# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:06,940 00:00:08,709 DAVID: Meg, for the last time, DAVID: Meg, for the last time,
2 00:00:08,775 00:00:10,944 if you don't think Led Zeppelin if you don't think Led Zeppelin
3 00:00:11,011 00:00:12,846 is the greatest rock band of all time, is the greatest rock band of all time,
4 00:00:12,913 00:00:14,615 then on some fundamental level, then on some fundamental level,
5 00:00:14,681 00:00:18,318 you don't understand what rock music even is. you don't understand what rock music even is.
6 00:00:18,384 00:00:20,386 I'm fine with that. Rock music is for dads. I'm fine with that. Rock music is for dads.
7 00:00:20,453 00:00:21,454 DAVID: It's one of the best musical genres DAVID: It's one of the best musical genres
8 00:00:21,522 00:00:22,889 ‐of all time. ‐JOHN: Uh, nope. ‐of all time. ‐JOHN: Uh, nope.
9 00:00:22,956 00:00:25,526 That's why they call it rock music‐‐because it rocks. That's why they call it rock music‐‐because it rocks.
10 00:00:25,592 00:00:27,427 Whatever, genres are for dads. Whatever, genres are for dads.
11 00:00:27,493 00:00:29,162 This is breaking my heart, 'cause I'm a smart guy, This is breaking my heart, 'cause I'm a smart guy,
12 00:00:29,229 00:00:30,697 and you should take my opinions seriously. and you should take my opinions seriously.
13 00:00:30,764 00:00:31,732 (hip‐hop music) (hip‐hop music)
14 00:00:31,798 00:00:33,233 Sorry, can't hear you! Sorry, can't hear you!
15 00:00:33,299 00:00:35,435 (indistinct singing) (indistinct singing)
16 00:00:35,502 00:00:37,303 What the fuck is this music right now, What the fuck is this music right now,
17 00:00:37,370 00:00:39,506 ‐this mumbling shit? ‐ It's Lil Blurp's new mixtape. ‐this mumbling shit? ‐ It's Lil Blurp's new mixtape.
18 00:00:39,573 00:00:42,876 Ugh, you know, this sounds like an upset stomach Ugh, you know, this sounds like an upset stomach
19 00:00:42,943 00:00:45,712 somehow fucking a headache, somehow fucking a headache,
20 00:00:45,779 00:00:48,014 and I don't like how it makes me feel. and I don't like how it makes me feel.
21 00:00:48,081 00:00:49,916 So? Feelings are for dads. So? Feelings are for dads.
22 00:00:49,983 00:00:52,418 Oh, my God, will you shut up for one second about dads? Oh, my God, will you shut up for one second about dads?
23 00:00:52,485 00:00:53,587 ‐(phone rings) ‐JOHN: No, thanks. ‐(phone rings) ‐JOHN: No, thanks.
24 00:00:53,654 00:00:55,956 ‐Is that your dad? ‐Uh, no comment. ‐Is that your dad? ‐Uh, no comment.
25 00:00:56,022 00:00:57,323 Ooh, Meg, is this a first pressing Ooh, Meg, is this a first pressing
26 00:00:57,390 00:00:58,625 of Swordfish Trombones? of Swordfish Trombones?
27 00:00:58,692 00:00:59,893 John, you should put down that dumb record John, you should put down that dumb record
28 00:00:59,960 00:01:00,861 and call your dad. and call your dad.
29 00:01:00,927 00:01:02,395 It's Sunday, man. It's Sunday, man.
30 00:01:02,462 00:01:05,832 Yes, and I deserve one Sunday where I'm not held hostage Yes, and I deserve one Sunday where I'm not held hostage
31 00:01:05,899 00:01:07,601 to my dad's go‐nowhere stories. to my dad's go‐nowhere stories.
32 00:01:07,668 00:01:09,269 Ooh, what's wrong with his dad? Ooh, what's wrong with his dad?
33 00:01:09,335 00:01:10,637 There's nothing with his dad! There's nothing with his dad!
34 00:01:10,704 00:01:12,205 Mr. Hunchman is the greatest guy who ever lived. Mr. Hunchman is the greatest guy who ever lived.
35 00:01:12,272 00:01:13,507 He's always like, "Oh, son, do I have He's always like, "Oh, son, do I have
36 00:01:13,574 00:01:14,975 "an interesting story to share with you. "an interesting story to share with you.
37 00:01:15,041 00:01:16,510 "Today I bought a beige washcloth "Today I bought a beige washcloth
38 00:01:16,577 00:01:18,945 and I used my Visa card to purchase it." and I used my Visa card to purchase it."
39 00:01:19,012 00:01:21,782 Ugh, I find that impression to be unnervingly accurate. Ugh, I find that impression to be unnervingly accurate.
40 00:01:21,848 00:01:23,149 You should talk to your dad. You should talk to your dad.
41 00:01:23,216 00:01:25,185 All dads are sad. All dads are sad.
42 00:01:25,251 00:01:28,088 Ah, see? The dad expert hath spoken. Ah, see? The dad expert hath spoken.
43 00:01:28,154 00:01:30,156 ‐Uhh... ‐Heed her words of wisdom. ‐Uhh... ‐Heed her words of wisdom.
44 00:01:30,223 00:01:32,325 Fine, I'll talk to my dad. Fine, I'll talk to my dad.
45 00:01:32,392 00:01:33,994 ‐(sighs) ‐(phone beeps) ‐(sighs) ‐(phone beeps)
46 00:01:34,060 00:01:35,395 ‐Hey, Dad. ‐HUNCHMAN: Hey, bud. ‐Hey, Dad. ‐HUNCHMAN: Hey, bud.
47 00:01:35,461 00:01:38,098 I was worried you lost your phone again. I was worried you lost your phone again.
48 00:01:38,164 00:01:40,601 Uh‐huh, let's hear your interesting news. Uh‐huh, let's hear your interesting news.
49 00:01:40,667 00:01:42,636 So you remember how I told you last month So you remember how I told you last month
50 00:01:42,703 00:01:45,105 I was thinking about driving out to Pittsboro I was thinking about driving out to Pittsboro
51 00:01:45,171 00:01:47,473 to check out Dan Henry's new office? to check out Dan Henry's new office?
52 00:01:47,541 00:01:48,609 Yes? Yes?
53 00:01:48,675 00:01:50,243 HUNCHMAN: I went to see Dan, HUNCHMAN: I went to see Dan,
54 00:01:50,310 00:01:51,612 who you remember started working for me who you remember started working for me
55 00:01:51,678 00:01:53,747 back when he was 24 and now, as you know‐‐ back when he was 24 and now, as you know‐‐
56 00:01:53,814 00:01:56,149 He's got your old job. He's got your old job.
57 00:01:56,216 00:01:58,318 Yes, sir. He got my old job, Yes, sir. He got my old job,
58 00:01:58,384 00:01:59,786 but not my old office! but not my old office!
59 00:01:59,853 00:02:02,823 John, his new office is something else. John, his new office is something else.
60 00:02:02,889 00:02:05,859 They got a whiteboard in the conference room They got a whiteboard in the conference room
61 00:02:05,926 00:02:07,493 that isn't even a whiteboard! that isn't even a whiteboard!
62 00:02:07,561 00:02:09,830 It's just a piece of glass, It's just a piece of glass,
63 00:02:09,896 00:02:12,533 and, son, it's networked. and, son, it's networked.
64 00:02:12,599 00:02:14,668 ‐Okay, and? ‐So if you write on it ‐Okay, and? ‐So if you write on it
65 00:02:14,735 00:02:17,470 in Pittsboro, they could see it at the same time in Pittsboro, they could see it at the same time
66 00:02:17,538 00:02:18,972 at the main branch in Charlotte! at the main branch in Charlotte!
67 00:02:19,039 00:02:21,374 I mean, wowie McGowie! I mean, wowie McGowie!
68 00:02:21,441 00:02:22,776 Okay. Okay.
69 00:02:22,843 00:02:25,178 But there was something else I wanted to tell you. But there was something else I wanted to tell you.
70 00:02:25,245 00:02:26,279 (bell chimes) (bell chimes)
71 00:02:26,346 00:02:27,881 Well, that was a very long walk Well, that was a very long walk
72 00:02:27,948 00:02:29,249 to a surprising destination. to a surprising destination.
73 00:02:29,315 00:02:30,584 Dude, look, this is insane. Dude, look, this is insane.
74 00:02:30,651 00:02:33,119 This is Lil Blurp's Instagram from yesterday. This is Lil Blurp's Instagram from yesterday.
75 00:02:33,186 00:02:34,755 "Shout‐out to my fans, my brands, "Shout‐out to my fans, my brands,
76 00:02:34,821 00:02:36,523 ‐and, most of all..." ‐JOHN: Mm‐hmm. ‐and, most of all..." ‐JOHN: Mm‐hmm.
77 00:02:36,590 00:02:39,125 "This homie right here," and guess who he's standing with. "This homie right here," and guess who he's standing with.
78 00:02:39,192 00:02:41,261 JOHN: Uh, let me guess. My dad? JOHN: Uh, let me guess. My dad?
79 00:02:41,327 00:02:43,329 Wait, your dad knows Lil Blurp? Wait, your dad knows Lil Blurp?
80 00:02:43,396 00:02:45,165 I mean, what is happening right now? I mean, what is happening right now?
81 00:02:45,231 00:02:46,633 Well, David, as I've just learned, Well, David, as I've just learned,
82 00:02:46,700 00:02:50,504 my dad is apparently Dicktown's biggest mumble rap mogul. my dad is apparently Dicktown's biggest mumble rap mogul.
83 00:02:50,571 00:02:52,405 Dear Lord, we thank you for this blessing Dear Lord, we thank you for this blessing
84 00:02:52,472 00:02:54,575 and this miracle. This is so awesome! and this miracle. This is so awesome!
85 00:02:54,641 00:02:56,810 What's more, he was calling with a case for us. What's more, he was calling with a case for us.
86 00:02:56,877 00:02:58,478 And, Lord, P. S., just when I thought And, Lord, P. S., just when I thought
87 00:02:58,545 00:02:59,946 this couldn't get more wonderful, this couldn't get more wonderful,
88 00:03:00,013 00:03:02,783 you bless us with the fact that we are about to become you bless us with the fact that we are about to become
89 00:03:02,849 00:03:03,984 rap detectives, John? rap detectives, John?
90 00:03:04,050 00:03:05,485 Huh, I guess that's right, David. Huh, I guess that's right, David.
91 00:03:05,552 00:03:08,822 We are now rap detectives. We are now rap detectives.
92 00:03:08,889 00:03:11,825 (dramatic music) (dramatic music)
93 00:03:11,892 00:03:14,528 ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪
94 00:03:14,595 00:03:16,429 HUNCHMAN: Believe me, fellas, I never thought HUNCHMAN: Believe me, fellas, I never thought
95 00:03:16,496 00:03:18,632 I'd get into the mumble rap business. I'd get into the mumble rap business.
96 00:03:18,699 00:03:20,634 Oh, really, you didn't predict this? Oh, really, you didn't predict this?
97 00:03:20,701 00:03:22,969 To be honest, retirement was kind of dull, To be honest, retirement was kind of dull,
98 00:03:23,036 00:03:26,507 and, as you both know, I crave excitement. and, as you both know, I crave excitement.
99 00:03:26,573 00:03:28,108 That's when Dan Henry told me about That's when Dan Henry told me about
100 00:03:28,174 00:03:30,143 a young songwriter who needed help. a young songwriter who needed help.
101 00:03:30,210 00:03:32,045 Mr. Hunchman, what's up, bruh? Mr. Hunchman, what's up, bruh?
102 00:03:32,112 00:03:33,980 What's crack‐a‐lackin', Perky? What's crack‐a‐lackin', Perky?
103 00:03:34,047 00:03:35,081 I'm so into this. I'm so into this.
104 00:03:35,148 00:03:36,416 Uh‐huh. Let's just keep walking. Uh‐huh. Let's just keep walking.
105 00:03:36,482 00:03:40,086 Now here I am, producing a rap music video Now here I am, producing a rap music video
106 00:03:40,153 00:03:42,088 in an abandoned shopping mall. in an abandoned shopping mall.
107 00:03:42,155 00:03:45,025 Who says there are no second acts in American lives? Who says there are no second acts in American lives?
108 00:03:45,091 00:03:46,159 ‐Fitzgerald. ‐Batman. ‐Fitzgerald. ‐Batman.
109 00:03:46,226 00:03:47,661 What? No, F. Scott Fitzgerald. What? No, F. Scott Fitzgerald.
110 00:03:47,728 00:03:49,830 Well, as Lil Blurp might say, Well, as Lil Blurp might say,
111 00:03:49,896 00:03:53,767 Papa Zany, haters get wetted by my nine. Papa Zany, haters get wetted by my nine.
112 00:03:53,834 00:03:54,635 (hip‐hop music) (hip‐hop music)
113 00:03:54,701 00:03:57,771 Here we are. Now we need to be quiet. Here we are. Now we need to be quiet.
114 00:03:57,838 00:03:59,439 ‐BOTH: Whoa. ‐(mumble rapping) ‐BOTH: Whoa. ‐(mumble rapping)
115 00:03:59,506 00:04:01,942 DAVID: Oh‐em‐God. DAVID: Oh‐em‐God.
116 00:04:02,008 00:04:04,878 Welcome to show biz, fellas. Welcome to show biz, fellas.
117 00:04:04,945 00:04:06,279 (mimics blaring airhorn) (mimics blaring airhorn)
118 00:04:06,346 00:04:07,514 ♪♪ Nah, just give me paper ♪♪ ♪♪ Nah, just give me paper ♪♪
119 00:04:07,581 00:04:09,550 ♪♪ I just want the paper ♪♪ ♪♪ I just want the paper ♪♪
120 00:04:09,616 00:04:12,118 (indistinct rapping) (indistinct rapping)
121 00:04:12,185 00:04:15,989 Wowie McGowie, this is bad. Wowie McGowie, this is bad.
122 00:04:16,056 00:04:17,658 (indistinct rapping) (indistinct rapping)
123 00:04:17,724 00:04:19,092 ♪♪ Hey, Papa Zany ♪♪ ♪♪ Hey, Papa Zany ♪♪
124 00:04:19,159 00:04:22,328 ♪♪ Haters get wetted by my nine ♪♪ ♪♪ Haters get wetted by my nine ♪♪
125 00:04:22,395 00:04:24,765 ‐♪♪ Papa Zany ♪♪ ‐Oh, my God, Dad. ‐♪♪ Papa Zany ♪♪ ‐Oh, my God, Dad.
126 00:04:24,831 00:04:27,300 JOHN: How much money did you invest in this project? JOHN: How much money did you invest in this project?
127 00:04:27,367 00:04:28,669 $200,000. $200,000.
128 00:04:28,735 00:04:30,370 Oh, no. Oh, no.
129 00:04:30,436 00:04:32,172 And what, I suppose you want me to try And what, I suppose you want me to try
130 00:04:32,238 00:04:33,473 to get the money back for you somehow? to get the money back for you somehow?
131 00:04:33,540 00:04:35,441 No, I made that money back in a week No, I made that money back in a week
132 00:04:35,509 00:04:38,444 once we monetized Lil Blurp's YouTube channel, once we monetized Lil Blurp's YouTube channel,
133 00:04:38,512 00:04:40,080 which is amazing, considering he dropped out of which is amazing, considering he dropped out of
134 00:04:40,146 00:04:42,716 Smallmouth Poly Prep just five months ago. Smallmouth Poly Prep just five months ago.
135 00:04:42,783 00:04:44,317 ‐I can't hear you‐‐what? ‐He dropped out of ‐I can't hear you‐‐what? ‐He dropped out of
136 00:04:44,384 00:04:47,120 ‐Smallmouth Poly Prep‐‐ ‐RIZ: Cut! ‐Smallmouth Poly Prep‐‐ ‐RIZ: Cut!
137 00:04:47,187 00:04:49,355 Who's fucking up my shoot, yo? Who's fucking up my shoot, yo?
138 00:04:49,422 00:04:51,825 Oh, yeesh, I'm sorry, Riz. My bad. Oh, yeesh, I'm sorry, Riz. My bad.
139 00:04:51,892 00:04:54,961 Boys, this is Ryan "Riz" McClorkle. Boys, this is Ryan "Riz" McClorkle.
140 00:04:55,028 00:04:56,863 ‐He's our director. ‐I'm on my grind, ‐He's our director. ‐I'm on my grind,
141 00:04:56,930 00:04:58,298 tryin' to make Lil Blurp blow up, tryin' to make Lil Blurp blow up,
142 00:04:58,364 00:05:00,567 so if you gonna keep talking, you gotta take it outside so if you gonna keep talking, you gotta take it outside
143 00:05:00,634 00:05:02,235 or just shut the fuck up. or just shut the fuck up.
144 00:05:02,302 00:05:03,670 Hey, that's‐‐that's my dad. Hey, that's‐‐that's my dad.
145 00:05:03,737 00:05:06,306 Yo, Riz. Hold these. Yo, Riz. Hold these.
146 00:05:06,372 00:05:10,076 No one disrespects Mr. Hunchman like that, you hear me? No one disrespects Mr. Hunchman like that, you hear me?
147 00:05:10,143 00:05:12,178 ‐Yeah. ‐He's the bank. ‐Yeah. ‐He's the bank.
148 00:05:12,245 00:05:14,314 ‐Okay. ‐He pays you! ‐Okay. ‐He pays you!
149 00:05:14,380 00:05:16,550 ‐Yeah. ‐So just on the professional, ‐Yeah. ‐So just on the professional,
150 00:05:16,617 00:05:18,919 ‐you let him by. ‐Sorry, Blurp. ‐you let him by. ‐Sorry, Blurp.
151 00:05:18,985 00:05:20,320 But more than that, But more than that,
152 00:05:20,386 00:05:22,188 he's that white dad I never had. he's that white dad I never had.
153 00:05:22,255 00:05:24,057 Straight up father figure. Straight up father figure.
154 00:05:24,124 00:05:25,659 Shout‐out to Mr. Hunchman! Shout‐out to Mr. Hunchman!
155 00:05:25,726 00:05:28,061 (laughs) It's all love. (laughs) It's all love.
156 00:05:28,128 00:05:31,197 Aw, you sounded magnificent up there, Blurp. Aw, you sounded magnificent up there, Blurp.
157 00:05:31,264 00:05:33,066 ‐Mm, did he? ‐Yo! ‐Mm, did he? ‐Yo!
158 00:05:33,133 00:05:35,902 Inspector John, the lonely detective! Inspector John, the lonely detective!
159 00:05:35,969 00:05:38,505 ‐You gonna help us? ‐Uh, actually I don't know ‐You gonna help us? ‐Uh, actually I don't know
160 00:05:38,572 00:05:39,673 why I'm here, Dad. why I'm here, Dad.
161 00:05:39,740 00:05:41,608 This is why I called you, bud. This is why I called you, bud.
162 00:05:41,675 00:05:43,610 There's been an incident on set. There's been an incident on set.
163 00:05:43,677 00:05:45,445 Do y'all fuck with Lil Dronk? Do y'all fuck with Lil Dronk?
164 00:05:45,512 00:05:47,781 I don't think we do. David? I don't think we do. David?
165 00:05:47,848 00:05:49,215 ‐Not to my knowledge. ‐Hmm. ‐Not to my knowledge. ‐Hmm.
166 00:05:49,282 00:05:52,018 LIL BLURP: He a rainbow dreadlock no‐talent bitch. LIL BLURP: He a rainbow dreadlock no‐talent bitch.
167 00:05:52,085 00:05:55,055 We see Little Dronk as a competitor We see Little Dronk as a competitor
168 00:05:55,121 00:05:56,823 in the mumble rap sector. in the mumble rap sector.
169 00:05:56,890 00:05:58,892 LIL BLURP: Lil Dronk shot a video with a lion. LIL BLURP: Lil Dronk shot a video with a lion.
170 00:05:58,959 00:06:01,795 He walkin' around with a damn lion. He walkin' around with a damn lion.
171 00:06:01,862 00:06:04,330 ‐Uh‐huh. ‐So I gotta up the game ‐Uh‐huh. ‐So I gotta up the game
172 00:06:04,397 00:06:05,866 ‐for my video. ‐Oh. ‐for my video. ‐Oh.
173 00:06:05,932 00:06:07,300 So guess what I got. So guess what I got.
174 00:06:07,367 00:06:09,703 Ten omelets! Ten omelets!
175 00:06:09,770 00:06:11,572 I'm sorry. Omelets? I'm sorry. Omelets?
176 00:06:11,638 00:06:13,073 Blurp, we've been over this. Blurp, we've been over this.
177 00:06:13,139 00:06:14,808 They're called ocelots. They're called ocelots.
178 00:06:14,875 00:06:16,743 (gasps) You have ten ocelots here? (gasps) You have ten ocelots here?
179 00:06:16,810 00:06:20,514 LIL BLURP: Yeah! Ocelots be like mini tigers. LIL BLURP: Yeah! Ocelots be like mini tigers.
180 00:06:20,581 00:06:22,616 We got 'em from some animal rescue. We got 'em from some animal rescue.
181 00:06:22,683 00:06:24,450 Rhode Island or some shit? Rhode Island or some shit?
182 00:06:24,518 00:06:26,687 It was right over the border in South Carolina. It was right over the border in South Carolina.
183 00:06:26,753 00:06:29,389 Right, I thought that was Rhode Island, Right, I thought that was Rhode Island,
184 00:06:29,455 00:06:32,693 but it was South Carolina. but it was South Carolina.
185 00:06:32,759 00:06:34,695 HUNCHMAN: Marinello Sisters Big Cat Rescue. HUNCHMAN: Marinello Sisters Big Cat Rescue.
186 00:06:34,761 00:06:37,363 People get them as pets, but they too wild, People get them as pets, but they too wild,
187 00:06:37,430 00:06:39,966 so they abandon them. It's sad. so they abandon them. It's sad.
188 00:06:40,033 00:06:41,301 It is sad, Blurp. It is sad, Blurp.
189 00:06:41,367 00:06:43,570 You two really get along, don't you? You two really get along, don't you?
190 00:06:43,637 00:06:47,207 So, it's finna be your boy, space hallway stuntin' So, it's finna be your boy, space hallway stuntin'
191 00:06:47,273 00:06:50,410 with ten little homies like we at Harris Teeter, with ten little homies like we at Harris Teeter,
192 00:06:50,476 00:06:53,113 also Tokyo Drift, sheezer. also Tokyo Drift, sheezer.
193 00:06:53,179 00:06:57,117 But this morning? They boosted, nah mean? But this morning? They boosted, nah mean?
194 00:06:57,183 00:06:58,084 (laughs) No. (laughs) No.
195 00:06:58,151 00:06:59,620 All right, let me figure this out. All right, let me figure this out.
196 00:06:59,686 00:07:02,956 You rented ten ocelots to put in a shopping cart. You rented ten ocelots to put in a shopping cart.
197 00:07:03,023 00:07:04,090 That's the Harris Teeter reference. That's the Harris Teeter reference.
198 00:07:04,157 00:07:04,991 (bell dings) (bell dings)
199 00:07:05,058 00:07:06,459 And push across that sky bridge‐‐ And push across that sky bridge‐‐
200 00:07:06,527 00:07:07,694 ‐space hallway‐‐ ‐(bell chimes) ‐space hallway‐‐ ‐(bell chimes)
201 00:07:07,761 00:07:09,029 in slow motion‐‐ "Tokyo Drift." in slow motion‐‐ "Tokyo Drift."
202 00:07:09,095 00:07:11,431 ‐(bell chimes) ‐But they've been stolen. ‐(bell chimes) ‐But they've been stolen.
203 00:07:11,497 00:07:13,634 ‐And you want us to find them. ‐(bell chimes rapidly) ‐And you want us to find them. ‐(bell chimes rapidly)
204 00:07:13,700 00:07:18,038 Oh, ho, ho, you a don, Detective John! Oh, ho, ho, you a don, Detective John!
205 00:07:18,104 00:07:20,106 ‐Does that rhyme? ‐Putting that together was ‐Does that rhyme? ‐Putting that together was
206 00:07:20,173 00:07:22,342 honestly the best detective work I've ever done in my life. honestly the best detective work I've ever done in my life.
207 00:07:22,408 00:07:24,010 Can you help us, son? Please. Can you help us, son? Please.
208 00:07:24,077 00:07:26,847 This video is a crucial step for Little Blurp. This video is a crucial step for Little Blurp.
209 00:07:26,913 00:07:28,749 (sighs) Fine, Dad. (sighs) Fine, Dad.
210 00:07:28,815 00:07:31,618 Take us to the scene of the crime. Take us to the scene of the crime.
211 00:07:31,685 00:07:32,919 DAVID: Okay, here's what we know. DAVID: Okay, here's what we know.
212 00:07:32,986 00:07:35,121 At 7:00 a. m., the ocelots were locked up At 7:00 a. m., the ocelots were locked up
213 00:07:35,188 00:07:37,123 under the care of Daisy Marinello under the care of Daisy Marinello
214 00:07:37,190 00:07:39,125 of Marinello Sisters Animal Rescue. of Marinello Sisters Animal Rescue.
215 00:07:39,192 00:07:41,595 After a crew breakfast that was around 8:15, After a crew breakfast that was around 8:15,
216 00:07:41,662 00:07:44,097 Daisy says she feels "sleepy." Daisy says she feels "sleepy."
217 00:07:44,164 00:07:45,498 She disappears, She disappears,
218 00:07:45,566 00:07:48,502 and next thing you know, all the ocelots are gone. and next thing you know, all the ocelots are gone.
219 00:07:48,569 00:07:50,504 Oh, my God, this is terrible. Oh, my God, this is terrible.
220 00:07:50,571 00:07:52,372 I mean, it's really shameful. I mean, it's really shameful.
221 00:07:52,438 00:07:53,774 It's not that bad. It's just ocelots. It's not that bad. It's just ocelots.
222 00:07:53,840 00:07:56,176 No, no, this, I'm watching this Lil Dronk video. No, no, this, I'm watching this Lil Dronk video.
223 00:07:56,242 00:07:57,310 DAVID: Oh. DAVID: Oh.
224 00:07:57,377 00:07:58,745 JOHN: I mean, it's an insult to rap music. JOHN: I mean, it's an insult to rap music.
225 00:07:58,812 00:07:59,980 What happened to lyrics? What happened to lyrics?
226 00:08:00,046 00:08:01,582 ‐To craftsmanship? ‐Yeah, I know. ‐To craftsmanship? ‐Yeah, I know.
227 00:08:01,648 00:08:04,117 I know, nobody under the age of 30 can rap for shit. I know, nobody under the age of 30 can rap for shit.
228 00:08:04,184 00:08:06,553 ‐Come at me, teenagers. ‐JOHN: I just don't get it. ‐Come at me, teenagers. ‐JOHN: I just don't get it.
229 00:08:06,620 00:08:07,854 I know that after my mom died, I know that after my mom died,
230 00:08:07,921 00:08:09,389 Dad and I didn't have much in common, Dad and I didn't have much in common,
231 00:08:09,455 00:08:13,359 but I didn't expect him to replace me with a secret son, but I didn't expect him to replace me with a secret son,
232 00:08:13,426 00:08:14,561 especially not one with the words especially not one with the words
233 00:08:14,628 00:08:16,897 "fuck life, eat pie" tattooed on his tongue. "fuck life, eat pie" tattooed on his tongue.
234 00:08:16,963 00:08:18,599 I understand. It's heavy and it's weird, I understand. It's heavy and it's weird,
235 00:08:18,665 00:08:20,033 but look on the bright side. but look on the bright side.
236 00:08:20,100 00:08:23,136 A rapper is paying us money to hunt ocelots A rapper is paying us money to hunt ocelots
237 00:08:23,203 00:08:25,672 in the very same mall where I once got busted in the very same mall where I once got busted
238 00:08:25,739 00:08:28,341 for shoplifting KRS‐One cassettes. for shoplifting KRS‐One cassettes.
239 00:08:29,175 00:08:31,444 You know what? That was a good pep talk. You know what? That was a good pep talk.
240 00:08:31,512 00:08:32,946 ‐Yeah, I know. ‐Okay, let's do this. ‐Yeah, I know. ‐Okay, let's do this.
241 00:08:33,013 00:08:35,115 Ocelots‐‐highly solitary, natural climbers... Ocelots‐‐highly solitary, natural climbers...
242 00:08:35,181 00:08:38,552 If my guess is right‐‐ and it is‐‐they went up If my guess is right‐‐ and it is‐‐they went up
243 00:08:38,619 00:08:40,120 that open air duct shaft and split up. that open air duct shaft and split up.
244 00:08:40,186 00:08:42,322 DAVID: (laughs) Are we going up in an air duct? DAVID: (laughs) Are we going up in an air duct?
245 00:08:42,388 00:08:43,557 ‐Yes. ‐Hell yes. ‐Yes. ‐Hell yes.
246 00:08:43,624 00:08:45,692 Ocelot hunting montage? Ocelot hunting montage?
247 00:08:45,759 00:08:47,227 Bring that beat back! Bring that beat back!
248 00:08:47,293 00:08:50,063 (funky music) (funky music)
249 00:08:50,130 00:08:56,537 ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪
250 00:09:17,858 00:09:21,662 LIL BLURP: Yo, that's amazing! LIL BLURP: Yo, that's amazing!
251 00:09:21,728 00:09:23,997 But I only count nine omelets. But I only count nine omelets.
252 00:09:24,064 00:09:26,567 Well, that's why I brought you here, Lil Blurp. Well, that's why I brought you here, Lil Blurp.
253 00:09:26,633 00:09:30,771 Because, unlike most cats, ocelots are gifted swimmers. Because, unlike most cats, ocelots are gifted swimmers.
254 00:09:30,837 00:09:33,507 Thank you for finding my babies! Thank you for finding my babies!
255 00:09:33,574 00:09:35,642 I still don't know why I passed out. I still don't know why I passed out.
256 00:09:35,709 00:09:37,611 Well, let me guess, Daisy. Well, let me guess, Daisy.
257 00:09:37,678 00:09:40,747 Was your breakfast smoothie strangely sweet this morning? Was your breakfast smoothie strangely sweet this morning?
258 00:09:40,814 00:09:43,116 Yes! How did you know? Yes! How did you know?
259 00:09:43,183 00:09:45,986 I didn't just come here to stuff pillowcases with ocelots. I didn't just come here to stuff pillowcases with ocelots.
260 00:09:46,052 00:09:47,888 I came here to solve a mystery. I came here to solve a mystery.
261 00:09:47,954 00:09:49,623 Someone wanted you out of the way Someone wanted you out of the way
262 00:09:49,690 00:09:51,057 and those ocelots gone, and those ocelots gone,
263 00:09:51,124 00:09:53,426 because someone wanted this video to fail. because someone wanted this video to fail.
264 00:09:53,493 00:09:55,161 Oh, for Pete's sake! Oh, for Pete's sake!
265 00:09:55,228 00:09:58,932 Lil Blurp, before David and I went on our "lil safari," Lil Blurp, before David and I went on our "lil safari,"
266 00:09:58,999 00:10:00,567 I did some research into the work I did some research into the work
267 00:10:00,634 00:10:02,002 of your rival, Lil Dronk. of your rival, Lil Dronk.
268 00:10:02,068 00:10:03,670 Do you happen to know who directed Do you happen to know who directed
269 00:10:03,737 00:10:05,371 that video of him with the lion? that video of him with the lion?
270 00:10:05,438 00:10:07,941 I do not happen to know. I do not happen to know.
271 00:10:08,008 00:10:10,343 Well, I checked the credits. It's Riz. Well, I checked the credits. It's Riz.
272 00:10:10,410 00:10:13,514 ‐He's also Lil Dronk's manager. ‐(all gasping) ‐He's also Lil Dronk's manager. ‐(all gasping)
273 00:10:13,580 00:10:15,782 What? Riz works for Lil Dronk? What? Riz works for Lil Dronk?
274 00:10:15,849 00:10:17,684 JOHN: And, Daisy, your breakfast smoothie JOHN: And, Daisy, your breakfast smoothie
275 00:10:17,751 00:10:19,219 was actually Lean, was actually Lean,
276 00:10:19,285 00:10:22,556 a potent mix of codeine, promethazine, and candy. a potent mix of codeine, promethazine, and candy.
277 00:10:22,623 00:10:24,190 What? What?
278 00:10:24,257 00:10:26,326 You said it was flaxseed and kale! You said it was flaxseed and kale!
279 00:10:26,392 00:10:29,229 Riz drugged you, so he could release the ocelots Riz drugged you, so he could release the ocelots
280 00:10:29,295 00:10:30,631 and sabotage the video. and sabotage the video.
281 00:10:30,697 00:10:33,133 Yo, Riz, what's your problem? Yo, Riz, what's your problem?
282 00:10:33,199 00:10:35,702 My problem is you should've hired me as your manager, My problem is you should've hired me as your manager,
283 00:10:35,769 00:10:38,338 not this old‐ass, khaki‐wearing motherfucker. not this old‐ass, khaki‐wearing motherfucker.
284 00:10:38,404 00:10:39,773 Hey, watch it, sir. Hey, watch it, sir.
285 00:10:39,840 00:10:42,275 At least Mr. Hunchman act his age. At least Mr. Hunchman act his age.
286 00:10:42,342 00:10:44,244 You 35 years old! You 35 years old!
287 00:10:44,310 00:10:46,212 Wear a necktie, damn. Wear a necktie, damn.
288 00:10:46,279 00:10:47,413 You tell him, son. You tell him, son.
289 00:10:47,480 00:10:48,882 I‐I mean, Blurp. I‐I mean, Blurp.
290 00:10:48,949 00:10:50,784 Fuck all y'all. I'm out. Fuck all y'all. I'm out.
291 00:10:50,851 00:10:52,519 RIZ: Peace! RIZ: Peace!
292 00:10:52,586 00:10:54,254 Deploy the ocelots. Deploy the ocelots.
293 00:10:54,320 00:10:57,524 ‐Go, go, go, my babies! ‐(ocelots snarling) ‐Go, go, go, my babies! ‐(ocelots snarling)
294 00:10:57,591 00:10:58,992 ‐Feast! ‐RIZ: Ah, oh! ‐Feast! ‐RIZ: Ah, oh!
295 00:10:59,059 00:11:03,129 Ooh, that is not gonna end well for Rizzy Fannypack Face. Ooh, that is not gonna end well for Rizzy Fannypack Face.
296 00:11:03,196 00:11:04,931 ‐Mm, they are bloodthirsty. ‐(ocelots growling) ‐Mm, they are bloodthirsty. ‐(ocelots growling)
297 00:11:04,998 00:11:07,668 Mr. H, will you direct the rest of the video? Mr. H, will you direct the rest of the video?
298 00:11:07,734 00:11:09,970 (gasps) Yes... (gasps) Yes...
299 00:11:10,036 00:11:11,938 if you do it my way. if you do it my way.
300 00:11:12,005 00:11:12,906 LIL BLURP: ♪♪ Hey, Papa Zany ♪♪ LIL BLURP: ♪♪ Hey, Papa Zany ♪♪
301 00:11:12,973 00:11:15,275 DAVID: I gotta say, Mr. H, DAVID: I gotta say, Mr. H,
302 00:11:15,341 00:11:17,844 ‐this is an epic shot. ‐Thanks, David. ‐this is an epic shot. ‐Thanks, David.
303 00:11:17,911 00:11:20,146 I was always a fan of Busby Berkeley. I was always a fan of Busby Berkeley.
304 00:11:20,213 00:11:22,849 Say, Dad, I think I solved another mystery today. Say, Dad, I think I solved another mystery today.
305 00:11:22,916 00:11:24,184 What's that, son? What's that, son?
306 00:11:24,250 00:11:25,719 No, no, turn around. Look at the monitor. No, no, turn around. Look at the monitor.
307 00:11:25,786 00:11:27,287 This is‐‐ this is going to be emotional. This is‐‐ this is going to be emotional.
308 00:11:27,353 00:11:29,289 ‐Okay. ‐I get it. ‐Okay. ‐I get it.
309 00:11:29,355 00:11:31,558 You see Lil Blurp as a son because he needs you, You see Lil Blurp as a son because he needs you,
310 00:11:31,625 00:11:33,193 and, even though you're my dad and, even though you're my dad
311 00:11:33,259 00:11:35,529 and I love you, technically, and I love you, technically,
312 00:11:35,596 00:11:37,430 I never really needed you. I never really needed you.
313 00:11:37,497 00:11:39,700 HUNCHMAN: The young man has tattoos on his face HUNCHMAN: The young man has tattoos on his face
314 00:11:39,766 00:11:41,902 and drinks God‐knows‐what to avoid reality. and drinks God‐knows‐what to avoid reality.
315 00:11:41,968 00:11:43,804 I just want him to be okay. I just want him to be okay.
316 00:11:43,870 00:11:45,539 I hope that doesn't hurt you. I hope that doesn't hurt you.
317 00:11:45,606 00:11:49,142 No, it's...fine, actually, now that I understand. No, it's...fine, actually, now that I understand.
318 00:11:49,209 00:11:51,377 MEG: Excuse me, Mr. Hunchman? MEG: Excuse me, Mr. Hunchman?
319 00:11:51,444 00:11:52,412 My name's Meg. My name's Meg.
320 00:11:52,478 00:11:54,480 ‐Could I get a selfie with you? ‐Sure. ‐Could I get a selfie with you? ‐Sure.
321 00:11:54,548 00:11:56,416 (quietly) What's a "selfie"? (quietly) What's a "selfie"?
322 00:11:56,482 00:11:58,284 (vaudeville music) (vaudeville music)