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| 1 | 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,021 [CLATTERING] | 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,021 [CLATTERING] | |
2 | 00:00:18,111 | 00:00:20,187 | [WOMEN CHATTERING] | [WOMEN CHATTERING] |
3 | 00:00:30,832 | 00:00:32,908 | [PIANO PLAYS "JERUSALEM"] | [PIANO PLAYS "JERUSALEM"] |
4 | 00:00:40,216 | 00:00:47,049 | So, ladies, straight to the high point of our meeting, our guest speaker. | So, ladies, straight to the high point of our meeting, our guest speaker. |
5 | 00:00:47,139 | 00:00:51,089 | I'm very pleased to welcome Alan Rathbone from York, | I'm very pleased to welcome Alan Rathbone from York, |
6 | 00:00:51,185 | 00:00:56,808 | who's gonna be giving us a talk on the history of the Milk Marketing Board. | who's gonna be giving us a talk on the history of the Milk Marketing Board. |
7 | 00:00:56,899 | 00:00:58,975 | Thank you, Alan. | Thank you, Alan. |
8 | 00:00:59,902 | 00:01:03,650 | ALAN: Good evening, ladies of the Women's Institute. | ALAN: Good evening, ladies of the Women's Institute. |
9 | 00:01:06,992 | 00:01:11,738 | Ladies, I'd like to welcome Iris Benton from Ilkley. | Ladies, I'd like to welcome Iris Benton from Ilkley. |
10 | 00:01:11,830 | 00:01:16,077 | She's come to lead us through the fascinating world of rugs. | She's come to lead us through the fascinating world of rugs. |
11 | 00:01:18,295 | 00:01:20,786 | I beg your pardon, Iris. I stand corrected. | I beg your pardon, Iris. I stand corrected. |
12 | 00:01:20,881 | 00:01:25,294 | It's not just rugs. It's all forms of carpeting. | It's not just rugs. It's all forms of carpeting. |
13 | 00:01:25,385 | 00:01:28,552 | Thank God. For a minute there I thought it was going to be dull. | Thank God. For a minute there I thought it was going to be dull. |
14 | 00:01:28,639 | 00:01:30,714 | Thank you, Iris. | Thank you, Iris. |
15 | 00:01:37,147 | 00:01:41,441 | Our round-the-world cruise started in September in Skipton, | Our round-the-world cruise started in September in Skipton, |
16 | 00:01:41,526 | 00:01:44,397 | when we booked the tickets. | when we booked the tickets. |
17 | 00:01:44,487 | 00:01:49,944 | That's them. They were a special offer and it was essential, my wife told me, | That's them. They were a special offer and it was essential, my wife told me, |
18 | 00:01:50,034 | 00:01:53,154 | to book them before the 25th of the month. | to book them before the 25th of the month. |
19 | 00:01:58,042 | 00:01:59,786 | WOMAN: Thank you. | WOMAN: Thank you. |
20 | 00:02:09,429 | 00:02:12,762 | I don't know about you, ladies, but can I just say, Pauline, | I don't know about you, ladies, but can I just say, Pauline, |
21 | 00:02:12,849 | 00:02:17,012 | I had no idea that broccoli could be so intriguing. | I had no idea that broccoli could be so intriguing. |
22 | 00:02:17,103 | 00:02:19,428 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
23 | 00:02:19,522 | 00:02:24,100 | Now then, ladies, can I have a volunteer to draw the raffle? | Now then, ladies, can I have a volunteer to draw the raffle? |
24 | 00:02:25,694 | 00:02:28,695 | [JERUSALEM] | [JERUSALEM] |
25 | 00:02:28,781 | 00:02:30,192 | - No. - Yes. | - No. - Yes. |
26 | 00:02:30,282 | 00:02:32,856 | - No. - All right, I'll ask him. | - No. - All right, I'll ask him. |
27 | 00:02:32,952 | 00:02:35,324 | - Volunteer your own husband. - Yeah, right. | - Volunteer your own husband. - Yeah, right. |
28 | 00:02:35,412 | 00:02:38,082 | What's Rod going to talk to the WI about? | What's Rod going to talk to the WI about? |
29 | 00:02:38,165 | 00:02:41,534 | Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what John'd say. | Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what John'd say. |
30 | 00:02:41,627 | 00:02:44,746 | - What the hell am I gonna speak about? - John, I don't care. | - What the hell am I gonna speak about? - John, I don't care. |
31 | 00:02:44,838 | 00:02:48,753 | Whatever it is is gonna be better than the bloody history of the cauliflower | Whatever it is is gonna be better than the bloody history of the cauliflower |
32 | 00:02:48,842 | 00:02:51,049 | or whatever it is we've got next week. | or whatever it is we've got next week. |
33 | 00:02:51,136 | 00:02:53,093 | - One seedling... - Annie, tell him. | - One seedling... - Annie, tell him. |
34 | 00:02:53,180 | 00:02:56,596 | John, the whole point of the WI is... | John, the whole point of the WI is... |
35 | 00:02:56,683 | 00:03:00,099 | - Are you listening to me? - Annie, what is the point of the WI? | - Are you listening to me? - Annie, what is the point of the WI? |
36 | 00:03:00,187 | 00:03:04,019 | Enlightenment, fun and friendship. | Enlightenment, fun and friendship. |
37 | 00:03:04,107 | 00:03:08,354 | Well, there, you see. It's right. It's them things. | Well, there, you see. It's right. It's them things. |
38 | 00:03:08,445 | 00:03:11,979 | In my case, you did it cos your mother asked you, then she died... | In my case, you did it cos your mother asked you, then she died... |
39 | 00:03:12,073 | 00:03:15,193 | - You love it. - One seed in each pot. | - You love it. - One seed in each pot. |
40 | 00:03:15,285 | 00:03:17,990 | You're bloody useless, you are. | You're bloody useless, you are. |
41 | 00:03:19,330 | 00:03:21,868 | Oh, look. Is it all right like that? | Oh, look. Is it all right like that? |
42 | 00:03:38,641 | 00:03:42,259 | I've done the Harman wedding, but the carnation table fronts | I've done the Harman wedding, but the carnation table fronts |
43 | 00:03:42,353 | 00:03:45,437 | need to be done for that conference in Guiseley. | need to be done for that conference in Guiseley. |
44 | 00:03:45,523 | 00:03:48,014 | Good Lord. Nagging lilies. | Good Lord. Nagging lilies. |
45 | 00:03:50,236 | 00:03:52,312 | And I couldn't find the order form. | And I couldn't find the order form. |
46 | 00:03:58,619 | 00:04:01,288 | I thought, after your fantastic reorganisation, | I thought, after your fantastic reorganisation, |
47 | 00:04:01,372 | 00:04:05,204 | all the order forms had to go on the bent nail. | all the order forms had to go on the bent nail. |
48 | 00:04:07,711 | 00:04:10,878 | Are you going upstairs to do your homework? | Are you going upstairs to do your homework? |
49 | 00:04:10,964 | 00:04:13,502 | I'm not bothered. | I'm not bothered. |
50 | 00:04:15,511 | 00:04:16,709 | TV: No worries. | TV: No worries. |
51 | 00:04:55,883 | 00:04:57,793 | Jem? | Jem? |
52 | 00:04:57,885 | 00:04:59,961 | Mum. | Mum. |
53 | 00:05:05,935 | 00:05:08,011 | [SHE GIGGLES] | [SHE GIGGLES] |
54 | 00:05:15,695 | 00:05:17,771 | Oh, you... Shoo! | Oh, you... Shoo! |
55 | 00:05:17,863 | 00:05:20,781 | You beggar! Go on! | You beggar! Go on! |
56 | 00:05:31,543 | 00:05:33,951 | He's a little devil is that crow. | He's a little devil is that crow. |
57 | 00:05:34,046 | 00:05:37,331 | He'll have all them seedlings if we don't do something. | He'll have all them seedlings if we don't do something. |
58 | 00:05:43,597 | 00:05:48,058 | Something we need to have a little... a little chat about. | Something we need to have a little... a little chat about. |
59 | 00:05:49,102 | 00:05:51,178 | - Annie... - Don't leave me. | - Annie... - Don't leave me. |
60 | 00:05:53,231 | 00:05:56,316 | You great... Hey, come here. | You great... Hey, come here. |
61 | 00:05:57,152 | 00:05:59,026 | Hey. | Hey. |
62 | 00:05:59,112 | 00:06:00,986 | Hey, hey. | Hey, hey. |
63 | 00:06:01,072 | 00:06:05,319 | I'm not leaving you. You soft girl. | I'm not leaving you. You soft girl. |
64 | 00:06:07,203 | 00:06:10,240 | At least, I bloody hope not. | At least, I bloody hope not. |
65 | 00:06:20,466 | 00:06:22,542 | So... | So... |
66 | 00:06:23,636 | 00:06:27,005 | You know, what kind is it he's got? | You know, what kind is it he's got? |
67 | 00:06:27,098 | 00:06:30,716 | He says he's gonna call it Saddam Hussein. | He says he's gonna call it Saddam Hussein. |
68 | 00:06:34,480 | 00:06:37,683 | You should have told us. I'm your oldest friend. | You should have told us. I'm your oldest friend. |
69 | 00:06:37,775 | 00:06:40,646 | You should have told me the moment you found out. | You should have told me the moment you found out. |
70 | 00:06:40,736 | 00:06:43,108 | I did. | I did. |
71 | 00:06:46,033 | 00:06:48,868 | - No big hoo-ha, though, OK? - OK. | - No big hoo-ha, though, OK? - OK. |
72 | 00:06:48,953 | 00:06:53,116 | It'll just make it easier for him to get back to normal when he gets out, you know, | It'll just make it easier for him to get back to normal when he gets out, you know, |
73 | 00:06:53,207 | 00:06:57,287 | and the tests are clear and... and everything. | and the tests are clear and... and everything. |
74 | 00:07:10,307 | 00:07:15,728 | [ON PA] Entries for the home and craft competition to the WI tent immediately. | [ON PA] Entries for the home and craft competition to the WI tent immediately. |
75 | 00:07:15,812 | 00:07:20,059 | - What are they? Hell's Angels? - Sort of. They're morris dancers. | - What are they? Hell's Angels? - Sort of. They're morris dancers. |
76 | 00:07:20,150 | 00:07:25,690 | - We'll see you back at the tents. - All right. See you later. Yeah. | - We'll see you back at the tents. - All right. See you later. Yeah. |
77 | 00:07:31,620 | 00:07:33,696 | - Garden in a plant pot. - Done that. | - Garden in a plant pot. - Done that. |
78 | 00:07:33,788 | 00:07:35,746 | - Straightest courgette. - Done. | - Straightest courgette. - Done. |
79 | 00:07:35,832 | 00:07:39,699 | Most creative thing done with an egg. Then we've done everything. Come on. | Most creative thing done with an egg. Then we've done everything. Come on. |
80 | 00:07:39,794 | 00:07:43,662 | Look at 'em. High Gill WI. | Look at 'em. High Gill WI. |
81 | 00:07:43,756 | 00:07:46,674 | Let's arrange our cakes round an old cartwheel. | Let's arrange our cakes round an old cartwheel. |
82 | 00:07:46,759 | 00:07:50,378 | - Does look pretty, though. - Whose side are you on, Brutus? | - Does look pretty, though. - Whose side are you on, Brutus? |
83 | 00:07:50,471 | 00:07:54,551 | - No, I didn't mean... - What's your event, by the way? | - No, I didn't mean... - What's your event, by the way? |
84 | 00:07:54,642 | 00:07:57,311 | Tea tray on an international theme. | Tea tray on an international theme. |
85 | 00:07:57,395 | 00:08:00,978 | I did Jamaica, but it could be anywhere in the Caribbean. | I did Jamaica, but it could be anywhere in the Caribbean. |
86 | 00:08:02,108 | 00:08:06,604 | If more people did WI, there'd be half the need for hallucinogenic drugs. | If more people did WI, there'd be half the need for hallucinogenic drugs. |
87 | 00:08:06,696 | 00:08:10,065 | Good, Ruth. International tea tray. | Good, Ruth. International tea tray. |
88 | 00:08:10,157 | 00:08:13,277 | Victoria sponge... Annie's on victoria sponge. | Victoria sponge... Annie's on victoria sponge. |
89 | 00:08:13,369 | 00:08:15,445 | - Summat for under a pound... - Kathy. | - Summat for under a pound... - Kathy. |
90 | 00:08:15,538 | 00:08:17,614 | Kathy. That's it. Where's that? | Kathy. That's it. Where's that? |
91 | 00:08:21,377 | 00:08:22,408 | What's that? | What's that? |
92 | 00:08:22,503 | 00:08:26,583 | Annie won't have had time, running Yul Brynner in and out of Skipton General, | Annie won't have had time, running Yul Brynner in and out of Skipton General, |
93 | 00:08:26,674 | 00:08:28,962 | so ta-da! | so ta-da! |
94 | 00:08:29,051 | 00:08:32,420 | I'm sorry. It just took a bit long... Oh, my God, the cake. | I'm sorry. It just took a bit long... Oh, my God, the cake. |
95 | 00:08:32,513 | 00:08:35,383 | - Told you. - It's all right. Chris has saved the day. | - Told you. - It's all right. Chris has saved the day. |
96 | 00:08:35,474 | 00:08:39,222 | - You baked that? - I'm not a total dead loss as a woman. | - You baked that? - I'm not a total dead loss as a woman. |
97 | 00:08:39,311 | 00:08:43,772 | I can't knit or make plum jam, but I can bake a bloody victoria sponge. | I can't knit or make plum jam, but I can bake a bloody victoria sponge. |
98 | 00:08:43,857 | 00:08:46,644 | - Thank you. - Course, I didn't actually bake this. | - Thank you. - Course, I didn't actually bake this. |
99 | 00:08:46,735 | 00:08:49,226 | - I got it from Marks & Spencer's. - What?! | - I got it from Marks & Spencer's. - What?! |
100 | 00:08:49,321 | 00:08:53,021 | - The point is... - You can't enter a cake you've bought. | - The point is... - You can't enter a cake you've bought. |
101 | 00:08:53,116 | 00:08:56,153 | Get off! It doesn't matter where it comes from, does it? | Get off! It doesn't matter where it comes from, does it? |
102 | 00:08:56,244 | 00:08:59,862 | This is about putting up a united front against High Gill. | This is about putting up a united front against High Gill. |
103 | 00:08:59,956 | 00:09:02,281 | This isn't bakery. | This isn't bakery. |
104 | 00:09:03,335 | 00:09:05,411 | It's Zulu. | It's Zulu. |
105 | 00:09:06,338 | 00:09:08,414 | Are you ready? | Are you ready? |
106 | 00:09:18,725 | 00:09:22,141 | [ON PA] Will the parents of the young lad in the Spider-Man T-shirt | [ON PA] Will the parents of the young lad in the Spider-Man T-shirt |
107 | 00:09:22,228 | 00:09:25,395 | please meet him under the gorilla. | please meet him under the gorilla. |
108 | 00:09:28,860 | 00:09:33,237 | Now, excitement in the main tent, where the WI judging's begun. | Now, excitement in the main tent, where the WI judging's begun. |
109 | 00:09:33,948 | 00:09:36,653 | - Aye aye. - Jury's back. | - Aye aye. - Jury's back. |
110 | 00:09:36,742 | 00:09:41,700 | Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this year's May Wilkinson trophy | Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this year's May Wilkinson trophy |
111 | 00:09:41,789 | 00:09:45,703 | for victoria sponge, maximum 12-inch diameter, | for victoria sponge, maximum 12-inch diameter, |
112 | 00:09:45,793 | 00:09:50,371 | I'm pleased to say is entry number 213. | I'm pleased to say is entry number 213. |
113 | 00:09:51,966 | 00:09:55,002 | - Nice knowing you, Chris. - [MURMURS] Help me! | - Nice knowing you, Chris. - [MURMURS] Help me! |
114 | 00:09:55,094 | 00:09:56,339 | That's interesting. | That's interesting. |
115 | 00:09:56,428 | 00:10:02,882 | Entered by Knapely WI and baked by Chris Harper. | Entered by Knapely WI and baked by Chris Harper. |
116 | 00:10:09,816 | 00:10:13,731 | - Very, very well done. It's a beautiful cake. - Thanks. Thanks very much. | - Very, very well done. It's a beautiful cake. - Thanks. Thanks very much. |
117 | 00:10:13,820 | 00:10:18,482 | And I'm proud to say this cake also wins | And I'm proud to say this cake also wins |
118 | 00:10:18,575 | 00:10:23,237 | the judges' 2002 discretionary award. | the judges' 2002 discretionary award. |
119 | 00:10:30,295 | 00:10:32,501 | It was really beautiful. | It was really beautiful. |
120 | 00:10:32,589 | 00:10:34,665 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
121 | 00:10:36,843 | 00:10:39,963 | Listen, I never normally ask this. | Listen, I never normally ask this. |
122 | 00:10:40,054 | 00:10:43,720 | The lightness of that sponge. | The lightness of that sponge. |
123 | 00:10:43,808 | 00:10:48,351 | Is there a trick, a technique, how you got that? | Is there a trick, a technique, how you got that? |
124 | 00:10:58,364 | 00:11:00,238 | Uh, well... | Uh, well... |
125 | 00:11:00,324 | 00:11:04,820 | Well, um... I basically stuck to me mother's advice about cake baking. | Well, um... I basically stuck to me mother's advice about cake baking. |
126 | 00:11:04,912 | 00:11:06,821 | Yes. | Yes. |
127 | 00:11:06,914 | 00:11:11,457 | Uh, which is... Line the bowl with butter. | Uh, which is... Line the bowl with butter. |
128 | 00:11:11,544 | 00:11:14,663 | Always use a warm spoon. | Always use a warm spoon. |
129 | 00:11:14,755 | 00:11:19,547 | And if it's a special event, get it at Marks & Spencer's. | And if it's a special event, get it at Marks & Spencer's. |
130 | 00:11:21,387 | 00:11:23,463 | [ANNIE LAUGHS] | [ANNIE LAUGHS] |
131 | 00:11:24,682 | 00:11:27,766 | [ALL START LAUGHING] | [ALL START LAUGHING] |
132 | 00:11:34,233 | 00:11:36,309 | Throw the cake at 'em. | Throw the cake at 'em. |
133 | 00:11:38,528 | 00:11:42,858 | Are you throwing my cake? That is disrespectful. | Are you throwing my cake? That is disrespectful. |
134 | 00:11:42,949 | 00:11:47,161 | - This is very good. - Of course it's good. | - This is very good. - Of course it's good. |
135 | 00:11:47,245 | 00:11:50,994 | They don't give the May Wilkinson out lightly, you know. | They don't give the May Wilkinson out lightly, you know. |
136 | 00:11:51,082 | 00:11:55,543 | In fact, I'm going to be asked to do a master class at the WI. | In fact, I'm going to be asked to do a master class at the WI. |
137 | 00:11:55,629 | 00:11:59,673 | - That'll be interesting. - Wasn't I supposed to do one? | - That'll be interesting. - Wasn't I supposed to do one? |
138 | 00:11:59,758 | 00:12:04,466 | Something? Yeah. For the WI. Or don't you want that any more? | Something? Yeah. For the WI. Or don't you want that any more? |
139 | 00:12:04,554 | 00:12:10,260 | I'll tell you what, if you want me to do it, you'd better get it in quick. | I'll tell you what, if you want me to do it, you'd better get it in quick. |
140 | 00:12:14,439 | 00:12:16,930 | [WOMEN SING "JERUSALEM"] | [WOMEN SING "JERUSALEM"] |
141 | 00:12:22,113 | 00:12:23,856 | Go, go, go, go, go. | Go, go, go, go, go. |
142 | 00:12:23,948 | 00:12:27,068 | - Kiss. - They're on "arrows of desire". | - Kiss. - They're on "arrows of desire". |
143 | 00:12:27,160 | 00:12:30,196 | - You can't go to Ilkley without a kiss. - I go every Thursday. | - You can't go to Ilkley without a kiss. - I go every Thursday. |
144 | 00:12:30,288 | 00:12:32,779 | It's not an overseas posting. | It's not an overseas posting. |
145 | 00:12:32,873 | 00:12:34,949 | Kiss. | Kiss. |
146 | 00:12:49,640 | 00:12:55,725 | ♪ Till we have built Jerusalem ♪ | ♪ Till we have built Jerusalem ♪ |
147 | 00:12:55,813 | 00:13:03,025 | ♪ In England's green and pleasant land ♪ | ♪ In England's green and pleasant land ♪ |
148 | 00:13:13,580 | 00:13:18,538 | Firstly, how else could we start than by congratulating Chris | Firstly, how else could we start than by congratulating Chris |
149 | 00:13:18,627 | 00:13:25,709 | on not only winning the May Wilkinson but also the judges' discretionary ribbon. | on not only winning the May Wilkinson but also the judges' discretionary ribbon. |
150 | 00:13:28,928 | 00:13:31,384 | I'm so pleased. | I'm so pleased. |
151 | 00:13:35,226 | 00:13:39,390 | Now, the next item on the agenda is the calendar. | Now, the next item on the agenda is the calendar. |
152 | 00:13:40,315 | 00:13:42,722 | Last year we had views of local bridges, | Last year we had views of local bridges, |
153 | 00:13:42,817 | 00:13:48,024 | so this year I thought we could go for the 12 most beautiful views of... | so this year I thought we could go for the 12 most beautiful views of... |
154 | 00:13:48,114 | 00:13:50,984 | - George Clooney. - ...the churches of Wharfedale. | - George Clooney. - ...the churches of Wharfedale. |
155 | 00:13:51,075 | 00:13:54,574 | 11 fully clothed and a little lift the flap for December. | 11 fully clothed and a little lift the flap for December. |
156 | 00:13:54,662 | 00:13:55,777 | [SNIGGERING] | [SNIGGERING] |
157 | 00:13:55,872 | 00:13:57,366 | Chris? | Chris? |
158 | 00:13:59,333 | 00:14:02,916 | - No, nothing. - She said George Clooney. | - No, nothing. - She said George Clooney. |
159 | 00:14:05,006 | 00:14:08,706 | No. No, Marie. I'm fine, you know, with whatever. | No. No, Marie. I'm fine, you know, with whatever. |
160 | 00:14:09,260 | 00:14:12,130 | Churches of Wharfedale it is, then. | Churches of Wharfedale it is, then. |
161 | 00:14:13,264 | 00:14:15,340 | It should be bloody George Clooney. | It should be bloody George Clooney. |
162 | 00:14:15,432 | 00:14:20,853 | Burnsall Church or George Clooney - I know which I'd rather wake up looking at. | Burnsall Church or George Clooney - I know which I'd rather wake up looking at. |
163 | 00:14:20,938 | 00:14:22,812 | It is a Norman church, you know. | It is a Norman church, you know. |
164 | 00:14:22,898 | 00:14:25,650 | I'm not disputing the loveliness of the church. | I'm not disputing the loveliness of the church. |
165 | 00:14:25,734 | 00:14:29,020 | It's the firmness of the buttocks I'm worried about. | It's the firmness of the buttocks I'm worried about. |
166 | 00:14:29,112 | 00:14:30,986 | Careful. You'll pull your drip out. | Careful. You'll pull your drip out. |
167 | 00:14:31,073 | 00:14:32,733 | Anyway, let's face it, | Anyway, let's face it, |
168 | 00:14:32,824 | 00:14:36,774 | hate to be a revolutionary, it might actually sell a few copies. | hate to be a revolutionary, it might actually sell a few copies. |
169 | 00:14:36,870 | 00:14:40,571 | Yeah, the WI posing-pouch calendar. | Yeah, the WI posing-pouch calendar. |
170 | 00:14:40,665 | 00:14:43,750 | - Flesh sells, I tell ya. - Yeah. | - Flesh sells, I tell ya. - Yeah. |
171 | 00:14:43,835 | 00:14:46,077 | Right, decided. | Right, decided. |
172 | 00:14:46,171 | 00:14:48,413 | So where do we get a photographer? | So where do we get a photographer? |
173 | 00:14:48,507 | 00:14:53,299 | Art college. It's full of charlatans who prostitute their talent for money. | Art college. It's full of charlatans who prostitute their talent for money. |
174 | 00:14:53,386 | 00:14:56,506 | - Is it? - Yeah. Lawrence was telling me. | - Is it? - Yeah. Lawrence was telling me. |
175 | 00:14:57,891 | 00:15:01,342 | Hey, you wanna see this kid's photographs. | Hey, you wanna see this kid's photographs. |
176 | 00:15:01,436 | 00:15:03,393 | Don't go on about them. | Don't go on about them. |
177 | 00:15:03,480 | 00:15:07,976 | He's taking some of me sunflowers, to see how they're getting on. | He's taking some of me sunflowers, to see how they're getting on. |
178 | 00:15:08,067 | 00:15:13,062 | It's not your photographer, it's your models. Professional models cost a bloody bomb. | It's not your photographer, it's your models. Professional models cost a bloody bomb. |
179 | 00:15:13,156 | 00:15:15,065 | Hey... | Hey... |
180 | 00:15:15,158 | 00:15:17,649 | I'll model for you for nowt. | I'll model for you for nowt. |
181 | 00:15:18,703 | 00:15:23,661 | No, thanks. I've just seen your backside and, believe me, it's not like George's. | No, thanks. I've just seen your backside and, believe me, it's not like George's. |
182 | 00:15:39,431 | 00:15:41,507 | There you go. | There you go. |
183 | 00:15:41,600 | 00:15:43,474 | Ow! | Ow! |
184 | 00:15:43,561 | 00:15:48,768 | This bloody settee. They're gonna need another relatives' room, | This bloody settee. They're gonna need another relatives' room, |
185 | 00:15:48,857 | 00:15:55,109 | for the relatives of the relatives who got injured on the settee in the relatives' room. | for the relatives of the relatives who got injured on the settee in the relatives' room. |
186 | 00:15:57,616 | 00:16:00,617 | So, did you talk to the specialist? | So, did you talk to the specialist? |
187 | 00:16:01,912 | 00:16:04,829 | John seems chirpier to me today. What's the old... | John seems chirpier to me today. What's the old... |
188 | 00:16:04,915 | 00:16:09,790 | - Pneumonia and septicaemia. - Oh, that's good. I've heard of those. | - Pneumonia and septicaemia. - Oh, that's good. I've heard of those. |
189 | 00:16:09,878 | 00:16:13,294 | They can deal with those, can't they? | They can deal with those, can't they? |
190 | 00:16:13,381 | 00:16:17,165 | It means his immune system's weakened. | It means his immune system's weakened. |
191 | 00:16:17,260 | 00:16:19,751 | The chemo isn't working. | The chemo isn't working. |
192 | 00:16:21,598 | 00:16:25,133 | Which means we're finally out of straws. | Which means we're finally out of straws. |
193 | 00:16:32,734 | 00:16:35,853 | Don't you go buying any benches. | Don't you go buying any benches. |
194 | 00:16:35,945 | 00:16:38,816 | Do what the hell I like, John Clarke. | Do what the hell I like, John Clarke. |
195 | 00:16:38,906 | 00:16:41,611 | If you put a bench out here, | If you put a bench out here, |
196 | 00:16:42,452 | 00:16:47,790 | "it'll have 'Leeds stuffed Arsenal' on it" before you get back to the car. | "it'll have 'Leeds stuffed Arsenal' on it" before you get back to the car. |
197 | 00:16:51,127 | 00:16:53,203 | Come on. | Come on. |
198 | 00:17:00,094 | 00:17:02,881 | I've written me speech. | I've written me speech. |
199 | 00:17:02,972 | 00:17:05,048 | - WI. - Oh, right. | - WI. - Oh, right. |
200 | 00:17:07,184 | 00:17:10,138 | I did it about... me job. | I did it about... me job. |
201 | 00:17:11,063 | 00:17:13,139 | And all this. | And all this. |
202 | 00:17:14,400 | 00:17:16,476 | You read it to me. | You read it to me. |
203 | 00:17:22,449 | 00:17:26,778 | Flowers of Yorkshire are like the women of Yorkshire. | Flowers of Yorkshire are like the women of Yorkshire. |
204 | 00:17:26,870 | 00:17:34,166 | Every stage of their growth is more beautiful than the last. | Every stage of their growth is more beautiful than the last. |
205 | 00:17:37,714 | 00:17:40,798 | But the last phase... | But the last phase... |
206 | 00:17:40,884 | 00:17:43,589 | is always the most glorious. | is always the most glorious. |
207 | 00:17:58,860 | 00:18:02,063 | Then very quickly they all go to seed. | Then very quickly they all go to seed. |
208 | 00:18:08,328 | 00:18:10,997 | Cheeky beggar. | Cheeky beggar. |
209 | 00:18:45,614 | 00:18:51,320 | CHRIS: A while ago, I asked John Clarke to give us a talk here at Knapely WI. | CHRIS: A while ago, I asked John Clarke to give us a talk here at Knapely WI. |
210 | 00:18:52,746 | 00:18:58,998 | Annie asked me to read it to you here tonight, and this is what he wrote. | Annie asked me to read it to you here tonight, and this is what he wrote. |
211 | 00:19:01,630 | 00:19:05,841 | The flowers of Yorkshire are like the women of Yorkshire. | The flowers of Yorkshire are like the women of Yorkshire. |
212 | 00:19:05,926 | 00:19:08,796 | Every stage of their growth has its own beauty, | Every stage of their growth has its own beauty, |
213 | 00:19:08,887 | 00:19:12,054 | but the last phase is always the most glorious. | but the last phase is always the most glorious. |
214 | 00:19:13,683 | 00:19:16,174 | Then very quickly they all go to seed. | Then very quickly they all go to seed. |
215 | 00:19:16,269 | 00:19:18,476 | [LAUGHTER] | [LAUGHTER] |
216 | 00:19:18,563 | 00:19:21,979 | Which makes it ironic my favourite flower | Which makes it ironic my favourite flower |
217 | 00:19:22,067 | 00:19:26,645 | isn't even indigenous to the British Isles, let alone Yorkshire. | isn't even indigenous to the British Isles, let alone Yorkshire. |
218 | 00:19:26,738 | 00:19:33,784 | I don't think there's anything on this planet that more trumpets life than the sunflower. | I don't think there's anything on this planet that more trumpets life than the sunflower. |
219 | 00:19:34,871 | 00:19:38,489 | For me, that's because of the reason behind its name. | For me, that's because of the reason behind its name. |
220 | 00:19:38,583 | 00:19:44,917 | Not because it looks like the sun but because it follows the sun. | Not because it looks like the sun but because it follows the sun. |
221 | 00:19:45,006 | 00:19:47,082 | During the course of the day, | During the course of the day, |
222 | 00:19:47,175 | 00:19:51,920 | the head tracks the journey of the sun across the sky. | the head tracks the journey of the sun across the sky. |
223 | 00:19:52,013 | 00:19:54,930 | A satellite dish for sunshine. | A satellite dish for sunshine. |
224 | 00:19:56,142 | 00:20:02,725 | Wherever light is, no matter how weak, these flowers will find it. | Wherever light is, no matter how weak, these flowers will find it. |
225 | 00:20:02,815 | 00:20:05,520 | And that's such an admirable thing. | And that's such an admirable thing. |
226 | 00:20:06,360 | 00:20:08,851 | And such a lesson in life. | And such a lesson in life. |
227 | 00:20:21,667 | 00:20:24,336 | You ran into a gate? How'd you do that? | You ran into a gate? How'd you do that? |
228 | 00:20:24,419 | 00:20:25,997 | [MUMBLES] | [MUMBLES] |
229 | 00:20:26,088 | 00:20:27,748 | You what? | You what? |
230 | 00:20:27,839 | 00:20:31,374 | He does a paper round. It pays for his elocution lessons. | He does a paper round. It pays for his elocution lessons. |
231 | 00:20:31,468 | 00:20:38,301 | Yeah, well, he's bent these good-style. It'll be... 25 quid that, love. | Yeah, well, he's bent these good-style. It'll be... 25 quid that, love. |
232 | 00:20:39,476 | 00:20:41,552 | I have to have it. | I have to have it. |
233 | 00:20:42,854 | 00:20:44,645 | Mum? | Mum? |
234 | 00:20:49,611 | 00:20:52,980 | Ted, would you mind if I borrowed this? | Ted, would you mind if I borrowed this? |
235 | 00:20:53,072 | 00:20:54,483 | No. | No. |
236 | 00:20:56,868 | 00:21:00,616 | CHRIS: Moving gently into the locust. | CHRIS: Moving gently into the locust. |
237 | 00:21:02,373 | 00:21:06,122 | And then we have... | And then we have... |
238 | 00:21:07,295 | 00:21:09,371 | the lion. | the lion. |
239 | 00:21:12,383 | 00:21:16,084 | I have to admit I'm concerned about our great leader's grasp of t'ai chi. | I have to admit I'm concerned about our great leader's grasp of t'ai chi. |
240 | 00:21:16,178 | 00:21:19,263 | And into the llama. | And into the llama. |
241 | 00:21:19,348 | 00:21:22,468 | - Llama? - Are there llamas in China? | - Llama? - Are there llamas in China? |
242 | 00:21:22,560 | 00:21:24,636 | OK? | OK? |
243 | 00:21:25,855 | 00:21:28,891 | Are you all looking in the right direction? | Are you all looking in the right direction? |
244 | 00:21:28,983 | 00:21:31,652 | - See you later, girls! - Bye, love! | - See you later, girls! - Bye, love! |
245 | 00:21:31,735 | 00:21:33,395 | Bye. | Bye. |
246 | 00:21:34,238 | 00:21:36,195 | How's Annie? | How's Annie? |
247 | 00:21:36,282 | 00:21:38,773 | How can we help, do you think? | How can we help, do you think? |
248 | 00:21:41,954 | 00:21:44,824 | Are you doing anything tomorrow afternoon? | Are you doing anything tomorrow afternoon? |
249 | 00:21:44,915 | 00:21:46,991 | [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] | [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] |
250 | 00:21:55,384 | 00:21:57,460 | [GIRLS LAUGH] | [GIRLS LAUGH] |
251 | 00:22:00,430 | 00:22:04,262 | BOY: It is, I'm telling ya. Girls laughing's a good sign. | BOY: It is, I'm telling ya. Girls laughing's a good sign. |
252 | 00:22:05,769 | 00:22:07,845 | It's a top sign, I tell ya. | It's a top sign, I tell ya. |
253 | 00:22:08,897 | 00:22:11,186 | Bloody hell, if you're in with Debbie Nolan, | Bloody hell, if you're in with Debbie Nolan, |
254 | 00:22:11,274 | 00:22:16,351 | not bein' unsound here, but she has got the most fantastic tits. | not bein' unsound here, but she has got the most fantastic tits. |
255 | 00:22:16,446 | 00:22:19,281 | She has got fine mangoes. | She has got fine mangoes. |
256 | 00:22:20,325 | 00:22:25,865 | Actually, not mangoes. I don't imagine they'd be hard like mangoes. | Actually, not mangoes. I don't imagine they'd be hard like mangoes. |
257 | 00:22:25,955 | 00:22:28,031 | Maybe plums. | Maybe plums. |
258 | 00:22:29,000 | 00:22:33,163 | Ripe plums. You know, big, ripe plums. | Ripe plums. You know, big, ripe plums. |
259 | 00:22:37,467 | 00:22:39,708 | No, what am I saying? | No, what am I saying? |
260 | 00:22:39,802 | 00:22:42,637 | No, not plums. Balloons! | No, not plums. Balloons! |
261 | 00:22:42,722 | 00:22:46,636 | That's it. That's exactly what they're like. | That's it. That's exactly what they're like. |
262 | 00:22:46,726 | 00:22:50,558 | A pair of balloons you find behind your settee three days after a party. | A pair of balloons you find behind your settee three days after a party. |
263 | 00:22:50,646 | 00:22:55,059 | Gaz, will you stop talking about tits? | Gaz, will you stop talking about tits? |
264 | 00:22:55,985 | 00:22:59,519 | GAZ: Why would I ever wanna do that? | GAZ: Why would I ever wanna do that? |
265 | 00:23:00,739 | 00:23:03,112 | Well, I think it's a great idea. | Well, I think it's a great idea. |
266 | 00:23:03,200 | 00:23:07,114 | - You weren't concentrating, were you? - I was. | - You weren't concentrating, were you? - I was. |
267 | 00:23:07,204 | 00:23:11,783 | We're going to raise money for the hospital, to buy a sofa in John's name. | We're going to raise money for the hospital, to buy a sofa in John's name. |
268 | 00:23:11,875 | 00:23:14,793 | By posing for a nude calendar. | By posing for a nude calendar. |
269 | 00:23:17,464 | 00:23:18,709 | Oh, no. | Oh, no. |
270 | 00:23:18,799 | 00:23:23,259 | Oh, sit down. I'm not asking you to straddle a Harley-Davidson. | Oh, sit down. I'm not asking you to straddle a Harley-Davidson. |
271 | 00:23:23,345 | 00:23:25,717 | It's still a bit of a leap from Burnsall Church. | It's still a bit of a leap from Burnsall Church. |
272 | 00:23:25,806 | 00:23:31,808 | Yes, but that's the whole point. You see, like, it's an alternative calendar. It's... | Yes, but that's the whole point. You see, like, it's an alternative calendar. It's... |
273 | 00:23:31,895 | 00:23:35,180 | - It's what John suggested. - Did he? | - It's what John suggested. - Did he? |
274 | 00:23:35,273 | 00:23:39,318 | The last stage of the flower is the most glorious. | The last stage of the flower is the most glorious. |
275 | 00:23:39,402 | 00:23:44,610 | So what this calendar would be saying is "Yes, John, actually". We agree. | So what this calendar would be saying is "Yes, John, actually". We agree. |
276 | 00:23:44,699 | 00:23:50,702 | With respect, I didn't hear him use the phrase "whip your bras off". | With respect, I didn't hear him use the phrase "whip your bras off". |
277 | 00:23:52,123 | 00:23:55,492 | It's £999 in the leather, that sofa. | It's £999 in the leather, that sofa. |
278 | 00:23:55,585 | 00:23:59,713 | Can I remind you how much last year's calendar raised? | Can I remind you how much last year's calendar raised? |
279 | 00:23:59,797 | 00:24:03,332 | £75.60. | £75.60. |
280 | 00:24:04,802 | 00:24:08,467 | - Are you havin' it? - We're havin' it, all right. | - Are you havin' it? - We're havin' it, all right. |
281 | 00:24:08,556 | 00:24:10,216 | Come on. | Come on. |
282 | 00:24:10,308 | 00:24:12,431 | Yeah, we'll get back to you, thank you. | Yeah, we'll get back to you, thank you. |
283 | 00:24:12,518 | 00:24:13,847 | JEM: She's... | JEM: She's... |
284 | 00:24:15,313 | 00:24:18,183 | I don't know. She's being weird. | I don't know. She's being weird. |
285 | 00:24:18,274 | 00:24:21,109 | Normal weird, or weird weird? | Normal weird, or weird weird? |
286 | 00:24:21,193 | 00:24:24,858 | - She found this. - You're kidding? Big Bazookas? | - She found this. - You're kidding? Big Bazookas? |
287 | 00:24:24,947 | 00:24:29,823 | - I saw her looking at it. - God, I bet she went off her head. | - I saw her looking at it. - God, I bet she went off her head. |
288 | 00:24:29,910 | 00:24:33,955 | My mum did when she found me Rubber Housewives. | My mum did when she found me Rubber Housewives. |
289 | 00:24:35,791 | 00:24:38,033 | It's a difficult age. | It's a difficult age. |
290 | 00:24:38,127 | 00:24:42,788 | Round about now, women go through a difficult age, | Round about now, women go through a difficult age, |
291 | 00:24:43,549 | 00:24:48,625 | when they get all irrational and odd and difficult to predict. | when they get all irrational and odd and difficult to predict. |
292 | 00:24:48,720 | 00:24:52,255 | - How do you know? - Me dad told me. | - How do you know? - Me dad told me. |
293 | 00:24:52,349 | 00:24:54,555 | - Right. - No. | - Right. - No. |
294 | 00:24:54,643 | 00:24:57,679 | I've got to go, anyway. Eddie's getting back from Ilkley. | I've got to go, anyway. Eddie's getting back from Ilkley. |
295 | 00:24:57,771 | 00:25:01,306 | Nobody's going to see anything, I promise you. You take the picture. | Nobody's going to see anything, I promise you. You take the picture. |
296 | 00:25:01,399 | 00:25:03,688 | I'm not quite sure how to... | I'm not quite sure how to... |
297 | 00:25:05,195 | 00:25:07,946 | - Not yet. Wait. - You've just taken one of the table. | - Not yet. Wait. - You've just taken one of the table. |
298 | 00:25:08,031 | 00:25:10,901 | Won't sell a lot of calendars, will it? It's that one. | Won't sell a lot of calendars, will it? It's that one. |
299 | 00:25:10,992 | 00:25:13,993 | - But it's very sensitive. - Right. | - But it's very sensitive. - Right. |
300 | 00:25:15,497 | 00:25:17,703 | Can anyone see my nipples? | Can anyone see my nipples? |
301 | 00:25:18,208 | 00:25:21,790 | - You bloody would if it were your mum. - Look, what's she done? | - You bloody would if it were your mum. - Look, what's she done? |
302 | 00:25:21,878 | 00:25:25,461 | Flicked through one jazz mag and looked at a mucky calendar. | Flicked through one jazz mag and looked at a mucky calendar. |
303 | 00:25:25,548 | 00:25:27,920 | That doesn't make her a lesbian. | That doesn't make her a lesbian. |
304 | 00:25:30,845 | 00:25:32,921 | Hi, Jem. | Hi, Jem. |
305 | 00:25:35,766 | 00:25:38,257 | Your mother's... Just, uh... | Your mother's... Just, uh... |
306 | 00:25:40,813 | 00:25:44,977 | Just go on upstairs with your friend, OK? | Just go on upstairs with your friend, OK? |
307 | 00:26:07,214 | 00:26:11,046 | - How was Ilkley? - Hey, what are you doing up? | - How was Ilkley? - Hey, what are you doing up? |
308 | 00:26:18,016 | 00:26:21,432 | - How'd it go? - Oh, you know. | - How'd it go? - Oh, you know. |
309 | 00:26:21,520 | 00:26:25,268 | They're not a scintillating lot, carpet dealers. | They're not a scintillating lot, carpet dealers. |
310 | 00:26:25,357 | 00:26:29,307 | They only get excited about bonded underlay. | They only get excited about bonded underlay. |
311 | 00:26:29,945 | 00:26:32,981 | - Coming to bed? - Aye, in a bit. | - Coming to bed? - Aye, in a bit. |
312 | 00:26:33,073 | 00:26:35,314 | Just having a wind-down. | Just having a wind-down. |
313 | 00:26:38,745 | 00:26:41,746 | TV: I don't want announcements of redundancies... | TV: I don't want announcements of redundancies... |
314 | 00:26:41,831 | 00:26:43,907 | [LAUGHTER] | [LAUGHTER] |
315 | 00:26:56,387 | 00:26:58,629 | I've come for my photos. | I've come for my photos. |
316 | 00:26:58,723 | 00:27:01,593 | Can't find my little receipt thingy. The name's Har... | Can't find my little receipt thingy. The name's Har... |
317 | 00:27:01,684 | 00:27:05,349 | Here they are. It's £4.99, please. | Here they are. It's £4.99, please. |
318 | 00:27:05,438 | 00:27:07,514 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
319 | 00:27:09,650 | 00:27:12,141 | Keep the penny. Thank you. | Keep the penny. Thank you. |
320 | 00:27:21,203 | 00:27:24,786 | - I'm surprised they printed it. - It's probably on the internet by now. | - I'm surprised they printed it. - It's probably on the internet by now. |
321 | 00:27:24,874 | 00:27:29,666 | By the sound of it, most people have seen it already. | By the sound of it, most people have seen it already. |
322 | 00:27:29,753 | 00:27:33,039 | For God's sake. I mean, lots of people have their photos taken | For God's sake. I mean, lots of people have their photos taken |
323 | 00:27:33,132 | 00:27:35,836 | with their tops off on holiday in Ibiza, don't they? | with their tops off on holiday in Ibiza, don't they? |
324 | 00:27:35,926 | 00:27:38,464 | I think it just probably came as a slight shock, | I think it just probably came as a slight shock, |
325 | 00:27:38,554 | 00:27:42,717 | what with the previous 15 photos being of flower arrangements. | what with the previous 15 photos being of flower arrangements. |
326 | 00:27:42,808 | 00:27:46,592 | I've screwed up a-bloody-gain, haven't I? Yet a-bloody-gain. | I've screwed up a-bloody-gain, haven't I? Yet a-bloody-gain. |
327 | 00:27:46,687 | 00:27:48,513 | Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. |
328 | 00:27:48,605 | 00:27:52,104 | Look, what we have to ask ourselves here is this. | Look, what we have to ask ourselves here is this. |
329 | 00:27:52,192 | 00:27:55,395 | What is the difference between this and the Venus de Milo? | What is the difference between this and the Venus de Milo? |
330 | 00:27:55,487 | 00:27:58,025 | Oh, I love quizzes. | Oh, I love quizzes. |
331 | 00:27:58,114 | 00:28:00,356 | - The cooker? - Celia. | - The cooker? - Celia. |
332 | 00:28:01,326 | 00:28:04,031 | Both feature women with their breasts exposed. | Both feature women with their breasts exposed. |
333 | 00:28:04,120 | 00:28:06,790 | What makes one a work of art? | What makes one a work of art? |
334 | 00:28:06,873 | 00:28:10,207 | I think the answer to that's very simple. An artist. | I think the answer to that's very simple. An artist. |
335 | 00:28:10,293 | 00:28:12,369 | She's clever. | She's clever. |
336 | 00:28:14,631 | 00:28:16,707 | An artist. | An artist. |
337 | 00:28:26,476 | 00:28:28,349 | She's lovely. | She's lovely. |
338 | 00:28:28,436 | 00:28:31,223 | A lovely light you've used on the face there. | A lovely light you've used on the face there. |
339 | 00:28:31,314 | 00:28:35,146 | Got her eyes, didn't he? And all those curls. | Got her eyes, didn't he? And all those curls. |
340 | 00:28:35,234 | 00:28:36,859 | Lovely. | Lovely. |
341 | 00:28:36,944 | 00:28:39,151 | Oh. | Oh. |
342 | 00:28:39,238 | 00:28:42,607 | So, have you photographed many humans, or is it mainly... | So, have you photographed many humans, or is it mainly... |
343 | 00:28:42,700 | 00:28:45,321 | It is mainly poodles. | It is mainly poodles. |
344 | 00:28:45,411 | 00:28:48,246 | The blood represents globalisation | The blood represents globalisation |
345 | 00:28:48,330 | 00:28:52,494 | and the sheep's skull is the death of democracy. | and the sheep's skull is the death of democracy. |
346 | 00:28:53,460 | 00:28:57,292 | - And the carrot? - The carrot is capitalism. | - And the carrot? - The carrot is capitalism. |
347 | 00:29:02,678 | 00:29:07,553 | Mainly orchids. I'm particularly interested in woodland orchids. | Mainly orchids. I'm particularly interested in woodland orchids. |
348 | 00:29:07,641 | 00:29:12,635 | And butterflies. I love photographing native butterflies. | And butterflies. I love photographing native butterflies. |
349 | 00:29:12,729 | 00:29:15,303 | What exactly is your project? | What exactly is your project? |
350 | 00:29:19,361 | 00:29:21,852 | Hello, ladies. | Hello, ladies. |
351 | 00:29:25,617 | 00:29:27,693 | You'll be all right. | You'll be all right. |
352 | 00:29:29,663 | 00:29:33,707 | This is crazy. He won't remember. | This is crazy. He won't remember. |
353 | 00:29:33,792 | 00:29:38,869 | He must see thousands of people come through here every day. | He must see thousands of people come through here every day. |
354 | 00:29:38,963 | 00:29:42,463 | Mrs. Clarke? John's wife? | Mrs. Clarke? John's wife? |
355 | 00:29:42,550 | 00:29:43,831 | Yeah. | Yeah. |
356 | 00:29:43,927 | 00:29:46,215 | Hiya. | Hiya. |
357 | 00:29:46,429 | 00:29:48,505 | Hiya. | Hiya. |
358 | 00:29:54,270 | 00:29:56,346 | Are you serious? | Are you serious? |
359 | 00:29:56,439 | 00:30:01,943 | You've got 12 women in Skipton who are all committed to doin' a nude photo shoot? | You've got 12 women in Skipton who are all committed to doin' a nude photo shoot? |
360 | 00:30:02,028 | 00:30:04,945 | - Well, technically we haven't got 12. - Yes. | - Well, technically we haven't got 12. - Yes. |
361 | 00:30:05,031 | 00:30:08,980 | So long as we can find the right photographer. | So long as we can find the right photographer. |
362 | 00:30:12,121 | 00:30:14,612 | [PLAYS "AVE MARIA" ON ORGAN] | [PLAYS "AVE MARIA" ON ORGAN] |
363 | 00:30:20,004 | 00:30:24,048 | [WHISPERS] We've found the right photographer. | [WHISPERS] We've found the right photographer. |
364 | 00:30:24,133 | 00:30:26,802 | Are you going to commit to it? | Are you going to commit to it? |
365 | 00:30:26,885 | 00:30:28,961 | You are? | You are? |
366 | 00:30:30,973 | 00:30:33,546 | Sorry. | Sorry. |
367 | 00:30:33,642 | 00:30:39,016 | Don't think of it as naked, Cora. It's not naked. It's nude. | Don't think of it as naked, Cora. It's not naked. It's nude. |
368 | 00:30:39,773 | 00:30:44,898 | Annie, I am 55 years old. | Annie, I am 55 years old. |
369 | 00:30:45,946 | 00:30:50,240 | So if I'm not gonna get 'em out now, when am I? | So if I'm not gonna get 'em out now, when am I? |
370 | 00:30:51,243 | 00:30:53,947 | [PLAYS "HERE COMES THE BRIDE"] | [PLAYS "HERE COMES THE BRIDE"] |
371 | 00:30:54,037 | 00:30:57,655 | It's the whole showing-your-breasts issue that concerns me. | It's the whole showing-your-breasts issue that concerns me. |
372 | 00:30:57,749 | 00:31:01,165 | I think the whole point is that we don't properly. | I think the whole point is that we don't properly. |
373 | 00:31:01,252 | 00:31:04,040 | I know. That's what concerns me. | I know. That's what concerns me. |
374 | 00:31:06,299 | 00:31:09,798 | - Yours are good, are they? - They're tremendous. | - Yours are good, are they? - They're tremendous. |
375 | 00:31:11,095 | 00:31:15,259 | Jessie, we're getting to the point now where we really need to commit. | Jessie, we're getting to the point now where we really need to commit. |
376 | 00:31:15,350 | 00:31:18,054 | - Now, I know... - No front bottoms. | - Now, I know... - No front bottoms. |
377 | 00:31:18,144 | 00:31:19,424 | What? | What? |
378 | 00:31:19,520 | 00:31:22,936 | I'm in, just as long as it's no front bottoms. | I'm in, just as long as it's no front bottoms. |
379 | 00:31:23,024 | 00:31:25,941 | That's a sight I've reserved for just one man in my life. | That's a sight I've reserved for just one man in my life. |
380 | 00:31:26,027 | 00:31:29,443 | - Do you think your husband'll mind? - It wasn't my husband. | - Do you think your husband'll mind? - It wasn't my husband. |
381 | 00:31:29,530 | 00:31:33,444 | - Course you've got a body worth lookin' at. - Just look at that parking! | - Course you've got a body worth lookin' at. - Just look at that parking! |
382 | 00:31:33,534 | 00:31:34,364 | Ruth. | Ruth. |
383 | 00:31:34,452 | 00:31:36,943 | Doesn't it annoy you when people take two spaces? | Doesn't it annoy you when people take two spaces? |
384 | 00:31:37,038 | 00:31:40,905 | Look, none of us have got a body worth looking at. | Look, none of us have got a body worth looking at. |
385 | 00:31:41,000 | 00:31:43,491 | No, well, that's not... | No, well, that's not... |
386 | 00:31:45,880 | 00:31:50,292 | We're not all Chrises in this life. Some of us are Ruths. | We're not all Chrises in this life. Some of us are Ruths. |
387 | 00:31:50,384 | 00:31:52,460 | I'm sorry. | I'm sorry. |
388 | 00:31:53,512 | 00:31:55,588 | Ruth. Ruth. | Ruth. Ruth. |
389 | 00:32:15,283 | 00:32:18,735 | Right, I did a bit of thinking about this calendar. | Right, I did a bit of thinking about this calendar. |
390 | 00:32:20,580 | 00:32:24,281 | OK, I think there's a trick we could play here. | OK, I think there's a trick we could play here. |
391 | 00:32:24,376 | 00:32:28,872 | At first glance, it should look like your classic WI calendar. | At first glance, it should look like your classic WI calendar. |
392 | 00:32:28,963 | 00:32:33,424 | You know, all your jams, cakes, sewing and all that. | You know, all your jams, cakes, sewing and all that. |
393 | 00:32:33,510 | 00:32:35,965 | You know, everything you'd expect. | You know, everything you'd expect. |
394 | 00:32:36,054 | 00:32:38,627 | Except for one tiny thing. | Except for one tiny thing. |
395 | 00:32:39,682 | 00:32:44,261 | The person doing it is, uh... naked. | The person doing it is, uh... naked. |
396 | 00:32:53,404 | 00:32:58,362 | It's... It's perfect, Lawrence. Really, it's perfect. | It's... It's perfect, Lawrence. Really, it's perfect. |
397 | 00:32:58,451 | 00:33:03,528 | A different girl for every month in a different guise. | A different girl for every month in a different guise. |
398 | 00:33:03,623 | 00:33:06,576 | Painting, um... press. | Painting, um... press. |
399 | 00:33:07,585 | 00:33:11,534 | Until December, when I thought we could do a group photo of you all together, | Until December, when I thought we could do a group photo of you all together, |
400 | 00:33:11,630 | 00:33:14,833 | you know, singin' a Christmas carol. | you know, singin' a Christmas carol. |
401 | 00:33:14,925 | 00:33:18,259 | With little hats on, like Father Christmas. | With little hats on, like Father Christmas. |
402 | 00:33:18,345 | 00:33:23,007 | There's just one small problem. The photographer's a man. | There's just one small problem. The photographer's a man. |
403 | 00:33:23,100 | 00:33:25,805 | The point is we won't actually be showing anything. | The point is we won't actually be showing anything. |
404 | 00:33:25,894 | 00:33:31,233 | In the photos. I imagine a considerable amount will be on display in the room. | In the photos. I imagine a considerable amount will be on display in the room. |
405 | 00:33:31,316 | 00:33:33,108 | That's a point. | That's a point. |
406 | 00:33:33,193 | 00:33:35,565 | He'll have to be in the room to take the photos. | He'll have to be in the room to take the photos. |
407 | 00:33:35,654 | 00:33:39,734 | - With us naked! - Well, nude. | - With us naked! - Well, nude. |
408 | 00:33:39,825 | 00:33:43,359 | Listen, an art photographer doesn't see a naked woman. | Listen, an art photographer doesn't see a naked woman. |
409 | 00:33:43,453 | 00:33:48,115 | - He sees a life model. - Yes, the nudity isn't important. | - He sees a life model. - Yes, the nudity isn't important. |
410 | 00:33:48,208 | 00:33:50,580 | Easy to say when you've got your knickers on. | Easy to say when you've got your knickers on. |
411 | 00:33:50,669 | 00:33:53,670 | He'll be looking at us as an artist. | He'll be looking at us as an artist. |
412 | 00:33:53,755 | 00:33:56,163 | - I've heard that one before. - Have you? | - I've heard that one before. - Have you? |
413 | 00:33:56,257 | 00:33:59,626 | - He's not that kind of bloke. - I've heard that one before an' all! | - He's not that kind of bloke. - I've heard that one before an' all! |
414 | 00:33:59,719 | 00:34:01,759 | Where is he? | Where is he? |
415 | 00:34:08,519 | 00:34:10,595 | Lawrence? | Lawrence? |
416 | 00:34:17,111 | 00:34:24,324 | I mean, have you any idea how intimidating it is to come in here in front of you lot? | I mean, have you any idea how intimidating it is to come in here in front of you lot? |
417 | 00:34:24,410 | 00:34:27,744 | How much it's taken that young man to do that? | How much it's taken that young man to do that? |
418 | 00:34:27,830 | 00:34:29,906 | [MUMBLING] Sorry. | [MUMBLING] Sorry. |
419 | 00:34:30,833 | 00:34:35,709 | Course we're not gonna go round parading ourselves in a room full of men. | Course we're not gonna go round parading ourselves in a room full of men. |
420 | 00:34:35,796 | 00:34:39,960 | This isn't... France, for God's sake. | This isn't... France, for God's sake. |
421 | 00:34:41,051 | 00:34:45,797 | Lawrence will set up the photo, leave the room, | Lawrence will set up the photo, leave the room, |
422 | 00:34:45,889 | 00:34:51,264 | dressing gowns come off, and one of us will click the shutter. | dressing gowns come off, and one of us will click the shutter. |
423 | 00:34:54,356 | 00:34:55,934 | Right. | Right. |
424 | 00:34:56,024 | 00:34:58,100 | Lawrence? | Lawrence? |
425 | 00:35:02,322 | 00:35:04,896 | I think these girls got something to say to you. | I think these girls got something to say to you. |
426 | 00:35:05,951 | 00:35:08,656 | - Sorry. - Sorry, Lawrence. | - Sorry. - Sorry, Lawrence. |
427 | 00:35:08,745 | 00:35:13,621 | ♪ I will not cease from mental fight ♪ | ♪ I will not cease from mental fight ♪ |
428 | 00:35:13,708 | 00:35:19,047 | ♪ Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand ♪ | ♪ Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand ♪ |
429 | 00:35:19,130 | 00:35:24,754 | ♪ Till we have built Jerusalem ♪ | ♪ Till we have built Jerusalem ♪ |
430 | 00:35:24,844 | 00:35:31,677 | ♪ In England's green and pleasant land ♪ | ♪ In England's green and pleasant land ♪ |
431 | 00:35:33,895 | 00:35:38,308 | Right. Has anyone any activities planned | Right. Has anyone any activities planned |
432 | 00:35:38,399 | 00:35:43,904 | we might want to seek approval for at National Conference? | we might want to seek approval for at National Conference? |
433 | 00:35:43,988 | 00:35:45,945 | It's always wise. | It's always wise. |
434 | 00:35:46,032 | 00:35:49,650 | We wouldn't want to do anything without National Committee approval, | We wouldn't want to do anything without National Committee approval, |
435 | 00:35:49,744 | 00:35:55,200 | not with Knapely being such a proud WI, with an unblemished reputation, | not with Knapely being such a proud WI, with an unblemished reputation, |
436 | 00:35:55,291 | 00:36:00,498 | where it would take only one small act by a few rogue individuals | where it would take only one small act by a few rogue individuals |
437 | 00:36:00,588 | 00:36:04,537 | to ruin a reputation that we've spent all these years... | to ruin a reputation that we've spent all these years... |
438 | 00:36:04,633 | 00:36:07,303 | All right, all right, all right. | All right, all right, all right. |
439 | 00:36:07,386 | 00:36:11,847 | Look, we're plannin' a calendar for John, everyone. | Look, we're plannin' a calendar for John, everyone. |
440 | 00:36:11,932 | 00:36:19,098 | Yeah, it's, um... to raise money to buy something for the relatives' room | Yeah, it's, um... to raise money to buy something for the relatives' room |
441 | 00:36:19,189 | 00:36:22,356 | in... in Knapely General. | in... in Knapely General. |
442 | 00:36:24,903 | 00:36:29,364 | - And? - And with us on it. | - And? - And with us on it. |
443 | 00:36:29,449 | 00:36:31,940 | One for each month. | One for each month. |
444 | 00:36:32,619 | 00:36:35,110 | And? | And? |
445 | 00:36:35,205 | 00:36:37,281 | Well... | Well... |
446 | 00:36:38,625 | 00:36:42,076 | - That's about it, really... - Naked! | - That's about it, really... - Naked! |
447 | 00:36:42,170 | 00:36:45,753 | - Naked? - Not naked. Nude. | - Naked? - Not naked. Nude. |
448 | 00:36:45,840 | 00:36:48,925 | - What's the difference? - Art. | - What's the difference? - Art. |
449 | 00:36:49,010 | 00:36:53,802 | And seein' Marie's raised the issue, we're a good few months short. | And seein' Marie's raised the issue, we're a good few months short. |
450 | 00:36:54,557 | 00:36:59,682 | Is that not because all this has the air of another one of Chris's great ideas? | Is that not because all this has the air of another one of Chris's great ideas? |
451 | 00:36:59,771 | 00:37:02,558 | Like the vodka-tasting night. | Like the vodka-tasting night. |
452 | 00:37:02,649 | 00:37:06,349 | No, no. Because I'm going to make sure this one turns out OK, Marie. | No, no. Because I'm going to make sure this one turns out OK, Marie. |
453 | 00:37:06,444 | 00:37:09,017 | Because it's for John. | Because it's for John. |
454 | 00:37:09,113 | 00:37:13,941 | It was inspired by John, and it's for John, and it's because of John. | It was inspired by John, and it's for John, and it's because of John. |
455 | 00:37:14,035 | 00:37:20,453 | And no matter what you might think of the idea, Marie, you're lookin' at January. | And no matter what you might think of the idea, Marie, you're lookin' at January. |
456 | 00:37:22,251 | 00:37:24,742 | February. | February. |
457 | 00:37:25,296 | 00:37:27,419 | March. | March. |
458 | 00:37:30,885 | 00:37:33,257 | April! | April! |
459 | 00:37:42,146 | 00:37:45,562 | Chris, do we have to make any special preparations? | Chris, do we have to make any special preparations? |
460 | 00:37:45,649 | 00:37:49,267 | Oh, no, no. These pictures are going to be us, girls, as we come. | Oh, no, no. These pictures are going to be us, girls, as we come. |
461 | 00:37:49,361 | 00:37:53,110 | - Oh, God. - Grey hair, cellulite, the lot. | - Oh, God. - Grey hair, cellulite, the lot. |
462 | 00:37:53,198 | 00:37:57,825 | Remember, The last phase is the most glorious! | Remember, The last phase is the most glorious! |
463 | 00:38:00,038 | 00:38:02,494 | Do you have any pictures of Rene Russo? | Do you have any pictures of Rene Russo? |
464 | 00:38:21,059 | 00:38:22,059 | Thanks. | Thanks. |
465 | 00:38:39,327 | 00:38:42,660 | - A week? - I know. | - A week? - I know. |
466 | 00:38:42,747 | 00:38:46,994 | It's a client. He does, um... you know this new chain of hotels? | It's a client. He does, um... you know this new chain of hotels? |
467 | 00:38:47,084 | 00:38:49,492 | Northern summat? | Northern summat? |
468 | 00:38:49,587 | 00:38:51,663 | Shall I come? | Shall I come? |
469 | 00:38:53,466 | 00:38:55,754 | - What? - Save your sanity, love. | - What? - Save your sanity, love. |
470 | 00:38:55,843 | 00:38:57,919 | You know, it's carpets. | You know, it's carpets. |
471 | 00:38:58,012 | 00:39:02,092 | If I raced dragsters, there might be summat worth watching. | If I raced dragsters, there might be summat worth watching. |
472 | 00:39:02,183 | 00:39:08,351 | Yeah, I wanted to play next Wednesday, but I've got a bloody board meeting. | Yeah, I wanted to play next Wednesday, but I've got a bloody board meeting. |
473 | 00:39:08,439 | 00:39:11,143 | Oh, darling, come on! | Oh, darling, come on! |
474 | 00:39:11,233 | 00:39:15,183 | - Your ball's over there. - I'm coming, Frank. | - Your ball's over there. - I'm coming, Frank. |
475 | 00:39:16,697 | 00:39:18,773 | [PHONE RINGS] | [PHONE RINGS] |
476 | 00:39:22,244 | 00:39:25,079 | T minus two hours. Bras off to avoid strap marks. | T minus two hours. Bras off to avoid strap marks. |
477 | 00:39:25,163 | 00:39:28,034 | As we speak, darling. As we speak. | As we speak, darling. As we speak. |
478 | 00:39:28,125 | 00:39:29,951 | Darling? Come on! | Darling? Come on! |
479 | 00:39:30,043 | 00:39:32,119 | Good girl. | Good girl. |
480 | 00:40:03,743 | 00:40:06,448 | - CORA: We're going to go. - JESSIE: We're going to go. | - CORA: We're going to go. - JESSIE: We're going to go. |
481 | 00:40:06,537 | 00:40:09,028 | - That's the decision. - That's the decision. | - That's the decision. - That's the decision. |
482 | 00:40:09,123 | 00:40:13,121 | JESSIE: We're going to go and tell them we're not going to do it. | JESSIE: We're going to go and tell them we're not going to do it. |
483 | 00:40:24,096 | 00:40:26,766 | In, in, in. Quick! | In, in, in. Quick! |
484 | 00:40:39,486 | 00:40:44,611 | You have to realise I've never appeared nude in front of anyone in my life. | You have to realise I've never appeared nude in front of anyone in my life. |
485 | 00:40:44,700 | 00:40:46,823 | - Not even Frank? - Frank's a major. | - Not even Frank? - Frank's a major. |
486 | 00:40:46,910 | 00:40:50,611 | We approach nudity on a strictly need-to-know basis. | We approach nudity on a strictly need-to-know basis. |
487 | 00:40:50,706 | 00:40:53,457 | None of us have been here before, love. | None of us have been here before, love. |
488 | 00:40:53,542 | 00:40:58,963 | I mean, for God's sake, my John didn't see me naked until the spring of 1975. | I mean, for God's sake, my John didn't see me naked until the spring of 1975. |
489 | 00:40:59,047 | 00:41:01,336 | What happened in the spring of '75? | What happened in the spring of '75? |
490 | 00:41:01,425 | 00:41:05,007 | There was a lizard in the shower block at Abergele. | There was a lizard in the shower block at Abergele. |
491 | 00:41:06,596 | 00:41:09,716 | Quite a few people saw me naked that morning. | Quite a few people saw me naked that morning. |
492 | 00:41:09,808 | 00:41:12,096 | [WOMEN LAUGHING] | [WOMEN LAUGHING] |
493 | 00:41:59,273 | 00:42:01,811 | Oh, that's not fair. | Oh, that's not fair. |
494 | 00:42:05,195 | 00:42:07,402 | Right. | Right. |
495 | 00:42:07,489 | 00:42:10,609 | - Shit or bust. - Shit or bust. | - Shit or bust. - Shit or bust. |
496 | 00:42:10,701 | 00:42:14,319 | - Right, Lawrence. - Ready when you are. | - Right, Lawrence. - Ready when you are. |
497 | 00:42:24,840 | 00:42:27,757 | They'll never go through with it. | They'll never go through with it. |
498 | 00:42:29,010 | 00:42:33,257 | - It's a tool of the trade. - Ladies, just bring the lamp up a bit. | - It's a tool of the trade. - Ladies, just bring the lamp up a bit. |
499 | 00:42:33,348 | 00:42:36,432 | - Raise the lamp for me. - No, don't touch that. | - Raise the lamp for me. - No, don't touch that. |
500 | 00:42:37,310 | 00:42:38,555 | OK? | OK? |
501 | 00:42:38,645 | 00:42:39,843 | Right. | Right. |
502 | 00:42:39,938 | 00:42:43,888 | Annie? Chris? Can you just clear frame for me? | Annie? Chris? Can you just clear frame for me? |
503 | 00:42:47,237 | 00:42:50,902 | OK, Celia, just lean in toward t'camera a little bit. | OK, Celia, just lean in toward t'camera a little bit. |
504 | 00:42:50,990 | 00:42:53,113 | Right. Enough? | Right. Enough? |
505 | 00:42:53,201 | 00:42:55,075 | Perfect. | Perfect. |
506 | 00:43:04,087 | 00:43:06,163 | OK. Ready. | OK. Ready. |
507 | 00:43:08,174 | 00:43:10,250 | Um... | Um... |
508 | 00:43:11,886 | 00:43:13,463 | OK. | OK. |
509 | 00:43:17,683 | 00:43:21,895 | Lawrence, we're going to need considerably bigger buns. | Lawrence, we're going to need considerably bigger buns. |
510 | 00:43:34,491 | 00:43:36,567 | Weren't the buns flat? | Weren't the buns flat? |
511 | 00:43:38,537 | 00:43:41,075 | No! Don't mess with the buns! | No! Don't mess with the buns! |
512 | 00:43:41,165 | 00:43:43,453 | I like them like this. They cover more. | I like them like this. They cover more. |
513 | 00:43:43,542 | 00:43:46,496 | No, don't touch the composition! | No, don't touch the composition! |
514 | 00:43:46,587 | 00:43:50,750 | - But, Lawrence, were the top buns flat? - They're flat! | - But, Lawrence, were the top buns flat? - They're flat! |
515 | 00:43:50,841 | 00:43:53,960 | Yeah, but flat for us or flat for her? | Yeah, but flat for us or flat for her? |
516 | 00:43:56,263 | 00:43:58,054 | [ALL YELP] | [ALL YELP] |
517 | 00:43:59,141 | 00:44:01,928 | Don't touch the buns. | Don't touch the buns. |
518 | 00:44:04,229 | 00:44:05,972 | Please. | Please. |
519 | 00:44:06,648 | 00:44:08,724 | Sorry. | Sorry. |
520 | 00:44:11,069 | 00:44:13,560 | Bad girl. | Bad girl. |
521 | 00:44:13,655 | 00:44:15,731 | Bun toucher. | Bun toucher. |
522 | 00:44:16,825 | 00:44:21,154 | - LAWRENCE: She's got to look relaxed. - I am bloody relaxed. | - LAWRENCE: She's got to look relaxed. - I am bloody relaxed. |
523 | 00:44:21,246 | 00:44:24,116 | - LAWRENCE: And she's gotta smile. - I am smiling! | - LAWRENCE: And she's gotta smile. - I am smiling! |
524 | 00:44:24,207 | 00:44:28,501 | No, not too much. I want it enigmatic. | No, not too much. I want it enigmatic. |
525 | 00:44:29,796 | 00:44:34,125 | She looks like she's seen somebody she knows in the distance. | She looks like she's seen somebody she knows in the distance. |
526 | 00:44:35,802 | 00:44:43,133 | Left side up a little. Your right side down a little. And the middle section sort of... | Left side up a little. Your right side down a little. And the middle section sort of... |
527 | 00:44:43,225 | 00:44:47,603 | For God's sake, get bloody Botticelli in here. | For God's sake, get bloody Botticelli in here. |
528 | 00:44:48,272 | 00:44:51,392 | Lawrence. Get in here. | Lawrence. Get in here. |
529 | 00:44:59,158 | 00:45:01,613 | Chin down to your left. | Chin down to your left. |
530 | 00:45:03,871 | 00:45:06,409 | You look beautiful, Celia. | You look beautiful, Celia. |
531 | 00:45:12,296 | 00:45:14,169 | OK. | OK. |
532 | 00:45:14,256 | 00:45:16,414 | We're away. | We're away. |
533 | 00:45:16,508 | 00:45:19,426 | ["YOU UPSET ME, BABY" BY B B KING] | ["YOU UPSET ME, BABY" BY B B KING] |
534 | 00:45:23,640 | 00:45:27,305 | I used to be in a band in the '70s. One day... | I used to be in a band in the '70s. One day... |
535 | 00:45:32,232 | 00:45:33,607 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
536 | 00:45:35,860 | 00:45:38,019 | Yeah... | Yeah... |
537 | 00:46:02,512 | 00:46:06,177 | Come on, Sugden. It's your own time you're wasting. | Come on, Sugden. It's your own time you're wasting. |
538 | 00:46:06,265 | 00:46:09,052 | I was his junior school teacher. | I was his junior school teacher. |
539 | 00:46:10,686 | 00:46:15,147 | Oh, Jessie! What did I say about relaxing him? | Oh, Jessie! What did I say about relaxing him? |
540 | 00:46:15,232 | 00:46:18,482 | What did she say about relaxing him? | What did she say about relaxing him? |
541 | 00:46:46,388 | 00:46:48,464 | Cup of tea, girls? | Cup of tea, girls? |
542 | 00:46:59,609 | 00:47:01,685 | There's no E flat in "Jerusalem". | There's no E flat in "Jerusalem". |
543 | 00:47:01,778 | 00:47:04,150 | I'll be disappointed if they look at me fingers. | I'll be disappointed if they look at me fingers. |
544 | 00:47:40,441 | 00:47:41,816 | Oh. | Oh. |
545 | 00:47:41,901 | 00:47:43,977 | All right? | All right? |
546 | 00:47:46,864 | 00:47:49,355 | Are you doing this one? | Are you doing this one? |
547 | 00:47:51,076 | 00:47:52,736 | What's your name? | What's your name? |
548 | 00:47:52,828 | 00:47:55,497 | - Ruth. - Ruth. | - Ruth. - Ruth. |
549 | 00:47:55,581 | 00:47:58,333 | I'm Lawrence. Photographer. | I'm Lawrence. Photographer. |
550 | 00:48:02,004 | 00:48:03,996 | One minute. | One minute. |
551 | 00:48:12,514 | 00:48:15,800 | - Lawrence? Lawrence, who's next? - Ruth. | - Lawrence? Lawrence, who's next? - Ruth. |
552 | 00:48:15,892 | 00:48:17,387 | Ruth? | Ruth? |
553 | 00:48:17,477 | 00:48:20,264 | Ruth? No. No, wait. Lawrence! | Ruth? No. No, wait. Lawrence! |
554 | 00:48:36,121 | 00:48:38,694 | Right. Let's do it. | Right. Let's do it. |
555 | 00:48:56,516 | 00:49:00,300 | Could I have, well, you know, some privacy? | Could I have, well, you know, some privacy? |
556 | 00:49:03,022 | 00:49:06,889 | [CHANTING] Off! Off! Off! | [CHANTING] Off! Off! Off! |
557 | 00:49:06,984 | 00:49:11,313 | Off! Off! Off! Off! | Off! Off! Off! Off! |
558 | 00:49:18,120 | 00:49:23,245 | ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year ♪ | ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year ♪ |
559 | 00:49:43,103 | 00:49:47,231 | Congratulations. It's a calendar. | Congratulations. It's a calendar. |
560 | 00:49:56,366 | 00:49:59,735 | CHRIS: Yes, yes. Black and white with just one colour. | CHRIS: Yes, yes. Black and white with just one colour. |
561 | 00:49:59,828 | 00:50:03,528 | I don't know... 300... | I don't know... 300... |
562 | 00:50:03,623 | 00:50:05,663 | 400... | 400... |
563 | 00:50:05,750 | 00:50:08,668 | No, 500 copies. | No, 500 copies. |
564 | 00:50:08,753 | 00:50:11,244 | So how much would that be? | So how much would that be? |
565 | 00:50:16,052 | 00:50:18,424 | Thank you. Get back to you. | Thank you. Get back to you. |
566 | 00:50:18,513 | 00:50:21,300 | - It's never that much. - It bloody is. | - It's never that much. - It bloody is. |
567 | 00:50:22,850 | 00:50:25,057 | We're looking for sponsorship, | We're looking for sponsorship, |
568 | 00:50:25,144 | 00:50:28,015 | and my husband always used your products, you see. | and my husband always used your products, you see. |
569 | 00:50:28,105 | 00:50:31,225 | He worked for the National Park. | He worked for the National Park. |
570 | 00:50:31,317 | 00:50:33,642 | - John Clarke? - Yes, yes, that's right. | - John Clarke? - Yes, yes, that's right. |
571 | 00:50:33,736 | 00:50:35,812 | He died of leukaemia. | He died of leukaemia. |
572 | 00:50:35,905 | 00:50:39,855 | - Aye, I know. I'm sorry. - Thank you. | - Aye, I know. I'm sorry. - Thank you. |
573 | 00:50:39,950 | 00:50:44,493 | - What do you need sponsorship for? - OK, um... | - What do you need sponsorship for? - OK, um... |
574 | 00:50:51,462 | 00:50:56,420 | We're getting there. But the sunflower needs to leap out at you. More yellow. | We're getting there. But the sunflower needs to leap out at you. More yellow. |
575 | 00:50:56,508 | 00:51:01,503 | - Quiet! Look, you can't all be July. - It's my birthday in July. | - Quiet! Look, you can't all be July. - It's my birthday in July. |
576 | 00:51:01,597 | 00:51:04,681 | My divorce came through in March. I'd like to be September. | My divorce came through in March. I'd like to be September. |
577 | 00:51:07,811 | 00:51:09,887 | [KNOCKING] | [KNOCKING] |
578 | 00:51:17,529 | 00:51:18,359 | Marie. | Marie. |
579 | 00:51:18,447 | 00:51:22,147 | I'm not disturbing you, am I? I was just passing. | I'm not disturbing you, am I? I was just passing. |
580 | 00:51:22,242 | 00:51:26,109 | I bought, um... They're nothing much. | I bought, um... They're nothing much. |
581 | 00:51:26,204 | 00:51:29,538 | Oh, Marie, they're lovely. Come on in. | Oh, Marie, they're lovely. Come on in. |
582 | 00:51:35,588 | 00:51:38,673 | I never felt I really knew John. | I never felt I really knew John. |
583 | 00:51:39,801 | 00:51:43,549 | He worked for the National Park, didn't he? | He worked for the National Park, didn't he? |
584 | 00:51:44,681 | 00:51:50,304 | - I just wanted to say, if there's anything... - These are beautiful. Are they gerberas? | - I just wanted to say, if there's anything... - These are beautiful. Are they gerberas? |
585 | 00:51:50,395 | 00:51:52,968 | Gorgeous. | Gorgeous. |
586 | 00:51:53,064 | 00:51:58,734 | You should get away for a bit. Have a holiday. You know, get out of Knapely. | You should get away for a bit. Have a holiday. You know, get out of Knapely. |
587 | 00:51:58,819 | 00:52:01,986 | - You trying to get rid of me? - No, no. I just... | - You trying to get rid of me? - No, no. I just... |
588 | 00:52:03,699 | 00:52:07,567 | - I feel I have to say something, Annie. - More tea? | - I feel I have to say something, Annie. - More tea? |
589 | 00:52:07,661 | 00:52:09,737 | No, no. | No, no. |
590 | 00:52:11,499 | 00:52:14,784 | I do know how difficult things must be for you at the moment, | I do know how difficult things must be for you at the moment, |
591 | 00:52:14,877 | 00:52:17,546 | how you must be feeling. | how you must be feeling. |
592 | 00:52:17,630 | 00:52:21,627 | Do you? Oh, dear. | Do you? Oh, dear. |
593 | 00:52:23,260 | 00:52:27,554 | Do you think John would have approved of this, Annie? Really? | Do you think John would have approved of this, Annie? Really? |
594 | 00:52:27,639 | 00:52:29,965 | You didn't know John, you say? | You didn't know John, you say? |
595 | 00:52:30,058 | 00:52:33,677 | No, but I know that he was a good man, a decent man. | No, but I know that he was a good man, a decent man. |
596 | 00:52:34,813 | 00:52:38,893 | If your concern is for the reputation of Knapely WI... | If your concern is for the reputation of Knapely WI... |
597 | 00:52:38,984 | 00:52:42,435 | - No, that's not what I'm saying. - Well, I think it is. | - No, that's not what I'm saying. - Well, I think it is. |
598 | 00:52:42,529 | 00:52:46,112 | The WI is about doing good. | The WI is about doing good. |
599 | 00:52:46,199 | 00:52:49,864 | And I think we have to ask ourselves what does more good - | And I think we have to ask ourselves what does more good - |
600 | 00:52:49,953 | 00:52:54,531 | knowing slightly more about broccoli one week than we did the last | knowing slightly more about broccoli one week than we did the last |
601 | 00:52:54,624 | 00:52:58,325 | or providing some comfort for someone in the worst hours of their life? | or providing some comfort for someone in the worst hours of their life? |
602 | 00:52:58,420 | 00:53:00,792 | Because that's what it's like, sweetheart. | Because that's what it's like, sweetheart. |
603 | 00:53:00,880 | 00:53:04,960 | And, no, I don't think you do know how I feel. | And, no, I don't think you do know how I feel. |
604 | 00:53:07,053 | 00:53:09,129 | CHRIS: Annie! | CHRIS: Annie! |
605 | 00:53:09,847 | 00:53:11,757 | Result! | Result! |
606 | 00:53:11,849 | 00:53:14,387 | Oh. Oh, hello, Marie. | Oh. Oh, hello, Marie. |
607 | 00:53:14,477 | 00:53:16,968 | Sorry, were you...? | Sorry, were you...? |
608 | 00:53:17,063 | 00:53:20,396 | I don't know. Marie, had you finished? | I don't know. Marie, had you finished? |
609 | 00:53:21,234 | 00:53:25,362 | You wanna put a penny in with those. They last longer. | You wanna put a penny in with those. They last longer. |
610 | 00:53:25,446 | 00:53:27,735 | Chris. | Chris. |
611 | 00:53:27,823 | 00:53:31,157 | - [WHISPERS] What was that about? - Don't ask. What's the result? | - [WHISPERS] What was that about? - Don't ask. What's the result? |
612 | 00:53:31,243 | 00:53:33,817 | - I've got us a sponsor. - What? | - I've got us a sponsor. - What? |
613 | 00:53:33,913 | 00:53:37,032 | [BLOWS RASPBERRY] ...to the old farts at Carmichael's Seeds. | [BLOWS RASPBERRY] ...to the old farts at Carmichael's Seeds. |
614 | 00:53:37,124 | 00:53:40,042 | Say hello to the lovely people at Jennings. | Say hello to the lovely people at Jennings. |
615 | 00:53:40,127 | 00:53:41,127 | The beer? | The beer? |
616 | 00:53:41,170 | 00:53:43,957 | - Printing costs and a press launch. - The beer people? | - Printing costs and a press launch. - The beer people? |
617 | 00:53:44,048 | 00:53:47,547 | All we have to do is put their little logo at the bottom of each page. | All we have to do is put their little logo at the bottom of each page. |
618 | 00:53:47,635 | 00:53:52,462 | No, but the seed company made sense cos, you know, John loved flowers. | No, but the seed company made sense cos, you know, John loved flowers. |
619 | 00:53:52,556 | 00:53:55,806 | But he never drank beer, Chris. You know that. | But he never drank beer, Chris. You know that. |
620 | 00:53:55,893 | 00:53:58,384 | It's not about the beer. It's about their money. | It's not about the beer. It's about their money. |
621 | 00:53:58,479 | 00:54:01,016 | [PHONE RINGS] | [PHONE RINGS] |
622 | 00:54:10,991 | 00:54:14,027 | LAWRENCE: There it is. Have a look. | LAWRENCE: There it is. Have a look. |
623 | 00:54:14,119 | 00:54:16,824 | ANNIE: It's beautiful. | ANNIE: It's beautiful. |
624 | 00:54:23,545 | 00:54:28,705 | Hello, is this the Skipton News? Could I speak to your publicity person, please? | Hello, is this the Skipton News? Could I speak to your publicity person, please? |
625 | 00:54:28,800 | 00:54:30,876 | I want to make an announcement. | I want to make an announcement. |
626 | 00:54:30,969 | 00:54:33,673 | Madam Chairman, can I just... Sorry. | Madam Chairman, can I just... Sorry. |
627 | 00:54:33,763 | 00:54:37,346 | Madam Chairman, I'm sorry. Sorry. | Madam Chairman, I'm sorry. Sorry. |
628 | 00:54:37,433 | 00:54:39,177 | - It's Knapely. - Sorry? | - It's Knapely. - Sorry? |
629 | 00:54:39,269 | 00:54:41,391 | - In Yorkshire. - Charming. | - In Yorkshire. - Charming. |
630 | 00:54:41,479 | 00:54:45,524 | Listen. I'm sorry to bother you in the middle of conference, | Listen. I'm sorry to bother you in the middle of conference, |
631 | 00:54:45,608 | 00:54:50,021 | but there's an issue come up at my WI which I feel duty-bound to inform you of. | but there's an issue come up at my WI which I feel duty-bound to inform you of. |
632 | 00:54:50,113 | 00:54:53,778 | Well, you'll have to be brief. This way. | Well, you'll have to be brief. This way. |
633 | 00:54:56,619 | 00:55:00,403 | - Bastard! - She wouldn't have done it deliberately. | - Bastard! - She wouldn't have done it deliberately. |
634 | 00:55:00,498 | 00:55:04,542 | - The absolute, and I hate to use the word... - Well, don't then. | - The absolute, and I hate to use the word... - Well, don't then. |
635 | 00:55:04,627 | 00:55:07,711 | - It might have just slipped out. - Oh, yes, to Brenda Mooney. | - It might have just slipped out. - Oh, yes, to Brenda Mooney. |
636 | 00:55:07,797 | 00:55:11,925 | Who happens to be Madam Chairman of the National WI Federation. | Who happens to be Madam Chairman of the National WI Federation. |
637 | 00:55:12,009 | 00:55:13,384 | We could... | We could... |
638 | 00:55:13,469 | 00:55:16,719 | I mean, Marie has deliberately poured poison down there. | I mean, Marie has deliberately poured poison down there. |
639 | 00:55:16,805 | 00:55:21,135 | - Well, we'll just... - Do what, Ruth? Please tell me. | - Well, we'll just... - Do what, Ruth? Please tell me. |
640 | 00:55:21,226 | 00:55:25,271 | Seeing as 500 calendars are being printed as we speak. | Seeing as 500 calendars are being printed as we speak. |
641 | 00:55:25,355 | 00:55:29,353 | If we can't use the name Women's Institute, we just don't use it. | If we can't use the name Women's Institute, we just don't use it. |
642 | 00:55:29,443 | 00:55:33,310 | If it's not the Women's Institute, it's just a load of middle-aged women | If it's not the Women's Institute, it's just a load of middle-aged women |
643 | 00:55:33,405 | 00:55:37,782 | mysteriously standing naked behind fruitcakes. | mysteriously standing naked behind fruitcakes. |
644 | 00:55:40,287 | 00:55:44,035 | Oh, my God! It would look like pornography! | Oh, my God! It would look like pornography! |
645 | 00:55:49,504 | 00:55:51,662 | But I don't know what's on the order form. | But I don't know what's on the order form. |
646 | 00:55:51,756 | 00:55:55,540 | It's under the tin can where the bent nail used to be. | It's under the tin can where the bent nail used to be. |
647 | 00:55:55,635 | 00:55:58,838 | You're gonna have to sort this one out on your own, sweetheart. | You're gonna have to sort this one out on your own, sweetheart. |
648 | 00:55:58,930 | 00:56:01,931 | Why? Where the hell are you? | Why? Where the hell are you? |
649 | 00:56:02,016 | 00:56:07,093 | Tell you later. I'll be back tonight for the press conference. Bye! | Tell you later. I'll be back tonight for the press conference. Bye! |
650 | 00:56:10,858 | 00:56:15,105 | Oh, uh, Chris Harper and Annie Clarke from Knapely to see Brenda Mooney. | Oh, uh, Chris Harper and Annie Clarke from Knapely to see Brenda Mooney. |
651 | 00:56:15,196 | 00:56:17,983 | - Are you official delegates? - Yes, from Knapely. | - Are you official delegates? - Yes, from Knapely. |
652 | 00:56:18,074 | 00:56:22,570 | - Yes, from Knapely. - And you're here to do an open spot? | - Yes, from Knapely. - And you're here to do an open spot? |
653 | 00:56:22,662 | 00:56:25,828 | - Right. Follow me. - We're in. | - Right. Follow me. - We're in. |
654 | 00:56:28,376 | 00:56:31,791 | - What's an open spot? Sounds painful. - I don't know. | - What's an open spot? Sounds painful. - I don't know. |
655 | 00:56:31,879 | 00:56:34,750 | - Very last minute. Go on straight away. - On where? | - Very last minute. Go on straight away. - On where? |
656 | 00:56:34,840 | 00:56:36,418 | Don't know. | Don't know. |
657 | 00:56:37,927 | 00:56:40,500 | - Which WI are you? - We're from Knapely. | - Which WI are you? - We're from Knapely. |
658 | 00:56:40,596 | 00:56:43,087 | There are lots of them. | There are lots of them. |
659 | 00:56:45,851 | 00:56:50,180 | Um, Brenda... Sorry. Madam Chairperson... | Um, Brenda... Sorry. Madam Chairperson... |
660 | 00:56:50,272 | 00:56:53,143 | - "Conference" please. - Sorry? I beg your pardon? | - "Conference" please. - Sorry? I beg your pardon? |
661 | 00:56:53,233 | 00:56:55,807 | Address the whole conference, please. | Address the whole conference, please. |
662 | 00:56:55,903 | 00:56:57,979 | Oh... | Oh... |
663 | 00:57:07,748 | 00:57:10,535 | Go on. You can do it. | Go on. You can do it. |
664 | 00:57:10,625 | 00:57:15,833 | The final open spot of the morning is the delegate from Knappely. | The final open spot of the morning is the delegate from Knappely. |
665 | 00:57:15,922 | 00:57:17,998 | - Knapely. - Knapely. | - Knapely. - Knapely. |
666 | 00:57:23,346 | 00:57:25,422 | I... | I... |
667 | 00:57:26,433 | 00:57:28,259 | Uh... | Uh... |
668 | 00:57:28,351 | 00:57:34,603 | We wanted to come to ask approval from... | We wanted to come to ask approval from... |
669 | 00:57:36,859 | 00:57:38,935 | well, from you all. | well, from you all. |
670 | 00:57:40,988 | 00:57:45,567 | We want to do a WI calendar | We want to do a WI calendar |
671 | 00:57:45,660 | 00:57:49,907 | which raises enough money to buy, um... | which raises enough money to buy, um... |
672 | 00:57:51,290 | 00:57:56,036 | a chair or a seat, a sofa, or... | a chair or a seat, a sofa, or... |
673 | 00:57:56,921 | 00:58:00,005 | well, anything, really... | well, anything, really... |
674 | 00:58:05,721 | 00:58:07,797 | Sorry. | Sorry. |
675 | 00:58:12,603 | 00:58:14,394 | Um... | Um... |
676 | 00:58:14,480 | 00:58:17,896 | OK, so, the thing is here, | OK, so, the thing is here, |
677 | 00:58:17,983 | 00:58:23,439 | is that the hospital local to us in Knapely is where my John... | is that the hospital local to us in Knapely is where my John... |
678 | 00:58:26,408 | 00:58:28,484 | where... | where... |
679 | 00:58:31,663 | 00:58:33,739 | my husband... | my husband... |
680 | 00:58:40,797 | 00:58:44,380 | Thank you. Knapely, best of luck with the settee. Now... | Thank you. Knapely, best of luck with the settee. Now... |
681 | 00:58:44,467 | 00:58:48,002 | No, no, no. Just hold on. Just hold on a minute with your red light. | No, no, no. Just hold on. Just hold on a minute with your red light. |
682 | 00:58:48,096 | 00:58:52,046 | Sorry, does the other member from Knapely want to say something? | Sorry, does the other member from Knapely want to say something? |
683 | 00:58:52,142 | 00:58:55,345 | Yes, because she's about to commit heresy. | Yes, because she's about to commit heresy. |
684 | 00:58:56,354 | 00:58:58,845 | Hello. Here we go. | Hello. Here we go. |
685 | 00:59:00,275 | 00:59:04,023 | - Oh, God. - Look, I hate plum jam. | - Oh, God. - Look, I hate plum jam. |
686 | 00:59:04,112 | 00:59:06,519 | [LAUGHTER] | [LAUGHTER] |
687 | 00:59:07,949 | 00:59:10,819 | I only joined the WI to make my mother happy. | I only joined the WI to make my mother happy. |
688 | 00:59:10,910 | 00:59:15,619 | I do, I hate plum jam. I'm crap at cakes, I can't make sponge. | I do, I hate plum jam. I'm crap at cakes, I can't make sponge. |
689 | 00:59:15,706 | 00:59:20,000 | In fact, seeing as it's unlikely that George Clooney would actually come to Skipton | In fact, seeing as it's unlikely that George Clooney would actually come to Skipton |
690 | 00:59:20,086 | 00:59:22,458 | to do a talk on what it was like to be in ER, | to do a talk on what it was like to be in ER, |
691 | 00:59:22,546 | 00:59:26,591 | there seems very little reason for me to actually stay in the WI. | there seems very little reason for me to actually stay in the WI. |
692 | 00:59:26,675 | 00:59:33,674 | Except suddenly... suddenly I want to raise money in memory of a man I loved, | Except suddenly... suddenly I want to raise money in memory of a man I loved, |
693 | 00:59:33,766 | 00:59:37,514 | and to do that I'm prepared to take me clothes off for a WI calendar, | and to do that I'm prepared to take me clothes off for a WI calendar, |
694 | 00:59:37,603 | 00:59:41,470 | and if you can't give us 10 minutes of your time, Madam Chairman, | and if you can't give us 10 minutes of your time, Madam Chairman, |
695 | 00:59:41,565 | 00:59:45,515 | well then, frankly, guys, I'm going to do it without council approval. | well then, frankly, guys, I'm going to do it without council approval. |
696 | 00:59:45,611 | 00:59:50,652 | Because there are some things that are more important than council approval. | Because there are some things that are more important than council approval. |
697 | 00:59:50,741 | 00:59:54,608 | And if it means that we get closer to killing off | And if it means that we get closer to killing off |
698 | 00:59:54,703 | 01:00:01,915 | this shitty, cheating, sly, conniving bloody disease that cancer is, | this shitty, cheating, sly, conniving bloody disease that cancer is, |
699 | 01:00:02,002 | 01:00:06,580 | oh, God, I tell you, I'd run round Skipton market naked, smeared in plum jam, | oh, God, I tell you, I'd run round Skipton market naked, smeared in plum jam, |
700 | 01:00:06,673 | 01:00:13,506 | wearing nothing but a knitted tea cosy on me head and singing "Jerusalem". | wearing nothing but a knitted tea cosy on me head and singing "Jerusalem". |
701 | 01:00:25,400 | 01:00:27,772 | Let's break. | Let's break. |
702 | 01:00:27,861 | 01:00:30,233 | 10 minutes. | 10 minutes. |
703 | 01:00:44,168 | 01:00:47,122 | We don't do nudity. | We don't do nudity. |
704 | 01:00:47,213 | 01:00:51,791 | But we do do charity. Can I assume this is a local fundraiser | But we do do charity. Can I assume this is a local fundraiser |
705 | 01:00:51,884 | 01:00:54,968 | and you're not gonna be making too big a hoo-ha out of it? | and you're not gonna be making too big a hoo-ha out of it? |
706 | 01:00:55,054 | 01:00:57,627 | In which case, it's a branch matter, | In which case, it's a branch matter, |
707 | 01:00:57,723 | 01:01:02,930 | and I can leave any decision in the hands of your branch president. | and I can leave any decision in the hands of your branch president. |
708 | 01:01:03,020 | 01:01:05,096 | - Thank you. - Thank you. | - Thank you. - Thank you. |
709 | 01:01:11,153 | 01:01:13,229 | Oh, sod it. Go on, then. | Oh, sod it. Go on, then. |
710 | 01:01:25,751 | 01:01:29,831 | Evening News? Morning Herald? Did you invite the journalist from the Gazette? | Evening News? Morning Herald? Did you invite the journalist from the Gazette? |
711 | 01:01:29,921 | 01:01:34,299 | - ANNIE: Yes. - Actually, so did I. Here we go. | - ANNIE: Yes. - Actually, so did I. Here we go. |
712 | 01:01:34,384 | 01:01:37,504 | ANNIE: Thank you. Keep the change. | ANNIE: Thank you. Keep the change. |
713 | 01:01:38,555 | 01:01:41,307 | Oh, my God. It's half past. Come on. | Oh, my God. It's half past. Come on. |
714 | 01:01:41,391 | 01:01:44,558 | The girls will have done half the press conference by now. | The girls will have done half the press conference by now. |
715 | 01:01:44,644 | 01:01:48,476 | Right, where are we? I think it's down here. Come on. | Right, where are we? I think it's down here. Come on. |
716 | 01:02:04,330 | 01:02:10,285 | How many press releases did I send out? How many sodding press releases? | How many press releases did I send out? How many sodding press releases? |
717 | 01:02:10,378 | 01:02:15,336 | Bloody local paper! What bigger than this has happened in Knapely tonight? | Bloody local paper! What bigger than this has happened in Knapely tonight? |
718 | 01:02:15,424 | 01:02:19,671 | Oh, don't tell me. Someone's grown a U-shaped marrow. | Oh, don't tell me. Someone's grown a U-shaped marrow. |
719 | 01:02:22,765 | 01:02:25,968 | We're going to lose money, aren't we? | We're going to lose money, aren't we? |
720 | 01:02:26,936 | 01:02:31,847 | Not only are we not going to raise it, we're actually going to lose it. | Not only are we not going to raise it, we're actually going to lose it. |
721 | 01:02:31,941 | 01:02:36,935 | Well, I suppose we did promise it wouldn't be a big hoo-ha. | Well, I suppose we did promise it wouldn't be a big hoo-ha. |
722 | 01:02:37,029 | 01:02:39,318 | We tried. | We tried. |
723 | 01:02:39,406 | 01:02:42,609 | At least you made that speech. | At least you made that speech. |
724 | 01:02:42,701 | 01:02:45,821 | Yeah. Well, it's not enough, Annie. | Yeah. Well, it's not enough, Annie. |
725 | 01:02:49,082 | 01:02:51,953 | I'd rather not have tried than have to face Marie and say | I'd rather not have tried than have to face Marie and say |
726 | 01:02:52,044 | 01:02:58,711 | "Oh, no. Actually, yes, you were right." "It was another one of Chris's ideas." | "Oh, no. Actually, yes, you were right." "It was another one of Chris's ideas." |
727 | 01:02:59,718 | 01:03:02,469 | "And what's worse" - this is a good one - | "And what's worse" - this is a good one - |
728 | 01:03:02,554 | 01:03:06,801 | "to add insult to injury, I took me clothes off" "and no one was interested." | "to add insult to injury, I took me clothes off" "and no one was interested." |
729 | 01:03:06,892 | 01:03:09,679 | - You after the WI thing? - Yes. | - You after the WI thing? - Yes. |
730 | 01:03:09,769 | 01:03:12,521 | Had to spill over. They're in t'ballroom. | Had to spill over. They're in t'ballroom. |
731 | 01:03:20,780 | 01:03:24,612 | CELIA: ...giving the game away to say we did have the odd glass of wine. | CELIA: ...giving the game away to say we did have the odd glass of wine. |
732 | 01:03:24,701 | 01:03:27,108 | Oh, here they are! | Oh, here they are! |
733 | 01:03:29,163 | 01:03:32,782 | ["SLOOP JOHN B" INSTRUMENTAL VERSION] | ["SLOOP JOHN B" INSTRUMENTAL VERSION] |
734 | 01:04:43,403 | 01:04:45,976 | - Chris! - Chris, can you...? | - Chris! - Chris, can you...? |
735 | 01:04:46,739 | 01:04:48,282 | CHRIS: Ooh! Ooh! | CHRIS: Ooh! Ooh! |
736 | 01:04:53,788 | 01:04:56,908 | You're nude in The Telegraph, dear. | You're nude in The Telegraph, dear. |
737 | 01:04:59,627 | 01:05:02,332 | Can you pass the bacon? | Can you pass the bacon? |
738 | 01:05:24,485 | 01:05:27,190 | - Open up, Maya, love, will ya? - I have, Mum. | - Open up, Maya, love, will ya? - I have, Mum. |
739 | 01:05:27,279 | 01:05:29,355 | We're full. | We're full. |
740 | 01:05:37,039 | 01:05:38,866 | [LAUGHS] | [LAUGHS] |
741 | 01:05:38,957 | 01:05:44,248 | One minute the dressing gown was on, and the next it was just me and the hat. | One minute the dressing gown was on, and the next it was just me and the hat. |
742 | 01:05:44,338 | 01:05:46,710 | I'm here in the Yorkshire village of Knapely, | I'm here in the Yorkshire village of Knapely, |
743 | 01:05:46,798 | 01:05:49,918 | where the Women's Institute have not only been raising money, | where the Women's Institute have not only been raising money, |
744 | 01:05:50,010 | 01:05:53,177 | but raising eyebrows by stripping for a charity calendar. | but raising eyebrows by stripping for a charity calendar. |
745 | 01:05:53,263 | 01:05:55,754 | I'm thinking of taking it up professionally. | I'm thinking of taking it up professionally. |
746 | 01:05:55,849 | 01:05:57,509 | What's your family think? | What's your family think? |
747 | 01:05:57,601 | 01:06:02,642 | I was worried my daughter would be embarrassed, but she talked me into it. | I was worried my daughter would be embarrassed, but she talked me into it. |
748 | 01:06:02,731 | 01:06:05,435 | Any magazine offers? | Any magazine offers? |
749 | 01:06:05,525 | 01:06:07,601 | It's his village, is Knapely. | It's his village, is Knapely. |
750 | 01:06:07,694 | 01:06:10,185 | House he grew up in was in Embsay Lane. | House he grew up in was in Embsay Lane. |
751 | 01:06:10,280 | 01:06:15,155 | And that church up there is where we got married. Hiya, Jessie! | And that church up there is where we got married. Hiya, Jessie! |
752 | 01:06:15,243 | 01:06:18,493 | Sorry. Sorry. Miss September. | Sorry. Sorry. Miss September. |
753 | 01:06:18,580 | 01:06:21,865 | It's done me the world of good. | It's done me the world of good. |
754 | 01:06:24,585 | 01:06:28,168 | - So, Chris, what gave you the idea? - [DOOR BELL] | - So, Chris, what gave you the idea? - [DOOR BELL] |
755 | 01:06:28,256 | 01:06:30,083 | Excuse me. | Excuse me. |
756 | 01:06:32,218 | 01:06:37,212 | Hello, dear. I brought my journalists to meet your journalists. | Hello, dear. I brought my journalists to meet your journalists. |
757 | 01:06:38,057 | 01:06:40,299 | Hello. | Hello. |
758 | 01:06:40,393 | 01:06:44,556 | ...to... to... to develop ideas and to have them... | ...to... to... to develop ideas and to have them... |
759 | 01:06:44,647 | 01:06:50,187 | You know, after all, the WI is about education and empowerment of women. | You know, after all, the WI is about education and empowerment of women. |
760 | 01:06:50,277 | 01:06:52,317 | It's not just jam and "Jerusalem". | It's not just jam and "Jerusalem". |
761 | 01:06:52,404 | 01:06:55,239 | The WI nude calendar? | The WI nude calendar? |
762 | 01:06:55,324 | 01:06:57,613 | No, love, sorry. | No, love, sorry. |
763 | 01:06:57,701 | 01:07:01,035 | But I definitely sent you a batch of 50. | But I definitely sent you a batch of 50. |
764 | 01:07:01,121 | 01:07:04,455 | Look. Look, Minstergate Bookshop, York. 50. | Look. Look, Minstergate Bookshop, York. 50. |
765 | 01:07:04,541 | 01:07:07,910 | And I got 'em, love, and I put 'em out at nine o'clock, | And I got 'em, love, and I put 'em out at nine o'clock, |
766 | 01:07:08,003 | 01:07:11,004 | and at ten past nine we'd sold out. | and at ten past nine we'd sold out. |
767 | 01:07:14,968 | 01:07:17,673 | Thanks very much. Thank you! | Thanks very much. Thank you! |
768 | 01:07:19,306 | 01:07:21,879 | Annie! | Annie! |
769 | 01:07:22,100 | 01:07:23,892 | Annie! | Annie! |
770 | 01:07:24,936 | 01:07:30,606 | We've got to order more calendars! We're down to the last 25. | We've got to order more calendars! We're down to the last 25. |
771 | 01:07:32,527 | 01:07:35,861 | - What is it? - They were waiting for me. | - What is it? - They were waiting for me. |
772 | 01:07:35,947 | 01:07:38,652 | - Who? - When I got back. | - Who? - When I got back. |
773 | 01:07:47,125 | 01:07:49,746 | Oh, my God! | Oh, my God! |
774 | 01:07:52,005 | 01:07:54,377 | Read this, Chris. | Read this, Chris. |
775 | 01:08:00,847 | 01:08:04,381 | It's happened to them, just like it's happened to me. | It's happened to them, just like it's happened to me. |
776 | 01:08:05,351 | 01:08:07,427 | I'm going to help them. | I'm going to help them. |
777 | 01:08:10,731 | 01:08:16,236 | And your photo made me smile for the first time in 15 months. | And your photo made me smile for the first time in 15 months. |
778 | 01:08:16,320 | 01:08:20,270 | Now I smile whenever I see the calendar. | Now I smile whenever I see the calendar. |
779 | 01:08:20,366 | 01:08:23,984 | Thank you, girls, for your bravery and beauty. | Thank you, girls, for your bravery and beauty. |
780 | 01:08:24,078 | 01:08:26,236 | Best wishes, Vera Mason. | Best wishes, Vera Mason. |
781 | 01:08:26,330 | 01:08:29,284 | It reminded me so of Eileen. | It reminded me so of Eileen. |
782 | 01:08:29,375 | 01:08:32,874 | You seemed to have the same spirit she had. | You seemed to have the same spirit she had. |
783 | 01:08:32,961 | 01:08:36,876 | I know she would have howled with laughter at your photographs. | I know she would have howled with laughter at your photographs. |
784 | 01:08:36,965 | 01:08:40,381 | Thank you again. Looking forward to the next. | Thank you again. Looking forward to the next. |
785 | 01:08:43,972 | 01:08:49,512 | I'm currently in the high security wing of Her Majesty's Prison Barlinnie in Scotland, | I'm currently in the high security wing of Her Majesty's Prison Barlinnie in Scotland, |
786 | 01:08:49,603 | 01:08:54,478 | and was mightily impressed by the sheer size of your... | and was mightily impressed by the sheer size of your... |
787 | 01:08:58,111 | 01:09:00,187 | It's on! Look! It's on! | It's on! Look! It's on! |
788 | 01:09:02,532 | 01:09:05,201 | ...has been speaking to the instigator | ...has been speaking to the instigator |
789 | 01:09:05,285 | 01:09:09,579 | of the world's first nude WI calendar, Chris Harper. | of the world's first nude WI calendar, Chris Harper. |
790 | 01:09:09,664 | 01:09:12,416 | REPORTER: So, Chris, tell us how it all came about, | REPORTER: So, Chris, tell us how it all came about, |
791 | 01:09:12,500 | 01:09:16,580 | cos you wouldn't normally associate the Women's Institute with nudity. | cos you wouldn't normally associate the Women's Institute with nudity. |
792 | 01:09:16,671 | 01:09:22,341 | No, the usual image of the WI calendar is of plums and jam and country views. | No, the usual image of the WI calendar is of plums and jam and country views. |
793 | 01:09:22,427 | 01:09:26,507 | We thought if glamour photographers can do it on a beach in Bangkok, | We thought if glamour photographers can do it on a beach in Bangkok, |
794 | 01:09:26,597 | 01:09:30,677 | we can do it in a church hall near Skipton. | we can do it in a church hall near Skipton. |
795 | 01:09:35,731 | 01:09:37,439 | Fantastic. | Fantastic. |
796 | 01:09:41,445 | 01:09:43,936 | I was trying to get in there. | I was trying to get in there. |
797 | 01:09:45,491 | 01:09:47,816 | Middle age didn't put them off stripping off, | Middle age didn't put them off stripping off, |
798 | 01:09:47,910 | 01:09:51,361 | and now these women are hogging the headlines across the north. | and now these women are hogging the headlines across the north. |
799 | 01:09:51,455 | 01:09:56,496 | Chris Harper's behind it. Rather than fall back on the usual twee landscape scenes, | Chris Harper's behind it. Rather than fall back on the usual twee landscape scenes, |
800 | 01:09:56,585 | 01:10:00,962 | she talked her friends into posing nude for the local Women's Institute calendar. | she talked her friends into posing nude for the local Women's Institute calendar. |
801 | 01:10:01,048 | 01:10:04,962 | Not quite the jam and "Jerusalem" the ladies are usually known for. | Not quite the jam and "Jerusalem" the ladies are usually known for. |
802 | 01:10:05,052 | 01:10:09,263 | Chris says their husbands will never look at their wives in the same way again. | Chris says their husbands will never look at their wives in the same way again. |
803 | 01:10:09,348 | 01:10:15,552 | Neither will the other members of this quiet little Dales community. | Neither will the other members of this quiet little Dales community. |
804 | 01:11:06,654 | 01:11:09,026 | - Where you going? - It's Thursday. | - Where you going? - It's Thursday. |
805 | 01:11:09,115 | 01:11:11,819 | But you just got back from the conference. | But you just got back from the conference. |
806 | 01:11:11,909 | 01:11:16,535 | - Eddie, I've got a surprise for you. - I've had it. | - Eddie, I've got a surprise for you. - I've had it. |
807 | 01:11:16,622 | 01:11:19,955 | I got it when someone turned round in t'petrol queue and said | I got it when someone turned round in t'petrol queue and said |
808 | 01:11:20,042 | 01:11:23,375 | Isn’t this tart with her tits out your wife? | Isn’t this tart with her tits out your wife? |
809 | 01:11:30,302 | 01:11:32,378 | Eddie. | Eddie. |
810 | 01:11:33,013 | 01:11:36,548 | Eddie, I didn't do it just to... I just... | Eddie, I didn't do it just to... I just... |
811 | 01:11:36,642 | 01:11:38,718 | Eddie! | Eddie! |
812 | 01:11:45,525 | 01:11:47,981 | - Burston wedding today. - Morning, Jem. | - Burston wedding today. - Morning, Jem. |
813 | 01:11:48,069 | 01:11:51,070 | - I'm Gaz. - And we've got another order. | - I'm Gaz. - And we've got another order. |
814 | 01:11:51,156 | 01:11:55,450 | It's a massive order, Chris. Guy's comin' round at 4.30. | It's a massive order, Chris. Guy's comin' round at 4.30. |
815 | 01:11:55,535 | 01:11:57,777 | Got a meeting. | Got a meeting. |
816 | 01:11:57,871 | 01:12:00,243 | - When are you back? - Later. Bye! | - When are you back? - Later. Bye! |
817 | 01:12:00,332 | 01:12:02,407 | When later? | When later? |
818 | 01:12:03,501 | 01:12:05,209 | Anyone seen Jem? | Anyone seen Jem? |
819 | 01:12:09,883 | 01:12:13,168 | Normally more than one of you, is there? | Normally more than one of you, is there? |
820 | 01:12:13,261 | 01:12:15,337 | Aye. Sorry. | Aye. Sorry. |
821 | 01:12:16,431 | 01:12:20,974 | But my wife, she's a bit busy at the moment. | But my wife, she's a bit busy at the moment. |
822 | 01:12:21,060 | 01:12:23,136 | - Kids? - No. | - Kids? - No. |
823 | 01:12:24,480 | 01:12:29,771 | It's some WI calendar thing she's organised. She's on a chat show. | It's some WI calendar thing she's organised. She's on a chat show. |
824 | 01:12:29,860 | 01:12:32,980 | Not the calendar? The nude one? | Not the calendar? The nude one? |
825 | 01:12:33,072 | 01:12:34,732 | Aye. | Aye. |
826 | 01:12:34,824 | 01:12:39,320 | We just bought one. My wife came home. Seriously, it's fantastic. | We just bought one. My wife came home. Seriously, it's fantastic. |
827 | 01:12:39,412 | 01:12:41,653 | I'll tell her. | I'll tell her. |
828 | 01:12:41,747 | 01:12:45,959 | So, I've bought flowers off Mr... | So, I've bought flowers off Mr... |
829 | 01:12:46,043 | 01:12:48,748 | Come on, then, which one is she? | Come on, then, which one is she? |
830 | 01:12:49,755 | 01:12:51,831 | January. | January. |
831 | 01:12:51,924 | 01:12:56,171 | Suppose you're getting sick of all this, are you? | Suppose you're getting sick of all this, are you? |
832 | 01:12:59,765 | 01:13:02,338 | GAZ: Oi, give us some of that. | GAZ: Oi, give us some of that. |
833 | 01:13:07,689 | 01:13:08,720 | Ugh. | Ugh. |
834 | 01:13:08,815 | 01:13:12,433 | I thought I'd find you here. You all right? | I thought I'd find you here. You all right? |
835 | 01:13:14,488 | 01:13:16,776 | You got any money? | You got any money? |
836 | 01:13:16,865 | 01:13:21,242 | What is funny, between you and me, some of the blokes... | What is funny, between you and me, some of the blokes... |
837 | 01:13:21,328 | 01:13:26,073 | Frank, his wife would hardly undress in front of him before. | Frank, his wife would hardly undress in front of him before. |
838 | 01:13:26,166 | 01:13:30,413 | And now, apparently, you know... | And now, apparently, you know... |
839 | 01:13:35,133 | 01:13:42,263 | I was saying, it's not had that effect in our bedroom, I can tell ya. Hardly see her. | I was saying, it's not had that effect in our bedroom, I can tell ya. Hardly see her. |
840 | 01:13:42,890 | 01:13:46,342 | Sorry, I can't resist this. Mr. January. | Sorry, I can't resist this. Mr. January. |
841 | 01:13:46,436 | 01:13:48,309 | You don't mind, do you? | You don't mind, do you? |
842 | 01:13:48,396 | 01:13:52,524 | Aye. As long as I don't have to take me clothes off. | Aye. As long as I don't have to take me clothes off. |
843 | 01:13:55,903 | 01:14:01,490 | - ♪ I will not cease from mental fight ♪ - [PHONE RINGS] | - ♪ I will not cease from mental fight ♪ - [PHONE RINGS] |
844 | 01:14:01,575 | 01:14:07,411 | ♪ Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand ♪ | ♪ Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand ♪ |
845 | 01:14:07,498 | 01:14:13,583 | ♪ Till we have built Jerusalem ♪ | ♪ Till we have built Jerusalem ♪ |
846 | 01:14:13,671 | 01:14:16,541 | CHRIS: I'll tell ya. It's unbelievable. | CHRIS: I'll tell ya. It's unbelievable. |
847 | 01:14:16,632 | 01:14:21,543 | Well, for the last two hours, I have been exchanging phone calls... | Well, for the last two hours, I have been exchanging phone calls... |
848 | 01:14:22,930 | 01:14:24,424 | with Hollywood. | with Hollywood. |
849 | 01:14:24,515 | 01:14:26,175 | What, the real one? | What, the real one? |
850 | 01:14:26,266 | 01:14:29,718 | No, Celia. The chocolate one. Yes, the real one. | No, Celia. The chocolate one. Yes, the real one. |
851 | 01:14:29,811 | 01:14:31,804 | From who? | From who? |
852 | 01:14:31,897 | 01:14:36,226 | From the studio of a show with a man whose name I've forgotten. | From the studio of a show with a man whose name I've forgotten. |
853 | 01:14:36,318 | 01:14:39,235 | They're not coming all the way from America? | They're not coming all the way from America? |
854 | 01:14:39,321 | 01:14:40,649 | No. | No. |
855 | 01:14:40,739 | 01:14:42,945 | They're going to do it on the phone? | They're going to do it on the phone? |
856 | 01:14:43,033 | 01:14:47,030 | No. They only do face-to-face interviews. | No. They only do face-to-face interviews. |
857 | 01:14:47,120 | 01:14:50,619 | If they won't come here and won't do it on the phone, how are they... | If they won't come here and won't do it on the phone, how are they... |
858 | 01:14:50,707 | 01:14:53,245 | Oh, my God. | Oh, my God. |
859 | 01:14:53,335 | 01:14:55,826 | We're going to Hollywood. | We're going to Hollywood. |
860 | 01:14:58,798 | 01:15:00,590 | You're joking. | You're joking. |
861 | 01:15:01,801 | 01:15:04,292 | Reynoldson, with a Y. | Reynoldson, with a Y. |
862 | 01:15:06,431 | 01:15:08,719 | Oh, he's there. | Oh, he's there. |
863 | 01:15:08,808 | 01:15:12,972 | Oh, please. Could you put me through to his room? | Oh, please. Could you put me through to his room? |
864 | 01:15:18,192 | 01:15:20,268 | Eddie? | Eddie? |
865 | 01:15:27,326 | 01:15:29,817 | [GIGGLING] | [GIGGLING] |
866 | 01:15:30,705 | 01:15:35,995 | [GRUFF ACCENT] "Your toilet was broken, but I've fixed it now." | [GRUFF ACCENT] "Your toilet was broken, but I've fixed it now." |
867 | 01:15:38,170 | 01:15:40,044 | All right, lads. | All right, lads. |
868 | 01:15:41,757 | 01:15:46,882 | - Can I help you, Officer? - You can put that joint out for a start. | - Can I help you, Officer? - You can put that joint out for a start. |
869 | 01:15:52,935 | 01:15:57,015 | - Hollywood? - It's not for fun. It's really important. | - Hollywood? - It's not for fun. It's really important. |
870 | 01:15:57,105 | 01:16:01,684 | I mean, if we get on the telly in America, it's fantastic publicity. | I mean, if we get on the telly in America, it's fantastic publicity. |
871 | 01:16:01,777 | 01:16:05,525 | I mean, just imagine, the whole of America. | I mean, just imagine, the whole of America. |
872 | 01:16:06,865 | 01:16:10,732 | What about our business, Chris? Or is that not important? | What about our business, Chris? Or is that not important? |
873 | 01:16:13,038 | 01:16:15,161 | [PHONE RINGS] | [PHONE RINGS] |
874 | 01:16:21,171 | 01:16:23,247 | Can you get that? | Can you get that? |
875 | 01:16:25,759 | 01:16:27,835 | I'm in a meeting. | I'm in a meeting. |
876 | 01:16:27,927 | 01:16:30,003 | Hello. Flower-Power. | Hello. Flower-Power. |
877 | 01:16:33,850 | 01:16:37,468 | It won't be anything serious. He'll be all right. | It won't be anything serious. He'll be all right. |
878 | 01:16:39,188 | 01:16:41,514 | - They're not charging him. - Oh, thank God. | - They're not charging him. - Oh, thank God. |
879 | 01:16:41,607 | 01:16:43,683 | Is it not illegal then? | Is it not illegal then? |
880 | 01:16:43,776 | 01:16:48,153 | Well, cannabis is, but they tend not to worry too much about oregano. | Well, cannabis is, but they tend not to worry too much about oregano. |
881 | 01:16:48,239 | 01:16:51,109 | Right, right. | Right, right. |
882 | 01:16:52,326 | 01:16:56,075 | Oh, Jem, you stupid... you stupid... | Oh, Jem, you stupid... you stupid... |
883 | 01:16:56,163 | 01:16:59,698 | - Thanks, Mum. - Jem... | - Thanks, Mum. - Jem... |
884 | 01:16:59,792 | 01:17:02,413 | I'll go. We've already had a little father-and-son. | I'll go. We've already had a little father-and-son. |
885 | 01:17:02,503 | 01:17:06,038 | Anyway, you've got to sign something before we can go. | Anyway, you've got to sign something before we can go. |
886 | 01:17:06,131 | 01:17:09,666 | - Jem! - Would you like to come this way? | - Jem! - Would you like to come this way? |
887 | 01:17:09,760 | 01:17:13,840 | Yes, all right. Oh, thanks. | Yes, all right. Oh, thanks. |
888 | 01:17:25,651 | 01:17:28,438 | - Thanks very much. - Good night. | - Thanks very much. - Good night. |
889 | 01:17:29,738 | 01:17:31,814 | Where is it? Where the hell is it? | Where is it? Where the hell is it? |
890 | 01:17:31,907 | 01:17:34,480 | Ah, passport. | Ah, passport. |
891 | 01:17:35,994 | 01:17:38,532 | I'm hoping they'll let me in with a few calendars. | I'm hoping they'll let me in with a few calendars. |
892 | 01:17:38,622 | 01:17:42,406 | After we've been on American telly, we might be able to shift a few. | After we've been on American telly, we might be able to shift a few. |
893 | 01:17:42,501 | 01:17:46,166 | No, wait a minute. The holidays are all different there, aren't they? | No, wait a minute. The holidays are all different there, aren't they? |
894 | 01:17:46,254 | 01:17:51,794 | Well, maybe we'll have to do a reprint. You know, the American version. | Well, maybe we'll have to do a reprint. You know, the American version. |
895 | 01:17:51,885 | 01:17:53,712 | So... | So... |
896 | 01:17:53,803 | 01:17:56,341 | Your son's been arrested. | Your son's been arrested. |
897 | 01:17:57,765 | 01:17:59,675 | Yes, I know. | Yes, I know. |
898 | 01:17:59,767 | 01:18:03,053 | And released, Annie, with 10g of oregano. | And released, Annie, with 10g of oregano. |
899 | 01:18:03,146 | 01:18:06,728 | The only thing that'd be dangerous in is a quiche. | The only thing that'd be dangerous in is a quiche. |
900 | 01:18:06,816 | 01:18:10,648 | But he thought it was drugs, Chris. | But he thought it was drugs, Chris. |
901 | 01:18:10,737 | 01:18:14,734 | Do you want to stay? Find out why? | Do you want to stay? Find out why? |
902 | 01:18:18,202 | 01:18:20,278 | Yes, I do, obviously, but... | Yes, I do, obviously, but... |
903 | 01:18:23,332 | 01:18:27,377 | The woman in the studio contacted me. I'm the one who... | The woman in the studio contacted me. I'm the one who... |
904 | 01:18:27,461 | 01:18:30,332 | Chris, Chris, we can cope. | Chris, Chris, we can cope. |
905 | 01:18:31,632 | 01:18:34,419 | We're big girls. | We're big girls. |
906 | 01:18:34,510 | 01:18:37,215 | Particularly Celia. | Particularly Celia. |
907 | 01:19:10,837 | 01:19:12,913 | Hello. | Hello. |
908 | 01:19:13,965 | 01:19:17,417 | I was wondering if you could quote me for some carpets. | I was wondering if you could quote me for some carpets. |
909 | 01:19:19,262 | 01:19:24,469 | You do sell carpets? You are the owner of a carpet warehouse? | You do sell carpets? You are the owner of a carpet warehouse? |
910 | 01:19:24,559 | 01:19:27,346 | - Sorry. I'm with someone. - I know. | - Sorry. I'm with someone. - I know. |
911 | 01:19:27,437 | 01:19:30,438 | My husband. | My husband. |
912 | 01:19:33,192 | 01:19:38,435 | I just came to Ilkley to see what I wasn't as good as. | I just came to Ilkley to see what I wasn't as good as. |
913 | 01:19:39,699 | 01:19:42,154 | OK. Well, you've done that now. | OK. Well, you've done that now. |
914 | 01:19:44,453 | 01:19:48,996 | He told me you were the manager of a carpet warehouse. | He told me you were the manager of a carpet warehouse. |
915 | 01:19:49,083 | 01:19:51,574 | He told me you were dead. | He told me you were dead. |
916 | 01:19:54,088 | 01:19:57,042 | I think maybe I have been. | I think maybe I have been. |
917 | 01:19:57,133 | 01:19:59,421 | You are looking good, baby. | You are looking good, baby. |
918 | 01:19:59,510 | 01:20:04,670 | Sorry. Which one of us are you talking about, Eddie? | Sorry. Which one of us are you talking about, Eddie? |
919 | 01:20:04,765 | 01:20:09,890 | The one that makes a tart of herself by taking her clothes off, or me? | The one that makes a tart of herself by taking her clothes off, or me? |
920 | 01:20:09,979 | 01:20:12,185 | Sod off. Eddie? | Sod off. Eddie? |
921 | 01:20:12,272 | 01:20:16,140 | No, no. You stay and enjoy yourselves. | No, no. You stay and enjoy yourselves. |
922 | 01:20:16,235 | 01:20:18,726 | I'm off to Hollywood. | I'm off to Hollywood. |
923 | 01:20:21,657 | 01:20:23,733 | Eddie? | Eddie? |
924 | 01:20:27,245 | 01:20:30,579 | Sorry I'm late! Frank was so slow. | Sorry I'm late! Frank was so slow. |
925 | 01:20:30,665 | 01:20:33,832 | Bloody hell, Celia! How many frocks? | Bloody hell, Celia! How many frocks? |
926 | 01:20:33,919 | 01:20:39,873 | ...or you'll be flooded out. And if anything goes wrong, phone your Auntie Sophie. | ...or you'll be flooded out. And if anything goes wrong, phone your Auntie Sophie. |
927 | 01:20:40,508 | 01:20:43,213 | CORA: You going to say "Don't do anything I wouldn't do?" | CORA: You going to say "Don't do anything I wouldn't do?" |
928 | 01:20:43,303 | 01:20:45,675 | You already have, Mam. | You already have, Mam. |
929 | 01:20:45,764 | 01:20:48,089 | Right, everyone. Has everyone got a ticket? | Right, everyone. Has everyone got a ticket? |
930 | 01:20:48,183 | 01:20:49,807 | Yes. | Yes. |
931 | 01:20:49,893 | 01:20:51,850 | - A passport? - Yes. | - A passport? - Yes. |
932 | 01:20:51,936 | 01:20:54,143 | A lying snake for a husband? | A lying snake for a husband? |
933 | 01:20:55,481 | 01:20:57,770 | No? Only me there, then. | No? Only me there, then. |
934 | 01:20:58,443 | 01:21:00,519 | Let's go! | Let's go! |
935 | 01:21:01,279 | 01:21:02,856 | Come on. | Come on. |
936 | 01:21:04,365 | 01:21:08,315 | Hollywood, please, on your shiniest plane. | Hollywood, please, on your shiniest plane. |
937 | 01:21:12,540 | 01:21:16,490 | Sorry, ladies. You've come to the wrong desk. | Sorry, ladies. You've come to the wrong desk. |
938 | 01:21:19,755 | 01:21:21,629 | I have asked four people. | I have asked four people. |
939 | 01:21:21,716 | 01:21:25,665 | Each of them said we could check in for the flight to Los Angeles at any desk. | Each of them said we could check in for the flight to Los Angeles at any desk. |
940 | 01:21:25,761 | 01:21:28,762 | We have queued for 20 minutes in the only queue, | We have queued for 20 minutes in the only queue, |
941 | 01:21:28,848 | 01:21:32,014 | and we were directed to your desk by your representative. | and we were directed to your desk by your representative. |
942 | 01:21:32,101 | 01:21:35,102 | Where precisely have we gone wrong? | Where precisely have we gone wrong? |
943 | 01:21:35,187 | 01:21:38,556 | There was no need to queue, madam. You're all flying upper class. | There was no need to queue, madam. You're all flying upper class. |
944 | 01:21:38,649 | 01:21:43,026 | - You've been upgraded. - We're going first class! | - You've been upgraded. - We're going first class! |
945 | 01:21:45,572 | 01:21:48,988 | - I can check you in here if you like. - Thank you, dear. | - I can check you in here if you like. - Thank you, dear. |
946 | 01:21:49,076 | 01:21:52,195 | What a nice girl. I knew she was a nice girl. | What a nice girl. I knew she was a nice girl. |
947 | 01:21:55,916 | 01:22:00,957 | - Celia, press the white button on the right. - I am doing. | - Celia, press the white button on the right. - I am doing. |
948 | 01:22:01,046 | 01:22:04,913 | - On the right. The white one. - Bye-bye! | - On the right. The white one. - Bye-bye! |
949 | 01:22:05,008 | 01:22:08,922 | - Cheerio. I'm going right under you, Celia. - Fantastic. | - Cheerio. I'm going right under you, Celia. - Fantastic. |
950 | 01:22:12,641 | 01:22:15,345 | I got my foot stuck now. Ow! | I got my foot stuck now. Ow! |
951 | 01:23:31,218 | 01:23:33,294 | RUTH: Where are we, Cora? | RUTH: Where are we, Cora? |
952 | 01:23:33,386 | 01:23:36,221 | - Hey, this is Sunset Strip! - No! | - Hey, this is Sunset Strip! - No! |
953 | 01:23:44,522 | 01:23:47,559 | - Cheerio, gals. I'll see you later. - What are you doing? | - Cheerio, gals. I'll see you later. - What are you doing? |
954 | 01:23:47,650 | 01:23:50,272 | - I'm going up. - Be careful. | - I'm going up. - Be careful. |
955 | 01:23:50,361 | 01:23:52,437 | It's lovely. Come up. | It's lovely. Come up. |
956 | 01:23:57,160 | 01:23:59,698 | Hollywood! We're here! | Hollywood! We're here! |
957 | 01:23:59,787 | 01:24:01,946 | Get down! Stop messing about. | Get down! Stop messing about. |
958 | 01:24:17,722 | 01:24:21,470 | - Good afternoon, ladies. - Thank you, Ashley, I'll handle this. | - Good afternoon, ladies. - Thank you, Ashley, I'll handle this. |
959 | 01:24:21,559 | 01:24:23,966 | Good afternoon. Welcome to Los Angeles. | Good afternoon. Welcome to Los Angeles. |
960 | 01:24:24,061 | 01:24:27,679 | - It's our first time here. - Is that right? | - It's our first time here. - Is that right? |
961 | 01:24:27,773 | 01:24:31,308 | - Clarke. The name's Clarke. - Mrs. Clarke. | - Clarke. The name's Clarke. - Mrs. Clarke. |
962 | 01:24:31,402 | 01:24:34,106 | Or should I call you Miss February? | Or should I call you Miss February? |
963 | 01:24:35,280 | 01:24:39,112 | I saw your picture in the paper this morning. | I saw your picture in the paper this morning. |
964 | 01:24:41,954 | 01:24:46,616 | Thank you, ma'am. Now, I'll just talk you through the facilities, OK? | Thank you, ma'am. Now, I'll just talk you through the facilities, OK? |
965 | 01:24:46,708 | 01:24:47,989 | Right. | Right. |
966 | 01:24:48,085 | 01:24:50,706 | Now, there are two televisions, | Now, there are two televisions, |
967 | 01:24:50,796 | 01:24:53,832 | one on each end, both of which have cable TV, | one on each end, both of which have cable TV, |
968 | 01:24:53,924 | 01:24:56,130 | Internet access and movies on demand. | Internet access and movies on demand. |
969 | 01:24:56,218 | 01:24:58,756 | Now, there's also a full bar here, | Now, there's also a full bar here, |
970 | 01:24:58,845 | 01:25:03,637 | but if you need anything special, don't hesitate to call downstairs and we'll... | but if you need anything special, don't hesitate to call downstairs and we'll... |
971 | 01:25:03,725 | 01:25:06,809 | - Is everything OK, ma'am? - Yeah, no, it's fine. | - Is everything OK, ma'am? - Yeah, no, it's fine. |
972 | 01:25:06,895 | 01:25:10,727 | It's just I'm a bit tired. I'd like to go to my room now, really. | It's just I'm a bit tired. I'd like to go to my room now, really. |
973 | 01:25:10,815 | 01:25:15,442 | This is the hotel's master suite, ma'am. This is your room. | This is the hotel's master suite, ma'am. This is your room. |
974 | 01:25:19,699 | 01:25:22,866 | Come on, I'll show you downstairs. It's beautiful. | Come on, I'll show you downstairs. It's beautiful. |
975 | 01:25:22,952 | 01:25:27,281 | [THE WAY YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO BY THE TEMPTATIONS] | [THE WAY YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO BY THE TEMPTATIONS] |
976 | 01:25:34,547 | 01:25:38,379 | RUTH: Have you been in your bathroom? Me too! I'm in the bath! | RUTH: Have you been in your bathroom? Me too! I'm in the bath! |
977 | 01:25:38,467 | 01:25:43,213 | And the bubbles, they're Christian Dior. The bath bubbles! They're Christian Dior! | And the bubbles, they're Christian Dior. The bath bubbles! They're Christian Dior! |
978 | 01:25:43,306 | 01:25:48,098 | - Do you think they'll charge us for it? - I hope not! | - Do you think they'll charge us for it? - I hope not! |
979 | 01:26:18,965 | 01:26:23,010 | Nice! Good. And then into the limo. | Nice! Good. And then into the limo. |
980 | 01:26:23,095 | 01:26:26,843 | Into the limo. That's very good. No, no, it's great. | Into the limo. That's very good. No, no, it's great. |
981 | 01:26:26,932 | 01:26:31,640 | - Let me have a shot with you and the girls. - No, no. We gotta go. | - Let me have a shot with you and the girls. - No, no. We gotta go. |
982 | 01:26:31,728 | 01:26:37,102 | - Give him a kiss. Put your arm round him. - British women are taking me hostage. | - Give him a kiss. Put your arm round him. - British women are taking me hostage. |
983 | 01:26:40,695 | 01:26:43,400 | Right. | Right. |
984 | 01:26:43,490 | 01:26:47,238 | - What are we doing first, then, eh? - Chris! | - What are we doing first, then, eh? - Chris! |
985 | 01:26:48,369 | 01:26:51,156 | I can't believe it! | I can't believe it! |
986 | 01:26:51,247 | 01:26:53,323 | You look gorgeous! | You look gorgeous! |
987 | 01:27:19,942 | 01:27:25,363 | PHOTOGRAPHER: Looking lovely! That's fantastic! OK! | PHOTOGRAPHER: Looking lovely! That's fantastic! OK! |
988 | 01:27:25,906 | 01:27:30,449 | Great, ladies. OK, we got another section coming up. | Great, ladies. OK, we got another section coming up. |
989 | 01:27:30,536 | 01:27:33,702 | - Hey! Hold it, guys. Hold it. - Bye-bye! Thank you. | - Hey! Hold it, guys. Hold it. - Bye-bye! Thank you. |
990 | 01:27:33,789 | 01:27:38,866 | Ladies, please! We got a whole new section to do here! Come on. | Ladies, please! We got a whole new section to do here! Come on. |
991 | 01:27:38,961 | 01:27:41,037 | Come on, ladies! | Come on, ladies! |
992 | 01:27:55,769 | 01:28:02,650 | It's the cover page, and then four pages about how I don't give him sex any more. | It's the cover page, and then four pages about how I don't give him sex any more. |
993 | 01:28:02,734 | 01:28:07,811 | I just had to get away. I mean, the press will be all over it by now. | I just had to get away. I mean, the press will be all over it by now. |
994 | 01:28:07,906 | 01:28:12,235 | So Rod's having to deal with all that on his own, then, is he? | So Rod's having to deal with all that on his own, then, is he? |
995 | 01:28:12,327 | 01:28:15,031 | Well, him and Jem. | Well, him and Jem. |
996 | 01:28:16,247 | 01:28:22,120 | Slightly out of character, don't you think, for Rod, saying all that? | Slightly out of character, don't you think, for Rod, saying all that? |
997 | 01:28:22,211 | 01:28:25,212 | Did he get tricked into it? | Did he get tricked into it? |
998 | 01:28:26,132 | 01:28:28,539 | Did you stay to find out? | Did you stay to find out? |
999 | 01:28:29,594 | 01:28:33,009 | Or by that time was there a taxi waiting? | Or by that time was there a taxi waiting? |
1000 | 01:28:33,848 | 01:28:37,976 | - Are you all right? - Oh, yeah. I'm fine. | - Are you all right? - Oh, yeah. I'm fine. |
1001 | 01:28:38,060 | 01:28:41,014 | Annie, Chris. This is Frank, Scott and John. | Annie, Chris. This is Frank, Scott and John. |
1002 | 01:28:41,105 | 01:28:44,604 | - They're in a band called Anthrax. - Hello. | - They're in a band called Anthrax. - Hello. |
1003 | 01:28:44,692 | 01:28:48,440 | Heard so much about you. We're really impressed with what you're doing. | Heard so much about you. We're really impressed with what you're doing. |
1004 | 01:28:48,529 | 01:28:51,732 | - It's a great story. - We haven't heard anything about you. | - It's a great story. - We haven't heard anything about you. |
1005 | 01:28:51,824 | 01:28:53,982 | I have. | I have. |
1006 | 01:28:54,285 | 01:28:57,404 | CHRIS: So, have you had a think about that, then? | CHRIS: So, have you had a think about that, then? |
1007 | 01:28:57,621 | 01:29:01,868 | Yes. Well, yes. It would be in that ballpark, yes. | Yes. Well, yes. It would be in that ballpark, yes. |
1008 | 01:29:04,044 | 01:29:09,750 | Well, you know what? Let me talk with my associates, and I'll get back to you. Bye. | Well, you know what? Let me talk with my associates, and I'll get back to you. Bye. |
1009 | 01:29:09,841 | 01:29:11,964 | - Thank you. - ANNIE: Who was on the phone? | - Thank you. - ANNIE: Who was on the phone? |
1010 | 01:29:12,052 | 01:29:13,712 | - Very exciting. - ANNIE: Who? | - Very exciting. - ANNIE: Who? |
1011 | 01:29:13,804 | 01:29:19,046 | Very exciting. I'll tell you in make-up. We're dead close to a deal. Oh, look, that's him. | Very exciting. I'll tell you in make-up. We're dead close to a deal. Oh, look, that's him. |
1012 | 01:29:19,184 | 01:29:22,802 | By the way, is it Lee-no or Leh-no? We've gotta get it right. | By the way, is it Lee-no or Leh-no? We've gotta get it right. |
1013 | 01:29:22,896 | 01:29:24,723 | - Leh-no. - Are you sure? | - Leh-no. - Are you sure? |
1014 | 01:29:24,814 | 01:29:27,187 | - No, I think it's Lee-no. - Leh-no. | - No, I think it's Lee-no. - Leh-no. |
1015 | 01:29:27,275 | 01:29:32,186 | Not only will they sponsor the calendar in America to the tune of $30,000, | Not only will they sponsor the calendar in America to the tune of $30,000, |
1016 | 01:29:32,280 | 01:29:37,072 | but guess who'll be filming in the studio next to the one we shoot the advert in? | but guess who'll be filming in the studio next to the one we shoot the advert in? |
1017 | 01:29:37,160 | 01:29:38,702 | What? | What? |
1018 | 01:29:38,787 | 01:29:43,116 | Guess who's filming in the studio next to the one we're going to shoot the advert in? | Guess who's filming in the studio next to the one we're going to shoot the advert in? |
1019 | 01:29:43,208 | 01:29:44,536 | Advert? | Advert? |
1020 | 01:29:44,626 | 01:29:49,501 | Well, they sponsor us, we do their advert for washing powder. That's how it works. | Well, they sponsor us, we do their advert for washing powder. That's how it works. |
1021 | 01:29:49,589 | 01:29:51,877 | George Clooney. | George Clooney. |
1022 | 01:29:51,966 | 01:29:56,593 | Can I have it straight like Jennifer Aniston? You know, in Friends. | Can I have it straight like Jennifer Aniston? You know, in Friends. |
1023 | 01:29:56,679 | 01:30:01,507 | Why would I dye just part of my head? It doesn't make any sense. | Why would I dye just part of my head? It doesn't make any sense. |
1024 | 01:30:02,435 | 01:30:05,886 | I do not dye my hair. You may have heard about my first guests. | I do not dye my hair. You may have heard about my first guests. |
1025 | 01:30:05,980 | 01:30:09,930 | They went from living a quaint, peaceful life in a small British town | They went from living a quaint, peaceful life in a small British town |
1026 | 01:30:10,026 | 01:30:12,267 | to becoming nude calendar girls. | to becoming nude calendar girls. |
1027 | 01:30:12,361 | 01:30:15,647 | They're here tonight to tell us the story. This is the calendar. | They're here tonight to tell us the story. This is the calendar. |
1028 | 01:30:15,739 | 01:30:21,742 | Please welcome, from Knapely, England, the Calendar Girls. Let's bring them out. | Please welcome, from Knapely, England, the Calendar Girls. Let's bring them out. |
1029 | 01:30:24,957 | 01:30:29,251 | Hello, girls. How are you? How are you? Good to see you. | Hello, girls. How are you? How are you? Good to see you. |
1030 | 01:30:29,336 | 01:30:32,041 | Everybody's here. Have a seat. | Everybody's here. Have a seat. |
1031 | 01:30:34,216 | 01:30:36,968 | Oh, just sit anywhere. | Oh, just sit anywhere. |
1032 | 01:30:37,052 | 01:30:40,670 | I'm curious. Have you girls been strippers all your lives? | I'm curious. Have you girls been strippers all your lives? |
1033 | 01:30:40,764 | 01:30:44,762 | - We're not strippers. - JAY: Did you get drunk beforehand? | - We're not strippers. - JAY: Did you get drunk beforehand? |
1034 | 01:30:44,851 | 01:30:48,516 | It was no big deal, you know. We've all got the same bits. | It was no big deal, you know. We've all got the same bits. |
1035 | 01:30:48,605 | 01:30:54,061 | - The same bits? Yes. - CHRIS: They're just different sizes. | - The same bits? Yes. - CHRIS: They're just different sizes. |
1036 | 01:30:54,152 | 01:30:57,402 | Can I have some of them rice things? | Can I have some of them rice things? |
1037 | 01:30:57,489 | 01:30:59,528 | - It's called sushi. - I know. | - It's called sushi. - I know. |
1038 | 01:30:59,616 | 01:31:04,954 | - It's all suggestive. - JAY: I could make a few suggestions. | - It's all suggestive. - JAY: I could make a few suggestions. |
1039 | 01:31:05,038 | 01:31:08,537 | Well, ladies, it's fascinating. Good luck with your work. | Well, ladies, it's fascinating. Good luck with your work. |
1040 | 01:31:08,625 | 01:31:13,999 | And, please, if you would just try to encourage more women to get naked. | And, please, if you would just try to encourage more women to get naked. |
1041 | 01:31:14,088 | 01:31:17,291 | Thank you very much, the ladies of Knapely. | Thank you very much, the ladies of Knapely. |
1042 | 01:31:20,636 | 01:31:24,337 | We do have to work some kind of order out when we're asked questions, | We do have to work some kind of order out when we're asked questions, |
1043 | 01:31:24,432 | 01:31:28,430 | cos far too much of that you couldn't hear because everybody was talking. | cos far too much of that you couldn't hear because everybody was talking. |
1044 | 01:31:28,519 | 01:31:31,805 | CHRIS: Annie? Annie? | CHRIS: Annie? Annie? |
1045 | 01:31:34,608 | 01:31:38,227 | What are you doing? You missed it. | What are you doing? You missed it. |
1046 | 01:31:40,614 | 01:31:44,149 | We were just on television, the whole reason we came here. | We were just on television, the whole reason we came here. |
1047 | 01:31:44,243 | 01:31:48,075 | I thought that was to get away from the press. | I thought that was to get away from the press. |
1048 | 01:32:09,685 | 01:32:10,930 | CHRIS: Hello? | CHRIS: Hello? |
1049 | 01:32:12,854 | 01:32:14,930 | Hello? | Hello? |
1050 | 01:32:16,441 | 01:32:19,015 | Is there anyone there? | Is there anyone there? |
1051 | 01:32:22,989 | 01:32:25,860 | Ah, there they are! | Ah, there they are! |
1052 | 01:32:25,951 | 01:32:28,323 | Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! | Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! |
1053 | 01:32:28,411 | 01:32:31,911 | Welcome, ladies. How are we today? | Welcome, ladies. How are we today? |
1054 | 01:32:31,998 | 01:32:34,536 | - Fine. - Fantastic. Fabulendo. | - Fine. - Fantastic. Fabulendo. |
1055 | 01:32:34,626 | 01:32:40,130 | My name is Danny. I'm the director. And which one of you is Chris? | My name is Danny. I'm the director. And which one of you is Chris? |
1056 | 01:32:41,341 | 01:32:43,582 | You're Chris. | You're Chris. |
1057 | 01:32:43,676 | 01:32:47,674 | Hi. Exciting, hm? Yeah, yeah. | Hi. Exciting, hm? Yeah, yeah. |
1058 | 01:32:47,764 | 01:32:54,347 | OK, now, just to let you know, what I've done is cleared the studio of excess men. | OK, now, just to let you know, what I've done is cleared the studio of excess men. |
1059 | 01:32:54,437 | 01:32:56,061 | That's a shame. | That's a shame. |
1060 | 01:32:56,147 | 01:33:00,974 | I didn't want you walking around naked in front of a bunch of guys you didn't know. | I didn't want you walking around naked in front of a bunch of guys you didn't know. |
1061 | 01:33:01,068 | 01:33:02,942 | Sorry? | Sorry? |
1062 | 01:33:03,904 | 01:33:10,192 | We're doing the washing powder, right, hanging the washing on the line. | We're doing the washing powder, right, hanging the washing on the line. |
1063 | 01:33:10,286 | 01:33:12,362 | And naked behind. | And naked behind. |
1064 | 01:33:13,372 | 01:33:16,124 | I mean, there's not a problem with that, is there? | I mean, there's not a problem with that, is there? |
1065 | 01:33:16,208 | 01:33:18,995 | It is what you girls do, isn't it? | It is what you girls do, isn't it? |
1066 | 01:33:22,172 | 01:33:24,877 | - Yeah. - Yes. Great. | - Yeah. - Yes. Great. |
1067 | 01:33:44,194 | 01:33:46,981 | Not now. I'm working. Go, go, go. | Not now. I'm working. Go, go, go. |
1068 | 01:33:48,490 | 01:33:51,823 | Great! Beautiful! I love this! | Great! Beautiful! I love this! |
1069 | 01:33:54,412 | 01:33:58,457 | Ladies, the time is now. | Ladies, the time is now. |
1070 | 01:34:01,461 | 01:34:03,833 | Roxanne, Carol, hi. | Roxanne, Carol, hi. |
1071 | 01:34:03,922 | 01:34:07,373 | - CAROL: Nice to see you. - Nice to see you. What do you think? | - CAROL: Nice to see you. - Nice to see you. What do you think? |
1072 | 01:34:07,467 | 01:34:10,836 | - It's great. - DANNY: Thank you very much. | - It's great. - DANNY: Thank you very much. |
1073 | 01:34:10,928 | 01:34:14,428 | - Is the agency happy? - We are. | - Is the agency happy? - We are. |
1074 | 01:34:14,515 | 01:34:16,057 | DANNY: Thank you. | DANNY: Thank you. |
1075 | 01:34:18,186 | 01:34:20,095 | Annie! | Annie! |
1076 | 01:34:21,063 | 01:34:23,305 | We'll be just a moment. | We'll be just a moment. |
1077 | 01:34:23,399 | 01:34:25,475 | Annie! | Annie! |
1078 | 01:34:27,778 | 01:34:30,104 | Annie. | Annie. |
1079 | 01:34:30,197 | 01:34:37,114 | Annie, this is for the calendar. We just do this, we get the calendar out in America. | Annie, this is for the calendar. We just do this, we get the calendar out in America. |
1080 | 01:34:38,164 | 01:34:41,081 | - Look, are you gonna talk to me? - I need a shower. | - Look, are you gonna talk to me? - I need a shower. |
1081 | 01:34:41,166 | 01:34:43,836 | - What? - Was it down here? | - What? - Was it down here? |
1082 | 01:34:43,919 | 01:34:47,584 | I feel dirty. Your washing powder made me feel dirty. | I feel dirty. Your washing powder made me feel dirty. |
1083 | 01:34:47,673 | 01:34:50,460 | - My washing powder? - Down here. | - My washing powder? - Down here. |
1084 | 01:34:52,970 | 01:34:57,715 | Oh, I get it. I see. This is cos I've organised it, right? | Oh, I get it. I see. This is cos I've organised it, right? |
1085 | 01:34:57,808 | 01:35:03,431 | Because I've made a success of getting us a sponsor and taken this out of being... | Because I've made a success of getting us a sponsor and taken this out of being... |
1086 | 01:35:03,522 | 01:35:06,938 | We're not just raising money for a relatives' room any more. | We're not just raising money for a relatives' room any more. |
1087 | 01:35:07,025 | 01:35:10,476 | - We're taking on the bloody disease. - Red light's on, Chris! | - We're taking on the bloody disease. - Red light's on, Chris! |
1088 | 01:35:10,570 | 01:35:12,729 | You can't stand it, can you? | You can't stand it, can you? |
1089 | 01:35:12,823 | 01:35:16,238 | You cannot stand that I've made this calendar a success. | You cannot stand that I've made this calendar a success. |
1090 | 01:35:16,326 | 01:35:22,447 | No, see, Chris, what's happened is this calendar's made you a success. | No, see, Chris, what's happened is this calendar's made you a success. |
1091 | 01:35:25,377 | 01:35:27,784 | - What's that supposed to mean? - Where are we? | - What's that supposed to mean? - Where are we? |
1092 | 01:35:27,879 | 01:35:33,086 | - Annie, what is that supposed to mean? - Don't ask me what it means, Chris! | - Annie, what is that supposed to mean? - Don't ask me what it means, Chris! |
1093 | 01:35:33,176 | 01:35:38,301 | When you're standing in a cardboard street talking about meeting George Clooney. | When you're standing in a cardboard street talking about meeting George Clooney. |
1094 | 01:35:38,389 | 01:35:43,846 | What's with all these letters? All this bloody Florence Nightingale, this agony aunt? | What's with all these letters? All this bloody Florence Nightingale, this agony aunt? |
1095 | 01:35:43,936 | 01:35:48,100 | Doesn't that smack just a little bit of being a star? | Doesn't that smack just a little bit of being a star? |
1096 | 01:35:48,191 | 01:35:52,734 | Loads of people lose their partners to this disease. I bet they don't all get fan mail. | Loads of people lose their partners to this disease. I bet they don't all get fan mail. |
1097 | 01:35:52,820 | 01:35:58,063 | Doesn't that make you a little bit of a success, a successful bereaved woman? | Doesn't that make you a little bit of a success, a successful bereaved woman? |
1098 | 01:35:58,159 | 01:36:02,406 | A celebrity widow? St. Annie of Knapely? | A celebrity widow? St. Annie of Knapely? |
1099 | 01:36:03,205 | 01:36:05,992 | Eh? Eh? | Eh? Eh? |
1100 | 01:36:06,083 | 01:36:08,372 | I'm not a saint, | I'm not a saint, |
1101 | 01:36:08,460 | 01:36:11,414 | because I'd rob every penny from this calendar | because I'd rob every penny from this calendar |
1102 | 01:36:11,505 | 01:36:15,337 | if it would buy me just one more hour with him. | if it would buy me just one more hour with him. |
1103 | 01:36:16,760 | 01:36:21,007 | You've still got yours, and you're in Hollywood! | You've still got yours, and you're in Hollywood! |
1104 | 01:37:40,843 | 01:37:42,752 | Oh, well... | Oh, well... |
1105 | 01:37:42,845 | 01:37:44,718 | [JERUSALEM] | [JERUSALEM] |
1106 | 01:37:44,805 | 01:37:47,592 | Oh, Lord! It's Thursday. | Oh, Lord! It's Thursday. |
1107 | 01:37:47,683 | 01:37:51,099 | - Come on. - We've gotta get in there. | - Come on. - We've gotta get in there. |
1108 | 01:37:51,311 | 01:37:53,387 | Are you coming? | Are you coming? |
1109 | 01:38:10,622 | 01:38:12,698 | Hello, love. | Hello, love. |
1110 | 01:38:14,876 | 01:38:17,414 | ♪ ...builded here ♪ | ♪ ...builded here ♪ |
1111 | 01:38:17,504 | 01:38:23,874 | ♪ Among those dark Satanic mills? ♪ | ♪ Among those dark Satanic mills? ♪ |
1112 | 01:38:24,719 | 01:38:29,180 | ♪ Bring me my bow of burning gold... ♪ | ♪ Bring me my bow of burning gold... ♪ |
1113 | 01:38:29,265 | 01:38:33,014 | [SONG PETERS OUT AND WOMEN APPLAUD] | [SONG PETERS OUT AND WOMEN APPLAUD] |
1114 | 01:38:50,119 | 01:38:52,195 | How's Jem? | How's Jem? |
1115 | 01:38:53,080 | 01:38:58,075 | He made a quiche on Tuesday. We've been stoned ever since. | He made a quiche on Tuesday. We've been stoned ever since. |
1116 | 01:39:01,464 | 01:39:04,879 | Don't worry, Chris. He'll be all right. | Don't worry, Chris. He'll be all right. |
1117 | 01:39:08,971 | 01:39:12,387 | Look, Rod, I'm... I'm sorry. | Look, Rod, I'm... I'm sorry. |
1118 | 01:39:12,474 | 01:39:15,428 | - You don't have to apologise. - I do have to apologise. | - You don't have to apologise. - I do have to apologise. |
1119 | 01:39:15,519 | 01:39:20,097 | Everything you said in the paper was true, wasn't it? | Everything you said in the paper was true, wasn't it? |
1120 | 01:39:20,190 | 01:39:24,686 | - I didn't know he was a journalist. - This isn't the point. | - I didn't know he was a journalist. - This isn't the point. |
1121 | 01:39:24,778 | 01:39:28,112 | I mean, you still said it. Just why didn't you say it to me? | I mean, you still said it. Just why didn't you say it to me? |
1122 | 01:39:28,198 | 01:39:32,492 | Why didn't you just, I don't know, shout out What the bloody hell do you think... | Why didn't you just, I don't know, shout out What the bloody hell do you think... |
1123 | 01:39:32,577 | 01:39:35,068 | I know you'd have liked me to. | I know you'd have liked me to. |
1124 | 01:39:36,331 | 01:39:39,665 | It'd suit your Hollywood story if I'd been No bloody wife of mine! | It'd suit your Hollywood story if I'd been No bloody wife of mine! |
1125 | 01:39:39,751 | 01:39:44,627 | But I've not because... I actually think it's brilliant what you've done. | But I've not because... I actually think it's brilliant what you've done. |
1126 | 01:39:46,424 | 01:39:51,003 | That's why I've stood behind you, and I've told your son to get over it and be proud, | That's why I've stood behind you, and I've told your son to get over it and be proud, |
1127 | 01:39:51,096 | 01:39:54,132 | because I actually wanted you to have all this. | because I actually wanted you to have all this. |
1128 | 01:39:58,937 | 01:40:00,680 | Thank you. | Thank you. |
1129 | 01:40:02,982 | 01:40:09,566 | Do me a bloody favour, get back in that hall and sort out what's wrong with Annie. | Do me a bloody favour, get back in that hall and sort out what's wrong with Annie. |
1130 | 01:40:09,655 | 01:40:12,573 | I don't know what to say to her. | I don't know what to say to her. |
1131 | 01:40:12,658 | 01:40:18,282 | She's your oldest friend, Chris. You don't have to say anything. | She's your oldest friend, Chris. You don't have to say anything. |
1132 | 01:40:23,627 | 01:40:26,831 | Sorry. Ladies, ladies. Would you... | Sorry. Ladies, ladies. Would you... |
1133 | 01:40:26,922 | 01:40:28,879 | Ladies, please. | Ladies, please. |
1134 | 01:40:28,966 | 01:40:31,587 | Since we've stopped, as it happens, | Since we've stopped, as it happens, |
1135 | 01:40:31,677 | 01:40:38,011 | today we've finally been sent the first figures for the sales of our calendar. | today we've finally been sent the first figures for the sales of our calendar. |
1136 | 01:40:38,100 | 01:40:41,469 | Come on. Where is it? Right, thank you. | Come on. Where is it? Right, thank you. |
1137 | 01:40:41,562 | 01:40:47,849 | It says here in this letter from Leukaemia Research Fund | It says here in this letter from Leukaemia Research Fund |
1138 | 01:40:47,943 | 01:40:50,434 | that we've so far raised... | that we've so far raised... |
1139 | 01:40:51,405 | 01:40:56,316 | £286,000. | £286,000. |
1140 | 01:40:56,410 | 01:40:58,070 | [GASPING] | [GASPING] |
1141 | 01:40:58,161 | 01:41:03,203 | So a big round of applause to all of us for making it such a success. | So a big round of applause to all of us for making it such a success. |
1142 | 01:41:04,501 | 01:41:08,036 | We can get that sofa in the leather, then. | We can get that sofa in the leather, then. |
1143 | 01:41:19,641 | 01:41:25,893 | ♪ And did those feet in ancient time ♪ | ♪ And did those feet in ancient time ♪ |
1144 | 01:41:25,980 | 01:41:27,889 | ♪ Walk upon England's... ♪ | ♪ Walk upon England's... ♪ |
1145 | 01:41:27,982 | 01:41:32,561 | CHRIS: I've put our names down for next month's speakers. | CHRIS: I've put our names down for next month's speakers. |
1146 | 01:41:32,653 | 01:41:36,983 | CHRIS & ANNIE: What We Learned in Hollywood. | CHRIS & ANNIE: What We Learned in Hollywood. |
1147 | 01:41:37,075 | 01:41:42,947 | ANNIE: You're lying. Colin Petley's coming from Keighley with his tea towel collection. | ANNIE: You're lying. Colin Petley's coming from Keighley with his tea towel collection. |
1148 | 01:41:43,039 | 01:41:45,874 | CHRIS: Be still, my beating heart. | CHRIS: Be still, my beating heart. |
1149 | 01:41:45,958 | 01:41:48,034 | - Anyone fancy some chips? - ALL: Oh, yes! | - Anyone fancy some chips? - ALL: Oh, yes! |
1149 | 01:41:45,958 | 01:41:48,034 | - Anyone fancy some chips? - ALL: Oh, yes! | - Anyone fancy some chips? - ALL: Oh, yes! |