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1 | 00:00:50,380 | 00:00:51,529 | Dear Brothers. | Dear Brothers. |
2 | 00:00:53,380 | 00:00:56,611 | We are gathered here today | We are gathered here today |
3 | 00:00:56,820 | 00:01:03,293 | in the Convent of the Order of the Barefoot Snail-hunters. | in the Convent of the Order of the Barefoot Snail-hunters. |
4 | 00:01:05,500 | 00:01:12,929 | Today's sermon will deal with the word of the Lord. | Today's sermon will deal with the word of the Lord. |
5 | 00:01:21,060 | 00:01:23,415 | And I saw the light, | And I saw the light, |
6 | 00:01:24,820 | 00:01:29,018 | and the light was hardly even a moped headlight. | and the light was hardly even a moped headlight. |
7 | 00:01:30,180 | 00:01:34,219 | Nor was it the Lord, for the Lord doesn't need headlights, | Nor was it the Lord, for the Lord doesn't need headlights, |
8 | 00:01:34,420 | 00:01:35,899 | or streetlamps, or even hazard lights. | or streetlamps, or even hazard lights. |
9 | 00:01:36,420 | 00:01:40,333 | In the Kingdom of the Lord, there is neither day nor night. | In the Kingdom of the Lord, there is neither day nor night. |
10 | 00:01:41,020 | 00:01:44,057 | It is always midday and everyone's always eating. | It is always midday and everyone's always eating. |
11 | 00:01:44,820 | 00:01:47,334 | And that little twerp of a demon is there in a corner, | And that little twerp of a demon is there in a corner, |
12 | 00:01:47,500 | 00:01:51,129 | getting stones thrown in his face and eating the leftovers. | getting stones thrown in his face and eating the leftovers. |
13 | 00:01:51,940 | 00:01:54,295 | And may God free us | And may God free us |
14 | 00:01:54,580 | 00:01:57,856 | of the Romanians repairing the roof of our church, | of the Romanians repairing the roof of our church, |
15 | 00:01:58,020 | 00:02:00,250 | putting the roof tiles on backwards, all fucked up, | putting the roof tiles on backwards, all fucked up, |
16 | 00:02:00,460 | 00:02:02,052 | so they fall when the wind blows just like in their country, | so they fall when the wind blows just like in their country, |
17 | 00:02:02,500 | 00:02:07,574 | Bulgaria or Moldavia, let me tell ya, fella... | Bulgaria or Moldavia, let me tell ya, fella... |
18 | 00:02:08,980 | 00:02:10,572 | And may this government of morons | And may this government of morons |
19 | 00:02:10,780 | 00:02:12,691 | put an end to corruption once and for all, | put an end to corruption once and for all, |
20 | 00:02:12,980 | 00:02:15,335 | even if they have to bribe someone to do so, | even if they have to bribe someone to do so, |
21 | 00:02:15,900 | 00:02:17,777 | since that what we all pay taxes for. | since that what we all pay taxes for. |
22 | 00:02:40,700 | 00:02:45,012 | And may there be decent public transport | And may there be decent public transport |
23 | 00:02:45,420 | 00:02:47,376 | in this crap old country, | in this crap old country, |
24 | 00:02:47,740 | 00:02:49,412 | where there shouldn't even be roads | where there shouldn't even be roads |
25 | 00:02:49,580 | 00:02:51,138 | because all the drivers are a bunch of murderers, | because all the drivers are a bunch of murderers, |
26 | 00:02:51,500 | 00:02:52,489 | as are the doctors, | as are the doctors, |
27 | 00:02:52,660 | 00:02:54,457 | who go on strike in hospitals | who go on strike in hospitals |
28 | 00:02:54,620 | 00:02:57,009 | with some guy lying there with his guts hanging out | with some guy lying there with his guts hanging out |
29 | 00:02:57,220 | 00:02:59,370 | and his appendix dancing a jig. | and his appendix dancing a jig. |
30 | 00:03:00,460 | 00:03:01,415 | And while we're at it, | And while we're at it, |
31 | 00:03:01,580 | 00:03:05,732 | we should burn down the courts and the law schools. | we should burn down the courts and the law schools. |
32 | 00:03:06,860 | 00:03:08,179 | These are the wishes of the Lord. | These are the wishes of the Lord. |
33 | 00:03:08,580 | 00:03:09,535 | Amen. | Amen. |
34 | 00:03:17,940 | 00:03:19,658 | Amen. Let me tell ya. | Amen. Let me tell ya. |
35 | 00:03:19,980 | 00:03:20,935 | Amen. | Amen. |
36 | 00:03:29,740 | 00:03:32,777 | Well goddamn if it isn't... my old Tonimobile. | Well goddamn if it isn't... my old Tonimobile. |
37 | 00:03:33,300 | 00:03:35,495 | Now this is one kick ass machine, man. | Now this is one kick ass machine, man. |
38 | 00:03:35,660 | 00:03:39,369 | It's survived psychopathic nuns thrashing on the bodywork | It's survived psychopathic nuns thrashing on the bodywork |
39 | 00:03:39,700 | 00:03:42,498 | and it discovered the sea passage to Spain. | and it discovered the sea passage to Spain. |
40 | 00:03:42,780 | 00:03:46,216 | This is a spaceship right out of "Star Wars". | This is a spaceship right out of "Star Wars". |
41 | 00:03:49,540 | 00:03:50,689 | It's all the shit. | It's all the shit. |
42 | 00:03:54,420 | 00:03:58,095 | My beloved traffic tickets, what a smell! | My beloved traffic tickets, what a smell! |
43 | 00:03:58,460 | 00:03:59,495 | All unpaid. | All unpaid. |
44 | 00:03:59,700 | 00:04:02,168 | I'm not going to fuck up the collection now, right? | I'm not going to fuck up the collection now, right? |
45 | 00:04:03,180 | 00:04:07,014 | A racecar like this one here in a vacant lot out in the sticks. | A racecar like this one here in a vacant lot out in the sticks. |
46 | 00:04:07,500 | 00:04:09,809 | And no one came to rip it off? | And no one came to rip it off? |
47 | 00:04:10,820 | 00:04:11,775 | Miracle. | Miracle. |
48 | 00:04:12,460 | 00:04:18,854 | And if God didn't say so himself, I'd say this here is a miracle. Amen. | And if God didn't say so himself, I'd say this here is a miracle. Amen. |
49 | 00:04:25,340 | 00:04:29,891 | Tony, it's great to see you. You look the same. | Tony, it's great to see you. You look the same. |
50 | 00:04:32,900 | 00:04:34,128 | Jesus fucking Christ, | Jesus fucking Christ, |
51 | 00:04:34,500 | 00:04:37,253 | they built this damn place out in the middle of nowhere. | they built this damn place out in the middle of nowhere. |
52 | 00:06:10,620 | 00:06:13,054 | TRICKSTERS | TRICKSTERS |
53 | 00:06:15,700 | 00:06:19,534 | Easy there Barrabas, leave the cabbages alone! | Easy there Barrabas, leave the cabbages alone! |
54 | 00:06:19,940 | 00:06:22,579 | It's not Barrabas, Zeze, it's Popeye. | It's not Barrabas, Zeze, it's Popeye. |
55 | 00:06:23,700 | 00:06:27,659 | Anyway man, tell me, what's become of your life? | Anyway man, tell me, what's become of your life? |
56 | 00:06:27,860 | 00:06:29,737 | It really does seem just like yesterday. | It really does seem just like yesterday. |
57 | 00:06:30,060 | 00:06:37,011 | I've been here since... let's see 1979... plus five... | I've been here since... let's see 1979... plus five... |
58 | 00:06:37,500 | 00:06:38,899 | Do the math. | Do the math. |
59 | 00:06:39,140 | 00:06:41,893 | So I've been here for a week. | So I've been here for a week. |
60 | 00:06:42,220 | 00:06:45,098 | I can tell; you're much more relaxed. | I can tell; you're much more relaxed. |
61 | 00:06:45,260 | 00:06:47,137 | Tell me about it, I'm much more chilled out. | Tell me about it, I'm much more chilled out. |
62 | 00:06:47,300 | 00:06:49,894 | I'm practically a saint. | I'm practically a saint. |
63 | 00:06:51,460 | 00:06:52,688 | Goddamn donkey. | Goddamn donkey. |
64 | 00:06:54,100 | 00:06:55,374 | Drop the cabbage! | Drop the cabbage! |
65 | 00:06:55,660 | 00:06:56,729 | Poor guy. | Poor guy. |
66 | 00:06:57,780 | 00:07:01,455 | And so you, batface, tell me, what the hell are you here for? | And so you, batface, tell me, what the hell are you here for? |
67 | 00:07:02,020 | 00:07:03,772 | Zeze, not out of disgrace of the truth, | Zeze, not out of disgrace of the truth, |
68 | 00:07:04,020 | 00:07:05,055 | I have come here... | I have come here... |
69 | 00:07:05,460 | 00:07:06,813 | Don't tell me! | Don't tell me! |
70 | 00:07:07,100 | 00:07:11,378 | You cannot live without your friend and guru Zeze. | You cannot live without your friend and guru Zeze. |
71 | 00:07:11,860 | 00:07:14,090 | You're forgiven. You can kiss my hand. | You're forgiven. You can kiss my hand. |
72 | 00:07:14,420 | 00:07:17,378 | I really don't think so! | I really don't think so! |
73 | 00:07:17,620 | 00:07:19,929 | Zeze, the thing is that in order to be true to myself | Zeze, the thing is that in order to be true to myself |
74 | 00:07:20,140 | 00:07:22,495 | and to you as well, I've come here, Zeze, to... | and to you as well, I've come here, Zeze, to... |
75 | 00:07:22,660 | 00:07:27,256 | Wait, I got it. You've come to get your car back. | Wait, I got it. You've come to get your car back. |
76 | 00:07:27,660 | 00:07:31,619 | You can take it, just leave me the hens and the eggs, | You can take it, just leave me the hens and the eggs, |
77 | 00:07:31,900 | 00:07:33,492 | 'cause here in the countryside we eat lots of eggs... | 'cause here in the countryside we eat lots of eggs... |
78 | 00:07:33,740 | 00:07:35,458 | It's true they are good for strengthening the hair, | It's true they are good for strengthening the hair, |
79 | 00:07:35,620 | 00:07:37,656 | they have vitamins and their great for cholesterol. | they have vitamins and their great for cholesterol. |
80 | 00:07:37,820 | 00:07:39,572 | But what brings me here, Zeze, is... | But what brings me here, Zeze, is... |
81 | 00:07:39,780 | 00:07:41,133 | Wait, now I've got it. | Wait, now I've got it. |
82 | 00:07:41,740 | 00:07:45,210 | What you want is to join the Order of the Barefoot Snail-hunters. | What you want is to join the Order of the Barefoot Snail-hunters. |
83 | 00:07:46,060 | 00:07:49,257 | Brother, unshod yourself, take off your boots... | Brother, unshod yourself, take off your boots... |
84 | 00:07:53,060 | 00:07:56,973 | I really don't think so! The building is old and could fall. | I really don't think so! The building is old and could fall. |
85 | 00:07:57,140 | 00:07:58,653 | Leave it as it is. Better that way. | Leave it as it is. Better that way. |
86 | 00:07:58,820 | 00:08:00,970 | Anyway, I might just walk on outta here, no? | Anyway, I might just walk on outta here, no? |
87 | 00:08:01,260 | 00:08:03,649 | It's been wonderful to see you again so healthy, | It's been wonderful to see you again so healthy, |
88 | 00:08:03,820 | 00:08:05,048 | healthy as a big old oak tree. | healthy as a big old oak tree. |
89 | 00:08:05,300 | 00:08:06,255 | Later. | Later. |
90 | 00:08:06,460 | 00:08:07,654 | Let me tell ya, fella! | Let me tell ya, fella! |
91 | 00:08:07,860 | 00:08:09,452 | Toni, Toni, it seems to me | Toni, Toni, it seems to me |
92 | 00:08:09,660 | 00:08:12,049 | you have not told me what it is that's afflicting you. | you have not told me what it is that's afflicting you. |
93 | 00:08:12,220 | 00:08:13,812 | You can tell me everything. | You can tell me everything. |
94 | 00:08:14,020 | 00:08:17,012 | I am a man of the church. I am here to listen. | I am a man of the church. I am here to listen. |
95 | 00:08:17,260 | 00:08:20,332 | To listen? Look how you've changed. | To listen? Look how you've changed. |
96 | 00:08:20,500 | 00:08:22,695 | If I'd have known, I'd have brought my guitar. | If I'd have known, I'd have brought my guitar. |
97 | 00:08:22,900 | 00:08:24,413 | No, calm down. It's not worth it. | No, calm down. It's not worth it. |
98 | 00:08:24,660 | 00:08:26,457 | If you want, I'll play a song for you. | If you want, I'll play a song for you. |
99 | 00:08:26,620 | 00:08:27,575 | Relax. | Relax. |
100 | 00:08:27,740 | 00:08:29,059 | It's no bother at all. | It's no bother at all. |
101 | 00:08:29,460 | 00:08:30,939 | But to me it is. | But to me it is. |
102 | 00:08:32,260 | 00:08:35,570 | Look, why don't you just tell me why you've come. | Look, why don't you just tell me why you've come. |
103 | 00:08:36,300 | 00:08:40,498 | Zeze, before coming here to preach to the corn, | Zeze, before coming here to preach to the corn, |
104 | 00:08:40,780 | 00:08:42,930 | you told me something | you told me something |
105 | 00:08:43,220 | 00:08:45,051 | that has been knocking around in my head | that has been knocking around in my head |
106 | 00:08:45,220 | 00:08:46,175 | all this time. | all this time. |
107 | 00:08:46,340 | 00:08:48,854 | Listen, you can confide in me. | Listen, you can confide in me. |
108 | 00:08:49,140 | 00:08:51,654 | I'm a priest and a priest is like a father. | I'm a priest and a priest is like a father. |
109 | 00:08:51,860 | 00:08:55,569 | Bingo. I have to ask you about my father. | Bingo. I have to ask you about my father. |
110 | 00:08:55,860 | 00:09:00,809 | I thought so. Don't you see I'm enlightened? | I thought so. Don't you see I'm enlightened? |
111 | 00:09:01,100 | 00:09:04,536 | And when I go to the mountain, I speak with God, | And when I go to the mountain, I speak with God, |
112 | 00:09:04,820 | 00:09:06,173 | in dreams of course. | in dreams of course. |
113 | 00:09:06,340 | 00:09:09,412 | And afterwards I come down the hill to preach the truth... | And afterwards I come down the hill to preach the truth... |
114 | 00:09:09,700 | 00:09:13,852 | Jesus. You're outta your mind. I'd better get going. | Jesus. You're outta your mind. I'd better get going. |
115 | 00:09:14,300 | 00:09:17,133 | Let go of me! Let me go! | Let go of me! Let me go! |
116 | 00:09:18,140 | 00:09:22,053 | Good God. You're off your head. | Good God. You're off your head. |
117 | 00:09:23,220 | 00:09:25,336 | Outta your head I say. Let me tell ya, fella! | Outta your head I say. Let me tell ya, fella! |
118 | 00:09:25,540 | 00:09:26,814 | Four months earlier Hold it right there, cheeseface! | Four months earlier Hold it right there, cheeseface! |
119 | 00:09:27,060 | 00:09:28,413 | If you don't want another round willingly, | If you don't want another round willingly, |
120 | 00:09:28,580 | 00:09:29,535 | we'll have to do it the hard way. | we'll have to do it the hard way. |
121 | 00:09:29,700 | 00:09:30,655 | Let's let fate decide. | Let's let fate decide. |
122 | 00:09:30,820 | 00:09:33,573 | Heads or tails. Heads you win, tails, one of us. | Heads or tails. Heads you win, tails, one of us. |
123 | 00:09:33,780 | 00:09:34,815 | What if the coin lands on its side? | What if the coin lands on its side? |
124 | 00:09:35,100 | 00:09:36,055 | On its side? | On its side? |
125 | 00:09:36,220 | 00:09:37,175 | It's happened before. | It's happened before. |
126 | 00:09:37,340 | 00:09:38,295 | If it lands on its side, | If it lands on its side, |
127 | 00:09:38,460 | 00:09:40,655 | we call the waiter and the problem's solved. | we call the waiter and the problem's solved. |
128 | 00:09:40,820 | 00:09:41,775 | Is it a dealer? | Is it a dealer? |
129 | 00:09:41,980 | 00:09:42,935 | Offshore. | Offshore. |
130 | 00:09:52,660 | 00:09:53,615 | What is it? | What is it? |
131 | 00:09:53,900 | 00:09:55,811 | Depends. What coin is that? | Depends. What coin is that? |
132 | 00:09:56,100 | 00:09:57,055 | One euro. | One euro. |
133 | 00:09:57,260 | 00:09:58,932 | One euro? Then it's heads. | One euro? Then it's heads. |
134 | 00:10:00,860 | 00:10:02,498 | All right, batface, explain that one to me. | All right, batface, explain that one to me. |
135 | 00:10:02,660 | 00:10:04,616 | How much is one euro worth? 166.386 pesetas, right? | How much is one euro worth? 166.386 pesetas, right? |
136 | 00:10:04,820 | 00:10:06,538 | It's goddamn heady coin if I ever saw one. | It's goddamn heady coin if I ever saw one. |
137 | 00:10:12,300 | 00:10:14,689 | Zeze, why did you have to go and punch me? | Zeze, why did you have to go and punch me? |
138 | 00:10:15,500 | 00:10:18,617 | Why did I do it? Why did I do it? | Why did I do it? Why did I do it? |
139 | 00:10:18,780 | 00:10:19,849 | I'm not deaf! | I'm not deaf! |
140 | 00:10:20,140 | 00:10:21,289 | Because the earth is round? | Because the earth is round? |
141 | 00:10:21,620 | 00:10:22,939 | Because the sum of the legs squared | Because the sum of the legs squared |
142 | 00:10:23,140 | 00:10:25,370 | is equal to the square root of the hypotenuse? | is equal to the square root of the hypotenuse? |
143 | 00:10:25,700 | 00:10:28,658 | Because the needle of a compass always points straight ahead? | Because the needle of a compass always points straight ahead? |
144 | 00:10:28,980 | 00:10:29,935 | The earth is round? | The earth is round? |
145 | 00:10:30,100 | 00:10:31,294 | Of course! | Of course! |
146 | 00:10:31,500 | 00:10:32,455 | What part of it? | What part of it? |
147 | 00:10:32,660 | 00:10:33,615 | The edges. | The edges. |
148 | 00:10:33,820 | 00:10:34,889 | And where are the edges? | And where are the edges? |
149 | 00:10:35,340 | 00:10:37,649 | What's with you, man, do I look like a typographer to you? | What's with you, man, do I look like a typographer to you? |
150 | 00:10:37,860 | 00:10:39,213 | I don't know, let me get a good look at you. | I don't know, let me get a good look at you. |
151 | 00:10:39,380 | 00:10:41,211 | Goddammit, I'm outta here. What for, but I'm not even sick. | Goddammit, I'm outta here. What for, but I'm not even sick. |
152 | 00:10:41,460 | 00:10:42,415 | What about me? | What about me? |
153 | 00:10:43,020 | 00:10:46,092 | You? You're out of it. | You? You're out of it. |
154 | 00:10:46,340 | 00:10:47,693 | If a doctor were to catch you, | If a doctor were to catch you, |
155 | 00:10:47,900 | 00:10:52,735 | he'd put you in a jar of formaldehyde to run experiments on you. | he'd put you in a jar of formaldehyde to run experiments on you. |
156 | 00:10:53,580 | 00:10:55,935 | Toni, the mutating aberration. | Toni, the mutating aberration. |
157 | 00:10:56,380 | 00:10:59,213 | Coming soon to a theater near you, to an emergency room near you... | Coming soon to a theater near you, to an emergency room near you... |
158 | 00:10:59,380 | 00:11:00,654 | Holy fucking shit! | Holy fucking shit! |
159 | 00:11:01,260 | 00:11:03,296 | Zeze I just had a wicked idea. | Zeze I just had a wicked idea. |
160 | 00:11:03,580 | 00:11:04,535 | Fuck! | Fuck! |
161 | 00:11:04,820 | 00:11:07,414 | I'm going to ask that gentleman to hold my place in line. | I'm going to ask that gentleman to hold my place in line. |
162 | 00:11:08,340 | 00:11:15,257 | Excuse me sir. If they call my name, could you call me... by my name? | Excuse me sir. If they call my name, could you call me... by my name? |
163 | 00:11:16,140 | 00:11:17,095 | Don't worry. | Don't worry. |
164 | 00:11:17,260 | 00:11:20,570 | If they call him, I'll call you so that you can call him, okay? | If they call him, I'll call you so that you can call him, okay? |
165 | 00:11:28,540 | 00:11:30,417 | So then, didn't you hear your name called? | So then, didn't you hear your name called? |
166 | 00:11:31,740 | 00:11:32,695 | Son of a bitch! | Son of a bitch! |
167 | 00:11:33,100 | 00:11:34,055 | What's happening? | What's happening? |
168 | 00:11:34,220 | 00:11:35,175 | Son of a bitch! | Son of a bitch! |
169 | 00:11:35,420 | 00:11:37,775 | I forgot to tell my name to that dude. | I forgot to tell my name to that dude. |
170 | 00:11:38,380 | 00:11:40,211 | Toni! | Toni! |
171 | 00:11:44,100 | 00:11:45,294 | Forget it, don't worry. | Forget it, don't worry. |
172 | 00:11:45,500 | 00:11:48,094 | He doesn't know your name, but with that mace face of yours, | He doesn't know your name, but with that mace face of yours, |
173 | 00:11:48,300 | 00:11:49,619 | it's hard to even look at you. | it's hard to even look at you. |
174 | 00:11:57,740 | 00:11:58,809 | So what's it going to be? | So what's it going to be? |
175 | 00:11:59,180 | 00:12:00,169 | Don't even ask. | Don't even ask. |
176 | 00:12:00,980 | 00:12:03,448 | A calamari sandwich and a glass of wine, please. | A calamari sandwich and a glass of wine, please. |
177 | 00:12:04,980 | 00:12:06,129 | And you're not gonna eat anything? | And you're not gonna eat anything? |
178 | 00:12:06,380 | 00:12:07,369 | I already ordered. | I already ordered. |
179 | 00:12:07,940 | 00:12:08,975 | What about me then? | What about me then? |
180 | 00:12:09,300 | 00:12:11,768 | I asked you what you wanted and you got all pissed. | I asked you what you wanted and you got all pissed. |
181 | 00:12:12,220 | 00:12:14,336 | Cancel that order for this individual please. | Cancel that order for this individual please. |
182 | 00:12:14,500 | 00:12:16,297 | Make that two calamari sandwiches and two wines. | Make that two calamari sandwiches and two wines. |
183 | 00:12:16,660 | 00:12:19,299 | Make mine with mayo, please. | Make mine with mayo, please. |
184 | 00:12:19,660 | 00:12:21,059 | What do you mean yours? Did you already order? | What do you mean yours? Did you already order? |
185 | 00:12:21,380 | 00:12:22,335 | No, you did though. | No, you did though. |
186 | 00:12:22,500 | 00:12:23,455 | I ordered for me, | I ordered for me, |
187 | 00:12:23,620 | 00:12:24,609 | if you want to eat, order for yourself. | if you want to eat, order for yourself. |
188 | 00:12:24,780 | 00:12:26,611 | Goddammit, I ordered for me and you canceled my order. | Goddammit, I ordered for me and you canceled my order. |
189 | 00:12:26,860 | 00:12:28,259 | Of course, because you didn't order for me. | Of course, because you didn't order for me. |
190 | 00:12:28,420 | 00:12:31,139 | So that's why, is it? Revenge? | So that's why, is it? Revenge? |
191 | 00:12:31,380 | 00:12:32,449 | So then don't be surprised | So then don't be surprised |
192 | 00:12:32,620 | 00:12:35,930 | if after eating three or four sandwiches a day, | if after eating three or four sandwiches a day, |
193 | 00:12:36,180 | 00:12:38,740 | you end up having a Cadillac arrest. | you end up having a Cadillac arrest. |
194 | 00:12:38,900 | 00:12:42,813 | Hold it right there, foul vulture! Don't fuck with me! | Hold it right there, foul vulture! Don't fuck with me! |
195 | 00:12:42,980 | 00:12:46,768 | You don't like to hear the truth, do ya? You're just like the rest. | You don't like to hear the truth, do ya? You're just like the rest. |
196 | 00:12:47,020 | 00:12:48,248 | What rest? | What rest? |
197 | 00:12:48,620 | 00:12:50,133 | The rest, of them, everyone, humanity. | The rest, of them, everyone, humanity. |
198 | 00:12:50,380 | 00:12:52,257 | They're all as fat as posts. | They're all as fat as posts. |
199 | 00:12:52,540 | 00:12:53,893 | What do you care, cheese face. | What do you care, cheese face. |
200 | 00:12:54,180 | 00:12:56,330 | When even the slightest breeze comes along, | When even the slightest breeze comes along, |
201 | 00:12:56,500 | 00:12:59,810 | your wife has to go pull you down from the church bell tower. | your wife has to go pull you down from the church bell tower. |
202 | 00:13:00,020 | 00:13:03,251 | That's it, that's right, Big Toni, Big Toni... | That's it, that's right, Big Toni, Big Toni... |
203 | 00:13:03,900 | 00:13:06,539 | Always blowing it out of proportion. That only happened once. | Always blowing it out of proportion. That only happened once. |
204 | 00:13:06,940 | 00:13:08,498 | So what's it going to be then? | So what's it going to be then? |
205 | 00:13:08,900 | 00:13:12,449 | When a donkey speaks, my friend, the other one pricks up his ears. | When a donkey speaks, my friend, the other one pricks up his ears. |
206 | 00:13:12,860 | 00:13:14,657 | And don't fuck me around, | And don't fuck me around, |
207 | 00:13:14,820 | 00:13:16,617 | unless you want me to shove a jar of pickles down your throat. | unless you want me to shove a jar of pickles down your throat. |
208 | 00:13:16,780 | 00:13:17,735 | I beg your pardon? | I beg your pardon? |
209 | 00:13:18,380 | 00:13:20,177 | You're pardoned. | You're pardoned. |
210 | 00:13:20,500 | 00:13:21,933 | But next time, I'll chop off your balls, | But next time, I'll chop off your balls, |
211 | 00:13:22,100 | 00:13:23,772 | fry them up, and make you eat them. | fry them up, and make you eat them. |
212 | 00:13:27,780 | 00:13:29,008 | Let me get this straight, | Let me get this straight, |
213 | 00:13:29,220 | 00:13:30,619 | so you've taken to this all-light bullshit then? | so you've taken to this all-light bullshit then? |
214 | 00:13:30,900 | 00:13:31,855 | Like it should be. | Like it should be. |
215 | 00:13:32,100 | 00:13:33,419 | The whole bio-fatness thing? - Like it should be. | The whole bio-fatness thing? - Like it should be. |
216 | 00:13:33,580 | 00:13:35,730 | The cardio-active-bifidus business? - Like it should be, Zeze. | The cardio-active-bifidus business? - Like it should be, Zeze. |
217 | 00:13:35,940 | 00:13:38,932 | I have to be careful about the junk food I ingest. | I have to be careful about the junk food I ingest. |
218 | 00:13:39,180 | 00:13:42,058 | My body is a holy temple. | My body is a holy temple. |
219 | 00:13:42,420 | 00:13:43,648 | Gimme a fucking break! | Gimme a fucking break! |
220 | 00:13:43,940 | 00:13:45,498 | My grandfather grew up eating | My grandfather grew up eating |
221 | 00:13:45,660 | 00:13:47,696 | seven plates of hog's feet for breakfast, | seven plates of hog's feet for breakfast, |
222 | 00:13:47,900 | 00:13:51,370 | with wine so bad it came to the glass in installments. | with wine so bad it came to the glass in installments. |
223 | 00:13:51,580 | 00:13:55,050 | He rolled up some corn leaf joints and smoked thirty or forty a day. | He rolled up some corn leaf joints and smoked thirty or forty a day. |
224 | 00:13:55,220 | 00:13:57,051 | Every day, twice a day | Every day, twice a day |
225 | 00:13:57,260 | 00:13:59,455 | from the age of three until he was ninety six, | from the age of three until he was ninety six, |
226 | 00:13:59,700 | 00:14:03,249 | and at ninety four he donated a lung to a 20 year old kid. | and at ninety four he donated a lung to a 20 year old kid. |
227 | 00:14:03,740 | 00:14:08,018 | That one guy who years later became the goalkeeper for Oporto. | That one guy who years later became the goalkeeper for Oporto. |
228 | 00:14:08,220 | 00:14:09,175 | That's it! | That's it! |
229 | 00:14:09,340 | 00:14:11,012 | Edmilson, the one the crossbeam fell onto | Edmilson, the one the crossbeam fell onto |
230 | 00:14:11,260 | 00:14:12,454 | while he was having an asthma attack. | while he was having an asthma attack. |
231 | 00:14:13,700 | 00:14:15,258 | That's the one. | That's the one. |
232 | 00:14:15,940 | 00:14:17,419 | So. Have you decided yet? | So. Have you decided yet? |
233 | 00:14:17,700 | 00:14:18,655 | Look, could you make it | Look, could you make it |
234 | 00:14:18,820 | 00:14:20,492 | a calamari sandwich and a glass of wine, please? | a calamari sandwich and a glass of wine, please? |
235 | 00:14:20,660 | 00:14:23,811 | That order has been put on stand-bypass. | That order has been put on stand-bypass. |
236 | 00:14:24,420 | 00:14:27,332 | Yeah, right, so you're preaching about nutritional morals | Yeah, right, so you're preaching about nutritional morals |
237 | 00:14:27,500 | 00:14:28,933 | and now you order a calamari sandwich. | and now you order a calamari sandwich. |
238 | 00:14:29,380 | 00:14:31,655 | You're right. | You're right. |
239 | 00:14:32,060 | 00:14:35,894 | Make mine with a leaf of lettuce, but make it a really thin one. | Make mine with a leaf of lettuce, but make it a really thin one. |
240 | 00:14:36,140 | 00:14:37,129 | Don't make it with anything, | Don't make it with anything, |
241 | 00:14:37,300 | 00:14:38,449 | and if you do, I'll bash your teeth in. | and if you do, I'll bash your teeth in. |
242 | 00:14:38,620 | 00:14:39,973 | Jesus, Zeze, don't your realize I'm sick? | Jesus, Zeze, don't your realize I'm sick? |
243 | 00:14:40,140 | 00:14:41,095 | I don't care. | I don't care. |
244 | 00:14:41,260 | 00:14:42,739 | And I had to go to the ER. | And I had to go to the ER. |
245 | 00:14:43,020 | 00:14:43,975 | What do you want? | What do you want? |
246 | 00:14:44,260 | 00:14:47,297 | For me to die of a subcutaneous avitaminosis? | For me to die of a subcutaneous avitaminosis? |
247 | 00:14:49,060 | 00:14:50,015 | A what? | A what? |
248 | 00:14:50,180 | 00:14:51,249 | Avitaminosis. | Avitaminosis. |
249 | 00:14:51,980 | 00:14:56,849 | Is that what you have? So then, order a sandwich at least. | Is that what you have? So then, order a sandwich at least. |
250 | 00:14:57,540 | 00:14:59,496 | It's about time. | It's about time. |
251 | 00:15:00,380 | 00:15:02,416 | CLOSED FOR CONSTRUCTION UNTIL A FEW YEARS FROM NOW | CLOSED FOR CONSTRUCTION UNTIL A FEW YEARS FROM NOW |
252 | 00:15:08,500 | 00:15:13,938 | YOU'RE SO FULL OF IT WHEN IT COMES TO PHILOSOPHISING... | YOU'RE SO FULL OF IT WHEN IT COMES TO PHILOSOPHISING... |
253 | 00:15:15,340 | 00:15:16,739 | Jesus fucking Christ! | Jesus fucking Christ! |
254 | 00:15:17,220 | 00:15:19,256 | Over here, quiet as an ass! | Over here, quiet as an ass! |
255 | 00:15:20,340 | 00:15:21,295 | And wouldn't you know it, | And wouldn't you know it, |
256 | 00:15:21,460 | 00:15:22,415 | this fucking machine is out of order... | this fucking machine is out of order... |
257 | 00:15:22,580 | 00:15:24,298 | I want chips, now! | I want chips, now! |
258 | 00:15:24,500 | 00:15:25,569 | So what then, shall we get going? | So what then, shall we get going? |
259 | 00:15:25,740 | 00:15:26,889 | Are you ready? | Are you ready? |
260 | 00:15:27,060 | 00:15:29,733 | I missed my turn and it made my day, Zeze. | I missed my turn and it made my day, Zeze. |
261 | 00:15:30,620 | 00:15:33,259 | What are you, a dumbfuck? | What are you, a dumbfuck? |
262 | 00:15:33,460 | 00:15:34,813 | This batbrain here is a mystery to us all. | This batbrain here is a mystery to us all. |
263 | 00:15:35,020 | 00:15:36,612 | So like, you missed your turn and it made your day? | So like, you missed your turn and it made your day? |
264 | 00:15:36,780 | 00:15:38,008 | Exactly. | Exactly. |
265 | 00:15:38,500 | 00:15:41,492 | Zeze, guess who this mangled sicko is. | Zeze, guess who this mangled sicko is. |
266 | 00:15:41,700 | 00:15:44,658 | Jesus, it fucking looks like ET. | Jesus, it fucking looks like ET. |
267 | 00:15:44,820 | 00:15:46,890 | It's not fucking ET. It's me. | It's not fucking ET. It's me. |
268 | 00:15:47,220 | 00:15:50,337 | And is that that hanger I swallowed that one time? | And is that that hanger I swallowed that one time? |
269 | 00:15:50,940 | 00:15:52,532 | That's it! | That's it! |
270 | 00:15:52,820 | 00:15:55,050 | Boy, did I have to give it to you that day. | Boy, did I have to give it to you that day. |
271 | 00:15:55,220 | 00:15:57,256 | Of course, I didn't want to open my mouth. | Of course, I didn't want to open my mouth. |
272 | 00:15:57,420 | 00:16:01,936 | Jesus, but that was more than twenty years ago, right? | Jesus, but that was more than twenty years ago, right? |
273 | 00:16:02,100 | 00:16:04,978 | The thing is, I never had time to come and get my x-rays. | The thing is, I never had time to come and get my x-rays. |
274 | 00:16:05,300 | 00:16:07,530 | My life recently has been hell. | My life recently has been hell. |
275 | 00:16:07,780 | 00:16:09,259 | I haven't even been sleeping in my bed. | I haven't even been sleeping in my bed. |
276 | 00:16:10,340 | 00:16:11,773 | I was crashing there in the room. | I was crashing there in the room. |
277 | 00:16:12,340 | 00:16:13,375 | What about the hanger? | What about the hanger? |
278 | 00:16:13,540 | 00:16:16,373 | I don't know, it must be hanging out around my liver by now. | I don't know, it must be hanging out around my liver by now. |
279 | 00:16:16,580 | 00:16:19,413 | Which is why my liver hurts so much... when I drink. | Which is why my liver hurts so much... when I drink. |
280 | 00:16:19,620 | 00:16:22,009 | Goddamn right, with the hanger rusting and all. | Goddamn right, with the hanger rusting and all. |
281 | 00:16:22,180 | 00:16:24,978 | Anyway, we've got the papers now, we're all set, let's get outta here. | Anyway, we've got the papers now, we're all set, let's get outta here. |
282 | 00:16:25,220 | 00:16:26,175 | We're not going anywhere | We're not going anywhere |
283 | 00:16:26,380 | 00:16:28,575 | until this fucking vending machine gives me my chips. | until this fucking vending machine gives me my chips. |
284 | 00:16:29,500 | 00:16:31,377 | Now wait, let's see. The machine swallowed the coin? | Now wait, let's see. The machine swallowed the coin? |
285 | 00:16:32,060 | 00:16:33,015 | What coin? | What coin? |
286 | 00:16:38,100 | 00:16:40,978 | Jesus fucking Christ, we hit rush hour! | Jesus fucking Christ, we hit rush hour! |
287 | 00:16:41,340 | 00:16:44,218 | No problem. Turn left; I know a shortcut. | No problem. Turn left; I know a shortcut. |
288 | 00:16:57,900 | 00:17:00,368 | Godammit, you got us stuck in the fucking traffic jam. | Godammit, you got us stuck in the fucking traffic jam. |
289 | 00:17:00,620 | 00:17:02,372 | You're the one who told me to turn left. | You're the one who told me to turn left. |
290 | 00:17:03,580 | 00:17:05,093 | It's because of the construction. | It's because of the construction. |
291 | 00:17:05,900 | 00:17:07,731 | This fucking city is always under construction. | This fucking city is always under construction. |
292 | 00:17:07,900 | 00:17:09,333 | They're fucking everything up. | They're fucking everything up. |
293 | 00:17:11,700 | 00:17:13,019 | Toni, open the door, | Toni, open the door, |
294 | 00:17:13,700 | 00:17:15,258 | chips always give me gas. | chips always give me gas. |
295 | 00:17:15,860 | 00:17:18,499 | Goddammit, what a fucking stench! Don't tell anyone you're healthy. | Goddammit, what a fucking stench! Don't tell anyone you're healthy. |
296 | 00:17:20,940 | 00:17:22,134 | The door fell off! | The door fell off! |
297 | 00:17:26,500 | 00:17:28,058 | Dumbass, get that piece of shit moving | Dumbass, get that piece of shit moving |
298 | 00:17:28,300 | 00:17:31,053 | or I'll have to get out and kick start it! | or I'll have to get out and kick start it! |
299 | 00:17:33,340 | 00:17:34,978 | Why the hell are all these people here | Why the hell are all these people here |
300 | 00:17:35,140 | 00:17:36,368 | at the same time anyway? | at the same time anyway? |
301 | 00:17:36,580 | 00:17:37,774 | Because of work, Zeze. | Because of work, Zeze. |
302 | 00:17:38,180 | 00:17:39,135 | At this hour? | At this hour? |
303 | 00:17:39,540 | 00:17:41,053 | There are people who work. | There are people who work. |
304 | 00:17:42,060 | 00:17:43,937 | Which is why this country doesn't count for anything. | Which is why this country doesn't count for anything. |
305 | 00:17:45,020 | 00:17:46,373 | Move it, jackass! | Move it, jackass! |
306 | 00:17:47,780 | 00:17:52,808 | Zeze, when I stop to think about it and I see all this confusion, | Zeze, when I stop to think about it and I see all this confusion, |
307 | 00:17:53,020 | 00:17:54,055 | do you know what I think? | do you know what I think? |
308 | 00:17:54,340 | 00:17:55,773 | No, I don't even want to know. | No, I don't even want to know. |
309 | 00:17:56,140 | 00:17:57,368 | Well I'm going to tell you anyway. | Well I'm going to tell you anyway. |
310 | 00:17:57,660 | 00:18:00,618 | I think this society is unorganized. | I think this society is unorganized. |
311 | 00:18:01,420 | 00:18:03,775 | Some go to work for others, | Some go to work for others, |
312 | 00:18:04,220 | 00:18:06,859 | and the others go to work for us, right? | and the others go to work for us, right? |
313 | 00:18:07,140 | 00:18:09,176 | To work? To work, but badly. | To work? To work, but badly. |
314 | 00:18:10,100 | 00:18:12,011 | Come on, get moving moron! | Come on, get moving moron! |
315 | 00:18:12,980 | 00:18:16,290 | This modern world. It's all about competition. | This modern world. It's all about competition. |
316 | 00:18:16,540 | 00:18:19,134 | Every goddamn one of us is blinded by money. | Every goddamn one of us is blinded by money. |
317 | 00:18:19,820 | 00:18:23,369 | What about ideals? What ever happened to ideals? | What about ideals? What ever happened to ideals? |
318 | 00:18:23,580 | 00:18:25,013 | God knows what it's going to be this time. | God knows what it's going to be this time. |
319 | 00:18:27,580 | 00:18:29,218 | This piece of shit radio doesn't work or what? | This piece of shit radio doesn't work or what? |
320 | 00:18:29,380 | 00:18:30,335 | Of course it does. | Of course it does. |
321 | 00:18:32,500 | 00:18:33,819 | It's Janis Lopez! | It's Janis Lopez! |
322 | 00:18:34,060 | 00:18:35,971 | This chick knew what she was talking about. | This chick knew what she was talking about. |
323 | 00:18:36,220 | 00:18:38,859 | She got sick and tired of it all and got a one way ticket outta here. | She got sick and tired of it all and got a one way ticket outta here. |
324 | 00:18:39,820 | 00:18:42,653 | Janis Llopis went to live in Estoril? | Janis Llopis went to live in Estoril? |
325 | 00:18:43,060 | 00:18:44,129 | Where did you read that? | Where did you read that? |
326 | 00:18:44,380 | 00:18:45,335 | Jesus fucking Christ, Zeze! | Jesus fucking Christ, Zeze! |
327 | 00:18:45,620 | 00:18:46,575 | A one way ticket to the beyond, | A one way ticket to the beyond, |
328 | 00:18:46,740 | 00:18:47,968 | to beyond the beyond, to the fifth dimension. | to beyond the beyond, to the fifth dimension. |
329 | 00:18:48,140 | 00:18:50,700 | Ever heard of it? | Ever heard of it? |
330 | 00:18:50,860 | 00:18:53,738 | Yes. I've heard something about the heatstroke melting your head. | Yes. I've heard something about the heatstroke melting your head. |
331 | 00:18:53,900 | 00:18:55,333 | You're the one who's beyond the beyond. | You're the one who's beyond the beyond. |
332 | 00:18:56,220 | 00:18:57,778 | Zeze, when someone goes to the beyond, | Zeze, when someone goes to the beyond, |
333 | 00:18:57,940 | 00:18:58,895 | they can't take anything with them, | they can't take anything with them, |
334 | 00:18:59,060 | 00:19:00,049 | not even their car. | not even their car. |
335 | 00:19:00,220 | 00:19:01,175 | Gosh what luck, | Gosh what luck, |
336 | 00:19:01,420 | 00:19:05,493 | can you imagine yourself with this piece of junk in heaven, | can you imagine yourself with this piece of junk in heaven, |
337 | 00:19:06,420 | 00:19:09,298 | spewing out gasocarbonates onto the head of Saint Peter? | spewing out gasocarbonates onto the head of Saint Peter? |
338 | 00:19:09,660 | 00:19:10,615 | Goddamn right, let me tell ya. | Goddamn right, let me tell ya. |
339 | 00:19:10,780 | 00:19:12,691 | They'd kick you out faster than you can say emissions test. | They'd kick you out faster than you can say emissions test. |
340 | 00:19:13,260 | 00:19:14,978 | This fucking Janis Gomez is bustin my goddamn balls. | This fucking Janis Gomez is bustin my goddamn balls. |
341 | 00:19:15,900 | 00:19:19,939 | Go fucking sing somewhere else, in the beyond! | Go fucking sing somewhere else, in the beyond! |
342 | 00:19:21,380 | 00:19:23,450 | You get all pissed off, man. | You get all pissed off, man. |
343 | 00:19:23,660 | 00:19:27,050 | Show some respect to Janis, for fuck's sake, she's a legend. | Show some respect to Janis, for fuck's sake, she's a legend. |
344 | 00:19:27,260 | 00:19:28,249 | Respect the divine, dude. | Respect the divine, dude. |
345 | 00:19:29,020 | 00:19:30,214 | You want your face smashed in? | You want your face smashed in? |
346 | 00:19:31,180 | 00:19:32,772 | If anyone in this car | If anyone in this car |
347 | 00:19:32,940 | 00:19:36,649 | has more respect for the divine than you, it's me... dumbfuck. | has more respect for the divine than you, it's me... dumbfuck. |
348 | 00:19:36,860 | 00:19:39,090 | You? For your information, | You? For your information, |
349 | 00:19:39,260 | 00:19:42,491 | I didn't get my First Communion because they made me slave away | I didn't get my First Communion because they made me slave away |
350 | 00:19:42,700 | 00:19:43,689 | to get baptized first. | to get baptized first. |
351 | 00:19:43,860 | 00:19:44,815 | That's what I'm talking about. | That's what I'm talking about. |
352 | 00:19:44,980 | 00:19:45,935 | But, check this out. | But, check this out. |
353 | 00:19:46,100 | 00:19:47,055 | At home I've got a rosary | At home I've got a rosary |
354 | 00:19:47,220 | 00:19:51,179 | and picture books of the story of the resurrelection of Judas. | and picture books of the story of the resurrelection of Judas. |
355 | 00:19:51,420 | 00:19:53,172 | But which one, the Old Testament or the new one? | But which one, the Old Testament or the new one? |
356 | 00:19:53,380 | 00:19:55,052 | No fucking idea. I've had it for forever though. | No fucking idea. I've had it for forever though. |
357 | 00:19:55,300 | 00:19:56,415 | Then it's the old one. | Then it's the old one. |
358 | 00:19:56,620 | 00:19:58,656 | Yeah, besides, it's covered in cobwebs. | Yeah, besides, it's covered in cobwebs. |
359 | 00:19:59,020 | 00:19:59,975 | Step on it! | Step on it! |
360 | 00:20:00,540 | 00:20:01,609 | I've see people move faster in the cemetery! | I've see people move faster in the cemetery! |
361 | 00:20:01,780 | 00:20:02,735 | Move your ass! | Move your ass! |
362 | 00:20:03,380 | 00:20:06,292 | What, did you win your driver's license in a crap shoot! | What, did you win your driver's license in a crap shoot! |
363 | 00:20:06,660 | 00:20:09,254 | You know what this world needs? | You know what this world needs? |
364 | 00:20:09,740 | 00:20:13,210 | A new religion, Buddhism style, Om. | A new religion, Buddhism style, Om. |
365 | 00:20:16,300 | 00:20:17,494 | Or one like the Arabs got. | Or one like the Arabs got. |
366 | 00:20:17,980 | 00:20:19,379 | The Arabic one isn't new. | The Arabic one isn't new. |
367 | 00:20:19,860 | 00:20:21,771 | Ours began on May 13th in Fatima, | Ours began on May 13th in Fatima, |
368 | 00:20:21,940 | 00:20:23,578 | and theirs on September 11th in New York. | and theirs on September 11th in New York. |
369 | 00:20:23,820 | 00:20:26,618 | Holy shit, Zeze, you're a fucking genius with dates! | Holy shit, Zeze, you're a fucking genius with dates! |
370 | 00:20:26,820 | 00:20:27,775 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
371 | 00:20:28,420 | 00:20:30,297 | This motherfucking traffic jam is pissing me off. | This motherfucking traffic jam is pissing me off. |
372 | 00:20:33,180 | 00:20:35,171 | Move your ass, dickhead | Move your ass, dickhead |
373 | 00:20:36,140 | 00:20:39,735 | or I'll rip out your eyeball | or I'll rip out your eyeball |
374 | 00:20:40,420 | 00:20:42,376 | and take a dump in the hole. | and take a dump in the hole. |
375 | 00:20:44,420 | 00:20:47,457 | You really need to learn to respect your fellow man. | You really need to learn to respect your fellow man. |
376 | 00:20:47,620 | 00:20:48,973 | Remember, God will choose... | Remember, God will choose... |
377 | 00:20:49,380 | 00:20:51,940 | What do ya mean, God will chew? That old bastard! | What do ya mean, God will chew? That old bastard! |
378 | 00:20:52,580 | 00:20:57,893 | Even if he had teeth, they'd only be good for eating or... | Even if he had teeth, they'd only be good for eating or... |
379 | 00:20:58,140 | 00:20:59,095 | Or drinking? | Or drinking? |
380 | 00:20:59,260 | 00:21:00,215 | No, order... | No, order... |
381 | 00:21:00,380 | 00:21:01,335 | Ordering meals? | Ordering meals? |
382 | 00:21:01,540 | 00:21:02,814 | No, order, order... | No, order, order... |
383 | 00:21:03,020 | 00:21:04,135 | Order to go, I'm getting hungry. | Order to go, I'm getting hungry. |
384 | 00:21:04,420 | 00:21:05,978 | Hors d'oeuvres goddammit, | Hors d'oeuvres goddammit, |
385 | 00:21:06,660 | 00:21:10,892 | religious ones like angel food cake or that pasta... | religious ones like angel food cake or that pasta... |
386 | 00:21:16,100 | 00:21:19,251 | The Lord works in mysterious ways. | The Lord works in mysterious ways. |
387 | 00:21:21,780 | 00:21:24,374 | So Zeze, what did my father say? | So Zeze, what did my father say? |
388 | 00:21:24,860 | 00:21:28,694 | He said lots of things, the old bastard. | He said lots of things, the old bastard. |
389 | 00:21:28,940 | 00:21:31,659 | Still the same old chatterbox, no? | Still the same old chatterbox, no? |
390 | 00:21:32,060 | 00:21:33,732 | But Toni, you never actually met him. | But Toni, you never actually met him. |
391 | 00:21:33,980 | 00:21:37,609 | Well no, which is why I wanted to know all the details. | Well no, which is why I wanted to know all the details. |
392 | 00:21:37,780 | 00:21:39,850 | I'm not sure you're ready for that though. | I'm not sure you're ready for that though. |
393 | 00:21:40,020 | 00:21:41,294 | Of course I am, dude; I'm all ears! | Of course I am, dude; I'm all ears! |
394 | 00:21:42,940 | 00:21:43,895 | All right. | All right. |
395 | 00:21:46,260 | 00:21:47,579 | But first let's pray. | But first let's pray. |
396 | 00:21:47,860 | 00:21:49,896 | Pray? Zeze, I haven't even washed my hands. | Pray? Zeze, I haven't even washed my hands. |
397 | 00:21:50,460 | 00:21:52,098 | On your knees, right now! | On your knees, right now! |
398 | 00:21:52,380 | 00:21:54,735 | I can't get on my knees because of my arthrosis. | I can't get on my knees because of my arthrosis. |
399 | 00:21:55,100 | 00:21:59,173 | I'm sorry, but my collar bones just won't hold up. | I'm sorry, but my collar bones just won't hold up. |
400 | 00:21:59,460 | 00:22:00,939 | Toni, close your eyes! | Toni, close your eyes! |
401 | 00:22:01,260 | 00:22:03,820 | No way! If I close them, you'll punch me, I know you. | No way! If I close them, you'll punch me, I know you. |
402 | 00:22:04,020 | 00:22:06,659 | All right, then don't close them. | All right, then don't close them. |
403 | 00:22:06,980 | 00:22:09,448 | Ready? Shit, praying's a breeze. | Ready? Shit, praying's a breeze. |
404 | 00:22:10,060 | 00:22:13,097 | Toni, don't tell me you never learned how to pray. | Toni, don't tell me you never learned how to pray. |
405 | 00:22:13,700 | 00:22:14,849 | How am I going to learn how to pray | How am I going to learn how to pray |
406 | 00:22:15,020 | 00:22:16,089 | if I never even learned to speak right. | if I never even learned to speak right. |
407 | 00:22:16,300 | 00:22:19,178 | I've never even set foot in a church until today. | I've never even set foot in a church until today. |
408 | 00:22:20,060 | 00:22:22,335 | You'd never set foot in a church before, you heretic? | You'd never set foot in a church before, you heretic? |
409 | 00:22:23,100 | 00:22:25,489 | Never. They never let me. | Never. They never let me. |
410 | 00:22:26,580 | 00:22:30,129 | Every time I went into the sacristies, they yelled at me: | Every time I went into the sacristies, they yelled at me: |
411 | 00:22:30,340 | 00:22:33,537 | Drop the brush, asshole | Drop the brush, asshole |
412 | 00:22:34,100 | 00:22:36,898 | and stop washing your feet in the holy water! | and stop washing your feet in the holy water! |
413 | 00:22:38,060 | 00:22:43,293 | Toni, poor devil. You disgust me. | Toni, poor devil. You disgust me. |
414 | 00:22:43,540 | 00:22:44,575 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
415 | 00:22:45,340 | 00:22:46,773 | Come on now, take your confession! | Come on now, take your confession! |
416 | 00:22:46,980 | 00:22:48,208 | I really don't think so! | I really don't think so! |
417 | 00:22:48,780 | 00:22:49,929 | Do I have to get on my knees? | Do I have to get on my knees? |
418 | 00:22:54,220 | 00:22:57,178 | Zeze, give me your blessing for I have sinned tones. | Zeze, give me your blessing for I have sinned tones. |
419 | 00:22:57,380 | 00:22:59,814 | I'm the priest here, and I'm in charge. | I'm the priest here, and I'm in charge. |
420 | 00:23:00,220 | 00:23:01,175 | Forgive me. | Forgive me. |
421 | 00:23:01,740 | 00:23:03,776 | You're supposed to ask forgiveness at the end. | You're supposed to ask forgiveness at the end. |
422 | 00:23:04,300 | 00:23:05,255 | Yeah? To who? | Yeah? To who? |
423 | 00:23:05,420 | 00:23:06,375 | To me. | To me. |
424 | 00:23:06,620 | 00:23:09,214 | To you? And what have I done to you to have to ask for your forgiveness? | To you? And what have I done to you to have to ask for your forgiveness? |
425 | 00:23:09,500 | 00:23:10,819 | Something, there's always something. | Something, there's always something. |
426 | 00:23:11,020 | 00:23:12,214 | Every time you open that big mouth of yours, | Every time you open that big mouth of yours, |
427 | 00:23:12,380 | 00:23:16,055 | you hurt everyone around you. So shut up! | you hurt everyone around you. So shut up! |
428 | 00:23:16,500 | 00:23:19,458 | Okay, okay, chill out. | Okay, okay, chill out. |
429 | 00:23:20,020 | 00:23:24,013 | I'm just sitting here quiet as a mouse having a smoke... | I'm just sitting here quiet as a mouse having a smoke... |
430 | 00:23:24,460 | 00:23:27,418 | Toni, you're not allowed to smoke in the confession booth. | Toni, you're not allowed to smoke in the confession booth. |
431 | 00:23:27,860 | 00:23:30,055 | Fuck that! Where's the sign? There's no sign in here. | Fuck that! Where's the sign? There's no sign in here. |
432 | 00:23:30,380 | 00:23:32,336 | In the House of the Lord, there are no signs. | In the House of the Lord, there are no signs. |
433 | 00:23:32,540 | 00:23:38,331 | The House of the Lord is a sign on the Great Highway of life. | The House of the Lord is a sign on the Great Highway of life. |
434 | 00:23:40,820 | 00:23:44,130 | And so you will now tell me your sins, | And so you will now tell me your sins, |
435 | 00:23:44,300 | 00:23:46,370 | and I'll sit here listening... and laughing. | and I'll sit here listening... and laughing. |
436 | 00:23:47,020 | 00:23:50,808 | Sins? Like what? Like sneaking a smoke? | Sins? Like what? Like sneaking a smoke? |
437 | 00:23:51,100 | 00:23:52,294 | Exactly. | Exactly. |
438 | 00:23:54,060 | 00:23:58,815 | Tell me, have you ever sneaked a smoke anywhere? | Tell me, have you ever sneaked a smoke anywhere? |
439 | 00:23:59,220 | 00:24:00,733 | Me? All the time. | Me? All the time. |
440 | 00:24:03,140 | 00:24:04,937 | You see. Now we're getting somewhere. | You see. Now we're getting somewhere. |
441 | 00:24:06,900 | 00:24:09,255 | And when was that, child of God? | And when was that, child of God? |
442 | 00:24:10,380 | 00:24:11,415 | Now. | Now. |
443 | 00:24:11,900 | 00:24:15,609 | You see? We've taken another step in the right direction. | You see? We've taken another step in the right direction. |
444 | 00:24:15,900 | 00:24:18,812 | And where was that? | And where was that? |
445 | 00:24:19,460 | 00:24:20,449 | Here. | Here. |
446 | 00:24:20,700 | 00:24:23,533 | You see? Here and now. | You see? Here and now. |
447 | 00:24:25,780 | 00:24:28,453 | Toni, are you smoking in the confession booth? | Toni, are you smoking in the confession booth? |
448 | 00:24:28,660 | 00:24:30,298 | Of course I am, but I'm sneaking it. | Of course I am, but I'm sneaking it. |
449 | 00:24:30,500 | 00:24:32,058 | I told you there were a lot of signs around | I told you there were a lot of signs around |
450 | 00:24:32,220 | 00:24:34,051 | and I didn't want to break the rules. | and I didn't want to break the rules. |
451 | 00:24:34,260 | 00:24:37,411 | Toni, this is filling up with smoke. Are you trying to burn this all down? | Toni, this is filling up with smoke. Are you trying to burn this all down? |
452 | 00:24:38,500 | 00:24:40,411 | Fucking door is jammed! | Fucking door is jammed! |
453 | 00:24:40,660 | 00:24:41,934 | If you were on this side, | If you were on this side, |
454 | 00:24:42,140 | 00:24:44,859 | you'd be safe cuz here there's only a little curtain. | you'd be safe cuz here there's only a little curtain. |
455 | 00:24:45,180 | 00:24:47,410 | Did you buy this velvet? It's fucking great! | Did you buy this velvet? It's fucking great! |
456 | 00:24:48,300 | 00:24:49,779 | Toni, there's too much smoke. | Toni, there's too much smoke. |
457 | 00:24:49,940 | 00:24:51,168 | This is on fire. | This is on fire. |
458 | 00:24:52,380 | 00:24:55,816 | Call the fire department, the armed forces, the navy! | Call the fire department, the armed forces, the navy! |
459 | 00:24:56,140 | 00:24:57,653 | I can't, there's no coverage here. | I can't, there's no coverage here. |
460 | 00:24:58,180 | 00:24:59,772 | You know what these convents are like. | You know what these convents are like. |
461 | 00:24:59,940 | 00:25:01,737 | Stone on stone, and then things like this happen. | Stone on stone, and then things like this happen. |
462 | 00:25:01,980 | 00:25:02,935 | And wouldn't you know it, | And wouldn't you know it, |
463 | 00:25:03,100 | 00:25:05,170 | I have a third degeneration cell phone. | I have a third degeneration cell phone. |
464 | 00:25:05,380 | 00:25:06,733 | Don't go and think it's just some talkie-walker with an antenna. | Don't go and think it's just some talkie-walker with an antenna. |
465 | 00:25:06,940 | 00:25:09,408 | Go, go, save yourself | Go, go, save yourself |
466 | 00:25:09,580 | 00:25:11,650 | and tell the world I died a hero's death! | and tell the world I died a hero's death! |
467 | 00:25:12,460 | 00:25:14,894 | That's all, folks! | That's all, folks! |
468 | 00:25:17,820 | 00:25:19,776 | No, wait, wait, I've changed my mind. | No, wait, wait, I've changed my mind. |
469 | 00:25:19,940 | 00:25:23,774 | Save me before I get toasted here alive. | Save me before I get toasted here alive. |
470 | 00:25:24,220 | 00:25:25,972 | Zeze, you know what? | Zeze, you know what? |
471 | 00:25:26,140 | 00:25:31,533 | If you told me what my father said, God might give you a reward. | If you told me what my father said, God might give you a reward. |
472 | 00:25:31,740 | 00:25:33,571 | I'll tell you everything, I'll tell you everything. | I'll tell you everything, I'll tell you everything. |
473 | 00:25:33,740 | 00:25:34,695 | Cross your heart, hope... | Cross your heart, hope... |
474 | 00:25:34,860 | 00:25:36,054 | I'll stick a fucking needle up my ass! | I'll stick a fucking needle up my ass! |
475 | 00:25:36,620 | 00:25:37,575 | Your ass or your eye? | Your ass or your eye? |
476 | 00:25:37,980 | 00:25:38,935 | My... | My... |
477 | 00:25:39,300 | 00:25:40,255 | Your what? | Your what? |
478 | 00:25:40,420 | 00:25:41,375 | Both. | Both. |
479 | 00:25:48,580 | 00:25:51,652 | From the outside, this opens really easily. | From the outside, this opens really easily. |
480 | 00:25:51,980 | 00:25:53,572 | It must be the hinges. | It must be the hinges. |
481 | 00:25:53,780 | 00:25:58,854 | Have you put any lube spray on the hinges recently? | Have you put any lube spray on the hinges recently? |
482 | 00:26:03,620 | 00:26:04,939 | You saved me... | You saved me... |
483 | 00:26:05,460 | 00:26:08,497 | Thank you, Lord, thank you, amen... | Thank you, Lord, thank you, amen... |
484 | 00:26:08,660 | 00:26:10,457 | Let me tell ya amen, fella! | Let me tell ya amen, fella! |
485 | 00:26:10,660 | 00:26:13,857 | Come on, tell me what my father said. | Come on, tell me what my father said. |
486 | 00:26:14,460 | 00:26:17,497 | I'll tell you. Jesus fucking Christ will I ever tell you! | I'll tell you. Jesus fucking Christ will I ever tell you! |
487 | 00:26:27,700 | 00:26:32,728 | THREE MONTHS EARLIER, MORE OR LESS BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER | THREE MONTHS EARLIER, MORE OR LESS BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER |
488 | 00:26:50,700 | 00:26:52,816 | Steaky, Steaky, have you got the meat ready for the stew yet? | Steaky, Steaky, have you got the meat ready for the stew yet? |
489 | 00:26:53,020 | 00:26:55,409 | Everyone's so hungry they're about to start a riot. | Everyone's so hungry they're about to start a riot. |
490 | 00:26:57,580 | 00:26:58,774 | It's coming. | It's coming. |
491 | 00:27:14,740 | 00:27:18,938 | SINCE TRADITION RULES, NO SAUSAGE STEW WITHOUT BEANS | SINCE TRADITION RULES, NO SAUSAGE STEW WITHOUT BEANS |
492 | 00:27:42,860 | 00:27:44,293 | What the fuck is going on? | What the fuck is going on? |
493 | 00:27:44,460 | 00:27:46,132 | Can't anyone take a crap in peace around here? | Can't anyone take a crap in peace around here? |
494 | 00:27:46,300 | 00:27:49,610 | Cookie, Cookie, everyone's still waiting for the stew. | Cookie, Cookie, everyone's still waiting for the stew. |
495 | 00:27:49,820 | 00:27:51,094 | What's the problem? I've got the beans already. | What's the problem? I've got the beans already. |
496 | 00:27:51,300 | 00:27:52,255 | Are they good? | Are they good? |
497 | 00:27:52,420 | 00:27:53,375 | Fucking delicious! | Fucking delicious! |
498 | 00:27:53,540 | 00:27:54,768 | I tried them last night at dinner | I tried them last night at dinner |
499 | 00:27:55,020 | 00:27:56,692 | and the only time I left the bathroom was to have a smoke. | and the only time I left the bathroom was to have a smoke. |
500 | 00:27:56,900 | 00:27:58,015 | How great! | How great! |
501 | 00:28:12,580 | 00:28:14,810 | Hey there, Chump, that's quite a stump! | Hey there, Chump, that's quite a stump! |
502 | 00:28:23,540 | 00:28:25,292 | Agent Chump, what a nasty bump. | Agent Chump, what a nasty bump. |
503 | 00:28:25,540 | 00:28:27,974 | We're gonna have to cut off traffic in the neighborhood, no? | We're gonna have to cut off traffic in the neighborhood, no? |
504 | 00:28:28,140 | 00:28:29,175 | Otherwise, there won't be any stew. | Otherwise, there won't be any stew. |
505 | 00:28:36,100 | 00:28:37,772 | Damn, I almost cut off my mustache! | Damn, I almost cut off my mustache! |
506 | 00:28:38,100 | 00:28:39,374 | Yes, my love? | Yes, my love? |
507 | 00:28:39,820 | 00:28:41,890 | Some people have come to talk to you. | Some people have come to talk to you. |
508 | 00:28:42,180 | 00:28:43,772 | Tell them I've already paid, sweetie. | Tell them I've already paid, sweetie. |
509 | 00:28:44,100 | 00:28:46,295 | Tell them yourself, I ain't your servant. | Tell them yourself, I ain't your servant. |
510 | 00:28:46,500 | 00:28:48,650 | Or did you think this was the Ritz Hotel? | Or did you think this was the Ritz Hotel? |
511 | 00:28:49,260 | 00:28:52,252 | No my love, it was just a little favor I was asking you for. | No my love, it was just a little favor I was asking you for. |
512 | 00:28:52,500 | 00:28:54,491 | Little favor? If you want favors, you'll have to pay for them. | Little favor? If you want favors, you'll have to pay for them. |
513 | 00:28:54,780 | 00:28:57,055 | And you'll owe me some if you dare go out partying | And you'll owe me some if you dare go out partying |
514 | 00:28:57,260 | 00:28:58,534 | without doing the dishes first. | without doing the dishes first. |
515 | 00:28:59,060 | 00:29:02,177 | Don't worry, my darling. I still haven't finished yet. | Don't worry, my darling. I still haven't finished yet. |
516 | 00:29:02,340 | 00:29:05,855 | Shut up and don't make any noise. I'm going to do my legs! | Shut up and don't make any noise. I'm going to do my legs! |
517 | 00:29:10,420 | 00:29:11,569 | Get out of here, go play in the pantry | Get out of here, go play in the pantry |
518 | 00:29:11,820 | 00:29:14,380 | where there's more room! | where there's more room! |
519 | 00:29:16,500 | 00:29:18,809 | So, what the hell is going on with you all, you bagpipe band? | So, what the hell is going on with you all, you bagpipe band? |
520 | 00:29:19,460 | 00:29:24,614 | The question is this, Zeze: We are here for the stew. | The question is this, Zeze: We are here for the stew. |
521 | 00:29:25,260 | 00:29:28,411 | We need your magic touch in the kitchen. | We need your magic touch in the kitchen. |
522 | 00:29:29,300 | 00:29:31,734 | No way! Eat salad then! | No way! Eat salad then! |
523 | 00:29:32,140 | 00:29:33,368 | This year, I'm not setting foot in there. | This year, I'm not setting foot in there. |
524 | 00:29:33,860 | 00:29:36,215 | But Zeze, without you, the stew isn't the same. | But Zeze, without you, the stew isn't the same. |
525 | 00:29:36,980 | 00:29:38,698 | Last year they didn't let me sing the fado. | Last year they didn't let me sing the fado. |
526 | 00:29:38,900 | 00:29:40,219 | So then if I'm not fit for a stew | So then if I'm not fit for a stew |
527 | 00:29:40,420 | 00:29:43,139 | that demands my seasoned-stew presence. | that demands my seasoned-stew presence. |
528 | 00:29:47,700 | 00:29:48,655 | No! | No! |
529 | 00:29:49,700 | 00:29:53,215 | But Zeze, the mayor has set up some speakers | But Zeze, the mayor has set up some speakers |
530 | 00:29:53,460 | 00:29:55,928 | so you can sing the fado. | so you can sing the fado. |
531 | 00:29:56,100 | 00:29:58,216 | And boy did it ever cost a fortune! | And boy did it ever cost a fortune! |
532 | 00:29:58,420 | 00:29:59,375 | Does it work? | Does it work? |
533 | 00:29:59,580 | 00:30:01,411 | Of course it does. They are Benito Camelas' speakers. | Of course it does. They are Benito Camelas' speakers. |
534 | 00:30:01,740 | 00:30:02,695 | Who? The fado singer? | Who? The fado singer? |
535 | 00:30:02,860 | 00:30:03,815 | No, his brother. | No, his brother. |
536 | 00:30:03,980 | 00:30:04,935 | The drywaller? | The drywaller? |
537 | 00:30:05,100 | 00:30:06,055 | That's the one, him. | That's the one, him. |
538 | 00:30:06,260 | 00:30:07,249 | What about musicians? | What about musicians? |
539 | 00:30:07,540 | 00:30:10,213 | One-handed Manolo is on the guitar, | One-handed Manolo is on the guitar, |
540 | 00:30:10,420 | 00:30:12,650 | and Pepe the Hook is on the tambourine. | and Pepe the Hook is on the tambourine. |
541 | 00:30:21,700 | 00:30:27,935 | Damn, it's impossible to say no with those artists! | Damn, it's impossible to say no with those artists! |
542 | 00:30:28,380 | 00:30:29,733 | What about the artist's fee? | What about the artist's fee? |
543 | 00:30:32,140 | 00:30:34,700 | The cash, the dough, | The cash, the dough, |
544 | 00:30:34,900 | 00:30:38,609 | what I charge for artistic expenditure. | what I charge for artistic expenditure. |
545 | 00:30:40,020 | 00:30:45,299 | Zeze, the money is all meant to go to help the retarded. | Zeze, the money is all meant to go to help the retarded. |
546 | 00:30:45,740 | 00:30:47,696 | The retards? Fuck that! | The retards? Fuck that! |
547 | 00:30:47,900 | 00:30:48,855 | It's true. | It's true. |
548 | 00:30:49,020 | 00:30:50,499 | No. - Yes. | No. - Yes. |
549 | 00:30:52,220 | 00:30:56,816 | Fine, then I'll lend my talent to the retards. | Fine, then I'll lend my talent to the retards. |
550 | 00:30:57,460 | 00:30:59,416 | You'll have to give me a case of beer | You'll have to give me a case of beer |
551 | 00:30:59,740 | 00:31:02,573 | so my throat is suitably tuned, mind you. | so my throat is suitably tuned, mind you. |
552 | 00:31:02,820 | 00:31:05,812 | Great throat, deep throat Zeze. The greatest! | Great throat, deep throat Zeze. The greatest! |
553 | 00:31:06,060 | 00:31:09,018 | Great it is, especially when I get done doing the dishes. | Great it is, especially when I get done doing the dishes. |
554 | 00:31:09,220 | 00:31:11,256 | Otherwise, this isn't going anywhere. | Otherwise, this isn't going anywhere. |
555 | 00:31:12,820 | 00:31:15,254 | Sweetie pie, but here I am with the scrubber in hand | Sweetie pie, but here I am with the scrubber in hand |
556 | 00:31:15,420 | 00:31:16,819 | and the Palmolive on my nails. | and the Palmolive on my nails. |
557 | 00:31:18,020 | 00:31:21,092 | When I get a hold of her, she's really going to get it. | When I get a hold of her, she's really going to get it. |
558 | 00:31:21,340 | 00:31:22,739 | I'm going to bash her face in so hard, | I'm going to bash her face in so hard, |
559 | 00:31:22,940 | 00:31:24,373 | the only thing she'll have left to cry with is her teeth. | the only thing she'll have left to cry with is her teeth. |
560 | 00:31:24,540 | 00:31:25,689 | I heard that, Zeze. | I heard that, Zeze. |
561 | 00:31:26,940 | 00:31:28,578 | Just kidding, love. | Just kidding, love. |
562 | 00:31:30,100 | 00:31:36,016 | I was a little blonde bugger And looked like a studder | I was a little blonde bugger And looked like a studder |
563 | 00:31:37,340 | 00:31:40,935 | And my mother would say She'd sell me one day | And my mother would say She'd sell me one day |
564 | 00:31:41,500 | 00:31:43,013 | Just like she did to my brother | Just like she did to my brother |
565 | 00:31:44,340 | 00:31:50,654 | I was the loveliest little cherry Ever born on the Tagus ferry | I was the loveliest little cherry Ever born on the Tagus ferry |
566 | 00:31:51,100 | 00:31:53,568 | Never was there another like me | Never was there another like me |
567 | 00:31:53,860 | 00:31:57,535 | So lovely was I That the mirror would cry | So lovely was I That the mirror would cry |
568 | 00:31:58,780 | 00:32:04,889 | I was also a dear A funny little bat | I was also a dear A funny little bat |
569 | 00:32:05,260 | 00:32:09,458 | When my father saw me He ran away fast | When my father saw me He ran away fast |
570 | 00:32:09,820 | 00:32:12,288 | And left me in the square Just like that | And left me in the square Just like that |
571 | 00:32:13,300 | 00:32:16,417 | My mother was so upset | My mother was so upset |
572 | 00:32:16,780 | 00:32:19,738 | One day she stopped talking to me In a fit | One day she stopped talking to me In a fit |
573 | 00:32:19,940 | 00:32:23,979 | Running away from me in the night As though I were such a fright | Running away from me in the night As though I were such a fright |
574 | 00:32:24,300 | 00:32:26,291 | And really I couldn't give a shit | And really I couldn't give a shit |
575 | 00:32:27,740 | 00:32:33,337 | I was born in this neighborhood Noble neighborhood of Lisbon | I was born in this neighborhood Noble neighborhood of Lisbon |
576 | 00:32:34,060 | 00:32:36,415 | I'm afraid of no one | I'm afraid of no one |
577 | 00:32:36,820 | 00:32:40,210 | I start kicking shit And I roast them right on the spit | I start kicking shit And I roast them right on the spit |
578 | 00:32:41,540 | 00:32:44,771 | You sing badly and I don't like it | You sing badly and I don't like it |
579 | 00:32:45,020 | 00:32:47,978 | You got any clothes to iron | You got any clothes to iron |
580 | 00:32:48,340 | 00:32:52,652 | Cut out the bullshit and the wine I want everything clean and fine | Cut out the bullshit and the wine I want everything clean and fine |
581 | 00:32:52,940 | 00:32:55,659 | Otherwise I'll beat you into tomorrow. | Otherwise I'll beat you into tomorrow. |
582 | 00:32:55,980 | 00:33:02,249 | Zeze, you're screwed there buddy Take it from me, old Toni | Zeze, you're screwed there buddy Take it from me, old Toni |
583 | 00:33:02,860 | 00:33:06,978 | You must be embarrassed To take orders from your sweetie | You must be embarrassed To take orders from your sweetie |
584 | 00:33:07,220 | 00:33:09,415 | As though you were just a pussy. | As though you were just a pussy. |
585 | 00:33:10,300 | 00:33:15,932 | So let me tellya, fella! I'm gonna beat your ass | So let me tellya, fella! I'm gonna beat your ass |
586 | 00:33:17,020 | 00:33:21,377 | And you my darling chou-chou Don't cramp my style | And you my darling chou-chou Don't cramp my style |
587 | 00:33:21,620 | 00:33:23,497 | And let me go make the stew. | And let me go make the stew. |
588 | 00:33:24,860 | 00:33:30,810 | I'm not your fella, I'm Toni - And me, my name is Zeze | I'm not your fella, I'm Toni - And me, my name is Zeze |
589 | 00:33:31,460 | 00:33:35,738 | This neighborhood is ours And for it we suffer | This neighborhood is ours And for it we suffer |
590 | 00:33:35,980 | 00:33:38,289 | My foot's fucked up anyway... | My foot's fucked up anyway... |
591 | 00:33:38,900 | 00:33:45,135 | We're two good buddies What a friendship we have | We're two good buddies What a friendship we have |
592 | 00:33:45,780 | 00:33:50,217 | Let a brick fall out of the sky And bash in our heads | Let a brick fall out of the sky And bash in our heads |
593 | 00:33:50,580 | 00:33:52,411 | If it turns out a lie | If it turns out a lie |
594 | 00:33:53,380 | 00:33:57,339 | Let a brick fall out of the sky And bash in our heads | Let a brick fall out of the sky And bash in our heads |
595 | 00:33:57,540 | 00:33:59,417 | If it turns out a lie | If it turns out a lie |
596 | 00:34:04,060 | 00:34:05,857 | Thank you very much, | Thank you very much, |
597 | 00:34:06,020 | 00:34:08,056 | I'd like to thank my beloved wife Noquinhas | I'd like to thank my beloved wife Noquinhas |
598 | 00:34:08,260 | 00:34:09,488 | who could not come to see me... | who could not come to see me... |
599 | 00:34:10,140 | 00:34:14,452 | Shut the hell up, you too... goofball! | Shut the hell up, you too... goofball! |
600 | 00:35:03,780 | 00:35:05,008 | I'm thirsty... | I'm thirsty... |
601 | 00:35:06,220 | 00:35:08,609 | Little fertile reptile! | Little fertile reptile! |
602 | 00:35:09,340 | 00:35:10,375 | Wine! | Wine! |
603 | 00:35:11,620 | 00:35:15,249 | What have you done to deserve a sip of bad wine | What have you done to deserve a sip of bad wine |
604 | 00:35:15,620 | 00:35:18,930 | from this brother of yours in the leather pants? | from this brother of yours in the leather pants? |
605 | 00:35:20,900 | 00:35:25,178 | Holy shit! Are those real leather? In this heat? | Holy shit! Are those real leather? In this heat? |
606 | 00:35:26,380 | 00:35:27,699 | Gimme wine, goddammit! | Gimme wine, goddammit! |
607 | 00:35:28,500 | 00:35:33,096 | You don't get it. I could bathe you with cactus nectar. | You don't get it. I could bathe you with cactus nectar. |
608 | 00:35:33,500 | 00:35:38,449 | I could fill your throat with fresh camel's milk. | I could fill your throat with fresh camel's milk. |
609 | 00:35:39,300 | 00:35:41,814 | I could even drown you in tea made by the baboons. | I could even drown you in tea made by the baboons. |
610 | 00:35:42,180 | 00:35:43,659 | But you don't deserve it. | But you don't deserve it. |
611 | 00:35:44,260 | 00:35:47,491 | Forget about camel tea. Fuck the bamboozles! | Forget about camel tea. Fuck the bamboozles! |
612 | 00:35:48,540 | 00:35:52,328 | All I want is wine. Even if it comes out of a box. | All I want is wine. Even if it comes out of a box. |
613 | 00:35:53,900 | 00:35:56,460 | Drink sand, you crouching scorpion. | Drink sand, you crouching scorpion. |
614 | 00:35:56,940 | 00:36:00,250 | You haven't moved a finger to help your fellow man. | You haven't moved a finger to help your fellow man. |
615 | 00:36:00,460 | 00:36:03,054 | You are the jealous Comanche | You are the jealous Comanche |
616 | 00:36:03,380 | 00:36:05,371 | who hacks apart the father with a machete. | who hacks apart the father with a machete. |
617 | 00:36:05,580 | 00:36:07,491 | Comanche? But in the army | Comanche? But in the army |
618 | 00:36:07,660 | 00:36:09,457 | I never even made it to quartermaster corporal. | I never even made it to quartermaster corporal. |
619 | 00:36:10,980 | 00:36:12,379 | Who are you, pink floyd? | Who are you, pink floyd? |
620 | 00:36:12,820 | 00:36:17,735 | Don't you recognize me, moustache man? I'm Jimmy Morrison. | Don't you recognize me, moustache man? I'm Jimmy Morrison. |
621 | 00:36:18,460 | 00:36:19,415 | Jimmy? | Jimmy? |
622 | 00:36:20,700 | 00:36:21,769 | Morrison. | Morrison. |
623 | 00:36:23,380 | 00:36:25,689 | I've wanted to ask you something for a long time now. | I've wanted to ask you something for a long time now. |
624 | 00:36:26,020 | 00:36:28,898 | I know. It's what everyone wants to know. | I know. It's what everyone wants to know. |
625 | 00:36:29,140 | 00:36:33,179 | What was it like with all those babes after the concerts? | What was it like with all those babes after the concerts? |
626 | 00:36:33,460 | 00:36:37,658 | Them and me motherfucking and all night long. | Them and me motherfucking and all night long. |
627 | 00:36:39,540 | 00:36:42,930 | No no, I want to know if you happen to have a box of wine. | No no, I want to know if you happen to have a box of wine. |
628 | 00:36:43,100 | 00:36:46,251 | Leave me alone, I'm tempted to just dump you | Leave me alone, I'm tempted to just dump you |
629 | 00:36:46,420 | 00:36:48,729 | and let the vultures pick away at ya. | and let the vultures pick away at ya. |
630 | 00:36:49,140 | 00:36:51,495 | Them big old birds? Gimme a fucking break! | Them big old birds? Gimme a fucking break! |
631 | 00:36:51,700 | 00:36:55,295 | If you bring me a casserole and two garlic cloves, | If you bring me a casserole and two garlic cloves, |
632 | 00:36:55,500 | 00:36:58,253 | I'll make you a big ole kebab right now. | I'll make you a big ole kebab right now. |
633 | 00:36:58,420 | 00:37:00,058 | But first, gimme wine, | But first, gimme wine, |
634 | 00:37:00,460 | 00:37:01,495 | wine! | wine! |
635 | 00:37:02,420 | 00:37:03,375 | Wine! | Wine! |
636 | 00:37:03,540 | 00:37:04,939 | No, you annoying twit! | No, you annoying twit! |
637 | 00:37:05,140 | 00:37:07,131 | You're gonna stay there | You're gonna stay there |
638 | 00:37:07,300 | 00:37:08,733 | with your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth. | with your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth. |
639 | 00:37:08,940 | 00:37:12,728 | Help others to help you, and you'll do yourself a favor. | Help others to help you, and you'll do yourself a favor. |
640 | 00:37:13,020 | 00:37:14,339 | Don't even think about drinking this wine, | Don't even think about drinking this wine, |
641 | 00:37:14,540 | 00:37:17,418 | it's mine and there's little left; I'm so thirsty I can't see straight. | it's mine and there's little left; I'm so thirsty I can't see straight. |
642 | 00:37:26,140 | 00:37:27,209 | Wine! | Wine! |
643 | 00:37:27,540 | 00:37:30,452 | Animal, you almost look like you just came out of the desert! | Animal, you almost look like you just came out of the desert! |
644 | 00:37:32,500 | 00:37:34,695 | Toni, I, have had a vision. | Toni, I, have had a vision. |
645 | 00:37:34,860 | 00:37:36,054 | With the first drink? Gimme a fucking break! | With the first drink? Gimme a fucking break! |
646 | 00:37:36,220 | 00:37:38,654 | That usually happens to me on the fifth... The fifth box. | That usually happens to me on the fifth... The fifth box. |
647 | 00:37:40,420 | 00:37:41,694 | And it was there. | And it was there. |
648 | 00:37:41,860 | 00:37:43,009 | That was the spot? | That was the spot? |
649 | 00:37:43,620 | 00:37:45,690 | No Toni, it's just a figure of speech. | No Toni, it's just a figure of speech. |
650 | 00:37:45,860 | 00:37:47,339 | Goddammit, so then why don't you tell me everything? | Goddammit, so then why don't you tell me everything? |
651 | 00:37:47,500 | 00:37:50,492 | And that was when I realized | And that was when I realized |
652 | 00:37:50,740 | 00:37:53,777 | that I had to travel the world to help people, all people, | that I had to travel the world to help people, all people, |
653 | 00:37:53,940 | 00:37:54,895 | and the retards. | and the retards. |
654 | 00:37:55,060 | 00:37:56,413 | So like, helping them cross at crosswalks? | So like, helping them cross at crosswalks? |
655 | 00:37:56,820 | 00:37:58,253 | Dammit Toni, don't be stubborn! | Dammit Toni, don't be stubborn! |
656 | 00:37:58,740 | 00:38:01,538 | For retards, the entire world is a crosswalk. | For retards, the entire world is a crosswalk. |
657 | 00:38:01,740 | 00:38:03,219 | Now that there are traffic lights, there's no problem right? | Now that there are traffic lights, there's no problem right? |
658 | 00:38:03,380 | 00:38:04,733 | That way, the cars don't get 'em... | That way, the cars don't get 'em... |
659 | 00:38:04,900 | 00:38:06,731 | Of course, that's the problem. | Of course, that's the problem. |
660 | 00:38:06,900 | 00:38:09,130 | The retards are sick of getting run over | The retards are sick of getting run over |
661 | 00:38:09,300 | 00:38:14,135 | and no one lifts even a finger to help them. | and no one lifts even a finger to help them. |
662 | 00:38:14,540 | 00:38:16,531 | You know what this world needs? | You know what this world needs? |
663 | 00:38:16,700 | 00:38:22,332 | Sodilaritity, Solitarity, Solitarieaty. | Sodilaritity, Solitarity, Solitarieaty. |
664 | 00:38:22,700 | 00:38:25,931 | Right, just three things. | Right, just three things. |
665 | 00:38:26,340 | 00:38:27,295 | Zeze. | Zeze. |
666 | 00:38:27,620 | 00:38:30,532 | The truth is with this kind of people who help others, | The truth is with this kind of people who help others, |
667 | 00:38:31,140 | 00:38:36,612 | I'd like to be like those who help save whales, and penguins, | I'd like to be like those who help save whales, and penguins, |
668 | 00:38:37,100 | 00:38:38,215 | the ones from Green Piss. | the ones from Green Piss. |
669 | 00:38:38,460 | 00:38:40,610 | What exactly and who the fuck is Green Piss? | What exactly and who the fuck is Green Piss? |
670 | 00:38:40,820 | 00:38:43,937 | Zeze, Green Piss is a group led by a hippy and his wife, | Zeze, Green Piss is a group led by a hippy and his wife, |
671 | 00:38:44,140 | 00:38:47,291 | who is totally insane and goes around on a boat. | who is totally insane and goes around on a boat. |
672 | 00:38:47,460 | 00:38:48,449 | And they usually go to hang out at the North Pole. | And they usually go to hang out at the North Pole. |
673 | 00:38:48,620 | 00:38:51,259 | A hippy in the North Pole? How cool! | A hippy in the North Pole? How cool! |
674 | 00:38:51,420 | 00:38:52,648 | But, what the hell is a hippy doing in the North Pole? | But, what the hell is a hippy doing in the North Pole? |
675 | 00:38:52,820 | 00:38:54,173 | He goes around saving the fucking little critters | He goes around saving the fucking little critters |
676 | 00:38:54,380 | 00:38:55,972 | half frozen there on the tundra, | half frozen there on the tundra, |
677 | 00:38:56,140 | 00:38:57,698 | waiting for the goddamn hippy to come and save them, right? | waiting for the goddamn hippy to come and save them, right? |
678 | 00:38:57,900 | 00:39:02,576 | You know how many seals are killed every year to make codfish liver oil | You know how many seals are killed every year to make codfish liver oil |
679 | 00:39:02,780 | 00:39:05,010 | and grease for shoe polish? | and grease for shoe polish? |
680 | 00:39:05,220 | 00:39:06,175 | Wait, wait. | Wait, wait. |
681 | 00:39:06,340 | 00:39:08,058 | What is it that they do, kill them or save them? | What is it that they do, kill them or save them? |
682 | 00:39:08,220 | 00:39:10,370 | I think there's something here I don't get. | I think there's something here I don't get. |
683 | 00:39:10,740 | 00:39:13,049 | Zeze, the hunters kill them, | Zeze, the hunters kill them, |
684 | 00:39:13,220 | 00:39:15,336 | and the ones from Green Piss save them, goddammit. | and the ones from Green Piss save them, goddammit. |
685 | 00:39:16,180 | 00:39:18,740 | They save them and then they kill them? | They save them and then they kill them? |
686 | 00:39:18,900 | 00:39:19,889 | Goddammit, that's fucking sweet! | Goddammit, that's fucking sweet! |
687 | 00:39:20,100 | 00:39:21,453 | The thing is, they're frozen. | The thing is, they're frozen. |
688 | 00:39:21,660 | 00:39:23,730 | Haven't you ever watched the Recovery Channel? | Haven't you ever watched the Recovery Channel? |
689 | 00:39:24,220 | 00:39:27,098 | The channel with all them fucking critters jumping and humping | The channel with all them fucking critters jumping and humping |
690 | 00:39:27,260 | 00:39:28,215 | all over the place? | all over the place? |
691 | 00:39:28,380 | 00:39:29,335 | No. | No. |
692 | 00:39:29,500 | 00:39:30,455 | If you did, | If you did, |
693 | 00:39:30,940 | 00:39:32,737 | you'd realize a lot of critters are good for absolutely nothing. | you'd realize a lot of critters are good for absolutely nothing. |
694 | 00:39:33,140 | 00:39:34,619 | So then, what do they eat? | So then, what do they eat? |
695 | 00:39:35,060 | 00:39:36,652 | Hay, mosquitos... | Hay, mosquitos... |
696 | 00:39:37,140 | 00:39:39,574 | Fucking hippies, they're worse than pigs. | Fucking hippies, they're worse than pigs. |
697 | 00:39:39,820 | 00:39:40,775 | They'll eat anything. | They'll eat anything. |
698 | 00:39:40,940 | 00:39:42,896 | Dammit Zeze, I'm talking about the seals. | Dammit Zeze, I'm talking about the seals. |
699 | 00:39:43,100 | 00:39:45,136 | Hippies are vegetarians, aren't they? | Hippies are vegetarians, aren't they? |
700 | 00:39:45,340 | 00:39:48,013 | They only eat roots, birdseed, and weird shit like that. | They only eat roots, birdseed, and weird shit like that. |
701 | 00:39:48,180 | 00:39:51,331 | They're like fucking birds. It's like a kind of religion. | They're like fucking birds. It's like a kind of religion. |
702 | 00:39:51,500 | 00:39:53,297 | They can't eat cadavers. | They can't eat cadavers. |
703 | 00:39:53,460 | 00:39:55,337 | Dammit, I can't eat cadavers either. | Dammit, I can't eat cadavers either. |
704 | 00:39:55,500 | 00:39:57,218 | No? And what are beef sandwiches then? | No? And what are beef sandwiches then? |
705 | 00:39:58,460 | 00:39:59,415 | Beef sandwiches. | Beef sandwiches. |
706 | 00:39:59,580 | 00:40:02,413 | And when you eat beef, is the beef not dead previously? | And when you eat beef, is the beef not dead previously? |
707 | 00:40:02,860 | 00:40:05,249 | Gimme a break, I'm going to eat live beef, | Gimme a break, I'm going to eat live beef, |
708 | 00:40:05,500 | 00:40:06,455 | come on... | come on... |
709 | 00:40:07,180 | 00:40:09,011 | Zeze, I'm a normal guy, | Zeze, I'm a normal guy, |
710 | 00:40:09,220 | 00:40:11,893 | I'm not interested in how the beef makes it to the plate. | I'm not interested in how the beef makes it to the plate. |
711 | 00:40:12,060 | 00:40:15,575 | Look, I could even sign up for the Green Piss thing, | Look, I could even sign up for the Green Piss thing, |
712 | 00:40:15,780 | 00:40:18,214 | but only if they threw the fucking hippies overboard | but only if they threw the fucking hippies overboard |
713 | 00:40:18,420 | 00:40:20,172 | and disinfected the boat. | and disinfected the boat. |
714 | 00:40:20,420 | 00:40:21,819 | Fucking stinky hippie into the water! | Fucking stinky hippie into the water! |
715 | 00:40:22,260 | 00:40:24,376 | For your information, I'm not in it for the seals. | For your information, I'm not in it for the seals. |
716 | 00:40:24,580 | 00:40:25,535 | Is that right? | Is that right? |
717 | 00:40:25,700 | 00:40:26,735 | No, fuck the goddamn seals! | No, fuck the goddamn seals! |
718 | 00:40:26,900 | 00:40:27,889 | That's it. That's it. | That's it. That's it. |
719 | 00:40:28,220 | 00:40:32,179 | I'm in it to put an end to all this oil company bullshit | I'm in it to put an end to all this oil company bullshit |
720 | 00:40:32,380 | 00:40:34,814 | that is spilling diesel and tar into the ocean. | that is spilling diesel and tar into the ocean. |
721 | 00:40:35,020 | 00:40:37,454 | Goddamn right! With gas at the price that it is, | Goddamn right! With gas at the price that it is, |
722 | 00:40:37,660 | 00:40:40,128 | and these dudes giving sardines drinks, right? | and these dudes giving sardines drinks, right? |
723 | 00:40:42,700 | 00:40:46,170 | Have you hear the phrase: Shave the whale, fuck the planet? | Have you hear the phrase: Shave the whale, fuck the planet? |
724 | 00:40:46,420 | 00:40:48,615 | Zeze, when I saw that movie, | Zeze, when I saw that movie, |
725 | 00:40:49,060 | 00:40:52,052 | I cried so much at that part where that guy goes off to war | I cried so much at that part where that guy goes off to war |
726 | 00:40:52,260 | 00:40:54,296 | and then comes back all fucked up. | and then comes back all fucked up. |
727 | 00:40:54,580 | 00:40:58,937 | Movie, my ass! We're talking About Green Piss and diesel. | Movie, my ass! We're talking About Green Piss and diesel. |
728 | 00:41:01,180 | 00:41:04,217 | Zeze, speaking about movies about retards, | Zeze, speaking about movies about retards, |
729 | 00:41:04,460 | 00:41:07,258 | what part of the movie is my father in? | what part of the movie is my father in? |
730 | 00:41:07,580 | 00:41:09,059 | Much later. | Much later. |
731 | 00:41:09,540 | 00:41:10,495 | After intermission? | After intermission? |
732 | 00:41:10,820 | 00:41:12,811 | No, much later. | No, much later. |
733 | 00:41:17,500 | 00:41:18,455 | Toni! | Toni! |
734 | 00:41:22,740 | 00:41:25,049 | ONE MONTH EARLIER | ONE MONTH EARLIER |
735 | 00:41:26,740 | 00:41:28,651 | I prefer those westerns | I prefer those westerns |
736 | 00:41:28,860 | 00:41:30,930 | where the cowboys kill off all the Indians. | where the cowboys kill off all the Indians. |
737 | 00:41:31,420 | 00:41:34,139 | The one I liked was "The Last Orangutan in Paris". | The one I liked was "The Last Orangutan in Paris". |
738 | 00:41:37,860 | 00:41:39,259 | Awesome. | Awesome. |
739 | 00:41:39,540 | 00:41:41,496 | Totally, who was in it? | Totally, who was in it? |
740 | 00:41:41,940 | 00:41:44,249 | Tom Cruise and his wife, | Tom Cruise and his wife, |
741 | 00:41:44,500 | 00:41:46,218 | that mulatta who's hotter than a Christmas turkey. | that mulatta who's hotter than a Christmas turkey. |
742 | 00:41:46,380 | 00:41:47,369 | Jenny Blowlozez! | Jenny Blowlozez! |
743 | 00:41:47,620 | 00:41:48,575 | Where? Where? | Where? Where? |
744 | 00:41:48,820 | 00:41:50,014 | In the movie, dammit. | In the movie, dammit. |
745 | 00:41:52,940 | 00:41:55,500 | Look man, the cowboy movie of all cowboy movies, | Look man, the cowboy movie of all cowboy movies, |
746 | 00:41:55,700 | 00:41:59,409 | the king of them all, "The Good, the Bad and the Snugly", | the king of them all, "The Good, the Bad and the Snugly", |
747 | 00:42:07,140 | 00:42:09,700 | with Clinton Eastwood as the good guy, | with Clinton Eastwood as the good guy, |
748 | 00:42:11,460 | 00:42:14,179 | Omar Sheriff as the Sherrif, evil as a cobra... | Omar Sheriff as the Sherrif, evil as a cobra... |
749 | 00:42:14,380 | 00:42:16,610 | That guy is like a fucking rattlesnake. | That guy is like a fucking rattlesnake. |
750 | 00:42:17,660 | 00:42:18,934 | And in the role of the "Snugly", | And in the role of the "Snugly", |
751 | 00:42:19,180 | 00:42:22,490 | that great distributor of open-handed wallops, | that great distributor of open-handed wallops, |
752 | 00:42:22,700 | 00:42:24,338 | none other than Brute Spencer. | none other than Brute Spencer. |
753 | 00:42:24,500 | 00:42:26,058 | Fuck yeah, Brute Spencer, damn. | Fuck yeah, Brute Spencer, damn. |
754 | 00:42:26,220 | 00:42:31,852 | For me, Bruce Ling kicked away more ass than Brute Spencer. | For me, Bruce Ling kicked away more ass than Brute Spencer. |
755 | 00:42:32,020 | 00:42:35,092 | Now we're talking about the elite, the gods. | Now we're talking about the elite, the gods. |
756 | 00:42:35,300 | 00:42:39,771 | You can't put Bruce Ling and Brute Spencer in the same sack. | You can't put Bruce Ling and Brute Spencer in the same sack. |
757 | 00:42:39,940 | 00:42:41,453 | You can't put them in the same sack cause they won't fit, right. | You can't put them in the same sack cause they won't fit, right. |
758 | 00:42:41,620 | 00:42:42,609 | Of course. | Of course. |
759 | 00:42:42,860 | 00:42:44,851 | Bruce Ling and his immortal classics, | Bruce Ling and his immortal classics, |
760 | 00:42:45,060 | 00:42:48,257 | "The Fury of the Dragon", "The Elbow of the Dragon". | "The Fury of the Dragon", "The Elbow of the Dragon". |
761 | 00:42:48,460 | 00:42:49,609 | "The Punching Hand of the Dragon", | "The Punching Hand of the Dragon", |
762 | 00:42:49,780 | 00:42:50,929 | "The Dragon goes to the Beach". | "The Dragon goes to the Beach". |
763 | 00:42:51,100 | 00:42:52,055 | Who's in that? | Who's in that? |
764 | 00:42:52,260 | 00:42:53,739 | With "The Dragon's Children"... | With "The Dragon's Children"... |
765 | 00:42:53,940 | 00:42:55,692 | And the great classic of all classics, | And the great classic of all classics, |
766 | 00:42:55,980 | 00:42:58,733 | "Land When you Can on the Great Wall of China | "Land When you Can on the Great Wall of China |
767 | 00:42:58,900 | 00:43:00,572 | "with the Seven Samurais"... | "with the Seven Samurais"... |
768 | 00:43:01,060 | 00:43:02,334 | That title doesn't have dragon in it? | That title doesn't have dragon in it? |
769 | 00:43:03,100 | 00:43:04,249 | You didn't let me finish: | You didn't let me finish: |
770 | 00:43:04,420 | 00:43:06,012 | "Land When you Can on the Great Wall of China | "Land When you Can on the Great Wall of China |
771 | 00:43:06,180 | 00:43:08,853 | "with the Seven Samurais Fleeing from the Dragon." | "with the Seven Samurais Fleeing from the Dragon." |
772 | 00:43:10,900 | 00:43:13,414 | That one's about the Chinese mafia. | That one's about the Chinese mafia. |
773 | 00:43:13,940 | 00:43:14,895 | Fuck yeah, it is! | Fuck yeah, it is! |
774 | 00:43:16,020 | 00:43:21,140 | Make your illegal bets, give me a note, I'll give you a note. | Make your illegal bets, give me a note, I'll give you a note. |
775 | 00:43:21,500 | 00:43:28,690 | We accept everything; euros, dollars, piastras, ruples, petro-dollars! | We accept everything; euros, dollars, piastras, ruples, petro-dollars! |
776 | 00:43:28,860 | 00:43:30,816 | Fujimori, repeat after me: | Fujimori, repeat after me: |
777 | 00:43:30,980 | 00:43:32,493 | I am a brutal murderer! | I am a brutal murderer! |
778 | 00:43:33,820 | 00:43:38,211 | Come on! I am a brutal murderer! | Come on! I am a brutal murderer! |
779 | 00:43:49,060 | 00:43:50,891 | And so, Samurai, are you strong? | And so, Samurai, are you strong? |
780 | 00:43:51,180 | 00:43:53,535 | Stronger than a chilindron. | Stronger than a chilindron. |
781 | 00:43:54,620 | 00:44:00,217 | Samurai, show me the feline spirit within you, you big ole cock...! | Samurai, show me the feline spirit within you, you big ole cock...! |
782 | 00:44:04,580 | 00:44:06,172 | Listen, I bet it all on you. | Listen, I bet it all on you. |
783 | 00:44:06,340 | 00:44:08,900 | So now you know, victory or chilindron! | So now you know, victory or chilindron! |
784 | 00:44:09,380 | 00:44:10,733 | With peppers! | With peppers! |
785 | 00:44:14,860 | 00:44:16,213 | People of China! | People of China! |
786 | 00:44:16,500 | 00:44:19,060 | We are about to start the traditional combat | We are about to start the traditional combat |
787 | 00:44:19,260 | 00:44:20,818 | that will make its premiere today, | that will make its premiere today, |
788 | 00:44:20,980 | 00:44:26,213 | in the traditional illegal Chinese cockfight of Kazuza! | in the traditional illegal Chinese cockfight of Kazuza! |
789 | 00:44:30,220 | 00:44:34,498 | From Siam, where he spent ten years with his master Toni, | From Siam, where he spent ten years with his master Toni, |
790 | 00:44:34,700 | 00:44:37,419 | perfecting the crane style | perfecting the crane style |
791 | 00:44:37,620 | 00:44:40,134 | and the use of the katana-cachava and the cachava-katana, | and the use of the katana-cachava and the cachava-katana, |
792 | 00:44:40,340 | 00:44:41,773 | a big applause for | a big applause for |
793 | 00:44:41,980 | 00:44:45,416 | Samurai, the Hurricane of the Azores. | Samurai, the Hurricane of the Azores. |
794 | 00:44:51,980 | 00:44:52,935 | Concentrate. | Concentrate. |
795 | 00:44:53,180 | 00:44:59,858 | And now, straight from the small town in butt-fucking Egypt, | And now, straight from the small town in butt-fucking Egypt, |
796 | 00:45:00,020 | 00:45:03,899 | where he spent the last three days in a vow of silence, | where he spent the last three days in a vow of silence, |
797 | 00:45:04,100 | 00:45:06,409 | with his manager-a-trois, Zeze, | with his manager-a-trois, Zeze, |
798 | 00:45:06,660 | 00:45:09,379 | the leading specialist on the bat technique | the leading specialist on the bat technique |
799 | 00:45:09,540 | 00:45:11,531 | and the hog trot escape, | and the hog trot escape, |
800 | 00:45:11,700 | 00:45:12,655 | a round of applause for | a round of applause for |
801 | 00:45:12,860 | 00:45:14,896 | Fujimori, the Crook from Machu-Pichu. | Fujimori, the Crook from Machu-Pichu. |
802 | 00:45:25,620 | 00:45:28,418 | Pray your last prayers, | Pray your last prayers, |
803 | 00:45:28,780 | 00:45:31,817 | The Fujimori is going to beat the crest right off | The Fujimori is going to beat the crest right off |
804 | 00:45:31,980 | 00:45:34,778 | of that messenger pigeon. | of that messenger pigeon. |
805 | 00:45:36,140 | 00:45:40,531 | My friend, listen well, you should know that Samurai | My friend, listen well, you should know that Samurai |
806 | 00:45:40,700 | 00:45:42,895 | comes from an ancient line of warrior cocks | comes from an ancient line of warrior cocks |
807 | 00:45:43,060 | 00:45:45,528 | from the times of Inspector Ming. | from the times of Inspector Ming. |
808 | 00:45:47,220 | 00:45:48,619 | The great grandfather of that cock alone | The great grandfather of that cock alone |
809 | 00:45:48,780 | 00:45:52,693 | fed all the workers who built the Great Wall | fed all the workers who built the Great Wall |
810 | 00:45:53,020 | 00:45:54,089 | and its surroundings. | and its surroundings. |
811 | 00:45:55,260 | 00:45:58,889 | I'm warning you, Fujimori is a black belt in capoeira. | I'm warning you, Fujimori is a black belt in capoeira. |
812 | 00:45:59,180 | 00:46:00,693 | This cock is really macho, | This cock is really macho, |
813 | 00:46:00,860 | 00:46:07,095 | a Rock Hurlson, an Al Modovar, a Freddy Merculin. | a Rock Hurlson, an Al Modovar, a Freddy Merculin. |
814 | 00:46:07,500 | 00:46:11,288 | Freddy Merculin, why are talking about that poor guy, he's dead. | Freddy Merculin, why are talking about that poor guy, he's dead. |
815 | 00:46:11,620 | 00:46:14,054 | Doesn't matter, a man who's macho is always a macho man, | Doesn't matter, a man who's macho is always a macho man, |
816 | 00:46:14,340 | 00:46:15,489 | even if he's a cock. | even if he's a cock. |
817 | 00:46:18,300 | 00:46:20,131 | Zeze, I don't mean to sweeten the pill, | Zeze, I don't mean to sweeten the pill, |
818 | 00:46:20,340 | 00:46:22,979 | but I think that cock, when he sings, is a little queer... | but I think that cock, when he sings, is a little queer... |
819 | 00:46:24,260 | 00:46:25,534 | Queer? | Queer? |
820 | 00:46:25,940 | 00:46:29,250 | Yeah, a poof, like those guys who get married in Spain, | Yeah, a poof, like those guys who get married in Spain, |
821 | 00:46:29,420 | 00:46:31,092 | to each other, without chicks, | to each other, without chicks, |
822 | 00:46:31,340 | 00:46:33,376 | and believing in God and in Elton John. | and believing in God and in Elton John. |
823 | 00:46:40,980 | 00:46:42,971 | Zeze, did you fall asleep? | Zeze, did you fall asleep? |
824 | 00:46:43,180 | 00:46:46,172 | This it totally awesome, man. The cock has laid an egg. | This it totally awesome, man. The cock has laid an egg. |
825 | 00:46:46,380 | 00:46:47,779 | That only happens in the movies. | That only happens in the movies. |
826 | 00:46:47,980 | 00:46:49,572 | I've seen this movie on video. | I've seen this movie on video. |
827 | 00:46:49,900 | 00:46:51,413 | This movie just came out today. | This movie just came out today. |
828 | 00:46:51,740 | 00:46:54,857 | With that guy, I've seen it tones of times. | With that guy, I've seen it tones of times. |
829 | 00:46:55,100 | 00:46:58,058 | All right then, what happens later? Come on, tell me. | All right then, what happens later? Come on, tell me. |
830 | 00:46:58,460 | 00:47:00,257 | If I tell you, I'll ruin it for you. | If I tell you, I'll ruin it for you. |
831 | 00:47:00,460 | 00:47:04,373 | Come on dammit, tell me how it ends; I'm getting impatient. | Come on dammit, tell me how it ends; I'm getting impatient. |
832 | 00:47:04,540 | 00:47:06,019 | Shut up and watch the movie. | Shut up and watch the movie. |
833 | 00:47:06,220 | 00:47:08,017 | Go outside and talk! | Go outside and talk! |
834 | 00:47:08,540 | 00:47:11,657 | Shove your ticket up your ass, moron! | Shove your ticket up your ass, moron! |
835 | 00:47:12,380 | 00:47:14,257 | These fucking people are so rude. | These fucking people are so rude. |
836 | 00:47:14,500 | 00:47:17,333 | Jelou, It is I, Toni speaking! | Jelou, It is I, Toni speaking! |
837 | 00:47:18,340 | 00:47:19,295 | Cookie! | Cookie! |
838 | 00:47:19,500 | 00:47:21,730 | Is that you, ole buddy? Where are you hanging, bud? | Is that you, ole buddy? Where are you hanging, bud? |
839 | 00:47:22,780 | 00:47:24,930 | At the movies? No shit, so am I! | At the movies? No shit, so am I! |
840 | 00:47:26,460 | 00:47:28,815 | Would you shut the fuck up, once and for all! | Would you shut the fuck up, once and for all! |
841 | 00:47:29,060 | 00:47:30,015 | What the hell, | What the hell, |
842 | 00:47:30,180 | 00:47:33,536 | my friend can talk on the cell in peace, or can't he? | my friend can talk on the cell in peace, or can't he? |
843 | 00:47:34,140 | 00:47:35,732 | Wait and see me smear your | Wait and see me smear your |
844 | 00:47:35,900 | 00:47:37,811 | ugly gullet across your back of your seat with one punch! | ugly gullet across your back of your seat with one punch! |
845 | 00:47:37,980 | 00:47:39,459 | And what movie are you watching Cookie? | And what movie are you watching Cookie? |
846 | 00:47:40,460 | 00:47:42,212 | No shit, the same one I am! | No shit, the same one I am! |
847 | 00:47:43,060 | 00:47:45,574 | Shut up now, you motherfuckers! | Shut up now, you motherfuckers! |
848 | 00:47:46,380 | 00:47:48,735 | Who are you calling motherfucker, dickface? | Who are you calling motherfucker, dickface? |
849 | 00:47:52,020 | 00:47:53,772 | Who's throwing popcorn at me? | Who's throwing popcorn at me? |
850 | 00:47:53,980 | 00:47:56,778 | I want to know who threw the popcorn, because otherwise... | I want to know who threw the popcorn, because otherwise... |
851 | 00:48:00,860 | 00:48:01,929 | We'll talk... | We'll talk... |
852 | 00:48:02,340 | 00:48:03,932 | Zeze, guess who's here in the theater. | Zeze, guess who's here in the theater. |
853 | 00:48:04,220 | 00:48:05,175 | Who? | Who? |
854 | 00:48:05,340 | 00:48:06,295 | Cookie. | Cookie. |
855 | 00:48:06,500 | 00:48:07,774 | Cookie, where? | Cookie, where? |
856 | 00:48:08,180 | 00:48:09,659 | I think he's in the back because he said | I think he's in the back because he said |
857 | 00:48:09,820 | 00:48:10,935 | he couldn't hear the movie | he couldn't hear the movie |
858 | 00:48:11,140 | 00:48:13,608 | because two dumbfucks in front wouldn't shut the hell up | because two dumbfucks in front wouldn't shut the hell up |
859 | 00:48:13,780 | 00:48:15,213 | and he had to throw a bag of popcorn at them | and he had to throw a bag of popcorn at them |
860 | 00:48:15,380 | 00:48:16,415 | to get them to shut up. | to get them to shut up. |
861 | 00:48:18,260 | 00:48:19,659 | Cookie, you're a dead man! | Cookie, you're a dead man! |
862 | 00:48:19,940 | 00:48:21,931 | Where were you when I needed you? | Where were you when I needed you? |
863 | 00:48:22,540 | 00:48:25,100 | Did you see how the first four rows were jumping on me | Did you see how the first four rows were jumping on me |
864 | 00:48:25,260 | 00:48:26,488 | and beating the shit out of me, | and beating the shit out of me, |
865 | 00:48:26,700 | 00:48:29,134 | and you didn't even lift a finger. | and you didn't even lift a finger. |
866 | 00:48:29,540 | 00:48:32,691 | So you need me? You don't need me for anything. | So you need me? You don't need me for anything. |
867 | 00:48:32,900 | 00:48:33,969 | You're an ingrate. | You're an ingrate. |
868 | 00:48:34,140 | 00:48:36,813 | Because of you, I don't know how the movie ends. | Because of you, I don't know how the movie ends. |
869 | 00:48:37,020 | 00:48:38,897 | I know how it ends, you want me to tell you? | I know how it ends, you want me to tell you? |
870 | 00:48:39,060 | 00:48:42,097 | No, I don't want to ruin it. | No, I don't want to ruin it. |
871 | 00:48:44,660 | 00:48:46,252 | They all get napalmed. | They all get napalmed. |
872 | 00:48:47,780 | 00:48:49,133 | It's a bloodbath. | It's a bloodbath. |
873 | 00:48:49,580 | 00:48:51,855 | But they do get married, or don't they? | But they do get married, or don't they? |
874 | 00:48:52,260 | 00:48:53,659 | Of course they do. | Of course they do. |
875 | 00:48:53,820 | 00:48:57,256 | This movie is like those romantic comedies. | This movie is like those romantic comedies. |
876 | 00:48:57,420 | 00:49:02,130 | As soon as it starts raining a little, they all start singing and dancing. | As soon as it starts raining a little, they all start singing and dancing. |
877 | 00:49:02,660 | 00:49:06,369 | Like those Fred Astaire and Ginger Ale movies. | Like those Fred Astaire and Ginger Ale movies. |
878 | 00:49:08,140 | 00:49:15,012 | I'm sailing in the train I'm sailing in the train... | I'm sailing in the train I'm sailing in the train... |
879 | 00:49:32,260 | 00:49:33,488 | Shut it, dirty drunks! | Shut it, dirty drunks! |
880 | 00:49:35,140 | 00:49:36,334 | Right on! | Right on! |
881 | 00:49:36,740 | 00:49:41,495 | MAY GOD FORGIVE YOU FOR ALL THE EVIL I'VE DONE | MAY GOD FORGIVE YOU FOR ALL THE EVIL I'VE DONE |
882 | 00:49:43,740 | 00:49:46,379 | This man is one of the most important | This man is one of the most important |
883 | 00:49:46,540 | 00:49:48,895 | in the history of the neighborhood in general, | in the history of the neighborhood in general, |
884 | 00:49:49,140 | 00:49:51,893 | and in the history of Portugal in particular. | and in the history of Portugal in particular. |
885 | 00:49:52,260 | 00:49:55,172 | It's necessary to have great respect for this gentleman. | It's necessary to have great respect for this gentleman. |
886 | 00:49:55,620 | 00:50:01,217 | The Infant, Don Fuas Bogalho, the Atrophiator. | The Infant, Don Fuas Bogalho, the Atrophiator. |
887 | 00:50:01,380 | 00:50:03,814 | Exactly, this man was the one | Exactly, this man was the one |
888 | 00:50:03,980 | 00:50:06,540 | who discovered the sea passage to Spain. | who discovered the sea passage to Spain. |
889 | 00:50:07,020 | 00:50:08,692 | What? | What? |
890 | 00:50:09,740 | 00:50:10,729 | On a donkey. | On a donkey. |
891 | 00:50:11,180 | 00:50:13,489 | Hang on a sec, didn't you say it was a sea passage? | Hang on a sec, didn't you say it was a sea passage? |
892 | 00:50:13,780 | 00:50:15,259 | And donkeys don't know how to swim? | And donkeys don't know how to swim? |
893 | 00:50:15,500 | 00:50:16,455 | To Spain? | To Spain? |
894 | 00:50:16,660 | 00:50:17,615 | Donkeys can swim | Donkeys can swim |
895 | 00:50:17,780 | 00:50:19,179 | wherever they goddamn want to swim. | wherever they goddamn want to swim. |
896 | 00:50:20,540 | 00:50:24,249 | Poor thing, the stupid donkey who wound up rowing his ass off. | Poor thing, the stupid donkey who wound up rowing his ass off. |
897 | 00:50:24,620 | 00:50:25,814 | What was the donkey's name? | What was the donkey's name? |
898 | 00:50:26,540 | 00:50:27,495 | Popeye. | Popeye. |
899 | 00:50:30,500 | 00:50:38,737 | In 1467, Don Fuas got totally wasted on grape liquor. | In 1467, Don Fuas got totally wasted on grape liquor. |
900 | 00:50:39,060 | 00:50:41,779 | And then he bought a shinoe. | And then he bought a shinoe. |
901 | 00:50:41,980 | 00:50:43,299 | The end is near. | The end is near. |
902 | 00:50:43,900 | 00:50:45,697 | Shinoe, a shinoe. | Shinoe, a shinoe. |
903 | 00:50:45,860 | 00:50:48,010 | The end is near, I saw... | The end is near, I saw... |
904 | 00:50:48,660 | 00:50:50,651 | Shinoe, a ship, a canoe | Shinoe, a ship, a canoe |
905 | 00:50:50,820 | 00:50:51,775 | Canoe... | Canoe... |
906 | 00:50:53,700 | 00:50:56,009 | The shinoe "capitapitana", | The shinoe "capitapitana", |
907 | 00:50:56,500 | 00:51:01,016 | in homage to the Gallic-Roman | in homage to the Gallic-Roman |
908 | 00:51:01,180 | 00:51:05,253 | goddess of the Starfish and deep fried squid. | goddess of the Starfish and deep fried squid. |
909 | 00:51:08,820 | 00:51:10,378 | "Capitapitana". | "Capitapitana". |
910 | 00:51:10,740 | 00:51:13,732 | Wasn't that the saint famous for eating roses? | Wasn't that the saint famous for eating roses? |
911 | 00:51:14,140 | 00:51:15,459 | Yeah, that's the one. | Yeah, that's the one. |
912 | 00:51:16,500 | 00:51:19,936 | As I was saying, Don Fuas came down | As I was saying, Don Fuas came down |
913 | 00:51:20,100 | 00:51:24,378 | with a nasty case of the plutonic plague in his ears | with a nasty case of the plutonic plague in his ears |
914 | 00:51:24,740 | 00:51:27,573 | and so he had to get healed at the hot baths. | and so he had to get healed at the hot baths. |
915 | 00:51:28,100 | 00:51:31,536 | And when they were pressure spraying him in the face, | And when they were pressure spraying him in the face, |
916 | 00:51:31,700 | 00:51:32,894 | he made a decision. | he made a decision. |
917 | 00:51:33,060 | 00:51:35,255 | But wait, they were healing him by pressure spraying water? | But wait, they were healing him by pressure spraying water? |
918 | 00:51:35,460 | 00:51:36,415 | Yes. | Yes. |
919 | 00:51:36,620 | 00:51:39,180 | How awful! If instead of water, it were wine... | How awful! If instead of water, it were wine... |
920 | 00:51:39,380 | 00:51:41,689 | He decided to go to the Indies. | He decided to go to the Indies. |
921 | 00:51:41,900 | 00:51:45,097 | And why to the Indies? What had they done? | And why to the Indies? What had they done? |
922 | 00:51:45,300 | 00:51:47,018 | I don't understand this story at all. | I don't understand this story at all. |
923 | 00:51:47,340 | 00:51:51,936 | You will come to understand it in due time, your worship. | You will come to understand it in due time, your worship. |
924 | 00:51:52,900 | 00:51:57,576 | As in all the great epics of humanity, Spain was discovered by chance, | As in all the great epics of humanity, Spain was discovered by chance, |
925 | 00:51:58,140 | 00:52:01,610 | because Don Fuas was convinced he was conquering the Indies. | because Don Fuas was convinced he was conquering the Indies. |
926 | 00:52:02,020 | 00:52:03,339 | So what's with the Indies, are they hotties? | So what's with the Indies, are they hotties? |
927 | 00:52:03,500 | 00:52:04,853 | The Indies are good lands... | The Indies are good lands... |
928 | 00:52:05,020 | 00:52:07,011 | That means... | That means... |
929 | 00:52:08,140 | 00:52:09,095 | India in sight! | India in sight! |
930 | 00:52:09,300 | 00:52:10,289 | Where? Where? | Where? Where? |
931 | 00:52:10,820 | 00:52:12,970 | It's just pretend for argument's sake. | It's just pretend for argument's sake. |
932 | 00:52:13,780 | 00:52:17,455 | VIERNES, HACE 539 A�OS | VIERNES, HACE 539 A�OS |
933 | 00:52:26,220 | 00:52:28,176 | Your worship, to drink on this long journey ahead, | Your worship, to drink on this long journey ahead, |
934 | 00:52:28,340 | 00:52:29,739 | have you brought beers? | have you brought beers? |
935 | 00:52:30,060 | 00:52:32,620 | I brought what I could, sir. | I brought what I could, sir. |
936 | 00:52:32,780 | 00:52:34,816 | I thought that en route to the Indies, | I thought that en route to the Indies, |
937 | 00:52:35,140 | 00:52:37,813 | we would dock in Badajoz | we would dock in Badajoz |
938 | 00:52:38,020 | 00:52:41,615 | and have some tapas and a little wine. | and have some tapas and a little wine. |
939 | 00:52:41,780 | 00:52:42,929 | Your worship has miscalculated; | Your worship has miscalculated; |
940 | 00:52:43,100 | 00:52:45,136 | we are traveling on a highway without stops. | we are traveling on a highway without stops. |
941 | 00:52:45,540 | 00:52:47,690 | Very well, how enlightened Don Foola Bogalho. | Very well, how enlightened Don Foola Bogalho. |
942 | 00:52:47,940 | 00:52:49,817 | Fuas, Fuas. | Fuas, Fuas. |
943 | 00:52:50,300 | 00:52:53,975 | Very well, how enlightened Don Fuas Bogalho. | Very well, how enlightened Don Fuas Bogalho. |
944 | 00:52:54,380 | 00:52:56,848 | That way, we can stop at the gas station of Almendrajejo | That way, we can stop at the gas station of Almendrajejo |
945 | 00:52:57,020 | 00:53:00,296 | and buy some sausages that have no skin on the tip. | and buy some sausages that have no skin on the tip. |
946 | 00:53:00,460 | 00:53:01,609 | And then carry on, as fast as possible. | And then carry on, as fast as possible. |
947 | 00:53:02,020 | 00:53:02,975 | Now that you mention it, | Now that you mention it, |
948 | 00:53:03,260 | 00:53:05,057 | doesn't your worship think we are going exceedingly fast? | doesn't your worship think we are going exceedingly fast? |
949 | 00:53:05,420 | 00:53:08,935 | Look at the oil on the curve; | Look at the oil on the curve; |
950 | 00:53:09,620 | 00:53:10,575 | observe the danger. | observe the danger. |
951 | 00:53:11,140 | 00:53:13,256 | Pray your final prayers, | Pray your final prayers, |
952 | 00:53:13,580 | 00:53:15,935 | we are going to have one heck of a crash. | we are going to have one heck of a crash. |
953 | 00:53:16,780 | 00:53:17,769 | Look out! | Look out! |
954 | 00:53:28,540 | 00:53:30,019 | The expedition is in great danger | The expedition is in great danger |
955 | 00:53:30,700 | 00:53:33,168 | and the gasping skeleton of Don Fuas Bogalho | and the gasping skeleton of Don Fuas Bogalho |
956 | 00:53:33,340 | 00:53:35,171 | was scattered all over the sea | was scattered all over the sea |
957 | 00:53:35,700 | 00:53:38,737 | as though he were a cat run over on the highway. | as though he were a cat run over on the highway. |
958 | 00:53:38,980 | 00:53:40,936 | Jesus fucking Christ, I busted a headlight! | Jesus fucking Christ, I busted a headlight! |
959 | 00:53:42,100 | 00:53:43,089 | Calm down! | Calm down! |
960 | 00:53:43,260 | 00:53:47,378 | The great navigators are always successful, keep calm! | The great navigators are always successful, keep calm! |
961 | 00:53:47,620 | 00:53:49,212 | I am calm, I just have a broken headlight. | I am calm, I just have a broken headlight. |
962 | 00:53:49,380 | 00:53:50,608 | So who's going to pay for my headlight? | So who's going to pay for my headlight? |
963 | 00:53:50,780 | 00:53:52,532 | Forget the headlight, this is just pretend. | Forget the headlight, this is just pretend. |
964 | 00:53:52,820 | 00:53:54,856 | And what about the car insurance? Does it cover pretend headlights? | And what about the car insurance? Does it cover pretend headlights? |
965 | 00:53:55,220 | 00:53:59,133 | I suppose it does. | I suppose it does. |
966 | 00:53:59,300 | 00:54:00,653 | So then it's all taken care of. | So then it's all taken care of. |
967 | 00:54:01,060 | 00:54:02,049 | Can we proceed | Can we proceed |
968 | 00:54:02,220 | 00:54:07,419 | or do the great deeds of navigation have to wait for your Excellency? | or do the great deeds of navigation have to wait for your Excellency? |
969 | 00:54:09,900 | 00:54:12,539 | Come, Don Falcatruas Rodaballo! | Come, Don Falcatruas Rodaballo! |
970 | 00:54:13,060 | 00:54:15,051 | Fuas, Fuas. | Fuas, Fuas. |
971 | 00:54:15,340 | 00:54:18,138 | Come, for necessity calls for genius. | Come, for necessity calls for genius. |
972 | 00:54:18,900 | 00:54:21,698 | What are my ears hearing? | What are my ears hearing? |
973 | 00:54:22,820 | 00:54:25,380 | Could it be the famous Sirens of Lover's Island, | Could it be the famous Sirens of Lover's Island, |
974 | 00:54:25,620 | 00:54:27,053 | with their bulging eyes? | with their bulging eyes? |
975 | 00:54:27,420 | 00:54:30,059 | With a bit of luck, might we still find Cam�es? | With a bit of luck, might we still find Cam�es? |
976 | 00:54:30,940 | 00:54:32,817 | Have you heard of the Sirens? | Have you heard of the Sirens? |
977 | 00:54:33,820 | 00:54:36,380 | The ones who are whales from the waist up, | The ones who are whales from the waist up, |
978 | 00:54:36,580 | 00:54:38,059 | and salmons from the waist down? | and salmons from the waist down? |
979 | 00:54:38,220 | 00:54:40,290 | Shit, that's what my wife looks like. | Shit, that's what my wife looks like. |
980 | 00:54:40,460 | 00:54:42,291 | Hurry, hurry, if she finds me here, | Hurry, hurry, if she finds me here, |
981 | 00:54:42,580 | 00:54:45,094 | she'll beat me so bad my mom won't even be able to save me! | she'll beat me so bad my mom won't even be able to save me! |
982 | 00:54:48,340 | 00:54:49,295 | An ass! | An ass! |
983 | 00:54:49,540 | 00:54:50,734 | Are you talking to me, sir? | Are you talking to me, sir? |
984 | 00:54:50,900 | 00:54:57,055 | No, I'm talking about the donkey that Don Quixote rode. | No, I'm talking about the donkey that Don Quixote rode. |
985 | 00:54:58,580 | 00:55:00,810 | Put your hands in the shape of a shell... | Put your hands in the shape of a shell... |
986 | 00:55:01,900 | 00:55:03,299 | I really don't think so! | I really don't think so! |
987 | 00:55:03,540 | 00:55:07,453 | Do it, before you get a taste of violence of my foil! | Do it, before you get a taste of violence of my foil! |
988 | 00:55:24,700 | 00:55:26,531 | THE INVASION OF SPAIN | THE INVASION OF SPAIN |
989 | 00:55:48,140 | 00:55:49,095 | We have arrived. | We have arrived. |
990 | 00:55:49,260 | 00:55:50,215 | So I've noticed, sir. | So I've noticed, sir. |
991 | 00:55:50,380 | 00:55:53,372 | Have you brought mirrors to trade for the necklaces of the natives? | Have you brought mirrors to trade for the necklaces of the natives? |
992 | 00:55:53,620 | 00:55:54,575 | Jesus fucking Christ! | Jesus fucking Christ! |
993 | 00:55:54,820 | 00:55:57,334 | We brought necklaces to trade for mirrors. | We brought necklaces to trade for mirrors. |
994 | 00:55:57,540 | 00:55:59,929 | No big deal. Let's go have a drink | No big deal. Let's go have a drink |
995 | 00:56:00,180 | 00:56:02,569 | to quell the scorching dirt from our throats. | to quell the scorching dirt from our throats. |
996 | 00:56:11,780 | 00:56:14,248 | You see how I'm famous among the Indians of the Indies! | You see how I'm famous among the Indians of the Indies! |
997 | 00:56:14,500 | 00:56:17,298 | Are you sure we've never been here before? | Are you sure we've never been here before? |
998 | 00:56:17,580 | 00:56:21,129 | I am clearly the first to tread this spot. | I am clearly the first to tread this spot. |
999 | 00:56:25,860 | 00:56:28,533 | And so sons of... | And so sons of... |
1000 | 00:56:28,980 | 00:56:31,619 | we have had here for a... long time a score to settle. | we have had here for a... long time a score to settle. |
1001 | 00:56:31,940 | 00:56:33,339 | What does that one say? | What does that one say? |
1002 | 00:56:33,660 | 00:56:36,493 | I don't understand anything cause he's talking with beeps. | I don't understand anything cause he's talking with beeps. |
1003 | 00:56:37,140 | 00:56:38,459 | Let me tell you. | Let me tell you. |
1004 | 00:56:39,940 | 00:56:41,293 | Toni and Zeze. | Toni and Zeze. |
1005 | 00:56:42,340 | 00:56:45,298 | Four grilled pig ears, 3 euros, | Four grilled pig ears, 3 euros, |
1006 | 00:56:46,020 | 00:56:50,536 | three tripe stews with chick peas, 5 and a half euros, | three tripe stews with chick peas, 5 and a half euros, |
1007 | 00:56:51,460 | 00:56:55,692 | eleven sandwiches with gypsy tripe, 24 euros, | eleven sandwiches with gypsy tripe, 24 euros, |
1008 | 00:56:56,220 | 00:57:01,374 | seven hundred thirty four beers 506'304 euros... | seven hundred thirty four beers 506'304 euros... |
1009 | 00:57:01,900 | 00:57:05,893 | Look, the king of the Indies is trying to communicate with us. | Look, the king of the Indies is trying to communicate with us. |
1010 | 00:57:06,340 | 00:57:11,289 | Sarav�, Aloha, Salamalekun... | Sarav�, Aloha, Salamalekun... |
1011 | 00:57:11,540 | 00:57:13,451 | He is Don Gasuas. | He is Don Gasuas. |
1012 | 00:57:13,700 | 00:57:14,689 | Fuas. | Fuas. |
1013 | 00:57:14,940 | 00:57:19,775 | Fuas, Fuas... You Tarzan, me Jane. | Fuas, Fuas... You Tarzan, me Jane. |
1014 | 00:57:29,660 | 00:57:32,970 | Total of 600 euros and 4 cents. | Total of 600 euros and 4 cents. |
1015 | 00:57:33,780 | 00:57:36,613 | Because it's you, we'll round it off to 800 and we're all set. | Because it's you, we'll round it off to 800 and we're all set. |
1016 | 00:57:37,220 | 00:57:42,419 | Damn, and I thought they'd be friendly to the Portuguese discoverers. | Damn, and I thought they'd be friendly to the Portuguese discoverers. |
1017 | 00:57:44,420 | 00:57:46,251 | Pay now while you can, | Pay now while you can, |
1018 | 00:57:46,420 | 00:57:50,379 | or later you'll really have to pay for it, you motherf... | or later you'll really have to pay for it, you motherf... |
1019 | 00:57:50,540 | 00:57:52,212 | Do you dare raise your voice; | Do you dare raise your voice; |
1020 | 00:57:52,460 | 00:57:55,213 | you are going to get a whipping on your miserable back, | you are going to get a whipping on your miserable back, |
1021 | 00:57:55,380 | 00:57:58,770 | in the name of the King, Don Patricc... | in the name of the King, Don Patricc... |
1022 | 00:58:04,020 | 00:58:09,492 | One week, you have one week to pay for what you owe. | One week, you have one week to pay for what you owe. |
1023 | 00:58:10,500 | 00:58:14,698 | Otherwise I'll... the both of you. | Otherwise I'll... the both of you. |
1024 | 00:58:30,500 | 00:58:31,535 | How lovely! | How lovely! |
1025 | 00:58:31,940 | 00:58:34,374 | Look, sure does like licking that nastiness, no? | Look, sure does like licking that nastiness, no? |
1026 | 00:58:34,860 | 00:58:36,851 | Beat it, goddamn mutt! | Beat it, goddamn mutt! |
1027 | 00:58:37,020 | 00:58:38,055 | Poor dog. | Poor dog. |
1028 | 00:58:38,420 | 00:58:42,538 | Look at him, now all he needs is to bark, | Look at him, now all he needs is to bark, |
1029 | 00:58:42,700 | 00:58:45,214 | with those big sad eyes. | with those big sad eyes. |
1030 | 00:58:47,380 | 00:58:49,132 | Zeze, this isn't pretend anymore, is it? | Zeze, this isn't pretend anymore, is it? |
1031 | 00:58:49,380 | 00:58:50,415 | Not anymore. | Not anymore. |
1032 | 00:58:50,620 | 00:58:52,895 | Let's go, I have to get up early tomorrow. | Let's go, I have to get up early tomorrow. |
1033 | 00:58:53,060 | 00:58:54,015 | What for? | What for? |
1034 | 00:58:54,420 | 00:58:55,455 | Scram, mutt! | Scram, mutt! |
1035 | 00:58:56,340 | 00:58:57,295 | I have to go to the foot doctor | I have to go to the foot doctor |
1036 | 00:58:57,460 | 00:58:59,530 | to have a callus that's been hurting removed. | to have a callus that's been hurting removed. |
1037 | 00:58:59,860 | 00:59:00,929 | But now it doesn't hurt. | But now it doesn't hurt. |
1038 | 00:59:01,500 | 00:59:03,331 | Yeah, it's the only thing that doesn't hurt right now. | Yeah, it's the only thing that doesn't hurt right now. |
1039 | 00:59:05,500 | 00:59:06,774 | Hurry, hurry Zeze, | Hurry, hurry Zeze, |
1040 | 00:59:06,940 | 00:59:08,578 | we're getting cobblestones thrown at us! | we're getting cobblestones thrown at us! |
1041 | 00:59:09,100 | 00:59:10,089 | Jesus fucking Christ! It's your mother, Toni. | Jesus fucking Christ! It's your mother, Toni. |
1042 | 00:59:10,260 | 00:59:12,091 | Go find your father, you dirty drunk. | Go find your father, you dirty drunk. |
1043 | 00:59:12,420 | 00:59:13,899 | Run, run! | Run, run! |
1044 | 00:59:15,500 | 00:59:17,456 | Dona Antonia, what's wrong? | Dona Antonia, what's wrong? |
1045 | 00:59:17,620 | 00:59:19,417 | Why are you throwing stones at us as though we were lberian lynx? | Why are you throwing stones at us as though we were lberian lynx? |
1046 | 00:59:19,580 | 00:59:21,571 | Run, run Zeze, she's blinder than Mr. Magoo! | Run, run Zeze, she's blinder than Mr. Magoo! |
1047 | 00:59:21,780 | 00:59:24,214 | Get out of here, beat it, | Get out of here, beat it, |
1048 | 00:59:24,420 | 00:59:26,775 | you dirty drunk... | you dirty drunk... |
1049 | 00:59:30,660 | 00:59:32,059 | good for nothing! | good for nothing! |
1050 | 00:59:33,420 | 00:59:35,251 | Why does my mother throw stones at me? | Why does my mother throw stones at me? |
1051 | 00:59:35,500 | 00:59:37,570 | So you'll go look for your father. | So you'll go look for your father. |
1052 | 00:59:37,780 | 00:59:39,133 | I don't want to. | I don't want to. |
1053 | 00:59:39,420 | 00:59:42,696 | You must be waiting for your father to fall out of the sky. | You must be waiting for your father to fall out of the sky. |
1054 | 00:59:43,380 | 00:59:45,974 | Toni, if the mouse doesn't go to Mohammed, | Toni, if the mouse doesn't go to Mohammed, |
1055 | 00:59:46,140 | 00:59:47,778 | Mohammed goes to the mountain. | Mohammed goes to the mountain. |
1056 | 00:59:48,020 | 00:59:48,975 | Zeze, do you remember | Zeze, do you remember |
1057 | 00:59:49,220 | 00:59:52,530 | when I wasn't in the neighborhood for three years? | when I wasn't in the neighborhood for three years? |
1058 | 00:59:52,900 | 00:59:54,219 | Of course I do, | Of course I do, |
1059 | 00:59:54,460 | 00:59:56,655 | they were the best two weeks of my life. | they were the best two weeks of my life. |
1060 | 00:59:56,900 | 01:00:00,097 | Zeze, during that time, I was out looking for my father. | Zeze, during that time, I was out looking for my father. |
1061 | 01:00:00,300 | 01:00:01,619 | And did you find him? | And did you find him? |
1062 | 01:00:02,060 | 01:00:03,015 | I don't think so. | I don't think so. |
1063 | 01:00:03,300 | 01:00:04,255 | So... | So... |
1064 | 01:00:04,420 | 01:00:07,173 | No one can accuse me of not having looked. | No one can accuse me of not having looked. |
1065 | 01:00:07,380 | 01:00:09,052 | Anyway, there are certain people around here | Anyway, there are certain people around here |
1066 | 01:00:09,220 | 01:00:10,812 | who'd best keep their mouth shut. | who'd best keep their mouth shut. |
1067 | 01:00:10,980 | 01:00:13,494 | What? Are you saying I don't love my family? | What? Are you saying I don't love my family? |
1068 | 01:00:14,460 | 01:00:17,657 | For me, the most sacred things that exist are the three "Fs", | For me, the most sacred things that exist are the three "Fs", |
1069 | 01:00:17,820 | 01:00:20,937 | which are the pillars of our nationality: | which are the pillars of our nationality: |
1070 | 01:00:21,220 | 01:00:26,772 | FAMILY, FADO, and FOOTBALL, and well, FATIMA... | FAMILY, FADO, and FOOTBALL, and well, FATIMA... |
1071 | 01:00:27,860 | 01:00:30,533 | Aren't you missing something? | Aren't you missing something? |
1072 | 01:00:31,380 | 01:00:32,574 | And FIGO. | And FIGO. |
1073 | 01:00:33,260 | 01:00:35,854 | Zeze, nowadays no one pays any mind to that bullshit. | Zeze, nowadays no one pays any mind to that bullshit. |
1074 | 01:00:36,060 | 01:00:39,211 | What's really cool are the three "Ps". | What's really cool are the three "Ps". |
1075 | 01:00:39,460 | 01:00:40,449 | The three "Ps"? | The three "Ps"? |
1076 | 01:00:40,780 | 01:00:43,214 | PLAYERSTATION, POP-ROCK-IN-THE-NATION... | PLAYERSTATION, POP-ROCK-IN-THE-NATION... |
1077 | 01:00:43,460 | 01:00:44,654 | and PORNICATION. | and PORNICATION. |
1078 | 01:00:45,700 | 01:00:47,292 | Fucking kids. | Fucking kids. |
1079 | 01:00:47,460 | 01:00:50,532 | They don't respect the national traditions. | They don't respect the national traditions. |
1080 | 01:00:51,460 | 01:00:52,859 | Speaking of PLAYERSTATION, | Speaking of PLAYERSTATION, |
1081 | 01:00:53,260 | 01:00:56,377 | do you have "Brutal Combat Defecation 7"? | do you have "Brutal Combat Defecation 7"? |
1082 | 01:00:56,580 | 01:00:59,174 | Of course I do, but haven't played it yet. | Of course I do, but haven't played it yet. |
1083 | 01:00:59,420 | 01:01:02,890 | What? You still haven't played "Brutal Combat Defecation 7"? | What? You still haven't played "Brutal Combat Defecation 7"? |
1084 | 01:01:03,100 | 01:01:05,614 | You are so out, my friend, very out. | You are so out, my friend, very out. |
1085 | 01:01:05,780 | 01:01:08,692 | Zeze, I haven't played it yet because it's in your house, you know? | Zeze, I haven't played it yet because it's in your house, you know? |
1086 | 01:01:09,140 | 01:01:14,533 | Just like a ton of your CDs that I have at home. | Just like a ton of your CDs that I have at home. |
1087 | 01:01:14,700 | 01:01:16,418 | One of these days I'm going to sell all that crapola. | One of these days I'm going to sell all that crapola. |
1088 | 01:01:16,580 | 01:01:18,571 | I don't want CDs anymore. I get it all off the internet. | I don't want CDs anymore. I get it all off the internet. |
1089 | 01:01:18,740 | 01:01:20,173 | You get it off the internet? | You get it off the internet? |
1090 | 01:01:20,340 | 01:01:21,819 | You should be ashamed. | You should be ashamed. |
1091 | 01:01:22,020 | 01:01:23,009 | Because of you, | Because of you, |
1092 | 01:01:23,220 | 01:01:27,054 | people like Pitney Sprears get their careers ruined, | people like Pitney Sprears get their careers ruined, |
1093 | 01:01:27,260 | 01:01:29,569 | a nice girl who could be your daughter. | a nice girl who could be your daughter. |
1094 | 01:01:29,780 | 01:01:35,093 | I wish. Sexy mother-brother-fucker... | I wish. Sexy mother-brother-fucker... |
1095 | 01:01:38,060 | 01:01:40,449 | Zeze, you have to give back the music to the internet | Zeze, you have to give back the music to the internet |
1096 | 01:01:40,660 | 01:01:41,979 | where you got it from. | where you got it from. |
1097 | 01:01:42,140 | 01:01:43,812 | All right, I'll give back the music | All right, I'll give back the music |
1098 | 01:01:44,020 | 01:01:45,772 | when you give back the pictures of naked girls. | when you give back the pictures of naked girls. |
1099 | 01:01:45,980 | 01:01:49,609 | Naked girls? But I download them for you... | Naked girls? But I download them for you... |
1100 | 01:01:49,780 | 01:01:52,089 | Come on, man. Don't push it. | Come on, man. Don't push it. |
1101 | 01:01:52,260 | 01:01:56,219 | Boy, are you twisted, I don't even have a computer. | Boy, are you twisted, I don't even have a computer. |
1102 | 01:01:56,460 | 01:01:58,052 | I did have a computer connection | I did have a computer connection |
1103 | 01:01:58,220 | 01:02:01,098 | to the internet with gastric bandwidth, | to the internet with gastric bandwidth, |
1104 | 01:02:01,300 | 01:02:03,689 | and you took it to your house, asshole. | and you took it to your house, asshole. |
1105 | 01:02:03,860 | 01:02:05,691 | It's in my house, but it belongs to you. | It's in my house, but it belongs to you. |
1106 | 01:02:05,940 | 01:02:06,895 | And therefore, | And therefore, |
1107 | 01:02:07,060 | 01:02:09,130 | the one downloading music off internet is you. | the one downloading music off internet is you. |
1108 | 01:02:09,300 | 01:02:10,972 | And that's what I'm going to tell the coppers. | And that's what I'm going to tell the coppers. |
1109 | 01:02:11,180 | 01:02:12,818 | Zeze, don't get the fuzz involved in this. | Zeze, don't get the fuzz involved in this. |
1110 | 01:02:12,980 | 01:02:15,016 | Let's solve this problem in a civilized way. | Let's solve this problem in a civilized way. |
1111 | 01:02:15,460 | 01:02:16,859 | You're a nervy bastard, man. | You're a nervy bastard, man. |
1112 | 01:02:17,060 | 01:02:20,097 | You should give all that filth back to the Internet | You should give all that filth back to the Internet |
1113 | 01:02:20,300 | 01:02:21,653 | before the cops get here. | before the cops get here. |
1114 | 01:02:22,180 | 01:02:23,135 | Police! | Police! |
1115 | 01:02:24,820 | 01:02:26,856 | Look Zeze, what I was saying. | Look Zeze, what I was saying. |
1116 | 01:02:27,020 | 01:02:30,137 | This is what the kids call Pornication. | This is what the kids call Pornication. |
1117 | 01:02:31,980 | 01:02:34,050 | But didn't this used to be a market? | But didn't this used to be a market? |
1118 | 01:02:34,420 | 01:02:35,933 | Yes, used to, but you know, | Yes, used to, but you know, |
1119 | 01:02:36,140 | 01:02:37,812 | they are tearing down all the most typical stuff. | they are tearing down all the most typical stuff. |
1120 | 01:02:37,980 | 01:02:38,935 | How typical. | How typical. |
1121 | 01:02:39,140 | 01:02:42,098 | You know, instead of being an historic landmark, | You know, instead of being an historic landmark, |
1122 | 01:02:42,340 | 01:02:44,251 | we have a temple of lust and sin. | we have a temple of lust and sin. |
1123 | 01:02:45,140 | 01:02:47,654 | For shame! - They have no right! | For shame! - They have no right! |
1124 | 01:02:50,740 | 01:02:51,695 | Shall we go in? | Shall we go in? |
1125 | 01:02:51,860 | 01:02:52,815 | Let's go in. | Let's go in. |
1126 | 01:03:00,180 | 01:03:04,970 | HELP YOURSELF, GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF THE REST | HELP YOURSELF, GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF THE REST |
1127 | 01:03:07,140 | 01:03:08,129 | Hey, chief! | Hey, chief! |
1128 | 01:03:08,660 | 01:03:11,652 | That chick there in that orgy there, her name's Lassie right? | That chick there in that orgy there, her name's Lassie right? |
1129 | 01:03:13,020 | 01:03:17,536 | No, it's Tera Patricks, but if you want a movie with Lassie, | No, it's Tera Patricks, but if you want a movie with Lassie, |
1130 | 01:03:17,700 | 01:03:20,260 | we have some in the section for nutcases. | we have some in the section for nutcases. |
1131 | 01:03:20,940 | 01:03:23,056 | Your fucking nutcase mom. | Your fucking nutcase mom. |
1132 | 01:03:23,500 | 01:03:24,455 | See how you like getting | See how you like getting |
1133 | 01:03:24,660 | 01:03:25,979 | that machine crammed down your throat! | that machine crammed down your throat! |
1134 | 01:03:26,740 | 01:03:29,208 | Your place or mine, sweetie? | Your place or mine, sweetie? |
1135 | 01:03:31,700 | 01:03:32,655 | Toni! | Toni! |
1136 | 01:03:35,420 | 01:03:36,739 | Hang on, I'll be right there. | Hang on, I'll be right there. |
1137 | 01:03:39,020 | 01:03:42,490 | That's amazing, what crazy chicks. | That's amazing, what crazy chicks. |
1138 | 01:03:42,820 | 01:03:44,299 | They don't even know the guy and look what they do to him! | They don't even know the guy and look what they do to him! |
1139 | 01:03:44,980 | 01:03:45,935 | Let me watch the rest. | Let me watch the rest. |
1140 | 01:03:46,100 | 01:03:47,613 | But Toni, are you inside there? | But Toni, are you inside there? |
1141 | 01:03:48,260 | 01:03:49,579 | No, it's another guy who's inside. | No, it's another guy who's inside. |
1142 | 01:03:50,100 | 01:03:51,249 | That's too bad! | That's too bad! |
1143 | 01:03:51,460 | 01:03:54,452 | The thing is, there are some girls here who'd drive you crazy. | The thing is, there are some girls here who'd drive you crazy. |
1144 | 01:03:54,780 | 01:03:55,735 | Holy shit! | Holy shit! |
1145 | 01:04:02,500 | 01:04:03,489 | Gotta coin? | Gotta coin? |
1146 | 01:04:04,060 | 01:04:05,015 | Want me to coin you? | Want me to coin you? |
1147 | 01:04:05,300 | 01:04:06,255 | Yeah, coin me. | Yeah, coin me. |
1148 | 01:04:07,700 | 01:04:08,655 | Here. | Here. |
1149 | 01:04:09,500 | 01:04:10,728 | And I won't touch that shit | And I won't touch that shit |
1150 | 01:04:11,260 | 01:04:13,615 | 'cause I'm not vaccinated against the paleontomielitica fever. | 'cause I'm not vaccinated against the paleontomielitica fever. |
1151 | 01:04:14,020 | 01:04:16,329 | Take it and put it in the slot. | Take it and put it in the slot. |
1152 | 01:04:17,020 | 01:04:21,377 | Zeze, I'm sure that place is full of naked hot chicks. | Zeze, I'm sure that place is full of naked hot chicks. |
1153 | 01:04:21,940 | 01:04:22,895 | Fuck. | Fuck. |
1154 | 01:04:23,060 | 01:04:24,015 | Put it in. | Put it in. |
1155 | 01:04:30,540 | 01:04:32,098 | In two words: A-mazing. | In two words: A-mazing. |
1156 | 01:04:32,420 | 01:04:34,138 | They're incredible! | They're incredible! |
1157 | 01:04:34,980 | 01:04:38,256 | Zeze, how the fuck do they make the stage turn like that? | Zeze, how the fuck do they make the stage turn like that? |
1158 | 01:04:38,580 | 01:04:40,252 | That they do with slave labor. | That they do with slave labor. |
1159 | 01:04:40,540 | 01:04:41,495 | Down below there are a bunch | Down below there are a bunch |
1160 | 01:04:41,660 | 01:04:44,697 | of Uranium, Romanium, Bulgarium dwarves... | of Uranium, Romanium, Bulgarium dwarves... |
1161 | 01:04:45,100 | 01:04:47,011 | all pushing the wheel. | all pushing the wheel. |
1162 | 01:04:47,500 | 01:04:51,573 | This country is full Africans, poor things, | This country is full Africans, poor things, |
1163 | 01:04:51,860 | 01:04:53,851 | their backs must kill them | their backs must kill them |
1164 | 01:04:54,140 | 01:04:55,971 | from pushing around those buff hotties. | from pushing around those buff hotties. |
1165 | 01:04:56,660 | 01:04:59,538 | Quiet, we're watching the girls! | Quiet, we're watching the girls! |
1166 | 01:05:03,300 | 01:05:04,892 | So, will you give me a coin? | So, will you give me a coin? |
1167 | 01:05:05,100 | 01:05:06,055 | What for? | What for? |
1168 | 01:05:06,220 | 01:05:07,175 | For the girls. | For the girls. |
1169 | 01:05:07,340 | 01:05:08,489 | And you think the girls are going to let you see something | And you think the girls are going to let you see something |
1170 | 01:05:08,700 | 01:05:09,655 | for a fucking coin? | for a fucking coin? |
1171 | 01:05:09,820 | 01:05:11,378 | Give me a coin or I'll smash your face in! | Give me a coin or I'll smash your face in! |
1172 | 01:05:12,020 | 01:05:13,499 | All right, here. | All right, here. |
1173 | 01:05:15,660 | 01:05:16,649 | Have fun. | Have fun. |
1174 | 01:05:20,180 | 01:05:21,329 | What I really liked was to be there | What I really liked was to be there |
1175 | 01:05:21,500 | 01:05:24,492 | in the midst of it all giving it to them. | in the midst of it all giving it to them. |
1176 | 01:05:24,980 | 01:05:30,418 | Take it, bitch; you want a pork rod? | Take it, bitch; you want a pork rod? |
1177 | 01:05:30,620 | 01:05:35,853 | I'm right here for ya, slut. | I'm right here for ya, slut. |
1178 | 01:05:36,340 | 01:05:38,331 | Take it, whore! | Take it, whore! |
1179 | 01:05:40,980 | 01:05:42,129 | Watch me Toni. | Watch me Toni. |
1180 | 01:05:42,380 | 01:05:45,258 | I'm going to show you how to treat these scrubbers. | I'm going to show you how to treat these scrubbers. |
1181 | 01:05:45,820 | 01:05:47,299 | You're watching right, Toni? | You're watching right, Toni? |
1182 | 01:05:48,740 | 01:05:50,810 | Where did that asshole go to? | Where did that asshole go to? |
1183 | 01:05:52,140 | 01:05:53,209 | Let go of me! | Let go of me! |
1184 | 01:05:53,460 | 01:05:54,415 | Toni! | Toni! |
1185 | 01:05:54,580 | 01:05:55,535 | Zeze! | Zeze! |
1186 | 01:06:04,940 | 01:06:06,578 | Psalm 69. | Psalm 69. |
1187 | 01:06:07,260 | 01:06:09,376 | Though I walk in the valley of death, | Though I walk in the valley of death, |
1188 | 01:06:09,620 | 01:06:12,930 | I shall never fear, for the Lord is at my side. | I shall never fear, for the Lord is at my side. |
1189 | 01:06:14,300 | 01:06:16,450 | I do not see Him, but I know He is with me. | I do not see Him, but I know He is with me. |
1190 | 01:06:17,620 | 01:06:19,531 | I other words, I'm on my way... | I other words, I'm on my way... |
1191 | 01:06:36,300 | 01:06:40,179 | For you, they're hotties, pieces of ass, | For you, they're hotties, pieces of ass, |
1192 | 01:06:40,780 | 01:06:43,533 | but when Toni jumped on top of those sluts, | but when Toni jumped on top of those sluts, |
1193 | 01:06:43,740 | 01:06:47,369 | Don Zeze decided that that was a filthy place. | Don Zeze decided that that was a filthy place. |
1194 | 01:06:47,700 | 01:06:49,531 | Toni, the light! | Toni, the light! |
1195 | 01:06:49,780 | 01:06:51,259 | Light, you want light? | Light, you want light? |
1196 | 01:06:51,540 | 01:06:53,451 | I'll give you light all right; | I'll give you light all right; |
1197 | 01:06:53,660 | 01:06:56,094 | I'm going to give you a hundred thousand amps in your face; | I'm going to give you a hundred thousand amps in your face; |
1198 | 01:06:56,260 | 01:06:57,693 | then you'll know what light is. | then you'll know what light is. |
1199 | 01:07:00,460 | 01:07:01,415 | Did you like it? | Did you like it? |
1200 | 01:07:01,620 | 01:07:07,377 | Don Zeze might be there like a champion giving it to the sluts. | Don Zeze might be there like a champion giving it to the sluts. |
1201 | 01:07:08,220 | 01:07:12,532 | But when it's everyone else's turn, he starts kicking about like a mule. | But when it's everyone else's turn, he starts kicking about like a mule. |
1202 | 01:07:13,340 | 01:07:15,331 | I don't understand anything. | I don't understand anything. |
1203 | 01:07:15,780 | 01:07:20,012 | And I saw the light and I saw God and the Lord. | And I saw the light and I saw God and the Lord. |
1204 | 01:07:20,740 | 01:07:22,651 | And where there's smoke there's fire! | And where there's smoke there's fire! |
1205 | 01:07:22,860 | 01:07:25,693 | In the fire were the ladies, with my smoke-cured body. | In the fire were the ladies, with my smoke-cured body. |
1206 | 01:07:25,900 | 01:07:28,778 | One of them told me: It's the typical body of a smoker. | One of them told me: It's the typical body of a smoker. |
1207 | 01:07:29,060 | 01:07:30,652 | But then Mr. Zeze couldn't keep | But then Mr. Zeze couldn't keep |
1208 | 01:07:30,820 | 01:07:35,689 | his trap shut while the rest of us had a bit of fun. | his trap shut while the rest of us had a bit of fun. |
1209 | 01:07:35,980 | 01:07:37,857 | I am the Messiah | I am the Messiah |
1210 | 01:07:38,060 | 01:07:40,938 | and you all will not silence the word of the Lord. | and you all will not silence the word of the Lord. |
1211 | 01:07:41,100 | 01:07:42,692 | I'll tell you all about how you're going to shut up. | I'll tell you all about how you're going to shut up. |
1212 | 01:07:42,980 | 01:07:46,416 | I'm gonna give you a half liter of Prozoc with morphine | I'm gonna give you a half liter of Prozoc with morphine |
1213 | 01:07:46,620 | 01:07:48,656 | to see if you shut the fuck up for once. | to see if you shut the fuck up for once. |
1214 | 01:07:48,860 | 01:07:50,657 | The one speaking here is me. | The one speaking here is me. |
1215 | 01:07:54,180 | 01:07:58,059 | You don't understand me, Toni. I'm a new man. | You don't understand me, Toni. I'm a new man. |
1216 | 01:07:58,780 | 01:08:02,489 | I've done an about face of 380 degrees in my life. | I've done an about face of 380 degrees in my life. |
1217 | 01:08:02,900 | 01:08:05,698 | And now it looks like everything is starting over. | And now it looks like everything is starting over. |
1218 | 01:08:05,980 | 01:08:07,129 | Shut up. | Shut up. |
1219 | 01:08:07,340 | 01:08:13,609 | I was the one who they beat up and vilified because of Mr. Zeze. | I was the one who they beat up and vilified because of Mr. Zeze. |
1220 | 01:08:13,860 | 01:08:17,375 | That is going to be the yell of Tarzan. | That is going to be the yell of Tarzan. |
1221 | 01:08:17,940 | 01:08:19,168 | Geronimo! | Geronimo! |
1222 | 01:08:21,340 | 01:08:23,092 | Do you remember when I did jumping-jumping | Do you remember when I did jumping-jumping |
1223 | 01:08:23,300 | 01:08:27,737 | with the bungee cords and I hit that stone in the river? | with the bungee cords and I hit that stone in the river? |
1224 | 01:08:28,300 | 01:08:31,531 | Where were you again my friend? | Where were you again my friend? |
1225 | 01:08:32,060 | 01:08:34,733 | I was drowning; I jumped before you did. | I was drowning; I jumped before you did. |
1226 | 01:08:35,820 | 01:08:36,935 | Geronimo! | Geronimo! |
1227 | 01:08:40,020 | 01:08:45,299 | And where was that ass when I ran over my dog? | And where was that ass when I ran over my dog? |
1228 | 01:08:45,940 | 01:08:48,090 | It was clutching onto the wheel, | It was clutching onto the wheel, |
1229 | 01:08:48,300 | 01:08:51,736 | because it was partying with the dog when you ran over it. | because it was partying with the dog when you ran over it. |
1230 | 01:08:52,420 | 01:08:53,773 | Geronimo! | Geronimo! |
1231 | 01:10:08,300 | 01:10:11,098 | What the hell is that? Goats? | What the hell is that? Goats? |
1232 | 01:10:12,860 | 01:10:16,455 | They aren't goats. This is my herd, little lassy. | They aren't goats. This is my herd, little lassy. |
1233 | 01:10:17,220 | 01:10:18,892 | Lassy? | Lassy? |
1234 | 01:10:19,540 | 01:10:26,252 | What about you? What animal are you? Half bird, half bat, and half bug. | What about you? What animal are you? Half bird, half bat, and half bug. |
1235 | 01:10:26,660 | 01:10:29,572 | If you ever get painted red, you'll look like Batman. | If you ever get painted red, you'll look like Batman. |
1236 | 01:10:32,580 | 01:10:38,689 | Sit down, pull yourself together, man, you're in a state of shocke. | Sit down, pull yourself together, man, you're in a state of shocke. |
1237 | 01:10:39,580 | 01:10:41,730 | Of shocke? Don't tell me about shocks, goddammit. | Of shocke? Don't tell me about shocks, goddammit. |
1238 | 01:10:41,900 | 01:10:43,538 | If only a bolt of lightning had struck that fucking Hemmingway | If only a bolt of lightning had struck that fucking Hemmingway |
1239 | 01:10:43,700 | 01:10:46,498 | or whoever it was who helped him to invent electricity! | or whoever it was who helped him to invent electricity! |
1240 | 01:10:48,820 | 01:10:51,095 | What the fuck are we doing here anyway? | What the fuck are we doing here anyway? |
1241 | 01:10:52,180 | 01:10:55,331 | Look around you; what is it you see? | Look around you; what is it you see? |
1242 | 01:10:57,580 | 01:11:03,450 | Nothing, I don't see anything. Just white and goats. | Nothing, I don't see anything. Just white and goats. |
1243 | 01:11:04,620 | 01:11:06,133 | You are in a coma; | You are in a coma; |
1244 | 01:11:07,740 | 01:11:11,699 | you are one step away from entering the kingdom of the heavens. | you are one step away from entering the kingdom of the heavens. |
1245 | 01:11:14,540 | 01:11:15,893 | Hang on a sec. | Hang on a sec. |
1246 | 01:11:16,060 | 01:11:19,655 | Who is it I have the pleasure of speaking to? | Who is it I have the pleasure of speaking to? |
1247 | 01:11:20,300 | 01:11:22,655 | Don't you recognize me, Zezinho? | Don't you recognize me, Zezinho? |
1248 | 01:11:23,020 | 01:11:23,975 | I really don't think so! | I really don't think so! |
1249 | 01:11:24,140 | 01:11:27,416 | Remember who took you in arms so often as a child. | Remember who took you in arms so often as a child. |
1250 | 01:11:27,620 | 01:11:30,339 | You were a wee child who was always spitting your pacifier out | You were a wee child who was always spitting your pacifier out |
1251 | 01:11:30,500 | 01:11:32,491 | because of the bad blood in your mouth. | because of the bad blood in your mouth. |
1252 | 01:11:33,100 | 01:11:34,931 | Who the fuck are you? The pediatrician? | Who the fuck are you? The pediatrician? |
1253 | 01:11:35,460 | 01:11:40,295 | No, Zezinho, I'm the father of your great friend Toni. | No, Zezinho, I'm the father of your great friend Toni. |
1254 | 01:11:40,860 | 01:11:43,169 | Hey man, don't talk to me about that dude. | Hey man, don't talk to me about that dude. |
1255 | 01:11:43,420 | 01:11:45,695 | That asshole electrocuted the hell out of me. | That asshole electrocuted the hell out of me. |
1256 | 01:11:46,020 | 01:11:47,772 | If I hadn't been grabbing onto the cot, | If I hadn't been grabbing onto the cot, |
1257 | 01:11:47,940 | 01:11:49,293 | he would have been the one here. | he would have been the one here. |
1258 | 01:11:50,860 | 01:11:52,612 | Anyway, it was the way to meet the father. | Anyway, it was the way to meet the father. |
1259 | 01:11:53,820 | 01:11:55,219 | Toni's father? | Toni's father? |
1260 | 01:11:57,260 | 01:11:58,852 | Don't tell me you're Toni's father? | Don't tell me you're Toni's father? |
1261 | 01:11:59,780 | 01:12:00,895 | What are you deaf? | What are you deaf? |
1262 | 01:12:01,620 | 01:12:03,929 | You are Toni's father, of course, | You are Toni's father, of course, |
1263 | 01:12:04,260 | 01:12:07,809 | that's where he gets that bat look from. | that's where he gets that bat look from. |
1264 | 01:12:08,060 | 01:12:09,891 | That and his thing for eating corn nuts. | That and his thing for eating corn nuts. |
1265 | 01:12:10,820 | 01:12:12,617 | The guy is always fucking eating corn nuts. | The guy is always fucking eating corn nuts. |
1266 | 01:12:12,780 | 01:12:14,657 | Never seen anything like it. | Never seen anything like it. |
1267 | 01:12:15,260 | 01:12:17,171 | It's the power of genetics. | It's the power of genetics. |
1268 | 01:12:17,700 | 01:12:20,976 | Could be. I don't know anything about that. | Could be. I don't know anything about that. |
1269 | 01:12:21,180 | 01:12:25,617 | From your family, I just know Toni himself, | From your family, I just know Toni himself, |
1270 | 01:12:25,860 | 01:12:31,378 | his mother of course, and now I'm getting to know you. | his mother of course, and now I'm getting to know you. |
1271 | 01:12:33,140 | 01:12:36,769 | Wait, but if I am in a coma, | Wait, but if I am in a coma, |
1272 | 01:12:37,380 | 01:12:41,578 | and you and I are both here, dressed in white, | and you and I are both here, dressed in white, |
1273 | 01:12:42,020 | 01:12:44,978 | there a damn nice breeze blowing. | there a damn nice breeze blowing. |
1274 | 01:12:45,140 | 01:12:48,496 | If everything's white and we have goats and everything, | If everything's white and we have goats and everything, |
1275 | 01:12:48,700 | 01:12:50,736 | does this mean we're in heaven? | does this mean we're in heaven? |
1276 | 01:12:51,500 | 01:12:55,413 | Not exactly heaven; you're at the front door. | Not exactly heaven; you're at the front door. |
1277 | 01:12:55,820 | 01:12:58,015 | I'm Saint Peter's assistant. | I'm Saint Peter's assistant. |
1278 | 01:12:58,900 | 01:13:00,128 | Saint Peter's assistant? | Saint Peter's assistant? |
1279 | 01:13:00,300 | 01:13:01,255 | In other words, | In other words, |
1280 | 01:13:01,420 | 01:13:02,614 | I'm wasting my time here with a fucking assistant? | I'm wasting my time here with a fucking assistant? |
1281 | 01:13:02,820 | 01:13:04,048 | I want to speak to Saint Peter; | I want to speak to Saint Peter; |
1282 | 01:13:04,220 | 01:13:07,530 | I want Saint Peter here immediately! | I want Saint Peter here immediately! |
1283 | 01:13:08,100 | 01:13:09,613 | St. Peter is on leave. | St. Peter is on leave. |
1284 | 01:13:10,260 | 01:13:11,215 | He's had a breakdown | He's had a breakdown |
1285 | 01:13:11,420 | 01:13:13,217 | and doesn't even remember his own name. | and doesn't even remember his own name. |
1286 | 01:13:13,820 | 01:13:17,893 | But the most fucked up thing about it is that he blames me for it. | But the most fucked up thing about it is that he blames me for it. |
1287 | 01:13:19,100 | 01:13:22,297 | Fuck, shit happens. | Fuck, shit happens. |
1288 | 01:13:24,780 | 01:13:26,736 | But wait, what's my deal then; | But wait, what's my deal then; |
1289 | 01:13:26,980 | 01:13:29,778 | am I dead or do I have to go back down? | am I dead or do I have to go back down? |
1290 | 01:13:30,460 | 01:13:34,373 | The day you will have to come to heaven has not yet come. | The day you will have to come to heaven has not yet come. |
1291 | 01:13:34,700 | 01:13:36,770 | And because of the things you are doing, | And because of the things you are doing, |
1292 | 01:13:36,940 | 01:13:38,692 | I don't think you're ever going to make it. | I don't think you're ever going to make it. |
1293 | 01:13:39,380 | 01:13:44,738 | It's true. I'm a thug and I deserve nothing. | It's true. I'm a thug and I deserve nothing. |
1294 | 01:13:44,900 | 01:13:46,538 | And I don't even deserve the ground I step on | And I don't even deserve the ground I step on |
1295 | 01:13:46,700 | 01:13:48,372 | or the air I breathe. | or the air I breathe. |
1296 | 01:13:48,780 | 01:13:51,977 | Punish me, punish me, | Punish me, punish me, |
1297 | 01:13:52,220 | 01:13:54,575 | hit me with your cane on this side of my head | hit me with your cane on this side of my head |
1298 | 01:13:54,820 | 01:13:55,775 | where it hurts most. | where it hurts most. |
1299 | 01:13:55,940 | 01:13:58,170 | Aggressions are not allowed in heaven. | Aggressions are not allowed in heaven. |
1300 | 01:13:59,300 | 01:14:01,860 | But since you ask me to. Take that! | But since you ask me to. Take that! |
1301 | 01:14:04,780 | 01:14:08,693 | Fuck, what is that, solid oak or quincewood? | Fuck, what is that, solid oak or quincewood? |
1302 | 01:14:08,900 | 01:14:12,859 | And now go in peace and carry out your mission. | And now go in peace and carry out your mission. |
1303 | 01:14:13,660 | 01:14:17,892 | Leave here and go to a monastery, to the quietest one you find, | Leave here and go to a monastery, to the quietest one you find, |
1304 | 01:14:18,060 | 01:14:23,771 | and quit fucking everyone around! | and quit fucking everyone around! |
1305 | 01:14:24,220 | 01:14:26,893 | Okay, okay. Can I kiss your hand? | Okay, okay. Can I kiss your hand? |
1306 | 01:14:27,060 | 01:14:29,210 | No, don't be such a pussy! | No, don't be such a pussy! |
1307 | 01:14:30,180 | 01:14:33,092 | Let me tell ya, fella! | Let me tell ya, fella! |
1308 | 01:14:34,260 | 01:14:37,138 | Do you want me to give your son a message? | Do you want me to give your son a message? |
1309 | 01:14:38,060 | 01:14:39,891 | Tell him that one day | Tell him that one day |
1310 | 01:14:40,060 | 01:14:43,416 | he'll be a great man because he'll go... | he'll be a great man because he'll go... |
1311 | 01:14:44,780 | 01:14:46,896 | Wait, I didn't get that last part. | Wait, I didn't get that last part. |
1312 | 01:14:47,460 | 01:14:50,736 | Isn't there a piece of paper around to jot down a little note? | Isn't there a piece of paper around to jot down a little note? |
1313 | 01:14:52,820 | 01:14:54,856 | Fuck, you all here in heaven live like Gods, | Fuck, you all here in heaven live like Gods, |
1314 | 01:14:55,420 | 01:14:56,648 | two-ply and everything. | two-ply and everything. |
1315 | 01:14:56,900 | 01:14:58,299 | What was that... | What was that... |
1316 | 01:15:00,500 | 01:15:03,856 | Farewell, little lassy. | Farewell, little lassy. |
1317 | 01:15:08,260 | 01:15:12,970 | The constellation Booties... was your favorite. | The constellation Booties... was your favorite. |
1318 | 01:15:14,180 | 01:15:15,579 | I'm sorry Zeze. | I'm sorry Zeze. |
1319 | 01:15:16,180 | 01:15:18,614 | I shouldn't have given you so many shockes. | I shouldn't have given you so many shockes. |
1320 | 01:15:19,860 | 01:15:21,851 | Now you're in a coma | Now you're in a coma |
1321 | 01:15:22,140 | 01:15:25,098 | and your lighter might go out at any time now. | and your lighter might go out at any time now. |
1322 | 01:15:25,700 | 01:15:27,213 | You're my best friend | You're my best friend |
1323 | 01:15:27,460 | 01:15:30,338 | and now you're just a body lying on a hospital bed, | and now you're just a body lying on a hospital bed, |
1324 | 01:15:30,740 | 01:15:35,894 | with tubes in your nose and drains all over the place. | with tubes in your nose and drains all over the place. |
1325 | 01:15:37,980 | 01:15:39,129 | It's not fair. | It's not fair. |
1326 | 01:15:40,300 | 01:15:43,656 | Where am I going to find another friend like you? | Where am I going to find another friend like you? |
1327 | 01:15:45,420 | 01:15:48,730 | Because friends like you don't just fall out of the sky... | Because friends like you don't just fall out of the sky... |
1328 | 01:15:55,380 | 01:15:58,099 | Zeze? It worked! | Zeze? It worked! |
1329 | 01:15:59,500 | 01:16:04,893 | Hot chicks, money, and crates of beer don't just fall out of the sky. | Hot chicks, money, and crates of beer don't just fall out of the sky. |
1330 | 01:16:05,820 | 01:16:07,014 | I'm all fucked up. | I'm all fucked up. |
1331 | 01:16:07,500 | 01:16:10,492 | Jesus, I shouldn't have said the words the same way. | Jesus, I shouldn't have said the words the same way. |
1332 | 01:16:10,860 | 01:16:14,091 | Zeze, what happened to you, where have you been? | Zeze, what happened to you, where have you been? |
1333 | 01:16:14,260 | 01:16:17,935 | Don't ask me stupid questions! | Don't ask me stupid questions! |
1334 | 01:16:18,620 | 01:16:20,815 | But weren't you in a coma? - No. | But weren't you in a coma? - No. |
1335 | 01:16:20,980 | 01:16:22,971 | So then I'd better split before you start beating me. | So then I'd better split before you start beating me. |
1336 | 01:16:23,140 | 01:16:25,779 | Wait. The one who's gonna split is me. | Wait. The one who's gonna split is me. |
1337 | 01:16:26,180 | 01:16:29,889 | I come from the world of the dead and I'm a new man. | I come from the world of the dead and I'm a new man. |
1338 | 01:16:30,500 | 01:16:32,377 | I'm only interested in the spiritual. | I'm only interested in the spiritual. |
1339 | 01:16:32,540 | 01:16:34,849 | Material things do not matter to me at all. | Material things do not matter to me at all. |
1340 | 01:16:35,020 | 01:16:36,135 | Give me your car keys. | Give me your car keys. |
1341 | 01:16:36,380 | 01:16:39,417 | What keys? I've hot-wired it ever since I bought it. | What keys? I've hot-wired it ever since I bought it. |
1342 | 01:16:40,460 | 01:16:43,896 | Let me tell ya, fella! I'm outta here, friend. | Let me tell ya, fella! I'm outta here, friend. |
1343 | 01:16:44,060 | 01:16:45,698 | You'll never see me again. | You'll never see me again. |
1344 | 01:16:45,900 | 01:16:49,210 | I'm going to a monastery because the faith is calling me. | I'm going to a monastery because the faith is calling me. |
1345 | 01:16:49,500 | 01:16:50,455 | The caf� is too? | The caf� is too? |
1346 | 01:16:50,620 | 01:16:51,814 | No, the faith is calling me. | No, the faith is calling me. |
1347 | 01:16:52,140 | 01:16:53,095 | Without coffee. | Without coffee. |
1348 | 01:16:54,380 | 01:16:55,335 | Yes, without coffee. | Yes, without coffee. |
1349 | 01:16:56,020 | 01:16:58,136 | It's true, your father sent me | It's true, your father sent me |
1350 | 01:16:58,820 | 01:17:02,290 | to tell you that you will be a great man | to tell you that you will be a great man |
1351 | 01:17:02,700 | 01:17:04,895 | because you are going to save... | because you are going to save... |
1352 | 01:17:06,780 | 01:17:10,011 | What are you talking about? | What are you talking about? |
1353 | 01:17:10,580 | 01:17:13,378 | I said your father sent me to tell you that one day, | I said your father sent me to tell you that one day, |
1354 | 01:17:13,580 | 01:17:15,298 | you will be a great man because you'll go to... | you will be a great man because you'll go to... |
1355 | 01:17:17,020 | 01:17:18,339 | Why am I going where? | Why am I going where? |
1356 | 01:17:18,500 | 01:17:20,456 | Jesus fucking Christ! I didn't hear a goddamn thing! | Jesus fucking Christ! I didn't hear a goddamn thing! |
1357 | 01:17:21,940 | 01:17:25,296 | UPON NIGHTFALL | UPON NIGHTFALL |
1358 | 01:17:31,180 | 01:17:35,458 | Zeze, where is my father? What the fuck were you saying? | Zeze, where is my father? What the fuck were you saying? |
1359 | 01:17:35,700 | 01:17:38,453 | Toni, if you want to look for your father, | Toni, if you want to look for your father, |
1360 | 01:17:38,700 | 01:17:40,975 | you have to look inside yourself, | you have to look inside yourself, |
1361 | 01:17:41,220 | 01:17:43,734 | but then afterwards outside as well... | but then afterwards outside as well... |
1362 | 01:17:43,940 | 01:17:45,817 | he might be outside. | he might be outside. |
1363 | 01:17:46,020 | 01:17:48,488 | Enough Chinese proverbs, goddammit. | Enough Chinese proverbs, goddammit. |
1364 | 01:17:49,220 | 01:17:51,051 | Alright, what is it you want, Toni? | Alright, what is it you want, Toni? |
1365 | 01:17:51,580 | 01:17:54,890 | Do you want to read the writings that your father left for you? | Do you want to read the writings that your father left for you? |
1366 | 01:17:55,140 | 01:17:56,414 | If they existed. | If they existed. |
1367 | 01:17:56,660 | 01:17:58,935 | Exist they do exist, it's just that... | Exist they do exist, it's just that... |
1368 | 01:17:59,100 | 01:18:03,298 | Of course they don't. How absurd. | Of course they don't. How absurd. |
1369 | 01:18:03,580 | 01:18:05,377 | In your father's days, there wasn't even paper. | In your father's days, there wasn't even paper. |
1370 | 01:18:05,820 | 01:18:09,176 | They all wrote everything in cave walls. | They all wrote everything in cave walls. |
1371 | 01:18:09,780 | 01:18:11,657 | Like those cave paintings in Altamira. | Like those cave paintings in Altamira. |
1372 | 01:18:11,940 | 01:18:14,659 | Do you get it? But that doesn't interest anyone. | Do you get it? But that doesn't interest anyone. |
1373 | 01:18:14,900 | 01:18:17,130 | They usually flood it all so people won't read it. | They usually flood it all so people won't read it. |
1374 | 01:18:17,300 | 01:18:20,053 | Zeze, I know very well there was paper, | Zeze, I know very well there was paper, |
1375 | 01:18:20,220 | 01:18:22,859 | because my mother said that my father used up | because my mother said that my father used up |
1376 | 01:18:23,100 | 01:18:28,128 | seven trees of toilet paper every time he sat on the can. | seven trees of toilet paper every time he sat on the can. |
1377 | 01:18:28,380 | 01:18:30,052 | Toilet paper isn't paper. | Toilet paper isn't paper. |
1378 | 01:18:30,380 | 01:18:36,899 | Zeze, give me those papers. I'll give you everything you want. | Zeze, give me those papers. I'll give you everything you want. |
1379 | 01:18:37,100 | 01:18:38,249 | I'm not for sale. | I'm not for sale. |
1380 | 01:18:39,260 | 01:18:40,295 | Everything, everything? | Everything, everything? |
1381 | 01:18:40,620 | 01:18:44,215 | What is it you want, jewels, amethyst, sapphire, rubies? | What is it you want, jewels, amethyst, sapphire, rubies? |
1382 | 01:18:44,380 | 01:18:47,099 | No, I don't want immaterial things. | No, I don't want immaterial things. |
1383 | 01:18:47,300 | 01:18:50,929 | I'll settle for a blanket and some garlic soup, | I'll settle for a blanket and some garlic soup, |
1384 | 01:18:51,180 | 01:18:53,216 | two desert grasshoppers... | two desert grasshoppers... |
1385 | 01:18:53,540 | 01:18:55,132 | Do you want ingots of gold? | Do you want ingots of gold? |
1386 | 01:18:55,380 | 01:18:59,168 | Cause I'll take my car and crash it into the Bank of Portugal! | Cause I'll take my car and crash it into the Bank of Portugal! |
1387 | 01:18:59,340 | 01:19:00,295 | No. | No. |
1388 | 01:19:00,460 | 01:19:02,416 | I know. You want luxury cars? | I know. You want luxury cars? |
1389 | 01:19:02,580 | 01:19:03,535 | No. | No. |
1390 | 01:19:03,700 | 01:19:05,292 | Zeze, what about one of those mansions | Zeze, what about one of those mansions |
1391 | 01:19:05,500 | 01:19:10,290 | with pure, fourteen kilowatt gold doors? | with pure, fourteen kilowatt gold doors? |
1392 | 01:19:10,500 | 01:19:23,618 | No, no, Toni, I want something more simple, something symbolic. | No, no, Toni, I want something more simple, something symbolic. |
1393 | 01:19:23,900 | 01:19:26,494 | Golly this is starting to be a guessing game | Golly this is starting to be a guessing game |
1394 | 01:19:26,780 | 01:19:29,214 | like Trivial Samsonite. | like Trivial Samsonite. |
1395 | 01:19:29,700 | 01:19:36,811 | Toni, I just want your friendship. | Toni, I just want your friendship. |
1396 | 01:19:38,420 | 01:19:39,773 | Friend. | Friend. |
1397 | 01:19:43,300 | 01:19:44,779 | ... and little more. | ... and little more. |
1398 | 01:19:49,540 | 01:19:53,453 | Toni, do you remember the debt we have with the Lambretas? | Toni, do you remember the debt we have with the Lambretas? |
1399 | 01:19:53,740 | 01:19:54,695 | Sort of. | Sort of. |
1400 | 01:19:55,700 | 01:19:59,932 | I'm a saintly man and I cannot take on debts. | I'm a saintly man and I cannot take on debts. |
1401 | 01:20:00,340 | 01:20:04,777 | It's heresy. If you paid debt, we'd be left in... | It's heresy. If you paid debt, we'd be left in... |
1402 | 01:20:05,140 | 01:20:07,335 | And that way I'd learn about the messages from my father? | And that way I'd learn about the messages from my father? |
1403 | 01:20:07,700 | 01:20:08,735 | That too. | That too. |
1404 | 01:20:10,540 | 01:20:12,690 | Zeze, you're not going to believe it. | Zeze, you're not going to believe it. |
1405 | 01:20:12,940 | 01:20:13,895 | Of course not. | Of course not. |
1406 | 01:20:14,260 | 01:20:16,057 | But I've already paid off the Lambretas debt. | But I've already paid off the Lambretas debt. |
1407 | 01:20:16,380 | 01:20:19,099 | And so if that's the problem, it's already taken care of. | And so if that's the problem, it's already taken care of. |
1408 | 01:20:19,420 | 01:20:21,092 | Come on, tell me what my father said... | Come on, tell me what my father said... |
1409 | 01:20:21,660 | 01:20:24,732 | Wait, how did you pay off the debt? | Wait, how did you pay off the debt? |
1410 | 01:20:24,940 | 01:20:27,613 | If you don't even have money to buy bread. | If you don't even have money to buy bread. |
1411 | 01:20:27,780 | 01:20:30,738 | Well, with my collection of antique glazed whisky bottles. | Well, with my collection of antique glazed whisky bottles. |
1412 | 01:20:31,140 | 01:20:32,095 | No. | No. |
1413 | 01:20:32,260 | 01:20:33,215 | Yes. | Yes. |
1414 | 01:20:33,380 | 01:20:34,574 | No. - Yes. | No. - Yes. |
1415 | 01:20:34,820 | 01:20:39,496 | But I thought you were going to keep that bottle collection | But I thought you were going to keep that bottle collection |
1416 | 01:20:39,700 | 01:20:40,815 | for your little daughter's wedding! | for your little daughter's wedding! |
1417 | 01:20:40,980 | 01:20:44,450 | Forget it, she's uglier than a retread tire. | Forget it, she's uglier than a retread tire. |
1418 | 01:20:44,620 | 01:20:47,418 | And I'm telling you, | And I'm telling you, |
1419 | 01:20:47,580 | 01:20:51,573 | you don't owe anyone anything, especially me. | you don't owe anyone anything, especially me. |
1420 | 01:20:51,980 | 01:20:53,049 | Alright, what is it you want, man? | Alright, what is it you want, man? |
1421 | 01:20:53,220 | 01:20:56,929 | I'm a softie and I'll give you everything I have. | I'm a softie and I'll give you everything I have. |
1422 | 01:20:57,180 | 01:20:58,499 | You're a good man. | You're a good man. |
1423 | 01:20:58,740 | 01:20:59,809 | To say nothing bad about you. | To say nothing bad about you. |
1424 | 01:21:00,740 | 01:21:02,492 | If I'd known, I'd have asked for something else. | If I'd known, I'd have asked for something else. |
1425 | 01:21:02,700 | 01:21:06,295 | Come on, that's enough. Let's get on about my father. | Come on, that's enough. Let's get on about my father. |
1426 | 01:21:15,940 | 01:21:17,214 | What box is that, Zeze? | What box is that, Zeze? |
1427 | 01:21:18,180 | 01:21:21,331 | That's not a box. It's a chest. | That's not a box. It's a chest. |
1428 | 01:21:21,540 | 01:21:22,495 | We're going to see | We're going to see |
1429 | 01:21:22,700 | 01:21:24,133 | if they have frozen veggie soup and fish sticks. | if they have frozen veggie soup and fish sticks. |
1430 | 01:21:24,940 | 01:21:26,134 | This fucking torch keeps dripping off shit, | This fucking torch keeps dripping off shit, |
1431 | 01:21:26,300 | 01:21:27,779 | goddammit. | goddammit. |
1432 | 01:21:27,940 | 01:21:28,895 | Fuck it! | Fuck it! |
1433 | 01:21:38,420 | 01:21:41,173 | Toni, this chest contains | Toni, this chest contains |
1434 | 01:21:41,380 | 01:21:44,656 | what you have been looking for for so long. | what you have been looking for for so long. |
1435 | 01:21:44,820 | 01:21:46,094 | The football sticker collection? | The football sticker collection? |
1436 | 01:21:46,420 | 01:21:47,375 | No, dumbfuck. | No, dumbfuck. |
1437 | 01:21:47,860 | 01:21:49,816 | The Pokemon collection? | The Pokemon collection? |
1438 | 01:21:50,180 | 01:21:57,734 | No, your father's writings. The last message he gave you is here. | No, your father's writings. The last message he gave you is here. |
1439 | 01:21:58,060 | 01:21:59,049 | Great! | Great! |
1440 | 01:22:00,540 | 01:22:01,655 | Toni, did you fart? | Toni, did you fart? |
1441 | 01:22:01,820 | 01:22:02,809 | Not now. | Not now. |
1442 | 01:22:03,220 | 01:22:04,892 | It's just that it smells like rotten old man, | It's just that it smells like rotten old man, |
1443 | 01:22:05,100 | 01:22:06,055 | what the fuck did you eat? | what the fuck did you eat? |
1444 | 01:22:06,300 | 01:22:08,097 | Some corn nuts and a beer. | Some corn nuts and a beer. |
1445 | 01:22:08,260 | 01:22:09,215 | Actually the truth is, | Actually the truth is, |
1446 | 01:22:09,540 | 01:22:13,613 | the one who ate the corn nuts was Popeye. | the one who ate the corn nuts was Popeye. |
1447 | 01:22:14,580 | 01:22:18,175 | Toni, there's something strange here, don't you feel it? | Toni, there's something strange here, don't you feel it? |
1448 | 01:22:20,220 | 01:22:23,371 | Zeze, I don't want to bear false witness, | Zeze, I don't want to bear false witness, |
1449 | 01:22:23,540 | 01:22:27,977 | but do you happen to have an extinguisher or water? | but do you happen to have an extinguisher or water? |
1450 | 01:22:28,300 | 01:22:29,528 | Now you're thirsty? | Now you're thirsty? |
1451 | 01:22:29,700 | 01:22:32,214 | Thirsty no, there's a lack of moisture. | Thirsty no, there's a lack of moisture. |
1452 | 01:22:32,420 | 01:22:33,933 | And now you want moisture? | And now you want moisture? |
1453 | 01:22:34,100 | 01:22:40,096 | Go climb up the mountain and jump down the well, why don't ya! | Go climb up the mountain and jump down the well, why don't ya! |
1454 | 01:22:40,300 | 01:22:41,415 | In other words, no water at all then? | In other words, no water at all then? |
1455 | 01:22:41,580 | 01:22:43,093 | None. You're pissing me off, and now what? | None. You're pissing me off, and now what? |
1456 | 01:22:43,340 | 01:22:45,729 | Now let it burn and let God's will be done. | Now let it burn and let God's will be done. |
1457 | 01:22:45,900 | 01:22:47,015 | But let what burn? | But let what burn? |
1458 | 01:22:47,580 | 01:22:48,569 | Your suit. | Your suit. |
1459 | 01:22:49,820 | 01:22:52,129 | Toni, I'm burning up here | Toni, I'm burning up here |
1460 | 01:22:52,420 | 01:22:55,378 | and you don't say anything? | and you don't say anything? |
1461 | 01:22:55,620 | 01:22:58,259 | I didn't want you to get upset. | I didn't want you to get upset. |
1462 | 01:22:58,420 | 01:22:59,375 | Water, water! | Water, water! |
1463 | 01:22:59,540 | 01:23:00,893 | You see, you're upset. | You see, you're upset. |
1464 | 01:23:01,140 | 01:23:03,529 | Put it out, anyway you can! | Put it out, anyway you can! |
1465 | 01:23:04,580 | 01:23:05,899 | What if I piss on it? | What if I piss on it? |
1466 | 01:23:06,540 | 01:23:09,691 | Yeah, good idea, but make it quick. | Yeah, good idea, but make it quick. |
1467 | 01:23:10,340 | 01:23:13,093 | Goddammit, the chest is also burning. | Goddammit, the chest is also burning. |
1468 | 01:23:13,340 | 01:23:14,739 | And I'm not sure I have enough liquid for everything, | And I'm not sure I have enough liquid for everything, |
1469 | 01:23:14,900 | 01:23:16,299 | I'm not a human tanker! | I'm not a human tanker! |
1470 | 01:23:16,460 | 01:23:18,098 | Toni, don't you dare. | Toni, don't you dare. |
1471 | 01:23:18,500 | 01:23:22,209 | Now piss on me or I'll beat you to a pulp! | Now piss on me or I'll beat you to a pulp! |
1472 | 01:23:22,620 | 01:23:24,451 | I don't know what to do. | I don't know what to do. |
1473 | 01:23:24,620 | 01:23:27,418 | My father's writings will be lost forever. | My father's writings will be lost forever. |
1474 | 01:23:27,740 | 01:23:35,249 | The T and the O, To. The N and the I, Ni. | The T and the O, To. The N and the I, Ni. |
1475 | 01:23:35,460 | 01:23:39,499 | To... Ni... | To... Ni... |
1476 | 01:23:43,980 | 01:23:45,299 | What a relief! | What a relief! |
1477 | 01:23:48,620 | 01:23:50,019 | Thank you, friend. | Thank you, friend. |
1478 | 01:23:53,700 | 01:23:57,136 | What you've done is proof of great friendship. | What you've done is proof of great friendship. |
1479 | 01:23:57,940 | 01:24:01,489 | I don't know if I would have done the same for you. Give me a hug... | I don't know if I would have done the same for you. Give me a hug... |
1480 | 01:24:01,660 | 01:24:05,369 | No, don't hug me. Gross. We'd best get outta here. | No, don't hug me. Gross. We'd best get outta here. |
1481 | 01:24:05,820 | 01:24:08,050 | You're right, let's go. | You're right, let's go. |
1482 | 01:24:20,700 | 01:24:23,294 | Let's go Tonimobile, save your owner, | Let's go Tonimobile, save your owner, |
1483 | 01:24:23,460 | 01:24:27,055 | just like he's saved you so many times. Come on! | just like he's saved you so many times. Come on! |
1484 | 01:24:40,220 | 01:24:41,175 | I know. | I know. |
1485 | 01:24:41,340 | 01:24:42,329 | What? | What? |
1486 | 01:24:42,500 | 01:24:44,650 | I know what it was your father said. | I know what it was your father said. |
1487 | 01:24:45,340 | 01:24:46,375 | And so, the chest? | And so, the chest? |
1488 | 01:24:46,540 | 01:24:48,212 | Forget the goddamn chest, it doesn't matter. | Forget the goddamn chest, it doesn't matter. |
1489 | 01:24:48,420 | 01:24:49,899 | The important thing is what your father told me. | The important thing is what your father told me. |
1490 | 01:24:50,260 | 01:24:55,050 | Your father said that you'd prove to be a great man. | Your father said that you'd prove to be a great man. |
1491 | 01:24:55,700 | 01:24:56,655 | No. | No. |
1492 | 01:24:56,820 | 01:24:59,414 | Yes, and you'd save a great friend of yours | Yes, and you'd save a great friend of yours |
1493 | 01:24:59,580 | 01:25:00,854 | from certain death, | from certain death, |
1494 | 01:25:01,060 | 01:25:03,893 | and leave behind everything that meant most to you. | and leave behind everything that meant most to you. |
1495 | 01:25:06,220 | 01:25:07,175 | Zeze! | Zeze! |
1496 | 01:25:07,420 | 01:25:08,455 | Toni! | Toni! |
1497 | 01:25:12,980 | 01:25:14,015 | What joy! | What joy! |
1498 | 01:25:14,860 | 01:25:17,135 | Now all I need to know is who that friend | Now all I need to know is who that friend |
1499 | 01:25:17,300 | 01:25:19,256 | I'm going to save from certain death is, | I'm going to save from certain death is, |
1500 | 01:25:19,500 | 01:25:22,219 | leaving behind everything that means the most. | leaving behind everything that means the most. |
1501 | 01:25:22,500 | 01:25:23,728 | Who might that guy be? | Who might that guy be? |
1502 | 01:25:24,620 | 01:25:27,373 | Zeze, I have to go, my friend. | Zeze, I have to go, my friend. |
1503 | 01:25:27,660 | 01:25:30,015 | Because if my father says that that is my fate, | Because if my father says that that is my fate, |
1504 | 01:25:30,340 | 01:25:33,730 | I have to travel the world in search of the man I have to save. | I have to travel the world in search of the man I have to save. |
1505 | 01:25:33,980 | 01:25:36,448 | He must be pissed off waiting for me. | He must be pissed off waiting for me. |
1506 | 01:25:36,700 | 01:25:45,130 | Toni, but what about your home and our neighborhood? | Toni, but what about your home and our neighborhood? |
1507 | 01:25:45,340 | 01:25:49,015 | Everyone is waiting to celebrate my return. | Everyone is waiting to celebrate my return. |
1508 | 01:25:49,300 | 01:25:51,416 | Zeze, I haven't been back to the neighborhood in one month, | Zeze, I haven't been back to the neighborhood in one month, |
1509 | 01:25:51,700 | 01:25:53,179 | and now I'll make the most of it | and now I'll make the most of it |
1510 | 01:25:53,380 | 01:25:56,019 | and be four or five years without setting foot there. | and be four or five years without setting foot there. |
1511 | 01:25:56,420 | 01:25:58,650 | You haven't been to the neighborhood in one month? | You haven't been to the neighborhood in one month? |
1512 | 01:25:58,900 | 01:26:01,175 | Of course, one month has passed | Of course, one month has passed |
1513 | 01:26:01,340 | 01:26:03,649 | and we haven't paid the Lambretas debt. | and we haven't paid the Lambretas debt. |
1514 | 01:26:03,900 | 01:26:08,416 | If they find us, they are going to beat the shit outta ya. | If they find us, they are going to beat the shit outta ya. |
1515 | 01:26:08,620 | 01:26:09,894 | Boy, is that a good one! | Boy, is that a good one! |
1516 | 01:26:10,060 | 01:26:11,288 | But you told me back there that you'd paid it off. | But you told me back there that you'd paid it off. |
1517 | 01:26:11,660 | 01:26:13,571 | I told lots of lies before that message | I told lots of lies before that message |
1518 | 01:26:13,780 | 01:26:15,771 | that transformed me into a serious man. | that transformed me into a serious man. |
1519 | 01:26:16,900 | 01:26:19,334 | Goodbye, let me tellya, fella! | Goodbye, let me tellya, fella! |
1520 | 01:26:19,980 | 01:26:24,451 | Friend, whoever it is you are and however far you go, | Friend, whoever it is you are and however far you go, |
1521 | 01:26:24,740 | 01:26:28,619 | be it Sintra, Cascais, Estoril... | be it Sintra, Cascais, Estoril... |
1522 | 01:26:29,140 | 01:26:31,654 | get ready because Toni is here to the rescue. | get ready because Toni is here to the rescue. |
1523 | 01:26:35,540 | 01:26:38,373 | High ho Silver! | High ho Silver! |
1524 | 01:26:44,580 | 01:26:47,140 | TO BE CONTINUED... | TO BE CONTINUED... |