# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:07,490 00:00:09,066 So this is Regus. So this is Regus.
2 00:00:09,090 00:00:11,776 He had a torrid love affair with Cecilia. He had a torrid love affair with Cecilia.
3 00:00:11,800 00:00:16,176 But don't tell Jeanine, 'cause she doesn't know yet. But don't tell Jeanine, 'cause she doesn't know yet.
4 00:00:16,200 00:00:18,176 Um, I know what you're thinking. Um, I know what you're thinking.
5 00:00:18,200 00:00:21,376 These two ducks, a mallard and a blue bill. These two ducks, a mallard and a blue bill.
6 00:00:21,400 00:00:24,446 Yeah, the sex was crazy. Yeah, the sex was crazy.
7 00:00:24,470 00:00:25,656 Lonely? Lonely?
8 00:00:25,680 00:00:30,056 Uh, no, no. Not at all. Uh, no, no. Not at all.
9 00:00:30,080 00:00:33,326 To be honest, someone else around here would really just To be honest, someone else around here would really just
10 00:00:33,350 00:00:36,066 you know, get in the way. you know, get in the way.
11 00:00:36,090 00:00:40,666 This is Lois. She's deeply entrenched in a pyramid scheme. This is Lois. She's deeply entrenched in a pyramid scheme.
12 00:00:40,690 00:00:44,066 So yeah, I just, uh... I really, honestly, I got things So yeah, I just, uh... I really, honestly, I got things
13 00:00:44,090 00:00:47,536 set up pretty much exactly the way I want them. set up pretty much exactly the way I want them.
14 00:00:47,560 00:00:49,000 Just by myself. Just by myself.
15 00:00:54,440 00:01:04,550 ♪ ♪
16 00:01:11,050 00:01:13,136 Registration packet for the competition Registration packet for the competition
17 00:01:13,160 00:01:14,736 is usually here by now. is usually here by now.
18 00:01:14,760 00:01:17,906 It's got to arrive today! It's got to arrive today!
19 00:01:17,930 00:01:22,206 I'm not gonna get screwed by a technicality. I'm not gonna get screwed by a technicality.
20 00:01:22,230 00:01:24,846 It's not exactly rocket science, It's not exactly rocket science,
21 00:01:24,870 00:01:27,576 organizing a carving competition. organizing a carving competition.
22 00:01:34,040 00:01:35,540 About damn time. About damn time.
23 00:01:44,220 00:01:45,820 What? What?
24 00:01:46,620 00:01:48,460 God damn it! God damn it!
25 00:01:51,130 00:01:54,336 There's something fishy going on. There's something fishy going on.
26 00:01:54,360 00:01:56,946 And I'm going to get to the bottom of it. And I'm going to get to the bottom of it.
27 00:01:56,970 00:02:00,640 No one jerks around Frank Brunswick. No one jerks around Frank Brunswick.
28 00:02:02,510 00:02:09,886 ♪ ♪
29 00:02:09,910 00:02:11,486 So, how's she float? So, how's she float?
30 00:02:11,510 00:02:12,896 Float? Float?
31 00:02:12,920 00:02:14,696 Yeah, how's she sit in the water? Yeah, how's she sit in the water?
32 00:02:14,720 00:02:16,966 - It has to float? - Yes, it has to float. - It has to float? - Yes, it has to float.
33 00:02:16,990 00:02:18,736 I didn't think it needed to do that. I didn't think it needed to do that.
34 00:02:18,760 00:02:20,966 "Floating decorative." What did you think it meant? "Floating decorative." What did you think it meant?
35 00:02:20,990 00:02:22,236 To be honest, the rule book is pretty dense. To be honest, the rule book is pretty dense.
36 00:02:22,260 00:02:23,336 I didn't really read it. I didn't really read it.
37 00:02:23,360 00:02:26,176 Well, loons are special, because unlike ducks, Well, loons are special, because unlike ducks,
38 00:02:26,200 00:02:28,106 their bones are solid, not hollow. their bones are solid, not hollow.
39 00:02:28,130 00:02:31,076 So they always sit a little lower in the water. So they always sit a little lower in the water.
40 00:02:31,100 00:02:33,516 Getting that precise, that's a challenge. Getting that precise, that's a challenge.
41 00:02:36,010 00:02:39,870 I don't know, Rhett. That sounds like a lot more work. I don't know, Rhett. That sounds like a lot more work.
42 00:02:41,210 00:02:43,526 I think I bit off more than I can chew. I think I bit off more than I can chew.
43 00:02:43,550 00:02:45,456 Hey. Don't sweat it. Hey. Don't sweat it.
44 00:02:45,480 00:02:47,126 Sometimes you get lucky Sometimes you get lucky
45 00:02:47,150 00:02:48,696 and they sit low enough in the water straight away. and they sit low enough in the water straight away.
46 00:02:48,720 00:02:50,890 - Yeah? - Yeah, she's a beaut. - Yeah? - Yeah, she's a beaut.
47 00:03:00,260 00:03:03,206 Are you wearing a denim shirt, and a denim jacket, Are you wearing a denim shirt, and a denim jacket,
48 00:03:03,230 00:03:04,806 and a denim kerchief? and a denim kerchief?
49 00:03:04,830 00:03:06,216 That's a lot of denim, honey. That's a lot of denim, honey.
50 00:03:06,240 00:03:07,946 The judges care about presentation. The judges care about presentation.
51 00:03:07,970 00:03:10,286 I think you're probably overthinking this. I think you're probably overthinking this.
52 00:03:10,310 00:03:14,316 My name is Amandeep Singh, and I present to you, the judges. My name is Amandeep Singh, and I present to you, the judges.
53 00:03:14,340 00:03:15,880 I'm judging. I'm judging.
54 00:03:17,850 00:03:20,496 The blue bill. The blue bill.
55 00:03:20,520 00:03:21,950 Tah-dah! Tah-dah!
56 00:03:23,820 00:03:26,596 Why... why isn't he... it yellow? Why... why isn't he... it yellow?
57 00:03:26,620 00:03:27,766 Yellow? Yellow?
58 00:03:27,790 00:03:29,306 Huh? Like a bath time ducky ducky? Huh? Like a bath time ducky ducky?
59 00:03:29,330 00:03:32,706 It is not that kind of "quack quack" ducky ducky, man! It is not that kind of "quack quack" ducky ducky, man!
60 00:03:32,730 00:03:34,236 That's all it is? That's all it is?
61 00:03:34,260 00:03:36,276 Not by a longshot. Not by a longshot.
62 00:03:36,300 00:03:39,270 Ladies and gentlemen, the blue bill. Ladies and gentlemen, the blue bill.
63 00:03:45,940 00:03:47,856 Oh... Oh...
64 00:03:47,880 00:03:49,326 Is it supposed to do that? Is it supposed to do that?
65 00:03:49,350 00:03:51,656 - Oh no. - It looks sick. - Oh no. - It looks sick.
66 00:03:51,680 00:03:53,856 No... no, my life is over. No... no, my life is over.
67 00:03:53,880 00:03:57,496 Amu, no. Amu, no.
68 00:03:57,520 00:03:59,366 It's supposed to float! It's supposed to float!
69 00:03:59,390 00:04:01,366 Aw, don't worry so much, hm? Aw, don't worry so much, hm?
70 00:04:01,390 00:04:05,876 I'm sure you can put some little duck floaters on it, I'm sure you can put some little duck floaters on it,
71 00:04:05,900 00:04:07,776 - you know? Like those... - What? - you know? Like those... - What?
72 00:04:07,800 00:04:09,800 Wrap it in a noodle. Wrap it in a noodle.
73 00:04:14,670 00:04:17,146 100%? 100%?
74 00:04:17,170 00:04:20,786 This is critical to our event. This is critical to our event.
75 00:04:20,810 00:04:24,610 Great, thank you very much for your professionalism, Griffin. Great, thank you very much for your professionalism, Griffin.
76 00:04:26,280 00:04:28,796 And that is a green light on using their kitchenette! And that is a green light on using their kitchenette!
77 00:04:28,820 00:04:30,766 Boy, that could have gotten ugly. Boy, that could have gotten ugly.
78 00:04:30,790 00:04:32,266 Oh, tell me about it! Oh, tell me about it!
79 00:04:32,290 00:04:33,966 You know, sometimes I think it would be easier You know, sometimes I think it would be easier
80 00:04:33,990 00:04:36,936 to put a man on the moon than to organize this competition. to put a man on the moon than to organize this competition.
81 00:04:36,960 00:04:39,076 Amen. Amen.
82 00:04:39,100 00:04:40,260 Oh. Oh.
83 00:04:42,300 00:04:44,106 Oh, Frank? Oh, Frank?
84 00:04:44,130 00:04:45,976 Great to see you unannounced. Great to see you unannounced.
85 00:04:46,000 00:04:48,716 Save it. What are you playing at, Barb? Save it. What are you playing at, Barb?
86 00:04:48,740 00:04:50,786 - Pardon me? - I haven't received - Pardon me? - I haven't received
87 00:04:50,810 00:04:53,456 my registration packet in the mail yet! my registration packet in the mail yet!
88 00:04:53,480 00:04:56,586 I don't much appreciate this cloak and dagger act. I don't much appreciate this cloak and dagger act.
89 00:04:56,610 00:04:58,186 What's going on? What's going on?
90 00:04:58,210 00:05:02,466 Oh, Frank, no. We've gone online this year. We're paperless. Oh, Frank, no. We've gone online this year. We're paperless.
91 00:05:02,490 00:05:03,666 Where's your phone? Where's your phone?
92 00:05:03,690 00:05:05,766 My phone? My phone?
93 00:05:05,790 00:05:08,266 My phone's at my house, plugged into the wall. My phone's at my house, plugged into the wall.
94 00:05:08,290 00:05:09,736 Right. Right.
95 00:05:09,760 00:05:12,936 Well, uh, why don't you come on in Well, uh, why don't you come on in
96 00:05:12,960 00:05:14,336 and I'll show you how to register. and I'll show you how to register.
97 00:05:14,360 00:05:17,806 Well, it's the least you could do, I think. Well, it's the least you could do, I think.
98 00:05:17,830 00:05:19,616 Nice to see you, Frank. Nice to see you, Frank.
99 00:05:19,640 00:05:21,040 Yeah. Yeah.
100 00:05:23,370 00:05:24,746 Here's my tablet. Here's my tablet.
101 00:05:24,770 00:05:26,856 You can take a look at that if you want. You can take a look at that if you want.
102 00:05:35,280 00:05:37,696 Who are you? Who are you?
103 00:05:37,720 00:05:39,136 No! No!
104 00:05:39,160 00:05:46,376 ♪ ♪
105 00:05:46,400 00:05:47,976 Who are you?! Who are you?!
106 00:05:48,000 00:05:49,846 A merganser? A merganser?
107 00:05:49,870 00:05:52,376 A pintail?! A pintail?!
108 00:05:52,400 00:05:54,646 American wigeon? American wigeon?
109 00:05:54,670 00:05:56,446 Canvasback?! Canvasback?!
110 00:05:56,470 00:05:59,356 A Northern shoveler? A Northern shoveler?
111 00:06:03,010 00:06:06,256 Show yourself! Show yourself!
112 00:06:06,280 00:06:09,326 ♪ ♪
113 00:06:16,430 00:06:17,606 Everything okay in here? Everything okay in here?
114 00:06:17,630 00:06:19,976 Got a, uh, noise complaint. Got a, uh, noise complaint.
115 00:06:20,000 00:06:23,676 No, everything's not okay, officer. No, everything's not okay, officer.
116 00:06:23,700 00:06:27,576 I have... I have...
117 00:06:27,600 00:06:29,000 Carver's block. Carver's block.
118 00:06:34,840 00:06:36,880 You try yelling at it? You try yelling at it?
119 00:06:43,890 00:06:45,266 - In the tub! - Whoa, Rhett! - In the tub! - Whoa, Rhett!
120 00:06:45,290 00:06:47,236 Float, check. Sorry, Marge. Float, check. Sorry, Marge.
121 00:06:47,260 00:06:50,736 There's nothing in there I haven't seen before. There's nothing in there I haven't seen before.
122 00:06:50,760 00:06:52,776 I got this, okay. Let me handle it. I got this, okay. Let me handle it.
123 00:06:52,800 00:06:57,776 Uh, babe, we are just wondering if you might see where Uh, babe, we are just wondering if you might see where
124 00:06:57,800 00:06:59,446 the water line is when it floats. the water line is when it floats.
125 00:06:59,470 00:07:01,716 - Are you serious? - Very. - Are you serious? - Very.
126 00:07:01,740 00:07:04,246 Rhett, Rhett... Rhett, Rhett...
127 00:07:04,270 00:07:05,510 Babe? Babe?
128 00:07:12,350 00:07:14,896 Barely breaks the surface. Barely breaks the surface.
129 00:07:14,920 00:07:17,350 Thank you, useful information. Thank you, useful information.
130 00:07:19,160 00:07:22,790 Did I, uh, mention you're beautiful? Did I, uh, mention you're beautiful?
131 00:07:24,030 00:07:26,476 What kind of a duck sinks? What kind of a duck sinks?
132 00:07:26,500 00:07:30,130 Stupid, stupid, stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!
133 00:07:37,310 00:07:39,756 There is so much of this crap. There is so much of this crap.
134 00:07:39,780 00:07:42,886 Just to make it edible, you have to add a lot of spices. Just to make it edible, you have to add a lot of spices.
135 00:07:42,910 00:07:45,896 But he insists on eating Canadian cuisine But he insists on eating Canadian cuisine
136 00:07:45,920 00:07:47,226 when he's in training. when he's in training.
137 00:07:47,250 00:07:50,550 I just want to get rid of it. I just want to get rid of it.
138 00:08:01,930 00:08:04,530 You can still see it, can't you? You can still see it, can't you?
139 00:08:06,070 00:08:08,070 I'll have to bury it. I'll have to bury it.
140 00:08:12,180 00:08:15,386 Skipping straight ahead to our golden years Skipping straight ahead to our golden years
141 00:08:15,410 00:08:17,656 is not what I had in mind. is not what I had in mind.
142 00:08:17,680 00:08:21,996 He acts like a retiree and he's not even thirty. He acts like a retiree and he's not even thirty.
143 00:08:22,020 00:08:24,050 Is that healthy? Is that healthy?
144 00:08:26,090 00:08:29,306 No... he doesn't engage with the world. No... he doesn't engage with the world.
145 00:08:29,330 00:08:31,406 Certainly not our relationship. Certainly not our relationship.
146 00:08:31,430 00:08:32,936 No. No.
147 00:08:32,960 00:08:35,606 You know, I will tell you this much. You know, I will tell you this much.
148 00:08:35,630 00:08:38,600 I am not going to that competition. I am not going to that competition.
149 00:08:47,610 00:08:49,386 Not hungry. Not hungry.
150 00:08:49,410 00:08:52,325 You have to eat something, hm? You've been carving all day. You have to eat something, hm? You've been carving all day.
151 00:09:00,920 00:09:02,420 Not bad. Not bad.
152 00:09:03,490 00:09:05,330 Not bad at all. Not bad at all.
153 00:09:06,530 00:09:08,060 It's fusion. It's fusion.
154 00:09:09,570 00:09:11,470 The best of both worlds. The best of both worlds.
155 00:09:15,640 00:09:17,240 Fusion. Fusion.
156 00:09:19,480 00:09:21,056 Hey, can you get me some chutney? Hey, can you get me some chutney?
157 00:09:21,080 00:09:23,526 Look right next to you. Look right next to you.
158 00:09:23,550 00:09:24,726 Oh, she's right. Oh, she's right.
159 00:09:24,750 00:09:27,056 At least get me a spoon. At least get me a spoon.
160 00:09:27,080 00:09:29,526 Carve on! Carve on!
161 00:09:29,550 00:09:33,396 ♪ ♪
162 00:09:33,420 00:09:36,606 If you give me just one more duck, If you give me just one more duck,
163 00:09:36,630 00:09:39,236 I swear I'll never carve another again. I swear I'll never carve another again.
164 00:09:39,260 00:09:43,006 I swear. Just one more work of art. I swear. Just one more work of art.
165 00:09:43,030 00:09:46,076 And then I'll turn to wooden spoons, And then I'll turn to wooden spoons,
166 00:09:46,100 00:09:48,816 or cottage signs. or cottage signs.
167 00:09:48,840 00:09:51,670 Or even pen turning. Or even pen turning.
168 00:09:56,450 00:10:06,350 ♪ ♪
169 00:10:10,730 00:10:13,360 Oh, that wasn't right. Oh, that wasn't right.
170 00:10:14,730 00:10:16,600 Neither is that. Neither is that.
171 00:10:34,680 00:10:35,996 God... God...
172 00:10:36,020 00:10:38,596 What? Hey, where'd it all go? What? Hey, where'd it all go?
173 00:10:38,620 00:10:40,796 You swiped to the next window, just swipe back. You swiped to the next window, just swipe back.
174 00:10:40,820 00:10:42,296 How do you swipe?! How do you swipe?!
175 00:10:42,320 00:10:44,266 You know, Frank, I don't mind typing it for you. You know, Frank, I don't mind typing it for you.
176 00:10:44,290 00:10:46,136 I can actually easily do it myself. I can actually easily do it myself.
177 00:10:46,160 00:10:47,676 And have you steal my identity? And have you steal my identity?
178 00:10:47,700 00:10:50,076 No thank you, Barb. No thank you, Barb.
179 00:10:54,070 00:10:55,746 Hey, it's all typed in. Hey, it's all typed in.
180 00:10:55,770 00:10:58,756 All right! So now you just press submit... All right! So now you just press submit...
181 00:10:58,780 00:11:00,456 Are you sure this is all okay? Are you sure this is all okay?
182 00:11:00,480 00:11:02,486 Yes, Frank. I'm certain. Yes, Frank. I'm certain.
183 00:11:02,510 00:11:03,640 Okay. Okay.
184 00:11:04,650 00:11:06,510 Hah! Done. Hah! Done.
185 00:11:08,180 00:11:10,826 Well then, congratulations, Frank Brunswick! Well then, congratulations, Frank Brunswick!
186 00:11:10,850 00:11:13,496 You are now officially registered for the Northern... You are now officially registered for the Northern...
187 00:11:13,520 00:11:17,530 Don't patronize me with your carnival barker routine, Dennis. Don't patronize me with your carnival barker routine, Dennis.
188 00:11:20,600 00:11:22,160 Okay, sorry. Okay, sorry.
189 00:11:24,300 00:11:26,676 The Falcated duck. The Falcated duck.
190 00:11:26,700 00:11:30,716 Indigenous to the land of the five rivers, Punjab. Indigenous to the land of the five rivers, Punjab.
191 00:11:30,740 00:11:32,586 Just like your boy. Just like your boy.
192 00:11:32,610 00:11:34,316 A Punjabi bird. A Punjabi bird.
193 00:11:34,340 00:11:36,856 Actually, a very handsome Punjabi bird Actually, a very handsome Punjabi bird
194 00:11:36,880 00:11:38,656 made into a Canadian art form. made into a Canadian art form.
195 00:11:38,680 00:11:42,126 The best of both worlds. Fusion! The best of both worlds. Fusion!
196 00:11:42,150 00:11:45,026 Fusion, fusion, fusion. Fusion, fusion, fusion.
197 00:11:45,050 00:11:46,690 All my idea. All my idea.
198 00:11:48,190 00:11:49,736 Of course I knew what I was doing. Of course I knew what I was doing.
199 00:11:49,760 00:11:52,430 The other duck was boring as hell. The other duck was boring as hell.
200 00:11:54,260 00:11:57,246 This is my competition bird this year. This is my competition bird this year.
201 00:11:57,270 00:12:00,216 Her name is Mary Sue. Her name is Mary Sue.
202 00:12:00,240 00:12:02,146 She's my best work yet. She's my best work yet.
203 00:12:02,170 00:12:04,270 Shh, yeah. That's okay. Shh, yeah. That's okay.
204 00:12:07,710 00:12:12,596 My name is Mary Sue. I'm just a good old-fashioned duck. My name is Mary Sue. I'm just a good old-fashioned duck.
205 00:12:12,620 00:12:16,826 My idea of a perfect time is a stranger on a park bench My idea of a perfect time is a stranger on a park bench
206 00:12:16,850 00:12:19,796 with a loaf of bread and some time to kill. with a loaf of bread and some time to kill.
207 00:12:19,820 00:12:22,436 People ask me all the time if I'm lonely. People ask me all the time if I'm lonely.
208 00:12:22,460 00:12:25,506 I have plenty of friends, but... I have plenty of friends, but...
209 00:12:25,530 00:12:28,036 It would be nice sometimes to meet that one special friend It would be nice sometimes to meet that one special friend
210 00:12:28,060 00:12:31,746 who you want to spend all your time with, who you want to spend all your time with,
211 00:12:31,770 00:12:33,730 before it's too late. before it's too late.
212 00:12:36,640 00:12:39,586 She's a real gas, isn't she? She's a real gas, isn't she?
213 00:12:39,610 00:12:42,116 Oh... Oh...
214 00:12:42,140 00:12:43,856 ♪ Yo, I'm madder than cray ♪ ♪ Yo, I'm madder than cray ♪
215 00:12:43,880 00:12:45,456 ♪ I caught my tongue, I flatter your brain ♪ ♪ I caught my tongue, I flatter your brain ♪
216 00:12:45,480 00:12:46,926 ♪ No matter the range ♪ ♪ No matter the range ♪
217 00:12:46,950 00:12:48,796 ♪ I break your dollars into loose change ♪ ♪ I break your dollars into loose change ♪
218 00:12:48,820 00:12:50,666 ♪ You're rhyming two planes like I rhyme with two brains ♪ ♪ You're rhyming two planes like I rhyme with two brains ♪
219 00:12:50,690 00:12:53,536 ♪ I got everybody saying my shit like I was new slang ♪ ♪ I got everybody saying my shit like I was new slang ♪
220 00:12:53,560 00:12:55,936 ♪ The empire come with new things for you to palm ♪ ♪ The empire come with new things for you to palm ♪
221 00:12:55,960 00:12:58,066 ♪ Like a 12-gauge we be killing you chumps ♪ ♪ Like a 12-gauge we be killing you chumps ♪
222 00:12:58,090 00:12:59,606 ♪ For your skull, full of lumps ♪ ♪ For your skull, full of lumps ♪
223 00:12:59,630 00:13:01,536 ♪ When the song 'bout to approach ya ♪ ♪ When the song 'bout to approach ya ♪
224 00:13:01,560 00:13:03,076 ♪ Protect his own proper ♪ ♪ Protect his own proper ♪
225 00:13:03,100 00:13:05,006 ♪ Steal the show like the Phantom of the Opera ♪ ♪ Steal the show like the Phantom of the Opera ♪
226 00:13:05,030 00:13:06,946 ♪ Order two vodkas to get my head spinning ♪ ♪ Order two vodkas to get my head spinning ♪
227 00:13:06,970 00:13:08,746 ♪ Like propellers on helicopters ♪ ♪ Like propellers on helicopters ♪
228 00:13:08,770 00:13:11,016 ♪ Fuck the coppers, no, the pigs will never catch me ♪ ♪ Fuck the coppers, no, the pigs will never catch me ♪
229 00:13:11,040 00:13:13,686 ♪ After I paid off the sheriff and the deputy ♪ ♪ After I paid off the sheriff and the deputy ♪
230 00:13:13,710 00:13:15,356 ♪ You might get spotted if you stand next to me ♪ ♪ You might get spotted if you stand next to me ♪
231 00:13:15,380 00:13:16,826 ♪ And try to rock it ♪ ♪ And try to rock it ♪
232 00:13:16,850 00:13:18,896 ♪ You're only holding pebbles in your pockets ♪ ♪ You're only holding pebbles in your pockets ♪
233 00:13:18,920 00:13:21,885 ♪ Throwing foreign objects at your self-appointed prophets ♪ ♪ Throwing foreign objects at your self-appointed prophets ♪