1
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,065
Okay. We only have
two days in Paris so
2
00:00:06,066 --> 00:00:08,466
I've circled all the
places we have to go.
3
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:09,676
Cool.
4
00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:11,761
We're gonna start at
the Paris opera house
5
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,431
to pick up some musical babes.
Then we're gonna head over
6
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:18,101
to Montmartre to pick
up some artistic babes.
7
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:21,062
And then we're gonna head
over to the left bank for...
8
00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:22,772
Left-handed babes.
9
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,609
Ooh! And all these
places have snack bars!
10
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,696
So you can pick up hungry babes.
11
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:34,325
I can't believe we are
going to get to spend
12
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,578
our one-year
anniversary in Paris.
13
00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:39,956
I know! City of lights, romance
14
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,125
and the world's largest
network of sewer pipes.
15
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,294
I love that you know that.
16
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:53,720
Sacre barf.
17
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:59,434
♪ Oh ay oh, oh ay oh
oh ay oh, oh ay oh ♪
18
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:05,148
♪ come along with me
and let's head out to see ♪
19
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:09,069
♪ what this world has
for you and for me now ♪
20
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,696
♪ whichever way the wind blows ♪
21
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,323
♪ we say hey ho, let's go ♪
22
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:15,742
♪ oh ay oh this boat's rocking ♪
23
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:19,537
♪ oh ay oh ain't no
stopping us now ♪
24
00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:22,499
♪ because we're
living the suite life ♪
25
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,751
♪ oh ay oh this boat's rocking ♪
26
00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:28,380
♪ oh ay oh rocking
the whole world round ♪
27
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:32,509
♪ and we're living
the suite life now ♪
28
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:35,553
♪ hey ho oh ay oh, let's go ♪
29
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:50,402
Oh, ho, ho! I love Paris!
30
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:53,445
I mean, just think of all the great
writers that have walked these streets.
31
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:56,157
Voltaire, Flaubert, Moliere.
32
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,617
Don't care.
33
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,912
Yeah, I bet none of those
guys wore stretchy shorts.
34
00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:04,874
I am dressed this way to root on
my favorite team in the tour de France!
35
00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,961
You know, most
fans just make a sign.
36
00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:10,964
Oh. I am more than just a fan.
37
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:15,552
It was a brisk fall
day, Colorado, 1991.
38
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,054
Here we go.
39
00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:23,893
The U.S. cycling team was training
two of its most promising members:
40
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:28,565
Lance Armstrong and...
Marion 'spokes' Moseby.
41
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,694
Lance and I were ready to
race into the record books.
42
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,946
But, alas, it
wasn't meant to be.
43
00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:38,783
Why? Your feet couldn't reach
the pedals on a big-boy bike?
44
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:44,330
No, I was careening down a hill,
45
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,958
my shaved legs slicing
through the wind...
46
00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:50,420
When my chain broke.
47
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,381
As did my tibia, my
fibula and my dreams.
48
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:55,967
Wow, Mr. Moseby.
49
00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,927
You have failed
at so many things,
50
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,472
cycling, croquet, badminton.
51
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:01,806
- Don't forget love.
- Oh, yeah.
52
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,602
Ignore those folks. I'll watch
the tour de France with you.
53
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,937
Thank you, Marcus.
That's very thoughtful of you.
54
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,687
Better than hanging out
with these two deadbeats.
55
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:12,984
The one time they picked up the check,
they used money from a board game.
56
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,694
We had to go directly to jail.
57
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:16,858
Thank goodness I had that
card to get us out, though.
58
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:23,828
I love Paris! It looks
just like the postcards.
59
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:25,997
But who is this woman I
keep seeing everywhere?
60
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,374
Is she the mayor?
61
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:32,337
Anyways, I really want to get
Cody a special anniversary gift.
62
00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:35,173
Something he really needs
but would never get himself.
63
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,425
A decent-looking
girlfriend? I'd Chip in for that.
64
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,470
Okay. France.
65
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,766
- What is that?
- Oh, a map of the world.
66
00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:47,936
I color in all the countries
where you've insulted me.
67
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,647
How did I miss Norway? We
were docked there for an entire day.
68
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,181
You didn't. You
said when I went to
69
00:03:54,182 --> 00:03:56,027
shore they'd rename
the country, boreway.
70
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,363
- Oh, yeah.
- I just forgot to color it in.
71
00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:10,375
This crepe is awesome.
72
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:12,168
Hot fudge and whipped cream
73
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,629
all rolled up in a handy,
edible carrying case.
74
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:17,799
It's a French burrito.
Isn't this sea school great?
75
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:20,677
It's like the United
Nations of indigestion.
76
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,307
Hey, take a picture of
me with this puppet dude.
77
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,517
The camera's in your purse.
78
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,979
It's not a purse,
it's a satchel.
79
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,861
Why do you want a picture with
these creepy French puppets?
80
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,947
To mock Cody. His nickname in
elementary school was Pinocchio.
81
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,324
Did he lie a lot?
82
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,076
Nope. His only
friend was a cricket.
83
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:48,747
"Only friend was a
cricket." What a goof!
84
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:55,170
Yes, I have the
Monet here with me.
85
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,839
The painting is yours
for 5 million Euros.
86
00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:00,467
For an extra penny,
I'll throw in the frame.
87
00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:05,638
All right, let's go
check out the Louvre.
88
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,766
I hear there's a naked
lady there with no arms.
89
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,434
The map's in your purse.
90
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,562
It's a satchel, not a purse.
91
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:13,688
All right?
92
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,399
Right. Not a purse.
93
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:21,488
Someone must've taken mine by
mistake. I had important stuff in there!
94
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,865
Like what, your bag
of marshmallows?
95
00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:27,952
Yes. It's a snack
and a pillow, okay?
96
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:31,539
Okay, relax, relax. We'll just have
to track down whoever owns this bag.
97
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,250
There's gotta be a wallet
with some I.D. In there.
98
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,502
Uh, no wallet.
99
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,672
- Oh, but there is a day planner.
- All right, give me this.
100
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:43,927
Ah, look. Whoever owns this
has an appointment at 1 o'clock
101
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:47,597
at cafe tres Cher with a
babe named Stephanie.
102
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,600
- So?
- So if we go there,
103
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,435
we might be able
to get your bag back.
104
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:56,022
- Plus maybe this Stephanie is cute.
- Ooh! I hope they have crepes!
105
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,525
What?
106
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:00,652
Oh, no!
107
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:08,660
Someone stole my stolen painting.
You can't trust anyone these days.
108
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,510
I don't believe it! Look!
That's me over there!
109
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:29,347
They took this when I
was 12! Wow. Check it out.
110
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,765
I must still be big in France.
111
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,687
Oh, bonjour, babes.
112
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:38,606
It's me, Li'l Little.
Je suis me.
113
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:47,449
Um, obviously they must be a
little intimidated by a celebrity.
114
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:50,076
Or they don't
believe you're you.
115
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,078
I mean, you used to be cute.
116
00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:01,379
London, will you please
go on a date with me?
117
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:02,505
First of all...
118
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,633
Second of all...
uck! And third of all...
119
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,045
Oh, wait. I already did that.
120
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:12,390
Come on. I planned my
anniversary date with Bailey
121
00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:15,516
and I want you to do a dry run with me
just to make sure everything's perfect.
122
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,771
Not gonna happen.
Don't like helping people.
123
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,565
If you help me, I'll do your
paper on Lafayette for you.
124
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:24,444
- What paper?
- The one that's due Monday morning.
125
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,321
What? How do you
know about this stuff?
126
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:28,823
- I look at the board.
- Oh.
127
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,576
- Where's the board?
- In the classroom.
128
00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,745
Oh! Where's the classroom?
129
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:36,831
- On the boat.
- Oh. Ooh!
130
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:39,376
- In the water.
- Oh.
131
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,758
You are going to love
your present, Cody.
132
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:49,552
It's handmade with lots of love.
133
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:53,515
Okay, no, I can't
tell what it is. Okay.
134
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,935
I can't tell what it is either.
135
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,813
It's supposed to
be the Eiffel Tower.
136
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:07,362
Ah. So you are an impressionist,
which I should have guessed,
137
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:10,407
because you have already
made quite an impression on me.
138
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:14,119
I have a boyfriend.
139
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,080
And I have a goldfish.
140
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,332
See? Look how much we
are learning about each other.
141
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,211
I am Jean Luc. And you are?
142
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:26,881
Bailey. Listen, you're
very sweet, Jean Luc but...
143
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:33,096
I'm making this as an anniversary
gift for my boyfriend. Remember?
144
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,432
- The one I mentioned four seconds ago?
- Oh. No, no, no.
145
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:39,352
Let me paint a portrait of
you as your gift. Here, sit, sit.
146
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:43,398
- Okay.
- You know, as beautiful as you are,
147
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,150
you belong on the canvas.
148
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:49,112
Uh, okay, but
put Cody in it too.
149
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,740
He's my boyfriend.
Mention number three.
150
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:57,371
How are we gonna find this Stephanie?
We have no idea what she looks like.
151
00:08:57,412 --> 00:09:00,123
I picture her as a tall brunette
152
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,834
with full lips and
piercing green eyes.
153
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,587
She loves the outdoors, but
she also enjoys a night in...
154
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,174
Cuddling by the fire.
155
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:11,968
Excuse me, can you help us?
156
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,094
No.
157
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,516
- What do you want?
- We're looking for someone
158
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,186
who's supposed to be
here at 1 o'clock, Stephanie.
159
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,896
I am Stephane.
160
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,232
He doesn't look like a cuddler.
161
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:31,154
Um, we're here to
make an exchange.
162
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:34,324
- I was expecting a woman.
- So were we.
163
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:38,536
Who cares? Give me the Monet!
164
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,455
We don't have any money.
165
00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:42,957
We thought Marcus
was gonna pay for lunch.
166
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:45,043
Oh, but here you go.
167
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:48,254
"Bank error in your favor."
You can collect $200.
168
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:52,300
Stop playing games and
give me what you stole.
169
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:54,135
I didn't steal anything,
it was an accident.
170
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:57,097
An accident? You do not
rappel through the skylight
171
00:09:57,180 --> 00:10:00,183
into the Musee d'Orsay,
steal a priceless Monet
172
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,852
and escape through
the sewers by accident!
173
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:03,937
Huh?
174
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,524
- We were never in the sewers.
- No.
175
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,609
My nose tells me different.
176
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:12,862
Hey, I didn't smell like this
until you pointed that thing at me.
177
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,991
- Just take the purse.
- Satchel.
178
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:18,326
Just please don't hurt us.
179
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,970
Why would I want a purse like
that? No man has a purse like that.
180
00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:22,706
Told you.
181
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:28,128
Very clever, not bringing the
painting to our rendezvous.
182
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:30,672
But now, you will take me to it.
183
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,590
Okay, okay, let
me just get the map.
184
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:34,259
Okay.
185
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:37,512
Quick, quick! Hurry up!
186
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,266
Run!
187
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,071
Are you gonna finish
that? All right, thanks.
188
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,692
Come back or I'll shoot!
189
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,777
Oh, no.
190
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,702
Have you seen these two boys?
191
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:03,413
Oui! They ran off
in that direction!
192
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:09,502
I love messing with people.
193
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,380
Here's your coffee.
194
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:31,524
Uh, how much longer?
My lips are cramping.
195
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,944
Perhaps I could massage
them for you with my lips.
196
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,781
You know, I think you
would really like Cody.
197
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:40,492
He's very creative.
One time, he wrote me
198
00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:42,869
an opera based on
the periodic table.
199
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:45,205
He said I was hotter
than plutonium.
200
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:51,795
I do not know much about chemistry,
other than that you and I have it.
201
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:55,965
Have I already mentioned
202
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:59,177
I can neuter a bull
with my bare hands?
203
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,929
That would discourage me,
204
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,556
if I were not French.
205
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,808
Oh.
206
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:07,977
You are a very
persistent people.
207
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,062
Oui.
208
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,314
Oh, oh, oh!
209
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:24,911
♪ Hydrogen and helium
I'll tell you how I feel-ium ♪
210
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,748
♪ iron, cobalt, nickel, copper ♪
211
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:34,796
♪ Bailey, you're a
real heart stopper ♪
212
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,631
Ah.
213
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,635
Yeah.
214
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,471
So what did you think?
215
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,890
I think I'd rather hear
someone step on a cat.
216
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:49,978
Okay. Moving on,
217
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,855
after I sing my opera to Bailey,
218
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:55,817
we'll eat our entree, which
is taking forever by the way.
219
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,318
Much like your opera.
220
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:03,533
Listen, tomorrow I'm going to be
here with someone I care about.
221
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,703
- Thank you?
- You're coming back?
222
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:08,747
Oh, goody.
223
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:14,794
So I would appreciate it if our meal
got here before the bread got moldy.
224
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,629
It's moldy when I bring it.
225
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,761
This is the perfect
spot to watch the race.
226
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,596
I wonder why this
place is so empty.
227
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,556
Ah, Cody.
228
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,977
- Hi, London.
- Save me!
229
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,066
The cyclists will
go right by here,
230
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:39,235
athletes from all nations
hunched over their metallic steeds.
231
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,653
I know, I know.
232
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:44,324
A cyclone of cycles,
a blizzard of bikes.
233
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:49,329
All culminating with the presentation
of the glorious victory cup!
234
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,291
Ah! Thank you.
235
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,462
Oh, check it out. It's the
girls from the record shop.
236
00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:00,131
Hey, girls, look!
It's still me, Li'l Little!
237
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:05,512
I can't believe they
don't believe I'm me.
238
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:09,182
Did you say Li'l Little?
239
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:13,436
P'tit petite? Oh, I love him.
240
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:17,315
You know, tomorrow he is signing CDs
at the record shop around the corner.
241
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,360
He is? Wait,
that's not possible.
242
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:23,530
- I'm Li'l Little.
- And I'm Marie Antoinette.
243
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:25,490
Ow! Okay.
244
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,120
CD signing? What's
going on here?
245
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,913
You know what? I'm
gonna call my agent.
246
00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:33,331
Oh, you still have an agent?
247
00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:35,417
Okay, former agent.
248
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,421
Hello, is Murray there?
249
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,798
Yeah, it's Marcus little.
250
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,551
Yeah. Li'l Little.
251
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:47,554
His godson.
252
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,308
Fine, I'll hold.
253
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,991
There's no painting in here.
What was Stephanie talking about?
254
00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:12,120
I don't know. I just
hope we lost him.
255
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,956
- Do you think we lost him?
- Nope.
256
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,375
- We've got to get out of here.
- How?
257
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:20,670
I don't know. Wait, I've got it.
258
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,964
You distract him by
letting him catch you,
259
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:25,467
then I'll escape and
immortalize your deed in song.
260
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:28,178
- What rhymes with, "Woody's dead"?
- Hmm.
261
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,264
Bed, lead... what? No!
262
00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:33,224
Okay.
263
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,769
Well, how do we get past him?
264
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:39,147
- We need to blend in with the locals.
- I've got it.
265
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,649
Have you seen these
two American boys?
266
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,152
- Follow me.
- One of them has a pajama shirt
267
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:46,527
and the other has big fuzzy hair
and looks like a near-sighted deer
268
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:47,697
with glasses and...
269
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,993
Never mind. Everybody
has allergies today.
270
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:08,077
I can't believe this is the
only thing they had in a husky.
271
00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:09,219
There he is. Act French.
272
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,765
- "Frere Jacques."
- Bon jovi.
273
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,476
Oui, oui, oui.
274
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,729
It's working. Woody, get on.
275
00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:25,110
Come on.
276
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:27,362
I'm trying. It's hard to get
on with these pantaloons.
277
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,863
Okay, let me help. Let me help.
278
00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:32,617
How did Napoleon
ever get on one of these?
279
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,205
- You two!
- Sacre bleu!
280
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:38,623
You are French toast!
281
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,173
Nah. Can't be them.
282
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,015
Get out! Get out!
283
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:58,101
And if I see you again, I
will flatten you like a crepe!
284
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,687
I'm just saying that your
fondue was a fon-don't, mister!
285
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:03,982
Come, Maurice.
286
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,110
Okay. France.
287
00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:10,613
- What's that?
- Oh, it's a map of the world.
288
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:13,577
I color in all the countries where
Cody's been kicked out of restaurants.
289
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:17,162
Um, Cody, look. I know
we're not really dating,
290
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,164
but can I break up with you?
291
00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:21,916
Not yet. We still have
to go to the Eiffel Tower.
292
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,336
That's where I want to end
my perfect date with Bailey.
293
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:27,964
Nope, absolutely not. I am not
taking one more step with you.
294
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:31,885
Did I say Eiffel Tower?
I meant Eiffel mall!
295
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,511
Ooh, shopping! Yay mall!
296
00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:42,062
What? Is Stephanie
gaining on us?
297
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:44,064
Nope, I sat on my sword.
298
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:52,489
Oh, good, other
cyclists. We can blend in.
299
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,074
I don't think so.
300
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:56,037
We're right in the middle
of the tour de France!
301
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,746
I hope this qualifies
as p.E. Credit.
302
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:06,795
Just one last stroke and voila.
303
00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:12,717
So what do you think?
304
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:16,429
Uh, very funny, but
now I don't have a gift.
305
00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:18,723
Wait. No, no, no.
Okay, okay, okay.
306
00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:20,725
I can paint it the way
you see him, okay?
307
00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:22,894
And you can pick it up tomorrow.
308
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:25,605
But right now,
let's have dinner.
309
00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:29,150
I have a better idea. You keep
painting and I'll go sightseeing.
310
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:32,445
But the cafe across the
street has wonderful service!
311
00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:34,698
My sister, she works there!
312
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,786
This is embarrassing. All
these guys are passing us.
313
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:45,083
Maybe that's because they don't
have to drag Napoleon behind them.
314
00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:49,879
Are you even pedaling?
315
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:53,842
I’m supposed to pedal? I
thought we were taking turns.
316
00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:57,095
And when were you planning
on taking your turn, next week?
317
00:18:57,178 --> 00:19:00,265
No, just as soon as we
started going downhill.
318
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:02,934
- Would you pedal?
- All right.
319
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:08,398
Oh no, we're heading back into
Paris! That's where Stephanie is!
320
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:12,652
- Oh no, it's not!
- Oh, no.
321
00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:19,200
I've got you, you
fuzzy-haired American buffoon!
322
00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:21,703
Fuzzy-haired American
buffoon with a sword!
323
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:25,498
En garde!
324
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:26,624
What is that?
325
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:28,626
Hey, give it back!
That's a rental!
326
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:30,128
And you call yourself a general!
327
00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:31,713
Take that! And that!
328
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,634
Pardonnez-moi.
329
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:38,595
Do you by chance have any jam?
330
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,144
Woody, help! Or the
next slice will be my hand!
331
00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:49,189
Give me that! Give me that!
332
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,274
- Hey!
- I need something to spread my jam.
333
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:53,568
Well, enjoy it! It will
be your last meal!
334
00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:56,863
Ow! My eye! Ooh!
335
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:01,493
Woody, what would it take
for you to not think about food?
336
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:06,790
- Huh. I honestly don't know.
- Give me jam.
337
00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:13,630
Oops! Sorry, Lance!
338
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,051
Look, I've been on
hold for 20 minutes.
339
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,136
What do you mean
Murray won't take my call?
340
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,263
- I made him millions!
- Ah!
341
00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:24,599
The cyclists are coming!
The cyclists are coming!
342
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:28,186
What is Napoleon doing
in the tour de France?
343
00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:40,490
Ugh. That tore
Napoleon's bones apart.
344
00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:44,786
Why is everything spinning?
345
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:48,081
Oh! The horror!
346
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:51,543
It's like Colorado
1991 all over again!
347
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,212
Ah! Oh, oh, oh.
348
00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:58,216
No, no, no, wait.
349
00:20:58,299 --> 00:21:00,885
Help him up. Wait a second.
350
00:21:00,969 --> 00:21:03,013
No, no, no, you don't
understand, I'm not...
351
00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:06,057
No, the outfit doesn't
mean that I... oh dear!
352
00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:12,939
Framboise! Pamplemousse!
353
00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:22,157
Marcus, help!
354
00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:26,578
Well, you tell Murray that my
platinum record paid for his yacht!
355
00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:28,997
And his wedding!
And his transplants!
356
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,540
Heart and hair!
357
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:38,256
I can't believe I won
the tour de France!
358
00:21:39,174 --> 00:21:42,177
Ooh, merci. Merci beaucoup.
359
00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:44,137
Hey, hey, hey!
360
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:48,099
He cheated! He's
not even sweating!
361
00:21:48,183 --> 00:21:52,020
And besides, with legs that short,
he should still be in Bordeaux!
362
00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:54,022
Uh-oh.
363
00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:10,872
Hey! You said there
was a mall up here!
364
00:22:10,955 --> 00:22:16,294
No. No, I said, "the view up
here is the best of them all."
365
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:18,922
I mean, which it is.
366
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:22,300
- Just look at that.
- Oh, it is pretty.
367
00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:24,302
You can see
everything from here...
368
00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:26,888
Notré dame, the Louvre,
369
00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:29,808
that angry mob beating
a man with a bicycle.
370
00:22:29,891 --> 00:22:33,186
Wow. This is just so beautiful.
371
00:22:34,354 --> 00:22:38,566
You know, maybe I'll just make
the whole date with Bailey up here.
372
00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:41,695
Are you sure that's such a good idea?
You tend to get thrown out of places.
373
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:48,702
So how many diamonds are you
getting Bailey for your anniversary?
374
00:22:48,785 --> 00:22:50,704
I can't afford diamonds.
375
00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:53,415
Besides, the appropriate
gift for a first anniversary
376
00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:54,791
is something made from paper.
377
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:57,168
If my boyfriend didn't
get me diamonds,
378
00:22:57,252 --> 00:23:00,213
I'd give him something made
of paper: His death certificate.
379
00:23:01,464 --> 00:23:03,717
My paper gift to Bailey
is the love poem I wrote
380
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,011
commemorating our
relationship. I'll read it to you.
381
00:23:06,094 --> 00:23:09,180
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
How long is this poem?
382
00:23:09,264 --> 00:23:10,807
Two-hundred and 81 stanzas.
383
00:23:11,808 --> 00:23:13,351
We've been through a lot.
384
00:23:14,686 --> 00:23:17,939
"Bailey, when we first
met you looked like a boy
385
00:23:18,023 --> 00:23:21,735
when I found out you
weren't my heart filled with joy.
386
00:23:21,818 --> 00:23:24,821
In biology class our
two hearts connected
387
00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:27,323
over the organs of
the frog we dissected"
388
00:23:27,407 --> 00:23:28,825
now I've been through a lot.
389
00:23:30,243 --> 00:23:32,454
- May I see that for a second?
- Sure.
390
00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:34,664
Hey!
391
00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:38,460
Look out, s'il vous plait!
392
00:23:39,669 --> 00:23:41,950
Okay, let's imagine you've
already read the poem to Bailey
393
00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:44,049
and for some unknown
reason she liked it.
394
00:23:44,132 --> 00:23:46,009
Cody!
395
00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:48,261
What's next?
396
00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:50,221
We dance.
397
00:23:55,727 --> 00:23:58,605
Wow, that made me a lot
less nauseous than that poem.
398
00:23:58,688 --> 00:24:00,732
Whoa! Oh! Oh!
399
00:24:00,815 --> 00:24:03,109
Whoa! Spoke too soon.
400
00:24:03,193 --> 00:24:05,236
And then I do this.
401
00:24:06,196 --> 00:24:09,199
You are the most beautiful
girl in all of the world
402
00:24:09,282 --> 00:24:12,243
your eyes shine brighter
than all of the stars in the sky
403
00:24:17,207 --> 00:24:19,793
so what do you think?
404
00:24:20,585 --> 00:24:21,878
Wow.
405
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:24,547
You know, I never
thought that I'd say this,
406
00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:27,884
but I think Bailey's
a very lucky girl.
407
00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:29,928
- Thanks, London.
- I don't even mind
408
00:24:30,011 --> 00:24:32,305
that I wasted my
whole day... helping you.
409
00:24:33,473 --> 00:24:37,185
Good to know, because we still
have to audition 40 accordion players.
410
00:24:37,268 --> 00:24:40,397
No!