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1 | 00:00:06,940 | 00:00:08,709 | DAVID: Meg, for the last time, | DAVID: Meg, for the last time, |
2 | 00:00:08,775 | 00:00:10,944 | if you don't think Led Zeppelin | if you don't think Led Zeppelin |
3 | 00:00:11,011 | 00:00:12,846 | is the greatest rock band of all time, | is the greatest rock band of all time, |
4 | 00:00:12,913 | 00:00:14,615 | then on some fundamental level, | then on some fundamental level, |
5 | 00:00:14,681 | 00:00:18,318 | you don't understand what rock music even is. | you don't understand what rock music even is. |
6 | 00:00:18,384 | 00:00:20,386 | I'm fine with that. Rock music is for dads. | I'm fine with that. Rock music is for dads. |
7 | 00:00:20,453 | 00:00:21,454 | DAVID: It's one of the best musical genres | DAVID: It's one of the best musical genres |
8 | 00:00:21,522 | 00:00:22,889 | ‐of all time. ‐JOHN: Uh, nope. | ‐of all time. ‐JOHN: Uh, nope. |
9 | 00:00:22,956 | 00:00:25,526 | That's why they call it rock music‐‐because it rocks. | That's why they call it rock music‐‐because it rocks. |
10 | 00:00:25,592 | 00:00:27,427 | Whatever, genres are for dads. | Whatever, genres are for dads. |
11 | 00:00:27,493 | 00:00:29,162 | This is breaking my heart, 'cause I'm a smart guy, | This is breaking my heart, 'cause I'm a smart guy, |
12 | 00:00:29,229 | 00:00:30,697 | and you should take my opinions seriously. | and you should take my opinions seriously. |
13 | 00:00:30,764 | 00:00:31,732 | (hip‐hop music) | (hip‐hop music) |
14 | 00:00:31,798 | 00:00:33,233 | Sorry, can't hear you! | Sorry, can't hear you! |
15 | 00:00:33,299 | 00:00:35,435 | (indistinct singing) | (indistinct singing) |
16 | 00:00:35,502 | 00:00:37,303 | What the fuck is this music right now, | What the fuck is this music right now, |
17 | 00:00:37,370 | 00:00:39,506 | ‐this mumbling shit? ‐ It's Lil Blurp's new mixtape. | ‐this mumbling shit? ‐ It's Lil Blurp's new mixtape. |
18 | 00:00:39,573 | 00:00:42,876 | Ugh, you know, this sounds like an upset stomach | Ugh, you know, this sounds like an upset stomach |
19 | 00:00:42,943 | 00:00:45,712 | somehow fucking a headache, | somehow fucking a headache, |
20 | 00:00:45,779 | 00:00:48,014 | and I don't like how it makes me feel. | and I don't like how it makes me feel. |
21 | 00:00:48,081 | 00:00:49,916 | So? Feelings are for dads. | So? Feelings are for dads. |
22 | 00:00:49,983 | 00:00:52,418 | Oh, my God, will you shut up for one second about dads? | Oh, my God, will you shut up for one second about dads? |
23 | 00:00:52,485 | 00:00:53,587 | ‐(phone rings) ‐JOHN: No, thanks. | ‐(phone rings) ‐JOHN: No, thanks. |
24 | 00:00:53,654 | 00:00:55,956 | ‐Is that your dad? ‐Uh, no comment. | ‐Is that your dad? ‐Uh, no comment. |
25 | 00:00:56,022 | 00:00:57,323 | Ooh, Meg, is this a first pressing | Ooh, Meg, is this a first pressing |
26 | 00:00:57,390 | 00:00:58,625 | of Swordfish Trombones? | of Swordfish Trombones? |
27 | 00:00:58,692 | 00:00:59,893 | John, you should put down that dumb record | John, you should put down that dumb record |
28 | 00:00:59,960 | 00:01:00,861 | and call your dad. | and call your dad. |
29 | 00:01:00,927 | 00:01:02,395 | It's Sunday, man. | It's Sunday, man. |
30 | 00:01:02,462 | 00:01:05,832 | Yes, and I deserve one Sunday where I'm not held hostage | Yes, and I deserve one Sunday where I'm not held hostage |
31 | 00:01:05,899 | 00:01:07,601 | to my dad's go‐nowhere stories. | to my dad's go‐nowhere stories. |
32 | 00:01:07,668 | 00:01:09,269 | Ooh, what's wrong with his dad? | Ooh, what's wrong with his dad? |
33 | 00:01:09,335 | 00:01:10,637 | There's nothing with his dad! | There's nothing with his dad! |
34 | 00:01:10,704 | 00:01:12,205 | Mr. Hunchman is the greatest guy who ever lived. | Mr. Hunchman is the greatest guy who ever lived. |
35 | 00:01:12,272 | 00:01:13,507 | He's always like, "Oh, son, do I have | He's always like, "Oh, son, do I have |
36 | 00:01:13,574 | 00:01:14,975 | "an interesting story to share with you. | "an interesting story to share with you. |
37 | 00:01:15,041 | 00:01:16,510 | "Today I bought a beige washcloth | "Today I bought a beige washcloth |
38 | 00:01:16,577 | 00:01:18,945 | and I used my Visa card to purchase it." | and I used my Visa card to purchase it." |
39 | 00:01:19,012 | 00:01:21,782 | Ugh, I find that impression to be unnervingly accurate. | Ugh, I find that impression to be unnervingly accurate. |
40 | 00:01:21,848 | 00:01:23,149 | You should talk to your dad. | You should talk to your dad. |
41 | 00:01:23,216 | 00:01:25,185 | All dads are sad. | All dads are sad. |
42 | 00:01:25,251 | 00:01:28,088 | Ah, see? The dad expert hath spoken. | Ah, see? The dad expert hath spoken. |
43 | 00:01:28,154 | 00:01:30,156 | ‐Uhh... ‐Heed her words of wisdom. | ‐Uhh... ‐Heed her words of wisdom. |
44 | 00:01:30,223 | 00:01:32,325 | Fine, I'll talk to my dad. | Fine, I'll talk to my dad. |
45 | 00:01:32,392 | 00:01:33,994 | ‐(sighs) ‐(phone beeps) | ‐(sighs) ‐(phone beeps) |
46 | 00:01:34,060 | 00:01:35,395 | ‐Hey, Dad. ‐HUNCHMAN: Hey, bud. | ‐Hey, Dad. ‐HUNCHMAN: Hey, bud. |
47 | 00:01:35,461 | 00:01:38,098 | I was worried you lost your phone again. | I was worried you lost your phone again. |
48 | 00:01:38,164 | 00:01:40,601 | Uh‐huh, let's hear your interesting news. | Uh‐huh, let's hear your interesting news. |
49 | 00:01:40,667 | 00:01:42,636 | So you remember how I told you last month | So you remember how I told you last month |
50 | 00:01:42,703 | 00:01:45,105 | I was thinking about driving out to Pittsboro | I was thinking about driving out to Pittsboro |
51 | 00:01:45,171 | 00:01:47,473 | to check out Dan Henry's new office? | to check out Dan Henry's new office? |
52 | 00:01:47,541 | 00:01:48,609 | Yes? | Yes? |
53 | 00:01:48,675 | 00:01:50,243 | HUNCHMAN: I went to see Dan, | HUNCHMAN: I went to see Dan, |
54 | 00:01:50,310 | 00:01:51,612 | who you remember started working for me | who you remember started working for me |
55 | 00:01:51,678 | 00:01:53,747 | back when he was 24 and now, as you know‐‐ | back when he was 24 and now, as you know‐‐ |
56 | 00:01:53,814 | 00:01:56,149 | He's got your old job. | He's got your old job. |
57 | 00:01:56,216 | 00:01:58,318 | Yes, sir. He got my old job, | Yes, sir. He got my old job, |
58 | 00:01:58,384 | 00:01:59,786 | but not my old office! | but not my old office! |
59 | 00:01:59,853 | 00:02:02,823 | John, his new office is something else. | John, his new office is something else. |
60 | 00:02:02,889 | 00:02:05,859 | They got a whiteboard in the conference room | They got a whiteboard in the conference room |
61 | 00:02:05,926 | 00:02:07,493 | that isn't even a whiteboard! | that isn't even a whiteboard! |
62 | 00:02:07,561 | 00:02:09,830 | It's just a piece of glass, | It's just a piece of glass, |
63 | 00:02:09,896 | 00:02:12,533 | and, son, it's networked. | and, son, it's networked. |
64 | 00:02:12,599 | 00:02:14,668 | ‐Okay, and? ‐So if you write on it | ‐Okay, and? ‐So if you write on it |
65 | 00:02:14,735 | 00:02:17,470 | in Pittsboro, they could see it at the same time | in Pittsboro, they could see it at the same time |
66 | 00:02:17,538 | 00:02:18,972 | at the main branch in Charlotte! | at the main branch in Charlotte! |
67 | 00:02:19,039 | 00:02:21,374 | I mean, wowie McGowie! | I mean, wowie McGowie! |
68 | 00:02:21,441 | 00:02:22,776 | Okay. | Okay. |
69 | 00:02:22,843 | 00:02:25,178 | But there was something else I wanted to tell you. | But there was something else I wanted to tell you. |
70 | 00:02:25,245 | 00:02:26,279 | (bell chimes) | (bell chimes) |
71 | 00:02:26,346 | 00:02:27,881 | Well, that was a very long walk | Well, that was a very long walk |
72 | 00:02:27,948 | 00:02:29,249 | to a surprising destination. | to a surprising destination. |
73 | 00:02:29,315 | 00:02:30,584 | Dude, look, this is insane. | Dude, look, this is insane. |
74 | 00:02:30,651 | 00:02:33,119 | This is Lil Blurp's Instagram from yesterday. | This is Lil Blurp's Instagram from yesterday. |
75 | 00:02:33,186 | 00:02:34,755 | "Shout‐out to my fans, my brands, | "Shout‐out to my fans, my brands, |
76 | 00:02:34,821 | 00:02:36,523 | ‐and, most of all..." ‐JOHN: Mm‐hmm. | ‐and, most of all..." ‐JOHN: Mm‐hmm. |
77 | 00:02:36,590 | 00:02:39,125 | "This homie right here," and guess who he's standing with. | "This homie right here," and guess who he's standing with. |
78 | 00:02:39,192 | 00:02:41,261 | JOHN: Uh, let me guess. My dad? | JOHN: Uh, let me guess. My dad? |
79 | 00:02:41,327 | 00:02:43,329 | Wait, your dad knows Lil Blurp? | Wait, your dad knows Lil Blurp? |
80 | 00:02:43,396 | 00:02:45,165 | I mean, what is happening right now? | I mean, what is happening right now? |
81 | 00:02:45,231 | 00:02:46,633 | Well, David, as I've just learned, | Well, David, as I've just learned, |
82 | 00:02:46,700 | 00:02:50,504 | my dad is apparently Dicktown's biggest mumble rap mogul. | my dad is apparently Dicktown's biggest mumble rap mogul. |
83 | 00:02:50,571 | 00:02:52,405 | Dear Lord, we thank you for this blessing | Dear Lord, we thank you for this blessing |
84 | 00:02:52,472 | 00:02:54,575 | and this miracle. This is so awesome! | and this miracle. This is so awesome! |
85 | 00:02:54,641 | 00:02:56,810 | What's more, he was calling with a case for us. | What's more, he was calling with a case for us. |
86 | 00:02:56,877 | 00:02:58,478 | And, Lord, P. S., just when I thought | And, Lord, P. S., just when I thought |
87 | 00:02:58,545 | 00:02:59,946 | this couldn't get more wonderful, | this couldn't get more wonderful, |
88 | 00:03:00,013 | 00:03:02,783 | you bless us with the fact that we are about to become | you bless us with the fact that we are about to become |
89 | 00:03:02,849 | 00:03:03,984 | rap detectives, John? | rap detectives, John? |
90 | 00:03:04,050 | 00:03:05,485 | Huh, I guess that's right, David. | Huh, I guess that's right, David. |
91 | 00:03:05,552 | 00:03:08,822 | We are now rap detectives. | We are now rap detectives. |
92 | 00:03:08,889 | 00:03:11,825 | (dramatic music) | (dramatic music) |
93 | 00:03:11,892 | 00:03:14,528 | ♪♪ ♪♪ | ♪♪ ♪♪ |
94 | 00:03:14,595 | 00:03:16,429 | HUNCHMAN: Believe me, fellas, I never thought | HUNCHMAN: Believe me, fellas, I never thought |
95 | 00:03:16,496 | 00:03:18,632 | I'd get into the mumble rap business. | I'd get into the mumble rap business. |
96 | 00:03:18,699 | 00:03:20,634 | Oh, really, you didn't predict this? | Oh, really, you didn't predict this? |
97 | 00:03:20,701 | 00:03:22,969 | To be honest, retirement was kind of dull, | To be honest, retirement was kind of dull, |
98 | 00:03:23,036 | 00:03:26,507 | and, as you both know, I crave excitement. | and, as you both know, I crave excitement. |
99 | 00:03:26,573 | 00:03:28,108 | That's when Dan Henry told me about | That's when Dan Henry told me about |
100 | 00:03:28,174 | 00:03:30,143 | a young songwriter who needed help. | a young songwriter who needed help. |
101 | 00:03:30,210 | 00:03:32,045 | Mr. Hunchman, what's up, bruh? | Mr. Hunchman, what's up, bruh? |
102 | 00:03:32,112 | 00:03:33,980 | What's crack‐a‐lackin', Perky? | What's crack‐a‐lackin', Perky? |
103 | 00:03:34,047 | 00:03:35,081 | I'm so into this. | I'm so into this. |
104 | 00:03:35,148 | 00:03:36,416 | Uh‐huh. Let's just keep walking. | Uh‐huh. Let's just keep walking. |
105 | 00:03:36,482 | 00:03:40,086 | Now here I am, producing a rap music video | Now here I am, producing a rap music video |
106 | 00:03:40,153 | 00:03:42,088 | in an abandoned shopping mall. | in an abandoned shopping mall. |
107 | 00:03:42,155 | 00:03:45,025 | Who says there are no second acts in American lives? | Who says there are no second acts in American lives? |
108 | 00:03:45,091 | 00:03:46,159 | ‐Fitzgerald. ‐Batman. | ‐Fitzgerald. ‐Batman. |
109 | 00:03:46,226 | 00:03:47,661 | What? No, F. Scott Fitzgerald. | What? No, F. Scott Fitzgerald. |
110 | 00:03:47,728 | 00:03:49,830 | Well, as Lil Blurp might say, | Well, as Lil Blurp might say, |
111 | 00:03:49,896 | 00:03:53,767 | Papa Zany, haters get wetted by my nine. | Papa Zany, haters get wetted by my nine. |
112 | 00:03:53,834 | 00:03:54,635 | (hip‐hop music) | (hip‐hop music) |
113 | 00:03:54,701 | 00:03:57,771 | Here we are. Now we need to be quiet. | Here we are. Now we need to be quiet. |
114 | 00:03:57,838 | 00:03:59,439 | ‐BOTH: Whoa. ‐(mumble rapping) | ‐BOTH: Whoa. ‐(mumble rapping) |
115 | 00:03:59,506 | 00:04:01,942 | DAVID: Oh‐em‐God. | DAVID: Oh‐em‐God. |
116 | 00:04:02,008 | 00:04:04,878 | Welcome to show biz, fellas. | Welcome to show biz, fellas. |
117 | 00:04:04,945 | 00:04:06,279 | (mimics blaring airhorn) | (mimics blaring airhorn) |
118 | 00:04:06,346 | 00:04:07,514 | ♪♪ Nah, just give me paper ♪♪ | ♪♪ Nah, just give me paper ♪♪ |
119 | 00:04:07,581 | 00:04:09,550 | ♪♪ I just want the paper ♪♪ | ♪♪ I just want the paper ♪♪ |
120 | 00:04:09,616 | 00:04:12,118 | (indistinct rapping) | (indistinct rapping) |
121 | 00:04:12,185 | 00:04:15,989 | Wowie McGowie, this is bad. | Wowie McGowie, this is bad. |
122 | 00:04:16,056 | 00:04:17,658 | (indistinct rapping) | (indistinct rapping) |
123 | 00:04:17,724 | 00:04:19,092 | ♪♪ Hey, Papa Zany ♪♪ | ♪♪ Hey, Papa Zany ♪♪ |
124 | 00:04:19,159 | 00:04:22,328 | ♪♪ Haters get wetted by my nine ♪♪ | ♪♪ Haters get wetted by my nine ♪♪ |
125 | 00:04:22,395 | 00:04:24,765 | ‐♪♪ Papa Zany ♪♪ ‐Oh, my God, Dad. | ‐♪♪ Papa Zany ♪♪ ‐Oh, my God, Dad. |
126 | 00:04:24,831 | 00:04:27,300 | JOHN: How much money did you invest in this project? | JOHN: How much money did you invest in this project? |
127 | 00:04:27,367 | 00:04:28,669 | $200,000. | $200,000. |
128 | 00:04:28,735 | 00:04:30,370 | Oh, no. | Oh, no. |
129 | 00:04:30,436 | 00:04:32,172 | And what, I suppose you want me to try | And what, I suppose you want me to try |
130 | 00:04:32,238 | 00:04:33,473 | to get the money back for you somehow? | to get the money back for you somehow? |
131 | 00:04:33,540 | 00:04:35,441 | No, I made that money back in a week | No, I made that money back in a week |
132 | 00:04:35,509 | 00:04:38,444 | once we monetized Lil Blurp's YouTube channel, | once we monetized Lil Blurp's YouTube channel, |
133 | 00:04:38,512 | 00:04:40,080 | which is amazing, considering he dropped out of | which is amazing, considering he dropped out of |
134 | 00:04:40,146 | 00:04:42,716 | Smallmouth Poly Prep just five months ago. | Smallmouth Poly Prep just five months ago. |
135 | 00:04:42,783 | 00:04:44,317 | ‐I can't hear you‐‐what? ‐He dropped out of | ‐I can't hear you‐‐what? ‐He dropped out of |
136 | 00:04:44,384 | 00:04:47,120 | ‐Smallmouth Poly Prep‐‐ ‐RIZ: Cut! | ‐Smallmouth Poly Prep‐‐ ‐RIZ: Cut! |
137 | 00:04:47,187 | 00:04:49,355 | Who's fucking up my shoot, yo? | Who's fucking up my shoot, yo? |
138 | 00:04:49,422 | 00:04:51,825 | Oh, yeesh, I'm sorry, Riz. My bad. | Oh, yeesh, I'm sorry, Riz. My bad. |
139 | 00:04:51,892 | 00:04:54,961 | Boys, this is Ryan "Riz" McClorkle. | Boys, this is Ryan "Riz" McClorkle. |
140 | 00:04:55,028 | 00:04:56,863 | ‐He's our director. ‐I'm on my grind, | ‐He's our director. ‐I'm on my grind, |
141 | 00:04:56,930 | 00:04:58,298 | tryin' to make Lil Blurp blow up, | tryin' to make Lil Blurp blow up, |
142 | 00:04:58,364 | 00:05:00,567 | so if you gonna keep talking, you gotta take it outside | so if you gonna keep talking, you gotta take it outside |
143 | 00:05:00,634 | 00:05:02,235 | or just shut the fuck up. | or just shut the fuck up. |
144 | 00:05:02,302 | 00:05:03,670 | Hey, that's‐‐that's my dad. | Hey, that's‐‐that's my dad. |
145 | 00:05:03,737 | 00:05:06,306 | Yo, Riz. Hold these. | Yo, Riz. Hold these. |
146 | 00:05:06,372 | 00:05:10,076 | No one disrespects Mr. Hunchman like that, you hear me? | No one disrespects Mr. Hunchman like that, you hear me? |
147 | 00:05:10,143 | 00:05:12,178 | ‐Yeah. ‐He's the bank. | ‐Yeah. ‐He's the bank. |
148 | 00:05:12,245 | 00:05:14,314 | ‐Okay. ‐He pays you! | ‐Okay. ‐He pays you! |
149 | 00:05:14,380 | 00:05:16,550 | ‐Yeah. ‐So just on the professional, | ‐Yeah. ‐So just on the professional, |
150 | 00:05:16,617 | 00:05:18,919 | ‐you let him by. ‐Sorry, Blurp. | ‐you let him by. ‐Sorry, Blurp. |
151 | 00:05:18,985 | 00:05:20,320 | But more than that, | But more than that, |
152 | 00:05:20,386 | 00:05:22,188 | he's that white dad I never had. | he's that white dad I never had. |
153 | 00:05:22,255 | 00:05:24,057 | Straight up father figure. | Straight up father figure. |
154 | 00:05:24,124 | 00:05:25,659 | Shout‐out to Mr. Hunchman! | Shout‐out to Mr. Hunchman! |
155 | 00:05:25,726 | 00:05:28,061 | (laughs) It's all love. | (laughs) It's all love. |
156 | 00:05:28,128 | 00:05:31,197 | Aw, you sounded magnificent up there, Blurp. | Aw, you sounded magnificent up there, Blurp. |
157 | 00:05:31,264 | 00:05:33,066 | ‐Mm, did he? ‐Yo! | ‐Mm, did he? ‐Yo! |
158 | 00:05:33,133 | 00:05:35,902 | Inspector John, the lonely detective! | Inspector John, the lonely detective! |
159 | 00:05:35,969 | 00:05:38,505 | ‐You gonna help us? ‐Uh, actually I don't know | ‐You gonna help us? ‐Uh, actually I don't know |
160 | 00:05:38,572 | 00:05:39,673 | why I'm here, Dad. | why I'm here, Dad. |
161 | 00:05:39,740 | 00:05:41,608 | This is why I called you, bud. | This is why I called you, bud. |
162 | 00:05:41,675 | 00:05:43,610 | There's been an incident on set. | There's been an incident on set. |
163 | 00:05:43,677 | 00:05:45,445 | Do y'all fuck with Lil Dronk? | Do y'all fuck with Lil Dronk? |
164 | 00:05:45,512 | 00:05:47,781 | I don't think we do. David? | I don't think we do. David? |
165 | 00:05:47,848 | 00:05:49,215 | ‐Not to my knowledge. ‐Hmm. | ‐Not to my knowledge. ‐Hmm. |
166 | 00:05:49,282 | 00:05:52,018 | LIL BLURP: He a rainbow dreadlock no‐talent bitch. | LIL BLURP: He a rainbow dreadlock no‐talent bitch. |
167 | 00:05:52,085 | 00:05:55,055 | We see Little Dronk as a competitor | We see Little Dronk as a competitor |
168 | 00:05:55,121 | 00:05:56,823 | in the mumble rap sector. | in the mumble rap sector. |
169 | 00:05:56,890 | 00:05:58,892 | LIL BLURP: Lil Dronk shot a video with a lion. | LIL BLURP: Lil Dronk shot a video with a lion. |
170 | 00:05:58,959 | 00:06:01,795 | He walkin' around with a damn lion. | He walkin' around with a damn lion. |
171 | 00:06:01,862 | 00:06:04,330 | ‐Uh‐huh. ‐So I gotta up the game | ‐Uh‐huh. ‐So I gotta up the game |
172 | 00:06:04,397 | 00:06:05,866 | ‐for my video. ‐Oh. | ‐for my video. ‐Oh. |
173 | 00:06:05,932 | 00:06:07,300 | So guess what I got. | So guess what I got. |
174 | 00:06:07,367 | 00:06:09,703 | Ten omelets! | Ten omelets! |
175 | 00:06:09,770 | 00:06:11,572 | I'm sorry. Omelets? | I'm sorry. Omelets? |
176 | 00:06:11,638 | 00:06:13,073 | Blurp, we've been over this. | Blurp, we've been over this. |
177 | 00:06:13,139 | 00:06:14,808 | They're called ocelots. | They're called ocelots. |
178 | 00:06:14,875 | 00:06:16,743 | (gasps) You have ten ocelots here? | (gasps) You have ten ocelots here? |
179 | 00:06:16,810 | 00:06:20,514 | LIL BLURP: Yeah! Ocelots be like mini tigers. | LIL BLURP: Yeah! Ocelots be like mini tigers. |
180 | 00:06:20,581 | 00:06:22,616 | We got 'em from some animal rescue. | We got 'em from some animal rescue. |
181 | 00:06:22,683 | 00:06:24,450 | Rhode Island or some shit? | Rhode Island or some shit? |
182 | 00:06:24,518 | 00:06:26,687 | It was right over the border in South Carolina. | It was right over the border in South Carolina. |
183 | 00:06:26,753 | 00:06:29,389 | Right, I thought that was Rhode Island, | Right, I thought that was Rhode Island, |
184 | 00:06:29,455 | 00:06:32,693 | but it was South Carolina. | but it was South Carolina. |
185 | 00:06:32,759 | 00:06:34,695 | HUNCHMAN: Marinello Sisters Big Cat Rescue. | HUNCHMAN: Marinello Sisters Big Cat Rescue. |
186 | 00:06:34,761 | 00:06:37,363 | People get them as pets, but they too wild, | People get them as pets, but they too wild, |
187 | 00:06:37,430 | 00:06:39,966 | so they abandon them. It's sad. | so they abandon them. It's sad. |
188 | 00:06:40,033 | 00:06:41,301 | It is sad, Blurp. | It is sad, Blurp. |
189 | 00:06:41,367 | 00:06:43,570 | You two really get along, don't you? | You two really get along, don't you? |
190 | 00:06:43,637 | 00:06:47,207 | So, it's finna be your boy, space hallway stuntin' | So, it's finna be your boy, space hallway stuntin' |
191 | 00:06:47,273 | 00:06:50,410 | with ten little homies like we at Harris Teeter, | with ten little homies like we at Harris Teeter, |
192 | 00:06:50,476 | 00:06:53,113 | also Tokyo Drift, sheezer. | also Tokyo Drift, sheezer. |
193 | 00:06:53,179 | 00:06:57,117 | But this morning? They boosted, nah mean? | But this morning? They boosted, nah mean? |
194 | 00:06:57,183 | 00:06:58,084 | (laughs) No. | (laughs) No. |
195 | 00:06:58,151 | 00:06:59,620 | All right, let me figure this out. | All right, let me figure this out. |
196 | 00:06:59,686 | 00:07:02,956 | You rented ten ocelots to put in a shopping cart. | You rented ten ocelots to put in a shopping cart. |
197 | 00:07:03,023 | 00:07:04,090 | That's the Harris Teeter reference. | That's the Harris Teeter reference. |
198 | 00:07:04,157 | 00:07:04,991 | (bell dings) | (bell dings) |
199 | 00:07:05,058 | 00:07:06,459 | And push across that sky bridge‐‐ | And push across that sky bridge‐‐ |
200 | 00:07:06,527 | 00:07:07,694 | ‐space hallway‐‐ ‐(bell chimes) | ‐space hallway‐‐ ‐(bell chimes) |
201 | 00:07:07,761 | 00:07:09,029 | in slow motion‐‐ "Tokyo Drift." | in slow motion‐‐ "Tokyo Drift." |
202 | 00:07:09,095 | 00:07:11,431 | ‐(bell chimes) ‐But they've been stolen. | ‐(bell chimes) ‐But they've been stolen. |
203 | 00:07:11,497 | 00:07:13,634 | ‐And you want us to find them. ‐(bell chimes rapidly) | ‐And you want us to find them. ‐(bell chimes rapidly) |
204 | 00:07:13,700 | 00:07:18,038 | Oh, ho, ho, you a don, Detective John! | Oh, ho, ho, you a don, Detective John! |
205 | 00:07:18,104 | 00:07:20,106 | ‐Does that rhyme? ‐Putting that together was | ‐Does that rhyme? ‐Putting that together was |
206 | 00:07:20,173 | 00:07:22,342 | honestly the best detective work I've ever done in my life. | honestly the best detective work I've ever done in my life. |
207 | 00:07:22,408 | 00:07:24,010 | Can you help us, son? Please. | Can you help us, son? Please. |
208 | 00:07:24,077 | 00:07:26,847 | This video is a crucial step for Little Blurp. | This video is a crucial step for Little Blurp. |
209 | 00:07:26,913 | 00:07:28,749 | (sighs) Fine, Dad. | (sighs) Fine, Dad. |
210 | 00:07:28,815 | 00:07:31,618 | Take us to the scene of the crime. | Take us to the scene of the crime. |
211 | 00:07:31,685 | 00:07:32,919 | DAVID: Okay, here's what we know. | DAVID: Okay, here's what we know. |
212 | 00:07:32,986 | 00:07:35,121 | At 7:00 a. m., the ocelots were locked up | At 7:00 a. m., the ocelots were locked up |
213 | 00:07:35,188 | 00:07:37,123 | under the care of Daisy Marinello | under the care of Daisy Marinello |
214 | 00:07:37,190 | 00:07:39,125 | of Marinello Sisters Animal Rescue. | of Marinello Sisters Animal Rescue. |
215 | 00:07:39,192 | 00:07:41,595 | After a crew breakfast that was around 8:15, | After a crew breakfast that was around 8:15, |
216 | 00:07:41,662 | 00:07:44,097 | Daisy says she feels "sleepy." | Daisy says she feels "sleepy." |
217 | 00:07:44,164 | 00:07:45,498 | She disappears, | She disappears, |
218 | 00:07:45,566 | 00:07:48,502 | and next thing you know, all the ocelots are gone. | and next thing you know, all the ocelots are gone. |
219 | 00:07:48,569 | 00:07:50,504 | Oh, my God, this is terrible. | Oh, my God, this is terrible. |
220 | 00:07:50,571 | 00:07:52,372 | I mean, it's really shameful. | I mean, it's really shameful. |
221 | 00:07:52,438 | 00:07:53,774 | It's not that bad. It's just ocelots. | It's not that bad. It's just ocelots. |
222 | 00:07:53,840 | 00:07:56,176 | No, no, this, I'm watching this Lil Dronk video. | No, no, this, I'm watching this Lil Dronk video. |
223 | 00:07:56,242 | 00:07:57,310 | DAVID: Oh. | DAVID: Oh. |
224 | 00:07:57,377 | 00:07:58,745 | JOHN: I mean, it's an insult to rap music. | JOHN: I mean, it's an insult to rap music. |
225 | 00:07:58,812 | 00:07:59,980 | What happened to lyrics? | What happened to lyrics? |
226 | 00:08:00,046 | 00:08:01,582 | ‐To craftsmanship? ‐Yeah, I know. | ‐To craftsmanship? ‐Yeah, I know. |
227 | 00:08:01,648 | 00:08:04,117 | I know, nobody under the age of 30 can rap for shit. | I know, nobody under the age of 30 can rap for shit. |
228 | 00:08:04,184 | 00:08:06,553 | ‐Come at me, teenagers. ‐JOHN: I just don't get it. | ‐Come at me, teenagers. ‐JOHN: I just don't get it. |
229 | 00:08:06,620 | 00:08:07,854 | I know that after my mom died, | I know that after my mom died, |
230 | 00:08:07,921 | 00:08:09,389 | Dad and I didn't have much in common, | Dad and I didn't have much in common, |
231 | 00:08:09,455 | 00:08:13,359 | but I didn't expect him to replace me with a secret son, | but I didn't expect him to replace me with a secret son, |
232 | 00:08:13,426 | 00:08:14,561 | especially not one with the words | especially not one with the words |
233 | 00:08:14,628 | 00:08:16,897 | "fuck life, eat pie" tattooed on his tongue. | "fuck life, eat pie" tattooed on his tongue. |
234 | 00:08:16,963 | 00:08:18,599 | I understand. It's heavy and it's weird, | I understand. It's heavy and it's weird, |
235 | 00:08:18,665 | 00:08:20,033 | but look on the bright side. | but look on the bright side. |
236 | 00:08:20,100 | 00:08:23,136 | A rapper is paying us money to hunt ocelots | A rapper is paying us money to hunt ocelots |
237 | 00:08:23,203 | 00:08:25,672 | in the very same mall where I once got busted | in the very same mall where I once got busted |
238 | 00:08:25,739 | 00:08:28,341 | for shoplifting KRS‐One cassettes. | for shoplifting KRS‐One cassettes. |
239 | 00:08:29,175 | 00:08:31,444 | You know what? That was a good pep talk. | You know what? That was a good pep talk. |
240 | 00:08:31,512 | 00:08:32,946 | ‐Yeah, I know. ‐Okay, let's do this. | ‐Yeah, I know. ‐Okay, let's do this. |
241 | 00:08:33,013 | 00:08:35,115 | Ocelots‐‐highly solitary, natural climbers... | Ocelots‐‐highly solitary, natural climbers... |
242 | 00:08:35,181 | 00:08:38,552 | If my guess is right‐‐ and it is‐‐they went up | If my guess is right‐‐ and it is‐‐they went up |
243 | 00:08:38,619 | 00:08:40,120 | that open air duct shaft and split up. | that open air duct shaft and split up. |
244 | 00:08:40,186 | 00:08:42,322 | DAVID: (laughs) Are we going up in an air duct? | DAVID: (laughs) Are we going up in an air duct? |
245 | 00:08:42,388 | 00:08:43,557 | ‐Yes. ‐Hell yes. | ‐Yes. ‐Hell yes. |
246 | 00:08:43,624 | 00:08:45,692 | Ocelot hunting montage? | Ocelot hunting montage? |
247 | 00:08:45,759 | 00:08:47,227 | Bring that beat back! | Bring that beat back! |
248 | 00:08:47,293 | 00:08:50,063 | (funky music) | (funky music) |
249 | 00:08:50,130 | 00:08:56,537 | ♪♪ ♪♪ | ♪♪ ♪♪ |
250 | 00:09:17,858 | 00:09:21,662 | LIL BLURP: Yo, that's amazing! | LIL BLURP: Yo, that's amazing! |
251 | 00:09:21,728 | 00:09:23,997 | But I only count nine omelets. | But I only count nine omelets. |
252 | 00:09:24,064 | 00:09:26,567 | Well, that's why I brought you here, Lil Blurp. | Well, that's why I brought you here, Lil Blurp. |
253 | 00:09:26,633 | 00:09:30,771 | Because, unlike most cats, ocelots are gifted swimmers. | Because, unlike most cats, ocelots are gifted swimmers. |
254 | 00:09:30,837 | 00:09:33,507 | Thank you for finding my babies! | Thank you for finding my babies! |
255 | 00:09:33,574 | 00:09:35,642 | I still don't know why I passed out. | I still don't know why I passed out. |
256 | 00:09:35,709 | 00:09:37,611 | Well, let me guess, Daisy. | Well, let me guess, Daisy. |
257 | 00:09:37,678 | 00:09:40,747 | Was your breakfast smoothie strangely sweet this morning? | Was your breakfast smoothie strangely sweet this morning? |
258 | 00:09:40,814 | 00:09:43,116 | Yes! How did you know? | Yes! How did you know? |
259 | 00:09:43,183 | 00:09:45,986 | I didn't just come here to stuff pillowcases with ocelots. | I didn't just come here to stuff pillowcases with ocelots. |
260 | 00:09:46,052 | 00:09:47,888 | I came here to solve a mystery. | I came here to solve a mystery. |
261 | 00:09:47,954 | 00:09:49,623 | Someone wanted you out of the way | Someone wanted you out of the way |
262 | 00:09:49,690 | 00:09:51,057 | and those ocelots gone, | and those ocelots gone, |
263 | 00:09:51,124 | 00:09:53,426 | because someone wanted this video to fail. | because someone wanted this video to fail. |
264 | 00:09:53,493 | 00:09:55,161 | Oh, for Pete's sake! | Oh, for Pete's sake! |
265 | 00:09:55,228 | 00:09:58,932 | Lil Blurp, before David and I went on our "lil safari," | Lil Blurp, before David and I went on our "lil safari," |
266 | 00:09:58,999 | 00:10:00,567 | I did some research into the work | I did some research into the work |
267 | 00:10:00,634 | 00:10:02,002 | of your rival, Lil Dronk. | of your rival, Lil Dronk. |
268 | 00:10:02,068 | 00:10:03,670 | Do you happen to know who directed | Do you happen to know who directed |
269 | 00:10:03,737 | 00:10:05,371 | that video of him with the lion? | that video of him with the lion? |
270 | 00:10:05,438 | 00:10:07,941 | I do not happen to know. | I do not happen to know. |
271 | 00:10:08,008 | 00:10:10,343 | Well, I checked the credits. It's Riz. | Well, I checked the credits. It's Riz. |
272 | 00:10:10,410 | 00:10:13,514 | ‐He's also Lil Dronk's manager. ‐(all gasping) | ‐He's also Lil Dronk's manager. ‐(all gasping) |
273 | 00:10:13,580 | 00:10:15,782 | What? Riz works for Lil Dronk? | What? Riz works for Lil Dronk? |
274 | 00:10:15,849 | 00:10:17,684 | JOHN: And, Daisy, your breakfast smoothie | JOHN: And, Daisy, your breakfast smoothie |
275 | 00:10:17,751 | 00:10:19,219 | was actually Lean, | was actually Lean, |
276 | 00:10:19,285 | 00:10:22,556 | a potent mix of codeine, promethazine, and candy. | a potent mix of codeine, promethazine, and candy. |
277 | 00:10:22,623 | 00:10:24,190 | What? | What? |
278 | 00:10:24,257 | 00:10:26,326 | You said it was flaxseed and kale! | You said it was flaxseed and kale! |
279 | 00:10:26,392 | 00:10:29,229 | Riz drugged you, so he could release the ocelots | Riz drugged you, so he could release the ocelots |
280 | 00:10:29,295 | 00:10:30,631 | and sabotage the video. | and sabotage the video. |
281 | 00:10:30,697 | 00:10:33,133 | Yo, Riz, what's your problem? | Yo, Riz, what's your problem? |
282 | 00:10:33,199 | 00:10:35,702 | My problem is you should've hired me as your manager, | My problem is you should've hired me as your manager, |
283 | 00:10:35,769 | 00:10:38,338 | not this old‐ass, khaki‐wearing motherfucker. | not this old‐ass, khaki‐wearing motherfucker. |
284 | 00:10:38,404 | 00:10:39,773 | Hey, watch it, sir. | Hey, watch it, sir. |
285 | 00:10:39,840 | 00:10:42,275 | At least Mr. Hunchman act his age. | At least Mr. Hunchman act his age. |
286 | 00:10:42,342 | 00:10:44,244 | You 35 years old! | You 35 years old! |
287 | 00:10:44,310 | 00:10:46,212 | Wear a necktie, damn. | Wear a necktie, damn. |
288 | 00:10:46,279 | 00:10:47,413 | You tell him, son. | You tell him, son. |
289 | 00:10:47,480 | 00:10:48,882 | I‐I mean, Blurp. | I‐I mean, Blurp. |
290 | 00:10:48,949 | 00:10:50,784 | Fuck all y'all. I'm out. | Fuck all y'all. I'm out. |
291 | 00:10:50,851 | 00:10:52,519 | RIZ: Peace! | RIZ: Peace! |
292 | 00:10:52,586 | 00:10:54,254 | Deploy the ocelots. | Deploy the ocelots. |
293 | 00:10:54,320 | 00:10:57,524 | ‐Go, go, go, my babies! ‐(ocelots snarling) | ‐Go, go, go, my babies! ‐(ocelots snarling) |
294 | 00:10:57,591 | 00:10:58,992 | ‐Feast! ‐RIZ: Ah, oh! | ‐Feast! ‐RIZ: Ah, oh! |
295 | 00:10:59,059 | 00:11:03,129 | Ooh, that is not gonna end well for Rizzy Fannypack Face. | Ooh, that is not gonna end well for Rizzy Fannypack Face. |
296 | 00:11:03,196 | 00:11:04,931 | ‐Mm, they are bloodthirsty. ‐(ocelots growling) | ‐Mm, they are bloodthirsty. ‐(ocelots growling) |
297 | 00:11:04,998 | 00:11:07,668 | Mr. H, will you direct the rest of the video? | Mr. H, will you direct the rest of the video? |
298 | 00:11:07,734 | 00:11:09,970 | (gasps) Yes... | (gasps) Yes... |
299 | 00:11:10,036 | 00:11:11,938 | if you do it my way. | if you do it my way. |
300 | 00:11:12,005 | 00:11:12,906 | LIL BLURP: ♪♪ Hey, Papa Zany ♪♪ | LIL BLURP: ♪♪ Hey, Papa Zany ♪♪ |
301 | 00:11:12,973 | 00:11:15,275 | DAVID: I gotta say, Mr. H, | DAVID: I gotta say, Mr. H, |
302 | 00:11:15,341 | 00:11:17,844 | ‐this is an epic shot. ‐Thanks, David. | ‐this is an epic shot. ‐Thanks, David. |
303 | 00:11:17,911 | 00:11:20,146 | I was always a fan of Busby Berkeley. | I was always a fan of Busby Berkeley. |
304 | 00:11:20,213 | 00:11:22,849 | Say, Dad, I think I solved another mystery today. | Say, Dad, I think I solved another mystery today. |
305 | 00:11:22,916 | 00:11:24,184 | What's that, son? | What's that, son? |
306 | 00:11:24,250 | 00:11:25,719 | No, no, turn around. Look at the monitor. | No, no, turn around. Look at the monitor. |
307 | 00:11:25,786 | 00:11:27,287 | This is‐‐ this is going to be emotional. | This is‐‐ this is going to be emotional. |
308 | 00:11:27,353 | 00:11:29,289 | ‐Okay. ‐I get it. | ‐Okay. ‐I get it. |
309 | 00:11:29,355 | 00:11:31,558 | You see Lil Blurp as a son because he needs you, | You see Lil Blurp as a son because he needs you, |
310 | 00:11:31,625 | 00:11:33,193 | and, even though you're my dad | and, even though you're my dad |
311 | 00:11:33,259 | 00:11:35,529 | and I love you, technically, | and I love you, technically, |
312 | 00:11:35,596 | 00:11:37,430 | I never really needed you. | I never really needed you. |
313 | 00:11:37,497 | 00:11:39,700 | HUNCHMAN: The young man has tattoos on his face | HUNCHMAN: The young man has tattoos on his face |
314 | 00:11:39,766 | 00:11:41,902 | and drinks God‐knows‐what to avoid reality. | and drinks God‐knows‐what to avoid reality. |
315 | 00:11:41,968 | 00:11:43,804 | I just want him to be okay. | I just want him to be okay. |
316 | 00:11:43,870 | 00:11:45,539 | I hope that doesn't hurt you. | I hope that doesn't hurt you. |
317 | 00:11:45,606 | 00:11:49,142 | No, it's...fine, actually, now that I understand. | No, it's...fine, actually, now that I understand. |
318 | 00:11:49,209 | 00:11:51,377 | MEG: Excuse me, Mr. Hunchman? | MEG: Excuse me, Mr. Hunchman? |
319 | 00:11:51,444 | 00:11:52,412 | My name's Meg. | My name's Meg. |
320 | 00:11:52,478 | 00:11:54,480 | ‐Could I get a selfie with you? ‐Sure. | ‐Could I get a selfie with you? ‐Sure. |
321 | 00:11:54,548 | 00:11:56,416 | (quietly) What's a "selfie"? | (quietly) What's a "selfie"? |
322 | 00:11:56,482 | 00:11:58,284 | (vaudeville music) | (vaudeville music) |