# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:04,540 00:00:07,670 [lounge music] [lounge music]
2 00:00:07,700 00:00:13,650 # # # #
3 00:00:20,370 00:00:22,800 [clears throat] [clears throat]
4 00:00:25,070 00:00:28,170 [ice crunching] [ice crunching]
5 00:00:28,200 00:00:34,150 # # # #
6 00:00:36,140 00:00:39,270 Welcome to L'Orange. I'll be your server, Kyle. Welcome to L'Orange. I'll be your server, Kyle.
7 00:00:39,300 00:00:42,300 - Our specials tonight... - Damn it, Kyle, are you blind? - Our specials tonight... - Damn it, Kyle, are you blind?
8 00:00:42,340 00:00:43,900 We're in the middle of a conversation. We're in the middle of a conversation.
9 00:00:43,940 00:00:46,300 I'm so sorry. [sighs] I'm so sorry. [sighs]
10 00:00:46,340 00:00:47,740 I'll come back. I'll come back.
11 00:00:50,770 00:00:54,969 Actually, I kinda wish we'd heard the specials now. [sighs] Actually, I kinda wish we'd heard the specials now. [sighs]
12 00:00:54,970 00:00:57,570 This is fun. So fun, right? This is fun. So fun, right?
13 00:00:59,700 00:01:02,640 [main title theme] [main title theme]
14 00:01:02,670 00:01:05,525 # # # #
15 00:01:33,305 00:01:36,483 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~
16 00:01:40,140 00:01:42,840 Robert: This was a doozy of an idea, Archer. Robert: This was a doozy of an idea, Archer.
17 00:01:42,870 00:01:44,670 I just love double dates. I just love double dates.
18 00:01:44,700 00:01:46,270 You're at a restaurant, Robert. You're at a restaurant, Robert.
19 00:01:46,300 00:01:48,800 We can trade money for food here. We can trade money for food here.
20 00:01:48,840 00:01:49,999 Sorry about that, Gabrielle. Sorry about that, Gabrielle.
21 00:01:50,000 00:01:52,240 At his age, Robert gets confused easily. At his age, Robert gets confused easily.
22 00:01:52,270 00:01:54,570 If it's not painfully obvious yet, If it's not painfully obvious yet,
23 00:01:54,600 00:01:57,200 Archer is incredibly jealous of my husband. Archer is incredibly jealous of my husband.
24 00:01:57,240 00:01:59,000 Oh, yeah, I-I desperately wish Oh, yeah, I-I desperately wish
25 00:01:59,040 00:02:01,270 I had liver spots and eyebrows like haystacks. I had liver spots and eyebrows like haystacks.
26 00:02:01,300 00:02:03,369 - You know what? - Look, why don't we just - You know what? - Look, why don't we just
27 00:02:03,404 00:02:04,740 acknowledge the elephant in the room? acknowledge the elephant in the room?
28 00:02:04,770 00:02:06,940 That you have borderline personality disorder That you have borderline personality disorder
29 00:02:06,970 00:02:10,270 - and desperately need help? - I was talking, Lana, - and desperately need help? - I was talking, Lana,
30 00:02:10,300 00:02:13,140 about how incredibly gorgeous Gabrielle looks tonight. about how incredibly gorgeous Gabrielle looks tonight.
31 00:02:13,170 00:02:15,970 It's like somebody stuffed 103 pounds of "ka-kow" It's like somebody stuffed 103 pounds of "ka-kow"
32 00:02:16,000 00:02:19,940 - into a red golf sock. - I couldn't agree more. - into a red golf sock. - I couldn't agree more.
33 00:02:19,970 00:02:23,140 - You look gorgeous, Gabrielle. - Uh, honey, shut up. - You look gorgeous, Gabrielle. - Uh, honey, shut up.
34 00:02:23,175 00:02:25,840 So how did you two meet? So how did you two meet?
35 00:02:25,870 00:02:27,870 We met in a study my university is conducting We met in a study my university is conducting
36 00:02:27,900 00:02:30,240 for individuals who have been in a coma. for individuals who have been in a coma.
37 00:02:30,270 00:02:32,200 - Catch that, Lana? - That you have brain damage? - Catch that, Lana? - That you have brain damage?
38 00:02:32,240 00:02:35,540 No, I mean the part where Gabrielle is a scientist? No, I mean the part where Gabrielle is a scientist?
39 00:02:35,570 00:02:39,700 - Oh, are you in science as well? - [laughs] That's funny. - Oh, are you in science as well? - [laughs] That's funny.
40 00:02:39,740 00:02:42,100 You see, Lana's parents desperately wanted her You see, Lana's parents desperately wanted her
41 00:02:42,140 00:02:43,970 to be a scientist, but she hated them. to be a scientist, but she hated them.
42 00:02:44,000 00:02:45,700 - And now they're dead. - They're not dead. - And now they're dead. - They're not dead.
43 00:02:45,740 00:02:47,700 How would you know? You're not a scientist. How would you know? You're not a scientist.
44 00:02:47,740 00:02:51,100 You know, one of my foundations is involved in neuroscience, You know, one of my foundations is involved in neuroscience,
45 00:02:51,140 00:02:54,000 and we just did a study on memory-mapping neurons. and we just did a study on memory-mapping neurons.
46 00:02:54,040 00:02:56,100 Oh, I just read about that! Oh, I just read about that!
47 00:02:56,140 00:02:58,200 Let me ask you, did you agree with their findings Let me ask you, did you agree with their findings
48 00:02:58,240 00:03:01,116 - on spatially tuned memory trace cells? - Slow down. - on spatially tuned memory trace cells? - Slow down.
49 00:03:01,151 00:03:03,100 Who am I, Andrew Fielding Huxley? Who am I, Andrew Fielding Huxley?
50 00:03:03,140 00:03:05,570 [both laugh] [both laugh]
51 00:03:05,600 00:03:07,540 Gosh, oh, that's good. Gosh, oh, that's good.
52 00:03:07,570 00:03:10,270 So have we decided on a first course? So have we decided on a first course?
53 00:03:10,300 00:03:11,840 I actually need a little more time. I actually need a little more time.
54 00:03:11,870 00:03:13,570 But, Lana, you're probably fine But, Lana, you're probably fine
55 00:03:13,600 00:03:15,240 with the first thing you see, right? with the first thing you see, right?
56 00:03:15,270 00:03:17,700 - [hits table] - I'm just... [groans] - [hits table] - I'm just... [groans]
57 00:03:17,740 00:03:21,299 going to go to the ladies' room. Excuse me. going to go to the ladies' room. Excuse me.
58 00:03:21,300 00:03:24,570 - Oh, I'll join you. - [sighs] Great. - Oh, I'll join you. - [sighs] Great.
59 00:03:24,600 00:03:27,000 Don't take too long, or I might fall in love with Robert. Don't take too long, or I might fall in love with Robert.
60 00:03:27,040 00:03:29,670 You know how fast it can happen! You know how fast it can happen!
61 00:03:29,700 00:03:31,700 Ha, I was joking, obviously, Robert. Ha, I was joking, obviously, Robert.
62 00:03:31,740 00:03:33,770 The eyebrows are a deal breaker. The eyebrows are a deal breaker.
63 00:03:34,400 00:03:38,200 - Oh, this is a beautiful restaurant. - Mm-hmm. - Oh, this is a beautiful restaurant. - Mm-hmm.
64 00:03:38,240 00:03:40,700 Robert's great. You're so lucky. Robert's great. You're so lucky.
65 00:03:40,740 00:03:42,870 - Uh-huh. - So... - Uh-huh. - So...
66 00:03:42,900 00:03:47,070 - you know Archer from work? - [laughs] What? - you know Archer from work? - [laughs] What?
67 00:03:47,100 00:03:48,840 Wait a minute. You're joking, right? Wait a minute. You're joking, right?
68 00:03:48,870 00:03:51,200 Archer didn't tell you anything about us? Archer didn't tell you anything about us?
69 00:03:51,240 00:03:52,670 Oh, just that you work together, Oh, just that you work together,
70 00:03:52,700 00:03:53,969 that you're married to Robert, that you're married to Robert,
71 00:03:53,970 00:03:55,740 that your jaw makes this clicking sound that your jaw makes this clicking sound
72 00:03:55,770 00:03:58,714 - when you chew like... [clicking tongue] - Mm. - when you chew like... [clicking tongue] - Mm.
73 00:03:58,740 00:04:01,240 He didn't mention that we, uh, I don't know, He didn't mention that we, uh, I don't know,
74 00:04:01,270 00:04:04,840 - have a child together? - Get out of town! - have a child together? - Get out of town!
75 00:04:04,870 00:04:06,270 You're AJ's mom? You're AJ's mom?
76 00:04:06,305 00:04:08,070 [groans] [groans]
77 00:04:08,100 00:04:10,000 Robert: So how's work, Archer? Robert: So how's work, Archer?
78 00:04:10,040 00:04:11,680 Hey, Robert, don't take this personally, Hey, Robert, don't take this personally,
79 00:04:11,710 00:04:13,670 but there's no way I'm making small talk with you. but there's no way I'm making small talk with you.
80 00:04:13,694 00:04:15,700 Just quietly stare at a candle or something. Just quietly stare at a candle or something.
81 00:04:15,740 00:04:20,140 Hey... that Gabrielle. [wolf whistle] Hey... that Gabrielle. [wolf whistle]
82 00:04:20,170 00:04:22,800 We sure got a type. Rawr! We sure got a type. Rawr!
83 00:04:22,840 00:04:25,600 Seeing them walk off together now, I was just like, Seeing them walk off together now, I was just like,
84 00:04:25,640 00:04:28,870 "I wouldn't mind being the cream in that double espresso!" "I wouldn't mind being the cream in that double espresso!"
85 00:04:28,900 00:04:31,870 - [laughs] - Hmm. - [laughs] - Hmm.
86 00:04:31,900 00:04:35,740 I've dabbled quite a bit in the exotic arts, as they say. I've dabbled quite a bit in the exotic arts, as they say.
87 00:04:35,770 00:04:37,540 Oh, God, please, no. Oh, God, please, no.
88 00:04:37,570 00:04:39,090 So you're telling me you're not upset So you're telling me you're not upset
89 00:04:39,120 00:04:40,660 that Archer didn't mention that your first date that Archer didn't mention that your first date
90 00:04:40,690 00:04:42,700 was going to include the mother of his child? was going to include the mother of his child?
91 00:04:42,740 00:04:44,140 After all he's been through, After all he's been through,
92 00:04:44,170 00:04:47,700 - I'm sure it just slipped his mind. - Or he's a lunatic. - I'm sure it just slipped his mind. - Or he's a lunatic.
93 00:04:47,740 00:04:49,870 I mean, clearly he asked you out because... I mean, clearly he asked you out because...
94 00:04:49,900 00:04:52,070 - [snorts] Well... - Well, what? - [snorts] Well... - Well, what?
95 00:04:52,100 00:04:54,270 Oh, come on, he's trying to send a message Oh, come on, he's trying to send a message
96 00:04:54,300 00:04:57,570 that he found a stand-in, you know, for, uh... for this. that he found a stand-in, you know, for, uh... for this.
97 00:04:57,600 00:05:01,070 A stand-in? Oh, did you go to Yale too? A stand-in? Oh, did you go to Yale too?
98 00:05:01,100 00:05:03,000 No. I mean, I'm sure I could have. No. I mean, I'm sure I could have.
99 00:05:03,040 00:05:06,570 - But you have two PhDs, I bet. - Well, no, not two. - But you have two PhDs, I bet. - Well, no, not two.
100 00:05:06,600 00:05:08,270 No, I have... I have... I have just the one. No, I have... I have... I have just the one.
101 00:05:08,300 00:05:10,570 Oh, I see, so you don't mean "stand-in" Oh, I see, so you don't mean "stand-in"
102 00:05:10,600 00:05:12,270 as much as you mean "upgrade." as much as you mean "upgrade."
103 00:05:12,300 00:05:15,000 [woman clears throat] Excuse me. [woman clears throat] Excuse me.
104 00:05:15,040 00:05:16,269 - There! There you go! - [gasps] What are you doing? - There! There you go! - [gasps] What are you doing?
105 00:05:16,270 00:05:17,569 - Now you're all wet. - Ugh! - Now you're all wet. - Ugh!
106 00:05:17,570 00:05:19,570 Isn't that what you wanted? Isn't that what you wanted?
107 00:05:19,600 00:05:23,200 And sure enough, we made love right there in the jazz club. And sure enough, we made love right there in the jazz club.
108 00:05:23,240 00:05:25,700 And to this day, I can't even hear And to this day, I can't even hear
109 00:05:25,740 00:05:28,240 a muted trumpet without getting erect! a muted trumpet without getting erect!
110 00:05:28,270 00:05:29,870 [mimics trumpet fanfare] [mimics trumpet fanfare]
111 00:05:29,900 00:05:31,269 What a great story, Robert. What a great story, Robert.
112 00:05:31,270 00:05:33,840 I just wish it could've been louder and grosser. I just wish it could've been louder and grosser.
113 00:05:33,870 00:05:36,670 Kyle! Do us a favor and put our food in, would ya? Kyle! Do us a favor and put our food in, would ya?
114 00:05:36,700 00:05:40,100 - Absolutely. What would you like? - You order for us, Kyle. - Absolutely. What would you like? - You order for us, Kyle.
115 00:05:40,140 00:05:44,270 I'm talkin' apps, entr�es... the whole nine yards. I'm talkin' apps, entr�es... the whole nine yards.
116 00:05:44,300 00:05:46,100 You're trusting Kyle to pick our food? You're trusting Kyle to pick our food?
117 00:05:46,140 00:05:47,840 The entirety of his life's decisions The entirety of his life's decisions
118 00:05:47,870 00:05:52,100 have led him to this job and that haircut. No offense, Kyle. have led him to this job and that haircut. No offense, Kyle.
119 00:05:52,140 00:05:55,270 Hey, there they are, the two prettiest ladies in the joint. Hey, there they are, the two prettiest ladies in the joint.
120 00:05:55,300 00:05:58,240 Or more specifically, a clear number one Or more specifically, a clear number one
121 00:05:58,270 00:06:00,940 and a not-as-well-read, big-boned runner-up. and a not-as-well-read, big-boned runner-up.
122 00:06:00,970 00:06:03,100 You know what? Let me ask you a question. You know what? Let me ask you a question.
123 00:06:03,140 00:06:05,100 What the hell are you doing? What the hell are you doing?
124 00:06:05,140 00:06:07,940 You're supposed to be staking out Victor Cherenenko. You're supposed to be staking out Victor Cherenenko.
125 00:06:07,970 00:06:10,240 Will you two be joining the table? Will you two be joining the table?
126 00:06:10,270 00:06:11,658 - No, definitely not. - We were just leaving. - No, definitely not. - We were just leaving.
127 00:06:11,693 00:06:13,969 - Sure. - Gabrielle, you could scooch in next to me. - Sure. - Gabrielle, you could scooch in next to me.
128 00:06:13,970 00:06:17,269 - Ooh, who's Victor Cherenenko? - Oh, Russian hacker, - Ooh, who's Victor Cherenenko? - Oh, Russian hacker,
129 00:06:17,270 00:06:19,570 one of Interpol's most wanted, Gabrielle. one of Interpol's most wanted, Gabrielle.
130 00:06:19,600 00:06:23,240 Huge reward out for him. And I am the one responsible... Huge reward out for him. And I am the one responsible...
131 00:06:23,370 00:06:26,300 Actually, I'm in charge of the mission. Actually, I'm in charge of the mission.
132 00:06:26,340 00:06:29,340 - How are you? Cyril Figgis. - Calm down, Cyril. - How are you? Cyril Figgis. - Calm down, Cyril.
133 00:06:29,370 00:06:31,900 You're getting desperation all over my hot scientist. You're getting desperation all over my hot scientist.
134 00:06:31,940 00:06:34,370 I probably shouldn't be showing you this. I probably shouldn't be showing you this.
135 00:06:34,400 00:06:37,100 You look like someone who can be trusted. You look like someone who can be trusted.
136 00:06:37,140 00:06:39,260 See, for years, no one has been able to find this guy, See, for years, no one has been able to find this guy,
137 00:06:39,284 00:06:41,670 but recently he's been popping his head up in public. but recently he's been popping his head up in public.
138 00:06:41,700 00:06:43,840 So as team leader, I took it upon myself So as team leader, I took it upon myself
139 00:06:43,870 00:06:46,940 to synthesize data from his financial records, and ta-da. to synthesize data from his financial records, and ta-da.
140 00:06:46,970 00:06:50,240 You were able to produce that wet diaper of a worthless dossier. You were able to produce that wet diaper of a worthless dossier.
141 00:06:50,270 00:06:51,310 The thing says Cherenenko The thing says Cherenenko
142 00:06:51,311 00:06:55,670 - is a regular at this place, and yet... - Hey, isn't that him? Cherenenko? - is a regular at this place, and yet... - Hey, isn't that him? Cherenenko?
143 00:06:55,700 00:06:58,200 Cyril: You see that, Archer? I was right. Cyril: You see that, Archer? I was right.
144 00:06:58,240 00:07:01,240 - He's here after all. - I mean, it doesn't take that much - He's here after all. - I mean, it doesn't take that much
145 00:07:01,270 00:07:02,770 to look at a credit card statement to look at a credit card statement
146 00:07:02,800 00:07:05,200 and see that guy comes to a restaurant a lot and see that guy comes to a restaurant a lot
147 00:07:05,240 00:07:06,970 - and that... - God damn it, Archer! - and that... - God damn it, Archer!
148 00:07:07,000 00:07:10,020 Wow, this is so exciting! So what do we do now? Wow, this is so exciting! So what do we do now?
149 00:07:10,021 00:07:12,700 - Like, go detain him? - [laughs] Oh, man. - Like, go detain him? - [laughs] Oh, man.
150 00:07:12,740 00:07:14,180 Guess they don't teach you everything Guess they don't teach you everything
151 00:07:14,210 00:07:17,340 - in neurobiology school. - Well, no, obviously not. - in neurobiology school. - Well, no, obviously not.
152 00:07:17,370 00:07:20,070 As much as I love taking advice on spycraft As much as I love taking advice on spycraft
153 00:07:20,100 00:07:22,840 from civilians, you can't just go up and detain from civilians, you can't just go up and detain
154 00:07:22,870 00:07:25,070 a guy with an armed bodyguard protecting him. a guy with an armed bodyguard protecting him.
155 00:07:25,100 00:07:26,269 Lana's right. Lana's right.
156 00:07:26,270 00:07:28,040 Even if we took the bodyguard out, Even if we took the bodyguard out,
157 00:07:28,070 00:07:30,800 we'd have 50 Russian goons on our doorstep we'd have 50 Russian goons on our doorstep
158 00:07:30,840 00:07:32,149 looking for blood in the morning. looking for blood in the morning.
159 00:07:32,150 00:07:33,533 Uh, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Uh, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
160 00:07:33,534 00:07:35,200 So the plan is, we go over... So the plan is, we go over...
161 00:07:35,240 00:07:37,800 Excuse me, I'm in charge, and as such, Excuse me, I'm in charge, and as such,
162 00:07:37,840 00:07:40,700 I have constructed our apprehension strategy. I have constructed our apprehension strategy.
163 00:07:40,740 00:07:42,970 Okay, we wait for him to leave, and we tail him. Okay, we wait for him to leave, and we tail him.
164 00:07:43,000 00:07:44,239 Then we find an opportunity Then we find an opportunity
165 00:07:44,240 00:07:46,070 to separate him from his bodyguard, to separate him from his bodyguard,
166 00:07:46,100 00:07:48,340 lure him somewhere quiet, and bring him down. lure him somewhere quiet, and bring him down.
167 00:07:48,370 00:07:51,300 Voil�. A classic Figgis. Voil�. A classic Figgis.
168 00:07:51,340 00:07:53,970 I thought a classic Figgis was when you get I thought a classic Figgis was when you get
169 00:07:54,000 00:07:56,080 your genitals caught in the zipper of a sleeping bag. your genitals caught in the zipper of a sleeping bag.
170 00:07:56,100 00:07:57,820 You know very well that wasn't user error. You know very well that wasn't user error.
171 00:07:57,840 00:07:59,840 There was a factory recall! There was a factory recall!
172 00:07:59,870 00:08:01,390 I'm going to the men's room real quick. I'm going to the men's room real quick.
173 00:08:01,414 00:08:04,123 Don't do anything without me. Don't do anything without me.
174 00:08:04,700 00:08:08,670 So, Gabrielle, how do you feel about jazz? So, Gabrielle, how do you feel about jazz?
175 00:08:08,700 00:08:09,869 [urinal flushes] [urinal flushes]
176 00:08:09,870 00:08:13,340 - And how are you this evening, sir? - Very well, thank you. - And how are you this evening, sir? - Very well, thank you.
177 00:08:13,370 00:08:16,370 I actually just had a, uh, pretty big professional victory. I actually just had a, uh, pretty big professional victory.
178 00:08:16,400 00:08:18,040 - [faucet running] - That is wonderful, sir. - [faucet running] - That is wonderful, sir.
179 00:08:18,070 00:08:19,830 Thanks. You know that feeling when you take Thanks. You know that feeling when you take
180 00:08:19,854 00:08:22,170 a big step forward at work and people notice? a big step forward at work and people notice?
181 00:08:22,200 00:08:24,940 Yes, sir. Very magical, sir. Yes, sir. Very magical, sir.
182 00:08:24,970 00:08:28,999 Oh, uh, I left my wallet in my jacket, and I'll just... Oh, uh, I left my wallet in my jacket, and I'll just...
183 00:08:29,000 00:08:30,870 [urinal flushes] Good call. I'm on a diet. [urinal flushes] Good call. I'm on a diet.
184 00:08:34,670 00:08:36,640 May I offer you a towel? May I offer you a towel?
185 00:08:36,670 00:08:37,839 Hey, excuse me, sir... Hey, excuse me, sir...
186 00:08:37,840 00:08:39,970 - [blow lands] - [grunts] - [blow lands] - [grunts]
187 00:08:40,000 00:08:41,700 [grunts] [blow lands] [grunts] [blow lands]
188 00:08:41,740 00:08:44,200 [dramatic music] [dramatic music]
189 00:08:44,240 00:08:46,770 [groans] [groans]
190 00:08:48,520 00:08:51,160 [moaning] [moaning]
191 00:08:51,190 00:08:54,220 Ooh, he's really giving it to her. Ooh, he's really giving it to her.
192 00:08:54,360 00:08:56,615 - [gasps] - Malory: They're leaving. - [gasps] - Malory: They're leaving.
193 00:08:56,650 00:08:58,560 Lana: Perfect, when they get outside, we follow them. Lana: Perfect, when they get outside, we follow them.
194 00:08:58,590 00:09:00,920 Gabrielle, I'm sorry to tell you, Gabrielle, I'm sorry to tell you,
195 00:09:00,960 00:09:03,060 but you're about to dive headfirst but you're about to dive headfirst
196 00:09:03,090 00:09:05,990 into a high-speed chase, so buckle up. into a high-speed chase, so buckle up.
197 00:09:06,020 00:09:07,420 Shouldn't we just leave her here? Shouldn't we just leave her here?
198 00:09:07,460 00:09:09,420 No, Lana, I'm sorry you're threatened No, Lana, I'm sorry you're threatened
199 00:09:09,460 00:09:12,290 because Gabrielle is so smart and accomplished and... because Gabrielle is so smart and accomplished and...
200 00:09:12,320 00:09:15,160 - Hot. - Thank you, horny new guy. - Hot. - Thank you, horny new guy.
201 00:09:15,190 00:09:16,305 We are not ditching her. We are not ditching her.
202 00:09:16,306 00:09:19,260 Here, put this on, Gabrielle. I wouldn't want you to catch cold. Here, put this on, Gabrielle. I wouldn't want you to catch cold.
203 00:09:19,290 00:09:21,520 You should, uh, put this on to, um, You should, uh, put this on to, um,
204 00:09:21,560 00:09:26,290 cover up your hideous... elbows. cover up your hideous... elbows.
205 00:09:26,320 00:09:28,160 Ya had trouble finding something, didn't ya? Ya had trouble finding something, didn't ya?
206 00:09:28,190 00:09:30,460 Shut up, Lana! Shut up, Lana!
207 00:09:30,490 00:09:34,120 [lively jazz music] [lively jazz music]
208 00:09:34,160 00:09:35,990 Hold on. Hold on.
209 00:09:37,920 00:09:39,860 All right, go! Everybody into my car. All right, go! Everybody into my car.
210 00:09:39,890 00:09:42,890 Cyril: Good news. The bodyguard is now locked Cyril: Good news. The bodyguard is now locked
211 00:09:42,920 00:09:45,290 in a bathroom supply... closet. in a bathroom supply... closet.
212 00:09:45,320 00:09:48,560 [sighs] It's my mission. [sighs] It's my mission.
213 00:09:48,590 00:09:51,020 Okay, so here we have the first courses, Okay, so here we have the first courses,
214 00:09:51,060 00:09:54,460 fried lobster in puff pastry over four-cheese grits. fried lobster in puff pastry over four-cheese grits.
215 00:09:54,490 00:09:58,260 [crying] [crying]
216 00:09:58,290 00:09:59,850 - [engine revving] - All right, Gabrielle, - [engine revving] - All right, Gabrielle,
217 00:09:59,874 00:10:01,420 get ready for the ride of your... get ready for the ride of your...
218 00:10:01,460 00:10:03,420 [tires squealing] [tires squealing]
219 00:10:03,460 00:10:05,020 [tires screeching] [tires screeching]
220 00:10:05,060 00:10:08,190 - Life. [horns honking] - Uh, what did he just say? - Life. [horns honking] - Uh, what did he just say?
221 00:10:08,220 00:10:09,860 Life, Robert! He said life! Life, Robert! He said life!
222 00:10:09,890 00:10:11,410 He was finishing a thought from before! He was finishing a thought from before!
223 00:10:11,434 00:10:13,520 - [laughs] - Archer! - [laughs] - Archer!
224 00:10:13,560 00:10:16,560 I'm sorry. He did a "what did he just say?" I'm sorry. He did a "what did he just say?"
225 00:10:16,590 00:10:21,098 He's doing all the top ten old-guy hits, coast-to-coast! He's doing all the top ten old-guy hits, coast-to-coast!
226 00:10:26,320 00:10:28,390 [jazzy music] [horns honking] [jazzy music] [horns honking]
227 00:10:28,420 00:10:29,890 Malory: This is what happens Malory: This is what happens
228 00:10:29,920 00:10:32,420 when you give bicyclists their own lane. when you give bicyclists their own lane.
229 00:10:32,460 00:10:36,259 - What's next, a lane for vegetarians? - Sorry, Gabrielle. - What's next, a lane for vegetarians? - Sorry, Gabrielle.
230 00:10:36,260 00:10:39,360 - It's usually a little chasier than this. - Oh, no, don't apologize. - It's usually a little chasier than this. - Oh, no, don't apologize.
231 00:10:39,390 00:10:41,310 This is a great opportunity for me to get to know This is a great opportunity for me to get to know
232 00:10:41,320 00:10:42,990 your friends just a little bit better. your friends just a little bit better.
233 00:10:43,020 00:10:45,290 All right, I'll start. Uh, this one's for anybody. All right, I'll start. Uh, this one's for anybody.
234 00:10:45,320 00:10:48,020 Who's ever met a potential love interest Who's ever met a potential love interest
235 00:10:48,060 00:10:51,890 over the unconscious body of their child's father? over the unconscious body of their child's father?
236 00:10:51,920 00:10:54,490 - Oh, my God. This again? - This again, what? - Oh, my God. This again? - This again, what?
237 00:10:54,520 00:10:56,490 Well, you got shot by a murder suspect Well, you got shot by a murder suspect
238 00:10:56,520 00:10:58,020 you were supposed to be investigating you were supposed to be investigating
239 00:10:58,060 00:11:01,020 but instead were having sex with who, by the way, but instead were having sex with who, by the way,
240 00:11:01,060 00:11:03,914 after shooting you, got away! after shooting you, got away!
241 00:11:04,920 00:11:08,090 Hey, look what we got going on back here. Hey, look what we got going on back here.
242 00:11:08,120 00:11:13,420 - I feel like the cream inside of an Ore... - Do not finish that sentence! - I feel like the cream inside of an Ore... - Do not finish that sentence!
243 00:11:15,260 00:11:16,990 Hey, Kyle. Hey, Kyle.
244 00:11:17,020 00:11:19,220 Would you mind parking the dessert cart over here? Would you mind parking the dessert cart over here?
245 00:11:19,260 00:11:21,260 And you might want to throw the emergency brake on, And you might want to throw the emergency brake on,
246 00:11:21,284 00:11:24,220 because I have a feeling things could go sideways pretty fast. because I have a feeling things could go sideways pretty fast.
247 00:11:24,260 00:11:27,090 Actually, sir, some diners have been complaining Actually, sir, some diners have been complaining
248 00:11:27,120 00:11:29,290 that your constant crying and chewing that your constant crying and chewing
249 00:11:29,320 00:11:30,820 is bumming them out. is bumming them out.
250 00:11:30,860 00:11:32,260 [whispering] If you wouldn't mind... [whispering] If you wouldn't mind...
251 00:11:32,284 00:11:35,020 Oh, they didn't leave a credit card? Oh, they didn't leave a credit card?
252 00:11:35,060 00:11:38,290 Jeezy Petes! I had a serving of bone marrow, Jeezy Petes! I had a serving of bone marrow,
253 00:11:38,291 00:11:40,020 not a goddamn transplant. not a goddamn transplant.
254 00:11:40,060 00:11:44,020 [sighs] All right, I... Hey! My jacket's gone! [sighs] All right, I... Hey! My jacket's gone!
255 00:11:44,060 00:11:46,560 Listen, Kyle, my wallet was in my jacket, Listen, Kyle, my wallet was in my jacket,
256 00:11:46,590 00:11:48,560 and it appears my friends must've grabbed it. and it appears my friends must've grabbed it.
257 00:11:48,590 00:11:50,430 So I'm gonna have to... [footsteps approaching] So I'm gonna have to... [footsteps approaching]
258 00:11:50,454 00:11:51,890 To have someone come down To have someone come down
259 00:11:51,920 00:11:55,120 - and meet me here with a credit card. - There you go. - and meet me here with a credit card. - There you go.
260 00:11:59,690 00:12:03,330 Don't spray that urine on my son's window. Don't spray that urine on my son's window.
261 00:12:03,360 00:12:06,330 If you want a dollar for doing nothing, walk to Canada. If you want a dollar for doing nothing, walk to Canada.
262 00:12:06,360 00:12:08,690 What are you even doing on this mission to begin with? What are you even doing on this mission to begin with?
263 00:12:08,730 00:12:10,330 Cyril needed me. Cyril needed me.
264 00:12:10,360 00:12:12,190 It would've looked weird for him to be sitting It would've looked weird for him to be sitting
265 00:12:12,230 00:12:14,030 at that restaurant all alone. at that restaurant all alone.
266 00:12:14,060 00:12:17,060 - Who were you supposed to be? - His date, obviously. - Who were you supposed to be? - His date, obviously.
267 00:12:17,090 00:12:18,660 [laughter] [laughter]
268 00:12:18,690 00:12:21,330 Excuse me, it's not that crazy at all Excuse me, it's not that crazy at all
269 00:12:21,360 00:12:22,760 that these two would be together. that these two would be together.
270 00:12:22,795 00:12:25,660 Not much further apart in age than Lana and I are. Not much further apart in age than Lana and I are.
271 00:12:25,690 00:12:29,160 - Self-burn. - Plus, she's beautiful and successful. - Self-burn. - Plus, she's beautiful and successful.
272 00:12:29,190 00:12:31,060 You know who you remind me of, Malory? You know who you remind me of, Malory?
273 00:12:31,090 00:12:32,490 My ex-wife. My ex-wife.
274 00:12:32,525 00:12:35,130 Malory reminds you of Linda? The supermodel? Malory reminds you of Linda? The supermodel?
275 00:12:35,160 00:12:36,590 No! [chuckles] No, no, no, no, no. No! [chuckles] No, no, no, no, no.
276 00:12:36,630 00:12:39,190 I'm talking about Zelda, my first ex-wife. I'm talking about Zelda, my first ex-wife.
277 00:12:39,230 00:12:41,730 - Linda was my third ex-wife. - Your what? - Linda was my third ex-wife. - Your what?
278 00:12:41,760 00:12:43,590 Oh, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Oh, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.
279 00:12:43,630 00:12:46,460 I think the phrase you're looking for is "gulp." I think the phrase you're looking for is "gulp."
280 00:12:46,490 00:12:49,290 [laughter] [laughter]
281 00:12:50,630 00:12:53,060 What's wrong with your face, Krieger? What's wrong with your face, Krieger?
282 00:12:53,090 00:12:56,030 Yeah. Did you rack your nuts on your proton pack? Yeah. Did you rack your nuts on your proton pack?
283 00:12:56,060 00:12:57,460 [laughs] [laughs]
284 00:12:57,490 00:13:01,060 Oh, Mitsuko and I got into an argument. Oh, Mitsuko and I got into an argument.
285 00:13:01,090 00:13:03,560 She said she thinks maybe her feelings are changing about us. She said she thinks maybe her feelings are changing about us.
286 00:13:03,590 00:13:05,230 Let me tell you something everyone hears Let me tell you something everyone hears
287 00:13:05,254 00:13:06,629 at some point in their lives: at some point in their lives:
288 00:13:06,630 00:13:08,730 that anime hologram's just not that into you. that anime hologram's just not that into you.
289 00:13:08,760 00:13:11,060 No! It's probably just a phase, right? No! It's probably just a phase, right?
290 00:13:11,090 00:13:13,260 - [phone rings] - Yello? - [phone rings] - Yello?
291 00:13:13,290 00:13:15,560 Pam! Listen! [chuckles awkwardly] Pam! Listen! [chuckles awkwardly]
292 00:13:15,590 00:13:17,330 I need you to come to L'Orange. I need you to come to L'Orange.
293 00:13:17,360 00:13:19,330 Archer stuck me with a huge tab, Archer stuck me with a huge tab,
294 00:13:19,360 00:13:21,990 then left with my coat which had my wallet in it, then left with my coat which had my wallet in it,
295 00:13:22,030 00:13:24,350 and there's a menacing busboy who won't stop staring at me. and there's a menacing busboy who won't stop staring at me.
296 00:13:24,360 00:13:26,430 Pam: And you want me to come over there Pam: And you want me to come over there
297 00:13:26,460 00:13:29,030 and blow a busboy so he'll forget about your dinner tab. and blow a busboy so he'll forget about your dinner tab.
298 00:13:29,060 00:13:31,660 What? No, come with money to pay the tab. What? No, come with money to pay the tab.
299 00:13:31,690 00:13:35,460 - Pam: Oh. Lame. - Okay, let me get this straight. - Pam: Oh. Lame. - Okay, let me get this straight.
300 00:13:35,490 00:13:38,590 You've been married four times and it never occurred to you You've been married four times and it never occurred to you
301 00:13:38,630 00:13:42,660 - to share that information with your wife?! - It's personal, dear. - to share that information with your wife?! - It's personal, dear.
302 00:13:42,690 00:13:45,190 I didn't ask you how many times you'd been married. I didn't ask you how many times you'd been married.
303 00:13:45,230 00:13:47,530 Zero! I'd been married zero times! Zero! I'd been married zero times!
304 00:13:47,560 00:13:51,460 - Well, now I see why. - [laughs] - Well, now I see why. - [laughs]
305 00:13:51,490 00:13:54,330 - Who were they? - Linda, of course. - Who were they? - Linda, of course.
306 00:13:54,360 00:13:57,060 Then Hafsa, she was a gift from the Saudi crown. Then Hafsa, she was a gift from the Saudi crown.
307 00:13:57,090 00:13:59,730 Would've been rude to say no. And then Zelda. Would've been rude to say no. And then Zelda.
308 00:13:59,760 00:14:03,530 We didn't technically divorce. I lost her on safari. We didn't technically divorce. I lost her on safari.
309 00:14:03,560 00:14:05,730 Oh, my God, this guy's on fire. Oh, my God, this guy's on fire.
310 00:14:05,760 00:14:08,460 I'm not sure if it's a big deal, but... I'm not sure if it's a big deal, but...
311 00:14:08,490 00:14:10,650 that guy you're following, he just got out of that cab. that guy you're following, he just got out of that cab.
312 00:14:10,674 00:14:12,460 Damn it, he's getting away! Follow him! Damn it, he's getting away! Follow him!
313 00:14:12,490 00:14:15,060 I can't, Mother! What do you want me to do, I can't, Mother! What do you want me to do,
314 00:14:15,090 00:14:17,530 just leave the car here in the middle of 5th Ave? just leave the car here in the middle of 5th Ave?
315 00:14:17,560 00:14:19,730 Oh, yes, big smiles. Oh, yes, big smiles.
316 00:14:19,760 00:14:22,560 I, too, would be excited if I were about to overdose I, too, would be excited if I were about to overdose
317 00:14:22,590 00:14:25,330 somewhere in a hollowed-out box spring. somewhere in a hollowed-out box spring.
318 00:14:25,360 00:14:27,710 You know, I've always thought that busboys You know, I've always thought that busboys
319 00:14:27,711 00:14:30,060 were the backbone of the restaurant industry. were the backbone of the restaurant industry.
320 00:14:30,090 00:14:35,160 - I'm a woman. - And a beautiful one at that. - I'm a woman. - And a beautiful one at that.
321 00:14:35,190 00:14:38,290 - There you are! - Oh, you look like shit, dude. - There you are! - Oh, you look like shit, dude.
322 00:14:38,330 00:14:41,158 - Have you been crying? - Crying? [laughs] - Have you been crying? - Crying? [laughs]
323 00:14:41,264 00:14:43,128 - No. - All: Yes! - No. - All: Yes!
324 00:14:43,163 00:14:45,390 - [cries] - Okay, oh, Cyril. - [cries] - Okay, oh, Cyril.
325 00:14:45,430 00:14:47,260 Come on, let's get out of here. Come on, let's get out of here.
326 00:14:47,290 00:14:49,759 - [clears throat] - Cyril: Oh, uh, right, the tab, uh... - [clears throat] - Cyril: Oh, uh, right, the tab, uh...
327 00:14:49,760 00:14:53,330 Cyril, don't worry about the tab. I got this. Cyril, don't worry about the tab. I got this.
328 00:14:53,360 00:14:56,160 [shouting] This waiter just touched my breasts! [shouting] This waiter just touched my breasts!
329 00:14:56,190 00:14:59,160 - [people gasp] - What? - [people gasp] - What?
330 00:14:59,190 00:15:02,089 Again, I just can't put into words how mortified I am. Again, I just can't put into words how mortified I am.
331 00:15:02,090 00:15:03,429 Well, you should be mortified. Well, you should be mortified.
332 00:15:03,430 00:15:06,489 I know my breasts certainly are. Right, ladies? I know my breasts certainly are. Right, ladies?
333 00:15:06,490 00:15:09,690 Hey, hot shot, call me if you ever want Hey, hot shot, call me if you ever want
334 00:15:09,691 00:15:11,290 to have your world rocked. to have your world rocked.
335 00:15:11,330 00:15:14,530 - Lana: You voted libertarian? - Robert: Sure, twice. - Lana: You voted libertarian? - Robert: Sure, twice.
336 00:15:14,560 00:15:17,330 Hey, I know seat belts save lives, Hey, I know seat belts save lives,
337 00:15:17,360 00:15:20,390 but who is the government to require me to wear one? but who is the government to require me to wear one?
338 00:15:20,430 00:15:22,190 Is there anything else you haven't told me? Is there anything else you haven't told me?
339 00:15:22,214 00:15:23,329 - No. - In my experience, - No. - In my experience,
340 00:15:23,330 00:15:26,130 you have to ask exploratory questions, like... you have to ask exploratory questions, like...
341 00:15:26,160 00:15:28,060 Robert, have you ever done anything Robert, have you ever done anything
342 00:15:28,090 00:15:30,160 that you're deeply sad about? that you're deeply sad about?
343 00:15:30,190 00:15:34,260 I mean... I guess if I had to pick one thing... I mean... I guess if I had to pick one thing...
344 00:15:34,290 00:15:37,759 - oh, gosh, it'd be the dogs. - The dogs? - oh, gosh, it'd be the dogs. - The dogs?
345 00:15:37,760 00:15:41,130 I've had 11 dogs die on me. I've had 11 dogs die on me.
346 00:15:41,160 00:15:43,560 11?! How is that possible? 11?! How is that possible?
347 00:15:43,590 00:15:47,190 Well, you know, there's just a huge language barrier. Well, you know, there's just a huge language barrier.
348 00:15:47,230 00:15:49,730 [shouting] Oh, my God, what the hell is wrong with you?! [shouting] Oh, my God, what the hell is wrong with you?!
349 00:15:49,760 00:15:51,600 [Southern accent] What beautiful architecture [Southern accent] What beautiful architecture
350 00:15:51,624 00:15:54,160 they have here in New York City, New York, they have here in New York City, New York,
351 00:15:54,190 00:15:57,669 where we are visiting as tourists. where we are visiting as tourists.
352 00:16:00,230 00:16:02,060 [whispering] Jesus Christ, Lana, will you quit fighting [whispering] Jesus Christ, Lana, will you quit fighting
353 00:16:02,090 00:16:03,690 with your husband before you give us away? with your husband before you give us away?
354 00:16:03,730 00:16:05,460 [angry whisper] We wouldn't be in a fight if you hadn't [angry whisper] We wouldn't be in a fight if you hadn't
355 00:16:05,490 00:16:07,450 set up this stupid double date in the first place. set up this stupid double date in the first place.
356 00:16:07,474 00:16:08,489 [loudly] Boy howdy. [loudly] Boy howdy.
357 00:16:08,490 00:16:10,030 I sure hope someday we get these kind I sure hope someday we get these kind
358 00:16:10,060 00:16:13,260 of tall buildings back at home in... Arizona. of tall buildings back at home in... Arizona.
359 00:16:13,290 00:16:15,190 Shit, he's heading to the park. Shit, he's heading to the park.
360 00:16:15,230 00:16:17,550 [soft dramatic music] [soft dramatic music]
361 00:16:18,190 00:16:21,060 # # # #
362 00:16:21,090 00:16:22,490 Follow that horse! And step on it! Follow that horse! And step on it!
363 00:16:22,525 00:16:24,590 [driver clicks tongue, horse whinnies] [driver clicks tongue, horse whinnies]
364 00:16:24,630 00:16:26,460 You there, follow that cab! You there, follow that cab!
365 00:16:26,490 00:16:29,560 - On a break. - Let me try. - On a break. - Let me try.
366 00:16:29,590 00:16:33,330 Well, I can see why they call it a hansom cab. Well, I can see why they call it a hansom cab.
367 00:16:33,360 00:16:35,590 You sure are the best-looking son of a gun You sure are the best-looking son of a gun
368 00:16:35,630 00:16:38,990 - I've seen all night. - Oh, is that a fact? - I've seen all night. - Oh, is that a fact?
369 00:16:39,030 00:16:41,330 Oh, I was talking to the horse. Oh, I was talking to the horse.
370 00:16:41,360 00:16:45,260 - I figured he ran the business. - [both laugh] - I figured he ran the business. - [both laugh]
371 00:16:45,290 00:16:47,685 Gosh, oh, that's good. Gosh, oh, that's good.
372 00:16:52,850 00:16:56,150 [dramatic music] [dramatic music]
373 00:16:56,190 00:16:58,120 Hmm, they seem to be in love. Hmm, they seem to be in love.
374 00:16:58,150 00:17:00,290 Wonder whose still-breathing body they met over. Wonder whose still-breathing body they met over.
375 00:17:00,320 00:17:02,720 Oh, my God, you are absolutely cracked in the head. Oh, my God, you are absolutely cracked in the head.
376 00:17:02,750 00:17:05,250 We weren't even together when you went into a coma, okay? We weren't even together when you went into a coma, okay?
377 00:17:05,290 00:17:07,290 You were banging some old broad who then, You were banging some old broad who then,
378 00:17:07,320 00:17:09,690 God bless her soul, shot you. God bless her soul, shot you.
379 00:17:09,720 00:17:12,150 Better to be shot than stabbed in the back, Lana. Better to be shot than stabbed in the back, Lana.
380 00:17:12,190 00:17:14,590 I'm surprised this isn't something you've mentioned I'm surprised this isn't something you've mentioned
381 00:17:14,620 00:17:15,935 about your time in a coma about your time in a coma
382 00:17:15,936 00:17:18,820 - if it bothers you so much. - Oh, it doesn't. - if it bothers you so much. - Oh, it doesn't.
383 00:17:18,850 00:17:20,620 Why do you even care that I'm with Robert? Why do you even care that I'm with Robert?
384 00:17:20,650 00:17:22,050 - I don't! - It was clear that you - I don't! - It was clear that you
385 00:17:22,085 00:17:24,349 - were never going to commit to me. - You don't know that! - were never going to commit to me. - You don't know that!
386 00:17:24,500 00:17:27,040 So if Lana hadn't met Robert... So if Lana hadn't met Robert...
387 00:17:27,070 00:17:29,000 Over my still very much alive body Over my still very much alive body
388 00:17:29,040 00:17:30,369 with a functioning sex organ, with a functioning sex organ,
389 00:17:30,370 00:17:32,340 as I imagine was included in my records. as I imagine was included in my records.
390 00:17:32,370 00:17:35,340 Then you would've wanted to be together? Then you would've wanted to be together?
391 00:17:35,370 00:17:37,869 Excuse me! Whose ass do I have to kiss Excuse me! Whose ass do I have to kiss
392 00:17:37,870 00:17:39,133 to get more hot cocoa back here? to get more hot cocoa back here?
393 00:17:39,134 00:17:40,369 [horse whinnies] [horse whinnies]
394 00:17:40,370 00:17:42,040 Coney Island? Coney Island?
395 00:17:42,070 00:17:44,140 Look, I appreciate you guys bringing me here Look, I appreciate you guys bringing me here
396 00:17:44,170 00:17:46,140 to cheer me up, but I'm a grown man. to cheer me up, but I'm a grown man.
397 00:17:46,170 00:17:47,900 Oh, cheer you up? Oh, cheer you up?
398 00:17:47,940 00:17:50,340 A waiter just touched my breasts, asshole. A waiter just touched my breasts, asshole.
399 00:17:50,370 00:17:51,970 If you're in need of some cheering up, If you're in need of some cheering up,
400 00:17:52,000 00:17:54,340 this is the place. Come on. this is the place. Come on.
401 00:17:54,370 00:17:57,340 Whoa, look! Wacky mirrors! Whoa, look! Wacky mirrors!
402 00:17:57,370 00:18:00,300 [carnival music] [carnival music]
403 00:18:00,340 00:18:02,140 # # # #
404 00:18:02,170 00:18:04,940 Malory: Driver! Now we're going too fast! Malory: Driver! Now we're going too fast!
405 00:18:04,970 00:18:07,000 We're trying to follow that horse in front of us, We're trying to follow that horse in front of us,
406 00:18:07,040 00:18:09,622 - not inseminate it. - I remember when the park - not inseminate it. - I remember when the park
407 00:18:09,623 00:18:12,940 was a place you'd come to get away from the hustle and bustle. was a place you'd come to get away from the hustle and bustle.
408 00:18:12,970 00:18:16,000 Me too. I had an aunt who'd take me here. Me too. I had an aunt who'd take me here.
409 00:18:16,040 00:18:17,970 We'd sit on a park bench for hours, We'd sit on a park bench for hours,
410 00:18:18,000 00:18:21,170 just chatting and throwing lit matches at the pigeons. just chatting and throwing lit matches at the pigeons.
411 00:18:21,200 00:18:23,360 My friends and I would feed the pigeons Alka-Seltzer, My friends and I would feed the pigeons Alka-Seltzer,
412 00:18:23,384 00:18:24,900 watch them explode! watch them explode!
413 00:18:24,940 00:18:26,340 [both laugh] [both laugh]
414 00:18:26,370 00:18:30,170 - Yeah! - Both: Slow the hell down! - Yeah! - Both: Slow the hell down!
415 00:18:30,200 00:18:32,940 Come on, buddy, what's got you so down? Come on, buddy, what's got you so down?
416 00:18:32,970 00:18:36,170 - You can talk to ol' Pam. - It's... Archer. - You can talk to ol' Pam. - It's... Archer.
417 00:18:36,200 00:18:39,840 - And what about him? - [yells] I hate him! - And what about him? - [yells] I hate him!
418 00:18:39,870 00:18:42,170 - I hate his stupid face! - [clank] - I hate his stupid face! - [clank]
419 00:18:42,200 00:18:44,040 And his stupid car! And his stupid car!
420 00:18:44,070 00:18:45,800 And his stupid coma cane! And his stupid coma cane!
421 00:18:45,840 00:18:47,223 And his stupid... [machine buzzing] And his stupid... [machine buzzing]
422 00:18:47,224 00:18:49,470 Doesn't give me the respect I deserve! Doesn't give me the respect I deserve!
423 00:18:49,500 00:18:51,770 How hard is it for you to acknowledge How hard is it for you to acknowledge
424 00:18:51,800 00:18:54,740 the good shape I've gotten in? Ah! [machine buzzing] the good shape I've gotten in? Ah! [machine buzzing]
425 00:18:54,770 00:18:57,840 How much I've improved as a field agent? Ah! How much I've improved as a field agent? Ah!
426 00:18:57,870 00:19:00,970 I learned Mandarin, for Christ's sake! I learned Mandarin, for Christ's sake!
427 00:19:01,000 00:19:03,300 I hate you, Sterling Archer! I hate you, Sterling Archer!
428 00:19:03,340 00:19:05,100 I hate you and everything you've done I hate you and everything you've done
429 00:19:05,140 00:19:08,026 to make me feel this... agh! to make me feel this... agh!
430 00:19:09,370 00:19:11,700 Cyril, I see the job you're doing. Cyril, I see the job you're doing.
431 00:19:11,740 00:19:14,170 You've been knocking it out of the park as a field agent. You've been knocking it out of the park as a field agent.
432 00:19:14,200 00:19:17,940 - Really? - Really. When I thought Archer was dead, - Really? - Really. When I thought Archer was dead,
433 00:19:17,970 00:19:21,170 I literally said, "Well, at least we still got Cyril." I literally said, "Well, at least we still got Cyril."
434 00:19:21,200 00:19:25,000 - You did? - Sure. I need the agency to stay afloat. - You did? - Sure. I need the agency to stay afloat.
435 00:19:25,040 00:19:26,440 I can't get another job. I can't get another job.
436 00:19:26,470 00:19:29,400 I have, like, a shit-ton of felonies. I have, like, a shit-ton of felonies.
437 00:19:29,440 00:19:31,368 [chuckles, sniffles] Thanks, Pam. [chuckles, sniffles] Thanks, Pam.
438 00:19:31,403 00:19:33,192 [machine buzzes] [yelps] [machine buzzes] [yelps]
439 00:19:35,740 00:19:37,900 Gabrielle: Then why did you set this double date up, Archer? Gabrielle: Then why did you set this double date up, Archer?
440 00:19:37,940 00:19:40,499 Seriously, out of all the women you could've asked out... Seriously, out of all the women you could've asked out...
441 00:19:40,500 00:19:42,300 Of which there are literally billions. Of which there are literally billions.
442 00:19:42,340 00:19:44,340 - Proving her point. - Damn it. - Proving her point. - Damn it.
443 00:19:44,370 00:19:47,840 You chose one that kinda, well, is my doppelganger? You chose one that kinda, well, is my doppelganger?
444 00:19:47,870 00:19:50,570 - Yeah, why is that, Archer? - Um, if you two - Yeah, why is that, Archer? - Um, if you two
445 00:19:50,571 00:19:53,300 are through playing amateur neuropsychobiologist, are through playing amateur neuropsychobiologist,
446 00:19:53,340 00:19:55,940 our Russian is headed for the subway. our Russian is headed for the subway.
447 00:19:55,970 00:19:59,870 # # # #
448 00:19:59,900 00:20:01,820 Archer, I'll come at them from around the back. Archer, I'll come at them from around the back.
449 00:20:01,850 00:20:03,330 You approach them from the left flank. You approach them from the left flank.
450 00:20:03,360 00:20:04,509 I almost hate to do it. I almost hate to do it.
451 00:20:04,510 00:20:06,870 Those two look really happy together. Those two look really happy together.
452 00:20:06,900 00:20:09,200 Yeah. It's nice to be in love with someone. Yeah. It's nice to be in love with someone.
453 00:20:09,240 00:20:13,270 - You should try it. - Well, if it means being as happy - You should try it. - Well, if it means being as happy
454 00:20:13,300 00:20:16,770 as that Russian hacker and his girlfriend, I actually... as that Russian hacker and his girlfriend, I actually...
455 00:20:16,800 00:20:18,061 All: Oh! All: Oh!
456 00:20:18,119 00:20:20,240 - God damn it. - [chuckles] Oh-ho-ho! No! - God damn it. - [chuckles] Oh-ho-ho! No!
457 00:20:21,800 00:20:25,140 Ew. Should we call the police? Ew. Should we call the police?
458 00:20:25,170 00:20:27,177 Both: Meh. Both: Meh.
459 00:20:30,040 00:20:32,480 So, Gabrielle, this is usually the part of the date So, Gabrielle, this is usually the part of the date
460 00:20:32,510 00:20:34,840 when we head back to my place for great sex. when we head back to my place for great sex.
461 00:20:34,880 00:20:38,410 Archer, look, you seem like a really nice guy... Archer, look, you seem like a really nice guy...
462 00:20:38,440 00:20:39,980 - Ha! - Shut up, Lana. - Ha! - Shut up, Lana.
463 00:20:40,010 00:20:41,410 You were saying? Nice guy. You were saying? Nice guy.
464 00:20:41,440 00:20:43,880 Fully functioning sex organ. Go on. Fully functioning sex organ. Go on.
465 00:20:43,910 00:20:46,210 But it's clear you still have feelings for Lana. But it's clear you still have feelings for Lana.
466 00:20:46,240 00:20:48,880 [laughs] Wait, me? For her? [laughs] Wait, me? For her?
467 00:20:48,910 00:20:51,980 Wh-why would I want Lana when I could have you? Wh-why would I want Lana when I could have you?
468 00:20:52,010 00:20:56,556 A totally different noncomparable unique person who... A totally different noncomparable unique person who...
469 00:20:56,591 00:20:59,580 shouldn't be exploited for personal vendettas, sorry. shouldn't be exploited for personal vendettas, sorry.
470 00:20:59,610 00:21:02,910 Yeah, that part. It was nice to meet ya, Lana. Yeah, that part. It was nice to meet ya, Lana.
471 00:21:02,940 00:21:05,180 Uh, maybe we could get together sometime. Uh, maybe we could get together sometime.
472 00:21:05,210 00:21:06,910 You know what? I actually would not mind You know what? I actually would not mind
473 00:21:06,940 00:21:09,463 - hanging out with you again. - Archer: Hey, wait, Gabrielle. - hanging out with you again. - Archer: Hey, wait, Gabrielle.
474 00:21:09,464 00:21:12,610 But... sex time. Gabrielle! But... sex time. Gabrielle!
475 00:21:14,210 00:21:17,409 - Aw, you liked her, didn't you? - I don't know. - Aw, you liked her, didn't you? - I don't know.
476 00:21:17,410 00:21:19,639 But you didn't realize it till just now, huh? But you didn't realize it till just now, huh?
477 00:21:19,640 00:21:20,979 [grunts] Maybe. [grunts] Maybe.
478 00:21:20,980 00:21:22,440 I mean, I thought she was great. I mean, I thought she was great.
479 00:21:22,480 00:21:25,880 - Whatever. - I mean, smart, charming. - Whatever. - I mean, smart, charming.
480 00:21:25,910 00:21:29,940 - And those cans, am I right? - Yeah, they looked pretty squeezy. - And those cans, am I right? - Yeah, they looked pretty squeezy.
481 00:21:29,980 00:21:32,371 Thinking maybe instead of asking her out to make me jealous, Thinking maybe instead of asking her out to make me jealous,
482 00:21:32,396 00:21:35,680 you should've just asked her out because she's awesome. you should've just asked her out because she's awesome.
483 00:21:37,040 00:21:39,980 [jazzy music] [jazzy music]
484 00:21:40,010 00:21:41,940 # # # #
485 00:21:41,980 00:21:44,310 Honey, I'm home. Honey, I'm home.
486 00:21:44,340 00:21:46,310 [man over TV] You know what I'd do if I were you? [man over TV] You know what I'd do if I were you?
487 00:21:46,340 00:21:48,340 Wait, wait, wait, wait, this is my favorite part! Wait, wait, wait, wait, this is my favorite part!
488 00:21:48,364 00:21:50,110 Mine too! Mine too!
489 00:21:50,140 00:21:53,110 All: Fill my boots with lead and jump in the ocean, All: Fill my boots with lead and jump in the ocean,
490 00:21:53,140 00:21:55,480 you pig-nosed gypsy! you pig-nosed gypsy!
491 00:21:55,510 00:21:57,040 [laughter] [machine gun fire on TV] [laughter] [machine gun fire on TV]
492 00:21:57,080 00:22:00,493 - Oh, gosh, that's good. - [sighs] Fantastic. - Oh, gosh, that's good. - [sighs] Fantastic.
493 00:22:00,494 00:22:02,606 [gulps] [gulps]
494 00:22:02,914 00:22:07,163 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~