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#	Start	End	Original	Translated
1	00:03:16,781	00:03:20,084	The only reason I'm here is because I	The only reason I'm here is because I
2	00:03:20,218	00:03:22,485	have contractual obligations.	have contractual obligations.
3	00:03:23,654	00:03:25,488	You called me, Joseph.	You called me, Joseph.
4	00:03:25,823	00:03:28,558	You picked up the phone and you said,	You picked up the phone and you said,
5	00:03:28,693	00:03:31,028	"Save me. This time I mean it."	"Save me. This time I mean it."
6	00:03:31,896	00:03:33,463	And what did I say to you.	And what did I say to you.
7	00:03:33,597	00:03:35,266	"I dare you."	"I dare you."
8	00:03:36,033	00:03:40,238	So what stopped you?	So what stopped you?
9	00:03:41,172	00:03:43,573	Well, the drinking's going well, I see.	Well, the drinking's going well, I see.
10	00:03:43,708	00:03:44,608	I'm cutting back.	I'm cutting back.
11	00:03:44,742	00:03:48,012	Yeah, so am I. Uh, boy!	Yeah, so am I. Uh, boy!
12	00:03:53,651	00:03:56,553	You have a contract that pays actual money.	You have a contract that pays actual money.
13	00:03:56,954	00:04:00,091	You are going to God knows where.	You are going to God knows where.
14	00:04:00,224	00:04:01,524	Michigan.	Michigan.
15	00:04:01,659	00:04:03,261	Wherever that is.	Wherever that is.
16	00:04:03,393	00:04:05,730	You will be adored, you'll be feted.	You will be adored, you'll be feted.
17	00:04:05,863	00:04:09,466	Who knows, you may even fall in love with some farm	Who knows, you may even fall in love with some farm
18	00:04:09,599	00:04:10,768	boy and spend the rest of your	boy and spend the rest of your
19	00:04:10,902	00:04:12,435	life writing children's books, hmm?	life writing children's books, hmm?
20	00:04:12,569	00:04:13,536	I hate children.	I hate children.
21	00:04:13,671	00:04:15,239	Well, it's not a prerequisite.	Well, it's not a prerequisite.
22	00:04:18,276	00:04:19,911	By the way, have you seen what's	By the way, have you seen what's
23	00:04:20,044	00:04:21,846	passing for television these days?	passing for television these days?
24	00:04:21,979	00:04:23,347	I don't believe in television.	I don't believe in television.
25	00:04:23,480	00:04:25,182	Who said you have to believe in it?	Who said you have to believe in it?
26	00:04:25,816	00:04:28,418	You don't want to do TV, fix screenplays.	You don't want to do TV, fix screenplays.
27	00:04:28,551	00:04:29,452	No.	No.
28	00:04:29,586	00:04:30,453	Uncredited.	Uncredited.
29	00:04:30,587	00:04:31,923	Movies are bupkis.	Movies are bupkis.
30	00:04:33,824	00:04:34,659	I don't even know what that means.	I don't even know what that means.
31	00:04:35,625	00:04:37,862	I'm a playwright, Helen. I'm a playwright.	I'm a playwright, Helen. I'm a playwright.
32	00:04:40,831	00:04:42,066	You're a dinosaur.	You're a dinosaur.
33	00:04:42,199	00:04:44,902	And looked what happened to them.	And looked what happened to them.
34	00:04:46,137	00:04:47,805	Little faster next time.	Little faster next time.
35	00:04:49,340	00:04:51,375	I'm afraid to ask, was there a	I'm afraid to ask, was there a
36	00:04:51,508	00:04:54,779	particular reason why you didn't send me your play?	particular reason why you didn't send me your play?
37	00:04:55,478	00:04:57,281	It's not readable.	It's not readable.
38	00:04:59,283	00:05:00,418	Joseph.	Joseph.
39	00:05:00,550	00:05:01,518	It's not.	It's not.
40	00:05:02,053	00:05:05,522	Please, and tell me there's a play,	Please, and tell me there's a play,
41	00:05:05,656	00:05:07,425	because I've already spent the commission.	because I've already spent the commission.
42	00:05:07,557	00:05:08,826	There's a play.	There's a play.
43	00:05:09,160	00:05:11,429	Because the last time you told me what you	Because the last time you told me what you
44	00:05:11,561	00:05:12,462	had wasn't readable-	had wasn't readable-
45	00:05:12,595	00:05:13,965	There's a play.	There's a play.
46	00:05:19,270	00:05:23,808	You know, someday, I'm gonna look down at my phone and	You know, someday, I'm gonna look down at my phone and
47	00:05:23,941	00:05:27,712	it's going to say, "Joseph Harris is dead."	it's going to say, "Joseph Harris is dead."
48	00:05:30,881	00:05:35,753	And I'm gonna cry, probably a lot. Not for what	And I'm gonna cry, probably a lot. Not for what
49	00:05:35,886	00:05:39,790	you were, for what you could have been.	you were, for what you could have been.
50	00:05:42,393	00:05:45,863	I have a deathly fear of flying.	I have a deathly fear of flying.
51	00:07:32,103	00:07:34,071	Ah.	Ah.
52	00:07:49,086	00:07:51,088	Come on, let's go.	Come on, let's go.
53	00:08:03,467	00:08:05,336	Ah!	Ah!
54	00:08:24,488	00:08:25,556	Uh hi, hello.	Uh hi, hello.
55	00:08:26,824	00:08:27,925	Uh, I'm Kenneth Waters, I'm the guy who's supposed to be here to	Uh, I'm Kenneth Waters, I'm the guy who's supposed to be here to
56	00:08:28,592	00:08:29,026	pick you up 45 minutes ago.	pick you up 45 minutes ago.
57	00:08:30,327	00:08:31,896	Uh sir, if I may, it's because of you that I've decided to live	Uh sir, if I may, it's because of you that I've decided to live
58	00:08:32,997	00:08:34,732	my... uh, commit to... commit my life to the theatre.	my... uh, commit to... commit my life to the theatre.
59	00:08:37,268	00:08:38,869	Oh, sorry!	Oh, sorry!
60	00:08:42,306	00:08:43,741	Oh God!	Oh God!
61	00:08:43,874	00:08:45,176	I wrote a couple of short plays	I wrote a couple of short plays
62	00:08:46,310	00:08:47,178	before, but they're only like 10 or 15 minutes long.	before, but they're only like 10 or 15 minutes long.
63	00:08:48,245	00:08:50,047	I got 1st place in like my high school's play jam.	I got 1st place in like my high school's play jam.
64	00:08:50,181	00:08:52,750	Uh, there were only two entries, but I still won.	Uh, there were only two entries, but I still won.
65	00:08:52,883	00:08:54,385	Don't talk. Don't talk, don't talk.	Don't talk. Don't talk, don't talk.
66	00:08:54,518	00:08:56,520	Oh no, if you open your mouth, you'll be stupid, just shut up.	Oh no, if you open your mouth, you'll be stupid, just shut up.
67	00:08:56,655	00:08:58,389	Just let him talk, let him... just I'll take him...	Just let him talk, let him... just I'll take him...
68	00:08:58,522	00:09:00,157	take him to the hotel and it'll be fine.	take him to the hotel and it'll be fine.
69	00:09:02,193	00:09:03,194	You'll ride in the car with Joseph Harris.	You'll ride in the car with Joseph Harris.
70	00:09:18,475	00:09:21,946	Oh! Oh there! There's the station.	Oh! Oh there! There's the station.
71	00:09:24,481	00:09:27,985	And here we go.	And here we go.
72	00:09:28,118	00:09:31,355	Here we go! Here we go!	Here we go! Here we go!
73	00:09:37,061	00:09:38,596	What happened to the 565?	What happened to the 565?
74	00:09:38,729	00:09:40,197	Lower your voice.	Lower your voice.
75	00:09:40,764	00:09:42,333	What happened to the 565?	What happened to the 565?
76	00:09:42,466	00:09:43,367	Lower.	Lower.
77	00:09:55,646	00:09:56,647	What happened to the 565?	What happened to the 565?
78	00:09:56,780	00:09:57,648	Come and gone.	Come and gone.
79	00:09:57,781	00:09:59,149	No. Yes.	No. Yes.
80	00:09:59,450	00:10:00,484	Was it on time?	Was it on time?
81	00:10:00,618	00:10:01,418	1:30.	1:30.
82	00:10:01,552	00:10:02,553	Huh, I'm a dead man.	Huh, I'm a dead man.
83	00:10:02,687	00:10:03,854	Nice knowin' ya.	Nice knowin' ya.
84	00:10:03,988	00:10:05,789	Uh, did anyone get off? An older man?	Uh, did anyone get off? An older man?
85	00:10:05,923	00:10:07,057	Very distinguished looking?	Very distinguished looking?
86	00:10:07,191	00:10:08,359	Wait, wait, wait, I have a picture.	Wait, wait, wait, I have a picture.
87	00:10:08,492	00:10:10,060	First drop off we've had in months.	First drop off we've had in months.
88	00:10:10,194	00:10:11,629	The 565 never stops,	The 565 never stops,
89	00:10:11,762	00:10:13,364	nor does the 283 or the 112.	nor does the 283 or the 112.
90	00:10:13,497	00:10:17,801	The only train that stops is the 419, every mornin' at 5:45.	The only train that stops is the 419, every mornin' at 5:45.
91	00:10:17,935	00:10:19,303	Here.	Here.
92	00:10:19,436	00:10:20,204	That's him.	That's him.
93	00:10:20,337	00:10:21,505	Did he say where he was going?	Did he say where he was going?
94	00:10:21,639	00:10:22,539	To sleep.	To sleep.
95	00:10:22,674	00:10:23,841	Where? The hotel?	Where? The hotel?
96	00:10:56,340	00:10:58,208	Hi, my name is Kenneth Waters.	Hi, my name is Kenneth Waters.
97	00:10:58,342	00:10:59,910	I'm with the Lima Theater Company.	I'm with the Lima Theater Company.
98	00:11:00,044	00:11:01,445	I'm here to take you to your hotel.	I'm here to take you to your hotel.
99	00:11:02,046	00:11:03,580	It's very nice.	It's very nice.
100	00:11:03,715	00:11:05,849	It's right downtown, within walking distance of the theatre.	It's right downtown, within walking distance of the theatre.
101	00:11:08,720	00:11:09,953	This feels like one of those	This feels like one of those
102	00:11:10,087	00:11:12,523	places you go only if you have to.	places you go only if you have to.
103	00:11:15,426	00:11:17,528	Does it feel that way to you, Walter?	Does it feel that way to you, Walter?
104	00:11:17,662	00:11:22,032	Uh, Kenneth. No, not at all. In fact, I grew up here.	Uh, Kenneth. No, not at all. In fact, I grew up here.
105	00:11:22,767	00:11:24,468	Escape.	Escape.
106	00:11:25,002	00:11:26,771	As soon as we get you to your hotel,	As soon as we get you to your hotel,
107	00:11:26,904	00:11:28,272	I'll make a run for it, I promise.	I'll make a run for it, I promise.
108	00:11:28,405	00:11:31,408	Where's the person who was supposed to pick me up?	Where's the person who was supposed to pick me up?
109	00:11:31,542	00:11:32,609	He was here.	He was here.
110	00:11:32,744	00:11:34,178	Uh well, I just said "he".	Uh well, I just said "he".
111	00:11:34,311	00:11:36,246	I... I... I... I... I meant "me".	I... I... I... I... I meant "me".
112	00:11:36,815	00:11:38,215	You were here.	You were here.
113	00:11:38,683	00:11:40,685	Actually, technically...	Actually, technically...
114	00:11:40,819	00:11:44,621	Actually, technically, oh okay...	Actually, technically, oh okay...
115	00:11:44,756	00:11:49,828	you weren't, because when I got off the train, I stood on the	you weren't, because when I got off the train, I stood on the
116	00:11:49,960	00:11:54,465	platform with my suitcase,	platform with my suitcase,
117	00:11:54,598	00:11:56,668	waiting for someone to...	waiting for someone to...
118	00:11:56,801	00:12:01,538	waiting for someone to pick me up, at the very least pick up my	waiting for someone to pick me up, at the very least pick up my
119	00:12:01,673	00:12:03,607	s... s-suitcase.	s... s-suitcase.
120	00:12:03,742	00:12:08,512	And after waiting for what seemed like a very long	And after waiting for what seemed like a very long
121	00:12:08,645	00:12:13,350	time, no one actually technically came, at which point	time, no one actually technically came, at which point
122	00:12:13,484	00:12:18,355	I actually technically made my way in here,	I actually technically made my way in here,
123	00:12:18,489	00:12:19,356	dragging my now	dragging my now
124	00:12:19,490	00:12:22,926	very heavy suitcase, sat down,	very heavy suitcase, sat down,
125	00:12:23,060	00:12:27,231	collapsing in this very spot and	collapsing in this very spot and
126	00:12:27,364	00:12:32,069	yet still, no one, no one	yet still, no one, no one
127	00:12:32,202	00:12:35,539	from the Lima Bean Repertory...	from the Lima Bean Repertory...
128	00:12:35,673	00:12:36,607	Just Lima.	Just Lima.
129	00:12:37,776	00:12:41,078	...Company came forward to collect me or my suitcase at	...Company came forward to collect me or my suitcase at
130	00:12:41,211	00:12:46,250	which point I fell asleep on	which point I fell asleep on
131	00:12:46,950	00:12:49,553	this sad excuse for a seating	this sad excuse for a seating
132	00:12:49,687	00:12:53,624	device, thoroughly wrenching my back.	device, thoroughly wrenching my back.
133	00:12:53,758	00:12:54,692	Here, let me get that for you.	Here, let me get that for you.
134	00:12:54,826	00:12:56,026	No!	No!
135	00:12:56,160	00:12:57,027	I'm sorry, I was just...	I'm sorry, I was just...
136	00:12:57,161	00:13:00,164	Don't apologize!	Don't apologize!
137	00:13:18,348	00:13:20,284	Oh.	Oh.
138	00:13:51,850	00:13:54,551	You know any good jokes?	You know any good jokes?
139	00:13:54,686	00:13:56,153	Jokes?	Jokes?
140	00:13:56,286	00:13:57,755	I need a laugh.	I need a laugh.
141	00:13:57,889	00:13:59,389	You're not serious.	You're not serious.
142	00:13:59,523	00:14:01,358	I'm a playwright, I'm eternally serious.	I'm a playwright, I'm eternally serious.
143	00:14:01,492	00:14:04,261	I'm also important. Which is even worse.	I'm also important. Which is even worse.
144	00:14:04,929	00:14:06,196	Uh no, no, I don't.	Uh no, no, I don't.
145	00:14:06,330	00:14:07,397	Besides even if I did, I'm afraid I'm not	Besides even if I did, I'm afraid I'm not
146	00:14:07,531	00:14:08,999	very good at telling them.	very good at telling them.
147	00:14:09,132	00:14:10,969	Hardly something to fear, go ask the masses.	Hardly something to fear, go ask the masses.
148	00:14:11,101	00:14:12,169	The who?	The who?
149	00:14:13,437	00:14:15,038	The ones who don't go to the theatre anymore, because they're	The ones who don't go to the theatre anymore, because they're
150	00:14:15,172	00:14:17,976	too busy binge watching the Kardashians.	too busy binge watching the Kardashians.
151	00:14:18,710	00:14:21,713	O'Neill was so lucky to have written when he did.	O'Neill was so lucky to have written when he did.
152	00:14:22,479	00:14:24,381	Look at him in there, huh.	Look at him in there, huh.
153	00:14:24,916	00:14:27,752	Trapped inside his little box.	Trapped inside his little box.
154	00:14:27,886	00:14:29,721	Of your own making, I might add!	Of your own making, I might add!
155	00:14:29,854	00:14:31,890	Yeah, it's okay. It's okay, we're leaving.	Yeah, it's okay. It's okay, we're leaving.
156	00:14:32,022	00:14:33,658	Well, not until I hear a joke!	Well, not until I hear a joke!
157	00:14:35,092	00:14:36,694	I'm a... I'm a very good laugher.	I'm a... I'm a very good laugher.
158	00:14:36,828	00:14:40,063	Producers count me into their Opening Nights and	Producers count me into their Opening Nights and
159	00:14:40,197	00:14:42,032	seat me right behind the critics.	seat me right behind the critics.
160	00:14:42,165	00:14:46,303	It never helps, but long as there's food, what do I care?	It never helps, but long as there's food, what do I care?
161	00:14:46,436	00:14:48,873	Well, you know who knows a lot of jokes?	Well, you know who knows a lot of jokes?
162	00:14:49,007	00:14:49,874	Hmm?	Hmm?
163	00:14:50,008	00:14:50,975	Simon.	Simon.
164	00:14:51,108	00:14:52,476	Neil?	Neil?
165	00:14:52,609	00:14:53,711	John.	John.
166	00:14:53,845	00:14:56,380	Simon John. Artistic Director of the Lima...	Simon John. Artistic Director of the Lima...
167	00:14:56,513	00:14:57,749	Oh, oh, oh, yes, yes!	Oh, oh, oh, yes, yes!
168	00:14:57,882	00:15:00,652	Yes! Mr. John and I spoke over the phone.	Yes! Mr. John and I spoke over the phone.
169	00:15:00,785	00:15:03,186	I'm not sure you're aware, but the man was born	I'm not sure you're aware, but the man was born
170	00:15:03,320	00:15:04,956	without a sense of humor which I didn't...	without a sense of humor which I didn't...
171	00:15:05,088	00:15:09,359	I didn't think was genetically possible until he	I didn't think was genetically possible until he
172	00:15:09,493	00:15:11,829	spent an hour and a half telling me about himself.	spent an hour and a half telling me about himself.
173	00:15:11,963	00:15:13,297	He can be very funny.	He can be very funny.
174	00:15:13,430	00:15:16,668	He's a bore. Why did the chicken cross the road?	He's a bore. Why did the chicken cross the road?
175	00:15:16,801	00:15:18,068	What?	What?
176	00:15:18,201	00:15:20,772	No, why.	No, why.
177	00:15:20,905	00:15:23,507	I say, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"	I say, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
178	00:15:23,640	00:15:24,341	You say...	You say...
179	00:15:24,474	00:15:25,409	To get to the other side.	To get to the other side.
180	00:15:25,542	00:15:26,610	That's the punch line.	That's the punch line.
181	00:15:26,744	00:15:27,644	I know.	I know.
182	00:15:28,579	00:15:29,379	Well, you said you didn't know any jokes.	Well, you said you didn't know any jokes.
183	00:15:30,014	00:15:30,547	Everybody knows that one.	Everybody knows that one.
184	00:15:31,214	00:15:32,649	Ah, ah, you prove my point!	Ah, ah, you prove my point!
185	00:15:33,450	00:15:36,721	Granted, you cut directly to the pay off, but	Granted, you cut directly to the pay off, but
186	00:15:36,854	00:15:39,323	then, that's what's wrong with your generation, isn't it?	then, that's what's wrong with your generation, isn't it?
187	00:15:39,456	00:15:41,325	It's all about the now, the being there,	It's all about the now, the being there,
188	00:15:41,458	00:15:42,526	not the getting there.	not the getting there.
189	00:15:42,660	00:15:44,628	You have no use for the journey.	You have no use for the journey.
190	00:15:45,730	00:15:47,065	I have a joke.	I have a joke.
191	00:15:47,197	00:15:48,298	Praise Jesus.	Praise Jesus.
192	00:15:48,432	00:15:50,068	It's a theatre joke.	It's a theatre joke.
193	00:15:51,002	00:15:53,705	Are you implying that the theatre is a joke?	Are you implying that the theatre is a joke?
194	00:15:53,838	00:15:56,640	No, of course not. That's the last thing I would do.	No, of course not. That's the last thing I would do.
195	00:15:56,774	00:15:59,610	Well, it is. Trust me, I've spent my life in it.	Well, it is. Trust me, I've spent my life in it.
196	00:16:00,310	00:16:01,645	I don't believe that for a second.	I don't believe that for a second.
197	00:16:02,412	00:16:05,349	Well, the sooner you do, the easier it'll be to	Well, the sooner you do, the easier it'll be to
198	00:16:05,482	00:16:07,284	read your own reviews.	read your own reviews.
199	00:16:08,385	00:16:09,553	Is it funny?	Is it funny?
200	00:16:09,687	00:16:11,288	This joke about the theatre?	This joke about the theatre?
201	00:16:12,589	00:16:14,291	Because if it's not, I'm going to personally see to it that you	Because if it's not, I'm going to personally see to it that you
202	00:16:14,424	00:16:16,226	never work in this business again.	never work in this business again.
203	00:16:19,429	00:16:20,564	That was a joke.	That was a joke.
204	00:16:20,698	00:16:22,599	Oh!	Oh!
205	00:16:26,470	00:16:28,205	Tell me your joke.	Tell me your joke.
206	00:16:28,338	00:16:29,774	Right, okay.	Right, okay.
207	00:16:31,042	00:16:33,410	Yes. There was this actor, uh an old character actor and he was	Yes. There was this actor, uh an old character actor and he was
208	00:16:33,543	00:16:35,479	playing the doctor in The Miracle Worker.	playing the doctor in The Miracle Worker.
209	00:16:35,612	00:16:37,815	You know, the famous play about Helen Keller?	You know, the famous play about Helen Keller?
210	00:16:37,949	00:16:39,583	Define famous.	Define famous.
211	00:16:39,717	00:16:41,184	What?	What?
212	00:16:41,318	00:16:43,655	What is fame?	What is fame?
213	00:16:44,621	00:16:46,658	It's well known, something well known.	It's well known, something well known.
214	00:16:47,324	00:16:49,727	I did not know that.	I did not know that.
215	00:16:50,460	00:16:53,263	Anyway, this actor was also a drunk and	Anyway, this actor was also a drunk and
216	00:16:53,397	00:16:54,666	his career had not been going well.	his career had not been going well.
217	00:16:54,799	00:16:56,500	And in the first scene of the play,	And in the first scene of the play,
218	00:16:56,633	00:16:57,969	he's to come on stage and inform Mr. and Mrs. Keller that	he's to come on stage and inform Mr. and Mrs. Keller that
219	00:16:58,102	00:16:59,771	their daughter is, you know, the way she is.	their daughter is, you know, the way she is.
220	00:16:59,904	00:17:01,706	So before the curtain goes up, this actor sits	So before the curtain goes up, this actor sits
221	00:17:01,839	00:17:03,206	in front of his dressing room mirror,	in front of his dressing room mirror,
222	00:17:03,340	00:17:05,175	drinking, staring at himself.	drinking, staring at himself.
223	00:17:05,308	00:17:06,711	The curtain goes up,	The curtain goes up,
224	00:17:07,979	00:17:09,413	this actor steps on stage and he says, "Mr. and Mrs. Keller, I'm	this actor steps on stage and he says, "Mr. and Mrs. Keller, I'm
225	00:17:09,546	00:17:10,915	sorry to tell you, but your daughter is dead."	sorry to tell you, but your daughter is dead."
226	00:17:11,049	00:17:12,784	And he turns and walks off, out of the	And he turns and walks off, out of the
227	00:17:12,917	00:17:15,185	theatre, never to set foot on the stage again.	theatre, never to set foot on the stage again.
228	00:17:23,027	00:17:25,930	Why?	Why?
229	00:17:28,733	00:17:29,599	What?	What?
230	00:17:29,734	00:17:30,735	No.	No.
231	00:17:30,868	00:17:32,904	Why?	Why?
232	00:17:33,037	00:17:34,471	That's the joke.	That's the joke.
233	00:17:35,073	00:17:36,674	What if I told you that the	What if I told you that the
234	00:17:36,808	00:17:39,443	actor's name was Kensington Malloy.	actor's name was Kensington Malloy.
235	00:17:40,243	00:17:45,116	And the theatre was the Morosco in 1973.	And the theatre was the Morosco in 1973.
236	00:17:45,817	00:17:49,252	And that I not only saw that production,	And that I not only saw that production,
237	00:17:49,386	00:17:53,725	I was in the audience the very night that Mr. Malloy walked	I was in the audience the very night that Mr. Malloy walked
238	00:17:53,858	00:17:58,930	onto a Broadway stage and ended both the play and his career?	onto a Broadway stage and ended both the play and his career?
239	00:17:59,063	00:18:00,397	I'm sorry.	I'm sorry.
240	00:18:00,530	00:18:03,901	Don't apologize! An artist never apologizes!	Don't apologize! An artist never apologizes!
241	00:18:04,035	00:18:05,069	I'm sorry.	I'm sorry.
242	00:18:05,203	00:18:06,104	Not sorry!	Not sorry!
243	00:18:06,269	00:18:07,304	Not sorry!	Not sorry!
244	00:18:07,437	00:18:08,605	Not sorry!	Not sorry!
245	00:18:08,740	00:18:09,674	Not sorry!	Not sorry!
246	00:18:10,775	00:18:13,745	For the record, that was not a joke, but an anecdote.	For the record, that was not a joke, but an anecdote.
247	00:18:13,878	00:18:15,913	Hardly comedic.	Hardly comedic.
248	00:18:16,047	00:18:19,416	Tragic, to be sure, in the classical sense.	Tragic, to be sure, in the classical sense.
249	00:18:19,549	00:18:21,085	You're aware of the Greeks?	You're aware of the Greeks?
250	00:18:21,219	00:18:22,285	Yes, of course.	Yes, of course.
251	00:18:22,419	00:18:24,789	Name three.	Name three.
252	00:18:26,256	00:18:27,557	What?	What?
253	00:18:27,692	00:18:30,393	Name three Greek playwrights whose influence on	Name three Greek playwrights whose influence on
254	00:18:30,527	00:18:32,930	the world of drama is still felt today.	the world of drama is still felt today.
255	00:18:33,064	00:18:35,733	Euripides, Sophocles, and Aristophanes.	Euripides, Sophocles, and Aristophanes.
256	00:18:35,867	00:18:38,468	Who said, "Anything awful makes me laugh"?	Who said, "Anything awful makes me laugh"?
257	00:18:38,602	00:18:40,138	Aristophanes?	Aristophanes?
258	00:18:40,270	00:18:44,008	Charles Lamb. You know who Charles Lamb is?	Charles Lamb. You know who Charles Lamb is?
259	00:18:44,142	00:18:45,243	Was he Greek?	Was he Greek?
260	00:18:45,375	00:18:46,811	Oh God.	Oh God.
261	00:18:50,848	00:18:54,484	An obscure English author who	An obscure English author who
262	00:18:54,618	00:18:56,754	once misbehaved at a funeral,	once misbehaved at a funeral,
263	00:18:56,888	00:19:00,725	laughing during the eulogy or something.	laughing during the eulogy or something.
264	00:19:04,262	00:19:06,731	He wrote a letter in the form of	He wrote a letter in the form of
265	00:19:06,864	00:19:09,834	an apology to the appropriately	an apology to the appropriately
266	00:19:09,967	00:19:13,671	appalled widow, stated with great importance,	appalled widow, stated with great importance,
267	00:19:15,139	00:19:17,708	"Anything awful makes me laugh."	"Anything awful makes me laugh."
268	00:19:24,381	00:19:28,686	Actually technically, you know what I would really like?	Actually technically, you know what I would really like?
269	00:19:28,820	00:19:30,387	Yeah, anything. You name it.	Yeah, anything. You name it.
270	00:19:31,421	00:19:33,858	Oh, you're over here now.	Oh, you're over here now.
271	00:19:34,725	00:19:36,227	A drink.	A drink.
272	00:19:36,359	00:19:41,032	No. I mean, I can't.	No. I mean, I can't.
273	00:19:41,631	00:19:44,467	Have I mentioned I have won the Pulitzer?	Have I mentioned I have won the Pulitzer?
274	00:19:44,601	00:19:45,736	For Up a Lonely River.	For Up a Lonely River.
275	00:19:45,870	00:19:47,604	It's my favorite play in the whole world.	It's my favorite play in the whole world.
276	00:19:47,738	00:19:49,506	I cannot even begin to tell you how much that play means to me.	I cannot even begin to tell you how much that play means to me.
277	00:19:49,639	00:19:52,210	As much as a drink would mean to me?	As much as a drink would mean to me?
278	00:19:52,877	00:19:55,012	Mr. Harris, Simon made it very clear, under no	Mr. Harris, Simon made it very clear, under no
279	00:19:55,146	00:19:57,581	circumstances was I to get you liquor of any kind.	circumstances was I to get you liquor of any kind.
280	00:19:57,715	00:20:00,051	My reputation arrived before I did.	My reputation arrived before I did.
281	00:20:00,184	00:20:00,818	Yeah, I'm sorry.	Yeah, I'm sorry.
282	00:20:00,952	00:20:01,819	Not.	Not.
283	00:20:01,953	00:20:02,887	Not sorry.	Not sorry.
284	00:20:03,020	00:20:04,222	What's your name again?	What's your name again?
285	00:20:04,354	00:20:05,488	Kenneth Waters.	Kenneth Waters.
286	00:20:05,622	00:20:07,892	Do you drink, Mr. Waters?	Do you drink, Mr. Waters?
287	00:20:08,025	00:20:09,093	No.	No.
288	00:20:09,227	00:20:10,560	Would you like to start?	Would you like to start?
289	00:20:10,695	00:20:12,462	I'm sure the hotel has a mini-bar.	I'm sure the hotel has a mini-bar.
290	00:20:13,097	00:20:14,397	Yes, I'm sure it does.	Yes, I'm sure it does.
291	00:20:14,966	00:20:19,502	Who told you about my uh, little problem?	Who told you about my uh, little problem?
292	00:20:19,636	00:20:21,438	I can't tell you that.	I can't tell you that.
293	00:20:21,571	00:20:22,974	The Pulitzer.	The Pulitzer.
294	00:20:23,741	00:20:26,344	Your agent. She told Simon to	Your agent. She told Simon to
295	00:20:26,476	00:20:28,079	"treat him like the alcoholic he is".	"treat him like the alcoholic he is".
296	00:20:28,212	00:20:29,479	Former agent.	Former agent.
297	00:20:29,613	00:20:31,048	Oh, I didn't know.	Oh, I didn't know.
298	00:20:31,182	00:20:34,051	Neither does she. Tell me something, did she use the	Neither does she. Tell me something, did she use the
299	00:20:34,185	00:20:36,386	line about how I "can't possibly	line about how I "can't possibly
300	00:20:36,519	00:20:38,155	write from the bottom of a bottle"?	write from the bottom of a bottle"?
301	00:20:38,756	00:20:40,358	I don't know what she said.	I don't know what she said.
302	00:20:40,490	00:20:41,391	Pulitzer.	Pulitzer.
303	00:20:41,524	00:20:42,392	Yeah, word for word.	Yeah, word for word.
304	00:20:42,525	00:20:43,794	Can we go now?	Can we go now?
305	00:20:44,061	00:20:45,796	She stole that line from me, I'll have you know.	She stole that line from me, I'll have you know.
306	00:20:45,930	00:20:48,366	This from a wench who can drink me under any table in New York.	This from a wench who can drink me under any table in New York.
307	00:20:48,498	00:20:49,466	I'll pull the car up.	I'll pull the car up.
308	00:20:49,599	00:20:51,135	Oh God, how much?	Oh God, how much?
309	00:20:51,269	00:20:52,770	How much what?	How much what?
310	00:20:52,904	00:20:55,072	Over and above whatever it is, you can round up of course.	Over and above whatever it is, you can round up of course.
311	00:20:55,206	00:20:56,439	Sir.	Sir.
312	00:20:56,908	00:20:58,608	Preferably, gin, though at this point I'll take anything this	Preferably, gin, though at this point I'll take anything this
313	00:20:58,743	00:20:59,844	side of mouthwash.	side of mouthwash.
314	00:20:59,977	00:21:01,045	I told you. I...	I told you. I...
315	00:21:01,178	00:21:02,813	20 bucks, 20 bucks for one little drink.	20 bucks, 20 bucks for one little drink.
316	00:21:02,947	00:21:04,348	I'm sure once we get to the hotel...	I'm sure once we get to the hotel...
317	00:21:04,481	00:21:06,684	Get me a goddamn drink!	Get me a goddamn drink!
318	00:21:37,214	00:21:39,016	Go.	Go.
319	00:21:39,150	00:21:40,918	What?	What?
320	00:21:41,052	00:21:42,987	You may go.	You may go.
321	00:21:45,089	00:21:46,223	Go where?	Go where?
322	00:21:46,657	00:21:49,160	Wherever someone like you goes.	Wherever someone like you goes.
323	00:21:49,293	00:21:50,328	I'm not going without you.	I'm not going without you.
324	00:21:50,460	00:21:51,696	Yes, you are.	Yes, you are.
325	00:21:52,797	00:21:53,630	You're gonna walk out that door, you're gonna get	You're gonna walk out that door, you're gonna get
326	00:21:54,231	00:21:55,733	in your car, drive away.	in your car, drive away.
327	00:21:56,968	00:21:59,403	Before you do, however, you are going to book me on the next	Before you do, however, you are going to book me on the next
328	00:21:59,569	00:22:00,738	train back to New York.	train back to New York.
329	00:22:00,871	00:22:02,505	Well, Mr. Harris, you can't do that.	Well, Mr. Harris, you can't do that.
330	00:22:02,639	00:22:04,275	I can and I will.	I can and I will.
331	00:22:04,408	00:22:05,309	You have rehearsal.	You have rehearsal.
332	00:22:06,177	00:22:07,610	No, no, no, no, you have rehearsal.	No, no, no, no, you have rehearsal.
333	00:22:07,745	00:22:09,847	I am going back to New York.	I am going back to New York.
334	00:22:09,981	00:22:11,349	Sir, I'm just doing what I'm told.	Sir, I'm just doing what I'm told.
335	00:22:11,481	00:22:12,350	Not yet, you're not.	Not yet, you're not.
336	00:22:13,384	00:22:13,985	If I don't deliver you to rehearsal first thing	If I don't deliver you to rehearsal first thing
337	00:22:14,584	00:22:14,986	tomorrow morning then...	tomorrow morning then...
338	00:22:15,720	00:22:17,221	Oh, oh, now I'm a package, am I?	Oh, oh, now I'm a package, am I?
339	00:22:17,355	00:22:18,621	No, no, no...	No, no, no...
340	00:22:18,756	00:22:20,024	I'm just, I'm something to be delivered?	I'm just, I'm something to be delivered?
341	00:22:20,157	00:22:21,058	No, no, no, no, no...	No, no, no, no, no...
342	00:22:21,192	00:22:22,326	Just shipped overnight...	Just shipped overnight...
343	00:22:22,460	00:22:23,427	No!	No!
344	00:22:24,527	00:22:25,162	Because I absolutely, positively have to be there?	Because I absolutely, positively have to be there?
345	00:22:26,397	00:22:27,431	I'm sure you'll feel differently once you've talked to Simon.	I'm sure you'll feel differently once you've talked to Simon.
346	00:22:27,564	00:22:28,366	He can't wait to meet you.	He can't wait to meet you.
347	00:22:28,498	00:22:29,033	Apparently, he can.	Apparently, he can.
348	00:22:30,034	00:22:31,135	Because otherwise, he wouldn't have sent you.	Because otherwise, he wouldn't have sent you.
349	00:22:51,856	00:22:54,125	Sir, I'm just an apprentice.	Sir, I'm just an apprentice.
350	00:22:54,658	00:22:56,526	Apprentice to what?	Apprentice to what?
351	00:22:56,660	00:22:58,528	Hmm, I'm sorry?	Hmm, I'm sorry?
352	00:22:58,662	00:23:00,530	Stop apologizing!	Stop apologizing!
353	00:23:00,664	00:23:01,832	I'm sorry.	I'm sorry.
354	00:23:01,966	00:23:02,632	Not!	Not!
355	00:23:02,767	00:23:04,201	Not sorry!	Not sorry!
356	00:23:06,137	00:23:09,539	Don't tell me you're studying to be an actor.	Don't tell me you're studying to be an actor.
357	00:23:10,875	00:23:12,109	I don't have the talent.	I don't have the talent.
358	00:23:12,243	00:23:13,778	You don't need talent.	You don't need talent.
359	00:23:14,311	00:23:17,815	All you need is a deep-seated belief that the whole world's	All you need is a deep-seated belief that the whole world's
360	00:23:17,948	00:23:19,817	as excited about you as you are.	as excited about you as you are.
361	00:23:20,751	00:23:23,087	I wanna be a playwright.	I wanna be a playwright.
362	00:23:24,321	00:23:25,588	Someday.	Someday.
363	00:23:25,723	00:23:26,791	Not yet, not now.	Not yet, not now.
364	00:23:27,892	00:23:28,359	I have so much to learn, but that's why I'm here,	I have so much to learn, but that's why I'm here,
365	00:23:29,427	00:23:30,394	that's why I wanted to be the one to pick you up.	that's why I wanted to be the one to pick you up.
366	00:23:30,528	00:23:31,295	I had to meet you.	I had to meet you.
367	00:23:32,530	00:23:34,564	To just... just I don't know, to just be around you, I guess to	To just... just I don't know, to just be around you, I guess to
368	00:23:34,698	00:23:36,267	experience your essence.	experience your essence.
369	00:23:36,400	00:23:37,334	I have an essence?	I have an essence?
370	00:23:37,468	00:23:38,736	No, not... not essence.	No, not... not essence.
371	00:23:38,869	00:23:41,305	No, no, no, I like... like having an essence.	No, no, no, I like... like having an essence.
372	00:23:41,439	00:23:43,140	I told Simon, "I don't care what time he gets	I told Simon, "I don't care what time he gets
373	00:23:43,274	00:23:45,009	in, I want to be the one who gets to pick up the greatest	in, I want to be the one who gets to pick up the greatest
374	00:23:45,142	00:23:46,677	playwright in the history of the American Theatre.	playwright in the history of the American Theatre.
375	00:23:46,811	00:23:48,312	In the history of theatre, period."	In the history of theatre, period."
376	00:23:49,579	00:23:51,614	Better than O'Neill, better than Miller, better than William...	Better than O'Neill, better than Miller, better than William...
377	00:23:51,749	00:23:53,583	Shakespeare?	Shakespeare?
378	00:23:58,322	00:24:00,157	Yes.	Yes.
379	00:24:01,125	00:24:02,625	I have so many questions for you,	I have so many questions for you,
380	00:24:02,760	00:24:03,727	I don't know where to start.	I don't know where to start.
381	00:24:05,763	00:24:09,800	Questions are what make art, art.	Questions are what make art, art.
382	00:24:09,934	00:24:12,236	Writers on Writing, published in 1986.	Writers on Writing, published in 1986.
383	00:24:13,537	00:24:16,073	Very good.	Very good.
384	00:24:16,874	00:24:18,909	I've read everything you've ever	I've read everything you've ever
385	00:24:19,043	00:24:21,512	written or said, for that matter.	written or said, for that matter.
386	00:24:22,146	00:24:25,449	The full lengths, the one acts, the essays, the	The full lengths, the one acts, the essays, the
387	00:24:25,583	00:24:27,952	monologues, even your Op-Ed pieces in the New York Times.	monologues, even your Op-Ed pieces in the New York Times.
388	00:24:28,085	00:24:29,720	One of my favorites was The	One of my favorites was The
389	00:24:29,854	00:24:32,123	State of the American Theatre, October, 1998.	State of the American Theatre, October, 1998.
390	00:24:32,256	00:24:34,158	You were so eloquent about the need for a	You were so eloquent about the need for a
391	00:24:34,291	00:24:36,694	collective voice to speak from our stage and your prediction	collective voice to speak from our stage and your prediction
392	00:24:36,827	00:24:37,895	that Broadway would succumb to	that Broadway would succumb to
393	00:24:38,028	00:24:40,664	uh, how did you put it?	uh, how did you put it?
394	00:24:40,798	00:24:42,366	Oh, oh, hang on.	Oh, oh, hang on.
395	00:24:46,470	00:24:50,374	Joseph Harris, 1998.	Joseph Harris, 1998.
396	00:24:51,709	00:24:54,612	"In our quest to find new voices,	"In our quest to find new voices,
397	00:24:54,745	00:24:56,280	the American Stage will turn its	the American Stage will turn its
398	00:24:57,548	00:24:59,617	back on its very own, only to drop the bar and welcome with	back on its very own, only to drop the bar and welcome with
399	00:24:59,750	00:25:01,619	open arms anything with an accent,	open arms anything with an accent,
400	00:25:01,752	00:25:04,021	preferably ones spewing Irish blarney,	preferably ones spewing Irish blarney,
401	00:25:04,155	00:25:06,557	Royal pomposity or Cockney slang.	Royal pomposity or Cockney slang.
402	00:25:06,690	00:25:08,425	Mark my words..." I love this part,	Mark my words..." I love this part,
403	00:25:08,559	00:25:11,629	"To spend one's life writing for the American Theatre is to aim	"To spend one's life writing for the American Theatre is to aim
404	00:25:11,762	00:25:14,965	for a place somewhere between airport paperbacks and the	for a place somewhere between airport paperbacks and the
405	00:25:15,099	00:25:17,301	graffiti located above a dive bar urinal."	graffiti located above a dive bar urinal."
406	00:25:17,434	00:25:19,270	Yeah,	Yeah,
407	00:25:20,738	00:25:22,106	I was drunk.	I was drunk.
408	00:25:22,239	00:25:24,008	Well, I found it prophetic.	Well, I found it prophetic.
409	00:25:24,675	00:25:26,110	I had just opened a play	I had just opened a play
410	00:25:27,244	00:25:29,513	that included a 10-minute sequence where one of the	that included a 10-minute sequence where one of the
411	00:25:30,281	00:25:35,085	fattest actors you've ever seen dropped his pants and farted	fattest actors you've ever seen dropped his pants and farted
412	00:25:35,219	00:25:37,288	into the face of the audience.	into the face of the audience.
413	00:25:38,889	00:25:42,661	Needless to say, the critics were not kind.	Needless to say, the critics were not kind.
414	00:25:43,727	00:25:48,732	So I wrote to the Times, explaining it was a metaphor for	So I wrote to the Times, explaining it was a metaphor for
415	00:25:48,866	00:25:51,969	the slow, poisonous disintegration of	the slow, poisonous disintegration of
416	00:25:52,102	00:25:53,337	Creative America.	Creative America.
417	00:25:53,470	00:25:57,141	I think they published it out of pity.	I think they published it out of pity.
418	00:25:57,641	00:26:01,011	Another American playwright screaming from the ledge.	Another American playwright screaming from the ledge.
419	00:26:01,545	00:26:04,114	Yeah, but you were right.	Yeah, but you were right.
420	00:26:04,615	00:26:06,483	Hardly.	Hardly.
421	00:26:06,617	00:26:09,453	Though I must say, if the actor had farted in an	Though I must say, if the actor had farted in an
422	00:26:09,587	00:26:12,189	English accent, the play would still be running.	English accent, the play would still be running.
423	00:26:13,190	00:26:15,593	No one writes for the theatre anymore, Mr. Waters.	No one writes for the theatre anymore, Mr. Waters.
424	00:26:15,726	00:26:16,594	No, no, no, that's... that's...	No, no, no, that's... that's...
425	00:26:16,727	00:26:17,928	No, it's true.	No, it's true.
426	00:26:18,829	00:26:21,031	It's all screenplays, and cable deals,	It's all screenplays, and cable deals,
427	00:26:21,165	00:26:23,834	and getting a seat at the table with	and getting a seat at the table with
428	00:26:23,968	00:26:25,803	a dozen other ex-playwrights.	a dozen other ex-playwrights.
429	00:26:25,936	00:26:27,471	But you can't really blame them, can you?	But you can't really blame them, can you?
430	00:26:27,605	00:26:30,074	I mean the... the theatre won't support you,	I mean the... the theatre won't support you,
431	00:26:30,207	00:26:33,844	you have to follow the herd out to California,	you have to follow the herd out to California,
432	00:26:34,578	00:26:38,115	get paid a king's ransom, because you can spell your name.	get paid a king's ransom, because you can spell your name.
433	00:26:38,549	00:26:40,551	Yeah, but... but you didn't.	Yeah, but... but you didn't.
434	00:26:41,085	00:26:43,187	Much to my accountant's dismay.	Much to my accountant's dismay.
435	00:26:43,320	00:26:45,690	Active duty military discounts.	Active duty military discounts.
436	00:26:45,823	00:26:50,160	All active duty military are entitled to discounts up to 50%.	All active duty military are entitled to discounts up to 50%.
437	00:26:50,894	00:26:52,263	When others turned their backs,	When others turned their backs,
438	00:26:53,330	00:26:54,231	you nobly clung to your principles, hanging on to	you nobly clung to your principles, hanging on to
439	00:26:55,065	00:26:55,599	what it means to be a true artist.	what it means to be a true artist.
440	00:26:56,701	00:26:59,970	Call Expedition today.	Call Expedition today.
441	00:27:00,204	00:27:01,972	As a relaxing alternative to	As a relaxing alternative to
442	00:27:02,106	00:27:04,275	today's airport body scan, the latest bomb scans	today's airport body scan, the latest bomb scans
443	00:27:24,094	00:27:26,063	Stowing away is against the law.	Stowing away is against the law.
444	00:27:26,196	00:27:28,733	Any activity around the train that is illegal	Any activity around the train that is illegal
445	00:27:28,866	00:27:31,535	please contact Expedition employees.	please contact Expedition employees.
446	00:27:31,670	00:27:33,570	Thank you and have a good day.	Thank you and have a good day.
447	00:27:35,774	00:27:37,709	Hardly noble.	Hardly noble.
448	00:27:38,342	00:27:41,845	To me, you are. To me, you are the American Theatre.	To me, you are. To me, you are the American Theatre.
449	00:27:41,979	00:27:43,213	Strong words, I know.	Strong words, I know.
450	00:27:43,347	00:27:44,248	No, no...	No, no...
451	00:27:45,482	00:27:46,216	But there is no one and I mean no one with your uncompromising	But there is no one and I mean no one with your uncompromising
452	00:27:46,817	00:27:47,284	commitment to your art.	commitment to your art.
453	00:27:48,018	00:27:49,286	It is because of you that I have	It is because of you that I have
454	00:27:49,420	00:27:51,021	decided to commit my life to the theatre.	decided to commit my life to the theatre.
455	00:27:51,155	00:27:52,724	It is your art, your craft, your brilliance that has	It is your art, your craft, your brilliance that has
456	00:27:52,856	00:27:54,358	opened up the creativity... That lies within my very soul.	opened up the creativity... That lies within my very soul.
457	00:27:54,491	00:27:55,526	Here, just shut up! Just shut up.	Here, just shut up! Just shut up.
458	00:27:55,660	00:27:57,094	Just take that.	Just take that.
459	00:27:58,763	00:28:00,064	What? What's this?	What? What's this?
460	00:28:00,197	00:28:01,465	It's the advance.	It's the advance.
461	00:28:01,999	00:28:04,001	Much as I love being paid to write,	Much as I love being paid to write,
462	00:28:04,134	00:28:06,303	I hate being paid not to even more.	I hate being paid not to even more.
463	00:28:07,137	00:28:08,539	I don't understand.	I don't understand.
464	00:28:09,106	00:28:11,308	There is no play.	There is no play.
465	00:28:12,677	00:28:14,545	What?	What?
466	00:28:14,679	00:28:16,447	I haven't written a word.	I haven't written a word.
467	00:28:17,981	00:28:21,786	I'd apologize, but I'm in the arts, so...	I'd apologize, but I'm in the arts, so...
468	00:28:21,919	00:28:23,087	Is this some kind of joke?	Is this some kind of joke?
469	00:28:23,220	00:28:25,122	This is not a joke.	This is not a joke.
470	00:28:27,558	00:28:29,026	This is not a joke.	This is not a joke.
471	00:28:29,159	00:28:31,895	I think we've established this is not a joke.	I think we've established this is not a joke.
472	00:28:32,329	00:28:33,597	But we have to have a play.	But we have to have a play.
473	00:28:33,732	00:28:34,932	Well, if I don't have one,	Well, if I don't have one,
474	00:28:35,065	00:28:36,233	there's no way you're going to have one.	there's no way you're going to have one.
475	00:28:36,367	00:28:37,401	But we... we... we commissioned you.	But we... we... we commissioned you.
476	00:28:38,535	00:28:39,671	I had a couple ideas, a couple things I thought might	I had a couple ideas, a couple things I thought might
477	00:28:41,004	00:28:44,441	have legs enough to sail past page 20, flourish into something	have legs enough to sail past page 20, flourish into something
478	00:28:44,575	00:28:47,746	grand, an... an... an epic drama, perhaps.	grand, an... an... an epic drama, perhaps.
479	00:28:47,878	00:28:52,416	A comedy! I'd have settled for a comedy, but in the end, nothing.	A comedy! I'd have settled for a comedy, but in the end, nothing.
480	00:28:52,549	00:28:53,484	Uh, wait.	Uh, wait.
481	00:28:54,719	00:28:56,721	Though, I did have one idea about a girl and her dog, and	Though, I did have one idea about a girl and her dog, and
482	00:28:56,855	00:28:58,122	then the dog died and the girl	then the dog died and the girl
483	00:28:59,089	00:29:00,023	turned into a transvestite and I thought,	turned into a transvestite and I thought,
484	00:29:00,725	00:29:01,358	Well, that's hardly original.	Well, that's hardly original.
485	00:29:01,959	00:29:02,926	Mr. Harris!	Mr. Harris!
486	00:29:03,060	00:29:03,961	Make the dog the transvestite.	Make the dog the transvestite.
487	00:29:04,094	00:29:05,162	You sent us a first draft.	You sent us a first draft.
488	00:29:05,929	00:29:07,030	Of what?	Of what?
489	00:29:07,164	00:29:08,599	Simon told the staff it was brilliant.	Simon told the staff it was brilliant.
490	00:29:08,733	00:29:10,467	The only thing of any brilliance	The only thing of any brilliance
491	00:29:10,601	00:29:15,038	were Simon's efforts to cover his artistic ass.	were Simon's efforts to cover his artistic ass.
492	00:29:16,273	00:29:18,942	I called and told him that what I had wasn't readable.	I called and told him that what I had wasn't readable.
493	00:29:19,076	00:29:22,012	Little advice, when a playwright calls to say that his play isn't	Little advice, when a playwright calls to say that his play isn't
494	00:29:22,146	00:29:24,281	readable, it's 'cause there's nothing to read.	readable, it's 'cause there's nothing to read.
495	00:29:26,950	00:29:28,051	I'm calling Simon.	I'm calling Simon.
496	00:29:28,185	00:29:29,186	Do 'Up a Lonely River'.	Do 'Up a Lonely River'.
497	00:29:29,319	00:29:30,621	We just did it two months ago!	We just did it two months ago!
498	00:29:30,755	00:29:31,588	Do it again.	Do it again.
499	00:29:31,723	00:29:32,990	We can't do it again!	We can't do it again!
500	00:29:33,123	00:29:34,558	Oh, sure you can. Tell 'em it's a rerun.	Oh, sure you can. Tell 'em it's a rerun.
501	00:29:34,692	00:29:36,226	You don't understand, we've announced it to the world!	You don't understand, we've announced it to the world!
502	00:29:36,360	00:29:38,061	Oh, good Lord, I hope you have enough seats.	Oh, good Lord, I hope you have enough seats.
503	00:29:38,195	00:29:39,563	Mr. Harris, this is a very big deal for us.	Mr. Harris, this is a very big deal for us.
504	00:29:39,697	00:29:41,165	For the first time in our history,	For the first time in our history,
505	00:29:41,298	00:29:42,801	Variety is sending their Chicago critic.	Variety is sending their Chicago critic.
506	00:29:42,933	00:29:45,502	Sir, could you please tell me the estimated time of	Sir, could you please tell me the estimated time of
507	00:29:45,636	00:29:47,571	departure for the next train to New York?	departure for the next train to New York?
508	00:29:47,705	00:29:48,605	5:45.	5:45.
509	00:29:48,740	00:29:49,674	Where do I transfer?	Where do I transfer?
510	00:29:50,875	00:29:52,509	Local stops to Toledo. Transfer to the Express from there.	Local stops to Toledo. Transfer to the Express from there.
511	00:29:52,643	00:29:53,243	I'll take it.	I'll take it.
512	00:29:53,377	00:29:54,244	No, he doesn't want it!	No, he doesn't want it!
513	00:29:54,378	00:29:55,312	- Round trip? - No!	- Round trip? - No!
514	00:29:55,446	00:29:56,513	- God, no. - Window or aisle?	- God, no. - Window or aisle?
515	00:29:56,647	00:29:57,548	Neither! Window.	Neither! Window.
516	00:29:58,649	00:29:59,651	Mr. Harris, please don't do this, I'm begging you.	Mr. Harris, please don't do this, I'm begging you.
517	00:29:59,784	00:30:00,250	Will you just relax.	Will you just relax.
518	00:30:01,218	00:30:02,419	Welcome to the exciting world of train travel.	Welcome to the exciting world of train travel.
519	00:30:02,553	00:30:03,954	Not everything in life is your fault.	Not everything in life is your fault.
520	00:30:04,087	00:30:04,889	By purchasing a round trip ticket...	By purchasing a round trip ticket...
521	00:30:05,022	00:30:05,956	Yes, yes, yes, okay.	Yes, yes, yes, okay.
522	00:30:06,089	00:30:07,224	No, not this shit, trust me.	No, not this shit, trust me.
523	00:30:07,357	00:30:08,025	Seniors, if you are young at heart...	Seniors, if you are young at heart...
524	00:30:08,158	00:30:08,860	Okay, somehow...	Okay, somehow...
525	00:30:08,992	00:30:09,928	I'll take it.	I'll take it.
526	00:30:10,060	00:30:11,328	get 5% off the regular fare.	get 5% off the regular fare.
527	00:30:11,462	00:30:12,429	Phew, oh my God, Simon's gonna kill me.	Phew, oh my God, Simon's gonna kill me.
528	00:30:12,563	00:30:13,698	Students, take advantage of...	Students, take advantage of...
529	00:30:13,832	00:30:14,598	Do I look like a student to you?	Do I look like a student to you?
530	00:30:14,732	00:30:15,667	Please, hey, hey!	Please, hey, hey!
531	00:30:15,800	00:30:17,234	price of an unrestricted ticket.	price of an unrestricted ticket.
532	00:30:17,367	00:30:17,902	Mr. Harris, whatever I did or didn't do, I'm sorry.	Mr. Harris, whatever I did or didn't do, I'm sorry.
533	00:30:18,035	00:30:18,502	Not.	Not.
534	00:30:19,671	00:30:20,270	I'm whatever I have to be to keep you from doing this!	I'm whatever I have to be to keep you from doing this!
535	00:30:21,038	00:30:21,873	My stay here is over. Finished.	My stay here is over. Finished.
536	00:30:22,005	00:30:23,140	All military persons...	All military persons...
537	00:30:23,273	00:30:24,274	Listen, just talk to Simon, okay?	Listen, just talk to Simon, okay?
538	00:30:24,408	00:30:25,375	-continental United States.	-continental United States.
539	00:30:25,509	00:30:26,310	Military?	Military?
540	00:30:26,443	00:30:27,511	Fare may be higher during...	Fare may be higher during...
541	00:30:27,644	00:30:29,379	- What's the damage? - 152 bucks.	- What's the damage? - 152 bucks.
542	00:30:30,013	00:30:31,315	Give me 152 bucks.	Give me 152 bucks.
543	00:30:31,448	00:30:32,583	Do I look rich to you?	Do I look rich to you?
544	00:30:32,717	00:30:33,651	Yes.	Yes.
545	00:30:33,785	00:30:34,786	You want the ticket or not?	You want the ticket or not?
546	00:30:34,919	00:30:36,253	No! He's not going anywhere!	No! He's not going anywhere!
547	00:30:36,386	00:30:37,789	I thought you said you was takin' him somewhere.	I thought you said you was takin' him somewhere.
548	00:30:37,922	00:30:41,024	I... I am. Okay, we are in the process of leaving, okay?	I... I am. Okay, we are in the process of leaving, okay?
549	00:30:41,158	00:30:42,259	We just haven't left yet.	We just haven't left yet.
550	00:30:46,230	00:30:51,134	And you've been holding out on me? Huh?	And you've been holding out on me? Huh?
551	00:30:51,870	00:30:53,738	I got $3!	I got $3!
552	00:30:54,371	00:30:57,842	And what pray tell is this?	And what pray tell is this?
553	00:30:57,976	00:30:58,943	Nothing.	Nothing.
554	00:30:59,076	00:31:00,310	- Give it to me. - Is this a play?	- Give it to me. - Is this a play?
555	00:31:00,444	00:31:01,813	- Give it back. - You really are a playwright.	- Give it back. - You really are a playwright.
556	00:31:01,946	00:31:04,014	I am not a playwright!	I am not a playwright!
557	00:31:04,849	00:31:07,050	I am not a playwright.	I am not a playwright.
558	00:31:07,551	00:31:12,623	Cancel his ticket. I am here to pick you up, that's it.	Cancel his ticket. I am here to pick you up, that's it.
559	00:31:12,757	00:31:14,692	I will be in the car.	I will be in the car.
560	00:31:14,826	00:31:17,261	You want me to read it?	You want me to read it?
561	00:31:28,305	00:31:30,140	Yeah. Yeah, right.	Yeah. Yeah, right.
562	00:31:43,888	00:31:46,456	You would read my play?	You would read my play?
563	00:31:49,159	00:31:52,329	It's why you brought it, isn't it?	It's why you brought it, isn't it?
564	00:31:56,968	00:31:58,235	You're serious.	You're serious.
565	00:31:59,603	00:32:01,104	Going once.	Going once.
566	00:32:01,238	00:32:03,041	Yes, yes! Yes, of course!	Yes, yes! Yes, of course!
567	00:32:03,173	00:32:04,809	While I wait for my train.	While I wait for my train.
568	00:32:04,943	00:32:06,376	Mr. Harris, please.	Mr. Harris, please.
569	00:32:06,510	00:32:09,513	Have you ever seen a Pulitzer Prize?	Have you ever seen a Pulitzer Prize?
570	00:32:10,213	00:32:13,150	As trophies go, it's very tasteful.	As trophies go, it's very tasteful.
571	00:32:13,283	00:32:16,654	Elegant, even distinguished.	Elegant, even distinguished.
572	00:32:17,421	00:32:19,891	Mr. Harris, if you get on that train, I'll be fired.	Mr. Harris, if you get on that train, I'll be fired.
573	00:32:20,024	00:32:22,326	I'm proud to say that I have	I'm proud to say that I have
574	00:32:22,459	00:32:25,362	been banned for life	been banned for life
575	00:32:25,495	00:32:27,197	from the Cornelia Street Playhouse.	from the Cornelia Street Playhouse.
576	00:32:27,331	00:32:28,265	In Philadelphia.	In Philadelphia.
577	00:32:28,398	00:32:29,566	You've been to Philadelphia?	You've been to Philadelphia?
578	00:32:29,701	00:32:30,835	No, but...	No, but...
579	00:32:30,969	00:32:32,904	As soon as you arrive, you realize you're the	As soon as you arrive, you realize you're the
580	00:32:33,037	00:32:34,371	smartest person in town.	smartest person in town.
581	00:32:34,504	00:32:35,773	We were doing The Man Who Died A...	We were doing The Man Who Died A...
582	00:32:35,907	00:32:36,841	The Man Who Died Again.	The Man Who Died Again.
583	00:32:36,975	00:32:38,042	Oh, you know this story?	Oh, you know this story?
584	00:32:38,175	00:32:39,343	- No, only that... - Well then, shut up.	- No, only that... - Well then, shut up.
585	00:32:40,210	00:32:42,112	I'm waxing poetic about myself.	I'm waxing poetic about myself.
586	00:32:42,245	00:32:44,514	Much like with the visiting muse,	Much like with the visiting muse,
587	00:32:44,648	00:32:45,883	it doesn't happen that often,	it doesn't happen that often,
588	00:32:46,818	00:32:49,721	so you're aware of writing via the muse.	so you're aware of writing via the muse.
589	00:32:49,854	00:32:50,788	Yes, of course.	Yes, of course.
590	00:32:51,254	00:32:52,289	Do you have one?	Do you have one?
591	00:32:52,422	00:32:53,858	Doesn't everybody?	Doesn't everybody?
592	00:32:53,992	00:32:54,726	Where is it?	Where is it?
593	00:32:54,859	00:32:56,226	Where's what?	Where's what?
594	00:32:56,360	00:32:58,462	Your muse, I'd like to meet him.	Your muse, I'd like to meet him.
595	00:32:58,595	00:33:00,130	Or her.	Or her.
596	00:33:00,263	00:33:02,132	Maybe it's her... it. Maybe it's an "it".	Maybe it's her... it. Maybe it's an "it".
597	00:33:02,265	00:33:03,400	I don't...	I don't...
598	00:33:05,268	00:33:05,837	Not having one myself,	Not having one myself,
599	00:33:06,671	00:33:09,473	I'm curious as to what one looks like.	I'm curious as to what one looks like.
600	00:33:09,606	00:33:12,810	A little bird sits on your shoulder, chirping its way	A little bird sits on your shoulder, chirping its way
601	00:33:12,944	00:33:16,513	through your story like some know-it-all tour guide.	through your story like some know-it-all tour guide.
602	00:33:17,081	00:33:18,382	What about the inner voice?	What about the inner voice?
603	00:33:18,515	00:33:19,751	You're hearing voices?	You're hearing voices?
604	00:33:19,884	00:33:22,654	Simon said every artist has an inner voice.	Simon said every artist has an inner voice.
605	00:33:24,554	00:33:26,691	If Simon is hearing voices,	If Simon is hearing voices,
606	00:33:26,824	00:33:28,693	he should be locked in a padded room.	he should be locked in a padded room.
607	00:33:28,826	00:33:31,294	I wrote every one of my plays without the assistance of	I wrote every one of my plays without the assistance of
608	00:33:31,428	00:33:32,562	anyone, thank you very much.	anyone, thank you very much.
609	00:33:32,697	00:33:34,331	Including artistic directors who	Including artistic directors who
610	00:33:34,464	00:33:36,366	were too important to meet my train.	were too important to meet my train.
611	00:33:36,500	00:33:37,434	What are you doing?	What are you doing?
612	00:33:37,567	00:33:38,670	I'm calling Simon.	I'm calling Simon.
613	00:33:46,044	00:33:48,178	Oh, no, no, no, no!	Oh, no, no, no, no!
614	00:33:48,311	00:33:49,212	Oh my God!	Oh my God!
615	00:33:49,346	00:33:51,082	Oh my God, stop!	Oh my God, stop!
616	00:33:51,214	00:33:53,651	Stop! Oh!	Stop! Oh!
617	00:33:54,719	00:33:56,353	Now give me your credit card.	Now give me your credit card.
618	00:33:56,486	00:33:57,789	You broke my phone!	You broke my phone!
619	00:33:57,922	00:33:58,856	Your credit card!	Your credit card!
620	00:33:58,990	00:33:59,957	I don't have a credit card!	I don't have a credit card!
621	00:34:00,091	00:34:01,025	Of course, you do!	Of course, you do!
622	00:34:02,325	00:34:03,995	Every young person in today's theatre has a credit card, a toy	Every young person in today's theatre has a credit card, a toy
623	00:34:04,128	00:34:05,529	phone, and a Lamborghini!	phone, and a Lamborghini!
624	00:34:05,663	00:34:07,497	Bought and paid for by well-funded parents who can't	Bought and paid for by well-funded parents who can't
625	00:34:07,631	00:34:09,366	stand the idea of their son	stand the idea of their son
626	00:34:09,499	00:34:11,736	going into such a vagrant profession!	going into such a vagrant profession!
627	00:34:11,869	00:34:12,602	Let me guess?	Let me guess?
628	00:34:12,737	00:34:14,172	Daddy and mommy wanted their son	Daddy and mommy wanted their son
629	00:34:14,304	00:34:16,140	who's not a playwright to be a doctor?	who's not a playwright to be a doctor?
630	00:34:16,273	00:34:17,240	No.	No.
631	00:34:17,374	00:34:18,608	A lawyer? How about a lawyer?	A lawyer? How about a lawyer?
632	00:34:19,576	00:34:20,610	How about President of the United States?	How about President of the United States?
633	00:34:21,478	00:34:22,479	They've lowered the entry requirements,	They've lowered the entry requirements,
634	00:34:22,612	00:34:23,748	I don't know if you've heard!	I don't know if you've heard!
635	00:34:24,648	00:34:27,151	Wing nuts! My family's into wing nuts!	Wing nuts! My family's into wing nuts!
636	00:34:27,284	00:34:28,986	It's the small nut	It's the small nut
637	00:34:29,120	00:34:31,155	with the little metal wings on it, so you can screw...	with the little metal wings on it, so you can screw...
638	00:34:31,288	00:34:32,190	I know what a...	I know what a...
639	00:34:33,356	00:34:35,727	We're the largest wing nut manufacturer in the Midwest.	We're the largest wing nut manufacturer in the Midwest.
640	00:34:41,032	00:34:42,900	Where would the world be without the wing nut?	Where would the world be without the wing nut?
641	00:34:43,034	00:34:46,636	Yeah, that's what my father says every Thanksgiving.	Yeah, that's what my father says every Thanksgiving.
642	00:34:46,771	00:34:50,708	And I nod, answering a question he never asks, assuring him that	And I nod, answering a question he never asks, assuring him that
643	00:34:50,842	00:34:53,543	yes, some day I will come crawling back, begging him to	yes, some day I will come crawling back, begging him to
644	00:34:53,678	00:34:57,882	please let me spend the rest of my life in wing nuts.	please let me spend the rest of my life in wing nuts.
645	00:35:04,321	00:35:07,491	All because you looked down from your end of the table and said,	All because you looked down from your end of the table and said,
646	00:35:07,624	00:35:09,026	"I want to be in the Arts."	"I want to be in the Arts."
647	00:35:10,928	00:35:13,563	I might as well have said I was running off to join the circus.	I might as well have said I was running off to join the circus.
648	00:35:14,165	00:35:15,432	You are.	You are.
649	00:35:16,466	00:35:17,735	He said "The-a-tre is no place for a real man.	He said "The-a-tre is no place for a real man.
650	00:35:17,869	00:35:21,471	It's nothing but lowlifes, misfits, and..."	It's nothing but lowlifes, misfits, and..."
651	00:35:51,169	00:35:56,573	Does this Simon person, with no play to direct, have any talent?	Does this Simon person, with no play to direct, have any talent?
652	00:35:57,307	00:36:00,343	Very much so. Yes.	Very much so. Yes.
653	00:36:00,878	00:36:04,414	Last season he won the Lima Award for his	Last season he won the Lima Award for his
654	00:36:04,548	00:36:05,817	production of Our Town.	production of Our Town.
655	00:36:06,550	00:36:08,786	He won a what?	He won a what?
656	00:36:08,920	00:36:10,121	A Lima.	A Lima.
657	00:36:10,655	00:36:12,522	It's our local in-house theatre award.	It's our local in-house theatre award.
658	00:36:12,657	00:36:14,225	We have the ceremony at the end of the year.	We have the ceremony at the end of the year.
659	00:36:14,357	00:36:15,927	Everybody comes. It's nice.	Everybody comes. It's nice.
660	00:36:16,060	00:36:18,296	It's not a Tony or a Pulitzer, but then we're not New York.	It's not a Tony or a Pulitzer, but then we're not New York.
661	00:36:18,461	00:36:19,964	You're not even Philadelphia.	You're not even Philadelphia.
662	00:36:20,097	00:36:21,464	Has he read the play?	Has he read the play?
663	00:36:21,598	00:36:22,867	Oh God, no.	Oh God, no.
664	00:36:23,000	00:36:23,901	And why not?	And why not?
665	00:36:24,068	00:36:25,169	Well, he was going to.	Well, he was going to.
666	00:36:26,403	00:36:27,839	He really was, and then for whatever reason, he didn't get	He really was, and then for whatever reason, he didn't get
667	00:36:29,106	00:36:29,974	to it, which is completely understandable. He's very busy.	to it, which is completely understandable. He's very busy.
668	00:36:30,107	00:36:31,408	Winning Limas.	Winning Limas.
669	00:36:31,976	00:36:33,044	My Mother read it.	My Mother read it.
670	00:36:33,177	00:36:34,477	Did she love it?	Did she love it?
671	00:36:34,611	00:36:37,815	Not really. When I asked her	Not really. When I asked her
672	00:36:37,949	00:36:39,116	what she liked about it, she said,	what she liked about it, she said,
673	00:36:39,250	00:36:40,685	"The pages were in order."	"The pages were in order."
674	00:36:40,818	00:36:42,220	Hmm.	Hmm.
675	00:36:42,352	00:36:43,587	I thought that was a little harsh.	I thought that was a little harsh.
676	00:36:44,255	00:36:45,756	Do you have a title?	Do you have a title?
677	00:36:45,890	00:36:47,058	A title.	A title.
678	00:36:47,191	00:36:49,626	For this brilliant play I'm about to read.	For this brilliant play I'm about to read.
679	00:36:49,760	00:36:51,461	Oh, I'd rather not say.	Oh, I'd rather not say.
680	00:36:51,996	00:36:54,932	Oh, I'd Rather Not Say by Kenneth Waters.	Oh, I'd Rather Not Say by Kenneth Waters.
681	00:36:55,066	00:36:55,967	Very funny.	Very funny.
682	00:36:57,001	00:36:58,602	Let's imagine that up on a marquee, shall we?	Let's imagine that up on a marquee, shall we?
683	00:36:58,736	00:37:01,105	That's the first thing I do whenever I finish a play.	That's the first thing I do whenever I finish a play.
684	00:37:01,239	00:37:05,343	I take a cab up to the Belasco, still best theatre in New York,	I take a cab up to the Belasco, still best theatre in New York,
685	00:37:05,475	00:37:10,047	bar none, and I stand on the opposite side of the street and	bar none, and I stand on the opposite side of the street and
686	00:37:10,181	00:37:13,050	I try to picture my title up in lights.	I try to picture my title up in lights.
687	00:37:13,184	00:37:14,618	And if I can envision it...	And if I can envision it...
688	00:37:14,752	00:37:16,220	The Great American Play.	The Great American Play.
689	00:37:16,354	00:37:17,288	It hasn't been written yet.	It hasn't been written yet.
690	00:37:17,420	00:37:18,723	Never will be, for that matter.	Never will be, for that matter.
691	00:37:18,856	00:37:21,158	In art, there can never be a greatest anything.	In art, there can never be a greatest anything.
692	00:37:21,292	00:37:26,097	Play, novel, painting, symphony, burger, try	Play, novel, painting, symphony, burger, try
693	00:37:26,230	00:37:29,333	as we might, it will never be because as soon as one of us	as we might, it will never be because as soon as one of us
694	00:37:29,466	00:37:31,068	gets close, it will be missed.	gets close, it will be missed.
695	00:37:31,202	00:37:33,204	Or, more than likely, dismissed.	Or, more than likely, dismissed.
696	00:37:34,038	00:37:37,675	We are no longer qualified to recognize greatness.	We are no longer qualified to recognize greatness.
697	00:37:38,376	00:37:42,713	We have no idea what it looks like.	We have no idea what it looks like.
698	00:37:45,016	00:37:50,420	To recognize true greatness, one must be willing to be troubled.	To recognize true greatness, one must be willing to be troubled.
699	00:37:52,056	00:37:54,125	Disturbed.	Disturbed.
700	00:37:56,093	00:37:58,696	Changed.	Changed.
701	00:37:59,297	00:38:03,034	And no one wants to be any of those things.	And no one wants to be any of those things.
702	00:38:05,435	00:38:07,570	That's the title.	That's the title.
703	00:38:10,540	00:38:13,610	Of what?	Of what?
704	00:38:15,313	00:38:16,681	My play.	My play.
705	00:38:17,248	00:38:21,819	The title of your play is The Great American Play?	The title of your play is The Great American Play?
706	00:38:23,020	00:38:24,855	Yes.	Yes.
707	00:38:25,588	00:38:28,759	Out of all the possible titles.	Out of all the possible titles.
708	00:38:28,893	00:38:29,961	I know.	I know.
709	00:38:33,898	00:38:34,832	Is it?	Is it?
710	00:38:35,433	00:38:37,068	It's just the title.	It's just the title.
711	00:38:37,600	00:38:40,271	So it's not the Great American Play.	So it's not the Great American Play.
712	00:38:40,404	00:38:41,339	Far from it.	Far from it.
713	00:38:42,406	00:38:44,008	And yet, your title would lead me to believe...	And yet, your title would lead me to believe...
714	00:38:44,141	00:38:45,343	Tentative title.	Tentative title.
715	00:38:45,475	00:38:47,411	Well, don't change it now. It might be perfect.	Well, don't change it now. It might be perfect.
716	00:38:47,544	00:38:48,645	It's just a play.	It's just a play.
717	00:38:57,755	00:38:59,957	There is no such thing	There is no such thing
718	00:39:02,660	00:39:04,061	as "just a play".	as "just a play".
719	00:39:14,604	00:39:17,808	This is your art. Say it.	This is your art. Say it.
720	00:39:18,508	00:39:19,509	Say what?	Say what?
721	00:39:19,642	00:39:20,878	This is my art.	This is my art.
722	00:39:21,412	00:39:22,813	This is my art.	This is my art.
723	00:39:22,947	00:39:23,948	Louder.	Louder.
724	00:39:24,081	00:39:25,950	This is my art.	This is my art.
725	00:39:26,083	00:39:27,251	This is my art!	This is my art!
726	00:39:27,385	00:39:28,585	This is my art!	This is my art!
727	00:39:28,719	00:39:30,721	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
728	00:39:30,855	00:39:32,555	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
729	00:39:32,690	00:39:34,058	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
730	00:39:34,191	00:39:35,893	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
731	00:39:36,027	00:39:37,728	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
732	00:39:37,862	00:39:39,430	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
733	00:39:39,562	00:39:40,831	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
734	00:39:40,965	00:39:42,066	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
735	00:39:42,199	00:39:43,533	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
736	00:39:43,667	00:39:44,935	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
737	00:39:45,069	00:39:46,536	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
738	00:39:46,670	00:39:48,039	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
739	00:39:49,206	00:39:50,408	I am an artist, Mr. Harris! Mr. Harris, Mr. Harris!	I am an artist, Mr. Harris! Mr. Harris, Mr. Harris!
740	00:39:51,375	00:39:52,910	Keep off my pew! This is my pew!	Keep off my pew! This is my pew!
741	00:39:53,044	00:39:54,644	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
742	00:39:56,013	00:39:58,983	I am an artist and this is art.	I am an artist and this is art.
743	00:39:59,116	00:40:01,819	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
744	00:40:01,952	00:40:04,155	I am an artist and this is my...	I am an artist and this is my...
745	00:40:04,288	00:40:06,424	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
746	00:40:08,359	00:40:09,527	I am an artist...	I am an artist...
747	00:40:09,660	00:40:10,795	Get outta here!	Get outta here!
748	00:40:11,829	00:40:14,331	I am an art... I am an artist. I am an artist.	I am an art... I am an artist. I am an artist.
749	00:40:15,533	00:40:16,834	I am an artist.	I am an artist.
750	00:40:16,967	00:40:18,836	Mr. Harris?	Mr. Harris?
751	00:40:19,136	00:40:20,805	I am an artist.	I am an artist.
752	00:40:22,006	00:40:25,209	Mr. Harris, there's a train! Mr. Harris!	Mr. Harris, there's a train! Mr. Harris!
753	00:40:26,277	00:40:28,079	Mr. Harris!	Mr. Harris!
754	00:40:41,959	00:40:44,095	Mr. Harris, where are you... where are you going?	Mr. Harris, where are you... where are you going?
755	00:40:44,228	00:40:45,796	Mr.... Mr. Harris!	Mr.... Mr. Harris!
756	00:40:48,265	00:40:49,500	I didn't call the cops.	I didn't call the cops.
757	00:40:49,632	00:40:50,568	I appreciate it.	I appreciate it.
758	00:40:51,435	00:40:52,303	Just keep him the hell off my pews.	Just keep him the hell off my pews.
759	00:40:52,436	00:40:53,270	I will, I will.	I will, I will.
760	00:40:54,305	00:40:54,972	Them come straight outta the Methodist Church.	Them come straight outta the Methodist Church.
761	00:40:55,638	00:40:56,774	Jesus Himself sat in 'em.	Jesus Himself sat in 'em.
762	00:40:58,175	00:41:00,111	Yeah, okay.	Yeah, okay.
763	00:41:00,244	00:41:01,812	Mr. Harris!	Mr. Harris!
764	00:41:02,980	00:41:06,383	Mr. Harris! Mr. Harris, are you okay?	Mr. Harris! Mr. Harris, are you okay?
765	00:41:06,517	00:41:07,918	Mr. Harris!	Mr. Harris!
766	00:41:08,052	00:41:09,487	Do you remember 9/11?	Do you remember 9/11?
767	00:41:09,619	00:41:11,255	Huh?	Huh?
768	00:41:11,388	00:41:12,790	Do you remember 9/11?	Do you remember 9/11?
769	00:41:12,923	00:41:14,391	Yes, of course.	Yes, of course.
770	00:41:14,525	00:41:15,693	What did you think?	What did you think?
771	00:41:16,427	00:41:17,461	What did I think?	What did I think?
772	00:41:18,395	00:41:19,563	What did you... tell me what you thought.	What did you... tell me what you thought.
773	00:41:20,764	00:41:22,366	I thought it was a tragedy. It changed the whole world.	I thought it was a tragedy. It changed the whole world.
774	00:41:22,600	00:41:24,835	I thought it was Shakespearean.	I thought it was Shakespearean.
775	00:41:25,970	00:41:27,037	Did you think it was Shakespearean?	Did you think it was Shakespearean?
776	00:41:27,171	00:41:28,139	I thought it w...	I thought it w...
777	00:41:28,272	00:41:29,173	Yeah, definitely.	Yeah, definitely.
778	00:41:30,407	00:41:32,243	I'd like to think if the Bard had written it, he might've	I'd like to think if the Bard had written it, he might've
779	00:41:32,376	00:41:34,211	toned down on some of the gruesomeness.	toned down on some of the gruesomeness.
780	00:41:35,212	00:41:37,882	Even he couldn't have written that day.	Even he couldn't have written that day.
781	00:41:39,383	00:41:42,353	Look, Mr. Harris, just talk this out, okay?	Look, Mr. Harris, just talk this out, okay?
782	00:41:42,486	00:41:43,354	We'll get in my car.	We'll get in my car.
783	00:41:43,487	00:41:44,488	Please.	Please.
784	00:41:44,622	00:41:45,689	I have a MasterCard.	I have a MasterCard.
785	00:41:45,823	00:41:47,791	I have a MasterCard!	I have a MasterCard!
786	00:41:47,925	00:41:48,926	You're right!	You're right!
787	00:41:49,059	00:41:50,694	And I will use that MasterCard	And I will use that MasterCard
788	00:41:50,828	00:41:54,198	to pay for your ticket after you read my play.	to pay for your ticket after you read my play.
789	00:41:55,699	00:41:58,536	Before.	Before.
790	00:41:58,669	00:42:02,373	After. I'm going to lose everything, Mr. Harris. My	After. I'm going to lose everything, Mr. Harris. My
791	00:42:02,506	00:42:04,341	apprenticeship, my affiliation with the theatre,	apprenticeship, my affiliation with the theatre,
792	00:42:04,475	00:42:07,211	and there's a very good chance I may wind up back in wing nuts!	and there's a very good chance I may wind up back in wing nuts!
793	00:42:07,344	00:42:09,780	So when you say you're gonna read my play, I need to know	So when you say you're gonna read my play, I need to know
794	00:42:09,914	00:42:11,815	you're really going to read my play.	you're really going to read my play.
795	00:42:13,083	00:42:14,151	Even if it kills me.	Even if it kills me.
796	00:42:14,285	00:42:15,654	Look, on one condition.	Look, on one condition.
797	00:42:15,786	00:42:17,955	You, you have to tell me the truth.	You, you have to tell me the truth.
798	00:42:18,088	00:42:19,256	Huh.	Huh.
799	00:42:19,990	00:42:21,592	I also have a condition.	I also have a condition.
800	00:42:21,725	00:42:23,928	Yeah, anything. You name it.	Yeah, anything. You name it.
801	00:42:24,628	00:42:26,397	Alcohol.	Alcohol.
802	00:42:28,365	00:42:29,466	Okay, alcohol. Okay.	Okay, alcohol. Okay.
803	00:42:37,575	00:42:38,776	No, no!	No, no!
804	00:42:53,591	00:42:54,659	Hey, liquor run!	Hey, liquor run!
805	00:42:54,792	00:42:55,826	Liquor run!	Liquor run!
806	00:42:55,960	00:42:57,528	It's 2:45, we're closed!	It's 2:45, we're closed!
807	00:42:57,662	00:42:58,629	Come on, man!	Come on, man!
808	00:42:58,762	00:43:00,531	I have never been more closed.	I have never been more closed.
809	00:43:00,665	00:43:01,599	Come on!	Come on!
810	00:43:02,833	00:43:04,235	I'm more closed than my options after I failed high school.	I'm more closed than my options after I failed high school.
811	00:43:04,368	00:43:05,704	I'm desperate.	I'm desperate.
812	00:43:05,836	00:43:07,972	I'm more closed than the casket was on my father's funeral.	I'm more closed than the casket was on my father's funeral.
813	00:43:08,105	00:43:09,440	I'm more closed than the	I'm more closed than the
814	00:43:09,573	00:43:11,442	chance to reconcile with my girlfriend.	chance to reconcile with my girlfriend.
815	00:43:11,575	00:43:14,845	I'm so closed, I can feel my biological processes	I'm so closed, I can feel my biological processes
816	00:43:14,979	00:43:15,879	shutting down!	shutting down!
817	00:43:16,013	00:43:17,014	I got it!	I got it!
818	00:43:32,396	00:43:34,733	Gas station, there is. Bar's closed, bar's closed now.	Gas station, there is. Bar's closed, bar's closed now.
819	00:43:34,865	00:43:36,066	Oh, Hope! Hope!	Oh, Hope! Hope!
820	00:43:47,645	00:43:50,749	Hope!	Hope!
821	00:43:50,881	00:43:54,018	Hope! Hope!	Hope! Hope!
822	00:43:56,220	00:44:00,457	Hope! Hope! Hope, Hope! Hope, Hope, hi!	Hope! Hope! Hope, Hope! Hope, Hope, hi!
823	00:44:00,591	00:44:02,359	Step away from the door. 1...	Step away from the door. 1...
824	00:44:02,493	00:44:03,460	No, no, no, no, wait!	No, no, no, no, wait!
825	00:44:03,594	00:44:04,528	2...	2...
826	00:44:04,663	00:44:05,562	No, it's me! Kenneth Waters!	No, it's me! Kenneth Waters!
827	00:44:06,797	00:44:08,399	We dated in high school and after the Sadie Hawkins Dance,	We dated in high school and after the Sadie Hawkins Dance,
828	00:44:08,532	00:44:09,266	I told you I loved you and how I wanted to marry you	I told you I loved you and how I wanted to marry you
829	00:44:12,903	00:44:14,471	Wing nut?	Wing nut?
830	00:44:39,698	00:44:42,599	What have you been doing with yourself other than drinking?	What have you been doing with yourself other than drinking?
831	00:44:42,734	00:44:43,702	I'm in the theatre.	I'm in the theatre.
832	00:44:43,834	00:44:44,902	Cineplex?	Cineplex?
833	00:44:45,035	00:44:46,437	No. The legit theatre,	No. The legit theatre,
834	00:44:46,570	00:44:48,072	I'm an apprentice at the Lima Playhouse.	I'm an apprentice at the Lima Playhouse.
835	00:44:48,205	00:44:50,474	What happened to making wing nuts?	What happened to making wing nuts?
836	00:44:50,607	00:44:51,909	Yeah, it wasn't for me.	Yeah, it wasn't for me.
837	00:44:52,476	00:44:54,144	Are you an actor?	Are you an actor?
838	00:44:54,278	00:44:56,480	Uh, no, I'm... I write.	Uh, no, I'm... I write.
839	00:44:56,613	00:44:58,282	Write what?	Write what?
840	00:44:58,415	00:44:59,383	Plays.	Plays.
841	00:45:00,317	00:45:01,552	You mean like pretend?	You mean like pretend?
842	00:45:01,686	00:45:04,121	Yeah, no. No, they're real. The plays	Yeah, no. No, they're real. The plays
843	00:45:04,254	00:45:06,791	are real. Only they're not. It's hard to explain.	are real. Only they're not. It's hard to explain.
844	00:45:07,358	00:45:09,761	You should've gone into wing nuts.	You should've gone into wing nuts.
845	00:45:09,893	00:45:11,562	Vicki told me I should reconsider.	Vicki told me I should reconsider.
846	00:45:11,696	00:45:14,365	I said reconsider what, we're sophomores in high	I said reconsider what, we're sophomores in high
847	00:45:14,498	00:45:16,300	school, there's plenty of fish in the sea, you know?	school, there's plenty of fish in the sea, you know?
848	00:45:16,433	00:45:18,569	The Junior Class alone was loaded.	The Junior Class alone was loaded.
849	00:45:18,703	00:45:20,839	Yeah, well, we were kids, what did we know.	Yeah, well, we were kids, what did we know.
850	00:45:20,971	00:45:23,874	I'm not seeing any gin.	I'm not seeing any gin.
851	00:45:24,007	00:45:25,943	All I got is beer and wine.	All I got is beer and wine.
852	00:45:26,076	00:45:28,479	Yeah, okay.	Yeah, okay.
853	00:45:30,514	00:45:33,450	You would not believe the night I'm having.	You would not believe the night I'm having.
854	00:45:34,084	00:45:35,619	Do you know who Joseph Harris is?	Do you know who Joseph Harris is?
855	00:45:35,754	00:45:37,054	Was he in our class?	Was he in our class?
856	00:45:38,222	00:45:40,859	No, he's a playwright and he's here right now in Lima,	No, he's a playwright and he's here right now in Lima,
857	00:45:40,991	00:45:42,359	at the train station,	at the train station,
858	00:45:42,493	00:45:43,894	reading my play.	reading my play.
859	00:45:44,863	00:45:47,364	Are you dating anybody?	Are you dating anybody?
860	00:45:48,198	00:45:50,601	I got Mondays off.	I got Mondays off.
861	00:45:50,735	00:45:51,703	You could take me to the	You could take me to the
862	00:45:52,737	00:45:53,470	playhouse and I can watch you write somethin'.	playhouse and I can watch you write somethin'.
863	00:45:54,171	00:45:54,806	Well, it's not that exciting.	Well, it's not that exciting.
864	00:45:56,073	00:45:58,208	Is it more exciting than selling beer at 3:15 in the morning?	Is it more exciting than selling beer at 3:15 in the morning?
865	00:46:06,818	00:46:09,153	Trapped inside a little box.	Trapped inside a little box.
866	00:46:09,821	00:46:12,623	Of your own making, I might add.	Of your own making, I might add.
867	00:46:14,391	00:46:16,326	I know.	I know.
868	00:46:17,094	00:46:18,830	You know?	You know?
869	00:46:18,962	00:46:22,399	You don't think I do, but I do.	You don't think I do, but I do.
870	00:46:23,133	00:46:25,235	And what is it you know?	And what is it you know?
871	00:46:25,369	00:46:29,006	I know who said, the "first sign of	I know who said, the "first sign of
872	00:46:29,139	00:46:32,409	understanding is the wish to die".	understanding is the wish to die".
873	00:46:33,912	00:46:36,246	Dostoevsky.	Dostoevsky.
874	00:46:36,848	00:46:39,082	Kafka.	Kafka.
875	00:46:48,158	00:46:49,928	Franz.	Franz.
876	00:46:50,060	00:46:50,929	Lawrence.	Lawrence.
877	00:46:51,061	00:46:51,930	How's it goin'?	How's it goin'?
878	00:46:52,062	00:46:53,163	Okay.	Okay.
879	00:46:53,297	00:46:55,532	Like Grand Central in here tonight.	Like Grand Central in here tonight.
880	00:46:55,667	00:46:57,301	He's from New York.	He's from New York.
881	00:46:57,434	00:46:58,635	What's he doin' here?	What's he doin' here?
882	00:46:58,770	00:46:59,904	Theatre.	Theatre.
883	00:47:00,037	00:47:01,104	Cineplex?	Cineplex?
884	00:47:01,238	00:47:02,740	Playhouse.	Playhouse.
885	00:47:03,373	00:47:06,109	The wife dragged me to one of those once. After five	The wife dragged me to one of those once. After five
886	00:47:06,243	00:47:07,578	minutes they'd stop doing what	minutes they'd stop doing what
887	00:47:07,712	00:47:09,346	they were doin' and start singin'.	they were doin' and start singin'.
888	00:47:09,480	00:47:11,248	I said that's not normal behavior.	I said that's not normal behavior.
889	00:47:11,381	00:47:12,649	She said is it supposed to be?	She said is it supposed to be?
890	00:47:12,784	00:47:15,152	I said then what the hell am I watchin'?	I said then what the hell am I watchin'?
891	00:47:16,253	00:47:19,990	It's not just a play, it's art.	It's not just a play, it's art.
892	00:47:20,123	00:47:21,992	And when it works when the	And when it works when the
893	00:47:22,125	00:47:25,128	writing, and the acting, and the directing...	writing, and the acting, and the directing...
894	00:47:27,164	00:47:30,567	And the writing, and the acting, and the directing, and the set	And the writing, and the acting, and the directing, and the set
895	00:47:30,702	00:47:33,237	design, and the props, and the writing, when it all comes	design, and the props, and the writing, when it all comes
896	00:47:33,370	00:47:35,305	together, it's better than movies.	together, it's better than movies.
897	00:47:35,439	00:47:36,640	It's better than TV.	It's better than TV.
898	00:47:36,774	00:47:38,408	Can I get it on my phone?	Can I get it on my phone?
899	00:47:38,542	00:47:40,377	No.	No.
900	00:47:49,486	00:47:51,723	Okay, okay. Oh!	Okay, okay. Oh!
901	00:47:53,290	00:47:55,259	Here we go.	Here we go.
902	00:48:03,001	00:48:04,802	So?	So?
903	00:48:04,936	00:48:07,604	Yes. Do you have a...?	Yes. Do you have a...?
904	00:48:07,739	00:48:09,306	Yeah, yes.	Yeah, yes.
905	00:48:13,811	00:48:15,546	Take your time.	Take your time.
906	00:48:16,881	00:48:17,849	Hi!	Hi!
907	00:48:17,982	00:48:18,917	Hey.	Hey.
908	00:48:19,049	00:48:20,818	Merry Christmas.	Merry Christmas.
909	00:48:20,952	00:48:23,220	Merry Christmas.	Merry Christmas.
910	00:48:23,353	00:48:24,923	He didn't say anything, did he?	He didn't say anything, did he?
911	00:48:25,055	00:48:26,691	Not about your play.	Not about your play.
912	00:48:27,959	00:48:29,226	He's reading my play.	He's reading my play.
913	00:48:29,359	00:48:31,328	It got singin' in it?	It got singin' in it?
914	00:48:31,461	00:48:34,531	No. Does he look bored to you?	No. Does he look bored to you?
915	00:48:35,165	00:48:37,267	Don't worry about me, I can take it. I'm used to criticism.	Don't worry about me, I can take it. I'm used to criticism.
916	00:48:37,401	00:48:39,303	We criticize each other in the theatre all the time.	We criticize each other in the theatre all the time.
917	00:48:39,436	00:48:40,537	That's how we grow.	That's how we grow.
918	00:48:42,272	00:48:42,941	See ya tomorrow.	See ya tomorrow.
919	00:48:43,106	00:48:45,342	See ya tomorrow.	See ya tomorrow.
920	00:49:40,197	00:49:41,766	Would you like some coffee?	Would you like some coffee?
921	00:49:41,899	00:49:43,300	Something to eat?	Something to eat?
922	00:49:43,433	00:49:44,601	I can run out and get you something real quick,	I can run out and get you something real quick,
923	00:49:44,736	00:49:45,837	if you'd like?	if you'd like?
924	00:49:45,970	00:49:47,105	I know what you can do, pay for my ticket.	I know what you can do, pay for my ticket.
925	00:49:47,237	00:49:48,271	After we discuss my play.	After we discuss my play.
926	00:49:48,405	00:49:49,539	Play? What play?	Play? What play?
927	00:49:49,674	00:49:51,375	I read so many, it's hard to keep track.	I read so many, it's hard to keep track.
928	00:49:52,043	00:49:54,511	Well, just so you know, I've never done this before.	Well, just so you know, I've never done this before.
929	00:49:54,645	00:49:56,814	That's not to say you can't be brutally honest with me.	That's not to say you can't be brutally honest with me.
930	00:49:56,948	00:49:58,548	Don't worry about me, I'm my own worst critic,	Don't worry about me, I'm my own worst critic,
931	00:49:58,683	00:49:59,984	so anything you could say I've	so anything you could say I've
932	00:50:00,118	00:50:00,852	probably already said it to myself.	probably already said it to myself.
933	00:50:01,986	00:50:03,387	So that being said, say anything that comes to mind.	So that being said, say anything that comes to mind.
934	00:50:03,520	00:50:05,823	Also, this is my first play.	Also, this is my first play.
935	00:50:05,957	00:50:06,958	You probably could tell though,	You probably could tell though,
936	00:50:07,091	00:50:08,592	but still, in case you couldn't.	but still, in case you couldn't.
937	00:50:09,526	00:50:11,294	You couldn't, could you?	You couldn't, could you?
938	00:50:11,428	00:50:12,764	Or could you?	Or could you?
939	00:50:12,897	00:50:14,032	No, don't answer that.	No, don't answer that.
940	00:50:14,164	00:50:15,565	Also, I know I have a lot to learn.	Also, I know I have a lot to learn.
941	00:50:15,700	00:50:16,901	And even though I've never had my	And even though I've never had my
942	00:50:17,035	00:50:18,836	work analyzed by anyone,	work analyzed by anyone,
943	00:50:19,003	00:50:20,038	certainly by anyone of your stature, though	certainly by anyone of your stature, though
944	00:50:21,005	00:50:22,707	I did do a small reading with some friends	I did do a small reading with some friends
945	00:50:22,840	00:50:23,440	of mine and after we were finished, they really didn't	of mine and after we were finished, they really didn't
946	00:50:24,742	00:50:25,275	have anything constructive to say except for this one actress	have anything constructive to say except for this one actress
947	00:50:26,010	00:50:26,443	who thought her character should	who thought her character should
948	00:50:27,277	00:50:27,679	have more lines, but other than that.	have more lines, but other than that.
949	00:50:27,979	00:50:28,746	So...	So...
950	00:50:29,681	00:50:30,647	Oh, also if you could start by telling me	Oh, also if you could start by telling me
951	00:50:30,782	00:50:31,949	something you liked about it.	something you liked about it.
952	00:50:32,950	00:50:34,284	It can be a line, a character, a plot twist.	It can be a line, a character, a plot twist.
953	00:50:34,418	00:50:35,720	Anything. Anything at all.	Anything. Anything at all.
954	00:50:35,853	00:50:37,354	And then feel free to tear it to shreds.	And then feel free to tear it to shreds.
955	00:50:37,487	00:50:40,290	Or not. Or whatever. I'm talking too much.	Or not. Or whatever. I'm talking too much.
956	00:50:40,424	00:50:41,491	I'd much rather hear what you have to say.	I'd much rather hear what you have to say.
957	00:50:41,625	00:50:43,493	Whenever you're ready.	Whenever you're ready.
958	00:50:44,561	00:50:47,098	Have you ever eaten in a restaurant?	Have you ever eaten in a restaurant?
959	00:50:47,230	00:50:48,632	What?	What?
960	00:50:49,466	00:50:50,702	Have you ever eaten in...	Have you ever eaten in...
961	00:50:50,835	00:50:52,103	Yes, of course I've eaten in a restaurant.	Yes, of course I've eaten in a restaurant.
962	00:50:52,235	00:50:53,137	Oh good.	Oh good.
963	00:50:54,371	00:50:55,405	Well... oh... well, eating in this restaurant, have you ever	Well... oh... well, eating in this restaurant, have you ever
964	00:50:56,140	00:50:56,874	experienced someone spending the	experienced someone spending the
965	00:50:57,909	00:50:59,877	entire meal sampling the food off your plate?	entire meal sampling the food off your plate?
966	00:51:00,011	00:51:01,112	Uh.	Uh.
967	00:51:01,244	00:51:02,212	Don't you hate that?	Don't you hate that?
968	00:51:02,345	00:51:03,848	My agent is the worst.	My agent is the worst.
969	00:51:05,049	00:51:06,818	I... I'll be sitting there, minding my own business, next	I... I'll be sitting there, minding my own business, next
970	00:51:06,951	00:51:09,586	thing I know she's poking her way through my pasta like she's	thing I know she's poking her way through my pasta like she's
971	00:51:09,721	00:51:11,321	heading some archaeological dig.	heading some archaeological dig.
972	00:51:11,455	00:51:12,556	What does...	What does...
973	00:51:13,390	00:51:13,991	"Just a taste. Just a little taste."	"Just a taste. Just a little taste."
974	00:51:15,258	00:51:17,061	Swear to God, there are people, you put 'em in front of food,	Swear to God, there are people, you put 'em in front of food,
975	00:51:17,195	00:51:19,529	they turn into cattle.	they turn into cattle.
976	00:51:19,664	00:51:22,166	Grazing their way around the table.	Grazing their way around the table.
977	00:51:22,299	00:51:23,266	Mr. Harris.	Mr. Harris.
978	00:51:23,400	00:51:24,869	A restaurant is not a pasture.	A restaurant is not a pasture.
979	00:51:25,002	00:51:25,937	God, how I hate that.	God, how I hate that.
980	00:51:26,070	00:51:27,038	Don't you hate that?	Don't you hate that?
981	00:51:27,171	00:51:28,039	Tell me you hate that.	Tell me you hate that.
982	00:51:28,172	00:51:29,707	I hate that.	I hate that.
983	00:51:29,841	00:51:30,775	Good.	Good.
984	00:51:31,876	00:51:33,310	'Cause as much as I hate that, it's not nearly as	'Cause as much as I hate that, it's not nearly as
985	00:51:33,443	00:51:35,278	much as I hated your play.	much as I hated your play.
986	00:51:46,289	00:51:50,928	Yes, hate. I tried to find something more palatable.	Yes, hate. I tried to find something more palatable.
987	00:51:51,829	00:51:55,398	Loathe, despise,	Loathe, despise,
988	00:51:55,532	00:51:57,334	abhor, condemn.	abhor, condemn.
989	00:51:57,467	00:51:58,703	I condemn your play.	I condemn your play.
990	00:51:58,836	00:52:01,638	But no, in the end "hate" will have to do.	But no, in the end "hate" will have to do.
991	00:52:06,077	00:52:08,212	This, of course, would be where, in an effort to	This, of course, would be where, in an effort to
992	00:52:08,345	00:52:13,316	extricate us both from a... an awkward situation, I say,	extricate us both from a... an awkward situation, I say,
993	00:52:13,450	00:52:15,753	"Perhaps, I'm being too harsh."	"Perhaps, I'm being too harsh."
994	00:52:16,586	00:52:18,555	But I don't.	But I don't.
995	00:52:19,289	00:52:21,324	Instead, I turn to you and say,	Instead, I turn to you and say,
996	00:52:21,458	00:52:23,393	"Pay for my ticket."	"Pay for my ticket."
997	00:52:26,596	00:52:30,201	Oh, when you um, hmm... yeah,	Oh, when you um, hmm... yeah,
998	00:52:30,333	00:52:32,435	well, when... when you say "hate"...	well, when... when you say "hate"...
999	00:52:33,336	00:52:35,139	Oh God, he wants... wants more.	Oh God, he wants... wants more.
1000	00:52:35,273	00:52:36,240	Write this down.	Write this down.
1001	00:52:36,373	00:52:37,541	I think I'll remember this.	I think I'll remember this.
1002	00:52:37,675	00:52:38,776	I can't hear you.	I can't hear you.
1003	00:52:39,643	00:52:40,211	I said, I think I'll remember this.	I said, I think I'll remember this.
1004	00:52:41,245	00:52:45,082	In your play. I cannot hear you in your play.	In your play. I cannot hear you in your play.
1005	00:52:45,216	00:52:46,117	Oh, I thought you were...	Oh, I thought you were...
1006	00:52:46,250	00:52:47,517	For whom are you writing?	For whom are you writing?
1007	00:52:48,351	00:52:49,452	What do you mean?	What do you mean?
1008	00:52:49,586	00:52:51,521	For whom are you writing?	For whom are you writing?
1009	00:52:53,124	00:52:54,357	The audience?	The audience?
1010	00:52:54,491	00:52:55,525	To hell with the audience.	To hell with the audience.
1011	00:52:56,093	00:52:58,062	You put your little fingers on your	You put your little fingers on your
1012	00:52:58,196	00:52:59,730	little keyboard and you start typing what you	little keyboard and you start typing what you
1013	00:52:59,864	00:53:03,600	think, what you feel, what you want,	think, what you feel, what you want,
1014	00:53:04,302	00:53:05,870	what you love, what you hate,	what you love, what you hate,
1015	00:53:06,436	00:53:07,571	what you cannot stand,	what you cannot stand,
1016	00:53:07,705	00:53:09,006	what you refuse to allow,	what you refuse to allow,
1017	00:53:09,140	00:53:10,041	what you must change,	what you must change,
1018	00:53:10,174	00:53:11,108	because if you do that,	because if you do that,
1019	00:53:11,242	00:53:12,743	you will write who you are.	you will write who you are.
1020	00:53:13,711	00:53:16,047	That said, you are the last thing I care about.	That said, you are the last thing I care about.
1021	00:53:16,180	00:53:17,815	You care about the story.	You care about the story.
1022	00:53:17,949	00:53:19,050	Not the story.	Not the story.
1023	00:53:19,183	00:53:20,450	The theme?	The theme?
1024	00:53:20,584	00:53:21,618	Stop being so academic.	Stop being so academic.
1025	00:53:21,752	00:53:22,920	When the curtain goes up,	When the curtain goes up,
1026	00:53:23,955	00:53:26,556	I care about one thing and one thing only. Me.	I care about one thing and one thing only. Me.
1027	00:53:26,691	00:53:28,993	When I'm not talking about myself,	When I'm not talking about myself,
1028	00:53:29,126	00:53:30,560	I'm thinking about myself.	I'm thinking about myself.
1029	00:53:30,695	00:53:33,597	Therefore, it would stand to reason that the only	Therefore, it would stand to reason that the only
1030	00:53:33,731	00:53:36,433	person I would want to know more about would be...	person I would want to know more about would be...
1031	00:53:38,002	00:53:39,103	You.	You.
1032	00:53:39,237	00:53:40,470	Through you.	Through you.
1033	00:53:40,604	00:53:42,106	Through your play.	Through your play.
1034	00:53:42,639	00:53:45,142	In order to do that, I have to hear you.	In order to do that, I have to hear you.
1035	00:53:45,843	00:53:49,146	If as I'm reading your words, I can hear your voice,	If as I'm reading your words, I can hear your voice,
1036	00:53:49,280	00:53:51,182	I will in turn hear mine.	I will in turn hear mine.
1037	00:53:51,749	00:53:55,987	And when I hear mine, in concert with yours, you will	And when I hear mine, in concert with yours, you will
1038	00:53:56,120	00:53:59,357	take me to a place that's deep, some place I may not want to go,	take me to a place that's deep, some place I may not want to go,
1039	00:53:59,489	00:54:01,325	some place I may not want to leave.	some place I may not want to leave.
1040	00:54:01,993	00:54:07,064	And if we're both very, very lucky, you will have taken	And if we're both very, very lucky, you will have taken
1041	00:54:07,198	00:54:09,033	me some place,	me some place,
1042	00:54:09,934	00:54:13,004	the only place worth writing about.	the only place worth writing about.
1043	00:54:14,338	00:54:16,774	A place called "human".	A place called "human".
1044	00:54:17,975	00:54:22,612	When you write that, then and only then,	When you write that, then and only then,
1045	00:54:22,747	00:54:24,348	will you have a play.	will you have a play.
1046	00:54:24,949	00:54:28,152	And for God's sakes, change the title,	And for God's sakes, change the title,
1047	00:54:28,286	00:54:30,154	critics will have a field day.	critics will have a field day.
1048	00:54:36,526	00:54:40,998	I'd like to pay for my ticket.	I'd like to pay for my ticket.
1049	00:54:46,837	00:54:50,675	Don't be so hard on yourself, it's your first play.	Don't be so hard on yourself, it's your first play.
1050	00:54:52,209	00:54:56,479	Worse, it's the first draft of your first play.	Worse, it's the first draft of your first play.
1051	00:54:56,613	00:54:58,382	You're not even out of the womb yet.	You're not even out of the womb yet.
1052	00:54:58,515	00:54:59,616	Cash or charge?	Cash or charge?
1053	00:54:59,750	00:55:00,985	Mr. Waters?	Mr. Waters?
1054	00:55:01,986	00:55:05,156	Your presence is requested.	Your presence is requested.
1055	00:55:09,694	00:55:12,562	Mr. Waters, I need your credit card.	Mr. Waters, I need your credit card.
1056	00:55:14,198	00:55:16,734	I am an artist and this is my art.	I am an artist and this is my art.
1057	00:55:21,038	00:55:23,107	I am an artist and this is my art.	I am an artist and this is my art.
1058	00:55:23,240	00:55:25,376	Oh, for God's sake.	Oh, for God's sake.
1059	00:55:25,910	00:55:27,912	I am an artist and this is my art.	I am an artist and this is my art.
1060	00:55:28,045	00:55:29,612	I'm not in the mood for this.	I'm not in the mood for this.
1061	00:55:29,747	00:55:31,048	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
1062	00:55:31,182	00:55:32,817	Mr. Waters, we have an agreement.	Mr. Waters, we have an agreement.
1063	00:55:32,950	00:55:35,152	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
1064	00:55:35,286	00:55:36,187	Waters.	Waters.
1065	00:55:36,988	00:55:37,822	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
1066	00:55:38,621	00:55:40,358	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
1067	00:55:40,490	00:55:41,392	I... I...	I... I...
1068	00:55:42,193	00:55:43,260	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
1069	00:55:44,061	00:55:44,795	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
1070	00:55:45,528	00:55:46,731	Waters, I need your credit card.	Waters, I need your credit card.
1071	00:55:46,864	00:55:48,631	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
1072	00:55:48,766	00:55:50,401	Get off my pew!	Get off my pew!
1073	00:55:50,533	00:55:52,169	I am an artist and this is my art!	I am an artist and this is my art!
1074	00:55:52,303	00:55:54,005	Get the hell off my pews or I'm callin' the cops!	Get the hell off my pews or I'm callin' the cops!
1075	00:55:54,138	00:55:55,006	Get off!	Get off!
1076	00:55:55,139	00:55:57,775	Yeah, okay, okay.	Yeah, okay, okay.
1077	00:55:58,409	00:56:00,144	I gave you a beer, so unless you want me to	I gave you a beer, so unless you want me to
1078	00:56:00,277	00:56:02,512	call the train people and tell them you drink on the job...	call the train people and tell them you drink on the job...
1079	00:56:16,660	00:56:18,628	I got a couple questions!	I got a couple questions!
1080	00:56:19,596	00:56:20,831	Do you?	Do you?
1081	00:56:20,965	00:56:22,033	Mhmm.	Mhmm.
1082	00:56:22,166	00:56:23,134	About?	About?
1083	00:56:23,267	00:56:24,268	All sorts of things.	All sorts of things.
1084	00:56:24,402	00:56:25,336	Where do I start?	Where do I start?
1085	00:56:25,469	00:56:26,871	Well, you could start by telling	Well, you could start by telling
1086	00:56:27,004	00:56:29,173	me why you're not honoring our agreement.	me why you're not honoring our agreement.
1087	00:56:29,306	00:56:30,708	Oh, I'm going to honor it!	Oh, I'm going to honor it!
1088	00:56:30,841	00:56:31,909	I may not be able to write,	I may not be able to write,
1089	00:56:32,043	00:56:33,511	but honorable? That I can do!	but honorable? That I can do!
1090	00:56:34,011	00:56:35,513	I read your play, didn't I?	I read your play, didn't I?
1091	00:56:35,645	00:56:36,514	Yes, you did!	Yes, you did!
1092	00:56:36,646	00:56:37,515	And we discussed it.	And we discussed it.
1093	00:56:37,647	00:56:38,615	Yes, we did!	Yes, we did!
1094	00:56:38,749	00:56:40,284	So what is it I haven't done?	So what is it I haven't done?
1095	00:56:40,418	00:56:42,820	Why haven't you written anything in almost 20 years?	Why haven't you written anything in almost 20 years?
1096	00:56:44,955	00:56:46,457	Pay for my ticket.	Pay for my ticket.
1097	00:56:46,589	00:56:48,959	Is it because you're a drunk?	Is it because you're a drunk?
1098	00:56:53,064	00:56:57,902	"Look! Look, I'm Joseph Harris!	"Look! Look, I'm Joseph Harris!
1099	00:56:58,035	00:57:00,603	I think I'll sit down and not write a play!	I think I'll sit down and not write a play!
1100	00:57:00,738	00:57:04,508	Do you care to join me, Mr. Waters? Yes? No?	Do you care to join me, Mr. Waters? Yes? No?
1101	00:57:04,675	00:57:06,110	All the more for me.	All the more for me.
1102	00:57:06,243	00:57:09,547	I love being me. You should be so lucky."	I love being me. You should be so lucky."
1103	00:57:10,647	00:57:14,318	Do you know what's worse than meeting your inspiration? Huh?	Do you know what's worse than meeting your inspiration? Huh?
1104	00:57:14,452	00:57:18,122	Coming face to face with your muse. That's right, Harris.	Coming face to face with your muse. That's right, Harris.
1105	00:57:18,255	00:57:21,192	I have a muse, right here in my bag.	I have a muse, right here in my bag.
1106	00:57:25,496	00:57:28,598	You! You are my muse!	You! You are my muse!
1107	00:57:28,732	00:57:30,901	Not some little bird who sits on my shoulder!	Not some little bird who sits on my shoulder!
1108	00:57:31,035	00:57:34,138	You! I know I'm supposed to have my own voice,	You! I know I'm supposed to have my own voice,
1109	00:57:34,271	00:57:36,240	and truth, and soul, but I don't.	and truth, and soul, but I don't.
1110	00:57:36,373	00:57:38,542	I'm not a playwright and I never will be.	I'm not a playwright and I never will be.
1111	00:57:38,676	00:57:39,642	Tell me the truth!	Tell me the truth!
1112	00:57:39,777	00:57:41,078	Tell me I'm not a playwright!	Tell me I'm not a playwright!
1113	00:57:45,416	00:57:47,818	Do you want me to fix it?	Do you want me to fix it?
1114	00:57:50,821	00:57:52,156	What, you're just gonna sit here	What, you're just gonna sit here
1115	00:57:52,289	00:57:53,924	and work some kind of a miracle, is that it?	and work some kind of a miracle, is that it?
1116	00:57:54,592	00:57:56,393	Something like that.	Something like that.
1117	00:57:57,928	00:58:00,397	Pay for my ticket, I'll fix your play.	Pay for my ticket, I'll fix your play.
1118	00:58:01,765	00:58:03,901	Fix my play and I'll pay for your ticket.	Fix my play and I'll pay for your ticket.
1119	00:58:06,537	00:58:08,139	Do you have a pen?	Do you have a pen?
1120	00:58:10,374	00:58:14,378	Uh. I think a lot of what's wrong	Uh. I think a lot of what's wrong
1121	00:58:14,512	00:58:15,645	with it is in the Second Act.	with it is in the Second Act.
1122	00:58:15,779	00:58:17,248	Not that the First Act is so great, but I	Not that the First Act is so great, but I
1123	00:58:17,381	00:58:19,049	ran into problems with the subplot about the brother.	ran into problems with the subplot about the brother.
1124	00:58:19,683	00:58:20,951	I just don't know if he's that	I just don't know if he's that
1125	00:58:21,085	00:58:21,986	interesting of a character, to be honest.	interesting of a character, to be honest.
1126	00:58:22,119	00:58:23,154	I like the sister, though.	I like the sister, though.
1127	00:58:24,355	00:58:25,089	She's modeled after my own sister who's this certifiable	She's modeled after my own sister who's this certifiable
1128	00:58:26,290	00:58:27,224	maniac which is why anytime she opens her mouth, she...	maniac which is why anytime she opens her mouth, she...
1129	00:58:27,358	00:58:28,826	Done.	Done.
1130	00:58:29,627	00:58:31,095	You can't do that.	You can't do that.
1131	00:58:31,228	00:58:33,464	Great American Play by Joseph Harris.	Great American Play by Joseph Harris.
1132	00:58:33,597	00:58:35,266	Some judicious trimming,	Some judicious trimming,
1133	00:58:35,399	00:58:37,334	I'm sure it will be to Simon's liking.	I'm sure it will be to Simon's liking.
1134	00:58:38,335	00:58:39,637	No.	No.
1135	00:58:39,770	00:58:40,671	You want to be a playwright?	You want to be a playwright?
1136	00:58:40,804	00:58:42,339	You're a playwright.	You're a playwright.
1137	00:58:42,473	00:58:43,641	Not like this.	Not like this.
1138	00:58:44,175	00:58:46,410	Haven't you heard of collaboration?	Haven't you heard of collaboration?
1139	00:58:46,544	00:58:48,379	It's the new rage.	It's the new rage.
1140	00:58:48,946	00:58:50,614	Simon's gonna wanna know where you are.	Simon's gonna wanna know where you are.
1141	00:58:50,748	00:58:53,117	I'll be in New York.	I'll be in New York.
1142	00:58:53,951	00:58:55,753	He's going to want to talk to you.	He's going to want to talk to you.
1143	00:58:55,886	00:58:57,154	He's going to want to discuss the play.	He's going to want to discuss the play.
1144	00:58:58,422	00:59:01,660	I'm nothing if not eccentric and my latest eccentricity is that I	I'm nothing if not eccentric and my latest eccentricity is that I
1145	00:59:01,792	00:59:04,828	refuse to discuss my play with anyone other than you.	refuse to discuss my play with anyone other than you.
1146	00:59:04,962	00:59:06,330	Uh, he won't buy that.	Uh, he won't buy that.
1147	00:59:07,231	00:59:09,833	I'll tell him we have great chemistry.	I'll tell him we have great chemistry.
1148	00:59:09,967	00:59:11,435	He'll know it's not yours.	He'll know it's not yours.
1149	00:59:11,569	00:59:13,470	He hasn't read it, has he?	He hasn't read it, has he?
1150	00:59:13,604	00:59:14,673	No.	No.
1151	00:59:14,805	00:59:17,174	Ah, perfect. Signed a contract	Ah, perfect. Signed a contract
1152	00:59:17,308	00:59:20,578	for a new play, no one said it had to be any good.	for a new play, no one said it had to be any good.
1153	00:59:21,111	00:59:22,880	But it's not even in your style, your voice.	But it's not even in your style, your voice.
1154	00:59:23,013	00:59:24,982	Don't be afraid, Mr. Waters.	Don't be afraid, Mr. Waters.
1155	00:59:25,449	00:59:29,620	You're about to become the luckiest apprentice in the	You're about to become the luckiest apprentice in the
1156	00:59:29,753	00:59:32,156	history of the American Theatre.	history of the American Theatre.
1157	00:59:35,993	00:59:37,928	You still didn't answer my question.	You still didn't answer my question.
1158	00:59:40,965	00:59:45,769	Yes. I'm a drunk.	Yes. I'm a drunk.
1159	00:59:54,278	00:59:56,780	Is that why you want to kill yourself?	Is that why you want to kill yourself?
1160	01:00:12,896	01:00:17,768	I am the way I am, because it makes everything the same.	I am the way I am, because it makes everything the same.
1161	01:00:20,004	01:00:23,274	Exactly as it should be, exactly	Exactly as it should be, exactly
1162	01:00:23,407	01:00:27,911	as it was, and always will be which is exactly how we like it.	as it was, and always will be which is exactly how we like it.
1163	01:00:29,613	01:00:31,148	Isn't it?	Isn't it?
1164	01:00:33,083	01:00:34,485	If you say so.	If you say so.
1165	01:00:34,618	01:00:36,020	Oh, I know so.	Oh, I know so.
1166	01:00:36,553	01:00:39,556	Save us all from the one thing that we don't want to	Save us all from the one thing that we don't want to
1167	01:00:39,691	01:00:41,258	face which is what, Mr. Waters?	face which is what, Mr. Waters?
1168	01:00:41,392	01:00:45,796	What is that thing inside you, that thing your play lacks?	What is that thing inside you, that thing your play lacks?
1169	01:00:47,898	01:00:49,867	The truth?	The truth?
1170	01:00:50,000	01:00:53,871	Define truth.	Define truth.
1171	01:00:54,004	01:00:55,906	Feeling more than we want to?	Feeling more than we want to?
1172	01:00:56,807	01:01:00,811	Feeling all of it. Every heartache,	Feeling all of it. Every heartache,
1173	01:01:00,944	01:01:04,315	every triumph,	every triumph,
1174	01:01:06,016	01:01:08,319	right, wrong,	right, wrong,
1175	01:01:08,452	01:01:09,987	hope, and dream.	hope, and dream.
1176	01:01:10,120	01:01:14,024	Love and loss.	Love and loss.
1177	01:01:15,794	01:01:19,196	All I know, all I don't,	All I know, all I don't,
1178	01:01:20,631	01:01:23,233	all I am, and all I am not.	all I am, and all I am not.
1179	01:01:29,106	01:01:32,744	The 4:19 to Toledo will be arriving shortly.	The 4:19 to Toledo will be arriving shortly.
1180	01:01:32,876	01:01:35,245	Please be careful near the tracks.	Please be careful near the tracks.
1181	01:02:21,258	01:02:24,027	Ah, mornin', Franz.	Ah, mornin', Franz.
1182	01:02:24,161	01:02:25,329	Mornin', Mary.	Mornin', Mary.
1183	01:02:25,462	01:02:26,463	Merry Christmas.	Merry Christmas.
1184	01:02:26,597	01:02:27,766	How's your sister?	How's your sister?
1185	01:02:29,066	01:02:32,603	Uh, well, between you and me, if she'd just get it over with.	Uh, well, between you and me, if she'd just get it over with.
1186	01:02:32,737	01:02:34,505	I got coffee made.	I got coffee made.
1187	01:02:34,638	01:02:37,074	Oh no, no. No thanks, I'm fine.	Oh no, no. No thanks, I'm fine.
1188	01:02:48,385	01:02:50,154	Hello.	Hello.
1189	01:02:50,921	01:02:52,757	Hello.	Hello.
1190	01:02:53,223	01:02:55,626	You going to Toledo?	You going to Toledo?
1191	01:02:56,627	01:02:59,096	No.	No.
1192	01:02:59,764	01:03:01,733	I'm gonna see my sister.	I'm gonna see my sister.
1193	01:03:02,232	01:03:03,934	She's dying of cancer.	She's dying of cancer.
1194	01:03:04,067	01:03:06,303	It's very sad.	It's very sad.
1195	01:03:12,209	01:03:15,512	I'm not sorry.	I'm not sorry.
1196	01:03:22,286	01:03:24,488	Neither am I.	Neither am I.
1197	01:03:25,355	01:03:27,491	You want the ticket or not?	You want the ticket or not?
1198	01:03:55,720	01:03:58,522	One last question.	One last question.
1199	01:04:03,962	01:04:06,997	Can you still think?	Can you still think?
1200	01:04:11,001	01:04:12,503	Answer the question.	Answer the question.
1201	01:04:13,103	01:04:15,539	It's not important.	It's not important.
1202	01:04:18,642	01:04:21,445	You've never said anything unimportant in your life.	You've never said anything unimportant in your life.
1203	01:04:34,659	01:04:37,261	"There comes a time in the life of every playwright	"There comes a time in the life of every playwright
1204	01:04:37,996	01:04:40,597	when you realize you've written your great play.	when you realize you've written your great play.
1205	01:04:41,164	01:04:42,734	I've written mine.	I've written mine.
1206	01:04:44,002	01:04:45,602	My fear is Up a Lonely River may not only be the best play I have	My fear is Up a Lonely River may not only be the best play I have
1207	01:04:45,737	01:04:48,205	ever written, but it is quite possibly the best play	ever written, but it is quite possibly the best play
1208	01:04:48,338	01:04:49,406	I will ever write.	I will ever write.
1209	01:04:50,407	01:04:52,509	Knowing this is frightening enough, but one's	Knowing this is frightening enough, but one's
1210	01:04:52,643	01:04:55,178	only hope of overcoming the daunting prospect of never being	only hope of overcoming the daunting prospect of never being
1211	01:04:55,312	01:04:57,682	able to live up to yourself is	able to live up to yourself is
1212	01:04:57,815	01:04:59,249	to sit down at your desk every morning,	to sit down at your desk every morning,
1213	01:04:59,383	01:05:01,118	put your fingers on the keys,	put your fingers on the keys,
1214	01:05:01,251	01:05:02,553	and type what you think.	and type what you think.
1215	01:05:02,687	01:05:05,055	For it matters not what I have done,	For it matters not what I have done,
1216	01:05:05,188	01:05:06,991	only what I still have to say	only what I still have to say
1217	01:05:07,558	01:05:10,227	and there is always something still to say, because	and there is always something still to say, because
1218	01:05:10,360	01:05:13,731	as long as I can still think, I will still write."	as long as I can still think, I will still write."
1219	01:05:20,337	01:05:22,239	Can you still think?	Can you still think?
1220	01:05:47,531	01:05:49,667	All this time, it didn't make any sense.	All this time, it didn't make any sense.
1221	01:05:50,167	01:05:53,905	Why would he come all this way just to return a check for a	Why would he come all this way just to return a check for a
1222	01:05:54,038	01:05:55,505	play he never wrote?	play he never wrote?
1223	01:06:05,515	01:06:08,585	"Untitled New Play By Joseph Harris."	"Untitled New Play By Joseph Harris."
1224	01:06:13,624	01:06:15,727	Out of all the possible titles.	Out of all the possible titles.
1225	01:06:20,197	01:06:21,766	When?	When?
1226	01:06:21,899	01:06:22,967	No, it doesn't matter.	No, it doesn't matter.
1227	01:06:24,102	01:06:26,904	Oh, it matters, Mr. Waters. It matters a great deal.	Oh, it matters, Mr. Waters. It matters a great deal.
1228	01:06:28,572	01:06:30,173	When you got on the train to come here.	When you got on the train to come here.
1229	01:06:30,307	01:06:33,111	You said it yourself, "No one comes to a place like this	You said it yourself, "No one comes to a place like this
1230	01:06:33,243	01:06:34,645	unless they have to."	unless they have to."
1231	01:06:39,483	01:06:41,686	I ran into the street.	I ran into the street.
1232	01:06:43,688	01:06:47,759	Everyone was pouring out of the stores, their apartments.	Everyone was pouring out of the stores, their apartments.
1233	01:06:48,625	01:06:52,130	What was going on? No one knew a thing.	What was going on? No one knew a thing.
1234	01:06:52,997	01:06:56,834	A queen on the fourth floor of a walk up was hanging	A queen on the fourth floor of a walk up was hanging
1235	01:06:56,968	01:06:59,236	out his window, calling down to	out his window, calling down to
1236	01:06:59,369	01:07:01,571	us about what he was seeing on television.	us about what he was seeing on television.
1237	01:07:02,172	01:07:07,377	A woman in high heels ran past me, through me actually,	A woman in high heels ran past me, through me actually,
1238	01:07:07,577	01:07:10,213	screaming into her cell phone about having	screaming into her cell phone about having
1239	01:07:10,347	01:07:14,686	to get to her daughter's school all the way up in the East 90s.	to get to her daughter's school all the way up in the East 90s.
1240	01:07:15,218	01:07:20,091	I stepped... I stepped out onto	I stepped... I stepped out onto
1241	01:07:20,223	01:07:22,026	7th Avenue and looked south.	7th Avenue and looked south.
1242	01:07:22,592	01:07:24,662	I could see the smoke.	I could see the smoke.
1243	01:07:24,796	01:07:26,064	And the fire.	And the fire.
1244	01:07:26,630	01:07:28,298	And then came the second plane.	And then came the second plane.
1245	01:07:28,432	01:07:30,134	Over the water.	Over the water.
1246	01:07:30,735	01:07:34,038	So low I could see that brilliant September sun	So low I could see that brilliant September sun
1247	01:07:34,172	01:07:35,973	reflecting off the fuselage.	reflecting off the fuselage.
1248	01:07:36,506	01:07:38,176	I watched it rumble northward,	I watched it rumble northward,
1249	01:07:38,308	01:07:41,611	as if pulled by a string until that guided suicidal roar	as if pulled by a string until that guided suicidal roar
1250	01:07:41,746	01:07:43,513	exploded into a giant orange	exploded into a giant orange
1251	01:07:43,647	01:07:46,216	ball and then a cloud of the blackest smoke and	ball and then a cloud of the blackest smoke and
1252	01:07:46,349	01:07:48,452	I swear the ground underneath me shuddered.	I swear the ground underneath me shuddered.
1253	01:07:48,585	01:07:50,387	The queen was shrieking now, 'We're...'"	The queen was shrieking now, 'We're...'"
1254	01:07:50,520	01:07:53,057	HARRIS AND KEnNETH: "'We're under attack. We're under attack.'"	HARRIS AND KEnNETH: "'We're under attack. We're under attack.'"
1255	01:07:53,791	01:07:55,525	And the streets were filled with	And the streets were filled with
1256	01:07:55,660	01:07:57,227	people, all coming from everywhere	people, all coming from everywhere
1257	01:07:57,360	01:07:58,495	"Everywhere and nowhere.	"Everywhere and nowhere.
1258	01:07:58,628	01:08:01,231	Asking the same question, over and over.	Asking the same question, over and over.
1259	01:08:01,364	01:08:04,702	'Why?' 'Why?'	'Why?' 'Why?'
1260	01:08:06,671	01:08:09,506	'Why?'	'Why?'
1261	01:08:10,141	01:08:14,812	And I stood there thinking	And I stood there thinking
1262	01:08:17,414	01:08:20,550	this may be the best thing that had	this may be the best thing that had
1263	01:08:20,685	01:08:25,422	ever happened to this fat, arrogant excuse for a country."	ever happened to this fat, arrogant excuse for a country."
1264	01:08:28,325	01:08:30,527	And I started crying,	And I started crying,
1265	01:08:31,095	01:08:32,930	not for those poor people in	not for those poor people in
1266	01:08:33,064	01:08:35,233	those planes, in those buildings.	those planes, in those buildings.
1267	01:08:35,365	01:08:39,603	I started crying, because I knew I had to write it.	I started crying, because I knew I had to write it.
1268	01:08:41,939	01:08:45,342	I knew I had to turn this... this... this	I knew I had to turn this... this... this
1269	01:08:45,475	01:08:49,446	horrible, horrible day into art.	horrible, horrible day into art.
1270	01:08:55,519	01:08:57,889	But you can't produce a play	But you can't produce a play
1271	01:08:58,022	01:09:01,759	about 9/11 that says we deserved it.	about 9/11 that says we deserved it.
1272	01:09:04,628	01:09:07,031	So I threw it in a drawer.	So I threw it in a drawer.
1273	01:09:11,202	01:09:13,004	Is it any good?	Is it any good?
1274	01:09:16,540	01:09:18,843	It's the best thing I ever wrote.	It's the best thing I ever wrote.
1275	01:09:20,278	01:09:21,813	And I hate every word of it.	And I hate every word of it.
1276	01:09:26,918	01:09:28,786	Well,	Well,
1277	01:09:29,419	01:09:31,454	with all due respect, Mr. Harris,	with all due respect, Mr. Harris,
1278	01:09:31,588	01:09:33,456	you're the last thing I care about.	you're the last thing I care about.
1279	01:09:36,794	01:09:39,362	You sound like a playwright.	You sound like a playwright.
1280	01:09:41,999	01:09:44,001	I am.	I am.
1281	01:09:57,114	01:10:02,286	They say as soon as a playwright writes "The End", the play is...	They say as soon as a playwright writes "The End", the play is...
1282	01:10:02,419	01:10:04,387	"The play is no longer his. It's theirs.	"The play is no longer his. It's theirs.
1283	01:10:04,521	01:10:05,555	To do with what they will."	To do with what they will."
1284	01:10:06,057	01:10:09,492	American Theater Magazine, January, 1991.	American Theater Magazine, January, 1991.
1285	01:10:15,199	01:10:17,500	I don't have a title.	I don't have a title.
1286	01:10:18,035	01:10:19,337	You can borrow mine!	You can borrow mine!
1287	01:10:29,412	01:10:31,883	Get out, get out, get outta here.	Get out, get out, get outta here.