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 1 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,021 [CLATTERING] 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,021 [CLATTERING]
2 00:00:18,111 00:00:20,187 [WOMEN CHATTERING] [WOMEN CHATTERING]
3 00:00:30,832 00:00:32,908 [PIANO PLAYS "JERUSALEM"] [PIANO PLAYS "JERUSALEM"]
4 00:00:40,216 00:00:47,049 So, ladies, straight to the high point of our meeting, our guest speaker. So, ladies, straight to the high point of our meeting, our guest speaker.
5 00:00:47,139 00:00:51,089 I'm very pleased to welcome Alan Rathbone from York, I'm very pleased to welcome Alan Rathbone from York,
6 00:00:51,185 00:00:56,808 who's gonna be giving us a talk on the history of the Milk Marketing Board. who's gonna be giving us a talk on the history of the Milk Marketing Board.
7 00:00:56,899 00:00:58,975 Thank you, Alan. Thank you, Alan.
8 00:00:59,902 00:01:03,650 ALAN: Good evening, ladies of the Women's Institute. ALAN: Good evening, ladies of the Women's Institute.
9 00:01:06,992 00:01:11,738 Ladies, I'd like to welcome Iris Benton from Ilkley. Ladies, I'd like to welcome Iris Benton from Ilkley.
10 00:01:11,830 00:01:16,077 She's come to lead us through the fascinating world of rugs. She's come to lead us through the fascinating world of rugs.
11 00:01:18,295 00:01:20,786 I beg your pardon, Iris. I stand corrected. I beg your pardon, Iris. I stand corrected.
12 00:01:20,881 00:01:25,294 It's not just rugs. It's all forms of carpeting. It's not just rugs. It's all forms of carpeting.
13 00:01:25,385 00:01:28,552 Thank God. For a minute there I thought it was going to be dull. Thank God. For a minute there I thought it was going to be dull.
14 00:01:28,639 00:01:30,714 Thank you, Iris. Thank you, Iris.
15 00:01:37,147 00:01:41,441 Our round-the-world cruise started in September in Skipton, Our round-the-world cruise started in September in Skipton,
16 00:01:41,526 00:01:44,397 when we booked the tickets. when we booked the tickets.
17 00:01:44,487 00:01:49,944 That's them. They were a special offer and it was essential, my wife told me, That's them. They were a special offer and it was essential, my wife told me,
18 00:01:50,034 00:01:53,154 to book them before the 25th of the month. to book them before the 25th of the month.
19 00:01:58,042 00:01:59,786 WOMAN: Thank you. WOMAN: Thank you.
20 00:02:09,429 00:02:12,762 I don't know about you, ladies, but can I just say, Pauline, I don't know about you, ladies, but can I just say, Pauline,
21 00:02:12,849 00:02:17,012 I had no idea that broccoli could be so intriguing. I had no idea that broccoli could be so intriguing.
22 00:02:17,103 00:02:19,428 Thank you. Thank you.
23 00:02:19,522 00:02:24,100 Now then, ladies, can I have a volunteer to draw the raffle? Now then, ladies, can I have a volunteer to draw the raffle?
24 00:02:25,694 00:02:28,695 [JERUSALEM] [JERUSALEM]
25 00:02:28,781 00:02:30,192 - No. - Yes. - No. - Yes.
26 00:02:30,282 00:02:32,856 - No. - All right, I'll ask him. - No. - All right, I'll ask him.
27 00:02:32,952 00:02:35,324 - Volunteer your own husband. - Yeah, right. - Volunteer your own husband. - Yeah, right.
28 00:02:35,412 00:02:38,082 What's Rod going to talk to the WI about? What's Rod going to talk to the WI about?
29 00:02:38,165 00:02:41,534 Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what John'd say. Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what John'd say.
30 00:02:41,627 00:02:44,746 - What the hell am I gonna speak about? - John, I don't care. - What the hell am I gonna speak about? - John, I don't care.
31 00:02:44,838 00:02:48,753 Whatever it is is gonna be better than the bloody history of the cauliflower Whatever it is is gonna be better than the bloody history of the cauliflower
32 00:02:48,842 00:02:51,049 or whatever it is we've got next week. or whatever it is we've got next week.
33 00:02:51,136 00:02:53,093 - One seedling... - Annie, tell him. - One seedling... - Annie, tell him.
34 00:02:53,180 00:02:56,596 John, the whole point of the WI is... John, the whole point of the WI is...
35 00:02:56,683 00:03:00,099 - Are you listening to me? - Annie, what is the point of the WI? - Are you listening to me? - Annie, what is the point of the WI?
36 00:03:00,187 00:03:04,019 Enlightenment, fun and friendship. Enlightenment, fun and friendship.
37 00:03:04,107 00:03:08,354 Well, there, you see. It's right. It's them things. Well, there, you see. It's right. It's them things.
38 00:03:08,445 00:03:11,979 In my case, you did it cos your mother asked you, then she died... In my case, you did it cos your mother asked you, then she died...
39 00:03:12,073 00:03:15,193 - You love it. - One seed in each pot. - You love it. - One seed in each pot.
40 00:03:15,285 00:03:17,990 You're bloody useless, you are. You're bloody useless, you are.
41 00:03:19,330 00:03:21,868 Oh, look. Is it all right like that? Oh, look. Is it all right like that?
42 00:03:38,641 00:03:42,259 I've done the Harman wedding, but the carnation table fronts I've done the Harman wedding, but the carnation table fronts
43 00:03:42,353 00:03:45,437 need to be done for that conference in Guiseley. need to be done for that conference in Guiseley.
44 00:03:45,523 00:03:48,014 Good Lord. Nagging lilies. Good Lord. Nagging lilies.
45 00:03:50,236 00:03:52,312 And I couldn't find the order form. And I couldn't find the order form.
46 00:03:58,619 00:04:01,288 I thought, after your fantastic reorganisation, I thought, after your fantastic reorganisation,
47 00:04:01,372 00:04:05,204 all the order forms had to go on the bent nail. all the order forms had to go on the bent nail.
48 00:04:07,711 00:04:10,878 Are you going upstairs to do your homework? Are you going upstairs to do your homework?
49 00:04:10,964 00:04:13,502 I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered.
50 00:04:15,511 00:04:16,709 TV: No worries. TV: No worries.
51 00:04:55,883 00:04:57,793 Jem? Jem?
52 00:04:57,885 00:04:59,961 Mum. Mum.
53 00:05:05,935 00:05:08,011 [SHE GIGGLES] [SHE GIGGLES]
54 00:05:15,695 00:05:17,771 Oh, you... Shoo! Oh, you... Shoo!
55 00:05:17,863 00:05:20,781 You beggar! Go on! You beggar! Go on!
56 00:05:31,543 00:05:33,951 He's a little devil is that crow. He's a little devil is that crow.
57 00:05:34,046 00:05:37,331 He'll have all them seedlings if we don't do something. He'll have all them seedlings if we don't do something.
58 00:05:43,597 00:05:48,058 Something we need to have a little... a little chat about. Something we need to have a little... a little chat about.
59 00:05:49,102 00:05:51,178 - Annie... - Don't leave me. - Annie... - Don't leave me.
60 00:05:53,231 00:05:56,316 You great... Hey, come here. You great... Hey, come here.
61 00:05:57,152 00:05:59,026 Hey. Hey.
62 00:05:59,112 00:06:00,986 Hey, hey. Hey, hey.
63 00:06:01,072 00:06:05,319 I'm not leaving you. You soft girl. I'm not leaving you. You soft girl.
64 00:06:07,203 00:06:10,240 At least, I bloody hope not. At least, I bloody hope not.
65 00:06:20,466 00:06:22,542 So... So...
66 00:06:23,636 00:06:27,005 You know, what kind is it he's got? You know, what kind is it he's got?
67 00:06:27,098 00:06:30,716 He says he's gonna call it Saddam Hussein. He says he's gonna call it Saddam Hussein.
68 00:06:34,480 00:06:37,683 You should have told us. I'm your oldest friend. You should have told us. I'm your oldest friend.
69 00:06:37,775 00:06:40,646 You should have told me the moment you found out. You should have told me the moment you found out.
70 00:06:40,736 00:06:43,108 I did. I did.
71 00:06:46,033 00:06:48,868 - No big hoo-ha, though, OK? - OK. - No big hoo-ha, though, OK? - OK.
72 00:06:48,953 00:06:53,116 It'll just make it easier for him to get back to normal when he gets out, you know, It'll just make it easier for him to get back to normal when he gets out, you know,
73 00:06:53,207 00:06:57,287 and the tests are clear and... and everything. and the tests are clear and... and everything.
74 00:07:10,307 00:07:15,728 [ON PA] Entries for the home and craft competition to the WI tent immediately. [ON PA] Entries for the home and craft competition to the WI tent immediately.
75 00:07:15,812 00:07:20,059 - What are they? Hell's Angels? - Sort of. They're morris dancers. - What are they? Hell's Angels? - Sort of. They're morris dancers.
76 00:07:20,150 00:07:25,690 - We'll see you back at the tents. - All right. See you later. Yeah. - We'll see you back at the tents. - All right. See you later. Yeah.
77 00:07:31,620 00:07:33,696 - Garden in a plant pot. - Done that. - Garden in a plant pot. - Done that.
78 00:07:33,788 00:07:35,746 - Straightest courgette. - Done. - Straightest courgette. - Done.
79 00:07:35,832 00:07:39,699 Most creative thing done with an egg. Then we've done everything. Come on. Most creative thing done with an egg. Then we've done everything. Come on.
80 00:07:39,794 00:07:43,662 Look at 'em. High Gill WI. Look at 'em. High Gill WI.
81 00:07:43,756 00:07:46,674 Let's arrange our cakes round an old cartwheel. Let's arrange our cakes round an old cartwheel.
82 00:07:46,759 00:07:50,378 - Does look pretty, though. - Whose side are you on, Brutus? - Does look pretty, though. - Whose side are you on, Brutus?
83 00:07:50,471 00:07:54,551 - No, I didn't mean... - What's your event, by the way? - No, I didn't mean... - What's your event, by the way?
84 00:07:54,642 00:07:57,311 Tea tray on an international theme. Tea tray on an international theme.
85 00:07:57,395 00:08:00,978 I did Jamaica, but it could be anywhere in the Caribbean. I did Jamaica, but it could be anywhere in the Caribbean.
86 00:08:02,108 00:08:06,604 If more people did WI, there'd be half the need for hallucinogenic drugs. If more people did WI, there'd be half the need for hallucinogenic drugs.
87 00:08:06,696 00:08:10,065 Good, Ruth. International tea tray. Good, Ruth. International tea tray.
88 00:08:10,157 00:08:13,277 Victoria sponge... Annie's on victoria sponge. Victoria sponge... Annie's on victoria sponge.
89 00:08:13,369 00:08:15,445 - Summat for under a pound... - Kathy. - Summat for under a pound... - Kathy.
90 00:08:15,538 00:08:17,614 Kathy. That's it. Where's that? Kathy. That's it. Where's that?
91 00:08:21,377 00:08:22,408 What's that? What's that?
92 00:08:22,503 00:08:26,583 Annie won't have had time, running Yul Brynner in and out of Skipton General, Annie won't have had time, running Yul Brynner in and out of Skipton General,
93 00:08:26,674 00:08:28,962 so ta-da! so ta-da!
94 00:08:29,051 00:08:32,420 I'm sorry. It just took a bit long... Oh, my God, the cake. I'm sorry. It just took a bit long... Oh, my God, the cake.
95 00:08:32,513 00:08:35,383 - Told you. - It's all right. Chris has saved the day. - Told you. - It's all right. Chris has saved the day.
96 00:08:35,474 00:08:39,222 - You baked that? - I'm not a total dead loss as a woman. - You baked that? - I'm not a total dead loss as a woman.
97 00:08:39,311 00:08:43,772 I can't knit or make plum jam, but I can bake a bloody victoria sponge. I can't knit or make plum jam, but I can bake a bloody victoria sponge.
98 00:08:43,857 00:08:46,644 - Thank you. - Course, I didn't actually bake this. - Thank you. - Course, I didn't actually bake this.
99 00:08:46,735 00:08:49,226 - I got it from Marks & Spencer's. - What?! - I got it from Marks & Spencer's. - What?!
100 00:08:49,321 00:08:53,021 - The point is... - You can't enter a cake you've bought. - The point is... - You can't enter a cake you've bought.
101 00:08:53,116 00:08:56,153 Get off! It doesn't matter where it comes from, does it? Get off! It doesn't matter where it comes from, does it?
102 00:08:56,244 00:08:59,862 This is about putting up a united front against High Gill. This is about putting up a united front against High Gill.
103 00:08:59,956 00:09:02,281 This isn't bakery. This isn't bakery.
104 00:09:03,335 00:09:05,411 It's Zulu. It's Zulu.
105 00:09:06,338 00:09:08,414 Are you ready? Are you ready?
106 00:09:18,725 00:09:22,141 [ON PA] Will the parents of the young lad in the Spider-Man T-shirt [ON PA] Will the parents of the young lad in the Spider-Man T-shirt
107 00:09:22,228 00:09:25,395 please meet him under the gorilla. please meet him under the gorilla.
108 00:09:28,860 00:09:33,237 Now, excitement in the main tent, where the WI judging's begun. Now, excitement in the main tent, where the WI judging's begun.
109 00:09:33,948 00:09:36,653 - Aye aye. - Jury's back. - Aye aye. - Jury's back.
110 00:09:36,742 00:09:41,700 Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this year's May Wilkinson trophy Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this year's May Wilkinson trophy
111 00:09:41,789 00:09:45,703 for victoria sponge, maximum 12-inch diameter, for victoria sponge, maximum 12-inch diameter,
112 00:09:45,793 00:09:50,371 I'm pleased to say is entry number 213. I'm pleased to say is entry number 213.
113 00:09:51,966 00:09:55,002 - Nice knowing you, Chris. - [MURMURS] Help me! - Nice knowing you, Chris. - [MURMURS] Help me!
114 00:09:55,094 00:09:56,339 That's interesting. That's interesting.
115 00:09:56,428 00:10:02,882 Entered by Knapely WI and baked by Chris Harper. Entered by Knapely WI and baked by Chris Harper.
116 00:10:09,816 00:10:13,731 - Very, very well done. It's a beautiful cake. - Thanks. Thanks very much. - Very, very well done. It's a beautiful cake. - Thanks. Thanks very much.
117 00:10:13,820 00:10:18,482 And I'm proud to say this cake also wins And I'm proud to say this cake also wins
118 00:10:18,575 00:10:23,237 the judges' 2002 discretionary award. the judges' 2002 discretionary award.
119 00:10:30,295 00:10:32,501 It was really beautiful. It was really beautiful.
120 00:10:32,589 00:10:34,665 Thank you. Thank you.
121 00:10:36,843 00:10:39,963 Listen, I never normally ask this. Listen, I never normally ask this.
122 00:10:40,054 00:10:43,720 The lightness of that sponge. The lightness of that sponge.
123 00:10:43,808 00:10:48,351 Is there a trick, a technique, how you got that? Is there a trick, a technique, how you got that?
124 00:10:58,364 00:11:00,238 Uh, well... Uh, well...
125 00:11:00,324 00:11:04,820 Well, um... I basically stuck to me mother's advice about cake baking. Well, um... I basically stuck to me mother's advice about cake baking.
126 00:11:04,912 00:11:06,821 Yes. Yes.
127 00:11:06,914 00:11:11,457 Uh, which is... Line the bowl with butter. Uh, which is... Line the bowl with butter.
128 00:11:11,544 00:11:14,663 Always use a warm spoon. Always use a warm spoon.
129 00:11:14,755 00:11:19,547 And if it's a special event, get it at Marks & Spencer's. And if it's a special event, get it at Marks & Spencer's.
130 00:11:21,387 00:11:23,463 [ANNIE LAUGHS] [ANNIE LAUGHS]
131 00:11:24,682 00:11:27,766 [ALL START LAUGHING] [ALL START LAUGHING]
132 00:11:34,233 00:11:36,309 Throw the cake at 'em. Throw the cake at 'em.
133 00:11:38,528 00:11:42,858 Are you throwing my cake? That is disrespectful. Are you throwing my cake? That is disrespectful.
134 00:11:42,949 00:11:47,161 - This is very good. - Of course it's good. - This is very good. - Of course it's good.
135 00:11:47,245 00:11:50,994 They don't give the May Wilkinson out lightly, you know. They don't give the May Wilkinson out lightly, you know.
136 00:11:51,082 00:11:55,543 In fact, I'm going to be asked to do a master class at the WI. In fact, I'm going to be asked to do a master class at the WI.
137 00:11:55,629 00:11:59,673 - That'll be interesting. - Wasn't I supposed to do one? - That'll be interesting. - Wasn't I supposed to do one?
138 00:11:59,758 00:12:04,466 Something? Yeah. For the WI. Or don't you want that any more? Something? Yeah. For the WI. Or don't you want that any more?
139 00:12:04,554 00:12:10,260 I'll tell you what, if you want me to do it, you'd better get it in quick. I'll tell you what, if you want me to do it, you'd better get it in quick.
140 00:12:14,439 00:12:16,930 [WOMEN SING "JERUSALEM"] [WOMEN SING "JERUSALEM"]
141 00:12:22,113 00:12:23,856 Go, go, go, go, go. Go, go, go, go, go.
142 00:12:23,948 00:12:27,068 - Kiss. - They're on "arrows of desire". - Kiss. - They're on "arrows of desire".
143 00:12:27,160 00:12:30,196 - You can't go to Ilkley without a kiss. - I go every Thursday. - You can't go to Ilkley without a kiss. - I go every Thursday.
144 00:12:30,288 00:12:32,779 It's not an overseas posting. It's not an overseas posting.
145 00:12:32,873 00:12:34,949 Kiss. Kiss.
146 00:12:49,640 00:12:55,725 ♪ Till we have built Jerusalem ♪ ♪ Till we have built Jerusalem ♪
147 00:12:55,813 00:13:03,025 ♪ In England's green and pleasant land ♪ ♪ In England's green and pleasant land ♪
148 00:13:13,580 00:13:18,538 Firstly, how else could we start than by congratulating Chris Firstly, how else could we start than by congratulating Chris
149 00:13:18,627 00:13:25,709 on not only winning the May Wilkinson but also the judges' discretionary ribbon. on not only winning the May Wilkinson but also the judges' discretionary ribbon.
150 00:13:28,928 00:13:31,384 I'm so pleased. I'm so pleased.
151 00:13:35,226 00:13:39,390 Now, the next item on the agenda is the calendar. Now, the next item on the agenda is the calendar.
152 00:13:40,315 00:13:42,722 Last year we had views of local bridges, Last year we had views of local bridges,
153 00:13:42,817 00:13:48,024 so this year I thought we could go for the 12 most beautiful views of... so this year I thought we could go for the 12 most beautiful views of...
154 00:13:48,114 00:13:50,984 - George Clooney. - ...the churches of Wharfedale. - George Clooney. - ...the churches of Wharfedale.
155 00:13:51,075 00:13:54,574 11 fully clothed and a little lift the flap for December. 11 fully clothed and a little lift the flap for December.
156 00:13:54,662 00:13:55,777 [SNIGGERING] [SNIGGERING]
157 00:13:55,872 00:13:57,366 Chris? Chris?
158 00:13:59,333 00:14:02,916 - No, nothing. - She said George Clooney. - No, nothing. - She said George Clooney.
159 00:14:05,006 00:14:08,706 No. No, Marie. I'm fine, you know, with whatever. No. No, Marie. I'm fine, you know, with whatever.
160 00:14:09,260 00:14:12,130 Churches of Wharfedale it is, then. Churches of Wharfedale it is, then.
161 00:14:13,264 00:14:15,340 It should be bloody George Clooney. It should be bloody George Clooney.
162 00:14:15,432 00:14:20,853 Burnsall Church or George Clooney - I know which I'd rather wake up looking at. Burnsall Church or George Clooney - I know which I'd rather wake up looking at.
163 00:14:20,938 00:14:22,812 It is a Norman church, you know. It is a Norman church, you know.
164 00:14:22,898 00:14:25,650 I'm not disputing the loveliness of the church. I'm not disputing the loveliness of the church.
165 00:14:25,734 00:14:29,020 It's the firmness of the buttocks I'm worried about. It's the firmness of the buttocks I'm worried about.
166 00:14:29,112 00:14:30,986 Careful. You'll pull your drip out. Careful. You'll pull your drip out.
167 00:14:31,073 00:14:32,733 Anyway, let's face it, Anyway, let's face it,
168 00:14:32,824 00:14:36,774 hate to be a revolutionary, it might actually sell a few copies. hate to be a revolutionary, it might actually sell a few copies.
169 00:14:36,870 00:14:40,571 Yeah, the WI posing-pouch calendar. Yeah, the WI posing-pouch calendar.
170 00:14:40,665 00:14:43,750 - Flesh sells, I tell ya. - Yeah. - Flesh sells, I tell ya. - Yeah.
171 00:14:43,835 00:14:46,077 Right, decided. Right, decided.
172 00:14:46,171 00:14:48,413 So where do we get a photographer? So where do we get a photographer?
173 00:14:48,507 00:14:53,299 Art college. It's full of charlatans who prostitute their talent for money. Art college. It's full of charlatans who prostitute their talent for money.
174 00:14:53,386 00:14:56,506 - Is it? - Yeah. Lawrence was telling me. - Is it? - Yeah. Lawrence was telling me.
175 00:14:57,891 00:15:01,342 Hey, you wanna see this kid's photographs. Hey, you wanna see this kid's photographs.
176 00:15:01,436 00:15:03,393 Don't go on about them. Don't go on about them.
177 00:15:03,480 00:15:07,976 He's taking some of me sunflowers, to see how they're getting on. He's taking some of me sunflowers, to see how they're getting on.
178 00:15:08,067 00:15:13,062 It's not your photographer, it's your models. Professional models cost a bloody bomb. It's not your photographer, it's your models. Professional models cost a bloody bomb.
179 00:15:13,156 00:15:15,065 Hey... Hey...
180 00:15:15,158 00:15:17,649 I'll model for you for nowt. I'll model for you for nowt.
181 00:15:18,703 00:15:23,661 No, thanks. I've just seen your backside and, believe me, it's not like George's. No, thanks. I've just seen your backside and, believe me, it's not like George's.
182 00:15:39,431 00:15:41,507 There you go. There you go.
183 00:15:41,600 00:15:43,474 Ow! Ow!
184 00:15:43,561 00:15:48,768 This bloody settee. They're gonna need another relatives' room, This bloody settee. They're gonna need another relatives' room,
185 00:15:48,857 00:15:55,109 for the relatives of the relatives who got injured on the settee in the relatives' room. for the relatives of the relatives who got injured on the settee in the relatives' room.
186 00:15:57,616 00:16:00,617 So, did you talk to the specialist? So, did you talk to the specialist?
187 00:16:01,912 00:16:04,829 John seems chirpier to me today. What's the old... John seems chirpier to me today. What's the old...
188 00:16:04,915 00:16:09,790 - Pneumonia and septicaemia. - Oh, that's good. I've heard of those. - Pneumonia and septicaemia. - Oh, that's good. I've heard of those.
189 00:16:09,878 00:16:13,294 They can deal with those, can't they? They can deal with those, can't they?
190 00:16:13,381 00:16:17,165 It means his immune system's weakened. It means his immune system's weakened.
191 00:16:17,260 00:16:19,751 The chemo isn't working. The chemo isn't working.
192 00:16:21,598 00:16:25,133 Which means we're finally out of straws. Which means we're finally out of straws.
193 00:16:32,734 00:16:35,853 Don't you go buying any benches. Don't you go buying any benches.
194 00:16:35,945 00:16:38,816 Do what the hell I like, John Clarke. Do what the hell I like, John Clarke.
195 00:16:38,906 00:16:41,611 If you put a bench out here, If you put a bench out here,
196 00:16:42,452 00:16:47,790 "it'll have 'Leeds stuffed Arsenal' on it" before you get back to the car. "it'll have 'Leeds stuffed Arsenal' on it" before you get back to the car.
197 00:16:51,127 00:16:53,203 Come on. Come on.
198 00:17:00,094 00:17:02,881 I've written me speech. I've written me speech.
199 00:17:02,972 00:17:05,048 - WI. - Oh, right. - WI. - Oh, right.
200 00:17:07,184 00:17:10,138 I did it about... me job. I did it about... me job.
201 00:17:11,063 00:17:13,139 And all this. And all this.
202 00:17:14,400 00:17:16,476 You read it to me. You read it to me.
203 00:17:22,449 00:17:26,778 Flowers of Yorkshire are like the women of Yorkshire. Flowers of Yorkshire are like the women of Yorkshire.
204 00:17:26,870 00:17:34,166 Every stage of their growth is more beautiful than the last. Every stage of their growth is more beautiful than the last.
205 00:17:37,714 00:17:40,798 But the last phase... But the last phase...
206 00:17:40,884 00:17:43,589 is always the most glorious. is always the most glorious.
207 00:17:58,860 00:18:02,063 Then very quickly they all go to seed. Then very quickly they all go to seed.
208 00:18:08,328 00:18:10,997 Cheeky beggar. Cheeky beggar.
209 00:18:45,614 00:18:51,320 CHRIS: A while ago, I asked John Clarke to give us a talk here at Knapely WI. CHRIS: A while ago, I asked John Clarke to give us a talk here at Knapely WI.
210 00:18:52,746 00:18:58,998 Annie asked me to read it to you here tonight, and this is what he wrote. Annie asked me to read it to you here tonight, and this is what he wrote.
211 00:19:01,630 00:19:05,841 The flowers of Yorkshire are like the women of Yorkshire. The flowers of Yorkshire are like the women of Yorkshire.
212 00:19:05,926 00:19:08,796 Every stage of their growth has its own beauty, Every stage of their growth has its own beauty,
213 00:19:08,887 00:19:12,054 but the last phase is always the most glorious. but the last phase is always the most glorious.
214 00:19:13,683 00:19:16,174 Then very quickly they all go to seed. Then very quickly they all go to seed.
215 00:19:16,269 00:19:18,476 [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER]
216 00:19:18,563 00:19:21,979 Which makes it ironic my favourite flower Which makes it ironic my favourite flower
217 00:19:22,067 00:19:26,645 isn't even indigenous to the British Isles, let alone Yorkshire. isn't even indigenous to the British Isles, let alone Yorkshire.
218 00:19:26,738 00:19:33,784 I don't think there's anything on this planet that more trumpets life than the sunflower. I don't think there's anything on this planet that more trumpets life than the sunflower.
219 00:19:34,871 00:19:38,489 For me, that's because of the reason behind its name. For me, that's because of the reason behind its name.
220 00:19:38,583 00:19:44,917 Not because it looks like the sun but because it follows the sun. Not because it looks like the sun but because it follows the sun.
221 00:19:45,006 00:19:47,082 During the course of the day, During the course of the day,
222 00:19:47,175 00:19:51,920 the head tracks the journey of the sun across the sky. the head tracks the journey of the sun across the sky.
223 00:19:52,013 00:19:54,930 A satellite dish for sunshine. A satellite dish for sunshine.
224 00:19:56,142 00:20:02,725 Wherever light is, no matter how weak, these flowers will find it. Wherever light is, no matter how weak, these flowers will find it.
225 00:20:02,815 00:20:05,520 And that's such an admirable thing. And that's such an admirable thing.
226 00:20:06,360 00:20:08,851 And such a lesson in life. And such a lesson in life.
227 00:20:21,667 00:20:24,336 You ran into a gate? How'd you do that? You ran into a gate? How'd you do that?
228 00:20:24,419 00:20:25,997 [MUMBLES] [MUMBLES]
229 00:20:26,088 00:20:27,748 You what? You what?
230 00:20:27,839 00:20:31,374 He does a paper round. It pays for his elocution lessons. He does a paper round. It pays for his elocution lessons.
231 00:20:31,468 00:20:38,301 Yeah, well, he's bent these good-style. It'll be... 25 quid that, love. Yeah, well, he's bent these good-style. It'll be... 25 quid that, love.
232 00:20:39,476 00:20:41,552 I have to have it. I have to have it.
233 00:20:42,854 00:20:44,645 Mum? Mum?
234 00:20:49,611 00:20:52,980 Ted, would you mind if I borrowed this? Ted, would you mind if I borrowed this?
235 00:20:53,072 00:20:54,483 No. No.
236 00:20:56,868 00:21:00,616 CHRIS: Moving gently into the locust. CHRIS: Moving gently into the locust.
237 00:21:02,373 00:21:06,122 And then we have... And then we have...
238 00:21:07,295 00:21:09,371 the lion. the lion.
239 00:21:12,383 00:21:16,084 I have to admit I'm concerned about our great leader's grasp of t'ai chi. I have to admit I'm concerned about our great leader's grasp of t'ai chi.
240 00:21:16,178 00:21:19,263 And into the llama. And into the llama.
241 00:21:19,348 00:21:22,468 - Llama? - Are there llamas in China? - Llama? - Are there llamas in China?
242 00:21:22,560 00:21:24,636 OK? OK?
243 00:21:25,855 00:21:28,891 Are you all looking in the right direction? Are you all looking in the right direction?
244 00:21:28,983 00:21:31,652 - See you later, girls! - Bye, love! - See you later, girls! - Bye, love!
245 00:21:31,735 00:21:33,395 Bye. Bye.
246 00:21:34,238 00:21:36,195 How's Annie? How's Annie?
247 00:21:36,282 00:21:38,773 How can we help, do you think? How can we help, do you think?
248 00:21:41,954 00:21:44,824 Are you doing anything tomorrow afternoon? Are you doing anything tomorrow afternoon?
249 00:21:44,915 00:21:46,991 [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] [SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
250 00:21:55,384 00:21:57,460 [GIRLS LAUGH] [GIRLS LAUGH]
251 00:22:00,430 00:22:04,262 BOY: It is, I'm telling ya. Girls laughing's a good sign. BOY: It is, I'm telling ya. Girls laughing's a good sign.
252 00:22:05,769 00:22:07,845 It's a top sign, I tell ya. It's a top sign, I tell ya.
253 00:22:08,897 00:22:11,186 Bloody hell, if you're in with Debbie Nolan, Bloody hell, if you're in with Debbie Nolan,
254 00:22:11,274 00:22:16,351 not bein' unsound here, but she has got the most fantastic tits. not bein' unsound here, but she has got the most fantastic tits.
255 00:22:16,446 00:22:19,281 She has got fine mangoes. She has got fine mangoes.
256 00:22:20,325 00:22:25,865 Actually, not mangoes. I don't imagine they'd be hard like mangoes. Actually, not mangoes. I don't imagine they'd be hard like mangoes.
257 00:22:25,955 00:22:28,031 Maybe plums. Maybe plums.
258 00:22:29,000 00:22:33,163 Ripe plums. You know, big, ripe plums. Ripe plums. You know, big, ripe plums.
259 00:22:37,467 00:22:39,708 No, what am I saying? No, what am I saying?
260 00:22:39,802 00:22:42,637 No, not plums. Balloons! No, not plums. Balloons!
261 00:22:42,722 00:22:46,636 That's it. That's exactly what they're like. That's it. That's exactly what they're like.
262 00:22:46,726 00:22:50,558 A pair of balloons you find behind your settee three days after a party. A pair of balloons you find behind your settee three days after a party.
263 00:22:50,646 00:22:55,059 Gaz, will you stop talking about tits? Gaz, will you stop talking about tits?
264 00:22:55,985 00:22:59,519 GAZ: Why would I ever wanna do that? GAZ: Why would I ever wanna do that?
265 00:23:00,739 00:23:03,112 Well, I think it's a great idea. Well, I think it's a great idea.
266 00:23:03,200 00:23:07,114 - You weren't concentrating, were you? - I was. - You weren't concentrating, were you? - I was.
267 00:23:07,204 00:23:11,783 We're going to raise money for the hospital, to buy a sofa in John's name. We're going to raise money for the hospital, to buy a sofa in John's name.
268 00:23:11,875 00:23:14,793 By posing for a nude calendar. By posing for a nude calendar.
269 00:23:17,464 00:23:18,709 Oh, no. Oh, no.
270 00:23:18,799 00:23:23,259 Oh, sit down. I'm not asking you to straddle a Harley-Davidson. Oh, sit down. I'm not asking you to straddle a Harley-Davidson.
271 00:23:23,345 00:23:25,717 It's still a bit of a leap from Burnsall Church. It's still a bit of a leap from Burnsall Church.
272 00:23:25,806 00:23:31,808 Yes, but that's the whole point. You see, like, it's an alternative calendar. It's... Yes, but that's the whole point. You see, like, it's an alternative calendar. It's...
273 00:23:31,895 00:23:35,180 - It's what John suggested. - Did he? - It's what John suggested. - Did he?
274 00:23:35,273 00:23:39,318 The last stage of the flower is the most glorious. The last stage of the flower is the most glorious.
275 00:23:39,402 00:23:44,610 So what this calendar would be saying is "Yes, John, actually". We agree. So what this calendar would be saying is "Yes, John, actually". We agree.
276 00:23:44,699 00:23:50,702 With respect, I didn't hear him use the phrase "whip your bras off". With respect, I didn't hear him use the phrase "whip your bras off".
277 00:23:52,123 00:23:55,492 It's £999 in the leather, that sofa. It's £999 in the leather, that sofa.
278 00:23:55,585 00:23:59,713 Can I remind you how much last year's calendar raised? Can I remind you how much last year's calendar raised?
279 00:23:59,797 00:24:03,332 £75.60. £75.60.
280 00:24:04,802 00:24:08,467 - Are you havin' it? - We're havin' it, all right. - Are you havin' it? - We're havin' it, all right.
281 00:24:08,556 00:24:10,216 Come on. Come on.
282 00:24:10,308 00:24:12,431 Yeah, we'll get back to you, thank you. Yeah, we'll get back to you, thank you.
283 00:24:12,518 00:24:13,847 JEM: She's... JEM: She's...
284 00:24:15,313 00:24:18,183 I don't know. She's being weird. I don't know. She's being weird.
285 00:24:18,274 00:24:21,109 Normal weird, or weird weird? Normal weird, or weird weird?
286 00:24:21,193 00:24:24,858 - She found this. - You're kidding? Big Bazookas? - She found this. - You're kidding? Big Bazookas?
287 00:24:24,947 00:24:29,823 - I saw her looking at it. - God, I bet she went off her head. - I saw her looking at it. - God, I bet she went off her head.
288 00:24:29,910 00:24:33,955 My mum did when she found me Rubber Housewives. My mum did when she found me Rubber Housewives.
289 00:24:35,791 00:24:38,033 It's a difficult age. It's a difficult age.
290 00:24:38,127 00:24:42,788 Round about now, women go through a difficult age, Round about now, women go through a difficult age,
291 00:24:43,549 00:24:48,625 when they get all irrational and odd and difficult to predict. when they get all irrational and odd and difficult to predict.
292 00:24:48,720 00:24:52,255 - How do you know? - Me dad told me. - How do you know? - Me dad told me.
293 00:24:52,349 00:24:54,555 - Right. - No. - Right. - No.
294 00:24:54,643 00:24:57,679 I've got to go, anyway. Eddie's getting back from Ilkley. I've got to go, anyway. Eddie's getting back from Ilkley.
295 00:24:57,771 00:25:01,306 Nobody's going to see anything, I promise you. You take the picture. Nobody's going to see anything, I promise you. You take the picture.
296 00:25:01,399 00:25:03,688 I'm not quite sure how to... I'm not quite sure how to...
297 00:25:05,195 00:25:07,946 - Not yet. Wait. - You've just taken one of the table. - Not yet. Wait. - You've just taken one of the table.
298 00:25:08,031 00:25:10,901 Won't sell a lot of calendars, will it? It's that one. Won't sell a lot of calendars, will it? It's that one.
299 00:25:10,992 00:25:13,993 - But it's very sensitive. - Right. - But it's very sensitive. - Right.
300 00:25:15,497 00:25:17,703 Can anyone see my nipples? Can anyone see my nipples?
301 00:25:18,208 00:25:21,790 - You bloody would if it were your mum. - Look, what's she done? - You bloody would if it were your mum. - Look, what's she done?
302 00:25:21,878 00:25:25,461 Flicked through one jazz mag and looked at a mucky calendar. Flicked through one jazz mag and looked at a mucky calendar.
303 00:25:25,548 00:25:27,920 That doesn't make her a lesbian. That doesn't make her a lesbian.
304 00:25:30,845 00:25:32,921 Hi, Jem. Hi, Jem.
305 00:25:35,766 00:25:38,257 Your mother's... Just, uh... Your mother's... Just, uh...
306 00:25:40,813 00:25:44,977 Just go on upstairs with your friend, OK? Just go on upstairs with your friend, OK?
307 00:26:07,214 00:26:11,046 - How was Ilkley? - Hey, what are you doing up? - How was Ilkley? - Hey, what are you doing up?
308 00:26:18,016 00:26:21,432 - How'd it go? - Oh, you know. - How'd it go? - Oh, you know.
309 00:26:21,520 00:26:25,268 They're not a scintillating lot, carpet dealers. They're not a scintillating lot, carpet dealers.
310 00:26:25,357 00:26:29,307 They only get excited about bonded underlay. They only get excited about bonded underlay.
311 00:26:29,945 00:26:32,981 - Coming to bed? - Aye, in a bit. - Coming to bed? - Aye, in a bit.
312 00:26:33,073 00:26:35,314 Just having a wind-down. Just having a wind-down.
313 00:26:38,745 00:26:41,746 TV: I don't want announcements of redundancies... TV: I don't want announcements of redundancies...
314 00:26:41,831 00:26:43,907 [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER]
315 00:26:56,387 00:26:58,629 I've come for my photos. I've come for my photos.
316 00:26:58,723 00:27:01,593 Can't find my little receipt thingy. The name's Har... Can't find my little receipt thingy. The name's Har...
317 00:27:01,684 00:27:05,349 Here they are. It's £4.99, please. Here they are. It's £4.99, please.
318 00:27:05,438 00:27:07,514 Thank you. Thank you.
319 00:27:09,650 00:27:12,141 Keep the penny. Thank you. Keep the penny. Thank you.
320 00:27:21,203 00:27:24,786 - I'm surprised they printed it. - It's probably on the internet by now. - I'm surprised they printed it. - It's probably on the internet by now.
321 00:27:24,874 00:27:29,666 By the sound of it, most people have seen it already. By the sound of it, most people have seen it already.
322 00:27:29,753 00:27:33,039 For God's sake. I mean, lots of people have their photos taken For God's sake. I mean, lots of people have their photos taken
323 00:27:33,132 00:27:35,836 with their tops off on holiday in Ibiza, don't they? with their tops off on holiday in Ibiza, don't they?
324 00:27:35,926 00:27:38,464 I think it just probably came as a slight shock, I think it just probably came as a slight shock,
325 00:27:38,554 00:27:42,717 what with the previous 15 photos being of flower arrangements. what with the previous 15 photos being of flower arrangements.
326 00:27:42,808 00:27:46,592 I've screwed up a-bloody-gain, haven't I? Yet a-bloody-gain. I've screwed up a-bloody-gain, haven't I? Yet a-bloody-gain.
327 00:27:46,687 00:27:48,513 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
328 00:27:48,605 00:27:52,104 Look, what we have to ask ourselves here is this. Look, what we have to ask ourselves here is this.
329 00:27:52,192 00:27:55,395 What is the difference between this and the Venus de Milo? What is the difference between this and the Venus de Milo?
330 00:27:55,487 00:27:58,025 Oh, I love quizzes. Oh, I love quizzes.
331 00:27:58,114 00:28:00,356 - The cooker? - Celia. - The cooker? - Celia.
332 00:28:01,326 00:28:04,031 Both feature women with their breasts exposed. Both feature women with their breasts exposed.
333 00:28:04,120 00:28:06,790 What makes one a work of art? What makes one a work of art?
334 00:28:06,873 00:28:10,207 I think the answer to that's very simple. An artist. I think the answer to that's very simple. An artist.
335 00:28:10,293 00:28:12,369 She's clever. She's clever.
336 00:28:14,631 00:28:16,707 An artist. An artist.
337 00:28:26,476 00:28:28,349 She's lovely. She's lovely.
338 00:28:28,436 00:28:31,223 A lovely light you've used on the face there. A lovely light you've used on the face there.
339 00:28:31,314 00:28:35,146 Got her eyes, didn't he? And all those curls. Got her eyes, didn't he? And all those curls.
340 00:28:35,234 00:28:36,859 Lovely. Lovely.
341 00:28:36,944 00:28:39,151 Oh. Oh.
342 00:28:39,238 00:28:42,607 So, have you photographed many humans, or is it mainly... So, have you photographed many humans, or is it mainly...
343 00:28:42,700 00:28:45,321 It is mainly poodles. It is mainly poodles.
344 00:28:45,411 00:28:48,246 The blood represents globalisation The blood represents globalisation
345 00:28:48,330 00:28:52,494 and the sheep's skull is the death of democracy. and the sheep's skull is the death of democracy.
346 00:28:53,460 00:28:57,292 - And the carrot? - The carrot is capitalism. - And the carrot? - The carrot is capitalism.
347 00:29:02,678 00:29:07,553 Mainly orchids. I'm particularly interested in woodland orchids. Mainly orchids. I'm particularly interested in woodland orchids.
348 00:29:07,641 00:29:12,635 And butterflies. I love photographing native butterflies. And butterflies. I love photographing native butterflies.
349 00:29:12,729 00:29:15,303 What exactly is your project? What exactly is your project?
350 00:29:19,361 00:29:21,852 Hello, ladies. Hello, ladies.
351 00:29:25,617 00:29:27,693 You'll be all right. You'll be all right.
352 00:29:29,663 00:29:33,707 This is crazy. He won't remember. This is crazy. He won't remember.
353 00:29:33,792 00:29:38,869 He must see thousands of people come through here every day. He must see thousands of people come through here every day.
354 00:29:38,963 00:29:42,463 Mrs. Clarke? John's wife? Mrs. Clarke? John's wife?
355 00:29:42,550 00:29:43,831 Yeah. Yeah.
356 00:29:43,927 00:29:46,215 Hiya. Hiya.
357 00:29:46,429 00:29:48,505 Hiya. Hiya.
358 00:29:54,270 00:29:56,346 Are you serious? Are you serious?
359 00:29:56,439 00:30:01,943 You've got 12 women in Skipton who are all committed to doin' a nude photo shoot? You've got 12 women in Skipton who are all committed to doin' a nude photo shoot?
360 00:30:02,028 00:30:04,945 - Well, technically we haven't got 12. - Yes. - Well, technically we haven't got 12. - Yes.
361 00:30:05,031 00:30:08,980 So long as we can find the right photographer. So long as we can find the right photographer.
362 00:30:12,121 00:30:14,612 [PLAYS "AVE MARIA" ON ORGAN] [PLAYS "AVE MARIA" ON ORGAN]
363 00:30:20,004 00:30:24,048 [WHISPERS] We've found the right photographer. [WHISPERS] We've found the right photographer.
364 00:30:24,133 00:30:26,802 Are you going to commit to it? Are you going to commit to it?
365 00:30:26,885 00:30:28,961 You are? You are?
366 00:30:30,973 00:30:33,546 Sorry. Sorry.
367 00:30:33,642 00:30:39,016 Don't think of it as naked, Cora. It's not naked. It's nude. Don't think of it as naked, Cora. It's not naked. It's nude.
368 00:30:39,773 00:30:44,898 Annie, I am 55 years old. Annie, I am 55 years old.
369 00:30:45,946 00:30:50,240 So if I'm not gonna get 'em out now, when am I? So if I'm not gonna get 'em out now, when am I?
370 00:30:51,243 00:30:53,947 [PLAYS "HERE COMES THE BRIDE"] [PLAYS "HERE COMES THE BRIDE"]
371 00:30:54,037 00:30:57,655 It's the whole showing-your-breasts issue that concerns me. It's the whole showing-your-breasts issue that concerns me.
372 00:30:57,749 00:31:01,165 I think the whole point is that we don't properly. I think the whole point is that we don't properly.
373 00:31:01,252 00:31:04,040 I know. That's what concerns me. I know. That's what concerns me.
374 00:31:06,299 00:31:09,798 - Yours are good, are they? - They're tremendous. - Yours are good, are they? - They're tremendous.
375 00:31:11,095 00:31:15,259 Jessie, we're getting to the point now where we really need to commit. Jessie, we're getting to the point now where we really need to commit.
376 00:31:15,350 00:31:18,054 - Now, I know... - No front bottoms. - Now, I know... - No front bottoms.
377 00:31:18,144 00:31:19,424 What? What?
378 00:31:19,520 00:31:22,936 I'm in, just as long as it's no front bottoms. I'm in, just as long as it's no front bottoms.
379 00:31:23,024 00:31:25,941 That's a sight I've reserved for just one man in my life. That's a sight I've reserved for just one man in my life.
380 00:31:26,027 00:31:29,443 - Do you think your husband'll mind? - It wasn't my husband. - Do you think your husband'll mind? - It wasn't my husband.
381 00:31:29,530 00:31:33,444 - Course you've got a body worth lookin' at. - Just look at that parking! - Course you've got a body worth lookin' at. - Just look at that parking!
382 00:31:33,534 00:31:34,364 Ruth. Ruth.
383 00:31:34,452 00:31:36,943 Doesn't it annoy you when people take two spaces? Doesn't it annoy you when people take two spaces?
384 00:31:37,038 00:31:40,905 Look, none of us have got a body worth looking at. Look, none of us have got a body worth looking at.
385 00:31:41,000 00:31:43,491 No, well, that's not... No, well, that's not...
386 00:31:45,880 00:31:50,292 We're not all Chrises in this life. Some of us are Ruths. We're not all Chrises in this life. Some of us are Ruths.
387 00:31:50,384 00:31:52,460 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
388 00:31:53,512 00:31:55,588 Ruth. Ruth. Ruth. Ruth.
389 00:32:15,283 00:32:18,735 Right, I did a bit of thinking about this calendar. Right, I did a bit of thinking about this calendar.
390 00:32:20,580 00:32:24,281 OK, I think there's a trick we could play here. OK, I think there's a trick we could play here.
391 00:32:24,376 00:32:28,872 At first glance, it should look like your classic WI calendar. At first glance, it should look like your classic WI calendar.
392 00:32:28,963 00:32:33,424 You know, all your jams, cakes, sewing and all that. You know, all your jams, cakes, sewing and all that.
393 00:32:33,510 00:32:35,965 You know, everything you'd expect. You know, everything you'd expect.
394 00:32:36,054 00:32:38,627 Except for one tiny thing. Except for one tiny thing.
395 00:32:39,682 00:32:44,261 The person doing it is, uh... naked. The person doing it is, uh... naked.
396 00:32:53,404 00:32:58,362 It's... It's perfect, Lawrence. Really, it's perfect. It's... It's perfect, Lawrence. Really, it's perfect.
397 00:32:58,451 00:33:03,528 A different girl for every month in a different guise. A different girl for every month in a different guise.
398 00:33:03,623 00:33:06,576 Painting, um... press. Painting, um... press.
399 00:33:07,585 00:33:11,534 Until December, when I thought we could do a group photo of you all together, Until December, when I thought we could do a group photo of you all together,
400 00:33:11,630 00:33:14,833 you know, singin' a Christmas carol. you know, singin' a Christmas carol.
401 00:33:14,925 00:33:18,259 With little hats on, like Father Christmas. With little hats on, like Father Christmas.
402 00:33:18,345 00:33:23,007 There's just one small problem. The photographer's a man. There's just one small problem. The photographer's a man.
403 00:33:23,100 00:33:25,805 The point is we won't actually be showing anything. The point is we won't actually be showing anything.
404 00:33:25,894 00:33:31,233 In the photos. I imagine a considerable amount will be on display in the room. In the photos. I imagine a considerable amount will be on display in the room.
405 00:33:31,316 00:33:33,108 That's a point. That's a point.
406 00:33:33,193 00:33:35,565 He'll have to be in the room to take the photos. He'll have to be in the room to take the photos.
407 00:33:35,654 00:33:39,734 - With us naked! - Well, nude. - With us naked! - Well, nude.
408 00:33:39,825 00:33:43,359 Listen, an art photographer doesn't see a naked woman. Listen, an art photographer doesn't see a naked woman.
409 00:33:43,453 00:33:48,115 - He sees a life model. - Yes, the nudity isn't important. - He sees a life model. - Yes, the nudity isn't important.
410 00:33:48,208 00:33:50,580 Easy to say when you've got your knickers on. Easy to say when you've got your knickers on.
411 00:33:50,669 00:33:53,670 He'll be looking at us as an artist. He'll be looking at us as an artist.
412 00:33:53,755 00:33:56,163 - I've heard that one before. - Have you? - I've heard that one before. - Have you?
413 00:33:56,257 00:33:59,626 - He's not that kind of bloke. - I've heard that one before an' all! - He's not that kind of bloke. - I've heard that one before an' all!
414 00:33:59,719 00:34:01,759 Where is he? Where is he?
415 00:34:08,519 00:34:10,595 Lawrence? Lawrence?
416 00:34:17,111 00:34:24,324 I mean, have you any idea how intimidating it is to come in here in front of you lot? I mean, have you any idea how intimidating it is to come in here in front of you lot?
417 00:34:24,410 00:34:27,744 How much it's taken that young man to do that? How much it's taken that young man to do that?
418 00:34:27,830 00:34:29,906 [MUMBLING] Sorry. [MUMBLING] Sorry.
419 00:34:30,833 00:34:35,709 Course we're not gonna go round parading ourselves in a room full of men. Course we're not gonna go round parading ourselves in a room full of men.
420 00:34:35,796 00:34:39,960 This isn't... France, for God's sake. This isn't... France, for God's sake.
421 00:34:41,051 00:34:45,797 Lawrence will set up the photo, leave the room, Lawrence will set up the photo, leave the room,
422 00:34:45,889 00:34:51,264 dressing gowns come off, and one of us will click the shutter. dressing gowns come off, and one of us will click the shutter.
423 00:34:54,356 00:34:55,934 Right. Right.
424 00:34:56,024 00:34:58,100 Lawrence? Lawrence?
425 00:35:02,322 00:35:04,896 I think these girls got something to say to you. I think these girls got something to say to you.
426 00:35:05,951 00:35:08,656 - Sorry. - Sorry, Lawrence. - Sorry. - Sorry, Lawrence.
427 00:35:08,745 00:35:13,621 ♪ I will not cease from mental fight ♪ ♪ I will not cease from mental fight ♪
428 00:35:13,708 00:35:19,047 ♪ Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand ♪ ♪ Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand ♪
429 00:35:19,130 00:35:24,754 ♪ Till we have built Jerusalem ♪ ♪ Till we have built Jerusalem ♪
430 00:35:24,844 00:35:31,677 ♪ In England's green and pleasant land ♪ ♪ In England's green and pleasant land ♪
431 00:35:33,895 00:35:38,308 Right. Has anyone any activities planned Right. Has anyone any activities planned
432 00:35:38,399 00:35:43,904 we might want to seek approval for at National Conference? we might want to seek approval for at National Conference?
433 00:35:43,988 00:35:45,945 It's always wise. It's always wise.
434 00:35:46,032 00:35:49,650 We wouldn't want to do anything without National Committee approval, We wouldn't want to do anything without National Committee approval,
435 00:35:49,744 00:35:55,200 not with Knapely being such a proud WI, with an unblemished reputation, not with Knapely being such a proud WI, with an unblemished reputation,
436 00:35:55,291 00:36:00,498 where it would take only one small act by a few rogue individuals where it would take only one small act by a few rogue individuals
437 00:36:00,588 00:36:04,537 to ruin a reputation that we've spent all these years... to ruin a reputation that we've spent all these years...
438 00:36:04,633 00:36:07,303 All right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right.
439 00:36:07,386 00:36:11,847 Look, we're plannin' a calendar for John, everyone. Look, we're plannin' a calendar for John, everyone.
440 00:36:11,932 00:36:19,098 Yeah, it's, um... to raise money to buy something for the relatives' room Yeah, it's, um... to raise money to buy something for the relatives' room
441 00:36:19,189 00:36:22,356 in... in Knapely General. in... in Knapely General.
442 00:36:24,903 00:36:29,364 - And? - And with us on it. - And? - And with us on it.
443 00:36:29,449 00:36:31,940 One for each month. One for each month.
444 00:36:32,619 00:36:35,110 And? And?
445 00:36:35,205 00:36:37,281 Well... Well...
446 00:36:38,625 00:36:42,076 - That's about it, really... - Naked! - That's about it, really... - Naked!
447 00:36:42,170 00:36:45,753 - Naked? - Not naked. Nude. - Naked? - Not naked. Nude.
448 00:36:45,840 00:36:48,925 - What's the difference? - Art. - What's the difference? - Art.
449 00:36:49,010 00:36:53,802 And seein' Marie's raised the issue, we're a good few months short. And seein' Marie's raised the issue, we're a good few months short.
450 00:36:54,557 00:36:59,682 Is that not because all this has the air of another one of Chris's great ideas? Is that not because all this has the air of another one of Chris's great ideas?
451 00:36:59,771 00:37:02,558 Like the vodka-tasting night. Like the vodka-tasting night.
452 00:37:02,649 00:37:06,349 No, no. Because I'm going to make sure this one turns out OK, Marie. No, no. Because I'm going to make sure this one turns out OK, Marie.
453 00:37:06,444 00:37:09,017 Because it's for John. Because it's for John.
454 00:37:09,113 00:37:13,941 It was inspired by John, and it's for John, and it's because of John. It was inspired by John, and it's for John, and it's because of John.
455 00:37:14,035 00:37:20,453 And no matter what you might think of the idea, Marie, you're lookin' at January. And no matter what you might think of the idea, Marie, you're lookin' at January.
456 00:37:22,251 00:37:24,742 February. February.
457 00:37:25,296 00:37:27,419 March. March.
458 00:37:30,885 00:37:33,257 April! April!
459 00:37:42,146 00:37:45,562 Chris, do we have to make any special preparations? Chris, do we have to make any special preparations?
460 00:37:45,649 00:37:49,267 Oh, no, no. These pictures are going to be us, girls, as we come. Oh, no, no. These pictures are going to be us, girls, as we come.
461 00:37:49,361 00:37:53,110 - Oh, God. - Grey hair, cellulite, the lot. - Oh, God. - Grey hair, cellulite, the lot.
462 00:37:53,198 00:37:57,825 Remember, The last phase is the most glorious! Remember, The last phase is the most glorious!
463 00:38:00,038 00:38:02,494 Do you have any pictures of Rene Russo? Do you have any pictures of Rene Russo?
464 00:38:21,059 00:38:22,059 Thanks. Thanks.
465 00:38:39,327 00:38:42,660 - A week? - I know. - A week? - I know.
466 00:38:42,747 00:38:46,994 It's a client. He does, um... you know this new chain of hotels? It's a client. He does, um... you know this new chain of hotels?
467 00:38:47,084 00:38:49,492 Northern summat? Northern summat?
468 00:38:49,587 00:38:51,663 Shall I come? Shall I come?
469 00:38:53,466 00:38:55,754 - What? - Save your sanity, love. - What? - Save your sanity, love.
470 00:38:55,843 00:38:57,919 You know, it's carpets. You know, it's carpets.
471 00:38:58,012 00:39:02,092 If I raced dragsters, there might be summat worth watching. If I raced dragsters, there might be summat worth watching.
472 00:39:02,183 00:39:08,351 Yeah, I wanted to play next Wednesday, but I've got a bloody board meeting. Yeah, I wanted to play next Wednesday, but I've got a bloody board meeting.
473 00:39:08,439 00:39:11,143 Oh, darling, come on! Oh, darling, come on!
474 00:39:11,233 00:39:15,183 - Your ball's over there. - I'm coming, Frank. - Your ball's over there. - I'm coming, Frank.
475 00:39:16,697 00:39:18,773 [PHONE RINGS] [PHONE RINGS]
476 00:39:22,244 00:39:25,079 T minus two hours. Bras off to avoid strap marks. T minus two hours. Bras off to avoid strap marks.
477 00:39:25,163 00:39:28,034 As we speak, darling. As we speak. As we speak, darling. As we speak.
478 00:39:28,125 00:39:29,951 Darling? Come on! Darling? Come on!
479 00:39:30,043 00:39:32,119 Good girl. Good girl.
480 00:40:03,743 00:40:06,448 - CORA: We're going to go. - JESSIE: We're going to go. - CORA: We're going to go. - JESSIE: We're going to go.
481 00:40:06,537 00:40:09,028 - That's the decision. - That's the decision. - That's the decision. - That's the decision.
482 00:40:09,123 00:40:13,121 JESSIE: We're going to go and tell them we're not going to do it. JESSIE: We're going to go and tell them we're not going to do it.
483 00:40:24,096 00:40:26,766 In, in, in. Quick! In, in, in. Quick!
484 00:40:39,486 00:40:44,611 You have to realise I've never appeared nude in front of anyone in my life. You have to realise I've never appeared nude in front of anyone in my life.
485 00:40:44,700 00:40:46,823 - Not even Frank? - Frank's a major. - Not even Frank? - Frank's a major.
486 00:40:46,910 00:40:50,611 We approach nudity on a strictly need-to-know basis. We approach nudity on a strictly need-to-know basis.
487 00:40:50,706 00:40:53,457 None of us have been here before, love. None of us have been here before, love.
488 00:40:53,542 00:40:58,963 I mean, for God's sake, my John didn't see me naked until the spring of 1975. I mean, for God's sake, my John didn't see me naked until the spring of 1975.
489 00:40:59,047 00:41:01,336 What happened in the spring of '75? What happened in the spring of '75?
490 00:41:01,425 00:41:05,007 There was a lizard in the shower block at Abergele. There was a lizard in the shower block at Abergele.
491 00:41:06,596 00:41:09,716 Quite a few people saw me naked that morning. Quite a few people saw me naked that morning.
492 00:41:09,808 00:41:12,096 [WOMEN LAUGHING] [WOMEN LAUGHING]
493 00:41:59,273 00:42:01,811 Oh, that's not fair. Oh, that's not fair.
494 00:42:05,195 00:42:07,402 Right. Right.
495 00:42:07,489 00:42:10,609 - Shit or bust. - Shit or bust. - Shit or bust. - Shit or bust.
496 00:42:10,701 00:42:14,319 - Right, Lawrence. - Ready when you are. - Right, Lawrence. - Ready when you are.
497 00:42:24,840 00:42:27,757 They'll never go through with it. They'll never go through with it.
498 00:42:29,010 00:42:33,257 - It's a tool of the trade. - Ladies, just bring the lamp up a bit. - It's a tool of the trade. - Ladies, just bring the lamp up a bit.
499 00:42:33,348 00:42:36,432 - Raise the lamp for me. - No, don't touch that. - Raise the lamp for me. - No, don't touch that.
500 00:42:37,310 00:42:38,555 OK? OK?
501 00:42:38,645 00:42:39,843 Right. Right.
502 00:42:39,938 00:42:43,888 Annie? Chris? Can you just clear frame for me? Annie? Chris? Can you just clear frame for me?
503 00:42:47,237 00:42:50,902 OK, Celia, just lean in toward t'camera a little bit. OK, Celia, just lean in toward t'camera a little bit.
504 00:42:50,990 00:42:53,113 Right. Enough? Right. Enough?
505 00:42:53,201 00:42:55,075 Perfect. Perfect.
506 00:43:04,087 00:43:06,163 OK. Ready. OK. Ready.
507 00:43:08,174 00:43:10,250 Um... Um...
508 00:43:11,886 00:43:13,463 OK. OK.
509 00:43:17,683 00:43:21,895 Lawrence, we're going to need considerably bigger buns. Lawrence, we're going to need considerably bigger buns.
510 00:43:34,491 00:43:36,567 Weren't the buns flat? Weren't the buns flat?
511 00:43:38,537 00:43:41,075 No! Don't mess with the buns! No! Don't mess with the buns!
512 00:43:41,165 00:43:43,453 I like them like this. They cover more. I like them like this. They cover more.
513 00:43:43,542 00:43:46,496 No, don't touch the composition! No, don't touch the composition!
514 00:43:46,587 00:43:50,750 - But, Lawrence, were the top buns flat? - They're flat! - But, Lawrence, were the top buns flat? - They're flat!
515 00:43:50,841 00:43:53,960 Yeah, but flat for us or flat for her? Yeah, but flat for us or flat for her?
516 00:43:56,263 00:43:58,054 [ALL YELP] [ALL YELP]
517 00:43:59,141 00:44:01,928 Don't touch the buns. Don't touch the buns.
518 00:44:04,229 00:44:05,972 Please. Please.
519 00:44:06,648 00:44:08,724 Sorry. Sorry.
520 00:44:11,069 00:44:13,560 Bad girl. Bad girl.
521 00:44:13,655 00:44:15,731 Bun toucher. Bun toucher.
522 00:44:16,825 00:44:21,154 - LAWRENCE: She's got to look relaxed. - I am bloody relaxed. - LAWRENCE: She's got to look relaxed. - I am bloody relaxed.
523 00:44:21,246 00:44:24,116 - LAWRENCE: And she's gotta smile. - I am smiling! - LAWRENCE: And she's gotta smile. - I am smiling!
524 00:44:24,207 00:44:28,501 No, not too much. I want it enigmatic. No, not too much. I want it enigmatic.
525 00:44:29,796 00:44:34,125 She looks like she's seen somebody she knows in the distance. She looks like she's seen somebody she knows in the distance.
526 00:44:35,802 00:44:43,133 Left side up a little. Your right side down a little. And the middle section sort of... Left side up a little. Your right side down a little. And the middle section sort of...
527 00:44:43,225 00:44:47,603 For God's sake, get bloody Botticelli in here. For God's sake, get bloody Botticelli in here.
528 00:44:48,272 00:44:51,392 Lawrence. Get in here. Lawrence. Get in here.
529 00:44:59,158 00:45:01,613 Chin down to your left. Chin down to your left.
530 00:45:03,871 00:45:06,409 You look beautiful, Celia. You look beautiful, Celia.
531 00:45:12,296 00:45:14,169 OK. OK.
532 00:45:14,256 00:45:16,414 We're away. We're away.
533 00:45:16,508 00:45:19,426 ["YOU UPSET ME, BABY" BY B B KING] ["YOU UPSET ME, BABY" BY B B KING]
534 00:45:23,640 00:45:27,305 I used to be in a band in the '70s. One day... I used to be in a band in the '70s. One day...
535 00:45:32,232 00:45:33,607 Thank you. Thank you.
536 00:45:35,860 00:45:38,019 Yeah... Yeah...
537 00:46:02,512 00:46:06,177 Come on, Sugden. It's your own time you're wasting. Come on, Sugden. It's your own time you're wasting.
538 00:46:06,265 00:46:09,052 I was his junior school teacher. I was his junior school teacher.
539 00:46:10,686 00:46:15,147 Oh, Jessie! What did I say about relaxing him? Oh, Jessie! What did I say about relaxing him?
540 00:46:15,232 00:46:18,482 What did she say about relaxing him? What did she say about relaxing him?
541 00:46:46,388 00:46:48,464 Cup of tea, girls? Cup of tea, girls?
542 00:46:59,609 00:47:01,685 There's no E flat in "Jerusalem". There's no E flat in "Jerusalem".
543 00:47:01,778 00:47:04,150 I'll be disappointed if they look at me fingers. I'll be disappointed if they look at me fingers.
544 00:47:40,441 00:47:41,816 Oh. Oh.
545 00:47:41,901 00:47:43,977 All right? All right?
546 00:47:46,864 00:47:49,355 Are you doing this one? Are you doing this one?
547 00:47:51,076 00:47:52,736 What's your name? What's your name?
548 00:47:52,828 00:47:55,497 - Ruth. - Ruth. - Ruth. - Ruth.
549 00:47:55,581 00:47:58,333 I'm Lawrence. Photographer. I'm Lawrence. Photographer.
550 00:48:02,004 00:48:03,996 One minute. One minute.
551 00:48:12,514 00:48:15,800 - Lawrence? Lawrence, who's next? - Ruth. - Lawrence? Lawrence, who's next? - Ruth.
552 00:48:15,892 00:48:17,387 Ruth? Ruth?
553 00:48:17,477 00:48:20,264 Ruth? No. No, wait. Lawrence! Ruth? No. No, wait. Lawrence!
554 00:48:36,121 00:48:38,694 Right. Let's do it. Right. Let's do it.
555 00:48:56,516 00:49:00,300 Could I have, well, you know, some privacy? Could I have, well, you know, some privacy?
556 00:49:03,022 00:49:06,889 [CHANTING] Off! Off! Off! [CHANTING] Off! Off! Off!
557 00:49:06,984 00:49:11,313 Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! Off!
558 00:49:18,120 00:49:23,245 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year ♪ ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year ♪
559 00:49:43,103 00:49:47,231 Congratulations. It's a calendar. Congratulations. It's a calendar.
560 00:49:56,366 00:49:59,735 CHRIS: Yes, yes. Black and white with just one colour. CHRIS: Yes, yes. Black and white with just one colour.
561 00:49:59,828 00:50:03,528 I don't know... 300... I don't know... 300...
562 00:50:03,623 00:50:05,663 400... 400...
563 00:50:05,750 00:50:08,668 No, 500 copies. No, 500 copies.
564 00:50:08,753 00:50:11,244 So how much would that be? So how much would that be?
565 00:50:16,052 00:50:18,424 Thank you. Get back to you. Thank you. Get back to you.
566 00:50:18,513 00:50:21,300 - It's never that much. - It bloody is. - It's never that much. - It bloody is.
567 00:50:22,850 00:50:25,057 We're looking for sponsorship, We're looking for sponsorship,
568 00:50:25,144 00:50:28,015 and my husband always used your products, you see. and my husband always used your products, you see.
569 00:50:28,105 00:50:31,225 He worked for the National Park. He worked for the National Park.
570 00:50:31,317 00:50:33,642 - John Clarke? - Yes, yes, that's right. - John Clarke? - Yes, yes, that's right.
571 00:50:33,736 00:50:35,812 He died of leukaemia. He died of leukaemia.
572 00:50:35,905 00:50:39,855 - Aye, I know. I'm sorry. - Thank you. - Aye, I know. I'm sorry. - Thank you.
573 00:50:39,950 00:50:44,493 - What do you need sponsorship for? - OK, um... - What do you need sponsorship for? - OK, um...
574 00:50:51,462 00:50:56,420 We're getting there. But the sunflower needs to leap out at you. More yellow. We're getting there. But the sunflower needs to leap out at you. More yellow.
575 00:50:56,508 00:51:01,503 - Quiet! Look, you can't all be July. - It's my birthday in July. - Quiet! Look, you can't all be July. - It's my birthday in July.
576 00:51:01,597 00:51:04,681 My divorce came through in March. I'd like to be September. My divorce came through in March. I'd like to be September.
577 00:51:07,811 00:51:09,887 [KNOCKING] [KNOCKING]
578 00:51:17,529 00:51:18,359 Marie. Marie.
579 00:51:18,447 00:51:22,147 I'm not disturbing you, am I? I was just passing. I'm not disturbing you, am I? I was just passing.
580 00:51:22,242 00:51:26,109 I bought, um... They're nothing much. I bought, um... They're nothing much.
581 00:51:26,204 00:51:29,538 Oh, Marie, they're lovely. Come on in. Oh, Marie, they're lovely. Come on in.
582 00:51:35,588 00:51:38,673 I never felt I really knew John. I never felt I really knew John.
583 00:51:39,801 00:51:43,549 He worked for the National Park, didn't he? He worked for the National Park, didn't he?
584 00:51:44,681 00:51:50,304 - I just wanted to say, if there's anything... - These are beautiful. Are they gerberas? - I just wanted to say, if there's anything... - These are beautiful. Are they gerberas?
585 00:51:50,395 00:51:52,968 Gorgeous. Gorgeous.
586 00:51:53,064 00:51:58,734 You should get away for a bit. Have a holiday. You know, get out of Knapely. You should get away for a bit. Have a holiday. You know, get out of Knapely.
587 00:51:58,819 00:52:01,986 - You trying to get rid of me? - No, no. I just... - You trying to get rid of me? - No, no. I just...
588 00:52:03,699 00:52:07,567 - I feel I have to say something, Annie. - More tea? - I feel I have to say something, Annie. - More tea?
589 00:52:07,661 00:52:09,737 No, no. No, no.
590 00:52:11,499 00:52:14,784 I do know how difficult things must be for you at the moment, I do know how difficult things must be for you at the moment,
591 00:52:14,877 00:52:17,546 how you must be feeling. how you must be feeling.
592 00:52:17,630 00:52:21,627 Do you? Oh, dear. Do you? Oh, dear.
593 00:52:23,260 00:52:27,554 Do you think John would have approved of this, Annie? Really? Do you think John would have approved of this, Annie? Really?
594 00:52:27,639 00:52:29,965 You didn't know John, you say? You didn't know John, you say?
595 00:52:30,058 00:52:33,677 No, but I know that he was a good man, a decent man. No, but I know that he was a good man, a decent man.
596 00:52:34,813 00:52:38,893 If your concern is for the reputation of Knapely WI... If your concern is for the reputation of Knapely WI...
597 00:52:38,984 00:52:42,435 - No, that's not what I'm saying. - Well, I think it is. - No, that's not what I'm saying. - Well, I think it is.
598 00:52:42,529 00:52:46,112 The WI is about doing good. The WI is about doing good.
599 00:52:46,199 00:52:49,864 And I think we have to ask ourselves what does more good - And I think we have to ask ourselves what does more good -
600 00:52:49,953 00:52:54,531 knowing slightly more about broccoli one week than we did the last knowing slightly more about broccoli one week than we did the last
601 00:52:54,624 00:52:58,325 or providing some comfort for someone in the worst hours of their life? or providing some comfort for someone in the worst hours of their life?
602 00:52:58,420 00:53:00,792 Because that's what it's like, sweetheart. Because that's what it's like, sweetheart.
603 00:53:00,880 00:53:04,960 And, no, I don't think you do know how I feel. And, no, I don't think you do know how I feel.
604 00:53:07,053 00:53:09,129 CHRIS: Annie! CHRIS: Annie!
605 00:53:09,847 00:53:11,757 Result! Result!
606 00:53:11,849 00:53:14,387 Oh. Oh, hello, Marie. Oh. Oh, hello, Marie.
607 00:53:14,477 00:53:16,968 Sorry, were you...? Sorry, were you...?
608 00:53:17,063 00:53:20,396 I don't know. Marie, had you finished? I don't know. Marie, had you finished?
609 00:53:21,234 00:53:25,362 You wanna put a penny in with those. They last longer. You wanna put a penny in with those. They last longer.
610 00:53:25,446 00:53:27,735 Chris. Chris.
611 00:53:27,823 00:53:31,157 - [WHISPERS] What was that about? - Don't ask. What's the result? - [WHISPERS] What was that about? - Don't ask. What's the result?
612 00:53:31,243 00:53:33,817 - I've got us a sponsor. - What? - I've got us a sponsor. - What?
613 00:53:33,913 00:53:37,032 [BLOWS RASPBERRY] ...to the old farts at Carmichael's Seeds. [BLOWS RASPBERRY] ...to the old farts at Carmichael's Seeds.
614 00:53:37,124 00:53:40,042 Say hello to the lovely people at Jennings. Say hello to the lovely people at Jennings.
615 00:53:40,127 00:53:41,127 The beer? The beer?
616 00:53:41,170 00:53:43,957 - Printing costs and a press launch. - The beer people? - Printing costs and a press launch. - The beer people?
617 00:53:44,048 00:53:47,547 All we have to do is put their little logo at the bottom of each page. All we have to do is put their little logo at the bottom of each page.
618 00:53:47,635 00:53:52,462 No, but the seed company made sense cos, you know, John loved flowers. No, but the seed company made sense cos, you know, John loved flowers.
619 00:53:52,556 00:53:55,806 But he never drank beer, Chris. You know that. But he never drank beer, Chris. You know that.
620 00:53:55,893 00:53:58,384 It's not about the beer. It's about their money. It's not about the beer. It's about their money.
621 00:53:58,479 00:54:01,016 [PHONE RINGS] [PHONE RINGS]
622 00:54:10,991 00:54:14,027 LAWRENCE: There it is. Have a look. LAWRENCE: There it is. Have a look.
623 00:54:14,119 00:54:16,824 ANNIE: It's beautiful. ANNIE: It's beautiful.
624 00:54:23,545 00:54:28,705 Hello, is this the Skipton News? Could I speak to your publicity person, please? Hello, is this the Skipton News? Could I speak to your publicity person, please?
625 00:54:28,800 00:54:30,876 I want to make an announcement. I want to make an announcement.
626 00:54:30,969 00:54:33,673 Madam Chairman, can I just... Sorry. Madam Chairman, can I just... Sorry.
627 00:54:33,763 00:54:37,346 Madam Chairman, I'm sorry. Sorry. Madam Chairman, I'm sorry. Sorry.
628 00:54:37,433 00:54:39,177 - It's Knapely. - Sorry? - It's Knapely. - Sorry?
629 00:54:39,269 00:54:41,391 - In Yorkshire. - Charming. - In Yorkshire. - Charming.
630 00:54:41,479 00:54:45,524 Listen. I'm sorry to bother you in the middle of conference, Listen. I'm sorry to bother you in the middle of conference,
631 00:54:45,608 00:54:50,021 but there's an issue come up at my WI which I feel duty-bound to inform you of. but there's an issue come up at my WI which I feel duty-bound to inform you of.
632 00:54:50,113 00:54:53,778 Well, you'll have to be brief. This way. Well, you'll have to be brief. This way.
633 00:54:56,619 00:55:00,403 - Bastard! - She wouldn't have done it deliberately. - Bastard! - She wouldn't have done it deliberately.
634 00:55:00,498 00:55:04,542 - The absolute, and I hate to use the word... - Well, don't then. - The absolute, and I hate to use the word... - Well, don't then.
635 00:55:04,627 00:55:07,711 - It might have just slipped out. - Oh, yes, to Brenda Mooney. - It might have just slipped out. - Oh, yes, to Brenda Mooney.
636 00:55:07,797 00:55:11,925 Who happens to be Madam Chairman of the National WI Federation. Who happens to be Madam Chairman of the National WI Federation.
637 00:55:12,009 00:55:13,384 We could... We could...
638 00:55:13,469 00:55:16,719 I mean, Marie has deliberately poured poison down there. I mean, Marie has deliberately poured poison down there.
639 00:55:16,805 00:55:21,135 - Well, we'll just... - Do what, Ruth? Please tell me. - Well, we'll just... - Do what, Ruth? Please tell me.
640 00:55:21,226 00:55:25,271 Seeing as 500 calendars are being printed as we speak. Seeing as 500 calendars are being printed as we speak.
641 00:55:25,355 00:55:29,353 If we can't use the name Women's Institute, we just don't use it. If we can't use the name Women's Institute, we just don't use it.
642 00:55:29,443 00:55:33,310 If it's not the Women's Institute, it's just a load of middle-aged women If it's not the Women's Institute, it's just a load of middle-aged women
643 00:55:33,405 00:55:37,782 mysteriously standing naked behind fruitcakes. mysteriously standing naked behind fruitcakes.
644 00:55:40,287 00:55:44,035 Oh, my God! It would look like pornography! Oh, my God! It would look like pornography!
645 00:55:49,504 00:55:51,662 But I don't know what's on the order form. But I don't know what's on the order form.
646 00:55:51,756 00:55:55,540 It's under the tin can where the bent nail used to be. It's under the tin can where the bent nail used to be.
647 00:55:55,635 00:55:58,838 You're gonna have to sort this one out on your own, sweetheart. You're gonna have to sort this one out on your own, sweetheart.
648 00:55:58,930 00:56:01,931 Why? Where the hell are you? Why? Where the hell are you?
649 00:56:02,016 00:56:07,093 Tell you later. I'll be back tonight for the press conference. Bye! Tell you later. I'll be back tonight for the press conference. Bye!
650 00:56:10,858 00:56:15,105 Oh, uh, Chris Harper and Annie Clarke from Knapely to see Brenda Mooney. Oh, uh, Chris Harper and Annie Clarke from Knapely to see Brenda Mooney.
651 00:56:15,196 00:56:17,983 - Are you official delegates? - Yes, from Knapely. - Are you official delegates? - Yes, from Knapely.
652 00:56:18,074 00:56:22,570 - Yes, from Knapely. - And you're here to do an open spot? - Yes, from Knapely. - And you're here to do an open spot?
653 00:56:22,662 00:56:25,828 - Right. Follow me. - We're in. - Right. Follow me. - We're in.
654 00:56:28,376 00:56:31,791 - What's an open spot? Sounds painful. - I don't know. - What's an open spot? Sounds painful. - I don't know.
655 00:56:31,879 00:56:34,750 - Very last minute. Go on straight away. - On where? - Very last minute. Go on straight away. - On where?
656 00:56:34,840 00:56:36,418 Don't know. Don't know.
657 00:56:37,927 00:56:40,500 - Which WI are you? - We're from Knapely. - Which WI are you? - We're from Knapely.
658 00:56:40,596 00:56:43,087 There are lots of them. There are lots of them.
659 00:56:45,851 00:56:50,180 Um, Brenda... Sorry. Madam Chairperson... Um, Brenda... Sorry. Madam Chairperson...
660 00:56:50,272 00:56:53,143 - "Conference" please. - Sorry? I beg your pardon? - "Conference" please. - Sorry? I beg your pardon?
661 00:56:53,233 00:56:55,807 Address the whole conference, please. Address the whole conference, please.
662 00:56:55,903 00:56:57,979 Oh... Oh...
663 00:57:07,748 00:57:10,535 Go on. You can do it. Go on. You can do it.
664 00:57:10,625 00:57:15,833 The final open spot of the morning is the delegate from Knappely. The final open spot of the morning is the delegate from Knappely.
665 00:57:15,922 00:57:17,998 - Knapely. - Knapely. - Knapely. - Knapely.
666 00:57:23,346 00:57:25,422 I... I...
667 00:57:26,433 00:57:28,259 Uh... Uh...
668 00:57:28,351 00:57:34,603 We wanted to come to ask approval from... We wanted to come to ask approval from...
669 00:57:36,859 00:57:38,935 well, from you all. well, from you all.
670 00:57:40,988 00:57:45,567 We want to do a WI calendar We want to do a WI calendar
671 00:57:45,660 00:57:49,907 which raises enough money to buy, um... which raises enough money to buy, um...
672 00:57:51,290 00:57:56,036 a chair or a seat, a sofa, or... a chair or a seat, a sofa, or...
673 00:57:56,921 00:58:00,005 well, anything, really... well, anything, really...
674 00:58:05,721 00:58:07,797 Sorry. Sorry.
675 00:58:12,603 00:58:14,394 Um... Um...
676 00:58:14,480 00:58:17,896 OK, so, the thing is here, OK, so, the thing is here,
677 00:58:17,983 00:58:23,439 is that the hospital local to us in Knapely is where my John... is that the hospital local to us in Knapely is where my John...
678 00:58:26,408 00:58:28,484 where... where...
679 00:58:31,663 00:58:33,739 my husband... my husband...
680 00:58:40,797 00:58:44,380 Thank you. Knapely, best of luck with the settee. Now... Thank you. Knapely, best of luck with the settee. Now...
681 00:58:44,467 00:58:48,002 No, no, no. Just hold on. Just hold on a minute with your red light. No, no, no. Just hold on. Just hold on a minute with your red light.
682 00:58:48,096 00:58:52,046 Sorry, does the other member from Knapely want to say something? Sorry, does the other member from Knapely want to say something?
683 00:58:52,142 00:58:55,345 Yes, because she's about to commit heresy. Yes, because she's about to commit heresy.
684 00:58:56,354 00:58:58,845 Hello. Here we go. Hello. Here we go.
685 00:59:00,275 00:59:04,023 - Oh, God. - Look, I hate plum jam. - Oh, God. - Look, I hate plum jam.
686 00:59:04,112 00:59:06,519 [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER]
687 00:59:07,949 00:59:10,819 I only joined the WI to make my mother happy. I only joined the WI to make my mother happy.
688 00:59:10,910 00:59:15,619 I do, I hate plum jam. I'm crap at cakes, I can't make sponge. I do, I hate plum jam. I'm crap at cakes, I can't make sponge.
689 00:59:15,706 00:59:20,000 In fact, seeing as it's unlikely that George Clooney would actually come to Skipton In fact, seeing as it's unlikely that George Clooney would actually come to Skipton
690 00:59:20,086 00:59:22,458 to do a talk on what it was like to be in ER, to do a talk on what it was like to be in ER,
691 00:59:22,546 00:59:26,591 there seems very little reason for me to actually stay in the WI. there seems very little reason for me to actually stay in the WI.
692 00:59:26,675 00:59:33,674 Except suddenly... suddenly I want to raise money in memory of a man I loved, Except suddenly... suddenly I want to raise money in memory of a man I loved,
693 00:59:33,766 00:59:37,514 and to do that I'm prepared to take me clothes off for a WI calendar, and to do that I'm prepared to take me clothes off for a WI calendar,
694 00:59:37,603 00:59:41,470 and if you can't give us 10 minutes of your time, Madam Chairman, and if you can't give us 10 minutes of your time, Madam Chairman,
695 00:59:41,565 00:59:45,515 well then, frankly, guys, I'm going to do it without council approval. well then, frankly, guys, I'm going to do it without council approval.
696 00:59:45,611 00:59:50,652 Because there are some things that are more important than council approval. Because there are some things that are more important than council approval.
697 00:59:50,741 00:59:54,608 And if it means that we get closer to killing off And if it means that we get closer to killing off
698 00:59:54,703 01:00:01,915 this shitty, cheating, sly, conniving bloody disease that cancer is, this shitty, cheating, sly, conniving bloody disease that cancer is,
699 01:00:02,002 01:00:06,580 oh, God, I tell you, I'd run round Skipton market naked, smeared in plum jam, oh, God, I tell you, I'd run round Skipton market naked, smeared in plum jam,
700 01:00:06,673 01:00:13,506 wearing nothing but a knitted tea cosy on me head and singing "Jerusalem". wearing nothing but a knitted tea cosy on me head and singing "Jerusalem".
701 01:00:25,400 01:00:27,772 Let's break. Let's break.
702 01:00:27,861 01:00:30,233 10 minutes. 10 minutes.
703 01:00:44,168 01:00:47,122 We don't do nudity. We don't do nudity.
704 01:00:47,213 01:00:51,791 But we do do charity. Can I assume this is a local fundraiser But we do do charity. Can I assume this is a local fundraiser
705 01:00:51,884 01:00:54,968 and you're not gonna be making too big a hoo-ha out of it? and you're not gonna be making too big a hoo-ha out of it?
706 01:00:55,054 01:00:57,627 In which case, it's a branch matter, In which case, it's a branch matter,
707 01:00:57,723 01:01:02,930 and I can leave any decision in the hands of your branch president. and I can leave any decision in the hands of your branch president.
708 01:01:03,020 01:01:05,096 - Thank you. - Thank you. - Thank you. - Thank you.
709 01:01:11,153 01:01:13,229 Oh, sod it. Go on, then. Oh, sod it. Go on, then.
710 01:01:25,751 01:01:29,831 Evening News? Morning Herald? Did you invite the journalist from the Gazette? Evening News? Morning Herald? Did you invite the journalist from the Gazette?
711 01:01:29,921 01:01:34,299 - ANNIE: Yes. - Actually, so did I. Here we go. - ANNIE: Yes. - Actually, so did I. Here we go.
712 01:01:34,384 01:01:37,504 ANNIE: Thank you. Keep the change. ANNIE: Thank you. Keep the change.
713 01:01:38,555 01:01:41,307 Oh, my God. It's half past. Come on. Oh, my God. It's half past. Come on.
714 01:01:41,391 01:01:44,558 The girls will have done half the press conference by now. The girls will have done half the press conference by now.
715 01:01:44,644 01:01:48,476 Right, where are we? I think it's down here. Come on. Right, where are we? I think it's down here. Come on.
716 01:02:04,330 01:02:10,285 How many press releases did I send out? How many sodding press releases? How many press releases did I send out? How many sodding press releases?
717 01:02:10,378 01:02:15,336 Bloody local paper! What bigger than this has happened in Knapely tonight? Bloody local paper! What bigger than this has happened in Knapely tonight?
718 01:02:15,424 01:02:19,671 Oh, don't tell me. Someone's grown a U-shaped marrow. Oh, don't tell me. Someone's grown a U-shaped marrow.
719 01:02:22,765 01:02:25,968 We're going to lose money, aren't we? We're going to lose money, aren't we?
720 01:02:26,936 01:02:31,847 Not only are we not going to raise it, we're actually going to lose it. Not only are we not going to raise it, we're actually going to lose it.
721 01:02:31,941 01:02:36,935 Well, I suppose we did promise it wouldn't be a big hoo-ha. Well, I suppose we did promise it wouldn't be a big hoo-ha.
722 01:02:37,029 01:02:39,318 We tried. We tried.
723 01:02:39,406 01:02:42,609 At least you made that speech. At least you made that speech.
724 01:02:42,701 01:02:45,821 Yeah. Well, it's not enough, Annie. Yeah. Well, it's not enough, Annie.
725 01:02:49,082 01:02:51,953 I'd rather not have tried than have to face Marie and say I'd rather not have tried than have to face Marie and say
726 01:02:52,044 01:02:58,711 "Oh, no. Actually, yes, you were right." "It was another one of Chris's ideas." "Oh, no. Actually, yes, you were right." "It was another one of Chris's ideas."
727 01:02:59,718 01:03:02,469 "And what's worse" - this is a good one - "And what's worse" - this is a good one -
728 01:03:02,554 01:03:06,801 "to add insult to injury, I took me clothes off" "and no one was interested." "to add insult to injury, I took me clothes off" "and no one was interested."
729 01:03:06,892 01:03:09,679 - You after the WI thing? - Yes. - You after the WI thing? - Yes.
730 01:03:09,769 01:03:12,521 Had to spill over. They're in t'ballroom. Had to spill over. They're in t'ballroom.
731 01:03:20,780 01:03:24,612 CELIA: ...giving the game away to say we did have the odd glass of wine. CELIA: ...giving the game away to say we did have the odd glass of wine.
732 01:03:24,701 01:03:27,108 Oh, here they are! Oh, here they are!
733 01:03:29,163 01:03:32,782 ["SLOOP JOHN B" INSTRUMENTAL VERSION] ["SLOOP JOHN B" INSTRUMENTAL VERSION]
734 01:04:43,403 01:04:45,976 - Chris! - Chris, can you...? - Chris! - Chris, can you...?
735 01:04:46,739 01:04:48,282 CHRIS: Ooh! Ooh! CHRIS: Ooh! Ooh!
736 01:04:53,788 01:04:56,908 You're nude in The Telegraph, dear. You're nude in The Telegraph, dear.
737 01:04:59,627 01:05:02,332 Can you pass the bacon? Can you pass the bacon?
738 01:05:24,485 01:05:27,190 - Open up, Maya, love, will ya? - I have, Mum. - Open up, Maya, love, will ya? - I have, Mum.
739 01:05:27,279 01:05:29,355 We're full. We're full.
740 01:05:37,039 01:05:38,866 [LAUGHS] [LAUGHS]
741 01:05:38,957 01:05:44,248 One minute the dressing gown was on, and the next it was just me and the hat. One minute the dressing gown was on, and the next it was just me and the hat.
742 01:05:44,338 01:05:46,710 I'm here in the Yorkshire village of Knapely, I'm here in the Yorkshire village of Knapely,
743 01:05:46,798 01:05:49,918 where the Women's Institute have not only been raising money, where the Women's Institute have not only been raising money,
744 01:05:50,010 01:05:53,177 but raising eyebrows by stripping for a charity calendar. but raising eyebrows by stripping for a charity calendar.
745 01:05:53,263 01:05:55,754 I'm thinking of taking it up professionally. I'm thinking of taking it up professionally.
746 01:05:55,849 01:05:57,509 What's your family think? What's your family think?
747 01:05:57,601 01:06:02,642 I was worried my daughter would be embarrassed, but she talked me into it. I was worried my daughter would be embarrassed, but she talked me into it.
748 01:06:02,731 01:06:05,435 Any magazine offers? Any magazine offers?
749 01:06:05,525 01:06:07,601 It's his village, is Knapely. It's his village, is Knapely.
750 01:06:07,694 01:06:10,185 House he grew up in was in Embsay Lane. House he grew up in was in Embsay Lane.
751 01:06:10,280 01:06:15,155 And that church up there is where we got married. Hiya, Jessie! And that church up there is where we got married. Hiya, Jessie!
752 01:06:15,243 01:06:18,493 Sorry. Sorry. Miss September. Sorry. Sorry. Miss September.
753 01:06:18,580 01:06:21,865 It's done me the world of good. It's done me the world of good.
754 01:06:24,585 01:06:28,168 - So, Chris, what gave you the idea? - [DOOR BELL] - So, Chris, what gave you the idea? - [DOOR BELL]
755 01:06:28,256 01:06:30,083 Excuse me. Excuse me.
756 01:06:32,218 01:06:37,212 Hello, dear. I brought my journalists to meet your journalists. Hello, dear. I brought my journalists to meet your journalists.
757 01:06:38,057 01:06:40,299 Hello. Hello.
758 01:06:40,393 01:06:44,556 ...to... to... to develop ideas and to have them... ...to... to... to develop ideas and to have them...
759 01:06:44,647 01:06:50,187 You know, after all, the WI is about education and empowerment of women. You know, after all, the WI is about education and empowerment of women.
760 01:06:50,277 01:06:52,317 It's not just jam and "Jerusalem". It's not just jam and "Jerusalem".
761 01:06:52,404 01:06:55,239 The WI nude calendar? The WI nude calendar?
762 01:06:55,324 01:06:57,613 No, love, sorry. No, love, sorry.
763 01:06:57,701 01:07:01,035 But I definitely sent you a batch of 50. But I definitely sent you a batch of 50.
764 01:07:01,121 01:07:04,455 Look. Look, Minstergate Bookshop, York. 50. Look. Look, Minstergate Bookshop, York. 50.
765 01:07:04,541 01:07:07,910 And I got 'em, love, and I put 'em out at nine o'clock, And I got 'em, love, and I put 'em out at nine o'clock,
766 01:07:08,003 01:07:11,004 and at ten past nine we'd sold out. and at ten past nine we'd sold out.
767 01:07:14,968 01:07:17,673 Thanks very much. Thank you! Thanks very much. Thank you!
768 01:07:19,306 01:07:21,879 Annie! Annie!
769 01:07:22,100 01:07:23,892 Annie! Annie!
770 01:07:24,936 01:07:30,606 We've got to order more calendars! We're down to the last 25. We've got to order more calendars! We're down to the last 25.
771 01:07:32,527 01:07:35,861 - What is it? - They were waiting for me. - What is it? - They were waiting for me.
772 01:07:35,947 01:07:38,652 - Who? - When I got back. - Who? - When I got back.
773 01:07:47,125 01:07:49,746 Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
774 01:07:52,005 01:07:54,377 Read this, Chris. Read this, Chris.
775 01:08:00,847 01:08:04,381 It's happened to them, just like it's happened to me. It's happened to them, just like it's happened to me.
776 01:08:05,351 01:08:07,427 I'm going to help them. I'm going to help them.
777 01:08:10,731 01:08:16,236 And your photo made me smile for the first time in 15 months. And your photo made me smile for the first time in 15 months.
778 01:08:16,320 01:08:20,270 Now I smile whenever I see the calendar. Now I smile whenever I see the calendar.
779 01:08:20,366 01:08:23,984 Thank you, girls, for your bravery and beauty. Thank you, girls, for your bravery and beauty.
780 01:08:24,078 01:08:26,236 Best wishes, Vera Mason. Best wishes, Vera Mason.
781 01:08:26,330 01:08:29,284 It reminded me so of Eileen. It reminded me so of Eileen.
782 01:08:29,375 01:08:32,874 You seemed to have the same spirit she had. You seemed to have the same spirit she had.
783 01:08:32,961 01:08:36,876 I know she would have howled with laughter at your photographs. I know she would have howled with laughter at your photographs.
784 01:08:36,965 01:08:40,381 Thank you again. Looking forward to the next. Thank you again. Looking forward to the next.
785 01:08:43,972 01:08:49,512 I'm currently in the high security wing of Her Majesty's Prison Barlinnie in Scotland, I'm currently in the high security wing of Her Majesty's Prison Barlinnie in Scotland,
786 01:08:49,603 01:08:54,478 and was mightily impressed by the sheer size of your... and was mightily impressed by the sheer size of your...
787 01:08:58,111 01:09:00,187 It's on! Look! It's on! It's on! Look! It's on!
788 01:09:02,532 01:09:05,201 ...has been speaking to the instigator ...has been speaking to the instigator
789 01:09:05,285 01:09:09,579 of the world's first nude WI calendar, Chris Harper. of the world's first nude WI calendar, Chris Harper.
790 01:09:09,664 01:09:12,416 REPORTER: So, Chris, tell us how it all came about, REPORTER: So, Chris, tell us how it all came about,
791 01:09:12,500 01:09:16,580 cos you wouldn't normally associate the Women's Institute with nudity. cos you wouldn't normally associate the Women's Institute with nudity.
792 01:09:16,671 01:09:22,341 No, the usual image of the WI calendar is of plums and jam and country views. No, the usual image of the WI calendar is of plums and jam and country views.
793 01:09:22,427 01:09:26,507 We thought if glamour photographers can do it on a beach in Bangkok, We thought if glamour photographers can do it on a beach in Bangkok,
794 01:09:26,597 01:09:30,677 we can do it in a church hall near Skipton. we can do it in a church hall near Skipton.
795 01:09:35,731 01:09:37,439 Fantastic. Fantastic.
796 01:09:41,445 01:09:43,936 I was trying to get in there. I was trying to get in there.
797 01:09:45,491 01:09:47,816 Middle age didn't put them off stripping off, Middle age didn't put them off stripping off,
798 01:09:47,910 01:09:51,361 and now these women are hogging the headlines across the north. and now these women are hogging the headlines across the north.
799 01:09:51,455 01:09:56,496 Chris Harper's behind it. Rather than fall back on the usual twee landscape scenes, Chris Harper's behind it. Rather than fall back on the usual twee landscape scenes,
800 01:09:56,585 01:10:00,962 she talked her friends into posing nude for the local Women's Institute calendar. she talked her friends into posing nude for the local Women's Institute calendar.
801 01:10:01,048 01:10:04,962 Not quite the jam and "Jerusalem" the ladies are usually known for. Not quite the jam and "Jerusalem" the ladies are usually known for.
802 01:10:05,052 01:10:09,263 Chris says their husbands will never look at their wives in the same way again. Chris says their husbands will never look at their wives in the same way again.
803 01:10:09,348 01:10:15,552 Neither will the other members of this quiet little Dales community. Neither will the other members of this quiet little Dales community.
804 01:11:06,654 01:11:09,026 - Where you going? - It's Thursday. - Where you going? - It's Thursday.
805 01:11:09,115 01:11:11,819 But you just got back from the conference. But you just got back from the conference.
806 01:11:11,909 01:11:16,535 - Eddie, I've got a surprise for you. - I've had it. - Eddie, I've got a surprise for you. - I've had it.
807 01:11:16,622 01:11:19,955 I got it when someone turned round in t'petrol queue and said I got it when someone turned round in t'petrol queue and said
808 01:11:20,042 01:11:23,375 Isn’t this tart with her tits out your wife? Isn’t this tart with her tits out your wife?
809 01:11:30,302 01:11:32,378 Eddie. Eddie.
810 01:11:33,013 01:11:36,548 Eddie, I didn't do it just to... I just... Eddie, I didn't do it just to... I just...
811 01:11:36,642 01:11:38,718 Eddie! Eddie!
812 01:11:45,525 01:11:47,981 - Burston wedding today. - Morning, Jem. - Burston wedding today. - Morning, Jem.
813 01:11:48,069 01:11:51,070 - I'm Gaz. - And we've got another order. - I'm Gaz. - And we've got another order.
814 01:11:51,156 01:11:55,450 It's a massive order, Chris. Guy's comin' round at 4.30. It's a massive order, Chris. Guy's comin' round at 4.30.
815 01:11:55,535 01:11:57,777 Got a meeting. Got a meeting.
816 01:11:57,871 01:12:00,243 - When are you back? - Later. Bye! - When are you back? - Later. Bye!
817 01:12:00,332 01:12:02,407 When later? When later?
818 01:12:03,501 01:12:05,209 Anyone seen Jem? Anyone seen Jem?
819 01:12:09,883 01:12:13,168 Normally more than one of you, is there? Normally more than one of you, is there?
820 01:12:13,261 01:12:15,337 Aye. Sorry. Aye. Sorry.
821 01:12:16,431 01:12:20,974 But my wife, she's a bit busy at the moment. But my wife, she's a bit busy at the moment.
822 01:12:21,060 01:12:23,136 - Kids? - No. - Kids? - No.
823 01:12:24,480 01:12:29,771 It's some WI calendar thing she's organised. She's on a chat show. It's some WI calendar thing she's organised. She's on a chat show.
824 01:12:29,860 01:12:32,980 Not the calendar? The nude one? Not the calendar? The nude one?
825 01:12:33,072 01:12:34,732 Aye. Aye.
826 01:12:34,824 01:12:39,320 We just bought one. My wife came home. Seriously, it's fantastic. We just bought one. My wife came home. Seriously, it's fantastic.
827 01:12:39,412 01:12:41,653 I'll tell her. I'll tell her.
828 01:12:41,747 01:12:45,959 So, I've bought flowers off Mr... So, I've bought flowers off Mr...
829 01:12:46,043 01:12:48,748 Come on, then, which one is she? Come on, then, which one is she?
830 01:12:49,755 01:12:51,831 January. January.
831 01:12:51,924 01:12:56,171 Suppose you're getting sick of all this, are you? Suppose you're getting sick of all this, are you?
832 01:12:59,765 01:13:02,338 GAZ: Oi, give us some of that. GAZ: Oi, give us some of that.
833 01:13:07,689 01:13:08,720 Ugh. Ugh.
834 01:13:08,815 01:13:12,433 I thought I'd find you here. You all right? I thought I'd find you here. You all right?
835 01:13:14,488 01:13:16,776 You got any money? You got any money?
836 01:13:16,865 01:13:21,242 What is funny, between you and me, some of the blokes... What is funny, between you and me, some of the blokes...
837 01:13:21,328 01:13:26,073 Frank, his wife would hardly undress in front of him before. Frank, his wife would hardly undress in front of him before.
838 01:13:26,166 01:13:30,413 And now, apparently, you know... And now, apparently, you know...
839 01:13:35,133 01:13:42,263 I was saying, it's not had that effect in our bedroom, I can tell ya. Hardly see her. I was saying, it's not had that effect in our bedroom, I can tell ya. Hardly see her.
840 01:13:42,890 01:13:46,342 Sorry, I can't resist this. Mr. January. Sorry, I can't resist this. Mr. January.
841 01:13:46,436 01:13:48,309 You don't mind, do you? You don't mind, do you?
842 01:13:48,396 01:13:52,524 Aye. As long as I don't have to take me clothes off. Aye. As long as I don't have to take me clothes off.
843 01:13:55,903 01:14:01,490 - ♪ I will not cease from mental fight ♪ - [PHONE RINGS] - ♪ I will not cease from mental fight ♪ - [PHONE RINGS]
844 01:14:01,575 01:14:07,411 ♪ Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand ♪ ♪ Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand ♪
845 01:14:07,498 01:14:13,583 ♪ Till we have built Jerusalem ♪ ♪ Till we have built Jerusalem ♪
846 01:14:13,671 01:14:16,541 CHRIS: I'll tell ya. It's unbelievable. CHRIS: I'll tell ya. It's unbelievable.
847 01:14:16,632 01:14:21,543 Well, for the last two hours, I have been exchanging phone calls... Well, for the last two hours, I have been exchanging phone calls...
848 01:14:22,930 01:14:24,424 with Hollywood. with Hollywood.
849 01:14:24,515 01:14:26,175 What, the real one? What, the real one?
850 01:14:26,266 01:14:29,718 No, Celia. The chocolate one. Yes, the real one. No, Celia. The chocolate one. Yes, the real one.
851 01:14:29,811 01:14:31,804 From who? From who?
852 01:14:31,897 01:14:36,226 From the studio of a show with a man whose name I've forgotten. From the studio of a show with a man whose name I've forgotten.
853 01:14:36,318 01:14:39,235 They're not coming all the way from America? They're not coming all the way from America?
854 01:14:39,321 01:14:40,649 No. No.
855 01:14:40,739 01:14:42,945 They're going to do it on the phone? They're going to do it on the phone?
856 01:14:43,033 01:14:47,030 No. They only do face-to-face interviews. No. They only do face-to-face interviews.
857 01:14:47,120 01:14:50,619 If they won't come here and won't do it on the phone, how are they... If they won't come here and won't do it on the phone, how are they...
858 01:14:50,707 01:14:53,245 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
859 01:14:53,335 01:14:55,826 We're going to Hollywood. We're going to Hollywood.
860 01:14:58,798 01:15:00,590 You're joking. You're joking.
861 01:15:01,801 01:15:04,292 Reynoldson, with a Y. Reynoldson, with a Y.
862 01:15:06,431 01:15:08,719 Oh, he's there. Oh, he's there.
863 01:15:08,808 01:15:12,972 Oh, please. Could you put me through to his room? Oh, please. Could you put me through to his room?
864 01:15:18,192 01:15:20,268 Eddie? Eddie?
865 01:15:27,326 01:15:29,817 [GIGGLING] [GIGGLING]
866 01:15:30,705 01:15:35,995 [GRUFF ACCENT] "Your toilet was broken, but I've fixed it now." [GRUFF ACCENT] "Your toilet was broken, but I've fixed it now."
867 01:15:38,170 01:15:40,044 All right, lads. All right, lads.
868 01:15:41,757 01:15:46,882 - Can I help you, Officer? - You can put that joint out for a start. - Can I help you, Officer? - You can put that joint out for a start.
869 01:15:52,935 01:15:57,015 - Hollywood? - It's not for fun. It's really important. - Hollywood? - It's not for fun. It's really important.
870 01:15:57,105 01:16:01,684 I mean, if we get on the telly in America, it's fantastic publicity. I mean, if we get on the telly in America, it's fantastic publicity.
871 01:16:01,777 01:16:05,525 I mean, just imagine, the whole of America. I mean, just imagine, the whole of America.
872 01:16:06,865 01:16:10,732 What about our business, Chris? Or is that not important? What about our business, Chris? Or is that not important?
873 01:16:13,038 01:16:15,161 [PHONE RINGS] [PHONE RINGS]
874 01:16:21,171 01:16:23,247 Can you get that? Can you get that?
875 01:16:25,759 01:16:27,835 I'm in a meeting. I'm in a meeting.
876 01:16:27,927 01:16:30,003 Hello. Flower-Power. Hello. Flower-Power.
877 01:16:33,850 01:16:37,468 It won't be anything serious. He'll be all right. It won't be anything serious. He'll be all right.
878 01:16:39,188 01:16:41,514 - They're not charging him. - Oh, thank God. - They're not charging him. - Oh, thank God.
879 01:16:41,607 01:16:43,683 Is it not illegal then? Is it not illegal then?
880 01:16:43,776 01:16:48,153 Well, cannabis is, but they tend not to worry too much about oregano. Well, cannabis is, but they tend not to worry too much about oregano.
881 01:16:48,239 01:16:51,109 Right, right. Right, right.
882 01:16:52,326 01:16:56,075 Oh, Jem, you stupid... you stupid... Oh, Jem, you stupid... you stupid...
883 01:16:56,163 01:16:59,698 - Thanks, Mum. - Jem... - Thanks, Mum. - Jem...
884 01:16:59,792 01:17:02,413 I'll go. We've already had a little father-and-son. I'll go. We've already had a little father-and-son.
885 01:17:02,503 01:17:06,038 Anyway, you've got to sign something before we can go. Anyway, you've got to sign something before we can go.
886 01:17:06,131 01:17:09,666 - Jem! - Would you like to come this way? - Jem! - Would you like to come this way?
887 01:17:09,760 01:17:13,840 Yes, all right. Oh, thanks. Yes, all right. Oh, thanks.
888 01:17:25,651 01:17:28,438 - Thanks very much. - Good night. - Thanks very much. - Good night.
889 01:17:29,738 01:17:31,814 Where is it? Where the hell is it? Where is it? Where the hell is it?
890 01:17:31,907 01:17:34,480 Ah, passport. Ah, passport.
891 01:17:35,994 01:17:38,532 I'm hoping they'll let me in with a few calendars. I'm hoping they'll let me in with a few calendars.
892 01:17:38,622 01:17:42,406 After we've been on American telly, we might be able to shift a few. After we've been on American telly, we might be able to shift a few.
893 01:17:42,501 01:17:46,166 No, wait a minute. The holidays are all different there, aren't they? No, wait a minute. The holidays are all different there, aren't they?
894 01:17:46,254 01:17:51,794 Well, maybe we'll have to do a reprint. You know, the American version. Well, maybe we'll have to do a reprint. You know, the American version.
895 01:17:51,885 01:17:53,712 So... So...
896 01:17:53,803 01:17:56,341 Your son's been arrested. Your son's been arrested.
897 01:17:57,765 01:17:59,675 Yes, I know. Yes, I know.
898 01:17:59,767 01:18:03,053 And released, Annie, with 10g of oregano. And released, Annie, with 10g of oregano.
899 01:18:03,146 01:18:06,728 The only thing that'd be dangerous in is a quiche. The only thing that'd be dangerous in is a quiche.
900 01:18:06,816 01:18:10,648 But he thought it was drugs, Chris. But he thought it was drugs, Chris.
901 01:18:10,737 01:18:14,734 Do you want to stay? Find out why? Do you want to stay? Find out why?
902 01:18:18,202 01:18:20,278 Yes, I do, obviously, but... Yes, I do, obviously, but...
903 01:18:23,332 01:18:27,377 The woman in the studio contacted me. I'm the one who... The woman in the studio contacted me. I'm the one who...
904 01:18:27,461 01:18:30,332 Chris, Chris, we can cope. Chris, Chris, we can cope.
905 01:18:31,632 01:18:34,419 We're big girls. We're big girls.
906 01:18:34,510 01:18:37,215 Particularly Celia. Particularly Celia.
907 01:19:10,837 01:19:12,913 Hello. Hello.
908 01:19:13,965 01:19:17,417 I was wondering if you could quote me for some carpets. I was wondering if you could quote me for some carpets.
909 01:19:19,262 01:19:24,469 You do sell carpets? You are the owner of a carpet warehouse? You do sell carpets? You are the owner of a carpet warehouse?
910 01:19:24,559 01:19:27,346 - Sorry. I'm with someone. - I know. - Sorry. I'm with someone. - I know.
911 01:19:27,437 01:19:30,438 My husband. My husband.
912 01:19:33,192 01:19:38,435 I just came to Ilkley to see what I wasn't as good as. I just came to Ilkley to see what I wasn't as good as.
913 01:19:39,699 01:19:42,154 OK. Well, you've done that now. OK. Well, you've done that now.
914 01:19:44,453 01:19:48,996 He told me you were the manager of a carpet warehouse. He told me you were the manager of a carpet warehouse.
915 01:19:49,083 01:19:51,574 He told me you were dead. He told me you were dead.
916 01:19:54,088 01:19:57,042 I think maybe I have been. I think maybe I have been.
917 01:19:57,133 01:19:59,421 You are looking good, baby. You are looking good, baby.
918 01:19:59,510 01:20:04,670 Sorry. Which one of us are you talking about, Eddie? Sorry. Which one of us are you talking about, Eddie?
919 01:20:04,765 01:20:09,890 The one that makes a tart of herself by taking her clothes off, or me? The one that makes a tart of herself by taking her clothes off, or me?
920 01:20:09,979 01:20:12,185 Sod off. Eddie? Sod off. Eddie?
921 01:20:12,272 01:20:16,140 No, no. You stay and enjoy yourselves. No, no. You stay and enjoy yourselves.
922 01:20:16,235 01:20:18,726 I'm off to Hollywood. I'm off to Hollywood.
923 01:20:21,657 01:20:23,733 Eddie? Eddie?
924 01:20:27,245 01:20:30,579 Sorry I'm late! Frank was so slow. Sorry I'm late! Frank was so slow.
925 01:20:30,665 01:20:33,832 Bloody hell, Celia! How many frocks? Bloody hell, Celia! How many frocks?
926 01:20:33,919 01:20:39,873 ...or you'll be flooded out. And if anything goes wrong, phone your Auntie Sophie. ...or you'll be flooded out. And if anything goes wrong, phone your Auntie Sophie.
927 01:20:40,508 01:20:43,213 CORA: You going to say "Don't do anything I wouldn't do?" CORA: You going to say "Don't do anything I wouldn't do?"
928 01:20:43,303 01:20:45,675 You already have, Mam. You already have, Mam.
929 01:20:45,764 01:20:48,089 Right, everyone. Has everyone got a ticket? Right, everyone. Has everyone got a ticket?
930 01:20:48,183 01:20:49,807 Yes. Yes.
931 01:20:49,893 01:20:51,850 - A passport? - Yes. - A passport? - Yes.
932 01:20:51,936 01:20:54,143 A lying snake for a husband? A lying snake for a husband?
933 01:20:55,481 01:20:57,770 No? Only me there, then. No? Only me there, then.
934 01:20:58,443 01:21:00,519 Let's go! Let's go!
935 01:21:01,279 01:21:02,856 Come on. Come on.
936 01:21:04,365 01:21:08,315 Hollywood, please, on your shiniest plane. Hollywood, please, on your shiniest plane.
937 01:21:12,540 01:21:16,490 Sorry, ladies. You've come to the wrong desk. Sorry, ladies. You've come to the wrong desk.
938 01:21:19,755 01:21:21,629 I have asked four people. I have asked four people.
939 01:21:21,716 01:21:25,665 Each of them said we could check in for the flight to Los Angeles at any desk. Each of them said we could check in for the flight to Los Angeles at any desk.
940 01:21:25,761 01:21:28,762 We have queued for 20 minutes in the only queue, We have queued for 20 minutes in the only queue,
941 01:21:28,848 01:21:32,014 and we were directed to your desk by your representative. and we were directed to your desk by your representative.
942 01:21:32,101 01:21:35,102 Where precisely have we gone wrong? Where precisely have we gone wrong?
943 01:21:35,187 01:21:38,556 There was no need to queue, madam. You're all flying upper class. There was no need to queue, madam. You're all flying upper class.
944 01:21:38,649 01:21:43,026 - You've been upgraded. - We're going first class! - You've been upgraded. - We're going first class!
945 01:21:45,572 01:21:48,988 - I can check you in here if you like. - Thank you, dear. - I can check you in here if you like. - Thank you, dear.
946 01:21:49,076 01:21:52,195 What a nice girl. I knew she was a nice girl. What a nice girl. I knew she was a nice girl.
947 01:21:55,916 01:22:00,957 - Celia, press the white button on the right. - I am doing. - Celia, press the white button on the right. - I am doing.
948 01:22:01,046 01:22:04,913 - On the right. The white one. - Bye-bye! - On the right. The white one. - Bye-bye!
949 01:22:05,008 01:22:08,922 - Cheerio. I'm going right under you, Celia. - Fantastic. - Cheerio. I'm going right under you, Celia. - Fantastic.
950 01:22:12,641 01:22:15,345 I got my foot stuck now. Ow! I got my foot stuck now. Ow!
951 01:23:31,218 01:23:33,294 RUTH: Where are we, Cora? RUTH: Where are we, Cora?
952 01:23:33,386 01:23:36,221 - Hey, this is Sunset Strip! - No! - Hey, this is Sunset Strip! - No!
953 01:23:44,522 01:23:47,559 - Cheerio, gals. I'll see you later. - What are you doing? - Cheerio, gals. I'll see you later. - What are you doing?
954 01:23:47,650 01:23:50,272 - I'm going up. - Be careful. - I'm going up. - Be careful.
955 01:23:50,361 01:23:52,437 It's lovely. Come up. It's lovely. Come up.
956 01:23:57,160 01:23:59,698 Hollywood! We're here! Hollywood! We're here!
957 01:23:59,787 01:24:01,946 Get down! Stop messing about. Get down! Stop messing about.
958 01:24:17,722 01:24:21,470 - Good afternoon, ladies. - Thank you, Ashley, I'll handle this. - Good afternoon, ladies. - Thank you, Ashley, I'll handle this.
959 01:24:21,559 01:24:23,966 Good afternoon. Welcome to Los Angeles. Good afternoon. Welcome to Los Angeles.
960 01:24:24,061 01:24:27,679 - It's our first time here. - Is that right? - It's our first time here. - Is that right?
961 01:24:27,773 01:24:31,308 - Clarke. The name's Clarke. - Mrs. Clarke. - Clarke. The name's Clarke. - Mrs. Clarke.
962 01:24:31,402 01:24:34,106 Or should I call you Miss February? Or should I call you Miss February?
963 01:24:35,280 01:24:39,112 I saw your picture in the paper this morning. I saw your picture in the paper this morning.
964 01:24:41,954 01:24:46,616 Thank you, ma'am. Now, I'll just talk you through the facilities, OK? Thank you, ma'am. Now, I'll just talk you through the facilities, OK?
965 01:24:46,708 01:24:47,989 Right. Right.
966 01:24:48,085 01:24:50,706 Now, there are two televisions, Now, there are two televisions,
967 01:24:50,796 01:24:53,832 one on each end, both of which have cable TV, one on each end, both of which have cable TV,
968 01:24:53,924 01:24:56,130 Internet access and movies on demand. Internet access and movies on demand.
969 01:24:56,218 01:24:58,756 Now, there's also a full bar here, Now, there's also a full bar here,
970 01:24:58,845 01:25:03,637 but if you need anything special, don't hesitate to call downstairs and we'll... but if you need anything special, don't hesitate to call downstairs and we'll...
971 01:25:03,725 01:25:06,809 - Is everything OK, ma'am? - Yeah, no, it's fine. - Is everything OK, ma'am? - Yeah, no, it's fine.
972 01:25:06,895 01:25:10,727 It's just I'm a bit tired. I'd like to go to my room now, really. It's just I'm a bit tired. I'd like to go to my room now, really.
973 01:25:10,815 01:25:15,442 This is the hotel's master suite, ma'am. This is your room. This is the hotel's master suite, ma'am. This is your room.
974 01:25:19,699 01:25:22,866 Come on, I'll show you downstairs. It's beautiful. Come on, I'll show you downstairs. It's beautiful.
975 01:25:22,952 01:25:27,281 [THE WAY YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO BY THE TEMPTATIONS] [THE WAY YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO BY THE TEMPTATIONS]
976 01:25:34,547 01:25:38,379 RUTH: Have you been in your bathroom? Me too! I'm in the bath! RUTH: Have you been in your bathroom? Me too! I'm in the bath!
977 01:25:38,467 01:25:43,213 And the bubbles, they're Christian Dior. The bath bubbles! They're Christian Dior! And the bubbles, they're Christian Dior. The bath bubbles! They're Christian Dior!
978 01:25:43,306 01:25:48,098 - Do you think they'll charge us for it? - I hope not! - Do you think they'll charge us for it? - I hope not!
979 01:26:18,965 01:26:23,010 Nice! Good. And then into the limo. Nice! Good. And then into the limo.
980 01:26:23,095 01:26:26,843 Into the limo. That's very good. No, no, it's great. Into the limo. That's very good. No, no, it's great.
981 01:26:26,932 01:26:31,640 - Let me have a shot with you and the girls. - No, no. We gotta go. - Let me have a shot with you and the girls. - No, no. We gotta go.
982 01:26:31,728 01:26:37,102 - Give him a kiss. Put your arm round him. - British women are taking me hostage. - Give him a kiss. Put your arm round him. - British women are taking me hostage.
983 01:26:40,695 01:26:43,400 Right. Right.
984 01:26:43,490 01:26:47,238 - What are we doing first, then, eh? - Chris! - What are we doing first, then, eh? - Chris!
985 01:26:48,369 01:26:51,156 I can't believe it! I can't believe it!
986 01:26:51,247 01:26:53,323 You look gorgeous! You look gorgeous!
987 01:27:19,942 01:27:25,363 PHOTOGRAPHER: Looking lovely! That's fantastic! OK! PHOTOGRAPHER: Looking lovely! That's fantastic! OK!
988 01:27:25,906 01:27:30,449 Great, ladies. OK, we got another section coming up. Great, ladies. OK, we got another section coming up.
989 01:27:30,536 01:27:33,702 - Hey! Hold it, guys. Hold it. - Bye-bye! Thank you. - Hey! Hold it, guys. Hold it. - Bye-bye! Thank you.
990 01:27:33,789 01:27:38,866 Ladies, please! We got a whole new section to do here! Come on. Ladies, please! We got a whole new section to do here! Come on.
991 01:27:38,961 01:27:41,037 Come on, ladies! Come on, ladies!
992 01:27:55,769 01:28:02,650 It's the cover page, and then four pages about how I don't give him sex any more. It's the cover page, and then four pages about how I don't give him sex any more.
993 01:28:02,734 01:28:07,811 I just had to get away. I mean, the press will be all over it by now. I just had to get away. I mean, the press will be all over it by now.
994 01:28:07,906 01:28:12,235 So Rod's having to deal with all that on his own, then, is he? So Rod's having to deal with all that on his own, then, is he?
995 01:28:12,327 01:28:15,031 Well, him and Jem. Well, him and Jem.
996 01:28:16,247 01:28:22,120 Slightly out of character, don't you think, for Rod, saying all that? Slightly out of character, don't you think, for Rod, saying all that?
997 01:28:22,211 01:28:25,212 Did he get tricked into it? Did he get tricked into it?
998 01:28:26,132 01:28:28,539 Did you stay to find out? Did you stay to find out?
999 01:28:29,594 01:28:33,009 Or by that time was there a taxi waiting? Or by that time was there a taxi waiting?
1000 01:28:33,848 01:28:37,976 - Are you all right? - Oh, yeah. I'm fine. - Are you all right? - Oh, yeah. I'm fine.
1001 01:28:38,060 01:28:41,014 Annie, Chris. This is Frank, Scott and John. Annie, Chris. This is Frank, Scott and John.
1002 01:28:41,105 01:28:44,604 - They're in a band called Anthrax. - Hello. - They're in a band called Anthrax. - Hello.
1003 01:28:44,692 01:28:48,440 Heard so much about you. We're really impressed with what you're doing. Heard so much about you. We're really impressed with what you're doing.
1004 01:28:48,529 01:28:51,732 - It's a great story. - We haven't heard anything about you. - It's a great story. - We haven't heard anything about you.
1005 01:28:51,824 01:28:53,982 I have. I have.
1006 01:28:54,285 01:28:57,404 CHRIS: So, have you had a think about that, then? CHRIS: So, have you had a think about that, then?
1007 01:28:57,621 01:29:01,868 Yes. Well, yes. It would be in that ballpark, yes. Yes. Well, yes. It would be in that ballpark, yes.
1008 01:29:04,044 01:29:09,750 Well, you know what? Let me talk with my associates, and I'll get back to you. Bye. Well, you know what? Let me talk with my associates, and I'll get back to you. Bye.
1009 01:29:09,841 01:29:11,964 - Thank you. - ANNIE: Who was on the phone? - Thank you. - ANNIE: Who was on the phone?
1010 01:29:12,052 01:29:13,712 - Very exciting. - ANNIE: Who? - Very exciting. - ANNIE: Who?
1011 01:29:13,804 01:29:19,046 Very exciting. I'll tell you in make-up. We're dead close to a deal. Oh, look, that's him. Very exciting. I'll tell you in make-up. We're dead close to a deal. Oh, look, that's him.
1012 01:29:19,184 01:29:22,802 By the way, is it Lee-no or Leh-no? We've gotta get it right. By the way, is it Lee-no or Leh-no? We've gotta get it right.
1013 01:29:22,896 01:29:24,723 - Leh-no. - Are you sure? - Leh-no. - Are you sure?
1014 01:29:24,814 01:29:27,187 - No, I think it's Lee-no. - Leh-no. - No, I think it's Lee-no. - Leh-no.
1015 01:29:27,275 01:29:32,186 Not only will they sponsor the calendar in America to the tune of $30,000, Not only will they sponsor the calendar in America to the tune of $30,000,
1016 01:29:32,280 01:29:37,072 but guess who'll be filming in the studio next to the one we shoot the advert in? but guess who'll be filming in the studio next to the one we shoot the advert in?
1017 01:29:37,160 01:29:38,702 What? What?
1018 01:29:38,787 01:29:43,116 Guess who's filming in the studio next to the one we're going to shoot the advert in? Guess who's filming in the studio next to the one we're going to shoot the advert in?
1019 01:29:43,208 01:29:44,536 Advert? Advert?
1020 01:29:44,626 01:29:49,501 Well, they sponsor us, we do their advert for washing powder. That's how it works. Well, they sponsor us, we do their advert for washing powder. That's how it works.
1021 01:29:49,589 01:29:51,877 George Clooney. George Clooney.
1022 01:29:51,966 01:29:56,593 Can I have it straight like Jennifer Aniston? You know, in Friends. Can I have it straight like Jennifer Aniston? You know, in Friends.
1023 01:29:56,679 01:30:01,507 Why would I dye just part of my head? It doesn't make any sense. Why would I dye just part of my head? It doesn't make any sense.
1024 01:30:02,435 01:30:05,886 I do not dye my hair. You may have heard about my first guests. I do not dye my hair. You may have heard about my first guests.
1025 01:30:05,980 01:30:09,930 They went from living a quaint, peaceful life in a small British town They went from living a quaint, peaceful life in a small British town
1026 01:30:10,026 01:30:12,267 to becoming nude calendar girls. to becoming nude calendar girls.
1027 01:30:12,361 01:30:15,647 They're here tonight to tell us the story. This is the calendar. They're here tonight to tell us the story. This is the calendar.
1028 01:30:15,739 01:30:21,742 Please welcome, from Knapely, England, the Calendar Girls. Let's bring them out. Please welcome, from Knapely, England, the Calendar Girls. Let's bring them out.
1029 01:30:24,957 01:30:29,251 Hello, girls. How are you? How are you? Good to see you. Hello, girls. How are you? How are you? Good to see you.
1030 01:30:29,336 01:30:32,041 Everybody's here. Have a seat. Everybody's here. Have a seat.
1031 01:30:34,216 01:30:36,968 Oh, just sit anywhere. Oh, just sit anywhere.
1032 01:30:37,052 01:30:40,670 I'm curious. Have you girls been strippers all your lives? I'm curious. Have you girls been strippers all your lives?
1033 01:30:40,764 01:30:44,762 - We're not strippers. - JAY: Did you get drunk beforehand? - We're not strippers. - JAY: Did you get drunk beforehand?
1034 01:30:44,851 01:30:48,516 It was no big deal, you know. We've all got the same bits. It was no big deal, you know. We've all got the same bits.
1035 01:30:48,605 01:30:54,061 - The same bits? Yes. - CHRIS: They're just different sizes. - The same bits? Yes. - CHRIS: They're just different sizes.
1036 01:30:54,152 01:30:57,402 Can I have some of them rice things? Can I have some of them rice things?
1037 01:30:57,489 01:30:59,528 - It's called sushi. - I know. - It's called sushi. - I know.
1038 01:30:59,616 01:31:04,954 - It's all suggestive. - JAY: I could make a few suggestions. - It's all suggestive. - JAY: I could make a few suggestions.
1039 01:31:05,038 01:31:08,537 Well, ladies, it's fascinating. Good luck with your work. Well, ladies, it's fascinating. Good luck with your work.
1040 01:31:08,625 01:31:13,999 And, please, if you would just try to encourage more women to get naked. And, please, if you would just try to encourage more women to get naked.
1041 01:31:14,088 01:31:17,291 Thank you very much, the ladies of Knapely. Thank you very much, the ladies of Knapely.
1042 01:31:20,636 01:31:24,337 We do have to work some kind of order out when we're asked questions, We do have to work some kind of order out when we're asked questions,
1043 01:31:24,432 01:31:28,430 cos far too much of that you couldn't hear because everybody was talking. cos far too much of that you couldn't hear because everybody was talking.
1044 01:31:28,519 01:31:31,805 CHRIS: Annie? Annie? CHRIS: Annie? Annie?
1045 01:31:34,608 01:31:38,227 What are you doing? You missed it. What are you doing? You missed it.
1046 01:31:40,614 01:31:44,149 We were just on television, the whole reason we came here. We were just on television, the whole reason we came here.
1047 01:31:44,243 01:31:48,075 I thought that was to get away from the press. I thought that was to get away from the press.
1048 01:32:09,685 01:32:10,930 CHRIS: Hello? CHRIS: Hello?
1049 01:32:12,854 01:32:14,930 Hello? Hello?
1050 01:32:16,441 01:32:19,015 Is there anyone there? Is there anyone there?
1051 01:32:22,989 01:32:25,860 Ah, there they are! Ah, there they are!
1052 01:32:25,951 01:32:28,323 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
1053 01:32:28,411 01:32:31,911 Welcome, ladies. How are we today? Welcome, ladies. How are we today?
1054 01:32:31,998 01:32:34,536 - Fine. - Fantastic. Fabulendo. - Fine. - Fantastic. Fabulendo.
1055 01:32:34,626 01:32:40,130 My name is Danny. I'm the director. And which one of you is Chris? My name is Danny. I'm the director. And which one of you is Chris?
1056 01:32:41,341 01:32:43,582 You're Chris. You're Chris.
1057 01:32:43,676 01:32:47,674 Hi. Exciting, hm? Yeah, yeah. Hi. Exciting, hm? Yeah, yeah.
1058 01:32:47,764 01:32:54,347 OK, now, just to let you know, what I've done is cleared the studio of excess men. OK, now, just to let you know, what I've done is cleared the studio of excess men.
1059 01:32:54,437 01:32:56,061 That's a shame. That's a shame.
1060 01:32:56,147 01:33:00,974 I didn't want you walking around naked in front of a bunch of guys you didn't know. I didn't want you walking around naked in front of a bunch of guys you didn't know.
1061 01:33:01,068 01:33:02,942 Sorry? Sorry?
1062 01:33:03,904 01:33:10,192 We're doing the washing powder, right, hanging the washing on the line. We're doing the washing powder, right, hanging the washing on the line.
1063 01:33:10,286 01:33:12,362 And naked behind. And naked behind.
1064 01:33:13,372 01:33:16,124 I mean, there's not a problem with that, is there? I mean, there's not a problem with that, is there?
1065 01:33:16,208 01:33:18,995 It is what you girls do, isn't it? It is what you girls do, isn't it?
1066 01:33:22,172 01:33:24,877 - Yeah. - Yes. Great. - Yeah. - Yes. Great.
1067 01:33:44,194 01:33:46,981 Not now. I'm working. Go, go, go. Not now. I'm working. Go, go, go.
1068 01:33:48,490 01:33:51,823 Great! Beautiful! I love this! Great! Beautiful! I love this!
1069 01:33:54,412 01:33:58,457 Ladies, the time is now. Ladies, the time is now.
1070 01:34:01,461 01:34:03,833 Roxanne, Carol, hi. Roxanne, Carol, hi.
1071 01:34:03,922 01:34:07,373 - CAROL: Nice to see you. - Nice to see you. What do you think? - CAROL: Nice to see you. - Nice to see you. What do you think?
1072 01:34:07,467 01:34:10,836 - It's great. - DANNY: Thank you very much. - It's great. - DANNY: Thank you very much.
1073 01:34:10,928 01:34:14,428 - Is the agency happy? - We are. - Is the agency happy? - We are.
1074 01:34:14,515 01:34:16,057 DANNY: Thank you. DANNY: Thank you.
1075 01:34:18,186 01:34:20,095 Annie! Annie!
1076 01:34:21,063 01:34:23,305 We'll be just a moment. We'll be just a moment.
1077 01:34:23,399 01:34:25,475 Annie! Annie!
1078 01:34:27,778 01:34:30,104 Annie. Annie.
1079 01:34:30,197 01:34:37,114 Annie, this is for the calendar. We just do this, we get the calendar out in America. Annie, this is for the calendar. We just do this, we get the calendar out in America.
1080 01:34:38,164 01:34:41,081 - Look, are you gonna talk to me? - I need a shower. - Look, are you gonna talk to me? - I need a shower.
1081 01:34:41,166 01:34:43,836 - What? - Was it down here? - What? - Was it down here?
1082 01:34:43,919 01:34:47,584 I feel dirty. Your washing powder made me feel dirty. I feel dirty. Your washing powder made me feel dirty.
1083 01:34:47,673 01:34:50,460 - My washing powder? - Down here. - My washing powder? - Down here.
1084 01:34:52,970 01:34:57,715 Oh, I get it. I see. This is cos I've organised it, right? Oh, I get it. I see. This is cos I've organised it, right?
1085 01:34:57,808 01:35:03,431 Because I've made a success of getting us a sponsor and taken this out of being... Because I've made a success of getting us a sponsor and taken this out of being...
1086 01:35:03,522 01:35:06,938 We're not just raising money for a relatives' room any more. We're not just raising money for a relatives' room any more.
1087 01:35:07,025 01:35:10,476 - We're taking on the bloody disease. - Red light's on, Chris! - We're taking on the bloody disease. - Red light's on, Chris!
1088 01:35:10,570 01:35:12,729 You can't stand it, can you? You can't stand it, can you?
1089 01:35:12,823 01:35:16,238 You cannot stand that I've made this calendar a success. You cannot stand that I've made this calendar a success.
1090 01:35:16,326 01:35:22,447 No, see, Chris, what's happened is this calendar's made you a success. No, see, Chris, what's happened is this calendar's made you a success.
1091 01:35:25,377 01:35:27,784 - What's that supposed to mean? - Where are we? - What's that supposed to mean? - Where are we?
1092 01:35:27,879 01:35:33,086 - Annie, what is that supposed to mean? - Don't ask me what it means, Chris! - Annie, what is that supposed to mean? - Don't ask me what it means, Chris!
1093 01:35:33,176 01:35:38,301 When you're standing in a cardboard street talking about meeting George Clooney. When you're standing in a cardboard street talking about meeting George Clooney.
1094 01:35:38,389 01:35:43,846 What's with all these letters? All this bloody Florence Nightingale, this agony aunt? What's with all these letters? All this bloody Florence Nightingale, this agony aunt?
1095 01:35:43,936 01:35:48,100 Doesn't that smack just a little bit of being a star? Doesn't that smack just a little bit of being a star?
1096 01:35:48,191 01:35:52,734 Loads of people lose their partners to this disease. I bet they don't all get fan mail. Loads of people lose their partners to this disease. I bet they don't all get fan mail.
1097 01:35:52,820 01:35:58,063 Doesn't that make you a little bit of a success, a successful bereaved woman? Doesn't that make you a little bit of a success, a successful bereaved woman?
1098 01:35:58,159 01:36:02,406 A celebrity widow? St. Annie of Knapely? A celebrity widow? St. Annie of Knapely?
1099 01:36:03,205 01:36:05,992 Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh?
1100 01:36:06,083 01:36:08,372 I'm not a saint, I'm not a saint,
1101 01:36:08,460 01:36:11,414 because I'd rob every penny from this calendar because I'd rob every penny from this calendar
1102 01:36:11,505 01:36:15,337 if it would buy me just one more hour with him. if it would buy me just one more hour with him.
1103 01:36:16,760 01:36:21,007 You've still got yours, and you're in Hollywood! You've still got yours, and you're in Hollywood!
1104 01:37:40,843 01:37:42,752 Oh, well... Oh, well...
1105 01:37:42,845 01:37:44,718 [JERUSALEM] [JERUSALEM]
1106 01:37:44,805 01:37:47,592 Oh, Lord! It's Thursday. Oh, Lord! It's Thursday.
1107 01:37:47,683 01:37:51,099 - Come on. - We've gotta get in there. - Come on. - We've gotta get in there.
1108 01:37:51,311 01:37:53,387 Are you coming? Are you coming?
1109 01:38:10,622 01:38:12,698 Hello, love. Hello, love.
1110 01:38:14,876 01:38:17,414 ♪ ...builded here ♪ ♪ ...builded here ♪
1111 01:38:17,504 01:38:23,874 ♪ Among those dark Satanic mills? ♪ ♪ Among those dark Satanic mills? ♪
1112 01:38:24,719 01:38:29,180 ♪ Bring me my bow of burning gold... ♪ ♪ Bring me my bow of burning gold... ♪
1113 01:38:29,265 01:38:33,014 [SONG PETERS OUT AND WOMEN APPLAUD] [SONG PETERS OUT AND WOMEN APPLAUD]
1114 01:38:50,119 01:38:52,195 How's Jem? How's Jem?
1115 01:38:53,080 01:38:58,075 He made a quiche on Tuesday. We've been stoned ever since. He made a quiche on Tuesday. We've been stoned ever since.
1116 01:39:01,464 01:39:04,879 Don't worry, Chris. He'll be all right. Don't worry, Chris. He'll be all right.
1117 01:39:08,971 01:39:12,387 Look, Rod, I'm... I'm sorry. Look, Rod, I'm... I'm sorry.
1118 01:39:12,474 01:39:15,428 - You don't have to apologise. - I do have to apologise. - You don't have to apologise. - I do have to apologise.
1119 01:39:15,519 01:39:20,097 Everything you said in the paper was true, wasn't it? Everything you said in the paper was true, wasn't it?
1120 01:39:20,190 01:39:24,686 - I didn't know he was a journalist. - This isn't the point. - I didn't know he was a journalist. - This isn't the point.
1121 01:39:24,778 01:39:28,112 I mean, you still said it. Just why didn't you say it to me? I mean, you still said it. Just why didn't you say it to me?
1122 01:39:28,198 01:39:32,492 Why didn't you just, I don't know, shout out What the bloody hell do you think... Why didn't you just, I don't know, shout out What the bloody hell do you think...
1123 01:39:32,577 01:39:35,068 I know you'd have liked me to. I know you'd have liked me to.
1124 01:39:36,331 01:39:39,665 It'd suit your Hollywood story if I'd been No bloody wife of mine! It'd suit your Hollywood story if I'd been No bloody wife of mine!
1125 01:39:39,751 01:39:44,627 But I've not because... I actually think it's brilliant what you've done. But I've not because... I actually think it's brilliant what you've done.
1126 01:39:46,424 01:39:51,003 That's why I've stood behind you, and I've told your son to get over it and be proud, That's why I've stood behind you, and I've told your son to get over it and be proud,
1127 01:39:51,096 01:39:54,132 because I actually wanted you to have all this. because I actually wanted you to have all this.
1128 01:39:58,937 01:40:00,680 Thank you. Thank you.
1129 01:40:02,982 01:40:09,566 Do me a bloody favour, get back in that hall and sort out what's wrong with Annie. Do me a bloody favour, get back in that hall and sort out what's wrong with Annie.
1130 01:40:09,655 01:40:12,573 I don't know what to say to her. I don't know what to say to her.
1131 01:40:12,658 01:40:18,282 She's your oldest friend, Chris. You don't have to say anything. She's your oldest friend, Chris. You don't have to say anything.
1132 01:40:23,627 01:40:26,831 Sorry. Ladies, ladies. Would you... Sorry. Ladies, ladies. Would you...
1133 01:40:26,922 01:40:28,879 Ladies, please. Ladies, please.
1134 01:40:28,966 01:40:31,587 Since we've stopped, as it happens, Since we've stopped, as it happens,
1135 01:40:31,677 01:40:38,011 today we've finally been sent the first figures for the sales of our calendar. today we've finally been sent the first figures for the sales of our calendar.
1136 01:40:38,100 01:40:41,469 Come on. Where is it? Right, thank you. Come on. Where is it? Right, thank you.
1137 01:40:41,562 01:40:47,849 It says here in this letter from Leukaemia Research Fund It says here in this letter from Leukaemia Research Fund
1138 01:40:47,943 01:40:50,434 that we've so far raised... that we've so far raised...
1139 01:40:51,405 01:40:56,316 £286,000. £286,000.
1140 01:40:56,410 01:40:58,070 [GASPING] [GASPING]
1141 01:40:58,161 01:41:03,203 So a big round of applause to all of us for making it such a success. So a big round of applause to all of us for making it such a success.
1142 01:41:04,501 01:41:08,036 We can get that sofa in the leather, then. We can get that sofa in the leather, then.
1143 01:41:19,641 01:41:25,893 ♪ And did those feet in ancient time ♪ ♪ And did those feet in ancient time ♪
1144 01:41:25,980 01:41:27,889 ♪ Walk upon England's... ♪ ♪ Walk upon England's... ♪
1145 01:41:27,982 01:41:32,561 CHRIS: I've put our names down for next month's speakers. CHRIS: I've put our names down for next month's speakers.
1146 01:41:32,653 01:41:36,983 CHRIS & ANNIE: What We Learned in Hollywood. CHRIS & ANNIE: What We Learned in Hollywood.
1147 01:41:37,075 01:41:42,947 ANNIE: You're lying. Colin Petley's coming from Keighley with his tea towel collection. ANNIE: You're lying. Colin Petley's coming from Keighley with his tea towel collection.
1148 01:41:43,039 01:41:45,874 CHRIS: Be still, my beating heart. CHRIS: Be still, my beating heart.
1149 01:41:45,958 01:41:48,034 - Anyone fancy some chips? - ALL: Oh, yes! - Anyone fancy some chips? - ALL: Oh, yes!
1149 01:41:45,958 01:41:48,034 - Anyone fancy some chips? - ALL: Oh, yes! - Anyone fancy some chips? - ALL: Oh, yes!