# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:06,907 00:00:08,609 (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
2 00:00:08,675 00:00:11,211 I'm so sorry, but could you please I'm so sorry, but could you please
3 00:00:11,277 00:00:13,514 stop taking selfies in here? stop taking selfies in here?
4 00:00:13,580 00:00:17,250 It's making people uncomfortable. It's making people uncomfortable.
5 00:00:17,317 00:00:19,185 No, I'm not taking selfies. No, I'm not taking selfies.
6 00:00:19,252 00:00:22,856 I'm using my phone to spy on that guy in the corner. I'm using my phone to spy on that guy in the corner.
7 00:00:22,923 00:00:24,758 Mm. That seems worse. Mm. That seems worse.
8 00:00:24,825 00:00:27,427 I'm totally taking selfies, 'cause I'm proud of my face I'm totally taking selfies, 'cause I'm proud of my face
9 00:00:27,493 00:00:29,062 and I want my phone to see it. and I want my phone to see it.
10 00:00:29,129 00:00:30,496 It's a stakeout. The man's a thief. It's a stakeout. The man's a thief.
11 00:00:30,564 00:00:32,132 And I have to prove it before he finishes And I have to prove it before he finishes
12 00:00:32,198 00:00:33,900 his pulled pork platter and leaves town forever. his pulled pork platter and leaves town forever.
13 00:00:33,967 00:00:35,969 Oh, okay. Oh, okay.
14 00:00:36,036 00:00:38,204 Just please be subtle. Just please be subtle.
15 00:00:38,271 00:00:39,239 Sure, no problem. Subtle. Sure, no problem. Subtle.
16 00:00:39,305 00:00:40,807 ‐(camera clicks) ‐(shouts) ‐(camera clicks) ‐(shouts)
17 00:00:40,874 00:00:43,243 Oh. (groans) Oh. (groans)
18 00:00:43,309 00:00:45,411 (dramatic music) (dramatic music)
19 00:00:47,280 00:00:49,850 Okay. (exhales) Okay. (exhales)
20 00:00:49,916 00:00:51,284 ‐Oh, shit. ‐What? ‐Oh, shit. ‐What?
21 00:00:51,351 00:00:52,586 Guess who just walked in. Guess who just walked in.
22 00:00:52,653 00:00:55,021 Heather Culbreth from lake patrol. Heather Culbreth from lake patrol.
23 00:00:55,088 00:00:58,058 ‐Oh, wow. ‐Location is clear, over. ‐Oh, wow. ‐Location is clear, over.
24 00:00:58,124 00:00:59,025 (laughs) She says "over" (laughs) She says "over"
25 00:00:59,092 00:01:00,226 into her walkie‐talkie. into her walkie‐talkie.
26 00:01:00,293 00:01:01,494 ‐Can I ask you a question? ‐What? Sure. ‐Can I ask you a question? ‐What? Sure.
27 00:01:01,562 00:01:03,029 ‐It's a personal question. ‐Oh. ‐It's a personal question. ‐Oh.
28 00:01:03,096 00:01:04,197 What is going on with you guys? What is going on with you guys?
29 00:01:04,264 00:01:05,198 ‐What? ‐You and Heather. ‐What? ‐You and Heather.
30 00:01:05,265 00:01:06,800 Nothing. Obviously nothing. Nothing. Obviously nothing.
31 00:01:06,867 00:01:09,002 Uh, well, then why are we taking all these cases Uh, well, then why are we taking all these cases
32 00:01:09,069 00:01:10,370 down by the lake, huh? down by the lake, huh?
33 00:01:10,436 00:01:12,272 The Mystery of the Capsized Canoe The Mystery of the Capsized Canoe
34 00:01:12,338 00:01:13,907 and the Mystery of the Moldy Towels and the Mystery of the Moldy Towels
35 00:01:13,974 00:01:14,975 and the Mystery of the so‐called and the Mystery of the so‐called
36 00:01:15,041 00:01:16,543 Sunken Treasure. Sunken Treasure.
37 00:01:16,610 00:01:18,311 Yeah, uh, a city's waterfront is always a nexus of crime. Yeah, uh, a city's waterfront is always a nexus of crime.
38 00:01:18,378 00:01:19,713 Come on, man, the last one Come on, man, the last one
39 00:01:19,780 00:01:22,482 was you snorkeling down to get some kid's quarter was you snorkeling down to get some kid's quarter
40 00:01:22,549 00:01:23,950 out of the mud‐‐ a quarter. out of the mud‐‐ a quarter.
41 00:01:24,017 00:01:26,252 Just admit it, that you've been hoping to see her again Just admit it, that you've been hoping to see her again
42 00:01:26,319 00:01:27,588 because you love her. because you love her.
43 00:01:27,654 00:01:28,889 David, David, shh! David, David, shh!
44 00:01:28,955 00:01:31,057 (sighs) Fine. You're right. (sighs) Fine. You're right.
45 00:01:31,124 00:01:32,225 I have a thing for her. I have a thing for her.
46 00:01:32,292 00:01:33,927 So tell her, man. She's right there. So tell her, man. She's right there.
47 00:01:33,994 00:01:35,361 It wouldn't be appropriate. It wouldn't be appropriate.
48 00:01:35,428 00:01:37,230 I mean, I used to be her employer. I mean, I used to be her employer.
49 00:01:37,297 00:01:38,632 You were 13 years old back then, you dummy. You were 13 years old back then, you dummy.
50 00:01:38,699 00:01:40,834 ‐I just think ethically‐‐ ‐(groans) ‐I just think ethically‐‐ ‐(groans)
51 00:01:40,901 00:01:41,902 Oh, my God. Hey, guys. Oh, my God. Hey, guys.
52 00:01:41,968 00:01:43,269 John, look who it is. John, look who it is.
53 00:01:43,336 00:01:44,337 Look, it's Heather Culbreth in the Lunch Hut. Look, it's Heather Culbreth in the Lunch Hut.
54 00:01:44,404 00:01:45,706 Yes, I can see that. Yes, I can see that.
55 00:01:45,772 00:01:47,307 You know what, this calls for a celebration. You know what, this calls for a celebration.
56 00:01:47,373 00:01:48,408 Oh. Oh.
57 00:01:48,474 00:01:50,076 Shall we feast from my horn of plenty? Shall we feast from my horn of plenty?
58 00:01:50,143 00:01:51,444 ‐(horn blares) ‐(yells) ‐(horn blares) ‐(yells)
59 00:01:51,512 00:01:53,714 ‐Why do you have that? ‐Really, David? ‐Why do you have that? ‐Really, David?
60 00:01:53,780 00:01:56,116 I love to have fun and celebrate my friends. I love to have fun and celebrate my friends.
61 00:01:56,182 00:01:57,383 ‐Hi, Heather. ‐Hey. ‐Hi, Heather. ‐Hey.
62 00:01:57,450 00:01:59,485 So the Lunch Hut's still your spot, huh? So the Lunch Hut's still your spot, huh?
63 00:01:59,553 00:02:02,288 Uh, yeah. So what, uh, brings you here? Uh, yeah. So what, uh, brings you here?
64 00:02:02,355 00:02:05,425 Advanced security for the commish. Advanced security for the commish.
65 00:02:05,491 00:02:06,527 ‐(radio squawks) ‐GLEN: Culbreth. ‐(radio squawks) ‐GLEN: Culbreth.
66 00:02:06,593 00:02:08,128 Are we still clear? Over. Are we still clear? Over.
67 00:02:08,194 00:02:10,731 Yes, Glen, we're still clear. Over. Yes, Glen, we're still clear. Over.
68 00:02:10,797 00:02:12,498 Does seem a little intense for the commissioner Does seem a little intense for the commissioner
69 00:02:12,566 00:02:14,034 of the Water and Sewer Authority. of the Water and Sewer Authority.
70 00:02:14,100 00:02:15,669 Oh, you think? Oh, you think?
71 00:02:15,736 00:02:18,772 (militaristic marching music) (militaristic marching music)
72 00:02:18,839 00:02:21,742 ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪
73 00:02:21,808 00:02:23,744 Ugh, no. Ugh, no.
74 00:02:23,810 00:02:26,179 Take me to the President's Physician in New Downtown. Take me to the President's Physician in New Downtown.
75 00:02:26,246 00:02:28,582 ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪
76 00:02:28,649 00:02:30,250 (sighs) Welcome to my life. (sighs) Welcome to my life.
77 00:02:30,316 00:02:31,351 ‐(radio squawks) ‐GLEN: Culbreth. ‐(radio squawks) ‐GLEN: Culbreth.
78 00:02:31,417 00:02:33,754 We're wheels up for New Downtown. Over. We're wheels up for New Downtown. Over.
79 00:02:33,820 00:02:34,821 I'm gonna stay here I'm gonna stay here
80 00:02:34,888 00:02:37,223 and do a post‐op sweep for bugs. Over. and do a post‐op sweep for bugs. Over.
81 00:02:37,290 00:02:38,759 GLEN: Copy that. Over and out. GLEN: Copy that. Over and out.
82 00:02:38,825 00:02:41,294 Boom! I just bought myself two hours Boom! I just bought myself two hours
83 00:02:41,361 00:02:43,496 of fucking‐around time. of fucking‐around time.
84 00:02:43,564 00:02:44,898 ‐Can I join you? ‐Um‐‐ ‐Can I join you? ‐Um‐‐
85 00:02:44,965 00:02:46,533 ‐Totally. ‐Sure. ‐Totally. ‐Sure.
86 00:02:46,600 00:02:48,334 See, look at this. Isn't this nice? See, look at this. Isn't this nice?
87 00:02:48,401 00:02:50,671 Three old friends, laughing and loving life Three old friends, laughing and loving life
88 00:02:50,737 00:02:52,005 as only friends can. as only friends can.
89 00:02:52,072 00:02:53,206 ‐Okay. ‐Sure, David. ‐Okay. ‐Sure, David.
90 00:02:53,273 00:02:54,440 They should make a show about friends. They should make a show about friends.
91 00:02:54,508 00:02:56,142 Hey, Hunch, I saw you snorkeling Hey, Hunch, I saw you snorkeling
92 00:02:56,209 00:02:57,177 at the lake the other day. at the lake the other day.
93 00:02:57,243 00:02:59,479 You saw‐‐I‐‐ well, I didn't see you. You saw‐‐I‐‐ well, I didn't see you.
94 00:02:59,546 00:03:01,582 Well, actually, I only saw your calves Well, actually, I only saw your calves
95 00:03:01,648 00:03:03,416 flopping above the surface. flopping above the surface.
96 00:03:03,483 00:03:05,418 They're unmistakable. They're unmistakable.
97 00:03:05,485 00:03:07,420 Well, I've gotten some compliments. Well, I've gotten some compliments.
98 00:03:07,487 00:03:09,723 You know what, John? Here comes another compliment You know what, John? Here comes another compliment
99 00:03:09,790 00:03:12,058 because your calves are delectable, because your calves are delectable,
100 00:03:12,125 00:03:15,395 and Heather, you are a good judge of sexy legs. and Heather, you are a good judge of sexy legs.
101 00:03:15,461 00:03:16,530 Thank you, David. That's enough. Thank you, David. That's enough.
102 00:03:16,597 00:03:19,265 Uh, I was on a case at the time, so yeah. Uh, I was on a case at the time, so yeah.
103 00:03:19,332 00:03:21,334 Just like we are on a case right now. Just like we are on a case right now.
104 00:03:21,401 00:03:22,335 ‐All right, David. ‐Wait, really? ‐All right, David. ‐Wait, really?
105 00:03:22,402 00:03:23,403 Well, all right, let's not get into‐‐ Well, all right, let's not get into‐‐
106 00:03:23,469 00:03:25,071 ‐It's a stakeout, Heather. ‐Ugh. ‐It's a stakeout, Heather. ‐Ugh.
107 00:03:25,138 00:03:30,076 We're staking out Dr. Neckbeard McBeef Jerky Breath over there. We're staking out Dr. Neckbeard McBeef Jerky Breath over there.
108 00:03:30,143 00:03:34,347 HEATHER: Mm. He is a jerk, and he's from South Carolina. HEATHER: Mm. He is a jerk, and he's from South Carolina.
109 00:03:34,414 00:03:36,883 Well, obviously. ‐Uh, not‐viously. Well, obviously. ‐Uh, not‐viously.
110 00:03:36,950 00:03:38,051 What are you talking about? What are you talking about?
111 00:03:38,118 00:03:40,554 HEATHER: First, he brings his own barbecue sauce HEATHER: First, he brings his own barbecue sauce
112 00:03:40,621 00:03:43,156 to the Lunch Hut, so he's an asshole. to the Lunch Hut, so he's an asshole.
113 00:03:43,223 00:03:45,491 Two, it's mustard‐based. Two, it's mustard‐based.
114 00:03:45,559 00:03:47,260 That's some South Carolina shit. That's some South Carolina shit.
115 00:03:47,327 00:03:48,494 Damn, you're smart. Damn, you're smart.
116 00:03:48,562 00:03:49,796 So what's the case? So what's the case?
117 00:03:49,863 00:03:51,097 Oh, well, my client‐‐ Oh, well, my client‐‐
118 00:03:51,164 00:03:52,799 Our client. Let's remember. Our client. Let's remember.
119 00:03:52,866 00:03:53,900 It's our client. It's our client.
120 00:03:53,967 00:03:57,871 The client has a collection of, um, vintage cars. The client has a collection of, um, vintage cars.
121 00:03:57,938 00:03:59,239 Ooh, fancy client. Ooh, fancy client.
122 00:03:59,305 00:04:00,473 ‐Uh‐‐ ‐Congratulations. ‐Uh‐‐ ‐Congratulations.
123 00:04:00,541 00:04:02,008 Not really. The client is actually‐‐ Not really. The client is actually‐‐
124 00:04:02,075 00:04:03,544 It's confidential, David. That's‐‐ It's confidential, David. That's‐‐
125 00:04:03,610 00:04:05,278 ‐Oh, really? ‐Identity's confidential, yes. ‐Oh, really? ‐Identity's confidential, yes.
126 00:04:05,345 00:04:07,447 Anyway, the prize of our client's collection Anyway, the prize of our client's collection
127 00:04:07,514 00:04:09,683 is a 1968 Dodge Custom Charger. is a 1968 Dodge Custom Charger.
128 00:04:09,750 00:04:13,587 Wait, '68 Custom‐‐it better not be the General Lee. Wait, '68 Custom‐‐it better not be the General Lee.
129 00:04:13,654 00:04:16,089 No, no, no, no. This is a hot pink car. No, no, no, no. This is a hot pink car.
130 00:04:16,156 00:04:17,290 Oh, that's actually quite rare. Oh, that's actually quite rare.
131 00:04:17,357 00:04:18,559 Exactly. Exactly.
132 00:04:18,625 00:04:20,861 The man in the corner is Ronald Pronk, The man in the corner is Ronald Pronk,
133 00:04:20,927 00:04:23,196 a car collector passing through town. a car collector passing through town.
134 00:04:23,263 00:04:24,831 When he saw my client's Charger, When he saw my client's Charger,
135 00:04:24,898 00:04:26,700 he noted a crack in the windshield, he noted a crack in the windshield,
136 00:04:26,767 00:04:28,401 and offered to restore it at his shop and offered to restore it at his shop
137 00:04:28,468 00:04:30,370 in Charleston, for free. in Charleston, for free.
138 00:04:30,436 00:04:31,872 That doesn't sound shady at all. That doesn't sound shady at all.
139 00:04:31,938 00:04:34,374 Yeah, well, my client is somewhat naive. Yeah, well, my client is somewhat naive.
140 00:04:34,440 00:04:36,209 You might say he requires some schooling. You might say he requires some schooling.
141 00:04:36,276 00:04:37,310 ‐Okay, David. ‐You could say that. ‐Okay, David. ‐You could say that.
142 00:04:37,377 00:04:39,345 Like additional grades of schooling‐‐ Like additional grades of schooling‐‐
143 00:04:39,412 00:04:41,214 ‐All right, David, enough. ‐Are required. ‐All right, David, enough. ‐Are required.
144 00:04:41,281 00:04:42,849 So Pronk took possession of the car, So Pronk took possession of the car,
145 00:04:42,916 00:04:45,251 and then let me guess, claimed someone stole it. and then let me guess, claimed someone stole it.
146 00:04:45,318 00:04:46,987 Sound familiar? Sound familiar?
147 00:04:47,053 00:04:49,189 Amber Pulman's Pog collection, seventh grade. Amber Pulman's Pog collection, seventh grade.
148 00:04:49,255 00:04:51,491 (laughs) Oh, yeah! (laughs) Oh, yeah!
149 00:04:51,558 00:04:54,795 I borrowed Amber's Pogs! I borrowed Amber's Pogs!
150 00:04:54,861 00:04:57,564 And then I sold them to Bucky Rindfuss. And then I sold them to Bucky Rindfuss.
151 00:04:57,631 00:05:01,467 And when Amber confronted me, I said they were stolen‐‐ And when Amber confronted me, I said they were stolen‐‐
152 00:05:01,535 00:05:03,770 ‐BOTH: By a werewolf. ‐By a werewolf. ‐BOTH: By a werewolf. ‐By a werewolf.
153 00:05:03,837 00:05:05,572 ‐JOHN: Right. ‐"The perfect crime." ‐JOHN: Right. ‐"The perfect crime."
154 00:05:05,639 00:05:07,574 And it was, because it turns out And it was, because it turns out
155 00:05:07,641 00:05:10,276 Amber was totally into werewolves, Amber was totally into werewolves,
156 00:05:10,343 00:05:12,078 and they turned her on. and they turned her on.
157 00:05:12,145 00:05:14,548 So we went to Umstead Park on a werewolf hunt, So we went to Umstead Park on a werewolf hunt,
158 00:05:14,615 00:05:16,917 and we wound up making out by the light of a full moon. and we wound up making out by the light of a full moon.
159 00:05:16,983 00:05:18,619 ‐(howls) ‐(clears throat) ‐(howls) ‐(clears throat)
160 00:05:18,685 00:05:20,654 But then she dumped me for Trip Kowalski But then she dumped me for Trip Kowalski
161 00:05:20,721 00:05:22,889 'cause he had a full beard in seventh grade, 'cause he had a full beard in seventh grade,
162 00:05:22,956 00:05:24,791 and I was so pissed off, and I was so pissed off,
163 00:05:24,858 00:05:26,527 I think that's why I beat both of you up I think that's why I beat both of you up
164 00:05:26,593 00:05:28,795 in Spanish class that one time. in Spanish class that one time.
165 00:05:28,862 00:05:31,097 (exhales) Friendship, nothing beats it. (exhales) Friendship, nothing beats it.
166 00:05:31,164 00:05:32,566 Seventh grade was fun, right? Seventh grade was fun, right?
167 00:05:32,633 00:05:33,567 BOTH: No, it wasn't. BOTH: No, it wasn't.
168 00:05:33,634 00:05:34,768 ‐Yes, it was. ‐No. ‐Yes, it was. ‐No.
169 00:05:34,835 00:05:36,036 ‐I don't get it. ‐Yes, it was. ‐I don't get it. ‐Yes, it was.
170 00:05:36,102 00:05:37,871 HEATHER: A stolen Charger isn't easy to hide. HEATHER: A stolen Charger isn't easy to hide.
171 00:05:37,938 00:05:39,305 Why is he still in town? Why is he still in town?
172 00:05:39,372 00:05:40,507 Pronk's arrogant. Pronk's arrogant.
173 00:05:40,574 00:05:41,908 He even offered to call the police himself, He even offered to call the police himself,
174 00:05:41,975 00:05:44,545 but my client wants to keep things quiet but my client wants to keep things quiet
175 00:05:44,611 00:05:46,747 till I can prove that Pronk's story is bogus. till I can prove that Pronk's story is bogus.
176 00:05:46,813 00:05:50,016 Got it. So what's his story? Got it. So what's his story?
177 00:05:50,083 00:05:52,285 JOHN: Pronk says he brought the Charger JOHN: Pronk says he brought the Charger
178 00:05:52,352 00:05:53,820 back to his motel parking lot. back to his motel parking lot.
179 00:05:53,887 00:05:56,356 That's where he kept his own car, a Ford Focus. That's where he kept his own car, a Ford Focus.
180 00:05:56,422 00:05:57,991 Otherwise, the lot was empty. Otherwise, the lot was empty.
181 00:05:58,058 00:05:59,025 No witnesses. No witnesses.
182 00:05:59,092 00:06:01,528 ‐When was this? ‐5:20 p. m. yesterday. ‐When was this? ‐5:20 p. m. yesterday.
183 00:06:01,595 00:06:03,564 Pronk was making his way to the lobby Pronk was making his way to the lobby
184 00:06:03,630 00:06:05,298 when an unknown robber supposedly jumped out when an unknown robber supposedly jumped out
185 00:06:05,365 00:06:06,867 from behind a bush. from behind a bush.
186 00:06:06,933 00:06:08,502 Pronk says the guy pulled a gun, Pronk says the guy pulled a gun,
187 00:06:08,569 00:06:09,936 grabbed the Charger, and took off. grabbed the Charger, and took off.
188 00:06:10,003 00:06:12,539 DAVID: And then a giant serpent appeared. DAVID: And then a giant serpent appeared.
189 00:06:12,606 00:06:14,608 ‐JOHN: David, come on. ‐DAVID: And writhed around. ‐JOHN: David, come on. ‐DAVID: And writhed around.
190 00:06:14,675 00:06:16,109 Did Pronk describe the carjacker? Did Pronk describe the carjacker?
191 00:06:16,176 00:06:17,744 Well, he... Well, he...
192 00:06:17,811 00:06:19,613 Right. Big surprise. Right. Big surprise.
193 00:06:19,680 00:06:21,081 What, he was wearing a little silver hat? What, he was wearing a little silver hat?
194 00:06:21,147 00:06:22,015 JOHN: Ugh. David. JOHN: Ugh. David.
195 00:06:22,082 00:06:25,719 Tell me about lighting conditions. Tell me about lighting conditions.
196 00:06:25,786 00:06:27,788 JOHN: Pronk says he couldn't see which way the robber went JOHN: Pronk says he couldn't see which way the robber went
197 00:06:27,854 00:06:29,856 because he was blinded by the evening sun because he was blinded by the evening sun
198 00:06:29,923 00:06:31,558 focused through the motel's glass bricks. focused through the motel's glass bricks.
199 00:06:31,625 00:06:34,027 At 5:20 p. m.? This angle isn't right. At 5:20 p. m.? This angle isn't right.
200 00:06:34,094 00:06:36,129 David, could you, uh, could you take a step back, please? David, could you, uh, could you take a step back, please?
201 00:06:36,196 00:06:38,231 ‐Ah, like this? ‐No, further, please. ‐Ah, like this? ‐No, further, please.
202 00:06:38,298 00:06:40,166 ‐Really? ‐Yeah. Go further away. ‐Really? ‐Yeah. Go further away.
203 00:06:40,233 00:06:41,635 DAVID: All right. DAVID: All right.
204 00:06:41,702 00:06:43,837 JOHN: There it is, precisely. JOHN: There it is, precisely.
205 00:06:43,904 00:06:45,572 DAVID: Um, I can't reach my disco fries now DAVID: Um, I can't reach my disco fries now
206 00:06:45,639 00:06:46,773 because of this distance. because of this distance.
207 00:06:46,840 00:06:48,609 Okay, the light tracks, Okay, the light tracks,
208 00:06:48,675 00:06:50,410 but how do we know Pronk's telling the truth but how do we know Pronk's telling the truth
209 00:06:50,476 00:06:52,478 about being in the lot at 5:20 p. m.? about being in the lot at 5:20 p. m.?
210 00:06:52,546 00:06:54,480 Ah, because, according to the Richardsville Ah, because, according to the Richardsville
211 00:06:54,548 00:06:55,649 Birding Society, Birding Society,
212 00:06:55,716 00:06:57,083 that's when a large flock of starlings that's when a large flock of starlings
213 00:06:57,150 00:06:59,252 was spotted flying directly over the motel. was spotted flying directly over the motel.
214 00:06:59,319 00:07:00,954 They defecated everywhere. They defecated everywhere.
215 00:07:03,289 00:07:04,558 Oh, shit. My phone. Oh, shit. My phone.
216 00:07:04,625 00:07:06,359 And I can't reach my disco fries. And I can't reach my disco fries.
217 00:07:06,426 00:07:07,994 Does Pronk's car have bird crap on it? Does Pronk's car have bird crap on it?
218 00:07:08,061 00:07:09,930 Yes, it does. His Ford Focus is outside. Yes, it does. His Ford Focus is outside.
219 00:07:09,996 00:07:11,297 ‐You can see for yourself. ‐HEATHER: Hmm. ‐You can see for yourself. ‐HEATHER: Hmm.
220 00:07:11,364 00:07:12,766 And the splatter pattern is consistent And the splatter pattern is consistent
221 00:07:12,833 00:07:13,967 with an overhead bombing, with an overhead bombing,
222 00:07:14,034 00:07:15,802 just like every space in motel parking lot. just like every space in motel parking lot.
223 00:07:15,869 00:07:17,971 ‐I checked myself. ‐Okay, okay. ‐I checked myself. ‐Okay, okay.
224 00:07:18,038 00:07:19,640 ‐We'll get there. ‐DAVID: Alert! ‐We'll get there. ‐DAVID: Alert!
225 00:07:19,706 00:07:22,475 Access to disco fries has been compromised. Access to disco fries has been compromised.
226 00:07:22,543 00:07:24,611 Abort mission. Abort mission.
227 00:07:24,678 00:07:27,413 As you can see, he has matured a lot. As you can see, he has matured a lot.
228 00:07:27,480 00:07:29,015 Be honest... how many times Be honest... how many times
229 00:07:29,082 00:07:31,017 have you stolen fries in your shorts, have you stolen fries in your shorts,
230 00:07:31,084 00:07:32,853 or are you suddenly mad that you never thought of it? or are you suddenly mad that you never thought of it?
231 00:07:32,919 00:07:35,622 ‐Oh, zing! ‐Okay, this dynamic sucks. ‐Oh, zing! ‐Okay, this dynamic sucks.
232 00:07:35,689 00:07:38,024 Hey, David, instead of living with your parents, Hey, David, instead of living with your parents,
233 00:07:38,091 00:07:39,993 why don't you just sleep in one of your shorts pockets? why don't you just sleep in one of your shorts pockets?
234 00:07:40,060 00:07:41,261 (both laughing) (both laughing)
235 00:07:41,327 00:07:42,729 You know what, John? You know what, John?
236 00:07:42,796 00:07:44,164 ‐You know what, buddy? ‐What? ‐You know what, buddy? ‐What?
237 00:07:44,230 00:07:45,699 Maybe Heather would be interested to know Maybe Heather would be interested to know
238 00:07:45,766 00:07:47,834 some more facts about our client. some more facts about our client.
239 00:07:47,901 00:07:48,869 ‐David, no. ‐Huh? ‐David, no. ‐Huh?
240 00:07:48,935 00:07:50,036 ‐What facts? ‐You think? ‐What facts? ‐You think?
241 00:07:50,103 00:07:52,038 David, please. David, please.
242 00:07:54,174 00:07:57,143 Heather, there is something I could tell you right now, Heather, there is something I could tell you right now,
243 00:07:57,210 00:07:58,812 but because I have matured but because I have matured
244 00:07:58,879 00:08:01,114 and I actually am a very good friend, and I actually am a very good friend,
245 00:08:01,181 00:08:03,249 I'm not going to. I'm not going to.
246 00:08:03,316 00:08:04,518 (horn blares) (horn blares)
247 00:08:04,585 00:08:05,752 (customers groan) (customers groan)
248 00:08:05,819 00:08:07,688 CUSTOMER: Stop doing that! CUSTOMER: Stop doing that!
249 00:08:07,754 00:08:09,422 What was that about? What was that about?
250 00:08:09,489 00:08:11,357 Uh, who knows with that guy, right? Uh, who knows with that guy, right?
251 00:08:11,424 00:08:12,593 Oh, wait, damnit. He's my ride. Oh, wait, damnit. He's my ride.
252 00:08:12,659 00:08:14,460 Don't worry. I have my work truck. Don't worry. I have my work truck.
253 00:08:14,528 00:08:16,597 ‐Oh. ‐Wait a sec, look. ‐Oh. ‐Wait a sec, look.
254 00:08:16,663 00:08:17,631 Don't you see it? Don't you see it?
255 00:08:17,698 00:08:18,865 Wait, what? See what? Wait, what? See what?
256 00:08:18,932 00:08:20,734 The motel parking lot was empty? The motel parking lot was empty?
257 00:08:20,801 00:08:23,504 Yeah, right, except for Pronk's Ford Focus. Yeah, right, except for Pronk's Ford Focus.
258 00:08:23,570 00:08:24,871 And the starlings defecated And the starlings defecated
259 00:08:24,938 00:08:27,708 all over the lot in every space? all over the lot in every space?
260 00:08:27,774 00:08:28,942 Yeah, every single space. Yeah, every single space.
261 00:08:29,009 00:08:30,611 Looked like a bird poop Jackson Pollock. Looked like a bird poop Jackson Pollock.
262 00:08:30,677 00:08:32,713 Okay, think about the guano in the spaces Okay, think about the guano in the spaces
263 00:08:32,779 00:08:34,515 and the guano on the Focus. and the guano on the Focus.
264 00:08:34,581 00:08:36,316 Wait, the guano on the Focus. Wait, the guano on the Focus.
265 00:08:36,382 00:08:38,251 Focus, Hunch. Focus, Hunch.
266 00:08:38,318 00:08:40,687 There was guano on the Focus, There was guano on the Focus,
267 00:08:40,754 00:08:42,488 and in every space in the lot. and in every space in the lot.
268 00:08:42,556 00:08:44,525 ‐HEATHER: Mm‐hmm. ‐JOHN: Pronk's Ford Focus ‐HEATHER: Mm‐hmm. ‐JOHN: Pronk's Ford Focus
269 00:08:44,591 00:08:46,026 couldn't have been there at 5:20 p. m. couldn't have been there at 5:20 p. m.
270 00:08:46,092 00:08:47,160 HEATHER: Yeah. HEATHER: Yeah.
271 00:08:47,227 00:08:49,095 JOHN: It would've acted as a guano shield. JOHN: It would've acted as a guano shield.
272 00:08:49,162 00:08:52,132 We can't prove that birds didn't shit on Pronk's car. We can't prove that birds didn't shit on Pronk's car.
273 00:08:52,198 00:08:54,535 But we can prove it didn't happen at 5:20 But we can prove it didn't happen at 5:20
274 00:08:54,601 00:08:56,169 in the motel parking lot, which means... in the motel parking lot, which means...
275 00:08:56,236 00:08:59,472 BOTH: He's lying! BOTH: He's lying!
276 00:08:59,540 00:09:00,507 (exhales) (exhales)
277 00:09:00,574 00:09:02,375 That was amazing. That was amazing.
278 00:09:02,442 00:09:04,778 Totally. (exhales) Totally. (exhales)
279 00:09:04,845 00:09:05,946 Look at him gloat. Look at him gloat.
280 00:09:06,012 00:09:07,714 He doesn't even know we've got him. He doesn't even know we've got him.
281 00:09:07,781 00:09:09,349 It's good to see you at work again. It's good to see you at work again.
282 00:09:09,415 00:09:11,217 Oh, thanks, yeah. Oh, thanks, yeah.
283 00:09:11,284 00:09:12,819 Uh, you know, Heather, Uh, you know, Heather,
284 00:09:12,886 00:09:14,487 I've spent the last, uh, few weeks‐‐ I've spent the last, uh, few weeks‐‐
285 00:09:14,555 00:09:17,658 Lurking around me at the lake but avoiding all eye contact? Lurking around me at the lake but avoiding all eye contact?
286 00:09:17,724 00:09:18,859 I hadn't noticed. I hadn't noticed.
287 00:09:18,925 00:09:21,194 Sorry. It's just, um... Sorry. It's just, um...
288 00:09:21,261 00:09:22,896 I'm‐‐I was embarrassed. I'm‐‐I was embarrassed.
289 00:09:22,963 00:09:24,197 Why? Why?
290 00:09:24,264 00:09:25,832 Well, you got out. Well, you got out.
291 00:09:25,899 00:09:27,367 You went out into the world, You went out into the world,
292 00:09:27,433 00:09:28,902 and I didn't. and I didn't.
293 00:09:28,969 00:09:30,170 Hunch... Hunch...
294 00:09:30,236 00:09:32,573 I thought Dicktown was enough, you know? I thought Dicktown was enough, you know?
295 00:09:32,639 00:09:35,008 But then I realized it's barely anything. But then I realized it's barely anything.
296 00:09:35,075 00:09:37,878 No, Hunch. Take it from me. No, Hunch. Take it from me.
297 00:09:37,944 00:09:40,446 The world is just different Dicktowns The world is just different Dicktowns
298 00:09:40,514 00:09:42,448 full of different dicks. full of different dicks.
299 00:09:42,516 00:09:44,618 Besides, how bad can this town be? Besides, how bad can this town be?
300 00:09:44,685 00:09:47,320 ‐I came back. ‐Yeah. No, you did. ‐I came back. ‐Yeah. No, you did.
301 00:09:47,387 00:09:50,456 Uh, okay, Heather, uh... Uh, okay, Heather, uh...
302 00:09:50,524 00:09:52,926 I'm sort of in love with you. I'm sort of in love with you.
303 00:09:52,993 00:09:55,361 Never detected that? (laughs) Never detected that? (laughs)
304 00:09:55,428 00:09:56,396 Detected that. Detected that.
305 00:09:56,462 00:09:57,430 Target's on the move. Target's on the move.
306 00:09:57,497 00:09:58,632 JOHN: What? Oh. JOHN: What? Oh.
307 00:09:58,699 00:10:00,166 Should we confront him together, Should we confront him together,
308 00:10:00,233 00:10:01,635 like in the old days? like in the old days?
309 00:10:01,702 00:10:04,037 Um, why don't you go? Um, why don't you go?
310 00:10:04,104 00:10:06,206 I'll sit here and back you up. I'll sit here and back you up.
311 00:10:06,272 00:10:08,008 Copy that. Copy that.
312 00:10:08,074 00:10:11,411 But wait a minute, a 1968 Dodge Charger But wait a minute, a 1968 Dodge Charger
313 00:10:11,477 00:10:12,646 in hot pink? in hot pink?
314 00:10:12,713 00:10:13,947 RONALD: Hey, get away from me, brigand. RONALD: Hey, get away from me, brigand.
315 00:10:14,014 00:10:17,584 Dodge didn't make a pink Charger till 1970. Dodge didn't make a pink Charger till 1970.
316 00:10:17,651 00:10:19,085 How do you steal a pink Charger How do you steal a pink Charger
317 00:10:19,152 00:10:21,021 that doesn't even exist unless‐‐ that doesn't even exist unless‐‐
318 00:10:21,087 00:10:21,988 (gasps) (gasps)
319 00:10:22,055 00:10:25,325 Help! David, where are you? Help! David, where are you?
320 00:10:25,391 00:10:28,328 (grunting) (grunting)
321 00:10:28,394 00:10:31,031 Oh, wow, you found my car. Oh, wow, you found my car.
322 00:10:31,097 00:10:33,767 It's about time, you old weirdo. It's about time, you old weirdo.
323 00:10:33,834 00:10:36,469 Peace out. I'll cass‐ap you. Peace out. I'll cass‐ap you.
324 00:10:36,537 00:10:39,840 HEATHER: (exhales) 1968 hot pink Charger, HEATHER: (exhales) 1968 hot pink Charger,
325 00:10:39,906 00:10:41,642 one of the rarest Hot Wheels on the market. one of the rarest Hot Wheels on the market.
326 00:10:41,708 00:10:43,043 Yeah, it's very valuable. Yeah, it's very valuable.
327 00:10:43,109 00:10:44,645 That's why Pronk tried to steal it. That's why Pronk tried to steal it.
328 00:10:44,711 00:10:46,813 The point is that it's a toy, Hunch. The point is that it's a toy, Hunch.
329 00:10:46,880 00:10:48,481 You're still working for children. You're still working for children.
330 00:10:48,549 00:10:49,816 Well, mostly teenagers, Well, mostly teenagers,
331 00:10:49,883 00:10:51,885 and they are extremely mature. I mean‐‐ and they are extremely mature. I mean‐‐
332 00:10:51,952 00:10:53,854 How have you not been arrested yet? How have you not been arrested yet?
333 00:10:53,920 00:10:55,388 (sighs) Honestly, I'm not sure. (sighs) Honestly, I'm not sure.
334 00:10:55,455 00:10:57,524 That's what you should be embarrassed about, Hunch, That's what you should be embarrassed about, Hunch,
335 00:10:57,591 00:10:59,459 not that you haven't left home, not that you haven't left home,
336 00:10:59,526 00:11:00,861 that you haven't grown up. that you haven't grown up.
337 00:11:00,927 00:11:03,897 Well, now that's not true, I have business cards. Well, now that's not true, I have business cards.
338 00:11:03,964 00:11:07,333 ‐I have to go. ‐Wait! Heather. ‐I have to go. ‐Wait! Heather.
339 00:11:07,400 00:11:09,335 Can I still get a ride? Can I still get a ride?
340 00:11:09,402 00:11:12,305 (bittersweet music) (bittersweet music)
341 00:11:12,372 00:11:19,179 ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪