# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:01,356 00:00:03,107 Hey. Hey.
2 00:00:03,191 00:00:05,777 I brought you some breakfast as a peace offering. I brought you some breakfast as a peace offering.
3 00:00:07,111 00:00:08,696 Food here is a little tricky. Food here is a little tricky.
4 00:00:08,780 00:00:10,657 It's just a closet full of beef jerky. It's just a closet full of beef jerky.
5 00:00:10,740 00:00:13,326 Apparently, Macho Man Randy Savage was an alum here, Apparently, Macho Man Randy Savage was an alum here,
6 00:00:13,409 00:00:17,288 and he left his entire food supply to Ron in his will, so, and he left his entire food supply to Ron in his will, so,
7 00:00:17,372 00:00:20,583 snap into a Slim Jim? snap into a Slim Jim?
8 00:00:20,667 00:00:22,335 - Care to join me for breakfast? - Care to join me for breakfast?
9 00:00:22,418 00:00:24,170 - Of course. - Of course.
10 00:00:24,254 00:00:27,215 Jerky for two. Jerky for two.
11 00:00:27,298 00:00:30,468 Um... look, Um... look,
12 00:00:30,552 00:00:33,721 I wanted to apologize. I wanted to apologize.
13 00:00:33,805 00:00:35,723 You know, I didn't mean to... - Stab me? You know, I didn't mean to... - Stab me?
14 00:00:35,807 00:00:37,600 - Well, I wasn't gonna use those words. - Well, I wasn't gonna use those words.
15 00:00:37,684 00:00:40,061 Look, Ron-Ron is crazy. Look, Ron-Ron is crazy.
16 00:00:40,144 00:00:42,689 I'm serious. He's-he's nuts. I'm serious. He's-he's nuts.
17 00:00:42,772 00:00:44,649 Sick-in-the-head crazy. Sick-in-the-head crazy.
18 00:00:44,732 00:00:47,193 And I'm convinced that that motherfucker killed And I'm convinced that that motherfucker killed
19 00:00:47,277 00:00:48,695 a dude named Rodrigo. a dude named Rodrigo.
20 00:00:48,778 00:00:50,154 And the motherfucker tried to kill me And the motherfucker tried to kill me
21 00:00:50,238 00:00:51,948 just for being around his office. just for being around his office.
22 00:00:52,031 00:00:55,118 And as far as your arm goes, I know you think I'm lying... And as far as your arm goes, I know you think I'm lying...
23 00:00:55,201 00:00:56,536 I heard "retractable." I heard "retractable."
24 00:00:56,619 00:00:58,997 - You know, I've dated guys like you before. - You know, I've dated guys like you before.
25 00:00:59,080 00:01:00,832 It's always someone else's fault. It's always someone else's fault.
26 00:01:00,915 00:01:02,750 - That's not true. - That's not true.
27 00:01:02,834 00:01:04,669 That's not true at all. When I'm wrong, I... That's not true at all. When I'm wrong, I...
28 00:01:04,752 00:01:06,629 I shouldn't say that 'cause I'm never wrong. I shouldn't say that 'cause I'm never wrong.
29 00:01:06,713 00:01:08,423 If... if I'm wrong, If... if I'm wrong,
30 00:01:08,506 00:01:10,550 I have no problem admitting that I'm wrong. I have no problem admitting that I'm wrong.
31 00:01:10,633 00:01:14,012 But in this case, I'm not. He said "retractable." But in this case, I'm not. He said "retractable."
32 00:01:14,095 00:01:17,974 - Hey, part of me is glad you stabbed me. - Hey, part of me is glad you stabbed me.
33 00:01:18,057 00:01:20,184 It's a badge of honor. It's a badge of honor.
34 00:01:20,268 00:01:22,854 I heard when Jason Statham came through here, I heard when Jason Statham came through here,
35 00:01:22,937 00:01:24,898 he got stabbed directly in the heart. he got stabbed directly in the heart.
36 00:01:24,981 00:01:26,191 - Did he survive that? - Did he survive that?
37 00:01:26,274 00:01:28,359 - He shot Transporter, like, a week later. - He shot Transporter, like, a week later.
38 00:01:28,443 00:01:30,236 - What the fuck? - What the fuck?
39 00:01:30,320 00:01:31,946 In the heart? They stabbed him in the heart? In the heart? They stabbed him in the heart?
40 00:01:32,030 00:01:33,948 - Yep, right through it. - Goddamn it. - Yep, right through it. - Goddamn it.
41 00:01:34,032 00:01:36,284 Maybe I'm just doing the wrong fucking thing here. Maybe I'm just doing the wrong fucking thing here.
42 00:01:36,367 00:01:38,244 I mean... I mean...
43 00:01:38,328 00:01:40,622 ...maybe this just isn't for me, you know? ...maybe this just isn't for me, you know?
44 00:01:40,705 00:01:42,582 - So, just leave. - So, just leave.
45 00:01:42,665 00:01:44,834 Go home. I'm sure there's Go home. I'm sure there's
46 00:01:44,918 00:01:47,212 a real hero somewhere in need of a goofy sidekick. a real hero somewhere in need of a goofy sidekick.
47 00:01:47,295 00:01:48,838 - Okay, uh, that backfired. - Okay, uh, that backfired.
48 00:01:48,922 00:01:50,715 I thought that you would go the opposite direction I thought that you would go the opposite direction
49 00:01:50,798 00:01:53,009 and tell me that, no, I should stay, and tell me that, no, I should stay,
50 00:01:53,092 00:01:55,178 and that this is for me. and that this is for me.
51 00:01:55,261 00:01:56,679 That's what I... thought... That's what I... thought...
52 00:01:56,763 00:01:58,181 - Well, what do you want me to say? - Well, what do you want me to say?
53 00:01:58,264 00:02:00,683 If you need extra motivation to be the star If you need extra motivation to be the star
54 00:02:00,767 00:02:03,061 of a Claude Van De Velde movie... of a Claude Van De Velde movie...
55 00:02:03,144 00:02:05,063 uh, you're in the wrong business. uh, you're in the wrong business.
56 00:02:05,146 00:02:09,400 This is probably my only shot to be a big action star, so This is probably my only shot to be a big action star, so
57 00:02:09,484 00:02:11,402 I'm not gonna blow it. I'm not gonna blow it.
58 00:02:11,486 00:02:13,321 I'll do anything it takes. I'll do anything it takes.
59 00:02:16,824 00:02:19,035 - You're right. - You're right.
60 00:02:19,118 00:02:22,372 You are absolutely right. You are absolutely right.
61 00:02:22,455 00:02:24,791 I need to stop all the bitching and moaning, I need to stop all the bitching and moaning,
62 00:02:24,874 00:02:26,668 and I need to cowboy the fuck up. and I need to cowboy the fuck up.
63 00:02:26,751 00:02:29,546 - There you go. - There you go.
64 00:02:36,427 00:02:38,680 - When I first started in the business, - When I first started in the business,
65 00:02:38,763 00:02:40,390 training action stars, training action stars,
66 00:02:40,473 00:02:42,809 every stunt scene was practical. every stunt scene was practical.
67 00:02:42,892 00:02:45,979 Or, as Kevin might say, "retractable." Or, as Kevin might say, "retractable."
68 00:02:46,062 00:02:47,856 - Oh, that's really good. That's great. - Oh, that's really good. That's great.
69 00:02:47,939 00:02:50,316 It's not funny. - But the industry has changed. It's not funny. - But the industry has changed.
70 00:02:50,400 00:02:52,527 You can't even be an action star without, You can't even be an action star without,
71 00:02:52,610 00:02:54,028 well, knowing how to work green. well, knowing how to work green.
72 00:02:54,112 00:02:56,489 - Uh, I'm very familiar with the green screen. - Uh, I'm very familiar with the green screen.
73 00:02:56,573 00:02:57,907 I mean, I've done about 15 movies I mean, I've done about 15 movies
74 00:02:57,991 00:02:59,701 where we've had a green screen. where we've had a green screen.
75 00:02:59,784 00:03:02,161 - In which of those 15 movies were you the leading man? - In which of those 15 movies were you the leading man?
76 00:03:02,245 00:03:04,789 Any idiot can jump on a green screen Any idiot can jump on a green screen
77 00:03:04,873 00:03:07,625 and pretend to be eaten by a CG dragon. and pretend to be eaten by a CG dragon.
78 00:03:07,709 00:03:09,335 Hell, even Little Kevin can do that. Hell, even Little Kevin can do that.
79 00:03:09,419 00:03:10,795 - Oh, hell no! - Oh, hell no!
80 00:03:10,879 00:03:13,423 - Okay, who's finding the time to dress him like me? - Okay, who's finding the time to dress him like me?
81 00:03:13,506 00:03:15,091 It's really... - Okay, question. It's really... - Okay, question.
82 00:03:15,174 00:03:17,802 What does a leading woman or a leading man What does a leading woman or a leading man
83 00:03:17,886 00:03:20,972 get to do on-screen that sidekicks don't? get to do on-screen that sidekicks don't?
84 00:03:21,055 00:03:23,057 - Win fights. - Uh, murder bad guys. - Win fights. - Uh, murder bad guys.
85 00:03:23,141 00:03:24,434 - Make love. - Make love.
86 00:03:25,310 00:03:27,812 Today's lesson is in lovemaking. Today's lesson is in lovemaking.
87 00:03:27,896 00:03:29,147 - Yes! - Yes!
88 00:03:29,230 00:03:30,398 On the green screen? On the green screen?
89 00:03:30,481 00:03:32,066 Are we doing it on the green screen? Are we doing it on the green screen?
90 00:03:32,150 00:03:33,568 - Bingo. - Nice. - Bingo. - Nice.
91 00:03:33,651 00:03:36,779 Adding effects to the bed, to the wall, just cracking 'em. Adding effects to the bed, to the wall, just cracking 'em.
92 00:03:36,863 00:03:38,156 - Okay, I'm gonna be candid. - Okay, I'm gonna be candid.
93 00:03:38,239 00:03:40,450 I-I don't want to do a sex scene with him. I-I don't want to do a sex scene with him.
94 00:03:40,533 00:03:41,451 - That's fine, 'cause I don't want - That's fine, 'cause I don't want
95 00:03:41,534 00:03:42,994 to do a sex scene with her. Ugh. to do a sex scene with her. Ugh.
96 00:03:48,541 00:03:50,793 What's so funny? - Okay, well, look at you, What's so funny? - Okay, well, look at you,
97 00:03:50,877 00:03:52,337 and then look at her. and then look at her.
98 00:03:52,420 00:03:54,339 And look at you, then her. And look at you, then her.
99 00:03:54,422 00:03:56,257 Then you, then her. - Okay. Then you, then her. - Okay.
100 00:03:56,341 00:03:58,551 I don't get the joke. What is...? What-what am I missing? I don't get the joke. What is...? What-what am I missing?
101 00:03:58,635 00:04:00,553 - All right, let me put it another way. Uh... - All right, let me put it another way. Uh...
102 00:04:00,637 00:04:02,764 Look at you, and then look at her. Look at you, and then look at her.
103 00:04:02,847 00:04:05,058 Then look at you, and then her. Then look at you, and then her.
104 00:04:05,141 00:04:07,977 - Can we just get this shit over with, please? - Can we just get this shit over with, please?
105 00:04:08,061 00:04:10,188 - Okay, let's discuss motivation. - Okay, let's discuss motivation.
106 00:04:10,271 00:04:12,190 All right, now... All right, now...
107 00:04:12,273 00:04:13,942 after almost killing each other, after almost killing each other,
108 00:04:14,025 00:04:15,985 Agent Hart and Agent King Agent Hart and Agent King
109 00:04:16,069 00:04:17,737 discover that they're on the same team. discover that they're on the same team.
110 00:04:17,820 00:04:19,781 After diffusing a bomb, After diffusing a bomb,
111 00:04:19,864 00:04:21,199 at the top of a skyscraper, at the top of a skyscraper,
112 00:04:21,282 00:04:23,201 in-in the middle of an earthquake, in-in the middle of an earthquake,
113 00:04:23,284 00:04:26,996 they discover this overwhelming passion for each other. they discover this overwhelming passion for each other.
114 00:04:28,998 00:04:30,959 - Wait, wait, wait. We-We're at the top of a skyscraper - Wait, wait, wait. We-We're at the top of a skyscraper
115 00:04:31,042 00:04:32,293 in the middle of an earthquake? in the middle of an earthquake?
116 00:04:32,377 00:04:34,087 - Yes! Yes! Goddamn it! - Yes! Yes! Goddamn it!
117 00:04:34,170 00:04:36,881 You are the dumbest actor that I've ever worked with! You are the dumbest actor that I've ever worked with!
118 00:04:36,965 00:04:38,633 Go! Action! Go! Action!
119 00:04:38,716 00:04:42,220 Red wire... or blue wire? Red wire... or blue wire?
120 00:04:42,303 00:04:44,222 - It's got to be the red. - Are you sure? - It's got to be the red. - Are you sure?
121 00:04:44,305 00:04:45,515 Agent Hart, are you sure? Agent Hart, are you sure?
122 00:04:45,598 00:04:47,433 - I don't know. - I don't know.
123 00:05:12,750 00:05:14,752 - Earthquake. Earthquake! - Earthquake. Earthquake!
124 00:05:14,836 00:05:16,170 The building's falling apart! The building's falling apart!
125 00:05:16,254 00:05:18,256 - Oh, okay, um... - Oh, okay. - Oh, okay, um... - Oh, okay.
126 00:05:18,339 00:05:19,674 - Good, great. - Good, great.
127 00:05:20,508 00:05:21,801 - Oh! Oh! Oh! - Oh! Oh! Oh!
128 00:05:21,885 00:05:23,428 Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
129 00:05:23,511 00:05:26,180 Hold on! Wait! Oh! Hold on! Wait! Oh!
130 00:05:26,264 00:05:28,182 Where you at? Wait, wait, wait, wait.- Kevin. Where you at? Wait, wait, wait, wait.- Kevin.
131 00:05:28,266 00:05:30,560 - Hold on, wait, give me a second! Shit! - Hold on, wait, give me a second! Shit!
132 00:05:30,643 00:05:32,186 - Okay. - Okay, all right. - Okay. - Okay, all right.
133 00:05:32,270 00:05:33,938 Come on, it's an earthquake. It's an earthquake. Come on, it's an earthquake. It's an earthquake.
134 00:05:34,022 00:05:34,939 Go. - Yeah. Go. - Yeah.
135 00:05:35,023 00:05:36,482 - Go. - Agent Hart, - Go. - Agent Hart,
136 00:05:36,566 00:05:38,651 I can't believe we just diffused that bomb. I can't believe we just diffused that bomb.
137 00:05:38,735 00:05:41,196 We just saved thousands of lives, maybe millions. We just saved thousands of lives, maybe millions.
138 00:05:41,279 00:05:44,324 - This earthquake's got to be about a 7.5 magnitude. - This earthquake's got to be about a 7.5 magnitude.
139 00:05:44,407 00:05:47,911 This could be our last time being together before we die. This could be our last time being together before we die.
140 00:05:47,994 00:05:50,830 - Now kiss her neck softly and start fucking. - Now kiss her neck softly and start fucking.
141 00:05:50,914 00:05:53,082 - What...? Wait. - What...? Wait.
142 00:05:53,166 00:05:55,293 Kiss-kiss her neck and then start fucking? Kiss-kiss her neck and then start fucking?
143 00:05:55,376 00:05:57,754 - Kiss her neck softly and start fucking! - Kiss her neck softly and start fucking!
144 00:05:57,837 00:06:00,006 - Oh, okay. He... - Uh... - Oh, okay. He... - Uh...
145 00:06:00,089 00:06:01,591 - I'm just gonna do it 'cause that's what he s... - I'm just gonna do it 'cause that's what he s...
146 00:06:01,674 00:06:03,509 - Yeah, no, it's fine. - Yeah, let me put your... - Yeah, no, it's fine. - Yeah, let me put your...
147 00:06:03,593 00:06:06,304 Give me that. - Be sexy! Do something! Give me that. - Be sexy! Do something!
148 00:06:06,387 00:06:08,097 - Grab my leg. - Okay, give me this one. - Grab my leg. - Okay, give me this one.
149 00:06:08,181 00:06:11,226 - Have you never had sex before?! Do it! - Have you never had sex before?! Do it!
150 00:06:11,309 00:06:13,186 - That's not... - We need... All right. - That's not... - We need... All right.
151 00:06:13,269 00:06:14,437 One second. That's it. - I think we got it. One second. That's it. - I think we got it.
152 00:06:14,520 00:06:16,272 - Go! Go! - Go! Go!
153 00:06:16,356 00:06:18,650 - Agent Hart, no. We shouldn't do this. - Agent Hart, no. We shouldn't do this.
154 00:06:18,733 00:06:21,402 It's against Bureau protocol. It's against Bureau protocol.
155 00:06:21,486 00:06:24,656 - Well, protocol was meant to be broken. - Well, protocol was meant to be broken.
156 00:06:29,577 00:06:32,247 Help! Help! Don't drop me! Don't drop me! Help! Help! Don't drop me! Don't drop me!
157 00:06:32,330 00:06:33,831 Please don't let go! Don't let go! Please don't let go! Don't let go!
158 00:06:33,915 00:06:35,750 - I won't! I got you! - Don't let go! - I won't! I got you! - Don't let go!
159 00:06:35,833 00:06:37,126 - I've got you, I promise! - I've got you, I promise!
160 00:06:37,210 00:06:39,337 - Can you push in a little closer? - Can you push in a little closer?
161 00:06:39,420 00:06:40,797 - Help me! Help me! - Help me! Help me!
162 00:06:40,880 00:06:42,465 I'm too young to die! I'm too young to die!
163 00:06:42,549 00:06:44,717 - Any closer, they'll see the cameras. - Any closer, they'll see the cameras.
164 00:06:44,801 00:06:46,344 - Okay, good. Hold there. - Okay, good. Hold there.
165 00:06:46,427 00:06:48,680 - I got you. - Perfect. - I got you. - Perfect.
166 00:06:48,763 00:06:50,932 - Help! - Kevin, you're, like, one foot - Help! - Kevin, you're, like, one foot
167 00:06:51,015 00:06:53,768 off the ground. - You cannot teach acting like that. off the ground. - You cannot teach acting like that.
168 00:06:53,851 00:06:55,311 - I'm just gonna let you down, okay? - I'm just gonna let you down, okay?
169 00:06:55,395 00:06:56,729 - Aah! - Aah!