1 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,065 Okay. We only have two days in Paris so 2 00:00:06,066 --> 00:00:08,466 I've circled all the places we have to go. 3 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:09,676 Cool. 4 00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:11,761 We're gonna start at the Paris opera house 5 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,431 to pick up some musical babes. Then we're gonna head over 6 00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:18,101 to Montmartre to pick up some artistic babes. 7 00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:21,062 And then we're gonna head over to the left bank for... 8 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:22,772 Left-handed babes. 9 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,609 Ooh! And all these places have snack bars! 10 00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,696 So you can pick up hungry babes. 11 00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:34,325 I can't believe we are going to get to spend 12 00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,578 our one-year anniversary in Paris. 13 00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:39,956 I know! City of lights, romance 14 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,125 and the world's largest network of sewer pipes. 15 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,294 I love that you know that. 16 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:53,720 Sacre barf. 17 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:59,434 ♪ Oh ay oh, oh ay oh oh ay oh, oh ay oh ♪ 18 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:05,148 ♪ come along with me and let's head out to see ♪ 19 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:09,069 ♪ what this world has for you and for me now ♪ 20 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,696 ♪ whichever way the wind blows ♪ 21 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,323 ♪ we say hey ho, let's go ♪ 22 00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:15,742 ♪ oh ay oh this boat's rocking ♪ 23 00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:19,537 ♪ oh ay oh ain't no stopping us now ♪ 24 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:22,499 ♪ because we're living the suite life ♪ 25 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,751 ♪ oh ay oh this boat's rocking ♪ 26 00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:28,380 ♪ oh ay oh rocking the whole world round ♪ 27 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:32,509 ♪ and we're living the suite life now ♪ 28 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:35,553 ♪ hey ho oh ay oh, let's go ♪ 29 00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:50,402 Oh, ho, ho! I love Paris! 30 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:53,445 I mean, just think of all the great writers that have walked these streets. 31 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:56,157 Voltaire, Flaubert, Moliere. 32 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,617 Don't care. 33 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,912 Yeah, I bet none of those guys wore stretchy shorts. 34 00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:04,874 I am dressed this way to root on my favorite team in the tour de France! 35 00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,961 You know, most fans just make a sign. 36 00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:10,964 Oh. I am more than just a fan. 37 00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:15,552 It was a brisk fall day, Colorado, 1991. 38 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,054 Here we go. 39 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:23,893 The U.S. cycling team was training two of its most promising members: 40 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:28,565 Lance Armstrong and... Marion 'spokes' Moseby. 41 00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,694 Lance and I were ready to race into the record books. 42 00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,946 But, alas, it wasn't meant to be. 43 00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:38,783 Why? Your feet couldn't reach the pedals on a big-boy bike? 44 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:44,330 No, I was careening down a hill, 45 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,958 my shaved legs slicing through the wind... 46 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:50,420 When my chain broke. 47 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,381 As did my tibia, my fibula and my dreams. 48 00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:55,967 Wow, Mr. Moseby. 49 00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,927 You have failed at so many things, 50 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,472 cycling, croquet, badminton. 51 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:01,806 - Don't forget love. - Oh, yeah. 52 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,602 Ignore those folks. I'll watch the tour de France with you. 53 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,937 Thank you, Marcus. That's very thoughtful of you. 54 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,687 Better than hanging out with these two deadbeats. 55 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:12,984 The one time they picked up the check, they used money from a board game. 56 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,694 We had to go directly to jail. 57 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:16,858 Thank goodness I had that card to get us out, though. 58 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:23,828 I love Paris! It looks just like the postcards. 59 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:25,997 But who is this woman I keep seeing everywhere? 60 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,374 Is she the mayor? 61 00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:32,337 Anyways, I really want to get Cody a special anniversary gift. 62 00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:35,173 Something he really needs but would never get himself. 63 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,425 A decent-looking girlfriend? I'd Chip in for that. 64 00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,470 Okay. France. 65 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,766 - What is that? - Oh, a map of the world. 66 00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:47,936 I color in all the countries where you've insulted me. 67 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,647 How did I miss Norway? We were docked there for an entire day. 68 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,181 You didn't. You said when I went to 69 00:03:54,182 --> 00:03:56,027 shore they'd rename the country, boreway. 70 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,363 - Oh, yeah. - I just forgot to color it in. 71 00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:10,375 This crepe is awesome. 72 00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:12,168 Hot fudge and whipped cream 73 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,629 all rolled up in a handy, edible carrying case. 74 00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:17,799 It's a French burrito. Isn't this sea school great? 75 00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:20,677 It's like the United Nations of indigestion. 76 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,307 Hey, take a picture of me with this puppet dude. 77 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,517 The camera's in your purse. 78 00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,979 It's not a purse, it's a satchel. 79 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,861 Why do you want a picture with these creepy French puppets? 80 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,947 To mock Cody. His nickname in elementary school was Pinocchio. 81 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,324 Did he lie a lot? 82 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,076 Nope. His only friend was a cricket. 83 00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:48,747 "Only friend was a cricket." What a goof! 84 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:55,170 Yes, I have the Monet here with me. 85 00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,839 The painting is yours for 5 million Euros. 86 00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:00,467 For an extra penny, I'll throw in the frame. 87 00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:05,638 All right, let's go check out the Louvre. 88 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,766 I hear there's a naked lady there with no arms. 89 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,434 The map's in your purse. 90 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,562 It's a satchel, not a purse. 91 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:13,688 All right? 92 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,399 Right. Not a purse. 93 00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:21,488 Someone must've taken mine by mistake. I had important stuff in there! 94 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,865 Like what, your bag of marshmallows? 95 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:27,952 Yes. It's a snack and a pillow, okay? 96 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:31,539 Okay, relax, relax. We'll just have to track down whoever owns this bag. 97 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,250 There's gotta be a wallet with some I.D. In there. 98 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,502 Uh, no wallet. 99 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,672 - Oh, but there is a day planner. - All right, give me this. 100 00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:43,927 Ah, look. Whoever owns this has an appointment at 1 o'clock 101 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:47,597 at cafe tres Cher with a babe named Stephanie. 102 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,600 - So? - So if we go there, 103 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,435 we might be able to get your bag back. 104 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:56,022 - Plus maybe this Stephanie is cute. - Ooh! I hope they have crepes! 105 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,525 What? 106 00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:00,652 Oh, no! 107 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:08,660 Someone stole my stolen painting. You can't trust anyone these days. 108 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,510 I don't believe it! Look! That's me over there! 109 00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:29,347 They took this when I was 12! Wow. Check it out. 110 00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,765 I must still be big in France. 111 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,687 Oh, bonjour, babes. 112 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:38,606 It's me, Li'l Little. Je suis me. 113 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:47,449 Um, obviously they must be a little intimidated by a celebrity. 114 00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:50,076 Or they don't believe you're you. 115 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,078 I mean, you used to be cute. 116 00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:01,379 London, will you please go on a date with me? 117 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:02,505 First of all... 118 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,633 Second of all... uck! And third of all... 119 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,045 Oh, wait. I already did that. 120 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:12,390 Come on. I planned my anniversary date with Bailey 121 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:15,516 and I want you to do a dry run with me just to make sure everything's perfect. 122 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,771 Not gonna happen. Don't like helping people. 123 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,565 If you help me, I'll do your paper on Lafayette for you. 124 00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:24,444 - What paper? - The one that's due Monday morning. 125 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,321 What? How do you know about this stuff? 126 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:28,823 - I look at the board. - Oh. 127 00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,576 - Where's the board? - In the classroom. 128 00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,745 Oh! Where's the classroom? 129 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:36,831 - On the boat. - Oh. Ooh! 130 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:39,376 - In the water. - Oh. 131 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,758 You are going to love your present, Cody. 132 00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:49,552 It's handmade with lots of love. 133 00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:53,515 Okay, no, I can't tell what it is. Okay. 134 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,935 I can't tell what it is either. 135 00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,813 It's supposed to be the Eiffel Tower. 136 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:07,362 Ah. So you are an impressionist, which I should have guessed, 137 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:10,407 because you have already made quite an impression on me. 138 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:14,119 I have a boyfriend. 139 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,080 And I have a goldfish. 140 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,332 See? Look how much we are learning about each other. 141 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,211 I am Jean Luc. And you are? 142 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:26,881 Bailey. Listen, you're very sweet, Jean Luc but... 143 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:33,096 I'm making this as an anniversary gift for my boyfriend. Remember? 144 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,432 - The one I mentioned four seconds ago? - Oh. No, no, no. 145 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:39,352 Let me paint a portrait of you as your gift. Here, sit, sit. 146 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:43,398 - Okay. - You know, as beautiful as you are, 147 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,150 you belong on the canvas. 148 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:49,112 Uh, okay, but put Cody in it too. 149 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,740 He's my boyfriend. Mention number three. 150 00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:57,371 How are we gonna find this Stephanie? We have no idea what she looks like. 151 00:08:57,412 --> 00:09:00,123 I picture her as a tall brunette 152 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,834 with full lips and piercing green eyes. 153 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,587 She loves the outdoors, but she also enjoys a night in... 154 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,174 Cuddling by the fire. 155 00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:11,968 Excuse me, can you help us? 156 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,094 No. 157 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,516 - What do you want? - We're looking for someone 158 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,186 who's supposed to be here at 1 o'clock, Stephanie. 159 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,896 I am Stephane. 160 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,232 He doesn't look like a cuddler. 161 00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:31,154 Um, we're here to make an exchange. 162 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:34,324 - I was expecting a woman. - So were we. 163 00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:38,536 Who cares? Give me the Monet! 164 00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,455 We don't have any money. 165 00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:42,957 We thought Marcus was gonna pay for lunch. 166 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:45,043 Oh, but here you go. 167 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:48,254 "Bank error in your favor." You can collect $200. 168 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:52,300 Stop playing games and give me what you stole. 169 00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:54,135 I didn't steal anything, it was an accident. 170 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:57,097 An accident? You do not rappel through the skylight 171 00:09:57,180 --> 00:10:00,183 into the Musee d'Orsay, steal a priceless Monet 172 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,852 and escape through the sewers by accident! 173 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:03,937 Huh? 174 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,524 - We were never in the sewers. - No. 175 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,609 My nose tells me different. 176 00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:12,862 Hey, I didn't smell like this until you pointed that thing at me. 177 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,991 - Just take the purse. - Satchel. 178 00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:18,326 Just please don't hurt us. 179 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,970 Why would I want a purse like that? No man has a purse like that. 180 00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:22,706 Told you. 181 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:28,128 Very clever, not bringing the painting to our rendezvous. 182 00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:30,672 But now, you will take me to it. 183 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,590 Okay, okay, let me just get the map. 184 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:34,259 Okay. 185 00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:37,512 Quick, quick! Hurry up! 186 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,266 Run! 187 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,071 Are you gonna finish that? All right, thanks. 188 00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,692 Come back or I'll shoot! 189 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,777 Oh, no. 190 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,702 Have you seen these two boys? 191 00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:03,413 Oui! They ran off in that direction! 192 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:09,502 I love messing with people. 193 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,380 Here's your coffee. 194 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:31,524 Uh, how much longer? My lips are cramping. 195 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,944 Perhaps I could massage them for you with my lips. 196 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,781 You know, I think you would really like Cody. 197 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:40,492 He's very creative. One time, he wrote me 198 00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:42,869 an opera based on the periodic table. 199 00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:45,205 He said I was hotter than plutonium. 200 00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:51,795 I do not know much about chemistry, other than that you and I have it. 201 00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:55,965 Have I already mentioned 202 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:59,177 I can neuter a bull with my bare hands? 203 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,929 That would discourage me, 204 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,556 if I were not French. 205 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,808 Oh. 206 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:07,977 You are a very persistent people. 207 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,062 Oui. 208 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,314 Oh, oh, oh! 209 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:24,911 ♪ Hydrogen and helium I'll tell you how I feel-ium ♪ 210 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,748 ♪ iron, cobalt, nickel, copper ♪ 211 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:34,796 ♪ Bailey, you're a real heart stopper ♪ 212 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,631 Ah. 213 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,635 Yeah. 214 00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,471 So what did you think? 215 00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,890 I think I'd rather hear someone step on a cat. 216 00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:49,978 Okay. Moving on, 217 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,855 after I sing my opera to Bailey, 218 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:55,817 we'll eat our entree, which is taking forever by the way. 219 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,318 Much like your opera. 220 00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:03,533 Listen, tomorrow I'm going to be here with someone I care about. 221 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,703 - Thank you? - You're coming back? 222 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:08,747 Oh, goody. 223 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:14,794 So I would appreciate it if our meal got here before the bread got moldy. 224 00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,629 It's moldy when I bring it. 225 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,761 This is the perfect spot to watch the race. 226 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,596 I wonder why this place is so empty. 227 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,556 Ah, Cody. 228 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,977 - Hi, London. - Save me! 229 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,066 The cyclists will go right by here, 230 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:39,235 athletes from all nations hunched over their metallic steeds. 231 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,653 I know, I know. 232 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:44,324 A cyclone of cycles, a blizzard of bikes. 233 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:49,329 All culminating with the presentation of the glorious victory cup! 234 00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,291 Ah! Thank you. 235 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,462 Oh, check it out. It's the girls from the record shop. 236 00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:00,131 Hey, girls, look! It's still me, Li'l Little! 237 00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:05,512 I can't believe they don't believe I'm me. 238 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:09,182 Did you say Li'l Little? 239 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:13,436 P'tit petite? Oh, I love him. 240 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:17,315 You know, tomorrow he is signing CDs at the record shop around the corner. 241 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,360 He is? Wait, that's not possible. 242 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:23,530 - I'm Li'l Little. - And I'm Marie Antoinette. 243 00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:25,490 Ow! Okay. 244 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,120 CD signing? What's going on here? 245 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,913 You know what? I'm gonna call my agent. 246 00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:33,331 Oh, you still have an agent? 247 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:35,417 Okay, former agent. 248 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,421 Hello, is Murray there? 249 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,798 Yeah, it's Marcus little. 250 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,551 Yeah. Li'l Little. 251 00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:47,554 His godson. 252 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,308 Fine, I'll hold. 253 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,991 There's no painting in here. What was Stephanie talking about? 254 00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:12,120 I don't know. I just hope we lost him. 255 00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,956 - Do you think we lost him? - Nope. 256 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,375 - We've got to get out of here. - How? 257 00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:20,670 I don't know. Wait, I've got it. 258 00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,964 You distract him by letting him catch you, 259 00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:25,467 then I'll escape and immortalize your deed in song. 260 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:28,178 - What rhymes with, "Woody's dead"? - Hmm. 261 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,264 Bed, lead... what? No! 262 00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:33,224 Okay. 263 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,769 Well, how do we get past him? 264 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:39,147 - We need to blend in with the locals. - I've got it. 265 00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,649 Have you seen these two American boys? 266 00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,152 - Follow me. - One of them has a pajama shirt 267 00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:46,527 and the other has big fuzzy hair and looks like a near-sighted deer 268 00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:47,697 with glasses and... 269 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,993 Never mind. Everybody has allergies today. 270 00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:08,077 I can't believe this is the only thing they had in a husky. 271 00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:09,219 There he is. Act French. 272 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,765 - "Frere Jacques." - Bon jovi. 273 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,476 Oui, oui, oui. 274 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,729 It's working. Woody, get on. 275 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:25,110 Come on. 276 00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:27,362 I'm trying. It's hard to get on with these pantaloons. 277 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,863 Okay, let me help. Let me help. 278 00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:32,617 How did Napoleon ever get on one of these? 279 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,205 - You two! - Sacre bleu! 280 00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:38,623 You are French toast! 281 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,173 Nah. Can't be them. 282 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,015 Get out! Get out! 283 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:58,101 And if I see you again, I will flatten you like a crepe! 284 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,687 I'm just saying that your fondue was a fon-don't, mister! 285 00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:03,982 Come, Maurice. 286 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,110 Okay. France. 287 00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:10,613 - What's that? - Oh, it's a map of the world. 288 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:13,577 I color in all the countries where Cody's been kicked out of restaurants. 289 00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:17,162 Um, Cody, look. I know we're not really dating, 290 00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,164 but can I break up with you? 291 00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:21,916 Not yet. We still have to go to the Eiffel Tower. 292 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,336 That's where I want to end my perfect date with Bailey. 293 00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:27,964 Nope, absolutely not. I am not taking one more step with you. 294 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:31,885 Did I say Eiffel Tower? I meant Eiffel mall! 295 00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,511 Ooh, shopping! Yay mall! 296 00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:42,062 What? Is Stephanie gaining on us? 297 00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:44,064 Nope, I sat on my sword. 298 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:52,489 Oh, good, other cyclists. We can blend in. 299 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,074 I don't think so. 300 00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:56,037 We're right in the middle of the tour de France! 301 00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,746 I hope this qualifies as p.E. Credit. 302 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:06,795 Just one last stroke and voila. 303 00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:12,717 So what do you think? 304 00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:16,429 Uh, very funny, but now I don't have a gift. 305 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:18,723 Wait. No, no, no. Okay, okay, okay. 306 00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:20,725 I can paint it the way you see him, okay? 307 00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:22,894 And you can pick it up tomorrow. 308 00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:25,605 But right now, let's have dinner. 309 00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:29,150 I have a better idea. You keep painting and I'll go sightseeing. 310 00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:32,445 But the cafe across the street has wonderful service! 311 00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:34,698 My sister, she works there! 312 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,786 This is embarrassing. All these guys are passing us. 313 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:45,083 Maybe that's because they don't have to drag Napoleon behind them. 314 00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:49,879 Are you even pedaling? 315 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:53,842 I’m supposed to pedal? I thought we were taking turns. 316 00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:57,095 And when were you planning on taking your turn, next week? 317 00:18:57,178 --> 00:19:00,265 No, just as soon as we started going downhill. 318 00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:02,934 - Would you pedal? - All right. 319 00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:08,398 Oh no, we're heading back into Paris! That's where Stephanie is! 320 00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:12,652 - Oh no, it's not! - Oh, no. 321 00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:19,200 I've got you, you fuzzy-haired American buffoon! 322 00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:21,703 Fuzzy-haired American buffoon with a sword! 323 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:25,498 En garde! 324 00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:26,624 What is that? 325 00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:28,626 Hey, give it back! That's a rental! 326 00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:30,128 And you call yourself a general! 327 00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:31,713 Take that! And that! 328 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,634 Pardonnez-moi. 329 00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:38,595 Do you by chance have any jam? 330 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,144 Woody, help! Or the next slice will be my hand! 331 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:49,189 Give me that! Give me that! 332 00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,274 - Hey! - I need something to spread my jam. 333 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:53,568 Well, enjoy it! It will be your last meal! 334 00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:56,863 Ow! My eye! Ooh! 335 00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:01,493 Woody, what would it take for you to not think about food? 336 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:06,790 - Huh. I honestly don't know. - Give me jam. 337 00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:13,630 Oops! Sorry, Lance! 338 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,051 Look, I've been on hold for 20 minutes. 339 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,136 What do you mean Murray won't take my call? 340 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,263 - I made him millions! - Ah! 341 00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:24,599 The cyclists are coming! The cyclists are coming! 342 00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:28,186 What is Napoleon doing in the tour de France? 343 00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:40,490 Ugh. That tore Napoleon's bones apart. 344 00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:44,786 Why is everything spinning? 345 00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:48,081 Oh! The horror! 346 00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:51,543 It's like Colorado 1991 all over again! 347 00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,212 Ah! Oh, oh, oh. 348 00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:58,216 No, no, no, wait. 349 00:20:58,299 --> 00:21:00,885 Help him up. Wait a second. 350 00:21:00,969 --> 00:21:03,013 No, no, no, you don't understand, I'm not... 351 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:06,057 No, the outfit doesn't mean that I... oh dear! 352 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:12,939 Framboise! Pamplemousse! 353 00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:22,157 Marcus, help! 354 00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:26,578 Well, you tell Murray that my platinum record paid for his yacht! 355 00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:28,997 And his wedding! And his transplants! 356 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,540 Heart and hair! 357 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:38,256 I can't believe I won the tour de France! 358 00:21:39,174 --> 00:21:42,177 Ooh, merci. Merci beaucoup. 359 00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:44,137 Hey, hey, hey! 360 00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:48,099 He cheated! He's not even sweating! 361 00:21:48,183 --> 00:21:52,020 And besides, with legs that short, he should still be in Bordeaux! 362 00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:54,022 Uh-oh. 363 00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:10,872 Hey! You said there was a mall up here! 364 00:22:10,955 --> 00:22:16,294 No. No, I said, "the view up here is the best of them all." 365 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:18,922 I mean, which it is. 366 00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:22,300 - Just look at that. - Oh, it is pretty. 367 00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:24,302 You can see everything from here... 368 00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:26,888 Notré dame, the Louvre, 369 00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:29,808 that angry mob beating a man with a bicycle. 370 00:22:29,891 --> 00:22:33,186 Wow. This is just so beautiful. 371 00:22:34,354 --> 00:22:38,566 You know, maybe I'll just make the whole date with Bailey up here. 372 00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:41,695 Are you sure that's such a good idea? You tend to get thrown out of places. 373 00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:48,702 So how many diamonds are you getting Bailey for your anniversary? 374 00:22:48,785 --> 00:22:50,704 I can't afford diamonds. 375 00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:53,415 Besides, the appropriate gift for a first anniversary 376 00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:54,791 is something made from paper. 377 00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:57,168 If my boyfriend didn't get me diamonds, 378 00:22:57,252 --> 00:23:00,213 I'd give him something made of paper: His death certificate. 379 00:23:01,464 --> 00:23:03,717 My paper gift to Bailey is the love poem I wrote 380 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,011 commemorating our relationship. I'll read it to you. 381 00:23:06,094 --> 00:23:09,180 Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. How long is this poem? 382 00:23:09,264 --> 00:23:10,807 Two-hundred and 81 stanzas. 383 00:23:11,808 --> 00:23:13,351 We've been through a lot. 384 00:23:14,686 --> 00:23:17,939 "Bailey, when we first met you looked like a boy 385 00:23:18,023 --> 00:23:21,735 when I found out you weren't my heart filled with joy. 386 00:23:21,818 --> 00:23:24,821 In biology class our two hearts connected 387 00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:27,323 over the organs of the frog we dissected" 388 00:23:27,407 --> 00:23:28,825 now I've been through a lot. 389 00:23:30,243 --> 00:23:32,454 - May I see that for a second? - Sure. 390 00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:34,664 Hey! 391 00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:38,460 Look out, s'il vous plait! 392 00:23:39,669 --> 00:23:41,950 Okay, let's imagine you've already read the poem to Bailey 393 00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:44,049 and for some unknown reason she liked it. 394 00:23:44,132 --> 00:23:46,009 Cody! 395 00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:48,261 What's next? 396 00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:50,221 We dance. 397 00:23:55,727 --> 00:23:58,605 Wow, that made me a lot less nauseous than that poem. 398 00:23:58,688 --> 00:24:00,732 Whoa! Oh! Oh! 399 00:24:00,815 --> 00:24:03,109 Whoa! Spoke too soon. 400 00:24:03,193 --> 00:24:05,236 And then I do this. 401 00:24:06,196 --> 00:24:09,199 You are the most beautiful girl in all of the world 402 00:24:09,282 --> 00:24:12,243 your eyes shine brighter than all of the stars in the sky 403 00:24:17,207 --> 00:24:19,793 so what do you think? 404 00:24:20,585 --> 00:24:21,878 Wow. 405 00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:24,547 You know, I never thought that I'd say this, 406 00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:27,884 but I think Bailey's a very lucky girl. 407 00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:29,928 - Thanks, London. - I don't even mind 408 00:24:30,011 --> 00:24:32,305 that I wasted my whole day... helping you. 409 00:24:33,473 --> 00:24:37,185 Good to know, because we still have to audition 40 accordion players. 410 00:24:37,268 --> 00:24:40,397 No!