 Hey, guys. Guys. Hey, guys. Guys.
1469 00:58:39,099 00:58:40,474 A bet's a bet. A bet's a bet.
1470 00:58:42,769 00:58:44,603 Motherfucker! Motherfucker!
1471 00:58:45,939 00:58:47,189 APRIL: So you're a Time Lord? APRIL: So you're a Time Lord?
1472 00:58:47,274 00:58:48,399 ADAM: Mmm-hmm. ADAM: Mmm-hmm.
1473 00:58:48,483 00:58:51,485 And a Jacuzzi is your spaceship? And a Jacuzzi is your spaceship?
1474 00:58:52,321 00:58:53,529 That is correct, madam. That is correct, madam.
1475 00:58:53,697 00:58:55,448 That's the only part of this whole thing That's the only part of this whole thing
1476 00:58:55,532 00:58:57,199 that doesn't make sense to me. that doesn't make sense to me.
1477 00:58:57,284 00:58:59,744 You're not the only one. Believe me. You're not the only one. Believe me.
1478 00:58:59,828 00:59:02,663 I mean, the whole thing is just totally insane. I mean, the whole thing is just totally insane.
1479 00:59:02,789 00:59:03,831 Ew! Ew!
1480 00:59:05,167 00:59:07,084 So, how's the future working out for you? So, how's the future working out for you?
1481 00:59:07,169 00:59:09,670 I mean, are you like a happy grownup? I mean, are you like a happy grownup?
1482 00:59:10,005 00:59:11,047 Not particularly, no. Not particularly, no.
1483 00:59:11,131 00:59:12,131 Yeah. Yeah.
1484 00:59:12,215 00:59:14,633 My friends actually think I ended up being My friends actually think I ended up being
1485 00:59:14,718 00:59:17,094 a completely selfish, fucked-up person. a completely selfish, fucked-up person.
1486 00:59:17,888 00:59:19,889 And they may have a point, actually, if I think about it. And they may have a point, actually, if I think about it.
1487 00:59:19,973 00:59:21,015 Hmm... Hmm...
1488 00:59:21,099 00:59:23,434 I'll tell you something I haven't told somebody for a long time. I'll tell you something I haven't told somebody for a long time.
1489 00:59:23,727 00:59:24,894 When I was a kid, When I was a kid,
1490 00:59:24,978 00:59:28,147 every Friday night, my father used to take my sister Kelly and me every Friday night, my father used to take my sister Kelly and me
1491 00:59:28,231 00:59:31,859 to this place called Flatirons for steak sandwiches. to this place called Flatirons for steak sandwiches.
1492 00:59:31,943 00:59:32,985 It was a family tradition. It was a family tradition.
1493 00:59:33,070 00:59:34,862 That's sometimes a good thing. That's sometimes a good thing.
1494 00:59:35,030 00:59:37,573 But one year, we saw this commercial But one year, we saw this commercial
1495 00:59:38,200 00:59:40,826 for this place called The Enchanted Forest of Pizza. for this place called The Enchanted Forest of Pizza.
1496 00:59:41,495 00:59:45,122 So the next Friday, my dad's loading us up into the car. So the next Friday, my dad's loading us up into the car.
1497 00:59:45,290 00:59:48,292 We're like, "Daddy, we want to go to The Enchanted Forest of Pizza." We're like, "Daddy, we want to go to The Enchanted Forest of Pizza."
1498 00:59:48,377 00:59:50,086 And he's like, "What are you talking about? And he's like, "What are you talking about?
1499 00:59:50,170 00:59:52,171 "We always go for steak sandwiches." "We always go for steak sandwiches."
1500 00:59:52,255 00:59:53,923 But we just stay at him But we just stay at him
1501 00:59:54,007 00:59:56,967 and we're whining, and we're badgering, and finally he relents. and we're whining, and we're badgering, and finally he relents.
1502 00:59:57,052 00:59:58,511 Nice. So, you win. Nice. So, you win.
1503 00:59:58,595 01:00:01,263 You deviated from the plan in a really big way. That's good. You deviated from the plan in a really big way. That's good.
1504 01:00:02,224 01:00:04,308 33 people died of E. Coli. 33 people died of E. Coli.
1505 01:00:05,560 01:00:06,977 Including my father. Including my father.
1506 01:00:07,521 01:00:09,647 Before he died, he looked at me and he said, Before he died, he looked at me and he said,
1507 01:00:09,815 01:00:11,315 "Adam, you did this." "Adam, you did this."
1508 01:00:11,483 01:00:12,858 No, he didn't. No, he didn't.
1509 01:00:13,026 01:00:14,193 Yes, he did, Yes, he did,
1510 01:00:14,569 01:00:15,611 with his eyes. with his eyes.
1511 01:00:15,695 01:00:18,447 I don't think that that's what he meant with his eyes. I don't think that that's what he meant with his eyes.
1512 01:00:18,532 01:00:22,451 The point is that Kelly and I dealt with the guilt of this in very different ways. The point is that Kelly and I dealt with the guilt of this in very different ways.
1513 01:00:22,619 01:00:24,036 She went wild, right? She went wild, right?
1514 01:00:24,204 01:00:25,871 She didn't want to have control over anything. She didn't want to have control over anything.
1515 01:00:26,039 01:00:28,290 But I vowed to master the chaos, But I vowed to master the chaos,
1516 01:00:28,375 01:00:30,126 to impose order. Adam, I really don't think to impose order. Adam, I really don't think
1517 01:00:30,210 01:00:33,879 that you can let a poison pizza ruin the rest of your life. that you can let a poison pizza ruin the rest of your life.
1518 01:00:34,423 01:00:37,258 You got to embrace the chaos. You have to. You got to embrace the chaos. You have to.
1519 01:00:37,426 01:00:40,970 That way, life might just astonish you. That way, life might just astonish you.
1520 01:00:50,439 01:00:52,314 MAN 1: I had so much fun tonight. MAN 2: I know! MAN 1: I had so much fun tonight. MAN 2: I know!
1521 01:00:52,399 01:00:53,732 Fuck! Game on. Fuck! Game on.
1522 01:00:56,236 01:00:57,236 MAN 2: You look so hot, by the way. MAN 1: Thanks. MAN 2: You look so hot, by the way. MAN 1: Thanks.
1523 01:00:58,613 01:01:00,573 I said, start sucking, gaylord. I said, start sucking, gaylord.
1524 01:01:01,199 01:01:03,242 Yeah! Suck! Yeah! Suck!
1525 01:01:03,326 01:01:04,452 MAN: Suck that shit, man! MAN: Suck that shit, man!
1526 01:01:04,536 01:01:07,830 ALL: (CHANTING) Suck! Suck! Suck! Suck! Suck! Suck! ALL: (CHANTING) Suck! Suck! Suck! Suck! Suck! Suck!
1527 01:01:07,914 01:01:09,832 Who are you people? Who are you people?
1528 01:01:09,916 01:01:12,209 God, who are you people? God, who are you people?
1529 01:01:12,294 01:01:14,295 Let's get on with this. My fondue's getting cold. Let's get on with this. My fondue's getting cold.
1530 01:01:14,379 01:01:15,880 MAN: Choke on that horn, man! MAN: Choke on that horn, man!
1531 01:01:17,132 01:01:18,257 (GROANING) (GROANING)
1532 01:01:19,759 01:01:20,801 Oh! Oh!
1533 01:01:20,886 01:01:22,720 Wow, good for you. Wow, good for you.
1534 01:01:22,804 01:01:23,888 I know, right? I know, right?
1535 01:01:23,972 01:01:26,515 It's like Gary Coleman's fucking forearm. It's like Gary Coleman's fucking forearm.
1536 01:01:26,600 01:01:28,601 It's so black! It's so black!
1537 01:01:28,727 01:01:31,187 It's so impossibly black. It's so impossibly black.
1538 01:01:32,272 01:01:34,648 I love you, buddy. Don't say that! I love you, buddy. Don't say that!
1539 01:01:34,733 01:01:36,066 I'm sorry, I do. I'm sorry, I do.
1540 01:01:36,985 01:01:38,194 No, no, no! No, no, no!
1541 01:01:38,528 01:01:39,945 (CROWD CONTINUES CHANTING) (CROWD CONTINUES CHANTING)
1542 01:01:50,624 01:01:52,541 Hey, you. Hey, you.
1543 01:01:52,959 01:01:55,211 Maybe what you need isn't in here, after all. Maybe what you need isn't in here, after all.
1544 01:01:55,378 01:01:59,507 Maybe what you need has always been in here. Maybe what you need has always been in here.
1545 01:01:59,925 01:02:01,342 Really? No. Really? No.
1546 01:02:04,721 01:02:06,639 The tub? Is it fixed yet? The tub? Is it fixed yet?
1547 01:02:06,806 01:02:08,807 Can be. Ready to go? Can be. Ready to go?
1548 01:02:08,892 01:02:10,100 Wait, go where? Wait, go where?
1549 01:02:10,185 01:02:12,228 To the room, check it out. I've got the part right here. To the room, check it out. I've got the part right here.
1550 01:02:12,312 01:02:13,479 Yeah. Yeah, let's go. Yeah. Yeah, let's go.
1551 01:02:13,563 01:02:14,647 Let's go. Right. Let's go. Right.
1552 01:02:19,069 01:02:21,111 Where did he go? Who? Where did he go? Who?
1553 01:02:21,196 01:02:22,821 This fucking guy. This fucking guy.
1554 01:02:24,241 01:02:26,742 Nicholas. Nicholas.
1555 01:02:28,036 01:02:30,412 Nicky. Nicholas. Nicky. Nicholas.
1556 01:02:31,748 01:02:34,041 Hey! There he is! Hey! There he is!
1557 01:02:34,584 01:02:36,001 What? What the fuck? What? What the fuck?
1558 01:02:36,086 01:02:37,211 What? What? What? What?
1559 01:02:37,337 01:02:38,420 (SCREAMING) (SCREAMING)
1560 01:02:38,505 01:02:40,506 What, do I still have some on my face? What, do I still have some on my face?
1561 01:02:41,550 01:02:42,925 Oh, God! Oh, God!
1562 01:02:43,009 01:02:44,260 Damn! Damn!
1563 01:02:45,554 01:02:47,221 Did you have pineapple today? Did you have pineapple today?
1564 01:02:47,305 01:02:49,640 I can't go home. What the fuck? I can't go home. What the fuck?
1565 01:02:50,058 01:02:51,850 I'm fucking with you, dude. I'm fucking with you, dude.
1566 01:02:51,935 01:02:53,143 It's hand soap. It's hand soap.
1567 01:02:54,354 01:02:56,438 Oh, my God. Relax. Oh, my God. Relax.
1568 01:02:56,523 01:02:58,274 It's like you haven't seen a little come It's like you haven't seen a little come
1569 01:02:58,358 01:03:00,234 on your friend's face before, or something. on your friend's face before, or something.
1570 01:03:00,318 01:03:02,111 NICK: What the fuck is wrong with you, man? NICK: What the fuck is wrong with you, man?
1571 01:03:02,195 01:03:04,863 LOU: I'm just kidding. It's what friends do. God! LOU: I'm just kidding. It's what friends do. God!
1572 01:03:04,948 01:03:06,115 You didn't? You didn't?
1573 01:03:06,199 01:03:08,576 Gargle your hog? No, man. Gargle your hog? No, man.
1574 01:03:09,035 01:03:11,161 After they pulled you off of me, me and Rick talked it out. After they pulled you off of me, me and Rick talked it out.
1575 01:03:11,246 01:03:12,746 He's actually a pretty cool guy. He's actually a pretty cool guy.
1576 01:03:12,831 01:03:16,375 We have a lot in common. We both love tits and Mötley Crüe. We have a lot in common. We both love tits and Mötley Crüe.
1577 01:03:16,543 01:03:17,751 It's cool? It's cool?
1578 01:03:17,836 01:03:19,378 Yeah, I just told him a bunch of shit Yeah, I just told him a bunch of shit
1579 01:03:19,462 01:03:21,005 that's gonna make him rich in the future. that's gonna make him rich in the future.
1580 01:03:21,172 01:03:23,215 I saved the good stuff for us. I saved the good stuff for us.
1581 01:03:23,967 01:03:26,427 Let's go to the bar, plan our empire. Let's go to the bar, plan our empire.
1582 01:03:27,971 01:03:29,430 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1583 01:03:31,391 01:03:34,643 Fucking iPods, you know? Fucking Prius. Fucking iPods, you know? Fucking Prius.
1584 01:03:35,061 01:03:38,689 Match. Com. Anything. Com. Fucking Internet. Com! Match. Com. Anything. Com. Fucking Internet. Com!
1585 01:03:38,857 01:03:43,110 Fucking Zac Efron. Nobody invented him yet. Fucking Zac Efron. Nobody invented him yet.
1586 01:03:43,194 01:03:45,988 What about Twitter? Whatever the fuck that is. What about Twitter? Whatever the fuck that is.
1587 01:03:46,072 01:03:50,618 Hey, we could combine Twitter with fucking Viagra. Hey, we could combine Twitter with fucking Viagra.
1588 01:03:51,745 01:03:53,203 Twitt-agra. Twitt-agra.
1589 01:03:54,581 01:03:55,956 What's the matter, dude? Come on. What's the matter, dude? Come on.
1590 01:03:56,041 01:03:59,293 I'm sorry, man. I'm just preoccupied. I'm sorry, man. I'm just preoccupied.
1591 01:03:59,753 01:04:02,838 You just kind of down about being black and out of shape? You just kind of down about being black and out of shape?
1592 01:04:02,964 01:04:05,007 What the fuck is wrong with you? No. What the fuck is wrong with you? No.
1593 01:04:05,091 01:04:06,759 Because you look good, you know? Because you look good, you know?
1594 01:04:06,843 01:04:08,719 This is a great time for black people. This is a great time for black people.
1595 01:04:09,095 01:04:10,095 I mean our time, not this time. I mean our time, not this time.
1596 01:04:10,180 01:04:11,555 This is a terrible time for black people. This is a terrible time for black people.
1597 01:04:11,640 01:04:13,891 I don't see one other black person in here. I don't see one other black person in here.
1598 01:04:15,143 01:04:16,435 Talk to me, man. Talk to me, man.
1599 01:04:16,686 01:04:18,187 I found out she fucking cheated. I found out she fucking cheated.
1600 01:04:18,355 01:04:21,315 What? Courtney's fucking cheating on you? What? Courtney's fucking cheating on you?
1601 01:04:21,650 01:04:24,735 I gave her my life, I gave up my passion. I gave her my life, I gave up my passion.
1602 01:04:24,944 01:04:26,195 And she's just out there... And she's just out there...
1603 01:04:26,279 01:04:28,155 Why the fuck didn't you say something, man? Why the fuck didn't you say something, man?
1604 01:04:28,239 01:04:31,450 That's just it! I never see you guys anymore. That's just it! I never see you guys anymore.
1605 01:04:31,910 01:04:34,495 I don't have my music, I barely have friends. I don't have my music, I barely have friends.
1606 01:04:34,996 01:04:36,205 Without Courtney, Without Courtney,
1607 01:04:36,873 01:04:37,956 I'm nothing. I'm nothing.
1608 01:04:38,041 01:04:40,292 You're just fucking Courtney's bitch right now. You're just fucking Courtney's bitch right now.
1609 01:04:40,377 01:04:42,878 You need to be your own man, you know? You need to be your own man, you know?
1610 01:04:43,046 01:04:44,838 "Nick Webber-Agnew"? What the fuck is that? "Nick Webber-Agnew"? What the fuck is that?
1611 01:04:44,923 01:04:46,298 It's terrible. It doesn't work. It's terrible. It doesn't work.
1612 01:04:46,383 01:04:48,967 No. Nick Webber, that's who you are. No. Nick Webber, that's who you are.
1613 01:04:49,761 01:04:51,220 That's who I was. That's who I was.
1614 01:04:51,513 01:04:53,472 Maybe you gotta find him again. Maybe you gotta find him again.
1615 01:04:53,765 01:04:57,101 You know, she's getting hers, you go get yours. You know, she's getting hers, you go get yours.
1616 01:04:57,936 01:04:59,311 I can't, man. I can't, man.
1617 01:04:59,479 01:05:01,105 It means something to me to be married. It means something to me to be married.
1618 01:05:01,189 01:05:03,148 You're not fucking married. It's 1986. You're not fucking married. It's 1986.
1619 01:05:03,233 01:05:04,274 In my heart I am. In my heart I am.
1620 01:05:04,359 01:05:05,818 Your heart's a fucking liar. Your heart's a fucking liar.
1621 01:05:14,994 01:05:17,830 You know what? You know what you got to do? You know what? You know what you got to do?
1622 01:05:17,997 01:05:19,039 What? What?
1623 01:05:19,582 01:05:21,667 You gotta get your ass up on that stage. You gotta get your ass up on that stage.
1624 01:05:23,336 01:05:24,503 You're right. You're right.
1625 01:05:26,005 01:05:27,005 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.
1626 01:05:27,090 01:05:28,132 Yeah. Do it. Yeah. Do it.
1627 01:05:28,216 01:05:31,343 Hey, hey, hey. Do it fucking quickly, okay? Hey, hey, hey. Do it fucking quickly, okay?
1628 01:05:31,511 01:05:32,720 You better be at that fight with me. You better be at that fight with me.
1629 01:05:32,804 01:05:33,762 Don't leave me hanging this time. Don't leave me hanging this time.
1630 01:05:33,847 01:05:35,347 I won't. I promise. All right. I won't. I promise. All right.
1631 01:05:35,849 01:05:38,267 Hey, Adam. Fuck. Hey, Adam. Fuck.
1632 01:05:41,688 01:05:42,855 Guys? Guys?
1633 01:05:43,523 01:05:44,690 (WATER BUBBLING) (WATER BUBBLING)
1634 01:05:48,695 01:05:49,945 You're good to go. You're good to go.
1635 01:05:50,572 01:05:51,655 Holy shit. Really? Holy shit. Really?
1636 01:05:51,740 01:05:53,532 Some sort of sticky liquid got into Some sort of sticky liquid got into
1637 01:05:53,616 01:05:56,034 the crossover housing, I don't know. the crossover housing, I don't know.
1638 01:05:56,202 01:05:58,203 Must have had some nitratriminium in it. Must have had some nitratriminium in it.
1639 01:05:59,205 01:06:00,539 It's Chernobly. It's Chernobly.
1640 01:06:00,623 01:06:03,459 Whatever it was, it ravaged the hell out of the electronics. Whatever it was, it ravaged the hell out of the electronics.
1641 01:06:03,543 01:06:05,753 Worked out for you and the boys, though. Worked out for you and the boys, though.
1642 01:06:05,837 01:06:06,962 Wait, hold on, are you saying that Wait, hold on, are you saying that
1643 01:06:07,046 01:06:08,130 that's the key to the whole thing? that's the key to the whole thing?
1644 01:06:08,214 01:06:09,465 We need the Chernobly to get back? We need the Chernobly to get back?
1645 01:06:09,549 01:06:13,510 All I'm saying is, whatever your poison, I wouldn't tub without it. All I'm saying is, whatever your poison, I wouldn't tub without it.
1646 01:06:13,595 01:06:15,262 Especially after dawn. Especially after dawn.
1647 01:06:15,346 01:06:17,723 It'd kill you to give me a straight answer? It'd kill you to give me a straight answer?
1648 01:06:18,641 01:06:20,476 You know, you're kind of a dick. You know, you're kind of a dick.
1649 01:06:20,894 01:06:23,604 MAN: Hey, everybody, you ready to jam? MAN: Hey, everybody, you ready to jam?
1650 01:06:23,772 01:06:25,022 All right. All right.
1651 01:06:25,106 01:06:28,317 Ladies and gentlemen, help me welcome to the stage Ladies and gentlemen, help me welcome to the stage
1652 01:06:28,401 01:06:30,235 Nick Webber! Nick Webber!
1653 01:06:31,321 01:06:32,488 Hi. Hi.
1654 01:06:33,656 01:06:35,491 It's been a long time. It's been a long time.
1655 01:06:36,743 01:06:37,910 (MOUTHING) (MOUTHING)
1656 01:06:41,080 01:06:43,165 (SINGING) No, I'm never gonna dance again (SINGING) No, I'm never gonna dance again
1657 01:06:43,249 01:06:46,627 Guilty feet have got no rhythm Guilty feet have got no rhythm
1658 01:06:49,756 01:06:51,256 (JESSIE'S GIRL PLAYING) (JESSIE'S GIRL PLAYING)
1659 01:06:55,929 01:06:58,096 (SINGING) Jessie is a friend (SINGING) Jessie is a friend
1660 01:06:59,098 01:07:02,601 Yeah, I know he's been a good friend of mine Yeah, I know he's been a good friend of mine
1661 01:07:03,102 01:07:06,480 But lately something's changed It ain't hard to define But lately something's changed It ain't hard to define
1662 01:07:06,564 01:07:09,942 Jessie's got himself a girl And I want to make her mine Jessie's got himself a girl And I want to make her mine
1663 01:07:12,654 01:07:14,863 BLAINE: These guys are dangerous. Look at this stuff. BLAINE: These guys are dangerous. Look at this stuff.
1664 01:07:14,948 01:07:16,782 Blaine, it looks like a skinny soda can. Blaine, it looks like a skinny soda can.
1665 01:07:16,866 01:07:20,702 No, a soda-can bomb! This stuff's straight out of Moscow. No, a soda-can bomb! This stuff's straight out of Moscow.
1666 01:07:20,787 01:07:22,746 Let's go kick that Commie's ass! Let's go kick that Commie's ass!
1667 01:07:22,831 01:07:23,872 Chaz. Chaz.
1668 01:07:23,957 01:07:26,458 Shouldn't we call the cops or the FBI or something? Shouldn't we call the cops or the FBI or something?
1669 01:07:26,918 01:07:29,920 No, we're gonna handle this internally. No, we're gonna handle this internally.
1670 01:07:33,967 01:07:35,300 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) (AUDIENCE CHEERING)
1671 01:07:39,472 01:07:40,639 I wish that I had I wish that I had
1672 01:07:40,723 01:07:42,391 Jessie's girl Jessie's girl
1673 01:07:42,725 01:07:44,017 I wish that I had I wish that I had
1674 01:07:44,102 01:07:45,811 Jessie's girl Jessie's girl
1675 01:07:50,650 01:07:55,112 Yeah Yeah
1676 01:07:57,156 01:07:58,407 (ALL CHEERING) (ALL CHEERING)
1677 01:08:00,368 01:08:03,495 This song is from the future, but since you've been good, This song is from the future, but since you've been good,
1678 01:08:03,580 01:08:04,830 you get it early. you get it early.
1679 01:08:04,914 01:08:06,582 Just like we rehearsed. Just like we rehearsed.
1680 01:08:07,542 01:08:10,335 (SINGING) Let's get it started (SINGING) Let's get it started
1681 01:08:10,461 01:08:12,504 in here in here
1682 01:08:16,050 01:08:18,927 And the bass keep runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin' And the bass keep runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin'
1683 01:08:19,012 01:08:26,101 And runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin'
1684 01:08:26,185 01:08:28,437 In this context There's no disrespect In this context There's no disrespect
1685 01:08:28,521 01:08:30,647 So when I bust my rhyme You break your necks So when I bust my rhyme You break your necks
1686 01:08:30,732 01:08:32,941 We got five minutes For us to disconnect We got five minutes For us to disconnect
1687 01:08:33,026 01:08:35,235 From all intellect Collect the rhythm effect From all intellect Collect the rhythm effect
1688 01:08:35,320 01:08:37,779 So lose your inhibition Follow your intuition So lose your inhibition Follow your intuition
1689 01:08:37,864 01:08:40,115 Free your inner soul And break away from tradition Free your inner soul And break away from tradition
1690 01:08:40,199 01:08:41,950 'Cause when we beat out Girl, it's putting heat out 'Cause when we beat out Girl, it's putting heat out
1691 01:08:42,035 01:08:44,494 You wouldn't believe How we wow shit out You wouldn't believe How we wow shit out
1692 01:08:44,579 01:08:46,622 Burn it till it's burned out Turn it till it's turned out Burn it till it's burned out Turn it till it's turned out
1693 01:08:46,706 01:08:49,333 Act up from north, west, east, south Act up from north, west, east, south
1694 01:08:49,417 01:08:52,794 Everybody, everybody Let's get into it Everybody, everybody Let's get into it
1695 01:08:52,879 01:08:55,130 Get stupid Get it started Get stupid Get it started
1696 01:08:55,214 01:08:56,965 Get it started Get it started Get it started Get it started
1697 01:08:57,050 01:09:05,849 Let's get it started Let's get it started in here Let's get it started Let's get it started in here
1698 01:09:07,727 01:09:10,896 Everybody, everybody Let's get into it Everybody, everybody Let's get into it
1699 01:09:11,064 01:09:13,357 Get stupid Get it started Get stupid Get it started
1700 01:09:13,441 01:09:16,985 Get it started, get it started Let's get it started Get it started, get it started Let's get it started
1701 01:09:17,070 01:09:19,029 Hey, where's the Kodiak Club? Hey, where's the Kodiak Club?
1702 01:09:19,113 01:09:20,405 Down the street, dude. Down the street, dude.
1703 01:09:20,573 01:09:22,366 Okay. Okay, thank you. Okay. Okay, thank you.
1704 01:09:22,533 01:09:25,327 Listen, me and my boys got some shit-kicking to do. Listen, me and my boys got some shit-kicking to do.
1705 01:09:25,620 01:09:26,995 But this But this
1706 01:09:27,080 01:09:29,831 (GRUNTING) (GRUNTING)
1707 01:09:30,249 01:09:31,416 Ain't over. Ain't over.
1708 01:09:32,126 01:09:33,543 Get out of my way, stool. Get out of my way, stool.
1709 01:09:34,671 01:09:36,964 Transmit hits with no delusion Transmit hits with no delusion
1710 01:09:37,048 01:09:39,716 The feeling's irresistible And that's how we moving The feeling's irresistible And that's how we moving
1711 01:09:39,884 01:09:41,677 Everybody Everybody Everybody Everybody
1712 01:09:41,761 01:09:43,011 Let's get into it Let's get into it
1713 01:09:43,096 01:09:44,221 That's my boy, right there. That's my boy, right there.
1714 01:09:44,389 01:09:46,098 The singer? Yeah. The singer? Yeah.
1715 01:09:46,265 01:09:48,558 Let's get it started Let's get it started
1716 01:09:48,726 01:09:51,603 I'll be back. My friends are over there. I'll come right back. I'll be back. My friends are over there. I'll come right back.
1717 01:09:52,271 01:09:54,272 Lose control Of body and soul Lose control Of body and soul
1718 01:09:54,357 01:09:56,858 Don't move too fast, people Just take it slow Don't move too fast, people Just take it slow
1719 01:09:56,943 01:09:59,403 I'm caught right in the middle of a thing right now, I'm caught right in the middle of a thing right now,
1720 01:09:59,487 01:10:01,029 but can I text you later? but can I text you later?
1721 01:10:01,114 01:10:02,864 Can you what? Are you online at all? Can you what? Are you online at all?
1722 01:10:02,949 01:10:04,533 I have no idea what you're saying. I have no idea what you're saying.
1723 01:10:04,617 01:10:05,826 How do I get a hold of you? How do I get a hold of you?
1724 01:10:05,910 01:10:07,869 You come find me. You come find me.
1725 01:10:07,954 01:10:09,121 That just sounds That just sounds
1726 01:10:10,039 01:10:11,081 exhausting. exhausting.
1727 01:10:11,541 01:10:12,541 With no delusion (CLOCK DINGS) With no delusion (CLOCK DINGS)
1728 01:10:12,625 01:10:15,168 The feeling's irresistible And that's how we moving The feeling's irresistible And that's how we moving
1729 01:10:15,253 01:10:17,045 There he is. Where are your boys? There he is. Where are your boys?
1730 01:10:17,130 01:10:18,880 I thought they were gonna hold your sack. I thought they were gonna hold your sack.
1731 01:10:18,965 01:10:20,549 Let's kick his ass, Blaine. Let's kick his ass, Blaine.
1732 01:10:22,260 01:10:24,553 Where are my fucking friends? Where are my fucking friends?
1733 01:10:24,804 01:10:26,304 Whoo-hoo! Let's get Whoo-hoo! Let's get
1734 01:10:26,472 01:10:28,140 Whoo-hoo! In here Whoo-hoo! In here
1735 01:10:28,307 01:10:30,267 Let's get Whoo-hoo! Let's get Whoo-hoo!
1736 01:10:30,435 01:10:32,102 While I get Whoo-hoo! While I get Whoo-hoo!
1737 01:10:32,854 01:10:34,730 You like that song? Yeah, it's great. You like that song? Yeah, it's great.
1738 01:10:34,814 01:10:35,939 It's gonna be a hit. It's gonna be a hit.
1739 01:10:43,531 01:10:47,451 And runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin'
1740 01:10:47,535 01:10:48,827 (ALL CHEERING) (ALL CHEERING)
1741 01:10:52,707 01:10:55,125 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
1742 01:10:56,794 01:10:58,045 Yes. Yes.
1743 01:10:58,129 01:10:59,546 MAN: That was sweet. MAN: That was sweet.
1744 01:10:59,672 01:11:01,423 ADAM: All right. All right, man. ADAM: All right. All right, man.
1745 01:11:03,176 01:11:05,093 Good to have you back, see you back up there, man. Good to have you back, see you back up there, man.
1746 01:11:05,178 01:11:07,262 Hey, it's coming back. I should have done this years ago. Hey, it's coming back. I should have done this years ago.
1747 01:11:07,346 01:11:10,265 Guys. Adam. Guys! About time. Guys. Adam. Guys! About time.
1748 01:11:10,349 01:11:12,267 Did you see him? Did you see him rock out? Did you see him? Did you see him rock out?
1749 01:11:12,351 01:11:14,895 Shut up! Okay, we gotta find the Chernobly to get out of here. Shut up! Okay, we gotta find the Chernobly to get out of here.
1750 01:11:15,063 01:11:16,063 Chernobly? Why? Chernobly? Why?
1751 01:11:16,147 01:11:17,272 I don't know, exactly. I don't know, exactly.
1752 01:11:17,356 01:11:21,109 But the repairman said it's got nitro-trainium... But the repairman said it's got nitro-trainium...
1753 01:11:21,277 01:11:22,652 Nitratrinanium. JACOB: Thank you. Nitratrinanium. JACOB: Thank you.
1754 01:11:22,737 01:11:25,363 Or some shit in it that'll fix the time machine. Or some shit in it that'll fix the time machine.
1755 01:11:25,531 01:11:27,365 That makes sense. Where's Lou? That makes sense. Where's Lou?
1756 01:11:27,533 01:11:29,534 ADAM: Where is... What time is it? ADAM: Where is... What time is it?
1757 01:11:30,203 01:11:33,330 Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Shit! Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Shit!
1758 01:11:34,290 01:11:35,457 (GIRLS CHATTERING) (GIRLS CHATTERING)
1759 01:11:36,042 01:11:37,084 Lou! Lou!
1760 01:11:38,711 01:11:40,378 Where is he? Fuck. Where is he? Fuck.
1761 01:11:42,131 01:11:44,633 ADAM: Oh, my God! We missed it again! ADAM: Oh, my God! We missed it again!
1762 01:11:45,718 01:11:47,761 Well, where do you think he went? Well, where do you think he went?
1763 01:11:49,222 01:11:51,056 Same place as last time? Same place as last time?
1764 01:11:52,475 01:11:56,228 LOU: (SINGING) Keeps me together at the seams LOU: (SINGING) Keeps me together at the seams
1765 01:11:56,395 01:11:59,022 I'm on my way I'm on my way
1766 01:11:59,565 01:12:01,191 MAN 1: Shut up, you flamer! MAN 1: Shut up, you flamer!
1767 01:12:01,859 01:12:04,736 I'm on my way I'm on my way
1768 01:12:05,571 01:12:07,906 MAN 2: Hey, go home! Loser! MAN 2: Hey, go home! Loser!
1769 01:12:08,074 01:12:09,991 Hey, John Lennon gets shot! Hey, John Lennon gets shot!
1770 01:12:10,576 01:12:12,077 Wait, did that already happen? Wait, did that already happen?
1771 01:12:14,497 01:12:15,664 ADAM: Lou! ADAM: Lou!
1772 01:12:17,083 01:12:18,291 Whoo! Whoo!
1773 01:12:19,168 01:12:23,588 They made it, everybody! Whoo! Best friends in the world! They made it, everybody! Whoo! Best friends in the world!
1774 01:12:23,756 01:12:25,132 Almost just in time! Almost just in time!
1775 01:12:26,884 01:12:28,218 My buddies. My buddies.
1776 01:12:28,386 01:12:31,513 Fucking Chimney Point, right? Here we are. Fucking Chimney Point, right? Here we are.
1777 01:12:31,681 01:12:33,932 Bottle of scotch, end of the night. Bottle of scotch, end of the night.
1778 01:12:35,601 01:12:36,977 Where were you? Where were you?
1779 01:12:37,186 01:12:38,645 We were just... We came... We were just... We came...
1780 01:12:38,729 01:12:40,730 Not tonight. Every fucking night. Not tonight. Every fucking night.
1781 01:12:41,274 01:12:44,401 Huh? What happened? We were gonna do shit together, man. Huh? What happened? We were gonna do shit together, man.
1782 01:12:44,485 01:12:47,487 We were gonna conquer the fucking world. Me and you. We were gonna conquer the fucking world. Me and you.
1783 01:12:47,572 01:12:48,989 And then you cut me off. And then you cut me off.
1784 01:12:49,073 01:12:50,198 What was I gonna do, man? What was I gonna do, man?
1785 01:12:50,283 01:12:52,951 I was gonna let you drag me down into your bullshit, Lou? I was gonna let you drag me down into your bullshit, Lou?
1786 01:12:53,119 01:12:55,203 Yeah. Yes, because that's what friends do. Yeah. Yes, because that's what friends do.
1787 01:12:55,288 01:12:56,705 No, they don't, man! No, they don't, man!
1788 01:12:56,789 01:12:58,456 Because then there's two people stuck in the bullshit Because then there's two people stuck in the bullshit
1789 01:12:58,541 01:12:59,708 instead of your sorry ass. instead of your sorry ass.
1790 01:12:59,792 01:13:03,962 You should stick by your friends through thick and thin! You should stick by your friends through thick and thin!
1791 01:13:07,550 01:13:10,635 Okay, great. I got two things to say to you. Okay, great. I got two things to say to you.
1792 01:13:11,095 01:13:12,387 Okay. Okay? Okay. Okay?
1793 01:13:12,722 01:13:15,140 Number one, I hate you. Number one, I hate you.
1794 01:13:15,600 01:13:16,600 Got it. Got it.
1795 01:13:16,684 01:13:18,476 Our friendship means nothing. Our friendship means nothing.
1796 01:13:19,478 01:13:20,937 All right, is that the first thing or the second thing? All right, is that the first thing or the second thing?
1797 01:13:21,022 01:13:23,481 What? No, clearly that's still part of the first thing. What? No, clearly that's still part of the first thing.
1798 01:13:23,649 01:13:24,983 I mean, am I the asshole? Did you get that? I mean, am I the asshole? Did you get that?
1799 01:13:25,067 01:13:26,735 No, I didn't get it. I thought... He didn't get it. No, I didn't get it. I thought... He didn't get it.
1800 01:13:26,819 01:13:28,069 He said A and B... He said A and B...
1801 01:13:28,154 01:13:30,572 Let's agree to disagree about the "first" thing. Let's agree to disagree about the "first" thing.
1802 01:13:30,656 01:13:33,950 Lou, where is the Chernobly? We need it to get back. Lou, where is the Chernobly? We need it to get back.
1803 01:13:34,035 01:13:35,952 (IN MOCKING TONE) "Where's the Chernobly at, Lou?" (IN MOCKING TONE) "Where's the Chernobly at, Lou?"
1804 01:13:36,037 01:13:38,246 That's all you ever fucking care about. That's all you ever fucking care about.
1805 01:13:38,331 01:13:39,581 It's the first time he mentioned it. It's the first time he mentioned it.
1806 01:13:39,665 01:13:41,249 Yeah, and even if we had mentioned it before, Yeah, and even if we had mentioned it before,
1807 01:13:41,334 01:13:44,085 it's kind of a fucking big deal, okay? I wanna go home. it's kind of a fucking big deal, okay? I wanna go home.
1808 01:13:44,253 01:13:45,629 NICK: Come on, Lou. Let's talk about this inside. NICK: Come on, Lou. Let's talk about this inside.
1809 01:13:45,713 01:13:46,922 You got no shoes on. It's cold out. You got no shoes on. It's cold out.
1810 01:13:47,006 01:13:48,506 Who took my fucking shoe? Who took my fucking shoe?
1811 01:13:48,591 01:13:51,051 Blaine apparently beat your shoe off of you, Blaine apparently beat your shoe off of you,
1812 01:13:51,135 01:13:53,094 which I don't even know how that could fucking happen. which I don't even know how that could fucking happen.
1813 01:13:53,179 01:13:57,140 Okay, fuck it! Fuck you, fuck you and fuck you! Okay, fuck it! Fuck you, fuck you and fuck you!
1814 01:13:57,225 01:13:58,266 ADAM: Easy, man. ADAM: Easy, man.
1815 01:13:58,351 01:13:59,559 JACOB: Whoa, Lou! JACOB: Whoa, Lou!
1816 01:13:59,852 01:14:02,771 (ALL YELLING) (ALL YELLING)
1817 01:14:04,732 01:14:05,899 NICK: I got you. NICK: I got you.
1818 01:14:06,067 01:14:07,359 JACOB: Oh, my God! JACOB: Oh, my God!
1819 01:14:07,526 01:14:08,610 Is Lou dead? Shit! Is Lou dead? Shit!
1820 01:14:08,778 01:14:10,237 JACOB: There he is. JACOB: There he is.
1821 01:14:11,614 01:14:12,781 NICK: I can't hold on. NICK: I can't hold on.
1822 01:14:12,865 01:14:13,823 Yes, you can! Yes, you can!
1823 01:14:13,908 01:14:14,950 Yes, you can hang on! Yes, you can hang on!
1824 01:14:15,034 01:14:16,701 I'm slipping. ADAM: No, hold on. I'm slipping. ADAM: No, hold on.
1825 01:14:16,786 01:14:18,787 JACOB: No, Nick. Hold on. Guys! JACOB: No, Nick. Hold on. Guys!
1826 01:14:18,955 01:14:20,121 (SCREAMING) (SCREAMING)
1827 01:14:21,916 01:14:23,792 JACOB: Phil! Phil! JACOB: Phil! Phil!
1828 01:14:25,086 01:14:26,544 Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!
1829 01:14:26,629 01:14:29,464 We're dead! This is how it happens! This is how he loses it! We're dead! This is how it happens! This is how he loses it!
1830 01:14:29,632 01:14:30,799 Fuck it! Fuck it!
1831 01:14:30,967 01:14:33,051 Fuck it, we're dead men! Just let me go. Fuck it, we're dead men! Just let me go.
1832 01:14:33,219 01:14:34,803 JACOB: Lou, be positive. JACOB: Lou, be positive.
1833 01:14:37,223 01:14:38,932 LOU: The roof is scraping my nut! LOU: The roof is scraping my nut!
1834 01:14:39,100 01:14:40,809 NICK: Damn, you strong. NICK: Damn, you strong.
1835 01:14:41,018 01:14:42,560 (ALL GRUNTING) (ALL GRUNTING)
1836 01:14:44,480 01:14:45,772 All right. All right.
1837 01:14:45,940 01:14:48,817 You're all right? I'm glad you guys are all right. You're all right? I'm glad you guys are all right.
1838 01:14:50,403 01:14:51,903 My fault. My fault.
1839 01:14:52,071 01:14:53,947 Why do you do shit like that? Why do you do shit like that?
1840 01:14:54,115 01:14:55,991 I'm sorry! Jesus! Thank you, Phil. I'm sorry! Jesus! Thank you, Phil.
1841 01:14:56,575 01:14:59,035 All right, here's the second fucking thing, okay? All right, here's the second fucking thing, okay?
1842 01:14:59,203 01:15:00,662 Blaine's got the Chernobly. Blaine's got the Chernobly.
1843 01:15:00,830 01:15:03,248 Let's just get it from him, so we can get back to the present Let's just get it from him, so we can get back to the present
1844 01:15:03,332 01:15:05,375 so I can start never seeing you bitches again. so I can start never seeing you bitches again.
1845 01:15:08,004 01:15:09,337 Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey.
1846 01:15:09,422 01:15:10,922 I was looking for you. Where'd you go? I was looking for you. Where'd you go?
1847 01:15:11,007 01:15:13,842 I had to go... My friend got in trouble, but I had to... I had to go... My friend got in trouble, but I had to...
1848 01:15:13,926 01:15:15,135 I'm leaving right now. I'm leaving right now.
1849 01:15:15,303 01:15:16,428 You're leaving right now? You're leaving right now?
1850 01:15:16,512 01:15:17,762 Yeah. That's not good. Yeah. That's not good.
1851 01:15:17,847 01:15:19,556 I told you, I had two hours. I gotta go. I told you, I had two hours. I gotta go.
1852 01:15:20,683 01:15:23,977 JACOB: Uncle Adam, come on! Who the fuck is that chick? JACOB: Uncle Adam, come on! Who the fuck is that chick?
1853 01:15:24,145 01:15:25,270 Do you wanna come with me? Do you wanna come with me?
1854 01:15:25,313 01:15:26,354 LOU: Get her fax number and let's go. Come on. LOU: Get her fax number and let's go. Come on.
1855 01:15:26,439 01:15:27,856 I can't. Yes, you can. I can't. Yes, you can.
1856 01:15:27,940 01:15:30,150 You can do whatever you want, man. It's your life. You can do whatever you want, man. It's your life.
1857 01:15:30,234 01:15:31,443 I want to. I want to.
1858 01:15:31,527 01:15:32,694 Good. Then come on. Good. Then come on.
1859 01:15:32,778 01:15:35,780 But I can't because my friends need me and I gotta show up for them, But I can't because my friends need me and I gotta show up for them,
1860 01:15:36,866 01:15:38,283 so I really can't. so I really can't.
1861 01:15:38,451 01:15:39,743 Okay. Okay.
1862 01:15:40,995 01:15:43,455 So what are we... I mean, do we... So what are we... I mean, do we...
1863 01:15:43,873 01:15:45,248 What happens? I don't know. What happens? I don't know.
1864 01:15:45,416 01:15:46,916 I'm not really making any plans. I'm not really making any plans.
1865 01:15:47,001 01:15:49,210 I'm just sort of letting the universe surprise me, right? I'm just sort of letting the universe surprise me, right?
1866 01:15:49,295 01:15:50,712 I like that. I like that a lot. I like that. I like that a lot.
1867 01:15:50,796 01:15:51,880 That's the sign of a happy man. That's the sign of a happy man.
1868 01:15:51,964 01:15:53,173 MAN: April, let's go! MAN: April, let's go!
1869 01:15:53,257 01:15:54,466 Shit. Shit.
1870 01:15:56,927 01:15:59,929 (WHISPERING) Maybe the universe will bring us together again. (WHISPERING) Maybe the universe will bring us together again.
1871 01:16:00,139 01:16:01,348 I hope. I hope.
1872 01:16:08,814 01:16:10,482 JACOB: Casanova, let's do this! JACOB: Casanova, let's do this!
1873 01:16:12,193 01:16:14,027 (BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE PLAYING) (BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE PLAYING)
1874 01:16:19,992 01:16:21,743 Just turn it around and keep it running, okay? Just turn it around and keep it running, okay?
1875 01:16:21,827 01:16:23,244 PHIL: Yeah, sure thing. PHIL: Yeah, sure thing.
1876 01:16:24,330 01:16:26,039 Okay. You go this way, I'll go this way? Okay. You go this way, I'll go this way?
1877 01:16:26,207 01:16:27,582 No, I'm gonna do the opposite of everything you say. No, I'm gonna do the opposite of everything you say.
1878 01:16:27,666 01:16:28,666 Great. Great.
1879 01:16:29,335 01:16:30,668 (GIRLS LAUGHING) (GIRLS LAUGHING)
1880 01:16:31,087 01:16:33,088 Wonder which one's Blaine's room. Wonder which one's Blaine's room.
1881 01:16:36,592 01:16:37,842 Housekeeping. Housekeeping.
1882 01:16:45,017 01:16:46,518 Go, go, go. Go, go, go.
1883 01:16:59,198 01:17:01,366 Let's try in here. Where is it? Let's try in here. Where is it?
1884 01:17:03,035 01:17:05,036 Come on! Come on, come on. Come on! Come on, come on.
1885 01:17:07,164 01:17:08,623 (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS)
1886 01:17:09,375 01:17:11,126 Panties, panties, panties! Panties, panties, panties!
1887 01:17:12,044 01:17:13,503 What the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you doing?
1888 01:17:13,587 01:17:16,005 Why don't you shut your slut mouth Why don't you shut your slut mouth
1889 01:17:16,090 01:17:17,882 and mind your own fucking business? and mind your own fucking business?
1890 01:17:17,967 01:17:19,467 You disgust me. You disgust me.
1891 01:17:22,805 01:17:23,888 (GROWLING) (GROWLING)
1892 01:17:25,099 01:17:27,600 I love how much you hate you. I love how much you hate you.
1893 01:17:30,229 01:17:31,354 Thank you. Thank you.
1894 01:17:36,235 01:17:37,527 They're here, come on. Fuck! They're here, come on. Fuck!
1895 01:17:37,611 01:17:39,446 "Fuck" as in, "The Chernobly's here and we're all good"? "Fuck" as in, "The Chernobly's here and we're all good"?
1896 01:17:39,530 01:17:41,406 No, "fuck" as in, "fuck!" No, "fuck" as in, "fuck!"
1897 01:17:41,574 01:17:42,657 Where's Nick? Where's Nick?
1898 01:17:42,741 01:17:45,243 NICK: Admit it! You sucked his balls, you licked his booty, NICK: Admit it! You sucked his balls, you licked his booty,
1899 01:17:45,327 01:17:47,078 you sucked his toes. you sucked his toes.
1900 01:17:47,246 01:17:48,538 Was his dick bigger than mine? Was his dick bigger than mine?
1901 01:17:48,622 01:17:50,582 You wore the heels, didn't you? You wore the heels, didn't you?
1902 01:17:50,666 01:17:51,749 Admit it, bitch! Admit it, bitch!
1903 01:17:52,626 01:17:54,252 There's gonna be some changes, all right? There's gonna be some changes, all right?
1904 01:17:54,420 01:17:56,212 First, I'm dropping "Agnew" from my name. First, I'm dropping "Agnew" from my name.
1905 01:17:56,297 01:17:57,338 No more hyphenate. No more hyphenate.
1906 01:17:57,423 01:17:59,215 Next, I'm getting back on stage. Next, I'm getting back on stage.
1907 01:17:59,300 01:18:01,676 I'm going back to music because I jam. I'm going back to music because I jam.
1908 01:18:01,760 01:18:03,178 But you wouldn't know nothing about that But you wouldn't know nothing about that
1909 01:18:03,262 01:18:05,972 because you're probably somewhere sucking a motherfucker's dick! because you're probably somewhere sucking a motherfucker's dick!
1910 01:18:06,599 01:18:07,640 Excuse me? Excuse me?
1911 01:18:08,767 01:18:12,145 Hang up the phone, Jerry. This shit don't concern you. Hang up the phone, Jerry. This shit don't concern you.
1912 01:18:12,229 01:18:13,229 How do you know my name? How do you know my name?
1913 01:18:13,314 01:18:15,190 Hang up the phone, motherfucker! Hang up the phone, motherfucker!
1914 01:18:15,274 01:18:16,774 This is between me and my wife! This is between me and my wife!
1915 01:18:17,568 01:18:19,527 Hey! Give me that phone! Hey! Give me that phone!
1916 01:18:19,612 01:18:21,070 Give him the phone, Nick. Give him the phone, Nick.
1917 01:18:21,155 01:18:23,239 I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm doing! I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm doing!
1918 01:18:23,324 01:18:25,783 No, you don't, man. Let it go! Let it go, man. No, you don't, man. Let it go! Let it go, man.
1919 01:18:26,452 01:18:29,287 Wrong number. But you're a bad girl and you hurt him. Wrong number. But you're a bad girl and you hurt him.
1920 01:18:30,331 01:18:32,707 Were you just yelling at your 9-year-old wife? Were you just yelling at your 9-year-old wife?
1921 01:18:33,918 01:18:34,918 Yes. Yes.
1922 01:18:36,629 01:18:39,047 God damn it. I'm gonna go nuclear on these guys. God damn it. I'm gonna go nuclear on these guys.
1923 01:18:39,131 01:18:40,256 BOY: They couldn't have gone far, man. BOY: They couldn't have gone far, man.
1924 01:18:40,674 01:18:41,883 (LOU PANTING) (LOU PANTING)
1925 01:18:42,259 01:18:44,928 Lou! Come on, we gotta go. Lou! Come on, we gotta go.
1926 01:18:45,804 01:18:47,639 Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
1927 01:18:48,057 01:18:49,224 Mom? Mom?
1928 01:18:49,308 01:18:50,600 Hey, did you find the Chernobly? Hey, did you find the Chernobly?
1929 01:18:50,684 01:18:51,809 You motherfucker! You motherfucker!
1930 01:18:53,604 01:18:55,396 Where did he go? Jacob? Where did he go? Jacob?
1931 01:18:55,481 01:18:57,398 What the fuck? What's happened? What the fuck? What's happened?
1932 01:19:00,486 01:19:02,570 Oh, my God. I get it. Oh, my God. I get it.
1933 01:19:03,697 01:19:05,114 I'm his father. I'm his father.
1934 01:19:05,199 01:19:06,282 What? What?
1935 01:19:09,453 01:19:10,828 Wait, so what do we do? Wait, so what do we do?
1936 01:19:10,913 01:19:11,996 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1937 01:19:14,041 01:19:15,166 Hit that. Hit that.
1938 01:19:17,419 01:19:18,962 You finish this. You finish this.
1939 01:19:20,214 01:19:21,339 Okay. Okay.
1940 01:19:21,632 01:19:25,468 Lay down. We got a stupid baby to make right now. Lay down. We got a stupid baby to make right now.
1941 01:19:26,011 01:19:28,012 LOU: (GROANING) I'm back inside of you. LOU: (GROANING) I'm back inside of you.
1942 01:19:28,931 01:19:32,559 I can't believe I'm fucking Adam's sister! I can't believe I'm fucking Adam's sister!
1943 01:19:32,643 01:19:35,478 I'm doing it! I'm doing it! I'm doing it! I'm doing it!
1944 01:19:36,063 01:19:38,898 It's gonna take me a while 'cause I'm a little drunk. It's gonna take me a while 'cause I'm a little drunk.
1945 01:19:39,066 01:19:40,400 Oh, no, it's not. Here I come. Oh, no, it's not. Here I come.
1946 01:19:40,568 01:19:43,486 Oh, my God, I'm gonna come! I'm gonna... Oh, my God, I'm gonna come! I'm gonna...
1947 01:19:43,654 01:19:46,072 Oh, Shia LaBeouf! Oh, Shia LaBeouf!
1948 01:19:46,240 01:19:48,658 Dropping loads! Dropping loads!
1949 01:19:48,993 01:19:53,246 So much fucking semen. Little tiny Jacobs! So much fucking semen. Little tiny Jacobs!
1950 01:19:54,540 01:19:56,374 (JACOB WHOOPING) (JACOB WHOOPING)
1951 01:19:56,709 01:19:59,002 (LAUGHS) There's my boy. (LAUGHS) There's my boy.
1952 01:19:59,169 01:20:01,796 It was so beautiful. You sack of shit! It was so beautiful. You sack of shit!
1953 01:20:04,300 01:20:06,467 I knew there was a reason I fucking hated you. I knew there was a reason I fucking hated you.
1954 01:20:06,635 01:20:07,760 And now I know why. And now I know why.
1955 01:20:07,845 01:20:11,139 I'm gonna tell everybody in prison that I traveled back in time I'm gonna tell everybody in prison that I traveled back in time
1956 01:20:11,223 01:20:12,724 to kill my own father! to kill my own father!
1957 01:20:12,850 01:20:14,767 ADAM: Jacob, get off him. Come on! Time out, young man. ADAM: Jacob, get off him. Come on! Time out, young man.
1958 01:20:14,852 01:20:17,645 Get the fuck off of me! You're a fucking dead man! Get the fuck off of me! You're a fucking dead man!
1959 01:20:17,730 01:20:18,771 ADAM: Jacob! ADAM: Jacob!
1960 01:20:18,856 01:20:20,315 Nobody fucks my mother in the past! Nobody fucks my mother in the past!
1961 01:20:20,399 01:20:22,191 I feel pregnant. I feel pregnant.
1962 01:20:23,402 01:20:24,902 You're welcome. You're welcome.
1963 01:20:31,619 01:20:32,994 (CROWD EXCLAIMING) (CROWD EXCLAIMING)
1964 01:20:33,078 01:20:34,621 You Commies looking for this? You Commies looking for this?
1965 01:20:34,705 01:20:35,913 Yes, actually. Yes, we are. Yes, actually. Yes, we are.
1966 01:20:35,998 01:20:37,248 That's what we're looking for. That's what we're looking for.
1967 01:20:37,333 01:20:38,583 You think we could get that back? You think we could get that back?
1968 01:20:38,667 01:20:39,792 No, you may not. No, you may not.
1969 01:20:39,877 01:20:42,962 But bad news for you, sport. I'm a patriot. But bad news for you, sport. I'm a patriot.
1970 01:20:43,047 01:20:45,256 And I'm not about to let some Ruskie fucks come into my town And I'm not about to let some Ruskie fucks come into my town
1971 01:20:45,341 01:20:47,925 and blow shit up with some red-soda-can bomb. and blow shit up with some red-soda-can bomb.
1972 01:20:48,010 01:20:49,594 Just give it to us, turtleneck. Just give it to us, turtleneck.
1973 01:20:49,678 01:20:52,096 Yeah, okay, you can have it back. Yeah, okay, you can have it back.
1974 01:20:52,264 01:20:55,266 As long as that sack over there comes and takes it from me. As long as that sack over there comes and takes it from me.
1975 01:20:56,435 01:20:58,019 I think he's talking about you. He's talking about you. I think he's talking about you. He's talking about you.
1976 01:20:58,103 01:20:59,604 He's obviously talking about me. He's obviously talking about me.
1977 01:21:02,983 01:21:04,317 Blaine, hello. Blaine, hello.
1978 01:21:04,860 01:21:05,943 Um... Um...
1979 01:21:06,278 01:21:08,196 Can I please get the soda back? Can I please get the soda back?
1980 01:21:08,364 01:21:09,614 Yeah, sure you can. Yeah, sure you can.
1981 01:21:10,616 01:21:11,616 Oh. Oh.
1982 01:21:11,700 01:21:12,950 Okay. Okay.
1983 01:21:13,077 01:21:14,160 (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS)
1984 01:21:15,204 01:21:16,871 Fuck me in the face. Fuck me in the face.
1985 01:21:16,955 01:21:18,623 BOY: Get him a body bag, Blaine! BOY: Get him a body bag, Blaine!
1986 01:21:18,999 01:21:21,376 Give us a minute, okay? Listen to me, man. Give us a minute, okay? Listen to me, man.
1987 01:21:21,794 01:21:26,464 That guy, that guy has pummeled you again and again. That guy, that guy has pummeled you again and again.
1988 01:21:26,632 01:21:27,965 He made you his little bitch. He made you his little bitch.
1989 01:21:28,133 01:21:30,677 He's humiliated you, emasculated you. He's humiliated you, emasculated you.
1990 01:21:30,844 01:21:34,347 The wheel of fate has stopped and dumped you here again, The wheel of fate has stopped and dumped you here again,
1991 01:21:34,431 01:21:35,723 utterly defeated. utterly defeated.
1992 01:21:36,183 01:21:37,892 None of this is helping me at all. None of this is helping me at all.
1993 01:21:37,976 01:21:39,519 I know, it's coming. It's coming right now. I know, it's coming. It's coming right now.
1994 01:21:39,603 01:21:40,603 Patience. Patience.
1995 01:21:40,688 01:21:42,438 Maybe you're supposed to do something different. Maybe you're supposed to do something different.
1996 01:21:42,523 01:21:44,774 What is this, girl talk? Let's go here, come on. What is this, girl talk? Let's go here, come on.
1997 01:21:44,858 01:21:46,317 You're better than him. You're better than him.
1998 01:21:46,402 01:21:47,652 America! America!
1999 01:21:47,736 01:21:49,821 Maybe not by a lot, but a little. Maybe not by a lot, but a little.
2000 01:21:49,988 01:21:52,490 You're the patron saint of the totally fucked. You're the patron saint of the totally fucked.
2001 01:21:52,658 01:21:56,160 You're completely toxic. There's nothing you can't kill. You're completely toxic. There's nothing you can't kill.
2002 01:21:56,328 01:21:58,121 You're the fucking Violator! You're the fucking Violator!
2003 01:21:58,205 01:21:59,747 The moment's over. Let's go! The moment's over. Let's go!
2004 01:21:59,832 01:22:03,167 You can do this! You can get us the fuck out of here! You can do this! You can get us the fuck out of here!
2005 01:22:03,335 01:22:04,836 You can be the hero! You can be the hero!
2006 01:22:05,003 01:22:06,587 Enrique-fucking-lglesias. Enrique-fucking-lglesias.
2007 01:22:06,672 01:22:08,089 You love that song, don't you? You love that song, don't you?
2008 01:22:08,173 01:22:09,924 I love that fucking song! I love that fucking song!
2009 01:22:10,008 01:22:11,843 Give me your best shot. Come on, buddy. Give me your best shot. Come on, buddy.
2010 01:22:11,927 01:22:13,136 (HERO PLAYING) (HERO PLAYING)
2011 01:22:13,220 01:22:16,139 MAN: (SINGING) I can be your hero, baby MAN: (SINGING) I can be your hero, baby
2012 01:22:18,976 01:22:22,437 I can kiss away the pain I can kiss away the pain
2013 01:22:25,107 01:22:28,901 I will stand by you forever I will stand by you forever
2014 01:22:30,779 01:22:35,450 You can take my breath away You can take my breath away
2015 01:22:36,368 01:22:37,785 Shit. Shit.
2016 01:22:37,870 01:22:41,330 God damn it! None of what you said worked at all. God damn it! None of what you said worked at all.
2017 01:22:42,207 01:22:44,167 Let's kick these guys' ass, get the shit and go home. Let's kick these guys' ass, get the shit and go home.
2018 01:22:44,251 01:22:45,293 Done. Done.
2019 01:22:45,377 01:22:46,711 No, no! No, no!
2020 01:22:46,795 01:22:48,212 (YELLING) (YELLING)
2021 01:22:54,762 01:22:57,263 Fuck you! Feels so good! Fuck you! Feels so good!
2022 01:22:57,431 01:22:58,639 The Chernobly. The Chernobly.
2023 01:23:06,148 01:23:08,566 (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
2024 01:23:09,151 01:23:10,651 (IN RUSSIAN ACCENT) Martina Navratilova. (IN RUSSIAN ACCENT) Martina Navratilova.
2025 01:23:10,736 01:23:12,069 NICK: Smirnoff Ice. NICK: Smirnoff Ice.
2026 01:23:12,237 01:23:14,322 (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
2027 01:23:14,406 01:23:16,365 That's right, we are Russians! Spies. That's right, we are Russians! Spies.
2028 01:23:17,242 01:23:18,826 Yeah, because I was just speaking Russian. Yeah, because I was just speaking Russian.
2029 01:23:18,911 01:23:21,579 ADAM: He pulls that top, and this whole fucking place blows. ADAM: He pulls that top, and this whole fucking place blows.
2030 01:23:21,747 01:23:25,541 You guys count backwards from 50, then pull up the carpet and jump around. You guys count backwards from 50, then pull up the carpet and jump around.
2031 01:23:25,709 01:23:27,251 Or I'll fuck you up. Or I'll fuck you up.
2032 01:23:31,256 01:23:34,258 Hi, Phil. Can we go back to the hotel, lodge? Hi, Phil. Can we go back to the hotel, lodge?
2033 01:23:34,426 01:23:36,093 Sure. Thank you so much. Sure. Thank you so much.
2034 01:23:38,180 01:23:40,348 Five, four, three... Five, four, three...
2035 01:23:40,432 01:23:42,808 Blaine, please stop counting. Blaine, please stop counting.
2036 01:23:42,893 01:23:46,020 Chaz, this is an Acorn 5 situation. Chaz, this is an Acorn 5 situation.
2037 01:23:46,104 01:23:48,481 If we stop counting, they're gonna blow us sky-high. If we stop counting, they're gonna blow us sky-high.
2038 01:23:48,565 01:23:51,359 Look, if it is a bomb, they've got it with them, all right? Look, if it is a bomb, they've got it with them, all right?
2039 01:23:51,443 01:23:52,693 If anyone's gonna blow up, it's them. If anyone's gonna blow up, it's them.
2040 01:23:52,778 01:23:54,278 Chaz, stop! Chaz, stop!
2041 01:23:55,948 01:23:57,406 How long did our talking just take? How long did our talking just take?
2042 01:23:57,491 01:23:58,741 I don't know. I wasn't keeping track. I don't know. I wasn't keeping track.
2043 01:23:58,825 01:24:00,785 Fuck it, let's risk it! Fuck it, let's risk it!
2044 01:24:00,869 01:24:01,869 Move out! Move out!
2045 01:24:02,412 01:24:04,997 LOU: Now that you're with me, you gotta cover up your belly. LOU: Now that you're with me, you gotta cover up your belly.
2046 01:24:05,082 01:24:06,290 NICK: Let's get the fuck out of here. NICK: Let's get the fuck out of here.
2047 01:24:06,375 01:24:08,251 KELLY: What are you talking about? We only had sex once. KELLY: What are you talking about? We only had sex once.
2048 01:24:08,335 01:24:10,628 Let's go. Come on. Kelly, you can talk about it later. Let's go. Come on. Kelly, you can talk about it later.
2049 01:24:10,712 01:24:11,712 You guys are all right? You guys are all right?
2050 01:24:11,797 01:24:13,214 ADAM: Thank you, Phil. Enjoyed it. ADAM: Thank you, Phil. Enjoyed it.
2051 01:24:13,298 01:24:15,466 Have a good rest of your vacation. Have a good rest of your vacation.
2052 01:24:15,551 01:24:19,220 We'd love to have you come back here to the Silver Peaks Lodge. We'd love to have you come back here to the Silver Peaks Lodge.
2053 01:24:19,304 01:24:21,389 Thanks. Bye-bye. Thanks, Phil. Take care. Thanks. Bye-bye. Thanks, Phil. Take care.
2054 01:24:21,473 01:24:22,557 Be careful. Be careful.
2055 01:24:22,641 01:24:23,599 Hey, watch out! Hey, watch out!
2056 01:24:23,684 01:24:24,809 (CAR HORN HONKING) (CAR HORN HONKING)
2057 01:24:26,061 01:24:28,563 God, you guys see that? God, you guys see that?
2058 01:24:28,647 01:24:30,231 Come on, man! Come on, man!
2059 01:24:30,315 01:24:32,066 Why would you fucking take that from me? Why would you fucking take that from me?
2060 01:24:32,150 01:24:33,859 I didn't take it from you. I didn't take it from you.
2061 01:24:33,944 01:24:35,278 You guys... You guys...
2062 01:24:36,321 01:24:37,655 KELLY: Oh, my God! (ALL SCREAMING) KELLY: Oh, my God! (ALL SCREAMING)
2063 01:24:37,739 01:24:40,575 It happened! It happened! It happened! It happened!
2064 01:24:44,871 01:24:47,999 Why the fuck are you laughing? Gross! Why the fuck are you laughing? Gross!
2065 01:24:50,836 01:24:52,962 Man down, man down! Code 11. Man down, man down! Code 11.
2066 01:24:53,046 01:24:55,840 All right, everybody grab your gear, we gotta move! All right, everybody grab your gear, we gotta move!
2067 01:24:57,843 01:24:59,176 Later, Kelly. Later, Kelly.
2068 01:24:59,761 01:25:02,221 Bye, Mom. Love you. Don't do drugs, okay? Bye, Mom. Love you. Don't do drugs, okay?
2069 01:25:02,306 01:25:03,723 Hey, bye. Hey, bye.
2070 01:25:04,975 01:25:06,100 Aren't you coming to my room with me? Aren't you coming to my room with me?
2071 01:25:06,184 01:25:07,226 No, I gotta take my clothes off No, I gotta take my clothes off
2072 01:25:07,311 01:25:09,103 and get in a hot tub with these guys. and get in a hot tub with these guys.
2073 01:25:09,521 01:25:10,771 Then I'm totally over you. Then I'm totally over you.
2074 01:25:10,856 01:25:12,857 Kelly, listen. It's been an interesting trip. Kelly, listen. It's been an interesting trip.
2075 01:25:12,941 01:25:15,234 You're my sister and I love you. You're my sister and I love you.
2076 01:25:15,569 01:25:17,194 I love you, too. I love you, too.
2077 01:25:17,446 01:25:19,697 And don't steal that Caboodle makeup thing from JCPenney And don't steal that Caboodle makeup thing from JCPenney
2078 01:25:19,781 01:25:21,073 and you won't do any hard time. and you won't do any hard time.
2079 01:25:21,158 01:25:22,742 I'll see you in 20 years. I'll see you in 20 years.
2080 01:25:23,035 01:25:25,703 Uh. You're giving me a ride in the morning, right? Uh. You're giving me a ride in the morning, right?
2081 01:25:28,707 01:25:30,082 Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
2082 01:25:31,293 01:25:32,793 Cannonball! Cannonball!
2083 01:25:35,380 01:25:37,548 Yeah! Let's get this party started! Yeah! Let's get this party started!
2084 01:25:38,050 01:25:39,467 Young blood. Young blood.
2085 01:25:43,388 01:25:44,388 Holy shit! (THUNDER RUMBLING) Holy shit! (THUNDER RUMBLING)
2086 01:25:44,473 01:25:45,640 ADAM: Hey, look, it's happening. ADAM: Hey, look, it's happening.
2087 01:25:46,058 01:25:47,516 Here it comes! Here it comes!
2088 01:25:50,062 01:25:52,855 Hurry up. I can see the '90s. Hurry up. I can see the '90s.
2089 01:25:52,939 01:25:54,565 Why are you taking off your clothes? Why are you taking off your clothes?
2090 01:25:54,650 01:25:56,817 I don't know, man. It just feels right, you know? I don't know, man. It just feels right, you know?
2091 01:25:56,902 01:25:58,027 Fuck it. Fuck it.
2092 01:25:58,236 01:26:02,156 Adam! Adam! I'm not gonna go! Adam! Adam! I'm not gonna go!
2093 01:26:02,741 01:26:04,617 What? I'm gonna stay! What? I'm gonna stay!
2094 01:26:04,701 01:26:06,744 Don't fuck around, Lou. Let's go! Don't fuck around, Lou. Let's go!
2095 01:26:07,245 01:26:08,996 I'm good here, man. I'm good here, man.
2096 01:26:09,081 01:26:12,750 I had a good day! I beat the shit out of that guy, finally! I had a good day! I beat the shit out of that guy, finally!
2097 01:26:13,001 01:26:14,502 I fucked your sister! I fucked your sister!
2098 01:26:14,920 01:26:16,712 I could be a good dad! I could be a good dad!
2099 01:26:16,797 01:26:18,506 I love you, Jacob! I love you, Jacob!
2100 01:26:18,590 01:26:20,091 Fuck you! Fuck you!
2101 01:26:20,175 01:26:21,300 (LAUGHING) (LAUGHING)
2102 01:26:21,385 01:26:24,804 Little scamp. They say the damndest things, man. Little scamp. They say the damndest things, man.
2103 01:26:24,888 01:26:27,765 Come on, Lou, let's go! We'll talk about it when we get home! Come on, Lou, let's go! We'll talk about it when we get home!
2104 01:26:28,100 01:26:30,393 I was trying to kill myself! I was trying to kill myself!
2105 01:26:33,021 01:26:35,314 I know, man. That's why we came here! I know, man. That's why we came here!
2106 01:26:35,399 01:26:40,152 If I go back, I'm just gonna kill myself all over again, man. If I go back, I'm just gonna kill myself all over again, man.
2107 01:26:40,237 01:26:42,113 I can't. You're gonna stay? I can't. You're gonna stay?
2108 01:26:42,364 01:26:43,948 JACOB: Guys, let's go. JACOB: Guys, let's go.
2109 01:26:44,032 01:26:45,700 All right, well, if you're gonna stay, I'm gonna stay! All right, well, if you're gonna stay, I'm gonna stay!
2110 01:26:45,784 01:26:47,326 You'd really do that for me? You'd really do that for me?
2111 01:26:47,411 01:26:50,287 We're best friends! If you're staying, I'm staying! We're best friends! If you're staying, I'm staying!
2112 01:26:50,372 01:26:52,164 Your bullshit's my bullshit, right? Your bullshit's my bullshit, right?
2113 01:26:52,541 01:26:54,125 I'm your best friend? I'm your best friend?
2114 01:26:54,209 01:26:56,168 You are one of my best friends! You are one of my best friends!
2115 01:26:56,253 01:26:57,211 I'll take that! I'll take that!
2116 01:26:57,295 01:26:58,587 NICK: Where you going on me? NICK: Where you going on me?
2117 01:26:58,672 01:26:59,755 Thank you! Thank you!
2118 01:26:59,840 01:27:01,048 JACOB: Oh, my God! JACOB: Oh, my God!
2119 01:27:01,675 01:27:03,551 All right, man. Come on! All right, man. Come on!
2120 01:27:10,475 01:27:12,143 (ALL YELLING) (ALL YELLING)
2121 01:27:39,463 01:27:40,546 (ALL COUGHING) (ALL COUGHING)
2122 01:27:47,095 01:27:48,512 JACOB: Holy shit. JACOB: Holy shit.
2123 01:27:48,930 01:27:51,682 This better be the last time my ass travels through time. This better be the last time my ass travels through time.
2124 01:28:13,371 01:28:14,413 Oh... Oh...
2125 01:28:15,123 01:28:17,291 It is so good to see you. It is so good to see you.
2126 01:28:19,628 01:28:20,920 LOU: Are we rolling? LOU: Are we rolling?
2127 01:28:21,880 01:28:24,048 Welcome back, bitches! Welcome back, bitches!
2128 01:28:24,216 01:28:25,382 Is that Lou? Is that Lou?
2129 01:28:25,550 01:28:27,968 What took you so long? All right, zoom out. What took you so long? All right, zoom out.
2130 01:28:28,053 01:28:29,553 JACOB: Yeah, that's a weird hair choice. JACOB: Yeah, that's a weird hair choice.
2131 01:28:29,638 01:28:32,223 Uh-oh. Look what Daddy did. Uh-oh. Look what Daddy did.
2132 01:28:32,474 01:28:33,557 He looks like a lion. He looks like a lion.
2133 01:28:34,726 01:28:36,811 Oh, hi. Didn't see you there. Oh, hi. Didn't see you there.
2134 01:28:37,729 01:28:38,729 Here's a question. Here's a question.
2135 01:28:38,814 01:28:41,816 Was it morally wrong for me to exploit my knowledge of the future Was it morally wrong for me to exploit my knowledge of the future
2136 01:28:41,900 01:28:43,651 for personal financial gain? for personal financial gain?
2137 01:28:43,735 01:28:45,069 Perhaps. Perhaps.
2138 01:28:45,153 01:28:46,695 Here's another question. Here's another question.
2139 01:28:46,780 01:28:48,280 Do I give a fuck? Do I give a fuck?
2140 01:28:48,365 01:28:49,406 That's my father. That's my father.
2141 01:28:49,491 01:28:51,659 LOU: Hey, check out my girl. LOU: Hey, check out my girl.
2142 01:28:51,743 01:28:53,494 You burned the fucking crab cakes again. You burned the fucking crab cakes again.
2143 01:28:53,578 01:28:57,039 LOU: No, I didn't burn them because I like them that way! LOU: No, I didn't burn them because I like them that way!
2144 01:28:57,123 01:28:59,083 I fucking hate you, Louis. I fucking hate you, Louis.
2145 01:28:59,167 01:29:00,501 LOU: I hate you, too, baby. LOU: I hate you, too, baby.
2146 01:29:01,419 01:29:03,003 I love that woman, man. I love that woman, man.
2147 01:29:03,088 01:29:04,630 Those are my parents. Those are my parents.
2148 01:29:04,714 01:29:06,507 But seriously, a lot has changed. But seriously, a lot has changed.
2149 01:29:06,591 01:29:10,636 So, whatever happens, stay the fuck calm. So, whatever happens, stay the fuck calm.
2150 01:29:11,429 01:29:12,847 It'll all make sense soon. It'll all make sense soon.
2151 01:29:13,098 01:29:14,265 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) (KNOCKING AT DOOR)
2152 01:29:22,816 01:29:23,858 Good morning. Good morning.
2153 01:29:23,942 01:29:26,193 Holy shit, Phil, you got both your arms. Holy shit, Phil, you got both your arms.
2154 01:29:26,278 01:29:28,112 Oh. Yeah, I do. Oh. Yeah, I do.
2155 01:29:28,196 01:29:29,363 That's incredible. That's incredible.
2156 01:29:29,447 01:29:32,741 Yeah, what happened was a snowplow came along Yeah, what happened was a snowplow came along
2157 01:29:32,826 01:29:34,535 and it took my arm right off. and it took my arm right off.
2158 01:29:34,619 01:29:37,454 But the ski patrol came along and they put it on ice. But the ski patrol came along and they put it on ice.
2159 01:29:37,539 01:29:39,832 Blaine and Chaz. Blaine and Chaz saved his arm! Blaine and Chaz. Blaine and Chaz saved his arm!
2160 01:29:39,916 01:29:42,042 We got 15 minutes before that thing dies, all right. We got 15 minutes before that thing dies, all right.
2161 01:29:42,127 01:29:43,586 We're gonna put that back on you! We're gonna put that back on you!
2162 01:29:43,670 01:29:45,254 PHIL: I'm pretty happy. PHIL: I'm pretty happy.
2163 01:29:45,338 01:29:46,380 It looks great. It looks great.
2164 01:29:46,464 01:29:48,883 Anyhow, I have instructions on how to get home. Anyhow, I have instructions on how to get home.
2165 01:29:48,967 01:29:50,259 We know how to get home. We know how to get home.
2166 01:29:50,343 01:29:51,719 Yeah. We know... Yeah. We know...
2167 01:29:51,803 01:29:54,638 Mr. Dorchen anticipated that you might say that, Mr. Dorchen anticipated that you might say that,
2168 01:29:54,764 01:29:57,600 so I took the liberty of printing up some Lougle maps for you. so I took the liberty of printing up some Lougle maps for you.
2169 01:29:57,809 01:29:59,560 You mean "Google"? PHIL: Lougle maps. You mean "Google"? PHIL: Lougle maps.
2170 01:29:59,644 01:30:01,770 What's the matter with you guys? What's the matter with you guys?
2171 01:30:01,855 01:30:03,314 (LAUGHING) (LAUGHING)
2172 01:30:05,150 01:30:06,275 NICK: Fuck me. NICK: Fuck me.
2173 01:30:06,359 01:30:09,403 So, Phil, if you wanna find, you know, like porno So, Phil, if you wanna find, you know, like porno
2174 01:30:09,487 01:30:12,281 or a restaurant review or anything like that, you use Lougle? or a restaurant review or anything like that, you use Lougle?
2175 01:30:12,532 01:30:13,699 Correct. Correct.
2176 01:30:13,992 01:30:16,160 I bet he's on the Statue of Liberty and shit, too. I bet he's on the Statue of Liberty and shit, too.
2177 01:30:20,498 01:30:22,124 You want me to go in there? You want me to go in there?
2178 01:30:22,208 01:30:24,460 NICK: That's what it says on the map. NICK: That's what it says on the map.
2179 01:30:27,047 01:30:28,255 Call me later. Call me later.
2180 01:30:31,009 01:30:32,134 Hello. Hello.
2181 01:30:36,806 01:30:38,891 Welcome back, Mr. Webber. How was your time away? Welcome back, Mr. Webber. How was your time away?
2182 01:30:40,685 01:30:41,810 Uh... Uh...
2183 01:30:43,647 01:30:46,732 Hey, how was the trip? Hey, how was the trip?
2184 01:30:47,025 01:30:50,110 (ONCE IN A LIFETIME PLAYING) (ONCE IN A LIFETIME PLAYING)
2185 01:30:51,529 01:30:52,696 Good. Good.
2186 01:30:53,031 01:30:55,157 MAN: (SINGING) Letting the days go by MAN: (SINGING) Letting the days go by
2187 01:30:55,241 01:30:57,326 Let the water hold me down Let the water hold me down
2188 01:30:57,410 01:30:59,286 Letting the days go by Letting the days go by
2189 01:30:59,371 01:31:01,455 Water flowing underground Water flowing underground
2190 01:31:01,539 01:31:03,499 Into the blue again Into the blue again
2191 01:31:03,583 01:31:05,459 After the money's gone After the money's gone
2192 01:31:05,543 01:31:07,503 Once in a lifetime Once in a lifetime
2193 01:31:07,587 01:31:10,339 Water flowing underground Water flowing underground
2194 01:31:10,423 01:31:11,715 Motherfucker. Motherfucker.
2195 01:31:12,884 01:31:14,051 Nick? Nick?
2196 01:31:14,511 01:31:17,721 Baby, how was your weekend? I wasn't expecting you today. Baby, how was your weekend? I wasn't expecting you today.
2197 01:31:19,599 01:31:22,559 Baby. Baby. I got something to tell you. Baby. Baby. I got something to tell you.
2198 01:31:22,894 01:31:25,688 I know about what you did with a guy named Steve. I know about what you did with a guy named Steve.
2199 01:31:26,898 01:31:29,608 Steve? Our receptionist? Steve? Our receptionist?
2200 01:31:29,776 01:31:31,735 That Tyrese-looking motherfucker out there? That Tyrese-looking motherfucker out there?
2201 01:31:31,903 01:31:35,072 Baby, wait a minute. What are you talking about? Baby, wait a minute. What are you talking about?
2202 01:31:35,240 01:31:36,824 You think I'm fooling around? You think I'm fooling around?
2203 01:31:36,908 01:31:39,702 First of all, I would never screw around. First of all, I would never screw around.
2204 01:31:40,078 01:31:43,789 And you remember I told you about that crazy wrong number I got when I was nine. And you remember I told you about that crazy wrong number I got when I was nine.
2205 01:31:43,873 01:31:45,374 That man was so... I love you, Courtney. That man was so... I love you, Courtney.
2206 01:31:45,458 01:31:47,167 I love you so much. I love you so much.
2207 01:31:47,252 01:31:49,378 I love you, too, Nick Webber. I love you, too, Nick Webber.
2208 01:31:50,088 01:31:51,296 Nick Webber? Nick Webber?
2209 01:31:52,090 01:31:53,257 That's your name. That's your name.
2210 01:31:54,384 01:31:56,093 Yeah, it is my name. Yeah, it is my name.
2211 01:31:56,678 01:31:57,678 Yeah. Yeah.
2212 01:31:57,762 01:31:59,930 You know my name. Say it again. You know my name. Say it again.
2213 01:32:00,015 01:32:01,181 Nick Nick
2214 01:32:01,266 01:32:02,683 Webber. (CHUCKLES) Yeah. Webber. (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
2215 01:32:03,727 01:32:05,602 Grab that. I'll take this one. Grab that. I'll take this one.
2216 01:32:06,104 01:32:07,896 Hey, Mom. I made you a drink. Hey, Mom. I made you a drink.
2217 01:32:08,189 01:32:09,690 Is there alcohol in that? Is there alcohol in that?
2218 01:32:09,774 01:32:11,442 Yeah, I believe there's still alcohol in scotch. Yeah, I believe there's still alcohol in scotch.
2219 01:32:13,486 01:32:14,987 Talk about your lost weekend, huh? Talk about your lost weekend, huh?
2220 01:32:15,071 01:32:16,947 I know, right? Man. I know, right? Man.
2221 01:32:17,657 01:32:19,658 Hey, family. Hey, family.
2222 01:32:20,952 01:32:22,578 What are you faggots talking about? What are you faggots talking about?
2223 01:32:22,746 01:32:24,621 My two handsome men. My two handsome men.
2224 01:32:24,789 01:32:26,707 Let me get you another drink, Dad. Let me get you another drink, Dad.
2225 01:32:27,459 01:32:29,084 Daddy's little buddy. Daddy's little buddy.
2226 01:32:30,795 01:32:32,421 You know what I can't believe? You know what I can't believe?
2227 01:32:32,797 01:32:34,423 I can't believe we're all here. I can't believe we're all here.
2228 01:32:34,591 01:32:36,133 I can't believe we all made it. I can't believe we all made it.
2229 01:32:36,634 01:32:37,801 Made it together. Made it together.
2230 01:32:38,136 01:32:39,470 A toast. APRIL: A toast. A toast. APRIL: A toast.
2231 01:32:39,554 01:32:41,889 Approximately three days ago, or 20 years, Approximately three days ago, or 20 years,
2232 01:32:41,973 01:32:44,808 depending on your understanding of the time-space continuum, Jacob, depending on your understanding of the time-space continuum, Jacob,
2233 01:32:45,852 01:32:48,520 sitting here with you guys would have been my worst nightmare. sitting here with you guys would have been my worst nightmare.
2234 01:32:48,605 01:32:49,855 It's true. It's true.
2235 01:32:49,939 01:32:51,774 But I can honestly say right now But I can honestly say right now
2236 01:32:52,233 01:32:56,070 I'm very happy to be right here in this moment with you, I'm very happy to be right here in this moment with you,
2237 01:32:56,446 01:32:57,988 my best friends. APRIL: Hear, hear. my best friends. APRIL: Hear, hear.
2238 01:32:58,073 01:32:59,114 To friends. To friends.
2239 01:32:59,199 01:33:00,240 And family. And family.
2240 01:33:00,700 01:33:01,825 ADAM: All right. Cheers! ADAM: All right. Cheers!
2241 01:33:01,993 01:33:03,368 To past, present and future. To past, present and future.
2242 01:33:03,661 01:33:05,412 ALL: Cheers! ALL: Cheers!
2243 01:33:05,497 01:33:06,455 JACOB: So, "Lougle," huh? JACOB: So, "Lougle," huh?
2244 01:33:06,539 01:33:07,581 Yeah. Yeah.
2245 01:33:07,665 01:33:11,001 Lougle. Just this multibillion-dollar thing I did for a while. Lougle. Just this multibillion-dollar thing I did for a while.
2246 01:33:11,795 01:33:15,005 My real passion's music, though. So pissed the band broke up. My real passion's music, though. So pissed the band broke up.
2247 01:33:15,173 01:33:17,508 Band? What band were you ever in? Band? What band were you ever in?
2248 01:33:18,468 01:33:20,552 (HOME SWEET HOME PLAYING) (HOME SWEET HOME PLAYING)
2249 01:33:29,312 01:33:32,689 (SINGING) You know I'm a dreamer (SINGING) You know I'm a dreamer
2250 01:33:32,857 01:33:36,068 But my heart's of gold But my heart's of gold
2251 01:33:36,319 01:33:39,279 I had to run away high I had to run away high
2252 01:33:39,364 01:33:41,907 So I wouldn't come home low So I wouldn't come home low
2253 01:33:42,033 01:33:45,119 Just when things went right Just when things went right
2254 01:33:45,203 01:33:48,122 Doesn't mean they were always wrong Doesn't mean they were always wrong
2255 01:33:48,456 01:33:52,668 Just take this song and you'll never feel Just take this song and you'll never feel
2256 01:33:52,836 01:33:54,711 Left all alone Left all alone
2257 01:33:54,796 01:33:57,840 Take me to your heart Take me to your heart
2258 01:33:58,174 01:34:00,801 Feel me in your bones Feel me in your bones
2259 01:34:00,885 01:34:03,178 Just one more night Just one more night
2260 01:34:03,263 01:34:07,850 And I'm coming off this long and winding road And I'm coming off this long and winding road
2261 01:34:10,854 01:34:16,525 I'm on my way I'm on my way
2262 01:34:16,609 01:34:20,070 Home sweet home Home sweet home
2263 01:34:21,072 01:34:23,323 Tonight, tonight Tonight, tonight
2264 01:34:23,491 01:34:28,996 I'm on my way I'm on my way
2265 01:34:29,205 01:34:32,249 Home sweet home Home sweet home
2266 01:34:35,920 01:34:38,881 You know that I've seen You know that I've seen
2267 01:34:39,048 01:34:41,675 Too many romantic dreams Too many romantic dreams
2268 01:34:42,510 01:34:43,927 Up in lights Up in lights
2269 01:34:44,012 01:34:47,723 falling off the silver screen falling off the silver screen
2270 01:34:48,391 01:34:50,851 My heart's like an open book My heart's like an open book
2271 01:34:51,269 01:34:54,062 For the whole world to read For the whole world to read
2272 01:34:54,522 01:34:58,692 Sometimes nothing keeps me together Sometimes nothing keeps me together
2273 01:34:58,776 01:35:00,527 at the seams at the seams
2274 01:35:00,612 01:35:06,533 I'm on my way I'm on my way
2275 01:35:06,618 01:35:10,370 Home sweet home Home sweet home
2276 01:35:11,456 01:35:12,706 Yeah Yeah
2277 01:35:13,625 01:35:16,126 I'm on my way I'm on my way
2278 01:35:16,294 01:35:18,962 Just set me free Just set me free
2279 01:35:19,130 01:35:24,134 Home sweet home Home sweet home
2280 01:40:33,819 01:40:34,819 English - US - PSDH English - US - PSDH