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1 | 00:00:06,907 | 00:00:08,609 | (upbeat music) | (upbeat music) |
2 | 00:00:08,675 | 00:00:11,211 | I'm so sorry, but could you please | I'm so sorry, but could you please |
3 | 00:00:11,277 | 00:00:13,514 | stop taking selfies in here? | stop taking selfies in here? |
4 | 00:00:13,580 | 00:00:17,250 | It's making people uncomfortable. | It's making people uncomfortable. |
5 | 00:00:17,317 | 00:00:19,185 | No, I'm not taking selfies. | No, I'm not taking selfies. |
6 | 00:00:19,252 | 00:00:22,856 | I'm using my phone to spy on that guy in the corner. | I'm using my phone to spy on that guy in the corner. |
7 | 00:00:22,923 | 00:00:24,758 | Mm. That seems worse. | Mm. That seems worse. |
8 | 00:00:24,825 | 00:00:27,427 | I'm totally taking selfies, 'cause I'm proud of my face | I'm totally taking selfies, 'cause I'm proud of my face |
9 | 00:00:27,493 | 00:00:29,062 | and I want my phone to see it. | and I want my phone to see it. |
10 | 00:00:29,129 | 00:00:30,496 | It's a stakeout. The man's a thief. | It's a stakeout. The man's a thief. |
11 | 00:00:30,564 | 00:00:32,132 | And I have to prove it before he finishes | And I have to prove it before he finishes |
12 | 00:00:32,198 | 00:00:33,900 | his pulled pork platter and leaves town forever. | his pulled pork platter and leaves town forever. |
13 | 00:00:33,967 | 00:00:35,969 | Oh, okay. | Oh, okay. |
14 | 00:00:36,036 | 00:00:38,204 | Just please be subtle. | Just please be subtle. |
15 | 00:00:38,271 | 00:00:39,239 | Sure, no problem. Subtle. | Sure, no problem. Subtle. |
16 | 00:00:39,305 | 00:00:40,807 | ‐(camera clicks) ‐(shouts) | ‐(camera clicks) ‐(shouts) |
17 | 00:00:40,874 | 00:00:43,243 | Oh. (groans) | Oh. (groans) |
18 | 00:00:43,309 | 00:00:45,411 | (dramatic music) | (dramatic music) |
19 | 00:00:47,280 | 00:00:49,850 | Okay. (exhales) | Okay. (exhales) |
20 | 00:00:49,916 | 00:00:51,284 | ‐Oh, shit. ‐What? | ‐Oh, shit. ‐What? |
21 | 00:00:51,351 | 00:00:52,586 | Guess who just walked in. | Guess who just walked in. |
22 | 00:00:52,653 | 00:00:55,021 | Heather Culbreth from lake patrol. | Heather Culbreth from lake patrol. |
23 | 00:00:55,088 | 00:00:58,058 | ‐Oh, wow. ‐Location is clear, over. | ‐Oh, wow. ‐Location is clear, over. |
24 | 00:00:58,124 | 00:00:59,025 | (laughs) She says "over" | (laughs) She says "over" |
25 | 00:00:59,092 | 00:01:00,226 | into her walkie‐talkie. | into her walkie‐talkie. |
26 | 00:01:00,293 | 00:01:01,494 | ‐Can I ask you a question? ‐What? Sure. | ‐Can I ask you a question? ‐What? Sure. |
27 | 00:01:01,562 | 00:01:03,029 | ‐It's a personal question. ‐Oh. | ‐It's a personal question. ‐Oh. |
28 | 00:01:03,096 | 00:01:04,197 | What is going on with you guys? | What is going on with you guys? |
29 | 00:01:04,264 | 00:01:05,198 | ‐What? ‐You and Heather. | ‐What? ‐You and Heather. |
30 | 00:01:05,265 | 00:01:06,800 | Nothing. Obviously nothing. | Nothing. Obviously nothing. |
31 | 00:01:06,867 | 00:01:09,002 | Uh, well, then why are we taking all these cases | Uh, well, then why are we taking all these cases |
32 | 00:01:09,069 | 00:01:10,370 | down by the lake, huh? | down by the lake, huh? |
33 | 00:01:10,436 | 00:01:12,272 | The Mystery of the Capsized Canoe | The Mystery of the Capsized Canoe |
34 | 00:01:12,338 | 00:01:13,907 | and the Mystery of the Moldy Towels | and the Mystery of the Moldy Towels |
35 | 00:01:13,974 | 00:01:14,975 | and the Mystery of the so‐called | and the Mystery of the so‐called |
36 | 00:01:15,041 | 00:01:16,543 | Sunken Treasure. | Sunken Treasure. |
37 | 00:01:16,610 | 00:01:18,311 | Yeah, uh, a city's waterfront is always a nexus of crime. | Yeah, uh, a city's waterfront is always a nexus of crime. |
38 | 00:01:18,378 | 00:01:19,713 | Come on, man, the last one | Come on, man, the last one |
39 | 00:01:19,780 | 00:01:22,482 | was you snorkeling down to get some kid's quarter | was you snorkeling down to get some kid's quarter |
40 | 00:01:22,549 | 00:01:23,950 | out of the mud‐‐ a quarter. | out of the mud‐‐ a quarter. |
41 | 00:01:24,017 | 00:01:26,252 | Just admit it, that you've been hoping to see her again | Just admit it, that you've been hoping to see her again |
42 | 00:01:26,319 | 00:01:27,588 | because you love her. | because you love her. |
43 | 00:01:27,654 | 00:01:28,889 | David, David, shh! | David, David, shh! |
44 | 00:01:28,955 | 00:01:31,057 | (sighs) Fine. You're right. | (sighs) Fine. You're right. |
45 | 00:01:31,124 | 00:01:32,225 | I have a thing for her. | I have a thing for her. |
46 | 00:01:32,292 | 00:01:33,927 | So tell her, man. She's right there. | So tell her, man. She's right there. |
47 | 00:01:33,994 | 00:01:35,361 | It wouldn't be appropriate. | It wouldn't be appropriate. |
48 | 00:01:35,428 | 00:01:37,230 | I mean, I used to be her employer. | I mean, I used to be her employer. |
49 | 00:01:37,297 | 00:01:38,632 | You were 13 years old back then, you dummy. | You were 13 years old back then, you dummy. |
50 | 00:01:38,699 | 00:01:40,834 | ‐I just think ethically‐‐ ‐(groans) | ‐I just think ethically‐‐ ‐(groans) |
51 | 00:01:40,901 | 00:01:41,902 | Oh, my God. Hey, guys. | Oh, my God. Hey, guys. |
52 | 00:01:41,968 | 00:01:43,269 | John, look who it is. | John, look who it is. |
53 | 00:01:43,336 | 00:01:44,337 | Look, it's Heather Culbreth in the Lunch Hut. | Look, it's Heather Culbreth in the Lunch Hut. |
54 | 00:01:44,404 | 00:01:45,706 | Yes, I can see that. | Yes, I can see that. |
55 | 00:01:45,772 | 00:01:47,307 | You know what, this calls for a celebration. | You know what, this calls for a celebration. |
56 | 00:01:47,373 | 00:01:48,408 | Oh. | Oh. |
57 | 00:01:48,474 | 00:01:50,076 | Shall we feast from my horn of plenty? | Shall we feast from my horn of plenty? |
58 | 00:01:50,143 | 00:01:51,444 | ‐(horn blares) ‐(yells) | ‐(horn blares) ‐(yells) |
59 | 00:01:51,512 | 00:01:53,714 | ‐Why do you have that? ‐Really, David? | ‐Why do you have that? ‐Really, David? |
60 | 00:01:53,780 | 00:01:56,116 | I love to have fun and celebrate my friends. | I love to have fun and celebrate my friends. |
61 | 00:01:56,182 | 00:01:57,383 | ‐Hi, Heather. ‐Hey. | ‐Hi, Heather. ‐Hey. |
62 | 00:01:57,450 | 00:01:59,485 | So the Lunch Hut's still your spot, huh? | So the Lunch Hut's still your spot, huh? |
63 | 00:01:59,553 | 00:02:02,288 | Uh, yeah. So what, uh, brings you here? | Uh, yeah. So what, uh, brings you here? |
64 | 00:02:02,355 | 00:02:05,425 | Advanced security for the commish. | Advanced security for the commish. |
65 | 00:02:05,491 | 00:02:06,527 | ‐(radio squawks) ‐GLEN: Culbreth. | ‐(radio squawks) ‐GLEN: Culbreth. |
66 | 00:02:06,593 | 00:02:08,128 | Are we still clear? Over. | Are we still clear? Over. |
67 | 00:02:08,194 | 00:02:10,731 | Yes, Glen, we're still clear. Over. | Yes, Glen, we're still clear. Over. |
68 | 00:02:10,797 | 00:02:12,498 | Does seem a little intense for the commissioner | Does seem a little intense for the commissioner |
69 | 00:02:12,566 | 00:02:14,034 | of the Water and Sewer Authority. | of the Water and Sewer Authority. |
70 | 00:02:14,100 | 00:02:15,669 | Oh, you think? | Oh, you think? |
71 | 00:02:15,736 | 00:02:18,772 | (militaristic marching music) | (militaristic marching music) |
72 | 00:02:18,839 | 00:02:21,742 | ♪♪ ♪♪ | ♪♪ ♪♪ |
73 | 00:02:21,808 | 00:02:23,744 | Ugh, no. | Ugh, no. |
74 | 00:02:23,810 | 00:02:26,179 | Take me to the President's Physician in New Downtown. | Take me to the President's Physician in New Downtown. |
75 | 00:02:26,246 | 00:02:28,582 | ♪♪ ♪♪ | ♪♪ ♪♪ |
76 | 00:02:28,649 | 00:02:30,250 | (sighs) Welcome to my life. | (sighs) Welcome to my life. |
77 | 00:02:30,316 | 00:02:31,351 | ‐(radio squawks) ‐GLEN: Culbreth. | ‐(radio squawks) ‐GLEN: Culbreth. |
78 | 00:02:31,417 | 00:02:33,754 | We're wheels up for New Downtown. Over. | We're wheels up for New Downtown. Over. |
79 | 00:02:33,820 | 00:02:34,821 | I'm gonna stay here | I'm gonna stay here |
80 | 00:02:34,888 | 00:02:37,223 | and do a post‐op sweep for bugs. Over. | and do a post‐op sweep for bugs. Over. |
81 | 00:02:37,290 | 00:02:38,759 | GLEN: Copy that. Over and out. | GLEN: Copy that. Over and out. |
82 | 00:02:38,825 | 00:02:41,294 | Boom! I just bought myself two hours | Boom! I just bought myself two hours |
83 | 00:02:41,361 | 00:02:43,496 | of fucking‐around time. | of fucking‐around time. |
84 | 00:02:43,564 | 00:02:44,898 | ‐Can I join you? ‐Um‐‐ | ‐Can I join you? ‐Um‐‐ |
85 | 00:02:44,965 | 00:02:46,533 | ‐Totally. ‐Sure. | ‐Totally. ‐Sure. |
86 | 00:02:46,600 | 00:02:48,334 | See, look at this. Isn't this nice? | See, look at this. Isn't this nice? |
87 | 00:02:48,401 | 00:02:50,671 | Three old friends, laughing and loving life | Three old friends, laughing and loving life |
88 | 00:02:50,737 | 00:02:52,005 | as only friends can. | as only friends can. |
89 | 00:02:52,072 | 00:02:53,206 | ‐Okay. ‐Sure, David. | ‐Okay. ‐Sure, David. |
90 | 00:02:53,273 | 00:02:54,440 | They should make a show about friends. | They should make a show about friends. |
91 | 00:02:54,508 | 00:02:56,142 | Hey, Hunch, I saw you snorkeling | Hey, Hunch, I saw you snorkeling |
92 | 00:02:56,209 | 00:02:57,177 | at the lake the other day. | at the lake the other day. |
93 | 00:02:57,243 | 00:02:59,479 | You saw‐‐I‐‐ well, I didn't see you. | You saw‐‐I‐‐ well, I didn't see you. |
94 | 00:02:59,546 | 00:03:01,582 | Well, actually, I only saw your calves | Well, actually, I only saw your calves |
95 | 00:03:01,648 | 00:03:03,416 | flopping above the surface. | flopping above the surface. |
96 | 00:03:03,483 | 00:03:05,418 | They're unmistakable. | They're unmistakable. |
97 | 00:03:05,485 | 00:03:07,420 | Well, I've gotten some compliments. | Well, I've gotten some compliments. |
98 | 00:03:07,487 | 00:03:09,723 | You know what, John? Here comes another compliment | You know what, John? Here comes another compliment |
99 | 00:03:09,790 | 00:03:12,058 | because your calves are delectable, | because your calves are delectable, |
100 | 00:03:12,125 | 00:03:15,395 | and Heather, you are a good judge of sexy legs. | and Heather, you are a good judge of sexy legs. |
101 | 00:03:15,461 | 00:03:16,530 | Thank you, David. That's enough. | Thank you, David. That's enough. |
102 | 00:03:16,597 | 00:03:19,265 | Uh, I was on a case at the time, so yeah. | Uh, I was on a case at the time, so yeah. |
103 | 00:03:19,332 | 00:03:21,334 | Just like we are on a case right now. | Just like we are on a case right now. |
104 | 00:03:21,401 | 00:03:22,335 | ‐All right, David. ‐Wait, really? | ‐All right, David. ‐Wait, really? |
105 | 00:03:22,402 | 00:03:23,403 | Well, all right, let's not get into‐‐ | Well, all right, let's not get into‐‐ |
106 | 00:03:23,469 | 00:03:25,071 | ‐It's a stakeout, Heather. ‐Ugh. | ‐It's a stakeout, Heather. ‐Ugh. |
107 | 00:03:25,138 | 00:03:30,076 | We're staking out Dr. Neckbeard McBeef Jerky Breath over there. | We're staking out Dr. Neckbeard McBeef Jerky Breath over there. |
108 | 00:03:30,143 | 00:03:34,347 | HEATHER: Mm. He is a jerk, and he's from South Carolina. | HEATHER: Mm. He is a jerk, and he's from South Carolina. |
109 | 00:03:34,414 | 00:03:36,883 | Well, obviously. ‐Uh, not‐viously. | Well, obviously. ‐Uh, not‐viously. |
110 | 00:03:36,950 | 00:03:38,051 | What are you talking about? | What are you talking about? |
111 | 00:03:38,118 | 00:03:40,554 | HEATHER: First, he brings his own barbecue sauce | HEATHER: First, he brings his own barbecue sauce |
112 | 00:03:40,621 | 00:03:43,156 | to the Lunch Hut, so he's an asshole. | to the Lunch Hut, so he's an asshole. |
113 | 00:03:43,223 | 00:03:45,491 | Two, it's mustard‐based. | Two, it's mustard‐based. |
114 | 00:03:45,559 | 00:03:47,260 | That's some South Carolina shit. | That's some South Carolina shit. |
115 | 00:03:47,327 | 00:03:48,494 | Damn, you're smart. | Damn, you're smart. |
116 | 00:03:48,562 | 00:03:49,796 | So what's the case? | So what's the case? |
117 | 00:03:49,863 | 00:03:51,097 | Oh, well, my client‐‐ | Oh, well, my client‐‐ |
118 | 00:03:51,164 | 00:03:52,799 | Our client. Let's remember. | Our client. Let's remember. |
119 | 00:03:52,866 | 00:03:53,900 | It's our client. | It's our client. |
120 | 00:03:53,967 | 00:03:57,871 | The client has a collection of, um, vintage cars. | The client has a collection of, um, vintage cars. |
121 | 00:03:57,938 | 00:03:59,239 | Ooh, fancy client. | Ooh, fancy client. |
122 | 00:03:59,305 | 00:04:00,473 | ‐Uh‐‐ ‐Congratulations. | ‐Uh‐‐ ‐Congratulations. |
123 | 00:04:00,541 | 00:04:02,008 | Not really. The client is actually‐‐ | Not really. The client is actually‐‐ |
124 | 00:04:02,075 | 00:04:03,544 | It's confidential, David. That's‐‐ | It's confidential, David. That's‐‐ |
125 | 00:04:03,610 | 00:04:05,278 | ‐Oh, really? ‐Identity's confidential, yes. | ‐Oh, really? ‐Identity's confidential, yes. |
126 | 00:04:05,345 | 00:04:07,447 | Anyway, the prize of our client's collection | Anyway, the prize of our client's collection |
127 | 00:04:07,514 | 00:04:09,683 | is a 1968 Dodge Custom Charger. | is a 1968 Dodge Custom Charger. |
128 | 00:04:09,750 | 00:04:13,587 | Wait, '68 Custom‐‐it better not be the General Lee. | Wait, '68 Custom‐‐it better not be the General Lee. |
129 | 00:04:13,654 | 00:04:16,089 | No, no, no, no. This is a hot pink car. | No, no, no, no. This is a hot pink car. |
130 | 00:04:16,156 | 00:04:17,290 | Oh, that's actually quite rare. | Oh, that's actually quite rare. |
131 | 00:04:17,357 | 00:04:18,559 | Exactly. | Exactly. |
132 | 00:04:18,625 | 00:04:20,861 | The man in the corner is Ronald Pronk, | The man in the corner is Ronald Pronk, |
133 | 00:04:20,927 | 00:04:23,196 | a car collector passing through town. | a car collector passing through town. |
134 | 00:04:23,263 | 00:04:24,831 | When he saw my client's Charger, | When he saw my client's Charger, |
135 | 00:04:24,898 | 00:04:26,700 | he noted a crack in the windshield, | he noted a crack in the windshield, |
136 | 00:04:26,767 | 00:04:28,401 | and offered to restore it at his shop | and offered to restore it at his shop |
137 | 00:04:28,468 | 00:04:30,370 | in Charleston, for free. | in Charleston, for free. |
138 | 00:04:30,436 | 00:04:31,872 | That doesn't sound shady at all. | That doesn't sound shady at all. |
139 | 00:04:31,938 | 00:04:34,374 | Yeah, well, my client is somewhat naive. | Yeah, well, my client is somewhat naive. |
140 | 00:04:34,440 | 00:04:36,209 | You might say he requires some schooling. | You might say he requires some schooling. |
141 | 00:04:36,276 | 00:04:37,310 | ‐Okay, David. ‐You could say that. | ‐Okay, David. ‐You could say that. |
142 | 00:04:37,377 | 00:04:39,345 | Like additional grades of schooling‐‐ | Like additional grades of schooling‐‐ |
143 | 00:04:39,412 | 00:04:41,214 | ‐All right, David, enough. ‐Are required. | ‐All right, David, enough. ‐Are required. |
144 | 00:04:41,281 | 00:04:42,849 | So Pronk took possession of the car, | So Pronk took possession of the car, |
145 | 00:04:42,916 | 00:04:45,251 | and then let me guess, claimed someone stole it. | and then let me guess, claimed someone stole it. |
146 | 00:04:45,318 | 00:04:46,987 | Sound familiar? | Sound familiar? |
147 | 00:04:47,053 | 00:04:49,189 | Amber Pulman's Pog collection, seventh grade. | Amber Pulman's Pog collection, seventh grade. |
148 | 00:04:49,255 | 00:04:51,491 | (laughs) Oh, yeah! | (laughs) Oh, yeah! |
149 | 00:04:51,558 | 00:04:54,795 | I borrowed Amber's Pogs! | I borrowed Amber's Pogs! |
150 | 00:04:54,861 | 00:04:57,564 | And then I sold them to Bucky Rindfuss. | And then I sold them to Bucky Rindfuss. |
151 | 00:04:57,631 | 00:05:01,467 | And when Amber confronted me, I said they were stolen‐‐ | And when Amber confronted me, I said they were stolen‐‐ |
152 | 00:05:01,535 | 00:05:03,770 | ‐BOTH: By a werewolf. ‐By a werewolf. | ‐BOTH: By a werewolf. ‐By a werewolf. |
153 | 00:05:03,837 | 00:05:05,572 | ‐JOHN: Right. ‐"The perfect crime." | ‐JOHN: Right. ‐"The perfect crime." |
154 | 00:05:05,639 | 00:05:07,574 | And it was, because it turns out | And it was, because it turns out |
155 | 00:05:07,641 | 00:05:10,276 | Amber was totally into werewolves, | Amber was totally into werewolves, |
156 | 00:05:10,343 | 00:05:12,078 | and they turned her on. | and they turned her on. |
157 | 00:05:12,145 | 00:05:14,548 | So we went to Umstead Park on a werewolf hunt, | So we went to Umstead Park on a werewolf hunt, |
158 | 00:05:14,615 | 00:05:16,917 | and we wound up making out by the light of a full moon. | and we wound up making out by the light of a full moon. |
159 | 00:05:16,983 | 00:05:18,619 | ‐(howls) ‐(clears throat) | ‐(howls) ‐(clears throat) |
160 | 00:05:18,685 | 00:05:20,654 | But then she dumped me for Trip Kowalski | But then she dumped me for Trip Kowalski |
161 | 00:05:20,721 | 00:05:22,889 | 'cause he had a full beard in seventh grade, | 'cause he had a full beard in seventh grade, |
162 | 00:05:22,956 | 00:05:24,791 | and I was so pissed off, | and I was so pissed off, |
163 | 00:05:24,858 | 00:05:26,527 | I think that's why I beat both of you up | I think that's why I beat both of you up |
164 | 00:05:26,593 | 00:05:28,795 | in Spanish class that one time. | in Spanish class that one time. |
165 | 00:05:28,862 | 00:05:31,097 | (exhales) Friendship, nothing beats it. | (exhales) Friendship, nothing beats it. |
166 | 00:05:31,164 | 00:05:32,566 | Seventh grade was fun, right? | Seventh grade was fun, right? |
167 | 00:05:32,633 | 00:05:33,567 | BOTH: No, it wasn't. | BOTH: No, it wasn't. |
168 | 00:05:33,634 | 00:05:34,768 | ‐Yes, it was. ‐No. | ‐Yes, it was. ‐No. |
169 | 00:05:34,835 | 00:05:36,036 | ‐I don't get it. ‐Yes, it was. | ‐I don't get it. ‐Yes, it was. |
170 | 00:05:36,102 | 00:05:37,871 | HEATHER: A stolen Charger isn't easy to hide. | HEATHER: A stolen Charger isn't easy to hide. |
171 | 00:05:37,938 | 00:05:39,305 | Why is he still in town? | Why is he still in town? |
172 | 00:05:39,372 | 00:05:40,507 | Pronk's arrogant. | Pronk's arrogant. |
173 | 00:05:40,574 | 00:05:41,908 | He even offered to call the police himself, | He even offered to call the police himself, |
174 | 00:05:41,975 | 00:05:44,545 | but my client wants to keep things quiet | but my client wants to keep things quiet |
175 | 00:05:44,611 | 00:05:46,747 | till I can prove that Pronk's story is bogus. | till I can prove that Pronk's story is bogus. |
176 | 00:05:46,813 | 00:05:50,016 | Got it. So what's his story? | Got it. So what's his story? |
177 | 00:05:50,083 | 00:05:52,285 | JOHN: Pronk says he brought the Charger | JOHN: Pronk says he brought the Charger |
178 | 00:05:52,352 | 00:05:53,820 | back to his motel parking lot. | back to his motel parking lot. |
179 | 00:05:53,887 | 00:05:56,356 | That's where he kept his own car, a Ford Focus. | That's where he kept his own car, a Ford Focus. |
180 | 00:05:56,422 | 00:05:57,991 | Otherwise, the lot was empty. | Otherwise, the lot was empty. |
181 | 00:05:58,058 | 00:05:59,025 | No witnesses. | No witnesses. |
182 | 00:05:59,092 | 00:06:01,528 | ‐When was this? ‐5:20 p. m. yesterday. | ‐When was this? ‐5:20 p. m. yesterday. |
183 | 00:06:01,595 | 00:06:03,564 | Pronk was making his way to the lobby | Pronk was making his way to the lobby |
184 | 00:06:03,630 | 00:06:05,298 | when an unknown robber supposedly jumped out | when an unknown robber supposedly jumped out |
185 | 00:06:05,365 | 00:06:06,867 | from behind a bush. | from behind a bush. |
186 | 00:06:06,933 | 00:06:08,502 | Pronk says the guy pulled a gun, | Pronk says the guy pulled a gun, |
187 | 00:06:08,569 | 00:06:09,936 | grabbed the Charger, and took off. | grabbed the Charger, and took off. |
188 | 00:06:10,003 | 00:06:12,539 | DAVID: And then a giant serpent appeared. | DAVID: And then a giant serpent appeared. |
189 | 00:06:12,606 | 00:06:14,608 | ‐JOHN: David, come on. ‐DAVID: And writhed around. | ‐JOHN: David, come on. ‐DAVID: And writhed around. |
190 | 00:06:14,675 | 00:06:16,109 | Did Pronk describe the carjacker? | Did Pronk describe the carjacker? |
191 | 00:06:16,176 | 00:06:17,744 | Well, he... | Well, he... |
192 | 00:06:17,811 | 00:06:19,613 | Right. Big surprise. | Right. Big surprise. |
193 | 00:06:19,680 | 00:06:21,081 | What, he was wearing a little silver hat? | What, he was wearing a little silver hat? |
194 | 00:06:21,147 | 00:06:22,015 | JOHN: Ugh. David. | JOHN: Ugh. David. |
195 | 00:06:22,082 | 00:06:25,719 | Tell me about lighting conditions. | Tell me about lighting conditions. |
196 | 00:06:25,786 | 00:06:27,788 | JOHN: Pronk says he couldn't see which way the robber went | JOHN: Pronk says he couldn't see which way the robber went |
197 | 00:06:27,854 | 00:06:29,856 | because he was blinded by the evening sun | because he was blinded by the evening sun |
198 | 00:06:29,923 | 00:06:31,558 | focused through the motel's glass bricks. | focused through the motel's glass bricks. |
199 | 00:06:31,625 | 00:06:34,027 | At 5:20 p. m.? This angle isn't right. | At 5:20 p. m.? This angle isn't right. |
200 | 00:06:34,094 | 00:06:36,129 | David, could you, uh, could you take a step back, please? | David, could you, uh, could you take a step back, please? |
201 | 00:06:36,196 | 00:06:38,231 | ‐Ah, like this? ‐No, further, please. | ‐Ah, like this? ‐No, further, please. |
202 | 00:06:38,298 | 00:06:40,166 | ‐Really? ‐Yeah. Go further away. | ‐Really? ‐Yeah. Go further away. |
203 | 00:06:40,233 | 00:06:41,635 | DAVID: All right. | DAVID: All right. |
204 | 00:06:41,702 | 00:06:43,837 | JOHN: There it is, precisely. | JOHN: There it is, precisely. |
205 | 00:06:43,904 | 00:06:45,572 | DAVID: Um, I can't reach my disco fries now | DAVID: Um, I can't reach my disco fries now |
206 | 00:06:45,639 | 00:06:46,773 | because of this distance. | because of this distance. |
207 | 00:06:46,840 | 00:06:48,609 | Okay, the light tracks, | Okay, the light tracks, |
208 | 00:06:48,675 | 00:06:50,410 | but how do we know Pronk's telling the truth | but how do we know Pronk's telling the truth |
209 | 00:06:50,476 | 00:06:52,478 | about being in the lot at 5:20 p. m.? | about being in the lot at 5:20 p. m.? |
210 | 00:06:52,546 | 00:06:54,480 | Ah, because, according to the Richardsville | Ah, because, according to the Richardsville |
211 | 00:06:54,548 | 00:06:55,649 | Birding Society, | Birding Society, |
212 | 00:06:55,716 | 00:06:57,083 | that's when a large flock of starlings | that's when a large flock of starlings |
213 | 00:06:57,150 | 00:06:59,252 | was spotted flying directly over the motel. | was spotted flying directly over the motel. |
214 | 00:06:59,319 | 00:07:00,954 | They defecated everywhere. | They defecated everywhere. |
215 | 00:07:03,289 | 00:07:04,558 | Oh, shit. My phone. | Oh, shit. My phone. |
216 | 00:07:04,625 | 00:07:06,359 | And I can't reach my disco fries. | And I can't reach my disco fries. |
217 | 00:07:06,426 | 00:07:07,994 | Does Pronk's car have bird crap on it? | Does Pronk's car have bird crap on it? |
218 | 00:07:08,061 | 00:07:09,930 | Yes, it does. His Ford Focus is outside. | Yes, it does. His Ford Focus is outside. |
219 | 00:07:09,996 | 00:07:11,297 | ‐You can see for yourself. ‐HEATHER: Hmm. | ‐You can see for yourself. ‐HEATHER: Hmm. |
220 | 00:07:11,364 | 00:07:12,766 | And the splatter pattern is consistent | And the splatter pattern is consistent |
221 | 00:07:12,833 | 00:07:13,967 | with an overhead bombing, | with an overhead bombing, |
222 | 00:07:14,034 | 00:07:15,802 | just like every space in motel parking lot. | just like every space in motel parking lot. |
223 | 00:07:15,869 | 00:07:17,971 | ‐I checked myself. ‐Okay, okay. | ‐I checked myself. ‐Okay, okay. |
224 | 00:07:18,038 | 00:07:19,640 | ‐We'll get there. ‐DAVID: Alert! | ‐We'll get there. ‐DAVID: Alert! |
225 | 00:07:19,706 | 00:07:22,475 | Access to disco fries has been compromised. | Access to disco fries has been compromised. |
226 | 00:07:22,543 | 00:07:24,611 | Abort mission. | Abort mission. |
227 | 00:07:24,678 | 00:07:27,413 | As you can see, he has matured a lot. | As you can see, he has matured a lot. |
228 | 00:07:27,480 | 00:07:29,015 | Be honest... how many times | Be honest... how many times |
229 | 00:07:29,082 | 00:07:31,017 | have you stolen fries in your shorts, | have you stolen fries in your shorts, |
230 | 00:07:31,084 | 00:07:32,853 | or are you suddenly mad that you never thought of it? | or are you suddenly mad that you never thought of it? |
231 | 00:07:32,919 | 00:07:35,622 | ‐Oh, zing! ‐Okay, this dynamic sucks. | ‐Oh, zing! ‐Okay, this dynamic sucks. |
232 | 00:07:35,689 | 00:07:38,024 | Hey, David, instead of living with your parents, | Hey, David, instead of living with your parents, |
233 | 00:07:38,091 | 00:07:39,993 | why don't you just sleep in one of your shorts pockets? | why don't you just sleep in one of your shorts pockets? |
234 | 00:07:40,060 | 00:07:41,261 | (both laughing) | (both laughing) |
235 | 00:07:41,327 | 00:07:42,729 | You know what, John? | You know what, John? |
236 | 00:07:42,796 | 00:07:44,164 | ‐You know what, buddy? ‐What? | ‐You know what, buddy? ‐What? |
237 | 00:07:44,230 | 00:07:45,699 | Maybe Heather would be interested to know | Maybe Heather would be interested to know |
238 | 00:07:45,766 | 00:07:47,834 | some more facts about our client. | some more facts about our client. |
239 | 00:07:47,901 | 00:07:48,869 | ‐David, no. ‐Huh? | ‐David, no. ‐Huh? |
240 | 00:07:48,935 | 00:07:50,036 | ‐What facts? ‐You think? | ‐What facts? ‐You think? |
241 | 00:07:50,103 | 00:07:52,038 | David, please. | David, please. |
242 | 00:07:54,174 | 00:07:57,143 | Heather, there is something I could tell you right now, | Heather, there is something I could tell you right now, |
243 | 00:07:57,210 | 00:07:58,812 | but because I have matured | but because I have matured |
244 | 00:07:58,879 | 00:08:01,114 | and I actually am a very good friend, | and I actually am a very good friend, |
245 | 00:08:01,181 | 00:08:03,249 | I'm not going to. | I'm not going to. |
246 | 00:08:03,316 | 00:08:04,518 | (horn blares) | (horn blares) |
247 | 00:08:04,585 | 00:08:05,752 | (customers groan) | (customers groan) |
248 | 00:08:05,819 | 00:08:07,688 | CUSTOMER: Stop doing that! | CUSTOMER: Stop doing that! |
249 | 00:08:07,754 | 00:08:09,422 | What was that about? | What was that about? |
250 | 00:08:09,489 | 00:08:11,357 | Uh, who knows with that guy, right? | Uh, who knows with that guy, right? |
251 | 00:08:11,424 | 00:08:12,593 | Oh, wait, damnit. He's my ride. | Oh, wait, damnit. He's my ride. |
252 | 00:08:12,659 | 00:08:14,460 | Don't worry. I have my work truck. | Don't worry. I have my work truck. |
253 | 00:08:14,528 | 00:08:16,597 | ‐Oh. ‐Wait a sec, look. | ‐Oh. ‐Wait a sec, look. |
254 | 00:08:16,663 | 00:08:17,631 | Don't you see it? | Don't you see it? |
255 | 00:08:17,698 | 00:08:18,865 | Wait, what? See what? | Wait, what? See what? |
256 | 00:08:18,932 | 00:08:20,734 | The motel parking lot was empty? | The motel parking lot was empty? |
257 | 00:08:20,801 | 00:08:23,504 | Yeah, right, except for Pronk's Ford Focus. | Yeah, right, except for Pronk's Ford Focus. |
258 | 00:08:23,570 | 00:08:24,871 | And the starlings defecated | And the starlings defecated |
259 | 00:08:24,938 | 00:08:27,708 | all over the lot in every space? | all over the lot in every space? |
260 | 00:08:27,774 | 00:08:28,942 | Yeah, every single space. | Yeah, every single space. |
261 | 00:08:29,009 | 00:08:30,611 | Looked like a bird poop Jackson Pollock. | Looked like a bird poop Jackson Pollock. |
262 | 00:08:30,677 | 00:08:32,713 | Okay, think about the guano in the spaces | Okay, think about the guano in the spaces |
263 | 00:08:32,779 | 00:08:34,515 | and the guano on the Focus. | and the guano on the Focus. |
264 | 00:08:34,581 | 00:08:36,316 | Wait, the guano on the Focus. | Wait, the guano on the Focus. |
265 | 00:08:36,382 | 00:08:38,251 | Focus, Hunch. | Focus, Hunch. |
266 | 00:08:38,318 | 00:08:40,687 | There was guano on the Focus, | There was guano on the Focus, |
267 | 00:08:40,754 | 00:08:42,488 | and in every space in the lot. | and in every space in the lot. |
268 | 00:08:42,556 | 00:08:44,525 | ‐HEATHER: Mm‐hmm. ‐JOHN: Pronk's Ford Focus | ‐HEATHER: Mm‐hmm. ‐JOHN: Pronk's Ford Focus |
269 | 00:08:44,591 | 00:08:46,026 | couldn't have been there at 5:20 p. m. | couldn't have been there at 5:20 p. m. |
270 | 00:08:46,092 | 00:08:47,160 | HEATHER: Yeah. | HEATHER: Yeah. |
271 | 00:08:47,227 | 00:08:49,095 | JOHN: It would've acted as a guano shield. | JOHN: It would've acted as a guano shield. |
272 | 00:08:49,162 | 00:08:52,132 | We can't prove that birds didn't shit on Pronk's car. | We can't prove that birds didn't shit on Pronk's car. |
273 | 00:08:52,198 | 00:08:54,535 | But we can prove it didn't happen at 5:20 | But we can prove it didn't happen at 5:20 |
274 | 00:08:54,601 | 00:08:56,169 | in the motel parking lot, which means... | in the motel parking lot, which means... |
275 | 00:08:56,236 | 00:08:59,472 | BOTH: He's lying! | BOTH: He's lying! |
276 | 00:08:59,540 | 00:09:00,507 | (exhales) | (exhales) |
277 | 00:09:00,574 | 00:09:02,375 | That was amazing. | That was amazing. |
278 | 00:09:02,442 | 00:09:04,778 | Totally. (exhales) | Totally. (exhales) |
279 | 00:09:04,845 | 00:09:05,946 | Look at him gloat. | Look at him gloat. |
280 | 00:09:06,012 | 00:09:07,714 | He doesn't even know we've got him. | He doesn't even know we've got him. |
281 | 00:09:07,781 | 00:09:09,349 | It's good to see you at work again. | It's good to see you at work again. |
282 | 00:09:09,415 | 00:09:11,217 | Oh, thanks, yeah. | Oh, thanks, yeah. |
283 | 00:09:11,284 | 00:09:12,819 | Uh, you know, Heather, | Uh, you know, Heather, |
284 | 00:09:12,886 | 00:09:14,487 | I've spent the last, uh, few weeks‐‐ | I've spent the last, uh, few weeks‐‐ |
285 | 00:09:14,555 | 00:09:17,658 | Lurking around me at the lake but avoiding all eye contact? | Lurking around me at the lake but avoiding all eye contact? |
286 | 00:09:17,724 | 00:09:18,859 | I hadn't noticed. | I hadn't noticed. |
287 | 00:09:18,925 | 00:09:21,194 | Sorry. It's just, um... | Sorry. It's just, um... |
288 | 00:09:21,261 | 00:09:22,896 | I'm‐‐I was embarrassed. | I'm‐‐I was embarrassed. |
289 | 00:09:22,963 | 00:09:24,197 | Why? | Why? |
290 | 00:09:24,264 | 00:09:25,832 | Well, you got out. | Well, you got out. |
291 | 00:09:25,899 | 00:09:27,367 | You went out into the world, | You went out into the world, |
292 | 00:09:27,433 | 00:09:28,902 | and I didn't. | and I didn't. |
293 | 00:09:28,969 | 00:09:30,170 | Hunch... | Hunch... |
294 | 00:09:30,236 | 00:09:32,573 | I thought Dicktown was enough, you know? | I thought Dicktown was enough, you know? |
295 | 00:09:32,639 | 00:09:35,008 | But then I realized it's barely anything. | But then I realized it's barely anything. |
296 | 00:09:35,075 | 00:09:37,878 | No, Hunch. Take it from me. | No, Hunch. Take it from me. |
297 | 00:09:37,944 | 00:09:40,446 | The world is just different Dicktowns | The world is just different Dicktowns |
298 | 00:09:40,514 | 00:09:42,448 | full of different dicks. | full of different dicks. |
299 | 00:09:42,516 | 00:09:44,618 | Besides, how bad can this town be? | Besides, how bad can this town be? |
300 | 00:09:44,685 | 00:09:47,320 | ‐I came back. ‐Yeah. No, you did. | ‐I came back. ‐Yeah. No, you did. |
301 | 00:09:47,387 | 00:09:50,456 | Uh, okay, Heather, uh... | Uh, okay, Heather, uh... |
302 | 00:09:50,524 | 00:09:52,926 | I'm sort of in love with you. | I'm sort of in love with you. |
303 | 00:09:52,993 | 00:09:55,361 | Never detected that? (laughs) | Never detected that? (laughs) |
304 | 00:09:55,428 | 00:09:56,396 | Detected that. | Detected that. |
305 | 00:09:56,462 | 00:09:57,430 | Target's on the move. | Target's on the move. |
306 | 00:09:57,497 | 00:09:58,632 | JOHN: What? Oh. | JOHN: What? Oh. |
307 | 00:09:58,699 | 00:10:00,166 | Should we confront him together, | Should we confront him together, |
308 | 00:10:00,233 | 00:10:01,635 | like in the old days? | like in the old days? |
309 | 00:10:01,702 | 00:10:04,037 | Um, why don't you go? | Um, why don't you go? |
310 | 00:10:04,104 | 00:10:06,206 | I'll sit here and back you up. | I'll sit here and back you up. |
311 | 00:10:06,272 | 00:10:08,008 | Copy that. | Copy that. |
312 | 00:10:08,074 | 00:10:11,411 | But wait a minute, a 1968 Dodge Charger | But wait a minute, a 1968 Dodge Charger |
313 | 00:10:11,477 | 00:10:12,646 | in hot pink? | in hot pink? |
314 | 00:10:12,713 | 00:10:13,947 | RONALD: Hey, get away from me, brigand. | RONALD: Hey, get away from me, brigand. |
315 | 00:10:14,014 | 00:10:17,584 | Dodge didn't make a pink Charger till 1970. | Dodge didn't make a pink Charger till 1970. |
316 | 00:10:17,651 | 00:10:19,085 | How do you steal a pink Charger | How do you steal a pink Charger |
317 | 00:10:19,152 | 00:10:21,021 | that doesn't even exist unless‐‐ | that doesn't even exist unless‐‐ |
318 | 00:10:21,087 | 00:10:21,988 | (gasps) | (gasps) |
319 | 00:10:22,055 | 00:10:25,325 | Help! David, where are you? | Help! David, where are you? |
320 | 00:10:25,391 | 00:10:28,328 | (grunting) | (grunting) |
321 | 00:10:28,394 | 00:10:31,031 | Oh, wow, you found my car. | Oh, wow, you found my car. |
322 | 00:10:31,097 | 00:10:33,767 | It's about time, you old weirdo. | It's about time, you old weirdo. |
323 | 00:10:33,834 | 00:10:36,469 | Peace out. I'll cass‐ap you. | Peace out. I'll cass‐ap you. |
324 | 00:10:36,537 | 00:10:39,840 | HEATHER: (exhales) 1968 hot pink Charger, | HEATHER: (exhales) 1968 hot pink Charger, |
325 | 00:10:39,906 | 00:10:41,642 | one of the rarest Hot Wheels on the market. | one of the rarest Hot Wheels on the market. |
326 | 00:10:41,708 | 00:10:43,043 | Yeah, it's very valuable. | Yeah, it's very valuable. |
327 | 00:10:43,109 | 00:10:44,645 | That's why Pronk tried to steal it. | That's why Pronk tried to steal it. |
328 | 00:10:44,711 | 00:10:46,813 | The point is that it's a toy, Hunch. | The point is that it's a toy, Hunch. |
329 | 00:10:46,880 | 00:10:48,481 | You're still working for children. | You're still working for children. |
330 | 00:10:48,549 | 00:10:49,816 | Well, mostly teenagers, | Well, mostly teenagers, |
331 | 00:10:49,883 | 00:10:51,885 | and they are extremely mature. I mean‐‐ | and they are extremely mature. I mean‐‐ |
332 | 00:10:51,952 | 00:10:53,854 | How have you not been arrested yet? | How have you not been arrested yet? |
333 | 00:10:53,920 | 00:10:55,388 | (sighs) Honestly, I'm not sure. | (sighs) Honestly, I'm not sure. |
334 | 00:10:55,455 | 00:10:57,524 | That's what you should be embarrassed about, Hunch, | That's what you should be embarrassed about, Hunch, |
335 | 00:10:57,591 | 00:10:59,459 | not that you haven't left home, | not that you haven't left home, |
336 | 00:10:59,526 | 00:11:00,861 | that you haven't grown up. | that you haven't grown up. |
337 | 00:11:00,927 | 00:11:03,897 | Well, now that's not true, I have business cards. | Well, now that's not true, I have business cards. |
338 | 00:11:03,964 | 00:11:07,333 | ‐I have to go. ‐Wait! Heather. | ‐I have to go. ‐Wait! Heather. |
339 | 00:11:07,400 | 00:11:09,335 | Can I still get a ride? | Can I still get a ride? |
340 | 00:11:09,402 | 00:11:12,305 | (bittersweet music) | (bittersweet music) |
341 | 00:11:12,372 | 00:11:19,179 | ♪♪ ♪♪ | ♪♪ ♪♪ |