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1 | 00:00:03,304 | 00:00:10,275 | ♪ ♪ | ♪ ♪ |
2 | 00:00:15,683 | 00:00:18,384 | - [clears throat] | - [clears throat] |
3 | 00:00:20,554 | 00:00:23,589 | [ice crunching] | [ice crunching] |
4 | 00:00:23,624 | 00:00:30,562 | ♪ ♪ | ♪ ♪ |
5 | 00:00:31,632 | 00:00:34,633 | - welcome to l'orange. I'll be your server, kyle. | - welcome to l'orange. I'll be your server, kyle. |
6 | 00:00:34,668 | 00:00:36,335 | Our specials tonight... | Our specials tonight... |
7 | 00:00:36,370 | 00:00:37,647 | - damn it, kyle, are you blind? | - damn it, kyle, are you blind? |
8 | 00:00:37,671 | 00:00:39,449 | We're in the middle of a conversation. | We're in the middle of a conversation. |
9 | 00:00:39,473 | 00:00:41,673 | - I'm so sorry. [sighs] | - I'm so sorry. [sighs] |
10 | 00:00:41,709 | 00:00:43,375 | I'll come back. | I'll come back. |
11 | 00:00:45,746 | 00:00:49,348 | - Actually, I kinda wish we'd heard the specials now. | - Actually, I kinda wish we'd heard the specials now. |
12 | 00:00:49,383 | 00:00:50,482 | [sighs] | [sighs] |
13 | 00:00:50,518 | 00:00:52,718 | this is fun. So fun, right? | this is fun. So fun, right? |
14 | 00:00:55,356 | 00:00:58,323 | [main title theme] | [main title theme] |
15 | 00:00:58,359 | 00:01:05,297 | ♪ ♪ | ♪ ♪ |
16 | 00:01:32,143 | 00:01:33,303 | robert: This was a doozy | robert: This was a doozy |
17 | 00:01:33,344 | 00:01:34,576 | of an idea, archer. | of an idea, archer. |
18 | 00:01:34,678 | 00:01:36,011 | I just love double dates. | I just love double dates. |
19 | 00:01:36,113 | 00:01:37,591 | - You're at a restaurant, robert. | - You're at a restaurant, robert. |
20 | 00:01:37,615 | 00:01:40,282 | We can trade money for food here. | We can trade money for food here. |
21 | 00:01:40,384 | 00:01:41,428 | Sorry about that, gabrielle. | Sorry about that, gabrielle. |
22 | 00:01:41,452 | 00:01:43,585 | At his age, robert gets confused easily. | At his age, robert gets confused easily. |
23 | 00:01:43,621 | 00:01:45,632 | - If it's not painfully obvious yet, | - If it's not painfully obvious yet, |
24 | 00:01:45,656 | 00:01:48,557 | archer is incredibly jealous of my husband. | archer is incredibly jealous of my husband. |
25 | 00:01:48,592 | 00:01:50,470 | - Oh, yeah, I-I desperately wish | - Oh, yeah, I-I desperately wish |
26 | 00:01:50,494 | 00:01:52,606 | I had liver spots and eyebrows like haystacks. | I had liver spots and eyebrows like haystacks. |
27 | 00:01:52,630 | 00:01:54,441 | - You know what? - Look, why don't we just | - You know what? - Look, why don't we just |
28 | 00:01:54,465 | 00:01:56,276 | acknowledge the elephant in the room? | acknowledge the elephant in the room? |
29 | 00:01:56,300 | 00:01:58,411 | - That you have borderline personality disorder | - That you have borderline personality disorder |
30 | 00:01:58,435 | 00:02:00,335 | and desperately need help? | and desperately need help? |
31 | 00:02:00,371 | 00:02:01,548 | - I was talking, lana, | - I was talking, lana, |
32 | 00:02:01,572 | 00:02:04,473 | about how incredibly gorgeous gabrielle looks tonight. | about how incredibly gorgeous gabrielle looks tonight. |
33 | 00:02:04,508 | 00:02:07,442 | It's like somebody stuffed 103 pounds of "ka-kow" | It's like somebody stuffed 103 pounds of "ka-kow" |
34 | 00:02:07,478 | 00:02:09,311 | into a red golf sock. | into a red golf sock. |
35 | 00:02:09,346 | 00:02:11,380 | - I couldn't agree more. | - I couldn't agree more. |
36 | 00:02:11,415 | 00:02:13,326 | You look gorgeous, gabrielle. | You look gorgeous, gabrielle. |
37 | 00:02:13,350 | 00:02:14,516 | - Uh, honey, shut up. | - Uh, honey, shut up. |
38 | 00:02:14,552 | 00:02:17,386 | So how did you two meet? | So how did you two meet? |
39 | 00:02:17,421 | 00:02:19,388 | - We met in a study my university is conducting | - We met in a study my university is conducting |
40 | 00:02:19,423 | 00:02:21,557 | for individuals who have been in a coma. | for individuals who have been in a coma. |
41 | 00:02:21,592 | 00:02:23,537 | - Catch that, lana? - That you have brain damage? | - Catch that, lana? - That you have brain damage? |
42 | 00:02:23,561 | 00:02:26,628 | - No, I mean the part where gabrielle is a scientist? | - No, I mean the part where gabrielle is a scientist? |
43 | 00:02:26,664 | 00:02:29,331 | - Oh, are you in science as well? | - Oh, are you in science as well? |
44 | 00:02:29,366 | 00:02:31,300 | - [laughs] that's funny. | - [laughs] that's funny. |
45 | 00:02:31,335 | 00:02:33,535 | You see, lana's parents desperately wanted her | You see, lana's parents desperately wanted her |
46 | 00:02:33,571 | 00:02:35,482 | to be a scientist, but she hated them. | to be a scientist, but she hated them. |
47 | 00:02:35,506 | 00:02:36,716 | And now they're dead. - They're not dead. | And now they're dead. - They're not dead. |
48 | 00:02:36,740 | 00:02:39,341 | - How would you know? You're not a scientist. | - How would you know? You're not a scientist. |
49 | 00:02:39,376 | 00:02:40,554 | - You know, one of my foundations | - You know, one of my foundations |
50 | 00:02:40,578 | 00:02:42,511 | is involved in neuroscience, | is involved in neuroscience, |
51 | 00:02:42,546 | 00:02:45,547 | and we just did a study on memory-mapping neurons. | and we just did a study on memory-mapping neurons. |
52 | 00:02:45,583 | 00:02:47,516 | - Oh, I just read about that! | - Oh, I just read about that! |
53 | 00:02:47,551 | 00:02:49,618 | Let me ask you, did you agree with their findings | Let me ask you, did you agree with their findings |
54 | 00:02:49,653 | 00:02:51,653 | on spatially tuned memory trace cells? | on spatially tuned memory trace cells? |
55 | 00:02:51,689 | 00:02:54,556 | - Slow down. Who am I, andrew fielding huxley? | - Slow down. Who am I, andrew fielding huxley? |
56 | 00:02:54,592 | 00:02:56,658 | [both laugh] | [both laugh] |
57 | 00:02:56,694 | 00:02:58,627 | gosh, oh, that's good. | gosh, oh, that's good. |
58 | 00:02:58,662 | 00:03:01,597 | - So have we decided on a first course? | - So have we decided on a first course? |
59 | 00:03:01,632 | 00:03:03,398 | - I actually need a little more time. | - I actually need a little more time. |
60 | 00:03:03,434 | 00:03:04,674 | But, lana, you're probably fine | But, lana, you're probably fine |
61 | 00:03:04,702 | 00:03:06,602 | with the first thing you see, right? | with the first thing you see, right? |
62 | 00:03:06,637 | 00:03:09,338 | [hits table] - I'm just... [groans] | [hits table] - I'm just... [groans] |
63 | 00:03:09,373 | 00:03:11,551 | going to go to the ladies' room. | going to go to the ladies' room. |
64 | 00:03:11,575 | 00:03:12,652 | Excuse me. | Excuse me. |
65 | 00:03:12,676 | 00:03:15,644 | - Oh, I'll join you. - [sighs] great. | - Oh, I'll join you. - [sighs] great. |
66 | 00:03:15,679 | 00:03:18,513 | - Don't take too long, or I might fall in love with robert. | - Don't take too long, or I might fall in love with robert. |
67 | 00:03:18,549 | 00:03:20,716 | You know how fast it can happen! | You know how fast it can happen! |
68 | 00:03:20,751 | 00:03:23,385 | Ha, I was joking, obviously, robert. | Ha, I was joking, obviously, robert. |
69 | 00:03:23,420 | 00:03:25,354 | The eyebrows are a deal breaker. | The eyebrows are a deal breaker. |
70 | 00:03:26,023 | 00:03:28,590 | - Oh, this is a beautiful restaurant. | - Oh, this is a beautiful restaurant. |
71 | 00:03:28,626 | 00:03:29,626 | - Mm-hmm. | - Mm-hmm. |
72 | 00:03:29,660 | 00:03:32,394 | - Robert's great. You're so lucky. | - Robert's great. You're so lucky. |
73 | 00:03:32,429 | 00:03:34,496 | - Uh-huh. - So... | - Uh-huh. - So... |
74 | 00:03:34,531 | 00:03:36,698 | You know archer from work? | You know archer from work? |
75 | 00:03:36,734 | 00:03:38,567 | - [laughs] what? | - [laughs] what? |
76 | 00:03:38,602 | 00:03:40,480 | Wait a minute. You're joking, right? | Wait a minute. You're joking, right? |
77 | 00:03:40,504 | 00:03:42,682 | Archer didn't tell you anything about us? | Archer didn't tell you anything about us? |
78 | 00:03:42,706 | 00:03:44,406 | - Oh, just that you work together, | - Oh, just that you work together, |
79 | 00:03:44,441 | 00:03:45,518 | that you're married to robert, | that you're married to robert, |
80 | 00:03:45,542 | 00:03:47,442 | that your jaw makes this clicking sound | that your jaw makes this clicking sound |
81 | 00:03:47,478 | 00:03:48,722 | when you chew like... [clicking tongue] | when you chew like... [clicking tongue] |
82 | 00:03:48,746 | 00:03:50,412 | - mm. | - mm. |
83 | 00:03:50,447 | 00:03:52,714 | He didn't mention that we, uh, I don't know, | He didn't mention that we, uh, I don't know, |
84 | 00:03:52,750 | 00:03:54,449 | have a child together? | have a child together? |
85 | 00:03:54,485 | 00:03:56,485 | - Get out of town! | - Get out of town! |
86 | 00:03:56,520 | 00:03:57,686 | You're aj's mom? | You're aj's mom? |
87 | 00:03:57,721 | 00:03:59,554 | - [groans] | - [groans] |
88 | 00:03:59,590 | 00:04:01,523 | robert: So how's work, archer? | robert: So how's work, archer? |
89 | 00:04:01,558 | 00:04:02,669 | - Hey, robert, don't take this personally, | - Hey, robert, don't take this personally, |
90 | 00:04:02,693 | 00:04:04,571 | but there's no way I'm making small talk with you. | but there's no way I'm making small talk with you. |
91 | 00:04:04,595 | 00:04:07,396 | Just quietly stare at a candle or something. | Just quietly stare at a candle or something. |
92 | 00:04:07,431 | 00:04:11,600 | - Hey... That gabrielle. [wolf whistle] | - Hey... That gabrielle. [wolf whistle] |
93 | 00:04:11,635 | 00:04:14,403 | we sure got a type. Rawr! | we sure got a type. Rawr! |
94 | 00:04:14,438 | 00:04:16,750 | Seeing them walk off together now, I was just like, | Seeing them walk off together now, I was just like, |
95 | 00:04:16,774 | 00:04:20,542 | "I wouldn't mind being the cream in that double espresso!" | "I wouldn't mind being the cream in that double espresso!" |
96 | 00:04:20,577 | 00:04:23,445 | [laughs] - hmm. | [laughs] - hmm. |
97 | 00:04:23,480 | 00:04:27,482 | - I've dabbled quite a bit in the exotic arts, as they say. | - I've dabbled quite a bit in the exotic arts, as they say. |
98 | 00:04:27,518 | 00:04:28,750 | - Oh, god, please, no. | - Oh, god, please, no. |
99 | 00:04:28,786 | 00:04:30,563 | - So you're telling me you're not upset | - So you're telling me you're not upset |
100 | 00:04:30,587 | 00:04:31,731 | that archer didn't mention that your first date | that archer didn't mention that your first date |
101 | 00:04:31,755 | 00:04:34,456 | was going to include the mother of his child? | was going to include the mother of his child? |
102 | 00:04:34,491 | 00:04:35,669 | - After all he's been through, | - After all he's been through, |
103 | 00:04:35,693 | 00:04:37,592 | I'm sure it just slipped his mind. | I'm sure it just slipped his mind. |
104 | 00:04:37,628 | 00:04:38,838 | - Or he's a lunatic. | - Or he's a lunatic. |
105 | 00:04:38,862 | 00:04:41,563 | I mean, clearly he asked you out because... | I mean, clearly he asked you out because... |
106 | 00:04:41,598 | 00:04:43,598 | [snorts] well... - Well, what? | [snorts] well... - Well, what? |
107 | 00:04:43,634 | 00:04:45,745 | - Oh, come on, he's trying to send a message | - Oh, come on, he's trying to send a message |
108 | 00:04:45,769 | 00:04:48,804 | that he found a stand-in, you know, for, uh... for this. | that he found a stand-in, you know, for, uh... for this. |
109 | 00:04:48,839 | 00:04:52,641 | - A stand-in? Oh, did you go to yale too? | - A stand-in? Oh, did you go to yale too? |
110 | 00:04:52,676 | 00:04:54,587 | - No. I mean, I'm sure I could have. | - No. I mean, I'm sure I could have. |
111 | 00:04:54,611 | 00:04:56,545 | - But you have two phds, I bet. | - But you have two phds, I bet. |
112 | 00:04:56,580 | 00:04:57,746 | - Well, no, not two. | - Well, no, not two. |
113 | 00:04:57,781 | 00:04:59,726 | No, I have... I have... I have just the one. | No, I have... I have... I have just the one. |
114 | 00:04:59,750 | 00:05:01,750 | - Oh, I see, so you don't mean "stand-in" | - Oh, I see, so you don't mean "stand-in" |
115 | 00:05:01,785 | 00:05:03,752 | as much as you mean "upgrade." | as much as you mean "upgrade." |
116 | 00:05:03,787 | 00:05:04,798 | woman: [clears throat] | woman: [clears throat] |
117 | 00:05:04,822 | 00:05:06,555 | excuse me. | excuse me. |
118 | 00:05:06,590 | 00:05:07,734 | - There! There you go! - [gasps] what are you doing? | - There! There you go! - [gasps] what are you doing? |
119 | 00:05:07,758 | 00:05:08,768 | - Now you're all wet. - Ugh! | - Now you're all wet. - Ugh! |
120 | 00:05:08,792 | 00:05:10,726 | - Isn't that what you wanted? | - Isn't that what you wanted? |
121 | 00:05:10,761 | 00:05:14,696 | - And sure enough, we made love right there in the jazz club. | - And sure enough, we made love right there in the jazz club. |
122 | 00:05:14,732 | 00:05:17,432 | And to this day, I can't even hear | And to this day, I can't even hear |
123 | 00:05:17,468 | 00:05:19,768 | a muted trumpet without getting erect! | a muted trumpet without getting erect! |
124 | 00:05:19,803 | 00:05:21,603 | [mimics trumpet fanfare] | [mimics trumpet fanfare] |
125 | 00:05:21,638 | 00:05:22,716 | - what a great story, robert. | - what a great story, robert. |
126 | 00:05:22,740 | 00:05:25,507 | I just wish it could've been louder and grosser. | I just wish it could've been louder and grosser. |
127 | 00:05:25,542 | 00:05:27,854 | - Kyle! Do us a favor and put our food in, would ya? | - Kyle! Do us a favor and put our food in, would ya? |
128 | 00:05:27,878 | 00:05:29,789 | - Absolutely. What would you like? | - Absolutely. What would you like? |
129 | 00:05:29,813 | 00:05:31,646 | - You order for us, kyle. | - You order for us, kyle. |
130 | 00:05:31,682 | 00:05:35,784 | I'm talkin' apps, entrées... The whole nine yards. | I'm talkin' apps, entrées... The whole nine yards. |
131 | 00:05:35,819 | 00:05:37,719 | - You're trusting kyle to pick our food? | - You're trusting kyle to pick our food? |
132 | 00:05:37,755 | 00:05:39,588 | The entirety of his life's decisions | The entirety of his life's decisions |
133 | 00:05:39,623 | 00:05:41,857 | have led him to this job and that haircut. | have led him to this job and that haircut. |
134 | 00:05:41,892 | 00:05:43,692 | No offense, kyle. | No offense, kyle. |
135 | 00:05:43,727 | 00:05:46,795 | Hey, there they are, the two prettiest ladies in the joint. | Hey, there they are, the two prettiest ladies in the joint. |
136 | 00:05:46,830 | 00:05:49,798 | Or more specifically, a clear number one | Or more specifically, a clear number one |
137 | 00:05:49,833 | 00:05:52,634 | and a not-as-well-read, big-boned runner-up. | and a not-as-well-read, big-boned runner-up. |
138 | 00:05:52,669 | 00:05:54,681 | - You know what? Let me ask you a question. | - You know what? Let me ask you a question. |
139 | 00:05:54,705 | 00:05:56,649 | - What the hell are you doing? | - What the hell are you doing? |
140 | 00:05:56,673 | 00:05:59,608 | You're supposed to be staking out victor cherenenko. | You're supposed to be staking out victor cherenenko. |
141 | 00:05:59,643 | 00:06:01,743 | - Will you two be joining the table? | - Will you two be joining the table? |
142 | 00:06:01,779 | 00:06:02,744 | - No, definitely not. - We were just leaving. | - No, definitely not. - We were just leaving. |
143 | 00:06:02,780 | 00:06:04,524 | - Sure. - Gabrielle, you could | - Sure. - Gabrielle, you could |
144 | 00:06:04,548 | 00:06:05,614 | scooch in next to me. | scooch in next to me. |
145 | 00:06:05,649 | 00:06:07,649 | - Ooh, who's victor cherenenko? | - Ooh, who's victor cherenenko? |
146 | 00:06:07,684 | 00:06:08,728 | - Oh, russian hacker, | - Oh, russian hacker, |
147 | 00:06:08,752 | 00:06:10,897 | one of interpol's most wanted, gabrielle. | one of interpol's most wanted, gabrielle. |
148 | 00:06:10,921 | 00:06:12,654 | Huge reward out for him. | Huge reward out for him. |
149 | 00:06:12,689 | 00:06:14,756 | And I am the one responsible... | And I am the one responsible... |
150 | 00:06:14,792 | 00:06:17,759 | - actually, I'm in charge of the mission. | - actually, I'm in charge of the mission. |
151 | 00:06:17,795 | 00:06:19,595 | How are you? Cyril figgis. | How are you? Cyril figgis. |
152 | 00:06:19,630 | 00:06:20,740 | - Calm down, cyril. | - Calm down, cyril. |
153 | 00:06:20,764 | 00:06:23,565 | You're getting desperation all over my hot scientist. | You're getting desperation all over my hot scientist. |
154 | 00:06:23,600 | 00:06:25,801 | - I probably shouldn't be showing you this. | - I probably shouldn't be showing you this. |
155 | 00:06:25,836 | 00:06:28,670 | You look like someone who can be trusted. | You look like someone who can be trusted. |
156 | 00:06:28,705 | 00:06:30,717 | See, for years, no one has been able to find this guy, | See, for years, no one has been able to find this guy, |
157 | 00:06:30,741 | 00:06:32,886 | but recently he's been popping his head up in public. | but recently he's been popping his head up in public. |
158 | 00:06:32,910 | 00:06:35,544 | So as team leader, I took it upon myself | So as team leader, I took it upon myself |
159 | 00:06:35,579 | 00:06:38,580 | to synthesize data from his financial records, and ta-da. | to synthesize data from his financial records, and ta-da. |
160 | 00:06:38,615 | 00:06:39,859 | - You were able to produce that wet diaper | - You were able to produce that wet diaper |
161 | 00:06:39,883 | 00:06:41,750 | of a worthless dossier. | of a worthless dossier. |
162 | 00:06:41,785 | 00:06:43,897 | The thing says cherenenko is a regular at this place, | The thing says cherenenko is a regular at this place, |
163 | 00:06:43,921 | 00:06:44,964 | and yet... | and yet... |
164 | 00:06:44,988 | 00:06:46,922 | - hey, isn't that him? Cherenenko? | - hey, isn't that him? Cherenenko? |
165 | 00:06:46,957 | 00:06:49,825 | Cyril: You see that, archer? I was right. | Cyril: You see that, archer? I was right. |
166 | 00:06:49,860 | 00:06:50,926 | He's here after all. | He's here after all. |
167 | 00:06:50,961 | 00:06:52,806 | - I mean, it doesn't take that much | - I mean, it doesn't take that much |
168 | 00:06:52,830 | 00:06:53,873 | to look at a credit card statement | to look at a credit card statement |
169 | 00:06:53,897 | 00:06:56,731 | and see that guy comes to a restaurant a lot | and see that guy comes to a restaurant a lot |
170 | 00:06:56,767 | 00:06:58,645 | and that... - God damn it, archer! | and that... - God damn it, archer! |
171 | 00:06:58,669 | 00:07:00,602 | - Wow, this is so exciting! | - Wow, this is so exciting! |
172 | 00:07:00,637 | 00:07:02,704 | So what do we do now? Like, go detain him? | So what do we do now? Like, go detain him? |
173 | 00:07:02,739 | 00:07:03,917 | - [laughs] oh, man. | - [laughs] oh, man. |
174 | 00:07:03,941 | 00:07:05,652 | Guess they don't teach you everything | Guess they don't teach you everything |
175 | 00:07:05,676 | 00:07:06,753 | in neurobiology school. | in neurobiology school. |
176 | 00:07:06,777 | 00:07:08,777 | - Well, no, obviously not. | - Well, no, obviously not. |
177 | 00:07:08,812 | 00:07:11,680 | - As much as I love taking advice on spycraft | - As much as I love taking advice on spycraft |
178 | 00:07:11,715 | 00:07:14,549 | from civilians, you can't just go up and detain | from civilians, you can't just go up and detain |
179 | 00:07:14,585 | 00:07:16,763 | a guy with an armed bodyguard protecting him. | a guy with an armed bodyguard protecting him. |
180 | 00:07:16,787 | 00:07:17,797 | - Lana's right. | - Lana's right. |
181 | 00:07:17,821 | 00:07:19,666 | Even if we took the bodyguard out, | Even if we took the bodyguard out, |
182 | 00:07:19,690 | 00:07:22,557 | we'd have 50 russian goons on our doorstep | we'd have 50 russian goons on our doorstep |
183 | 00:07:22,593 | 00:07:23,670 | looking for blood in the morning. | looking for blood in the morning. |
184 | 00:07:23,694 | 00:07:24,838 | - Uh, yeah, that's what I'm saying. | - Uh, yeah, that's what I'm saying. |
185 | 00:07:24,862 | 00:07:26,761 | So the plan is, we go over... | So the plan is, we go over... |
186 | 00:07:26,797 | 00:07:28,964 | - excuse me, I'm in charge, and as such, | - excuse me, I'm in charge, and as such, |
187 | 00:07:28,999 | 00:07:31,933 | I have constructed our apprehension strategy. | I have constructed our apprehension strategy. |
188 | 00:07:31,969 | 00:07:34,703 | Okay, we wait for him to leave, and we tail him. | Okay, we wait for him to leave, and we tail him. |
189 | 00:07:34,738 | 00:07:35,815 | Then we find an opportunity | Then we find an opportunity |
190 | 00:07:35,839 | 00:07:37,750 | to separate him from his bodyguard, | to separate him from his bodyguard, |
191 | 00:07:37,774 | 00:07:39,919 | lure him somewhere quiet, and bring him down. | lure him somewhere quiet, and bring him down. |
192 | 00:07:39,943 | 00:07:42,844 | Voilà. A classic figgis. | Voilà. A classic figgis. |
193 | 00:07:42,880 | 00:07:45,680 | - I thought a classic figgis was when you get | - I thought a classic figgis was when you get |
194 | 00:07:45,716 | 00:07:47,760 | your genitals caught in the zipper of a sleeping bag. | your genitals caught in the zipper of a sleeping bag. |
195 | 00:07:47,784 | 00:07:49,684 | - You know very well that wasn't user error. | - You know very well that wasn't user error. |
196 | 00:07:49,720 | 00:07:51,653 | There was a factory recall! | There was a factory recall! |
197 | 00:07:51,688 | 00:07:52,866 | I'm going to the men's room real quick. | I'm going to the men's room real quick. |
198 | 00:07:52,890 | 00:07:54,756 | Don't do anything without me. | Don't do anything without me. |
199 | 00:07:55,959 | 00:08:00,562 | - So, gabrielle, how do you feel about jazz? | - So, gabrielle, how do you feel about jazz? |
200 | 00:08:00,597 | 00:08:01,597 | [urinal flushes] | [urinal flushes] |
201 | 00:08:01,632 | 00:08:02,876 | - and how are you this evening, sir? | - and how are you this evening, sir? |
202 | 00:08:02,900 | 00:08:04,866 | - Very well, thank you. | - Very well, thank you. |
203 | 00:08:04,902 | 00:08:06,735 | I actually just had a, uh, | I actually just had a, uh, |
204 | 00:08:06,770 | 00:08:07,914 | pretty big professional victory. | pretty big professional victory. |
205 | 00:08:07,938 | 00:08:09,716 | [faucet running] - that is wonderful, sir. | [faucet running] - that is wonderful, sir. |
206 | 00:08:09,740 | 00:08:10,984 | - Thanks. You know that feeling when you take | - Thanks. You know that feeling when you take |
207 | 00:08:11,008 | 00:08:13,775 | a big step forward at work and people notice? | a big step forward at work and people notice? |
208 | 00:08:13,810 | 00:08:16,678 | - Yes, sir. Very magical, sir. | - Yes, sir. Very magical, sir. |
209 | 00:08:16,713 | 00:08:19,614 | - Oh, uh, I left my wallet in my jacket, | - Oh, uh, I left my wallet in my jacket, |
210 | 00:08:19,650 | 00:08:20,715 | and I'll just... | and I'll just... |
211 | 00:08:20,751 | 00:08:22,911 | [urinal flushes] good call. I'm on a diet. | [urinal flushes] good call. I'm on a diet. |
212 | 00:08:26,023 | 00:08:27,989 | May I offer you a towel? | May I offer you a towel? |
213 | 00:08:28,025 | 00:08:29,658 | - Hey, excuse me, sir... | - Hey, excuse me, sir... |
214 | 00:08:29,693 | 00:08:31,760 | [blow lands] - [grunts] | [blow lands] - [grunts] |
215 | 00:08:31,795 | 00:08:33,662 | - [grunts] [blow lands] | - [grunts] [blow lands] |
216 | 00:08:33,697 | 00:08:35,931 | [dramatic music] | [dramatic music] |
217 | 00:08:35,966 | 00:08:38,667 | - [groans] | - [groans] |
218 | 00:08:40,037 | 00:08:42,771 | - [moaning] | - [moaning] |
219 | 00:08:42,806 | 00:08:45,840 | - ooh, he's really giving it to her. | - ooh, he's really giving it to her. |
220 | 00:08:45,876 | 00:08:47,854 | - [gasps] malory: They're leaving. | - [gasps] malory: They're leaving. |
221 | 00:08:47,878 | 00:08:49,956 | Lana: Perfect, when they get outside, we follow them. | Lana: Perfect, when they get outside, we follow them. |
222 | 00:08:49,980 | 00:08:52,047 | - Gabrielle, I'm sorry to tell you, | - Gabrielle, I'm sorry to tell you, |
223 | 00:08:52,082 | 00:08:54,649 | but you're about to dive headfirst | but you're about to dive headfirst |
224 | 00:08:54,685 | 00:08:57,018 | into a high-speed chase, so buckle up. | into a high-speed chase, so buckle up. |
225 | 00:08:57,054 | 00:08:58,865 | - Shouldn't we just leave her here? | - Shouldn't we just leave her here? |
226 | 00:08:58,889 | 00:09:00,833 | - No, lana, I'm sorry you're threatened | - No, lana, I'm sorry you're threatened |
227 | 00:09:00,857 | 00:09:03,792 | because gabrielle is so smart and accomplished and... | because gabrielle is so smart and accomplished and... |
228 | 00:09:03,827 | 00:09:06,695 | - Hot. - Thank you, horny new guy. | - Hot. - Thank you, horny new guy. |
229 | 00:09:06,730 | 00:09:08,875 | We are not ditching her. Here, put this on, gabrielle. | We are not ditching her. Here, put this on, gabrielle. |
230 | 00:09:08,899 | 00:09:10,777 | I wouldn't want you to catch cold. | I wouldn't want you to catch cold. |
231 | 00:09:10,801 | 00:09:12,934 | You should, uh, put this on to, um, | You should, uh, put this on to, um, |
232 | 00:09:12,970 | 00:09:16,004 | cover up your hideous... | cover up your hideous... |
233 | 00:09:16,039 | 00:09:17,772 | Elbows. | Elbows. |
234 | 00:09:17,808 | 00:09:19,786 | - Ya had trouble finding something, didn't ya? | - Ya had trouble finding something, didn't ya? |
235 | 00:09:19,810 | 00:09:21,943 | - Shut up, lana! | - Shut up, lana! |
236 | 00:09:21,979 | 00:09:25,780 | [lively jazz music] | [lively jazz music] |
237 | 00:09:25,816 | 00:09:27,716 | hold on. | hold on. |
238 | 00:09:29,052 | 00:09:31,064 | All right, go! Everybody into my car. | All right, go! Everybody into my car. |
239 | 00:09:31,088 | 00:09:32,721 | Cyril: Good news. | Cyril: Good news. |
240 | 00:09:32,756 | 00:09:34,055 | The bodyguard is now locked | The bodyguard is now locked |
241 | 00:09:34,091 | 00:09:36,925 | in a bathroom supply... Closet. | in a bathroom supply... Closet. |
242 | 00:09:36,960 | 00:09:38,760 | [sighs] | [sighs] |
243 | 00:09:38,795 | 00:09:39,961 | it's my mission. | it's my mission. |
244 | 00:09:39,997 | 00:09:42,731 | - Okay, so here we have the first courses, | - Okay, so here we have the first courses, |
245 | 00:09:42,766 | 00:09:44,010 | fried lobster in puff pastry | fried lobster in puff pastry |
246 | 00:09:44,034 | 00:09:46,001 | over four-cheese grits. | over four-cheese grits. |
247 | 00:09:46,036 | 00:09:49,838 | - [crying] | - [crying] |
248 | 00:09:49,873 | 00:09:50,984 | [engine revving] - all right, gabrielle, | [engine revving] - all right, gabrielle, |
249 | 00:09:51,008 | 00:09:52,986 | get ready for the ride of your... | get ready for the ride of your... |
250 | 00:09:53,010 | 00:09:54,976 | [tires squealing] | [tires squealing] |
251 | 00:09:55,012 | 00:09:56,745 | [tires screeching] | [tires screeching] |
252 | 00:09:56,780 | 00:09:57,957 | life. [horns honking] | life. [horns honking] |
253 | 00:09:57,981 | 00:09:59,848 | - uh, what did he just say? | - uh, what did he just say? |
254 | 00:09:59,883 | 00:10:01,060 | - Life, robert! He said life! | - Life, robert! He said life! |
255 | 00:10:01,084 | 00:10:02,929 | He was finishing a thought from before! | He was finishing a thought from before! |
256 | 00:10:02,953 | 00:10:05,053 | - [laughs] - archer! | - [laughs] - archer! |
257 | 00:10:05,088 | 00:10:06,165 | - I'm sorry. | - I'm sorry. |
258 | 00:10:06,189 | 00:10:08,067 | He did a "what did he just say?" | He did a "what did he just say?" |
259 | 00:10:08,091 | 00:10:10,759 | he's doing all the top ten old-guy hits, | he's doing all the top ten old-guy hits, |
260 | 00:10:10,794 | 00:10:12,074 | coast-to-coast! | coast-to-coast! |
261 | 00:10:14,214 | 00:10:15,647 | [jazzy music] | [jazzy music] |
262 | 00:10:15,749 | 00:10:16,859 | malory: This is what happens | malory: This is what happens |
263 | 00:10:16,883 | 00:10:19,684 | when you give bicyclists their own lane. | when you give bicyclists their own lane. |
264 | 00:10:19,786 | 00:10:22,454 | What's next, a lane for vegetarians? | What's next, a lane for vegetarians? |
265 | 00:10:22,556 | 00:10:23,633 | - Sorry, gabrielle. | - Sorry, gabrielle. |
266 | 00:10:23,657 | 00:10:24,867 | It's usually a little chasier than this. | It's usually a little chasier than this. |
267 | 00:10:24,891 | 00:10:26,625 | - Oh, no, don't apologize. | - Oh, no, don't apologize. |
268 | 00:10:26,727 | 00:10:28,647 | This is a great opportunity for me to get to know | This is a great opportunity for me to get to know |
269 | 00:10:28,729 | 00:10:29,906 | your friends just a little bit better. | your friends just a little bit better. |
270 | 00:10:29,930 | 00:10:32,664 | - All right, I'll start. Uh, this one's for anybody. | - All right, I'll start. Uh, this one's for anybody. |
271 | 00:10:32,699 | 00:10:35,533 | Who's ever met a potential love interest | Who's ever met a potential love interest |
272 | 00:10:35,569 | 00:10:38,870 | over the unconscious body of their child's father? | over the unconscious body of their child's father? |
273 | 00:10:38,905 | 00:10:41,806 | - Oh, my god. This again? - This again, what? | - Oh, my god. This again? - This again, what? |
274 | 00:10:41,842 | 00:10:43,808 | - Well, you got shot by a murder suspect | - Well, you got shot by a murder suspect |
275 | 00:10:43,844 | 00:10:45,577 | you were supposed to be investigating | you were supposed to be investigating |
276 | 00:10:45,612 | 00:10:48,580 | but instead were having sex with who, by the way, | but instead were having sex with who, by the way, |
277 | 00:10:48,615 | 00:10:50,782 | after shooting you, got away! | after shooting you, got away! |
278 | 00:10:51,885 | 00:10:55,553 | - Hey, look what we got going on back here. | - Hey, look what we got going on back here. |
279 | 00:10:55,589 | 00:10:57,722 | I feel like the cream inside of an ore... | I feel like the cream inside of an ore... |
280 | 00:10:57,758 | 00:11:00,625 | - do not finish that sentence. | - do not finish that sentence. |
281 | 00:11:02,729 | 00:11:03,906 | - Hey, kyle. | - Hey, kyle. |
282 | 00:11:03,930 | 00:11:06,598 | Would you mind parking the dessert cart over here? | Would you mind parking the dessert cart over here? |
283 | 00:11:06,633 | 00:11:08,578 | And you might want to throw the emergency brake on, | And you might want to throw the emergency brake on, |
284 | 00:11:08,602 | 00:11:11,636 | because I have a feeling things could go sideways pretty fast. | because I have a feeling things could go sideways pretty fast. |
285 | 00:11:11,672 | 00:11:14,606 | - Actually, sir, some diners have been complaining | - Actually, sir, some diners have been complaining |
286 | 00:11:14,641 | 00:11:16,741 | that your constant crying and chewing | that your constant crying and chewing |
287 | 00:11:16,777 | 00:11:17,876 | is bumming them out. | is bumming them out. |
288 | 00:11:17,911 | 00:11:19,644 | [whispering] if you wouldn't mind... | [whispering] if you wouldn't mind... |
289 | 00:11:19,680 | 00:11:22,614 | - Oh, they didn't leave a credit card? | - Oh, they didn't leave a credit card? |
290 | 00:11:22,649 | 00:11:23,815 | Jeezy petes! | Jeezy petes! |
291 | 00:11:23,850 | 00:11:27,619 | I had a serving of bone marrow, not a goddamn transplant. | I had a serving of bone marrow, not a goddamn transplant. |
292 | 00:11:27,654 | 00:11:29,688 | [sighs] all right, I... | [sighs] all right, I... |
293 | 00:11:29,723 | 00:11:31,589 | Hey! My jacket's gone! | Hey! My jacket's gone! |
294 | 00:11:31,625 | 00:11:33,858 | Listen, kyle, my wallet was in my jacket, | Listen, kyle, my wallet was in my jacket, |
295 | 00:11:33,894 | 00:11:35,872 | and it appears my friends must've grabbed it. | and it appears my friends must've grabbed it. |
296 | 00:11:35,896 | 00:11:37,640 | So I'm gonna have to... [footsteps approaching] | So I'm gonna have to... [footsteps approaching] |
297 | 00:11:37,664 | 00:11:38,941 | to have someone come down | to have someone come down |
298 | 00:11:38,965 | 00:11:40,977 | and meet me here with a credit card. | and meet me here with a credit card. |
299 | 00:11:41,001 | 00:11:42,734 | - There you go. | - There you go. |
300 | 00:11:46,873 | 00:11:50,675 | - Don't spray that urine on my son's window. | - Don't spray that urine on my son's window. |
301 | 00:11:50,711 | 00:11:53,611 | If you want a dollar for doing nothing, walk to canada. | If you want a dollar for doing nothing, walk to canada. |
302 | 00:11:53,647 | 00:11:55,892 | - What are you even doing on this mission to begin with? | - What are you even doing on this mission to begin with? |
303 | 00:11:55,916 | 00:11:57,649 | - Cyril needed me. | - Cyril needed me. |
304 | 00:11:57,684 | 00:11:59,617 | It would've looked weird for him to be sitting | It would've looked weird for him to be sitting |
305 | 00:11:59,653 | 00:12:00,919 | at that restaurant all alone. | at that restaurant all alone. |
306 | 00:12:00,954 | 00:12:02,721 | - Who were you supposed to be? | - Who were you supposed to be? |
307 | 00:12:02,756 | 00:12:04,589 | - His date, obviously. | - His date, obviously. |
308 | 00:12:04,624 | 00:12:05,824 | [laughter] | [laughter] |
309 | 00:12:05,859 | 00:12:08,660 | - excuse me, it's not that crazy at all | - excuse me, it's not that crazy at all |
310 | 00:12:08,695 | 00:12:09,872 | that these two would be together. | that these two would be together. |
311 | 00:12:09,896 | 00:12:12,831 | Not much further apart in age than lana and I are. | Not much further apart in age than lana and I are. |
312 | 00:12:12,866 | 00:12:14,877 | - Self-burn. - Plus, she's beautiful | - Self-burn. - Plus, she's beautiful |
313 | 00:12:14,901 | 00:12:16,601 | and successful. | and successful. |
314 | 00:12:16,636 | 00:12:18,648 | You know who you remind me of, malory? | You know who you remind me of, malory? |
315 | 00:12:18,672 | 00:12:19,738 | My ex-wife. | My ex-wife. |
316 | 00:12:19,773 | 00:12:22,640 | - Malory reminds you of linda? The supermodel? | - Malory reminds you of linda? The supermodel? |
317 | 00:12:22,676 | 00:12:23,842 | - No, no, no, no, no, no. | - No, no, no, no, no, no. |
318 | 00:12:23,877 | 00:12:26,644 | I'm talking about zelda, my first ex-wife. | I'm talking about zelda, my first ex-wife. |
319 | 00:12:26,680 | 00:12:28,947 | Linda was my third ex-wife. - Your what? | Linda was my third ex-wife. - Your what? |
320 | 00:12:28,982 | 00:12:30,849 | - Oh, bobby, bobby, bobby. | - Oh, bobby, bobby, bobby. |
321 | 00:12:30,884 | 00:12:33,852 | I think the phrase you're looking for is "gulp." | I think the phrase you're looking for is "gulp." |
322 | 00:12:33,887 | 00:12:36,788 | [laughter] | [laughter] |
323 | 00:12:37,891 | 00:12:40,002 | - what's wrong with your face, krieger? | - what's wrong with your face, krieger? |
324 | 00:12:40,026 | 00:12:43,027 | - Yeah. Did you rack your nuts on your proton pack? | - Yeah. Did you rack your nuts on your proton pack? |
325 | 00:12:43,063 | 00:12:44,796 | - [laughs] | - [laughs] |
326 | 00:12:44,831 | 00:12:47,966 | - oh, mitsuko and I got into an argument. | - oh, mitsuko and I got into an argument. |
327 | 00:12:48,001 | 00:12:50,869 | She said she thinks maybe her feelings are changing about us. | She said she thinks maybe her feelings are changing about us. |
328 | 00:12:50,904 | 00:12:52,615 | - Let me tell you something everyone hears | - Let me tell you something everyone hears |
329 | 00:12:52,639 | 00:12:53,850 | at some point in their lives: | at some point in their lives: |
330 | 00:12:53,874 | 00:12:55,918 | That anime hologram's just not that into you. | That anime hologram's just not that into you. |
331 | 00:12:55,942 | 00:12:58,610 | - No! It's probably just a phase, right? | - No! It's probably just a phase, right? |
332 | 00:12:58,645 | 00:13:00,678 | [phone rings] - yello? | [phone rings] - yello? |
333 | 00:13:00,714 | 00:13:02,847 | - Pam! Listen! [chuckles awkwardly] | - Pam! Listen! [chuckles awkwardly] |
334 | 00:13:02,883 | 00:13:04,749 | I need you to come to l'orange. | I need you to come to l'orange. |
335 | 00:13:04,785 | 00:13:06,729 | Archer stuck me with a huge tab, | Archer stuck me with a huge tab, |
336 | 00:13:06,753 | 00:13:08,931 | then left with my coat which had my wallet in it, | then left with my coat which had my wallet in it, |
337 | 00:13:08,955 | 00:13:11,723 | and there's a menacing busboy who won't stop staring at me. | and there's a menacing busboy who won't stop staring at me. |
338 | 00:13:11,758 | 00:13:13,736 | Pam: And you want me to come over there | Pam: And you want me to come over there |
339 | 00:13:13,760 | 00:13:15,972 | and blow a busboy so he'll forget about your dinner tab. | and blow a busboy so he'll forget about your dinner tab. |
340 | 00:13:15,996 | 00:13:18,930 | - What? No, come with money to pay the tab. | - What? No, come with money to pay the tab. |
341 | 00:13:18,965 | 00:13:20,965 | Pam: Oh. Lame. | Pam: Oh. Lame. |
342 | 00:13:21,001 | 00:13:22,812 | - Okay, let me get this straight. | - Okay, let me get this straight. |
343 | 00:13:22,836 | 00:13:25,904 | You've been married four times and it never occurred to you | You've been married four times and it never occurred to you |
344 | 00:13:25,939 | 00:13:28,673 | to share that information with your wife? | to share that information with your wife? |
345 | 00:13:28,708 | 00:13:29,908 | - It's personal, dear. | - It's personal, dear. |
346 | 00:13:29,943 | 00:13:32,710 | I didn't ask you how many times you'd been married. | I didn't ask you how many times you'd been married. |
347 | 00:13:32,746 | 00:13:34,924 | - Zero! I'd been married zero times! | - Zero! I'd been married zero times! |
348 | 00:13:34,948 | 00:13:36,815 | - Well, now I see why. | - Well, now I see why. |
349 | 00:13:36,850 | 00:13:38,917 | - [laughs] | - [laughs] |
350 | 00:13:38,952 | 00:13:39,996 | - who were they? | - who were they? |
351 | 00:13:40,020 | 00:13:41,786 | - Linda, of course. | - Linda, of course. |
352 | 00:13:41,822 | 00:13:44,055 | Then hafsa, she was a gift from the saudi crown. | Then hafsa, she was a gift from the saudi crown. |
353 | 00:13:44,090 | 00:13:46,991 | Would've been rude to say no. And then zelda. | Would've been rude to say no. And then zelda. |
354 | 00:13:47,027 | 00:13:50,895 | We didn't technically divorce. I lost her on safari. | We didn't technically divorce. I lost her on safari. |
355 | 00:13:50,931 | 00:13:52,975 | - Oh, my god, this guy's on fire. | - Oh, my god, this guy's on fire. |
356 | 00:13:52,999 | 00:13:55,800 | - I'm not sure if it's a big deal, but... | - I'm not sure if it's a big deal, but... |
357 | 00:13:55,836 | 00:13:57,814 | That guy you're following, he just got out of that cab. | That guy you're following, he just got out of that cab. |
358 | 00:13:57,838 | 00:13:59,871 | - Damn it, he's getting away! Follow him! | - Damn it, he's getting away! Follow him! |
359 | 00:13:59,906 | 00:14:00,872 | - I can't, mother! | - I can't, mother! |
360 | 00:14:00,907 | 00:14:02,018 | What do you want me to do, | What do you want me to do, |
361 | 00:14:02,042 | 00:14:04,909 | just leave the car here in the middle of 5th ave? | just leave the car here in the middle of 5th ave? |
362 | 00:14:04,945 | 00:14:06,978 | - Oh, yes, big smiles. | - Oh, yes, big smiles. |
363 | 00:14:07,013 | 00:14:09,881 | I, too, would be excited if I were about to overdose | I, too, would be excited if I were about to overdose |
364 | 00:14:09,916 | 00:14:12,817 | somewhere in a hollowed-out box spring. | somewhere in a hollowed-out box spring. |
365 | 00:14:12,853 | 00:14:14,096 | - You know, I've always thought | - You know, I've always thought |
366 | 00:14:14,120 | 00:14:17,055 | that busboys were the backbone of the restaurant industry. | that busboys were the backbone of the restaurant industry. |
367 | 00:14:17,090 | 00:14:22,093 | - I'm a woman. - And a beautiful one at that. | - I'm a woman. - And a beautiful one at that. |
368 | 00:14:22,128 | 00:14:25,830 | There you are! - Oh, you look like shit, dude. | There you are! - Oh, you look like shit, dude. |
369 | 00:14:25,866 | 00:14:26,876 | Have you been crying? | Have you been crying? |
370 | 00:14:26,900 | 00:14:29,000 | - Crying? [laughs] no. | - Crying? [laughs] no. |
371 | 00:14:29,035 | 00:14:30,146 | All: Yes! - [cries] | All: Yes! - [cries] |
372 | 00:14:30,170 | 00:14:32,871 | - okay, oh, cyril. | - okay, oh, cyril. |
373 | 00:14:32,906 | 00:14:34,806 | Come on, let's get out of here. | Come on, let's get out of here. |
374 | 00:14:34,841 | 00:14:35,985 | - [clears throat] cyril: Oh, uh, | - [clears throat] cyril: Oh, uh, |
375 | 00:14:36,009 | 00:14:37,049 | right, the tab, uh... | right, the tab, uh... |
376 | 00:14:37,077 | 00:14:39,055 | - cyril, don't worry about the tab. | - cyril, don't worry about the tab. |
377 | 00:14:39,079 | 00:14:40,845 | I got this. | I got this. |
378 | 00:14:40,881 | 00:14:43,781 | [shouting] this waiter just touched my breasts! | [shouting] this waiter just touched my breasts! |
379 | 00:14:43,817 | 00:14:44,883 | [people gasp] | [people gasp] |
380 | 00:14:44,918 | 00:14:46,784 | - what? | - what? |
381 | 00:14:46,820 | 00:14:48,130 | - Again, I just can't put into words | - Again, I just can't put into words |
382 | 00:14:48,154 | 00:14:49,154 | how mortified I am. | how mortified I am. |
383 | 00:14:49,189 | 00:14:50,900 | - Well, you should be mortified. | - Well, you should be mortified. |
384 | 00:14:50,924 | 00:14:52,802 | I know my breasts certainly are. | I know my breasts certainly are. |
385 | 00:14:52,826 | 00:14:53,925 | Right, ladies? | Right, ladies? |
386 | 00:14:53,960 | 00:14:55,059 | - Hey, hot shot, | - Hey, hot shot, |
387 | 00:14:55,095 | 00:14:58,763 | call me if you ever want to have your world rocked. | call me if you ever want to have your world rocked. |
388 | 00:14:58,798 | 00:15:01,933 | Lana: You voted libertarian? Robert: Sure, twice. | Lana: You voted libertarian? Robert: Sure, twice. |
389 | 00:15:01,968 | 00:15:04,802 | Hey, I know seat belts save lives, | Hey, I know seat belts save lives, |
390 | 00:15:04,838 | 00:15:07,839 | but who is the government to require me to wear one? | but who is the government to require me to wear one? |
391 | 00:15:07,874 | 00:15:09,051 | - Is there anything else you haven't told me? | - Is there anything else you haven't told me? |
392 | 00:15:09,075 | 00:15:10,820 | - No. - In my experience, | - No. - In my experience, |
393 | 00:15:10,844 | 00:15:13,155 | you have to ask exploratory questions, like... | you have to ask exploratory questions, like... |
394 | 00:15:13,179 | 00:15:15,157 | Robert, have you ever done anything | Robert, have you ever done anything |
395 | 00:15:15,181 | 00:15:17,782 | that you're deeply sad about? | that you're deeply sad about? |
396 | 00:15:17,817 | 00:15:21,853 | - I mean, I guess if I had to pick one thing... | - I mean, I guess if I had to pick one thing... |
397 | 00:15:21,888 | 00:15:24,122 | Oh, gosh, it'd be the dogs. | Oh, gosh, it'd be the dogs. |
398 | 00:15:24,157 | 00:15:25,123 | - The dogs? | - The dogs? |
399 | 00:15:25,158 | 00:15:28,793 | - I've had 11 dogs die on me. | - I've had 11 dogs die on me. |
400 | 00:15:28,828 | 00:15:30,962 | - 11? How is that possible? | - 11? How is that possible? |
401 | 00:15:30,997 | 00:15:34,198 | - Well, you know, there's just a huge language barrier. | - Well, you know, there's just a huge language barrier. |
402 | 00:15:34,234 | 00:15:37,068 | - [shouting] oh, my god, what the hell is wrong with you? | - [shouting] oh, my god, what the hell is wrong with you? |
403 | 00:15:37,103 | 00:15:38,881 | - [southern accent] what beautiful architecture | - [southern accent] what beautiful architecture |
404 | 00:15:38,905 | 00:15:41,806 | they have here in new york city, new york, | they have here in new york city, new york, |
405 | 00:15:41,841 | 00:15:44,809 | where we are visiting as tourists. | where we are visiting as tourists. |
406 | 00:15:47,847 | 00:15:49,191 | [whispering] jesus christ, lana, will you quit fighting | [whispering] jesus christ, lana, will you quit fighting |
407 | 00:15:49,215 | 00:15:51,093 | with your husband before you give us away? | with your husband before you give us away? |
408 | 00:15:51,117 | 00:15:52,929 | - [angry whisper] we wouldn't be in a fight if you hadn't | - [angry whisper] we wouldn't be in a fight if you hadn't |
409 | 00:15:52,953 | 00:15:54,830 | set up this stupid double date in the first place. | set up this stupid double date in the first place. |
410 | 00:15:54,854 | 00:15:55,954 | [loudly] boy howdy. | [loudly] boy howdy. |
411 | 00:15:55,989 | 00:15:57,133 | I sure hope someday we get these kind | I sure hope someday we get these kind |
412 | 00:15:57,157 | 00:16:00,858 | of tall buildings back at home in... Arizona. | of tall buildings back at home in... Arizona. |
413 | 00:16:00,894 | 00:16:02,838 | - Shit, he's heading to the park. | - Shit, he's heading to the park. |
414 | 00:16:02,862 | 00:16:05,830 | [soft dramatic music] | [soft dramatic music] |
415 | 00:16:05,865 | 00:16:08,166 | ♪ ♪ | ♪ ♪ |
416 | 00:16:08,201 | 00:16:09,979 | follow that horse! And step on it! | follow that horse! And step on it! |
417 | 00:16:10,003 | 00:16:12,048 | [driver clicks tongue, horse whinnies] | [driver clicks tongue, horse whinnies] |
418 | 00:16:12,072 | 00:16:13,972 | - you there, follow that cab! | - you there, follow that cab! |
419 | 00:16:14,007 | 00:16:17,008 | - On a break. - Let me try. | - On a break. - Let me try. |
420 | 00:16:17,043 | 00:16:20,912 | Well, I can see why they call it a hansom cab. | Well, I can see why they call it a hansom cab. |
421 | 00:16:20,947 | 00:16:23,114 | You sure are the best-looking son of a gun | You sure are the best-looking son of a gun |
422 | 00:16:23,149 | 00:16:24,916 | I've seen all night. | I've seen all night. |
423 | 00:16:24,951 | 00:16:26,195 | - Oh, is that a fact? | - Oh, is that a fact? |
424 | 00:16:26,219 | 00:16:28,953 | - Oh, I was talking to the horse. | - Oh, I was talking to the horse. |
425 | 00:16:28,989 | 00:16:30,955 | I figured he ran the business. | I figured he ran the business. |
426 | 00:16:30,991 | 00:16:32,924 | [both laugh] | [both laugh] |
427 | 00:16:32,959 | 00:16:34,859 | - gosh, oh, that's good. | - gosh, oh, that's good. |
428 | 00:16:36,663 | 00:16:38,930 | [dramatic music] | [dramatic music] |
429 | 00:16:39,032 | 00:16:40,898 | - hmm, they seem to be in love. | - hmm, they seem to be in love. |
430 | 00:16:41,000 | 00:16:43,045 | Wonder whose still-breathing body they met over. | Wonder whose still-breathing body they met over. |
431 | 00:16:43,069 | 00:16:45,147 | - Oh, my god, you are absolutely cracked in the head. | - Oh, my god, you are absolutely cracked in the head. |
432 | 00:16:45,171 | 00:16:48,039 | We weren't even together when you went into a coma, okay? | We weren't even together when you went into a coma, okay? |
433 | 00:16:48,074 | 00:16:50,019 | You were banging some old broad who then, | You were banging some old broad who then, |
434 | 00:16:50,043 | 00:16:52,076 | god bless her soul, shot you. | god bless her soul, shot you. |
435 | 00:16:52,112 | 00:16:54,912 | - Better to be shot than stabbed in the back, lana. | - Better to be shot than stabbed in the back, lana. |
436 | 00:16:54,948 | 00:16:57,048 | - I'm surprised this isn't something you've mentioned | - I'm surprised this isn't something you've mentioned |
437 | 00:16:57,083 | 00:17:00,051 | about your time in a coma if it bothers you so much. | about your time in a coma if it bothers you so much. |
438 | 00:17:00,086 | 00:17:01,786 | - Oh, it doesn't. | - Oh, it doesn't. |
439 | 00:17:01,821 | 00:17:03,099 | - Why do you even care that I'm with robert? | - Why do you even care that I'm with robert? |
440 | 00:17:03,123 | 00:17:04,934 | - I don't! - It was clear that you | - I don't! - It was clear that you |
441 | 00:17:04,958 | 00:17:06,068 | were never going to commit to me. | were never going to commit to me. |
442 | 00:17:06,092 | 00:17:07,058 | - You don't know that! | - You don't know that! |
443 | 00:17:07,093 | 00:17:09,827 | - So if lana hadn't met robert... | - So if lana hadn't met robert... |
444 | 00:17:09,863 | 00:17:11,841 | - Over my still very much alive body | - Over my still very much alive body |
445 | 00:17:11,865 | 00:17:13,008 | with a functioning sex organ, | with a functioning sex organ, |
446 | 00:17:13,032 | 00:17:15,010 | as I imagine was included in my records. | as I imagine was included in my records. |
447 | 00:17:15,034 | 00:17:18,069 | - Then you would've wanted to be together? | - Then you would've wanted to be together? |
448 | 00:17:18,104 | 00:17:19,137 | - Excuse me! | - Excuse me! |
449 | 00:17:19,172 | 00:17:20,772 | Whose ass do I have to kiss | Whose ass do I have to kiss |
450 | 00:17:20,807 | 00:17:21,917 | to get more hot cocoa back here? | to get more hot cocoa back here? |
451 | 00:17:21,941 | 00:17:23,040 | [horse whinnies] | [horse whinnies] |
452 | 00:17:23,076 | 00:17:24,842 | - coney island? | - coney island? |
453 | 00:17:24,878 | 00:17:26,922 | Look, I appreciate you guys bringing me here | Look, I appreciate you guys bringing me here |
454 | 00:17:26,946 | 00:17:28,991 | to cheer me up, but I'm a grown man. | to cheer me up, but I'm a grown man. |
455 | 00:17:29,015 | 00:17:30,815 | - Oh, cheer you up? | - Oh, cheer you up? |
456 | 00:17:30,850 | 00:17:33,050 | A waiter just touched my breasts, asshole. | A waiter just touched my breasts, asshole. |
457 | 00:17:33,086 | 00:17:34,897 | - If you're in need of some cheering up, | - If you're in need of some cheering up, |
458 | 00:17:34,921 | 00:17:37,066 | this is the place. Come on. | this is the place. Come on. |
459 | 00:17:37,090 | 00:17:40,091 | Whoa, look! Wacky mirrors! | Whoa, look! Wacky mirrors! |
460 | 00:17:40,126 | 00:17:43,094 | [carnival music playing] | [carnival music playing] |
461 | 00:17:43,129 | 00:17:44,996 | ♪ ♪ | ♪ ♪ |
462 | 00:17:45,031 | 00:17:46,031 | malory: Driver! | malory: Driver! |
463 | 00:17:46,065 | 00:17:47,865 | Now we're going too fast! | Now we're going too fast! |
464 | 00:17:47,901 | 00:17:49,901 | We're trying to follow that horse in front of us, | We're trying to follow that horse in front of us, |
465 | 00:17:49,936 | 00:17:51,035 | not inseminate it. | not inseminate it. |
466 | 00:17:51,070 | 00:17:53,149 | - I remember when the park was a place you'd come | - I remember when the park was a place you'd come |
467 | 00:17:53,173 | 00:17:55,807 | to get away from the hustle and bustle. | to get away from the hustle and bustle. |
468 | 00:17:55,842 | 00:17:58,843 | - Me too. I had an aunt who'd take me here. | - Me too. I had an aunt who'd take me here. |
469 | 00:17:58,878 | 00:18:00,823 | We'd sit on a park bench for hours, | We'd sit on a park bench for hours, |
470 | 00:18:00,847 | 00:18:03,915 | just chatting and throwing lit matches at the pigeons. | just chatting and throwing lit matches at the pigeons. |
471 | 00:18:03,950 | 00:18:05,995 | - My friends and I would feed the pigeons alka-seltzer, | - My friends and I would feed the pigeons alka-seltzer, |
472 | 00:18:06,019 | 00:18:07,885 | watch them explode! | watch them explode! |
473 | 00:18:07,921 | 00:18:09,086 | [both laugh] | [both laugh] |
474 | 00:18:09,122 | 00:18:10,988 | yeah! | yeah! |
475 | 00:18:11,024 | 00:18:12,957 | Both: Slow the hell down! | Both: Slow the hell down! |
476 | 00:18:12,992 | 00:18:15,860 | - Come on, buddy, what's got you so down? | - Come on, buddy, what's got you so down? |
477 | 00:18:15,895 | 00:18:19,030 | You can talk to ol' pam. - It's... Archer. | You can talk to ol' pam. - It's... Archer. |
478 | 00:18:19,065 | 00:18:20,865 | - And what about him? | - And what about him? |
479 | 00:18:20,900 | 00:18:22,834 | - I hate him! | - I hate him! |
480 | 00:18:22,869 | 00:18:25,036 | I hate his stupid face! | I hate his stupid face! |
481 | 00:18:25,071 | 00:18:26,971 | And his stupid car! | And his stupid car! |
482 | 00:18:27,006 | 00:18:28,840 | And his stupid coma cane! | And his stupid coma cane! |
483 | 00:18:28,875 | 00:18:29,919 | And his stupid... [machine buzzing] | And his stupid... [machine buzzing] |
484 | 00:18:29,943 | 00:18:32,143 | doesn't give me the respect I deserve! | doesn't give me the respect I deserve! |
485 | 00:18:32,178 | 00:18:34,223 | How hard is it for you to acknowledge | How hard is it for you to acknowledge |
486 | 00:18:34,247 | 00:18:37,181 | the good shape I've gotten in? Ah! | the good shape I've gotten in? Ah! |
487 | 00:18:37,217 | 00:18:40,852 | How much I've improved as a field agent? Ah! | How much I've improved as a field agent? Ah! |
488 | 00:18:40,887 | 00:18:43,955 | I learned mandarin, for christ's sake! | I learned mandarin, for christ's sake! |
489 | 00:18:43,990 | 00:18:46,101 | I hate you, sterling archer! | I hate you, sterling archer! |
490 | 00:18:46,125 | 00:18:48,037 | I hate you and everything you've done | I hate you and everything you've done |
491 | 00:18:48,061 | 00:18:50,061 | to make me feel this... agh! | to make me feel this... agh! |
492 | 00:18:52,098 | 00:18:54,131 | - Cyril, I see the job you're doing. | - Cyril, I see the job you're doing. |
493 | 00:18:54,167 | 00:18:57,034 | You've been knocking it out of the park as a field agent. | You've been knocking it out of the park as a field agent. |
494 | 00:18:57,070 | 00:18:59,003 | - Really? - Really. | - Really? - Really. |
495 | 00:18:59,038 | 00:19:00,838 | When I thought archer was dead, | When I thought archer was dead, |
496 | 00:19:00,874 | 00:19:04,041 | I literally said, "well, at least we still got cyril." | I literally said, "well, at least we still got cyril." |
497 | 00:19:04,077 | 00:19:05,087 | - you did? | - you did? |
498 | 00:19:05,111 | 00:19:06,111 | - Sure. | - Sure. |
499 | 00:19:06,145 | 00:19:07,945 | I need the agency to stay afloat. | I need the agency to stay afloat. |
500 | 00:19:07,981 | 00:19:09,146 | I can't get another job. | I can't get another job. |
501 | 00:19:09,182 | 00:19:12,149 | I have, like, a shit-ton of felonies. | I have, like, a shit-ton of felonies. |
502 | 00:19:12,185 | 00:19:14,029 | - [chuckles, sniffles] thanks, pam. | - [chuckles, sniffles] thanks, pam. |
503 | 00:19:14,053 | 00:19:15,887 | [machine buzzes] [yelps] | [machine buzzes] [yelps] |
504 | 00:19:18,191 | 00:19:20,925 | gabrielle: Then why did you set this double date up, archer? | gabrielle: Then why did you set this double date up, archer? |
505 | 00:19:20,960 | 00:19:22,104 | - Seriously, out of all the women | - Seriously, out of all the women |
506 | 00:19:22,128 | 00:19:23,172 | you could've asked out... | you could've asked out... |
507 | 00:19:23,196 | 00:19:25,107 | - Of which there are literally billions. | - Of which there are literally billions. |
508 | 00:19:25,131 | 00:19:27,098 | - Proving her point. - Damn it. | - Proving her point. - Damn it. |
509 | 00:19:27,133 | 00:19:30,902 | - You chose one that kinda, well, is my doppelganger? | - You chose one that kinda, well, is my doppelganger? |
510 | 00:19:30,937 | 00:19:32,904 | - Yeah, why is that, archer? | - Yeah, why is that, archer? |
511 | 00:19:32,939 | 00:19:34,016 | - Um, if you two are through playing | - Um, if you two are through playing |
512 | 00:19:34,040 | 00:19:36,107 | amateur neuropsychobiologist, | amateur neuropsychobiologist, |
513 | 00:19:36,142 | 00:19:39,010 | our russian is headed for the subway. | our russian is headed for the subway. |
514 | 00:19:39,045 | 00:19:42,914 | ♪ ♪ | ♪ ♪ |
515 | 00:19:42,949 | 00:19:44,293 | - archer, I'll come at them from around the back. | - archer, I'll come at them from around the back. |
516 | 00:19:44,317 | 00:19:46,128 | You approach them from the left flank. | You approach them from the left flank. |
517 | 00:19:46,152 | 00:19:47,196 | - I almost hate to do it. | - I almost hate to do it. |
518 | 00:19:47,220 | 00:19:49,921 | Those two look really happy together. | Those two look really happy together. |
519 | 00:19:49,956 | 00:19:52,167 | - Yeah. It's nice to be in love with someone. | - Yeah. It's nice to be in love with someone. |
520 | 00:19:52,191 | 00:19:54,091 | You should try it. | You should try it. |
521 | 00:19:54,127 | 00:19:56,127 | - Well, if it means being as happy | - Well, if it means being as happy |
522 | 00:19:56,162 | 00:19:59,964 | as that russian hacker and his girlfriend, I actually... | as that russian hacker and his girlfriend, I actually... |
523 | 00:19:59,999 | 00:20:01,176 | All: Oh! - God damn it. | All: Oh! - God damn it. |
524 | 00:20:01,200 | 00:20:03,200 | - Oh-ho-ho-no! | - Oh-ho-ho-no! |
525 | 00:20:04,971 | 00:20:08,172 | - Ew. Should we call the police? | - Ew. Should we call the police? |
526 | 00:20:08,207 | 00:20:09,240 | Both: Meh. | Both: Meh. |
527 | 00:20:13,012 | 00:20:15,224 | - So, gabrielle, this is usually the part of the date | - So, gabrielle, this is usually the part of the date |
528 | 00:20:15,248 | 00:20:17,326 | when we head back to my place for great sex. | when we head back to my place for great sex. |
529 | 00:20:17,350 | 00:20:21,218 | - Archer, look, you seem like a really nice guy... | - Archer, look, you seem like a really nice guy... |
530 | 00:20:21,254 | 00:20:23,020 | - Ha! - Shut up, lana. | - Ha! - Shut up, lana. |
531 | 00:20:23,056 | 00:20:24,233 | You were saying? Nice guy. | You were saying? Nice guy. |
532 | 00:20:24,257 | 00:20:26,324 | Fully functioning sex organ. Go on. | Fully functioning sex organ. Go on. |
533 | 00:20:26,359 | 00:20:29,126 | - But it's clear you still have feelings for lana. | - But it's clear you still have feelings for lana. |
534 | 00:20:29,162 | 00:20:31,329 | - [laughs] wait, me? For her? | - [laughs] wait, me? For her? |
535 | 00:20:31,364 | 00:20:34,999 | Wh-why would I want lana when I could have you? | Wh-why would I want lana when I could have you? |
536 | 00:20:35,034 | 00:20:38,269 | A totally different noncomparable unique person | A totally different noncomparable unique person |
537 | 00:20:38,304 | 00:20:42,306 | who... Shouldn't be exploited for personal vendettas, sorry. | who... Shouldn't be exploited for personal vendettas, sorry. |
538 | 00:20:42,342 | 00:20:45,409 | - Yeah, that part. It was nice to meet ya, lana. | - Yeah, that part. It was nice to meet ya, lana. |
539 | 00:20:45,445 | 00:20:48,112 | Uh, maybe we could get together sometime. | Uh, maybe we could get together sometime. |
540 | 00:20:48,147 | 00:20:49,992 | - You know what? I actually would not mind | - You know what? I actually would not mind |
541 | 00:20:50,016 | 00:20:51,160 | hanging out with you again. | hanging out with you again. |
542 | 00:20:51,184 | 00:20:52,261 | Archer: Hey, wait, gabrielle. | Archer: Hey, wait, gabrielle. |
543 | 00:20:52,285 | 00:20:54,151 | But... Sex time. | But... Sex time. |
544 | 00:20:54,187 | 00:20:55,286 | Gabrielle! | Gabrielle! |
545 | 00:20:57,156 | 00:20:59,234 | - Aw, you liked her, didn't you? | - Aw, you liked her, didn't you? |
546 | 00:20:59,258 | 00:21:00,224 | - I don't know. | - I don't know. |
547 | 00:21:00,259 | 00:21:01,225 | - But you didn't realize it | - But you didn't realize it |
548 | 00:21:01,260 | 00:21:02,371 | till just now, huh? | till just now, huh? |
549 | 00:21:02,395 | 00:21:03,995 | - [grunts] maybe. | - [grunts] maybe. |
550 | 00:21:04,030 | 00:21:05,240 | - I mean, I thought she was great. | - I mean, I thought she was great. |
551 | 00:21:05,264 | 00:21:08,366 | - Whatever. - I mean, smart, charming. | - Whatever. - I mean, smart, charming. |
552 | 00:21:08,401 | 00:21:10,279 | And those cans, am I right? | And those cans, am I right? |
553 | 00:21:10,303 | 00:21:13,004 | - Yeah, they looked pretty squeezy. | - Yeah, they looked pretty squeezy. |
554 | 00:21:13,039 | 00:21:14,316 | - Thinking maybe instead of asking her out | - Thinking maybe instead of asking her out |
555 | 00:21:14,340 | 00:21:16,085 | to make me jealous, you should've just | to make me jealous, you should've just |
556 | 00:21:16,109 | 00:21:18,669 | asked her out because she's awesome. | asked her out because she's awesome. |
557 | 00:21:20,113 | 00:21:23,114 | [jazzy music] | [jazzy music] |
558 | 00:21:23,149 | 00:21:25,082 | ♪ ♪ | ♪ ♪ |
559 | 00:21:25,118 | 00:21:27,184 | honey, I'm home. | honey, I'm home. |
560 | 00:21:27,220 | 00:21:29,198 | Man [over tv]: You know what I'd do if I were you? | Man [over tv]: You know what I'd do if I were you? |
561 | 00:21:29,222 | 00:21:31,233 | - Wait, wait, wait, wait, this is my favorite part! | - Wait, wait, wait, wait, this is my favorite part! |
562 | 00:21:31,257 | 00:21:33,090 | - Mine too! | - Mine too! |
563 | 00:21:33,126 | 00:21:36,160 | All: Fill my boots with lead and jump in the ocean, | All: Fill my boots with lead and jump in the ocean, |
564 | 00:21:36,195 | 00:21:38,329 | you pig-nosed gypsy! | you pig-nosed gypsy! |
565 | 00:21:38,364 | 00:21:40,175 | [laughter] [machine gun fire on tv] | [laughter] [machine gun fire on tv] |
566 | 00:21:40,199 | 00:21:41,243 | - oh, gosh, that's good. | - oh, gosh, that's good. |
567 | 00:21:41,267 | 00:21:43,787 | - [sighs] fantastic. | - [sighs] fantastic. |
568 | 00:22:04,290 | 00:22:07,224 | - Made in georgia. | - Made in georgia. |
569 | 00:22:07,248 | 00:22:09,248 | >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org | >>>>oakislandtk |