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1 00:00:00,000 00:00:10,000 ======================= Author: truc1979 Fix or feedback: please let me know [email protected] ======================= ======================= Author: truc1979 Fix or feedback: please let me know [email protected] =======================
2 00:02:28,751 00:02:29,642 This is Martin. This is Martin.
3 00:02:29,642 00:02:33,031 This is Dr Jones. I'm in Cruella Industries Headquarters. This is Dr Jones. I'm in Cruella Industries Headquarters.
4 00:02:33,483 00:02:35,603 Excellent. Any trouble? Excellent. Any trouble?
5 00:02:35,603 00:02:36,725 (Not yet.) (Not yet.)
6 00:02:36,860 00:02:39,757 But I have cleaned 3 floors with the toilets to get here. But I have cleaned 3 floors with the toilets to get here.
7 00:02:41,289 00:02:44,025 Excellent work Dr Jones. Your country appreciates it. Excellent work Dr Jones. Your country appreciates it.
8 00:02:44,343 00:02:45,634 Any sign of the idol? Any sign of the idol?
9 00:02:46,357 00:02:47,997 That's right in front of me. That's right in front of me.
10 00:02:48,500 00:02:49,777 Can you secure it? Can you secure it?
11 00:02:50,050 00:02:52,323 Its value is a *** national security. Its value is a *** national security.
12 00:02:52,915 00:02:54,371 Looks easy enough. Looks easy enough.
13 00:02:54,857 00:02:56,239 That's what worries me. That's what worries me.
14 00:02:56,800 00:02:58,369 Is our deal still on place? Is our deal still on place?
15 00:02:58,969 00:03:02,039 Yes, you will be allowed to study it for your own research, Yes, you will be allowed to study it for your own research,
16 00:03:02,039 00:03:04,592 as long as we know it's not in the hands of our enemies. as long as we know it's not in the hands of our enemies.
17 00:03:05,418 00:03:08,439 No one want the CIA going back on their word now. No one want the CIA going back on their word now.
18 00:03:08,908 00:03:10,581 No tricks, Jones. No tricks, Jones.
19 00:03:10,600 00:03:13,719 Just get the idol away from Evilla Cruella, Just get the idol away from Evilla Cruella,
20 00:03:13,719 00:03:16,473 and you've done the world greatest service. and you've done the world greatest service.
21 00:03:17,200 00:03:20,284 It doesn't seem to be an alarm system in place. It doesn't seem to be an alarm system in place.
22 00:03:20,800 00:03:22,326 I'll call you once I'm outside. I'll call you once I'm outside.
23 00:03:22,326 00:03:24,109 Be careful. Be careful.
24 00:03:25,700 00:03:26,800 Don't worry, Don't worry,
25 00:03:26,800 00:03:29,011 I've stolen my fair share of idols. I've stolen my fair share of idols.
26 00:03:28,850 00:03:29,968 Piece of cake. Piece of cake.
27 00:03:29,968 00:03:31,218 Over and out. Over and out.
28 00:03:44,454 00:03:45,401 Hmm. Hmm.
29 00:03:46,100 00:03:50,665 You will look spectacular in my trophy case. You will look spectacular in my trophy case.
30 00:03:51,600 00:03:52,367 Freeze! Freeze!
31 00:03:52,727 00:03:54,521 (Put your hands up.) (Put your hands up.)
32 00:03:56,950 00:03:58,757 Easy Lady. Easy Lady.
33 00:03:58,903 00:04:00,143 What are you doing in here? What are you doing in here?
34 00:04:01,000 00:04:02,157 Let me guess... Let me guess...
35 00:04:02,157 00:04:03,604 Silent alarm? Silent alarm?
36 00:04:03,750 00:04:04,693 That's right. That's right.
37 00:04:04,693 00:04:06,406 Now I've asked you: what were you doing? Now I've asked you: what were you doing?
38 00:04:06,951 00:04:08,552 What's it look like, Einstein? What's it look like, Einstein?
39 00:04:08,552 00:04:10,191 I'm the cleaning lady. I'm the cleaning lady.
40 00:04:10,191 00:04:11,263 (I'm cleaning up.) (I'm cleaning up.)
41 00:04:12,000 00:04:13,123 How'd you get in here? How'd you get in here?
42 00:04:13,250 00:04:14,416 All the doors are locked. All the doors are locked.
43 00:04:15,162 00:04:17,435 Can I help it? I get paid to clean. Can I help it? I get paid to clean.
44 00:04:17,435 00:04:20,425 I finished three floors, this was my last stop. I finished three floors, this was my last stop.
45 00:04:21,373 00:04:22,360 That's right. That's right.
46 00:04:22,750 00:04:24,573 I saw you on the second floor. I saw you on the second floor.
47 00:04:25,000 00:04:26,000 You do good work. You do good work.
48 00:04:27,000 00:04:28,750 Thanks. I try. Thanks. I try.
49 00:04:28,750 00:04:30,628 (Well, I guess there's no harm done.) (Well, I guess there's no harm done.)
50 00:04:31,300 00:04:33,146 We better not let anybody know about this. We better not let anybody know about this.
51 00:04:33,600 00:04:34,950 They'll fire one of us for sure. They'll fire one of us for sure.
52 00:04:35,843 00:04:37,150 Why would I tell anyone? Why would I tell anyone?
53 00:04:37,150 00:04:38,518 I don't want to lose my job. I don't want to lose my job.
54 00:04:38,650 00:04:39,450 (Well, me either.) (Well, me either.)
55 00:04:39,800 00:04:42,350 So we agree? This never happened. So we agree? This never happened.
56 00:04:42,899 00:04:43,929 What happened? What happened?
57 00:04:44,413 00:04:46,269 Yeah, that's the idea. Yeah, that's the idea.
58 00:04:47,070 00:04:49,036 You know, my shift is over now. You know, my shift is over now.
59 00:04:49,403 00:04:50,384 What do you say? What do you say?
60 00:04:50,853 00:04:52,347 (You and me seal the deal?) (You and me seal the deal?)
61 00:04:53,050 00:04:55,975 This way neither one of us is tempted to talk about it later. This way neither one of us is tempted to talk about it later.
62 00:04:57,100 00:04:59,059 You mean... You mean...
63 00:04:59,500 00:05:00,381 ...you and me? ...you and me?
64 00:05:01,124 00:05:03,097 Right here on the desk. Right here on the desk.
65 00:05:04,203 00:05:05,576 Well... Well...
66 00:05:06,338 00:05:08,966 I guess no one gonna miss me for a little while. I guess no one gonna miss me for a little while.
67 00:05:09,781 00:05:10,878 Great. Great.
68 00:05:10,878 00:05:12,588 Let's not waste any time. Let's not waste any time.
69 00:10:28,200 00:10:31,517 Oh baby, you already started to me good luck. Oh baby, you already started to me good luck.
70 00:10:38,650 00:10:40,030 (And that, Mr Martin,) (And that, Mr Martin,)
71 00:10:40,030 00:10:43,555 it's how I stole the sacred idol of Eros right from under their noses. it's how I stole the sacred idol of Eros right from under their noses.
72 00:10:44,250 00:10:46,644 Excellent work, Dr Jones. Excellent. Excellent work, Dr Jones. Excellent.
73 00:10:47,100 00:10:49,998 You know, word on the street is that Evilla Cruella You know, word on the street is that Evilla Cruella
74 00:10:49,998 00:10:52,845 is absolutely having a cow over this. is absolutely having a cow over this.
75 00:10:53,628 00:10:55,096 And well, she might. And well, she might.
76 00:10:55,150 00:10:57,965 We have to ensure that this never falls into her hands again. We have to ensure that this never falls into her hands again.
77 00:10:58,300 00:10:59,588 Don't forget our deal: Don't forget our deal:
78 00:10:59,800 00:11:02,676 I keep the idol for my research, and when I'm done, I keep the idol for my research, and when I'm done,
79 00:11:02,676 00:11:05,580 you CIA boys can have it for your little collection. you CIA boys can have it for your little collection.
80 00:11:06,000 00:11:08,335 I wish you'd reconsider our agreement Dr Jones. I wish you'd reconsider our agreement Dr Jones.
81 00:11:08,335 00:11:11,413 We can't afford to have that floating around out there somewhere. We can't afford to have that floating around out there somewhere.
82 00:11:12,235 00:11:14,154 It won't be floating anywhere. It won't be floating anywhere.
83 00:11:14,250 00:11:15,740 It will be with me. It will be with me.
84 00:11:16,000 00:11:17,502 I'll take good care of it. I'll take good care of it.
85 00:11:19,500 00:11:21,994 You realize that on that idol, somewhere, You realize that on that idol, somewhere,
86 00:11:21,994 00:11:24,265 is the location of the temple of Eros? is the location of the temple of Eros?
87 00:11:24,450 00:11:25,456 Exactly. Exactly.
88 00:11:25,456 00:11:29,203 And whoever finds the temple, finds the Tiara of Aisha. And whoever finds the temple, finds the Tiara of Aisha.
89 00:11:29,496 00:11:30,700 Exactly. Exactly.
90 00:11:30,700 00:11:33,541 And whoever has the Tiara of Aisha, And whoever has the Tiara of Aisha,
91 00:11:33,541 00:11:36,959 shall be the ruler of the Empire of Moronica. shall be the ruler of the Empire of Moronica.
92 00:11:38,405 00:11:41,963 Can you believe Evilla Cruella, with all her millions, Can you believe Evilla Cruella, with all her millions,
93 00:11:41,963 00:11:44,034 still wants to be ruler of the Empire? still wants to be ruler of the Empire?
94 00:11:44,300 00:11:45,948 (That's not gonna happen.) (That's not gonna happen.)
95 00:11:46,232 00:11:47,395 We're counting on you. We're counting on you.
96 00:11:47,600 00:11:48,850 (Listen Martin,) (Listen Martin,)
97 00:11:48,850 00:11:52,105 I'll give you this trinket as soon as I decipher the map to the temple. I'll give you this trinket as soon as I decipher the map to the temple.
98 00:11:52,400 00:11:53,893 That's all I'm interested in. That's all I'm interested in.
99 00:11:53,893 00:11:56,563 And what then? You'll hold on to the Tiara? And what then? You'll hold on to the Tiara?
100 00:11:58,400 00:11:59,775 It's a museum piece. It's a museum piece.
101 00:11:59,900 00:12:03,095 I have no intention of becoming queen of the morons. I have no intention of becoming queen of the morons.
102 00:12:03,444 00:12:05,035 That's your job. That's your job.
103 00:12:06,680 00:12:09,186 Contact me the moment you break the code. Contact me the moment you break the code.
104 00:12:09,686 00:12:10,916 Ciao baby. Ciao baby.
105 00:12:18,903 00:12:22,903 I want that idol. It's mine by right of my ancestry. I want that idol. It's mine by right of my ancestry.
106 00:12:23,500 00:12:26,125 Perhaps. But I thought you were from Hoboken. Perhaps. But I thought you were from Hoboken.
107 00:12:26,675 00:12:29,367 Hoboken... Well... Hoboken... Well...
108 00:12:29,367 00:12:34,836 My grandpa did settled there, but my real destiny is the Empire of Moronica. My grandpa did settled there, but my real destiny is the Empire of Moronica.
109 00:12:35,400 00:12:38,562 Yes, of course. Yes, of course.
110 00:12:37,100 00:12:38,947 This is all very unfortunate. This is all very unfortunate.
111 00:12:39,900 00:12:42,714 I entrusted my spies to bring me my idol. I entrusted my spies to bring me my idol.
112 00:12:42,714 00:12:45,197 We had it, but it slipped away. We had it, but it slipped away.
113 00:12:45,197 00:12:46,681 (And I want it back.) (And I want it back.)
114 00:12:46,990 00:12:49,369 How can we help you achieve your goals, Mistress? How can we help you achieve your goals, Mistress?
115 00:12:49,700 00:12:53,773 I must have that idol. It alone has the location of the temple of Eros. I must have that idol. It alone has the location of the temple of Eros.
116 00:12:54,138 00:12:57,200 With it i can acquire the Tiara of Aisha, With it i can acquire the Tiara of Aisha,
117 00:12:57,200 00:12:59,382 and rule all of Moronica. and rule all of Moronica.
118 00:12:59,837 00:13:02,651 And then you will be the supreme Empress of Moronica. And then you will be the supreme Empress of Moronica.
119 00:13:03,081 00:13:04,656 Suits me well, don't you think? Suits me well, don't you think?
120 00:13:04,656 00:13:06,100 It does, indeed. It does, indeed.
121 00:13:06,159 00:13:07,841 Then get me that idol. Then get me that idol.
122 00:13:07,841 00:13:10,577 I don't care how you do it or by what means, I don't care how you do it or by what means,
123 00:13:10,577 00:13:13,000 just bring it back to me. just bring it back to me.
124 00:13:13,332 00:13:16,186 I understand that Dr Jones, the eminent archaeologist, I understand that Dr Jones, the eminent archaeologist,
125 00:13:16,186 00:13:17,486 (has it in her possession.) (has it in her possession.)
126 00:13:18,300 00:13:19,598 Then you know what to do. Then you know what to do.
127 00:13:19,700 00:13:23,539 Rally our spies in America and bring me that idol. Rally our spies in America and bring me that idol.
128 00:13:23,944 00:13:24,885 At your command. At your command.
129 00:13:28,100 00:13:30,699 I will have that idol ***. I will have that idol ***.
130 00:13:49,549 00:13:52,580 Man! I feel like I haven't showered in a week. Man! I feel like I haven't showered in a week.
131 00:13:53,584 00:13:58,532 At least, still smells like a blonde security guard. At least, still smells like a blonde security guard.
132 00:13:59,050 00:14:00,689 Well, I can fix that. Well, I can fix that.
133 00:17:05,619 00:17:06,769 Who the hell are you? Who the hell are you?
134 00:17:07,000 00:17:08,399 (Carol Summers.) (Carol Summers.)
135 00:17:08,399 00:17:10,850 Department of National Antiquities. Department of National Antiquities.
136 00:17:13,575 00:17:17,359 Martin asked me to stop by to see if I could be of any assistance. Martin asked me to stop by to see if I could be of any assistance.
137 00:17:17,600 00:17:19,026 Is that so... Is that so...
138 00:17:19,736 00:17:21,742 (Well, I didn't hear anything about this,) (Well, I didn't hear anything about this,)
139 00:17:21,742 00:17:24,276 and I don't remember asking for any help. and I don't remember asking for any help.
140 00:17:24,640 00:17:27,500 Well, Martin's anxious to have the idol in safekeeping. Well, Martin's anxious to have the idol in safekeeping.
141 00:17:27,550 00:17:29,100 As long as you possess it, As long as you possess it,
142 00:17:29,100 00:17:30,600 (it it could fall into the wrong hands.) (it it could fall into the wrong hands.)
143 00:17:30,600 00:17:32,802 Pff, yeah, I've heard the spiel. Pff, yeah, I've heard the spiel.
144 00:17:33,600 00:17:35,149 Can you give me a moment? Can you give me a moment?
145 00:17:36,400 00:17:37,348 Alright. Alright.
146 00:17:38,000 00:17:39,994 You can just step outside to the hallway. You can just step outside to the hallway.
147 00:17:49,400 00:17:50,557 [*phone rings*] [*phone rings*]
148 00:17:52,446 00:17:53,546 Martin here. Martin here.
149 00:17:53,766 00:17:55,100 This is Dr Jones. This is Dr Jones.
150 00:17:55,350 00:17:56,735 Ah. Doctor. Ah. Doctor.
151 00:17:56,735 00:17:57,613 Everything's all right? Everything's all right?
152 00:17:57,850 00:18:00,912 Just calling to check on a Carol Summers. Just calling to check on a Carol Summers.
153 00:18:01,479 00:18:02,423 Yes? Yes?
154 00:18:02,700 00:18:03,904 One of yours? One of yours?
155 00:18:04,200 00:18:06,800 (Absolutely. We thought you might need a hand.) (Absolutely. We thought you might need a hand.)
156 00:18:07,000 00:18:10,350 Carol is an excellent... cipher. Carol is an excellent... cipher.
157 00:18:11,000 00:18:12,006 So am I. So am I.
158 00:18:13,200 00:18:15,050 But I could use some help. But I could use some help.
159 00:18:15,200 00:18:16,950 Might speed up the process a little. Might speed up the process a little.
160 00:18:17,000 00:18:18,376 That's what we thought. That's what we thought.
161 00:18:18,376 00:18:19,755 She's very good. She's very good.
162 00:18:20,400 00:18:22,447 I'm sure you two will hit it all off. I'm sure you two will hit it all off.
163 00:18:22,761 00:18:23,663 I'll let you know. I'll let you know.
164 00:18:24,000 00:18:27,025 Hey, and next time you ask someone to drop in on me, Hey, and next time you ask someone to drop in on me,
165 00:18:27,025 00:18:28,501 warn me first. warn me first.
166 00:18:29,800 00:18:31,411 Understood. Understood.
167 00:18:36,000 00:18:37,217 Carol? Carol?
168 00:18:40,100 00:18:41,700 Everything hunky-dory? Everything hunky-dory?
169 00:18:41,800 00:18:44,150 Yeah, it's all "hunky-dory". Yeah, it's all "hunky-dory".
170 00:18:44,900 00:18:46,500 So what's your game, sister? So what's your game, sister?
171 00:18:46,500 00:18:50,392 I'm just your average, red blooded, all american egghead, I guess. I'm just your average, red blooded, all american egghead, I guess.
172 00:18:50,605 00:18:52,160 Too smart for my own good. Too smart for my own good.
173 00:18:52,700 00:18:54,252 No luck with the boys, huh? No luck with the boys, huh?
174 00:18:54,700 00:18:58,000 No. Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses. No. Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses.
175 00:18:58,200 00:19:00,350 That's why I wear contacts. That's why I wear contacts.
176 00:19:00,420 00:19:02,754 I wish I could but it hurts my eyes. I wish I could but it hurts my eyes.
177 00:19:03,676 00:19:06,588 Hmm, studying too hard. You should get out more. Hmm, studying too hard. You should get out more.
178 00:19:06,800 00:19:08,217 Hmm, maybe. Hmm, maybe.
179 00:19:08,217 00:19:09,788 Everything's okay? Everything's okay?
180 00:19:10,300 00:19:11,063 Oh... Oh...
181 00:19:11,500 00:19:12,995 That's a whip mark. That's a whip mark.
182 00:19:13,200 00:19:14,125 A whip mark? A whip mark?
183 00:19:14,460 00:19:16,300 Got it in Istanbul. Got it in Istanbul.
184 00:19:16,550 00:19:17,950 That's incredible. That's incredible.
185 00:19:17,950 00:19:19,555 Someone actually whipped you? Someone actually whipped you?
186 00:19:19,978 00:19:22,859 Well, they tried. But they didn't get away with it. Well, they tried. But they didn't get away with it.
187 00:19:22,977 00:19:25,515 I had a live cobra in my pants. I had a live cobra in my pants.
188 00:19:25,750 00:19:27,134 A live cobra? A live cobra?
189 00:19:27,200 00:19:28,930 (Never underestimate the power of...) (Never underestimate the power of...)
190 00:19:28,930 00:19:31,868 highly poisonous and very pissed-off snake. highly poisonous and very pissed-off snake.
191 00:19:32,000 00:19:33,900 Sounds like you've been through a lot. Sounds like you've been through a lot.
192 00:19:34,100 00:19:36,116 And I've got the bruises to prove it. And I've got the bruises to prove it.
193 00:19:36,300 00:19:39,340 A person who lives a dangerous life like you do, A person who lives a dangerous life like you do,
194 00:19:39,340 00:19:41,536 needs to relax more. needs to relax more.
195 00:19:42,000 00:19:43,233 Maybe. Maybe.
196 00:19:43,650 00:19:46,204 But in my line of work you got to keep on your toes. But in my line of work you got to keep on your toes.
197 00:19:46,724 00:19:49,033 Sounds like you need a massage. Sounds like you need a massage.
198 00:19:50,100 00:19:52,318 I studied Rikki in college. I studied Rikki in college.
199 00:19:52,515 00:19:53,394 Rikki? Rikki?
200 00:19:53,394 00:19:58,196 Rikki Tikki Tavi. The art of sensuous mongoose massage. Rikki Tikki Tavi. The art of sensuous mongoose massage.
201 00:19:58,650 00:20:00,150 Are you any good? Are you any good?
202 00:20:00,656 00:20:02,850 Well... I haven't had any luck with the boys, Well... I haven't had any luck with the boys,
203 00:20:02,850 00:20:05,100 but I scored a pretty high with the girls. but I scored a pretty high with the girls.
204 00:20:05,100 00:20:05,717 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
205 00:20:06,593 00:20:08,239 Well... Well...
206 00:20:09,038 00:20:11,974 Martin did say you were to lend a helping hand. Martin did say you were to lend a helping hand.
207 00:20:12,277 00:20:15,365 He didn't say where those hands would be used. He didn't say where those hands would be used.
208 00:20:16,100 00:20:17,362 So what the hell? So what the hell?
209 00:25:41,149 00:25:42,988 At last... At last...
210 00:25:44,400 00:25:46,876 "The person who possesses it rules the Empire". "The person who possesses it rules the Empire".
211 00:25:47,450 00:25:49,565 Dought... Who wants it? Dought... Who wants it?
212 00:25:53,750 00:25:55,368 This was too easy. This was too easy.
213 00:25:57,850 00:25:58,927 Hold it! Hold it!
214 00:25:59,900 00:26:01,548 Okay, okay, don't shoot. Okay, okay, don't shoot.
215 00:26:01,750 00:26:04,357 Now, gently. Put everything back on the counter. Now, gently. Put everything back on the counter.
216 00:26:06,100 00:26:07,471 (That's a good boy.) (That's a good boy.)
217 00:26:07,900 00:26:09,667 Now tell me: who do you work for? Now tell me: who do you work for?
218 00:26:10,050 00:26:11,650 I think you already know. I think you already know.
219 00:26:12,000 00:26:13,878 I work for the rightful owner of that idol: I work for the rightful owner of that idol:
220 00:26:14,000 00:26:17,366 Evilla Cruella. The heir to the Empire Moronica. Evilla Cruella. The heir to the Empire Moronica.
221 00:26:17,500 00:26:19,397 You mean: "the airhead". You mean: "the airhead".
222 00:26:20,250 00:26:22,008 Wait. Isn't she from Hoboken? Wait. Isn't she from Hoboken?
223 00:26:22,100 00:26:25,574 Well, her grandpa settled in Hoboken but her ancestors were Morons. Well, her grandpa settled in Hoboken but her ancestors were Morons.
224 00:26:25,574 00:26:27,085 Make no mistake about it. Make no mistake about it.
225 00:26:27,964 00:26:29,836 I'm gonna have to trust you on that one. I'm gonna have to trust you on that one.
226 00:26:30,100 00:26:32,911 Unfortunately the idol is mine now, Unfortunately the idol is mine now,
227 00:26:32,911 00:26:37,260 and when I finish, the CIA is gonna put it where the sun don't shine. and when I finish, the CIA is gonna put it where the sun don't shine.
228 00:26:37,500 00:26:39,712 You don't know what you're playing with, Dr Jones. You don't know what you're playing with, Dr Jones.
229 00:26:39,712 00:26:42,150 Evilla will go to great lengths to regain that idol. Evilla will go to great lengths to regain that idol.
230 00:26:42,300 00:26:44,329 You could be a very rich woman. You could be a very rich woman.
231 00:26:45,119 00:26:46,600 What's money to me? What's money to me?
232 00:26:46,950 00:26:50,200 You could have power. Lots of power. You could have power. Lots of power.
233 00:26:50,200 00:26:52,326 I'm already telling the CIA where to stick it. I'm already telling the CIA where to stick it.
234 00:26:52,326 00:26:53,878 How much more power do I need? How much more power do I need?
235 00:26:54,539 00:26:57,488 Hmm. You could have rocking sex, day and night. Hmm. You could have rocking sex, day and night.
236 00:26:57,719 00:26:58,474 Nice... Nice...
237 00:26:58,550 00:26:59,993 But I'm a little tired. But I'm a little tired.
238 00:27:00,074 00:27:02,553 Now turn around, and put your hands behind your back. Now turn around, and put your hands behind your back.
239 00:27:03,500 00:27:04,638 (Okay.) (Okay.)
240 00:27:04,676 00:27:07,220 But this is gonna hurt you a lot more than it hurts me. But this is gonna hurt you a lot more than it hurts me.
241 00:27:07,200 00:27:09,797 (That's what all the boys say.) (That's what all the boys say.)
242 00:27:09,850 00:27:10,618 *Ouch* *Ouch*
243 00:27:14,600 00:27:15,694 Good work, Carol. Good work, Carol.
244 00:27:15,482 00:27:17,500 I thought you might sleep through the entire thing. I thought you might sleep through the entire thing.
245 00:27:17,500 00:27:19,872 Dr Jones takes a lot out of a woman. Dr Jones takes a lot out of a woman.
246 00:27:19,950 00:27:21,785 I'm still a little weak in the knees. I'm still a little weak in the knees.
247 00:27:21,785 00:27:22,934 (Cool your jets, Carol!) (Cool your jets, Carol!)
248 00:27:23,134 00:27:25,507 Let's grab everything and get out of here before she wakes up. Let's grab everything and get out of here before she wakes up.
249 00:27:26,003 00:27:29,965 See you doctor. Thanks for the hot sex. See you doctor. Thanks for the hot sex.
250 00:27:33,709 00:27:36,400 This is terrible news, Dr Jones. This is terrible news, Dr Jones.
251 00:27:36,500 00:27:37,643 Yes. Yes.
252 00:27:37,600 00:27:39,562 ... I mean... What is? ... I mean... What is?
253 00:27:40,650 00:27:42,350 Are you sure you're alright? Are you sure you're alright?
254 00:27:42,900 00:27:43,600 Me? Me?
255 00:27:43,600 00:27:45,377 Pff. Of course I am. Pff. Of course I am.
256 00:27:47,405 00:27:48,657 What did you just called me? What did you just called me?
257 00:27:49,395 00:27:51,951 You're Dr Jones. You're Dr Jones.
258 00:27:52,648 00:27:53,660 I am? I am?
259 00:27:54,300 00:27:55,977 Oh dear... Oh dear...
260 00:27:56,400 00:27:58,500 Don't you remember anything that's happened? Don't you remember anything that's happened?
261 00:27:59,150 00:28:00,690 Oh! Of course I do. Oh! Of course I do.
262 00:28:00,862 00:28:02,156 I took a shower, I took a shower,
263 00:28:02,156 00:28:04,604 (got to know Carol a little better,) (got to know Carol a little better,)
264 00:28:04,604 00:28:06,888 and then I found this strange guy in my house. and then I found this strange guy in my house.
265 00:28:06,888 00:28:08,250 And he was stealing the idol. And he was stealing the idol.
266 00:28:08,258 00:28:09,258 Yes, yes? Yes, yes?
267 00:28:09,557 00:28:11,379 I had the upper hand... I had the upper hand...
268 00:28:11,913 00:28:15,873 and the he told me that Evilla Cruella wants to be Empress of Moronica. and the he told me that Evilla Cruella wants to be Empress of Moronica.
269 00:28:17,509 00:28:19,803 She comes from a long line of Morons. She comes from a long line of Morons.
270 00:28:19,877 00:28:22,088 From Hoboken... so I'm told. From Hoboken... so I'm told.
271 00:28:22,200 00:28:24,071 Yeah, that's what I thought too. Yeah, that's what I thought too.
272 00:28:24,150 00:28:25,410 But the bottom line is: But the bottom line is:
273 00:28:25,410 00:28:29,316 "Whoever finds the Tiara of Aisha, can crown themselves Empress" "Whoever finds the Tiara of Aisha, can crown themselves Empress"
274 00:28:29,700 00:28:30,513 (It's a slam dunk) (It's a slam dunk)
275 00:28:31,100 00:28:33,500 Anyone can be ruler. Even you. Anyone can be ruler. Even you.
276 00:28:34,400 00:28:34,893 Yep. Yep.
277 00:28:35,300 00:28:36,250 What about Carol? What about Carol?
278 00:28:36,800 00:28:38,290 Gone when I woke up. Gone when I woke up.
279 00:28:39,096 00:28:40,230 Maybe she split... Maybe she split...
280 00:28:41,500 00:28:42,718 Maybe she got kidnapped! Maybe she got kidnapped!
281 00:28:43,332 00:28:44,746 (You haven't heard from her?) (You haven't heard from her?)
282 00:28:45,100 00:28:46,200 Nothing. Nothing.
283 00:28:46,702 00:28:49,702 Now you understand it's vitally important that we recover this idol. Now you understand it's vitally important that we recover this idol.
284 00:28:52,328 00:28:54,231 It's your personal responsibility. It's your personal responsibility.
285 00:28:54,231 00:28:57,271 This never would have happened had you taken my advice in the first place. This never would have happened had you taken my advice in the first place.
286 00:28:57,271 00:28:58,963 Save your speeches. Save your speeches.
287 00:28:58,963 00:29:00,059 I feel bad enough. I feel bad enough.
288 00:29:00,500 00:29:01,550 Don't worry. Don't worry.
289 00:29:02,100 00:29:04,147 How can I not worry? How can I not worry?
290 00:29:05,032 00:29:07,052 I've got a secret. I've got a secret.
291 00:29:07,594 00:29:09,331 Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!
292 00:29:09,500 00:29:13,400 I placed a small tracking device on the idol base. I placed a small tracking device on the idol base.
293 00:29:14,100 00:29:16,567 I've got a GPS signal onto every move. I've got a GPS signal onto every move.
294 00:29:17,000 00:29:18,644 Excellent Dr Jones. Excellent Dr Jones.
295 00:29:20,000 00:29:22,150 Where is the idol now? Where is the idol now?
296 00:29:22,500 00:29:23,800 I don't know. I don't know.
297 00:29:25,000 00:29:27,619 The tracking unit's broken BUT I'm working on it. The tracking unit's broken BUT I'm working on it.
298 00:29:30,750 00:29:33,061 I'll send a tech over to help out. I'll send a tech over to help out.
299 00:29:33,433 00:29:36,345 (In the meantime, please, keep in touch.) (In the meantime, please, keep in touch.)
300 00:29:38,500 00:29:40,444 Ask him to knock next time, okay? Ask him to knock next time, okay?
301 00:29:43,500 00:29:44,437 [*phone rings*] [*phone rings*]
302 00:29:44,800 00:29:45,929 Martin here. Martin here.
303 00:34:29,000 00:34:31,550 [*phone rings*] [*phone rings*]
304 00:34:32,517 00:34:33,506 Mr Martin? Mr Martin?
305 00:34:33,506 00:34:36,302 Sorry, I was away from my phone. Sorry, I was away from my phone.
306 00:34:38,900 00:34:39,850 Yeah. Yeah.
307 00:34:40,068 00:34:41,555 Let me stop by my house, Let me stop by my house,
308 00:34:41,555 00:34:43,405 I'll change, get my tools, I'll change, get my tools,
309 00:34:43,405 00:34:46,405 and I *** over there. and I *** over there.
310 00:34:46,300 00:34:47,077 Okay. Okay.
311 00:34:51,500 00:34:54,570 You have news for me? You have news for me?
312 00:34:53,300 00:34:54,600 The best. The best.
313 00:34:57,860 00:34:59,543 Excellent. Excellent.
314 00:34:59,711 00:35:02,364 Finally a man who does not disappoint. Finally a man who does not disappoint.
315 00:35:03,246 00:35:04,674 I've got the notebook. I've got the notebook.
316 00:35:05,150 00:35:08,468 Good Carol. Your training has paid off. Good Carol. Your training has paid off.
317 00:35:14,800 00:35:16,635 These pages are blank. These pages are blank.
318 00:35:17,100 00:35:20,238 We didn't have a chance to start unscrambling the code. We didn't have a chance to start unscrambling the code.
319 00:35:22,460 00:35:24,100 This is worthless. This is worthless.
320 00:35:24,550 00:35:25,900 What now mistress? What now mistress?
321 00:35:30,650 00:35:33,688 Carol, I want you to go back to Dr Jones. Carol, I want you to go back to Dr Jones.
322 00:35:33,688 00:35:36,192 Tell her you were kidnapped but managed to escape. Tell her you were kidnapped but managed to escape.
323 00:35:36,192 00:35:38,974 Then I want you to gain her confidence, Then I want you to gain her confidence,
324 00:35:38,990 00:35:41,052 and see what you can find out. and see what you can find out.
325 00:35:41,773 00:35:43,465 Yes mistress. Yes mistress.
326 00:35:52,250 00:35:54,186 You've done well, Drago. You've done well, Drago.
327 00:35:54,186 00:35:57,730 You deserve a reward, and I alone will give it to you. You deserve a reward, and I alone will give it to you.
328 00:35:58,100 00:36:00,450 I am unworthy, but I will take it. I am unworthy, but I will take it.
329 00:36:00,750 00:36:02,072 Come with me. Come with me.
330 00:36:17,200 00:36:20,529 Such a good, good boy. Such a good, good boy.
331 00:36:37,750 00:36:41,195 Take this tight pants off of here. Take this tight pants off of here.
332 00:41:43,000 00:41:43,979 Damnit. Damnit.
333 00:41:43,979 00:41:46,965 Close, but not good enough to get me a signal. Close, but not good enough to get me a signal.
334 00:41:55,300 00:41:56,337 Carol! Carol!
335 00:41:56,661 00:41:57,683 Dr Jones. Dr Jones.
336 00:41:57,900 00:41:59,045 What happened to you? What happened to you?
337 00:41:59,138 00:42:00,826 (After you were knocked on the head,) (After you were knocked on the head,)
338 00:42:00,826 00:42:03,573 two men grabbed me from the bed and kidnapped me. two men grabbed me from the bed and kidnapped me.
339 00:42:03,800 00:42:04,846 Poor thing. Poor thing.
340 00:42:05,250 00:42:07,806 It was terrible. Just terrible. It was terrible. Just terrible.
341 00:42:07,806 00:42:09,332 They thought I knew something, They thought I knew something,
342 00:42:09,332 00:42:11,995 so they brought me to this abandoned warehouse, so they brought me to this abandoned warehouse,
343 00:42:11,995 00:42:14,474 where they did awful things to me. where they did awful things to me.
344 00:42:14,900 00:42:17,488 But I couldn't tell them anything cuz I didn't know anything. But I couldn't tell them anything cuz I didn't know anything.
345 00:42:17,500 00:42:18,200 You know? You know?
346 00:42:18,200 00:42:19,197 I know. I know.
347 00:42:20,344 00:42:21,519 Did they hurt you? Did they hurt you?
348 00:42:21,900 00:42:24,097 I'm okay. Just scared I guess. I'm okay. Just scared I guess.
349 00:42:24,097 00:42:27,497 When they realized I couldn't help them, they left me there. When they realized I couldn't help them, they left me there.
350 00:42:28,100 00:42:30,187 I managed to wiggle myself loose, I managed to wiggle myself loose,
351 00:42:30,187 00:42:32,576 and rush over here to see if you were okay. and rush over here to see if you were okay.
352 00:42:34,200 00:42:38,432 Carol... You're wearing different clothes. Carol... You're wearing different clothes.
353 00:42:38,432 00:42:40,907 Well... I went home first... Well... I went home first...
354 00:42:40,907 00:42:43,381 cuz they kidnapped me while I was naked after all. cuz they kidnapped me while I was naked after all.
355 00:42:44,096 00:42:44,856 Of course. Of course.
356 00:42:45,438 00:42:47,348 Oh well, I'm glad you're okay. Oh well, I'm glad you're okay.
357 00:42:49,400 00:42:50,471 What are you doing? What are you doing?
358 00:42:51,400 00:42:54,098 I managed to put a tracking device in the base of the idol. I managed to put a tracking device in the base of the idol.
359 00:42:54,900 00:42:56,312 Really? Really?
360 00:42:56,312 00:42:57,876 I didn't know that. I didn't know that.
361 00:42:58,100 00:42:59,217 Well I did. Well I did.
362 00:42:59,217 00:43:01,034 But my tracking device is on the blank, But my tracking device is on the blank,
363 00:43:01,034 00:43:02,891 and I can't seem to get it to work. and I can't seem to get it to work.
364 00:43:03,350 00:43:04,450 Can you fix it? Can you fix it?
365 00:43:04,747 00:43:07,361 Maybe. I'm working on it. Maybe. I'm working on it.
366 00:43:08,450 00:43:09,984 Is there anything you can't do? Is there anything you can't do?
367 00:43:10,800 00:43:13,098 I can't give myself head... I can't give myself head...
368 00:43:13,149 00:43:14,649 ...but I'm working on that too. ...but I'm working on that too.
369 00:43:15,300 00:43:16,079 Really? Really?
370 00:43:17,250 00:43:19,130 No, that was a joke. No, that was a joke.
371 00:43:19,150 00:43:19,986 Oh. Oh.
372 00:43:20,300 00:43:21,000 [*someone's knocking at the door*] [*someone's knocking at the door*]
373 00:43:21,300 00:43:23,575 Do me a favor, go see who that is. Do me a favor, go see who that is.
374 00:43:23,575 00:43:24,471 Okay. Okay.
375 00:43:37,136 00:43:38,764 Look what I found. Look what I found.
376 00:43:42,250 00:43:44,097 Mark X. Mark X.
377 00:43:44,200 00:43:46,036 (Let me guess: you're here to help.) (Let me guess: you're here to help.)
378 00:43:46,200 00:43:47,652 You don't look happy to see me. You don't look happy to see me.
379 00:43:47,900 00:43:49,941 I don't have time for your CIA boy toy games. I don't have time for your CIA boy toy games.
380 00:43:49,941 00:43:51,399 I've got a lot of work to do here. I've got a lot of work to do here.
381 00:43:51,500 00:43:52,510 That's why I'm here. That's why I'm here.
382 00:43:52,650 00:43:54,937 Martin thought that I can work the bugs out of your tracking device. Martin thought that I can work the bugs out of your tracking device.
383 00:43:55,500 00:43:56,949 Knock yourself out. Knock yourself out.
384 00:43:59,100 00:44:00,650 What seems to be the trouble? What seems to be the trouble?
385 00:44:01,150 00:44:02,235 It's not working. It's not working.
386 00:44:03,895 00:44:05,196 I got that much. I got that much.
387 00:44:05,196 00:44:07,514 Did you... drop it, or... Did you... drop it, or...
388 00:44:07,550 00:44:10,338 Well, yeah. From about 50 feet up in the air. Well, yeah. From about 50 feet up in the air.
389 00:44:10,650 00:44:11,993 That sounds pretty reckless. That sounds pretty reckless.
390 00:44:13,100 00:44:14,062 Even from you. Even from you.
391 00:44:14,855 00:44:16,936 Well, when you're hanging by a toenail, Well, when you're hanging by a toenail,
392 00:44:16,936 00:44:19,730 butt-naked from a Portuguese hot-air balloon over Libya, butt-naked from a Portuguese hot-air balloon over Libya,
393 00:44:19,730 00:44:21,844 your set of priorities tends to change a bit. your set of priorities tends to change a bit.
394 00:44:22,157 00:44:23,322 I guess so. I guess so.
395 00:44:24,000 00:44:25,097 Nice view though, huh? Nice view though, huh?
396 00:44:25,750 00:44:26,949 No one complained. No one complained.
397 00:44:27,200 00:44:28,641 Yeah... Do you mind? Yeah... Do you mind?
398 00:44:29,185 00:44:30,147 (Go ahead.) (Go ahead.)
399 00:44:30,700 00:44:32,428 (I've got to take off for about an hour.) (I've got to take off for about an hour.)
400 00:44:33,250 00:44:34,912 Carol here will keep you company. Carol here will keep you company.
401 00:44:35,100 00:44:36,106 Where are you going? Where are you going?
402 00:44:36,450 00:44:39,818 Martin set me up with a certain Dr Xavier... Martin set me up with a certain Dr Xavier...
403 00:44:40,200 00:44:42,400 Seems I'm still a bit foggy up here. Seems I'm still a bit foggy up here.
404 00:44:42,700 00:44:44,788 Hopefully I'll have it up and running by the time you get back. Hopefully I'll have it up and running by the time you get back.
405 00:44:44,819 00:44:45,713 Good luck. Good luck.
406 00:44:48,500 00:44:51,020 Now... Let's see if we can fix this baby. Now... Let's see if we can fix this baby.
407 00:44:59,755 00:45:02,592 Why these places always have to be freezing. Why these places always have to be freezing.
408 00:45:03,500 00:45:06,996 Then they give you these stupid gowns with your butt hanging out. Then they give you these stupid gowns with your butt hanging out.
409 00:45:06,851 00:45:09,029 Pff. Honestly... Pff. Honestly...
410 00:45:14,100 00:45:15,745 So you're Dr Jones. So you're Dr Jones.
411 00:45:16,350 00:45:19,442 Uh... Doctor of ancient relics and archaeology. Uh... Doctor of ancient relics and archaeology.
412 00:45:19,442 00:45:20,815 Not a medical doctor. Not a medical doctor.
413 00:45:20,815 00:45:21,694 I'm relieved. I'm relieved.
414 00:45:21,877 00:45:24,200 For a moment I thought you were trying to treat yourself. For a moment I thought you were trying to treat yourself.
415 00:45:24,940 00:45:26,800 I'm Dr Xavier. I'm Dr Xavier.
416 00:45:27,500 00:45:29,964 Dr X? I like that. Dr X? I like that.
417 00:45:30,894 00:45:32,928 So what seems to be the trouble? So what seems to be the trouble?
418 00:45:34,450 00:45:36,232 Well this sounds crazy, Well this sounds crazy,
419 00:45:36,232 00:45:38,505 but I had this guy at gunpoint, but I had this guy at gunpoint,
420 00:45:38,505 00:45:43,063 oh, real numbskull, you know, IQ hovering around room temperature. oh, real numbskull, you know, IQ hovering around room temperature.
421 00:45:45,500 00:45:47,556 I think I know the type. I think I know the type.
422 00:45:47,700 00:45:48,587 Well... Well...
423 00:45:49,350 00:45:52,195 I've got the drop on this goon and I was I was about to handcuff his ass, I've got the drop on this goon and I was I was about to handcuff his ass,
424 00:45:52,195 00:45:53,880 when someone hit me from behind. when someone hit me from behind.
425 00:45:54,122 00:45:55,185 And then, when I woke up, And then, when I woke up,
426 00:45:55,185 00:45:56,753 I had a touch of... I had a touch of...
427 00:45:57,200 00:45:58,521 Amnesia? Amnesia?
428 00:46:00,400 00:46:01,546 I can't remember. I can't remember.
429 00:46:01,942 00:46:02,643 Hmmm... Hmmm...
430 00:46:03,295 00:46:04,197 Yeah... Yeah...
431 00:46:06,957 00:46:08,363 Take one of these. Take one of these.
432 00:46:09,000 00:46:09,767 This will help. This will help.
433 00:46:11,122 00:46:13,203 This will help me remember? This will help me remember?
434 00:46:13,754 00:46:15,250 Not exactly. Not exactly.
435 00:46:15,300 00:46:17,515 But it'll make the exam go by a lot easier. But it'll make the exam go by a lot easier.
436 00:46:19,960 00:46:21,878 Okay. I'm down for easy. Okay. I'm down for easy.
437 00:46:22,355 00:46:23,304 Now what? Now what?
438 00:46:23,700 00:46:24,749 Give it a moment. Give it a moment.
439 00:46:28,550 00:46:29,456 Oh.... Oh....
440 00:46:30,900 00:46:31,685 (Wooo...) (Wooo...)
441 00:46:32,500 00:46:34,735 It really... gives a kick. It really... gives a kick.
442 00:46:35,900 00:46:36,692 Oh... Oh...
443 00:46:39,050 00:46:41,588 I feel a mile high right now! I feel a mile high right now!
444 00:46:42,000 00:46:43,156 Good. Good.
445 00:46:43,607 00:46:45,481 Cuz we're gonna go on a little trip. Cuz we're gonna go on a little trip.
446 00:46:46,900 00:46:49,037 I'm tripping right now, Doctor. I'm tripping right now, Doctor.
447 00:46:49,250 00:46:51,290 Come on, how about some free love, huh? Come on, how about some free love, huh?
448 00:46:52,000 00:46:54,429 1960 style, yeah. 1960 style, yeah.
449 00:46:55,037 00:46:58,502 Well... We have a few hours until the plane leaves... Well... We have a few hours until the plane leaves...
450 00:46:58,502 00:47:00,823 I guess we can start the exam right now. I guess we can start the exam right now.
451 00:47:01,800 00:47:02,584 Doctor, Doctor,
452 00:47:02,814 00:47:05,765 I want you to start from top... to bottom. I want you to start from top... to bottom.
453 00:47:05,850 00:47:07,950 And don't leave anything out. And don't leave anything out.
454 00:47:08,500 00:47:10,511 Oh. I won't. Oh. I won't.
455 00:52:12,900 00:52:14,665 (Come on... Damnit...) (Come on... Damnit...)
456 00:52:15,100 00:52:16,919 Work your little son of a bitch. Work your little son of a bitch.
457 00:52:17,010 00:52:18,292 Still no luck? Still no luck?
458 00:52:19,196 00:52:21,490 It should be working, but it's not. It should be working, but it's not.
459 00:52:22,200 00:52:23,227 Too bad. Too bad.
460 00:52:25,600 00:52:27,723 Hey wait a minute... I see something. Hey wait a minute... I see something.
461 00:52:29,750 00:52:31,597 I might have found the problem. I might have found the problem.
462 00:52:32,132 00:52:33,056 What is it? What is it?
463 00:52:37,700 00:52:38,905 I think I got the bugs out. I think I got the bugs out.
464 00:52:41,300 00:52:41,700 [*beep*] [*beep*]
465 00:52:41,900 00:52:42,257 Yeah! Yeah!
466 00:52:43,000 00:52:43,922 It's working! It's working!
467 00:52:44,300 00:52:46,191 Can it locate the idol? Can it locate the idol?
468 00:52:46,200 00:52:49,537 It's searching. It's searching.
469 00:52:47,700 00:52:50,225 it's gonna take a little while for the gather of the satellite info, it's gonna take a little while for the gather of the satellite info,
470 00:52:50,900 00:52:52,160 and provide us a map. and provide us a map.
471 00:52:52,700 00:52:53,642 So now what? So now what?
472 00:52:54,300 00:52:57,030 Now we get this over to CIA headquarters, Now we get this over to CIA headquarters,
473 00:52:57,192 00:52:59,046 (and then Martin and the boys get on it.) (and then Martin and the boys get on it.)
474 00:52:59,300 00:53:00,071 Stop. Stop.
475 00:53:00,071 00:53:01,932 Shouldn't we wait for Dr Jones? Shouldn't we wait for Dr Jones?
476 00:53:01,932 00:53:03,249 It is her device. It is her device.
477 00:53:05,300 00:53:07,646 Yeah, maybe, but I hate waiting. Yeah, maybe, but I hate waiting.
478 00:53:09,014 00:53:10,252 I better call Martin. I better call Martin.
479 00:53:16,500 00:53:17,253 [*phone rings*] [*phone rings*]
480 00:53:18,150 00:53:19,277 Martin here. Martin here.
481 00:53:19,276 00:53:20,254 It's Mark. It's Mark.
482 00:53:20,400 00:53:21,630 I got the GPS working. I got the GPS working.
483 00:53:21,950 00:53:22,825 Great news. Great news.
484 00:53:23,000 00:53:24,300 Can you locate the idol? Can you locate the idol?
485 00:53:24,437 00:53:27,109 Not clear yet, but I think it's on its way to Moronica. Not clear yet, but I think it's on its way to Moronica.
486 00:53:28,600 00:53:30,050 Just what we suspected. Just what we suspected.
487 00:53:30,050 00:53:33,812 As soon as Dr Jones returns, I'll be on my way. As soon as Dr Jones returns, I'll be on my way.
488 00:53:34,696 00:53:36,747 One more thing: One more thing:
489 00:53:37,193 00:53:40,889 [*One cannot hear what Martin says*] [*One cannot hear what Martin says*]
490 00:53:41,300 00:53:42,007 Copy that. Copy that.
491 00:53:42,486 00:53:43,597 I'll handle it. I'll handle it.
492 00:53:44,750 00:53:45,937 What'd he say? What'd he say?
493 00:53:46,048 00:53:47,486 He says: He says:
494 00:53:48,300 00:53:49,100 We wait. We wait.
495 00:53:50,044 00:53:53,516 Well... Maybe I can help the time go quicker. Well... Maybe I can help the time go quicker.
496 00:53:57,223 00:53:59,838 Well I have been under a little stress lately... Well I have been under a little stress lately...
497 00:59:52,524 00:59:55,108 MORONICA MORONICA
498 01:00:02,015 01:00:05,034 Keep moving Dr Jones, just a few more miles. Keep moving Dr Jones, just a few more miles.
499 01:00:05,375 01:00:06,329 Bastard! Bastard!
500 01:00:07,000 01:00:08,703 You know you're not gonna get away with this. You know you're not gonna get away with this.
501 01:00:09,300 01:00:10,629 I already have. I already have.
502 01:00:10,600 01:00:13,090 Besides, you always wanted to see the temple of Eros, Besides, you always wanted to see the temple of Eros,
503 01:00:13,090 01:00:15,257 now you can. Up-close. now you can. Up-close.
504 01:00:15,500 01:00:16,100 Move it. Move it.
505 01:00:16,150 01:00:17,755 Quit jerking my chain! Quit jerking my chain!
506 01:00:18,200 01:00:19,115 Dude. Dude.
507 01:00:21,300 01:00:23,472 Mr Martin did have a message for you. Mr Martin did have a message for you.
508 01:00:23,472 01:00:24,998 I almost forgot to tell you. I almost forgot to tell you.
509 01:00:25,050 01:00:26,034 What was it about? What was it about?
510 01:00:27,500 01:00:28,603 Hum... Hum...
511 01:00:29,200 01:00:32,359 He said they found the "real" Carol Summers. He said they found the "real" Carol Summers.
512 01:00:32,700 01:00:34,700 Tied up in a warehouse in Hoboken. Tied up in a warehouse in Hoboken.
513 01:00:35,100 01:00:36,150 *** ***
514 01:00:36,600 01:00:37,486 (You were pretty clever.) (You were pretty clever.)
515 01:00:37,486 01:00:40,948 and your ploy to keep me here worked beautifully. and your ploy to keep me here worked beautifully.
516 01:00:41,600 01:00:43,401 Dr Jones isn't coming back, is she? Dr Jones isn't coming back, is she?
517 01:00:43,401 01:00:44,752 No, she's not. No, she's not.
518 01:00:44,752 01:00:47,033 She's probably halfway around the world by now. She's probably halfway around the world by now.
519 01:00:49,071 01:00:50,215 Well... Well...
520 01:00:50,800 01:00:52,950 Then I'll use this to find her, Then I'll use this to find her,
521 01:00:53,391 01:00:55,100 and effect a rescue. and effect a rescue.
522 01:00:55,950 01:00:56,921 What about me? What about me?
523 01:00:57,600 01:01:00,316 Oh I'll call Martin. Tell them where they can pick you up. Oh I'll call Martin. Tell them where they can pick you up.
524 01:01:01,050 01:01:02,300 It's been real, baby. It's been real, baby.
525 01:01:03,100 01:01:04,479 You bastard! You bastard!
526 01:01:07,400 01:01:08,545 Almost there. Almost there.
527 01:01:10,050 01:01:13,017 Somehow, it looked a lot more exotic in the brochure. Somehow, it looked a lot more exotic in the brochure.
528 01:01:13,170 01:01:14,443 That's not the ***, Doctor. That's not the ***, Doctor.
529 01:01:14,443 01:01:16,646 That is where we'll meet Mrs Evilla. That is where we'll meet Mrs Evilla.
530 01:01:16,797 01:01:17,254 Pff. Pff.
531 01:01:17,600 01:01:18,962 Not exactly a palace. Not exactly a palace.
532 01:01:19,400 01:01:20,500 Shut up and move. Shut up and move.
533 01:01:20,846 01:01:23,488 Tough talk, Mister. Hope you can back it up. Tough talk, Mister. Hope you can back it up.
534 01:01:44,531 01:01:45,557 Wow. Wow.
535 01:01:46,300 01:01:48,014 What a dump. What a dump.
536 01:01:48,450 01:01:50,179 And no homies either. And no homies either.
537 01:01:50,400 01:01:52,267 The monster keeps everyone away. The monster keeps everyone away.
538 01:01:52,688 01:01:54,643 This place has out of customer in years. This place has out of customer in years.
539 01:01:55,081 01:01:55,651 Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
540 01:01:55,900 01:01:59,672 Location. Location. Location. Location. Location. Location.
541 01:02:02,050 01:02:07,184 Which is why it is the perfect place for a rendezvous. Which is why it is the perfect place for a rendezvous.
542 01:02:07,553 01:02:10,512 So... Evilla Cruella. So... Evilla Cruella.
543 01:02:10,700 01:02:12,122 We meet at last. We meet at last.
544 01:02:12,750 01:02:15,598 Dr Jones. You let us on a merry game, Dr Jones. You let us on a merry game,
545 01:02:15,800 01:02:17,111 but it's over now. but it's over now.
546 01:02:17,850 01:02:20,129 I admit: you outsmarted me. I admit: you outsmarted me.
547 01:02:20,479 01:02:21,507 You win. You win.
548 01:02:22,000 01:02:23,641 Release her Drago. Release her Drago.
549 01:02:23,641 01:02:25,767 She has nowhere to run to. She has nowhere to run to.
550 01:02:25,798 01:02:27,916 I think you realize that now. I think you realize that now.
551 01:02:29,050 01:02:29,813 Thank you. Thank you.
552 01:02:30,700 01:02:32,520 It's beginning to get ring-around-the-collar. It's beginning to get ring-around-the-collar.
553 01:02:33,450 01:02:35,605 - Drink? - Make it a double. - Drink? - Make it a double.
554 01:02:39,529 01:02:40,609 Hmmm... Hmmm...
555 01:02:41,721 01:02:44,535 Dr Jones, you're a worthy opponent... Dr Jones, you're a worthy opponent...
556 01:02:45,073 01:02:47,428 and this doesn't have to end here. and this doesn't have to end here.
557 01:02:50,450 01:02:51,247 Do you tell? Do you tell?
558 01:02:51,254 01:02:53,266 When I'm crowned Empress of Moronica, When I'm crowned Empress of Moronica,
559 01:02:53,266 01:02:55,645 I'm gonna need a sharp mind like yours around. I'm gonna need a sharp mind like yours around.
560 01:02:55,900 01:02:58,554 One that knows her way around ancient treasures, One that knows her way around ancient treasures,
561 01:02:58,554 01:03:01,253 and can handle herself in tough situations. and can handle herself in tough situations.
562 01:03:05,300 01:03:07,410 Flattery will get you everything. Flattery will get you everything.
563 01:03:07,410 01:03:08,950 But it cames at a price. But it cames at a price.
564 01:03:12,050 01:03:14,242 We'll have all the money we desire. We'll have all the money we desire.
565 01:03:14,242 01:03:17,762 The ancient treasures of Aisha will be ours to plunder. The ancient treasures of Aisha will be ours to plunder.
566 01:03:20,700 01:03:21,757 I'm your girl. I'm your girl.
567 01:03:22,301 01:03:23,884 How do I know I can trust you? How do I know I can trust you?
568 01:03:24,553 01:03:25,888 All my... All my...
569 01:03:27,800 01:03:30,261 minions... have proved their loyalty to me. minions... have proved their loyalty to me.
570 01:03:31,600 01:03:33,407 How about... How about...
571 01:03:33,700 01:03:37,767 I put out like a dime-store diva à la tequila bender, huh? (***?) I put out like a dime-store diva à la tequila bender, huh? (***?)
572 01:03:38,500 01:03:39,690 Would that do it? Would that do it?
573 01:03:41,700 01:03:42,939 It's a start. It's a start.
574 01:03:43,700 01:03:44,395 Drago? Drago?
575 01:03:54,054 01:03:55,348 (I'll show you.) (I'll show you.)
576 01:10:17,650 01:10:18,462 Well? Well?
577 01:10:19,050 01:10:20,714 I think I know where the temple is. I think I know where the temple is.
578 01:10:21,500 01:10:23,796 (First, you took a right and then the left,) (First, you took a right and then the left,)
579 01:10:24,000 01:10:25,963 and then another right, and the left, and then another right, and the left,
580 01:10:25,963 01:10:27,216 and then you go straight. and then you go straight.
581 01:10:27,500 01:10:28,909 So what's left? So what's left?
582 01:10:29,050 01:10:30,330 No. It's right. No. It's right.
583 01:10:30,950 01:10:32,068 What's right? What's right?
584 01:10:32,050 01:10:34,039 No, left. The left is right. No, left. The left is right.
585 01:10:34,779 01:10:37,124 The left is right? The left is right?
586 01:10:37,300 01:10:38,017 Right. Right.
587 01:10:38,250 01:10:40,104 Can we just go now? Can we just go now?
588 01:10:40,700 01:10:41,702 Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. Let's go.
589 01:11:14,700 01:11:15,747 [*The monster roars*] [*The monster roars*]
590 01:11:21,400 01:11:22,691 - Jones! - What? - Jones! - What?
591 01:11:23,000 01:11:23,823 This way! This way!
592 01:11:29,300 01:11:30,149 Finally. Finally.
593 01:11:30,300 01:11:32,059 I knew the left was actually a right, I knew the left was actually a right,
594 01:11:32,059 01:11:33,154 and the right was right, and the right was right,
595 01:11:33,154 01:11:34,080 and give him the wrong left. (***?) and give him the wrong left. (***?)
596 01:11:34,800 01:11:35,913 That's the temple of Eros? That's the temple of Eros?
597 01:11:36,290 01:11:38,031 Or a *** fried chicken? Or a *** fried chicken?
598 01:11:38,450 01:11:40,521 Come on! What are you waiting for? Let's go! Come on! What are you waiting for? Let's go!
599 01:11:46,800 01:11:47,942 I must say: I must say:
600 01:11:48,400 01:11:50,697 I thought it would be a bit grander. I thought it would be a bit grander.
601 01:11:51,950 01:11:52,658 Look! Look!
602 01:11:52,700 01:11:53,246 (Oh!) (Oh!)
603 01:11:53,246 01:11:54,663 (The Tiara of Aisha!) (The Tiara of Aisha!)
604 01:11:55,200 01:11:57,189 The key of the kingdom of Moronica. The key of the kingdom of Moronica.
605 01:12:06,200 01:12:07,107 Here. Here.
606 01:12:06,994 01:12:08,402 Let's try it out for size. Let's try it out for size.
607 01:12:09,800 01:12:11,829 Well... If you insist... Well... If you insist...
608 01:12:13,178 01:12:15,514 Not so fast. Not so fast.
609 01:12:16,650 01:12:17,557 Damnit. Damnit.
610 01:12:17,600 01:12:18,612 I'll take that. I'll take that.
611 01:12:24,000 01:12:26,361 Well it probably looks better on you anyway. Well it probably looks better on you anyway.
612 01:12:27,750 01:12:29,126 I don't think so. I don't think so.
613 01:12:30,083 01:12:31,889 Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch!
614 01:12:33,000 01:12:34,055 I'll take that. I'll take that.
615 01:12:37,200 01:12:38,818 Lucky for us you came along. Lucky for us you came along.
616 01:12:39,300 01:12:40,456 Don't be so sure. Don't be so sure.
617 01:12:40,500 01:12:41,333 (Get your hands up.) (Get your hands up.)
618 01:12:41,333 01:12:42,022 (All of you.) (All of you.)
619 01:12:44,500 01:12:45,347 (Mr Martin,) (Mr Martin,)
620 01:12:45,347 01:12:46,156 You? You?
621 01:12:46,643 01:12:48,647 Yes, me. Yes, me.
622 01:12:48,900 01:12:50,118 You think I'm an idiot? You think I'm an idiot?
623 01:12:50,950 01:12:53,183 (I let you, imbeciles, do all the heavy lifting.) (I let you, imbeciles, do all the heavy lifting.)
624 01:12:54,150 01:12:55,142 Now... Now...
625 01:12:55,500 01:12:58,375 It is my day in the sun. It is my day in the sun.
626 01:12:59,250 01:13:00,723 You mean...? You mean...?
627 01:13:01,000 01:13:02,239 Yes. Yes.
628 01:13:02,574 01:13:05,357 Dr Jones, you hit the nail on the head, Dr Jones, you hit the nail on the head,
629 01:13:05,357 01:13:07,272 (when you said "anyone",) (when you said "anyone",)
630 01:13:07,272 01:13:08,947 even me, even me,
631 01:13:08,947 01:13:11,126 could become Empress of Moronica, could become Empress of Moronica,
632 01:13:11,126 01:13:15,368 if they had the Tiara of Aisha. if they had the Tiara of Aisha.
633 01:13:16,300 01:13:18,100 And now you have it. And now you have it.
634 01:13:18,200 01:13:19,210 That's right... That's right...
635 01:13:19,585 01:13:24,000 and I am now the Empress of Moronica. and I am now the Empress of Moronica.
636 01:13:27,800 01:13:28,514 Oh... Oh...
637 01:13:30,000 01:13:31,679 Oh I feel so pretty... Oh I feel so pretty...
638 01:13:31,679 01:13:33,034 So pretty! So pretty!
639 01:13:35,100 01:13:35,911 Say it! Say it!
640 01:13:36,350 01:13:36,859 Yep. Yep.
641 01:13:36,888 01:13:38,770 You're pretty alright. You're pretty alright.
642 01:13:39,100 01:13:41,056 Yeah, very pretty. Yeah, very pretty.
643 01:13:41,792 01:13:43,712 No doubt, a real looker. No doubt, a real looker.
644 01:13:45,000 01:13:46,189 Damn right I am. Damn right I am.
645 01:13:47,950 01:13:49,816 Well... Well...
646 01:13:49,816 01:13:50,839 Good night. Good night.
647 01:13:53,150 01:13:55,256 That was seriously fucked up. That was seriously fucked up.
648 01:13:55,549 01:13:57,043 Let's get him. Let's get him.
649 01:14:04,250 01:14:06,554 [*Monster roars*] [*Monster roars*]
650 01:14:10,645 01:14:14,102 You can't eat me. I'm too pretty. You can't eat me. I'm too pretty.
651 01:14:18,000 01:14:18,830 [*gunshots*] [*gunshots*]
652 01:14:26,050 01:14:27,050 Wow... Wow...
653 01:14:27,850 01:14:29,381 Well... Well...
654 01:14:29,381 01:14:30,629 I guess that's it for him. I guess that's it for him.
655 01:14:31,150 01:14:33,086 There goes the Tiara. There goes the Tiara.
656 01:14:33,600 01:14:36,168 He truly was queen for a day. He truly was queen for a day.
657 01:14:37,250 01:14:38,997 Hey that thing's got a poop some time. Hey that thing's got a poop some time.
658 01:14:40,681 01:14:42,858 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
659 01:14:42,900 01:14:44,967 First one in the poop gets a prize. First one in the poop gets a prize.
660 01:14:50,100 01:14:51,245 Which one follows? Which one follows?
661 01:14:51,500 01:14:54,732 That's an adventure best left for another day. That's an adventure best left for another day.
662 01:14:55,201 01:14:57,531 Finally, we both agree on something. Finally, we both agree on something.
663 01:15:03,651 01:15:06,947 I have no intention of becoming queen of the morons. I have no intention of becoming queen of the morons.
664 01:15:07,350 01:15:08,970 That's your job. That's your job.
665 01:15:15,200 01:15:17,242 I work for the rightful owner of that idol: I work for the rightful owner of that idol:
666 01:15:17,242 01:15:20,579 Evilla Cruella. The heir to the Empire Moronica. Evilla Cruella. The heir to the Empire Moronica.
667 01:15:26,500 01:15:29,977 I will have that idol ***. I will have that idol ***.
668 01:15:42,200 01:15:45,016 But I couldn't tell them anything cuz I didn't know anything. But I couldn't tell them anything cuz I didn't know anything.
669 01:15:45,016 01:15:45,835 You know? You know?
670 01:15:55,680 01:15:57,183 I think I got the bugs out. I think I got the bugs out.
671 01:16:02,800 01:16:03,853 That's right. That's right.
672 01:16:04,200 01:16:05,815 I saw you on the second floor. I saw you on the second floor.
673 01:16:06,245 01:16:07,524 Oh... I feel so pretty. Oh... I feel so pretty.
673 01:16:06,245 01:16:07,524 Oh... I feel so pretty. Oh... I feel so pretty.