# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:05,443 00:00:07,570 - Welcome to Ron Wilcox's Action Star School. - Welcome to Ron Wilcox's Action Star School.
2 00:00:07,654 00:00:10,573 I'm Ron Wilcox, and that was your first lesson. I'm Ron Wilcox, and that was your first lesson.
3 00:00:10,657 00:00:11,991 - Getting hit in the head with a bat? - Getting hit in the head with a bat?
4 00:00:12,075 00:00:15,078 - Oh, you are naive. That was a prop bat. - Oh, you are naive. That was a prop bat.
5 00:00:15,161 00:00:17,080 It was made of plastic. - Wasn't goddamn plastic. It was made of plastic. - Wasn't goddamn plastic.
6 00:00:17,163 00:00:18,414 I've been hit with a bat before. I've been hit with a bat before.
7 00:00:18,498 00:00:20,124 I know what a metal bat fucking feel like. I know what a metal bat fucking feel like.
8 00:00:20,208 00:00:22,377 - All right, hey. Mr. Van De Velde told me to tell him - All right, hey. Mr. Van De Velde told me to tell him
9 00:00:22,460 00:00:25,838 if you complain about anything being too difficult. if you complain about anything being too difficult.
10 00:00:25,922 00:00:28,550 - No. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not complaining. - No. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not complaining.
11 00:00:28,633 00:00:30,343 - Mm-hmm. - I'm not complaining about nothing. I loved that. - Mm-hmm. - I'm not complaining about nothing. I loved that.
12 00:00:30,426 00:00:31,803 - Mm-hmm. - I thought it was great, - Mm-hmm. - I thought it was great,
13 00:00:31,886 00:00:35,265 to be honest with you. Gave me a rush. - Good. Let's take the tour. to be honest with you. Gave me a rush. - Good. Let's take the tour.
14 00:00:35,348 00:00:36,474 - Yeah. - Come on. - Yeah. - Come on.
15 00:00:36,558 00:00:39,060 This place used to be a slaughterhouse This place used to be a slaughterhouse
16 00:00:39,143 00:00:42,146 up until the '70s, and then, as legend has it, up until the '70s, and then, as legend has it,
17 00:00:42,230 00:00:44,607 the animals revolted against their tormentors the animals revolted against their tormentors
18 00:00:44,691 00:00:46,192 and they slaughtered the humans. and they slaughtered the humans.
19 00:00:46,276 00:00:48,820 - Oh, my God. - And my pal Charles Norris-- - Oh, my God. - And my pal Charles Norris--
20 00:00:48,903 00:00:51,155 you know him as Chuck-- well, he needed a place to train. you know him as Chuck-- well, he needed a place to train.
21 00:00:51,239 00:00:54,117 - Mm-hmm. - I bought it, I mentored him. - Mm-hmm. - I bought it, I mentored him.
22 00:00:54,200 00:00:57,245 And that's why he's the badass that he is today. And that's why he's the badass that he is today.
23 00:00:57,328 00:00:59,873 Yeah. Yeah.
24 00:00:59,956 00:01:04,335 He nearly died within these walls. He nearly died within these walls.
25 00:01:04,419 00:01:08,256 And that's how Ron Wilcox's Action Star School got born. And that's how Ron Wilcox's Action Star School got born.
26 00:01:08,339 00:01:10,633 - Ron Wilcox's ASS for short. - Ron Wilcox's ASS for short.
27 00:01:10,717 00:01:12,844 - What the fuck did you just say to me? - What the fuck did you just say to me?
28 00:01:17,974 00:01:20,226 - Did Matt get... Matt Damon go here? - Did Matt get... Matt Damon go here?
29 00:01:20,310 00:01:22,145 Oh, Matty boy! Oh, Matty boy!
30 00:01:22,228 00:01:23,771 Fuck yeah! Fuck yeah!
31 00:01:23,855 00:01:25,773 Matt Damon. Before he came to me, Matt Damon. Before he came to me,
32 00:01:25,857 00:01:27,817 he was a no-name actor from New England. he was a no-name actor from New England.
33 00:01:27,901 00:01:30,695 He was nothing. He was 100 pounds soaking wet. He was nothing. He was 100 pounds soaking wet.
34 00:01:30,778 00:01:33,656 - Uh, you sure we're talking about the same Matt Damon? - Uh, you sure we're talking about the same Matt Damon?
35 00:01:33,740 00:01:35,366 - Hell yeah. Matt Damon. - Hell yeah. Matt Damon.
36 00:01:35,450 00:01:37,744 - Huh. Okay. - Huh. Okay.
37 00:01:37,827 00:01:39,162 Yeah. If you say... - Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Yeah. If you say... - Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
38 00:01:39,245 00:01:41,664 Rule number one: no phones till you graduate. Rule number one: no phones till you graduate.
39 00:01:41,748 00:01:44,209 - Okay, I-I run an empire, so unfortunately, I need my... - Okay, I-I run an empire, so unfortunately, I need my...
40 00:01:44,292 00:01:45,752 - Okay, fine. You know what I'll do? - Okay, fine. You know what I'll do?
41 00:01:45,835 00:01:47,754 I'll just call Mr. Van De Velde, and I'll tell him, "Oh, I'll just call Mr. Van De Velde, and I'll tell him, "Oh,
42 00:01:47,837 00:01:49,797 "the phone policy wasn't working for him. "the phone policy wasn't working for him.
43 00:01:49,881 00:01:51,799 It-it wasn't to his liking." It-it wasn't to his liking."
44 00:01:51,883 00:01:53,760 - I never s... - I know what you're gonna do with this. - I never s... - I know what you're gonna do with this.
45 00:01:53,843 00:01:55,803 You're gonna make calls to Hollywood, you're gonna say, You're gonna make calls to Hollywood, you're gonna say,
46 00:01:55,887 00:01:58,306 "Hello, Hollywood, Ron's school is too tough for me. "Hello, Hollywood, Ron's school is too tough for me.
47 00:01:58,389 00:01:59,724 I need more drugs." I need more drugs."
48 00:01:59,807 00:02:01,434 - No. - Yeah. You're gonna say, - No. - Yeah. You're gonna say,
49 00:02:01,517 00:02:04,604 "Oh, I'm Kevin Hart. I need more caviar and champagne." "Oh, I'm Kevin Hart. I need more caviar and champagne."
50 00:02:04,687 00:02:06,481 - I just want to talk to my employees. - I just want to talk to my employees.
51 00:02:06,564 00:02:08,983 - That's fine, but I'm still keeping it. - That's fine, but I'm still keeping it.
52 00:02:10,944 00:02:12,111 - Okay. - Okay.
53 00:02:17,325 00:02:20,245 - Okay. Until you graduate, you are forbidden - Okay. Until you graduate, you are forbidden
54 00:02:20,328 00:02:22,163 from visiting the outside world. from visiting the outside world.
55 00:02:22,247 00:02:23,623 You'll stay here. You'll stay here.
56 00:02:23,706 00:02:25,416 - Say what? - You got your bed, - Say what? - You got your bed,
57 00:02:25,500 00:02:27,669 you got your toilet, you got your sink. you got your toilet, you got your sink.
58 00:02:27,752 00:02:30,255 All the modern amenities. All the modern amenities.
59 00:02:36,594 00:02:39,722 - Okay. It's supposed to toughen me up. - Okay. It's supposed to toughen me up.
60 00:02:39,806 00:02:42,559 Okay, I get it. Okay, I get it.
61 00:02:42,642 00:02:45,645 Yeah. I'm good with that. Yeah. I'm good with that.
62 00:02:45,728 00:02:47,063 Yeah. Yeah.
63 00:02:47,146 00:02:48,857 Might be a little too good with it. Might be a little too good with it.
64 00:02:48,940 00:02:52,652 - And rule number two: no fucking on the premises. - And rule number two: no fucking on the premises.
65 00:02:52,735 00:02:57,031 No anal, no blowjobs, no nothing. No anal, no blowjobs, no nothing.
66 00:02:58,074 00:02:59,492 - Who else is here? - Who else is here?
67 00:03:01,953 00:03:04,539 - Just me. - Just me.
68 00:03:07,041 00:03:09,085 - So those-those two Colombian guys that hit me - So those-those two Colombian guys that hit me
69 00:03:09,168 00:03:11,754 in the head with the prop bat, they were actors, right? in the head with the prop bat, they were actors, right?
70 00:03:11,838 00:03:13,172 - Yeah. Exactly. - Yeah. Exactly.
71 00:03:13,256 00:03:16,217 Okay, rule number three: Okay, rule number three:
72 00:03:16,301 00:03:19,053 when you're under this roof, your name is no longer Kevin. when you're under this roof, your name is no longer Kevin.
73 00:03:19,137 00:03:20,263 It's Agent Hart. It's Agent Hart.
74 00:03:20,346 00:03:21,764 And you'll refer to me And you'll refer to me
75 00:03:21,848 00:03:25,476 as Ron Wilcox or Ron or Wilcox or Coach Ron. as Ron Wilcox or Ron or Wilcox or Coach Ron.
76 00:03:25,560 00:03:28,187 - I like Coach Ron. - And I refer to you as? - I like Coach Ron. - And I refer to you as?
77 00:03:28,271 00:03:30,773 - Agent Hart. Right? See, I'm on it. - Right. Yes. - Agent Hart. Right? See, I'm on it. - Right. Yes.
78 00:03:30,857 00:03:33,568 - Now I assume you got me in this FBI jacket and stuff - Now I assume you got me in this FBI jacket and stuff
79 00:03:33,651 00:03:35,904 for a reason, so what is it? - Hey. for a reason, so what is it? - Hey.
80 00:03:35,987 00:03:37,906 Uh, would you do me a favor? - Yeah. Uh, would you do me a favor? - Yeah.
81 00:03:37,989 00:03:40,491 - Uh, Kevin, would you grab that chair for me? - Uh, Kevin, would you grab that chair for me?
82 00:03:40,575 00:03:42,202 - Yeah, you need this one? - Yeah, you need this one?
83 00:03:42,285 00:03:43,870 - No, goddamn it! - No, goddamn it!
84 00:03:43,953 00:03:46,122 I said respond only to "Agent Hart." I said respond only to "Agent Hart."
85 00:03:46,206 00:03:48,208 - Fuck. - Fuck.
86 00:03:50,210 00:03:52,045 You just said that. I fucked up. You just said that. I fucked up.
87 00:03:52,128 00:03:54,047 I'm sorry. That's not gonna happen again. I'm sorry. That's not gonna happen again.
88 00:03:54,130 00:03:55,256 Why don't you just call me Kevin? Why don't you just call me Kevin?
89 00:03:55,340 00:03:57,300 - Okay, in your life, have you ever heard - Okay, in your life, have you ever heard
90 00:03:57,383 00:04:00,720 an action star leading man ever called "Kevin"? an action star leading man ever called "Kevin"?
91 00:04:02,096 00:04:04,265 - I mean, Kevin James in Mall Cop. -No, no. - I mean, Kevin James in Mall Cop. -No, no.
92 00:04:04,349 00:04:06,392 - Kevin is the name of a punk bitch. - Kevin is the name of a punk bitch.
93 00:04:06,476 00:04:09,395 Ethan Hunt. That is an action star name. Ethan Hunt. That is an action star name.
94 00:04:09,479 00:04:13,066 Tom Cruise-- who's my alumni-- for nine years of his life, Tom Cruise-- who's my alumni-- for nine years of his life,
95 00:04:13,149 00:04:15,485 he only responded to "Ethan Hunt." he only responded to "Ethan Hunt."
96 00:04:15,568 00:04:17,111 Whether he was on camera Whether he was on camera
97 00:04:17,195 00:04:18,905 or off camera, whether he was... - Wow. or off camera, whether he was... - Wow.
98 00:04:18,988 00:04:21,366 - ...in the shower or on the toilet, whether he was fucking - ...in the shower or on the toilet, whether he was fucking
99 00:04:21,449 00:04:22,617 or not fucking. - All right, okay. or not fucking. - All right, okay.
100 00:04:22,700 00:04:25,453 I fuck-- I understand, Coach Ron. I fuck-- I understand, Coach Ron.
101 00:04:25,537 00:04:27,497 - Do you? Do you really? - Do you? Do you really?
102 00:04:27,580 00:04:29,207 I hope so. I hope so.
103 00:04:29,290 00:04:32,335 For your sake, 'cause your life depends on it. For your sake, 'cause your life depends on it.
104 00:04:34,087 00:04:36,172 Okay, next lesson. Okay, next lesson.
105 00:04:36,256 00:04:38,800 Every leading man needs to know how to run Every leading man needs to know how to run
106 00:04:38,883 00:04:40,843 into a burning building and save a stranger. into a burning building and save a stranger.
107 00:04:40,927 00:04:42,053 - Mm. - Mm.
108 00:04:45,932 00:04:48,226 Wow. Wow.
109 00:04:48,309 00:04:51,145 Holy shit, how'd you do that? - And the stranger Holy shit, how'd you do that? - And the stranger
110 00:04:51,229 00:04:55,149 that we are going to save today is our own Action Star dummy that we are going to save today is our own Action Star dummy
111 00:04:55,233 00:04:57,026 Lil Kevin. Lil Kevin.
112 00:04:58,319 00:04:59,946 - That supposed to be me? - That supposed to be me?
113 00:05:00,029 00:05:01,948 - I don't see the resemblance. - I don't see the resemblance.
114 00:05:02,031 00:05:03,324 - Are you fucking kidding... - No, w-- - Are you fucking kidding... - No, w--
115 00:05:03,408 00:05:05,994 We-we've had this dummy for years, buddy. We-we've had this dummy for years, buddy.
116 00:05:06,077 00:05:07,662 - Oh, hell no! - Oh, hell no!
117 00:05:07,745 00:05:09,163 - Bitch, that's my line. - Bitch, that's my line.
118 00:05:09,247 00:05:10,832 I've said that line in, like, 12 movies. I've said that line in, like, 12 movies.
119 00:05:10,915 00:05:12,876 - Agent Hart, are you a narcissist? - Agent Hart, are you a narcissist?
120 00:05:12,959 00:05:15,503 - No. - Do you think the whole world is all about you? - No. - Do you think the whole world is all about you?
121 00:05:15,587 00:05:16,713 - That's not, I'm not... - No, no. - That's not, I'm not... - No, no.
122 00:05:16,796 00:05:19,048 You look at you and then you look at him. You look at you and then you look at him.
123 00:05:19,132 00:05:20,216 - That's why I... - Look at you and look at him. - That's why I... - Look at you and look at him.
124 00:05:20,300 00:05:22,176 Do you see any resemblance? Do you see any resemblance?
125 00:05:22,260 00:05:24,178 - Kinda sorta, man. - Kinda sorta, man.
126 00:05:24,262 00:05:26,055 O-Okay. All right, okay. O-Okay. All right, okay.
127 00:05:26,139 00:05:27,682 Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm crazy.
128 00:05:27,765 00:05:29,684 - Help! Help me! - Help! Help me!
129 00:05:29,767 00:05:32,103 Oh, hell no! Help! Oh, hell no! Help!
130 00:05:32,186 00:05:34,063 Help me! Oh, hell no! Help me! Oh, hell no!
131 00:05:34,147 00:05:36,983 - Now, safety during stunts is of the utmost importance. - Now, safety during stunts is of the utmost importance.
132 00:05:37,066 00:05:40,445 - Yeah, but I mean, that's why you got stuntmen, right? - Yeah, but I mean, that's why you got stuntmen, right?
133 00:05:40,528 00:05:42,071 - Watch it. - Watch it.
134 00:05:42,155 00:05:43,740 - No, for the other guys. Not for me. - No, for the other guys. Not for me.
135 00:05:43,823 00:05:45,909 The-the lightweights. I don't... The-the lightweights. I don't...
136 00:05:45,992 00:05:48,494 - Okay. Your jacket is flame-retardant, - Okay. Your jacket is flame-retardant,
137 00:05:48,578 00:05:50,955 which means that if you catch on fire, which means that if you catch on fire,
138 00:05:51,039 00:05:53,249 don't panic, I will come in and put you out. don't panic, I will come in and put you out.
139 00:05:53,333 00:05:56,252 - Okay. Y-You're gonna... - Okay. Y-You're gonna...
140 00:05:56,336 00:05:58,213 Ok-- I feel, I feel good, I feel good about that. Ok-- I feel, I feel good, I feel good about that.
141 00:05:58,296 00:06:00,840 - When you're ready, I want you to storm the house, - When you're ready, I want you to storm the house,
142 00:06:00,924 00:06:03,426 find the victim and bring him to safety. find the victim and bring him to safety.
143 00:06:05,386 00:06:06,971 What is that? What is that?
144 00:06:08,389 00:06:09,349 What are you doing? I-I don't... What are you doing? I-I don't...
145 00:06:09,432 00:06:10,391 I don't... I don't...
146 00:06:10,475 00:06:12,477 - Psyching myself up. - Psyching myself up.
147 00:06:17,899 00:06:20,485 It's hot. It's hot.
148 00:06:20,568 00:06:22,278 Hot. Hot.
149 00:06:33,456 00:06:36,876 It's fucking hot! Where the fuck are you at? It's fucking hot! Where the fuck are you at?
150 00:06:36,960 00:06:41,297 Oh, God. Oh, fuck, I can't see shit. Oh, God. Oh, fuck, I can't see shit.
151 00:06:41,381 00:06:42,715 Lil Kev? Lil Kev?
152 00:06:42,799 00:06:44,259 - Excuse me? - Excuse me?
153 00:06:45,426 00:06:47,387 Are you Ron Wilcox? - Well, hello. Are you Ron Wilcox? - Well, hello.
154 00:06:47,470 00:06:49,222 How are you? - Jordan King. How are you? - Jordan King.
155 00:06:49,305 00:06:51,224 - We've been waiting for you. - We've been waiting for you.
156 00:06:51,307 00:06:52,642 - Help! Help me! - I got you, buddy. - Help! Help me! - I got you, buddy.
157 00:06:52,725 00:06:54,477 I got you, Little Kev! - Oh, hell no! I got you, Little Kev! - Oh, hell no!
158 00:06:54,561 00:06:56,896 - I'm about to save your little beautiful black ass. - I'm about to save your little beautiful black ass.
159 00:06:56,980 00:06:59,858 - Help! Help me! - Help! Help me!
160 00:06:59,941 00:07:01,359 Oh, hell no! Oh, hell no!
161 00:07:01,442 00:07:03,278 - What the fuck? - Help! Help me! - What the fuck? - Help! Help me!
162 00:07:03,361 00:07:06,322 - Who's this? What the...? - Oh, hell no! - Who's this? What the...? - Oh, hell no!
163 00:07:06,406 00:07:08,950 - Oh! - Help! Help me! - Oh! - Help! Help me!
164 00:07:10,159 00:07:11,744 Oh, hell no! - It's fucking hot! Oh, hell no! - It's fucking hot!
165 00:07:11,828 00:07:13,788 - Help! Help me! - Get your ass up. - Help! Help me! - Get your ass up.
166 00:07:13,872 00:07:15,874 - Yeah, um, I'm just so nervous. - Yeah, um, I'm just so nervous.
167 00:07:15,957 00:07:18,710 I've never been in an action movie before. I've never been in an action movie before.
168 00:07:18,793 00:07:20,253 I just want bring my A game here. I just want bring my A game here.
169 00:07:20,336 00:07:22,130 - Oh, shit! Oh, shit! - 90% is mental, okay? - Oh, shit! Oh, shit! - 90% is mental, okay?
170 00:07:22,213 00:07:23,590 - It's hot! It's hot! - You are gonna be fantastic. - It's hot! It's hot! - You are gonna be fantastic.
171 00:07:23,673 00:07:26,843 - Coach Ron! - I just know it. - Coach Ron! - I just know it.
172 00:07:26,926 00:07:28,678 - Oh, shit, is he okay? - Oh, shit, is he okay?
173 00:07:28,761 00:07:32,557 - Oh, Christ, you leave this guy alone for five seconds. Geez. - Oh, Christ, you leave this guy alone for five seconds. Geez.
174 00:07:32,640 00:07:34,475 - Put me out! Put me out, put me out, put me out! - Put me out! Put me out, put me out, put me out!