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1	00:00:41,360	00:00:43,089	Okay, stand by, everyone.	Okay, stand by, everyone.
2	00:00:44,120	00:00:47,841	Five, four, three, two...	Five, four, three, two...
3	00:00:49,960	00:00:53,407	At 52 minutes past the hour on this Thursday morning, welcome back.	At 52 minutes past the hour on this Thursday morning, welcome back.
4	00:00:53,960	00:00:56,691	Joining me now is author Bill Bryson.	Joining me now is author Bill Bryson.
5	00:00:57,240	00:00:59,288	So, travel writing.	So, travel writing.
6	00:01:01,400	00:01:02,811	I'm sorry, is that a question?	I'm sorry, is that a question?
7	00:01:03,320	00:01:06,260	Noël Coward once said, "Why do the wrong people travel,	Noël Coward once said, "Why do the wrong people travel,
8	00:01:06,360	00:01:08,169	"and the right people stay at home?"	"and the right people stay at home?"
9	00:01:10,000	00:01:13,402	Now, tell us about this Collector's Edition Box Set.	Now, tell us about this Collector's Edition Box Set.
10	00:01:13,920	00:01:16,969	"An elegant reissue of old favorites."	"An elegant reissue of old favorites."
11	00:01:17,720	00:01:18,881	Riveting stuff.	Riveting stuff.
12	00:01:19,360	00:01:23,809	Now, in your books, you've written about Europe, Australia, the British Isles.	Now, in your books, you've written about Europe, Australia, the British Isles.
13	00:01:24,040	00:01:25,485	You actually lived there briefly.	You actually lived there briefly.
14	00:01:25,840	00:01:27,330	Briefly. 10 years.	Briefly. 10 years.
15	00:01:27,680	00:01:28,841	Mmm, but never America.	Mmm, but never America.
16	00:01:29,320	00:01:31,340	You've never written about your home country.	You've never written about your home country.
17	00:01:31,440	00:01:35,001	- No, that's not exactly right... - Why? Why nothing more personal?	- No, that's not exactly right... - Why? Why nothing more personal?
18	00:01:37,040	00:01:40,806	I see. So you've moved back, or is that just temporary?	I see. So you've moved back, or is that just temporary?
19	00:01:41,360	00:01:46,366	No. Yes. My family, we moved back. To New Hampshire.	No. Yes. My family, we moved back. To New Hampshire.
20	00:01:47,720	00:01:51,441	Twenty years ago. And... And we're still here.	Twenty years ago. And... And we're still here.
21	00:01:51,720	00:01:54,769	"Still"? Interesting choice of words.	"Still"? Interesting choice of words.
22	00:01:55,800	00:01:58,100	Uh, what else are you working on? Are you writing something new?	Uh, what else are you working on? Are you writing something new?
23	00:01:58,200	00:01:59,281	No.	No.
24	00:01:59,440	00:02:01,283	Not thinking of retiring on us, are you?	Not thinking of retiring on us, are you?
25	00:02:01,600	00:02:02,940	No, writers don't retire.	No, writers don't retire.
26	00:02:03,040	00:02:06,044	We either drink ourselves to death or blow our brains out.	We either drink ourselves to death or blow our brains out.
27	00:02:06,760	00:02:07,966	And which will it be for you?	And which will it be for you?
28	00:02:08,480	00:02:10,164	After this interview, maybe both.	After this interview, maybe both.
29	00:02:11,720	00:02:14,883	- Bill Bryson, pleasure to have you with us. - Ah. Thank you.	- Bill Bryson, pleasure to have you with us. - Ah. Thank you.
30	00:02:38,920	00:02:40,285	Oh!	Oh!
31	00:02:45,760	00:02:48,684	- Oh. Hello, stranger. - Hello, yourself.	- Oh. Hello, stranger. - Hello, yourself.
32	00:02:49,240	00:02:50,446	How'd it go?	How'd it go?
33	00:02:50,840	00:02:51,921	- You saw? - Mmm-hmm.	- You saw? - Mmm-hmm.
34	00:02:53,400	00:02:54,845	- That good, huh? - Hey, Gramps.	- That good, huh? - Hey, Gramps.
35	00:02:55,120	00:02:57,043	- Hi. - I saw, too.	- Hi. - I saw, too.
36	00:02:57,280	00:02:59,282	- Oh, yeah? How'd I look? - Do you want my honest answer?	- Oh, yeah? How'd I look? - Do you want my honest answer?
37	00:03:00,240	00:03:01,401	Never mind.	Never mind.
38	00:03:01,680	00:03:05,127	- Gramps, I made it to level six. - Level six? Way to go.	- Gramps, I made it to level six. - Level six? Way to go.
39	00:03:05,280	00:03:06,850	Did you get my message about Earl McGregor?	Did you get my message about Earl McGregor?
40	00:03:07,240	00:03:08,765	Services are on Saturday morning.	Services are on Saturday morning.
41	00:03:08,880	00:03:10,006	Can't we just send flowers?	Can't we just send flowers?
42	00:03:10,880	00:03:12,006	We could.	We could.
43	00:03:12,720	00:03:16,691	You two, hands washed, dinner's nearly ready. Let's go.	You two, hands washed, dinner's nearly ready. Let's go.
44	00:03:38,200	00:03:40,726	Makes you think about slowing down, doesn't it?	Makes you think about slowing down, doesn't it?
45	00:03:46,600	00:03:48,807	I'm so, so sorry. My condolences.	I'm so, so sorry. My condolences.
46	00:03:49,680	00:03:52,260	Deborah, we're so sorry.	Deborah, we're so sorry.
47	00:03:52,360	00:03:55,921	Thank you so much for being here. It really means a lot to me.	Thank you so much for being here. It really means a lot to me.
48	00:03:56,960	00:03:58,041	It's our pleasure.	It's our pleasure.
49	00:04:01,160	00:04:03,220	- Uh, I mean, not our... - Pardon me.	- Uh, I mean, not our... - Pardon me.
50	00:04:03,320	00:04:06,688	Uh, I mean, it's, uh, not a pleasant time,	Uh, I mean, it's, uh, not a pleasant time,
51	00:04:07,760	00:04:10,684	- and it's not a time... - No, we're just very sorry.	- and it's not a time... - No, we're just very sorry.
52	00:04:11,080	00:04:12,764	- We're very sorry. - We're very sorry.	- We're very sorry. - We're very sorry.
53	00:04:17,080	00:04:19,481	- I'll get my jacket. - We just got here.	- I'll get my jacket. - We just got here.
54	00:04:20,560	00:04:23,340	What? We've already paid our respects. I mean, what else are we supposed to do?	What? We've already paid our respects. I mean, what else are we supposed to do?
55	00:04:23,440	00:04:25,681	Talk to people. It's good for you.	Talk to people. It's good for you.
56	00:04:26,920	00:04:28,729	I don't like talking to people.	I don't like talking to people.
57	00:04:29,680	00:04:30,681	Go on.	Go on.
58	00:04:31,680	00:04:33,762	How are you? How good to see you.	How are you? How good to see you.
59	00:04:52,640	00:04:54,051	I'm gonna go for a walk.	I'm gonna go for a walk.
60	00:04:54,520	00:04:55,567	Okay.	Okay.
61	00:06:29,320	00:06:30,526	What on earth?	What on earth?
62	00:06:32,680	00:06:34,569	- You want to hike it? - Yes.	- You want to hike it? - Yes.
63	00:06:35,320	00:06:36,481	Two thousand miles.	Two thousand miles.
64	00:06:36,600	00:06:38,887	2118, actually.	2118, actually.
65	00:06:39,480	00:06:41,528	No. You can't.	No. You can't.
66	00:06:43,520	00:06:44,726	Why not?	Why not?
67	00:06:44,880	00:06:48,521	Seriously, Bill. Even for you this is ridiculous.	Seriously, Bill. Even for you this is ridiculous.
68	00:06:48,920	00:06:50,900	Why? Because you think I'm too old?	Why? Because you think I'm too old?
69	00:06:51,000	00:06:53,844	No, it's not because I think you're too old, it's because you are too old.	No, it's not because I think you're too old, it's because you are too old.
70	00:06:56,800	00:06:58,643	Oh, God, is this because of the funeral?	Oh, God, is this because of the funeral?
71	00:06:58,960	00:07:00,450	- No. - What then?	- No. - What then?
72	00:07:01,440	00:07:02,487	Listen, I can't explain it.	Listen, I can't explain it.
73	00:07:03,160	00:07:04,241	Have a go.	Have a go.
74	00:07:05,200	00:07:07,328	It's just something I feel I have to do.	It's just something I feel I have to do.
75	00:07:08,240	00:07:11,210	I want to explore nature. I want to get back to my roots.	I want to explore nature. I want to get back to my roots.
76	00:07:12,400	00:07:15,324	- Roots? - Yeah. You know, push myself.	- Roots? - Yeah. You know, push myself.
77	00:07:15,640	00:07:17,244	I mean, really, really hike.	I mean, really, really hike.
78	00:07:18,680	00:07:22,526	Hike? You haven't hiked in 30 years.	Hike? You haven't hiked in 30 years.
79	00:07:23,000	00:07:25,207	- Exactly. - Can't you just do this in the Volvo?	- Exactly. - Can't you just do this in the Volvo?
80	00:07:25,440	00:07:26,521	Catherine.	Catherine.
81	00:07:27,880	00:07:29,291	What if I say you can't go?	What if I say you can't go?
82	00:07:29,680	00:07:32,763	Well, if you felt that way then we would discuss it.	Well, if you felt that way then we would discuss it.
83	00:07:32,960	00:07:35,780	You mean I'll yammer on and you'll nod away,	You mean I'll yammer on and you'll nod away,
84	00:07:35,880	00:07:38,580	and then you'll go ahead and do whatever you were going to do anyway	and then you'll go ahead and do whatever you were going to do anyway
85	00:07:38,680	00:07:40,364	without having heard a word I've said.	without having heard a word I've said.
86	00:07:42,600	00:07:44,380	What?	What?
87	00:07:44,480	00:07:45,900	Am I just supposed to stand here	Am I just supposed to stand here
88	00:07:46,000	00:07:48,970	and accept these obvious signs that you have gone mad?	and accept these obvious signs that you have gone mad?
89	00:07:49,920	00:07:52,241	It's my old pup tent. What do you think?	It's my old pup tent. What do you think?
90	00:07:55,040	00:07:57,691	Well, I think it's the perfect place for you to spend the night.	Well, I think it's the perfect place for you to spend the night.
91	00:08:00,440	00:08:03,500	You realize we all think this is a terrible idea, right?	You realize we all think this is a terrible idea, right?
92	00:08:03,600	00:08:05,100	It's certainly been brought to my attention.	It's certainly been brought to my attention.
93	00:08:05,200	00:08:07,282	- But you're still going to do it? - Yes.	- But you're still going to do it? - Yes.
94	00:08:10,440	00:08:14,240	It's just kinda insane, Dad. The whole thing, at your age?	It's just kinda insane, Dad. The whole thing, at your age?
95	00:08:14,760	00:08:17,180	Fit people in their 20's can't do it, Dad.	Fit people in their 20's can't do it, Dad.
96	00:08:17,280	00:08:19,442	It takes five months and five millions steps.	It takes five months and five millions steps.
97	00:08:19,720	00:08:20,780	- Of walking. - Yes.	- Of walking. - Yes.
98	00:08:20,880	00:08:22,370	I've been doing it for a while, you know.	I've been doing it for a while, you know.
99	00:08:22,920	00:08:24,460	Dad, hiking is not walking.	Dad, hiking is not walking.
100	00:08:24,560	00:08:27,530	Two thousand people a year try to do this. Less than 10% make it.	Two thousand people a year try to do this. Less than 10% make it.
101	00:08:28,040	00:08:31,169	You ought to see the statistics on how many people finish writing a book.	You ought to see the statistics on how many people finish writing a book.
102	00:08:31,280	00:08:33,806	There's somebody I want you to meet. All right?	There's somebody I want you to meet. All right?
103	00:08:34,040	00:08:35,246	Hey, Dave.	Hey, Dave.
104	00:08:35,960	00:08:37,007	How's it going?	How's it going?
105	00:08:37,120	00:08:38,167	This is Dave.	This is Dave.
106	00:08:38,360	00:08:39,380	- Dave. - Hello.	- Dave. - Hello.
107	00:08:39,480	00:08:41,180	He has hiked everywhere.	He has hiked everywhere.
108	00:08:41,280	00:08:43,521	He can answer any question you have about anything.	He can answer any question you have about anything.
109	00:08:44,280	00:08:47,124	Okay. Can he tell me why the caged bird sings?	Okay. Can he tell me why the caged bird sings?
110	00:08:48,760	00:08:51,764	Can you give us just a second? And can I?	Can you give us just a second? And can I?
111	00:08:54,040	00:08:56,646	Can we keep a lid on the jokes, please?	Can we keep a lid on the jokes, please?
112	00:08:57,080	00:08:59,162	Pay attention while he's talking,	Pay attention while he's talking,
113	00:08:59,280	00:09:00,860	and don't say, "You've got to be shitting me"	and don't say, "You've got to be shitting me"
114	00:09:00,960	00:09:02,100	when he tells you the price of something.	when he tells you the price of something.
115	00:09:02,200	00:09:05,044	Sam, you act like I've never camped before.	Sam, you act like I've never camped before.
116	00:09:05,280	00:09:06,486	A tent is a tent.	A tent is a tent.
117	00:09:07,080	00:09:11,660	This also has a 70 denier, high-density, abrasion-resistant fly	This also has a 70 denier, high-density, abrasion-resistant fly
118	00:09:11,760	00:09:13,330	with that same rip stop weave.	with that same rip stop weave.
119	00:09:14,040	00:09:15,405	And just look at these seams.	And just look at these seams.
120	00:09:16,320	00:09:19,529	All lap-felled. No bias taping on the whole tent.	All lap-felled. No bias taping on the whole tent.
121	00:09:19,800	00:09:23,805	And the poles. Color-coded, DAC aluminum.	And the poles. Color-coded, DAC aluminum.
122	00:09:24,440	00:09:26,442	It's the finest craftsmanship.	It's the finest craftsmanship.
123	00:09:27,040	00:09:31,648	Yeah, I've carried this one on several sections of the trail myself.	Yeah, I've carried this one on several sections of the trail myself.
124	00:09:32,880	00:09:36,282	For your purposes, cannot go wrong with this monster.	For your purposes, cannot go wrong with this monster.
125	00:09:37,600	00:09:38,820	All right, how much is it?	All right, how much is it?
126	00:09:38,920	00:09:41,366	This one here is 289.	This one here is 289.
127	00:09:42,120	00:09:45,283	You've got to be shitting... Oh, okay.	You've got to be shitting... Oh, okay.
128	00:09:45,560	00:09:49,042	I see what you're thinking, but out on the trail, you're gonna thank me.	I see what you're thinking, but out on the trail, you're gonna thank me.
129	00:09:49,240	00:09:50,446	Are you coming?	Are you coming?
130	00:09:51,200	00:09:52,940	You'll need a rain cover too, of course.	You'll need a rain cover too, of course.
131	00:09:53,040	00:09:55,700	- A rain cover? Why? - To keep out the rain.	- A rain cover? Why? - To keep out the rain.
132	00:09:55,800	00:09:59,009	- The backpacks aren't waterproof? - Not 100%.	- The backpacks aren't waterproof? - Not 100%.
133	00:09:59,240	00:10:02,260	The rain cover weighs four point six ounces.	The rain cover weighs four point six ounces.
134	00:10:02,360	00:10:05,682	You know how much weight it would add to fully waterproof an 85-liter pack?	You know how much weight it would add to fully waterproof an 85-liter pack?
135	00:10:06,480	00:10:08,642	Well, I'll tell you. It's a lot.	Well, I'll tell you. It's a lot.
136	00:10:09,680	00:10:11,364	Let's not forget...	Let's not forget...
137	00:10:12,480	00:10:15,529	Oh, let me guess, in case you want to do a little impromptu gardening?	Oh, let me guess, in case you want to do a little impromptu gardening?
138	00:10:15,640	00:10:19,281	No. You know the saying, "Take only memories, leave only footprints."	No. You know the saying, "Take only memories, leave only footprints."
139	00:10:21,920	00:10:23,046	Poop.	Poop.
140	00:10:25,520	00:10:27,682	- Oh, shit. - Exactly.	- Oh, shit. - Exactly.
141	00:10:43,160	00:10:45,766	Thought you'd find these interesting.	Thought you'd find these interesting.
142	00:10:46,680	00:10:51,260	A Virginia man's remains left undiscovered for 18 days	A Virginia man's remains left undiscovered for 18 days
143	00:10:51,360	00:10:54,140	after he suffers a catastrophic medical condition	after he suffers a catastrophic medical condition
144	00:10:54,240	00:10:56,686	just one week into his solo trek.	just one week into his solo trek.
145	00:10:57,400	00:11:02,645	Most commonly spread through infected rodent saliva, urine, and feces,	Most commonly spread through infected rodent saliva, urine, and feces,
146	00:11:02,760	00:11:04,444	which become airborne particles...	which become airborne particles...
147	00:11:04,760	00:11:08,580	Several law enforcement personnel have expressed concern	Several law enforcement personnel have expressed concern
148	00:11:08,680	00:11:11,331	about the gruesome nature of these latest murders,	about the gruesome nature of these latest murders,
149	00:11:11,440	00:11:14,410	including dismemberment and ritualistic savagery.	including dismemberment and ritualistic savagery.
150	00:11:15,240	00:11:17,561	You are not doing this alone.	You are not doing this alone.
151	00:11:17,800	00:11:18,926	This is Bryson.	This is Bryson.
152	00:11:19,760	00:11:23,162	How would you like to join me for a little stroll?	How would you like to join me for a little stroll?
153	00:11:23,560	00:11:27,087	It's a chance to grab some fresh air, while there's still some left.	It's a chance to grab some fresh air, while there's still some left.
154	00:11:27,760	00:11:30,889	You know, studies show Americans need to walk more.	You know, studies show Americans need to walk more.
155	00:11:31,360	00:11:33,249	Our forefathers, they walked everywhere.	Our forefathers, they walked everywhere.
156	00:11:33,640	00:11:35,768	It'll give you something to do for the next six months.	It'll give you something to do for the next six months.
157	00:11:36,840	00:11:38,649	Let me know if you're interested.	Let me know if you're interested.
158	00:11:40,080	00:11:42,340	Rabies, crazed skunks, raccoons, and squirrels,	Rabies, crazed skunks, raccoons, and squirrels,
159	00:11:42,440	00:11:44,568	merciless fire ants, and ravening blackfly.	merciless fire ants, and ravening blackfly.
160	00:11:44,680	00:11:46,660	Poison ivy, poison sumac, poison oak,	Poison ivy, poison sumac, poison oak,
161	00:11:46,760	00:11:48,410	poison salamanders, even a scattering of moose?	poison salamanders, even a scattering of moose?
162	00:11:49,600	00:11:51,860	Bryson, four words: Not in this lifetime.	Bryson, four words: Not in this lifetime.
163	00:11:53,080	00:11:55,780	I wish I could, Bill, but I just switched to a new beta blocker.	I wish I could, Bill, but I just switched to a new beta blocker.
164	00:11:55,880	00:11:57,980	I barely have enough energy to get dressed in the...	I barely have enough energy to get dressed in the...
165	00:11:58,080	00:11:59,940	Next time, call me for something fun.	Next time, call me for something fun.
166	00:12:00,040	00:12:01,485	Like a colonoscopy.	Like a colonoscopy.
167	00:12:01,880	00:12:03,980	Bill, I think you've been the victim of identity theft.	Bill, I think you've been the victim of identity theft.
168	00:12:04,080	00:12:06,780	I got the most ridiculous message from someone claiming...	I got the most ridiculous message from someone claiming...
169	00:12:06,880	00:12:09,963	Bill, you know you can see the whole trail online in less than four minutes?	Bill, you know you can see the whole trail online in less than four minutes?
170	00:12:10,560	00:12:14,660	You know, you can't count Dan Budge. Dying is not the same as saying no.	You know, you can't count Dan Budge. Dying is not the same as saying no.
171	00:12:18,360	00:12:20,567	Did we know about that? About Dan's death?	Did we know about that? About Dan's death?
172	00:12:21,760	00:12:24,445	Yeah, I think it was in Janice's Christmas card.	Yeah, I think it was in Janice's Christmas card.
173	00:12:26,360	00:12:29,409	Well, that explains why she was so miffed about my invitation.	Well, that explains why she was so miffed about my invitation.
174	00:12:33,120	00:12:34,167	It's in the...	It's in the...
175	00:12:40,400	00:12:42,323	Hello?	Hello?
176	00:12:43,760	00:12:44,807	Hello?	Hello?
177	00:12:44,920	00:12:46,490	Hey, it's me.	Hey, it's me.
178	00:12:46,760	00:12:47,841	I'm sorry?	I'm sorry?
179	00:12:48,480	00:12:50,482	Bryson, it's Katz.	Bryson, it's Katz.
180	00:12:51,320	00:12:53,163	- It's Katz? - Yeah.	- It's Katz? - Yeah.
181	00:12:53,360	00:12:55,249	- Stephen? - Yeah.	- Stephen? - Yeah.
182	00:12:55,600	00:12:57,045	Whoa.	Whoa.
183	00:12:58,200	00:12:59,531	You're in the States?	You're in the States?
184	00:13:00,360	00:13:01,964	Yeah, yeah. Where are you?	Yeah, yeah. Where are you?
185	00:13:02,200	00:13:05,886	I'm in Des Moines. Where the hell else would I be?	I'm in Des Moines. Where the hell else would I be?
186	00:13:06,760	00:13:08,683	Well, it's good to hear your voice.	Well, it's good to hear your voice.
187	00:13:08,960	00:13:13,284	Yeah. Hey, Doug told me about this Appalachian Trail deal of yours.	Yeah. Hey, Doug told me about this Appalachian Trail deal of yours.
188	00:13:13,520	00:13:14,851	Are you serious about that?	Are you serious about that?
189	00:13:15,360	00:13:17,169	Yes, I'm very serious.	Yes, I'm very serious.
190	00:13:18,400	00:13:20,721	You think maybe I could come with you?	You think maybe I could come with you?
191	00:13:22,560	00:13:25,291	You wanna come with me?	You wanna come with me?
192	00:13:25,920	00:13:28,820	Yeah, if it's a problem, I understand.	Yeah, if it's a problem, I understand.
193	00:13:28,920	00:13:33,847	- No, no, no, no. - I mean, I understand if you don't want me.	- No, no, no, no. - I mean, I understand if you don't want me.
194	00:13:34,240	00:13:36,242	No, why... Why wouldn't I want you?	No, why... Why wouldn't I want you?
195	00:13:36,960	00:13:40,521	Because, you know, I still owe you 600 bucks from Europe.	Because, you know, I still owe you 600 bucks from Europe.
196	00:13:41,000	00:13:43,401	Well, that was forty years ago, Stephen.	Well, that was forty years ago, Stephen.
197	00:13:43,680	00:13:46,570	Yeah, but I still intend to pay you.	Yeah, but I still intend to pay you.
198	00:13:47,200	00:13:48,565	Well, I know you're good for it.	Well, I know you're good for it.
199	00:13:48,680	00:13:50,170	Ah, great, great.	Ah, great, great.
200	00:13:50,520	00:13:52,409	So, what kind of shape you in?	So, what kind of shape you in?
201	00:13:52,600	00:13:56,241	Well, I'm in good shape. I walk everywhere these days.	Well, I'm in good shape. I walk everywhere these days.
202	00:13:56,400	00:13:57,460	Really?	Really?
203	00:13:57,560	00:14:00,140	Yeah, since the bastards took away my license.	Yeah, since the bastards took away my license.
204	00:14:02,440	00:14:03,680	Um...	Um...
205	00:14:04,200	00:14:05,964	So, how are you with bears?	So, how are you with bears?
206	00:14:06,560	00:14:09,882	Well, they haven't gotten me yet.	Well, they haven't gotten me yet.
207	00:14:10,280	00:14:14,500	Well, you know there can't be a black bear within 1,500 miles of Des Moines, Katz.	Well, you know there can't be a black bear within 1,500 miles of Des Moines, Katz.
208	00:14:14,600	00:14:18,844	That's what I'm saying, man. Those fuckers keep their distance.	That's what I'm saying, man. Those fuckers keep their distance.
209	00:14:22,280	00:14:24,020	You'll never guess who just gave me a call.	You'll never guess who just gave me a call.
210	00:14:24,120	00:14:26,487	No, no, no. Not Stephen Katz.	No, no, no. Not Stephen Katz.
211	00:14:27,320	00:14:28,500	Mmm-mmm.	Mmm-mmm.
212	00:14:28,600	00:14:30,523	You said I couldn't go alone.	You said I couldn't go alone.
213	00:14:30,680	00:14:33,923	Well, presuming you were going to get somebody responsible.	Well, presuming you were going to get somebody responsible.
214	00:14:34,440	00:14:35,500	You don't even know him.	You don't even know him.
215	00:14:35,600	00:14:37,967	Well, I know the stories. Didn't he have a drinking problem?	Well, I know the stories. Didn't he have a drinking problem?
216	00:14:38,080	00:14:39,100	We all had drinking problems.	We all had drinking problems.
217	00:14:39,200	00:14:41,020	Well, you two ended up on each other's nerves in Europe.	Well, you two ended up on each other's nerves in Europe.
218	00:14:41,120	00:14:43,805	No, no, no, no. We started out on each other's nerves.	No, no, no, no. We started out on each other's nerves.
219	00:14:44,480	00:14:45,970	We ended up despising each other.	We ended up despising each other.
220	00:14:48,560	00:14:50,562	You know I hate this, right?	You know I hate this, right?
221	00:14:50,760	00:14:53,604	Sweetheart, I really don't think you have anything to worry about.	Sweetheart, I really don't think you have anything to worry about.
222	00:14:53,800	00:14:56,220	No. Just my husband wandering off into the woods,	No. Just my husband wandering off into the woods,
223	00:14:56,320	00:14:58,527	surely to be maimed or killed	surely to be maimed or killed
224	00:14:58,680	00:15:01,843	or contract some ghastly parasitic disease which,	or contract some ghastly parasitic disease which,
225	00:15:01,960	00:15:05,328	if lucky, will leave him propped up in a chair, drooling into his own bib.	if lucky, will leave him propped up in a chair, drooling into his own bib.
226	00:15:05,560	00:15:07,100	But there's nothing to worry about, because of course	But there's nothing to worry about, because of course
227	00:15:07,200	00:15:10,340	I'll be the one expected to stand by your side, feeding you ice chips	I'll be the one expected to stand by your side, feeding you ice chips
228	00:15:10,440	00:15:14,650	until you capitulate to this unnamed malady, and then what?	until you capitulate to this unnamed malady, and then what?
229	00:15:15,800	00:15:18,406	I get to stand in front of some gaudy church saying,	I get to stand in front of some gaudy church saying,
230	00:15:18,520	00:15:20,887	"He was a loving husband and father,	"He was a loving husband and father,
231	00:15:21,640	00:15:24,060	"once considered to be a man of reasonable intelligence,	"once considered to be a man of reasonable intelligence,
232	00:15:24,160	00:15:25,889	"since revealed to be nothing more	"since revealed to be nothing more
233	00:15:26,680	00:15:28,620	"than a daft and utter fool."	"than a daft and utter fool."
234	00:15:28,720	00:15:30,563	Well, it's a shame I won't be there to hear it.	Well, it's a shame I won't be there to hear it.
235	00:15:33,200	00:15:35,362	Look, I know what this seems like, okay?	Look, I know what this seems like, okay?
236	00:15:35,480	00:15:37,482	Have you actually thought this through at all?	Have you actually thought this through at all?
237	00:15:38,520	00:15:39,726	Of course not.	Of course not.
238	00:15:49,360	00:15:52,887	Lebanon Airport welcomes Cape Air Flight 106.	Lebanon Airport welcomes Cape Air Flight 106.
239	00:15:53,000	00:15:54,900	Travelers arriving from Springfield	Travelers arriving from Springfield
240	00:15:55,000	00:15:57,844	can claim their baggage at Baggage Claim Carousel Four.	can claim their baggage at Baggage Claim Carousel Four.
241	00:16:15,760	00:16:17,205	You are shitting me.	You are shitting me.
242	00:16:25,240	00:16:26,924	- Hey, Stephen. - Bryson.	- Hey, Stephen. - Bryson.
243	00:16:28,400	00:16:29,731	How are you?	How are you?
244	00:16:32,080	00:16:33,300	Hello, Steve-o.	Hello, Steve-o.
245	00:16:33,400	00:16:34,561	This is my wife.	This is my wife.
246	00:16:35,400	00:16:38,404	You're the British nurse I've heard so much about.	You're the British nurse I've heard so much about.
247	00:16:38,800	00:16:40,290	- I certainly hope so. - Yeah.	- I certainly hope so. - Yeah.
248	00:16:40,600	00:16:41,761	Good to meet you.	Good to meet you.
249	00:16:43,400	00:16:45,243	That's a little bit like a bear hug.	That's a little bit like a bear hug.
250	00:16:45,760	00:16:46,761	Are you limping?	Are you limping?
251	00:16:47,640	00:16:51,929	Oh, that's a titanium knee, and this one's a trick knee, you know.	Oh, that's a titanium knee, and this one's a trick knee, you know.
252	00:16:52,440	00:16:54,920	- Oh. - Let me see, I've got to get...	- Oh. - Let me see, I've got to get...
253	00:17:05,200	00:17:08,886	I gotta eat every hour or so, otherwise I get these, uh...	I gotta eat every hour or so, otherwise I get these, uh...
254	00:17:09,600	00:17:11,807	- What, episodes? - No, no, they're...	- What, episodes? - No, no, they're...
255	00:17:12,040	00:17:13,849	- Seizures? - Seizures, that's right.	- Seizures? - Seizures, that's right.
256	00:17:14,120	00:17:15,281	- You get seizures? - Mmm-hmm.	- You get seizures? - Mmm-hmm.
257	00:17:15,440	00:17:21,049	Yeah. You know, I ate some contaminated phenethylamines about 10 years ago,	Yeah. You know, I ate some contaminated phenethylamines about 10 years ago,
258	00:17:22,360	00:17:24,647	and it totally jacked up my system, you know.	and it totally jacked up my system, you know.
259	00:17:25,120	00:17:27,851	- I thought you said you were in shape? - I am.	- I thought you said you were in shape? - I am.
260	00:17:28,640	00:17:31,484	So the two of them take off on a motorbike	So the two of them take off on a motorbike
261	00:17:31,840	00:17:36,641	and we have no choice but to hitchhike all the way back to San Sebastián.	and we have no choice but to hitchhike all the way back to San Sebastián.
262	00:17:36,920	00:17:40,163	We go into the first pub, and boom, there they are.	We go into the first pub, and boom, there they are.
263	00:17:40,480	00:17:43,100	So, six hours later we stumble out to the beach,	So, six hours later we stumble out to the beach,
264	00:17:43,200	00:17:46,220	and Bryson insists on having the pretty girl,	and Bryson insists on having the pretty girl,
265	00:17:46,320	00:17:47,481	- of course, the redhead. - Ooh.	- of course, the redhead. - Ooh.
266	00:17:47,840	00:17:51,287	And I get the horse-faced blonde, you know.	And I get the horse-faced blonde, you know.
267	00:17:52,000	00:17:53,126	Uh, Bryson!	Uh, Bryson!
268	00:17:53,520	00:17:57,206	I can't believe... Come on, sit.	I can't believe... Come on, sit.
269	00:17:57,520	00:18:00,888	I can't believe you never told Cathy about Spain.	I can't believe you never told Cathy about Spain.
270	00:18:01,200	00:18:02,326	Oh, it must have slipped my mind.	Oh, it must have slipped my mind.
271	00:18:02,640	00:18:04,324	Hmm, I wonder why?	Hmm, I wonder why?
272	00:18:04,520	00:18:07,205	Anyway, the next day we're on a train to Madrid.	Anyway, the next day we're on a train to Madrid.
273	00:18:07,640	00:18:10,140	Bryson goes to the head and I don't pay any attention to it,	Bryson goes to the head and I don't pay any attention to it,
274	00:18:10,240	00:18:12,004	and he's in there a long time.	and he's in there a long time.
275	00:18:12,120	00:18:15,580	Finally, I look up, and he's coming out toward the seat	Finally, I look up, and he's coming out toward the seat
276	00:18:15,680	00:18:17,489	and he's just scratching and scratching...	and he's just scratching and scratching...
277	00:18:17,880	00:18:19,370	Got it. Got it.	Got it. Got it.
278	00:18:20,000	00:18:22,580	I said to him, "Hey, Bryson, what's going on?"	I said to him, "Hey, Bryson, what's going on?"
279	00:18:22,680	00:18:25,684	And he says, "Next time you can have the red-head."	And he says, "Next time you can have the red-head."
280	00:18:29,080	00:18:31,180	- Is there a picture of the red-head? - I think so.	- Is there a picture of the red-head? - I think so.
281	00:18:31,280	00:18:33,100	I'd like to see the redhead. I'd love to see the red-head.	I'd like to see the redhead. I'd love to see the red-head.
282	00:18:33,200	00:18:35,060	- That's a really great story. - She's not in here.	- That's a really great story. - She's not in here.
283	00:18:35,160	00:18:37,340	- Thank you for sharing that with my family. - Where is she?	- Thank you for sharing that with my family. - Where is she?
284	00:18:37,440	00:18:38,930	Well, I have more of them, Bryson.	Well, I have more of them, Bryson.
285	00:18:39,120	00:18:40,281	No, no, that's great.	No, no, that's great.
286	00:18:40,400	00:18:42,971	- No, no, I think we should have a few more. - All right.	- No, no, I think we should have a few more. - All right.
287	00:18:43,520	00:18:45,940	We were in Nice, and Bryson goes to this	We were in Nice, and Bryson goes to this
288	00:18:46,040	00:18:49,044	very famous hotel there called The Mayflower...	very famous hotel there called The Mayflower...
289	00:19:15,640	00:19:17,688	Mmm, the Cubbies.	Mmm, the Cubbies.
290	00:19:49,600	00:19:51,568	Oh, decomposed.	Oh, decomposed.
291	00:19:56,000	00:19:57,411	Oh, my God.	Oh, my God.
292	00:20:37,000	00:20:38,126	You still playing that thing?	You still playing that thing?
293	00:20:39,160	00:20:42,528	Oh, yeah. Not good, but I'm playing.	Oh, yeah. Not good, but I'm playing.
294	00:20:43,040	00:20:44,929	How about you, still playing the drums?	How about you, still playing the drums?
295	00:20:45,120	00:20:46,690	Oh, God, no. I gave that up years ago.	Oh, God, no. I gave that up years ago.
296	00:20:47,120	00:20:48,406	Oh.	Oh.
297	00:20:48,880	00:20:50,166	Is that your daughter?	Is that your daughter?
298	00:20:51,120	00:20:54,169	- Yeah. - Takes after her mother. Lucky break there.	- Yeah. - Takes after her mother. Lucky break there.
299	00:20:56,520	00:21:00,650	- How many grandchildren in all? - Three, and another one on the way.	- How many grandchildren in all? - Three, and another one on the way.
300	00:21:01,040	00:21:03,247	You really pulled it off, Bryson.	You really pulled it off, Bryson.
301	00:21:03,640	00:21:04,641	You know?	You know?
302	00:21:05,000	00:21:08,368	No, I mean that. I'm happy for you.	No, I mean that. I'm happy for you.
303	00:21:11,200	00:21:13,965	Well, how about you, Stephen? You... You been okay?	Well, how about you, Stephen? You... You been okay?
304	00:21:14,160	00:21:16,128	Me? Oh, hell, yeah.	Me? Oh, hell, yeah.
305	00:21:17,080	00:21:19,620	I spent half my life getting drunk, chasing pussy.	I spent half my life getting drunk, chasing pussy.
306	00:21:19,720	00:21:22,371	The other half I wasted.	The other half I wasted.
307	00:21:26,520	00:21:29,524	- Have you seen these things? - Yeah.	- Have you seen these things? - Yeah.
308	00:21:32,040	00:21:33,041	Fucked.	Fucked.
309	00:21:33,560	00:21:38,168	Hey, you know, everyone thinks we're going to go onto that trail	Hey, you know, everyone thinks we're going to go onto that trail
310	00:21:38,320	00:21:40,766	and quit after a week, like most people do.	and quit after a week, like most people do.
311	00:21:42,200	00:21:44,248	We're not most people, Bryson.	We're not most people, Bryson.
312	00:21:45,840	00:21:47,968	No. No, we're not.	No. No, we're not.
313	00:21:51,240	00:21:53,242	- So, good night. - Good night.	- So, good night. - Good night.
314	00:22:01,240	00:22:02,366	All right then.	All right then.
315	00:22:02,480	00:22:05,086	- Thank you, Mrs. Bryson. Bye. - You're welcome. Good luck.	- Thank you, Mrs. Bryson. Bye. - You're welcome. Good luck.
316	00:22:05,800	00:22:08,041	I'll meet you inside. Right?	I'll meet you inside. Right?
317	00:22:18,760	00:22:20,922	- I will miss you, you know. - I hope so.	- I will miss you, you know. - I hope so.
318	00:22:27,080	00:22:29,765	I just want to go on the record one last time	I just want to go on the record one last time
319	00:22:30,920	00:22:32,570	and say, I do love you.	and say, I do love you.
320	00:22:37,040	00:22:38,644	Try not to die, okay?	Try not to die, okay?
321	00:22:40,120	00:22:41,281	I'll do my best.	I'll do my best.
322	00:22:43,680	00:22:45,330	Go on. Bugger off.	Go on. Bugger off.
323	00:23:06,320	00:23:09,210	I remember this one guy that I picked up. He came off the Trail.	I remember this one guy that I picked up. He came off the Trail.
324	00:23:09,320	00:23:11,209	He's not like you guys, a lot younger.	He's not like you guys, a lot younger.
325	00:23:11,520	00:23:13,682	He got back there and just started crying.	He got back there and just started crying.
326	00:23:14,240	00:23:16,607	I'm serious. Cried all the way back to Atlanta.	I'm serious. Cried all the way back to Atlanta.
327	00:23:17,480	00:23:19,448	Sat back there whimpering like a child.	Sat back there whimpering like a child.
328	00:23:20,960	00:23:22,220	When you drop people off,	When you drop people off,
329	00:23:22,320	00:23:24,607	can you tell whether they're going to make it or not?	can you tell whether they're going to make it or not?
330	00:23:25,400	00:23:27,164	Oh. Yes, sir, yes, sir. Every time, pretty near.	Oh. Yes, sir, yes, sir. Every time, pretty near.
331	00:23:29,320	00:23:30,560	How about us?	How about us?
332	00:23:33,040	00:23:34,690	Oh, well, here we are.	Oh, well, here we are.
333	00:23:44,800	00:23:46,006	Thank you.	Thank you.
334	00:24:01,120	00:24:03,521	- Here you go. - Okay.	- Here you go. - Okay.
335	00:24:04,240	00:24:05,446	- Breakfast at seven. - Seven.	- Breakfast at seven. - Seven.
336	00:24:05,560	00:24:07,050	- Yeah. Okay. - Okay.	- Yeah. Okay. - Okay.
337	00:24:28,560	00:24:30,642	I hope you don't mind my saying,	I hope you don't mind my saying,
338	00:24:30,880	00:24:34,646	but these are about the best damn pancakes I ever had.	but these are about the best damn pancakes I ever had.
339	00:24:34,880	00:24:38,885	Is that right? Well, I like a man who appreciates his pancakes.	Is that right? Well, I like a man who appreciates his pancakes.
340	00:24:39,120	00:24:41,248	Well, I sure do appreciate these, honey.	Well, I sure do appreciate these, honey.
341	00:24:42,280	00:24:44,089	- Would you like some coffee? - Yeah.	- Would you like some coffee? - Yeah.
342	00:24:45,080	00:24:46,605	And I'll get you a menu.	And I'll get you a menu.
343	00:24:47,240	00:24:48,571	No, no, I've already eaten. Thanks.	No, no, I've already eaten. Thanks.
344	00:24:50,960	00:24:52,246	Not bad looking, huh?	Not bad looking, huh?
345	00:24:53,400	00:24:54,606	That depends.	That depends.
346	00:24:55,400	00:24:58,085	You know what I look for in a female these days?	You know what I look for in a female these days?
347	00:24:59,120	00:25:01,122	A heartbeat and a full set of limbs.	A heartbeat and a full set of limbs.
348	00:25:02,080	00:25:04,048	Well, most people lower their standards as they age.	Well, most people lower their standards as they age.
349	00:25:04,160	00:25:06,208	- Yeah? - You've actually raised yours.	- Yeah? - You've actually raised yours.
350	00:25:08,960	00:25:10,530	You know, Bryson, I've been thinking.	You know, Bryson, I've been thinking.
351	00:25:11,760	00:25:13,489	Let's stay here another night.	Let's stay here another night.
352	00:25:16,320	00:25:19,927	- You kidding? - No. No. It is cold outside.	- You kidding? - No. No. It is cold outside.
353	00:25:20,240	00:25:21,401	It's warm in here.	It's warm in here.
354	00:25:24,120	00:25:26,566	- I am going. - Wait a minute.	- I am going. - Wait a minute.
355	00:25:29,440	00:25:31,568	We go. We go.	We go. We go.
356	00:25:36,280	00:25:39,124	Hey, hang on. I'd like to say a few words if you don't mind.	Hey, hang on. I'd like to say a few words if you don't mind.
357	00:25:39,800	00:25:40,801	All right.	All right.
358	00:25:42,640	00:25:46,620	- I don't want to reach for metaphors, but... - No, reach, Bryson, reach.	- I don't want to reach for metaphors, but... - No, reach, Bryson, reach.
359	00:25:46,720	00:25:48,848	Well, they say the Appalachian Trail is like life.	Well, they say the Appalachian Trail is like life.
360	00:25:49,080	00:25:50,020	Uh-huh.	Uh-huh.
361	00:25:50,120	00:25:52,540	You don't know what's ahead, you don't know what's going to happen next,	You don't know what's ahead, you don't know what's going to happen next,
362	00:25:52,640	00:25:54,130	but you give it your best shot.	but you give it your best shot.
363	00:25:54,360	00:25:55,407	Your best...	Your best...
364	00:25:56,200	00:25:57,611	So, on that note...	So, on that note...
365	00:25:58,320	00:25:59,970	- We go? - We go.	- We go? - We go.
366	00:26:00,520	00:26:01,521	All right.	All right.
367	00:26:20,560	00:26:21,766	You keeping up?	You keeping up?
368	00:26:22,680	00:26:24,330	Yeah. Keeping up.	Yeah. Keeping up.
369	00:26:33,880	00:26:35,564	Are we hiking or strolling?	Are we hiking or strolling?
370	00:26:36,000	00:26:37,445	What, is this a race?	What, is this a race?
371	00:26:38,320	00:26:40,004	We're trying to do 11 miles.	We're trying to do 11 miles.
372	00:26:40,240	00:26:44,060	Slow and steady, pal. You wanna burn out your legs, go ahead.	Slow and steady, pal. You wanna burn out your legs, go ahead.
373	00:26:45,240	00:26:48,210	- Just be nice to get there before midnight. - Yeah, well.	- Just be nice to get there before midnight. - Yeah, well.
374	00:26:50,200	00:26:52,965	That would be nice.	That would be nice.
375	00:26:53,320	00:26:55,243	Go ahead. Help yourselves.	Go ahead. Help yourselves.
376	00:26:56,800	00:26:58,040	Oh, jeez.	Oh, jeez.
377	00:27:02,360	00:27:05,204	Okay, complete the following sentence.	Okay, complete the following sentence.
378	00:27:05,880	00:27:08,884	What goes up must come	What goes up must come
379	00:27:09,680	00:27:10,966	down.	down.
380	00:27:11,400	00:27:14,768	What the hell happened to down? It can't be uphill all the way to Maine.	What the hell happened to down? It can't be uphill all the way to Maine.
381	00:27:16,200	00:27:17,531	Coming through.	Coming through.
382	00:27:18,520	00:27:19,660	Oh, my God. All right.	Oh, my God. All right.
383	00:27:19,760	00:27:21,410	- What's up? - Not much.	- What's up? - Not much.
384	00:27:21,600	00:27:23,460	- Beautiful day. - Yeah, it sure is.	- Beautiful day. - Yeah, it sure is.
385	00:27:23,560	00:27:24,891	- Excuse me. - Okay.	- Excuse me. - Okay.
386	00:27:27,880	00:27:29,166	Little fuckers.	Little fuckers.
387	00:27:30,040	00:27:31,326	It's just over the hill, guys.	It's just over the hill, guys.
388	00:27:48,560	00:27:49,660	- Boy. - You okay?	- Boy. - You okay?
389	00:27:49,760	00:27:51,603	Yeah. I almost fell off the log.	Yeah. I almost fell off the log.
390	00:27:59,200	00:28:01,089	How far do you figure we've gone?	How far do you figure we've gone?
391	00:28:04,640	00:28:06,244	Oh, about a quarter of a mile.	Oh, about a quarter of a mile.
392	00:28:06,480	00:28:08,164	Motherfuck.	Motherfuck.
393	00:28:09,440	00:28:11,380	We're going already?	We're going already?
394	00:28:22,560	00:28:23,860	Just kill me now.	Just kill me now.
395	00:28:23,960	00:28:28,170	I don't care how you do it, but please, just kill me now.	I don't care how you do it, but please, just kill me now.
396	00:28:53,000	00:28:55,321	What, that's it? No dinner?	What, that's it? No dinner?
397	00:29:28,000	00:29:29,161	Hiya.	Hiya.
398	00:29:35,200	00:29:37,885	- You remember the Randall Farm? - Of course.	- You remember the Randall Farm? - Of course.
399	00:29:38,680	00:29:40,250	Super-Walmart now.	Super-Walmart now.
400	00:29:40,600	00:29:41,681	Christ.	Christ.
401	00:29:43,240	00:29:45,083	The old drive-in theater?	The old drive-in theater?
402	00:29:45,520	00:29:47,488	Don't tell me.	Don't tell me.
403	00:29:47,880	00:29:50,531	- Subaru dealership now. - No.	- Subaru dealership now. - No.
404	00:29:50,880	00:29:53,042	Yeah. I got my first blowjob there.	Yeah. I got my first blowjob there.
405	00:29:53,280	00:29:55,044	In the Subaru dealership?	In the Subaru dealership?
406	00:29:56,080	00:29:58,208	Bit of a late bloomer, huh?	Bit of a late bloomer, huh?
407	00:29:59,520	00:30:03,206	I bumped into Jimmy Duncan a few weeks back.	I bumped into Jimmy Duncan a few weeks back.
408	00:30:03,560	00:30:04,860	You remember him?	You remember him?
409	00:30:04,960	00:30:07,691	Yeah. His mom worked at the library?	Yeah. His mom worked at the library?
410	00:30:08,000	00:30:10,002	'Course you remember his mom.	'Course you remember his mom.
411	00:30:10,120	00:30:11,451	Yeah, she was nice.	Yeah, she was nice.
412	00:30:12,360	00:30:14,044	And she didn't own a bra.	And she didn't own a bra.
413	00:30:14,400	00:30:17,324	Well, if she did, she never wore it.	Well, if she did, she never wore it.
414	00:30:18,000	00:30:20,685	Man, I loved that library.	Man, I loved that library.
415	00:30:31,160	00:30:33,766	- Hey, Bryson? - Yeah?	- Hey, Bryson? - Yeah?
416	00:30:34,720	00:30:38,361	Have you really kept in touch with Doug Glawinski all these years?	Have you really kept in touch with Doug Glawinski all these years?
417	00:30:39,480	00:30:42,529	No, not at all. Why?	No, not at all. Why?
418	00:30:44,360	00:30:47,330	You invited him, so I was just curious.	You invited him, so I was just curious.
419	00:30:48,320	00:30:51,660	Well, yeah. I invited everyone I could think of.	Well, yeah. I invited everyone I could think of.
420	00:30:51,760	00:30:53,762	No, not everyone.	No, not everyone.
421	00:30:54,680	00:30:56,091	I heard about it from Doug.	I heard about it from Doug.
422	00:30:57,600	00:30:59,409	I don't think I had your number.	I don't think I had your number.
423	00:30:59,640	00:31:01,165	You had Doug's number?	You had Doug's number?
424	00:31:02,280	00:31:06,251	Well, if it makes you feel any better, I really don't like Doug.	Well, if it makes you feel any better, I really don't like Doug.
425	00:31:06,520	00:31:08,921	Well, I don't blame you.	Well, I don't blame you.
426	00:31:10,960	00:31:13,964	I'm not sure how that's supposed to make me feel better, though.	I'm not sure how that's supposed to make me feel better, though.
427	00:31:15,080	00:31:16,127	Yeah.	Yeah.
428	00:31:16,600	00:31:18,921	I guess I really didn't think that through.	I guess I really didn't think that through.
429	00:31:20,120	00:31:21,281	Good night.	Good night.
430	00:31:22,640	00:31:23,721	Good night.	Good night.
431	00:31:51,280	00:31:52,611	You burying your shit?	You burying your shit?
432	00:31:56,040	00:31:57,087	Yes.	Yes.
433	00:31:57,320	00:31:59,561	- In the woods? - Yeah.	- In the woods? - Yeah.
434	00:32:00,960	00:32:03,645	Oh, Bryson, I've missed you.	Oh, Bryson, I've missed you.
435	00:32:05,000	00:32:07,367	Thank you.	Thank you.
436	00:32:08,160	00:32:10,527	Can't wait to read about this in the book.	Can't wait to read about this in the book.
437	00:32:10,840	00:32:12,001	I'm not writing a book.	I'm not writing a book.
438	00:32:31,520	00:32:32,806	Hi.	Hi.
439	00:32:33,560	00:32:34,891	You guys camping here?	You guys camping here?
440	00:32:36,600	00:32:37,726	No, we live here.	No, we live here.
441	00:32:40,760	00:32:42,091	What are you guys eating?	What are you guys eating?
442	00:32:42,560	00:32:44,722	Noodles? Ugh, big mistake.	Noodles? Ugh, big mistake.
443	00:32:45,040	00:32:48,522	Noodles have got, like, no energy in them. I mean, like, zero.	Noodles have got, like, no energy in them. I mean, like, zero.
444	00:32:49,200	00:32:52,249	I'm Mary Ellen. Is that your tent?	I'm Mary Ellen. Is that your tent?
445	00:32:53,560	00:32:54,607	Yeah.	Yeah.
446	00:32:55,560	00:32:57,289	Oh, big mistake.	Oh, big mistake.
447	00:32:57,720	00:33:00,380	They must have seen you coming at the camping store.	They must have seen you coming at the camping store.
448	00:33:00,480	00:33:02,926	- How much did you pay for it? - I don't remember.	- How much did you pay for it? - I don't remember.
449	00:33:03,080	00:33:05,970	Too much. That's how much.	Too much. That's how much.
450	00:33:06,400	00:33:08,607	Shoulda got a three-season tent, my friend.	Shoulda got a three-season tent, my friend.
451	00:33:09,040	00:33:10,565	It is a three-season tent.	It is a three-season tent.
452	00:33:10,920	00:33:14,561	Pardon me for saying so, but it is, like, seriously dumb	Pardon me for saying so, but it is, like, seriously dumb
453	00:33:14,680	00:33:17,923	to come out here in March without a three-season tent.	to come out here in March without a three-season tent.
454	00:33:18,080	00:33:21,084	It's April. And it is a three-season tent.	It's April. And it is a three-season tent.
455	00:33:22,240	00:33:23,924	That's a three-season tent.	That's a three-season tent.
456	00:33:24,080	00:33:27,084	No, no. Those are both three-season tents.	No, no. Those are both three-season tents.
457	00:33:28,160	00:33:30,367	No. I don't think so.	No. I don't think so.
458	00:33:33,920	00:33:36,048	How many miles did you guys do today?	How many miles did you guys do today?
459	00:33:36,720	00:33:37,801	Around 10.	Around 10.
460	00:33:38,280	00:33:41,443	Ten? Oh, you must be really out of shape.	Ten? Oh, you must be really out of shape.
461	00:33:42,080	00:33:45,050	I did fourteen-two. Started at Gooch Gap.	I did fourteen-two. Started at Gooch Gap.
462	00:33:45,440	00:33:48,330	Well, so did we. And it's eight point four.	Well, so did we. And it's eight point four.
463	00:33:49,680	00:33:52,126	- No. - It is. It's eight point four.	- No. - It is. It's eight point four.
464	00:33:53,080	00:33:56,801	Excuse me. But I think I ought to know. I just walked it.	Excuse me. But I think I ought to know. I just walked it.
465	00:33:57,160	00:34:00,130	So did we. And it's eight point four.	So did we. And it's eight point four.
466	00:34:01,440	00:34:02,726	Tomato, tomahto.	Tomato, tomahto.
467	00:34:03,800	00:34:05,290	You know what your problem is?	You know what your problem is?
468	00:34:06,240	00:34:07,366	You're too fat.	You're too fat.
469	00:34:08,480	00:34:09,481	Excuse me?	Excuse me?
470	00:34:09,680	00:34:12,380	You should have dropped some of that tonnage before you hit the trailhead.	You should have dropped some of that tonnage before you hit the trailhead.
471	00:34:12,480	00:34:15,962	I mean, you're liable to have some sort of serious heart thing out here.	I mean, you're liable to have some sort of serious heart thing out here.
472	00:34:18,640	00:34:22,884	And so I just walk alone, because everybody I know is boring.	And so I just walk alone, because everybody I know is boring.
473	00:34:23,000	00:34:26,368	I'm the only person I know who doesn't bore myself to death.	I'm the only person I know who doesn't bore myself to death.
474	00:34:26,840	00:34:28,420	Also, if I walked with someone else,	Also, if I walked with someone else,
475	00:34:28,520	00:34:32,220	I'd have to watch them make, you know, mistake after mistake after mistake,	I'd have to watch them make, you know, mistake after mistake after mistake,
476	00:34:32,320	00:34:36,780	and I'd go crazy, and then I'd not be sane on the trail, you know?	and I'd go crazy, and then I'd not be sane on the trail, you know?
477	00:34:36,880	00:34:39,565	I was like, "Mary Ellen, who's the only person you know	I was like, "Mary Ellen, who's the only person you know
478	00:34:39,680	00:34:41,648	"who doesn't mess up?" and it's like, me.	"who doesn't mess up?" and it's like, me.
479	00:34:42,600	00:34:44,660	I went through this person, it was, like, dumb.	I went through this person, it was, like, dumb.
480	00:34:44,760	00:34:48,207	That person, boring. This person, dumb. Dumb, dumb. Boring, boring.	That person, boring. This person, dumb. Dumb, dumb. Boring, boring.
481	00:34:48,440	00:34:50,602	I know what you're thinking. I'm not married.	I know what you're thinking. I'm not married.
482	00:34:50,840	00:34:51,900	I wonder why?	I wonder why?
483	00:34:52,000	00:34:57,006	Well, I do have a boyfriend, but he's in Florida and he's in prison.	Well, I do have a boyfriend, but he's in Florida and he's in prison.
484	00:34:57,440	00:34:59,380	I wouldn't hike with him even if he wasn't	I wouldn't hike with him even if he wasn't
485	00:34:59,480	00:35:02,723	because you can't trust a convict, and he's dumb.	because you can't trust a convict, and he's dumb.
486	00:35:03,040	00:35:04,769	And boring, actually.	And boring, actually.
487	00:35:05,360	00:35:08,569	What's your star sign? I bet you're a Gemini, aren't you?	What's your star sign? I bet you're a Gemini, aren't you?
488	00:35:08,680	00:35:10,842	Ah, I'm really good at this. I have a gift.	Ah, I'm really good at this. I have a gift.
489	00:35:10,960	00:35:13,361	- No, I'm not a Gemini. - I think you are.	- No, I'm not a Gemini. - I think you are.
490	00:35:14,200	00:35:15,531	Actually, I'm a Leo.	Actually, I'm a Leo.
491	00:35:15,640	00:35:17,881	I don't think so. I'm really good at this.	I don't think so. I'm really good at this.
492	00:35:18,960	00:35:20,260	I was born in August.	I was born in August.
493	00:35:20,360	00:35:22,203	Mmm, check your birth certificate.	Mmm, check your birth certificate.
494	00:35:22,480	00:35:24,847	And you? You're a Libra.	And you? You're a Libra.
495	00:35:25,040	00:35:27,725	Definitely a Libra. I could make a living doing this.	Definitely a Libra. I could make a living doing this.
496	00:35:28,240	00:35:30,891	You're zero for two, honey. Zero for two.	You're zero for two, honey. Zero for two.
497	00:35:31,040	00:35:32,565	Can you guys guess what I am?	Can you guys guess what I am?
498	00:35:32,760	00:35:34,728	- Couple of thoughts come to mind. - Yeah?	- Couple of thoughts come to mind. - Yeah?
499	00:35:35,400	00:35:37,380	She's up all night to the sun	She's up all night to the sun
500	00:35:37,480	00:35:39,540	I'm up all night to get some	I'm up all night to get some
501	00:35:39,640	00:35:41,620	She's up all night for good fun	She's up all night for good fun
502	00:35:41,720	00:35:43,245	We're up all night to get lucky	We're up all night to get lucky
503	00:35:46,920	00:35:48,081	Fuck.	Fuck.
504	00:35:50,880	00:35:52,848	God damn it. Damn it!	God damn it. Damn it!
505	00:35:59,640	00:36:02,484	I swear to God I'm gonna rip her larynx out.	I swear to God I'm gonna rip her larynx out.
506	00:36:03,880	00:36:06,850	I'm not sure that's going to do it. I got a better plan.	I'm not sure that's going to do it. I got a better plan.
507	00:36:07,000	00:36:08,220	Go on, lay it on me.	Go on, lay it on me.
508	00:36:08,320	00:36:11,563	Okay, according to the map, we get to Hiawassee tomorrow.	Okay, according to the map, we get to Hiawassee tomorrow.
509	00:36:11,880	00:36:15,441	We get an early start and we hike hard, we can put some distance between us.	We get an early start and we hike hard, we can put some distance between us.
510	00:36:16,080	00:36:17,730	Yeah, that's probably better than my plan.	Yeah, that's probably better than my plan.
511	00:36:18,040	00:36:19,087	What's your plan?	What's your plan?
512	00:36:19,280	00:36:21,123	Kill her. Take her Pop-tarts.	Kill her. Take her Pop-tarts.
513	00:36:27,720	00:36:29,722	- Hey, good morning. - Good morning.	- Hey, good morning. - Good morning.
514	00:36:31,600	00:36:32,601	You guys heading out?	You guys heading out?
515	00:36:33,400	00:36:35,289	Yeah. You want us to wait for you?	Yeah. You want us to wait for you?
516	00:36:35,440	00:36:36,441	Yeah, we'll wait.	Yeah, we'll wait.
517	00:36:36,960	00:36:39,440	Nah, I'll catch up. I'm pretty regular.	Nah, I'll catch up. I'm pretty regular.
518	00:36:44,760	00:36:45,886	We go.	We go.
519	00:37:30,160	00:37:31,685	We've still got a couple more miles.	We've still got a couple more miles.
520	00:37:31,880	00:37:33,041	How far back is she?	How far back is she?
521	00:37:34,320	00:37:35,500	She's gaining.	She's gaining.
522	00:37:35,600	00:37:37,250	- I don't think... - I don't...	- I don't think... - I don't...
523	00:37:38,160	00:37:39,241	We need a new plan.	We need a new plan.
524	00:37:39,680	00:37:41,648	- Yeah, we do. We need a new plan. - Yeah.	- Yeah, we do. We need a new plan. - Yeah.
525	00:37:48,520	00:37:49,540	Shh.	Shh.
526	00:37:49,640	00:37:51,165	I didn't say anything.	I didn't say anything.
527	00:37:51,480	00:37:54,051	- Well, you sound like a DC-10. Keep it down. - Oh.	- Well, you sound like a DC-10. Keep it down. - Oh.
528	00:37:56,120	00:37:57,201	Here she comes.	Here she comes.
529	00:38:03,200	00:38:04,531	Hold your breath.	Hold your breath.
530	00:38:15,800	00:38:16,847	Hold it, hold it.	Hold it, hold it.
531	00:38:23,440	00:38:28,890	We've come too far to give up who we are	We've come too far to give up who we are
532	00:38:33,400	00:38:34,481	We go, we go!	We go, we go!
533	00:38:40,480	00:38:43,450	- Hey, hey, hey! Hey! - Hey!	- Hey, hey, hey! Hey! - Hey!
534	00:38:43,720	00:38:45,563	Wait, stop!	Wait, stop!
535	00:38:48,080	00:38:50,526	Who the hell's gonna stop for us? We look like shit.	Who the hell's gonna stop for us? We look like shit.
536	00:38:52,360	00:38:54,249	Hey, stop!	Hey, stop!
537	00:38:58,680	00:38:59,761	They stopped!	They stopped!
538	00:39:03,680	00:39:05,205	Hey, you boys want a ride?	Hey, you boys want a ride?
539	00:39:05,720	00:39:06,881	Sure do!	Sure do!
540	00:39:15,400	00:39:17,767	Y'all have to excuse us. We are celebrating.	Y'all have to excuse us. We are celebrating.
541	00:39:18,120	00:39:20,043	Yeah? What are you celebrating?	Yeah? What are you celebrating?
542	00:39:20,400	00:39:22,402	We are getting married tomorrow.	We are getting married tomorrow.
543	00:39:22,880	00:39:25,486	- Great, great. - Congratulations, you guys.	- Great, great. - Congratulations, you guys.
544	00:39:26,120	00:39:27,900	Yeah, Darren is making an honest woman out of me.	Yeah, Darren is making an honest woman out of me.
545	00:39:28,000	00:39:29,365	- Ain't that right, baby? - Yes, I am.	- Ain't that right, baby? - Yes, I am.
546	00:39:31,000	00:39:32,525	Uh, you wanna watch the...	Uh, you wanna watch the...
547	00:39:43,760	00:39:44,761	Yeah.	Yeah.
548	00:39:48,400	00:39:52,325	Holy shit. I wish I was still 20.	Holy shit. I wish I was still 20.
549	00:39:53,080	00:39:54,730	I wish I was still 50.	I wish I was still 50.
550	00:39:56,080	00:39:57,809	- See y'all later. - Bye, y'all.	- See y'all later. - Bye, y'all.
551	00:40:06,160	00:40:07,420	What can I get you boys to drink?	What can I get you boys to drink?
552	00:40:07,520	00:40:10,922	The tallest and the coldest beer you can offer.	The tallest and the coldest beer you can offer.
553	00:40:12,080	00:40:13,081	Coke.	Coke.
554	00:40:13,360	00:40:16,603	- Just Coke, nothing in it? - Just Coke. I'm reformed.	- Just Coke, nothing in it? - Just Coke. I'm reformed.
555	00:40:16,760	00:40:18,683	- Okay. - Uh, you know what?	- Okay. - Uh, you know what?
556	00:40:19,680	00:40:21,523	Make mine a Coke also.	Make mine a Coke also.
557	00:40:22,000	00:40:23,650	All right. Just a second.	All right. Just a second.
558	00:40:27,480	00:40:30,643	Oh, wow. I'm... I'm impressed.	Oh, wow. I'm... I'm impressed.
559	00:40:31,560	00:40:34,484	Well, you know, ever since I rolled my car on route six,	Well, you know, ever since I rolled my car on route six,
560	00:40:35,520	00:40:39,605	- I had to rethink some things. - Yeah, that'll do it.	- I had to rethink some things. - Yeah, that'll do it.
561	00:40:41,200	00:40:44,522	A lady cop came up to the window and she knocked.	A lady cop came up to the window and she knocked.
562	00:40:46,200	00:40:50,603	I was hanging upside down by the seatbelt and I said, "What's the problem, officer?"	I was hanging upside down by the seatbelt and I said, "What's the problem, officer?"
563	00:40:51,880	00:40:54,201	She just stared at me and walked away.	She just stared at me and walked away.
564	00:40:55,320	00:40:58,244	So I haven't had a drink since.	So I haven't had a drink since.
565	00:40:59,240	00:41:01,607	- Really? - Yeah.	- Really? - Yeah.
566	00:41:02,920	00:41:04,206	Well, that's good.	Well, that's good.
567	00:41:06,000	00:41:08,685	- Good for you. - Yeah. Good for me.	- Good for you. - Yeah. Good for me.
568	00:41:09,320	00:41:10,367	Really.	Really.
569	00:41:14,520	00:41:15,646	Ah.	Ah.
570	00:41:18,520	00:41:19,601	You know, Bryson,	You know, Bryson,
571	00:41:19,720	00:41:24,726	I keep looking at the door over there and I keep seeing Mary Ellen coming through.	I keep looking at the door over there and I keep seeing Mary Ellen coming through.
572	00:41:26,760	00:41:28,285	I hope you're not going to tell me you miss her?	I hope you're not going to tell me you miss her?
573	00:41:28,600	00:41:31,490	Oh, no, no. Hell no, I'm not going to tell you that.	Oh, no, no. Hell no, I'm not going to tell you that.
574	00:41:31,600	00:41:34,340	I mean, we did kind of ditch her though, didn't we?	I mean, we did kind of ditch her though, didn't we?
575	00:41:34,440	00:41:37,020	No, we didn't just kind of ditch her, Stephen. We ditched her.	No, we didn't just kind of ditch her, Stephen. We ditched her.
576	00:41:37,120	00:41:41,091	Yeah. We left her all alone in the woods by herself.	Yeah. We left her all alone in the woods by herself.
577	00:41:41,240	00:41:42,446	She came into the woods by herself.	She came into the woods by herself.
578	00:41:42,560	00:41:45,180	It's not like we signed a contract to look after her.	It's not like we signed a contract to look after her.
579	00:41:45,280	00:41:48,011	No, but she's probably scared out of her wits.	No, but she's probably scared out of her wits.
580	00:41:48,640	00:41:50,210	What are you so interested in her for?	What are you so interested in her for?
581	00:41:50,320	00:41:52,800	I'm not interested in her at all.	I'm not interested in her at all.
582	00:41:53,600	00:41:56,922	The damndest thing, Bryson, is I am a Libra.	The damndest thing, Bryson, is I am a Libra.
583	00:41:59,760	00:42:00,966	She got it right.	She got it right.
584	00:42:03,720	00:42:05,722	Maybe she has a gift.	Maybe she has a gift.
585	00:42:06,680	00:42:08,011	What are the chances?	What are the chances?
586	00:42:08,800	00:42:10,370	One in 12, actually.	One in 12, actually.
587	00:42:10,760	00:42:14,128	One in 12. That's pretty damn good.	One in 12. That's pretty damn good.
588	00:42:20,640	00:42:22,642	Oh. Southbound, coming through.	Oh. Southbound, coming through.
589	00:42:26,480	00:42:29,006	Mary Ellen? Oh, yeah, she talked about you guys.	Mary Ellen? Oh, yeah, she talked about you guys.
590	00:42:29,120	00:42:30,360	Yeah? What did she say?	Yeah? What did she say?
591	00:42:31,040	00:42:32,451	- Well, her words, right? - Right.	- Well, her words, right? - Right.
592	00:42:32,640	00:42:34,802	She said you guys were a couple of overweight wimps	She said you guys were a couple of overweight wimps
593	00:42:34,920	00:42:36,445	who didn't know the first thing about hiking.	who didn't know the first thing about hiking.
594	00:42:37,560	00:42:38,766	And she was tired of carrying you.	And she was tired of carrying you.
595	00:42:39,400	00:42:41,164	Oh, Holy Christ Almighty.	Oh, Holy Christ Almighty.
596	00:42:41,280	00:42:43,567	Actually, I think she called you a couple of pussies.	Actually, I think she called you a couple of pussies.
597	00:42:43,840	00:42:45,205	- Pussies? - Pussies?	- Pussies? - Pussies?
598	00:42:46,440	00:42:47,646	After all we did for her?	After all we did for her?
599	00:42:48,280	00:42:51,090	You guys know it's supposed to snow tonight, right? Six to eight inches.	You guys know it's supposed to snow tonight, right? Six to eight inches.
600	00:42:51,240	00:42:53,004	- Really? - More higher up.	- Really? - More higher up.
601	00:42:53,320	00:42:56,130	That's what they're saying. You're going to be climbing right into it.	That's what they're saying. You're going to be climbing right into it.
602	00:42:56,320	00:42:57,481	- Yeah? Oh. - Yeah.	- Yeah? Oh. - Yeah.
603	00:42:59,960	00:43:03,248	- Well, I gotta keep moving, guys. Be safe. - Thanks.	- Well, I gotta keep moving, guys. Be safe. - Thanks.
604	00:43:03,680	00:43:06,126	Snow? That guy's out of his fucking mind.	Snow? That guy's out of his fucking mind.
605	00:43:24,360	00:43:25,407	You okay?	You okay?
606	00:43:25,840	00:43:27,251	Never better.	Never better.
607	00:43:31,640	00:43:33,005	Goddamn things are useless.	Goddamn things are useless.
608	00:43:34,880	00:43:37,451	What I'm thinking we could do is follow this logging road,	What I'm thinking we could do is follow this logging road,
609	00:43:38,200	00:43:40,260	get to the other side of this ridge, and get out of the wind	get to the other side of this ridge, and get out of the wind
610	00:43:40,360	00:43:42,931	where we can set up our camp. What do you think?	where we can set up our camp. What do you think?
611	00:43:43,120	00:43:47,205	Me? I think I'd rather have a nice hot soak in a Jacuzzi.	Me? I think I'd rather have a nice hot soak in a Jacuzzi.
612	00:43:47,720	00:43:51,566	But if you're dead-set on following that logging road, we can do that, too.	But if you're dead-set on following that logging road, we can do that, too.
613	00:43:52,040	00:43:56,204	We can save the Jacuzzi for another time when things aren't going so well.	We can save the Jacuzzi for another time when things aren't going so well.
614	00:43:56,360	00:43:57,460	Yeah.	Yeah.
615	00:43:57,560	00:43:59,164	- I'll follow you. - Okay.	- I'll follow you. - Okay.
616	00:44:08,840	00:44:10,365	Katz, you still there?	Katz, you still there?
617	00:44:11,560	00:44:13,881	Unfortunately.	Unfortunately.
618	00:44:28,600	00:44:30,364	Just like you said, Bryson.	Just like you said, Bryson.
619	00:44:31,240	00:44:35,370	The AT. You never know what lies ahead.	The AT. You never know what lies ahead.
620	00:44:36,720	00:44:37,926	So it appears.	So it appears.
621	00:44:59,480	00:45:02,848	I promise you, if there was heat, it would be on, honey, all right?	I promise you, if there was heat, it would be on, honey, all right?
622	00:45:03,120	00:45:05,168	Use the talcum powder, that helps.	Use the talcum powder, that helps.
623	00:45:06,280	00:45:10,410	Hi. We'd like a cabin. Preferably with a private bath.	Hi. We'd like a cabin. Preferably with a private bath.
624	00:45:11,000	00:45:14,721	The cabins went two days ago. But I do have two spaces in the bunkhouse.	The cabins went two days ago. But I do have two spaces in the bunkhouse.
625	00:45:19,120	00:45:21,327	I don't know if you're aware of this, Bryson,	I don't know if you're aware of this, Bryson,
626	00:45:21,720	00:45:24,485	but every time I hear the word "bunkhouse"	but every time I hear the word "bunkhouse"
627	00:45:25,240	00:45:28,210	my testicles shrink up inside my body.	my testicles shrink up inside my body.
628	00:45:39,000	00:45:40,161	Welcome to the Stalag.	Welcome to the Stalag.
629	00:45:40,280	00:45:42,580	There's a meeting of the Escape Committee at 1900 hours.	There's a meeting of the Escape Committee at 1900 hours.
630	00:45:42,680	00:45:43,841	Oh, okay.	Oh, okay.
631	00:45:56,480	00:45:59,131	Hey, are you liking that XT-85?	Hey, are you liking that XT-85?
632	00:46:00,120	00:46:01,406	Your pack.	Your pack.
633	00:46:01,640	00:46:02,687	Oh.	Oh.
634	00:46:03,280	00:46:05,123	- I got a Gregory. - Oh, yeah?	- I got a Gregory. - Oh, yeah?
635	00:46:05,320	00:46:07,766	Yeah. I looked at the XT-85, solid pack.	Yeah. I looked at the XT-85, solid pack.
636	00:46:07,960	00:46:09,041	But the quad access points,	But the quad access points,
637	00:46:09,160	00:46:11,401	dual hydration ports in the Gregory, they sold me.	dual hydration ports in the Gregory, they sold me.
638	00:46:13,200	00:46:14,850	What made you buy an XT-85?	What made you buy an XT-85?
639	00:46:15,840	00:46:18,207	I thought it was easier than carrying everything in my arms.	I thought it was easier than carrying everything in my arms.
640	00:46:25,960	00:46:29,328	- How come you're up top? - Well, heat rises, pal.	- How come you're up top? - Well, heat rises, pal.
641	00:46:41,720	00:46:43,051	Oh, yeah.	Oh, yeah.
642	00:46:48,720	00:46:50,051	Hey, you know...	Hey, you know...
643	00:46:53,880	00:46:56,645	Hey, Bryson, are you all right?	Hey, Bryson, are you all right?
644	00:46:56,920	00:46:58,410	Oh, never better.	Oh, never better.
645	00:47:50,040	00:47:52,805	We can start, maybe, right there and...	We can start, maybe, right there and...
646	00:47:56,440	00:47:57,930	Hello, there.	Hello, there.
647	00:48:00,080	00:48:01,889	You guys, uh, doing all right?	You guys, uh, doing all right?
648	00:48:02,760	00:48:03,966	Yeah, we're fine.	Yeah, we're fine.
649	00:48:04,440	00:48:05,740	Because, look, when we get over to the other side,	Because, look, when we get over to the other side,
650	00:48:05,840	00:48:07,968	we can just come back and grab your packs if you want?	we can just come back and grab your packs if you want?
651	00:48:09,320	00:48:10,481	You know, it's easy for us.	You know, it's easy for us.
652	00:48:10,640	00:48:11,926	- Not a problem. - Happy to help.	- Not a problem. - Happy to help.
653	00:48:12,240	00:48:15,926	We like hard, we don't like easy. But thanks a lot, you know.	We like hard, we don't like easy. But thanks a lot, you know.
654	00:48:17,480	00:48:19,403	- All right, then. - Okay.	- All right, then. - Okay.
655	00:48:20,120	00:48:22,009	- Excuse us. All right. - Yep.	- Excuse us. All right. - Yep.
656	00:48:33,560	00:48:35,324	- Nice guys. - Yep.	- Nice guys. - Yep.
657	00:48:35,840	00:48:37,763	- I hate 'em. - Me, too.	- I hate 'em. - Me, too.
658	00:48:39,440	00:48:40,441	Well...	Well...
659	00:49:20,960	00:49:23,691	- That went well. - It was refreshing.	- That went well. - It was refreshing.
660	00:49:28,000	00:49:30,367	Bryson, you've got everything a man could want.	Bryson, you've got everything a man could want.
661	00:49:31,120	00:49:34,522	And here you are, tramping around in the woods with me.	And here you are, tramping around in the woods with me.
662	00:49:35,600	00:49:36,886	Seriously, what gives?	Seriously, what gives?
663	00:49:38,240	00:49:39,844	I don't know.	I don't know.
664	00:49:41,880	00:49:44,611	As John Muir once said, "Sometimes a man just has to	As John Muir once said, "Sometimes a man just has to
665	00:49:45,720	00:49:49,361	"get a loaf of bread and throw it into a sack, and jump over the back fence."	"get a loaf of bread and throw it into a sack, and jump over the back fence."
666	00:49:49,720	00:49:51,563	Oh, I got you.	Oh, I got you.
667	00:49:51,840	00:49:54,411	Life's a little too perfect inside that fence, huh?	Life's a little too perfect inside that fence, huh?
668	00:49:54,960	00:49:57,281	- No, no, no... - Oh, you made sense, Bryson.	- No, no, no... - Oh, you made sense, Bryson.
669	00:49:57,400	00:49:58,970	You're a caged animal.	You're a caged animal.
670	00:49:59,240	00:50:02,323	You wanna get back into that forest. Live a little.	You wanna get back into that forest. Live a little.
671	00:50:03,600	00:50:06,331	- That's not it. - No, that's got to be it.	- That's not it. - No, that's got to be it.
672	00:50:07,400	00:50:08,845	So why'd you come?	So why'd you come?
673	00:50:09,560	00:50:13,087	I guess I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in jail.	I guess I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in jail.
674	00:50:13,760	00:50:15,888	- What? - It's nothing, really.	- What? - It's nothing, really.
675	00:50:16,840	00:50:21,209	Just a couple of outstanding warrants I didn't show up for and stuff like that.	Just a couple of outstanding warrants I didn't show up for and stuff like that.
676	00:50:21,320	00:50:24,927	Jesus, Stephen, that's really not something you can run from.	Jesus, Stephen, that's really not something you can run from.
677	00:50:26,800	00:50:28,848	Actually, you kind of can.	Actually, you kind of can.
678	00:50:29,760	00:50:31,888	Same old Stephen. Always running from something.	Same old Stephen. Always running from something.
679	00:50:32,080	00:50:34,686	Oh, really? You're one to talk.	Oh, really? You're one to talk.
680	00:50:35,200	00:50:36,486	Not you.	Not you.
681	00:50:37,800	00:50:40,883	Remind me again why we're out here?	Remind me again why we're out here?
682	00:50:41,080	00:50:42,340	It's was not like you had something better to do.	It's was not like you had something better to do.
683	00:50:42,440	00:50:44,966	As I recall, in fact, you begged me to come.	As I recall, in fact, you begged me to come.
684	00:50:45,120	00:50:47,964	I begged? I begged to come? I asked.	I begged? I begged to come? I asked.
685	00:50:48,920	00:50:51,048	You know what cracks me up, Bryson?	You know what cracks me up, Bryson?
686	00:50:51,640	00:50:56,460	Is how predictable your whole life has become, right down to the Volvo.	Is how predictable your whole life has become, right down to the Volvo.
687	00:50:56,560	00:50:58,403	God forbid somebody should evolve	God forbid somebody should evolve
688	00:50:58,520	00:51:00,284	rather than squandering away their existence.	rather than squandering away their existence.
689	00:51:00,400	00:51:03,768	I mean, look at you. All these years and you're still stuck at square one.	I mean, look at you. All these years and you're still stuck at square one.
690	00:51:04,320	00:51:06,220	Hey, Bryson. Are you happy?	Hey, Bryson. Are you happy?
691	00:51:06,320	00:51:08,004	What the hell kind of a question is that?	What the hell kind of a question is that?
692	00:51:08,160	00:51:10,322	Pretty important question, I'd say.	Pretty important question, I'd say.
693	00:51:10,440	00:51:11,646	What, do you think you're happy?	What, do you think you're happy?
694	00:51:12,080	00:51:13,366	I think...	I think...
695	00:51:25,960	00:51:27,371	Wow.	Wow.
696	00:51:28,840	00:51:30,330	The Smokies.	The Smokies.
697	00:51:34,520	00:51:36,443	Now this is interesting.	Now this is interesting.
698	00:51:39,200	00:51:40,740	Oh, God, this is amazing.	Oh, God, this is amazing.
699	00:51:40,840	00:51:43,207	From here you can see all three kinds of rock.	From here you can see all three kinds of rock.
700	00:51:44,920	00:51:47,161	There, you see that layered section across that slant?	There, you see that layered section across that slant?
701	00:51:47,280	00:51:48,805	- Yeah. - That's sedimentary.	- Yeah. - That's sedimentary.
702	00:51:51,040	00:51:54,420	And the dark stuff here, pushing up from underneath, that's igneous.	And the dark stuff here, pushing up from underneath, that's igneous.
703	00:51:54,520	00:51:55,681	Think volcanic.	Think volcanic.
704	00:51:56,120	00:51:58,202	How do you know all this stuff?	How do you know all this stuff?
705	00:51:58,360	00:52:00,044	Well, there are these things called books.	Well, there are these things called books.
706	00:52:00,640	00:52:04,281	- Oh. No kidding, they're called books? - Yeah, they're like TV for smart people.	- Oh. No kidding, they're called books? - Yeah, they're like TV for smart people.
707	00:52:05,200	00:52:07,726	See, what we're talking about here, Katz, is time.	See, what we're talking about here, Katz, is time.
708	00:52:08,520	00:52:09,646	Geologic time.	Geologic time.
709	00:52:10,040	00:52:14,602	Hundreds of thousands of years of enormous, shifting tectonic plates.	Hundreds of thousands of years of enormous, shifting tectonic plates.
710	00:52:15,000	00:52:17,924	It's like the world being reborn from below while it's being eroded from above.	It's like the world being reborn from below while it's being eroded from above.
711	00:52:18,560	00:52:19,971	Yeah. Well,	Yeah. Well,
712	00:52:20,480	00:52:22,687	when we get back I'm gonna buy you a TV.	when we get back I'm gonna buy you a TV.
713	00:52:23,840	00:52:29,051	Because nobody gives a fuck about shifting tectonic plates.	Because nobody gives a fuck about shifting tectonic plates.
714	00:52:29,240	00:52:30,241	Well, I do.	Well, I do.
715	00:52:30,800	00:52:32,040	You know why?	You know why?
716	00:52:32,560	00:52:35,086	Because I'm curious, and I love being curious.	Because I'm curious, and I love being curious.
717	00:52:35,560	00:52:37,927	I like knowing things about the world that we're living in.	I like knowing things about the world that we're living in.
718	00:52:38,400	00:52:40,641	Well, I think it's all fucking rock.	Well, I think it's all fucking rock.
719	00:52:41,040	00:52:42,371	Oh, yeah?	Oh, yeah?
720	00:52:42,480	00:52:44,687	I don't get bogged down in the minutiae.	I don't get bogged down in the minutiae.
721	00:52:44,960	00:52:47,440	- I'm above the details. - You are?	- I'm above the details. - You are?
722	00:52:47,640	00:52:49,927	I'm big picture, Bryson.	I'm big picture, Bryson.
723	00:52:50,080	00:52:52,700	Oh. How's that working out for you?	Oh. How's that working out for you?
724	00:52:52,800	00:52:55,246	Ah, pretty, uh, fucking good.	Ah, pretty, uh, fucking good.
725	00:53:25,840	00:53:26,966	Hello.	Hello.
726	00:53:27,360	00:53:28,646	We'd like a room, please.	We'd like a room, please.
727	00:53:28,920	00:53:30,410	Two rooms.	Two rooms.
728	00:53:31,040	00:53:35,443	Oh, the Cubbies lost a double header, and they're 11 games back.	Oh, the Cubbies lost a double header, and they're 11 games back.
729	00:53:35,800	00:53:37,006	Don't act surprised.	Don't act surprised.
730	00:53:38,480	00:53:40,164	Tonight would be preferable.	Tonight would be preferable.
731	00:53:42,320	00:53:43,651	Hello there?	Hello there?
732	00:53:46,440	00:53:48,420	Where are the Red Sox?	Where are the Red Sox?
733	00:53:48,520	00:53:49,965	Red Sox? Are you fucking kidding me? Whoa.	Red Sox? Are you fucking kidding me? Whoa.
734	00:53:50,240	00:53:51,340	Excuse me, ma'am.	Excuse me, ma'am.
735	00:53:51,440	00:53:53,420	- Red Sox? - I live in New England.	- Red Sox? - I live in New England.
736	00:53:53,520	00:53:57,161	Yeah, but Bryson, it's not about where you live, it's about who you are.	Yeah, but Bryson, it's not about where you live, it's about who you are.
737	00:53:57,400	00:54:00,290	Oh, yeah? Well, I'm the kind of guy that likes it when a team wins now and then.	Oh, yeah? Well, I'm the kind of guy that likes it when a team wins now and then.
738	00:54:00,440	00:54:01,851	Well, you don't...	Well, you don't...
739	00:54:02,680	00:54:06,082	You don't give up on a team just because they've had a few bad years.	You don't give up on a team just because they've had a few bad years.
740	00:54:06,320	00:54:08,322	A few bad years? Jesus.	A few bad years? Jesus.
741	00:54:08,520	00:54:10,648	Baseball is about loyalty.	Baseball is about loyalty.
742	00:54:12,200	00:54:15,124	Like, she knows what I'm talking about. Don't you?	Like, she knows what I'm talking about. Don't you?
743	00:54:17,640	00:54:19,085	Would you two like a minute?	Would you two like a minute?
744	00:54:20,000	00:54:22,002	Hi, I'm Jeannie. How can I help y'all?	Hi, I'm Jeannie. How can I help y'all?
745	00:54:22,600	00:54:24,443	Mother, let go of the man's hand.	Mother, let go of the man's hand.
746	00:54:25,960	00:54:27,485	- Hi. - Hi.	- Hi. - Hi.
747	00:54:28,000	00:54:30,207	Um, we'd like a couple of rooms. Please.	Um, we'd like a couple of rooms. Please.
748	00:54:30,560	00:54:32,608	Oh, sure. Where are you all from?	Oh, sure. Where are you all from?
749	00:54:33,240	00:54:36,562	Uh, I live in New Hampshire, but I spent over 10 years in England.	Uh, I live in New Hampshire, but I spent over 10 years in England.
750	00:54:36,680	00:54:39,126	- Mostly in the north countryside... - He's from Iowa.	- Mostly in the north countryside... - He's from Iowa.
751	00:54:41,200	00:54:44,044	Well, the rooms are 40 a night and you can pay when you leave.	Well, the rooms are 40 a night and you can pay when you leave.
752	00:54:45,200	00:54:48,204	Mother, I said, "Let go of the man's hand."	Mother, I said, "Let go of the man's hand."
753	00:54:51,720	00:54:53,006	Thank you.	Thank you.
754	00:54:54,000	00:54:55,047	Helluva grip.	Helluva grip.
755	00:54:55,360	00:54:57,780	The Cubs should sign her. She'd be the youngest in their bullpen.	The Cubs should sign her. She'd be the youngest in their bullpen.
756	00:55:00,400	00:55:03,244	- I guess this is me. - Yeah, okay. I'm right here.	- I guess this is me. - Yeah, okay. I'm right here.
757	00:55:03,520	00:55:06,251	- Yeah. - Yeah. All right. I'll see you.	- Yeah. - Yeah. All right. I'll see you.
758	00:55:07,160	00:55:08,366	Yeah.	Yeah.
759	00:55:35,240	00:55:36,446	Ah!	Ah!
760	00:56:10,840	00:56:12,604	- Hi. - Hello, again.	- Hi. - Hello, again.
761	00:56:13,640	00:56:15,961	- How can I help you? - I just need some towels.	- How can I help you? - I just need some towels.
762	00:56:17,160	00:56:19,288	- Oh. I'm sorry about that. - That's fine.	- Oh. I'm sorry about that. - That's fine.
763	00:56:19,480	00:56:20,925	- Here, come with me. - Okay.	- Here, come with me. - Okay.
764	00:56:28,920	00:56:34,051	Yeah, it's family owned and operated. For three generations, if you can believe it.	Yeah, it's family owned and operated. For three generations, if you can believe it.
765	00:56:34,640	00:56:35,687	Oh, I can.	Oh, I can.
766	00:56:36,520	00:56:39,729	It has a personal feel to it. That's pretty rare these days.	It has a personal feel to it. That's pretty rare these days.
767	00:56:40,680	00:56:42,045	Eighty-three years.	Eighty-three years.
768	00:56:43,000	00:56:44,161	Wow.	Wow.
769	00:56:46,000	00:56:50,483	We, um... We added the restaurant 10 years ago.	We, um... We added the restaurant 10 years ago.
770	00:56:51,640	00:56:53,802	- So you manage that, too? - Yeah.	- So you manage that, too? - Yeah.
771	00:56:54,840	00:56:56,171	Somebody's gotta do it.	Somebody's gotta do it.
772	00:56:57,280	00:57:01,888	It's not so bad. I get to meet interesting people.	It's not so bad. I get to meet interesting people.
773	00:57:03,120	00:57:06,010	I'm not sure I qualify as interesting.	I'm not sure I qualify as interesting.
774	00:57:06,280	00:57:07,691	Oh, I wasn't talking about you.	Oh, I wasn't talking about you.
775	00:57:14,600	00:57:16,648	Sorry. Could not resist.	Sorry. Could not resist.
776	00:57:18,240	00:57:21,164	- I'm glad I'm here to amuse you. - Yeah, yeah. Me, too.	- I'm glad I'm here to amuse you. - Yeah, yeah. Me, too.
777	00:57:23,160	00:57:24,366	This is you.	This is you.
778	00:57:26,000	00:57:27,331	You must be exhausted.	You must be exhausted.
779	00:57:31,000	00:57:32,570	Holy shit.	Holy shit.
780	00:57:33,800	00:57:36,371	I... I gave you a couple extras.	I... I gave you a couple extras.
781	00:57:38,120	00:57:39,281	Enjoy your shower.	Enjoy your shower.
782	00:57:39,960	00:57:41,166	I will, thanks.	I will, thanks.
783	00:57:43,120	00:57:44,610	Do you need anything else?	Do you need anything else?
784	00:57:45,760	00:57:46,966	No. Not at the moment.	No. Not at the moment.
785	00:57:47,400	00:57:48,526	Okay.	Okay.
786	00:57:49,160	00:57:52,289	Well, you know where I am. All right.	Well, you know where I am. All right.
787	00:57:59,400	00:58:00,660	We're not here right now,	We're not here right now,
788	00:58:00,760	00:58:03,889	but please leave a message and thank you for calling. Bye.	but please leave a message and thank you for calling. Bye.
789	00:58:05,360	00:58:09,331	Hi, sweetie. It's me. Uh, just calling to say I love you.	Hi, sweetie. It's me. Uh, just calling to say I love you.
790	00:58:19,240	00:58:21,641	Right, right. That's the one.	Right, right. That's the one.
791	00:58:22,960	00:58:25,486	Nice, isn't it? I like it.	Nice, isn't it? I like it.
792	00:58:28,560	00:58:30,660	Everything good on the home front?	Everything good on the home front?
793	00:58:30,760	00:58:33,604	She's impressed we haven't killed ourselves yet.	She's impressed we haven't killed ourselves yet.
794	00:58:33,840	00:58:35,604	She's not the only one.	She's not the only one.
795	00:58:37,120	00:58:39,248	Did you tell her about last night?	Did you tell her about last night?
796	00:58:39,840	00:58:40,966	What?	What?
797	00:58:41,120	00:58:42,451	You in a robe?	You in a robe?
798	00:58:43,320	00:58:46,483	The proprietress, I'm sure, was looking to hand over	The proprietress, I'm sure, was looking to hand over
799	00:58:46,760	00:58:48,444	more than just towels.	more than just towels.
800	00:58:48,920	00:58:49,967	You're out of your mind.	You're out of your mind.
801	00:58:50,440	00:58:51,487	Am I?	Am I?
802	00:58:52,040	00:58:54,805	Sure will make a steamy chapter in the book.	Sure will make a steamy chapter in the book.
803	00:58:55,000	00:58:56,525	Katz, I told you I'm not writing a book.	Katz, I told you I'm not writing a book.
804	00:58:57,440	00:58:59,568	Listen, I'm going to go over to, uh, K-Mart.	Listen, I'm going to go over to, uh, K-Mart.
805	00:59:00,440	00:59:02,647	Get a couple of things. You okay?	Get a couple of things. You okay?
806	00:59:02,920	00:59:05,241	Oh, I'm in my happy place.	Oh, I'm in my happy place.
807	00:59:05,920	00:59:07,126	Good.	Good.
808	00:59:28,080	00:59:30,048	Idiot!	Idiot!
809	00:59:46,600	00:59:48,170	Oh, wait, wait.	Oh, wait, wait.
810	00:59:48,400	00:59:50,880	Here, here.	Here, here.
811	00:59:51,440	00:59:54,284	- Here you are, ma'am. Here you go. - Oh, thank you.	- Here you are, ma'am. Here you go. - Oh, thank you.
812	01:00:33,920	01:00:35,410	- Pardon me. - Hmm?	- Pardon me. - Hmm?
813	01:00:36,080	01:00:38,526	I'm so sorry. Do you think you could give me a hand here?	I'm so sorry. Do you think you could give me a hand here?
814	01:00:39,040	01:00:42,249	Well, certainly. I'd be happy to.	Well, certainly. I'd be happy to.
815	01:00:45,800	01:00:47,723	What seems to be the problem?	What seems to be the problem?
816	01:00:49,760	01:00:52,764	I'm having a difficult time removing my panties.	I'm having a difficult time removing my panties.
817	01:00:54,640	01:00:57,380	Well, luckily you're	Well, luckily you're
818	01:00:57,480	01:00:59,482	- in the presence of an expert. - Oh.	- in the presence of an expert. - Oh.
819	01:01:01,880	01:01:03,245	May I?	May I?
820	01:01:06,960	01:01:10,089	- Oh, they're silk, aren't they? - Mmm-hmm.	- Oh, they're silk, aren't they? - Mmm-hmm.
821	01:01:12,680	01:01:15,047	I'm a pantyologist.	I'm a pantyologist.
822	01:01:15,960	01:01:18,122	Really? I've never heard of that.	Really? I've never heard of that.
823	01:01:24,440	01:01:25,965	- Oh. - Oh.	- Oh. - Oh.
824	01:01:27,520	01:01:28,760	Well,	Well,
825	01:01:30,240	01:01:32,447	these aren't gonna do you much good.	these aren't gonna do you much good.
826	01:01:34,760	01:01:36,762	Well, they might not do me much bad, either.	Well, they might not do me much bad, either.
827	01:01:39,640	01:01:41,085	No.	No.
828	01:01:51,960	01:01:53,769	- Jesus, Bryson. - Don't ask.	- Jesus, Bryson. - Don't ask.
829	01:01:54,240	01:01:55,810	You been screwing hogs again?	You been screwing hogs again?
830	01:01:56,000	01:01:57,286	You're just jealous.	You're just jealous.
831	01:01:57,760	01:01:59,285	Actually, I'm not.	Actually, I'm not.
832	01:01:59,640	01:02:04,248	In your absence, my romantic life has taken a turn for the better.	In your absence, my romantic life has taken a turn for the better.
833	01:02:05,200	01:02:06,486	Remember the laundromat?	Remember the laundromat?
834	01:02:07,400	01:02:09,129	Her name is Beulah.	Her name is Beulah.
835	01:02:09,640	01:02:10,721	Seriously?	Seriously?
836	01:02:10,960	01:02:14,089	Yeah, seriously. And she's got a beautiful body.	Yeah, seriously. And she's got a beautiful body.
837	01:02:15,560	01:02:17,767	Buried under two hundred pounds of fat.	Buried under two hundred pounds of fat.
838	01:02:19,480	01:02:22,380	But then, you know I kinda like a little meat on the bone.	But then, you know I kinda like a little meat on the bone.
839	01:02:22,480	01:02:26,280	Sure, as long as you don't have to remove a wall to get her out of the house.	Sure, as long as you don't have to remove a wall to get her out of the house.
840	01:02:26,800	01:02:28,040	How did this happen?	How did this happen?
841	01:02:28,200	01:02:31,363	She asked me if I would come take a look at her panties.	She asked me if I would come take a look at her panties.
842	01:02:32,240	01:02:35,687	- What? - They were caught in the agitator.	- What? - They were caught in the agitator.
843	01:02:36,160	01:02:37,286	And they were shredded.	And they were shredded.
844	01:02:37,600	01:02:41,241	So I'm gonna meet her this afternoon in front of the fire station.	So I'm gonna meet her this afternoon in front of the fire station.
845	01:02:41,680	01:02:43,364	Is that where she keeps her spare underwear?	Is that where she keeps her spare underwear?
846	01:02:44,000	01:02:48,847	I'm telling you, man, I felt a stiffening of the old resolve.	I'm telling you, man, I felt a stiffening of the old resolve.
847	01:02:50,840	01:02:53,320	- Oh, yeah? - I got her these.	- Oh, yeah? - I got her these.
848	01:02:58,480	01:03:00,005	Oh, she's a big woman.	Oh, she's a big woman.
849	01:03:00,280	01:03:01,361	Where'd you get these?	Where'd you get these?
850	01:03:01,680	01:03:03,364	K-Mart. I took a cab.	K-Mart. I took a cab.
851	01:03:04,000	01:03:06,731	Um, I thought I'd give 'em to her at dinner.	Um, I thought I'd give 'em to her at dinner.
852	01:03:07,120	01:03:08,326	As an ice-breaker.	As an ice-breaker.
853	01:03:08,840	01:03:10,620	You're gonna give those to her in a restaurant?	You're gonna give those to her in a restaurant?
854	01:03:10,720	01:03:11,780	Yeah.	Yeah.
855	01:03:11,880	01:03:13,882	Unless you think it's a bad idea.	Unless you think it's a bad idea.
856	01:03:14,720	01:03:17,564	No. I think that's a great idea.	No. I think that's a great idea.
857	01:03:19,280	01:03:20,486	Good.	Good.
858	01:03:28,040	01:03:29,280	Hey.	Hey.
859	01:03:30,320	01:03:31,810	- You had the turkey, right? - Yes.	- You had the turkey, right? - Yes.
860	01:03:33,800	01:03:35,245	- Enjoy. - All right.	- Enjoy. - All right.
861	01:03:49,560	01:03:50,860	We go. We go.	We go. We go.
862	01:03:50,960	01:03:53,486	- What are you talking about? - There's some guy looking for me!	- What are you talking about? - There's some guy looking for me!
863	01:03:53,600	01:03:54,700	Some guy?	Some guy?
864	01:03:54,800	01:03:55,926	Beulah's husband.	Beulah's husband.
865	01:03:56,240	01:03:57,810	- Beulah's got a husband? - Yeah.	- Beulah's got a husband? - Yeah.
866	01:03:58,280	01:04:01,602	I mean, there's only two guys on the planet that would go to bed with her,	I mean, there's only two guys on the planet that would go to bed with her,
867	01:04:01,960	01:04:04,140	and here we are in the same damned town!	and here we are in the same damned town!
868	01:04:04,240	01:04:05,605	So what happened?	So what happened?
869	01:04:06,680	01:04:09,340	I'm standing in front of the fire station like we planned.	I'm standing in front of the fire station like we planned.
870	01:04:09,440	01:04:10,500	Yeah.	Yeah.
871	01:04:10,600	01:04:14,924	And then around the corner comes this red pickup and it screeches to a halt.	And then around the corner comes this red pickup and it screeches to a halt.
872	01:04:15,280	01:04:18,250	And this big guy, he's angry, he gets out,	And this big guy, he's angry, he gets out,
873	01:04:18,520	01:04:21,490	and he's walking up towards me, and he's going like this.	and he's walking up towards me, and he's going like this.
874	01:04:21,600	01:04:22,806	"I want to talk to you."	"I want to talk to you."
875	01:04:23,600	01:04:25,364	- So what did you do? - I ran.	- So what did you do? - I ran.
876	01:04:26,080	01:04:27,020	You ran?	You ran?
877	01:04:27,120	01:04:29,780	Yeah. I can move like a jack-rabbit if I have to.	Yeah. I can move like a jack-rabbit if I have to.
878	01:04:29,880	01:04:33,726	- So he didn't catch you? - No, no. He's 600 pounds.	- So he didn't catch you? - No, no. He's 600 pounds.
879	01:04:33,840	01:04:36,020	He's not exactly a track star.	He's not exactly a track star.
880	01:04:36,120	01:04:39,660	He's cruising around now in his red pickup truck looking for me.	He's cruising around now in his red pickup truck looking for me.
881	01:04:39,760	01:04:44,163	I been running through back yards, clothes lines, all sorts of shit.	I been running through back yards, clothes lines, all sorts of shit.
882	01:04:44,800	01:04:47,201	- Well, you're safe now. - This guy is...	- Well, you're safe now. - This guy is...
883	01:04:49,920	01:04:51,126	Red pickup!	Red pickup!
884	01:04:53,000	01:04:54,331	And there's another one!	And there's another one!
885	01:04:54,440	01:04:56,340	Come on, Bryson, we need a plan!	Come on, Bryson, we need a plan!
886	01:04:56,440	01:04:59,330	Why don't you go out and talk to the guy, huh? I'm sure he's reasonable.	Why don't you go out and talk to the guy, huh? I'm sure he's reasonable.
887	01:05:01,160	01:05:02,321	That's your plan?	That's your plan?
888	01:05:02,760	01:05:05,570	I don't need a plan. I'm not being chased.	I don't need a plan. I'm not being chased.
889	01:05:06,360	01:05:08,780	Now, come on, Bryson, we gotta get outta here.	Now, come on, Bryson, we gotta get outta here.
890	01:05:08,880	01:05:11,326	- Yeah. - Come on, don't mess around with me.	- Yeah. - Come on, don't mess around with me.
891	01:05:11,800	01:05:13,006	Please?	Please?
892	01:05:14,080	01:05:15,411	- Come on! - Yeah, yeah.	- Come on! - Yeah, yeah.
893	01:05:26,640	01:05:27,971	Hey buddy, you in there?	Hey buddy, you in there?
894	01:05:29,520	01:05:33,161	It's Bubba T. Flubba! Are you in there, boy? Come out, you chicken shit!	It's Bubba T. Flubba! Are you in there, boy? Come out, you chicken shit!
895	01:05:33,320	01:05:35,482	Come on! Don't mess around!	Come on! Don't mess around!
896	01:05:52,040	01:05:53,020	Open up!	Open up!
897	01:05:53,120	01:05:55,441	I know you're in there, you son of a bitch!	I know you're in there, you son of a bitch!
898	01:05:55,720	01:05:56,767	Holy shit.	Holy shit.
899	01:05:57,080	01:05:58,206	He's here!	He's here!
900	01:05:58,360	01:05:59,860	I don't care where the hell you are,	I don't care where the hell you are,
901	01:05:59,960	01:06:01,883	I'll knock every one of these damned doors down!	I'll knock every one of these damned doors down!
902	01:06:02,240	01:06:05,210	Come on, I know you're in here somewhere, you son of a bitch!	Come on, I know you're in here somewhere, you son of a bitch!
903	01:06:06,600	01:06:09,729	I don't care where you are, I'm gonna find you!	I don't care where you are, I'm gonna find you!
904	01:06:10,000	01:06:13,163	I want to know who's been messing with my Beulah!	I want to know who's been messing with my Beulah!
905	01:06:13,280	01:06:15,681	- Bring your ass out here! - Come on, Bryson!	- Bring your ass out here! - Come on, Bryson!
906	01:06:15,880	01:06:17,882	Pull me through! He's at the door!	Pull me through! He's at the door!
907	01:06:21,680	01:06:23,125	Open the goddamned door!	Open the goddamned door!
908	01:06:23,360	01:06:24,691	Come on, move it! Move it!	Come on, move it! Move it!
909	01:06:39,440	01:06:42,410	But what about Basel? When we stole the boat?	But what about Basel? When we stole the boat?
910	01:06:42,800	01:06:45,020	We didn't steal the boat, we borrowed the boat.	We didn't steal the boat, we borrowed the boat.
911	01:06:45,120	01:06:50,001	Yes, well, the girl's uncle with the shotgun, he saw it differently.	Yes, well, the girl's uncle with the shotgun, he saw it differently.
912	01:06:50,600	01:06:51,761	He sure did.	He sure did.
913	01:07:31,160	01:07:33,527	You know, you missed out in Greece.	You know, you missed out in Greece.
914	01:07:34,640	01:07:36,210	I'd kind of had my fill by that point.	I'd kind of had my fill by that point.
915	01:07:36,600	01:07:39,968	When you said you were gonna go to England, I thought you'd last,	When you said you were gonna go to England, I thought you'd last,
916	01:07:40,360	01:07:41,725	one week. Tops.	one week. Tops.
917	01:07:42,400	01:07:44,100	- Well, I met a gal. - Yeah.	- Well, I met a gal. - Yeah.
918	01:07:44,200	01:07:45,201	And that was that.	And that was that.
919	01:07:46,640	01:07:48,130	Well... Yeah, thank you.	Well... Yeah, thank you.
920	01:07:50,320	01:07:55,121	Cathy seems great. But obviously you've been with other women.	Cathy seems great. But obviously you've been with other women.
921	01:07:59,280	01:08:00,406	Never?	Never?
922	01:08:01,320	01:08:02,685	In the last 40 years?	In the last 40 years?
923	01:08:03,000	01:08:04,047	Nope.	Nope.
924	01:08:09,160	01:08:12,562	Bullshit, you son of a bitch.	Bullshit, you son of a bitch.
925	01:08:12,920	01:08:17,482	I saw you undress that proprietress six ways to Sunday.	I saw you undress that proprietress six ways to Sunday.
926	01:08:17,640	01:08:20,371	- You can't tell me you didn't. - Well...	- You can't tell me you didn't. - Well...
927	01:08:21,520	01:08:23,329	One woman all these years?	One woman all these years?
928	01:08:24,440	01:08:25,487	Yep.	Yep.
929	01:08:25,680	01:08:27,409	That can't be good for you.	That can't be good for you.
930	01:08:31,360	01:08:34,364	I mean, when was the last time that you even got a, uh...	I mean, when was the last time that you even got a, uh...
931	01:08:36,880	01:08:40,805	Well, never mind. I know how married women are.	Well, never mind. I know how married women are.
932	01:08:41,640	01:08:42,880	Really? Is that so?	Really? Is that so?
933	01:08:43,040	01:08:47,443	Yeah. Trust me. I've been with way more married women than you have.	Yeah. Trust me. I've been with way more married women than you have.
934	01:09:13,360	01:09:16,284	Hey, Katz, you awake?	Hey, Katz, you awake?
935	01:09:18,400	01:09:20,209	No.	No.
936	01:09:20,400	01:09:21,401	What was that?	What was that?
937	01:09:22,320	01:09:24,209	How the hell should I know?	How the hell should I know?
938	01:09:26,400	01:09:27,765	It sounded big.	It sounded big.
939	01:09:27,960	01:09:31,089	Everything sounds big in the woods, Bryson.	Everything sounds big in the woods, Bryson.
940	01:09:31,680	01:09:34,331	It's probably just a skunk. Go to bed.	It's probably just a skunk. Go to bed.
941	01:09:39,200	01:09:40,281	Did you pack a knife?	Did you pack a knife?
942	01:09:41,560	01:09:42,641	No.	No.
943	01:09:42,760	01:09:43,921	Nothing sharp?	Nothing sharp?
944	01:09:45,640	01:09:47,740	Nail clippers.	Nail clippers.
945	01:09:47,840	01:09:49,251	Swell.	Swell.
946	01:09:50,000	01:09:52,924	Just leave it alone, Bryson. It will go away.	Just leave it alone, Bryson. It will go away.
947	01:09:54,560	01:09:56,220	Oh, yeah, well if it is a bear and it comes toward you,	Oh, yeah, well if it is a bear and it comes toward you,
948	01:09:56,320	01:09:58,209	what are you going to do? Give it a pedicure?	what are you going to do? Give it a pedicure?
949	01:10:00,080	01:10:03,243	Jesus! Two fucking bears staring right at me.	Jesus! Two fucking bears staring right at me.
950	01:10:03,600	01:10:06,365	Oh, god dammit, Bryson, get some sleep.	Oh, god dammit, Bryson, get some sleep.
951	01:10:08,360	01:10:09,441	Holy shit.	Holy shit.
952	01:10:11,360	01:10:14,125	If they come for us, play dead.	If they come for us, play dead.
953	01:10:14,360	01:10:16,806	If they come for us, we are dead.	If they come for us, we are dead.
954	01:10:17,240	01:10:18,651	No, wait, wait, wait.	No, wait, wait, wait.
955	01:10:20,120	01:10:21,531	That's grizzlies. Wait a minute.	That's grizzlies. Wait a minute.
956	01:10:21,960	01:10:24,406	Motherfuck. They're tearing everything apart.	Motherfuck. They're tearing everything apart.
957	01:10:25,120	01:10:28,283	Okay. "Stand up as tall as you can to intimidate the bear."	Okay. "Stand up as tall as you can to intimidate the bear."
958	01:10:28,880	01:10:32,043	Intimidate the bear? They're fucking bears!	Intimidate the bear? They're fucking bears!
959	01:10:35,240	01:10:36,810	We've got to scare them off.	We've got to scare them off.
960	01:10:36,960	01:10:38,291	Get! Scat!	Get! Scat!
961	01:11:09,680	01:11:11,364	You gotta put this in the book.	You gotta put this in the book.
962	01:11:11,640	01:11:14,211	- There's not going to be a goddamned book. - Oh.	- There's not going to be a goddamned book. - Oh.
963	01:11:43,840	01:11:46,366	Jeez. Damn.	Jeez. Damn.
964	01:11:57,560	01:11:59,244	Come on, we're having fun.	Come on, we're having fun.
965	01:12:01,400	01:12:02,686	Holy shit.	Holy shit.
966	01:12:03,920	01:12:05,729	- Look at this. - What?	- Look at this. - What?
967	01:12:06,040	01:12:07,769	This is the trail.	This is the trail.
968	01:12:08,400	01:12:11,700	Here we are. We're not even halfway there.	Here we are. We're not even halfway there.
969	01:12:11,800	01:12:13,928	- This can't be right. - Son of a bitch.	- This can't be right. - Son of a bitch.
970	01:12:14,160	01:12:15,605	No way that's to scale.	No way that's to scale.
971	01:12:16,080	01:12:18,606	It says, "Map to Scale".	It says, "Map to Scale".
972	01:12:19,920	01:12:21,888	That's it. New plan.	That's it. New plan.
973	01:12:23,160	01:12:24,685	God damn it.	God damn it.
974	01:12:30,120	01:12:33,203	I'm telling you, Bryson, there's a lot of advantages.	I'm telling you, Bryson, there's a lot of advantages.
975	01:12:35,680	01:12:37,700	You want to drive the Appalachian Trail?	You want to drive the Appalachian Trail?
976	01:12:37,800	01:12:41,725	No, no, just jump ahead. Pick up the trail a little further north.	No, no, just jump ahead. Pick up the trail a little further north.
977	01:12:42,440	01:12:46,126	You know, we can rent a car over here.	You know, we can rent a car over here.
978	01:12:46,440	01:12:48,408	Then we're mobile, we'll see more.	Then we're mobile, we'll see more.
979	01:12:49,440	01:12:51,602	Check out local points of interest.	Check out local points of interest.
980	01:12:53,880	01:12:55,723	Bigger field of vision.	Bigger field of vision.
981	01:12:59,440	01:13:02,649	Bryson, as a friend,	Bryson, as a friend,
982	01:13:03,840	01:13:05,888	do this for me.	do this for me.
983	01:13:29,040	01:13:32,442	Hey, you're not gonna believe the deal I got on this.	Hey, you're not gonna believe the deal I got on this.
984	01:13:33,800	01:13:34,780	Katz...	Katz...
985	01:13:34,880	01:13:38,123	This beauty represents not one, but two upgrades.	This beauty represents not one, but two upgrades.
986	01:13:38,280	01:13:43,286	Satellite radio, leather seats, sunroof. Same price as a Camry.	Satellite radio, leather seats, sunroof. Same price as a Camry.
987	01:13:43,640	01:13:44,660	If you can believe that.	If you can believe that.
988	01:13:44,760	01:13:47,340	Here you go, Mr. Katz. Just three quick initials and you'll be on your way.	Here you go, Mr. Katz. Just three quick initials and you'll be on your way.
989	01:13:47,440	01:13:48,726	We can't do this.	We can't do this.
990	01:13:49,440	01:13:51,010	Of course we can.	Of course we can.
991	01:13:51,120	01:13:52,690	I came out here to accomplish something.	I came out here to accomplish something.
992	01:13:52,840	01:13:54,842	Not to just give up when things got a little tough.	Not to just give up when things got a little tough.
993	01:13:55,800	01:13:57,962	We're not giving up, Bryson.	We're not giving up, Bryson.
994	01:13:58,960	01:14:01,850	What does it matter if we skip the shitty parts?	What does it matter if we skip the shitty parts?
995	01:14:02,520	01:14:04,443	- No one's gonna know. - Well, I will.	- No one's gonna know. - Well, I will.
996	01:14:04,960	01:14:06,849	I'm not a quitter. I know it served you well in your life,	I'm not a quitter. I know it served you well in your life,
997	01:14:07,040	01:14:09,327	- but I finish what I start. - Bryson.	- but I finish what I start. - Bryson.
998	01:14:10,440	01:14:13,364	- Did we not both see the same map? - Yeah.	- Did we not both see the same map? - Yeah.
999	01:14:13,840	01:14:17,208	You have no chance of finishing this trail.	You have no chance of finishing this trail.
1000	01:14:17,520	01:14:20,100	None. Zero. Zilch.	None. Zero. Zilch.
1001	01:14:20,200	01:14:21,690	Well, I'm sure as hell gonna try.	Well, I'm sure as hell gonna try.
1002	01:14:22,240	01:14:24,368	Hike until you die.	Hike until you die.
1003	01:14:24,840	01:14:26,046	Where do I sign up?	Where do I sign up?
1004	01:14:27,040	01:14:31,170	We're two old men, Bryson. You gotta quit thinking otherwise.	We're two old men, Bryson. You gotta quit thinking otherwise.
1005	01:14:31,320	01:14:32,401	Speak for yourself.	Speak for yourself.
1006	01:14:33,320	01:14:37,211	Just because you don't accept something, Bryson, doesn't mean it's not true.	Just because you don't accept something, Bryson, doesn't mean it's not true.
1007	01:14:37,440	01:14:40,300	- Well, that's interesting, coming from you. - Just three initials is all...	- Well, that's interesting, coming from you. - Just three initials is all...
1008	01:14:40,400	01:14:41,820	It's everything with you, Bryson.	It's everything with you, Bryson.
1009	01:14:41,920	01:14:45,561	Christ, if someone asks you where you're from, you can't even answer.	Christ, if someone asks you where you're from, you can't even answer.
1010	01:14:46,880	01:14:48,928	Oh, so I'm the one in denial, huh?	Oh, so I'm the one in denial, huh?
1011	01:14:49,080	01:14:51,651	When you're the one hiding whiskey in your pack.	When you're the one hiding whiskey in your pack.
1012	01:14:51,840	01:14:52,921	- Oh. - I saw the bottle.	- Oh. - I saw the bottle.
1013	01:14:53,400	01:14:56,404	So I guess neither of us can accept who we really are.	So I guess neither of us can accept who we really are.
1014	01:14:56,880	01:14:59,531	Oh, I know who I am and why I'm here.	Oh, I know who I am and why I'm here.
1015	01:15:00,600	01:15:02,220	I came out here to be with you,	I came out here to be with you,
1016	01:15:02,320	01:15:05,244	to sneak in one last adventure before it's too late.	to sneak in one last adventure before it's too late.
1017	01:15:05,520	01:15:07,761	Well, this is my adventure, and you signed on.	Well, this is my adventure, and you signed on.
1018	01:15:08,560	01:15:11,450	You can do whatever you want, but you're not going to drag me down.	You can do whatever you want, but you're not going to drag me down.
1019	01:15:12,240	01:15:14,288	- If you could just use that pen to sign... - Fine!	- If you could just use that pen to sign... - Fine!
1020	01:15:14,400	01:15:16,402	- I don't want your car. - Excuse me?	- I don't want your car. - Excuse me?
1021	01:15:16,600	01:15:19,080	I don't want your goddamn car.	I don't want your goddamn car.
1022	01:15:20,960	01:15:22,371	Fine!	Fine!
1023	01:15:23,600	01:15:26,251	- Well, that's the spirit. - Yeah. Fuck.	- Well, that's the spirit. - Yeah. Fuck.
1024	01:15:32,680	01:15:35,411	I sure am glad we aren't driving right now.	I sure am glad we aren't driving right now.
1025	01:15:36,120	01:15:38,088	- You? - I couldn't be happier.	- You? - I couldn't be happier.
1026	01:15:41,760	01:15:43,250	You know, 50 years ago,	You know, 50 years ago,
1027	01:15:44,640	01:15:47,803	one in every four of these trees was an American Chestnut.	one in every four of these trees was an American Chestnut.
1028	01:15:48,400	01:15:50,971	- You know what that is? You ever seen one? - I think so.	- You know what that is? You ever seen one? - I think so.
1029	01:15:51,800	01:15:53,086	It's incredible.	It's incredible.
1030	01:15:53,240	01:15:56,722	They rise from the forest floor, clear to the top. 100 feet.	They rise from the forest floor, clear to the top. 100 feet.
1031	01:15:57,040	01:16:00,283	And their branches contain an acre of leaves. An acre.	And their branches contain an acre of leaves. An acre.
1032	01:16:01,320	01:16:02,845	You look into these woods	You look into these woods
1033	01:16:03,120	01:16:05,441	and you think they've always been there and always will be,	and you think they've always been there and always will be,
1034	01:16:05,640	01:16:07,404	like this old oak tree here.	like this old oak tree here.
1035	01:16:07,800	01:16:10,849	And then you think about the poor unsuspecting American Chestnut,	And then you think about the poor unsuspecting American Chestnut,
1036	01:16:12,120	01:16:15,727	and think just in a lifetime... Poof. Gone. Just like that.	and think just in a lifetime... Poof. Gone. Just like that.
1037	01:16:19,000	01:16:20,161	What happened to it?	What happened to it?
1038	01:16:20,920	01:16:22,081	A fungus.	A fungus.
1039	01:16:23,080	01:16:25,321	You know. Just, you know, time. Nature.	You know. Just, you know, time. Nature.
1040	01:17:59,600	01:18:02,922	You know, Bryson, I wasn't actually hiding this.	You know, Bryson, I wasn't actually hiding this.
1041	01:18:04,520	01:18:06,921	I wasn't lying about being dry either.	I wasn't lying about being dry either.
1042	01:18:10,000	01:18:15,211	The thing is, Bryson, I love to drink. Everything about it.	The thing is, Bryson, I love to drink. Everything about it.
1043	01:18:16,280	01:18:18,089	I love the taste.	I love the taste.
1044	01:18:18,960	01:18:21,850	And that buzz you get after you've had a couple.	And that buzz you get after you've had a couple.
1045	01:18:22,280	01:18:25,921	I love the smell of the tavern, right down to the urinal cakes.	I love the smell of the tavern, right down to the urinal cakes.
1046	01:18:26,320	01:18:27,446	Hmm.	Hmm.
1047	01:18:27,760	01:18:31,128	But instead of going into the taverns like everybody else,	But instead of going into the taverns like everybody else,
1048	01:18:31,960	01:18:35,726	I go home to my little apartment, and heat my TV dinner,	I go home to my little apartment, and heat my TV dinner,
1049	01:18:36,120	01:18:39,090	and feel all virtuous like I'm supposed to.	and feel all virtuous like I'm supposed to.
1050	01:18:41,640	01:18:45,122	But you know, night after night it's hard to persuade yourself	But you know, night after night it's hard to persuade yourself
1051	01:18:45,240	01:18:48,961	that you're living a rich and thrilling existence.	that you're living a rich and thrilling existence.
1052	01:18:51,560	01:18:54,131	I mean, if they had a fun-o-meter	I mean, if they had a fun-o-meter
1053	01:18:54,600	01:18:58,924	the needle wouldn't exactly be jumping into the orgasmic zone.	the needle wouldn't exactly be jumping into the orgasmic zone.
1054	01:18:59,600	01:19:01,250	You know what I'm saying?	You know what I'm saying?
1055	01:19:05,320	01:19:09,848	I mean, there's just this hole in my life where drinking used to be.	I mean, there's just this hole in my life where drinking used to be.
1056	01:19:12,680	01:19:14,523	I know I can't drink.	I know I can't drink.
1057	01:19:15,960	01:19:18,088	I mean, one drink will lead to 10.	I mean, one drink will lead to 10.
1058	01:19:19,320	01:19:24,360	And the next thing, I'll find myself underneath a bridge somewhere.	And the next thing, I'll find myself underneath a bridge somewhere.
1059	01:19:32,280	01:19:35,170	That's why I carry this.	That's why I carry this.
1060	01:19:35,320	01:19:38,051	To remind myself that I can.	To remind myself that I can.
1061	01:19:40,640	01:19:44,361	Or maybe I carry it in case I can't.	Or maybe I carry it in case I can't.
1062	01:19:46,640	01:19:47,721	Here.	Here.
1063	01:19:49,360	01:19:50,361	Open it.	Open it.
1064	01:19:57,360	01:19:58,805	It's sealed.	It's sealed.
1065	01:20:04,440	01:20:05,680	Give it to me.	Give it to me.
1066	01:20:09,560	01:20:11,005	It's shaking.	It's shaking.
1067	01:20:23,400	01:20:25,140	Do you think I have it in me	Do you think I have it in me
1068	01:20:25,240	01:20:28,403	to never have another drink for the rest of my life?	to never have another drink for the rest of my life?
1069	01:20:32,280	01:20:33,566	Yeah. I do.	Yeah. I do.
1070	01:20:49,000	01:20:50,525	That was a nice moment.	That was a nice moment.
1071	01:20:51,440	01:20:53,283	Real dramatic.	Real dramatic.
1072	01:20:55,760	01:20:58,286	Christ if I don't already regret it.	Christ if I don't already regret it.
1073	01:21:00,480	01:21:01,891	Ain't that life.	Ain't that life.
1074	01:21:17,800	01:21:19,564	Watch it.	Watch it.
1075	01:21:24,400	01:21:29,327	You know, Bryson, I still dream about Amorina. You remember her?	You know, Bryson, I still dream about Amorina. You remember her?
1076	01:21:29,800	01:21:32,963	Oh, God, can't forget a girl like that.	Oh, God, can't forget a girl like that.
1077	01:21:34,320	01:21:37,403	You know guys like us aren't supposed to meet women named Amorina.	You know guys like us aren't supposed to meet women named Amorina.
1078	01:21:38,280	01:21:39,805	Disturbs the natural order.	Disturbs the natural order.
1079	01:21:41,120	01:21:45,330	Still the best boobs I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of boobs, Bryson.	Still the best boobs I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of boobs, Bryson.
1080	01:21:45,440	01:21:46,566	Yeah, I'll bet.	Yeah, I'll bet.
1081	01:21:48,560	01:21:50,005	Hey, you remember her sister?	Hey, you remember her sister?
1082	01:21:50,400	01:21:53,643	Oh, God, that poor girl. They couldn't have been sisters.	Oh, God, that poor girl. They couldn't have been sisters.
1083	01:21:54,240	01:21:56,208	If you're going to be ugly, you better be funny.	If you're going to be ugly, you better be funny.
1084	01:21:56,320	01:21:58,527	And if you're ugly and you're not funny, you better have money.	And if you're ugly and you're not funny, you better have money.
1085	01:21:58,840	01:22:02,526	And if you're zero for three, you better be slutty.	And if you're zero for three, you better be slutty.
1086	01:22:04,320	01:22:08,370	- She was. - Wait a minute, how did you know that, huh?	- She was. - Wait a minute, how did you know that, huh?
1087	01:22:08,560	01:22:09,721	Well, actually...	Well, actually...
1088	01:22:28,040	01:22:29,530	Jesus Christ.	Jesus Christ.
1089	01:22:31,360	01:22:34,842	Next time you do that, let me know, okay?	Next time you do that, let me know, okay?
1090	01:22:36,400	01:22:38,050	It's more fun if it's a surprise.	It's more fun if it's a surprise.
1091	01:22:41,680	01:22:42,940	- You all right? - You okay?	- You all right? - You okay?
1092	01:22:43,040	01:22:44,166	Yeah.	Yeah.
1093	01:22:52,200	01:22:53,486	Jesus.	Jesus.
1094	01:23:09,000	01:23:10,206	Oh...	Oh...
1095	01:23:16,880	01:23:18,166	We are fucked.	We are fucked.
1096	01:23:19,920	01:23:21,410	Monumentally.	Monumentally.
1097	01:23:28,920	01:23:30,490	There's no way out over here.	There's no way out over here.
1098	01:23:34,320	01:23:35,560	Uh...	Uh...
1099	01:23:35,760	01:23:38,127	- What are you doing? - I'm gonna get us out of here.	- What are you doing? - I'm gonna get us out of here.
1100	01:23:41,480	01:23:43,209	- Give me your pants. - Uh, no, no.	- Give me your pants. - Uh, no, no.
1101	01:23:43,920	01:23:45,780	You've been planning this the whole time, Bryson.	You've been planning this the whole time, Bryson.
1102	01:23:45,880	01:23:47,848	Just give me your pants, okay?	Just give me your pants, okay?
1103	01:23:49,440	01:23:50,601	Okay.	Okay.
1104	01:24:05,960	01:24:08,531	Okay. Knot this thing.	Okay. Knot this thing.
1105	01:24:12,480	01:24:13,811	- All right? - Okay.	- All right? - Okay.
1106	01:24:14,760	01:24:15,886	Here we go.	Here we go.
1107	01:24:23,600	01:24:26,570	It is embarrassing, Bryson. Give me that thing.	It is embarrassing, Bryson. Give me that thing.
1108	01:24:41,440	01:24:43,807	You gotta admit, pretty good aim, though, huh?	You gotta admit, pretty good aim, though, huh?
1109	01:24:44,840	01:24:47,810	Yeah. But you're supposed to hold on to one end of it.	Yeah. But you're supposed to hold on to one end of it.
1110	01:24:48,360	01:24:52,445	Well, you know, it's not that high.	Well, you know, it's not that high.
1111	01:24:53,240	01:24:56,050	Here, I got it. You see this? You could come up here.	Here, I got it. You see this? You could come up here.
1112	01:24:56,240	01:24:59,562	I'll be around like this and you could climb up on my shoulders.	I'll be around like this and you could climb up on my shoulders.
1113	01:25:01,360	01:25:03,010	- Wanna try it? - Okay.	- Wanna try it? - Okay.
1114	01:25:06,120	01:25:07,167	Okay. Hang on.	Okay. Hang on.
1115	01:25:13,040	01:25:14,020	- Okay? - Yeah.	- Okay? - Yeah.
1116	01:25:14,120	01:25:15,724	We can make it. Hold...	We can make it. Hold...
1117	01:25:16,360	01:25:19,409	- You all right? What? - Yeah, hang on. You know...	- You all right? What? - Yeah, hang on. You know...
1118	01:25:20,800	01:25:24,521	This isn't... You've got to get lower, so I can get on your shoulders.	This isn't... You've got to get lower, so I can get on your shoulders.
1119	01:25:26,800	01:25:28,211	Fuck. Fine.	Fuck. Fine.
1120	01:25:34,880	01:25:35,881	Okay.	Okay.
1121	01:25:36,000	01:25:37,161	- Okay? - Yeah.	- Okay? - Yeah.
1122	01:25:38,680	01:25:41,923	Okay. There we go.	Okay. There we go.
1123	01:25:44,240	01:25:46,561	Bryson, I really don't like this.	Bryson, I really don't like this.
1124	01:25:46,680	01:25:49,763	No, no, it's good, it's good. Now, you stand up. Stand up.	No, no, it's good, it's good. Now, you stand up. Stand up.
1125	01:25:57,280	01:25:58,520	Jesus!	Jesus!
1126	01:25:59,560	01:26:00,721	Who are we kidding?	Who are we kidding?
1127	01:26:00,840	01:26:04,561	For Christ's sake, I can't even get myself up from that position.	For Christ's sake, I can't even get myself up from that position.
1128	01:26:04,800	01:26:08,043	- All right, then. I'll stand on your back. - How about I stand on your back?	- All right, then. I'll stand on your back. - How about I stand on your back?
1129	01:26:14,160	01:26:15,366	You know,	You know,
1130	01:26:16,560	01:26:17,971	I think we're really stuck here.	I think we're really stuck here.
1131	01:26:20,240	01:26:22,083	Yeah. Yeah, we are.	Yeah. Yeah, we are.
1132	01:26:26,960	01:26:28,883	You know, on the East coast hardwoods are dying.	You know, on the East coast hardwoods are dying.
1133	01:26:31,120	01:26:33,122	Not just the chestnut,	Not just the chestnut,
1134	01:26:33,720	01:26:35,882	but the elm's on its way, too, you know.	but the elm's on its way, too, you know.
1135	01:26:37,920	01:26:40,366	Fifty years, this could all be gone.	Fifty years, this could all be gone.
1136	01:26:42,160	01:26:43,764	Thirty days.	Thirty days.
1137	01:26:44,960	01:26:46,060	Hmm?	Hmm?
1138	01:26:46,160	01:26:50,290	Thirty days in jail. I was afraid of 30 days.	Thirty days in jail. I was afraid of 30 days.
1139	01:26:51,000	01:26:53,446	Compared to this,	Compared to this,
1140	01:26:54,560	01:26:58,042	I mean, it's like a goddamned trip to the spa.	I mean, it's like a goddamned trip to the spa.
1141	01:27:02,800	01:27:06,020	God, all I've done is write forewords for books	God, all I've done is write forewords for books
1142	01:27:06,120	01:27:07,531	for the last four and a half years.	for the last four and a half years.
1143	01:27:09,160	01:27:10,300	I should have just retired.	I should have just retired.
1144	01:27:10,400	01:27:13,165	Catherine was right, what the hell am I trying to prove?	Catherine was right, what the hell am I trying to prove?
1145	01:27:15,280	01:27:18,648	Women love a felony record.	Women love a felony record.
1146	01:27:20,200	01:27:24,171	Maybe not up in New Hampshire, where you are.	Maybe not up in New Hampshire, where you are.
1147	01:27:25,280	01:27:29,046	But in Des Moines, it would have served me well.	But in Des Moines, it would have served me well.
1148	01:27:29,960	01:27:31,325	Do you just get to the point where	Do you just get to the point where
1149	01:27:32,320	01:27:36,006	it's all about ailments, and medications, and funerals,	it's all about ailments, and medications, and funerals,
1150	01:27:36,680	01:27:39,126	and who's being diagnosed with what,	and who's being diagnosed with what,
1151	01:27:40,400	01:27:42,846	and everyone's just waiting around for the end.	and everyone's just waiting around for the end.
1152	01:27:44,160	01:27:45,940	- Holy shit. - What?	- Holy shit. - What?
1153	01:27:46,040	01:27:49,886	I just realized, we're the guy in the article.	I just realized, we're the guy in the article.
1154	01:27:51,240	01:27:55,370	You know, the, uh, decomposed guy. Remember that?	You know, the, uh, decomposed guy. Remember that?
1155	01:27:56,040	01:27:57,405	That'll be us.	That'll be us.
1156	01:27:58,120	01:28:00,771	How long does it take a body to decompose?	How long does it take a body to decompose?
1157	01:28:01,640	01:28:03,404	Well, you don't have to worry.	Well, you don't have to worry.
1158	01:28:03,640	01:28:07,060	You're so chock-full of preservatives, you'll be on this ledge forever.	You're so chock-full of preservatives, you'll be on this ledge forever.
1159	01:28:09,280	01:28:13,922	Well, scientists will come from all over the world to study me, you know.	Well, scientists will come from all over the world to study me, you know.
1160	01:28:15,480	01:28:16,891	I miss Catherine.	I miss Catherine.
1161	01:28:17,360	01:28:19,169	I miss Des Moines.	I miss Des Moines.
1162	01:28:19,720	01:28:23,884	You know, I haven't missed a State Fair in 39 years.	You know, I haven't missed a State Fair in 39 years.
1163	01:28:25,880	01:28:29,248	I always say, "When I miss one,	I always say, "When I miss one,
1164	01:28:31,240	01:28:32,500	"I'll be dead."	"I'll be dead."
1165	01:28:32,600	01:28:35,660	You know, she makes this little sound whenever I hug her.	You know, she makes this little sound whenever I hug her.
1166	01:28:35,760	01:28:37,524	I don't even think she knows it.	I don't even think she knows it.
1167	01:28:39,200	01:28:42,443	I've never told her how much I love that.	I've never told her how much I love that.
1168	01:28:46,320	01:28:50,405	I just don't want her to think this trip had anything to do with her.	I just don't want her to think this trip had anything to do with her.
1169	01:28:51,800	01:28:53,245	She knows.	She knows.
1170	01:28:54,640	01:28:58,361	Believe me, women have a way of knowing these things.	Believe me, women have a way of knowing these things.
1171	01:28:59,240	01:29:01,129	Yeah, but still, I'd like to tell her.	Yeah, but still, I'd like to tell her.
1172	01:29:03,760	01:29:05,569	Well, write her a note.	Well, write her a note.
1173	01:29:06,920	01:29:08,809	People love to get notes.	People love to get notes.
1174	01:29:11,760	01:29:13,489	- Hey, you know, you're right. - Yeah.	- Hey, you know, you're right. - Yeah.
1175	01:29:14,960	01:29:16,371	Hey, that's a great idea.	Hey, that's a great idea.
1176	01:29:26,080	01:29:31,291	You know, Bryson, you're the only guy I'd risk my life with.	You know, Bryson, you're the only guy I'd risk my life with.
1177	01:29:33,120	01:29:34,610	I want you to know that.	I want you to know that.
1178	01:29:38,320	01:29:42,325	And the only asshole who can get me out on a ledge in the middle of nowhere.	And the only asshole who can get me out on a ledge in the middle of nowhere.
1179	01:29:46,960	01:29:48,644	I'm sorry we lost touch.	I'm sorry we lost touch.
1180	01:29:52,520	01:29:54,329	I know. Yeah, me too.	I know. Yeah, me too.
1181	01:30:03,360	01:30:06,011	Goddamned gorgeous night.	Goddamned gorgeous night.
1182	01:30:09,560	01:30:11,005	It sure is.	It sure is.
1183	01:30:11,840	01:30:14,320	You think there's anyone else on Earth	You think there's anyone else on Earth
1184	01:30:15,000	01:30:18,846	looking up at the sky and seeing as many stars as we are?	looking up at the sky and seeing as many stars as we are?
1185	01:30:20,120	01:30:21,360	I don't know.	I don't know.
1186	01:30:24,960	01:30:27,281	I gotta be looking at a million.	I gotta be looking at a million.
1187	01:30:29,640	01:30:31,802	The naked eye can see 2,000.	The naked eye can see 2,000.
1188	01:30:34,120	01:30:38,250	Well, then I really got great eyes 'cause I'm looking at a million.	Well, then I really got great eyes 'cause I'm looking at a million.
1189	01:30:40,360	01:30:43,728	Alpha Centauri's the closest. That's four and a half light years away.	Alpha Centauri's the closest. That's four and a half light years away.
1190	01:30:45,000	01:30:47,082	Four and a half? That's not bad.	Four and a half? That's not bad.
1191	01:30:47,480	01:30:50,484	Each light year is six trillion miles, so that's...	Each light year is six trillion miles, so that's...
1192	01:30:52,160	01:30:54,208	twenty six trillion miles.	twenty six trillion miles.
1193	01:30:55,200	01:30:58,682	- Twenty-six trillion. That's the closest? - Yep.	- Twenty-six trillion. That's the closest? - Yep.
1194	01:30:59,520	01:31:03,320	And there's one hundred billion stars in our galaxy.	And there's one hundred billion stars in our galaxy.
1195	01:31:04,720	01:31:08,088	There's more galaxies in the universe than there are grains of sand on earth.	There's more galaxies in the universe than there are grains of sand on earth.
1196	01:31:10,000	01:31:11,445	That is big.	That is big.
1197	01:31:16,880	01:31:19,201	- And we are small. - Yeah.	- And we are small. - Yeah.
1198	01:31:44,200	01:31:45,406	What the...	What the...
1199	01:31:47,080	01:31:48,366	People?	People?
1200	01:31:49,440	01:31:51,920	People? People?	People? People?
1201	01:31:53,160	01:31:54,605	- People? - People?	- People? - People?
1202	01:31:57,560	01:31:58,800	People! Hello!	People! Hello!
1203	01:31:59,280	01:32:01,931	- Hello! Hello, down here! - Hello!	- Hello! Hello, down here! - Hello!
1204	01:32:02,440	01:32:03,965	Help, please!	Help, please!
1205	01:32:05,080	01:32:06,127	Help!	Help!
1206	01:32:11,640	01:32:12,926	Hey, down there.	Hey, down there.
1207	01:32:14,120	01:32:15,201	You've got to be shitting me.	You've got to be shitting me.
1208	01:32:16,240	01:32:17,446	What happened to your pants?	What happened to your pants?
1209	01:32:18,640	01:32:21,291	- Uh, it's a long story. - Copy that.	- Uh, it's a long story. - Copy that.
1210	01:32:22,000	01:32:24,082	You guys just stay put. We'll get you out of there.	You guys just stay put. We'll get you out of there.
1211	01:32:27,120	01:32:28,690	- Nice fellas. - Yeah.	- Nice fellas. - Yeah.
1212	01:32:30,120	01:32:32,327	- I love those guys. - Me, too.	- I love those guys. - Me, too.
1213	01:32:43,280	01:32:46,011	- You still got some of that jerky? - Yeah.	- You still got some of that jerky? - Yeah.
1214	01:32:47,240	01:32:48,700	You still good on water?	You still good on water?
1215	01:32:48,800	01:32:51,963	- About three-quarters. You? - Yeah, same.	- About three-quarters. You? - Yeah, same.
1216	01:33:00,640	01:33:02,051	- Hey, Stephen? - Yeah?	- Hey, Stephen? - Yeah?
1217	01:33:03,040	01:33:04,405	Do you want to go home?	Do you want to go home?
1218	01:33:09,400	01:33:12,802	Yeah, I do. I really do.	Yeah, I do. I really do.
1219	01:33:22,720	01:33:24,484	We weren't even close, were we?	We weren't even close, were we?
1220	01:33:24,800	01:33:28,009	What are you talking about? We did it, Bryson.	What are you talking about? We did it, Bryson.
1221	01:33:28,960	01:33:31,406	We never even laid eyes on Mount Katahdin.	We never even laid eyes on Mount Katahdin.
1222	01:33:32,040	01:33:35,900	Another mountain? How many mountains do you need to see?	Another mountain? How many mountains do you need to see?
1223	01:33:38,080	01:33:41,402	- That's one way of looking at it. - That's the only way of looking at it.	- That's one way of looking at it. - That's the only way of looking at it.
1224	01:33:42,080	01:33:45,562	As far as I'm concerned, we walked the Appalachian Trail.	As far as I'm concerned, we walked the Appalachian Trail.
1225	01:33:45,680	01:33:47,940	We walked it in the heat, we walked it in the snow,	We walked it in the heat, we walked it in the snow,
1226	01:33:48,040	01:33:50,122	we walked it until our feet bled.	we walked it until our feet bled.
1227	01:33:51,160	01:33:54,369	We hiked the Appalachian Trail, Bryson.	We hiked the Appalachian Trail, Bryson.
1228	01:33:57,760	01:33:59,250	Maybe you're right.	Maybe you're right.
1229	01:34:15,600	01:34:17,682	- You guys called a cab? All right. - Yeah.	- You guys called a cab? All right. - Yeah.
1230	01:34:18,400	01:34:20,164	This thing's heavy. You been carrying it awhile?	This thing's heavy. You been carrying it awhile?
1231	01:34:20,320	01:34:21,970	All the way from Georgia.	All the way from Georgia.
1232	01:34:22,240	01:34:25,403	You don't say. Good for you, fellas. Hey, where you guys from?	You don't say. Good for you, fellas. Hey, where you guys from?
1233	01:34:25,760	01:34:26,966	Iowa.	Iowa.
1234	01:34:28,120	01:34:29,406	That's not possible.	That's not possible.
1235	01:34:29,600	01:34:32,922	No such thing as a Red Sox fan from Iowa.	No such thing as a Red Sox fan from Iowa.
1236	01:34:42,720	01:34:44,085	Here you go.	Here you go.
1237	01:34:45,800	01:34:48,406	"Dearest Catherine..." That's as far as you got?	"Dearest Catherine..." That's as far as you got?
1238	01:34:49,760	01:34:51,444	It's lucky we were saved.	It's lucky we were saved.
1239	01:34:52,520	01:34:54,761	There are certain things you just can't put into words.	There are certain things you just can't put into words.
1240	01:34:58,120	01:34:59,610	Safe journey, okay?	Safe journey, okay?
1241	01:34:59,960	01:35:01,121	Yeah.	Yeah.
1242	01:35:13,240	01:35:15,208	You still owe me 600 bucks.	You still owe me 600 bucks.
1243	01:35:15,920	01:35:17,729	You know I'm good for it, right?	You know I'm good for it, right?
1244	01:35:18,440	01:35:19,487	Oh, yeah.	Oh, yeah.
1245	01:35:46,520	01:35:48,045	Remember me?	Remember me?
1246	01:35:55,320	01:35:57,163	Oh.	Oh.
1247	01:36:38,320	01:36:42,211	She had one hell of a stack of pancakes. Katz.	She had one hell of a stack of pancakes. Katz.
1248	01:36:45,560	01:36:46,846	I hate your guts.	I hate your guts.
1249	01:36:51,600	01:36:54,729	Never buy underpants for a woman you don't know.	Never buy underpants for a woman you don't know.
1250	01:36:58,560	01:37:00,403	Fuckers still didn't get me.	Fuckers still didn't get me.
1251	01:37:06,760	01:37:09,570	Bryson, just wondering, what's next?	Bryson, just wondering, what's next?