# Start End Original Translated
1 00:00:03,304 00:00:10,275 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
2 00:00:15,683 00:00:18,384 - [clears throat] - [clears throat]
3 00:00:20,554 00:00:23,589 [ice crunching] [ice crunching]
4 00:00:23,624 00:00:30,562 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
5 00:00:31,632 00:00:34,633 - welcome to l'orange. I'll be your server, kyle. - welcome to l'orange. I'll be your server, kyle.
6 00:00:34,668 00:00:36,335 Our specials tonight... Our specials tonight...
7 00:00:36,370 00:00:37,647 - damn it, kyle, are you blind? - damn it, kyle, are you blind?
8 00:00:37,671 00:00:39,449 We're in the middle of a conversation. We're in the middle of a conversation.
9 00:00:39,473 00:00:41,673 - I'm so sorry. [sighs] - I'm so sorry. [sighs]
10 00:00:41,709 00:00:43,375 I'll come back. I'll come back.
11 00:00:45,746 00:00:49,348 - Actually, I kinda wish we'd heard the specials now. - Actually, I kinda wish we'd heard the specials now.
12 00:00:49,383 00:00:50,482 [sighs] [sighs]
13 00:00:50,518 00:00:52,718 this is fun. So fun, right? this is fun. So fun, right?
14 00:00:55,356 00:00:58,323 [main title theme] [main title theme]
15 00:00:58,359 00:01:05,297 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
16 00:01:32,143 00:01:33,303 robert: This was a doozy robert: This was a doozy
17 00:01:33,344 00:01:34,576 of an idea, archer. of an idea, archer.
18 00:01:34,678 00:01:36,011 I just love double dates. I just love double dates.
19 00:01:36,113 00:01:37,591 - You're at a restaurant, robert. - You're at a restaurant, robert.
20 00:01:37,615 00:01:40,282 We can trade money for food here. We can trade money for food here.
21 00:01:40,384 00:01:41,428 Sorry about that, gabrielle. Sorry about that, gabrielle.
22 00:01:41,452 00:01:43,585 At his age, robert gets confused easily. At his age, robert gets confused easily.
23 00:01:43,621 00:01:45,632 - If it's not painfully obvious yet, - If it's not painfully obvious yet,
24 00:01:45,656 00:01:48,557 archer is incredibly jealous of my husband. archer is incredibly jealous of my husband.
25 00:01:48,592 00:01:50,470 - Oh, yeah, I-I desperately wish - Oh, yeah, I-I desperately wish
26 00:01:50,494 00:01:52,606 I had liver spots and eyebrows like haystacks. I had liver spots and eyebrows like haystacks.
27 00:01:52,630 00:01:54,441 - You know what? - Look, why don't we just - You know what? - Look, why don't we just
28 00:01:54,465 00:01:56,276 acknowledge the elephant in the room? acknowledge the elephant in the room?
29 00:01:56,300 00:01:58,411 - That you have borderline personality disorder - That you have borderline personality disorder
30 00:01:58,435 00:02:00,335 and desperately need help? and desperately need help?
31 00:02:00,371 00:02:01,548 - I was talking, lana, - I was talking, lana,
32 00:02:01,572 00:02:04,473 about how incredibly gorgeous gabrielle looks tonight. about how incredibly gorgeous gabrielle looks tonight.
33 00:02:04,508 00:02:07,442 It's like somebody stuffed 103 pounds of "ka-kow" It's like somebody stuffed 103 pounds of "ka-kow"
34 00:02:07,478 00:02:09,311 into a red golf sock. into a red golf sock.
35 00:02:09,346 00:02:11,380 - I couldn't agree more. - I couldn't agree more.
36 00:02:11,415 00:02:13,326 You look gorgeous, gabrielle. You look gorgeous, gabrielle.
37 00:02:13,350 00:02:14,516 - Uh, honey, shut up. - Uh, honey, shut up.
38 00:02:14,552 00:02:17,386 So how did you two meet? So how did you two meet?
39 00:02:17,421 00:02:19,388 - We met in a study my university is conducting - We met in a study my university is conducting
40 00:02:19,423 00:02:21,557 for individuals who have been in a coma. for individuals who have been in a coma.
41 00:02:21,592 00:02:23,537 - Catch that, lana? - That you have brain damage? - Catch that, lana? - That you have brain damage?
42 00:02:23,561 00:02:26,628 - No, I mean the part where gabrielle is a scientist? - No, I mean the part where gabrielle is a scientist?
43 00:02:26,664 00:02:29,331 - Oh, are you in science as well? - Oh, are you in science as well?
44 00:02:29,366 00:02:31,300 - [laughs] that's funny. - [laughs] that's funny.
45 00:02:31,335 00:02:33,535 You see, lana's parents desperately wanted her You see, lana's parents desperately wanted her
46 00:02:33,571 00:02:35,482 to be a scientist, but she hated them. to be a scientist, but she hated them.
47 00:02:35,506 00:02:36,716 And now they're dead. - They're not dead. And now they're dead. - They're not dead.
48 00:02:36,740 00:02:39,341 - How would you know? You're not a scientist. - How would you know? You're not a scientist.
49 00:02:39,376 00:02:40,554 - You know, one of my foundations - You know, one of my foundations
50 00:02:40,578 00:02:42,511 is involved in neuroscience, is involved in neuroscience,
51 00:02:42,546 00:02:45,547 and we just did a study on memory-mapping neurons. and we just did a study on memory-mapping neurons.
52 00:02:45,583 00:02:47,516 - Oh, I just read about that! - Oh, I just read about that!
53 00:02:47,551 00:02:49,618 Let me ask you, did you agree with their findings Let me ask you, did you agree with their findings
54 00:02:49,653 00:02:51,653 on spatially tuned memory trace cells? on spatially tuned memory trace cells?
55 00:02:51,689 00:02:54,556 - Slow down. Who am I, andrew fielding huxley? - Slow down. Who am I, andrew fielding huxley?
56 00:02:54,592 00:02:56,658 [both laugh] [both laugh]
57 00:02:56,694 00:02:58,627 gosh, oh, that's good. gosh, oh, that's good.
58 00:02:58,662 00:03:01,597 - So have we decided on a first course? - So have we decided on a first course?
59 00:03:01,632 00:03:03,398 - I actually need a little more time. - I actually need a little more time.
60 00:03:03,434 00:03:04,674 But, lana, you're probably fine But, lana, you're probably fine
61 00:03:04,702 00:03:06,602 with the first thing you see, right? with the first thing you see, right?
62 00:03:06,637 00:03:09,338 [hits table] - I'm just... [groans] [hits table] - I'm just... [groans]
63 00:03:09,373 00:03:11,551 going to go to the ladies' room. going to go to the ladies' room.
64 00:03:11,575 00:03:12,652 Excuse me. Excuse me.
65 00:03:12,676 00:03:15,644 - Oh, I'll join you. - [sighs] great. - Oh, I'll join you. - [sighs] great.
66 00:03:15,679 00:03:18,513 - Don't take too long, or I might fall in love with robert. - Don't take too long, or I might fall in love with robert.
67 00:03:18,549 00:03:20,716 You know how fast it can happen! You know how fast it can happen!
68 00:03:20,751 00:03:23,385 Ha, I was joking, obviously, robert. Ha, I was joking, obviously, robert.
69 00:03:23,420 00:03:25,354 The eyebrows are a deal breaker. The eyebrows are a deal breaker.
70 00:03:26,023 00:03:28,590 - Oh, this is a beautiful restaurant. - Oh, this is a beautiful restaurant.
71 00:03:28,626 00:03:29,626 - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.
72 00:03:29,660 00:03:32,394 - Robert's great. You're so lucky. - Robert's great. You're so lucky.
73 00:03:32,429 00:03:34,496 - Uh-huh. - So... - Uh-huh. - So...
74 00:03:34,531 00:03:36,698 You know archer from work? You know archer from work?
75 00:03:36,734 00:03:38,567 - [laughs] what? - [laughs] what?
76 00:03:38,602 00:03:40,480 Wait a minute. You're joking, right? Wait a minute. You're joking, right?
77 00:03:40,504 00:03:42,682 Archer didn't tell you anything about us? Archer didn't tell you anything about us?
78 00:03:42,706 00:03:44,406 - Oh, just that you work together, - Oh, just that you work together,
79 00:03:44,441 00:03:45,518 that you're married to robert, that you're married to robert,
80 00:03:45,542 00:03:47,442 that your jaw makes this clicking sound that your jaw makes this clicking sound
81 00:03:47,478 00:03:48,722 when you chew like... [clicking tongue] when you chew like... [clicking tongue]
82 00:03:48,746 00:03:50,412 - mm. - mm.
83 00:03:50,447 00:03:52,714 He didn't mention that we, uh, I don't know, He didn't mention that we, uh, I don't know,
84 00:03:52,750 00:03:54,449 have a child together? have a child together?
85 00:03:54,485 00:03:56,485 - Get out of town! - Get out of town!
86 00:03:56,520 00:03:57,686 You're aj's mom? You're aj's mom?
87 00:03:57,721 00:03:59,554 - [groans] - [groans]
88 00:03:59,590 00:04:01,523 robert: So how's work, archer? robert: So how's work, archer?
89 00:04:01,558 00:04:02,669 - Hey, robert, don't take this personally, - Hey, robert, don't take this personally,
90 00:04:02,693 00:04:04,571 but there's no way I'm making small talk with you. but there's no way I'm making small talk with you.
91 00:04:04,595 00:04:07,396 Just quietly stare at a candle or something. Just quietly stare at a candle or something.
92 00:04:07,431 00:04:11,600 - Hey... That gabrielle. [wolf whistle] - Hey... That gabrielle. [wolf whistle]
93 00:04:11,635 00:04:14,403 we sure got a type. Rawr! we sure got a type. Rawr!
94 00:04:14,438 00:04:16,750 Seeing them walk off together now, I was just like, Seeing them walk off together now, I was just like,
95 00:04:16,774 00:04:20,542 "I wouldn't mind being the cream in that double espresso!" "I wouldn't mind being the cream in that double espresso!"
96 00:04:20,577 00:04:23,445 [laughs] - hmm. [laughs] - hmm.
97 00:04:23,480 00:04:27,482 - I've dabbled quite a bit in the exotic arts, as they say. - I've dabbled quite a bit in the exotic arts, as they say.
98 00:04:27,518 00:04:28,750 - Oh, god, please, no. - Oh, god, please, no.
99 00:04:28,786 00:04:30,563 - So you're telling me you're not upset - So you're telling me you're not upset
100 00:04:30,587 00:04:31,731 that archer didn't mention that your first date that archer didn't mention that your first date
101 00:04:31,755 00:04:34,456 was going to include the mother of his child? was going to include the mother of his child?
102 00:04:34,491 00:04:35,669 - After all he's been through, - After all he's been through,
103 00:04:35,693 00:04:37,592 I'm sure it just slipped his mind. I'm sure it just slipped his mind.
104 00:04:37,628 00:04:38,838 - Or he's a lunatic. - Or he's a lunatic.
105 00:04:38,862 00:04:41,563 I mean, clearly he asked you out because... I mean, clearly he asked you out because...
106 00:04:41,598 00:04:43,598 [snorts] well... - Well, what? [snorts] well... - Well, what?
107 00:04:43,634 00:04:45,745 - Oh, come on, he's trying to send a message - Oh, come on, he's trying to send a message
108 00:04:45,769 00:04:48,804 that he found a stand-in, you know, for, uh... for this. that he found a stand-in, you know, for, uh... for this.
109 00:04:48,839 00:04:52,641 - A stand-in? Oh, did you go to yale too? - A stand-in? Oh, did you go to yale too?
110 00:04:52,676 00:04:54,587 - No. I mean, I'm sure I could have. - No. I mean, I'm sure I could have.
111 00:04:54,611 00:04:56,545 - But you have two phds, I bet. - But you have two phds, I bet.
112 00:04:56,580 00:04:57,746 - Well, no, not two. - Well, no, not two.
113 00:04:57,781 00:04:59,726 No, I have... I have... I have just the one. No, I have... I have... I have just the one.
114 00:04:59,750 00:05:01,750 - Oh, I see, so you don't mean "stand-in" - Oh, I see, so you don't mean "stand-in"
115 00:05:01,785 00:05:03,752 as much as you mean "upgrade." as much as you mean "upgrade."
116 00:05:03,787 00:05:04,798 woman: [clears throat] woman: [clears throat]
117 00:05:04,822 00:05:06,555 excuse me. excuse me.
118 00:05:06,590 00:05:07,734 - There! There you go! - [gasps] what are you doing? - There! There you go! - [gasps] what are you doing?
119 00:05:07,758 00:05:08,768 - Now you're all wet. - Ugh! - Now you're all wet. - Ugh!
120 00:05:08,792 00:05:10,726 - Isn't that what you wanted? - Isn't that what you wanted?
121 00:05:10,761 00:05:14,696 - And sure enough, we made love right there in the jazz club. - And sure enough, we made love right there in the jazz club.
122 00:05:14,732 00:05:17,432 And to this day, I can't even hear And to this day, I can't even hear
123 00:05:17,468 00:05:19,768 a muted trumpet without getting erect! a muted trumpet without getting erect!
124 00:05:19,803 00:05:21,603 [mimics trumpet fanfare] [mimics trumpet fanfare]
125 00:05:21,638 00:05:22,716 - what a great story, robert. - what a great story, robert.
126 00:05:22,740 00:05:25,507 I just wish it could've been louder and grosser. I just wish it could've been louder and grosser.
127 00:05:25,542 00:05:27,854 - Kyle! Do us a favor and put our food in, would ya? - Kyle! Do us a favor and put our food in, would ya?
128 00:05:27,878 00:05:29,789 - Absolutely. What would you like? - Absolutely. What would you like?
129 00:05:29,813 00:05:31,646 - You order for us, kyle. - You order for us, kyle.
130 00:05:31,682 00:05:35,784 I'm talkin' apps, entrées... The whole nine yards. I'm talkin' apps, entrées... The whole nine yards.
131 00:05:35,819 00:05:37,719 - You're trusting kyle to pick our food? - You're trusting kyle to pick our food?
132 00:05:37,755 00:05:39,588 The entirety of his life's decisions The entirety of his life's decisions
133 00:05:39,623 00:05:41,857 have led him to this job and that haircut. have led him to this job and that haircut.
134 00:05:41,892 00:05:43,692 No offense, kyle. No offense, kyle.
135 00:05:43,727 00:05:46,795 Hey, there they are, the two prettiest ladies in the joint. Hey, there they are, the two prettiest ladies in the joint.
136 00:05:46,830 00:05:49,798 Or more specifically, a clear number one Or more specifically, a clear number one
137 00:05:49,833 00:05:52,634 and a not-as-well-read, big-boned runner-up. and a not-as-well-read, big-boned runner-up.
138 00:05:52,669 00:05:54,681 - You know what? Let me ask you a question. - You know what? Let me ask you a question.
139 00:05:54,705 00:05:56,649 - What the hell are you doing? - What the hell are you doing?
140 00:05:56,673 00:05:59,608 You're supposed to be staking out victor cherenenko. You're supposed to be staking out victor cherenenko.
141 00:05:59,643 00:06:01,743 - Will you two be joining the table? - Will you two be joining the table?
142 00:06:01,779 00:06:02,744 - No, definitely not. - We were just leaving. - No, definitely not. - We were just leaving.
143 00:06:02,780 00:06:04,524 - Sure. - Gabrielle, you could - Sure. - Gabrielle, you could
144 00:06:04,548 00:06:05,614 scooch in next to me. scooch in next to me.
145 00:06:05,649 00:06:07,649 - Ooh, who's victor cherenenko? - Ooh, who's victor cherenenko?
146 00:06:07,684 00:06:08,728 - Oh, russian hacker, - Oh, russian hacker,
147 00:06:08,752 00:06:10,897 one of interpol's most wanted, gabrielle. one of interpol's most wanted, gabrielle.
148 00:06:10,921 00:06:12,654 Huge reward out for him. Huge reward out for him.
149 00:06:12,689 00:06:14,756 And I am the one responsible... And I am the one responsible...
150 00:06:14,792 00:06:17,759 - actually, I'm in charge of the mission. - actually, I'm in charge of the mission.
151 00:06:17,795 00:06:19,595 How are you? Cyril figgis. How are you? Cyril figgis.
152 00:06:19,630 00:06:20,740 - Calm down, cyril. - Calm down, cyril.
153 00:06:20,764 00:06:23,565 You're getting desperation all over my hot scientist. You're getting desperation all over my hot scientist.
154 00:06:23,600 00:06:25,801 - I probably shouldn't be showing you this. - I probably shouldn't be showing you this.
155 00:06:25,836 00:06:28,670 You look like someone who can be trusted. You look like someone who can be trusted.
156 00:06:28,705 00:06:30,717 See, for years, no one has been able to find this guy, See, for years, no one has been able to find this guy,
157 00:06:30,741 00:06:32,886 but recently he's been popping his head up in public. but recently he's been popping his head up in public.
158 00:06:32,910 00:06:35,544 So as team leader, I took it upon myself So as team leader, I took it upon myself
159 00:06:35,579 00:06:38,580 to synthesize data from his financial records, and ta-da. to synthesize data from his financial records, and ta-da.
160 00:06:38,615 00:06:39,859 - You were able to produce that wet diaper - You were able to produce that wet diaper
161 00:06:39,883 00:06:41,750 of a worthless dossier. of a worthless dossier.
162 00:06:41,785 00:06:43,897 The thing says cherenenko is a regular at this place, The thing says cherenenko is a regular at this place,
163 00:06:43,921 00:06:44,964 and yet... and yet...
164 00:06:44,988 00:06:46,922 - hey, isn't that him? Cherenenko? - hey, isn't that him? Cherenenko?
165 00:06:46,957 00:06:49,825 Cyril: You see that, archer? I was right. Cyril: You see that, archer? I was right.
166 00:06:49,860 00:06:50,926 He's here after all. He's here after all.
167 00:06:50,961 00:06:52,806 - I mean, it doesn't take that much - I mean, it doesn't take that much
168 00:06:52,830 00:06:53,873 to look at a credit card statement to look at a credit card statement
169 00:06:53,897 00:06:56,731 and see that guy comes to a restaurant a lot and see that guy comes to a restaurant a lot
170 00:06:56,767 00:06:58,645 and that... - God damn it, archer! and that... - God damn it, archer!
171 00:06:58,669 00:07:00,602 - Wow, this is so exciting! - Wow, this is so exciting!
172 00:07:00,637 00:07:02,704 So what do we do now? Like, go detain him? So what do we do now? Like, go detain him?
173 00:07:02,739 00:07:03,917 - [laughs] oh, man. - [laughs] oh, man.
174 00:07:03,941 00:07:05,652 Guess they don't teach you everything Guess they don't teach you everything
175 00:07:05,676 00:07:06,753 in neurobiology school. in neurobiology school.
176 00:07:06,777 00:07:08,777 - Well, no, obviously not. - Well, no, obviously not.
177 00:07:08,812 00:07:11,680 - As much as I love taking advice on spycraft - As much as I love taking advice on spycraft
178 00:07:11,715 00:07:14,549 from civilians, you can't just go up and detain from civilians, you can't just go up and detain
179 00:07:14,585 00:07:16,763 a guy with an armed bodyguard protecting him. a guy with an armed bodyguard protecting him.
180 00:07:16,787 00:07:17,797 - Lana's right. - Lana's right.
181 00:07:17,821 00:07:19,666 Even if we took the bodyguard out, Even if we took the bodyguard out,
182 00:07:19,690 00:07:22,557 we'd have 50 russian goons on our doorstep we'd have 50 russian goons on our doorstep
183 00:07:22,593 00:07:23,670 looking for blood in the morning. looking for blood in the morning.
184 00:07:23,694 00:07:24,838 - Uh, yeah, that's what I'm saying. - Uh, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
185 00:07:24,862 00:07:26,761 So the plan is, we go over... So the plan is, we go over...
186 00:07:26,797 00:07:28,964 - excuse me, I'm in charge, and as such, - excuse me, I'm in charge, and as such,
187 00:07:28,999 00:07:31,933 I have constructed our apprehension strategy. I have constructed our apprehension strategy.
188 00:07:31,969 00:07:34,703 Okay, we wait for him to leave, and we tail him. Okay, we wait for him to leave, and we tail him.
189 00:07:34,738 00:07:35,815 Then we find an opportunity Then we find an opportunity
190 00:07:35,839 00:07:37,750 to separate him from his bodyguard, to separate him from his bodyguard,
191 00:07:37,774 00:07:39,919 lure him somewhere quiet, and bring him down. lure him somewhere quiet, and bring him down.
192 00:07:39,943 00:07:42,844 Voilà. A classic figgis. Voilà. A classic figgis.
193 00:07:42,880 00:07:45,680 - I thought a classic figgis was when you get - I thought a classic figgis was when you get
194 00:07:45,716 00:07:47,760 your genitals caught in the zipper of a sleeping bag. your genitals caught in the zipper of a sleeping bag.
195 00:07:47,784 00:07:49,684 - You know very well that wasn't user error. - You know very well that wasn't user error.
196 00:07:49,720 00:07:51,653 There was a factory recall! There was a factory recall!
197 00:07:51,688 00:07:52,866 I'm going to the men's room real quick. I'm going to the men's room real quick.
198 00:07:52,890 00:07:54,756 Don't do anything without me. Don't do anything without me.
199 00:07:55,959 00:08:00,562 - So, gabrielle, how do you feel about jazz? - So, gabrielle, how do you feel about jazz?
200 00:08:00,597 00:08:01,597 [urinal flushes] [urinal flushes]
201 00:08:01,632 00:08:02,876 - and how are you this evening, sir? - and how are you this evening, sir?
202 00:08:02,900 00:08:04,866 - Very well, thank you. - Very well, thank you.
203 00:08:04,902 00:08:06,735 I actually just had a, uh, I actually just had a, uh,
204 00:08:06,770 00:08:07,914 pretty big professional victory. pretty big professional victory.
205 00:08:07,938 00:08:09,716 [faucet running] - that is wonderful, sir. [faucet running] - that is wonderful, sir.
206 00:08:09,740 00:08:10,984 - Thanks. You know that feeling when you take - Thanks. You know that feeling when you take
207 00:08:11,008 00:08:13,775 a big step forward at work and people notice? a big step forward at work and people notice?
208 00:08:13,810 00:08:16,678 - Yes, sir. Very magical, sir. - Yes, sir. Very magical, sir.
209 00:08:16,713 00:08:19,614 - Oh, uh, I left my wallet in my jacket, - Oh, uh, I left my wallet in my jacket,
210 00:08:19,650 00:08:20,715 and I'll just... and I'll just...
211 00:08:20,751 00:08:22,911 [urinal flushes] good call. I'm on a diet. [urinal flushes] good call. I'm on a diet.
212 00:08:26,023 00:08:27,989 May I offer you a towel? May I offer you a towel?
213 00:08:28,025 00:08:29,658 - Hey, excuse me, sir... - Hey, excuse me, sir...
214 00:08:29,693 00:08:31,760 [blow lands] - [grunts] [blow lands] - [grunts]
215 00:08:31,795 00:08:33,662 - [grunts] [blow lands] - [grunts] [blow lands]
216 00:08:33,697 00:08:35,931 [dramatic music] [dramatic music]
217 00:08:35,966 00:08:38,667 - [groans] - [groans]
218 00:08:40,037 00:08:42,771 - [moaning] - [moaning]
219 00:08:42,806 00:08:45,840 - ooh, he's really giving it to her. - ooh, he's really giving it to her.
220 00:08:45,876 00:08:47,854 - [gasps] malory: They're leaving. - [gasps] malory: They're leaving.
221 00:08:47,878 00:08:49,956 Lana: Perfect, when they get outside, we follow them. Lana: Perfect, when they get outside, we follow them.
222 00:08:49,980 00:08:52,047 - Gabrielle, I'm sorry to tell you, - Gabrielle, I'm sorry to tell you,
223 00:08:52,082 00:08:54,649 but you're about to dive headfirst but you're about to dive headfirst
224 00:08:54,685 00:08:57,018 into a high-speed chase, so buckle up. into a high-speed chase, so buckle up.
225 00:08:57,054 00:08:58,865 - Shouldn't we just leave her here? - Shouldn't we just leave her here?
226 00:08:58,889 00:09:00,833 - No, lana, I'm sorry you're threatened - No, lana, I'm sorry you're threatened
227 00:09:00,857 00:09:03,792 because gabrielle is so smart and accomplished and... because gabrielle is so smart and accomplished and...
228 00:09:03,827 00:09:06,695 - Hot. - Thank you, horny new guy. - Hot. - Thank you, horny new guy.
229 00:09:06,730 00:09:08,875 We are not ditching her. Here, put this on, gabrielle. We are not ditching her. Here, put this on, gabrielle.
230 00:09:08,899 00:09:10,777 I wouldn't want you to catch cold. I wouldn't want you to catch cold.
231 00:09:10,801 00:09:12,934 You should, uh, put this on to, um, You should, uh, put this on to, um,
232 00:09:12,970 00:09:16,004 cover up your hideous... cover up your hideous...
233 00:09:16,039 00:09:17,772 Elbows. Elbows.
234 00:09:17,808 00:09:19,786 - Ya had trouble finding something, didn't ya? - Ya had trouble finding something, didn't ya?
235 00:09:19,810 00:09:21,943 - Shut up, lana! - Shut up, lana!
236 00:09:21,979 00:09:25,780 [lively jazz music] [lively jazz music]
237 00:09:25,816 00:09:27,716 hold on. hold on.
238 00:09:29,052 00:09:31,064 All right, go! Everybody into my car. All right, go! Everybody into my car.
239 00:09:31,088 00:09:32,721 Cyril: Good news. Cyril: Good news.
240 00:09:32,756 00:09:34,055 The bodyguard is now locked The bodyguard is now locked
241 00:09:34,091 00:09:36,925 in a bathroom supply... Closet. in a bathroom supply... Closet.
242 00:09:36,960 00:09:38,760 [sighs] [sighs]
243 00:09:38,795 00:09:39,961 it's my mission. it's my mission.
244 00:09:39,997 00:09:42,731 - Okay, so here we have the first courses, - Okay, so here we have the first courses,
245 00:09:42,766 00:09:44,010 fried lobster in puff pastry fried lobster in puff pastry
246 00:09:44,034 00:09:46,001 over four-cheese grits. over four-cheese grits.
247 00:09:46,036 00:09:49,838 - [crying] - [crying]
248 00:09:49,873 00:09:50,984 [engine revving] - all right, gabrielle, [engine revving] - all right, gabrielle,
249 00:09:51,008 00:09:52,986 get ready for the ride of your... get ready for the ride of your...
250 00:09:53,010 00:09:54,976 [tires squealing] [tires squealing]
251 00:09:55,012 00:09:56,745 [tires screeching] [tires screeching]
252 00:09:56,780 00:09:57,957 life. [horns honking] life. [horns honking]
253 00:09:57,981 00:09:59,848 - uh, what did he just say? - uh, what did he just say?
254 00:09:59,883 00:10:01,060 - Life, robert! He said life! - Life, robert! He said life!
255 00:10:01,084 00:10:02,929 He was finishing a thought from before! He was finishing a thought from before!
256 00:10:02,953 00:10:05,053 - [laughs] - archer! - [laughs] - archer!
257 00:10:05,088 00:10:06,165 - I'm sorry. - I'm sorry.
258 00:10:06,189 00:10:08,067 He did a "what did he just say?" He did a "what did he just say?"
259 00:10:08,091 00:10:10,759 he's doing all the top ten old-guy hits, he's doing all the top ten old-guy hits,
260 00:10:10,794 00:10:12,074 coast-to-coast! coast-to-coast!
261 00:10:14,214 00:10:15,647 [jazzy music] [jazzy music]
262 00:10:15,749 00:10:16,859 malory: This is what happens malory: This is what happens
263 00:10:16,883 00:10:19,684 when you give bicyclists their own lane. when you give bicyclists their own lane.
264 00:10:19,786 00:10:22,454 What's next, a lane for vegetarians? What's next, a lane for vegetarians?
265 00:10:22,556 00:10:23,633 - Sorry, gabrielle. - Sorry, gabrielle.
266 00:10:23,657 00:10:24,867 It's usually a little chasier than this. It's usually a little chasier than this.
267 00:10:24,891 00:10:26,625 - Oh, no, don't apologize. - Oh, no, don't apologize.
268 00:10:26,727 00:10:28,647 This is a great opportunity for me to get to know This is a great opportunity for me to get to know
269 00:10:28,729 00:10:29,906 your friends just a little bit better. your friends just a little bit better.
270 00:10:29,930 00:10:32,664 - All right, I'll start. Uh, this one's for anybody. - All right, I'll start. Uh, this one's for anybody.
271 00:10:32,699 00:10:35,533 Who's ever met a potential love interest Who's ever met a potential love interest
272 00:10:35,569 00:10:38,870 over the unconscious body of their child's father? over the unconscious body of their child's father?
273 00:10:38,905 00:10:41,806 - Oh, my god. This again? - This again, what? - Oh, my god. This again? - This again, what?
274 00:10:41,842 00:10:43,808 - Well, you got shot by a murder suspect - Well, you got shot by a murder suspect
275 00:10:43,844 00:10:45,577 you were supposed to be investigating you were supposed to be investigating
276 00:10:45,612 00:10:48,580 but instead were having sex with who, by the way, but instead were having sex with who, by the way,
277 00:10:48,615 00:10:50,782 after shooting you, got away! after shooting you, got away!
278 00:10:51,885 00:10:55,553 - Hey, look what we got going on back here. - Hey, look what we got going on back here.
279 00:10:55,589 00:10:57,722 I feel like the cream inside of an ore... I feel like the cream inside of an ore...
280 00:10:57,758 00:11:00,625 - do not finish that sentence. - do not finish that sentence.
281 00:11:02,729 00:11:03,906 - Hey, kyle. - Hey, kyle.
282 00:11:03,930 00:11:06,598 Would you mind parking the dessert cart over here? Would you mind parking the dessert cart over here?
283 00:11:06,633 00:11:08,578 And you might want to throw the emergency brake on, And you might want to throw the emergency brake on,
284 00:11:08,602 00:11:11,636 because I have a feeling things could go sideways pretty fast. because I have a feeling things could go sideways pretty fast.
285 00:11:11,672 00:11:14,606 - Actually, sir, some diners have been complaining - Actually, sir, some diners have been complaining
286 00:11:14,641 00:11:16,741 that your constant crying and chewing that your constant crying and chewing
287 00:11:16,777 00:11:17,876 is bumming them out. is bumming them out.
288 00:11:17,911 00:11:19,644 [whispering] if you wouldn't mind... [whispering] if you wouldn't mind...
289 00:11:19,680 00:11:22,614 - Oh, they didn't leave a credit card? - Oh, they didn't leave a credit card?
290 00:11:22,649 00:11:23,815 Jeezy petes! Jeezy petes!
291 00:11:23,850 00:11:27,619 I had a serving of bone marrow, not a goddamn transplant. I had a serving of bone marrow, not a goddamn transplant.
292 00:11:27,654 00:11:29,688 [sighs] all right, I... [sighs] all right, I...
293 00:11:29,723 00:11:31,589 Hey! My jacket's gone! Hey! My jacket's gone!
294 00:11:31,625 00:11:33,858 Listen, kyle, my wallet was in my jacket, Listen, kyle, my wallet was in my jacket,
295 00:11:33,894 00:11:35,872 and it appears my friends must've grabbed it. and it appears my friends must've grabbed it.
296 00:11:35,896 00:11:37,640 So I'm gonna have to... [footsteps approaching] So I'm gonna have to... [footsteps approaching]
297 00:11:37,664 00:11:38,941 to have someone come down to have someone come down
298 00:11:38,965 00:11:40,977 and meet me here with a credit card. and meet me here with a credit card.
299 00:11:41,001 00:11:42,734 - There you go. - There you go.
300 00:11:46,873 00:11:50,675 - Don't spray that urine on my son's window. - Don't spray that urine on my son's window.
301 00:11:50,711 00:11:53,611 If you want a dollar for doing nothing, walk to canada. If you want a dollar for doing nothing, walk to canada.
302 00:11:53,647 00:11:55,892 - What are you even doing on this mission to begin with? - What are you even doing on this mission to begin with?
303 00:11:55,916 00:11:57,649 - Cyril needed me. - Cyril needed me.
304 00:11:57,684 00:11:59,617 It would've looked weird for him to be sitting It would've looked weird for him to be sitting
305 00:11:59,653 00:12:00,919 at that restaurant all alone. at that restaurant all alone.
306 00:12:00,954 00:12:02,721 - Who were you supposed to be? - Who were you supposed to be?
307 00:12:02,756 00:12:04,589 - His date, obviously. - His date, obviously.
308 00:12:04,624 00:12:05,824 [laughter] [laughter]
309 00:12:05,859 00:12:08,660 - excuse me, it's not that crazy at all - excuse me, it's not that crazy at all
310 00:12:08,695 00:12:09,872 that these two would be together. that these two would be together.
311 00:12:09,896 00:12:12,831 Not much further apart in age than lana and I are. Not much further apart in age than lana and I are.
312 00:12:12,866 00:12:14,877 - Self-burn. - Plus, she's beautiful - Self-burn. - Plus, she's beautiful
313 00:12:14,901 00:12:16,601 and successful. and successful.
314 00:12:16,636 00:12:18,648 You know who you remind me of, malory? You know who you remind me of, malory?
315 00:12:18,672 00:12:19,738 My ex-wife. My ex-wife.
316 00:12:19,773 00:12:22,640 - Malory reminds you of linda? The supermodel? - Malory reminds you of linda? The supermodel?
317 00:12:22,676 00:12:23,842 - No, no, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no, no.
318 00:12:23,877 00:12:26,644 I'm talking about zelda, my first ex-wife. I'm talking about zelda, my first ex-wife.
319 00:12:26,680 00:12:28,947 Linda was my third ex-wife. - Your what? Linda was my third ex-wife. - Your what?
320 00:12:28,982 00:12:30,849 - Oh, bobby, bobby, bobby. - Oh, bobby, bobby, bobby.
321 00:12:30,884 00:12:33,852 I think the phrase you're looking for is "gulp." I think the phrase you're looking for is "gulp."
322 00:12:33,887 00:12:36,788 [laughter] [laughter]
323 00:12:37,891 00:12:40,002 - what's wrong with your face, krieger? - what's wrong with your face, krieger?
324 00:12:40,026 00:12:43,027 - Yeah. Did you rack your nuts on your proton pack? - Yeah. Did you rack your nuts on your proton pack?
325 00:12:43,063 00:12:44,796 - [laughs] - [laughs]
326 00:12:44,831 00:12:47,966 - oh, mitsuko and I got into an argument. - oh, mitsuko and I got into an argument.
327 00:12:48,001 00:12:50,869 She said she thinks maybe her feelings are changing about us. She said she thinks maybe her feelings are changing about us.
328 00:12:50,904 00:12:52,615 - Let me tell you something everyone hears - Let me tell you something everyone hears
329 00:12:52,639 00:12:53,850 at some point in their lives: at some point in their lives:
330 00:12:53,874 00:12:55,918 That anime hologram's just not that into you. That anime hologram's just not that into you.
331 00:12:55,942 00:12:58,610 - No! It's probably just a phase, right? - No! It's probably just a phase, right?
332 00:12:58,645 00:13:00,678 [phone rings] - yello? [phone rings] - yello?
333 00:13:00,714 00:13:02,847 - Pam! Listen! [chuckles awkwardly] - Pam! Listen! [chuckles awkwardly]
334 00:13:02,883 00:13:04,749 I need you to come to l'orange. I need you to come to l'orange.
335 00:13:04,785 00:13:06,729 Archer stuck me with a huge tab, Archer stuck me with a huge tab,
336 00:13:06,753 00:13:08,931 then left with my coat which had my wallet in it, then left with my coat which had my wallet in it,
337 00:13:08,955 00:13:11,723 and there's a menacing busboy who won't stop staring at me. and there's a menacing busboy who won't stop staring at me.
338 00:13:11,758 00:13:13,736 Pam: And you want me to come over there Pam: And you want me to come over there
339 00:13:13,760 00:13:15,972 and blow a busboy so he'll forget about your dinner tab. and blow a busboy so he'll forget about your dinner tab.
340 00:13:15,996 00:13:18,930 - What? No, come with money to pay the tab. - What? No, come with money to pay the tab.
341 00:13:18,965 00:13:20,965 Pam: Oh. Lame. Pam: Oh. Lame.
342 00:13:21,001 00:13:22,812 - Okay, let me get this straight. - Okay, let me get this straight.
343 00:13:22,836 00:13:25,904 You've been married four times and it never occurred to you You've been married four times and it never occurred to you
344 00:13:25,939 00:13:28,673 to share that information with your wife? to share that information with your wife?
345 00:13:28,708 00:13:29,908 - It's personal, dear. - It's personal, dear.
346 00:13:29,943 00:13:32,710 I didn't ask you how many times you'd been married. I didn't ask you how many times you'd been married.
347 00:13:32,746 00:13:34,924 - Zero! I'd been married zero times! - Zero! I'd been married zero times!
348 00:13:34,948 00:13:36,815 - Well, now I see why. - Well, now I see why.
349 00:13:36,850 00:13:38,917 - [laughs] - [laughs]
350 00:13:38,952 00:13:39,996 - who were they? - who were they?
351 00:13:40,020 00:13:41,786 - Linda, of course. - Linda, of course.
352 00:13:41,822 00:13:44,055 Then hafsa, she was a gift from the saudi crown. Then hafsa, she was a gift from the saudi crown.
353 00:13:44,090 00:13:46,991 Would've been rude to say no. And then zelda. Would've been rude to say no. And then zelda.
354 00:13:47,027 00:13:50,895 We didn't technically divorce. I lost her on safari. We didn't technically divorce. I lost her on safari.
355 00:13:50,931 00:13:52,975 - Oh, my god, this guy's on fire. - Oh, my god, this guy's on fire.
356 00:13:52,999 00:13:55,800 - I'm not sure if it's a big deal, but... - I'm not sure if it's a big deal, but...
357 00:13:55,836 00:13:57,814 That guy you're following, he just got out of that cab. That guy you're following, he just got out of that cab.
358 00:13:57,838 00:13:59,871 - Damn it, he's getting away! Follow him! - Damn it, he's getting away! Follow him!
359 00:13:59,906 00:14:00,872 - I can't, mother! - I can't, mother!
360 00:14:00,907 00:14:02,018 What do you want me to do, What do you want me to do,
361 00:14:02,042 00:14:04,909 just leave the car here in the middle of 5th ave? just leave the car here in the middle of 5th ave?
362 00:14:04,945 00:14:06,978 - Oh, yes, big smiles. - Oh, yes, big smiles.
363 00:14:07,013 00:14:09,881 I, too, would be excited if I were about to overdose I, too, would be excited if I were about to overdose
364 00:14:09,916 00:14:12,817 somewhere in a hollowed-out box spring. somewhere in a hollowed-out box spring.
365 00:14:12,853 00:14:14,096 - You know, I've always thought - You know, I've always thought
366 00:14:14,120 00:14:17,055 that busboys were the backbone of the restaurant industry. that busboys were the backbone of the restaurant industry.
367 00:14:17,090 00:14:22,093 - I'm a woman. - And a beautiful one at that. - I'm a woman. - And a beautiful one at that.
368 00:14:22,128 00:14:25,830 There you are! - Oh, you look like shit, dude. There you are! - Oh, you look like shit, dude.
369 00:14:25,866 00:14:26,876 Have you been crying? Have you been crying?
370 00:14:26,900 00:14:29,000 - Crying? [laughs] no. - Crying? [laughs] no.
371 00:14:29,035 00:14:30,146 All: Yes! - [cries] All: Yes! - [cries]
372 00:14:30,170 00:14:32,871 - okay, oh, cyril. - okay, oh, cyril.
373 00:14:32,906 00:14:34,806 Come on, let's get out of here. Come on, let's get out of here.
374 00:14:34,841 00:14:35,985 - [clears throat] cyril: Oh, uh, - [clears throat] cyril: Oh, uh,
375 00:14:36,009 00:14:37,049 right, the tab, uh... right, the tab, uh...
376 00:14:37,077 00:14:39,055 - cyril, don't worry about the tab. - cyril, don't worry about the tab.
377 00:14:39,079 00:14:40,845 I got this. I got this.
378 00:14:40,881 00:14:43,781 [shouting] this waiter just touched my breasts! [shouting] this waiter just touched my breasts!
379 00:14:43,817 00:14:44,883 [people gasp] [people gasp]
380 00:14:44,918 00:14:46,784 - what? - what?
381 00:14:46,820 00:14:48,130 - Again, I just can't put into words - Again, I just can't put into words
382 00:14:48,154 00:14:49,154 how mortified I am. how mortified I am.
383 00:14:49,189 00:14:50,900 - Well, you should be mortified. - Well, you should be mortified.
384 00:14:50,924 00:14:52,802 I know my breasts certainly are. I know my breasts certainly are.
385 00:14:52,826 00:14:53,925 Right, ladies? Right, ladies?
386 00:14:53,960 00:14:55,059 - Hey, hot shot, - Hey, hot shot,
387 00:14:55,095 00:14:58,763 call me if you ever want to have your world rocked. call me if you ever want to have your world rocked.
388 00:14:58,798 00:15:01,933 Lana: You voted libertarian? Robert: Sure, twice. Lana: You voted libertarian? Robert: Sure, twice.
389 00:15:01,968 00:15:04,802 Hey, I know seat belts save lives, Hey, I know seat belts save lives,
390 00:15:04,838 00:15:07,839 but who is the government to require me to wear one? but who is the government to require me to wear one?
391 00:15:07,874 00:15:09,051 - Is there anything else you haven't told me? - Is there anything else you haven't told me?
392 00:15:09,075 00:15:10,820 - No. - In my experience, - No. - In my experience,
393 00:15:10,844 00:15:13,155 you have to ask exploratory questions, like... you have to ask exploratory questions, like...
394 00:15:13,179 00:15:15,157 Robert, have you ever done anything Robert, have you ever done anything
395 00:15:15,181 00:15:17,782 that you're deeply sad about? that you're deeply sad about?
396 00:15:17,817 00:15:21,853 - I mean, I guess if I had to pick one thing... - I mean, I guess if I had to pick one thing...
397 00:15:21,888 00:15:24,122 Oh, gosh, it'd be the dogs. Oh, gosh, it'd be the dogs.
398 00:15:24,157 00:15:25,123 - The dogs? - The dogs?
399 00:15:25,158 00:15:28,793 - I've had 11 dogs die on me. - I've had 11 dogs die on me.
400 00:15:28,828 00:15:30,962 - 11? How is that possible? - 11? How is that possible?
401 00:15:30,997 00:15:34,198 - Well, you know, there's just a huge language barrier. - Well, you know, there's just a huge language barrier.
402 00:15:34,234 00:15:37,068 - [shouting] oh, my god, what the hell is wrong with you? - [shouting] oh, my god, what the hell is wrong with you?
403 00:15:37,103 00:15:38,881 - [southern accent] what beautiful architecture - [southern accent] what beautiful architecture
404 00:15:38,905 00:15:41,806 they have here in new york city, new york, they have here in new york city, new york,
405 00:15:41,841 00:15:44,809 where we are visiting as tourists. where we are visiting as tourists.
406 00:15:47,847 00:15:49,191 [whispering] jesus christ, lana, will you quit fighting [whispering] jesus christ, lana, will you quit fighting
407 00:15:49,215 00:15:51,093 with your husband before you give us away? with your husband before you give us away?
408 00:15:51,117 00:15:52,929 - [angry whisper] we wouldn't be in a fight if you hadn't - [angry whisper] we wouldn't be in a fight if you hadn't
409 00:15:52,953 00:15:54,830 set up this stupid double date in the first place. set up this stupid double date in the first place.
410 00:15:54,854 00:15:55,954 [loudly] boy howdy. [loudly] boy howdy.
411 00:15:55,989 00:15:57,133 I sure hope someday we get these kind I sure hope someday we get these kind
412 00:15:57,157 00:16:00,858 of tall buildings back at home in... Arizona. of tall buildings back at home in... Arizona.
413 00:16:00,894 00:16:02,838 - Shit, he's heading to the park. - Shit, he's heading to the park.
414 00:16:02,862 00:16:05,830 [soft dramatic music] [soft dramatic music]
415 00:16:05,865 00:16:08,166 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
416 00:16:08,201 00:16:09,979 follow that horse! And step on it! follow that horse! And step on it!
417 00:16:10,003 00:16:12,048 [driver clicks tongue, horse whinnies] [driver clicks tongue, horse whinnies]
418 00:16:12,072 00:16:13,972 - you there, follow that cab! - you there, follow that cab!
419 00:16:14,007 00:16:17,008 - On a break. - Let me try. - On a break. - Let me try.
420 00:16:17,043 00:16:20,912 Well, I can see why they call it a hansom cab. Well, I can see why they call it a hansom cab.
421 00:16:20,947 00:16:23,114 You sure are the best-looking son of a gun You sure are the best-looking son of a gun
422 00:16:23,149 00:16:24,916 I've seen all night. I've seen all night.
423 00:16:24,951 00:16:26,195 - Oh, is that a fact? - Oh, is that a fact?
424 00:16:26,219 00:16:28,953 - Oh, I was talking to the horse. - Oh, I was talking to the horse.
425 00:16:28,989 00:16:30,955 I figured he ran the business. I figured he ran the business.
426 00:16:30,991 00:16:32,924 [both laugh] [both laugh]
427 00:16:32,959 00:16:34,859 - gosh, oh, that's good. - gosh, oh, that's good.
428 00:16:36,663 00:16:38,930 [dramatic music] [dramatic music]
429 00:16:39,032 00:16:40,898 - hmm, they seem to be in love. - hmm, they seem to be in love.
430 00:16:41,000 00:16:43,045 Wonder whose still-breathing body they met over. Wonder whose still-breathing body they met over.
431 00:16:43,069 00:16:45,147 - Oh, my god, you are absolutely cracked in the head. - Oh, my god, you are absolutely cracked in the head.
432 00:16:45,171 00:16:48,039 We weren't even together when you went into a coma, okay? We weren't even together when you went into a coma, okay?
433 00:16:48,074 00:16:50,019 You were banging some old broad who then, You were banging some old broad who then,
434 00:16:50,043 00:16:52,076 god bless her soul, shot you. god bless her soul, shot you.
435 00:16:52,112 00:16:54,912 - Better to be shot than stabbed in the back, lana. - Better to be shot than stabbed in the back, lana.
436 00:16:54,948 00:16:57,048 - I'm surprised this isn't something you've mentioned - I'm surprised this isn't something you've mentioned
437 00:16:57,083 00:17:00,051 about your time in a coma if it bothers you so much. about your time in a coma if it bothers you so much.
438 00:17:00,086 00:17:01,786 - Oh, it doesn't. - Oh, it doesn't.
439 00:17:01,821 00:17:03,099 - Why do you even care that I'm with robert? - Why do you even care that I'm with robert?
440 00:17:03,123 00:17:04,934 - I don't! - It was clear that you - I don't! - It was clear that you
441 00:17:04,958 00:17:06,068 were never going to commit to me. were never going to commit to me.
442 00:17:06,092 00:17:07,058 - You don't know that! - You don't know that!
443 00:17:07,093 00:17:09,827 - So if lana hadn't met robert... - So if lana hadn't met robert...
444 00:17:09,863 00:17:11,841 - Over my still very much alive body - Over my still very much alive body
445 00:17:11,865 00:17:13,008 with a functioning sex organ, with a functioning sex organ,
446 00:17:13,032 00:17:15,010 as I imagine was included in my records. as I imagine was included in my records.
447 00:17:15,034 00:17:18,069 - Then you would've wanted to be together? - Then you would've wanted to be together?
448 00:17:18,104 00:17:19,137 - Excuse me! - Excuse me!
449 00:17:19,172 00:17:20,772 Whose ass do I have to kiss Whose ass do I have to kiss
450 00:17:20,807 00:17:21,917 to get more hot cocoa back here? to get more hot cocoa back here?
451 00:17:21,941 00:17:23,040 [horse whinnies] [horse whinnies]
452 00:17:23,076 00:17:24,842 - coney island? - coney island?
453 00:17:24,878 00:17:26,922 Look, I appreciate you guys bringing me here Look, I appreciate you guys bringing me here
454 00:17:26,946 00:17:28,991 to cheer me up, but I'm a grown man. to cheer me up, but I'm a grown man.
455 00:17:29,015 00:17:30,815 - Oh, cheer you up? - Oh, cheer you up?
456 00:17:30,850 00:17:33,050 A waiter just touched my breasts, asshole. A waiter just touched my breasts, asshole.
457 00:17:33,086 00:17:34,897 - If you're in need of some cheering up, - If you're in need of some cheering up,
458 00:17:34,921 00:17:37,066 this is the place. Come on. this is the place. Come on.
459 00:17:37,090 00:17:40,091 Whoa, look! Wacky mirrors! Whoa, look! Wacky mirrors!
460 00:17:40,126 00:17:43,094 [carnival music playing] [carnival music playing]
461 00:17:43,129 00:17:44,996 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
462 00:17:45,031 00:17:46,031 malory: Driver! malory: Driver!
463 00:17:46,065 00:17:47,865 Now we're going too fast! Now we're going too fast!
464 00:17:47,901 00:17:49,901 We're trying to follow that horse in front of us, We're trying to follow that horse in front of us,
465 00:17:49,936 00:17:51,035 not inseminate it. not inseminate it.
466 00:17:51,070 00:17:53,149 - I remember when the park was a place you'd come - I remember when the park was a place you'd come
467 00:17:53,173 00:17:55,807 to get away from the hustle and bustle. to get away from the hustle and bustle.
468 00:17:55,842 00:17:58,843 - Me too. I had an aunt who'd take me here. - Me too. I had an aunt who'd take me here.
469 00:17:58,878 00:18:00,823 We'd sit on a park bench for hours, We'd sit on a park bench for hours,
470 00:18:00,847 00:18:03,915 just chatting and throwing lit matches at the pigeons. just chatting and throwing lit matches at the pigeons.
471 00:18:03,950 00:18:05,995 - My friends and I would feed the pigeons alka-seltzer, - My friends and I would feed the pigeons alka-seltzer,
472 00:18:06,019 00:18:07,885 watch them explode! watch them explode!
473 00:18:07,921 00:18:09,086 [both laugh] [both laugh]
474 00:18:09,122 00:18:10,988 yeah! yeah!
475 00:18:11,024 00:18:12,957 Both: Slow the hell down! Both: Slow the hell down!
476 00:18:12,992 00:18:15,860 - Come on, buddy, what's got you so down? - Come on, buddy, what's got you so down?
477 00:18:15,895 00:18:19,030 You can talk to ol' pam. - It's... Archer. You can talk to ol' pam. - It's... Archer.
478 00:18:19,065 00:18:20,865 - And what about him? - And what about him?
479 00:18:20,900 00:18:22,834 - I hate him! - I hate him!
480 00:18:22,869 00:18:25,036 I hate his stupid face! I hate his stupid face!
481 00:18:25,071 00:18:26,971 And his stupid car! And his stupid car!
482 00:18:27,006 00:18:28,840 And his stupid coma cane! And his stupid coma cane!
483 00:18:28,875 00:18:29,919 And his stupid... [machine buzzing] And his stupid... [machine buzzing]
484 00:18:29,943 00:18:32,143 doesn't give me the respect I deserve! doesn't give me the respect I deserve!
485 00:18:32,178 00:18:34,223 How hard is it for you to acknowledge How hard is it for you to acknowledge
486 00:18:34,247 00:18:37,181 the good shape I've gotten in? Ah! the good shape I've gotten in? Ah!
487 00:18:37,217 00:18:40,852 How much I've improved as a field agent? Ah! How much I've improved as a field agent? Ah!
488 00:18:40,887 00:18:43,955 I learned mandarin, for christ's sake! I learned mandarin, for christ's sake!
489 00:18:43,990 00:18:46,101 I hate you, sterling archer! I hate you, sterling archer!
490 00:18:46,125 00:18:48,037 I hate you and everything you've done I hate you and everything you've done
491 00:18:48,061 00:18:50,061 to make me feel this... agh! to make me feel this... agh!
492 00:18:52,098 00:18:54,131 - Cyril, I see the job you're doing. - Cyril, I see the job you're doing.
493 00:18:54,167 00:18:57,034 You've been knocking it out of the park as a field agent. You've been knocking it out of the park as a field agent.
494 00:18:57,070 00:18:59,003 - Really? - Really. - Really? - Really.
495 00:18:59,038 00:19:00,838 When I thought archer was dead, When I thought archer was dead,
496 00:19:00,874 00:19:04,041 I literally said, "well, at least we still got cyril." I literally said, "well, at least we still got cyril."
497 00:19:04,077 00:19:05,087 - you did? - you did?
498 00:19:05,111 00:19:06,111 - Sure. - Sure.
499 00:19:06,145 00:19:07,945 I need the agency to stay afloat. I need the agency to stay afloat.
500 00:19:07,981 00:19:09,146 I can't get another job. I can't get another job.
501 00:19:09,182 00:19:12,149 I have, like, a shit-ton of felonies. I have, like, a shit-ton of felonies.
502 00:19:12,185 00:19:14,029 - [chuckles, sniffles] thanks, pam. - [chuckles, sniffles] thanks, pam.
503 00:19:14,053 00:19:15,887 [machine buzzes] [yelps] [machine buzzes] [yelps]
504 00:19:18,191 00:19:20,925 gabrielle: Then why did you set this double date up, archer? gabrielle: Then why did you set this double date up, archer?
505 00:19:20,960 00:19:22,104 - Seriously, out of all the women - Seriously, out of all the women
506 00:19:22,128 00:19:23,172 you could've asked out... you could've asked out...
507 00:19:23,196 00:19:25,107 - Of which there are literally billions. - Of which there are literally billions.
508 00:19:25,131 00:19:27,098 - Proving her point. - Damn it. - Proving her point. - Damn it.
509 00:19:27,133 00:19:30,902 - You chose one that kinda, well, is my doppelganger? - You chose one that kinda, well, is my doppelganger?
510 00:19:30,937 00:19:32,904 - Yeah, why is that, archer? - Yeah, why is that, archer?
511 00:19:32,939 00:19:34,016 - Um, if you two are through playing - Um, if you two are through playing
512 00:19:34,040 00:19:36,107 amateur neuropsychobiologist, amateur neuropsychobiologist,
513 00:19:36,142 00:19:39,010 our russian is headed for the subway. our russian is headed for the subway.
514 00:19:39,045 00:19:42,914 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
515 00:19:42,949 00:19:44,293 - archer, I'll come at them from around the back. - archer, I'll come at them from around the back.
516 00:19:44,317 00:19:46,128 You approach them from the left flank. You approach them from the left flank.
517 00:19:46,152 00:19:47,196 - I almost hate to do it. - I almost hate to do it.
518 00:19:47,220 00:19:49,921 Those two look really happy together. Those two look really happy together.
519 00:19:49,956 00:19:52,167 - Yeah. It's nice to be in love with someone. - Yeah. It's nice to be in love with someone.
520 00:19:52,191 00:19:54,091 You should try it. You should try it.
521 00:19:54,127 00:19:56,127 - Well, if it means being as happy - Well, if it means being as happy
522 00:19:56,162 00:19:59,964 as that russian hacker and his girlfriend, I actually... as that russian hacker and his girlfriend, I actually...
523 00:19:59,999 00:20:01,176 All: Oh! - God damn it. All: Oh! - God damn it.
524 00:20:01,200 00:20:03,200 - Oh-ho-ho-no! - Oh-ho-ho-no!
525 00:20:04,971 00:20:08,172 - Ew. Should we call the police? - Ew. Should we call the police?
526 00:20:08,207 00:20:09,240 Both: Meh. Both: Meh.
527 00:20:13,012 00:20:15,224 - So, gabrielle, this is usually the part of the date - So, gabrielle, this is usually the part of the date
528 00:20:15,248 00:20:17,326 when we head back to my place for great sex. when we head back to my place for great sex.
529 00:20:17,350 00:20:21,218 - Archer, look, you seem like a really nice guy... - Archer, look, you seem like a really nice guy...
530 00:20:21,254 00:20:23,020 - Ha! - Shut up, lana. - Ha! - Shut up, lana.
531 00:20:23,056 00:20:24,233 You were saying? Nice guy. You were saying? Nice guy.
532 00:20:24,257 00:20:26,324 Fully functioning sex organ. Go on. Fully functioning sex organ. Go on.
533 00:20:26,359 00:20:29,126 - But it's clear you still have feelings for lana. - But it's clear you still have feelings for lana.
534 00:20:29,162 00:20:31,329 - [laughs] wait, me? For her? - [laughs] wait, me? For her?
535 00:20:31,364 00:20:34,999 Wh-why would I want lana when I could have you? Wh-why would I want lana when I could have you?
536 00:20:35,034 00:20:38,269 A totally different noncomparable unique person A totally different noncomparable unique person
537 00:20:38,304 00:20:42,306 who... Shouldn't be exploited for personal vendettas, sorry. who... Shouldn't be exploited for personal vendettas, sorry.
538 00:20:42,342 00:20:45,409 - Yeah, that part. It was nice to meet ya, lana. - Yeah, that part. It was nice to meet ya, lana.
539 00:20:45,445 00:20:48,112 Uh, maybe we could get together sometime. Uh, maybe we could get together sometime.
540 00:20:48,147 00:20:49,992 - You know what? I actually would not mind - You know what? I actually would not mind
541 00:20:50,016 00:20:51,160 hanging out with you again. hanging out with you again.
542 00:20:51,184 00:20:52,261 Archer: Hey, wait, gabrielle. Archer: Hey, wait, gabrielle.
543 00:20:52,285 00:20:54,151 But... Sex time. But... Sex time.
544 00:20:54,187 00:20:55,286 Gabrielle! Gabrielle!
545 00:20:57,156 00:20:59,234 - Aw, you liked her, didn't you? - Aw, you liked her, didn't you?
546 00:20:59,258 00:21:00,224 - I don't know. - I don't know.
547 00:21:00,259 00:21:01,225 - But you didn't realize it - But you didn't realize it
548 00:21:01,260 00:21:02,371 till just now, huh? till just now, huh?
549 00:21:02,395 00:21:03,995 - [grunts] maybe. - [grunts] maybe.
550 00:21:04,030 00:21:05,240 - I mean, I thought she was great. - I mean, I thought she was great.
551 00:21:05,264 00:21:08,366 - Whatever. - I mean, smart, charming. - Whatever. - I mean, smart, charming.
552 00:21:08,401 00:21:10,279 And those cans, am I right? And those cans, am I right?
553 00:21:10,303 00:21:13,004 - Yeah, they looked pretty squeezy. - Yeah, they looked pretty squeezy.
554 00:21:13,039 00:21:14,316 - Thinking maybe instead of asking her out - Thinking maybe instead of asking her out
555 00:21:14,340 00:21:16,085 to make me jealous, you should've just to make me jealous, you should've just
556 00:21:16,109 00:21:18,669 asked her out because she's awesome. asked her out because she's awesome.
557 00:21:20,113 00:21:23,114 [jazzy music] [jazzy music]
558 00:21:23,149 00:21:25,082 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
559 00:21:25,118 00:21:27,184 honey, I'm home. honey, I'm home.
560 00:21:27,220 00:21:29,198 Man [over tv]: You know what I'd do if I were you? Man [over tv]: You know what I'd do if I were you?
561 00:21:29,222 00:21:31,233 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, this is my favorite part! - Wait, wait, wait, wait, this is my favorite part!
562 00:21:31,257 00:21:33,090 - Mine too! - Mine too!
563 00:21:33,126 00:21:36,160 All: Fill my boots with lead and jump in the ocean, All: Fill my boots with lead and jump in the ocean,
564 00:21:36,195 00:21:38,329 you pig-nosed gypsy! you pig-nosed gypsy!
565 00:21:38,364 00:21:40,175 [laughter] [machine gun fire on tv] [laughter] [machine gun fire on tv]
566 00:21:40,199 00:21:41,243 - oh, gosh, that's good. - oh, gosh, that's good.
567 00:21:41,267 00:21:43,787 - [sighs] fantastic. - [sighs] fantastic.
568 00:22:04,290 00:22:07,224 - Made in georgia. - Made in georgia.
569 00:22:07,248 00:22:09,248 >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org >>>>oakislandtk