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1 | 00:00:06,573 | 00:00:11,573 | ♪ FROZEN IN A TIME AND SPACE DIVIDE ♪ | ♪ FROZEN IN A TIME AND SPACE DIVIDE ♪ |
2 | 00:00:14,715 | 00:00:19,715 | ♪ BUT HOW WOULD THE UNIVERSE SURVIVE ♪ | ♪ BUT HOW WOULD THE UNIVERSE SURVIVE ♪ |
3 | 00:00:22,390 | 00:00:27,390 | ♪ DUCK DODGERS OF THE 24th AND 1/2 CENTURY ♪ | ♪ DUCK DODGERS OF THE 24th AND 1/2 CENTURY ♪ |
4 | 00:00:32,333 | 00:00:37,333 | ♪ PROTECTING THE POWERLESS AND THE WEAK ♪ | ♪ PROTECTING THE POWERLESS AND THE WEAK ♪ |
5 | 00:00:39,173 | 00:00:44,173 | ♪ DUCK DODGERS IS FIGHTING TYRANNY ♪ | ♪ DUCK DODGERS IS FIGHTING TYRANNY ♪ |
6 | 00:00:47,915 | 00:00:52,915 | ♪ IN THE 24th AND 1/2 CENTURY ♪ | ♪ IN THE 24th AND 1/2 CENTURY ♪ |
7 | 00:01:16,277 | 00:01:19,446 | - SO, HOW MANY MILLIONS OF MY ADORING FANS VISITED | - SO, HOW MANY MILLIONS OF MY ADORING FANS VISITED |
8 | 00:01:19,513 | 00:01:22,116 | MY FAN SITE TODAY? | MY FAN SITE TODAY? |
9 | 00:01:22,183 | 00:01:25,786 | HMM. THE COUNTER'S STILL BROKEN. | HMM. THE COUNTER'S STILL BROKEN. |
10 | 00:01:25,853 | 00:01:27,154 | OOH, A POP-UP AD. | OOH, A POP-UP AD. |
11 | 00:01:27,221 | 00:01:29,957 | BOY, THESE BABIES MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE. | BOY, THESE BABIES MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE. |
12 | 00:01:30,024 | 00:01:32,460 | AM INTERESTED IN WINNING A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF GARBAGE | AM INTERESTED IN WINNING A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF GARBAGE |
13 | 00:01:32,527 | 00:01:35,796 | FROM MY FRIENDS AT TRASH THRASH GARBAGE COMPACTORS? | FROM MY FRIENDS AT TRASH THRASH GARBAGE COMPACTORS? |
14 | 00:01:35,863 | 00:01:37,531 | YOU BET I AM! | YOU BET I AM! |
15 | 00:01:37,598 | 00:01:39,833 | - C-CAPTAIN DODGERS, STOP! | - C-CAPTAIN DODGERS, STOP! |
16 | 00:01:39,900 | 00:01:41,869 | ONLINE CONTESTS ARE ALL SCAMS. | ONLINE CONTESTS ARE ALL SCAMS. |
17 | 00:01:41,936 | 00:01:43,271 | YOU SIGN UP TO WIN A SPACE CRUISE, | YOU SIGN UP TO WIN A SPACE CRUISE, |
18 | 00:01:43,337 | 00:01:45,005 | AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU'RE ENLISTED, | AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU'RE ENLISTED, |
19 | 00:01:45,072 | 00:01:49,476 | WORKING A DEAD-END MILITARY JOB IN SPACE FOR NO PAY. | WORKING A DEAD-END MILITARY JOB IN SPACE FOR NO PAY. |
20 | 00:01:49,543 | 00:01:51,845 | I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT I HEAR. | I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT I HEAR. |
21 | 00:01:51,912 | 00:01:53,514 | - YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS, CADET? | - YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS, CADET? |
22 | 00:01:53,581 | 00:01:56,683 | - THAT I SURROUND MYSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO DON'T APPRECIATE ME? | - THAT I SURROUND MYSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO DON'T APPRECIATE ME? |
23 | 00:01:56,750 | 00:01:59,486 | - NO, YOU ARE AFRAID OF COMPETION. | - NO, YOU ARE AFRAID OF COMPETION. |
24 | 00:01:59,553 | 00:02:01,122 | NOT ME. I THRIVE ON IT. | NOT ME. I THRIVE ON IT. |
25 | 00:02:01,188 | 00:02:04,825 | WHEN IT COMES TO CONTESTS, I'M DOG EAT DOG. | WHEN IT COMES TO CONTESTS, I'M DOG EAT DOG. |
26 | 00:02:04,892 | 00:02:08,028 | HOW ELSE COULD WE HAVE WON ALL THAT DIET DOG FOOD? | HOW ELSE COULD WE HAVE WON ALL THAT DIET DOG FOOD? |
27 | 00:02:08,095 | 00:02:10,530 | - YEAH, BUT WE DON'T HAVE A FAT D-D... | - YEAH, BUT WE DON'T HAVE A FAT D-D... |
28 | 00:02:10,597 | 00:02:11,565 | WE DON'T HAVE A DOG. | WE DON'T HAVE A DOG. |
29 | 00:02:11,632 | 00:02:13,234 | - IT'S NOT ABOUT THE PRIZE. | - IT'S NOT ABOUT THE PRIZE. |
30 | 00:02:13,301 | 00:02:16,137 | IT'S ABOUT WINNING. WINNING IS ALL THAT MATTERS! | IT'S ABOUT WINNING. WINNING IS ALL THAT MATTERS! |
31 | 00:02:16,203 | 00:02:20,241 | ACTUALLY, THAT'S NOT TRUE. THE PRIZE IS JUST AS IMPORTANT. | ACTUALLY, THAT'S NOT TRUE. THE PRIZE IS JUST AS IMPORTANT. |
32 | 00:02:20,308 | 00:02:22,509 | - JUST BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE OPPOSING OTHERS IN CONTESTS | - JUST BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE OPPOSING OTHERS IN CONTESTS |
33 | 00:02:22,576 | 00:02:24,678 | OF SKILL AND CHANCE DOESN'T MEAN | OF SKILL AND CHANCE DOESN'T MEAN |
34 | 00:02:24,745 | 00:02:27,380 | I'M NOT A COMPETI...COMPETI... | I'M NOT A COMPETI...COMPETI... |
35 | 00:02:27,447 | 00:02:30,284 | NEVER MIND. | NEVER MIND. |
36 | 00:02:30,351 | 00:02:34,021 | - VAN CHANCY'S MEGA MYSTERY GRAND PRIZE SWEEPSTAKES. | - VAN CHANCY'S MEGA MYSTERY GRAND PRIZE SWEEPSTAKES. |
37 | 00:02:34,088 | 00:02:37,324 | A CHANCE TO WIN AN UNKNOWN PRIZE I MAY NOT EVEN WANT? | A CHANCE TO WIN AN UNKNOWN PRIZE I MAY NOT EVEN WANT? |
38 | 00:02:37,390 | 00:02:39,126 | COUNT ME IN! | COUNT ME IN! |
39 | 00:02:39,193 | 00:02:44,143 | HEY, I MUST BE AN INSTANT WINNER! | HEY, I MUST BE AN INSTANT WINNER! |
40 | 00:02:46,567 | 00:02:50,137 | - SINGLE, HANDSOME MAN OF SCIENCE SEEKS ROMANCE. | - SINGLE, HANDSOME MAN OF SCIENCE SEEKS ROMANCE. |
41 | 00:02:50,204 | 00:02:53,073 | SHOULD ENJOY QUANTUM MECHANICS, NUCLEAR FUSION, | SHOULD ENJOY QUANTUM MECHANICS, NUCLEAR FUSION, |
42 | 00:02:53,140 | 00:02:55,943 | FLYING KITES, AND RUBBER GLOVES. | FLYING KITES, AND RUBBER GLOVES. |
43 | 00:02:56,010 | 00:02:58,612 | WELL, THAT SHOULD BRING THEM RUNNING. | WELL, THAT SHOULD BRING THEM RUNNING. |
44 | 00:02:58,679 | 00:03:01,949 | MYSTERY GRAND PRIZE SWEEPSTAKES. | MYSTERY GRAND PRIZE SWEEPSTAKES. |
45 | 00:03:02,016 | 00:03:06,966 | WELL, I AM FEELING KIND OF LUCKY. | WELL, I AM FEELING KIND OF LUCKY. |
46 | 00:03:08,255 | 00:03:12,126 | - HM, AUTHENTIC MARTIAN QUEEN PERSONAL POSSESSIONS. | - HM, AUTHENTIC MARTIAN QUEEN PERSONAL POSSESSIONS. |
47 | 00:03:12,193 | 00:03:14,995 | WAIT! HOW DID THEY GET MY TOOTHBRUSH? | WAIT! HOW DID THEY GET MY TOOTHBRUSH? |
48 | 00:03:15,062 | 00:03:18,365 | AND WHY ISN'T ANYONE BIDDING ON IT? | AND WHY ISN'T ANYONE BIDDING ON IT? |
49 | 00:03:18,431 | 00:03:19,499 | SWEEPSTAKES. | SWEEPSTAKES. |
50 | 00:03:19,566 | 00:03:21,435 | WELL, I'M ALREADY RICH, | WELL, I'M ALREADY RICH, |
51 | 00:03:21,501 | 00:03:24,404 | SO I'M A LOCK TO WIN. | SO I'M A LOCK TO WIN. |
52 | 00:03:24,471 | 00:03:26,107 | - DEAR MOTHER, | - DEAR MOTHER, |
53 | 00:03:26,173 | 00:03:28,075 | I KNOW YOU ASK ME NOT TO WRITE TO YOU SO MUCH, | I KNOW YOU ASK ME NOT TO WRITE TO YOU SO MUCH, |
54 | 00:03:28,142 | 00:03:30,878 | BUT IT'S BEEN HOURS SINCE I HEARD FROM YOU LAST, | BUT IT'S BEEN HOURS SINCE I HEARD FROM YOU LAST, |
55 | 00:03:30,945 | 00:03:34,414 | AND I'M STARTING TO WORRY. | AND I'M STARTING TO WORRY. |
56 | 00:03:34,481 | 00:03:37,218 | IS THAT YOU, MOTHER? | IS THAT YOU, MOTHER? |
57 | 00:03:37,285 | 00:03:39,453 | - HE WRITES TO HIS MOTHER CONSTANTLY. | - HE WRITES TO HIS MOTHER CONSTANTLY. |
58 | 00:03:39,519 | 00:03:41,919 | IT'S DISTURBING. | IT'S DISTURBING. |
59 | 00:03:47,995 | 00:03:52,995 | - HMM! I'LL SHOW HIM WHO'S AFRAID. | - HMM! I'LL SHOW HIM WHO'S AFRAID. |
60 | 00:04:00,107 | 00:04:04,457 | - LOOK, CADET. I THINK I WON. | - LOOK, CADET. I THINK I WON. |
61 | 00:04:09,950 | 00:04:11,252 | - HELLO, AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION | - HELLO, AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION |
62 | 00:04:11,319 | 00:04:14,488 | OF THE GALAXY'S NUMBER-ONE GAME SHOW, | OF THE GALAXY'S NUMBER-ONE GAME SHOW, |
63 | 00:04:14,554 | 00:04:17,024 | VAN CHANCY'S "NOT A CHANCE!" | VAN CHANCY'S "NOT A CHANCE!" |
64 | 00:04:17,091 | 00:04:19,593 | I'M YOUR HOST, VAN CHANCY! | I'M YOUR HOST, VAN CHANCY! |
65 | 00:04:19,660 | 00:04:22,129 | - WOW! IT'S VAN CHANCY. | - WOW! IT'S VAN CHANCY. |
66 | 00:04:22,196 | 00:04:24,564 | I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THIS GUY. | I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THIS GUY. |
67 | 00:04:24,631 | 00:04:27,367 | - SO, WE'RE ON A TV SHOW? | - SO, WE'RE ON A TV SHOW? |
68 | 00:04:27,434 | 00:04:29,036 | - THAT DEPENDS. | - THAT DEPENDS. |
69 | 00:04:29,103 | 00:04:31,405 | DO YOU NEED CAMERAS TO MAKE A TV SHOW? | DO YOU NEED CAMERAS TO MAKE A TV SHOW? |
70 | 00:04:31,472 | 00:04:34,908 | - YOUR HIGHNESS, MY SENSORS INDICATE NO CAMERAS ARE PRESENT. | - YOUR HIGHNESS, MY SENSORS INDICATE NO CAMERAS ARE PRESENT. |
71 | 00:04:34,975 | 00:04:38,179 | - YES, I KNOW. TRY TO KEEP UP, GUYS. | - YES, I KNOW. TRY TO KEEP UP, GUYS. |
72 | 00:04:38,245 | 00:04:41,415 | - TODAY, BITTER RIVALS FROM MARS AND EARTH WILL FACE OFF | - TODAY, BITTER RIVALS FROM MARS AND EARTH WILL FACE OFF |
73 | 00:04:41,482 | 00:04:46,482 | FOR A CHANCE TO WIN THE MEGA MYSTERY GRAND PRIZE! | FOR A CHANCE TO WIN THE MEGA MYSTERY GRAND PRIZE! |
74 | 00:04:46,620 | 00:04:48,289 | IT COULD BE ANYTHING... | IT COULD BE ANYTHING... |
75 | 00:04:48,356 | 00:04:50,191 | A YEAR'S WORTH OF PLASTIC DOG VOMIT | A YEAR'S WORTH OF PLASTIC DOG VOMIT |
76 | 00:04:50,257 | 00:04:55,095 | OR AN OCTRILLION DOLLARS IN ASTROCASH! | OR AN OCTRILLION DOLLARS IN ASTROCASH! |
77 | 00:04:55,162 | 00:04:58,398 | - DOG VOMIT. OH, PLEASE, LET IT BE THE DOG VOMIT! | - DOG VOMIT. OH, PLEASE, LET IT BE THE DOG VOMIT! |
78 | 00:04:58,465 | 00:04:59,733 | - HA HA HA HA HA! | - HA HA HA HA HA! |
79 | 00:04:59,800 | 00:05:03,237 | LET'S MEET OUR CONTESTANTS. | LET'S MEET OUR CONTESTANTS. |
80 | 00:05:03,304 | 00:05:05,005 | WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SWEETHEART? | WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SWEETHEART? |
81 | 00:05:05,072 | 00:05:07,474 | - I AM THE QUEEN OF MARS. | - I AM THE QUEEN OF MARS. |
82 | 00:05:07,541 | 00:05:08,709 | I DEMAND... | I DEMAND... |
83 | 00:05:08,775 | 00:05:11,545 | - MMM. | - MMM. |
84 | 00:05:11,611 | 00:05:13,080 | - HOW DARE YOU! | - HOW DARE YOU! |
85 | 00:05:13,147 | 00:05:14,882 | - LET'S MEET THE OTHER TEAM! | - LET'S MEET THE OTHER TEAM! |
86 | 00:05:14,948 | 00:05:18,385 | AND WHAT'S YOUR NA...HEY, HEY! - MMM. | AND WHAT'S YOUR NA...HEY, HEY! - MMM. |
87 | 00:05:18,451 | 00:05:19,319 | - AAH! | - AAH! |
88 | 00:05:19,386 | 00:05:20,454 | OK, GREAT. | OK, GREAT. |
89 | 00:05:20,521 | 00:05:23,757 | AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THESE COMMERCIALS. | AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THESE COMMERCIALS. |
90 | 00:05:23,824 | 00:05:25,326 | ONE MORE STUNT LIKE THAT | ONE MORE STUNT LIKE THAT |
91 | 00:05:25,393 | 00:05:28,062 | AND YOU ARE ALL GOING HOME IN AN ENVELOPE! | AND YOU ARE ALL GOING HOME IN AN ENVELOPE! |
92 | 00:05:28,128 | 00:05:32,166 | THIS IS MY SHOW! GOT IT? MY SHOW! | THIS IS MY SHOW! GOT IT? MY SHOW! |
93 | 00:05:32,233 | 00:05:34,301 | DO YOU THINK I LIKE DOING THIS? | DO YOU THINK I LIKE DOING THIS? |
94 | 00:05:34,368 | 00:05:38,439 | DO YOU THINK I ENJOY TAKING PEOPLE CAPTIVE | DO YOU THINK I ENJOY TAKING PEOPLE CAPTIVE |
95 | 00:05:38,506 | 00:05:42,710 | AND ENDANGERING THEIR LIVES FOR CHEAP THRILLS AND RATINGS? | AND ENDANGERING THEIR LIVES FOR CHEAP THRILLS AND RATINGS? |
96 | 00:05:42,777 | 00:05:47,514 | DO YOU THINK I WANT TO LET THIS CYCLOPS SAUTE AND EAT YOU? | DO YOU THINK I WANT TO LET THIS CYCLOPS SAUTE AND EAT YOU? |
97 | 00:05:47,581 | 00:05:48,982 | - YES, ACROSS THE BOARD? | - YES, ACROSS THE BOARD? |
98 | 00:05:49,049 | 00:05:52,286 | - CORRECT. THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME VAN CHANCY... | - CORRECT. THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME VAN CHANCY... |
99 | 00:05:52,353 | 00:05:57,353 | BED-WETTER AND HOST OF THE UNIVERSE'S NUMBER-ONE GAME SHOW. | BED-WETTER AND HOST OF THE UNIVERSE'S NUMBER-ONE GAME SHOW. |
100 | 00:05:58,325 | 00:06:01,895 | - WELCOME BACK. THE CHALLENGES AWAITING OUR CONTESTANTS TODAY | - WELCOME BACK. THE CHALLENGES AWAITING OUR CONTESTANTS TODAY |
101 | 00:06:01,962 | 00:06:05,032 | ARE SO TERRIFYING, EVEN I'M SHAKING. | ARE SO TERRIFYING, EVEN I'M SHAKING. |
102 | 00:06:05,099 | 00:06:07,567 | WILL ANY OF THEM SURVIVE? | WILL ANY OF THEM SURVIVE? |
103 | 00:06:07,634 | 00:06:09,703 | - NOT A CHANCE! | - NOT A CHANCE! |
104 | 00:06:09,770 | 00:06:12,606 | - SO, LET'S START THE CARNAGE! | - SO, LET'S START THE CARNAGE! |
105 | 00:06:12,672 | 00:06:15,575 | - IT'S ABOUT TIME. | - IT'S ABOUT TIME. |
106 | 00:06:15,642 | 00:06:16,977 | - OUR FIRST CHALLENGE IS | - OUR FIRST CHALLENGE IS |
107 | 00:06:17,044 | 00:06:19,079 | THE RAGING RAPIDS RIVER RACE OF RUIN. | THE RAGING RAPIDS RIVER RACE OF RUIN. |
108 | 00:06:19,146 | 00:06:21,081 | THE TEAM THAT ELUDES THE MAGNETIC MINES, | THE TEAM THAT ELUDES THE MAGNETIC MINES, |
109 | 00:06:21,148 | 00:06:22,483 | MAKES IT THROUGH THE RAPIDS, | MAKES IT THROUGH THE RAPIDS, |
110 | 00:06:22,550 | 00:06:25,719 | OVER THE WATERFALLS, AND ACROSS THE FINISH LINE FIRST | OVER THE WATERFALLS, AND ACROSS THE FINISH LINE FIRST |
111 | 00:06:25,786 | 00:06:27,821 | WITHOUT DROWNING OR EXPLODING | WITHOUT DROWNING OR EXPLODING |
112 | 00:06:27,888 | 00:06:28,822 | WINS 10 POINTS. | WINS 10 POINTS. |
113 | 00:06:28,889 | 00:06:31,625 | - HA, YOU CALL THAT A CHALLENGE? | - HA, YOU CALL THAT A CHALLENGE? |
114 | 00:06:31,691 | 00:06:34,728 | - OH, I'M A GOOD KAYAKER. | - OH, I'M A GOOD KAYAKER. |
115 | 00:06:34,795 | 00:06:37,064 | - IS THAT ALL, FOLKS? | - IS THAT ALL, FOLKS? |
116 | 00:06:37,131 | 00:06:39,681 | NOT...A...CHANCE! | NOT...A...CHANCE! |
117 | 00:06:48,309 | 00:06:50,777 | - YOU'RE IN THE LEAD... WHAT'S GOING THROUGH | - YOU'RE IN THE LEAD... WHAT'S GOING THROUGH |
118 | 00:06:50,844 | 00:06:53,314 | YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW? | YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW? |
119 | 00:06:53,381 | 00:06:57,351 | - ACTUALLY, VAN, RIGHT NOW I'M THINKING ABOUT... | - ACTUALLY, VAN, RIGHT NOW I'M THINKING ABOUT... |
120 | 00:06:57,418 | 00:07:02,068 | BUTTERFLIES. THEY CREEP ME OUT. | BUTTERFLIES. THEY CREEP ME OUT. |
121 | 00:07:03,790 | 00:07:05,859 | HELP! BUTTERFLIES! | HELP! BUTTERFLIES! |
122 | 00:07:05,926 | 00:07:07,576 | HELP! HELP! | HELP! HELP! |
123 | 00:07:17,238 | 00:07:18,506 | - YOU JUST EXPLODED. | - YOU JUST EXPLODED. |
124 | 00:07:18,573 | 00:07:20,207 | WHAT'S GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW? | WHAT'S GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW? |
125 | 00:07:20,274 | 00:07:23,210 | - GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! | - GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! |
126 | 00:07:23,277 | 00:07:26,127 | - WE HAVE A WINNER! | - WE HAVE A WINNER! |
127 | 00:07:29,816 | 00:07:31,419 | - GOOD GAME, CONTESTANTS. | - GOOD GAME, CONTESTANTS. |
128 | 00:07:31,485 | 00:07:33,487 | 10 POINTS TO TEAM EARTH FOR WINNING, | 10 POINTS TO TEAM EARTH FOR WINNING, |
129 | 00:07:33,554 | 00:07:36,056 | ONE POINT FOR BOTH TEAMS FOR NOT BEING SLAUGHTERED OR EATEN, | ONE POINT FOR BOTH TEAMS FOR NOT BEING SLAUGHTERED OR EATEN, |
130 | 00:07:36,123 | 00:07:38,259 | AND 12 POINTS FOR ME FOR BEING FASCINATING. | AND 12 POINTS FOR ME FOR BEING FASCINATING. |
131 | 00:07:38,325 | 00:07:43,325 | WE'LL RETURN AFTER THESE THIEVING LIES. | WE'LL RETURN AFTER THESE THIEVING LIES. |
132 | 00:07:43,464 | 00:07:46,267 | YOU HAVE 3 MINUTES TO SHAPE UP AND GO TO THE LAVATORY. | YOU HAVE 3 MINUTES TO SHAPE UP AND GO TO THE LAVATORY. |
133 | 00:07:46,333 | 00:07:49,136 | - EWW! I CAN STILL FEEL ITS BUTTERY WINGS | - EWW! I CAN STILL FEEL ITS BUTTERY WINGS |
134 | 00:07:49,203 | 00:07:51,338 | ALL OVER MY SKIN. EWW! | ALL OVER MY SKIN. EWW! |
135 | 00:07:51,405 | 00:07:53,574 | - CADET, IF WE SURVIVE THIS INSANITY, | - CADET, IF WE SURVIVE THIS INSANITY, |
136 | 00:07:53,641 | 00:07:56,477 | I'M HAVING DODGERS COMMITTED FOR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION. | I'M HAVING DODGERS COMMITTED FOR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION. |
137 | 00:07:56,544 | 00:07:59,380 | - BUT, SIR, WITHOUT DODGERS, WE WOULDN'T BE WINNING. | - BUT, SIR, WITHOUT DODGERS, WE WOULDN'T BE WINNING. |
138 | 00:07:59,447 | 00:08:02,516 | - GOOD POINT. IF WE SURVIVE THIS, I'M HAVING DODGERS CLONED | - GOOD POINT. IF WE SURVIVE THIS, I'M HAVING DODGERS CLONED |
139 | 00:08:02,583 | 00:08:05,620 | AND THEN COMMITTED FOR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION. | AND THEN COMMITTED FOR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION. |
140 | 00:08:05,686 | 00:08:08,556 | - EATING CHALLENGES, WE'VE ALL SEEN THEM, HAVEN'T WE? | - EATING CHALLENGES, WE'VE ALL SEEN THEM, HAVEN'T WE? |
141 | 00:08:08,623 | 00:08:12,627 | HORSE INTESTINES, FISH EYES, LIVE WALRUS, FRUIT. | HORSE INTESTINES, FISH EYES, LIVE WALRUS, FRUIT. |
142 | 00:08:12,693 | 00:08:14,295 | - BLAH! - ONE OF HIS BUTTONS | - BLAH! - ONE OF HIS BUTTONS |
143 | 00:08:14,361 | 00:08:16,230 | MUST OPEN A PORTAL OUT OF HERE. | MUST OPEN A PORTAL OUT OF HERE. |
144 | 00:08:16,297 | 00:08:19,333 | IF WE PUSH ALL HIS BUTTONS AT ONCE, WE CAN ESCAPE. | IF WE PUSH ALL HIS BUTTONS AT ONCE, WE CAN ESCAPE. |
145 | 00:08:19,400 | 00:08:22,269 | - I THINK SOMEBODY ALREADY PUSHED ALL HIS BUTTONS. | - I THINK SOMEBODY ALREADY PUSHED ALL HIS BUTTONS. |
146 | 00:08:22,336 | 00:08:25,473 | - AND I THINK SOMEBODY'S AFRAID OF LOSING. | - AND I THINK SOMEBODY'S AFRAID OF LOSING. |
147 | 00:08:25,539 | 00:08:30,244 | - NO, DODGERS, WE'RE HOSTAGES. OUR LIVES ARE IN JEOPARDY. | - NO, DODGERS, WE'RE HOSTAGES. OUR LIVES ARE IN JEOPARDY. |
148 | 00:08:30,311 | 00:08:32,612 | - AND YOU'RE LOSING. | - AND YOU'RE LOSING. |
149 | 00:08:32,679 | 00:08:34,815 | - ONLY BY 10 POINTS. | - ONLY BY 10 POINTS. |
150 | 00:08:34,881 | 00:08:38,218 | I'M A GOOD EATER. | I'M A GOOD EATER. |
151 | 00:08:38,285 | 00:08:40,754 | BUT HERE'S THE ONE THING WE HAVEN'T SEEN | BUT HERE'S THE ONE THING WE HAVEN'T SEEN |
152 | 00:08:40,821 | 00:08:43,556 | OUR CONTESTANTS EAT YET... | OUR CONTESTANTS EAT YET... |
153 | 00:08:43,623 | 00:08:45,159 | THEMSELVES! | THEMSELVES! |
154 | 00:08:45,225 | 00:08:46,961 | THAT'S RIGHT. THE TEAM THAT EATS A HELPING | THAT'S RIGHT. THE TEAM THAT EATS A HELPING |
155 | 00:08:47,028 | 00:08:49,697 | OF ONE OF ITS OWN TEAM MEMBERS WINS 10 POINTS. | OF ONE OF ITS OWN TEAM MEMBERS WINS 10 POINTS. |
156 | 00:08:49,764 | 00:08:52,232 | NO MUSTARD ALLOWED. ENJOY YOUR MEAL! | NO MUSTARD ALLOWED. ENJOY YOUR MEAL! |
157 | 00:08:52,299 | 00:08:57,137 | UNLESS YOU ARE THE MEAL! | UNLESS YOU ARE THE MEAL! |
158 | 00:08:57,204 | 00:08:58,806 | - UH, CAPTAIN, W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING? | - UH, CAPTAIN, W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING? |
159 | 00:08:58,873 | 00:09:00,608 | - SOMEBODY HAS TO TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM. | - SOMEBODY HAS TO TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM. |
160 | 00:09:00,675 | 00:09:03,410 | I FIGURE IT'S YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE LOWEST RANK. | I FIGURE IT'S YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE LOWEST RANK. |
161 | 00:09:03,477 | 00:09:05,712 | PLUS, YOU'RE PROBABLY DARNED GOOD EATING. | PLUS, YOU'RE PROBABLY DARNED GOOD EATING. |
162 | 00:09:05,779 | 00:09:06,913 | AM I RIGHT, I.Q.? | AM I RIGHT, I.Q.? |
163 | 00:09:06,980 | 00:09:08,549 | - WELL, HE DOES HAVE A POINT. | - WELL, HE DOES HAVE A POINT. |
164 | 00:09:08,616 | 00:09:10,384 | - B-BUT PLEASE DON'T EAT ME! | - B-BUT PLEASE DON'T EAT ME! |
165 | 00:09:10,451 | 00:09:12,619 | - NOW, ARE YOUR LEGS LIGHT OR DARK MEAT? | - NOW, ARE YOUR LEGS LIGHT OR DARK MEAT? |
166 | 00:09:12,686 | 00:09:14,488 | - AAH! | - AAH! |
167 | 00:09:14,555 | 00:09:17,124 | - AS MUCH AS I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A CANNIBAL, | - AS MUCH AS I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A CANNIBAL, |
168 | 00:09:17,191 | 00:09:18,626 | I'M STILL A LITTLE IFFY ON THIS. | I'M STILL A LITTLE IFFY ON THIS. |
169 | 00:09:18,693 | 00:09:22,696 | - YOUR HIGHNESS, EAT AS MUCH OF ME AS YOU WISH. | - YOUR HIGHNESS, EAT AS MUCH OF ME AS YOU WISH. |
170 | 00:09:22,762 | 00:09:23,897 | IT WOULD BE AN HONOR. | IT WOULD BE AN HONOR. |
171 | 00:09:23,964 | 00:09:25,399 | - WAIT, YOUR HIGHNESS, | - WAIT, YOUR HIGHNESS, |
172 | 00:09:25,466 | 00:09:28,369 | I BELIEVE THE ANSWER IS RIGHT UNDER OUR NOSES. | I BELIEVE THE ANSWER IS RIGHT UNDER OUR NOSES. |
173 | 00:09:28,435 | 00:09:30,937 | - COMMANDER, WE DON'T HAVE NOSES. | - COMMANDER, WE DON'T HAVE NOSES. |
174 | 00:09:31,004 | 00:09:32,939 | - PRECISELY, MY QUEEN. | - PRECISELY, MY QUEEN. |
175 | 00:09:33,006 | 00:09:35,209 | UH, WE'RE FINISHED OVER HERE. | UH, WE'RE FINISHED OVER HERE. |
176 | 00:09:35,275 | 00:09:37,010 | - ALREADY? BUT WHAT DID YOU EAT? | - ALREADY? BUT WHAT DID YOU EAT? |
177 | 00:09:37,077 | 00:09:38,745 | - OUR NOSES. | - OUR NOSES. |
178 | 00:09:38,812 | 00:09:39,913 | - AND MOUTHS. | - AND MOUTHS. |
179 | 00:09:39,980 | 00:09:41,548 | - AND LEGS. | - AND LEGS. |
180 | 00:09:41,614 | 00:09:42,750 | - WORKS FOR ME! | - WORKS FOR ME! |
181 | 00:09:42,817 | 00:09:46,253 | WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THE SHAMELESS FRAUDULENCE. | WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THE SHAMELESS FRAUDULENCE. |
182 | 00:09:46,320 | 00:09:47,655 | - OH, NOW WE'RE TIED WITH THEM. | - OH, NOW WE'RE TIED WITH THEM. |
183 | 00:09:47,722 | 00:09:50,324 | - DON'T WORRY, CHIEF. WE'LL WIN THE NEXT ONE | - DON'T WORRY, CHIEF. WE'LL WIN THE NEXT ONE |
184 | 00:09:50,391 | 00:09:55,391 | AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T INVOLVE ROLLER SKATES. | AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T INVOLVE ROLLER SKATES. |
185 | 00:09:58,833 | 00:10:02,470 | - WELCOME TO THE PRESIDENTIAL ROLLER DERBY CHALLENGE! | - WELCOME TO THE PRESIDENTIAL ROLLER DERBY CHALLENGE! |
186 | 00:10:02,536 | 00:10:04,505 | THE FIRST PLAYER TO MAKE IT AROUND THE TRACK ALIVE | THE FIRST PLAYER TO MAKE IT AROUND THE TRACK ALIVE |
187 | 00:10:04,572 | 00:10:06,574 | MOVES ON TO THE FINAL ROUND FOR DELOUSING | MOVES ON TO THE FINAL ROUND FOR DELOUSING |
188 | 00:10:06,641 | 00:10:10,544 | AND A CHANCE AT THE MYSTERY PRIZE. | AND A CHANCE AT THE MYSTERY PRIZE. |
189 | 00:10:10,611 | 00:10:13,581 | AND YOU'LL COMPETE AGAINST THEM TO SURVIVE. | AND YOU'LL COMPETE AGAINST THEM TO SURVIVE. |
190 | 00:10:13,648 | 00:10:16,651 | CLONED ENTIRELY FROM FOSSILIZED DNA, | CLONED ENTIRELY FROM FOSSILIZED DNA, |
191 | 00:10:16,717 | 00:10:20,688 | YOU KNOW THEM AS THE LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN PRESIDENTS! | YOU KNOW THEM AS THE LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN PRESIDENTS! |
192 | 00:10:20,755 | 00:10:23,791 | SAY HELLO TO MARTIN "RED FOX OF KINDERHOOK" VAN BUREN, | SAY HELLO TO MARTIN "RED FOX OF KINDERHOOK" VAN BUREN, |
193 | 00:10:23,858 | 00:10:28,858 | GROVER "UNCLE JUMBO" CLEVELAND, WILLIAM "TIPPECANOE" HARRISON, | GROVER "UNCLE JUMBO" CLEVELAND, WILLIAM "TIPPECANOE" HARRISON, |
194 | 00:10:28,929 | 00:10:32,829 | AND JOHN "TYLER II" TYLER! | AND JOHN "TYLER II" TYLER! |
195 | 00:10:35,302 | 00:10:36,903 | - ARE YOU SURE THEY WERE PRESIDENTS? | - ARE YOU SURE THEY WERE PRESIDENTS? |
196 | 00:10:36,970 | 00:10:38,972 | I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THEM. | I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THEM. |
197 | 00:10:39,039 | 00:10:40,907 | - READY, SET, | - READY, SET, |
198 | 00:10:40,974 | 00:10:42,924 | ROLLER DERBY! | ROLLER DERBY! |
199 | 00:10:46,980 | 00:10:51,018 | - WHOA! WHOA! WHOA... | - WHOA! WHOA! WHOA... |
200 | 00:10:51,084 | 00:10:55,884 | - WE HAVE AN UNDESERVING WINNER! | - WE HAVE AN UNDESERVING WINNER! |
201 | 00:10:56,490 | 00:11:00,027 | - CAPTAIN DODGERS, THIS IS THE FINAL ROUND. | - CAPTAIN DODGERS, THIS IS THE FINAL ROUND. |
202 | 00:11:00,093 | 00:11:01,562 | YOU MUST CHOOSE BETWEEN: | YOU MUST CHOOSE BETWEEN: |
203 | 00:11:01,629 | 00:11:03,531 | A...THE LIVES OF YOUR FELLOW CONTESTANTS | A...THE LIVES OF YOUR FELLOW CONTESTANTS |
204 | 00:11:03,597 | 00:11:08,101 | OR B...THE MEGA MYSTERY GRAND PRIZE! | OR B...THE MEGA MYSTERY GRAND PRIZE! |
205 | 00:11:08,168 | 00:11:10,204 | - OH, THAT'S TOUGH. | - OH, THAT'S TOUGH. |
206 | 00:11:10,270 | 00:11:11,671 | WAIT. WHAT WERE THE CHOICES AGAIN? | WAIT. WHAT WERE THE CHOICES AGAIN? |
207 | 00:11:11,738 | 00:11:13,707 | - A! A! A! | - A! A! A! |
208 | 00:11:13,773 | 00:11:17,444 | - A OR B. | - A OR B. |
209 | 00:11:17,511 | 00:11:19,580 | - "A" WAS THE PRIZE, RIGHT? | - "A" WAS THE PRIZE, RIGHT? |
210 | 00:11:19,647 | 00:11:21,816 | - NO. THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE, FOLKS! | - NO. THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE, FOLKS! |
211 | 00:11:21,883 | 00:11:23,617 | TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR MORE THRILLING, | TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR MORE THRILLING, |
212 | 00:11:23,684 | 00:11:27,054 | TREACHEROUS, EMPTY CHALLENGES ON ANOTHER EDITION OF... | TREACHEROUS, EMPTY CHALLENGES ON ANOTHER EDITION OF... |
213 | 00:11:27,120 | 00:11:29,789 | - "NOT A CHANCE!" | - "NOT A CHANCE!" |
214 | 00:11:29,856 | 00:11:31,806 | - GOOD NIGHT! | - GOOD NIGHT! |
215 | 00:11:39,433 | 00:11:41,535 | - WELL, THAT WAS A BIG WASTE OF TIME. | - WELL, THAT WAS A BIG WASTE OF TIME. |
216 | 00:11:41,602 | 00:11:43,671 | I WON IT ALL, AND I GOT NOTHING. | I WON IT ALL, AND I GOT NOTHING. |
217 | 00:11:43,738 | 00:11:47,307 | YOU KNOW, MAYBE WINNING PRIZES ISN'T SO GREAT AFTER ALL. | YOU KNOW, MAYBE WINNING PRIZES ISN'T SO GREAT AFTER ALL. |
218 | 00:11:47,374 | 00:11:49,410 | MAYBE IF I WORK HARD TO EARN THINGS, | MAYBE IF I WORK HARD TO EARN THINGS, |
219 | 00:11:49,476 | 00:11:51,144 | I'LL APPRECIATE THEM MORE. | I'LL APPRECIATE THEM MORE. |
220 | 00:11:51,211 | 00:11:55,711 | MAYBE...WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING? | MAYBE...WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING? |
221 | 00:11:59,019 | 00:12:00,554 | - EH, "C-CONGRATULATIONS. | - EH, "C-CONGRATULATIONS. |
222 | 00:12:00,621 | 00:12:03,056 | "YOU'VE WON THE TRASH THRASH GARBAGE COMPACTOR | "YOU'VE WON THE TRASH THRASH GARBAGE COMPACTOR |
223 | 00:12:03,123 | 00:12:04,057 | "GARBAGE GIVEAWAY. | "GARBAGE GIVEAWAY. |
224 | 00:12:04,124 | 00:12:06,059 | ENJOY YOUR GARBAGE, CHUMP." | ENJOY YOUR GARBAGE, CHUMP." |
225 | 00:12:06,126 | 00:12:07,595 | - FORGET WHAT I JUST SAID. | - FORGET WHAT I JUST SAID. |
226 | 00:12:07,661 | 00:12:10,130 | DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT ALL THIS GARBAGE MAKES US? | DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT ALL THIS GARBAGE MAKES US? |
227 | 00:12:10,197 | 00:12:12,032 | - EH, GARBAGE MEN? | - EH, GARBAGE MEN? |
228 | 00:12:12,099 | 00:12:15,435 | - NO. GARBAGE WINNERS! | - NO. GARBAGE WINNERS! |