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1 | 00:00:03,540 | 00:00:05,850 | Roger, how are the ice-skating lesson going? | Roger, how are the ice-skating lesson going? |
2 | 00:00:05,890 | 00:00:07,280 | Harder than I thought. | Harder than I thought. |
3 | 00:00:07,330 | 00:00:09,200 | I didn't realize I'd be teaching them. | I didn't realize I'd be teaching them. |
4 | 00:00:11,680 | 00:00:15,640 | You douche-B's ready for my big bachelor party weekend? | You douche-B's ready for my big bachelor party weekend? |
5 | 00:00:15,680 | 00:00:18,340 | Klaus, bachelor parties are for men who are getting married. | Klaus, bachelor parties are for men who are getting married. |
6 | 00:00:18,380 | 00:00:20,300 | You're not a man, and you're not getting married. | You're not a man, and you're not getting married. |
7 | 00:00:20,340 | 00:00:22,300 | Case closed. Guilty of being wrong. | Case closed. Guilty of being wrong. |
8 | 00:00:22,340 | 00:00:24,520 | Your sentencing will be Monday at 9:00 a.m. | Your sentencing will be Monday at 9:00 a.m. |
9 | 00:00:24,560 | 00:00:26,220 | But that's when I'm getting married! | But that's when I'm getting married! |
10 | 00:00:26,260 | 00:00:28,350 | Married to your work? | Married to your work? |
11 | 00:00:28,390 | 00:00:29,740 | No, no, that can't be it. | No, no, that can't be it. |
12 | 00:00:29,780 | 00:00:31,790 | To my girlfriend, Shoshanna. | To my girlfriend, Shoshanna. |
13 | 00:00:31,830 | 00:00:34,220 | Shoe Hannah? The old woman in the park | Shoe Hannah? The old woman in the park |
14 | 00:00:34,270 | 00:00:36,230 | who sells shoes out of a baby stroller? | who sells shoes out of a baby stroller? |
15 | 00:00:36,270 | 00:00:37,270 | Shoshanna! | Shoshanna! |
16 | 00:00:37,310 | 00:00:39,100 | She used to live in Steve's room. | She used to live in Steve's room. |
17 | 00:00:39,140 | 00:00:41,100 | She smoked cigarettes on his bed. | She smoked cigarettes on his bed. |
18 | 00:00:42,280 | 00:00:44,100 | You mean Francine! | You mean Francine! |
19 | 00:00:44,150 | 00:00:45,500 | Seriously, guys? | Seriously, guys? |
20 | 00:00:45,540 | 00:00:47,760 | I've been talking about it all year! | I've been talking about it all year! |
21 | 00:00:48,930 | 00:00:50,370 | I asked Shoshanna to marry me. | I asked Shoshanna to marry me. |
22 | 00:00:50,410 | 00:00:52,330 | She choked a little bit on her Kahlúa, | She choked a little bit on her Kahlúa, |
23 | 00:00:52,370 | 00:00:54,110 | and she said she'll think about it! | and she said she'll think about it! |
24 | 00:00:55,160 | 00:00:56,940 | Shoshanna said yes! | Shoshanna said yes! |
25 | 00:00:56,990 | 00:00:59,290 | Well, she said, "Yeah, I guess," but it still counts. | Well, she said, "Yeah, I guess," but it still counts. |
26 | 00:01:00,290 | 00:01:01,560 | She backed out! | She backed out! |
27 | 00:01:02,600 | 00:01:03,860 | She's back in! | She's back in! |
28 | 00:01:04,950 | 00:01:06,780 | She backed out! | She backed out! |
29 | 00:01:08,080 | 00:01:10,830 | She's back in! I'm getting married next week! | She's back in! I'm getting married next week! |
30 | 00:01:10,870 | 00:01:13,050 | I think I'm gonna take ice-skating lessons. | I think I'm gonna take ice-skating lessons. |
31 | 00:01:13,090 | 00:01:14,220 | Good for you! Way to go! | Good for you! Way to go! |
32 | 00:01:14,260 | 00:01:15,830 | That's amazing! Good luck! | That's amazing! Good luck! |
33 | 00:01:15,870 | 00:01:16,830 | Married? | Married? |
34 | 00:01:16,880 | 00:01:18,180 | I'm getting married! | I'm getting married! |
35 | 00:01:18,220 | 00:01:19,620 | To your work? | To your work? |
36 | 00:01:19,660 | 00:01:21,180 | No, no, that can't be it. | No, no, that can't be it. |
37 | 00:01:22,320 | 00:01:24,840 | The wedding is Monday at 9:00 a.m., | The wedding is Monday at 9:00 a.m., |
38 | 00:01:24,880 | 00:01:27,490 | and the bachelor party is this weekend. | and the bachelor party is this weekend. |
39 | 00:01:27,540 | 00:01:29,240 | You guys have to come. | You guys have to come. |
40 | 00:01:29,280 | 00:01:30,980 | According to an article I read, | According to an article I read, |
41 | 00:01:31,020 | 00:01:33,300 | if you don't have anyone else with you on your bachelor party, | if you don't have anyone else with you on your bachelor party, |
42 | 00:01:33,330 | 00:01:34,370 | it's sad. | it's sad. |
43 | 00:01:35,760 | 00:01:37,220 | I really don't want to hang out with Klaus. | I really don't want to hang out with Klaus. |
44 | 00:01:37,240 | 00:01:38,200 | Me, neither. | Me, neither. |
45 | 00:01:38,240 | 00:01:40,200 | I suppose the bachelor party | I suppose the bachelor party |
46 | 00:01:40,250 | 00:01:42,340 | is the most sacred of men's parties. | is the most sacred of men's parties. |
47 | 00:01:42,380 | 00:01:46,340 | To deny it would be to deny God, the most sacred bachelor of all. | To deny it would be to deny God, the most sacred bachelor of all. |
48 | 00:01:46,380 | 00:01:47,380 | Sounds like fun! | Sounds like fun! |
49 | 00:01:47,430 | 00:01:48,650 | No kids allowed. | No kids allowed. |
50 | 00:01:48,690 | 00:01:51,000 | Just Stan, Roger, and Jeff. | Just Stan, Roger, and Jeff. |
51 | 00:01:51,040 | 00:01:52,390 | Wow! I'm Jeff! | Wow! I'm Jeff! |
52 | 00:01:52,430 | 00:01:55,170 | Hayley, since the men are going away, | Hayley, since the men are going away, |
53 | 00:01:55,220 | 00:01:57,790 | you and I should have a fun girls' weekend! | you and I should have a fun girls' weekend! |
54 | 00:01:57,830 | 00:01:59,310 | Let's get a stripper. | Let's get a stripper. |
55 | 00:01:59,350 | 00:02:00,440 | Mom! | Mom! |
56 | 00:02:00,480 | 00:02:01,880 | Yes! | Yes! |
57 | 00:02:01,920 | 00:02:04,270 | I guess this could bean opportunity | I guess this could bean opportunity |
58 | 00:02:04,310 | 00:02:06,880 | to learn about the complicated world of sex workers. | to learn about the complicated world of sex workers. |
59 | 00:02:06,930 | 00:02:08,670 | No kids allowed, Steve. | No kids allowed, Steve. |
60 | 00:02:08,710 | 00:02:10,360 | So, I have to spend the whole weekend | So, I have to spend the whole weekend |
61 | 00:02:10,410 | 00:02:13,110 | not hanging outwith either of my parents? | not hanging outwith either of my parents? |
62 | 00:02:13,150 | 00:02:16,330 | I hate my liiiife! | I hate my liiiife! |
63 | 00:02:38,130 | 00:02:40,350 | Good morning, U.S.A. | Good morning, U.S.A. |
64 | 00:02:48,710 | 00:02:51,450 | 2010 Sebring convertible. | 2010 Sebring convertible. |
65 | 00:02:51,490 | 00:02:53,280 | It's on the secret menu at Hertz. | It's on the secret menu at Hertz. |
66 | 00:02:53,320 | 00:02:55,150 | Remind me why we're going to West Virginia | Remind me why we're going to West Virginia |
67 | 00:02:55,190 | 00:02:56,670 | for your party, Klaus. | for your party, Klaus. |
68 | 00:02:56,710 | 00:02:59,630 | Because it's home to the world's largest sycamore tree. | Because it's home to the world's largest sycamore tree. |
69 | 00:02:59,670 | 00:03:01,280 | My boy Scooter got a blow job there, | My boy Scooter got a blow job there, |
70 | 00:03:01,330 | 00:03:03,680 | and I'm gonna put his ashes under it. | and I'm gonna put his ashes under it. |
71 | 00:03:03,720 | 00:03:06,380 | Now, guys, I downloaded | Now, guys, I downloaded |
72 | 00:03:06,420 | 00:03:09,030 | "Joe Rogan's Ultimate Bachelor Party Checklist." | "Joe Rogan's Ultimate Bachelor Party Checklist." |
73 | 00:03:09,070 | 00:03:10,640 | Let's check every box. | Let's check every box. |
74 | 00:03:10,680 | 00:03:14,470 | First item... "Make a joke about the bride." | First item... "Make a joke about the bride." |
75 | 00:03:14,510 | 00:03:16,520 | Stan, make a joke about Shoshanna. | Stan, make a joke about Shoshanna. |
76 | 00:03:16,560 | 00:03:17,260 | Who's Shoshanna? | Who's Shoshanna? |
77 | 00:03:17,300 | 00:03:19,480 | Good one, Stan! | Good one, Stan! |
78 | 00:03:19,520 | 00:03:21,130 | Okay, what's next? | Okay, what's next? |
79 | 00:03:21,170 | 00:03:23,390 | "Talk about your favorite thing." | "Talk about your favorite thing." |
80 | 00:03:23,440 | 00:03:26,440 | I like long eyelashes on babies. | I like long eyelashes on babies. |
81 | 00:03:26,480 | 00:03:28,270 | Mine's the Instant Pot. | Mine's the Instant Pot. |
82 | 00:03:28,310 | 00:03:31,310 | Shosh and I are doing so many easy, healthy meals | Shosh and I are doing so many easy, healthy meals |
83 | 00:03:31,360 | 00:03:32,360 | in our Instant Pot. | in our Instant Pot. |
84 | 00:03:32,400 | 00:03:33,400 | Wait a second. | Wait a second. |
85 | 00:03:33,450 | 00:03:36,410 | Klaus, have you met someone? | Klaus, have you met someone? |
86 | 00:03:38,800 | 00:03:42,500 | Any second now, Rick Rod from Rod Hard Entertainment | Any second now, Rick Rod from Rod Hard Entertainment |
87 | 00:03:42,540 | 00:03:44,980 | is gonna walk through that front door! | is gonna walk through that front door! |
88 | 00:03:45,020 | 00:03:48,850 | Every time I look at his picture, I get so hot, hot, hot! | Every time I look at his picture, I get so hot, hot, hot! |
89 | 00:03:49,940 | 00:03:51,860 | Now, this is a man. | Now, this is a man. |
90 | 00:03:51,900 | 00:03:52,990 | Can I see a man? | Can I see a man? |
91 | 00:03:53,030 | 00:03:54,550 | Get outta here! | Get outta here! |
92 | 00:03:54,600 | 00:03:57,300 | I'm trying to get hot with my daughter, not my son! | I'm trying to get hot with my daughter, not my son! |
93 | 00:03:57,340 | 00:03:58,950 | He's here! | He's here! |
94 | 00:04:05,130 | 00:04:06,650 | Hello, ladies. | Hello, ladies. |
95 | 00:04:06,700 | 00:04:08,530 | You're disappointed. I can tell. | You're disappointed. I can tell. |
96 | 00:04:08,570 | 00:04:11,090 | I can read people like other people can read a book. | I can read people like other people can read a book. |
97 | 00:04:11,140 | 00:04:12,660 | You don't look like your picture. | You don't look like your picture. |
98 | 00:04:12,700 | 00:04:15,360 | I know! That guy is so hot! | I know! That guy is so hot! |
99 | 00:04:17,530 | 00:04:20,010 | No, no, no, no! | No, no, no, no! |
100 | 00:04:20,060 | 00:04:23,100 | The batteries... The batteries are dead. | The batteries... The batteries are dead. |
101 | 00:04:23,150 | 00:04:24,410 | It's okay. | It's okay. |
102 | 00:04:24,450 | 00:04:26,890 | Calm otter floating in a river. | Calm otter floating in a river. |
103 | 00:04:26,930 | 00:04:28,460 | Where do you keep your "D" batteries? | Where do you keep your "D" batteries? |
104 | 00:04:28,500 | 00:04:30,020 | We don't have any "D" batteries. | We don't have any "D" batteries. |
105 | 00:04:30,070 | 00:04:32,720 | You don't have a single "D" battery | You don't have a single "D" battery |
106 | 00:04:32,770 | 00:04:36,120 | in this castle, Your Majesty? | in this castle, Your Majesty? |
107 | 00:04:36,160 | 00:04:37,250 | Sorry, we don't have... | Sorry, we don't have... |
108 | 00:04:37,290 | 00:04:39,380 | Enough! If I can't dance | Enough! If I can't dance |
109 | 00:04:39,430 | 00:04:40,910 | to Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative," | to Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative," |
110 | 00:04:40,950 | 00:04:43,950 | then I can't get you ladies slippin' and slidin'. | then I can't get you ladies slippin' and slidin'. |
111 | 00:04:44,000 | 00:04:45,740 | Stay put. I'm going for batteries. | Stay put. I'm going for batteries. |
112 | 00:04:45,780 | 00:04:48,170 | That's okay. You don't have to come back. | That's okay. You don't have to come back. |
113 | 00:04:48,220 | 00:04:49,480 | We can still pay you. | We can still pay you. |
114 | 00:04:49,520 | 00:04:51,480 | Yeah, no offense, but your energy | Yeah, no offense, but your energy |
115 | 00:04:51,520 | 00:04:53,000 | makes me feel very unsafe. | makes me feel very unsafe. |
116 | 00:04:53,050 | 00:04:54,960 | Rick Rod don't leave women high, | Rick Rod don't leave women high, |
117 | 00:04:55,010 | 00:04:57,400 | and he especially don't leave 'em dry! | and he especially don't leave 'em dry! |
118 | 00:04:57,440 | 00:04:59,400 | Gross. Again, unsafe. | Gross. Again, unsafe. |
119 | 00:05:05,020 | 00:05:06,970 | I can't believe we've been "bro-coded" | I can't believe we've been "bro-coded" |
120 | 00:05:07,020 | 00:05:08,370 | into a weekend with Klaus. | into a weekend with Klaus. |
121 | 00:05:08,410 | 00:05:10,020 | I told you we shouldn't have come. | I told you we shouldn't have come. |
122 | 00:05:10,060 | 00:05:11,150 | Yeah! | Yeah! |
123 | 00:05:11,200 | 00:05:12,550 | Klaus is... | Klaus is... |
124 | 00:05:12,590 | 00:05:14,290 | frustrating! | frustrating! |
125 | 00:05:14,330 | 00:05:16,290 | Jeff, you're a secondary member of the group. | Jeff, you're a secondary member of the group. |
126 | 00:05:16,330 | 00:05:18,220 | You don't have to have a strong opinion about this. | You don't have to have a strong opinion about this. |
127 | 00:05:18,250 | 00:05:19,250 | Oh, good. | Oh, good. |
128 | 00:05:19,290 | 00:05:20,420 | Check it out! | Check it out! |
129 | 00:05:20,470 | 00:05:22,160 | I got us matching T-shirts | I got us matching T-shirts |
130 | 00:05:22,210 | 00:05:24,080 | that say "Klaus's Boyz"! | that say "Klaus's Boyz"! |
131 | 00:05:25,650 | 00:05:27,390 | I thought this would never happen, | I thought this would never happen, |
132 | 00:05:27,430 | 00:05:29,300 | but the era of replacing an "S" | but the era of replacing an "S" |
133 | 00:05:29,350 | 00:05:32,610 | with a "Z" to make a word cool is over. | with a "Z" to make a word cool is over. |
134 | 00:05:32,650 | 00:05:35,920 | Sorry, sleeping people, you sound like snakes now. | Sorry, sleeping people, you sound like snakes now. |
135 | 00:05:37,700 | 00:05:39,960 | I've always found whiskey-tasting pretentious. | I've always found whiskey-tasting pretentious. |
136 | 00:05:40,010 | 00:05:42,660 | What, am I supposed to just drink this with no Diet Coke? | What, am I supposed to just drink this with no Diet Coke? |
137 | 00:05:42,710 | 00:05:44,620 | Why does this bottle have a warning label? | Why does this bottle have a warning label? |
138 | 00:05:44,660 | 00:05:46,230 | This whiskey's 400 proof. | This whiskey's 400 proof. |
139 | 00:05:46,270 | 00:05:48,450 | If it comes anywhere near a flame, | If it comes anywhere near a flame, |
140 | 00:05:48,490 | 00:05:50,500 | it'll explode everything. | it'll explode everything. |
141 | 00:05:50,540 | 00:05:52,280 | Whooooa! Whooooa! Whooooa! Whooooa! | Whooooa! Whooooa! Whooooa! Whooooa! |
142 | 00:05:52,320 | 00:05:54,130 | Okay, now, go ahead, take a sip of your whiskeys | Okay, now, go ahead, take a sip of your whiskeys |
143 | 00:05:54,150 | 00:05:55,680 | and shout out any notes you taste. | and shout out any notes you taste. |
144 | 00:05:55,720 | 00:05:56,680 | I taste grapes! | I taste grapes! |
145 | 00:05:56,720 | 00:05:59,550 | After you tried it. | After you tried it. |
146 | 00:05:59,590 | 00:06:00,770 | Edamame! No. | Edamame! No. |
147 | 00:06:00,810 | 00:06:01,810 | And cocoa.No. | And cocoa.No. |
148 | 00:06:01,860 | 00:06:02,860 | Egg.No. | Egg.No. |
149 | 00:06:02,900 | 00:06:04,420 | Lime. Rice? No. No. | Lime. Rice? No. No. |
150 | 00:06:04,470 | 00:06:05,470 | Mustard.No. | Mustard.No. |
151 | 00:06:05,510 | 00:06:06,600 | My tongue must be broken | My tongue must be broken |
152 | 00:06:06,640 | 00:06:08,560 | from all the making out I've been doing. | from all the making out I've been doing. |
153 | 00:06:08,600 | 00:06:10,430 | No.You haven't tried yours. | No.You haven't tried yours. |
154 | 00:06:12,820 | 00:06:14,350 | That's good. | That's good. |
155 | 00:06:14,390 | 00:06:15,480 | And familiar. | And familiar. |
156 | 00:06:15,520 | 00:06:17,440 | When I was a boy, my father said | When I was a boy, my father said |
157 | 00:06:17,480 | 00:06:20,570 | the juiciest part of the fig tree was the trunk. | the juiciest part of the fig tree was the trunk. |
158 | 00:06:20,610 | 00:06:23,530 | So I bit into it and broke all eight of my teeth. | So I bit into it and broke all eight of my teeth. |
159 | 00:06:23,570 | 00:06:24,920 | This tastes like baby teeth! | This tastes like baby teeth! |
160 | 00:06:24,970 | 00:06:26,580 | Good palate! | Good palate! |
161 | 00:06:26,620 | 00:06:28,320 | I'm very proud of you! | I'm very proud of you! |
162 | 00:06:28,360 | 00:06:31,230 | This gal's really invested in Stan. | This gal's really invested in Stan. |
163 | 00:06:31,280 | 00:06:33,100 | And now that you're dangerously drunk, | And now that you're dangerously drunk, |
164 | 00:06:33,150 | 00:06:35,320 | it's time for axe throwing. | it's time for axe throwing. |
165 | 00:06:35,370 | 00:06:37,590 | Axe throwing is the new Big Jenga. | Axe throwing is the new Big Jenga. |
166 | 00:06:37,630 | 00:06:41,680 | The rules are simple... pick one up and throw it. | The rules are simple... pick one up and throw it. |
167 | 00:06:41,720 | 00:06:43,160 | Axe throwing is on the checklist! | Axe throwing is on the checklist! |
168 | 00:06:43,200 | 00:06:45,290 | Do we need an axe-throwing lesson? | Do we need an axe-throwing lesson? |
169 | 00:06:45,330 | 00:06:48,080 | Only if you're a nerd. | Only if you're a nerd. |
170 | 00:06:55,780 | 00:06:57,520 | Klaus picked this place? | Klaus picked this place? |
171 | 00:06:57,560 | 00:06:59,040 | This is actually delicious! | This is actually delicious! |
172 | 00:06:59,090 | 00:07:00,090 | Guys! Guys! | Guys! Guys! |
173 | 00:07:00,130 | 00:07:02,350 | Guys! Check out my trick! | Guys! Check out my trick! |
174 | 00:07:02,390 | 00:07:03,920 | Damn it! | Damn it! |
175 | 00:07:03,960 | 00:07:05,530 | Still a pretty good throw. | Still a pretty good throw. |
176 | 00:07:05,570 | 00:07:07,490 | But I was trying to do a cartwheel. | But I was trying to do a cartwheel. |
177 | 00:07:07,530 | 00:07:09,140 | These are ribs! | These are ribs! |
178 | 00:07:09,180 | 00:07:12,710 | We're having a great time, and it's all because of Klaus! | We're having a great time, and it's all because of Klaus! |
179 | 00:07:12,750 | 00:07:14,890 | I smoke my meat for 48 hours | I smoke my meat for 48 hours |
180 | 00:07:14,930 | 00:07:17,060 | to achieve this texture and flavor. | to achieve this texture and flavor. |
181 | 00:07:17,100 | 00:07:18,540 | 48 hours?! | 48 hours?! |
182 | 00:07:18,580 | 00:07:22,550 | Me and Shoshanna's Instant Pot could do this in 10 minutes. | Me and Shoshanna's Instant Pot could do this in 10 minutes. |
183 | 00:07:22,590 | 00:07:24,500 | Could it do it in nine minutes? | Could it do it in nine minutes? |
184 | 00:07:24,550 | 00:07:25,850 | I don't think so. | I don't think so. |
185 | 00:07:25,900 | 00:07:28,290 | Could it do it in eight minutes? | Could it do it in eight minutes? |
186 | 00:07:28,330 | 00:07:30,730 | I see where this is going, so I'm going to say yes. | I see where this is going, so I'm going to say yes. |
187 | 00:07:30,770 | 00:07:33,510 | Could it do it in seven minutes? | Could it do it in seven minutes? |
188 | 00:07:35,690 | 00:07:37,600 | Come on, six! Six, six, six. | Come on, six! Six, six, six. |
189 | 00:07:37,650 | 00:07:38,910 | Sign of the devil! | Sign of the devil! |
190 | 00:07:38,950 | 00:07:41,130 | Hear my prayer, Satan, and bring me a six! | Hear my prayer, Satan, and bring me a six! |
191 | 00:07:42,390 | 00:07:43,440 | - Six! - Yeah! | - Six! - Yeah! |
192 | 00:07:43,480 | 00:07:46,660 | Satan! Satan! Satan! | Satan! Satan! Satan! |
193 | 00:07:46,700 | 00:07:48,180 | Well, this has been a great weekend, | Well, this has been a great weekend, |
194 | 00:07:48,220 | 00:07:50,010 | but I'm afraid it's time to wrap it up. | but I'm afraid it's time to wrap it up. |
195 | 00:07:50,050 | 00:07:51,920 | Klaus has to be at the church at 9:00 tomorrow, | Klaus has to be at the church at 9:00 tomorrow, |
196 | 00:07:51,970 | 00:07:55,010 | and it's our duty as his boyz to get him there on time. | and it's our duty as his boyz to get him there on time. |
197 | 00:07:55,060 | 00:07:57,580 | I wish this night didn't have to end. | I wish this night didn't have to end. |
198 | 00:07:57,620 | 00:07:58,930 | One more round, then we go? | One more round, then we go? |
199 | 00:07:58,970 | 00:08:00,930 | Let's do it. | Let's do it. |
200 | 00:08:04,630 | 00:08:07,330 | Look, Stan, I have weighted dice. | Look, Stan, I have weighted dice. |
201 | 00:08:07,370 | 00:08:09,110 | What? Why? We're already winning! | What? Why? We're already winning! |
202 | 00:08:09,160 | 00:08:10,980 | Come on, seven! | Come on, seven! |
203 | 00:08:12,860 | 00:08:13,770 | White dice?! | White dice?! |
204 | 00:08:13,810 | 00:08:15,820 | You boys are cheatin'! | You boys are cheatin'! |
205 | 00:08:15,860 | 00:08:17,770 | Get 'em! | Get 'em! |
206 | 00:08:20,250 | 00:08:21,600 | Why did you do that? | Why did you do that? |
207 | 00:08:21,650 | 00:08:23,910 | Fighting is on the checklist, bro. | Fighting is on the checklist, bro. |
208 | 00:08:23,950 | 00:08:25,220 | Cool! Mark it off! | Cool! Mark it off! |
209 | 00:08:26,740 | 00:08:29,440 | If the waitress comes back with my Bud Ice, | If the waitress comes back with my Bud Ice, |
210 | 00:08:29,480 | 00:08:32,570 | please have her tuck it into my underpants. | please have her tuck it into my underpants. |
211 | 00:08:44,190 | 00:08:47,410 | Looks like little fish stick and his peas are waking up. | Looks like little fish stick and his peas are waking up. |
212 | 00:08:47,460 | 00:08:49,500 | We're not peas. We're boyz. | We're not peas. We're boyz. |
213 | 00:08:49,550 | 00:08:50,590 | Klaus's Boyz! | Klaus's Boyz! |
214 | 00:08:50,630 | 00:08:51,760 | We are a tribe! | We are a tribe! |
215 | 00:08:51,810 | 00:08:53,070 | We are a tribe! | We are a tribe! |
216 | 00:08:53,110 | 00:08:54,680 | Jeff! Let us out. | Jeff! Let us out. |
217 | 00:08:54,720 | 00:08:56,270 | We have a wedding to get to in the morning. | We have a wedding to get to in the morning. |
218 | 00:08:56,290 | 00:08:58,860 | And I have a wedding to go to right now. | And I have a wedding to go to right now. |
219 | 00:08:58,900 | 00:09:00,770 | Tough Teddy, will you marry me? | Tough Teddy, will you marry me? |
220 | 00:09:00,820 | 00:09:01,990 | Immediately? | Immediately? |
221 | 00:09:02,040 | 00:09:04,860 | Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! | Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! |
222 | 00:09:06,210 | 00:09:09,000 | It's 3:00 a.m. now and a five-hour drive to Langley, | It's 3:00 a.m. now and a five-hour drive to Langley, |
223 | 00:09:09,040 | 00:09:10,260 | so we gotta move. | so we gotta move. |
224 | 00:09:10,300 | 00:09:11,610 | Jeff, what are you doing? | Jeff, what are you doing? |
225 | 00:09:11,650 | 00:09:14,870 | I'm in a cage, and that makes me sad, | I'm in a cage, and that makes me sad, |
226 | 00:09:14,920 | 00:09:19,530 | so I'm drowning my sorrows in 400-proof whiskey. | so I'm drowning my sorrows in 400-proof whiskey. |
227 | 00:09:19,580 | 00:09:20,660 | That's it! | That's it! |
228 | 00:09:20,710 | 00:09:22,070 | Roger, I assume you have a lighter. | Roger, I assume you have a lighter. |
229 | 00:09:22,100 | 00:09:23,620 | I do! Somewhere on me. | I do! Somewhere on me. |
230 | 00:09:23,670 | 00:09:25,800 | That very hip lady at the whiskey tasting | That very hip lady at the whiskey tasting |
231 | 00:09:25,840 | 00:09:28,890 | said if this alcohol comes near a flame, it... | said if this alcohol comes near a flame, it... |
232 | 00:09:35,160 | 00:09:38,460 | Stan, the casino exploded before I could lend you my lighter. | Stan, the casino exploded before I could lend you my lighter. |
233 | 00:09:38,510 | 00:09:39,860 | I can't believe we're all alive! | I can't believe we're all alive! |
234 | 00:09:40,860 | 00:09:42,030 | What? What is it? | What? What is it? |
235 | 00:09:42,080 | 00:09:43,120 | Am I hurt? | Am I hurt? |
236 | 00:09:44,950 | 00:09:45,780 | Yes. | Yes. |
237 | 00:09:49,170 | 00:09:51,780 | Look out! He's calling the Von Trapp children! | Look out! He's calling the Von Trapp children! |
238 | 00:09:54,960 | 00:09:55,900 | Oh, that makes more sense. | Oh, that makes more sense. |
239 | 00:09:55,920 | 00:09:57,130 | Run! | Run! |
240 | 00:10:02,970 | 00:10:06,320 | Ready to get hor-nay? | Ready to get hor-nay? |
241 | 00:10:06,360 | 00:10:08,450 | It's the middle of the night. | It's the middle of the night. |
242 | 00:10:08,490 | 00:10:09,950 | It took me a while to find a Walgreens | It took me a while to find a Walgreens |
243 | 00:10:09,970 | 00:10:11,500 | that would let me in without a shirt. | that would let me in without a shirt. |
244 | 00:10:11,540 | 00:10:12,930 | Can I come in? No. | Can I come in? No. |
245 | 00:10:12,980 | 00:10:15,150 | You're just like Walgreens! | You're just like Walgreens! |
246 | 00:10:15,200 | 00:10:16,460 | Hey, everybody! | Hey, everybody! |
247 | 00:10:16,500 | 00:10:18,940 | This house ordered a stripper! | This house ordered a stripper! |
248 | 00:10:18,980 | 00:10:19,850 | - What? - Oh, my! | - What? - Oh, my! |
249 | 00:10:19,900 | 00:10:21,250 | At the Smiths? | At the Smiths? |
250 | 00:10:21,290 | 00:10:23,160 | Fine! Come in. Come in. | Fine! Come in. Come in. |
251 | 00:10:23,200 | 00:10:24,940 | I was just kidding! | I was just kidding! |
252 | 00:10:24,990 | 00:10:25,950 | Oh, it's a joke. | Oh, it's a joke. |
253 | 00:10:25,990 | 00:10:28,860 | - Oh, okay. - That's pretty funny. | - Oh, okay. - That's pretty funny. |
254 | 00:10:28,910 | 00:10:30,560 | Who are you? | Who are you? |
255 | 00:10:30,600 | 00:10:32,600 | It's my weekend with my 300-pound son, Mason. | It's my weekend with my 300-pound son, Mason. |
256 | 00:10:32,650 | 00:10:34,300 | He was getting restless in the car, | He was getting restless in the car, |
257 | 00:10:34,350 | 00:10:36,090 | so I told him to go in through the back. | so I told him to go in through the back. |
258 | 00:10:36,130 | 00:10:39,260 | Now, to turn you on! | Now, to turn you on! |
259 | 00:10:40,790 | 00:10:43,830 | Oh, no! No, no, no, no! | Oh, no! No, no, no, no! |
260 | 00:10:43,880 | 00:10:47,360 | It wasn't the batteries. It was the box itself. | It wasn't the batteries. It was the box itself. |
261 | 00:10:47,400 | 00:10:48,840 | I'm spiraling! | I'm spiraling! |
262 | 00:10:48,880 | 00:10:50,140 | Don't spiral! | Don't spiral! |
263 | 00:10:50,190 | 00:10:51,970 | I think it's super hot | I think it's super hot |
264 | 00:10:52,020 | 00:10:54,150 | that you dragged your boombox all the way to Walgreens | that you dragged your boombox all the way to Walgreens |
265 | 00:10:54,190 | 00:10:56,320 | and didn't test the batteries before you left. | and didn't test the batteries before you left. |
266 | 00:10:56,370 | 00:10:58,110 | No, you don't think it's hot! | No, you don't think it's hot! |
267 | 00:10:58,150 | 00:11:00,200 | I'm a failure! | I'm a failure! |
268 | 00:11:00,240 | 00:11:01,980 | Can I have two red wines? | Can I have two red wines? |
269 | 00:11:02,030 | 00:11:04,980 | No! You and Mason need to leave! | No! You and Mason need to leave! |
270 | 00:11:05,030 | 00:11:06,770 | Okay, I'm leaving. | Okay, I'm leaving. |
271 | 00:11:06,810 | 00:11:08,810 | Come on, Mason. | Come on, Mason. |
272 | 00:11:08,860 | 00:11:09,990 | Stair fake-out! | Stair fake-out! |
273 | 00:11:12,780 | 00:11:16,170 | Mom! That stripper's in my room! | Mom! That stripper's in my room! |
274 | 00:11:16,210 | 00:11:18,560 | Now he's opening a vent! | Now he's opening a vent! |
275 | 00:11:18,610 | 00:11:19,910 | He's in the walls! | He's in the walls! |
276 | 00:11:19,960 | 00:11:22,220 | He does that sometimes when he's insecure. | He does that sometimes when he's insecure. |
277 | 00:11:22,260 | 00:11:23,870 | Which is basically all the time. | Which is basically all the time. |
278 | 00:11:23,920 | 00:11:26,350 | I can't understand why he went into this industry. | I can't understand why he went into this industry. |
279 | 00:11:26,400 | 00:11:28,790 | He passed the bar on the first try. | He passed the bar on the first try. |
280 | 00:11:28,830 | 00:11:32,010 | I'm not hiding this body under some judge's robe! | I'm not hiding this body under some judge's robe! |
281 | 00:11:36,280 | 00:11:37,320 | Oh, no! | Oh, no! |
282 | 00:11:37,360 | 00:11:39,850 | Why did we do this to the car? | Why did we do this to the car? |
283 | 00:11:41,060 | 00:11:42,630 | The barbecue place! | The barbecue place! |
284 | 00:11:42,670 | 00:11:45,020 | The meat will throw the dogs off our scent. | The meat will throw the dogs off our scent. |
285 | 00:11:49,030 | 00:11:50,810 | Throw all the food at the dogs! | Throw all the food at the dogs! |
286 | 00:11:50,860 | 00:11:52,900 | I'm gonna knock over this whole meat smoker! | I'm gonna knock over this whole meat smoker! |
287 | 00:11:54,990 | 00:11:57,380 | God, Stan, I could have done it alone! | God, Stan, I could have done it alone! |
288 | 00:11:57,430 | 00:11:59,130 | It's working! Thank you, Stan. | It's working! Thank you, Stan. |
289 | 00:11:59,170 | 00:12:00,950 | I couldn't have done it alone. | I couldn't have done it alone. |
290 | 00:12:03,740 | 00:12:05,700 | Klaus's Boyz! | Klaus's Boyz! |
291 | 00:12:05,740 | 00:12:07,220 | Look what I got while I was in there. | Look what I got while I was in there. |
292 | 00:12:07,260 | 00:12:09,610 | Super-long sausage rope. | Super-long sausage rope. |
293 | 00:12:10,920 | 00:12:12,050 | Klaus, you idiot! | Klaus, you idiot! |
294 | 00:12:12,100 | 00:12:14,400 | That sausage leads all the way to the dogs! | That sausage leads all the way to the dogs! |
295 | 00:12:15,710 | 00:12:17,620 | Classic Klaus. | Classic Klaus. |
296 | 00:12:26,020 | 00:12:28,020 | Try the cars. It's our only hope. | Try the cars. It's our only hope. |
297 | 00:12:33,990 | 00:12:35,290 | You trying to steal my truck? | You trying to steal my truck? |
298 | 00:12:35,340 | 00:12:36,990 | You seem like a reasonable man. | You seem like a reasonable man. |
299 | 00:12:40,080 | 00:12:41,470 | That I am. | That I am. |
300 | 00:12:41,520 | 00:12:43,650 | The casino sicked their dogs on us. | The casino sicked their dogs on us. |
301 | 00:12:43,690 | 00:12:47,090 | We need a car to get our friend to his wedding on time. | We need a car to get our friend to his wedding on time. |
302 | 00:12:47,130 | 00:12:48,650 | You're a bachelor party? | You're a bachelor party? |
303 | 00:12:48,700 | 00:12:50,260 | Well, why didn't you say so? | Well, why didn't you say so? |
304 | 00:12:50,310 | 00:12:52,700 | Take my truck! | Take my truck! |
305 | 00:12:52,740 | 00:12:54,960 | And hurry. | And hurry. |
306 | 00:12:55,010 | 00:12:56,880 | Here come the dogs! | Here come the dogs! |
307 | 00:12:56,920 | 00:12:58,050 | Good luck! | Good luck! |
308 | 00:12:58,100 | 00:13:00,620 | Love conquers all! | Love conquers all! |
309 | 00:13:00,670 | 00:13:03,020 | Just enough time to get you to your wedding. | Just enough time to get you to your wedding. |
310 | 00:13:03,060 | 00:13:04,890 | Perfect! We'll make it! | Perfect! We'll make it! |
311 | 00:13:04,930 | 00:13:06,540 | Shoot, let me see those keys. | Shoot, let me see those keys. |
312 | 00:13:08,150 | 00:13:09,630 | Whoops. | Whoops. |
313 | 00:13:09,670 | 00:13:12,460 | Mr. Klaus, are you livin' la vida loco? | Mr. Klaus, are you livin' la vida loco? |
314 | 00:13:12,500 | 00:13:15,250 | Hold on. I need to do a little flashback math. | Hold on. I need to do a little flashback math. |
315 | 00:13:15,290 | 00:13:20,250 | The white dice plus the sausage rope minus the keys equals... | The white dice plus the sausage rope minus the keys equals... |
316 | 00:13:20,290 | 00:13:21,770 | You're sabotaging us! | You're sabotaging us! |
317 | 00:13:23,380 | 00:13:25,260 | I have cold feet. | I have cold feet. |
318 | 00:13:25,300 | 00:13:27,080 | I'm scared to get married. | I'm scared to get married. |
319 | 00:13:27,130 | 00:13:28,130 | Oh, no! | Oh, no! |
320 | 00:13:28,170 | 00:13:31,130 | They're chewing up my Air Jordans! | They're chewing up my Air Jordans! |
321 | 00:13:31,170 | 00:13:32,350 | No, don't be scared! | No, don't be scared! |
322 | 00:13:32,390 | 00:13:34,000 | Zendaya is perfect for you! | Zendaya is perfect for you! |
323 | 00:13:34,050 | 00:13:36,440 | I worry I'm not good enough. | I worry I'm not good enough. |
324 | 00:13:36,480 | 00:13:38,880 | You guys didn't even want to spend the weekend with me. | You guys didn't even want to spend the weekend with me. |
325 | 00:13:38,920 | 00:13:40,270 | Is she really gonna want | Is she really gonna want |
326 | 00:13:40,310 | 00:13:42,490 | to spend the rest of her life with me? | to spend the rest of her life with me? |
327 | 00:13:42,530 | 00:13:45,930 | They're working their way up my Ed Hardy jeans! | They're working their way up my Ed Hardy jeans! |
328 | 00:13:47,100 | 00:13:49,240 | Klaus, we shouldn't have said that. | Klaus, we shouldn't have said that. |
329 | 00:13:49,280 | 00:13:52,020 | If you're as good a husband as you are a friend, | If you're as good a husband as you are a friend, |
330 | 00:13:52,060 | 00:13:53,890 | she is one lucky lady. | she is one lucky lady. |
331 | 00:13:53,940 | 00:13:55,070 | Thanks, Stan. | Thanks, Stan. |
332 | 00:13:55,110 | 00:13:57,160 | You guessed it! | You guessed it! |
333 | 00:13:57,200 | 00:14:00,590 | My Tommy Hilfiger shirt was next! | My Tommy Hilfiger shirt was next! |
334 | 00:14:00,640 | 00:14:01,920 | Now, let's get you to your wedding. | Now, let's get you to your wedding. |
335 | 00:14:01,940 | 00:14:03,900 | What about the keys? | What about the keys? |
336 | 00:14:03,950 | 00:14:08,730 | Nother set under my Louis Vuitton floor mats! | Nother set under my Louis Vuitton floor mats! |
337 | 00:14:12,610 | 00:14:14,300 | We're gonna make it. | We're gonna make it. |
338 | 00:14:14,350 | 00:14:16,330 | We just have to stop at the dry cleaners to get our suits. | We just have to stop at the dry cleaners to get our suits. |
339 | 00:14:16,350 | 00:14:19,270 | And maybe the drugstore for some Neosporin? | And maybe the drugstore for some Neosporin? |
340 | 00:14:19,310 | 00:14:20,400 | Is someone hurt? | Is someone hurt? |
341 | 00:14:20,440 | 00:14:22,270 | I can't hear so well on this side. | I can't hear so well on this side. |
342 | 00:14:22,310 | 00:14:23,620 | Don't get old. | Don't get old. |
343 | 00:14:23,660 | 00:14:25,140 | How 'bout some tunes for the road? | How 'bout some tunes for the road? |
344 | 00:14:26,320 | 00:14:29,930 | Everybody's talking all this stuff about me | Everybody's talking all this stuff about me |
345 | 00:14:29,970 | 00:14:32,980 | Where do I know that dog from? | Where do I know that dog from? |
346 | 00:14:33,020 | 00:14:35,150 | Is he from a TV show? | Is he from a TV show? |
347 | 00:14:35,190 | 00:14:36,540 | From a movie? | From a movie? |
348 | 00:14:36,590 | 00:14:38,980 | Aaaaahhh, the dog followed us! | Aaaaahhh, the dog followed us! |
349 | 00:14:39,020 | 00:14:41,940 | Oh! From the chasing us earlier! | Oh! From the chasing us earlier! |
350 | 00:14:41,980 | 00:14:43,420 | We're almost to the cleaners. | We're almost to the cleaners. |
351 | 00:14:43,460 | 00:14:45,600 | We can't get out if the dog is there. | We can't get out if the dog is there. |
352 | 00:14:47,860 | 00:14:50,300 | We need to open the tailgate without stopping the truck. | We need to open the tailgate without stopping the truck. |
353 | 00:14:50,340 | 00:14:51,560 | I'm on it! | I'm on it! |
354 | 00:14:51,600 | 00:14:53,210 | They say I'm nasty | They say I'm nasty |
355 | 00:14:53,260 | 00:14:57,000 | But I don't give a damn | But I don't give a damn |
356 | 00:14:57,040 | 00:14:59,000 | Gettin' girls is how I live Hit the gas! | Gettin' girls is how I live Hit the gas! |
357 | 00:15:00,260 | 00:15:03,090 | Some ask me questions | Some ask me questions |
358 | 00:15:03,140 | 00:15:05,090 | Why am I so real? | Why am I so real? |
359 | 00:15:05,140 | 00:15:07,010 | But they don't understand me | But they don't understand me |
360 | 00:15:07,050 | 00:15:09,010 | Or really don't know the deal | Or really don't know the deal |
361 | 00:15:09,050 | 00:15:10,380 | About a brother | About a brother |
362 | 00:15:16,890 | 00:15:18,150 | I got our suits! | I got our suits! |
363 | 00:15:18,190 | 00:15:20,410 | If we can, I'd love to grab a quick shower | If we can, I'd love to grab a quick shower |
364 | 00:15:20,460 | 00:15:22,110 | before I throw this baby on. | before I throw this baby on. |
365 | 00:15:22,150 | 00:15:25,810 | Is it hot or cold water that gets glass out of your face? | Is it hot or cold water that gets glass out of your face? |
366 | 00:15:25,850 | 00:15:27,460 | You know what? I'll just push it in. | You know what? I'll just push it in. |
367 | 00:15:30,160 | 00:15:31,820 | I can't believe the love of my life | I can't believe the love of my life |
368 | 00:15:31,860 | 00:15:35,170 | is right through these doors waiting to marry me. | is right through these doors waiting to marry me. |
369 | 00:15:35,210 | 00:15:38,210 | I don't know how to thank you guys for getting me here. | I don't know how to thank you guys for getting me here. |
370 | 00:15:38,260 | 00:15:39,130 | Rabies shot. | Rabies shot. |
371 | 00:15:39,170 | 00:15:40,480 | We're your boyz, Klaus. | We're your boyz, Klaus. |
372 | 00:15:40,520 | 00:15:42,130 | You don't have to thank us. | You don't have to thank us. |
373 | 00:15:42,170 | 00:15:45,090 | Now, get in there and nail that interview or whatever! | Now, get in there and nail that interview or whatever! |
374 | 00:15:50,270 | 00:15:51,660 | Oh, no! | Oh, no! |
375 | 00:15:51,710 | 00:15:55,060 | They must've killed Shoshanna because we're late! | They must've killed Shoshanna because we're late! |
376 | 00:16:01,890 | 00:16:04,240 | Klaus, where's your wedding? | Klaus, where's your wedding? |
377 | 00:16:04,280 | 00:16:06,460 | There was never gonna be a wedding. | There was never gonna be a wedding. |
378 | 00:16:06,500 | 00:16:10,030 | Shoshanna dumped me six months ago. | Shoshanna dumped me six months ago. |
379 | 00:16:10,070 | 00:16:11,730 | You lied about getting married? | You lied about getting married? |
380 | 00:16:11,770 | 00:16:13,510 | Just to have a bachelor party? | Just to have a bachelor party? |
381 | 00:16:13,550 | 00:16:16,030 | No. Just to have friends. | No. Just to have friends. |
382 | 00:16:16,080 | 00:16:18,060 | How am I supposed to trick you into hanging out with me | How am I supposed to trick you into hanging out with me |
383 | 00:16:18,080 | 00:16:19,520 | if I don't lie? | if I don't lie? |
384 | 00:16:19,560 | 00:16:23,090 | But now that I've come clean, can we go out for ice cream? | But now that I've come clean, can we go out for ice cream? |
385 | 00:16:23,130 | 00:16:26,260 | It is my birthday. | It is my birthday. |
386 | 00:16:26,310 | 00:16:28,090 | Shhhh! This is a librari... | Shhhh! This is a librari... |
387 | 00:16:28,130 | 00:16:29,270 | No, it's not, it's a church. | No, it's not, it's a church. |
388 | 00:16:29,310 | 00:16:31,660 | ...ian's funeral. | ...ian's funeral. |
389 | 00:16:31,700 | 00:16:32,880 | A librarian died. | A librarian died. |
390 | 00:16:32,920 | 00:16:34,660 | Show some respect and be quiet! | Show some respect and be quiet! |
391 | 00:16:34,710 | 00:16:36,990 | A lot of people don't know this about Sheila, | A lot of people don't know this about Sheila, |
392 | 00:16:37,010 | 00:16:38,670 | but she loved books. | but she loved books. |
393 | 00:16:40,710 | 00:16:43,110 | You can't quiet the bachelor boyz! | You can't quiet the bachelor boyz! |
394 | 00:16:43,150 | 00:16:44,500 | We're not boyz, Klaus. | We're not boyz, Klaus. |
395 | 00:16:44,540 | 00:16:47,200 | We'll never be boyz with a "Z" again. | We'll never be boyz with a "Z" again. |
396 | 00:16:47,240 | 00:16:49,150 | Let's go. | Let's go. |
397 | 00:16:50,940 | 00:16:53,380 | Noooooooo! | Noooooooo! |
398 | 00:16:57,120 | 00:16:58,510 | Hey, kid. | Hey, kid. |
399 | 00:16:58,560 | 00:17:00,470 | How do we get your dad to come out of the walls? | How do we get your dad to come out of the walls? |
400 | 00:17:00,510 | 00:17:02,560 | You gotta challenge him to a dance-off. | You gotta challenge him to a dance-off. |
401 | 00:17:02,600 | 00:17:04,000 | Can I get a few minutes to stretch? | Can I get a few minutes to stretch? |
402 | 00:17:04,040 | 00:17:05,170 | Hayley, please. | Hayley, please. |
403 | 00:17:05,210 | 00:17:06,480 | Steve, go get your fireman hat. | Steve, go get your fireman hat. |
404 | 00:17:06,520 | 00:17:09,350 | Yay! Weeoo weeoo! | Yay! Weeoo weeoo! |
405 | 00:17:09,390 | 00:17:11,920 | Actually my dad has a stripper rival. | Actually my dad has a stripper rival. |
406 | 00:17:11,960 | 00:17:13,310 | His brother Todd Rod. | His brother Todd Rod. |
407 | 00:17:13,350 | 00:17:15,010 | If you get my uncle here, | If you get my uncle here, |
408 | 00:17:15,050 | 00:17:17,270 | my dad will have to come out for the dance-off. | my dad will have to come out for the dance-off. |
409 | 00:17:18,970 | 00:17:22,140 | Anybody need a hose? | Anybody need a hose? |
410 | 00:17:24,540 | 00:17:26,370 | We should have trusted our instincts | We should have trusted our instincts |
411 | 00:17:26,410 | 00:17:27,710 | about a weekend with Klaus. | about a weekend with Klaus. |
412 | 00:17:27,760 | 00:17:29,500 | I feel so duped! | I feel so duped! |
413 | 00:17:29,540 | 00:17:31,500 | Compliments of the orange gentleman. | Compliments of the orange gentleman. |
414 | 00:17:33,550 | 00:17:35,550 | Why are there four milks? | Why are there four milks? |
415 | 00:17:35,590 | 00:17:37,510 | He was hoping he could join you. | He was hoping he could join you. |
416 | 00:17:37,550 | 00:17:39,600 | And that you would pay for the milks. | And that you would pay for the milks. |
417 | 00:17:40,860 | 00:17:42,510 | No. | No. |
418 | 00:17:46,210 | 00:17:47,950 | They're gonna cook him! | They're gonna cook him! |
419 | 00:17:48,000 | 00:17:49,300 | And I'm gonna try him. | And I'm gonna try him. |
420 | 00:17:49,350 | 00:17:51,700 | No, Jeff, he's just working off the milks. | No, Jeff, he's just working off the milks. |
421 | 00:17:57,440 | 00:17:59,180 | It's a damn cartoon! | It's a damn cartoon! |
422 | 00:17:59,220 | 00:18:00,570 | I can't look at this anymore! | I can't look at this anymore! |
423 | 00:18:00,620 | 00:18:02,140 | I hate cartoons. | I hate cartoons. |
424 | 00:18:02,180 | 00:18:04,530 | They'll do anything for a laugh. | They'll do anything for a laugh. |
425 | 00:18:07,800 | 00:18:10,190 | I'll cover the bill. | I'll cover the bill. |
426 | 00:18:12,760 | 00:18:15,200 | Thanks, guys. What's up? | Thanks, guys. What's up? |
427 | 00:18:15,240 | 00:18:17,160 | What's up is you're a liar, Klaus. | What's up is you're a liar, Klaus. |
428 | 00:18:17,200 | 00:18:18,770 | Well, I'm done lying! | Well, I'm done lying! |
429 | 00:18:18,810 | 00:18:20,720 | Please, let me back in the group! | Please, let me back in the group! |
430 | 00:18:20,770 | 00:18:22,990 | I only have one week to live! | I only have one week to live! |
431 | 00:18:23,030 | 00:18:24,290 | Wait! | Wait! |
432 | 00:18:24,340 | 00:18:26,430 | You want to hear the truth? | You want to hear the truth? |
433 | 00:18:26,470 | 00:18:28,560 | I didn't invent solar panels. | I didn't invent solar panels. |
434 | 00:18:28,600 | 00:18:32,430 | My favorite flavor isn't saffron, it's mayonnaise. | My favorite flavor isn't saffron, it's mayonnaise. |
435 | 00:18:32,480 | 00:18:34,960 | I wish there was mayonnaise gum. | I wish there was mayonnaise gum. |
436 | 00:18:35,000 | 00:18:38,440 | I didn't write the Sublime song "Santeria." | I didn't write the Sublime song "Santeria." |
437 | 00:18:38,480 | 00:18:40,270 | Sublime did. | Sublime did. |
438 | 00:18:40,310 | 00:18:43,180 | When I see a child's bike unattended, I steal it. | When I see a child's bike unattended, I steal it. |
439 | 00:18:43,230 | 00:18:46,010 | I still don't know who Barack Obama is. | I still don't know who Barack Obama is. |
440 | 00:18:46,050 | 00:18:48,230 | It's okay, Klaus. Just stop. | It's okay, Klaus. Just stop. |
441 | 00:18:48,270 | 00:18:50,320 | You can't go through life lying to people. | You can't go through life lying to people. |
442 | 00:18:50,360 | 00:18:52,190 | I know! | I know! |
443 | 00:18:52,230 | 00:18:54,580 | I wasn't lying about loving the Instant Pot! | I wasn't lying about loving the Instant Pot! |
444 | 00:18:54,630 | 00:18:57,240 | But Shoshanna got to keep it in the breakup. | But Shoshanna got to keep it in the breakup. |
445 | 00:18:57,280 | 00:19:00,070 | I'll never see it again. | I'll never see it again. |
446 | 00:19:00,110 | 00:19:01,810 | Check this guy out, lyin' again. | Check this guy out, lyin' again. |
447 | 00:19:01,850 | 00:19:03,420 | Jeff and Roger, no! | Jeff and Roger, no! |
448 | 00:19:03,460 | 00:19:05,770 | You're gonna see that Instant Pot again. | You're gonna see that Instant Pot again. |
449 | 00:19:05,810 | 00:19:07,990 | 'Cause your boyz are gonna get it back. | 'Cause your boyz are gonna get it back. |
450 | 00:19:08,030 | 00:19:10,900 | You're my boyz again? | You're my boyz again? |
451 | 00:19:10,950 | 00:19:12,470 | With a "Z," my dude. | With a "Z," my dude. |
452 | 00:19:16,390 | 00:19:18,740 | Powerful stream. | Powerful stream. |
453 | 00:19:21,480 | 00:19:24,270 | You guys have one song to show us your best moves. | You guys have one song to show us your best moves. |
454 | 00:19:24,310 | 00:19:26,440 | We choose the winner, then you leave forever. | We choose the winner, then you leave forever. |
455 | 00:19:26,490 | 00:19:28,710 | We need music. | We need music. |
456 | 00:19:28,750 | 00:19:32,320 | Dance now, or I'll shoot you with my husband's guns. | Dance now, or I'll shoot you with my husband's guns. |
457 | 00:19:34,280 | 00:19:37,450 | Everybody's talking... what about Everybody's talking stuff | Everybody's talking... what about Everybody's talking stuff |
458 | 00:19:37,500 | 00:19:39,060 | Why don't... Move over. | Why don't... Move over. |
459 | 00:19:39,110 | 00:19:42,370 | Left-foot stutter step. Live... why don't... | Left-foot stutter step. Live... why don't... |
460 | 00:19:42,410 | 00:19:44,370 | In my way! Yeah. | In my way! Yeah. |
461 | 00:19:44,420 | 00:19:46,110 | Why don't people just... | Why don't people just... |
462 | 00:19:46,160 | 00:19:47,310 | Made my... Hurts, don't it? Tell your friends. | Made my... Hurts, don't it? Tell your friends. |
463 | 00:19:47,330 | 00:19:49,120 | Chillin' | Chillin' |
464 | 00:19:49,160 | 00:19:51,380 | They say I'm nasty Yeah, oh, you can't touch. | They say I'm nasty Yeah, oh, you can't touch. |
465 | 00:19:51,420 | 00:19:54,340 | Why don't they... They say I'm crazy | Why don't they... They say I'm crazy |
466 | 00:19:57,520 | 00:19:59,040 | Tell me why | Tell me why |
467 | 00:19:59,080 | 00:20:00,300 | Prerogative! Prerogative! | Prerogative! Prerogative! |
468 | 00:20:00,350 | 00:20:02,520 | My prostate. | My prostate. |
469 | 00:20:02,570 | 00:20:04,480 | Honestly, Rick was better. | Honestly, Rick was better. |
470 | 00:20:04,520 | 00:20:06,480 | Yeah, watching Rick compared to Todd | Yeah, watching Rick compared to Todd |
471 | 00:20:06,530 | 00:20:09,090 | did give me a brief tingle in my downtown tinsel town. | did give me a brief tingle in my downtown tinsel town. |
472 | 00:20:09,140 | 00:20:10,500 | I have to agree with my colleagues. | I have to agree with my colleagues. |
473 | 00:20:10,530 | 00:20:13,270 | Yes! Up yours, Todd! | Yes! Up yours, Todd! |
474 | 00:20:13,320 | 00:20:14,970 | That'll be eight dollars, ma'am. | That'll be eight dollars, ma'am. |
475 | 00:20:15,010 | 00:20:17,060 | What? You got two dancers. | What? You got two dancers. |
476 | 00:20:17,100 | 00:20:18,710 | I had to charge you double. | I had to charge you double. |
477 | 00:20:20,930 | 00:20:23,150 | Klaus, what are you doing here? | Klaus, what are you doing here? |
478 | 00:20:23,190 | 00:20:27,460 | Shoshanna, what we had was too beautiful to just throw away. | Shoshanna, what we had was too beautiful to just throw away. |
479 | 00:20:27,500 | 00:20:29,330 | I've been thinking the same thing. | I've been thinking the same thing. |
480 | 00:20:29,370 | 00:20:30,290 | Wait, really? | Wait, really? |
481 | 00:20:30,330 | 00:20:32,640 | Yes, I miss you. | Yes, I miss you. |
482 | 00:20:32,680 | 00:20:34,210 | Guys, abort! | Guys, abort! |
483 | 00:20:34,250 | 00:20:35,470 | I love you, Shoshanna! | I love you, Shoshanna! |
484 | 00:20:35,510 | 00:20:37,210 | The wedding is back on! | The wedding is back on! |
485 | 00:20:38,470 | 00:20:40,690 | I got it, Klaus! I got the Instant Pot. | I got it, Klaus! I got the Instant Pot. |
486 | 00:20:43,430 | 00:20:46,700 | You only came to get the Instant Pot? | You only came to get the Instant Pot? |
487 | 00:20:46,740 | 00:20:48,920 | Screw you, Klaus! | Screw you, Klaus! |
488 | 00:20:48,960 | 00:20:51,350 | Don't ever contact me again! | Don't ever contact me again! |
489 | 00:20:51,400 | 00:20:52,960 | No doi, he hates you. | No doi, he hates you. |
490 | 00:20:53,010 | 00:20:54,570 | No, now they're the liars! | No, now they're the liars! |
491 | 00:20:56,360 | 00:20:57,360 | Klaus's Boyz! | Klaus's Boyz! |
492 | 00:20:57,400 | 00:21:02,540 | Shoshanna! | Shoshanna! |
493 | 00:21:02,580 | 00:21:04,190 | Bye-bye! See you soon! | Bye-bye! See you soon! |