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1 00:00:01,793 00:00:03,754 All right, who's ready to have a good time, huh? All right, who's ready to have a good time, huh?
2 00:00:03,837 00:00:05,923 That's right. That's what I like to hear. That's right. That's what I like to hear.
3 00:00:06,006 00:00:08,175 Uh, show of hands, how many people have, uh, Uh, show of hands, how many people have, uh,
4 00:00:08,258 00:00:10,219 been to a taping of a TV show before? been to a taping of a TV show before?
5 00:00:10,302 00:00:11,845 Thank you. Okay. Thank you. Okay.
6 00:00:11,929 00:00:14,806 Just remember: "The movie's hilarious. Just remember: "The movie's hilarious.
7 00:00:14,890 00:00:16,225 Everyone buy tickets." Everyone buy tickets."
8 00:00:16,308 00:00:17,643 Let me ask you a question. - Yeah. Let me ask you a question. - Yeah.
9 00:00:17,726 00:00:19,728 Do you think I'm good in the movie? Do you think I'm good in the movie?
10 00:00:19,811 00:00:21,897 Come on, Kev. I'm your agent. Of course I think you're good Come on, Kev. I'm your agent. Of course I think you're good
11 00:00:21,980 00:00:23,941 in the movie. You know who else thinks you're good in the movie? in the movie. You know who else thinks you're good in the movie?
12 00:00:24,024 00:00:25,859 The studio. The studio.
13 00:00:25,943 00:00:27,736 Now go knock 'em dead. Big smiles, big laughs. Now go knock 'em dead. Big smiles, big laughs.
14 00:00:27,819 00:00:30,322 America's funny man. America's funny man.
15 00:00:30,405 00:00:32,491 And, uh, we're gonna have a great time, all right? And, uh, we're gonna have a great time, all right?
16 00:00:32,574 00:00:33,909 "America's funny man." "America's funny man."
17 00:00:37,162 00:00:39,831 Oh, now, Kev, people are just raving Oh, now, Kev, people are just raving
18 00:00:39,915 00:00:42,876 about this new movie of yours. - Oh, my God, they're raving. about this new movie of yours. - Oh, my God, they're raving.
19 00:00:42,960 00:00:44,461 You are working with You are working with
20 00:00:44,545 00:00:46,463 Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson,
21 00:00:46,547 00:00:48,257 playing his comedy sidekick again. playing his comedy sidekick again.
22 00:00:48,340 00:00:49,883 What is this, the sixth time now? What is this, the sixth time now?
23 00:00:49,967 00:00:51,051 Number six. Number six.
24 00:00:51,134 00:00:52,803 How do you keep it so fresh? How do you keep it so fresh?
25 00:00:52,886 00:00:55,097 I mean, look, Dwayne and I are, um... I mean, look, Dwayne and I are, um...
26 00:00:55,180 00:00:56,515 You know, we're friends. You know, we're friends.
27 00:00:56,598 00:00:57,641 #Jealous. - Lucky. #Jealous. - Lucky.
28 00:00:59,142 00:01:01,937 He's lucky, too. He's lucky, too. He's lucky, too. He's lucky, too.
29 00:01:02,020 00:01:03,730 But I mean, look, when you are friends, But I mean, look, when you are friends,
30 00:01:03,814 00:01:05,148 you feed off of each other. you feed off of each other.
31 00:01:05,232 00:01:07,734 That energy, of course, transfers, but, uh, That energy, of course, transfers, but, uh,
32 00:01:07,818 00:01:09,820 I don't know, I would like to think of my, my characters I don't know, I would like to think of my, my characters
33 00:01:09,903 00:01:11,822 as, as heroes, as well. as, as heroes, as well.
34 00:01:13,991 00:01:15,909 I-I don't know what the... I-I don't know what the...
35 00:01:15,993 00:01:17,744 I don't know why they laugh. I don't know why they laugh.
36 00:01:17,828 00:01:19,371 I'm very serious. I'm very serious.
37 00:01:19,454 00:01:20,998 You know, I've-I've actually... I've been... You know, I've-I've actually... I've been...
38 00:01:21,081 00:01:23,292 I've been trying to become a leading man, you know? I've been trying to become a leading man, you know?
39 00:01:23,375 00:01:25,127 Do more of an action star thing. Do more of an action star thing.
40 00:01:25,210 00:01:27,212 But I've been... I've been somewhat typecast. But I've been... I've been somewhat typecast.
41 00:01:27,296 00:01:29,131 For some reason, people only see me as the funny guy. For some reason, people only see me as the funny guy.
42 00:01:29,214 00:01:31,049 You make me laugh. Yeah. No. Thank you. Glad... You make me laugh. Yeah. No. Thank you. Glad...
43 00:01:31,133 00:01:32,676 Glad, you know, appreciate it. - I'm not an easy audience. Glad, you know, appreciate it. - I'm not an easy audience.
44 00:01:34,261 00:01:36,180 Yeah, you know, but it's just... It's... I can do more Yeah, you know, but it's just... It's... I can do more
45 00:01:36,263 00:01:40,267 than show up and do the funny or do the dance. I'm... than show up and do the funny or do the dance. I'm...
46 00:01:40,350 00:01:42,102 Would you, though? - Would you do that dance? Would you, though? - Would you do that dance?
47 00:01:42,186 00:01:43,228 Come on. - Come on. Come on. - Come on.
48 00:01:43,312 00:01:44,605 Who wants to see Kevin dance? Who wants to see Kevin dance?
49 00:01:44,688 00:01:46,190 Huh? Huh?
50 00:01:46,273 00:01:47,816 We'll get the Macarena going. Anybody? We'll get the Macarena going. Anybody?
51 00:01:47,900 00:01:49,443 We would love that. - No. We would love that. - No.
52 00:01:49,526 00:01:51,278 No. No.
53 00:01:51,361 00:01:53,030 I'm not... I'm not gonna dance. I'm not... I'm not gonna dance.
54 00:01:53,113 00:01:55,199 Next time. Next time, then, for sure. Next time. Next time, then, for sure.
55 00:01:55,282 00:01:56,783 Oh, dear. - Uh, but getting back to the movie, Oh, dear. - Uh, but getting back to the movie,
56 00:01:56,867 00:01:58,660 t-tell-tell us just how great this movie is. t-tell-tell us just how great this movie is.
57 00:01:58,744 00:02:00,078 The, uh, the movie's garbage. The, uh, the movie's garbage.
58 00:02:00,162 00:02:01,496 Sorry. Sorry.
59 00:02:01,580 00:02:03,498 Yeah. The movie's garbage. Yeah. The movie's garbage.
60 00:02:03,582 00:02:05,125 Take the movie, ball it up, Take the movie, ball it up,
61 00:02:05,209 00:02:06,543 throw it in the trash can. throw it in the trash can.
62 00:02:06,627 00:02:08,128 How many times do you need to see me How many times do you need to see me
63 00:02:08,212 00:02:10,881 in a car with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, in a car with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson,
64 00:02:10,964 00:02:13,383 and I'm the comedy sidekick, and he's saving lives, and I'm the comedy sidekick, and he's saving lives,
65 00:02:13,467 00:02:16,178 and I got a catchphrase: "Oh, hell no!"? and I got a catchphrase: "Oh, hell no!"?
66 00:02:16,261 00:02:17,429 We love it when you say that. We love it when you say that.
67 00:02:17,513 00:02:19,056 Oh, yeah. Can you do it again? - Yeah. Oh, yeah. Can you do it again? - Yeah.
68 00:02:19,139 00:02:20,849 Here's my question: why can't I be an action star? Here's my question: why can't I be an action star?
69 00:02:20,933 00:02:22,893 I read something online I read something online
70 00:02:22,976 00:02:24,686 a-about, uh, you being a-about, uh, you being
71 00:02:24,770 00:02:26,939 afraid of woodland creatures. - Oh, yes. afraid of woodland creatures. - Oh, yes.
72 00:02:27,022 00:02:28,565 About me what? - A beaver? About me what? - A beaver?
73 00:02:28,649 00:02:30,526 It was a s-squirrel. A squirrel. - A squirrel. It was a squirrel. It was a s-squirrel. A squirrel. - A squirrel. It was a squirrel.
74 00:02:30,609 00:02:31,527 Yes, that you have a fear of squirrels. Yes, that you have a fear of squirrels.
75 00:02:31,610 00:02:32,736 And who's afraid of a squirrel? And who's afraid of a squirrel?
76 00:02:32,819 00:02:34,071 I'm not fucking afraid of a squirrel! I'm not fucking afraid of a squirrel!
77 00:02:34,154 00:02:35,948 Okay. - I'm not afraid of shit. Okay. - I'm not afraid of shit.
78 00:02:36,031 00:02:37,241 Okay, you've said it. You've made your point there. Okay, you've said it. You've made your point there.
79 00:02:37,324 00:02:39,243 I'm not afraid of shit. - Yeah. I'm not afraid of shit. - Yeah.
80 00:02:39,326 00:02:40,577 And I'm more than just the guy that does comedy. And I'm more than just the guy that does comedy.
81 00:02:40,661 00:02:41,995 I'm a fucking action star, all right? I'm a fucking action star, all right?
82 00:02:42,079 00:02:43,622 So why don't you start taking me a little serious? So why don't you start taking me a little serious?
83 00:02:43,705 00:02:46,083 Tell me what I am and what I'm not. Tell me what I am and what I'm not.
84 00:02:46,166 00:02:49,044 If I didn't have what the fuck it takes, would I show this? If I didn't have what the fuck it takes, would I show this?
85 00:02:49,127 00:02:52,214 Or that? Or that?
86 00:02:52,297 00:02:53,632 Back up! - Yup. Back up! - Yup.
87 00:02:53,715 00:02:55,217 Whoa, Kev, Kev, Kev. Kev, hey. Whoa, Kev, Kev, Kev. Kev, hey.
88 00:02:55,300 00:02:57,177 You got to go back out there, say it was a joke. You got to go back out there, say it was a joke.
89 00:02:57,261 00:02:59,221 Talking about "it was a joke"? You don't get it, man. Talking about "it was a joke"? You don't get it, man.
90 00:02:59,304 00:03:01,014 All right? I'm trying to be taken seriously. All right? I'm trying to be taken seriously.
91 00:03:01,098 00:03:03,350 My whole life, I've dreamed of becoming an action hero. My whole life, I've dreamed of becoming an action hero.
92 00:03:03,433 00:03:05,102 Well, you know, maybe instead of dreaming, Well, you know, maybe instead of dreaming,
93 00:03:05,185 00:03:06,854 you should just stay in your own lane. you should just stay in your own lane.
94 00:03:06,937 00:03:08,105 What the fuck did you just say? What the fuck did you just say?
95 00:03:08,188 00:03:09,648 What are you doing? What are you doing?
96 00:03:15,279 00:03:17,573 It was a bit. We were doing a bit. It was a bit. We were doing a bit.
97 00:03:21,201 00:03:23,078 I'm not afraid of [bleep]. - Okay, you've said it. I'm not afraid of [bleep]. - Okay, you've said it.
98 00:03:23,161 00:03:24,746 You've made your point there. - I'm not afraid of [bleep]. You've made your point there. - I'm not afraid of [bleep].
99 00:03:24,830 00:03:26,164 Yeah. - And I'm more than just Yeah. - And I'm more than just
100 00:03:26,248 00:03:27,666 the guy that does comedy. the guy that does comedy.
101 00:03:27,749 00:03:29,084 I'm a [bleep] action star, all right? I'm a [bleep] action star, all right?
102 00:03:29,168 00:03:30,335 So why don't you start [bleep]? So why don't you start [bleep]?
103 00:03:30,419 00:03:32,462 - That was our star Kevin Hart, - That was our star Kevin Hart,
104 00:03:32,546 00:03:36,675 and apparently he's... going through something. and apparently he's... going through something.
105 00:03:36,758 00:03:38,886 - To say the least. You don't see Tom Cruise... - To say the least. You don't see Tom Cruise...
106 00:03:44,349 00:03:46,101 I already know what you're gonna say. I already know what you're gonna say.
107 00:03:46,185 00:03:48,020 You're gonna say, "Apologize," and then after that if I go... You're gonna say, "Apologize," and then after that if I go...
108 00:03:48,103 00:03:50,063 No, no, no. Kev, it's too late to apologize. No, no, no. Kev, it's too late to apologize.
109 00:03:50,147 00:03:52,149 The studio already removed you from the fucking billboard. The studio already removed you from the fucking billboard.
110 00:03:52,232 00:03:54,776 So I'm done? Just like that, I'm done? So I'm done? Just like that, I'm done?
111 00:03:54,860 00:03:56,195 Maybe not. Maybe not.
112 00:03:56,278 00:04:01,116 Claude Van De Velde wants to meet with you. Claude Van De Velde wants to meet with you.
113 00:04:03,452 00:04:06,205 Claude Van De Velde? You're talking about the director? Claude Van De Velde? You're talking about the director?
114 00:04:06,288 00:04:08,040 Yes. Claude Van De Velde, Yes. Claude Van De Velde,
115 00:04:08,123 00:04:10,083 director of four of the six biggest action movies director of four of the six biggest action movies
116 00:04:10,167 00:04:14,796 of all time, saw the interview and wants to meet. of all time, saw the interview and wants to meet.
117 00:04:14,880 00:04:16,298 Why? What-what...? Why? What-what...?
118 00:04:16,381 00:04:17,925 You know what? It don't matter. You know what? It don't matter.
119 00:04:18,008 00:04:20,636 It d... It doesn't even fucking matter. I'm there, okay? It d... It doesn't even fucking matter. I'm there, okay?
120 00:04:20,719 00:04:22,846 I'm there. I'm there.
121 00:04:24,723 00:04:26,433 Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
122 00:04:33,273 00:04:35,359 I have seen all your films. I have seen all your films.
123 00:04:35,442 00:04:38,779 I like all your films, but you, Kevin-- I like all your films, but you, Kevin--
124 00:04:38,862 00:04:41,281 you don't like your films. - Wow, you can tell, huh? you don't like your films. - Wow, you can tell, huh?
125 00:04:41,365 00:04:43,283 Of course I can tell. Of course I can tell.
126 00:04:43,367 00:04:46,328 You and I-- we are the same. You and I-- we are the same.
127 00:04:46,411 00:04:48,956 My movies have grossed billions of dollars. My movies have grossed billions of dollars.
128 00:04:49,039 00:04:51,166 Mm. - Who cares? Mm. - Who cares?
129 00:04:51,250 00:04:53,585 Yeah, I mean, it's not about the money, right? Yeah, I mean, it's not about the money, right?
130 00:04:53,669 00:04:58,549 It is about finding yourself inside an artistic expression. It is about finding yourself inside an artistic expression.
131 00:04:58,632 00:05:00,050 Yes. Yes.
132 00:05:00,133 00:05:02,302 I want to find you, Kevin. I want to find you, Kevin.
133 00:05:03,262 00:05:05,222 Will you let me find you? Will you let me find you?
134 00:05:05,305 00:05:08,433 You found me. I'm right here, man. You found me. I'm right here, man.
135 00:05:08,517 00:05:13,146 My next project is a serious, gritty action film. My next project is a serious, gritty action film.
136 00:05:13,230 00:05:16,859 It requires a serious, gritty actor. It requires a serious, gritty actor.
137 00:05:17,985 00:05:19,903 You, Kevin. You, Kevin.
138 00:05:19,987 00:05:22,406 I want you in the leading role. I want you in the leading role.
139 00:05:22,489 00:05:24,783 Holy shit, man. You got to be... - Oh. Holy shit, man. You got to be... - Oh.
140 00:05:24,867 00:05:26,201 Excuse you. Excuse you.
141 00:05:26,285 00:05:27,870 Watch it, man. - My apologies, sir. Watch it, man. - My apologies, sir.
142 00:05:27,953 00:05:30,622 Mark Wahlberg would not scream at a party server. Mark Wahlberg would not scream at a party server.
143 00:05:30,706 00:05:32,875 Oh, I didn't scream. I didn't... I didn't scream... Oh, I didn't scream. I didn't... I didn't scream...
144 00:05:32,958 00:05:35,294 An action star is tough, confident, An action star is tough, confident,
145 00:05:35,377 00:05:40,257 unfazed by minor details that disrupt the average layperson. unfazed by minor details that disrupt the average layperson.
146 00:05:40,340 00:05:42,259 Yeah, I... I was unfazed. Yeah, I... I was unfazed.
147 00:05:42,342 00:05:45,095 I wasn't fazed at all from that. - If you really want this part, I wasn't fazed at all from that. - If you really want this part,
148 00:05:45,179 00:05:48,265 I need you to attend a training program. I need you to attend a training program.
149 00:05:48,348 00:05:51,268 All the best action stars have gone through it. All the best action stars have gone through it.
150 00:05:51,351 00:05:53,562 I don't... You're talking, like, an action star school? I don't... You're talking, like, an action star school?
151 00:05:53,645 00:05:55,981 Stallone. Van Damme. Stallone. Van Damme.
152 00:05:56,064 00:05:57,608 Steven Seagal. Steven Seagal.
153 00:05:57,691 00:06:00,277 Jackie Chan. They're all alums. Jackie Chan. They're all alums.
154 00:06:00,360 00:06:02,696 Wow. I just kind of assumed all those guys had the... Wow. I just kind of assumed all those guys had the...
155 00:06:02,779 00:06:04,364 had the juice, had the juice,
156 00:06:04,448 00:06:05,949 the mojo. - Do you remember the mojo. - Do you remember
157 00:06:06,033 00:06:09,244 what Matt Damon was before he was Jason Bourne? what Matt Damon was before he was Jason Bourne?
158 00:06:09,328 00:06:11,872 Yeah, he-he'd just won an Oscar. Yeah, he-he'd just won an Oscar.
159 00:06:11,955 00:06:15,250 Neither do I. This program turned a no-name Matt Damon Neither do I. This program turned a no-name Matt Damon
160 00:06:15,334 00:06:18,253 into a leading man revered around the world. into a leading man revered around the world.
161 00:06:18,337 00:06:22,424 Look, with all due respect, I don't need that. Look, with all due respect, I don't need that.
162 00:06:22,508 00:06:24,510 I don't, I don't need none of that. I don't, I don't need none of that.
163 00:06:24,593 00:06:25,928 I'm ready now. I'm ready now.
164 00:06:26,011 00:06:29,181 I'm ready right now. I'm ready right now.
165 00:06:29,264 00:06:30,807 Down here, Kevin. Down here, Kevin.
166 00:06:30,891 00:06:33,977 You don't think you need training, You don't think you need training,
167 00:06:34,061 00:06:36,313 you want the part right now. you want the part right now.
168 00:06:36,396 00:06:41,151 Well, your new part is waiting for you on that rooftop. Well, your new part is waiting for you on that rooftop.
169 00:06:44,279 00:06:46,198 Go and get it! Go and get it!
170 00:06:59,086 00:07:00,963 Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
171 00:07:01,046 00:07:03,298 Help! Help me! Help! Help me!
172 00:07:03,382 00:07:05,509 Help me! - So good. Help me! - So good.
173 00:07:05,592 00:07:07,177 He's doing his famous "Help me" scene He's doing his famous "Help me" scene
174 00:07:07,261 00:07:09,012 from Ride Along 2. - Help me! Help me! from Ride Along 2. - Help me! Help me!
175 00:07:09,096 00:07:10,389 Help! Help!
176 00:07:12,307 00:07:14,518 Look, Kev, I don't love the idea Look, Kev, I don't love the idea
177 00:07:14,601 00:07:16,186 of you driving out to the middle of nowhere of you driving out to the middle of nowhere
178 00:07:16,270 00:07:18,230 to go to some... - Action star school. to go to some... - Action star school.
179 00:07:18,313 00:07:20,232 Right, yes. That, Kev. Right, yes. That, Kev.
180 00:07:20,315 00:07:22,317 Maybe we just wait a little longer. Maybe we just wait a little longer.
181 00:07:22,401 00:07:24,444 Eventually, the studios will forget how badly you fucked up, Eventually, the studios will forget how badly you fucked up,
182 00:07:24,528 00:07:25,863 and they'll offer you a new sidekick role. and they'll offer you a new sidekick role.
183 00:07:25,946 00:07:28,740 No. This is my time to shine! No. This is my time to shine!
184 00:07:28,824 00:07:31,410 You believe in me, don't you? You believe in me, don't you?
185 00:07:31,493 00:07:33,245 Don't you? Don't you?
186 00:07:33,328 00:07:35,414 Danny? You believe in... Danny? You believe in...
187 00:07:35,497 00:07:37,416 Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
188 00:07:37,499 00:07:39,459 Damn reception. Damn reception.
189 00:07:47,301 00:07:49,303 Oh, hell, no. Oh, hell, no.
190 00:07:59,855 00:08:02,357 Ron Wilcox? Ron Wilcox?
191 00:08:03,442 00:08:05,277 Shit. Shit.
192 00:08:05,360 00:08:07,196 Don't be a bitch, Kevin. Don't be a bitch, Kevin.
193 00:08:07,279 00:08:10,115 Be Academy Award-winning Matt Damon. Be Academy Award-winning Matt Damon.
194 00:08:10,199 00:08:13,243 Get the fuck off my car. Get the fuck off my car.
195 00:08:16,872 00:08:20,292 Um, hello? Um, hello?
196 00:08:22,044 00:08:24,505 Anybody here? Anybody here?
197 00:08:25,672 00:08:27,424 Claude Van De Velde sent me. Claude Van De Velde sent me.
198 00:08:27,508 00:08:29,551 No, no. You tell me what you want to tell me. No, no. You tell me what you want to tell me.
199 00:08:29,635 00:08:31,512 Why are you here? Why are you here?
200 00:08:31,595 00:08:33,347 Why are you here? - Where's my nephew Rodrigo? Why are you here? - Where's my nephew Rodrigo?
201 00:08:33,430 00:08:35,474 Uh, fellas? - What do you mean, where's your nephew? Uh, fellas? - What do you mean, where's your nephew?
202 00:08:35,557 00:08:37,309 I don't know where the fuck your nephew is. I don't know where the fuck your nephew is.
203 00:08:37,392 00:08:39,478 Hey! Hey!
204 00:08:39,561 00:08:41,730 Excuse me. - Now you don't trust me? Excuse me. - Now you don't trust me?
205 00:08:41,813 00:08:44,233 I know you murdered my nephew Rodrigo. I know you murdered my nephew Rodrigo.
206 00:08:44,316 00:08:45,901 Bullshit, motherfucker! Bullshit, motherfucker!
207 00:08:45,984 00:08:47,402 I didn't murder Rodrigo. I didn't murder Rodrigo.
208 00:08:47,486 00:08:49,696 Look, you got your money, I got my shipment. Look, you got your money, I got my shipment.
209 00:08:49,780 00:08:51,740 I don't know where Rodrigo is. - Oh. I don't know where Rodrigo is. - Oh.
210 00:08:51,823 00:08:53,242 Maybe he's fucking your mother. Maybe he's fucking your mother.
211 00:08:53,325 00:08:55,452 Our training has already begun. Oh. Our training has already begun. Oh.
212 00:08:55,536 00:08:56,954 Okay. Uh... Okay. Uh...
213 00:08:57,037 00:08:58,372 Oh, you-you... Oh, come on! Oh, you-you... Oh, come on!
214 00:08:58,455 00:08:59,831 Bring it! Bring it! Bring it! Bring it!
215 00:08:59,915 00:09:01,542 Come on! Bring that bat, motherfucker! Come on! Bring that bat, motherfucker!
216 00:09:01,625 00:09:03,836 Hey! Hey!
217 00:09:03,919 00:09:07,589 You want to push somebody around, try me out. You want to push somebody around, try me out.
218 00:09:09,508 00:09:13,428 Hey, and what are you? A tough guy? Hey, and what are you? A tough guy?
219 00:09:13,512 00:09:14,972 Goddamn right I'm a tough guy. Goddamn right I'm a tough guy.
220 00:09:15,055 00:09:16,640 North Philadelphia tough. North Philadelphia tough.
221 00:09:16,723 00:09:18,642 I'm Kevin motherfucking... I'm Kevin motherfucking...
222 00:09:18,725 00:09:20,727 Oh. Oh.