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# | Start | End | Original | Translated |
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1 | 00:00:01,356 | 00:00:03,107 | Hey. | Hey. |
2 | 00:00:03,191 | 00:00:05,777 | I brought you some breakfast as a peace offering. | I brought you some breakfast as a peace offering. |
3 | 00:00:07,111 | 00:00:08,696 | Food here is a little tricky. | Food here is a little tricky. |
4 | 00:00:08,780 | 00:00:10,657 | It's just a closet full of beef jerky. | It's just a closet full of beef jerky. |
5 | 00:00:10,740 | 00:00:13,326 | Apparently, Macho Man Randy Savage was an alum here, | Apparently, Macho Man Randy Savage was an alum here, |
6 | 00:00:13,409 | 00:00:17,288 | and he left his entire food supply to Ron in his will, so, | and he left his entire food supply to Ron in his will, so, |
7 | 00:00:17,372 | 00:00:20,583 | snap into a Slim Jim? | snap into a Slim Jim? |
8 | 00:00:20,667 | 00:00:22,335 | - Care to join me for breakfast? | - Care to join me for breakfast? |
9 | 00:00:22,418 | 00:00:24,170 | - Of course. | - Of course. |
10 | 00:00:24,254 | 00:00:27,215 | Jerky for two. | Jerky for two. |
11 | 00:00:27,298 | 00:00:30,468 | Um... look, | Um... look, |
12 | 00:00:30,552 | 00:00:33,721 | I wanted to apologize. | I wanted to apologize. |
13 | 00:00:33,805 | 00:00:35,723 | You know, I didn't mean to... - Stab me? | You know, I didn't mean to... - Stab me? |
14 | 00:00:35,807 | 00:00:37,600 | - Well, I wasn't gonna use those words. | - Well, I wasn't gonna use those words. |
15 | 00:00:37,684 | 00:00:40,061 | Look, Ron-Ron is crazy. | Look, Ron-Ron is crazy. |
16 | 00:00:40,144 | 00:00:42,689 | I'm serious. He's-he's nuts. | I'm serious. He's-he's nuts. |
17 | 00:00:42,772 | 00:00:44,649 | Sick-in-the-head crazy. | Sick-in-the-head crazy. |
18 | 00:00:44,732 | 00:00:47,193 | And I'm convinced that that motherfucker killed | And I'm convinced that that motherfucker killed |
19 | 00:00:47,277 | 00:00:48,695 | a dude named Rodrigo. | a dude named Rodrigo. |
20 | 00:00:48,778 | 00:00:50,154 | And the motherfucker tried to kill me | And the motherfucker tried to kill me |
21 | 00:00:50,238 | 00:00:51,948 | just for being around his office. | just for being around his office. |
22 | 00:00:52,031 | 00:00:55,118 | And as far as your arm goes, I know you think I'm lying... | And as far as your arm goes, I know you think I'm lying... |
23 | 00:00:55,201 | 00:00:56,536 | I heard "retractable." | I heard "retractable." |
24 | 00:00:56,619 | 00:00:58,997 | - You know, I've dated guys like you before. | - You know, I've dated guys like you before. |
25 | 00:00:59,080 | 00:01:00,832 | It's always someone else's fault. | It's always someone else's fault. |
26 | 00:01:00,915 | 00:01:02,750 | - That's not true. | - That's not true. |
27 | 00:01:02,834 | 00:01:04,669 | That's not true at all. When I'm wrong, I... | That's not true at all. When I'm wrong, I... |
28 | 00:01:04,752 | 00:01:06,629 | I shouldn't say that 'cause I'm never wrong. | I shouldn't say that 'cause I'm never wrong. |
29 | 00:01:06,713 | 00:01:08,423 | If... if I'm wrong, | If... if I'm wrong, |
30 | 00:01:08,506 | 00:01:10,550 | I have no problem admitting that I'm wrong. | I have no problem admitting that I'm wrong. |
31 | 00:01:10,633 | 00:01:14,012 | But in this case, I'm not. He said "retractable." | But in this case, I'm not. He said "retractable." |
32 | 00:01:14,095 | 00:01:17,974 | - Hey, part of me is glad you stabbed me. | - Hey, part of me is glad you stabbed me. |
33 | 00:01:18,057 | 00:01:20,184 | It's a badge of honor. | It's a badge of honor. |
34 | 00:01:20,268 | 00:01:22,854 | I heard when Jason Statham came through here, | I heard when Jason Statham came through here, |
35 | 00:01:22,937 | 00:01:24,898 | he got stabbed directly in the heart. | he got stabbed directly in the heart. |
36 | 00:01:24,981 | 00:01:26,191 | - Did he survive that? | - Did he survive that? |
37 | 00:01:26,274 | 00:01:28,359 | - He shot Transporter, like, a week later. | - He shot Transporter, like, a week later. |
38 | 00:01:28,443 | 00:01:30,236 | - What the fuck? | - What the fuck? |
39 | 00:01:30,320 | 00:01:31,946 | In the heart? They stabbed him in the heart? | In the heart? They stabbed him in the heart? |
40 | 00:01:32,030 | 00:01:33,948 | - Yep, right through it. - Goddamn it. | - Yep, right through it. - Goddamn it. |
41 | 00:01:34,032 | 00:01:36,284 | Maybe I'm just doing the wrong fucking thing here. | Maybe I'm just doing the wrong fucking thing here. |
42 | 00:01:36,367 | 00:01:38,244 | I mean... | I mean... |
43 | 00:01:38,328 | 00:01:40,622 | ...maybe this just isn't for me, you know? | ...maybe this just isn't for me, you know? |
44 | 00:01:40,705 | 00:01:42,582 | - So, just leave. | - So, just leave. |
45 | 00:01:42,665 | 00:01:44,834 | Go home. I'm sure there's | Go home. I'm sure there's |
46 | 00:01:44,918 | 00:01:47,212 | a real hero somewhere in need of a goofy sidekick. | a real hero somewhere in need of a goofy sidekick. |
47 | 00:01:47,295 | 00:01:48,838 | - Okay, uh, that backfired. | - Okay, uh, that backfired. |
48 | 00:01:48,922 | 00:01:50,715 | I thought that you would go the opposite direction | I thought that you would go the opposite direction |
49 | 00:01:50,798 | 00:01:53,009 | and tell me that, no, I should stay, | and tell me that, no, I should stay, |
50 | 00:01:53,092 | 00:01:55,178 | and that this is for me. | and that this is for me. |
51 | 00:01:55,261 | 00:01:56,679 | That's what I... thought... | That's what I... thought... |
52 | 00:01:56,763 | 00:01:58,181 | - Well, what do you want me to say? | - Well, what do you want me to say? |
53 | 00:01:58,264 | 00:02:00,683 | If you need extra motivation to be the star | If you need extra motivation to be the star |
54 | 00:02:00,767 | 00:02:03,061 | of a Claude Van De Velde movie... | of a Claude Van De Velde movie... |
55 | 00:02:03,144 | 00:02:05,063 | uh, you're in the wrong business. | uh, you're in the wrong business. |
56 | 00:02:05,146 | 00:02:09,400 | This is probably my only shot to be a big action star, so | This is probably my only shot to be a big action star, so |
57 | 00:02:09,484 | 00:02:11,402 | I'm not gonna blow it. | I'm not gonna blow it. |
58 | 00:02:11,486 | 00:02:13,321 | I'll do anything it takes. | I'll do anything it takes. |
59 | 00:02:16,824 | 00:02:19,035 | - You're right. | - You're right. |
60 | 00:02:19,118 | 00:02:22,372 | You are absolutely right. | You are absolutely right. |
61 | 00:02:22,455 | 00:02:24,791 | I need to stop all the bitching and moaning, | I need to stop all the bitching and moaning, |
62 | 00:02:24,874 | 00:02:26,668 | and I need to cowboy the fuck up. | and I need to cowboy the fuck up. |
63 | 00:02:26,751 | 00:02:29,546 | - There you go. | - There you go. |
64 | 00:02:36,427 | 00:02:38,680 | - When I first started in the business, | - When I first started in the business, |
65 | 00:02:38,763 | 00:02:40,390 | training action stars, | training action stars, |
66 | 00:02:40,473 | 00:02:42,809 | every stunt scene was practical. | every stunt scene was practical. |
67 | 00:02:42,892 | 00:02:45,979 | Or, as Kevin might say, "retractable." | Or, as Kevin might say, "retractable." |
68 | 00:02:46,062 | 00:02:47,856 | - Oh, that's really good. That's great. | - Oh, that's really good. That's great. |
69 | 00:02:47,939 | 00:02:50,316 | It's not funny. - But the industry has changed. | It's not funny. - But the industry has changed. |
70 | 00:02:50,400 | 00:02:52,527 | You can't even be an action star without, | You can't even be an action star without, |
71 | 00:02:52,610 | 00:02:54,028 | well, knowing how to work green. | well, knowing how to work green. |
72 | 00:02:54,112 | 00:02:56,489 | - Uh, I'm very familiar with the green screen. | - Uh, I'm very familiar with the green screen. |
73 | 00:02:56,573 | 00:02:57,907 | I mean, I've done about 15 movies | I mean, I've done about 15 movies |
74 | 00:02:57,991 | 00:02:59,701 | where we've had a green screen. | where we've had a green screen. |
75 | 00:02:59,784 | 00:03:02,161 | - In which of those 15 movies were you the leading man? | - In which of those 15 movies were you the leading man? |
76 | 00:03:02,245 | 00:03:04,789 | Any idiot can jump on a green screen | Any idiot can jump on a green screen |
77 | 00:03:04,873 | 00:03:07,625 | and pretend to be eaten by a CG dragon. | and pretend to be eaten by a CG dragon. |
78 | 00:03:07,709 | 00:03:09,335 | Hell, even Little Kevin can do that. | Hell, even Little Kevin can do that. |
79 | 00:03:09,419 | 00:03:10,795 | - Oh, hell no! | - Oh, hell no! |
80 | 00:03:10,879 | 00:03:13,423 | - Okay, who's finding the time to dress him like me? | - Okay, who's finding the time to dress him like me? |
81 | 00:03:13,506 | 00:03:15,091 | It's really... - Okay, question. | It's really... - Okay, question. |
82 | 00:03:15,174 | 00:03:17,802 | What does a leading woman or a leading man | What does a leading woman or a leading man |
83 | 00:03:17,886 | 00:03:20,972 | get to do on-screen that sidekicks don't? | get to do on-screen that sidekicks don't? |
84 | 00:03:21,055 | 00:03:23,057 | - Win fights. - Uh, murder bad guys. | - Win fights. - Uh, murder bad guys. |
85 | 00:03:23,141 | 00:03:24,434 | - Make love. | - Make love. |
86 | 00:03:25,310 | 00:03:27,812 | Today's lesson is in lovemaking. | Today's lesson is in lovemaking. |
87 | 00:03:27,896 | 00:03:29,147 | - Yes! | - Yes! |
88 | 00:03:29,230 | 00:03:30,398 | On the green screen? | On the green screen? |
89 | 00:03:30,481 | 00:03:32,066 | Are we doing it on the green screen? | Are we doing it on the green screen? |
90 | 00:03:32,150 | 00:03:33,568 | - Bingo. - Nice. | - Bingo. - Nice. |
91 | 00:03:33,651 | 00:03:36,779 | Adding effects to the bed, to the wall, just cracking 'em. | Adding effects to the bed, to the wall, just cracking 'em. |
92 | 00:03:36,863 | 00:03:38,156 | - Okay, I'm gonna be candid. | - Okay, I'm gonna be candid. |
93 | 00:03:38,239 | 00:03:40,450 | I-I don't want to do a sex scene with him. | I-I don't want to do a sex scene with him. |
94 | 00:03:40,533 | 00:03:41,451 | - That's fine, 'cause I don't want | - That's fine, 'cause I don't want |
95 | 00:03:41,534 | 00:03:42,994 | to do a sex scene with her. Ugh. | to do a sex scene with her. Ugh. |
96 | 00:03:48,541 | 00:03:50,793 | What's so funny? - Okay, well, look at you, | What's so funny? - Okay, well, look at you, |
97 | 00:03:50,877 | 00:03:52,337 | and then look at her. | and then look at her. |
98 | 00:03:52,420 | 00:03:54,339 | And look at you, then her. | And look at you, then her. |
99 | 00:03:54,422 | 00:03:56,257 | Then you, then her. - Okay. | Then you, then her. - Okay. |
100 | 00:03:56,341 | 00:03:58,551 | I don't get the joke. What is...? What-what am I missing? | I don't get the joke. What is...? What-what am I missing? |
101 | 00:03:58,635 | 00:04:00,553 | - All right, let me put it another way. Uh... | - All right, let me put it another way. Uh... |
102 | 00:04:00,637 | 00:04:02,764 | Look at you, and then look at her. | Look at you, and then look at her. |
103 | 00:04:02,847 | 00:04:05,058 | Then look at you, and then her. | Then look at you, and then her. |
104 | 00:04:05,141 | 00:04:07,977 | - Can we just get this shit over with, please? | - Can we just get this shit over with, please? |
105 | 00:04:08,061 | 00:04:10,188 | - Okay, let's discuss motivation. | - Okay, let's discuss motivation. |
106 | 00:04:10,271 | 00:04:12,190 | All right, now... | All right, now... |
107 | 00:04:12,273 | 00:04:13,942 | after almost killing each other, | after almost killing each other, |
108 | 00:04:14,025 | 00:04:15,985 | Agent Hart and Agent King | Agent Hart and Agent King |
109 | 00:04:16,069 | 00:04:17,737 | discover that they're on the same team. | discover that they're on the same team. |
110 | 00:04:17,820 | 00:04:19,781 | After diffusing a bomb, | After diffusing a bomb, |
111 | 00:04:19,864 | 00:04:21,199 | at the top of a skyscraper, | at the top of a skyscraper, |
112 | 00:04:21,282 | 00:04:23,201 | in-in the middle of an earthquake, | in-in the middle of an earthquake, |
113 | 00:04:23,284 | 00:04:26,996 | they discover this overwhelming passion for each other. | they discover this overwhelming passion for each other. |
114 | 00:04:28,998 | 00:04:30,959 | - Wait, wait, wait. We-We're at the top of a skyscraper | - Wait, wait, wait. We-We're at the top of a skyscraper |
115 | 00:04:31,042 | 00:04:32,293 | in the middle of an earthquake? | in the middle of an earthquake? |
116 | 00:04:32,377 | 00:04:34,087 | - Yes! Yes! Goddamn it! | - Yes! Yes! Goddamn it! |
117 | 00:04:34,170 | 00:04:36,881 | You are the dumbest actor that I've ever worked with! | You are the dumbest actor that I've ever worked with! |
118 | 00:04:36,965 | 00:04:38,633 | Go! Action! | Go! Action! |
119 | 00:04:38,716 | 00:04:42,220 | Red wire... or blue wire? | Red wire... or blue wire? |
120 | 00:04:42,303 | 00:04:44,222 | - It's got to be the red. - Are you sure? | - It's got to be the red. - Are you sure? |
121 | 00:04:44,305 | 00:04:45,515 | Agent Hart, are you sure? | Agent Hart, are you sure? |
122 | 00:04:45,598 | 00:04:47,433 | - I don't know. | - I don't know. |
123 | 00:05:12,750 | 00:05:14,752 | - Earthquake. Earthquake! | - Earthquake. Earthquake! |
124 | 00:05:14,836 | 00:05:16,170 | The building's falling apart! | The building's falling apart! |
125 | 00:05:16,254 | 00:05:18,256 | - Oh, okay, um... - Oh, okay. | - Oh, okay, um... - Oh, okay. |
126 | 00:05:18,339 | 00:05:19,674 | - Good, great. | - Good, great. |
127 | 00:05:20,508 | 00:05:21,801 | - Oh! Oh! Oh! | - Oh! Oh! Oh! |
128 | 00:05:21,885 | 00:05:23,428 | Oh, shit! | Oh, shit! |
129 | 00:05:23,511 | 00:05:26,180 | Hold on! Wait! Oh! | Hold on! Wait! Oh! |
130 | 00:05:26,264 | 00:05:28,182 | Where you at? Wait, wait, wait, wait.- Kevin. | Where you at? Wait, wait, wait, wait.- Kevin. |
131 | 00:05:28,266 | 00:05:30,560 | - Hold on, wait, give me a second! Shit! | - Hold on, wait, give me a second! Shit! |
132 | 00:05:30,643 | 00:05:32,186 | - Okay. - Okay, all right. | - Okay. - Okay, all right. |
133 | 00:05:32,270 | 00:05:33,938 | Come on, it's an earthquake. It's an earthquake. | Come on, it's an earthquake. It's an earthquake. |
134 | 00:05:34,022 | 00:05:34,939 | Go. - Yeah. | Go. - Yeah. |
135 | 00:05:35,023 | 00:05:36,482 | - Go. - Agent Hart, | - Go. - Agent Hart, |
136 | 00:05:36,566 | 00:05:38,651 | I can't believe we just diffused that bomb. | I can't believe we just diffused that bomb. |
137 | 00:05:38,735 | 00:05:41,196 | We just saved thousands of lives, maybe millions. | We just saved thousands of lives, maybe millions. |
138 | 00:05:41,279 | 00:05:44,324 | - This earthquake's got to be about a 7.5 magnitude. | - This earthquake's got to be about a 7.5 magnitude. |
139 | 00:05:44,407 | 00:05:47,911 | This could be our last time being together before we die. | This could be our last time being together before we die. |
140 | 00:05:47,994 | 00:05:50,830 | - Now kiss her neck softly and start fucking. | - Now kiss her neck softly and start fucking. |
141 | 00:05:50,914 | 00:05:53,082 | - What...? Wait. | - What...? Wait. |
142 | 00:05:53,166 | 00:05:55,293 | Kiss-kiss her neck and then start fucking? | Kiss-kiss her neck and then start fucking? |
143 | 00:05:55,376 | 00:05:57,754 | - Kiss her neck softly and start fucking! | - Kiss her neck softly and start fucking! |
144 | 00:05:57,837 | 00:06:00,006 | - Oh, okay. He... - Uh... | - Oh, okay. He... - Uh... |
145 | 00:06:00,089 | 00:06:01,591 | - I'm just gonna do it 'cause that's what he s... | - I'm just gonna do it 'cause that's what he s... |
146 | 00:06:01,674 | 00:06:03,509 | - Yeah, no, it's fine. - Yeah, let me put your... | - Yeah, no, it's fine. - Yeah, let me put your... |
147 | 00:06:03,593 | 00:06:06,304 | Give me that. - Be sexy! Do something! | Give me that. - Be sexy! Do something! |
148 | 00:06:06,387 | 00:06:08,097 | - Grab my leg. - Okay, give me this one. | - Grab my leg. - Okay, give me this one. |
149 | 00:06:08,181 | 00:06:11,226 | - Have you never had sex before?! Do it! | - Have you never had sex before?! Do it! |
150 | 00:06:11,309 | 00:06:13,186 | - That's not... - We need... All right. | - That's not... - We need... All right. |
151 | 00:06:13,269 | 00:06:14,437 | One second. That's it. - I think we got it. | One second. That's it. - I think we got it. |
152 | 00:06:14,520 | 00:06:16,272 | - Go! Go! | - Go! Go! |
153 | 00:06:16,356 | 00:06:18,650 | - Agent Hart, no. We shouldn't do this. | - Agent Hart, no. We shouldn't do this. |
154 | 00:06:18,733 | 00:06:21,402 | It's against Bureau protocol. | It's against Bureau protocol. |
155 | 00:06:21,486 | 00:06:24,656 | - Well, protocol was meant to be broken. | - Well, protocol was meant to be broken. |
156 | 00:06:29,577 | 00:06:32,247 | Help! Help! Don't drop me! Don't drop me! | Help! Help! Don't drop me! Don't drop me! |
157 | 00:06:32,330 | 00:06:33,831 | Please don't let go! Don't let go! | Please don't let go! Don't let go! |
158 | 00:06:33,915 | 00:06:35,750 | - I won't! I got you! - Don't let go! | - I won't! I got you! - Don't let go! |
159 | 00:06:35,833 | 00:06:37,126 | - I've got you, I promise! | - I've got you, I promise! |
160 | 00:06:37,210 | 00:06:39,337 | - Can you push in a little closer? | - Can you push in a little closer? |
161 | 00:06:39,420 | 00:06:40,797 | - Help me! Help me! | - Help me! Help me! |
162 | 00:06:40,880 | 00:06:42,465 | I'm too young to die! | I'm too young to die! |
163 | 00:06:42,549 | 00:06:44,717 | - Any closer, they'll see the cameras. | - Any closer, they'll see the cameras. |
164 | 00:06:44,801 | 00:06:46,344 | - Okay, good. Hold there. | - Okay, good. Hold there. |
165 | 00:06:46,427 | 00:06:48,680 | - I got you. - Perfect. | - I got you. - Perfect. |
166 | 00:06:48,763 | 00:06:50,932 | - Help! - Kevin, you're, like, one foot | - Help! - Kevin, you're, like, one foot |
167 | 00:06:51,015 | 00:06:53,768 | off the ground. - You cannot teach acting like that. | off the ground. - You cannot teach acting like that. |
168 | 00:06:53,851 | 00:06:55,311 | - I'm just gonna let you down, okay? | - I'm just gonna let you down, okay? |
169 | 00:06:55,395 | 00:06:56,729 | - Aah! | - Aah! |