1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,465 [upbeat music playing] 2 00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:11,594 A NETFLIX SERIES 3 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,723 [Elvira] Come on, Blondie! No mercy! 4 00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:16,766 [whines] Oh my God. [sighs] 5 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:18,809 Okay. 6 00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,272 [upbeat music playing from speaker] 7 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,607 [breathing heavily] 8 00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:26,775 [exhales] 9 00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:28,944 [Tina] What is that? 10 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,030 [Silvia exhales] 11 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:33,741 [Silvia grunts] 12 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,327 Come on! Make us sweat it out, Blondie! 13 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:37,704 [chuckles] 14 00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,126 [Silvia grunts] 15 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,213 - Om! Shanti, shanti, shanti, shanti. Om! - [clapping] 16 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:48,715 [all] Whoo! 17 00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:50,175 [whispers] Oh, we have to pay. 18 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,135 [whimsical music playing] 19 00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:57,556 [gasps] 20 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,104 - [whistling] - [cheering] 21 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:04,730 Let's go. 22 00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:08,693 [whimsical music continues playing] 23 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:10,904 They thought I was begging. 24 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,114 Like... [inhales] 25 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:14,866 I was happy working out by myself, 26 00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:18,203 when all of a sudden, everybody started chasing me. 27 00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:19,412 Like a hoard of zombies. 28 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,539 And out of nowhere, they gave me coins. 29 00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:22,832 [whimpers] 30 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:26,044 They thought I was a beggar or something like that. 31 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:28,963 No homeless people wear Lululemon, you know what I mean? 32 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:31,966 Diego, I know we're going through a rough patch... 33 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,385 but we don't need their charity. 34 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:36,888 They were probably thinking it was just a class or something. 35 00:01:36,971 --> 00:01:39,011 And they were paying you for being their instructor. 36 00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,809 Is that a teacher's salary? 37 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:44,158 - No wonder they're always on strike. - [Diego] Don't you see, Sil? 38 00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:47,148 You can charge for your sessions to pay for important things. 39 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:50,068 Like... waxing. 40 00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:52,028 [gasps] Or buying a car. 41 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,113 Mm-hmm. 42 00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:57,534 [Tina] Now that Blondie has made exercising so fashionable here, 43 00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,160 I'm gonna sell my weight-loss shakes. 44 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,871 When I sold them in Juarez, my shakes were such a big hit. 45 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,081 Well, how about that? 46 00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:05,416 No need to exercise and get all sweaty. 47 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,127 But exercising is good for your health. 48 00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,254 Listen, exercising only makes you more hungry. 49 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:12,173 And that's why my milkshakes will be such a success. 50 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,257 You will lose wight extra fast with Ex-Piggy Forte. 51 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,468 [Dolores] Here we go. 52 00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:17,554 That's it. 53 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,639 [upbeat music playing from speaker] 54 00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:21,182 Wow. Look. 55 00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,977 - [gasps] Hi, handsome! Hey. - [whistles] 56 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,979 [chuckles] 57 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,773 Hello there. 58 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,151 What's up, Netito? Huh? 59 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:34,195 All this time, you never mentioned that you can dance so well. 60 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,240 But you kind of look like a blowfish. [whistles] 61 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,034 These shorts are giving me a wedgie. 62 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:41,369 [sucks teeth] Ah! 63 00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:42,829 That's no big deal, man. 64 00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:46,791 But be careful with the consequences. They can be a real doozie. 65 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,877 You know what I mean, prostate trouble. 66 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,045 Peeing in little squirts all through the night. 67 00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,089 - And no more stiffies. - [gasps] 68 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,300 Nothing to worry about, Neto. Unless, you know... 69 00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:57,051 Unless you've felt The Spear. 70 00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:58,553 What's The Spear? 71 00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:01,556 It's a pain that starts all the way at the top of Mount Blackburn 72 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:03,266 all the way to the Grand Canyon. 73 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,184 Get it? 74 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,936 You know, from the tip of your pecker all the way to your rectum. 75 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,021 I've felt that, though! 76 00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:09,189 - No kidding. - Yes. 77 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,481 - Seriously? - Yes! 78 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:13,276 Hey, I'd get a check-up if I were you because you're still early. 79 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:16,696 I saw terrible things in prison from lack in medical care. 80 00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:18,323 [inhales] 81 00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:19,741 You have no idea. 82 00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:22,785 [Crista] I'm really stressed. 83 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:27,123 Last week we had 13,000 Toxifans, and now we're down to 11,500. 84 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,292 We have to post juicy stuff, Pablo. 85 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:32,462 They're all saying that this is a fake relationship. 86 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:33,963 Did you read the comments? 87 00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:35,672 [phone chimes] 88 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:39,510 "This relationship is faker than Luisito Comunica's cool trips." 89 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:40,594 [phone chimes] 90 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:43,932 "You know coffee and vanilla don't mix. They're obviously lying." 91 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,642 [scoffs] What's wrong with them? 92 00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:46,809 Wait a minute. 93 00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,938 We have to do something to prove that we're actually dating for real. 94 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,022 Day what? 95 00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:52,105 [scoffs] 96 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,359 Hey, wait! Please, Crista. 97 00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:55,442 Hold on. 98 00:03:56,527 --> 00:03:59,215 I feel like there's something wrong in our relationship, and I want... 99 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,074 Whoa, whoa. Hold your horses. 100 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:06,204 We don't have a relationship. We're just fucking. 101 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,415 - But we've done it more than three times. - So what? 102 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,751 We could be dating officially now. 103 00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:14,003 You can put me to the test. I'll prove it. 104 00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:18,383 Okay. Only so you realize that labels aren't as good as they seem. 105 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,512 [Silvia] Don't you give up! Nine, ten... 106 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:23,429 LOSE WEIGHT $150 107 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,723 ...eleven, twelve! Keep going! 108 00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,685 Now, kick up and clap under your leg to work those obliques. 109 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,562 One, two! Energize! Three, 110 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:34,440 four, five, six... 111 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,651 - Come on, ladies! Stop your suffering! - ...seven! 112 00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:37,777 I have the quick solution 113 00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:40,280 to get rid of those love handles just like that! 114 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,490 - Ex-Piggy Forte right this way. - [Silvia] Hey. 115 00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:44,909 Please! All these powders are just a big scam. 116 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,870 If you want to lose weight, you have to exercise. 117 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,622 Easy. No pain, no gain. 118 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,749 This is what Anahí from the band RBD uses... 119 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,502 - [scoffs] - ...to stay oh so very slim. 120 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:56,296 Are you serious? For real? 121 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,423 Don't believe me? Let's bet on it. 122 00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:02,927 Elvira will drink my special milkshakes, and Lulú will work out with you. 123 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,555 The one whose client loses more weight wins. 124 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,515 Perfect. But if I win, 125 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:10,143 I want the whole clothesline to myself. 126 00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:11,728 I hate sharing with strangers. 127 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:12,937 And if I win, 128 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,606 you're gonna wash my family's underwear by hand. 129 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,066 [sighs] 130 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:17,984 Fine. 131 00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:21,321 No, wait a minute. You can count me out. 132 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:22,780 Don't you wanna look like Anahí? 133 00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:25,908 No, I'd rather be curvy like Galilea. 134 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,745 My husband likes to have something to grab onto. 135 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,955 Oh, did I say Anahí? No, no. 136 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,623 Gali. Scrumptious. 137 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,501 Ah! In that case, I'm in. [chuckles] 138 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:36,585 Good. And you? 139 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,756 If I do your routines will I look like Maribel Guardia? 140 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,008 Oh, you'll look like Scarlett Johansson. 141 00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:44,469 Kim Kardashian? 142 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:46,888 Okay, like Maribel what's-her-face? 143 00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:49,223 That's great. [chuckles] I'm in. 144 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,683 - Oh, good. Yeah. - Yeah. 145 00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,644 But wait, we won't get sick or anything, will we? 146 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,313 No. 147 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,106 - You'll see. - Mmm. 148 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:58,733 [Neto] Hi, Rigo. 149 00:05:58,816 --> 00:05:59,816 Listen. 150 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:02,401 Do you know where I can get a check-up? You know... 151 00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:05,698 - Yes. - For my, you know, heart! My prostate. 152 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,617 Shh! Shh! Shh! 153 00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,702 Don't ever say that word again. 154 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,389 Business will drop if any of my lady clients find out 155 00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:15,083 that someone stuck their hand in your prostate. 156 00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,251 - But it's for my health. - I don't care. 157 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:18,695 My brother Ramón used to say that, 158 00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:21,798 and now he goes by Simona. 159 00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:24,217 Besides, the only man who can check you is Mr. Inocencio, 160 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,803 but he has a big mouth. Especially when he's drunk. 161 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,387 Seriously? 162 00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,556 You know why I never greet Mrs. Socorro with a kiss? 163 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,058 - Mm-mm. - She has herpes. 164 00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:36,187 Mr. Rotulio never goes to the water park because he has a fungus. 165 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,523 Okay, okay! 166 00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:41,567 In that case, we have to do something about these skimpy shorts. Please! 167 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:46,656 [groans] 168 00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:47,949 Step on the scales. 169 00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:50,493 Hey, hey, hey! 170 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,161 - Wait just a minute. - [Lulú] What? 171 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,497 - She's got extra weight on. - Hey, hey, hey. 172 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:55,580 [scoffs] 173 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,501 Hey, you too. 174 00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,503 No cheating. Come on, take it off. 175 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:02,755 - But I don't... - Fair is fair. Come on, let's go. 176 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,179 [Elvira sighs] 177 00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:17,186 All right, let the Hunger Games begin. 178 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:18,937 [sighs] 179 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,023 [Pablo] Do you think this will work? 180 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:24,360 Of course. All couples post pictures doing yoga together. 181 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:25,278 [groans] Ow, ow! 182 00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:27,029 Okay. This one's easier. 183 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,739 [meditation music playing] 184 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:29,823 Okay. 185 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,368 - [grunts] Ouch, ouch, ouch. - Fuck. 186 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:35,079 We have to go with plan B. 187 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,414 Aw, are you sure about that? 188 00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:40,042 DOLORES FONDA 189 00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:49,260 - [gasps] - Mom, stop distracting the champion. 190 00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:51,387 I'm just putting her willpower to the test. 191 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:55,099 Here. Prove to us that your willpower is bigger than your hunger. 192 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,726 [sighs] 193 00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:01,856 [gulps] 194 00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,151 Yuck, it tastes like glue. 195 00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:08,696 Come on, let her have a tamale to wash down the glue. Don't be so mean. 196 00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:11,782 Mom. Instead of giving her ideas, help me egg her on. Let's go. 197 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,117 - [sighs] - That's it, Elvira. 198 00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,452 Swallow, swallow, Elvira! 199 00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:15,745 Swallow, swallow, Elvira! 200 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,955 No, don't... don't spit it back up. Come on, drink it! 201 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,516 - [Silvia] No groaning. - [Lulú groans] 202 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,180 [Silvia] Listen, being skinny isn't easy. 203 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:22,376 [groans] 204 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,462 I don't think I can go on. 205 00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,839 No, no, no. Wait. Listen to me. Hey, look here. 206 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,509 I'm not losing this challenge, okay? 207 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,385 - You have to go on. - [sighs] 208 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:34,680 I'm sorry. I'm just way too weak for this. 209 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,267 Look, I promise you that if you lose weight, 210 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,561 you're gonna look so gorgeous. 211 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:41,687 Pinky promise. 212 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:45,316 Fine, but if I win, do you promise I can borrow one of your expensive dresses 213 00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:47,079 and try to get into the Soap Opera Awards? 214 00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:49,403 - [whimsical music playing] - Um... 215 00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:50,947 I don't know what that is, but yes. 216 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,324 So I can be up close and personal with Sebastián Ruli. 217 00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:54,408 Ah! 218 00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:57,620 Okay. But you know I'm a size two, so that means... 219 00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,372 you have a lot of work to do. 220 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:02,542 - Up! - This is for you, Ruli! 221 00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:05,169 - Cheer up! Let's go! - Yes! 222 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,964 - Smile! Smile! Smile! That's it! - [groans] 223 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:18,015 [Rigo] No, no, no, no. This isn't working. 224 00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:21,936 Yesterday they wanted to hire you for three bachelorette parties. 225 00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:23,563 They were all married women. 226 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,566 - Sorry. Change back into your shorts. - [groans] 227 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,233 What's up? [chuckles] 228 00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:30,278 - Is the chicken coop dead or what? - It'll come back to life. 229 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:32,196 - As soon as Neto changes. - [Neto groans] 230 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,614 Don't be that way, Rigo. 231 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:35,866 Let the chickens die, but don't choke the cock. 232 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,494 If the chicken coop dies, so does the business. 233 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,330 So, the cock will have to suck it up. 234 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,916 Okay, let me try one day with this uniform. 235 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,669 And if I don't sell, I'll change back. 236 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,589 Okay, fine. But you know what lady clients like. 237 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,256 Cock. 238 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,514 [Tere] This is an exquisite tripe stew! 239 00:09:58,598 --> 00:09:59,682 If we're going to date, 240 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,935 you have to eat everything my grandmother makes at her diner, okay? 241 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,604 So, get used to it. 242 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:06,772 Hey, what's wrong, young man? 243 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,358 Don't you want to try my tripe stew? 244 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,193 [inhales] Oh, of course I do, ma'am. 245 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,778 Let me see. 246 00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:22,663 - [Dolores] So? - This is delicious! 247 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,206 - [Dolores] Is It? - Mm-hmm. 248 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:27,084 See, dear? He really knows how to eat, 249 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,837 unlike you who turned out to be a heathen. 250 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,088 Vegan. 251 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:33,215 Vegan, I have to remember. Vegan. 252 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,176 - [whimsical music playing] - Mmm! 253 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,888 - [Tina] Step up. - [breathing excitedly] 254 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,184 [growls] 255 00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,145 It says you gained more than half a pound! 256 00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:48,773 - [Elvira sighs] - We must be doing something wrong. 257 00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:52,276 What we're doing wrong is that you're starving me to death. 258 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,112 We have to take drastic measures if we want to win this. 259 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:56,947 - Come on, let's go. - [groans] 260 00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:59,367 Repeat after me, Confidence and faith. Repeat it. 261 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,744 - [keyboard typing] - [indistinct whispers] 262 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,497 [Pablo] No way. All these filters they're gonna think it's fake. 263 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:07,291 Look, you made my nose look like a reggaeton Pinocchio. 264 00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:10,169 Calm down, Pablo. I didn't use so many filters. 265 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:12,046 I posted it. 266 00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:13,881 [Silvia] Stand on the scale. Let's go. 267 00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:15,549 - [exhales] - What? 268 00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:18,511 It says you gained more than half a pound! 269 00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:20,154 Mind telling me what you're doing wrong? 270 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,973 Well, when I get nervous, I sometimes retain fluids. 271 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,310 Okay. I have to switch strategies. Yeah. 272 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,314 I've got it. We can do planks with shoulder taps. 273 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,147 - Let's go. - [scale screeches] 274 00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:33,526 [upbeat music playing through speaker] 275 00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,195 [all together] Whoo! 276 00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:38,406 That's what I call quality advertising. 277 00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:39,949 [whistles] 278 00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:43,285 - [all cheering] - [Neto chuckles] 279 00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:46,163 Thank you. Thank you. 280 00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:48,374 Hey! What's up, Netito? 281 00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,337 I see they got you back in the shorts after all. 282 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,628 Tell me, did you at least get a check-up? 283 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,214 - Um, no, but I'm totally fine, Tommy. - Yeah. 284 00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:56,382 Don't sweat it, Netito. 285 00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:58,902 A little finger in the tush is actually a quite natural thing. 286 00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:00,886 It happens every day in the can. And believe me, 287 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,139 anything is better than The Spear. 288 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:04,390 - The Spear? - [Tomás] Yeah. 289 00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:05,473 What is that? 290 00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:08,018 Well, it's this strong pain. 291 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:11,731 It goes from northern Baja California all the way to Chetumal. 292 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,774 From the Sierra Madre Range to Death Valley. 293 00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,658 Um, from the tip of your penis to your rectum. 294 00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:16,736 - [grunts] - [Tomás] Yeah. 295 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,112 I... I've felt that. 296 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:19,697 Is it very serious? Is it? 297 00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,323 It's dead serious. It's terrible. 298 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,784 Why don't you guys go see Mr. Inocencio? 299 00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:26,620 Don't worry, his finger is always ready for another prostate exam. 300 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,164 - Never! - Yes, yes, yes. 301 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:30,332 - We're men. - [all grunt] 302 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,709 We're not into fingering. 303 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:35,838 Okay. You could also take the tea that my mom used to make for Genaro. 304 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:37,840 - It's great. - For the prostate? 305 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:40,342 Yes, and for everything else as well. Yes, yes, yes. 306 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,386 Every time Genaro drank it, 307 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:45,139 he seemed energized. Damn Genaro. 308 00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:47,767 Until he died, of course. Rest his soul. [kisses] 309 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,019 Anyways, sleep on it, okay? Yeah. 310 00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,188 Hmm. 311 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,484 Well, if it's good enough for Genie, we can drink it too. 312 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,233 Okay, let's give it a try. 313 00:12:58,277 --> 00:12:59,957 [Diego] I told you I'd do anything for you. 314 00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,823 This is Winter, Raquel's son. 315 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:05,910 He's a tattoo artist, and he's going to give you this. 316 00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:06,994 No. Forget it. 317 00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:08,788 Anybody can get that on the beach. 318 00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:10,873 I want something original. 319 00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:12,625 Winter, do anything you want. 320 00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:14,501 [chuckles softly] 321 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:18,923 [tattoo gun buzzing] 322 00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:21,383 [whimsical music plays] 323 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,428 What's up, Lulú? How are Blondie's workouts coming along? 324 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:28,098 Oh, Tina. Don't tell anyone, but I'm in pain. Even my ears hurt. 325 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,350 Oh wow. 326 00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,977 Yeah, I can tell you've been exercising really hard. 327 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:34,104 Yes, but I haven't lost any weight yet. 328 00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:35,564 [sighs, sucks teeth] 329 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:39,235 You know, I knew this was gonna happen, so I brought you some pain medicine. 330 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:40,903 Here. 331 00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:42,988 I'm really sorry, but I can't pay for it right now. 332 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:46,200 Don't worry about that, it's free. That's what friends are for. 333 00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:47,326 Seriously? 334 00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:48,409 [clicks tongue] 335 00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:51,997 Thanks a million, Tina. I mean it. I'm ground to a pulp. 336 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,415 I imagine. 337 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,019 Wait, is roasted ground maize organic? 338 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:58,587 It doesn't go in the inorganic bin, so I'm guessing it's definitely organic. 339 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,965 How are you doing with Agustina's powders? 340 00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:02,925 Oh, they taste like poop. 341 00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,051 Aw. 342 00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:05,934 But listen, if I'm going to look like Galilea, 343 00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:07,221 I'll eat whatever it takes. 344 00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:09,640 Uh-huh. What are you eating today? 345 00:14:09,723 --> 00:14:11,684 Today it's fried tortilla-flavored powder. 346 00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:14,270 I mean, why don't you eat the actual fried tortilla 347 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,188 and then spread the powder on top of it? 348 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,733 That's what I did a while ago, and I lost the weight way faster. 349 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,777 - Are you serious? - Sure. 350 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,280 Okay, then. I'll buy a masa dough snack instead. 351 00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,083 Also, you know, fried tortillas are so tiny. 352 00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:28,200 - Even better. For sure. - Right? 353 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:29,994 - Here you go. It's 20. - [Silvia moans] 354 00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:31,704 Exactly 20. 355 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,540 [groans] 356 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:35,623 Can you vouch for me? 357 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:39,837 Wow, Diego got a tattoo? 358 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,255 Yes. I asked him to, 359 00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:43,424 but I didn't think he would actually get one. 360 00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:45,718 Let me see what tattoo you got, honey. 361 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,598 Wait, is that Roberto Palazuelos? 362 00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:53,934 No way! It's a portrait of Tere, in the style of Andy Warhol. 363 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:55,978 This... this is pure art. 364 00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:57,104 [gasps] 365 00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,106 [Pablo] You won't like this one bit. 366 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:02,443 Mariana commented, "Pablo looks super fake, 367 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:06,488 they used too many filters, like Maradona used too many drugs." 368 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,325 - [whimsical music playing] - [phone screen locks] 369 00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:16,081 Oh my God. They're asking for us to kiss live. 370 00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:18,709 [Pablo] Well... 371 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:23,047 I think that we should, uh, do it. I mean, I'm willing to, 372 00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:25,090 but if you don't... don't want to, 373 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:27,801 or you can't, or you feel uncomfortable about it, 374 00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,762 that's no problem, we won't do it. 375 00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:34,099 No. I think that it's part of, you know, our job, so to speak, right? 376 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,852 But if you don't want to, I'd understand. 377 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,063 Yes, for the good of the Toxicutes account. 378 00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:40,688 Mm-hmm. 379 00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,568 Okay, before you say anything, it's for his own good. 380 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,528 Tattooing his ass is for his own good? 381 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:50,324 Okay, maybe not that, but he should learn not to legitimize a patriarchal system. 382 00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:53,327 Why don't you just tell him you're scared of dating officially? 383 00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:54,410 [sighs] 384 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,289 But that's not it. 385 00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,749 I'm just trying to get him to see 386 00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:01,293 that there is more than one way of a couple being together. 387 00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:04,171 Then tell him he has to have more of an open mind. 388 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:06,006 [gasps] Of course! 389 00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,509 That's exactly what he has to learn. 390 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,303 Thank you, Janet. You're a genius. 391 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:15,265 - Hmm. - [keypad clicks] 392 00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:17,226 RIGO EVENTS FOR YOUR PARTIES 393 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,312 [groans] Genie's tea didn't agree with me. 394 00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,396 Me neither. 395 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,984 The Spear impaled me like there was no tomorrow. 396 00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:27,319 - Yeah, me too. - [grunts] 397 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:31,156 Maybe Tomás is right and this is the start of prostate cancer. 398 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,242 Come on, we really need to go see Mr. Inocencio. 399 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:34,325 No. 400 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,079 I'd rather have worms in my prostate 401 00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:39,331 than people know my pucker's no longer a virgin. 402 00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:40,582 Let's go. 403 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,419 Because the bar closes tomorrow, and we know he'll be sober. 404 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:44,753 Yeah, all right. 405 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,547 But... but this stays between you and me. 406 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:47,464 Mm-hmm. 407 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:48,716 [whimsical music playing] 408 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,094 - [cracks] - Ow! My finger. 409 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:56,890 I don't know if this will work. How am I supposed to eat it? 410 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,435 [Tomás] Come on. Take it easy, Pablito. 411 00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,812 You see, the goal is to make people crave your ice cream 412 00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:03,897 because of the way you kiss it. 413 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,190 Does that make sense? 414 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:06,775 - Yeah, okay. - Go on, kiss it. 415 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,778 - Do it. - [romantic music playing] 416 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,239 Stop! Not like that, Nephew! What are you doing? 417 00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:15,492 If you do that, there's no way anyone would believe that she's your girlfriend. 418 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,453 Try again. Hey, wait a second. 419 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:20,497 This time, put more soul into it. Make it sexy. Go. 420 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:24,126 [romantic music continues] 421 00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:27,046 No way, I don't believe it. I don't know what I'm gonna do with you. 422 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:29,048 - Was it that bad? - Try it one more time. 423 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,799 Make it sexier. Show your eyes. 424 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,635 [romantic music continues] 425 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:34,719 Mmm! 426 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,472 [gasps] 427 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:37,723 Shut that mouth! 428 00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:40,059 How many bites have you had? 429 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:41,602 Mmm. 430 00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:43,103 Of that one, none. 431 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,272 - [whimsical music playing] - [Silvia sighs] 432 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:47,775 Who gave this to you? 433 00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:48,858 Tina. 434 00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:52,362 She said that it would help stop the pain, but... 435 00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:53,822 it's only making me more hungry. 436 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,991 That's because these pills are to grow your appetite. 437 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,243 That's why it's called "Pig Out Pills." 438 00:17:59,536 --> 00:18:01,455 Oh! [chuckles] 439 00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:04,208 Oh well, they sure do work. 440 00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,877 - No! That traitor's gonna hear me out. - Mmm. 441 00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:08,961 [gasps] 442 00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:12,674 Mm-mm. 443 00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,051 [Silvia scoffs] 444 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,681 Hey, hey, hey! 445 00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:23,060 - Stop it. You can't eat that stuff. - Mm-hmm. 446 00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:25,354 Chivis said I could spread the powder on top of food 447 00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,106 and lose a lot of weight really fast. 448 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,274 That wretch. No, no, no! Hey! Stop! No! 449 00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:32,694 She's cheating so you can gain weight. Put that thing down. Down! 450 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:36,281 Mmm, let me just have one more tiny bite, just so the powder doesn't go to waste. 451 00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:38,200 - Yum! - Mm-mm! 452 00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:40,452 Look. 453 00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:43,664 I said no, Elvira! 454 00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:56,760 Janet, I need your assistance. 455 00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:59,054 Only if you help me with the laundry. 456 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,681 [whimsical music playing] 457 00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:05,978 I need you to help me kiss Pablo live and make it look real. 458 00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,312 Well, just kiss him. 459 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:09,940 But I can't. I only kiss for love. 460 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,943 Help me fall in love with Pablo for a little while? 461 00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:15,988 The trouble is, his self-esteem depends on his followers. 462 00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:18,991 Yeah, yeah, whatever. What can I do to fall in love with him? 463 00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:21,493 - I guess you have to get a love spell. - A love spell? 464 00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:23,704 - Tell me all about it. - Well, um... 465 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,455 [Diego] I don't think I can do it. 466 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:26,539 Pablito. 467 00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,209 Tere wants me to try pegging 468 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,503 to prove to her that I want to date her officially. 469 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:34,339 Pegging? What's that? 470 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:36,592 - She wants to do this to me. - [Tomás gasps] 471 00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:39,386 [Tomás] Wow. Wow, wow. I... 472 00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:40,345 Mmm. 473 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,932 I guess that must be a magical moment for any relationship, huh? 474 00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:45,434 I'm scared. 475 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:46,518 Of course. 476 00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:48,604 Should I do that with Crista? 477 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:50,327 Pablito, you haven't even kissed her yet. 478 00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:51,982 - Ah. - Show me again. 479 00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,817 I'm telling you, I'm gonna win this contest. 480 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,653 - I think you'll win too. - Look who's coming. Speak of the devil. 481 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,864 She should stop playing nurse. [scoffs] 482 00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:03,535 [sighs] You know, you really stooped low taking advantage of poor Mrs. Elvira. 483 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:06,079 And you of Lulú's innocence. That's not fair play. 484 00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:07,331 "That's not fair play." 485 00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,499 As the mediator of this contest... 486 00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,294 Stop this nonsense, and get your chunky ladies 487 00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,671 to lose weight without cheating. 488 00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:18,425 Okay, if she behaves, then so will I. 489 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,304 - Do you want to ask for a spell? - Yes. 490 00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:25,349 But this place is so different. 491 00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:28,435 Stop being so picky. Come on. 492 00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:30,938 THE SHAMANA TAROT, WEEDING, LOVE SPELLS 493 00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:32,397 Look, Blondie. 494 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,024 You need to tie together 495 00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:36,777 a lock of your hair with your lover's hair. 496 00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:38,612 Are you sure that that will be enough? 497 00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:42,115 - It's a very efficient love spell. - But I really only want it for a while. 498 00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:43,742 Come back later and I'll untether it. 499 00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:47,621 - Do you realize what you're saying? - Don't listen to her, Blondie. 500 00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:50,457 Janet is a weird kid because she has no faith. 501 00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,710 She didn't even want to do her First Communion. Mm-hmm. 502 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:57,381 Come on, Janet. The point is, I have to fall in love with Pablo. 503 00:20:58,006 --> 00:21:00,509 - Mm-hmm. Hmm. - [Tina] Squeeze her flabby chin, Mom. 504 00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:03,053 Okay. She has to sweat out at least four pounds. 505 00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:06,932 Wait, wasn't I just supposed to just drink the milkshake? 506 00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,851 Listen, we have to take extreme measures or we're gonna lose. 507 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:10,935 [Dolores] Run in place. 508 00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,231 No, faster! 509 00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:17,276 Like when you chase the priest so that he'll hear your confession. 510 00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:20,320 - [moaning] - [body thuds] 511 00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,656 [gasps] What's wrong? 512 00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:23,991 She fainted. Elvira! 513 00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:26,451 Did you have breakfast, Elvira? 514 00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:28,955 - [grunts] - [Silvia] Come on, let's go. No pain. 515 00:21:29,037 --> 00:21:31,039 Oh! Yes, pain! 516 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:32,833 - Here, take this. - [grunts] 517 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,294 [sighs] 518 00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:36,920 Isn't this Tina's milkshake? 519 00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:39,256 Yes. It's just to prove that it doesn't work. 520 00:21:39,339 --> 00:21:40,339 - Up! - [sighs, groans] 521 00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:41,425 Move it! 522 00:21:41,508 --> 00:21:42,676 Come on! 523 00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:45,429 - Take it! - [groans] 524 00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:46,346 Don't stop! 525 00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:48,098 [whistle blowing] 526 00:21:48,181 --> 00:21:50,183 Get up, Lulú! 527 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:51,852 If this is what you want... 528 00:21:53,437 --> 00:21:54,479 I'm ready. 529 00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:57,649 [romantic music playing] 530 00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:59,484 - [chuckles] - What's so funny? 531 00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:01,820 Pull up your pants, dummy. 532 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,989 I didn't think you'd accept. 533 00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:06,700 Now I see you'd do anything for me. 534 00:22:06,783 --> 00:22:08,493 Is being my girlfriend so bad? 535 00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:10,494 No, of course not. 536 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,956 It's not you, it's just... 537 00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:16,335 Yeah, you told me, it... it's not your style. 538 00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:18,587 It's not my style, and nobody ever asked me. 539 00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:21,465 But with you, everything has been different. 540 00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:23,967 I hate that you're a rich kid, 541 00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:26,553 but I hate even more that I'm so in love with you. 542 00:22:28,555 --> 00:22:29,890 [Diego chuckles] 543 00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:32,934 If you want, you can put me to the test. 544 00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:35,896 - [chuckles] - [Dolores] This is the moment of truth. 545 00:22:35,979 --> 00:22:37,397 Well, look who's here. 546 00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:39,441 And there's the scale. 547 00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:41,684 - Let's put an end to this. - Go. Elvira, you're first. 548 00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:43,570 Come on. Stand here still. 549 00:22:43,653 --> 00:22:44,905 - Come on! - Come on. 550 00:22:44,988 --> 00:22:46,615 [scale clanking] 551 00:22:47,532 --> 00:22:48,367 [gasps] 552 00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:50,243 - Gained two pounds. - Damn it. 553 00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:51,828 [chuckles] 554 00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:53,997 Come on, Lulú! You can do it! 555 00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:56,500 [Lulú exhales] 556 00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:57,959 [chuckles] 557 00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,753 She gained two pounds too. 558 00:23:00,796 --> 00:23:04,299 - No. No, no, no. I won't accept a tie. - No, no, no. One more week. 559 00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:05,801 - Yeah. - No fucking way. 560 00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:07,344 No, I'm not doing this any longer. 561 00:23:07,427 --> 00:23:08,678 Neither am I. 562 00:23:09,262 --> 00:23:12,140 Luckily, Mrs. Dolores saved us from starvation every night 563 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,559 by making us her fried tortilla snacks. 564 00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:16,371 - Excuse me? - You fed them every night, Mom? 565 00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,938 Don't blame me. 566 00:23:18,021 --> 00:23:22,651 Because I put double lettuce on them, and I wiped up all the oil with a napkin. 567 00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:26,196 You should be ashamed, ma'am. You completely cheated. 568 00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:27,948 Shame on both of you! 569 00:23:28,615 --> 00:23:30,367 You nearly killed these poor women. 570 00:23:31,743 --> 00:23:34,371 There's so much more in life than being skinny. 571 00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:36,122 [inhales] 572 00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:39,543 - Hurry, here comes Pablo. - Uh... 573 00:23:41,044 --> 00:23:43,463 I'm ready for our big kiss now. 574 00:23:44,172 --> 00:23:45,090 So am I. 575 00:23:45,173 --> 00:23:46,591 Janet, start livestreaming 576 00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:47,675 Cool. 577 00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:50,970 [recorder chimes] 578 00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:53,640 Toxifans, how are you? 579 00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:56,351 Let's wait for more people to connect to talk a bit. 580 00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:59,896 I know you're only here for me because Pablo's a nobody... 581 00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:04,443 ["Calle Victoria" by Macha Kiddo Feat. Lola Membrillo playing] 582 00:24:08,071 --> 00:24:09,698 We are offline. 583 00:24:11,533 --> 00:24:12,533 Cut, guys! 584 00:24:17,539 --> 00:24:19,624 - Was it okay? - Mm-hmm. 585 00:24:19,708 --> 00:24:20,584 What'd they say? 586 00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:21,751 "That's hot." 587 00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:23,378 - Hmm. - Cool. 588 00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:26,298 Gentlemen, welcome to the backdoor community. 589 00:24:26,381 --> 00:24:28,300 [chuckles] Just kidding, just kidding. 590 00:24:28,383 --> 00:24:31,678 As far as I could feel, everything is fine in your deep canyons. 591 00:24:31,761 --> 00:24:34,431 So, please go on and live your lives as usual. 592 00:24:35,098 --> 00:24:36,641 What I don't understand is, 593 00:24:36,725 --> 00:24:38,768 why you demanded the physical exam, 594 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:41,229 when nowadays there's a blood test? 595 00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:45,400 What do you mean a blood test? You never told us about that, Tomás. 596 00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:49,154 I didn't want to be a party pooper. That's why. Yeah, yeah. 597 00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:50,739 What did I have to suffer? Huh? 598 00:24:51,406 --> 00:24:53,325 - You were collateral damage, Rigo. - [grunts] 599 00:24:53,408 --> 00:24:55,327 Wait, you never really cared about my health? 600 00:24:55,410 --> 00:24:56,411 Sure I did, Neto, 601 00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:58,830 but I was more worried about mine, and you see, 602 00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:01,917 losing my place as neighborhood sex symbol could have serious consequences. 603 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,000 Um... 604 00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:04,794 I sincerely apologize. 605 00:25:04,878 --> 00:25:09,049 It wasn't in bad faith, but, well, yes, it was, but I apologize. 606 00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:10,842 [sighs] 607 00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:12,886 [breathes deeply] 608 00:25:12,969 --> 00:25:15,055 [gentle music playing] 609 00:25:15,138 --> 00:25:16,431 [sighs] 610 00:25:19,976 --> 00:25:24,397 [in Spanish] ♪ Maybe meeting you Was no coincidence ♪ 611 00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:27,651 ♪ Maybe this was fate's doing ♪ 612 00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:31,780 ♪ I want to sleep on your chest again ♪ 613 00:25:32,572 --> 00:25:36,535 - ♪ And then, wake up to your kisses ♪ - ♪ Your sixth sense... ♪ 614 00:25:36,618 --> 00:25:39,746 [in English] They make a beautiful couple, don't they? 615 00:25:40,497 --> 00:25:43,792 [in Spanish] ♪ I know soon We will be together ♪ 616 00:25:43,875 --> 00:25:47,420 ♪ That mischievous smile That I carry with me ♪ 617 00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:48,504 [chuckles] 618 00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:51,424 ♪ I know I will soon be in your path ♪ 619 00:25:51,508 --> 00:25:55,011 ♪ You know I'm hanging onto your hands ♪ 620 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:57,430 ♪ So don't you... ♪ 621 00:25:57,514 --> 00:26:00,154 [in English] If they have kids, they're gonna look like Dalmatians. 622 00:26:00,642 --> 00:26:03,395 - Spotted? - [chuckles] I mean, yeah. 623 00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:06,773 That's what happens when a brown chick gets with a blonde guy... 624 00:26:06,856 --> 00:26:07,941 - Shh! - ...polka dots. 625 00:26:08,441 --> 00:26:09,441 Yeah. 626 00:26:10,110 --> 00:26:14,239 ♪ I send you songs Written by my own hand ♪ 627 00:26:14,322 --> 00:26:17,951 ♪ I send you songs By Juan Luis Guerra's 440 ♪ 628 00:26:18,034 --> 00:26:21,830 ♪ I send you photographs Of us dining in Martella ♪ 629 00:26:21,913 --> 00:26:25,959 ♪ And when we went to Venezuela ♪ 630 00:26:26,042 --> 00:26:29,838 ♪ That way you'll remember And never forget me ♪ 631 00:26:29,921 --> 00:26:34,217 [both] ♪ That my heart Is hanging in your hands ♪ 632 00:26:34,301 --> 00:26:35,594 ♪ Treat it right ♪ 633 00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:37,470 ♪ Treat it right ♪ 634 00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:40,849 ♪ For my heart is hanging in your hands ♪ 635 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:43,435 [chuckles] 636 00:26:43,518 --> 00:26:44,644 [in English] I love her! 637 00:26:45,145 --> 00:26:46,563 I even got a tattoo for her, look! 638 00:26:46,646 --> 00:26:48,648 - No, don't, Diego! - Diego, no, don't do it. 639 00:26:48,732 --> 00:26:50,734 - Kiss, kiss! - Kiss her! 640 00:26:50,817 --> 00:26:51,651 - Yay! - [cheering] 641 00:26:51,735 --> 00:26:54,321 [salsa music playing through speaker] 642 00:26:54,404 --> 00:26:55,572 Come one, come all! 643 00:26:55,655 --> 00:26:58,116 Take advantage of our special prices this weekend, 644 00:26:58,199 --> 00:27:01,369 only at Events By Rigo, go, go... 645 00:27:01,911 --> 00:27:03,580 Buddy, buddy, buddy! 646 00:27:03,663 --> 00:27:05,707 Sales are soaring, huh? [chuckles] 647 00:27:05,790 --> 00:27:08,001 - I knew Mr. Inocencio wouldn't tell. - Right! 648 00:27:08,084 --> 00:27:09,919 Hey, how's it hanging? 649 00:27:10,003 --> 00:27:11,588 Just look at you, Ernesto. 650 00:27:11,671 --> 00:27:14,400 I've been talking to friends and heard you're as pretty on the outside 651 00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:15,864 - as you are on the inside. - [gasps] 652 00:27:16,843 --> 00:27:18,345 Rigo, you too, darling. 653 00:27:18,428 --> 00:27:19,721 Bye. [kisses] 654 00:27:21,598 --> 00:27:23,808 - [sighs] - Fucking Inocencio. 655 00:27:25,685 --> 00:27:27,854 Come one, come all! Get your discounts! 656 00:27:27,937 --> 00:27:29,981 "Pretty on the inside." Mmm. 657 00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:32,484 A tamale with green sauce, please. 658 00:27:34,527 --> 00:27:35,445 Thank you. 659 00:27:35,528 --> 00:27:37,715 - Are you trying to kill yourself, Mom? - Of course not. 660 00:27:37,739 --> 00:27:40,075 Dolores says this has nutrients. 661 00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:41,534 Yeah, and a ton of oil. 662 00:27:41,618 --> 00:27:43,411 Fine, I'll pat it off with a napkin. 663 00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:44,495 [chuckles] 664 00:27:45,413 --> 00:27:48,083 Look, there's more to life than being skinny. 665 00:27:52,587 --> 00:27:53,672 Mmm! 666 00:27:54,339 --> 00:27:55,256 It's delicious. 667 00:27:55,340 --> 00:27:57,258 - Want one? - Do you have the pink kind? 668 00:27:58,635 --> 00:28:00,470 Nine, ten, 669 00:28:00,553 --> 00:28:03,390 - eleven, twelve, thirteen! - [breathes heavily] 670 00:28:03,473 --> 00:28:05,892 You decided on Silvia's method after all, Auntie? 671 00:28:05,975 --> 00:28:06,976 Not really. 672 00:28:07,060 --> 00:28:09,646 Blondie isn't my cup of tea, but she has nice legs. 673 00:28:09,729 --> 00:28:10,980 There's no harm in trying. 674 00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:13,775 I think it's good for you to exercise. 675 00:28:13,858 --> 00:28:15,235 It's good once in a while, dear. 676 00:28:15,318 --> 00:28:18,738 Later I'll compensate, a quesadilla for each sit-up. 677 00:28:18,822 --> 00:28:20,073 - [chuckles] - Yeah? 678 00:28:20,156 --> 00:28:21,241 Your grandma's right. 679 00:28:21,324 --> 00:28:23,535 There's more to life than trying to be skinny. 680 00:28:23,618 --> 00:28:25,537 - Sure. - Enjoy your Popsicle. 681 00:28:25,620 --> 00:28:27,122 [exhales] 682 00:28:28,498 --> 00:28:33,002 Three, four, five, six... 683 00:28:33,086 --> 00:28:38,341 ["El Dinero No Es La Vida" by Ximena Sariñana & Rubén Blades playing] 684 00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:02,110 [song ends]