1 00:00:03,786 --> 00:00:05,701 Checkmate. You lose. 2 00:00:05,744 --> 00:00:09,618 5,730-year half-life of carbon-14 3 00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:11,228 is used as a geochronometer. 4 00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:12,664 Anything else you'd like to add? 5 00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:15,145 I read this magazine. 6 00:00:15,189 --> 00:00:16,842 Why won't you compete with me? 7 00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:19,149 Because it's fun watching you get upset. 8 00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:20,324 What's fun about it? 9 00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:22,022 Everything. 10 00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:26,069 I've never been good at sharing. 11 00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:28,941 I had to share a womb... Ow. 12 00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:30,247 Ow. 13 00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:33,163 ...a bedroom... 14 00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:43,043 Even my train room had Georgie's sweaty weight bench in it. 15 00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:45,828 Come on, George. One more. 16 00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:47,699 Feel the burn, big boy. 17 00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,658 Feel the burn. 18 00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:53,618 But when it came to academics, the spotlight was all mine. 19 00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:55,838 Sheldon, having you here has been a real boon 20 00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:57,361 to this university. 21 00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:01,017 I did love basking in its glow. 22 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,063 So we could really use your help 23 00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:05,543 in raising the school's profile even higher. 24 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:08,546 Of course. My intellect is at your service. 25 00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:09,721 Excellent. 26 00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:11,636 There is another young physics prodigy 27 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,638 we want you to help us recruit. 28 00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:15,162 Her name is Paige Swanson. 29 00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:37,662 Why would you want Paige to come here? 30 00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:38,837 You know her? 31 00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:40,143 Oh, I know her. 32 00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:41,536 Ah. Wonderful. 33 00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:42,841 Just tell her how much you love the school 34 00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:44,713 and convince her to enroll. 35 00:01:44,756 --> 00:01:46,149 But you don't need another child prodigy. 36 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:47,585 You've already got me. 37 00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:50,022 And you have been... so great. 38 00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:52,503 Just imagine what it'd be like having two of you. 39 00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:54,070 Well, why would you want two of me? 40 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,768 I mean, I've heard even one of me is a lot to handle. 41 00:01:56,812 --> 00:01:59,597 Well, you're not afraid of a little competition, are you? 42 00:01:59,641 --> 00:02:00,990 From Paige? Hardly. 43 00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:04,036 But I should warn you, she can be very difficult. 44 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:07,562 Well, luckily I've had some practice with that lately. 45 00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:08,606 And how do you handle it? 46 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,872 Usually I, uh, play to their egos. 47 00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:16,701 You know, make them feel like the smartest person in the room. 48 00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:18,703 And they fall for that? 49 00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:20,270 Well... 50 00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:22,403 not everyone's as smart as you, Sheldon. 51 00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:27,059 Okay, have a great day. Love you. 52 00:02:28,104 --> 00:02:29,061 Love you, too. 53 00:02:29,105 --> 00:02:30,541 What are you doing? 54 00:02:30,585 --> 00:02:32,239 I learned it in baseball. 55 00:02:32,282 --> 00:02:34,371 When you don't want the other team to see what you're saying. 56 00:02:34,415 --> 00:02:37,069 It's okay to love your mom. 57 00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:39,071 At home. Here, you get the hand. 58 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,249 Hey, Mary. 59 00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:44,251 Oh, Brenda. 60 00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,643 Love the haircut. 61 00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:46,992 Thank you. 62 00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:48,733 I was always afraid to go short, 63 00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:50,474 but I figured I already lost a husband. 64 00:02:50,518 --> 00:02:52,389 What's a few inches off the top? 65 00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:54,565 Well, you look like a new person. 66 00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:56,176 I feel like a new person. 67 00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:57,307 I just needed to do 68 00:02:57,351 --> 00:02:58,656 something for me. 69 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:01,659 It was either this or get a tattoo on my thigh. 70 00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:04,009 I think you made the right choice. 71 00:03:04,053 --> 00:03:05,315 Well, I guess. 72 00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:07,274 I mean, who's seeing me naked these days? 73 00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:10,015 Well, I wouldn't know. 74 00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:19,677 Hey, Mary. What are you doing here? 75 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,766 I don't know. I was just out running errands 76 00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:23,942 and thought maybe I'd make an appointment. 77 00:03:23,986 --> 00:03:27,119 Well, chair's free now. Come on, have a seat. 78 00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:29,905 Oh, um, o-okay. 79 00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:32,864 Okay. What can I do for you? 80 00:03:32,908 --> 00:03:35,650 Well, I guess I'm just looking for a change. 81 00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:36,955 Uh-oh. 82 00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:38,827 What's "uh-oh"? 83 00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:41,046 Well, nothing, it's just, when the women come in 84 00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:43,962 looking for a change, it's usually relationship trouble. 85 00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,442 Oh... 86 00:03:45,486 --> 00:03:48,880 Well, not me. I'm fine. 87 00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:51,405 Okay, but I got a perm and a divorce in the same week 88 00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,450 and I only regret one of them. 89 00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:56,497 Maybe this is a bad idea. I should come back. 90 00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,455 No, no, no, no. Come on, you're already here. 91 00:03:58,499 --> 00:04:00,457 Either way, there's nothing wrong 92 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:01,806 in a little change. 93 00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:03,460 Okay. Uh... 94 00:04:03,504 --> 00:04:05,375 What do you think I should do? 95 00:04:05,419 --> 00:04:07,638 Well, when you look at yourself in the mirror, 96 00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:08,987 who do you see? 97 00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:14,166 I see a mom and... a wife. 98 00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:16,865 Okay, that's the hair you already got. 99 00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:18,997 Who do you want to see? 100 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,912 Oh, um... 101 00:04:23,088 --> 00:04:24,873 Maybe we start with the nails. 102 00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:26,831 That's a great idea. Yeah. 103 00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:30,182 So now I'm supposed to talk Paige into coming to my school. 104 00:04:30,226 --> 00:04:31,445 Maybe it'll be nice to have somebody 105 00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:32,837 your own age to hang out with. 106 00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:34,839 Sure, so the next time someone says, 107 00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,493 "Hey, look what the kid genius did," people will say, 108 00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:38,103 "Which one? There's so many." 109 00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:41,106 I thought you and that little girl were friends. 110 00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:43,326 Missy's her friend. I'm her rival. 111 00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,676 Well, I think you're getting worked up about nothing. 112 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,896 Maybe she won't even decide to come to this school. 113 00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:52,030 Oh, I see where you're going. 114 00:04:52,074 --> 00:04:53,815 I should convince her it's a terrible school. 115 00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:55,033 That's brilliant. 116 00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:56,774 That's not where I was going. 117 00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:58,559 Too late, I'm already there. 118 00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:05,305 What are you doing? 119 00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,743 Look at me and tell me what you see. 120 00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:12,050 What? 121 00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:14,052 Did you get a haircut? Looks great. 122 00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:15,445 No, I didn't get a haircut. 123 00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,578 'Cause you don't need one. Looking good, babe. 124 00:05:17,621 --> 00:05:19,101 Lord. 125 00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:22,583 Just tell me what you see when you look at me. 126 00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:27,109 I don't know what's going on, but this feels like a trap. 127 00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:30,547 I went to the salon to get a haircut. 128 00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,941 Knew it, looking foxy. 129 00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:36,292 But I didn't get one because I don't know what I want. 130 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,250 Oh. 131 00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:41,253 You know who's got good hair? Charlene Tilton. 132 00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:42,603 Who? 133 00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:43,908 That little blonde one on Dallas. 134 00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:45,954 People make a fuss over Victoria Principal, 135 00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:47,303 but Charlene Tilton... 136 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,435 You're not helping me, George. 137 00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:52,613 I knew this was a trap. 138 00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:55,790 I must tell you that Sheldon was very excited 139 00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:58,401 to hear that you might be joining us. 140 00:05:58,445 --> 00:05:59,794 Well, isn't he sweet? 141 00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:01,404 He's a peach. 142 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,406 All right, I'm here. Hello, hello. 143 00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:04,842 Hello. 144 00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:07,062 Hi, Sheldon. I'm so excited for you 145 00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:08,411 to show me around campus today. 146 00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:09,934 The only reason I'm doing it is because... 147 00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:12,372 He's excited to do it, I'm excited he's doing it. 148 00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,199 Are you excited?Sure. 149 00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:15,636 Everyone's excited. Yay. 150 00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:18,595 Come on, let's go. 151 00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:21,685 You and me, together again. 152 00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:23,165 It just feels right, doesn't it? 153 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:26,951 There's the cafeteria. 154 00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:29,345 If you like tuna salad with hair in it. 155 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,695 Over there is the quad. It's a nice place to relax, 156 00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:33,915 if you like getting hit in the head with Frisbees. 157 00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:35,917 I know what you're doing.No, you don't. 158 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,527 You have nothing to worry about. 159 00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,311 I don't want to come to this school. 160 00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:40,965 I'm just looking at it to make my mom happy 161 00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:42,184 since it's close to home. 162 00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:44,360 Well, that's wonderful news. 163 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,797 Besides, I've got offers from way better universities. 164 00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:49,496 What do you mean? What's wrong with this school? 165 00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:51,454 It's fine. It's just nowhere near as good 166 00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:52,977 as Harvard or Columbia. 167 00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:54,892 It is too. 168 00:06:54,936 --> 00:06:57,286 If you like a substandard science department 169 00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:58,896 and hair in your tuna. 170 00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:04,815 Paige had made me look at East Texas Tech 171 00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,991 in a whole new light. 172 00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,188 Of course. 173 00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:47,075 She said she doesn't even want to come to this university. 174 00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:48,511 Well, I hope you convinced her otherwise. 175 00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:51,383 She said she'd rather go to Harvard or Columbia. 176 00:07:51,427 --> 00:07:53,385 T-Those are all perfectly fine schools, 177 00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:55,431 but we have a lot to offer here, too. 178 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,215 I told her that, but she said I was settling 179 00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:58,869 because I want to live close to my mommy. 180 00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,262 Well, that's ridiculous. 181 00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:02,264 That's why I came here to tell on her. 182 00:08:02,307 --> 00:08:05,920 Well, the important thing is you're here and you're happy. 183 00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:08,009 I thought I was, but why does Paige 184 00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:09,793 get to go to a better school than me? 185 00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:12,753 Hey, I know what'll solve your problem. 186 00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:14,537 Convince Paige to come here. 187 00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:16,496 Yeah. Wait. 188 00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:20,238 Sometimes I think George doesn't even see me. 189 00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:21,718 And it's not just him. 190 00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:23,459 My daughter's embarrassed of me, 191 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,897 my boys think all I'm good for is food and clean clothes. 192 00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:28,508 You start feeling like a ghost, right? 193 00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:29,421 Yes. 194 00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:30,901 I get it, I'm a mom. 195 00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:34,078 So did that feeling ever go away? 196 00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,558 Yeah. 197 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:38,779 I realized I was doing everything for everyone else, 198 00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:41,085 and I didn't have anything left for me. 199 00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:43,348 So, here we are. 200 00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:48,136 When I was younger, I used to love making my own clothes. 201 00:08:48,179 --> 00:08:49,529 Mm-hmm.I always thought I'd do 202 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,008 something with that. 203 00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:52,749 Maybe I should get back to it. 204 00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,142 You definitely should. 205 00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:55,839 Okay. 206 00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:58,581 Okay. So, what are we thinking? 207 00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:02,977 Actually, I don't think I need a haircut anymore. 208 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,805 Thank you so much. 209 00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:06,633 Oh, my pleasure. 210 00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:11,986 I got to start charging by the hour. 211 00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,470 What are you doing? 212 00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:19,950 I'm sewing. 213 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:21,299 Why? 214 00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:23,388 Because it's a thing I like to do. 215 00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:25,477 I ain't never seen you sew. 216 00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:27,305 Well, you're seeing it now. 217 00:09:27,349 --> 00:09:28,959 What you making? 218 00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,787 A dress for Missy. 219 00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:33,660 Did you lose your job? 220 00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:34,791 No. 221 00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:36,576 Did Dad lose his job? 222 00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:39,840 It's about me doing something for myself. 223 00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:41,668 All right, don't get sassy. 224 00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:42,712 Hey. 225 00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:45,802 What's going on in here? 226 00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:48,152 She's making clothes for Missy. 227 00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:49,980 Uh-oh. Did you lose your job? 228 00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:50,981 No. 229 00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:53,070 She's doing something for her. 230 00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:56,073 I don't get it, either. 231 00:09:58,075 --> 00:09:59,163 Ooh, maybe I'll transfer 232 00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:00,817 to the University of Zurich. 233 00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:02,558 I thought you liked your school. 234 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,734 I did, until Paige ruined it. 235 00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:06,214 Why do you care what she thinks? 236 00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:07,258 I don't. 237 00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:08,912 Sure sounds like you do. 238 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:12,002 I can't help it. She makes me crazy. 239 00:10:12,046 --> 00:10:13,525 Then stop thinking about her. 240 00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:14,701 I wish I could. 241 00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:17,181 Ooh, maybe you have a crush on her. 242 00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:19,357 That's ridiculous. 243 00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:21,011 I don't know. 244 00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:22,752 I don't. 245 00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:25,537 You care what she thinks, you can't stop talking about her. 246 00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:26,713 I don't have a crush on her! 247 00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,105 Are you sure? 248 00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:29,585 I don't know! 249 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,855 Okay, here we go. 250 00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:41,684 "Is it a crush? Take this juicy quiz and find out. 251 00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:44,295 Do you think about them when they're not around?" 252 00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:45,819 Lately, yes. 253 00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:48,256 "Are you jealous when other people give them attention?" 254 00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:50,127 I suppose I am. 255 00:10:50,171 --> 00:10:51,912 "Do you get nervous when you're around them?" 256 00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:55,132 How could I not? Last time she punched me, in the face. 257 00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:56,743 That was so great. 258 00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,570 "Do you talk about them all the time?" 259 00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:00,529 That's a big fat yes. 260 00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:02,270 "Do you dream about them?" 261 00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:04,185 Oh, dear. 262 00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:05,969 Just last night I had a nightmare that she solved 263 00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:08,145 the Einstein field equations ahead of me. 264 00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:10,104 That's five out of five. 265 00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:12,672 "You're crushing harder than Zack on Kelly Kapowski." 266 00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:15,109 Uh, what does that mean? 267 00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:17,807 Trust me, that's a big deal. 268 00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:20,462 My sister had gotten into my head, but I needed 269 00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:23,334 a more reliable opinion than a magazine that included 270 00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:25,989 the Hottest Tips for Pouty Lips. 271 00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:26,990 Georgie? 272 00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:28,470 What? 273 00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:30,994 Can I ask you a question about girls? 274 00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:33,780 Go ahead, but I find them very confusing. 275 00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:36,173 Missy thinks I have a crush on Paige. 276 00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:37,522 Do you? 277 00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:40,787 I don't know, but I know that I don't want to. 278 00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:43,354 Well, you don't get to choose. 279 00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:44,965 It's just something you feel. 280 00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:47,228 Did you have a crush on your girlfriend? 281 00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:48,795 Yeah, I guess. 282 00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:50,492 How did you know when you did? 283 00:11:50,535 --> 00:11:53,277 Well, one day she came to school in these soccer shorts, 284 00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:54,801 and that was it. 285 00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:57,020 What happened, you played soccer with her? 286 00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,326 No, dummy. 287 00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:00,371 Then what was the significance of the shorts? 288 00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:02,983 I don't think I can help you. 289 00:12:03,026 --> 00:12:04,245 Fine, I'll ask Dad. 290 00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:05,246 Good luck. The only thing 291 00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:06,900 he has a crush on is beer. 292 00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:09,076 I wasn't getting the help I needed, 293 00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:12,601 so I turned to the smartest resource I knew. 294 00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:14,995 Love is a funny thing. 295 00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:17,606 They say, "The heart wants what the heart wants," 296 00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:19,521 but I think it should be, 297 00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:23,612 "The limbic system wants what the limbic system wants." 298 00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:26,397 Finally, someone's making sense. 299 00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:29,836 Well, not to brag, but when it comes to unrequited love, 300 00:12:29,879 --> 00:12:32,012 I'm kind of an expert. 301 00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:34,884 Well, when I talk to Paige, all she does is drive me crazy. 302 00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:39,019 There's a thin line between affection and aggravation. 303 00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:41,499 The Roman poet Catullus said, 304 00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:46,113 "I hate and I love and I know not why." 305 00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:48,202 I'm not sure what to make of that. 306 00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:50,247 Perhaps it'd be more useful in Latin. 307 00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:51,945 "Odi et amo..." 308 00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:54,469 I just want to know if I have a crush. 309 00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:55,818 Well, does your heart rate elevate 310 00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,254 when you're in her presence? 311 00:12:58,299 --> 00:12:59,256 I suppose. 312 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:01,302 Does your stomach flutter? 313 00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:03,130 Yes. 314 00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:07,047 Sounds like your limbic system might be doing its thing. 315 00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,092 Oh, dear. 316 00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:13,880 Hey.Hey. 317 00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:15,751 That's a lot of fabric. 318 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,057 Oh, it's not just fabric. 319 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,668 I also got pattern books and an accessory kit. 320 00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:23,846 Can I ask how much that all cost? 321 00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,892 Well, it's hard to say, because in the long run 322 00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:27,589 I'm gonna save us money. 323 00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:30,505 Well, what did it cost in the short run? 324 00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,507 I don't know, a hundred dollars? 325 00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:36,337 A hundred dollars? What is wrong with you? 326 00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,078 Why would you say that? 327 00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,775 That is a good question. 328 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,646 I mean, what is wrong with you? 329 00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,648 Why is it okay when you say it? 330 00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,650 'Cause clearly there's something wrong with you. 331 00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,609 So you think it's fine that she spent 332 00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:50,133 a hundred dollars on thread? 333 00:13:50,177 --> 00:13:52,788 I think it's fine that she has something that makes her happy. 334 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:55,965 What are you looking for? 335 00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:57,271 Anybody but you. 336 00:13:58,315 --> 00:14:00,056 Look, I get it. 337 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:03,277 One time, Darlene got all into scrapbooking. 338 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,106 Overnight, our den became her scrapbooking room. 339 00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:07,934 What did you do? 340 00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:09,283 I said, "Whatever makes you happy, dear," 341 00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:11,502 and made love to her in the scrapbooking room. 342 00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:12,721 Ha. 343 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,335 Maybe if you had three kids, you'd worry more about money. 344 00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,642 Oh, we can't wait to have babies. 345 00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:23,558 I just love the way their little heads smell. 346 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:26,822 Does anybody in here want to be my friend? 347 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,737 Anybody? 348 00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:32,306 Look, Sheldon, you're not gonna convince me to come here. 349 00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:33,655 You're wasting your time. 350 00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:37,702 I'm afraid we have a bigger problem. 351 00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:39,487 What are you talking about? 352 00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:43,708 I'm a scientist, and I have to follow the data 353 00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:46,407 wherever it leads, whether I like it or not. 354 00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:48,322 Get to the point. 355 00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:52,152 It seems I have a crush on you. 356 00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:53,544 What? 357 00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:55,459 I'm as surprised as you are. 358 00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:57,766 But I have all the symptoms according to both Dr. Sturgis 359 00:14:57,809 --> 00:15:00,029 and the editors of Sassymagazine. 360 00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:07,776 Uh, Sheldon, 361 00:15:07,819 --> 00:15:10,213 I'm really glad that you told me this, 362 00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:15,349 'cause... the truth is, I feel the same way about you. 363 00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:16,828 You do? 364 00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:18,787 I mean, I've been trying to hide it, 365 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:21,181 but now I don't have to anymore. 366 00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:22,922 This is such a relief. 367 00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:25,794 Oh, dear. This is new information. 368 00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:27,230 I had been operating under the assumption 369 00:15:27,274 --> 00:15:29,102 that my crush was unrequited. 370 00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:33,019 Oh, it's requited, Sheldon. It's very requited. 371 00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:34,498 Hmm. 372 00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:39,895 What are you doing? 373 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,549 We have a crush on each other. 374 00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:42,724 So? 375 00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:44,987 Well, now we have to kiss. 376 00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:46,467 We do? 377 00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:49,557 I mean, it's where the data has led us. 378 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,735 I suppose. 379 00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:55,563 Okay. 380 00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:57,782 Now close your eyes and pucker up. 381 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,790 This might tickle. 382 00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:10,578 What's happening? Are we kissing? 383 00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:12,058 You bet. 384 00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:16,410 How was that? 385 00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:18,934 I didn't feel anything romantic. 386 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,284 Hmm. Me, either. 387 00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:24,679 I guess it wasn't a crush after all. 388 00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:26,072 I guess not. 389 00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:28,944 Hmm. That's a relief. 390 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,772 It is. 391 00:16:30,815 --> 00:16:33,993 I went to three classes before I figured it out. 392 00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:35,864 Good thing I look spiffy in a mustache. 393 00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:43,306 Hi. 394 00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:45,874 Oh. Three days in a row. 395 00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,658 If you were a man, I'd think you was in love with me. 396 00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:51,097 Well, this time I'm actually gonna get a haircut. 397 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,360 I had a little accident. 398 00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:55,536 Uh-oh, what happened? 399 00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:58,974 Well, I was sewing and got to daydreaming... 400 00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:06,503 I love it. 401 00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:08,636 You can make all my clothes from now on. 402 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,293 I'm-a wear this to the prom. 403 00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:15,991 I was wrong, honey, you really are good at this. 404 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,124 Boy, am I dumb. 405 00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:21,997 George! 406 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,564 George! Help! 407 00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:25,218 What? 408 00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:27,829 What's the matter?My hair got tangled in the machine. 409 00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,483 So pull it out. 410 00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:31,354 Don't you think I thought of that?! 411 00:17:31,398 --> 00:17:33,313 Well, what do you want me to do? 412 00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:34,705 All right, don't move. 413 00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,578 And here we are. 414 00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:41,190 Okay. Let's get that hat off and see what we're dealing with. 415 00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:43,671 I don't want to.Oh, come on. 416 00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:45,412 I've been doing this a long time. 417 00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:47,327 I promise you I've seen worse. 418 00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,329 Oh... 419 00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:54,812 That's not bad at all. 420 00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:05,345 Captioning sponsored by CBS 421 00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:08,348 WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 422 00:18:08,391 --> 00:18:11,351 and TOYOTA.