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1 00:00:04,737 00:00:08,393 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
2 00:00:08,611 00:00:10,861 Hey. Have you ever gotten a mani-pedi? Hey. Have you ever gotten a mani-pedi?
3 00:00:11,521 00:00:13,571 Uh, I've gotten a manicure. Uh, I've gotten a manicure.
4 00:00:13,651 00:00:16,771 - Really? - Uh, but I've never got a pedicure. - Really? - Uh, but I've never got a pedicure.
5 00:00:16,861 00:00:19,071 The toes rank second on the body The toes rank second on the body
6 00:00:19,151 00:00:21,861 only to the testicles in terms of how repulsive they are. only to the testicles in terms of how repulsive they are.
7 00:00:21,941 00:00:24,821 - Hey. You know Hobe Turner? - He was a writer on Seinfeld. - Hey. You know Hobe Turner? - He was a writer on Seinfeld.
8 00:00:24,901 00:00:27,441 - Yeah. Of course. Yeah. - Okay. Doing a movie - Yeah. Of course. Yeah. - Okay. Doing a movie
9 00:00:27,521 00:00:30,441 starring Jon Hamm, and Jon Hamm starring Jon Hamm, and Jon Hamm
10 00:00:30,521 00:00:33,731 is playing a Larry David-type writer. is playing a Larry David-type writer.
11 00:00:33,821 00:00:37,321 They're going against type, and he wants to, uh, They're going against type, and he wants to, uh,
12 00:00:37,401 00:00:39,651 follow you around, spend a day with you. follow you around, spend a day with you.
13 00:00:39,731 00:00:40,941 Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, let's do it.
14 00:00:41,021 00:00:42,821 I'm gonna try and make it happen for tomorrow. I'm gonna try and make it happen for tomorrow.
15 00:00:42,901 00:00:44,377 - That'll be fun. - Yeah, it will be fun. - That'll be fun. - Yeah, it will be fun.
16 00:00:44,401 00:00:45,321 We're back! We're back!
17 00:00:45,401 00:00:46,651 All right, listen. All right, listen.
18 00:00:46,731 00:00:48,941 We are not getting along at all. We are not getting along at all.
19 00:00:49,021 00:00:50,691 Susie and I are at odds. Susie and I are at odds.
20 00:00:50,771 00:00:52,481 Oh, my God. I, I don't even know... Oh, my God. I, I don't even know...
21 00:00:52,571 00:00:53,821 - Saw your car! - Hi! - Saw your car! - Hi!
22 00:00:53,901 00:00:55,571 - Hi, ladies. Hi. - Oh. - Hi, ladies. Hi. - Oh.
23 00:00:55,651 00:00:57,191 - Well, well, well. - Hi. - Well, well, well. - Hi.
24 00:00:57,271 00:00:58,377 - Hey, look who's here? - Hey. - Hey, look who's here? - Hey.
25 00:00:58,401 00:01:00,771 - I'm glad you're here. - Are you? - I'm glad you're here. - Are you?
26 00:01:00,861 00:01:03,047 I never thought I'd hear those words come out of your mouth. I never thought I'd hear those words come out of your mouth.
27 00:01:03,071 00:01:05,401 Okay. So, Becky, my sister... Okay. So, Becky, my sister...
28 00:01:05,481 00:01:07,457 - Uh-huh. - ...is selling that house we bought her. - Uh-huh. - ...is selling that house we bought her.
29 00:01:07,481 00:01:09,941 - Really? - And what's really interesting is, - Really? - And what's really interesting is,
30 00:01:10,021 00:01:11,111 it's appreciated, it's appreciated,
31 00:01:11,191 00:01:12,707 because that section of town is, like... because that section of town is, like...
32 00:01:12,731 00:01:14,941 Fantastic! Make a little dough! Fantastic! Make a little dough!
33 00:01:15,021 00:01:16,571 Becky's gonna make some money. Becky's gonna make some money.
34 00:01:16,651 00:01:18,771 What do you mean she'll make some money? What do you mean she'll make some money?
35 00:01:18,861 00:01:20,441 I bought the house. I bought the house.
36 00:01:20,521 00:01:22,417 - We bought the house. - Okay, yeah, okay. - We bought the house. - Okay, yeah, okay.
37 00:01:22,441 00:01:24,087 - And we gave it... - We bought the house. - And we gave it... - We bought the house.
38 00:01:24,111 00:01:25,021 - ...as a gift. - Okay. - ...as a gift. - Okay.
39 00:01:25,111 00:01:26,861 A gift... It wasn't a gift A gift... It wasn't a gift
40 00:01:26,941 00:01:28,691 for her to sell and make money. for her to sell and make money.
41 00:01:28,771 00:01:30,191 It was a gift for her to live in. It was a gift for her to live in.
42 00:01:30,271 00:01:32,087 - You gave it to her. It was a gift. - Yeah. You... - You gave it to her. It was a gift. - Yeah. You...
43 00:01:32,111 00:01:34,031 I didn't give her the house so she could sell it. I didn't give her the house so she could sell it.
44 00:01:34,071 00:01:35,431 What if she sold it in three days? What if she sold it in three days?
45 00:01:35,481 00:01:37,001 Would she be allowed to keep the money? Would she be allowed to keep the money?
46 00:01:37,071 00:01:39,337 - She's flipping houses now? - She's been there for 15 years. - She's flipping houses now? - She's been there for 15 years.
47 00:01:39,361 00:01:40,691 That's not exactly a flip. That's not exactly a flip.
48 00:01:40,771 00:01:43,651 So she's gonna sell it and make this tremendous profit? So she's gonna sell it and make this tremendous profit?
49 00:01:43,731 00:01:46,151 - And get everything? - That's, that's crazy talk. - And get everything? - That's, that's crazy talk.
50 00:01:46,231 00:01:47,877 - That's insane. - Why are you siding with him? - That's insane. - Why are you siding with him?
51 00:01:47,901 00:01:49,337 - What do you mean, why am I siding with him? - No! - What do you mean, why am I siding with him? - No!
52 00:01:49,361 00:01:50,651 That's the right thing! That's the right thing!
53 00:01:50,731 00:01:52,571 Listen, I don't wanna be Listen, I don't wanna be
54 00:01:52,651 00:01:53,571 in the middle of this. in the middle of this.
55 00:01:53,651 00:01:55,231 I don't really talk to Becky. I don't really talk to Becky.
56 00:01:55,321 00:01:56,321 Why? Why?
57 00:01:56,401 00:01:58,521 We've grown apart through the years. We've grown apart through the years.
58 00:01:58,611 00:02:00,571 She calls me Queen Elizabeth. She calls me Queen Elizabeth.
59 00:02:00,651 00:02:02,611 She calls herself Princess Margaret... She calls herself Princess Margaret...
60 00:02:02,691 00:02:04,151 - Queen Elizabeth? - Yeah. - Queen Elizabeth? - Yeah.
61 00:02:04,231 00:02:05,981 Oh, yeah. 'Cause you got everything. Oh, yeah. 'Cause you got everything.
62 00:02:06,071 00:02:08,731 - That's what she says. - And she's jealous. - That's what she says. - And she's jealous.
63 00:02:08,821 00:02:10,481 So if you're comfortable... So if you're comfortable...
64 00:02:10,571 00:02:13,127 - going to her and asking her for money... - Oh, you better believe it. - going to her and asking her for money... - Oh, you better believe it.
65 00:02:13,151 00:02:14,917 Oh, you better believe it. I feel comfortable. Oh, you better believe it. I feel comfortable.
66 00:02:14,941 00:02:16,917 All right, well, you do it, because Cheryl doesn't feel comfortable. All right, well, you do it, because Cheryl doesn't feel comfortable.
67 00:02:16,941 00:02:18,701 - Is that a character? - Yeah. Kramer. - Is that a character? - Yeah. Kramer.
68 00:02:18,731 00:02:20,171 - Oh. - Oh, I feel comfortable. - Oh. - Oh, I feel comfortable.
69 00:02:20,231 00:02:22,941 - Okay. - Oh, you better believe it. - Okay. - Oh, you better believe it.
70 00:02:24,361 00:02:27,771 This Hobe Turner movie is, like, one of the... is a big thing for me. This Hobe Turner movie is, like, one of the... is a big thing for me.
71 00:02:27,861 00:02:29,797 - Yeah. - And I'm excited to do it. And, you know, - Yeah. - And I'm excited to do it. And, you know,
72 00:02:29,821 00:02:31,401 the guy is kind of based on you. the guy is kind of based on you.
73 00:02:31,481 00:02:34,441 So the best way I can figure it is to just hang out. So the best way I can figure it is to just hang out.
74 00:02:34,521 00:02:36,901 - You know. I ask... - It's not gonna be easy, Jon. - You know. I ask... - It's not gonna be easy, Jon.
75 00:02:36,981 00:02:38,521 I'm a very complex man. I'm a very complex man.
76 00:02:38,611 00:02:40,441 - Very complicated. - I get it. - Very complicated. - I get it.
77 00:02:40,521 00:02:42,361 But I just wanna say I'd really appreciate it. But I just wanna say I'd really appreciate it.
78 00:02:42,441 00:02:44,151 - You'd appreciate it. - Yes, I would. - You'd appreciate it. - Yes, I would.
79 00:02:44,231 00:02:48,231 Really. This... this word "appreciate," it's very, very odd. Really. This... this word "appreciate," it's very, very odd.
80 00:02:48,321 00:02:50,497 People seem to think that if they use the word "appreciate," People seem to think that if they use the word "appreciate,"
81 00:02:50,521 00:02:52,441 all of a sudden, the seas part for them. all of a sudden, the seas part for them.
82 00:02:52,521 00:02:55,271 "Oh, hey, I'm so sorry that I... "Oh, hey, I'm so sorry that I...
83 00:02:55,361 00:02:57,021 "I robbed your house and burned it down. "I robbed your house and burned it down.
84 00:02:57,111 00:02:59,297 I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't tell the cops." I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't tell the cops."
85 00:02:59,321 00:03:00,246 You know? You know?
86 00:03:00,271 00:03:03,045 This is exactly what I'm talking about. This is exactly what I'm talking about.
87 00:03:03,651 00:03:06,981 - This is perfect. - All right. Let's order the main course. - This is perfect. - All right. Let's order the main course.
88 00:03:07,071 00:03:08,611 Yes, we should. Yes, we should.
89 00:03:08,691 00:03:11,127 - There's so many things on this. - I can't look at these menus. - There's so many things on this. - I can't look at these menus.
90 00:03:11,151 00:03:13,651 There's so much. Oh, you know what? There's so much. Oh, you know what?
91 00:03:13,731 00:03:16,611 We should just ask them. They got... They know what they're doing. We should just ask them. They got... They know what they're doing.
92 00:03:16,691 00:03:17,861 Ho-bo-bo. Ho-ho-ho-ho. Ho-bo-bo. Ho-ho-ho-ho.
93 00:03:17,941 00:03:19,691 Why are you... Why are you doing this? Why are you... Why are you doing this?
94 00:03:19,771 00:03:23,271 Excuse me. What, uh... What'd you guys get? Excuse me. What, uh... What'd you guys get?
95 00:03:23,361 00:03:24,861 Why do you want to know? Why do you want to know?
96 00:03:24,941 00:03:26,861 Because we're about to order. Because we're about to order.
97 00:03:26,941 00:03:28,571 But, uh, you have a menu. But, uh, you have a menu.
98 00:03:28,651 00:03:30,521 Yeah, but I figured, you know, Yeah, but I figured, you know,
99 00:03:30,611 00:03:32,981 you're the experts, why not copy you. you're the experts, why not copy you.
100 00:03:33,071 00:03:35,231 Why would you think we're the experts? Why would you think we're the experts?
101 00:03:35,321 00:03:36,731 Chinese. Chinese.
102 00:03:36,821 00:03:39,731 - Ai-yah! - That doesn't make us an expert on food. - Ai-yah! - That doesn't make us an expert on food.
103 00:03:39,821 00:03:40,941 Yeah. Yeah, I think it does. Yeah. Yeah, I think it does.
104 00:03:41,021 00:03:42,821 I mean, if there was a table of fat people, I mean, if there was a table of fat people,
105 00:03:42,901 00:03:44,231 and a table of skinny people, and a table of skinny people,
106 00:03:44,321 00:03:46,271 I'd ask the fat people what they were getting. I'd ask the fat people what they were getting.
107 00:03:46,361 00:03:49,231 'Cause they're a little more expert at eating than the skinny people. 'Cause they're a little more expert at eating than the skinny people.
108 00:03:49,321 00:03:50,441 Anyway... Anyway...
109 00:03:50,521 00:03:53,611 - Return to your meal. - Thank you. - Return to your meal. - Thank you.
110 00:03:55,441 00:03:58,231 - What? - This is gold. - What? - This is gold.
111 00:04:01,151 00:04:02,337 - Schmo-hawk. - Yeah, schmo-hawk. - Schmo-hawk. - Yeah, schmo-hawk.
112 00:04:02,361 00:04:03,497 - I thought I heard that. - Yeah. - I thought I heard that. - Yeah.
113 00:04:03,521 00:04:05,021 But I wasn't sure I heard it right. But I wasn't sure I heard it right.
114 00:04:05,111 00:04:06,651 - S-C-H? - S-C-H. - S-C-H? - S-C-H.
115 00:04:06,731 00:04:07,917 You know, you got the "schmo." You know, you got the "schmo."
116 00:04:07,941 00:04:10,231 It's a schmo. Yeah. It's a schmo. Yeah.
117 00:04:11,111 00:04:13,151 It's the browsing, right? You can't stand it. It's the browsing, right? You can't stand it.
118 00:04:13,231 00:04:14,611 - You hate it. - No browsing. - You hate it. - No browsing.
119 00:04:14,691 00:04:16,361 - No browsing. Yeah. - No browsing. - No browsing. Yeah. - No browsing.
120 00:04:16,441 00:04:19,521 - You own this stand? - No. I work for the owner. - You own this stand? - No. I work for the owner.
121 00:04:19,611 00:04:22,111 What do you do if you have to go to the bathroom? What do you do if you have to go to the bathroom?
122 00:04:22,191 00:04:23,441 I don't go. I don't go.
123 00:04:24,321 00:04:25,691 You don't go. You don't go.
124 00:04:25,771 00:04:27,071 The whole shift, you don't go? The whole shift, you don't go?
125 00:04:27,151 00:04:29,401 I can't go. I have to watch. I can't go. I have to watch.
126 00:04:29,481 00:04:30,901 All right. You know what? All right. You know what?
127 00:04:30,981 00:04:32,941 Do you have to go to the bathroom now? Do you have to go to the bathroom now?
128 00:04:34,271 00:04:36,021 - Go. I'll watch it. - You'll watch it? - Go. I'll watch it. - You'll watch it?
129 00:04:36,111 00:04:38,231 - I'll watch the stand. Go. - Okay. Put this on. - I'll watch the stand. Go. - Okay. Put this on.
130 00:04:38,321 00:04:40,087 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Thank you. Thank you so... - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Thank you. Thank you so...
131 00:04:40,111 00:04:41,547 Yeah. You're, you're, you're welcome. Yeah. You're, you're, you're welcome.
132 00:04:41,571 00:04:42,821 I really have to go. I really have to go.
133 00:04:42,901 00:04:44,271 - No browsing, okay? - No browsing. - No browsing, okay? - No browsing.
134 00:04:44,361 00:04:45,997 - You browse, you buy. - You browse, you buy. - You browse, you buy. - You browse, you buy.
135 00:04:46,021 00:04:48,521 - Thank you. - Take your time. Take your time. - Thank you. - Take your time. Take your time.
136 00:04:48,611 00:04:50,821 Get your papers here. Papers! Get your papers here. Papers!
137 00:04:50,901 00:04:52,861 Magazines. Newspapers! Magazines. Newspapers!
138 00:04:53,901 00:04:55,271 Sir. Sir.
139 00:04:55,361 00:04:56,731 - Oh. - Sir. - Oh. - Sir.
140 00:04:56,821 00:04:59,071 - Sorry, no browsing. - I'm not browsing. - Sorry, no browsing. - I'm not browsing.
141 00:04:59,151 00:05:02,611 The rule here is, you buy, then browse. The rule here is, you buy, then browse.
142 00:05:02,691 00:05:04,731 I browse to buy. I browse to buy.
143 00:05:04,821 00:05:06,361 I know, but that's... I'm sorry. I know, but that's... I'm sorry.
144 00:05:06,441 00:05:07,841 That's, that's just not gonna work. That's, that's just not gonna work.
145 00:05:07,901 00:05:09,271 What the fuck? What the fuck?
146 00:05:09,361 00:05:10,861 - Hey! - Hey. - Hey! - Hey.
147 00:05:10,941 00:05:12,691 Yeah, sorry. Yeah. Yeah, sorry. Yeah.
148 00:05:13,151 00:05:15,771 I.D. What the... What are you, nuts? I.D. What the... What are you, nuts?
149 00:05:15,861 00:05:17,521 - No. - Are you having a breakdown? - No. - Are you having a breakdown?
150 00:05:17,611 00:05:19,167 - Hey, Jon. - Hey, how are you? - Hey, Jon. - Hey, how are you?
151 00:05:19,191 00:05:20,877 - Jon Hamm. - Yeah, it's nice to meet you. Big fan. - Jon Hamm. - Yeah, it's nice to meet you. Big fan.
152 00:05:20,901 00:05:22,701 What is... What the f... What, are you guys... What is... What the f... What, are you guys...
153 00:05:22,731 00:05:24,247 - ...escaped from a mental institution? - No. - ...escaped from a mental institution? - No.
154 00:05:24,271 00:05:25,837 The guy had to go to the bathroom, so I took over. The guy had to go to the bathroom, so I took over.
155 00:05:25,861 00:05:27,707 - So get this... - What, what are you guys doing? - So get this... - What, what are you guys doing?
156 00:05:27,731 00:05:29,441 Jon's starring in a movie. Jon's starring in a movie.
157 00:05:29,521 00:05:31,481 - Well, what else is new? - And the character... - Well, what else is new? - And the character...
158 00:05:31,571 00:05:33,111 The character's based on me. The character's based on me.
159 00:05:33,191 00:05:34,611 So he's kind of shadowing me. So he's kind of shadowing me.
160 00:05:34,691 00:05:36,771 What's the name of the movie? The Biggest Asshole... What's the name of the movie? The Biggest Asshole...
161 00:05:36,861 00:05:38,707 - ...That Ever Roamed the Earth? - Oh, I like that. - ...That Ever Roamed the Earth? - Oh, I like that.
162 00:05:38,731 00:05:40,361 Yeah, that's, that's good. Yeah, that's, that's good.
163 00:05:40,441 00:05:42,271 - I'll tell Hobe. - That's good. - I'll tell Hobe. - That's good.
164 00:05:42,361 00:05:45,151 You're a great actor, but this could be the end. You're a great actor, but this could be the end.
165 00:05:45,231 00:05:46,441 So what are you doing? So what are you doing?
166 00:05:46,521 00:05:48,191 You know Michelle, the CEO... You know Michelle, the CEO...
167 00:05:48,271 00:05:49,957 - ...I'm dating? - Yeah, I know she's a CEO. - ...I'm dating? - Yeah, I know she's a CEO.
168 00:05:49,981 00:05:52,271 Well, I gotta go furniture shopping with her today. Well, I gotta go furniture shopping with her today.
169 00:05:52,361 00:05:54,071 Furniture shopping? Furniture shopping?
170 00:05:54,151 00:05:55,377 Yeah, but I gotta really get going. Yeah, but I gotta really get going.
171 00:05:55,401 00:05:57,271 - Okay. - Why don't we have a meal? - Okay. - Why don't we have a meal?
172 00:05:57,361 00:05:58,667 We haven't had dinner in a while. We haven't had dinner in a while.
173 00:05:58,691 00:06:00,167 Yeah, let's do it. Let's have dinner. Yeah, let's do it. Let's have dinner.
174 00:06:00,191 00:06:02,571 - Can, uh, Michelle come? - No. - Can, uh, Michelle come? - No.
175 00:06:02,651 00:06:04,731 Listen, I... I really want her to come. I... Listen, I... I really want her to come. I...
176 00:06:04,821 00:06:06,271 I really would appreciate it. I really would appreciate it.
177 00:06:06,361 00:06:08,611 See? See what I'm saying with the "appreciate"? See? See what I'm saying with the "appreciate"?
178 00:06:08,691 00:06:10,162 I'm finally starting to get it. I see what you're saying. Yes. I'm finally starting to get it. I see what you're saying. Yes.
179 00:06:10,186 00:06:11,049 Huh? You see it? Huh? You see it?
180 00:06:11,073 00:06:12,286 What are you talking about? What are you talking about?
181 00:06:12,310 00:06:14,821 I don't succumb to "appreciate." I don't succumb to "appreciate."
182 00:06:14,901 00:06:17,151 I'm not gonna bring her. For you, okay? I'm not gonna bring her. For you, okay?
183 00:06:17,231 00:06:18,707 - Yeah. - To honor our friendship. - Yeah. - To honor our friendship.
184 00:06:18,731 00:06:20,931 - But she's gonna give me shit for it. - So what? - But she's gonna give me shit for it. - So what?
185 00:06:20,981 00:06:22,691 You're gonna pay down the line for this. You're gonna pay down the line for this.
186 00:06:22,771 00:06:24,743 You text me where you want to meet, asshole. You text me where you want to meet, asshole.
187 00:06:24,768 00:06:25,768 Okay. Okay.
188 00:06:28,021 00:06:30,071 Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you so much.
189 00:06:30,151 00:06:31,321 - Oh, sure. - That was quick. - Oh, sure. - That was quick.
190 00:06:31,401 00:06:33,821 - I feel so much better. - I'm sure you do. - I feel so much better. - I'm sure you do.
191 00:06:33,901 00:06:35,481 - Get this off me. - Okay. - Get this off me. - Okay.
192 00:06:35,571 00:06:37,901 - What do I owe you? - You owe me nothing. - What do I owe you? - You owe me nothing.
193 00:06:37,981 00:06:40,771 - Nothing. Oh, boy. - No. I insist. - Nothing. Oh, boy. - No. I insist.
194 00:06:40,861 00:06:43,691 - Yeah. - Thank you. That piss was worth $10, easy. - Yeah. - Thank you. That piss was worth $10, easy.
195 00:06:43,771 00:06:46,611 Well, see ya, man. I mean, look what you did. Well, see ya, man. I mean, look what you did.
196 00:06:46,691 00:06:48,441 Yeah. Yeah.
197 00:06:48,521 00:06:50,441 A $10 piss. A $10 piss.
198 00:06:52,271 00:06:55,691 - Mm. Mm. - And he offered me $10 to take a piss. - Mm. Mm. - And he offered me $10 to take a piss.
199 00:06:55,771 00:06:58,111 - Wow. - And I'm thinking... - Wow. - And I'm thinking...
200 00:06:58,191 00:07:00,271 what a great idea for a business. what a great idea for a business.
201 00:07:00,361 00:07:02,901 You relieve people who have jobs You relieve people who have jobs
202 00:07:02,981 00:07:04,861 where they can't use a bathroom. where they can't use a bathroom.
203 00:07:04,941 00:07:07,481 Toll booth collectors, shoe shine stands, Toll booth collectors, shoe shine stands,
204 00:07:07,571 00:07:09,071 parking garage attendants. parking garage attendants.
205 00:07:09,151 00:07:11,651 They contact you on your phone, it's an app, They contact you on your phone, it's an app,
206 00:07:11,731 00:07:14,481 and then you go down and man the store, and then you go down and man the store,
207 00:07:14,571 00:07:15,731 when they go to the bathroom. when they go to the bathroom.
208 00:07:15,821 00:07:17,321 Do you know how many times I've peed Do you know how many times I've peed
209 00:07:17,401 00:07:18,731 in a fuckin' Gatorade bottle in a fuckin' Gatorade bottle
210 00:07:18,821 00:07:20,377 when I couldn't find a fuckin' bathroom? when I couldn't find a fuckin' bathroom?
211 00:07:20,401 00:07:21,901 Plenty of fuckin' times. Plenty of fuckin' times.
212 00:07:21,981 00:07:23,021 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
213 00:07:23,111 00:07:24,691 And know how many times I forgot And know how many times I forgot
214 00:07:24,771 00:07:26,151 I peed in that Gatorade bottle I peed in that Gatorade bottle
215 00:07:26,231 00:07:28,441 and drank that shit? Once. and drank that shit? Once.
216 00:07:28,981 00:07:30,441 That's a fuckin' good idea. That's a fuckin' good idea.
217 00:07:30,521 00:07:31,721 Thanks for sharing that story. Thanks for sharing that story.
218 00:07:31,771 00:07:33,111 This could be the pee Amazon. This could be the pee Amazon.
219 00:07:33,191 00:07:35,271 - You know? This, this is big. - This could be big. - You know? This, this is big. - This could be big.
220 00:07:35,361 00:07:36,547 - This could be very big. - Every fuckin' where. - This could be very big. - Every fuckin' where.
221 00:07:36,571 00:07:37,931 - Yeah. - Very big. We need a name. - Yeah. - Very big. We need a name.
222 00:07:37,981 00:07:39,731 - Poober. - Poober! - Poober. - Poober!
223 00:07:39,821 00:07:41,901 - Meh. It's too close to Uber. - Meh. - Meh. It's too close to Uber. - Meh.
224 00:07:41,981 00:07:43,571 I got something. I got something.
225 00:07:43,651 00:07:44,941 "Gotta Go." "Gotta Go."
226 00:07:45,021 00:07:47,071 - Like that. That's catchy as hell. - You like that? - Like that. That's catchy as hell. - You like that?
227 00:08:03,441 00:08:06,021 - Oh. Hey! - Hey, Becky. - Oh. Hey! - Hey, Becky.
228 00:08:06,111 00:08:08,481 Can I talk to you for a minute? Can I talk to you for a minute?
229 00:08:09,321 00:08:11,321 Yeah. Okay. Come on. Yeah. Okay. Come on.
230 00:08:11,901 00:08:13,651 Wow. Wow.
231 00:08:13,731 00:08:15,651 What, did you have a party in here? What, did you have a party in here?
232 00:08:15,731 00:08:18,151 Nope. Nope. Just me. Nope. Nope. Just me.
233 00:08:18,231 00:08:19,981 Can I make you something to drink? Can I make you something to drink?
234 00:08:20,691 00:08:22,191 Uh, no, thanks. Uh, no, thanks.
235 00:08:22,271 00:08:23,941 Okay. Okay.
236 00:08:24,021 00:08:26,401 You know, you're trying to sell a house. You know, you're trying to sell a house.
237 00:08:26,481 00:08:27,861 - It's... - Oh. - It's... - Oh.
238 00:08:27,941 00:08:29,941 It's gonna be hard to sell a house like, like this. It's gonna be hard to sell a house like, like this.
239 00:08:29,981 00:08:31,861 I gotta tidy up a bit, I know. I gotta tidy up a bit, I know.
240 00:08:31,941 00:08:34,321 You know, it's all based on first impressions. You know, it's all based on first impressions.
241 00:08:34,401 00:08:36,088 People come over, they're gonna see this... People come over, they're gonna see this...
242 00:08:36,113 00:08:37,002 Yeah. Yeah.
243 00:08:37,026 00:08:38,237 ...and then no one's gonna buy it. ...and then no one's gonna buy it.
244 00:08:38,261 00:08:40,021 All right. I'll take care of it, Dad. All right. I'll take care of it, Dad.
245 00:08:40,111 00:08:42,021 - Oh. Yeah. - Hey. - Oh. Yeah. - Hey.
246 00:08:42,111 00:08:44,901 Heard about the whole Cheryl-Ted blowup in Mexico. Heard about the whole Cheryl-Ted blowup in Mexico.
247 00:08:44,981 00:08:46,731 - Oh. - Oh, boy. - Oh. - Oh, boy.
248 00:08:46,821 00:08:48,981 - Little bit of ash. Sorry. - Yeah, that was... - Little bit of ash. Sorry. - Yeah, that was...
249 00:08:49,071 00:08:51,111 - That was wild. - Yeah, that made me happy. - That was wild. - Yeah, that made me happy.
250 00:08:51,191 00:08:52,997 - Oh, you... Really? - Little Miss Perfect. Yeah. - Oh, you... Really? - Little Miss Perfect. Yeah.
251 00:08:53,021 00:08:54,861 It made me feel better about myself. It made me feel better about myself.
252 00:08:55,521 00:08:57,571 Boy, you two used to get along so well. Boy, you two used to get along so well.
253 00:08:57,651 00:08:59,571 Yeah, well, not anymore. Yeah, well, not anymore.
254 00:08:59,651 00:09:01,901 You sure I can't get you something to drink? You sure I can't get you something to drink?
255 00:09:01,981 00:09:03,901 No. What are you drinking in the daytime for? No. What are you drinking in the daytime for?
256 00:09:03,981 00:09:06,321 - Who drinks in the daytime? - People who go to brunch. - Who drinks in the daytime? - People who go to brunch.
257 00:09:06,401 00:09:07,821 Well, we're not at brunch. Well, we're not at brunch.
258 00:09:07,901 00:09:09,771 Okay. So I am not having a mimosa. Okay. So I am not having a mimosa.
259 00:09:10,321 00:09:11,048 All right. All right.
260 00:09:11,073 00:09:13,255 What, what, what do you... What do you want? What, what, what do you... What do you want?
261 00:09:13,321 00:09:14,941 - What, what's going on? - Okay. Well, - What, what's going on? - Okay. Well,
262 00:09:15,021 00:09:16,707 obviously, I heard you're selling the house. obviously, I heard you're selling the house.
263 00:09:16,731 00:09:18,271 Yeah. Yeah.
264 00:09:18,361 00:09:20,691 You know, the thing is, Becky, You know, the thing is, Becky,
265 00:09:20,771 00:09:23,771 you know, I did buy you the house, so... you know, I did buy you the house, so...
266 00:09:23,861 00:09:25,821 - I know. - It's kind of my house. - I know. - It's kind of my house.
267 00:09:25,901 00:09:28,691 - No. No, you... - I paid for the house. - No. No, you... - I paid for the house.
268 00:09:28,771 00:09:31,058 And I thought it was only fair and reasonable... And I thought it was only fair and reasonable...
269 00:09:31,083 00:09:31,845 Okay. Okay.
270 00:09:31,901 00:09:34,941 I'm gonna let you keep the profits I'm gonna let you keep the profits
271 00:09:35,021 00:09:36,361 to, to the house. to, to the house.
272 00:09:36,441 00:09:39,321 But of course, I'll get my investment back. But of course, I'll get my investment back.
273 00:09:39,401 00:09:42,401 No, no, no. No. No, no, no. No.
274 00:09:42,771 00:09:46,571 - Hey. Say I gave you $700,000... - It's my house. - Hey. Say I gave you $700,000... - It's my house.
275 00:09:47,861 00:09:50,361 Please don't do this to me, okay? Please don't do this to me, okay?
276 00:09:50,441 00:09:52,361 Please don't do this. This is my house. Please don't do this. This is my house.
277 00:09:52,441 00:09:53,861 It's all I have left. It's all I have left.
278 00:09:53,941 00:09:57,731 Oh, my God. Please don't do this to me. Oh, my God. Please don't do this to me.
279 00:09:57,821 00:09:59,941 I, I lost my job. I, I lost my job.
280 00:10:00,021 00:10:01,571 And my boyfriend broke up with me. And my boyfriend broke up with me.
281 00:10:01,771 00:10:03,571 - Geez. Don't cry... - He was from Poland, - Geez. Don't cry... - He was from Poland,
282 00:10:03,651 00:10:06,821 and it turns out all he wanted was a visa. and it turns out all he wanted was a visa.
283 00:10:06,901 00:10:09,861 Okay, you... Okay, you...
284 00:10:09,941 00:10:12,901 Forget, forget it. You, you, you can keep the house. Forget, forget it. You, you, you can keep the house.
285 00:10:12,981 00:10:15,021 You can keep all the money, keep, keep the profits. You can keep all the money, keep, keep the profits.
286 00:10:15,111 00:10:16,981 Keep, keep it all. Keep, keep it all.
287 00:10:17,071 00:10:20,481 - Is this a joke? - No. No. No. - Is this a joke? - No. No. No.
288 00:10:20,571 00:10:21,821 - You mean it? - Keep it all. - You mean it? - Keep it all.
289 00:10:21,901 00:10:24,821 - Thank you, Larry. - Keep it. You can have it. - Thank you, Larry. - Keep it. You can have it.
290 00:10:24,901 00:10:26,981 Yeah. It's okay. Yeah. It's okay.
291 00:10:33,861 00:10:35,071 - Really? - Yeah. - Really? - Yeah.
292 00:10:35,151 00:10:36,571 - Wow. - I know. - Wow. - I know.
293 00:10:36,651 00:10:38,901 I think I always had a secret little crush on her. I think I always had a secret little crush on her.
294 00:10:38,981 00:10:40,271 - Me too. - Yeah. - Me too. - Yeah.
295 00:10:40,361 00:10:42,191 It was in the daytime. It was in the daytime.
296 00:10:42,271 00:10:43,941 I love daytime sex. I love daytime sex.
297 00:10:44,021 00:10:45,521 You're filled with energy. You're filled with energy.
298 00:10:45,611 00:10:47,644 Yes! I mean, nighttime, you're so close to going to bed. Yes! I mean, nighttime, you're so close to going to bed.
299 00:10:47,668 00:10:48,858 Filled! Right! Filled! Right!
300 00:10:48,883 00:10:50,297 Why are you doing that before you go to bed? Why are you doing that before you go to bed?
301 00:10:50,321 00:10:51,634 The whole thing should be all flipped around. The whole thing should be all flipped around.
302 00:10:51,658 00:10:52,529 I know. I know.
303 00:10:52,553 00:10:53,707 - It should never happen at night. - The daytime. - It should never happen at night. - The daytime.
304 00:10:53,731 00:10:54,877 - Always during the day. - Yes. - Always during the day. - Yes.
305 00:10:54,901 00:10:56,361 Ah. It's Jon. Ah. It's Jon.
306 00:10:56,441 00:10:58,627 - What's going on? - Nothing. We're just going out to dinner. - What's going on? - Nothing. We're just going out to dinner.
307 00:10:58,651 00:11:01,071 - Is that working out okay? - Yeah. Yeah. - Is that working out okay? - Yeah. Yeah.
308 00:11:01,151 00:11:03,111 Where is he? Where is he?
309 00:11:05,361 00:11:08,321 Did you have sex with my sister Becky? Did you have sex with my sister Becky?
310 00:11:08,401 00:11:09,981 Who said that? Who said that?
311 00:11:10,691 00:11:11,691 Becky! Becky!
312 00:11:11,731 00:11:12,901 What did she say? What did she say?
313 00:11:12,981 00:11:15,151 She said, "Guess who I fucked?" She said, "Guess who I fucked?"
314 00:11:15,231 00:11:17,941 - Huh... - Oh, my God. - Huh... - Oh, my God.
315 00:11:18,021 00:11:20,821 - He did. - Oh, my God! - He did. - Oh, my God!
316 00:11:20,901 00:11:22,771 - What, what are you thinking? - I was there, - What, what are you thinking? - I was there,
317 00:11:22,861 00:11:26,441 and she was, she-she was upset, she was sobbing, and she was, she-she was upset, she was sobbing,
318 00:11:26,521 00:11:28,441 and I consoled her, and... and I consoled her, and...
319 00:11:28,521 00:11:30,271 And, you know, it just, it happened. And, you know, it just, it happened.
320 00:11:30,361 00:11:32,087 - That's why. - Yeah, what about the money? - That's why. - Yeah, what about the money?
321 00:11:32,111 00:11:33,401 I told her, uh, I told her, uh,
322 00:11:33,481 00:11:35,337 she didn't have to, uh, share the money with me. she didn't have to, uh, share the money with me.
323 00:11:35,361 00:11:37,611 - Oh, my God. - That's, that's like prostitution. - Oh, my God. - That's, that's like prostitution.
324 00:11:37,691 00:11:40,151 - It was consensual sex between two adults! - Oh, my God. - It was consensual sex between two adults! - Oh, my God.
325 00:11:40,231 00:11:41,960 There's nothing wrong with that, as far as I know! There's nothing wrong with that, as far as I know!
326 00:11:41,984 00:11:42,997 She was vulnerable. She was vulnerable.
327 00:11:43,021 00:11:45,071 We were all in the living room over there We were all in the living room over there
328 00:11:45,151 00:11:46,611 when you gave a big speech, when you gave a big speech,
329 00:11:46,691 00:11:48,321 and you were gonna march over there and you were gonna march over there
330 00:11:48,401 00:11:50,457 - and get your money back for that house. - I did march over there, - and get your money back for that house. - I did march over there,
331 00:11:50,481 00:11:51,861 and then I felt sorry for her. and then I felt sorry for her.
332 00:11:51,941 00:11:53,377 - Oh, my... - Yeah, you marched over there, - Oh, my... - Yeah, you marched over there,
333 00:11:53,401 00:11:54,691 you got a fuckin' blow job, you got a fuckin' blow job,
334 00:11:54,771 00:11:56,151 and then you gave the house away. and then you gave the house away.
335 00:11:56,231 00:11:58,111 There's a million fuckin' women in the world. There's a million fuckin' women in the world.
336 00:11:58,191 00:12:01,151 - You have to have sex with Cheryl's sister? - What? - You have to have sex with Cheryl's sister? - What?
337 00:12:01,231 00:12:02,771 Oh. Hey, Jonny. Oh. Hey, Jonny.
338 00:12:02,861 00:12:04,611 Uh, yeah. The door was ajar. Uh, yeah. The door was ajar.
339 00:12:04,691 00:12:05,837 The fuck are you doing in my house? The fuck are you doing in my house?
340 00:12:05,861 00:12:07,321 What is Jon Hamm doing in my house? What is Jon Hamm doing in my house?
341 00:12:07,401 00:12:09,457 - He's, he's, um... - Hold on. Yeah, I should get this down. - He's, he's, um... - Hold on. Yeah, I should get this down.
342 00:12:09,481 00:12:10,611 He's starring in a movie, He's starring in a movie,
343 00:12:10,691 00:12:12,207 and he's kind of, you know, shadowing me. and he's kind of, you know, shadowing me.
344 00:12:12,231 00:12:13,791 He's bas... The character's based on me. He's bas... The character's based on me.
345 00:12:13,861 00:12:16,151 So, the character is a disgusting pervert? So, the character is a disgusting pervert?
346 00:12:16,231 00:12:17,981 That's good. That's good.
347 00:12:18,071 00:12:19,981 It's actually not funny, Jon Hamm. It's actually not funny, Jon Hamm.
348 00:12:20,231 00:12:22,047 Oh, no, no. I'm not here. Act like I'm not here. Oh, no, no. I'm not here. Act like I'm not here.
349 00:12:22,071 00:12:23,877 - I'm just a fly on the wall. Just, uh... - Hey. - I'm just a fly on the wall. Just, uh... - Hey.
350 00:12:23,901 00:12:25,321 - New sneaks? - Oh, yeah. - New sneaks? - Oh, yeah.
351 00:12:25,401 00:12:26,997 - Good, right? How comfortable? - Love 'em. - Good, right? How comfortable? - Love 'em.
352 00:12:27,021 00:12:27,646 Yeah. Yeah.
353 00:12:27,671 00:12:29,545 Hey, guys? This is not the time, okay? Hey, guys? This is not the time, okay?
354 00:12:29,611 00:12:31,151 It's my house, you're in my house. It's my house, you're in my house.
355 00:12:31,231 00:12:32,997 - I'm terribly sorry. - You crossed a line... - I'm terribly sorry. - You crossed a line...
356 00:12:33,021 00:12:34,521 - ...this time. - You crossed a line! - ...this time. - You crossed a line!
357 00:12:34,611 00:12:36,127 - Oh, my God. - I didn't cross a line. - Oh, my God. - I didn't cross a line.
358 00:12:36,151 00:12:38,191 I went over the line that you already crossed. I went over the line that you already crossed.
359 00:12:38,271 00:12:39,521 - What? - He's a friend. - What? - He's a friend.
360 00:12:39,611 00:12:41,821 Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. Ted and Larry, Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. Ted and Larry,
361 00:12:41,901 00:12:44,401 it's just like you and your sister. It's the same thing. it's just like you and your sister. It's the same thing.
362 00:12:44,481 00:12:46,861 - It's nowhere close. - It is not close. - It's nowhere close. - It is not close.
363 00:12:46,941 00:12:49,861 It is close! She slept with my friend, Ted Danson. It is close! She slept with my friend, Ted Danson.
364 00:12:49,941 00:12:51,691 - Okay? - Okay. That's fine. - Okay? - Okay. That's fine.
365 00:12:51,771 00:12:54,247 - But I can't sleep with her sister? - It feels like the same thing. - But I can't sleep with her sister? - It feels like the same thing.
366 00:12:54,271 00:12:57,361 - Because Ted is like a sister to Larry. - Yeah! - Because Ted is like a sister to Larry. - Yeah!
367 00:12:57,441 00:12:59,361 No. It's a relationship with Ted. No. It's a relationship with Ted.
368 00:12:59,441 00:13:01,377 - It's not, I didn't just go have s... - Oh, it's a relationship? - It's not, I didn't just go have s... - Oh, it's a relationship?
369 00:13:01,401 00:13:03,167 Who's to say that I'm not gonna have a relationship Who's to say that I'm not gonna have a relationship
370 00:13:03,191 00:13:04,667 - with Becky, what do you mean? - Oh, my God. - with Becky, what do you mean? - Oh, my God.
371 00:13:04,691 00:13:07,071 You know how jealous Becky is of Cheryl. You know how jealous Becky is of Cheryl.
372 00:13:07,151 00:13:10,731 You know that Becky thinks of herself as Princess Margaret, You know that Becky thinks of herself as Princess Margaret,
373 00:13:10,821 00:13:12,691 and that Cheryl is Queen Elizabeth. and that Cheryl is Queen Elizabeth.
374 00:13:12,771 00:13:14,262 Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right.
375 00:13:14,286 00:13:15,634 Yeah. Oh, and you think you're Prince Philip? Yeah. Oh, and you think you're Prince Philip?
376 00:13:15,658 00:13:16,427 Is that what you're saying? Is that what you're saying?
377 00:13:16,451 00:13:17,870 - Yeah. - Oh, my God. - Yeah. - Oh, my God.
378 00:13:17,950 00:13:20,870 Prince Philip would put a fucking gun to his head Prince Philip would put a fucking gun to his head
379 00:13:20,950 00:13:23,160 before he had you representing him. before he had you representing him.
380 00:13:23,240 00:13:25,256 Again, real quick, are we talking about The Crown now? Again, real quick, are we talking about The Crown now?
381 00:13:25,280 00:13:26,820 - Yeah. - How good is that show? - Yeah. - How good is that show?
382 00:13:26,910 00:13:29,200 You know what, Jon Hamm, it was nice meeting you. You know what, Jon Hamm, it was nice meeting you.
383 00:13:29,280 00:13:30,870 But, really, this is between us. But, really, this is between us.
384 00:13:30,950 00:13:33,660 You know what, I've heard enough. Come on, Jonny. Let's go eat. You know what, I've heard enough. Come on, Jonny. Let's go eat.
385 00:13:33,740 00:13:35,320 - I'll call you. - You've had enough... - I'll call you. - You've had enough...
386 00:13:35,410 00:13:36,846 - ...you petty piece of shit. - Thank you so much, by the way. - ...you petty piece of shit. - Thank you so much, by the way.
387 00:13:36,870 00:13:38,820 Yeah, it's great. It's great. Yeah, it's great. It's great.
388 00:13:38,910 00:13:41,410 - Go, go be him, asshole. - Thank you. - Go, go be him, asshole. - Thank you.
389 00:13:45,570 00:13:47,700 - Aw, man. - What are you doing? - Aw, man. - What are you doing?
390 00:13:47,780 00:13:50,780 You just plopped that into your, into your water? You just plopped that into your, into your water?
391 00:13:50,870 00:13:53,410 Yeah, I plopped it in because I like lime with my water. Yeah, I plopped it in because I like lime with my water.
392 00:13:53,490 00:13:55,910 I know but they, they don't wash these rinds. I know but they, they don't wash these rinds.
393 00:13:55,990 00:13:57,700 You gotta have some trust in people. You gotta have some trust in people.
394 00:13:57,780 00:14:00,410 You ever see signs in bathrooms, "Wash before leaving"? You ever see signs in bathrooms, "Wash before leaving"?
395 00:14:00,490 00:14:02,170 It doesn't matter if their hands are clean. It doesn't matter if their hands are clean.
396 00:14:02,200 00:14:03,796 - They don't have to... - The rind's dirty. - They don't have to... - The rind's dirty.
397 00:14:03,820 00:14:06,280 - You get a disease. - Aah, please. - You get a disease. - Aah, please.
398 00:14:06,370 00:14:07,910 It's bullshit. It's bullshit.
399 00:14:07,990 00:14:10,240 And I'm really irked about something, man. And I'm really irked about something, man.
400 00:14:10,320 00:14:12,925 - Did you say "irked"? - Yeah, irked. - Did you say "irked"? - Yeah, irked.
401 00:14:12,950 00:14:14,796 I never heard you use that word before, but go ahead. I never heard you use that word before, but go ahead.
402 00:14:14,820 00:14:17,910 I'm irked because... with all due respect... I'm irked because... with all due respect...
403 00:14:17,990 00:14:19,530 Jon is here, and Michelle is... Jon is here, and Michelle is...
404 00:14:19,620 00:14:21,176 you wouldn't let Michelle come to dinner. you wouldn't let Michelle come to dinner.
405 00:14:21,200 00:14:23,070 I have to watch my Ps and Qs. I have to watch my Ps and Qs.
406 00:14:23,160 00:14:24,870 I don't wanna watch Ps and Qs. I don't wanna watch Ps and Qs.
407 00:14:24,950 00:14:26,280 Do you wanna watch Ps and Qs? Do you wanna watch Ps and Qs?
408 00:14:26,370 00:14:28,160 What are you, Shari Lewis? Where's Lamb Chop? What are you, Shari Lewis? Where's Lamb Chop?
409 00:14:28,240 00:14:29,870 In your pants? In your pants?
410 00:14:29,950 00:14:33,240 - Look, she's irked. - She's irked. - Look, she's irked. - She's irked.
411 00:14:33,320 00:14:34,740 So you're both irked? So you're both irked?
412 00:14:34,820 00:14:38,410 She's so angry at me that I had to, you know, make an excuse. She's so angry at me that I had to, you know, make an excuse.
413 00:14:38,490 00:14:39,780 Oh. What did you say? Oh. What did you say?
414 00:14:39,870 00:14:41,570 I said you had a bleeding rectum, I said you had a bleeding rectum,
415 00:14:41,660 00:14:43,320 and that you were worried and scared, and that you were worried and scared,
416 00:14:43,410 00:14:45,070 and you needed to talk to me alone, and you needed to talk to me alone,
417 00:14:45,160 00:14:47,410 and you'd be embarrassed if she heard it. and you'd be embarrassed if she heard it.
418 00:14:47,490 00:14:50,477 - Are you out of your fucking mind? - Well... - Are you out of your fucking mind? - Well...
419 00:14:50,502 00:14:51,886 You couldn't think of a better excuse than that? You couldn't think of a better excuse than that?
420 00:14:51,910 00:14:53,796 You should have called me. I got thousands of 'em. You should have called me. I got thousands of 'em.
421 00:14:53,820 00:14:56,160 - I can't even face her now. - Why not? - I can't even face her now. - Why not?
422 00:14:56,240 00:14:58,280 Nobody respects a person with a bleeding rectum. Nobody respects a person with a bleeding rectum.
423 00:14:58,370 00:15:00,450 You think Lincoln could have prosecuted a war You think Lincoln could have prosecuted a war
424 00:15:00,530 00:15:02,240 if people knew he had a bleeding rectum? if people knew he had a bleeding rectum?
425 00:15:02,320 00:15:04,176 And by the way, when you come to the dinner party And by the way, when you come to the dinner party
426 00:15:04,200 00:15:05,780 in a few days, I would not mention it. in a few days, I would not mention it.
427 00:15:05,870 00:15:07,570 Who mentions that at a dinner party? Who mentions that at a dinner party?
428 00:15:07,660 00:15:10,120 Do I still have it or-or am I over it? Do I still have it or-or am I over it?
429 00:15:10,200 00:15:12,200 No, I left it open. No, I left it open.
430 00:15:12,280 00:15:14,200 Sorry to hear that. Sorry to hear that.
431 00:15:14,570 00:15:16,200 I also... Can I say, I also... Can I say,
432 00:15:16,280 00:15:17,820 we ordered this kind of for the table, we ordered this kind of for the table,
433 00:15:17,910 00:15:19,990 and I feel like you've gone way over your and I feel like you've gone way over your
434 00:15:20,070 00:15:21,530 appetizer allotment at this point. appetizer allotment at this point.
435 00:15:21,620 00:15:23,780 - My allotment? - Well, there's three of us. - My allotment? - Well, there's three of us.
436 00:15:23,870 00:15:26,660 - We each get a third. - Who makes up that fuckin' rule? - We each get a third. - Who makes up that fuckin' rule?
437 00:15:26,740 00:15:28,370 It's an unwritten rule. It's an unwritten rule.
438 00:15:28,450 00:15:29,870 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
439 00:15:29,950 00:15:31,620 There's two Larry Davids. There's two Larry Davids.
440 00:15:31,700 00:15:33,490 Holy shit. Holy shit.
441 00:15:33,570 00:15:34,910 Pretty good. Pretty good.
442 00:15:34,990 00:15:37,530 Pretty, pretty good. Pretty, pretty good.
443 00:15:40,450 00:15:42,120 Aah. Aah.
444 00:15:47,530 00:15:50,120 - She threw me out. - She threw you out? - She threw me out. - She threw you out?
445 00:15:50,200 00:15:52,410 - Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep. - Why? - Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep. - Why?
446 00:15:52,490 00:15:55,910 Well, she doesn't like the way I defended you being with Becky. Well, she doesn't like the way I defended you being with Becky.
447 00:15:55,990 00:15:58,780 - Come on in. Make yourself at home. - I will. - Come on in. Make yourself at home. - I will.
448 00:15:58,870 00:16:00,030 I, I gotta go. I, I gotta go.
449 00:16:00,120 00:16:01,596 - Where are you going? - I'm going to Becky's. - Where are you going? - I'm going to Becky's.
450 00:16:01,620 00:16:04,530 Oh. If you keep going to Becky's, Oh. If you keep going to Becky's,
451 00:16:04,620 00:16:06,410 I can't go home. I can't go home.
452 00:16:06,490 00:16:07,870 Keep going to Becky's. Keep going to Becky's.
453 00:16:07,950 00:16:09,780 - I'll see you later. - Bedroom's upstairs. - I'll see you later. - Bedroom's upstairs.
454 00:16:09,870 00:16:11,530 - Second one. - Got it. - Second one. - Got it.
455 00:16:11,620 00:16:13,410 Okay. Okay.
456 00:16:36,490 00:16:37,570 No. No.
457 00:16:46,160 00:16:47,660 You're welcome. You're welcome.
458 00:16:58,160 00:17:01,700 We did it. We did it! We did it. We did it!
459 00:17:04,240 00:17:06,080 You didn't expect an airport drop-off, did you? You didn't expect an airport drop-off, did you?
460 00:17:06,160 00:17:07,850 Nope. Nobody expects an airport drop-off anymore. Nope. Nobody expects an airport drop-off anymore.
461 00:17:07,874 00:17:08,714 Ah? Airport drop-off. Ah? Airport drop-off.
462 00:17:08,740 00:17:11,160 - All right, well, have fun skiing. - I will. - All right, well, have fun skiing. - I will.
463 00:17:11,240 00:17:12,740 I'll text you when I land. I'll text you when I land.
464 00:17:12,820 00:17:14,296 - Eh, not necessary. - I didn't really want to. - Eh, not necessary. - I didn't really want to.
465 00:17:14,320 00:17:15,886 - Yeah. - It's like an extra, unnecessary step. - Yeah. - It's like an extra, unnecessary step.
466 00:17:15,910 00:17:18,370 - I'll find out if you're dead. - Yeah, yeah. You'll know. - I'll find out if you're dead. - Yeah, yeah. You'll know.
467 00:17:18,450 00:17:19,966 - Yeah. - You got big plans for when I'm gone? - Yeah. - You got big plans for when I'm gone?
468 00:17:19,990 00:17:21,570 I'm gonna help a friend out I'm gonna help a friend out
469 00:17:21,660 00:17:23,280 with his, uh, with his new business. with his, uh, with his new business.
470 00:17:23,370 00:17:24,490 - Cool. - Yeah. - Cool. - Yeah.
471 00:17:24,570 00:17:26,410 - Thank you. - Bye. - Thank you. - Bye.
472 00:17:27,820 00:17:30,320 He told her you had a bleeding rectum? He told her you had a bleeding rectum?
473 00:17:30,410 00:17:32,450 Yeah. Now I gotta walk around Yeah. Now I gotta walk around
474 00:17:32,530 00:17:34,780 knowing this woman thinks I have a bleeding rectum. knowing this woman thinks I have a bleeding rectum.
475 00:17:34,870 00:17:35,910 I can't live like that. I can't live like that.
476 00:17:35,990 00:17:37,450 'Cause once that starts to spread, 'Cause once that starts to spread,
477 00:17:37,530 00:17:38,620 she's gonna tell everybody. she's gonna tell everybody.
478 00:17:38,700 00:17:39,990 And the worst part is, And the worst part is,
479 00:17:40,070 00:17:42,006 no one's ever gonna know that the bleeding stopped. no one's ever gonna know that the bleeding stopped.
480 00:17:42,030 00:17:44,490 People are thinkin', how does he stop the bleedin'? People are thinkin', how does he stop the bleedin'?
481 00:17:44,570 00:17:45,780 Is he wearin' a pad? Is he wearin' a pad?
482 00:17:45,870 00:17:47,630 Is he, is he a little boy, a little Dutch boy Is he, is he a little boy, a little Dutch boy
483 00:17:47,660 00:17:48,820 with his finger in his ass, with his finger in his ass,
484 00:17:48,910 00:17:50,870 with wooden shoes on, with socks to his knee, with wooden shoes on, with socks to his knee,
485 00:17:50,950 00:17:53,120 little shorts on, little vest, little top hat on, little shorts on, little vest, little top hat on,
486 00:17:53,200 00:17:54,950 with his finger in your damn rectum? with his finger in your damn rectum?
487 00:17:55,030 00:17:56,620 Right. Right. Right. Right.
488 00:17:56,700 00:17:58,620 Hey. There's a parking lot. Hey. There's a parking lot.
489 00:17:58,700 00:18:00,280 - Woo, let's go. - Yeah, let's do it. - Woo, let's go. - Yeah, let's do it.
490 00:18:00,370 00:18:03,780 Get to work, baby. "Gotta Go"! Get to work, baby. "Gotta Go"!
491 00:18:04,910 00:18:06,320 Can I help you guys? Can I help you guys?
492 00:18:06,410 00:18:08,660 We got, uh, we got a little business proposition for you. We got, uh, we got a little business proposition for you.
493 00:18:08,740 00:18:09,820 My name's Larry. My name's Larry.
494 00:18:09,910 00:18:11,240 - Hey, Larry. - This is Leon. - Hey, Larry. - This is Leon.
495 00:18:11,320 00:18:12,990 - I'm Bill. - Here. Here you go, Bill. - I'm Bill. - Here. Here you go, Bill.
496 00:18:13,070 00:18:14,280 - "Gotta Go"? - That's right. - "Gotta Go"? - That's right.
497 00:18:14,370 00:18:16,320 You ever sit in that booth at this time of day You ever sit in that booth at this time of day
498 00:18:16,410 00:18:18,170 and gotta go to the bathroom, what do you do? and gotta go to the bathroom, what do you do?
499 00:18:18,200 00:18:19,370 I just stay in the booth. I just stay in the booth.
500 00:18:19,450 00:18:21,200 I can't go anywhere, just gotta hold it in. I can't go anywhere, just gotta hold it in.
501 00:18:21,280 00:18:23,200 Until now. For a dollar a minute, Until now. For a dollar a minute,
502 00:18:23,280 00:18:25,070 five dollar minimum, I will sit in that booth five dollar minimum, I will sit in that booth
503 00:18:25,160 00:18:26,660 while you go and use the bathroom. while you go and use the bathroom.
504 00:18:26,740 00:18:28,370 - You're serious? - Very serious. - You're serious? - Very serious.
505 00:18:28,450 00:18:30,490 - Right now, I really have to go. - Go! - Right now, I really have to go. - Go!
506 00:18:30,570 00:18:31,660 Go ahead, brother. Go ahead, brother.
507 00:18:31,740 00:18:33,280 - I'll be right back. - My man. - I'll be right back. - My man.
508 00:18:33,370 00:18:34,990 - Thank you. - My man, I got you! - Thank you. - My man, I got you!
509 00:18:35,070 00:18:36,570 My man, you gotta go! My man, you gotta go!
510 00:18:36,660 00:18:37,870 Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
511 00:18:37,950 00:18:39,716 - Look at this shit, Larry. Woo! - Huh? Told ya. - Look at this shit, Larry. Woo! - Huh? Told ya.
512 00:18:39,740 00:18:42,700 - Did I tell ya? Huh? I told ya! - You fuckin' told me, Larry. - Did I tell ya? Huh? I told ya! - You fuckin' told me, Larry.
513 00:18:44,950 00:18:47,120 - You order a "Gotta Go"? - Yes, I gotta go. - You order a "Gotta Go"? - Yes, I gotta go.
514 00:18:47,200 00:18:48,700 - Okay. You go. - Thank you. - Okay. You go. - Thank you.
515 00:18:48,780 00:18:50,660 - Before I gotta go. Get on out of here. - Okay. - Before I gotta go. Get on out of here. - Okay.
516 00:18:51,070 00:18:53,740 - Gino! Go handle your business. - Bye. - Gino! Go handle your business. - Bye.
517 00:18:57,780 00:18:59,490 Hey. Excuse me. Hey. Excuse me.
518 00:18:59,570 00:19:02,200 - You just spat on my shoe. - It's a fuckin' spit shine. - You just spat on my shoe. - It's a fuckin' spit shine.
519 00:19:02,280 00:19:03,530 It's a... Stop! It's a... Stop!
520 00:19:03,620 00:19:05,070 Stop! Stop spitting on my shoe. Stop! Stop spitting on my shoe.
521 00:19:05,160 00:19:06,480 I'm not, I'm not paying for this. I'm not, I'm not paying for this.
522 00:19:06,530 00:19:08,070 - Okay? - Your tips are appreciated. - Okay? - Your tips are appreciated.
523 00:19:08,160 00:19:10,990 Give me a fuckin' break. I'm not giving you a cent. Give me a fuckin' break. I'm not giving you a cent.
524 00:19:11,070 00:19:14,160 Fuck it, then. I don't give a fuck. I don't work here. Fuck it, then. I don't give a fuck. I don't work here.
525 00:19:14,240 00:19:16,410 Woo! Woo!
526 00:19:16,490 00:19:18,740 Ha-ha! Woo! Ha-ha! Woo!
527 00:19:23,780 00:19:25,200 Thank you. Thank you.
528 00:19:25,280 00:19:26,506 - Thank you for having me. - Thank you. - Thank you for having me. - Thank you.
529 00:19:26,530 00:19:28,130 - Yes, indeed. - My pleasure to have you. - Yes, indeed. - My pleasure to have you.
530 00:19:28,160 00:19:29,636 - And by the way, your home is lovely. - You're welcome. - And by the way, your home is lovely. - You're welcome.
531 00:19:29,660 00:19:31,296 I should be complimenting you, too, because... I should be complimenting you, too, because...
532 00:19:31,320 00:19:32,820 Well, I did pick out, Well, I did pick out,
533 00:19:32,910 00:19:34,390 I would say, a majority of the stuff. I would say, a majority of the stuff.
534 00:19:34,450 00:19:36,370 Well, I can tell. Great taste. Well, I can tell. Great taste.
535 00:19:36,450 00:19:38,006 He's sitting down, Richard. He's sitting down, Richard.
536 00:19:38,030 00:19:39,176 Richard, he's sitting down. I can't... Richard, he's sitting down. I can't...
537 00:19:39,200 00:19:40,780 He's gotta sit somewhere. He's gotta sit somewhere.
538 00:19:40,870 00:19:42,466 - I can't... I don't want... - You know what? - I can't... I don't want... - You know what?
539 00:19:42,490 00:19:44,570 You can't sit on the arm. It's too thin. You can't sit on the arm. It's too thin.
540 00:19:44,660 00:19:47,120 - No, I like a thick, cushy arm. - I agree with you. - No, I like a thick, cushy arm. - I agree with you.
541 00:19:47,200 00:19:50,240 Excuse me, everyone, but dinner is ready. Excuse me, everyone, but dinner is ready.
542 00:19:50,320 00:19:52,410 - Please follow me into the dining room. - Okay. - Please follow me into the dining room. - Okay.
543 00:19:52,490 00:19:53,820 This way. This way.
544 00:19:53,910 00:19:56,990 We have assigned seating, so everyone find your name. We have assigned seating, so everyone find your name.
545 00:19:57,410 00:19:59,870 - Here we are. - Welcome. Here we are. - Here we are. - Welcome. Here we are.
546 00:19:59,950 00:20:01,410 Richard, darling, this way. Richard, darling, this way.
547 00:20:01,490 00:20:03,216 - Thank you, babe. - Next to me. - Thank you, babe. - Next to me.
548 00:20:03,240 00:20:04,570 - Thank you. - Michelle. - Thank you. - Michelle.
549 00:20:04,660 00:20:07,240 Wh-what's with the, uh, wooden chair here? Wh-what's with the, uh, wooden chair here?
550 00:20:07,320 00:20:08,990 Oh, you know, I'm so sorry. Oh, you know, I'm so sorry.
551 00:20:09,070 00:20:11,120 I-I... This set only comes with seven chairs. I-I... This set only comes with seven chairs.
552 00:20:11,200 00:20:12,920 - Seven chairs. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Seven chairs. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
553 00:20:12,990 00:20:14,620 - How unusual. - I was with her. - How unusual. - I was with her.
554 00:20:14,700 00:20:17,096 - I never heard of that before. - Yeah. You know what? It was odd. - I never heard of that before. - Yeah. You know what? It was odd.
555 00:20:17,120 00:20:19,570 It was weird, but I, I loved them, so, I went with it. It was weird, but I, I loved them, so, I went with it.
556 00:20:19,660 00:20:21,346 - Ah. - Hey, we're having a dinner. - Ah. - Hey, we're having a dinner.
557 00:20:21,370 00:20:23,716 - Come on. Let's enjoy ourselves. - Okay, sure. You're right. - Come on. Let's enjoy ourselves. - Okay, sure. You're right.
558 00:20:23,740 00:20:25,660 - Let's all enjoy. Let's enjoy. - Yes! - Let's all enjoy. Let's enjoy. - Yes!
559 00:20:25,740 00:20:27,260 - Let's enjoy. - Let's enjoy. - Let's enjoy. - Let's enjoy.
560 00:20:27,320 00:20:29,096 - That's the spirit. That's the spirit. - There we go. - That's the spirit. That's the spirit. - There we go.
561 00:20:29,120 00:20:30,596 - Yes, let's enjoy. - Bless the new table. - Yes, let's enjoy. - Bless the new table.
562 00:20:30,620 00:20:32,950 - About time. - Can I, uh, talk to you in the kitchen... - About time. - Can I, uh, talk to you in the kitchen...
563 00:20:33,030 00:20:34,136 - ...for a second? - Who, me? - ...for a second? - Who, me?
564 00:20:34,160 00:20:35,240 - Yeah. - What now? - Yeah. - What now?
565 00:20:35,320 00:20:37,030 You got me sitting in that wooden chair? You got me sitting in that wooden chair?
566 00:20:37,120 00:20:39,320 - It's embarrassing. - It's new furniture. - It's embarrassing. - It's new furniture.
567 00:20:39,410 00:20:41,780 She's afraid if you sit on it, you're gonna ruin it. She's afraid if you sit on it, you're gonna ruin it.
568 00:20:41,870 00:20:43,490 I don't have a bleeding rectum. Okay? I don't have a bleeding rectum. Okay?
569 00:20:43,570 00:20:44,990 And even if I did, And even if I did,
570 00:20:45,070 00:20:46,620 it's not gonna bleed onto the chair. it's not gonna bleed onto the chair.
571 00:20:46,700 00:20:49,370 How stupid! You could have said a million different things. How stupid! You could have said a million different things.
572 00:20:49,450 00:20:50,990 A rectum came to my mind first. A rectum came to my mind first.
573 00:20:51,070 00:20:53,510 You could have at least said I was better, that I was over it. You could have at least said I was better, that I was over it.
574 00:20:53,570 00:20:55,160 - I forgot. - All right. - I forgot. - All right.
575 00:20:55,240 00:20:56,320 The chair's in the house. The chair's in the house.
576 00:20:56,410 00:20:58,740 You tell the CEO that I want that chair. You tell the CEO that I want that chair.
577 00:20:58,820 00:21:00,240 You can't get one. You can't get one.
578 00:21:00,320 00:21:01,660 If I don't get a normal chair, If I don't get a normal chair,
579 00:21:01,740 00:21:04,490 I'm gonna blow this bullshit bleeding rectum story I'm gonna blow this bullshit bleeding rectum story
580 00:21:04,570 00:21:06,410 sky high. Okay? sky high. Okay?
581 00:21:06,490 00:21:08,070 So get me a normal chair. So get me a normal chair.
582 00:21:08,160 00:21:09,700 I'd really appreciate it. I'd really appreciate it.
583 00:21:09,780 00:21:11,490 All right, you'll get the chair. All right, you'll get the chair.
584 00:21:11,570 00:21:12,990 - Okay? - That's great. - Okay? - That's great.
585 00:21:13,070 00:21:15,070 Let's get the salads, and... Let's get the salads, and...
586 00:21:15,160 00:21:17,620 egg rolls out. We'll wait about 15 minutes for dinner? egg rolls out. We'll wait about 15 minutes for dinner?
587 00:21:17,700 00:21:19,280 Hey, Michelle. Hi, honey. Hey, Michelle. Hi, honey.
588 00:21:19,370 00:21:21,820 - Hi. What's going on? - Listen, I spoke to Larry, - Hi. What's going on? - Listen, I spoke to Larry,
589 00:21:21,910 00:21:23,950 and he's really embarrassed, and, uh... and he's really embarrassed, and, uh...
590 00:21:24,030 00:21:25,490 you gotta get him the chair. you gotta get him the chair.
591 00:21:25,570 00:21:27,756 - Oh, no. Absolutely not. - You have to get him a regular chair. - Oh, no. Absolutely not. - You have to get him a regular chair.
592 00:21:27,780 00:21:29,466 No, he's not... he's not sitting in the chair. No, he's not... he's not sitting in the chair.
593 00:21:29,490 00:21:32,450 - No. - He said he'd really appreciate it. - No. - He said he'd really appreciate it.
594 00:21:32,950 00:21:35,620 Really? He said that? He said he would appreciate it? Really? He said that? He said he would appreciate it?
595 00:21:35,700 00:21:37,700 Yeah, I wouldn't lie to you. Yeah, I wouldn't lie to you.
596 00:21:37,780 00:21:39,370 Okay. Okay, fine. Fine, fine. Okay. Okay, fine. Fine, fine.
597 00:21:39,450 00:21:41,450 Let him, let him sit in the chair, but... Let him, let him sit in the chair, but...
598 00:21:41,530 00:21:43,870 if he bleeds in my new chair, if he bleeds in my new chair,
599 00:21:43,950 00:21:45,950 you're in big fuckin' trouble. you're in big fuckin' trouble.
600 00:21:48,950 00:21:50,280 - Ooh. - Mm. - Ooh. - Mm.
601 00:21:50,370 00:21:51,820 Okay. So, Jon. Okay. So, Jon.
602 00:21:51,910 00:21:55,160 - You're playing a Larry-type character... - Yes. - You're playing a Larry-type character... - Yes.
603 00:21:55,240 00:21:56,660 ...in this movie. So, uh, ...in this movie. So, uh,
604 00:21:56,740 00:21:58,120 what does the character even do? what does the character even do?
605 00:21:58,200 00:22:00,030 - He's a sitcom writer. - Of course. - He's a sitcom writer. - Of course.
606 00:22:00,120 00:22:01,926 Uh, but the whole... Very successful. The whole thing is, Uh, but the whole... Very successful. The whole thing is,
607 00:22:01,950 00:22:04,700 it turns out that the thing he's most known for, it turns out that the thing he's most known for,
608 00:22:04,780 00:22:07,240 his big sitcom that he created, his big sitcom that he created,
609 00:22:07,320 00:22:09,700 he stole it from an Australian sitcom. he stole it from an Australian sitcom.
610 00:22:09,780 00:22:11,346 - What? - The guy's a total fraud. - What? - The guy's a total fraud.
611 00:22:11,370 00:22:12,450 He stole the idea. He stole the idea.
612 00:22:12,530 00:22:13,530 - He stole... - What? - He stole... - What?
613 00:22:13,620 00:22:14,910 What do you mean? Stole it? What do you mean? Stole it?
614 00:22:14,990 00:22:15,990 I didn't steal anything. I didn't steal anything.
615 00:22:16,070 00:22:17,240 No, in the movie, not you. No, in the movie, not you.
616 00:22:17,320 00:22:19,000 - It sort of implies that... - Yeah! - It sort of implies that... - Yeah!
617 00:22:19,030 00:22:20,546 - ...their show is stolen. - Yes! - ...their show is stolen. - Yes!
618 00:22:20,570 00:22:22,240 The character's name is Lawrence Dean. The character's name is Lawrence Dean.
619 00:22:22,320 00:22:23,966 - Lawrence Dean? What? - It isn't the same as Larry David. - Lawrence Dean? What? - It isn't the same as Larry David.
620 00:22:23,990 00:22:27,370 Hey, hey, hey. Guess what I found? I found a chair! Hey, hey, hey. Guess what I found? I found a chair!
621 00:22:27,450 00:22:28,740 Oh! Oh!
622 00:22:28,820 00:22:30,450 Yes! Hey! Yes! Hey!
623 00:22:30,530 00:22:33,120 - What a miracle. - It was in the garage. - What a miracle. - It was in the garage.
624 00:22:33,200 00:22:34,466 How come you didn't tell me? How come you didn't tell me?
625 00:22:34,490 00:22:35,886 Richard: I didn't know it was a chair. Richard: I didn't know it was a chair.
626 00:22:35,910 00:22:37,110 - It was all wrapped up. - Ooh. - It was all wrapped up. - Ooh.
627 00:22:37,160 00:22:38,410 It was wrapped up in plastic. It was wrapped up in plastic.
628 00:22:38,490 00:22:40,570 I thought it was, uh, my dead grandmother's ghost. I thought it was, uh, my dead grandmother's ghost.
629 00:22:40,660 00:22:43,260 - I didn't know what the fuck it was. - How could you not tell me? - I didn't know what the fuck it was. - How could you not tell me?
630 00:22:43,320 00:22:45,200 - What a lucky thing. - Yeah. - What a lucky thing. - Yeah.
631 00:22:45,280 00:22:47,660 Because they didn't know, and they just found it Because they didn't know, and they just found it
632 00:22:47,740 00:22:50,070 - in the garage. - It all worked out. Look at that! - in the garage. - It all worked out. Look at that!
633 00:22:50,160 00:22:52,410 - They're very comfortable, very pretty. - Yeah. - They're very comfortable, very pretty. - Yeah.
634 00:22:52,490 00:22:54,870 It's very bouncy. It's, it's kind of bouncy. It's very bouncy. It's, it's kind of bouncy.
635 00:22:54,950 00:22:56,136 Yeah. I love this chair. Yeah. I love this chair.
636 00:22:56,160 00:22:57,450 Now we can eat. Now we can eat.
637 00:22:57,530 00:22:59,570 - Want more of these? - Ah. Love Chinese. - Want more of these? - Ah. Love Chinese.
638 00:22:59,660 00:23:01,490 Thank you. Thank you.
639 00:23:02,320 00:23:06,160 You guys, do you pick up the rice bowl and eat it like this? You guys, do you pick up the rice bowl and eat it like this?
640 00:23:06,240 00:23:08,870 Or do you start on the table, Or do you start on the table,
641 00:23:08,950 00:23:11,070 and then pick it up, pick the rice up? and then pick it up, pick the rice up?
642 00:23:11,160 00:23:12,620 You pick up the bowl first. You pick up the bowl first.
643 00:23:12,700 00:23:14,136 Oh, you pick it right... eat it right out of the bowl. Oh, you pick it right... eat it right out of the bowl.
644 00:23:14,160 00:23:15,386 Yeah, eat right out of the bowl. Yeah, eat right out of the bowl.
645 00:23:15,410 00:23:17,240 It's just like eating it over the garbage can. It's just like eating it over the garbage can.
646 00:23:17,320 00:23:19,120 - Huh? - Yeah, yeah. In a way. - Huh? - Yeah, yeah. In a way.
647 00:23:19,200 00:23:20,780 Oh, Michelle. Oh, Michelle.
648 00:23:20,870 00:23:23,740 - The walnut shrimp is scrumptious. - Mm. - The walnut shrimp is scrumptious. - Mm.
649 00:23:23,820 00:23:24,990 Scrumptious? Scrumptious?
650 00:23:25,070 00:23:27,120 - You think so? - It's really good. - You think so? - It's really good.
651 00:23:27,780 00:23:30,160 - What are we waiting for? - I mean, come on. Come on. - What are we waiting for? - I mean, come on. Come on.
652 00:23:30,910 00:23:32,716 - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - What are you doing? - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - What are you doing?
653 00:23:32,740 00:23:34,209 What are you doing? I want the walnut shrimp? What are you doing? I want the walnut shrimp?
654 00:23:34,233 00:23:34,966 What are you doing? What are you doing?
655 00:23:34,990 00:23:38,160 I'm turning the Lazy Susan the way it should be turned. I'm turning the Lazy Susan the way it should be turned.
656 00:23:38,240 00:23:40,030 - In order. - No, no, no, no, no. - In order. - No, no, no, no, no.
657 00:23:40,120 00:23:42,780 A Lazy Susan is like a roundabout, okay? A Lazy Susan is like a roundabout, okay?
658 00:23:42,870 00:23:45,030 I'm sorry, I don't think you're right. I'm sorry, I don't think you're right.
659 00:23:45,120 00:23:45,644 Okay, can I... Okay, can I...
660 00:23:45,668 00:23:46,886 I don't think you know how a roundabout works. I don't think you know how a roundabout works.
661 00:23:46,910 00:23:48,546 It's first come, first serve. That's a roundabout. It's first come, first serve. That's a roundabout.
662 00:23:48,570 00:23:50,990 - I do know how a roundabout works. - I don't think you do. - I do know how a roundabout works. - I don't think you do.
663 00:23:51,070 00:23:53,280 - It works like a Lazy Susan. - No! - It works like a Lazy Susan. - No!
664 00:23:53,370 00:23:55,136 - The cars... - That's now how a lazy Susan works. - The cars... - That's now how a lazy Susan works.
665 00:23:55,160 00:23:56,756 - Can I ask you a favor, please? - It's how a lazy Susan... - Can I ask you a favor, please? - It's how a lazy Susan...
666 00:23:56,780 00:23:58,450 Can I ask you both a favor? Can I ask you both a favor?
667 00:23:58,530 00:24:01,370 Can you please not use that term "Lazy Susan"? Can you please not use that term "Lazy Susan"?
668 00:24:01,450 00:24:04,160 It's got racist and sexist connotations, It's got racist and sexist connotations,
669 00:24:04,240 00:24:05,620 and I'd really prefer and I'd really prefer
670 00:24:05,700 00:24:07,990 - you just not call it that. - Whoa. - you just not call it that. - Whoa.
671 00:24:08,070 00:24:09,370 - Lazy Susan? - Yes. - Lazy Susan? - Yes.
672 00:24:09,450 00:24:11,030 Who's that racist towards? Susans? Who's that racist towards? Susans?
673 00:24:11,120 00:24:13,136 - That's crazy. Where'd you get that? - Okay. - That's crazy. Where'd you get that? - Okay.
674 00:24:13,160 00:24:15,120 I would just like you to not use the term. I would just like you to not use the term.
675 00:24:15,200 00:24:16,920 You're right. You know what? It should be... You're right. You know what? It should be...
676 00:24:16,990 00:24:19,006 We should definitely start using the Ambitious Susan. We should definitely start using the Ambitious Susan.
677 00:24:19,030 00:24:21,320 Yes, yes. Please spin the Indefatigable Susan. Yes, yes. Please spin the Indefatigable Susan.
678 00:24:21,410 00:24:25,070 Oh, can we have the Multifaceted Susan my way, please? Oh, can we have the Multifaceted Susan my way, please?
679 00:24:25,280 00:24:27,030 Yeah, spin the Industrious Susan. Yeah, spin the Industrious Susan.
680 00:24:27,120 00:24:29,200 Ooh, can you spin Ambidextrous Susan, please. Ooh, can you spin Ambidextrous Susan, please.
681 00:24:29,280 00:24:30,756 - Oh, the Ambidextrous Susan. - Yes, both ways. - Oh, the Ambidextrous Susan. - Yes, both ways.
682 00:24:30,780 00:24:32,490 - Both ways. - So funny. You want it? - Both ways. - So funny. You want it?
683 00:24:32,570 00:24:35,570 - You want it? You want your stuff? - Whoa! - You want it? You want your stuff? - Whoa!
684 00:24:37,620 00:24:39,410 Whoa! Whoa!
685 00:24:45,490 00:24:47,160 Oh, man. Oh, man.
686 00:24:48,070 00:24:50,530 - Oh, boy. - What did you do? - Oh, boy. - What did you do?
687 00:24:50,620 00:24:52,426 - What? I, I didn't... - What did you do? - What? I, I didn't... - What did you do?
688 00:24:52,450 00:24:55,200 - She spun the thing around like that. - The thing, it was too fast. - She spun the thing around like that. - The thing, it was too fast.
689 00:24:55,280 00:24:58,530 You wouldn't shut up! You wouldn't shut up!
690 00:24:58,620 00:25:01,070 I don't give a shit! I want you out! I don't give a shit! I want you out!
691 00:25:01,160 00:25:03,990 - You're kicking me out? - Yeah. And you, - You're kicking me out? - Yeah. And you,
692 00:25:04,070 00:25:05,910 Larry David Junior, you can go, too. Larry David Junior, you can go, too.
693 00:25:05,990 00:25:07,740 - You're kicking me out. - Yes, Jon Hamm. - You're kicking me out. - Yes, Jon Hamm.
694 00:25:07,820 00:25:09,666 Hey, you're getting kicked out. Look at that, beautiful. Hey, you're getting kicked out. Look at that, beautiful.
695 00:25:09,690 00:25:10,466 What's up, huh? Hey. What's up, huh? Hey.
696 00:25:10,490 00:25:12,280 Out! Out!
697 00:25:12,700 00:25:14,990 - All right. - All right. - All right. - All right.
698 00:25:15,070 00:25:17,240 - Okay. - We should, uh... - Okay. - We should, uh...
699 00:25:17,320 00:25:18,990 - Eh. - Eh. - Eh. - Eh.
700 00:25:27,490 00:25:28,820 Hey. Hey.
701 00:25:28,910 00:25:31,070 Larry. Oh, thank God you answered. Larry. Oh, thank God you answered.
702 00:25:31,160 00:25:33,320 I just got in a huge accident on Mount... I just got in a huge accident on Mount...
703 00:25:33,410 00:25:34,780 Wha? Wha?
704 00:25:34,870 00:25:36,910 It was a ski school of children. It was a ski school of children.
705 00:25:36,950 00:25:39,120 They just flew right in front of me. Ow! They just flew right in front of me. Ow!
706 00:25:39,200 00:25:41,820 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
707 00:25:41,910 00:25:43,320 They're taking me to a hospital, They're taking me to a hospital,
708 00:25:43,410 00:25:45,006 and I don't... I just don't know where it is or... and I don't... I just don't know where it is or...
709 00:25:45,030 00:25:47,256 - I don't know this town. - Okay, don't worry about a thing. - I don't know this town. - Okay, don't worry about a thing.
710 00:25:47,280 00:25:48,756 I'll be on the next flight to Denver. I'll be on the next flight to Denver.
711 00:25:48,780 00:25:50,620 - You would do that for me? - Of course. - You would do that for me? - Of course.
712 00:25:50,700 00:25:53,450 Oh, my God, Larry. You really are a prince. Oh, my God, Larry. You really are a prince.
713 00:25:53,530 00:25:55,620 Don't worry. I'm calling my travel agent right now. Don't worry. I'm calling my travel agent right now.
714 00:25:55,700 00:25:58,370 Thank you so, so much. Ow! Thank you so, so much. Ow!
715 00:25:58,450 00:26:00,160 Westside Travel and Tour. Westside Travel and Tour.
716 00:26:00,240 00:26:01,215 Eliza speaking. Eliza speaking.
717 00:26:01,239 00:26:03,006 Oh, hi. It's Larry David. I have an emergency. Oh, hi. It's Larry David. I have an emergency.
718 00:26:03,030 00:26:05,120 I need to get on the next flight to Denver, please. I need to get on the next flight to Denver, please.
719 00:26:05,200 00:26:07,280 I've got one leaving in an hour and 40 minutes. I've got one leaving in an hour and 40 minutes.
720 00:26:07,370 00:26:09,240 Perfect. Fantastic. Book it. Perfect. Fantastic. Book it.
721 00:26:09,320 00:26:11,346 Oh, you're lucky. There's only one seat left. Oh, you're lucky. There's only one seat left.
722 00:26:11,370 00:26:13,570 19E. 19E.
723 00:26:15,200 00:26:16,620 19E. 19E.
724 00:26:16,700 00:26:19,740 It's a coach seat. Oh, it's a middle seat. It's a coach seat. Oh, it's a middle seat.
725 00:26:21,570 00:26:23,280 Shall I book it? Shall I book it?
726 00:26:23,370 00:26:25,370 Any other flights going to Denver? Any other flights going to Denver?
727 00:26:25,450 00:26:27,410 We've got a two, a four, We've got a two, a four,
728 00:26:27,490 00:26:28,820 and a six. and a six.
729 00:26:28,910 00:26:32,990 Anything in rows... one through four? Anything in rows... one through four?
730 00:26:33,070 00:26:35,530 The only thing left is coach. The only thing left is coach.
731 00:26:36,660 00:26:37,780 Okay. Okay.
732 00:26:38,910 00:26:40,990 Give me the next first-class flight to Denver. Give me the next first-class flight to Denver.
733 00:26:41,070 00:26:43,490 It's not until 9:00 p.m. It's not until 9:00 p.m.
734 00:26:43,570 00:26:45,740 9:00 p.m. Perfect. I'll take it. Book it. 9:00 p.m. Perfect. I'll take it. Book it.
735 00:26:45,820 00:26:47,200 Very well. Very well.
736 00:26:55,780 00:26:56,620 Hey. Hey.
737 00:26:56,700 00:26:57,530 Hey, Larry. Hey, Larry.
738 00:26:57,620 00:26:58,780 I got a "Gotta Go" emergency. I got a "Gotta Go" emergency.
739 00:26:58,870 00:27:00,450 I'm at the shoe shine shop, right? I'm at the shoe shine shop, right?
740 00:27:00,530 00:27:02,240 And the guy must have food poisoning. And the guy must have food poisoning.
741 00:27:02,320 00:27:04,000 He's stuck on the fuckin' toilet right now. He's stuck on the fuckin' toilet right now.
742 00:27:04,070 00:27:05,370 So? What do you want me to do? So? What do you want me to do?
743 00:27:05,450 00:27:07,006 I need you to cover for me at the news stand. I need you to cover for me at the news stand.
744 00:27:07,030 00:27:08,830 The guy relies on me for his six o'clock piss. The guy relies on me for his six o'clock piss.
745 00:27:08,870 00:27:11,620 - I'll call you back. - Okay. Okay. - I'll call you back. - Okay. Okay.
746 00:27:11,700 00:27:13,620 - Hey. - Yeah. - Hey. - Yeah.
747 00:27:13,700 00:27:16,030 I need you to do me a favor. Actually, do Leon a favor. I need you to do me a favor. Actually, do Leon a favor.
748 00:27:16,120 00:27:18,280 He needs somebody to fill in for him at the news stand. He needs somebody to fill in for him at the news stand.
749 00:27:18,370 00:27:20,030 - For the "Gotta Go" app? - Yeah. - For the "Gotta Go" app? - Yeah.
750 00:27:20,120 00:27:21,120 I can't do it. I can't do it.
751 00:27:21,200 00:27:22,740 No, no. You gotta do it. I can't do it, No, no. You gotta do it. I can't do it,
752 00:27:22,820 00:27:24,096 because I have to fly to Denver. because I have to fly to Denver.
753 00:27:24,120 00:27:26,530 - I already got my sweats on. - So what? - I already got my sweats on. - So what?
754 00:27:26,620 00:27:28,060 Yeah, well, once I got my sweats on, Yeah, well, once I got my sweats on,
755 00:27:28,120 00:27:30,370 there's no going back. I got my sweats on. there's no going back. I got my sweats on.
756 00:27:30,450 00:27:32,280 What is it, an immutable law of physics? What is it, an immutable law of physics?
757 00:27:32,370 00:27:33,756 Once you're in sweats, you can't get out? Once you're in sweats, you can't get out?
758 00:27:33,780 00:27:34,780 Newton's Law of Sweats? Newton's Law of Sweats?
759 00:27:34,820 00:27:37,990 It's Jeff Greene's Law of Day Over. It's Jeff Greene's Law of Day Over.
760 00:27:38,070 00:27:39,910 Listen, I'd really appreciate it. Listen, I'd really appreciate it.
761 00:27:39,990 00:27:42,530 I'm in my sweats! I'm in my sweats!
762 00:27:42,620 00:27:44,620 - Hello? - Larry, what the fuck you doin', man? - Hello? - Larry, what the fuck you doin', man?
763 00:27:44,700 00:27:46,346 - Goddamn! - All right, okay! - Goddamn! - All right, okay!
764 00:27:46,370 00:27:48,410 Shut the fuck up! I'll come! Shut the fuck up! I'll come!
765 00:27:48,490 00:27:50,280 Thank you. Thank you, by the way. Thank you. Thank you, by the way.
766 00:27:50,370 00:27:53,160 - Wow. - God bless you. - Wow. - God bless you.
767 00:27:58,240 00:27:59,280 Hey. Hey.
768 00:27:59,370 00:28:01,160 - Hey. I'm from "Gotta Go." - Larry? - Hey. I'm from "Gotta Go." - Larry?
769 00:28:01,240 00:28:03,240 - Yeah. Yeah. - Oh. - Yeah. Yeah. - Oh.
770 00:28:03,320 00:28:06,070 - I really gotta go. - Okay. Okay. Hurry up. - I really gotta go. - Okay. Okay. Hurry up.
771 00:28:06,160 00:28:07,410 - Okay. I'll be quick. - Okay. - Okay. I'll be quick. - Okay.
772 00:28:07,490 00:28:09,030 - Okay. Thank you. - Yeah. Hurry up. - Okay. Thank you. - Yeah. Hurry up.
773 00:28:09,120 00:28:10,450 Okay. Okay.
774 00:28:13,370 00:28:14,700 Fuck. Fuck.
775 00:28:17,280 00:28:18,410 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
776 00:28:18,490 00:28:20,120 Hello? Hello?
777 00:28:20,200 00:28:21,966 The news stand guy left 15 minutes ago. The news stand guy left 15 minutes ago.
778 00:28:21,990 00:28:22,870 Hasn't come back. Hasn't come back.
779 00:28:22,950 00:28:24,740 I gotta catch a plane to Denver. I gotta catch a plane to Denver.
780 00:28:24,820 00:28:26,280 Hey, no browsing. Hey, no browsing.
781 00:28:26,370 00:28:27,950 Hey, do you carry Vegan Living? Hey, do you carry Vegan Living?
782 00:28:28,030 00:28:29,910 Who gives a shit? Get the hell out of here. Who gives a shit? Get the hell out of here.
783 00:28:29,990 00:28:31,280 You gotta come and relieve me. You gotta come and relieve me.
784 00:28:31,370 00:28:33,160 I can't, Larry. I'm at the shoe shine stand. I can't, Larry. I'm at the shoe shine stand.
785 00:28:33,240 00:28:34,870 This guy's taking a $40 shit. This guy's taking a $40 shit.
786 00:28:34,950 00:28:37,231 Aw! All right, I'll get somebody else. Aw! All right, I'll get somebody else.
787 00:28:39,990 00:28:41,950 Thanks very much. Hey. Thanks very much. Hey.
788 00:28:42,030 00:28:43,030 Hey! Hey!
789 00:28:43,120 00:28:44,870 - I got your back. - Oh, my God. - I got your back. - Oh, my God.
790 00:28:44,950 00:28:46,830 - You are a lifesaver. - No worries, no worries. - You are a lifesaver. - No worries, no worries.
791 00:28:46,870 00:28:49,280 - Thank you so much. - Not at all. - Thank you so much. - Not at all.
792 00:28:49,370 00:28:50,620 Jonny. Jonny.
793 00:28:50,700 00:28:52,320 Really appreciate this. Really appreciate this.
794 00:28:52,410 00:28:54,070 Hey, no prob... Hey, no prob...
795 00:28:54,160 00:28:55,950 - Ah? - Ah? - Ah? - Ah?
796 00:28:56,030 00:28:57,740 I get it. I get it.
797 00:29:02,700 00:29:04,200 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
798 00:29:06,740 00:29:08,120 Excuse me, I'm so sorry. Excuse me, I'm so sorry.
799 00:29:08,200 00:29:09,740 I got seven minutes to catch the plane. I got seven minutes to catch the plane.
800 00:29:09,820 00:29:11,530 It sounds like a lie, but it's not. It sounds like a lie, but it's not.
801 00:29:11,620 00:29:12,870 I'm not a cutter by nature. I'm not a cutter by nature.
802 00:29:12,950 00:29:15,160 Um, my, my girlfriend got in a skiing accident. Um, my, my girlfriend got in a skiing accident.
803 00:29:15,240 00:29:16,910 You know, she's my ex-wife's sister. You know, she's my ex-wife's sister.
804 00:29:16,990 00:29:18,820 We don't have to get into that, but, We don't have to get into that, but,
805 00:29:18,910 00:29:20,410 nevertheless, thank you so much. nevertheless, thank you so much.
806 00:29:20,490 00:29:22,530 - I really appreciate it. - Next. - I really appreciate it. - Next.
807 00:29:22,620 00:29:23,910 Are you together? Are you together?
808 00:29:25,950 00:29:27,200 No. No.
809 00:29:27,740 00:29:29,120 No. No.
810 00:29:30,200 00:29:31,740 Why would you think we were together? Why would you think we were together?
811 00:29:31,820 00:29:33,030 No reason. No reason.
812 00:29:33,120 00:29:35,120 - No, no reason at all? - No reason? - No, no reason at all? - No reason?
813 00:29:35,200 00:29:36,700 I just assumed you were a couple... I just assumed you were a couple...
814 00:29:36,780 00:29:38,216 - You assumed? - You assumed... - You assumed? - You assumed...
815 00:29:38,240 00:29:40,160 - Oh, really? - You assumed we're a couple. We... - Oh, really? - You assumed we're a couple. We...
816 00:29:40,200 00:29:41,886 I mean, I've never... I mean, nice to meet you. I mean, I've never... I mean, nice to meet you.
817 00:29:41,910 00:29:44,320 - Nice to meet you, too. - Yeah, see, look, we just met. - Nice to meet you, too. - Yeah, see, look, we just met.
818 00:29:44,410 00:29:45,780 Honest mistake. Honest mistake.
819 00:29:45,870 00:29:47,870 But why did you make the mistake? But why did you make the mistake?
820 00:29:47,950 00:29:49,141 That's what I'm wondering. That's what I'm wondering.
821 00:29:49,166 00:29:51,684 Any two people standing together could be a couple. Any two people standing together could be a couple.
822 00:29:51,740 00:29:53,240 Two men, two women. Two men, two women.
823 00:29:53,320 00:29:55,530 If I saw a man wearing a yarmulke, If I saw a man wearing a yarmulke,
824 00:29:55,620 00:29:57,740 standing next to a woman wearing a kerchief standing next to a woman wearing a kerchief
825 00:29:57,820 00:29:59,570 and carrying a mahjong set, and carrying a mahjong set,
826 00:29:59,660 00:30:00,980 I would think they were a couple. I would think they were a couple.
827 00:30:01,030 00:30:03,280 - What? - It's just a natural assumption. - What? - It's just a natural assumption.
828 00:30:03,370 00:30:05,200 Anyway, I'd love to continue our discussion. Anyway, I'd love to continue our discussion.
829 00:30:05,280 00:30:07,386 It's been very interesting. I have to catch a flight to Denver. It's been very interesting. I have to catch a flight to Denver.
830 00:30:07,410 00:30:09,107 Eh, there's a lot of black people in Denver. Eh, there's a lot of black people in Denver.
831 00:30:09,131 00:30:10,224 Yeah. Tell 'em we said hi. Yeah. Tell 'em we said hi.
832 00:30:10,280 00:30:11,660 Hello, sir. Boarding pass? Hello, sir. Boarding pass?
833 00:30:13,450 00:30:15,820 You've been randomly selected for a security search, sir. You've been randomly selected for a security search, sir.
834 00:30:15,910 00:30:18,530 What? What? Secure... What are you talking about? What? What? Secure... What are you talking about?
835 00:30:18,620 00:30:20,756 - Can someone get my spot? Thank you. - Oh, please. - Can someone get my spot? Thank you. - Oh, please.
836 00:30:20,780 00:30:23,240 Are you kidding me? Oh, they couldn't be a couple. Are you kidding me? Oh, they couldn't be a couple.
837 00:30:23,320 00:30:24,320 Oh, it's crazy. Oh, it's crazy.
838 00:30:24,410 00:30:25,636 It has nothing to do with that, sir. It has nothing to do with that, sir.
839 00:30:25,660 00:30:28,400 - Oh, it has nothing to do with that? - No. - Oh, it has nothing to do with that? - No.
840 00:30:28,425 00:30:29,926 Come on, I'm gonna miss my flight to Denver. Come on, I'm gonna miss my flight to Denver.
841 00:30:29,950 00:30:32,030 - Enjoy that search. Yeah. - Enjoy it. - Enjoy that search. Yeah. - Enjoy it.
842 00:30:32,120 00:30:33,320 Honestly, if you're looking... Honestly, if you're looking...
843 00:30:33,370 00:30:34,796 I wouldn't look in the food and wine section. I wouldn't look in the food and wine section.
844 00:30:34,820 00:30:36,910 I would look... Los Angeles magazine. I would look... Los Angeles magazine.
845 00:30:36,990 00:30:37,910 Right down there. Right down there.
846 00:30:37,990 00:30:39,370 You don't find what you need, You don't find what you need,
847 00:30:39,450 00:30:41,210 - look online. Everything's online. - Thanks. - look online. Everything's online. - Thanks.
848 00:30:41,280 00:30:42,990 Excuse me, ma'am. No browsing. Excuse me, ma'am. No browsing.
849 00:30:43,070 00:30:45,240 No, I'm just looking for an article that Jay Inslee... No, I'm just looking for an article that Jay Inslee...
850 00:30:45,320 00:30:46,450 Oh. Oh.
851 00:30:46,530 00:30:48,240 - Oh, hi. - Cheryl. - Oh, hi. - Cheryl.
852 00:30:48,320 00:30:49,570 - Jon. - That's me. - Jon. - That's me.
853 00:30:49,660 00:30:50,700 - Hamm. Hi. - Yes. - Hamm. Hi. - Yes.
854 00:30:50,780 00:30:51,870 What are you doing here? What are you doing here?
855 00:30:51,950 00:30:53,546 I'm just watching the news stand for Larry. I'm just watching the news stand for Larry.
856 00:30:53,570 00:30:55,730 He had to... He had to jump out and run to the airport. He had to... He had to jump out and run to the airport.
857 00:30:55,780 00:30:58,950 I'm sorry. Does Larry own a news stand now? I'm sorry. Does Larry own a news stand now?
858 00:30:59,030 00:31:00,570 Great question. Great question.
859 00:31:00,660 00:31:02,490 - I don't have an answer. - Okay. - I don't have an answer. - Okay.
860 00:31:02,570 00:31:05,450 - So you are Larry's ex-wife. Wow. - Yeah. I know. - So you are Larry's ex-wife. Wow. - Yeah. I know.
861 00:31:05,530 00:31:08,200 - I find that fascinating. - Do you? - I find that fascinating. - Do you?
862 00:31:08,280 00:31:10,780 Oh, my gosh. Spending the last few days with him? Oh, my gosh. Spending the last few days with him?
863 00:31:10,870 00:31:13,620 - I gotta know everything. - It's a lot. - I gotta know everything. - It's a lot.
864 00:31:13,700 00:31:15,950 Well, do you wanna just go get some coffee? Well, do you wanna just go get some coffee?
865 00:31:16,030 00:31:18,120 Sit down and talk? Sit down and talk?
866 00:31:18,200 00:31:20,410 - Now? - Well, yeah. Why not? - Now? - Well, yeah. Why not?
867 00:31:20,490 00:31:22,370 - Okay. Uh... - Let's go. - Okay. Uh... - Let's go.
868 00:31:23,280 00:31:25,120 I mean, do you really wanna hear... I mean, do you really wanna hear...
869 00:31:25,200 00:31:27,280 Are you kidding me? I wanna hear everything. Are you kidding me? I wanna hear everything.
870 00:31:27,370 00:31:29,620 You might be bored. Ah, 17 years... You might be bored. Ah, 17 years...
871 00:31:29,700 00:31:31,200 Wow. Wow.
872 00:31:39,700 00:31:41,410 Do you recognize that signature? Do you recognize that signature?
873 00:31:41,490 00:31:42,966 He killed the motherfucker 'cause the waffles He killed the motherfucker 'cause the waffles
874 00:31:42,990 00:31:44,160 had expired and shit. had expired and shit.
875 00:31:44,240 00:31:46,870 Gonna sit in that room and get interrogated... Gonna sit in that room and get interrogated...
876 00:31:46,950 00:31:48,990 Hey. Okay? You happy? You happy? Hey. Okay? You happy? You happy?
877 00:31:49,070 00:31:50,790 - I hope you're happy. - What the fuck, man? - I hope you're happy. - What the fuck, man?
878 00:31:50,870 00:31:52,700 - I missed my flight to Denver. - Sorry. - I missed my flight to Denver. - Sorry.
879 00:31:52,780 00:31:54,796 Oh, because you wouldn't get out of your sweat pants. Oh, because you wouldn't get out of your sweat pants.
880 00:31:54,820 00:31:56,570 Suppose there was an emergency? Then what? Suppose there was an emergency? Then what?
881 00:31:56,660 00:31:57,796 You take the sweat pants off? You take the sweat pants off?
882 00:31:57,820 00:31:59,120 Well, what kind of an emergency? Well, what kind of an emergency?
883 00:31:59,200 00:32:01,620 Suppose, uh, your friend was in a car accident. Suppose, uh, your friend was in a car accident.
884 00:32:01,700 00:32:04,490 - Which friend? - Me. I got hit by a car. - Which friend? - Me. I got hit by a car.
885 00:32:04,570 00:32:05,990 How did you get hit by a car? How did you get hit by a car?
886 00:32:06,070 00:32:07,570 I, I got a piece of pizza, and, I, I got a piece of pizza, and,
887 00:32:07,660 00:32:09,070 and I was crossing the street, and I was crossing the street,
888 00:32:09,160 00:32:10,490 and the, the cheese fell off, and the, the cheese fell off,
889 00:32:10,570 00:32:12,046 and I bent down to pick up the cheese, and I bent down to pick up the cheese,
890 00:32:12,070 00:32:13,370 and I got hit by a car. and I got hit by a car.
891 00:32:13,450 00:32:15,676 Who the hell picks up cheese in the middle of the street? Who the hell picks up cheese in the middle of the street?
892 00:32:15,700 00:32:17,346 I don't want to litter so I picked up the cheese I don't want to litter so I picked up the cheese
893 00:32:17,370 00:32:18,820 and I put it in the garbage can. and I put it in the garbage can.
894 00:32:18,910 00:32:21,160 No. You were gonna pick up the cheese, No. You were gonna pick up the cheese,
895 00:32:21,240 00:32:22,740 and put it on your pizza and eat it. and put it on your pizza and eat it.
896 00:32:22,820 00:32:24,926 Bullshit. I was not. I was gonna throw it in the garbage. Bullshit. I was not. I was gonna throw it in the garbage.
897 00:32:24,950 00:32:26,160 - You don't know. - I know. - You don't know. - I know.
898 00:32:26,240 00:32:27,506 - What do you know? No, you don't! - I know. - What do you know? No, you don't! - I know.
899 00:32:27,530 00:32:29,160 And you, fuckstick, don't ever ask me And you, fuckstick, don't ever ask me
900 00:32:29,240 00:32:31,386 to man any post for you again, 'cause I'm not doin' it! to man any post for you again, 'cause I'm not doin' it!
901 00:32:31,410 00:32:33,530 Just consider me in sweatpants all the time. Just consider me in sweatpants all the time.
902 00:32:33,620 00:32:35,950 Fuck that job. I quit that shit already. Fuck that job. I quit that shit already.
903 00:32:36,030 00:32:39,030 - Wow. That was fast. - Fuck, yeah. I'm in and out. - Wow. That was fast. - Fuck, yeah. I'm in and out.
904 00:32:39,120 00:32:40,950 All right, I gotta go text Becky now All right, I gotta go text Becky now
905 00:32:41,030 00:32:42,796 and tell her I missed my flight 'cause of you two assholes, and tell her I missed my flight 'cause of you two assholes,
906 00:32:42,820 00:32:44,256 and tell her I'll be on the first flight out to Denver and tell her I'll be on the first flight out to Denver
907 00:32:44,280 00:32:45,796 tomorrow morning. Actually, second flight. tomorrow morning. Actually, second flight.
908 00:32:45,820 00:32:47,240 Why second flight? Why second flight?
909 00:32:47,320 00:32:48,870 First class. First class.
910 00:32:48,950 00:32:50,450 Yeah. Yeah.
911 00:32:51,070 00:32:54,030 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
912 00:32:54,120 00:32:56,370 Oh, my God. What? Oh, my God. What?
913 00:32:56,450 00:32:58,280 Oh, my... Larry! Oh, my... Larry!
914 00:32:58,370 00:32:59,780 Larry! Larry!
915 00:33:01,200 00:33:02,870 Larry! Larry!
916 00:33:02,950 00:33:04,570 Oh, look. Oh, look.
917 00:33:04,660 00:33:05,700 Latte Larry's. Latte Larry's.
918 00:33:05,780 00:33:07,200 - Yeah. Yeah. - Spite store. - Yeah. Yeah. - Spite store.
919 00:33:07,280 00:33:08,386 - I heard about this. - Yeah. - I heard about this. - Yeah.
920 00:33:08,410 00:33:09,990 - This must be, uh... - Mocha Joe's. - This must be, uh... - Mocha Joe's.
921 00:33:10,070 00:33:11,070 There we go. There we go.
922 00:33:11,120 00:33:12,256 Okay, don't tell Larry we did this. Okay, don't tell Larry we did this.
923 00:33:12,280 00:33:14,160 You got it. You got it.
924 00:33:14,240 00:33:17,280 I've never been in this shop. I just... I've never been in this shop. I just...
925 00:33:17,370 00:33:19,910 It's kind of a wobbly table, you know? It's kind of a wobbly table, you know?
926 00:33:19,990 00:33:21,740 It's like my least favorite thing. It's like my least favorite thing.
927 00:33:21,820 00:33:23,136 - It's all right. - Here we go. - It's all right. - Here we go.
928 00:33:23,160 00:33:25,006 - Two cups of coffee. - Hey. Thank you very much. - Two cups of coffee. - Hey. Thank you very much.
929 00:33:25,030 00:33:27,296 Thank you so much for coming in, Mr. Hamm. How's that scone? Thank you so much for coming in, Mr. Hamm. How's that scone?
930 00:33:27,320 00:33:28,950 Uh, not so much a scone. Uh, not so much a scone.
931 00:33:29,410 00:33:31,950 - No, it's a scone. - Nah, this is like a muffin. - No, it's a scone. - Nah, this is like a muffin.
932 00:33:32,030 00:33:34,410 I mean, I'm just saying, like, there's kind of a specific I mean, I'm just saying, like, there's kind of a specific
933 00:33:34,490 00:33:36,596 quality that a scone has that's sort of dry and crumbly. quality that a scone has that's sort of dry and crumbly.
934 00:33:36,620 00:33:39,030 This is sweet. It's a little more like a muffin than a scone. This is sweet. It's a little more like a muffin than a scone.
935 00:33:39,120 00:33:40,990 What you are describing is a stale scone. What you are describing is a stale scone.
936 00:33:41,070 00:33:43,910 - That's a, that's fresh one. - I'm not sure you know what a... - That's a, that's fresh one. - I'm not sure you know what a...
937 00:33:43,990 00:33:45,240 definition of a scone is. definition of a scone is.
938 00:33:45,320 00:33:47,280 It looks good. I think, um... It looks good. I think, um...
939 00:33:47,370 00:33:48,400 I'm just saying, I'm saying it's a muffin. I'm just saying, I'm saying it's a muffin.
940 00:33:48,424 00:33:50,386 - Let's not worry about it. - You want me to take it away? - Let's not worry about it. - You want me to take it away?
941 00:33:50,410 00:33:51,620 No, I'm gonna keep the muffin. No, I'm gonna keep the muffin.
942 00:33:51,700 00:33:53,136 - Thank you very much. - You enjoy the scone. - Thank you very much. - You enjoy the scone.
943 00:33:53,160 00:33:54,796 - Yeah, I'll enjoy the muffin. - I'm good. - Yeah, I'll enjoy the muffin. - I'm good.
944 00:33:54,820 00:33:56,926 - Thank you, that's great. Thank you. - Okay. Awesome. - Thank you, that's great. Thank you. - Okay. Awesome.
945 00:33:56,950 00:33:58,320 It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
946 00:33:58,410 00:34:00,570 - Yeah. I'm just having a good time. - Hmm? Doesn't it? - Yeah. I'm just having a good time. - Hmm? Doesn't it?
947 00:34:01,320 00:34:02,870 Um... Um...
948 00:34:02,950 00:34:05,030 Oh! So when I first met Mocha Joe... Oh! So when I first met Mocha Joe...
949 00:34:05,120 00:34:07,280 Ugh. Oh, hold on. Ugh. Oh, hold on.
950 00:34:07,370 00:34:09,070 - No. No. No. - What's wrong? - No. No. No. - What's wrong?
951 00:34:09,160 00:34:10,160 Mocha Joe! Mocha Joe!
952 00:34:10,200 00:34:12,370 - Mocha Joe! - Yeah. - Mocha Joe! - Yeah.
953 00:34:13,990 00:34:16,450 This coffee's... it's not hot. This coffee's... it's not hot.
954 00:34:16,530 00:34:18,950 - It's plenty hot. - No, it's, it's plenty not. - It's plenty hot. - No, it's, it's plenty not.
955 00:34:19,030 00:34:21,820 - It's, it's, it is, it is at best luke. - It's hot. - It's, it's, it is, it is at best luke. - It's hot.
956 00:34:21,910 00:34:23,756 - Oh, God. - I don't know what to tell you. - Oh, God. - I don't know what to tell you.
957 00:34:23,780 00:34:25,346 This is not, this is not a hot cup of coffee. This is not, this is not a hot cup of coffee.
958 00:34:25,370 00:34:26,966 - It's a hot cup of coffee. - Coffee should be served hot. - It's a hot cup of coffee. - Coffee should be served hot.
959 00:34:26,990 00:34:28,006 - This is not hot. - It's hot. - This is not hot. - It's hot.
960 00:34:28,030 00:34:29,450 I beg to differ. This is not hot. I beg to differ. This is not hot.
961 00:34:29,530 00:34:31,136 And I tell you what. Here's how I'll prove it to you. And I tell you what. Here's how I'll prove it to you.
962 00:34:31,160 00:34:32,346 - No, no, no, I don't know... - Would I be able to do this? - No, no, no, I don't know... - Would I be able to do this?
963 00:34:32,370 00:34:33,950 Would I be able to do this Would I be able to do this
964 00:34:34,030 00:34:35,740 if this was a hot cup of coffee? if this was a hot cup of coffee?
965 00:34:36,370 00:34:38,240 - Oh. Oh. - Okay. - Oh. Oh. - Okay.
966 00:34:39,030 00:34:41,176 - Doesn't even hurt. Doesn't even hurt. - I can't do this. - Doesn't even hurt. Doesn't even hurt. - I can't do this.
967 00:34:41,200 00:34:42,466 - This coffee's not hot. - Jon Hamm... - This coffee's not hot. - Jon Hamm...
968 00:34:42,490 00:34:44,200 - ...you have turned into Larry. - What... - ...you have turned into Larry. - What...
969 00:34:44,280 00:34:46,280 - I'm done. I can't do this. - Cheryl... - I'm done. I can't do this. - Cheryl...
970 00:34:46,370 00:34:47,280 God. God.
971 00:34:47,370 00:34:48,910 - Cheryl! - No. - Cheryl! - No.
972 00:34:48,990 00:34:50,740 - Come on. - Nope. - Come on. - Nope.
973 00:34:51,700 00:34:54,120 See, now look. The table. Look at this. All over the place. See, now look. The table. Look at this. All over the place.
974 00:34:54,200 00:34:55,716 - All right, you know what, Jon Hamm? - All over the place. - All right, you know what, Jon Hamm? - All over the place.
975 00:34:55,740 00:34:57,200 - Unbelievable. - Get out. - Unbelievable. - Get out.
976 00:34:57,570 00:34:58,910 Happy to. Happy to.
977 00:35:00,950 00:35:02,780 And you're banned, Jon Hamm! And you're banned, Jon Hamm!
978 00:35:02,870 00:35:04,870 I don't care! I don't care!
979 00:35:10,910 00:35:12,160 Hey! Hey!
980 00:35:12,240 00:35:14,320 I'm here! I'm here!
981 00:35:14,410 00:35:17,120 Look. Look! Flowers, balloons. Look. Look! Flowers, balloons.
982 00:35:17,200 00:35:19,870 Larry David. What could be better? Larry David. What could be better?
983 00:35:19,950 00:35:22,636 - Take a smell of that. Yeah? Pretty good. - Yep. Smells like flowers. - Take a smell of that. Yeah? Pretty good. - Yep. Smells like flowers.
984 00:35:22,660 00:35:24,620 - Right? Where do you want 'em? Here? - Yeah. - Right? Where do you want 'em? Here? - Yeah.
985 00:35:24,700 00:35:27,240 Ugh. I came as soon as I could. Ugh. I came as soon as I could.
986 00:35:27,320 00:35:28,530 Did you? Did you?
987 00:35:28,620 00:35:29,700 Yes, I did. Yes, I did.
988 00:35:29,780 00:35:32,450 'Cause it's, uh, been a little over 24 hours 'Cause it's, uh, been a little over 24 hours
989 00:35:32,530 00:35:34,200 since I called you and you were gonna since I called you and you were gonna
990 00:35:34,280 00:35:36,990 hop on the next flight. So I just, I've been a little confused. hop on the next flight. So I just, I've been a little confused.
991 00:35:37,070 00:35:39,410 Big issue with the TSA last night. Big issue with the TSA last night.
992 00:35:39,490 00:35:42,256 - Ugh. I'm not even gonna bore you with it. - Why would book a night flight? - Ugh. I'm not even gonna bore you with it. - Why would book a night flight?
993 00:35:42,280 00:35:44,370 I called you at 10:00 o'clock yesterday morning. I called you at 10:00 o'clock yesterday morning.
994 00:35:44,450 00:35:47,200 Um, you know, the... I couldn't get a seat. There were no seats. Um, you know, the... I couldn't get a seat. There were no seats.
995 00:35:47,280 00:35:50,070 There were no seats on any of the planes? There were no seats on any of the planes?
996 00:35:50,160 00:35:52,490 There were... There were...
997 00:35:52,570 00:35:54,200 no seats... no seats...
998 00:35:54,280 00:35:55,450 for me? for me?
999 00:35:55,530 00:35:59,280 Are you talking about first class seats? Are you talking about first class seats?
1000 00:35:59,370 00:36:02,280 Uh... Uh...
1001 00:36:04,280 00:36:05,870 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah? - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah?
1002 00:36:05,950 00:36:07,240 I broke my leg! I broke my leg!
1003 00:36:07,320 00:36:08,700 - I called you scared. - Yeah. - I called you scared. - Yeah.
1004 00:36:08,780 00:36:09,870 - And hurt. - Yeah. I know. - And hurt. - Yeah. I know.
1005 00:36:09,950 00:36:12,410 I'm not worth two hours in a coach seat? I'm not worth two hours in a coach seat?
1006 00:36:12,490 00:36:14,740 - You know. All right, I'm gonna be... - What? - You know. All right, I'm gonna be... - What?
1007 00:36:14,820 00:36:17,046 - I'll just be straight with you, okay? - Yeah. That'd be great. - I'll just be straight with you, okay? - Yeah. That'd be great.
1008 00:36:17,070 00:36:19,280 - I've been honest with you up until now. - Yes. - I've been honest with you up until now. - Yes.
1009 00:36:19,370 00:36:21,820 - So I'm gonna be honest with you again. - Go for it. - So I'm gonna be honest with you again. - Go for it.
1010 00:36:23,370 00:36:25,660 I have a bleeding rectum. I have a bleeding rectum.
1011 00:36:26,950 00:36:28,490 They're okay with you bleeding They're okay with you bleeding
1012 00:36:28,570 00:36:30,320 out of your rectum in first class? out of your rectum in first class?
1013 00:36:30,410 00:36:33,570 It's a more comfortable place to bleed. It's a more comfortable place to bleed.
1014 00:36:33,660 00:36:36,030 I think it's probably best that you go. I think it's probably best that you go.
1015 00:36:36,120 00:36:37,990 - What? - Yeah. Leave the flowers, - What? - Yeah. Leave the flowers,
1016 00:36:38,070 00:36:40,320 but take the ugly balloon, and just go. but take the ugly balloon, and just go.
1017 00:36:41,280 00:36:42,490 Okay. Okay.
1018 00:36:44,620 00:36:47,660 - Hey. You gonna eat that Jell-O? - I'm not gonna eat the Jell-O. - Hey. You gonna eat that Jell-O? - I'm not gonna eat the Jell-O.
1019 00:36:48,570 00:36:49,820 Hmm. Hmm.
1020 00:36:50,728 00:36:56,551 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
1021 00:38:04,990 00:38:07,280 Ah! Mr. Takahashi! How you hitting 'em, Mr. T? Ah! Mr. Takahashi! How you hitting 'em, Mr. T?
1022 00:38:07,530 00:38:09,410 - Not your concern. - Ah. - Not your concern. - Ah.
1023 00:38:11,950 00:38:14,410 The color of a car doesn't really matter to me, The color of a car doesn't really matter to me,
1024 00:38:14,490 00:38:17,280 because I don't really see it when I'm inside the car. because I don't really see it when I'm inside the car.
1025 00:38:17,370 00:38:18,700 It's like being inside your face. It's like being inside your face.
1026 00:38:18,780 00:38:19,926 I don't know what my face looks like. I don't know what my face looks like.
1027 00:38:19,950 00:38:21,870 - Who forgets their face? - I'm in a capsule. - Who forgets their face? - I'm in a capsule.
1028 00:38:21,950 00:38:23,780 Everything's coming from inside the capsule. Everything's coming from inside the capsule.
1029 00:38:24,070 00:38:26,200 I haven't seen you take one piece of red licorice yet. I haven't seen you take one piece of red licorice yet.
1030 00:38:26,280 00:38:27,280 Only black for you? Only black for you?
1031 00:38:27,620 00:38:30,030 Something wrong with a person supporting black and shit? Something wrong with a person supporting black and shit?
1032 00:38:30,120 00:38:32,410 Black licorice, black jellybeans... Black licorice, black jellybeans...
1033 00:38:32,490 00:38:34,530 - You feel me? - No, I feel you. - You feel me? - No, I feel you.